Not me reminiscing on lost relationships again this is so old, damn near all my friends are gone. Few who aren’t are feeling more and more distant. My ex says she still feels just as strongly for me but with how things ended idk. History is just repeating itself yet again. Every time I reach a breaking point and people see how much of a mess I am, it’s awful. They just bail. I’ve basically just surrounded myself with fake people unintentionally, either that or I’m really just that overwhelming. It’s all happening again, for like the fourth time. She left me, and most of my friends did to. Got fucking Bakeracted and since then, fucking nobody is talking to me. Why am I so easy to throw away
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Yesterday I volunteered at a pollinator event and I got a free plant! It was a pale purple coneflower, a native species I had been having a hard time getting my hands on! And it was a lovely sized plant, not a seed or even a seedling!
I'd been neglecting my garden lately but that day the weather was supposed to be nice for a bit until some rain. So I grabbed my gloves and went out, intending to just clear a bit of crabgrass out of my native perennial bed to make a spot for the new plant.
I came back to consciousness two hours later.
I stopped when I felt the first raindrop. I had worn open blisters into two fingers, other fingertips had blisters so bad I could barely type, and my forearms were scratched to shit from crabgrass and fescue. I'd cleared out about three quarters of the weeds in the bed and also expanded it by six inches all around by pulling more grass and moving the edging stones.
holy shit
ow
my garden actually grew in nicely under all the shit i let fester
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honestly, I think I'm going to wait awhile longer to finish bg3. been working on allowing myself time and space to let my whims flow where they may, and I recognized I was getting stressed for not having finished it in a 'timely manner'
me shaking myself: it's a fucking game!! play it as much or as little as you want!!!
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*writes a song about how poorly she was treated by a much older guy, releases an extended version and MV for it to really show she wished she had known better but accepted that she was still a child and it wasn't her fault*
*turns around and literally dates a child, and puts him in the same position she had been in not even two ears earlier*
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saw wish last night. it was okay but it would have been soooo much better if they kept this concept in. would have been so much more invested in star, and i miss romance in disney movies. a romance between a girl and a STAR would have literally been the cutest thing ever. seriously missed opportunity
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