#could i orphan that post like an ao3 fic please

[noknowshame]

I'm not touching my baby jesus post with a ten foot pole but I do wish that I could explain to the thousands of people in the notes saying "op doesn't understand the concept of death" that there is a relevant difference between "all babies who are born will eventually die" and "a baby born with the specific fated purpose to die". it's different!!!

[sundrop-writes]

Careful - Chapter One

(Dad)Spencer Reid x (Mom)Fem!Reader

Chapter One: Over Yet

We can go farther, beyond the end.

Summary:

You and Spencer broke up more than four years ago. Since then, he has tried his best to forget about you. He has pushed all of his feelings down - locked them away into a little box that he never touches.

That is, until he sees your name on a list of potential victims being stalked and killed by a man who kills single mothers. (And he quickly realizes that your son could be his.)

Dad!Spencer Reid x Mom!Fem!Reader. Exes to Lovers. Angst.

Word Count: 5,900

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link | Series Masterlist

Please keep in mind - I am not doing a taglist for this series, so please do not ask to be tagged in future parts. I do not do taglists. If you want to be notified when future parts of this fic are posted, you can follow this blog and turn on notifications here - I don't make personal posts on this blog, it is just pure posts of my fanfiction. Or you can subcribe on AO3 to get email notifications when this series is posted. You can also view the posting schedule on the series materlist and check @tenpintsof-sundrop for any information about possible changes to that schedule.

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: general warnings for a Criminal Minds episode - mentions of murder/killing, somewhat graphic descriptions of killing, somewhat graphic descriptions of dead bodies, the underlying misogyny that comes with a man killing women, mentions of children being orphaned due to their mothers being killed (though there is no mentions of other living family members taking care of those children - you can imaging that they still have nice families to take care of them if you want, I didn’t fill in that detail), mentions of children being in proximity of a serial killer; exes to lovers - the reader and Spencer broke up and the reason why will be revealed later; mentions of pregnancy/mentions of the reader having a child; mentions of sex that resulted in a child/pregnancy (there is no detailed sex scenes/detailed smut in this chapter, but there will be in other chapters); mentions of JJ x Will; the reader’s looks are described as vaguely as possible; passing mention of incest (in the context of a historical figure); all statements that Spencer makes toward the end of this chapter were heavily researched and are factual; I think that’s about it?

A/N: The reader and Spencer originally dated around Season 1/Season 2 - I state at some point during the fic that they dated for 3 years before breaking up, so they started dating when he was very early Season 1 baby Spence (or even before Season 1) and they broke up around Season 2. So technically this fic takes place around Season 6 - but because I didn't want to distract from the plot, I didn't mention any of the stuff going on with Emily or any of those major canon plot points, and I am using pictures of later versions of Spencer just because that's who I was picturing in my head while writing this. But that's how the math works out. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the fic!! This chapter is more of an introduction before we really get into the meat of things, but I still hope that you guys like it.

...

The team had been in Portland for three days.

No leads, a confusing, inconsistent profile - huge pieces missing that would likely give them the real answers. 

A patient killer with an extended timeline who likely wouldn’t kill again for months - leaving them chasing their tails, looking for answers. 

“Okay, so, let’s take a step back.” Hotch sighed. “What do we know so far?” 

He leaned against a nearby table, looking at everyone with the hope of reassessing the case from a different angle. The hope of talking it out to get some answers. 

Another woman’s body had been found just before they arrived, and that would mean that the UnSub would be out hunting again soon. This was both good and bad. 

Good, because the UnSub clearly had to spend a lot of time stalking his victims - he knew a lot of details of their lives, and he had spent a lot of time developing an intimate fantasy of being a part of their family in his mind. So he wouldn’t be killing again the next day. No woman was in immediate danger. It gave the team more time to find viable suspects. 

Bad because they had no physical evidence, no good leads. And thus far, the profile was leading them nowhere. It felt incomplete. 

They could find no real connections between the victims - their gyms, their banks, their childcare, their grocery stores. Somehow, the victims didn’t seem to have any crossover in their lives. There was no real way to say how the UnSub had met them. And someone like this - he would have interacted with them at least once in order to become obsessed and stalk them to this degree. 

“Five women dead within the last three years.” Prentiss announced, starting to round up the facts that the team knew for certain. “All of them mothers, all with children under the age of five. All within the same ten square mile radius of Oregon, around Portland’s suburban neighborhoods.” 

She slumped back into her chair with a tired huff, and then continued. 

“The UnSub breaks into their homes through a backdoor or a back window, and somehow goes undetected in such an upscale neighborhood.” She sighed. “He kills the mothers, but he leaves their children alive. And then he calls 9-1-1 to report the death as a case of child neglect.” 

“So he was likely neglected by his own mother in his childhood.” Morgan easily theorized. 

“All of the victims upper-middle class, single mothers to one child with good jobs. All of them are of the same physical type.” Rossi added on. “They’re the same race, they have the hair color, they’re the same body type - all in their late twenties to early thirties. So the UnSub definitely has a type. He’s most definitely recreating a fantasy of some kind - perhaps taking out revenge on his own mother, but protecting himself. Which is why he never hurts the children.” 

“Yeah, but the children are different.” Morgan replied. “Sometimes boys, sometimes girls. Some of them are biracial - he doesn’t look for a specific type in the father. He doesn’t necessarily need to see himself in the children.” 

Then, as another thought occurred to him, Morgan continued on: 

“Plus, the children’s ages vary from barely a year old all the way up to five - if he was looking to seek revenge on his mother, looking to protect a younger version of himself, then he would have locked in on a critical event that he needs to protect himself from. The age of the children would be more consistent, at least, because he would be looking to protect himself as he hits the age that he was most traumatized by a specific event.” 

“That’s good.” Hotch nodded. “Then we know that it’s more about the mothers. He hates women at his core. Protecting the children is just a byproduct of his obsession over these women.” 

“But we still have no clue how these women could be connected or how they met the UnSub.” Morgan replied, jaw stiff with frustration. 

“Focus on what we do know.” Hotch reminded him. 

“All of the women were killed via stabbing. They all had over a dozen stab wounds to their stomachs and genital areas.” Rossi replied. “So, he is an aggressive sexual sadist.” 

“But if he hates women so much, why spend so much time in the house?” Morgan argued gently. “Every single one of these scenes has evidence that the UnSub spent hours - possibly up to a day in the house before he killed them. He cooked dinner, set the table, and made the women eat it before he killed them. Including a second place setting for a child. Some of the kids even said that ‘the scary man’ tucked them into bed and read them a story.” 

He held up one of the crime scene photos that depicted the scene of the family’s place settings - a haunting scene of plates not cleaned up from dinner, with a flower vase sitting in the middle of the table with a few white flowers wilting inside of it. 

“He’s right - why bother to show them the kindness of a last meal if he shows so much aggression toward them during the killing?” Prentiss added on. 

“It’s a routine.” Hotch said, the thought suddenly occurring to him. “It’s likely that he chooses single mothers because he gets to play the role of the father. With the real father figure absent from the picture, it makes it easier for him to impose himself into that role. At least for a temporary amount of time.” 

“It is strange.” Reid added on, clearly swimming in thought. “It’s almost like he’s courting them? Sending them gifts, showing what a good father he could be. Each of the women were sent white carnations sometime in the days before they were killed, and after the killing, he lays the flowers around their head in a halo-like fashion. It is said that carnations represent motherhood, and the white shade could depict an angelic innocence that he’s projecting onto these women.” 

“So he views these women as angelic figures, yet he kills them so brutally?” Prentiss scoffed. “It just doesn’t add up.” 

“Maybe he views the killing itself as a type of purification.” Reid theorized. “It’s not uncommon for killers to emotionally fetishize dead bodies and consider them more ‘pure’ than their living counterparts.” 

Prentiss visibly cringed at this. 

“Wait.” JJ said, looking at one of the crime scene photos with a sharp line pulling her brows together. 

Everyone looked to her, waiting for her to finish this thought. 

“I don’t think that the mothers were the only ones sent gifts.” 

She held up the photo, showing a picture of a colorful child’s play mat in the living room. Everyone stared at the photo in confusion, and JJ sighed and began to explain. 

“Look at this toy truck in the middle.” She said, pointing at something that almost blended into the background of the photo. The true focus was a large handprint - one that belonged to the killer, but he had worn gloves. “It’s wooden, it’s hand-carved, it’s old fashioned. All the other toys are plastic, brightly coloured. Remember what the UnSub said in the second 9-1-1 call?” 

“‘She pretends to have her son’s best interests at heart, but she was going to let him get cancer from sucking on those cheap plastic toys.’” Reid said, repeating it word-for-word, using his impeccable memory. 

“Exactly.” JJ confirmed with a nod. “Clearly the UnSub believes that he would be a good father because he can gift his child something hand-made instead of something mass produced.” 

“Alright, get the crime scene techs back over there to pick up the truck, maybe he wasn’t wearing gloves when he made it and there is some slim chance he left a print on it.” Hotch said, and JJ left to call the crime scene unit. 

This left the team sitting in silence for a few more moments until Reid spoke up again. 

“What about preschools?” He said, suddenly coming out of a wave of thought to announce this to the room. 

“What?” Prentiss prompted, wondering what on earth he was talking about. 

“Preschools.” Spencer confirmed, looking across the table at her. 

“We checked already, none of the victims’ children went to the same preschool.” Morgan reminded him. “Two of the kids didn’t even go to preschool.” 

“Yeah, but preschools typically have large waitlists.” Spencer argued. 

Naturally, all eyes in the room fell on him, waiting for him to explain. 

“In the first 9-1-1 call, the UnSub said that the victim ‘shipped her son off to be cared for by strangers half the time’.” He explained, once again perfectly reciting this from memory. “What if the UnSub resents preschools and the schooling system for taking these children away from their mothers, so he’s choosing his victims off of a preschool waitlist? What if that’s where his obsession stems from because that’s where his rage stems from?” 

Reid jumped up, pointing to the map he had been using to make a geographical profile. 

“All of the victims live within the same school district.” He added on. “So they would be applying to the same group of preschools.” 

“I’ll call Garcia.” Morgan announced. 

A few minutes later, Morgan connected Garcia’s call to the comm on the center of the conference table they were working from. 

“Hey, pumpkin pies.” She greeted them sweetly, as usual. “So it turns out, the preschool that Tommy Laird, and Emily Ashton, the third and the fourth victim had in common, does have a waitlist. But none of the other victims’ names were on it.” 

“Come on, babygirl. I know you’re holding out on me.” Morgan said, giving a small smirk. 

“Oh, my Adonis, if I don’t have your trembling anticipation, I have nothing.” Garcia giggled. “The school’s waitlist, and their applications, are handled by a firm called Gordon & Stanheight. And it turns out, they handle the applications and waitlisting for five other preschools in the area.” 

“Which gives the UnSub a perfect way to pick his victims.” Morgan sighed. “The first interaction that gets him hooked might not even be in person-” 

“Unless he’s picking them out of the line-up on paper and then waiting to meet them in person?” Prentiss replied. “With this type of guy, the smallest smile, a nod in his direction - that could be consent in his mind to play father to a household that’s missing one.” 

“You said they handle forms for five different schools? That just widened the victim pool.” Rossi groaned. 

“And the suspect pool.” Garcia added on. “The firm has thirty male employees. And I did a bit more digging - the preschool applications have ten ‘optional’ questions on the bottom that are definitely not marked as such. Questions directed at the parent filling out the form, rather than vital information about the child. Things such as: ‘what’s your favorite food?’, ‘when is your birthday?’, ‘what’s your favorite color?’, ‘do you plan on having more children?’ - typical survey schlock,” 

“That would explain why the UnSub served Lisa Laird a birthday cake.” Reid sighed. “He knew it was her birthday two days before he killed her.”

“I have a feeling I’m not gonna like where this is going.” Emily sighed. 

“Oh, sugar. You probably won’t.” Penelope easily agreed. “The ‘optional’ part of the forms is sold off to other companies as survey data. And those forms are seen and handled by over a thousand male employees of Gordon & Stanheight’s larger ‘data processing’ sector.” 

“Well the UnSub has to be local to Portland. So narrow down the suspect list based on his last known address and go from there.” Hotch said. “Also, it would be someone who has a criminal record. Someone committing this level of violence wouldn’t be a first time offender.” 

“Gotcha.” Penelope said. “Penny G, out.” 

… 

The team ended up raiding Gordon & Stanheight’s Portland based office. 

After some pointless conversation, some threats of lawsuits, and some even larger threats of being detained for impeding an FBI investigation, the team was able to get their hands on the preschool applications. Over two-dozen boxes worth, that they would have to sort through. 

So this left JJ, Reid, Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, and Prentiss knee deep in paper, looking for anyone who fit the UnSub’s victimology - praying that they would be able to pick out the next victim and get to her before the UnSub did. 

“We’re never gonna get through these fast enough, are we?” Prentiss sighed, continuing to sift through the papers. 

“We just have to go as fast as we can, and hope the UnSub sticks to his schedule.” Morgan replied. “He has to spend time stalking them, learning their routine. Even if he has chosen his victim by now, he won’t break into the house until he’s fully confident that he won’t be disrupted.” 

“And the stalking helps build up the fantasy.” Reid added on. “He romanticizes them from afar, sends them gifts. It adds to his delusions of grandeur and forbidden love. The idea that he’s swooping in to become the perfect father figure for these ‘broken’ families.” 

“So we’re hanging all our hopes on the idea that this psychopath needs time to ‘fall in love’ with his next victim before he kills her?” Prentiss groaned. 

“Sadly, yes.” Rossi confirmed. 

“It helps that most of these applications are from two-parent households.” JJ pointed out. “We can throw out anything with a second applicant on the form, because he’s only targeting single mothers.” 

The rest of the conversation easily became quiet in Spencer’s ears when he saw it. 

It should have been just another page among the sea of paper in his hands, but when he saw those words on the page - that name - it was like a punch to the gut. It pushed all the air out of him in seconds, it made him dizzy, made him struggle to breathe. Like a reel flashing through his mind, it brought back a flood of memories he thought he had locked away forever. 

It was you. 

What the hell were you doing applying for preschools? 

Spencer rushed to tear this paper away from the others in order to read it more carefully. 

Surely enough, the application was filled out in your handwriting. Something that had barely changed over the years. And it was all right there, laid out in front of his eyes, clear as day - 

You had a son. 

A son named Sebastian, who was three years old. Spencer checked the date on the form, eagerly looking for a birth date for your son. His birthday had just recently passed, actually, so he was four years old now. 

And his birth date was… fuck. 

He had been born eight and a half months, almost nine months exactly after the two of you had broken up. Your son had been born eight and a half months after the day you had left and Spencer had never seen you again. 

One thousand, seven hundred and two days. 

Four years, eight months, and two days. 

It wasn’t difficult math. 

Your son was the perfect age to be Spencer’s child. Was this Spencer’s child? 

His hands began to shake at the very thought of it.  

Is that why you had disappeared from his life with such haste? Because you knew that you were pregnant and you didn’t want Spencer to be a part of your child’s life? 

Had you been keeping this from him intentionally? 

He hadn’t thought about you in four long years, he had tried so hard not to. He had spent so long forcing himself not to miss you, and now he was struck with the realization that he might have a child out there with the woman he considered to be his regrettable lost love. A child he didn’t know - a child who he had missed four whole years with. 

What the fuck was going on? 

There were no pictures included with the application, and suddenly, Spencer found himself dying to see the boy. He wanted to know if there was any physical resemblance to himself, or if he was jumping to conclusions. 

Maybe you had cheated on him. Maybe that was why you had left town and never contacted him again. Maybe the kid wasn’t his at all, maybe- 

“Reid.” JJ called out gently, getting his attention. 

Spencer suddenly realized that he was hyperventilating, staring down at the application with your name on it in his hand, wrinkling the paper as he squeezed it more frantically. 

“Did you find something?” 

… 

All in all, the team found four different women who fit the victim pattern in the files - you being one of them. 

So the team split up, ready to knock on each of the womens’ doors, preparing to warn them that if they received any gifts or saw any suspicious men lingering around them in the next few days, they should call. They had to hope that the UnSub wouldn’t move on from this victim pool if he saw the FBI around. But he was overly confident, he had contacted police before. 

It could definitely work. 

When Hotch found out that Spencer had known you, he said that Spencer should be the one to knock on your door. That you might find it comforting to hear that you and your child could possibly be in danger if it were coming from ‘an old friend’. Spencer stuttered over himself and didn’t have the words to explain that you weren’t just a good friend to him, but a romantic flame. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the team by telling everyone that the break-up had been messy, and sudden, and Spencer still wasn’t even completely sure what had caused it. He didn’t want to rip open his old wounds in front of everyone. 

So he simply shut his mouth and got in the car with JJ, and they made their way toward your house. 

…

“So…” JJ’s voice broke through the undulating silence of the car ride - filled by nothing but the sound of the car’s motor running and gears grinding inside Spencer’s mind as he tried to figure all of this out. “I do have to ask the obvious question,” 

“What is that?” Spencer probed, slightly glad to be relieved of his own thoughts. 

He wasn’t so glad when JJ pried those thoughts out of his mind and spilled them to the open air. 

“Is the kid yours?” She wondered aloud. “I mean - when did you and Y/N break up?” 

JJ had known you as Spencer’s girlfriend. 

Come to think of it, she was probably the only person on the current field team who had some kind of a relationship with you back when you and Spencer dated. 

Initially, it had been by accident. JJ had driven him home one night after a particularly long and sleepless case, and you had been coming to his apartment to drop off some books he had asked for (shortly after he had given you a key). When JJ saw you, her natural curiosity got the better of her - even more so when you stuck out your hand and introduced yourself as ‘Spencer’s girlfriend’ without hesitation. 

The two of you got to talking, and JJ invited you to ‘girls night’. You met Elle and Penelope shortly after. You had become pretty good friends with the three of them before the break-up. 

But Spencer had always felt secretive…. well, protective of you. He didn’t want Morgan teasing him about you, or him wanting to have ‘guy talk’ about things that occurred in the bedroom. Not when it might mean talking about intimate moments with you. Spencer had only introduced you to Gideon over coffee about three weeks before the break-up, and that felt like a lifetime ago. 

Back then, having you, Elle, and Gideon leave his life all in a matter of a few months felt like hell on earth. It felt like being grabbed by his ankles and shaken for all he was worth. He really wasn’t sure that he was ready to see you again. 

It had been four years. 

JJ was someone he could lean on right now. 

“Four years ago.” He told her, completely honest. 

“And how old is the kid?” JJ asked. 

“Four - four years old.” Spencer stuttered out, realizing that now as he was speaking about this very real possibility, he might be breathing more life into it. 

“Oh my god.” JJ sighed. “Well… could it-? I mean…? Did the two of you?” 

It took Spencer a moment to clue into what JJ was talking about. He gave her a sideways glance and she took her eyes off the road for a moment, raising her brows and giving him a pointed look. 

“Please tell me you know what does and what doesn’t make a baby,” JJ groaned. 

“Oh!” Spencer huffed, a small wave of embarrassment flooding him. “Yes! God, yes. I know.” 

There was a moment of awkward silence, and then Spencer felt the need to clarify his answer. 

“We - I mean. We…” He trailed off for a moment, clearing his throat. “We didn’t always use… protection. We were together for three years, at the time, it was on the table.” 

“Kids were on the table for you back then?” JJ asked, clearly shocked by this. “I could not imagine little twenty-four year old Spence with a baby.” 

“Well… it’s something I’ve always wanted.” He mumbled quietly in reply. 

It was true. At the time, Spencer easily imagined himself getting married to you, having multiple kids with you. These days, seeing JJ with Henry and Will brought him the occasional underlying pang of jealousy - but since breaking up with you, there hadn’t been anyone else in Spencer’s life that he could have imagined having kids with. He thought that he was going to be alone and childless for the rest of his life. That the dream was long dead for him. 

“Hey - then, maybe this is a blessing in disguise?” JJ posed. “If we hadn’t been looking through those forms because of this UnSub, you never would have found Y/N again. You wouldn’t even know this baby exists.” 

There was another thing that JJ was dying to ask - something she held back because she felt like it was a touch too personal. (Even if ‘too personal’ was basically how the BAU team lived - knee deep in each other’s business, all the time). 

She wanted to know why you had a baby, a baby that Spencer had very likely fathered, and you hadn’t contacted him about it. Spencer seemed entirely clueless about the child’s existence before now, and JJ knew that because of what his own father had been like, he wouldn’t just blow off a kid that was his if he knew that one was out there in the world. 

So why hadn’t you told Spencer about the baby? 

“What if the kid isn’t yours?” JJ wondered aloud. 

Maybe that would unburden him. She knew that either way, Spencer would fight to protect you from the UnSub. But if the kid wasn’t his - he would walk away again, and he wouldn’t have to be hung up on the heartbreak of dealing with his ex just to parent a child together. 

“Honestly… I think I’ll be more heartbroken if I find out that he’s not even mine.” Spencer told her, his voice quiet and already lulling with that disappointment. 

That was not something JJ had considered. She frowned as she saw the sadness paint across Spencer’s face. 

“One thing at a time, alright?” 

…

When they pulled into your driveway, Spencer’s mind immediately began churning. 

It was a nice house. It was a beautiful, quiet neighborhood. The front yard was clean and trimmed and there was a silver SUV in the driveway with a ‘baby on board’ sticker in the rear window. There was a rocking chair on the porch, but he didn’t see many children’s toys out front on the lawn. He guessed that was a good thing. Letting children play in the front where they could run into the street and potentially get hit by a car was too dangerous. He was glad to already see signs that you were a good mother. 

Spencer felt like he was opening up a book halfway, desperately wanting to be filled in on the previous chapters while having missed so much. Still wanting to read ahead and see more. 

He had already missed so much of your son’s life. He had missed you. That was something forming the biggest knot in his gut. He had truly missed you. The times he had allowed himself to think of you over these past few years - he had missed you so dearly. 

And now the two of you likely had a child together. 

Craning his neck to get a better look, desperately trying to take in more information, Spencer’s eyes were wide and hungry as JJ put the car in park by the curb in front of your house. As Spencer reached for the passenger side door handle, JJ’s phone rang. 

“I have to take this.” She sighed. “You go ahead.” 

She gave Spencer a distinct look that said ‘I know you need a minute alone with Y/N’, and he nodded, stepping out of the vehicle while she greeted whoever was on the other line. He smoothed down his tie - for once in his whole life, he was actually worried about how he looked. Only because he knew that he was going to see you. Perhaps he had only ever felt like this before going on his first date with you. 

He had such a strange lashing of emotions going through him as he approached the door. Fear, anxiety, anticipation. Longing. 

He truly had tried so hard to lock away his feelings for you when you had left. He had tried to move on. He had considered, briefly, in passing, dating other women. There had been times when someone else caught his eye, and he considered asking her out on a date. Morgan had offered to ‘set him up’. Penelope had offered too, telling him that he deserved to ‘get back out there’. 

Whenever she asked about you, his heart freshly cracked open. 

At one point, she had advised him to write a long, Shakespearian letter, pouring out his heart to you in an effort to get you back - one which she would mail. (Because of course, she could get your new address in a heartbeat.) But he didn’t want to experience the heartbreak all over again if you ignored him. He didn’t want to sit, waiting by the mailbox every single day like a lost dog, waiting for you to write him back in return. 

You had disappeared from his life for a reason. Just like everyone else had. For a long time, Spencer convinced himself that he was simply meant to end up alone. 

Perhaps if he had known about your son - a child that could very well be his - then he might have felt differently about getting Penelope to contact you. 

But now he was standing at your front door, his fist shaking as he raised his hand to knock. 

He let out a sharp breath and steadied himself, giving three swift, firm knocks against the door and then trying to wait patiently. His heart thumped inside of his throat, and it felt like forever. 

“Sorry!” Your voice called out from behind the door, muffled. “Sorry, I almost didn’t hear you. I was-” 

You cut off your own words as you opened the door - the moment you caught Spencer’s eye and recognized it was him, pure shock fell across your features, and you froze on the spot. 

You were just as stunning as ever. You had barely aged at all - your hair was different than the last time he had seen you, of course. And you were dressed casually - wearing a simple hooded sweatshirt with a drawstring and a pair of jeans with some fuzzy slipper boots on. But pale blue looked so good on you.

So much like the pale blue dress you had worn on your first date with him. 

You were breath-taking. 

“Y/N.” He greeted you, his throat dry already. 

You didn’t say anything, simply continuing to stare him down with wide-eyed shock. 

Seeing you again, Spencer couldn’t help but to think back to that first date. 

The first night that he knew he was in love with you. 

… 

He had taken you to see the Virginia Symphony Orchestra. 

It was Spencer’s idea of a good time - and it ended up being one of the most beautiful, most romantic, most unique first dates that you had ever been on. 

It was difficult not to fall for him with the beautiful music in the air and his glossy eyes, so sickeningly thick with affection, staring you down all night. 

Afterwards, the two of you stopped to get ice cream at a small shop that was a short walk down from the orchestra. And now you were both enjoying your ice cream as you walked along in the cool night air - enjoying the peace and quiet and the gentle breeze in the darkness. 

It was a perfect night. 

Spencer could think of no better way to spend it than with you. The yellow bulbs of the street lights practically cast a glow onto your skin, the mulberry lipstick now worn off your lips as you brought the pink spoon to your mouth and licked up your sweet treat. 

His stomach was churning with nerves. Joyous nerves. 

And as per usual, when he was nervous - he rambled. 

“You know, Bach actually married his cousin.” He said, spouting off the first thing that came to mind. 

You told him that Bach was one of your favorite composers - it’s why he had thought to bring you to the orchestra on a date in the first place. 

“I did not know that.” You giggled. “So what? Was it like a ‘third cousin twice removed’ type situation?” 

Spencer found himself grinning at the fact that you actually engaged him in the conversation, rather than staring at him with an odd look for bringing up such a strange topic. 

“Not quite.” He replied. “They had the same surname before marriage.” 

“Oh, ew.” You chuckled again, giving a shudder at the thought of this. 

Spencer knew it was an odd topic to discuss on a date, and if he rambled on too much, it might freak you out - but he couldn’t stop himself. His mouth ran away with him, and he continued. 

“He married Maria Barbara Bach, and they had seven children together.” He told you. “His sons, Wilhelm Friedemann and Carl Philipp Emanuel became composers and musicians much like their father, which was actually carrying on a legacy started by Bach’s father himself - who was a seventh generation musician. He was the one who taught Bach the organ from a very young age.” 

“Why don’t people play the organ anymore?” You wondered aloud. “Except in churches, I guess. The organ rocks.” 

Spencer’s brain began rocketing off at the fact that you had asked him a question. A question he could answer. 

“The organ has actually long been associated with divinity.” He replied. “The instrument rose in popularity alongside Catholicism throughout the eighteenth century, and in a sense, that was part of what made Bach a sort of ‘rockstar’ of his time. The religious references in his work, and his mastery of the organ - all of it made him incredibly popular at the time because it caused him to be favored by the church and by royal figures associated with the church.” 

Spencer gleamed a large smile, heavily enjoying that he could share these facts with you. He thought for certain that any moment, you would change the subject or imply that he should stop talking. But instead, you engaged the conversation more. 

“Religious references?” You questioned, wondering what he meant by this. 

“Yes!” Spencer grinned, suddenly very excited by the explanation behind this. “Even in his secular music, Bach would often incorporate the acronym ‘INJ’, a Latin abbreviation that means ‘In Nomine Jesu’, or ‘in the name of Jesus’. It was something he put on all of his manuscripts.” 

You grinned back. You found it fascinating that being around Spencer for such short periods of time caused you to learn so many things. It easily made you want to be around him more. 

“Interesting.” You replied. 

“And his talent on the organ was seen as something that made him ‘divine’ at the time. Divine enough to be worthy of performing for royalty.” Spencer added on. “In 1708, Bach got a position as the court organist in Weimer for Duke Wilhelm. And later when he requested early release from this position, desiring to go work for Prince Leopold of Koethen, the Duke actually had him arrested and put in jail for several weeks in 1716.” 

Spencer laughed at this mental image - the composer being put in jail. 

“Ooh, harsh.” You sighed. “But I guess Dukes have too much power.” 

Spencer let out another bright laugh at this. 

“And see, the interesting thing is, Bach later became the conductor of the court orchestra, in which Prince Leopold played.” 

“So he got his wish,” You replied with a smile. 

“And see-” 

Spencer set off on another rant again, and you couldn’t help yourself. You put your spoon into the cup of ice cream and then you used your now free hand to reach out and grab Spencer by his tie - you pulled him toward you before he could get anymore words out, and he let out a shocked, choked-off sound when you pressed your mouth into his. 

He sighed gently against your lips, and unconsciously dropped his own melting chocolate cone on the ground by his feet as his limp hands drifted toward your waist. He was dizzy, and now every single fact he had ever known about any composer had vanished from his head. In that moment, standing under a random street lamp on a random sidewalk somewhere - all he knew was the soft, pillowy feeling of your lips and the cool night breeze against his skin. 

It was perfect. You were perfect. 

You found his intelligence and the enthusiasm with which he spoke to be so utterly irresistible. You had been on so many dates with men before where they had acted like talking about their interests was a chore. Where they had made it seem like the whole thing was simply a routine, waiting for the end of the night so they could get into your pants. And for them, that’s what it probably was. 

But Spencer was nothing like that. 

He spoke about everything with such intense passion - and you couldn’t resist the urge to try and suck that very passion off his lips. 

When you were forced to pull back slightly, your lungs crying out for oxygen, Spencer let out a gentle moan and began puffing out sweet little pants across your chin as he tried to catch his breath. You kept a hold of his tie, wanting to keep him close, and he stayed there, gently pressing his forehead against yours. 

“That was… wow.” He sighed. 

“I didn’t think I would ever find you at a loss for words, Doctor Reid.” You replied with a giggle. 

“Well, I - you - wow.” 

It was all he could muster, causing you both to break down into laughter. 

Back then - everything had been perfect. 

He had no clue where it all went so wrong.

...

Continue reading: Chapter Two - Liar

[hanukkahbingo]

Panfandom Hanukkah Bingo

WHAT: A fanworks bingo celebrating Jewish (and Jew-ish) characters across any and all fandoms. Write fanfiction and/or create graphics (moodboards, edits, vids, whatever you like) to fill prompts on this overall bingo card. During the 8 nights of Hanukkah, submit your fills to the AO3 collection and/or post them on Tumblr to be reblogged and added to the Bingo Masterpost.

WHO: Any and all characters who are Jewish or Jew-ish. Canonically Jewish characters (like the Baudelaire orphans), characters who are* Jewish but it’s not explicitly stated (like Bucky Barnes), characters who you like to headcanon as Jews (like Tina Belcher), characters who are Space Jew-ish or otherwise Scifi Jew-ish (like Leia Organa)… all are welcome. Interfaith, multicultural, patrilineal, and convert stories are all welcome! MESSIANIC HEADCANONS AND/OR MESSIANIC STORIES ARE NOT WELCOME.

WHEN: Start creating whenever you want, but the AO3 collection will be open from December 7-15 to accept works for this year’s bingo. Masterposts on Tumblr will be posted each night (like… Hanukkah gifts for fandom, get it?)

WHERE: Tumblr (tag @hanukkahbingo and #hanukkahbingo) | AO3 | Discord – All works must be posted on either Tumblr or AO3 to be included in the Masterposts. Discord is for discussion, betas, cheerleading, etc!

WHY: Jewish characters and Jewish fans are often overlooked or erased during the Winter Holiday Season in favor of “Secret Santa” exchanges, Christmas-themed fics, and the idea that ~Hanukkah is Jewish Christmas~ (which spoiler for all fics in this bingo: it’s not). This panfandom Bingo challenge is to celebrate Hanukkah on its own terms and give Jewish characters and fans a place to breathe. :)

And I’m tagging @fandomevents @stuckybingo @buckybarnesbingo @tikkunolamorgtfo @progressivejudaism @damereyconnection @starspangledbigbang @starwarsblr @gffa @elizabethminkel @bettsfic @hellotailor @copperbadge @vaspider @reachmouse – if you see this and you love a Jewish or Jew-ish character (or a Jewish fan!) please reblog so that we can get a good selection of fandoms and fanworks… Jewish fans deserve love this time of year especially, and this seems like the least I could do to help spread some of that love.

[nobodysdaydreams]

OH AM I GONNA HAVE SOME FUN WITH THIS IF I EVER HAVE THE TIME TO WRITE FANFIC

(Or my reaction to Episode 61 of Wolf359: Brave New World).

Well gang, we did it. We've reach the end. Sorry for how my reactions went from super spaced out to speed running the finale in a number of days, but I did warn you that I'm just sporadic like that. Though I have been semi-putting Brave New World off, because as much as I want to know how Wolf359 ends, I don't want it to end. I love these characters. I want good things for them. As much as I hate what they did, I wish that Hilbert and Maxwell had gotten the chance to get the redemption arc that Jacobi got. Hilbert had plenty of opportunities, but Maxwell was young and its not fair. I don't know how much more sadness they are gonna throw at me, but I'm guessing its a lot and I can't listen to it all in one sitting, so I'm just mentally preparing myself.

I also don't want this to end because I've loved giving you guys these reactions. Thank you all for reading my rambles and enjoying them. It means a lot to me, and I hope you were entertained. Thanks for coming on this journey with me, and please know that the second this is over, I am gonna figure out how to unblock the wolf359 tags (I did it so long ago I forgot how I did it, oopsie-daisy), and I am am gonna be reblogging and going crazy over all your posts and fanart and stuff so I hope you're ready for that.

Plus finishing the podcast also means it's time for me to deliver on those fics I promised y'all, which have been very carefully written (in my head). I will write them out eventually, but if there is anything my tmbs mutuals will tell you, my wolf359 mutuals, it's that my ideas tend to lead to other ideas, which means my fics do tend to be a little long, but (based on the reviews I've gotten) worth the read. So it might take a while to get them on AO3, but when I do, I hope you enjoy them!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom @lovelyladylavie

Episode 61: Brave New World

The fact that Brave New World was written in 1932 and Cutter and Pryce are old and the fact that the message of Brave New World is about humans losing their humanity...already we're setting the stage.

And based on Kepler's earlier declaration, why do I suspect that this is the part where Doug's daughter's life and Minkowski's husband's life are finally on the line. I know Cutter and Pryce won't hesitate to aim their guns at them (and probably the rest of the planet too).

That moment when you can't tell if Wolf359 starts with sad piano music, or if this is just an ad for another podcast.

Oh it's the intro. Hi Hera! Or Miranda...oh wait I genuinely can't tell if this is Miranda talking about herself or Hera talking about her.

Clouded eyes, weak heart, child genius, orphan, no friends...I see. Obsessed with making things stronger and better. Yeah, except for herself I bet. Oh. She made her friends. Because she could control them. "Never left her behind, never talked back, never were afraid of her...except when she wanted them to be." "The one thing she couldn't fix was herself" see I called it!

Until? Oh no. Marcus.

And Old Man? Almost as clever as her? "Hello little girl. I want you to make a doll for me. You're very best doll. It must look like a real person, and sound like a real person, and be a real person." "And if I can?" "Then you and I will fix the world. I will be young and you will be whole and the world will finally be everything it could be. Everything it should be."

Okay. Thoughts.

When I made my jokes about Pryce being Cutter's evil science girlfriend, I was not assuming a romantic relationship, I was trying to use that language to insult Pryce and Cutter by making them sound like the kids they hate so much in a frivolous, juvenile and toxic relationship. Then, I was told by a few of you that given this assumption, it’s important that I know that I shouldn't assume that Pryce met Cutter when she was young based on this story and it was meant to be "fairytale language", which does make sense given that Cutter being willing to call Miranda his "work wife" when he's known her since she was young enough to be his granddaughter is incredibly creepy.

I appreciate the clarification, but also, I really don't think it matters whether this is hyperbole or not. If it is, then okay. Pryce and Cutter's relationship is still weird. If it's not, then Cutter's a creep, what a surprise. Tell me something I don't know.

"And so they did. And everyone lived happily ever after. The end."

The fact that it's Cutter that interrupts Miranda's story to give that closing line and declare this the end adds to the creepiness. Miranda says what Marcus's promise to her was, but never says whether she agreed before Marcus jumps in with "and so they did". Also, if Miranda was dying, Cutter was her only chance at survival. It also sounds like she was a kid with a pretty messed up view of the world. Doesn't excuse anything she did, but see Cutter? THAT is how you give a good sad backstory, and she did it in five minutes. You spent a whole hour with Nash just so you could cry that the government took your precious telescope.

--------------

"THAT'S the evil plan?" Care to fill us in Doug?

"That's THE plan, yes." Shut it Rachel. It's evil and you know it.

It's...so evil. And so...planned. Doug's words might be simple, Rachel, but sometimes simple is better. It gets to the point and cuts through the BS.

"It's real and it's happening" And ARE you happy about this Kepler? And why tell them?

Good question Kepler, why are you here? Please tell me you're going to take Rachel away.

"You're going to help" "of course I am" Are you Kepler? Oh please tell me he gets a redemption arc and betrays Cutter.

Does anyone want to fill ME in on the plan? No one? Okay. :(

"Where's the trust?" That's not for you, Rachel.

"I really don't like her" I don't either, Doug.

"What about Cutter's plan?" WHAT IS THE PLAN? WILL BOB AGREE TO IT? WHAT WILL WORK? WHAT WILL THEY DO?

We can't stop them, so let's see our families again. No, Minkowski, you can do this! I believe in you! You can't just go home, we have two hours left! That's plenty of time to stop them.

It's been a long...years.

I forget how long they've been up there. And that everyone on Earth believes they're dead.

And not do anything about WHAT? WHAT IS THE PLAN PLEASE FILL ME IN.

What was that sound?

-----------

Oh Doug is in the comms room. Oh yikes. It's okay, Doug. We've all broken very expensive lab equipment before.

"Living in a cuckoo clock" you have no idea, Doug.

"I wouldn't do that." Is that Pryce or Hera? And yeah why is there gas?

"Good boy" oh good it's Hera. Hera calls him good boy, Pryce just calls him boy.

"Who are you?" OH THIS IS DOUG MEETING HERA FOR THE FIRST TIME. At first I thought that Doug...forgot her? Or something? I was confused.

Ultraviolet halo? Contraband cigarettes. 😂

"Just ask. I'm here to help." Aw that was sweet.

-------------

Ew Rachel. I'm gonna start using "----" breaks to cut off sections.

"Actually he's in quite a lot of pain. Back to work." Always charming, Rachel.

"Thanks for saving our lives-" Kepler, that's a great question. What IS this? Where was the concern for brainwashed Jacobi or better still, WHERE WAS YOU CONCERN FOR MAXWELL? Or Jacobi dealing with her death?

"And do what? Get myself shot? Get you shot? No. I played the game." Was it worth it, Kepler?

"That's the lie you tell yourself. The truth? The truth is that you were afraid. And the only thing YOU did was try to save YOUR hide?"

Dang this dialogue is amazing.

"You're not wrong." "Which one?" "Both of you." This isn't YOUR conversation Rachel.

-----------

Momentary weakness?

Oh my gosh, the good food too? Why does Cutter hit so many show Curtain parallels? He might torture, enslave, and kill people, but he's gonna get them a good meal first.

Good for you Doug, turning down the wine. I'm proud of him.

This is a sweet moment between Doug and Lovelace. I gotta say, since I'll be reacting to this section by section, it's nice that they have it broken up a little like this so I can reach a section and then get to a stopping point if I need to.

I'm just worried about who is going to die. These conversations feel like goodbyes.

----------

Minkowski. I know you miss your husband. But...yeah, ARE you ready to go back?

YEAH WE'RE DOING THIS! To borrow from Eris's words: "Let's beat the bad guys 🥳"

----------

Quiet Rachel.

LET'S GO MINKOWSKI. WHO CARES WHAT CUTTER AND PRYCE WANT?

Wait. Destroy a whole species?

Are they talking about humans?

...are they ecofascists? Eugenicists? Pryce is literally disabled, how the heck...

"Only stay if you have to." Well, it sounds like you all have to.

"Hera what did you say to her" "Something a friend once said to me" 🥰🥰🥰

"I'm starting to think these guys are my kind of stupid" GO JACOBI!

"Adorable corpses 🥰" Rachel you suck!

"Come with us. You're still people, you're still on our side, even if you don't think you are." Very true. What do you think Pryce and Cutter will do to YOU when they have what they want? They'll dispose of you too.

"You're allowed to make mistakes as long as at some point you admit that they're mistakes!" "I was wrong and people died. All I can do is not be wrong again" "You knew what you were getting into" "No I didn't. I didn't know I was getting into mind control and reducing people to nothing. There's a line. And you're almost out of chances to get on the right side of it." PREACH!

"There is no line. Forwards. Always forwards." FORWARDS TO WHAT RACHEL? WHY HAS NO ONE SHOT HER YET?

"Thank you, Daniel, and goodbye." Oh so that's how it is. Goodbye Kepler. I look forward to your last minute sacrifice.

Character arcs woven like a quilt.

"We're going to crush them" Yeah, let's do it!

A full reboot? Worth the risk? That kind of stuff always worries me.

Is this Maxwell's notes? It's hard to recognize the voice on the recording. "She really was something special" Oh it is Maxwell.

----------

Ah. Another flashback! Jacobi meeting Maxwell.

Looks like Kepler got an important text.

"Cool stuff with robots" good work Maxwell. The best scientists can always dumb it down.

"The Whiskey speech" 😂

"You're one of the best. You're gonna do great things. It's the last nice thing you'll ever hear from me. Except: you need anything I got you're back. No matter what happens, I've got your back. I'll take you up on that." 😭💔

Oh it's okay. Take my heart. I didn't need it.

----------

"Are they going to do the smart thing?" "Well who are we to deny them an agonizing death?" Shut it Cutter.

They put a tracker on Jacobi? See I knew Rachel was a snake. So is Kepler, but at least he's gonna take a bullet for someone or something. My money's on Jacobi, but I could be wrong.

----------

Yep. Eiffel logs everything.

"I never got the chance to say I'm sorry. YOUR DAD LOVES YOU, YOUR DAD LOVES YOU SO MUCH." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

"Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something. You can go so far. I wish I could be there to see it. I love you Ann. Always and forever."

AKJLS;DJFKL;SJF;ALSKDJFA;KD

Time to go? Oh. The comms room? Oh, right. Poor Doug.

"One more day, and then we're done." This is so sad.

Wait...what is happening? OH SHE LIED. SHE'S TAKING EIFFEL HOME TO PROTECT HIM. SO HE CAN SEE HIS DAUGHTER? DON'T DO THIS TO DOUG! DON'T DO THIS TO ME.

"Go home Eiffel, hug your daughter" OH HE CALLED HER RENEE!

This leaves me with so much feeling.

Eiffel can't leave he's the main character. Who will make pop culture references? Who will save the day through the power of random associations, luck, and good intentions?😭😭😭

I hate that they the bad guys know exactly what happened too.

"I'm so sick of this happening!" Use too Doug.

Oh "For god's sake just let me change the flight plan!" So that's what the F stands for. The lore I've been waiting for.

"People need to know what's coming?" Minkowski...I get why you did what you did, but HERA DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE.

----------

Is this Minkowski's flashback?

Oh when Minkowski met Hera.

"I heard units prefer to go by their serial numbers..." "I don't" Good for you Hera!

I love this. I love these flashbacks, but they just make everything so much more sad!

----------

Ah. More piano music. Does this mean we're back to the bad guys, or...?

Is this Cutter playing the piano?

"The Tempest. Do read a book sometime. Is this the best use of our time?" Pryce and Cutter are really the most toxic people.

"A storm is coming. And on the other side..." "Oh Brave New World." "That has such people in it."

Yes, Pryce and Cutter. People. As in humans. As in: NOT YOU.

"How have they decided to throw their lives away?" "By destroying the device"

WHAT DEVICE? What are you talking about?

Heck yeah a harpoon! I hope Cutter gets it.

----------

"This is Minkowski. I love schedules and musicals and that man who I married." 😂 1-2-3-4-5? It was a good guess Doug. Would have worked in my fanfic.

Okay here comes Victor...

...um what is happening? What is this?

...a surprise party? Sounds fun! 🪩🥳

Oh right, the bio tracker. I'm happy to see Jacobi pulled one over on him. Now shoot him! Please tell me that was Victor that got shot.

They...they trapped him in the room. "Tell me this before I kick your ass" Why on Earth would he ever tell you anything Victor?

----------

Okay, so they are blowing up Pryce and Cutter's evil device, but...what is the device? What ARE they doing? Did I miss it? I'm sure they're doing something to enslave or kill all of humanity, but I'd like the specifics.

"The Hephaestus has almost fallen out of the sky so many times, it's hard to believe it's happening." Well...the show isn't over until it's over.

Is this a Lovelace flashback? A date? A date with who? Oh, Hilbert. Not that kind of date then. Oh, this is her introducing Hilbert to the crew he's going to betray.

"Prudent to keep things formal" to avoid the guilt.

Selburg. Once again with the constant fake names. Dmitri. Matthew.

Though I think Miranda has always had hers.

----------

Yeah Doug. You've listened to her say it so many times. This is like me trying to drive in my hometown. No, I wasn't paying attention in the car as a kid, I was not the one doing the driving. I just zoned out and we got from point A to point B by magic.

Oh, Minkowski. "Get up and do it already. You can do it."

Yes you can Doug. You are the main character. You are the guy that's gonna swoop in at the last second when Cutter pulls one over one them. So you CAN do it. I believe in you, Eiffel.

"Victor Uniform Lemma Charlie Alpha November VULCAN" I knew it must stand for something! Good work Doug!

----------

Oh dear. More of Pryce and Cutter's marriage falling apart.

"Time to change the world." Or you could not. Maybe you could just not.

WHY IS THE DEVICE RUNNING? WHAT DEVICE? WHY DOES HE NEED TWO MINUTES?

Please explain this? Oh of course he has a speech.

Oh he's talking to the dear listeners, not the Hephaestus crew.

Ah. The Decima virus. Thanks a lot Hilbert. DEPLOY THROUGHOUT THE EARTH? He wants to cause a pandemic????

Automatic, can't be stopped, destruction of human race? But why would the aliens care? Oh because Cutter wants them to talk to HIM? But the aliens prefer Doug.

As do most others it would seem. Hurts, doesn't it, Cutter? All those years of experience and work, and yet, you still just can't have what he has, can you?

Ah. It's Bob. Did he just shock Bob? No temporal jumps, no disintegration?

"Remarkable and cold" No Bob, you saw Doug! It's just them. They don't need to be cold.

Willing to disrupt species survival??? What piece of tech do they want? Surrogates?

They want to fill the world with people they can control?

"You can't make duplicates of our species." Bob, they are worst than you can ever imagine.

"We're going to make better humans." "That is not the way that-" "Random part out of the equation" That's a bad idea. Do you know how evolution works? Do you know the negative side effects that have come out of selective breeding of animals? The unintended consequences? To quote Miranda from earlier in the episode: READ. A. BOOK.

"Our Humanity" Gross.

HOW ARE THEY ACCEPTABLE? IT'S MUSIC. WHY ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE FOR MUSIC?

Oh here is comes. Betraying Rachel and Warren.

OH TELL HIM BOB.

"Your brains can't handle it without modification. I cannot with my limitations. Do you have Doug Eiffel?"

Hahaha...hahahahahahaha....HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA..... 😂😂😂😂

Oh boy...oh Cutter is gonna snap. If only Doug had just kept going...

Oh wow okay Cutter has lost it. What happened to emotionally playing the piano and giving speeches about how the time had come?

oh geez no, Doug is back. Doug, no, they need you for the evil plans. This is a good idea, but very bad timing.

"He wouldn't" Oh he WOULD. He really really would.

Show 'em how it's done Dougie Boy!

"I'll get it" No you will NOT Miranda.

Kepler, now is a great time to betray Cutter and Rachel. A really good time.

Also is Victor dead? I'm trying to keep track of how many bad guys are gone.

----------

"You're the only person who can receive the data Pryce and Cutter want" Oh dear.

"With my life darling, with my life" 🥹💕

So what is Hera going to do?

"Lets make sure at least someone makes it through this" YOU ALL NEED TO MAKE IT.

"Let's go get our idiot back" That's the spirit baby!

----------

Oh dear. Jacobi. "Terrific for an SI-5." Wow.

"I'm gonna win!" I hope so Jacobi. But it sounds very not good.

Oh and here's Doug. And um...other Doug. Aka Bob.

Bob. Do not do this.

That was it? "You shall not call me again" "No Bob. I shall not."

THEY KILLED BOB.

"I hate loose ends"

I mean, I saw that coming, but dumb idea. I'm SURE Bob's family will be cool with that! Oh right, he just...recreates himself. But this has got to be trippy for Doug because Bob takes his form. Imagine watching a clone of yourself die.

"Pryce is not right?" DANG IT DOUG, I WAS GONNA USE THAT PUN IN MY FANFICTION AND NOW I CAN'T (WELL MAYBE I STILL WILL WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS HERE).

"Let's make a deal 🥰" Wow Pryce is the worst. Again, very trippy how much she sounds like Doug.

Wait. GOING IN? What does. What does "going in" mean? Don't go in, I don't like going in?

Ah yes. Going into someone's mind. I've done that in my fics before too. Fun stuff. And um...it's because you're disorganized Doug, I hate to tell you.

"That was...that was...that was..." OH SHE DESTROYED THE MEMORY. OH SHE TOOK THE MEMORY?

This is...horrifying. She could take his daughter away. She could take Hera, Minkowski, and everyone and everything away.

HERA! HECK YEAH!

Oh my gosh is she actually here? Like as a person?

This is everything.

----------

Ah yes, confrontation with Cutter.

Cutter has modified his body or he has a magic shield.

He can catch bullets? Of course he can.

I wouldn't try hand to hand combat either. I bet he gave himself super strength.

There has to be a weak spot. He has to have a weakness. But what could it be...

...what is the opposite of a chai latte?

----------

Ah. Back to Jacobi.

Kepler this would be a GREAT TIME to come in and get your arc. "I'm not a good guy" oh Jacobi. What's happening now? Oh has he been pretending to lose this fight to buy them time? What is happening? It's hard to tell.

----------

She's always been interesting, Pryce! You’re just noticing now.

"You don't look like me." Disappointed, Pryce? Sad that she’s better than you?

And the fact that all these AI want human forms...this is so sad. They structured them based on human consciousness so of course they want human bodies and experiences, that's just cruel.

Wait Doug got beat up in the 2nd grade? The Star Wars Prequels? "I might be okay without that one" No one tell him about the sequels 😂😂😂

"Of course you can. You can do anything." 💕

"You and what army, 214?" The sounds in this really makes the fight sound super epic. One of my favorite parts of the whole thing.

----------

Oh gross not Rachel again. Why is she still here?

And Kepler. Dude, you wanna hurry it up? Grab your arc or go, the clock is a-ticking.

"We're changing what humanity can be." you suck Rachel.

Pulse beacon, half power? What does that mean? The signal wouldn't have made it back to Earth?

"We have tell Mr. Cutter." "Do we?" KEPLER THIS IS IT!

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!

He gave you a chance, Rachel. He gave you a chance. "After all, I am still a person. I'm on Jacobi and Minkowski's side. Even if they don't think I am"

And even if they never know you were.

Is she gonna blast him out the airlock? Rachel, you're dying, it's over! You were wrong! The best thing to do is let him live!

He's literally drinking as he goes out the airlock. My...my wish came true. But this isn't how I wanted it to... why now? Why like this? 💔

It's a true sacrifice though. Because even though no one will ever know, he still did the right thing.

You became more than just a Whiskey Boy in the end Kepler. You became so much more.

Rachel, no so much. You were never anything. It doesn't matter if Warren was not as good as you. Because now you're both dead. And your life, well...you were never anyone. Or at least, you haven't been anything or anyone for a long, long, time. So be quiet now.

Silence at last.

----------

HOW CAN CUTTER GET HER TO POINT HER GUN AT MINKOWSKI? WHAT...WHAT DID THEY DO?

Well this isn't good.

Ah yes. Back to Jacobi. Looks like Kepler's not coming to save him. But at least he took care of Rachel.

Explosives? Fireworks? Oh this is a party! 🎆🎇🧨

Well that was a grand surprise party! But um...does this mean Victor and Jacobi are dead now?

Ah back to Lovelace and Minkowski!

"It's...side wave radiation!" Okay, thank you Cutter, now we know what we need to shut down.

"Humans who do exactly what we tell them to do" "You're crazy"

Yeah. He is literally crazy.

OH SHE SHOT HER??? Oh no....Oh no please tell me SOMEONE makes it out of this.

What really did happen the night of Doug's junior prom? Sounds interesting.

Fishing with Dad? Okay these memories are getting personal.

Wait, what did Doug do?

What are they going to do? Oh they could delete the memories Bob put in there. But they need to find them before Pryce.

----------

Shut up about the stomach wound Cutter. No one cares. This isn't rewriting a person. And THAT'S NOT WHY PEOPLE CARED ABOUT HER YOU IDIOT. And without your intelligence and tech, who. are. YOU, CUTTER?

Renee Minkowski! YES! Tell him!

Lovelace you can fight this. I know you can.

Shut it Cutter. No one cares.

"Sooner or later, you're gonna do as your told" And sooner or later, you are gonna lose everything, Cutter.

"You really think I'm afraid of you?" "THE BEAUTIFUL THING IS I DON'T NEED YOU TO BE"

Please tell me they have the harpoon gun.

IT WAS THE HARPOON GUN? OH HECK YEAH!

"That's...not...how...this is suppose to..."

Yes, it is Cutter. Like you said. You know how these stories end. The good guys win. They might lose a lot in the process, but, they win.

Is he dead now, like, for real dead? I don't want to celebrate too early but MAN what a way to go.

He and Rachel even died in similar ways to. It's like they short circuited when they realized they didn't win.

----------

Ah Pryce. "I don't need to beat you. No matter how much I want to, no matter how much you deserve it, it wouldn't change anything. What I need to do is make sure you're not going to hurt anyone else again ever." That's right!

"I'm not going to hurt you." OH SAY THE CLIP YOUR WINGS LINE COME ON COME ON COME ON.

"Clip your wings a little. Goodbye Dr. Pryce."

So...Hera's gone now. So what is about to happen?

Oh no. Is she...is she gonna delete both their memories?

"Bye bye to my memories?" Oh Doug, oh poor Doug. His daughter, everything...oh Doug this sacrifice will not be forgotten. 🫡 This is so Milligan coded of him (@/tmbs mutuals).

"You can't. Don't do this." "Oooo...sorry buddy, we gotta" YEAH THROW IT BACK AT HER EIFFEL!

And goodbye. I hope you have a second chance with your daughter. I hope you never remember the trauma. All a bad dream. All a bad dream.

"Do you have any idea what you've...I'm sorry...what was I saying...where...where am I?" Oh my gosh the way her voice changed...and she apologized. Oh my gosh. She's literally a new person.

So...memories gone? Where does this leave her? Oh this will be fun in fanfics. Imagine having no memories, and people are weird about it, and then finding out that before you were basically the worst person to ever exist. How would you even mentally cope with that?

"Yeah commander, it's going." No, Doug! Doug!

"It was an honor, sir" Oh this is so sad.

"Hera...Hera I...I..." You know Hera. You were in his mind. Please tell me you know.

Oh. He's gone. 💔

----------

WHY IS RACHEL BACK I THOUGHT WE TOOK CARE OF THAT?

Oh it's her and Eiffel meeting, okay.

"Are you just asking if I'm the commander? Yes." I love Minkowski and Doug's friendship.

"Never use one word when ten will do" oh Doug...never change. Even if your memories are gone, I hope you find yourself again.

He didn't know you couldn't smoke in space? Oh Doug...at least now you can quit.

----------

"Do I know you?" Yes Doug. Yes you do.

She's briefing him. He...he doesn't remember Star Wars???

Well. At least he gets to watch it all again!

Wait. What's happening to the station? Are they...are they going into the star?

Oh no. So it's up to the dear listeners to save them, or...they just die here. Heroes. Heroes that everyone on Earth thought were dead already.

Oh she's rebooting now.

"Should we be doing something?" Oh did Renee pass out?

So...is Doug on the ship alone without his memories? What's happening?

----------

Where is Renee now? Lovelace? Where? What? The Urania? How?

Did they leave Pryce on board? Did Jacobi get out?

Oh good Hera, Minkowksi, and Lovelace made it. Jacobi did it! Nice work, Jacobi. Oh gosh he's so dramatic 😂

So I assume Doug made it too?

"What about Kepler" "No." Oh so, they must have found Rachel and discovered what he did. "You can't save everyone I suppose"

But you did save him, Jacobi. You did save Whiskey Boy.

And then where is Doug?

Oh he's listening to himself.

"I was a jerk" There's a lot worse things you can be, Doug.

It does make you wonder. If you looked at your life with a blank slate, what would you think? How would you be kinder to yourself? How would you be more critical?

"Am I still that same person?" If you want to be, Doug. If you want to be.

And what happened to Pryce? Please tell me you did not give her to the dear listeners.

IS THIS PRYCE?

Oh Hera and Pryce. "Your voice is like mine, isn't it?" "Nice to meet you, Hera." Oh. Oh my gosh. Pryce calling her Hera.

"And I'm...I'm going to tell you a very, very long story about the two of us, okay?"

I hope this ends well...

...please be a good guy, Pryce.

----------

Hey guys. Guys. Quick question.

Why are there 10 minutes left?

I um...I like this ending. They're going back to Earth, all is well. Please tell me nothing bad happens.

What happened with Pryce? Hera hasn't glitched at all? She did it. She conquered her fear. GO HERA! But um...what about Pryce? Is she...is she good?

Minkowski needs to find her husband. And yeah...you guys have a lot to figure out.

Lovelace...yep. Take Goddard down. Good idea. Explain to your friends you're an alien with extended lifespan...might want to break that gently.

Take who out?

Oh the ship. Is this it? They're going home? Please tell me they're actually going home. Don't tease me like this.

Oh right, what will Hera do now? I'm sure you'll find something.

And yeah. Doug might not know who he is, but he knows there are people he should see. And then...he'll figure it out. They'll all figure it out. "Am I still Doug Eiffel? I'm not sure. Want to find out together?"

Yes. I love this. 🥰

I also love how it connects to "will I miss you, when you go away forever Doug?" Yes, but he's not gone Hera. He's not gone.

----------

Five minutes left. So...what is that for? Do we finally get to meet Doug's daughter and Minkowski's husband...or…

That was wolf359! Oh it’s just the credits!

Great ending. But...wait. No wait. I'm confused hang on.

How did Jacobi escape from Victor to get the Urania? How is Hera going to survive on Earth? How did they fix those wounds? If the Hephaestus went into the star...

Wait. These aren't more alien copies are they? Oh wait, no Hera's here, sorry y'all I panicked for a moment. They duplicate human lives, but as far as I know, not AI. Also, if this was a happy dream sequence, why would Pryce be there? Okay, phew, we're good. We're...finally good.

And even if they are alien copies...the process will take 14,000 years. So. For the rest of their lives, at least. Especially since...they're still using Lovelace to spy on Earth. For the next 14,000 years. But I guess that’s a problem for future generations.

Okay. Great ending. Thoughts:

Cutter got what he deserved. So did Rachel, but I feel a bit sadder that she never realized the pointlessness of her life until it was too late (and really not even then). Also love that Cutter's original last name was "Newman" since he keeps making himself into "new men".

Kepler's sacrifice was great no notes. I hope he enjoyed the Whiskey.

Blessie should have come back, and in fanfic, I will find a way to make this happen.

Eris should have come back, and in fanfic, I will find a way to make this happen.

Are the Dear Listeners just going to leave Earth alone now? If the Hephaestus went into the star...does that mean they can make Rachel and Cutter copies? Because I don't like that...

I love that the aliens weren't the biggest threat in the end and Cutter was always the real monster.

Is Pryce cool now? She doesn't want revenge, does she? Like what do you even do with her at that point? (I have plans for this, don't worry).

How do they dismantle or repurpose Goddard? Cutter probably has guys still loyal to him on Earth or people who are gonna try to be the next Cutter now that he's out of the picture. How do you deal with them?

Okay...so the decima virus can be used for great good and great evil. Cutter apparently had stations with it set up all over the Earth. I hope no one stumble across one of those anytime soon. What exactly are they going to do about decima? It's still swimming about in Eiffel's blood.

Is Minkowski's journalist husband going to blow this case wide open? I hope that after her brief phone call with his secretary, Cutter didn't kill him to keep the rumors from spreading.

Will the families of all the other astronauts that died ever get closure? I know we don't want this getting out and causing panic, but they deserve answers too.

When. Is. The. Empty. Man. Going. To. Show. Up???? /j /It was Cutter the whole time because he has no humanity

Well that was fun. Again, the fanfic will probably take a good long while (I put off a lot in order to listen to this ending), but I look forward to mapping it out.

Once again, thank you all for listening along with me. This has been fun.

Now, to figure out how to unblock those pesky tags...

[parvuls]

I saw several people wondering how to participate in this bingo event. so this is how it goes: you look through your recs, you fill out the card, and... you post it 😉

to make this even more interesting, every author that gets tagged in a bingo card is now challenged to fill their own. I said what I said.

---

main character is a side character to fail better by orphan this is an unusual rec for me since the main character is camilla collins, and the main relationship explored here is jack/camilla. but really, I adore it because it's a rare example of an outsider pov on jack through the eyes of someone who likes him, and maybe sees more of him than he know. there's something very sad about jack at this point of his story, but his and canilla's awkward attempts to make something real of what they almost have are really endearing. plus: even if jack didn't fall in love with camilla, I definitely did.

still a WIP Increasing Engagement by always1895 I have a problem of hoarding WIPs and occasionally checking on them like I'm waiting for them to return from the war. this is one of those WIPs. there are two things I can never turn down, and those are social media fics and an enemies to lovers arc. just know my ass is sat down for whenever this fic is finished, and yours should be too. (*) if anyone knows the author's tumblr handle, please tag them!

short fic Patient as Pie by @edgarallanrose no fluff hits quite as hard as zimbits fluff. this short fic has jack being needy and affectionate and domestic, and it just makes me warm and gooey inside whenever I read it. which, you know, is often.

inspired you to write Two Things Only by @thewesternredcedar I'm going old school with this one, because whenever I think of a fic that inspires me I think of the summer I read this fic six times to get through my own fic. this may be in my top ten favorite fics of all time. it has endless amounts of pining, hilarity, silliness, and to top it all off, it's set during my favorite time to read about: right after graduation and before Y3. it does such a good job of nailing that jack and bitty essence that I just can't help coming back to it for inspiration.

bookmarked recently (...ish) say my name (and call me a liar) by @weneedtotalkaboutfic it may be cheating to rec a fic that was written for you, but uh, I don't care. this fic just hits all the right spots. it's smart, it's funny, it's mysterious, it's sexy, it's emotional. it has both super slow-burn and whatever the opposite of that is, thanks to a wonderful two-person-love-triangle. and if that's not enough, the real star of this fic is jack zimmermann and the journey of his sexuality and his happiness, which just blew me away.

BONUS: canon divergence But this place still stands, this place remains unchanged by @doggernaut I already have my bingo but I have more to rec, so. this fic is a really fun glimpse into a future that could've been, and it's supported by a wonderful ensemble cast (of both canon characters and realistic-feeling OCs). this fic made me laugh out loud and clutch my chest, and even though I knew where the story is headed, I couldn't wait to arrive there with it.

BONUS: isn't on AO3 lighthouse au by @appalamutte this is one of those tumblr snippets I wish I could will into becoming a full fic. just that one scene, along with the bonus background, made me fall instantly in love. historical au's can be hit or miss for me, but this was so unique and so intriguing, and (as already established) I can't resist a good enemies to lovers action.

BONUS: FREE here you come again by @ivecarvedawoodenheart honestly, no one rips my heart out of my chest quite like syd does. the first time I read this I was too emotional to think thoughts, but the second (and third, and fourth) I was just like: tell me everything about this. immediately. the phrasing lives in my head rent free? this short fic literally does.

[saficswrites]

EoaFH the Rinnen Cut

This is a scene from chapter fifteen of Elegy of a Forgotten Heir containing the fan favorite character Rinnen. I wanted to post this separately so her many fans the world over could enjoy one of her scenes without having to go through a really long fic with a lot of content warnings just to see her.

I do worry how much sense this will make without the context provided by the overarching story so I’ve included some small elaborations and a very brief summary, also this scene does contain some spoilers for the fic due to it taking place over 60k words in.

But without further ado it is Rinnening time below the cut and I hope you enjoy!

Elegy of a Forgotten Heir is an au retelling of Radiant Dawn from the lens of Petrine barely surviving Riven Bridge and becoming an integral part of the Dawn Brigade. It also includes a pretty extensive prologue giving her an actual backstory as a bastard daughter of the Crimean royal family (Ramon and Renning/Bertram’s half sister, not Elincia’s generation) and the first orphan Volke took in.

Also she and Micaiah have a thing, a weird codependent toxic thing.

If this sounds interesting to you please be mindful of the content and trigger warnings I gave to the chapters on their tumblr posts as well as the tags on Ao3. This has been a very viscerally dark story so far, that said there are no major warnings for the scene in this post.

(Larabel’s, a brothel run by Anna in Nevassa that serves as a front for an information and spy ring. Rinnen ended up becoming one of Anna’s agents, primarily an enforcer, in the aftermath of the war and she serves as Volke and Tormod’s main contact within the ring.)

(Samina, Bryce’s mother and King Ashnard’s physician. She was the one who kept Petrine alive for two years in the aftermath of Riven Bridge, though her wounds were so severe she wasn’t able to recover past simply delaying the inevitable until Micaiah’s eventual use of Sacrifice.)

Nevassa region of Daein

648th year Begnion Central Epoch

Rinnen

Rinnen stuck out like a sore thumb in her lily-white bishop's robes. Shedding them in an alleyway, she carefully sorted through the thin chains that sat on her hip. 

"Piss off, gutter trash." A man sneered as she strolled into the bar.

Rinnen snarled at the man, briefly flashing a stiletto before pushing past him to join Volke at the counter.

"You shouldn't make such a scene, little red." He murmured, sliding his tankard down the bar her way before setting a stack of cards next to her.

"You know I'm not as good at subterfuge or defusal as you, old man." Rinnen replied, her blue eyes warming with delight upon inspecting the stack of reaper cards. She swiveled in the stool, glancing at him. He looked the same, right down to the tired eyes. "How are things going in Crimea?" 

The Fireman flicked his maroon eyes in her direction, and waited for the barkeep to pass.

"Not well, Rinnen. The nobility seems primed to revolt against the newly crowned Royal.” He explained impassively. “And Daein?" 

Rinnen pocketed the reaper cards, and slid a marked coin across the bar. Tossing her long red locks over her small shoulders, she leaned forward.

"The occupation army is committing abuses on a mass scale. I've evacuated most of your orphanages to remote regions, and ensured the safety of the remaining residents of Palmeni." She whispered. Her hand briefly brushed over his, just a whisper touch as she sipped from his tankard.

"And Sella?" He muttered. Their eyes locked in silence again, and Rinnen hesitated.

"Samina is gone. I'm sorry, Volke." Rinnen whispered.

She saw it in his jaded eyes for the briefest moment. Pain, insurmountable, and a horrific flash of grief.

"Is the village okay?" He murmured, lighting a pipe. She smelled the mint, and tobacco, and closed her icy eyes.

"Yeah. By the time I got there, grandma had already been buried. Right next to my father. After I unleashed my grief, I went looking for answers. The Begnion were all but slaughtered, Volke. The villagers talked about an injured woman who fought like 3 devils, and a saint. I couldn't get much from them... something about blades of light, and rebels." Rinnen muttered, twisting a few chains around her hand in a rare sign of nervousness. "It's likely they were the Dawn Brigade. We've been in contact with them, well Anna has. I meant to visit you sooner.... I'm sorry." 

Volke shook his head.

"Samina would be happy you didn't mix yourself up in it. How is Larabel's?" He murmured gently, his grief obviously softening his tone.

Rinnen signaled for another drink, and grinned.

"Profitable as always. You should visit Anna. I'm sure she has a contract or two for you." She chuckled.

"I'm already under a job." Volke muttered, shaking his head.

"Well, I'm about to set off on a new contract. Gotta get word to the Laguz Liberatore from another one of your kids." Rinnen grumbled as she stood up, laying her hand on the old man’s shoulder.

"Be careful, Rinnen. You're the last in a bloodline of brilliance." He murmured, seemingly amused at her willingness to give out information.

"If I see any more of your 'projects', you want me to say anything to her?" Rinnen chuckled at the brief flash of anger in those old eyes, holding her hands up in mock surrender. "Sorry old man. I told you I have no ability for defusal." 

She felt a bit sad, to leave him alone in a bar. But at the same time, they both had jobs to do.

[dnfao3tags]

a guide to dnfao3tags!

hello there :] i'm kay, the admin of this blog. i've been running this blog from april 29 2022 when i made my dnf starter pack post for all those new to dnf fics. since then, i've made more than 700 posts and have added many features to my blog.

here's a little guide to everything and anything dnfao3tags!

(highly recommend checking my blog out on a pc, a lot more features are easily visible that way)

new to dnf?

as mentioned above, i have a starter pack; along with that i'd like to recommend :

my personal favs

my tag navigation page so you can easily find fics according to your wishes

i also have a masterpost of a significant number of fics i've recommended on this blog, however i don't often update it so its a little useless

every month (or whenever im free), i try to make a monthly fic roundup which i post in the first week of the new month; stay tuned for that

my trope wise reclists

spotlight fic recs from my bookmarks (dnfao3tags bookmarks)

all of my fic rec posts (dnfao3tags recs) - including reclists, spotlight fic recs, fic was founds, etc

posts made by authors themselves for their own fics (author post)

fic recs made by writers themselves (author recs)

there's also a dnf ship wiki surprisingly which might be useful if you want to get familiar with them

if you're confused about any references or something, feel free to send me an ask and hopefully me or my followers can help.

'can i help you?'

absolutely! while i don't accept any more mod/admins on this blog, you can still do the following :

rec/submit a fic (self-promo encouraged)

send me a quote you liked from a fic and view some dnf fic quotes here

here are a bunch of fic not founds that unfortunately were never found. take a look and see if you recognise any!

you can also send me fics to submit in the monthly fic roundup

sometimes i can't find fics for certain tropes so i crowdsource; check if know any fics for that particular trope and send them in

send some fic ideas you have!

deleted fics

i already made a guide to how i deal with deleted fics on this blog.

my Finding Deleted Fics: A Multi-Method Guide post.

if you're an author and would like me to take down your fics then send me a dm and i'll happily do it. if you'd like, i could also only share them in dms too.

fic not found

feel free to ask about any lost fics and i'll see if me or my followers can recognize it. please please Please be as specific as possible and also mention if you think it may be deleted.

i will post your ask asking my followers if i don't recognize it and if someone helps me out, i'll reblog your ask with the found fic so just keep checking the reblogs or the tags fic was found & fic potentially found.

searching my blog

if you open my blog on pc then you'll see one search bar in the header:

and one like this below the updates box:

the google enhanced search box is more accurate so i recommend using that one ! however, it is definitely not foolproof so i also recommend using my tagnav to search for a specific post because i tag pretty much everything. you can also send me an ask.

cool features

i have a music player ! you can send in songs for me to add to it

any tips and tricks i have for ao3 will be in this how to ao3 tag

want some writing inspo? here are some fic ideas

you can also ask me for song based reqs

i also have author archives for anonymous authors (eg. mario anon), deleted authors and orphaned authors

click this for a random post of mine

more stuff

i have a twitter (though i am inactive there)

please read my about/faq page before sending asks

i have a tag for any posts that aren't specifically fic recs and just me talking (kay talks) which you can mute if you aren't interested

occasionally i get asks about dreamnotnap which i sometimes answer; you can also mute that tag along with my not dnf tag

and that's all i can currently think of!

i'm thinking of adhering to a posting schedule so i might post about that later. i'm a bit more free these days so i'll probably be a bit more quick to asks.

hope this helped you guys out; thanks for reading :]

[longbobmckenzie]

Here are a few (haha) of my favourite oneshots in the fandom! This is by no means exhaustive, as there are tons I either haven't read or just honestly don't remember enough about. I definitely encourage everyone to dig through AO3 to find those hidden gems!

For chaptered fics, see my post here!

Henrik/MC

Christmas Timing by @mrsbsmooth - cute Christmas post-villa romance Just one more bad decision by @kittidot - post-villa second chance with a major role played by one of my own OCs Not Like I'm In Love With You by @queen-of-boops - cute friends-to-lovers Reaching The Peak by @thesepromises - Henrik and MC go climbing, then do some other activities Robin Hood Stole My Heart by @chroniccomicobsession - he stole mine too The Man From the Jungle by @mrsbsmooth - Disney-inspired

Bobby

Bittersweet by @blueberrycupcak3s - great if you love an unhappy/bittersweet ending (or Jake. or both) Dummies in Love series by losingface - series of villa and post-villa fics first and second chances by @lucolestead - S5 MC goes on Seb and Nicky's podcast and mentions someone she's got a crush on On Repeat by nutshikas - rent-free fic for me with Bobby in a villa time loop

(I feel like there should be more here tbh - there are so many great Bobby oneshots out there that I had to either keep this list short or make it way too long)

Henrik/Lucas

keep me warm by Orphan Account - post-villa Lucas struggling with his feelings for Henrik Lights, Cameras, Action… by @queen-of-boops - porn AU Sooner Than You'd Think by OverdressedandUnderwhelmed - snapshots of Henrik/Lucas in what very well could be canon The Alps by @mrsbsmooth - Lucas road-tripping through the Alps and meeting up with Henrik (inspired by story from the wedding episodes)

Bobby/Lucas

everything that glitters is moissanite by @mountainmanxoxo - Bobby fake dates someone to make Lucas jealous Rude Awakenings by @mountainmanxoxo - the OG Bobcas fic, I think? Wishful Drinking by @lucas-koh - enemies-to-lovers

Rarepairs, Threesomes & Moresomes

Filthy by @mrsbsmooth (Hamish/Andy/Marshall/MC) - foursome Men of Particular Interests by @mrsbsmooth (Noah/Lucas/Bobby) - threesome The (Ia)ins & Outs of Falling 4 You by @thoracic-orchid (Bruno/Narrator) - coworkers The Boys go on a trip by @mrsbsmooth (Lucas, Noah, Henrik, Tai, Bobby, Rocco, Gary iirc) - so much going on in this one, haha the gang bullies Henrik into a threesome by @mountainmanxoxo (Lucas/Henrik/MC) - as the title says This Momentary Blue by @sparxaf (Kassam/Felix) - the rarest of rarepairs, enemies-to-lovers, absolute must read We come in peace by @thoracic-orchid (Gary/Bobby) - aliens, bang-or-die, post-villa

Everyone Else

A Lifetime of Promises by @fuseboxmusebox (Seb) - cute friends-to-lovers Bitch by @thoracic-orchid (Jo) - what really happened on Jo/Rahim's date Golden Thread by @starsarestars (Arjun) - modern day Romeo and Juliet without the tragic ending Lucas Koh: An Erotic Life by @becangle, Jglbly934TXS (Lucas) - egotistical Lucas spoof Mean Boys by @thesepromises (Noah) - Mean Girls crossover Mer de Désir by @lucas-koh (Levi) - Levi as a French aristocrat So Good Staying Here by @sparxaf (Seb) - SEEEBBB Swimming Pool Deep by @thesepromises (Levi) - pre-villa Levi, please read The second life of Allegra Rossi by @bypine (Allegra) - vampires! Undead of Night by @queen-of-boops (Noah) - Noah as a necromancer

[bobafett]

stealing this because the boops made me realize how much i miss tag games.

How many works do you have on AO3? A grand total of 14. I am not a prolific writer.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 63,880. Please see above answer.

What fandoms do you write for? Batman and Star Wars. I have a little bit of Supernatural fic posted on an alt account, and I've been turning over an idea for an OW fic in my head for a while, but it takes me a long time to figure out how to write in a fandom in a way that still captures the "vibes" of the source material (which is always one of my goals). So I rarely branch out.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? New Cornerstone (suitless!Vader AU from a million years ago), Brothers in Arms (Jon starts to get an inkling that his best friend has perhaps not had a normal childhood), Setting the Bone (Selina Kyle: reluctant parental figure), In This Twilight (Damian and Jason brotherly bonding, first batfam fic I ever wrote), and Try to Sweep the Darkness Out (batfam Christmas special that I've almost orphaned 10 times because I hate the writing choices I made in it so much). None of the fics I'm actually proud of are on this list. Tragic.

Do you respond to comments? Irregularly and unpredictably! I will if I feel like I have something to say and it catches me in the right mood.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Uh, that would be High Water Mark since it starts with a scene of Cody contemplating suicide and ends with the instant right before Order 66 kicks in.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Problem Solving since it's the only fic I've ever written where I was actually trying to be light hearted.

Do you get hate on fics? Never, thankfully.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? If I thought I could do it successfully, I would. But I'm not, so I don't.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Basically never. There is a Doctor Who/Sherlock fic buried on my old FF.net account. There's also a Super Smash Bros fic on there that I wrote in 2009, which I suppose also counts.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I can't imagine why anyone would.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, and I never would. I'm too much of a control freak about my writing. Writing, say, shared universe stuff might be fun, but actually co-authoring something would drive me nuts.

What’s your all time favorite ship? What a question. I come back to Jaime/Brienne a lot for reading, but I don't think I'd ever write it. I write a ton of BatCat, but rarely read it because I'm particular. I like Lois/Clark, but I almost never write OR read it. I'm honestly not very ship motivated. Most of the time I filter for a ship because I'm in the mood for its attendant tropes, and if the writing is good, you can sell me on just about anything.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Hmngh. New Cornerstone again. There's 20k of an expanded version of it on my hard drive that I haven't added to since probably 2017. There's something very fun about suitless!Vader as a character because he's such a sparking, destructive livewire of a person, but also I'm experienced enough now to realize how difficult doing justice to that premise is. Also, I'd have to rewatch TCW to get Ahsoka's voice down, and I just don't got time for that shit.

What are your writing strengths? Description and sense of place. Also pretty good at dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses? Fucking. Long fic. Plot in general. I'm horrifically bad at it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'm usually inclined to keep all my dialogue in English, but it would depend on the context and the effect I was going for.

First fandom you wrote for? Purposefully? Inuyasha. Without having any idea what fanfic was? I created an Artemis Fowl fairy OC and stuck her in Indiana Jones when I was 10 years old.

Favorite fic you’ve written? They Don't Sing Songs For Me. No contest. It's perfectly captures what I think is the ideal form of fanfic: two characters who have absolutely no business interacting with each other building a compelling relationship dynamic over the course of 9k words.

I will be tagging @panharmonium, @apostatefrog, @dead-ghost-walking, @ryehouses, @yellowocaballero, @lazuliquetzal. Also anyone else who wants to. I will bring back tag games by force of will, so help me God.

[hinkel-im-home]

A Georgian emigrée with dangerous ties, a knack for languages and a fiery longing to run far, far away from home. A French-American resistance fighter, the unfortunate bastard daughter of a socialite, who seems to always be pushed into the spotlight. A Swiss orphan who is just trying to stay alive, away from the danger that tainted her childhood and that she can't seem to shake.

If it had been fate, or destiny, or coincidence, nobody could say. What was sure, was that these women were brought together by the waves of misery and sorrow that tore through the continent in those brutal, crucial years. Their pasts trailing behind them like a shadow, always too close for comfort, they learned to lean on each other, slowly, warily. When a mission goes haywire and their position in the SOE is endangered, their carefully built foundations are shaken by a trip across the Atlantic, and they must acclimate themselves to raucous and suspicious troops they are meant to tolerate on a long trek through Europe.

hello! i've been gone for about a year, but ive been working on this fic for a while and thought i might share it. there are so many inspiring stories on this app and others from brilliant users who write compelling stories and characters, and though it's certainly stressful to publish my own writing, i thought i might as well. as soon as my account reopens on ao3, i'll likely post there too. this is just the blurb, and nothing is final, but i'd love to hear feedback from you, let me know in the comments if you would actually read this please!

kisses xx

[decafdino]

Get to know your fic authors

tagged by @lemonlyman-dot-com, thank you so much!

When did you post your first ever fanfic?

Good lord, some time in 2018 (I believe it was may)

First character(s) you wrote for:

Gavin Reed and Nines (Upgraded RK800) both are from Detroit: Become Human (which I uh.... orphaned from my account because my old fics gave me the ick)

Main character(s) you’re currently writing for:

Carlos Reyes, TK Strand

Character(s) you haven’t written about before but plan on writing about soon:

My blorbos continue to be TK and Carlos, but I really like writing Carlos & Gabriel because I think there's so much fic potential there

Fandom(s) you’re currently writing for:

9-1-1: Lone Star

Platonic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Carlos and the 126 (in particular Paul & Carlos)

Tarlos and their parents... just so much to unpack there and I love it

Romantic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Tarlos

Your top 3 tags on AO3 (if you post your works on AO3):

Whump, Kidnapping, Hurt Carlos Reyes

Your current platform where you post your works:

Ao3

Snippet of the wip you’re currently working on:

"So…you really don't come from the Wilds?"

TK forces a smile for what feels like the millionth time tonight. Around him, the town orchestra swells its sound, and men and women dance joyously across the ballroom. He'd prefer to be on the floor with the rest of them, most likely making a fool out of himself, rather than stay here and dodge question after question.

"I'm afraid not," he says.

"You're sure?" the woman, some special guest of the clergy, pushes. She has on a ridiculously large hat with the bright tail feather of some exotic bird sticking out.

"I believe one would know if one spent their childhood in a completely different realm." Carlos appears at his side, and TK's knees could buckle then and there in relief. He nods at the woman. "Lady Veronica," he says cordially.

She smiles, and it's all teeth. "Is that you, Sir Reyes? Oh, how long it's been."

"Yes, it has," he replies. He takes another step between her and TK, redirecting their conversation. "I see that you've been well."

"Your father simply goes on and on about you, you know? We're all so very happy for your opportunity to go on this little…" She looks him up and down, almost like a predator in disgust of its emaciated prey, "…excursion."

"Speaking of my father, he's been looking for you. He needs to discuss some dates with you and your husband." He's fully blocking her off from TK.

Thankfully, she seems delighted by the prospect of blabbing passive aggressively to the general, and it doesn't take much more coaxing to get her sauntering off. TK's shoulders fall. "I thought she'd never leave," he groans.

"Quite a character, isn't she?"

He smirks. "You two seem to have some history."

"She always suspected me of courting her son."

"And did you?" TK asks a little too quickly for someone trying to be as nonchalant as he is.

Carlos shrugs. "She never had any proof." He leans in and whispers, "and neither do you."

leaving an open tag for anyone that wants it! Tag me back please :)

[thursdayinspace]

twenty questions for fanfic writers

I was tagged by the amazing @oohnotvery, thank you!! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10, but I orphaned my old account several years ago when I left fandom for a bit. I don't know how many I had back then, over 100 for sure.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

37.724

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files. There's most likely going to be some Star Trek in there eventually, and I ventured into other realms in the past, but right now, exclusively The X-Files.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

under construction (Torchwood)

wild side (The X-Files)

in conclusion (The X-Files)

the ghost circle (Torchwood)

the physics of being alive (Torchwood)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes. If I ever forget, I'm sorry! I love every comment and it's important to me to say thank you.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

held safely in the dark (Torchwood). It's not even all that angsty by that fandom's standards, I suppose.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Good question. I rarely ever write unhappy endings. Fanfic is my happy place. But I think the one I most enjoyed writing because there was NO angst at all was in conclusion (The X-Files).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Ohhhh my god one time in a different fandom on my old AO3, somebody left a scathing, vitriolic comment on one of my fics, but obviously meant to do it anonymously -- only they forgot to log out first. By the time I read it they had deleted their entire account. That made the whole thing actually funny in context.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. What kind? Hmm. Mostly pretty plain and boring. It's all about the feeeeeelings.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I used to. Back in the good old livejournal days I loved a good crossover. I wrote a Stargate Atlantis/Firefly crossover once, that might have been the craziest.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I'm...not sure? I think so? But that would have been like 15 years ago, I'm not sure anymore whether that actually happened or not.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! And it's so much fun. I've had a few co-writers over the years. Once life is less crazy, I might be tempted to give it another shot.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Mulder and Scully. There's a reason my tag for them is "the ship of all time."

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

None, currently. ...I'm. Hold on. That can't be true. But I truly can't think of a single one. I can't remember the last time that happened. This doesn't happen. But no, not one.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. Because it's fun, and through years and years of practice. One of my first betas drilled "show, don't tell" into my head to the point where I feel it's permanently tattooed onto the backs of my eyelids and I see it every time I blink when I'm writing. And in my very specific case, that meant learning to make people use their words. BUT it has helped me getting rid of unnecessary exposition, which at the same time made me get a lot of practice with dialogue instead. (Let's ignore the fact that I literally just posted a fic that has almost no dialogue at all...)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action. I can't do it, I'm sorry. Whose hand goes where when? Does this guy need three arms to do what I just told him to? Wait, you were just over there, how did you get here suddenly? Anyone who can write action scenes has powerful magic and I envy you and please teach me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm bilingual, so I could do that, I suppose? The need for it has never come up. Sounds fun though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stargate Atlantis!! I still miss that fandom. Ahh the livejournal nostalgia is strong tonight...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It's usually always the last one I posted, but I'm gonna say in conclusion. I'm very fond of that one.

Tagging...I don't know who has done this and who hasn't! @mr-iskender if you want to?

[hua-fei-hua]

sometimes i see posts w/people begging ao3 authors to anon or orphan works instead of deleting them, and like, i get the sentiment, i really do, but i think that there's a bit of nuance to each of these three acts that should be considered a bit more.

all three are a method of disassociating a work to your name, obviously, but orphaning is the only method that permanently revokes an author's agency over the work. deleting is the only method that revokes the reader's right to public access. anonymity is the midway point between these, but i think i can understand why one might choose to delete or orphan instead.

a while back, i was poking around livejournal, and i saw a link to a fic rec on ffn, but when i followed the link, the work had been deleted. through the wayback machine, i found the author n read the explanation on their profile: essentially, while the work had been extremely popular, they felt that it no longer represented the kind of stories they wanted to tell, especially since looking back, a lot of their jokes were in poor taste, and the thought of leaving that up for other people to find was not one they liked. so they deleted it.

a lot of readers also seem to lean on the argument, "there will always be people to whom your work has meant the world; please don't delete it (as it hurts those people)." it seems to hang on the assumption that the author is deleting out of shame, external pressure, or just hatred for their own work, and that they should remember that art has value beyond their own perception. and also don't hurt the readers as collateral.

but sometimes, as dick of a move as it is, the point of taking a fic down is to send a "fuck you" to the readers, because it is a sign of the author's ultimate agency over a fic. one could theoretically place their work into an unrevealed collection and achieve the same effect, and i know that's a thing that happens too, but the point is that the author has control over their own work, and that includes taking it down on their own terms.

my impression of why we have orphaning is bc ao3 was made in a different time, when being in fandom and writing gay porn abt fictional characters could get people fired from jobs and everything, and sometimes, due to wank, people would receive threats on their job based off the fic they wrote. people used to delete out of fear, even though they didn't want to actually take their fic away from the fan community, so ao3 gave us orphaning to remove all association and link back to the author while keeping the work up for others to read or enjoy.

of course people use it for other purposes now, too. sometimes you change fandoms, and the old one was cringe, or problematic, or you just want to start over for other reasons, and you orphan all your prior works. sometimes you have a wip that lost its spark, or has served its purpose to you creatively despite never being finished. to the orphanage with it! basically, my impression of orphaning is that it's for letting go (or preventing your own real-life murder).

anonymity is offered as a solution to those who wish to remain in control of their works whilst also dissociating their name, and that is very much a good solution for people who want to leave up their things but are anxious about orphaning.

but more than that, anonymity offers protection for people with a history of being harassed, yet wish to continue publishing. it offers the ability to thank those who leave appreciation on your works. it lets you surprise people with gifts when you're shy. hell, it can even help with an obsession with hits and kudos, since you have to jump through a few extra hoops to see your stats instead of it being right on your author page.

i guess the point is, these things can broadly overlap when it comes to "what to do with this fic i wrote but don't want on my profile anymore", but there's nuance to each one, and if an author wants to delete a fic bc it best fits their situation, then we should accept that, mourn our losses, and move on.

[sitp-recs]

I posted 4,396 times in 2022

958 posts created (22%)

3,438 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-starryknight

@sitp-recs

@stavromulabetaaa

@lqtraintracks

@ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm

I tagged 3,753 of my posts in 2022

Only 15% of my posts had no tags

#asks - 561 posts

#anon - 336 posts

#drarry recs - 231 posts

#drarry art - 205 posts

#fave - 151 posts

#drarry - 121 posts

#to read - 108 posts

#ask game - 93 posts

#drarrymicrofic - 91 posts

#signal boost - 76 posts

Longest Tag: 116 characters

#interacting with adults at that age could have gone terribly wrong but i was lucky to find good people along the way

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hey! Can you please rec some fics by authors with the most unique, beautiful writing style? I’ve read some works of fandom legends like tepre, aideomai etc, maybe there are writers that are not so widely known but very talented nonetheless? Thanks 💓

Hi anon! We are blessed with so many talented authors in this fandom it blows my mind every time I think about it. As someone who knows very little about writing styles, my opinion here is 100% subjective and largely influenced by the fics that came to my mind when I read your ask. I’ll linked them below, together with the authors’ AO3. Enjoy!

@blamebrampton | AO3 | My rec

@corvuscrowned | AO3 | My rec

@drarrytrash | AO3 | My rec

Frayach | AO3 | My rec

@graymatters | AO3 | My rec

@harryromper | AO3 | My rec

@jackvbriefs | AO3 | My rec

Omi_Ohmy | AO3 | My rec

@potteresque-ire | AO3 | My rec

RurouniHime | AO3 | My rec

Seefin (orphaned their works) | My rec

@shealwaysreads | AO3 | My rec

@tackytigerfic | AO3 | My rec

@the-starryknight | AO3 | My rec

thistle_verse | AO3 | My rec

@vivantesopales | AO3 | My rec

And whoever wrote Emerald in the Sky - are you on this list MA???? Let me love you!

279 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

#4

shit-recs

Fill this out pls

287 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#3

Did you see the update from GallaPlacidia (her email newsletter) that she’s deleting all her fics and podfics 10/1? I mostly most Good Omens stuff so I doubt my followers have read her stuff. I just want to pass along the word so people could download if they want to save her works. They’re all so good! I’ve always loved your posts and you seem to have a wide audience so figured I’d reach out to you, if you’d like to share the info. And if anyone has suggestions on how to save her podfics that would be helpful! I listen to them on my phone and have no idea how to download them. 🤪

Oh no, that’s heartbreaking news! I don’t receive her newsletter so I had no idea. How sad, I know lots of people love her work and will be truly devastated 😰😰 thanks for reaching out and sharing this, I am definitely saving my favourites and I hope everyone has the chance to do the same. Oh and good question about podfics, I’ve never downloaded any either but maybe my followers have some tips to share? Thanks again for this message, I think I’ll pin it for the time being so more people can see the news. Have a lovely week!

GallaPlacidia’s AO3

The GallaPod

@geesenoises has kindly put an archive of GP’s works together, you can access it HERE!

330 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#2

Happy New Year! Surprising absolutely no one I wasn’t able to finish this in time for NYE, oops!(And that’s why ‘stop procrastinating’ is on my resolutions list 😂). This post probably has tons of typos still so please bear with me, I promise I’ll be back later to correct them!

Simply put, 2021 was a train wreck - I struggled in many ways and decided to take a step back in some regards, including fandom. It’s been a bumpy road but despite the low amount of recs this blog has survived and there were definitely some things to celebrate, too! Once I stopped making reclists I got more free time to read, and I’m proud to say I’ve read a lot. I haven’t felt very confident about my reccing lately, but as I went through my bookmarks and noticed how much I read last year I thought why not spread a bit of love for these works?

Without further ado here are my favorite reads of 2021 featuring Drarry, rare pairs and some gorgeous artworks. This is not intended to be an ultimate list - the works below were chosen solely based on my personal preferences and they reflect very little of what’s been made last year, and what a year it was! Between brilliant microfics, Tumblr drabbles, top notch quality fests, there’s some amazing and varied content to be explored all around. I hope you guys enjoy these works as much as I did, and don’t forget to leave kudos and comments!

The Drarry fandom gave me so much last year; it was there to mend my heart and help me bounce back when I needed it the most. Even the smaller things can make a huge difference in the big picture, and I’m immensely grateful to those who have somehow been a part of it. I wanna give a special shoutout to my friends for your endless love, patience and support. Here’s to a gentler 2022! See you soon ❤️

Drarry:

Phoenix in the Fire by @fw00shy (Explicit, 1.4k)

Their first time was an accident. "Sex pollen," Draco claims, though everyone knows it was too much Ogden's after Puddlemere beat the Tornados 240-230.

This is truly a masterclass in short form, I think I hadn’t read a short fic so gorgeously written since Still Life. Fwoosh took my breath away with the precise choice of words, the subtle way the scenes blend into each other, the sinful smut full of sharp want, the smooth pacing and fabulous dialogue including delicious dirty talk and beautiful punchlines.

The Long Fall by @tackytigerfic (Mature, 3.6k)

It's supposed to be a simple house renovation, and maybe it's just the paint fumes, but Harry is feeling dizzy around Draco Malfoy. And what's the real meaning of family, anyway?

One of my favorite comfort fics, I’ve reread this more times than I can count. Tacky captures romance, wistful pining and the sense of belonging like no one else, I was moved by this devastatingly realistic portrait of married and parenting life. Sensitive, brutally honest and so very tender, this story hits right in the feels - it’s a pleasure to follow every exciting step of this big adventure Harry and Draco get to share.

Two Starts, One Finish by @lqtraintracks (Explicit, 5.4k)

I feel him before I see him. Nobody stands this close to me while I’m playing, and I’m about to turn to tell him so when he says, “You’re a tough bloke to track down,” and then leans against my baby grand.

When I first read this fic I did it three times in a row. I was so charmed and moved by this particular brand of angst: the gentle wistfulness of Draco’s voice, his yearning for Harry, their quiet domestic life and their intense chemistry made my heart burst. Lqt develops their emotional arc through the passage of time with precision and heart - nothing feels rushed, dragged or unimportant. One of the most romantic fics I’ve read this year.

Inside These Walls by @jackvbriefs (Mature, 5.6k)

The year before Draco moves to Los Angeles, Harry Potter disappears. Draco doesn't mean to find him. He's just doing his job.

This fic has one of my favorite premises ever, so creative! The roller blade magic blew my mind and I was obsessed with the intriguing atmosphere and the tension build up. Delicious eerie vibes mixed with an unusual setting, a dark mystery surrounding Harry’s job and his oh so casual sexy display of power, yes please. This suspense is a feast to the senses and will leave you at the edge of your seat until the last line, craving for more.

heavy by @onbeinganangel (Explicit, 6.5k)

Potter isn’t nearly as slick as he thinks he is, is all Draco can think about through the alcohol haze and the dizzying atmosphere of the club. He really, really isn’t. Potter is across the club, surrounded by his usual entourage, looking at Draco when he thinks Draco isn’t looking back.

There’s something to be said about a BDSM fic featured on this reclist as I rarely read this kind of smut. Trust Mari to turn my world upside down with one of the most touching love stories ever. This conflicted Draco and his devotion to Harry -subverting the D/s dynamics we usually see- caught me off guard and made my heart ache for this hot, tenderly vulnerable and unapologetic kink exploration delight.

The Other Cottage by @corvuscrowned (Teen and Up, 6.5k)

If Pansy wasn’t shagging Ginny Weasley, Draco would never have been dragged to Luna’s ridiculous Halloween party in the first place - meaning he wouldn't be sitting in the corner of the room with Harry Potter all night.

One word: chills! Yet another mind blowing suspense, this fic gave me palpitations - the smooth and clever narrative builds a disturbing atmosphere, the creepy sense of unease looming over our heads while watching a tender romance unfold. Crazy, right? Such skill! Really creative concept and a jaw dropping ending, this one is a banger.

A Grey Shrike Alighted upon my Wishbone by @opalesqueopioid (Explicit, 7k)

Cursed to forget everything about Harry Potter, Draco has to kill if he wants a cure.

Gosh, this stunning fic wrecked my heart and soul with its quiet devastation, gorgeous prose and brilliant execution of a quite unique suds concept. Draco’s sharp personality took my breath away and I was equally undone by Harry’s sweet longing, the back-and-forth banter and the raw, inevitable heartbreak. Here’s a poignant portrait of a collapsing relationship, the best pick for angsty days.

Merlin's Kitchen by @writcraft (Explicit, 12k)

Merlin’s Kitchen is a shit nightclub but having sex with Harry Potter might improve things.

Everything by Writcraft has the heart kick factor for me, as if especially crafted to meet my tastes. This sexy clubbing fic has a delicious lively pub atmosphere that makes you feel like you’re right there, watching a carefree and smooth Harry charm Draco with his openness, and be charmed back. Fabulous characterization and gorgeous dialogue, with a mature tone that gives it a thrilling sense of intimacy and promise.

The Virtues of Hygiene and the Binary of Labour by @piarelei (Explicit, 14k)

See the full post

487 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It’s fascinating how some people dismiss smut as something frivolous, vain, lacking substance and therefore value. To be clear, sex is not (and should never be seen as) mandatory in fic, and I feel heartbroken that some authors think they need to include it in order to have their work read or appreciated.

But in my opinion PWPs can be just as deep, nuanced, evocative and narratively powerful as any other story. In fact, they make for excellent character studies and can get you inside a character’s mind in a very particular way. And smut scenes in long fics can be just as useful as narrative tools, often translating dynamics too complex to be explored otherwise. Plus, they’re great for sad horny nights 😔🙌

1,849 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[arielmagicesi]

I’m a fiend for nadja/laszlo fics, so if there are any recs out there please please share people, I’m horny for their love

!!!!!!!!!! you came to the right place!!!! I'm a WWDITS fic connoisseur and I LOVE Nadja and Laszlo! I have all the fic recs for you!

First of all, if you want fic recs in general, I have my old masterlist: https://arielmagicesi.tumblr.com/post/669578331556020224/wwdits-fic-recs-masterlist It hasn't been updated since, like, January, so it's missing a lot of more recent faves, but it's got a lot of good content.

In general, if you want good Nadja content, read fics by AO3 users fangingout, nea9, astervenus, and Lesbian_in_leather.

For more specific Nadja/Laszlo fic recs:

Two of my favorites that cover a long stretch of Nadja's life in general but spend lots of time on the romance of Nadja and Laszlo: Blessed with beauty and rage (M) by nea9 and history books forgot about us (not rated) by NotVeryLikely. Mind the warnings on the second one; it has a happy ending and everything with Laszlo and Nadja is wonderful, but it includes some dark parts from Nadja's past. If you read any fics from this fandom, read these two (and How to Be Goth at Panera Bread, but that's unrelated to this list lol).

Makeup sex after the Witches episode: Apologize Like You Mean It (E) by DarklyGleaming or The Curious Incident of the Goat in the Nighttime (M) by Cousin Shelley or Imitations of a Masterpiece (E) by StarryEyedDaydreamer

Their first meeting: From the Moment I First Saw You (G) by Lesbian_in_leather. Also covered in the two long fics above

Gonna rec my fic here, and through the wild rushes a voice sweetly cried (T) by arielmagicesi, which is about how Laszlo recovered from his father's emotional neglect through his love for Nadja, and also about how he's a monsterfucker lol

Them exploring gender and being trans together: laughing away through my feeble disguise (T) by spacemanrhys or my reflection still in your eyes (T) by astervenus or Very Best of Friends (T) by fivevotesdown or a grace that nobility could only ever aspire towards (T) by Flores_De_Junio

Adorable fluff: A Night to Forget (G) by fangingout or They Will Find Me In Your Arms (T) by Ellienerd14 or Keep Her Warm (G) by Lesbian_in_leather or Undressed (E) by Whatshewrote or Look Away (G) by an orphan account or A Long Time (G) by Wr4tttttthh

Post season 3 angst: Read A Letter (G) by fangingout if you want Nadja being sad alone, or Salt (M) by nea9 if you want a bittersweet reunion. Also i can close the door on us (but the room still exists) (M) by materialslug, As the Fire Burns Down (G) by Lesbian_in_leather, Four corners (T) by nea9 (covers all the characters in different chapters), or 12 a.m., victoria line (M) by astervenus

Post season 3 angst leading to adorable fluff: you were a storm and I a sail (M) by arielmagicesi (that's me)

Sex-filled reunions after season 3: Salt (M) by nea9 fulfills this, as well as my fic now my only wish is that our plots may interwine (E) by arielmagicesi. My fic Vampire Vignettes (E) by arielmagicesi also has a long section where Laszlo and Nadja have a sexually charged reunion argument thing, but the fic's about all the characters

AUs: A Familiar Foxtrot (M) by Whatwewrote which is an AU where Nadja is a vampire and Laszlo is her familiar, or Fine Things (T) by fangingout which is a snippet of an AU where they are the characters in Our Flag Means Death

Canon-divergent AU: The Master (M) by nea9 is a long story that diverges strongly after season 3 and heavily deals with Nadja's character, including her love with Laszlo

Nadja and Laszlo having sex with other people too: so ambitious for a juvenile (M) by ghostoftonantzin is a crossover with the book My Uncle Oswald, which I haven't read but I have vague familiarity with, and it's fairly easy to get the gist even if you don't know it. Room at the Back (E) by nightcarbird is about a threesome with Nandor at the start of season 4. she had a chassis like an xjs (a skull like a high priestess) (E) by ghostoftonantzin is about Laszlo and Nadja prepping Jenna for an orgy via a threesome.

This one's more about Guillermo, but it's his perspective of Laszlo and Nadja being cute: What a Way to Spend the Evening (G) by Lesbian_in_leather

Finally, two requisite kinky sex PWPs: Show Me How to Touch You (M) by SluttyAsexual, which is about what happens when Nadja wore the Cloak of Duplication to become Nandor, and picture of hedonism (E) by spiritwife, which is about Nadja treating Laszlo to a feeder kink scene

And there are a handful of others that I either haven't read or that just weren't for me, but you can definitely find them by sorting through the tag. You'll find a lot of fics where they're only a background/side pairing, but also some fun ones where they're the main pairing! But you can be guaranteed that all the fics recced above are very good, with the first two at the beginning being EXTREMELY EXTREMELY amazing.

Anyway!!! I'm always happy to help with fic recs for this fandom lol! Especially Nadja-related. Thank you for the ask and giving me an excuse to send love to all these fic authors!!!

[noose-lion]

Ok so. Out of all the titles, the one I was LEAST interested in was "ugly duckling" because it looked pretty basic. But upon further inspection of my choices of interest,

1) it may very well be the best fic I've ever read and

2) the title doesn't really give much away. It could be. Well. Anything. I'm going to assume it's either about Dazai or Chuuya's humanity/differences from "normal" people.

Anyway, can't wait for that one! (Take your time though, give yourself breaks and try to stay healthy (✿^‿^))

WDTSDG is too cryptic and I don't like not knowing things so you're telling me about that >:( (chapter 6~)

Smoke and mirror caught my attention because it's the most recently opened...yes

Fox and the sheepdog!! Dazai's going to be foxy and Chuuya is going to be the sheepdog- Aww~ no but really what's it about. Because I saw a werewolf AU HC post just a few days ago. So I'm taking it literally for now

That's all! I hope you don't mind me asking, and of course you have a choice to answer them, you don't have to if you don't want to.

Have a good day/night :)

"Ugly Duckling"

This is a story of healing from grief. Dazai has to come to terms with Oda's choice and his own glorified version of his friend, and in doing so he gains insight into the concept of humanity. It's also a really sweet "accidental kid acquisition".

As he reached the top he was met with the open door of the above shop apartment.

It creaked further open, possibly the wind but more likely the trespasser Dazai had heard from below. Slowly, he pushed the door and slipped into the apartment. At first glance he was met with a dark and deserted dormitory like abode. Second glance, it was obvious someone had been living here for the past week.

Dazai felt a pinprick flame ignite in his gut, subtly becoming a larger and larger furnace of sharp heat, the closest thing to anger possible for the Demon Prodigy. How dare some lowlife trespass into Oda's world. 

Something crashed to the ground. Dazai spun left toward the offending sound, seeing that a closet was cracked open. Yanking his gun from his waistband he charged forward, throwing open the closet door.

"I'm sorry!"

It's Sakura. She's huddled at the back of the tiny closet, buried in a blanket. Dazai only recognizes her from a picture Oda had shown him once. Dazai drops his gun in shock, Mori would hate that, as the four year old stares up at him with wet eyes. 

"How-" Dazai had never considered this. 

How is she alive?

Oda is dead. And in his death he's left behind two lonely orphans. One a dear friend the other his beloved child.

Oda told him to save the orphans, but Dazai never considered that he'd be the sole caretaker of a child at 18. On that note he also never thought he he'd leave the mafia or live this long. And now that he has her, Dazai isn't sure he could live without her.

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"Where Do The Strays Go?" (WDTSG)

This one actually has 5 chapters already up on my ao3 (@ noose_lion). It's a Tokyo Ghoul bsd au. Kinda niche, but I'm doing it for fun and it's not my usual polished work. I try to update monthly.

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"Smoke And Silver"

Dazai pressed the gun back to the sobbing man knelt before him, he cocked it, grinning when the mole flinched. "Please, please, please…" the man blubbered and begged.

The gun clicked and the mole screamed before slumping to the ground crying. Dazai's face was contemplative, watching the boy Hirotsu felt uneasy. He began making his way toward him.

Dazai was staring at the man crumbled at his feet. Slowly he crouched before him nudging the mole's head with his gun. "You really sought to live that much? Then why, pray tell me, did you not give up your partner?"

And with that Dazai reached forward and brushed his fingers across the mole's forehead. A flash of blue light revealed a trembling woman standing at the back of the warehouse. As every mafia member and their gun turned toward the women, Hirotsu leaped forward. Dazai's gun went off with a bang, Hirotsu's stern hand the only thing keeping it pointed at the ceiling and not at the boy's head. Dazai's eyes were filled with such melancholy as he turned to look at the silver haired man. "A pity that you interrupted."

Hirotsu frowned. "I think not, Dazai-kun."

The confusion present in the boy's eyes would continue to haunt the olderman, probably forever.

Hirotsu has been assassinated. Dazai and Chuuya are investigating it with with a hunch that it's a inside job. Hirotsu had been collecting dirt on someone, and somehow it's tied to Dazai.

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"The Fox and the Sheephound"

(I'm still trying to figure out if Sheepdog or Sheephound is better...)

It's basically a Dazai joins the Sheep au. The events of 15 happened vastly different, leading to Chuuya and Dazai meeting a year later. The Sheep are a fully fledged gang and the only threat to the Mafia's control. Dazai is suffocating under the control of Mori, the boss reviving him from an attempt on a weekly basis. He wants out, and he's not above completely dismantling the Port Mafia on the way out.

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THE WEREWOLF AU IS DEFINITELY GONNA BECOME A FIC, BUT ITS STILL IN THE PLANNING STAGES.