#dani rojas fanfiction

[danistartt]

When Worlds Collide (it is Wonderful)- Dani Rojas

pairings: dani rojas x reader, the richmond team warnings: nervous reader, language about: request! dani introducing you to the team

Dani is ecstatic. He’s been ecstatic for three days and pre-ecstatic for two, grinning at you brazenly when he remembers today.

You… aren’t, so much.

You should’ve told him, you think as he leads you inside the Richmond building, chattering away excitedly about each member of the team. He mentions how nice Sam is and you’re reminded of how much he loves them. You stop abruptly, Dani tugging on your arm when he fails to notice.

He turns back to you and cocks his head in the sweet puppy way he does, saying your name in question. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m nervous,” you blurt.

“I thought you were excited?” he asks, stepping closer. You stare up at him worriedly and squeeze his hand.

“I was. I am. I want to meet them, they’re important to you, but that’s why I’m so nervous, too.” Your eyes round in concern. “What if they hate me? They’re a big part of your life and if they hate me, I—”

“Why would they hate you?” he wonders incredulously. “Mi amor, I do not think anyone could hate you.”

“But what if they do?” you insist. “What if I’m actually awful and I’ve trapped you with my siren song without even knowing?” you whimper.

“No,” Dani murmurs, wrapping his arms around you. You melt on contact, the unbelievable heat of him immensely comforting. “You do not have a siren song. And if you do, then I do not mind. They will love you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I talk about you all the time and I love you. If they are not at least a little in love with you already, I will be surprised.” Dani smiles at your stilted laugh. “They told me they were excited to meet you.”

“I don’t want to disappoint them. Or you.”

Dani pulls away to make sure you’re looking him in the eyes. “You could not. Even if you tried really, really hard.”

Your face crumples.

Dani panics. “Did I say something?”

“Yes,” you cry, pulling him back to you. You raise a hand up to your eyes and wipe away your fear. Taking a deep breath, you nod. “I’m ready,” you tell him, standing up straight and squaring your shoulders.

“Wonderful,” he says pleasantly, picking right back up where he left off. “Coach Roy screams a lot, but he is very kind. He has a niece named Phoebe who he brought one day and gave us all friendship bracelets.” His own drags against the hand he holds, a bubblegum bead at the end of thick string bouncing on your wrist. “Jamie, of course, is my best friend.”

You laugh. “I can’t wait to meet them all.”

“I cannot wait either,” he says, very nearly bouncing on his heels. “This is like two of my favorite worlds colliding into one big, even more wonderful world.”

You chortle, squeezing his hand.

“All the coaches are there. Coach Lasso was very excited about meeting you. I think he got cupcakes.”

“Really?” you ask.

“I talk about you a lot.”

Another squeeze, desperate to send a loving spark up his arm. You think it reaches when he squeezes back.

You both pause outside the door, staring at the doorknob. Dani buzzes in your hand, but he glances up at you, soft eyes wonderful and kind. “Do not worry, okay? Javier is much tougher than them and he liked you a lot.”

You nod. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

When Dani pushes the door open, you are not prepared for the silence. You expect what you think is common of a locker room—loud guy noises, strewn exhausted footballers. Instead, you find all the thirty-something footballers standing straight in a very organized line, the coaches standing in front of what you assume is the office. One holds a small, pink box in his hands, a carton of cupcakes against his hip.

“Hello,” you say awkwardly, glancing at each face that stares back at you.

“Dani!” One bellows happily. “We were waitin’ for ya, bruv.”

“Yeah,” another chimes, “we was standin’ here for, like, five minutes.”

“Good impressions,” one at the far end chimes in.

Dani is glowing, agreeing with everything they’re saying. “This is my amor,” he says proudly, presenting you to the team. They stare for a second before the room erupts in elated noise, men coming up to you to tell you varying introductions. You catch some names and recognize some faces, trying your best to keep up with each person.

“Oi!” Someone yells, the team quieting and parting for the source of the voice. Low, bushy brows atop a dark beard introduce you to Roy. “Will we show some fucking manners?” He smiles at you a little gruffly and offers you a hand, the blue tail of a bracelet matching Dani’s swinging lightly against your wrist. “I’m Roy.”

“I’ve heard,” you reply, accepting. His handshake is as firm as you’d expect.

“So’ve we,” he tells you.

“Hi there,” Treats Man says, peeking over Roy’s shoulder with a friendly wave. “I’m Ted. That’s Coach Beard over there.” He gestures to a man off to the side, arms crossed across his chest. He offers you a nod. “We hear you’re with our little ray of sunshine, huh?”

You’re inclined to agree. “I’ve heard a lot. About everyone. I didn’t expect such a… big hello. Dani said I’d just come by after practice and put some voices to faces.”

“Nah. We showered and everythin’,” a player says proudly. “Isaac said we should.”

The man who had first spoken ducked his chin in agreement.

“Thank you,” you laugh.

“Are you impressed?” a man with short hair asks.

“Definitely.”

They all cheer, must to Roy’s dismay.

Dani takes this as a cue to start speaking, pointing players out and telling you their names. Sam smiles at you warmly and gives you a hug. Jamie nods at you, Colin tells you about one of the things Dani’d said about you, Moe kisses your hand, and Zoreaux says Dani hadn’t done you justice. Even Rebecca Welton comes down to meet you, offering free box seats for the next game. 

You become very well aware that the team may already know you better than you had thought. Dani seems pleased about this fact. You can’t find it in yourself to be upset.

At the end of the meet, you realize every member of the team wears a colorful bracelet. You kind of can’t wait to get yours.

[lorna-d-m]

The ted lasso and dani rojas brain rot has been getting to me, and I've been playing around with ideas in my head. Since this is a primarily Daniel Brühl / personal blog, I made an interest form to see how y'all are feeling about this. I hope y'all are having a good Saturday!

Interest form link

[vastseamind]

I swear to the Gods I will search Karlach x Reader and all the comes up is Astrion. It’s honestly fucking infuriating because I don’t want to read about him. I could be one thing if there was just a scarcity of fic with her (which there is,) but the fact that every single time I search it, he comes up. This either leads me to believe that people are idiotic and can’t tag correctly or that tumblr is just fucking me and hates wlw content. 

She’s also not the only character that this happens to. I’ve noticed it happens a lot when it specifically comes to wlw content that is centralized around, not fem presenting characters. Almost every assassin‘s creed, character thats a woman or Abby Anderson (TLOU2) Dani Rojas (Far Cry 6) and so on when it comes to buff women. It’s honestly draining.

Anyways, there’s the rant, haters will be blocked ✌🏽

Tag your shit correctly

That’s means y’all that put x Reader then add a name. THAT’S UR FUCKING OC BABE, TAG IT AS SUCH YOUR RUINING THE VIBE! REALLY SHOULD NOT BE HARD!

[walnutmistjamie]

fave Ted Lasso moments 47/? : We don't start counting until it hurts.

[sunpuffsstuff]

Ok so me and my dad have been spending time together watching Ted Lasso and I can tell you right now. The Brainrot is severe. I love this fucking show so much and I wanna kiss and comfort half of the fricking cast, they all need it.

Someone pls recomend good Ted Lasso character x reader fics pls<3

[delusionalthinkingatbest]

TOPS/BTTMS/VERS in AFC Richmond⚽

Don't kill me this is just for fun and I've been thinking about this more than I care to admit. 😐(I won't get to all of them but part 2 maybe?)

Dani Rojas

Top. He likes taking control and will 100% talk you through it. This man has not one, but two girlfriends and he knows how to keep them. He wouldn't skimp on the foreplay or aftercare. Anyone who has the privilege of being in this man's sheets is leaving a raving Yelp review.

Isaac McAdoo

Top but also Verse? Isaac is a man who likes to please. He'll sit his partner down and talk to them about they like and what they don't like. He aims to please; he would always be checking in to see if his partner is enjoying it or not. But if he's nervous he can get too much in his head and lets other people take control for a bit.👌

Roy Kent

TOP, THIS MAN IS THE KING Of EXCESS. He would wait it out until his partner is begging for more. Only to give them exactly what they want then to have them begging for him to stop. Overstimulation is this man's middle name and prolonged org*sms is his game.

Jamie Tartt

Bottom.

Colin Hughes

Weirdly Verse, let me explain. Colin is definitely a man who loves bottoming but sometimes he'll get this surge of confidence. And I think this confidence transfers in the bedroom. He likes feeling the power and seeing his partners have pleasure but it's nice for him to let his defenses down.

Sam Obisanya

Top, this man would make it romantic. Dim lights, soft sheets, towels by the bedside, and lotions. This man does not skimp when it comes to his sexual partners. He spoils them, makes them feel loved even if it's only a one-night stand. He's through and takes his time to drag org*sms out. No one leaves an unsatisfied customer.

Moe Bumbercatch

Bottom. This man is unapologetic and knows what he wants. Tops don't come up to him because they set themselves up to be rejected. He goes to them because he has a standard and likes to keep it. His process is very important all the org*sms keeps him loose for playing soccer (football). There's nothing like getting a really good d*ck down before going on the field.

Honorable Mention: Zava

Top, he is annoyingly good at being one too. He lets his partners in his house and doesn't do anything no hello, hi, how are you. He knows why you came to him, to sleep with him of course. But it's the best s*x his partners have ever had. But it's a once in a lifetime thing. Once it's done Zava gets up to take a shower and he expects you gone by the time he gets back. And don't even think about a round 2. Everyone can sleep with Zava if he picks you but only once.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Day 2 of Whumptober!

Using the prompt - thermometer.

Jamie is sick and Dani helps take care of him.

Read on ao3

[fandom-addict404]

It upsets me how little ADHD Dani Rojas fanfics there are and how little people are talking about this. This man literally is the poster child for ADHD. LIKE CMON. 

[xthescarletbitch]

a night in segunda || dani rojas x reader

sfw, but i still prefer no minors (curse words are involved)

cw: gn!reader, fluff, alcohol, kissing while intoxicated

word count: 1500+

author's note: this is absolutely not proofread. i wrote this shit in two hours and it was originally going to be smut, but i realised that’s all i’ve ever written. i wanted to switch it up a little! i hope you enjoy my cringe and fluffy dani. ♡

“fuckin’...,” bicho raises a cerveza at you and dani. “get your liver ready, we’re going to put that little guy through the ringer.” he then puts the bottle to his lips and chugs the entire thing in one breath. when he finishes, he looks to you and dani. you glance at dani, trying to gauge a response to give to bicho. you’re met with a shrug as she grabs a bottle nearby. she tips the bottle over her mouth and is met with disappointment when nothing comes out.

“oh yeah…” bicho mutters as he turns to dani and her empty bottle. “can you get some more?” he asks as a burp follows. you look around to decide where to look. as if reading your mind, dani turns to you and points behind you.

“isn’t there a bar nearby? we could try there.” she suggests, walking closer towards you. you nod and look back at bicho, who is eyeing the inside of a bottle, as if hoping more would magically appear.

you and dani set off to a nearby bar that is filled with soldados. you both look at each other and smile. dani senses chaos that can ensue, but you shut her down quickly. “we need to be smart about this or every soldado in segunda will be on our asses.”

thankfully, the drunk soldados are busy having the time of their lives – barfing into bushes and dancing in front of the stage. a large crate of cervezas on a table catches your eye and you quickly scope your surroundings to ensure it is a safe grab. the soldados seem incredibly distracted, which makes it seem like an easy task. dani sneaks in and grabs the crate with a quickness before hurrying back to you. she crouches next to you and shows you her haul. just as she is about to pop open a bottle, a soldado notices his sustenance missing. he looks around, alarmed, then promptly shrugs it off. you guess he didn’t care about it all that much. you and dani chuckle, each grabbing a bottle to get a little pre-gaming in before returning to bicho. you clink your bottles together and tilt your heads back, taking the beverages in.

a few drinks later, you and dani are laying in the grass as bicho snoozes on a nearby bench. you feel dani’s eyes on you as you continue to look up at the sky. you are waiting for her to say something, but nothing comes out. you finally smirk and look back at her. she returns a smile right back, remaining quiet. you raise an eyebrow to prompt her to finally say what she’s thinking about.

“has anyone ever told you how beautiful you look?” dani asks, surprisingly without slurring. you become flustered at the sentiment as her green eyes continue to pierce through your own. she takes her hand and places it on top of yours, gently massaging the spot. 

“you’re just drunk,” you giggle. her eyes still don’t leave your embarrassed face. what is she thinking about? you become increasingly aware of her hands on yours and break eye contact to look down. noticing this, she intertwined her fingers with yours.

“come with me.” she utters as she rises from her position. you ponder on what her intentions may be, but ultimately decide to follow her. she hasn’t led you astray before, and the way she’s looking at you tells you that she doesn’t plan to anytime soon. her hand is back in yours as she gently drags you along. you pass various billboards advertising the beauty of being a true yaran. you mentally cringe, but are relieved to see neighboring boards with dani’s signage. 

eventually, you and dani reach an alley that is dark and quiet. “you’re not planning to kill me, are you?” you ask jokingly. you look around and notice an orange ladder nearby, followed by multiple blue clothes placed strategically to highlight a path for guerrillas like you. 

dani chuckles at your question. “of course not,” she promises and motions towards the ladder you noticed before. “i just want to show you something.”

you walk over to the ladder and notice it is a bit higher than you’re able to reach. “here,” dani vocalises as she gets down on her knees. not a bad sight. “i got you.” she holds her hand out and allows you to step on it in order to reach the ladder above you. you grab the ladder and it falls quickly, nearly knocking you down. dani catches you just in time and ensures you are okay.

“so,” you trail off, catching her eye again. “who’s going first?” you look up at the obstacle before you. it seems like it’ll be a fun game – amplified by the fact that you are both tipsy. as if reading your mind, dani jumps up the ladder and looks down at you. 

“i’ll race you.” she smirks, walking across the platform to reach the next hurdle.

“you’re on!” you shout as you follow her lead. she purposely slows down to allow you to catch up. she dramatically fakes an injury and gives way for you to take first place. “come on, dani. it’s no fun if you let me win.”

she looks at you with that beautiful smirk again and shrugs. she goes back to her normal pace and you both fight for the first place spot. eventually, you reach the last obstacle and arrive at the top of a church. you look back at dani, smiling in a way that says “i won!”

you realise how beautiful the night sky looks from up here, as well as the lit buildings down in the city. it is such an amazing view… 

“well, you won,” dani states, coming up from behind you. she is now right beside you and you feel your body flush.

“what do i win? you tease, nudging her shoulder. she looks at you out of the corner of her eye with her signature shit-eating grin. you hate when she does this… when she elongates periods of silence by simply smiling, leaving much to your imagination. it feels like forever before she finally turns to face you, her face illuminated by the moonlight. she looks incredibly gorgeous in this moment.

���this.” she comments, placing your face in her hands. she takes a moment to admire your beauty, looking from your eyes to your lips. you do the same, admiring her bright green eyes and lips. is this really happening? is she teasing you? you have always had a tiny crush on the guerrilla, but always pushed it to the back of your mind. she was too busy for something like this, right? with the revolution, liberating zones, with –

dani cuts off your thoughts by pressing her soft lips onto yours. you let out a slight moan into the kiss and wrap your arms around her neck. she places her hands on your hips and pulse you closer to her, your bodies emanating warmth. her tongue finds its way into your mouth and wrestles with your own. you can taste the faint traces of cerveza as your tongues conduct their own little symphony. you finally break away from the kiss, gasping for air, as she does the same. you can’t help but place your gaze back on her lips.

“what was that for?” you hardly manage to get out. you feel your face on fire as she looks down at your kiss-bitten lips and back at your eyes.

“i’ve just,” she began, starting to feel the embarrassment of what she has just done. she never would have had the courage to do this sober. “you have no idea how long i have wanted to do that.” she rubs the back of her neck with her hand and looks down at her shoes. her face is now breaking out into a shade you’ve never seen before. it’s kind of adorable, you think to yourself.

you smile and place your hand on her chin, tilting her head to meet your gaze. “so have i.” you share. her mouth breaks back into a smile at your words. suddenly, you hear a familiar voice down below. fuck. you forgot about bicho.

“i kn-knew it,” he says in between hiccups. “fucki- fucking finally.” he finally spits out, looking up at you both. he raises a bottle of cerveza to you both once again. was your adoration for your fellow guerrilla really that obvious that bicho picked up on it?

dani turns her attention back to you and surprises you with another kiss. to your disappointment, the kiss is shorter than the last. “don’t worry, cariño. we will be doing that a lot more often.” and just like that, she’s making her way back down the guerrilla path and back to bicho. good call, you think. he needs to sober up.

you make your way back down the path and meet back up with them. bicho leads you both to a nearby dance floor and you dance the night away. who would’ve known that a few drinks was all it would take to bring you both together?

[honey-bunny-sushii]

In a world

Female Dani :would you love me if I was a man?

Anton:....sure..

In a different world

Male Dani: would you love me if I was-

Anton :I'd love you if you were a rat now please go to bed

(idea came from me and my friend talking about male Dani being absurdly obsessed with Anton while female Dani is barely loving him.)

[danistartt]

tried to find my own fics and i couldn't because tumblr's search system sucks so here is a casual masterlist. unsure if this is all of them but oh well

Jamie Tartt:

4 AM

Prince Charming

Gentleman

Jamie Tartt's Awful Breakfast and Lovely Morning

Dirty, Dirty Criminals

Homesick

Dani Rojas

When Worlds Collide

[providing-leverage]

Aroace Bumbercatch, Flowers for Dani, PacRim two aces au... I have so many fics I want to work on but no time...

Plus the knowledge that Bumbercatch is Swiss just made me think more about a Sense8 au because that's another one I've always wanted to try my hand at.

(I have been making time by ignoring all the college stuff I should be doing when I'm at home)

[two-aces]

A little ficlet of Two Aces because why not:

Jamie hasn’t ever had a real sleepover before, even as a kid. Sure, he’s shared a hotel room with his teammates and spent the night with all kinds of guys and girls when he’d lived his bachelor days, but he’s never had a real, honest-to-god sleepover until Dani invites him over out of the blue, just a week after Jamie has returned to the team.

He’s the only one invited, and surprises himself by agreeing. He is nervous, and doesn’t know what he’s supposed to bring with him, but he doesn’t have anyone that he can text to ask about it. So he overpacks a bit, probably. In hindsight, three duffels feels a bit like it could’ve been overkill. Dani doesn’t even seem fazed, thankfully, and leads Jamie through the apartment he’s renting with full enthusiasm. He doesn’t know what to expect, and for the most part it’s just like any other team hangout of days past, but between just the pair of them. Dani even shares a fruity sort of wine that smells a bit like one of mummy’s old perfumes. There’s nostalgia in every corner of the room, which is strange for a place that Jamie has never been before—like the whole flat is a familiar sort of foreign. The wine makes him a bit softer around the edges, he thinks, because he doesn’t even feel bad that Dani has beat him in all six Mario cart races they’ve played, despite his competitive drive to dominate. Maybe he’s getting used to the idea of them being equals. Maybe it’s just because it’s Dani.

He can’t be sure. All he knows is that it feels really fucking good to hang out with someone who seems to genuinely like him enough to do this slumber party bullshit with him. He hadn’t known it would feel this good to be lying on the carpet of his teammates living room with the couch pressed against the far side of the wall and a ridiculous mess of a blanket fort sheltering them from the overhead light.

He’s never met anyone who is as open with affection as Dani Rojas, and it’s easy to let himself get picked up and dragged into its undercurrent. They split a shitty frozen meal from the team trainer, legs folded up on the floor and heads bent close together so that they don’t knock the delicate canopy down around them. They’re sharing food and breath and it’s intoxicating the way a mere flicker of Dani’s smile goes straight to Jamie’s head.

They wake up still on the floor with half of the blanket roof hanging down over their legs. Foregoing furniture had been a bad idea, but the payoff of seeing Dani laugh his way to full wakefulness is something he thinks he wouldn’t trade back for anything. Sure, they’ll have to put in extra stretches and maybe consult the physio about the tighter muscles, but if that’s the price he’d pay it ten times over.

Dani makes him breakfast—he’s only ever had Keeley cook for him before, and she’s shit with a kitchen. Well, not entirely; they’d put the expensive marble island to good use, hadn’t they? But then his brain collages the two and he has the image of leaning Dani over that same table. His elbow slips with the shock of the mental image and he nearly drops his fork. Had been a fucking lovely image, and he’d definitely have to revisit that in greater detail some time, but it’s kind of impossible to do that when the said star of his imagination is nodding his head to the faint radio play of a song Jamie can’t understand and stirring his breakfast for him.

They spend a lazy morning together, lounging on the couch they’ve pushed back to the center of the living room. They don’t even talk much, sat on opposite ends so their feet touch on the middle cushion and Jamie’s toenail grazes the edge of Dani’s ankle bone. Dani carries a load of darks fresh from the dryer and Jamie automatically sets to the easy task of folding them with him. Its kind of nice, being all domestic and shit. Dani throws a tee shirt at him when Jamie makes a stupid joke, and Jamie retaliates by putting it on. It’s still warm and big in the shoulders on Jamie, but Dani laughs and doesn’t ask him to take it off. That makes his stomach flutter and he has to drag his mind away from the fantasy of shoving the clothes aside and having him right there on the couch.

They take a lap around the complex when the sun rises a bit higher, trading a pair of AirPods so that they can choose each others music. When they get back to Dani’s flat he asks Jamie to add some of the songs he’d chosen onto his phone—just hands it over like he’d trust Jamie with his life and everything in it.

He doesn’t go through Dani’s photos even though he can. He adds the desired songs to the already packed Spotify playlist and simply hands it back to him. Dani beams and pockets it. Doesn’t even check if Jamie has snooped through his messages or nothing. He’s so fucking trusting that it makes Jamie hope nobody ever takes advantage of it—some kind of protective instinct he’d have expected of Roy or Ted or someone. Fucking Richmond is making him soft, and he can’t stop smiling for the life of him.

When he does leave Dani’s place and parks his car in the driveway, he is slow to actually get out and head inside. Like part of him is still back in that kitchen and he’s watching the sun stream in through Dani’s dark eyelashes over cold eggs. The house is silent when he goes inside. Too big, too, but he’s always kind of felt that way about it. He’d hoped by indulging in so much excess he would get used to it faster. Really, it only makes coming back from days like these feel lonelier.

His phone chimes. When he swipes it open there is an Instagram alert and he follows it to the photo carousel that Dani has posted from their night. They’d taken several selfies throughout, and there’s two posted where they’ve got ridiculous filters on their faces to look like they’ve got inflated lips and ridiculously long foreheads. The last one is the only one that Jamie hadn’t noticed him take; it’s of Jamie folding up one of the blankets with a look so soft and smitten that he has to click away for a bit. He’d been wearing Dani’s tee shirt. Nobody else would know if they saw it, but Jamie knew, and he fiddles the collar instinctively and tugs it up to his nose. Smells like his own sweat, mostly, but the detergent scent lingers just below that.

Dani’s tagged him in all of the pictures of them both, and captioned it ‘A wonderful night in with mi amigo! Thank you for keeping me company @/StrikerJamie’. There’s a series of emojis that follow it, but Jamie is focused in on the single red heart next to the fucking sunglasses and football emoji. His cheeks are probably the exact same hue.

They look like a proper couple, if he tries to see it that way, which he isn’t. One friendly sleepover does not a romance make. Besides that, he’s so enamored just by being Dani’s friend that he thinks he’d like to hold onto that for a while before he thinks of pursuing anything else. So he scrolls Insta for a bit longer and secretly stalks the tumblr account that posts all his best photos and outfits, glad to see that they’ve immediately reposted Dani’s images of them both and have deemed them ‘okay but nobody told them they had any right to look that hot tho’. Hell, yeah, they’re fucking hot. Could sell out magazines if they teamed up, like. They could do real fucking numbers. Full, eat-your-heart-out-Kim-Kardashian numbers.

So he does something a bit stupid, perhaps. A little reckless, a little hopeful, a lot nervous. He has been out of Dani’s company for going three hours, and he has just sent him a text message that reads, ‘Oi, I owe you a good bottle of red after last night. Needed that, but let’s sleep in an actual bed next time. What do you say? Sleepover at mine?’

Dani sends him a thumbs up emoji and several yellow smiley faces. And a single red heart.

Jamie has a feeling that this will not be the last of their shared nights, and puts his phone into the pocket of Dani’s borrowed shirt, entirely unable to wipe the warm smile from his face.

[mearpsdyke]

peacock.

“Did you know that male peacocks are more vibrant to attract the females?”

Sam’s eyes drift to a distant corner, where Jamie is braiding—or something like that—Dani’s hair. Dani is giggling, his colorful pirate costume is a sharp contrast from Jamie’s batman costume.

(or: 5 times Sam thinks he's more observant than the rest, and the 1 time he's not looking hard enough.)

read on ao3.

[lupuslikethewolf]

ted lasso au-gust day 8: robots & androids

Fandom: Ted Lasso (TV)

Relationship: Dani Rojas & Jamie Tartt

Characters: Jamie Tartt, Dani Rojas (Ted Lasso), Background & Cameo Characters

Additional Tags: could be, Implied Dani Rojas/Jamie Tartt, Roombas, it's name is mister kitty, AU-gust | August Writing Challenge, AU-gust | August Writing Challenge 2023

Summary: jamie and dani are lonely. jamie and dani move in together. jamie and dani adopt a roomba.

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Back on my Jamie Tartt bullshit

Five times Jamie asked someone about their Dad, and one time someone asked about him.

Roy

“What’s your Dad like?” Jamie asks Roy one day after an early morning training session. Jamie is warming down and stretching. They had been talking about the upcoming Manchester City game. It was a home game for the Greyhounds and Roy had asked him if he had heard from his prick of a father. Jamie told him he hadn’t since Wembley six months prior.

Roy raises his eyebrows at him.”He’s fine.”

“He’s fine? What the fuck does that mean?” Jamie says to him thinking he shouldn’t be surprised, it is Roy after all. “You never talk about him.”

“You don’t talk about your Dad,” Roy counters.

“Yeah, but me Dad’s a dick. You already know that.”

Jamie was trying anything to get his mind off the upcoming match against Man City. The team had been playing like shit since the loss to West Ham. Even with God’s gift to those that have everything, fucking Zava, they still couldn’t buy win.

Higgins had assured Jamie (and Roy, multiple times) that James Tartt, Sr. was banned from Nelson Road but he still wasn’t relieved. The fact that his Dad hadn’t texted or called him asking for tickets had freaked Jamie out even more. He should be happy his Dad hadn’t called, but instead it just made him more weary wondering if he was about to jump out from around every corner instead.

“I don’t really know my Dad well if you have to fucking know,” Roy admits, but there’s no heat behind his words. “He was always working while I was growing up. My Mum too. Grandad was the one who picked me up from school and all that shit. Made me dinner, helped with fucking homework and put me to bed. He was more of a fucking Dad to me than my own was. Then I went to Sunderland at nine and haven’t spent much time at home since.”

Well that’s depressing Jamie thinks. He always asks people what their Dad’s are like. Jamie never knows if it’s masochistic if he wants to hear about these great Dads other people have or if he’s looking for someone to make him feel better about his own shitty Dad. Usually, whatever the answer is just makes him feel depressed in one way or another.

“But your Dad, like, came to your matches and shit?”

“Yeah, once I played at Chelsea. Bragged to all his mates when we won the Champions League in 2012, didn’t he. And when I played for England. Wouldn’t talk to me after we lost to Iceland in the Euros in 2016 for like a fucking month though.”

“To be fair, who loses to fucking Iceland? Even the Mighty Ducks beat them for Christ’s sake.”

Roy gives him a look. They had made their way through the Mighty Ducks Trilogy during a trio of away games. The team agreed D2 was the best of the series. Sometimes Jamie wishes Gordon Bombay was his Dad. He would be sick at hockey if he knew how to skate.

“He ever come to a Richmond game when we played together?” Jamie asks him.

“No, he doesn’t even live in fucking England anymore. He fucked off to Marbella after my Mum died, bought a fucking strip club.”

“A what?” Jamie asks, laughing.

“Yeah,” Roy rolls his eyes and explains. “Sold the fucking posh house I bought them like two weeks after she died and moved there. He’s only even met Phoebe a handful of fucking times. He was pissed at my sister for getting pregnant. Probably has talked to Ruth even less.”

“Your Dad sounds like a dick,” Jamie tells him.

Jamie loves Phoebe. She’s smart and funny, especially for her age. He doesn’t understand how any grandparent wouldn’t want to see her. If he ever has kids, his Mum will probably demand to move in so she can spend more time with her grandchild. Anyone who doesn’t want to spend time with Phoebe sounds like a floppy cock to Jamie.

“How come you never told me about him?”

“Cause I talk so much about my fucking feelings for people?” Roy counters which, fair enough. “Besides, you kind of cornered the market on shitty Dads.”

“I guess I just can’t help being the best at everything,” Jamie says, Prince of Pricks smile on his face, pretending like he doesn’t care about his own Dad, like he doesn’t feel bad for Roy, too. Roy knows better now. He knows Jamie always puts on a smile or a grin, makes a joke or says something cocky when talking about his Dad. But Roy knows the real Jamie, the one that cried in his arms after standing up to his father for the first time. The. Jamie who flinched at his hug because he’s used to pain rather than comfort coming from the older men in his life.

Jamie knows his Dad takes the prize for bad father of the year, but it doesn’t mean Roy deserves the Dad he had either.

Dani

“What’s your Dad like?” Jamie asks Dani. They’re on the bus on the ride home from Rebecca’s father’s funeral. Jamie glances down at Dani’s feet, clad in Rebecca’s slippers and feels relief for his friend’s feet. He can’t wait to get home and take off his own shoes, maybe call his Mum, confess to her how he professed his love for Keeley. Try to relieve himself of some of his guilt.

“Mi Papa? Oh Jamie, he is wonderful. You would like him a lot I think.”

“That’s good muchacho,” Jamie says to him, truthfully. Dani is always so cheery, he isn’t surprised that Dani has a great Dad. No one as happy as Dani could grow up with the type of Dad that Jamie had.

“I am very happy to go home for a few weeks once the season is over,” Dani tells him.

“Oh yeah, that’s good,” Jamie adds. “You must miss them when you’re here.”

“I do, sí. But we talk on the phone each day. Papa and mi Mama are very proud. My sisters, tambien. I am very lucky.”

Jamie agrees, Dani is lucky. Clenching and unclenching his right fist unconsciously, thinking of a few weeks earlier when he saw he last saw his Dad at Wembley. Dani would never punch his Dad. He doubts the Dad that Dani described would ever do something worthy of being punched, would ever lay his hands on his own child.

“You are amigo,” Jamie tells him, happy that Dani’s has a Dad worthy of the kind and caring striker.

Sam

“What’s your Dad like?” Jamie asks Sam when he hears that Ola is coming to visit his son in a few days.

“Oh, he is amazing,” Sam tells him, smiling.

Jamie smiles back at him. He’d always been a little jealous of the younger man’s relationship with his Dad. The Nigerian loved his father enough to name his restaurant after him, Jamie wouldn’t name an unflushed poopy after his father. Jamie witnessed numerous phone calls between Sam and his Dad. Sam is always smiling and laughing, telling him how much he loves him. Jamie can’t remember the last time he told his Dad he loved him, can’t remember the last time he would’ve meant it.

Sam’s Dad was everything Jamie wished his own Dad was. Supportive, loving, not a fucking nightmare. Sam’s Dad seemed like Jamie’s own Mum, didn’t care that their sons were Premier League stars, only cared if they were happy. Ola and Georgie would probably get along very well. Jamie feels a swell of guilt. Neither would be happy the way Jamie treated Sam two years before. Jamie has tried to make amends to his teammate, starting with the Dubai Air boycott and Jamie planned to keep making amends to his Nigerian friend.

“Oh yeah?” Jamie says back to him, not sure what else to say.

“He is very wise. Very funny. He always tells me to follow my instincts, and to trust in the universe” Sam continues. “The universe will provide, he says. Did I tell you he bought bitcoin in 2009?”

“2009, swear down? You were still in diapers then,” Jamie ribs him.

“Jamie, you are only three years older than me,” Sam tells him seriously. “But the universe told me to stay in Richmond last year, and look at us now. I know this is where I am supposed to be.”

Jamie says a silent prayer to the universe for Sam remaining in Richmond. Even Jamie Tartt can’t disagree with the universe.

A few days later, when Sam cries into his Dad’s arms in the changing room, Jamie can’t help but think of the last time someone’s Dad was in their changing room. The last time ended with Jamie’s fist connecting with his face. Everyone looks around awkwardly, the silence much the same as it was in the Wembley dressing room. Jamie feels helpless watching the scene unfold, the way his own teammates felt the year before.

Sam cries in the comfort of his Dad’s arms, while Jamie cried in Coach Kent’s arms. Sam’s Dad brings comfort, his own brings pain. Sam’s Dad brings support, his Dad gives criticism. Ola and James could not be more different. In some ways Sam and Jamie also couldn’t be more different, and each encounter is stark in their differences, but both young men are seeking comfort. Ola gives it freely, easily, while James just causes heartbreak and fear, pushing Jamie to seek comfort in others.

The next night when they’re at Ola’s helping cleaning up the mess, Jamie smiles when Sam walks in with his Dad. The big man cooks for them, appreciative of the way they care for his son while he’s so far from home. Jamie chats with them while they cook, thinking maybe he should ask Simon to teach him some of his recipes. Jamie is glad his friend has Ola for a Dad. Sam deserves a Dad like Ola.

Beard

“What’s your Dad like?” Jamie asks Beard, watching the older man hold his baby daughter. They’re at a cookout at the Higgins house, a few weeks before the season starts. Vera, Beard’s almost year old daughter giggles in his arms as Jamie tickles her.

“Apathetic,” Beard answers. Jamie still isn’t quite sure how to talk to him but it’s gotten slightly easier. Beard is different without Ted, more his own person than an extension of Ted. Still weird as fuck but Jamie appreciates the weirdness now. He’s trying to be more curious than judgemental. Jamie understands Beard is a man who has lived many different lives. The newest one being father.

“Right okay,” Jamie says unsure, so he turns instead to Vera the pitch of his voice raising as he asks, “And what’s your Dad like?”

Vera giggles.

“Didn’t really know him,” Beard admits. “My parents divorced when I was around 2. He disappeared after that.”

I wish my Dad fucking disappeared, Jamie thinks. It would’ve made his life a lot easier. Made his Mum’s life a lot easier.

“That’s shit,” is what he says to Beard instead.

“I’ve met your Dad, Jamie,” Willis says to him. “It’s shit but better than what you had to deal with.”

“Yeah,” Jamie says, making silly faces at Vera.

“But Vera,” Beard says to his daughter in the type of voice one only talks to babies with. “Is going to be have a much better Dad, aren’t you mi lady?”

Vers giggles in agreement. Good, Jamie thinks. Vera deserves the Dad that Beard wants to be for her.

Simon

“What’s your Dad like?” Jamie asks his step-dad. It’s Father’s Day night and he’s at home in Manchester, visiting Georgie and Simon. Mum had gone to bed early, but Jamie was too wired to sleep. He’s on the sofa when Simon came back downstairs and sat with him, silently watching television with him.

Jamie’s 19, he just left his own Father’s flat, after he passed out drunk. James had guilted Jamie into taking him to a fancy dinner, where he promptly ordered the most expensive scotch on the menu and told the kindly waiter to keep them coming. Jamie barely got him home before he passed out. Jamie snuck out while he slept and instead of going to his own flat, he just wanted to see his Mum. He hated Father’s Day, he always wants to make it a second Mum’s Day as one day is never enough.

When Jamie was younger, before his Dad started coming around, he always hated Father’s Day. They had to make cards in school and Jamie, with neither a Father, Grandad or even an Uncle to make a card for was always made fun of by the other kids when they saw his hastily made card with Happy Father’s Day Mummy scrawled across the front.

But then his Dad started to show up again, didn’t he. Expecting cards and love like he didn’t dole his own love out with insults and bruises. And it’s always been easier to do something with his prick of a Dad then deal with the consequences if he doesn’t. His money makes it easier now, Dad is happy with an expensive gift and a steak, he doesn’t have to put in the effort or the same time he did before he was being played to play football.

Jamie is a dutiful step-son though, and always wants to make his Mum happy, so he’s always gotten Simon a Father’s Day gift but he was saved from having to spend the day with him as Simon goes to see his own Dad. Not that his own Dad would’ve allowed it.

“He’s a lot like me, I guess,” Simon tells him. Jamie’s met the man a couple times, and saw him at the wedding, but he doesn’t think he’s really talked to the man. “At least that’s what my Mum used to say. Two peas in a pod.”

“Was he a teacher too?” Jamie asks.

“He was a principal,” Simon tells him. “Even was my principal when I was in primary school.”

“That must’ve been tough,” Jamie says, he can’t imagine being around his Dad every day in school.

“Oh not really,” Simon tells him. “We walked to school together everyday, it was nice.”

It strikes Jamie how different he is from Simon, their upbringings, their interests, all they have in common sometimes he thinks is loving his Mum.

“I’d go mad if I had to see my Dad fucking everyday,” Jamie tells him, internally wincing at the f word. Simon never chastises him for swearing but Jamie knows he doesn’t like it.

“Your Dad is a different sort, Jamie. I’m lucky to have a Dad like mine. Yours is lucky to have a son like you,” Simon says to him, smiling sadly. “I’m lucky to have a son like you.”

Son, Jamie thinks bitterly. Wants to spit back he’s not his son but holds his tongue. What would he be like if Simon had been his Dad and not his prick of a father? Or married his Mum when he was 6 and not 16. Jamie probably wouldn’t be nearly as good at footie, but would he be happier? Simon’s been his step-dad for a few years but Jamie’s never thought of the man as a father, or even in a father role. Simon is perfectly nice, perfectly fine. He makes his Mum happy so that’s good. But he’s kind of just there. Jamie hasn’t thought of Simon as more than his mother’s husband.

But Simon just called him son. Simon who always cooks for him when he’s home and tries his best to make whatever fits in his nutrition plan or whatever Jamie requests of him. The same Simon who asks him about all his football matches even though he knows he doesn’t like or understand the game. Simon who does his laundry when he’s home and drives Mum to any matches she wants to go to. Usually ones they know his Dad won’t be at.

Simon, who the few times they’ve been in the same room just took James’ insults rather than say something back and make a scene. At the time Jamie thought him a pussy for not responding in kind to his father. Now Jamie thinks that’s his father’s voice saying it in his head rather than his own. It made his Dad so angry when Simon ignored him, something Jamie now understands is a choice, a message, even more so than any retort back to James would be.

“I guess,” Jamie says to him, shrugging, wondering why he’s never really let Simon in. He wonders if he has the father he deserves after all.

+1

Jamie looks down at the newborn baby in his arms, David George Tartt, and can’t keep the smile from his lips.

His son starts to fuss a little, Jamie rocks him back and forth, softly singing “Baby Tartt, do do do do do do, Baby Tartt do do do do do do, Baby Tartt, do do do do do do, Baby Tartt.”

The baby settles quickly and Jamie whispers to him, “You remember your Dad singing that while in your Mummy’s tummy then yeah Little Davey?”

“I can’t believe he’s finally here,” his wife says to him, an exhausted smile on her face while looking at the picture perfect image of her husband and their son.

“He’s perfect,” Jamie says to her, not taking his eyes off his baby boy.

“Of course he is,” she laughs. “He looks just like the pictures Georgie showed me of you as a baby.”

His Mum is going to lose it at the sight of her sexy little baby holding his own sexy little baby. Georgie and Simon are on their way, probably breaking all sorts of traffic laws. Jamie can’t wait for his son to meet his Gigi and Grandpa.

“You think so?” Jamie asks her. The swell of brown hair and grey eyes certainly favour him.

“I do,” his wife says. “And I already know he takes after you if all the kicking he did to my insides is any indication.”

Jamie turns to smile at his wife, a new level of love for her building that he didn’t think was possible. He had no idea what childbirth was going to be like, but watching his wife through hours of labor, he has a new respect for mother’s everywhere, and in particular his wife and his own. Jamie walks over to sit on the edge of the bed next to her.

His wife wraps her arm around her boys, laying her head on Jamie’s shoulder.

“Little Davey is so lucky to have you for a Dad,” she tells Jamie. “And I’m lucky to have this DILF for a husband.”

She kisses him on the cheek, then turns to place a hand on her son’s tiny chest, feeling the steady rise and fall as she gazes at his perfect little face. “And how do you like your Dad, little man? You are a very lucky little boy. Your Dad is the best man I know. He’s funny, and sweet, he’s loyal, and giving, and he’s going to be the very best Dad. Already is.”

Jamie would be lying if he said he hadn’t freaked out numerous times during the pregnancy. His own father had been absent, at best, and abusive, at worst. He knew from stories that James Tartt, Sr.’s own Dad had been similar. But everyone in his life, including his Mum, his wife, Roy, Simon, Doctor Sharon, even Ted, had assured him that he could break the cycle. And if Jamie was certain of one thing, it’s that he would. Jamie Tartt is going to be the father that his son deserves.