#daily reminder to myself that i have friends and they gen like me

[aesrot]

theres nothing worse you can do to your mental health than staying in a friendship group where you always feel left out

[jaylleoo14]

TW: BOTMM is a short drabble leading up to Keratoconus Entrapment. Although nothing explicit happens in this drabble be wary that the following will contain such themes/mentions (along with Keratoconus Entrapment): Horror/dark themes, deaths/murders, butchering/gore, unsettling descriptions, kidnapping, gen violence, blackmailing, alcohol, partying, corruption, morphed views of artistic expression, manipulation and gaslighting. All characters are aged up, you have been warned 

This idea sparked while I was listening to an audio and I was like "hmm, i like how ominous and spooky this can be." then suddenly boom, Jade Leech has spawned. So hear me out okay WAIT IM ACTUALLY KINDA SCARED RN BECAUSE SO MUCH IS BEING ENVISIONED IN MY MIND😭🙏 :') Okay but as the ideas kept on racking and stacking on top of each other I started to get a little "oh wow, this is actually starting to sound kinda good tho-" (im envisioning an uncanny Jade rn and i'm scared-)

Have you heard?

Heard of what?

The Mushroom Man who lives down Rocker Lane.

I. From paints to charcoal, to clay to wood. Then to pencil and pen, then back to your roots of finger painting on cardboard.

You've always had this sort of love for drawing. Since you were little you can recall your mother had always talked about how you were such an artistic child. A crafty one at that. Your dad was always telling his friends that his child was always so expressive and imaginative whenever the topic was brought up. Continuing on keeping up with art along your adolescence, to middle school, to then high school, you felt like you knew what you wanted to do. That being why you decided to go pursue an art major.

The university you are going to attend, University of Arts in Atlantica, was where you'd be heading on over next. Its a funny feeling in your stomach really, moving out and all and going to meet new people as you drift away from your old ones. The feelings welt up inside you slowly, feeling a sad weight bringing you down. You'd be staying in a co-ed dorm, at least then you'd be able to hopefully meet new people and make more friends. That's one of the main things you were looking forward to. It's time to look on the positive side here, and as you make your daily affirmations to yourself you bring out your phone to go to your notes app to remind yourself of the good things that happened and what to look forward to.

I saw a man helping his old relative (not sure) down a street earlier. That was really nice.

I saw some black cats cuddling with each other near the grass yesterday

the weather is nice today, it's not too windy and the sun is out high

I was able to pack another box of my stuff, I should go reward myself now

I was able to send in my resume for a job application nearby. I should also reward myself because I did a good job at tending to it.

Oh, that's right. You recently did submit a job application. You submitted it to a bakery oddly enough.

Art comes in many different shapes and forms, and you personally had another interest. That being the culinary arts. For at least once in your life you wanted to experience the working life of a culinary student, and although pursuing it as a career plan wasn't your solid choice - it was one of the options. And thankfully enough, the man there who skimmed through your resume seemed rather gentle about your chances. Hopefully you get the job, I mean you have plenty of experience before as well with handling and decorating foods. That was the main thing you were interested in. Sure you do enjoy baking, but it was the expression of being able to decorate cakes and pastries there that you were more eager to do.

Trey was the person who introduced himself first, claiming that his family owned the business. After the whole process of submission for your intended new job, something blue catches your eye. A natural call of curiosity causes you to divert your eyes a little away from Trey- who was finishing up the bases of what's to expect- and see a tall man through the window of the kitchen door. He had teal short hair, a longer black length of hair tucked behind his ear and his eyes looked rather sharp and lifted from the side. If for just a moment of observation, Trey caught where your eyes were distracted at.

"Oh, well it's still business hours, you know. He's another employee working here as well. If you get the job you'll see him more frequently." He says it so casually, but you would really hope you do get the job. Fiddling your fingers a little, you show a bit of anxiousness but you keep it professional. "What are the chances of me getting hired? I'm really eager to get this position."

A thoughtful look is splayed on his face, his glasses framing them well. "Well your past work seems promising. It doesn't look professional enough for it to display but I'm sure with enough practice it may work. Just wondering though, you're an art student, yes? Do you think you'd manage the hours alongside your classes?"

His words were a little hard for you to hear but you greatly needed it, a set reminder that you really still are an inexperienced culinary artist if anything. However you proceed to give him a determined answer. "Yes, I'll manage. I will uphold my duties responsibly, please consider taking me."

"They seem eager, don't you agree Trey?" Both your attention is turned and directed on the voice who spoke from behind, the teal haired man coming forward. He had a black plain apron on with the logo of a clover on his right chest, a white chef shirt on as the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. “Eagerness and experience are two separate things. I’ll consider it, don't worry.” 

Not knowing what to say, the teal haired man turns his attention onto you. You both meet each other's eyes and his lips curve more upward to be more inviting and polite. “Oh how rude of me, where are my manners? You can address me as Jade Leech.” He goes over to shake your hand as a formal greeting, and ever since then things have been going alright. Would you look at that, you got the job! And you’ve already moved in, meeting friendly people from all over with wild stories to tell. “Ugh, such an extroverted thing to do. I could never.” Idia’s voice is made metallic through your phone as you tell him about how you plan on going to this frat party to welcome the new incoming people. It was a new time of your life, why not let loose and meet new people? “Your reasoning still stinks. Imagine all the sweaty smelly bodies you’d bump into there. Not only that but eee! So many loud normies! My HP would already max out by the time I get there, definitely not.” 

“Look, I’ll be back soon okay? I want to try and enjoy this night before anything real happens like classes and work.” Bringing your coat on, you sling over a fanny pack over your torso with all the required things for what you can expect at this frat party. “If you don't let me know that you came home safely I’ll be adding modifications into that device of yours.” A simple reassurance is all it takes for him to hang up and with some worn converse shoes you slip out of your room. 

Clink!

Here's to a new school life. Surrounded by other lively participants of party go-ers, you hold a drink of alcohol in your cup. Everyone seems to have a good time, the music is blasting, the people are dancing and enjoying their time, and you have crazy party go-ers here climbing the roofs and pulling crazy stunts. It's quite the impression really. Taking a step outside all the way to where the cars are parked from the frat house, you take a deep breath and catch yourself a breather. Idia was right for the most part, and for this to be your first time at a frat party it was definitely overwhelming. However one thing for sure was that you were able to meet new people and enjoy your time there, just needed a little break is all. 

Little did you know though, that nearby deep in hidden trees and bushes laid a beaten up person. Most likely dead. No, definitely dead. For Jade Leech is always one to ensure that the deal is done. Frat parties, loud music, drunken party go-ers, it was all the perfect set up for him to strike and take advantage of. Who would know if just a person or two went missing? Especially ones who come by themselves. He’s got an eye for people you could say, with the way his eyes are arched up so meticulously. The location was just too good to miss out as well. Here it’s a little more isolated with vegetation growing around, the house being more secluded due to its bigger land. Blood is soaked into the dirt, his smile content that the earth is gaining some nutrition. 

Oh, what a surprise. He sees a familiar figure in the distance leaning up against one of the cars on the dirt path. It’s you. He could strike, but it would cause trouble. You aren’t his target. At least not yet. He can play a patient game, and a patient game he will play. The future awaits many things for the two of you, so until then, enjoy your fresh new life and your new job. You clock in the day following tomorrow, where Jade will surely start to learn more about you. And as much as he will learn about you, you my dear reader, will surely start to learn about him much more than what ordinary people see and know about him behind closed, faux smiled, bloodied doors.

I hope this reaches the right audience, but to all my dark/horror/yandere enthusiasts

just know..... JADE IS A BAKER IN HERE WITH NICE MF ARMS><

Literally the only thing i was fixated on when I was writing this, I was like "oml yes Jade with them nice buff baker arms anfisdifbfiubwif Trey you arent gonna be alone in this✊🤞." I practically melted just thinking about it while writing this ^^;

[marirah]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you @vellaphoria for tagging me!

20 Questions for Fic Writers

How many works do you have on AO3?

oof okay it's a lot. i have two accounts, and one of them is over 10 years old so....

metukah (est 2013): 185

marirah (est 2022): 85

for a total of 270 works... oof

What’s your total A03 word count?

metukah: 407,889

marirah: 133,069

total: 540,958

What fandoms do you write for?

DC these days. I started in the one direction fandom, played around with Percy Jackson, the MCU, and Star Trek

What are your top five fics by kudos?

marirah:

Protected - T Sladick. After another blowout fight with Bruce, Dick offers to let his little brothers move in with him. And the mystery boyfriend they've never heard of before. (3.5k)

Daily Planet: Live From Gotham - G Superbat. Clark has an old crush on Batman and a new crush on Bruce Wayne. Lois is merciless. (3.5k)

Red - E JayTim. Jason doesn't know who this Red is or why he's in Dick's apartment, but it doesn't matter in the end. (6k)

Unread - G Jason & Dick. Jason finally caves to the kid's demands that he clear out his inbox. As it turns out, Dick has been writing to him for years. (1.5k)

Loud - G DickTim. Tim finds a little bird in his Nest and takes him home. (1k)

metukah:

Introducing Us - G batfam gen, side StephCass. The Justice League doesn’t know how many bats there are, or where Batman is keeping them all. (1.9k)

Field Trip - G Peter Parker & the Avengers. Peter Parker and his classmates take a trip to Stark Industries. He only spends about half of it wanting to melt into the floor. (3.2k)

I'm (Not) a Mess - G JayRoy. Roy Harper is Neal Caffrey. He's not letting that get in the way of his relationship with his daughter. (4.7k)

Ninjas as a Catalyst - G Birdflash. Peter doesn't like to remind people of how good an investigator he is, but he can definitely connect the dots. (4k)

Double Take - G Birdflash. Several years after Neal Caffrey disappears, Peter and Elizabeth are visiting El’s cousin Wally, who is engaged to Dick Grayson. Who used to be Neal Caffrey. (1.2k)

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm not really that angsty a writer i think? i thought letter (dicktim, SPYRAL) had an angsty ending but i checked, and... it doesn't really lmao

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i mostly write happy endings, but my favorite one technically isn't up yet. i'm just really happy with how my joint year of the otp/year of jason and slade series is going.

Do you get hate on your fic?

luckily, i don't really!

Do you write smut?

absolutely (see above lmao)

Do you write crossovers?

i've written a lot of white collar x dc, and i've been playing with dc x marvel x percy jackson recently

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i had someone ask once but i don't think anything ever came of it

Have you ever co-written a fic?

i had a co-written series once

What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

right now it's 1000% dicktim! (send me a message to join an 18+ dicktim server!)

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have trouble finishing anything longer than a oneshot, they just rot in my scrivener files forever

What’s your writing strengths?

does fluff count? i like my fluff

What’s your writing weaknesses?

keeping up with things longer than 1k. also i tend to burn myself out

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i'd feel more comfortable with it if i spoke the language. but i have been known to use pet names from other languages sometimes, namely Hebrew

First fandom you wrote for?

the first thing i ever wrote (in middle school) was technically percy jackson self insert. i just wanted to be friends with percy and annabeth. i still want to be friends with percy and annabeth

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

oh man. pretty much everything i write, i write for myself, so all of my works have been my favorites at one point. right now, i'm really happy with Negative and Aperature, which are a series with reverse Robins dicktim.

I tag @klarion-the-witch-boy , @the-alice-of-hearts , @ginbenci, and @bittercape

[thevirgodoll]

Hi... So, I just feel quite lonely lately. Most of my friends barely talk to me if they ever do at all. I made a new friend but honestly I don't think we'll be very close... We aren't very similar. I tend to stress out over this but it seems I should make new friends. The issue is that I'm probably autistic and struggle with making new friends, too.

Do you have any advice? :>

It might just have to do with self esteem or thinking I'm too boring...

Sorry for the dumping 🤍

This will be long because friendships are so very important to me… I feel like this generation has the hardest time building a community and blame themselves.

While I’m also neurodivergent and understand this struggle completely, you have to stop shitting on yourself for that while you’re ahead. Internalized ableism is not fun and makes life significantly harder. (/s).

This may sound rude but I promise you most people do not care. People are inherently selfish and do not think of you so harshly the way you think of yourself. Most people are too concerned with themselves and their own reality to analyze your traits negatively the way you’re doing right now. Those types of people are very rare and not worth listening to anyway. /gen

I mean, this is why I post what I do. See how you’re doubting yourself? This is why building a narrative based on your inner critic is unhealthy. This is also why some people genuinely think they don’t deserve friends or it’s impossible to make them because they truly think in their heart that they are unworthy. This is you at the moment and it breaks my heart because I used to be you and sometimes I fall short because making friends is really difficult. /gen

You need to speak to your old friends about how they behave. Either it’s not personal and y’all need to establish boundaries or it is personal and they’re not cut out to be your friend. I find that as we get older establishing wants and needs for friendships is difficult because we expect them to already know like in the early stages of high school. This is something I remind myself daily even at my age. /gen

But if you already have tried to have that convo regarding your boundaries for your friends to no avail, then it’s time to let them go…you’re meant to outgrow people and some people are only here for a season and won’t make it through the storms. You have to learn that anyone who feels this way is missing out. /s

And you have to remind yourself that making friends shouldn’t be so serious. People put so many expectations on someone that will more than likely be an acquaintance. Everyone will not be your friend…most people will be incapable. Some people are just good for going to the club, some people are good for emotional support. Stop putting regular people under the friends category because most of the time they won’t live up to that and you’ll be disappointed. /s

Plus…if someone will become a true friend, you have to give them the chance because friendship trauma can only be resolved by new friendships.

Even with differences, for people that prove that they can go the distance and appreciate the differences y’all may have in personality, they’re crucial to keep. You may never know how you and this new person can teach each other and cultivate new skills that the other doesn’t have through the lack of similarities.

You have to make a list of wants and needs in a friend and decide this year how you want to move forward. Stop doubting yourself…remember that’s not what we do here.

I’m sure you’re a sweet person because you made it here on my blog and everyone here is genuinely an Angel. You are brave enough to be introspective. Going inwards instead of projecting it onto others shows your character…but sometimes that introspection can lead you astray and think you’re the problem because of how self aware you are. /gen

Don’t change the core who you are just to get someone to appreciate it because that’s how people lose themselves in everyone else and never recover. Sending you a virtual hug. Don’t let your heart be troubled!!! Good things are on its way. /gen

Now let’s get you dolled back up because you are a hot stankin’ mess for thinking this way. Come on now, you are wasting time hating yourself and crying and life is passing you by. Let’s wake up and be fr beloved. Don’t make me take your Dollhouse key away. /j /hj /nsrs

[urlbending]

2022 Year End Fic Review

in the words of a very ancient internet joke, better nate than lever!!

1. What is your AO3 account?

My ao3 is lookatallthemoresigive, because that was my tumblr url at the time i created my ao3. I desperately need to change it but I'm having trouble coming up with a new one and am worried if i switch I'll lose brand recognition, which is hilarious bc my MO is to write a fic or two for a fandom and then bounce

2. How many words did you write total in 2022?

I wrote 8,487 published words, but i have at least 7k unpublished. There is a very long rangshi capture the avatar au that been languishing in my drafts for over six months that im hoping to finish up and post this year. I am not a particularly fast writer because i obsess over every word i use, but I've found that with practice im getting faster and better at writing more

3. How many fics did you publish in 2022? How many multichapters vs oneshots?

I published 4, which is about my usual (a couple of random scattered fics + yuletide). They're all oneshots of varying length. My new years resolution is to write 5 fics this year!! I'm holding myself to it. One day I'll write a complete multi-chapter fic, but it's not currently in the cards.

4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest fic?

Longest: a kyoshi novels fic about hei-ran, 바늘 구멍으로 하늘 보기

4,441 words that i agonized over, including the title. I'm super proud of this fic.

Shortest: your hair never falls in quite the same way, a locked tomb missing scene fic clocking in at 890 words.

I honestly had a pretty quick turnaround time writing this one. After i had a lovely and overwhelming response to a rangshi drabble in 2021, I've been trying to be better about posting fics regardless of their length. Sometimes, hitting 1k or even 500 words is not necessary to tell a story

5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular fic?

Most popular: kiss you too hard and follow you west another quick turnaround, this is a rangshi fluff fic so i’m not surprised

Least popular: Shinrin-Yoku, my gen character study yuletide fic for a video game that came out in 2020. I'm not losing any sleep over it. Its currently at a 15% kudos to hits ratio which good!

6. What fic didn’t perform as well as you thought it would?

Listen, I died on some weird hills last year (the love interest’s mom needs more of a backstory!!!!), so any response is a good response. I guess I was secretly hoping your hair never falls would usher in an era of camilla/nona fics bc i was certain it was going to be a thing, but the book came out and crushed those dreams. I still maintain nona had a crush on cam!!

7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would?

바늘 구멍으로 하늘 보기 because as I mentioned above, it was a character centric fic focused on a minor character. glad the kyoshi novels fandom appreciates milfs!

8. What was your favorite fic you wrote from 2022?

This is turning into a whole arc. I love the nona fic dearly, it makes me happy every time i read it, but im so proud i pulled off that hei-ran fic. Writing a character arc is not easy or as instantly gratifying as making two characters kiss. I knew I was pouring my heart (research into ancient Korean tea ceremonies for half a scene! Politics! Asking @funnefatale to bug fandom friends for Korean sayings for me!) into a work that simply might not be received. Also, I finally came out to my mom around the time i was writing this for unrelated reasons, and this fic reminds me of that 💕

9. What was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?

by land, by sea, by dirigible, @firstelevens' amazing c&d/tfatws fic which gave me everything i needed for BOTH shows. A two for one, can you believe!!

falling (for you) like snow on christmas, a warrior nun ava/bea hallmark au. I watched a lot of hallmark type christmas movies last year, and this fic delivered on the coziness these movies provide and the chemistry they usually don't. Also, it relased daily during the week leading up to christmas, corresponding to the days in the chapters, which was super fun to experience in real time.

10. Tag your friends to do this year-end fic review as well!

@funnefatale @isabrella and anyone else who wants to do this meme!

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

Hi friend, Its been a while.

I hope you're doing well, its been a while since i wrote to you. Whatcha say? Its been since 2014? Damn it really has been a while. i guess if im being completely honest....its because i got off of tumblr and forgot about this page until i logged back into it to get my writing from highschool. Wow its been since highschool hasnt it? Well for a while there i did  get alot better. i found a groupf of friends i absolutely loved and some of them have even lasted to my mid 20s. But right now i feel like im losing myslef again. and i hate to be the person to only send in a letter to you when i am not feeling myself and when i am getting bad agian. But i am actually reading the perks of being a wallflower which reminded me about tumblr and then when i saw this page i couldnt help myself but to send in a letter. Being an adult is hard friend. harder then i thought at 16-19 when i thought i was becoming an adult by the age of 20 bc it didnt have the teen in it. truthfully i dont know what im doing in life as an adult. I am a kindergarten special ed teacher aid and its been fantastic learning how the other side of it works...But it also been HARD. Its such a hard career and i never picture myself as a specail ed teacher rather then a gen ed teacher but here i am.I been winging it daily because even when i ask for training no one helps.im stress as all fucks becasue i knew teachers didnt make alot BUT I AM MAKING SO LITTLE AT THIS JOB, i was part time at my preschool i was working at before this and was making more each check, my therapist asked me if i regretted leaving and honestly i dont know.but its been stuck in my head since. I do have this amazing boyfriend who supports me in every decsion and loves me to death and i love him we known each other for 10 years just about and we started dating 5 months ago. but sometimes i think my ex bf before this relationship really fucked me up with relationships. I love him and i know he loves me but i question alot like if he actually does love me. which sucks because i wish my brain could realize he does. im exhausted physically and mentally I have a support system and theyve been helping me...but its not enough to feel like i was before i dated him. my ex. and its not enough to help with the constant panic attacks i have again..I been doing so well too.....I got a psych doctor so i can possibly get on medication something i thought i never needed. im just lost at this point and dont know what to do but this is long enough so friend thank you for listening to my rant. i think i might start writing to you again, youve helped me at the worst of times in highschool and i thank you for that and thank you for being there for ppl so they can get things off there chest. btw im going to my dads 3rd wedding next month and thats wild.

Love your friend,

erindinosaur16

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

“Elliot Page doesn’t remember exactly how long he had been asking.

But he does remember the acute feeling of triumph when, around age 9, he was finally allowed to cut his hair short. “I felt like a boy,” Page says. “I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my mom if I could be someday.” Growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Page visualized himself as a boy in imaginary games, freed from the discomfort of how other people saw him: as a girl. After the haircut, strangers finally started perceiving him the way he saw himself, and it felt both right and exciting.

The joy was short-lived. Months later, Page got his first break, landing a part as a daughter in a Canadian mining family in the TV movie Pit Pony. He wore a wig for the film, and when Pit Pony became a TV show, he grew his hair out again. “I became a professional actor at the age of 10,” Page says. And pursuing that passion came with a difficult compromise. “Of course I had to look a certain way.”

We are speaking in late February. It is the first interview Page, 34, has given since disclosing in December that he is transgender, in a heartfelt letter posted to Instagram, and he is crying before I have even uttered a question. “Sorry, I’m going to be emotional, but that’s cool, right?” he says, smiling through his tears.

It’s hard for him to talk about the days that led up to that disclosure. When I ask how he was feeling, he looks away, his neck exposed by a new short haircut. After a pause, he presses his hand to his heart and closes his eyes. “This feeling of true excitement and deep gratitude to have made it to this point in my life,” he says, “mixed with a lot of fear and anxiety.”

It’s not hard to understand why a trans person would be dealing with conflicting feelings in this moment. Increased social acceptance has led to more young people describing themselves as trans—1.8% of Gen Z compared with 0.2% of boomers, according to a recent Gallup poll—yet this has fueled conservatives who are stoking fears about a “transgender craze.” President Joe Biden has restored the right of transgender military members to serve openly, and in Hollywood, trans people have never had more meaningful time onscreen. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling is leveraging her cultural capital to oppose transgender equality in the name of feminism, and lawmakers are arguing in the halls of Congress over the validity of gender identities. “Sex has become a political football in the culture wars,” says Chase Strangio, deputy director for transgender justice at the ACLU.

(Full article with photos continued under the “read more”)

And so Page—who charmed America as a precocious pregnant teenager in Juno, constructed dreamscapes in Inception and now stars in Netflix’s hit superhero show The Umbrella Academy, the third season of which he’s filming in Toronto—expected that his news would be met with both applause and vitriol. “What I was anticipating was a lot of support and love and a massive amount of hatred and transphobia,” says Page. “That’s essentially what happened.” What he did not anticipate was just how big this story would be. Page’s announcement, which made him one of the most famous out trans people in the world, started trending on Twitter in more than 20 countries. He gained more than 400,000 new followers on Instagram on that day alone. Thousands of articles were published. Likes and shares reached the millions. Right-wing podcasters readied their rhetoric about “women in men’s locker rooms.” Casting directors reached out to Page’s manager saying it would be an honor to cast Page in their next big movie.

So, it was a lot. Over the course of two conversations, Page will say that understanding himself in all the specifics remains a work in progress. Fathoming one’s gender, an identity innate and performed, personal and social, fixed and evolving, is complicated enough without being under a spotlight that never seems to turn off. But having arrived at a critical juncture, Page feels a deep sense of responsibility to share his truth. “Extremely influential people are spreading these myths and damaging rhetoric—every day you’re seeing our existence debated,” Page says. “Transgender people are so very real.”

That role in Pit Pony led to other productions and eventually, when Page was 16, to a film called Mouth to Mouth. Playing a young anarchist, Page had a chance to cut his hair again. This time, he shaved it off completely. The kids at his high school teased him, but in photos he has posted from that time on social media he looks at ease. Page’s head was still shaved when he mailed in an audition tape for the 2005 thriller Hard Candy. The people in charge of casting asked him to audition again in a wig. Soon, the hair was back.

Page’s tour de force performance in Hard Candy led, two years later, to Juno, a low-budget indie film that brought Page Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe nominations and sudden megafame. The actor, then 21, struggled with the stresses of that ascension. The endless primping, red carpets and magazine spreads were all agonizing reminders of the disconnect between how the world saw Page and who he knew himself to be. “I just never recognized myself,” Page says. “For a long time I could not even look at a photo of myself.” It was difficult to watch the movies too, especially ones in which he played more feminine roles.

Page loved making movies, but he also felt alienated by Hollywood and its standards. Alia Shawkat, a close friend and co-star in 2009’s Whip It,describes all the attention from Juno as scarring. “He had a really hard time with the press and expectations,” Shawkat says. “‘Put this on! And look this way! And this is sexy!’”

By the time he appeared in blockbusters like X-Men: The Last Stand and Inception, Page was suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. He didn’t know, he says, “how to explain to people that even though [I was] an actor, just putting on a T-shirt cut for a woman would make me so unwell.” Shawkat recalls Page’s struggles with clothes. “I’d be like, ‘Hey, look at all these nice outfits you’re getting,’ and he would say, ‘It’s not me. It feels like a costume,’” she says. Page tried to convince himself that he was fine, that someone who was fortunate enough to have made it shouldn’t have complaints. But he felt exhausted by the work required to “just exist,” and thought more than once about quitting acting.

In 2014, Page came out as gay, despite feeling for years that “being out was impossible” given his career. (Gender identity and sexual orientation are, of course, distinct, but one queer identity can coexist with another.) In an emotional speech at a Human Rights Campaign conference, Page talked about being part of an industry “that places crushing standards” on actors and viewers alike. “There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity that define how we’re all supposed to act, dress and speak,” Page went on. “And they serve no one.”

The actor started wearing suits on the red carpet. He found love, marrying choreographer Emma Portner in 2018. He asserted more agency in his career, producing his own films with LGBTQ leads like Freeheld and My Days of Mercy. And he made a masculine wardrobe a condition of taking roles. Yet the daily discord was becoming unbearable. “The difference in how I felt before coming out as gay to after was massive,” says Page. “But did the discomfort in my body ever go away? No, no, no, no.”

In part, it was the isolation forced by the pandemic that brought to a head Page’s wrestling with gender. (Page and Portner separated last summer, and the two divorced in early 2021. “We’ve remained close friends,” Page says.) “I had a lot of time on my own to really focus on things that I think, in so many ways, unconsciously, I was avoiding,” he says. He was inspired by trailblazing trans icons like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox, who found success in Hollywood while living authentically. Trans writers helped him understand his feelings; Page saw himself reflected in P. Carl’s memoir Becoming a Man. Eventually “shame and discomfort” gave way to revelation. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” Page says, “and letting myself fully become who I am.”

This led to a series of decisions. One was asking the world to call him by a different name, Elliot, which he says he’s always liked. Page has a tattoo that says E.P. PHONE HOME, a reference to a movie about a young boy with that name. “I loved E.T. when I was a kid and always wanted to look like the boys in the movies, right?” he says. The other decision was to use different pronouns—for the record, both he/him and they/them are fine. (When I ask if he has a preference on pronouns for the purposes of this story, Page says, “He/him is great.”)

A day before we first speak, Page will talk to his mom about this interview and she will tell him, “I’m just so proud of my son.” He grows emotional relating this and tries to explain that his mom, the daughter of a minister, who was born in the 1950s, was always trying to do what she thought was best for her child, even if that meant encouraging young Page to act like a girl. “She wants me to be who I am and supports me fully,” Page says. “It is a testament to how people really change.”

Another decision was to get top surgery. Page volunteers this information early in our conversation; at the time he posted his disclosure on Instagram, he was recovering in Toronto. Like many trans people, Page emphasizes being trans isn’t all about surgery. For some people, it’s unnecessary. For others, it’s unaffordable. For the wider world, the media’s focus on it has sensationalized transgender bodies, inviting invasive and inappropriate questions. But Page describes surgery as something that, for him, has made it possible to finally recognize himself when he looks in the mirror, providing catharsis he’s been waiting for since the “total hell” of puberty. “It has completely transformed my life,” he says. So much of his energy was spent on being uncomfortable in his body, he says. Now he has that energy back.

For the transgender community at large, visibility does not automatically lead to acceptance. Around the globe, transgender people deal disproportionately with violence and discrimination. Anti-trans hate crimes are on the rise in the U.K. along with increasingly transphobic rhetoric in newspapers and tabloids. In the U.S., in addition to the perennial challenges trans people face with issues like poverty and homelessness, a flurry of bills in state legislatures would make it a crime to provide transition-related medical care to trans youth. And crass old jokes are still in circulation. When Biden lifted the ban on open service for transgender troops, Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che did a bit on Weekend Update about the policy being called “don’t ask, don’t tuck.”

Page says coming out as trans was “selfish” on one level: “It’s for me. I want to live and be who I am.” But he also felt a moral imperative to do so, given the times. Human identity is complicated and mysterious, but politics insists on fitting everything into boxes. In today’s culture wars, simplistic beliefs about gender—e.g., chromosomes = destiny—are so widespread and so deep-seated that many people who hold those beliefs don’t feel compelled to consider whether they might be incomplete or prejudiced. On Feb. 24, after a passionate debate on legislation that would ban discrimination against LGBTQ people, Representative Marie Newman, an Illinois Democrat, proudly displayed the pride flag in support of her daughter, who is trans. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican, responded by hanging a poster outside her office that read: There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE.

The next day Dr. Rachel Levine, who stands to become the first openly transgender federal official confirmed by the Senate, endured a tirade from Senator Rand Paul about “genital mutilation” during her confirmation hearing. My second conversation with Page happens shortly after this. He brings it up almost immediately, and seems both heartbroken and determined. He wants to emphasize that top surgery, for him, was “not only life-changing but lifesaving.” He implores people to educate themselves about trans lives, to learn how crucial medical care can be, to understand that lack of access to it is one of the many reasons that an estimated 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to one survey.

Page has been in the political trenches for a while, having leaned into progressive activism after coming out as queer in 2014. For two seasons, he and best friend Ian Daniel filmed Gaycation, a Viceland series that explored LGBTQ culture around the world and, at one point, showed Page grilling Senator Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair about discrimination against queer people. In 2019, Page made a documentary called There’s Something in the Water, which explores environmental hardships experienced by communities of color in Nova Scotia, with $350,000 of his own money. That activism extends to his own industry: in 2017, he published a Facebook post that, among other things, accused director Brett Ratner of forcibly outing him as gay on the set of an X-Men movie. (A representative for Ratner did not respond to a request for comment.)

As a trans person who is white, wealthy and famous, Page has a unique kind of privilege, and with it an opportunity to advocate for those with less. According to the U.S. Trans Survey, a large-scale report from 2015, transgender people of color are more likely to experience unemployment, harassment by police and refusals of medical care. Nearly half of all Black respondents reported being denied equal treatment, verbally harassed and/or physically attacked in the past year. Trans people as a group fare much worse on such stats than the general population. “My privilege has allowed me to have resources to get through and to be where I am today,” Page says, “and of course I want to use that privilege and platform to help in the ways I can.”

Since his disclosure, Page has been mostly quiet on social media. One exception has been to tweet on behalf of the ACLU, which is in the midst of fighting anti-trans bills and laws around the country, including those that ban transgender girls and women from participating in sports. Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves says he will sign such a bill in the name of “protect[ing] young girls.” Page played competitive soccer and vividly recalls the agony of being told he would have to play on the girls’ team once he aged out of mixed-gender squads. After an appeal, Page was allowed to play with the boys for an additional year. Today, several bills list genitalia as a requirement for deciding who plays on which team. “I would have been in that position as a kid,” Page says. “It’s horrific.”

All this advocacy is unlikely to make life easier. “You can’t enter into certain spaces as a public trans person,” says the ACLU’s Strangio, “without being prepared to spend some percentage of your life being threatened and harassed.” Yet, while he seems overwhelmed at times, Page is also eager. Many of the political attacks on trans people—whether it is a mandate that bathroom use be determined by birth sex, a blanket ban on medical interventions for trans kids or the suggestion that trans men are simply wayward women beguiled by male privilege—carry the same subtext: that trans people are mistaken about who they are. “We know who we are,” Page says. “People cling to these firm ideas [about gender] because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.”

Even if Page weren’t vocal, his public presence would communicate something powerful. That is in part because of what Paisley Currah, a professor of political science at Brooklyn College, calls “visibility gaps.” Historically, trans women have been more visible, in culture and in Hollywood, than trans men. There are many explanations: Our culture is obsessed with femininity. Men’s bodies are less policed and scrutinized. Patriarchal people tend to get more emotional about who is considered to be in the same category as their daughters. “And a lot of trans men don’t stand out as trans,” says Currah, who is a trans man himself. “I think we’ve taken up less of the public’s attention because masculinity is sort of the norm.”

During our interviews, Page will repeatedly refer to himself as a “transgender guy.” He also calls himself nonbinary and queer, but for him, transmasculinity is at the center of the conversation right now. “It’s a complicated journey,” he says, “and an ongoing process.”

While the visibility gap means that trans men have been spared some of the hate endured by trans women, it has also meant that people like Page have had fewer models. “There were no examples,” Page says of growing up in Halifax in the 1990s. There are many queer people who have felt “that how they feel deep inside isn’t a real thing because they never saw it reflected back to them,” says Tiq Milan, an activist, author and transgender man. Page offers a reflection: “They can see that and say, ‘You know what, that’s who I am too,’” Milan says. When there aren’t examples, he says, “people make monsters of us.”

For decades, that was something Hollywood did. As detailed in the 2020 Netflix documentary Disclosure, transgender people have been portrayed onscreen as villainous and deceitful, tragic subplots or the butt of jokes. In a sign of just how far the industry has come—spurred on by productions like Pose and trailblazers like Mock—Netflix offered to change the credits on The Umbrella Academy the same day that its star posted his statement on social media. Now when an episode ends, the first words viewers see are “Elliot Page.”

Today, there are many out trans and nonbinary actors, directors and producers. Storylines involving trans people are more common, more respectful. Sometimes that aspect of identity is even incidental, rather than the crux of a morality tale. And yet Hollywood can still seem a frightening place for LGBTQ people to come out. “It’s an industry that says, ‘Don’t do that,’” says director Silas Howard, who got his break on Amazon’s show Transparent, which made efforts to hire transgender crew members. “I wouldn’t have been hired if they didn’t have a trans initiative,” Howard says. “I’m always aware of that.”

So what will it mean for Page’s career? While Page has appeared in many projects, he also faced challenges landing female leads because he didn’t fit Hollywood’s narrow mold. Since Page’s Instagram post, his team is seeing more activity than they have in years. Many of the offers coming in—to direct, to produce, to act—are trans-related, but there are also some “dude roles.”

Downtime in quarantine helped Page accept his gender identity. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” he says.

Page was attracted to the role of Vanya in The Umbrella Academy because—in the first season, released in 2019—Vanya is crushed by self-loathing, believing herself to be the only ordinary sibling in an extraordinary family. The character can barely summon the courage to move through the world. “I related to how much Vanya was closed off,” Page says. Now on set filming the third season, co-workers have seen a change in the actor. “It seems like there’s a tremendous weight off his shoulders, a feeling of comfort,” says showrunner Steve Blackman. “There’s a lightness, a lot more smiling.” For Page, returning to set has been validating, if awkward at times. Yes, people accidentally use the wrong pronouns—“It’s going to be an adjustment,” Page says—but co-workers also see and acknowledge him.

The debate over whether cisgender people, who have repeatedly collected awards for playing trans characters, should continue to do so has largely been settled. However, trans actors have rarely been considered for cisgender parts. Whatever challenges might lie ahead, Page seems exuberant about playing a new spectrum of roles. “I’m really excited to act, now that I’m fully who I am, in this body,” Page says. “No matter the challenges and difficult moments of this, nothing amounts to getting to feel how I feel now.”

This includes having short hair again. During our interview, Page keeps rearranging strands on his forehead. It took a long time for him to return to the barber’s chair and ask to cut it short, but he got there. And how did that haircut feel?

Page tears up again, then smiles. “I just could not have enjoyed it more,” he says.”

[old-fanfiction]

I SAW CHILDE MC WHAT ABOUT TEEN MC LIKE 14-17 HABDBNSNTNWN

Brothers with a Teen/Gen Z MC

☆

I was both cringing and dying of laughter while writing this.

My Gen Z ass loves making fun of myself and referencing shitty tik toks

Someone save me

☆

Lucifer

Wtf is this hormonal little shit?

Why does this little guy keep on making jokes about how he "always thought he was gonna end up in hell"?

Like, Lucifer is so confused.

Either you get stressed out over your work and he gets stressed out trying to help you, or he freaks out because you're not doing your work.

Legit starts reading teen parenting advice books, because, like, why are you making joke about crying in the bathroom daily?

Should he be worried?

What's with the dead jokes? Did your grandmother ACTUALLY get run over by a reindeer?

Wtf is the ghetto? Ra ta ta ta ta ta?

He gets it. You have mental issues, and apparently he does too omfg—

Lucifer's weakness is gen z humor. It just fucking confuses him.

Mammon

Mammon and you just fucking vibe together, let's be honest.

Like, he doesn't know what the actual fuck you are referencing, last he checked frogs weren't gay, but you're cool and ready to body slam a bitch so it's fine.

You two get in so much trouble i swear.

Like, he'll egg your anxious little ass on.

Yes. YES. You two WILL commit arson.

Levi

Literally understands every fucking reference you make. It's amazing.

You two can talk about memes for hours and everyone at the dinner table is silent as you throw insults back and forth (that don't make sense to them, because what is a "karen").

You two are just chaos. Glorious chaos.

Asmo

Oh boyyyyyyyy

He tries to understand but just can't get with the humor.

Lots of awkward, tense laughing.

Legit gives you a lecture every time a self deprecating joke is made. Sorta reminds you of Lucifer...

He just makes sure to take care of yourself and, once he understands its a coping mechanism and all jokes, he makes sure that they stay jokes.

Satan

He is surprisingly knowledgeable in this kind of humor, but he can't really play along too well.

Like, he understands the jokes and the memes but he doesn't know what topics to bring up and what things to reference.

He's tried.

Beel

Shares the love of food/makes sure you actually eat.

Will joke with you about food and consumption of said food all day, but if you DARE call yourself fat he is on your ass in seconds.

Food is good.

Food is life.

Eat.

Motherfucker.

Belphie

This bitch IS gen z.

The fucking ~~definition~~ of gen z.

He's get the large amount of sleep, eating, and self deprecating jokes down to a T.

You two are actually best friends despite the fact he tried to kill you.

[asset35-maya]

CALYPSO 🐚 ☕️

Part 1 & Part 2

Part 3/3:

Nines froze as the human’s body melded to his. Gavin kept his eyes shut and his lips moving. Then what he’d been bracing for finally came.

Pain.

Sweet glorious pain, blossoming everywhere Nines gripped his body. Gavin was sure that his lips would bruise under the pressure of the reciprocal kiss… that his rib cage would shatter if Nines held him any tighter… that his lungs would burst if they didn’t fill with air soon…

A wolf-whistle broke through the stunned silence in the yard.

Gavin pulled back, light-headed from the rush of oxygen and drain of adrenaline. He didn’t fall though. Didn’t even move an inch. Strong arms and a heated gaze kept him pinned.

//

\\

“Of all the things in the world… why coffee?”

“I could ask you the same.”

Gavin tucked his head into the crook of Nines’ neck, cuddling closer.

“Hmm… I think weird working hours made me actually need the caffeine… but the bean snobbery just came with the rest of my superiority complexes.”

Nines laughed. It was more of an exhale than an actual laugh, but Gavin was thankful for it nonetheless.

“And you?”

Nines kissed his forehead, prolonging his answer as much as he could before finally relenting with a sigh.

“The reason you’re asking… is because running a café is just about the last thing you’d expect an android like me to be doing. And… that’s your answer. That’s exactly why I wanted it.”

“To subvert expectations…?”

“To not be the terrible thing I was meant to be.”

Gavin’s breath hitched at the depth of emotion in Nines’ voice. He didn’t dare look up to meet his eye and settled for pressing his lips to the razor-sharp jawline.

“I dunno what kinda code runs through you, but believe me when I say you don’t have it in you to be… terrible.”

Nines scoffed at that.

“How can you say that after all the shit you’ve seen me do.”

“I can say that after all the shit I’ve seen others do. Fifteen years on the job, remember? I can vouch that righteous anger is one of the least terrible things out there.”

When Nines didn’t respond, Gavin decided to move the ship out of uncharted waters. He propped himself up on an elbow and ran a hand down the android’s smooth chest.

“In fact, I think it’s downright sexy.”

That did the trick. Nines pressed Gavin into the mattress with a low growl and rolled over him, clamping his mouth over his throat. Their hips aligned and the conversation ended.

//

\\

“Ralph tried hard but the machine is not working. Ralph is stuck.”

“Move. Let me see.”

Gavin took the filter holder and disconnected it from the espresso machine with a firm tug. He leapt away in shock as water came rushing out. That was absolutely not supposed to happen.

“Er… I’ll get a mechanic friend to take a look later. Why don’t you go check on inventory?”

Ralph shuffled away with a thoroughly sceptical look in his eye. Gavin sighed openly once the android was out of earshot.

The café was in shambles.

The vandals may have gotten as good as they gave… but they’d left their mark. Even with insurance, there was no way such a new establishment could financially recover from a setback like that.

Nines said nothing but seethed with his usual brand of silent, impotent rage.

Unable to bear the slammed car doors and dismissive grunts any longer, Gavin had taken a solo day off to come down to the Calypso and see what could be done.

Not much, without a boatload of money, it seemed.

He sat down with a sigh and Ralph brought over a cup of coffee. Black. A pour-over. He set a bowl of runny eggs and a small basket of bread down on the table too.

Gavin looked up in surprise. Ralph shrugged.

“Nines is telling Ralph that you left without breakfast. Ralph’s equipment is all broken so Ralph just made something simple.”

Touched beyond words, Gavin motioned for Ralph to sit down with him instead of scurrying off into the shadows as per his usual habit.

He took a sip of the hand-poured drip coffee and broke a piece of the bread, dragging it through the eggs, European style. It was utterly homely and reminded of him of some bygone era that he’d needlessly bypassed. He looked up and met Ralph’s mildly unsettling stare.

“So… why the name Calypso? There’s nothing beach-themed or Caribbean about the place.”

“Nines chose it. After the Greek goddess.”

“Huh. And she was the goddess of coffee? Did they even have coffee back in those Hercules Orgy Olympics days?”

“She is a sea nymph. She detained the mythic hero Odysseus on her island for seven years.”

Gavin’s brows furrowed as he swallowed a mouthful of fresh bread.

“Did you bake this?”

“Yes. Ralph is baking daily. Ralph does it first thing in the morning at five. It is very calming to knead the dough and hear the birdsong.”

“It’s phcking delicious. Leavened perfectly. Now back to the name. This goddess nymph creature. She doesn’t sound very nice. She trapped this hero dude, right? Reminds me of my ex. Why name this pretty café after her?”

“Ralph can only imagine that Nines’ fascination with Calypso is the ambiguity of her nature. She can seduce and manipulate, but she can also heal. She is neither good nor evil.”

Gavin drained his coffee and sank back in his chair contemplatively.

“What do you think she is, Ralph?”

Ralph’s LED flickered and his eyes dipped to the table. He knew what Gavin was asking.

“Calypso is immortal. Calypso cannot help but fall in love with every sailor who lands on her shores. Calypso dreams of an eternal husband but lets Odysseus go when it’s clear he wishes to return to his wife. Well, maybe only when the Gods commands her to… but she releases him without harm!”

Gavin waited. Ralph’s head snapped up and he spoke in a short burst.

“Calypso is mythical. It does not matter what she is. Nines is real. Nines is good. Very good. Honest and honourable! Ralph will do anything for Nines!”

Gavin leaned back in his chair with the satisfied smile of an experienced police negotiator who’d gotten exactly where he wanted to.

//

\\

“What the hell is this? Where did you get so much money from?”

Nines’ amber LED cycled furiously as he took in the sight of the restored café. Ralph was humming to himself as he proudly polished the knobs of their repaired espresso machine.

Gavin led Nines by the hand to look at the repainted walls… the new furniture… the new crockery replacing what had been smashed…

“How…?”

“Oh I just embodied my inner Gen Z and tapped into the power of social justice.”

Nines looked thoroughly nonplussed.

“Crowdfunding, baby. I set up a link and Ralph told everyone on Twitter what happened to him and the café. Well, showed them, more like.”

Nines looked up at the ceiling and his LED slowly returned to a calm blue as he understood… but when he looked back down, his expression wasn’t any less troubled.

“Okay I just saw it. Edited footage from his optical units and a tearful testimonial. Ethically questionable, but clever.”

“Super effective. We overshot our target by a couple hundred bucks.”

“Hmm. People are kind.”

“Yes. They’ve actually done more for you. Look. Connor gave me this earlier today.”

Gavin reached into his jacket and produced an envelope. Nines’ eyes widened as he spotted the official seals of the Mayor’s office, the Manfred Estate and New Jericho.

“Someone started a petition… to let you back behind the helm of the Calypso. It really took off. I don’t know how you didn’t hear-”

“I muted any mentions of myself and the other RKs from showing up in my newsfeed.”

“Then this makes for a good surprise.”

Gavin gently pushed the envelope into the android’s hands and watched him open it with a precise fingernail flicked under the wax. He scanned the contents of the letter in a split second and let it fall through his fingers.

Without warning, he scooped Gavin up and set him down on a polished table for a deep kiss of even deeper gratitude. Ralph turned his back on them with a bashful giggle.

//

\\

“Baby.”

Nines didn’t respond.

“Hey baby?”

“Hmm...”

There was an intensity to the grumble that had Gavin second-guessing whether to persist. Being Nines’ lover didn’t exempt him from the consequences of asking stupid questions.

“Your thoughts are fucking loud. Just say whatever you want to.”

“Oh. Um… I was actually wondering… I mean, you don’t have to tell me… but like why… um…”

“Why haven’t I turned my badge in yet?”

“Yeah…”

Nines turned on his side and brushed the back of his hand over Gavin’s cheek. The intimate gesture sent a thrill through the human despite how much more intimate they’d just been in the recent past.

“Because I haven’t decided what to do next.”

Gavin’s brows knitted together.

“What do you mean? Aren’t you going to take back your business?”

Nines’ wan smile told him all he needed to know.

“Why?”

“It’s doing really well in Ralph’s hands. He’s capable. He’s creative. And I don’t think it’s fair for me to go back and get in his way all of a sudden.”

“He needs you.”

“He absolutely doesn’t. It’s his café. You helped him get back on his feet and he’s going to be fiiiiine without me.”

“Is it because you don’t wanna be her anymore?”

Nines scrunched his nose up in confusion.

“Who?”

“Calypso. The siren who trapped the Oddball.”

That earned Gavin a heartfelt laugh.

“Odysseus, Gavin.”

“Yeah. You were like Calypso and now you’re letting go of the coffeeshop because you figured it wasn’t meant to be!”

Nines frowned and pretended to check the human for a temperature. Gavin swatted his hands away with mock petulance.

“Fine, I’m probably way off the mark. You tell me what the deal is then!”

Arms snaked around his waist and pulled him flush against the android’s defined chest. Lips brushed the shell of his ear and when Nines spoke next, it was in the huskiest of undertones.

“I’m Odysseus. Not Calypso.”

The realisation was painfully obvious in hindsight.

“I’m the one who’s stuck on an endless journey home. I’ve faced a hundred artificial trials and tribulations. I’ve been a puppet at the hands of false gods. I answer existential questions to prove my self-worth every single day.”

Nines paused to gauge Gavin’s reaction. When he received none, he pressed a brief kiss to the human’s bare shoulder before continuing.

“It’s been a long journey. But not a pointless one. Every metaphorical island I’ve visited has granted me something. From literally running into Ralph in an old building… to defending our turf from other stray androids… getting ourselves off the street… setting up a café from scratch… being arrested on opening day… ending up on the police force with you…”

Gavin recognised that as his cue to squirm around in Nines’ arms and peck him on the lips.

“So who’s Cyclops?”

“What?”

“The story’s starting to come back to me now. Your boy Oddy fought a one-eyed monster on one of the islands he went to. Who’s the Cyclops in your story?”

Nines huffed another breathy laugh.

“Markus, probably. Connor is definitely Helios.”

“Who’s your wife?”

“Definitely not you.”

Gavin elbowed him in the ribs. An action that had more repercussions on him than Nines.

“So which island are you off to next?”

“I have no idea. But it doesn’t matter. I might already be home.”

[nikatyler]

𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ✨

I wasn’t going to post this yet, in fact, at first I wanted to keep it a secret until these guys are born in the rebooted Raven Legacy, but I couldn’t resist. Thought you’d never see them again, huh?

Zoey and Isaac’s children. 2017//2021. I always say my sims style doesn’t change at all (also, hooray same face syndrome), but it has changed, even if just a little bit.

Anyway, let me introduce you to these guys again, tell you what’s the same and what has changed. And yes I have classes tomorrow, but I also drank too much coffee today so I won’t be able to fall asleep for a while, let’s do this.

𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆 𝑳𝒚𝒏𝒏 𝑹𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

The main star, heir of gen 3 ✨

Fellow bi 👉😎👉

Walking stereotype but in a good way. We don’t do the harmful biphobic stereotypes here. (We did them accidentally without realizing we’re falling into a stereotype *cough* Ross dating a million people *cough* but we’re careful now. Why am I talking about myself in plural. But also the reason why Ross dated a million people didn’t come from the fact he’s bi at all, he was just a dick in high school. I didn’t connect those two things in my head.)

More piercings?? I kinda want to give her more piercings

And tattoos! She used to have some small ones, but I have since then deleted the files 🙃

Named after her grandma (Lynn) and great-grandma (Carrie)

She didn’t (and couldn’t) meet either of them...if you know, you know

Probably isn’t going to end up with Chris eventually, sorry Chris, you won’t even exist in the reboot

It’s not Carrie. It’s not Lynn. Use both her names or die. (Her words, not mine.)

Plays a violin. Terribly. On purpose. She’s actually really good though.

She was an entertainer originally but I think that when/if we get to her this time, I’ll try a newer career with her. Maybe I’ll want your input on that later.

She would be such great friends with Tyler. I’m so sad they couldn’t ever meet. She’d 100% be his favourite niece.

*takes notes to mayhaps make that possible in the reboot*

No, she won’t take off the hat

𝑨𝒏 𝑹𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

They/he

Originally, four years ago, I wanted them to be a trans guy, but I chickened out of it in the last minute because I was worried someone would say he doesn’t look trans enough...I’m sorry about thinking that way. I have learned since then.

He’s using they/he in this version to kinda reflect both who I originally wanted them to be in the legacy and who they were, if that makes any sense.

(yes they’re the sim that was called Anastasia previously but they don’t use it anymore so forget it)

I don’t remember much about him from the original legacy. They liked pirates and worked for a charity shop or something like that? Their girlfriend was an adoptive daughter of Malcolm Landgraab and Caleb Vatore. (thanks MCCC, and yes Caleb really wants to be included in all my legacies in some way, it’s his only goal and purpose in life).

Really close with Carrie Lynn

I changed his skintone because no one in their family has it anymore. Elizabeth had it, but I changed it, so I changed An’s skin as well.

𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒚𝒂 𝑹𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

Originally, for some reason the game made her thicker than her siblings, and I’m thankful for that because knowing 2017 me I’d be too much of a coward to make a plus sized sim myself.

With that being said, cc creators, could you please make your necklaces work on bigger sims?

I changed her traits but I already don’t remember what I gave her. One of them was from Eco Living.

I remember I originally said something like “she wants to be an architect but she hates maths”. So now she wants to be an architect and she actually doesn’t struggle with maths at all because that makes more sense.

Is she a genius? Are you a genius, Freya? 🤔

I can’t tell you much about her tbh. I have no memory of her left. I even memorized her face wrong whoops.

Hey look it’s midnight and also this post is becoming a trainwreck yay

It’s now 0.30 when I’m rereading this. Yay tomorrow will be fun, I wanna get up at 6am

𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝑹𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

Yes it’s Faye but I changed her name and most of her appearance

It’s like when they replaced Flora with Terra in the terrible Winx live action. Minus whitewashing.

I now realize it’s really a Terra situation minus whitewashing here (what’s there to whitewash, Faye was already white), because I also made Frances a bit chubbier. Like they did with Flora/Terra.

(speaking of which I actually adjusted the bodies of all four of them)

I actually made her bit more tan than she used to be! Originally, all four kids took after Isaac, who is rather pale compared to Zoey. I also gave her Zoey’s eyecolour.

I really like the name Frances tbh

She kinda reminds me of that one girl from Mean Girls. Forgot her name. But you know the one.

“Hello LGBTQ community”

Yeah Faye/Frances has always given me big lesbian vibes so...

Again, I was a coward in 2017

She likes pink, sweets, cats and she’s lazy and that’s all I remember about her

We started this post with me saying “let me reintroduce you to these characters” but like to do that I’d have to actually still know something about them

Okay, so...the moral of this post is: don’t make posts when you’ve had too much coffee so you feel effects of that BUT at the same time you’re pretty tired already.

No, jokes aside, I’m really excited to explore these guys again someday.

Now I have to go do my daily writing because I forgot about it and I can’t skip a day and then I swear I’ll go to bed. Note to self, don’t drink that much coffee tomorrow.

[tsumusamu]

asks :D

sorry i took so long to answer these! i just put them in one post so i wouldn't spam too much

Um I read both your series recently and I just wanted to tell you omg I love them so much I couldn’t put down my phone I got so invested into it and if it’s not a bother if you could add me to the tag list for Amorentia and Call you mine🥺💜👉👈

of course! it’s not a bother! i’m happy to hear you’re enjoying the series! <3

hello, i just want to ask if you have any haikyuu fic recommendations (preferably abt bokuto or atsumu)? Or know any other acct/s that write them? im currently on a fic hunt and i just want some writing that’s as good as yours 🤧

hi there! honestly i havent read many haikyuu fics as of late but alkhale on ao3 is probably my favorite author of all time. they have explicit fics but their rated t fics are just as good. i admire them so much!!

I LOVE UR WRTING omgosh am looking forward to the next part of call you mine SO MUCH u have no idea !!! heheh take ur time will be patiently waitinggg <3 take care!!!

i’m so happy you like my writing it means so much! you take care as well ok <3

My emotions went everywhere!! can you add me to the Call you mine taglist please?😆

Of course!

Omg omg omg I really enjoyed the most recent chapter of ‘call you mine’!! I know you were stressed about writing/publishing it but GIRLL IT WAS AMAZING AND HEART-WRENCHING - and it was a great read! Keep up the awesome work, and I’m looking forward to seeing reader and Atsumu’s interactions in the future like UGH MY HEART. PLEASE, YOU LOVE BLINDED IDIOTS. Take care, lovely!! <3 stay healthy and get some good many hours of sleep! :)) 

GLAD THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!! yes i dont think it was my best work but i will do my best to keep writing in the future! they are such idiots that i felt myself cringing so hard while writing LOL </3 i will take care of myself and i hope you do too!!!

can I be tagged in the next update of Call you mine? 

yes!

you are such a talented writer and i just love “call you mine”. i saw that you apologised for making part 4 12k words long, but honestly write as much as you want to bc we all need as much of this series as we can get. (btw i saw that you said you don’t know when you’ll post the next update, but i kid you not when i say that i’ll check your blog daily to see if you’ve posted another part of the series and to check our your other content as well 🤭) 

YES HAHA sorry i do get really long winded sometimes hence the huge chapter that i posted a few weeks ago LOL the last chapter will be even longer so prepare for that....... sorry abt my inconsistency that i cant tell you when i’ll update next but thank you for being so patient and supportive!!

could i be added in the taglist of both atsumu fics 🥺

yup!

i am speed

and would love to be added to your general taglist whenever you update any of your fics!! thanks🤍

of course! <3

can i be tagged for the call you mine 🥺 

yes i’ll tag you :)

i’m in love with the hogwarts haikyuu au! i think it’s an amazing idea that needs more stories

ME TOO ANY HOGWARTS AU HAS ME GOING INSANE I THINK IT’S ONE OF THE MOST ENTERTAINING AUS TO BOTH READ AND WRITE. i will definitely be writing more hogwarts haikyuu in the future!!

i forgot to add to that last post that what you’re writing is wonderful and amazing and can’t wait for part 4!

thank you so much for your support!

call you mine is such a masterpiece, you’re such an amazing fucking writer (like the plot and everything???? GENIUS) and i can’t wait for the next update sndnkejdh 

AHHH ANON thank you im so happy that you liked call you mine uiefdiasifua im currently working on the update rn thanks for being patient!!

Hi i was the ao3 reader who discovered you and wanted to drop by and say i am sooo excited to read your latest chapter!!! i also wanted to say I love LOVE major love your hogwarts au fic! idk if you know james potter but you probably do seeing as you made an au but atsumu reminds me soo much of young james potter!! i read some fics of james potter and i find him and atsumu so alike in a a way i would love if you could do more takes on your hogwartsau!!! i could send you the links if you want!!

OMGJOIJAI I hadnt even thought of it that way?? now that you mention it james and atsumu in my story do seem to have some similarities but i hope i didnt make atsumu too much of a dickhead D: i will definitely be writing more for hogwarts haikyuu!

can i mayhap get added to your general taglist? your writing is AMAZING, never fails to send me into the stratosphere from how good it is.

sure thing! i’m happy you’re enjoying my work thank you for your message <3 pls dont stay too long in the stratosphere though it’s kinda hard to breathe up there LOL

hiii!!! can you please add me to call you mine taglist?? 

for sure!

IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 5 OF CALL U MINE AHHHHHHHHH

I HOPE IT WILL LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS!!

Hello!!! Can I please be added to the Amortentia and Call you Mine taglist please? ❤️❤️ I think about them all the time, Atsumu brain rot for life!

Also super hyped for your upcoming Osamu fic! You’re amazing, I hope you’re not too stressed! Stay hydrated and get enough sleep you wonderful human being ✨✨✨❤️❤️

YES OF COURSE U CAN AND ATSUMU BRAINROT FOR ME 24/7 AS WELL. i hope i’ll be able to finish that osamu fic soon aaa thank you for being patient <3 please take care of yourself as well!

Will ch.5 be the last chapter of Call You Mine?

yes!

i just wanna say 'call you mine' is 10/10. your writing? *french kiss* i love how you go into detail - we see both atsumu's reader p.o.v - it gives depth to the characters! it's so realistic too. reader's hesitance is very valid - like how can you be sure of atsumu's feeling, when he's getting his dick wet everyday LOL! thank you for writing this, i am enjoying it so much! <3

HDSUUFHASUHF ANON PLS AHHH IM SO HAPPY THAT UR ENJOYING IT and also atsumu will get his dick wet one last time in the final part... u will see ;)

HELLO AMORTENTIA AND CALL YOU MINE ARE SO NICE im gonna cry my favorite tropes + one of them is a hogwarts!au + your writing 🥺❤️

HELLO HELLO THANK U FOR READING MY WORK!!!

i can’t wait for part 5 of call you mine. this series of yours is literally so GENIUS

i really hope that it will be satisfying!! thank you for your kind message!

I wanted to say that your writing is absolutely perfect. The way you capture these characters I’m truly speechless, and each chpt it just gets better and better 😭😭💛 could I ask to be added to the call you mine taglist? Truly, thank you for ur amazing writing !!!! 😭

AHHHH IM LITERALLY BLUSHING... THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS IM T___T yes of course you can be added to the taglist and thank you for reading my work!

ALSO YOUR TAKE ON TSUMU IS GOLDEN. IT IS CLASS. PERFECTION. GRACE. I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN. Anywayz CATCH ME CRYING OVER CALL YOU MINE TSUMU AND Y/N 🥲😭💛

PLS ATSUMU IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING MY TAKE ON HIM. IM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOURE ENJOYING THIS TSUMU. AND YES... CALL YOU MINE TSUMU AND Y/N LITERALLY DRIVE ME CRAZY THEY R SO DUMB BUT I CRY WHILE WRITING THEM

Hi there! I love your Call You Mine atsumu x reader fic so much, it’s so well written! Would it be possible for me to be added to the taglist please?

thank you! and yes you can be added!

hi, just caught up with call you mine! i know this might be an odd comment on it but i'm currently going through a similar situation with my best friend as reader is (gray area, we haven't talked in a while) and reading both of their perspectives really brought me comfort. anyway thank you for writing it :)

ooo wow :O i really hope the situation you’re in gets resolved soon im wishing you good luck!! im happy that my writing was able to give you comfort <3 thank you for reading and supporting my writing!

your video edits are just *chefs kiss* my friends and I have been laughing at them for days in our gc and have even inspired memes of our own 😅 hope to see more them, they’re too good istg sending you love from three art school kids from Europe 🥺💕✨

??!#())(!@ OMG HAHAHA i would love to see some of the memes you guys came up with LOL sending love right back at you <3

hi love !! can i be added your gen tag list if you have one?

yes, i’ll add you!

Hello! Sorry for the bother but I’m suck a HUGE fan of your smau! And I’m talking about “Call You Mine” it’s so good and depressing...but that isn’t the point! I know you are busy with something else but I would like to ask if it’s be alright if I made a small fic about that story? If not, that is completely fine and understandable!

Thank you for your time and cya next time!!

yup yup that series comes with an angst tag for a reason! you’re not being a bother don’t worry! i would prefer for no fics to be made based off of the story, i’m sorry :( but thank you for asking!

I just discovered your blog and I love your writing so much.

I was wondering if I could be added to the tag list for call you mine with atsumu x reader? This story hurts me so much and it's written so well.

Thank you and have a nice day 🧡

hi! thank you for supporting my writing! yes you can be added to the taglist and im sorry it hurts </333 hope you have a nice day too bb

When do you think the next part of amortentia will be up? It’s my favorite series 😫 (no rush though!!!!)

hmmm im really not sure unfortunately :(

Sorry to bother, but I literally went through every part of Call you Mine just now AND I LOVE EVERY BIT OF IT. Oh my goodness it hurts how much I love it. The friendship and the unspoken love for each other that leads to a long yearning for each other is literally my fanfic bread and butter. ITS SO DARN GOOD and I felt like I needed to tell you that. Anyways, I hope you are having an amazing week, you’re taking care of yourself, you’re safe and healthy! Thank you for what you do! 🤗

IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU LOVE IT. GENUINELY. KNOWING THAT PEOPLE ARE ENJOYING MY WORK MAKES ME SMILE SO BIG. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME YOUR THOUGHTS. please take care yourself as well, and thank you for your ask!

Hi! I recently saw your atsumu x reader fic on ao3 (Call you mine) and I haven't read it yet but I've seen others talk about it on tumblr so I was wondering if I could be added to a tag list for that fic (if you have one ofc). Feel free to ignore this ask if you don't have one or it's full!

yes i can add you the taglist! i hope you’ll enjoy the fic whenever you decide to read it! <3

[atimefordragons]

[ T S E S A R E V N A  ... ]

My incomplete audition for Gem Quest, didn’t have the time to participate properly, let alone finish my audition from all the other groups (yeah, I don’t know what time management is and have no idea how to pace myself). 

“В небе далеком горит звезда, | In distant heaven star shines Не одинока и не одна | It's not alone and not the one Каждый себе выбирает путь | Everyone choose their own way И она не даст свернуть | And star won't allow them to turn Не закрывай глаза | Don't close your eyes Смотри она ведет тебя.. | Look, it leads you...”

-  Звезда (Dima Bilan ft Anna Belan)

Real Name: Yekatrina “Katya/Rina” Anatolyevna Raevskaya

Age: 26

FC: Alia Bhatt

Species & Class: Dragonborn & Mage-Knight

Guild: Moonstone

Description of In-Game Powers: (what their fantasy species lets them do, basically, and all the associated drawbacks)

A dragonborn is a cross-bred species, born from the bloodline of either a human or an elf, and a Great Dragon (highly evolved, ancient dragons that can cast spells, and shit, and even speak the human tongue). Because great dragons are rare, most dragonborn are second generation or later. In the case of Tsesarevna, an ice dragon and a human (not a first gen).

Dragonborns have a natural affinity for magic, particularly elemental, even more specifically for the element of the dragon type whose blood they inherited, in the case of Tsesarevna, frozen water related magic, ice, frost, snow.

Place of Birth: Saint Petersburg, Russian Federation

Appearance: (optional textual description/notes of wardrobe, features not represented by fc, etc)

Places Most Likely to be Found In-Game: Level 20 - A Midwinter Night’s Dream (I see what you did there Ayz) and Level 38 - Murias Pass (the snow reminds her of home, ya know. The cold never bothered me anyway), also sometimes Level 39 - The Dragon, but she’s technically stuck on that level because she refuses to kill the Dragon, issa zaldrīzo ānogar.

Current Inventory:

History Book: The Dragon King Festival

Strongest character trait: eurovision knowledge Confidence (in herself and some others)

Strengths: Katya is almost surprisingly determined, it contradicts with the rest of her “I’ve never had to work hard to get what I want in my life” type personality, but she is persevering and stubborn, when she wants something, she won’t stop until she gets it. Which in her real life was never very difficult getting.  

Weaknesses: Where to even start? Spoiled Princess Brat (she has never not gotten what she wants in her life, and it shows), impatient, impulsive, not exactly a team player (I mean, she is now, but that shady shit she pulled back when she first started playing kinda got her a rep), arrogant, prideful, kind of a bitch (doesn’t really think of it as a weakness, but ya know, it’s hard to make friends), dragon obsession (refuses to kill dragons, even in order to advance the game, got herself and party members killed early on in the game ‘cause of it), kind of an adrenaline junkie, and reckless af. She doesn’t really consider the consequences of the game, wholeheartedly believes her dad, fam and connections in the real world will get her out soon enough, so has no problem running head first into fire (”I’m too hot to die in a video game”).

Player Stats: (on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the weakest, 10 being the strongest. try to balance it out!)

STRENGTH: 9

DEFENSE: 7

CHARISMA: 3

PSYCHE: 5

WILLPOWER: 9

CAUTIOUSNESS: 2

AGILITY: 5

ENDURANCE: 7

INTELLIGENCE: 8

LUCK: 4

Personality:  “Haven’t you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch before?”

Haha, yeah, but mostly, she’s just a massive nerd. She’s such a fucking nerd. Bitch learned Quenya and Sindarin just for kicks, and her own amusement. Literally no one else in her irl circle even fucking knows what those two things are (Elvish tongues in Tolkien).

As the baby of a two large families, and the only daughter of a Russian oligarch, Katya is incredibly spoiled, and very much self-centered. Something of a downplayed celebutante, she is not quite as present at every single high society, high fashion event in Russia, or elsewhere in Europe, she only goes to a handful. And really only for the free stuff, she loves stuff. Katya maintains a somewhat disinterested high social status, as she is the daughter of a major industrialist, and friends with other, higher profile wealthy Russian heirs and heiresses, and there are benefits (so many), but she isn't quite interested in attaining spotlight or attention. However, she also perceives it as something that is just naturally part of her life. She uses a lot of hand gestures when speaking, and tends to give off a naive-princessy vibe who seems to think the world revolves around her. Which, to be fair, it does in her house -she does know that it doesn’t actually, but ya know, can’t quite turn off that bitch, I’m a princess mindset.

“I don’t skate through life... I walk through life. In really nice shoes.” - Alexis Rose (Schitts’ Creek 3.04)

Notably, she speaks with a vocal fry when speaking English. She says “like” a lot, has a bit of a condescending tone, but, she like, does care. About a lot of stuff, but also humanity in general. Spoiled baby she may be, she does have a moral compass, and was amongst the public figures who signed an open letter against the Saint Petersburg Anti-”Gay Propaganda” bill (it’s some bullshit about “protecting” minors from “non-traditional sexual relationships”). She believes in doing the right thing, that the goal of any organization or even person should just be to decrease the net suffering of humanity, but also, she is a super proud Russian. Very anti-american, thinks they’re all stupid, always says shady shit in Russian whenever she runs into americans online. However, it’s not like she’s a fan of United Russia (Putin’s party), they’re right-wing nutjobs, she does not like them. Her main political party is A Just Russia, who are much less then left than her (officially, they be centre-left), but they’re the only ones (of her favoured parties) who have seats in the State Duma (the lower house of the Federal Assembly, Russia’s legislative body - the Duma is like parliament, or congress, I think, I don’t really know what congress is tbh, house of representatives maybe? Idk, the place where Nancy Pelosi is charge, equivalent to that). Katya also supports Patriots of Russia, a socialist, left-wing party, but they only have seats in regional parliaments, and only one seat in the Federation Council (similar to the senate, the upper house of Russia’s legislative body). There’s also Russia of the Future, but it’s not been formally registered yet. In the 2018 election she voted for the communist party’s candidate just for kicks (it’s different in Russia, there’s was zero possibility of Putin losing, come on, grow up).

As a side note, if this helps with the explainary-stuff, I basically envision her as a slavic-desi cross of Alexis Rose from Schitts’ Creek, and Gina Linetti from Brooklyn-99, also this hindi song; Sheila ki Jawani. The song is basically about owning the fact that you’re super sexy.

Biography: Katya is half-Russian, half-Indian, born to a Russian father, industrialist (and oligarch) Anatoli Ivanovich Raevsky, and an Indian mother, activist and journalist Mishti Syeda Khan. Her parents eventually separated, though technically are still married, when she was about 14, and her mother moved to Manchester in the UK, while Katya remained in Russia with her father. Katya is from a large family, on both sides, and at the time of her birth, was the first baby to be born in quite a few years (the elder cousins were like tween-teen, too old be constantly coddled and cuddled, and too young to make babies), so she was hella spoiled by everyone. The problems her maternal family had with her mother marrying a non-Muslim white boy? Well, we still hate him, but look how cute Rina is.

Despite the... complications between her family members - the whole religion/marrying a shada (white) boy thing, not to mention that Mishti herself is like agnostic at “best”, in general, as the baby, Katya (or Rina as her mother and maternal family call her), get along - well, okay, there’s always the shady auntieji’s, and bullshit drama, but like, that’s just brown families yo. We like that. We’re all 100% those bitches (see ya at Eid Nanu [grandma], ya messy bitch). While there is some distance between Katya and her mother, metaphorically and literally, she really does look up to her mother and her work, and followed in her footsteps, studying journalism at Moscow State University, and moving on to work at Известия (Izvestia), the “national” paper of Russia, formerly the state newspaper of the Soviet Union. Currently, she’s a glorified fact checker, and maintains the website with a handful of other colleagues. She’s also authored small “puff pieces” for Nedelya (a weekly Friday section about leisure actives, culture, that kinda stuff).

Katya is not exactly an avid gamer. She likes games, but it’s not like a 24/7 thing, whereas she is 24/7 thinking about like ASOIAF or Stars Wars (fuck you JJ, you were supposed to destroy the Sith R*ylo, not join them), not to mention Eurovision. Anyone who thinks Eurovision only lasts for a week is a fake fan, and anyone who thinks it’s a one day thing is an american. Ziben ziben ilulu motherfucker. Anyway.... she prefers immersive, high fantasy worlds, she likes the story and plot, so her types of games are The Witcher and Dragon Age Series, Elder Scrolls, that sort of thing. She doesn’t put in daily hours, ‘cause she got other stuff to do, but will dedicate weekends to leveling up her characters in order to accomplish quests and missions quickly and not waste time to get to the story cut scenes. She hates, hates, hatessss microtransactions and those stupid fucking mmorpg phone games which are literally just farmville repackaged with a dragon or an orc; FUCK YOU. What a fucking waste of time, quit advertising as having a plot and story, or cool character customization, ‘cause you don’t have any of that you basic ass bitch!

Gem Quest was regifted to Katya by a coworker, who had gotten it as a present, but didn’t have a VR set (of course she had one, she’s rich, and also she needed it to play Batman: Arkham VR - she’s still waiting on a game that’ll let her make out with Nightwing while playing as a custom character). She got a bit of a bad rep (understatement) in the beginning of the game. Katya hates being stuck because she doesn’t have enough exp or whatever, so she always levels up in the beginning of a game before taking the time to fuck around and do whatever, which, in the case of Gem Quest, means teaming up is the easiest way to do that. So, whenever a party member was holding them back from leveling up, she would straight up kill them in order to move on. She killed her own irl friends, to be fair, she doesn’t do that anymore, that was just in the beginning, but ya know, the rep of being that bitch kinda hard to get of.

G.’s announcement didn’t particularly freak out Katya. Whatever kind of evil Kaiba Corp execs bullshit he was pulling didn’t matter, he still had a body out there in the real world, and there’s no fucking way her dad would let die in a fucking game. There’s perks to being Oligarchs in Russia, and even if she did die in-game and was unable to return to reality, wherever G. and his real body were, motherfucker will die in excruciating pain. Polonium-210 ain’t pleasant, and the Novichok series is so much worse.

Relationships: (OPTIONAL, fill out whenever you want to)

Silverwing - rn. Anastasia “Anya” Gagarina (fc: Anna Belan), a fellow moonstone, and real life friend - well, the younger sister of an ex-boyfriend whom she still gets along with (the sister, not necessarily the ex).

Inferna - I don’t really have any plotting ideas, but Inferna’s whole; “It’s very important that I am both cute and powerful” is so relatable (to me and Katya xp)

Enthroned -

Morningstar -

Extras/Trivia (aka unnecessary information):  

Her mother, and thus maternal family, are from Kolkata, in the state of West Bengal in India, thus making Katya fluent (relatively) in Bengali as well (well, a dialect of it - West Central, you’d think as an actual Bengali person, I’d know the proper name of it, but nope. Idk, shudobasha maybe, but I think that’s for people from Dakha, which is in Bangladesh, not India. Whatever. Not like my dad will check this and be disappointed in me.)

Apart from her native Russian, Hindi, and Bengali, she speaks English, and Japanese (100% learned it because she’s a weeb), as well as the fictional languages; Quenya, Sindarin (and can use the Tengwar script to write them), High Valyrian, Mando’a, Dovazhul, and Klingon. As a teenager she also created a dictionary for ancient “Black Speech”, an in-universe constructed language in Tolkien’s legendarium, but her version is not canon, so it doesn’t count - she’s also forgotten a lot of it. She was a baby, she still has the hard copy she made somewhere in the Raevsky Manor in Saint Petersburg.  

After graduating from MSU, her father bought her, her own apartment in the Kudrinskaya Square Building in Moscow, adjacent to the ones he owned already, which she had lived in when she moved to Moscow for school. 

Katya’s family is religiously mixed (well, she’s the one who’s mixed), her maternal family are largely Muslim, some Hindu (very few though, like, you can count them on one hand), and her paternal family are either Orthodox Christian or atheist (usually depending on how long they were alive and how into the Soviet Regime they were). Katya’s parents are agnostic (Mishti), and atheist (Anatoli), Katya herself is also atheist, but sometimes she’ll say she prays to the Seven or R’hllar, or Lord Jashin, or some other made up nerd ass religion (’cause she that bitch).

But for real, she can be a real bitch about religion. The Soviets got a lot wrong, but banning religion was not one of them <- so she says. She gets super pissed when someone brings up religion during a politics chat, that fake shit should have nothing to do with running a country. 

hates starbucks with every fibre of her being, it’s such an american staple and the first time she saw one in Russia, she nearly had a heart attack.

Will die mad about:

The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker; the fuck was that bullshit? We trusted you JJ! 

the garbage show’s gaslighting and murder of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Rightful Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men. Queen of Meereen, The Prince who was Promised, The Unburnt, Slayer of Lies, Breaker of Shackles, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, and Mother of Dragons.

Hrithik Roshan still being so fucking hot (he’s 45, please like chill a little, holy fuck)

Catarina de Lurton dying 

Former american politician John McCain constantly saying “Russia is a gas station masquerading as a country” - bitch, we’re a thousand years old, how’s your 250 year old failed experiment of a garbage nation going? 

Freud.

Links:

Playlist

Pinterest

Urstyle Collection (aesthetics, and other shit)

Social Media

[gryffindorcls]

Can I ask nos 6, 13 and 14 for the Fic asks? Thank you!

Hello, lovely anon!

Why yes, you can!

6)  Where is the strangest place you’ve ever read fic?

Well, I didn’t really get to travel with my fics until I got a smartphone in college, and I was pretty much limited to reading them in my room on my laptop.  I haven’t really had the chance to read in too many super strange places yet.  However, growing up I had a lofted bed that my amazing mother made for me.  Underneath it, I had a full-blown fortress/ introvert’s paradise complete with bookshelves, music, twinkly lights, Disney Princess posters, a place to put food, blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, and a fluffy pink chair.  (Pink is, was, and forever will be my favorite color, so just imagine everything in this bed fort an intense explosion of pink.  Pink isn’t just a color preference, it’s a lifestyle.)  I used to take my laptop under there and read for hours.  So, whenever anyone came into my house, they would ask where I was, and my mom would tell them that I was under my bed.

13)  How late is the latest you’ve ever stayed up reading fic?

Lol...okay, real talk.  One time my boyfriend looked at me and said, “Sometimes, I think that I’m tired, and then I remember how much you sleep.”  I have a problem with sleeping like a normal human being no matter how many alarms I set on my phone to remind me to go to sleep.  (I set 3.)

So, the latest I’ve stayed up to read a fic?  That would be somewhere around 3:30 a.m.  (I pulled a few all-nighters in college, so that’s not the latest I’ve ever stayed up.)  However, if I’m really into a fic, I typically only stay up until 1 a.m. because I wake up at 5:45 for my job.  I’ve been doing better though, and I’ve managed to cut it off by midnight recently.  IMPROVEMENT!

14)  Have you ever skipped doing something you were supposed to do because you were reading fic?

Okay...you know how when you’re a student, and your teacher gives you work to do?  Let’s say you have to write an essay or something.  You decide to read instead of writing that essay, and then you have to work on it at the last minute.  Well, I am a teacher, and the number of times that I’ve thought to myself, “Hmmm...I should really be writing my lesson plans right now instead of opening up yet another 100,000 word fic,” is absolutely ridiculous.

Now, I have anxiety, so my work ALWAYS gets done on time, and I’ve never skipped something completely.  The things I have to get done haunt me every second of the day.  I never forget a deadline.  Making lists with daily goals has definitely helped me, but fic reading has definitely thrown off my time management in the past.  Once again, like my sleep habits, this is something that I have been working to improve over time.  Baby steps.

As for events, I’ve never skipped anything to read instead.  I may be an introvert, but making time for my loved ones is really important to me, so I do my best to stay present during events.  As hard as it is sometimes, I try to make an effort to put my phone away when I’m with people because time with family and friends is a limited resource.  The people in my family have had way too many health scares for me to want to check out anymore.  (Even though my parents are usually the ones on their phones/devices while all the young Millenials/Gen Z kids are talking with no technology in sight!)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!

If anyone else would like to ask something from this list, you can find it here.

(So far I have answered 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, and 17)

[polar-stars]

The Overlooked Princess

[Hey, I was able to finish the little fic I was talking about! :D So here it is, a smol, little Next-Gen Ship AU story //throws confetti//

So this is one of my millions of Royalty AUs, one in which pretty much every named character is Royalty. It’s also about ShigeChi (but a bit more about Chieko in general). It’s also a rewritten version of this little snippet here -> https://polar-stars.tumblr.com/post/182306453441/but-just-in-case-you-meant-your-next-gen-alone

It basically has a little more exposition now and Shigeo and Chieko also actually talk a bit more in this one. 

I began this little one-shot a few days ago at a time where I was just really sad for no reason?? Like I just woke up and was like: “Everything sucks”, so this fic was basically me cheering myself up (even tho I couldn’t finish it on that day)

I thought this would be another work for the famous: “Lea’s-Self-Indulgent-Nonsense-Folder”, but seeing as ShigeChi seems to have quite the surprising popularity, it may not even be as self-indulgent as I initially thought .... O.O

Anyways with all my chattery out of the way, here it is:]

Today was the night that everyone awaited throughout the entire remaining year. The night of the Grand Royal Ball. Hosted by the Emperor and Empress of the grand Empire Divina this yearly ball was meant to be the one night where all the royal houses of the many different countries around Divina met in peace. It was without a doubt the highlight of the year and promised not only fun but also many opportunities for negotiations or possible alliances. It was only natural for a royal to look forward to it. Princess Chieko’s mother Queen Yuki Marui of Scientia always made a great fuss out of it as soon as the invitation arrived. Excitedly the woman would rush into each and every room of the palace loudly announcing the invitation’s arrival. Then she would already start thinking about which dresses to wear, which hairstyles would impress the other Royals the most and how much jewellery would be considered too much. Chieko’s father, King Zenji Marui of Scientia, mostly considered the ball a chance to get some negotiation done and when lucky having a talk with some of the other intellectuals. Although not as enthusiastic about it as his wife, it still always brought a smile on his face when watching her spin around the house in excitement. Chieko’s little brother, Prince Takahiro Marui of Scientia, always showed excitement for the ball and spent his time there with spending time with some of the other young royals, namely his best friend the stoic princess of Pacem, Kasumi Ibusaki. And Chieko? There was a time where she had been just as glad to go as the rest of her family. But with time passing her enthusiasm has faded with each year. She did not hate the ball. Not at all. It was still a joy to enter the beautiful, out-of-this-world palace of the Empire. The food served on this occasion was still beyond delicate. She still got to meet her friends from other countries. But at the same time Chieko felt how she got outshined by everyone on this ball. Usually she ended up spending the entire night on the sides, watching the many much more astonishing ball gowns spinning around on the dance floor to fully portray their beauty. Around her she heard many offers for a dance but not one of them directed to her. So many pairs showing sheer elegance in all their steps and twirls while she discussed politics with her bodyguard. Her country was not the richest or the strongest but it was still far from being considered poor or weak. Scientia was capable of being a good alliance. So it really must be her own plainness that lead to her loneliness on the ball. — The first dance of the evening always belonged to the Empress and the Emperor ob Divina, Alice and Ryo Nakiri. The second dance of the evening was reserved to the kings and queens of the other lands. It was always an impressive portrayal of elegance and refinement that the respective leaders of their land put up while everyone else watched. Although everyone in the room was in agreement that the King and Queen of Sol, Takumi and Ikumi Aldini were by far the most talented. Each and every year their performance was astonishing and enchanting to watch. “Your parents are so graceful, Mika!” Chieko gushed to one of her closest friends, Princess Mika Aldini of Sol. She was a truly stunning girl with radiating blonde hair that reminded one of the stars in the sky and sparkling eyes that had the colour of the ocean. Adding to that she had beautiful, full lips and tanned skin. She could wear anything and it would be gorgeous, was what Chieko thought. And she was not alone on that. King Takumi Aldini of Sol almost daily received offers for a marriage with his daughter and also now on the ball, the blonde princess had many eyes on her urging to ask for a dance as soon as the leaders of the land had finished theirs. This allowed Mika to be picky and so she turned a lot of offers down. She also rejected all the marriage proposals, waiting for her one true love to finally arrive. Often perceived as a heartbreaker by many devastated princes she was actually a true romantic still believing in the thought of true love. But only her closest friends got to know this. “Of course you’re just as talented in dancing.” Chieko added. Behind her three males gave an approving nod. Prince Daisuke Aoki of Timor, Prince Hideyoshi Kawashima of Superbia and Chieko’s best friend, Prince Yasu Ibusaki of Pacem. Instantly the Mika blushed at the compliment and retorted. “Tha...Thanks, Chieko. But I’m still not comparable to my parents.” Her cousin next to her, Prince Hiroshi Aldini-Tadokoro of Luna chuckled. “You’re down-talking yourself, my dear cousin.” Once again the group of males behind Chieko gave their approving nods, especially Yasu’s was rather fierce as Chieko nodded. “Seeing you dance reminds one of a swan.” Smiled Daisuke. Next to him Hideyoshi exclaimed. “The goody two-shoes next to me is right for once!” Almost on command Daisuke glared at the other one because of that statement. Meanwhile Yasu added. “There’s many guys who would love to dance with you, after all. It is truly an honour to get a dance with you.” Mika’s blush had only increased and she grunted. “Shut up.” Then she fiercely put her hands on her hips and declared. “Most princes however didn’t learn a thing about dance though!” A little theatrically, she sighed. “So many feet that already stepped on mine. It’s a horror! You’d think if they already have the nerve to ask for a dance with these smug grins, they’d know how to!” The whole group laughed at that. This was why the part where the kings and queens danced was always Chieko’s favorite. Not only were the respective highest-ranked royals all rather talented but it was also the time where all of her friends were still gathered together. But every dance had to end at some point. As the music of the orchestra started to fade, the adults slowed down as well. And just mere seconds after they were already parting. Each of the pairs moving into different directions. Chieko saw her parents approaching, accompanied by Yasu’s parents, Hideyoshi’s parents and Daisuke’s parents. Yuki was almost glowing of happiness and excitedly chatted with Queen Ryoko Ibusaki of Pacem while walking. Her husband King Shun Ibusaki of Pacem was just staring at Zenji in the meantime, making it seem like the two had a telepathic conversation going on. “And? How were we?” Yuki beamed once near enough for the princesses and princes to hear. “Splendid.” Daisuke responded. “Marvelous.” Hideyoshi added. They both turned expectingly to Yasu, who said after a little pause. “I can only agree.” “Absolutely.” Hiroshi smiled. Mika and Chieko gave their nods. Hideyoshi’s mother, Queen Urara Kawashima of Superbia, flipped her hair and declared. “But of course.” Her husband, King Shoji Kawashima of Superbia chuckled. Meanwhile Daisuke’s mother Queen Yua Aoki of Timor clinged to her husband while blushing because of the praise. “Thank you.” Ryoko chuckled in response. Yuki began to laugh. “Of course we all were nothing compared to Mika’s parents!” This statement seemed to irk Urara a little as she flinched. Mika only shook her head. “I wouldn’t put it like that, Queen Yuki, but I’ll be sure to tell them the praise regardless.” Before anyone could say anything more, the Empress who had returned to her throne clapped her hands together bringing the attention to her. “I want to thank my fellow Kings and Queens for their participation in our yearly opening dance. It was a pleasure.” She grinned. “And now with the formalities out of the way! It’s time to have fun~! Herewith, I officially declare the ball’s beginning! Let us all have a wonderful time as usual!” Some raised their glass to yell “Cheers”, the others applauded the Empress despite the fact that she could be a little informal time to time. After that, the chaos ensued. With the ball beginning, for most princes and princesses it was essential to start the evening off with a dance. And of course it had to be a dance with a good, suitable companion. Chieko notes how many eyes landed on the people surrounding her. Hiroshi noted that a great amount of males were staring at his mildly, annoyed cousin and so he quickly offered her a hand. “My dear cousin, how about we share the first dance of the evening?” Mika gave him a little surprised look but it quickly shifted into a thankful but also amused expression. “Sure, why not?” “Well.” Hideyoshi proudly announced. He also had many looks burning on him and knew it. “I’ll guess I search for a partner then as well.” His arrogant grin got a little wider. “Shouldn’t take long.” Next to him Daisuke huffed but decided to tag along in the end. Yasu watched Mika leave with Hiroshi. Chieko gently took his hand. “Maybe next time.” Yasu pressed his lips together and shook his head. “I...don’t know what you’re talking about...” Chieko could only chuckle at this. He might be an unreadable mystery to most but certainly not to her. She was just about to ask if maybe they should follow Hiroshi’s and Mika’s strategy and dance together. For her it was better than nothing, considering that she would certainly get a nice chat out of it and Yasu was a good dancer. However of course fate couldn’t even let her have this, as just as she was about to open her mouth, a girl approached them with flushed cheeks. Of course Yasu was too kind to say no. And as quickly as that, Chieko was alone. Her mother has decided to get in touch with the newest gossip and Ryoko, Urara and Yua had followed her. Her father had chatted with Shun, Daigo and Shoji for a bit before excusing himself and going off to negotiate. The other three soon disappeared as well. Daigo and Shoji aiming for the food that was served on the ball and Shun deciding to have a talk with King Satoshi Isshiki of Fons, the leader of the so-called “Polar Star Alliance” which her country and his were a part of. Chieko sighed. Just as she predicted it. She started to move a little backwards, considering that there was not much need for her to stand so close to the dance floor. She’d just reached the spot that she had desired then she already heard the whispers emerge. “Look it’s the Crown Princess of Scientia.” “All alone as it seems.” “Well, she does not look much like a princess doesn’t she?” “She’s not ugly but.........plain. An everyday-face.” “And a shylet as it seems? She doesn’t look like to have much bravery.” “Oh poor Scientia. She has to rule it someday.” “My father knows one of Scientia’s ministers. They’re all worried sick! For sure small, petite Princess Chieko Marui will not be able to compete with the other much more fierce leaders of the land...and seeing her here. I believe they’re right.” The girls standing a few meters away at least attempted to be as quiet in their talk as possible, Chieko gave them that. It was such a shame that it was not very effective. She bid her lips. Even her country’s ministers doubted her. She really was plain after all. — Time passed and not much changed for Chieko. Only Daisuke returned to her side, while Hideyoshi remained busy swirling around with everyone who wanted to. Mika fleed to the balcony rather soon, Hiroshi joined a talk with his mother and the King of Gloria, Kojiro Shinomiya. And Yasu remained cornered by many different princesses who he just couldn’t reject. However unbeknownst to Chieko, her evening was just about to become much more interesting than she would have ever imagined. “.....And that is why I find this theory on sovereignty much more interesting.” Chieko finally finished a long, long speech. She turned to Daisuke. “But what do you think?” The Brunette blankly stared at her with round eyes for a few seconds before giving his answer. “What I think? Chieko! I think about just how you manage to keep all of this data in your head! You truly are amazing when it comes to such things.” Chieko blushes slightly at the praise. “Thank you...But it really isn’t that amazing...” “It is!” Daisuke immediately corrected. “I mean.....Oh is that your father there?” Chieko noticed how Daisuke’s green eyes had went from being focused on her to something that was behind her. And so she turned around to spot that it was really her father approaching them. To her surprise she also noted that Zenji had become even more pale than he already was and that he looked...slightly stressed. Chieko frowned. What was that about? “Chieko!” He called out as he had finally reached the two. “What is it, father?” Chieko responded and tilted her head a little. “Are you alright? You’re very pale.” Zenji gave a hectic nod. “I am alright, but I....have to introduce you to somebody.” He didn’t sound calm at all. Chieko and Daisuke exchanged a look. “Who is it?” At this question the last little tints of skin color seemed to fade out of Zenji’s face. With a heavy voice he answered. “King Etsuya Eizan of Exitium.” It was the mere name of a kingdom but within a second, Daisuke was as pale as Zenji. “Ex....Exitium?” He screeched in an unbelieving voice. But who could blame him. Chieko’s pupils had also grown wider as she had heard that name. Exitium. A kingdom that was mainly known for it’s immense prosperity that truly only few could rival. But just as much as it was rich, it was also a heavy Military nation that could be a deadly opponent in any war. Going by the stories she heard about the Royal family so far, the king was a merciless man quick to anger while the queen was appearently a just-as intimidating woman capable of freezing people with only a simple glance. It was a fearsome, power-hungry kingdom that made many feel uneasy. Why would any of them want to have anything to do with her? With wide eyes she said. “What? But why...?” Zenji sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose. With an frustrated expression he explained. “He requested a dance for his second son, Prince Shigeo Eizan of Exitium.....With you.” Chieko’s eyes grew some more at this and for a little moment. This left her tongue-tied as it took her a bit to process the information she had just received. Someone...had requested a dance with her? And it was the King of Exitium of all places? And she was asked to dance with his son? As her tongue was finally capable of forming words again, the first one to leave her lips was: “What?” She heard Daisuke stammer behind her. “A....A da...dance with one of the three princes of Exitium?” Anther sigh escaped Zenji. “Exactly. I suppose he wants to get his second son, , as he is not the heir to the throne, a marriage to gain more power.” He pressed his lips together and admitted. “I don’t like the idea of introducing my daughter to one of the three princes of Exitium either...” Despite the fact that Chieko couldn’t deny that the thought of dancing with one of the three princes really had an eery feel to it, there was a part of her that was genuinely curious. Maybe Exitium was terrifying in many people’s eyes but it was without any doubt a powerful nation that had to gain it’s reputation somehow. And Chieko was sure that the members of the Royal family weren’t exactly stupid or people who based their decision-making on mere feelings and intuition. And so she answered. “I suppose, we shouldn’t let King Eizan wait too long then.” Daisuke turned to her, eyes full of shock. Zenji continued staring at his daughter for a little while more, before he sighed, nodded and said. “Alright. Let’s go.” 

And so they left,l the still flabbergasted Daisuke and got moving. Chieko did as she said and followed her father’s path through the lousy crowd. Soon daughter and father had reached their target, as Chieko spotted two persons her father was heading to. A man around her father’s age with blonde, slicked back hair and narrowed, sharp yellow eyes which were covered by rectangular glasses. He looked grim and impatient. Without a doubt, that must be the King of Exitium, Etsuya Eizan. On first glance Chieko could understand why he was usually described as intimidating. She didn’t even talk to him and yet she was already wishing for never saying something that could make the man angry. The male beside him was a lot younger, presumably a year older than Chieko. That must be Etsuya’s second son, Shigeo Eizan. The one she was possibly right in front of sharing a dance with. He had the same yellow eyes as his father and had also covered them with a pair of squared glasses. His hair however was green and only partly slicked back. The uniform he wore certainly looked expensive. It was black and Chieko caught herself thinking that the colour suited him well. The Prince disinterestedly looked elsewhere as if this affair didn’t concern him at all. Meanwhile his father spoke up and barked. “King Marui!” as soon as Zenji and Chieko we’re close enough. Zenji flinched a little at that but tried to keep his overall composure. “I see you’re finally back.” Etsuya continued. Without warning his eyes suddenly landed on Chieko. “...With your daughter.” Without any preparation for this attack, Chieko felt like she was being stabbed by those burning, piercing orbs. Quickly she bowed her head and made curtsey. “My name is Princess Chieko Marui of Scientia. It is my honour to meet you, Your Majesty.” “The pleasure is mine.” Etsuya replied, before shifting his attention back to Zenji. “King Marui, May I find out if there will be a dance or not?” He asked in an imperious tone, making the question sound a little bit more like a threat than a polite inquiry. Zenji forced a smile. “I....If it suits you, I’d like to exchange a few more words about this with my daughter.” It didn’t suit Etsuya, which showed as his expression darkened when hearing that he had to wait a little more for his answer. Despite obviously impatient, he still gave a slight nod. “Of course.” The very next second, Chieko was already grabbed by her father and pulled to the side. Once far away enough from Etsuya and his son, Zenji faced Chieko and began to whisper. “Chieko, I know you are a smart girl and I’ll leave this decision up to you. But remember, don’t pressure yourself. If you feel like rejecting the offer, I completely understand! Truth to be told, I would prefer that actually. Just tell me and I will....” He gulped but continued the sentence regardless. “.....Tell King Eizan that you refuse.” Chieko knew that the thought of having to say “No” right into Etsuya’s certainly scared her father and she appreciated that he was willing to do it for her regardless of that. However. Despite all the dark and scary stories she had already heard about Exitium. Despite the fact that neither Etsuya nor his son had shown themselves to be great examples of politeness. Despite the fact that her wise and knowledgeable father was urging her to refuse. Chieko didn’t want to. She searched her feelings and was stunned when finding out that she actually wanted this dance. If she would grasp the chance and actually be able to get on Exitium’s good side, Scientia might have found itself a very strong and valuable ally. But it was more than that. It was also the desire to prove herself. To show the rest of the world that she was capable of standing toe to toe with the other Royals, to demonstrate that Scientia would be in good, strong hands once she will be crowned queen. She just wanted everyone to finally see that she was more than what meets the eye. And lastly. She just wanted to have one goddamnit dance on this goddamn ball for once in her life. And if it had to be with the devil himself. “Father..” She therefore said. “Would Exitium be an alliance of benefit?” She already knew the answer and it was only verified as she saw how her father’s eyes widened before he dodged her gaze. A smile appeared on her lips as she got a hold of his chin to make her look at her again. “You worry too much. I’ll be fine, Dad.” And before he could let his overprotectiveness win over and hold her back or something, she turned around and moved away back to Etsuya and Shigeo. “Your Majesty.” She firmly called out after she had build up enough courage. “I will gladly share a dance with your son, it would be my honour!” Etsuya’s eyes widened a little at that and he seemed to be, actually impressed with the little princess. Another wonder seemed to happen as his son beside him broke his staring battle with the curtains on the other side of the ballroom to finally look at Chieko instead. A smirk played itself on his lips and suddenly Chieko felt her knees go weak as she was confronted with a piercing gaze once again. Shigeo stepped out from behind the back of his father and moved to Chieko. While doing so, he started to talk. “Well, well. I’m deeply flattered, Princess Marui.” He stopped in front of her. Interest flashing in his penetrating eyes. Having him so close, she really couldn’t deny that he was a handsome, young man. “But I do have to say, that this does not fit the formalities.” Chieko felt heat build up in her body as she watched his hand reaching out for hers. He bowed slightly and elegantly brought her hand to his mouth. “Princess Chieko Marui of Scientia.” His lips touched her palm, while his way too intense eyes continued to hold contact with hers. Instantly the blood rushed into her head, turning her face red. “May I have this dance?” It was hard for Chieko not to stammer her answer. “It...It would be a plea...pleasure.” The smirk of the prince grew a little at that and he let go of her hand. He leaned back again and rather held out his elbow to her for hooking. “Shall we then, Princess?” He asked gallantly. She could only nod and place her hand on his elbow. Shigeo’s gaze remained on her for a few seconds more before he turned his head to Zenji who had placed himself next to Etsuya in the mean time and had become pale again. “I will make sure to give your daughter a dance she deserves, Your Majesty, there’s no need to worry.” And with a last nod directed to his father, he turned his head away again and lead Chieko to the dance floor. Meanwhile Chieko had an rumble of emotions going on within her. She honestly never expected Shigeo to be so eloquent....so...so....charismatic. It made her feel a spark of interest that went beyond ‘alliance’. Mentally she shook her head, quickly telling herself to stay focused and not let herself be bewitched by the charms of some prince. Especially not if it was a prince that could possibly lie. Shigeo stopped in his walk once they had reached the dancefloor making Chieko stop as well. She took her hand off his elbow so he could turn to her and face her instead. But once their eyes met Chieko looked elsewhere. She heard a chuckle. “Why so nervous now, Princess? Have you fallen for me already?” Almost automatically she spat. “Of course not!” It only lead to another amused snicker. “Whatever it is then, I assure you there’s nothing to worry about....” Immense arrogance that could rival Hideyoshi’s showed in his voice. “...I am a splendid dancer.” Chieko huffed. At that moment the music of the previous song faded, telling both of them that it was time to get serious. As she had learned it Chieko made another curtsy, while Shigeo bowed. As they lifted their heads to look at each other again they reached out for each other’s hand to let their fingers intertwine. Her other hand landed on his shoulder, while his was placed on her hip, making her blood start to boil again. And then. Just as they had gotten in position. The new tune started. And so they began to move to the music of he orchestra. She let him take the lead and followed each of his steps with precision. Very soon they were in sync as they almost floated over the floor. His eyes attached to her, while she still looked to the side. It what Chieko has practiced for so long but never had been able to show. Over the years she had memorised so many steps and twirls. She smiled a little. Finally. “I see that you’re good in dancing as well.” He said after a while. A pause emerged as Chieko did not really know how to answer but rather had another blush spread on her face because of the compliment on something she had tried to perfect for so long. And then, he spoke up again. “Princess Chieko Marui, you really are an interesting woman.” Now she couldn’t help but to look at him in wonderment about this statement. Her eyes questioning she met his gaze again and found him with a confident smile. She tilted her head a little. “Why? Because I can dance?” She took a quick look around them, seeing all the other couples twirling their circles. She looked back at him. “That really isn’t very amazing.” “Hm..” He hummed. “No it’s not just that, Princess Marui.” After another turn he explained. “I’ll be honest with you. And let me tell you, that is privilege not many achieve. I was not very avid when my father came to tell me he had finally found a dance partner.” For a moment is smile actually disappeared and he started to roll his eyes. “Normally the girls either throw theirselves at me, while clearly only interested in the prestige of my family name and thinking I am easy to seduce with their empty compliment and boring talks or they shiver uncontrollably clearly scared.” To underline how he annoyed he was of hear actions he added. “It’s a pain.” The smirk returned to his face as he then said. “You, however, are different.” Chieko blinked at that, a little too flabbergasted to give an answer. Shigeo chuckled. “I’ve never seen a girl so fiercely walking up to my father and speaking up so confidently. Normally they sent out their fathers or mothers to let them do the talking and even they request the dance in a whimper.” His smirk grew a little. “What you did was certainly impressive.” Chieko’s cheeks became hot once again and she responded. “Thank you for the compliment....” “I don’t understand why you don’t have princes lining up to ask for a dance.” Shigeo continued smoothly. “You’re the crown princess to a steady nation, you’re pretty and you seem to be the smart kind as well.” “Pre-“ Chieko squeaked while her face got red even more. She quickly shook her head to get a clear mind again. But once she did, her eyes turned downcast and she looked back to the side. “People don’t take notice of me.” She explained honestly. “They all see me as weak and helpless. A baby-animal so to speak. A candle in the wind.” The conversation she had heard earlier played in her head again and she pressed her lips together. For a little while Shigeo remained quiet and at some point she assumed he was out of arguments and compliments. But then he suddenly spoke up again. “And yet here you are, dancing with one of the most dangerous men on the ball like it is nothing.” He turned her around and after she had done so, she looked back at him in astonishment. His smirk turned to a grin. “I wouldn’t exactly deem that weak and helpless.” It was then that Chieko actually noted how many eyes the two had caught already and how even most of the other dancing couples were eyeing them. “Is that....Princess Chieko Marui of Scientia?” “.....dancing with one of the three princes of Exitium?!” “How bold!” “I would never dare!” Chieko turned her head back to Shigeo. “That....that is all because of you and your reputation.” He only snickered once agains. “No, Princess Chieko, it’s not. They all admire the princess who’s dancing with a monster.” Chieko felt her heart accelerate a little as she kept on taking turns and slides with him over the dancefloor while more and more pairs of eyes began to watch them.

---

[One of the main things going on with Chieko’s character in the fanfiction is that she tends to get heavily underestimated, sometimes even by her friends....this is also one of the reasons why her having a significant relationship to Shigeo is a thing, as Shigeo is a rather intimidating personality that many, many students on Totsuki fear. 

As he often gets confronted with her fierce side, he’s actually one of the few persons who recognize her potential.

I tried to make this a sort-off theme here as well and I hope I didn’t screw up too badly. 

Also I was like....suffering to write the actual dance QwQ I’m really not good at things like this.

Anyways, here’s my little “I-had-a-bad-day”-comfort fic ;w;

As a last funfact: I was only listening to the Soundtrack of “Madoka Magica” when writing this and I’ll be honest. In my mind the tune they dance to is “Sis Puella Magica” since I...just heavily associate it with this story now XD Even tho....”Sis Puella Magica” comes from a completely different place.

This one works as well (It’s basically “Sis Puella Magica” but without vocals -w- and even more orchestral, so it might work better as song for a ballroom dance : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT0hDTsNais&t=37s) ]

[grayzeda]

The latest popular study on suicide was done in 2016, of which white men in their thirties seemed to be the most likely to commit suicide. Last year, 45,000 people (in USA) commit suicide. Now, tell me those are all white men in their thirties. Go on, because I won't believe it. The most suicidal people I have ever met were people in their teens, gender doesn't matter, it doesn't change how we feel emotionally. I, myself, have been tempted to commit suicide many times.

Now, adults, I hear you, "Why would teens be suicidal? They're so young." Let's start of with the basics.

1. Age doesn't matter. There is no required age to be suicidal, it isn't a choice. Feeling suicidal comes by itself, we don't just wake up one day and decide we're going to be depressed.

2. Age does matter. Because we're "so young" we are looked down on. We are "too young" to make our own decisions, to do anything by ourselves because we aren't adults. We're simply children who "haven't been exposed to the world". Breaking news, adults, we've been through it all. Teenagers, themselves, remind me of adults. We talk bad about each other, we avoid each other, we hate each other, we love each other, we lose everyone, no one comes back for you. I've lost every friend I've had since I was born, it really should'nt hurt anymore, but it does.

3. Life at home. I've heard teenagers hurt a lot because of their home conditions, I agree. My parents are early gen x, both raised by the silent generation (gen v). Times were extremely different during this time, my mom was raised very strictly, my dad was raised very loosely. They're complete opposites and I'm their unfortunate mix plus a bunch of emotions. My parents don't have time for my emotions, so I bottle them up, but this only leads to me lashing out sometimes. Rules are fairly strict in my house, and it's just me, I have no siblings. Bed time is 10pm, when working on homework there are no phones in the room, no phones in the room at night, and I have to give my phone to my parents when I get home after school and can only get it back once I finish all my homework, 30 mins on piano, and 10 mins on band. On average, this takes from about 4pm-7pm. It may not sound like much, but this is working on homework without breaks.

4. Parents, in general. My parents are fairly strict (as I said in 3) and they are part of early gen x. Most parents portray how their parents raised them, that's how they were taught. My mom is the head of the house and the bitch of the house. My dad just sits back and watches, neither of them know how to deal with me and my bottles of emotions I've thrown away for a better day. I love my parents, yes, but I can't deal with them. They don't have time for me, therefore, I don't have time for them. I try to open up when I'm sad? Immediate lecture. They immediately start saying shit like, "it's because you're on your phone so much. Do you know how much we do for you?" And further the guilt trip, the shit they say about "taking care of me". No, you're just controlling me, living through my body. I've lost my passion in so many things because of them. "Just think about it positively!" I can't. I just can't. They just fill me up with so much anger and sadness and pain that I just want out. I want out of this hellhole they call a house. This is not a healthy family, I am not becoming a science major because you never got to. I'm cutting it off here because I have a lot more I could say, but long story short is: Don't live your life through your kids, don't overwork them or stress them out, let them become what they want to be and support them. Parents who are trying to force their children into a religion: Fuck off. Parents who don't support their lgbtq+ kids: Fuck you.

5. We experience the world as much as you do. We see everything that happens. Hell, we have school shootings happen. Do people go to your work and shoot up the place on a weekly basis? No? So, shut up. We're worried for our own lives at school. We see what goes on in politics, we see everything. We experience too, girls my age get raped on the daily, this is not okay. So, rapists and pedophiles, control your adult selves and stop looking at a child in that way. You are an adult that I'm supposed to look up to. Do you see why I don't trust adults? They can't control themselves around anything, children, drugs, alcohol, etc. I've seen a lot of bad things and have come to hate the adults closest to me for some of this stupid shit. I find some of the adults around me revolting and, honestly, it's a major problem. So, control yourselves, goddammit.

Sorry this ended up so long but this is what happens when adults piss me off and I've bottled myself up for a few days. Thanks for listening to my TED talk and remember, you can do anything you want, your age doesn't matter.

[hornsbeforehalos]

Whiskey, Sweetheart: Part 16

Pairing: Past Norman Reedus x OFC, Past JDM x OFC Warnings: RPF, Smut, Language, Breif Violence, Jealousy, Angst, Older man/Younger Woman.

Series Masterlist

Summary: After Jeffrey’s neglect pushed her away and into the arms of his best friend, Norman and Ky have to figure out if their new relationship can withstand not only the aftermath of the unspeakable crime they commited to keep her safe, but the backlash that comes from being co-workers with a very betrayed Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

A/n: This is the Sequel to Anytime, Sweetheart and The Conquests of Norman Reedus. You’ll probably be a bit confused if you haven’t read Conquests yet, though, or at least the Finale, but you could probably figure it out on your own if you don’t want to. But I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to, lol.

Everything tags:@aquivercactus@srj1990@dragongirl420@docharleythegeekqueen@jesbakescookies@make-things-beautiful2 @through-thesilver-lining@sorenmarie87 @daddy-kink-confirmed@redm81@heyitscam99@kazosa@blacklightguidesnic@fandomoniumflurry @his-paradox@keepcalmimthecupcake @ambeazyyy @starkeeper41

JDM TAGS: @jdmfanfiction @jeffreydeanneganstrash

Norman tags: @reedusteinrambles @jodiereedus22 @dollycrybaby

Whiskey, Sweetheart: @elinyaes @jml509@xagateophobiax@missghoul18@beffyblueeyes  @foreveror-never @zombeeemomeee @jackybehappy@journeyrose @alilarkin99

Norman stared at me silently for a long time, the revelation that he was going to be a father again by a woman who just shattered his heart a hard pill to swallow. 

“How long have you known?” He finally rasped, his voice thick and gravely.

“Right after we got out of jail,” I answered, diverting my eyes from him as his eyebrows raised at the notion that it’d been that long.

“For a month?” He asked, disbelief and frustration riddled in his tone, “You didn’t tell me?”

“I wanted to tell you, Norm, I did,” I started, meeting his eyes, “I just didn’t know how.”

“How about start off by saying, ‘Hey, babe, I’m pregnant!’?” Norman sneered, turning to sit on the step he’d been kneeling on and putting his head in his hands, resting his elbows on his thighs, “Can’t believe you’ve kept this from me.”

Scoffing at him as my anger flared up again, “Oh, I’m sorry, babe, kinda hard to be enthusiastic when you’re constantly reminding me of how much you don’t want kids.”

He gritted his teeth and bit his cheek as he attempted to keep from snapping back at me, his voice coming out from behind his clenched jaw, “You should have told me, Kylin.”

“Whatever, Norm,” I sniffled as I wiped my nose on my shirt sleeve, “This is the exact reaction I expected, anyway.”

“I’m  not mad that you’re pregnant, Kylin,” Norman grunted, lifting his head up to turn his face to the side to look at me out of the corner of his eye, “I’m pissed that you waited ‘till now to tell me.”

He shifted again so he was leaning against the railing of the stairs, one foot propped up on the step he was sitting on and the other one on the one below it. He brought his gaze to mine for a moment before looking at the wall, shaking his head in frustration, “I’m pissed because you didn’t talk to me about what happened, you just blasted me on Instagram and slept with your ex. You didn’t even trust me enough to be like, ‘What the fuck?’ You just believed everything he said, just like you used to. I’m pissed because I trusted you,” His voice broke as tears resurfaced and ran down his cheek, his eyes darkening as he met my stare again, “And now I have to spend the rest of my life tied to someone I hate.”

His words burned into me long after Jensen had found us and pulled me into his room after telling Norman he needed to leave. Jeffrey had been dealt with, how I didn’t care as long as I wasn’t going to have to see him anytime soon. I lay in Jensen’s bed for the rest of the night and the next day, him, Misha, and Rob alternating checking in on me between events they had scheduled. The news that I was pregnant had made it’s way around the group, but it was a somber celebration with the way things had ended up happening. 

“What am I gonna do, Robbie?” I asked as he wrapped his arms securely around me and pulled me into his chest, “How am I gonna do this by myself?”

“You know you’re not alone, Kay,” He argued, tightening his grip on me, “Everyone is going to be doting on them so much, you’re probably gonna have to beat people away from the poor kid.”

A smile formed on my face at the thought of Jared, Jensen and Misha playing the awesome uncles, spoiling the poor kid before sending him home to me, “You’re prolly right about that.”

“What if I’m a complete fuck up at the whole mother thing and screw the kid up entirely?” I asked after a bout of silence, my mind working in overdrive, “What if it hates me or something?”

“Oh, honey, of course they’re gonna hate you,” Rob chuckled, “All kids hate their parents at some point.” 

“Did Calvin and Audrey hate you?” I asked curiously, looking up at him from  my place on his chest.

“Ohhhhh yeah,” He sighed, his brow furrowing with disappointment “Hell, they’re grown and still hate me.”

“Huh?” I grunted as I sat up on my elbow to see his face better, “How come?”

“Just shit with Mollie. She’s officially filing for divorce this time apparently and their both pissed because they say it’s my fault.”

“What? Since when?!” I gasped, scrambling to sit up to look at him, my hands prssing against him chest, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Shrugging, Rob twisted his lip and looked away, “You were busy all the time with Norman, and we rarely hung out anymore. I didn’t want to bother you with it.”

“I’m so sorry, babe,” I cooed, rubbing my palms down his arms to hold his hands, “I know how much she means to you.”

“She’s my wife, I mean, but we want different things. She’s busy with her law firm and I’m never home with how much I tour. She wasn’t okay with us being friends and I-”

“Wait, what? She wasn’t cool with us being friends?” I interrupted, my brows crinkling, “Since when?”

“Since every time we split up I wound up in your bed, princess,” He smirked as he squeezed my hands, “She was jealous.”

“Of me?” I scoffed, recoiling my head in disbelief, “What the fuck? I was never trying to take you from her.”

“I know that, Ky, but I wasn’t going to lie to her about anything that happened between us. I tried explaining to her that we were just best friends who happens to sleep with each other occasionally, but she insisted that it was more.”

“You know I love you, Robbie,” I said seriously, “But I never meant to be the reason for ya’ll to divorce.”

“You’re not the only reason for it, Kay,” He assured, smirking again as he sat up against the head board more and pulled me closer to him, his blue eyes bright with affection, “And I love you too. Forever, Sweetheart.”

I knew I probably shouldn’t, that it was definitely a bad idea, but it’s not like I’d been making good choices recently anyway, so I leaned over and kissed him. It was gentle and chaste, and he kissed me back instantly, our lips molding together until the sound of a key-card beeping outside made me pull away quickly. 

“I swear to Christ I can’t leave you two alone together,” Rich snarked with a shake of his head as he strolled in, Rob and I obviously caught by our pink cheeks and averting eyes, “Somethin’ else, girl.”

“Shut your face-hole, Richie,” I sneered back, rolling my eyes, “Don’t be jealous.”

“Of Rob? Please, honey-child, if I wanted you, you’d be mine,” He winked as he sat on the edge of the bed, “But unfortunately, my wife would probably kill you and me both.”

“Oh yeah, me, you, murdered,” I giggled, sprawling out to rest my chin on Rob’s stomach as I looked up at Rich, “How’s things down there?”

“Swimmingly, but I need to steal Rob so we can close this fucker down. You feel like coming down or you staying here?”

“I’m staying here,” I sighed, rolling off of Rob and sitting back up as he moved to get off the bed and straighten himself up, “Don’t feel like fuckin’ with anybody else today.”

“It’ll get better, sweetheart, you know it.” Rich assured, rubbing his hands up my biceps before bringing me into a hug, “You and little gummybear in there are gonna be just fine.”

“I sure as shit hope so.”

It was odd being back in Los Angeles. It’d been 3 weeks since Norman left and I had decided that I needed a break from traveling so much, but I never really felt right to be constantly at home all the time. 

It wasn’t that I was alone, either, because I certainly wasn’t. During the week, when Robbie wasn’t busy with shows or preparing for conventions, he was constantly checking in with me, making sure I didn’t need anything and even going as far as to going with me to one of my doctor’s appointments.

Gen, Danni, and Vickie made it a point to be up my ass as well, the two Texas girls insisting I Face-time with them at least once a day, where as Vicky would randomly pop in bright and early in the morning and make me go to some herbal shop with her and the kids, or do something ridiculous like goat yoga or something of the sort. While it was nice to have the distractions, my heart ached over Norman still, and I didn’t see it going away anytime soon. He’d shipped all my things that I’d left in New York and Georgia to me, and the only form of communication we had had was when I’d sent him a picture of the sonogram from the latest doctor visit, receiving a simple heart emoji back. I knew there was nothing to be said about us, and him saying he hated me still echoed through my head on a daily basis. I just hoped by the time the baby got here we’d at least be able to maintain some form of decency with each other.

I was approaching my sixteenth week, and had started to show just a slight bump. Everybody had thought it was absolutely adorable, and my mother had insisted on talking to it when I Facetimed her to tell them the news. At first they both insisted that I get on the next flight back to Dallas, but I eventually had them convinced I would be okay on my own.

I was too grown to be running to Mommy and Daddy to fix my fuck ups, anyway. 

The pulsing vibrations of my phone jarred me from a dreamless sleep, my body jerking into consciousness before scrambling to find the offending device. Groaning as I did so, I squinted my eyes open while blowing the fallen hair from my face. The contact from the law firm I had’s number displayed across the screen, and I quickly hit the accept button.

“Hello?” I greeted, trying to keep my voice from rasping with sleep.

“Ms. Ackles? This is Barbara, Mr. Walsh’s assistant?” The girl chirped in on the other side, “Sorry to have woken you?”

“No problem,” I croaked out, rollingonto my back and sitting up against the headboard, “What can I help you with?”

“Mr. Walsh wanted met to call and inform you that after speaking with Mr. Morgan and Mr. Reedus and presenting the information, The judge, with Mrs. Marcelli’s input and testimony, has decided to drop all charges and allegations towards all parties involved.” 

My mind whirled while it processed what the girl said, my eyes tearing up as I bolted forward in the bed, “Oh, shit, really? Thank you so much! Tell Mr. Walsh he’s amazing, thank you so so so much, really, like...Thank you.”

I ended the conversation shortly after, quickly distracted by jumping for joy as I heard Vicki unlock the door with her key. She gave me a confused look as I leapt at her, my arms winding around her body and lifting her up with me as I jumped.

“You win the lottery or something?” She inquired with a snort, holding me out at arms length by the biceps, “What’s up?”

“The law firm just called, Vic, I’m good, we’re good!” I squealed, jumping up and down again. 

This time she joined me, wrapping her arms around me tightly with a huge smile on her face, “That’s fucking awesome, Kay, thank God.”

A sudden tension in my belly caused me to stop suddenly, my hand instantly covering the bump, my smile returned as I felt the movement again, this time, against my hand.

“Holy fucking shit, Vic, the baby kicked,” I squealed as I looked up to her wide eyes, snatchign her hand and replacing it for mine, “Holy shit. Come on, lil’ baby, kick for Aunt Vicki.”

Vicki moved her other hand across the small swell and pressed in slightly, cooing as she did. The fluttering feeling returned, and she gasp as she felt a strong kick against her palm, “Oh, hi there, baby!”

“Oh my god, Vic, I gotta tell-” I started, but clamped my mouth shut before I finished the sentence. A rush of anxiety flipped its way into my stomach as I silently walked into my bedroom and found my phone, picking it up and unlocking the screen before looking at Vic as she leaned against the door frame. 

“This is so shitty, Vicki,” I sighed, slumping down onto my mattress as I spun my phone in circles to distract myself, “Why does this have to be so shitty?”

“I told you a long time ago this was going to get mess, Kylin,” Vicki snorted, adjusting her glasses before crossing her arms and stepping into the room, she sat down on the edge of the bed beside me and nudged me with her arm, “You’re the one that went and made it worse.”

“Thanks for reminding me, best friend,” I snorted back, nudging her as well, “Issue is, I don’t know how to make it better.”

Vicki shrugged, patting my leg and sighing, “I dunno, girl. Send Norman a text, I guess. Just come on, we have stuff to do.”

Vicki’s ‘stuff to do’ consisted of her dragging me through some all-natural, hippie granola crunch bar store that apparently had a great deal on biodegradable diapers. I groaned loudly as she loaded up a cart full of things I apparently wasn’t going to be able to live without as we shuffled through the isles, rolling my eyes at some of the things she was getting. 

“You’re fuckin’ ridiculous, Victoria, you know that?” I teased as my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and stopped in the middle of the isle, my eyes widening instantly. 

“Who is it?” Vicki asked, her brows furrowing in concern. I flipped the phone around in her direction to show her Norman’s face flashing across the screen. Her eyebrows shot up and she motioned for me to answer it, pointing that she was going to walk a bit further ahead.

I pressed the accept button as I began slowly walking forward again, leaning into the buggy that I’d been pushing, “H-Hello?”

“Hey,” He said quietly, as if he was just as nervous, “I got your text.”

“Mmhmm,” I hummed back, looking around as I approached the section with baby clothes, “That’s good.”

“Everything’s going good so far?” He inquired sheepishly, seeming to not really know what to say, “No issues or anythin’?”

“Not that they’ve told me about,” I said absently, reaching out with my free hand to touch a shirt that was made from some organic material I couldn’t pronouce, “I find out the gender next month.”

“Hmm,” He responded quietly, and I could picture him nodding his head before he suddenly said, “Hope it’s a boy.”

A loud snort left my nose and mouth as I shook my head, throwing the tiny hemp outfit into the buggie, “I do too, actually. Lookin’ at little boy clothes right now.”

Norman let his own chuckle trail through the phone line, and I had to stop myself from saying something stupid. Humming again, I pushed the tears that were threatening to pick to the surface (stupid fucking hormones) and investigated another outfit on a rack.

“You wouldn’t...wanna go to the doctor with me to find out for sure, would you?” I asked softly, surprising myself as another flood of nerves ran through my bloodstream, “I mean, I totally get it if not, I just-”

“I dunno if I’m ready for that, Ky,” He sighed, the awkwardness creeping through thickly, “Maybe after a while.”

“Okay, yeah...” I replied easily, putting another outfit in the basket, “Yeah, sure.”

“Look, I gotta go, I just wanted to...call and check in.” Norman offered, sympathy in his voice, “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Kay, thanks Norm, I-” I stuttered, catching myself and closing my mouth quickly before sighing again, “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye, Whiskey.”