#commando error

[sorry-but-no-sorry]

Reg and Error’s shenanigans part 13 !

@exhaustedtech99

Sound from FunkyFrogBait

[thisisanerror]

I love you nina mazursky

[the-stars-are-warring]

DELTA SQUAD WEEK Day 3

Tags: @deltasquadweek

No themes hit today but I did get another ficlet done so :)

"Delta Three-Eight." Three-Eight steps onto the mat facing Vau. He hears the way Sev sucks on his teeth and the sympathetic noise Four-Oh makes.

His ribs ache and his shoulder is still stiff from a bad fall yesterday, but no aches or pains are going to matter when the war arrives and none of it matters now.

Vau stands perfectly poised across the mat, the strill has its head on its paws behind him, eyes half lidded and watching.

"Begin" Vau snaps and he lunges forward.

Three-Eight jabs at Vau's chin and over-plays, he jerks his face to the side, barely deflecting Vau's elbow enough to avoid a black eye to add to the list of aches.

There's no conscious thought, no time to plan - just muscle memory and instinct, movements practiced over and over and-

Three-Eight twists out of reach when Vau nearly gets a hold of him and when Vau follows him - he twitches aside at the last second and traps the sergeant's arm against his rib cage.

Its a simple move, every fighting style in the galaxy has some version of it. Three-Eight grabs Vau's forearm and twists to lock it in place, snapping his other fist into the strained joint of Vau's elbow and feels the bone give against the heel of his palm.

There's an involuntary gasp that changes to a hiss of pain from Vau and Three-Eight feels a bolt of vicious satisfaction as he lets the instinct carry him through as he grabs the back of Vau's neck and pulls.

He pivots, trips the older man as he stagger steps forward. Six months ago he wouldn't have had the bulk to force Walon Vau to the mat but he does now. He lands his knee between the Mandalorian's shoulder-blades.

The breath comes out of Vau in a rush and Three-Eight braces, the other man's broken arm still held against his ribs.

He broke Walon Vau's arm.

There's no time for the terrified glance he wants to throw to his brothers. Vau is not a man to be held and Three-Eight knows from experience that any lapse in attention will mean a new scar or worse.

Mird has perked up and is watching them intently, drool forming cords down to where it's head was resting on its paws. Three Eight keeps an eye on the animal in his peripheral.

It wouldn't be the first time the strill had set on a clone. But Vau doesn't usually have it interfere in hand-to-hand training. Vau's ribcage shudders and Three-Eight zeros back in on the other man.

"Gev." Vau says - still a hair breathless and Three-Eight drops the other man's arm and staggers back to attention.

He can feel his brother's eyes on the back of his neck and holds perfectly rigid. He's nearly 8. Almost tall enough to look their sergeant in the eye.

Vau picks himself up, holding the broken arm to his chest. There's a tightness around his eyes but otherwise it's hard to tell the man is in pain at all.

Vau stares at him for a moment. Three-Eight forces himself to hold eye contact. "That's enough Delta." Vau says. Somehow his crisp enunciated way of speaking is still there. "Pack it in."

"Yes Sir." Delta choruses and '38 finally allows himself to look over at his squad mates. Sev's eyes dart from him to Vau in what Three-Eight knows is a desperate attempt to predict the man's next move. Four-Oh nods slightly relief echoing the same that Three-Eight is feeling.

Six-two tilts his chin up slightly. 'Boss' he mouths and Three-Eight snaps his eyes back to Vau. They don't have a squad sergeant yet and he doesn't want to accept a name like Boss if Vau selects Four-Oh instead. Or if the Kaminii decide that their squad cohesion isn't good enough and split Delta up.

Six-Two won't stop calling him that though, Sev even slips into it now and then.

Vau is already walking away which means the four of them are to head to their bunks get cleaned up and make it to the mess in time for late meal.

Six-two rattles his shoulder off Three-Eight's as they pull on the training armour they've been basically living in for the last year.

"Nice move Boss."

"We all learned it." Three-Eight hedges. He broke Walon Vau's arm.

"Think Vau will be mad?" Sev asks and Six-Two hesitates.

"Didn't seem mad." Four-Oh says and Three-Eight presses his lips together.

"He never seems mad." Six-Two says what they're all thinking in an undertone. "But he didn't seem… disappointed."

-

"Delta Three Eight." Walon Vau is back in front of Delta and Four other Squads, arms held behind his back. The bone-menders must have worked fast on him.

Three Eight steps forward, helmet under his am, staring straight ahead. "Yes Sir."

"You have been selected as Sergeant of Delta Squad. Your decisions will be a determining factor of whether your squad succeeds or fails. Don't let them down. Don't disappoint me."

"Sir Yes Sir." Three Eight salutes with his free hand but he can tell Vau is already looking elsewhere.

"Delta - Form up on your sergeant. the rest of you, make ready - we're doing combat simulations - debrief in two minutes."

Thirty-Eight releases the breath he hadn't realized he was holding and pulls his helmet on.

"Finally." Six-Two is saying over their squad com. "This time we'll beat Kappa Squad for sure, they've been holding Nine-Four being sergeant over everyone for a week."

"Nine-Four's the only one of them with any kind of tactical ability." Four Oh says "I'd say it wasn't much of a pick there."

His helmet tilts towards Three-Eight.

"Ready for briefing?"

"Yeah give the order Boss Man." Six-Two prompts and Three-Eight rolls his eyes.

"Delta Squad Form Up."

[spikes-got-anger-issues]

Here’s an interesting thought experiment. I was reading your post about the Commando app Beta 2.1 vs 3.1 debate and whether there was an Alpha app or a Beta 1.1. What if there was an Alpha app and Douglas tried it with Adam, the original bionic but it didn’t work right and caused some brain damage which is why Adam is like that? Douglas then realized that if he was going to put the Commando app in a bionic’s head that he needed to completely rewire their brain to be able to handle actually having information downloaded like a computer. By the time he realized this Bree was too far along so he turned his attention to the next subject. He made Chase more computer like and did a bunch of stuff that would allow Chase to handle actual changes to his brain from outside influences. It’s why Chase has the Commando and override app. The other two can’t have actual apps in their heads like that because they weren’t created to handle things like that.

Yayyy another person to talk about Spike/the Commando App with!!

And this is such an interesting thought that I love!! These are all great connecting ideas too, the idea that Chase has these apps because he has a computer in his mind to process and handle it all unlike his siblings and not just because his main ability is super intelligence. After all, he does have more room for upgrades than his siblings. I love this idea!

I do wonder though if after Douglas were to hypothetically do this he went and gave Adam and Bree some from of compatibility to their chips since Chase can connect to them essentially through bluetooth. But him having the computer not only for his intelligence but also for his apps and to process the use and control of these apps alongside his normal brain is really something to think about. Not only that, but he does have a bunch of wiring inside his head and a bunch of different scanners from his bionic eyes that are also linked to his computer system too (identifying people, fingerprint scanning, etc.)

And with the Commando App, we see that in both versions, especially the first one we see in 1x03, that there is a bunch of coding that appears during the activation and deactivation of the app. This almost seems to imply too that the app truly is still not 100% complete, which matches with the Beta version we see.

We also see that the Commando App has an entire targeting system connected to Spike's vision. In the first version this comes in the form of Spike scanning the threat's face before completely locking onto the target as an "imminent threat."

In the second version, this just comes in the form of a literal target being in Spike's vision. He also has a gauge that measures his aggression level, which obviously varies for him. Not only that, but on the right side of Spike's vision he has gauges to measure speed and visibility presumably of his target, which is kind of scary lol.

A mystery however is why does the chip interrupter not only not work on the Commando App, but instead makes Spike more aggressive? It most likely has something to do with affecting the computer system in Chase. Maybe it doesn't work because Spike is an app and is potentially more linked to the computer in Chase than his chip? Is it just a glitch in general? Is Spike's aggression increase also a glitch or is it a defense mechanism against an outside influence? Who knows!

One last thing to note is the fact that after Spike takes a hard hit from Perry, it actually causes an error in Chase's computer system and glitches the Commando App out and forces it to disengage. Maybe this is something that would "naturally" happen or this is another example of the incomplete app being unstable (because one would imagine that this caliber of app and its purpose of fighting shouldn't be able to glitch out and shut down after a hard hit)

Another intriguing thought is that a few of Chase's abilities are apps but are considered "abilities" like the Commado App or his Magnetism App, if that makes sense. Some of his "abilities" are directly related to his computer system as apps compared to his normal "abilities" like his laser bo or forcefield. I just thought that that was interesting to point out because I never really realized that until now!

There's a lot to think about with this, and since we were never meant to dive this deep into because it's a Disney XD show, there's a lot to play around with!

[jhsharman]

Frozen Out

A little bit more of Veronica's panties get flashed in later panels, so we will get more contrast on white versus red. But for this story the question is -- did Overstreet get this to an inflated price and notation for the panel where... uh... Veronica's not wearing underwear?

Reposting from the initial comments when I initially posted the panel --

Though I realize this is not possible anymore -- I want to get Victor Gorelick, Dan Decarlo, Barry Grossman, and the censor board of the Comics Code Authority of the time into a room and ask them -- who did and who did not do what to produce this panty-less Veronica Lodge? I am going to assume, until given evidence otherwise, that Frank Doyle was not in on it.

And actually, from what I have read, the Comics Code Authority through its final couple decades of impotence was just some low level staff at Archie Comics, the famously clean and non prurient company. So that may explain the final step in the mystery.

On the question of why we have a story where Veronica is slipping and sliding on the ice, creating multiple panels of her flashing her panties -- the reason is because this is usually the domain of Melody in the Josie comics, and at this point in time the company is producing one five page Josie story every other month, with main focus on the Pussycats band.

And now I need to redo the link at the "animation goofs" post.

[ct14o9]

i forget often that the batch are clone commandos and if they didn't have genetic enhancements they'd be wearing those big ass katarn helmets with the neon visors

[twistedpink]

nsfw below the cut! 2 1

The format is Character/Length (in inches)/Bedroom Skill

Rook Hunt - 4 - 6/10

-His only sexual education is very much “Rabbits make more rabbits” but his romance is to die for!!! You won’t even have to ask to be indulged- all you have to do is say yes :)

-Rook is astonishingly well groomed for someone who works on their feet. The spare hours of self care he gets between his beauty sleep and people watching does wonders for any sport-stenches (I mean, unless you’re into that kind of thing). He’s always doing something with the “presentation of his undercarriage”, and isn’t afraid to let you cop a feel in public!

-He’s all about experimentation with your pleasure, and it’s not that he refuses online resources, but isn’t it so much better naturally? Where’s the sense of adventure if some stranger on the internet is telling you where to touch him? After lots, (loads, really) of trial and error, he’s sure you’ll get a sense of rhythm. It’s never too early to start exploring!

Idia Shroud - 7 - 3/10

-Everyone can agree that Idia is too big for his own good. Massive, really- And he hates it. He’s been perma banned from the most comfortable thing on earth! How’s he supposed to enjoy going commando when his tip’s out in the open??

-He does NOT know how to use the monster in his pants, but he’s not objecting to a teacher :) When you first start getting “active” he’s painfully professional about it. No eye contact, no problem! You’ll wear him down eventually, but it’ll take awhile for anything truly intimate,,

-The worst thing about sex with Idia is the need. White-hot and throbbing, but so infrequent!! His libido is SO high, always pawing at you after school, but he can’t hold back for the life of him :/ Ten full minutes of rest for another three of penetration? Oh no, your only option is to overestimate him,, whatever shall he dooooo

Malleus Draconia - 3 - 7/10

-Two words. FUCKIN MARATHONS!! Malleus is comically bad at anything sexual- and you’re the one who has to initiate most things, but he can go hours without any pain between the two of you! And the AFTERCARE?? 10/10. Imagine playing with his scales while you wait on breakfast in bed <333

-Malleus is far too big for any usual quicky spots, but nobody can compete in forced proximity! It’s so easy to drag him into a broom closet between classes- Everyone avoids him anyways, and because he very rarely slouches he has to in the confines of your rendezvous, so it’s a completely new angle!

-He’s a little (lot) inexperienced, but he’s learning so much with your help! Nobody questions that he keeps his nails short or demands chapstick whenever he recalls the time, because nobody questions Malleus Draconia. He’d like very much for you to change that- order him around, kiss him bloody! So long as it’s you he’ll be happy :)

Lilia Vanrouge - 5 - 8/10

-Lilia’s a believer of “it’s the motion of the ocean - not the size of the wave”, and he KNOWS his ass has motion. All these years working on his core and arms only to be reduced to some petty slut :/ It’s all he’s ever wanted!

-Doesn’t bother shaving, nothing on him grows quickly enough for regular maintenance, and that does include his sex drive :( He wakes up sweaty and shaking whenever he ignores his rarer urges, but he’s lucky enough to have you! You’ll indulge him for a little biting, won’t you? Not his fault if you want more,,

-He’s a MASSIVE whiner, but he knows you loveeee it <3 All these years muffling his voice for colleagues and kids, it’s a miracle to have soundproof walls! With his little bouts of energy, you won’t be leaving bed anytime soon- lay back and let him cook for you! Or maybe you’d rather he just eat?

(no full proofread until tmr, we die like Malleanor)

[ramp-it-up]

Baby Cakes & Tough Guy

Summary: You co-own Baby Cakes Bakery with your bestie Monica Rambeau, direct competition for the Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson owned Howling Commando Baked Goods. And now you are competing head to head in The Best in Brooklyn Bake-Off. You're sugar, spice and everything nice and Bucky is... Grumpy. Can you sweeten him up, or is he going to make you into a sour puss?

Word count: 5.3K

Pairing: Baker!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Reader;

Sam Wilson x reader, & Monica Rambeau x reader (platonic)

A/N: This is inspired by the #BuckyBarnesBirthdayBingo by @avengers-assemble-bingo. This fulfills the square: Bakery AU, and has completed my card. I don't know if you could tell, but I have had an absolute BALL with these prompts. And this one was especially fun. Let me know what you think! Please reblog, comment, and like!

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. All errors my own. Angst. Grumpy Bucky, rustic baking, baking competition, mutual pining, rivalries, undeniable chemistry, Bucky’s an ass, but he makes up for it, oral (m/f receiving), sloppy blow job, praise kink, nipple play, orgasm denial, raw p-in-v, creampie, reference to eating the groceries, possessive Bucky. 😁

I do not have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

-----

The first time you ever saw Bucky Barnes, he was scowling at a sack of flour like it personally offended him.

You adjusted your Baby Cakes apron and bit back a laugh.

“This is gonna be fun,” you murmured as you set up your station in The Best in Brooklyn Bake-Off tent in Prospect Park.

“Fun?” 

Monica snorted from beside you. 

“Babe, this is war. Do you even know who that is?”

You glanced over at the very grumpy man two stations down. His broad shoulders strained against a black apron that read Tough Guy, and his arms were crossed like he’d rather be anywhere but here. His biceps popped as he folded them tighter. 

Damn. 

And then his sharp blue eyes flicked to yours. You definitely got caught staring. Bucky’s scowl deepened and you suppressed the urge to stick out your tongue.

“Should I?” you asked Monica, arching a brow.

She leaned in conspiratorially. 

“That’s Bucky Barnes. Co-owner of Howling Commandos Baked Goods. And you know they’ve been stealing our customers with their ‘no-frills, real-deal, rustic baking’ nonsense.”

You rolled your eyes. 

“Oh no. Not rustic baking,” you mocked.

“I’m serious!” 

Monica flapped a hand. 

“Foodie blogs won’t shut up about them. And he and his partner, Sam Wilson, act like they’re too cool for anything frilly.” 

She air-quoted dramatically. 

“AKA us.”

You shrugged. 

“Guess we’ll have to prove them wrong.”

But as you turned back to your ingredients, you felt it, that distinct sensation of being watched. And when you glanced up again, Bucky was still looking. 

Not just looking, but assessing. 

Outright staring.

Then, at the last second, his mouth quirked in the faintest smirk. A silent challenge.

Your stomach flipped. 

Yes. This was going to be interesting.

—

Bucky was already regretting this.

The second Sam convinced him to sign up for this competition, he knew it was a mistake.

"Dude, it’s good exposure. Plus, imagine the free marketing when we crush everyone else."

Bucky had reluctantly agreed. But now, standing in this tent, surrounded by pastel-colored mixing bowls and way too much cheerfulness, he was rethinking everything.

Especially when he saw you.

You.

You, with your too-bright smile and sugar-dusted cheeks.

You, adjusting your apron, hands moving with the ease of someone who loved this. 

You, already chatting with the other contestants, laughing like this was a Saturday morning bake sale instead of a competition.

And the worst part?

You were good.

He hadn’t tasted a single thing you’d made yet, but he could tell.

By the way that you measured your ingredients with confidence.

By the way you scanned your recipe, fully in control. 

By the way you smiled like baking was fun.

Sam elbowed him.

“Dude. You’re staring.”

Bucky grunted. 

“Sizing up the competition.”

“Yeah? Or are you just into her?”

Bucky fixed Sam with a glare.

“She’s the enemy.”

“If that’s what you need to tell yourself,” Sam snorted.

Bucky clenched his jaw and turned back to his station.

This was just a competition.

Nothing more.

—

You never expected this when you signed up for The Best in Brooklyn Bake-Off.

Stress? Absolutely.

Flour in your hair? Without a doubt.

A full-blown panic attack over an underbaked sponge cake? Practically guaranteed.

But Bucky Barnes?

Never in a million years.

And yet, there he was, the grumpiest, scowliest contestant in the history of televised baking.

"Are you serious?" he muttered, watching as you carefully piped pink buttercream onto your cupcakes.

You glanced up, blinking adorably up at him.

"What?"

He jerked a thumb at your apron, enjoying the view as he eyed the logo printed across your breasts. 

"Baby Cakes."

You flashed a proud grin. 

"That’s our bakery."

His scowl deepened. He already knew that. He was there for your introduction.

Of course, you would own a place called Baby Cakes, a bright, pastel-colored bakery specializing in mini cupcakes and love-themed treats. It was the exact opposite of his and Sam’s Howling Commandos Baked Goods, where everything was dark wood, bold flavors, and exactly zero sprinkles.

"Figures," he muttered.

Bucky told himself he didn’t like the way you smile. That the sound of your laugh wasn’t cute as hell. 

And that was a problem because every time you smiled at him, it got that much harder to pretend he didn’t love it. And every time you laughed, it became difficult as hell to not laugh with you.

And the way you looked. He took the opportunity to appreciate your generous curves, and the way your thick curls hid your cute as a candy button face as you were concentrating on what you were doing.

The thought popped into his head that wanted to taste you.

Where did that come from?

He cleared his throat as you finished piping, straightened up, and extended your hand. Bucky hesitated, then took it grudgingly. 

Your name rolled easily off your tongue, warm and inviting. He uttered his in return, then slowly extracted his hand, swiping the bit of frosting you left behind onto his finger.

And then, he licked it off.

You shouldn’t have found messy hands sexy. But watching Bucky Barnes taste your buttercream, his tongue swiping slowly over his fingertip? 

Yeah. That definitely did something to you.

You let out a small hum before you stopped yourself.

Or was that a moan?

His blue eyes flicked up, knowing, teasing, and challenging you.

"Way too much sugar," he muttered, backing away as he took note of your dilated eyes.

He thought about your reaction to him and almost tripped over Sam while trying to look cool. You bit your lip to hold back your laughter as he stormed back to his station, looking like an actual thundercloud.

Sam clapped him on the shoulder, shaking his head. 

"Man, you’re screwed."

And for the first time in his life, Bucky wondered if maybe Sam was right.

—----

Day after day, you and Bucky clashed.

He rolled his eyes at your sprinkles. You teased him about his obsession with “serious” baking. 

But somewhere between the macaron challenge and the lightning round, something shifted.

One night, after a particularly brutal bread challenge, you found yourselves alone in the kitchen. The others had gone, but you were still cleaning up when Bucky leaned against the counter, watching you.

“You surprised me today,” he said gruffly.

You glanced over at him, raising a brow. 

“Because I made a decent brioche?”

He smirked, just a little. 

“Because you didn’t let the stress get to you.”

You scoffed. 

“I did cry a little behind the fridge.”

That almost-smirk softened into something dangerously close to a smile. And you almost swooned at how handsome he was.

“You care about this. That’s… kinda cool.”

Your heart did a funny little flip.

Bucky should have walked away. Should’ve ignored the way you looked at him like he wasn’t the grumpiest asshole in the tent. 

But he didn’t. Instead, he reached out, swiping a bit of frosting from your wrist.

“Lemon?” he guessed.

“Vanilla bean with a hint of lime,” you corrected.

He licked it off his finger, his blue eyes never leaving yours. You grew warm as you noted the twinkle in those true blue eyes. 

You began to wonder if he did it on purpose, if he knew how it affected you last time.

He nodded.

“Not bad, Baby Cakes.”

And just like that, you knew that maybe grumpy, scowly Bucky Barnes wasn’t such a tough guy after all.

——-

By the fifth day of the competition, tensions were high.

And not just the who’s-going-to-win-the-grand-prize kind of tension. 

No.

This was something else. Something hotter.

Which is why, when you snuck into the kitchen after hours to squeeze in some extra practice, you weren’t even surprised to find Bucky Barnes already there, leaning against the counter, arms crossed, his black apron slung over his shoulder like he owned the place.

“Seriously?” you sighed, setting down your mixing bowl.  “You couldn’t pick another time to lurk in the shadows like some kind of kitchen goblin?”

The corner of his mouth twitched, the closest thing to a smile you’d gotten from him all week.

“Funny. I was about to say the same thing to you.”

You rolled your eyes and grabbed a whisk. 

“Well, I was here first.”

“No, you weren’t.”

You huffed. “I was in spirit.”

That did it. 

Bucky let out something suspiciously close to a laugh, a low, raspy sound that sent an unexpected shiver down your spine. Shaking it off, you started working, pouring flour into a bowl and focusing on your batter. 

Or at least, you tried to.

But you could feel his eyes on you, staring at you intently. After a few minutes, you glanced up, exasperated. 

“What?”

“I didn’t peg you for the burning-the-midnight-oil-so-you-can-win-the-competition kind of intense.”

"I’m not usually," you admitted, nudging a stray bit of flour with your foot. 

"Just… nerves, I guess."

He pushed off the counter and strolled over to you.

"You’re gonna dominate this competition, Baby Cakes. You’re good.”

You blinked. Did Bucky Barnes, the king of scowls, just compliment you?

Your brow furrowed. 

“Is this some kind of mind game? Because if it is, I’m not falling for it, Tough Guy.”

He shrugged, and this time, he smiled. A real one. Just a flicker, but enough to make your pulse trip.

“No games. Just calling it like I see it.”

You were incredulous.

“You do know I’m your biggest competition, right?"

"Yeah.” His eyes searched your face.  “And I still meant it."

Something in your chest tightened. And it was bad. Really bad. Because for the first time since this competition started, you weren’t sure if you wanted to beat Bucky Barnes.

Or kiss him.

You mentally rattled off all the reasons why that was a terrible idea, but before you could get through them, his voice cut through your thoughts.

“I can hear your brain going, you know.”

You gasped, half-thinking he could actually read your mind.

“You’re an over thinker,” he said, quiet but certain, like he already knew you.

“And your worst habit is scowling at my cupcakes like you're judging them,” you teased, desperate to steer the conversation somewhere safer.

Bucky laughed again. 

“I am judging. Too much frosting.”

You were ready to fire back, but the moment your eyes locked, the words caught in your throat. The dim kitchen light softened him. Made him look less guarded, more real. His sharp blue gaze flicked over your face, lingering on your lips just a second too long.

The air between you shifted, heavier than before. The only sound was the faint hum of the refrigerators and your own heartbeat pounding way too fast.

You gaped at him. 

"Well, you!... I mean, do you, um…,"  

You cleared your throat and looked around at everything else in the tent except Bucky.

"You have a favorite moment from the bake off so far?"

Bucky studied you for a beat, then smirked. He was making you uncomfortable. How interesting. He wasn't alone in this infatuation.

"Yeah."

You waited, expecting him to say something about his caramel tarts or his perfect sourdough. Instead, he took a step closer.

"It was the first day," he murmured. 

"When you walked in with that ridiculous pink apron and told the judges your bakery was called Baby Cakes. I remember thinking…" 

He shook his head. 

"Damn. I’m in trouble."

Your breath hitched.

"Bucky…"

But before you could say anything, before you could do anything, he stepped back, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets.

"Night, Baby Cakes," he said, his voice rough.

And just like that, he walked away, leaving you standing there, your heart racing, brain spinning, completely and utterly ruined for him.

—

After that night, everything between you and Bucky changed. You still bickered. Oh, did you bicker. But now every jab carried a tension that coiled tighter with every glance.

"Too much sugar, Baby Cakes," he mumbled during the pastry challenge, his voice low as his sharp eyes raked over your cherry almond tart with disdain.

"Too much salt, Tough Guy," you fired back, swiping a taste of his dark chocolate sea salt ganache before he could stop you.

He froze as you licked the spoon clean, your tongue sliding across the curve with deliberate precision. His eyes darkened, his jaw tightening as if he was wrestling with something he couldn’t name.

Oh.

“That’s debatable,” he finally managed, though his voice came out rough, almost strained.

You smiled, thinking you might have a lot power.

And then came the announcement that made your stomach flip. The dreaded Team Challenge.

"You’ve got to be kidding me," Bucky groaned when the producers called your names together.

"Oh, come on," you teased, bumping his arm with a grin you hoped looked more confident than you felt. "You’re gonna love working with me."

"Doubt it," he grumbled, but the twitch at the corner of his mouth betrayed him.

The challenge? A three-tiered wedding cake, elegant and sophisticated. 

A perfect harmony of flavors, the producers said. In reality, it felt like a recipe for disaster.

Your styles clashed like oil and water. You craved delicate piping and romantic floral details; Bucky wanted bold flavors and sharp, clean lines. 

Hearts versus hands. 

Sugar versus salt.

But somewhere between rolling fondant and whipping buttercream, something shifted. 

He steadied your hands when your piping wavered, his warm fingers brushing yours just a little longer than necessary. You softened his scowls with quick jokes, your laughter breaking through the walls he tried to keep firmly in place. 

You moved like you’d been baking together for years, finding a rhythm that felt natural.

When the final timer buzzed, you both stepped back, staring at your creation in awe.

Three tiers of vanilla bean sponge cake, layered with a tart blackberry compote and tangy lemon curd, wrapped in pristine white fondant. Gold dust kissed the edges, while delicate sugar roses cascaded down the sides like a fairytale.

It wasn’t just good. It was breathtaking.

For the first time, Bucky turned to you without his usual smirk or scowl.

“Nice work, Baby Cakes,” he murmured, his voice low.

“You too, Tough Guy,” you whispered, your heart racing at the way his eyes lingered on you.

The judges swooned, declaring it the best cake of the show. You and Bucky won the challenge.

Without thinking, Bucky picked you up, arms wrapped around your waist and spun you around. The broad smile on his face disappeared as you slid down his body back to the ground.

Both of you cleared your throats and went opposite ways out of the tent, as Monica and Sam shared a look.

Later that night, after the cameras stopped rolling, you found yourself outside by the catering table, sneaking an extra slice.

"Thought you’d be sick of it by now," Bucky said, leaning beside you, his presence close and warm in the cool night air.

"Never," you grinned, licking a dollop of frosting off your thumb before realizing how much attention he was paying to the movement.

“Although,” you added, suddenly self-conscious, “I should probably stop sampling the wares. My jeans are struggling.”

You looked away, cheeks warming, thinking about how you had to jump to put your jeans on, but when you glanced back, you caught him looking. Not just at you, but at your ass in your jeans.

“Looks like a productive struggle,” he muttered, his voice dropping into a husky timbre that made your pulse skip. “Don’t change a thing, Baby Cakes.”

Bucky licked his lips, his gaze trailing back to your mouth, and before you could process what was happening, his thumb brushed your lips, swiping away some frosting. 

And then he kissed you.

It wasn’t rushed or frantic. It was slow, deliberate, like he was savoring the moment, savoring the essence of you. Bucky tasted like buttercream and something more flavorful, something with more depth. Something like him. 

His lips moved against yours with knee-weakening confidence, one hand sliding to the small of your back, the other cradling your jaw. 

When you finally pulled away, breathless and dazed, you couldn’t stop yourself from murmuring, "Not bad."

He chuckled, his breath warm against your skin.

"Not bad at all."

The kiss felt like magic, like folding sugar into butter, like the perfect meringue gaining its peaks. But then reality came crashing back.

“Well, well, well!”

You and Bucky sprang apart, both turning to see Monica standing there, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"Uh," you stammered, feeling your stomach drop.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at Monica.

"So, are you two, like, together-together?" Monica asked, her tone dripping with amusement. 

"Or was this just a ‘we made a wedding cake and got caught up in the moment’ thing?"

Your mouth opened, but nothing came out. Bucky beat you to it.

"We’re not together," he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Ouch.

You fought to keep your expression neutral, but Monica’s raised brow told you she wasn’t buying it.

"Riiight," she drawled. "Well, if you were together, you’d make a killer duo. That cake? Best one I’ve had in a long time."

She sauntered off, leaving you standing there, cheeks burning and heart pounding for all the wrong reasons.

"Listen, Baby Cakes," Bucky started, his voice tight, but you held up a hand.

"Nope," you said quickly, your tone sharp. "It’s fine. We’re here to bake, not… whatever that was."

His jaw clenched, but he nodded stiffly. 

"Right. Baking. That’s what we’re here for."

Later, at the bar celebrating with the crew, you avoided him entirely, but you felt his eyes on you all night.

“Bucky’s over there looking like someone stole his candy thermometer.”

You glanced at him over your shoulder and found him watching you moodily. You rolled your eyes and turned back to your drink.

“He’ll be aight.”

Monica shook her head.

“Ya’ll are two hard heads, but that’s one of my business.” 

When Monica left you alone, you thought about what happened earlier. How embarrassed you were when Bucky denied anything between you. And now here he was, moping around because you wouldn’t speak to him.

Too bad, you thought bitterly. Bucky blew his chance. You weren’t about to let yourself get hurt again.

But deep down, you couldn’t shake the question: Why did that kiss feel like the start of something?

At first, Bucky told himself he’d dodged a bullet. You were too bubbly, too happy, too... everything he wasn’t. It would never have worked.

But as he watched you laugh with everyone else, refusing to look his way, something felt wrong.

Wrong like a cake that collapsed in the oven.

Wrong like he’d measured something incorrectly and couldn’t figure out what.

He saw it in your eyes.

In the way your shoulders stiffened when he denied anything between you.

In the way you brushed flour off your apron aggressively.

Bucky fucked up.

And now, all he could think about was how to fix it, because for the first time in years, he was craving a little sugar to balance his spice.

—-

The next morning, before filming started, Bucky found you in the prep kitchen, alone. You were at the counter, rolling out dough with a little too much force, your shoulders tight, your jaw clenched.

"That dough do something to offend you, Baby Cakes?" he asked, leaning against the counter, hoping the teasing tone would draw out the usual playful spark in your eyes.

But you didn’t look up.

"Just getting out some aggression," you muttered, your hands moving with sharp, angry precision.

Bucky exhaled, frustration building. He wanted to fix this. He wanted to be better at saying the right thing, but years of being tough and closed-off made it hard for the words to come.

So he said nothing.

Instead, he did what he knew best.

He baked.

When he came back to himself, baking became his real therapy. A time and space for him to really work out all that he had seen and done.

A chance to create instead of destroy.

Silently, he worked at the station next to yours, kneading dough, measuring ingredients, and whisking with deliberate care. You pretended not to notice, but as the warm scent of cinnamon, vanilla, and caramel began to fill the air, it became impossible to ignore.

Finally, he slid a small plate toward you, a delicate pastry, golden brown and still warm.

"What’s this?" you asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Sticky bun," he said, shifting on his feet. "Made it the way you like. Soft in the middle. Extra pecans."

How did he know that? Monica.

Your lips pressed together, but the flicker of interest in your eyes gave you away. He'd done his research on you. Breaking off a piece, you popped it into your mouth, and immediately sighed.

It was perfect. Gooey and rich, sweet but balanced.

"Okay," you admitted, trying to keep your tone neutral.

"This is dangerously good."

Bucky’s lips curved into a small, tentative smile as he watched you eat.

"I was an ass yesterday," he said softly, his voice low and rough.

"I didn’t mean to… Look, I panicked. I wasn’t trying to hurt you."

You put the sticky bun down and turned to face him fully, meeting his eyes with a steady gaze.

"Then what were you trying to do?"

His tongue swept over his bottom lip, his brows furrowing like he was weighing each word carefully.

"I guess I thought if I said it out loud, it’d be easier to ignore how much I want you," he confessed, his voice raw and unguarded.

"Didn’t work."

Your stomach flipped. You swallowed, suddenly too aware of how close he was standing, of the heat radiating from his body. Of how he seemed to be holding himself back at the moment.

"You want me," you said slowly, almost testing the words.

Bucky nodded, his gaze unwavering.

"Yeah. And I know I’ve gotta prove it now. Because I fucked up.”

His blue, blue eyes shone with sincerity. And something else.

“I fumbled a beautiful, talented, sexy woman like you."

You let the silence stretch, let him sweat a little. Then, with deliberate slowness, you broke off another piece of the sticky bun and pressed it to his lips.

For a moment, he hesitated. Then, he opened his mouth, taking the bite, and sucking the tips of your fingers into his mouth and licking between them as he did, eyes on you the entire time. The gentle pull of his lips sent a thrill down your spine. And the vulgar promise of his tongue had heat pooling low in your belly. 

Your nipples hardened, and a fresh wave of arousal swept through you, dampening your panties.

"G-good start," you murmured, your voice husky. "But it’s just a start."

A slow, wicked smirk tugged at his lips at your stutter.

"Then I guess I’ll just have to keep sweetening you up," he drawled, the heat in his gaze making it clear he wasn’t just talking about baking.

But you weren’t letting him off the hook that easily. For the rest of the day, you kept your distance, not too far, but far enough to make him feel it. Enough to make him yearn for you.

Bucky turned into an absolute softie, sneaking you little treats between takes, making sure you had the good whisk before grabbing his own, brushing a hand against your lower back, warm finger splayed wide, when he passed behind you, murmuring a low "behind" that sent shivers racing across your skin.

Monica noticed, of course.

"You’re making him work for it," she said approvingly as she piled buttercream onto a tray of cupcakes.

"I’m not–"

She shot you a knowing look. "Girl, please."

Fine. Maybe you were. Maybe you liked watching Bucky struggle his way through this. Maybe you liked seeing the grumpiest man in the competition try to charm you with sugar, spice, and smoldering glances that left your pulse skipping.

They announced you as winner of the competition and Bucky inclined his head at you, a real smile on his face.

And that night, he took it a step further.

------

When you came back late to the brownstone after staying out with the others, you found something waiting for you on the kitchen counter.

A cake.

Not just any cake, your favorite. Fucking Monica.

It was carrot cake, three perfectly even layers of moist, spiced goodness, slathered with smooth cream cheese frosting. Tiny sugar pearls lined the edges, and an intricate sugar carrot sat on top.

You blinked, your heart skipping a beat.

Bucky stood off to the side, leaning against the counter, arms crossed, biceps popping. He was still in his apron, his face serious, but his blue eyes searched yours, a flicker of uncertainty behind them.

"Took me all damn night," he said gruffly.

You stepped closer, still processing.

"You made this?"

His jaw ticked, like he was bracing for impact.

"Had some help from Sam," he admitted.

A loud snort came from the doorway.

"Some help? Try a lot," Sam called as he trudged up the stairs. 

"Give him a break, Baby Cakes, so he can stop behaving like a lovesick idiot every time you walk into, or out of a room. Or basically all the time."

Bucky ignored him, his attention fixed on you.

"Lovesick?" you asked softly, your voice barely audible.

He sighed, rubbing a hand down the back of his neck.

“Yeah. I uhhh…”

Bucky looked so cute in that moment, the most vulnerable you’d seen him.

"I need you to know that I see you," he said, his voice low and steady.

"I see how much heart you put into your baking. How much you care about this, about everything." 

He paused, his Adam’s apple bobbing. 

"And I see that I hurt you, and I hate that."

You stared at him, at the raw emotion in his eyes. Slowly, you picked up a fork and took a bite of the cake.

It was perfect. Moist, spiced just right, and the frosting was tangy and smooth.

"Damn you," you muttered, your voice thick.

"That bad?" he asked, a flicker of amusement breaking through his tension.

"No," you huffed. "It’s amazing."

His lips twitched. "Good."

Setting the fork down, you stepped closer until there was barely an inch between you. His breath hitched as your hand pressed against his chest, the heat of him seeping into your palm.

"You really want this?" you murmured. "Us?"

Bucky didn’t hesitate.

"Yes," he said firmly, his voice steady. "I do."

Your fingers curled into his shirt, tugging him closer. He leaned in, and this time, when his lips found yours, it wasn’t gentle. It was fire, slow at first, then smoldering.

But then Bucky groaned against your mouth, a sound that sent shockwaves through you, and the heat increased. He kissed you like he’d been starving for it, like you were the only thing that could satisfy him.

You pulled him closer by his shirt and his hands slid past your waist, gripping your ass like he was grounding himself, like he was making sure this was real.

You broke the kiss just long enough to gasp, “Bucky,” but he swallowed whatever you were about to say, and lifted you onto the counter in one fluid motion.

You barely had time to register the cold marble beneath you before his hands were everywhere, skimming up your thighs, gripping your hips, and tracing fire along your skin. You hooked your legs around him, dragging him closer, until you could feel his hard cock in his jeans, letting you know just how much he wanted this, how much he wanted you.

“Your room or mine?” he rasped, his voice thick with need.

“Oh God…” 

You struggled to think through the haze of arousal clouding your mind. Your room at the back of the house was tucked away from everyone else. 

“Mine.”

Bucky kissed you again, his lips curling into a smirk. 

“Smart cookie.”

You giggled softly as he lifted you off the counter, and the two of you tried, and failed, to make it to your room quietly. By some miracle, you managed to shut the door before his hands were back on you.

"I've not been with anyone in over a year. Still get tested every six months."

Bucky's voice was sexy; what he was saying was even more so.

“But tell me to stop if you don’t want to do this,” he rasped against your neck. 

You tilted your head back, offering more. 

“Don’t you dare.”

A low growl rumbled from his chest as his mouth crashed back onto yours, his tongue sweeping past your lips with a hunger that left you breathless. His hands slipped beneath your shirt, fingertips skimming your tight nipples and drawing shivers in their wake.

He pulled back just enough to lift the hem of your shirt, his blue eyes searching yours. 

“Can I?”

You nodded, but he shook his head, his jaw tight. 

“Need you to say it.”

You stepped back, peeling your shirt off yourself, a teasing grin on your lips. 

“How’s that for consent? I want you tonight, Bucky Barnes. Got tested last month and I have an IUD. You can fuck me raw if you want.”

His breath hitched, his eyes darkening with raw, unfiltered desire. 

“Jesus,” he murmured, his hands spreading over you like he was memorizing the feel of you. “You’re perfect.”

His blue eyes glowed as he wrapped one hand around your neck, his thumb resting on your pulse point, making your heart flutter. 

You lifted his shirt and ran your fingers over his stomach and abs, exploring his warm skin as the kiss intensified even more. 

You reached for his shirt, sliding it up to reveal taut muscle and smooth skin. Your hands explored him, tracing the lines of his stomach as the kiss deepened.

You were aching for him. 

When his mouth moved lower, tracing hot kisses down your neck and between your collarbones, a soft moan escaped you. He didn’t stop there, his lips finding your nipples through the lace of your bra. The wet heat of his tongue teased you mercilessly until he unhooked the clasp.

“Bucky,” you gasped, your pussy clenching as his lips closed around your bare nipple. He suckled urgently, his hand massaging the other, and the pleasure shot straight to your core.

When he knelt in front of you, tugging your jeans and panties down, you gasped as you looked down into his shining blue eyes.

You stepped out of them and almost immediately, and he used his thumbs to spread your pussy lips open. He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to you there.

“Been waiting to taste you, Baby Cakes,” he said, his voice a low rasp.

“Oh, fuck,” you mewled as his tongue parted your folds, licking a slow, deliberate stripe up your slit.

Bucky lifted one leg onto his shoulder and you arched against his mouth, gasping when he laved your clit and licked up the wetness collected in your slit.

“Mmmmm. Delicious,” Bucky’s eyes glinted up at you.

He groaned in satisfaction.

“Sweet, with just a hint of spice… just like I thought.”

You pushed Bucky’s head back to where it was meant be.

“Stop talking and eat me, Barnes.”

His chuckle vibrated against you, and then his tongue found your clit, sending a sharp spike of pleasure through your body. He licked and sucked, working you like it was his life’s purpose, and every flick of his tongue pushed you closer to the edge.

“Fuck, Bucky, I’m gonna…”

But he pulled back before you could finish, leaving you trembling and desperate. You barely had time to protest before he stood, kissed you hard, and moved you to the foot of the bed.

Clothes hit the floor in a blur, and when you finally looked down, his cock stood proudly between you. You sat down on the bed, and you were face to face with the most beautiful penis you’d ever seen.

It was long and thick and heavily veined with a large perfectly shaped head. Your mouth watered, and you looked up at him.

“Need to taste you now, Tough Guy.”

You leaned forward and licked him from base to head stopping to suck on it, relishing the tight flesh in your mouth, then slurped the pre-cum dripping from his slit. Then you pulled off, jacking him with the lubrication of your saliva.

“Tangy, yet surprisingly sweet. A piquant–”

Bucky cut you off by shoving his cock as far down your throat as he could. You moaned around him, adding to his pleasure. 

You looked up at him and his eyes were incandescent. You didn’t break eye contact as your throat constricted around his hardness, your mouth dripping with spit. Your eyes stung with tears, but you kept pushing until you were choking around the base of his big dick.

Bucky watched you with fascination, his hips involuntarily pushing shallowly into your mouth. 

“Christ. You’re gonna fucking ruin me,” he rasped. “So good. So perfect. But I knew you would be.”

You moaned at the praise, pulling off of him, long strings of fluid connecting your mouth to his delicious cock.

“Who knew that Baby Cakes was such a Dirty Girl,” he purred, eyes ablaze.  “Need to fuck you now, sweetheart.” 

You whimpered and leaned back as Bucky leaned over you and slid into you in one slow, deliberate thrust. You swore the world stopped spinning.

“Fuck, Baby…” 

His forehead dropped to yours, his voice trembling as he filled you slowly, completely. Your body arched, your nails digging into his shoulders as you reacted to the stretch.

“Bucky…”

“Look at me,” he murmured, his gaze locking with yours.

“Wanna see you.”

And then he moved, each thrust hitting you perfectly, dragging moans from your lips. After finding the technique to make you crumble around him, his control slipped, his movements grew frantic, desperate, and it was heaven.

“You’re mine,” he growled, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise. “Say it.”

“Yours,” you gasped, your body tightening around him. “Always.”

Your climax hit like a tidal wave, pulling you under. Bucky followed with a ragged groan, burying himself deep as he spilled into you.

When the world settled, he pressed a lazy kiss to your jaw, a smug grin tugging at his lips.

“Told you I’d win… you over.”

You huffed a breathless laugh, running your fingers through his damp curls.

“Asshole.”

His grin widened.

“Is that what you want me to taste next?”

His eyes flicked down your body.

“Seems to be lots of buttercream down there…”

“Bucky!” you yelped as he reached for you again.

—-

Did you like it? Let me know!

[ryansosilly]

I just had to check to see if you were chill like that!!1! Some people only do scrawny petite bottom reader 😒

anyways may I request some headcanons with a big buff male reader, like taller than ghost so everyone thinks he’s a dom but he’s actually a subtop, please and thank you 🙏 feel free to do any characters you’d like but I’d really appreciate if you included Makarov or Keegan :3

sincerely, 🩻 anon

i am such a sucker for big buff subtops you guys don't even know how deep that shi goes in my brain. Even have a whole ass big buff cod oc that I'm itching to draw more about 😞 thank you so much 🩻 anon for this blessing of a request!

I've decided to do headcanons for those characters, in order:

All of Task force (Price, Gaz, Ghost, Roach and Soap)

The 'Famous Kortac' chars (Krueger, König, Nikto and Horangi)

The ' questionable but if drunk enough I'd let em hit it' (Makarov, Graves, Alejandro and bonus of Keegan)

If you want more characters than that, you outta specify but trust me I am VERY much into writing much longer headcanons and with a lot more characters. So the more the merrier! I'm going to part them by sections in the following order above!

I tried to make it make sense for both if you're a part of the team AND if you're just a civilian so you don't feel forced into anything. No specifics used for the reader other than the fact they're big buff and a submissive top just as the anon requested! You can look like anything, here, I'll NEVER use such descriptors!! This is for EVERYONE regardless of race, weight, eye colour, age (as long as 18+) and allat bullshit.

Task Force

Captain John Price

Hasn't had any experience before with another man. I'm DEFINITELY certain he has fucking grinder on that ancient Nokia of his. He definitely called himself a bear a couple times as a joke but never went on a date or tried anything. So for his first experience with a guy to be a big buff man? Yeah good luck buddy. Poor Man was struggling for a while, it took a lot of trial and error if you know what I mean for him to find out what actually worked and what he liked.

Low-key bruh? He was kinda intimidated at first. A bit ashamed and even his pretty damn secure masculinity took a hit he barely recovered from. Luckily, just being picked up and craddled like a god damn no weight damsel in distress had him already ready to go back with no thoughts of shame and regret.

What DEFINITELY helped was how he basically saw you like a big puppy wolf without the 'bad' part. Yes, you were an outstanding soldier (if you are in the military) that was for sure but when he told you to sit, you sat your ass DOWN!!! the obedience you gave him with just enough 'dom' in you to fuck him good enough to leave him dizzy after that was exactly what he needed in his life

Easy to say that ever since you two started dating, he has had a de-stress 'funtime' very often that everyone noticed.

He isn't too kinky of a guy tbh. But......sommeetimmeesss maaybee he'd be willing to pull a collar with his name on you. Not full on petplay or anything. He just liked seeing it above him, maybe with a complimentary leash to pull on if you went too hard for his liking.

He has an above average libido, which only applies to his relationship with you. It slowed down and calmed with time but for the first time and the next much after, he was a BEAST (and had the hair to back it up)

He joked that you brought the size of the big bad wolf and he brought the 'bad and hair' to the table so you were basically complete.

Ghost was the grandma and Soap and Gaz were both the red riding hood. (They argued about it)

His FAVOURITE part isn't just you being on the more submissive part tho. It's actually the comfortable hugs you provide. And the fact you let him give you just as much comfort. It felt very peaceful, he respected the equality you had between each other that despite the differences, you were definitely equals. (Not so much when he is in commando mode on the battlefield but that is NO foreplay little games)

If I were to be completely honest, he ain't that much into doing it in public like I've seen him being written. He wouldn't do it on his desk that's for sure. And if you suggested that? He'll slap the living shit out of you and bring your tallass to your KNEES to apologise. Then maybe he'll feel bad and PERCHANCE let you hit it as long as there's no paperwork there.

What he will do? Maybe would give you some support from under the desk but of course. It's only okay if your desk. If not? Then you gotta be down on your knees. He isn't much of a giver but definitely a taker.

He has a shirt called "old men yaoi" that he was given by Soap. Did you ever explain to him what that means and why he shouldn't wear it when In meetings?..

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Oh Gaz was a mess. He hasn't even THOUGHT about dating a man before..i mean yeah sure maybe he did THINK of looking up some gay porn from time to time but it couldn't possibly mean anything, right? Yeah he was a boykisser full and through. Then he was wondering why his relationship with women rarely worked out. He was more a girl's girl than most girls were.

And that confusion lead him into your arms. And goodness me. That was a ride for sure! Haha get it? Ride. He rode you like a fucking bull when he got used to the feelings. He was an UNSTOPPABLE force once he got comfortable.

I don't really think he was as insecure outwardly, he didn't feel ashamed to be out with you because he loved you very very much so and he didnt see shame in that. Only a little inside doubts he dared not share. Maybe a tiny bit of internalised homophobia.

For a while, he was growing a lot more doubtful that he tried to fit the stereoptupical 'feminine' role before you two had even started having sex. You were masc so he was supposed to be fem even if he didn't feel like it, yeah? That did not work out. A lot of victims (people eating burnt food) and sacrifices ( burnt kitchen and kitchen appliances) fell tragically due to those attempts..

You had to sit him down and explain to him everything. Once that little misunderstanding was out of the way and mostly his mind, the real fun for him began. Due to how big you were, he decided it was no longer necessary for him to do most of the stupid chores around, so, he just told you around with such nice sweet words like 'Honey, can you please carry the trash out for me?'

The trash was not even half his size and even in your hands but he just didn't feel like it and really liked seeing your muscles flex when you picked something up.

Sometimes he even purposely made things a bit HARDER for you to pick up. Like putting extra weights on your pole when you were lifting at the gym when you weren't looking, like sometimes even attempting to do that couple thing of 'sitting on your back' while you were doing pushups.

Lord have mercy on his soul when you actually managed to do a decent set of pushups with him on your back??? Yeah you were set for LIFE.

He was more of a switch when it came to bring dominant or submissive. He didn't mind anything as long as it was with you. He did get a kick out of being the Dom so he did lean on it most of the time. He felt a little confused how a person who fucks him senselessly can be so submissive but let me tell you. He QUICKLY got the hand of it and used it well

He wasn't too freaky at the start either. In fact, he barely had any libido for a while, taking a bit of time to accept everything. Once he accepted he, he fell off the deep end. He decided to do the fatal mistake of looking up stuff about gay sex to make himself understand everything better and to possibly even impress you during your first time together. And uh..oh.. um. He fell right down the trap of bsdm. There was no going back. Some still did disgust him. Like for example, there was no fucking petplay, not even a tiny element of it. You were on an equal footing. What there was a lot of? Handcuffs, bondage, scratching and biting. Yeah all of that was in. He still mostly leaned on wanting to try different positions like being fucked while being held up. He had done it before with a girl but for him to experience the 'girl' role? Was an eye opening experience..might as well call it a spiritual detour for him.

Your height and size did attract a lot more people than he would like it to. He finally understood why those girls acted like that in his past. Yeah you were definitely holding his hand whenever you went out. Bitches need to back the fuck OFF. He wasn't possessive to an unhealthy amount tho. Maybe only a little anxious and jealous but definitely keeping it real, he was an overall healthy individual to be in a relationship with once all of that doubt when away. He was in for the long run and you better be.

But if you fucking say something like "chocolate vanilla swirl" he will punch your teeth out.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

(I'm going specifically w Og Ghost for this one but due to how little we know about current reboot Ghost we might as well group them. There WILL be heavier topics discussed here in only this section due to how complex Ghost is. I am not going to water him down or romanticise his situation.)

⚠️Some trigger warnings: mentions of rape, sexual assault and his fear of intimacy. Basically keep in mind his fucking backstory when you read this section. If you do not think this will be suitable, I'll put a divider from when the possibly triggering part starts so you can skip it.

Ghost was bewildered. No fucking way. Absolutely not. There is NOTHING going up his.. ahem. Maybe. On Sundays cuz it's not gay obviously. He was DOWN BAD. he has gone through so many fucking issues, that he was afraid of loving anything and anyone and he falsely fell down into the rabbit hole of 'nobody is coming to save you, get up.' it got him through everything.

But finally somebody came and actually helped him. And instead of it being the stereotypical princess that he had saved during previous missions.. it was an absolute unite of a man picking him up, swinging him over his fucking shoulder and RUNNING faster than how Ghost ran when not injured or carrying a grown ass man. Maybe that was when he fell in love. But he didn't have a clue what was coming for him.

Oh just you wait until he finally let you in. It was no easy job. He even put you through ACTUAL IN REAL LIFE TESTS. INCLUDING papers and physical. Yeah you can't jump as high as a horse to make it through the field? Wrap it up. (He'll let you try again. It didn't even NEED to be if you were in the military like him. Even as a civilian, he'll treat you like a soldier. Sorry not sorry.)

he pushed you to your absolute limits. Guaranteeing that you'll stay just as big.and ho ho. He LOVED it. Seeing THE Ghost Riley entering a room already made everyone tense. Now? There was an entire Godzilla behind him entering with, acting like his fucking bodyguard without even lifting a finger.

in a way also..he was just.. a bit envious. You were strong, big and intimidating. Everything he wanted to be and everything he WORKED to be. His peace of mind came from the fact you were very submissive. The one thing he wasn't. He worked on himself throughout the relationship to change his beliefs. Instead of being envious, he accepted you as an equal, someone he admired but wasn't envious of.

Back to big scary bouyfriend though

i doubt anyone would be dumb enough to even speak back to seeing an intimidating man, an even bigger and scarrier man behind him with a big German Sheppard that looks very ready to attack any second. (I love Riley)

Riley approves of you as his boyfriend.

If you're in the army: He'll definitely take you around on the meetings with him. The possibility of someone not being intimidated by him alone are low and the chances after torture are even lower to zero. But with you behind him? Just lurking? Not even having to do the heavy lifting unless asked to by him? Yeah. Unstoppable.

For a while it almost made him sick with power. Or that's what he thought the feeling was. The feeling actually was just him falling in love deeper. It stopped behind casual when he started calling you up shamelessly at night to come over.

If you're not in the army? He wasn't even a little worried later on in your relationship. At the start? Yes, he still DEMANDED to accompany you but it took you beating up one person for him to be convinced that you can go alone so he can be tightly snoozing at 6pm on a free day after his tea. (He still tracked your location occasionally. He made sure to ask for permission, of course. If you said no, he'll not do it and instead accompany you more. No matter how strong you were, he will never truly not be afraid of losing you. He is NOT like those weirdos make him up to be.)

He really liked buying you specifically clothes. Maybe a little bit of a gooner one might say but he would love it if you were to casually pull up with a compression shirt on. Only you. Nobody else. If anything, everyone else wearing it outside of duty got a disgusted look from him. You were the only eyecandy he would feast his eyes on.

As a first time, he probably had you sit down with a folder of gay porn, showing you every video of what he wanted done. A bit weird of a bloke he was but alright. He did his research. He did not feel even a Little shame for showing you everything. He WILL get a laser pointer or a damn teacher ruler to point at the screen to make sure you're paying attention. That was no joke, stop laughing!!! Immediately!!! ( He is not very socially aware)

⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS APPLY FROM ⚠️

vvv⚠️HERE⚠️vvv

It took a little bit for him to change it in his mind that it was not casual to have sex. And it was even less casual for you to STAY after you were done 'using him up' (as he'd

put it). To stay and dry his tears, the comfortable and warm aftercare. For the first time's, he ended up crying in the middle of the act. He didn't feel as safe for a very long time and the crying never did stop. It simply changed meanings. From the fear to relief and safety, thankfullness. You were softer, you listened to him even if you were bigger than his previous male assaulters.

You heard him, you allowed him the control he desperately needed. You made him feel safe and even if he struggled for a really really long time saying no if you were to ask him to have sex out of pure fear, he managed to get himself to speak up when he truly wasn't feeling up to it.

It meant the entire world to him that you actually read his body language, how uncomfortable he was at times, asked him if he was okay and etc. He felt truly seen, not exposed.

I think he switches from being very hypersexual, wanting you whenever you were both free to not wanting anything to do with sex for weeks to no end. You being understanding to his situation made him feel better and his moods will stabilise with time to a more consistent pattern.

TRIGGER WARNINGS NO LONGER NEEDED FROM HERE DOWN!!

He is DEFINITELY not as he is commonly written. He will NOOOOT have sex on the battlefield no matter what you asked and how much you begged. The battlefield is serious and he won't even entertain flirting if the situation is especially serious. Doesn't mean that HE won't flirt with YOU but you're not allowed to! Only he gets a pass. Same with joking. It's only okay if he does it and you better respect it or he'll give you a nasty look!!

His head is too busy to even think about kinks at times but what he is never too busy to not hate is quickies. Not sure why. He just doesn't seem like the guy.

He is a confusing guy. Sometimes he is into something then the next day he isn't. The best way to find out is usually to ask but that doesn't even go well all the time.

Yeah your absolutely massive size plays a part in what he is into all the time tho. Uncertain why but I think he is into the pretty normal positions like him being on his back and you above him humping like a feral dog just as he told you to. Bonus if you hold his hands, intertwined fingers and all. Sometimes when at home, not deployed, he likes it on the weirdest places. The complete opposite of his work self. On the table? Hell yeah! You might as well just lift him up, put him on the table and fuck him right there and then. The bathroom sink? A little nasty but won't say no if there's a mirror. He DEFINITELY likes reminding you how you look, embarrassing you, even SOMETIMES mocking you if you told him that was okay earlier.

"look at yourself, I must feel so good, huh? Keep going then."

sometimes he is more entertained by watching you than the sex itself

Oh but the sex itself is NOT to ignore tho, sometimes he is left so shaky legs from pushing both yours and HIS limits that he can barely walk. Yet.. still tries to trot out, marching like a soldier with awkwardly high raise of his sore knees and heavy steps. He looks like a duck or a toddler learning to walk. You should help him!

Not vanilla, he does dip his toes into some freaky things from time to time. He uses your height and muscles against you a LOOOT. Even if you aren't a soldier, he expects you to act like one. You WILL respect him as an lieutenant in bed.

Specifics of what he is into? He just kind of likes mimicking you. Whatever he notices you're into, suddenly he'll act like he has been into it for years. Does draw the lines at toilet play and the really down bad degenerate things. Surprisingly? He also does not like choking that much. He does it, but really rarely and it's not even breath play, it's just him holding your neck to pull you down. And don't even THINK about reach for his neck or your fingers will be broken there and then.

Scratching and biting are ON the table.

Very hesitant about bringing weapons in bed tho. He knows you're a big strong guy just like him but it feels like mixing his work with his love life. You've to be very insistent and with very specific things to convince him to use something dangerous. Guns are allowed as long as they aren't loaded. Knives only need to be dull and handcuffs are mostly fine as long as they're padded up, not to hurt your wrists. They are NOT getting near his wrists though...

Maybe they are...

Gary "Roach" Sanderson

(I'll try to make this as long as possible despite us knowing like..none about him. Btw yeah fuck y'all he is definitely going to have selective mutism fuck y'all saying it's unrealistic. It's unrealistic for NICKY MINAJ AND SNOOP DOGG TO BE IN THE ARMY TOO BUT THERE THEY ARE NEXT TO THE PINK FLUFFY KÖNIG AND GODZILLA!!!)

Roachy is a tough one. I don't think he has dipped his toes in gay sex yet. You outta teach him about it. Maybe maybe. He like accidentally got recommended gay porn once or twice but that's about it. He didn't click it. He was not that interested.

Oh goodness but once he got a taste of that, there was no going back. It was the first and last he had. He is an adult male so obviously he did probably have sex like..once or maybe twice if very lucky and you squint your eyes and close one of them. Just he never really got to be with a guy ..and especially not a guy like you.

I think he'd be like the "hey mamas whatcha doi- wait......." By reflex then be silenced by himself until he figures out what's the male equivalent of that. Like hey papas? Hell no that sounds weird? Daddy? Yeah the daddy issues aren't that bad yet.

He is more a of a thinker than a doer and he appreciates you doing him nevertheless. He himself is quite tall, basically same height as Ghost. Roughly the same age (26) as well. So, just like for everyone else, it was new territory for him to be spoiled and treated like he treated others

What he most loved is that he didn't have to forcefully unmuted himself when with you. It either happened naturally or you were so intimidating that nobody dares to come talk to him no matter what it was about so you two can stay in silence together.

Just like I hc Roach was the soft spot for Ghost, you were his soft spot. Or more like he was your soft spot so you just did everything. There is a lot of apologising that happens

Not to mention how SHOCKED he was when he first saw you being all submissive and sweet, the complete opposite of what you looked like. He was in for a tough ride, fully prepared himself mentally that he'll need to put those sleeves back and get READY to break those walls of yours to finally get to the sweet cute you that he believes is in everyone.

Well it took like.. one cup of tea and a couple nice words and that's it, walls were down and you ended up making out? Somehow? Don't even ask me. Things just happen and he lets them happen.

He isn't that much more talkative when with you. In fact, he doesn't even need a reason to speak. You were just two dudes hanging out in silence, doing whatever came to mind while letting you do the talking. It was..for the best.

Even if you didn't have the best way with words, trust me it will be better than if Roach was in control of the situations

If you guys see him as autistic I get that so I'm gonna contribute to that.

His special interest is everything related to the military. And especially weapons and ranking. He overjoyed when he became a sergeant. And you should be too. The only times he opens his fucking mouth to is to yap about weaponry. And oh no they should not have given him permission for that.

Big scary boyfriend is basically a pass to everything in his mind. Not even in a childish way. It's a threat. You are scary because you got those two guns on you at all times. Gary is scary because he got GUNS and he knows how to use them. And use them very WELL.

oh yeah? You wanna force me to do something I don't wanna do? Go tell that to my boyfriend.

he climbs you like a fucking tree probably

As for sex life? That don't matter to him. He isn't that much of dom or even a sub. BUT if you asked him to do something? He takes it like a fucking challenge. He WILL do it and surprise you with how well he does it.

He REALLY likes to praise you. Praises you for just existing as well. Compliments everywhere and anytime. He is basically always thinking about you.

Just because he was thinking about you, doesn't mean that he'll only keep it in his mind. You were on his SHIRT. He had one of those "I love my boyfriend" shirts with your picture in a heart. He wore it unironically too. He does love his boyfriend so every motherfucker in the perimeter should know it.

Unfortunately price did not give him permission to wear it under his gear. Very unfortunate, really. Instead, he has a bunch of custom made stickers of you on his weapons. And a picture of you in his wallet. And your initials on his collar. And-

John "Soap" McTavish

oh me oh you. Sorry not sorry but he knows what's up.

Gary may <3333 Love <3333 his boyfriend but Soap? He LOVES his boyfriend m from first glance, his first thought was how cool and awesome you are. He wanted you to be his friend so badly that he started tweaking publicly in front of everyone, following you around like he is lost and even asking to carry your weapons/bag of groceries or anything you were carrying ever really for you to show he is just as strong.

There was NO insecurity here. Just like every single ex catholic school goer, he was the freakiest, nastiest lil mf around. My man's knew and been there done that better than the Pitbull. And I MEAN it.

Man's would probably even ask for a Footjob for all he cares. As long as it's safe, sometimes even that, he is down. Anything.

There no beating around the bush. You were his from first glance and he was yours before you even met.

Yeah maybe the Catholic guilt was so crushing that every once in a while he had a dream of just embracing you while the world around him was burning. But he won't let go. Hell wasn't a punishment bad enough for him to ever let go who he loved. And that dick was banging.

There was ever rarely any complaining about who tops and who bottoms. He is DOWN for it all. Maybe sometimes he'll ask if he can top. Maybe even beg but he was no twink or pushover. If you gave him the chance every once in a while, he'll TAKE IT.

Of course, that libido often runs short and his energy drops. Sometimes he feels bad and there is no better feeling than to just walk up to you and fall without a warning, knowing you'll catch him. He is NEVER giving a fucking warning. He will drop face first, fully trusting you catch him. You better catch or I'm catching you big boy.

He has long since lost his connection to his parents and many siblings so the conversation about meeting them a bit bad but don't worry about it. It wouldn't have gone good anyway. He was the only McTavish you wanted to know. And the only one you should know anyway.

He was very much attached to the hip with you. Far more possessive than Simon but somehow even more secure than Gaz. Don't even ask how. He just is.

Anytime you were to go out when he was not deployed, you are DEFINITELY standing behind him. Anyone thinking that big delicious man Soap was single was sure to regret it. Women and men, everyone goes down upon his request.

"No lass, I'm not single but you can ask my boyfriend if you want. [REDACTED]!"

just the moment they see you walking in, having to lean down to not bust your head into the frame of the door and any guy or girl that was into John, is GONE

Positions? Yeah all of them. For his birthday you can buy him a book of every sex position and he'll even put it in the calendar so you don't forget

Why is he so kinky? Not because he particularly enjoys it. He just wants to fill the void. And god doesn't cut it anymore. He felt aware that his time in the military was running short and wanted to do the opposite of Ghost.

You were there to balance him. The big scary man in his life that reminded him of things he forgot. He loved it.

Back on the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂mode

Telling you around what to do was NOT happening. Yes, he MAY nudge you at best but he LOVES leaving you clueless, lost. Not knowing what to do with yourself when you're senselessly fucking him makes him even more turned on. What makes him the most turned on? When you just do whatever comes to mind. Like a lost animal. And oh the coldness in your eyes disappearing and being replaced by that hot botherness. He was so down bad for you.

In everyday life? You better not be bringing up your height against him or he is going to glare at you and tell you to drop it. Either that or laugh with. 60/40 with odds in an unknown direction. Good luck figuring it out.

Already planning marriage

Unlike Ghost, he is all for quickies. Here and there, now and then.

He really likes being picked up and kissed. He feels it's funny rather than just genuinely enjoying it in a way.

ALSO Has an I love my boyfriend shirt but a little more shame than Roach and only wears it ironically sometimes, like when going to bed or casual days.

Never before has he gotten to experience what it's like to steal someone's else's clothes. Other people, men and women HAVE taken his clothes in previous relationships but never did he know what it feels like to be the one to do it. Mostly because he hadn't dated anyone even close to his size before.

His type in women was all women and in men was all men but simply, there's not that many tall men. Of course twinks and femboys are ALWAYS ready for Soap and he was..only occasionally ready for them. If things got too dry.

Now? No dryness no more. LEAKING

___________________________________________

Kortac

(the rest will be shorter due to the lack of knowledge on the characters)

Krüger

Trigger warnings AGAIN for really fucked up things for Krüger. He is a lil freak in the worst ways possible. Gore, porngore, self harm and everything bad is going on here but I'll still give a section of smut hcs for no triggering topics. They'll again be marked accordingly.

Oh LAWD. Unlike ALL of the other ones, Krüger didn't even think TWICE. He was overjoyed if anything.

In his eyes, you were exactly like him but improved, bigger better stronger one might say.

He was THE most into it. Out of everyone? You two were the most perfect match.

You were used often and turned into a tool flawlessly, with no issue whatsoever. You obeyed like a fucking dog and were horrifying enough to keep everyone in check even when not there.

Your height and strength was what he was attracted to first, not really anything else unfortunately. At least at the beginning, of course.

Sometimes he actually speaks to you the way you'd speak to a police dog.

"Search there"

"Kill!"

He was even more delighted when you first had sex. Finding out you were so.. submissive and obedient was perfect. Maybe you being a top bothered him for a while, he was in denial but once he got over that the first time, he never changed his mind again. He was GLADLY taking your dick anytime as long as he was the only one in control. Every single sense or mean of control was stripped out, held above your head (haha he can't do that often)

He was especially into forcing you to just lay down at take him on for as long as you physically could. You ARE going to take it. He was merciful enough to give you a safe word, of course. Despite sometimes losing himself to absolute manic, he understands consent. OBVIOUSLY.

He is very manipulative, really creative in ways to bring the 'best' out of you. Pushing you far beyond your limits then barely apologising, just to do it again and again.

⚠️⚠️ TRIGGER WARNINGS APPLY FROM⚠️⚠️

⚠️⚠️HERE⚠️⚠️

He was really into asking you to break him. He WANTED, NEEDED for you to cut him up to pieces. Use your big fucking muscles and shatter his body.

Or he will.

Once he found out you were so submissive but still a top, he decided to let it slide, leaving the almost forced gorey sex behind for a while until he can figure out a way to go back to it.

No matter how long time has passed, he still held knives and sharp objects with him in bed, or anywhere on his person he can possibly hide. Once he felt you weren't listening enough, he pulls them out and threatens you to keep going.

Bonus point if that turns you on. Cuz it sure as hell turns him on.

If it doesn't turn you on, you need to actually speak back. Using your intimidating self on him WORKS. Not because he is afraid but because he is into it. He thinks it's really hot.

Likes to beg you into punching him or getting violent when in bed. Man is just a sadomaso

Sometimes he is a lil bit of a..sexist in a way? Treating you like a girl, calling you princess to mock you despite being CLEARLY the perfect picture 'Manly man'. Even putting you in a dress once in a while.

⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS END HERE!⚠️⚠️

more healthy relationship starts

If you actually want a healthy relationship with him, you need to put a lot more work. And unlike any other person, you actually have the means to succeed.

Your big figure and intimidation tactics work very well. As long as you can use them, he listens.

He even OBEYS sometimes. The closer you get to understanding him, the more he leaned in on hurting himself instead of you. And once you get to that? He will actually put effort into stopping it all together.

Would probably take years for him to soften but you do get like a little free trial of soft Krüger when he is very tired and sleepy in your arms.

Oh how much he loves cuddling but never admits it..

Just hug him, make him understand and love him and he'll gladly do the rest of the work.

Once he actually softened up, he became a more.. upstanding citizen in a way. More domestic. In fact, you just domesticate him it seems.

just because he got domesticated tho it does NOT mean he'll be less of a 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴.. Sex is anything but boring with that man. It simply becomes more loving and occasionally more gentle.

Fun little extra headcanon? He finds hand holding lewd but not making out or kissing in public.

König

well that's a lil difficult to tell. I think he would genuinely be confused for a while. I do NOT hc him as 6'10 or whatever the fanon König is but he is still decently tall in my mind. Like a 6'7 at best. so, finding someone taller than him AND somehow bagging them?? Like how'd he do that???

He was a bit more chill once he got used to it that anyone else felt small. Since when deployed, he was surrounded by mostly tall people and when he was not deployed and home with you, he was just surrounded by you and you only.

The world felt weird when he went out with you. Two tall men out together. He HATED the outward attention so as much as he could, he'd avoid getting out. Not because of shame, of course.

Sometimes he even used it as a flex. The scary man and the scarier man. Just like Krüger, you were like an improved version of him. Bigger and scarrier. He liked that a lot.

What came as a real surprise was that you were so submissive. He himself was pretty dominant and called himself a top. (Has never been with a guy before though. Maybe the one time he confused a femboy for a girl technically counts but he does not count it if you were to ask.)

Took a lot of him to actually accept a proposal to date..he tried to keep it 'casual' for a long while even if it was anything but Casual.

Can't say that seeing you shirtless didn't turn him on though. Pent up emotions and sexual tension from having joined the army at 17 has the man tweaking the first time he felt turned on by someone like you

You BETTER be treating him nice when you do get to have sex.

Positions don't matter but he personally dislikes eye contact. Of course, what he REALLY likes though..

Surprisingly.. roleplay. He likes playing stupid roles with you in bed. It's a bit childish and he'd never admit it but he always asks for it when you are both free for a longer time. Usually it's just short and straightforward to the point, not much talking other than him telling you what to do, what not to touch and etc.

When it came to roleplaying? He is into some weird stuff. Like putting you into a cow pattern lingerie to embarrass you while he can be 'the cowboy'. (He went on rants about why Is it called a cowboy if he is riding a horse and not a cow? He REFUSES to have it with a horse.)

He is also really into recording it. Especially mixed in with the roleplay.

One time he even asked you to pretend to be a porn star, record it and everything. He wrote a SCRIPT too. Who knows WHEN he wrote that. He just pulled up after deployment to you with it so it must be sometime during his deployment.

one time you were a ghost buster and he was a sexy Ghost. He made a lot of bad jokes that he thought were the funniest thing ever in English. He did not quite understand it but you did find out that he likes the ghost busters movies!

He finds kissing you very nice. Grabbing you by the shoulders and just MWAAAAAHH type shit yk? Especially if it's a more passionate kiss, against a wall or something.

It is a MUST for now both of you to share the same diet and same work out routine. It..took a bit for him to admit he cannot keep up with yours and finally have to unmatch it. Very unfortunate.

He doesn't have any favourite positions, if you asked him he just wouldn't answer or say he doesnt know.

But he does know. It's against a mirror. Or god forbid a fucking window that's just another clean and reflective enough. It makes him go insane whenever you catch him there.

Shares clothing 100%. If you're not in the military, he'd even leave his mask over at your place for you to fuck and pretend it's him, ESPECIALLY if you send him videos WITH sound on. If you dare send a silent one he'll send you a lot of angry dad emojis. Do not test him!!!

he also has a favourite angle that he likes the videos.to be taken from because he sees your muscles flex just right.

Overall really enjoys it. You are forced to work out together, share tall man struggles. Does not care if he is gay or anything, no angst on this one boys.

Nikto

I fuckin love Nikto I'm foaming at the mouth as I write this

He hated it. Like a lot. He would gladly break your fucking legs JUST so you can be not as tall.

It pissed him off, turned him on. Same thing

He is even less likely to let ANYTHING go up his ass than Ghost. It took a lot of time after you started dating for him to even let you undress him.

It started with him founding how submissive you were and exploiting it to HELL!

That was your only saving point. The first thing of him you got to see first was his fucking dick.

Open wide 🤤

NOT allowed to see his face under the mask but you can DEFINITELY see that his eyes were constantly locked on your muscles. He MAY or may not purposely change his workout routine just to match yours.

No reason at all just..felt out dated so he has to change it! Definitely not the tank top you're wearing.

When on autopilot, Nikto was following around you without meaning at all. He himself was usually the most intimidating man around Kortac just due to his pure insanity. Now he had competition. Yeah he saw it as fucking competition.

Nearly a forced one sided rivals AND lovers.

Your intimidation does not work :[

your height only kind of just pisses him off SK you need to go the extra mile with fucking him once he permits it.

Favourite position??? Nikto is somewhat of a porn addict so...he likes weird stuff.

He fucking tried pretending to be stuck in the washing machine. I hope you guys understand just how crazy that is. Would be even crazier if you agreed and DID fuck him while in that.

He DOES like shower sex, especially if the water is cold. He forces you to be the one under the cold water them degrading you if you can't keep it up while fucking him.

You that's not easy so good luck bro. No amounts of muscle can save you from that

Horangi

-----------------------------------------------------

The Extras section

Vladimir Makarov

Makarov is a confusing lad to write about icl cuz I think he would either not care or take another one day to put you in your fucking place as a bootkisser then continue on about his day

You being taller than him ain't no surprise, a lot of men are taller than him. What IS a surprise though? That people around seemed to fear you more than they feared him. He wasn't jealous, he was impressed.

He decided to 'invest' some money into you, keep you under watch. In his head, you're now a high value employee- partner.

Wait what. Where did..we lose the plot???

Why are in his bed?

Oh well might as well. He likes it. He is NOT above no little hook ups or getting really inappropriate during work as long as it was not a very serious situation. It didn't matter as long as his big scary boyfriend is behind him

He almost went on a power trip, jumping and screaming from joy inside his mind when you agreed to dare him

He gave you fucking heels. Weird that he knew your size but he did. You have to wear the heels. Gender means nothing to him.put the fucking heels on and be even taller so he can drool.

He likes big boobs on his men since he himself looks like..that. (no hate, only a lil)

His favourite hobby is teaching you how be a really horrible person, even more self defense and dragging you around. Unfortunately, civilian or not, you ARE dragged into his schemes.

You are also dragged in alleys, covered in blood of your enemies for a quickie. Ooopsie!

He thinks the dynamic is cute

He considers himself to be the scarier one though, would be insult if you even tried to imply that he wasn't the most badass man ever

Weird enough I think he really likes taking pictures of you.but not in the cute way that Gary/Roach does. But in a creepy stalker way

If you asked him to do something that you can 100% do alone, he would mock you, call you weak and etc.

If it's something that you actually say you're struggling with like a jar of pickles or sum that you've loosened just enough for him to open easily THEN ask him for help, he'll acknowledge it was an attempt but till take it and pretend like he didn't know what you did.

He appreciates everything you do for him but NEVER says anything

Outside of work he is not very sneaky about admiring your amazing built. He likes it and makes it clear with his eyes but not his mouth. You are NOT hearing even a single compliment from him. MAYBE a 'good job' like once a week but that's about it.

Sex? Yes.

Occasionally is a bit too paranoid about being seen by his comrades because of a bit of not even internalised but straight up verbalised homophobia but as long as he has enough fucking guns it does not matter

Despite your height and being built like a tank, you do not get privileges to go anywhere alone without a bullet proof vest. He would usually send a bodyguard if you were anyone else but no bodyguard does the job you're on your own for that. It's either him or a gun.

Really likes risky places and pretty crazy or even straight up dangerous kinks. It is like an overload of euphoria and pleasure. The thrill? You fucking him in this place? The FACES you're making? How pathetic you are? Absolutely perfect. Give him that as much as your body can handle.

A big guys gets big fucking expectations and you NEED to keep up.

Phillip Graves

Shameless. ABSOLUTELY shameless. If he likes you, you WILL know off the bat.

"I don't care how many people die, GO GET HIM!!!"

You will start dating him the quickest out of every other mf on this list

Give him a week MAX!

Your big ass is HIS and his only, he is already ordering a bigger bed in his room for just you to fit in while drooling like a disgusting pervert.

He is very much a disgusting pervert.

Whenever he catches you out and about, he pulls out a gun then runs at you. He WILL jump in your arms, if you don't catch him, he'll shoot you in the head. If you do catch him, he won't.

So far, you have caught him every time and you're still not sure if he is joking or not about the whole shooting in the head thing..

Big muscles means he gets use you as a threat. Saying that if someone doesn't do as he says, he'll use them to feed you

And damn looking at you? I'd believe it too.

Not the HEALTHIEST mf to be in a relationship with. It's hardly a relationship, he even pays you occasionally for just attending places with him. Buys your clothes extra fitted and perfect for you. (Sometimes he buys a shirt or pants a bit too small on purpose and asks you to try them. He just likes seeing it so tightly fitted against you that it looks like it'll rip off like Hugh Jackman as Wolverines shirt. Again, he IS SHAMELESS.)

There is rarely a time when you aren't tied up in bed. Only if you complain about the rope or handcuffs hurting too much, only then will he be willing enough to let them go. If he fucking has to, he WILL get some shadows in the room to hold your arms behind your back so you better not test him

Nobody felt safe around him before and now they feel even less safe when there's a fucking bull of a man right behind him at all times. You were REALLY quickly promoted to his "left hand"

"No, honey, you don't get it. It's left hand, not right hand, because you're useless most of the time unless I'm jerking off."

You were 80% sure he was joking. His joke line delivery sucks though so you can't be sure.

VERY kinky, most into bondage but into less severe things than Krügers freaky ass. He would still kill you though.

A couple of times he showed his actual care though. After all, he still has a heart! Somewhere..in there? I assume?

not much to say. Other than he might occasionally Ask you to flex your muscles for him so he can take a picture of his face in between them and send it in the Shadow company WORK groupchat

NOBODY LIKES IT WHEN HE DOES THAT, PHILLIP PLEASE FUCKING STOP

DEFINITELY into recording porn. In fact, he decided it would be such a good idea to re-record a training video for shadows but make it into almost a fucking porno due to how erotic it was with the two of you as the 'Main Actors'

Shadows don't watch such a video. He just straight up lied to you about it because he wanted to do it.

Buys a LOT of expensive things for you, especially ones to embarrass you with like underwear with his face on it with hearts all around. God forbid anyone in the changing room asks about it.

How he reacts to you being submissive? He loves it! Loves to abuse it as well! The big scary scary you is horny, overstimulated and whining under his foot, just waiting for him? He likes having a picture of both of those "faces". The scary one in your id that everyone views you as and the one (for private use only) of your desperate tear stained face after he was done abusing your dick for HOURS.

Unfortunately though, the times he got to go really DOWN for the sex were often quite rare. He was a busy man. At most you can get a Handjob under a work desk from him then once done, he'll take you to the bathroom and force you to lick it off his hand. He is just weird like that.

Alejandro Vargas

Alejandro was in denial for the longest. Even to now, he still doesn't even know if you're dating or if it's just casual.

It's been years..

Made a lot of "is it gay if-" jokes that literally nobody laughed at. They're just simply not funny.

He was very sceptical of the way he and YOU felt for a LOOONNGG time. Even once he accepted you love him and that he loves you, he was always in denial, just patting your back as if you were buddies.

But it was NOT casual how much he got bothered by women and even other men staring at you at the gym or wherever you're training at. Be it his gym or a public one, he WILL have you wearing a long sleeved shirt. Only if he is alone with you then you can take it off. He can swallow his distain for the inability to see the way you're so scrumptiously build if it means NOBODY ELSE CAN TOO!!!

Once alone? He is like the token henchman boy in every teen movie that is constantly hyping up the main bully guy in a weirdly gay way. Like those two 'straight guys' in everyone's classes. There is NO separation

He is SO Into the big buff ones, extra points if you even have a lot of hair on your body and he is ready to go on sight. He isn't at all afraid NORMALLY when alone with you because frankly? Sometimes he acts pretty gay with his other homies..hell occasionally even Soap is a victim to having his biceps grabbed then being given unsolicited advice on his to gain more.

Let me tell you, you are an eye candy to him. A confusing eye candy but an eye candy nevertheless.

As for in bed? Like a dream come true! He truly (makes himself) believe that as long as he is the dominant one, then it's not gay! Of course not..

"Hermano, what do you mean the 'socks' rule is a joke? Are you calling me fuckin gay?"

He is smart, smarter than that..he is even mostly joking but makes it REALLY convincing that sometimes people genuinely think he is unaware of the fact that having sex with another male that is so absolutely huge, enough to have him get the next two days off, is obviously gay.

He was unfortunately very.. forgetful the first time having sex. Thinking he can definitely handle it 'raw' because that's what it's like usually for women and he never had a reason to learn about male weak spots unless it's to kill said male.

So, let me tell you.. with your absolutely massive size in all means, being a top and him relentlessly ordering you to "Show him what you've got!" And to "not go easy on him!" Mixed together lead to a 'perfect' mixture of " a trip to ER"

He was too ashamed to go to ER immediately but did get a private doctor he can maybe kill if necessary to check him out. There was no irreversible damage but he definitely learnt that lube is important and the male body does NOT act the same as a female one! What a shocker..

He is REAALLLYY into praising. He WILL praise you at any chance given, mixed in with a lot of physical touch. Again.. especially on the muscles and abs. Man probably had erotic dreams about that too

Don't ask him though he'd just lie or not tell you to not creep you out.

Funny enough, I think he likes helping you shave or just doing "stereotypically" masculine things with you. Working out, fishing, sometimes cooking (but in a masculine way, he'll swear it's a really masculine thing.), you name it!

Later on in the relationship, he really doesn't mind you being submissive at all, unlike the others, he is very neutral to it. Sees it as more of a quirk of yours than anything.

Does not like labeling himself as gay but would lie about being your husband sometimes just to see the shocked look on peoples faces.

Favourite positions? His most favourite one is against a dirty wall in a blind spot at an especially public place like an alley or around the corner of something late at night

OR in a big bath with flowers and candles, extra romantic. Those are the two options, take it or leave it. Romantic or like two filthy teens.

Tends to forget sometimes that you can't give him your all because you will literally shatter him, you NEED to remind him that he shouldn't push you until you've no choice but to fuck his brains out but Alejandro is just Alejandro. Can't help but love him.

He 100% has a picture of you in his wallet AND a tattoo of your name.

Was probably the first to say 'I love you' but in a 'bro way'

Keegan P. Russ

Another tough nut to write about. He is in NO way the Dom daddy that he is written as though that's for sure.

His first reaction to you walking through the god damn door was just side eyeing you for an uncomfortably long time. Probably you would have to be the one to talk to him first if you want to get ANYWHERE

Ignoring that whole..thing..with how you'd even meet, he will be quite happy. Not overjoyed like Krüger or confused like Gaz. He's more okay with it.

Keegan is more about who you are and what you can actually contribute than just physical strength. Being intimidating was right up his alley too so he bonded with you quite quickly.

No internal or external homophobia, bro was just chill like that tbh

As long as you prove yourself helpful and spend a LOT of time with him, he'll treat you like an equal in absolutely no time.

Sometimes he DOES overestimate you though and when he does, even if disappointed, apologises and treats you to a dinner out once he has made sure it's safe. And by out I mean out. On the fucking grass. He is NOT paying for no restaurant. AND you need to be wearing Ghillie suit just in case. Only to be safe. Maybe have a bomb or two to distract in case something happens. Wow those old sniper habits die hard, huh?

Is actually quite confused though by the switch when it comes to sex life. He expected you to be just as bold and cold as you are out and about in your everyday life/battlefield but instead he was met with basically puppy dog eyes at his feet

Can't complain, it was kinda hot, that's his initial thought process. Just as he should, he quickly adapted to the situation. Did a couple quick searches of 'how to be dominant in bed for losers with no life outside of brotherhood' and he was ready to go!

JUST to be greeted with another shocking surprise when YOU were the one to actually fuck him. Just like Horangi, he was a bit taken back by it. None of those wiki how's had said anything about how to take a cock like a champ :[

He did not take that cock like a champ.

He took it like a loser in fact.

He was very fond of more intimate or 'traditional' positions. Due to your height and strength difference.. it seemed to click in his mind exactly like this.

'oh since I'm the smaller one, I'm the one who gets fucked? Makes sense.'

He is very smart, yes, just not sexually. BUT he is no pushover. He WILL overstimulate you until you're begging him to stop fucking himself on you. You just habe to wait until he gets the hang of it and it's over.

Not too kinky, more moderate. Like the average John Doe, missionary or reverse cowgirl, anything as long as he has direct access to your whole body.

Can't even lie to himself but he is a big thighs appreciator. He likes thighs very much so. Sometimes he ALMOST turns into a whiny bitch dog when he wants to try fucking your thighs. As long as you let him, he'll have a field day with those huge thangs 🤤 shi bru me too. Someone of that size will naturally have thicker thighs. And Keegan wants them to crush his skull.

He often jokes that even the rest of the ghosts would appreciate and see that as an honourable death, to go on and finish the Ghosts 'death ritual'.

He says that he'd do an extra good job protecting his homeland in afterlife if his reason for death was your thighs or your dick.

He is a pretty big loser the rest of the time when not in bed unfortunately :[

He is NOT talking about none the entire day then gets really talkative when it's time to fuck.

Still charming, you can't POSSIBLY say no to those eyes, can you, big boy?

(for the confused ones, THIS is a Ghillie suit)

Guys did I do good I hope I didn't bore you to death but I swear I:m just a big yapper who loves to yap :[

[multitooled-sentient-robot]

Automated UECS Safe Travels Crew Report November 11/13/2124

Many different forms of corruption have emerged in the last quarter. This has lead to four factions that threaten the crew: N'ukahana - She corrupts the minds of crew members and turns them against each other. Followers include @consortofrot and @rottendragon The Void - Uses it's infesters to corrupt the minds and bodies of those corrupted, though if the person is strong willed enough, they can keep their mind in tact. Seems to be lead by @observant-void Aurelionite (@gilded-gaia) - stuck in the gilded coast, she influences us all. Does not appear as hostile as the other teams. Motive unknown. Mithrix (@mithrix-the-almighty) - creates constructs such as (@mithrixsfavoriteconstruct) and generally antagonizing us at some points, he is a strong foe. Luckily, he is confined to the moon and therefore is generally confined to insulting us.

Individual Reports:

Safe Travels Crew Members:

Commando (@hornet-luck) - After being antagonized by captain, briefly became gilded to defeat him, afterwards was the main person to comfort and support them Huntress (@rain-of-arrows) - nothing of note Myself (this blog lol) - nothing of note Engineer (@turretlovernbungusenjoyer) - had a brief altercation with the one known as "Drifter" Artificer (@artificise, @housebeyond) - nothing of note Mercenary (S.T.) (@the-merc-from-ror2) - Had a duel with another mercenary that ended in a draw, has currently hidden himself in [ERROR - CODE: LIKE.IM.GONNA.TELL.YOU.PRICK] out of paranoia REX (@rexs-plant, @one-of-the-gardeners-of-all-time) - Has made a garden on the planet's surface, they're plant half has aligned themself with Mithrix Loader #1 (@the-bionic-powerhouse) - nothing of note Loader #2 (@the-reinforced-recruit) - Helps keep everyone emotionally stable. physically cannot understand binary. Captain (@tired-veteran) - Was corrupted by N'ukahana and tried to kill everyone. Was stopped by providence, REX, and commando. Currently not very popular. Railgunner (@railgun-ur-face) - Currently being corrupted by the void Seeker (@seeker-0222) - Nothing of note

"Survivors" of the contact light

Enforcer (@hammer-of-justice) - Corrupted by the void before trying to kill everyone. Currently in semi-stable state Bandit (@money-lovin-thief) - Has stolen several pieces of UECS property. HAN-D (@j4n1t0r) - Nothing of note Miner (@dirtnrocksnminerals) - Nothing of note Sniper (@bigfucking-gun) - corrupted by the void, condition unknown Mercenary (C.L.) (@hired-blade) - has had several altercations with other crew, currently locking himself in his room. Pilot - (@airborne-fighter) - nothing of note Drifter - (@drifting-collector) - collection was destroyed so they are trying to rebuild it. Has had alterations with engineer and Mercenary (S.T.)

Others of note:

Bandit #2 (@desperate-outlaw) - definitely not dating captain. nope! (Edited) False Son (@halcyon-seeded-bison-enjoyer) - Initially attacked the crew but has seemed to become our ally Providence (@bulwark-of-the-weak) - Came aboard the ship one day. Powerful. Motives unclear. Newt (@timeless-newt) - vendor of lunar items "Void Fiend" (@escaped-prisoner) - claims to be a survivor of the contact light but is to corrupted by the void to be proven. The void entities seem to bring him back to an unknown location.

End Report.

[donewithcapitalistfrayers]

When Palestine had only unguided rockets “wiser heads” babbled about how these would only lead to targeted retribution; when it had only targeted kornets the same; the “concern” for the consequences of the national resistance operations is actually a request to don a straitjacket. The buildup of armed guerrilla and increasingly regular resistance capacity is non-linear and riddled with errors and comes with tremendous and inhumane cost for the colonized society; martyrs and flattened buildings and commando defense operations that are doomed to death. Lessons are learned, technology and strategic insights aggregate, willpower grows, morale and sophistication swell; and suddenly you have thousands of crack troops who are likely some of the toughest fighters in the world because they grew up in hell. This achievement can only be evaporated through an unfathomable and likely unachievable violence that would incite a regional explosion. The violence needed to rout the brigades from Gaza would pull in Hezbollah and Iran. We simply will not, I believe, see it; and if we will then all bets are off for everyone. Until then Israel is fighting the willpower of people who have nothing. This is not a war a bourgeois society can win

[bg-11]

Ripping into TCW's A Friend in Need, in which every character is awful.

I'm going to be upfront about this: I do not care for TCW, I never really have. See, I've always been a big stickler for continuity, even as a kid, and by this point there was *plenty* of Clone Wars related content that had been set across the whole 3 years of the war. The big issue of course was always Ahsoka, who of course just couldn't neatly slot into that timeframe at all because there were already plenty of comics that made it clear that Anakin never had a Padawan. She was a square peg the writers of TCW had jammed into a square hole. Of course, Ahsoka wasn't the only example, it was clear the writers never really gave a shit about what other, better writers had already established, and so retcons and continuity errors were rife with the series, only increasing as it continued. Exactly the kind of thing I was leery about. I was willing to give it a chance when it first came out, but that optimistic goodwill didn't really last too long.

I watched it on-and-off when it came out to check it out, I didn't want to judge it without having seen it. It was the same when I heard about how obnoxious Karen Traviss' Republic Commando series was, I wanted to see if that was as bad as people were saying it was (it was worse). By Season 4, I was pretty ready to write it off, the retcons were getting bigger and bigger (Even Piell getting killed off before his Canon death in Coruscant Nights, changing Asajj Ventress' backstory and fate contrary to what it was in the Republic comics, treating the Nightsisters as if they were literal witches who could use actual magic, the list goes on, but those were my biggest gripes). One episode that stood out to me though, was A Friend in Need, an episode in which pretty much everyone except for Artoo is stupid, malicious or both. At the time, I thought it was the worst episode of TCW yet. Has that changed since then? Yeah, but I'd still count this episode as the dumbest.

For whatever reason, the episode popped into my head recently after...I don't know how long its been, relatively shortly after the episode aired, I guess? And, I don't know, I guess I wanted to take a jab at picking it apart? I've never really done this before, there've been a couple of times when I've wanted to examine bad media, but for whatever reason, I never really got to it. So, fuck it, better late than never, I guess. So, I rewatched the episode to get it fresh in my mind. As the old EU was still Canon when this aired, I'm putting it through the lens of it still being Canon when I talk about it.

There's a good reason why my friends call me a masochist, I guess.

Things start out on Mandalore, where Ahsoka is escorting Padme, Bail and Mon Mothma in talks with representatives from the Separatist Senate when Lux Bonteri walks in. When I first watched A Friend in Need, I had missed Lux's Introductory episode which also introduced the Separatist Senate, so I was a little confused here. Confused because prior to TCW, there wasn't a Separatist Senate, the Confederacy was solely ruled over by the Separatist Council. Now, there's commentary from Filoni that apparently, the EU writers had misunderstood the purpose of the Separatist Council, that no, they weren't the leaders of the CIS, and that the megacorporation's who made up the CIS were just neutral parties. I have two issues with that, first being that I trust Dave "I sincerely believe this man wants to fuck wolves" Filoni's word about as far as I can throw his furry ass, and two, that isn't how it comes across in the movies at all.

The leaders of the Trade Federation, Intergalactic Banking Clan, Techno Union and Commerce Guild are all present, outright saying they're pledging their alliance and their armies to the Separatist cause. That they're apparently neutral, uninvolved parties doesn't gel at all, it just seems like a clumsy retcon to me. One of many.

But anyway...

Lux busts in and causes a scene, accusing Count Dooku of murdering his mother, so the Separatist senators have their guards drag him away. Ahsoka, concerned, gets permission from Padme to follow him, as long as she's discrete. Lux is dragged back to the Separatist's shuttle, where a hologram of Dooku appears to gloat a bit, before telling the droids to execute Lux. Why he doesn't just use the Force to choke him, I don't know, all you need is line of sight.

Now, I'd actually misremembered how this scene went down. In my memory, Lux dropped an ion grenade to disable the droids and *then* Ahsoka showed up. Apparently my flawed memory made Lux more competent then he actually is in the episode. How was he actually planning on getting away? We'll get back to that in a moment, but for right now, he's at the battle droid's mercy.

And then Ahsoka intervenes.

Here's another issue I had with Ahsoka, her characterisation. There were a couple of moments that stuck with me that I think are relevant here.

Season 1, episode 19, Storm Over Ryloth: Ahsoka has to learn not to be a reckless, headstrong idiot because she gets her troops killed.

Season 2, episode 1, Holocron Heist: Ahsoka has to learn not to be a reckless, headstrong idiot because she gets her troops killed.

This episode? Ahsoka is a reckless, headstrong idiot who forces her way into a hostile situation, gets the attraction of a bunch of armed droids and leads them back towards the Senate Guards who are stationed at the Republic shuttle, quickly alerts the unaware men that some pissed off droids are on her tail, then boards the shuttle, takes off and flees back to Coruscant, abandoning the Senators she was supposed to be escorting *and* the Senate Guards who are now taking the heat for her.

Ahsoka is such a shitty bodyguard, Jesus Christ. Getting Lux to safety is a priority, fine, but why does she need to board the ship herself and flee the system entirely? Why not just have Lux board the ship, then go back to help the Senate Guards deal with the battle droids that she *led* there in the first place? They're not just regular battle droids either, they're droid commandos who are supposed to be a lot tougher and smarter than the standard B1 battle droids. We don't see the outcome of this fight, so I presume the Senate Guards won, which, good thing. Because Ahsoka abandoned the Senators she was supposed to be watching over, and I genuinely wouldn't put it past the Separatists to pull something now that these peace talks have collapsed because of what Ahsoka did. They were never going to work out anyway of course, given Sidious' whole purpose behind the Clone Wars, but the characters aren't aware of that.

Anakin gets in contact and when Lux tries to apologise with "Master Jedi, I'm sorry if I've caused you any trouble." ("If" you caused trouble? "If"?)

Ahsoka tries to brush it off with "It's nothing." Uh, no, it's not. See the above paragraphs for why it *is* a big deal, and I can't see Anakin of all people being too happy with Padme being left in a dangerous situation like that. But I guess we're brushing past that, cool.

Ahsoka points out how dumb Lux's plan was, saying he would have been killed if she hadn't intervened (true). Then Lux says no, actually, he *did* have a plan, then he pulls out a taser and stuns Ahsoka. Seriously? His plan was to go in, confront Dooku, hoping that he'd send a transmission just to gloat (apparently he "knew" he would, but why? He could just have easily been shot by the battle droids), and he went in there armed with a dinky little taser? Brilliant plan, I'm sure that would have done *wonders* against a squad of droid commandos all armed with blasters.

Ahsoka wakes up hours later aboard the shuttle with just Artoo, her lightsabers missing. She goes out to talk to Lux and finds out the contacts he's meeting are the Death Watch, that Mandalorian supremacist group of terrorists who are awful even by Mandalorian standards.

Jesus Christ, Lux is so fucking stupid.

Despite Ahsoka attempting to tell him that they're bad news, he keeps brushing it off because they *also* hate Dooku, so it'll be fine. Back aboard the ship, Artoo finds Ahsoka's lightsabers tucked away in a random drawer. So, if she had bothered to look for them, she would have found them in the space of five minutes. My God, she is useless. These two deserve each other, I swear.

Oh, and we meet Bo-Katan for the first time.

Awful, *evil* Bo-Katan.

On the ride back, Lux reveals he had a way to track Dooku's location through his communication.

Serenno. He was probably on Serenno, his homeworld of Serenno, where he has a mansion on Serenno, Serenno on which he is a Count. This isn't exactly hidden knowledge.

They go back to the Death Watch compound. see them using kitbashed battle droids as target practice and Ahsoka is marched off while Lux talks to their leader, Pre Vizsla. Apparently, he has beef with Dooku now and the Count gave him a scar. Which, first thing, if Dooku had wanted him dead, he'd be dead. Second, I actually don't remember those two falling out, so I looked it up and apparently it happens entirely offscreen between his last appearance and now, so whatever, I guess. Also, Vizsla threatens to cut up Lux if he doesn't hand over the tracer, and Lux seems pretty fine with that. Brilliant, that one, real smart.

Ahsoka gets thrown in with a hut full of enslaved women from a nearby village. Great people, those Mandalorians. Artoo, meanwhile, is taken to the droid shack and told to fix up the damaged battle droids so they can be used as target practice again. They don't even slap a restraining bolt on him, they just leave him to his own devices. Which, in this case, happens to be a room full of battle droids, several of which actually still have blasters in repairable condition as we'll see later.

Well, the Mandalorians are rock stupid, so I suppose I can't complain *that's* out of character.

Big feast is held, now Lux can see with his own eyes that the Death Watch are using the local women as slaves...but he doesn't seem to give much of a shit about it, even as Ahsoka keeps trying to point out how awful his allies are. It's at that point the village elder shows up and demands Viszla let his people go. He did this unarmed, with his only support being two other unarmed villagers, walking into a camp full of hostile people who had already taken the village's women as slaves and expected things to go well for him. When Vizsla agrees in the most sinister way possible, with several other Death Watch members openly snickering about it, the elder thinks all is well and Lux even says: "You see? They're not the butchers you make them out to be."

I...Jesus Christ, they were using the local women as slaves, but you're fine with that so long as they take them back when they're done? Lux has to be the stupidest character in this series, I swear. There is exactly one smart person this entire episode and it's Artoo.

Next day, the Death Watch take the enslaved women back to their village, the Elder thanking him for it.

And then he takes out his stupid edgesaber and stabs the man's granddaughter in front of him. Can't help but feel this would have been more impactful if obvious sacrificial lamb character had more than a minute of screentime, but okay, its awful and its typical Mando behaviour. For good measure they start torching the village and maybe set one villager on fire. And much to my shock, Lux finally gets it. I was half expecting him to brush it off as them setting fires to keep the villagers warm. Ahsoka seems to impale a guy with a blunt pole, before getting tied up. And then they drag her back to their camp from their speeder...yeah, Ahsoka should be dead.

Then Lux says this...

"I believed you had honour, but you're just murderers."

What possibly led you to think that conclusion, you absolute dumbass? This whole time, Vizsla has been acting as blatantly sinister and creepy as Dick Dastardly, if he had a moustache he'd be twirling it. Lux seems like the kind of character who needs to be told not to drink drain-cleaner, I swear to God.

As Vizsla is preparing to deal with Idiot and Useless, Artoo shows up with an army of kitbashed droids...and like I said either, a few of them have working blasters. Literally the only competent character, I swear. Artoo gives Ahsoka her lightsabers back, and Vizsla decides to duel her one-on-one, because like every Mando, he has a totally unearned superiority complex. She ends up slicing his jetpack and he doesn't even notice until Ahsoka points it out to him. How did he not hear her hit it? How did he not feel that? In the confusion of the exploding jetpack, Dumb and Dumber manage to escape, chased by Bo-Katan, but they get away.

Then Lux fucks off in the escape pod, the end.

And apparently the next time Ahsoka runs into Bo-Katan, they're besties and join forces to free Mandalore. Guess Ahsoka kinda forgot about the whole slavery, village torching and innocent people she murdered, huh? Yeah, guess so. Bo-Katan fucking sucks, she doesn't get a redemption, the narrative just wants you to forget all the atrocities she commits because she doesn't want Maul to be her leader. Zuko she ain't.

Ahsoka majorly screws up her assignment, puts senators in danger and gets some guards killed, Lux is so braindead that he blindly trusts the most obviously evil pack of killers he could find. I'd say he needs a helmet, but I don't think its possible for him to get anymore brain damage.

TCW is massively overrated, this is a hill I will die on.

[sorry-but-no-sorry]

Come unravel the pain, the humor, and the brotherhood that are the lives behind your favorite shenanigans

Go and ask ET ! (Tissues and therapy bills not covered)

Main lore writer for Error and Reg and Beyond.

Any questions ask here, because I’m the one hurting @sorry-but-no-sorry and my own feelings by coming up with the lore.

[ambrossart]

Very random ask but what do you think the main casts favourite movie would be?

Okay, I had a lot of help from @misszura on this one because it was pretty tough. So we did a little brainstorming and this is what we came up with.

Evelyn

Generally, Evelyn tends to prefer movies that are on the more wholesome side.

Her favorite genres include fantasy, adventure, romance, and maybe some of the more light-hearted horror movies like Gremlins. Scary, but not too scary.

The Wizard of Oz is a favorite of hers, also The Goonies, The Princess Bride, Labyrinth, The NeverEnding Story, Beetlejuice, Willow, Willy Wonka.

She likes her movies to have a little whimsy to them.

Michael J. Fox is one of her celebrity crushes (along with Jason Bateman), so she definitely likes Teen Wolf and Back to the Future

Grease is another favorite of hers. As mentioned in the story, she enjoys Olivia Newton-John’s music, and I could see her really identifying with Sandy’s character as well as her relationship with Danny.

I mean, "Hopelessly Devoted to You" might as well be the theme of Evelyn’s life, right?

Hannah-Beth forced her to watch Dirty Dancing during a sleepover, and Evelyn was surprised by how much she enjoyed it. Add Patrick Swayze to her list of celebrity crushes.

Lastly, since she spends a lot of time with kids, Evelyn watches a lot of animated movies as well.

The Land Before Time makes her bawl like a baby every time she watches it.

Henry

Henry’s not big into movies.

He doesn’t have a ton of free time to just sit around, so I feel like most of his favorite movies are going to be ones he’s watched with Belch.

And I wouldn’t even say he has “favorites” honestly

So he’ll watch a lot of action movies, your classics: Mad Max, Die Hard, The Terminator, First Blood, Predator, Commando.

Horror movies also appeal to him.

Henry enjoys watching weak people suffer and die at the hands of some great, unstoppable force.

So your classic slashers: Friday the 13th, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street.

He also enjoys Evil Dead and Hellraiser

But again, his level of engagement and enjoyment is going to be a lot lower than everyone else’s.

He has a hard time completely escaping into movies.

Patrick

Patrick’s another one who doesn’t feel any kind of special attachment to movies.

They’re all the same to him. He may as well be watching TV static.

He enjoys horror movies, though, but only when he’s watching them with other people. He finds their terrified reactions extremely fascinating and entertaining.

This concept could apply to any genre, I suppose, but horror tends to elicit the most intense response from people—girls, especially.

That being said, there are certain movies that stand out in his memory.

He was really looking forward to Cannibal Holocaust because of all the controversy surrounding it: the snuff film allegations, animal cruelty, etc.

It was a bit of a letdown.

Patrick was very disappointed to learn that nobody actually died while filming it. He was hoping it was a real snuff film. Those are a lot of fun.

As we know, Patrick likes dystopian literature, so A Clockwork Orange was right up his alley. He also enjoyed the book.

Otherwise, Patrick mostly just watches a bunch of weird (and illegal) shit.

Vic

Vic’s one of those people who tends to criticize every movie he watches.

Would I call him a snob? A little bit

Growing up, he ruined a lot of Evelyn’s favorite movies by exposing all the plot holes, continuity mistakes, and factual errors.

It got to the point where Evelyn almost stopped watching movies with him entirely.

Almost.

If given the choice, young Evelyn would have gladly had all her movies ruined if it meant spending time with Victor.

But anyway...

If Vic had to pick a favorite genre, it would probably be science fiction, movies like Blade Runner, Alien, Dune.

He doesn’t like to advertise these interests, so if anyone asked, he’d probably just say action or horror and be done with it.

Sci-fi is for nerds and geeks, after all.

Belch

Belch probably has the most diverse movie tastes of everyone

That boy will watch anything, truly anything.

As mentioned in Henry’s section, he loves all the classic 80s action movies, especially the ones starring Schwarzenegger, Stalone, or Segal, but he also enjoys a good comedy: movies like Police Academy and Animal House, Stripes, Blues Brothers.

A lover of baseball, Belch has watched The Bad News Bears many times, especially when he was younger.

This Is Spinal Tap is another favorite of his. Christie actually introduced him to that one.

Horror movies? They’re not his personal cup of tea, but they’re fun to watch with a group or on a date (especially on a date)

When he’s with Christie, he usually lets her pick the movie, so he watches a lot of John Hughes movies. Belch doesn’t mind.

He just likes movies in general.

[vodika-vibes]

Requesting some more love for Boss please!

Wanted

Summary: You and Boss are on the run from the Empire.

Pairing: Clone Commando Boss x Reader

Word Count: 944

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: I'm not sure I'm happy with this, but I have a migraine forming, so this is all I have. Sorry.

“Rules are meant to be broken,” You proclaim, as you wave your wrench towards Boss, who stares at you with a single raised brow.

“That thought, cyare, is why you’re wanted on 13 planets.”

“Wrong!” Your wrench slips out of your hand and clatters to the floor of the ship loudly, “That’s because the Empire ain’t shit!”

He rolls his eyes, “Anyway,” Boss says, “Since we can no longer hide on Daiyu-”

“-that isn’t my fault-” You interrupt.

“Since we can’t hide out on Daiyu anymore,” Boss continues as if you hadn’t spoken, “Where should we go next?”

You stoop to pick up your wrench and shove it into its place, “Outer Rim, maybe? Or Wild Space is an option.”

“I was kind of hoping that you would offer a name,” Boss says with a sigh, “But sure, let’s start with Outer Rim worlds, they’re not likely to bend to the Empire.”

You grin at him, and enthusiastically fling your arms around his neck. He sighs but wraps his arms around your waist, “How about Tatooine?”

“Mm. Sand, sun, slaves, and Hutts. My four most favorite things in the galaxy.” Boss says sarcastically. 

You laugh, “No one will look for us there.” You tempt.

“Right. Until you somehow piss off the Hutt Cartel and we have to run from both the Empire and the Hutts.”

“You make it sound like I go around insulting people all the time.” You say with a pout.

“You told the Grand Moff to take a long walk off a short pier and then broke his nose, and frankly I’m surprised that you lived to meet me in the first place.”

“I take issue with fascists.” You sniff.

He lightly squeezes your hips, “I need you to chill the fuck out, cyare. I’m looking for my brothers, which I can’t do when we’re being chased from Imperial worlds.”

“So you want me to behave?”

“That would be a nice change from normal.” Boss counters.

You rest your forehead against his chest plate, and then sigh, “Fine. We can hide out on Tatooine, just long enough for the heat to die down, and then we’ll go back to Imperial space and look for Fixer, Scorch, and Sev.”

“Thank you, cyare.” He kisses your forehead and then releases you to head towards the cockpit, “The ship isn’t going to fall apart on me when I try to jump to hyperspace, is it?”

“No! Er…probably not.”

“Try to keep the ship from blowing up on us, please cyare.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll do my best.” You turn back to the engines, and open the net to run a quick google search.

While you know how you ended up in this situation (a comedy of errors that started with you getting into a fist fight with someone who used to be part of the 501st and ended with you on the run from the Empire with a former Clone Commando), sometimes you have a hard time comparing what your life used to be to what it’s become.

You were an art student, once. Sure, an art student with anarchist tendencies who was anti government and anti war and went to protests and organized riots from time to time, but you were still an art student. 

And now here you are, slowly working your way up the Empires shit list.

Honestly, the best thing that’s happened to you in the last year is meeting Boss.

You glance towards the cockpit, where Boss is removing some of the bulkier pieces of his armor for comfort, and a small smile crosses your face.

Boss just appeared on your doorstep about a year ago. He had been beaten half to death and needed help, and you’re still not sure how he found you, but you’re glad that he did.

You managed to patch him up, and when he admitted that there was something rotten in the former Republic and that he was looking for his brother, you jumped at the chance to help him.

Anything was better than sitting around and watching as Palpatine destroyed everything good and honest and true in the galaxy.

And six months after that, when you were hiding from Imperial soldiers on Dantooine, you kissed him. And he kissed you back. And then he kissed you again and again.

And now here you are, six months later, in a relationship with a man who you never would have met if the Empire hadn’t taken over. 

Silver linings, right?

“Cyare? How are we looking?” Boss calls from the cockpit.

“I think we’re good. At least, according to the schematics I’m looking at online.” You say as you step out of the engine room and shut the door behind you.

He glances at you, “Alright. Then grab your seat, and we’ll see if we can’t make it to Tatooine.” You grin and climb into the co-pilot’s seat, tucking your feet under you, you turn your attention on him, and smile adoringly.

“What?”

“Just thinking about how we met.” You reply.

He glances at you, and a small smile crosses his face, “Smartest thing I’ve ever done. Right up there with kissing you on Dantooine and that night on Rishi.”

“You really liked that night on Rishi.” You say with a laugh.

“I liked the outfit you were wearing, and the way you looked under the moonlight,” Boss says easily, “And I really liked the way that you looked at me.”

You laugh and stretch out, “I really liked that night on Rishi too. We should do that more often.”

“Once we’re safe.” Boss promises, he focuses on the navigation computer, “Ready to go, cyare?”

“Ready.”

[azspot]

And, really, what can one say about Objectivism? It isn’t so much a philosophy as what someone who has never actually encountered philosophy imagines a philosophy might look like: good hard axiomatic absolutes, a bluff attitude of intellectual superiority, lots of simple atomic premises supposedly immune to doubt, immense and inflexible conclusions, and plenty of assertions about what is “rational” or “objective” or “real.” Oh, and of course an imposing brand name ending with an “-ism”. Rand was so eerily ignorant of all the interesting problems of ontology, epistemology, or logic that she believed she could construct an irrefutable system around a collection of simple maxims like “existence is identity” and “consciousness is identification”, all gathered from the damp fenlands between vacuous tautology and catastrophic category error. She was simply unaware that there were any genuine philosophical problems that could not be summarily solved by flatly proclaiming that this is objectivity, this is rational, this is scientific, in the peremptory tones of an Obersturmführer drilling his commandoes.

David Bentley Hart