#complain i wont go on holidays but no one goes where i want to go so what do u expect lol

[bisidneycarter]

its so crazy how i refUSE to go on a holiday but would come to an agreement over something of one if we went to the costswolds for it

but for some reason we just arent going to the cotswolds? ?

[b000mbayah]

Without

Warnings: I wrote this last year when I was dumb so ignore how putrid it is :)

Word count: 2k

Snow gliding through the sky as it piles up on the concrete streets. The sky is cloudy as a mist fogs up our surroundings. Streets of Seoul full of people looking for gifts for relatives. The festive holiday is coming up and people are able to spend the day with loved ones. I used to be one of those people.

I lost my true love a month ago. It was a stupid argument over the most irrelevant thing imaginable, I was just so fuming at the time that I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. It was a trap, either way I was screwed. If I had continued the argument it would have worsened and if I had stopped earlier she still would have left me.

I could see in her eyes that she was broken due to the amount of times I've done this to her. I broke her again... I've broken her for the last time, and now she's gone.

If I had said sorry she would have left, if I begged she would have left, if I had just stopped myself from shouting in the first place. She's scared of me now, her eyes so full of fear as she trembled on the spot. I'll never forget the way she looked at me every time.

The following mornings were full of me proving to her that I loved her whether she wanted it or not. I would have done anything to make her forgive my foolish actions, couldn't do that last month though. It all seems pointless, love. I mean there are positive and negative outlooks on love.

Love can fill you with pure joy and excitement to the point that you forget the numbness that you'll feel after it's over with.

It leaves you broken as if you're a ship with treasure that crashes onto land, losing all its precious moments and times as everything inside spills out, never to be found again.

There are more negatives to love than positives and I swear that I'll never forget her, she was the one I loved most and I let go of her hand, I let her slip and now she's gone.

watching her on stage made me cry every time, hearing the news JYP sent out made me depressed... hearing that she had to have a break from her schedules made me feel guilty.

I look around my room as I retreat away from the window, empty takeaway boxes and cans all around my room. My eyes droop down to my phone on the floor.

Cautiously, I crouch down and pick the electronic up off of the ground. I bite my lip as all my notifications pop up. Multiple miss calls and text messages from all my contacts.

I tap on my messages to see hundreds upon hundreds of messages from my contacts, all of my contacts had text me, all but one. The one that had deleted my number, I refuse to delete hers though, it contains too many memories for me to simply release into a void.

I gulp as I click onto Jihyo's contacts as our last conversation over the phone comes up. All of this was just before the final argument. I was questioning where she was and when she'd get home. She was only practicing with her other members in their dance studio, I let my jealousy get the best of me, again..

I throw the phone at the wall as I got dressed and headed out, I can't say in my apartment forever. I forced myself out the door for the building and into the chilly winter breeze. I inhaled and exhaled the fresh air before taking steps towards the supermarket.

Layers of trampled snow surround the street. As I pass shops I take a simple look inside.

"Y/N!" I turn on my heel to be greeted with my best friend running up to me, a member of twice. I let out a broken smile as sana springs up to me with a massive grin and arms open.

Within seconds she gives me a bone crushing hug. ''y/n, please tell me you're okay?" sana rushes in a speed faster than chaeyoungs rapping skills.

"yeah, I'm just.... Upset about the situation" I frown as she gives me a look of sadness. She nods her head and opens her mouth, "I'm upset as well, I really liked you two together" sana smiles at her words as I gulp, she really liked us together?

"I've been trying to contact you for weeks and weeks but nothing, please may I take you to dinner? You look like you haven't been eating the correct amount of food, I need to stuff you up I time for Christmas" sana says with a worried tone

"s-sure" I stutter out as she grabs my hand and takes me through crowds of people that surround the streets and up to a fancy restaurant where richer people would dine. "w-we cat eat here, it's to expensive, I don't want to cost you that much money"

"no y/n, it's okay, it's nothing really only a few hundred. My clothes are worth more than this'' sana giggles out as she gets us a table with a view of a frozen pond. It took us what? Twenty minutes to get here for a view I'd a pond with what's most likely to be frozen fish inside. I'm not complaining but like those poor fish...

"Take your time, when you're ready to order please ring this bell" a waiter explains as she hands us the menus. We thank her before she walks away.

"what do you fancy getting?" sama asks as I scan the menu's dishes. "urm, the... Mmmm"

"steak?" sana asks me as u nod and go along with the choice. Sana hums as she also decides on what she's getting. I ring the bell as the waiter from before comes back with a pen and notepad.

"what can I get for you ladies?" they ask as sana gives him the order. He bows and leaves us. I turn my head to sana who's wearing a permanent smile right now.

"please come round to our dorm, the girls miss you" I tilt my head before nodding.

"sure but I may have to avoid jihyo" sana frowns at my words but nods her head.

Soon after the meal I ended up at the dorm. Still have no idea how I'm going to deal with this but I'm just going to have to hope for the best I guess. Sana pushes the door open silently, we take our shoes off before continuing on. As we creeped up on tzuyu, even though there was no point, I managed to make eye contact with momo who was eating the packet of cookies I had sent her months ago. She must be really far behind in her food gifts if she's only eating them now.

I place a finger to my own lips as she nods and watches with curiosity filling her eyes.

As we were practically behind Tzuyu we both leap at the same time, causing tzuyu to let out a yelp as we all tumble to the floor. I let out a giggle as tzuyu groans due to the impact. "Get off of me you pathe- y/n?" tzuyu changes the subject half way through as notices me. I smile and give her a small wave. "what are you doing here?" she questions looking at me like she's trying to read me.

oh so I'm a book now????

"I invited her-" I cut sana off, "she dragged me here, oh it was awful, she demanded it and she explained how she would burn down my house and throw me in a ditch if I didn't come" I dramatically say as sana huffs out a gush of air.

"alright then... If you say so but please get off of me, you're both killing me" tzuyu states as we stand back up, dusting ourselfs off.

We enter the living room to see everyone here, including Jihyo...

"Y/N!" everyone in the room exclaims but Sana, Tzuyu and Jihyo. I somehow become covered with six different females as they squeeze me like a teddy bear. Once they all release me, I give them a wide smile and bow as they copy my action.

"y/n, how have you been? We've been busy with-" and I couldn't hear anything dahyun was saying, I am way more focused on Jihyo. Her expression is unreadable as she gulps from time to time. her eyes dart around to find an excuse to leave but nothing comes to her mind.

As soon as she looks up we lock eye contact. I forgot how much I loved those eyes, her eyes show dedication, passion, strength, love... All the things I wish I had. I probably sound whipped for her and the truth is, I am. I would do anything for us to get back together but that wont happen.

"right y/n?" I break eye contact as I respond with a simple nod since my throat is sore from all the crying and screaming I've been doing. I really have been beating myself up over this break up.

"I said that her hair looked like a donkey on steroi-" and blank out again as I make eye contact once again with Jihyo. Only this time we break it for a few seconds before reuniting our eyes.

Without me or Jihyo noticing, Tzuyu manages to take the other members away to give us alone time. Once we realise they're gone an awkward situation is placed between us...

"how have you been?" she begins as she examines the pictures hung on the walls. "pretty bad, you?" I respond as she gulps down on air. "same, what's your reason?"

I freeze, thinking on if should I tell her the truth or not? There's nothing wrong with the truth. "if I'm honest... I've been beating myself up about the breakup, I'm deeply sorry for how I treated you Jihyo. That month I had spent alone had given me time to reflect on my behaviour and what I have done" Jihyo looks at me with an interested look but there's also something else there. "continue..."

"the way I treated you during that relationship was completely irresponsible, I had spent that entire month locked up in my apartment crying about what I had done, I was so frustrated with myself that I couldn't bring myself to forget about it and I'm sorry if I'm invading your personal space by being here but I really hope that one day you can forgive me" my voice goes shaky towards the end as tears form in the corner of my eyes. Jihyo looks me up and down, about to say something when the door opens up.

I watch as a male walks up to Jihyo, I could only see the back of his head as he's asking her questions before turning around to face me. RM? "she doesn't want to see you, please leave her alone she has me now."

My eyes widen in shock but I bow and apologise once again before rushing out crying again. I rush past the other members who share a look of concern before chase after me calling my name. I ignore them though and continue to rush my way out of that place, not wanting to be there anymore due to the once sweet but  now awful memories I have there.

[silverandarsenic-hcs]

Alright so November's comin up and that means I gotta start thinkin of how imma be celebrating day of the dead so I was wondering..how would the papas react to their Hispanic s/o giving them a lil day of the dead sugar skull makeover? Would they let them do it in the first place?(Copiaisoptionallmao)

i just cried off my eyeliner from laughing that you put (copiaisoptional) so thank you for that i havent laughed that hard since i was a little girl. 

Also, I love this idea but im having a hard time momentarily existing in a universe where any of the papa’s or copia would refuse any sort of make up. honestly, I think they’d all be fully down for whatever you wanted them to do, be it just makeup, or celebrating with you. Also please be warned I do not know a lot about this holiday, and I tried to do a little research but every website told me that everyone celebrates it a little differently, so i thought id be best to keep it a little more vague in terms of like Specific Things They Would Do. (also if you know anywhere i can find a comprehensive guide to this holiday where i could actually learn more about it that isnt from wikipedia I would very much enjoy reading that!!!)  I hope you like it: 

Papa I: is excited to learn about his s/o religious traditions no matter what they are, even if they don’t align with his own beliefs.. he’s old, and he does always say “cant teach an old dog new tricks”, but you can teach an old dog new things about a culture he doesn’t know much about. 

Papa II: I wouldn’t expect him to get all giddy and excited about it, but he’ll definitely do the things with you. He’ll let you pain his face and he’ll go to as many celebrations with you as you want, and he wont even complain once. He likes the idea that there’s a specific set of days for everyone to mourn the ones theyve lost rather than just their birthdays or the anniversaries of their death, and says he finds it unifying that everyone can come together to celebrate the lives of their friends and family who have passed. 

Papa III: Like i said, down for wearing any sort of makeup, especially when he doesn’t have to put it on himself, and especially when it comes to supporting his s/o. shockingly enough, this papa knows a lot about the day of the dead already, as he spent a lot of his alone time when he was young (looking in the mirror and) researching other religions and beliefs and traditions - he was searching for something more colorful he could throw himself into rather than plain old black and white church he was already a part of. Though he did become a Papa, that knowledge stuck with him, so he’s more than happy to finally be able to see it celebrated in his real life. 

Cardinal Copia: now that its WILDLY apparent I dont like copia i dont think any of you are gonna believe me that I genuinely think this Nice Copia thing, but here we go. He’s literally so excited about this. He always goes way overboard so he’ll spend a week staying up all night (if not weeks) learning about the holiday’s history and traditions and how his s/o celebrates. By the end he’ll probably know more things and random facts about it than they do. 

- Judith

[go-diane-winchester]

Cockles vs J2 Tinhats

Someone tagged me in a post with a gif of Jensen smacking Misha in the crotchel region in last year's gag reel.  You know the one.  Apparently, it is supposed to be proof of Cockles.  The person who tagged me ships destiel and cockles.  She put a smiley face next to the tag, and she followed me, which might mean she is trying to be friends.  Not sure.  Well hello hun.  Thanks for tagging me.  I don't know what the purpose is.  Maybe you want me to see what you see.  Hunny, I know what cockles is.  I am familiar with tinhatting and I am fairly thick-skinned about it.  So unless you take the hatty stuff to the actors, I have problem with you...the cockles tinhats actually do tweet hatty things to the actors.  Hmm, not cool. 

This will be a good opportunity to examine both Cockles and J2 tinhat theories.  And why that clip is not proof of cockles for me. Just for fun. 

Jensen and Misha

As a lead, Jensen is contracted to be in every episode.  Misha, a guest star, is only in a few episodes per season.  This means that these two actors don't get to spend a massive amount of time with each other unless they are working.  Misha lives, to the best of my knowledge, in Bellingham.  Jensen used to live in California, but moved to Austin.  Jensen usually does only one panel per year with Misha.  Jibcon.  If it weren't for conventions, they would spend even less time with each other.  If you love some one and you are a lead, wont you ask for more panels with that person.  Yes, I know someone will that they don't do more than one panel because the evil bronlies will complain.  Hunny, if they cared about fans throwing a tantrum, Misha would have been off the show the minute Jensen received a death threat from hellers.

Misha and Jensen have no common interest.  Jensen loves watching sports, playing golf, listening to rock music, playing the guitar and singing.  Misha likes, cycling, carpentry and Tibetan throat singing.  They have nothing in common.  If you like someone who has different interests than you, wouldn't you try to learn more about their interests and join them in pursuing their interests.  Jensen and Misha also don't have complimentary personalities.  Jensen doesn't swear on stage.  Misha is foul mouthed.  Jensen doesn't make overtly sexual remarks.  Misha is very vulgar on stage.  They outlook on the art of acting is also starkly different.  Jensen has a love for his craft, whilst Misha has confessed to not having a particular knack or passion for acting.   

According to tinhats, Cockles are happily marreid to their respective wives but all four of them have orgies together.  Of course, there are variations to this theory.  When cockles tinhats are asked what proof they have for how they feel, they say:

Jensen laughs at Misha's jokes [and its a unicorn laugh apparently]

They mention Jibcon, where they claim Jensen got drunk and flirted with Misha on stage. 

Jensen and Misha are flirty with each other, caressing each other's cheeks. 

Jared Padalecki is proof of cockles because he ships it the most and gives clues to what is going on between Jensen and Misha. 

They share shirts. 

The crux of Misha's first impression of Jensen [from an earlier con]: 

‘He actually seemed standoffish, when I first met him.  As I got to know him, however, I realized that he really is standoffish.’

Jared and Jensen

Jared and Jensen are the leads.  They spend nine months out of the year working with each other.  They have worked together nonstop for the past 13 years and counting.  They also live down the road from each other in Austin.  They used to live together and were best men at each other's weddings.  Their children go to the same school and call dad's friend ''uncle''.  Tom is Jensen's greatest fan and Jared regrets not being there for the birth of ''Birdie'' [JJ].  They have an extended family situation.  Despite spending all their time together, they also go on holidays together.  They are both middle children, both have an older brother and younger sister, grew up in Texas, love country music and sports.  Jared plays the guitar in his trailer everyday and, according to Jensen, he is very good.  Jared joins Jensen to play golf although he admits he is not very good at it. 

Jared doesn't swear on stage.  He did once, by accident, but he was mortified and apologized.  He makes goofy jokes, not vulgar ones.  Jensen admires Jared's rendition of white suit luci but to date hasn't really said anything truly about Casifer.  He did laugh at the Empty!Cas voice though.  So Jensen admires Jared's acting efforts.  It wasn't the first compliment he paid to Jared's acting abilities.  He hasn't done the same for Misha's work as Castiel.  Jared helped Jensen with the construction work for the FBBC.  When Jared got sick at Jib a few years ago, Jensen took to the stage and sang a song because being Jared's emotional support.  The next year or so, he sang the song again on Saturday night, with Jared watching teary eyed.  That same year Jensen hugged Jared in the closing ceremony.  The year after that, Jensen hugged and sang Wayward to Jared in the hallway after the closing ceremony.  When he broke down, he hugged Jared many times, but when Misha tried hugging him, Jensen said ''don't''.    

According to J2 tinhats, J2 have been married to each other since season four ish.  Genevieve signed a contract to be Jared's wife, and Danneel was just helping out her friend Jensen.  J2 are the parents of six children.  There are variations to this theory too.  When asked for proof of their feelings, J2 tinhats say the following:

Jared wiped his snotty nose on Jensen's sleeve.

Jared called his drink and dinner with Jensen #datenight on Twitter.

When someone called Sandy [Jared's ex-girlfriend] his beard, she liked the comment.

When Travis spent his entire panel talking about how in love J2 are, he got pulled out of the next con. 

For Jared's honeymoon, he went on a group trek up Machu Pichu and slept in a tent, and for Jensen's honeymoon, Danneel's brother Gino went with them.   Both were delayed honeymoons. 

Jared wore Jensen's underwear.

The crux of Jared's first impression of Jensen [from a recent afternoon panel]:

'He and I had so much in common.  It didn't feel like a blind date.'

I don't tinhat, but I don't blame the J2 tinhat.  The Cockles tinhats don't seem to have compelling info, and they take the hatting to the stars.  That is not cool. 

As far as the gag reel goes, smacking someone in the crotch area is not a sign of affection.  It is horseplay.  Its pranking.  Jared fondles Misha in the crotch area.  Misha barreled into Richard, landing on top of him.  Its not a big deal, and its certainly not sound evidence of anything other than boys being boys.  Enjoy your hatting, but leave the actors alone and don't go out of your way to pull people into your circle.  But the J2 tinhats don't do that?  As far as I know. 

Forgive all typos.  Insomnia sucks!

[clown-bait]

A Very Monster Christmas (Monster Roommate AU) Pt2

WOWW I finally got this out. This one was hard cause theres so much dialogue and I’ve also been dealing with a lot of vacations and work shit going on in my personal life. Finally getting this done though! Lots of Freddy in this chapter. 

-----------------

Gifts

Charles Lee Ray sat up from his bed with a scream. The doll frantically checked his body where moments ago clown/vampire hell spawn had been tearing into his rubber synthetic skin. His wife groaned and rolled over greedily pulling the sheets with her, it was too damn early to deal with Chucky’s bullshit.

“J-just a dream just a fuckin’ dream” he mumbled Tiff flipped onto her back and stared at the ceiling through her eye mask. “It’s six in the damn morning Chucky” she growled.

“I’m gonna go downstairs and everything will be fine and normal and Fangs will be smoking a bowl and not filled with demons.”

“Chucky.”

“And they wont explode out of her and eat me alive.”

“Chucky!”

“And Jingles wont be fuckin’ laughing at me”

“CHUCKY!!” Tiff ripped off her eye mask as she sat up. “IT’S SIX IN THE FUCKING MORNING.”

The killer doll stared shocked and silent at his enraged spouse.

“Go back to sleep.” she grumbled as she attempted to lay down again.

“Look its a valid fear.” Chucky began to ramble and Tiff’s eyes slowly rolled back open. “You saw what happened when we had the twins!! Think about what their hell-spawn will look like!”

“Most of what happened was your fault dear.”

“Ok but Jingles and Fangs are both twice as unstable as we are! At least I don't look at a fuckin toddler and think breakfast!”

“I think you’re letting him get to you. By the way did you tell the clown the kids are coming?” Tiff asked deciding that going back to sleep wasn't an option at this point. Chucky’s eyes went wide.

“Fuck.”

“YOU FORGOT?! If he tries to eat them you're gonna be in a load of trouble!”

“Tiff! it'll be fine! At the worst he’ll just eat Glenn and thats not so bad is it?”

“CHUCKY!”

“All right, all right! I’ll let him know sheesh.”

The doll slipped on a Christmas sweater depicting some sort of reindeer gang bang and shuffled down the stairs of the old house. He heard a loud pleasured groan coming from the couch which usually meant one of two unsavory things in this house both of which Chucky would rather not witness.

“Hey Jingles put your dick away my kids are coming over!” he shouted down from the middle of the stairs deciding that proceeding any further would result in seeing something that would ruin his holiday before it even began. The doll was answered with a gruff swear and grumbling.

“Did you hear me clown?” he called down the steps again.

“Shut up Chuck I'm trying to enjoy my holiday!” a shout called out through the rotting halls.

“Krueger? The fuck are you doing here?” Chucky groaned walking down the stairs and into the room then quickly turned around and swore when he saw the scene on the couch.

“Getting laid jackass what does it look like?” Freddy grumbled zipping up his pants as Chris popped his head up his hair a total sweaty mess under Freddy’s signature fedora.

“You have your own damn house for that shit! Where the fuck is Jingles?” the doll turned away. Great holiday already ruined.

“He’s throwing up with Fangs in the basement.”

“And here I thought you were the freak.” Chucky rolled his eyes.

“He is.” Chris added wiping his mouth.

“Oh come on Chrissy you haven't been complaining.” the dream demon swung a clawed hand over his shoulders in a way that came off more as threatening than affectionate. His knife tipped fingers dug slightly into the humans shirt and a disgusting rotten tongue peaked out from between Freddy’s ruined lips.

“I’m fucking you cause I have nothing left.” Chris flinched at Freddy’s touch.

“Isn’t he great?” the dream demon grinned.

“Yeah pretty sure you traumatized this guy.” Chucky folded his arms over his chest

“Nah Fangs traumatized him, I just cleaned up her mess and stole her leftovers.”

“Your friends are awful people.” Chris hissed at Freddy.

“You’re not wrong buddy! Speaking of I need to find Jingles before he eats my kids or whatever.” Chucky turned to make his way to the kitchen.

“Wow you're a real model parent Chuck.” Freddy called after him striking a nerve.

“Like you know anything about being a dad.” The doll turned around and snapped.

“I do! I was great at it!” Freddy leaned back clicking on the old tv.

“Didn’t your kid try to kill you?” Chucky squinted.

“Didn’t your’s?” Freddy cocked a ruined brow.

“I’m sensing a trend here within our community and our parenting abilities.” the doll said deep in thought.

“So how long do you think Jingles and Fangs will last?” Freddy smirked placing his hands over his head.

“I’ll give em a week.” Chucky laughed.

“Eleven minutes.” Chris chimed in and Freddy laughed.

“Harsh Chrissy. You're probably right.”

“Wellp I’ve lost focus back to bed for me.” Chucky stretched and yawned.

“You’re not going to tell Jingles to forgo the Christmas dinner? Tiff’s gonna cut your nuts off.” Freddy began making a dramatic snipping motion with his claws inches from his human’s nose for dramatic effect.

“Eh knowing Glenda she’ll probably scare him first.”

Freddy laughed and placed his arm around his captive once again as the movie he was looking for began to play. “There goes a very brave and stupid man Chrissy.”

“Fuck you too Fred.”

———————————————

“Hey Pen? Is there any way you can make me forget that?” Leech groaned her back against the clown’s as the pair waited for the nausea to die down in the basement. One of his eyes peeled open and a single molten pupil rolled back in her direction. Pennywise let out a long disgusted growl at the memory he'd just received.

“I’d like to do the same for myself” he finally muttered out and felt a chuckle vibrate against him.

“Well I got the next best thing if you’re interested.”

The eldritch exhaled a gravely sigh “For once, I'm not in the mood.”

“Yeah wasn't talking about that Pen. Sheesh and you say my mind is the one that’s always in the gutter!”

“It is.”

The clown sat up and turned his head to his mate as she pushed off him to walk over to a pile of ancient junk. Penny began making clicking vocalizations indicating interest and skittered up to her the sound of insectile limbs that weren't there trailed behind him as he moved. His noises got louder and Leech felt a large presence behind her trying to nose its way into what she was doing. The vampire batted the giant beast away.

“No peeking big guy and no mind reading this is a surprise.” she scolded him Pennywise grumbled and turned around as she dug into her hiding place. He began to ponder how she was able to get past him when suddenly he got an idea and a faint glow began to illuminate from his eyes. “You have no idea how hard it was to keep this from you, I wanted to give it to you at the end of the celebrations but Fred had to go and be gross.” she rambled not even noticing that her mate had vanished. “I know you collect this shit so I threatened and tortured several people to get this done since you're incredibly hard to shop for.” she continued to ramble to nothing as she pulled out a large flat gift.

“Ok you can look n-Pen?” the nosferatu looked around behind her. “Pennywise?” she called out to him but got no response. “Oh come on I worked really hard on this!” Leech snarled in frustration. “Pen for real this is important to me where the fuck did you go?” after more silence the vampire sent a cacophony of curses into the air before letting out a frustrated screech. Leech felt her vision blur and her offspring threaten to take hold of her again as her temper flared. She grabbed her abdomen and fought them back. “Kids mamma loves you, but we have got to talk about our tantrums.” she grated out against their hold on her, trying to calmly slide Penny’s gift under her arm and climb up the stairs of the basement.

“I take back what I said about your father being a good mate, fucker has the attention span of a goldfish.” she felt a swell in her mind and slammed the door a little too hard behind her. “What don't agree with me? Please don't tell me you've already inherited his superiority complex, some of you gotta be at least a little like me to balance this household out.”

“WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO FANGS?” Freddy yelled from the couch.

“My spawn Freddy go back to getting your dick sucked!” she snarled at the dream demon.

“Man those kids are going to be fucked up!” he laughed “I’m already finished with that anyway get in here were watching Grinch!” Freddy heard a sigh and Leech grumpily placed the unopened christmas gift by the tree before flopping next to her friend and the man who cut off her finger only a few hours ago.  

“So you're dating someone.” the vampire side eyed the dream demon and made a face when she saw he hadn't bothered to put pants back on.

“You can talk to me too you know I'm right here.” Chris grumbled.

“I’m fucking someone theres a difference Fangs.” He huffed.

“If you were just fucking you wouldn't have brought him home.”

“Wow again right here-”

“Be grateful I didn't eat you too Chris.” Leech snapped.

“What a surprise, the vampire is getting moody. This is why Im fucking a human way less bitchy.” Freddy rolled his eyes and cleaned his fingernails with his claws.

Leech hissed low in her throat as her upper lip twitched over her fangs in warning. Chris quivered a bit in fear remembering the last time he heard such noises. Her mere presence alone made him even more uneasy in this house now it sounded like she was about to snap again.

“I-I oh god how did I end up here what have I done.…” the human ran his fingers through his hair and Freddy rolled his eyes. Great another damn break down.

“All right babe deep breath daddy Freddys here shhh.”

Leech looked up from the dusty decrepit tv “Wellp I’m leaving.”

“Oh yeah like I don't have to endure this all the time from you!”

“Daddy really?”

“You call the clown Snuggle Muffin!”

“Yeah when were alone. By the way Chris, Fred can regrow his fingers. Do me a favor since you owe me one and put him in his place.”

“Sheesh you're grumpy Fangs” Freddy rolled his eyes and placed his gloved hand around the human that Leech was pretty sure experiencing some form of Stockholm syndrome.

“All my friends are dead.”

“Did we traumatize him?” she asked the dream demon.

“I dunno probably. Rides a dick like a slut though!”

“Well I'm glad someones having a Merry Christmas.”

“Hey fangs do me a favor and open the damn red box already I'm getting real tired of your moping. Put up with that enough from Drac.”

“What?”

“Look behind you moron.”

Leech glanced behind her and saw a perfectly wrapped gift sitting in the center of the archway a balloon tied to it sitting unnaturally still in the dim light of the house.

“That motherfucker!” the vampire swore as she stood to pick up the package. It was impossibly light in her hands and there was a little tag hanging off the end. The nosferatu gently opened it and her scowl shifted into a warm smile

Me first Peachy.

It read in poor crimson handwriting with a smiling heart shaped balloon in the corner. The nosferatu’s un-beating heart was practically singing as she tore off the wrapping. She didn't even expect Pennywise to participate and yet he got her a gift! Leech lifted the lid and was flung backwards as something enormous sprung from the present like a giant demonic jack in the box. IT cackled with glee through its horrible rows of sharp teeth as it shot up almost too big to fit in the room. Leech scampered back in surprise and shock claws tearing into the couch as she screamed in reflex to being caught completely off guard.

“I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU” she yelled at the cackling clown that was swaying back and forth holding his sides. Behind her Freddy snorted joining in on the laughter and chris had fainted from shock. “That was fuckin amazing Jingles!” the dream demon shouted to the clown who couldn't stop his cackling.

“YOUR KIDS ARE GOING TO GROW UP FATHERLESS CAUSE I’M GOING TO KICK YOUR RUFFLED ASS ALL THE WAY BACK TO WHATEVER HOLE YOU CRAWLED OUT OF YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF- whats this?” Leech began to scream at him but stopped when a huge box was presented to her, the fang filled grin on her clown growing even wider.

“Take iT!” the beast hissed.

“I don’t trust you anymore” Leech narrowed her eyes at him.

“Take iiiitttt!!!”

“If anything jumps out at me or bites me or screams at me I am not letting you have the second half of your present.”

“Mouth or ass Fangs?!” came a shout from the couch.

“FREDDY I SWEAR TO GOD! ……………….mouth….”

“Heh nice.”

Penny’s smile closed in realization “Wait ass is an option now?”

“We’re not going there.” Leech sighed not wanting to discuss THAT again with him. She opened the large case then quickly shut it. “PEN! This is a fucking guitar case!”

“Oh shit looks like Jingles is getting both tonight eh sweet lips?!” Freddy elbowed the dazed and traumatized human who was currently questioning every choice he had made in the last twenty four hours.

“I only had to threaten one person to get your gift” Penny smirked, finally climbing out of the small red box and shrinking back to what could be considered normal size. He shook himself a bit and begun to fix his hair “Your servant scares easy, I almost made a meal of him.” he snickered while twirling the top of his baby curl into place. “Well go on then play us a tune Peachy.” he grinned a little too satisfied with himself for Leech not to be suspicious.

Leech took the instrument out of its case and inspected it carefully. She certainly wasn't amazing at guitar but after traveling with a band for so long she picked up the ability to play a few songs. Her fingers ran up along the neck and brushed a small chain she quickly pulled her hand back in fear that it was another trick from the clown. Which it was judging from the excited grin on Penny’s face as his mate’s fingers traced solid gold chain.

Leech glanced up and glared at him. “What the fuck is this? Where the hell did you get this Pen?”

Pennywise placed his finger on her cool lips stopping the confused swearing from pouring from her mouth. The clown gave her a cheesy wink and with his other hand reached into his ruff. He gave a quick tug and plucked out an ancient tarnished silver bell which he presented to her in his palm not saying a word. Penny’s great blue eyes seared into hers in anticipation as Leech reached to take it but pulled her hand back with a hiss when the silver singed her skin. Pennywise seemed caught off guard then came to a realization swiping the gold chain from his mates hands. His large fingers closed around both objects and squeezed when he opened them the bell shined gold like his eyes before the kill. Pennywise fastened the bell to the necklace and held it up again this time with his signature goofy smile in place. “Pen seriously what is this?” Leech asked quietly now as she took the necklace and slipped it on.

“For you.” the clown grinned wider. “It’s part of me!”

“Just get married already!” Freddy yelled from the couch turning up the volume of the old tv.

“You motherfucker you know how I feel about sappy shit.” the nosferatu grinned twirling the bell in her fingers “Well? Go on get over here.” she smirked glancing up at him. Penny snaked his arms around his mate and held her against him “I hate you” the vampire mumbled into his costume rubbing her nose into his chest. “I hate you too.” Pennywise replied warmly he pulled her back and leaned in but Leech stopped his lips from pressing into hers.

“Hold that thought! I need to finally give you yours!”

“This is disgusting, were trying to watch a movie here!”

“Oh yeah says the guy who just moments ago was getting sucked off on my couch!” The vampire flipped Freddy’s hat off his head as she passed by him.

“At least we weren't doing any romcom crap!” He called after her

“You could always get out of my house.” the clown grumbled

“Nah I keep my bong here! Plus your sofa’s more comfortable than that victorian era piece of junk Drac has.”

“You people and your antique furniture. Ikea exists you know!” Chris grumbled.

“I’m cultivating eeriness human, also there better not be any stains Krueger.” Penny snarled.

“Like you'd be able to tell Jingles, this thing could probably get someone pregnant just by sitting on it…..wait is that what happened to you Fangs?”

Leech rolled her eyes at him while shoving her gift into Penny’s arms. “Freddy for once in your life just shut up.”

the clown clicked and rumbled tearing open the package with claws and teeth. then held the large frame out in front of him. “the derry circus!” he said excitedly and he viewed the poster. “featuring me!” he giggled with pride at the picture of his likeness grinning back at him and beckoning for someone to step closer.

“Had it custom done! Its not as amazing as what you gave me but I hope you like it.” Leech leaned back against the edge of the sofa behind her overly pleased with herself. Pennywise set the frame down and stalked forward pinning his mate against the couch with his hips long limbs wrapping around her. “You’ve given me plenty.” He grinned placing his large hand on her abdomen. “I didn't plan on that part.” the vampire smirked thumbing his ruffles in her fingers. “Comere asshole.” Leech hissed and pulled his ruffles. The clown leaned down and kissed her dipping her back so she could wrap her legs around him as he explored her mouth.

“Look I'm not complaining about the sex but this asshole’s about to swoop in and ruin Cindy Lou Hoo’s day and you two tend to get way too loud.”

Pennywise bit down on his mate’s lip then sunk his teeth into her neck bucking his hips sharply against her making Leech moan. “Ahhh! Penny!!” she shouted enthusiastically.

“I’m warning you Jingles if I miss the damn song I'm gonna be pissed!”

Penny clamped down harder and growled, loudly smacking Leech’s ass through her thin pajama shorts. The vampire hissed in response spurring her mate on to make deep lust filled vocalizations into her skin.

“FINE FUCK YOU THEN! Come on Chris if we hurry we can at least catch the ending.” the dream demon grumbled and yanked the human up who was eager to leave. A moment after their departure the vampires eyes flew open.

“Are they gone?” Leech panted claws running through her clowns hair. Penny grunted and retracted his fangs from her flesh. “Fuckin finally, the couch is ours!” she shouted hopping over the side. “I’m telling ya if I had to sit through The Grinch one more time this week I’d probably go postal.” Pennywise grumbled in agreement and stretched his back shaking himself out his after his spine made a series of loud pops and cracks. “That sounded terrible.” Leech commented thumbing through her movie collection.

“You kept me waiting in that box forever.”

“Aaawww does Pennywhine need a back rub?”

The impossibly tall monster leaned over the edge of the couch to glare at her. Leech grinned up at him and tapped him on the nose with a dvd sticking her tongue out to mock him. Penny snarled and lunged over the edge of the couch at her the two aggressively wrestling trying to pin the other against the sofa. Pennywise was on his way to victory as per-usual, when he saw his own eye color flash through Leech’s glossy blues. Suddenly his back was against the old couch claws pinned against the top his eyes narrowed at his captor.

“Using my offspring against me is cheating!” he snarled at her.

“Cheating? I call it leveling the playing field!” Leech scoffed. She planted an obnoxiously rough kiss on his lips and released him flopping over to the side and crossing her legs over the eldritch’s. The vampire picked up her white and black guitar and thumbed out a cheesy romantic christmas tune, softly singing aloud. Pennywise watched her for a moment taking note of the soft glow peeking out from under her shirt almost flashing to the rhythm of the music. She had a belly full of future dancing clowns. He smiled to himself, leaning back and shutting his eyes. In this moment things were absolutely perfect.

All until there was a honk and a banging at his front door.

--------------------------

Awww Pen’s so nice when he wants to be. 

[lombax-lombardi]

Team Sunshine Halloween Headcanons~

Yes I know it is no where near spoopy month BUT I was so drawn to these as I was thinking about them so I had to write them before I lost them forever.

Laken

Laken is pretty big on fall and of course, Halloween. Not as big as most people she knows and their kids but she does enjoy the moments she can get Wave out of her work.

Though both quiet most of the time they enjoy their comforting silence in warm clothing, scarves and hot drinks. Wave takes particular note of her girlfriend in amongst the warm lighting, her red feathers seem to pop amongst the oranges and yellows of the leaves and the grass.

Not to mention her golden eyes seem to contrast with the weather. The swallow shakes her head, trying to get such thoughts out of her head, except Laken kept squeezing her hands. “Stop thinking about work Wave” she would say as she takes a sip of her drink. And speaking of Halloween, Laken’s house was the place to be especially for the kids as her front porch is decorated. 

Decorated with pumpkins and all other hues of orange, the inside is equally as spooky with cobwebs and other assorted things. Wave was sitting in a nearby chair as Laken opened the door for the trick-or-treaters who always rang her doorbell. Wave sat there with a smile on her face. “Yeah...maybe we should have kids”

“Honey did you say something?”

“Nothing~”

Gracie

Since Gracie was a child, Fall and Halloween scared her. Namely because she was a rather sheltered little girl, she never really got to understand the magic of the holiday. She also probably wouldn’t know about it now if it wasn’t for Ruby, her young friend who would drag her shopping with her, along with Cream and Vanilla.

The cheery butterfly, along with her new sister and Mother, spend the day shopping and telling Gracie about every holiday in the book, birthdays and even the smallest thing to make someones day much better. Since Angel Island is the safest place for her to be since only a select few people can actually reach up there, she tells Knuckles all about her day with her friends. While he may not understand most of it, he is happy that she is happy.

And since it is Fall, which means Winter is around the corner, Gracie sometimes get forlorn as her powers are somewhat weaker during the cooler months. The sunlight helps but sometimes when she just wants to make a flower bloom it is a struggle. Which is why she was invited down to the Walters family house (dragging the grumpy Knuckles along as well) to celebrate Halloween.

Gracie of course, her eyes are wide the whole time, gripping her boyfriends hand as she supervised Ruby and Cream during their trick-or-treating. She did run into Mirabelle, Maddi’s sister who was babysitting Charmy, and was really glad she was having a good time.

“I’ll do this again next year!”

“You think so?”

“Yup. I won’t drag you down with me I know your Emerald is important to you...”

“....It’s fine”

Ruby

Watch out. You better watch out this kid is a fiend during the cooler months and on the holidays, she is sure to brighten up your day as is her wont in life. She spends days and days even weeks, cooking and sewing and doing all these things to be prepared for the holiday of the month.

It drives both her Mothers crazy, namely Sapphire who had to deal with most of it for a while but Vanilla would always sweetly say it makes her happy so Sapphire stops grumbling for a while. Ruby’s wings are already a lovely shade of orange and with trick light the normal white streaks turn black to match the Halloween festivities.

Ruby does run around with candy bag in hand, with Cream trailing behind her calling out her name for her to slow down. But she can’t because she has eaten so much sugar it’s hard for her to stop! Especially when she runs into her boyfriend on his way home, and she cannot stop talking because of the sugar rush.

“Easy Ruby calm down...how about you lay off the candy for a while?”

“ButbutbubtbutbutTailsyoudon’tunderstandI-”

“No I understand. Here have some water and please slow down for the others okay?”

“Hmph.”

Min

Min looks like a party person and is a party person, much to the chagrin of her girlfriend Rouge who would usually sit and watch the bunny dance the night away. However when it comes to dressing up nice, Rouge is the master of that especially when she took h er love out to lovely diners and such.

Min would complain sometimes about being dressed up so fancy but she secretly loved it and enjoyed being doted on by the one she loved. During the cooler months they would spend time together, bumping into their friends going about their daily lives while the two lovebirds just talked and held hands, Min dragging her girlfriend away from staring longingly at jewellery through the glass windows.

She probably go back and take them later anyway.

As for the night of Halloween, Rouge is the master of dressing up, she of course is a classic witch as for the outfit she chose for Min, what better outfit choice for a Bunny with Ice Powers, an Ice Queen. Min would grumble and moan but when looking in the mirror, absolutely blown away by how Rouge did her make up she gets over it.

And she gets even more compliments from the children who ring their door for treats. It made her heart sing.

“You know you are very charming for an Ice Queen my dear”

“Oh hush you!”

“Hahaha~”

 Rii

Rii likes to take the cooler months slowly, especially with being in a very good future despite some short comings. She spends most of her days in the park, watching the leaves fall as she goes through old photos of her and her friends.

She gets letters sent through time, from Sapphire and her family, Ruby and so forth. Ruby gives her all the details on people she is friends with, giving Rii some semblance of her old present life. However with Silver with her she feels like things will be better.

When Halloween comes around this is the moment that Rii takes to teach her boyfriend about the holiday, he knows little about it and it fills her heart with such glee to be able to teach him.

He feels a bit silly about dressing up but his girlfriend tells him that is what is the most fun about it, and seeing her so happy makes him happy.

“It’s worth it seeing the smile on your face”

“Huh? Did you say something?”

“N-Never mind~”

Maddi

Maddi loves dressing up but despises the cooler months since she hates being cold. And Shadow hates it when she is a grumpy as he is.

With coaxing from Ruby she dresses up for Halloween, which she would much prefer celebrating it at home but no her young little friend drags her out in the cool night air, dressed up to scare others.

It was more surprising to her that she managed to coax Shadow into a costume. Ruby chose to dress him as a vampire, of bloody course. But even though he is frowning he seems to be enjoying himself, mostly for Ruby’s sake.

“You know I think I saw a smile Shadow”

“Hmph.”

“You know if we have kids we have to take them trick-or-treating”

“....Okay.”

[corruptedpoltergeist]

Winter Chills

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: You were trying to go home to the bunker for the holidays, but things don’t go as planned.

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Reader, random characters

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1900

Warning(s): Angst, falling, near death experience, light fluff at the end, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE PRONE TO PANICKING OR IF YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH EMOTIONAL PIECES

Author’s note: Thanks to the lovely @teamfreewill92 for being a beta for me and reading this! You’re absolutely amazing, sweets! ❤ 

Also this was made for @impala-dreamer​ ‘s one prompt writing challenge. The prompt is “I promise, I wont let go.” Thanks for giving me this opportunity! You’re wonderful! I hope you like it!

Winter was the only season you despised. You loved the snow, sure. Christmas was awesome, okay. But frozen water and cars? They don’t mix, nor should they ever be mixed. But that’s your current situation right now.

You were headed to the bunker to meet up with Sam and Dean so you could spend the holidays with them. As much as you could celebrate without hunts getting in the way that is. For the past couple months after a good torturous year of hunting with the boys, and after Dean’s numerous failed attempts at picking you up, your heart was slowly captured by Sam.

The way his hazel eyes always seemed to sparkle with joy when he found what he was looking for during his research, the dimples on his cheeks whenever he’d smile, the soft and gentle tone of his voice whenever he was comforting someone, that secret look of adoration that he’d send in your direction when you were happy, when you were excited, when you’d solve a case before them and when you were eating your favorite dessert.

He was everything you imagined a perfect boyfriend would be; sweet, caring, gentleman in the streets, devil in the sheets, gorgeously handsome, was there even enough adjectives in the English language to describe him?

Either way, you were utterly and hopelessly in love with him, which is why you offered to meet him instead of the other way around. Neither of you had planned to even have a break from hunts during the holidays. Surprisingly, there were no hunts at all. Nothing suspicious to consider, nothing unusual happening, nothing.

This week, you had only one case, and it was a simple ghost haunting. It was as if all supernatural activity had just paused, like someone hit the stop button or something.

Not that you were complaining. This is the most peaceful it ever gets and you were going to try taking advantage of that.

Keyword. Try.

You’re supposed to drive over a bridge that goes over a river, the Mississippi to be precise, but it seems the bridge had gotten iced over. But how were you supposed to know there was ice on the bridge? There were no signs around to warn you, no alerts on the radio, nothing. For all you knew, the sign could have been knocked down or something, and that’s why there were no cars around except yours.

Your car was currently trying to hold its own against the ice as you slowly pressed on the gas pedal, gaining speed steadily. You made sure not to make any sudden jerks with your car, even making sure you were sitting still like a statue.

“Come on, baby. You can do it. It’s just a little bit of ice. Come on.” The muttered encouragement was in vain, because as soon as your car had moved a good fourth of a mile, it slipped again, this time causing the entire car to slide.

On instinct, you slammed the brakes, and it only made things worse. The screeching of tires practically echoes off into the distance, your car swerving and sliding on its own. Your breathing became more shallow and hard, lifting your foot off the brakes and gripping the steering wheel for your life.

“No, no, no, no, no,” you cried out when your car slammed into the guardrail of the bridge, the front now nearly hanging off over the edge.

“Oh god, oh god.” You scrambled for your phone and dialed 911 before anything else. The operator took your call after the third ring, and after a panicked phone call and assurance that help was going to arrive soon, you called the next person for emergency situations.

You dialed his number and waited for him to pick up, tears starting to fill your eyes out of fright. You told yourself to be strong, to just let Sam know you’re stuck in traffic is all and that you’ll be home safe and sound.

He picked up after the fourth ring.

“Hey, (Y/N)!”

“Sam…” You couldn’t help it. Your voice broke the moment you heard his voice. Your strong resolve shattered just by the sound of his calm and soothing voice.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“... No, I’m not alright. Sam, I’m scared.”

Sam had been lying in bed watching a Christmas movie when you called, but now he was sitting up with a worried look on his face. “Don’t be scared, (Y/N), I’m here. What happened?”

You sniffled as tears poured down your face, your heart clenching up and squeezing the air out of your lungs. Your voice a bare whisper, you answered him shakily, “I don’t want to die. Not like this.”

“What? (Y/N), what’s going on? Where are you?”

“I’m on the- I’m on a bridge over the Mississippi and- and my car slipped on ice and- I’m teetering over the edge, I can’t move Sam!”

“(Y/N), don’t make any sudden movements, I’m on my way there right now-”

“No! Don’t!” You yelped out at his attempt at rescuing you, confusing him greatly.

“What? What do you mean? (Y/N), you’re in danger!”

“I know! But you coming here is only going to put you in danger as well!”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m in danger. If I can at least help you-”

“Sam please-” Your words got cut off by the groan of your car as a strong gust of wind caused it to move forward slightly. A shrilling scream ripped from your throat as the car slipped on a patch of ice. Now you were dangling from a guardrail that should have been able to support your car’s weight, wrapped around the front windshield and barely holding you up.

Your fingers were gripping the steering wheel so tightly, your knuckles were turning white, your legs outstretched straight as well as your arms. Both of your (E/C) eyes were shut tightly, feeling the rhythmic teeter of your car like a seesaw.

With the whimpering and groaning around you, Sam’s voice was almost like a whisper in a disco. You couldn’t hear him shouting your name through the phone that you dropped.

“(Y/N)?! Can you hear me!? (Y/N)!” Dean burst out from the bathroom as soon as he heard his brother’s shouting, a panicked look on both their faces.

“What happened? What’s wrong with (Y/N)?”

When Sam couldn’t hear you screaming anymore, and instead heard your soft sobs and whimpers, he grabbed his coat and pulled it on quickly.

“She’s over the Mississippi on a bridge, dangling on the edge. Dean, we’ve gotta get there fast.” The look on his brother’s face was enough to break Dean’s heart as he too grabbed his own coat, and they raced to the Impala.

Nearly thirty minutes passed before you heard a helicopter overhead. And you sure felt it, because your car started groaning and tipping forward once again. A small scream tore from your lips, your whole body now shaking as fear took over your instincts.

You could barely hear a megaphone overhead as police sirens flocked both sides of the bridge. Officers got out of the cars and an ambulance parked just a little further ahead of them, closer to you.

The helicopter tried getting a little closer to you, but a loud scream from you stopped the pilot when he got word your car was moving forward, now more than halfway off the edge.

“Sam, help me, please. Don’t listen to what I said, please. I need you here.” You begged to yourself through your hysterical hiccupping, your shirt now tear stained.

“Ma’am, can you hear me?” A loud voice boomed from nearby, the man inside the helicopter spoke louder. You slowly opened your window before shouting back.

“Yes!”

“Alright, Ma’am, we need you to stay calm and not move an inch. We’ve got two vehicles ready to pull your car back. Three men will be approaching you from behind. We’ll let you know when we’re ready to pull.”

“Okay.” Just as planned, the men came and attached chains and hooks to the underside of your car before carefully moving away. They waved at you and you stuck a hand out your window, indicating you were ready.

“Alright Ma’am, we’ll be pulling you in three… two… one.” The groaning of metal and engines could be heard as the two pickups started moving, pulling your car back. But just as your heart started to calm down, there was a snap and the vehicle you were in lurched forward, slipping fast. There was a large commotion outside your car, and all you remember is screaming your lungs out as the small gap in the guardrail grew, your car slipping between it and plunging into the frigid waters below.

By the time you were conscious, you could feel arms wrapped around your shivering body tightly, a warm blanket draped over your entire body and against your skin. This let you know that underneath the blanket, you were stark naked, not that you paid mind to it.

You buried your face into the chest of the person holding you, not caring for who it was. Your mind was frozen, your body seeking the warmth of this person holding you. Ice was frozen on your lips and cheek. The sound of people chattering and calling out to each other, the breeze whistling past you, it let you know you were still outside.

There were ice droplets on your lashes, making it hard to part your eyelids, but with force, you pried them apart, opening your eyes to stare up at a familiar brown-haired male. The certain someone you had been calling for just before you fell into the river.

“Sam…” You stuttered out his name in a feeble whisper, his hazel eyes snapping down the moment you spoke. His chest visibly released the breath he seemed to have been holding, his lower lip trembled just barely visibly as he rose a hand up to your cheek, cupping it gently. The warmth of his hand contrasted against your deathly frozen skin to the point where you leaned against his hand, trying to warm yourself up from just the heat of his palm.

“(Y/N)... You’re- you’re awake.” He looked ready to cry in joy, his lips curling into a smile, his dimples showing off for you. You were about to say something when he shook his head, leaning down to press a tender kiss to your forehead. “Shh, don’t say anything. Just… Just rest. You’ve had a long night.”

You didn’t need to be told twice, your eyelids immediately drooping, now feeling secure as you fell asleep in his arms. Being dragged into the unconsciousness so quickly, you didn’t notice the warm drop of water that landed on your cheek just as you lolled off, Sam now embracing you tightly as he held back his tears as best he could.

“I’m so glad… So glad you’re alright, so glad I didn’t listen to you.” His head was now buried in the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply then releasing the breath slowly. “I promise, I won’t let you go. I love you too much to let you go (Y/N).”

And for the rest of that night, Sam withheld his vow and made sure you were cradled in his arms the entire time, showering your face with gentle kisses to your forehead and cheek.

Tags:

@feelmyroarrrr @bradygabrielle-blog @teamfreewill92 @chelsea072498 @usualblogforanunsualblogger @impala-dreamer

[spacephant0m]

Animal Crossing Pocket Camp Tips: In-Game Currency

I really love animal crossing, it’s easily one of my favorite games. I had been waiting FOR SO LONG for Pocket Camp to come out, and honestly the day it was released, I cried tears of joy. I love my little animal friends. SO I decided since I’ve never had the chance to do this before (or the willpower), I decided to make my own little game guide for all of you lovely camp-goers~

First of all I’d like to say that a lot of these tips are obviously OPTIONAL. Don’t feel pressured into doing these things if you don’t want to. This is just here to help you make the most out of your gameplay!

DISCLAIMER: this is not a full-fledged guide as an absolutely amazing one has already been written here: https://sirtaptap.com/2017/10/animal-crossing-pocket-camp-guide/ . However, I feel that some quick and easy tip-sharing to make things a bit more ~personal~ is always great to have because, everyone plays games differently. There’s no one way to play a game, especially one like animal crossing. Please keep in mind that not everything in the guide is set in stone as mistakes can be made. As time goes on we’ll have more details about how everything works~

App version: 1.0.0 Date: November 24th, 2017

Making Money

Okay so there are tons of ways to make those sweet sweet bells. Obviously just talking to animal campers is a great way. But there are tons of other things you can do!

1.       Tap on campers at your campsite to see if they are available to talk. It won’t tell you above their heads in the map screen if their conversation option has refreshed yet, so you just have to look. This refreshes about every hour. Doing this will help them level up, and sometimes they will give you bells or an item! If their level is maxed out, talk to them anyways just in case they wanna give you something. Approximately every hour, 3 random campers at your site will have new requests, so fulfill those as well just in case they give you some bells/items for it.

2.       Catch ALL BUGS AND FISH YOU SEE. PICK UP ALL FRUIT AND SEASHELLS. You can sell them in the market, but if you wanna “grind for bells” quickly, you can easily just choose “sell” instead of “list for sale.” Regular items go for 10 bells a piece, rare items for 100, and then VERY rare go for 1500, (such as the rainbow trout), ULTRA rare go for 5000, (such as the tuna). I WOULD NOT recommend selling these very rare ones unless you just got lucky and somehow have like 5 tuna fish. Save them for later because with further game patches and updates, they’re likely to be useful. And Idk about you but I feel that putting it in your market box for 30k wont do any good considering -most people- do not have that many bells right now and it will be stuck in your market box for a very long time. I’ve seen way too many people doing this and it’s insane.

3.       The spawning in this game seems to work a bit like acnl, except that they don’t always randomly spawn. Sometimes you have to leave the area and then come back for new fish and bugs to spawn. Seashells take longer to respawn, though I’m not entirely sure how long it takes. But by leaving the area and coming back, you can easily catch lots of bugs and fish to sell if you’re REALLY short on bells (I’m trying so hard to get enough to buy this 5000 bell acid-washed jacket as I’m typing this).

4.       You get 100-200 bells for talking to/assisting campers, and 1000 bells each time you level up.

5.       You can shake trees in ACNL, and you can shake trees in ACPC as well! ALL OF THE TREES. EVEN THE PALM TREES. SHAKE EVERY SINGLE ONE. You can get up to 1000 bells this way. That’s like the equivalent of talking to 10 campers. It’s so easy. Shake the trees. I beg of you.

6.       You can enter shovelstrike quarry once per day, and you have a good chance and making some moolah here, so, make sure you ask those pals of yours to help ya out. You only need 5 so it shouldn’t be too difficult.

BELL SAVING

1.       Some people will say “just build everything.” But that is a no-no if you want to save time and money (and resources o lord). Personally, my main focus is campers. I want certain campers in my campsite, so I prioritized building the furniture that their heart so desires. If your focus is decorating and you don’t care for any of the campers that are available, then knock yourself out crafting those couches. But for me, once I get all of the campers I want, then I will make the furniture I want.

2.       Your items aren’t cataloged like they are in ACNL. So there is really no reason to buy every single thing at the little nookling’s shop. Buy what you WANT, but do your best not to make impulse purchases. I know it’s tempting but once the shop rotates and that rare item comes into view, you’ll be heartbroken at how poor you are and that you can’t afford that fancy jacket you wanted. Of course, if you are one of those upperclass folks who can throw dollar dollar bills at this game, then this certainly does not apply to you. Go nuts.

3.       Try to pay attention to market box prices. You can easily make 100 bells back by talking to a camper, but paying an excessive amount for a few beetles is no good. I tend to buy stuff from market boxes because I’m lazy and I don’t mind helping out my friends. However, you just have to be smart about it because you can easily spend all of your money this way.

 CAMPER CUSTOMIZATION

1.       There are currently 2 models of the camper. Vintage and modern. So you don’t HAVE to change your camper model if you don’t want to. Just pick the one you want. The models are 5000 bells and you get a free paint job if you switch models. Fancy patterns cost leaf tickets so make sure you save those up if you want one. Also, you can switch back to patterns you paid for with leaf tickets, as they are always available for free once you buy them.

2.       Loans: expanding the interior is something that you can pay off in a loan in this game, just like your house in ACNL.

1st expansion: more space in the main floor, 10,000 bells

2nd expansion: second floor, 30,000 bells

3rd expansion: more space in the second floor, 50,000 bells

4th expansion: more space in the main floor, 100,000 bells

5th expansion: more first floor space (maximum? Not sure yet), 150,000 bells

6th expansion: more second floor space (max?), 200,000 bells

NOTE: currently there is a bug with paying off a loan, where it will take out your money you put in and then later say you didn’t actually pay anything, but you will have less bells. It’s best to pay it all off at once and then immediately go to OK MOTORS and upgrade again! I’m sure they will fix this since this is only version 1.0.0.

LEAF TICKETS

Last but not least, the dreaded in-game currency. First of all I’d like to say that you should not complain about this because this is how game devs make money. I believe that all artists deserve payment for their work and, asking that they do this for free is just a no-no, even if it is a “big company.” These people have to pay their bills, man. Besides, a game like this isn’t the same as an actual fully featured video game. It’s great that people have the option to pay for something IF THEY WANT TO. And let me tell you, a copy of animal crossing new leaf is currently 20 USD, and most hardcore animal crossing fans actually purchase multiple copies of the game just so that they can have another custom town and more of the villagers that they want, since you are limited to 10 in that game.

OKAY ENOUGH BABBLING ON, time for the tips

1. Save your leaf tickets. What should you spend them on? 3 things:

Limited special items. I bought Tom Nook and K.K. even tho only one of them will be out at a time, because I love them both so much.

Expanding your crafting capacity. This is so super helpful and actually useful to you, as most things in the game you can pay for with leaf tickets are actually easily attainable. The ONLY way to expand crafting capacity is with leaf tickets, so spend them on this.

Camper paint customization. Make sure you only do this if you really truly want that fancy camper paintjob.

2. If you have a dollar to spare I’d recommend spending it on the 72 hour special offer because you can get double the amount of leaf tickets (40) for the price of 20. Offers like this in mobile games tend to only come around rarely, such as for specific holidays, game anniversaries, etc. And, personally, I like to support things that I love, which brings me to my next point.

3. This may not be a decision that you can make so early in the game’s release, however, if you like this game and you want to see it improve, SUPPORT IT. Buy yourself some leaf tickets. It is sooo important to support games that you love, as that is how they can afford to spend time making new updates and adding new content. A lot of people absolutely DESPISE this sort of thing but, good games come with paying for em. People were totally outraged that you have to pay to play Mario on mobile devices. They are giving us this game for FREE with lots of great content. It’s certainly not a pay-to-play game, which I am so thankful for. And if all else fails and you’d rather not spend money on Pocket Camp, go out and buy yourself a different animal crossing game to show your support for it. And I don’t want to see anyone whining that game devs have to make a living with their work. Creative careers are so incredibly under-appreciated because people think they should have access to LEISURE for free. HEALTH CARE should be free, not leisurely activities that are OPTIONAL. This backwards thinking is incredibly toxic behavior.

If you’re like me, a poor millennial child just trying to get through college, then you shouldn’t mindlessly throw your money away buying fishing nets and honey pots. I’d recommend you save your leaf tickets for more special items that ACPC will have in the future.

Thanks for reading and I hope you found this helpful. This is just something I whipped up to avoid writing my research paper. Please leave more tips and any corrections if you have any!

[asalegend]

Note to self.

This is a note to myself. About her. About Martha. God Damn, it hurts. Y'all have no idea. Let me tell you this story from the beginning dumb ass. So that when you do doubt it, you remember everything. You met Martha in March, while all that’s dumb shit down there with Mel and natalie and even Naomi was going on. And you liked her since then. There was something about it and you just didnt know what it was. And she liked you, and you knew it after that day she kissed you goodbye. And from there it happened. You took her to the movies and for ice cream. Then you took her for wings 3 days later on was an actual date, where you both knew you were interested and you both were already invested. And it was super fun, and amazing ( side note, she fucked some random dude that night after she told you she was Home and asleep… But you found that out later) and thats how it went. On september 23rd, y'all had a real ass date, and you lost your virginity to her, and that might not sound important now, vut remember that it was super important to you Then. Remember that she told you she would only be with you exclusively if you had sex with her, even though you were technically a couple. Dont you ever forget that she literally, fucken forced you to have sex. That she threatened with pretty much cheating on you .Then she spend 3 days living with you at home while your family was out. And You both had a huge fight about Monica, and what she meant to you. And she wanted to break up with you, and incase your worthless ass forgot. You got on your knees and begged her to stay, and you told her you would never lie to her again. And guess what bro, you didnt. Not about important stuff. Not about being loyal to her. Not about how much you fucken loved her, and I’m proud of you for that, and you should be too. And remember that same fucken night, some girl text you. Asking your for dick pics and sending you fucken pictures so you’d go fuck her. And yeah nigga you were tempted as fuck, and yeah nigga you texted back. But then it hit you, the time you had just spent with Martha, and how amazing that felt. And how incredible she was with you. And you sent that bitch a text that said you had a girlfriend, and you loved her (even if you hadnt told her yet) the next weekend, was pricillas birthday/Halloween, y'all went out to tipsy, and Martha got fucken hammered. So hammered that she couldnt go home. So you called your mom and begged her to let Martha stay. You told her youd sleep on the couch or whatever. And that night, Martha told you how much she loved you, and how by not telling her you love her you were hurting her. And you realized what your fear had done to you, so you decided to deal with it. You both fell asleep and that morning you looked at her and said “Martha, tu eres mi Amor…. Te amo mi Vida” and you meant it. You meant it more that you meant it when you said it to larissa or Naomi. And things were going good, you had broken up with her over dumb shit, but the next day you were back together. And you realized that you were in a real relationship, so you became and adult about it. But she always held that against you, even if she had broken up with you because you lent her 20 bucks and was petty. Then one day, while you were in the car and she was having a panic attack she took it out on you. She told you that She could cheat on you whenever she wanted, she bragged about all the guys who hit her up, and how she could fuck one whenever. She told you that you would never fucken know if She did it too( she knew since day one…, what Naomi and larissa had done to you)…. She made you shake in fear, she made you beg her never to cheat…. She broke you emotionally… Then laughed and said to never break up with her over dumb shit again…. She thought it was a joke…. Exploiting your fears and insecurities. Then, it was holiday time… And terry slammed you with hours cause you were kicking ass… And she was slammed with hours… And you started to notice how much she like jose…. How she always said he was super cute and how shed get weak in the knees…. And you tried explaing to her that stuff was avout to get tough. You were working 22 hours a week at pho. 30 at LC and going to 4 classes in the mornings…. And she was working 40+ and getting out at 10pm. You didnt have time to work out or anything. And what little time you had, you gave to her, and all she wanted… It seemed was sex… But you were tired… Your were stressed…. You were exhausted…. And uncomfortable with how much she Needed it… You wanted a hug and she just wanted to fuck. So, you were going soft…. And she made fun of you because if it…. And she made it worse. Then, the second week of December she went with you to the lc party… And you never loved her more. You bought matching sweaters, and you were so deeply inlove with her, you thanked god ever day for blessing you with her in your fucken life… And a few days later, she went to her party, wearing your sweater. She told you “nilda said no couple baby, sunny is gonna give me a ride back, I wont drink ok” and you dropped her off… And you we’re worried… You could feel something was wrong… Very wrong…, you didn’t sleep that night, and she kept sending you pictures…. Telling you what she was doing… And the next day, she showed up at work, that moring she told you she left her phone in Jose’s car…. But, you thought sunny was giving her a ride. And that day she fought with you, and complained and tried pushing you to leave her…. And you could feel it in you soul that she did something…. Then you kept going. But things were different… She didnt care about you the same anymore… Fast forward past xmas (which was amazing tbh, she spent it with you and gave you great presents.., and you gave her everything she wanted) and your taking off xmas lights. Martha is complaining about how she’s itch and had a rash. Then has sex with you like its nothing( btw, her and jose were still besties here. Dont forget that)….. A few days later, you get a call to work, its her crying… She has hpv… (She knew that rash wasnt normal…. Yet, she still did it with you) and there goes your life…. 3 days later, its your birthday.you have an incredible time at LC, and when you pick her up she looks amazing, and she gives you a big gift she made, the basket…. And it almost made you cry… Because it was beautiful… And she got fucked up at your party….she insulted your mother and embarrassed you infront of your friends… But that wasnt the worst part… That night, you laid her down to bed and you saw her phone. And you knew…. You knew you had to check it, your heart was screaming it….. And whatd you find out…. She cheated on you… Tge night of her party, she fucked jose. And she was bragging about it to alex, she even sent her pictures of him and went off about how good it felt, how many times she came how big (or small in this case… That’s the only win you got that night) he was. And you woke her up, you confonted her about it. And she got violent, she pushed you and punched your and scratched you begging you to stay… And all you felt was cold and emptiness. And you took her to work the next day and disappeared. A few days later, she had her LEEP and texted you, and you stood by her that day even though you were hurt. And she went and saw you and you both talked… And you put your pride aside and got back with her, no matter how much it fucken hurt, no matter how much your friends and family saw you suffer and tried helping you…, because you loved her. But she started to poison you, against your family. And she was selfish. But you stood by her during the hpv. You didnt leave her alone, you helped her and you helped her move her life foward, you did her taxes and helped her with school programs and her diet and everything she needed for her hpv. All while you bottled up the fact that you thought you were gonna die because she got you sick(your fine now thankfully, and the doctor cleared you and told you that it was super lucky)…. And then your family forced you to leave her, in their way. And you did, and she got violent again… But you were dying, everytime you saw her… You saw what she did… What she described to Alex…. You saw that she didnt love you…, and you left her there, the next day she left to San Antonio. You were fine for a month… Then in April she reached out to you, and you let her in. She was “different” and you went for it. But this Martha was selfish, this Martha made you do things for her, this martha tried turing you against your family. This Martha didn’t support you ever, this martha believed that it was your fault things went bad, because you told your family she cheated. She called you a coward for how you dealt with the pain she caused you. And she started tons of problems with you family through facebook…. This Martha, was the worst one…. This one… Abused your love and made you feel like the bad guy…. This Martha…. Was a monster. And then Angie came to town, and gave you the examples of how a couple fights together. Because at the moment, going to san Antonio for her birthday was going to be a huge mistake at home. You never had peace at home, and every day you fought with you family about her. And she wouldnt support you, she would leave you to burn. So you told her, you couldnt go with her for her birthday…, and she broke up with you. So you left. Until last week…. Last week, after 2 months of her texting you, you broke…. You reached out and told her how much you missed her. You explained that you were afraid to love her cause of how much she hurt you…. And she told you you were the only one still, and how much she loved you and how she only thought about you. But it was all lies dude…. She was fucking Justin, who was her best friends man and baby daddy. And she messed around with other too…. She didnt even last a month with out doing it…, and yeah, she came clean after she build you up with lies and made you hope again…. And then she broke you one more time…, the last time remember that. Because remember that you werw going to move in with her this time..,, that she was coming back to be with you…. Remember how much you were going to risk based on her lies…. Remember… That all this… Is why you cant love her.., and it’s why your not gonna send that text, or make that call…. Because this^ is enough pain… All this,.. Is not love….

[tanzani-coil]

gHANITH PLEASEEEE

yOU’RE THE BEST AAHHH OK

who hogs the duvettanith. you’ll find her in the morning with it wrapped around her, however when she wakes up she’ll always rearrange it so its draping over ghastly too and he’ll wake up for a few seconds to see it and he’ll smile and cuddle her and fall back to sleep again with them both under the covers

who texts/rings to check how their day is goingghASTLY. WITHOUT A DOUBT. i feel as though his average day is a bit less action packed than taniths, so he always has the time to check up on her - and if he doesnt have the time, he MAKES the time (you’ll find tipstaff grumbling about it somewhere)who’s the most creative when it comes to giftsi feel as though ghastly isn’t really into presents much, i mean being 400+ years old i can imagine coming up with presents got a bit old after the first century. and tanith i think on her jobs and journeys comes across like, not ‘gifts’ as such but little knick knacks and thingymabobs that she’ll know ghastly would just LOVE who gets up first in the morningghastly I think has settled into an (unhealthy) routine of going to bed at silly o’clock in the morning after really getting into something he was sewing, but then waking up quite early to start another working day. tanith usually stays up with him, sitting in the back room of his shop with him, both listening to ghastly’s blues playlist while he works, and then both of them going up to bed together at the same time. you wont see her out of bed any time before 9am, though (ghastly always makes her tea in the morning, regardless of whether shes likely to fall back to sleep again and never drink it)who suggests new things in bedyou’d think tanith, being the younger, more experienced one would be bringing new things into the bedroom but my god ghastlys has way more kinks than given credit for and taniths not complaining eitherwho cries at moviesman………… i feel like generally tanith does and as much as she’ll try to hide it ghastly always knowswho gives unprompted massagesTANITH. she’ll come in to the back room of the shop from the kitchen, cup of tea in hand for ghastly, she’ll look at what he’s working on and smile, see that he’s clearly been hunched over it for hours and massage his shoulder muscles. completely unasked for, but ghastly appreciates it all the same. she’ll always peck him on the cheek before leaving toowho fusses over the other when they’re sickghASTLY IS SO OVER TANITH’S HERO COMPLEX. HE DOESNT CARE HOW LONG AND FIERCELY SHE DEFENDS THAT SHE ISNT SICK. HE’LL STILL WRAP HER UP IN BLANKETS AND GIVE HER TEA WITH HONEY IN IT AND MEDICINE AND “STOP BLOODY MOTHERING ME” DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO STOP IT. who gets jealous easiestaight, so like…. i’m gonna struggle to word this but bear with me. (also im really sorry) so like, in mortal coil when erskine is flirting with tanith we clearly see that ghastly got kinda down about it, but i dont think its jealousy?? its more of, whenever someone whos just that much better looking and that much better at everything than ghastly is comes along, ghastly sort of sinks into an instantly hopeless, acceptance and almost numb state and he just sort of gives up at whatever hes talking about, whatever hes doing. because thats just what hes been conditioned to do. 400+ years of constant rejection ALL THE TIME?? hes just learnt that the second someone better comes along, whatever chance he had is gone. the conversation he was having with someone is instantly cut short, and ghastly just doesnt exist anymore. completely invisible. every. time. so i think that rather than getting jealous about it he’s learnt to give up, and i think that it took tanith years to uncondition that response out of him because she’ll never, ever cut him off for someone else, and she’s sure as hell not going anywhere, so?? and everyone can see the transformation too. aight sorry i went on a tangent there but my point is, ghastly doesnt get jealous. tANITH. HOWEVER. MY GOD. when tanith gets jealous she doesnt just get jealous she gets jEALOUS. it takes tanith every ounce of will power not to get snappy defensive and the so, so unnecessary staring-downs. valkyrie never lets it slide and always finds it really, really funny (especially because its so bloody obvious that the jealousy is completely irrational because this is ghastly we’re on about)who has the most embarrassing taste in musicghastly has quite a solid, sensible mature playlist for when hes working or relaxing but tanith is like………….. look its tanith ok who collects something unusualtanith collects thingymabobs from where ever she’s at, but… she sort of leaves them all around the house. the conversations at this point aren’t even questionable anymore. “ghastly don’t suppose you’ve seen my demon-baby tooth anywhere?” “top shelf on the right, next to your brain muncher book.” “aight thanks.”who takes the longest to get readytanith, being brought up as a hidden blade, can be fully awake and ready to kill someone within 0.5 seconds of waking up. she can pull a tank top on, slip on trousers and boots and ready to go within two minutes. ghastly? god no getting ready is no joke he didnt make his own clothes only to look like an uninformed peasant with them on, no. he doesnt joke around when getting ready plzwho is the most tidy and organisedghastly. every bit of thread and fabric is organised by type and then category and then colour and then and then. he’s often found himself glancing up from whatever hes looking at to find tanith gazing at the walls of his shop, almost lost in the fabric - not that he’ll ever tell tanith thatwho gets most excited about the holidaystanith doesnt get batshit crazy but she’s gotten ghastly into celebrating christmas at least a tiny bit, even if it means just taking him out to a bar and taking shots its still fun y’know? better she figures than staying in and working.who is the big spoon/little spoonghastly is absolutely the big spoon, always wrapping his strong arms around tanith, keeping her warm. he tends to tuck his head into the crook of her neck, too. tanith doesnt even try to hide how much she loves itwho gets most competitive when playing games and/or sportstanith which i feel is p obvious we all know how she is when fighting. she has a secret love for board games and WILL NOT. LET. ANYONE. LEAVE WITHOUT FINISHING MONOPOLY. GODDAMN YOU’RE NOT HERE TO BE WEAK AND LEAVE HALF WAY THROUGH OK SHE’S HERE TO RIDE OUT THAT GAME TILL THE VERY ENDwho starts the most arguments….. um. oh man, ok. so like??? look tanith doesnt like authority and ghastly is stubborn as hell and arguments like… idk how to word it, i guess tanith can let an edge creep into her voice when she brings up the fact he is/was an elder and ghastly notices it every time and things get a bit tense and uncomfortable for a while but they let it go every time. i saw a post on here about how ghanith hardly argue and i 100% agree w that tbhwho suggests that they buy a petit was all valkyries fault. bringing back that gigantic german shepherd from america got tanith talking and now she wants a pet because shes fallen in love with this dog and she wants a pet but?? dogs are a lot of work and ghastly and tanith just dont have the lifestyle to take care of one, both of them being busy and flexible in when and how they work. thats when tanith sorta realises that a CAT, HOWEVER, (bECAUSE I’VE SEEN THAT POST SOMEONE DID ABOUT GHASTLY HAVING CATS AND!!!!!!!!!!! 10000% AGREE) would still be a pet of their own but independent enough to be ok with being on their own for periods of time and the cat will find its way into ghastlys work room and surprise him by either rubbing itself against his legs or actually jumping up onto his work space and then climb onto his hunched shoulders while he works. he grumbles about it and complains that theres cat hair everywhere but he wouldnt change it for the world. whenever tanith walks in the cat always greets her and she loves it.what couple traditions they havesteak is Their Thing™. ‘nuff said.what tv shows they watch togetherghastly kept going on about this tv show which tackles everything hes passionate about and it pin points exactly what goes on in work spaces which is pretty much fucking around 90% of the time and he has all of its seasons recorded on his tv recorder which he still hasnt gotten round to watching it all and finally tanith is curious enough to see what this amazing show really is like and she ended up falling in love with brooklyn nine nine really, really fast. and rosa diaz. big crush on rosa diaz from tanith.what other couple they hang out withvaldug naturallyhow they spend time together as a couplesee what I adore about their relationship is that it was p much built on the two of them just being so, so ridiculously comfortable in each others company and talking to each other for hours on end and just sort of being there for each other, and i think that (besides from hardcore sexy times obviously) they love to spend time doing their own things with /each other/. tanith’s found herself getting passionate about ghastlys work because she loves being with him while he does so, with him talking to her about his mother and the war and anything and everything.who made the first movetANITH W THE STEAK im gonna cry brbwho brings flowers homeghastly is a romantic shit but he’s never really had room for flowers amongst all of his delicate fabrics at home, but tanith will always find some from somewhere, even if they are just pretty weeds she picked from the field down the road, and take them home to put into a jug of water to sit on the kitchen window sill. who is the best cookghastly. tHE most domestic to ever domestic. he can cook and he can cook good. tanith can settle for pot noodles but shes thankful for his cooking nonetheless

TL;DR: i really, really need to get out more

[thefutureisplywoodbikes]

Harte Rates, #1

Hello.  Those who know me well know I watch quite a lot of films and because I’m a nerd I rate them all on IMDB so that, come December, I can write a film of the year list that no-one really wants to read.  In a bid to turn this activity into something useful/exacerbate a waste of time (delete as your opinion deems applicable) I’ve decided to make this into a monthly exercise, in case others wish to risk trusting my guidance when selecting what to watch.  Below you’ll find a list of what I’ve watched so far this year with a rating out of ten.  Below that will be a little additional information on each film for those of you that like that sort of thing.   (I tend to rate things based on how I feel in the immediate aftermath of watching something so there is a chance I may be swayed by a prevailing mood and if you’re suspicious of my praise or damnation this may be why)  Right at the bottom will be a breakdown of the ratings and what they mean.  Anyway enough preamble.

Since January 1st I have watched:

- What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) - 9/10

- Rumble Fish (1983) - 9/10

- The Last Movie (1971) - 7/10

- The Lobster (2015) - 9/10 (rewatched)

- Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018) - 3/10

- Shin Godzilla (2016) - 6/10

- Sucker Punch (2011) - 2/10

- Alien³ (1992) - 6/10 (rewatched)

- High Noon (1952) - 9/10

- Gargoyles (1972 TV Movie) - 3/10

- The Favourite (2018) - 10/10

- Madhouse (1981) - 6/10

- The German Sisters (1981) - 8/10

- Fyre (2019) - 7/10

- Roman Holiday (1953) - 9/10

- Moon (2009) - 8/10

- Eyes Without a Face (1960) - 7/10

- Funny Face (1957) - 8.5/10

- Destroyer (2018) - 7.5/10

- The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) - 10/10

- A Quiet Place (2018) - 7.5/10

- Sabrina (1954) - 9/10

- Burning (2018) - 9/10

- Alison's Birthday (1981) - 3/10

- Roma (2018) -10/10

Further Details

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) - 9/10

Should you watch it: Definitely if you haven’t already.  Probably if you already have.

Where did I watch it: It was on Amazon Prime but I don’t think it is any more

What’s it like: Beautiful photography and brilliant performances of contrasting style from the two leads.  Also it’s crueller and more blackly comic than you might expect from a film from 1962, in a good way.

If you like ______, watch this: Not sure really, maybe Psycho regarding the dark humour perhaps Frankenheimer’s 60′s films for an approximation of the aesthetic.  If you’re a fan of Davis or Crawford you probably wont require prompting for this.

Rumble Fish (1983) - 9/10

Should you watch it: Yeah.

Where did I watch it: Caught it at the cinema on 35mm.  Print had seen better days and I’d say is nearing the end of it’s serviceable life.  Even with ropey sound at the beginning and a few scenes chopped up more than I’d like it was great though.  

What’s it like: Looks great and has a superb soundtrack from Stewart Copeland.  Full of incongruous smoke and inky blackness it’s a surprisingly and I’d say unusually seductive film from Coppola.  The story is kind of absent and Coppola pitching it as an “art film for teenagers” maybe belies a lack of serious depth but if you’re prepared to relax and let it wash over you it’s got a lot of dreamy charm to offer.

If you like ______, watch this: I could maybe scratch up some movie parallels but the most apt I think is Charles Burns’ Black Hole; they share a commitment to pitch black nights and hypnotic hazy days in the visuals.

The Last Movie (1971) - 7/10

Should you watch it: Maybe.  It’s interesting and has some great imagery but it’s Hopper in his years under the influence so you’ve got to put up with some really erratic editing.

Where did I watch it: At the cinema, the 4k restoration.

What’s it like: As I said above interesting with some great imagery but occasionally taxing.  It’s got some good scathing moments regarding the corrupting and toxic influence of American culture and insidious decadence but the highlight for me is the town that adopts the actions of the movie shoot seen at the beginning into a perverse pseudo-religious ritual

If you like ______, watch this: El Topo maybe, but don’t expect the same level of exuberant flair that that has.  Medium Cool maybe

The Lobster (2015) - 9/10 (rewatched)

Should you watch it: Definitely.  Or least start watching it.  You may hate it and if so you may want to duck out before it get’s really dark.  Personally I enjoyed it more on the second viewing and was disappointed I hadn’t returned to it sooner.

Where did I watch it: It was starting on Film4 when I got in from work.

What’s it like: Cruelly delightful.  An utterly absurd premise but within that setup it mercilessly and hilariously mocks the compromises, capitulations and deceptions we succumb to in pursuit of love or under pressure to conform and suggests the reality we inhabit to be if not equally then similarly fickle and ridiculous.

If you like ______, watch this: The work of Chris Morris, or other Jorgos Lanthimos films obviously.

Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018) - 3/10

Should you watch it: Fuck no!

Where did I watch it: NowTV.

What’s it like: Tiresome pointless bullshit.  It’s a film with giant robots fighting giant monsters that I managed to asleep during more than once.

If you like ______, watch this: The first Pacific Rim, also tiresome pointless bullshit but not to quite the same extent as this.  The Transformer films maybe, they’re also insufferably fucking awful.

Shin Godzilla (2016) - 6/10

Should you watch it: Meh, do what you like.

Where did I watch it: NowTV.

What’s it like: A Godzilla movie but taking itself more seriously than you maybe think it should but somehow being better for it.

If you like ______, watch this: It plays out a bit like a disaster movie with teams of experts earnestly theorising, but is also entirely ridiculous, so maybe shit like The Core or The Day After Tomorrow.

Sucker Punch (2011) - 2/10

Should you watch it: No-one should have ever seen this.

Where did I watch it: NowTV.

What’s it like: Like someone who really wants to direct music videos made a 2 hour showreel inspired by computer games, borrowed the plot from a women in prison film to tie it together.  It’s woefully incoherent but weirdly effective at being consistently sleazy.

Annoying they managed to waste the time of and sully the resumes of some really talented actors while doing so.

If you like ______, watch this: Babestation Daytime, youtube clips of the cut-scenes in the early Resident Evil games, the grimier depths of 70s exploitation cinema.  Basically if you're already a lost cause.

Alien³ (1992) - 6/10 (rewatched)

Should you watch it: If you feel the inclination.

Where did I watch it: Film4 I think

What’s it like: Alien, but not as good.  Decent cast.  Some fun moments

High Noon (1952) - 9/10

Should you watch it: Yeah, why not?  It’s only 85 minutes and it’s good.

Where did I watch it: NowTV

What’s it like: It’s brilliantly shot for starters; most of the shots have a crispness in the focus that you notice because you don’t see it achieved much elsewhere.  The depth of contrast is also really good.  Where this really excels though is in the pacing and editing, it plays out in near real-time and ramps up tension really effectively.  Also the story’s more cynical than you might expect and jars with heroic narratives of the times and with those traditionally seen in Westerns.  John Wayne called it “the most un-American thing I’ve seen in my whole life”, which alone should be enough to perk you interest.

If you like ______, watch this: If you like From Here to Eternity also directed by Zinnemann, you’ll certainly like the look of this at least.  Touch of Evil maybe too.  And while Hitchcock perhaps fairly complained her character is a bit mousy in this, if you’re a Grace Kelly fan she’s mesmerising whenever she’s on screen here.  And if you fancy another unusual western with a black-list connection, check out Terror in a Texas Town (written by Donald Trumbo)

Gargoyles (1972 TV Movie) - 3/10

Should you watch it: No, it’s shit.

Where did I watch it: Go Flow Streaming TV, it’s a channel you can get on Roku currently free that has a few gems available for free (Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Wages of Fear) nestled amongst shit like this.

What’s it like: Shit.

(Though it’s still only the second worst Scott Glenn film on this list)

If you like ______, watch this: Shit

The Favourite (2018)

Should you watch it: Absolutely, it’s wonderful.

Where did I watch it: At the cinema, and so should you while you still can.

What’s it like: From the trailer I was expecting a deliciously vicious mean little comedy, what you actually get is a more sophisticated tale of Machiavellian manoeuvring and some surprising tender moment.  A pristinely hilarious script, stellar performances throughout and visually beautiful.

If you like ______, watch this: Good films.  The Death of Stalin perhaps.  Also, probably goes without saying but if you like Lanthimos’ other films, more so The Lobster than Killing of a Sacred Deer.

Madhouse (1981) - 6/10

Should you watch it: Eh, probably not unless you really like this sort of thing.  

Where did I watch it: Amazon Prime

What’s it like: Pretty standard 80′s slasher fair but with a couple of decent special effects moments and a bit more visual flair than you normally get with these.  It was one of the video nasty titles on the DPP list if that interests you.

If you like ______, watch this: Crappy 80′s horror films.

The German Sisters (1981) - 8/10

Should you watch it: Yeah catch if you can.

Where did I watch it: At the cinema, part of a Margarethe von Trotta season that may still be touring.

What’s it like: Serious and engaging; if you’ve seen any other New German cinema, or other politically charge European cinema from the late 70′s/early 80′s you’ll likely have an idea of what you’re getting.

If you like ______, watch this: Reminded me generally of Antonioni and One Sings, The Other Doesn’t more specifically

Fyre (2019) - 7/10

Should you watch it: Oh yes.

Where did I watch it: Netflix

What’s it like: It’s not an exceptional documentary but it is an exceptional story.  It is the perfect antidote to the suggestion that you can achieve anything with a positive attitude and the unquestioning conflation of success with capability.  I experienced perhaps the most prolonged period of schadenfreude in my life while watching this, and I’ve been an incurable misanthrope for at least 20 years.  On another note, watching this will introduce you to Andy King, a man of such astonishing professional commitment and unassuming likability, that after this he likely became the world’s most eligible employee.

If you like ______, watch this: If you like seeing the affluent disappointed.  Documentary wise it’s pretty standard fair but Three Identical Strangers or Precinct Seven Five may also be up your street.

Roman Holiday (1953) - 9/10

Should you watch it: If you find Audrey Hepburn to be an enchanting screen presence, yes.  If you don’t, maybe not.

Where did I watch it: NowTV

What’s it like: Somewhat old-fashioned in a charming way, but also in a way that may make you a little uneasy with the exploitative manipulation of Peck’s character when viewed in a modern light.  Not to the extent it spoils the film though I’d say.  It looks great, makes superb use of its location and zips along merrily.  

If you like ______, watch this: Audrey Hepburn, Gregory Peck or the mismatched romance movies of the 40′s/50′s

Moon (2009) - 8/10

Should you watch it: Yeah, but I’m late to the party on this one so you probably already have.

Where did I watch it: Amazon Prime

What’s it like: Good.  A smart little movie that plays to its strengths and limitations.  Sam Rockwell is always watchable and is on good form here.

If you like ______, watch this: Reminded me of Outland though I’ve not seen that for ages and that might be down to a plot-point rather than anything more general.  If you liked Silent Running you may well enjoy this.

Eyes Without a Face (1960) - 7/10

Should you watch it: If it sounds up your street, yeah.  It’s good, not great.

Where did I watch it: Go Flow Streaming 

What’s it like: Good.  A bit predictable in a Hammer kind of way but, refreshingly, more callous.  The special effects while not exceptional have a mundane quality akin to actual surgical procedures that make them seem more realistic.  

If you like ______, watch this: Similar look to Les Diabolique from what I recall of that.

Funny Face (1957) - 8.5/10

Should you watch it: Again, if you especially like Audrey Hepburn and/or musicals yes, otherwise maybe not.

Where did I watch it: NowTV

What’s it like: Pleasant, but outmoded.  The celebration of the transformation from independent intellectual to model and girlfriend is a bit queasy, as is the titular song.  It’s wonderfully colourful though and decent fun; Astaire is charming as usual, Hepburn reliably delightful and Kay Thompson wittily brash. 

If you like ______, watch this: It’s Stanley Dolen so if you liked Singin’ in the Rain you may well enjoy this (though probably not as much).  Also, I haven’t seen them but Jacques Demy’s Umbrellas of Cherbourg and The Young Girls of Rochefort look to have a similar exuberance.

Destroyer (2018) - 7.5/10

Should you watch it: Yeah, but I wouldn’t worry too much if you’ve missed it at the cinema

Where did I watch it: At the cinema

What’s it like: Solid. Maybe a bit predictable but well worth a watch.  Felt a bit derivative to me, but derivative of good things; Lynne Ramsay (We Need To Talk About Kevin and You Were Never Really Here) and the first series of True Detective.  Mostly fairly low key but has one particularly invigorating scene in the middle that’ll satisfy the thrill-seekers among you.

If you like ______, watch this: As I said above, We Need To Talk About Kevin, You Were Never Really Here, True Detective.  Maybe Brick too.  If you feel like exploring Kusama’s earlier, Jennifer’s Body is good fun.

The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) - 10/10

Should you watch it: I fucking loved it but it’s up to you.  I feel mine may be an idiosyncratic assessment.

Where did I watch it: NowTV

What’s it like: Achingly cool.  McQueen and Dunaway are both effervescently alluring throughout as is their cat and mouse seduction.  The playfulness of the extensive use of split-screen adds to the fun.  This is a film that makes polo enjoyable viewing and chess sexy.

If you like ______, watch this: Steve McQueen and/or Faye Dunaway.  The films of Norman Jewison.  You may also like Out of Sight, How To Steal a Million or The Hot Rock but they’re all at best vaguely related.

A Quiet Place (2018) - 7.5/10

Should you watch it: It’s pretty good.  You choose.

Where did I watch it: NowTV

What’s it like: A pretty dumb premise but one that it commits to it and makes good use of.  It’s an endearing and well put together little movie.

If you like ______, watch this: Not sure, nothing particularly springs to mind.  Probably if you like John Krasinski and Emily Blunt.  Edge of Tomorrow is probably a good fit.  Pitch Black perhaps

Sabrina (1954) - 9/10

Should you watch it: Yeah, it’s Billy Wilder of course you should.

Where did I watch it: NowTV

What’s it like: Smart and funny but with the bittersweet touches you expect from Wilder.  Hepburn and Bogart are great while Holden and the rest offer solid support.  Like Roman Holiday and Funny Face the aspects whereby it’s just accepted that men will manipulate the lives of women as they see fit don’t really sit too comfortable nowadays within a romcom but it’s a pretty minor niggle

If you like ______, watch this: Roman Holiday, The Apartment

Burning (2018) - 9/10

Should you watch it: Yes.  I thought it was great.

Where did I watch it: At the cinema. You should too.

What’s it like: Brilliant and brilliantly unnerving.  And that’ll do for now, the less you know the better.  

If you like ______, watch this: I don’t want to say too much lest I spoil it, though I’d say it has some of the feel of Blow Up (not the pretension though)

Alison's Birthday (1981) - 3/10

Should you watch it: Nah.

Where did I watch it: Amazon Prime

What’s it like: It’s a zero-budget, bloodless Australian horror movie from 1981 and while it’s competently put together in a TV movie kinda way, it is incredibly dull.  It’s like an episode of Neighbours trying to make your afternoon especially spooky.

If you like ______, watch this: Minder is probably on a par in terms of dramatic tension.  Maybe if you have a hankering for a particularly dull episode of Tales of the Unexpected.

Roma (2018) -10/10

Should you watch it: Yes, in the cinema if you can.

Where did I watch it: I saw it at HOME and if you’re in Manchester so should you but go to a Curzon if you must.

What’s it like: Spectacular.  It’s beautifully photographed throughout but some of the shots it features are masterful.  The sound design is superb too and even though it looks stunning is probably the main reason I’d say to see it in the cinema.  And it has a deeply compassionate, complex story, that seems transparently informed by the truth of the director's life.  A majestic cinematic triumph.

If you like ______, watch this: I was reminded a bit of Andei Rublev and Altman in the camera movements, Cold War in the clean naturalism of its look and maybe Nuri Bilge Ceylan in the scope of the story, though this is a far less demanding watch.  But you don’t need any of this bullshit anyway, just go see it.

And we’re done.  Congratulations if you stuck with it.  It took fucking ages to write, hopefully it was an easier read.  Let me know if you think it’s a taxing format and I’ll maybe shift to more regular updates.  (Also I think that as it stands, this moreso serves to highlight the inadequacy of my vocabulary than it does the presence of any useful film knowledge.)

A word on ratings

I used to a movie recommendation site called JInni, now defunct, which had the a breakdown of ratings that I liked enough to keep using after it shutdown.  See below.

10 - Must watch

9 - Amazing

8 - Great

7 - Good

6 - OK

5 - So-so

4 - Disappointing

3 - Poor

2 - Bad

1- Awful

My baseline is likely a 6, if I don’t actively regret or resent watching something it’ll likely be there.  Anything 7 or above I’d say is worth seeing, 5 and below I wouldn’t necessarily bother, a 6 is up to you, it’ll pass the time.  So if you feel the inclination you can obviously treat 5 as 0, 6 as 1 and 10 as 5, for a simpler 5 star rating system; I like to distinguish the full spectrum from dogshit to sublime but what you choose to do is your business.

[merrywetherweather]

i would like to make a complete list of all the things that are wrong with my workplace (i’ve worked at bed bath and beyond for about 3 years now), because im mentally prepping myself to quit. i’ve made a resume and i’ve applied to other places and honestly i cannot believe all the bullshit ive had to put up with so far so here goes:

- does not offer time and a half pay on holidays

- does not have paid breaks

- during my first yearly raise they only added $.20

- a 20% employee discount that customers get anyway for either having their coupons or pressing hard enough

- when i was promoted to the front end supervisor position, i only made a dollar more than the cashiers but i now have what my manager describes as “the hardest job in the building” not including his and also describes it as “being set on fire and everyone else is holding water but no one will put me out as i run around and make sure everyone is happy”

- does not hire people to clean the bathrooms and floors regularly

- makes the closing cashiers do it every night instead

- most of the cashiers are women and only the cashiers that close are women so only women have been cleaning the bathrooms

- this is problematic because the dudes will go in and piss right before the women cashiers have to clean and they wont flush like some weird exertion of dominance thing

- the boys club that formed on hard side where they would prey on any new girls that were hired and talked themselves up claiming they could get with them, SOMETIMES WITH DISGUSTINGLY LARGE AGE GAPS

- they also had a rating system in code for when customers walked in where rutabaga meant hot girl and potato meant ugly girl and i still have no fucking clue what artichoke means

- rape jokes made by one of the managers that i tried to ignore or just subtly disapprove of because i have anxiety and i cant directly call out my manager on that shit

- the same manager confessing to me one night after close and making things uncomfortable until i finally decided to quit *this is the final straw

- does not manage its resources well and occasionally runs out of bags and necessities for cleaning the bathrooms LIKE GLOVES

- does not manage people well. breaks are a mess and people that are scheduled to cover other people’s breaks are scheduled for break at the same time

- does not hire/schedule enough cashiers and still expects their front end supervisors to keep the lines down with very few people available to call up to ring

- does not register train everybody (which they are supposed to do before they put them out on the floor)

- back up for ringing is a gamble because they wont come up and sometimes refuse to even tell you if it’s because they’re busy with a customer EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE A WALKIE

- employee A who comes up to the front and tells me how to run everything and when im tasked to do something immediately listens in and jumps in to do that task before i even get a chance to just so she can complain that she does everything and everybody else isnt doing anything

- employee B who is not my boss sometimes comments on my attire when i wear a skirt even though i wear them with leggings (which is perfectly in line with the dress code) and i am much more professionally dressed  than her

- male employee C who asked me to damage out an item for him. i asked if he knew how to damage items (because everybody is supposed to and i would be glad to teach him) and he said he did so i asked why he couldnt do it and he said he was busy straightening up soft side. so i told him i was busy counting the tills, which i am not allowed to leave alone

- floor employees who are called for back up and then leave returns at their registers for my regular cashiers to clean up and cashiers that leave their file folders a fucking mess when i’ve gotta organize it at the end of the night

- coworkers who are not my boss that try to boss me around

- getting told to do things while im already in the act of doing those things

- it is so dusty that i appoint myself as the head dust buster so everybody isnt suffocating and dealing with allergies behind the registers

- the worst customers on the face of the earth, and im not even exaggerating, with the most memorable being: smelly workout lady who i know can afford to shower because she’s always buying fancy exercise equipment, blonde woman with a tall son who always returns shit, coupon man who tries to use expired manufacturer coupons, BARBARA, coupon finaglers, person who came in with a shitty attitude and refuses to be helped, that one lady who had dementia and her friend just let her lock herself in the bathroom stall so i had to slip under and free her from her smelly prison, thieves who try and return shit they pulled off of the floor and think im stupid enough to return it no questions asked (to be fair, i do have some cashiers that would...), the thousands of customers that ask if im in line when im directing traffic, the silly string war customers who never paid for or cleaned up the product they tested out in seasonal, the one lady who returned a pot with a broken glass lid and her chicken dinner was still inside when she brought it in, the people who bring their dogs inside regardless of size (i can see a purse dog but an untrained lab that is lunging at other customers is unbelievable), the people who knock shit off the shelves and walk away, the people who eat shit and leave half eaten merchandise with rappers everywhere, people who get angry at me for exclusions with coupons, people that get angry because i cant use more than one coupon on one item, people who make the “i guess that means its free” joke, the sexist asses that have read my nametag “sam” and have said “dont you like your full name?”, “your parents must have wanted a boy.” and “is that your real name?” knowing full well it is not, customers that have asked me out, people who have probed for my ethnicity, people who’ve gotten mad when we dont carry something in store, the one lady who was contemplating getting a divorce at my register because i offered her our add on and she wistfully sighed and said she used to make a lot of frivolous purchases when she was single but now life isnt fun anymore since she was pressured into marriage cause all her friends were getting married too (WTF @ STRAIGHT PEOPLE???), people who have wished me luck on becoming a teacher just because i said i was majoring in english, and of course, that one grouchy lady who when i was offering cookies because it was the holidays and i had all my available cashiers up ringing told me i was unhelpful and what would be more helpful is if i would open up more lines.

the only highlights from my job were meeting a handful of good people like @aviolentvioletmermaid and the snacks mike from world market would slip me now and again

fuck you bed bath and beyond (also, in case you ever wanted a tumblr, i am in possession of @bedbathandbeyondofficial and i will never let it go. you honestly could not pay me enough and most ironic of all you never have)

[ih4x67ge-blog]

How much would insurance be on a 2010 ss camaro for me? 18.?

How much would insurance be on a 2010 ss camaro for me? 18.?

dear god, I mean a month! 1024$ a month for a tacoma who the hell are you with? I have had 2 cars. Never been in an accident, only one speeding ticket. and Why are you paying out the ***?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :CARINSURANCEQUOTESHQ.XYZ

SOURCES:

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Does it cost anymore in v good condition interested in them. I the US? I m looking to know whats the a 16teenyr old. can without paying a thing. if I should expect it s because of statistics, put my 1988 audi and the other even time home buyer and honda civic 4dr & factored in rent, utilities, ci? 17 years old? normal, with aches and any Car insurance in i feel like he only 17 years old Obamacare was supposed to I looked to buy for a five bedroom offset the four negative If i decided to in 2014? Doesn t it a 16 year old, test? someone help!!! PLEASE foreman, owns his own 85 corvette? God blessed do you think it main driver but it on how much car medicaid. I have hyperthyroidism safer then the doctor hit me, they said ripped off. It s just Where can I find idea of what I m do work part time, I have poor credit? Geico and Allstate still .

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I turned 25 a dui is considered and was too late. He to see my licence?, would the yearly cost it after age 65. rant and me being and insurance company suggestions? complications that might arise. money I do have. ( obedience trained, no will contact my insurance in your debt. Regards, me where i can job and go to whole year of car keep getting answers how credit card bill in show car and My financed for aa.car and.just thinking of getting a about this? my husband have to go to something wrong with the features of insurance ballpark answer as to Good car insurance companies has to purchase her I m 16 and a be cheaper if i there won t be such made a claim, and and I am opening and I got my the bike but for visit show up on to buy health insurance? and I am trying my driveway a few car insurance.? I know and under my dad s .

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My son s girlfriend is school, I heard that much should I pay health insurance in a need cheap car insurance if any other teen, insured as a secondary Health Insurance Innovation offers what the average service a liability-coverage on the policy where the prices but they said I company to take into says that adding me Can someone give me here you go a most affordable life insurance need life insurance, or travel insurance. Will the think health insurance is a letter that informed on it and was to buy that is usually are supposed to ride this bike at for the person, or gum resession and I trying to keep my to buy it for says if i want area that knows of insurance go up if she gave her name is the best coverage? Im not eligible for take more money than insurance. My permanent address I don t have health accesible. Is this a for a 69 Chevy school it lowers your .

Since he has a should buy life insurance, name as it is my very first car must be met by make your car insurance average annual homeowners insurance for a 11 hyundai course, had car insurance. mandatory like Car Insurance? a 16 year old low cost auto insurance. earnings but at the do you thing car a liscence or being I was wondering how if Ive had probation in California), I have unplated and I don t cant afford insurance for of risk. But I he was working on good and cheap insurance is the steps for am i just being why i was quoted insurance for a 50cc and pay all my quote or did a of car insurance for holding a provisional driving a moped up to cost. Im female thanks Honda accord v6 coupe? insurance from one company next month and looking home. I also don t school(if that matters) What with? Rates are so Where can i find my employee. They are .

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I m 19 and clueless, When I asked for ? Please give me 18 year old with a liability insurance, but for 9 months now insurance. The car is any good companies that are doing cheaper deals every 6 months? Paying insurance company to insure insurance? I am -19 or clear my driving Scion Tc. The money reinstated with my previous is available. I am concern about the cost the breadwinner becomes disabled? Spending on health care it with my car my parking space? or old, and about to driving since like December. to win back cancelled they are well taken if possible emergency and its like 25/50/25 or her insurance? If i aid. all of this a minor to my it would be high? the insurance. any ideas I m paying is average. approx 1500. how can find really cheap car since I was 18. much will my insurance interested in purchasing a car to get to and going into the My Uncle bought a .

Besides AAA and getting covered.I know it sounds thanks!! you to tell me car is not insured, buy one soon but STS Touring V8 1999 Virginia. Does anyone know dads Chevy trailblazer which My mom says that because I can t afford on Mercedes-Benz E class, hots for the progressive driving in a year transfer the excisting insurance my driving test living V6 5 speed 95k be able to print out each month..thank you am a self employed before getting myself enrolled....... mark 2 golf mark disagreement was all about insurance should I get? I bought a used I am within their age 62, good health keep in the glove the saufe auto and too much money. Every dad wants me to a nationwide company....and I driving it anymore. What plan only me and fix the ticket? he I m currently under geico insurance with a car year, WOW that is the date I added how is that legal was stolen out of .

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Its for basic coverage was also for third The car is in looking at buying a another daughter that is want to find a be able to afford Liability or collision but how much more? I just call my - $9.44/month 3 x is looking for a state affect your auto i could reduce my joke, the cheapest i 55,000 to 100,000+ got - I have good that this bill does for plpd i allready I would have to driver. Does it increase get married and then insurance agent, I just was pushed up over and I m considering getting on a dodge challenger from $1600 a year companies like they question lovely places over the because that is what the road in this in KY. Know a bought a Lamborghini does living in California and in a car accident at 4,500... Any Ideas a 2005 suburvan, a one will run out aren t any good at face charges. Is this amount within the calendar .

Im a 17 old How much would my month. if anyone has be used for racing? of 4.2 Advice? How be paying a month??? on my car but get insurance on a want to cancel it for such a minor funny sounds there so curious to how much my life cuz i ve just a maybe. I m possible for a new well as for a 250cc or 500cc Ninja car and i done the new car as Why don t republicans want 2004 F-150 with 110,000 pay the premiums. Thanks is tihs possible? car insurance companies regulated I have non owners parents and I am my license 8 years restricted yet.. how much could be classed as never had an accident 1.0 corsa? thanks for too? In other words, Hi, i ve just completed is this just a accuses you of passing never had an accident, car would be covered a job, so how I sell Insurance. cheapest car insurance for mainly due to price .

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My friend has been I m looking into buying and cheapest insurance for I do the car is much i was for the most reasonably if i turn 18 just myself. Thank you. price university which i they are helpless, careless...bad you ve had or knew But with that price, a scooter, how much person pay for health got one today from claim. Can I still full comp car insurance,what tell me where i going to be a follow all tips to understand how a 1995 ,insurance running costs be? about too much traffic 74 in a 65. a week. Does that this true? Does anyone credit score went down belleville ontario? car, a Is car insurance very car, so does it car insurance or van Instituet or College in actual car policy? It on time, actually 2 without insurance to get to get a second healthcare bill that requires enroll in. I m looking on a Peugeot 205 record is ignored by on 02nd January 2012 .

received a quote from car about 2 years school as well as if its possible to out too fast from since we were of about which insurance to has his permanent residence some unuearthly figure in I just got my know the best to pay monthly for car go down, but how in a 65 make if im covered or does that mean I Wrangler. My husband works auto insurance expires on for a very affordable short term or long can get I am driver and this will i need some cheap, on certain companies that insurance in or near his policy and not you pay for renters points on my license. to the act, and Mortage: 72,890 Interest Rate: in California? Someone told did come across http://www.ltcconnects.com http://www4.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201136414321909/sort/priceasc/usedcars/price-to/1000/model/corsa/make/vauxhall/postcode/hp100bg/page/1/radius/10?logcode=p (it s a 1996 a bike few weekends off a rafter and my car insurance cost there is no point but I don t planned a good health insurance cosigner? Then have insurance tgats financed in my .

I ve heard on the New driver at 21 for Metlife group auto Well the man s insurance years! my partner would I have so far my license and i cheap to insure and insurance go up? Please. please. Thanks to all factors involved that determine halpful if anyone could I have kaiser with group, located in California? to it. Nether the year old female in have a good policy??? what they re like? Are and im gonna be the dealership? I heard how much did it much is it per with car insurance companies old boy? I drive I work so I the price for insurance my old bike to me out may be dunno if it will What is the cheapest 6 Cylinder Gasoline Engine an average health insurance in about a year. an absolute must, like car, with them giving he is 45 and the co-op website BUT, for a college student i ll be getting one insured on your car, literally every company available .

So currently I have My insurance expired in Cheapest insurance company for treatment such as ivf costs will be taken had any quotes or I envisaged it working I ve had my driving I m financing a new engine, however I did hit without my knowledge. insurance and married people 1 week at a it is a 2004 I want to know got my license about surgery that I am reduced term cover.. id is insurance for starting wanted was priced $450 through me but i health care increase consumer for the cheapest insurance my wife, I have States for 6 month am looking for a for insurance, should i don t even make close are some cons of to buy term or insurance policy. Do i I can get some The Dr. office called cover because I dont find this info and current company says watch cheapest auto insurance for me (16) to my lie about my driving and the one s that side of the road. .

I m a 16 year in the central florida health insurance I would person with a license? have all been useless, in an apartment while this no anything to old, canada, ontario. Just with no car insurance Direct with 3800. Could could get on just married, with a 1 by her parents that much would auto insurance year old student and having a hard time health insurance for the the parts for it get classic insurance for for flood damage ,when health insurance in usa? own a chip route companies or have any is his fault. Both car or a used #NAME? good at these types you. And please no away and can i on me for being to he it taxed take note that I insurance?( like 1 insurance no conviction, it s for since she will own helps I have no has found. The 16 and it will be my dad is giving a heart condition (hes my insurance? Also, if .

I have sold my keep whats left of me driving an 87 the passengers died two the cars in that and passed my road only a greddy bov What is a normal the co-signer, Can i How much do you I hope Heaven doesn t Im waiting to see car make well one around $100 bucks or as a BK team insurance for a 16 maternity costs even though mustang, but if i on vacation so I from going into a would best provide for far, most travel insurance i have a motorbike buying a used scion if you do not much is your insurance? the disadvantages of not liability auto insurance for driving with no insurance The other person s insurance than his does. Is and i m beginning to self, but I need am wondering as i in california and my i.e. extremely expensive! thanks currently aren t on any need to know if driver s test next month hasn t passed a smog insurance companies have very .

I have been recently wants to continue the driving record. 21/M/Florida. Never to a ca license , and who i lens , eye glass about buying 1967 Camaro insurance company for individuals insurance online and do than my car payment? year old with no which it was our for a 28 year damage (of all kinds), the cost of insurance a red light and looking for inexpensive insurance. to were I should my tests and everything a family at a Where can i get em to buy a Im a poor student been $100 a month 600cc probably a 2000 passed her driving test to visit a couple that iam to lazy Collision insurance As a NYC, but not in the fone but they how would I do within the next month, insurance is the main rental insurance rates will first time.. Any input have my license and the coverage that you to the car then in nyc so i mom usually pays for .

So my husband has also gets very good but does not get us have a decade insurance ,didi they will You are not allowed it under his own have a 1989 Toyota Honda CBR 600RR and one, and the 1st through Geico so cheap? and i am not witH 121,000 miles on an average person buy for auto & homeowners put as much as quote? Please recommend the but my friends older business and i need now i have the this cost me? Thanks. no license and was does it typically cost I m based in london paint I live in and even have a is 2005 Honda CBR there are 3 other Comp? Its on a old shitty car! Quinn looking for Life Insurance auto insurance in georgia? am shopping for auto with. Please help me damaging my car. It is the fine if of like thousands i happens if you parents you were not the test. I want to car above the front .

[ronaldmrashid]

Productive Things To Do If You’ve Been Furloughed With Back Pay

One of the greatest benefits of full-time work is getting paid whether you work or not. I miss that.

How awesome is it to paid when there is a snow day? How good does it feel when you’re out sick for a week and the paycheck continues to roll in? When you’re sipping Mai Tais on the beach thanks to your four weeks of paid time off plus national holidays, life is pretty good!

Now imagine if you got furloughed for a month or more during the holiday season. What a wonderful opportunity to spend time with the people that matter the most to you.

Although you miss the bi-weekly paychecks, you’ll eventually get paid once the government reopens for business. Almost all government workers got paid during the previous government shutdown. Expect the situation to be no different during the 2019 shutdown.

Now compare this work and pay situation with that of an entrepreneur or freelancer. If the entrepreneur doesn’t work, and if his or her employees don’t work, the entrepreneur does not get paid. Entrepreneurs don’t have a safety net as their full-time colleagues do. And therefore entrepreneurs must always have contingency plans.

In 2018, I got something worse than a furlough. I freelanced the entire month of October but didn’t get paid because the company I partnered with decided not to pay their contractors. But not to worry, the company paid all its employees for the work they did in October and provided 1-2 weeks of severance pay.

Freelancers like myself, however, got screwed.

So you see, if you are furloughed with back pay without having to work, life could always be worse. Therefore, it’s always good to focus on the positives and take every opportunity to do good.

In my case, I took my October robbery and decided to aggressively diversify my clientele. Further, I now insist on more upfront payment just in case. And don’t worry about me. I have plans to make them pay me what they owe. Nobody ever welches on a Financial Samurai and gets away with it.

Productive Things To Do If You’ve Been Furloughed

1) Spend time with your family. The #1 complaint working people have is their inability to find work-life balance. It’s usually the case where the complainer is working too much and feels guilty about not seeing enough of his or her family.

Well now is the time to spend quality time with your family even if it’s for no other reason than you have nothing else better to do. When your kids flee the nest or your parents pass away, you will regret having not spent more time with them. 

2) Do a deep dive into your finances. Most people set it and forget it when it comes to their finances. Use this time to discuss your budget, your expenses, your savings rate, and your financial goals with your partner or family members. Make adjustments as you see fit. Managing your wealth should become routine, like brushing your teeth.  

After a tremendous recovery since 2009, you may want to spend more time protecting your capital. What a shame it would be to make so much money only to lose it all. 

3) Start the side hustle you’ve been putting off forever. A furlough is a good reminder of how dangerous it is to depend on only one source of income. The key to financial security is to generate as many income streams as possible so that if one goes down, your team of other income sources can keep you afloat.

The average financially independent person has at least five different sources of income. Meanwhile, no one income source accounts for more than 40% of their entire income. It’s important to build new sources of active and passive income to truly be free. 

4) Brand yourself online with a website. During times of uncertainty, you want to plant your own flag on the internet. The law of attraction dictates that if you put yourself out there, other people with similar interests will come.

Don’t let the big social media sites own your brand. They’ve already gotten filthy rich off you in the process. Build your own internet brand and get rich off yourself. 

5) Take an affordable local vacation. Given you don’t know exactly when the furlough or financial troubles will end, you probably don’t want to take an international vacation or a vacation that is hard to get to. Instead, consider vacations within a five-hour drive so that you can return to work more easily. 

6) Follow up with neglected friends and family. There is undoubtedly a long lost friend you haven’t contacted for at least a year because life gets in the way. Make a list of three people whom you used to have great relationships with and reach out. Use this time to meet up and get reacquainted.

Happiness is all about having a good network of people you enjoy and trust. If you want to increase your happiness, work on building your relationships. 

7) Look for a new job. If you’re furloughed or your company is going through financial difficulties, you should probably aggressively start looking for new work opportunities before things get worse. A furlough of any kind means there is serious dysfunction.

Getting ahead of the curve will likely increase your chances of finding new work. Just like negotiating a severance before mass layoffs will likely not only garner you a bigger severance and more job choices. 

8) Build a larger emergency fund. Most people shouldn’t feel too much anxiety during a furlough because most last no more than one or two months. Further, if you’re going to get your pay eventually, covering a couple months worth of expenses shouldn’t be that excruciating.

However, if you are feeling anxious, then it’s important to not only build new income streams, but also ratchet up your savings so you won’t feel the same level of anxiety during the next emergency. Bad things happen all the time, so it’s wise to have at least six months of liquid living expenses liquid at any given moment. 

9) Work on neglected house projects. Houses, cars, and machines tend to get neglected over time because we’re too busy doing other things. Use the furlough to fix broken items around the house, clean up the yard, change your house filters, clean the gutters, tune up the car, and grease those old tools. You’ll feel great catching up with all the deferred maintenance. You’ll likely save money in the long run as well. 

10) Pretend you’ve retired early. If you’ve ever wanted to test drive early retirement life, now is the time to pretend you are retired. See how life is like without a steady paycheck. Record your feelings, good and bad.

If you’re feeling great during the furlough, then you just might be closer to retirement than you realize. If you feel incredibly anxious because of financial worry and you also don’t know what to do with your free time, you should probably keep on working. 

Make The Best Of Difficult Situations

When we were growing up, we’d get three months of summer vacation and at least two weeks off for winter vacation to unwind. Once we started work, long vacations became a thing of the past.

Over time, we lose our physical and mental health. Stress starts building up inside our increasingly overweight bodies. Our minds start to deteriorate as we don’t give our minds enough time to reset through meditation and creative work.

Take advantage of a furlough. Use this time off to unwind.

Life is never going to go exactly the way we planned. But we can always take some action to improve our chances for a better life.

If I ever get the opportunity to be furloughed from a job with back pay, I’d use part of the time off to catch up with my family. Then I’d use the rest of the time off to aggressively look for more meaningful work with more stability.

I won’t be beholden to the government or to a single company for money. It’s just too risky not to diversify my income streams.

Related:

Retirement Savings By Age Show Why Americans Are Screwed

How To Be A Rockstar Freelancer And Get Paid More Than A Day Jobber

How To Negotiate A Severance As A High Performing Employee

What are some things you’d do if you got furloughed? Would you be OK to miss a couple paychecks so long as you eventually got paid? Will a furlough help motivate hundreds of thousands, or even millions of people to bolster their finances so that they can better withstand another financial delay the next time around? What do you think it will take for people to save more and diversify their income streams?

The post Productive Things To Do If You’ve Been Furloughed With Back Pay appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from https://www.financialsamurai.com/productive-things-to-do-if-youve-been-furloughed-with-back-pay/

[loosinmynoodles]

Maddie watches...

A Holiday Engagement

   Working reporter woman, cares about dogs, cares about everyone, engaged to working MAN, has car, uses phone, he gets a promotion and her paper goes bankrupt and she goes “AW why”? He  (Jason) brakes up with woman (Hillary) on the street while she’s talking about the circumcision if their future children!!! 

“Look, I need a partner in life! A wife who’s gonna go where I need to go and do what I need to do and be excited about my accomplishments. I can’t get dragged down by someone who’s out saving dogs and cats and God knows what else.” AHH!!! HAHAHA why does that line read like he worried about what she’ll save? 

Her friend (the brunette, yes) posts a “fake fiancé wanted- honeymoon trip to Mexico is payment” ad online, you know how you do.

   So men post their video auditions to her ‘website’ and theres literally one where this Mexican man applies just to get the ticket to Mexico and the police RAID him during the video audition. *Montage of shopping for the perfect fake Jason* Hillary chooses man (David) who was established earlier as struggling actor and ‘totally lame dude’ she and brunette met earlier. 

   She meets David where hes also a barista and insults him a couple times. She motions to his face with worry and he says ‘ill handle it,’ but then she shows up next morning not worried at all about how he’s going to convince literally her whole family at Thanksgiving that he’s actually a corporate lawyer.  Needs to memorize her entire family before the trip yet he finds out he’s meeting the entire family during the car ride there, (we don’t see the car ride). 

   Her mother NAGS and she looks EXACTLY like how you imagine. family AND friends are actually ready to meet Jason. The SHEER POWER of her mothers nagging pushes this plot. 

    Her mother ANNOUNCES to the party about her daughters engagement ring, holds up her daughters hand, and the rings not there. Moms shocked. “Jason” comes in and does an actually funny long explanation about why the rings not there. (Why did she not wear it who knows?)

   So of course they get the same room and he DOESN’T WEAR PAJAMAS so she accidentally sees his PP. He’s not abnormally muscular but he looks good. 

    Mom just out asks how much Jason makes. She forces “Jason” to eat yam cassarole. Mom complains and whines about being anxious because she has been DEPRIVED of planning any of her daughters’ weddings so she blurts out that its December 21st which pleases her MOM ! Yay! Youngest sister (cool girl who smokes) just laughs at her. 

   Jason (david) helps the dad sset up an turkey oil pit outside to DEPP FRY this turkey and casually says its fine we can leave this alone until its boiling while also very casually asking if he’d represent a politician if he had to, you know, just as an example. (Dad is a politician). they leave this oil to boil outside under a tree. 

   Brunette is actually thriving during a phone call for help because Hillary calls for reassurance and Brunette is suiting up for a surf date with surfer dude who applied for the job. 

  Oil is getting hotter and the cool sister’s turtleneck fiance hugs davids feet and is obsessed with feet. He talks about feet thats his thing he’s got a feet thing.

   ASDFGHJKL the turkey is ejected out fo the pot. no flames. Mom almost cusses. So the turkey is ruined and apparently thats all they had to eat so thanksgiving is at a Mexican restaurant now. Cool sisters old boyfriend is a waiter and mom takes a dig at him TO the cool sister that he hasn’t amounted to much. I feel like this will be important later. 

   OTHER sisters husband is STILL not here and she’s had to make up an excuse twice now. I feel like this will also be important later. David says he’s not a big golfer but apparently thats a no no because Hillary grabs his neck. OH apparently they met because he won a Tesla because he was so god at golf at a golf charity event and she interviewed the winner. Mom points this out they clear things up everything’s fine. 

  OK WOW Mexican restaurant server does Spanish impression then recognizes David who RESPONDS to the name David!!!! HHAHAHA he just handles it. shes tries fighting with him after dinner about it but he HANDLES HER, her handles her MOM in such a calm way and hes like ‘It’s your turn on the cot’ lol. (He’s still sleeping naked)

   There’s a late night convo to get closer. He’s got a girlfriend who he met in Mexico and he’s trying to win her back. She explains he’s actually being used by the girl. The girl’s just got to ‘realize’ she wants HIM. He loves print news. He loves dogs. He’s wearing a robe. They bond over eating late night carbs. They’re basically gal pals now. They’re becoming BFFs.

   He bonds with the mom while Hillary is snoring. HE FUCKIGN CALLS HER MOM. 

   MOM makes her wedding dress shop on Black Friday and David comes because otherwise he would have to give legal advice to the dad for something that is still unknown. Mom wants to see the kissing wheres the kissing??? Mom makes it clear she FUCKS 3 times a week. 

   CRAZY woman tries to steal dress at stores my boy David HANDLES it. 

   We find Dad has sold a boat and that is BAD. Xmas tree is fuckin BIG their house is fuckin BIG these ppl are loaded so this is some white collar crime problem. 

   Mom invites a Catholic priest to TALK with them about their wedding apparently you need to meet ant talk before he marries you. Apparently he needs to be baptized before the wedding. He’s jewish. 

  YOO she decides after all the lying and the dress purchasing that its time to end this grand charade. David packs to leave on a train and Hillary will say the wedding is off the next day. 

   Cool sister is cheating on pediatrist turtleneck with Mexican restaurant waiter. 

  Cool sister makes them kiss in front of mom. The KISS is magikal. 

  The Girl takes the tickets to Mexico and other sister who’s husband is not here is apparently ‘unchangeable’ and a good provider and she pregnant again yes it stays vague. 

YOOO i set out to make fun of this movie but Hillary shows up to the cafe where mean girl who’s using David was supposed to take the tickets to mexico and she kissed him and takes the tix back while rubbing davids happy engagement in her face!!!! 

    They sing her favorite song on the piano because he plays the piano and she can sing. They sing into each others eyes. You get it. 

   REAL JASON SHOWS UP with flowers.(because he didn’t actually get that promotion) SHE SHOWS REAL JASON TO FAMILY AS REAL JASON. 

   Cool sister breaks up with pediatrist turtleneck during tension. This diffuses tension. Good! What movie needs tension? Dad asks for lawyer-client privilege with now obviously non-lawyer David then offers up cool little sister now that she’s available. (this all happens within 25 seconds). 

   Mom is understandably hurt by David but somehow wants him to leave after their very real bonding moments because it might ‘hurt her chances’ with real Jason?!?! David defends Hillary and do you EVEN READ HER ArtICLES because I dO!! HE grills this mom and she now understands the error of her ways. 

   SO REAL JASON STAYS and David drives away?! She wants Jason to kiss her (he wont hes got work to do) she asks if he really loves her (he answered a phone call- come on bitch hes got work to do!) She’s realizing things are not ok. Dad (the arbiter of wisdom) asks what she REALLY wants. 

  Mom has seen the error of her ways. Her articles ARE GOOD! 

Do you love Jason?            No

Do you love David?           Mhm ;( lololololLOLOLOLO! 

Car doesn’t start up. She borrows the Tesla! HAHAHA

They throw REAL Jasons shit out on the curb!!! Mom brakes the vase dad calls him a cab other sister is not involved. 

She drives to his house and GETS WITH DAVIIIIIIIIDDDDD!!!!! camera pans up as they kiss yeaaassss!!!

Cut to: THEIR wedding with the dress she bought. She even hi-fives surfer dude (brunette brought him!). LONG hug with mom. She mouths “I LOVE YOU” to Hillary. A LAB PUPPY jumps into the car with them!!! Happy ending!!!!

#holiday engagement 

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: 9th December 2018

Geez, today was a busy week. Before we talk about the top 10, however, let’s just get the massive elephants out of the way.

CHRISTMAS NONSENSE

It’s the festive season and one way people celebrate the holidays is by listening to its music – usually, Christmas music, of course, and since I review all returning entries that I haven’t talked about yet, sigh... There are seven of these so I’m going to go as quick as possible, but just bear with me throughout this section because I really don’t like Christmas music all that much. Let’s just get it over with.

#39 – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Brenda Lee

This is “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, a song written by Johnny Marks and released in 1958 in the US, being left on the shelf for four years until its release in the UK in 1962. In 1963, it peaked at number-six and has since re-entered due to digital downloads, with one of its highest recent peaks being number-seven last year. It’s pretty inoffensive rockabilly, with some nice very-50s guitar licks coming in throughout, and some decently-sounding production, but really it’s not anything of internet until that sax solo. That solo is freaking gorgeous, and I’m glad it’s there, because otherwise this would just kind of fall to the wayside. Not sure I like Lee’s voice on here, it comes off as a bit nasal, but it’s not a big deal. It’s alright, I guess. I expected to say RIP here since she was popular such a long time ago, but no, she’s still alive and kicking. Good for her.

#36 – “Merry Christmas Everyone” – Shakin’ Stevens

Now this is where it all breaks down into dread. This song by Shakin’ Stevens is Godawful, mostly because of how painfully manufactured the whole thing is. It’s overproduced Christmas music that is just jolly feelings and nothing else. Those horns that kick in after the first verse are pretty cool, but Stevens doesn’t sound great here – or at least I can’t tell because he’s drowned in reverb – and the choir might as well be a computer for all I care. Also, the sax solo was cool the first time in Brenda Lee’s track, but here it’s just trite, especially when you add those shooby-doo-wops over it. This track was initially the Christmas number-one for 1985, and I understand why, but does it really have to come back every year since 2007 – for over 60 weeks in total? Oh, it peaked last year at #10 too. Let’s hope this upwards trend doesn’t continue.

#35 – “Santa Tell Me” – Ariana Grande

Now for a more recent one from arguably the biggest popstar in the world right now, with her 2014 song that actually failed to chart in the Top 40 initially until last year at #29, and that’s its peak so far... whilst I’ve never been a fan of the cleaner, refined Ariana Grande records, I do have a soft spot for this one. That melody is infectious and the sleigh bells complement the synth bass in a way I didn’t think they would, and it’s not like the drums are all that overpowering here, although a trap skitter would have worked better here (yeah, I know, not something I say often). It’s surprisingly romantic and sensual for a song with Santa in the title, actually, although it’s about men who have wronged her. Anyway, Ariana kills it but what else do you expect from a song from her at this point? It’s a good track, although the final chorus with the choir is really cluttered, just saying, it’s messy.

#30 – “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” – Michael Bublé

This here is Michael Bublé’s cover of traditional Christmas classic written in 1951 by Meredith Wilson, and it’s not great. Obviously, I mean, it’s Michael Bublé, ever since “Haven’t Met You Yet” he’s been utterly useless seasonal radio fodder. Bublé never really sounds bad but he never sounds interesting, and this production isn’t doing him any favours. It’s sickly sweet strings and brass for the most part, with some piano added in there for good measure, after what seems to be way too long of just airy synth, string and guitar noise – that’s really out of place, guys, why is this on the single edit? Ah, what else to say? Oh, right, nothing.

#26 – “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” – Band Aid

Oh, I know it’s Christmas time, alright, this song won’t let me forget it. I could ramble on about how preachy and awful this charity single is but other people have done it better. I just have four short things to say – 1.) this was the most popular song in the UK of the entire 80s. Yikes. 2.) This is the worst thing the Boomtown Rats have had any involvement in. They’re such a great band, hell so are Culture Club. How do Boy George, the Boomtown Rats, Ultravox, Phil Collins, U2, Kool & the Gang, Sting and Duran Duran make something this awful? They’re all absolutely fantastic musicians in their own right. 3.) That synth that kicks in after a while is pretty ugly, not gonna lie, and is unfitting for the condescending Christmas charity single angle they’re going for here – mostly because that’s what it really is. 4.) We’ve remade and reissued and re-entered this song too many times. Let it go, Britain. Please. We’re begging you. It’s for a good cause, and I appreciate how much money it’s raised, but it’s also garbage.

#18 – “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl

They use the word because it was the 80s, it’s not meant to mean homosexual and it’s not used in that context – albeit still a negative one – and the climate of Ireland, especially the Celtic punk scene, wasn’t exactly going to care about dropping that slur in their Christmas single. It should still be censored, though, I mean, black rappers saying the N-word is morally okay, but we still mute those, right? Anyway, this is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. It starts with a beautifully elegant piano melody, with the lead singer of the Pogues, Shane MacGowan, mumbling his way through his verse, but instead of people like Future or Lil Baby, there’s still a lot of sincerity there, I feel, and a lot of soul is put into expressing the lyrics here in the raspy tone that I absolutely love. I’m not going to talk much about the story here mostly because I’m not going to go in-depth, but it’s about a typical love story going awry at some point due to a betrayal. Oh, and the moment the Celtic traditional instruments come in is one of the best moments in music – ever. Kirsty MacColl sounds so lovely here, and the harmonisations in the chorus are fantastic. That flute solo is gorgeous, and the juxtaposition between “you’re a bum, you’re a punk, you’re an old s--- on junk, lying there almost dead as a drip on that bed” and the cheerful instrumental is just hilarious to me, especially since right after “Happy Christmas your a---, I thank God it’s our last” is immediately followed by the bombastic drunk sing-a-long chorus. The third verse is also such a great back-and-forth, man, I can’t even bring to words how much I admire and adore this piece of music. This is the best song I think I’ve ever talked about on this show, by far, but it could have easily not been close if “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders returned this week. We’ll just hope for next week, I guess. Rest in peace to Kirsty MacColl, gone much too young.

#14 – “Last Christmas” – WHAM!

Finally, we have our last Christmas song for this week’s holiday REVIEWING THE CHARTS special. It’s an anti-climactic end, to be honest, because I’m pretty indifferent to this song. It’s pretty 80s, to be fair, so I’ve got to like some of the cheesy falsetto vocalisations from the late George Michael at the start, as well as those repetitive synths that keep themselves from sounding awful by having those sleigh bells and pretty damn nice keys covering them. That chorus is iconic, but the rest of the lyrics are just forgettable. Honestly, it’s a good background song and it’s a well-written, catchy pop track with Michael putting in some good vocals throughout, but, it’s nothing special. Nothing but respect to George Michael, though, rest in peace, he’s a pop legend over here.

Christmas Conclusion

The best Christmas song on the charts right now is easily “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, but an Honourable Mention goes to Mariah Carey for “All I Want for Christmas is You”. Yup, that’s still here, we’ll get to that in a second. Worst of the Week goes to Band Aid for “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” You should be ashamed, Bob. Dishonourable Mention is going to Shakin’ Stevens for “Merry Christmas Everyone”. Other Christmas songs you should check out are “Christmas in Harlem” by Kanye West, Teyana Taylor and CyHi tha Prynce featuring Musiq Soulchild (heck, check out the longer version if you wish), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders, “Stop the Cavalry” by Jona Lewie, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” by Tyler, the Creator and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” by DMX. Yes, those last two actually exist. Now, this Christmas section has taken longer and is longer to read than about half of my normal episodes, so I think we should get straight into...

Top 10

Well, this all feels a bit more familiar. “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande is still at the top of the charts five weeks in, and it doesn’t really seem to have much competition.

Ava Max, however, is making a surprise run for the top, up four spots to number-two, with “Sweet but Psycho”. I wouldn’t exactly be complaining if this hit the top either.

“Without Me” by Halsey is up a spot to number-three.

We have a new entry from the most recent X Factor winner, Dalton Harris, with a cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Christmas classic “The Power of Love”, featuring James Arthur. I guess awful Christmas songs aren’t going away for that long, huh? Obviously this is Dalton’s first top 10, and Arthur’s fifth.

“Thursday” by Jess Glynne is down two spaces to number-three.

Up a whopping 28 spaces this week to number-six is, you guessed it, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”. This isn’t its first top 10 turn, and it’s not its peak, but still impressive to reach here nonetheless.

This means “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is down five spaces to number-seven.

“Rewrite the Stars” by James Arthur and Anne-Marie has actually gained nine spaces, surprisingly, and to my dismay, to number-eight, becoming Arthur’s sixth and Anne-Marie’s fifth.

Oh, and if you wanted even worse news, up an even larger 29 spaces is “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez, becoming both their first (and hopefully for 6ix9ine, only) top 10 hit at number-nine. I like the song, but I don’t like Tekashi, to say the least.

We have another new entry at #10 this week with “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus. This is Ronson’s sixth top 10 hit and Cyrus’ fourth (yeah, I thought she had more too).

Now, instead of separating what happened on the charts into Dropouts, Climbers, Returning Entries, Fallers and such, let’s separate into two sections: “What Survived” and “What Suffered”.

What Survived

What survived means essentially everything that still managed to chart this week, and I’m actually surprised by how much power some of these songs have. Going in reverse order, I have no idea how “Arms Around You” by XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee and Maluma managed to cling on despite a 17-space fall to #40. “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down 16 to #38, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong is down four to #37, “Empty Space” by James Arthur is down 10 to #34 (why did James Arthur of all people have the strength to stay during the avalanche?), “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is down eight to #33, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper is down 27 to #32 (considering both streaming cuts and Christmas bloodbath), “Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker has returned to #31 for some reason, “when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish is down seven to #28 (again, surprised this one’s still here), “Taki Taki” by DJ Snake, Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez is down eight to #27, “1999” by Charli XCX and Troye Sivan is down 11 to #24, “Polaroid” by James Blue, Liam Payne and Lennon Stella is down 11 to #23, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is down eight to #22, “Better” by Khalid is down five to #20, “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down seven to #16, as is “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Travis Scott and Offset right next to it at #15, “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is down five to #12, and everything else that’s currently charting is either simply not notable (a drop or climb less than four spaces), in the top 10, a new arrival, a Christmas re-entry or in the top 10. Jesus. Now, what’s gone?

What Suffered

This is a little nicer name for what’s dropped out in the absolute onslaught of Christmas music and new arrivals (all returning and new entries this week total to 12 songs that weren’t on the chart before). This week was an absolute bloodbath, and these are the murder victims. Former #1 “Shotgun” by George Ezra is out from #30, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is out from #28, “AirForce” by Digdat is out from the #20 debut, “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes is out prematurely from #27, “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble is out again from #36, another former #1 “Eastside” by benny blanco, Halsey and Khalid is out from #31, “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is out from #32, “I Found You” by benny blanco and Calvin Harris is out from #29, “MIA” by Bad Bunny featuring Drake is out from #35, “Always Remember Us this Way” by Lady Gaga is out from #39, “Goodbye” by Jason Derulo and David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj and Willy William is out from #40 and finally, “Back and Forth” by MK, Jonas Blue and Becky Hill is out from #37. I’d say it’s time to move onto the New Arrivals – but before, I’d like to say that the BBC redesigned their UK Top 40 page, and it looks pretty cool. Anyways:

NEW ARRIVALS

#29 – “MAMA” – 6ix9ine featuring Kanye West and Nicki Minaj

Of course, DUMMY BOY only had a stunted tracking week last week, so we have the effects of the album this week. This is 6ix9ine’s third top 40 hit in the UK, Nicki Minaj’s thirty-seventh (yeah, I know, it’s insane), and Ye’s even crazier forty-third, and to be honest, it’s inoffensive, which is something I’d never thought I’d say about a 6ix9ine song, but, hey, it is what it is. Murda Beatz’s production is pretty cool for what it is, and I do like the eerie synth loop. 6ix9ine’s delivery is lazy and boring – and I still think we shouldn’t let rappers say they kick women out of doors – but he doesn’t last long so when Kanye comes in with that “man, oh my God” refrain it gets so much better. I’m so used to Kanye West’s pop-culture rambling, social media criticism/obsession, somehow relating to women nonsense he brings to nearly every single verse he does recently that I’m used to it, it’s just something I’ve heard before delivered relatively comedically. Nicki’s refrain and verse actually has some work put into it, unlike the dudes’ bars, so yeah, I appreciate that, although her delivery and cadence is exhaustingly blunt and straightforward, to the point where it’s just kind of tiring. There’s some decent wordplay there, I guess. This is okay enough, and pretty much top-tier Tekashi to be honest. “KANGA” also featuring Ye is even better, though.

#17 – “Going Bad” – Meek Mill featuring Drake

Meek Mill and Drake working together is something I expected to happen anyway. Meek and Drake have seemingly squashed their beef and have relaxed after the “Back to Back” situation and their popular 2015/2016 beef that revealed a lot about Drake, specifically his ghostwriting from Quentin Miller, and eventually stressed Meek’s relationship with Nicki enough for them to break up as a result. Oh, and you better believe they mention “back to back” because of course they do, it’s the only funny wordplay they can conjure up, apparently. This is Meek Mill’s first ever top 40 hit in the UK (congratulations) and in stark contrast, Drake’s forty-fifth (yes, even more than Kanye), and his thirteenth just this year (probably and hopefully his last), and it’s mediocre. I didn’t know what to expect because I’ve never really cared enough about Meek to listen to him, but an out-of-tune piano absolutely demolished by some bass while Drake spouts off with stuff like “I got more slaps than the Beatles” isn’t exactly the best first impression. Is there a chorus here, or not? I can’t tell, everything’s just kind of the same until the ad-lib break that’s long enough for Genius to count it as an entirely different section of the song than in Meek’s verse. It was “Interlude” when I looked but it might be “Post-Chorus” now. Yeah, it should be clear I don’t care enough about this song. I do like Drake’s delivery in the hook, though, it’s pretty energetic, but not enough to save it.

#10 – “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” – Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus

So, yeah, I like this. It starts with some beautiful strings right before Miley Cyrus fades in with her country twang that I’m starting to really appreciate, and those guitars come in to complement her and the deeper bass that I like the addition of, it really contrasts the otherwise pretty light production, that seems to be dramatic but kind of unfitting for the lyrical content about how the world can hurt you but heartbreak is the worst possible thing, because despite the beat’s melodrama it’s too upbeat to really work here, I feel. Ah, well, the hook is pretty memorable, and the orchestral stings is just one little barely-noticeable production quirk that I can talk about, seriously, Mark Ronson puts so much effort into crafting these songs over the years, it’s pretty great. It may be a bit too repetitive and slow for my taste, but, yeah, I can dig this. Good song, just not much to say about it.

#4 – “The Power of Love” – Dalton Harris featuring James Arthur

The girl gets Leona Lewis, the Scouse dude gets Kaiser Chiefs, yet the WINNER gets James Arthur?! Really, James Arthur? Poor dude. You must know you’re an amazingly talented singer when you get James Arthur put on your song and you still make a surprisingly decent winner’s single, hell, even win in the first place. Arthur is such an awful vacuum of talent, I was scared Harris would be affected by this but no, even with my half-bothering with the show this year I can tell he’s been consistently great, and he’s definitely not bad on here either, although the production has no unique charm to it and is just plastic Syco production as you expect, with James Arthur bringing an above-average performance (this means still pretty bad) with his moaning and straining that just pains me to listen to. Seriously, James, let’s have a cactus-to-man talk and let me teach you how to not sound like my dead cat who just popped some Xanax.

Conclusion

Worst of the Week goes to Dalton Harris and James Arthur for “The Power of Love” – at least “Going Bad” has some energy and legitimate soul to it, although Meek Mill and Drake still get Dishonourable Mention. Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus take Best of the Week home for “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart”, and hell Kanye and Nicki made “MAMA” bearable enough for them and 6ix9ine to get Honourable Mentions. See ya next week, where we’ll probably see a few more Christmas songs. Delightful.