#daddy corvus

[kingburu]

[fic] When the Heart Don’t (1/?)

Link: AO3

Pairing: Soren/Corvus

Fandom: The Dragon Prince

Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort/Soren’s Humor to Deflect Angst

Summary: If there’s anything Claudia and Dad taught Soren, love’s probably not in the cards for him.

Preview:

Love’s not easy for Soren to express. Not in the way people expect. Well—on one hand, it’s hard for him to express love in that way, so technically, people can’t expect it. Not really.

(Yeah, okay, that makes more sense, maybe.)

[fictional-malewife-tournament]

Group 4: round 22

[winter-of-woe]

While we're on the topic of being totally normal and shit posting.

Rat Daddy voice headcanon. LMAO

[catnotfound]

I was working on this drawing and this is the only thing I could think of all the while.

[stuck-in-jelly]

Details i think about constantly from the novelizations of The Dragon Prince:

King Harrow made that doggy door for Bait himself instead of letting the royal carpenter do it

Viren calls hugs ‘familial clasp’

Amaya makes Ezran and Callum a full breakfast at the Banther Lodge and is described as ‘A breakfast connoisseur’

Corvus wears a cloak in his initial appearance

When Viren first tries to sieze the crown he fully puts on coronation robes before Amaya stops the ceremony (side note i couldn’t stop laughing thinking about it in terms of having your wedding crashed)

When Gren hesitates translating Amaya saying ‘Bullshit’ she turns to him and signs ‘Say it.’

Its stated that Soren ‘adored Callum and Ezran.’ And he hoped that they were still alive (said when Viren told him to kill the princes)

When Ezran was drowning in the icy water trying to get Zym he dreamt of his mother hugging him

Soren pretended he thought Claudia’s nose tap was stupid whenever their dad was around cause Viren thought it was stupid. But when their dad wasn’t around Soren would tap his nose in response to her

Soren calls Claudia “a daddy’s girl” (way to drive in the foreshadowing)

King Harrow was going to listen to Sarai and not kill the titan but Viren told The Queens of Duren the cost Katolis would pay and they refused help if Harrow’s Kingdom was to suffer as well

Corvus waited for Claudia to leave for the bathroom cause he knew he wouldnt be able to fool her but could fool Soren. Only reason he didn’t make it was cause Claudia came back just in time to trap him again

Oh yeah Ezran not only can speak to animals and sense their emotions. He can FEEL their pain. He felt Pyrrah’s pain when she was shot.

Opeli during a council meeting with Harrow as king objected one of his ideas then became scared she would demoted or killed but Harrow assigned her head of the council that day

Ezran recognizes Corvus? (Possibly cause he was in Amaya’s Battalion)

When Soren makes his Dragon Smash Boy ‘Haiku’ and Claudia tells him he got the wrong number of syllables he yells “Well, Im rebelling against the tyranny of the Haiku!”

Claudia was in the puzzle house when Viren and Kpp’Ar got into their argument and accidentally overheard them

Amaya initially offered her hand to Janai when she was dangling off the cliff but Janai refused it.

[shiyorin]

What do you think it would be like if primarchs used social media?

Lion El'Jonson:

Private account, doesn't accept follower requests

Rarely posts, usually just sunset or forest photos

Uses emojis sarcastically in replies

Has 20 followers but thinks it's way too many

Fulgrim:

Aesthetic pictures pose artfully depict exotic hobbies and runway couture 

Filters all photos to perfection  

Constantly debates high art vs pop culture 

Thirst traps cause monthly massacres

"Like for a follow back 🔥" 

Perturabo:

Photos are exclusively poorly-lit fortress blueprints 

Bio is 25000 character treatise on siege tactics

Follows exactly 12 history scholars 

Hates everyone and everything on the site 

Actually ran some incisive political commentary bots before being banned

Jaghatai Khan: 

Only posts the sickest motocross and extreme sports clips

Videos have insane views but no captions 

Fans think he's a cryptid until rare livestreams 

Hijacks Fulgrim's comments to hype rad stunts

Leman Russ:

Changed his name to 'Wolf Daddy 🐺'

Shirtless hunting/drinking photos get 10K likes

Roasts everyone in comments but they love it  

Followers think he's a viking hipster meme page

Follows biker gangs, sled dog accts, scholars of old Terra 

Rogal Dorn:

Only posts are architectural blueprints and records of fortifications

Gets into epic debates about structural principles in comments  

No one knows if he actually loads new content or just archives old

Somehow gains tons of followers thirsting for DILF

Konrad Curze:

Pure darkness and screams in hazy JPEGs 

3 followers and they're all bots

Posts disturbing ‘prophecies’ and murder puzzles

Under investigation for doxxing

Sanguinius: 

Angelic selfies bring all the followers to his page    

Flowing locks and golden abs get 20K likes instantly   

Quotes poetry in every reply but no one understands 

Only follows animal shelter and children's hospital accounts

Ferrus Manus:

Only follows engineering/robotics pages

Posts heavily filtered machine shop mini-documentaries 

Photos of custom machines that make engineers weep

Comments are unintelligible techno-babble  

Somehow gains huge gym bro following thirsting for muscle

Angron:

Gets banned monthly for graphic content and abuse

Posts angry rants about society in broken caps

Got suspended after sending death threats to Guilliman

Only follower is Khârn who comments 'THIS' on everything  

Roboute Guilliman:

Shares updates on the latest Codexes 

Only follows serious history/philosophy lecture pages

Posts long analyses of governance strategies 

Constantly lectures others in comments

Has blocked half his followers for trolling

Mortarion:

Aesthetic is grimy gas mask selfies in back alleys

ONLY reposts plague doctor memes from 2003

Bio is endless copypasta about essential oils

Gains cult following of goths, metal heads and preppers

Magnus:

Endless livestreams talking about theoretical magic at 3AM with 2 viewers. 

Tries making TikToks explaining sorcery but the videos are an hour long each.

Overexplains memes and emojis in long-winded threads

Memes and facts threads blow up as the most esoteric

Horus Lupercal:

Selfies showing off abs get him 50K followers in a week

Posts stunning photos from across the Imperium with #blessed captions

Fan club is half the mankind 

DMs from people asking for selfies blow up his notifications  

Lorgar Aurelian:

Aesthetic is dark robes and candlelit monasteries

Constantly reposting zealot sermons out of context

Accidentally starts wars of faith whenever he livestreams

Got suspended for uploading hardcore Slaneeshi hymns

Still has 10 alt accounts all named Brother [REDACTED]

Vulkan:

Only follows puppy accounts and craft bloggers

Posts Happy Holiday baking tutorials and dad jokes

Likes and comments positivity on everyone's posts

Followers think he's the nicest DILF ever online

Secretly the biggest wholesome meme page

Corvus Corax:

Only darkness, shadow puppets and cryptic poems

No one knows if he's real or a myth on the deep web

Internet detectives can’t trace his true identity  

Only sends encrypted coordinates in mysterious DMs  

No one has any idea what he's trying to say  

1 follower is Alpharius who only replies 'No, I'm Alpharius'

Alpharius/Omegon:

Constantly pretending to be other online  

No one knows their true forms or agenda 

Takeovers of government sites spark conspiracies

Leaves clues implicating everyone else’s schemes

[relax-and-read-on]

I finished my session!!! To celebrate....

Primarch, and what they would have written in my literary creation class

(yes this is highly specific, no idc)

Lion: minimalist poetry done so that no one can say that he didn't do the assignment. There is 109 words spread on 8 pages. One of said page literally just say "I am Myself."

Mortarion: write a short story about a lil robot being basically condemn to die by an evil all powerful ai. Everyone miss the metaphor and start arguing about who the narrator is.

Roboute: Report a series of incidents of people seeing a black monolith ovni in the shape of Ohio, of all thing. Actually based of a real incident

Horus: Explain how many daddy issues he has. Pretty funny text, the 3 way in the middle of it was highly unnecessary.

Ferrus: the worst scifi short story of all time. Zero talent. One sentence goes on for 11 lines. Get called out for making a teluric planet the size of a gaseous one and walk out.

Fulgrim: poorly hidden self insert recounting his sexual exploit. Has the most graphic scene ever involving masturbation and a vacuum. Read it out loud to all.

Rogal: Describe a trip he took once. It's 8 pages long of beach descriptions. Seem to have a slightly weird obsession with crabs, and describe in great detail the battle between two.

Angron: write a scene where he basically explain how he day dream of a murder plot against an old colleague. Suspiciously well written, will avoid the police.

Sanguinius: a 3 part non-linear story about live, loss and death, beautifully written, that hint at a secret. Forgot to put the big reveal in the fucking final text.

Perturabo: write a story about childhood trauma and daddy issues. Violently infodump on everyone. Someone ask if the "I" instead of "he" in the middle of the text was voluntary. Refuse to answer. ,

Jaghatai: Write a long form prose poem that turn out to be the lyric to an instrumental only piece. Said piece is 6 minute long. He insist to play it in full for class.

Konrad: Write a self insert isekai fanfiction into Age of Sigmar. Surprisingly violent and sexual. Terribly written. Will probably become a succesful YA author.

Leman: Write an essay about his dog and how much he love him. It's actually quite touching. Even put cute pics of his dig at the end.

Alpharius Omegon: wrote a fake wikipedia page about a species of carnivorous lamppost walking around and eating people.

Corvus: Write a poem so completely confusing, there is a 20 minute debate on the subject. Ideas are: Death, sexual assault, prostitution, religious cults or drogues. The poem was actually about autumn and migratory birds.

Lorgar: write an in dept essay about the history of the first Rabbi in town. Somehow trackdown the surviving family member for an email interview. Completely bust the page count.

Vulkan: a very cute memory piece about being born in a large family and the hardship of it. Casually mention an unsolved murder. Everyone is disturbed.

Magnus: that 25 pages, 3 part essay/poem/experimental narrative text on the myth of the minotaur, feminism and the importance of myth. It was borderline unreadable.

[wxnheart]

𝐅*𝐜𝐤 𝐀𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐎𝐮𝐭, 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐲 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

note: *Horny Heresy inTENSIFIES*; take this seriously. or don't. your choice. just keep fucking around and finding out.

Lion El'Jonson - You always wondered what a visibly frustrated Lion would look like but you didn't have the self-awareness to fucking STOP until it was too late. And so here you are, hands bound in shackles, suspended bare before the First himself. For a while, he said and did nothing save for his eyes roving along the contours of your body. That was soon replaced with a curious hand and the moan you let out was heretical, indeed.

Fulgrim - It's a... miracle you can walk. And talk. And still breathe. Mmm... you weren't expecting that out of Fulgrim were you? You look like you've fought a battle and lost while nary a hair is out of place on his head.

Perturabo - Turns out he's not an ass with a martyr complex where it counts. He's still an ass, though... who ironically has a nice ass. Who knew that armor hid so much. Bastard. He may or may not like when you smack it.

Jaghatai Khan - Simply put, you found out on his bike. You were stumbling for a bit afterward.

Leman Russ - Well you didn't have to fuck around for long. In fact, Leman was practically waiting for the moment to pounce, and pounce he did. There's a reason why he's The Wolf King because Leman had you howling all throughout the night, dear.

Rogal Dorn - Perhaps the most surprising encounter of the Primarch. Dorn has some freak bitch tendencies, let me tell ya. All the signs were there what with his fondness for the Pain Glove.

Konrad Curze - *stares in judgemental Sevatar.*

Sanguinius - Watching him succumb to his lust was so beautiful. He had you right where he wanted you, enveloped tightly in his arms, embraced fully with his wings. The Brightest One's eyes are so clouded with a feral desire. He leaned down, pressed a tentative kiss on the pulse of your neck, and you were putty in his arms.

Ferrus Manus - Yeah, Ferrus is many things but when it comes to the matter of the flesh, um... yeah, you had to make the first move. He's got the spirit, though.

Angron - Whew. You fucked around and found out, alright. You riled Angron up so much, all you remember is him growling, muttering something in his native Nucerian tongue, and the next thing you know, your clothes were in tatters around you and he looked feral as he eyed your naked body. Oh.

Roboute Guilliman - Turns out he's a fan of office sex; you fucked around so much that Guilliman had your ass finding out on his desk. With his head buried between your legs. Please be quiet, my dear. There are people beyond those four walls. And yes, please run your fingers through his hair some more. Tug on it a little, too.

Mortarion - *stares in seventy times seven whilst surrounded by seven of the Death Guard.*

Magnus the Red - You thought Guilliman was the only one who liked it when you pulled his hair? Comes with a side of... pleasurable Warp shenanigans.

Horus Lupercal - The hoochiest of the hoochie daddies. The Primarch meets your bullshit with the most blissfully arrogant smile ever and proceeds to keep you up the entire night, reminding you why the Emperor named him Warmaster. Those tactics in the bedroom are devastating, babe. You're practically a zombie the next day.

Lorgar Aurelian - D'aww, look at Lorgar's inner dom coming out. All that resentment came out in one of the best hatefucks of your life. Kudos to you, darling.

Vulkan - You fuck around and find out and it turns into an all-night bear hug bonanza. But naked.

Corvus Corax - He puts his abilities to... good use. "Nevermore", quoth the Raven as he pulled you into the comfortable embrace of the darkness and made you his wonderful Lenore.

Alpharius Omegon - GOTTA FUCK 'EM ALL! ALPHA LEGION!

[blackberryshortcake]

Witches’ Wrath

I Can Get to Hell Much Faster Than You pt.2

Part 1

The man I’ve learned to call Sebastian lead me to what assumed was a guest room in this labyrinth that boy called home. Out of a small wardrobe in the corner of the room he produce a dress.

“Put this on. Can’t have you looking like that in front of the young master.”

“Like what?” I glance down at my clothes. Modern in design, black skin tight jeans that belled out at the bottom covering the top of my black boots the kind you’d assume were slippers but were suited for everyday wear, and a simple grey zip up hoodie.

Rather than answering my question he continued on.

“You sure have grown comfortable in your new world. Do all women wear clothing that leaves little to the imagination or has human society simply forgotten proper etiquette.”

I snatch the dress out of his gloved hands. It was simple cream in color something you’d probably see a corpse wearing or in a photo of a long dead relative.

“When did you get all high a mighty.”

The demon who stood before was almost unrecognizable. Bowing to the hand of a boy and playing servant so easily. Corvus has always been, well not necessarily kind but not as viscous or violent as many others of his kind to be. He was proper in nature but now he’s different, posh is the right word I think. What was so special about the boy that he was able to whip this demon into a right and high-class British asshole that stood before you.

The tension in the air was palpable.

“Do you require any assistance in dressing?” He asked almost looked amused.

“No I think i can handle it, thanks”

“Very well I will return in precisely 15 minutes the young master would like to have word with you in his study.” He pull a pocket watch from his waist coat, glanced at it and left.

The dress was uncomfortable and odd something you hadn’t worn the likes of in years and you had hope to keep it that way. After a bit of a struggle and many curses for deaf ears the hellish invention was on and I promptly heard a knock on the door.

“My Lady?”

“I’m not your lady Corvus stop callin me that.”

“My apologies may I come in.”

“Yeah sure whatever.”

His eyes widened slightly they landed on me. He almost looked shocked. Almost.

“So we gonna go see the kid or not.”

“Ah yes, right this way”

He lead me through many halls and turns if I had been any less of a demon I suppose I would have been lost. We come to a stop in front of yet another mahogany door. He knock before opening it a gesturing me inside.

“Sebastian leave us.”

“Yes my lord”

He stood facing the window a fool would think he was deep in thought but I guess I see past that.

It was him who broke the unbearable awkward silence

“Sit” said as though I’m some sort of dog. Like the one he turned Corvus into.

We sat facing each other a large antique desk in between us.

“So tell me how exactly do you know my butler.”

“I’ve known him for a long time”

“I didn’t ask how long you’ve known him I asked how you met him.” The venom in his words would be more intimidating if he wasn’t but a child.

“ I met him in a field of buttercups and forget-me-nots after I was burnt at the stake.”

“I’m sorry?” he was slightly taken aback by my brashness.

“Can I tell you a story? Normally I don’t just go tellin just anyone this story but since you’ve got a friend of mine wrapped around your skrawny finger I figured I’d extend the courtesy.”

“Go on” he was pissed

“The was a girl once in a small village in the new world. Her and her mother settled there, her father had died just about 2 winters prior. And when that girl came of age one of the older men in the town, I think he was percher if I remember right ,took upon himself to marry that girl off since she had no daddy to do it for her. And when that girl refused they labeled her a witch and then tied her up and peraded her around the village. Scorn her and accuse her of frolicking with the devil, But when they tied her to that stake she swore and she cursed them. She burned but never felt it and when she woke she was in a meadow. A man sat atop a rock nearby dark hair bewitching to the foolish and he spoke to her took her under his ebony wing and taught her to fight taught her how to seek revenge on those who wronged that poor girl.” My voice trailed off and I felt a tear hit my hand in my lap.

“So let me guess your that girl.”

“Maybe I am.”

“I suppose I never saw Sebastian as the nurturing type.” Oh how I wanted to punch that smug look off his face.

“You only know what he wants you to know…..You may think you’re in control but he could kill you if he so pleased right his very moment without a second thought. You’re lucky you caught one with some sorta fucked up morals. Demons they’re funny creatures they don’t exist to temp humans as many assume they exist solely for population control. Can’t have to many souls running around in the afterlife now can you.there simply isn’t enough room.”

“Tell me this, what kind of demon are you if you don’t consume souls”

“I make deals. Imma Dream demon. I think some call us masters of the mind. Only a hand full of us exist.”

“There is more like you wandering about.”

“Only a few, only other one I met is Bill and he’s a certified psycho, he was there at the beginning of time and I’m sure he’ll be there at the end. Just consider yourself lucky yah met one that has some sorta humanity left.”

“Humanity that’s a laugh” He seemed to pause for a moment to think before speaking once more. “I’d like to make a deal”

“Yeah and what kinda deal is that”

“I will permit you to stay here in my manor while you figure out your…situation and in return I want you to gather all the information you can on my butler.”

“So you want me to spy on him. Someone I’ve know for just over 300 years. For a boy I met less than two hours ago.”

“Yes” the answer was so nonchalantly I almost believed this little shit.

“How about this I stay here and with Corvus and he helps me with my…situation and in return I’ll protect you and you may have my arsenal of power at your disposal.”

“The power you no longer have” his response was smug almost like he thought he had a checkmate locked and loaded.

“Imma helluva lot stronger than you think”

“Deal”

We both stood and I offer my hand to him engulfed in a souls flame that is ablaze of bright green. The kinda flame that produced no heat but a light that burns just as bright as the stars. He hesitated but reached for my hand. The moment our skin touch I felt it my eyes were white and I could feel and see any and every memory this child ever experienced. I could feel in the moment he feared me. But it was all over just as soon as it had begun. And I was on my way out the door.

“See yah around pip squeak”

The second that heavy mahogany door shut I was grabbed by the throat and slammed into the nearest wall. Corvus was pissed I could feel his breath on my face while I fight to catch my own once more.

“What exactly gives you the right to fill his head with those thoughts.” Anger and malice in every syllable he spoke.

“Did I stick a nerve Sebastian”

His gloved hand around my throat tightens.

“All-all I did was tell him the truth and he wanted to make a deal. Last time I checked that’s not against the rules.” When in the hell did he get so strong.

“Ciel Phantomhive’s soul belongs to me”

That stupid fucking accent of his was really pissing me off

“I don’t want his soul and anyways what the big deal with it anyways? There are plenty of other souls just like his. If I had the power to right now I could leave and come back with 10 just like it and 20 that are even better.”

“That simply isn’t the matter at hand” he’s loosened his grip but he was still impossible close to me.

“Oh it’s not is it. Do you understand how fucking Insane this all is. I saw inside his head when we shook hands and how had i don’t know CPS not been called or some shit. Now don’t get me wrong the modern world I’ve called home is no better but at least someone would say something about all this” gesturing around me. “Not to long ago I finally realized where I had heard the Phantomhive name before I new the boys daddy once upon a time and the fact of the matter is you have what a 14 year old boy running a business and working for the queen like he’s not yah know a child” I may be a demon but I was still once human.

“The young master is quite mature for his age.”

“You and I both know you could have given that kid his revenge a real long time ago and put him out of his misery. Yah know what I think? I think you like it here. I think you berated me for going “soft” but you’re ending up just like me.”

His eyes burned with the fury of a thousand fires, but no response was given.

“Whatever” I push him off me and head down the hall but not before promptly flipping him the bird.

I really need to get outta this dress.

After finally changing back into my clothes I decided it was high time I explored this manor in the process I met May-Rin the maid who was to clumsy for her own good. Finny who was outside in the garden in the process of kill a rosebush with “fertilizer”. Tanaka a small older gentleman who I presume was another butler and last but not least baldroy who was frantically exiting a smoke filled kitchen when what I can only assume was the demon whisky by me to put out said fire.

The “cooks” eyes met mine and he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

“You lost or something miss”

He had a thick accent the kind you’d figure a chimney sweep or a Mary poppies character would have.

“No, just wandering I suppose”

“We’ll I don’t think Mister Sebastian would like you wandering down here”

That’s when Sebastian’s thick voice cut through the air

“She is perfectly fine where she is. You however have once again ruined a perfectly good meal. Do you care to explain yourself.”

By this time he’d come out of the ashen kitchen to the hallway

“Thought it might cook faster, yah know”

Sebastian sighed and pinched his nose.

“You are responsible for cleaning that mess up I have other matters to attend to” with that he once again checked his pocket watch and briskly walked past me. I’m surprised he didn’t shoulder check me as he did.

He’s different than he was when it last saw him something odd years ago. Not just his looks although I don’t mind the form he has taken now with that pitch black hair and amber eyes. He’s just tall enough to be intimidating but not to tall as to be awkward. He’s simply handsome but his personality is different when we first ran into each other he almost seemed like he cared for me as I believed he did long ago. Now he’s cold, calculating, not vicious or vial as many demons are but his eyes a see of resentment towards me or the world. I do not know.

There however is one thing I know I better clean my act up and get the fuck outta dodge so I never have to see this god forsaken era again. So I never have to see him again.

…continuandum…

Though I’d take a second crack at it. Feel free to give feed back.

Ps here’s Pt.3

[tagedeszorns]

Final Round - Fight for Slaaneshmas-pic!

Well, it's going to be one of the Primarchs. some sexy horrible daddy.

And since Fulgrim, Dorn, Curze, Vulkan and Perturabo already had their sexy Slaanesmas-spotlight last year, they are not participating this time.

Guilliman had a Saturnalia-special, so he's out, too.

[morgana-ren]

so the guys keep the awful things they do away from their kids right? but how would they deal with their kids getting older and realizing the sort of stuff that happened to their mom/s before they existed or during? you don't have to though just curious

Oh, yes. Absolutely. Even Reaver would keep his degeneracy away from his children as much as he physically could, on the off-chance he knocks ya up.

Truthfully, if most of them they have their way, the children, even when grown, would never know or ever be privy to any of it. Sorry this kind of goes off on a tangent but my ADHD is wilding out, and the information felt pertinent at the time. The short answer is no, the children are not impacted at all, and the lads have ways of circumventing their wretched pasts.

Corvus is very capable of this canonically, but he's the only one that has an AU where he has children. When he settles and marries and decides he wants children, he makes a decision to put his family first. No more open degeneracy in the home. He is a normal, deeply loving father. His children will be raised in a stable, normal environment. Collars are switched out for more 'subtle' expensive necklaces, toys are stored off-site and on his ship and retrieved with a teleport when needed. No visible chains on the marital bed. Everything is very well hidden with magic beyond what his kids are capable of right now. Etc.

Corvus is a fucking PTA Dilf. Just so you know. He is VERY active in his children's lives and education. Like, we're talking father of the year shit here. His kids will be tiefling-draconic in nature, so he will work on teaching them magic early so they can properly disguise themselves if they attend a normal school, and he will be very strict with them on how to behave around mortals.

That doesn't mean you're getting off the hook. The bedroom is soundproofed and when night falls and you two have alone time, he's very much transforming into a pumpkin. When the kids are gone, daddy comes out to play. He is still Corvus. However, he will not leave open marks on you where they can see and anything damaging he does, he heals. I mean, you both have children to raise. He can't have you bedridden with sex injuries when you have to cook the family dinner and bathe the children and your other motherly duties.

If he's having a family with you, he very much is in love with you and wants to spend the rest of his eternal life with you. He might be a bastard, but you and the children come first in any scenario. He will go as far as banning his brothers from the home if they cannot behave themselves around you. Sadism still gets him off, and he runs a very tight ship as a father and husband, but he would do absolutely anything for you and the kids. In the bedroom, he's still the same old Corvus, except he does not want to permanently scar you in any sense, mentally or physically. Hells, you can even get him to get you off occasionally, if you know how to barter with him, which you will by that point.

There will come a day when they will learn that daddy is a monster. They will learn of his atrocities and who he is. But Corvus spends their entire lives preparing for this moment in case it happens. He raised his children well and with his values and truthfully, it's never been a big deal. By the time they're adults, they're going to have... some idea that their daddy is.. strange with intimacy, but mostly, they just go "Oh yuck! I don't want to hear about my dad's love life with mom! Ew!" and it never comes up. All they know is that their father loves their mother very much-- and they miss out on a lot of the details. If they were your children, would you really want them knowing? (Keep in mind, Corvus will not have a family unless you love him back. He will make you love him. He will prove himself.)

Astarion doesn't take to it as effortlessly as Corvus does, but he's much the same way. He will still whisper off-color things in your ear and slap your ass when they aren't looking, but mostly, he manages to rein himself in. He's a bit looser with it (he believes it's normal that his children know how much their father loves their mother) but he's not degenerate about it by any means.

Him feeding is a lot less sexual and a lot more functional when he has children-- at least when they're around. It's much more of a 'sit down to breakfast' affair. He will usually have reserves of blood around so that he doesn't have to feed at all in front of them, if he can help it. He feels strange about it when they're around because it was a sexual act before and that doesn't just fade away, even if he needs to feed to live. It just feels inappropriate.

Astarion is actually capable of having relatively normal sex-- and I mean normal relatively, because in comparison to Reaver and Corvus and even Ilya, he is capable of being the most tame. You flirt with him by being bratty or whatever else have you, but he will always manage to keep himself in check until the kids are gone to school or over at a friend's house. But then you're in for it.

Sex and intimacy with Astarion who has settled down with you is capable of being much more playful than it is sadistic. By that point, if you've really connected with him, chances are you're kind of into it, same with all the others (you know, as much as you can be when your husband is a immoral sadist.) When you get some alone time, he is going to indulge, and he's going to make sure that you want to. He will keep you crawling back and begging. It is a subtle game that is not played when the babies are home.

Any scars he's given you are properly glamored (he will not let Corvus heal it, it is a sign of his love) and covered when the children are growing. He doesn't play with knives when they're around, as it's not safe for them. He very much switches into vampiric lord father mode. Finest education, finest life, etc.

Truthfully, he would probably prefer that you make up some story about how you met, or at least romanticize the real way. Leave out all of the grosser details. He doesn't want the children knowing anything inappropriate at all. To them, he is a normal loving father and you are a normal loving family. He just happens to be a vampire.

If they're half vampiric (or even full blood vampires) he would want them homeschooled. He wants them in a safe place where they will be kept clean and on the up-and-up. He remembers the early years of his thirst and how uncontrollable it was, and he doesn't want to risk the family getting isolated and singled out. He would scour the globe to ensure his children had friends and could properly socialize and maintain friendly relationships. If he's established a coven, he would have a school set up for the children where they could be with children like them.

While he is nervous at first, he blossoms into an excellent father. Corvus had more of the atrocities attached to their name, so realistically, the only thing they will ever learn about their father is that he is a vampire lord, and being his children, they understand he has to feed on mortals. His relationship with you will be far more consensual and loving at that point, and chances are neither of you would feel the need to bring up the nastier past, especially how you met or the kind of monster their father can be.

Reaver probably struggles the most. Not because he doesn't want to hide it, but because his idea of normal is just so fucking skewed at this point that he has to relearn it. It backfires. Rather than being too inappropriate, he's too stoic.

He's going to be very anxious. So anxious that he basically wants to raise a nanny to raise the children full time. Obviously, that's not going to work, and it will take years until he's finally comfortable raising the kids like a father truly would. Mostly because at that point, he's afraid he's going to ruin their lives by just being him.

He's going to look to you to teach him right from wrong. You will basically be raising two children: Your actual child and him. He doesn't know what to do, so he's going to try to buy their affection and spoil them senseless. They will have the finest of everything, and attend the finest private school.

He's one of those dads that when their kid gets bad grades, he blames the teacher. He will bribe the school. He will throw money around. Like he is one to do. He does not understand what is wrong with this, so if you want to discipline your children for behaving poorly, you will be doing it with him mostly being silent. It will take some time for him to get the hang of proper parenting, and he still messes up sometimes.

He's going to be very uncomfortable showing any affection to you in front of them, mostly because he doesn't understand. Love, to him, is a naughty word. He's the most staunch about it genuinely because he is trying.

He loves his children very, very much. He just has to be taught how show love. You have to explain to him that it's okay for parents to say 'I love you' to each other in front of their kids. It's okay for him to kiss you and squeeze you.

it's business as usual when the kids aren't around though. The filthy, disgusting, nasty man you came to love. He's going to try to cram (in more ways than one) all of his urges into a very short amount of time. He will have a special hidden chamber that is very different from your standard bedroom that is only opened with a key that he has and never removes. When the kids are away for a while, you will be spending most of your time there, and poor Barry will be tending to your needs like food, water, and the essentials.

When the kids get older and they want to know how mommy and daddy fell in love, he's going to spin an elaborate lie about how you were some lovestruck fan who was enamored with his brilliance, and his looks, and-- it's total garbage. It becomes a running joke. He, like the others, will completely hide your origins.

The hardest part would be hiding his various crimes. Not against you, but just the fucking world at large. He's a celebrity and a ruthless business man known for killing everything. Truthfully, he might ask Corvus to help him move somewhere far off and away so his children are raised out from under the shadow of his influence.

He will not stop killing things though. And he will not give up his business. He's a provider after all. He will ensure that all business is done very far away from his children.

Ilya will be outwardly pleased when you fall pregnant, but inside, he is panicking. Keep in mind, this man had a very strained childhood that left him with a litany of issues that persist to this day. Especially given how you met, he's worried you might decide you don't love him and you'll turn against him and take his child with you. This doesn't make him angry; this makes him afraid.

Ilya is aware of the technicalities of raising children. He, like Corvus, won't have a huge issue with the standard bits. He doesn't struggle not to murder or be cruel in front of them. He can rein himself in easily. He takes to fatherhood very well. He loves his children and his wife a scary amount. It's kind of wild watching him 'grow' all the sudden when he has a family.

Ilya's biggest struggle won't be forgoing degeneracy. It will be his complete and utter fear that he is going to be a father like his father. That you don't really love him, and rather that you're manipulating him because you feel like you have to in order to survive-- even though that might've sorta been the case before.

Do not worry. This can be soothed, and he's actually a very attentive husband and father. Ilya will not have children with you if you don't love him, so rest assured if you have kids, he is dedicated to it. He won't do it unless he knows for goddamn sure. Even when he knows, he won't know. This man needs so much reassurance. It's possible, but it's a weird script flip, as he doesn't like being vulnerable, and it's very strange and uncanny at first. He just calms down and speaks openly and honestly, and when you're used to him being a cold, cruel, manipulative shithead, it's just... different.

Ilya is the most likely to sit down with you and ask you what you want when it comes to the children asking mommy and daddy how they met. Obviously, he doesn't want to scare them or make him think he's a horrible person (he might be, but not in regards to his children and wife, if he can help it) but he doesn't want to deny your truth either. That wouldn't be fair. He thinks the one thing that kept him sane was his mother, and he won't take that from his children. Your experience is important to him. You are important to him. He loves you deeply, but he will not deny the monster he can be at your expense. Unlike Corvus, he won't keep a lid on his secrets if you think it's important to be honest with them. He will impress subtlety and appropriate age, for their sakes, but what you want is important to him.

A lot of the initial fears and anxieties abate in the early years of the child's life, and things fall into a comfortable rhythm-- albeit with a little chaos, like tends to happen wth children. You will take your place comfortably at Ilya's side, and you'd be surprised how respectful he can be, especially in the open.

Obviously that horrible shit gets him off, but weirdly, your feelings will tend to come first. If you're exhausted because the baby kept you up all night, he will respect that and offer to tend to the child the next night. Obviously, intimacy with you is still very important to him, but he knows well enough how exhausting motherhood and fatherhood can be. Maybe Uncle Corvus takes them out for a little bit so mommy and daddy can have some alone time.

He, like the others, will take absolute care to ensure that nothing leaks out of the bedroom. Ilya is one of the few of them that actually really enjoys giving pleasure rather than holding it over your head (cough Corvus cough) and he's capable of being a great lover. So great, in fact, that you can almost trick your mind into thinking things were your idea. They tend to calm down into kink territory rather than terror territory. He will still scare you, and be very domineering, and have... unconventional desires (all of this is put very nicely for all of them btw because it feels odd mentioning in a post about their kids even if they aren't technically real), but at this point, it will likely send shivers down your spine. If he's kept you this long, you connect on a level that makes this possible.

Ilya is partial to homeschooling, as he is extremely educated and is capable of teaching them himself, but if you feel like it's important that the kids get an unbiased view of the world, he will help you school-shop. Ilya is very flexible on most things, although he does have staunch views on some others.

The main point is that your life before the kids doesn't have to come up or impact their upbringing at all. He's still him, but he's masterful at playing the incredible father-- or perhaps just being one, depending on your outlook. He's still a seedy, shady man, and he still has wants and desires that are... dubious, at best, but when he loves you and respects you, he can be rational and respectful.

The biggest issue might be maneuvering Ilya's love for his culture and past (you know, the proud bits) while not outright telling your children "Yes, daddy is a devil who was alive that long ago, actually." He might have to pretend it was a distant ancestor until they come of age and are old enough to truly understand. Thankfully, with Corvus in charge of the hells, it's easy for him to cut ties for the good of his children until they're old enough to understand or be on their own. Your kids will be raised to love and appreciate their ancestry, but um... he's going to leave the hell part out, if he can.

[whatdoyoumeanitsnotcanon]

who would win in a BBQ cook off between the primarchs?

None of them because it's an absolute clusterfuck:

Sanguinius is barred from doing it because the Blood Angels are convinced it's an assassination plot and his feathers will catch fire so they guard him closely. He may or may not suck at cooking too.

Jaghatai is too busy going fast so he has neither the time nor patience to let the meat slow cook.

Alpharius and Omegon manage to sabotage the whole cook-off so the judges (which consisted of Big Daddy E, Malcador, and, I don't know, Valdor) didn't even show up because it wasn't even on the schedule.

They also pissed off Guilliman by fucking up his order of materials so now he's THISCLOSE to throwing his grill at them because HE BUDGETED FOR THIS YOU SHITS—

Angron is just pissed anyway and got his ass eliminated before the shit even began. Later on, his brothers find out he's actually a very good baker if only because he takes all of his anger out on the dough.

Mortarion is banned from participating by virtue of being Mortarion.

Magnus... has more important things to do. But he silently hopes that Leman fucks up. By silently, I really meant that he openly, within earshot, said that he hopes Leman fucks up.

And what do you know? Leman fucks up. Because fuck this noise. He said something to Lion, which he took as an insult, and they started fighting. Again.

Vulkan... burns his shit. To a crisp. To a fucking crisp.

Konrad and Corvus are playing a game of Hide and Seek and Go Stab because Konrad was on his bullshit and told Corvus that he loves the smell of freshly cooked crow. YEAH—

Horus is... Horus is chatting with Sanguinius. Drinking wine and gossiping about what a shit show this all is. They're reveling in it, though.

Ferrus Manus and Fulgrim would have a friendly competition but Fulgrim hates prepping food because it'll get under his nails and he just got a manicure this morning so HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM?! Spends his time bitching to Ferrus about it while Ferrus is peacefully cooking his food.

Lorgar isn't really interested and is only half-heartedly paying attention. He's lounging with Horus and Sanguinius. May or may not be plotting Leman's demise because he called him a little bitch for not participating.

Perty and Dorn are... well, they don't participate in the cooking per se but they did provide the grills. As in, they had a pissing contest and built two different grills and made their brothers use either to see which model was more efficient for cooking. Seeing as this is a clusterfuck of an event, they never get an actual answer.

[empress-leo]

Rating each of the 88 IAU designated constellations based on how good they would be as a name for a member of the Black family because I’m bored and this road trip will take at least 2 more hours.

Andromeda: 10/10 no notes. It’s perfect disaster name material.

Antila: 6/10 I feel they would be the weird middle child of the family

Apus: 5/10 could be good as a domineering father figure, otherwise I wouldn’t want to call my edgy soft boi Apus Black

Aquarius: 3/10 would get made fun of and not taken seriously

Aquila: 7/10 perfect name for an adventurous lesbian that got disinherited yet is a total badass

Ara: 1/10 I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from thinking Ara Ara Black

Aries: 9/10 perfect antagonist name

Auriga: 2/10 just doesn’t really roll off the tongue well

Boötes: 3/10 not bad, but the double Bs knock it down a few points

Caelum: 6/10 good as the edgy second in command to an antagonist, otherwise unremarkable

Camelopardis: 0/10 horrible would only be made fun of for being named the objectively worse version of giraffe

Cancer: 0/10 do I even need to explain

Canes Venatici: 2/10 to many syllables

Canis Major: 4/10 could see this being used as the name for an older twin, but not on its own

Canis Minor: 4/10 ditto but for the younger twin

Capricornus: 3/10 maybe as a medieval ancestor, but not as a modern black

Carina: 8/10 younger sister name

Cassiopeia: 10/10 amazing

Centaurus: 2/10 this would probably offend the actual centaurs

Cepheus: 5/10 total emo recluse name

Cetus: 7/10 short and snappy, perfect for an overbearing father

Chamaeleon: 4/10 I could totally see them using this out of pure spite

Circinus: 3/10 at best a great-grandfather, otherwise horrible

Columba: 8/10 would be a soft and gentle older sister

Coma Berenices: 0/10 too many syllables and has coma in the name

Corona Australis: 0/10 too specific

Corona Borealis: 0/10 see above

Corvus: 10/10 the ultimate emo boi name

Crater: 8/10 would play beater on the house team

Crux: 8/10 definitely a middle child with something to prove

Cygnus: 8/10 a daddy you don’t want to mess with

Delphinus: 6/10 the secretive bastard daughter who has inherited angst

Dorado: 2/10 too many Os

Draco: 10/10 Draco Malfoy adopted by the Blacks AU vibes

Equuleus: 5/10 too many Us, other could be good for a grandfather

Eridanus: 5/10 if you place the emphasis on the i then it works, otherwise not

Fornax: 3/10 probably sounds cooler than the person with the name actually is

Gemini: 4/10 youngest child energy

Grus: 6/10 people would think it’s a nickname then be surprised it’s their real name

Hercules: 9/10 though it would probably end up being used be someone with extremely supremacist views, ruining the name for everyone else

Horologium: 0/10 imagine introducing yourself as ‘watch’

Hydra: 6/10 would defiantly be the younger brother of Hercules

Hydrus: 5/10 either the worse version of Hydra or the better version

Indus: 4/10 coloniser vibes

Lacerta: 9/10 absolutely the daughter that ran away from the family becuase she loved a Muggle

Leo: 10/10 I’m biased

Leo Minor: the inferior sibling of Leo

Lepus: 1/10 sound too much like Leper

Libra: 4/10 Le Bruh Black

Lupus: 8/10 Lupin gets adopted by the Blacks AU vibes

Lynx: 6/10 you think they’re gonna be all edgy and intimidating but they’re actually soft and apologetic for their crazy name

Lyra: 9/10 pure spice, I love it

Mensa: 0/10 I can’t think of anything I like about it

Microscopium: 0/10 like, BRUH, why

Monoceros: 6/10 the Uncle that’s a bit too into blood purity and duelling

Musca: 2/10 I- I mean, really?

Norma: 5/10 the boring and unremarkable young sister

Octans: 7/10 I could see it being used as the name of an aide

Ophiuchus: 0/10 horrible

Orion: 10/10 it’s perfect

Pavo: 4/10 that cousin you only see once every few years and aren’t quite sure how you’re related

Pegasus: 8/10 kinda heroic, I could see this being used for a main character

Perseus: 7/10 same comment as above, just a weaker version of it

Phoenix: 8/10 the hot headed brother, though given that phoenixes are real it’s kinda like naming your child cheetah

Pictor: 1/10 if a black family member ever became a grave digger, it would be Pictor

Piscis: 3/10 could be worse. I imagine this child would be mostly forgotten about though

Piscis Austrinus: 1/10 the worse version of Picsis

Puppis: 6/10 excitable younger sibling energy

Pyxis: 8/10 a name for a younger sibling who reads a few too many dark magic books

Reticulum: 1/10 horrible. Absolutely horrible

Sagitta: 7/10 people would think it’s a nickname for Sagittarius, but it actually works on its own

Sagittarius: 5/10 could just use Sagitta as a nickname

Scorpius: 9/10 almost as emo as Corvus. Almost.

Sculptor: 3/10 I could see them using it as the name of an ancestor who lived before the 17th cenfury

Scutum: 1/10 sounds too much like scrotum. Anyone who would be named this would have anger issues

Serpens: 3/10 sounds incomplete

Sextans: 3/10 in the same boat as Sculptor

Taurus: 10/10 absolutely perfect for a Father or Uncle that is an amazing duellist and is mad when his son isn’t

Telescopium: 0/10 hmm yes I would like to seeeeeee

Triangulum: 0/10 triangulate a better name

Triangulum Australe: 0/10 no that’s worse

Tucana: 8/10 either an adoring mother or the youngest brother

Ursa Major: 4/10 good older twin name

Ursa Minor: 4/10 good younger twin name

Vela: 5/10 I could see this being used, but it would cause problems with the Veela community

Virgo: 6/10 but only if pronounced as Vir(j)o Black instead of Vir(g)o Black

Volans: 6/10 semi-decent, but definitely not the oldest child

Vulpecula: 3/10 any child named this will immediately become angry

[leo-fie]

Black Library (presumably): So we're doing just some Primarch novellas to show who they are and how they interact with their Legions. Let's set it during the Great Crusade, before things went sideways. Nothing special, maybe 200 pages. David, you do Vulkan.

David Annandale: Ok, so how about the Terran Salamanders are fighting a whole lot of Orks and it looks really bad for them and their Daddy comes with the Nucturne Salamanders to safe them. And it's set on a vulcano planet, because planets only have one type of ecosystem.

BL: Sounds good. Guy, you do Corvus Corax, ok?

Guy Haley: ...

BL: Guy?

Guy Haley: ...

Guy Haley: CORVUS CORAX IS A HYPOCRITE, A FALSE REVOLUTIONARY! HE NEVER SUBSTANTIALLY IMPROVES LIVING CONDITIONS ON HIS HOME WORLD! HE'S WAY MORE INTERESTED IN SYMBOLIC ACTS OF JUSTICE, HIS BRAND OF JUSTICE ON PEOPLE HE DEEMS RESPONSIBLE, THAN ACTUALLY ADRESSING THE SYSTEM ISSUES, THEREBY PERPETUATING THE STRUCTURAL INJUSTICE WITH BUT NEW PEOPLE IN CHARGE. AND HE'S TOO SELF-ABSORBED IN HIS OWN VIEW OF HIMSELF AS A LIBERATOR THAT HE RATHER CONDEMN A FORMER FRIEND THAN REFLECT ON HIMSELF.

[emeritus-fuckers]

I just read the request s/o having a bad nightmare and an idea came to mind. A really cute one! Okay, what if…G. grotesque and his s/o are sleeping one night and one of their kids (daughter or son) wakes them up because they had a bad nightmare? I wonder how G would react and what kind of dad he’d be.

i did a backflip when i saw this ask i love you so much anon - rat

G. Grotesque comforting his child(ren) after a nightmare

G.'s honestly an amazing, loving dad who adores his partner and kids.

You don't really get married unless you tell him you want to. He doesn't really feel the need to do that on his own, he loves you and he's comfortable with not getting married.

You have twins together, a boy (Corvus) and a girl (Raven). Although they later come out as nonbinary and gxrl. G. is incredibly proud of them when they do come out, but that's for later. We're dealing with toddlers now.

Raven is incredibly independent and big on her personal space, only being up for cuddles when she wants them. Sorta like a black cat.

Corvus, however, is a copy of his father. His first word was "cuddle", and his second word was "hi", so he goes up to people with a cute, innocent look and moves his hands up with an adorable little "hi, cuddle".

Anyone who comes through the door is his best friend right away. Corvus is like a very excited golden retriever puppy.

Despite being very different, they seem to be the proof of the telepathic link between twins.

And so, if one of them has a nightmare, they both wake up crying and run to your bedroom, climbing on the bed to wake up their parents.

And G. wakes up pretty much right away when the kids come into the room, pulling them both in for cuddles.

You join said cuddles, of course.

Once the initial crisis is settled (which only takes a few minutes, he has some sort of unusual magical skill that calms everyone when he holds them), he leaves you to hold the babies while he makes warm cocoa for them.

If they fall asleep from the warm drink and affection, the twins sleep with you in the bed.

If they're still awake, he takes them back to their room and helps them build a big pillow fort so they can defend themselves against the Big Bad Nightmare Monster.

Somehow, he convinces the kids that he's even more scared of the nightmares than they are, so of course, the twins want to protect their daddy!

They end up pretty much pulling him back to the bedroom so you and him stay together while they chase nightmares away... by sleeping in the pillow fort.

The little grins on their faces the morning after are absolutely priceless.

~

Written by Nosferatu.

Taglist: @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @calliedion-dungeon @callmeicaro @thecuriouss @nuntia @thermodynamic-comedian

[unrealcorvus]

bottles of darvocet by unreal corvus

star trek, batman, outer limits bewitched, jaques cousteau, gomer pyle

mama says her head hurts lying in the dark boys play quiet and dogs don't you bark mama so big so fierce and so strong lays in bed all weekend long bottles of darvocet in her top drawer daddy's a doctor so there'll always be more

there's no light except the tv shining on my little brother and me billy feed your brother, that's my little man gave him a sandwich of mayonnaise and jam bottles of darvocet in her top drawer daddy's a doctor so there'll always be more

sea hunt, f-troop, the invaders green acres, get smart, my three sons

everyone's sleeping now leaving just me alone with my playmates that live on teevee the enterprise wooshed and the bat logo twirled living at the bottom of a tiny dark world bottles of darvocet in her top drawer daddy's a doctor so there'll always be more

third rail memory in an old man's head carry it with me until i am dead i can still picture that tv in my mind watched by a part of me left behind bottles of darvocet in her top drawer daddy was a doctor so there always was more

flipper, lost in space, bonanza gilligan's island, wild kingdom, mr. Ed