#dark fiction gave me an outlet

[alexinity]

Hi there,

I’m sorry you’ve gotten so many anons that are downright hateful. You can disagree with someone without telling them to kill themself, and I wish these anons would actually try to engage with you in a meaningful way rather than just threatening you. That’s why I’m writing this ask. I was hoping to explain some of the nuances of dark content in a way that isn’t pure defensiveness. It’s okay if this doesn’t change your mind, I just wanted to try and actually explain helpfully.

Firstly, I understand why you’re upset about the post. Incest is extremely taboo and morally reprehensible in reality. (And I agree with you it’s not my cup of tea in fiction either.) However, on sites like tumblr and ao3 it’s very much up to the reader to avoid things they don’t want to see. Yes, tag filtering exists and many of us use it, but some things still slip through the cracks. Even if this post wasn’t filtered for you, it was still marked as mature by tumblr and the top of the post itself contains all the relevant warnings. If you didn’t want to see the content, all you had to do was block and scroll away.

Second, in fiction communities, it is absolutely inappropriate to pathologize people’s fantasies and tell them that their content should not exist. Studies have shown time and time again that fantasies do not correlate with real life intentions to commit taboo or illegal acts such as incest. In fact, modern psychiatry believes that engaging with fanfic (and other safe sane consensual ways of engaging with dark fantasies) is a helpful outlet for people. Adults are capable of separating fiction from reality. To pretend otherwise is to buy into purity culture rhetoric.

On the topic of purity culture, policing fandom content in any way is absolutely a Trojan horse for purity culture. Just look at what happened to ff.net. First it will be dark content, then it will be any nsfw content is unacceptable, then it will be queer content, and so on and so forth. The thing about claiming the moral high ground is that morals are subjective and the goalposts will always be moved. You may think I’m exaggerating by saying that objecting to fictional incest and other dark content leads to the exclusion of marginalized folks, censorship, and the destruction of fanfic communities but it absolutely does and it has already happened.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far (if you have) and again I’m not sending this out of malice so I really hope it doesn’t come across as a personal attack. But at the end of the day, (as much as I understand having a visceral reaction to dark content) this one is kind of on you. Tumblr has dark content, this is common knowledge. A post gave appropriate warnings. And you purposely engaged with a post you knew you wouldn’t like. Being into dark fantasies with fictional characters is not an offense worthy of a callout post. Next time please just block and scroll. Other people should be able to create the content they like without being shamed and harassed. Not everything has to be for you.

hi,

i understand your point, thank you for being respectful, i got tired of people just jumping on me, thinking they will do something by calling me names and telling me to off myself.

Thats one of the reasons i wont be saying anything about content like that anymore, the other is that no matter what me and other people said as a response we got insults and not being taken seriously.

Of course i dont think only my opinion is right, i respect other peoples opinions but i also expect a normal response. Instead i was called thin-skinned and told to suck it up. Immature response in my opinion.

i will also add that not all people separate fiction from reality and a lot of them are adults.

i dont wanna deal with all of that anymore its pointless

Again thank you for being respectful and kind, some of the asks i received were pretty mean lol

[hardcore-lonewolf]

💋Bad Girls💋: A Teen Titans & Young Justice Cross-Over Fan-Fiction One-Shot (TUMBLR)

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PLOT: This group of eight chicks are getting ready for their slumber party and got some lingerie for themselves rather than their boyfriends. A band of eight dudes are curious about their girlfriends and their tea time, so these men dug into some private plans to find their women's juicy kinks and uncover some hidden secrets. In order to do that, these gents must follow and spy on their ladies throughout their overnight weekends at Paradise City, where the saints and sinners come to play mind games for fun. These guys got an undercover mission to get answers and interrogate their lovers on some certain questions that never asked during their relationships (marriages and engagements). These divas find out and are now crossing the next evil deeds that popped into their minds...some dirty things and some crazy habits in that gave them some vintage bad bitch vibes. Let's find out what these heroines got in store for these heroes and how they'll react.

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⚠WARNING⚠: THIS IS SET IN THE FUTURE LIKE "BEN 10K" TIMES, I CHOSE TO PUT EVA NELSON (FUTURE GWEN) AND RACHEL ROTH UP FOR THAT REASON. THE TEAM AND THE TITANS ARE NOW ADULTS, WHICH DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY STOPPED BEING FRIENDS AND ALLIES...THEY'RE CLOSER THAN THAT. THIS CONTAINS MOSTLY MENTIONS OF ROUGH SMUT THAT'LL BE VERY IMPLIED OR THE REAL DEAL, A BIT DARK ANGST CAUSE THESE STRONG MEN ARE VERY OVERPROTECTIVE WITH THEIR TOUGH WOMEN, SOME HARD CRACK THAT WILL HURT ME TO DEATH BY LAUGHTER, AND A FEW SOFT FLUFF MOMENTS THAT ARE LOVING AND CARING WHEN THESE BOYS GET COMFORTED BY THESE GIRLS. IT MAKES ME NOT REGRETTING ANY WAY POSSIBLE WITH MY WORDS AND STUFF.

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"The men are stuck on a weekend mission overnight at Las Vegas, which leaves us by ourselves and drinking wine coolers on a cruise ship from LA to Tokyo. We can stay in this fucking tower and be bored as hell, or we'll do my list of things that'll make Kaldur swimming back home faster than Wally speeding throughout Mexico for nachos." Wonder Woman II (OFC: Ophelia Trevor) said while setting her bottle down and grabbing her list. "Here's the things women would do to look hot and sexy for their men. We're doing this and I don't give a damn...we need fresh air for gods' sake."

Black Cat (OFC: Eva Nelson), Tigress, Miss Martian, Zatanna, Rocket, Fire Goddess II (Starfire), and White Raven stared at the list and read it to themselves. They froze with reddened cheeks and their face formed into sly looks with mad grins on their faces. Wonder Woman put the list down and gave them an evil smirk in response to theirs.

Karaoke bars, night clubs, pole dances, music studios, fashion shows, spa resorts, hair salons, poker games, vintage cars, hotel rooms, flower gardens, jewelry stores, casino houses, beauty markets, beach parties, island pools, hot tubs, tattoo parlors, piercing outlets, erotic dens, nail shops, and strip joints.

"We're in," the demigoddess let them follow her and got in some clothes she gave them for Saturday night's neon lights party in Jump City.

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When it reached Saturday night, the guys finished their missions and were surprised that their lovers aren't inside the Titan Tower nor on the Central Island. Nightwing found a sticky note with a matte black lipstick kiss mark on it and read it. He nodded and handed the note to Aquaman II (Jackson Hyde), who recognized his beloved wife the new Wonder Woman's handwriting.

"Hello boys, it seems y'all finished the mission early, don't worry about us, we're currently at that neon lights club dressed up and letting ourselves enjoy some time. If you're reading this Kaldur, you better not let yourself and the rest of the guys catch us there. We're that easy to spot, but you men must be tired and exhausted. The ladies and I got some special presents for y'all, yet it won't happen cause a certain blue bird couldn't keep his thoughts to himself. You boys can drag us back all you want, we'll be running and hiding all night. Once y'all gents find all of us, the ladies and I will be good for you...as long as you perverts tell us why y'all always spy on us during our tea time. Have fun trying to catch us...sincerely yours, your beloved wife Ophelia Stephanie Hyde."

"They're partying at the Neon Lights Club in Jump City," Flash III (Wally West) said as he found the location and showed Nightwing.

"Those women will forever be the death of us," Breach (OMC: Nate Davenport) muttered under his breath, earning a nod from Steel Scion (Superboy I).

Hardware II (Cyborg I), Changeling, and Sentinel (OMC: Matt Ferris) followed Breach to the Zeta Tube while the rest stayed to discuss the women's punishments for lying about their whereabouts. Sentinel opens the location and the heroes headed on the streets of Jump City. The men found the club and walked inside without being caught.

"Now then, where's those girls at?" The girls heard their men and grew excited mixed with fear cause they knew that the boys won't hold back on being rough with them under the sheets.

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Wonder Woman shut the curtains and was a bit of afraid of her possessive husband Aquaman. Miss Martian, Fire Goddess (Starfire), Rocket, Tigress, Black Cat, Zatanna, and White Raven were blushing at how their lovers were prepared to take them home for some rough housing underneath the bedsheets all night long. The heroes were very obsessed and overprotective of their girls, they won't let any man or woman take them away.

"Let's do this number and give our men a good show." The heroines got to their places and were prepared for what they did behind their men's backs every time they by themselves.

"Remember girls, never let a person touch or feel, we let our lovers do that only and we'll be fine." They gulped nervously while stretching and taking deep breaths. "We're getting out of here when the curtain closes and we start running for it backstage to random spots in this club. Don't let them hear or see you...they know that this is a manhunt to them, our asses are doomed when they find all of us. Good luck and I pray to the gods that we can still walk straight after tonight."

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"Thanks," the bartender nodded after passing the heroes some cold water.

"The club got some girls to volunteer and perform some dancing for the crowd tonight. They go by Dahlia (Raven), Violet (Zatanna), Jasmine (Megan), Leilani (Artemis), Rosalie (Eva), Willow (Raquel), Heather (Opal), and Cassia (Kory) Motley of the Spectrum. They did some good dances on the tryouts and got in at first place, I saw those platinum rings with those white diamonds on their fingers and have told many people to try not getting on them cause they're taken. Whoever married or engaged to these ladies, those men are blessed and are proud to love women like them." The bartender explained to the heroes, not knowing that he's actually complimenting them and getting appreciative nods with smiles.

"Peforming on stage, the winners of the Neon Lights Club Dance-Off from last night...here's Spectrum!" The heroes froze to see their wives and lovers in disguise as the Spectrum.

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MAGENTA - EVA (OFC); RED - RAVEN; ORANGE - ARTEMIS ; YELLOW - ZATANNA; GREEN - KORY; CYAN - MEGAN; BLUE - RAQUEL; PURPLE - OPAL (OFC).

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When it goes "Where...have...you...been?", the song does it twice...the warm colors: magenta/Rosalie, red/Dahlia, orange/Leilani, and yellow/Violet will be the first one, and the cool colors: green/Cassia, cyan/Jasmine, blue/Willow, and purple/Heather.

It's a mix of these two choreography videos and it amazes me that people make videos like the two between this sentence inside their dance studios anytime...they're very talented.

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Once the music was over, the crowd cheers and went insane. The Spectrum bows and waves at the people before heading backstage. When the girls got there, they immediately head into the dressing rooms and went dead silent except for their hearts beating in their chests.

"Oh girls, come out wherever y'all are." The girls let Black Cat cast an invisibility spell and an enchantment that blocks the boys from finding them.

(Mind link established, where we're going now Bella?) Miss Martian asked the demigoddess.

(Two words, top floor.) Wonder Woman answered while trying to stay calm and quiet.

The girls snuck out of the dressing rooms and ran upstairs to the secret elevator. White Raven quickly presses it and uses her magic to close the door shut. Fire Goddess chose the top floor and the girls waited till the door opens to their destination.

Once it does, the women rushed out and hides in random places. They heard their men walking up the stairs and gulped nervously. The ladies know that Steel Scion, Hardware, and Changeling can easily search for them, but Black Cat made sure that her mana kept the guys from finding all of them.

"Ladies, you can't hide from us all night long, we will find all of you and drag y'all home if we have to." Nightwing said in a low voice that almost made the Lucky Girl squeak out loud.

White Raven suddenly saw a light switch and use that to turn off the lights. Zatanna silently gave her a thumbs-up and crawled next to the cambion. The nephilim could see the men's feet on the hard ground and grew anxiously afraid.

[I can't find them here,] the Amalgam Kid stated as he sat down on the bed next to Hardware and glares at the floor.

He gets off of it and lifts the bed up with the half-robot man to see nobody there. The boys set the bed down and Steel Scion grew frustrated. The Son of Steel suddenly heard a ball rolling and snaps his eyes to where it came from.

(Damn it, we're so dead.) Tigress said.

(Don't make another sound woman, we can't be caught by Dick and Wally.) Black Cat told her as she makes a magic portal and teleports both of them along with the rest of the girls through the dimensional vortex. (This portal will lead them trying to find us in the cave, but we'll be inside the bottom ground floor where we can get out of these damn outfits and back in the tower.)

Steel Scion saw the portal and it seems to be kept open. The boys ran through it and saw their own selves back in the cave. Their lovers were driving them nuts and it was working...for now.

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The girls got out of their outfits and into their lingerie for tonight. Black Cat teleported them back in the tower after putting those clothes away in their undercover mission closet and saw that the lights were now off. The eight women were cautious and a bit intimidated.

"Jack?/Conner?/Vic?/Nate?/Wally?/Richie?/Matt?/Gar?" The girls called their names out.

Wonder Woman felt familiar webbed hands on her waist and was pulled back against their fronts like the seven women younger than her. She gasps when those certain pair of lips latched onto her bare neck and begun marking it with love bites. The lights went back and the girls immediately huddled together in fear with nervous looks on their faces compared to the darkened expressions written on the men.

"Hey?/Hi?/Hello?/Hiya?" The girls stuttered with reddened faces at how their men marked their necks with hickeys and got them aroused in an once pitch black lounge.

"You women are in some trouble now, y'all knew how jealous and possessive we are to you. Just because y'all dressed yourselves up nice for us doesn't mean all of you are off the hook," the girls froze to see handcuffs and backed away from their lovers while shaking uncontrollably.

"But," Flash raised a hand with Aquaman and Sentinel II (Matt Ferris).

"Nope, y'all getting punished our way and we'll make sure you ladies won't be running next time." Hardware replied to their protests, earning wide-eyed looks and reddened faces from the females in front of them.

(Run,) all eight girls ran to the halls with the boys trailing them off their paths and were lifted over their shoulders by their romantic interest/special companion.

[This never gets old,] the watch wielder said as he takes Zatanna to their shared room in the tower.

[Indeed,] the Atlantean responded while taking his Amazonian wife to their room.

By the end of the night through morning time, the girls were flustered messes and still sore from the rough pounding they got from their lovers. They blushed madly whenever the guys come out without a shirt and gave them sly smirks, which made the ladies smile shyly in return. The moral of their weekend is that to never tease your lovers whenever they still got adrenaline pumping in them from missions and are frustrated from having no sex.

COMMENT DOWN BELOW AND FOLLOW.

[dantebsinferno]

Is that DANTE BARO? A JUNIOR originally from BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, they decided to come to Ogden College to study FINE ART & STUDIO ART. They’re THE HELLKITE on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer’s disappearance.

pinterest | connections |

BASIC STATS

Full Name: Dante Miguel Baro Velasquez

Nicknames: Baro, DB (hates it), most curse words

Date of Birth: March 2nd, 2000

Hometown: Brooklyn, New York

Nationality: American

Ethnicity: Hispanic (Venezuelan)

Western Zodiac: ☼ Aries | ☽ Aquarius | ↑ Libra

Sexuality:  Publicly Straight | Privately Pansexual

Relationship Status: Erratic

Socioeconomic Status: Rich

Occupation: Ew that’s for poor people

PERSONALITY

FOUR POSITIVE TRAITS: Competitive, Loyal, Quick witted, Protective 

FOUR NEGATIVE TRAITS: Opinionated, Ruthless, Unpredictable, Self-centered

THREE SKILLS: Stealing, Art, Intimidation

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Evil

MBTI: ENTJ: The Commander

On the Outside, the phrase ‘you are going to fight me or fuck me’ truly describes Dante Baro. The man comes across as rude at first, but slowly, the rudeness almost becomes charming. He’s a major playboy with a long list of broken hearts. Dante is quick to anger and thrives in chaotic situations. However, like the dog he is, when treated well, he is devoted, affectionate, and protective.

On the Inside, Dante is teetering on becoming unhinged. Every moment he wonders when he will finally snap and unleash the rage within him, at his parents, at the universe, or those who’ve done nothing to him. Usually, he had Greer as an outlet, but with her gone, Dante worries if he’ll finally snap.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER INSPO

Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer), Klaus Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy), Loki (Marvel), Negan (The Walking Dead),

STUDENT FILE

School Year: Junior

Major: Fine Art 

Minor: Studio Art

Sports: Swimming & Diving Team & Crew (Rower) (Captain)

Extracurriculars: Sigma Alpha Epsilon (VP of Recruitment), Boxing Club, Tae Kwon Do Club, & Art Club

FAMILY

César Baro - Father

Luciana Baro - Stepmother

Vera Baro - Younger Half Sister

Lara Velasquez Hernandez - Mother

Raphael Hernandez - Stepfather

Santiago Hernandez - Younger-Half Brother

BACKGROUND

As the son of a famous Spanish soap opera star turned businesswomen and a brilliant engineer that builds planes for all the major airlines, as well as a major stockholder, Dante has never known life without money. He attended the best schools, traveled around the world, and was given anything his heart desired. However it was not without a cost, his parents were too busy and with no other siblings, he was left with nannies to watch out for him.

A rambunctious, wild child, most Nannie’s quit after a few months. One nanny did managed to stick around, Raquel. Dante worshipped her, seeing as the mother he wished he had. However, a falling out with his parents, lead to her being deported. He never got attached to another nanny after that,

His parents later got divorced when he turned twelve. Both parents stayed in New York where he was shuttled between two homes. Neither house felt like home. Family dinners were awkward and tense as neither household knew how to deal with Dante’s anger and instability. Eventually, both parents remarried, having children with their new spouses. Dante was forgotten, left to his own devices.

His comfortable yet loveless life brightened when he met Greer Morrison. She overlooked his gruff exterior, seeing the scared boy hiding behind the anger. It did not take long for him to become infatuated, doing anything she wished.

When he turned eighteen, Dante had a falling out with his parents when he told them he wouldn’t go to college. It was tense night, where Dante revealed his knowledge about a dark deal his parents made and threatening to expose them both to the world. It silenced them, and gave Dante free reign over his life. He did not go to college then, choosing to travel and pursue some hobbies,

It wasn’t until Greer mentioned Ogden that he decided to pursue college. He figured he might as well get a fancy, yet useless, degree just to spite his parents and if it meant more access to Greer, why not?

While the idea of more school was never appealing, Dante found he enjoyed it. He loved parties, the hookups, and the power he held as Greer’s right hand. No messed with him or Greer and if he would keep it that way.

THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH GREER - Greer’s Guard Dog

The magnitude of Dante’s devotion towards Greer is like that of a dog and his master. A childhood play date sparked their relationship when Greer and Dante’s mothers became friends at a charity gala. Some would claim Dante was another soul under Greer’s control, but how could you not adore the one person who never betrayed you. They’d grown close, with Dante making regular visits to the Morrison household. Dante could be seen at Greer’s side at any event, or not too far off. In many ways, Dante was her right hand, and she was the only one to keep him under control. There’s been questions of whether or not this infatuation became romantic or physical. Dante never hid that he loved Greer, the good parts and the darker side only he was privy to. It didn't matter who she was dating. It was only a matter of time before they would be together permanently. Greer’s disappearance has him desperate for answers.

HOW THEY EMBODY THEIR TROPE - The Hellkite

Like his namesake, Dante has seen hell and people who will undoubtedly be there. Cruelty and depravity is all you can assume from anyone. He treats everyone as if they are beneath him, and no one is exempt from his harsh criticism or cruel actions. Dante simply doesn’t care how his actions affect people and it’s your fault if you are offended by something he does. He doesn’t have the time or the energy for the sensitivity of other people. A part of him finds delight in hurting others. He knows he’s messed up and therapists have tried to heal him, but at the end of the day, he will chase his own pleasure.

MISCELLANEOUS/HEADCANONS/RANDOM THOUGHTS

After high school, Dante went to culinary school in Paris. He loves to cook and it kills him that his dorm doesn’t have a kitchen.

For someone so arrogant and self-absorbed, he’s a generous lover. His famous quote: “if only one of us comes, then it’s masturbation.”

Dante is a morning person.

When he can’t sleep, Dante goes for a run.

Raised Catholic, but doesn’t practice.

Is terrified by dolls.

Has a motorcycle.

Dante is working on a comic book.

Believes liquor bottles are decorative.

Has a ranking list of who he’s slept with, very open about having it, but never gives out any specifics.

He really wants a pet, but not responsible enough to take care of it.

Is banned from borrowing books from the library.

[andswarwrites]

Day 25

I haven't written a poem in ages.  When I was a kid I discovered some beautiful poems which my mother had written, and I was inspired to imitate her and write a few of my own.  I showed them to my English teacher and she said I reminded her of A.A. Milne.  As I grew up, my poetry did not remain light and fluffy.  Poetry became an outlet for turbulence, turmoil and dark thoughts.  And then when I started to fall in love, I wrote several poems on that topic.  I compiled them in a book which I gave to S- as a wedding present.

Years later, I went through a period of inner turmoil that twisted and turned me this way and that, and the only way for me to truly express what I was feeling was in verse.  It was as if my thoughts and emotions were so heavy and overwhelming, I couldn't face them directly, I had to approach them from an angle, but with every poem I would express a small piece of truth, and get closer to digging deep down to the root of my problem.  Poetry was a vital outlet during that time.

I never forced a poem.  The first line would pop into my head and I would look around frantically for something to write with and on, and then I'd scrawl it out in a burst.  Just like drawing, poetry is an outlet I miss.  I haven't given up hope, however.  I hope that one day when I'm in the right frame of mind, I'll take up poetry and traditional artwork again.  Knowing how much both have helped me out in the past, to vent pent up emotion, to express what I couldn't otherwise say, I'm sure when they are needed I'll be able to turn to them, like trusted friends.

Have you ever sung along to a song with lyrics that touched your heart so deeply they made you cry?  There's something about that momentary release of tension.  And at times, when you're feeling low, and you put on a playlist of jaunty, happy tunes, it lifts you up out of your funk.  To me, lyrics are poems that happen to have found their soul mates in the melodies they accompany.  At times, the lyrics to a song have unlocked grief that I'd bottled up inside me and let it pour out in a cascade of tears.

Tears do not come easily to me.  Like I said, I bottle things up.  I've heard that others can have a "good cry" and after that they feel better; I envy that ability.  I'll have a few tears prickle my eyes now and then, but really letting them flow does not happen often.  You know what reduces me to a sobbing, weeping mess?  Fiction.  Fictional stories in a sad song, or book or movie.  Thanks to fiction I can take all that I have bottled up and cry over it obliquely.

What I used to bottle up the most was fear.  Fear of loss, fear of reprisal, fear of making mistakes, fear of disaster: I was very good at building mental scenarios and living them vividly in my mind, reducing myself to a quaking wreck.  I still have thoughts pop into my head, imagining how I would feel if such and such a thing happened.  I refuse to dwell on that.  Even if it's a very realistic possibility, I put it out of my mind, telling myself I will deal with it if and when it happens, not before.

I refuse to mar a day of happiness and tranquility with the fear that I will lose it tomorrow.  So now what I have bottled up inside me is mainly what life has thrown at me up until this point.  I've processed most of it, to be honest.  Through the written word, either by writing it or reading it, confiding in close friends, shouting/singing along to songs; I've been moved to the tears that I've needed to shed.  If I wrote in a notebook instead of at a keyboard, there would be tear-stained pages for sure.

Five years ago I started having a scary sensation.  It felt like my brain was on fire.  This heat would travel around my scalp.  I asked my psychiatrist about it and he didn't know what it was.  I've figured out, from analyzing it on my own, that it is some kind of stress response.  When I get anxious, not even consciously anxious, but when a great amount of pressure and strain persist, this strange pain floods my head.  I don't panic when I feel it, instead I make a note of it, and do my best to calm down.

If S- or N- is home, I approach one of them and explain that I need a hug.  If I'm all alone I take a deep, shuddering breath, and I often start to pray.  Sometimes I'm not even capable of putting thoughts into words, so the prayer may only be a brief cry for help.  The hot searing pain never lasts long.  It's a physical manifestation of some sort of pressure, some sort of impossible load and weight, that I cannot deal with on my own.  It's so incredibly important to be willing to ask for help.

Whether it's a poem, a story, a drawing, a painting on a miniature, a song: in our household something new is made every day by one, two or all three of us.  We need this creativity as a means of self-expression, to deal with stress, or both.  Creative gifts are amazing because they are not only a gift to the person who is making art, they are a gift to those we share the art with.  When we put a piece of ourselves in what we created, and that piece speaks to others, it is an incomparable feeling. 

[independentaussie]

Rediscovering the joy of writing speculative fiction after a long hiatus

I have always been a writer, although at times I've done my very best to pretend that I'm not. In fact, for most of my life, writing has been such a natural thing for me, that I've kind of taken it for granted and that hasn't been all that beneficial. For a while, I wrote the full gamut of what is broadly described as speculative fiction - horror, sci-fi, dark fantasy and other shades of weirdness. A lot of it was published in various small press magazines. I got a real buzz out of it.

An early success One day, I just stopped. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe the well went dry. Perhaps I couldn't find the time. Or maybe I got a little frightened that I wasn't good enough. There's probably a little bit of truth in each of those statements. The last piece of speculative fiction that I wrote held a clue. It was a piece that came out of nowhere (all the best stuff does) and its conclusion left me wanting to explore the themes further and extend the story into a novel. There were so many threads, themes and unanswered questions lurking in those 4000-odd words that further chapters simply had to be written. And yet, I could not do it. I tried attacking it from multiple angles but when the words came, they seemed forced and inferior to that initial piece. So, I gave up.

The lie

I continued to write but steered clear of anything resembling fiction. "There wasn't enough money in it," I lied as if money was ever the reason. The lie has lain dormant waiting to be exposed for at least ten years. I've been scratching around it hesitantly for a few months. The trigger was that last piece, a hard copy of which has been stuffed in a drawer all this time. The story still demands exploration. I've been trying without a lot of success. It's been quite a painful exercise and I have to admit that I've nearly chucked it in on a couple of occasions. While I've been wrestling with this, I've also been searching for the hard disk where I'd stored all my previous speculative fiction. Sure, I had some scattered around in various magazines, but I wanted all of it. For some reason, I'd come to believe that those stories contained the key that would unlock the story that I wanted to write.

Rediscovering the key to writing speculative fiction

About 10 days ago, I found about 95% of them and to be honest, I'm kind of blown away. I have no idea where some of that stuff came from and that's the key. I realised that my best speculative fiction literally comes out of nowhere sparked by a vague idea. There was no plan, no structure, and no reason. I just tapped in and let the story take me where it wanted to go. I had forgotten that. It's been a joy to rediscover that - even if it means that the work I'd done on my novel has to be discarded. I need to follow the story where it leads, rather than lead it where I think it should go. Writing speculative fiction is in a sense, counter-intuitive to much of my professional writing. That professional writing is methodical, focused, planned and well, let's be honest, pretty damn boring. I've been out of speculative writing for so long that I'd kind of lost my sense of how to write it. it isn't so much writing ...but feeling if that makes sense.

So, what now?

I'm no spring chicken. Writing content is safe and secure but has the hallmarks of sputtering to the forgettable close that I tried to avoid by quitting banking. My blog has served mainly as a creative and at times emotional outlet. It will expire shortly after I do. There is an increasing urgency to create something worthwhile. The novel demands to be written. I'm not sure where that takes me and that's exciting but I don't plan to stop there. You see, I have all these stories that I want you to read. Some of them need some polish. Others should be toned down a little (Clive Barker's Books of Blood reads like an Enid Blyton Book in comparison). A couple of them are pretty damn good as they are. So, I'm working feverishly to make them presentable and to put them into some sort of order. I'm not sure what format I'll release them in. I'm still working through some logistics but one way or another I aim to publish them all this year. That means that all other projects (and there are at least 5) will be taking a back seat and my content work will continue for the time being. I've come to realise that I'm not just a writer. I am a speculative fiction writer and always have been. it's time that I shared that with you and I can't wait. Read the full article

[rourhksapocolypse]

I heard that song earlier today, and a thought occurred to me that I was leaving you a little empty handed.

So, earlier today, I gave you "Me Feels".

Now, I give you a different Feels - the opener to a long delayed fictional funeral.

See, I've had one of my fictional characters, Roxxanne Croft, for over a decade. She has been my muse, my inspiration, my Voodoo Doll and outlet. She has been my companion and a largely willing target for anything terrible I come up with (or eraser if it's something I don't want happening, e.g. unasked for sexual contact, with said contactor heading to meet either a Warden or a pit of soul erasing Fire shortly thereafter... Yeah, I have a mild obsession with that I don't fully understand, but I understand my wish to have her suddenly mutate wings of any kind only to have to tear them off herself to great pain singer rather than later even less).

She also lost her parents in her arms one after another, then got real busy with work. So she put off anything to do with processing until she has a serious break that didn't require focus... which never came.

In comes a Familiar of Zero fanfic idea. She ends up replacing Saito, and a few episodes in, we have the Familiar Festival, where mages and familiars show a brand new skill and try to wow people.

The idea here is that, with the Void arrangement of Canon, Roxxanne would decide they're the familiars of each other (since Roxxanne has magic) and they'd cooperatively make a show - one which doesn't require any magic, since Roxxanne has tech skills, music skills as a hobby (which was previously helpful in maintaining morale while watching over a bunch of teenagers), and Louise has plenty of local magical knowledge but no skill with it.

A song or two no one has heard for Louise (who also has altered Gandalfr runes, part of the reasoning for them both being familiars) such as Thunderstruck, as a statement that she is more than anyone expects, and then Louise makes a comment that, as nice as it is that she's getting some credit, they're not really showing off the skills of the non local familiar. Or her story.

And that, since Roxxanne's pride is noticeably lopsided, leads to the first two songs I mentioned.

One, an ode to her mother Lara, the other a reference to her father as much as to her self-given job of human maintenance in a warzone. And they're both cooperative, which also helps take the focus off the person Roxxanne isn't proud of (herself), while making a grand statement.

Music to help her friend, quietly grieving her parents along the way, and the songs themselves have their own impacts, their own stories.

If you put those stories, those songs, in order, it's simple.

Thunderstruck: I have good taste in music, and I'm more than you expect.

Red like Roses, part one and two combined: beautiful cinematic fight scenes, while screaming at the world with your grief - even as your mother does the same. A grim image for the beginnings of RWBY, but then there's lots of subtle darkness in both RWBY and Roxxanne, covered with sunshine.

Black Parade: "When I was a young boy, my father asked, 'will you be the savior of the Broken? The Beaten and the Damned?' And now, I'm older, scarred by the world, and we, all of us, will carry on."

[dinthehottotty]

Little Lights

Summary: Din takes you to an emergency medical outlet when you think you’ve got appendicitis. Heads up. It’s not.

Rating: M, +18

Warnings: Angst, fluff, depictions of blood, unknown pregnancy, premature babies, mentions of ass eating and other suggestive language. (I have put very little research into this... If it’s not accurate. it’s fiction.) This ends much softer than I anticipated.

“You’re making the weird face again,” Din reminds you. Letting out a slow deep breath, you glance over at him. 

“Mhmm. Just... one sec...” You agree. Instead of resorting to the awkward, polite smile, you squeeze your eyes shut for the duration of the awful cramps. “Oof,” you grunt when it eases away. “It’s kind of going in waves.”

“Are you okay?” Din demands, moving to your side.

“Yeah, probably just something I ate, you know my stomach’s been all over the place.” Din glances around the new ship, uncomfortable. 

“Do you think you need medical attention?” He’s crowding you, as you wave your hand dismissively. 

“I think I’m either about to get a bad menstrual cycle or something’s not agreeing with me, you know?” Din unlatches his helmet and removes it. A rare occurrence, but you can see the concern on his face. He leans forward to kiss your forehead. He’d only recently started to show you his face, the kid’s been with the jedi almost a year now. Almost a year since he gave up the creed.

Your lover still liked to make out in the dark, he only occasionally took off his helmet to eat with you at the little table shoved in the corner of the hull. He was slowly getting better about showing you. More than anything though, he took the helmet off to kiss you. It was always one of those things you loved. Him leaning down to kiss you before he left. If you were still exhausted from the last bounty - which was becoming more frequent lately - he would crawl into the bed you’d shoved into a small alcove. 

He said it reminded him of the crest. You suspect he’s a little homesick of his old ship, even if he likes this one better. 

“I’m worried about you. I think you’re sick,” the Mandalorian urges. 

“I’ve probably just developed irritable bowel syndrome from those awful ration packets, but when we get to Nevarro, I’ll see a doctor, okay?” His eyes soften and there’s something about the sweet look he gives you, his open expressions of devotion that’s stirring something down low. 

“I would really like that,” he murmurs.

“Do you want to help me with my cramps?” You asks playfully, suggestively. His eyebrows raise in pleasant surprise and he gives you a quiet laugh.

“I don’t know if this is the time for that if you think you’re having bowel issues.” You giggle back and shimmy closer. 

“What can I say, you’re just really hot. To be fair, you’ve eaten my ass,” you respond and he laughs a little more. There’s so much affection in his gaze, you feel floaty. You would have never expected him to be hiding all of that under his helmet.  

“Let me catch this baby bounty and get you to Nevarro first.” Baby bounty was a term you’d got him saying. A reference to a quick and easy bounty. 

“Okay, okay,.. but what if I just blew you a little?” You try. He breaks out into actual laughter at this, pulling you flush with himself. 

“If you’re feeling better when I get back, I’ll eat you out until we hit Nevarro, got it?” Your giggles fill the air. 

“I might shave while you’re gone then...” you hum and he noses behind your ear. 

“Insatiable thing,” he rumbles. You allow yourself to lean against him. His hands find the hem of your shirt - gloves sliding over your aching back. “Go take a long shower, if I have time, I’ll grab you something to eat other than ration packets.

“I’m not even hungry right now,” you respond.

“You might be when I get back,” he counters. This. Right here. Was the best your life would get. You feel a knot start in your chest when your mandalorain walks away. Like this would change. The anxiety induced by him leaving was spurring on one thought.

I’m going to die. 

It was an absurd thought. You were just cramping pretty bad. Right?

...

When Din comes back with the bounty tagging along in cuffs, the fresher is still running. He moves the bounty into the carbonite chamber before going to check on you. The knock on the door is only answered by a whimper.

You look up at him when the door flies open, curled up under the water. 

“What’s wrong?” He demands, the food he’d had set on the floor so he can crumble to his knees beside you. 

“It fucking hurts! Like the worst cramps of my life! The water helps but I think I pissed myself it hurts so bad.”

“There’s got to be an emergency center on this planet. Do you want me to move you to the bed?” 

“No, no, please.” Din’s fluttering around you nervously. 

“I’ll be right back.” You are wishing you’d just black out by now. When the ship takes off, you assume he’s moving closer to an emergency clinic. Had the last bounty exposed you to some kind of neurotoxin? Was your apendix about to explode? Even you back hurt. 

Within minutes you were landing again. When Din finally had returned you couldn’t hold back the cries of pain, tears welling in your eyes. “Come on,” he urges, shutting off the water and grabbing a towel to dry you quickly. He hoists you off the floor when he’s satisfied. “Gotta get some clothes on you.”

“Just grab a blanket, please!” You’re thankful he’s so calm as he takes you back to bed. He settles you until your wrapped up in the blanket before hoisting you back up and marching off the ship. 

The sights around you surprise. “DID YOU LAND IN A BAZAAR?” You gasp.

“Yes, it’s closer.” He answers, marching across the crowd of people staring and whispering. The pain comes back full swing at this moment and you have to ignore them as he carries you into a building. 

“Welcome to-” a nurse droid starts to say.

“Get her a bed.” Din snarls. 

“Sir, there are other people waiting.” the receptionist starts to scold when you twist in his arms to glare at her. “Triage is right this way,” she gestures when Din stalks right up to the desk.

“You two can come this way.” A nurse calls and Din doesn’t linger by the receptionist. The curtain is drawn as he lowers you onto the bed. You wheeze through the pain as it thankfully lifts again. “Tell me what’s going on.” The nurse ask, as she sets up a contraption above you.

“She started off with cramping but it’s gotten worse over the course of the last few hours.”

“Is it just your stomach? Any recent injuries?” 

“At first it was. My back hurts now too. Laying down’s making it worse. Does appendicitis radiate?”

“No injuries at least not this week.” Lights start flashing as she hooks something onto your arm. Getting vitals. Quickly they’re appearing in red on the hallopad. Blood pressure and pulse up. 

You snag Din’s hand when another cramp wrecks you. You groan through your teeth.

The nurse pause then glances nervously between you. “Are you sexually active?" The nurse asks.

"Yeah," you grit out. "But I've got an implant. Just replaced six months ago." The nurse turns towards you.

"Let's rule out pregnancy, okay?" The nurse urges. "Can I do a quick pelvic exam?"

"Please just do whatever you have to," your voice breaks as the pain stops again. You're watching the nurses face as she leans down. It's when her mouth presses into a thin line that your heart sinks as her hand prods.

You yelp when something feels like it jabs you. "What the hell was that!"

"Get the doctor." She tells the Droid. And off it goes.

"What?" Din demands.

The nurse holds something up, the little 'T' shape makes your eyes fly wide. "DID YOU JUST PULL MY IUD OUT WITH YOUR HAND!" Your shriek has Din's hand hovering over his blaster.

"Yes. Hanging out out of one side of your cervix." She replies.

"One side?" You whimper. She nods at you, her face morbid.

"You're cervix has begun to dilate. We need to get you an ultrasound. Stat. You're probably not far along." You're world is spinning, tilting, flying apart. Dread begins to fill you. "I suspect your IUD wasn't placed right." Tears are spilling over.

What have I done? You cry. You should have known! How could you not know!

"What does that mean?" Din hovers. "What's happening!?" You can hear the panic in your voice but you can't respond.

"She's in active labor," the nurse explains just as a doctor walks in, followed closely by the doctor. "Judging by the size of you're belly, not very far along."

"Pregnant?" Din whispers, too stunned to respond beyond that. The nurse is yelling in the hallway for something after she passes the IUD off to the doctor.

"Let's have a look then," the doctor murmurs to himself sliding on gloves.

Din glances at you for a long moment, just as another contraction starts. Only now your moaning, and mourning.

While Din's demanding, you've been counting. You've been insatiable for months. You've been sick on and off for ages. The cravings, the mood swings, the tender breasts. How could you have not seen. Hell you thought the fluttering in your belly was gas.

No prenatal care.

There was no way this baby was full term. Being this premature, you feel nothing but dread at the life you've neglected inside of you. You just close your eyes through the contraction and the tears.

"When was your last cycle? Dr. Xi'us, by the way." The doctor asks.

"I don't know," you mutter.

“Is she okay?” He asks. 

“Premature labor.”

“I didn’t ask that! I asked if my wife is okay?”

“It’s not so simple, sir. She’s had very little prenatal care. She could have gone into labor from illness, infection-”

Something smooth slides over your cheek. When you open your eyes, it's Din, hovering over you, gloved fingers stroking your face.

"It'll be okay." He promises.

"I'm sorry, I should have known."

"You'll be okay," he murmurs to you.

"But the baby- Din, the baby." He smooths your hair back. "It'll be too little."

"I just need you," he begs. Your heart breaks. It breaks at the strain to his voice. It breaks at the shaking of his hands. It breaks because couples are supposed to be kissing and smiling and saying things like ‘I hope the baby has your nose’. Instead, you have the most dangerous bounty hunter in the galaxy... choosing you over your baby. Din is choosing you over your child. It crushes you.

“Gonna feel some cold gel-” When did the nurse come back? Din’s helmet presses against your head. You could hear him helplessly repeating the same thing.

You’ll be okay.

The probe presses to your belly and-

Wom wom wom wom wom wom wom.

That’s a heart beat. Terror rises in you because somehow, you were hoping that this wasn’t actually a baby. You were hoping that it was actually your appendix bursting. That way it wouldn’t have killed your baby. 

“The baby’s further along than I thought.” Doctor is watching over the shoulder of the nurse.

Another contraction. 

“That will still be cutting it close,” he continues, as if you weren’t writhing in pain. “You’re baby can’t be more than 28 weeks. I suppose just let me know when you feel like pushing,” the doctor nudges. 

“Can’t you give me something to delay labor until full term?” You demand. He shakes his head.

“No, you’re too far into labor for that.” You look at the nurse desperately. She was giving you a worried look, her eyes holding your own. You close them, accepting that this was happening. 

“Do you want to know the gender?”

________

“So you’re ready to push, huh?” The doctor calls out. 

You glower at him under your arm. You were already on your knees on the bed, gripping the head board, bent over. You couldn’t help but bear down and groan. 

“We’re gonna need you to lie on your back dear.” 

“Fuck off,” you snarl and grab Din’s hand. The doctor startles.

“She pushes in whatever position she wants,” Din calls out, you feel his hands rubbing your back as he says becomes more hostile. Oh, bless him. 

You’d barely spoken to each other in the last hour, both just absorbing the news that you’d created life. Twenty minutes was spent with the nurse droid helping you find a comfortable position.

“Really, the back is-” Din shifts, you glance up to see his blaster pulled.

“She doesn’t want to push on her back.”

“Fine, fine. Put the blaster away, sir.” The doctor lined up behind you.

Between pushes, Din continues to caress you, leaning close to your ear to hum into you ear. “You’re doing great.” More sweating and pushing. “You’ll be okay.”

You lean over to Din in between pushing attempts and kiss his helmet over his mouth. When you went to resume pushing, your Mando leans into your ear. “I love you,” he murmurs. It feels good to hear him say that.

“Here comes the head-” Something shifted lower. “Come on, just the shoulders now.” 

“Come on, cyar’ika.” And you collapse against Din when the pain stops. Din leaned against you in return. 

“Where’s the cry?” You pant as he holds you against his cool armor. His hands tremble on your back, one hand holding your head close to his shoulder. 

“There he is.” Doctor murmurs. “

“Please cry,” you mutter against a beskar shoulder.

“Suction.”

Finally, a high pitch cry rises, a squeal that doesn’t sound like a normal baby sound. It breaks the air and you relax in Din’s hold. He’s gripping you even tighter.

...

It’s been several hours. You’re tucked away in a dark little room with your lover, you’ve both just been watching the little incubator humming in the corner. 

“Did you call me your wife earlier?” You ask, murmuring against his chest.

“What? No.”

You lift your chin to look up at his helmet. Still tucked against his armor.

“You totally did.”

“No, I definitely didn’t.”

“Bullshit,” you hum. “You didn’t have to pull you blaster on the doctor, either.” 

“Asshole doctor.” He squeezes you against his chest. You relax against him, eyes drifting slowly shut. 

You delivered a baby boy. You still hadn’t decided on a name, hadn’t even mentioned it yet. The bacta spray was doing wonders for your pain though.

“I didn’t want you to...”

“Hm?”

“I... I didn’t want you to see how small he was,” he murmured. “If he didn’t make it, I didn’t want you to see.” There is a deep ache in your chest again.

“This just got a whole lot more complicated.”

“Yeah, it did.”

“Greef’s gonna lose his shit.” Din actually groans.

“Locking you up when we get out of here.” You giggle quietly. 

“What are we gonna do? He’s so little, Din. Fuck, were not even married.”

“Who gives a shit if were married. They already said his lungs were sounding better. When we leave, we’ll go back to Nevarro. No hunting for a few weeks at least.” 

“Are... are you happy?”

“I’m... scared.” He heaves a sigh. “I don’t want to lose you. Scared the hell out of me.”

“Din,” you hum. “I love you.”

“I love you. We don’t have to have it figured out, you know.”

“I’m glad you’re still here.” 

“So am I.” His arms tighten around you.

The high pitched squealing begins again. You lift your head. “I’ll grab him.” You adjust slightly and glance down at your aching breast. You work to pull the blankets down your chest, the buttons on the gown moving too. A drop of something nearly clear is welling at your chest.

“Think he’s hungry,” Din is so careful with lifting the baby up, not really needing both hands for the tiny baby as. You slide to the far edge of the bed. “They said the more he feeds, the more milk I’ll produce and my boobs... kind of hurt right now.” Din is so delicate to hand him over. He’d missed that part when he’d finally gone to move the ship. 

The rattling cry only stops when the tiny mouth latches on to a wet nipple. You feel Din sinking down beside you on the bed, leaning in close to watch. It’s then that you realize he’s not wearing his gloves. He traces your son’s crown gently with a fingertip. “Can I name him?” Din asks. You blink over at him.

“What were you thinking of?” Din rests his helm against your shoulder, nuzzling your neck with cool metal.

“Kean,” he hums. “It was my father’s name.” 

“I like it.”

“Mando! To what do I owe this pleasure,” you hear Kagra’s voice carry from the cock pit. You’re quiet climbing the ladder. 

“We’re on our way,” 

“That bounty took longer than I expected, did he give you more difficulty than we expected?” Kagra offers, “Not that there is a match for the two of you.” You move to the co pilot seat, careful not to be loud enough to wake the baby that Din’s been cradling for the better part of an hour, murmuring softly to him. 

“The bounty wasn’t the issue. We had to stop at the emergency medical outlet.” He replies and Kagra’s face twists in distress. 

“Is everyone o- Hold on, Cara. Is everyone okay?” Cara was obviously hovering over Kagra’s left shoulder. 

“Yeah, but we’re going to need time off for a while.” Kagra’s concern deepens.

“What happened!? Did someone get hurt?” There is a tiny cry at the commotion. One that has Din tilting his head down toward the bundle in his arms. Kagra seems to notice this and sits forward in his own chair. 

“No one’s hurt, just a surprise.” He quietly hushes the bundle in his arms, gently brushing a finger over the little one’s cheek. 

“Another foundling! Delightful!” Kagra gasps. 

“Actually,” Din responds, “This is our son. We... we didn’t know we were expecting.” You smile at him. 

“What!?” Is heard shouted and Kagra goes toppling to the side. Cara leans into view. “You’re telling me you two pushed out a kid?”

“Two? I’m pretty sure it was my vagina that he cracked out of!” You protest, leaning over Din’s shoulder.

“Do you think you both could set us up a house for when we arrive on Nevarro?” Din asks. 

“Absolutely!” Kagra calls. “How did this even happen though!? How did you not know that you were pregnant.”

“We’ll explain when we get there. But he’s early, and very small,” you hum.

“Well, we’ll be here, ready to welcome all three of you when you arrive.” Din’s fingers thread through your hair on the screen, making you smile over at him. 

“Thank you,” Din replies. 

“He’s about to get fussy, needs to eat.” You hum. “Can I steal him back?” 

“Of course.”

“I’ll give him right back.” He adjusts to hand him back to you. 

“A boy?” Kagra celebrates.

“Yes, a boy.” Soon you settle out of sight, adjusting to get ready to nurse. “We should be there tomorrow, I know it’s short notice.”

“Non-sense! We’ll ensure everything’s ready, even if your move into my own place. We’ll get everything ready for you both. Now go be with your family, my friend.” When the holopad lowers, Din removes his helmet before turning toward you. He’s illuminated by the little lights of hyperspace. 

Nothing needs to be said, as you stroke the warm little body resting on your own, a quiet suckling rising. But Din finds a moment to make this moment more intimate.

“I’ll marry you soon. Not because of him... just so you know.” He responds. It makes you beam at him.

“Come kiss me, Din.”

Taglist:  @lxdyred, @boliv-jenta, @amidjarin, @qhbr2013

[peachycoreroo]

i was thinking, what about boys from haikyuu losing game and taking their anger on their s/o in bed to the point s/o is saying safe word, crying? if that's too much, just make them really angry, hurting s/o with words.

i was thinking about Suna, Kita and maybe Shirabu?

characters: suna rintarou, kita shinsuke, shirabu kenjirou

genre: smut, slight angst, fluff at the end

word count: 1.8k

warnings: fem!reader, angry boys, established relationships, spanking, one (1) face slap, choking, vaginal penetration, oral m!receiving, usage of ‘whore’, ‘bitch’ and ‘slut’, heavy degradation, semi-public sex, pretty harsh words are said, safe word is used

authors note: uuu this is my first darker piece for hq, but it does end in fluff!! i tweaked it so it fits the timeskip, but just a friendly reminder that this is pure fiction, your favs love you and would never hurt you<3 here's a link to my masterlist

pt.2: kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru, tsukishima kei

suna rintarou:

it wasn’t often that your boyfriend resorted to pounding the living shit out of you immediately when you had sex, usually opting for teasing you till you couldn’t take it anymore and begged him to fuck you or took the reins in your own hands and rode him till you were both shaking from overstimulation.

this time, was bad though.

the japanese national volleyball team just lost the finale of the olympics, resulting in them only getting the silver medal. no matter how amazing the second-place sounded, it still hit hard to miss the big gold by a hair.

just like how hard suna was currently hitting your ass, as he fucked into you in the empty changing room of the team. you only wanted to check on him when you saw how dejected he looked as he left the field with the team, when the tall brunet just ripped down your clothes and bent you over, fury dancing in his greenish eyes.

you knew how hard rintarou and his teammates worked for this. it was only natural they couldn’t celebrate. losing is still losing, no matter if you’re getting a medal.

“f-fuck, rin, it hurts”, you wailed, tears already streaming down your face from the full-force slaps that were delivered to your sore ass cheeks. being bent over with only the locker in front of you and sunas’ hands on your hips as a leverage to not fall face first on the floor, slowly took a troll on your tired body. it also didn’t help that your legs were barely able to keep you up with how powerful his thrusts were.

“shut the fuck up and take it, worthless whore”, he growled furiously, thrusts only increasing in speed, and a hand sneaking to your front, wrapping itself around your neck. the cruel comments that usually caused your cunt to flutter and eyes roll back, suddenly made your heart sink.

you knew he was angry at being defeated by the opposing team and not at you, but you couldn’t stop the heavy feeling in your chest, or the tears that seemed to multiply at his cold remark.

when the adjustment of his hips caused him to hammer his fat tip painfully against your cervix and his hand tightened harshly around your throat, your knees gave out and you tried to scream only for nothing to come out of your mouth.

“useless, fucking bitch, can’t even stand upright. why do i even keep you around?” he aggressively huffed, not paying any attention to your comfort. you couldn’t take this anymore.

your body went completely limp, as you whispered a small, choked ‘silk’, not even being sure if he heard, when his mind was so clouded by rage.

but he did. and his heart painfully clenched when he recognized the hurt tone in your voice, instantly letting go of your bruised throat and ceasing his thrusts.

guilt filled him as he pulled out and finally looked at you to see you sobbing uncontrollably, arms wrapping protectively around your form as if you were afraid of him hurting you.

“hey… hey, y/n, sweetie, look at me.” suna’s gentle tone had you looking up at him, your vision blurry as your pained expression met his tender one.

“’m s-sorry i couldn’t help you, r-rin’. ‘m sorry y-you lost”, you stuttered out helplessly.

here you were, crying and in pain, but still thinking about him. the brunet was sure he didn’t deserve you.

“no, i’m sorry, pretty. i got carried away”, the tall volleyball player whispered softly, his large palms cupping your cheeks, “i love you and i never want to hurt you. please, forgive me.”

the guilt etched into his handsome face showed you just how bad he really felt, your lips lifting in a small smile. “’s ok, rin’. i love you too.”

the tall male breathed out a sigh of relief as he embraced you tightly and kissed your forehead. suna rintarou would never get carried away like this again. that, he promised himself.

kita shinsuke:

when kita got home, all dejected and upset because some assholes decided to trash grandma yumie’s precious crops in the darkness of the night, you opened your arms with love and understanding. what you didn’t expect however, as you asked how you could help, was to end up on your knees with your boyfriend abusing your throat for what felt like hours.

your knees were aching from the uncomfortable position on the hardwood floor, throat painfully contracting around his thick length as he pounded your mouth as if it were your cunt, jaw hurting from holding it open for so long.

you felt like you would pass out any minute, and while normally kita would immediately sense any of your slightest mood shifts when you were being intimate, he didn’t this time.

where there was usually a caring boyfriend who wouldn’t take his gaze of your face and always asked if you’re doing okay, was a guy who had a far away look on his frowning face, only using you as an outlet for his anger.

the white-black haired male was almost scarily quiet, only occasional grunts and growls escaping his lips. your gurgling and gagging sounds as he hit the back of your throat with every forceful thrust were painful to listen to, and you couldn’t wrap your head around your boyfriend not realizing what he was doing to you.

as tears streamed down your numb face, you weren’t able to stop your teeth from grazing his fat cock, your throbbing jaw not cooperating with your brain anymore.

kita let out an animalistic growl as he pulled out of your wet mouth at once, a sudden slap to your tender cheek startling you.

“you asked how to help and you’re doing exactly that, but can’t even do that for me, huh?”, he spat almost hostilely.

the hurtful words, the harsh slap and the rage painted on his usually calm and kind face made your heart ache, as you sobbed out a ‘peach! shin’, please! peach!’

kita suddenly felt as if he awoke from a hypnosis, when he heard you cry out your safe word. as his -now clear- gaze fell on you, he couldn’t help his chest from painfully tightening. you only offered to help, and he’s gone and hurt you like never before.

falling on his knees in front of you, he pulled you into his strong arms, rocking you both side to side as he apologetically murmured ‘i’m so sorry, angel’ and ‘i love you’ over and over again into your messy hair.

“m’ okay, shinsuke. just wanted to help", you sniffled against his chest, making kita close his eyes out of pure shame that he did that to you.

“let’s get you into the bathtub and i’ll cook your favorite, how does that sound love?”, he whispered softly, as if afraid that any of his next movements would make you break.

the next few weeks you barely got to do anything, kita shinsuke always glued to your side and immediately taking over any task that was thrown at you.

shirabu kenjirou:

being a med student was fucking exhausting. shirabu had spent months writing a very important thesis about certain brain tumors on newborns, only for his professor to give him a c. something about it not being detailed enough.

“fuck you”, shirabu spat as he was sitting in front of the fire place in your shared apartment, throwing all 80 pages of the “not detailed” dissertation into the fire.

“ken’? what are you doing?”

“burning this fucking nightmare. ’m gonna drop out, fuck this shit”, he almost growled furiously. coming up behind him, you wrapped your arms around his neck from behind, leaning down to ask lowly: “you want a better way to deal with your anger?”

that’s how you found yourself bent over his lap with your panties dangling at your ankles. the spanking wasn’t new, your boyfriend being super pissed while doing so, was.

the first few slaps went as usual with you clenching around nothing and enjoying the rubs to the tender flesh shirabu hit a few seconds prior. after, it suddenly went downhill.

all at once, the soft caresses ceased to a stop, his calloused palm from years of playing volleyball coming down on your ass with full force and the copper-haired man spewing some of the most degrading stuff you’ve ever heard.

“fucking slut, getting off to this. you like it when i use you to let out my anger? i’m having a hard time while you’re just being a horny, selfish fucktoy”.

at the last sentence, you froze. did he really think you were using him? you only wanted to help, but his cold words continued. “gonna beat your ass till it’s sore and aching, you won’t be able to sit without remembering what a useless fucking girlfriend you were while i needed support.”

the logical part of your brain knew, that your boyfriend didn’t mean it. the anger got the best of him, and he just threw around accusations like he wished he could do at his asshole of a prof.

but the bigger, sensitive part of your brain convinced you that he meant every single hurtful word. you weren’t even hearing what derogatory stuff was spilling from his lips anymore, vision blurry and ears ringing from the pain you felt in your chest as well as your ass cheeks.

was this your fault? was it wrong to try and help? maybe you should’ve given him some space.

a particularly hard spank brought you back to reality, suddenly tasting the salty wetness of your tears seeping into your mouth as you cried out a loud ‘pumpkin!”, trying to push yourself out of his lap and landing on the floor with a loud ‘thud’ as his hands instantly let you go.

shirabu could only look at you wide-eyed when he saw how you were choking on your sobs and crawling backwards, just to get away from him.

“please don’t hit me anymore!”, were the words, that would haunt kenjirou for the rest of his life. he could feel himself tear up when it hit him what he did to you, his precious girlfriend, just because he was angry at a prof.

“baby, i- please i would never hit you like that on purpose, i- “, the male felt his throat tighten up and with a quiet sniffle he embraced you tightly, craving the warmth of your body. “forgive me, i love you so much, please don’t go.”

as you started to calm down, your arms wrapped themselves around him, wanting to be close to him as well, because no matter what, he was your biggest comfort and you still loved him.

“’m not going anywhere, kenji’. just… please don’t do that ever again”, you murmured against his temple.

“never.”

[inactive334884]

⚠️ Video Archives within the reblog⚠️

Concerning Amounts of Ableism within Helluva Boss.

After my last post, ive realized that Mooxie is oddly autism coded, and from “oddly” I mean that they gave him many treats that we (I am neurodivergent) have but at the same time shove in slurs and insults that are used towards people with autism, and worse of all, justify it without showing said character who are saying said ableism as wrong for saying it, but as “quirky” or “cute”. Its like making a character have tourettes just because you wanted to put sterotypes in a show against people with tourettes, except its with autism with how they called him “slow’, “smooth brain” and a “r***ard” multiple times, not “stupid”, but specifically chose slurs that are used against neurodivergent people.

They had ableism with this character MULTIPLE TIMES. This is legit discriminatory writing (I dont care who tells me “theyre in hell they bad people!” im not talking about the fictional characters, im talking about the REAL PEOPLE who wrote him to say those things to write ableism into their show, and in real life, are ok with said ableism. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have deliberately wrote terms that are used to mock those who have autism, not as a joke with a actual punchline (dark humor), but things that are done to mock people for having autism, using said character to mock people with said mental disorder (like how people use caricatures to show discriminatory messages towards their audience.) writing something like that because they just wanted to use their show to mock people for having said disorder.

I know people say “viv is racist she’s homophobic” with absolutely no evidence, and screw those people. But this is that one case wheres theres SO MANY SLURS and insults here in this show that are used against said minority group that it’s not bad representation done by accident, but borderline discrimination against those with said mental disorder on multiple occasions.

There’s a difference between writing a character that’s a jerk who’s called out on their actions or given karma for it, or says “silly” insults for a laugh, and writing certain things into the script of a show as an outlet for you, the writer, to have an excuse to show unnecessary hatred towards a minority group. Mooxie is even shown to hyperfixate and have special interests (guns, theatre, war history.) and social problems. It almost felt like they knew what they were doing, like they wanted to write him as autistic, not to represent us, but to use him as a punching bag to throw slurs and insults that are used on us into the script so they could have a place to write hatred towards people with autism and to spread said ableist messages to other people who share the same mindset.

One more thing: Before people say “But Viv has-” She has adhd, not autism. You do know that people with neurodivergence do have the ability to be ableist towards those with other disabilIties… right? Also, the person who wrote the “comedy” was Brandon Rodgers, a Youtuber who (as far as we know) is neurotypical and clearly tries very hard to be “edgy”, but as a result of said tryhard nature he tends to spread extremely toxic messages towards his audience that causes them to be ok with some of said behavior.

To the point where not long after Helluva’s Pilot was released (sorry, the screenshot was lost when my last computer had broke.) a fan called someone the r slur without hesitation, including a reference to the scene where they got the slur from, Helluva Boss. Along with another fan using it towards people who critique the show. This actually caused real life discrimination to happen. Just goes to show that yes: There is such a thing as “taking things too far” with dark humor, especially if it further causes discrimination towards a real life minority group due to it not being a joke involving them, but about how they are said group, or just for being from said group in general, which is still discrimination.

Ableism is not a joke, ableism is prejudice and causes people to get hurt emotionally, and physically no matter where its from, remember that whenever you see things like this being used against those with neurodivergency.

[asexualbookbird]

ITS BEEN A HELL OF A TWO MONTHS, YALL. Family problems, health problems, disabled problems, this summer sucks lol I read a lot this month thanks to the readathon, so I get some of the good brain juices from that little accomplishment. One month closer to my best friends wedding which I am so excited for,  discovered I like mango so long as it’s not fresh (so candied, dried, jellied), figured out the right card combo to get high scores in SIF, there were good things peppered throughout the bad. Still wish life didn’t happen so fast.

BOOKS

Year of the Reaper ⭐⭐ (May)

Salt Fat Acid Heat (May)

Summer Sons⭐⭐⭐⭐(May)

Of A Feather (May)

Beasts of Prey ⭐(June)

The Library At Mount Char  ⭐⭐ (June)

Across A Field Of Starlight ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (June)

The Deep & Dark Blue ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (June)

The Ikkesar Falcon ⭐⭐⭐ (June)

This Is How You Lose The Time War ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (June)

OTHER MEDIA

The Magnus Archives

Ringfit

Love Life School Idol Festival

Project Diva

The Adventure Zone: Ethersea

The Penumbra Podcast

Pokemon Alpha Sapphire

FOOD

grilled lamb chops (birthday dinner!)

cinnamon challah

overnight french toast (made from cinnamon challah)

chocolate chips cookies (twice, both Bad for some reason??)

chicken roast

banana bread

banana pudding

poached fish

BERRY PIE

buffalo wings

teriyaki chicken

sausage rolles

fig squares

PEACH PIE

I left non fiction books unrated because it feels weird to rate Real Things. SFAH is a very good resource, especially if you’re new to cooking. A lot of it was stuff I already new, but it had me thinking about it in different ways, which is always good. The recipes are also easy to follow and I love the pull out flavor charts.

I finished The Magnus Archives in May and I loved it so much it took everything I had not to immediately start it again. I still might though. I miss Jon and Martin and Basira and Melanie and

I listened to an entire season and then some of The Penumbra Podcast and decided it was Not For Me. It’s Fine and I see what they were going for, but I wasn’t enjoying it. Walks were no longer fun. I thought it was because I enjoyed TMA so much, I was comparing it, like when I was reading Project Hail Mary all I could think was “I’d rather be reading Murderbot”, but sometimes! That’s because the thing you’re consuming isn’t fun! And that’s okay! Also hated that it was a mostly funny and slapstick show and then they blew up a cat.

Started Alpha Sapphire, but I’m taking my time with it. Sapphire was my favorite game growing up, my best friend (WHO IS GETTING MARRIED I LOVE HER) gave it to me in sixth grade and I swear I put a good 900 hours into it AT LEAST. And then another, different also besty friend got me Alpha Sapphire for my birthday this year and I get to repeat the process. It means so much to me, my friends as always are a shining light in my life, I love yall so much.

I have stomach issues again and my mom is dealing with Gross Smells (don’t know if it’s covid related, neither of us ever tested positive), so food hasn’t been a big thing recently. The peach pie was less a pie and more a bowl of peaches with pie crust on top (can’t have a soggy bottom if you don’t have a bottom). It was still good and I still ate it all, don’t get me wrong, but it’s less fun when others can’t enjoy it with you.

July goals? I don’t know lol SIF finally closed up their anniversary events so I look forward to not playing that as often. I’d like to do some art this month since crocheting is still painful and cooking isn’t the same when it’s just me. I need a creative outlet. I need to send off a gift box and get wedding shoes (why is shoe shopping so hard), I want to read the stack of books on my desk (leftovers from the Readathon and library books and books I’m Maybe Feeling Like Reading), I’d like to do another puzzle, and since I’ve finally discovered a way that audibooks work for me, I can read AND puzzle at the same time! Life hacked!

Here’s to July, may you get your shit together.

[musings-n-memes]

Demondice: “Shut Up, Get Happy” (EP) Starters

[Content warning for mental illness and depression. Change pronouns as needed.]

wanting, getting, wanting

“What is a man to a king, and a king to a god?”

“What is a god to a devil putting up a facade?”

“I need an outlet now.”

“I gotta write this down.”

“It’s been a minute since we had a chat.”

“Success is a bitch.”

“Why complain that your luck ain’t the best, when you’re rich and you’re famous and fucking depressed?”

“Got a couple ins and outs, that don’t involve crashes.”

“Did you want fiction? Addiction? A public mental snapping?”

“You ready to rattle some bones?”

“To bad you ain’t a keeper.”

“Just pretend it’s nothing, an endless wanting, getting, wanting.”

“I’ll always be wanting, wanting more.”

“I’m still a fucking basket case.”

“I say I’ll keep on trucking, but the fact is cars don’t run in space.”

“I’m feeling angsty, and thankless, and like I fell from grace in zero gravity.”

“The crowd is waiting.”

“My internal rating is, well, kinda shady.”

“I paint a pretty little image, it looks great from a distance, blacking out the spell that gave this nobody an existence called ‘luck.’”

take the bait

“I don’t got the time, or the patience, or bank slips.”

“When you die though, it ain’t shit.”

“Would you like a crisis?”

“I am not your daughter, your wife, or your role model.”

“You ain’t my boss or my mom or my dad.”

“You gotta reassess if this shit makes you sad.”

“Why they gotta beat on us? Just ‘cause they be bored?”

“Wipe that Dorito dust off your keyboard.”

“Give it a thought or two.”

“I am as odd as you.”

“I can not deliver even half what they promise you.”

“No don’t get angry, listen that’s what they want.”

“Isn’t that how they hunt?”

“The chains of fame have my brain flying much higher than desired.”

“She’s gonna bitch and whine about being famous?”

“You do not get to turn around and deflect half where the blame is.”

“I tell myself that life is good.”

“Turn the noise down, drown it out.”

“Keep your voice down, never shout though.”

“Shut up and eat your food, girl.”

“I’m an android mumbling, got no swag.”

“Your obsession with professionalism is staggering.”

“What kind of lifestyle are you imagining?”

“What kind of stress do you think I’m managing?”

“We gotta shut the hell up, and not say a god damn word while the rest of the world gets to be heard.”

“Shit is absurd, I’m done.”

“Gotta have fun while shit’s burning.”

“Back in the day, I was like you.”

“That don’t take away a bitch’s right to complain, we straight?”

“I wanna get the fuck away now.”

“But I didn’t say that.”

“Nope, didn’t say that.”

“Tell you for the last time that I never fucking said that.”

“If this is the only time that I can snap back, Im’a cross the line.”

“Can I get an amen?”

dark hour

“I can’t relax at all these days. I haven’t for the longest time.”

“I’m paused, suspended like an apparition, without a moving on condition.”

“Don’t run away with me, I’m a lost cause.”

“Time has never really been on my side.”

“No heaven for the sins of my pride.”

“In just another moment, the dark hour beckons, and that’s just where I’ll hide.”

“Wanna be under wonder’s spell, lost in a diamond crusted realm inside of a jewelry box mind.”

“While looking straight into those eyes, can never really seem to read you.”

“I’d black out for a chance to breathe you.”

“Fame is a muzzle and I can not fight back.”

“Somehow the world is turning, the moon stays alight and the sun still burning.”

“My world’s the last thing on my mind.”

fake ass gold

“The horror stories come true, unless you got more than intent.”

“Your starting reps are poorly written.”

“The speed of the climb is keeping young minds hopeless.”

“The hard earned pennies and dimes, and nickels of ‘common sense,’ of youngin’s searching for more become a living expense.”

“The world’s a nasty place of happy faces painted on masks, and if you say it unironically, the internet laughs.”

“The straight and narrow isn’t fair though, got two lose-lose paths.”

“The method ain’t special, it’s math, you know?”

“You had your riches, then you kissed them goodbye for lies and pyrite skies.”

“Thrive, survive, you are alive.”

“Don’t let them tell you two and two makes five.”

“Why should it alarm you?”

“Suddenly karma hit me smack in the face.”

“Life never goes how you planned it.”

“I put my share of shame to rest, but I chose my own coffin.”

“I should’ve paid you what I owed you and said ‘thank you’ more often.”

“God forgive me if this shit outlives me, damn, it just might.”

“I refuse to lose my footing, we ain’t even at halftime.”

“There will be mistakes, and there will be days of sorrow.”

“There will be a tomorrow.”

“No road is loaded with silver and gold.”

“It’s just the treasure that you make for you.”

“You could fill yourself with hate or be real, be on your way.”

“Life’s tough, but love, when enough is enough, could be the treasure that you make for you.”

[thosebizzareserpents]

"I don't understand you Ms. Skeeter."

"Your previous novels, Armando Dipper: Master or Moron, The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore, the Dark side of the Demob, Snape Scoundrel or Saint, and several others I don't care to mention."

"Were allegedly profound and insightful. Bestsellers."

The woman tapped the cover of a book that appeared on the table before her.

"This however is not. Should have stuck to what you know."

"I don't know what on earth gave you such an impression that I was a pushover."

"I understand your grievances Mrs. Malfoy I-

"See that's thing, I don't think you do."

Your latest novel is not compelling whatsoever, it's not even good.

"It appears you have never experienced such an immeasurable amount of negative reviews and backlash of your works until now."

"As I have told many others it is a work of fiction Mrs. Malfoy. " The author responded tightly.

"You still don't get it Ms. Skeeter."

"I'm not even upset that you killed me off.

" It is the fact you choose to write about my child. Villify my child because of his surname. Resurrect the deceased in your writing just to villanize them."

"Write someone reliving the brutal death of their parents for shock value. Bringing back evil that terrorized so many even if it's just on paper."

"I'm here to let you know that book will be the last of your published works ever. Any future endeavours will be squashed before they even start."

" Squashed? " Rita frowned at that particular word.

"Is that threat young lady?" Are you threatening me Astoria?"

"Oh no Rita, I don't make threats." I do however make promises that I keep.

Astoria's older sister Daphne Greengrass sat beside her and traced the rim of a wine glass with her finger.

A waiter appeared and whispered something in her ear.

Daphne paused and smiled.

"We aren't the ones who requested an audience with you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me correctly."

"Rita you have been sued and disgraced. Your editor, and every major wixen reading outlet have cut ties with you."

"An anonymous person has even bought out the publishing company."

Yet you still continue with this charade.

You even ignored the cease and desist letters sent by Madam Bon Bon Lovage.

Who?

"Tsk, tsk, how rude." Astoria wagged fine manicured nail at the author. You didn't even bother to learn the Trolley Witch's name?

I'd advise you not to eat the Sugared Butterfly Wings you so love to snack on."

Rita paled and glanced down at her crocodile purse.

"You've used the surnames of actual people. I learned that's very much frowned upon in the writing world."

Unfortunately for you Ms. Skeeter. They really didn't take to kindly of their name and reputations being tossed about like a quaffle.

I took careful consideration in -

"Consideration!?"

"You must be going senile."

"Do you hear this Astoria?"

"If you had any consideration at all you wouldn't have put quill to parchment." Scoffed Daphne.

The older witch shuffled in her seat.

"I must excuse myself to the restroom."

"Is this where you plan to make your escape?" Daphne leaned forward and whispered. She still held a saccharine smile.

"Did you know that this restaurant here in particular has a no apparating policy."

Rita found she could not move from her chair. She anxiously prepped her signature curls and adjusted her jewelled glasses.

Astoria took a cool sip from her glass.

"You have been doing this for years and seemingly always gotten away unscathed. I wondered how. So I decided to do a bit of investigation of my own."

" I learned a few interesting things about you Rita."

"And a certain someone happened to drop a very juicy secret."

"Your buggy little secret." Astoria enunciated each word.

"The moment you sat down an intricately designed Blocking Charm conjured by yours truly was activated."

"Can you guess what type of magic it blocks."

The older woman placed both her hands on the table and squeezed the the tablecloth tightly.

Rita realized she could not transform into her animagus form. She shakily exhaled.

"What are your terms Mrs. Malfoy."

Astoria stared at Rita Skeeter with hard eyes.

Rita shivered. It reminded her of when she attempted to interview Susan Bones shortly after the Second Wizarding War years ago. That she narrowly escaped.

Daphne popped a strawberry in her mouth and checked her cellular device.

"You continue to villanize a house of Hogwarts, a house which you yourself are an alumnus of. It's getting quite old, no?"

As a fellow former Slytherin I know your little games and vice versa but now your in unfamiliar territory.

"As Garrick Ollivander once said The eyes and claws of an eagle a very sharp.

The chatter of the restaurant stopped, and all eyes were focused on one table. Theirs.

Rita looked around, she recognized the faces of the patrons.

Alumni of Hogwarts house Ravenclaw.

Quite a few familiar faces caught her eyes Skeeter's eye. Cho Chang and several of former members of the Ravenclaw quidditch team. Astoria was in Ravenclaw at Hogwarts. Rita pushed down a silent scream.

"This restaurant is owned by my sister's partner Terry Boot."

Terry Boot a heavy hitter in the culinary world wixen and muggle, he was also a well accomplished Metal Charmer. Another notary member of Dumbledore's Army

The sound of a chair being pulled out brought Rita out her train of thoughts.

She turned around and not only was she facing the Greengrass sisters but Padma Patil.

"Ah! Our guests have arrived" Daphne waved at the front entrance.

Astoria leaned back into the booth. "As my sister stated before it is not me who requested an audience with you."

"Not only did you choose to write about my son and others children you villified a dear relative of ours."

Resurrecting the deceased to besmearch their memory.

"It is utterly disgusting and unforgivable."

I didn't-

"Diggory."

Your main antagonist of the book of used the alias of Delphini Diggory."

"In an alternate timeline Cedric Diggory became a fucking Death Eater!" spat Daphne.

"Or did that happen to slip your mind!"

Three people approached their table.

"Ms. Skeeter allow me to introduce to you our great-grandmother Dame Kimberleigh Greengrass. Her maiden name is Diggory and these are Cedric's parents Florence and Amos Diggory."

A sudden snap of a camera brought the shocked witch out her daze.

Picture perfect." Daphne clapped. "Sending this to Orla now." I'll also forward it to the Quibbler, Witch Weekly and Daily Prophet."

The horrified look upon the journalist face would be plastered on every news outlet for months to come.

"A priceless photograph I do say so myself."

Dame Greengrass looked the author up and down. "So this is the infamous Rita Skeeter in the flesh." "A common gnat."

Amos Diggory grimaced. "As you can see I am in perfect health and in the right frame of mind."

"You on other hand, Ms. Skeeter I am not so sure."

"The absolute gall you have to use our child for your twisted entertainment."

"Have you no shame!?"

"Hope don't mind Astoria and Daphne but we invited a few more guests."

"Oh no Florence by all means the more the merrier."

Mrs. Diggory stood up and walked toward the entrance of the restaurant. She shortly returned, following behind was her late son's friends and former teammates from Hogwarts.

Astoria turned her attention back to Skeeter.

"My goodness look at the time. I failed to mention that my husband, mother-in-law and aunt-in-law will be arriving soon.

As well as the Potters, Weasleys, and Longbottoms.

"We have so much to discuss."

[wwitbeyondmeasure]

Summer At The Burrow - r.w. fan fiction

Previous Chapters

Introduction / Author’s Note / Chapter 1: The Journey to The Burrow / Chapter 2: Hidden Letters

Chapter 3: Ron’s Return

The next couple days at The Burrow were some of your favorite days ever spent. You awoke every morning to the smell of bacon and eggs cooking downstairs and spent the majority of your days around magic. Every afternoon, you and Ginny would get together and complete your school work together, just like you used to at Hogwarts. It was a bit more difficult to stay focused without Hermione around, you and Ginny kept getting sidetracked with talk about Quidditch, but you managed to get some work done.

After your dinner in the garden, you spent the rest of your afternoon in the living room talking with Mr Weasley. He was fascinated by muggles and you were more than happy to indulge him and answer all of his questions. You explained the difference between a light switch and an outlet, and even told him about how your television works.

Whenever you were in the living room, you felt your gaze wonder to the clock hanging on the wall. Ron's hand was still pointing towards "Diagon Alley" and you were starting to wonder why he was shopping for so long.

Pushing the thought out of your mind, you directed your attention back to Mr Weasley.

"Do you have any muggle pets, y/n? What are they like?" He asked. You smiled as you saw the pencil next to him jotting down notes onto a pad of paper. Mr Weasley treated your conversations like an interview, wanting to remember everything you said. He was a sweet man, as all of the Weasleys were, so you didn't mind spending hours chatting with him.

"I guess the pets are sort of the same in the muggle world and wizarding world. I had a couple of goldfish when I was younger but I kept overfeeding them so my parents gave them away. Then I had a dog named Benji, but he now lives with my cousins because my family travels so much. And then my last pet was Celeste, but she died last spring," you told him.

The thought of Celeste made your good spirits sink a little. You had first met your snowy white cat in Diagon Alley when you were shopping for your first year at Hogwarts. It was difficult to navigate the streets of the busy wizarding shopping centre with two muggle parents, but they were kind enough to offer to buy you a pet for school.

Celeste had been the best pet you'd ever had. Unlike your boring goldfish, she was rather affectionate and could understand you well. She would cuddle onto your lap while you studied and bite at the ankles of classmates you didn't like. While at Hogwarts, she reminded you of home, and while back in London, she reminded you of your magical school.

Sadly, you hadn't realized that when you bought her in first year, she was already pretty old. Last year at school she started limping and moving slower than usual. Within a couple of months, she had passed away. It still made you sad to think about so you brought your attention back to Mr Weasley.

"So yeah, I suppose most of the pets are pretty similar. Except, muggles normally don't keep rats as pets," you explained with a laugh. Mr Weasley smiled, thanked you for talking with him, and then excused himself to finish up some work in the shed outside.

You hadn't realized how long you were talking because when you looked outside, it was already dark.  Your eyes found their way to the clock again, forgetting it didn't actually tell the time, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw Ron's hand was now pointing at "home."

Standing up quickly, you brushed down your hair frantically, though you weren't sure why. Ron had seen you at your worst, messy and covered in mud after many Quidditch matches, so you didn't really have a reason to try to straighten your appearance out now. You sighed to yourself, your crush on him was really starting to make your head spin.

Just then, you heard the backdoor close behind you and you turned around. Standing there, clad in a familiar maroon jumper, was Ron. He looked slightly older than the last time you saw him when leaving Platform 9 and 3/4, but that was only a few weeks ago. When your eyes met each others, his face broke out into a wide grin, and he took three long strides towards you before wrapping you into a tight hug.

"Y/n! I'm so glad you're here," he said through the hug. You wrapped your arms around his torso, and let yourself be engulfed in his embrace. He was much taller than you so your face was buried in his shoulder. He smelled like cinnamon and apples, just the same as his room.

"Thanks for letting me stay. I think I would've gone mad being cooped up in my empty house all summer," you said once he let go of the hug.

"I think you're already a bit mad for agreeing to spend the next few months with my hectic family, but whatever suits you," he said, nudging your side.

You smiled as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and walked you outside.

"Where is everyone? I thought I would make it back in time for dinner," he asked, a slight frown on his face when he saw the empty tables outside. You couldn't blame him, his mom's cooking was so good that you would be disappointed to miss it too.

"Won Won!" Two voices in unison came from above you. Looking up, you saw Fred and George leaning their heads out of their bedroom window, sly grins on their faces. Ron's arm slowly slipped from your shoulder and you felt your smile falter.

"Come on up here, we've got a surprise for you two lovebirds," George said with a wink. The twins had taken to calling you that two years ago when they decided to forever torment you about your love life. Much to Ron's ex-girlfriend Lavender's dismay, they continued calling you that even when he was dating someone. You were comforted to see that Ron's cheeks were tinted the same color as his hair at the mention of the nickname.

As you walked up the countless stairs to the twin's room, you and Ron caught up with one another. It was easy to feel relaxed with him and soon the awkwardness from outside seemed to disappear. You were back to being best friends again, and nothing could make you happier. Well, maybe you'd be happier if he was more than your best friend...

Not bothering to knock once you reached the landing with the twin's door, Ron pushed the door open. That probably wasn't the smartest idea because he was immediately hit in the face with a jet of purple sparks.

"Ow," he said, his voice nasally as he held the bridge of his nose where the sparks had hit him.

"Sorry, mate. Better knock next time. We'd never barge into your room without warning," George said as he pulled both of you into the room and closed the door.

"Yeah, you could have a pretty lady in there, we wouldn't want to interrupt," Fred continued, winking at you.

You swatted his shoulder as you stalked past them, towards the pile of what looked like fireworks in the corner of their room.

"Is this what you wanted to show us? Fireworks?" You asked.

The twins then launched into a detailed story of how these weren't just any fireworks. They told you about how they bought them off a wizard in a pub and how they were special for Percy's birthday in August.

"Special how?" you asked suspiciously. It was common for the twins to poke fun at their prim and uptight brother, but you were sure they wouldn't do anything too drastic.

"That's a surprise that you will see on August 22nd. We are throwing him a birthday party, even inviting his girlfriend, so it will be the perfect place to showcase the fireworks," George explained.

"Then why call us up here if you aren't even going to tell us what they bloody do?" Ron asked with an annoyed voice, still nursing his bruised nose.

The twins turned to him quickly, "We wanted to talk to y/n. Now please get out." They ushered him to the door, with annoyed protest from Ron.

"Come on! I just got to see y/n!" He complained, as they promptly shut the door in his face.

"You'll see her tomorrow!" Fred yelled, "Also, y/n has been staying in your room so you have to sleep on the couch downstairs. Goodnight Won Won!"

The sound of Ron's disgruntled steps retreating to the bottom floor of the house filled your ears.

"What is it?" you asked the twins impatiently, your bad temper reflecting Ron's.

"Have you told him yet?" George asked. "You know, about your massive heart-wrenching crush on him?"

You glared at them as you sat on the windowsill. "No, and maybe I would've if two hooligans such as yourselves weren't shouting at us out of the window!"

The twins nodded, "Fair enough," they said together.

"Just make sure you tell him before Percy's birthday party, eh?" George said, his voice sounding guilty.

"Why?" you asked, your suspicion about the fireworks returning.

"No reason at all," he replied curtly. Then they quickly started shoving you out of the room.

"Sweet dreams!" They said together, before shutting the door in your face. You pressed your ear to the wood, hearing low whispers exchanged between them but you couldn't make any of their words out.

Sighing with annoyance, you walked up the stairs to Ron's room. You felt slightly guilty for staying in his room while he slept in the couch downstairs, but he did arrive late at night so you didn't really have time to discuss sleeping arrangements.

Once you arrived at his room, you closed the door and flopped down on the bed. You were exhausted from the day, and as you changed into pajamas and crawled under the covers, your mind drifted once again to the box of letters under the nightstand. Should you ask Ron about the letters? Or would he get mad that you were snooping in his room? Deciding to leave this dilemma for tomorrow, you shut your eyes and tried to get some sleep.

[fandomplethora]

so, i have seen something going around the mystic messenger fandom...and i would like to just share my thoughts on it. 

i would like to quickly add that this is just my opinion on it and my perspective. i also am not sure if this has been confirmed or not - but, either way, my personal thoughts mostly stay the same. 

in my eyes, it is no small thing what’s going around...whether this is a fictional story or not.

tw: heavy mentions of suicide and mental health. major spoilers ahead. 

i have had several discussions based on this going around. i have also seen it on instagram, heard it is going around on twitter and have seen it on tiktok.

i think, to go so far as to put something like that on another character is a bit much...even in a fictional game. it could, potentially, mess up a lot of people’s mindsets playing. i do not think it is a fair perspective on players or what this game is even about. it could also be possibly triggering to players. yoosung is depressed. he lost someone really close to him, that gave him motivation/inspiration. and his grades started slipping, he lost his drive and he just distracted himself with lolol without taking care of himself. and if we really look at it...no character takes care of themselves here. zen doesn’t eat properly...a diet of salad and beer, long hours. he sometimes smokes. jaehee works long hours without getting proper rest or meals - relies strictly on caffeine to keep going. jumin says he takes of himself but it is canon that people have seen him take multiple espresso shots to get going in the day at once. not to mention how he turns to drinking in different points of any route and his sleep schedule is crazy. saeyoung hardly sleeps either; just eats junk food, or mostly chips and soda, and struggles to take care of himself. jihyun is also not taking care of himself, including not receiving needed medical care, as he tries to solve everything going on in the background. saeran isn’t able to take care of himself either when you get to his route due to his situation, including further poisoning his body with the elixir. vanderwood is even in a similar position as saeyoung but, perhaps, dealing in different ways we have not seen much of yet.

so much of this can be attributed to, again, the stress every member is under due to their jobs, student life and situation. so much is attributed to their trauma, mental state, mental health... and so much we find out about in every route. it is also based around their relationships, families and secrets we uncover.

and, coming back to yoosung...i will say that, heartbreakingly, suicidal ideation may happen. and connecting it to the other members once more; there is a moment in jaehee’s route where jumin purposefully, while under the influence, endangers his own life. saeyoung is also severely depressed and “jokes” about his will to live at different points...and in jihyun’s after ending, when he believes his brother has passed, he no longer wants to live and has to be stopped by jumin and vanderwood. jihyun himself is so self-sacrificial...he is willing to risk his own life in order to protect others and to even prove his “love” to rika. and saeran does attempt suicide at the end of jihyun’s route after giving a farewell call to mc...and then has to be saved by jihyun who thanks god for him being alive. and, even before that, expresses (similarly to saeyoung) his lack of care for his own life. and mina (rika) is also shown to idealize self-harm and, perhaps, even suicide as well. 

...and then looping back to yoosung, i do think he is a character who needs help (much like everyone else in the game) and he does need to be acknowledged about this and for his struggles. his mental health, stress as a student, lack of motivation due to all of these facts and reeling from the “death” (another apparent suicide) of a family member close to him. again, i believe there may even be moments from yoosung about his own suicidal thoughts (i’m not denying this fact)...things said in passing based in moments of high emotion and severe depression. 

suicide, mental health/illness, including (in some contexts) suicidal ideation are all, heartbreakingly, major themes and subjects in mystic messenger. 

but, also, i have to add...that to say that someone would have committed suicide without another certain character...is detrimental to some of the positive themes shown in this story. themes of recovery, forgiveness and self-love. of showing actually getting better, healthier coping mechanisms and forming strong bonds with healthy relationships. 

perhaps, this theory (or fact, if it has been confirmed, i have not seen such confirmation yet though)...is saying, more in the sense, that without intervention for yoosung (and any member) these unhealthy coping mechanisms and pain they were going through would not have been properly acknowledged. it is a major part of the whole storyline to acknowledge their feelings and help them through that...to highlight the importance of that. (and not doing so, or encouraging further toxic behaviors, is what leads to the bad endings...this is not hating on completing bad endings or saying you shouldn’t do so - but that is what those can represent. and why only the good endings are considered canon.) 

but i fear that if anyone were to take the stance of “_____ would have killed themselves if _____ was not there” is almost along the lines of “i would no longer want to live if you were not here” or “i would k*ll myself if you were gone”...both of these mindsets are not okay, severely toxic and painful. and, in terms of forming healthy and strong bonds like these characters should (and eventually do)...it ruins the theme of that. the lesson in that.  

my point is; it is all about perspective and showing the deeper context of such a statement. and to please, please be careful when sharing such a statement or reading it.   every character in this story is not in a good place at all when you/mc/hana enter the picture. and, sure, it can be said that mc gives them that boost of energy (brings the spring breeze again, so to speak)...but, really, they just encourage them to do it themselves and talk to each other. while i love the hc where we can have a more active part in helping everyone - to say mc (or hana) does nothing as it is now is not true. 

they holds their hands, they are kind and they listen. they encourage them to take care of themselves and is just there through it. and when helping someone going through something - that’s what it’s really about. (there is no english translation for the webtoon yet so this part is just based on me skimming the chapters as they are released.) but hana seems to also be kind, encouraging and gives them that kick again. everyone in the rfa truly does care about each other and, sure, they needed someone to remind them again. but i genuinely think to take that dark of a possible “what if” is not fair to the story at all or the characters.

things like this never take just one person or are on one person’s back. it’s everyone involved - it’s a support system. that is just what the rfa needed to see more clearly. (even before mc came in and helped...it’s still said that, while the rfa were worried and didn’t know where to go from where they were...they still did use the chatroom as an outlet to talk to each other. so, they were getting there. could things have gotten more complicated if mc hadn’t come? yes...again, they changed the course tremendously. but for things to go that far is just...not true to me.) 

(side note: the only thing that makes me sad is how someone could be potentially left out when you’re on another route. it’s why i wish for a final route where you can help everyone. and/or what i’m wishing for the webtoon to be.) 

but each route gets to show the possibility of hope and recovery for every single character in this game - and how that strength and care and love was in them all along.  again, i have no idea about anything like that being confirmed or not. mental health is a HUGE theme in mystic messenger as a whole - but i take the perspective of what i said more when thinking about it either way. (along with some other things that I’ve posted about on tumblr before.) anyways, in your life, reach out for help if you need it. there is hope..support each other and you can find strength within yourself again. & in my opinion, when playing the game (or now reading the webtoon), that’s something it teaches and shows as well.

edit: this is not a “this is right and this is wrong” post. things are never black and white - mental health and recovery is never linear. i just want to add that in case anything here came across as preachy or like i was trying to sound...well, lecturing even. i am not a professional by any means and am just someone who also struggles with their own mental health. so, i hope nothing in this post came across as offensive, hurtful or insensitive.

[helpful-hierophant]

Pagan Religion in Media

@phemonoi​​ wanted to discuss:

I would like to discuss our exposure in media and pagan integration to society. To be more concise, I would like people to know we exist.

***(key points if you have no spoons to read it all are in bold!)*** 

This topic has been discussed many times among almost all pagan groups. One way or another we have all been portrayed in films or movies or books. But while trying not to repeat many conversations before mine, I also want to go into how it is GOOD that we are in the media, and why it is BAD.

Almost always the portrayal has been either completely disrespectful, or using our gods or stories as dark villains or just completely false. We see this in examples such as Supernatural; with many Native American figures being used as monsters; Marvel using Norse gods like Loki, Thor, Hela, etc.. We also know that Marvel will be bringing Hercules into the MCU very soon as well  (forgive me my true love in life is Marvel and I recognize the hypocrisy. Ultimately I want to see change in the media when talking about pagan faith not just complaining about these media). But to bring the conversation to the Hellenic side of portrayals, i think we all know of the Percy Jackson series and Heroes of Olympus or Wonder Woman and the….far more disgusting media that's popular right now I will not name. 

The biggest issue with all of these are the exact same, and ties into the second part of the discussion of pagan integration into society. Christianity has fought and enforced the pressure and  normality of our society on their terms. being pagan, you see it more than a christian or even an atheist would, as the damage done to pagan history and culture is completely different to that of atheism. Since the crusades the church has basically forced subconscious actions into our society top to bottom. And when you point out these things, people scoff and say you're reading into it, or there's nothing that bad about it and you shouldn't be so sensitive. This attitude is aimed towards minority religions, because we as religions aren't taken seriously. Think of why it's even called MYTHology. It’s to enforce the idea that our stories and faith aren’t anything more than just make believe. You don’t call it Bible myths do you? Or Christian mythology. No, you call it stories. Even our vocabulary and language is formed around what the church has formulated over centuries of control. Let me be clear that I love and support Christianity as a faith, but things like this can not go under the rug and by not talking about it; avoiding this and other history of the church is to let it go without correction, especially because it is within the subconscious of society. 

So what the hell does this have to do with my movies and books? Well, with this mindset, that these gods are simply fictional characters, content creators aren't thinking about it being disrespectful at all. And even ones that have been forced to acknowledge us, oftentimes won't change the behavior just because ‘well i'm just using them for entertainment not the actual gods.’ you're forcing lions into a circus and you're not the ringleader, you're a clown. Straight out. I think it’s very different when we as Hellenics make our own content vs. other people. This is not including artists, as artwork is mostly alright! When media goes over the line is taking our gods and using them as a black and white villain, or creating a ‘personality’ and treating them as dumb, just a plot point, mindless, stupid, etc. The issue is HOW you portray the gods, not the inclusion of the gods.

 As this pushes others to believe in this narrative and also pushes the fiction belief of these gods. One could argue that even the stories we have of ancient times was like the fanfics of the ancient Greeks about the gods, as most of the myths are not actually what happened, aside from translation issues. 

So to change the direction of this post with that last bit being said; I mentioned above how it could also be GOOD. Now after that speech of how terrible it is, how can I give you a reason it could be good also? Well there's only one reason that I can find in it all that I can say is good. I always think something good can come from anything, even if you can’t see it in the moment. I think pagan religions being used in the media help the community by helping others find their way to pagan religions. I know a lot of gate-keeping elitists get all huffy if anyone dares finds the religion through such a source. I can promise you so many Hellenics can testify that they found the religion through talking to people about the books or maybe they just really like it and look into Greek stories more and are like ‘wow!! I really connect with this!” I think the big issue these gatekeepers have with people who are exposed to the religion this way is they think that these people take the media as truth, thinking that just because you were exposed to the faith through media, that you haven’t done any research and that all your knowledge of the gods is from a fandom. How sad to think they think so little of their fellow Hellenics. I have met many people who have found Hellenism through fandom outlets and are diligent in their studies. The media, for a pagan heart, is nothing more than a door to the faith, it is not the box anyone serious about the religion is taking as real information. But the treatment of people coming in this way is not only terrible but damages their connection to the Hellenic community and ultimately their feelings of being comfortable reaching out for assistance in learning how to practice. The issue is non Hellenics taking this as fact, and certain media with the gods that are not at all okay, and vile treatment of the gods. 

I think I will make a part two to cover the pagan integration, as that in itself is quite the box. This was just my thoughts typed out as I thought them. I am in no way a perfect source, this is simply from the perspective of someone who's been a hellenic for 3 years and loves discussing topics with others to grow! I hope this gave some insight and, to remind everyone, this is an open discussion! Not a debate thread or discourse invitation. For the sake of everyone being comfortable please refrain from naming L**e Olympus as it is very triggering for most Hellenics and I avoid saying its name when I can. We are here to grow and who knows, maybe my mind will be changed by one of your thoughts! Let me know, hail the gods!

[go-ldy]

I don’t get why Barchie fans cite Jughead’s (fictional) story as evidence that the Bughead relationship isn’t healthy. It’s fiction. Jughead never claimed that “Killing Mr. Honey” was autobiographical. Betty clearly wasn’t offended by it because again, it was fiction. He probably gave her the role of the “psychopath” in the story because she was the one who joked around about killing Honey, thus giving him the idea.

I get why they cite the story, I just completely disagree with the basis for the argument? To me, Jughead’s story and portrayal of Betty in it shows just how well he knows her. She made the comment about killing Mr. Honey in jest because she was frustrated about what happened with the Yearbook, and Jughead gave her an outlet for those feelings in his fictional story. In that universe, he and Betty got to be the ringleaders and drivers of Mr. Honey’s kidnapping and then cover up of his murder. 

As a viewer and a Bughead shipper, I loved every moment of it! Watching alt!Betty/Jughead as darker versions of themselves willing to kill their friends to keep Mr. Honey’s death secret was delightful. And Betty herself seemed to enjoy the story tremendously given that her reaction was not “why did you write me as a murderous sociopath, Jughead” but “BEST STORY EVER, JUGHEAD!!!”

like, these two are perfect for each other lol. I think Betty and Jughead are both good people with good intentions, but they are so loving and accepting of each other’s “darkness” and flaws. Who would not want someone who loved and accepted you that much? I think it’s beautiful he gave her that outlet but, you know, not everyone has to agree with me on that and that’s fine.