#confessions of a cancer patient

[fatedwithmbc]

I never wear heels. Ok, I ALMOST never wear heels, but I did when I went to church on Christmas Eve. The next day my heel felt bruised. I chalked it up to a poor shoe decision and figured it would heal itself as time went on. Here we are a month later and I have finally gone to the Podiatrist. It’s not a bruise: I have Insertional Achilles Tendonitis and a Sural Nerve Impingement. Best case scenario steroids and injections will resolve my issues. Physical Therapy may be an option. Worst case scenario could require surgery. I was informed it’s a major surgery as I have would have to have the piece of bone removed from my heel that is aggravating the Achilles. For the next week I’m on steroids, have stretching to do and had to buy a more flexible sneaker. If there is no improvement, it’s injection time at my next appointment.

Despite this being all foot related, my MBC became forefront of the appointment. As I was having my foot x-rayed, the technician asked if I was pregnant or trying and I said matter of factly I could not conceive. She asked why and we began a discussion about my diagnosis and she couldn’t fathom it because of how young I looked. She seemed genuinely concerned and shocked. She asked about my metastasis and how my treatment was coming along. I felt heard by a stranger. And it felt genuine.

My doctor also asked about my MBC as the steroids will reduce the effectiveness of my aromatase inhibitor, but it’s the most conservative treatment for my foot.

I never thought my foot appointment would have so much to do with my cancer diagnosis and yet nothing to do with it at all. It was an interesting appointment.

I know I haven’t had an entry in quite sometime but the interactions today stuck with me and I felt like I needed to get the out of my head. I’m glad to have this space for these type of scenarios.

[arctic-hands]

Also I'm totes going all the way bald when they shave me for surgery. The neurosurgeon emphasized that even my short (yet still too long) hair will still cover the scar but a) I'm showing that badass scar off to anyone who looks at me and b) I've been wanting to experiment with shaving all my hair off anyway but have been worried on how I'll be perceived, so brain surgery is the perfect time to experiment with it

[starhoppin]

pick a picture; how does your crush feel about you?

pile 1 -> pile 2 -> pile 3

disclaimer; this is a general reading! these messages may not fit everyone. please take what resonates and leave the rest.

「 pile one 」

justice (cb: two of cups rv, seven of swords), eight of pentacles (cb: six of cups, wheel of fortune rv), the high priestess rv (cb: queen of swords, three of pentacles)

they feel like there is a disconnect or imbalance in your connection. you might feel as though they're keeping secrets from you, but it looks like they're simply feeling overwhelmed with their responsibilities at the moment. i believe that it's only a matter of time before they come forward and explain their recent behavior. this person wants to work on a relationship with you, but they seem to be holding themselves back. past romantic experiences and/or a negative mindset may be causing this person to feel as though they have bad luck when it comes to love. consequently, they seem hesitant to share their feelings since they're concerned about past cycles repeating. they're feeling confused and disconnected from their intuition. you may not be very expressive with your feelings towards them, and that is causing their hesitancy. they're concerned about whether you'll accept them or not if they come forward with an offer. also, when i was reading, i heard the song burnin' up by the jonas brothers, specifically the opening lyrics "i'm hot, you're cold." that song may resonate with some of you.

[potential initials] J, P, Q, E, U, W

[potential zodiac signs] leo, aries, cancer

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「 pile two 」

knight of pentacles (cb: the devil, knight of wands), page of swords (cb: nine of wands, the fool rv), the emperor (cb: three of cups, the moon, the tower)

this person is working on making you an offer. both the knight of pentacles and the knight of wands appeared so it looks like this person is presenting them as a calm and patient suitor, but i think this person is fighting the urge to just rush into a relationship with you. you may be like an obsession for this person (i'm not seeing it in a negative manner), but they have to tamp down their impulses when it comes to you. you make this person feel reckless. your crush may have had a habit of rushing into relationships in the past and it didn't end well. they don't want that to happen with you. they could be observing you from afar, purposefully keeping their distance and slowly getting to know you better as they work on themselves. this person wants a traditional relationship with you; however, they may be concerned about how they should approach you. because of their passion, they're worried that they'll come in hot and heavy and potentially scare you off. you might actually be friends with this person. it seems as though they feel like they have everything to lose if things don't work in their favor; if they confess and you reject them, they're not only losing you as a romantic partner, but they'll also ruin your friendship.

[potential initials] G, R, J, I, S oddly specific message for someone: as i was pulling these initials, i heard the name "riri." that might be a nickname for you or your person.

[potential zodiac signs] libra, aquarius, scorpio, taurus

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「 pile three 」

the star rv (cb: ten of swords rv, page of wands), the world (cb: eight swords, five of wands rv), two of cups rv (cb: the high priestess rv, ten of wands)

your crush is feeling a bit hopeless regarding your connection. as i was shuffling, i heard the song 1000 times by sara bareilles - i highly recommend you listen to it. the lyrics that stuck out to me were in the first verse "back of the room, looking at you. counting the steps between us" and "in another life, my teeth and tongue. speak aloud what until now i've only sung." something has occurred between you that has caused them a lot of pain. it feels like this person wants to be courageous and pursue something with you, but something is holding them back from taking this leap and confessing. they feel like they no longer have access to you in some way. this person seems to be trapped by this mindset. they feel as though they're biting their tongue and staying silent to prevent an argument or conflict between you two. because of their perception of your connection, this person may be actively trying to repress their feelings but it's taking a huge mental toll on them. they feel like if they can just pretend they don't have feelings for you, they'll no longer feel burdened.

[potential initials] B, J, T, U, R

[potential zodiac signs] cancer, capricorn, virgo, aquarius

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tarot deck used in this reading: cirque du tarot

[shelbystales]

Best Aid - Part Eight

Modern Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist

Previous parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Summary: you are a young doctor in Birmingham. After a crazy incident, Thomas Shelby shows up at your hospital. You don’t know much about the man everyone seems to fear, but you definitely will.

Warning: swearing, mention of torture and panick attack

A/N:  Comment and interact, tell me what you think! it means a looot.

English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

On your next shift, the first thing you did when you arrived at the hospital was go straight to John Doe's room to see if he was still there. 

To your surprise, yes, he was still there. 

He had already undergone jaw surgery the day before, and to an even greater surprise, he was awake. He stared at the room's window as if he was hypnotized.

"Hi," you said, entering the room. "Good to see you awake," you smiled.

He shifted his attention from the window to you but didn't say anything. Well, he couldn't speak, as his mouth was paralyzed on the side of the jaw surgery, and it would probably stay that way for a while. 

His face was much less swollen and deformed then you had remembered.

You approached him to get the medical record and check the progress of his exams. "My name is Y/N; I was the doctor on duty the night you arrived. Do you feel any pain?" He subtly shook his head, and when you asked if you could examine him, he gave a small nod.

During the examination, you proceeded with caution, aware of the potential trauma he might have experienced. The signs of infection from his blood test had decreased, and the wound appeared to be healing well. Other than that, he was healing well.

After completing the examination, you left the room and returned to the trauma center, where you met with the shift residents and assigned tasks.

You started to overthink why Thomas hadn't stolen your patient, but as you created a thousand questions in your head, you just decided to accept the situation and move on with your day. After all, he did comply with your request.

Continuing your rounds, you attended to other patients.

During a break in the staff lounge, Jeremy joined you with his usual big smile. "Hey girl, how are you?" he asked, taking a seat beside you.

"Hey," you smiled back. "I'm good, you?"

"Great. Doctor says my fiancé has prostatitis," he said, relieved.

"Good, some antibiotics should solve it. Might take a while, though." you smiled

"Yeah... no sex for a while… well, at least it's not cancer," he joked.

"Dodged a bullet, huh?" you chuckled.

"Yes, yes. I was worried," he sighed. "Are you really okay? I didn't see you leave last shift."

You sighed, debating how much to share with Jeremy. "It's been a wild ride, Jer. There's this whole situation with the patient, and then late at night, Thomas showed up. It's like a never-ending rollercoaster with him."

Jeremy's smile faded, replaced by genuine concern. "What?" he asked, leaning in slightly.

"Yeah. And I fucking had a panic attack after he told me he would discharge John Doe. But then... he was so kind, helping me through the panic. I just... I don't know. I'm so confused about everything," you confessed.

"He just showed up and wanted to discharge the unconscious, almost dying man?" he asked, and you nodded.

"And as I argued he couldn't, I suddenly couldn't breathe," you shrugged. "I need a break. I told him I didn't want to see him. He just doesn't care."

Jeremy's expression turned from concern to disbelief. "That's insane. He is insane.”

“Just figuring that out now?” you frowned and sighed “But… At the same time, he brought the man in, and I don’t think he did all that to him. Also, he didn't steal my patient… and he was so so gentle to me.”

Jeremy furrowed his brows. “Okay, listen up, I love you. But you've got to figure out what you want from him, Y/N. It's not healthy to be caught in this constant state of confusion. You either want him or not."

“I don’t,” you blurted out.

“Shut up, you don’t. If you didn’t, what he did or didn’t do wouldn’t bother you,” he said, cutting through your protest with a knowing look.

You sighed, realizing Jeremy might be onto something. The conflicting emotions and the chaos Thomas brought into your life were undeniable, and deep down, you questioned your own motives.

“I just can't make sense of it, Jer. He's this enigma, this complicated man who seems to defy any logic i create,” you confessed, running a hand through your hair.

“People like that can be dangerous to get involved with, Y/N. I don’t want to see you getting hurt. Yes, he’s hot as fuck, might fuck you senselless, but we need boundaries to keep ourselves safe sometimes” Jeremy said, genuine concern etched across his face.

“Yeah I know. I just need time to figure things out,” you replied, your mind still swirling with uncertainty.

“Maybe just fuck him and ghost him” He smiled 

“That is definitely not the best option” you chuckled

“Yeah… i just. I want you to get laid. Maybe with someone else. You deserve it. Some dick could make your thoughts clearer” he leaned back as his big smile continued crossing his face

“Yeah, right. As if I have a line of people that want to fuck me”

“Oh girl… you are so oblivious. Let's start with all the male residents! And some nurses… Jesus you have no idea” He said surprised

“I’m gonna go. You forget it, i’m not getting involved with anyone in this hospital” you said

“Okay” he shrugged as you stood up and left

As the day progressed, you found yourself once again immersed in the demanding environment of the hospital.

In the quiet moments between duties, you couldn't help but reflect on Jeremy's words. The need for clarity tugged at you, urging you to confront the feelings you failed to understand.

As you left the hospital that day, the internal conflict within you raged on. Thomas Shelby's presence seemed to evoke a myriad of emotions - confusion, frustration, and an undeniable attraction that left you questioning your own judgment.

When you walked into the lobby of the hotel, you caught sight of Thomas engaged in a serious discussion with his aunt, Polly. The lines on Thomas's face spoke of stress and tension, a departure from his usual composed demeanor.

You stood there, observing from a distance, deciding if you should or not talk to him. Set some things straight. Maybe all you wanted to hear was that he didn’t do anything to the man. Or maybe that he cares about others and that’s the reason he left the man in the hospital care. Or maybe… just maybe… you wanted to hear his husky voice…

As Thomas and Polly concluded their conversation, you observed him preparing to leave the lobby, a sense of urgency evident on his face. Your eyes met, and a shy smile from you prompted a momentary pause, marked by a furrowed brow.

"Can we talk?," you mouthed standind a few feets away from him.

He slightly nodded. Stopping in the middle of the lobby and following you after you started to walk in the direction of the elevators.

As you stepped into the elevator, the atmosphere between you and Thomas was heavy. The air charged with unresolved tension.

The doors closed, enveloping both of you in a temporary cocoon of privacy.

"Alright, Y/N, what's on your mind?" Thomas inquired, his voice low and steady. His posture, rigid yet composed.

You took a deep breath, your gaze fixed on the floor, steeling yourself for the words about to spill out. "I need you to be honest,"

"About?" he replied, his piercing gaze fixed on you. 

"The man," you said, meeting his gaze, searching for any hint of emotion in his stoic posture—a true master of the poker face.

"What about him?" His response, delivered with an air of nonchalance

"Did you do that to him?" you pressed

"I already told you that, eh?" he countered, glancing around the elevator as it announced the floor—the floor to your room.

"You didn't," you asserted, the tension escalating with each passing moment.

"Yeah, I didn't do it," he admitted, his eyes meeting yours briefly before the elevator doors opened. You exited first, and he followed, the charged atmosphere trailing into the corridor and eventually into your hotel room.

In the room, you moved with purpose, entering the kitchen to fetch two glasses of water. Placing them on the dining table, you invited him to sit. 

"How long will this take?" he inquired, his posture a blend of impatience and reservation.

"Do you have somewhere else to be?" you countered, your eyes locked onto his.

"I do" he answered shortly

"If you want to fix this, take a seat," you added, leaning back and crossing your arms, awaiting his response.

Thomas hesitated for a moment, his gaze lingering on you, weighing the options. After a pause that seemed to stretch on, he finally relented, his movements fluid yet hesitant as he took a seat at the dining table.

You observed him closely, noting the subtle nuances in his posture.

"Why did you bring him to the hospital if you weren't responsible for what happened to him?" you questioned, your voice steady. 

His eyes met yours, a flicker of something unreadable passing through them. "I never said I wasn't responsible. I said I didn't do it," he responded, the words hanging in the space between you like an unspoken challenge.

“Fuck you” you filled your mouth to say those words, and it felt good “What the fuck is that suppossed to mean?”

"He's a friend," he admitted

"Why didn't you just say that from the beginning?" you retorted, frustration evident in your tone.

Thomas's gaze remained steady, a mixture of regret and resolve in his eyes. "There are things that go beyond simple explanations."

"No, no. Some explanations are pretty simple," you shrugged, your frustration simmering beneath the surface.

"Y/N," he began, his Birmingham accent adding a distinct cadence to his words. "If I started spillin' every detail, you'd be tangled in a mess you're better off avoiding. Because then, you would ask me why my friend was like that. And I would have to tell you, since we're bein' honest, that he was kidnapped and tortured for information about me. Because that's what happens to people around me. And you would ask me why, and I tell you, that's business, and me business is a difficult thing to explain" he continued, his voice carrying the weight of a reality that seemed both distant and uncomfortably close.

The room echoed with a heavy silence, the weight of Thomas's revelations settling around you both. You knew exactly what his business was after a few hours googling him, no. A few hours fucking stalking the man.

"I never asked for any of this, Thomas," you finally spoke, your voice a mix of frustration and vulnerability. "I never signed up for a life entangled in your... business."

Thomas leaned back, his eyes fixed on you, acknowledging the truth in your words. "And I never asked you to. But here we are."

"I don't want to end up like your friend," you stated firmly, your voice carrying the weight of your fears and the boundaries you needed to set.

Thomas's eyes, now revealed a hint of regret. "You won't," he replied, his voice softer than before. "I promise."

You sighed, feeling the weight of the situation settling on your shoulders. Taking both hands to your face, you couldn't shake off the stress that had crept into your being.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his usually stoic demeanor giving way to an unexpected tenderness.

"Stressed," you answered

"Aren't we all?" he remarked, a rare hint of vulnerability in his voice.

"Is your life always like this?" you inquired, curiosity peeking.

"No, it has never been like this," he admitted, taking a sip of the water in front of him. "Could be a glass of whisky, eh?" he suggested, a faint smile playing on his lips.

"I don't remember the last time I drank whisky," you confessed.

"Really?" he raised an eyebrow, glancing around the room. "I think there's a bottle somewhere."

"There's a drink cart in the bedroom," you informed him.

After a brief search, he found the cart and walking into the living room with the bottle in hand he looked at you for approval. "One glass?"

"Sure, why not?" you agreed, welcoming the distraction 

Thomas poured a modest amount of whisky into two glasses, the amber liquid catching the soft glow of the room. As he handed you a glass, his fingers brushed against yours in a fleeting touch, making your heart race wiht excitement. 

As the whisky warmed your insides, Thomas leaned back, the weight of his own burdens evident in the lines of his face. You couldn't help but notice how well he looked, how well dressed he was. If you just saw him crossing the streed, you would never believe that the man in front of you was a fucking gang leader.

The air between you carried a mixture of tension and a strange camaraderie born out of the unexpected intimacy of the moment.

"This is better," Thomas remarked, studying the liquid in his glass after taking a sip.

"You know, this isn't how I imagined our conversation going," you admitted, a wry smile playing on your lips.

Thomas chuckled, the sound rich and resonant. "Nor did I, Y/N."

Ozzy appeared, strolling in from the bedroom and hopping onto the couch, where he promptly settled down for a nap. You couldn't help but smile as you watched him make himself comfortable.

"Do you like cats?" you asked, curious about Thomas's preferences.

"No," he answered bluntly.

"Get out of my room," you joked, eliciting a chuckle from him. "Why not?"

He shrugged. "I just don't."

"Yeah, you look like a dog person."

"I have horses, I don't have a dog."

"Oh, right. Rich people pets," you teased, a playful smile on your face.

Thomas raised an eyebrow at your playful jab. "Horses are not exactly house pets," he remarked, a hint of amusement in his tone.

"Fair point," you conceded, enjoying the banter that seemed to ease the tension. "So, what does Thomas Shelby do for fun? Besides making me insane, of course"

His gaze flickered with a subtle mix of contemplation and amusement. "Fun... hm, let's say I like riding horses, reading, and chess."

"Chess, huh? I bet I can win” you smiled, gaze locked on his

Thomas Shelby leaned back, a mysterious glint in his eyes as he considered your challenge about chess. "You can try," he said, his smirk hinting at a quiet confidence.

The air between you felt lighter. You felt good about it. He could be a good company. 

"What happened?" you asked, meeting his gaze. Thomas frowned slightly, not understanding what you meant. "How did a guy that likes horses and plays chess turn my life upside down? making me feel like I couldn't breathe for days? Made me fear my life. At one point I felt so paranoid that i could swear there was someone was following me down the hospital. Because the Thomas in here now... I like this Thomas."

There was a moment of silence, Thomas's gaze held a mixture of contemplation and a touch of vulnerability you failed to see before.

"I already told you I didn't intend for any of this, Y/N," he began, his voice softer than usual “Believe me if you want, I didn't want you to get caught in it. But then, I woke up and you were already involved”

"I know," you admitted, your voice reflecting a mixture of gratitude and apprehension. "But I don't know how to navigate through this. It's like stepping into a world or a war I never knew existed."

He reached across the table, his hand covering yours in a gesture of reassurance that sent a little jolt through you. "Look, I want you to know that I won't leave you alone in the chaos I've brought. Ok?", You nodded 

His touch, warm and reassuring, sent a subtle thrill through you, awakening a desire you hadn't fully acknowledged since he walked in here tonight. As your eyes locked with his, an unspoken promise hung in the air, and for a brief moment, you found myself teetering on the edge of exploring something deeper with Thomas Shelby.

you cleared your throat, a nervous habit that betrayed the tumultuous thoughts racing through your mind. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" you managed to inquire, hoping to redirect the conversation and temper the rising anticipation. The effects of the whisky were starting to weave their magic, adding a layer of haziness to your judgment.

"I do," he sighed taking his hand from yours and adjusting his suit. "I enjoyed our talk. Are we in a better place?"

"Yeah, just... don't bring me more near-death guys. Please," you chuckled, the sound echoing in the room.

"And who would I take them to?," he replied, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

“I don't know" you shrugged "Government health system is avaible in birmingham"

He chuckled "yes, i have a hospital so that I can send my friends to the public system" he mocked

"Well... can I just ask you to try and be honest? That's all I really need from you. I don't want to fear you” 

"Are you sure the truth won't make you do exactly that?,"

"So far it hasn't, the other way around actualy" you answered

"Fine. That's a challenging thing to ask me, but sure. I can try," he agreed.

"Good," you smiled.

"Have a good night, Y/N," he said, starting to stand up. As he rose, something compelled him to lean down, and he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

"You too," you replied, feeling a strange mix of surprise and comfort. As he headed toward the door, you couldn't help but blurt out, "Wait, why didn’t you steal my patient?"

He stopped in his tracks, turning back to face you. "I couldn’t have him die on me, and… I trust you," he explained, his words hanging in the air. It left you with a complex swirl of emotions.

"Can I ask his name?" you inquired.

"Johnny Dogs. He's not registered, by the way. So, keep it as John Doe. If people start asking too many questions, you tell me," he instructed, and you nodded. His gaze holding yours for a moment longer before he walked out.

With a deep sigh, you sank back into your chair, contemplating the unexpected twists of the day.

The Thomas you saw in here now was the same one you welcomed into your home and that version of Thomas was surprisingly good company. That was the Thomas who drew you in, the one you found yourself attracted to. Yet, how could he embody two entirely different personas simultaneously? one you felt like punching and other you felt like kissing...

At least, he trusted you.

The knowledge of his trust provided a welcome boost to your self-esteem. Despite the whirlwind of confusion and complexity, you couldn't deny the comfort in knowing that, in his own enigmatic way, Thomas Shelby trusted in you.

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[baconpncakes]

Okay in Son of a Coma Guy (3.07), Wilson asks House "Why my pad? Foreman, Cameron and Chase's pads are just as convenient. But their association with you is involuntary. They're employees. I associate with you through choice and any relationship that involves choice, you have to see how far you can push before it breaks." House initially deflects but later ends up confessing that Wilson is right when he says "Maybe I don't wanna push this until it breaks."

This is a pattern with House, he's terrified of being abandoned. He did it with Stacy. He did it with his first team. And he's terrified that Wilson specifically is going to leave him. In Baggage (6.21) House tells Nolan "I can say whatever I want to him, and he'll never leave." And when Nolan replies that he's kind of leaving now, he's putting Sam first, prioritizing his girlfriend over you, House just says "For now." After they get married and divorced again, House can move back in.

It takes until season six for House to be this secure in his relationship with Wilson, over fifteen years, and even then he's lashing out and heartbroken because Wilson is choosing Sam over him. And in Son of a Coma guy, when Wilson says that House is trying to fast forward through what he sees as the inevitable– Wilson leaving– Wilson knows he's right because he's seen this before, he watched House do it with Stacy twice.

And my POINT is- I bet Wilson has also been on the other side of this before. After the infarction, when House is (up to this point in his life) at his lowest, he is angry and he is in pain and the person he loved the most is the person who did this to him, she went against his wishes and violated his trust and crippled him and then left. He's mad at Cuddy for letting it happen and he doesn't have a relationship with his parents and Stacy is gone, so now it's just Wilson. And House, in all of his misery and pain and self-destruction, would be cruel and try to push Wilson away too.

And I think it'd all come to a moment where House is telling Wilson that he doesn't need pity, or that Wilson has a wife to go home to and real patients to treat, and doesn't he have a nurse to flirt with, don't you have anything better to do than feed off my neediness- and Wilson finally interrupts and says "House. Just stop. We both know I'm not going anywhere. Can you please give it a rest? Just for now." And House just nods. And they don't bring it up again.

And later when Wilson has cancer, he is dying in House's living room and tells House leave him alone. He's pathetic and he spent his whole life being good and trying to offer empty platitudes to dying people going through exactly what he is now and "I should have spent my life being more like you. Should have been a manipulative, self-centered, narcissistic ass, who brought misery to everything and everyone in his life." Because then he'd feel like he deserved it.

And House just gives him the last of his Vicodin and accepts that. Because Wilson is angry and scared and in pain and House has been there. And the next morning after the treatment, Wilson doesn't remember exactly what he said but he tries to apologize and House won't take it because Wilson was dying he can't be blamed for it. And then Wilson lets House help him down the hall.

House and Wilson knock each other's hands away when they try to offer support (literally and figuratively), but in the end they always accept that help. And no matter what they throw at each other, they know that it's the pain talking. They understand. And they keep helping and keep loving each other anyway.

[dduane]

You probably get this a lot about your works, but the Young Wizards series fully shaped me as a person. I read them during elementary/middle school before the internet was 24/7 thing. And I would go out and run around in the forest pretending to be a Wizard. I still cannot get over how creative your version of magic was and the alternate universe with the sentient cars!! And something that always stuck with me is the scene where Nita and her mom are talking about her mom having cancer and they end the scene with her mom taking a sip of her cold coffee.

I'm still holding onto hope that it gets picked up for a show because it's SO good!

All my love forever.

Thanks so much! I'm glad the books were there for you. :)

And I'm waiting patiently too. After all, who knows what unexpected thing might happen some day? "All things come to the one who waits." (As long as the one who waits works like hell while waiting...)

...Though I confess I still wish I could get a glimpse into whatever unusual timeline branched out in the alternate universe where Disney actually bought the film rights to The Door Into Fire in 1980. :)))))))) (Instead of simply inquiring about them and then backing hastily away...)

[danganronpafan777]

Request—-> SDRA2 girlies with a basically “perfect” S/o. (Gen-neutral) Like they can learn ANYTHING in a span of a week, and are also very kind. But they have very neglectful parents who don’t care about them. Like S/o could win an Olympic medal/solve world hunger/cure cancer.. but the parents won’t care no matter what S/o does. So the gals see reader trying to make their parents proud but the Parents. Just. Don’t. Care. Also, I can imagine S/o making up excuses for them like “Nah my parents love me. They’re just busy is all! :D” (S/o is in delulu land. Bonus point if reader is getting bunt out too)

“Delulu land” lol

Setsuka Chiebukuro:

Perfect, huh? Would you mind if she put it to the test? 

Every week, Setsuka would give you another skill to master, and every week you beat her in her own game. Even with her robotic eye, she lost a round of billiards to you! 

She would tease you a bit, and ruffle your hair, but made sure that you weren't overworking yourself just to prove her wrong. After only a few weeks, Setsuka developed feelings for you 

Despite how 'perfect' you were, she loved catching you off guard. The moment you accepted her confession, she dipped you for a kiss.

She wasn't too worried about meeting your parents, planning to just be herself and work her charm. When your parents told the two of you to leave, as they were too busy, Setsuka immediately disliked them. 

"That was a bit rude, eh, N/n?"

"Don't mind them! They're glad to meet you, they’re just busy right now!"

She didn't buy it, but she calmly held your hand and led you away from them. The two of you spent the rest of the day together, and Setsuka never hesitated to congratulate you or tell you how proud she was of you after you aced her challenges from then on. 

She wasn't upfront, but would drop small hints about your parents, maybe even asking a few questions about your past with them. You didn't see the harm in it, but she was slowly making you realize the truth. It wasn't until a few weeks later, when she was walking you home from school that it all seemed to dawn on you. 

"Setsuka...my parents... Do you think they...?"

She gave your hand a squeeze, and patted your head,

"It doesn't matter what they think, N/n. You are perfect the way you are, and you shouldn't push yourself just to get their attention."

"Then what should I do..?"

Setsuka smiled back at you, 

"Nothing, just be yourself. I love you for you, N/n."

Your eyes felt watery as she pulled you into a hug, kissing you on the forehead. The two of you began to walk to her place, hand in hand, Setsuka whispering you words of reassurance every step of the way. 

When burnout hit, she set up an array of snacks and the two of you layed on her bed, the TV playing absentmindedly in the background. She played with your hair as you laid your head on her chest

Even if you didn't have your parents support, you had hers all the way. And you always will.

Yoruko Kabuya:

Yoruko didn't believe you were perfect in the slightest. It was impossible for someone the be perfect at everything, right?

She was glad you didn't take offense to her skepticism, even taking it as a challenge. She had to hide how impressed she was every time you mastered a skill she had never even heard of, not noticing how she was already falling for you 

She was a tsundere around you for months, but you patiently waited for her to confess on her own, accepting her confession with a smug grin on your face. Yoruko couldn't decide if she wanted to lightly smack your face away or kiss that grin off your face

She was fairly nervous about meeting your parents, wearing casual clothing that didn't reveal too much, and little makeup for a change. You and Sora advised her to just be herself, so that was what she planned to do. 

But when your parents paid neither of you any state of mind, she was immediately annoyed. She didn't want to complain since they were still your parents, but she put a lot of effort into looking good in front of them! The least they can do is look at the two of you

Yoruko felt... disturbed at how unbothered about it you were. Did they always ignore you like this? She couldn't let you lie to yourself like this,

"Y/n, no... it's wrong for them to ignore you like this. You're...amazing. You deserve better parents than them."

You were a bit caught off guard by her praise, and Yoruko tried to hide her blush. 

"W-What!? Hey, I can compliment my S/o!"

You laughed a bit. It was a while before her words really started to sink in, but she didn't leave your side. She was fairly mad when she realized that you were burning yourself out for those people, so she sat you down on the couch and made you a drink. 

Yoruko didn't complain when you snuggled up to her, hiding her red face in your shoulder. 

Emma Magorobi:

She was skeptical of your ability to be perfect at everything you did, but she never told you 

However, as you skillfully did her makeup, acted out a skit with her, and happily commented on her movies with a critic's detail, she couldn't help but be impressed. You definitely had a unique charm to you, and dare she say, you were quite good at making puns

You and Emma became close friends fast, but it was months before the two of you officially got together. By that time, you already had a fan base and became a popular ship with Emma among her fans

She was slightly nervous about meeting your parents, but as the ultimate actress, she hid it well. Emma put on her best casual clothes and spent an hour on her makeup, just for your parents to not bat an eye towards either of you

She was confused, slightly offended on both of your parts, and hurt for your sake. She asked if you were alright, but you brushed it off, saying they were just busy

You were lying to yourself. Not only that, but you were acting. 

It was like her own father all over again, only talking to her to demand money or use her as an ashtray. Emma started to shake a bit. She needed to get both of you away from here.

"Emma? Where are you taking me?"

"Y/n...those people... They don't care. They don't care about... anything."

You asked her what she was talking about. When the two of you were in the privacy of your own home, she slowly became undone. Emma told you of her past, and her biological father,

"They're liars, Y/n...They make you lie to yourself...they make you act...like everything's fine."

Slowly, she showed you her arms, wincing when you grimaced. As tears rolled down both of your cheeks, staining her makeup, the two of you held each other and made a promise,

That no matter what, the two of you would love each other just the way you were

Hibiki Otonokoji:

Perfect? Yeah, right! 

She didn't believe it, and no matter how good you sang, she insisted that she was better

With a smile, you agreed, and complimented her on her voice, making a strawberry blush spread across her face. 

The two of you performed duets together, and as much as she denied it, she felt herself falling for you. As much as she tried to hide her feelings, you could easily tell. 

She'll never admit how happy she was when you accepted her confession, and she bragged about you every chance she got.

Hibiki acted like she didn't mind meeting your parents, as she was a famous singer! What could they not like about her? 

She was terrified, but did everything she could to hide it. You smiled, putting your arm around her and introduced her.

Only to be met with annoyance, as your parents asked you to leave them alone. Hibiki was appalled and offended, 

"Hey! Don't ignore Y/n! She's your daughter!"

She scoffed when you told her that they loved you, but we're just busy. Hibiki was blunt about what she thought of your parents, and how rude they were,

"What a bunch of lowlifes! They don't deserve you, N/n!"

She was stubborn, and denied any excuse you came up with. She wouldn't let up, and it became a full blown argument between the two of you. Out of anger, you remarked that she treated Kanade worse, but still claimed to love her. 

Hibiki told you off, saying your parents never even claimed to love you in the first place. It wasn't until you were crying that she felt terrible, and realized she may have went too far...

"W-Wait..! I-I'm sorry...! I didn't mean..-"

"No...you're right. I was stupid not to see it..."

"Th-That's not true! You didn't do anything wrong, N/n!"

With tears in her own eyes, she tried to comfort you, and offered to leave or give you space. Hibiki wouldn't stop apologizing, and as much as she wanted to beg you to forgive her, you weren't in a state of mind to make a choice like that. Right now, you just needed someone. 

She held you as you cried, letting you sob into her shoulder. Hibiki cried to muffle the sounds of her own cries, but it didn't work, and the two of you just held each other, trying to comfort the other

The realization was difficult, but Hibiki no longer hesitated to tell you how much she loved you. Even if you didn't have your parents' support, she was rooting for you

Kokoro Mitsume:

Perfect? That's not possible, no human being is perfect.

Even when you mastered every ability and skill she could think of in a span of a few months, she didn't believe it. You definitely interested her.

She evaluated your emotions and your movements. Your mind was quick and calculated.. with a need to prove yourself. Kokoro couldn't bring herself away, not even noticing her own feelings towards you.

You had no idea how Kokoro felt about you, given how distant she usually was, so it was a while before the two of you got together, and even then, no one noticed you were dating until you told them. 

She wasn't worried about meeting your parents, as she was skilled at knowing what people wanted her to say. Your mind always showed a positive view of your parents, so she wasn't expecting for them to be so neglectful.

Perhaps that's where your drive to prove yourself had started... how long had they been this way?

You were in complete denial, so Kokoro had to ask you for herself. You didn't know why she looked so concerned. They were just busy, like she usually was!

She felt a stab of an unknown emotion at those words. 

"I...I don't mean to be like them. I'm proud of you, Y/n." Kokoro had a small, comforting smile on her face. You didn't really understand what she said, but you were happy she was showing more emotion! 

Slowly, Kokoro would help you realize the truth. She recognizes the symptoms of burnout easily, so the two of you watch movies on her IPad together. She slowly places her hand on top of yours, a rare display of affection from her. 

"Y/n... you don't have to lie to yourself anymore. I'm here. I'll always make time for you."

You held her hand, laying your head on her shoulder as the tears started to flow. Kokoro didn't judge, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

Kanade Otonokoji:

It disturbed her a bit that just like her, you were perfect. It was her first time meeting someone that even held a match to her raw talent.

She wouldn't drop her facade, but that didn't stop her from slowly falling to you, losing her obsession over her sister.

Someone just like her... so you had to feel the same way as she did, right? 

When you accepted her confession, the two of you were the perfect lovebirds of your class. There was just no way your parents wouldn't like you two!

Your parent's indifference towards you definitely caught her off guard. She could understand if they treated you normally, since she was treated the same as Hibiki despite being better in every way, but they're seriously ignoring you?? Ha...well, perhaps she could make use out of it.

She could tell you were in denial about it before you even said anything, so slowly but surely, she asked you about your relationship with your parents, picking apart your arguments one by one. Kanade had to give your parents some credit, they manipulated you pretty damn well, as tearing down their lies took way longer than she expected, but in less than a month, you were faced with the cold, hard, truth.

"Kanade...you really think...my parents..."

"Y/n, darling... I'm proud of you, and I love you with all of my heart. I wouldn't be saying this if I wasn't concerned."

Her words kept you up at night, making you restless, wanting to do better... and where did that land you? Right back into Kanade's arms. 

She gently ran her fingers through your hair, sweetly pampering you for the day, as you were too burnt out to do anything. Too burnt out to even see the news report about the gruesome death of both of your parents.

As you snuggled up to her, Kanade's smile grew wider, and she softly whispered in your ear,

"Y/n... you really are perfect to me...fufufu~"

Iroha Nijue:

She didn't really believe it at first, but when you painted a picture even better than her, she was completely dumbfounded.

How were you so good at everything!? Were you born like that?

She was jealous at first, but couldn't resist falling for your kindness and genuine desire to help her, her heart beating out of her chest when you guided her brush along the canvas.

When you accepted her shy confession, she was over the moon. Iroha was extremely clingy, and would happily brag about you whenever she could, but nearly fainted at the idea of meeting your parents. 

She thought about creating a painting for them, but nothing she made ever seemed good enough to give them, especially compared to your art skills. The best she could do was take a deep breath and put on her neatest outfit.

Iroha expected the same from your parents, or at least something similar, but neither of them paid her any mind. Not just her, but they acted like you didn't exist!

"Y-Y/n...why are your parents ignoring us!?"

She thought it was something she did, but you kept assuring her that they loved you and were glad to see her, they were just busy. Iroha may be stupid, but she recognized those thoughts.

She spent many nights drawing, beat up in her basement, alone with nothing but those thoughts. Thoughts of being the best just so your parents would finally be proud of you...

You freaked out when you realized your girlfriend was crying, and you immediately took her to your room and held her.

"Hey...Iroha, it's okay..."

"...No...Y/n..." Iroha wiped her eyes, shaking her head, "G-Get away from them...please..."

"Them? You mean my parents?"

Iroha didn't talk about her life before Utsuro very often, but this was an exception. She told you everything, and how she recognized that pattern of behavior and the thoughts that followed. Everything she said...was so vivid to you... She knew exactly how you felt...

After all those years, it finally occurred to you that your parents truly didn't care. And it hurt.

It hurt so bad that you could only sob with your girlfriend, the two of you clinging to each other for dear life. Everything felt like a lie, but there was one thing you knew for certain.

You were never letting Iroha go.

Sora:

She was thoroughly impressed by your ability to be perfect in nearly everything you did

It felt....vaguely familiar...

Still, Sora fell for you pretty quickly, after all, what was there not to like? You were the shining star of the class, helping everyone in need and looking out for her

She was expecting you to reject her, since she didn't even know her own talent, but you accepted with a smile that made her heart pound. As the relationship went on, she was getting more impressed by you, and your ability to accomplish anything you set your mind to!

She was pretty curious about you, and she couldn't be happier as your girlfriend! Sora appreciated how the two of you tried different hobbies, searching for Sora's potential talent, and while the results proved nothing, the two of you only got closer

She was definitely nervous and worried about meeting your parents, given how ordinary she was compared to you, but she still decided to give it her best shot

What she didn't expect was for your own parents to brush you off, and completely ignore the two of you. Sora can't remember anything about her own parents, or even people she grew up with, but something about this struck a cord...

"Hey. HEY!" She tried to yell, but you calmly shushed her, reassuring her that your parents were glad she met you and that you had a girlfriend. 

It felt like you were reassuring yourself the most. That didn't stop her from scolding your parents the moment you were out of sight. She didn't want to push her boundaries, but couldn't you see what they were like!?

Sora kept you away from your parents as much as possible, reminding you how proud she was of you. The moment she noticed that you were burning yourself out, she pulled you in for a hug.

"Y/n... your parents... They aren't good people. You shouldn't work so hard just to impress them. Come with me, we'll take a break."

As you drifted to sleep in her arms, you couldn't stop thinking about what she had said. No matter how many times you told her that your parents really did love you, you'd only be met with a sad look.

Could she have been right...?

You held her tighter. No matter what your parents thought, you knew that you'd always have her.

[intersectionalpraxis]

Let's Talk Palestine's latest updates today (November 24th, 2023):

1st:

A glimmer of hope as the truce started early this afternoon.

The Hostages:

• A total of 39 Palestinian female and child hostages were released today by Israel at Ofer military checkpoint in the occupied West Bank as part of the first phase of the deal.

• The first wave of hostages kept by the Palestinian resistance were also released, including some foreign nationals.

• Some Palestinian hostages needed medical attention due to Israeli medical neglect during captivity, including Nehaya Sawan, a cancer patient.

• Israel banned Palestinians from celebrating 🎉 the liberation of the hostages. They fired tear gas at anticipating crowds at Ofer Checkpoint.

Israeli authorities also threatened to recapture the hostages if any celebrations took place or any Palestinian flags were waved. One father was threatened to not “show any signs of joy” following his daughter’s release.

2nd:

The truce in Gaza:

• Hundreds of displaced Palestinian families returned to their homes in northern Gaza, but Israeli forces opened fire at the civilians to try and prevent them from returning, killing 2 people and injuring 11. Yes, Israeli soldiers killed two civilians during a “truce”.

•”They destroy, and we rebuild.” A Palestinian man says, sitting amidst the rubble of his home destroyed by the Israeli occupation in Gaza.

• 200+ aid trucks entered Gaza today, crucially including fuel for the first time as part of Palestinian conditions for the deal. But this is a drop in the ocean. For context: ~500 trucks used to enter Gaza daily pre-genocide.

• Palestinians describe first sense of relief in 48 days since the start of the Gaza Genocide: “This is the first time that we have not heard Israeli drones [since October 7],” said Tareq Abu Azzoum. “People sense that there is a glimmer of hope that this short-term pause will pave the way for a longer ceasefire.”

3rd:

This truce has forced Israel to break 3 of its “taboos”.

1) to accept that there would be an exchange including a release of Palestinian hostages.

2) accepting a pause.

3) accepting that Israel was wrong about the only way to deal with the Palestinian resistance being to “eradicate” them completely. Israel has been forced to negotiate with them and even honor a deal with them.

Israel has insisted it would use “full military might” in Gaza after the truce and that it wouldn’t stop until it “destroys” the Palestinian resistance.

But being forced to break its taboos and conceding to the terms of the Palestinian resistance is an implicit confession that Israel will fail.

Growing international pressure is the main reason Israel knows it can’t continue forever. Let’s be energised by the glimmers of hope we’re seeing in Gaza and the overjoyed families of the Palestinian hostages. We’re fighting for life, hope & freedom.

We’re not done. We need maximum to ensure the pause is permanent.

You can access this on their broadcast channel for free, which is on their Instagram account:

✊🏻❤️🇵🇸

[sagittariusmars2]

(Top to bottom) what’s Uranus retrograde in Taurus bringing to you

Pile 1

I see that you may feel burdened by something or feeling unlucky but I see you letting go of whatever is making you feel like that, I see that you’re becoming more decisive and you’re not overthinking too much. I see that someone thinks you’re really good with kids or they can see themselves having kids with you, I see you taking more action and accountability. I see you finding the truth out about someone or someone confessing something, I see that you’re changing your routine or working on your hygiene and I see people admiring you or ur style. Signs- Sagittarius, Virgo, cancer. Initials- L, O, T, H

Pile 2

I see that you’re going to become more motivated or more serious about your goals, I see that you’re becoming more straightforward/blunt or more logical. I see that you’re manifesting easier and people are catching karma for messing with you or sending you bad energy, I see you intimidating people with your resting bitch face. I see that someone wants to be more than friends but you’re not taking your love life serious right now, I see that you’re finding out that someone was being honest or they’re not guilty. I see that it will be important to keep your cool with someone who really gets on your nerves, I see that things are going to start picking up for you and you’re becoming more balanced. I see that you’re letting go of any bad influences or habits. Signs- Sagittarius, Scorpio, Capricorn, Virgo. Initials E, Z, W, U

Pile 3

I see that you’re becoming more focused and grounded, I see that you’re facing things that are overwhelming but you just need to endure it and stay patient because things won’t be like that forever. I see that you’re having stronger boundaries with everyone but especially in your love life, I see that you’re being more vocal about what you want. I see that you may have a painful period and things will start changing for the better as far as your goals/career. I see you getting a wig/weave/or extensions or you’re growing out your hair. Signs- Pisces, Taurus, Gemini. Initials L, E, W, U

Pile 4

I see that you’re working on your masculine energy, I see that you’re letting someone go who doesn’t put in enough effort. I see that you’re moving on from something and letting it go completely, there’s someone who sees you as competition and I see you getting more attention. I see you meeting someone who’s generous or who’s very reciprocal, confirmation- black hair, braids/dreadlocks, green eyes. Signs- cancer/Pisces. Initials- T, J, I, R, B, A, Q

Please watch my pick a card reading on YouTube, personal readings always available

[gilligould]

obsessed with every single frame of that episode feeling totally, unapologetically like a victory lap. jimmy entertaining himself the way he did on his slowest days at cc mobile. the pina colada song. kim brushing her teeth. the vastness, emptiness of the right side of her bed, framed so obviously. the fastidious in her writing. alaska and frontier. and the way she hesitates along the ticket booth, the table they occupied on the morning that they were married. an attorney helping her client with his necktie. kim meeting with cheryl to confess the truth about howard’s death, the way that walt met with skyler about hank and gomez. a dying cancer patient’s portfolio being worth $737,000. the color bleeding back into gene’s world by way of his commercials, just as in the pilot. the sheer and almost incalculable intricacy of this web they have woven for us,

[fatedwithmbc]

Also, apparently 6/4 is Cancer Survivors Day-

And in the community survivor means whatever phase of the journey you are in.

Technically, I would have never considered being in active treatment as “surviving”; but many in the cancer community do.

Happy Belated Cancer Survivors Day to me, Brittany and the community! 💗

[oldbutnotyetwise]

Talking to the Dead

     So recently my wife and I were walking our dog Kiwi through an area cemetery.  It is a nice part of this particular walk as it is quiet, peaceful and away from the traffic.  It also allows us to be beside each other so we can talk more easily.  City sidewalks are not conducive to my wife, my wheelchair and our dog Kiwi walking side by side.  This means any conversation must be had over the shoulder competing with the noise of passing traffic.  To be honest, that was hard at the best of times, and these aren’t the best of times.  Combine my mumbling with my dear wife’s denial of any hearing loss, our conversations could involve a lot of smiling and nodding with minimal comprehension.  The comment about my wife’s hearing loss, can we just keep that between us?  She’s a little sensitive about it.

     We were walking through the cemetery, chatting about different things enjoying the sunshine and fresh air when  Robin then turned to me and asked; “Where should I go to talk to you after?”  Meaning after I’m dead, it is one of the many things I love about Robin, we can talk about the hard things and it’s okay.  Deny it all we want, but we both know what’s coming so why not talk about it while we can.  If I do this last part of my life right, hopefully I will leave no unanswered questions and perhaps that will bring peace to those I am leaving behind.

     So where does one go to speak to those who have died?  Do we all do it?  This got me thinking about those times I spoke to those who had died.  I will clarify that these conversations can be held aloud, or as most of mine are, held totally in my head.  Although I may not be getting actual responses, sometimes in my heart I feel a connection to the person I am speaking with, I suspect because they still reside there in my heart.

     My Mom has been gone some 21 years and I speak to her from time to time.  Mostly I have been telling her about life  events and telling her that I am sorry that she is missing them.  I say that I wish she could have seen her granddaughter Elizabeth grow up into the amazing person she is.  I wish that she could have met my sweet Robin, I just know that they would have gotten along so well as they have so many things in common.  I tell her that the brave way she faced her cancer and left this earth inspires me daily as I walk a similar path.  My Dad has been gone ten years next month, I talk to him telling him that at the end of his life when I was making his healthcare decisions that I hope I got it right because it still haunts me.  I apologize to him that I wasn’t more patient with him and for feeling the need to correct his many tales.  My Dad was never one to let facts get in the way of a good story, I should have allowed him that.  I have lost some well loved friends along the way, I speak to them telling them how much I loved them and that I hope I was a good friend to them.  Sometimes I talk to them about how screwed up this world is getting, and I wonder what they would say about it.  I don’t hear their response but I take comfort as it feels like they are sitting there beside me.

     In Tom Hanks’ recent movie, A Man Called Otto, it shows Otto going to the cemetery with his lawn chair and thermos of coffee.  He sits there by his wife’s gravestone talking to Sonya like she is sitting there across the kitchen table, and not six feet under him.  It is poignantly heartwarming and devastatingly sad at the same time. In the movie An Unfinished Life, Robert Redford’s character Einar walks up the hill behind his house to his son’s grave almost daily where he sits on a bench and talks to his son updating him on mundane daily life.  Both characters seem to take comfort in the practice.  It makes me ponder what is more important, to speak or to be heard?

    Now I should confess that I have a love/hate relationship with cemeteries.  One part of me finds them to be of amazing historical significance.  Names of those long past, dates of their births and deaths, connecting them to a spouse or child.  Sometimes some snippet of information giving you a minute detail about a life lived.  There are the tombstones with lambs on them for the death of a loved child.  There are sections with row upon row of crosses for the Veterans who gave their lives In a foreign land at the whim of the politicians at the time.  Mostly cemeteries are peaceful, well maintained green space, with little to no traffic.  They have places to sit, sometimes under a tree, or perhaps just on a patch of grass.  Now I am a story teller who is always in search of a new story and it occurs to me that these places contain thousands of stories, most of them destined to remain untold forever, and I think that is sad.  

     One of my old running routes used to include the road that circled through a cemetery near my workplace, it added the extra distance to stretch my run on my lunch break to five kilometres.  It was a newer cemetery, not like the massive old ones that have thousands of graves, many over one hundred years old.  I would only occasionally see someone visiting a grave there, sometimes it was a fresh grave, more often than not it was an older person who I suspect was visiting their lost partner.  

     I don’t like the idea of being buried after I die.  The idea of burying my body in the ground to slowly rot and decay has no appeal to me. I have already arranged and paid for my cremation.  The whole dust to dust thing just makes sense to me. 

     So where should Robin go to talk with me after?  

     Well the best place would be to walk the trails I cut on our property up in Nipissing, but that is problematic because someone else owns that property now and I doubt he has maintained the trails that I built up over the four years of living there.  I did also hike the trails behind our property that cut through a hunt camp and then led to Crown Land, so that could work, although that’s a pretty long hike.

     She could go to the Lowville Bistro where we had our first date and subsequent wedding exactly one hundred and fifty months later.  Next to our property up north I would think that would be the next most significant spot.

     When I lived in Hamilton Robin and I would go with my dog Buddy to the Arboretum at the Royal Botanical Gardens where we would often hike the trails.  I had a yearly membership there but avoided it during the summer.  We would visit there often in the fall, winter and spring when less people were about.  There are a few places to sit, or lookouts we used to visit that would be a good place to sit and chat with me.

     Realistically I would tell her that any place, inside or outside, where she could sit in the quiet, and perhaps sip on a hot cup of tea would be a good place to talk to me.  I would encourage her to talk to me about what’s going on in her life, just like we did when we laid together in bed, wrapped in each others arms on our lazy mornings.  Those times when life was as perfect as life could be.

     Will I send messages back from the other side, and if so what would those messages look like?  

     I don’t know but I suspect the postal service and wifi won’t be up to par over there.  Some believe messages from the other side look like butterflies who might land on you, rainbows, birds (usually red cardinals), flowers, or finding coins, particularly dimes for some reason.  

     I have, or should say had a friend named Margot who also travelled on the ALS Highway with me for a bit.  She chose to exit this life on her birthday last December, but since then her Facebook page is still being updated. Did I mention she was a bit of a character?  Maybe she got the upgraded WiFi package on the other side.  The day after her death her Facebook page advised she had arrived safely at the Pearly Gates and that it was cocktail hour.  She advised us that she would still be around, “Just keep your eyes open for blue herons and ghosts with red lipstick”.  The Grand River is close to where I live, rest assured that when I see a Blue Heron I will smile and give a nod to Margot who is now flying free.

     Robin will know what my sign to her from the other side is, there is only really one thing it could be.  It will be the full moon, what we have always referred to as “our moon” because it was watching over us as we drove to our homes after our first date.  It was the moon we would point out to each other over our near fourteen years together, the moon we would stare at while wrapped in each others arms looking out our bedroom window on the farm.  It is the moon I will want her to gaze at, smiling as she remembers all the days we shared our moon together.  Most importantly I will be reminding her that there is always light in the darkness, and that is what I need her to always remember.

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light”

Aristotle

[killacharacterbingo]

Prompt Master List

(Updated as prompts are added)

If any prompts don't make sense check this post: A prompt explained

Switching Places

Near-Death Experience

Drowning

Dumb Ways To Die

Blood Loss

Suicide

Your Worst Fear

Sacrifice

Sickness

Lightning

Fire

Hard Choices

Dead On Their Feet

Hero/Villain Swap

Torture

Crossover

Covid

Tomorrow Isn't Promised

Car Accident

Falling

Presumed Dead

Storm-Chasing

Canon Compliant

Never Meet Your Heroes

Stalker

Dictionary Death

Friendly Fire

13th Reasons Why

Musical Death

Survivor's Guilt

Conversation With Death

Collateral Damage

Test Subject

Pulling The Plug

Yandere

Betrayal

One Punch Can Kill

Medical Malpractice

The Blip

Cast It Into The Fire

"I Have The High Ground"

Deactivated

Once Bitten Twice Shy

Bleeding Blue

To Be Or Not To Be

Stabbing

Car Crash

Mugging Gone Wrong

Into The Woods

Death Of The Soul

Dormammu, I’ve Come To Bargain

The Cake Is A Lie

Even Heroes Die

With Great Power 

Sacrificed To The Gods

“Sometimes Death Is Better”

"I Finally Have Something To Leave Behind"

Natural Disaster

Mistaken Identity

Bucketlist 

Ten Years Later

Not So Secret Monologues

180 - The Character Doesn't Die

Final Destination

Raped To Death

Chronic Illness

Outed As A Spy

Bulletproof Vest

Sung To Sleep Forever 

A Soft Epilogue 

Wait For Me In Valhalla 

“I Was Saving My ten” - pain scale

“There’s A Boat Jack” 

Married Life Montage 

“You Have Your Mother’s Eyes” 

Russian Roulette

Guinea Pig

Defenestration

Karma’s A Bitch

Toxic Gas

Murder-Suicide

Famous last words

"Hey, i think we're going to be okay after all!"

"I'll always come back!"

In another's arms

Accident

Revenge

"You can rest now..."

A long time ago

Falls through the Ice

Asthma attack

Shock

Hypothermia

Pushed to the Limit

Commotio Cordis

Death row

Breaking the 4th wall

Wikihow to Die

Time loop

“If I can’t have you…”

Cardiovascular collapse

Allergic reaction

Erased from existence

Dead all along

Dying alone

Gunshot

Blood from the mouth

Patient zero

Old age

Overdose

Fatal Weakness

Assassinated

Infection

Suffocation

One moment stretched into a thousand

Origin story gone wrong

Area 51 raid

Trapped in a tiny space

Poison

Hanahaki / Hanakanjo / Hanauso

Tenshibyou

Kousekibyou

Shinshoubyou

Bouaishoukougun

Hoshinamidabyou

Death by ordinary illness

Hit and run

Starvation

Stroke

War

Cancer

Mercy Killing

Plane crash

Brain death

Fireworks

Death by seduction

Death bed confession

Organ Transplant

Their Legacy Is continued

Bound By Fate

Running out of time

Can’t breathe

Apocalypse

Shot down

Sepsis

Saving Throws – DnD

CPR

Self-harm

Smoke inhalation

Death by coconut

“Help me!”

Climbing accident

Blood-stained tiles

“You weren’t meant to be there”

“I love you”

“No… not like this”

Dug their own grave

Undead

Bees

The AO3 Curse

Deathly kiss

Going through hell

Meeting at the gates

Return from Hiatus

"watch out for the flying blades!"

5+1

Roofie

Left for dead

Strapped to a bomb

Hunger games

Zombification

Order 66

Aneurism

Executed

Lobotomy

Murder on the dance floor

Come to terms with death

“It’s okay”

Keeps dying

Letting go

Coma

Appendicitis

Neuromuscular blockade

Unfriendly pet

Explosion

Aftershock

Takotsubo cardiomyopathy

Faking their own death

Post traumatic amnesia

Schrödinger's paradox

Arbitrary hilarious death

Lack of Oxygen

High altitude

Diving deep

180 - the character becomes the killer

Angel of death

"You're going down with me!”

Never got to say goodbye

Graphic gore

Haunted

Calamity

The end of the world

Immortalized

Uploaded to the server

Reincarnated

Deleted

Sheep in wolves' clothing

Electrocuted

Adrenaline crash

911

Alternate universe ending

Radioactive

Acting on instinct

Collapses

“I miss you…”

Those left behind

Wind phone

Life support

Time Paradox

Temporary character death

[is-on-its-way]

Sea Mystery

Post-Episode: s06e03 Triangle

Part of the Scully is a human Series

She got into her car and stared out the windshield hands on the steering wheel in a daze. She didn’t turned it on, or even put the key into the ignition.  

He loved her.

Her heart dropped in fear and uncertainty. It was one thing to lose control in the heat of the moment and kiss. Or almost kiss. It was another for him to proclaim he’d loved her so seriously and surely like that.

She put her head in her hands and squirmed at what she’d said. Oh brother? How could she have said that?! Not said something, anything, back to him? He’d be crushed. 

But surely he hadn't meant it? He’d been pumped full of dilaudid and pain medicine for the retrosternal chest pain he’d had from the secondary drowning symptoms he’d developed. 

A burning heat rose in her face. She was lying to herself as if she wasn’t a medical doctor. Neither pain medication or dilaudid would lead someone to lying or confessing a mistaken belief that wasnt actually true. 

He loved her. 

She knew she liked being in his presence, looked forward to seeing him every day. He was not unpleasant to look at, and she liked feeling his eyes on her whenever he had the chance. She'd known she loved him for a long while. 

Yes, she’d imagined things before, early in their partnership before shed been abducted. It had been hard not to, his passion for their work caught her up in its flames and he'd been such an odd compliment to who she was. 

But then she was abducted and her life had changed. Shed felt her old self had been a bit idiotic after returning. Naïve perhaps was a better word. She'd been desperate to focus her efforts on finding those who'd taken her, who'd harmed her and all those women. Acting on feelings for anyone fell by the wayside. 

But after the cancer, the way he’d been with her. The way he’d supported her could only engender unbidden feelings of affection. 

When she’d found out about what they’d done to her, she’d felt damaged. She wouldn’t be able to give anyone children. She wouldn’t be able to have children for herself. There was a seismic shift that needed to happen within her as she adjusted her expectations for her life. And giving into daydreams about him felt comically futile. The stolen piece of her body still filled her with anxiety just thinking about it. She'd settled for being his partner. 

And then he’d bared his soul to her when she’d had a crisis of faith in their partnership. And she had just said ‘Oh brother’ when he’d said I love you. She leaned her head on the steering wheel and exhaled “Fuck.” Under her breath.

All of that had been a while ago though. Shed been completely caught off guard in there. After Antarctica, Mulder had been distant and withdrawn, even hostile at times. She'd been confused and hurt but she had tried to understand. Tried to be patient. He’d told her he needed her like she knew she needed him. That was enough. Their work was enough. So in the familiar way she knew, she forced herself to wall those feelings up and tuck them away neatly. Was it any wonder she'd said ‘Oh brother’?

He loved her. 

She picked her head up and rubbed her face. He wouldn’t have said it if he hadn’t been drugged. And thats all that mattered. It was a fluke, a drug induced fluke. She put her key in and turned the ignition on, a small smile playing on her lips.

End.

@today-in-fic

[dailyunsolvedmysteries]

Ed Gein: The Most Deranged Killer of all Time

Gein was born on August 27, 1906, into an unhappy family: his father George was a drunk and usually unemployed and frequently physically abused him and his older brother, Henry. Their mother, Augusta Gein (née Lehrke), was a religious fanatic who also abused Gein and Henry and taught them that all women, herself excluded, were prostitutes and instruments of the devil. Though she despised George, their religious belief prevented them from considering the possibility of divorce. She prompted the family to move to the small town of Plainfield, Wisconsin, in order to keep her sons away from any outside influences. Throughout his upbringing, Gein was kept at the farm, only being allowed to leave to go to school, where he was frequently bullied by his classmates. Augusta also scolded Gein whenever he tried to make friends. Despite this social isolation, he did fairly well at school, especially at reading. Even when the Gein brothers were in their teens, they were kept at the farm, having only each other for company. When George died of a heart attack in 1940, they took a number of odd jobs in the town to support their living. As Henry matured, he came to reject his mother's view of the world and became worried about Gein's close attachment to her, often speaking ill about her in front of him. In 1944, a bushfire came close to the farm and Gein and Henry went over to put it out. After the fire was put out, Henry was found dead with blunt-force trauma, with no signs of him having been burned by the fire. Though some investigators suspected that Gein had killed him, the coroner listed the cause of death as asphyxiation and no charges were pressed.

After that, Gein lived alone with Augusta, who died on December 29, 1945, after a series of strokes. Remaining on the farm and making a living through various odd jobs, Gein boarded up the rooms that had been used by her, including the upstairs, the downstairs parlor and living room. He lived in a small room next to the kitchen and began reading death-cult magazines and adventure stories. Over the following years, Gein would visit cemeteries, dig up freshly-buried middle-aged women, and take them to his farm. Eventually, he began targeting living women in hopes of preserving the skins longer. In the middle of November 1957, local investigators linked him to his second known murder victim, store owner Bernice Worden, through a sales slip. When they searched his property, they found Worden in a shed, shot dead, decapitated, and gutted the same way a hunter would cut open a deer post-mortem. In the house, they also found:

A shoebox containing female genitalia

A belt made of nipples

A vest made out of women's breasts

A human heart in a paper bag

Tops of human skulls used as bowls

A human head

A suit made of human skin

Human skin covering several armchairs

Human organs in the refrigerator

Whole human bones and fragments

Gein was arrested and, during questioning, he confessed to killing Mary Hogan, a tavern operator who had gone missing in December 1954, and adding her body parts to his collection. He had been a suspect when she disappeared, but there was no hard evidence incriminating him and the local police never visited his home. He was charged with the murder of Bernice Worden, the other murder having been left out due to prohibitive costs, and pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity. He was found mentally unfit to stand trial until 1968 when he was tried for the murder and found guilty. He was then sent to another mental institution, where he remained until he died of respiratory and heart failure caused by long-term cancer on July 26, 1984. While he was there, Gein was a model patient and often read, engaged in occupational therapy, took an interest in ham radio, and was never violent or troublesome. On March 20, 1958, Gein's old house was burned to the ground. When he heard about it, he just shrugged and said: "Just as well". 

As Gein claimed to have been in a daze-like state whenever he went grave robbing or killed his victims, the details of his murders are a bit vague, but it has been established that he killed both his victims by shooting them with a .22 rifle, after which their remains were made part of his macabre collection. The women he dug up or killed were middle-aged women who resembled his mother. During his grave-robbing days, he would find potential targets through the obituaries of the newspaper.

After his arrest, Gein was diagnosed as having been a schizophrenic as well as a sexual psychopath. His mental illness stemmed from his love-hate relationship towards women, which later turned into a full-scale psychosis. After his mother's death, Gein had decided that he wanted to become a woman. The bodies he collected were meant to be used as components for a "woman suit". Gein was a necrophiliac as body parts excited him sexually, though he denied ever actually having sex with the bodies on the grounds that they "smelled too bad".

[kaimaciel]

Some angst~

Afonso and Arthur are having an affair. Afonso know it's wrong but he couldn't forget the love he had for his childhood friend. Arthur confesses he's not happy anymore with his marriage with Francis.

One day he tells Afonso they had discovered a cancer and it's pretty serious. Arthur plans to spend the rest of Francis' days with him and after his death he will get with Afonso. Afonso agrees and is patient when Arthur doesn't meet him often like before.

But by some short of miracle, Francis starts to get better. Still, that doesn't worry Afonso. Arthur had said he was unhappy so he will still break up with him. Right?

Arthur calls him and they talk, and he is crushed when Arthur change his mind.

"the time I spent with him, taking care of him, reminded me how much I cared for him. I'm sorry Afonso, I can't leave him."

Afonso grabbed the phone, but his mouth seemed to have stopped working.

He knew. Deep down, he had always known who Arthur truly loved, but he allowed himself to believe it that stupid fantasy. He thought he would be chosen in the end...

He was so stupid.

"Afonso? Are you there?" Arthur asked. "Say something... please... Tell me you understand."

Afonso looks at his floor. He knows what he needs to do.

"Goodbye, Arthur," he says, ending the call.

He allows himself to cry that night and grieve for something he never really had. Something he should have never had.

The next weeks, he blocked Arthur's number and removed him from all his social media. The following month, he moved away.