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sunshine-daisies-library · 8 months

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starry eyed lies | ashton irwin x pop star!reader

author's note: had been cooking this one for a while, might be really sloppy bc i had zero time to work on it lol

summary: as a publicity stunt to boost the popularity of five seconds of summer, ashton is forced to fake date you, a rising pop star that has stolen the hearts of listeners around the world.

warnings: fighting, social media, cyber-bullying?, swearing, mentions of weed, fake dating trope, Ashton is labeled a "bad boy" lol, angst

word count: 11.0k

It was supposed to be a simple “fix-all.” Following the tour for Sounds Good Feels Good, the boys were running on a high. Their names were known all over the world, and they were loved by all girls for not only their music but their looks, too. But with a running high, things must come to an end, as the boys began to falter on their positive fame streak. From negative articles to drama tabloids being released about them, the boys were torn apart by critics and haters alike for their rock star-bad boy attitude. Wherever they made a mistake -one drink too many or ending up in another drama with other celebrities- the press was right there to pick them and prod them where it hurt. The boys’ hands were tied, and it looked like it was the end for their band as they knew it.

“I’m really at a loss here,” their publicity manager sighed, holding a news article in her hand. On the headlines it stated “Aussie Punk Rock Boys Strike Again: Another Party Gone Wrong.” Depicted in the photo were Luke and Ashton’s headshots taken by the L.A.P.D. It was yet another public disturbance report with additional fines allotted because they were under the influence. On top of that, Luke was still underage and not allowed to drink.

“I mean, really,” she pressed, tossing the paper onto the coffee table. “Another disturbance report? I thought I told you guys to cut down on parties and alcohol. What were you thinking?”

And to be completely honest, they weren’t thinking. With press on their backs and paparazzi following them everywhere they went, the boys felt completely constricted. Stress was building up in their systems and they lacked an older figure -someone more knowledgeable in the music industry- to guide them through their early onset of fame. One mistake after the other just egged each other on, leaving them feeling hopeless and self-destructive. It got to a point where Ashton considered doing one last big stunt to end his career entirely. At least then he’d finally get to go back home and away from the drama.

But he couldn’t do that to his boys. His best friends he more so considered brothers had dreamed of moving to L.A. and making music for everyone to hear. Hell, it was his dream, too. He couldn’t possibly throw all of that away for his own selfish desires. Ashton still had to admit that he was getting tired of constantly being under the spotlight with little reward from it.

“I’m sorry Manuela,” Luke said, hanging his head low. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“I hope I can count on you guys when you say that,” she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Because there’s only so much I can do on my end to get you guys out of the hole you put yourselves into.”

Michael leaned over his knees, determined to make things right. “Tell us what we can do,” Michael insisted. “We can clean ourselves up, we swear. We promised to take this break as a time to fix ourselves and really focus on our music.”

“See, that’s the thing,” Manuela pointed out. “Taking a break is the perfect opportunity to get out of the spotlight and focus on bettering yourselves. But, completely escaping the press and media will make you guys fade out of the music industry. So we have to find an even balance between the two.”

“How?” Calum asked curiously. A frown rested on his tired face. Anyone could tell the bad press was getting to him. It was getting to all of them. “Everyone practically hates us.”

Manuela grabbed the remote from the table and turned on the TV, connected to her computer. “That’s where we come in,” she started, sharing her screen to the boys. “What we need is a fresh face that’s receiving positive feedback to get you guys on everyone’s good side again.” She flicked through meaningless graphs and percentages of social media engagement and views on YouTube for their tour diaries and music videos. Ashton winced at the downward trend for each graph. “My team’s first option was One Direction. But considering the break they decided to go on, it’s obviously not a viable choice anymore.”

“So who do you have in mind?” Ashton spoke up, flicking his hand up to ask his question.

Their publicity manager clicked the remote to change slides. On the screen was a beautiful girl, smiling at the paparazzi. You looked shy, definitely new to the L.A. music scene but confident nonetheless.

“Woah, y/n l/n?” Michael awed. “I’ve listened to her music before. She’s sick.”

“And also America’s new pop princess,” Manuela informed them. “After touring with Taylor Swift as her opening act for the 1989 tour, she’s gained considerable popularity. She’s just moved to L.A. and records at the studio a couple blocks down. She’s new to the industry, but she’s promising.” Manuela switched off the TV and turned to the boys. “And she’s probably your only option.”

“Hold on,” Ashton said. He was struggling to wrap his head around this. “What do you want us to do with her? Record a song with her? Not to be rude or anything, but her music genre doesn’t mix well with our type of stuff, and I don’t feel like writing lovey-dovey shit.”

Manuela chuckled at his immediate disgust at the idea. “No, we weren’t thinking that,” she reassured him. “For now, at least. What we need is a good influence in your lives for the public to see. Someone like y/n.”

“So what now?” Ashton raised an eyebrow. “We just knock on her door and become best friends?”

“Ash,” Calum scolded him, smacking his knee. “Be nice. y/n and I are mutuals on social media and she’s had nothing but nice things to say about us.”

Manuela snapped her fingers. “Exactly,” she agreed. “Calum and Michael are already acquainted with her. We need a bigger step to bring you guys into the limelight.” The older woman turned to Ashton, ironically the one member that was most against this whole ploy. “We need you to date y/n.”

The four boys let out shouts of differing emotions. Michael was shocked, Calum was confused, Luke was jealous, and Ashton was no doubt opposed.

“Why him!” Luke whined. “He doesn’t want to do it, let me! I’ll gladly date her.”

Manuela shook her head, adamant on her decision. “It’s gotta be Ashton, I’m afraid,” she said. “His “bad boy” persona is the most detrimental to your overall image. He’s got to be the one. Not to mention, y/n requested him specifically.”

“Oh great,” Ashton groaned, voice dripping in sarcasm. “The plan is to sell me off as some pop star’s boy toy? How come she’s in on it and I have no choice?”

“That’s not the plan,” Manuela told him firmly. “It was created in agreement between her team and yours. She needs all the publicity she can get to boost her fame and, well, you guys are aware of your own situation. It’s all for show, Ashton. All we ask is a few dates in public and even a kiss or two for the press.”

Michael snickered. “He won’t have a problem with that,” he muttered under his breath.

“But,” Manuela cut the boy off. “We’re not asking you to marry her. It’s just a few months and then an amicable split. She’s going on tour at the end of the year, and you boys are going on your writing retreat. By then, both of you will be able to part ways and your relationship will be a thing of the past. She gets the publicity, your reputation gets fixed. It’s a win-win situation.”

“Not for me,” Ashton fought back. He wanted nothing to do with this. Hell, he didn’t want anything to do with the band anymore. Each night, he plotted excessive plans to escape his prison called L.A. and fly back to Sydney to be with his family. He was sick of the lights, the glamor, the fame.

He glanced back at his friends. His heart clenched at the dark bags under Calum’s eyes, and Michael’s uncharacteristically extra pale complexion from the lack of sleep. Anxiety had riddled the entire band, and it was clear on Luke’s hands where he had been picking at his fingertips. They were a wreck, and Manuela made it seem like he was their last hope. If he said no, they could pack up their things and go home. He’d get what he wanted all along. But Ashton couldn’t let go of the sparkling looks in their eyes when they received word from One Direction that they wanted them to open up for their concerts. He saw hope in their futures, saw something bigger in store for them. In some way, Ashton could still see that innocence in their eyes, blocked slightly by their stress and nerves. He was their last chance to bring that optimism back.

“I’ll do it,” he gave in. The boys let out whoops of joy, tackling Ashton into a hug. Ashton was frustrated beyond belief, but he faked a smile just to see his boys get their spark back.

–

Ashton was immediately regretting his decision the moment he stepped foot into the restaurant. The restaurant was too expensive for his taste, the kind of eatery that sold mediocre food primarily for you to post on social media for your “friends” to envy you. If this place was your idea as Manuela mentioned, it was only a mere insight of your personality. And without even meeting you yet, Ashton was beginning to loathe you.

The musician checked his watch again, keeping his head down and away from any prying eyes. You were ten minutes late, and if you kept this up, Ashton predicted you wouldn’t even show up. Ashton swore under his breath, growing more and more annoyed by you. He never should have agreed to this plan.

Suddenly, you came bursting through the door. Your eyes peered around the store before finding Ashton’s, immediately heading to the table he had saved. Ashton fought the urge to roll his eyes at your lack of sunglasses or hoodie. It was like you were begging for attention. Which, now he thought, you probably were.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” you apologized profusely, setting your bag on the ground and pulling out your notebook. A waitress immediately went to your table to take your orders. Ashton had only wanted water, but you ordered one milkshake and a side of cannolis. “Traffic was terrible, as per usual in L.A. I suppose. And then my publicity manager asked me to get my hair down for today, then she scheduled a nail appointment-” You took a deep breath, running out of air from talking so quickly. “I feel like a dress up doll,” you joked, giving the Aussie a sheepish smile.

Ashton, however, was not amused. He barely returned your smile, his eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Whatever,” he murmured. “Let’s just pretend to look happy when the press gets here. We were supposed to have a ten minute prep time but since you decided to be late-”

“I didn’t decide to be late-” you fought back incredulously.

“We only have three minutes max to plan something good for the press to take a picture of,” Ashton finished, sending a glare your way for interrupting him halfway.

You huffed, deep in thought before concocting something paparazzi worthy. “Just follow my lead, okay?” you said, watching a swarm of paparazzi approach the restaurant. The waitress set down your order and was about to dash off when you asked for two straws.

Ashton raised an eyebrow at your idea, not exactly following along. You stuck the two straws into the glass, taking a healthy sip from it. You let out a moan of delight, smiling to yourself at the taste. Ashton fought the urge to chuckle at your almost innocent-like demeanor. He coughed to cover up his laugh, still stubborn enough to maintain his grudge against your tardiness.

You took the paper wrapping of one straw and glanced up at the drummed in front of you. Tying the wrapper together, you raised the knot up. “Tug the other side,” you instructed.

Ashton gave you a pointed look but pulled the wrapper nonetheless, pulling until the paper gave way and snapped in half. The knot remained on your end, making you cheer in victory.

“I still don’t understand what the hell you’re doing,” he grumbled.

You ignored him, closing your eyes and whispering to yourself. Ashton leaned back, not fighting back an eye roll. “Great,” he muttered. “I’m on a date with a weirdo.” How was this supposed to get the band good publicity?

Opening your eyes again, you set the wrapper down. “I was just making a wish,” you explained as if it was the most obvious thing. “You never did that before? Tie a knot in the straw wrapper, pull, and whoever gets the knot gets to make a wish.”

“That’s,” Ashton took a deep breath. “The biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard in my life.”

You scoffed playfully, cocking your head to get a good look at the paparazzi. More photographers approached the windows, taking hundreds of photos of the two of you. “Try smiling more,” you told him. “Maybe people wouldn’t crown you with the “bad boy of the band” title if you did.”

“I’m not the bad boy of the band,” Ashton retorted, smiling nonetheless. It was a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, but it satisfied the press who started flashing their cameras more frequently at the sight of it.

Snorting, you took his hand and weaved your fingers together as you took another sip of your -now shared- milkshake. You let out a quiet giggle despite no one saying anything funny.

“You’re terrible at this,” Ashton deadpanned.

“I’ve seen people do this in movies,” you responded, shaking your head as if he said something unbelievable.

“Doesn’t mean it’s a good idea,” he said back, responding to your head shake with a chuckle.

You hummed, turning away and muttering under your breath, “Look who’s talking.”

Ashton couldn’t help but be amused by your clever comebacks. He never expected you to be able to keep up with his sarcastic comments. But here you were, dishing them out faster than he can create one.

“Anyways,” you continued breezily. “You’re so the bad boy of the band.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked, readjusting his position in his chair to prepare himself for whatever response you’d curated.

You took a pause to collect your thoughts. You took a bite of your cannoli as you thought to yourself. “First off,” you swallowed the remaining bits of the pastry. “In your first album, you’re the only one looking away from the camera frowning. Luke’s looking away, but at least he’s smirking a little bit. That’s big bad boy energy. And the bandana? Come on, you’re trying so hard to be edgy but I see your smile behind the drums.”

Ashton rolled his eyes for the millionth time that day. “Good to know you’ve done your research.”

“I have to get to know my new fake boyfriend,” you waved him off jokingly. “What am I supposed to do? Go into this blind? Surely you’ve done some research about me.”

The Australian musician hesitated to respond. “I may have skimmed the binder?” he responded, a little bit embarrassed. He didn’t expect to have to know everything about you and your career.

You squeeze his hand, reminding him you were still intertwined. “It’s okay,” you assured him. “We’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other later.”

You both turned to the windows and noticed the swarm of photographers only grew in size, all of them in huddles behind cars. “You think we gave them enough to look at?” you asked. Not waiting for a response, you placed a couple bills on the table and pulled Ashton up with you.

“Where are we going?” Ashton questioned as you both braved the outdoors, instantly getting bombarded by the paparazzi. Taking on a protective boyfriend role, Ashton wrapped an arm around your shoulders and lent you his sunglasses to wear.

“Don’t worry!” you said, raising your voice a bit due to the loud calls of interviewers calling out to them. “I know a place!”

You sprinted down the street and took a sharp right, tugging Ashton along with you. Impressively enough, you were fast enough to lose the press. Soon enough, you found the place you were looking for and dove in.

The drummer blinked a couple times, trying to regain his sight after the millions of flashes nearly blinded him. Once his vision turned back to normal, he looked around the room to see a relatively empty restaurant. The lights were dim and gave the feel of a speakeasy but also had sweet handmade decorations adorning the walls. The place was endearing to him, somehow, because of how unabashedly unique it was.

You directed Ashton to your favorite table in the back corner while you went up to the counter to order for the both of them. By the time Ashton had gathered his bearings in his seat, you returned with a tray full of food.

“Welcome to the “Quilted Corner,” you introduced him to the cafe. “Everyone’s favorite eatery in the darkest corner of Los Angeles. And by everybody I mean probably just me and five other people.”

Ashton nodded dubiously, understanding the unique name for the place once he got a good look at the grandma-esque decorations.

“And what do you have in your tray of horrors?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at the assorted foods.

You began to divide the food between the two of you, the mountain of greasy foods slowly turning into a valley and then nothing at all.

“I’m going to change your goddamn life, Irwin,” you declared, taking a napkin and wiping your hands with it. “This is the order Granny Stevenson -the owner- recommended to me when I first came here. I was lost in the city looking for a place to duck and cover from the paparazzi and came across this lovely place.”

You gestured to the spread of foods. “This is the “homesick cure,”” you told him. “It consisted of two double cheeseburgers, a side of fries, and a milkshake. All completed with Granny Stevenson’s special sauce.”

“And a heart attack,” Ashton deadpanned.

You ignored his statement. “This place is really special to me,” you confessed. “It actually cured my homesickness and Granny Stevenson is a grandma-away-from-home to me. This place is where I go to write songs or just get away from it all.”

Ashton poked at his order, a thin film of oil coating his fingertips. “I don’t see the inspiration factor here,” he said, his nose scrunched up. “It just looks like another fast food place in America.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, sad mis-fed rockstar,” you said with a smirk. You pointed at the one last item you didn’t mention. “Behold the Grandpa Stevenson special.” You held up the dish and smelled it deeply. “A blueberry cheesecake made in-house with all the love this place can put into it. Name a place that sells that kinda love, Ashton.”

“I’m pretty sure Burger King sold that at one point in a mall food court,” he snipped back.

You narrowed your eyes at the pessimistic drummer. “Not sold with love,” you reminded him. “Besides, they actually make this stuff here. No processed shit, only love.”

Ashton scoffed, turning his head away from the table. Love. What a load of bullshit. If you were gullible enough to buy into the “love” this restaurant sold you, you definitely wouldn’t make it in the cut throat music industry. You were too innocent. It was only a matter of time until those producers and media companies tear you apart like they did with him and the band.

Despite his negative attitude, he took a fork and tried a piece of the cheesecake. The light dessert just about melted on his tongue, the flavors of cream, blueberry, and cinnamon dancing along his tongue. It was the best thing he’s ever tried.

“Told ya,” you sang, eating your own meal with a knowing smirk on your face.

Ashton feigned a look of disgust. “You didn’t tell me shit,” he grumbled. “It tastes like every other cheesecake.” That was a lie. It wasn’t like anything he’d ever tasted. Somehow, it tasted like home.

You tried to wipe your messy face with a napkin. “No one that thinks this is an average cheesecake makes that kinda face.” When Ashton didn’t understand, you sighed, preparing to make the same face. “It’s the look you get when you touch down in your hometown after an eleven hour flight. Or the face you make when you write a banger bridge for a song you’ve dedicated weeks to. Or it’s the look you get when everything makes sense in the world.”

Ashton stabbed his cheesecake and shoveled more of it into his mouth. Pure Heaven. “Whatever,” he huffed.

The two of you finished the rest of your meal in silence, aside from sighs of content from you because the food was that damn good. You finished off your milkshake, but not before picking up the straw wrapper and tying a knot, just like you did at the cafe before.

“Pull away, rockstar,” you instructed. Reluctantly, Ashton followed suit and tugged at the paper, the knot ending up on his side this time. You cheered, clasping your hands together. “It’s your turn now! Your first wish that shall be granted by the straw gods.”

Ashton shot you a look before tossing the wrapper to the side. “I don’t really care for wishes,” he stated plainly. You frowned at his negative attitude and that look alone made Ashton’s heart lurch. He instantly felt bad for the way he’s been treating you; it wasn’t your fault the press hated him. But still, he couldn’t help but put some blame on you. It was better than wallowing in self hate, he supposed.

“It’s okay,” you collected yourself. “You can save that wish for when you need it.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not going to need it,” he responded sarcastically.

You chuckled, taking a bite out of Ashton’s cheesecake. He let out a shout of protest but you paid no attention to him. “Trust me,” you assured him. “There’s always a time when you need a wish in L.A.”

–

“She’s weird,” Ashton grumbled, readjusting the cuffs of his button up. The boys were preparing for their interview with Buzzfeed in their shared dressing room, fighting for space in front of the mirror.

It’s been a total of three months since you and Ashton started your fake relationship and the media has been eating it up. They followed the both of you everywhere you went, hiding in cars and in alleyways to get a glimpse of the so-called happy couple. You played your part well, holding his hand in public and kissing his cheek whenever you had the opportunity. From the public’s point of view, Ashton was just as taken by you as you were with him. The media fawned over his boyish grin and blush whenever you’d readjust his beanie in the winter cold.

On your end, you were genuinely falling for the boy. Behind closed doors, he was just a boy from Australia, new to the fast paced life of being a celebrity. You saw through his cold facade, slowly cracking through the walls he put up around his heart, and you had a feeling you were growing on him. He’d still quip sarcastic comments and roll his eyes, but you didn’t miss the small smile that would rest on his face when he thought you weren’t looking. As rare as his genuine smiles were, you relished those moments because it was the only times you’d see the real Ashton, not the one he’s put out for the paparazzi.

Ashton, however, was still holding out his grudge against you, albeit very weakly. His tough exterior was indeed toppling slowly. Your kind nature was just too sweet to not find you a little endearing. Ashton would never admit that you had grown on him a little, and a small part of him possibly looked forward to your weekly dates. He learned so much from you, it was as if he never wanted to stop listening to you. Not that he would tell you that, though.

“That’s all you’ve ever said about her,” Michael shot back, glancing at the mirror to check his hair one more time. “Come on, mate, it’s been three months. Surely you have something new to say about her?”

Calum agreed wholeheartedly. “Yeah, she’s come to the studio during her breaks from recording. That’s not even in your dating contract but she still does it.”

“Not to mention she gets us coffee every time,” Luke piped up. “That coffee is addictive, where does she get it?”

Ashton couldn’t help but smile at the thought. He knew you’d always stop by the Quilted Corner -no matter how far of a walk it was- to pick up some coffee. And he knew you always tried to be slick about it, but he’d always catch you tucking away a slice of blueberry cheesecake in the band’s fridge, just for him. He’d never mention it, though. He wanted to let you have your fun.

Calum let out a shout, pointing at the drummer accusingly. “Aha!” he cheered. “I knew she was growing on you!”

“What the hell are you going on about, Cal?” Ashton demanded, exasperated by his friends’ antics.

Calum continued his childish shimmy, the other boys gleefully joining in. “You got that dumb smirk on your face,” Calum smugly pointed out. “You’ve got it bad for y/n, don’t you.”

Before Ashton could respond, the director shouted, “Five minutes till shooting!” Glaring at the boys to keep them silent, Ashton made his way to the chairs in front of the camera, silently praying for this interview to be quick and over with.

“Welcome to Buzzfeed, boys,” the director’s assistant approached them with a smile. She was petite but her voice was strong and insistent. “Make sure to always look at the camera, but above all, smile and don’t look down. The viewers want to see your faces, okay?” Nodding in confirmation, the boys readied themselves for the camera as the assistant swiftly moved out of the way.

“Yeah Ash, don’t doze off dreaming of y/n,” Luke snickered into his ear, making the other boys chuckle along with him -aside from Ashton, of course.

–

The interview went as well as one could expect. The questions about the boys’ past were still continuously brought up but the boys answered the questions with grace they could only credit to Manuela. Luckily enough, the interviewer seemed to enjoy their responses, noting a significant maturity in the boys. They seemed to have gotten over their party phase and turned into serious musicians during their break from tours and parties.

“Final question is for Ashton,” the interviewer shuffled through their papers. “Sources have spotted you and new singer songwriter y/n l/n around L.A. quite a bit following the end of the North American 1989 tour. Now, you both have confirmed your relationship and made it very clear you two are together. Has y/n been an influence in the reshaping of your image in the media?”

Ashton bit the inside of his cheek. Just remember what Manuela rehearsed with you, he thought.

“Yeah, y/n’s been great,” he answered, trying to not sound as monotone as he did during his practice runs. “She’s been such a great influence to me and the boys, always keeping a positive outlook on things. I learn a lot from her, and I’d like to think she’s learned quite a bit from me, too.”

“Like jumping into the neighbor’s pool at midnight?” the interviewer jested, referencing the one time Ashton had drunkenly trespassed his neighbor’s home while they were on vacation.

Ashton tried not to cringe at that one memory, heavily wanting to keep that part of him in the past. “Definitely not that,” he laughed awkwardly. “But definitely in a sense of navigating newly received fame and things like that.”

“That’s great to hear,” they hummed. “Should we be expecting anything from you guys? Maybe a collaboration of some sort?”

The drummed shrugged his shoulders honestly. “It’s all up to her,” he responded. “We’re still taking a break from touring, but we do have an album in the works. Writing music with her is definitely on the table, for sure.”

Ashton wasn’t sure what word vomit was spewing from his lips. Last time he checked, it wasn’t up to you whether or not you wanted to collab with the boys (you were clearly apprehensive about invading his space), he didn’t want to write music with her (possibly due to the fact that the last time you had a joint writing session, he was stuck staring at you curled up on the other side of the couch; you were just mesmerizing but he’d never admit that aloud), and he hated lovey dovey shit (because he hated the warm feeling brewing in his stomach whenever you’d smile or laugh at his jokes). But it wasn’t like he liked you, right? He had to focus on his career, his boys, his life. Not a relationship that’s destined for failure no doubt because of the media.

“I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for you guys, thank you so much for coming to our studio today!” The interviewer finished off the closing statements for their interview while Ashton was left inside his head.

Truth be told, he was conflicted. He had, in fact, gotten significantly closer with you, closer than he’d expected to be at the very least. He still tried to be closed off, tried to push you away from him so he wouldn’t get attached and heartbroken in the end. You just made it so damn difficult.

“Nice responses, Ash,” Michael patted his shoulder as they gathered their things in their dressing room. “Really downplayed how much you liked her there.”

Ashton raised an eyebrow while picking up his phone from the side table. He was stupid enough to not look at the text messages. Particularly the ones from you that stated you were on your way to the studio for your own interview.

“What are you saying, Mike?” Ashton asked tiredly, tired of the relentless teasing and questions he’s gotten about you all afternoon.

“Mike’s saying that we know you’re in so deep with her,” Luke spoke up from the back as he slipped on his jacket. “Like, L-word close with her.”

Love? Why the hell would he love you? This was all a fake set up for their careers, why didn’t they get that?

“Can you guys knock it off?” Ashton snapped, finally raising his voice. “I don’t like y/n and I never will. I don’t even like her as a friend. She’s obnoxious, annoying, and so unbelievably difficult to work with; the two of us will never work out. And thank God for that because if I have to spend more than 10 months with her to save your asses’ careers, I’m leaving the fucking band.”

“Ash-” Calum said meekly.

“No!” he cut him off harshly. “I’m sick of being pushed around like a fucking doll for publicity. The band was doomed from the start because the press won’t leave us the fuck alone. And using y/n as a last Hail Mary is as stupid as it is useless. She’s going to be nothing more than a washed up young celebrity like the rest of us and fade to the past.”

“Ash!” Michael stopped him. “That’s enough, we get it.”

Ashton didn’t piece together their hastiness until it was too late. He turned around to see you standing before them. He didn’t even hear the door open. Your eyes were welling up as your mouth was slightly opened by his outburst.

“Hi guys,” you weakly greeted them.

Ashton took a step forward, freezing when he saw you stagger back. “y/n,” he whispered, unable to know where to start with his apology.

“I have an interview in ten minutes,” you informed them quickly. “I’ll see you around later, yeah?”

You seemed to have taken that as final as you pushed them out of the dressing room and closed the door shut. You didn’t move from the door until you heard all of their footsteps trail off and out of the studio. You let out a shaky breath you didn’t even know you were holding in as you hang your head low. And to think you thought he actually might have liked you, too.

A knock interrupted your thoughts. “Ms. l/n?” a voice spoke up. “My name’s Ryan and my buddy Shane and I wanted to know if–”

“Sorry,” you said, opening the door sheepishly. You hoped your face wasn’t giving away your embarrassment and hurt you were experiencing. “I-um, I think I need to be alone for a sec.”

“Oh!” the taller one exclaimed. “To call Ashton? I think I saw him walk that way.”

You bit your lip, nodding painfully slow. “Yeah,” you croaked. “Thanks, I’ll be headed there soon.”

You didn’t leave any time for debate or questions as you pushed through the pair and walked in the opposite direction, straight to the bathroom. The two men glanced at each other in concern.

“What’s up with her?” Shane asked.

Ryan only shrugged his shoulders. “I guess it’ll remain unsolved,” he mused wisely.

“That’ll be a great name for a show one day!”

“I know right?”

–

You were lucky that there was enough conflict in both of your schedules to postpone your date to three weeks after the interview. To say you were anxious was an understatement. You picked at your fingernails as you waited for Ashton to arrive at the park.

You were conflicted with the entire agreement. A part of you wanted to end the agreement, rip the contract into shreds. Ashton was right, wasn’t he? This plan was useless, and your fifteen minutes of fame were almost up. It was only a matter of time until you were no longer relevant. Then what would you do? You’d have to go back home and start over, and maybe that’s better than what you had for yourself now: a fake relationship for attention.

But at the same time, you had fallen hard for Ashton. Behind his rough exterior was a shy musician that was passionate in what he did. He loved music, but loved his friends and family more. You admired him for that, realizing that he only had a harsh image because he was protective of who he loved. You only wished that he saved that part of himself for you, too.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” a soft voice spoke behind you.

You turned around on your bench to see Ashton standing, hands sheepishly in his pockets. His cheeks were red from the cold as his eyes were trained on the ground.

“Of course I did,” you responded somewhat brusquely. “It’s part of the contract, afterall.”

Ashton scoffed, making you raise an eyebrow irritatedly. You had every right to be a bitch to him. He was the one bad mouthing you in the first place. Your mixed emotions had sat in your stomach for the past few weeks. Your anger was winning out the heartsick feeling.

“What are you scoffing about, rockstar?” you quipped, disgust filling your tone instead of affection as it usually was in the nickname you gave him. “I signed that paper as much as you did.”

“It wasn’t like it was my fucking idea,” he shot back, frustration fueling his voice. He pulled at his hair and laughed, but there was no humor behind it. “In case you forgot, I was forced into this bullshit! And to think I was actually going to apologize to you.”

“About which part?” you shouted back sarcastically. “The part where you called me obnoxious and annoying? Or how about when you couldn’t stand to spend any more time with me or else you’d quit the band? Oh I know! How about when you called me a washed up celebrity? Take your pick, rockstar! You’ve got plenty to choose from!”

“Don’t fucking call me that!” he raised his voice higher than he ever had before. “God, I’m fucking sick of you and your “holier than thou” bullshit! You’re only in this shit for the money and the fame. I’m tired of playing this game and being a fucking plot device to launch your career! Maybe if you actually had substance instead of putting up the “innocent girl from a small town” act, people would like you more! Because Jesus fuck I don’t!”

What Ashton failed to realize was that your ten minute grace period between meeting and the paparazzi coming was up. The photographers circled around you like predators stalking their prey, starving for anything to satisfy their appetites. You were too caught up in your argument, too, oblivious to the prying eyes of the public.

“Don’t act like you’re so perfect,” you spat. “You want my honest opinion about you? I think you’re nothing but a stuck up member of a boyband who’s pissy because the attention’s no longer on him anymore. Face it, Ashton! You’re just like everybody else here! Self-centered, fucked up, and ignorant as all hell. Maybe that’s why the media fucking hates you! It’s not because they twist your actions, you just are a fucking terrible person and it’s about time you realized that!”

Ashton silently seethed, opening and closing his fists as he tried to find the right words to say. “You really think that?” he asked in a low tone. He wasn’t really sure if he wanted to hear your response. Despite his harsh words, he truly craved your validation and he knew that he wasn’t going to hear what he wanted.

“Yes,” you swallowed. “I do.” Silence filled the cold air as you stood at a standstill. The air filled your lungs like icy needles, not yet thawed for the seasonal change that was yet to come. It was like a test between the two of you. Who was going to be the first to bite the bullet and say what’s been on your minds?

You made your decision. “Let’s end this,” you said, voice wavering. “Let’s put the both of us out of our misery and end this once and for all. I think we both got enough of each other.”

Ashton was taken aback. He thought the same thing, but he didn’t think you’d be the one to say it. If he was being honest, he didn’t want to end it. If he could spend the rest of his life on a tightrope, teetering towards anger and frustration for eternity just to be with you, he’d do it. But he knew he was hurting you as much as you were hurting him. He knew what he had to do.

“Good,” he agreed, mustering enough strength to not cry right there. He really was losing the one good thing he had going for him. And it was all his fault. “I’ll have Manuela reach out to your manager. You can..lose my number, I guess.”

“If that’s what you want,” you told him smoothly. On the inside, you were crumbling apart.

Ashton forced a nod. “Yeah, that’s what I want.”

–

He didn’t expect things to get as bad as they did. Ashton knew the paparazzi was everywhere, he always did. But dammit, he got so lost in his anger that it slipped his mind. And the one time it did, everything went wrong.

But for the first time, the blame wasn’t on him. Not in the eyes of the media, at least.

Is America’s Sweetheart y/n l/n Actually a Monster?

Pop Princess y/n l/n rips Australian Musician Ashton Irwin Apart

End of an Era: Irwin-l/n Break Up is Messy and Unexpected

Even on Twitter, you couldn’t catch a break.

#y/nl/nisoverparty

#y/nl/nisasnake

#y/nisthebiggestbitch

#y/nl/nisOVER

On every magazine and gossip column was a picture of your encounter with Ashton at the park. Lucky for Ash, the media only got a glimpse of your rant at him and didn’t get any footage of him yelling back at you. To the public, he looked like the innocent party while you looked completely wicked.

Oh God, Ashton thought. I just ruined her life.

The weeks that followed were rough. Manuela called for a group meeting and told them that their ratings have gone through the roof. 5 Seconds of Summer were finally back on the good side of the press and were labeled as the “innocent boys from Australia” that got “led down the wrong path.” Manuela was happy that her plan had worked; 5SOS is back on track, but she was disappointed at what it cost.

“Is there anything we can do to help her?” Michael asked at the end of the meeting.

Manuela pressed her lips together. “I’m afraid not,” she sighed. “y/n’s manager cut off all ties with us. I think we got the message that she wants nothing to do with us.”

Calum checked his phone, cringing at the amount of tagged posts he was in. All of them bashing you and everything you’ve worked so hard to create.

“We have to do something,” Calum pleaded. “She’s not just a coworker; she’s a friend. She’s always been there for us, even if Ash wasn’t here, she’d come by. We can’t leave her hanging like this.”

“Ash,” Luke turned to his friend, blue eyes pleading and desperate. “Can you talk to her? Maybe we can work something out. Anything.”

Ashton stammered before he responded. What could he do? He was the very last person you’d want to see right now. He got you into this mess and painted you out to be a monster. The blame should have fully been on him. You wouldn’t have yelled at him if he didn’t push you over the limit.

“Why should it be me?” he asked. “She hates me.”

Michael scoffed at his friend, clearly upset at his poor attempt at weaseling his way out of this. “You’re joking,” he deadpanned. “She adored you. Whether you liked her or not she was your biggest supporter. When you weren’t around at the studio, she talked the world about you. You may have not liked her, but she loved you. So you have to fix this.”

“Boys, relax,” Manuela insisted. “I’m certain her publicity team has a plan set for situations like these. She’s probably going to keep quiet for a while then re-emerge into the public scene again once the public wounds have healed. So it’ll be in her best interest and yours if you keep quiet and not cause a scene. Not when the public finally has a positive outlook on you.”

“That’s so..” Luke huffed defeatedly. “Wrong.”

Manuela patted his knee comfortingly. “That’s the music industry, love.”

–

You truly fell off the face of the earth. Ashton was at a loss. After the presumed “silent break” you took, he thought you’d get back into the swing of things. Media tabloids had died down, and it seemed like the public had forgotten about your argument and moved onto the next interesting thing. But you didn’t come back. Not even to your studio, the place remained empty. You didn’t respond to his calls, all of them going straight to voicemail. Your manager only picked up her phone once, insisting he stopped calling if he knew what was best for him. Not even your friends answered his frequent dm’s.

Your instagram was dormant. The last post was of Ashton a month back, playing his guitar and smiling down at his lyric book. He didn’t even realize you took that picture until you posted it. He was a little shocked that you kept it up, considering all things, but at the same time you didn’t post anything anymore. You used to post everyday, updating everyone about your hectic life. All that was left were the photos that remained on your page. Ashton had caught himself too many times scrolling through, just to see your smiling face again. He beat himself up over the fact that his last glimpse of you in person was nothing but a broken shell of who you once were.

Ashton pushed the door open, entering the last place he thought of that you could possibly be in. The smell of the restaurant was the same as it always was, full of spices and sweets that made his mouth water. But he had to stay focused. He needed to find you and talk to you.

Behind the counter, an older couple approached him. Ashton immediately recognized them as the Stevensons, the couple you adored more than their own food. It seemed like they recognized him too once they reached the counter space.

“You must be Ashton,” the older woman said, readjusting her glasses. Her wrinkles appeared as she greeted him with a smile, a sign that she lived a life full of laughter and smiles. The kind of life you confessed you wanted desperately. “y/n has spoken so highly of you.”

Ashton ducked his head, blushing at the compliment. Even when you were gone you still managed to light up the room and make him seem like a better person than he actually was. “That’s actually why I came here,” he told them. “I was wondering if you had seen y/n come by.”

The gentleman beside Mrs. Stevenson shook his head. “Afraid not, son,” he responded. “Not for a while, actually. We were quite disheartened about that, but that girl is always so busy, isn’t she?” Ashton smiled, trying not to wince as he cringed on the inside.

“Let me make you something, honey,” Mrs. Stevenson insisted, rushing to kitchens before he could refuse.

Mr. Stevenson ushered Ashton to the booths, away from the restaurant regulars. Ashton ran his fingers through his hair, the rain soaking his brown locks. Spring was a bitch with the rain, but he knew how much you loved it. “What brings you here, son?” he asked. “You usually come with y/n. Don’t tell me she’s in any sort of trouble now, is she?”

Ashton sat down, dusting off his jeans. “Not exactly,” he answered honestly. “H-have you not heard in the gossip tabloids?”

“Oh no,” Mr. Stevenson waved his hand. “We were never one for those magazines. Sarah is always strict on rechilut.”

Ashton nodded along. “I did something wrong,” he confessed heavily. “And I hurt y/n. Not physically, but honestly it feels worse. I want to make things right, but I don’t think she even wants to talk to me.”

“That’s nonsense,” Mr. Stevenson insisted. “y/n would never cut ties with people like that. Especially you, she was very fond of you.” It seemed like everyone knew that except for Ashton himself. “y/n talked to me like I was her own grandfather. Now, all my kids are grown up and moved out of California, so they don’t come around much. I appreciated her company, and I know for a fact that you shouldn’t give up on her.”

The drummer’s shoulders slumped guiltily. “I don’t think I deserve that,” he told him. “I was awful to her. I did everything wrong. I don’t think she’d believe me if I told her I loved her all along.”

“Do you really love her?” Mr. Stevenson asked him softly.

Ashton looked up into the older man’s gray eyes. He saw so much life, so much wisdom in them. If he looked deeper, he saw himself in his eyes, the him he missed all along. “Yes,” he answered truthfully. “I really do.”

Mr. Stevenson patted his shoulder affectionately. “Then lead with that,” he advised him. “I’ve lived a long life, Ashton. And most of my life has been spent with my dear Sarah. If there’s anything I learned from that, it’s that sometimes you need to shut the hell up and let your love speak for you.”

Ashton let out a tearful chuckle at his advice. Mrs. Stevenson rushed out of the kitchen, a steaming plate in hand. The older woman set it on the table in front of him.

“I hope you don’t mind that I guessed what your homesick cure was,” she said sheepishly. “Artie said I should stop guessing but I had a gut feeling on this one. I was right for n/n, I hope I was right for you.”

Mrs. Stevenson set down the plate to reveal a healthy serving of spaghetti and a glass of water on the table. Ashton’s heart clenched at the sight. “Did I get it right, dear?”

Ashton couldn’t even respond, he just nodded wordlessly like a child on Christmas morning, eager to play with his toys. Mrs. Stevenson chuckled at his response, ruffling his hair gently like a mother would. “Eat it while it’s hot, honey,” she told him. “And I’m sorry, but it seems like someone forgot to order another package of straws. You’ll have to drink from the glass, I’m afraid.”

Artie stood up from his side of the booth, playfully rolling his eyes. “I’m on it, honey,” he responded, following closely behind his wife. Before leaving to the kitchen, he turned around and gave the boy a wink.

Left to his own devices, Ashton tucked his hand into his jacket and nearly jumped out of his seat in shock. Pulling it out, he realized it was the knotted end of the paper straw wrapper from so long ago. Turns out he really did need that wish.

“Let me make things right,” he wished in his head. “I just want one last chance to do the right thing.”

Setting it on the table, all Ashton could do was hope that whatever was out in the universe heard him.

–

Soon enough, you did emerge from the shadows of your hiatus. You were lucky to have a loyal enough fanbase to keep you afloat, and your tour was still set for that summer. You were grateful for the fans that stuck around, and the new ones that came along the way. It was a rough journey, but you tried your best to power through it to the best of your ability.

Now, you were in your dressing room at the venue you were expected to perform in, an absolute fucking wreck. You were curled up on your couch, trembling and unable to even raise your head from your chest. Sobs filled your room, but you insisted to every manager and passersby that you needed to be alone and fix it yourself.

To tell the truth, you never truly recovered from the media frenzy that took you and Ashton by storm. You knew you had every right to turn the tides on him, revealing to the world that he wasn’t the perfect saint everyone painted him out to be. But you didn’t, and no one on your publicity team was able to figure out why.

The reason was that you were still unexplainably attached to Ashton. Somehow, even though he put you in the situation where everyone started to hate you, you couldn’t help but now be able to understand why he acted the way he did. How he was overprotective of the boys and acted out of self preservation simply because of how cruel the media could be. By no means did you excuse him for putting you in that situation, but you still grasped some understanding.

The difference between you and the drummer, however, was that he had a support system: his boys. You were practically alone to deal with the mess, cornered and vulnerable.

You were shaking frantically in your room, unable to free yourself from your thoughts. Only one look at your phone caused your entire psyche to crumble. One fucking tweet about you shook your confidence. Some anonymous user critiqued your music, only attributing your success to your past “relationship” with Ashton. Those simple words broke down the walls you were just beginning to rebuild, and now you were stuck in your dressing room, thirty minutes before you were called onstage.

Meanwhile, Ashton was navigating through the maze backstage looking for you. A bouquet of your favorite flowers were in one hand, a handwritten card in the other. He figured you’d be somewhere backstage, prepping for your show. He didn’t count on you being in your dressing room since you told him in the past that you loved to watch the crowd from behind the curtains.

But to his shock, you were still in your pajamas hyperventilating on the couch. Ashton has witnessed this before; he’s experienced this before. But seeing you go through the same struggles he and his boys went through caused his heart to ache even more.

“y/n?” he called out to you. You didn’t respond, eyes still trained on the ground as your grip around your legs tightened. Ashton set his things down on the side table, instantly kneeling in front of you.

“Ashton?” you finally spoke, voice raspy and exhausted. For a split second, you thought you were actually hallucinating, envisioning the one man you needed but feared the most. But his cologne wafted into your nostrils, alerting you it was him in the flesh. “What are you-” You heaved a deep breath, choking out a sob. You could barely take the overwhelming stress towering over you like a deadly ocean wave. It was only a matter of time until it took you under and swallowed you whole.

“Love, I’m going to need you to breathe,” he instructed, his hands finding yours. In your anxious state, you were able to distract yourself from your worries at the mere touch of his calloused fingertips. It was a silent calling to you, gently beckoning you back into reality but not quite succeeding.

Ashton took your hand and pressed it against his chest, tucking it underneath his slightly unbuttoned shirt. His warm skin electrified your palm, making your heart race -not from the anxiety- but from butterflies. “Pay attention to my breathing and try to copy it, okay?”

At first, you struggled to listen to his instructions. You worked on your anxiety with your therapists over more sessions than you could count. You tried box breathing, yoga, and even journaling but nothing ever calmed your nerves, especially after the media went after you.

But suddenly, you concentrated on the slow rise and fall of Ashton’s chest. The way his chest hair tickled your palms in a way that made you want to scrunch your nose at the feeling. How his heart was beating nearly out of his chest but you could tell he was trying to minimize it so he could attend to your needs first.

You felt your Ashton.

Moments that felt like hours passed until your breathing went back to normal and your tear stained cheeks dried. Ashton kept your hand against his chest, occasionally squeezing it to bring you back to reality when you teetered back into spiraling. This time, though, he rose from the ground and sat beside you. You let him move your legs over his lap as he practically held you against him. His smell was overwhelming. You could smell his cologne and shampoo, even the faint scent of weed from off his lips. He was intoxicating. He was the drug, dangling above your head, and you were weak, enthralled, captivated, addicted.

You found yourself leaning in to kiss Ashton, a real kiss this time. No corner of the lip bullshit that the press ate up every time. You didn’t expect him to kiss you back with the same fervor as you, hand wrapping around your waist and the other behind your head. It was sloppy, wet, and all shapes of perfect that you couldn’t describe. The taste of tea and weed transferred from his lips to yours as he pulled you in deeper. You gripped his shirt in your fist, hoping in your mind to mold your body against his and disappear from the world, anything as long as you were with him. His love was your poison and, at the same time, your cure.

Reality began to sink in, making you push Ashton away forcefully and standing on your feet. He flew back into the couch, eyes wide and lips swollen. His perfectly slicked back hair was a gorgeous mess, curls gracefully falling down his face. Confusion riddled his face as he watched you curl back into yourself.

“What are you–”

“I shouldn’t have done that,” you whispered, unsure if you were saying that to him or yourself. “Why did I do that?”

Ashton stood up and reached for your hand, only for you to jerk back. “D-don’t touch me!” you exclaimed, scared of your own volume. Anxiety began to knock at your door once again, creeping in like a deadly virus into your system. “How could I be so stupid? Haven’t you put me through enough?”

You started to pace around your room, Ashton watching you move frantically back and forth until he got dizzy. You murmured to yourself not so quietly, scolding yourself for your stupidity and cursing him out for his enticing nature. All over again, Ashton was seeing you crumble.

“y/n, stop,” he ordered firmly, gripping your shoulders. You jerked to a stop, pausing to look Ashton in the eyes. You found yourself getting lost in the pool of hazel, wide eyed and entranced. “You’re going on stage in twenty minutes. Whatever’s going through your head right now, quit it. All of that can be put on pause until after the show, you hear me? And if that voice in your head brings it up while you’re out there, shut it down. What matters now is you, your music, and your fans. Fuck that voice telling you you’re anything short of great.”

In his empowering speech, you forced yourself to listen to his words, ignoring the person those words were coming from. Taking his advice, you cleared your mind of the past few months and only focused on this moment: your first concert of your North American tour.

Rushing to get ready, you scrambled around your room to prepare your hair and makeup. Ashton picked out your clothes for the concert, something simple that you absolutely adored but you paid little attention to the way your heart pounded at the thought. And in those twenty minutes, you were set for the show.

Your microphone in one hand and guitar in the other, you made your way straight to the stage. Ashton followed close behind you to ensure you didn’t misstep or forget anything. Mere inches away from the stage, you whipped your head around to meet his gaze just one more time.

“Thank you,” you whispered gratefully. “I know we haven’t talked, but thank you. Can I look for you after the show?”

Your heart shattered at the shake of his head. “I’ve got a plane to catch right after your show so I can’t come by after,” he told you remorsefully. “But if you’ll have me, I’ll be right here when you come back from tour. Maybe then we can start again, correctly this time. None of the cameras, scripts, or any of that, yeah?”

The sound of your name being chanted by the crowd was nearly deafening, but his words reached your ears and you smiled softly at him. In the corner of your eye, your stage manager pointed at her watch to inform you it was time to go up. Wordlessly, you pressed your lips one last time against his.

“Don’t be a stranger, Irwin,” you told him, turning on your heel and pushing through the curtains. The crowd shrieked and screamed at the sight of you, instantly bringing a proud grin to Ashton’s face.

This was only the beginning of something new and truly beautiful, Ashton thought to himself, hands in his pockets as he made his way to the VIP section.

–

Several months have passed since your North American and European tour and it has been almost a full year since you started your publicity stunt with Ashton. Throughout the tour, you and Ashton -and the boys, of course- kept close contact with each other, never going more than a day without a phone call or video chat. Over this period, you felt like you finally got to know the real Ashton, not bits and pieces he’d accidentally let slip when he first got to know you. This time, he was real and genuine, and that only made me love him more.

You tiredly dragged your suitcase up your apartment complex’s stairs, heaving at the ridiculous weight as you made your way down to your apartment. You didn’t expect to see a certain hazel eyed drummer standing behind the door when you unlocked it.

“Surprise,” he said sheepishly, balloons and blueberry cheesecake in hand. Tears instantly filled your eyes, you dropped your suitcase and wrapped your arms around his neck, nearly causing him to drop the dessert.

Truth be told, you weren’t expecting to see him so soon, if at all. Your journey with your mental health has been a long one, and there were plenty of ups and downs. A part of you -one you were a little ashamed of- didn’t expect him to keep to his word that he’d be here now. Despite the plenty of calls and talks you had to rekindle your relationship, that nagging voice in the back of your head kept on asking “what if?” What if he took back what he said about wanting to start over? What if it was all in your head, and he never wanted to see you again? But without fail, Ashton was there, willing to rebuild your relationship into a close-knit friendship. And now he’s here, asking to make it something more.

“You’re here,” you murmured into his chest, taking in his smell that you missed so dearly. “I didn’t think you’d come this soon. How did you even get in?”

Ashton pulled away, holding up your spare key. “Your friend gave it to me today,” he explained.

Grinning you brought him back down into a hug before settling in and opening the box of cheesecake. Taking out two forks, the two of you ate straight from the box and caught up on everything, though there wasn’t much considering how often you both talked while you were away.

“I’m really grateful you let me back in,” Ashton spoke up once the box had emptied.

You were half listening, polishing off the plate of its sweet crumbs. “You let yourself in, silly,” you snorted, not quite understanding what he meant. “You’re the one who got a hold of my apartment key.”

Ashton chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. “Not that,” he laughed. “I mean letting me back into your life. I still don’t think I deserve it.”

“We talked about this, Ash,” you leaned back, setting your fork down. “We both said things we didn’t mean that day. We recognized it and we worked from it. We’ve moved on, and we’re friends. I think you deserve it as much as I do.”

Ashton’s cheeks were tinged red as he tried to think of the right words to say. “I know,” he started. “But sometimes, I wish we had..more.”

“More?” you raised an eyebrow. It took another second of you watching the drummer blush in embarrassment and vulnerability before it finally clicked. “Oh.”

Ashton stood up abruptly, wiping the invisible specks of dust off his jeans. “You can forget it,” he rushed in humiliation. “I-I just couldn’t stop thinking about that night of your first concert, how it felt, how you felt- and-”

“Ashton, slow down,” you giggled, standing up, taking his hand and tugging him toward you. A small smile rested on your face. “I still think about that night, too,” you confessed honestly. “And I want that, too. Whatever it is that you want.”

The drummer looked up from your intertwined hands and into your eyes. He swore he saw stars in them. “Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked. “Again?”

You pulled him down into a kiss, your lips craving his all over again. “Yes,” you answered confidently as soon as you backed away to catch your breath. “I will be your girlfriend. Again.”

The two of you shared a laugh, enjoying the silent but welcoming comfort of each other. Standing in the middle of your kitchen, lips coated in sugar and blueberries.

“What was your wish?” Ashton asked, pulling you closer to him as he broke the s. “Back at that restaurant when we first met?”

You hummed in thought, eagerly pressing your lips against his one more time to relish the moment. “My wish was that whatever we had back then,” you whispered, letting him in on your secret. “turns into something more.”

“Well your wish came true, didn’t it?” Ashton smiled, a warm feeling bursting in his chest.

You leaned your forehead against his, eyes fluttering closed. “Yes, Ash,” you said. “Yes it did.”

please like and reblog if u enjoyed! <3

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155 notes · View notes

gx-gameon · 3 months

Note

Some reasons why the DM cast would not like the friends Jaden made during school:

Syrus: In the dub, it's clear that he doesn't have the best relationship with his brother Zane so he projects the perfect brother figure onto Jaden. The minute Jaden doesn't fit the ideal, he abandons Jaden at the toss of a hat. From trading his bed/eating his breakfast shrimp to the Dark World, Syrus was never as loyal as Joey. Only reason he got the Ra Yellow promotion duel was because of his brother and it's hinted that he was given his Obelisk Blue rank as a 'thank you' for helping against the Light of Ruin since he was at the final battle (even though all he did was hold Aster). Didn't truly improve until Season 4 and his deck upgrade came from his brother. Literally rode coattails to where he is at the end of the series.

Chazz: He was a jerk at the start, but mostly due to his brothers putting pressure on him. When Jaden tried to bond with him, he was mostly rebuffed and while he could see Duel Spirits, he never reciprocated Jaden's attempts to bond over it. Despite everything he went through with Jaden, he didn't hesitate to rejoin Obelisk Blue in a heartbeat come Season 4.

Bastion: Season 2 did this man no favors. He lost on purpose to join the Society of Light to get recognition and respect, which he never got anyway. He did give Jaden the wake up call he needed to get out of his Dark World funk to at least beat Yubel/get Jesse back.

Alexis: RIP her development in GX because her archetype didn't do well in the real life sales, because having a Ritual Expert would have been great. When Jaden returned, she tried to act like nothing happened and tried to force Jaden into activities, which only made him angry because he wanted to be left alone. She only moved into the Slifer Red Dorm because Crowler was trying to make her into a pop star with her brother in Season 2 so she can't be blamed too much for leaving.

Atticus: After getting his memories back, all Atticus did was become comic relief and tried to hook his sister up with guys. Never did he duel with his own original deck against the villains (Red Eyes deck is hinted to be the deck he was given as a Shadow Rider, not his original). He's one of the few that can beat Zane since he was part of the Obelisk Elite but never showed it. It's his fault that the Sacred Beasts woke up because he stole the keys for his plan to get Alexis to hook up with Chazz. Literally tried to force his sister into stardom against her will because he's an overly dramatic theater kid.

Zane: Zane is a one trick pony with a pretty powerful beat stick. His entire deck revolves around getting out Cyber End Dragon via Power Bond. Anyone in the pros can shut that down quick and instead of trying to improve he just kept with his old deck and fell into the underground, rejecting any help due to pride. Literally almost rage quit his final duel with Jaden because Jaden was trying to duel around a brick opening hand and had to think instead of having fun on the fly.

Aster: Multiple posts already on this for this blog, was manipulated because of tunnel vision concerning avenging his dad and didn't care who he hurt as long as he got his revenge.

Hassleberry: This boy literally has a dinosaur bone in his leg which gives him dino powers, got his spirit sent to space to save the world, and still will talk smack about Jaden behind his back and call his Duel Spirits 'imaginary friends' despite having met Neos.

Axel: He saw that Jaden's monsters were forced to attack Brron and how it wasn't truly Jaden's fault that his friends were sent to the stars, but still turned his back on the boy and told him that he was on his own. Despite his tough guy act, he ran when the Supreme King challenged him the first time. Redeemed himself by beating the Supreme King in Sesaon 3 and in Season 4 by helping Jaden though!

Jesse: Jesse is a all around sweet guy, he really is! The fact that he considered making himself a martyr to save the school was fulfilling his dream probably doesn't sit right with some of the DM crew because of how Jaden blamed himself for not being strong enough to save his friend.

Exception to this cause would be Jim. He saw that something was going down at the academy and investigated. the minute he saw Jaden as the Supreme King? In the original Japanese he outright asks if Jaden was tricked into being a ruthless warlord. Only reason this man did not return in season 4 was because his Japanese voice actor retired. Chumley is in this camp too because he stayed a solid friend with Jaden after Season 1.

Okay I thought I was the Gx friend groups number 1 hater but I take my cap off and pass it to you. Way to eviscerate all of them.

Here’s the thing. The DM cast are big friendship people. They forgive people for things they probably shouldn’t as long as the offended party says it’s okay. But they are also loyal.

In Duelist kingdom Téa holds a bit of a grudge against Mai until they get to know each other. Joey and Tristian are very protective of their friends. Yugi is warm and welcoming to all but he won’t stand for anyone messing with his friends and loved ones. Atem is protective. He loves his friends dearly and will do anything to keep them from harms way. And Seto is a dragon, he hoards that which is precious to him and protects it viciously.

I don’t think they would tell Jaden they didn’t like his friends. Nor do I think these adults would hold grudges against children (Seto might but he’s Seto Kaiba he held a grudge to the afterlife) but they aren’t fans of all of Jaden’s friends

Syrus

Syrus for all the reasons you stated, they just don’t like him. Syrus tries to force Jaden into a preferred older brother role instead of his best friend and equal. If Jaden fails that glorified image even a little bit Syrus loses all faith in him and interest in their friendship besides whining until Jaden full fills the role again. He’s a fair weather friend. I don’t think he’s a bad character or person but he needs to grow up. But because he is sheltered by both Zane and Jaden (from hiding behind him and Jaden’s hero complex) he doesn’t have to. Hopefully he matures after school.

But from a parents perspective this is not the person you want your kid relying on. He’s the friend who expects you to always be there for him but won’t be there for you in a hard time. Yugi’s good at reading people and from the stories Jaden tells them (which put all of his friends in a much better light) he and the Sam cast are not impressed. Téa and Joey especially don’t like the kid. Mai to. She felt with a lot of fake people in her life time. But how do you say that to a kid like Jaden who is so excited to have friends? Yugi is hopeful that Syrus will mature one day. After all his mom had similar worries when he became friends with Joey. But as time goes forward he’s proven wrong and Joey is a little offended by the comparison.

Chazz

I haven’t seen season 4 so I can’t comment on it. I’m almost done with my rewatch of season 1 and Chazz grows a lot in that season. I can see the DM cast being wary of him in the beginning because Chazz does start off as a bit of a bully. But after the school duel and Chazz starts truly hanging out with the cast I think most of those fears are put to rest. With finding out about his family and he is fairly loyal to Jaden. It’s not Joey levels but he’s not suppose to be (he’s not the designated best friend though he does a better job then Syrus)

I think by the end of season 1 they like him. (They haven’t met any of these kids and only have Jaden and school reports to go off of) the kid did stand up for the whole school against his brothers using a completely different and “weak” deck. He’s impressed them, and he at least tried to help. He took down one shadow rider.

In season 2 they are probably worried about him with the cult running around but I don’t know how much Jaden has told them about said cult. Chazz is also a real winner in that season of I remember. He goes out and beats all the members of the cult and wins the Gx tournament while Jaden deals with the leader. That should be the job of the “best friend” but Syrus and Hasselberry were mostly cheerleaders. It sticks that most of it is off screen but at least he’s helping. The cult can’t gang up on Jaden if Chazz is mowing them down.

Season 3 is a mess for Chazz. He’s sideline like most of the cast and it doesn’t help that he is one of the nay sayers. I know it’s a spell and Jaden is being selfish and rushing ahead. But this is a rescue mission that you chose to go on. I need to rewatch this season because how did Chazz and the others get captured? How did they not fight back? I don’t remember them taking part in one duel in the dark world. Like they were just following, complaining, and dying. It sucks how much the writers sidelined the cast like I love the exchange students, it think they are better characters over all, but the way the og cast is handled is t the best.

In conclusion, I don’t think the DM cast disapproves of him, it’s just a complex relationship between him and Jaden. I have them becoming Chazz’s pseudo family by the end of the au. Him and Jaden started on a ruff foot but they got there eventually.

Bastion

It’s almost funnier to say they forgot Bastion existed. He’s so fun in season 1 even though he’s a simp I love the energy he brings. But he’s the e first of the cast to get hard sidelined. I have to watch season 2 again. I always felt bad for the kid. Arthur and Solomon would have loved this kid. I’m going to play with his story a lot because he just wants to be acknowledged and seen as an equal to his friends and is constantly dismissed. Like he willingly joined the cult. He’s going to get a DM parental figure. One that probably doesn’t want the nerd following them but will grow to love their newly acquired duckling. I need to rewatch season 2 and think through the DM cast.

Alexis

Is that why her development gets thrown in the garbage?? Her archetype didn’t sell well? No she’s the ritual expert. And you’re right that would have been super cool. She’s still not a good friend. She’s alright in season 1 and at least takes down one of the Shadow riders. In season two she has a mini arc as the ice queen and they do a nice job of if I remember correctly. But she’s also sidelined in season 3 and I’ve heard season 4 is not great for her. To focused on her crush on Jaden and his past and her idolized version that she can’t see the Jaden in front of her is in need of help.

I don’t think the DM cast hate her but I think she rubs them the wrong way in season 3 and 4.

Maybe I’ll extend post cannon because I can see Alexis with a mentor and learning how to navigate her own feelings becoming a real power house. Ritual decks are rare and I wish we saw them more. Atem has two ritual monsters he uses in Black Magician of Chaos and Black luster solider. I’m not saying Atem’s her mentor but she just needs a chance to grow and stand on her own. Post cannon is going to be forcing these characters to stand on their own two feet, letting them fail, and watching them build themselves back up again.

The og friend group relies on Haden way too much to solve their problems.

Atticus

Atticus is a disappointment. He’s so fun and a goofball which is very different from his shadowrider persona. And I’m okay with that. It’s not his personality that upsets me. (Joey and Tristan have a can can dance when they beat an enemy and sing “can can we kicked it in the can can” like they would love Atticus and I love that goofball energy)

No where Atticus is a disappointment is that he never wins a duel on screen. He’s built up as this amazing duelist. He wins against the tomb keepers duel spirits to get his half of the shadow medallion. He’s part of the obelisk elite like Zane (I always wondered why their uniforms are different and now I know) yet he never wins an on screen duel.

I’m okay with him being a jokester and having fun with his kid sister and her friends, he’s behind his class by two years so he’s got to make new friends and Alexis and her crew welcome him. But I wish we say more of that.

Serenity join the DM cast in Battle City works this really well. She’s new to the group but already has connections because she’s Joey’s sister. She doesn’t know the rules and learns over time. Shes not the strongest but she’s helpful (saving Joey from the anchor) she doesn’t take center stage but we care about her.

But the difference between making her a side character/cheerleader and Atticus is Atticus is hyped up to be a good duelist. If they just showed him winning a duel or even talked about how he was win off screen I wouldn’t be as mad but the boys is a joke. He’s older than the rest of the cast and while he can be a goofy older brother he should also be a mentor or at least protective of the group. What was he even doing during the Gx tournament/Alexis’s cult time. I honestly forget. His kid sister spent a season looking for him and fighting to save him and the writers could let him return the favor. No Jaden has to save her.

(Like let him attempt. Maybe he can’t win in his own and Jaden has to take over or switch it and have Jaden start the duel but he’s not getting through and then Atticus steps in. It would be like Arem taking over for Kaiba bs Noah, where he takes Kaiba’s life points and deck and still pulls out a win. Do you know how good that would have made Atticus look if he took over Jaden’s duel using his deck and was able to beat Alexis. He’s a great duelist and to win using someone else deck is always seen as an impressive feat.)

I’m going to play with him to. I think most of the DM cast would love him. The Gx writers really just dropped the ball on their side characters.

Zane

Way to kick Zane when he’s down. Honestly sounds like something Kaiba would yell at him.

To be fair, if Zane is a one trick pony it’s also a fault with the school. They held him up as the best of the best and never forced him to change or adapt. The pro league is far more aggressive and he should have been prepared for that. If none of the students could beat him that’s one thing but a teacher should have pointed this flaw out. Maybe they did and he was to prideful or thought they were wrong because no one had ever stopped him before.

In know the Cyber end deck is a good deck. It still sees play today and has a lot of legacy support. So I don’t think it’s that his deck is bad. I think he just needs to change up his strategy.

But in topic. Ever already discussed the DM cast feelings towards him. He’s talented and good to Jaden in season 1 but they can’t help him in season 2. One they have their own things going on and two they can’t reveal their connection to Jaden. In all honesty they probably don’t know about Zane’s underground dueling until Jaden does. By then it’s too late to get the kid out.

Aster

I’ve already talked a lot about asteroids and his relationship with the DM cast and how they feel about his actions so we will move forward.

Hasselberry

I haven’t rewatched season 2 but I remember preferring Hasselberry to Syrus

They thing that drives me nuts though is that they both act like Jaden is crazy talking to spirits. Syrus has had multiple encounters with duel spirits since season 1 and Hasselberry has turned into a cartoon dinosaur and fought beside Neos. The man has no room to talk. We are all suppose to believe in your Dino DNA but you think Jaden talking to spirits is crazy.

Hasselberry is far more helpful than Syrus but it’s the Jaden is crazy talk that drives me nuts. Like he draws the same short straw as everyone else in season 3 and I want to do a deep dive on who got what negative emotion because some fit the character way more then others but we will talk about that later.

Over all I think the DM cast would like Hasselberry. If he’s away from Syrus. They get really toxic together trying to prove who is Jaden’s “true best friend” and he follows Syrus’s lead of putting Jaden on a pedestal and then getting upset with him when he falls off. (I wonder what their friendship could have been without Syrus?)

Axel

Okay I have to defend my boy here. Yes he sucks for abandoning Jaden. He’s also the “most experienced” when it comes to missions like this. I need to rewatch season three to figure out exactly where everything g went wrong. Yes Jaden is selfish and moving to fast but it’s also understandable where he is coming from. And everyone else invited themselves on the mission.

I saw someone say season three is meant to show Jaden what will happen if he keeps bringing his friends into dangerous situations and loses. Um I’m sorry. Jaden didn’t ask them to come. He does in season 1 ask for Syrus and others to come and support him but he doesn’t in season 3 he knows this is dangerous, stupid, and reckless, he knows he’s going to do whatever it takes and he tells them that up front. And then they get mad at him for doing exactly what he said he was going to do. And I can see the Duel Academy kids getting upset because they’ve spent 2 years with Jaden holding their hands but Jim and Axel? They did so well in the other dimension and Axel knows what this kind of mission intels, move fast. They have a short window of time to not only save Jesse but to move without Yubel knowing they are there. They have to keep moving.

Now in his defense. If my friend (and let’s be honest Jaden, Jim and Jesse are probably his first real friends) just accidentally murdered/was forced to murder our other friends I’d be upset to. And you have to blame someone even if that blame doesn’t go to the right person. Syrus was running (both his mouth and his legs) and he’s the weaker of the two. Jaden, in theory, can take care of himself. Should Axel and Jim slip the responsibility and in go after Syrus and one stay with Jaden yes. But they are teens and no one expected Jaden to spiral like that.

So here Axel is, his whole life has been a war zone. He finally has friends and they are dropping like flies but he’s still going strong. Until the supreme king is revealed to be Jaden. Jaden the silly sweet kid who welcomed him even after the way he acted. Who has always dueled with honor. Who he abandoned and lead to this monstrosity before him. And he just killed Jim. Him who only wanted to help him and is all around a great guy.

I don’t blame him for having a panic attack. He reached his limit and freaked out. He also over came that and still came back to help Jaden. Risking his life to do so.

After season 3 and 4 the DM cast love him. I don’t think he would ever run from a fight again. I think he’s started down the worst that could happened and over came it. He shows his loyalty (from what I understand) in season 4 and I believe is one of the few life long friends Jaden made at school.

Jesse

My boy. I think the DM cast is more worried about him than anything. He does have a self sacrificing tendency. But then so does Jaden. I think that’s the thing that worries them the most about the two of them traveling together post cannon. They know Jaden won’t let Jesse get hurt. But what will Jesse do if Jaden gets hurt protecting him? And the opposition is true to Jesse won’t let Jaden get hurt and we’ve already seen the lengths Jaden will go to if Jesse gets hurt protecting him.

Over all the DM cast likes him (with Seto Kaiba being huffy about it, only because he’s scared he’s losing Jaden to his future boyfriend/husband. He’s got big over protective dad fears going on)

Jim and Chumley

No notes. They are great friends and very helpful in their seasons.

I already decided Chumley finds out in between season 1 and 2. He’s just a good guy and I wish we say more of him.

I wouldn’t put it past him to figure out Jaden’s identity on his own. But still need to rewatch their season and see how things play out.

As of right now.

The DM cast likes

Chumley (finds out post season 1)

Chazz (the drama with his family solidifies his placement in season one but he doesn’t find out until post season 4)

Jesse (finds out during season 3)

Jim (finds out post season 4/ maybe mid way season 3)

Axel (same as Jim)

Aster (ruff starts but he and Jaden end up close and he finds out post season 2)

DM cast are on the fence about

Alexis

Atticus

Zane

Hasselberry

Bastion (I forgot him when I was first making this list and that is actually hilarious)

They got some ground to recover. The DM cast don’t openly dislike them. But they don’t know if they trust them with the Jaden.

This person is on thin ice with the DM cast

Syrus (is anyone suprised)

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imnotavamp1r3 · 8 months

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♡ A guide to emo, goth, and scene! ♡

So since I see a lot of confusion over certain subcultures are and the differences between them, I thought I would make somewhat of a master post basically outlining the characteristics and differences of three aesthetics that I see misinterpreted a lot. If I do at any point get something wrong, feel free to correct me because I really don't intend to spread misinformation.

🎀 Emo

Emo is a music based subculture that first emerged in the 80s out of the hardcore scene. The name emo came from the music genre emocore, which was short for emotional hardcore. The fashion is typically pretty casual, with some staples being straightened and teased hair with a sideways fringe, black clothing, band shirts, arm warmers, sneakers, skinny jeans, fishnets, arm warmers, wide leg pants, studded belts, and merchandise from various properties like Emily The Strange, Nightmare Before Christmas, and Ruby Gloom.

Since the early days of emo, the music in the subculture has expanded outside of hardcore and post-hardcore, and has since gone on to include alternative rock, horror punk, metalcore, pop punk, and screamo. Some of the most prominent artists in the scene are Avril Lavigne, Blink 182, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, Pierce The Veil, and Sleeping With Sirens.

Since the subculture is mainly music based, fashion is not as important to being considered part of the scene. Therefore, not dressing in a specific way while listening to the music wouldn't make you a poser, but dressing emo while not listening to the music would. What is not considered emo is listening to a random genre of rock music. Bands like Metallica and Nirvana, while enjoyed by many emos, are not emo bands and therefore don't make someone emo. Furthermore, I can't believe I need to say this, but, contrary to what many people seem to think, kawaii people are also not emo. While it is common for kawaii people to listen to metal and other heavy music genres, their style is not at all similar to emo and they don't consider themselves as part of the subculture either.

🎀 Goth

Goth is probably the oldest subculture here, with it dating back to the 70s English punk scene, with bands like Siouxsie and the Banshees and The Cure pioneering the culture. The post-punk band Bauhaus' debut single 'Bela Lugosi's Dead,' a song inspired by the famous horror actor Bela Lugosi, who portrayed Dracula in the 1931 film adaptation and also starred in White Zombie which is a film that's typically referred to as the first zombie movie, is often considered the first gothic rock song.

Goth is a subculture with many different sub-subcultures. Some of the most popular are batcave, bubble goth, cyber goth (formerly referred to as gravers), death rock, mall goth (formerly known as spooky kids), nu goth, romantic goth, steampunk, vampire goth, and, my personal favourite, gothic lolita. Contrary to what many people think, I don't consider aesthetics like pastel goth (which I do love) to really be a part of goth since it doesn't have roots in goth. Obviously I'm not going to go over every substyle because that would take way too long and would have to require its own post, but some common staples in most of these styles is lots of black, horror-inspired imagery, very big teased hair, black or red lipstick (red was the most common in the earlier days), and very pale almost white skin. Therefore, e-girls and emos (e-girls especially) are not goth. Also, the fetishisation of the 'big tiddy goth girlfriend' is very demeaning and offensive to goths, as well as just not funny at all because of how it objectifies and reduces them to simply walking breasts who wear black.

Goth music is, in my opinion, some of the most accesible and palatable alternative music. The most popular genres are dark wave, electronic rock, gothic rock, industrial metal and rock, new wave, and post-punk. Some of the most popular bands are Bauhaus, Evanescence, Joy Division, Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Birthday Massacre, and The Cure.

🎀 Scene

Scene is an aesthetic that originated in the 2000s on the website MySpace as a derivative aesthetic to emo. Many scene kids were considered emo posers because of their unconventional style and the music they listened to, which included genres ranging from crunkcore to metalcore, often being considered 'trashy' by other subcultures. Despite all of the hate towards scene kids, many embraced their label and many of the most popular people in the subculture started being known as scene queens who are also often credited as the first influencers. This included people such as Ambrehhhisdead, LedaMonsterBunny, and Melissa Marie Green.

Some staples to the style are colourful clothes, straightened and teased hair with colourful raccoon hair extensions, the scene swoop fringe, brass knuckles or diamond necklaces, bows, leopard print, zebra print, colourful shorts, tutus, tight clothes, sunglasses, knee high converse, band shirts, and merchandise of characters like Gir from Invader Zim, Gloomy Bear, and Hello Kitty. Personally, I would consider the modern rendition of scene, scenecore, to be a different aesthetic that, while it is pretty similar to scene, typically borrows from aesthetics like glitchcore rather than emo or mcbling.

Scene music is pretty diverse in what it provides, as it ranges from very heavy genres such as deathcore and metalcore to more pop and rap adjacent genres like crunkcore and neon pop. Some of the most prominent artists are 3OH!3, All Time Low, Asking Alexandria, Blood on the Dance Floor (unfortunately), Bring Me The Horizon, Brokencyde, Cobra Starship, Dot Dot Curve, Jeffree Star, Ke$ha, Metro Station, and Millionaires. A lot of the music is known to ignore many of the typically conventions of music, with the lyrics often containing themes relating to partying and sex.

That's it, byeeeee! ˚｡⋆୨୧˚♡

#emo #scene #girlblogging #scenemo #rawring 20s #scene queen #rawr xd #pink scene #scemo #goth #mall goth #emo kid #2000s emo #scene kid #gothic #goth aesthetic

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tearwolfe · 8 days

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To be the weird and quirky one for not mentioning the cyber idol stuff here, uh… what’s your opinion on hanahaki and star tears tropes? Random question, sure, but it popped into my head

IT MAKES ME SAD ....... i used to be sort of into hanahaki when i was in middle school (usual teenage angst and whatever) but unrequited love stories make me sad ... :(

#ask

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nayeonline · 4 months

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Ari's K-Pop Roundup: May 2024 (aespa, NewJeans, IVE, tripleS, YVES, ARTMS + MORE)

sorry this one was a little late - it was partly due to my personal life being a bit hectic at the moment, and partly due to the amount of stuff I wanted to say about this month's releases. check out last month's installment here, and happy pride month :)))

Supernova + Armageddon - aespa

Instant classic. 'Drama' in all its electric cyber-crush glory is a tough act to follow, but 'Supernova' holds it's ground from the first second and starts being fucking iconic in the next five.

Dem Jointz is all over this track, I love how he gets to go a little wild with the complexity of his production when working with groups like aespa and NCT. The beat bounces and booms, taking the listener on an intergalactic roller coaster ride of dance-pop rhythm, with the aespa girls as our celestial guides. 'Supernova' is a masterclass in vocal mixing and ad libs, Ningning's vocals sound especially addictive on this track, low and oozing confidence. It's an instant hit, and one of aespa's best.

While 'Supernova' feels very much in aespa's usual territory, 'Armageddon' takes a few more risks - it's slightly less dancepop, a little more edgy; less first-listen club banger and more third listen unexpected groove. Don't get me wrong, it definitely maintains the hallmarks of an aespa title track: full of unplaceable futuristic synths, tin-can trap beats, and a deep sliding baseline, but something about that half time chorus and the switch up to focus on the members lower registers more feels so confident. 'Armageddon' depicts an aespa utterly assured in their abilities as idols, musicians, entertainers, and performers, and regardless of it you liked the song or not, I think it is clear to anyone from this title track that aespa have far from reached their peak, and they still have much more to do in this industry.

Frustratingly, the album did not live up to the quality of the titles that represent it. There are a few stand out hits, like 'Bahama', which pulls off y3k h2o just add water mermaidcore effortlessly, as well as 'Set The Tone' a classic aespa style track evocative of the 'Drama' and 'Savage' EPs in sound, and 'Licorice' which apparently is controversial to enjoy, but I can't help but love its bounce and rhythm; but much of the rest of the tracklist fell short. I couldn't help but notice a lack of coherence both in the sound and concept of this era. The album feels like a hodgepodge of tracks rather than a deliberate project - there aren't any through lines between tracks other than aespa's flagship futuristic production style (which isn't actually present on every track but whatever), and each song seems to be appealing to different scenarios of streaming music - BAHAMA is for a summer beach date, but Supernova is for the club, but then Live My Life is for a disney channel original movie starring Demi Lovato?? The overall vibe seems to be disjointed.

This is a problem I have with a lot of aespa's releases since the 'Savage' EP - on the EP or mini album or album or whatever around 65-90% of the tracks are certified bangers, life changing hits, and then there are a few dull fillers to pad the runtime. I know there is a pressure for groups to release something twice a year or so, but I think aespa is at a point in their career where they can certainly afford to release an album once a year if it's for the sake of quality music.

Great titles, poor b-sides - aespa deserves more than a top-heavy album, SM take more than six months next time you want to make an album for them I beg.

How Sweet - NewJeans

It's been a rough couple of months over at HYBE, and considering how sick we are of it as fans and listeners, I can't even imagine how exhausted the members are of the whole ordeal. Being at the centre of one of k-pop's biggest company dramas in history in the middle of your comeback season isn't for the weak, but NewJeans make it look easy. They are back, stronger than ever, with yet another instant classic.

'How Sweet' is the complementary reversal of 'Bubblegum', capitalizing on the members gorgeous lower registers and pairing them with a 90s hip-hop vibe, featuring their signature NewJeans production flairs as always. I've seen a little bit of criticism that this song feels too much like 'ETA', (which I think is a bizarre comparison, it much more sounds like a lovechild of 'OMG' and 'Ditto') but I don't think that groups releasing music in their established sound is a bad thing at all. NewJeans aren't rookies anymore, they have more than proved themselves to be a force to be reckoned with both on the charts and on the stage, and with the korean general public and bunnies themselves consistently loving the NewJeans sonic identity it makes no sense for them to abandon it entirely. They've grown a lot since 'Attention' and 'Hype Boy', and their performance of this song shows that clearly.

The girls' vocals on this song are to die for, every line they deliver exudes confidence and assurance in their capabilities. Danielle and Hanni's little chant of 'Toxic loverrrrr you're no betterrrrr, 거기 숨지 말고 얼른 나와, you little demon in my storyline, don't knock on my door, I'll see you out' is adorable and SO catchy, Danielle's delivery in that outro with her Aussie accent being a highlight of the song as a whole.

Yet another banger from (in my opinion) the most exciting kpop group out right now - it is becoming clearer and clearer to me that the day NewJeans release a bad song is the day pigs fly.

Girls Never Die - tripleS (<ASSEMBLE24>)

The final lineup for tripleS is here, and with it, one of the groups best songs to date. Juggling 24 members in one song is feat few have successfully managed, but tripleS expertly uses the plethora of voices they have at their disposal to deliver a title track as hypnotic as it is anthemic.

'Girls Never Die' has all the hallmarks of a tripleS song we've grown to adore, from y3k style production to the classic 'lalala' hook in the chorus - sonically it both calls back to the groups humble beginnings with Acid Angel From Asia's 'Generation', and looks to the future of the group with its united 24 members. The verses tend to lose me a little, but although they are dull, they are thankfully short, and the chorus is a stunner. The finale of the track is a triumph, the final refrain of 'girls never die 절대 never cry' closing the song giving the effect of a battle cry - to me 'Girls Never Die' says tripleS are here to shake things up in the industry, and release fun music while doing it.

I've enjoyed many a tripleS project before this, with the +(KR)ystal Eyes EP and the 2023 ASSEMBLE album being real highlights. '<ASSEMBLE24>' is immediately one of ( if not their best) albums, b-sides such as 'Beyond the Beyond', 'White Soul Sneakers', and ESPECIALLY 'Chiyu' bringing the heat fully.

tripleS are one to watch, and while I have genuinely no clue what 'decentralized kpop idol group' means or what the fuck an objekt is, trust when I say I will be watching.

Accendio - IVE (IVE SWITCH)

After the exciting return of an IVE that is worthy of their hitmaker epithet with 'HEYA', I was intrigued to see what 'Accendio' would bring to the table other than a matching cherry-red wig moment for the members (which was iconic btw.)

'Accendio' borrows some ideas from garage, but generally just feels very kpop - it's functionally the epicentre of the sounds of the industry right now; a little bit tripleS, a little bit (G)-IDLE, but 100% IVE. It has an ethereal quality, but in the sense of a fallen angel, with the lyrics bringing a sense of Catholic guilt (not sure why this is becoming a trend right now but sure!). The chorus is half high-fashion girlpop with their chant of 'watch me, don't touch me; love me, don't hurt me', and half rhythmic acid trip with the onomatopoeia and the refrain of '주문 걸어, accendio'; it's a highly successful marriage of opposites. To me it recalls the sound of their Japanese single 'WAVE' which I personally loved, and while 'HEYA' is technically a more advanced kpop song production-wise, 'Accendio' just has a pace and rhythm to it that 'HEYA' lacks, making it feel more exciting and engaging.

It's actually kind of crazy how good the rest of the album is, like IVE's b-sides have never been criminally bad, but this is wild. Potentially a niche reference for you 4th gen stans, but 'Blue Heart' and 'Ice Queen' are to 'Accendio' what 'Clue' and 'Note' are to SHINee's 'Sherlock'. 'Blue Heart' expands on that vogueish, runway style sound from the first part of the 'Accendio' chorus, and 'Ice Queen' explores that gossamer flowy sound from the refrain. I doubt this was intentional, but I love any sense of sonic consistency in kpop albums (@rinas4ki this kind of what we were talking about) and all three tracks are very successful.

'WOW' is a little bit of a wildcard, an acoustic style girly type of track that sounds like the kind of thing SM used to force aespa to sing, but it works very well for IVE. That post chorus of 'wowowow' is very cute. 'RESET' also has a little bit of a garage sound, and reminds me a lot of Yves debut (which will be discussed below), and while it is pretty catchy, it isn't especially memorable, especially in the context of IVE's discography and the quality of the other tracks on this mini album, but it is still worth a listen for sure.

Overall I am very impressed with IVE this time around, 'HEYA' is very enjoyable, 'Accendio' is even more enjoyable, and the b-sides don't put a spanner in the works at all, in fact they in many ways boost the overall quality of the comeback, a feat frustratingly rare in the kpop scene. If you missed the 'IVE SWITCH' album this month, I would definitely recommend giving it a listen.

LOOP - YVES (LOOP)

It feels good knowing all 12 members of LOONA have redebuted after leaving BBC, and what a way to end it. Yves has always been one of my biases in LOONA, and this solo debut proves exactly why she's so special.

'LOOP' is a uk garage style kpop classic, and while Lil Cherry's rap occasionally wanders into questionable territory, Yves' vocals melded with the gorgeous Pink Pantheress style production (no she didn't actually produce it, but a girl can dream, right?) make the track the hit it is. I've seen the use of 8-bit sounding vocal processing being criticised online, but I personally love the computerized sound it brings - with Yves lilting 'ooh's and refrain of 'yeah I'm lost but I like it' 'LOOP' creates an atmosphere of a virtual euphoria.

'LOOP' is great and all, but for me the real star of the album is the beautiful, the stunning, the AWE INSPIRING, 'DIORAMA'. It's so effortless in it's production and that chorus is so subtle yet addictive, it's seriously good. 'DIORAMA' has been on repeat since it's release, I can definitely see this one finding a spot high on my top kpop tracks of 2024 list.

The mini album as a whole is amazing, Yves is such an exciting soloist, she clearly has a lot she wants to achieve, and 'LOOP' is evidence of that.

Virtual Angel - ARTMS (Dall)

WARNING - PLEASE READ: If you wish to support ARTMS after reading this review, please be warned that the music video for 'Virtual Angel' contains repeated flashing scenes, and has been reported to trigger seizures, epilepsy and headaches in a small minority of viewers - even the 'Human Eye Ver.' has some flashing elements. Please stay safe!

I think i speak for all orbits when I say we had big expectations for 'Dall'. Both of the Loossemble albums so far have been excellent, Chuu and Yves have been bringing it in their solo projects, and everything we've heard out of Modhaus concerning Loona has been incredible - for ARTMS to stumble with this album would be immensely frustrating. Fortunately, they did not stumble at all, they smashed through the finish line of the Loona redebuts, and elevated the groups post-BBC discography to another level of excellence.

'Dall' is an album that is difficult to put into words. It has the essence of Loona beyond just having Heejin, Kim Lip, Jinsoul, Choerry and Haseul involved, it is genuinely quite moving how it echoes that 'Hi High' sound from so long ago. I say this as a joke a lot, but 'Dall' is genuinely an album that feels like an ascension to another plane of existence - it is euphoric and ethereal, especially in the context of the fight the members and orbits have put up since 2022.

I consider 'Girl Front' the gold standard for Loona songs, and 'Virtual Angel' genuinely comes close to snatching that crown. The whole album is so fucking good, and while I would usually go through the charade of describing every track and its genre influences and whether the hook is catchy or not, I refuse for this album - I will not steal the experience from you of hearing this album for the first time.

So yeah, this is probably a mildly shit review, but PLEASE go stream this album, if there was any post BBC Loona album you were going to listen to, let it be this one (but also the Odd Eye Circle album lmao). 'Virtual Angel' is a triumph, 'Dall' is a triumph, 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy', 'Sparkle' and 'Unf/Air' ESPECIALLY are triumphs.

In conclusion... stan loona.

MINI REVIEWS:

Taxi Blurr - Jay Park (feat. Natty of KISS OF LIFE): i may not like Jay Park, but Natty is and always will be my girl, so here we are. I really love the 90s r&b style of this track, and Natty especially sounds amazing on it - her vocal colour is so beautiful. The two's voices blend really well in my opinion, the harmonies in the bridge are satisfying as hell.

Mona Lisa - Soojin (formerly (G)-IDLE)): questionable album titles aside, Soojin is back with her second comeback post leaving (G)-IDLE. This song is frustrating because it's not really offensively bad in any sense, but it is also not really especially good in any sense either. The budget for the MV is kind of crazy, but I wish they had put some of that into the making of the actual song.

No Biggie + Algorhythm - ITZY: (requested by @a-moth-to-the-light) If you've been on my blog before, you will know that JYP's direction of ITZY's korean releases has been irking me for a while, but somehow when ITZY gets on that plane and lands in Japan I am always obsessed. I'm into pretty much all of their Japanese releases, like Ringo went triple platinum in my mental chart. 'No Biggie' is really cool actually, super catchy and Yuna sounds amazing on it - it feels very laid back and relevant to the 2024 music space, something that ITZY's korean singles seem to struggle with. 'Algorhythm' is also SO GOOD, in production, style, and vocal performance. The music video and song also have major old red velvet vibes, which I love. ITZY - please stay in Japan a little longer, the discography over there is so solid. I miss Lia so much though, I hope she's doing well.

LOST! - RM (BTS): I really appreciate namjoon's artistry, and I actually enjoyed his 2022 album 'Indigo', quite a bit, but this song just doesn't work for me. I have heard from others that the album is something special tho, so if i have a spare half hour I might give it a listen.

나의 이름은 (ROTY) - YOUNG POSSE: I would like to redact my previous statements on young posse, I get it now, and this song is so fun. Very 2000s, very y2k, beautiful production, great raps from everyone, what more could you want.

Supernatural - A.C.E: Saw a GIF from the music video on my dash and decided to check it out, and I was severely impressed. 'Supernatural' is not an ear-splitting noisy headache of a track I have come to expect from kpop boy groups, it's a light hearted, classic Bruno Mars style pop hit. Good music and a well produced fun concept? I need to check out this group more.

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