#crying over every single part of frank again

[frnkiebby]

his stupid pretty smile~🎃

[pumpkinbxtch]

ok so like I just requested so please take your time on this next one, I’m over here asking again alr because you’re response was so nice to my last one it made me feel ok asking again 😭❤️❤️❤️ I’ll be a little more specific with this one <3

Apollo x Fem!Reader, where the reader is a mortal who keeps reincarnating every hundred or so years and Apollo falls in love every single time 🤭 and once again it’s been a 100 or so years, and suddenly he meets her again!!! this can be god!apollo or Lester!apollo bcs honestly there’s so many possibilities with both so I’ll leave that up to you :3

Again take your time with this one and feel free not to even accept it right away!!! Thank you for the last one again and pls have a great day!! YOURE THE BEST ❤️❤️

• ° . ☆ “Free coupons, take one and cry all afternoon”

— apollo x mortal!reader

part ii

Summary: Apollo has literally loved you for years and years and lifetimes. Now that you return to him, that time his crossroads will not be long, but at least he was able to see you and fall in love with you once again. warnings: bad words, yea umm. Haha a/n: I'm so happy you liked what I wrote. It's really very important to me. AND SORRY if I'm late, it's just inspiration. The gods refused to give it to me, but it is here. Kisses.- From the other side of the milky way, María.

The first time, Apollo saw you and without hesitation passed his heart towards you. Oh gods, he had the best weeks of his life, but then he had to let you go. You were a mortal, he couldn't be with you for long without exposing you to danger.

And since he loved you so much, he decided to give up, he forced himself to see more for you than for his need to be with you.

He had already calculated it, it was about 100 years or so to see you again, but throughout those, he changed completely, he had to face a great battle against his father's ego and that of himself. He almost forgot how old and ageless he was, when you spend more than six months fighting for your life, that's how it is. Until that day when he accompanied his now friends to an amusement park, the same ones as always; Will, Nico, Rachel, Meg, and the seven. Ten young adults, one teenager and ONE “apparent” young adult. They were having a great time, actually.

The roller coasters, the ice cream, the sun (him), the kiddie rides that Meg insisted on riding. But Apollo had gotten tired, can a god get tired? Well, he's trying to keep up with so many demigods with ADHD at a fun fair.

He took a seat on one of those wooden benches with faded rainbow paint. The others looked for him and gathered around.

— Apollo! I want to go to the water attraction —  Percy said, holding Annabeth's hand, who was apparently analyzing the map of the place.

— Yes, and then we go to the flying chairs — said Jason, his practically brother. A smile that he had never seen adorned his face, next to him, Leo hung from the blonde's neck.

—Yes, come on, sunny.

—Don't be lazy, I want to go to the carousel.— Meg said, squeezing the dolphin plushie that he had won for her in the shooting game.

Frank handed him his ice cream, and Hazel looked at him for any injuries.

Will and Nico seemed to have moved on, they were very lovey-dovey lately.

—Thank you, Frank. I'm fine —

— If you don't like sharing, I can go get one for you.

Apollo smiled and brushed his brown hair out of his face.

—I'm fine, man. Don't worry.

But he knew that wasn't the case, he felt something in his stomach that wouldn't leave him alone.

Piper and Rachel looked at each other, both seeming to read each other's minds as they discussed something.

—How about we walk Meg to the carousel and come back for you? It sounds fun, a bunch of us riding metal animals going up and down —  Piper said, taking Meg's hand. Rachel nodded and smiled at Apollo.

— Yes, I think it will be enough for you to rest.

No one had any objections, but Apollo had sensed a certain charm in the words of Aphrodite's daughter. Was he missing something?

Everyone advanced and Rachel was the last to set off, she looked at the god knowingly.

— Good luck.

Apollo did not know what those words meant, and he waved goodbye. A remorse for not accompanying them invaded him, but he stayed sitting on the bench. He ruffled his curls anxiously and leaned on his thighs, taking in the great view of the concrete with a cooler of ants carrying breadcrumbs. Then, he felt a hit on the head and an apology.

— Sorry! Are you ok?

He looked up and oh, fuck. It was you? He could feel his heart crushing and feeling on fire. Apollo stood up from the bench.

— I-I'm fine, don't worry.

The last time he had seen you, your eyes were the color of olive, now they were brown, but the look was the same. You gave him a warm smile and placed your hands on your chest.

— Really? —

He nodded and smiled, too.  For you, Apollo's blue eyes became familiar within seconds of seeing them.

— We know each other?

“We've met thousands of times,” he wanted to say, but he couldn't. In other lives, he had told you that he was a god, and you believed him. But the situation in how you had met that day, the hurried manner of your meeting, told him that the meeting with you would not last at all. Even so, seconds or glances were enough for him, he was already in love with you, again.

His heart was immersed in melancholy, and he wanted to hug you.

— Maybe…

You opened your eyes a little and approached him curiously, you smelled like lavender and sunshine, that last one made his stomach flip. You were almost invading his personal space, which made him push his chin back to avoid bumping into your nose.

— I thought that, too. Do you come here often? It's just that I work at one of those food islands. — You told him and stepped back smiling to show him your uniform. You had a cap with the company logo embroidered on it.

— Ahm yes, with… — He thought of Meg and the others. He made a silent apology to Artemis — My sister and my friends.

You widened your smile and dug something into your pants pockets.

Apollo wanted to kiss you.

You hummed and finally took out some papers. Would you give him your number?

You held them out to him.

— Coupons!

Apollo took them gently, your fingers collided with his, and you felt a kind of electricity in your stomach. You let out a nervous laugh.

— Well, see you…— The boy came out of his trance. A name, he wouldn't say Apollo, would he?, but…

—Lester! — You smiled again and waved your hand goodbye.

— See you, Lester.

And you walked away from him, leaving him empty and wanting to take you with him to spend the rest of the afternoon at the fair, to be happy, to be together.

He spread the coupons in the palm of his hand and looked at them. He was able to gain something from his misfortune, at least. Of course, why not? Burgers for everyone.

— Apollo! — Meg's voice made him turn, and he smiled when he saw everyone. It seemed that Will and Nico had found their way back to the others.

Rachel met his gaze, she seemed slightly worried. So at that moment it all became obvious, she knew he would meet you.

Apollo sighed and held up the coupons in his hand.

— are you hungry?

[stinmybubs]

AudioFic Fluff

AN: an audiofic will be fics I base off of songs and audios!

B. Katsuki x AFAB! Reader

"Somethin Stupid" -By Frank Sinatra, and Nancy Sinatra

"I know you stand in line, until you think you have the time to spend an evening with me."

Your class was currently at the Quirk Training Camp. You all were at least trying to cook everyone dinner, sharing laughs, and playing around without a care in the world.

Katsuki couldn't help but stare, every part of you memorized him, he couldn't think of anything more beautiful.

"And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance you wont be leaving with me."

When you and Katsuki snuck off he didn't expect you to have set up a speaker in beautiful clearing in the trees. the moonlight dancing on your face perfectly shaping your features.

"Wanna dance Katsu?"

"And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two."

He held you by your waist, guiding you around the clearing, looking at you with them most adoration he's ever had for a person. He loved the way your smile made him feel, the way you mad him feel.

he coulnd't help it, his mouth moved on his own. This feeling was taking over his body, imagining your futures together he uttered the words.

"And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like..-"

"I love you...y/n"

He could feel you stop moving along with him, your smile fading ever so slightly. His heart dropped looking at the dejected look on your face, you seemed scared, and confused.

"I can see it in your eyes, that you despise the same old lies you heard the night before."

"Katsu...do you really? Do you really mean it? Its not some cruel joke?" Tears began to flow from your eyes, making his heart sink. He hated seeing you cry, he hated hurting you.

"And thought its just a line to you for me it's true, it never seemed so right before."

"I do...I mean it so fucking much, every day I want to say it, every minute or every time I see you! Fuck! you mean so much to me, yer always in my head." he kissed your trails of tears holding you tightly trying his best to make his words true.

You had been confessed to the night before, but it was just an immature joke bye a bunch of class 1-B boys who wanted to make fun of you.

"I practice everyday to find some clever lines to say to make the meaning come true."

From that day on he made it his duty to say those words whenever he could, it didn't matter what you were doing even just passing each other. Hell he didn't even care that others heard, he just wanted you to know he meant every single I love you.

"But I think until I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you."

The two of you, sitting in the same place you had previously danced in, watching the sunset in peace and quiet. Katsuki leaned back, letting his hands hold the weight of his body as he glanced over to you.

You turn to him, grabbing his hand to compare your hand sizes, your eyes curious. He gave you a smirk, intermingling his hands with yours, making sure you couldn't let go of his hand.

Your face flushed, since you couldn't let go you simply lowered your hands and looking back at the sunset clearly not wanting to make any eye contact with Katsuki.

"The time is right your perfume fills my head. The stars get red and oh, the night's so blue."

The silence was killing bakugou, you could feel his hands getting sweatier by the second.

"Katsu, you're gonna end up exploding my hands with how much you're sweating." You giggle, lifting both your hands up again. Oh how he loves your laugh.

"And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like."

"I love you."

Katsuki leans closely, closing the distance between you and him placing his lips onto yours. Your eyes widening in shock as his sudden movements.

"The time is right your perfume fills my head the stars get red and oh, the nights so blue."

You tear up a little bit, finally letting him in leaning further into the kiss your eyes slowly closing as you two loose yourself in each others embrace.

"And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like..-"

"I love you Katsuki."

you too stop kissing for a brief moment, making eye contact, your bodies slowly heating up from all the intense emotions coursing through your bodies.

"I love ya' too, ya idiot." He places his forehead against yours, closing his eyes briefly.

"Well I'm your idiot now." You giggle.

"Yeah ya' are."

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

[thevillainswhore]

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

Pairing: Stalker!IT/tech!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

(snippets/mentions of Carter Bazien x F!Reader and Ending, Beginnings!Frank x F!Reader)

Summary: Bucky, the IT and technology expert of your office, has been secretly obsessed since the moment he set his sights on sensitive, naive, little you. But, your only fault is your repetitive ability to get your heartbroken by fuck boys. So, naturally, he has to do whatever it takes to make you see he’s perfect for you… right?

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: Stalking, mentions of smut (p in v, male masturbation) violence, grievous bodily harm, dark elements, possessive behaviour, hacking, reader is very naive, Bucky is a hell of a warning here (will add more with the upcoming chapters) PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS - THIS IS A DARK FIC!!!

A/N: We are finally here!! 😭 incase anyone doesn’t remember, I teased this fic a longgg time ago and it makes me so happy to announce its now live 🥹 as mentioned before this is a multi part story - I’m aiming for 3 parts but it could be more with me who knows 🤣 I also changed the my moodboard bc my last one did not include inclusivity and that is the goal here 💗

So now onto my appreciations ❤️ first of all I need to thank @mickeyhenrys for helping with the fic title - she’s a genius and I’m so thankful! Next, I need to thank @sgt-seabass for the help with the IT/cyber security aspect of things - she was absolutely amazing with providing all the information I needed and I’m super grateful for it. And last and certainly not least… my beautiful @rookthorne. my god I can’t even begin to thank you for all the help you’ve given me on this. To beta’ing this fic, helping me a lot with my moodboard even when I was a pain the ass 🤣 and just supporting me in general with my crazy ideas - this fic sprouted from our brainstorming and looking back from then to where this has flourished now is amazing 💗 thank you for being the beautiful person you are and inspiring me to grow as a writer. I love you so much 🥹

Now onto the fic, please enjoy the start of this crazy, wild ride and good luck - you’re gonna need it… 👀

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

Bucky glances over at you through the window that seperates the two of you, gushing about your new date already. It took you a week, maybe two, to get over the last guy. And here you were, yet again, in the same conversation with the same co-worker, debating about which dress you were gonna wear tonight. 

Did it matter anyway? 

The same shit happens every time. You go out with a new prize idiot, get laid, wait for them to text you back (spoiler: they never do), and you sit there, crying and wondering where you went wrong. 

It was frustrating. 

You only ever go out with the conventional ‘fuck boy’. The same three-piece suits and quiffed hair that looks like it’s been cemented to their skull with product and arrogance, both in equal measure. 

When were you going to get it? You choose the wrong type of guy, every single time. And yet, you wonder why they never stick around long enough to make things official, or to settle down. 

You were gullible; so naive.

The perfect girl that Bucky has kept his sights set on from that very first day that you begun working in the same office.

That’s when you walked into my life, Angel. 

It wasn’t all that new for it to rain in New York. Heels clicked and splashed through the deep puddles of the pavement, and leather briefcases bumped against each other in the chaos of the crowds as Bucky made his way to work.

He found he didn’t so much mind the repetitive routine – his life had never been exciting. It gave him peace of mind to hear all the usual sounds and to witness the usual frenzied rush from his run down apartment all the way to his office.

 

He liked his job, truly. It’s what he’s always excelled best in and it’s what has kept him in his comfort zone. There was never no real need to talk to people as all communication or pleas for help were addressed in an email. Those who didn’t email always dragged themselves to his office and slammed their technology down on his desk, grunt or curse at him, before primly walking back out again. 

That would anger most people – the blatant disregard for his existence and the treatment similar to that of a scolded dog, but Bucky’s been there for ten years now, and over those many, many days, he had gotten used to it. 

It was a bonus, however, that nobody questioned him once on how he managed to fix every problem with their device with so little information as a curse and a demand to get it working.  

Pushing the door open, Bucky expects to be walking into a normal day at the office. Paying no notice to the hustle and bustle of his colleagues at work.

That is until he’s stopped in his tracks. 

The surprise of seeing the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on; a woman that was sunshine and everything he dreamed of personified standing in the lobby. He watched you speak to anyone that paused to say hello. 

The errant thought of such an innocent bunny smiling for all that gave her attention made his cock twitch in his pants. He wanted to give you that attention that you craved.

Never had he been so entranced by and enamoured in anyone. He thinks he could stay like this forever, almost blown over by his new found obsession that made his hands shake and the whole volume of blood in his body to rush to his rapidly swelling cock.

That obsession called and rooted for him to take the few steps and cover the distance to reach you, when he was abruptly shunted forward by another body slamming into his back. 

He spun around, ready to curse the person for being so oblivious, when he saw Brock. “Hey man, why the fuck were you just stand- Oh, I take it you’ve seen the new hire, hot isn’t she?” 

The predatory smile on Brock’s mouth physically made him recoil.  Looking Brock up and down, clear disgust in the sneer and glare of his expression, Bucky turned and stalked away towards the stairs in a bid to head to his office. 

His closest safety net, the office where he spent his days, came into view and he slammed open the door, only to fall back onto it, his breath coming in sharp pants. Wildly, he glances around him and then out of the blinds that shroud his office from onlookers. Nobody was paying attention to his moment of crisis and doubt, except, he finds you glancing over your cubicle wall. 

You send a small wave, one of which Bucky can’t believe is directed at him, and you smile broadly – a kind gesture. He can’t remember the last time someone smiled at him like that. 

Bucky hastily looks away and strides over to his desk, adjusting the sudden tent of his slacks before he turns to sit in his desk chair to start his day. 

Who the fuck is she? 

The day starts slow, each task as mundane as the last, when you finally get a chance to talk to Sasha, your favourite co-worker. “I really think he’s going to be the one this time.” You can’t stop grinning, wiggling in your seat from excitement to be going out with Frank this weekend – the party that you met him at still fresh in your mind. 

“Girl, you said that last time! With... What was his name again?” Sasha groans, her chair swivelling so she could face you fully. You stare at her with a furrow in your brow while she stumbles to remember the name. “Chad? No, I don’t think that was it… Chris?” 

“His name was Carter.” There's heartbreak evident in the way your voice turns to a solemn whisper when speaking of him, and your eyes start to water as you begin to think about how your previous date left you high and dry after your night together – only to ghost you the next morning. Your lips start to tremble at the memory. “And I thought we said we weren’t going to speak about him anymore.” 

Sasha notices your dejected expression. “Shit honey, l’m sorry. I just want you to be happy.” You nod once, wiping your cheek with your palm. “Car-” She hesitates, and then frowns. “He-who-shall-not-be-named was a rich asshole, he doesn’t deserve you and he can choke on a dick.”

The crass statement shocks you. “Sasha!” you admonish, glancing around the office for anyone milling about that may have overheard. Although you were never one to bad mouth, you couldn’t help the small giggles spilling out at her vulgar words. 

Sasha’s abrupt and scandalous nature has always been the exact opposite to your docile character, but she was the first true friend you had made in the office – always looking out for you, taking care of you, and with your doe-eyed persona, the men can’t help but desire to have a piece of you. 

It is a blessing that she always knew how to pick you back up when you were down, no matter how many times you would come to her in tears over the same problem. 

“Anyway, I promise this one is different,” you promise. The sadness that gripped you a second before fades with the humorous nature of your friend. Sasha shoots you a look. “I didn’t even match with him on Tinder! We met at that party–the one I told you about, Daphne’s?”

“I remember,” Sasha murmurs, nodding. 

The memory flashes across your mind, and you shake your head slightly. “He looked so silly with the little tiara on his head. He came up to me and we talked a little–said I looked really pretty and that we should meet up sometime,” you explain, almost imploringly – you desperately want her to understand that it was a good thing. “It’s what you wanted, isn’t it–for me to get myself out there?”

Pride makes your voice strong, unwavering in it’s conviction. Stepping out of your your social circle is a huge step, and by the softening in Sasha’s gaze, she thinks so, too. 

The night you met Frank swirls in your mind, clouding it as you stare dreamily at the wall beside Sasha’s head.

The party was in full swing – loud cheers and clinking bottles and glasses filled the night air, while the pounding bass music rattled your chest. Your friend, Daphne, had left to go smoke in the corner, abandoning you to your own devices by the pool. 

Fairy lights had been strung up from pole to pole above you and you were admiring them, when Frank caught you by surprise.

“Hey doll,” he greeted, and you glanced at the six foot Prince Charming in a wool coat and tiny tiara. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before. What’s a pretty little thing like you doing all alone in the corner?” 

Frank had thrown you a dashing smile and you found you couldn’t maintain eye contact with his intense gaze – you swore you fell in love on the spot.

To say you were flustered would be an understatement. “M-Me?” 

Frank almost looked amused. “Well, just between me and you dollface… I don’t see anyone else nearly as pretty as you here.”  

As the night went on, Frank continued to sweep you off your feet. You genuinely had no clue how desperate you made him over your sweet little dress riding up your thighs when you fiddled with the the hem. Or when you started to feel shy and you crossed your arms to try and hide yourself – only to squeeze your tits together. It gave him the perfect image of how they would look bouncing up and down on his cock. 

The way he stared at you so sweetly, acting as the perfect gentleman made the butterflies in your stomach swoop and flutter up a storm. You had planned a date with him at the end of the night and you were beyond excited. 

Snapping out of your daydream, you focus back into the present, aware enough of your surroundings to see Sasha clicking her fingers sharply in front of your face making you blink. “Hello? There she is!” She sits back and rolls her eyes. “Jesus girl, I was calling your name for ages. Where did that cute head of yours wander off to this time?” 

“Sorry! I just got caught up in Frank again,” you sigh, dreamily. 

Sasha scoffs. “C’mon, he can’t be that cute. Show me a photo of him.”

You clap your hands and squeal, rushing to search through your bag for your phone to show her just how lucky you are to have someone as wonderful as Frank interested in you. Scrolling through the photos you’d taken that night, you finally find the one you couldn’t stop admiring; him with that silly tiara sitting atop his soft, fluffy hair that you could imagine running your hands through all day, wrapped in a snug jacket with a cigarette between his fingers and blowing out smoke the side of his perfect lips. 

His eyes fixed intently on one thing. You. 

The image sends a shiver down your spine, and before you get too carried away, you turn your screen to face Sasha. 

After a whole minute of considertory silence, she finally speaks up, her voice aweful. “Holy fucking shit, babe. I wanna lick his face.” 

Your jaw drops. “Sasha, oh my god, you can’t just say that!” Laughter threatens to bubble over and your cheeks heat in response.

“Watch me,” Sasha teases, and you both dissolve into laughing fits.

Bucky is seething. He doesn’t think his teeth could be grating together any harder; grinding to dust until his jaw clicks. While your laugh is melodic to his ears, and his heart leaps and bounds at the sound of your voice, even muted from his vantage point of his office, he saw how upset you looked when your co-worker mentioned him. 

Carter. 

Even thinking his name gets his blood boiling. But, he wills himself to calm down. To just breathe. There was no point in getting worked up over that spoiled prick anymore, he’s dealt with after what he did to you –  the very lengths Bucky had to go to get that video Carter took on his phone deleted. 

You, the not so innocent whore on your knees for someone who wasn’t him, begging for Carter’s dick down your throat until you were suffocating; saliva drooling from your chin and dripping down onto your heaving tits.

Bucky can feel his cock twitching in his trousers at the thought of you being so submissive. Pity floods him – you didn’t even realise how Carter had not only ignored your texts that morning, but he had also planned to send that precious gift you had so willingly given to him, to all of his friends and ultimately ruin your life.  Leaving it in shambles for you to pick up the debris of your professional career and sociality with so little care.

Bucky wasn’t the most pleased with you after seeing that video in the first place. It was such a foolish decision to trust and allow that sleazebag to film you. 

He took it upon himself to remove every trace of the video. After all, he was a good person, what a man should be.  

Such a good man that he paid a visit to Carter, leaving him with a few of his own gifts. A black eye, fractured skull, and a break in his right femur that may, or may not have, resulted in him taking residence in the local intensive care unit fighting for his life.

“All I want is for you to be happy. And who better to make you happy than me?” Bucky wonders quietly at his desk, the door to his office wide open so he can hear you chatting to your friend. “I would treat you so good–dote on you every hour of every day, never let you out of my sight, either.”

The next train of thought is one he will not voice aloud, but the vision of him fucking you hard and rough, just as you deserve, until you cried for more – for all of what he could give. 

“You’re better off with me,” Bucky grumbles. His lips turn down into a grimace and he glares at the cubicle wall that separated you from him. “You just don’t know it yet, bunny.”

Nevertheless, here you are, flaunting your latest boy toy off to your friend. 

The pencil he’s been tapping absentmindedly on his desk stops suddenly and small pieces of wood splinters by the second until it snaps in half,  almost capturing your attention – head whipping side to side in search of the noise until you give up and go back to your conversation. 

Pain laces through his hand when the wood scratches his palm, reddening lines etching themselves in retaliation for his daydreaming.

He’s got to be more careful with his frustrations. 

You have hardly ever looked in his direction, let alone spoken a single word to him. Why would you? Not many people did, if he is honest with himself. His shoulder-length dark hair that is always covered by the same black cap in combination with his piercing and brooding stare didn’t give off the best impression, or invite conversation. 

Bucky was not a popular man, even thinking back to his early school years. He was always considered the loner, the nerd, the creep. No sisters or brothers to grow up with; distant parents who paid no mind to him or bothered to foster and nuture his affinities. 

The lonliness of his childhood paved the way to the depths of his desperation. Intelligence was something he had an abundance of, and weaponising the skills of his cyber skills was an underutilised talent of every one of his past employs. 

It never assuades or lessens the burden of need for affection. A craving that naws like a festering wound in his barren heart, for something that could make up for the miserable nights of self reflection and doubt; wondering why he was never enough for his parents, or popular at school where the girls would fawn over him.

Something for his own; to be just his and unable to be taken from him, not by anybody. 

I’m right here, Angel. You just don’t ever see me. 

Bucky has done nothing short of pine after you from afar; stealing glances and furtive wanders to get close in any way he can. 

He knows you wouldn’t go out of your way to talk to him – you don’t run in the same circles and you are definitely not socially compatible. That doesn’t stop him from imagining how soft your skin must be, or how flawlessly your body would melt against his as he railed you into his bed. Your heavenly little cries of his name, breathless chants pleading him to “Keep going!” and “Don’t stop!” never leave his mind. They fuel his needy desires at night until he can get the real thing, whimpering your name until his voice is hoarse as he fucks his fist over and over and over – the thought that it was your hand or your pillowy lips guiding him into ecstacy pushes him to the very brink of insanity. 

The dreams will do for now, he thinks privately as he stares at you through the glass pane of his office wall, straight to your cubicle, the sound of your laughter echoing down the hall and muffled through the glass. He’s managed for the last six months since he first saw you, it’s fine. 

Impatience chips away at his resolve, though, and his fuse is shortening by the day.  No matter what it takes, no matter who you think is good for you right now, Bucky will have you, and when he does… He’s not ever letting you go.

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Rose, Lemon and Berry from the HC ask game with all three of your boys <3

Thank you for requesting, dear anon! I hope you like what I came up with :)

Rose: What part of falling/being in love do they get the most joy out of?

Ahhh this was a hard one to fill but I really enjoyed it :) I wrote 2 things for each because I’m indecisive! 

Frank

There’s so many things that he enjoys about being in a relationship, this man is not looking for simple notches on his belt. (I know he has had one night stands but CMON y’all. Taking Beth’s kid out for breakfast? If the Amy stuff never happened, he wouldn’t have left.)

I think he enjoys two things most: having someone in his life to protect and take care of, and being able to imagine a future again. 

Frank is obviously an Acts of Service™️ kinda dude, but like he clearly enjoys doing things for others just because! 

If there is a way he can help someone, especially someone he cares about, he will. I think it’s just as much to make him feel good as it is to make you feel good. He wants to do something kind with his hands rather than cause more hurt. 

Also, he just loves being a husband and having a family. (Helping Sarah and the kids, taking Amy in, it’s so clear he wants the family thing again)

I don’t know if this is a consequence of his own tragedy but he’s so willing to play the father figure. I don’t necessarily think he’d want to have more kids of his own, but I think domestic life with a significant other would be so enjoyable for him and allow him to heal. 

Matt

Companionship and trust. 

This is absolutely a symptom of his trauma but he is so overjoyed to have someone who actually enjoys being around him. 

He cannot understand why, but the fact that you keep coming back despite all his flaws makes his heart happy every single day. 

He just enjoys the idea that someone out there is thinking about him, waiting for him. 

Also, the idea that someone trusts him wholeheartedly after finding out what he can do and what he’s done, he can’t fathom it. And once he’s obtained it, he could cry. He’s not used to someone having so much faith in him. 

Sure, you worry about him, but you still want to be with him despite his work after hours. It’s more than he could ask for. 

Mikey

Having someone to care for him and expose him to life outside of his family. 

It sounds really selfish, but we all know he’s anything but a selfish partner. 

It’s been so long since comfort was something within his reach and you just make it seem so simple. Every time you wrap your arms around him, it feels like his knees might give out. 

It’s like you can read his mind, you’re always there to hold him but you can tell when he needs space. If he’s not ready or is unable to talk about something, you never pressure him

It’s a genuine love he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

And the weight of the family business gets heavier by the day, so having someone who isn’t wrapped up in all that constantly is such a breath of fresh air.  

He gets caught up in celebrating the little things with you. Like a good cup of coffee or a pretty sunset. 

Lemon: What is something seemingly inconsequential that can put them in a bad mood for the rest of the day?

Frank

Missing breakfast. 

I think on some level he’s used to it, living in strenuous conditions overseas for so long and everything, but it never fails to piss him off. 

This man is hungry all the time. He’s not picky, but food is a must. 

He also thrives on a strict routine. 

So missing the very first meal of the day is just that much worse than any other meal because it also throws his routine completely out of whack. 

He will be so grumpy, drinking his coffee on an empty stomach with a scowl firmly planted on his face. 

I think he’d be easily appeased though. If you brought him takeout or a snack, he’d get over it pretty quickly. 

Hangry Frank, my beloved. 

Matt

Unseasonably bad weather. Especially snow and big storms. 

He can sense it coming, but that doesn’t make it any less shitty on his senses. 

Snow makes things muffled and I would assume rain is just a lot. If it’s loud to someone with normal hearing, it must be unbearable to him some days.  

As an autistic person, rain, wind, and snow are just the fucking worst to be out in, even for a short little walk to work. I imagine it would be similar for Matt. 

He spends the rest of the day so miserable because of the cold or his damp clothes and it just ruins everything. 

He would definitely give you the sad puppy eyes when he got home and just open his arms for a hug. 

His bad day would be forgotten if you wrapped him in a soft blanket and pet his hair. Hair pets solve most of his problems. 

Mikey

Being forced out of bed urgently. 

This one is a lil generic but hear me out. 

I feel like Mikey’s morning routine has become a little safe haven for him, and it’s a huge indicator of his stress levels as well as a designated time for relaxation so he doesn’t trigger a seizure. 

If he wakes up late or is immediately forced to handle some family BS, it just immediately forces him into an anxious spiral about his own health. 

If it does end up causing a seizure, I think his self-consciousness and justified grumpiness would last the whole week at least. Poor thing. 

I think some comforting actions that he’d appreciate would be assisting with things he didn’t want to do the rest of the day? Maybe refilling his meds or making/ordering food. 

He’s absolutely a quality time and acts of service guy, so showering him with attention and helping him out however you can would definitely get him through his bad mood. 

Berry: What makes them happier than perhaps it should? Do others know about it?

This is peak HC, outta left field shit. But I am so confident about them 😂

Frank:

Seeing a dog get really excited over something silly. Like chasing their own tail, or seeing a shadow. 

Frank just enjoys dogs and their innocence so much. Anytime he sees one of them get genuinely excited for next to no reason, it brightens his day. 

I think very few people get to see Frank’s real smile but his partner definitely would. And he might not verbally express how happy dogs make him, but it wouldn’t be hard to figure out. 

Matt

This man enjoys hearing the birds in the morning. 

This is absolutely me projecting bc I love looking at birds but they have such beautiful and unique sounds, but I think he would love distinguishing between them. 

Any day he gets to walk past a green area with some songbirds is a good day. 

I think he would definitely share this with someone he cared about, but he might have to work up to it. (Y’all know how he is with vulnerability.)

Mikey

Little things that make Michael happy? Romance novels and soap operas

They’re so cheesy and he loves it. His life is so dramatic that sometimes it’s nice to just be dropped into a whirlwind love story that moves at lightning speed. 

Not to mention the drama in soap operas far outweighs his life. At least he’s never fallen down an elevator shaft!

I think he’d be too embarrassed to tell his SO but would love to read/watch with them if they asked.

[sam-loves-seb]

HellO hi I need to read every single one of the works you listed in the worksinthedocs list because you are literally my fave writer in the history of fanfiction BUT I especially need to know about the babysitting Liam one and the magic au one!! What are they? What era are they from? Can you share a tiny piece of them please?

Thanks ily

omg hi hi hello, you are so incredibly kind thank you 💙💙 in a perfect world someday i will actually finish everything in the worksinthedocs list but in this world i will try my best !

for now i will offer a bit of insight into two of them under the cut

okay so:

babysitting liam:

the babysitting liam fic is slightly misleading considering he's like, twelve in this fic (it's post-canon) and doesn't actually need a babysitter, but the vibe still stands

it's set in a post-canon world where liam lives with lip, tami, and fred (in a very cramped in-law apartment attached to tami's parents house) and there's not a lot of room, or privacy, and fred's teething so nobody is sleeping, and Big Brother Ian swoops in and tells liam he can spend the weekend at his and mickey's apartment if he needs a break from lip-tami bickering and the baby crying all the time

(it's not that liam doesn't like living there, he just needs a break)

so essentially it's like a 3-4 chapter fic of liam spending the weekend with ian and mickey and doing fun things together and generally having quality brother (and brother-in-law) bonding time

and mickey pretends to hate the idea of liam invading their space for a whole weekend, but he's a softie, and next to ian, liam is his favorite gallagher sibling, so of course he caves and ends up having a good time in the end

here's a snippet (in case the fic never sees the light of day)

“How’s the kid?” Mickey asks, grabbing his controller again and exiting out of his game. He pulls up Netflix. “Liam?” Ian asks, and Mickey nods. “He’s… fine.” Mickey quirks a brow. “Fine?” “Yeah,” Ian sighs, climbing over the back of the couch and more or less falling into Mickey’s side. “Fred’s teething. I don’t think anyone’s really sleeping over there.” “Poor kid.” “He’ll be fine. I mean, at some point the teething stops.” “I meant Liam.” “Oh.” Mickey presses a soft kiss to Ian’s hairline. “Kid needs to sleep.” Ian wiggles his way under Mickey’s arm, tucking his face in his husband’s neck. He presses his lips against the warm skin, just holding them there for a minute. He breathes Mickey in, the faint smell of sweat and cigarettes mixing with the fading deodorant from this morning. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move. Mickey’s hand sneaks under the hem of Ian’s t-shirt, his thumb gently stroking arcs across Ian’s hip. He gives him a minute, lets him breathe—but he knows his husband too well. “What?” Mickey almost whispers. Ian sighs quietly. “Like you said…” He blinks and his eyelashes brush against Mickey’s neck. “Kid needs to sleep.” Mickey pulls back just far enough to look at Ian’s face. His eyes narrow. “…What did you do?” “Nothing.” “Uh huh,” Mickey says, tongue in cheek, almost biting back a smile. “What did you do?” Ian shrugs, suddenly looking everywhere but at Mickey. “I… may have told Liam he could stay with us this weekend.”

...yeah, so.

i have the first chapter written and part of the second so who knows what'll happen with that eventually

anyway--

magic au

i have no snippets of this to share so have some random thoughts from my unhinged 1k outline that sits in this doc:

this one is set in an world (s1 timeline) where people can have magical powers, but they're rare, so when ian first discovers that he's one of those few people who has magical abilities, he mostly keeps it to himself. lip's known since they were pretty young, helping ian to develop it and train it, and ian tells fiona eventually, but she claims she already knew

none of the other gallagher siblings have powers, and this has always confused ian until he realized his biological father isn't frank, but a guy who lives in a cushy northside house with a successful career and life--no doubt products of some kind of power--and then it clicks

anyway, life largely remains the same as canon for ian and co. because he's only 15 and he still has a long way to go with mastering his abilities and everything, and then: he meets mickey

and ian's powers? well, they're somewhere along the lines of mind control.

and yeah maybe he was going to use magic to get mickey to give back the gun that he stole, and maybe he has a crisis about whether or not he accidentally did use it to make mickey fuck him instead of beat the shit out of him (he didn't), but it all works out in the end because mickey gave the gun back anyways

and mickey keeps ian grounded, because yeah he shows up to the store for a booty call when ian asks, but he always tells ian not to kiss him, and though the rejection stings a little, it reassures ian that mickey is of his own mind when they're hooking up and he's not somehow accidentally under ian's control--because how else is he supposed to explain mickey fucking milkovich suddenly jumping his bones every five seconds when a week ago he wanted to kill him

anyway.

long story short, mickey ultimately finds out about ian's powers after kash catches them, after mickey comes back to the store the next day, after mickey mocks him and tries to rob him again and kash fires one bullet into the fucking drywall, barely missing mickey's head

his finger's on the trigger and his aim's a little better, and that's when ian drops what he's doing and uses his powers

(probably should have mentioned before this that kash already knew about them, something about them having secrets between them (ew) whatever)

ian stops kash from shooting mickey in the store--even though kash is fighting the hold ian has on him--and our story starts (ends?) there because that's as far as i got with that one

so, yeah.

if you're somehow still reading this long ass post, thanks for staying 'til the end. come bully me talk to me about these or any other half-formed fics/ideas from my worksinthedocs list anytime.

[white-collar-cannibal]

i've got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold

hey uh. sneeg experiences the aftermath of charlie's sixty hour gay people mind project. made a joke about this in the tags once. and then. and then. includes: internalized homophobia (vague), brief hallucination

Charlie opens his mouth once, closes it, pauses a long time, then spits out, “Sneeg, you’re my brother, and I love you, yeah?”

“Wh- Bad opener. What is it? What’s wrong?”

“No, it’s- there’s nothing wrong. I’m just- I-,” He pauses again, scrunches his face, and relaxes it. “Is Frank your boyfriend?” and Sneeg doesn’t know what’s wrong, but he feels like he’s going to vomit, and Charlie keeps talking like he can’t tell. “I didn’t want to assume if the answer was no and- I trust you, you know, I’m just scared. I didn’t even know about- that you could be… like that until like last week and- you know, I don’t know, I don’t know why it’d be a problem, ‘cause it’s your business and it’s off set but it feels bad to think about and, God I’m scared for you two. I don’t know, man- whoa, hey, are you okay?” 

Sneeg wants the ground to open up beneath him and swallow him whole. He really does. It’s like all the air in the room suddenly weighs so much, and it’s taking so much effort to just breathe. He doesn’t know either, about anything, doesn’t know how to pick apart what feels like every single emotion happening in his body at once: fear and anger and disgust and flickering hope and pure, pure confusion. The answer is no, but his mouth says, “You- you can’t tell anyone, Charlie, please,” and he’s crying, he’s crying and he doesn’t know why.

“Oh no, no, of course, hey, come here.” Charlie wraps his arms around Sneeg, and Sneeg presses his face into his shoulder and sobs, even though part of him hates Charlie right now for having brought this up, for robbing him of the chance to live in perfect ignorance forever. Every thing he thought was fine has been dragged, by the ankle, down a deep dark hole he doesn’t know if he can pull them out of. All the casual touch, the want to be alone together, the calling of the mouth to bite and rip and tear, revealed for what they must have been the whole time, the gut-twisting fact of it: something in his brain went off, saying, "You can do that???", and he knows he wants the answer to be yes so bad. 

What the fuck does he actually do now? If Showfall finds out, they’ll know whatever’s wrong with him is incurable, it’s in his bones and will never be rid from him, because he wants it so bad. He wants all the things he’s seen young people in love do in shows, holding hands and kissing on the lips and sleeping in the same bed. God, he feels so stupid even thinking about it. He’ll never have it, really, because Showfall will find out, and they’ll lock him in that little room for a month again, or something worse he hasn’t ever seen - because whatever instinct in his brain makes him feel wrong to want this came from them - and he’d take anything over that, cut off his hand that would reach to touch, take out his eye that would look with longing. He just- he can’t let them know. It’s not even a question. It’s not an argument, not a dialogue or a debate, just the flat neutral fact of the matter. Yes, it hurts to want, but Sneeg knows exactly how long you can live without, how long it takes to starve, and he cannot even conceive of the alternative.

It’s fine. It’s just the fact of the matter. He’s fine. He does not, three days from now, stand perfectly still for hours on end in the cabin because he can see the little light in the corner of his eye from the camera rolling, even when he’s gotten no instructions, even when the lights go out. He’s fine. He’s so fine.

[unstablebutsane]

i actually didn't want to cry right now, but both joongdunk and jokezo makes me want to so here i am.

my last commentary..

first of all, zo's behavior (him trying to pull away joke from this situation) is understandable. in my point of view, its like zo have been way too focus on working hard to make his parents be proud of him only for him to realize that he should have more focus to his parents..

because what's the use of these achievements if his father won't see it anymore? what's with all of these hardwork if the reason why he keep working will be gone?

although im so sad for joke in this response, as he find himself wanting to take care of zo every single time. joke's commitment in taking care of zo is commendable. i would want someone to take care of me like joke did honestly.

zo's mom and joke's dad have the same problem; expressing their love towards their children. finally, i thank for the directors for not letting this situation slide and have the time to fix the family problem before the series end. i love how frank jokezo are in fighting for each other in front of the families. i love how vocal they are in making them understand that what they need is words of affirmation.

i just love how this is not rush at all. i love how they solve problems quickly but not feeling rush at all. i love how they went back to the night they got their first kiss and redo it all over again but now with certainty of feelings. i love how vocal zo is in wanting joke to be part of his life forever.

i love how the show ends.

love how zo realized that his life doesn't end in losing the scholarship with joke being there, always... always remind zo that he is worth it no matter what path he takes on and no matter whether he had those achievements or not. joke have been a great emotional support to zo and I love how in the end he realize that he shouldn't look down on himself and instead boost his confidence and self esteem.

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

The Other Evans Girl [Part Thirty Four]

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauder’s Era]

Pairing: Sirius Black x Original Female Character, Sirius Black x Daisy Evans, James Potter x Lily Evans

Characters: Sirius Black, Original Female Character, Daisy Evans, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, Marlene McKinnon, Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Peter Pettigrew, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix LeStrange, Walburga Black, Orion Black, Jasper Thicknesse, Barty Crouch Jr, Mulciber, Walden McNair

Word Count: 3454

Rating: Mature

Summary: Hogwarts is a safe haven, a home for many, but it’s often a place where heartache, love and complex emotions dwell and none know that better than the Marauders. Lily Evans just wants to make it out as a successful witch though the oncoming war and the ongoing advances of James Potter threaten that. Daisy Evans, her twin, has other goals. Join the Evans sisters as they make their way through Hogwarts, prepare for war and eventually find love.

Tags/ Warnings: Hogwarts, Friends, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Marauder’s Era, Teenage Angst, Babies, Weddings, Dating, Crying, Loss of Virginity, First Wizarding War, Love, Kissing, Teenagers, James Potter is a bit of a dick, Hogsmeade, 1970s, Fighting, Loss of Parents, Grief, Babies, Injuries, Gore, Harm, Christmas,  The Potter’s Mansion // Daisy’s Dress // NYE Lily’s Dress // NYE Daisy’s Dress // Lily’s Ring // Daisy’s Ring

Notes: Okay so I’ve been working on updating this and I’ve finally gone through all the chapters already written before I start writing more. It’s changed a lot so I’ve decided it’s just better to completely re-upload it.  

If you want tagging let me know

LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST // LINK TO ALL PARTS

After Remus had gone to bed Daisy and Sirius decided it was probably best if they went to their retrospective bedrooms and tried to catch up on whatever sleep they could manage. And after a few kisses goodbye, which admittedly took longer than either of them planned, Daisy left Sirius at the bottom of the dormitory stairs watching her with an adoring smile as she disappeared around the spiral.

Daisy’s heart was still thudding in her chest as she climbed towards her room still thinking about the dark-haired boy at the bottom. Her boyfriend. Sirius was her boyfriend, and she had never felt so happy because after months of wondering, worrying and trying to convince herself they were better as friends they were finally together. She was who he wanted to be with, her, and she still couldn’t quite believe it.

As she crept into the dormitory she realised just how cold the morning air was around her not that her bunkmates were impervious to the cold as they were all tucked up in their beds blissfully unaware of Daisy who had padded quietly through the room and jumped into bed still awash with excitement. Daisy lay in her bed for a moment, recapping the night over and over in her mind, reliving it all as if it was all happening again and as she thought about Sirius her eyes drifted shut, a smile on her face.

Sirius, however, could not sleep because if it wasn’t his excitement keeping him awake it was his friend. Though Remus looked dog tired, his eyes growing more sunken and purple the longer he remained conscious, he had waited for Sirius to walk through the door and immediately bombarded him with questions. Sirius, who was also tired, managed to keep himself awake to answer every single thing his friend threw at him until finally he felt like he couldn’t keep his eyes open much longer and he said, ‘Moony, let’s call it a night eh?’ 'Sorry,’ Remus said bashfully, 'I guess I didn’t realise how excited I was for the two of you to actually get together.’ 'And I thought I was the one who was supposed to be overjoyed eh?’ Sirius chuckled, settling down in his bed. Remus paused, he was still sitting up, watching Sirius worriedly as he asked, ‘you are though, right? I mean you’re not going to do anything daft are you?’ 'No Moony,’ Sirius said rolling his eyes. Remus nodded. 'Good, good,’ he replied, shuffling down in his bed allowing the two to fall quiet for a moment before he asked, ‘how are you going to tell everyone? I mean Prongs won’t be happy you were able to ask an Evans out five times quicker than him.’ 'I’m sure Lily can find a way to comfort him,’ Sirius quipped, 'besides I don’t know if we have to think of that just yet.’ 'Why?’ Remus asked, pushing himself onto his elbow so that he could see Sirius who was staring up at his canopy.

'Well I don’t know if we want to tell everyone just yet,’ Sirius said.  'For god’s sake,’ Remus sighed, forcing Sirius to roll over and look at him with a scowl on his face as he hissed, ‘don’t be like that!

‘I’m not being like anything you’re not playing this like a game are you?’ Remus asked.

‘No I’m not,’ Sirius sulked, ‘in fact, I’m fucking terrified I’m going to mess it up. I really love her mate.’ 'I know,’ Remus said shaking his head, 'sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.’ 'You didn’t,’ Sirius said, waving him off with a sigh, ‘I guess I just wanna make sure she’s okay. So, as far as I’m concerned I’m going to let her call the shots y'know?’ 'Yeah, I get it,’ Remus smiled, ‘though don’t think you’ve got much to worry about for what it’s worth. She’s crazy about you.’

And before Sirius could think of what to say back he could hear the faint sound of snoring as his friend fell asleep, unable to fight the fatigue any longer. Sirius succumbed too soon after.

✵✵✵

When he awoke the dormitory was empty which wasn’t a surprise as given that when he checked his clock and found that it was half-past eleven which explained everyone’s absence. James would no doubt be training, Peter would be at the gobstones tournament he had been rabbiting on about for most of the week and Remus would be with Madam Pomfrey, who liked to double check on him the morning following a change.  Figuring there wasn’t much reason to lounge around in bed he got up and changed so that he could head downstairs only as he got to the bottom step he found Daisy sitting on the girl’s staircase, her elbows on her knees propping her head up. At the sound of his approach she looked up, smiling when she realised who it was, before quickly coming over to meet him. Fortunately they were hidden away from the bustle of the common room by the thick stone wall which meant that she was able to wrap her arms around his neck, allowing him to hold her by the waist as she leant up and kissed him tenderly. Sirius’ stomach fluttered slightly as she pulled away watching him with sparkling green eyes.

‘Good morning to you too,’ Sirius grinned. ‘Morning,’ she smiled back, ‘finally decided to climb out of bed huh?’ ‘If I’d have known you were waiting for me I would’ve got up a little earlier,’ Sirius teased. ‘I wasn’t waiting,’ Daisy rebutted though she smiled as Sirius raised an eyebrow, ‘okay maybe I was but I wanted to talk to you before…’ ‘Before?’ Sirius asked. ‘Before everybody harangues us,’ Daisy said. ‘Ah,’ Sirius said. ‘I just,’ Daisy sighed dropping her gaze. Sirius waited patiently, not missing the look on her face which was now absent of the happiness that had only just been there. ‘Come on babe,’ Sirius said, ‘whatever it is just tell me.’

‘I just…I don’t want you to get the wrong idea,’ Daisy started. Sirius looked as if he was going to stay something but she soldiered on, ‘I’m really happy we’re together. Honestly, I am.’

‘Okay,’ Sirius said, as she bit her lip nervously.

‘It’s just that well, up until yesterday we sort of looked as if we were with two other people. And I know people have been whispering about me and Lily since Christmas, Lily even more so now that she and James are together-’ ‘You don’t want to tell people we’re together,’ Sirius finished. Daisy looked at him meekly and nodded.

‘Okay,’ he replied without deliberation. ‘Okay?’ she asked perplexed. ‘Yeah, if that’s what you want then okay,’ he stated, ‘personally, I couldn’t give a monkeys what the gossips of Hogwarts think but I get it.’ ‘You do?’ she asked hopefully. ‘You’ve had a lot going on besides this way we get to enjoy it a little more. Just the two of us,’ he smiled kissing her forehead. ‘Well and Remus,’ Daisy giggled. ‘Okay but he doesn’t get to kiss you like this deal?’ Sirius said leaning in and kissing her. ‘I don’t know about that,’ she mumbled into his lips, allowing him to push her back until she was boxed in against the cold stone wall, only breaking apart as they heard the sound of someone approaching.

Luckily they managed not to get caught, the pair of them a reasonable distance apart when a brown-haired first year appeared in stairwell. He looked startled to see them in the stairway and scuttled quickly past them and up the boy’s stairs without a word. Once the boy was out of sight Sirius pulled her back towards him but she stopped him, putting her palm against his chest.

‘Not here,’ Daisy whispered, looking around self-consciously. ‘Babe, we could’ve been naked in front of him and I don’t think he would’ve said anything,’ Sirius chuckled. ‘True,’ she giggled, ‘but still.’ ‘Well that’s a shame because I don’t think I can go all day without kissing you again,’ he whispered in her ear making a shiver run down her spine. ‘Well in that case why don’t we find somewhere you won’t have to,’ Daisy mused, pulling away from him and heading to the common room, a cheeky smile on her face. Sirius followed straight away.

✵✵✵

Luckily for Sirius and Daisy dodging their friends for the whole of Sunday wasn’t hard to do. With everyone busy with their own stuff the two of them chose to spend the day in the attic listening to music, reading and kissing, lots of kissing. Now that they could do it whenever they wanted they couldn’t resist the temptation and since they had decided not to tell their friends just yet they figured they better make the most of it before they were forced to act as if nothing was going on. Which is why they were surprised when they got down to breakfast on Monday morning and found people staring at them, furtive whispers and glances following them as they walked between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables.

‘Why is everyone staring at us?’ Daisy whispered as they headed to the end of the table where their friends were congregated. ‘So I’m not imagining it then,’ Sirius grumbled making Daisy frown.

‘You don’t think Remus told anyone, right?’ she asked worriedly. ‘No, he wouldn’t do that to us,’ Sirius said firmly, relieving her nerves just a touch. He was right whatever was going on wouldn’t be because of him, as happy as he was for them he was a good friend.

‘You’re right,’ she agreed.

James, Lily, Peter and Alice were already sitting at the table when they reached it, with Alice saying hello to the pair of them as Daisy slid in beside her, Sirius opting to sit on her other side though as Daisy replied to her friend he stayed quiet, smiling politely at her before pouring himself a cup of tea. He could already feel Lily’s eyes on Daisy, her porridge now abandoned as her gaze homed in on her sister and he thought it best to busy himself for whatever was coming.

‘So,’ Lily said, staring solely at her sister who looked up from the toast she had just grabbed upon hearing her speak. If she had been nervous about all the eyes on her Lily’s piercing gaze was another matter altogether. She felt Sirius tense beside her, though neither of them looked at each other. Instead Daisy mustered the most casual voice she could and replied, ‘so?’

‘What’s going on?’ Lily demanded. ‘What do you mean?’ Daisy asked, hanging back before she offered explanation, after all, she didn’t know what ammo her sister had and it would be foolish to rush in and explain herself when Lily might not have a clue as to what was truly going on. If anything Daisy didn’t really know what was going on, the stares and suspicions just as much a mystery to her as anyone.

‘What happened after you left the pub on Saturday? I figured it was something since I didn’t see you all yesterday and everyone’s gossiping today,’ Lily said. ‘Gossiping about what?’ Sirius said casually. Daisy glanced at him and saw his expression was cool and collected but there was something behind his eyes that showed different, a hardness to it. ‘I don’t know,’ Lily said, ‘Mar said something about Michael telling Pierre about the two of you in his dorm room but I don’t know what he’s said.’ ‘Oh,’ Daisy said, her mind reeling as she wondered exactly had Michael been saying to people. Under the table, she felt Sirius’ hand rest on her thigh reassuringly. ‘Well?’ Lily said expectantly. ‘Lil maybe she doesn’t want to tell us,’ James said nervously, ‘and I don’t know if I want to know what the two of them were doing anyway.’ ‘Nothing, nothing was happening between us, whatever people are talking about I don’t care,’ Daisy lied, trying to ignore the hammering in her chest. This was why she had been reluctant to be open about her and Sirius just yet. Even without whatever Michael had been saying people had seen them together and for her to be with a new boy just a couple days after that would make the gossips of Hogwarts even worse she was sure.

‘Are you sure because there must-’ Lily started but Sirius cut her off, the casualness gone from his voice, the hard edge in its place as he said, ‘Lil maybe just drop it for now, yeah?’

Daisy watched as Lily glared at him, his warning making her lips purse in a way that didn’t leave her looking too dissimilar to Professor McGonagall but nevertheless, she dropped the subject. Daisy heaved an internal sigh of relief and though she engaged as they told her and Sirius about winning the pub quiz trophy, and Alice’s subsequent vomiting in said trophy, she couldn’t help but shake that uneasiness.

It didn’t even lift as they made their way to their classes as the stares and whispers followed her from lesson to lesson meaning that by the time school was over she as exhausted. She and Sirius even chose to go to the library after dinner as it was emptier than most places and people were so focused on their own work they didn’t bother her much but come the next morning, when gossip was still abuzz, she couldn’t help herself.

‘Where are you going?’ Sirius asked as he watched her march away from him towards the Ravenclaw table. Daisy could see people turning to watch her but she didn’t care. Even Sirius sensed there was no point getting involved and he simply sat down beside his friends at the Gryffindor table which consisted of the Marauders watching with amusement and the girls who seemed frantic about what she was going to do.

As Daisy reached her destination she could feel all eyes on her apart from one set, Michael, who was still facing his friend until Daisy cleared her throat, forcing him to turn and look at her, his expression cool yet sheepish as he said, ‘what do you want?’

‘I think we better talk,’ she replied. ‘Oh yeah?’ Michael snorted. Daisy clenched her jaw, trying to understand that her actions towards Michael weren’t exactly justified and that she should expect some animosity even if it was hard to do so. ‘Yeah,’ Daisy said. ‘He doesn’t want to talk to you,’ a blonde girl Daisy didn’t know the name of sneered from across the table which was unfortunately enough to make her lose any understanding as she grabbed Michael by the arm and yanked him up off the bench as she said, ‘yeah well I want to talk to him.’ ‘Daisy,’ Michael grunted as she dragged him to the end of the table meaning that more eyes were on them even if they were out of earshot. As she let him go he huffed, pulling at his sleeve irritably to get it back into position.

‘Look I know you’re angry at me,’ Daisy started, earning a glare as he said pointedly, ‘can you blame me?’ ‘No,’ she said guiltily, ‘I didn’t mean to run out like that.’

‘I still don’t even know why you did. I mean we were having fun or at least I thought we were and then you, well, throw yourself at me and somehow it’s my fault,’ he ranted, ‘then you run way and disappear on me for days.’ ‘Just one day,’ Daisy reasoned, her tone too indignantly given she knew he was right. ‘Either way I was left with no explanation,’ he countered.

‘I wish I could explain,’ she said, biting her lip, ‘but I can’t all I can say is that I thought I liked you, I did like you but just…not enough. I’m sorry.’

‘Well at least now you’re being honest with me instead of running away,’ he said, sighing as she frowned, ‘apology accepted.’  

‘Thanks,’ Daisy nodded.

She was going to leave it there, everything she wanted to say out in the open, but Michael glanced around the hall, looking to see if they were still out of earshot as he said, ‘I want to say sorry too.’

‘What for?’ she asked confused.

‘Well after you sorta left me all confused I was upset and in the morning some of my mates were talking about how they’d seen us together in the dorm and,’ he hesitated. ‘And?’ Daisy said worry now creeping into her stomach. ‘And they were ragging on me for us two y’know,’ he said, blushing as realisation set in. ‘But we didn’t!’ Daisy protested. Now it all made sense, the stares and glares. People didn’t care they weren’t a couple, they were just under the impression she’d used him. ‘I know,’ he said, ‘but when they said it I didn’t correct them and then word got out.’ ‘And now everyone thinks we slept together,’ she grumbled. ‘Yeah,’ Michael said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. ‘Great,’ Daisy said snarkily. ‘I’m sorry,’ Michael said. ‘Well I guess I can’t blame you,’ she reasoned. Sure he should’ve corrected his friends but after the whiplash she’d given he she supposed she understood how he’d gotten to that situation. And it wasn’t as though she could afford enemies, not with half the school on her back, so she asked, ‘so we’re alright?’

‘Yeah we’re alright,’ he nodded, ‘I er, should probably…’

‘Yeah, yeah me too,’ she agreed, offering him one last smile before they made their way back to their respective tables.

Of course when she got to her friends they were all watching her with anticipation, the most concern on Sirius and Lily’s faces though it was only her sister who spoke up, trying to sound casual as she said, ‘so is everything sorted?’ ‘Well, all of the school thinks I shagged Michael and then dumped him but other than that yeah we’re sorted,’ Daisy grumbled.

‘Wait so you two didn’t? Because I heard Melanie Fisher talking about it in Care of Magical creatures and she said that-’ Peter said stopping with a grunt as a distinct thud was heard underneath the table, James smiling sympathetically at her a moment after. ‘Trust you to only listen to the wrong things Wormtail,’ Sirius said and though his tone attempted to be light it was an edge to it, one that everyone bar Marlene chose to ignore. ‘Well we know the truth whatever else is just gossip,’ Remus said, smiling sympathetically at her.

‘Yeah and if we hear anyone gossiping they’ll have to answer to us,’ James added. ‘Yeah we’ll show them,’ Peter said trying to grasp and use the clout James’ response had had. Daisy smiled, the support of her boys a small compensation in the face of high school drama but even so she didn’t want to dwell on it and said, ‘just forget it. The more you defend me the longer it’ll go on.’ ‘Daisy’s right,’ Sirius agreed, ‘the more you address things the longer it takes them to go away.’

‘Yeah besides there’ll be something else they’ll be talking about by the end of the week,’ Alice said.

Once the group agreed conversation was swiftly moved on until eventually everyone was forced to disband and head for lessons with Marlene, Alice and Peter accompanying Daisy down to Care of Magical Creatures. Yet, as Alice and Peter reached the edge of the paddock where they were having their lesson Daisy felt Marlene’s hand on her arm slowing her down and away from their others, and more importantly out of earshot. When they were far enough away, Marlene leaned in, ignoring Daisy’s confused expression as she whispered, ‘you didn’t sleep with Michael right?’ ‘No,’ Daisy said, ‘I already told you I didn’t.’ ‘But that’s not the end of the story right?’ Marlene replied, stopping altogether and looking at her friend inquisitively. Daisy tried to pull away, ‘Mar we’re going to be late.’

‘And?’ Marlene challenged. ‘Fine,’ Daisy grumbled looking at her pal who was watching her expectantly, ‘after I left Ravenclaw tower I went back to the common room and… Sirius was there.’ ��And?’ Marlene pressed. ‘And we talked and…he kissed me,’ Daisy said, unable to stop a small smile from adoring her face. ‘Finally!’ Marlene squealed causing a few other students to look around at them though she ignored them, ‘so you two are together now?’ ‘Yes but no one knows, well apart from Remus, so you can’t tell anyone,’ Daisy said. ‘Why not?’ Marlene asked her face falling into a confused expression. ‘Because of this whole Michael thing. I mean it’s bad enough already without everything thinking I’m making my way around the school, Sirius too given that he looked like he was dating Penny up until yesterday,’ she said, ‘besides it’s been so long we kinda just wanted time to ourselves you know?’

‘Yeah I get you,’ Marlene said, ‘still I told you you’d get together didn’t I?’

‘Apparently everyone has,’ Daisy giggled, ‘Remus didn’t seem very surprised about it.’

‘That’s because the pair of you are as obvious as James and Lil,’ Marlene chuckled.

SIRIUS BLACK/SERIES TAGS

@maeisafangirl @mysteriouslydelicateface @caitlin1996 @imthebadguyyy

[transgayhawkeyepierce]

Thank you @marley-manson for tagging me in Fuck it Friday! May I present you with the Anime Man kills Frank Burns WIP I got Extremely embarrassed about half way through and dropped

"How dare a mere Captain talk to me that way! I am your Superior officer!" Frank violently jabbed at his clusters, "And you haven't given me a single salute since I've gotten here! Salute! Salute!" Frank couldn’t actually recall the protocol for saluting on an underwater vessel, but it was the thought that counts! He demanded respect!

The man's dower face broke into a thin spidery smile. "I am the Captain, because this is my ship Soldier. As you guessed, you have found yourself on a submarine, but what you failed to realize is that we are not members of some army outfit. This is a pirate ship, and you are currently 600 leagues under the sea, completely at our mercy."

“As for your salute, I hope this will do.” The Captain drew his overly-long sword, raised its blade over his brow, and swiped it through the air.

Frank threw his hands over his face and screamed. Moments passed, and his shrieks tapered off in a deflated high pitched whimper as he realized he was in no pain. “Missed me!” Frank taunted. He squashed down his embarrassment from his reaction, and triumphed in his successful dodge of the man’s attack. Foreigners and their barbaric weapons couldn’t get him!

“Oh, did I?”’

The Captain moved his finger, as if beckoning Frank to him, and Frank’s hand… broke into pieces. Frank's fingers, his palm, his arm, now inexplicably detached, floated in mid air; the sight made even more bizarre in its bloodlessness. The Captain waved his finger again, and the fragments went to him. The surreality of his icy touch, still felt, broke Frank out of his baffled trance.

“WITCH! WIIITCH!!” Frank fell down ass first and scrambled back, or at least attempted to as the back of his head thudded painfully on the floor when forgot to compensate for his now missing limb.

“Shut up!” The man’s tone was so sharp, so hateful, that it was as if his mother, his father, and every other person who had ever spoken to him that way shouted all at once. Frank felt his mouth snap shut on instinct.

The Captain advanced on him, cutting the air with his sword two more times. "I hate men like you Soldier, lap-dogs who mindlessly gobble up propaganda because you are so eager to turn your gun on another. Pathetic little boys playing dress up, who would gladly destroy a country, simply because it was demanded of you.”

The sight of pieces of himself being removed was so sudden and so unthinkable that Frank couldn’t help but feel like he was watching a picture. There was his heart, beating like it was still in his chest. There were his intestines, squirming as they digested food from the Mess. Frank tried to lift his hand and saw movement across the room. Unable to do a thing, Frank felt like a knitted scarf being helplessly unraveled.

“Selfish doctors who forget it is their duty to serve the sick and the dying," The Captain continued.

The sensation was disorienting and completely overwhelming, strange and violating as the innermost parts of him were touched. Moments became fragments, a touch on his arm as it was handed from one person to another, the grip of calloused fingers on his lung, on his heart, on the exposed muscle of his leg. A strange tight dry sensation locked his mouth. Frank tried to cry out, tried to say something, anything, tried to scream, but the oral sensation became tighter, more painful. His eyes fell on a pink mass held tightly in The Captain’s hands. With a distant mind, he realized it was his tongue.

“Have you done a single thing in your life to earn a merciful death?” The Captain asked, Frank shook, and every distant shattered piece of himself shook with him.

The man tossed his tongue over his shoulder. “No need to answer, I can take a guess.” The Captain raised his sword once more and struck.

White pain erupted from Frank's neck and hungrily raced to fill every corner of his mind. The pain was unending, it was all he’d know and all he had ever known. It destroyed his vision, his awareness, and the pain became everything and Frank became the pain. The agony was unbearable and it was crushing, crushing him, and Frank wished that he would just die. And then it was over.

And then nothing.

I'm honestly too tired to tag anyone, but if you want to share and say I tagged you feel free!

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

For number 19 in your ask game—GOD i am obsessed with The First Step of Kintsugi!! It’s my overall top favorite fanfic, ever. It makes me go absolutely insane every time I read it—screaming, crying, clawing at the walls, etc :D

I could write a whole essay about how much I love it and why, because everything about it is absolutely phenomenal. One of the things I really appreciate is the humor you’ve woven through! There’s SO many incredible lines in that fic, but one line that makes me crack up every single time I reread is pretty early on:

“I get the concern, really. But my body got like. Super weird after I got enhanced. A car could run me over and I’d just get up and walk away.”

“Did a car run you over?” demands Frank.

 “That’s not the point of this,” says Peter.  I lose my entire mind every time I read that, holy shit—just, absolutely hilarious and perfectly in character for peter.

In a more general sense, I love the way your juxtapose the most top-tier humor with the more serious parts of your work! I go on an emotional roller coaster every time, and immediately run right back around to go again. Hope you have a great day!

that line was actually one of my FAVORITE jokes to write in the entire fic and I'm SO thrilled you liked it too. like, the sheer energy of that statement. peter is a walking red flag to reasonable adults. he's so concerning. i love him so much.

i don't think i've ever taken something seriously in my life and i think that's most of where my writing style comes from. like, i'm just a clown. i do a lot of generally serious things and i've had plenty of rock bottoms to become acquainted with and i tend to carve out the space for a joke in it. i have to actively make disclaimers when i do pro bono work where i'm like "hey this is a gender marker change/immigration petition/whatever for you and that's such a big deal, i'm always down to clown but i can totally sober up and not crack any more jokes during our meeting" and i've never had a meeting where someone didn't want a little levity. like, i can definitely tell when it's not the time to make a joke but i just generally think that the world is a much nicer place to live in if your sense of comedic timing is kept in easy reach

[literaticat]

Hi Jenn. I’m… nervous. It’s been three years since I signed with my agent. We’ve gone out with numerous projects, and we’ve sold nothing. I feel like such a disappointment. I’m afraid my agent will drop me soon. What would make you drop a client? How would you do it?

It might surprise you to know that your AGENT could easily be writing me the exact same note. ("I've gone out with numerous projects, and I've sold nothing. I feel like such a disappointment. I'm afraid my author will drop me soon.")

Yes, we also get freaked out / stressed out by this occurrence. We WANT you to be super successful. We BELIEVE IN you and your work. It sucks for us when it gets rejected, too! And yes, sometimes we are walking on eggshells worried that an author is going to drop us because we keep having to bring them disappointing news or whatever it is. :-/

So, here's the thing. Not selling a book should not be enough reason for an author and agent to part ways (unless there's something else going on). Not selling a FEW books doesn't even qualify, really. I have definitely had it happen where things don't pan out, and then suddenly they do. So assuming you are turning in great mss, your agent is still excited, etc, don't go LOOKING for trouble. We don't expect every single thing to sell, and we don't hold that against you.

That said: If there is a pattern of not-selling, it COULD be that one or the other of you start to feel like maybe the agent is not doing anything to help you, and you'd benefit from a different set of eyes and new energy. That can happen. If you are feeling like you might be in a rut and you aren't sure what the future looks like, it would be great if you could have a gut-check kind of convo with your agent. (And if your agent is feeling like that, they should have a gut-check kind of convo with YOU.)

Approach this with an up-beat and positive feeling. You want what's best for you and your career. Your AGENT wants what is best for you and your career. Change is scary, but it isn't inherently BAD. If you've both given it a real effort but what is happening right now isn't forwarding your career, it's OK to change direction, and that's a good thing, actually.

(And by "change direction", that MIGHT mean changing your focus or switching things up with your writing, or MIGHT mean your agent doing things differently, or it MIGHT mean parting ways and finding a different agent, but you can't really figure that out until you have a frank conversation with them.)

Sorry this is long already. :-) To answer the second part: I wouldn't just drop a client for zero reason if I still believe in their work and think I can sell it. I *might* start to lose faith in my ability to sell it if it really is just going nowhere (the old "trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results" adage comes to mind). If I really am feeling like they need something I can't give them, it might be time to part ways, because their needs and my capabilities are not in line. But again, if that's the case, I *WANT* them to find what they need. So, while it's hardly a JOLLY thing to part ways, at the end of the day, I'm not helping them and I might indeed be holding them back, so...

And as to "how I would do it" -- Depends. In our frank conversation, I'd likely present a couple of ideas for moving forward (with or without me), and put the ball in their court. Do we change things up, move forward with hopefully new energy and new material? Do we part ways and let you find an agent who will better represent you? Or what?

But if I know for a fact that I can't continue, for whatever reason (like, my list is changing in a different direction, I don't have the time or zeal for this that I once had, you are starting to do work that I don't know how to or don't want to rep, etc) -- I'd probably write you an email to that effect and offer to follow up with a call as needed. (Because if I said all that on a call, I'd cry, and that's messy!)

[postcards-to-home]

Letting Go: 2023

‘Have you taken a look at your old posts?” Yes, sort of, thats kind of what brought me to dig that password out again to make a post. “Well read them again. They’re pretty…inspirational actually. Truly. Just please do it.”

Shape of You/ Ed Sheeran

Fitting 9 people deep into a 5 seater Toyota Fitz at 2 am was not how I anticipated starting the year off. Riding the center console with all the windows rolled up I wondered out loud who the hell was sober enough to drive this thing back to the Aruba Beach Club? Last I recalled we had closed Ricardo's down after slamming over 100 beers in 3 hours, with a unanimous cry from the bartenders, ``You guys broke the record of the most beers ever consumed in one shift.``We’d managed to hit downtown, with chaos tailing closely behind us until open signs flickered off. Someplace between the Ritz and Hilton we huddled on the beach forming a semi circle around a fat Dutchmaster with our fingers cupping the flame of a single lighter. The waves trickled below the pier we stood on as we watched the boats pass between Venezuela and our tiny island of Aruba. Leave it to D-rock to get weed immediately after passing through customs. As a gang of cousins, It was a first for us to all be together overseas. There was peace between us all as we star gazed, except for Tyler filming himself in the background talking about "getting his bag" and "visiting the red-light district". Good Ole Frank shoved us into the clown car half dead at 3 am managing to hit every speed bump he could until we crash landed at the ABC hotel. Jason never made it out of bed the next day and Frank managed to be at the pool by 9. I understand entirely how we are family after that joy ride.

Im Good (Blue) // David Guetta & Bebe Rexha

Trips with family are always special and I wish I could have had that same feeling I had cruising down the Aruban highway at 3am as I did in Las Vegas this year for my Bachelorette party. While It didn’t pan out that way that I had pictured in my mind, those that made the journey sure did make me smile. The trip itself panned out so far in the other direction I actually wondered if anyone would give a shit about that one time I had 3 vodka cranberries on a vintage casino tour where I took pictures of the retro shag rugs with cowboys on them and fell asleep by 10pm sharp. It was the same trip in which I got to dress up like a bedazzled flamingo and had all my besties shower me with love, something I can't be thankful enough for. They had the ball literally dropped on their heads and they managed to keep moving forward with my happiness as the focus. It wouldn't have been a "Nicole" Trip if I didn't make a fool of myself at least once. I realized after I got off the elevator that my underwear were in fact tucked into the outside of my shirt with the worst part being I was 100% sober. Despite no one winning thousands of dollars or managing to buy a lap dance we did trek through the desert in a hot pink jeep and that was the highlight of the entire trip.After that, we flew home, we threw out anything that had to do with those that hurt us intentionally and we let that shit go.

When I grow up // The pussycat Dolls

Fast Car// Luke Combs

The year snowballed, and if I may, I’d like to address the elephant in the room. I’ll save everyone the details but I hope this is the last year of my life I have to experience the sudden violent interjection of a fentanyl overdose once again and the familiar destruction it brings. I hope those reading never have to live with seeing your family crowded around the kitchen window sobbing as you see your uncle bent over, dead on the sofa from a coke overdose.Upsetting and startling to read? Yes, but at least he wasn't found crumpled in a ball on the bathroom floor like his son was.  It was of no surprise to receive the news, still tragic no less. It's the one time in my life I wish my intuition was wrong. My mom reminded me I’d called it,emphasizing the need to never tell her in advance when my spidey senses tell me things are going to go south with someone. I had no memory of telling cousin Robert this in January but he wasted no time reminding everyone I knew this would happen before it happened. Jay and I spoke to the officer at the scene on a first name basis hearing “This is the 9th one this week.” It clicked there standing in the rain that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, something I said to Tommy at 9 years old. He was pretty pissed to hear that back then as a 15 year old delinquent. Yet here I am breathing and his ashes are now somewhere in the Moab desert, Schaghticoke, with bitch face and gram down at the cemetery in Cohoes . It was bad enough we buried aunt Ona next to Gram on Thursday but having to go back on Friday to bury Jr in the adjacent plot the following day was just simply too much for us. Maybe we all should have taken those free narcans Grandma Debbie was giving out two Decembers ago that she got from the county jail. But I'll let that thought go.

Way of the Truine God// Tyler Childs

There came a point in the year where pounding the pavement felt like second nature. Work, farm, picking, shows, repeat.Toggling google maps and driving down back country roads into no mans land had me thinking I was pioneering my own adventure.But then standing outside some abandoned house, freezing in line with #27 stuffed in my back pocket I would wonder , is this even fucking worth it? Somewhere close by a  grouchy bastard cranked a heater next to me mumbling about the cast iron pan he wants at the sale. “Cheap thrills” Id giggle sifting through some dead person's Attic knee deep in a mouse house. I drove chaotically through the tri-county region slinging antiques, singing reggaeton of all things at the top of my lungs, driving down 787 doing 90 in a 65mph. We  trucked car loads of plants to antique shows this year all thanks to Dad, Jay mom and Toni. Success is easy when you have a mini squad of family cheering you on the sidelines, willingly sacrificing Saturday mornings to unload trailers at 7am. I was living the dream and my heart would explode on the good days. On the bad days I’d doubt myself but maybe it was willpower, or just simply my spirit throttling my vessel screaming “ You’ve got this,” but It all worked out the way either way.I let my doubt go.

Just Breathe// Pearl Jam

I understood the meaning of family even more when Jimmy and I were sipping Vodka sodas at the Saratoga Civic Center watching Marissa cross the stage for her high school graduation. Somewhere in between slow sipping and clapping Jen lost her large $1 Mcdonalds diet coke all over the venue floor.Poppy with no hearing aids stood by with judgment in his eyes while I took “Obituary” pictures. He wondered out loud "What the hell is going on," but his voice was lost in the crowd and he couldn't give damn.

Just like we did 7 summers ago, we took that first ride out to college for move in day except this time it was Marissa's turn.We dropped  Marissa off at college just two weeks shy of Jay and I’s wedding wondering what would transpire in the two weeks before her return. We conspired how her first term would go over chili and chicken tenders at the only bar in town. I heard alot of bitching about leaving a purse behind a dumpster and “I need a fucking smoke.” between gram and pops. With a black coffee and fresh pack of reservation grade cigs, poppy and I hit the road home from SUNY Morrisville. Believe it or not pops spent the entire two hours chatting about the past in a way I never knew he was capable of. I'll never see him the same way again, and i'm content with it. We started out with “ I dont believe in god so when I'm gone just do whatever makes you guys feel good,” and ended with “ I’m glad we got to talk to Nicole, I really liked it. I still don't believe in God but I believe you speak to my mom in your dreams and I can’t explain that.” It was an entire short novel of everything I ever wanted to know explained all at once leaving me with sentiments of peace.

Drive//Alan Jackson

The pivot towards happily ever after did not commence until walking back up the aisle to catch a drink in my hand.  What a magical day we had. Chalking the day up in my mind I anticipated something far less significant than what had actually happened, simply put, a beautiful day. A day that was talked about with anxiety and ten tons of stress for nearly two years straight, amassing to a single day of blissful drinking surrounded by LOVE and all our favorite people. It felt like our own movie premier, except it was the start our "New life". We had a crowd of family stare at us with tears of laughter in their eyes as we shared our first dance to Hootie and the Blow fish’s “Only wanna be with you." If you're wondering it was totally the wrong choice, last minute and we weren't nearly drunk enough to hide how mortified we were swinging each other round and round. Endless bouts of laughter rang throughout the entire night helping to deflect the thought that some of my favorite people in the world weren’t able to be in attendance that day. Despite the potential for rain as my dad predicted, the day was nothing but sunshine and bliss. A few people cried over their ex’s in the corner that I never saw while one guy went fishing in the pond catching a small mouth bass. Shortly after that he managed to drop an entire keg on his head leaving an egg sized welt on his forehead perfectly positioned for his headlamp to rest on. It all came to an end with everyone barefoot, slurring words in the barn at 2 am, muddy from drunkenly falling down the hill that the barn sat upon. With ruined dresses, we ran out of water and woke the next day with black feet and nothing but giggles. 

Galaxy// Quavo

Controversial to popular opinion, honeymoons are not easy breezy lemon squeezy and probably shouldn't be taken immediately after your wedding day unless you're prepared to melt from exhaustion prior to landing someplace thousands of miles from home. I will admit it was pretty cool to ride in a cop car through Newark airport while also being personally escorted through TSA all thanks to Josh. After that Jay and I tumbled fast, hitting EU soil with peak levels of bitchiness letting Mallorca test my zen before even getting there. European mannerisms are something we are still coming to terms with and my Spanish is still B2 at best despite Laura’s constant push for me to do more and be better. "Nico, you can do this, it will be easy, you know this." No one told me it was Catalonian Spanish..

If it weren't for Jason driving on 3 hours of sleep and a Xanax I'm not sure we would have survived the first 8 hours on the island (Ok I would have made it but it wouldn't have been an endless laugh).There is no other person on this earth I could imagine driving a fiat with into a plaza full of people..No one else I could picture driving down a one lane country rode with singing Quavos “Fuel Up” and crashing into a rock wall,forcing me to get out of the car and wave down a local for support. It would have been pretty awesome if a camera crew appeared to remind us of that moment of defeat when I bitchly slammed the car door in jays face, saying “STFU ill fix this,” while he sat defeated from the days series of unfortunate events. That tire was the only thing preventing us from entering an air-conditioned unit and I wasn't going to let my man melt away. Senior Tony came to the rescue after I waved him down through barbed fencing, letting me into his gated home to ask in Spanish for support along with his wifi password. All that to find out the parking break was jammed and our rental house had timed AC of 1 hour a day from 3-4am. 

Still,there's no person other than Jay i’d rather crash our vespa with in deadstop traffic just moments before returning the rental. Jay and I are what romcoms are made from. We lived it, we survived and we laughed the entire ride down the one lane mountain rode in one piece. We trash talked the guy with "Love” tattooed on his neck that told jay to never ride a vespa again because he's never been so scared in his life to watch a man ride one like jay.Jay's also the guy I can always count on to make friends with the black girls with the speaker and meet random townies at the bar with. His energy is truly unmatched. Bless his heart for picking me, his one beer queer that pees in dirt parking lots at 10pm on our honeymoon to live with the rest of his life.

6PM en Mallorca/ Eladio Carrion

There would be days where I was simply vibrating with the need to do it all at once and then some on an empty stomach and a few energy drinks. Healthy wasn't on my radar so I suffered the consequences. It shouldn't have been shocking to learn I was diagnosed with HSP (Highly sensitive person) but to be simply put, it felt like someone gave me the answer I’d been looking for my whole life. Jokingly, I now had an excuse for my hangry episodes, dramatic mood drops and inability to tolerate social outings for longer than 2.5 hours before committing an Irish goodbye home to charge my social battery. Swan would say “Hey Nicole, hows your HSP these days,” like an asshole and we’d all laugh at the thought of me actually having a real life crisis and not something I exaggerated. With this revelation I was mildly pissed because it meant Taylor was sort of right in saying I was autistic all those years ago. While she was sneaking cookies in her sock drawer, feeding her 8 month pregnant belly on the o there side of our shared wall, she screamed at me I was autistic because I didn’t care for loud noises or her shitty attitude. On the spectrum or not, I'll let that go too.

Seasons change and things wound down. It's January as I write this with my health intact along with everything else in my mental portfolio. I've stopped hearing from my manager “ Nicole Im worried about your mental health, maybe you should take time off.”  and instead I'm hearing from those around me “Congratulations" and "you should feel so proud." I am proud actually, its a new feeling. I learnt a lot of lessons this year but ultimately it boils down to one simple message that applies to every facet of our existence: Light & Love. Thats it.

As long as youre striving to be as close to light and love as possible, whatever that is for you, then it will all work out in the end. And It really has. My whole life feels lighter just knowing as long as I gravitate towards genuine love and goodness, all good things will follow and come back.

  "The whole universe is always about love and when it isnt about love its about the absence of love."

Thanks for reading,

NRCM

*Want to read my old posts? Curious what about the past, or just simply nosey? Click "Past Work" on the left to read all my old shit.

[modern-vellichor]

How is it there isn’t more cockwarming with Frank Castle in the entirety of Tumblr! Can you please please please do one?

Love your writing btw xx

summary: frank likes to tease

warnings: 18+ nsfw, smut, cockwarming, guns.

a/n: I don't think Frank is patient enough for this tbh. but anything for u bae <3 also im not good at writing smut so, excuse that lolsies

"Frank," you whined. "Come back to bed."

He hadn't left. Not like he usually did. No. He usually snuck out in the middle of the night, and came home blood soaked. But today when you woke up in an empty bed, and crept through the apartment, you found Frank sitting on the couch polishing his guns.

"Not right now, sweetheart," he grumbled. "Busy."

"Seriously," you muttered. You ran your hands over his chest, up his shoulders, leaning over him until your lips brushed over his neck. "Bed. Now."

Frank chuckled at your determination. But he was stubborn as all hell. He won every argument. But you're your mothers daughter, and never stand down, even when it's good for you. Being equally as stubborn was never easy, always butting heads, but at least Frank knew that you wouldn't hesitate to beat the shit out of anyone who came near you.

Frank didn't move. He just sat, running his greasy cloth over every weapon that sat splayed on the table.

"I can't sleep when you're out here," you whined again, desperate to drag him away from the task at hand.

"Then sleep here."

You knew that he wanted you to curl up on the sofa next to him and sleep quietly, leaving him to his polishing. But instead, you shimmied between him and his handgun, and curled up on his lap, burying your face in his chest. You squirmed in his lap, trying to get comfortable, and had to hide your grin when he choked back a groan.

Frank nearly dropped the gun. You were one relentless son of a bitch. One of his hands curled around your waist, the other white-knuckling the gun.

"I'll tell you what, sweetheart," he negotiated. "If you can sit here, quietly, i'll let you stay."

"But?"

There was always a but with Frank.

"But, if you make a single noise, you have to go back to bed, by yourself, and leave me alone."

"Frank, I don't know what you mean," you began, frustratedly.

Then he bucked his hips. The colour flushed from your cheeks and your mouth began to water. You wanted to whimper and whine, borderline beg, but you didn't dare want to ruin the moment.

You bit your lip until it bled. Frank was honestly impressed with you. You were being well behaved, which was no small feat for you. You let him maneuver you and lift you so that he could situate himself at your entrance. You nearly screamed as he pulled your underwear aside, but instead your scrunched your eyes closed and dug your nails into his shoulders. He seated you on his lap, and you had never felt so full.

"Attagirl," he mumbled into your hair, ghosting his fingertips over the apex of your thighs. If he touched you properly, it would be your downfall.

"Don't move," he commanded. "Let me work."

And you did. You stayed still, stayed quiet. You obeyed, even though every part of you wanted to betray him, and circle your hips, and moan in his ear. You counted tiles on the wall, and watched seconds tick by. You watched the moon slowly, achingly trudge across the sky. If anybody looked in your window now, they'd see an innocent and loving scene.

You were nearly falling asleep when Frank bucked his hips. Your eyes shot open as you let out a strangled cry. Your hand shot up to cover your mouth.

"What, cat got your tongue?" Frank laughed.

"Why'd you do that?" you nearly sobbed.

"I wanted to remind you who you belonged to," he stated simply, butterflies fluttered inside of you at the words. "Let's go to bed, sweetheart."

"Fucking finally."

[iambilliejeanok]

@poofgirlk 💐

Different scenarios for each character.

Warnings: 18+, smut, nsfw

Tobirama

Your marriage is arranged. You’re from a different part of the world that practices an entirely different culture and also make use of powers that are totally different from theirs.

Because of the incredible differences, as the Hokage, Tobirama thought it would be a wise decision to marry a woman from a different land who’s very strong for the benefit of his clan.

When he first met you, he certainly wasn’t expecting to be this captivated by your appearance. Only because he didn’t even care to be married, he’s simply following his clans wishes.

After the marriage ceremony, he swore he’s have a better look at you on the night of your honeymoon.

You sat on the bed, your legs crossed at your feet, your hands in your lap when Tobirama walked into the room. A beautiful, red, see through robe with fluffy collars decorates your curves, the robe reaching just below your ass as you stand up, placing your hands by your side so he can see your nudity, as is required of you on your first night with your new husband.

Tobirama didn’t quite understand why his heart skipped a beat, taking a deep breath to calm his heart rate at the sight of you. The lights in the room are dim, so he takes it upon himself to take a few steps closer, noticing your nervousness as you keep your eyes on the ground.

“You don’t have to be nervous. We don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with”, his deep voice startles you, forcing you to look up at him.

Your dark brown pupils connect with his. Fiery red orbs only made redder with lust. You could tell by the obvious bulge in his pants that he’s more than happy to take in your barely covered body. And to be quite frank, the reality is that he found you to be very attractive.

The areas of your body that were draped by the transparent, red robe made your skin look slightly darker and shinier than the areas that were exposed. Your dressing expert did you a favour with this one. You absolutely loved how you looked when you slipped it on in the bathroom.

You felt a sense of pride building up in you at the reaction you managed to get from him. Or maybe he hasn’t seen a naked women before? But he’s the Hokage. And he’s obviously extremely easy on the eye. You even assumed him to be a lady’s man. So you’re still slightly surprised that he was so hard at the sight of your naked body.

But can you blame him? His eyes trailed over your body once again, unable to resist taking you in. Your areola surrounding your nipple dark like chocolate, the nipple itself making his mouth water, forcing him to swallow,before his eyes trailed further. He swore you might of seen his dick twitch when his eyes landed on your pussy. He couldn’t see it fully because you’ve tied it around your waist into a neat bow, the strands that hung blocking the complete view.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t just as aroused, wanting to touch his bare chest so bad, his bicep flexing when he felt your skin make contact with it.

“It’s okay, I’d like to do this if you share the same desire”, you say, and you feel his large hand cup your cheek, his other hand immediately brushing a few coils of your fro out the way.

All he can think about is tasting every single inch of your body. He wants to heavily mark you and make you cry. He needs to know that he can bring such a beautiful woman like you to a mess. But he’s inexperienced. Stories he heard from other men the only knowledge he has about sex.

Would his idea of enjoying your body freak you out? How would you react if he spread you open and pushed his tongue into your tight pussy?

Would you moan or whimper? Would you perhaps even scream? How would you feel about him sucking on your clit? Are the lips between your legs brown too? Are they darker or lighter than the rest of you? What if you came? Would you let him enjoy you longer? As long as he wanted?

He thought his dick would explode at this point. The ridiculous tent in his pants leaving you wide eyed.

He’s going to find out tonight then.

Madara

Just like Tobirama, he finds your unique features to be very attractive.

He’s attending a world head conference with Hashirama. Every Hokage and their assistant and other lead officials from different parts of the world are present.

A group of brown people gathered on one side of the room, everyone a different shade, some lighter tones and some darker toned, adorned in colourful robes as they all took their seats.

He had to look over his shoulder one more time when he walked passed you to his side of the room.

Your hair. Braids wrapped up in a beautiful scarf with black and white embroidery, forming a big bun at the top of your head. Two of the braids dangling in front of your face, reaching down to your waist.

He bumped into one of your people, not watching where he was going, too distracted by the wonderful sight of you.

He was expecting a fight, Madara loves to fight, but was surprised to see the tall, bulky man in front of him simply smile and throw a simple “watch out”, before taking his seat beside you.

Was that your partner? It can’t be! Because that would mean that he wouldn’t stand a chance with you. No. He would observe from his seat until he could tell if the two of you were truly together or if he was hopefully wrong.

From his seat, he had the perfect view as you sat opposite him, along with your people. You were reading through some papers while the others began conversing. You seemed to be very interested in what you were reading. Now Madara wanted to know what it was that you were reading, looking down at his table, searching though the papers, not even sure if he was looking at the same thing as you.

He looked back up to see that you were still consumed in the papers on your table. Why weren’t you looking at him too? Was he not attractive? Maybe unnoticeable since there were so many people here that he’d say were pretty decent. But can they fight? He swore right then and there that he’d fight everybody in the building for a chance to talk to you.

He notices your lips moving. You’re reading to yourself. Your lips so plump and juicy. Now he’s mind was trailing elsewhere. Were they just as soft as they looked? God he wanted to suck on them so bad.

The braids dangling in front of your face were decorated with jewelry. All the way down to the tips. So were the braids in the bun, decorated with all sorts of interesting little items. Is their some kind of significance behind each item? Does the pattern of the beads symbol something? He was now sure that he would fight just to talk to you. He’d never been this interested in getting to learn anything about anyone before. Maybe Hashirama…maybe.

As the meeting commenced, everyone had to stand up as a form of greeting. You wore a very interesting skirt. Only coving your front. The sides and back seemed completely bare, expect a pair or black tights covered your private bits, the shorts hugging you so sinfully all the way down to your mid thigh. He noticed a string of beads wrapped around your waist too. About three of them, hugging your bare waist and accentuating your curvy frame. He noticed almost all of the women on your side wore them. Did those mean something too?

His eyes continued to trail up. Your breasts sat snug in a shirt that sat just below your breasts. Your under boob perfectly visible for everyone to see. Once again, most of the women on your side wore similar attires. Revealing attires at that. He had to bite his lip when he his eyes caught sight of your nipples, perky though your little beige crop shirt. Your arms were covered in patterned scars all the way down to your wrists. That seemed to be a clan symbol he took note of.

He sat the entire meeting completely distracted by your presence, your eyes connected with his once. He made up his mind to pursue you right after this. No matter who he’s have to fight.

No one knows why thinks he’d have to fight somebody.

[tendousthoughts]

HQ Boys Thinking Their S/O Left Them Pt. 4

Character(s) included: Kenma & Suna

Requested by: My sibling who doesn't read my work lmao.

Warning(s): Cursing, Mention of alcohol [Kenma]

Song of the day: Tired by Beabadoobee

A/N: First off please check out my announcements post. It has a lot of important Information in it and I would really enjoy it if you checked it out! Next this is requested by my wonderful sibling. Hopefully you all enjoy- also how's my new stuff..? Tell me if its ugly lmao.. I recommend having the palette/theme set to Goth Rave for the best look- I might make a few things a darker purple though! This might be the last part to this series unless anyone wants a few more!

Where to find all the parts!

Where to find all my content!

Tag(s): @chibiiichann & @corporeal-terrestrial

Kenma

Things were rough after Kenma landed his dream gig. Being a full time gamer had always been and always would be his dream. But now it was reality. He finally made it in the big league. He was finally there. It was perfect.. but soon enough flaws started to appear outside of his career. Which soon turned into flaws in the relationship. Kenma was known to be smart, calculated, and quiet. Even though all those seemed nice at times it was hard. Like any relationship things didn’t always work out. One of those being the communication. To be frank, there was no communication. At all.

You liked to drink and party. Hang out with friends and just live life to the fullest.. but even if you did like that, you loved just to cuddle. Which luckily you and Kenma shared. As time grew and his career finally branched into what he hoped it would, your time of physical affection shortened. Which sucked.. you loved physical affection. It was your love language. You couldn’t help it, whenever you saw him you just wanted to lay and be with him. But now that you couldn’t, you slowly branched out to others for what you couldn’t have. When that worked.. you just stuck with it. Getting drunk with friends and cuddling until one of your more sober friends called up Kenma and told him to pick you up. Kenma hated it. He really hated it. He hated to see you holding on to someone else, it didn’t matter what they looked like, what they identified as, or who they were. All that mattered was they weren’t him so they had no right to be that close.

Kenma likes to play games and stay home. He liked to be somewhere quiet and such. So every week when he had to go to pick you up, he sorta wondered if he didn’t pick you up what would happen..? Of course he wouldn’t do so though.. you had so many people eyeing you.. you were popular with everyone and extremely kind. So if he did leave you.. it would be as easy as it was for you to get a new cuddle partner as to get a new place to sleep. He trusted you.. well he kind of did. He wasn't good at expressing how he felt especially when it came to you or something you liked.

You got black out drunk the night before and when you walked into the kitchen you felt the heavy atmosphere. “Good morning baby..” you muttered rubbing your eyes. Your lips felt dry and your throat was raspy. Maybe you were screaming or something.. whatever it was fun.

“I don’t want you calling me that at the moment.” He stated. Which caught you off guard. Looking up your eyes were met with his. Clear confusion all over your face. “What? Did you really get that drunk to not remember being all over your friend last night..?  Calling them baby and shit. If that’s a name you just throw around please just refer to me as my name..” He muttered.

“Oh you know I didn’t mean too baby.. I love you and you know that.. you're the only one who makes me happy… but right now I'm having a headache so do you mind passing me the coffee..?” you muttered brushing everything to the side which only made him more frustrated with you. you did this every time. You pushed everything that wasn’t in your interest to the side.

“Look at you doing it again. You always do this,” he looked at you annoyed and frustrated. “Pushing everything to the side. Do you not understand how annoying it is to get a call at three in the morning that you're drunk. Not only that but that you're all over someone else. Do you not understand or do you just not care because seriously it's getting hard to think that you are just that, your heads just that blank.”

You were caught off guard. Of course you were, he never responded roughly like that. He never acted so upset with you. To be honest you never really thought about how he had to pick you up and stuff. You never thought about what happened the night before to be frank. You were a party drunk. You liked to sing and dance and cuddle and such. All the things Kenma couldn’t or wouldn’t do with you, you did with anyone else when you were drunk. It wasn’t that you wanted to blame being drunk on acting that way, so you just waited till you did get drunk. It was more, when you were sober you tried to get Kenma to do those things with you. Which most of the time ended badly because you would just be shut down again. “You know I don’t mean to do those things.”

“You don’t mean too?” He looked upset, really upset. You saw him upset often, frustrated with how the game was turning out and such, but this was different. He looked more hurt than anything. “You do it every week. Every single week you go out and drink you go out and party and sing and dance and have the fucking time of your life okay? Then when your all tired and cuddled up with a friend. I get a call to pick you up. When I get there you're either on their lap with your arms around them, on their side and holding them tight, or in between their legs as they cuddle you from the back. Not only that but when I try and help you up you more then half the time push me away, and then say you wanna go home with your ‘baby’! I’m getting sick and tired of it. You wake up the next morning and act as if the whole night you were just thinking of me and how you just wanna cuddle and all this shit. I am so fucking sick of you this. I’m so sick of you drinking. I am so fucking sick of you.” He was shouting. He was pissed and of course he was. But this time he just blew up. He didn’t even wait for a response to anything. “I’m going to go stream don’t fucking bug me.” He walked away walking into his streaming room. Once they slam the door leaving you in utter shock.

It took you a moment to take in everything. You messed up. It was your fault. He was hurt. Your lover was in pain because of your stupid actions. You grabbed your stuff, shoving it into your pocket and walked out. It was hard to think of anything but Kenma right now. Slowly you walked to the park. The leaves fell from the trees, when you looked around you saw couples wearing matching scarves and such. The smell of chai and pumpkin in every corner. Meeting your gaze you saw Kenma’s favorite bakery. Slowly you walked over opening the door and you immediately noticed this pie section. You made your way over biting your lip and you looked up at the sudden voice.

“Y/n.. is that you?” As you eye’s met the other you immediately recognized Bokuto.

“Oh hey.. nice to see you again.” You smiled weakly. Unfortunately your eyes were wet and glossy as soon as you walked into the bakery, and you didn’t know if you could handle pushing down the tears anymore.

“Where’s Kenma..? Are you okay..?” He asked softly, gently rubbing your back as he seemed to be alone at the moment. You didn’t wanna cause any more issues but you couldn’t help it, immediately you started to cry.

“I messed up, I really messed up..” you mutter as he gently leads you to a seat.

“Hey everything will be okay.. just tell me what’s wrong. I know you can work through it okay..? We can do it!” he smiled. He had always been a big brother to you. He knew just what to say to calm you down.

“I got drunk again and this time I just was a mess I guess.. and Kenma seems to be getting tired of me and me doing this. Doing all this dumb shit and messing around. But I just.. I don’t know. I wanna cuddle and hug and go on dates. But Kenma just got his dream job and I don’t wanna fuck it up. I know its so fucking selfish. I shouldn’t do this to him. I know I shouldn’t. I deserve to get yelled at and stuff I mean seriously.. he has to pick me up at three every fucking week because I’m to stupid to tell him how I feel and how I just want to be held and stuff. I just wonder sometimes.. Maybe I am not as perfect as I thought I was for Kenma. He needs someone who can be there for him all the time and I know I just know that I will keep fucking up..” You were shaking. “I mean seriously.. I am not even able to tell him I love him much less tell him about how his job is bugging me. It’s the one thing he wanted to do. The one fucking thing he really wanted to do. I just wasn’t able to support him.. I couldn’t.. I just keep hurting him..” tears were rolling down your face.

“Y/n.. hey it's okay, but he will never know anything if you keep holding it to yourself. Kenma has always been like that. He gets bugged by things but won’t say anything until he is at his limit. He never understood the importance of communication.. and he never ever takes the first steps okay? I understand that you're frustrated but you knew when you got into a relationship with him what type of person he is. You knew he was hard to understand. You told me you did. But I don’t think that you would give up this easily. You and him are the same, there will never be an understanding between you too if you guys don’t talk it out. Okay..? I suggest you get some pie and walk back to talk it out with him. I mean to be honest his stream today seems to be a mess. So it must really be bugging him and it would be better to figure it out sooner don’t you think..?” He smiled softly as you nodded. “Good. I have to go but look if you ever need to talk just message me okay? I’ve got your back!” He smiled, getting up and walking out.

You got up and bought two slices of apple pie and started to walk back. It was going to be tough to do this but you needed to. You knew you needed too.

Kenma couldn’t stay concentrated so the stream only lasted ten minutes before he turned it off and went back out to the living room. Which is when he found out you had left. Sadly his first thought was that you had gone drinking so he called up one of your friends to ask. When he found out you hadn’t he was even more worried. He looked around for a moment before he sat on the couch and held a pillow waiting. Hoping you would come back home. He wanted to fix this. He went too far. He knew he did. He knew he did of course he did. He knew he blew up, he always did and he tried not to but it was so fucking hard.

When you came into the room you immediately saw him lying on the couch cuddled up and crying. “What have I done..” You whispered softly as you made it next to you gently placed the pie down and looked at him. “I am sorry..” he looked up to you a bit and immediately his face changed.

“Oh thank god you're okay..” he whispered softly, “I didn’t me-”

You cut him off, “I messed up. I knew I did and I just want you to listen okay? I love you and I know I rarely say it. For a matter of a fact I can count the amount of times I’ve said it with one hand. I know I need to say it more okay? I know I shouldn’t drink but it is just really hard sometimes.. I just wanna go on dates and hold you and shit and I know it sounds so fucking stupid but sometimes I just get worried that if I do you will get sick of me faster okay..? So I just thought it would be easier to do it with my friends and stuff and get drunk and try to not bug you. You just got your dream job and I just don’t wanna fuck anything up more but I clearly have. I know I’m stupid and inconsiderate and I will think about it more.. just please don’t leave. Please. I will be better I swear.” You tried not to cry but you couldn’t help yourself.

Slowly he pulled you to him and held you tight. “I wasn’t planning to leave you anytime soon.. It is my fault I always don’t pay attention and It ends up hurting you and I know I should try and think about your feelings more. But I get scared to ask about it because I think if I do then you will think something is wrong but clearly that doesn’t work. So I will try to open up more okay.. I love you so much babe.. I love you.” He whispered softly, kissing your forehead.

“I love so so much too.. I love you..” You whispered. It would take time but soon everything would be perfect.. everything would be okay again.

Suna

It was hard to believe that Suna was still playing volleyball. It wasn’t a problem to you at all, to be frank you were glad that he decided to do something he loved. You were glad he wasn’t stuck at a desk all day. It just sucked when he came home all tired and unable to hang out. But maybe it would be the same either way. It just bugged you when he didn’t come home till like twelve and blamed it on practice. You didn’t wanna think that he was lying to you but you never really knew much about volleyball. It could be easily right but it just ticked you off that he came home so late. Claiming that he already had dinner and stuff. But there wasn’t anything you could really do about it. This was his passion. He loved to play volleyball and all you could do was give him your undying love and support.You worked hard, enjoying your job. Though it also got frustrating when your schedules conflicted so you couldn’t hang out but that was just life. There wasn’t anything you could do about it, and that was okay.

Suna got home late again. It was the middle of the night when you heard the shower start. He didn’t even say hello. He knew you were up. He had to know. You always were up when he came in. Mainly because you wanted to make sure he was okay when he got back. You wanted to make sure he got back. You were worried easily but it was going to be okay. Of course it was. You just had to tell yourself everyday and it would be true.. right?

When Suna walked into the room he slowly slipped next to you. “Sorry about the wait angel.. I promise soon I will have time off okay and we can hang out.” He muttered softly as his warm, soft arms wrapped around you. The smell of cherry blossoms radiated off of him. He used your hair wash sometimes, he claimed it made him feel like you were with him all the time and that made him happy. His wet hair touched your back as he held you close.

It was hard to be mad at him when he got like this. He was so soft when he was tired. He always made the same promise. At the beginning you believed him, you waited for it to happen but at this point you just tried to forget that he even said it because it just hurt you more. Of course it did. You were holding on to this stupid hope that he will get more time to hang out. That hope that soon everything would be okay. “It’s okay baby.. get some rest okay..?” You muttered softly. You turned your head slightly, kissing his head as you faced the front again. Closing your eyes you hoped everything would be okay once more.

The morning came quickly. The sun shone through the blinds, then the feeling of coldness hit as you turned over to the empty bed. Heh. What were you thinking? Did you really think that he was going to wait for you..? God sooner or later you really had to realize this relationship was more one sided then anything. That this thing was going to be a forever relationship. But god fuck, this was just as real as a fake relationship. It was only one when it was a relationship when it was convenient. It sucked but none of his teammates even knew about you and him being in a relationship. It sucked to feel like you were being forced to be hidden. It almost felt like he was embarrassed of you. It had gone on long enough. You were so fucking done. This was too hard to hold on.

After packing a bit you got up and grabbed your stuff. Getting up you headed out taking your car to one of your only friend’s houses. It was hard to have a conversation with him let alone try and explain how you felt. So you decided to take a night off from seeing him, and try and clear your head. You didn’t wanna break up, fuck that was the last thing you wanted to do. You decided not to leave a note.. secretly kind of hoping it would make him a bit worried or something. So you knew he actually noticed.. or actually liked you. Suna always had a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ additude and that was one of the big reasons you were drawn to him. He was always so free, he didn’t care what people had to say about him.. Something you wished you could have but it really didn’t matter because he had you back, back then.

After a few hours of hanging out your friend took your phone away from you, being that you had been waiting for a call from Suna. They powered it off and placed it on a shelf gently slipping next to you. They smiled. You and them were alway close. They had been with you for every break up and to be honest you even tried dating, though it didn’t work out it was a great experience and you would still have done it to this day. When night struck instead of waiting for Suna you actually were kind of relieved the fear of him not coming home kind of slipped off your shoulders as you laid down next to your friend. Closing your eyes you hoped for everything to get better. You wished that he would be able to get some free time and such.

On the other hand when Suna came home he did what he always did, take a shower and head to bed. But this time you weren’t there, you weren't waiting for him. He looked around almost instantly running to check if your shoes were there, which they weren’t. Now a bit shaken up he took a deep breath and walked over to check if anything else was missing. Once he did it kind of hit him harder than expected. Running to grab his phone he began to call you. It was too late out and it was pitch black, fear had settled in as he realized what could have happened. All the things that could have happened, might have happened. He immediately put on his shoes, his hair still wet. God even knows he can hear you to dry his hair before he leaves, in hope he won't get sick. He unlocked his car calling you for the third time, unsurprisingly he heard the same voice mail.

“Hey this is y/n! It seems you are trying to reach me. At the moment I might be busy or have missed your call! Please try and call again or leave a message. I promise to get back to you as soon as I can!”

It had been a wet month as the rain hit the floor but Suna didn’t seem to mind. So maybe he was being over dramatic but you never have been away from him during the night from the day you guys started dating. So for you not even to mention that you weren’t going to be home was fucking with him. He did the next best thing, calling your best friend. Lucky for him they picked up. “Hey is y/n there.. they're not picking up and I really wanna make sure they're okay..” he muttered his breath was loud. Almost as if he was having trouble breathing and such.

“Ya, do you wanna pick them up they seem to be having trouble sleeping.. and it seems like you guys need to work through a few things so maybe it would be best if you did..'' They were surprised that he called. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you or anything, it was just that it didn’t always seem like he was that interested in you, as if being convenient to them and such. So for him to call up your friend was quite unexpected.

When Suna arrived he got out and knocked on the door after being met with your friend, “I’m only telling you this once so listen to me. Y/n loves you okay? If you're not interested just let them be okay? There are a bunch of people who would kill to be with them. If you do not have the time for them please just let them be, so they can find someone who can take care of them when they need someone too. Y/n is quiet about their feelings but that doesn’t mean you can only be with them when it is convenient to you, let alone only at night. If you don’t want to step up please just step down and let someone else fill your role for you. They are hurting to much because of your actions and you don’t seem to ever fucking care. Please just let them go if you're done.. This game has been over a long time ago. You won okay. You always will be against y/n..” they moved to the side letting the startled Suna in. “They're over there, if you don’t wanna carry them it is okay just call me over because I don’t want them to be woken up.” Suna shook his head gently. How fucking dare they assume that this was all a game to him. How dare they assume that he didn’t actually love you..? Why did they assume those things..?

Suna picked you up gently, gently you clung to him and his warmth. It was cold in the room and Suna seemed to be the only solution to it. It surprised Suna quite a lot, finding out that you were clinging to him. Being that at night he always hugged you, but you just wanted to give him space so he wouldn’t be bored of you. “Hey angel sorry for making you wait all these nights.. I promise I will be there okay.. please don’t move on I really do love you.. your my everything and I know it is stupid of me to talk to you while your asleep but sometimes I get to nervous to talk to you and I just want everything to be okay with you. Your friend is right though.. There is no excuse for what I am doing to you. I am so sorry.. angel trust me I really love you. I would be so fucking lost without you.” he muttered holding on to you tightly as he grabbed your stuff and carried you out. It was still raining as he tried his best to shelter you from the rain running to the car as he placed you in the front. It took him a moment to get you comfortable or at least that what he hoped was comfortable. He had placed a blanket on you and buckled you up as he moved to the front and started driving. It was a good thirty minute drive, and he knew soon you guys had to go back to go get your car but at this moment all he was worried about was you. “God angel.. I can’t compete with everyone else after you.. why did you choose me.. why are you still with me..?” he muttered. He gently held your hand as he looked out. You were always so cold. Suna on the other hand was like a walking heat source. Maybe because he was so big that he could hold you tight and stuff and it just made it feel warmer or something but it worked better than you could imagine.

It took a bit of time but soon you had arrived, sadly the rain hadn’t eased up. Suna got out first picking you up as he wrapped the blanket around you so you wouldn’t get cold or wet. You shifted around in his arms. “mm..” you muttered your eyes fluttering open with the feeling of his arms again and the feeling of movement. You held on tightly to Suna, “Baby..?” you grumbled softly confused where you were and what you were doing. Why was he here? More importantly, how did he find you.. did he really care? God it felt great to think that he did.

“Ah I’m sorry for waking you angel.. close your eyes I’ve got you now.. that house was too cold. I’ve got you now. We are home so you can be nice and warm again okay..? Don’t worry I’ve got you now so everything will be okay. I am going to take a break from practice for the week okay..? I am going to ease up on the practice so you won’t have to worry. I love you so much. I know I haven’t been a good boyfriend and I know I need to step it up. Will I be okay? Don’t worry I am going to be better for you okay. I am sorry about everything I’ve done to hurt you and I am going to do my best to make you feel better.. and if it doesn’t help I will let go okay. I’m going to finally let you breathe but please just give me just one more chance. I know I love you, and I know I don’t show it but I promise I do. If I didn’t please tell me what was that pain in my chest when I didn’t see you, I know I sound stupid I know I do but I know I really do love you. Hearing what your friend said and I know they're right but it just hit me. I am not ashamed of you.. you know that right..? I just don't want my team to know because last time when word got out I was dating someone the pressure was to muc. on them and the new articles and stuff and I just don’t wanna pressure you. I don’t want us to end because of that. I want everything to be perfect. I know I come home late, I just.. I don’t know. I know it is too much on you and I don't want that I just don’t everything to be over because of an argument that could have been avoided if I just you know.. not came home or something. I know it is no excuse but I am telling the truth please believe me. I can’t live without you.. I love you so much please baby.. fuck. I keep rambling. I am sorry angel. get some rest we will talk about this in the morning..” he muttered softly walking inside and gently placing you in bed as he walked and changed coming back as soon as he could.

You were wide awake.. but you just wanted to wait so you knew he would still be there when you woke up. So you knew he wouldn’t be gone before anything. So you knew he wasn’t lying anymore. “Night baby..” you muttered as his arms wrapped around you.

“Good night angel.. I love you so much..” He muttered, closing his eyes.

When the morning came you were surprised when you felt his body tight around you. “Morning my angel..” he muttered. “Did you get some good rest..?”

“Good morning.. mhm.. thank you for staying.. you don’t understand how worried I was that you were going to leave before I could say anything.. But thank you. I love you so much okay.. and I don’t what my friend said but please ignore him.. I only love you.. I will only ever love you. Please try and stay home more. It is getting hard to handle and I know it is selfish but I just want you to stay longer sometimes. I know you want the best for me but please.. it makes me feel like you actually don’t love me and I know it is wrong but I get scared and I don’t want to be.. please believe me when I say that I can handle it.. I just wanna be with you more. I just want to be what you want. I love you so much..” You were trying not to cry but you were.

“Angel… I love you so much. I will tell the whole world.. I want to. Will I be okay? I will stay with you till you wake up and eat Breakfast with you. I will come home sooner so you're not scared anymore.. I’ve got you and everything I’ve ever wanted so please don’t cry.. I love you so fucking much angel..” he whispered kissing you. This felt good.. refreshing, you felt okay for the first time in a while. You felt happy. You were going to be alright now, he was going to keep you safe and you would do the same thing. You loved each other and that's all that would ever matter because you two were made for each other.

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