#connections connections connections human consciousness what are we without connections without other people

[starlingstalk]

Who defines living anywayssssss

[schizoid-hikikomori]

So much of the human experience is defined by how we react to things, even if we don't consciously think about it.

People like to define "humanity" as the emotions/empathy/sympathy/love you feel. Anhedonia and apathy combined with alexithymia is considered inhuman. No ordinary person would know this terminology, but when they see it in people, they consider it a "wrong" or "strange" or "inhuman" way to exist.

People might just assume you're depressed if you're not enjoying anything you're doing, or if you're unresponsive in a social situation. But when it comes to something dramatic, like a societal tragedy or a relationship issue or a death or something similar, if you don't react in the way you're expected to, you're judged.

These judgements could be in good faith, maybe they assume that you're in shock and you don't know how to react. But others will assume you're heartless and don't care at all. It depends on who you're with and how you navigate the situation overall, how your reaction will impact their reactions.

Beyond the surface level, it's also the little things, how you react to birthdays, holidays, marriages, pregnancies, medical events, children, elders, etc. We are a society highly defined by interaction with other people. When you don't interact as expected within your respective culture, you're looked at like something other.

I know what it's like to feel things, at least, I have some sort of memory of enjoying things and feeling strong emotions, but they feel so much like a distant memory far beneath the ocean's surface—muffled, colorless, far away, unreachable. Thinking back on memories don't trigger emotions for me anymore. Despite this, there's still things I don't like talking about, but that I can remember without triggering those traumatic feelings.

I'm sure the change seems drastic to people who've known me since I was a child. Or they didn't notice, which seems to be about right. I became so good at keeping things internal that there's so many things I haven't described even to my mother about my childhood, where she thought I was doing perfectly fine in the messes that were going on.

I started feeling like I was dying at the start of high school and that feeling never left. I feel like I've decayed and I've become something inhuman.

(Photo from the other night.)

Imagery like this was always something I connected with even as a child. Dark hallways, bare tree branches twisting up into the sky like twisted little things, dark churches (which I owe to having grandparents working at a historical church), dead forests, cemeteries, and other gothic imagery.

Now, it portrays the things inside of me that are difficult to verbalize. I do it in my artwork, I do it in my writing.

Even though my novellas are all very different stories, they contain very similar details, relating to an often cynical and unlikable protagonist, themes of bodily identity, neglect of self care, and how we appear to others. As for my art, I don't really like explaining it, especially my art that's unrelated to any of my stories. Writing artist statements for gallery showings and suchlike things has always been dreadful. I'd rather it just speak for itself.

So in the end, I consider myself something inhuman. It is not something I reject or am ashamed of, for I've lost my ability to feel shame. There's no reason to deny the truth.

[towotones]

[MHA Manga Spoilers] (ಥ﹏ಥ)...💚🦎

I'll be having a good day and then remember Spinner's backstory/plotline and how no one takes him seriously & just sees him as a background character for the League.

He was born with a massive societal disadvantage from the get-go with being a mutant/heteromorph. The heteromorphic oppression in MHA definitely parallels racism with how certain heteromorphs are treated better or worse based on their mutation and place of residence.

Shoji brought this up during the riot episodes in season seven, how mutants like Tokoyami and Kota were "city kids" and living in a more urban area so they faced less open oppression and discrimination compared to himself and Spinner, who grew up in suburban locations.

Heteromorphs with certain mutations were also treated differently compared to other heteromorphs - with Spinner having a reptile mutation, a species that humans already don't like - I'd see that as a parallel to how dark-skinned POC tend to be treated worse than light-skinned/mixed POC.

Another parallel is the fact that there's an organization called the "Creature Rejection Clan" (taken down by the LOV), a religious cult-like group that goes out of their way to deny the acceptance of others with physical abnormalities such as heteromorphs/individuals with mutations - going as far to hunt them down and eliminate them. The word "Clan" in there, even spelled with a "C" instead of a "K," is enough to draw that connection.

So, for Spinner, we don't know much about how he grew up. We don't know if he finished middle/high school, but we know that by 20 years old, he was living alone. He was never taught how to drive properly, but he is the only League member who actually KNOWS how to drive. It was later confirmed by Horikoshi that Spinner learned to drive from playing GTA.

During his time living alone, he had become somewhat of a shut-in due to an experience where he was just "walking, living, out in the daylight," and hateful individuals sprayed him with insecticide (poison) just for the way that he looked.

I truly feel like this made him lose all motivation for and any concept of his future. He realized that no matter what, there would always be people out there who would limit his capabilities and oppress him. If he couldn't even go for a walk outside without being attacked for something he couldn't control, then what COULD he do with his life?

This was when he turned to Stain's ideology. He realized that if he couldn't hold his own ambitions or find his own motivation, he would make himself useful by devoting himself to someone elses cause - and Stain's ideology was something he truly believed in - a reformation of the hero society through purging the corrupt heroes who tainted it.

Shortly after Stain's arrest, however, Spinner started to devote himself to Shigaraki instead.

"For years I had nothing. I was...hollow inside."

Spinner was the only person genuinely concerned for him as Shigaraki was undergoing hell.

During Shigaraki's trial with Gigantomachia, Spinner was there - watching and asking questions.

During Shigaraki's fight with ReDestro, Spinner was there, watching Shigaraki's rebirth.

During Shigaraki's battle with Class 1-A on top of Gigantomachia, when he became unconscious, Spinner was the one trying to shake him awake, explaining how the League NEEDED him.

When Spinner started noticing the changes in Shigaraki - All for One taking over his consciousness - Spinner's concern was not only rooted in losing a leader - he was losing a friend, someone he trusted and looked up to - someone he had a common ground with.

Spinner even went as far as to allow All for One to give him an excruciatingly painful quirk, just to be able to aid and protect Shigaraki during the war.

"I never imagined I would amount to anything, but then I figured - if I followed you, I could be somebody. Shigaraki! Do you see me? Are you watching?"

"I did think about it - and all I wanted - was to keep following him. To lift him up, and...stand by him."

Imagine you've lived your entire life at an immediate disadvantage to the extent of losing all concepts of your own future, to where you only find value in yourself if you're helping another person's dream. Then, you find that one person who you share an actual common ground with, an actual shared goal and concept of the future - someone you're willing to sacrifice everything for - and you have to watch that person slowly descend into madness and internal turmoil at the hands of someone truly evil - to where neither of you can prevent it.

So you do everything that you can to still protect this person, allowing your mind and body to fall to destruction - only for them to end up getting killed in the end, with you left as one of the sole survivors.

Your team - that person - most if not all of them are gone, and you're left to ponder that. You're right back where you started with no motivations, no ambitions, but you still want the world to know what you saw in the people you considered to be your found family. So, you write a book to spread that message.

Then it's over - there's nothing left - and you're alone again. With nothing except for survivors guilt.

God I wish people gave Iguchi more credit where credit is due. He's not just some random lizard background character with no significance. He's given an actual, tragic plotline. I mean, fuck, we don't know shit about Compress, and for some reason he's still a fandom favorite over Spinner.

Sighhh...( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)

Iguchi Shuichi the man that you are.

[hexefreya]

I don't think that we appreciate Viktor's plan enough. It is my firm belief that not only did he want to erase Hexcore and himself from existence, but also do some good in the process.

It was established that Hexcore found a way to corrupt the very water, spreading like a disease and infecting the environment. What this means is that by simply killing Viktor Hexcore problem wouldn't be resolved as wild rune remains and will lead to catastrophic consequences in the long run. Only Viktor himself could defeat Hexcore by consciously making the choice to destroy it. And Jayce was the only one who could make this outcome happen - he very well knew about it and the power he had, armed with Viktor's own feelings.

So the question remains: why did Jayce wait till the very last possible moment to show Viktor the power of love? He didn't try to earnestly talk to him even once, and always looked like a person set on a mission throughout. He also seemed to know the outcome of some encounters beforehand.

For instance, when Viktor is entering Hex vault? Jayce isn't even trying to attack Viktor here or be on a defensive, as if confident Viktor would do nothing and just walk by.

And of course this scene, where Jayce kneels by his weapon and closes his eyes, resigned for what is about to happen.

It is my opinion that Jayce had a pretty good understanding of the future events and his role in it, which leads me to believe that the severe escalation of Viktor's evolution, leading to the final fight, was necessary.

I honestly feel like animators did an amazing job showing how incredibly hard it was for Jayce to straight up crush Viktor time and time again, especially when knew about Viktor's feelings and realised himself that those were reciprocated. Can you imagine the pain Jayce must have felt? Killing the person he loved, warping them into something monstrous and even then, at his worst, Viktor was anything but indifferent to Jayce, and him alone.

But if it weren't for Jayce shooting Viktor the first time, literally breaking his heart, Viktor wouldn't lose his faith in humanity (Jayce) and agree to move on with Singed's procedure. It was stated that his power was finite, so I would speculate that Jayce didn't even try to persuade Viktor because he knew that even if he succeeded either Savior Viktor didn't possess enough power to stop Hexcore, or it was straight impossible without Ekko's anomaly. Hexcore would remain in the world any other way, therefore it was necessary to trigger Viktor's evolution to the Machine Herald form.

It also explains why Jace yet again isn't trying to convince Viktor in the Council room encounter afterwards, despite having Viktor coming forward, wanting to talk and bearing news of the hostile intentions of the Noxian. This is interesting, because in my opinion the most significant detail here is Viktor's reluctance to "evolve" Jayce to the point he'd rather kill him. And we know that for the Mage Viktor's plan to work Jayce has to be connected to Hexcore. That's why there is no attempt at talking at this point. Even if Viktor were to concede this very second and destroy Hexcore, it would still leave completely disorganized Piltover and Zaun facing oppressing Noxian forces. It is only after Jayce rejects and "kills" him once again that Viktor lashes out and completes his evolution. And as a result, it gives a perfect common enemy to unite forces against, which finally brings Piltover and Zaun together.

We shouldn't forget how everything started, how Viktor shared Jayce's idealistic dream and passion to bring magic to people and improve lives. Sure, ironically they got caught in a paradoxical anomaly that was dooming the world instead.

"In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good".

Viktor had achieved the end of pursuit and regretted it. Eventually he came to terms with the fact he's the only one who can effectively destroy hexcore, consciously chosing to erase it and himself from existence. And I refuse to think he is anything but pedantic about it, the scientists that he is. He knows what exactly must transpire, and he has the hindsight of different timelines and possibilities to organize the best of possible outcomes, the one that maximizes good this time.

[marsupials-of-mars]

I have a theory. It's a lot of speculation, but an interesting thought:

Euclidea was a hivemind. Or, at least part of it.

This is my main "evidence." The line "One of the few conciousnesses" and referring to the lonely humans as "you" somewhat implies that he himself is or was part of a hivemind consciousness. Like, for example, a fungal spore network.

With what we know of Euclidea (strict adherence to rules, valuing uniformity, fearing non-uniformity), it wouldn't be a surprise.

What constitutes as a "hivemind" here is vague, and if it is the case with Euclidea, it doesn't mean that all of the Euclideans were the same person with the same shared knowledge.

It may be more of an extrasensory connectedness, uniform patterns of thought, a general understanding of what others are experiencing/feeling, physically or mentally. This aligns with some of Bills powers: reading minds, possessing multiple corpses all using his own voice, seeing through many eyes (not necessarily simultaneously, but as "peepholes")

If we follow this idea, it makes the Euclideans seem less like fascists and more like people looking out for their community. So averse to a reality-breaking mutation because it posed a threat to the minds of anyone connected to bill.

Maybe, rather than forcing baby bill to be medicated just to make him normal, his parents were doing what they thought was best not just for their child, but for their people.

(^ I'll admit some of these screenshots are more "thematic" than "evidence")

Maybe it was so easy for Bill to destroy his whole dimension much by accident because all he had to do was stop taking his meds, and let this mutation which nobody else was physiologically able to handle into the minds of those people.

He felt so stifled that he made the conscious decision to endanger people; it wasn't fully an accident, nor was it fully violent in intent. But his choices directly resulted in the massacre.

All this to say, this concept is mostly just more fuel for angst. Bill not only destroyed friends and family, but pieces of himself. His blue flames and red anger aren't just influences or genetics from his parents, because his parents weren't just parents; They were pieces of himself.

He was alone in the universe, but it was worse than that. He was alone, truly alone with his thoughts, without knowing how to even process what "his" thoughts were, or what "alone" really meant.

He blacks out when he recalls the day he tried to fuse everyone into his own individual perspective, because the memories missing are the memories of countless dying people.

He's an idea. Not a soul, not a conciousness, because the soul was shared among his whole race of people.

Maybe this could be why he's so desperate for attention, belonging, friends, and family: He's desperately trying to fill in the gaps of his own consciousness.

And, it could explain why he's so, so very bad at it: Because he can't conceptualize the desires of individuals. They should all want what he wants, think like he does, that's how it's supposed to be when you love someone!

Your family is an extension of yourself, so why wouldn't they want to make you happy? If you're happy, everyone is happy!

He's a handful of selfish thoughts that persisted after the soul they belonged to was destroyed.

Now don't come at me with your conspiracy pants on and tell me how little evidence I have and how unsubstantiated and speculative all this is, I KNOOOWW but I'm having fun and playiiingg!!

[theghostinabadbook]

A detail that I always found curious in bsd is how in fifteen Dazai needs to consciously activate his ability, but in the current time of the story he doesn't. At first I just thought Dazai had trained his own ability to the point where he could keep it active all the time, but Dazai's ability doesn't really seem very important to his work in the mafia, because we only see him using No Longer Human a few times during the light novels that take place during the time he was in the Port Mafia, so I don't believe this was something trained by Dazai, but rather the effect that All Men Are Equal has on him.

We know that Fukuzawa's ability is a suppression ability that influences the abilities of ADA members, allowing the agents themselves to adjust and control their powers, so it makes sense that joining after the ADA, Dazai made No Longer Human always be activated, so he couldn't be affected by abilities attacks even if he was caught by surprise.

The fact that the agents themselves can adjust their abilities with the help of All Men Are Equall made me think about the other ADA members, and how they are affected by Fukuzawa's ability. In Yosano's flashback, it's never said that she can only heal people with fatal wounds, and when Yosano refuses to heal Tachihara's brother (who Mori says is not seriously injured) she says that she doesn't want to heal him, not that she can't, so I believe that after everything Yosano went through in the war and with Mori, she herself chose to only be able to heal people who were almost dying, so she doesn't feel like she was reducing the value of the lives of those she heals, and so that others detectives of the agency understand the value that their lives and wounds have, and don't end up like the soldiers in war.

In Kenji's fight against Tetchou, we have a flashback of a conversation between Kunikida and Atsushi, and Kunikida says that Kenji's ability is driven by his anger, the angrier he gets, the more powerful he will be, however, his hunger can calm him, and I wonder if that might have something to do with Fukuzawa's skill. Kenji is a very calm person, and Kunikida says that this prevents his monstrous strength from coming out, so creating a way to calm him down so that his ability doesn't go out of control may have been Kenji's own choice when he joined the agency.

Kunikida only using his ability in his notebook of ideals may also have been his own choice. We know how connected to his ideals Kunikida is, and he says that all of his future and ideals are written in that notebook, so it makes sense that he would want his ability, an important part of his life, to be in his notebook too. On the other hand, All Men Are Equal could be the reason why Kunikida can only create objects the size of his notebook, but I can't see a specific reason for this choice.

I don't see many ways in which Fukuzawa's ability can affect Tanizaki's Light Snow, other than limiting the area in which he can use his ability. We know that Tanizaki can be very aggressive if provoked, so the fact that his ability can only be used at a short or medium range may be to prevent him from doing more damage than necessary when angered.

I believe all of these assumptions make a lot of sense, based on what we've seen of the influence of Fukuzawa's ability on Atsushi (forbiding him from fully transforming into a tiger, and from losing his mind while using his ability) and Kyouka (allowing her to control Demon Snow without her phone), and I really hope this topic is explored at some point during the manga.

[gatheringbones]

[“Some of us have, consciously or unconsciously, sworn an oath of loyalty to the god of revenge. Hate is rage stuck in the desire to retaliate. People who hate and retaliate have a frightened and tattered sense of self. The desire to retaliate when others offend us is ingrained in us from cave-people times. This is not a sign of moral degeneracy but a natural, automatic survival reaction to threat and abuse. Our work is to retreat from our primitive inclination and advance our natural evolution. We accept the givens of human nature while choosing not to act them all out. We become generously human when we find a way of expressing anger without hurting others. Such nonviolent resistance flows from higher consciousness rather than instinct, and it makes the world a more mindful, safe, and loving place. When we are adult, we can hold and experience apparently contradictory feelings or conditions. For instance, we can be committed to someone and maintain personal boundaries, have a conflict with someone and be working on it, feel anger and be loving. Regarding conditions, we can feel abandoned while we remain committed to showing love. In fact, we can go on loving in any predicament, a touching example of how our psychological work can adhere to a spiritual standard. To see others as good or bad is to split the world into those who evoke love and those who evoke hate. Internally, our love will feel like longing and our hate will hide our fear. When we become comfortable with anger we form an arc of connection that makes us feel that we are whole and that others are too. What propels and sustains us in intimacy is love that is comfortable with other feelings. Then anger is a normal and occasional reaction that never cancels love. Nothing can.”]

david richo, from how to be an adult in relationships: the five keys to mindful loving, 2002

[santoschristos]

THE SENSES WE FORGOT WE HAD… AND THE ONES WE’RE REAWAKENING!

As we journey through life, we often forget that there are higher senses within us that transcend the five physical senses. These are the abilities we once knew and accessed in a state of higher consciousness—before the world became too noisy and distracting. But here’s the truth: these senses are still within us, waiting to be unlocked.

As we move through this Great Awakening, we can begin to reconnect with these gifts.

CLAIRVOYANCE (CLEAR SEEING)

Seeing beyond the physical—energies, auras, and even glimpses of the future.

CLAIRAUDIENCE (CLEAR HEARING) Hearing messages from the spiritual realm, beyond what the physical ears can catch.

CLAIRSENTIENCE (CLEAR FEELING) Sensing energy, emotions, and intentions that aren’t visible, feeling the world deeply.

CLAIRCOGNIZANCE (CLEAR KNOWING) Knowing things without reason, feeling deep insights that transcend logic.

INTUITION Our gut feeling, guiding us even when logic can’t explain it.

TELEPATHY Communicating mentally, bypassing physical words, feeling the thoughts of others.

ENERGETIC PERCEPTION Sensing the vibrations and energies that surround us in everything, from people to places.

TIME PERCEPTION (NON-LINEAR TIME AWARENESS) Understanding that time isn’t linear—it’s interconnected, a web we can tap into.

HIGHER SENSORY AWARENESS Perceiving the world with greater clarity, seeing what others miss.

SOUL MEMORY/AKASHIC RECORD ACCESS Accessing past lives or divine knowledge, tapping into the records of existence.

SYNESTHESIA (PERCEPTION ACROSS SENSES) The blending of senses—hearing colors, feeling sounds, and experiencing life in a multi-dimensional way.

HEART INTELLIGENCE (EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE) Feeling deeply with our heart, using love and emotion as a guide in decision-making.

DREAMS AND ASTRAL PROJECTION Traveling in dreams, stepping outside the physical body to gather wisdom.

MORPHIC RESONANCE Tuning into the collective energy and memories of humanity, connecting to the greater web of life.

THE SIXTH SENSE (EXTRASENSORY PERCEPTION) This is our innate ability to tap into extrasensory experiences, beyond the physical limitations.

These forgotten senses are part of who we are. We all have the potential to tap into them and unlock the higher dimensions of our consciousness.

If you’re feeling that call, you’re not alone. I’m on this journey too, and I can already feel some of these gifts coming alive. Let’s awaken together and reconnect with the deeper parts of ourselves. ~ Awakened Truths

Image: Awaken Your Sixth Sense Mahaboka

[doin-just-fine]

hello! I’m not a system myself, but I’m doing some research for a friend of mine who’s questioning.

I was wondering if you could do a ‘the people wanna know’ about what different kinds of systems there are/how it can present, or something in that vein?

Thanks, love your stuff!

The People Wanna Know: System Types

Disclaimer: We are by no means experts in this at all. We are quite new to the whole being plural thing and there is A LOT to learn when it comes to plurality and systems, especially in types and "microlabels". These microlabels are VERY helpful when someone is trying to sort out if they are plural or not especially if they are an atypical system like us. They can make you feel validated and at home when previously there was fear and confusion. We also want to suggest that you continue your deep dive outside of this post! We hope you give you a launch pad into the complex world of plurality but do not let this be the end of the research! I will be using definitions mostly from Pluralpedia. Systemhood and plurality is very under researched so many of the labels you'll see are created by community members that are then adopted by the greater community. That all being said, as validating as these microlabels can be they can sometimes also have the opposite effect if they don't fit all the way. If you guys land on them being plural, we encourage you to leave the microlabels behind especially if those labels are close to their experiences but not quite accurate in all ways. 🛸I found when identifying specifically as a Median system, it lead to a few denial spirals because that label mostly fit our experience but not all the way or all the time which lead to us question our experiences making it harder to accept and understand ourselves. I personally find just calling myself plural or a system is enough and allows me the freedom to have my own unique experience as a human being with an atypical brain that science is only just starting to research and understand rather than trying to define my experiences filtered through a ill fitting label that doesn't change with me as we grow and learn. But, if you guys find a label that fits like a glove CONGRATS! Use it, love it, where it with pride!

ANYWAY, THE PEOPLE WANNA KNOW!

System Types

DIAGNOSABLE SYSTEMS (labels recognized by the DSM-V) DID OSDD 1 OSDD 1A OSDD 1B OSDD 2 OSDD 3 OSDD 4 UDD

None of those fit? Build Your Own System

I will be giving short definitions of each label. If you want more information each term will take you to a more in depth description.

ORIGINS (why the system formed) Traumagenic: Origins were trauma related. Endogenic: Umbrella term for origins that are related to something other than trauma, though trauma can still be a factor but not always. SUBCATEGORIES: (link to microlabels of the subcategories bellow) Created: Systems that were created intentionally for any reason. Adaptive: Origins that were related to trauma or other adversity. Spontaneous: For systems that seemed to just appear one day seemingly without cause. Unknown: A system who's origins are unknown, unclear, or still being sorted out. Mixed: Multiple origin labels can be applied to these systems.

CONSCIOUSNESS (how communication, conscious connection, and shared existence feels with in a system) Monoconscious: Shared consciousness between members where everyone thinks the same thing together as individuals. Polyconscious: Everyone in a system has their own thoughts and mind that are separate from each other. Hydraconscious: Everyone has their own thoughts and mind but in a collective consciousness. This may feel like everyone talking out loud about different things at the same time. Cephaconscious: When member are in or near the front together they have a shared monoconscious experience but when they are not in the front they have their own separate thoughts and mind. Mutoconscious: When member are in or near the front together they have a shared monoconscious experience but when they are not in the front they have a hydraconscious experience. SYSTEM SEPARATION (how individual are the individuals) Partitionary System: Individuals are very distinct. They do not share memories and often experience time loss. Median Systems: Individuals are less distinct and blend with each other more. These systems often don't experience typical amnesia. Blurian: Systems who share 100% of memories regardless of who's fronting. These system may also not experience Amnesia. (Edit: Here is some more resources for things that blur the line of plurality and systemhood ) Unrelated to the question but maybe to your situation here is a link to help questioning systems

I hope this was helpful let me know if you have any questions or need clarification!!

REMEMBER: You're gonna be ok. You're gonna figure it out. Be kind and gentle with yourself and others. Asks are open. Have a nice day.

[asarigg]

About: Part 6

HEADCANONS: part 1

Aoba wears Koujaku’s clothes constantly because he doesn’t use half of his closet anyway since he usually wears a kimono

Koujaku usually speaks politely without using bad words. But when he gets angry he starts using swear words and even changes his accent.

He smokes weed 👍

Aoba does Ren’s maintenance on his own so he knows enough about technology and robotics to do so. Just like Noiz would be an expert in the software field, Aoba would be pretty handy in the hardware field, he can fix a lot of things and he’d probably take care of plumbing and electrical work around the house, plus he can pick up different parts he needs at work. On the other hand, Koujaku is not good with technology at all, he’s the homely and country type of man, he never had much contact with tech and even though he knows the basics (especially related to his business) he prefers to leave Beni’s maintenance to Aoba. Before that he would probably take Beni to a maintenance shop but that’s what boyfriends are for.

Benishigure usually meet up weekly at Mizuki’s bar, and I think it would be cool if they played card and board games together as well. Benishigure hates playing certain games with their boss because he always gets kinda intense. Sly at some point starts joining to play against him as a challenge, his competitive ass could not ignore it, and they’d end up being the last ones at the table playing for hours until Mizuki had to kick them out.

Koujaku always cuts and dyes Tae’s hair. He compliments her hair and tells Aoba how to do it so he can learn and take care of his granny too. Tae suggests that he’s so good that maybe he could cut Aoba’s hair without it hurting, as a joke, to which of course Aoba refuses and is embarrassed. But deep down we all know Koujaku was dying to do it.

I sometimes think of Beast Koujaku as a somewhat more rational entity than we are shown. Meaning he might gain his consciousness back at times, very slightly, in a way that affects his behavior just enough while still being in his Beast form, periods of time where he would almost turn back into a human, and Sly just has to say some magic words to turn him back. I like seeing Koujaku as a rabid dog in the bad ending, but since we’ve seen that he can actually think and choose what to do to a certain extent, such as choosing not to kill Sly or what to do to him in his captivity, it would be a useful way to explore this ending a bit more, and even taking into account how Sly feels about Koujaku and what he believes is right, I wonder what he would think when he sees Beast Koujaku acting “weird”. I wonder if it would affect him emotionally, because he is sincere when he says he loves him, and maybe seeing Beast Koujaku reject him or something like that means or makes him feel that he’s not loved. Because remember that even if he destroyed his body, what Sly wanted was for Koujaku to stay with him.

Koujaku for some reason seems to have a way with real, living birds. He whistles, trying to imitate their singing, and sometimes he’d do it in front of Aoba, even though he’s a bit embarrassed. It’s something he’d do as a child, playing with the birds that came near him back in the mountain. Maybe he would have a birdhouse hanging on his balcony/window. I mean, look at the cover of the Drama CD.

Koujaku is a village boy. He likes the mountains, has a direct connection with nature through birds, appreciates the little details and the slow pace of rural life. He has a gift for people and his taste for the traditional, despite that rebellious attitude as a young man that would make you think otherwise, is a reflection. I think that sometimes people have an image of him much more as a city boy because he usually goes out with people and is more used to parties in pubs and clubs, which is pretty much the opposite of the image of a village. (old man koujaku propaganda)

He appreciates buying and supporting handcrafted and artisanal products from locals. But he doesn’t take the time or had ever thought of doing it himself, since he always goes out for drinks with his group and friends, and frequently visits Aoba where he stays to eat and sleep. I think that once he dates Aoba, he has more time for himself. Due to his healing process he’s also giving himself that space, and spends a lot of it with Aoba, in peace. That’s why I think he now has a much more domestic life, much more in line with what he personally likes and fulfills him. I think he might even want to try to make handcrafted things, replicating the artisans he likes (probably failing miserably but who knows). At least he really tries hard when it comes to food, especially to give it to Aoba, because if he perceives Aoba’s love in his food, he wants Aoba to perceive his love in his.

Regarding the same home cooking theme, I don’t think he’s particularly good at cooking anyway, especially when he wasn’t used to do it often, always eating Tae’s or Aoba’s food, or something he bought outside. However, now that he has a more stable life, domestic and family-oriented, I think he would dedicate to cooking more often and I imagine him constantly looking at a recipe book so he doesn’t get lost. (rectangular cute red glasses propaganda)

Koujaku should mansplain and drop random historical facts about things he likes, like a recipe they’re cooking, and tell the origin of the dish. He also drops insane lore about himself like “that one time he did coke on a private party his father threw and got pressed to do it so everyone could laugh at the kid” to which Aoba looks at him horrified and Koujaku just brushes it off like it’s nothing.

I think sometimes when Koujaku and Aoba start to make out, if Beni and Ren are still awake, with Beni curled up on top of his head, he would spread his wings covering his eyes and tell him not to look. But Ren, who just wants to give them privacy and tries to leave, now that his eyes are covered he keeps crashing into walls and furniture. At some point in his life I think Beni would never get off Ren’s fur again.

Aoba doesn’t lose feeling in his hair completely, and Koujaku realizes that the tickling sensations he feels when he touches Aoba’s hair are more than just tickling, so from then on he would touch Aoba’s hair to take advantage of it as an “erogenous zone”. Maybe one day Koujaku is braiding Aoba’s hair and doing it carefully takes longer, but it also exposes Aoba to his touch for longer, so the sensations would make him start to feel nervous and fidget in place, which at first Koujaku would find strange and wonder if he is hurting Aoba, but then he realizes what’s actually going on.

He’s the type to indulge in gardening.

When they fuck in the Drama CD Aoba is worried that people in the next room might hear him, and lets be fr they did hear them. When they get out the next morning their room neighbors also come out and they have an uncomfortable exchange of looks. The neighbors are kinda uncomfy because they know it was them and then they see its two men and they exchange looks like “It’s them”, whispering to each other. Koujaku is facing them realizing the situation and apologizes. Of course Aoba is dead embarrassed and low key tries to hide behind Koujaku.

[platoapproved]

Okay so I'm looking back on season 2 and having some Thoughts about Dreamstat.

In 2x01 Louis says "he came by invitation," which is be backed up by how he consciously dismisses Dreamstat in 2x04. But in my opinion, it all gets way messier when - in 2x07, deeply shaken by talking about the trial - Louis hallucinates Lestat in the Dubai penthouse. It's SUCH a jarring moment; Louis' unreliability is at the forefront of the audience's mind since he has just admitted his version of Claudia's turning from 1x04 was inaccurate. Then the audience is shown that Louis is omitting things, particularly continued hallucinations. (We also see him have further non-Lestat hallucinations in 2x08 when he is plotting his revenge).

With all that in mind, I'm inclined to think that he's way less in control of Dreamstat than he insists he is. Louis says otherwise, but this is the Unreliable Narrator Show™.

So. Why I was thinking about this in the first place...

I see lots of people bringing up Dreamstat's reactions to things, mostly in a context of being angry with Louis. And I get it! Dreamstat is mocking and cruel. But I also think it's wrong to blame Louis fully for those things? At least, to blame him in the way people seem to do.

These are not things he is choosing to think, or that he is saying aloud. They exist only within his own head. Dreamstat is all his Louis's worst instinctive reactions and snap judgments, vocalized internally (we just see and hear them as the audience).

His paranoia while being romantically pursued, an understandable response given how things went down with Lestat:

His self-loathing (always comes back to the self-loathing with Louis :c):

His frustration while having an argument with his companion situationship:

These are Louis' thoughts, yes. But they're gut responses, all emotion, without filter or reasoning.

And I just can't wrap my head around thinking less of Louis for having these responses. It's a very honest and unflinching depiction of someone whose response to trauma (both from his relationship with Lestat but also, like, his entire human life) is kneejerk resentment and pettiness that he very VERY rarely vocalizes.

Even as Dreamstat is mocking Armand's romantic overtures, Louis is continuing to have discussions with him, to ask him what he needs to be happier in their relationship. Armand wants him to come around more, he shows up to the disastrous dinner where he fights with Santiago. Armand wants to bring flowers and apologize, Louis hears him out. He is CHOOSING, in spite of the cruel automatic responses of his thoughts, to treat Armand with as much fairness and gentleness as he can.

As a side note, I really read Dreamstat's laugh in the museum scene much differently than others on here. A lot of people seem to see it as Louis mocking Armand's history of sexual abuse. But Dreamstat only scowls through all that (which is, again, not great but it is understandable, given how Lestat deployed his Magnus story to win Louis back after exploding in anger, and the whole setup for Armand talking about his past is him explaining why he is not like Lestat). Dreamstat's only real reaction comes when Armand has moved on from that part of his speech, to discussing the vampiric cycle of violence.

The line he reacts to is Armand saying "Magnus who begat Lestat, Lestat who begat Louis, on and on, and on and on." And Dreamstat... doesn't laugh? I see people describing it as a laugh. He yells 'HAH!' in the angriest, bitterest, disbelieving voice. To me this is not Louis being unimpressed or mocking Armand's trauma, it's him adamantly refusing to be included in the narrative as a part of vampire culture / as a victim. We know Louis does not like people labeling him as a victim or abused. We know he wants to opt out of all Claudia's searching for vampire culture and vampire history. To me this moment is not at all about Armand, it's about Armand implying that Louis is connected with the covens, with a larger narrative of vampirism, including a narrative about makers exploiting and harming their fledglings.

No, Louis isn't perfect, and his handling of Armand is not perfect. But I think people are way too harsh on him for this scene and just in general. He is not his worst thoughts. His actions are much, much, much, much more important. He chooses Armand. I think he chooses to be as careful with Armand as he knows how to be, given the tools at his disposal. Yes, there's a horrible gremlin (ha, see what I did there?) in the bottom of his brain that tosses up vile mean judgy nonsense, but Louis then elects to ignore all that and be as kind as possible.

[gl1tchy-4rt]

PizzaENA Facts! (Text post)

So we got the results from the Poll and you guys wanted to hear about the PizzaENA AU, so you asked and i'll deliver!

(and sorry this time around I could'nt draw, I got sick :()

1# What are ENAs?

In this AU, "ENA" stands for Emulator of Neurological Advances, in essence a re-creation of the human mind inside of a computer, replaying emotions and trying to replicate the way a person should react.

All entities, not only Peppino and the other, Are ENAs one way or another,

This is because they re-create how we act, but the reason why they aren't considered a "successful recreation" is because they act and behave Surrealistcally (a de-constructions of reality) and in a Dadaistic manner (without sense whatsoever) and the had changed so much from their original programming that "The Gods" cannot change them without breaking the functional "spaghetti code" that the entities have per minds.

Peppino on the other hand is not a re-creation, He is an actual human mind inserted into the program.

2# The Body Language of "The Gods"

Have you seen how the ENAs seemingly "dance" for no good reason? (Like in the example pictured below 👇)

Well this is because in other to keep the mind active and healthy inside of the program, "The Gods" "shake the brain awake" with electric impulses, this tingling sensation feels like a need to move for The ENAs and so they move.

3# The Split Mind

ENAs Have two sides/personalities but the why in Peppino's case is quite peculiar...

You see Peppino already had this two personality traits before being inserted in the Program (He was anxious but also quite easy to annoy) and while he hated both traits, the one he hated the most was his anger and tried to repress it, This is why in the world his 'Anxiety' is his Main side while his 'Anger' is the secondary one.

In other words, The other side is the part they dislike or repress of themselves.

And with both sides exaggerated, it feels like talking to two different people at the same time, infact sometimes both sides with talk to eachother.

4# The Cracks

The multiple cracks in The ENAs body I because of the discordance between the two half's, but also because the Program cannot fully comprehend the Human mind, so that's why they have to "reprogram" themselves in order to handle their Memories.

The moment both halfs and program truly connect, The Cracks will be gone and a Perfect ENA shall finally Exist.

5# The Houses and World

This one is quite easy, many of "The Gods" were fans of something called "the Artistic Vanguards" and the Entities needed "dreams" and a world, since their world is created from the Entities's collective consciousness.

(This painting not only influenced the world but the ENAs themselves!)

"The Gods" inserted those works in the program, giving them "dreams" and a world.

This is why their world is so influenced by the vanguards and one might blame this for why the entities are "insane", however the entities were insane before the dreams so thats not to blame, besides "The Gods" have gone too far to go back.

#6 Dying

Both ENAs and Entities are unable to truly die, they can be destroyed and enter a state of "Limbo" but they all eventually respawn.

-----------------------------

So yeah that all I can think to write right now hope you guys enjoyed

And see y'all next time!!!

[eatmangoesnekkid]

Our female bodies must become resources and technologies that deliberately wield, bend, and move energy, transforming chaos into coherence, or a diagnosis into a clean miraculous bill of health —from inside our own bodies.

Currently our bodies are degenerating because they are being used more as dumping grounds, trash receptacles that house complaints, frustrations, unmet dreams, and unexpressed rage and creative repression. Think about the number of women who constantly shop and consume (looking for the next hit, the next pair of shoes to buy) as coping mechanisms for being misaligned and unfulfilled at the deepest levels. We can’t just complain, whine, beg, or talk about how bad it is “out there” or what the government is or isn’t doing, or which male leader is going to start a war next. Our bodies have to become solutions —stand like solutions, walk like solutions, perceive like solutions, create like solutions, rest like solutions, and regenerate like solutions. This is our role and how our bodies were divinely made.

Despite what patriarchal schools have taught us, our bodies are not just passive receivers. They are deliberate energy movers. Birthers. Creators. This realization is revolutionary in social systems that treat the female form as either a damsel that needs to be saved or rescued, pretty decoration, or a container for pain or entertainment. To stand, walk, and rest like a solution is a radical reorientation of your organic power and not metaphor. This inner architecture of your female physiology and its accompanying feminine power is pure magic.

Tend to the War Inside, And Witness How the War “Out There” Naturally Dissolves

All of us have been and will continue to be affected and infected by humanity’s masculine ego and lack of regard for human life in the world, whether we are conscious of it or not. It’s often why we struggle with being soft with ourselves and soft with one another —because that energy of war lives within our tissues and transfers into our self-talk and communication. Therefore, we must channel our energy in healthy ways by consciously bringing more peace into our bodies, into our nervous systems, and into our homes.

Tending to the war inside is a truth that reaches into ancestral trauma, global violence, and generational tension-holding patterns. The way forward is not in fighting war—but in dissolving its frequency in our tissues with softness, peace, love, and presence.

We are not here to endlessly react…to every single barbaric thing going on the the world stage. We are here to wildly create more beauty and opportunities for others to do the same. —

Creative Incubation

I am going to detox some of the dopamine out of my system from being on Tumblr and get back to wildly creating and closing out this new work without posting anything for one to two weeks. Little to no false dopamine hits actually releases stress and gift our bodies with greater amplified creative energy—new ideas, new perspectives, higher libido, and mental clarity. 😘

I hope more people begin to recognize that the endless shopping, scrolling, and searching are often trauma-responses—dopaminergic attempts to self-soothe, a hard truth that many may feel but rarely can articulate or even follow through on. My antidote to the modern lifestyle that degenerates our bodies is returning to self-sourced joy, the kind that rises from oxytocin, touch, connection, love, sharing food, playing creativity, laying Up and deliberately amplifying more beauty in all ways.

I have one more post about chaos before I unplug. One reason I don’t get too dense, weighted, or worked up by the sheer evil happening in the external world is because I have been preparing for this time. For the last years (and I do mean 6 years) I have placed myself in controlled opposition and controlled discomfort situations through numerous breathwork classes, transcendental meditation, yoga nidra, and cold hydrotherapy—oscillating from extreme hot temperatures to freezing cold pools and showers. And for the last 2 years, I have been intentional about how I use social media.

What we don’t realize is that self-care is not just about taking a bath. It’s about managing our intake…. of information and dopamine levels too. In other words, self- care is not always something we do and post about for applause. It’s ultimately how we live—particularly when no one is watching us.

Tend to your body and the bodies of your loved ones. Root down deeper into your creativity or whatever you find most meaningful at this time. Discover ways to increase your oxytocin level which naturally makes your body feel healthier and more delicious like hug someone, meditate, exercise, cuddle, massage yourself , be touched, have your breasts played with, make love, play with animals, trees, babies, young children, a friend, relative or lover, do a beauty ritual, go out on a hot date, hike in nature and witness the quiet beauty of a bee pollinating a yellow flower, take a belly dance class, see the old beauty present in your lover as if it was the first time observing it, write love stories without attachment, share a meal with your neighbor, or work to become masterful at something like photography, yoga, or tai chi. Be a little more patient with people around you—assume that most people are having a hard time. Feel what you need to feel but do not allow any part of this world to stress you out over and over again —which will mess up your digestive system, shorten your breath, inflame your tissues, and shrink your female libido. 🙏🏿

In my first book “You Look Like Something Blooming” I talked about how joyous I felt about my activism being very different from traditional forms of activism. What I was naming was a shift from performative activism (complaints, reactions, debates, posting new stories on social media, picking sides, helplessness, shaming and blaming, etc.) to embodied activism as transformation that includes the body, instead of omitting it then later wondering why we are unwell. For example, when I said, “our bodies have to become solutions,” it’s not metaphor. It’s a verifiable blueprint to living in ways that we create the new reality through how we breathe, create, touch, walk, move, eat, nourish, nurture, make love, make food, rest, etc. That’s deeply subversive and disruptive in cultures that profit off us being upset, dysregulated and distracted, you see.

——

I believe in bridging the mystical and the mundane annd practical, therefore I offer to you one of my real-life tools as part of my own ecosystem of beauty ritual x devotion:

If you have naturally curly or tightly-curled 4c hair like me, get you a brush blow dryer that stretches your hair a bit. I have the “Amika Double Agent 2-in-1 blow dryer brush” and it works like a charm and makes corn rolling my hair a lot easier. In the photo, I used a concoction of flaxseeds, fenugreek seeds, and fresh rosemary steeped into hot water and strained it into a glass jar —this is my detangling gel which made the process much easier.

Or try a coffee honey skin scrub mask as your beauty ritual (detoxifies and releases tension from the skin (softening wrinkles) and makes it emanate brighter and softer with less blemishes —use organic coffee grounds and mix with organic honey. If using on face, be very gentle in your touch and do not scrub —only scrub on your bod my with a loofah rag or glove.

One part coffee to 1/4 part honey.  You can also make a vaginal mask with the same scrub. Just rub it on your vulva lips and inner thigh, especially at the hairline areas (detoxifies and hydrates your outer tissues ….brings more natural beauty and light to your vulva mound and vaginal hair. To really level up, let sit for 10 minutes then take a nice relaxing 1 hour warm bath in epsom salt—which will plump and firm up your vaginal lips like a gym workout. You can end your beauty ritual with an ice bath, which will further tighten your vulva tissues and even some of your vaginal canal. Simply empty a bag of ice on your vulva and inner thigh area and breathe slow and deep with a relaxed face and body —very important. Not recommended to do during ovulation and first few days of your moon cycle. 

Our activism must not always point “out there.” Most times, it has to be something we live out loud. We must not just philosophize or talk theory. We must live philosophy in art, music, and witness the beauty of our gorgeous and graceful menstrual cycle that connects us deeply into the elements leak from our bodies.  Whenever I step away from social media for creative incubation and just to rest my intake, I quietly know that my resonance will echo in the nervous systems of those who read my work and witness my practice. The embodied feminine is waking up and I truly sense how my writing voice (and how I live) is part of that quickening. And yours is too in your own unique way.

Courageously generating more beauty in the modern world is a political, spiritual, and cultural act. When you treat your coils or body with reverence, you’re also honoring the ancestral codes in your DNA and adding more beauty into the world. Creativity around beauty becomes an act of devotion. And devotion becomes resistance to programming that tells women to disown or distract from their bodies or perceive caring for ourselves (our actual cells) to be frivolous and selfish.

In a world filled with ugly, romanticize your life. Make the spaces around you an even more beautiful and appealing to your senses. Cheers to beauty rituals! Mm! Many blessings 🌹🌹🌹—India Ame’ye

[stumptation]

Amputation: The Most Natural Fascination, and the Most Worthy Reason for Admiration

You’re walking through a park, the sun warm on your face, when you notice a woman on a bench. She’s a double above-knee (DAK) amputee, her stumps and scars visible where her shorts end, her skin catching the light as she laughs with a friend. Your eyes linger, drawn to the raw beauty of her resilience. A flicker of self-consciousness hits—Am I staring too long? But what if that pull isn’t something to shy away from? What if it’s the spark of something human, something real?

I know this moment from a deeply personal place. Born completely limbless, with no arms or legs extending from my shoulders or hips, I’ve felt the weight of curious glances my whole life. I’ve seen kids’ eyes widen in wonder, adults steal quick looks, trying not to seem rude. And I’ve been on the other side, too, marveling at others’ stumps and scars, captivated by the stories their bodies tell. That instinct to look? It’s not judgment or pity—it’s fascination, as natural as a heartbeat. It’s being struck by someone living life so fiercely, their scars and differences a testament to their strength.

What if we leaned into that curiosity instead of turning away? What if a glance became a conversation? “What’s your story?” you might ask, if the moment feels right. If she shares, you could hear something unforgettable—maybe a drunk driver changed her life in a split second, leaving her with stumps and scars but not breaking her spirit. That kind of story doesn’t just pass through you; it lands, makes you think about resilience, about chance, about what it means to keep showing up. Suddenly, she’s not just “the amputee on the bench”—she’s part of your world, a neighbor, a friend.

These stories, raw and real as they are, weave us together. When you hear about the crash, the surgeries, the choice to thrive despite it all, you’re not just hearing pain—you’re hearing triumph. Stumps and scars aren’t flaws; they’re proof of a life that refused to quit. Whether it’s a DAK amputee, someone missing hands and feet, or someone like me, born completely limbless, our presence challenges what beauty means. In many cultures, people with such differences are seen as special, even lucky—symbols of a strength that transcends the ordinary. We celebrate their grit, and in doing so, we create space for something deeper: admiration that can bloom into attraction.

That attraction isn’t strange—it’s human. When we cheer for those who navigate life with less than the “standard” set of limbs, we’re saying their differences matter. We put them on a pedestal, not out of pity, but awe. So it’s only natural that some of us feel drawn to that strength, that uniqueness. The confident grace of a DAK amputee, the quiet power of someone born without limbs—it can stir your heart. It’s not about fetishizing; it’s about seeing the human spirit in its rawest, most vibrant form and wanting to be close to it, whether romantically, emotionally, or physically.

This fascination is good for us. It stretches our idea of beauty, pushes us to embrace every kind of humanity. When we admire stumps and scars, we’re celebrating difference, not just accepting it. And when we share those stories—about the drunk driver, the recovery, the life rebuilt—we build bridges. We make space for everyone to belong. For someone like me, who uses tools like AI to share these words, those connections are everything. They remind me I’m part of this community, too, my limbless body as much a part of the tapestry as anyone’s.

The woman on the bench could be anyone, and that’s the point. She might be fat, her curves as much a part of her radiance as her scars, defying stereotypes of what strength looks like. She could be short, her compact frame amplifying her presence, her stumps a bold declaration of a life that takes up space. She might be paralyzed and an amputee, her wheelchair a chariot of resilience, her scars a map of battles won. Or she could be blind and an amputee, her world painted through sound and touch, her stumps a story told in ways most can’t imagine. And then there’s someone like me, completely limbless, my body a unique canvas of survival, my spirit no less vibrant for it. Every one of these bodies—fat, short, paralyzed, blind, limbless—is beautiful in its own way. Each scar, each stump, each difference is a reason to marvel, a testament to lives lived fiercely and fully.

So, the next time you catch yourself staring at someone’s stumps and scars, don’t flinch or look away. Smile. Maybe ask a question, if it feels right. Let their story unfold. Those marks of survival—or a body like mine, shaped differently from birth—might just be the start of a connection that makes us all better. Because in admiring what’s unique, we’re building a world where every body is seen, every scar is honored, and every heart is open to the endless beauty of resilience.

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

Some people aggressively tried to convince me that it's 100% canon that the Hexcore has its own malicious will and fully controls Viktor, and, well... usually I'm only glad when there is a wide variety of theories – I love exploring them and can peacefully ignore those I don't agree with – but I really can't stand this kind of arguing. Leave others some freedom to have their own interpretations, please...

So, why persuading me into adopting this one is a waste of time and effort: I don't like that it deprives him of responsibility and meaningfulness of personally taking it. The mage admitted that he had chosen a wrong way and attempted to set it right, and this is such an admirable rare strength. It's an important part of his character: staying true to his "in the pursuit of great, we failed to do good" and desires to lessen humanity's suffering, his intentions were always for the best, so he is able to consciously renounce evil when he sees that the consequences betray his ethics. This requires immence willpower and intelligence. His own. He isn't simply cleaning up some unruly magical orb's mess after being its possessed puppet, he acts like a complex personality.

(Just imagine, for example, how boring BG3 would be if instead of its interesting vivid characters all the communication/flirting/teamwork was in fact happening only between their illithid tadpoles...)

Even the original Machine Herald, despite being devoted to the Glorious Evolution for a longer time and certainly not going to abandon it, is also capable of genuine self-introspection and honest abidance by what he thinks is right. (My precious ironclad cinnamon roll ❤️)

And then there is also fans' claim that the Arcane and magic itself is malevolent and corrupting, which is baffling me because there are so many magic users who aren't corrupted or ill-intentioned – Mel (if you need an example from the series first), yordles, other hextech wielders, Lux, Ryze, Nami, Karma and other Ionians, Zilean, Lillia, Targonians, Ezreal... It's just a tool that can be used for good or evil. Sure, Heimerdinger recalls the latter first, likely the Rune Wars, but it's still the same – a weapon in human hands, misused by human will, showing a human culprit at the center of his flashback for a reason. If you want a corrupting kind of magic, there are the Harrowing and the Darkins, but neither has any connection to hextech; or the Void, but it's not even magic in that sense, it's a breach of (un)reality in Shurima and Freljord, far from Piltover and Zaun and likewise never mentioned in the series.

As for the argument that the Hexcore recoiled from Viktor in S1 like a living creature, even our own world's nature has a lot of things that can react to a potential threat without necessarily having sentience. Some of them can even learn and distinguish:

What I could somewhat accept is the version that the Hexcore was given life by his blood. If its alleged independent mind is a direct creation and part of Viktor himself, then at least it's more logical than appearing from nowhere, has actual on-screen basis and doesn't take away his responsibility so entirely.

Anyway, even after their fusion, there are so many scenes clearly showing that it's still this same Viktor who speaks, watches and makes decisions:

Or his monologue at the end of S2's sixth episode. The character himself explains his reasons, that's why I don't get those saying that there were none so the eldritch influence can be the only possible explanation.

Speaking of which, I do get his logic in some of my own personal ways. The heavy burden of empathy... The constant frustration... The feeling that only some near-impossible universal change would be able to make things better because life is so fundamentally injust and so tragically vulnerable to evil/violence/illness/death/pain... But this would require a whole another post, I'm afraid, and would be highly subjective.

What I see as actual villainizing influence is his own despair. First he had already been about to take his life, then he was horribly killed within an arm's reach of achieving a better future for Zaun, then his hopeful commune was destroyed, a close friend/lover shot him, etc... Anyone in his place would run out of patience to act rationally and nicely, so I understand and forgive him wholeheartedly.

[luli-lads]

Breakdown and reactions to Caleb's myth

I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but sometimes I get so excited about something that I'm unable to pay attention to the thing itself. For example, the first time I read Sylus' dragon myth, I processed about 30% of the info 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ So, I'm writing this both for me, and for any other people that might have a bit of trouble following the story + my live reactions to the myth.

Plot points are structured like this.

My commentary is structured like this.

Enjoy!

— Chapter 1

We get some context: We're in a decaying Philos. Immortality has been achieved. The ruling classes are trying to keep their status by force, against any rebellions, with the use of combat androids. The most successful android in this aspect is A-01 (us).

A young Caleb (X-02) goes rogue and tries to get A-01 out of the facility where they keep them, Othan Laboratory. A-01 didn't know Caleb before this.

YOUNG CALEB PICTURE!??!?!? DOES THIS MEAN— We'll get to see the others when they were young 👀

A-01 is a weapon created by the government. That checks out with the current timeline somewhat. They're not full robots, but part human and part android (exoskeletons). Their consciousness can be controlled (that's worrying). A-01 is feared because of her power so they experiment with her a lot.

Why is Caleb so kind to us? A dangerous stranger? He's so cute 😭

They go outside. It's summer. Caleb gives A-01 a Silverglow fruit seed from a planet he visited on a mission.

A-01 has (a bit of) limited speech it seems?? Or maybe she's so robotic atp that she just says what's necessary. (Autism win)

And thus we got adopted by an extrovert. A classic. Can relate 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ Friends!!!! <3

They erase A-01's memories each time she returns to the lab, but only those they're aware of.

OOOOUGHHH WE GAVE CALEB HIS NAME TOO??? WHAT IF I CRY 😭😭😭😭

He vows to not let us forget things...

PINKY PROMISE TO BE TOGETHER EVERY DAY. CALEB WE JUST MET IM GOING TO SQUISH YOU

They're found by the lab's bot (Othanbot) and captured. Obvs they try to fight back, but to no avail.

We're only seeing bots and AI... I wonder who/where are the people...

Caleb's power is 'Construo' and A-01's power is 'Destructio'. Pretty self explanatory.

THIS BITCH

So there's this AI, Cognitive Domain System (CDS from now on), that determines to extract Caleb's energy to repair A-01, even though he got more damaged in the fight. Also, it's going to erase A-01's memories, by using the keywords "X-02" and "friend". But some things aren't erased, like the name "Caleb", the feeling of summer, and the pinky promise.

A-01 continues her killing missions, over and over, without seeing him, but she remembers his name.

— Chapter 2

At an unclear point of time in the past, they do an experiment to see what happens when Caleb's and A-01's powers mix. This is 10 years after Chapter 1.

In the present, there's an explosion (lol) caused by the rebels and Caleb comes to get A-01 out of here.

OOOOO the detail of our heartbeat getting quicker in the ecg hehehe....

A-01 doesn't recognize Caleb by appearance but she manages to match the name in her head with him.

The rebels are attacking Central District (where the elite people are) and are looking for A-01 since she killed so many of them.

You know... Doesn't this remind anyone else of... The story in Fractal Library Q&A............. Which would mean....... A Zayne and Caleb connection by proxy.........

Caleb proposes they seize the destruction the explosion caused and escape but she's hesitant since she 'only knows his name'. Oof.

And thus starts the cycle of Caleb helping us remember things... Poor boy 🥺 Need to pat his head

Caleb and A-01 escape, with Caleb piloting an aircraft, but the government doesn't want to give up their strongest weapon, so they pursue.

It's literally everyone against A-01. Both the government and the rebellion. That's where Caleb's protectiveness comes from, and it's fully understandable.

They fight together against the pursuers and A-01 develops a blind trust towards Caleb.

oh my god........ quickly someone turn the 'our mechanical parts lock together' into smut QUICKLY NOW (yes i know it's just their hands and he's just repairing her but shhhhhh)

Caleb is aware that he was the one fixing A-01 whenever they returned from battle... And he also knows that his own energy is being depleted in the process. He's dying. And yet he still repairs her.

By giving her his energy, her power is also getting stronger. The 'Destructio' energy. The first thing the power would do if it became too strong would be destroying A-01.

— Chapter 3

At an unclear point of time in the past, they do an experiment to see what happens when A-01 becomes consciously aware of Caleb.

In the present, the two of them are hiding in a cave.

First time A-01 sees Caleb without the visor. It's worth noting, Caleb doesn't have the glowy lines on his cheeks.

They both have to eat so we can conclude that their human half is relatively normal. Also it's the first time A-01 is eating real food.

A-01 pulls out the fruit seed he gave her all those years ago, so she kept it in secret even if she wasn't aware what it was or where it came from. Sweet.

I'm so sorry. She is so autistic-coded in this. No, actually, I'm not sorry. She is literally me.

A-01's and Caleb's room were separated by a single wall. From Caleb's side, it was a mirror. From A-01, it was a window.

THAT'S SO DIABOLICAL THO OMG???

Since A-01 was kept in a pod and couldn't move, she had to just watch and hear him talk to himself. I'm guessing this is part of the experiment shown at the beginning of the chapter?

HE JUST. HE WAS ALONE SO HE KEPT TALKING TO THE AIR AS IF HE WAS SPEAKING TO HER???? MY HEART?????? AND SHE COULD HEAR BUT NOT ANSWER??????? I NEED TO KILL EVERY PERSON IN THE LAB IMMEDIATELY

Every night, he said "Good night, my one and only..." head in hands............ head in absolute hands......

A-01 names herself. She hadn't given herself a name until now because she had no one that would call her by it.

— Chapter 4

At an unclear point of time in the past, they do an experiment to see what would happen to the planet if A-01's and Caleb's powers merged.

Back in the lab, Caleb had a reoccurring dream of a planet across the Deepspace Tunnel (the main!timeline Earth, probably). But get this, the energy of that planet is familiar to him? Could that be referring to the Xavier lore that she can fuel the planet?

Also... Zayne-Dawnbreaker parallels, anyone...?

In the present, the two are still trying to escape. They land in an abandoned city (Lingshir) to look for parts to fix the aircraft.

Finally actual people!!!!!!!

A-01 and Caleb don't consider themselves robots.

They meet a black merchant named Helen and her grandson, Kolo. They buy parts from her.

What is the little boy's accent??? Is it an accent??? It sounds like there's a hint of an accent and I can't place it.

Some direct Philos lore: Philosians originated at 'the edges of Deepspace' (they mean Earth). Also paper is rare in Philos, apparently.

Yes????? Amusement park time???? Yes actually???? Some fluff in between all this angst 🅱️LEASE

Oh, wait, I don't think I've mentioned it before, but one of the things Caleb kept repeating he wanted to do was to take A-01 to the best amusement park on Philos.

"I don't know what happiness is." Oh... A-01... baby... :(

— Chapter 5

At an unclear point of time in the past, they do an experiment to improve A-01's abilities of absorbing and releasing energy.

Back in the lab, Caleb suffered from chest pains due to, basically, heartbreak, because he knew her Destructio energy was painful to her, on top of the experiments. He wanted to suffer the pain instead.

In the present, they land where the amusement park should be.

NOOOOOOOO. NO REST HUH. COULDN'T EVEN GIVE US THAT HUH

It's in ruins and unusable.

Instead, Caleb uses his Evol to make them fly across the landscape. A-01 learns what happiness is and smiles for the first time ever. And that makes him happy.

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

HE SAID PIPSQUEAK ! HE USED THE NICKNAME !

A-01 begins feeling... Wrong. Like her memories are about to be erased (oh no).

There are crystals embedded in their exoskeletons... Protocores?

Surveillance drones begin attacking them. She can't fight in her state.

He tells her to leave, and that she must remember to not go back to the aircraft because it might be compromised, and instead travel to Lingshir.

She doesn't wanna leave. They connect their palms again and he forces an exchange of energies to save her. Now Caleb has Destructio and A-01 has Construo.

He uses the new powers to fight off the drones and lead them away, and she passes out.

— Chapter 6

A-01 wakes up, memories intact. She's alone.

There's a literal(?) connection between the two, which A-01 tries to use to find him, but it's growing weaker.

She reaches Lingshir and senses him.

KINDLED TIME OOO IM NOT READY WAIT KSVDJSVSKSBD HOLD LET ME— BREATHE

Here he does have the glowy lines on his cheeks. I thought they might have appeared due to plot reasons but nah.

So prety... Sofd.. Babby boy...

SCAWWY. ABORT. RUN.

Ah... Hm... Yknow what, yes. I'm so glad we attempted to escape. Oooough 🫠

PANCAKED. FLATTENED. DID THEY SEE THE MEME IM CRYING 😭

cuuuteeee 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Caleb is heavily damaged and needs to be repaired. They find safe refuge in Lingshir, an old house that Helen lets them stay in.

A-01 connects her palm to Caleb's and uses her new power to heal him, but the amount of energy required to keep up with the Destructio power is far more than what Construo provides, and she can only heal him partially.

This kinky bitch... 😭 "How are you going to punish me? I'll accept whatever it is you plan to do." can you CHILL

A-01 STOP MATCHING HIS FREAK 💀 /j please don't

AND EVERYONE CLAPPED AT THE YANDERE X YANDERE OOOOOOOOOOO time to start building that cage, main!timeline MC

........you can't do that. how did you do that with your voice. how did you make it sound so broken. how did we go from kinkatron 3000 to sad wet puppyboy. hello.

Woah... The way he reacts to each of the answers you can give him is wildly different...

They make a pinky promise to travel to a distant planet where they can be alone, just the two of them.

— Chapter 7

At an unclear point of time in the past, they do an experiment to implant modules in A-01 and Caleb so that when they've been in close contact for a long time, it'll activate an interference.

That doesn't sound good.

In the present, A-01 and Caleb start preparing for their 'trip' across space to find a home.

Wanderers do exist. They hunt them to use their protocores as fuel. So maybe the crystals in their exoskeletons aren't protocores, since she didn't name them as such.

Philos' moon is fake, an artificial satellite. Built because they missed Earth's moon.

It seems like it's at this point that A-01 is developing romantic feelings for Caleb. Up until now it was pure kinship.

Caleb's exoskeleton starts to signal that something is wrong, but A-01 doesn't notice it.

Oh. Short chapter.

— Chapter 8

At an unclear point of time in the past, they continue the experiment from the previous chapter. The module's interference will stop both of their consciousnesses. They're also still researching the effects of their combined powers.

In the present, A-01 is asleep and Caleb remembers that what's happening with his exoskeleton is the same thing that happened to her in the amusement park, when she felt that she was about to lose her memories. Not only the powers were transferred, those issues too.

Caleb guesses correctly that what activates it is their continued interaction.

He decides to ignore it because he wants to go with her no matter what.

I'm also thinking... Did Caleb (and so, A-01 now) not have a module? The text made it seem like they both have one in them but... Maybe they were only interested in controlling A-01 since she was the more powerful one.

The rebellion reaches Lingshir.

Helen and Kolo are going to leave in an evacuation ship. They offer A-01 and Caleb to join, but they decline since they already have an aircraft ready and a destination in mind (Earth).

Still, Helen gives them a warp drive and a way to contact the evacuation ship in case they need a rescue shuttle.

Caleb goes to finish making some repairs in the aircraft while A-01 gathers supplies.

When A-01 arrives, Caleb is in 'weapon' mode. Robotic, following orders... He manages to snap back.

Caleb tells her about the interference modules.

Okay, yeah, I was correct, it does only really affect the person with the Destructio power. I'm guessing the other module is just to measure how much they've interacted.

Caleb has destroyed the port in his palm so A-01 can't take back the power and sacrifice herself to save him.

....... orz

Their aircraft is being tailed and attacked.

Caleb intends to exit the aircraft and attack them, so by the time he loses himself, she won't be near and he won't attack her by accident.

— Chapter 9

Caleb has always loved her.

He does go out to fight. And fights. He manages to eliminate a lot of the enemies, but in the end he can't take much more. Injured, he physically falls.

A-01 exits the ship and flies after him with her powered exoskeleton.

Kindled...... I'm excited and also sad for what's coming...

IT JUST ENDS THERE??? NO MORE LORE OR ANYTHING???? OKAY. WELL FUCK ME I GUESS. HMPH.

Like if you also want to explode /j

WELL. That's that. I wonder what the 4 star audios will have in store, if they have anything else lore-wise.

This has been said before but the supernova that Caleb and MC watched in the main!timeline is theorized to be them exploding. So. Yknow. Angst upon angst.

Thank you for reading. That was a lot. I need to go pet Caleb in Destiny Cafe some more now.

Byee <3