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#could they let me know soon?
emberglowfox · 9 months
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closing time
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mono-socke · 20 days
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Day 26: Shadow
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pathetichoney · 1 year
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[Image ID: A drawing of a selfie taken by Sam Manson with Damian Wayne. They are both dressed up in formal attire, Damian in a black/dark grey suit with a red tie, and Sam in a purple topped off the shoulder dress with black straps. She is wearing a variety of jewelry, a necklace with a bat pendant, a black choker with a star of david in a circle pendant and cartoonish spider shaped earrings. Her hair is reminiscent in her half-up hairstyle, but with two ponytails rather than one. The background is a dark wall, a white collumn and white tile flooring. There is a window in the back, with green curtains, and outside the window is a cityscape of Gotham at night. There is a watermark of the artist’s username in the top left corner @pathetichoney​. End ID.]
i am back on my bullshit this time with a v special new way that i’m drawing bc i got a new phone that i am paying out the wazoo for, however i can draw on it so my art has gotten significantly better. though of course i had to test myself and do both 1. a full background 2. a character who wears lipstick which i always struggle with unless their mouth is in a particular position and 3. a character that i have never ever tried to draw.
so like. rip me lol.
anyways i am back on my bullshit bc this is fanart of fanfic!!!! i always feel exactly in my element when i do this, it’s just always so good??? and fun?? and when i first read this fic, i mean oh god i just fell for it so hard. i ended up rereading it again like barely 48 hours after i’d finished reading it the first time lol
the fic in question is a damian and danny are twins au! it’s called Leap Before You Think by TourettesDog and i just-- the characterisations are just so well done it all feels incredibly natural especially with the merging of the two different universes into one cohesively and seamlessly it’s wonderful. there are a few faults with this pic i think, however i am still incredibly proud of it. as a bonus, here’s a better view of the window scene because i’m still really proud of that one:
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good-beanswrites · 5 months
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If it's okay with you, could you write a drabble about the hypothetical aftermath of Amane getting attacked by Kotoko?
Welp thank you pal for making me absolutely insane with this request 👍 I ran through a few hypotheticals and realized I had to shift some things around since there were so many absolutely tragic outcomes. I worked something out but damn if it didn’t make me emotional to think about how uniquely rough Amane has it. Even making sure she's in a good place at the end, this got pretty serious, so warnings for child abuse and cult references. 
(So in canon, Kotoko goes in order and attacks Fuuta, but Kazui steps in. Then she attacks Mahiru while he’s distracted with his injuries. She’s about to attack Amane, but Mikoto gets in the way (my hc that he did it on purpose survives!). By the time they reach a draw, Kazui is back, and the two of them can prevent Kotoko from any further action against Amane. Sticking to this apparent system of three attacks and one rescue, I’m just shuffling around the injuries for this story. Fuuta’s attack went unnoticed, and he’s in the same state as canon Mahiru. Mikoto steps in before Kotoko can fight Mahiru, so Mappi’s the one who get out physically unscathed. While Mikoto checks on Mahiru, recovers himself, or discovers Fuuta, Kotoko is able to attack Amane next. Kazui comes to help, but not before she leaves Amane looking like canon Fuuta.)
Mahiru could practically feel her heart shatter into a million pieces when Amane finally cried in front of her. She hadn’t shed a single tear yesterday – it was the shock, Shidou said. Mahiru was skeptical. After all, she had been shocked, too, and cried plenty.
Amane woke as she came in with breakfast. She took a moment to survey herself, bandages peeking out from beneath her pajamas and an eyepatch securely over her right eye. As calmly as one might say “good morning,” she started to cry. Mahiru might have missed it, if Amane hadn’t wiped at her good eye with her sleeve.
“Oh, sweetheart…!” Mahiru rushed over to her. “It’s okay, I’m here.” She wanted nothing more than to wrap the girl in a secure embrace, but she remembered the mass of bandages that were around her chest. Shidou had mentioned broken ribs and bruises. It took everything in her not to cry along with Amane, at the thought.
“I can get you another ice pack, if you need. Or more medicine.” Her mind spun with ways to help with pain. Many of the first aid supplies had been used to keep Fuuta from the brink of death, but surely there were extras to spare for Amane. 
The girl just shook her head. 
She muttered, “I can’t… I…I’m going to be punished, I’m going to be punished…”
“No! You’re safe now.” Mahiru placed her hands gently on Amane’s arms. “Kotoko’s not coming back. We’re all watching over you. You’re safe. She’s not going to hurt you anymore.” 
“That’s not…” Amane pulled away. Her voice stayed level, despite hiccups interrupting her. A hand reached up to her eyepatch. “It’s this. It’s all of this. It’s sinful. I took it off last night, but he must have…” She started unwrapping it. “They’re going to punish me...” 
With a careful motion, Mahiru held it in place and took Amane’s hands into her own. She’d been picking up on the signs ever since they arrived here together, and a final wave of understanding washed over her. 
“I can’t let you do that.”
Amane’s expression twisted, though words came out far more frantic than fiery. “Let me go.” 
Mahiru didn’t. “I’m sorry. Amane, you need this treatment.”
“That is not your decision to make. That is not any human’s decision to make.”
Mahiru pressed her lips together. “I know. But I can’t watch as you… I can’t sit by again while someone…” She was careful not to apply any pressure, but she could no longer fight the urge to gather Amane up in her arms. “You don’t need to be afraid of those people, anymore.”
“I’m not afraid.” Amane hiccuped. “They love me, and I love them. I need to be good for them.”
“I love you, and I don’t want to see you in pain.”
“You just pity me because I’m young.”
“Why does your age matter? You are a lovely young woman – you are my friend – and I can’t bear to see you in pain.”
The two sat in silence for a moment. Mahiru doubted she would take that as an answer; Amane had refused to call any of the others her friend. At least she didn’t argue. In fact, it seemed she was leaning into the embrace a bit more. She sighed a shaky breath into Mahiru’s uniform.
“Listen, Amane. Can you do me a favor? I’m trying to be a good girl, too. To make up for something awful, I need to make sure you’re alright. Can you help me? Can we be good together?”
A long pause followed. Amane’s voice spoke up, ever so gently.
“I suppose I can consider it.” She added quickly, “for the sake of your redemption. Of course.”
“Of course.”
#milgram#amane momose#mahiru shiina#thank you so much! i dont want to be bubbly on such a serious drabble but i want to give an enthusiastic thanks because this one really got#the gears turning!!#i started making plans as soon as i saw the ask and it took so long finding something that wouldnt result in straight up tragedy :(#if i kept to the initial timeline and said kazui didnt step in until amanes attack then both fuuta and mahiru would be close to death#and given there seems to limited supplies i think one of them would have died if shidou needed to treat three critical patients#so i moved people around to make sure everyone survived#which brought me to the main problem of amane self sabotaging her medical care#even minor injuries could have resulted in death if she got her way and removed bandages/refused treatment#but the mental strain of keeping the treatment would be just as bad as the physical pain -- shed be paranoid 24/7 of#divine punishment and repeating the mistakes that led her here.... it would hurt more to be forced like that#so i needed someone to be able to get through to her gently#but the only one who shes been able to trust just got the shit beat out of him and is in no position to talk!!!!#everyone else would just make her more upset or not know how to convince her the right way :(#still - i think mahiru could do it the best! with her own trauma from allowing loved ones to die in front of her i think shed be motivated#so. yeah.#i know amane is supposed to be talking in the plural pronoun now but i couldnt get it to work - lets just say that kicks in soon after this#tw cults#tw child abuse#drabbles
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canon-gabriel-quotes · 2 months
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that soft round brush is gonna kill me btw that shit you drew is SKSBSKSB sksbsksbsj ksKSBSJSBSMALQJSLAHSKWBDKSJ 😳😳😳😳😳🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥴🥴🥴🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣
Does this mean i succeeded in making him look.. um.. whats the word. grabbable
hehe
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storfulsten · 7 months
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my silly viera wol alt bc reasons uwu
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age-of-moonknight · 4 months
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Hi! It's me again.
In light of the upcoming Ultimate Black Panther 2024 coming out in Feb, "In the wake of Ultimate Invasion", in which Khonshu and Ra are doing things and then are the bad guys.... I thought it a good theme to explore Moon Knight in alternate universes. ....To which I actually know very little about. But I bet you know stuff!
I've seen Moon Knight explored in things like Arachknight (love that outfit) and alternate timelines where he's imagined in different outfits, but what about in actual Marvel time lines like the Ultimate universe or 2099 (which he is also going to be featured in briefly).
How much has he shown up in those lines and can they even be called Moon Knight or just some guys in a Moon outfit?
Thank you so much for sending this my way, because oh ho ho this is something I'm so excited to answer! :D You hit the nail on the head though in regard to how "Moon Knight" is only sometimes our beloved system of Jake, Marc, and Steven and other times it's more of a title. Interestingly, I've noticed anecdotally that many non-616 continuities choose to invent an entirely new character as opposed to doing an alternate interpretation of our favorite guy. A majority of the time, however, they still maintain key facets of the Moon Knight mantle (devotion to Khonshu, for example, being prevalent). I'll break down the major ones (and some of my favorites) under the cut, because there are some really great ones imo. :D
Ultimates (Earth-1610)
I started here not only because you mentioned it specifically, but also because it's the non-616 continuity with the most Moon Knight material and it's possibly the closest parallel to 616's Moon Knight.
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Ultimates Moon Knight appears in Ultimate Spider-Man (Vol. 1/2000), #79-80, #82-85, #107-110 and Ultimate Spider-Man Annual (Vol. 1/2006), #2.
He also makes some cameos in the Ultimate Fantastic Four (Vol. 1/2004), #52-53, Ultimate Origins (Vol. 1/2008), #5, and Cataclysm: The Ultimates' Last Stand (Vol. 1/2014), #5.
Sometimes I just think about this dude, because he's very recognizable as an analogue for 616!Marc Spector, but there are some major differences that receive frustratingly little expansion due to him only being a secondary character guest-appearing in a Spider-Man comic. One difference right off the bat is that it seems in this iteration the Marc and Steven identities are swapped, with Marc being the debonair millionaire frequently used as a cover identity and Steven as the scruffy operator.
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[Ultimate Spider-Man (Vol. 1/2000), #83.]
The other big change, in my opinion at least, appears to be an attempt at more purposefully incorporating in and acknowledging the system's DID, whereas 616 pretty notoriously meandered its way through "nah, they're just cover identities" to "he contracted 'multiple identities' after doing those cover identities Too Hard" (???? Yike?) to finally landing on something a bit more understanding and respectful. The success of 1610's attempt at mental health representation probably depends upon your opinion on Brian Michael Bendis as a writer. An honest attempt was made, but it's definitely not free of the now very dated term "multiple identity disorder" or of stereotypes, with one headmate being a little girl and the whole system being threatened by an encroaching "evil" alter developed as a cover identity (which happens to be "Ronin," another wild little element of this universe) and subsequently going off the rails.
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[Ultimate Spider-Man (Vol. 1/2000), #108.]
Markedly, I don't recall catching a reference to Khonshu during my read-through of these comics, which is inline with Ultimates' more "grounded" approach to characters, ig. In any case, almost all of 1610!Moon Knight's background is jampacked into a single panel (that consequently frustrates me to no end hahaha):
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[Ultimate Spider-Man (Vol. 1/2000), #108.]
While some of this makes sense for Ultimates' whole deal of updating characters (Gulf War vet and Navy SEAL being more relevant to the 2000's than the very 70's background of globe-trotting mercenary selling his services to any insurgency that will pay,,,,although I shall keep my opinions on SEALs to myself asldkfij), from what I recall, however, they NEVER bring up the fact that this guy is a failed super soldier ever again? Nor the Roxxon connection??? But he (or rather Ronin) does drive a bus into Peter Parker's high school, gets domed by Kingpin's goons, survives (naturally), and is quite helpful in the case to take down Kingpin, so there's that. He's also responsible for some of my favorite panels of all time.
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[Ultimate Spider-Man (Vol. 1/2000), #80.]
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[Ultimate End (Vol. 1/2015), #5]
(technically that last one's from Earth-61610, a fusion of Earth-616 and Earth-1610, but it's the panel I always think about whenever trying to parse out how Ultimates and the main continuity came together hahaha)
2099
The other continuity you mentioned by name and an interesting one because apparently there are multiple continuities associated with "2099." None of them have a "Marc Spector" (may that be because he's resting in peace after dying of old age aslkdfj), but there are some other options. Something that fascinates me though, is that none of these options come from Miguel O'Hara's home continuity of Earth-928 and most of them are women.
Moon Knight of Earth-96943
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I did a post on her character here and personally I think she's rather neat. She only really pops up in 2099: Manifest Destiny (Vol. 1/1998), #1, but she beats up opportunistic capitalists on the moon and tells the Watcher what's good, so again, I think she's pretty cool (and I love how all of her speech bubbles have crescent moons).
Tabitha, Moon Knight of Earth-TRN590
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[Spider-Man 2099 (Vol. 3/2015), #14]
Otherwise known as Tabby (!), this "2099" Moon Knight actually got to meet Miguel and appears in Spider-Man 2099 (Vol. 3/2015), #14-16 (similarly, I expand upon her character here). She's another case of a character fairly firmly relegated to the "supporting" category, but when she does get some panel time, it's a lot of fun, as she has that pretty classic Peter David wit and a big ol' sword that she uses to exorcise a demon out of Doctor Strange (and subsequently banishes it to the moon).
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[Spider-Man 2099 (Vol. 3/2015), #14]
Moon Knight of Earth-2099 (....not to be confused with Earth-928)
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[Spider-Man 2099: Exodus (Vol. 1/2022), #3.]
This one is an....exceedingly interesting case, more thoroughly detailed here. After making a one panel reference to the Moon Knight temple guardian of Earth-96943 (and implying she died RIP sounds fake but okay), Spider-Man 2099: Exodus (Vol. 1/2022), #3 and Spider-Man 2099: Exodus Omega (Vol. 1/2022), #1 establishes this new Moon Knight as the leader of a new team of Avengers. But you have to watch out, because this Moon Knight is also just straight up Khonshu animating a corpse.
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[Spider-Man 2099: Exodus (Vol. 1/2022), #3.]
Those times when the timeline got kind of screwy (so 616!Marc,,,,kind of????)
There are some instances where 616!Marc got caught up in those kinds of situations where everyone gets thrust into an alternate time line or a timeline that was erased for whatever reason, his involvement in which pretty much solely being due to him being an active Avenger at the time.
House of M (Earth-58163)
Marc is technically in House of M (Vol. 1/2006), #3-7, but he's only there to stand in the background of group shots wearing a fit so generic even I have worn it. BUT, however, it turns out House of M: Avengers (Vol. 1/2008), #1-5 fleshes out his character's background in this reality and explains why he gave up the iconic white threads.
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[House of M: Avengers (Vol. 1/2008), #2.]
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[House of M: Avengers (Vol. 1/2008), #1.]
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[House of M: Avengers (Vol. 1/2008), #5.]
(imo, I mean, look I know it was the 2000's and simple/leather jacket "costumes" were in, but the reason provided was NOT good enough for putting him in the most boring fit possible, but that's just me alskdfj Further note, looks like I uuuuuh missed the House of M: Avengers comics on my initial readthrough so I shall probably loop back around to those some point soon)
Age of Ultron (Earth-61112)
Found in Avengers Assemble (Vol. 2/2012), #14AU and Age of Ultron (Vol. 1/2013), #2, #4-5, the mental health representation isn't always the greatest, but otherwise, there's a lot I'm fond of in these issues. Natasha Romanoff is much more firmly "the main character" with Marc supporting her, but you will definitely get no complaints on that on this here blog. This reality basically boils down to "Natasha and Marc are a criminally underrated duo that could probably destabilize juntas if they chose to do so" and it's great.
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[Age of Ultron (Vol. 1/2013), #2.]
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[Age of Ultron (Vol. 1/2013), #2.]
Other Continuities (Where Marc Actually Shows Up)
Earth-X (Earth-9997)
This one haunts me???? Because it's one of the earliest examples I can recall of really digging into the irony of a Jewish man serving an Egyptian god as well as artfully discussing that unique tension within Marc of "alive but only just/not really" AND gives Marlene some fascinating development....all within the pages of a special event the plot of which I honestly couldn't explain to you if I tried.
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[Universe X (Vol. 1/2000), #6.]
But if you want to check it for yourself (and see if your reading comprehension is better than mine hahaha), this Moon Knight shows up in Universe X (Vol. 1/2000), #0, #6-7, #10-11; Paradise X Special Edition (Vol. 1/2000), #1; Paradise X (Vol. 1/2000), #0 and #11; Paradise X: Devils (Vol. 1/2000), #1; Paradise X: A (Vol. 1/2000), #1; and Paradise X: X (Vol. 1/2000), #1 (and if you're wondering, yes, I did lose a few braincells typing all that out).....but this guy does get a cool color inverse suit!
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[Universe X (Vol. 1/2000), #6.]
Battleworld (Earth-51910)
Or at least, I'm pretty sure this is Marc although we only get the last name of Spector. Anyway, amidst the Beyonders’ and Doctor Doom’s shenanigans in Secret Wars Journal (Vol. 1/2015), #1, Spector here lost his faith in "Baroness Khonshu," but at least his design is dope as all get out.
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Also, he's a werewolf.
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[Secret Wars Journal (Vol. 1/2015), #1.]
Heroes Reborn (Earth-21798)
The "Marc Spector" who is presented in Heroes Reborn (Vol. 2/2021), #5 and #7 as the sort of Hush and Two-Face to Darkhawk's Batman frankly sort of leaves a bad taste in my mouth, as he's straight up described as a "schizo who worshipped the moon" and is generally just a violent criminal who ends up in Ravencroft (...not great in the slightest, all around honestly). Accordingly, the only redeeming quality of this alternate is the DOPE costume he gets when he ends up on this continuity's equivalent of the Dark Avengers.
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[Heroes Reborn (Vol. 2/2021), #7.]
Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe Again (Earth-TRN664)
Oh goodness, please don't make me talk about this comic again; thinking about it Hurts Me. Fairly well executed but so incredibly tragic. Mr. Knight is fantastically sympathetic and a brilliant detective and it all ends horribly. If you want to read Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe Again (Vol. 1/2017), #1-3, godspeed.
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[Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe Again (Vol. 1/2017), #2.]
Other Moon Knight Variants
These are some honorable mentions that I'll just have to link my posts for, because I unfortunately have pretty much hit the image limit RIP.
Mariama Spector of Earth-818
Battleworld Frank Castle as Moon Knight
And finally, since I loved the phrase you used of "just some guys in a Moon outfit," I present the ultimate "just some guy in a Moon outfit":
Friggin "Moonwing" of Earth-9602
When Moon Knight got the Amalgam comics treatment, he got mashed up with Nightwing of all characters in Bruce Wayne: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Vol. 1/1996), #1, as detailed here. Basically, they just gave Dick Grayson a past in the CIA and DID, leaving the whole moon motif a bit of a mystery.
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(Amalgam Comics Trading Cards, #8.)
Naturally, there are some variants I didn't mention here. Moon Knight pops up in quite a few non-616 continuities, but most of the time he's just in the background of large group shots and/or action scenes and doesn't have any lines or contribute anything to the plot. Accordingly, I attempted to include just the iterations with the most material that were expressly from different timelines (which is why I didn't include all of the historical Moon Knights from the 2019 Moon Knight Annual or Moon Knight Ravonna who are also from Earth-616). But yeah! I hope this is of interest to someone out there or at least somewhat vaguely answered your question hahaha thanks again!
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prodigal-explorer · 4 months
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it’s so cute (/s) when basil fans whine about how “basil feels so guilty all the time and he has abandonment issues cuz his parents were jerks and he’s just a kid who makes mistakes wah wah don’t ever criticize him ever” and then turn around call aubrey a bully when SHE feels so guilty all the time and has abandonment issues cuz her parents are jerks and she’s just a kid who makes mistakes.
hmm.
you’re in a stalemate now basil fans. you can’t admit that basil is your smol innocent baby without admitting that aubrey also is one, which she’s not, right?
so that means basil can���t be either! wow! what a concept, a boy doing something wrong and not having a million excuses made for him?? how wild.
#contrary to popular belief#aubrey is actually just basil but better and cooler and awesomer and more badass#like their situations are so similar but they handled it so differently#and i get that mental illness makes things hard for some people that are easy for others#but nothing aubrey did was a cakewalk#when she realized she fucked up#SHE APOLOGIZED AS SOON AS SHE COULD.#and she ADMITTED WHAT SHE DID#and tried as hard as she could to atone.#what did basil do?#oh yeah.#he pretended to be an innocent baby and it WORKED.#whether or not he meant to#he DID manipulate his friends to believe that he was just a victim#and that aubrey didn’t have a reason for what she was doing#even though she DID have a reason#she just knew nobody would believe her or care if she spoke up about it#okay i know basil fans are gonna send me death threats again#so let me say for the record that I DONT THINK BASIL IS EVIL.#i actually love his role in the narrative and he’s amazing mental illness representation#but he is so good BECAUSE of how hard it is for him to be redeemable.#no matter how sorry he is#BASIL FUCKING DESTROYED PEOPLE. it doesn’t matter that he’s mentally ill.#those scars on the people he hurt won’t fade just because they’re shown a psychiatric diagnosis.#and i think that’s an important lesson#that it’s possible to be mentally ill and a horrible person and that’s not demonizing mental illness that’s just being a person#forgiveness isn’t mandatory. it’s optional and you’re not bad if you decide not to forgive someone for ruining your life!#omori#aubrey omori#basil omori
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orchideae · 4 months
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My apologies for the absence! I feel like a broken record saying this, but I keep entering different phases of 'settling into life' (went through a massive change in my personal life last year), and then every time I get to 'Ah, all is calm now', something else happens. But I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, as one huge weight has now finally been lifted off my shoulders. Phew. /munches on my camembert and baguette.
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tsuchinokoroyale · 4 months
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It’s so good to see you.
Lies of P (2023)
#I finished lying and penising for the last time…#I got the game for my PS5 after 100%ing it on game pass bc I was so impressed and obsessed I needed to get a physical copy#so I obviously had to 100% it again and I hilariously forgot to read a letter to unlock an achievement#so I had to play the game a FOURTH TIME since you only get the letter at the end and restarting the game wipes all letters from your bag#but that let me do something I LOVE doing with these shorter games#which is putting the effort to give these characters the best endings their quests allow#so I can leave the characters in the world with as much peace as I can#I also did this in majora’s mask with my final run of the game being about doing every single side quest I could and beating ever boss#so that termina would be as peaceful as it would be once the mask was destroyed and skull kid freed#that being said wearing the alidoro mask led to an unintentionally hilarious semi final cutscene#a tear is supposed to roll down your face at one point but instead it was just a completely still super close shot of the dog mask#and I burst out laughing like nooooooo#luckily I’ve scene the ending like 3 times already but can you imagine if that was the only time I’d seen it 😂#I one rounded nameless puppet this time I truly felt like a god I’m so grateful for neowiz for making this game its been so fun#even after beating it like 7 times I know I’ll be playing it again one day and I’m gonna be a preorder ho for the Lies of series#the DLC and sequel can’t come soon I’m so in love with this game I need to eat it#Lies of P#video games#lies of p sophia#lies of p carlo
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eyeballing at gl:tas halbarry even barry didn't appear at that show at all (idk I feel like if barry appears in gl:tas the halbarry fandom will explode)
Can we all agree that the portrayed writing for the characters in GL:TAS is one of the best-perceived versions (<- Might be me but that show actually understood the characters, let me be honest...) Especially the comics they have on this show...
(UHM YOURE SO RIGHT BTW. I would explode)
So, if we ever got a glimpse of Hal's civil life + league life in the show every now and then... I feel that we would get to explore partially his relationships with people, like how they did for characters in the show. Not to mention, we don't exactly get Hal content, because that DCAU GL and FLASH over different media has kinda been John and Wally, unless we talk for movies but I also love that duo though, they're funny...
I would let the people in charge of GL:TAS write for Barry... Or PLEASE if he did, I would enjoy seeing them with The Brave and The Bold dynamic... (Would literally kick my legs and giggle). I could image that the series version of Hal and Barry would be a take on their friendship, specifically with how they act with one another. They would also personally portray Barry as a nerd, let's be honest... Or just the way (If anyone has ever seen Star Trek: The Original Series) (TOS) Spock (<- Star Trek reference, uhmm K/S is so Halbarry..)
THEY WOULD SO BE KIRK AND SPOCK IF THEY WERE IN GL:TAS!!!!?!?!?!!? Hellooo...
It's a literal crime that they canceled this show, have you SEEN the promo art for GL:TAS season 2 (<- The art by Bruce Timm, I hate him but we get to see a little glimpse of what could have been)
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freebooter4ever · 6 days
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dear mom, one day ill be living in a big old city and all youll ever be is mean :)
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8rujaa · 1 month
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my therapist really saved me….
#tw abuse // tw sa#i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this.#like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her#i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling#literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her#i was so dissociated during our first few sessions#thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out#i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking#i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session#she’s truly incredible.#i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’#i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong#and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’#she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be#best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’#i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply#doing what’s best for me was an option… l#ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress#when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength.#yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D#me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress#im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help.#the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened.#my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’#LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said#’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’#she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point#she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help)#im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it#my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.
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kyouka-supremacy · 2 months
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Mmmhh...
#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11#(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now#I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share#On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out#Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog#Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them
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priceofreedom · 11 months
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rebirth is gonna destroy us i just know it
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mitamicah · 2 months
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I need to think out loud - feel free to ignore
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