#danielle absolutely nailed it as expected

[mayasdeluca]

MAYA AND MASON STATION 19: 7x07 'Give It All'

[vivwritesfics]

PLEASE can we get more HOAF ?? Maybe their wedding with absolutely adorable Milo and Olivia OR their wedding night 👀👀👀 ~nurse-sainz

as two of you know, I've been seriously thinking about the hoaf second series. It has a title, but, because I don't want to start ANOTHER series until I finish a current one, it's something I'm going to be working on behind the scenes

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Warnings: Pregnancy, pregnancy hormones

Series Masterlist

Feel free to buy me a coffee ☕☕

She'd never expected to be pregnant on her wedding day. It was nobody's dream, to be round and swollen while stuffed into a pretty white dress that you just know would look so much better if you weren't pregnant, on your feet all day, unable to partake in any of the drinking.

Her bachelorette party wasn't all that. But she didn't want it to be. The only people she would have invited were the other wags, girls she didn't know all that well. No, her bachelorette party was her and Olivia getting their hair and nails done.

They ended the day getting dinner, just the two of them. They sat there, sharing a too big pizza while Olivia went over her details plans of the wedding.

It was the best bachelorette party ever.

Daniel had two bachelor parties. One that was organised by Max and Lando to be the wildest night of his life, with almost all of the grid accompanying them. And one where he could invite Milo.

The party with Milo was mini golf. Carlos was happy to carry Milo around on his shoulders, teach him all that he knew. The boys had all agreed to let Milo win, but he didn't have to know that. After the golf they had dinner and drinks.

One thing about Milo was he couldn't keep his mouth shut about the baby. Maybe Daniel should have reminded him that Baby Ricciardo was a secret, but he didn't expect Milo to just blurt it out, either.

But none of the drivers were surprised. They couldn't be surprised about baby Ricciardo, not when the couple hadn't exactly been good at hiding it. Daniel's hand on her stomach, the little list of baby names they'd all seen on his phone.

The party without Milo, when Milo was at home with Olivia and his momma, it really was a party. Loud music, drinks, dancing, it had everything. But, the moment Daniel got more than three drinks in his system, he was talking about her.

Arm over Max's shoulder as he slurred out his name and how much he loved her. "I want to have another girl," he said to Max, but it was barely audible. "A little girl that looks just like her."

When she had her first dress fitting, there wasn't a bump. Or, at least, the bump did little to change her frame. Her dream dress fit like a glove and Daniel's mother was crying.

It was naïve to think that the dress would still fit by the time the wedding rolled around. Her bump had gotten exponentially bigger, to the point where she couldn't hit it anymore. Now that the drivers knew, it was only time that the rest of the world knew.

They didn't announce it in any way. No, Daniel's Instagram usually had a picture of her in his photo dumps and this was no exception. Just, this time, her bump was visible in the picture.

If the world of F1 was losing its collective shit, neither of them noticed. The Ricciardo family was wrapped up in their own little bubble, just the way they liked it.

A week before the wedding, her dream dress wasn't fitting. Why the fuck wasn't it fitting? Well, she knew why. It was stupid to think anything would fit over her bump.

"I hate this baby," she said through tears as she rubbed her bump. No, she didn't hate baby Ricciardo, not in the slightest. Actually, she loved baby Ricciardo more than anything. But still, she couldn't help but wish she wasn't pregnant.

The dress she wore on her wedding day wasn't her dream dress. She couldn't wear those cute white heels she wanted to wear, couldn't even see her feet.

As she stared at herself in the mirror, just an hour away from being walked down the aisle, an hour away from marrying the love of her life, she was ready to cry. She held it back, though, couldn't afford to ruin her makeup. "What're we gonna do with you?" She whispered as she cradled her bump.

"Momma?"

She looked at Milo in the mirror before she turned towards him. "C'mere, baby," she said and held her hands out towards him. Fuck, how was he almost seven?

As her son wrapped his arms around her, she wanted time to stop. Just stop, let her live in this moment forever. He was growing up so damn fast, he was going to be a big brother soon. "You look beautiful, momma," he said.

This time, she couldn't help the tears. Stupid pregnancy hormones. "Thank you, Miley," she said through a shaky breath as she stood up and grabbed a tissue. Gently she dabbed at her eyes, trying to save her makeup.

She smoothed her dress over her bump and took Milo's hand. "Let's go become Ricciardos."

Daniel had never been this nervous before. Not in his first race back after McLaren had let him go. He was sweating in his suit as Max stood with him. All of their guests were seated, but the most important people were missing.

The door opened and Olivia and one of her friends, one that had been over a few times, walked in. They tossed the petals out of the little white basket as she walked in behind her.

Daniel knew her relationship with her family was... strenuous, at best. That was why they weren't at the wedding. With her father not there to walk her down the aisle, Milo held her hand.

Daniel's breath caught in his throat. He knew she wasn't in her dream dress, not the dress that matched Olivia's, but she still looked amazing. Holy fuck, it was enough to bring tears to her eyes. But that wasn't what actually did it.

Milo was the one walking her down the aisle. Milo in his little suit that near matched Daniels. He stood tall and proud, head held high as he walked his mother towards his step father. 

The kids sat together through the ceremony. Milo couldn’t stop himself from fiddling with the little pieces of petals as his mother got married. They were incredibly well behaved throughout, with Olivia’s grandparents, and Milo’s grandparents now, too, keeping them company. 

This close, Daniel could see the faults in her makeup. He didn’t care about the faults, she looked gorgeous with or without it. But still, Daniel could see the smudges under her eyes as he slipped the ring onto her finger. 

Mrs Ricciardo. She was Mrs Ricciardo now. 

Daniel didn’t say anything about the evidence of her tears as he kissed her. And, once he had his mouth on her, he never wanted to stop kissing her. He couldn’t dip her, like he wanted to, but his hand cradled her bump, cradled baby Ricciardo. His baby. She was his wife and she was carrying his baby. 

This was the best day of his life. 

Their family and friends were cheering as he walked her out of the church and into the car. Even then, even in the car, he couldn’t keep his lips on her. But he had to make sure she was okay, that took precedent. Even knowing that, Daniel couldn’t pull his lips away from her own. So the words were mumbled against her lips. “Were you crying?”

He tried to sound concerned, by her lips against his had his voice coming out as more of a desperate whine. 

But, as soon as he said it, she pulled away. “I’m fine, Danny,” she said and went to rub at her eyes, rub away the evidence of her tears.

Daniel caught her wrists. “You look beautiful,” he whispered and kissed her again. “My wife looks beautiful.”

The way she looked up at him, fuck, he could have kept her in that car forever. “Say it again.”

“My wife.”

When they arrived at the reception venue, their friends and family were there, waiting. As soon as they climbed out of the car, Milo and Olivia were pulling away from their grandparents, racing towards them. Daniel couldn’t help but pick Olivia up and place her on his hip as Milo held his mothers leg.

“Are we a family now?” Olivia asked, her voice coming out almost like a demand. 

But nobody could blame her. She’d been waiting for this moment for a year and a half. 

Daniel rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. “We always were a family, Badger.”

There was no part of her wedding that the new Mrs Ricciardo didn’t enjoy. She wasn’t in her dream dress, but, now she had that ring on her finger, now she was married to the love of her life, she didn’t much care. 

She danced, but she didn’t dance the night away, like she had dreamed. She couldn’t help but be emotional as she sat with Daniel’s parents, her mother and father in law, watching the guests at her wedding. They were dancing more than she was, at her own wedding. 

Holding her bump, speaking softly to baby Ricciardo, she watched as her husband and her children danced. Daniel’s grin was so wide as the three of them were the centre of attention on the dance floor. That was the man she loved. That was the man she married. 

“Your daddy, your siblings and I can’t wait to meet you,” she whispered to baby Ricciardo as her mother and father in law watched on, hearts melting. “You’ve got the best daddy going.”

And, as Daniel put Olivia down after spinning her around, he looked over to his wife. She smiled at him, a smile he’d never forget. As Olivia went to dance with Lando and Max took Milo to get something to drink, Daniel walked over to her. 

“Hi, baby,” he said as his hand met her bump. And then he looked up at his wife, meeting her eyes. “Hi, Mrs Ricciardo.”

“Hi, Mr Ricciardo.”

He kissed her, and she never wanted to let him go.

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[salethe2]

I’ve seen a lot of takes on this scene, and honestly they’re all so interesting, so I decided to give my perspective.

Okay, starting with Armand’s costume, which Carol Cutshall absolutely nailed. Here’s what she said about Armand’s costume design:

—“One of the things about Armand is he is so ancient and so powerful that he always presents himself as very open. Whereas some of the other characters are very covered up, he’s always very open because he really doesn’t see anyone as a threat to himself. He didn’t have any predators or any reason to be on guard, or be armoured.”

Personally, I find this design choice fascinating because, despite being a predator at the top of the food chain, vampires like Armand, especially as a coven leader, would normally need to remain vigilant. Yet, he’s completely at ease, even surrounded by other vampires.

I mean, look at him here. Sure, it’s not the deep, open V-neck shirts he wears in the interview scenes, but his outfit is still loose and open. And he’s literally surrounded by a group of vampires he knows are plotting against him. He even has his back to said vampires and yet, he’s not the least bit nervous in either situation!

Even with Daniel, he’s not nervous or afraid because he doesn’t initially see him as a threat.

So, if Armand isn’t scared of his own coven—a bunch of vampires ready to kill him at the first opportunity—or Daniel, who could potentially expose all his manipulations, then why on earth does he go into full armor mode to meet a seemingly inconsequential human he’s never encountered before? He’s literally in a turtleneck, shielding his most vulnerable area for crying at loud!

A for body language—honestly, Assad Zaman deserved an Emmy for this scene. We see Armand being aloof, a little suave and condescending, employing the whole, “I’m a four-century-old vampire; you’re just a lowly human” tactic. It’s like he’s sizing her up, wanting to understand who she is while simultaneously aiming to provoke her, curious to see how she will react.

As for his questions, he frames them in the way you might expect a coven leader to interrogate a human he’s about to turn. Questions like, “How will you survive? Are you okay with killing people and being a monster?” It almost seems like he’s trying to make her reconsider her decision to turn, but it’s all a facade.

Because the question he really wants to ask is the last one, and when he finally approaches it, his entire demeanor shifts.

He sheds the suave demeanor and shifts to a more serious tone, embodying what Louis describes as his "post-apocalyptic look." He towers over Madeleine, gazing down at her in an attempt to intimidate. At this point, Madeleine's expression turns genuinely nervous, perhaps even frightened—and understandably so. Yet, she holds her ground. It's then that Armand poses the crucial question he had come specifically to ask.

“And what will you do in a few decades when she throws herself into the fire? Because she will.”

Now, why does this question seem familiar? It’s because Armand has previously made a similar statement to Louis. He had forewarned Louis that Claudia’s mind was bound to deteriorate over time. Now, Louis tearfully countered that Armand couldn’t be sure of this, yet part of him probably recognized the truth in Armand’s words, which likely contributed to his emotional plea for Armand to look after her.

Armand realized then that Louis, despite his deep love for Claudia, lacked the resolve to keep her grounded, effectively sealing her fate, which seemed all but inevitable by that point. He even assigns Claudia the role of Lulu as a way to infantilize her and further break her spirit—almost as a test to gauge Louis’ reaction. Unfortunately, Louis does nothing about it, while Madeleine clearly recognizes it for the manipulation it is.

And what does she do next? Madeleine quickly gets Claudia out of that outfit and into one more fitting for her. By doing this, she threatens Armand’s plans without even realizing it.

It’s also interesting to note that the only time Armand is ever truly angry with Claudia is when he sees her with Madeleine. This reaction underscores the threat he perceives in their bond, disrupting his control of the situation, and here is why.

When Armand posed the question to Madeleine about what she would do when Claudia throws herself into the fire, her response was:

“Or maybe she won’t. You don’t know. Maybe I’m what she needs to survive.”

And the way she meets his gaze as she says this marks a shift in their conversation. Throughout their entire conversation, Madeleine often looks away and breaks eye contact, but not in this moment. Here, she meets his gaze head-on. Even though she is clearly nervous, and likely a bit scared, she holds his gaze because she is sure of her words. This is a powerful moment where Madeleine not only asserts her belief but also turns the tables—now, it’s Armand’s turn to feel uneasy.

Of course, you don’t see it in his face, but it’s evident in his body language. The way he becomes closed off, his hand fidgeting, and his gaze fixed ahead as if deep in thought. He doesn’t even refute her.

Even with Lestat, when he warns him about Nicky, Armand doesn’t stay silent; he confidently affirms his insights, and Lestat—of all people—clearly believes him. But with Madeleine, it’s a different story. He goes silent, not uttering a word in response. He doesn’t attempt to persuade her because he recognizes that her mind is made up, her resolve unshakable. But perhaps the words that really hit home for him were “You don’t know.” This was probably the words that sealed Madeleine’s fate because the last thing you want to say to a master manipulator and control freak like Armand is that they don’t know something. Because now, all of a sudden Claudia’s death isn’t a certainty anymore and he can’t just sit back and wait for her to lose her sanity. He must take matters into his own hands now.

Anyway, one might think that Madeleine and Claudia leaving, thereby leaving Louis all to Armand, would satisfy him. After all, one of the first things he asks Claudia and Madeleine is if they’re considering returning to Paris, and you might assume Madeleine’s answer pleased him. However, her answer doesn’t satisfy him, not after what Madeleine says soon after.

Madeleine’s words confirm that Claudia indeed loves Louis, and because Madeleine loves Claudia, she persuades her to return to Paris despite her obvious and valid disdain for the city. This revelation proves to Armand, even if they leave Louis, Madeleine and Claudia will always remain a significant part of Louis’s life. For Armand, this is intolerable. To him, Claudia is a dangerous manipulator and a competitor of Louis’s attention.

So even if they all lived happy, separate lives, Armand’s nature is such that he cannot live with the doubt and fear that Claudia might draw Louis away from him. Having been abandoned too many times in his life, deeply wounded by those closest to him, and left behind for others, he cannot risk experiencing that pain again.

Thus, in that moment when he speaks to Madeleine in the apartment, he decides that both she and Claudia need to be eliminated. I believe this was the real reason Armand was there under the pretense of turning her. He needed to evaluate how much of a threat Madeleine posed to his plans, and upon realizing she was basically a live grenade, he knew he needed to act swiftly to get rid of her. Because as long as Madeleine is present, so will Claudia, and as long as Claudia exists, Louis will never truly belong to Armand.

[cradle-quill]

Surrender, an ABDL Story by CradleQuill (18+)

Disclaimer: All content is fictional, consensual, and intended only for mature audiences. All characters depicted are adults aged 18+ _

Daniel stopped typing and looked up from his manuscript. His eyes wandered to Isabelle, who sat at the other end of their shared table, supposedly chipping away at her latest work project. Her brow was stuck in a permanently furrowed state, and she was massaging her temples as she stared down at her computer screen. She had been at this for hours now. Every so often, a burst of inspiration would hit, and the sound of her acrylic nails tapping away at her mechanical keys would fill the room. Those bursts would not last, though. Before too long, Daniel would notice that the sound of his girlfriend working would disappear, replaced with a suffocating silence that lingered throughout the air, threatening to choke the life from him if he dared say a word.

It had been over thirty minutes since inspiration had last struck, and Daniel knew Isabelle was hitting her wall. He also knew she would be reluctant to admit as much. He looked back to his writing and saw he had hit his word count for the day, so he leaned back and took a deep breath. Daniel eyed Isabelle as he wondered if she was paying attention to his movements.

“You know, honey,” Daniel said with a hitch in his voice. “Maybe it’s about time for you to take a break. Relax for a bit and see if the solution comes to you.”

Isabelle shut her eyes, looking annoyed. She let out a hefty sigh. “I can’t take a break yet. I’m on the clock for another three hours, and I need to finish this by the end of the day.”

Daniel carefully considered his next words. He knew how she got when there were stakes involved, especially when those stakes involved her boss, Jim. He also knew Isabelle had a penchant for building these things up in her head and assuming the worst. “Do you actually need to finish this one today, or is it more so that you’re going to be mad at yourself if you don’t finish it?”

Isabelle shot two twin daggers for eyes at him, and he immediately got the memo. He leaned forward, and in his mind, he debated whether he wanted to continue speaking. In the end, his gut told him to keep going. “You know, honey,” he began, his voice as gentle and soothing as light rain tapping on a window. “It would probably be easier to get a lot more work done if you gave your mind the chance to rest. You don’t want to overwork yourself and fry those thoughts before they come to fruition.”

“And what would you know about that?” Isabelle snapped back. “It’s not like you work an actual job, anyway. I have deadlines, Daniel. People expect me to finish things by certain times, and I’m already behind as is. So please, lay off and let me handle it.”

By the time she reached the end of her little diatribe, she was nearly out of breath, huffing and puffing out of anger. Her cheeks were bright red, but they faded to a lighter shade of pink once she realized that her temper had gotten the better of her. Daniel just sat there, staring at her. There was no judgment in his eyes, not even pain. Isabelle struggled to read him, but as best she could tell, he was unbothered, though also very serious.

She knew she ought to apologize, and part of her even wanted to. It was the mature thing to do. Even if she had a point, she went about expressing that point in the absolute wrong way. At the same time, she could feel that another side of her, a more stubborn, petty side, had latched onto this little spat and decided it was unwilling to move an inch. While she sat there in her purgatory of mind, Daniel stood up from the table. She watched him close his laptop and wander over to where his coat was hung up next to the door.

“Daniel, wait…” She clambered out of her chair and onto her feet.

“Not another word.” Daniel’s tone was stern, but it held the same underlying gentleness as his earlier words. She knew he meant it. He did not want to hear another word escape from her lips, and as hard as that stubborn side of her tried to fight it, she managed to hold it back and keep her mouth shut. She couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes. Instead, all she offered was a nod.

“I’ll be back soon. I won’t be long,” Daniel said before pulling on his coat and leaving through their apartment’s front door. On his way out, she heard the pitters and patters of his boots as he trailed down the stairs to the parking lot.

Minutes passed, and Isabelle had still not returned to her work. Her heart was nearly in her throat. She knew she had messed up, but she hoped it would not be as bad as it seemed. Daniel said he would not be long, and Isabelle would just have to trust that. He wouldn’t just leave her there, all alone, over one fight. If you could even call it a fight. It was more like a temper tantrum. She could hardly call herself a stressed out adult who had been snippy. It was more like she was a spiteful adolescent lashing out at a parent. It reminded her of her teenage years, and for that she felt deep shame.

When another few minutes had passed, and Isabelle still could not get her mind off of things, she forced herself to look back at her computer screen. Sitting there doing nothing would not help. At least if she got some work done, it would be a serviceable distraction until Daniel returned from wherever he had gone off to. He probably just went for a walk to clear his head, Isabelle thought. She hoped it was nothing more than that.

After around another thirty minutes, the familiar sound of Daniel’s boots trudging up the stairs to their apartment rang through the building, and Isabelle let out a sigh of relief she had been holding onto since the moment he left. When he returned through the door, Isabelle noticed something under his arm. Whatever it was, it was double-bagged in two white grocery bags, and she could not make out any signifying labels from beneath the coat of white.

“What’s that?” She asked, but Daniel did not answer.

“Come with me,” was all he said before making his way through the halls and into their bedroom. He had that same tone from earlier, the one that refused to be bargained with, so Isabelle did as she was told. She stood up from the table and followed him into their room, where Daniel was making the bed. He had opened their closet door and pulled out a black leather riding crop, which now sat beside him on the nightstand.

“No, absolutely not-” Isabelle said, but Daniel cut her off.

“You will not take that kind of tone with me. You know better than to speak to me that way, and you know better than to insult me.” He finished making the bed, ensuring it was nice and level for her to sprawl out on. “You also know that I was right about you needing a break. You would never have snapped at me like that if you weren’t so stressed. Now, be an obedient girl for me and lay flat on your stomach.”

Isabelle squirmed where she stood, clenching her legs together and trying not to show how obviously wiggly she was. Deep down, she loved when he got like this. She found him so… irresistible when he took charge. “I-I don’t think now is the t-time…” she trailed off, unable to finish her own thought. Her thoughts seemed to get lost somewhere along the way from her mind to her mouth, disappearing before she could bring them to life through her words.

Daniel simply ignored her. He wore that same unphased demeanor from earlier, and somehow, that made him seem even more threatening. With the crop and sheets all prepped and ready, he bent down and opened his mysterious package, revealing a large bag of disposable diapers, the kinds for little kids who still wet their beds.

“Absolutely not!” Isabelle declared. Her voice was forceful and unwavering. Yet when his eyes met hers, hers darted away. She could not hold his gaze.

“I’m not asking. Lay down on the bed, take your spanking, and then I’m going to put you into something more appropriate for the way you’ve been behaving.”

“I’m not… wearing that.” She folded her arms and gave her best pout.

Daniel turned to face her, not speaking for several seconds. Each subsequent second felt longer than the last, and with each one that passed, Isabelle felt her knees getting weaker, ready to give way. After a full minute of silent stillness, Daniel suddenly approached her. He got right up in her face, forcing her to stand at attention just to avoid him running into her.

Their faces were mere inches apart when he said, “I have seen your BDSMTest results. I know what you’re into. I know how you like to be treated.” He paused just long enough to let her mouth fall open, and for a breathless gasp to flee from her open lips. “You have a safe word. Use it. Or don’t use it, and lay down on the bed right this instant.”

Isabelle could not believe what she was hearing. Even less could she believe her legs started inching their way forward without her permission. Daniel was right. She had a safe word, but she did not utter it. Before she knew it, she was crawling onto the bed, sprawling out over it. Daniel came up from behind her and gave her a forceful push, slamming her stomach onto the bed as she let out a reluctant moan that refused to be held back. A familiar wetness dampened her inner thighs.

As she tried to compose herself, to gather her thoughts which seemed to float around aimlessly in the sea of her mind, there was a sharp sting against one of her butt cheeks, and then the other. The sound of the slaps came first, with the pain settling in whole seconds later. By the time she felt the pain from one, Daniel’s crop was already onto the next. She desperately clung to her physical presence, to keep herself grounded within the moment. She was an adult, a grown woman, someone who was self-sufficient and well adjusted. Except, she wasn’t any of those things.

With each strike of the crop, those illusions, those lies that she told herself, they disappeared bit by bit, until they had faded into nothing more than memories just out of reach. All that was left was herself. Her true self, the one she kept locked away where no one could see. In mere moments, Daniel had beaten it out of her. She could hardly even feel the pain anymore. Instead, it was as if she were floating in the middle of the ocean, with no land anywhere to be found. Or perhaps she was soaring through the air, diving between the clouds, with no rules or expectations hoisted upon her shoulders. She was free. In her bondage, in her submission to him, she was free.

When the spanking was finished, Isabelle’s bottom was bright red and sore. The earlier marks were even beginning to turn purple as her skin bruised. She just laid there, her mouth agape, with tears streaming down her cheeks. Daniel grabbed hold of her and pulled her into his embrace. “There, there, little one. It’s all over. I’ve got you now.” The sternness had left his voice. Now, there was just that same old gentleness, like the first autumn breeze of the year.

She sobbed into his shoulder, and all the while, he held her and cooed at her. He rocked her gently, careful not to exacerbate the pain coursing through her bruised bottom. Once she had settled down and centered herself right there in his presence, in his dominance, he laid her down on the bed. She went limp, ready to let him do whatever he pleased with her. However, Daniel did not take her as she thought he would. No, instead, he ripped open the package of Pull-Ups and slid one over her feet and up her legs. Isabelle’s hands shot up to her face to hide her humiliation, but the childish gesture only served to make her seem more helpless and infantile.

With little effort, Daniel hoisted Isabelle up and pulled the glorified diaper snug into place. She had to admit; it wasn’t so bad. The padding was soft against her princess parts, and the way the garment hugged her hips made her feel swaddled and protected. She was safe. Safe in her Pull-Ups and safe under Daniel’s thumb, right where she belonged. She needed it. She yearned for it.

Daniel wrapped her in his arms once more and laid her head on his chest. He rocked her gently, humming a soft little tune to soothe her. Isabelle closed her eyes and let herself relax, finally. For the first time in longer than she cared to remember, she was at peace. All her worries and concerns had drifted away, and despite her sore bottom and weakened pride, she could not help but smile.

“There’s my girl,” Daniel said. He aimed his own soft smile down at her, and as she looked into his eyes, she did not find disdain or malice there. Instead, she found only wordless comfort and reassurance. “I think someone was extra fussy today and needed an attitude adjustment.” She blushed even more furiously at that.

“D-Daniel…” Isabelle’s meek voice chirped out like a baby bird making its first call.

“Yes, my love?”

“I’m s-sorry… for what I said… and the way I said it.”

“I know you are, sweetie. I know you didn’t mean it. You were stressed, and you lashed out. Little girls do that from time to time.”

“N-no but… I’m serious. I shouldn’t have said those things.”

“Hush, little one. I know you’re sorry, and I know you’re being sincere. I’m telling you it’s alright, that you don’t have to apologize. You don’t have to do or be anything right now. You can just sit here in my arms, and you can just be my little girl, if that’s what you want.” He gave her the kindest smile anyone had ever given her, and in that moment, the last of her reservations gave way. “That is what you want, isn’t it, baby?” All she could do was nod.

That night, she drifted off to sleep in her boyfriend’s arms. Come the next day, she wouldn’t think of him as her boyfriend at all anymore. Instead, she would see him as her Daddy. And by the time she woke the next morning, she would find herself filled with a sense of undeniable bliss, and a new sensation altogether. One of thickness and absorbency between her legs. One that would go on to define the rest of her life to come, and the way her Daddy would look at her as his good little bedwetter.

THE END _

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[pseudophan]

some post wad weekend thoughts...

i just wrote all this on the plane and haven't read it through so apologies for any mistakes

first of all, this weekend was incredible. i usually just kinda sit at home doing not much of anything, and this was a much needed break to actually have some fun. london in general always lifts my spirits but i suppose that danisnotonfire guy contributed a little as well.

guys i think i've met more people the past few days than i otherwise have in years. like. holy shit. i started listing people but i'm petrified i'll forget someone so i chickened out, sorry about that. but you all know who you are. i've met friends i've had for years, people i used to know but haven't spoken to in what feels like a decade, newer friends, and a frankly baffling amount of people i didn't know yet but who told me they've followed me for ages. like holy fuck you guys lmao what the hell??? and i mean did the reaction ever get old no of course it didn't. bad for my ego i'm sure but totally worth it. there's something very amusing and incredibly surreal about being chronically lame in most aspects of life and then suddenly finding yourself in an environment where you're kinda cool???? SO fucking fun oh my god, but also i do kinda feel like i've tricked you all? but hey i'll happily let you keep believing i'm cool, that is more than fine with me.

most importantly though everyone was SO lovely. like i said i don't think i've spoken to this many people in such a short amount of time in years and every single person i talked to was awesome. guys did you know phannies are kind of great... don't tell anyone but, lowkey... everyone is so funny and cool and absolutely insane but in a good way (shoutout everyone left at the gates until the very end, we should probably get some help).

and then lastly of course, mr howell himself. i talk about this a lot i feel like but fuck me that man was born to perform. whether you think he's actually funny or not, nobody can argue he doesn't absolutely thrive on a stage. he plays off the audience so well and he's so very obviously having the time of his fucking life. i'd already seen the show twice before this, and i didn't think anything would top the previous london show but man... the first night he came back out after the show having clearly been tearing up backstage, apologising for being an inconsistent absent parent, and i can't lie the "i had daddy issues and THEN i subscribed to dan howell" got me cause yeah no literally dude, you nailed it, exactly, well done. i think something about doing this show again, his magnum opus as he considers it, now after the dapg return was very special to him. he seems genuinely surprised that so many of us were ready to just jump back in like nothing happened, i don't think he was expecting so many people to still be waiting and it's... man. he comes off so grateful for us all and it's so fucking sweet. and then on the last night, i think that was my favourite, when the show ended and he got the standing ovation and people throwing him flowers.. he was so HAPPY. and clearly overwhelmed with emotion which, i gotta say, there is something honestly kinda funny about daniel howell standing in front of you trying not to cry. like no by all means dude go ahead, please, you've made me cry an endless amount of times it's only fair.

ugh. i'm proud of him or whatever. dick. and i'm proud of our ridiculous fucking community. i'm not sure what 14 year old nora would say if you'd told me i'd still be kicking it in the phandom a decade on, but at almost 25 (fml) i'm so so happy to be here still. you know, we get a bad rep, but i genuinely think as far as fanbases go we're pretty solid. and i love you all so much.

i believe i will have to rob a bank or something because the next time dan and/or phil do a tour i think i'll have to just show up at every date like i'm sorry but this was too good of a high we need to do it again immediately

anyway. back to work 💪

(by which i mean giffing dan and phil. i am still very much unemployed. fr though i'm two whole videos behind this has never happened i feel weird. who am i)

[sauxyan]

Went to a meet-and-greet with Daniel Handler/Lemony Snicket at Doylestown Bookshop last friday! This is the second time I have met him, the first time I didn't expect to see him.* I don't like my photo taken but I love the funny photos he takes with everyone, so as a kind of last minute idea I asked if he would pose "with" my Snicket Pup (which I had shown him last time we met, lol) and I was prepared for him to say absolutely not, but...not only did he do it, he nailed it. I just told him to do whatever he wanted and I love how it came out! He said he always wanted to know what it would be like to be Bob Hoskins in Who Framed Roger Rabbit so I hope I got the right vibe. *It was at a play he was workshopping and everyone told me he'd probably be there but I was a fool and thought of course he wouldn't be, he'd be watching it remotely at MOST, why would be be in New Jersey?? Yeah so of course I was wrong about that. I'm an idiot.

He also signed some books for me and I gave him a gift (a hand typed/bound/illustrated book, my translations of a small collection of 100 year old works by Kenji Miyazawa). It was such an amazing experience, once again! If you ever get a chance to meet this wonderful man, do!

Also read his new memoir, And Then? And Then? What Else? It's really, really good! (I ended up with four copies by accident but I don't regret it because they each had something special attached, i.e. the first one came two weeks early for no reason, which allowed me to read it at my own pace before meeting with him, which made me very happy! Forgot to ask my questions specific to that book, though, damn it!)

[schumachersricciardo]

Shiver

Chapter Three - You Came, You Called

♡ Mick Schumacher x Reader, Best friend!Danny Ricc x reader

♡ TW: Swearing, inaccurate timeline of F1/F2/F3, NOT CURRENT/ACCURATE representation of 2024 Grid, badly translated German using Google, HEAVY ANGST, hurt, inebriation via alcohol, talking about being drunk, MENTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE, not proofread, a lot of crying, arguing, yelling, etc. idk i think i got everything

♡ She/Her pronouns are used, nothing descriptive about reader except that her hair is long enough to pull back into a ponytail or braid, no reader insert, timeline skips. ALSO: WARNING!!!! I will barely be mentioning Michael Schumacher. I do not presume to know what he is thinking, or would say in these fictional scenarios. I am trying to be respectful of their privacy and not make any assumptions!!!!!! He will be mentioned here and there, but I do not believe any dialogue will be associated with him. If you do not like that, then do not read it. :)

♡ 4k words

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based on the song “you should probably leave” by chris stapleton

There was something about being in the Mercedes paddock during a dominating season. Lewis Hamilton was consistently winning races, and Mick was consistently scoring points. Nick hadn’t gotten a podium yet, but you had a gut feeling that he was due soon and by soon, you really felt it was going to be this race.

It was the Miami Grand Prix (GP) and there were rumors everywhere about this GP being the GP that Mick will get onto the podium. He qualified P4, and Lewis was going to be starting from the pole position. You were clad in your Mercedes gear, prepared to watch the race from the comfort of your own team’s garage. You didn’t have your own Formula Two race this weekend, so naturally you were asked (more like demanded) to show up and support your teammates. And of course, you had no objections.

The race continued on, and you remained watchful as you sat in the garage. Lewis was easily defending his first place finish, while Mick struggled to get past Checo Perez in front of him. You couldn’t lie either - You desperately wanted Mick to overtake him and take the podium. He had worked so hard to make sure that he made a name for himself, and that his efforts and success were his. You couldn’t imagine the pressure he was under as he carried the legendary last name, while continually also having to defend it. Who were you? You weren’t anybody. Sure, you were the first female reserve driver (ever) for Mercedes, and had fought tooth and nail for where you were today… But you didn’t have any added pressure, or expectation set by literally every single person and their mothers in motorsports. You were just you. And the just you was watching with bated breath as Mick fought for a spot on the podium.

“SCHUMACHER TRYING HIS HARDEST TO OVERTAKE PEREZ”

“PEREZ IN THE RED BULL IS NOT GIVING UP”

“SCHUMACHER IS DOING HIS BEST TO INTIMIDATE THE RED BULL IN FRONT OF HIM”

“PEREZ SEEMS TO BE HOLDING HIM OFF FOR NOW”

“PRESSURE FROM SCHUMACHER SEEMS TO BE GETTING TO PEREZ”

“CAN SCHUMACHER OVERTAKE THE RED BULL ON THIS NEXT TURN?”

“IT LOOKS LIKE…”

“PEREZ REALLY HAS NO OTHER CHOICE…”

“AND SCHUMACHER OVERTAKES PEREZ COMING OUT OF TURN 11 - SECURING HIS THIRD PLACE”

The Mercedes garage was going absolutely mad. There were cheers and applause everywhere you looked and listened. You couldn’t help but join into the celebrations yourself. You excitedly punched the air, a grin taking over your entire face. The camera panned to you as you were caught doing a celebratory mini-dance, but you certainly couldn’t care less. If anyone deserved this, it was Mick.

After things seemed to calm down, the garage realized there were still fifteen laps to go. Lewis was still leading, and Daniel Ricciardo was doing his best to close into Hamilton.

You had gotten quite close to Daniel in the last few months. He was sunshine personified, and for some reason… People like that always seemed to navigate their way towards you. You loved his accent, and the lightheartedness he brought to such a demanding sport. He was truly like the older brother you desperately wish you still had. It was bittersweet, really. There were so many of your brother’s qualities you saw in Daniel. The passing and fainting good memories you had of your brother were so similiar to the great memories you were currently making with Daniel that you honestly wanted to make sure you saved them for a rainy day.

“RICCIARDO SEEMS TO BE HAVING AN ISSUE FENDING OFF SCHUMACHER”

“MUCH LIKE THIS FATHER BEFORE HIM, SCHUMACHER IS SHOWING SOME OF THE BEST, MOST SKILLED, BUT ABSOLUTELY RELENTLESS DRIVING TODAY”

“COULD SCHUMACHER POSSIBLY OVERTAKE RICCIARDO AS WELL IN THE LAST TEN LAPS?”

“SCHUMACHER - PRESSING RICCIARDO AS THEY MAKE THEIR ROUNDS COMING INTO LAP EIGHT…”

“RICCIARDO IS DOING HIS BEST TO WATCH THOSE CORNERS”

“SCHUMACHER IS DRIVING THE BEST HE HAS EVER TODAY”

“RICCIARDO AND SCHUMACHER COMING AROUND THE SAME TURN THAT SCHUMACHER OVERTOOK PEREZ”

“CAN HE DO IT…”

“DENIED! THIS IS SOME OF THE MOST BRILLIANT DRIVING WE HAVE SEEN FROM RICCIARDO AS HE DENIES SCHUMACHER THE OVERTAKE”

You knew that Mick would be happy with third and a spot on the podium. After such a horrendous last season at Haas, he’s doing an amazing job showcasing his talent - Something you always knew he had; Something that was never tied to his last name and something that he worked for and earned on his own.

“AND THATS THE MIAMI GRAND PRIX! HAMILTON TAKES FIRST, RICCIARDO SECOND, AND BY SOME OF THE BEST DRIVING WE’VE EVER SEEN FROM HIM, SCHUMACHER IN THIRD!”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You were exhausted. You couldn’t lie. The shower steam was finally dissipating as you made your way into the bedroom to get ready for bed. The race was one of the best ones you had ever seen, and even better got to witness in person. The podium celebrations were high in excitement and emotion. How could you not be emotional? Your two teammates made it onto the podium, and one of your best friends did too. And sure, it was Miami, so of course you knew the boys would go out to celebrate. You expected nothing less, and wanted nothing less for them either. Putting on your pajamas pants and T-shirt, you moseyed on over to your bed, thrilled to be able to get comfortable and watch some truly bad television. You loved hotels and their comfy beds. You always loved being tucked in so tightly it felt like you were being mummified. And as you climbed into bed, turning the tv on for some auditory comfort, you realized you were a lot more exhausted than you thought.

Sleep must have overtaken you soon thereafter, because you were abruptly awoken by someone viciously slamming their fists on the hotel door. Groggily, you made your way to the door and opened it. Using Daniel’s shoulder as support, Mick was clearly drunk as Daniel grinned his famous smile at you. He was also probably drunk, but you knew for a fact that Daniel could definitely hold his liquor better than Mick.

“I think… this belongs… to you!” Daniel trudged through between hiccups.

Mick grinned a toothy grin at you, his cheeks pink with inebriation. You tilted your head and exhaled.

“He has his own room, Dan.” You crossed your arms over your chest trying not to laugh at the two clumsy idiots in front of you. “And where’s Lewis? Hopefully you didn’t ditch him.”

“Lew-Lewis is… Around. I think he’s with a lady.” Daniel shrugged. “And Mick was begging me to b-bring him to his lady! So here we are.”

Your eyes darted from one boy to the other as you contemplated taking in your drunk friend. Rubbing a hand over your face, you conceded and opened your hotel door wider.

“Just… Uh, put him on the couch. I’ll grab him some water…”

“Wait! The mini bar. Don’t touch anything there, they’ll charge you sooooooo much!” Daniel placed Mick on the couch, Mick giggling to himself and mumbling in German.

“Dan, it’s cute that you think I’ll be paying for anything in this minibar after having to care of……… that.” You motioned with your hand towards the entity that was Mick Schumacher sprawled out on your couch now.

“Ha, yeah, that’s true.” Daniel ruffled his curly hair and made sure Mick was fully on the couch before making his way back towards the door. “He’s gonna be hungover, ya know.”

“Yeah, it’s okay though. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve taken care of him while he’s drunk.” You shrugged your shoulders, grabbing a water and Gatorade from the minibar.

Walking over to where Daniel stood at the doorway, you placed a chaste kiss to his cheek and thanked him for watching out for your friend.

“Will you be okay making it to your room on your own?”

“Yeah, I’m not as blasted as he is. I’ll be right.” Daniel smiled again, giving you a hug and making his way out of the door. He made a mental note to possibly use Mick’s drunken state as ammunition for a good joke later.

You and the Aussie driver exchanged goodbyes and soon enough you were left to take care of Mick. You took a deep breath, and exhaled, making your way over to the couch. You stood in front of the couch and smiled softly.

“Maus, du musst dieses Wasser trinken. (Mouse, you need to drink this water)”

“I like it when you call me that…”

Mick hummed famously, as he tried his best to sit up from his current horizontal position. His hair was tussled and his cheeks still flushed. Doing your best to help him with one arm, you finally got him to sit up and hold the water bottle.

“How much did you have to drink, Mickey?” You watched him carefully to make sure he was actually drinking the water.

“Deutsch…” Mick mumbled into the water bottle that was pressed against his lips.

“That’s not a quantity, Mickey.” You chuckled softly as you continued to look at him drink water.

“No… No… I like it when you speak German… It makes me feel all… Warm inside…” Mick drunkenly pointed to his stomach, his eyelids heavy with intoxication.

“I know you do, but I’m afraid if I speak in German, you’ll respond in a very drunken German stupor, and that I won’t be able to understand you.” You scooted next to him on the couch, resting your head on his shoulder.

“That’s fa-fair…” Mick hiccuped.

Silence again loomed in between you, as he rested his head on yours. You could hear him humming to himself.

“I’m really proud of you, Mickey. You were amazing out there today.”

“I know, I saw the footage, Schätzen.” Mick grinned again, his tone of pure pride and happiness engulfing you. “It was cute when you celebrated for me.”

“I’ll always celebrate for you, Mickey.” You moved your head out from under his and lifted it. “I’m so glad I got to be there to see it in person.”

A soft smile appeared across his face as he sat up and turned to face you. Rubbing his eyes, he took a deep breath and met his baby blues with yours.

“Marry me.”

Suddenly, your face fell and you felt as though the four walls that surrounded you were going to eat you alive. You were no longer maintaining eye contact as you did your best to stop yourself from getting emotional. Your eyes fell down and landed onto your fidgeting hands. “He was drunk, in fact he was very drunk… He doesn’t know what he’s saying,” you kept repeating yourself in your head, looking for a plausible reply while the only other audible thing was Mick’s steady breathing.

“We can’t do that, and you know that.” You finally croaked out, refusing still to make eye contact.

“I love you, though. And you love me. What more is there to it?” Mick moved your chin up with his index finger, the pad of his thumb gentle caressing your chin.

“I can’t marry you, Mick.”

“Can’t or won’t?” You could tell he was trying to ease the tension by wiggling his eyebrows, but you honestly felt as though you had been run over by a semi truck and all the air in your lungs was sucked out of you.

“Mick, I’m serious.”

“Und du glaubst nicht, dass ich es bin? (And you don’t think I am?)”

“I know that you are and that’s what the scary part is!”

You jumped up and off of the couch. You were pacing. It was never a good sign when you’d begin to pace. Glancing at the hotel’s microwave you could see that it was almost three in the morning.

“We have been friends since we were 7 and 8 years old Schätzen, and I have known I have loved you since. Why will you not marry me?” Mick’s voice was tense, his anger becoming apparent.

“You’re drunk, and you’re way too drunk to have this conversation.” You rebutted as quickly as he did.

“Drunk or not, I still love you!”

You were facing away from him now. You could hear him getting up from the couch, and stepping towards you.

Do not cry. You’re not allowed to cry. Crying is for little girls and you are not a little girl.

You continually repeated that in your head as you could hear him approaching you.

“What do I have to do to get you to see that this is real for me? Do I have to get down on one knee? Do I have to give up everything just to show you how serious I am? Because I will! Whatever you say, I will do, and you know that.”

Slowly, you turned around and saw Mick was standing just a few feet away from you. He had tears in the corners of his eyes and his hands were shaking. He was doing his best to calm down as you saw him take a few deep breaths. You didn’t have the wherewithal to deal with this right now, and frankly it was getting too late as well. You were exhausted, you were sure as drunk as he was, he was even more tired than you were. But pleadingly, he stepped slowly towards you, closing the gap. You refused to look up, knowing that if you saw him as he was you would break down. And he knew that. He would never force you to look at him, or do anything you were uncomfortable with doing.

“Smidge… Please, I know that you have been hurt before, by someone you thought would protect you… But I am here now, and have been here. And you know I would protect you with everything I am. Please… Just give me a chance… Give us a chance.”

His voice was cracking as he knelt down in front of you. His arms were around your waist and his head was pressed up against your stomach. Instinctively, you moved your hands to his head took a deep breath. He was just a little boy in this moment, so small and in himself as he gripped onto your shirt with dear life. He knew what it was like firsthand to have someone within arm’s reach, yet never being able to touch them. And yet, you remained stoic and your eyes affixed to the wall behind him. You couldn’t allow yourself to feel the way you wanted to towards him. You made yourself promise that a long time ago.

“I think you should go back to your own room, Mick.” You spoke above barely a whisper as you separated yourself physically from him.

Stepping back, Mick hand landed on the floor as he remained crouched down. You could hear him begin to cry and nothing broke your heart more than that.

“Smidge… Please…” Mick begged as he looked up at you from the floor. You had never seen him look so tiny, so vulnerable.

“I think it would be best if we got some space from each other.”

“W-What?…”

You didn’t respond, but Mick could hear your breath hitch in your chest. You were trying to stifle your upcoming tears. Mick stood to his feet, and ran an anxious hand through his hair.

“I think we should just… Get some space from each other. I won’t be at the next race, but I’ll be at the one after that. We should take this time to just… live our lives, ya know?”

Mick cocked his head to the side while his eyebrows pulled into a tight line. You could see he was clearly clenching his jaw.

“I am sorry, I do not understand. Why the fuck would we need to do that?” Mick was floored as he tried to go through reasons in his own head for a break.

“We’re just… always together, Mick… I think it would be good if we got some… space.” You shrugged your shoulders, trying to play it off as best as you could.

And just like that Mick started… laughing? Maybe it was the alcohol and it was making him delirious, but he genuinely could not believe the words that were coming out of your mouth.

“Give me one good reason, and it better be a damn good FUCKING reason, why we should take space from each other?” Mick wasn’t yelling at you, no he’d never do that, but he was definitely yelling now. “We have been inseparable since age eight, and now you want some space because you cannot admit that you love me too? When has that ever stopped you from being in my life, Schätzen?”

“That’s why! That is exactly why, Mick!” God, now you were yelling. “I… I don’t… I can’t… I can’t love you. Yet, every time I call you, you come. Every time I need something, you’re there! I just… I need to be a big kid and… and… And not rely on you to fix all my problems!”

“But I do those things, because I want to. Can’t you see? Can’t you see how much I want to do those things and how much I would give up just for you to admit that you love me too?”

You couldn’t hold your emotions back any more. Your breath was catching as you began to sob. There was something wrong with you, there had to be - you thought over and over again. He loves you and has loved you since the day you sat next to him at lunch. He was consistently there for you, while he was going through a multitude of his own problems. Why couldn’t you just admit it? Why couldn’t you take the leap and admit that you too loved the boy who has loved you since you were just kids.

“You shouldn’t be with someone that you have to convince to love you back, Mick. You deserve a lot more than that.” You finally replied calmly.

“I do not want anyone else.”

“You deserve it, though.”

There was a painstaking, and deafening quiet that wafted between you two now. It seemed like it was hours that had gone by before one of you had moved from the spots you two were standing.

Mick made his way silently over to you, wiping the tears from his cheeks as he did so. Taking your face in his hands, you looked up at him with an emotion you couldn’t quite place…

“Du hältst mein Herz in deinen Händen (You hold my heart in your hands).” Mick spike barley above a whisper as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“Ich weiß, dass ich es tue (I know I do).” You closed your eyes and hoped that this was just a bad dream.

“Und ich werde eine Ewigkeit warten, um dein Herz in meinen Händen zu halten (And I will wait an eternity to hold your heart in my hands).”

Soon enough, his soft lips met your trembling ones and with the gentlest of movements, he pulled away and kept his eyes closed. You had a feeling he was going to save this moment for a rainy day.

Moments later, he had left you in your hotel room alone, respecting your wishes for space…. for now. And as you stood alone in your hotel room, trying to find the words to describe the night or some semblance of comfort in the emptiness of the room now… All you could hear in the back of your head was the terrifying and gnawing sound of your own self esteem issues. He was right. You were too afraid to admit you loved him. You were too afraid of relationships in general. Mick was one of your first friends when you moved to Germany, and now he was one of your best friends. And you knew you had feelings for him, maybe even loved him. But there was a deep seated problem and the part of you that never allowed you feel vulnerable ever again, would always take over and win.

It was the voice of your father, always nagging at you and reminding yourself that you would never be good enough for anyone. Fuck, you weren’t even good enough for your own father. Emotionally, mentally, and physically he would beat you into submission - into making yourself believe that you were never going to amount to anything or be a good enough person for anyone to love. He reminded you day in and day out that you were just his offspring, and nothing that you could say or do would make him feel differently about you.

So why… Why the fuck would anyone else in the world be different?

Why would anyone want someone who can’t even seem to want themselves? Maybe YOU were the stupid one… God. This was going to be a very long two weeks.

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The next week went by, and you and Mick did your best to keep your distance from each other. Geography certainly helped. And of course, he’d always text you once in the mornings and once at night to make sure you were still alive. It was one of his best qualities… To be able to actually listen and respect your wants. He was mad at the time when you said you wanted space, but he always respected your feelings and validated them through actions and words.

INCOMING CALL: Mickey 🐭

You sighed heavily, as you ignored the call.

You: I’m in a team meeting, can I call you back later?

Mickey 🐭: Sorry! Yes, call back whenever. But I just wanted to tell you that for Silverstone, we will be racing together!

Soon, every ounce of resentment and anger you may have been feeling, disappeared. Your dream had come true. Unfortunately, Lewis was going to be unable to race his home race due to personal matters, and so naturally the job went to you.

You and Mick had always dreamed of getting to Formula One together, and more so, racing together. So in four races, you’ll be the one in the driver’s seat, right next to the boy you’ve grown up with and dreamed about that moment with for your entire childhood.

Maybe this was the universe trying to tell you take a chance, on Mick… On everything. Yet, there was still that nagging feeling of it being too good to true. The fact that you were just a reserve driver, and Hamilton was at the top of his game…. There had to be a catch.

Soon after your meeting, you dialed your best friend and excitedly awaited his response.

“We did it, Smidge! We did it!” Mick’s voice was giddy, and you could tell that he was just as - maybe even more excited than you.

“It’s crazy, Mickey. This is crazy. We’ll get to race together!” You responded, trying to gather your things and head towards the elevator. “Is Lewis okay, though? I’m sure this is a major bummer.”

“He definitely is having a tough time with it, but there are more important matters he needs to tend to. I do not think he would give up a race, let alone his home race if it were not dire.” Mick’s tone was reassuring as he hummed waiting for your response.

You got into the elevator and pressed the ‘Garage’ floor button.

“I guess I should start training then. Hopefully it’s not going to rain.” You joked, waiting for the doors to open to the garage.

“Smidge, it is Great Britain. Of course, it is going to rain.” Mick laughed to himself.

Finally, the doors opened and you made your way to your own vehicle. Getting comfortable and switching to bluetooth, you took a deep breath and grinned. This was everything you could’ve wished for and more.

“Well, if it’s between P1 and P2, make sure you make room for me, Mickey.” You joked.

With one more breath as you started your car, you could practically feel Mick smiling back at you. Maybe he was right. Maybe this was your chance to make a change in your life.

“Just a smidge. You get just a smidge.”

“And that’s all I could ever ask of you.”

[lestappenforever]

Hellooooo it’s your social psychological anon back because I just caught up w the gossip from this week about Ferrari contracts and what not and have some thoughts on this.

We know F1 is -as many TPs out it- super cutthroat and have insane politics going on behind the scenes especially with drivers and contracts. I think Ferrari themselves leaking that they are trying to get Charles to sign was a very bad move especially because the public isn’t reacting how they expected, instead of pressuring Charles to sign which is what they most likely expected to happen, they’re mostly telling him to make a move or laughing at Ferrari who think they can keep Charles with their performance. But more importantly I think that the move was also a breach of Charles’ confidence that has already been shattered after Ferrari gave him a car with an engine that almost exploded (the timing of contract negotiation rumours is even worse now) because instead of Ferrari recognising they screwed up and giving Charles time, now they pulled a dirty move to not only pressure him from within but also try to summon the masses to pressure him from outside (which isn’t working).

We all made a huge deal about Charles liking the “Charles x Verstappen laps” (as we should) but it’s so incredibly sus that to this day that is the only thing he has liked post-Brazil. I really don’t know if it is a calculated PR move, foreshadowing a move to red bull, intended to put pressure on Ferrari in return or he just thought it was cool and “hey look it is me and Max and we are so cool”. I don’t think it matters because it is still indicative of his lack of engagement with Ferrari and- in my opinion- an increasing disillusionment with the team.

I generally have an issue with most, if not all, Charles-rbr interactions being framed as Charles putting pressure on Ferrari. Because it makes it extremely difficult to understand the general change in Charles-rbr dynamics because not once has it been Charles initiating contact with the red bull members (not drivers)- it has so far been them congratulating him, giving him soft pats and handshakes, the continuous “Charles” on the radio even from GP (who actually sounded so sad for Charles and also saying “Charles stopped” instead of “charles (Leclerc) crashed/is in the wall” is also v specific because at that point for them it must have looked like charles lost control and it had nothing to do with engine or hydraulics but I digress it’s just an interesting thing to consider) which leads to the logical conclusion that Christian has summoned the rbr team to try to convince Charles by acting super friendly, or the team knows of ongoing negotiations and are de facto bringing charles into the team by acting as if he is an honorary member because as we have said previously this isn’t standard behaviour other teams don’t just congratulate drivers from another team and this has never happened before even with charles and red bull so something obviously changed and it’s coming from the rbr side of the garage.

Also brief mention of Daniel and Charles leaving the same restaurant? Because if anyone can convince Charles that rbr is the place to be not from a data and championship winning capacity (that is self-evident especially with rbr looking like they will dominate till 2026 and also nail the 2026 qualifications unlike Ferrari) but from a team pov it will absolutely be him. He is the one who left rbr and was miserable before rbr took him back and he felt as if he was coming home. If it was actually a case of rbr sending him or if they just had dinner the topic defo came up and but the timing seems to me to be more of a strategic choice than a coincidental meeting.

Going back to online behaviour- thus far no comment or like or repost of the Ferrari livery or Las Vegas special suit announcements (unlike Carlos), just no mention of Ferrari since Brazil except the one post. At the same time someone pointed out that charles stopped doing race highlights after Suzuka on IG and because all Ferrari and other drivers do these I think that it might be a clause in the contract related to PR duties and their online presence. The fact that charles hasn’t done them even when he has had a good race is even more suspicious considering everything with rbr started- or became more intense- after Japan.

Anyway, lots to unpack here defo lots of moving parts and it seems like Charles and Ferrari relationship looks like it will be getting bitter and I am willing to bet that the DTS episode where Christian is dissing Ferrari for potentially endangering their drivers is already in the making- it would be a huge PR move to criticise this publicly at the next press con but this may come across to Charles as also putting pressure on him and I think it’s obvious that rbr is taking a coaxing approach where they know it is only a matter of time before Ferrari will shove Charles into their arms, all they have to do is show him that they are welcoming.

Anyway, can’t wait to see all the drama that will defo go down next week but for now thank god we don’t have a race weekend because it would probably be a bit too much for us. So happy non- race weekend 🫶✨

Oh, social-psychological anon, how I have missed you. Welcome back! ❤️

Once again, you’re bringing such an interesting and wonderful take on the current situation with Charles/Ferrari/Red Bull. And I must say I agree with everything you’re mentioning, but one thing I feel like I want to add a bit more to is the mention of the perspective that the increased amount of Charles/RBR interaction is nothing but a ploy for Charles to secure himself a more lucrative deal with Ferrari.

You and I are in the same boat here, and my personal opinion on why Charles using his interactions with Red Bull to secure a better deal for himself doesn’t make sense is because:

1. His actions don’t align with the narrative (the lack of posting/interacting with Ferrari content recently, the entire vibe of Charles' relationship with his beloved team just seeming off).

2. I don’t think he needs to. Scuderia Ferrari is a historic team, and it’s not exactly a secret that appearances mean everything. So if Charles truly just wanted a better deal, better terms, more money, all he would have to do is go to his team and say: "These are my demands. If you don’t meet them, I will leave." That contract would have been drawn up in a matter of hours.

3. Red Bull Racing is a huge institution that would never play along with something like that. If there was any belief whatsoever internally at Red Bull that Charles was using them to try and secure a better deal for himself at Ferrari, they would shut that shit down immediately. But they haven’t. They are, as you said, treating Charles as if he is an honorary member of the team, and there is no way in hell they would do that if it wasn’t for their own gain. Now, whether that gain is getting Charles to come to Red Bull, or if it’s because they know what an excellent marketing strategy it is, I have no idea. Only time will tell.

Charles is incredibly smart, and so fucking well trained in terms of PR and how to present himself to the world at large. He's calculated, and the way I see it, his recent change in behavior, on the grid, off the grid and on social media, seems more of a sign that he is reaching (or has reached) his limit with Ferrari, and even though it probably breaks his fucking heart to face it, Ferrari isn’t the team who can give him a World Championship. And no amount of deep-rooted love and loyalty is going to change that, no matter how badly he might want it too.

At the end of the day, all we can do is speculate (and anon, I fucking love speculating and your amazing insights), but you are absolutely right. Something has shifted in Charles, in his relationship with Ferrari, and in his relationship with Red Bull, and I cannot wait to see where that leads.

Social-psychological anon, I love you so much. Please stay with me forever. ❤️

[thesims4blogger]

“Urban Homage” and “Party Essentials” Kits Announced

After a small leak yesterday, The Sims 4 officially announced its next two kits: Urban Homage and Party Essentials.

The first one comes in collaboration with @Ebonix, and is said to bring inspiration on 90s and 2000s fashion from London, UK. The other one, as its name suggests, focuses on party decoration, including a disco ball and a fog machine.

Both kits are coming out next Thursday, April 18th, so we can expect a patch on the 16th. Read the full blog announcement below.

On Point Looks and New Party Vibes

The Sims 4 Urban Homage and Party Essentials Kits Are Coming to The Sims 4

The party is just getting started! Step onto the scene in the trendiest threads and set the stage for unforgettable celebrations this season in The Sims 4.

With The Sims 4 Urban Homage and Party Essentials Kits, players can style their Sims in Simmer and gaming content creator, Ebonix’s favorite London city-inspired fashion and deck out party venues with festive decor for electrifying celebrations that will get Sims buzzing.

90s Vibes and Vibrant Motifs

Dress to impress with The Sims 4 Urban Homage Kit, created in collaboration with multi-award-winning gaming content creator and DE&I advocate, Danielle “Ebonix” Udogaranya.

Turn heads and make your Sim stand out as the ultimate virtual style icon with looks that offer a fresh take on nostalgic London city-inspired 90s and Noughties (a UK expression for the years between 2000 to 2009) fashion trends, with lively patterns, vibrant graffiti motifs and eye-catching accessories. These modern looks are bold and unapologetic, inspired by a time and place near and dear to Ebonix.

With striking ensembles and statement pieces such as iconic overalls, butterfly tops, eye-catching layered jewelry and glamorous new nails, Sims can confidently strut in style and express their individuality in more ways than ever before. Advertisement

“When I came up with Urban Homage, the pitch [to Maxis] was paying homage to the 80s, 90s, and 00s,” says Ebonix. “[The Kit] is inspired by the urban chic culture which highlights the innovation, diversity and vibrancy that city life fosters which I very much embrace as part of my day to day wears. So with that said, I wanted to bring to life some timeless pieces that tap into eras that we draw inspiration from and are still the blueprint of fashion innovation to this day, with a variety of outfits that are dynamic and vibrant, traditional and contemporary, and rich with cultural trends!

Fun fact: The numbers on the basketball shorts are actually the birthdays of Ebonix’s mom (24), dad (18), best friend (16), goddaughter (14) and her own (10)! She felt this would be such a beautiful, personal touch to commemorate and pay homage to the people who mean the absolute world to me.”

Celebrate with Flair

Amp up your festivities and make your epic parties unforgettable with The Sims 4 Party Essentials Kit!

Whether your Sim is hosting a lavish Landgraab luncheon or a raving rager for the Roomies, The Sims 4 Party Essentials Kit has everything you need to make your next celebration the talk of the town. Advertisement

Dazzle and delight with playful party props, including eye-catching streamers, an entrancing fog machine and a versatile bar that can stick around after the party. Add some drama to everyday decor with lively and unique new items like a mesmerizing disco ball. Set the perfect vibe with coordinated party decorations or mix and match to set the mood and make memorable Simstagram posts pop.

Form your group and let the good times roll in style. Shpansa!

The Sims 4 Urban Homage and Party Essentials Kits will be available on April 18, 2024 on PC via EA app™, Mac® via Origin, Epic Games Store and Steam®, PlayStation®5, PlayStation®4, Xbox Series X|S and Xbox One systems.

The Sims 4 Urban Homage and Party Essentials Kits require The Sims 4 base game, available free to download with all game updates. See minimum system requirements for the pack.

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

Thoughts on Merrily We Roll Along

In short: it's so fucking funny that it's advertised as this wholesome show about friendship when it's actually an incredibly bleak show about the erosion of friend groups lmaooo

Longer thoughts:

Lindsay Mendez wasn't playing Mary Flynn when I saw it--instead it was Jamila Sabares-Klemm. She was absolutely fantastic. I'm really glad she got time to shine on stage, because I thought she had a wonderful voice and was a top-notch actress. She was believable with the intense emotions, and she was incredibly funny. She should get a leading role on Broadway

Jonathon Groff and Daniel Radcliffe were also incredible. Once again, able to deliver the comedy and tragedy in the show with equal measure. Radcliffe was great as a sort of nervous Charley (he really nailed it with "Franklin Shephard, Inc."), and Frank is a really unlikable character in the beginning, so I think it speaks to Groff's performance that you want to stick with him and see how he got to that point

I love the storytelling device of telling the plot in reverse, because it makes the entire show sad without a constant barrage of explicitly sad songs; because we already know this story has an unhappy ending, the songs that are happy on a literal level are actually really bittersweet. It's a great way to tell a sad story without the whole show being a bummer, in one sense, but in another sense, I think seeing the super happy, hopeful scene at the end made the finale of the show much sadder than if the musical had ended with the scene that's actually at the end of the timeline, with Frank's life completely down the toilet, Mary as a dysfunctional alcoholic, and Charley having been cut off and out of the picture. I don't even consider this to be a spoiler, since this is literally the first scene of the musical lol

Relatedly, I liked how the musical reprises were in reverse. Sondheim talked about taking the same music and having it mean different things to characters at different points in their lives, and that's done really well in this show

Spoiler, I guess? But I love that Mary never told Frank how she felt. You're expecting some kind of emotional confession, and it never happens. That feels realistic. I also love that Mary never resented Beth, who was Frank's first love, and tried to look out for her when Gussie started to go after Frank.

The set was great, as was the book/dialogue written by George Furth that connected the songs. I think that this show could be hard to follow with weaker dialogue and songwriting, and I can kiiind of see why a rougher version of the show would fail (though I don't think the original version deserved to close so soon in '81). But as the show exists now, I was able to follow everything fine without having known much about it before walking into the theater

So yeah, I really enjoyed it. I thought these were well-written characters whose story was told in an interesting, unconventional way, and I think the execution was successful. Everyone in the cast was great, and I had a great time

[cetaitlaverite]

I feel like chapter 40 has brought out a sort of childlike selfishness that Freddie is wholly unaware she has, and others walk on eggshells to avoid. She fully expects everyone around her to be willing to uproot their entire lives simply because she wants them to. And it's easy to see how she became like that. The war hit when she was a teenager and Daniel died not too long after. I think all that trauma stunted her development in a way she isn't aware of at all. She's 25 now, but there's no doubt that a part of her is still 20. She also grew up an only child, so she never really had to learn to ‘share’ in a way that others do. None of those things are her fault, but it is her responsibility to work on altering these behaviors, which is hard when she doesn't see why its a problem.

This all becomes more obvious than ever in Chapter 40. She just assumes Jem will move to New York. And when Jem immediately dismisses this, she's almost offended. She can't quite fathom that she has a life beyond their Thorpe Abbots bubble, and that as much as she might love her, she is still simply just one person in her life. Freddie assumed that she and Millie were enough of a reason to move across the ocean, she didn't even stop to consider that Jem has a parter and a family right there in England.

With her parents its more obvious, but its still the same pattern. As an only child, its easy to forget that her parents are not just her parents. They are independent people, with lives that encompass more than just use. When her mom asserts that their life is in Oxford, Freddie instantly accuses her of never wanting to see her again or meet her (hypothetical) grandchildren. Its not a good look on her, and despite how much we empathize with her, its time for Freddie to acknowledge and deal with how she uses this to hurt people.

you are absolutely right on every count!! it has a lot to do with her separation anxiety, which started when she lost daniel and only got worse when she thought rosie was dead. she can’t stand the idea of being far away from the people she loves.

she’s also very spoilt - she’s an only child and both daniel and rosie dote/d on her and rarely ever told/tell her no, so she’s not accustomed to not getting her way. it’s a rude awakening when all of a sudden people tell her no left, right, and centre about moving to new york!!

learning to be okay on her own, as it were, will be a big part of her post-war life (most of it off-page, unfortunately). she’s a woman now but she still has a lot of growing up to do and she can’t do that when she’s still clinging to her parents and her friends.

but yes, you absolutely hit the nail on the head with all of this!!! her selfishness is maybe her biggest flaw and she can’t really even see it in herself. she doesn’t realise how big the things she asks of those she loves are. and, you’re right, she tries to guilt them into doing what she wants when they tell her no; she’s acknowledged before that she has an instinct to hurt people worse when they hurt her and she absolutely does that when she doesn’t get her way.

no one’s perfect, after all!! i love freddie deeply but she’s got her flaws!!

[fuckyeah-jessicabiel]

Jessica Biel for Details Magazine, September 2002

JENNY GAGE AND TOM BETTERTON : When shooting all-American beauty Jessica Biel (page 256), husband-and- wife team Tom Betterton and Jenny Gage wanted to keep things real. "At this point in her career, it seems like everyone wants to sex her up," says Betterton. "But her beauty is very nat- ural." The couple has shot for W, among other magazines, and has a video instal- lation opening at the Luhring Augustine Gallery in New York this month.

"If you don't sign my ass, I'm gonna have to do fifteen shots of Jack Daniel's." Rarely in the course of a lifetime does an individual get a clear opportunity to directly affect the destiny of a complete stranger. For Jessica Biel, the chance to prevent a tragic death—or at least a long, ugly night of toilet hugging-came at 4 A.M. during pledge week of her freshman year at Tufts University.

Emboldened by copious amounts of liquor (and no doubt a few keg stands), a staggering pack of frat boys descended on Biel's dorm room with a mission- to get her to scrawl her name on a pledge's butt. Despite the obscene hour, Biel shook off her initial shock and took Sharpie in hand.

"The poor guy just drops trou and bends over right in front of me," Biel says, trying her best not to blush. "So I reached out and scribbled some illegible thing, and then they took off. You know, I hope they were serious, because I felt really bad. Fifteen shots of Jack? That could kill somebody."

While it's possible that her squeaky-clean work on the WB dramedy 7th Heaven brought her to the attention of Tufts' homy mob of chronic masturbators, more likely it was her ill-fated brush with kiddie-porn infamy when she was 17. Biel sus- pected that her Heaven-sent image had kept her from landing the meaty role in American Beauty that went to Thora Birch. So, at a magazine shoot, she had Frank W. Ockenfels 3 take pictures of her sprawled out in nothing but high heels and a thong. As if the photos weren't saucy enough, the article painted her as a foul- mouthed Lolita trying to bait Aaron Spelling into booting her off the show so she could pursue a proper big-screen career.

Part One of the equation worked like a charm: Soon after the story hit news- stands in March 2000, her character was packed off to do some soul-searching, and returns in just a handful of episodes. But the movie-star part? Well, let's

just say that the resounding thud of her first post-pinup role-Summer Catch- made her realize that there are worse fates than an eternity in Heaven.

"Yes, the pictures were supposed to be a little more mature and sexy than what I'd done before, but it went further than what I expected or wanted it to, she says. "Looking back, I would've made a different choice. I learned a shitload from the experience and grew a lot—but I wouldn't do it again.”

The year at Tufts helped bring her back to earth; tiny Medford, Massachu setts, was the perfect place to plot her next move. "I was pretty depressed, but most of all I was angry that I put myself in that situation," she says. "I never wanted to get off 7th Heaven. I just wanted to go to college."

She'll return to Tufts this fall, but not before giving the movies another shot In October she'll star alongside James Van Der Beek, Shannyn Sossamon, and Kip Pardue in The Rules of Attraction. Based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel, it'sa satiric look at a sexual triangle among friends at a New England liberal-arts col lege. Biel passed on a nude scene, but still manages to play against type-jus like she's always wanted.

"What's most impressive about Jess is that she's really brave when the camera rolls," says Van Der Beek. "There was this one scene where she had to break down and cry, and she nailed it on the first take. She absolutely grabbed the scene by the balls. The girl knows her shit."

Biel admits that returning to the cineplex after her public comeuppance is bit nerve-racking, but she's ready to put the controversy behind her. "You do crazy things when you're 17, and I've changed a lot since then," the 20-year-old says with a smile. "I'm finally ready to show people that there is very different side of me."

The woman in Bungalow 27 at the Topanga Ranch Motel is getting nervous. So is the dandered militia of meowing cats pouring from every loose shingle of her beachfront cottage. She emerges from behind her rusting screen door, kitty tucked under one arm, and steps over an assortment of food-encrusted dishes to size up Biel.

"This isn't a party, is it?" she demands.

Biel names the approaching stranger Cat Woman under her breath, then charms her into submission. "Yes, ma'am," she says, managing to sound more sweet than smarmy. "The frat boys are on their way." Curiosity quenched, the Cat Woman herds her feline conga line back into the house and retreats.

Looking like a SoCal queen with her low-slung jeans and flip-flops, Biel has and arrived at this Pacific-coast hideaway to step in front of a photographer's lens once again. This time around, she'll prove she can turn it on without taking it off. After she wraps up here, she'll hop a plane for Austin to begin filming the just remake of seventies trash classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. A horror junkie,

Biel snagged the role by auditioning for producer Michael Bay himself, and she's obviously ecstatic about reimagining Leatherface's sordid tale.

She coils up on the bed of the cramped motel room and rocks back and forth as she excitedly describes one of the scenes.

"I jump out a window and gash my knee, but I'm still running," she explains, eyes wide. "I'm in these semi-stiletto clogs and I trip and twist my ankle. So now I'm bleeding and I've got a busted ankle. But I'm not the typical horror-movie wuss girl-not at all. I get right back up on my feet and keep on running." Falling down and getting back up again? It's something Biel has become pretty damn good at. Leatherface had better watch out.■

[sakebytheriver]

Just saw Barbie and it was exactly what I expected, a fun way to kill a couple hours with a good friend dressing up and getting pink food before watching a fairly enjoyable movie I'll probably never watch again

The cast was great as I expected, the big stand outs for me were definitely America Ferrera, she delivers a speech that a lesser actress could have butchered and made incredibly cringe, but she nailed it perfectly for the movie she was in and also Ryan Gosling, he was incredibly genuine in everything he did, he's a very genuine actor in general, you look into his eyes and you believe him everytime

Yes, I understand why Simu's agent staked their whole career on this role

The feminist messaging was very surface level and extremely broad and in no way encapsulates the entirety of intersectional feminism or literally anything past the idea of "women can do anything men can do" and there was also an insanely cringey part where the teenager dresses Barbie down with a whole bad stereotypical gen Z rant about consumer capitalism that really reminds you this movie is being made by a conglomerate of giant corporations and the "Mattel" company in the movie is just .... bad. Absolutely ruins the entire movie. Will Ferrell tried his best, but there was absolutely no way to salavage a single one of those "Mattel" executive parts, so sorry, not even Daniel Day Louis himself coming out of retirement could have sold those roles, they were absolutely awful, Disney channel level of villainry and writing was put into those guys

I have one last thought about a scene I would have done differently, but it's super spoilery so I'm gonna put it under a read more and say my conclusion here,

It was a fun excuse to get dressed up like a Barbie doll and spend the day with my friend, I went in with super low expectations in the hopes that they'd be beaten and they were, it was better than I thought, but also about what I expected. Your uncle buck will complain about the overhanded feminist messaging, but not the way I do! And if you get high like me you might even cry when you think the dad is dead until it's revealed he's actually just off somewhere sucking at Spanish.

All in all Barbie was a fun movie with absolutely nothing under the surface which I will never watch again 💕🫡

Okay, so for all you bitches who've seen the movie or don't care about spoilers, there is a moment where Barbie has to decide whether she wants to be human or not and a montage of a bunch of home family videos starts playing on the screen in a dreamy haze

This moment was at the very end of the movie and it was also The Best Part. Period. Habds down. End of sentence.

And they didn't even execute it right

The montage moves much too slow and it ends way too fast, it should have been the other way around, make it twice as long and twice as fast, have it start of slow and then ramp up more and more and more getting faster and flashier and the music swells and it's huge and big and there's videos of kids at playgrounds intercut with people at funerals and people watching loved ones dying then cut to a wedding and then to a kids first day of school. This montage should have been absolutely jam packed with stuff and it should have been hitting the audience way faster until the end when it hits the cresendo and we cut back to Barbie and the air feels like it gets physically ripped out of her chest violently as she says, "Yes."

In the movie the montage lasts about as long as it took me to think, "oh this is the best scene in the movie" and there's absolutely no moments of sadness in it, like no one at a hospital, no one getting sick, no one grieving, the whole movie is about learning to love the good with the bad and then this montage just shows you kids being goofy and people at bowling alleys, like where is the fucking heart? And then it ends and we cut back to Margot Robbie very delicately saying, "yes"

And that was it

We move on to seeing Barbie in the human world with her human family and this big climacitic moment that should feel the way you feel when symbols crash in a classical song just fizzles

The last scene of the entire movie however I will say was a great way to cap a live action Barbie movie, Margot Robbie's giant grin as she says, "I'm here to see my

Gynecologist!"

Was good.

Okay the end I'm done thanks for reading 💕

[rainbowcarousels]

No need to apologize, a sudden essay was truly all I ever wanted 🥹 it does align quite perfectly doesn’t it? I mean sometimes it’s all about “reading between the lines” as Lestat once said, specially when it comes to characters who are not Lestat himself/the people closest to him at any given time or POV characters, and this is one of those instances where we’re given just enough to do that imo, it’s all there in the timelines like you said. “It just won't change the fact that he had a second chance to do it right this time with Daniel where he had failed before, to not be a blunt object seeking practical solutions and prove he can in fact take care of people without destroying them”, god this is so true, and I think it also ties back to him being a “failed experiment” in his maker’s eyes, and how he’d been conditioned in his mind (by fate, by circumstance) to repeat that pattern. Armand’s sense of identity in regards to who he is to Daniel is a huge thing too and I’ve always HC that at some point during their difficult years and then in their years apart, he probably rationalized it as him only being fit to be his lover but not his teacher in the blood (which of course represented yet another unforgivable failure).

“He's trying so hard in the modern age to make caregiver be a huge part of him and to be seen as someone who keeps his children safe and even if Daniel was safe at the time, I can't help but think it would bother him that his own firstborn had to be cared for by someone else and that maybe Lestat would be the only person he would really admit this to because he would be the one to understand it.” Yes! Reminds me of that great post by @monstersinthecosmos I think(!) that had me nodding along from start to finish where they mentioned (and I’m only paraphrasing lmao) how Trinity Gate, despite having being conceived as a safe place where people could all heal and come together as a family, also ends up being a place where Armand has to live up to a lot of expectations (the caretaker, the teacher, the protector), like he had to in the cult, and then the theater. And not only that but it would also serve as a constant reminder of how when it had mattered the most, with his own fledging, he was not able to do it. Lestat would totally understand Armand and never judge him for it, he’s “failed” in similar ways before and plays a similar role to Armand’s in the present (the only difference I think is the scale, Lestat has made more fledglings than one can count and Armand only has Daniel to dump all of his trauma on, bless) xoxo DA still sad asf but your meta is like chicken soup for the soul ❤️‍🩹

Absolutely all of this!! Lestat is not omnicient, even if sometimes it feels like he is and you have to remember you're a person removed from his stories.

Oooh yeah actually that is an excellent point, it makes it a little bit worse that it's Marius that takes care of Daniel and the whole idea of maybe Daniel would be considered a failed fledgling from Armand adds to the idea of him being a failed experiment himself. It's a generational trauma thing too, I think this is something Daniel is terrified of being seen as something Armand regrets and sees as a failure, but Armand trying to figure out who he is to people is such a big pattern in all of his identites and part of it definitely feels like it stems from feeling like he can't measure up to his previous self in the eyes of his own maker. Like he couldn't even get something that any back alley vampire made on a whim can do properly, that is a spiral waiting to happen even if it's not true.

Absolutely 100% agree that Armand could rationalise it that way, he does tend to seperate his identities and roles as a coping mechanism but I also think it's just another nail in the coffin of feeling like this is his failure. It would have been compounded by living with the day to day of Daniel when he was at his worst and probably wound have caused a knock on spiral which wouldn't have been fair to either of them, but it doesn't make it easier.

Trinity Gate, despite having being conceived as a safe place where people could all heal and come together as a family, also ends up being a place where Armand has to live up to a lot of expectations (the caretaker, the teacher, the protector), like he had to in the cult, and then the theater. And not only that but it would also serve as a constant reminder of how when it had mattered the most, with his own fledging, he was not able to do it.

This just punches me in the gut every time. I hadn't really thought about it in this context but you're right, the scale of it with Lestat and Armand being seen as community leaders in their own right really does echo each other and puts so much pressure on both of them to be more than themselves. They are roles and figureheads but that doesn't leave them with much space to explore their own traumas and identities in detail. Even in their own homes, it's not really about them.

Someone really needs to make a therapist for these folks, they really need to learn some ways to process what they're going through that isn't running away (Lestat) or trying to wear his reputation like armour to protect not only himself but his children (Armand). I think if you sat down and really interrogated why Armand feels the need to protect his own people so intensely, he's been losing them since he was a child and losing himself over and over at the same time and it's why I think it would bother him to have someone else do that for his child. It's become a part of how he sees himself so it shakes his very sense of identity and it wouldbe a fascinating thing to explore one day.

Thank you for soming in and letting me think about this stuff, I appreciate getting the chance to really look at it in detail!

[phoomwhoosh]

#Let Me Get That For You

Your latest chapter… My gosh I love that Mr. Miyagi is stepping in and much quicker this time…. Smart move on Terry’s part to have him escorted out because

1. Ha Ha! He’s afraid of the Keebler Elf!… and he should be.

2. This has all the feels of a Father confronting the unwanted suitor and he absolutely cannot handle Mr. Miyagi in Father mode.

Kick his ass again Mr. Miyagi!!!

And I love that romantic shit goes right over Daniel’s head.

The one thing I’ve always wanted to see in your fics is Terry’s POV. What is going on inside this madman’s head that he thinks Daniel would be so willing to forgive him and give a relationship a try?

I think Terry wants him willing, but knows he’ll never have that (yet at the same time is unable to face that), so he settles for Daniel’s fear. As much as he gets off on hurting him, he ultimately wants him willing.

Somewhere in all this he blames Daniel for his feelings and wants to punish him for it. Which is why ends up hurting him.

One stalker in a movie told his victim “if you won’t love me, then you’ll fear me.”

I feel like that’s Terry’s mentality in most of your fics.

Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the fic so much! I'm putting my responses under a cut for length:

Mr. Miyagi doesn't want Daniel to have to deal with Terry's antics anymore. He really is going into Father Mode and it kills him that he can't legally do anything yet. (I don't think Miyagi's willing to do prison time......yet. XD)

Daniel being oblivious to anyone's feelings is honestly fun and a little sad to write. Like, he can love with all of his heart but does not often expect that from others.

Writing Terry's POV is something that I've been tempted to do in the past.....maybe one day hehehe

But you definitely hit the nail on the head with this Terry! He really does want Daniel to be willing but, since he isn't, he starts going for the fear factor. After all, Danny boy does look so pretty when he's frightened. But then he sees that somebody else has hurt Daniel and the urge to see him afraid is replaced by anger that he's been hurt by another person.

I've always believed that a part of Terry really liked Daniel (romantically or platonically, whichever is your flavor) but his loyalty to Kreese was unshakable so he stuck with the plan to betray Daniel. However, once that loyalty is shaken...

Also, apologies for taking so long to answer this one. I've had it in my drafts and just haven't had time to respond properly until now.

[mediocre-eternity]

Hello. Today is 30 December 2022

I didn’t realize my holiday preoccupations and rebuilding of our Island would take me so far away from writing but I do appreciate the interest in my life and my various wisdoms.

To hold such adoring fans over, I figure I’d fill you in on some conversations I’ve had as of late.

Daniel and I hadn’t realized the “Devil’s Minion” chapter of Queen of the Damned was as popular with fringe audiences as we expected. Daniel, in fact, had no plans on becoming as much of a character as Lestat and in fact, uses pseudonyms for most of his literature. We had a good time looking through your various posts and speculations about us. Honestly, we aren’t as much of a whirlwind of succulent romantic horror as Lestat and Louis. We’re more like two rats kissing in front of an inferno at the dump. Regardless, we thought it would hilarious to fill you in with tidbits about us two.

Although we can see the appeal of assigning “The Only Time” by Nine Inch Nails as “our” song, “We’re In This Together” is much more accurate to how we operate. We’re shocked and delighted, however, that a lot of readers could pick up on our 20th century musical fixations. And seeing Trent Reznor aged about thirty years since we discovered him sort of…propelled Daniel into the present time period. Well, thank you Mister Trent Reznor for in part helping a small immortal’s fledgeling regain some of his mental acuities. At least you haven’t died yet.

We are also absolutely astounded that readers picked up on what the final “nail in the coffin” (as he likes to say) was for Daniel’s poor mortal body. But that’s all he’ll let me get into.

Daniel started calling me “boss” as a joke about four years after we met. Since then, the nickname has spilled over into our larger coven. Benji uses “boss” for me as well and Jesse, occasionally. Lestat keeps me in his phone as “chef” after laughing so hard at the explanation for it I thought he’d started seizing. Still, my pet name remains one of my favorite things in the world.

Daniel did, in fact, call me an “immortal idiot” for asking him to show me how to use the phone. Speaking of, Daniel’s portion of Queen of the Damned was entirely volunteered by Daniel to Lestat; no psychic tricks necessary. Because of this, we all ended up with a much more comical rendition of our relationship. I believe if Lestat had stolen from my mind (or just asked me) readers would have understood a much different perspective. But in this reality, I’m famed for blenders. Merci, mon amie.

Daniel wants everyone to know that he hasn’t stopped smoking. It’s part of his “vampire aesthetic,” as he likes to call it.

Daniel is not monolingual. He picked up some Italian in our time together while he was still mortal and perfected the language further from his decade with my maker. Teaching him French is another task as me and Lestat speak two different dialects of French and Daniel has trouble floating between the two. It’s hilarious how Daniel has become somewhat of a case study for American lacking in linguistics.

We love looking at fan art of us two, especially one’s highlighting my eccentricities. I believe more people need to understand how self aware I am of how I speak and move my body, and what I ultimately decide to do. So it’s extra silly when fans try to guess how I might present myself. I did see a small comic strip of my desires to be ultra-close to Daniel. I’ll admit that I have sat on his lap when other seats were perfectly available.

That’s all I can think up for now, plus I shouldn’t divulge too much all at once. If I were to, perhaps you’d be more keen on picking myself and Daniel out from the Times Square crowd tomorrow night. In case you felt bored, anyway.