#could not make it out today due to the agonies so. this instead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

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Practical Midwifery for Beginners

Stevie approached the doors of the labour ward with increasingly slow steps. As if putting it off long enough might mean she would never have to go in. But eventually, she reached them. Now she had to enter.

She tapped the large red button on the intercom and announced her name into the receiver. Without a word from the attendant on the other side, the door clicked open and she was free to walk in.

"Here we go then," she said quietly to herself. "now or never".

She walked into the ward with just as little pace as she had before and found it to be nothing like what she'd imagined. It was pleasant.

Ever since she'd found out she was pregnant, and for many years before, she'd imagine the birthing ward to be a place of near unimaginable horror. TV tropes of the 90s had always played through her mind whenever she thought of this place with screams of howling agony bellowing out from behind every door.

She imagined women being wheeled between one room and the next sweating, panting, cursing, and yelling at their poor befuddled partners as a melon-sized object bowled its way out from their womb.

Reality, she noted, was far more mundane. The corridor walls were a rather plain beige and entirely free of blood spatter or dents from objects thrown and embedded in their plaster. There was even a healthy-looking ficus that would have almost certainly have wilted at the first hint of foul language or violence.

Reporting to the front desk she announced herself to the pleasant receptionist who didn't look at all like the draconian torturer she had imagined in her prenatal appointments.

"Hi, um, I'm Stevie," she announced. "I'm the learning apprentice for today?"

"oh, of course!" The receptionist smiled. "When are you due?"

"Three weeks yesterday" Stevie replied.

"Wonderful, sound like you've come at just the right time. You're going to learn so much today," the receptionist continued. "Mothers always come back saying it really took the mystery and the fear out of the process for them"

Stevie wasn't so sure. She didn't want her face to give her feelings away, but she could only imagine how she'd react to watching a small human squeeze its way out of the vagina of another woman. She was pretty certain that she'd like some of the mystery left in.

This is not what she said to the receptionist, however. Instead, she smiled and nodded.

"Anne will take you through everything today," the receptionist continued "She'll be here in a minute, I hear she's got a doozy of a case for you today!"

Stevie wondered exactly what that meant. What kind of birth would she consider "a doozy"? The very idea of one human being creating and birthing another in such a short space of time was considered quite a feat to her just 9 months ago. What else could there be on top of that? She wondered if she really should stick around to find out.

She scanned up and down the corridor to look for hints of what she might be in store for. Perhaps she could see the danger far enough on the horizon. It was then, however, she realised that her time to make an escape had just run out. Anne, identified by her over-sized sharpie name tag, was barrelling towards her.

A heavy-set woman with red hair and a warm heart-felt smile, Anne reminded Stevie of a friendly neighbour or caring school teacher as she approached.

"Good morning," Anne smiled. "Don't you look ready to pop!"

Stevie ran her hand down the length of her swollen belly. She'd rather not be reminded, yet, everyone seemed compelled to remind her all the same. Already self-conscious about the size of her belly, a place like this did more to emphasize her approaching due date than anywhere else.

"Morning," she replied. "feels like it too.."

"Well not today, darling," Anne laughed. "I think we've got quite enough on our plate with the one baby we're paid to deliver"

Stevie winced a little. Hearing Anne talk about the pair of them helping to deliver a baby on their own made it feel so real and so close. She wished it was neither.

"We've got a lady in today, room 5, we think she's going to have a record breaker!" Anne said with enthusiastic cheer. "Could be one of the biggest babies we've delivered on the ward, everyone's looking out for it! You could be a celebrity in here before you come back!"

Anne laughed, but Stevie's anxiety only grew. Her hand unconsciously ran down her outsized belly as she wondered whether today was going to ease her mind or induce yet more terror at the worst possible moment.

Just then, a roar sounded out from far down the corridor. The first Stevie had heard, it sent a cold chill down her spine and formed a deep pit in the base of her stomach. Fear was approaching whether she was ready for it or now.

Anne perked up, apparently un-phased by the urgency or the intensity of what she'd heard. "Ah, that sounds like just our cue"

She turned on her heels and began walking down the corridor at a brisk pace. Stevie assumed that she was expected to follow.

"I hope you haven't made plans this evening" she continued while walking. "There's no telling what time we could be here till"

Having skipped breakfast on questionable advice, Stevie wondered if there was still a chance to grab some food if she wasn't going to get out of here for dinner. Another roar from the room down the hall told her that there most probably wasn't.

Rushing through the corridor to get to their patient, they passed room after room where endless numbers of women were deep in the throes of labour. Feeling as if she'd just entered a world she had known nothing about, Stevie couldn't resist peeking in through open doors and uncurtained windows as they raced past.

Everyone she saw looked to be in various stages of agony, desperation, and effort. Her stomach dropped again.

The next room she looked in was the most heavily attended. A handful of medical staff crowded around the bed of a young dark-haired woman pushing with every bit of effort and control it seemed she could muster.

With her legs raised in stirrups and her handheld by her partner, the beautiful young woman's face turned beet red as she fleshed her teeth and contorted her face into a grimace of pain curling around to bear down against the foreigner she'd grown inside.

"poor thing," Stevie thought, forgetting that it would be her own body heaving down in agony in just a few weeks.

Anne was walking faster now, or Stevie has accidentally slowed to watch. She picked up her pace as best she could for all the extra weight she was carrying. In the next few windows, she saw women in earlier phases of labour. Pacing around the room, bouncing on large blue exercise balls, resting bent over with their arms clinging on to the rail at the foot of the bed as if they were about to set-off and push them clean through the adjoining wall.

The next-door they found was their own audibly suffering patient. It was already open.

Entering the room, Stevie's first instinct was to leave again and perhaps come back another time. The patient, a young blonde woman with a slim body, save for the large round belly in its mid-section, had a loud booming moan that seemed to echo around the room as she squirmed in agony. Of course, Stevie realised there wasn't going to be another time. The young woman's labour was what they were there to help with. Though she wasn't exactly sure how.

"Huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhh," the patient bellowed as she held tight to her partner's hand.

Unlike Stevie, Anne looked like a natural in this highly charged room. "Well done dear, you're doing just fine," she yelled above the patient moans. "I've got an assistant here today, due very soon, she's here to see how it's all done, is that ok?"

"Fine, whatever!" the patient cried out, clearly still suffering the effects of the previous contraction.

Stevie wondered if the patient knew how little Anne's assistant knew about birth or wanted to be in the room when it happened. Surely she must have had to have been an assistant at someone else's birth before. Why would she agree to inflict it on her too after that?

Moving to the centre of the room, Stevie looked around at the surroundings, it was nicer than she'd imagined. Freshly painted, clean, tidy, and almost homely looking. A far cry from the sterile white chamber of torture that often played through her mind. Yet, she couldn't ignore the large metal stirrups that hung on the side of the bed.

The straps, pulleys, and stirrups that hung on the bed looked like a medieval torture rack updated for the modern-day. Quickly, Anne brought her back to the present with a run-down of the patient's details.

"This is Katie, a nineteen-year-old first-time mum planning a natural birth here today with her partner, Sam"

Stevie smiled awkwardly at them both and introduced herself. Unsure of where to look, how to stand, or what to say, she worried that she might look half as uncomfortable as she felt.

As if on cue, Katie bellowed another echoing moan to break the uncomfortable silence.

"Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwrghh"

Stevie's sense of medieval torture was beginning to feel more and more real. She watched as Katie writhed and moaned on the bed in front of her, clinging on to Sam's hand, squeezing it hard as she gripped and clawed at the bedsheet beside her.

She wanted to do something. Better yet, she wanted Anne to do something. Yet, she also knew there was nothing that anyone could do to ease the agony so clearly coursing through the poor girl's body.

"Now that you're coming along so well, I think it's time we had another check," Anne announced.

"Please!" Sam interjected. "Last time you came in here you left her like this. One injection and now my wife is in so much pain! Can't you give her a rest?!"

Stevie would have found it hard to argue. Anne, however, seemed unmoved.

"Yes, we did give a shot of Pitocin almost an hour ago," she replied. "That was to help baby along and, by the sounds of things it seems like it's working just fine.."

"Honey please," Katie interrupted, waving him off with her free hand. "It's ok, do whatever you need to, but be quick please, it hurts so bad"

Stevie noted how tired the woman looked. Already exhausted but with so much work to do still ahead of her. She wanted to ask how she felt, how she was coping, how she thought she could go through with such an excruciating ordeal. But she wasn't just a casual bystander now, she was a medical professional tasked with looking after her patient.

Instead, Anne continued. Raising the bed to standing height, she asked Katie to bring her feet together, raise and part her knees, and lifted the hospital sheet until the poor patient was entirely exposed to them both.

Stevie instinctively moved her gaze away in embarrassment. Of course, she reasoned, she would have to look. It was, in effect, the entire reason she was placed there.

She steeled herself for a second and returned her attention back to Katie who was laying back in bed to rest between agonising contractions.

Anne was already applying generous amounts of jelly across her fingers, palm, and back of her right hand. Then, with barely a second of hesitation, she approached Katie and slid her fingers deep inside.

"Ok, Katie, deep breath for me, here we go.."

She tensed up and winced a little as Anne made contact. On instinct, Stevie braced herself and winced too. Quickly, she caught herself, realised she was mirroring her patient, and tried to act as calm and relaxed as she didn't feel inside.

Despite her act, Stevie's eyes still widened in surprise as Anne's hand continued to push further and further inside of Katie's body. With barely a second passed, Anne's entire gloved fist was pushing deep into Katie who grimaced and squirmed as the midwife stretched at her body.

"Wonderful, dear!" Anne smiled. "You're six centimetres already! You've been working like a champion since the last exam"

With Anne still deep inside her, Katie didn't respond but to deepen her grimace and take long and controlled breaths. Her head lifted from the pillow and an expression of relief only washed over her when Anne slid her hand back out of her body. Turning to Stevie, Anne gestured at her patient "now you try".

Stevie froze. She was about to reply, but how? Turn down the offer? Was it even an offer, or was it her role for today? Before she had the chance Anne had already handed her a set of gloves.

Both Katie and Anne appeared to be waiting on her next move. She put the gloves on, though remained unsure of what was expected of her. She covered her hands in a film of jelly before taking the place Anne had set aside.

Without any more time to think, she placed her hand at the edge of Katie's vulva and slid two fingers inside. She was shocked by how physically hot and vulnerable Katie's body felt under her touch. She moved deeper inside and felt every bump and ridge of Katie's body at the tips of her gloved fingers.

With her second knuckle passing inside she wasn't sure exactly how far she should go. This was closer than she'd ever expected to be. She looked to Anne, who nodded that she can keep going. She began to wonder how Katie was feeling at this very moment.

Tempted to stop at every second, Anne continued to guide her deeper and deeper until she came to a halt against a firm wall. Now, only the base of her hand was visible outside of Katie's birth canal.

Stevie gasped in surprise, hoping the patient or her husband hadn't heard her shock. The cervix was a doughnut-shaped wall, rigid yet soft, slowly making its way open in fits and starts of pain.

Stevie could feel its opening, already impossibly wide, and thought about it being barely over halfway. Wow, she thought, it goes all the way to ten?!

Katie had only appeared slightly uncomfortable as Stevie had pushed further inside. Something, she thought it surprising, given that it looked as if she was giving birth to Stevie's entire arm. Only now was she beginning to writhe and squirm with her eyes screwed tightly shut and her face contorted in pain. Then, Stevie felt it too.

She felt Katie's muscles spasm and clamp around her as contractions broke through her body. As the poor woman moaned out and began breathing heavily and huge gasping pants, Stevie wasn't sure what she should do.

She wanted to pull her hand back, to slide it out from her birth canal and do what she could to help her through the suffering. Yet, she found it difficult to move as Katie's body seemed to tighten and clamp around her. Katie's hot, writhing body gripped hold and release her hand in almost rhythmic pulses of energy.

"You see? You see now what she feels?" Anne asked her. "You see what you'll do one day soon?"

"Y-yes?" Stevie replied. The one thing she was trying so desperately hard not to do was to think about her own labour in just a few weeks time. She didn't want to take the place of this poor woman as she howled in agony on the bed in front of her. Not now, not in 3 weeks, not ever.

Already suffering from pangs of sympathy pains, she could feel her own stomach tense up as she felt Katie's body shift and contract around her. Empathy was giving her just a taste of what it would be like for her when she returned, and she already wanted to escape it.

She began to withdraw her hand against the tightening grip of Katie's body. It felt tight and stuck. She began to pull harder.

"no, NO!" Katie suddenly screamed. "Stay in. STAY IN. STAY. IN!"

Stevie was confused. She looked up to meet her patient's eye and saw a glare and a fury that told her she couldn't move a muscle.

"I am NOT birthing you right now!" she snapped. "STAY THERE!"

Stevie could only nod as Katie winced again and pulled the bedsheet tight to her body with her free hand.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggggggghhhh!" the patient howled.

Stevie's hand was crushed and squeezed as the wave of contractions passing around it peaked with an impossibly high crest. She gasped as she thought her hand might be crushed by the power of this woman's body.

She winced as she felt her own stomach tighten again in sympathy for what Katie was going through. The pair of them breathed and panted through pains of their own. Then, as quickly as it had grown, the wave began to fall again. The vice-like grip on her hand was released and she could finally ease herself free with a great sigh of relief.

Katie caught her breath too. Muttering a barely audible "thank you" as Stevie slid herself out from a less-powerful grip.

Anne was pleased. Things were progressing along nicely and she imagined both of her women were getting immense rewards from their experience here.

"Well, I think you too have got it from here, I'll be back in a little while to check on you both,"

Anne winked at Stevie and began to walk out of the room.

"W-w-wait, what" Stevie stuttered.

"You take care of Katie here, keep an eye on those contractions and I'll be back in a little while, but you can buzz if you need me"

Anne pointed to a doorbell that hung on the wall above the bed, turned on her heels, and left.

Stevie felt a cold wave travel through her again. She wanted to run after her, plead with her, beg her to stay. She had no idea how to look after a woman in labour and was still terrified of what she might find out if she did.

By the time she found her voice to call after her, Anne was already gone. It was just her, alone in the room with the couple going through their first birth. Two pregnant women—one of them terrified of birth.

To Stevie's growing horror, Katie was already panting as a new wave of contractions built up inside her.

Katie laboured with the attendance of her husband and apprentice midwife for what felt like endless hour after endless hour. Waves of contractions broke through her with an agonising grip as both Stevie and Sam poured everything they had into comforting the poor woman through an ordeal none of them would wish on anybody.

Time blurred into a haze of agony and effort as waves of contractions came and went and she took various positions in bed to help ease its passage. Stevie could feel her level of care and her compassion grow with every minute she spent at Katie's side. She began to time out her contractions, almost to the second and could confidently measure how far dilated she'd gotten—eight at last count.

The pangs of sympathy pain that Stevie kept experiencing before were only growing with her compassion and sympathy, however. For every ten contractions, Katie was feeling one of her own in some kind of twisted sisterhood solidarity. Perhaps she had too much empathy, she thought, as she suffered through another alongside her patient.

Unwelcome interruptions, Stevie was more than ready to put a halt to them to get through the rest of the day and go home. Doing nothing to ease her mind about her own labour to come, they only solidified her resolve that she could not do this herself.

Perhaps, she thought, she could ask Anne for something to help put a stop to them today when she comes back. Not worth ringing the buzzer for, but she'd have to get on top of it soon.

By now, Katie was screaming at ear-shattering volume every 90 seconds or so. If Anne wasn't going to arrive with that noise going on, when was she going to come?

"Can't you do something?!" Sam yelled as Katie clawed at his arm, swung her fist into the bed and pulled at the sheets.

"I'm sorry!" Stevie shouted back. "I—I wish I could! Katie! You're doing great! Just keep breathing for me sweetie!"

If Katie had heard her then she showed no outward signs of reacting. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut, her breathing sporadic and intertwined with moans of agony.

Stevie's own body was now mirroring Katie's. A tight, gripping contraction took hold of her abdomen as she tried in vain to comfort her patient.

she reached out and gripped hold of the bed frame herself, breathing in long steady breaths as she fought to keep her trembling knees under her and her body upright. Sympathy pains were no joke, she thought to herself. She badly needed something to put a halt to them and focus now.

"I HAVE TO PUSH!" Katie roared in a deep, booming voice that caught Stevie off-guard.

"What?! Oh no no no! it's not time yet!" Stevie replied, increasingly thinking of pressing the buzzer as a matter of dire urgency. "Just hold on and we'll get you checked out and see where you are"

"I. HAVE. TO. PUSH" Katie replied. "I'M NOT ASKING!"

Stevie's stomach dropped, what now? Before she had a chance to reach for the buzzer, Anne came gliding through the door, seemingly unconcerned. Stevie didn't know if she'd come because she'd heard or on some kind of midwifery instinct.

"Now then, how are we doing in here?" Anne asked in a calm, flat tone.

"I think Katie wants to begin pushing soon" Stevie replied.

"I AM PUSHING!" Katie screamed over her. "NOW!!"

Stevie was startled but Anne was entirely un-phased. "Ok, sweetheart, let's get you into position first, shall we?"

She pulled at a metal lever attached to the bed and two stirrups emerged from the frame.

"Shouldn't you check her first too?" Stevie asked.

"and will you be the one to tell her not to push if she's only nine and a half?" Anne replied with a laugh.

The heavy metal stirrups clunked into place. Two footholds were raised high above the patient at the foot of the bed. Stevie helped Anne to steer Katie's legs into place as the poor girl panted and fought not to bear down against an intense pressure rising up within her.

"Good girl," Anne yelled above Katie's heavy panting.

Stevie felt another pang deep inside her stomach and grabbed at her side. It felt as if her own pains were getting more intense, but she would feel ridiculous complaining within earshot of her dearly suffering patient.

"Anne, I—I," she managed to stutter out before a deep, full-bodied roar informed both women that Katie was beginning to push.

"HNnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhARGHHHHhhhhh!" Katie groaned as her head curled forward and her face scrunched tight.

Anne turned to Stevie as their patient was beginning the final stage of her labour. "What is it?"

"Nothing," Stevie replied. She couldn't imagine complaining about just cramps now.

"Good, come on, get in here," Anne said, wheeling a tall metal stool to the foot of Katie's bed. Stevie did as instructed, taking the seat in front of her patient.

From here, Katie's feet towered high above her head to the left and the right. Her enormous belly looked like a dome-shaped hill approaching over the horizon in front of her. Above it, like a setting sun, the beet-red face of the woman she was here to care for was straining and howling in searing agony.

Was this what it was like? For everyone? Was it supposed to be her in that bed exposed to a new apprentice in just a few weeks?

She allowed her mind to drift to that scenario. She thought again about how close it seemed to medieval torture. She imagined herself lying in this bed now. Her own voice ringing in her ears, as she found herself screaming in agony, just like Katie.

Imagining what she could do to escape, when the pain and the effort got all too much, she came up with nothing. After all, what could she do for Katie here and now? There was no escape she could offer her and there'd be no escape for herself when the time came around.

The only thing she could do for Katie was to push her through, to lean into that agony, embrace it, suffer through it and aim to reach the other side. One day, it would be all she could do for herself too.

She didn't have to imagine too long to get a feel for what that might be like. As if aware of the thoughts racing through her mind, her stomach cramped again with an intensity and suddenness that took her by surprise.

She wanted to double over, to hold her belly and close her eyes until this one passed just like the last. But Anne was watching her now, and here she was, sat at the foot of the bed expected to bring this patient through her labour while she could barely control the pangs of agony she kept experiencing.

Instead, she poured her energy, anger, and frustration into Katie's labouring efforts.

"Come on, that's it!" she yelled, louder than she would have intended. "push, push PUSH!!"

Anne was impressed. The quiet wallflower she'd met a few hours ago was matching decibels and intensity with her labouring patient. Not only had she come out of her shell—she seemed to be relishing the process too.

Katie gasped for breath at the end of another excruciating push and Stevie directed her straight into the next.

"That's it, grab a breath and give me another great big push down while we've still got that contraction!"

Katie did. Wrapping her hands just behind her knees, she took in another gulp of air and curled herself up and around her enormously swollen belly.

"Yes! Yes! That's it!" Stevie yelled.

She watched as Katie's stomach appeared to rebel against her with every contraction and convulsion. Stretching tall and then wide, and then tall again—her stomach made all kinds of shapes and figures as the pair fought a battle that neither side could win. Poor thing, Stevie thought.

"Yes Katie! Yes! You're doing it! Keep that coming for me! Just like that!"

With Katie's contractions still coming on strong and fast, Stevie directed her through pushing against each and every one with an increasing ferocity and anger. Every time she pushed Stevie could see just that little bit more effort, that little bit more traction, and a lot more progress. But her strength and her energy were both beginning to wane.

"I can't!" Katie gasped at the end of a particularly intense trio of pushes. "I can't do it, it won't budge!"

Anne was ready to intervene. Her experience and her patience was often her greatest asset here, but Stevie stepped up before she even had a chance.

"Of course, you can Katie, look how far we've come already, we're so nearly there! You're doing so so good! Just the final stage to go" Stevie reassured her. "We're in this together now, and we're going to get through it"

Neither Katie nor Anne could know how literally she meant it. For every four contractions of Katie's, Stevie was suffering intense cramping of her own. Anne watched as Stevie clutched at her stomach while guiding Katie through some particularly intense contractions.

She thought little of it. Many women in Stevie's position turn their minds to their own babies as they meet with women meeting theirs. Then, it happened again. In the middle of another intense contraction and pushing effort, Stevie almost doubled over in pain, wincing and holding her belly as Katie pushed.

"You're doing great Katie, we're going to be seeing this baby in no time!" Anne said as she drew closer to Stevie.

"Honey, are you…?" she asked in a quiet, tone. She didn't want to draw attention from Katie or Sam.

"What? No!" Stevie replied. "Well, I've been… I don't know!"

Stevie felt like she was admitting the truth to herself as she admitted it to Anne. This could be it.

"It's… it's been a few hours…"

"Oh, my god" Anne replied/ "Why didn't you say anything?!"

Before she could reply, another contraction crashed through her. Admitting how intense they were really getting now, she grabbed at her stomach and moaned out in pain. Anne put one hand on her shoulder and the other on her belly. s

"Honey, we've got to get you to a ward," she told her. "We'll get you taken care of down the hall"

"What?! No!" Stevie replied, surprising herself as well as Anne. "I've got to take care of Katie, I think I can begin to see the head a little with each effort. It can't be long. At least let me be here for the delivery"

"Stevie, you're in labour! That would be insane" Anne replied. "I'm a senior midwife, usually I go from one patient to two, not from one to four! How would I explain that"

"I'm in the early stages of labour in a maternity ward," Stevie smiled. "What's crazy about that? Isn't that why it's here?"

Anne put up light protest, but Stevie continued. "It's my first baby, once Katie's delivered and we're done here I'll go get checked out straight away, I promise"

Still unsure of even what she was agreeing to, Anne didn't have the power or the strength to argue while trying to look after two labouring women at once.

"Fine, we'll keep you here but I'll be keeping a close eye" she replied.

"Of course" Stevie smiled.

In truth, she knew she needed the distraction. She needed something to do, someone to focus on, and to keep her mind on anything but the consistently growing pain that was building within her hips. Katie's labour, she thought, was the perfect antidote to hers.

"Come on now Katie, big big push with that next contraction, that baby is ready to come, lets get him moving down now"

Katie obliged with another mighty heave that brought everything she had to bear against the mass making its way down out of her body.

"I can see it! I can see the head Katie!" Stevie screamed in excitement. "Keep it coming for me! Let me see more of that head make its way down!"

"Heeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhh!" Katie's voice seemed to echo louder through the room now, something Stevie took as a good sign they were getting closer to the end.

"Is it coming?" Katie gasped out at the end of her biggest push yet. "Is it moving?!"

"It's coming!" Stevie confirmed. "I can see a little more of the head with every big push, just keep those big efforts coming for me and he's going to be here in no time at all!"

Stevie smiled with a reassurance comfort, but also steeled herself against another onslaught building inside. Reaching out to grab the frame of the bed, her fingers curled around the cold metal post and her hands gripped tight as she felt her belly tighten in agony.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhieeeeee" she moaned as quietly as she could.

Was this really happening? Was she really in the depths of labour herself? Already?

She had no idea if she even wanted to embark on this journey ever, but she certainly knew she wasn't ready now. She had to hold back as long as she could. She could barely handle the journey of delivering one baby today, she couldn't begin to imagine having to push put her own.

Time to focus, she told herself. Regather her thoughts and help Katie deliver, then she could think about what she'd do next.

She took a deep breath, still holding the metal bed frame, and instructed Katie to push again, really giving it everything she had now. Stevie wanted Katie's baby out almost as much as Katie did.

"Good! Good Katie! That's it! Yes YES!"

With every effort Katie put in, Stevie could see more and more of the head beginning to emerge. Growing from the size of a small coin, it was rapidly starting to emerge.

"What do I do?!" She asked Anne as every push caused her vulva to bulge outwards as the pressure of the head bore down through the birth canal.

"Place your right hand to the side of the head there," Anne instructed. The circle of hair forming with every effort was beginning to resemble the shape of a teardrop as it grew.

"Good, that's perfect, now place your left hand on the other side, good, just like that. I want you to apply gentle counter-pressure against the weight as the head comes down to meet you, just guide it and it'll go how it needs to"

Stevie's hands were poised against both sides of the head as Katie's body bulged down into them and pressed against her fingertips. The power and the sensations were surprising as Katie bore down into her.

With some effort required, she held back the pressure of Katie's efforts against the tips of her fingers as the head moved a little further down between her hands. Each push felt like a monumental effort and came with a strength that Stevie wasn't sure she even had in her.

In that moment, another contraction hit her and she cried out in agony alongside Katie's groans. Her own labour was progressing at pace now, contractions coming as often now for her as they were for her patient.

"Are you OK?!" Katie managed to ask between pushing efforts.

"Yes! Yes! Probably just Braxton" Stevie replied, beginning to pant. "I'm fine. Just. keep. pushing!"

Katie did as instructed and barrelled straight into another strong effort.

"Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh!"

"Good..G—GOOD!" Stevie encouraged her.

The next contraction was already barrelling down on top of the last and what she could no longer ignore was the immense sensation of pressure bearing down inside her. She knew what Katie meant now when she said she had to push. She was just barely clinging on to hold things together herself.

She carefully slipped off the stools she was perched on. She could no longer comfortably sit, or stand without rocking and shifting her hips.

Instead, she took a half-standing half squatting position at the foot of Katie's bed. Shifting her hips from side to side seemed to help her through her next contraction.

Anne saw what she was doing and immediately knew that things were more advanced than she'd said. But now, with her hands poised on Katie and in such a late stage of delivery, there was little she could do to stand in her away.

"AIeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! IT'S TOO BIG. IT'S TOO BIG!" Katie yelled, unaware that hers wasn't the only drama happening at the foot of the bed. "I'M STRETCHING SO FAR"

"I've. Got. You." Stevie managed between laboured breaths. "You're stretching beautifully! Just keep pushing for me and we're going to get this baby delivered!"

"I CAN'T!" Katie replied.

"Listen, LISTEN," Stevie shouted, suddenly finding the sternest voice she had ever used in her life. "You CAN do this! It's not far now! We can do this together! I just need you to take a deep breath in and PUSH as hard as you can and I need you to do it NOW"

Taken aback, Katie did exactly as instructed. Giving the largest, most productive, and most convincing push so far. The teardrop was now a dome emerging from her body. Still growing in size, Stevie didn't have the spare capacity to encourage her on as she swore and sweated through her own agony with her hands still poised for Katie.

With every push her patient produced, Stevie began bearing down too. Enough, just, to relieve some of the pressure and feel like she was at least doing something.

"HNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhAAAAAAAAAaAhh" Katie growled as she bore down into her hands.

Stevie pushed too, with a quieter more controlled effort as she stood at Katie's bed."Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"Arghhhhh it's coming! It's coming!" Katie screamed

The head pushed its way through and strained into Stevie's hands. She tried holding it tight but struggled to maintain composure amidst her own labouring efforts. She closed her eyes, focused on the baby emerging out under the tips of her fingers and tried to ignore, for the time being, the one bearing down through her body.

"Come on baby, come on baby" she muttered under her breath. Urging one to slow down and the other to speed up. Caught between two worlds.

The experience felt so entirely surreal that she barely had a chance to focus on the agony that wrapped around her body. She continued to push and, as she pushed, Katie's baby was quickly emerging into her hands. She felt as if the two of them were labouring together now as one.

"keep pushing honey!" is what she wanted to scream. Yet, she found that she didn't have the power or the focus to make the words come.

Katie, however, could do nothing else but push. She screamed and shrieked as the head emerged to its widest point and Stevie repositioned her hands to support its heavy weight. She was holding it now, still emerging from within Katie's lips she held the weight in her hands.

With one more heave, the head emerged with a sudden gush of fluids. Katie, relieved, collapsed back into the bed for brief respite.

Stevie, however, was only getting started. Her knees trembled under her as one contraction after another seemed to sap her strength away. Anne jumped into action, first supporting the weight of Stevie's body and then examining her latest apprentice to see how much time they had to work with. It wasn't much.

"Stevie, you're crowning!" She shouted. The head was already at the tips of Anne's fingers and ready to emerge at seemingly any moment.

"no, I can't be, I have to deliver… AHhhhhhhhh!!" Another contraction rocked through her and she found herself desperate to push again for the slightest sliver of relief. With her arms supporting Katie and this baby, however, she knew she could scarcely shift an inch.

"Katie. you. have. to. push" Stevie struggled out through tortured breaths. "We have to. Delver. the shoulders…. please…."

Tears formed in Katie's eyes. "I can't! it hurts so bad!"

Stevie locked her eyes on hers. Sweat poured off her brow and every part of her body seemed to tremble.

"Katie, I know… urghhhhh… I know, but We have got to get this baby out now. We need this. I need this! Now PUSH!!"

The last syllable impacted with a strength that only a woman bearing down on a birth of her own could ever replicate. Katie knew what was still left to do.

She grabbed behind her knees, curled her body around her stomach and heaved down with her teeth grit tight and her face contorted in agony.

For a second there was nothing. No movement at all. Stevie thought her heart would sink through her chest as Anne held her in place.

Katie felt it too. The pain was intense as it was before and the weight seemed stuck fast as she bore down against it. "PULL IT OUT! PLEASE! OWWWWwww PULL IT OUT!!!"

"PUSH KATIE!! PUSHHHHH" Stevie screamed. Quickly, she felt something again. The head began to work free in her hands, moving just at first before picking up speed and finally gushing forward into the world where Stevie caught him.

"AieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Katie collapsed once again into the bed while Stevie held the baby.

"Now, let's get you into bed" Anne announced, but Stevie shot back fast. "NO"

"I… I can't move… just.. let me push.."

"OK," Anne knew better than to argue. "Just do what you've got to do"

Wrapping the baby in one arm, Stevie held firm to the bed with the other. Taking a deep breath in she steeled herself for the pain to come and pushed with everything she had in her.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" she wailed.

"Yes, that's it! push push PUSH!" Anne encouraged her with her hands poised on either side ready to catch.

Slowly she felt her body stretch and shift itself around an enormous head. For seconds at a time she felt as if she might split in two, but she kept heaving downwards with every bit of her remaining strength.

"Come on! You've got this!" Katie yelled, now sitting up on her elbows. "Keep that push coming, this is it! This is what it's all about!"

She was right. Stevie thought. She was doing it, what had seemed impossible just hours before, birthing her baby, was now within her grasp. But she knew there was an immense agony to suffer first to get there.

A ring of fire seared up from within her and Stevie knew this was the moment to give it everything. She regrouped and refocused, screwed her eyes shut tight and pushed down hard.

The head, already sliding down, began to pick up pace. Stretching out through her body, she thought there was no more she could do. Agony radiated upwards through her as pressure pulled downward from within. Soon, pressure won out and the head shot free from her body followed by the shoulders in one fluid motion.

The relief, joy, and exhilaration pulsing through her body were almost intoxicating.

Both Katie and Anne cheered. Handing Stevie's baby to her, Anne commented on the apprentice that appeared to take her lessons to heart.

"It's not every day they're as eager as you when they come" she smiled.

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marlboroenjoyer · 1 year

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cat got your tongue

the way miguel o'hara sunk his claws into my heart and i can't shake him. he makes me REDACTED and REDACTED like... anyway- this is a part 1; its just kind of 'world building', im working on the shameless smut that will be uploaded later today most likely. i didnt beta read cause i dont believe in that shit im sorry. WILL LINK SECOND PART HERE

summary - miguel doesnt understand how to properly convey the emotion commonly known as "concern". he instead criticizes you until youve had enough and finally rendered this explosive man silent.

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there are few instances in which a sentence dies on miguel o’hara’s tongue; his vocal cords ricocheting against each other like live wires. his voice kicking up white hot sparks of thought, that sizzled against the unfortunate soul caught in “conversation” with him.

now, one of those instances had dropped itself right into miguel’s lap. he was reprimanding you for putting yourself into harm's way again. you two were dealing with a particularly difficult anomaly, with jess and gwen on the sidelines making sure to grab any pedestrians in danger. a strike of electricity surged through your spine, making you look over your shoulder to find miguel pinned down. a large slab of the building you all were in had landed on top of miguel's right arm, pinning him down to the concrete floor beneath him. the anomaly was charging him, ready to seemingly rip his head clean off his shoulders by the way he was positioned.

your body was sent into overdrive, sprinting forward, you attached two webs from each of your wrists to the ground in front of you. the webs slingshotting yourself forward towards this monster; your foot landing square on the side of its head, successfully shifting its attention towards you. you heard miguel shout out in the distance behind you as you lead this thing away from the others; for you or the others you couldn’t recognize.

everything was going according to your half haphazardly calculated plan, until you slipped up, fucked up your web placement and your focus just shattered. you were smacked down to the cement far beneath you due to a hunk of debris being slung your way. you dodged to main concern but you lost all footing you had and began to plummet. a shrill shriek ripped itself from your vocal cords as you fell, desperately reaching outwards with your wrists pointed towards the sky; praying that one of your webs would connect to something stable and allow you to swing away.

your left shoulder slammed against a ledge that was jutting out from the wall, you tumbled some more until a buzzing neon red tendril enveloped your torso and caught hold of you. all the air you had desperately been gulping down to calm yourself was sucker punched out of your body, your whole being snapping in the opposite direction of which you were falling. you were borderline lifeless as the web quickly pulled you up to safety and your other two teammates took over the fight. two strong arms held you to a rock hard chest, albeit heaving sporadically, sucking down oxygen in gulps. your head was supported against a strong shoulder, a tender hand grazing your more than dislocated shoulder. you grunted in pain from moving it and you heard a whispered apology above you.

hands kept grabbing onto the painful joint, shushing your groans of pain and ignoring your weak hand; you could hear a voice telling you that it needed to be popped back into place. you didn’t really know what he was talking about. everything was spinning and you were in so much pain. tears were slipping down your cheeks; but you didn’t even notice until gentle thumbs soothed them away. just as quickly though, those same gentle hands were distorted into iron fists; they latched onto your injured shoulder and twisted the joint back into the socket with a stomach turning pop and CRACK. you let out a yell that died into a low growl of agony. it was only a moment or two later when you felt a sharp pain in the meat of your trapezius muscle; and the relief of numbness spread through your whole body. you realized you had lost movement in all of your limbs but you were too out of it to care. you passed out only a few minutes later.

after a few painful weeks in the medical wind of the spider-society hq, your accelerated healing made it a fairly easy process; you found yourself in this little argument with miguel. he called you into his office, via lyla, claiming he needed to speak with you about the latest mission. you hadn’t seen miguel since the mission; which pissed you off to a cartain degree. you always made sure to check up on him when he got injured more than usual on missions.

it was downhill from the moment you stepped foot into that dark intimidating office. the only light that ever shone in that space was the dim orange light from his many screens. he was in your face the second the door closed behind you; immediately going on about how impulsive you are and how you jeopardized the mission. and it went on like this for about five minutes. every word that flung out of his mouth, every humiliating criticism of your actions, tore away at your resolve. you liked to think you had gotten used to miguel’s hot headed, hair trigger temper. this “conversation”, however, was very quickly making that sentiment false. eventually, you had to retaliate against the onslaught of ridicule.

“have you ever thought for a second, in that thick ass skull of yours, to thank me for saving your fucking life?! after everything i had to endure for your ass, to make sure you were okay.” your sudden interruption of miguel's unforgiving words, struck him into silence. you pinched your nose bridge, trying to get a hold of yourself, it was a habit you had picked up from him. miguel opened his mouth to argue back, despite something in the back of his mind screaming at him to shut up. stop fucking talking, you’re going to regret where this goes. thankfully before he could get his sentence out, you once again silenced him.

“the first things you speak to me after the mission are criticisms. that’s what you brought me to your office for.” you run your hands over your face, exasperated by the scenario playing out before you right now. you’ve never found yourself speaking to miguel like this before. “you have your head so far up your own ass you can’t comprehend that this is cruel. either fucking appreciate my help or don’t bother me; cause clearly speaking about the gorey details doesn’t effect you but it certainly exhausts me. i’m not gonna entertain this shit.” your voice was wavering as you rambled on. all of your pent up frustration with this man finally spilling over and out into the universe.

“you didn’t even visit me.” it was barely above a whisper, but it rang in miguel’s ears louder than anything he’s ever heard. you didn’t wait for him to respond when you left the room, the doors swung open for you automatically. with a swift exit of speed walking with assistance from your webs, miguel was left alone in his office.

#miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderman smut #across the spider verse #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 imagine #spiderman 2099 smut #miguel o'hara angst #spiderman angst #across the spiderverse angst

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jahayla-parker · 1 year

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Note/confession: this was an unplanned fic that I’ve written to shamelessly offer myself some semblance of comfort (or as I told @ell0ra-br3kk3r , remedying me needing my Freddy fix after the events of my trip; which you’ll more or less read about below- except unlike y/n I don’t actually have Freddy to comfort me 😭)

Bite Me : Freddy Carter x Reader

Description: 2.3k wc, y/n is fortunate enough to be looked after by her wonderfully caring husband Freddy after her recent vacation took an unexpected turn. Fluff, hurt/sick comfort.

Warnings: not proofread yet, one curse right at the start, mentions of bug bites and bugs, mentions of bug bite symptoms and treatment (including prescriptions and other medical settings & topics), minor mentions of a small amount of blood (from scratching too hard).

“Fuck me,” y/n whimpered, her body feeling truly miserable. She had been on a trip with friends to several beaches over the last week and now she was covered in bites. Prior to being bitten by them, she’d never even heard of no see ums. But, that didn’t stop them from aggressively attacking all areas of y/n’s body.

Freddy frowned as he watched y/n twitch as she tried to restrain herself from scratching at the inflamed, red, aggravated bites. He’d been bitten by the particular bug only once before and only a handful of marks formed that time, but he still knew how terribly itchy the welts could be. He even recalled having wished to have been bitten by mosquitoes instead as no see ums are far worse. As such, Freddy felt horrible for his wife.

“We’re almost there, darling,” Freddy encouraged softly. He reached across the console to grab Y/N’s hand, his thumb cautiously rubbing the back of it while avoiding the multiple bites present there. When y/n hummed begrudgingly in response, Freddy gazed over at her and his eyes once again tried to scan just how many bites she was covered in. He’d tried to count them upon her return home, but she just wanted to sleep as she’d gotten in at the early hours of the morning today. Unfortunately, as Freddy suspected, y/n had only been able to get a couple hours of sleep before waking up due to the pain and discomfort. Therefore, he was now driving her to the urgent care clinic nearby to be seen.

Y/n had initially been against Freddy’s idea, feeling like she was utilizing resources that would be better used by others. But, after Freddy had made it a point to authentically count out each of the bumps on her right lower leg, she quickly changed her mind. Freddy had only counted the bites on the area between the base of her right knee and the top of her right ankle. Yet, his counting was cut off by y/n when he’d reached 146 bites in that area alone.

It wasn’t uncommon for no see ums to bite in bunches with multiple bites on an area. But, Freddy hadn’t seen anything like this before. He could only imagine the amount of bugs that had ventured onto her legs as they decided to make a meal of her. Especially when he realized it wasn’t just her lower right leg that was bitten countless times. Instead, Freddy quickly realized the bites also more than covered y/n’s upper right leg, all the way to her bum. His despair over her predicament increased when he’d seen that the red itchy bites had mapped all over both legs in the same manner, the fronts and backs of her arms from her hands to her shoulders, her neck, chest, and entire upper and middle back areas as well. As ridiculous and impossible as it was, Freddy wished he could’ve protected his lovely wife from such an awful occurrence.

Freddy knew he couldn’t reasonably expect to count every single bite, much less when driving. But, the simple fact that when he’d looked over to do so he’d seen her agony broke his heart. Freddy sighed as she clutched her hands tightly together to keep from scratching futilely at the marks. After stopping at the next light, he leaned over and pressed a sympathetic kiss to her forehead. “I know you’re miserable, but you’re doing so well, love,” Freddy encouraged.

Freddy prepared himself to try and convince y/n to take the vile-tasting liquid medication the doctor had passed her way. Only, before he could even open his mouth, she’d confirmed with the doctor the appropriate process and then promptly downed the cup in one go. In fact, Freddy’s suspicions of the severity of her condition were confirmed when she went for a second toss of the contents in the cup to be sure to not miss a single drop of the remedy. He brushed some hair from her face and handed her a glass of water to wash down the aftertaste, hating that was all he could do for her.

Freddy listened to the doctor’s advice very carefully, asking plenty of follow-up questions to ensure he knew how to best help his wife. He’d easily memorized that in addition to the liquid steroid medication she’d just taken, the doctor was prescribing y/n some very strong prescription antihistamines to take twice a day at home. Freddy had discussed bathing and showering restrictions with the provider, making mental note to not let her take anything other than a cold water bath or shower until the welts were resolved. He had to come to terms with the notion that y/n’s severe discomfort might not be fully remedied for over two weeks even with the treatment offered. Freddy hated that idea and wanted to cry when he saw y/n holding back tears over the thought of this lasting that long.

“Oohhh,” y/n whined, a sarcastic laugh exiting her lips after. “Gaaahhh, Freddyyyyyy,” she cried out. She shifted around in her husband’s passenger seat unable to get comfortable. “It, it iiiitttcchhesss”.

Freddy’s eyes flickered from the road briefly to look at y/n. He sighed deeply with a frown. “I know,” he replied solemnly. “But-, no darling, no scratching,” Freddy directed, pulling her arm away from her thigh.

“But,” y/n croaked, tears in her eyes. She couldn’t believe how insanely itchy her entire body was. Not to mention, there was also this simultaneous burning sensation from the bites and she was exhausted from not sleeping. Y/n genuinely didn’t think she’d been that uncomfortable before without being in excruciating pain. “It itches so badly,” y/n pointed out weakly.

With his eyes turned back onto the road, Freddy took the hand of Y/N’s he’d grabbed moments before and brought it to his lips. He placed a loving kiss on the backside of her hand. “I’m truly sorry, darling,” he acknowledged, “but scratching, well, it’ll only make it worse”.

“Oh bite me,” y/n exclaimed, using her other hand to scratch her ankle aggressively.

Freddy sighed and shook his head. He understood her desire (to the extent he was capable of that is since her situation was far worse than anything similar that he’d ever had). But, he still despised the idea that she could be harming herself by doing so. As such, he tapped one of the few clear spots on her leg and lightly shook his head at her. “Besides,” Freddy murmured, opting for another approach to his response. “I’m afraid things biting you is what got you into this situation, no?” He teased playfully, earning an unamused glare from y/n despite her small whimperish laugh.

Y/n grimaced as the itchy sensation once again fluttered through her body from head to toe and back. She began rubbing her legs against each other in hopes of having the friction ease the desire to actually scratch the bites. Y/n knew it still wasn’t likely an ideal solution, but something had to give, and at least this way she wasn’t risking opening the welts.

“Darling, it’s time,” Freddy said as he entered their living room. He quickly passed y/n her favorite water bottle and one of her newly prescribed antihistamines. They both sighed in minimal relief as she visibly swallowed the pill. It was obvious they were both hoping the pill would start to help her discomfort soon.

“Thank you,” y/n said quietly. She set the water bottle down, a small smile forming as she realized her husband had explicitly cleaned her emotional support water bottle for her to use. “I’m sorry,” she sighed, noticing the confusion the sentiment made form on Freddy’s face. “I’m being difficult and whiny,” y/n admitted, “I know I am, but-“.

“Y/n, love,” Freddy coed warmly. He cupped her face; partially choosing that contact option because it was the only part of her body he could touch without further igniting the itching feeling constantly inside of her. “You can whine and complain all you want,” he said tenderly. “You’re in an absurdly unpleasant and downright desolate state,” Freddy frowned in sympathy. “You’re not being difficult by wanting to, or actually scratching, you are fighting the urge the best you can. I know that.” “Why don’t we watch something on the telly to distract you a bit?” Freddy suggested considerately.

“I am freaking miserable,” y/n said in a singsong voice. She laughed humorously as she slid her shorts back on over her irritated skin, restraining from scratching the bites. She heard Freddy’s sympathetic sigh over the faint sound of his footsteps as he made his way to their bathroom. Y/n turned on the sink faucet, groaning as she prepared to wash her hands with warm water for sanitary purposes despite knowing how much worse her symptoms would be as a result.

Just as the water trickled onto Y/N’s hand, she noticed a small bug on her left at the edge of the vanity corner. It was some small black bug, but that’s all she could tell from that angle. As such, she reached over and moved the decorative item that was blocking her eyes from determining what kind of bug it was that had broken into her home. Y/n quickly realized it was a tiny spider as it began dangling from a thin web against the wall.

Without hesitating or even thinking, Y/N smacked her bare palm against the bug. The realization of what she’d just done hit her instantaneously as she pulled her hand back and saw the squished black mark on the white bathroom wall. “I don’t fuck around with bugs anymore,” she declared thoughtlessly. Y/n didn’t realize how unhinged her behavior or remark were until she heard the way Freddy’s chuckles reverberated around their restroom.

Y/n swallowed thickly as she hurriedly washed her hands. She tried to hide her bashful expression as she spun to where Freddy was in order to dry her hands. Only, it seemed he’d noticed and it only fueled his laughter further. Y/n shot him a fake glare that quickly shifted as she burst into genuine laughter of her own over her actions.

“Bloody hell,” Freddy laughed. He snaked his arms around y/n’s lower back to avoid most of her bites. “I am absolutely enamored by you, y/n/n,” he confessed with an amused grin. “And, quite impressed, you not only didn’t ask me to kill the spider for you, but you used your bare palm to do so on your own and then trash talked it,” Freddy said as he shook his head.

Y/n giggled and cautiously rested her head against Freddy’s shoulder. She made sure she was positioned so that none of the areas of her skin that were covered in bites touched her husband. Not because they were contagious, as they weren’t, but rather to keep her symptoms from increasing. “Let’s not talk about that again,” y/n hummed bashfully.

“Oh, but, darling, we have to talk about that all again still,” Freddy argued playfully. He laughed lightheartedly at y/n’s exaggerated groan, knowing the giggles that followed it showed her true feelings over the situation.

Freddy gasped whisperingly as he entered the bedroom. He figured it was taking y/n too long to change into her pajamas, so he’d wandered that way to check on her and possibly offer some help. Only, it seemed her discomfort had intensified to the point she’d caved into the burning desire to scratch at the inflamed bites. For, Freddy had entered the bedroom to find y/n rapidly scratching any and all areas of her body she could get her hands on; her hands flying around as they moved between areas with aggressively intense speed and force. Yet, it was the already visible result of such actions that made Freddy uncontrollably gasp.

“Oh love,” Freddy whined quietly. He could only imagine how bad her body was feeling if she had resorted to painfully dragging her nails all over her skin in hopes of even temporary relief. Especially as she’d done so to the extent that several of the once red-from-inflammation welts were now red from the trace amount of blood that had begun to leave the now open bites.

Instead of scolding y/n for something he knew was a last resort effort for her, Freddy exited the bedroom and quickly returned with a wet towel. “Let’s clean these off with a cold cloth, yeah?” He suggested as he knelt down before her seated position at the edge of their bed. “Place your hands on my shoulders please, darling,” Freddy requested, planning on using that as a way to keep her from continuing to violently scratch at her body. “Perfect, thank you,” he hummed as he slowly brought the cold cloth to her bare skin.

Freddy took his time cleaning the blood from y/n’s skin. He had intentionally taken longer than was necessary because he recalled how the doctor mentioned a cold compress could help ease the inflammation and therefore hopefully the itching. It was only once Freddy had felt the cloth reach room temperature that he fully removed it from her skin.

When he heard y/n sigh quietly in slight disappointment, Freddy realized instead of ending the round of treatment, he should step up his game. As such, he held onto Y/N’s hands as they remained on his shoulders and lowered them to his chest as he stood. “Darling,” Freddy spoke softly before he kissed her forehead. “I’m going to draw you a cold bath, we’ll give that a try”.

Unfortunately, this went on for quite some time. But, Freddy never gave up on his efforts to ease y/n’s misery. And, no matter how bad it got, y/n was never able to feel truly desolate because she knew her husband would do whatever he could to help her. Eventually, things resolved and Freddy attested that he was going to be sure to remind her to pack & use bug spray for all of her travels even if he wasn’t there to apply it to her skin himself.

Taglist: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @missdreamofendless @nikfigueiredo @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @alex-kazbrekkersimp @opheliaofficial07 @historynerd77 @el-de-phi

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likegemstone · 5 months

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I have been in a really good groove with creating lately, and just with like "working" in general. In the past, creating has often involved a massive and constant mental wrestling match against myself—second guessing every decision, fighting through constant discouragement, rarely if ever feeling confident in what I'm working on, etc. Just all this emotional/mental exertion on top of the regular emotional/mental exertion that goes into making art.

But lately I have felt really in sync with myself—we're dancing instead of wrestling. I've been brave enough to try out new things that I've never done before (which is REALLY hard for me, like REALLY hard), and been able to notice and accept the areas of my work that I can see need improvement without beating myself up bc they aren't "good enough" yet. It has been really nice, and has shown me that, when I can care for and take responsibility for myself properly (which I now have the skills and tools to do thanks to a lot of inner work and also therapy), I can learn, grow, and improve pretty steadily, and without all the agony of that fucking exhausting wrestling match.

However.

I made a post recently about how I want to draw Daivad getting his ass kicked (and also kicking ass), right? That is in great part due to the fact that I was, at the time, rereading Kengan Asura/Kengan Omega (which is an MMA manga) and I was Very Inspired. And I still am. I've been gathering reference and inspo ever since then. And today I ran out of Haikyuu!! to watch so I was like okay now is the time—I want to draw some sick action scenes with Daivad.

But then. Here comes the anxiety. The overwhelm. The "there's no way you can pull off some sick action scenes—you can barely place characters in a scene and make it look legit, you want to try to do multiple characters interacting in a scene in extreme and dynamic poses?? no shot. and once you try and inevitably fail then you're going to be discouraged and start beating yourself up again and you'll ruin this momentum we've got going on."

So, this post is going to be me using those tools and skills I have now to work through this. Because I know I can. I've done it before.

First skill I'm going to be using: recognizing what exactly is triggering this anxiety, and figuring out a plan to care for the Part of me that's triggered. I want to ensure I'm making my decisions from Core, not from a triggered Part, and I also want to ensure I'm caring for those vulnerable Parts!

I think the thing that is making me feel so anxious and overwhelmed is because dynamic action scenes are so far out of my comfort zone and I haven't come up with a plan for connecting the dots of my current skill to Dynamic Action Scene Skill. It's a whole big leap, and that Part of me sees aaaaalllll of those, like dozens of really tricky dots that I have not mastered yet (perspective, composition, conveying movement, dynamic poses IN perspective, and so on) and is like "!!!!! HOLD UP THAT'S TOO MUCH I CAN'T FIGURE THIS OUT ALL AT ONCE. Trying to master all that stuff will take literal years and probably good money to pay for lessons from people who know wtf they're doing!!"

So, I'll care for that Part by saying: That's true! And it's okay! I'm not going to try to get the perfect action scene down right away, because you're right. Trying to force that would absolutely wreck our confidence and be really frustrating as well. And I appreciate the reminder that biting off more than I can chew can knock me back a few steps. Small bites are best sometimes.

Next skill, now that that Part has calmed down a lot and also feels steadied: coming up with a plan. I want to draw Daivad getting his ass kicked, but don't currently have the skills to pull off a whole Dynamic Action Scene yet. So how am I going to meet that desire/feed my inspiration (Daivad getting his ass kicked) while still protecting my Parts, challenging my skills, and caring for my mental health?

One dot at a time.

I could start with just breaking down some of my favorite panels from KA. Examining how Daromeon frames his scenes, how he works with perspective, how he conveys movement, etc. But specifically I want to see Daivad getting his ass kicked—so maybe I'll start with just one pose that feels doable for my skill level, use KA as reference for the pose and put Daivad in it, and since I have gotten decent at capturing his likeness, I can challenge myself to put an extreme expression on his face and still have him be recognizable. That's totally doable—it'll take time and work and lots of effort, but it's doable! And it will bring me one step closer to Dynamic Action Scene skill level!

Alright, now I'm feeling excited and fired up and also I have an exact pose in mind and I think I already have it saved somewhere, so I am off to draw Daivad, Bloody and In Pain. Wish me luck y'all!

#personal #gem problem solves #artblr #writeblr #artist problems #writer problems #mental health

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chidoroki · 1 year

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182 Days of TPN - Day 25

Chapter 25: “Inspection, Part 2”

There is a whole lot of details in this chapter cover and while I won’t list out every little thing (because that could be an entire post itself), I would feel worse if I didn’t mention it at all. Demizu’s artwork is something to behold y’all.. every day I’m thankful we had someone as talented as her to bring this wonderful story and its characters to life. I love her drawing style so much.

I once again forgot that shortly after arriving, Isabella does this laugh. Probably because the panel differs from the anime so much that I can never remember. The anime is hilarious though, look at it giving NE little dots for eyes.

The fact she can say such a thing right to their faces like that without an ounce of guilt.. you’re terrifying ma’am.

I’m certainly repeating myself from her bday post when I say that nothing she says here is really a lie. Paired with everything I rambled on about back in ch20 about the mom offer, it’s truly fascinating that the moms & sisters are labeled as the enemies only because the plot told them to be. Villains can be so complex and vary from one another in so many ways.. and when you can understand their motives, ideals and emotions to the point where you actually feel sympathetic and start to cheer for them a little, that’s the scariest thing about them. (all the children realize her words are true and Emma voices this for them towards the end of the story aka: during the chapter that breaks my heart).

Of course she knew Don & Gilda were involved with the trio as well, but you’re damn lucky she considers you all special enough to not be shipped out. Half because it further guarantees her own safety as she produces more high quality merchandise for the farm, while the other half of the reason is that she cares.

I do love that NE essentially came up with this plan telepathically, but what would’ve happened if roles were switched? I don’t think Norman would be able to hold back Isabella at all, but Emma might have been a bit quicker to use the rope to investigate the wall perhaps? Even then, if Isabella snapped Norman’s legs like twigs, would it have been Emma who gets shipped out instead? Or was Norman the ideal shipment regardless? I don’t recall if the shipment being set in stone was ever brought up and if so from where, but seeing how Emma is our main protagonist, it’s safe to assume Norman could’ve been doomed regardless. I can chat about this series all I want but I’m in no way the most knowledgeable about it, that’s for sure pfftt.

PAIN! Literal fucking pain and agony! Damn it all, I hate how perfect I can still hear her leg break but that just means the anime did a real well job with it.

Ma’am now isn’t the time to be laughing! This is a rare moment where I actually despise you!

Favorite panel/moment:

No doubt one of the best jaw-dropping cliffhangers of this series. You would think the full trio would have this unbreakable protagonist plot-armor, especially with them always reminding us that they plan to escape with everyone, yet here we are fearing for this boy’s life with not much time to spare. Such a bittersweet-sweet moment for sure. Obviously bitter due to the danger Norman’s now in but sweet because of how on edge the shipment situation makes us feel as well. And sweet again because.. damn Isabella, she’s on a roll today huh? Pulling checkmates left and right.

End of volume 3.

#the promised neverland #tpn manga #182daysoftpn #chidoroki used chatter

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thetravellingvagrant · 10 months

Text

Day 7: In Which Everyone's Ugly Children Can Die For All I care

I had planned, this morning, to get out and about into Seville nice and early to undertake a self-built walking/cultural tour of the City; my body, however, had other ideas. Not satisfied with simply being fooled, like a chicken, into thinking that my alarm had gone off at the wrong time, due to the efficacy of the rooms blackout blinds, when I awoke, properly, an hour later than I'd intended, my body screamed at me with every movement I made. My muscles hurt, my bones ached and I was all grumpy with no one to point it at, the fault for my agony lying squarely at my own feet. Who knew dragging a backpack half my own weight around for two hours in the rain and getting savaged by a mule would take it out of me so much? Not me. It was a genuine surprise.

I quickly - perhaps too quickly - dismounted the bunk bed on which I had been sleeping - a novelty in a private room, but crucially, not a nice one - wrenching all my joints out of place in the process and set about planning my day.

Google didn't offer much in the way of interesting ideas. The museum of illusion looked quite cool, though at 17 euros a ticket with an average time spent there of under one hour, I decided instead to just look at photos other people had taken while there online which, in many ways, I found to be the same, if not better, than actually going.

Beyond the museum of illusion, which has to be the name of a Sega megadrive game, I couldn't find much to do. At least nothing that would be doable with under 15,000 steps, which was about 16,000 steps than my body could take, today.

I decided then, begrudgingly, to switch today's plans with that of the next day, tough it out and go to the aquarium. God I'm brave.

The Seville aquarium was one of the few things I had planned to do before embarking on this trip. I had spotted it on the map during the planning stages of the journey and, when I did, made an audible “ooh” noise. It was supposed to be quite a big, cool one, according to reviews and while the Vasco Da Gama had been largely disappointing

Apart form this fuckin' guy.

I had high hopes for this lad which was advertised, promisingly, as having “a decent variety of fish”.

I set out into town - taking the metro this time; I'm not a fucking idiot, which was unpleasantly crowded, though with a journey time of just over ten minutes, it was difficult to mind that much.

What I *did* mind, however, was knowing that instead of the hideous trek I had undertaken the previous day, I could have just hopped on the tube for twelve minutes and spent the rest of the time having a nice hot chocolate in a cafe, rather than been pushed off the road by an irritable ass. Oh well. You live and learn, I suppose. C’est la vie. Sunrise, sunset. I'm still absolutely fucking furious.

On the other end of the journey, I realized that to make it to the aquarium, I would still need to walk through a very big, nice park. Which I did. See above re: me being brave.

The park was reet nice and I had a reet nice time there, looking at all the nice greenery and that

Oooh...

Having a good old gawk at what maps has told me was called “the old big tree”

They should call this old large tree!...No, big is better.

Having a quick wander around the, to be honest, a little oversubscribed plaza de españa

...Admittedly there aren't a lot of people in this photo, but there were loads there.

And enjoying a quick half-lunch on a nearby bench before ambling, finally, to the aquarium. By the time I arrived at it's gates, it was past 1pm.

“Oh, no!” I mumbled to myself, remembering the exquisite five hours I had spent at the Genoa aquarium last year and one very shit half hour in its cafeteria, forcing down a dry bread roll, thindly dappled with only the very scantest idea of cured meat, “only four and a bit hours til it closes! I hope I've left myself enough time to enjoy the experience!”

I checked in, using my pre-purchased ticket, thereby skipping the substantial queue that had formed at the reception and stepped boldly into the aquarium itself. And an impenetrable wall of people. It was fucking rammed.

I hadn't expected the aquarium to be so popular an attraction; particularly not so on a Wednesday afternoon, but popular it was, to the point of becoming absolutely maddening.

A veritable sea of slack jawed, witless, dead eyed dullards stood before me, taking photos of the deep sea fish with their cameras’ flash enabled, banging on the glass to get the fishes attentions and occasionally just shining their phone torch directly into the terrified faces and ill-equipped eyes of the startled creatures. People were banging on the side of the ray tank to get them to swim over through sheer curiosity then stroking, squeezing and in one case - and this is genuinely true - trying to feed one a piece of popcorn. It was insanely stressful and upsetting to watch.

Yes, the air was thick with cunts, alright and this quickly presented another problem: I couldn't fucking see anything. So absolutely swarmed with twats was the place that I would genuinely have to wait in a queue-like system for up to five minutes but typically two or three, before I could get anywhere near close enough to a tank to even get a glimpse of its contents. Then, when I did, I had to face the tuts of disgruntled parents, furious that my shoulder was appearing in the selfie they wanted to take of their child standing next to a carp or whatever stupid shit they were doing.

That was the worst thing, by far. The selfies. Parents were, as I say, literally queuing to get to the front of a tank, not to marvel at the wonder of deep-sea nature, up close, but instead to plonk their ugly, disinterested child in front of the enclosure then get a picture of it with mum, then a picture of it with dad, then a picture of them alone, before moving into the next exhibit to do literally exactly the same thing.

Fuck. Offfff.

It was a resoundingly depressing and infuriating experience, all round. Sighing, I sped up my pace and skipped a few tanks in order to get slightly ahead of the thickest throng of people (both in terms of their numbers and intellect) and managed to get maybe one percent more relaxed now they were behind me. There were, however, another group a bit ahead and the aforementioned group hot on my heels, which meant that I had to sort of stutter my way through the place, not wanting to go so fast as to run into the group ahead, but not wanting to languish too long in case the one behind caught up. It was effing nightmarish. Also, and I swear this is true, one toddler literally shit their pants mid queue and their parents finished queuing, and took two selfies before going to change their child. What the *fuck* is that?

Still, I did get a lovely picture of a jellyfish.

Eventually, I had seen, through the screens of other people's cameraphones predominantly, everything there was to see in the basement of the building. I ascended the staircase back to the first floor, steeling myself for more cuntery to come and…found myself in the gift shop. That was it. That was the whole thing. I had been there for 55 minutes, paid 15 euros for the experience and had 0 fun. I was beyond relieved to leave - 0/10; may God have mercy on all of their worthless souls. I was even too angry to steal a magnet.

I left them, fuming and disappointed, both in the aquarium and society at large and sat in the park to eat the second half of lunch. I also met a nice cat while doing that, which made things lots better.

Well done that gato

I farted away to a nearby supermarket, not.willing to undertake the bullshit walk to the Lidl “nearby” my flat, again and…it was closed. That was odd; it was only half past two…

I tried two more. All closed. I checked Google. Apparently it was something called “constitution day” which meant everything would be shut. Apart from the aquarium, I suppose, although I contest it should be shut, condemned and demolished immediately.

Quietly resigning myself to it likely being sandwiches for dinner last night and breakfast, lunch and dinner today, I sighed and moved on, with little else to do and my body really needing a bit of rest, I decided to return home for the day, making a hail Mary stop at a nearby tesco-metro equivalent on the off chance it would be open. By some miracle, it was, and I even managed to find a nice little self contained Caesar salad wrap box, fill of all nice green vegetable things which, if I'm totally honest, I think my guts have been crying out for for some days.

I then left and returned home, once more, totally ruined, to have a reasonably nice dinner, a bigger nap than I intended followed by a smaller nibble than I intended and my third sleep of the day. This one semi-permanent. As in I slept for the night. I wasn't in a coma.

#travelling #vagrant #travel #photography #aquarium #seville #sevilla #spain #selfies #the modern world is piss

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tiens-letters · 3 years

Text

Oohh another request haha. I love this thank you and i hope you like it :>

were the bruises to your heart worth it?

Childe angst

You mulled over your sister's words for the nth time today. Her voice playing on loop inside your head, drifting in and out of a mundane daydream.

"why are you still with him?" you wondered as well as to why you still stuck with Ajax, all these days in 3 years of being wit him. Perhaps it was devotion, it was love to persevere even in the wrath of crumbling times and yet why does your heart ache a little more these days he's been far from you.

The days when he would come home, wounded and tired you were there to nurse him back. Back then it was something you'd do out of care and worry, which was until these recent days where it felt as if it were a job you didnt want to do as he would shrug you off instead and locking himself in another room. You barely remember the time where you both shared a quiet night basking in each other's presence, with limbs in a tangle and your forehead upon his beating chest, it was almost none existent as the home you both had felt so utterly desolate, void of the homey ambience.

Youve endured a month of his uncalled behaviour, breaking you even further as things slipped from your grasp leaving you empty and in agony. There were times you'd silently let tears fall as he slept so soundly beside you, unbothered by your pain. He's become more and more as the harbinger you forgot him to be and not your darling lover Ajax.

He never noticed your puffy eyes, sunken cheeks and dwindling weight yet he noticed all the small mistakes youve made. Where one day, left you with a bruise on the arm due his snake like grip after blowing up on you right after he came home from a long journey to sumeru.

You left.

Childe came home earlier than expected, once again tired and nursing a few minor wounds on his body. All he wanted was your touch on his skin as you lulled him to sleep only that to his utter surprise that the house was empty. Perhaps you went out for an errand or for another pot of your favourite flower that you kept in the small garden at the back.

Not giving it too much thought, he lounged on the couch awaiting your return, eyelids soon drooping as the soft pillow coaxed him to sleep.

As the grandfather clock swings its pendulum, the sound echoing through the whole room signifying the arrival of midnight, an eerie sound waking Childe back to consciousness. Groggy from rising he scanned the room only to find it darker than before, if it werent for the nearby lamp he switched open, he swore he couldve been swallowed by the darkness.

Were you not home yet?

A dreadful feeling washed over him as your presence was nowhere around the house. He called out for you as he rushed through the halls, a sliver of hope vanishing every corner turned and every door opened led to nothing but misery.

You always leave a note as to where you are going and yet it was another one out of the many abnormalities in his home.

"Darling? Please i hope youre not playing with me!" he calls out to no one in particular, denying the fact of your existence gone with the wind. Your clothes were all intact and so does your other belongings. He thought of every possibility of what couldve befallen his lover, mostly gravitating towards the worst of the worst case scenarious and may the archons forbid, he would never recover from the blow.

"Where are you?!"

Then it dawned on him after much pondering and pulling his falling parts together. The things he did, the words he said it all came flooding through him like a rushing cold river, hitting him fair and square in the chest and came forth an otherworldly pain and regret. He gasps, almost suffocating by the weight of his sins and he wished he had died right then and there in atonement for his crimes.

Soon his vision became bleary as eyes misted over with tears that fell freely from his ocean eyes. He ruined it. Ruined you.

And yet he could not let you go.

Days seemed to pass by so fast that it had already been 5 months of liberation from Ajax's presence. You were slowly building yourself up once again, the temple that was torn down by a single crack, slowly being rebuilt brick by brick.

Your love for Ajax, even if it left quite the bruise to your heart, it was still there, lingering in the air and a part of you missed him so. You wondered how he would be doing, you wondered if he looked for you just as you did when he didnt come home on the date set, you wonder if he wept when he couldnt feel you next to him, just as you did 150 days ago. You wondered if he ever called your name all the while giving a lingering kiss to the painting that hung on the foyer. You wondered if what you both had, had any significance to him at all.

"Stop doing that." you jolted from where you sat, the book falling off your lap as you met your sister's stern glare from across the room.

"Stop doing what?"

"You are thinking about Tartaglia again. Its been over 5 months and that blundering fool never made an effort to find you much less apologize for what he did when you were still there." there was anger in her voice as she recounted the day you came to her door, teary eyed and just utterly torn. Never once did she felt like murdering someone so bad, especially when it had you, her only family involved.

"Im sorry, I-i just--"

"Hush now." she came over in her elegant strides to take you in her arms, the familiar scent of your mother's favorite perfume stayed on her like second skin and you were so grateful that you had her. You let yourself cry in her embrace in quiet comfort.

Childe never stopped.

Secretly searching for atleast a tiny clue of your whereabouts wore him down to the bone and yet he never gave up. How could he? Even if he thought he was so undeserving of you he still pushed on to right what wrong he's made. The details gathered had been insufficient to serve as a lead making Childe more desperate in his attempt to search for you. Nights were spent on scouring places and information seeking and his work, only done in the daytime. He never wasted a wink on sleep as it was an obstacle to getting closer to you and even when his body collapsed due to exhaustion of overworking all he could think was you.

The search has led a certain fatui informant who works for one of the harbingers. With a note slipped in secrecy on a specific time containing an address on the small parchment. It was all Childe needed to fuel his buried hope as he took off towards snezhenaya.

He never imagined he'd arrive right in front of the iron gates that encased the whole estate atop a mountain. The wind bellowed stronger than before as the snow rained harder upon the place. Luckily, he was born in this region and had survived throughout.

He wondered why you came here, to such a dreadful place but then again, anywhere was better than right by him.

Trying to push open the gates only to be repelled by cryo magic, burning through his gloves and into his skin, leaving fresh burns on his palms as he gasped in pain. Whoever lives here clearly didnt want anyone trespassing much less had a fancy for guests.

He was starting to grow cold as his energy was slowly being siphoned by days of travel, it would only take a matter of time before he passes out.

He calls out, hoping someone inside would hear him.

And you did, only that it seemed like the wind but the time you looked outside the library window, you saw a person outside the gates. The familiar ginger hair tousled with the wind and as you strained your ears to hear and that was when it filled your ears, Ajax's voice. Something you havent heard in quite a long time.

As quick as lightning you stood, half running half gliding through the halways and down the stairs, there was no coherent thought, only him. He was freezing outside the barrier and you pushed yourself more to reach him.

Your figure stepping out through the door was almost like a dream to him. Your name oh so longingly leaving his bluing lips.

"Ajax!" you were in time as you caught his figure which seemed lighter than before. He clung to you, legs desperately tryinf to hold him up. You were here, right in his arms, alive and warm.

"Im sorry. Im so sorry. Please I love you." he rambles on, like a mantra he apologizes over and over again, sobbing and stumbling on his words as he held you so achingly close "Forgive me. Forgive me..."

"Step away from him this instant." your sister, Signora hisses from behind you, just as you were about to coax Ajax she already had a cryo dagger aimed at his head

"Sister please!" you plead, your panic growing as you saw Ajax huffing in labored breaths "Let him come inside or he will freeze to death."

Signora sees the urgency in your eyes and the undying devotion you still hold for the man in your arms. She dematerializes the dagger with a wave of her hand.

"Fine but if I see tears in your eyes then dont you ever dare stop me from what Im going to do to him."

"Thank you sister." you smile at her as she steps backs inside the house and you follow in after her with Ajax leaning on you for support. Once inside, you had him lay on the couch by the fire after helping him out of his winter garments and replacing it for a knitted quilt.

"Im sorry." bloodshot ocean eyes looked at you with so much guilt and a love that you almost forgot "I-i im so so sorry."

"Lets talk about this after youve rested." this time you couldnt look at him, the ache in your heart throbs from the bruises it still nursed. You stood before falling further only for him to catch your shaking hand with his equally shaking one.

"Dont leave." he whimpers, the fear of abandonment increasing as he pleaded for you to stay. instead, you let go of his hand and placed yours instead over his eyes making him uncharacteristically shriek surprising you even more, making you think what other worldly pain he was experiencing as of the moment. "No! No No. Please Its dark."

Ajax cries as he thrashed around because he feared that if he sleeps he would go back to the nightmare of you not by his side and that would leave him all cold and alone just like in the past. he didnt want to go back there, not now when he's seen you. As much as he'd hate to admit, he was truly and utterly terrified but you had to let him rest and with the help of your vision he finally succumbed to a dreamless, peaceful sleep. Only that he calmed down did you notice how much he's lost, where your once sunken cheeks, puffy eyes and weight loss now transferred to him and it made you sick to your stomach. your lips found his forehead as you wished him a good rest, you left the room after bandaging his burned hands to gather yourself for when he finally came to his sensible self.

when you thought it was going to take a full day for him to wake up only to find him stumbling about in the living room calling your name on his lips like a broken record. you immediately rushed down and burst into the room to find him clutching his head and gasping breathlessly. he looked crazed until he caught sight of you standing by the door, a worried look on your face was when he finally came to. he ran to you, clung to you like it was the last day of the world to live and sighed into your welcoming smell.

"are you alright now?" you ask him as you part in arms width

"Hit me." he tells you in all seriousness in his worn out state

"W-what?" you were certain he was still out of it until he grabbed your hand in an attempt to hit himself to which you stopped immediately

"Hit me! Scream at me all you want. Call me words Ive called you. Ive broken you! Do you not see that?!" funny how he couldnt see himself, he who's become worse over the course of the months . his tone rose and fell until it was only a whisper above his panting

"Just dont abandon me." he shuts his eyes, steeling himself for your judgment until he felt your hands on his face again, making soothing circles on his cheek

"look at me Ajax." you coax him and he did and he could see assurance and the love for him still remained and he wanted to cry again but tears have long gone abandoned him and left him in such a regretful state, he truly didnt deserve you and you never deserved to be treated that way. "Youve hurt me yes and nothing can change that but I wasnt planning on you leaving you. I couldnt as I love you too much that I wouldnt imagine life without you but Ajax, the things you did to me, to us, was painful."

"I know and Im so sorry." he held himself from rambling as the pain in chest grew even more burdensome, something he would willingly carry as he vows to himself to never hurt you and if he did then he would tear himself down "I love you"

"and I to you Ajax. Just promise me that when you are having a hard time, let us talk it out and not result to screaming and painful banters."

"I promise darling. on my life and everything in this world. I vow to never cause you pain like I did and to only give you love and care that someone like you deserve."

there he was, your Ajax. He was home.

#genshin impact #genshin impact angst #genshin impact x reader #ajax #tartaglia #childe #childe angst #childe x reader #childe x reader angst #childe request #angst #haha yes pain #Spotify

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theladyofbloodshed · 2 years

Note

Fic anon! :D This is kind of really rough with book details so it’s kind of au-ish and grammar and the like, kind of long, and part 1! But hopefully well received 🥺:

I shut the door behind me, but it didn’t matter how quietly I did it. He knew I was there. I saw it in the way his back stiffened, but he didn’t turn away from where he leaned on the balcony, looking over the city. I wonder if it’s the first time he’s ever been in Velaris. I hope he relishes in it while he can. He’s not welcome to return.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him.

“Getting some air,” he quips, still keeping his back to me.

“No, I mean why did you come?”

Finally, he turns. Not to me, but to the small table on the balcony and pulls out a chair. He plops down onto it, like he’s preparing for a long night and sets down the cup I’d only just noticed in his hand on the table. An old part of me knows that he’s not drinking wine. Remembers that unless he was within the confines of his border, and opened and poured the drink himself or by Lucien, he would never touch the wine. It’s only then that he deigns to face me.

Tamlin raises a brow. “I was invited.”

“But you knew it would be here.”

“Lucien could have chosen to have his wedding and celebration in a swamp, and I would attend it still.”

He kicked out the chair opposite him and nodded at it, inviting me to sit down. But I did no such thing. He couldn’t tell me what to do anymore. His eyes dropped to my belly and he shrugged, looking over the view of the city. Dismissing me. In my own home.

I pressed, “Did you force him to invite you? What are you planning, Tamlin?”

Something that sounded like a laugh rumbled from him. His unnaturally green gaze landed on me. “Lucien and Elain invited me. I’m here for them. What are you here for?”

I don’t know why I came out here. Why I was so vigilant of this male whom I believed I loved once. But when Tamlin had arrived and stood beside Lucien at the altar, all joy I had for Elain seeped from my bones, and my attention never left him. I watched him closely, closer than even Rhys had. We were waiting for him to loose his temper. Waiting for him to spew insults at us. I was waiting for him to unleash something on me. But he all but ignored us. As if he weren’t in enemy territory. As if Rhysand, Cassian, and Azriel weren’t prepared to tear him to shreds if he so much as breathed in my direction. He laughed and joked with Lucien. He laughed and joked with my sister, who’d made it her personal mission to make him comfortable.

I didn’t know what was worse: that his presence rankled me so thoroughly I shielded myself and him from my mate and friends to sneak away to speak to him, or that I’d done so, only to discover it seemed I’d never even once crossed his mind today.

An irrational molten wave of anger pools through my blood. Tamlin takes a sip of his drink, non-the-wiser, waiting for an answer he would never get.

“You hurt him,” I say instead. Like you hurt me. “You shouldn’t be here, you must have forced him.”

“I did no such thing, but I did hurt him,” he admits. No hesitance. Remorse coats the words. “But unlike some people,”—his gaze darkens some, but he blinks it away easily—“Lucien understands communication. He understands forgiveness. And I’ve paid my dues to him.”

No. Something about this isn’t right. He’s not saying the things he should be saying. He’s not doing the things he should be doing—he’s not doing anything but sitting, calmly looking over Velaris. Not a hint of his temper. Not a hint of his claws. He shouldn’t be this way. He shouldn’t be…

At peace. Content.

Like he was happy with himself. His life.

“I don’t owe you forgiveness,” I spit.

“I don’t want it,” he throws back. “Do you think I’m still pining over you? That I’m here for you, after all these years?” He catches the curl of my lip, the twitch of my eye before I can hide it. His mouth falls. “Gods, you did.”

My lips don’t move in defense of myself. Because I had believed he was writhing with agony somewhere, still distraught over things of the past. I liked to believe it, to imagine that while I was comfortable in my bed with Rhys’s head nuzzled in my neck peacefully, Tamlin was alone in a broken home. A permanent beast in a desolate land. I slept the most sound on those nights.

Tamlin shakes his head. “If I could go back, I would let Amarantha do whatever she wished to me. At least I knew what to expect from her. But you? To put it simply, Feyre, you were by far the worst thing that ever happened to me, but I’ve forgiven myself over you. Maybe you haven’t forgiven yourself over me.”

I will never admit to him, to Rhys, even to myself, how his words gut me. They reopen old wounds and stir up new ones I can’t allow myself to think or feel.

“I did that a long time ago,” I lie smoothly.

“Then why are you standing here today?”

My breath leaves me. Something clicks within me. One piece of old pieces of myself that didn’t align with the new, and yet… There were spaces in me I hadn’t noticed before. Spaces those old pieces seemed to fit perfectly. Spaces I didn’t remember.

I didn’t want to touch them. I couldn’t touch them. I suddenly understood that the longer I stayed on this balcony, the more shifts of things would take place. I’d thought once that I hadn’t shattered when I looked in that mirror, but maybe I had. Maybe what splintered were the things I couldn’t reach, that lived just on the hazy border of my mind and my soul.

My feet don’t move through the door like they should.

“You let me die. You sat by and let me die. You hurt me. You didn’t care.”

He sits back in his seat, eyeing me like I’m a foreign creature, not the female he once loved. “So it’s an apology you’re seeking?” I didn’t realize it’s what I wanted until he said it. “It’s already been given. I will apologize for what I said at the meeting. I never had a chance to before, but I’m not going to grovel for anything I’ve already made up for if that’s what you want.”

“No, you never apologized to me.”

“For what, Feyre? For sending you home after your mate left you in a puddle of your own piss and I warned you that if Amarantha and your mate took me, there would be nothing I could do to save you? For having a poisonous arrow, lodged into heart by you, leeching my life as she killed you? For being chained to her day and night, forced to watch you wither away while he toyed with you, forced to watch her with other males—including your precious mate—forced to have her hands on me while she spoke of all the things she’d do to you if I so much as looked you? Tell me what I should apologize for because I don’t know.”

I shake my head as something else shifts within me.

“You,” I start, hoarsely. I clear my throat. “You always got angry when I tried to speak of it.”

“I needed time.”

“You never would have let me become High Lady,” I volley.

“I asked if you wanted the title. You rejected it.” Shift.

“You always sided with Ianthe. I never had any control over my life.”

“I always told you that you were free to deny her wishes. You didn’t.” Click.

I sit, my throbbing ankles quake in relief, but the pain pulses behind my eyes now. I have to calm myself. I have to be careful or I’ll lose control of my shield, and Rhys will be out here before I can finish speaking with Tamlin. Already, I can feel him press against the shields of my mind, looking for me.

“You didn’t give me a choice. You locked me in when I told you not to.”

“I gave you two choices you didn’t wish to take. You wanted the inexistent third choice, which was to go with me. I shouldn’t have done it, I’ve told you this before, but if I hadn’t, you would’ve followed me. I watched you die once. I wasn’t going to do it again.”

Shift. Shift. Shift.

“I could’ve helped you.”

Tamlin shakes his head. “How? How would you have helped me? You believe I didn’t notice your suffering, but I noticed. You couldn’t look at your bow, let alone hold a knife in your hand without shaking. Everything I did was to protect you, Feyre, so that you wouldn’t have to go through anything like that again. Was I wrong often? Yes. But it was never my intention to hurt you.”

This wasn’t right. Tamlin was a monster, a beast who’d charmed me once before his true nature shone through. But what he said and what I remembered weren’t the same. None of what he’s saying makes sense. Even as several parts of me lock into place, it doesn’t make sense.

Finally, I say, “It’s your fault Rhysand’s mother and sister are dead.”

The balcony goes eerily quiet. The noise of the city fading to nothing. The noise from inside as dead as a tomb. And Tamlin’s face smooths with understanding as he skims my face, taking in the ridges of my skin around my downturned mouth and brows. His jaw works, and I half rise out of my chair, ready for his magic to fling at me.

But the corners of his mouth lift. A small, almost delicate, smile that would hardly be noticeable if it weren’t because I know him almost as much as I know Rhys, graces his face. It’s not one of the ones he used to give me, but it wasn’t a bitter one either. He scrubbed a hand down his face then through his hair with a shake of his head as he overlooked the city.

Disbelief—that was what the smile was riddled with. Disbelief and yet surety.

“I see,” he laughs, more to himself than to me. Another sound that mirrored a laugh leaves him. “Of course, of course.”

He doesn’t seem to want to enlighten me. The smile is gone when he turns to me again. In its place is a look so knowing and pitying, so like one the Bone Carver had given me so long ago, and the Suriel who was my friend, that my blood chills. My bones quiver. The shards within me rattle. My head nearly splits in two. I almost don’t want to hear what he’ll say, if he’ll say it at all.

“Tell me,” I demand. His gaze hardens, but he says nothing. My head pulses, urging me to leave. Urging me to shut him out, to not listen to him. I bite back the nausea that sweeps through me. “Tell. Me.”

Tamlin’s grin returns, this time in jest. “You are so like him, I hate myself for not seeing it sooner.” He laughs now, again at himself rather than me. “You sound like him. And that face you’re making! It’s his.”

“I am my own person,” I growl.

“Are you, though?” He tilts his head. “Do you always judge or make decisions based off him?”

My head spasms. “I make my own decisions. I left you, that was my decision.”

“You did, but it doesn’t negate my question. Do you blindly listen to whatever he tells you, Feyre? Have you never questioned whether there was more to anything he tells you?”

Once, the answer came unbidden to my mind. Once, I did. When I’d thought Rhys was the villain in in my story until I learned the truth of him. Until…

Another shard clicks into place. There were only two left. Two that tremble almost as hard as I do. My belly rolls, the baby responding to my turmoil. Or bile rising to my throat, I couldn’t tell anymore. My head hurts, the throb of it knocks against my eyes and clouds my vision.

I’m finished. I don’t want to talk to Tamlin anymore. I don’t want to hear all that he’s throwing at me. He didn’t know. He didn’t understand. Not me and certainly not Rhys. He never did, I suppose.

“You don’t—“

“Oh.”

I didn’t notice the balcony door open. A black haired beauty stands in it, her hazel eyes flicker between me and Tamlin questioningly, but she doesn’t speak those questions. Her gaze lands squarely on Tamlin. She smiles. Softly. Prettily. The birthmark by her eye crinkles. Her dimples poke through her round cheeks. Her soft body curved like an hourglass.

Nothing about her was like me, and it wasn’t until I had the thought that I realized I had been looking for myself in her.

“Lucien is looking for you.”

Tamlin nodded, rising from his seat. The female gives me one last curious look before she skips back inside. He follows.

The question slips out before I have a chance to swallow it. “Who is she? Your new lover?”

He pauses in the doorway. Slowly, he turns to me, giving me an equally slow blink. Under his breath he marvels, “How far did he get to you?”

“Wha-“

“She’s my cousin.”

My face scrunches. “Since have you had a cousin?”

If Tamlin had been shocked before, his whole body slackens in utter astonishment now. And more pity. Pity. Pity. Pity. I want to claw it off his face. “You’ve met her before. Don’t you remember? After the mountain? I introduced you to my friends. We’re not cousins by blood, no, but our mothers were close.”

I vaguely remember meeting them… and not caring to learn their names or faces. I vaguely remember the sliver of jealousy I’d felt about a dark haired female that I easily put out of my mind because at the end of the day, Tamlin had been in my bed. But the memories, any memories of the Spring Court are glazed over. As unclear as my thoughts.

“You know you were never very good at heeding my warnings. Now I understand you never listened to me at all.” Tamlin drops his gaze down to my rounded belly that I clutch in protection and to soothe the twists from both my baby and myself. “It would do you well to remember all that I’ve told you. Maybe you’ll understand.” He nods in parting. “I hope you’re happy, Feyre.”

He leaves me on the balcony with only one shard left to find it’s place.

Mystery fic anon hello again!!

Ooooooo this was so good! Feyre thinking that Tamlin is of course still obsessed with her when he's not 🤭🤭 Please come back with part two!

#mystery fanfic anon

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sukunasweetheart · 3 years

Text

Lullaby for the Past

Office AU Sukuna x fem!reader

Synopsis; Reincarnated as a human, Ryomen Sukuna - the former king of curses - is now just a perpetually tired office worker living in a world free of curses. His dreams are haunted by visions of his past life, despite not actually retaining any of these memories himself. These nightmares have surrounded him since childhood and nothing he does seems to do any help, so he’s given up and has learned to live with the restless nights, the lack of sleep and the moodiness. That is, until a series of unexpected incidents occur with the newly transferred employee - Y/N.

05. Uncertainty

Word count: 2.6k+

Pain. There was nothing but pain spreading throughout her back and stomach. She was completely fine this morning, so why was this hitting her now, in the middle of work? It was like a fire spreading within her, its fumes choking her up - the ache was so prominent it quite literally was making it hard for her to even breathe. The need to lie down was growing, but of course, she was unable to do that in front of all her coworkers. An iron grip on the edge of her desk, she leaned her forehead against her arm that hung off of its surface, bits of sweat beading on the sides of her head.

Sukuna had stopped his own typing to take another sip of his coffee, when he realised the usual keyboard sounds that emanated from Y/N’s area were oddly absent. He shrugged it off as her doing another one of her habitual phone checks, but his concern only grew deeper when this silence began to stretch out further. A few more minutes passed before he decided that he’d finally check up on her. Wheeling himself back a bit, he was about to say something along the lines of “you slackin’ off?” but instead, held his tongue when he caught sight of her hunched over her desk, taking deep breaths in an agonising way.

“Oi, what’s wrong?” he asked with alarm, a gentle hand on her shoulder. She jumped in the slightest bit, and looked at him with eyes that grew in caution. “It’s, uh…that time of the month,” she spoke as quietly as she could, “the cramps are unusually worse today.” Y/N attempted to straighten herself up a bit but her position was still looking quite uncomfortable. This was bad. She needed to suck it up and finish the rest of the day.

Somehow, Y/N had managed to grit her teeth and endure the suffocating pain whilst she finished up her schedule for the day, and was now closely anticipating the end of her working hours. Unbeknownst to her, there had been somebody else beside her who couldn’t help but feel extra mindful, so much so that he kept having to go back a few times, in order to correct his own typing mistakes. He wanted to ask if she needed any water, another cup of coffee, snacks - only for him to stop himself due to how he didn’t wish to make her talk more than she needed to. Being in agony was one thing, having someone pestering you with questions during it was another.

“Anything I can do to help?” he said with a bit of hesitation.

“I’ll be fine, I took some painkillers, so I’m just waiting for its effects to start hitting,” she told him. Sukuna figured she needed some space, so he responded with an ‘alright’ and wheeled himself back to concentrate on his own work. After a bit, her typing seemed to start up once again, relieving him of his concerns, for now.

At the carpark, he got to the door and opened it up before her. As she walked over to him with a slight hobble, she once again thanked him with a quiet, amused laugh and got into the passenger's seat. There wasn’t any form of conversation between them during the ride, just Sukuna’s stealthy glances towards Y/N, who had her attention turned away from him and was staring outside the window. Without saying a word, he connected his phone to his car with the bluetooth feature, and played whatever relaxing song he could find from one of her created playlists.

“I can give you a ride home,” Sukuna offered under a casual facade, in hopes that she would accept.

“That would be...very helpful actually. Thanks,” she said with a weak tone. He silently nodded and when the time came to leave, he did his best to match her slow pace towards the elevator. Y/N didn’t say so explicitly, but she noticed and appreciated his peculiar demonstration of thoughtfulness.

After around thirty minutes had gone by, Y/N was resting at home with a heat pack draped over her stomach. She was lying on her sofa bed, TV turned on in front of her - it was just a shame how she lacked things to snack on to help ebb her pain and sulky mood away. Just then, her phone gave a vibration to indicate the arrival of a text message. Wondering who it could be, she picked it up, only for her expressionless face to change into one of surprise to see that it was Sukuna.

Having arrived at the apartment's underground parking lot, Sukuna turned around in his seat to face her before she could get out of the vehicle.

“Do you need help getting home?” he asked.

“Uhh, no, I think I’ll be okay,” she responded. “Appreciate the offer though.” “Cool. I’ll see you later, then.”

“You’re not going up?” she questioned with a puzzled face.

“Yeah, I have somewhere to drop by.”

“Oh, alright. Have a safe trip.” He watched from his car as she made her way towards the elevator doors, and only began driving once he’d witnessed her walking inside of it.

Sukuna: Check your entrance door.

Y/N sat up, heat pack tumbling from her stomach to her thighs, and gave a look of perplexity at the rather ominous text. She really didn’t feel like getting up at the moment, but her curiosity of what he had prepared for her at the door was stronger. So she got up, did a quick check of herself in the mirror (just in case - you know - he was standing out there or something) and opened up the door. She didn’t know if it was relief or disappointment, or both, but an odd feeling coursed through her mind when Y/N saw that there was nobody standing beyond it, or down the hallway. Instead, she found a plastic bag hung on her doorknob that was filled to the brim with a bunch of things.

The dense bag was taken in by her and placed on her dining table. Opening it up, she realised how the majority of the objects inside were just snacks and chocolate. A helpless giggle escaped her lips as she dug through the rest of the remaining packets, feeling charmed by Sukuna’s rare adorable side. When she got to the bottom of the bag however - she was able to find something that perhaps made her heart skip a little beat. The same snack that she recommended to him on a whim, back when they coincidentally met at the convenience store. Her mouth might’ve shyly curved up in response, exhilarated by the fact that he remembered.

She took the packet and one of the bars of chocolates with her, and sat back down on the sofa bed, immediately pulling her phone up again to text him back. Minutes of severe contemplation later, Y/N could only think of one thing to send him in response.

Sukuna was gradually pacing back and forth along one of his bookshelves, pretending to be in deep musing over which book he’d like to read, or reread, for the night. In reality, his focus was all gathered onto his phone that he’d purposefully left on sound, to watch out for any replies from Y/N. What am I doing? He thought to himself with an annoyed sigh, snapping the book in his hand shut. He was a busy man, no time to be waiting around for a single text-

When the noise for a notification erupted from his phone, he darted towards it within mere seconds. What he saw was a single emoticon, one of a cute character saying ‘thank you!’ on his screen. Desperately fighting off the grin that tried to make an appearance on his face with a hand over his mouth, he put his phone down and sauntered back to his little library.

Weekends were usually meant for catching up on lost sleep (well, trying to) and relaxation for Sukuna, but today, duty called for him at the bookstore that he went to regularly - as they were having a rare sale. He frowned with distaste as there were more people than usual, something he’d expected, but still got him rolling his eyes at. He opted for a quieter area of the store, and along the way, he bumped into someone of familiar frame.

“Sorry, my bad-” Y/N started, her gaze flitting up to look at his face. Upon realising who it was though, her expression went from remorseful to one of friendliness.

“Oh, hey. Fancy seeing you here,” she mimicked. The additional wink made him feel a little giddy, a little weak in the knees.

“Hey,” he repeated, his smirk acting as some form of a defence mechanism. She was holding a bunch of books, around three or four, splayed out across her chest.

“You also here for the sale?” she asked.

“Uh huh,” he responded mindlessly, eyes wandering towards the blurbs of the erotica novels she held in her arms.

Staring at her in awe, he watched as she got them scanned and was out the door in a flash. Turning back around, he eyed the section that Y/N had pointed at and merely frowned with disagreement. Nah, there was no way he’d be into that kind of stuff. Rather, he was feeling slightly dejected about how she’d left him in such a hurry. It wouldn’t hurt to stay behind for a few couple of minutes just to talk, no? He left the area to look for his usual section.

“That’s an interesting taste you’ve got there,” he commented, meaning to tease her.

“Right? You should try one out - they get surprisingly good.” Unfazed, she pointed behind her with a thumb.

“The erotica section is right there.”

“Huh? No, I-”

“Welp, I gotta get going. Want to unpack these treasures ASAP. See you next week!” Y/N then zoomed past him and went through a bunch of other people to get to the register.

He picked the novel up and flipped to a random page in the middle.

When he was finished looking through the non-fiction section, Sukuna was about to head on over to the register when that same area they had met in, caught his attention again somehow.

I guess it doesn’t hurt to be curious… He reassured himself, as he slowly made his way towards it. In search for one of the exact same ones Y/N had been holding, it took him a few minutes of strolling down the aisle to finally find one that he recognised. A few of the women that were in the same section began glancing at Sukuna with curiosity, a subtle thrill rising within them at the thought of such an attractive man enjoying this type of content.

He growls and comes down, kissing and biting my lips. I slide my hands down, gripping his ass, keeping him close, and he thrusts his di-

He closed the book up, immediately. Sukuna stared into space for a moment in bewilderment, only to eventually open it again. Only when he noticed the gazes of the various people around in the area, did he take it with him to get it scanned, in order to continue his reading at home.

“A blind date?” Y/N reiterated those words with uncertainty. In the background, Sukuna was sitting at his desk pretending to be uninterested, despite the twitch in his ears.

“Yeah! You mentioned you were looking for somebody, last time. The guy is a friend of a friend of my boyfriend,” Yui chirped up.

Geez, that’s a mouthful, Y/N thought to herself. She guessed it wouldn’t hurt to try it out.

Sukuna clicked his tongue as a dull ache ran through his chest at the sound of them laughing together, as Yui went through a few pictures on her phone. Unable to understand why he was feeling so annoyed, he simply sped up the bouncing of his leg underneath the desk.

“The girl who was supposed to be there suddenly cancelled, saying she couldn’t come.”

“I see… Well, I wouldn’t mind taking her place,” Y/N told her.

“Are you sure? I thought you and Sukuna...you know...were having a little thing together,” she asked cheekily, in a hushed whisper.

“Oh- uh...no. We’re just friends.” Y/N looked away from her and began to play with her own fingers nervously.

“If you say so. I’ll show you a picture of him right now and send you the details later,” Yui grinned at her.

This went unnoticed by him, but Y/N’s eyes were in fact, darting towards Sukuna every now and then, with subtle hope ringing within her mind. Hope for what? She didn’t know. But she was almost sure that he had definitely heard their conversation, if not part of it.

It had become a common occurrence for Sukuna to give Y/N a ride home after work nowadays, since they lived in the same place anyway. He’d always offer, and she’d always accept it, with the excuse of being able to save money from the bus fare. Casual conversation would arise between them, keeping any awkward silences at bay. Today, nothing had changed from this routine.

The date was to be tomorrow, on Saturday. It was on a bit of a short notice, but Y/N doubted there would be any major issues with it. Figuring out what to wear would be a hassle, but she reckoned she’d make it through somehow.

The usual ding echoed as the elevator stopped at her level.

“See you on Monday. Thanks for the ride, as usual,” she said, turning to face him.

“Welcome,” he replied calmly. She walked out and waved at him as the entrance began to slide shut. Watching as she did this, something within him seemed to snap, provoking him to dart his hand out, between the closing doors. Startled by the sudden action, she remained still as she observed them open up again, and he stepped not quite out of the elevator, but also not really inside of it either. His hand was still pressed up against its side, preventing it from sliding shut on his body.

“...What’s wrong?” she said, eyes wide with confusion.

“Hey. About the blind date…” Sukuna started. He had no idea where he was going with this. The words that were meant to come out after that disappeared when he met eyes with her perplexed ones. He wanted to tell her to not go. But for what reason? Was he crossing a line here?

“Yeah? What about it?” Y/N questioned, heart rate speeding up with the feeling of something similar to anticipation. So he had been listening.

Sukuna let out a loud sigh and leaned the back of his head against the wall of the elevator after the entrance was now closed up. Fucking great. Probably just weirded her out now.

Any further dialogue was now lodged in his throat as he hesitated, dragging out the heavy silence between them further. In the end, he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and clicked his tongue.

“No, ’s nothing. Sorry for holding you back,” he spoke with a low voice, withdrawing himself away from the doors.

“O-Oh. Okay. Bye,” she said. The tension was lifted, but her heart was still beating erratically.

The rest of Y/N’s evening was spent restlessly, as she had her worries for tomorrow’s date, muddled up along with what Sukuna could have possibly wanted from her during that moment.

Masterlist

The tiny snippet in the bookstore scene is from an actual erotica novel - Punk 57 by Penelope Douglas

#lullaby for the past #sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #sukuna x y/n #jjk sukuna #if youre seeing this twice pls forgive me #the post wasnt showing in the tags :(

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elena-reina · 3 years

Text

Hormones - Draco Malfoy x Reader

Req: Hii I have a Draco fluff request where the reader talks about her period for the first time to Draco so he tries to learn more about it and get her pads and chocolate and stuff to keep in his dorm for her. Thxx! - Anon

Warnings: n/a

A/N: I did a little different take on it, but same concept. Lemme know what you think!

“Fuck fuck FUCK!”

Ginny and Hermione’s head whipped around swiftly. Ginny tilted her head whilst Hermione grabbed her wand in immediate defense. You had caught the attention of a few other students around, but you didn't care at that moment.

Sitting in the library, you were catching up on studying with your friends when you had been feeling uncomfortable for a while.

Your stomach began to twist and knot into a confining ache. You've dismissed yourself multiple times thinking it was just horrible bowel movements, or simply not eating enough at breakfast but to no avail, that wasn't the case.

Every now and then you would need to take a breather due to the fact that it felt like the wind nearly got knocked out of you. Ginny had even accidentally elbowed you in your breast resulting in a yelp and shoving her away.

It wasn't until you were looking for one of your papers to study when you noticed you were sitting on it. Shifting to the side to pick it up, you observed a crimson stain on it, resulting in all your concerns being answered.

"Bloody hell, Y/N, what's wrong?" Hermione gasped.

"You could say that again," you mumbled, picking up your robe and wrapping it tightly around your waist.

They looked at each other confused. Your face flushed with embarrassment as you closed your eyes for a brief moment before speaking.

"..I've just gotten my period."

"Do you need a tampon?" Ginny began, sitting up straighter.

"A pad?" Hermione alternated, raising her eyebrow.

"Painkillers?"

"A blanket?"

"A hug?"

You halted your hands up indicating for them to stop. "I'm alright, I've got a few tampons left I think... I'll pick some up at the store later," you dismissed, "I guess this is my cue to go for today. I'll catch up with you guys later."

They nodded in agreement telling you that if you needed anything to let them know.

Leaving it at that, you waved goodbye and made your way down the corridors heading to the nearest bathroom. The halls were pretty empty thankfully, but you couldn't help but still feel embarrassed that you've stained your skirt. All you wanted to do was get out of your clothes, take a bath, and relax in your dorm.

Turning around a corner, you nearly stumbled into your favorite Slytherin. You held onto his arms for support as a cramp hit you, making you close your eyes for just a brief second to compose yourself. His hard silver eyes met yours and immediately softened.

"Where're you headed off to in such a hurry? Are you alright?" Draco asked, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and drew you into a quick embrace. Pulling away, you left some space in between the two of you.

As much as you would love to drop everything and stay there with him, the crippling agony of your period dripping down your leg at any given time wasn't something you were going to risk. Once your flow started, it was heavy.

"I've just really got to use the bathroom is all if you don't mind excusing me," you apologized for the short explanation, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before hurrying past him.

Leaving Draco there, he watched your figure hurry down the hall with no chance of hearing his response. Nonchalantly, he shrugged it off. Sometimes he never knows what actually goes through your head and instead lets you explain it later on.

"Well alright then," he mumbled to himself, carrying on with his day.

~*~

You’ve nearly avoided Draco all day, not that you intended to, you were busy with, well, lady issues. During the moments when he would catch glimpses of you across the yards or throughout Hogwarts, you would always rushing to somewhere else.

You've been going back and forth in search of your menstrual products because you were down to just a few tampons left. With it only being just the beginning of your period, you were going to need hell of a lot more than that.

Your cramps, although already uncomfortable, were going to kick in stronger the more time passes. So, you want to hurry and get everything before you become too immobilized to do anything.

Eventually you exhausted yourself and headed back to your dorm, deciding that you were just going to attempt again tomorrow. if that was even possible.

Draco had thought he did something wrong. The whole day he’s been racking his brain as to what he could have possibly done. Also not to mention that no one would tell him about your whereabouts when you weren’t in his line of sight.

Desperate to talk to you, he had gone to Hermione to pry any information out of her. She refused to talk to Draco telling him that you were simply 'busy.' Ginny only shrugged her shoulders and wouldn’t give him the time of day.

He wasn't satisfied with that answer and tried every other friend of yours he could think of; including Harry Potter as well. No one gave him helpful answers or didn't know where you were either. Trying to take matters into his own hands, he stormed up to your dorm room and harshly knocked on the door.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there!” he shouted impatiently.

He actually had no idea if you were in there or not. However, he decided that if you weren't there, he was just going to sit and wait on your bed until you came in.

Turning the door handle, he stomped his way inside but came to a halt. Tangled up under the bedsheets laid your sleeping figure. Draco’s once tense body relaxed and quietly shut the door behind him trying to not make too much noise.

He took long stride towards you and sat on the edge of your bed right next to you. He brought his hand up to brush the loose strands of hair out of your face and cupped your cheek, lightly rubbing his thumb across it.

Stirring a little bit, your eyes fluttered open.

“Mmm Draco,” you groggily mumbled quitely, rubbing the crust out of your eyes, “What’re you doing here?”

“I haven’t seen you all day,” he spoke softly, “Are you avoiding me?”

He tried to hide the hurt in his voice however you caught on quickly, sitting up on your elbows to get a better look at him. His eyebrows were creased as he awaited your answer.

“Of course not, why would you think that?”

He turned his head to look to the side for a brief second before turning back to look at you. “I don’t know.. I just thought-”

You grabbed his tie and yanked him down so his mouth was inches from yours. Pressing a warm kiss to his lips, reassuring him nothing was wrong.

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way, I’m just going through my lady problems at the moment,” you apologized. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking at you curously.

“Lady problems?” he questioned.

You darted your eyes from side to side, confused on what he was confused about. Slowly nodding your head, you sucked in a breath as another wave of cramps came rolling out. He noticed your discomfort and sat up straight.

“What lady problems? Did you get detention because that’s a student problem.”

You sucked in your lips to stiffle back a laugh. This time you sat up with your back resting against the headboard, making more room for him to scoot closer.

Does he really not know?

“Draco, my love... my period came,” you chuckled, giving him a playful shove on his hip.

“Okay..?” he uttered dumbfoundedly, “Just push it all out and you’ll be okay for the remainder of the day.”

Did he really just say that.

“Get out,” you huffed and laid back down, turning over so that your back was to him. Normally you would have the time to dilly-dally through Draco’s insensitive comments, but you did not have the patience for it today. Your hormones were all out of wack and you were afraid you were going to blurt something you don’t mean to say.

You’ve gotten your period around Draco before, but he’s never really noticed. Some days are worst than others and you tried your best to conceal it most of the time.

“C’mon, Y/N,” Draco scoffed, “It can’t be that bad, you’re being dramatic.”

You really wanted to reach for his balls at that moment and rip them out. Let’s see just how dramatic you could get when his baby-makers are being crushed and thrown out the window.

“Draco, you have three seconds to get the hell out of my room before I roundhouse kick you in your dick,” you threatened, not bothering to turn around. He was taken back by your sudden violence and stood up, offended.

"You honestly need to relax," he grumbled, turning to leave the room without a second thought.

"Relax? You want me to relax?!” you shouted angrilly, sitting up this time to look him dead in the eyes, “Have you any idea what I go through on my period! I'm already emotional as is and you’re not helping. I’m bleeding out of my literal vagina, my excrutiating cramps are stabbing me over and over again, not just in my uterus, but also my back! My spine! My damn ass! And doooon’t even get me started on the tenderness of my breasts, it’s not the good kind. I can barely sleep without being woken up in pain and not to mention I am basically out of all my damn tampons! I’m going to become a bloody crimescene at any given moment! Hell I can barely smell anything without wanting to violently regurgiatate whatever is in my stomach and you have the nerve to tell me to relax?!”

Your chest was heaving up and down from your rant as Draco cautiously walked back over to you. Soon enough, your anger turned into sadness and you fought back the urge of crying.

All your emotions were heightened and you just wanted to feel cared for. He wasn’t expecting that and immedately felt bad for making you feel worse than you already do.

“M’sorry,” he apologized and wrapped his arms around you. Draco didn’t know much about menstruation, but from what you were telling him, it sounded like literal hell. At first you stubbornly tried fighting him away from you, but exhaustedly gave in.

He wanted to make you feel as comfortable as possible, so he laid with you in your bed until he felt your soft snores leaving your nose. Once you fell asleep, he carefully slipped out of your hold and made his way to leave the room to run a few errands.

~*~

“Love.. Y/N wake up.”

Draco was gently shaking your shoulder trying to get you to wake up. Opening your eyes, you adjusted to the darker atmosphere of the room.

Wait a second, this wasn’t your room. You sat up and looked around. You were in Draco’s dorm, in his bed. But when did you get here?

He noticed the confusion on your face and interjected.

“I carried you here, I thought you would be more comfortable,” he muttered, “But look.”

He bent down to pick a bag up before sliding under the blanket next to you. He dumped all the contents in the bag along your lap as you let out a gasp. You weren’t expecting so many things to come out.

Laying across your lap was boxes of tampons, pads, panty-liners, a heating pad, water, painkillers, endless amounts of snacks including candy, chocolate, chips, and even a necklace. The list could go on forever.

Your mouth hung open to form words, but you struggled.

“Draco.. I, this is.. wow. Okay, uhm, did you buy the whole store?” you managed to get out. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, with a nervous smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

He turned to the side and reached to grab another bag and a bouquet of flowers. Holding the bouquet of flowers out for you, you grabbed them. You loved the gesture, but this was too much. You couldn’t help but feel guilty that he went through all this trouble just for you.

“Draco-”

He stopped you to speak and placed the flowers in your hands.

“That bag is full of everything you need, or at least I hope so, for if and when you decide to go back to your dorm and this bag is for me to keep here in my dorm for whenever you need it. I’ve gotten nearly everything I could to make up for being such a dick. These flowers and jewlery are just a small gift to show you my appreciation. I don’t want to add more stress to you and m’sorry. Whatever it is you need, just tell me and I’ll right on it.”

Tears pricked in your eyes as you stared at him.

“Don’t cry, is it something I said?” he frowned. You shook your head, wiping under your eyes and sniffling.

“Just the hormones, thank you. I love you so much,” you gushed pulling him in for a much needed kiss and cuddled into him. He protectively wrapped his arms around you, and lulled you back to sleep, whispering words of affirmations.

“I’ll always be here for you,” he whispered and placed a loving kiss on the top of your head.

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foodieforthoughts · 4 years

Note

Hello love! I have this scenario stuck in my head:

Walter hurts his right shoulder quite badly when solving a case (or slipping on ice 🤔)which leaves him imobile to his dominant arm. Being the stubborn man he is, he releases himself from the hospital and back at home has to release that he alone struggles with the simplest tasks. Due to the time of night or a snowstorm outside the only one left to ask for help is that new annoying neighbour (there's the trope I guess)... might lead to a number of embaressing (and hot?) situations...

Wherever that came from... never mind my weird brain 🙈... does that maybe, possibly strike your muse?

Omg. 🤭 Thank you for the request @omgkatinka I tried to make it fluffy and funny, but I'm in a Walter mood lately and it did end up with a hint of smut, so here it goes.

Warnings: slight description of shoulder injury, a little bit of angst, fluff, description of male masturbation

*divider by @firefly-graphics

Title: Helping hand

Walter groaned when he turned on his side, half asleep and in a lot of pain. His shoulder throbbed like a thousand needles pricked him at the same time, shooting a blinding pain up to his fingers.

"Fuck!" He cursed at himself, rolling onto his back and trying to breathe through his agony. He clutched his sore shoulder with his hand, gently soothing the bandages and blinking through the tears that had sprung at the corners of his eyes.

Walter had hurt his shoulder while on a mission to catch hold of a guy involved in human trafficking. They had chased the culprit through the abandoned factory, barely losing him through the maze of metal staircases when Walter had lunged at the man, tackling him to the floor. But the rusty old work bridge had crumbled under the force, bringing both men crashing down to the ground with metal pieces and debris. Luckily for them they weren't harmed in a life threatening manner, but Walter's shoulder had dislocated, resulting in a torn labrum requiring surgery.

"Fuck this shit." Walter had told himself while lying in his hospital bed on the third day post surgery, pressing the call button for the nurse. He had gruffly told the pale, scared woman that he wanted to go home and he was feeling fine. After arguing with the doctor about his health, Walter had self discharged himself against medical advice.

He thought he had made a wise choice coming home, but he knew he was stupid to think he could make it on his own.

Sitting up on the bed and grabbing the strap of the arm sling, Walter groaned. With his dominant hand rendered useless for the time being, Walter had a lot of trouble with his daily activities. Faye and Angie were in California visiting her parents, leaving him no one to call for help for the past weeks.

He made his way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water when he saw the heavy blanket of snow outside. Checking his watch, he gathered it was only four pm and yet it was almost dark with snow still falling steadily. Walter had taken his pain meds and a sleeping pill when he had awoken in the middle of the night, and had effectively knocked himself out for a good twelve hour sleep. With that realization, his stomach growled indicating his missed meals for the day.

Looking around at the kitchen, Walter groaned when he saw the empty takeout boxes and the overflowing trash can. Injury had left him disorganised, making him live like a junkie. He couldn't even remember the last time he had taken a decent shower, sniffing the air as he could smell his own body odour. He was about to grab a trash bag from the counter and try to clean, when his doorbell rang.

Walter groaned, again. He had an inkling it was her. His chirpy neighbor who was the only one who showed up to help him every other day. She was annoying in the beginning, trying to start up conversations when all he wanted to do was sulk. But he had warmed up to her, still keeping her at an arm's length, but allowing her to assist him from time to time. When he opened the front door, there she was, looking adorable covered in cozy woollen attire from head to toe, a cute beanie over her hair, carrying a big lunch box in her gloved hands. She smiled at him, shivering with the cold winds until he moved to the side to let her in.

You could never believe how intimidating Walter had seemed to you only a couple of weeks ago. He would always throw a curt nod at you when you would greet him from your door if you ever happened to cross paths, never smiling or staying for a chat. You had gathered from the other neighbors that he was a cop, Detective Walter Marshall, kind of a loner and always grumpy. There was no denying your attraction to him, his scruffy beard and thick curls always left your fingers itching to touch them, with his accent being a major plus point. But he would never give you a chance to strike up a decent conversation.

It was all fun and games, you liked the chase, even if you were the one doing all the chasing. Seemed like a conquest for you but when his car was missing from his parking spot for days on end, you began worrying about him. Then one fine day, you spotted him out in the curb, trying to open the trash bin with one hand while the other was hanging in a sling. You had walked up to him, out of concern when Walter had turned around to go back inside slipping on the ice, only for you to grab a hold of him trying to break his fall but instead tumbling to the cold ground with him on top of you. He had apologized profusely, wincing in pain as he moved and letting you help him stand up.

From that day onwards, you always made it a point to stop by his house atleast once. It helped that Walter never complained.

"I had made lasagna. Did you have lunch?" You asked, taking off your beanie to hang on the hook and leaving your boots by the door. You felt Walter's looming figure follow you as you made your way to the kitchen. Taking in the surrounding, you nodded to yourself, your question answered without Walter having to utter a word. "Very well, why don't you sit at the table and I'll serve you the food?"

You tried to grab clean plates and spoons, frowning at the dirty dishes from last night, but you didn't blame him. It was only so much he could do with one hand.

"Did you have a good night's sleep?" You asked, trying to strike up a conversation with the Detective.

"No. I took sleeping pills."

Placing the plate of food in front of him, you narrowed your eyes at him. "Don't get too attached to those meds though." You handed him the spoon and fork, before getting to clean his kitchen.

"You don't have to do that." Walter protested from his place at the table, almost about to stand up. "I was about to clean around the house."

"With one hand? Come on, Detective Walter, you know better than that. And I don't mind, I was holed up at my house since morning anyway, this atleast gives me a chance to do something." You winked at him, grabbing the empty bottles of water and shoving them in the trash bag. By the time Walter had finished his meal, you had cleaned the kitchen with only the dishes to spare.

"Let me get those." Walter tried to reach for the soap but you were fast enough to grab it first.

"Go rest, I can handle this." You nudged him playfully with your hip. You could not believe your eyes when you saw Walter smile. "Wow! Look at that! I am being graced with a smile."

Rolling his eyes at you, Walter stayed put at his place, handing you the plates one by one. You insisted for him to rest, but he denied each of your requests. You were just about done loading up the dishes in the dishwasher when your phone rang from it's place in the purse that was hanging on the hook.

"I'll put them in the rack, go." Walter assured you with another smile. You nodded at him, handing the gloves and walking out the kitchen. You were texting back your mom, when you heard the Detective cuss loudly, followed by falling and breaking of plates. You hurried inside to find Walter drenched with soapy water and the broken pieces of ceramic and glass on the floor.

"I'm done with this!" He shouted, trying to pry open the velcro of his sling in anger. The edge of his shirt dripped water on the floor with a stream travelling down from the front of his pants.

"Hey, hey." You rushed to him, carefully maneuvering away from the plates, and caught hold of his hands. "It's okay. It happens. Why don't you go change and I'll clean here." You didn't back down when he stared at you, not moving and not giving up. But a silent moment passed and he left for his bedroom without a word.

You walked towards Walter’s bedroom, the silence of the house only disturbed by the whistling winds of the oncoming storm outside. It was late in the night when you had gotten the chance to pay the ailing Detective a visit. With freshly baked cookies in a box, you had knocked at his door only to be left standing out in the cold. He had handed you a spare key for emergencies as the storm warning approached which you never used until today.

When you reached the door to his bedroom, you stopped in your tracks hearing muffled grunts from the other side. The door was slightly cracked open, faint light seeping out to the the hallway. You peered through the gap only to gape at the sight.

The other day when Walter had spilled water over his front and gone to change, you had followed him after hearing him cursing at himself. He had a hard time taking off the wet clothes, making him angrier by the minute. You had helped him then, only to be left mesmerized by his body as your nimble fingers had brushed over his skin.

Walter had his eyes closed, his arm in the sling and resting on his naked chest and pillows with a sheet covering his lower half. His other hand was under the cover, moving up and down as he pleasured himself. You felt your cheeks warm, spreading down to your chest and the tip of your ears as you watched him in his private moment, wanting to turn and run away but failing to do so.

You weren't going to ask him, but you could swear a long moment of sparks had passed between the two of you. Your dreams now featured vivid fantasies with Walter, leaving you in a daze for the rest of the day.

As much as you wanted to stare at his heaving chest, listen to his melodious moans and trace his sweat sheened face with your gaze; this felt like a rude invasion of privacy. You were about to turn on your heels when you heard the whisper of your name rolling out of his lips. Whipping your head to see if you had been caught red handed, you were left baffled to find Walter's eyes closed, unaware of your presence and repeating your name like a mantra while he pumped his length.

You had no idea what got into you, but the urge to be with the man you had been lusting over was so strong, you pushed the door open with heated cheeks and a trembling core. Walter's eyes shot open, widening as he took in your presence, scrambling to hide himself underneath the sheets.

"Wh-what are you-?" He stammered, a rosy pink tint appearing on his flushed skin.

You did not answer him, choosing to close the distance between the two of you instead. You crouched down next to his side of the bed, placing your hand on his scruffy cheek. His pupils were blown wide, lips parted as he struggled to regain his breath and rendered speechless at the debacle. You waited for him to object to your advances, watching as he wet his lips with his tongue before leaning to kiss him. Walter remained frozen for a long second, until he moved his lips along with yours.

Breaking away from the kiss, you smiled at him, a hand creeping to his member that twitched in response. "Do you need a hand?" You asked, smirking as Walter could only nod before you pulled the sheet away from his body.

#ask foodie #walter marshall #Walter marshall fanfic #walter marshall x reader #walter marshall x you #walter marshall nomis #nomis #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill #requests

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mammonshuman92 · 3 years

Text

- It Takes Two - Pt.3

(Mammon x GN!MC)

Warnings: Angst to fluff, mentions of drunkenness and being taken advantage of, implied seggs Notes: S/N = succubus name (too lazy to come up with one and that hoe don’t matter lol) also, if it’s garbage I’m sorry lol thanks for reading!!

“Absolutely not.” Satan deadpanned, arms crossed as he scowled at his brother.

“C’mon, Satan. This is important!” He insisted, unwavering under his younger brother’s glare as they bickered back and forth in the fourth born’s doorway.

After seeing you in the kitchen and finally being able to talk to you, to simply be near you, for the first time in over a week, he was too excited to fall back asleep. Instead, he used that time to come up with the brilliant plan he was currently rushing around to execute. If Satan would just cooperate, that is.

“Look, I just need to borrow it, okay? Just for today, then I’ll give it back.”

“Do you remember what happened last time a bangle like this was used in this house?”

Mammon shuddered lightly at the memory of the punishment he and Satan had received for putting the last truth bangle on Lucifer, just for him to destroy it in a matter of seconds.

“I’ll never forget it.” He promised, expression going blank as he unwillingly reminisced. He shook his head lightly, as if clearing his thoughts and coming back to the current mission at hand, “Doesn’t matter though, I for real need to borrow it.”

“No.” The blonde demon stated once more, attempting to close the door on his brother. Mammon put his foot in the doorway and placed a hand on the door. Satan sighed, becoming quite irritated. It quickly dissipated upon seeing his brother's expression.

Naturally, they all knew what was going on. At this point, who didn’t? But to see his brother now, the shell of the man he usually is, a desperation in his eyes he’s never seen before, was a little alarming to be honest. And you, seeing the way you’d been handling everything was far more painful to watch; for all of them. Because of this knowledge, and the level of agony that can be read in one’s eyes; Satan relented.

He sighed heavily and opened the door all the way, stepping aside and motioning for his brother to come in.

“Just so we’re clear, I’m doing this for MC.” He clarified.

It’s not as if he was lying, but he’d rather spend an entire day bonding with Lucifer than admit he misses the old Mammon.

Mammon was fidgety the entire day as he impatiently awaited for the perfect opportunity to set everything in motion, just as he’d so ingeniously planned. It would absolutely prove to you that he’s telling the truth, put all the rumors that have been circulating to rest, and get the succubus to confess to her part in all of it. All he had to do was wait until his last class of the day, Seductive Speechcraft; the only class he shared with you and the succubus both.

You had an oral assignment due today and had to pair up randomly, stand at the front of the class and seduce your partner. He hadn’t been too concerned about the project because well, he had you. It’s not like he hasn’t seduced you before, and vice versa. Not to mention that no one else would dare pick you as a partner since it was a well known fact that the two of you are together. ...Were together.

Thinking of your relationship in the past tense made his heart ache.

He was practically bouncing in his seat with how restless he’d become. You were here in this class, just a few tables behind his. He tried to casually turn back and steal a few glances of you, but every time he did, you looked away. The permanent red rings that seemed to adorn your eyes now were like a knife to the gut.

His plan had to work. It had to. He couldn’t go on much longer, knowing the kind of pain you’re in. The pain he caused.

She caused.

“Mammon.” The professor called, gesturing for him to come to the front. He jumped up from his seat, nearly running to the front.

This is it. It’s time to get MC back.

“S/N.”

The room erupted in whispers, everyone turning to look at you. You sank down in your chair slightly, feeling as heat flooded your face. Embarrassment, anger, pain and probably a dozen more emotions surged through you. Asmo, who was sitting next to you, reached out and placed his hand on your arm that was resting on the table.

How does this count as proving his innocence? I should’ve known better. I’m such an idiot..

She stood from her seat slowly, turning back to look at you, a smug smile on her dumb face. You swallowed hard, the stinging in your eyes a warning of the tears that were to come. A few colorful words quietly slipped past Asmos’s lips as he gently squeezed your arm, giving you a sorrowful look.

She pranced to the front happily, Mammon’s face mirroring hers, making your stomach churn harshly.

If I lie and say I’m going to the bathroom, I wonder if I can sneak off to the HOL...

The professor nodded to them, signaling they could begin whenever they were ready. Mammon nodded, reaching into his pocket as he turned back toward the succubus. He fished out a bracelet of some kind. He gently grabbed her hand and slipped the bangle on her wrist. She giggled and looked at it in awe. You could feel the bile rising in your throat, as the hole in your chest grew, making you certain it was visible on the outside.

“I got ya this unique bangle. I hope it brings ya as much happiness as it will for me.” Her brows furrowed slightly at his words, unsure of what he was implying. She shook it off quickly, turning her heart eyes back to him.

“When I first saw ya, I thought you were insanely beautiful and I knew I had to make you mine.” He began.

“It didn’t take long for you to win me over, using your charm and pretty words to reel me in.” He said, smiling at her. Her face was flushed as she soaked up the words that were tearing you apart.

Mammon dropped the hand that had still been holding hers from when he slipped the bracelet on, “But, that’s all it was, huh? Charm and pretty words.” Your ears perked up at the slight change in his tone.

“What?” She questioned, a look of confusion replacing her infatuated one.

“You only wanted me for what ya could get outta me. Grimm, clothes, jewelry. When I realized that, I broke it off.”

“How is this considered seducing?” She griped, crossing her arms over her chest, lips contorting into a pout.

“Be patient, the best part is coming up.” He beamed at her.

“Where was I? Oh, right!” He began, turning his gaze on you, the class following suit. You sank a little further into your chair.

“Fast forward a few hundred years and now MC and me are together and couldn't be happier. Like, I’ve never been so happy in my entire life. But, for some reason you hated that, huh?” She glared at him through narrowed eyes. “Yes, I did.”

She gasped, throwing a hand up to cover her mouth; shocked by her own words.

“Why?” He pressed.

“Because MC has become so popular. Like, they’re just a stupid human. What’s so great about them that they get the attention of every high ranking demon in all of the Devildom?” She blurted out, eyes filling with horror as she realized she couldn’t stop the words, the truth, from spilling out like word vomit.

Whispers could be heard once more throughout the room, eyes darting back and forth between you and them.

“Is that why ya confronted MC after school last week?” He continued.

“Yeah. I wanted to hurt their feelings, knock them down a peg. Let them know that they aren’t that special just because they have what I had first.” She gasped again, shocked by how easily she was spilling her guts.

“What is going on?!” She hissed at him as she nervously looked around the room at their fellow demons, and you, staring at her.

The corner of his mouth pulled up slightly, “Oh, did I forget to mention that that bangle makes the person wearin’ it only speak the truth? Must’a slipped my mind.” He scoffed lightly, tapping his forehead a few times.

Oh my Diavolo.. the truth bangle..

Having remembered when you and Levi borrowed it from Satan to put on Mammon because of that game of Levi’s you got stuck in, you were fairly certain you knew where this was going. A small feeling of hope blossomed in your stomach.

With eyes as big as saucers, she desperately clawed at the bangle like some feral animal caught in a trap.

“Only the person who put it on can take it off.” He informed her, another smirk on his face.

Her head snapped up to look at Mammon, who was already staring at her. He leaned in, his words only meant for her ears.

“Time to pay for what ya did.” He whispered venomously, causing her to recoil slightly.

“Movin’ on.” He leaned up quickly, shooting you a glance before continuing. A look you’d seen many times before.

That was his ‘I have an ace up my sleeve’ look.. He’s definitely up to something. You thought to yourself.

“Let’s talk about last week at the club. Tell us what happened.” He said, walking the floor around her. The way he was talking to her was as if he were a talk show host trying to pull the latest tea out of his guest.

“I went with some friends, but decided to snoop in the VIP lounges to see if I could flirt my way into some free drinks. And I found you in one of the lounges, clearly drunk off your ass. Oh, and you were whining about that stupid human.” She rolled her eyes. The look on Mammon’s face, the bubbling anger, didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Okay, I’m gonna have to stop you for a moment. I don’t really see how this fits into Seductive Speechcraft.” The professor chimed in.

“It’s gettin’ there, I promise.” Mammon assured him. The professor eyed him curiously, then nodded.

“Alright, so after ya found me in the VIP lounge, what happened next? Tell us everythin’.”

She shook her head wildly from side to side in protest of continuing, knowing she would be doomed if the truth got out, but the bangles magic was too strong.

“I tried talking to you, but you kept being an ass, once again, whining about the human.” She scoffed, “ Then, I sat down next to you and started flirting with you, whispering in your ear and stuff, then you jumped up. But, you got really lightheaded from the quick movement and sat down again. You were very, very intoxicated.” She explained, panting; becoming physically exhausted as she tried to fight the bracelets magic.

So far everything is just as he said. Which means the next part is..

Sweat beaded on her forehead and her face paled as the words that revealed her for what she was started to come out.

“I thought that since you were so wasted you’d give in to me, so I climbed into your lap. We started making out and it was getting pretty hot, pretty fast, but then you kept saying their name over and over and over. So I went along with it. You were so wasted you didn’t know what was going on, you were going to ruin me on that couch, thinking I was them and I wasn’t going to stop you. You were almost mine again, but before anything good happened the human and Asmodeus walked in and ruined everything.”

She clapped her hands over her mouth as tears began welling up in her eyes. Everyone in the room was staring at her wide eyed and whispering. D.D.D. 's all over the room were snapping pictures and recording video of the chaos. She was ruined.

Mammon quickly grabbed her hand and slipped the bracelet off her wrist. The succubus ran from the room red faced and in tears after outing herself as a jealousy fueled, manipulative predator.

You were shell shocked.

Everything was true. Every bit of it. He didn’t betray you, break your heart. Even completely out of it, all he thought about was you..

You’ve spent the entirety of the last seven days believing the one person you’d fully trusted with your heart, the only person you’ve ever loved so much that they just felt like home, had completely stabbed you in the back and broke your heart.

But he was taken advantage of when he was in a bad way, and he was innocent.

“So… you’re not going to do a Seductive Speechcraft presentation? Because although it was entertaining, your little show doesn’t count.” The professor interrupted the commotion, looking at Mammon expectantly.

Mammon turned to you and motioned for you to come to him. Like the love struck fool you were, you obliged; eagerly rushing to the front of the class. He reached for your hand as soon as you came to him, cradling it softly in his with misty eyes as he looked at you.

“Mammon, I-” You began but was quickly interrupted when he put his finger to your lips, shushing you.

“Hang on, MC. I got somethin’ I really need to tell ya, okay?” His expression was serious yet soft.

“You are the most important thing to me in all the realms. I don’t care that you’re a human and I’m a demon. That don’t matter to me. I’ve never been happier in all the millenia I’ve been around.” His bottomless blue eyes bore into yours as he fiddled with your fingers nervously.

“I swore to ya that I’d never do anythin’ to hurt ya, and I meant it MC. I didn’t want her, and I still don’t. You’re the only thing I ever want for the rest of my life. I love ya, MC. And I’ll spend every day provin’ it to ya.”

With tears streaming down your face you threw your arms around his neck, smashing your lips to his hungrily. His arms wrapped around you tightly, holding you as close as possible as your lips moved together desperately.

“Although it was odd and took you entirely too long, I guess I’ll give it a B+. ..Ok, that’s enough, break it up. Hey! Do I need to get a hose?”

Devilgram was quickly flooded with pictures and videos of S/N’s multiple, embarrassing confessions, effectively putting to rest all the rumors that had been circulating as of late.

After being scolded heavily by the professor and even more so by Lucifer for your very public display of affection, the two of you locked yourselves in his bedroom.

“Thankfully Satan let you borrow that bangle.” You were sitting up against his headboard while his head rested in your lap facing your belly, arms wrapped around you snugly refusing to move even a centimeter.

“Mhmm.” He hummed sleepily as you carded your fingers through his hair, ever so slightly scratching his scalp with every pass. It’s the most relaxed he’s been in what feels like eternity.

“Probably made spilling your guts in front of everyone a little easier, too.” You teased lightly in regards to his tsundere tendencies.

“I wasn’t wearin’ the bangle.” He stated, matter-of-fact.

“What?” Your hand paused in his hair.

“Ya talkin’ about all the stuff I said to ya back there? Yeah, I wasn’t wearin’ the bangle. I don’t need to be forced to tell ya how much you mean to me. Not anymore.” He pulled you down onto the bed, causing an outburst of giggles from you, until he was hovering directly above you. His hand rested softly against the side of your face, his thumb tenderly stroking your cheek; his sapphire eyes overflowing with love and adoration.

“Since the first time ya smiled at me, the first time ya said my name; Hell, even from the second I saw ya, it’s only been you. I would go to the ends of time or destroy an entire realm single handed, if it means you’ll always be mine; if you’ll always love me and stay by my side. Till my heart stops, it’s yours.”

Feather light fingertips trailed down the side of your face to your jawline. His thumb reached up to wipe away a lone tear that you let slip at his words, as he wrapped his arm underneath your body, pulling you to him until you were completely flush to his body. His lips met yours softly, lovingly; sending electricity through your veins.

The rest of the afternoon, and part of the next day, was spent making up for lost time.

And, as for what happened to S/N, aside from being publicly humiliated with her reputation in shambles, as it should be; let’s just say you know a certain book worm of a demon who loves curses and hexes, especially minorly inconveniencing ones, that was willing to teach you a few new things.

Who knows? Maybe she will enjoy finding crumbs in every pair of shoes or socks she will ever wear.

- fin -

~ taglist ~

@harujkookie

@snxpe-lxve-blog

@ithinkimdekubutreallyimdenki

@maybe-nott

@bandaged-despair

@bokuto7stan

@aliackerman

@lebetha

#obey me!#obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me angst #mammon #mammon x mc #mammon x gnmc #gender neutral #trigger warning

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nanasparadise · 3 years

Text

“Imprisonment” Yan!Jolyne x female reader

This blog was in dire need of some wlw content. In that sense, I hope you had a happy pride month and enjoy this piece!

Summary: You are the target of many inmates in Green Dolphin. That changes when Jolyne becomes your cellmate, for the better or worse.

TW: toxic relationship, prison, bullying, violence, insults, threats, slight gore (ear mutilation), noncon kiss, allusions to NSFW, MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY/MINORS DNI

Word count: 2853

I do not condone any yandere behaviour in real life.

„Get your ass moving, girl!”

You truly hated it here. A day spent at Green Dolphin felt like being ten years in hell. The queue in the prison cafeteria moved forward quickly, since everyone got the same horrible food. As you hadn’t reacted fast enough, you’d received rude comments. At this point, you didn’t care about the insults anymore. You were used to them, you had no affiliation with anyone here, meaning the other inmates saw you as fair game. In addition to your nature as a pushover, you weren’t surprised to be the target of many prisoner’s sadistic streak.

You took your tray containing your lunch – a portion of rather questionable meat and some mashed potatoes – and went to your solitary table. A blissful sigh escaped your lips when you finally were alone in your corner. No, worse than any insults or solitude were the threats, hidden under fake smiles. Not a single day went without them. You always were forced to do ‘voluntary tasks’ for the designated mean girls of Green Dolphin or ‘lend’ them money. It was humiliating, really, but you didn’t want to end up beaten to death in your cell, so you followed their instructions.

Once you completed the laundry task, you decided to spend the rest of the afternoon in the library, hoping to find an interesting enough book to teleport you away for a couple hours from your harsh reality. You settled into the couch with a novel in your hands, enjoying this slight moment of calmness. Your peace was short-lived though as a blonde woman approached you, a saccharine smile plastered on her face. Oh no, you knew where this would go.

“Hi! How are you doing today?”, she greeted you with a fake happiness swinging in her tone.

“Fine”, you mumbled quietly, not being able to assert yourself.

“I’m glad to hear that!,” she replied, though you knew she didn’t give a shit about your well-being, “Look, I’m so sorry to bother you again, but could you give me ten dollars? I need them for something very important and you’ll get them back in no time!” She batted her eyelashes at you, seemingly coming across as innocent.

“I would, but I forgot the money in my cell”, you countered, trying to come up with an excuse.

“Then stand up and get it.” Her voice had already shifted into a menacing tone, eyes gleaming like a predator.

“I don’t know if I-“

“Y/N, that was your name, right? Well, if you don’t get me my money, our friendship will be ruined and you’re aware of the consequences of that, aren’t you?”, your fellow inmate replied while pulling you by the collar of your uniform up from the couch.

“Right…,” you whispered, accepting your defeat, “I’ll get it for you.”

“Awesome!,” the blonde chirped, all sunshine and rainbows again, “I’ll wait for you here, just don’t take too long.”

That was how your life went. You didn’t complain too much, you knew it could be way worse than that. And it wasn’t as if you had much of a choice to change it anyway. You weren’t going to be released from prison in the next twenty five years. “So just accept it and move on, day by day”, you mused, repeating that thought every day.

Your life took a turn, however, when a new inmate joined Green Dolphin. She was a young woman around your age, dark buns adorning her head and a green fringe framing her face. You had been spared from a cellmate, but that all changed now, as she was your new roomie. “Great,” you thought bitterly, “now my last bit of peace has been stolen from me.”

She introduced herself as Jolyne Kujo. Jolyne seemed to be still quite naïve when it came to prison life, claiming she’d been conned and that her lawyer would certainly take her out from there. “It’s time to face the fact that no one cares if you’re here for a valid reason or not, trust me, I know it from experience”, you thought, though you didn’t dare voice that to her.

She actually turned out to be nice. And with that, you meant that she respected your private space and didn’t threaten you. In exchange, you offered her some advice on who to avoid in jail, which the woman gladly accepted.

At first, the change was barely noticeable. Jolyne kept herself quiet except for the occasional small talk in your cell or during a shared task. Instead, she chose to lounge around two other inmates you hardly knew, one with dark braids and the other with a weird-looking green cap. You were glad to see that at least she formed a group, being able to protect herself now better from potential harassers if needed.

Of course you were still exposed to them. You made your way to the shower as a woman with broad muscles approached you, face turned into a dark grimace. By her build and expression, you’d first assumed she was a guard until you’d noticed the familiar uniform.

“You there!”, she shouted at you, a finger pointing menacingly at you as she came closer, “Give me your money, now!”

You cowered back into the corner of the shower room, panic flooding your system. “I’m sorry,” you stuttered, “I don’t have anything on me, I can give it to you after-“

“Don’t fucking play with me, bitch”, she brutely interjected, nostrils flaring up angrily due to exhaling. Your aggressor stood now in front of you, a strong hand wrapping itself around your throat and threatening to cut off your airflow. She yanked you up in the air as she continued her assault. “You think you can pick and choose? Does this place look like fucking Disneyland to you? You better give me my money now if you don’t wanna end up choking water and being beaten up like the dirty street mutt you are.” You were already flinching when the prisoner raised her fist to punch your face as a voice suddenly interrupted you.

“I think that’s enough”, Jolyne said in a firm tone, a fierce expression marking her face.

“And who the hell are you? Wanna join your little friend here?”, your tormentor commented, unimpressed by your cellmate’s entrance.

“Big words for someone who’ll soon be nothing but a bloody pulp”, Jolyne answered, not faltering under the inmate’s glare.

Your harasser proceeded to laugh out loud at her words, obviously not taking her seriously. She dropped you unceremoniously as she shifted all her attention to your saviour instead. Desperately, you panted for air, your hands moving to your hurting throat. You remained in your corner as you observed the scene unfolding in front of you.

“As if you weakling could do anything against me,” your tantaliser spit out, still chuckling at Jolyne’s words, “I’d kill you with my pinky finger.”

Jolyne remained strangely calm, choosing to smile at the threat. “We’ll see about that”, was the only thing she uttered before she lunged at her with incredible speed. Clearly, you weren’t the only one surprised as the inmate’s eyes widened as well. Jolyne turned the bully’s bewilderment into her advantage, her fist immediately connecting with the inmate’s nose. The latter let out a shrill scream, blood dripping out of her nostril. Clearly, she didn’t expect your roommate to do any real damage, let alone break her nose.

Jolyne shook the hand she punched her with, her knuckles reddened and slightly torn open from the assault. You kept staring at both of them, petrified and unsure about what to do now.

“I’ll kill you for that, you bitch,” your aggressor barked out angrily, “and your little friend will pay, too.”

You started trembling at the thought of her hand around your neck again.

“I’ll look for a guard, Jolyne”, you eventually said, the fear barely hidden in your voice. You decided this was enough and someone had to put an end to this.

“Stay here”, your cellmate replied authoritatively. For the first time, you were actually scared of her. “I’ll teach this woman that she needs to face consequences for her actions.”

With these words, Jolyne placed her fingers on your tormentor’s right ear. You wondered what she’d do next when a sudden yell disrupted your thoughts. The inmate’s cry was far worse than the previous one, emitting all of her pain and agony. You could hardly listen to it.

Then, with great horror, you finally noticed it. Her ear shell laid on the floor, blood coating the cut off organ. Your gaze travelled to Jolyne, waiting for an explanation to your unvoiced question, though she kept her eyes fixated on the prisoner’s pain-ridden face.

“You won’t touch Y/N or me ever again, did I make myself clear?”, she asked, her voice coated with barely concealed anger. Your bully only gave out a whimper, but the answer seemed to satisfy Jolyne. “Good. Now, if you see any guards, you keep our names out of your mouth, unless you want to lose another body part.”

The following weeks, Jolyne had become overly protective. She clung to you like a lost child, afraid that you’d be hurt or threatened again without her presence. You didn’t know if you should be grateful or terrified for her protection.

You’d asked her how she’d been able to cut that one prisoner’s ear off, but her explanation had been more confusing than enlightening. She’d talked about a Stand ability and how only so-called Stand users could see and wield it, but nothing made sense to you. You started to believe she’d just lost her mind.

Jolyne had also introduced you to her friend group. Ermes and Foo Fighters seemed nice enough, though they behaved in the same weird manner as your cellmate did. You felt awkward in their presence, not knowing why you were even there in the first place.

In the end, you decided to be thankful. With Jolyne and her friends by your side, no one bullied you anymore. And if your peace meant to spend some time with your cellmate, that was a small price to pay, right?

You didn’t notice the pair of chartreuse eyes observing every bit of your sleeping form. You never did.

Jolyne had been looking at you for many nights. This time, it wasn’t an exception. She tentatively brushed her hand over your cheek, marvelling at your slight reaction as you furrowed your brows at the touch.

“You’re really cute Y/N, do you know that?”, she whispered to you. Of course you were unable to answer.

Jolyne had been unusually shy around you. She was well aware of the fact that after her act of violence, you felt uncomfortable around her, possibly even scared. She tried so so hard to make you see that she was only protecting you! In fact, the young woman wondered how you could have even survived in Green Dolphin before her arrival.

She had a hard time picturing your life without her in it. At first, she’d been furious and crushed at the revelation that her ex-boyfriend had purposefully framed her for a crime she hadn’t committed. She had loved Romeo, so naturally, her heart had been broken.

But then, you entered her life. She saw now why she needed to be here. Who else could protect you, love you, like Jolyne? You were everything she had ever wanted.

Lovingly, she placed a small kiss on your cheek. You stirred slightly from the feathery peck. Nevertheless, you continued your slumber. Jolyne wished she could touch you more deliberately, more intensely. She’d grown tired of this little hiding game. The prisoner didn’t want to secretly let your brush run through her hair anymore, imagining it were your fingers instead or coo at you when you were sleeping. No, she wanted to feel you, to be touched and loved by you.

Sure, you might feel uncomfortable around her, but that was only because you didn’t see how much she cherished you. Maybe it was time to be bolder around you.

“Hey Y/N, could you give me my toothbrush, please?”

“Sure”, you replied casually as you handed the desired object over to her.

“Thanks, you truly are the sweetest.”

Your face heated up at her flirtatious tone. “She definitely didn’t mean it in that way”, you thought to calm your nerves.

“You still don’t want to join me showering? I’d hate for you to get attacked again”, your cellmate asked you, concern swinging in her voice.

“I’m good,” you mumbled, “I’ll just go next morning. And I doubt anyone’s gonna threaten me again after your lesson.” The thought of Jolyne mutilating another inmate terrified you, no matter how much your former aggressor deserved it.

“Come on, you’re just afraid to see me naked,” Jolyne teased while giving you a toothy grin, “it’s alright, you can tell me. I don’t mind.”

You didn’t think you could get more flustered. “That’s not it!”, you countered hastily, “I mean not that you're not a beautiful woman or anything, it’s just that…”

Jolyne stopped listening and straightened her back. You thought she was beautiful? Was this finally the moment she’d been waiting for? A dreamy expression marked her bright eyes.

“You think we could be a thing?”, Jolyne interjected your rambling.

“What?!”, you stuttered, unsure if you heard her correctly.

“I mean, I do really like you.” Suddenly, she stood up from her bed and moved over to you. You stared at her big-eyed, still not knowing what was going on. A hand came resting on your cheek as her gaze was locked on you. “Who am I kidding? I’m totally in love with you.” She softly traced her fingers over your skin, sending a chill down your spine.

“Jolyne”, you whispered quietly. You had no clue how to handle the situation, images of her brutal side flashing up in your mind again. You gulped harshly. “I didn’t know you felt this way, I thought we were friends.”

“We are friends,” the young woman retorted, “we could just be more, you know?” Jolyne leaned into you, closing the space between you, as her lips landed on yours. She kissed you with gentleness and care, as if you were made of glass. When you felt her teeth slightly tugging at your bottom lip, begging for more, you eventually snapped out of your surprise and pushed her away from you.

“What was that?”, you asked her out of breath, unable to conceal your anger.

“I’ve kissed you, silly.”

“I’ve just told you that I’m not interested in a relationship!”

Ah yes. That must have been when Jolyne had blended you out in favour of marvelling at your compliment.

“I think you should think about that again”, your cellmate replied, a dark edge manifesting in her voice.

“And why is that? Do you want to cut my ear off too?”, you asked, your iritateness making you feel reckless.

Jolyne huffed at your comment. She did that for you!

“At least you could be grateful for what I did,” she spit out, “but no, I’d never hurt you. I can’t guarantee the same thing about the other inmates though.”

You immediately caught onto the threat. Your anger easily transformed into fear again as you realised what impact your words had on the woman in front of you. When Jolyne noticed you wouldn’t counter, she put her hand on your body again, this time deciding to let it travel up and down your arm.

“If you keep saying mean things to me,” she said, her voice still sounding menacing despite her gentle hand movement, “I might just not talk to you anymore. Once the others see that we’re not hanging out anymore, they’ll just change their mind and choose you as their target again. And what do you do without my protection? You don’t want to be their punching bag again, do you, hm?”

“No”, you managed to utter silently, eyes cast onto the floor.

“Look sweetheart, I can make an exception for today. I’ll forget your behaviour and you reciprocate, right? Unless you want to go back to your initial position.”

“No!”, you answered a bit too fast, your eyes looking at her face again. You could only imagine what the inmate with the mutilated ear would do to you… “I’ll be good, I promise.”

Jolyne took hold of chin, ensuring that your eyes were still trained at her. Then, she kissed you again. Despite your feelings, you gave in, much to her pleasure. When she eventually removed her lips from yours, she shot you another love-struck gaze.

You knew your life in Green Dolphin had been shitty before Jolyne, but now you only felt what it meant to be truly imprisoned.

“I’m glad to hear that, honey,” the young woman said with a bedazzling smile on her face, “I’d suggest we finally take a shower, after all I can’t wait to see everything of my darling.”

Her grin gained a sinister note.

“And we’ll see how the night goes after that.”

#JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #stone ocean #yandere jolyne #yandere jolyne x reader #yandere x reader #tw: yandere #tw: threats #tw: toxic relationship #tw: noncon kiss #tw: slight gore #tw: ear mutilation #tw: bullying #tw: prison #tw: insults #tw: violence #minors dni

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