#damn now that I think of it gale would probably be really fucking good at getting/making gifts

[brotherwtf]

Nah but sub! Top Bucky being a brat, Gale tying Bucky down and just riding Bucky and edging him until he’s sobbing!

Your writing is soooo good! I love it so much

THESE ARE HOLY WORDS SUB TOP BRAT BUCKY??? meet me at the altar rn this is basically a marriage proposal to me

nah but John is a BRAT, especially when he's had a couple of drinks in him. he'll talk back to Gale, maybe makes fun of him a little bit for not liking sports or drinking, but Gale is used to this so he doesn't entertain it

but John keeps pushing, keeps getting on Gale's nerves, keeps being like "what are you going to do about it? punish me?" think along the lines of the Stalag fight, fighting until he literally can't fight anymore

so when Gale finally breaks, he shoves John into their bedroom, forces him on the bedroom and says "yeah, I am gonna punish you. But you'd probably like it, you're a fucking whore for it," and oh, John is in HEAVEN

since he doesn't know when to quit, John keeps talking instead of playing it safe and shutting up, goading Gale and telling him he won't really punish John, he loves him too much

but Gale has this stern expression on his face when he grabs his ropes, forces John to strip, and of course when John doesn't want to spread his legs or arms Gale forcefully takes them and chooses to be rough with him

of course this is about the time where John realizes he's goofed, especially when Gale takes off his clothes nice and slow, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time

he does that thing that drives John crazy where he reaches across his stomach to lift his shirt up, pushing his ass out so it accentuates both his ass and his waist, and Johns basically pulling at his restraints because Gale looks so damn HOT, but he can't touch

he realizes this is his punishment, having to watch Gale pleasure himself while John can't touch him at all, and he's fucking gone, all bets are off

Gale would seductively crawl between his legs, suck him off while looking obscenely up through his lashes, making those obnoxious moans and gags as he takes all of John into his throat

he sucks and swallows until Johns bucking his hips up, he's so close and he thinks that Gale might just let him come, but Gale pulls off and shakes his head, climbing off of the bed to grab the lube

John's shaking at this point, he's so achingly hard he can hardly stand it, and it doesn't help that Gales purposefully bending over just so, god Gale is just being such a tease

Gale forces John to watch as he opens himself up, makes those same obnoxious noises from before just to make John go crazy, and the poor boy is whining now, begging for Gale to let him touch

but Gale just shrugs his shoulders, "you should have thought about that before you decided to be bratty tonight" and immediately bottoms out on John's cock

it punches the prettiest sounds from John, lovely little sobs and whimpers as Gale rides him, pressing his hands into the muscle of John's chest and squeezing, overstimulating him just so

Gale can tell John's close when his whimpers get even higher in his throat, so he pulls off right before John's going to come, cooing at the way John's hips thrust into the air to get some release

John begs and begs for Gale to let him come, but Gale shrugs his shoulders, tells him he should have been good, and orders John to put his clothes back on, he wasn't going to come tonight no matter how much he begged

[ieiwi]

Having the Gale Thoughts (tm) again - mostly about how much it seems like he is built around the idea of creation. Both metaphysically through magic ("I know its unreal but I made it for you") and literally when he does shit like cooks for the party and writes poetry. I know he even refers to his hands several times, which makes sense - they are his tools for how he creates in the world. Like, dont get me wrong I believe the guy does hella acts of service as a love language but man it seems like he really does like grand gestures in the form of making something for people as a sort of gift. Ngl thats why I just love him so much with a bard!Tav because they are by default an artist and there is that connection on the idea of *making* things. Like the guy talks so much about literature, poetry, and art that it feels like more than just an academic interest in it. Obviously though all PCs can connect to that in some way or another, I just have my biases because of how I play. Gale strikes me as someone who really is interested in people who add to the world and he just really really wants to be one of them. Partially because, yeah he *was* one of them he was a fucking arch-wizard. Part of me also thinks its because once he was recognized as a child prodigy he probably was expected to be that. Part of me also thinks its because his mother clearly loves to cook, and it was an act of creating that was passed down to him.

[blkgirl-writing]

Ahhhhh you are phenomenal! Do you have any more stray nsfw thoughts for Gale?

Oh my goodness I love this question!!! Um..I think… these are more random and much more detailed and graphic so beware 😩

More NSFW Gale of Waterdeep headcannons

He keeps thrusting hard while he’s cumming, grinding his hips against yours, milking every last drop of his orgasm

He Cums a lot, like my god does it make for a great cream pie

and he'd definitely just want to cum inside you

though it would be quite fun to tease him with keeping his cum on your face for a while after the first time he came on your face. You confidently walking back too camp while he followed closely "did you forget to wipe your face?" "love, everyone will see-oh, unless you wanted..that?"

he immediately gets hard again from that idea

Astarion would make quite a few jokes at Gales expense seeing the mess he made on you

and a few small comments on how he could do better

the next night Gale made sure to make you scream his name extra loudly, and wouldn't bother to cover your mouth to shush you

he has a hard time cumming from head, honestly. he loves getting it but he'd much prefer to be inside you

one you get to his real home, his tower, he'll want to fuck you in every single corner, on every single surface

his favorite probably being bending you over the kitchen counter but there's many favorites

Gale feels award not using his hands the whole time during sex, but specifically oral, both giving and taking

he will always be fingering you , or holding up your hips, or feeling your body, his hands will always be in use

and while you give him head he'll hold your chin or cup your jaw (isn't that just the prettiest sight)

and he'd tell you how well you're doing

lowkey compliments you so much because he wants to be complimented

Literally will walk much happier after you say he has the best cock/massive cock, anything really

And of course he's packing. Always well trimmed, solid 8 inches, perfectly curved

he doesn't even have to do much with a dick like that but he still treats you like royalty

Let's talk mutual masterbation ok

He's so used to his own touch from the time he spent alone that he definitely still needs to masterbate

but gods is he feel guilty

he'll tell you every time he wants to

and you'd just hear him moaning your name

before you were together one of his biggest fantasies about you was watching you make yourself cum

laying so prettily on his bed, spread wide

that thought would make him cum so damn fast

and also unable to look you in the eye for a whole day

he couldn't look at you directly for a whole week because of the nasty things he made up

he was masterbating quite literally every second he could manage to

to the point where he didn't really have any sperm left

thankfully he didn't have to wait long til you joined his fantasies

anyway

it became a very usual thing to grind on each other til you both came

it felt intimate and he wanted to feel you cumming on his leg

Absolutely licks his fingers after pulling his finger out of you

I think thats enough for now 😭

[istoleyoursk1n]

WAIT WAIT HERES ONE! All companions drunk off their asses in a karaoke session while Tav is the only sober one😭

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

Tav being sober while all the other companions are drunk off their asses in a karaoke session

(I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS HELP HAHAHA)

.

.

: ̗̀➛ ASTARION

Says he's only there for the drinks and to watch everyone else make a fool of themselves.

Ends up being part of the people who are being absolute fools of themselves.

He’s the type to say “oh I can’t siNg” only to grab the mic out of your hands and start balling out the lyrics of Bad Romance like it's nobody’s business.

He’s tame at first, enjoying himself as he watches the shitshow unfold but four drinks in and he’s already hoarding the microphone.

I like to think he somehow becomes better at singing the drunker he gets.

Accidentally hits high notes and he makes it everyone's problem.

Probably slapped someone by accident when they were trying to get the microphone back from his drunken ass.

He becomes far more expressive and loud the more he drinks which only makes it all the more fun to be honest.

Tried to have a sing-off with Wyll. Somehow ends up with Astarion threatening to bite him.

: ̗̀➛ GALE

Very confused.

He came here for bonding time with friends only to be surrounded by feral drunks.

He’s definitely not the one singing but Astarion kept giving him wine and he kept drinking and now he’s halfway into either drunk crying or drunk ranting.

He’s the type to start talking about his ex again once drunk.

Had a very informative conversation with the wall.

Fell asleep for about five seconds only to be woken up by the sound of loud screaming into the microphone wonderful singing.

He likes suggesting songs for the group to sing but he's not even including himself in said singing. The least he does is clap his hands.

Remember when I said he’d either drunk cry or drunk rant? Guess what, he’s doing both now and either Halsin or you are trying their damn best to support him.

Try to ask him what he's crying about and he wouldn't even know what the fuck he’s crying about. Proceeds to give you a long instructive speech about the importance of how one pronounces certain spells. (He accidentally activated said spell too).

: ̗̀➛ WYLL

He drank exactly one bottle of alcohol and called it quits. He’s practically as sober as you right now.

The most tame of the group by far but he hardly has any complaints about the chaos, he's having so much fun!

If Astarion isn't hoarding the microphone, he’s the one singing and he’s really good at it. This man can sing and he figured now would be the best time to finally show it.

He’s being as humble as he can but you can tell he’s putting in more effort than he should for a drunken karaoke party.

This man is literally singing each song as if he’s performing his own concert. Ten songs in and somehow his voice box still hasn't given out.

Started having a sing-off with Astarion and he could hardly take it seriously. He wasn’t even drunk but he kept laughing and when he laughs Astarion laughs and they both ended up becoming a mess.

He and Astarion were probably the ones bickering over who’d get to hold the microphone.

However, he always ends up giving the microphone to both because of his gentlemanly ways and this man can't say no to Astarion even if his life fucking depended on it.

HE SANG AN ENTIRE MUSICAL SOUNDTRACK.

: ̗̀➛ KARLACH

SCREAMING INTO THE MICROPHONE.

Don’t ever give her the damn microphone or pick any goddamn song less you want your ears to bleed.

She loves metal/rock songs way too much and she will death metal scream every single word as if she was being dragged back down to the pits of hell.

She’s drunk off her ass as well and it gets worse because she keeps finishing people’s left over drinks.

She’s so unbelievably hyper when she's drunk and in a festive mood that during the whole karaoke session, she broke the damn table.

She laughed so hard right after that for a moment she forgot to fucking breath.

She constantly has to stand up and move about or dance to the music because she just has so much energy in her right now. It's damn well impressive how she somehow never tires.

The thing is, her laugh is contagious so when she starts laughing someone else probably starts laughing as well and it all becomes an even bigger disaster.

Broke the doorknob on her way to head out and grab more drinks.

: ̗̀➛ LAE’ZEL

Didn't want to be there.

Everyone was so loud and obnoxious that it was honestly a tad bit annoying for her. She could have been doing something far more productive and instead-

Never mind that, now she's having a drinking contest with Shadowheart in the midst of all the screaming and singing.

Where did the shot glasses go?! Oh, its with her.

Suddenly, taking multiple shots of alcohol will help improve her tolerance to an array of different substances that may pose a threat to her bodily autonomy. That’s an excuse, she just doesn't want to seem unproductive.

Not the one singing at all but she keeps finishing the bottles before anyone else can even get a taste of them.

Surprisingly, she has a really high alcohol tolerance. She’d probably be 10 shots in and still appear as sober as you.

Though, please take the liquor away from her as soon as possible. When she actually gets drunk two things happen. She either becomes more aggressive than she ever was before or even worse, she becomes nicer.

Amidst it all, you may see a snicker or two come out of her, one that she’d be trying so hard to hide. Truth be told, she would have grown to love her chaotic bunch of weirdo friends and she wouldn't have regretted a thing.

: ̗̀➛ SHADOWHEART

Actually one of the people singing! When Astarion and Wyll aren't battling it out over the microphone of course.

Depending on her current mood, she's either going all out on Mitski songs or rocking it out with Karlach.

There is no damn way she went through the karaoke session without singing Washing Machine Heart.

Before she could sing another song, she was ever so quickly pulled into a drinking match with Lae’zel in which the winner was undetermined; because Karlach broke the damn table with the shot glasses on it.

There is no damn way she went through the karaoke session without singing Bring Me To Life, part 2.

When she gets really drunk she either becomes louder or eerily quiet.

She’ll just quietly sit in the corner and watch and sometimes it's just the creepiest thing ever.

But in the cases where she does get loud, she’s off laughing her ass off over the chaos unfolding right before her eyes. She would have been talking shit along with Astarion if it weren't for the fact that he was quite literally having a wrestling match with Wyll over the microphone.

Probably fell asleep after a while and somehow never woke up until the next day.

: ̗̀➛ HALSIN

Very confused 2.0.

He tries to refrain from drinking as much as possible because he knows just how embarrassing he becomes so he kind of just smiles and sits there during the first half.

Besides he really doesn't want to burden you with having to be the only sober person in the party.

The least he’d be doing is very subtly dancing to the beat. Do you know how dads would do those little awkward dances during parties? Exactly that.

Either you, Shadowheart, or Astarion coaxed him into finally drinking and things began to go downhill from there.

The thing is, when he drinks, he can drink a lot, it's just that he prefers not to. However, the real reason he can drink a lot is that he forgets to set a limit for himself especially when his mind is so scattered.

Became oddly clingy towards you in ways that you’d never expect. Suddenly he’s blurting out random things he feels about you and the others in the most wholesome way imaginable.

If it isn't you, he’s confessing his “”undying love”” to the first person he sees.

Stared at a plant for five minutes.

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

[pikapeppa]

Karlach/Dammon: Burning Blue

A wish fulfillment fic to answer the question: what if Dammon was the lucky guy to break Karlach's ten-year celibacy streak?

NSFW smut, ~7500 words, from Karlach's precious POV. This takes place the same night that Dammon makes Karlach very touchable again. 🥰 Read here on AO3 instead.

*****************

I’m nervous. Gods, I’m fucking nervous. No, no, don’t be nervous, Big K, you’ve got this. It’s nothing you haven’t done before! It’s just a good old-fashioned come-on, that’s all. Just a good old-fashioned invitation for Dammon to do the beast with two backs with you. No sweat, nothing to worry about, no reason to feel like your engine’s gonna thrum its way right out of your chest.

Ugh, fine, I’m nervous. I’ll admit it, all right? I’m nervous. But how can you blame me? It’s been a decade since I laid a finger on another living soul. One who wasn’t a hellspawn or trying to kill me, I should say. Yeah, the Avernus kind of laying-a-finger-on-someone is really not what I have in mind right now.

All right, there he is. I mean, of course he’s there, it’s his smithy setup in the barn, where the fuck else would be be? Shit, I’m so nervous. What if he says no? What if he doesn’t want to hit the bedroll with me? I might just crumble up into a pile of ash on the spot if he turns me down…

Ohhh, no you don’t. No more doubt. Not another negative word, you hear me? We’re doing this. Come on, soldier, shape up, be confident, all right? Just be your usual big beautiful bold badass self, just like Brynn said. Back straight, head high, tail-barb up: come on, girl, you can do this.

“Dammon! Hi! How’s the hammering going?” Nice, good start. Solid greeting, nothing weird about that.

“Karlach!” he says. “You’re back. I thought you were off to camp for the night.”

He’s smiling at me. Gods, does he ever have a nice smile. It’s like his whole face gets lit up with sunshine. And those eyes? Phwoar. I wonder if anyone’s ever told him how pretty his eyes are. Like two big blue jewels. Or like lightning turned into jewels. Wait, what’s all this nonsense I’m saying? I think I’ve been spending too much time with Gale. Ha, saying something would be a good idea right about now, wouldn’t it?

“Yeah, I’m back. I was wondering, do you — are you done for the day?” It looks like he’s done for the day. His forge is still hot, but it’s just coals now rather than a big old fire. Gods, I hope he’s done for the day.

“Yes, I’m just finishing up,” he says (yay!). “Did you need something repaired? I can rekindle the fire, it’s no problem—”

“No, no, all good. Everything’s tip-top, thanks to you. Listen, I was wondering: d’you want to have a drink with me?”

His whole face lights up, and my gods, I swear: if I had a heart, it would’ve done a fluttery thing like something from a romance book. “That sounds great. Let’s go on inside.” He hangs up his apron, and then we’re heading to the inn.

Yes! First step done, we’re off to a cracking good start! Here we go, inside the inn for a drink, just me and Dammon. How great is this? I mean, not that it’s not wonderful being with Brynn and Wyll and all the rest of those adorable little dumplings, but there’s something special to be said about being alone with just you and the person you’ve got mad horns for.

Here we are, at the door to the inn — and Dammon touches my shoulder. “Go ahead.”

He’s touching my shoulder. His hand, that strong callused hand on my shoulder. He’s touching me, he can touch me, and it’s all thanks to him. Gods, I want to ride him until the sun comes up.

Keep it together, Karlach. Stay cool until you find out if he wants this too. Ha, stay cool! I can sort of almost do that now! Enough for touching, at least, which is all I want in the world right now, and Dammon is touching my shoulder, and… and I should probably get inside the inn now.

I step inside — quick little rub of Darkmaw’s paw for luck. Ooh, Jaheira is still awake, I love her, she’s so damned cool!

Dammon leads me to one of the tables near the bar. “What can I get you? Wine? Beer? The beer is even cold, thanks to Jaheira—”

“Cold beer? Sign me the fuck up!”

He smiles — ugh, swoon! — and off he goes to the bar to find some beer. And here I am, sitting at this table, happier than the happiest clam that ever lived in the sandy banks of the Chionthar. Ha, that was a funny line! I mean, I think it was funny. I bet Wyll will, too. I’ll have to tell him about it — maybe he can add it to one of his stories!

Gods, this inn is nice: all candle-lit and quiet since it’s nighttime, real cozy-like. Perfect for telling a certain smith that he’s one of the kindest, warmest, most wonderful people you’ve ever met and that you fancy his pants off — literally, if he wants it that way. Ohh, I’m getting nervous again. It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s going to be fine.

Dammon comes back and sets down two steins. “Are you all right?”

“I’m better than all right. I’m fantastic.” I lift my stein. “Cheers to you, Dammon. For everything. I really mean that.”

Another killer smile. “Cheers back to you, Karlach.” He taps his stein to mine, then brings it to his mouth, and I do the same — ohhh, beer. Cold beer, my gods, I’d forgotten exactly how good this was! I take another swallow and another — okay, honestly, I am so thirsty. And now I’m out of beer, and Dammon is smiling at me, and no, no, I can’t throw myself at him across the table, I can’t.

He chuckles and puts down his stein. “Can I get you another?”

“Naw, I’m good,” I laugh. “This was great, thanks.”

He nods and rests his elbows on the table (hellooo, rolled-up sleeves and forearms). “So what did you want to talk about? Do you have questions about your engine?”

“No, it’s not that.” No fucking way am I thinking about that right now. “I wanted to ask if, um…” Don’t be nervous, girl. You’ve got this. “You said before that I was — that I’m… touchable. Very touchable.”

Oh no, his smile’s fading. “Yeah, I did. I’m…” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m sorry about that. Maybe I crossed a line…? This is a big — a huge deal for you, I know it must be overwhelming, the last thing you need—”

Wait wait wait! “Hang on, slow down. You think you crossed a line?”

“I… didn’t I? That’s not what you wanted to say?”

“Hells, no!” Woah, voice down, there are people sleeping in the room next door. “Are you kidding?” I say (quietly). “If that’s what you call crossing the line, I want you to cross all the lines.”

He looks gobsmacked now, which is really fucking cute. “You do?”

“Yeah, I do. I really, really do. If you want to, I mean. I don’t — I mean, I know I’m a lot of heat to handle, but I…” Fuck, my engine feels like it’s roaring. Please, gods, let him want this too. “I want to be with you, Dammon. I… It’s been so long since I was with anyone, and — and now that I can be with someone, I… I want it to be you.”

He doesn’t say anything. He’s staring at me like a fish, actually. Oh fuck, am I totally off base here? Noooo. “No pressure, though! No — I mean, if you’re not into… If I’m jumping the hatchet here, that’s totally fine, it’s not a problem—”

“No!” he blurts. “It’s not that. Believe me, Karlach, it’s not that I don’t want to. I mean — what I mean is that I…” He’s smiling again, thank all the fucking gods. “I would love to be with you, actually. I just… I can’t believe it’s me you want.”

I would love to be with you. I would love to be with you. He said that, right? Those were the words he said? Dammon the amazing smith with the amazing sinew-y hands said that to me, right? Oh shit, he’s still talking.

He gestures at me. “I mean, look at you. You’re Karlach. The Karlach, the destroyer of demons and devilspawn. You’re a hero.”

Oh my gods. Is that really what he thinks? “Wha—? Oh come on! It’s not like that.”

“It is like that,” he insists. “Haven’t you spoken to the kids? Mattis and Ide and them? I mean, I know you have, but you know they worship you, right? You’re like a goddess to them.” He looks around like he’s checking for spies, then lowers his voice. “Honestly? I think you’re better for them than a goddess, because you’re real to them. You mean something to them, Karlach. You’ve given them someone to look up to. That’s no small thing for a group of tiefling kids with no parents to look up to anymore.”

Fuck, I’m gonna cry. He doesn’t even know about Mum and Dad, and he hit the nail right on the fucking head.

He touches my hand — oh fuck, he’s not just touching my hand, but holding my hand. Turning my hand over on the table, his fingers sliding over my palm, his fingers curling into mine like he did right after he fixed me… Gods, my entire throat is full of fucking tears.

“I would love to be with you, Karlach,” he says in the softest voice. “If you’re sure this is what you want.”

Oh, hells. He’s going to make me weep. Swallow it down, soldier, gulp those tears down! “Let’s get outta here. Will you come back to my camp?”

“Actually…” Ooh, what’s this cheeky look on his face? Cute! “Would you be interested in a bed?”

What? No way! “A bed? You’ve got a claim on one of the beds here?”

“Sort of. Me and the other grown-ups have a rotation with one of the rooms upstairs. Taking turns having a little peace and privacy for a night.”

“You and the grown-ups?”

“Yeah — well, we offered to the kids, too, but they want to stay together on the main floor, where the Harpers are. Can’t really blame them, either. But anyway, um, what I was trying to say is, um.” He clears his throat. “If you’d rather use a bed than a bedroll, there’s—”

I’m already on my feet. “Bed. You and me. Now.”

He smiles — gods, that brilliant smile. And he’s on his feet too now, we’re heading for the stairs — oh my gods, he’s holding my hand again. Dammon is holding my hand, his fingers are between my fingers, how fucking nice is this? How long have I been thinking about this — no, dreaming about this? Easy, Karlach, keep those tears in your eyes.

He gives me a little smile as we walk up the stairs. “Fair warning that it was Rolan’s turn in the bed last night, so it might smell a little magical.”

What! Is that a thing? Gale and Brynn never said that was a thing! “Really? What does magic smell like?”

“Oh, no, I — I’m just joking.” Dammon smiles and rubs the back of his neck. “It was a bad joke. Sorry. Pretend you didn’t—”

I kiss him. How could I not kiss him? He’s so — oh, gods, he’s kissing me. His lips, my lips, his hands in mine, we’re — we’re kissing, we’re kissing! Dammon the smith is kissing me, and he’s… Would it be naff as all the hells if I said he was dreamy? Fuck it, who cares if it’s naff? He is gods-damned dreamy. As much as his hands are callused, his lips are so fucking soft, and I’m… I am melting. I swear, I’m melting, he’s making my lips melt apart like a hot knife in butter, he’s touching his tongue to mine… Gods, his hands though? How he uses them? This is fucking magic. His thumbs are sliding over my wrists, his palms skimming up my arms, over my shoulders, oh gods, oh gods oh gods…!

His hands cradle my neck, and his tongue slides into my mouth, and I’m — I’m… I can’t think. I can’t think, I can’t — I can just feel. I feel him: his lips his tongue his hands — how close he is, the nearness of his body to mine, I feel… fuck, I feel everything, every touch of his fingers and every stroke of his tongue, and I — he — shit, was that me? That little kitten-y sound: was that actually me? I’ve never made a sound like that in my life.

He breaks the kiss, presses his horns to mine. “Are you all right?”

I’m a puddle. I can’t talk. I just nod.

He smiles (arghhh, as if I’m not melted enough already!). “You’re burning blue,” he whispers.

Huh? “Huh?”

“You’re burning blue.” He rests his palm on my chest — oh shit, I really am burning blue. I… I’m burning blue but — but I’m not burning him!

“You’re…” My hand’s fucking shaking as I press it over his. “You don’t feel that? Not even a little singe?”

“Not even a little singe.” His eyebrows do that little mischief-quirky thing. “I told you, I’m good.”

I laugh. I can’t help it: I’m as giddy as a kid on her birthday. “Oh ho-ho, boy, you don’t know what you’re doing by saying things like that in a voice like that.” I step closer to him.

His gorgeous smile gets even bigger. “Or maybe I know exactly what I’m doing,” he says, still in that voice — oh, gods yes, his hands are on my neck again, so callused and so fucking gentle—

“Ahem.”

Fuck, Jaheira’s right behind us! “J-Jaheira! I mean, uh, ma’am!” Shit, should I bow to her? What should I do? She’s looking at me!

She smiles — the Jaheira is smiling at me! — then tilts her head. “Karlach, is it?”

She remembers my name! Snap to attention, soldier! “Yes ma’am, that’s me.”

She nods to Dammon too. “Dammon. Good evening. Let it be known that no one begrudges you your fun, but perhaps you should have it elsewhere that isn’t right at the top of the stairs. The only stairs that leads to the upper floor…?”

All right, now I’m going to melt from embarrassment. “Of course! Right! Uh, right! Uh—”

Dammon cuts me off, thank fuck. “Sorry, Jaheira,” he says. “We’ll get out of your way. Out of the way, I mean.” He takes my hand again, and I’m following him down the hall to one of the rooms: a simple little room with a nice cushy-looking double bed.

He leads me inside and closes the door. We look at each other. And we just crack up, we just totally — we’re both laughing like loons, just laughing so hard I can hardly fucking breathe. Augh, my ribs are starting to hurt, I’m laughing so hard!

“Here, sit down,” Dammon chuckles. He leads me over to the bed, and I let him guide me there.

Then I push him down and straddle him.

His gorgeous eyes get big. “Oh! Are you—”

I kiss him again — gods, he’s so delicious. Soft lips, hot tongue, strong hands: oh, I could just die for the touch of his hands. They’re circling my waist, they’re gripping my hips, they’re curling around my thighs… Fuuuck, gods, I’m sparking. Feels like everything’s sparking, like everywhere he touches is shooting with sparks, and I can’t… I can’t wait. I can’t wait anymore. I need more, I need his fucking hands, I need his hands on my skin.

I rip off my top and chuck it on the floor, and his baby-blues drop to my tits. “W-wow. I—”

I grab his collar and I shove my tongue into his mouth — fuck, his tongue tangling with mine: mm, just imagine feeling that sweet tongue in other places… Hellfire take me, I need this man more than I need air.

I climb off of him and start unbuttoning the ol’ trousers, and he grabs my hands. “Hey, hey. Easy, Karlach. Slow down. You don’t need to rush.”

Easy? Slow down? He’s kidding, right? It’s like I’ve never known the meaning of the word. “I…” Fuck, I’m breathing hard, I’m breathing so hard, and every breath feels like it’s making me hotter. Easy, Karlach, slow it down for him.

I gulp down a breath. “I hear you, soldier. But I have to tell you, I… Sometimes it feels like I’ve only got two modes: off, and on-on-on. I don’t…” Damn it, Karlach, breathe. “You might need to show me how to do this slowing-down thing.”

He smiles, and I swear, something inside of me absolutely melts. He’s got this way about him when he smiles, like his smile makes his face softer even when he’s showing his teeth, and it just… It’s such a special smile, you know? Like the way it feels when your mum watches you eating your favourite meal that she made? That’s how Dammon’s smile feels, and I swear on my life, if I still had a heart, it would be swelling up to five times its normal size.

He shifts off of the bed. “I’m happy to show you,” he says, and gods save me, he’s using that voice again. “Maybe I can start with…?” He gestures at my trousers and gives me a can-I? kind of look.

“Yes,” I say loudly. “Fuck yes.”

A big brilliant smile, and then he’s — ah, fuck yes, he’s undoing the buttons on my pants. He’s popping the buttons one by one, not even touching me as he does it, but I swear to all the gods, watching him do this is making me hotter than I’ve ever been in my life. And that includes when Zariel first put this fucking engine in my chest. No, don’t think about Zariel, forget about her.

Dammon pops the last button, then looks at me. “Can I take them off?”

“Please. Rip them off for all I care!”

He grins — gods, he’s a stupidly beautiful man. He’s pulling down my shabby trousers now, finally, pulling the damn things down over my hips and my ass and — oh. Oh my gods, oh my gods he’s kneeling in front of me this is not a drill!.

He sighs. “Karlach, you’re… really beautiful, you know that?”

He’s kneeling in front of me. Dammon is kneeling in front of me. He’s looking at me, his hand is curled around my ankle, and — oh, fuck me, his tail-barb is tracing my calf, his tail is coiling around my calf. His tail, his hand, his — even just his beautiful blue eyes on my skin: he’s seeing me, all of me, my bare fucking skin that nobody’s seen for ten fucking years.

“Are you all right?” His tail-barb strokes my knee, his hand squeezes my calf — fuck, I can’t cope with this.

I grab his shirt and pull. “Please, I — please, Dammon!”

He stands up. “What’s wrong? What can I do?”

I kiss him again. I know, I know, I keep fucking doing it, I keep sticking my tongue down his throat, but he’s so… I… Fuck, his hands are on my hips, on my back, he’s — shit, he’s stroking my shoulder blades. His fingers are tracing over my vents like it’s the most normal thing in the world to touch a woman with fucking vents in her skin, and I’m… I feel so… It’s like I’m full, my chest, my tummy, it’s like I’m so, so full — but it just reminds me of how empty I’ve been for so long. And I need him to… I need more. I have to have more. I need him to remind me of how good it is to feel this fucking full.

I grip his collar. “I need you naked. Right now.”

He laughs: argh, that laugh, how soft it is, how sweet! “I thought you wanted me to show you ‘slow’.”

“You can show me slow with your kit off.” I know what I sound like, I sound desperate as all the hells, but I do not fucking care. A river of blue heat is running through my veins, and my skin is fucking vibrating for more: more of him, more of his skin touching mine — gods, I want to slide against him like we’ve both been fucking greased.

“All right,” he chuckles. “You talked me into it.” He takes off his scarf, then starts taking off his vest, and I start working on his belt. I’m just helping, right? Just being a good old helper, that’s me. Ha, his belt is off, his vest is off, just a pesky shirt and trousers now — oh-ho, he’s a fast one with the shirt, we love a man who can strip like a fast-changer at the circus! It’s just the trousers left now. I grab for his laces —

Oh yes, he’s kissing me. His hands on my neck, his tongue so fucking sweet and slow in my mouth — gods alive, kissing is fantastic, so fucking fantastic it’s unreal. He’s pulling me close, his hands on my hips and his chest — fuuuck me Dammon, his sternal ridges are rubbing my nipples.

I can’t fucking cope. I can’t fucking cope, I can’t think, it feels so fucking good, I’m making that noise again like a hungry kitten begging for milk…

He peels his lips from mine. “See? I knew you could do it.”

“Do what?” I whimper. Yes, I whimpered like a kitten, all right? Whatever, shut up about it.

“You’re going slow,” he says in that voice. “You’re doing it right now.”

I’ve not a clue what he’s talking about. I’ve never felt less slow in my whole fucking life. “What do you mean?”

“My trousers,” he says. “You stopped trying to take them off.”

I burst out laughing. (It’s mostly hysteria, I’m fucking telling you.) “It’s not ‘cause I want to stop! I just can’t, uh…” Oh gods oh gods: his tail. His tail-barb is caressing my butt and giving me shivers — gods, what a life! When was the last time I got a shiver about anything? — oh my fucking gods, his tail is twining around my thigh.

I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I’m alive with desire, I’m so fucking alive, and all he’s doing is curling his tail around my upper thigh. But his tail is so close — he’s so close, the smooth heat of his tail curling so fucking close to where I’m burning so hot…

That kitten noise squeaks out of me again. “Dammon, please…” I stroke his chest — my palms on his chest, my fingers on the ridges of his ribs, I’m touching him. I’m pressed against him from thigh to chest, I’m pulling him closer with my tail, I’m petting the ridges of his back and his shoulder blades — ooh, he’s got wingtips!

“You have wingtips!” I gasp. “Aw, how lucky are you? My mum always said these were good luck!”

He laughs that precious little laugh. “My grandmother said the same. Said it means I’ll be able to fly in my next life.”

“Aww, I love that. Makes me extra-wish I had a pair myself.” I trace the sharp little hooks with my fingers, then keep running my hands over the ridges of his back. Damn, skin is amazing. It’s really an amazing, amazing thing, and nobody even bothers to think about how amazing it is. Skin and muscles, too, like these nice wiry ropes of muscles in his upper back and his arms… Phwoar, his arms are bloody fit. I mean, of course they are, he’s a fucking smith, but still: I didn’t realize just how damn fit he was under his clothes. And these veins in his forearms? The way they pop, and the burn scars on his forearms and his hands? He might even have more scars on his arms and hands than I do, which is saying a hell of a lot.

Hellfire fucking take me, he is gods-damned beautiful. The scars, the ridges of his spine and his sternum, the wiry muscle of his smithy’s bod — not just his body, either, but his jaw, his nose, that heart-melting jewel-eyed smile…

Oops. Embarrassing. I went totally silent while I was touching him. “Sorry. Went into my own little world for a minute there.”

Another soft laugh. “Don’t even think about being sorry,” he says, and he lifts his hand… Ohhh, he’s touching my cheek. He’s holding my cheek in his palm, just cradling my cheek like it’s a baby bird… How long has it been since I’ve had a hand on my cheek? A nice hand, mind you, not a blood-covered clawed hand trying to gouge my eyes out. Too fucking long, that’s how: too fucking long with no caring hands to touch me or hold me or hug me when things got fucking rough. But that’s all over now, thanks to Dammon. I can touch and be touched, I can kiss and be kissed, I can climb this rip-roaringly gorgeous man in front of me, and I swear to every god that’s listening that that’s what I’m going to do all night long.

I kiss him and pull him close with my hands and tail. I stroke his spine with my tail-barb, I lick his tongue like it’s the sweetest thing in all the realms, I rub myself against him like I’m some pent-up kid who doesn’t know what they’re doing yet, and it all feels fucking fantastic. And he’s touching me too, his claws scratching my neck so super-gently while we kiss, his hands on my back, my hips — wowee, his hands on my ass! I want that, yes more—!

He palms my backside and pulls me tight to his body — fuck, he’s hard. He’s hard he’s hard he’s hard, I can feel him rubbing against my ladybits through his trousers — augh he’s still wearing trousers, fuck my life upside down!

I break from his kiss. “Take your trousers off,” I beg. “Just take them off already, all right? I need them off, I can’t — I really really want them off!”

“I’ll take them off. It’s all right,” he says in this dreamy calm-soothing voice, and his tail starts uncurling from around my thigh—

Fuck fuck fuck oh my gods yes his tail is sliding between my legs. It’s — fuck, his tail, he’s petting my cunt with his tail, it’s sliding between my legs and stroking me as it unwinds from my thigh and oh my gods it feels so good, how am I supposed to survive—? “Mm ah fuck!”

His tail is gone. His arms are around me. “Was that okay?”

I am fucking gasping. “You tease,” I choke out.

He laughs, his lips close to mine. “Not a tease. I’m going to carry through, I promise.” Mmm, he’s kissing me again, he’s so fucking yummy, and he’s untying his trousers and I’m vibrating and I can hardly keep fucking still—

He pushes his trousers down and his cock is out. His cock, it’s hard, he’s hard — oh my god his cock. It’s gorgeous. I mean, it’s a cock, cocks are always a little funny-looking, I don’t know how folks who’ve got ‘em can cope with them, but Dammon’s is out and it’s gorgeous — fuck me yes he’s stroking it I want to do that.

I push his hand away, replace it with mine, and he gasps. “Ah—”

I kiss him. I’m stroking him, I’m walking him back toward the bed, he falls onto the bed and I’m climbing onto him and gasping into his mouth and stroking this thick pretty cock of his—

His hands are in my hair. “Karlach, slow down,” he gasps. “Slow down for a minute, all right?”

Fuuuck, fuck fuck, I can’t. No, I have to, I have to slow down for him. “Help me,” I beg. “I don’t know how.”

“It’s all right,” he pants, and he presses his horns to mine. “Just breathe with me for a second, okay?”

I nod. Breathe, I can do that, that’s totally something I can do. Just breathe. I close my eyes, I feel the sweet ridges of his horns against mine, I feel his breath tickling my lips because he’s breathing too, I feel — woah yes, that’s his tail. His tail-barb is tracing my lower spine, tracing lower still — eep he poked my bum!

I burst out a laugh. “You rotter!”

He laughs, too: fuck me, I adore his laugh. He’s laughing against my lips, his tail-barb is gliding down over my bum… oh fuck, it’s moving down to my thigh, around my thigh, drifting between my legs, is he going to—? Oh gods Dammon please yes!

“Yes!” I gasp — fuck, his tail, he’s petting my cunt with his tail oh my gods I’m going to explode.

“Easy, Karlach,” he whispers. His hands cradle my neck, perfect callused hands, fuck his tail is petting me, caressing me, touching parts of me that I’ve been dreaming of being touched for years — ah yes that’s the fucking spot right there, right there fuck right there yes!

“Dammon,” I mewl — yes, I fucking mewled like a cat, I’m mewling and my back is arching like I’m a bitch in heat, but really? That’s exactly what I am. I’m in fucking heat for this man. I’m burning for him, burning for more of this, burning alive with his tail petting that red-hot little button of love. Dammon’s breathing hard, too, his fingers gripping my hair and his hips moving under me while his tail-barb does its work between my legs. It’s like he’s getting desperate too, so desperate that he can’t keep still while his tail is petting me, and I love that he’s getting desperate. I want him to unravel just like I’m doing now. I want to hear him moaning, I want to see him bucking his hips for more, I want — I want him so badly, I want this so much, it’s happening right now and I still want it like it’s out of my reach. How does that make any sense? Why am I longing for something while it’s happening right now, right here, with this insanely beautiful man I’ve been fantasizing about since I first clapped eyes on him?

Oh fuck, why am I getting emotional?

He strokes my hair. “Hey, are you okay?”

Oh gods, there’s a moan to his voice already. He’s breathing hard like he’s the one being touched, like he’s the one who’s getting tail-fucked more perfectly than even my best fantasies — ah, fuck me, his touch, the way his tail is rubbing my clit just right, it’s so — he’s so, so fucking perfect, he feels so right, this feels so right: Dammon’s hands in my hair, his body under mine, his tail petting my cunt and his lips breathing into mine… My gods, I’m so… he’s so, this is, I’m… fuck, I’m so close, I’m getting closer, I’m going to fucking blow I’m going to—

Yes. Yes yes yesyesyesfuckmeican’tbreatheohmygods kiss me Dammon fucking kiss me—

His tongue in my mouth. Moaning, is that me or him? No idea, who cares, I’m a fucking inferno. Everything sparking, like lightning under my skin and scorching my throat in the best fucking way, all because of him.

His lips leave mine. His voice, husky and soft. “You all right?”

I whimper. Still vibrating. No words, can’t talk. Need him to fuck me.

He strokes my broken horn, strokes my cheek. “You’re burning blue, Karlach.”

I sure fucking am. Burning blue, burning alive in ways that I didn’t think I ever would again, and it’s all because of him. It’s all him, it’s Dammon — his sunshine smile, his jewel-pretty eyes the colour of a summer sky: I’m burning blue, all because of him.

I nuzzle his ear. “I’m going to ride you until you see stars, soldier.”

He laugh-moans. “Yes please. I’m all for that.”

He’d better be, because I can’t hold back now. I can’t do slow now. I am on, on-on-on like I’ve never been before, and I’m sitting upright on his lap and I’m stroking his cock while he grips my thighs — gods I want to taste him, I want his come in my mouth, no no I’ll save that for later, I need him inside of me right fucking now—

Fuck yes he’s inside me fuck yes. Dammon is inside of me, and he feels like fucking heaven.

He groans, and it’s the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard. “Gods, Karlach!”

I take it back: hearing my name like that is the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard. I stroke his chest — beautiful chest, beautiful ridges of his ribs — then I brace myself on his abs and start fucking him hard.

He groans, arches his neck in a way that makes me want to bite him (ha, don’t tell Astarion!): oh, my sweet fucking gods, he feels amazing. His cock is driving into me so hard, so sweet and hard that I’m making noise with every stroke, and he’s making noise too and gripping my thighs — ah, his tail, it’s coiling around my forearm in a way that makes my tummy flutter, and his eyelids are fluttering too like he’s really letting loose, which I love to see. I love seeing him like this, I love seeing him looking as good as he makes me feel, and fuck does he ever make me feel good. His thick fucking cock, the hot driving punch of it reaching so deep… Holy fucking hells, I missed this, I missed it so fucking much, and it’s so much better than I remembered. Dammon’s solid body under mine, his strong smithy’s hands on my hips and thighs, his tail squeezing my arm like the way he holds my hand, and those eyes: his beautiful eyes, the way he’s watching me under his half-lidded eyes while I ride him like my life hinges on his cock… Fuck me, did it ever really feel like this? Was it ever really this good?

Wait, wait a second: was sex ever this fucking good before?

I’m staring at Dammon now. Just staring at this kind and gorgeous man who’s filling me up within an inch of my life, and I… I don’t know that it’s ever been like this. I don’t know that it ever has been this good before. Sex is always great, don’t get me wrong, but it’s never… My gods, it’s never been like this. It’s never felt so… so close. So right. Fuck, it’s never felt as right as it does right now with him — how fucking weird is that? We’re in an abandoned inn in a place that’s been cursed to the shadows for a hundred years, and it’s somehow the most right that I’ve ever felt while being naked with another soul.

Wait, though: it gets even weirder. I’m with Dammon, an infernal smith who I might never have even spoken to if it wasn’t for the engine in my chest — the engine that’s slowly burning me alive. If I didn’t have this damned thing in my chest, I wouldn’t be here with him. We wouldn’t be here together doing this.

I’m having the time of my fucking life right now with the most wonderful man I’ve ever met because of something that’s going to kill me.

No, no no no, stop it brain, don’t think about it—

“Hey.” He’s sitting up on one elbow — no, he’s pushing himself upright and reaching for my cheek. “Hey, hey now, are you okay—”

I kiss him. I shove my tongue into his mouth and grip his neck, and I fuck him like there’s no tomorrow. I fuck him like this is it, like this is the only chance we’ll have and I have to show him how much this means, how good this is and how good it is because of him, because it’s him, Dammon: it’s Dammon’s body under mine, and his hand and his tail holding me, it’s all him, and I need him to know that there’s nothing I wanted more in this world than to be with him.

He breaks from my lips with the most incredible groan. “Ah, Karlach—”

I nuzzle his ear. “I want you so bad, Dammon. I want you more than anything.”

He groans again — gods, if only you could bottle a noise and keep it for later. “I’m all yours. I promise.”

My gods, what a promise. What a thing to say, what a thing to hear from someone who’s so fucking good. And now I don’t know what to say, my tongue’s a knot, my throat’s getting thick — gods, just fuck him already, just wring the pleasure out of him like he did for you.

I fuck him. I’m riding him hard. I’m bouncing on his beautiful cock and staring at his beautiful face while it crinkles up with pleasure — come for me, Dammon, I want you to. I really want him to, I want his come more than anything in the world, I want him to let it all go inside of me — oh yes, good boy, he’s getting even harder, he’s getting harder inside of me oh my gods fuck I know he’s going to come—

“A-ah, please, y-yes—!” He kisses me, Dammon is kissing me, his tongue thrusting into my mouth and his hand firm at the back of my neck, he’s shuddering and pulsing deep inside — yes, I can feel him giving me his come, and I want it all. I’m fucking hungry for it, for every last drop of him, every little bit of proof that this was me and him together: Dammon and Karlach, Karlach and Dammon, two hells-touched tieflings finding our little place of light among the shadows.

He breaks our kiss and presses his horns to mine again. “Gods,” he pants. “Gods alive. You are… incredible.” He laughs, this husky I’m-out-of-breath-because-I’ve-been-fucking kind of laugh, and I swear I’d give my unbroken horn to be able to hear that laugh every day for the rest of my life, no matter how long or short it is.

He leans away a little and strokes my hair. “How are you feeling?”

Gods, look at him: he’s perfect. He said I was burning blue, but I swear on my life, his eyes are incandescent. They’re the brightest, most electric blue I’ve ever seen in my life, and it’s like they’re scorching my soul, branding this amazing moment deep into me so that it’ll never be forgotten, no matter what comes next.

Fuck, I feel so full. I’m so… my chest, my throat, my entire fucking soul feels full. Oh no, my eyes feel full too, oh no — don’t do this, Karlach, don’t you dare.

“I—” Oh fuck, I’m sobbing. I’m sobbing? Why now, why?

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Come here, it’s okay.” He’s tucking my head against his neck — oh my gods, I’m falling apart. He’s hugging me, his tail is stroking my back like he’s comforting a child, which is funny ‘cause I’m weeping like a baby. No, not weeping: I’m fucking bawling. That’s fantastic, Karlach, that’s just great, let’s just bawl all over the gorgeous smith while his cock is still in me.

Okay, that’s kind of funny, but… Fuck, I can’t stop crying. It’s all just coming out now, everything, all the stuff that’s been going on: the tadpole, my engine, the shadow curse and how fucking awful it is here, Lae’zel almost dying at the crèche and Mizora being a fucking bitch to Wyll and Astarion making his snarky little jokes like he’s not dead-scared of Cazador. I’m just fucking sobbing, I’m howling for me and them and everything, and more stuff keeps coming out: Gortash, Zariel, Avernus, Mum and Dad — everything, it’s just fucking everything, it’s all the things, so much shit I haven’t cried about for years, and it’s all coming out on poor Dammon because he’s hugging me.

Dammon is hugging me. He’s just hugging me while I cry all over him, hugging me tight like I haven’t been hugged in fucking years, and I don’t know if I can stop.

I do stop, eventually, when it feels like every tear in my body is on his neck instead of in my eyes. When I finally stop crying, he speaks. “Are you all right?”

Gods be damned, his soft voice, his hand petting my back… He’s going to make me cry again. “I’m okay,” I say. “Stuffy, but okay.” I lift my head — eurgh, yep, lots of tears and snot on his neck. Real attractive, Karlach, really sexy stuff.

“Sorry.” I wipe my face real quick and start wiping his neck. “Sorry. That’s gross. I’m so sorry—”

“Don’t be sorry,” he says. “You needed that. There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Oh hells, now he’s wiping my cheeks… Did someone make this man on purpose to turn me into the world’s meltiest puddle? He’s wiping my cheeks and looking at me in that so-soft way with his beautiful soft eyes… Oh boy, I’m a goner. If I wasn’t already all fluttery for him, I’m a total loss now.

He strokes my shoulder. “Do you have to head back to your camp?”

No way. I don’t want to go back. I want to stay here with him and make this night last forever. Don’t say that, though, you’ll sound like a limpet. “I can stay for a while,” I say, all casual-like. “If you want, I mean. I — unless you have to sleep? You probably have to get up early for the forge—”

“No, no,” he says quickly. “I can get up whenever, that doesn’t matter. Either way, if you — if you don’t have to get back, maybe…” He clears his throat — aw, he’s looking shy! Why is he looking shy? “Maybe you’d like to stay the night? With me, I mean?”

He wants me to stay? He wants me to stay! “Yes! I mean—” Oh gods, I’m laughing now. “Yes. I’d love to stay with you.”

He smiles — oh gods, that killer smile. He’s going to destroy me with that smile before the night is through, I swear. “Great! That’s — that’s really great. Okay.” He laughs a little and strokes my arm. “Maybe I can take my trousers off, if that’s okay with you?”

“Your—?” I twist around on his lap to look — ha, oh shit, his trousers are down around his calves, and he’s still wearing his boots!

I laugh and climb off of him. “You didn’t take them off? Bit eager, are we?”

“Me? You didn’t give me a chance! So much for slowing down.” He’s grinning now as he pulls off his boots, and he’s so damned pretty that all I can do is smile back at him. Gods, I really am a goner.

He drops his boots on the floor. He’s totally naked now, naked and warm and perfect, and I don’t want to waste another second not touching all of that perfect naked skin.

I straddle him and wrap my arms around his neck, and he smiles and strokes my hip. “Back for a second round already? I’m game, but I’ll need a little more time.”

I press my horns to his. “Dammon, I…” No, Karlach, don’t say it. Don’t tell him what you’re feeling, it’s way too soon. It is too soon, right? It’s too soon to know if this is just lust or if it’s something more, right? Something so much more, so much bigger that it feels like it’s filling my entire damn body… I can’t know yet for sure that this is what I think it is, can I? Fuck, I’m breathing all shaky. Stop it, K, don’t cry again, just don’t.

He strokes my neck — gods, his magical hands on my skin, I can’t get enough. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “Take your time. Talk when you’re ready.”

I nod, and I kiss him. For the dozenth time tonight, I’m kissing Dammon, melting under his soft lips and tasting his tongue and feeling every inch of my skin coming to life under his hands, and I can’t be fucking bothered with talking. Who cares about words or talking or even thinking when there’s this, when there’s him? Not me, that’s for sure. All that matters is being here with Dammon, skin-to-skin with him like all my hottest dreams, and I don’t give a shit about anything else.

Tonight, I’m burning blue for him. And that’s all that fucking matters.

[chaoticbardlady99]

Darling, Never Stop Haunting Me

(Spawn! Astarion x F! Ghost Reader)

Chapter 8: A Brief Intermission

CW: Mentions of voyeurism

Disclaimer- put together the picture for the banner, but I do not own any of the pictures. I did take the picture of ‘Birdie’ and Astarion on my PS5

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Thank you for all your support and love!

(The fun stuff is next)

Chapter 7 : Chapter 9 : AO3

  Astarion walks up the steps to Gale’s tower- finally well fed and some of his aggression burnt out. The contract hadn’t been the hunt he was anticipating, but thankfully there was a group of unlucky bandits just outside the city walls.

  He had considered staying out all night- just clear his head- but he couldn’t stop thinking about you and how he just wanted to be next to you again already so here he is- like a kicked dog who will never be worthy of you. 

 He knows he’s only prolonging the inevita-

“You utter moron!” 

  Tav stands in the entrance way in her slippers and the dorkiest pair of pajamas Astarion has ever seen. He’s glad she rejected him so long ago- her and Gale were truly made for each other. 

 “Wh- what!?” He sputters, “what did I do!?”

“ALONE TIME!” She yells while throwing her hands in the air, “ALONE TIME, ASTARION!”

  Astarion can’t help the perplexed look on his face. Alone time? What the hells does that mean?

“What in the wretched hells are you talking about!?”

“You don’t get to cry about how much you loveeeee Birdie and how she could never possibly want you when SHE DOES! And THEN YOU GO AND SCREW SOMEONE IN A BROTHEL AND PUSH HER AWAY!?” 

  Ohhhhhhhhh- alone time. I probably should have- wait, she does?

 “I-“

“She moved out of your room- by the way. Or at least she’s trying to,” Tav shakes her head, “I tried to convince her otherwise but her suggestion was then to go to a Tavern or Hostel which I figured you would not be happy about.

“But she feels humiliated! For Gods’ sake Astarion- she played all of your favorite songs in front of a crowd of people putting in requests? That is a Bard’s love language!!!!!!!! How are you not seeing it!? It’s like reading a romance novel about two idiots who just need to have a conversation!”

  This is… a lot of new information at once. He didn’t realize playing the songs he liked was intentional and meant for him to see that you have feelings for him or that you have had feelings for him this entire time.

“TARA EVEN USED TO TEASE HER ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME!” 

  Tav is acting like it’s the end of the Gods damn world; Astarion supposes he did put her in a really really weird spot. 

 “I didn’t know.”

  Tav sighs heavily and pinches her brow, “look- I know you didn’t know, but I think you should talk to her before she’s allowed to sleep on her decision overnight. I doubt that will help the situation.

“And I don’t know how much longer my spell on her bag is going to last- she is still trying to drag it out of the room.” 

  He bids Tav a good night and begins the walk up the stairs.

“Oh for fucks sake,” you curse under your breath, “how did this bag get so heavy all of a sudden- or am I just- weaaAKKKK-“

 *THUD*

“GODS DAMMIT!”

  Astarion watches as you try to pull your massive bag around the corner and proceed to fall on your back- hitting the ground defeated. 

  You take a shaky breath before getting back up. You’re crying and you look- well, heartbroken. Oh great, now he’s trying not to cry. Astarion isn’t sure he likes this whole, “being in love thing,” he has never been so emotional about another person’s feelings in his entire life. 

  He needs to come up with a way to amend this and fast. 

“My darling,” his voice barely above a whisper, “please don’t leave our room.” 

 You jump about five feet in the air- definitely not expecting him to be there. When you finally do acknowledge him- all he sees is hurt. 

  Remember- she has feelings for you and you for her. Just breathe and act like nothing has changed, then go at your own pace until you are sure, Astarion thinks to himself, slow, slow, slow. I need to make sure Tav is right before I blow up our entire relationship on one bad assumption.

“I- I think it would be best if I moved rooms,” you say, avoiding his eyes, “I….”

  You are fidgety and uncomfortable- you blink and just stare down at your shoes. Astarion wants to break the silence, but he can’t. He wouldn’t even know where to start, but maybe reassuring you would help?

“I wasn’t with anyone else,” he says clearly, “I went hunting- I wanted to head back as soon as I was done.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to get back to you, of course.” 

  You look hopeful- wiping away the stray tears.

“Oh.”

 There is far too much space between you both right now and Astarion amends this problem.  He engulfs you in a massive hug- holding you tightly to him. If Tav is right, it will be a miracle, but for now? He will begin making small steps in that direction. The wedding is three days from now. Maybe he can plan a date before then? That would be doable- maybe? He’s going to have to ask Tav for advice tomorrow.

  “Now,” he says with a soft smile and a teasing tone, “can I please help you get your pack back into our room?”

  You nod quietly and follow Astarion into the room. He sets your bag down and begins unpacking it- putting everything back in its proper place. 

  You are sitting against the headboard- tapping a book with your fingers nervously. He discards his armor- cleaning himself off in the bathroom as quickly as he possibly can and then joins you. 

  Except he decides to be a little more bold. 

  Astarion straddles you from behind- your body slotting perfectly in between his legs and he hesitantly wraps his arms around your waist. He places his head on your shoulder and peers at the book. You are relaxed against him- the tension in your shoulders melts away and your tears are now completely dry. A sigh of relief leaves your lips- you must have been very worked up. It’s usually Astarion sighing, not you. 

 “Is that our new book?”

  It looks awful- you must read it.

 “Well- here’s the thing,” you say sheepishly, “I tried reading the first few chapters, but it’s honestly kind of terrible. It’s some book about a man who falls in love with a Bhaalspawn, but it’s basically really in descriptive, poorly written torture porn from the bit I’ve also skimmed through.”

“You depraved, little freak,” Astarion teases, he can feel you blush even more from the way your blood races in your neck, “I didn’t think you had it in you!” 

“Oh, I don’t, but the main character certainly does.”

                   *******************************

   Tav eavesdrops from her and Gale’s balcony- those two lovesick fools kept a window open and she was able to use her magic to listen in. 

 Tav had absolutely no idea how to handle the situation earlier. She knows, Gale knows, Tara knows, and even the general fucking public seems to know that Astarion and Birdie are head over heels for one another. 

  She can even hear it in the way he’s laughing at something Birdie said just now. 

  Astarion is her closest friend and she is thrilled to see him so happy, but so so frustrated that he won’t just say something. They could be having a romantic moment right now instead of giggling like a couple school girls in their room- AGAIN!

 “Any hot gossip?” her favorite person asks, “or are we accidentally engaging in voyeurism for once?” 

  Gale is suddenly squished up against Tav- his ears straining to hear what Astarion and Birdie are saying to each other. 

  Gale has been equally as invested- to the point where he would prefer to feel uncomfortable trying to ignore the sounds of love making than continue to watch this painful dance between the two of you. 

“Unfortunately, no voyeurism,” she shakes her head, “I really thought he would FINALLY say something, but NO! It’s back to normal as if she hadn’t just tried to move into another room or that he just found out she’s in love with him!

“He is hopeless! I am going to have to enlist Karlach and Shadowheart to get this ball finally rolling.”

“Why not Wyll and Halsin?” Gale frowns, “or me- your wonderful, genius fiancée?”

 “Oh, my Heart,” Tav kisses him sweetly, “this is a women only kind of job- Astarion isn’t going to listen to you three.”

“I suppose that is- HEY!” Gale exclaims, “HE WOULD LISTEN TO ME!!!!!“

“LOVE- NO HE WOULDN’T-“

  “WHY ARE YOU GUYS SCREAMING UP THERE!?”

  Tav and Gale peep over the edge- Astarion is glaring up at them through the window with the hatred of a cat that was woken up from a nice nap. 

 “Uh hm, we- we,” they look at each other in a panic, “WE ARE ARGUING ABOUT WHO IS GOING TO BE A BETTER DANCER DURING OUR FIRST DANCE!”

 “TAV,” you yell from inside the room, “GALE HAS TWO LEFT FEET!”

 “I DO NOT HAVE-,” Gale scoffs and throws his hands in the air, “you lot are insufferable!”

  Tav giggles as Gale 'angrily’ storms off and her heart is warm from the laughter below. She could not be more excited to become Gale’s wife. Hopefully her dumbass friends figure it out before then.

  Maybe it’s better to just let them figure it out in their own time or maybe, just maybe, Tav can whip up some wedding day magic and it will be so damn romantic that they will be forced to reveal their feelings. 

  Or she could just find a way to make Astarion jealous. 

Jealousy or romance?

  Jealousy, that’s probably the best course of action since blatantly telling him didn’t.

  Halsin would be very good at that- he is probably the only one out of all of you that Astarion would be worried about, but Astarion also thinks you deserve someone more like Wyll or Karlach- fun, easy going, knightly. So she isn’t sure. Maybe use all of the above?

  Maybe if he could see you reject them- he might pull his head out of his ass and realize you only want him.

***********************************************************************

Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to be on the tag list! I am using the Ghostwalk campaign for NPCs, locations, etc. It is a 3e Campaign and doesn’t mirror 5e Ghosts. I have tweaked some of the ghost powers and such for the sake of the story, but if you would like more information on Ghostwalk and the City of Manifest, there is a PDF online that is free to download :)

Tag List: @n3rdybirdee @fandomarchiveilyd @dajeong @hotmesshobbit @godoffuckedupcats @bitchstarion @hereliesblackdragon @pebble-bb @preciouslittlebhaalbae @lavvyan @beepersteeper

[mosses-gate-3]

How does Andis, Salix and Ren feel about kids? Do they like them, or just find them annoying? Are they any good with kids? Would they ever want kids of their own?

Bonus question: Tell us about their kids if they ever have any!

okokok I did do a similar ask a bit ago with Salix & Andy BUT! I have been thinking a ridiculous amount about regale children

Ren I think is surprisingly good with kids. One of their biggest strengths is keeping a calm, neutral outward appearance in stressful situations, and I think that translates over really well to childcare. They enjoy spending time with the kids at the Grove. As for whether they'd actually want kids of their own:

I don't think they and Gale can physically have bio kids together, nor do they want to. But I was thinking about them and children and a thing came to me.

“So you remember the egg from the creche, yes?” “…The one we put in a bag of holding six years ago and forgot about?” “…Well, I'd say it was less a random choice and more a calculated decision made for the good of the egg and our group, but yes - I've been researching and it’s fascinating, really, Githyanki eggs can incubate for extended amounts of time in the Astral plane due to a number of unique conditions and, theoretically, this property extends to pocket dimensions such as those created by a bag of holding. It’s been a dream of mine to study the precise conditions that make this possible for years–" "Gale, love, didn't you say this was urgent?" "Right! Yes. It’s hatching.” “It’s WHAT.”

...And then they go around frantically calling up Lae'zel and the others, and there's an impromptu six-year-anniversary reunion while they try to figure out how the fuck to take care of an egg baby. Featuring Dadstarion... NOT.

After he's safely born they all have a very long conversation about who should keep it. Wyll and Karlach are the obvious first choice but they're dealing with a lot of change at the moment (Wyll's training to become Grand Duke and they're moving back in to Baldur's Gate and aren't in a place for a baby yet.) Lae'zel is still fighting a civil war, Shadowheart has a lot on her plate already, and I wouldn't trust Astarion anywhere near a baby let alone with CUSTODY of one (see previous). So Ren and Gale keep the child and name him Xan. Look into his dead, soulless eyes.

They all try to stay in his life in some way. Lae'zel visits when she can. Shadowheart is like a cool wine aunt who's always around. Astarion is like a cool wine aunt who's never around. Karlach and Wyll, Wyll especially, are practically co-parenting the kid. He's not in the right situation for kids right now but he will be the best damn babysitter this side of Avernus.

But fear not, because in a couple years the two of them will have kids of their own! DAD WYLL LIVES IN MY BRAIN RENT FREE OKAY. I think their names are Talia and Jayden and they're raised very close with Xan, he sees them as his younger siblings and is very protective of them.

Here's Xan and Jayden! Talia is probably behind them. At this point Xan's about 10, Talia is 7 or so, and Jayden is around 4 or 5.

Xan inherited Gale's expressiveness and tendency to gesticulate, and Ren's logical mind and speech mannerisms. I think he's generally very responsible. Other than that he's hardly similar to his parents at all, he doesn't care for academics much and most likely becomes a melee class later. They're very proud of him anyway; it's probably for the better he didn't turn out Mystra's next Chosen or something.

When he gets older he and his siblings set out to become adventurers! Talia is a cleric of no deity in particular (that is a thing you can do I looked it up apparently the power can just come from something you really believe in) and Jayden's a sorcerer (I have Karlach classed as a wild magic barbarian in my playthrough which is where he gets it from.) Xan is a paladin, I don't know which oath, probably Ancients or Devotion. I'm currently working on aged up designs for them, I'll reblog this with them when I'm done.

That's pretty much all I have so far but this is pretty much what I consider canon after the game, at least in Ren's playthrough! I'm sure they'll be excellent parents. Even if they did forget a literal living baby in their bag of holding for SIX YEARS... But it's fine there was a lot going on. Thank god for the weird githyanki physics I made up.

[thedeviltohisangel]

Ahhh so many thoughts. I humbly offer:

1. Cass comes before the march and sees Bucky. I love the thought of Cass in the Sheepskin to keep warm and the idea of the oh shit now what when it’s announced they have to march. Maybe they try to keep a little bit of distance on the march because they don’t want the German officers to find out about her, but once the planes start shooting, all bets are off. Thats when he THROWS himself on top of Cass. And them saying their vows to each other again!? I would die.

2. I feel like one of the only ways this goes down is Cass being physically incapacitated. I think she and John probably argue for a hot sec, and come to the agreement that she doesn’t have to go over the wall FIRST (Gale goes before them both) but she WILL be going before John. I think she gets shot (non-life threatening) and that subdues John REAL quick. She has to deal with a gunshot would for the rest of the march and in the new camp.

Anywho, can’t wait!!

I accept your thoughts with my own utmost humility!

I like the idea that before the march we can get a few little camp scenes of them. (ex. the washing scene that has me in a chokehold has led some EVIL PEOPLE (who know who they are) to ask me about John keeping guard while Cass washes) or something less evil like her beating the men in cards for hours on end.

They try to keep distance also because John is angry af over her putting herself in danger. He is distraught over her well being and the plane really just snaps something within him.

Yes, I agree they argue about 'well whats the fucking point of me going first when I don't want to go without you' and there has to be some damn good reason. Does Cass see the gun pointed at John even though he told her not to look back or do we really want the angst of Cass being injured?

I leave it to you heathens.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 25 and 26: Confrontation and Re-creation

Since both episodes are out, I will review them both. Time to find out if the finale can bring it home

Spoilers below

-Gabriel and Tomoe think they are doing this for their own good. Should have called this episode Delusion.

-So they giving everyone nightmares, at least Adrien isn’t alone in suffering

-Ladrien dream was actually Marinette in ladybug armor. It looked cool but I wanted Ladrien

-Gabriel died in the dream, still don’t get how that’s a nightmare. (Marinette really forgot chat blanc existed

- okay Marinette’s parents dreams are adorable. Tom you sweet man, and Sabine care about their children and eachother.

-oh snap, Alya’s nightmare. Actually realistic and terrifying. For her at least.

-Tikki saw the food. Get it girl.

-Adrien technically been dealing with it the longest… but now it’s not special. Everyone be suffering

-they have a tech antidote for nightmares

-Damn, that is disturbing. And Adrien will probably use it… baby no.

-Okay he resisted. Good for him. Well it wasn’t an order, but still. Adrien is trying.

-Plagg mocking Gabriel.

-Plagg gonna be a menace today

-how many rings does that robot have

-Adrien giving up his miraculous out of despair. What a surprise, he’s gonna be out of the final fight. At least for now. Plagg gotta go get ladybug.

-Tikki ate all them bread. Respect

-“it’s not personal, it’s for Adrien.” That’s PRETTY FUCKING PERSONAL

-Nathalie’s nightmare is basically Gabriel winning. Glad she realized the truth on that… even if it was too little too late.

-Nathalie got a crossbow. KILL GABRIEL WITH IT

-oh damn, I knew all meditation apps were evil!

-Plagg flying across the ocean to get to Ladybug. Plagg will always be the light of my life

-Ladybug finding out Nathalie was A Lara croft

-Plagg gonna be smart about this

-Alliance showing why tech companies are all evil

-THEY ALL DOWNLOADED THE APP! NOT THE RESISTANCE. NOW NO ONE CAN RESISTANCE

-MYLENE THE GOAT! Mylene has shot up so much in my favorite classmate rankings

-Ivan's nightmare sounds adorable

-Mylene start slapping them please. NINO MUST BE DEEP HYPNOTIZED

-NO MYLENE DONT DO IT! And she dropped down in my rankings again

-Damn it, she was tricked by her friends

-Gabriel's cliche speech to Emilie. Blah blah blah. WHAT MORALITY?! YOU WERE ONCE A BRITISH CHIP MAKER?!

-NATHALIE GONNA SHOOT HIM! DO IT! END THIS MAN NATHALIE

-Gabriel really did the 'Appeal to her humanity' then betray her. Dude said he threw away his morality.

-Imagine the last thing you see is that ugly ass costume

-Ladybug learns Nathalie had all of the stuff

-Ladybug just saw that Monarch was Gabriel. Damn. I think thats a first

-Gabriel really just out here slandering and then leaving her with the poison app.

-DID NATHALIE JUST FUCKING DIE?! SHE GAVE EXPOSITION AND DIED

-Okay this is silly how they are turning everyone against Ladybug and Chat noir

-WAIT IS THAT FEI!

-Im convinced every adult in this show is an idiot.

-Oh good, alya is being logical.

-Oh wow, okay so the charm and Cataclysm that gabriel got actually are useful to his plan. Well played. Now die

-OH That is evil. Miraculize me.

-Damn it, i wanted cat alya.

-They tracking her.

-Well I gotta admit, the Alliance minion making is probably Gabriel's most effective plan. But like all plans, the women involved did the heavy lifting

-Ladybug hid by detransforming

-Gabriel is a little TOO enthusiastic about going to find a vulnerable teenage girl in his house

-Plagg finding out that Monarch was in his house the whole time.

-LADYBUG CAT NOIR UNIFICATION!

-KICKED IN THE FACE!

-BUG NOIR!. Okay so I am very mixed on the outfit, but the entrance and that confidence is stunning.

______________________________________________________________

(This is my reaction before watching part 2, so here is my quick thoughts)

For all the stakes and reveals. If I were to rate this by itself I would say... 7/10. I dont like how Adrien is absent for this whole thing. I really hope that this changes and Adrien somehow gets pulled in. Because quite frankly... THIS IS A BIG THING

______________________________________________________________

Okay now for part 2, recreation

-Oh its Lila or Cerise or... WHOMEVER THE F*** SHE IS.

-Seems Alec also had a s*** father.

-What is Lila even doing?

-SHE DROPPED A PIANO ON HIS HEAD! Beautiful

-She's beating his ass!

-Meanwhile back on the boat.

-Rose showing why she has CRAZY ASS STRENGTH

-WANG BE SMACKING BITCHES WITH HIS WOK!

-OMG, SU HAN TRAINED JAGGED STONE AND PENNY IN KUNG FU. Which means luka too.

-hold on, so NO FERNANDO!? 0/10. Needs more fernando.

-BUNNYX! Taking Luka to Paris.

-"I cant interfere, but YOU can."

-Please tell me Fang also knows mirakungfu

-HOT DOG DAN!!!!! THE GREATEST HERO OF ALL TIME! 10/10

-Oh right, Majestia too. To a lesser extent.

-Majestia makes a point.

-Yo, they gave Knight owl an upgrade.

-So basically Majestia and Knight owl are if Super man and Batman were lesbians.

-Monarch does have a point. He has 15 miraculous.

-I do enjoy Monarch getting flipped and kicked

-Did he just cough up Dust? Oh he is dying in real time

-Doesnt he look so redeemable (Sarcasm)

-BEAT HIS ASS WITH A SHOVEL!

-Darkowl was saved

-YO! I just realized that Eagle is the perfect counter for this power.

-Alya's sister split a building in half

-Power of the buffalo. I think the sub meant bull

-Bug noir brings the house down

-FANG!!!!!!!!!!! MVP MVP

-Luka has a cute name for his sister, thats adorable. Okay only 2/10 now

-Also this proves Mirakung fu is easy as hell to learn. so WHY DIDNT SU HAN TEACH LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR!

-Su han, "How can you resist the nightmare."

-Knight owl: "I am the nightmare." That is so batman its hilarious

-FEI COMES IN LIKE A F***ING BEAST!

-Why even use any other transformation, the Dragon is so OP.

-Okay so The typical back and forth between hero and villain. Yea this was expected.

-Adrien wouldnt want this. Adrien wants that. You know who should have a say here? ADRIEN! That would be nice.

-Marinette is clearly more right, obviously. but I still wish Adrien could speak for himself.

-Okay so the heroes are getting widdled down, lila is hacking into the mansion

-Yo! she got a ton of rings with glue and a boomerang. Nice

-She knocked the butterfly off. (which is my bet on how Lila got it)

-So bugnoir won. Nice!

"Check mate." DAMN That was a hard line drop

-And then its ruined because Ladybug sees this guy only has a few hours left to live.

-What is she doing?

-Marinette what the hell are you doing?

-You mean to tell me that Nathalie could have just tied his ass up earlier and made him watch it and that probably could have prevented the whole events.

-But lets be honest, the only reason Gabriel feels the way he does right now is because his plan failed and he is dying

-IT TOOK A 30 SECOND CLIP. 30 F***ING SECONDS

-Yes, you did ruin everything. Now die sad.

-Gabriel is like "You make the wish"

-AND Marinette gets betrayed. She tried to Steven Universe this bit but ended up Venomed.

-Well at least Gabriel is still a dick.

-Reveal yourselves?

OH DAMN! THEY LOOK SO FUCKING COOL!!!

-I can see a certain group of fans being happy with these designs.

-GIMMI. THE KWAMI OF REALITY?!

-Oh damn so thats their fused form.

-Wait, why didnt Ladybug and Chat noir just summon their kwami's god forms to fight?

-Gimmi is a whole ass mood

-Gabriel, you dont deserve to be remembered as a good father. You were s***

-So Gabriel wins. yea this f***ing sucks

-Universe gets wiped

-WTF. Its a utopia?!

-Adrien gets two moms

-Glad everyone is having a grand old time but... wtf

-Oh look a NORMAL BABY!

-There are so many jokes I can make here but I will abstain.

-THEY GAVE GABRIEL A F***ING STATUE

-A world without Gabriel agreste meme here

-I really want to see this utopia completely uprooted and turned into chaos more than anything

-It sucks because there is some PRIME adrinette moment right in front of me, but it just feels like Adrien is left in the dark and gaslit.

-A cute kiss. But something seems wrong

-So they fixed the miraculous but the butterfly is missing (called it)

-Wait, Everyone gets a miraculous now?!

ALSO NO REVEAL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

-Even Sabrina?!

-Wait, so Argos is allowed?! but how though?!

-Wait, how many endings does this episode have?

-Lila back at it again

-Wait... What the f*** happened?!

_________________________________________________________

Okay so this was a b**** and a half to finally watch

But yea. I do NOT like how this basically gave Gabriel his win.

Yea he's dead but he won.

Adrien has no idea that his father basically did that, and it makes the whole fight seem pointless.

Then there is all that utopia crap. (DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS. )

The adrinette is sweet and all that.

But ADRIEN IS BEING GASLIT. Its some bulls***

Also how does Marinette remember the wish? Wasnt it supposed to be some cosmic rewrite?

All I know is... I need some time to think. Do I even want to continue watching ML. Knowing that Gabriel wins and gets treated like a martyr.

Season 6 needs to start with some sort of Upheaval. Consequences need to be had.

As for my rating.

I cant give it an honest rating right now. I need to cool off.

Is it the worst written? No. But the ending has pissed me off

it feels tainted.

[cityandking]

spark enough to last the winter

branwen + star wars au. 2.6k for hypothermia prompted by @forcekenobi. sabine and middy belong to @snapdragonling. set loosely after this meeting. // angst prompts

Of all the ways to go, it wasn’t the one Branwen would have bet on—though stupidly, on an uninhabited world should probably have been somewhere on the list, given the sort of shit they got into these days. It wasn’t even the worst way to go, objectively speaking. It was only a little inelegant for her taste. She’d have been irate about it if she’d had the energy to spare, but irritation fueled no fires and didn’t help much with the snow or the wet or the smoldering crash pod she’d left three klicks back, dug into the icy crust of one of the planet’s massive oceans.

The cliffs hadn’t looked that far from back there, when it had been the choice between waiting for the pod to sink through the thick sheet of frozen whitecaps to the waters below or find some modicum of shelter among the rocks. Now, three klicks closer to shore, she’d realized that was because the cliffside was so fucking huge that her sense of scale had simply given it up as a bad job and fucked off, much like her rations pouch and the handy little emergency transponder she’d lost down the trough of one of the massive frozen waves.

At least she'd had the good sense to turn it on before it had gone fumbling from her numb hands. Not that it would do much good. Things had fallen apart in a spectacular fashion back on Abregado—as they often tended to do when one mixed good honest business practice with the tight squeeze of Core corruption—and they’d been forced to split and reconvene. Which was fine; the backup plan to get to Eriadu had been straightforward enough, except that the Luckrunner was with Sabine, and Enikö was somewhere in the bowels of the spaceport, and Bran’s clever ploy to hitch a ride with a crew of Barabelian longhaul shippers running the Rimma Trade Route had hit a snag when one of them found her napping in the cargo hold. It was thoughtful of them to have provided an escape pod, of course, and she’d been sure to tell them so after letting loose their cargo of live Gedonian ground weevils and fighting her way through the mess to commandeer the pod on their behalf.

So really, it was her own damn fault she’d ended up on some ice encrusted backwater halfway out of the Mid-Rim, a few hours and a prayer away from freezing to death.

"Suppose you'll say 'I told you so,'" she said to no one, or thought she said anyhow. Her lips were numb and her face stiff, and it was impossible to hear herself think over the howling gale, much less speak. And there wasn't going to be anyone around to say I told you so anyway, because of the uninhabited frozen tundra planet situation.

Staring death in the face was, as it turned out, a fairly bleak and lonely exercise.

She couldn't say how long it was before she reached the cliffs, only that she knew she had to make it, and so she did. Her feet were leaden in her shoes by then, and her hair had soaked through with snow and frozen again, so that it made a sort of ticking, tapping sound when the locks swung together. She'd even worked up something of a sweat, more than a little overheated in the standard-issue emergency parka she'd found under the jumpseat, and the only thing that kept her from taking it off was a sour, spiky voice in the back of her head that sounded remarkably like Sabine, muttering, Don't be an idiot.

"I'm hardly the idiot," Branwen retorted, struggling to catch her breath. The wind howled even worse here, butting up against the rocks and looping back on itself, but there was bare stone too, and when she squinted she could just see a ledge at about the height of her head, sheltered from the worst of it. As good a place to collapse as any.

Sure, snorted the Sabine-voice. That's why you left the nice cozy crash pod to walk across half an ocean.

"I did not. There was the thing, you know, with the." She waved a hand, then thought better of it when her grip slipped a little on the stone wall and she nearly went tumbling down again. Instead she wedged a foot in further and heaved, forcing herself up over the lip of the ledge to sprawl onto her back.

With the what?

"What? Oh. I don't recall." Just breathing hurt, though she couldn't say if that was from the landing or the cold. Pins and needles inside her lungs, throat aching. Cold, probably; she didn't think anything was broken. She blinked up at the cliff, the massive unending spur of craggy, wind-washed rock. It wavered a little above her, and she flinched automatically, but nothing fell, not even a stone.

Don't just lie there, said the Sabine-voice, peevish. You dragged yourself all the way up here, at least use the shelter.

"You've really got a way with words, love." Still, it took her another handful of heartbeats to shiver herself upright and tuck into the crevice she'd been aiming for. With her back to the stone and her knees draw up tight, the wind wasn't nearly so bad. Her head fell back against the cliffside, heavy, and it probably ought to have hurt a bit but she didn't feel much of anything besides the chill.

Well done, said the Sabine-voice. Now what?

What an excellent question. "Can't say."

Excellent plan.

"I don't see you offering suggestions."

Not nodding off, maybe.

Oh. Branwen blinked her eyes open with a mild sort of surprise. She had been a bit dozy, hadn't she? Bad idea, that; she remembered that much from her Academy training. For a moment she fumbled to pinch herself, but she couldn't feel her fingers nor her arm through the layers of cold and standard-issue parka, so that was a bit of a nonstarter. She peered out at the frozen ocean instead.

At least it wasn't storming, not really. The wind was horrible, of course, and the clouds were low and thick, and the snow pattered down in bursts, but everything was mostly just... there. It was even a little beautiful: the white, the silver, the endless ice-capped water as far as the eye could see. Not the worst place to go.

"Suppose I should have held on tighter to that transmitter," she said, mostly to have something to say. "Going to make it mighty difficult to find me."

What happened to believing in our mystical Jedi powers.

"It's hardly magic," Branwen huffed. Her breath puffed up in front of her, but even that was cold. She'd stopped shivering, she noted distantly; likely she ought to have been more troubled by that than she was. "Anyway, I don't think your life sensing bit works if I'm dead."

Maybe you should try a little harder to keep alive then.

"I'll see what I can do."

What she could do wasn't all that much, though. She pulled her arms and legs in tighter and tucked her chin down, bundled as small and warm as she could manage, but it made little difference. Her body was a distant thing, heavy and icy and dragging, and it was monstrously hard to keep her eyes open. The frozen sea danced and dimmed in front of her, and that was only partly her fading vision—it would be night eventually, and the cold would creep in and steal her away into sleep.

"It's a pity, though," she said, mouth pressed against her knee. "I did rather think you'd be with me, at least."

She felt the sigh at her ear, breathless, and Sabine said, Me too.

Bran smiled. It wasn't much of a smile, but she felt it anyway—and a touch of warmth too, somewhere deep in her chest. It was barely anything, a echoing memory of an ember, but in the overwhelming cold, it burned merry and bright.

This time, when her eyes drifted shut, Sabine didn't prod her about it. If she let herself drift, Branwen could almost imagine she really was there—a slight touch against her arm, the feel of someone wrapped around her, keeping her sheltered from the wind and the cold.

"Keep talking," she said, a senseless mumble of wasted breath. "Tell me a story."

That's your job, Sabine grumbled. But then she said, Fine. Once upon a time.

Bran would have laughed if she'd had the energy for it. Instead she only listened to the voice on the wind, carrying words she couldn't hear. Outside it roared and whined, and light flashed, and maybe there would be a storm after all. It didn't matter. She was hardly even cold anymore—only tired, so tired, and full up with Sabine's voice, a thread of warmth spooled up inside her, the last flicker of a dying star. It was a small comfort to have Sabine's presence here at the end, and Sabine's hands on her frozen cheeks, and Sabine's eyes glaring at her, and Sabine's expression twisted up with desperation as she shouted over the wind, "You bloody idiot, wake up!"

"Oh," slurred Branwen, pleased. "You're here after all."

"I'm going to kill you," said Sabine, and then behind her was Enikö too, wasn't that lovely, and a small, bright-eyed woman in a garishly orange jacket, and that was... No, wait. What?

"Oh," said Branwen again, less pleased and more confused, sluggishly trying to put two thoughts together and coming up with six, or perhaps negative one. "Sorry. What's going on?"

"Stop trying to talk," said Sabine, who was not telling her a story nor wrapped around her nor a voice in her head, but a real and solid thing, nose and cheeks pink and eyes dark and sharp as knapped flint. "And keep your damned eyes open. Kid, the medbay—"

"Yes," said Enikö, and his head disappeared, and Branwen tracked him blearily to a familiar bulwark of silver metal parked precariously on the ice, which was even more confusing. What was the Luckrunner doing here?

"This can't possibly be the afterlife."

"Stop talking," Sabine said, sharp with something that must have been exasperation but looked surprisingly like fear. "Just— Let me work."

Bran had no idea what she meant by that, but then came a wash of— She didn't know the word for it. It was the feeling of the jump to lightspeed, and also the shape of her mother's smile, and also the everyday wonder of waking up to Sabine lying next to her. It was the first sip of Corellian brandy and the relief of seeing Enikö step out of the caves on Ilum with a crystal cupped in his palms and the adrenaline rush of a close escape. And it was the world entire, the whole of the galaxy, and also the simple, familiar feeling of Sabine's hands against her face, one with the Force, buoying her.

Branwen stopped talking. There was nothing more she could have said.

It took all three of them to help her down from her craggy ledge—Sabine and Enikö and the bright orange-jacket woman they'd collected along the way. The medbay was ready for her when they got her into the ship, and she was grateful to miss the sting and stink of the bacta when they slid her into the tank, and afterwards she slept long and hard and woke to Sabine at her bedside.

She looked as though she'd fallen asleep, head hug low, except her eyes were open and bright and sharp when Bran met them, and all the clever things she'd meant to say evaporated on her tongue, and in their place Branwen said, "Are you alright?"

"You're asking me?"

Branwen gave her a look, pointed. She looked like she hadn't slept—which was not an unusual look for her, but was more unusual these days. Sabine shook her head and snorted, then shrugged as though heaving off some great weight.

"I heard you," she said, blunt, and made a face that Branwen couldn't read. "Felt you. When you were down there. In the Force."

"Oh. That's... unusual?"

Sabine snorted again, which was a yes. Branwen hummed and sank back against the pillows.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. Branwen turned the idea of it over in her head, but she knew little of the Force, and minded its meanings even less. If Sabine said it was strange it was, but it wasn't exactly her strangeness to bother about.

The harried, hunted glint in Sabine's eye, though—

"I'm alright," she said. "It was an impressive rescue operation."

Sabine made another face, a worse one, and Branwen struggled to sit upright. Sabine grumbled at her and helped with the pillows anyway, and Branwen caught her hand before she could pull it away.

"If it's a bad thing, the Force bit—"

"It isn't." She took a deep breath, bracing. "I— It reminded me of— I would prefer not to feel that again."

Branwen took a long, careful breath around the sudden, welling grief. It was a familiar thing by now, and only half hers—but the trouble with loving a Jedi was that it was impossible to only love one of them alone, when they were too tangled in each other to ever be wholly unraveled.

"I'm sorry." She meant it, deeply and fully.

Sabine nodded, and then she said, "It will happen again."

Branwen couldn't deny that. It wasn't just them, after all. It was them and also the deal Branwen had made to a man with a starbird patch on his sleeve that echoed the symbol of the Order, wings raised in flight. The promise to strive for something better than any one of them. That part Branwen wasn't sorry about.

"I'll be more careful."

"No you won't."

"Of course I will. No more solo escape pods."

"If that's your way of warning me next time you'll be exiting a ship without an escape pod—"

"I think they call that disembarking. Most people do it after landing."

"You're not most people."

"How sweet of you to say," Branwen preened, but then she sobered and squeezed Sabine's hand. "Turned out fine, yeah?"

"If you call six hours in a bacta bath fine."

"Could have been worse." Sabine had been in far worse positions, Branwen didn't point out—that was ammunition for another time, not now, not the sliver of tender fear being so cleanly, clearly offered. "A dashing Jedi came to save me."

Sabine didn't roll her eyes, but somehow she perfectly gave off the impression that she could have, and still might. Warmth flashed in Branwen again, a deep and welling and endless thing, spark enough to tide her through a year of winter nights.

"And I supposed Nikö was there too. And— I feel terrible, I didn't catch her name. The orange one. Are we picking up strays again?"

"Hardly we," Sabine said. "The kid made a friend."

Branwen's eyebrows climbed up into her hairline. "Oh?"

"Ask him about it," she said, but her expression was all smugness, which was a delight. And to think, she could have missed this.

"I will. Help me up? I'd die for a cup of caf."

"Please don't," Sabine said, but she eased an arm around Branwen's waist and helped her out of the medbay and into the galley, where Enikö and the orange woman—whose name was Middy, who had helped them off Abregado, who had a familiar sort of keenness about her—waited for them.

[welcome-to-the-end-of-eras]

Live Reading: The Mars House by Natasha Pulley

Some initial (spoiler-free) observations for now:

1.) desperately missing the style of publication from twofs and tbs, book covers that come off are my biggest opp

2.) Edward Cullen lookin ass cover I kinda love it

3.) absolutely love the fact that The Bedlam Stacks is officially part of the Watchmaker series even though Mori is in like 3 scenes, he’s so powerful

Off the bat, it's really interesting to see the way January interacts with what is our present like it's something ancient. The way he describes the "ruins" of London and various places around that people today may even live in, as if it's centuries old. Idk what year this takes place in but I feel like it's going to be like 2030 or some shit lmao

I already read the leaked chapter so I'm just going to skip it, all in all though I like January so far. He's a little less...I don't want to say compelling, but he doesn't have as much of a distinctive personality off the bat as Valery or even Flint, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Plus he's like. Actively in crisis, so I'm going to give him a pass

He does have the gen Z tendency for nihilism tho, moreso than the other mc's, and I really like it

Oh wait no he's not even gen Z he's like. Gen Theta??? This is farther into the future than I thought, which is good bc it was a lil depressing to think it was this close to the present and everything was flooded (I mean we're still boned but I was expecting the time period to be like. A very likely 2027 or something.)

I honestly really like the way January isn't content with the small things in his life that make him miserable like the other mc's. He's a Complainer. He's literally me-

"It was fine as icing sugar." ??? Girl are we getting some freaky future ghost shit again??? Please???

I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T-

MORI AND DAUGHTER??? I'M GOING TO PASS AWAY-

I will be crying about this forever

Six taking over the shop but keeping her dad's name attatched...BEING CANON??? We STAY winning

"There are moments when you come so close to another future you can taste the air in the courtroom." GIRL SHUT THE FUCK UP RESPECTFULLY I'M ABOUT TO START SCREAMING-

Wait these exoskeleton things sound cool as fuck, I wonder how hard it would be to make one for cosplay purposes??? Probably pretty tricky (and knowing myself I would never finish it) but it still seems really fun to make

Damn he's really scared of not wearing that thing, my poor baby :((( ugh I really do like him a lot so far

Ohhh wait I thought wearing the suit was to protect him, not to protect others??? I misread

But he's still really that scared of hurting anyone else :((( he's my baby I've decided

I feel like I'm not going to like Gale much off the bat bc they're going to be rude to him, but I'm sure I'll grow to like them more. I mean I didn't much care for Shenkov off the bat but I adore him now so

Not to get Prentious-English-Major-y, but it seems like a running theme in this book is getting over the shame of taking up space in the world. January is constantly being reminded that he needs to stay in his place and not cause trouble for others, and it's so engrained into him that he can't help but panic over a simple mistake that could've been corrected with a gentle warning. But it also wasn't a gentle warning; the guy in the elevator fucking yelled at him!!! Immediately!!! I get the notion that it was a matter of safety for him, but January was far away from and couldn't have possibly hurt him, and he still yelled. Coming from the lense of a queer man, it's very reflective of the homophobic idea that queer people can't even be trusted in public because they're "sexual deviants" and the like, or even going back to the 80s when people thought that AIDS was transmitted through just skin-to-skin contact. Idk. Food for thought.

Honestly??? The way his thoughts keep circling back to the way everyone was horrified of him on the elevator is the most accurate way I've ever seen someone describe anxiety attacks

What tf is up with the pink elephants??? New tattoo idea just dropped???

Ooo interesting monetary system for the trains. I went into Boston to get my copy and they started doing a similar thing on the green line (the only train system that runs above ground, so they can't really stop people from not paying to get on) and it kind of reminds me of that. It's definitely not that similar, but it's enough that I made the connection

Creepy Government Programs Meant To Completely Cripple Minorities Just So They Can Access Slightly Worse Basic Rights They Should Already Have...totally not realistic...haha...not at all...

Only a year??? January...buddy...you've been here for 600 days...

Oh wait no I just looked it up, a year on Mars is actually about 687 days, nvm, fuck me I guess

The whole conundrum of naturalizing vs just using the cage is vvv interesting, and is also reminiscent of the way disabled people are encouraged by society (and warned by medical professionals) to undergo drastic surgeries to cure their disability

Damn so going on the train cost him a half hour of work??? That's kinda nuts. Although if it's a longer distance train it's not as bad, but it seems like it just went from one part of the city to the other

Oh??? Hello??? He has a crush on his boss??? Honestly she sounds like a milf I don't blame him-

I feel like the release button of his suit being over his heart is going to be important and dramatic and it's going to make me cry

Idk how to word this properly but like. January being motivated to eat more and train for ballet again bc he's just overall happier with Gale may just (happily) destroy me, the same way tlfop describes Thaniel getting a lot stronger over the course of four years bc he's eating more and started boxing and that, but I feel like it'll be different bc him being married to Gale will offer him the privilege to do that kind of thing while others aren't awarded the freedom

The group physical therapy before work is kinda nuts, we should honestly do that at my job too

Honestly the way they're describing these work suits is kind of a serve, especially with the cool skeleton lookin thing around it, that would make such a fun cosplay

Senator Gale in the mix too!!! Vvv excited, even though I know January is going to do some fuckshit on tv with them

I KNOW January is pretty af I know it in my soul

"Great power to be had from ogling." I'm love Val sm-

Love that she included how to pronounce Mx bc it always throws me for a loop. Also...McWang??? Girl-

I really do not know what I expected from the woman who managed to get the word "octopussy" in three of her books

"...so that he wouldn't think about how much he would have loved to see someone shove Audrey bloody Gale off a cooling tower." DAWG-

He really fuckin hates them wow, their public persona must suck

Oh also random thought I forgot to include a bit earlier, but is it like. Genuinely illegal to assume people's gender in this society??? That's kinda based actually. Fox News would have a field day. "ThIs Is CoNfIrMaTiOn Of ThE fUtUrE tHeSe LiBeRaLs ArE lOoKiNg FoR." Ugh I hope someone shows them, that would be fucking hilarious (obviously no one should tho bc I sincerely believe there are some idiotic people who would start sending Natasha death threats over it and I don't want that).

"...and do everyone a favour by turning immediately into goo." Jesus fucking Christ dude-

I hope January beats the shit out of some of these people I really do-

Hehe puffweens

Ooo the Mars citizens fashion seems fun

"Thirteen year olds were, of course, terrifying monsters..." thirteen year olds are extremely lame when you get to know them but I do get the anxiety (I say as someone who worked with them for over 5 years)

He doesn't want to scare anyone :(((

First he's comparing Gale to the devil, and now he's saying they look like a god??? Make up your mind dude

"He followed the news like a bloodhound when it came to Gale." My good bitch you are so definitely into them-

The fact that Val has to bribe January with chocolate to not throw a brick at Gale is so...I'm love them so much

[alpydk]

"Fanfic Writer Ask Game"

Oh you want it, you got it! We're into deep, we're into deep❗ 👏😆I want to know it all

❤️💥👻👓🦈🌻💛💭🧪

Oh damn! You got it, you precious demon of chaos! Love it!

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

I have too many that come to mind, The eclipse moment is the obvious one, but that's technically 2 lines so going to with this from Disgusting, tainted, used - "You’d made your bed, and now you had lain in its ethereal sheets." - Such a simple and common phrase but altered slightly and the guilt/self blame behind it sticks with me bad.

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

I'm honestly stumped. Like I know, I want more of the Gale/Durge confrontation after the coronation, especially if you're romancing him, but that's not so much a change. I think I'd want the Mystra stuff changed, if anything. I'm not getting on either side of the discussion and what needs changing, only that it needs some proper planning, so there isn't a discussion. Maybe just a better timeline, who this Mystra really is in the scheme of things rather than just metadata and speculation. (Yes, I've seen the many posts.)

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

That Aradin is a lawyer. He's given it up thinking that being an adventurer would be easier, and this is why he has a (probably very detailed) contract with Lorroakan. He wasn't a talented lawyer, instead one of those intro to the Ace Attorney type prosecution lawyers that you'd get for free. It also explains why he's not that good in a fistfight.

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

Music, particularly if it's not in a language I speak, so Kpop, Breed 77 (Spanish), Rammstein (German). Things like that.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Elminster by far. Take a normal sentence, flower it up, flower it up some more. Is it understandable? No, then you've not gone far enough. For someone like me who's very straight to the point, writing him hurttttt....

🌻 How often do you read your own fics?

Quite a lot, actually. I'm a huge fan of my own work. I've got everything I like, excess angst, likeable characters, and I update my fics often. Why wouldn't I read it all the time?

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

That I'm writing for me and me alone and fuck the haters. Like really, as someone who is extremely sensitive to the reactions of others, learning this (and still learning it) has been the most important thing. I still have days where I don't see the notes tick up and I think why do I bother, but then as I'm writing it, sitting in that imaginary world of my creation, I realise that I'm happy anyway, and I don't need other people's validation to have that.

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

Music is a big inspiration for me. I might hear a song or see a lyric and think that suits X character. How can I get that to fit in a narrative sense? And from there it just builds up. The entirety of Eclipse was based on one song alone.

🧪 Do you research for your fics?

I might check up on something if I'm unsure, colours for example or what the name of a specific thing is. I know for Ink Stains I had to look quite a bit into codependent relationships to make sure I was hitting the topic correctly, like I had my own experiences to go on, but it didn't feel enough.

Right anyway - Rugan isn't going to save himself at this rate but thank you for the ask. I really don't get enough (shameless hint to those reading this :p)

[tulip-simp-artist]

BG3 Spoilers for all the quests and big bosses of the game

So I've been reading people's thoughts on how while all of the villains in the game disliked/hated in some way, most have their odd charms that make people like them. All except Cazador, even though he isn't the most evil character in the game, for most of the fandom and how this might be tied to the way the fandom treats Astarion. And I do think that is part of it, but I think there is something else to it too.

So you are learning about Cazador through Astarion from Act 1. And he makes it very clear in Act 1 that if he could kill his master, he would. As a new player, it is pretty easy to then put Cazador on the "to be kill" list with little information on why he is so evil. Like, even if you just have Astarion as a companion and are playing a somewhat good character, you're likely to prepare to kill Cazador.

From here, you can learn more about him through Astarion, and that literally just adds reason to killing Cazador. You know he is not a good person and in a good aligned mind, killing him benefits more than just Astarion. It prevents Cazador from continuing to abuse people and make new spawn.

Now add on to the fact that Cazador is one of the only characters that you can give more than a "fuck you for treating my companion like shit" to. Cazador can be dealt with in the game and killed.

Look at Mizora, also learned about in Act 1, you get to actually meet her too, follows a similar path of learning more about her throughout the acts. Yet she isn't hated as much? Why? Because you can't get vengeance against her for trapping and manipulating 17 year old Wyll in a contract. You can't harm her. If you don't save her at Moonrise Towers, you are damning Wyll to the Hells. You have to play nice with her. You can hate her, sure. Even if you do free Wyll from his pact, you can't go stop Mizora from manipulating another poor soul into a contract.

Mystra? A literal goddess who the game does not let us touch. And keeps implying that if she dies, so does the weave. You don’t even get to sa fuck you to her face, you say it to Gale’s face and he's the one who's been told to kill himself. You also don't directly hear anything bad about her. Gale sugarcoats it for a long time.

Shar and Viconia? Well, again, much like Mystra, Shadowheart spents all of Act 1 and 2 praising them both. So neither are yet put in the "kill on sight" list because if you're a new player, you probably don't know if you can get Shadowheart to turn against them. One is again a goddess, who you can sort of say fuck you too, but she is petty enough where you may not want to. The other you only get implied information on what she may have done to your companion. So by Act 3 Viconia is probably on the list, but even I, my first play through, went in a bit blind to the abuse she put our cleric through. I learned for implications to that after I killed her.

Then there is Vlaakith, who again you know of in Act 1, but you aren't going to catch Lae'zel dead saying anything bad about her. You have to play your cards right when you do encounter her or else risk losing your companion. Which isn't too hard to do but is nerve-racking to do in a first play through... speaking from experience. Again the most you can do is say fuck you until you learn of Orpheus. Then it seems like you might be able to add her to the killing list, but then someone has to become a mindflayer and you don't get to see it happen.

Karlach has Zariel and Gortash. Zariel, you both hear is a terrible person and is a devil, so it goes without say. But it's pretty obvious that killing her is out of your league, and beyond that, Karlach wouldn't want to because that means going back to the Hells. Like I'm sure if she could she would, but maybe settling on a much of fuck yous and being out of Avernus is enough for now. Now Gortash, for one, you really only start learning about in Act 2. So you go into Act 3 knowing he is a part of the working of the Absolute and that he sold Karlach to Zariel. Not much else, but he automatically gets put on the list, assuming you don’t fall for his bargain. Act 3 is a bit disjointed with clear direction on how, where, and when you are supposed to learn ALL of the shit that man has done. I know I missed a lot and then kept learning things a bit out of order. Safe to say there are a lot of reasons you should kill him, but you're learning them from like 12 different sources and killing him can also just feel like necessity and getting Karlach vengeance is a bonus.

Ketheric isn't connected to any companion quests except maybe Minthara? Idk haven't played with her, so I can't speak to it. And Durge. Sure, you need to kill him to finish Halsin's quest, and obviously, Jaheira wants the man dead. But he is another one that the game just leads to you killing him. You need to kill him, whether you want to and go out of your way to kill him, doesn't really apply here.

Orin will only correlate with a Dark Urge quest. Otherwise, she is completely a needed kill to get her netherstone. Even a Durge run, we don't recall her betrayal until Act 3, and you don't directly learn more about said betrayal until fighting Orin. Like sure, as a player, if you read certain things, you can piece together that Durge was Bhaal's Chosen, but these can be missed, and your character won't know until Orin reveals it. That all aside, Orin isn't the really important villain of a Durge run. The important villain is Bhaal himself, and again, you can't actually touch him. You can reject him, but he kills you instead, and then bone grandpa brings you back. So again, falling in line with another character you can't get complete vengeance for because, well, a lot of these god-like beings....

So what we've got Cazador, Viconia, Gortash, and Orin? Two of which have to die? My point being that Cazador wasn't given a chance to be "liked villain". If you even slightly like Astarion/are just playing that good character, he is on the go out of our way to kill list before you know Ketheric is unkillable. From there, you probably aren’t going to want to hear him out because you've already committed to his death 15 hours into the game and it'll take you a good 70 more hours before you face him.

Again, I do, for the most part, think he doesn't make it as one of the many slightly likable big bosses because of Astarion fans just being... weird. And I love Astarion very much, but side-eye, and then scroll from a lot of his fan base. But also what I listed above is pretty close to how my first play through went. Cazador was the first on my list, and I tried to add the other characters that hurt my companions, but they kept getting taken off the list because I can't actually kill them in game -_-. Viconia was even killed before Cazador in the play through.

So yeah, I just wanted to offer a different perspective on the topic. Thanks for reading.

[limpfisted]

Im going to be honest.

The things wyll would do for this level of romance and intensity. Are banned in many countries.

And also.

MAGIC.

Special, unique, personal, legendary magic.

Just between them

A love of minds and bodies and spirits.

And magic.

Wyll fucking loves. Magic

That ARCANE proficiency, yall

Wyll would go so crazy stupid for this

Theyre a really good match tbh

I probably should have tried to romance gale on my wyll origin tbh. I even think wyll would find it impossible to say no to seeing a magic trick. Like he came for the magic trick. He stayed for the soft handsome older man who loves poetry and magic

However. I'll be real. If gale said he liked his stench and that wyll hadn't showered he'd be mortified and start spraying white kinkster be gone at him. He bathes every day without fail. Sometimes once in the morning once in the evening. No matter what. He just still smells of the hells bc hes a devil. So not only would wyll be like NO MUSK. IM CLEAN. GO SMELL SOMEONE ELSES BO. Hed be like. : ( I don't want to stink.. im sad now...

Another reason I didn't romance him was because. I could have just walked away from the mystra first weave event and I almost did. But instead I didn't. I was like, lets see where this goes. Wyll likes magic. He wants to learn. And then. He failed a check. And gale was like "well that sucks bye" and I was like. Damn. Big oofs.

[johnslittlespoon]

https://www.tumblr.com/hogans-heroes/746685005077544960/the-most-powerful-one-so-far-im-crying

Have you seen this buckbucky edit yet?

BIG OL' MISCELLANEOUS ASK POST!!

1) UNFORTUNATELY (said with love). that edit made me cry like a mf, my soul is too soft for those two to stay dry eyed through stuff like that. but god it was BEAUTIFUL.

2) ohh 100000%. it's in my post–war buckbucky playlist, it fits john's pov so well. it's so angsty, working through mental health issues in the aftermath, learning how to communicate with gale and ask for help when he needs it, just wanting to be by his side 24/7 but feeling undeserving of his love and also being afraid of how much he loves him and how much gale loves him back </3

3) omg no don't be sorry!! i am someone who listens to a little bit of everythinggg don't sweat it. i gave it a listen and YOWCH that hurt wtf?? it does fit bucky in that time so well, our poor sweet boy. :( also i still feel so bad that my only curtbucky fic is an mcd angst one LOL i need to fix that soon <3

4) another one i hadn't heard but nooo it absolutely is. all the angsty pine–y songs fit him so perfectly </3 he just wants to feel someone love him the same way he loves!! but also: 'i know i should be angry, but i can barely feel a fucking thing' is very plane–wing–scene :(

5) NO. NOT FUN. i have such a hard time listening to that song as is but thinking about it with post–war john in mind has literally made it 10x more painful and now this edit 😭 i tried to make an angsty edit to it a few weeks back but i started crying every time LOL phoebe just hurts too damn bad when you pair her with mota stuff. i adore her <3

6) SGDKJG honestly a wild day for us. she cracks me up like no one else <33 but OOO okay so i'm a strange one alright i grew up adoring anything fantasy/sci–fi, ate every novel and movie and show up, but in the past few years i've sort of lost interest in that vibe? which makes me really sad! but i've just been enjoying more slice of life stuff in terms of media i consume.

so i think if dune had come out when i was in like high school, i would've been obsessed, but even if it's not my go to genre, i still thought they were beautiful movies, perfect casts, managed to hold my attention as someone who can barely sit thru movies 99% of the time, the sound design was incredible, 10/10. no complaints.

but listen.... at first i was like "yummy feyd" as a joke. i serious'd very very fast. like i knew i'd be attracted just bc, i mean, c'mon, it's austin lmfaooo, but my brain chemistry was genuinely altered. i haven't like properly fleshed out any au–type of brainrot because i honestly didn't retain enough info about the dune universe (again. i am not a good movie watcher, i do not do well just sitting down and paying attention to one thing for three hours lol) but i do think some sort of crossover where john is in the dune world would be interesting!

let's be real, most of us would probably just wanna see john and feyd fuck nasty so. not sure it needs much elaborating on LMFAO and i'd be surprised if someone doesn't end up writing a fic like that– wouldn't be surprised if there already are some!

[sorry-apsalar]

Frender Drabbles: Same as all the Other Meatbags, Right?

Summary: I would like a writing set in a pirate AU. I don't know why I see Bender so fucking good as a pirate, really. The plot, centered on Bender as captain, I would like the Planet Express crew and the main characters of Futurama to participate, occupying the respective roles that would correspond to this AU. At first, he believed that being one of the most famous and feared pirates was what he really wanted, all the treasures he wanted for himself. But, in one of his adventures and battles, he met a mermaid (Fry). And secretly, from that moment on, he never stops thinking about whether he would ever see him again. I would like you to have a memorable encounter in one of his battles, where Bender ended up injured and far from his ship, I leave it to your imagination <3.

Prompt was given to me in Spanish so here is the original before I ran it through google translate in order to understand it. "Quisiera un escrito ambientado en un AU pirata. No sé porque veo a Bender jodidamente bien como pirata, en verdad. La trama, centrada en Bender como capitán, me gustaría que la tripulación de Planet Express y los personajes principales de Futurama fueran partícipes, ocupando los respectivos roles que se les corresponderían a este AU. Él al principio, creía que ser uno de los piratas más famoso y temidos era lo que en verdad deseaba, todos los tesoros que quería para él. Pero, en una de sus aventuras y batallas, conoció a una sirena (Fry). Y en secreto, desde ese momento, no deja de pensar en sí alguna vez lo volvería a ver. Quisiera que hicieras un memorable encuentro en alguna de sus batallas, en donde Bender terminara herido y lejos de su barco, lo dejo a tu imaginación <3."

~

Lucky for Bender, when he’d been washed overboard it had been with a keg of ale. Fuel and something to hold onto to stop himself from sinking into the crushing depths of the ocean. Unlucky for Bender was that the gale had combined with the roar of canon fire had drowned out his calls for help. And now, his ship was well on its way to disappearing over the horizon.

But hey, at least the gale had finally cleared up. Leaving him bobbing up and down on the barrel as he watched his ship, leave. They’d won the battle naturally, the other ship now a floating wreck. So why hadn’t they turned around yet? Surely they’d noticed their captain was missing by now. They owed everything to him! He’d led them to far more success than they ever could’ve hoped for without him. So why wasn’t Leela turning the damn ship back around to come look for him?

He’d had swam towards them but the canon ball that had hit him had taken out one of his legs. A minor injury but how was he supposed to swim with one leg? He wasn’t designed to swim in the first place, very few robots were because the whole, metal sinks thing.

The barrel was already riding higher in the water with how much he’d drank from it. When he ran out of fuel would he be able to attach himself to it to stay afloat? Getting saved from such a state would be a long shot but far better than his chances of surviving the ocean’s depths. … What would it feel like to get crushed like a tin can by metric fuckton of water? His body could endure a lot of damage but probably not that, right? Meaning he was pretty damn screwed if he couldn’t keep hold of the barrel somehow. Which also meant he was pretty damn screwed in general.

“Come back, assholes!” He shouted after the ship, loud as he could. There was no way they heard but it made him feel a bit better anyway. “Turn around or I’m gonna be real mad.”

“I don’t think they can hear from all the way over here.”

Bender barely held back a flinch. Instead he turned to look at where the sudden voice had come from. A red-headed human floating in the water next to him, looking out towards the ship. “Where the heck did you come from?”

The human turned their head to look at him. “I swam up. Are you real robot?”

“What the hell else would I be?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen a real robot before. I thought the water was supposed to be bad for them.”

Bender scoffed. “As if mere water could hurt the likes of me. I’ll have you know that I’m Bender Bending Rodriguez, the world’s most famous and feared pirate captain.” He would be one anyway.

“I’m Philip J. Fry but you can just call me Fry. I’m uh… just a merman, nothing special.”

Ah, that explains where he’d come from then. “A merman, huh? I’ve never met a merman before. Can’t say I’ve ever cared to though. You’re basically the same as all the other meatbags, right? Except you live in the ocean.”

Fry shrugged. “I guess so. Anyway, you need help getting back to your ship? I can push your barrel.”

If most of him weren’t under the water, Bender would’ve looked him up and down, trying to find what he was hiding. Trusting him would be foolish but well, Bender wouldn’t be getting himself back to the ship any time soon and Leela didn’t seem to want to turn it around to come back for him. So he didn’t have many other options here. “What’s the catch?”

“Uh… no catch. I just think robots are cool and have always wanted to meet and talk to one about land and robot stuff.”

“So you wanna help me back to my ship as an excuse to hang out?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Bender wasn’t sure he believed that but who wouldn’t want to hang out with him? And what other choice did he have? “Sure. You may help me get back to my ship. Not that I can’t get back to it myself of course, just I’m too lazy too.”

“Okay.” Fry dove under the water. He came back up a moment later, right next to Bender. Close enough that his arms brushed up against Bender’s as he put his hands on the barrel and started to swim, his powerful tail propelling them forward at a pace that was fairly quick but… even with the ship slowed by the damage it had taken from the battle, it would still be a long while before they reached it. And likely Fry, as was the case with all biological beings would have to stop to rest and eat every so often, making the journey take even longer. But at least Bender was finally properly moving towards his ship. He’d just have to get used to his new companion.