#day 3 of sertraline

[thelonelynindroid]

I would like to thank Brad Bakshi for inadvertently making me get medicated after 18 years of mental illness

[mmyneonlights]

how do other people get thru life without half a dozen substances/mildly harmful behaviors to keep their brains stable

[elexaria]

Hello :))))👋 just finished reading poly!ghoap angst and I had this idea...

Reader is always a happy person, she can laugh at anything but they just don't know her fake mask. Reader is a person who is mentally damaged and longs for affection because of her past (I still haven't thought about it), so the reader always takes a medicine called Happy Pill to feel happy (I think came up with this idea while reading your poly!ghoap angst and listening to the song Happy Pill.)

If you don't feel comfortable writing this, that's okay, I'm just sharing my ideas with you. I just love your poly!ghoap x reader angst. (And English is not my first language so I have to use google translate🥲 )

no worries! and thank you for the ask <3 it’s funny because i got sent this the same day i had to go pick up my anti depressants prescription after not taking them for almost a week ^^” so definitely relate to the happy pills LOL

you’ve always struggled with your mental health, it’s just something that comes with chronic depression. but it’s practically quadrupled in intensity since moving in with simon and johnny, especially since simon has it out for you. johnny only realises you have depression when you both run to the pharmacy to pick up johnny’s adhd medication, and you ask about the costs for having your sertraline being delivered to the apartment. his ears perk up, but he doesn’t say anything until you’re on the walk back home.

“sertraline, eh?” he says, his stocky hand wrapped around yours, swinging your arm gently as you two walk. you nod, biting the inside of your lip as you look away. “i, uh.. yeah. call ‘em my happy pills.” you jokingly say, eliciting a small squeeze to your hand from johnny. “i had no idea ye were takin’ em, lass. reckon i should remind ye that am always gonnae be here for ye, no matter what.” he replies, thick eyebrows raised as he beams over at you. this man will be the death of you.

when you head to your friend’s hen do, leaving simon and johnny to their own devices for the evening, johnny nuzzles up close to simon on the sofa as they watch a documentary. “did ya know that _____ takes antidepressants?” johnny says, glancing up at simon with raised eyebrows. simon just shrugs, not even bothering to tear his eyes from the telly. “none of my business.” simon gruffly replies, his bulky arm still wrapped around johnny’s shoulders. johnny hums in agreement, before the conversation dissipates.

simon doesn’t like you. he still doesn’t like you. but he’s not an idiot, he’s seen your dosage increase from 5mg to almost 40mg since you’ve moved in with them. he can’t help but feel particularly guilty about this, knowing he’s at least some what responsible for how your dosage has skyrocketed. perhaps he’ll lay off being a bastard to you for a couple of days.

[phemiec]

Hi! You are totally free to ignore this but I just wanted to say something re: your sertraline because you said something along the lines of "fuck my chemicals" when you didnt have your sertraline for 3 days.

Sertraline is notorious for, like, BRUTAL withdrawals. I was scared of "my chemicals" for a long time bc I thought the sertraline withdrawals WERE my chemicals. That wasn't the case at all

This isn't to disparage or insult you, and I hope it doesn't come across that way. I just see a lot of people not realize how bad sertraline withdrawals are and panic because they think how they feel 2-3 days without meds is who they are as a person. S'just the withdrawals.

(Also for future reference, if you ever wean off sertraline with a doctor, the withdrawals last 30-60 days. I see a lot of ppl panic about that too, including myself.)

No that’s a good point thank you for the message, the withdrawals are brutal and I’m sure that’s what this is. My chemicals before sertraline sucked too I have panic disorder but you’re right ♥️ got my meds and I’m back on them tonight so 🤞

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- Doctors Orders

2013

Part 27

Trigger warning- talks about anxiety and feeling low. Reader is put on antidepressants

“So what the doctor say?” Harry asks as I place my bag down on the island in our kitchen. Cookie runs over to me and I pick her up cuddling her

“I’ve been put on Sertraline, it’s an antidepressant. He said I might have a few side effects from it like feeling sick so I’ve also been given antisickness tablets as well” I sigh walking into the living room. Since loosing Alex I’ve felt extremely low, and panicky whenever I’m in a car. Louis rang an ambulance a few days ago because I had a huge panic attack “he also suggested I talk to someone about what happened”

“Like a therapist?” Harry asks sitting next to me

“Yeah” I nod my head and sit down with Cookie on my lap “I’m dreading telling management”

“It’s nothing to do with them. It’s your business and no one else’s” Louis says

“It’ll be bad publicity if it comes out that a one direction singer has panic attacks. What if I end up having one on stage?” I asks nervously

“Then we will be all there to help” Louis replies

“Yeah. We can get you off stage and help you. Everything’s going to be alright. Come’ere” Harry pulls me into his arms and hugs me

“How about we watch a film? I bought popcorn yesterday”

“What kind?” I ask lifting my head up a little

“Sweet and salty” I give Louis a small smile and let him walk into the kitchen to make the popcorn.

“Where is she?” I hear Zayn ask walking through the hallway of my shared place with Louis and Harry

“In bed. The antisickness hasn’t helped all that much” Louis responds. There’s a knock on the door and in walks my best friends

“Hey how do you feel?” Liam asks

“Like shit. Got a headache, tired and feel so sick it’s unbelievable. Not eaten in 2 days”

“How long will the side effects last for?” Niall asks. I give him a little shrug

“Between a week and 3 weeks”

“Do you think you’ll be ok to come to the Brit awards?”

“I hope so” I reply to Zayn. The front door opened then shuts. Cookie then runs into my room and jumps onto the bed and snuggles into me. Smiling I stroke her fur “did you have a good walk with Harry?” Not expecting a response off my dog I look up to the door where Harry stands

“She was a good girl like always. Although Mr Henderson is missing you” Harry mentions the elderly man we see most days on our walk. I giggle a little looking back at cookie “he asked me to give you these get well soon cupcakes” Harry places some cakes on my bedside table

“Ooo got an admire YN?” Liam wiggles his eyebrows making me laugh more

“I might have to start taking Cookie out if it gets me cupcakes” Niall says sitting on the end of my bed

“So what’s the plan for today?” Liam asks also sitting on my bed. Harry picks up my remote control for my TV and turns it on

“What are you doing?” I ask frowning

“Having a movie day what do you think?” Louis replies

“We won’t all fit on the bed” I say

“M’ gonna get the beanbags”

2 days until the Brit awards and I still feel ill, thankfully not as bad as when I started on Sertraline. Now I’m just exhausted no matter how much I sleep and my head feels like a hammer is constantly being hit inside my skull. My nausea has mostly gone except if I take my tablet before food. I’m currently in my dress fitting for the award show. It’s a strapless white dress with blue flower pints on it which will be pared with nude heals

“What do you think?” Charlotte my stylist says

“I love it thank you so much Char”

“Your very welcome”

“Knock knock” I hear my dad say before opening my bedroom door with his hand over his eyes

“I’m dressed it’s fine” he takes his hand away from his eyes and looks at me in a state of shock “what? Don’t you like it?”

“That’s not it. It’s just you look so much like your mum. She’d be so proud of you”

“Thanks dad”

“You feel up to the awards show, because if not the boys will understand”

“No I’m fine don’t worry”

“I do worry, I’m your dad that’s my job”

“The doctors gave me some new antisickness tablets. They’re stronger and they’ve been working. I’ll just take some paracetamol and Emma said she will come collect me after the awards show and bring me home while the boys go out”

“As long as your sure. Your health is more important than any award”

“I know. Promise I’m ok”

[tradflowr]

I’m addicted to SSRI’s.

I know. Gasp. Well, here’s the story.

When I was 13, I was sent to a counsellor by the headmaster at my school. He reported that I had low mood, was overly anxious, and was displaying symptoms of OCD.

I was a 13 year old going through puberty. I was a 13 year old girl who had been forced into the ‘top set’ at school and therefore was continuously held to an impossibly high-standard. I was a 13 year old girl.

The counsellor then referred me to my general practitioner, who in turn prescribed me a medication called Sertraline, and another called Propranolol.

My parents were convinced that it would be the best thing for me. I was just confused and annoyed that I now had to wake up an hour earlier than usual before school to eat breakfast, a meal that I usually skipped.

I will never forget the first week. I was a zombie. I felt no emotion; not hunger or thirst or sadness or happiness. I was constantly dizzy. I had headaches 24/7. I slept for 16-20 hours per day and was still tired whenever I woke up.

After three weeks of symptoms, I became ‘normal’ again. Not better than I was before starting the medication, but better than I was in the first 3 weeks of taking it.

I’m now old enough to realise that the medication that made me feel so terrible was the very same one that was later praised for making me feel so much ‘better’.

I’m now 20 years old.

I have been on a continuous prescription of SSRI’s since I was 13. And thanks to the doctor who has pressured me for so long to stay on them, I’m terrified to give them up.

Tomorrow I start the gradual withdrawal process. I’ve found a new doctor who understands why I don’t want to be medicated anymore and supports my decision wholeheartedly.

I know that God will be on my side through this.

Pray for me.

Thanks for reading. If anybody can relate to being forced onto prescription medication at a young age, I’m sorry. God bless you ✝️💖

[socially-awkward-skeleton]

Chapter 12

Summary: Rory finds out about Price's plan to attack Barkov's gas plant, and joins the militia in Eastern Georgia

Warnings/Tags: Minors DNI - swearing, smoking, character with trauma, angsty thoughts

Pairing: Captain John Price x Fem!OC (3rd person POV)

Word count: 3.5K

A/N: This was meant to be one long chapter including the big battle, however the fight scene is taking me longer to write than I thought so I've decided to break it into two so I can start right into the action next chapter. Also, only 3 chapters left to go after this one

[AO3]

November 2, 2019 06:00 - FOS Poznan, Poland

Rory rubbed at her eyes, yawning as she stretched out her stiff back, the dull ache acting as her alarm clock every morning, the reminder to take her Tylenol and Sertraline. Her hands kneaded slowly down the flesh, easing the muscles below as she sat on the edge of her hard-as-concrete cot.  Hands on her knees, she pushed herself up onto her feet and tidied her bed, redressing it and tucking in the corners, appearing as though no one had used it at all. Still got it, she thought before huffing as she glanced at the ridge in the blanket and swept her hand over top, flattening it out again. She could practically hear Price’s mocking chuff in her ear at her perfectionism. Oh, God… 

Kate would be back by now from the visit with the Captain after taking Hadir into custody. She winced at the thought of how that situation might have gone down. It would explain the silence though. Checking her phone, there were no texts, no missed calls. When she finally did see Price again there would be hell to pay – she was sure of it. Mentally preparing herself for having a strip torn off her up one side and down the other. Insubordination. Refusal to follow direct orders from her superior.

One incredibly stubborn bastard of a boyfriend who had a memory like a steel trap and wouldn’t let her live it down for the rest of her life. Glimmering blue eyes that would observe her with the question lingering in the back of his head if she was really able to keep up with him, and if he wasn’t just better off on his own. Fuck.

She pinched at the pounding point between her eyes and grabbed her prescription bottles from her bag, cracking open the child-proof lids and shaking the required dose into the palm of her hand, rolling the pills around with her thumb before tossing them into her mouth. The bitter, chalky taste was a recurring flavor on her tongue that signaled the start to another new day. With a crack of her neck from side-to-side – the crunch traveling all the way down her spine – and a stretch of her previously dislocated shoulder, she changed into her uniform and breathed a heavy sigh before willing herself to smile (more an awkward smirk, but it was the best she was going to get at this time of the morning) and headed back to the private space her and Laswell had been afforded on base. The automatic door lock clicked open with her keycard, and Rory was surprised to find Laswell already there, at her desk, like she had never left at all. The smell of burnt, cheap coffee filling the enclosed space. “Christ, you’re still at it?” She closed the door behind her, forcing the hydraulic door to shut with a hiss. “Did you get any sleep at all?” Concern marked her features, digging little lines in between her brows – she was sure she would end up with more wrinkles than John at this rate.

“Catnap,” Kate said with a shrug, taking a sip from her mug. “In between waiting on word that tensions with Russia had cooled after the prisoner handoff.” She hummed and leaned against the desk, crossing her arms over her chest. “Sent him off to the Gulag already, eh?”

“Something like that.” Laswell’s hand moved to rest over her phone, shifting it slightly with her thumb. “The Captain finally got in contact.”

Just not with her.

“Did he now?” Her tone was far cooler than she had intended, flexing her jaw as soon as the sound hit her ears, cognizant of the fact Kate certainly heard it as well.  

“Went back to Urzikstan. Has a plan to take down Barkov and the gas plant. Apparently, that’s what Hadir had been aiming to do all along.” “Bloody hell,” she groaned out, raising her brows. She could already deduce the level of difficulty to be expected for such a mission to succeed. “That’s a bit of a longshot, even for John.”

“He’s managed to swing Farah to his cause.” At this point the revelation of what Price was capable of planning shouldn’t have surprised her at all. Brighter than the devil, and twice the schemer. He was never above playing chess with the fate of the world and using every pawn at his disposal. John was that kid on the playground who with every game went and made up his own rules as he went along, all in an effort to maintain the status quo. Defeat was an impossibility, he always had to win. 

He was a bloody sore loser, too. Rory scoffed bitterly, placing her hands on her hips as she sucked her teeth. His plan’s concept unfolding in her head, she could see it clear as day. “For an attack he can blame on AQ.” She shook her head, laughing, pacing slightly. “Fucking hell… that man…” It was as impressive as it was maddening, gaining an understanding into John’s mind. Digging around in there was damn near perilous, and the more caves she explored in her attempts to learn how he thought the more dark corners she found.

Laswell confirmed her suspicions with a nod. “If Barkov is handled it takes the pressure off Urzikstan. We take him out, things settle. At least in theory,” she said with a sigh. “AQ will still remain a problem, but without proper leadership they’ll be weaker, more scattered.”

“Backs to the wall. That makes them more dangerous.”

“More willing to strike,” Kate corrected her. “Which brings them out of hiding. Which gives us more opportunities to take them out before that happens.” “Which means intelligence will be more necessary than ever.” Rory rolled her eyes and smirked. “You’re going to have my hands full at SRR.” “Welcome to my life, Sinclair.”

She huffed out a quiet chuckle, rubbing at her brow. “Right. Well, where is said gas plant?”

“Eastern Georgia.” “Suppose I better go pack then.”

November 2, 2019 13:56 - Outskirts Militia Camp, Eastern Georgia

Dense forest surrounded her as boots crunched over fallen acorns and twigs. Mountain pines, oak, and beech all standing sturdy as the sharp winds of the Caucasus blew and Rory carefully treaded through the cover of foliage towards the coordinates she’d received for the meetup to make her way to the militia camp. 

Breaking through the treeline, she stopped her forward march and glanced around the clearing, checking for enemies, ensuring this wasn’t a trap. In the distance, she noticed the glint of light off what she assumed was the scope of a sniper rifle. Slipping her two fingers in between her lips, she whistled loud and bright, enough to carry across and alert the scout of her presence – friend, not foe.

Radio crackling, a friendly voice came through the line, “Sinclair, good to see ya again.”

She held her radio, pressing to talk and a little smirk quirked the corner of her lips, surprised by the one given tourist guide duty. “Keller? So you're my welcome party, eh?”

“Hoping for somebody else?”

“You'll do just fine,” she said with a shrug. In the safety of a known ally’s company, they both stepped out of cover from the trees with their weapons stashed. 

Keller met her with a firm, steady handshake. “Seems you and I are the two assigned crackshots.” He nodded his head in the direction of the encampment to have her follow. “Plan had you on standby, last I heard. The Captain wasn't sure you were coming.” 

“I always intended to see this mission through, come hell or high water.” She cleared her throat and began following him along the trail through the forest. “Some lines got crossed is all.”

“Does tend to happen. Know that all too well myself.” A gentle half grin curled the edge of his golden mustache. 

Rory adjusted the bag on her shoulder, shifting the weight. “How goes your new found freedom?”

“Not exactly free when I’m still out there fighting, but at least I know what I’m fighting for.”

Her instincts certainly weren’t wrong about him. How the hell a man like Alex got caught up with the CIA she’d never know – he was too good for it. “Have a good commander looking out for you too.”

His golden boy smile appeared as he tipped his head almost bashfully. “Farah is… impressive.”

“She is,” she agreed with a soft hum. “Very impressive if she won your loyalty that quickly.”

The trek continued through the woods, down a rocky slope, until they came upon another hidden clearing several klicks away where a makeshift camp had been set up – the staging area for the militia’s invasion. Hidden by the canopy of trees above, aerial surveillance wouldn’t be able to catch them in the wilds. 

“Hope you like camping,” Keller said with a little shrug. 

She huffed out a quiet laugh. “I’m a sniper, camping’s what I do best.”

He chuckled along with her and led her towards the command tent where Price and Farah were still designating roles and positions. Standing at the opening of the flaps to the canvas tent, Alex waited for a break in the discussions between the two leaders. When it finally arrived, he spoke up, grabbing their attention. “Captain. Commander. Guess who just showed up?” 

Pulling the flap further back, Rory stood there feeling like the new kid on their first day at school, all eyes on her. The awkward little half-smirk she wore was the absolute worst cover for the trepidation she felt at the prospect of taking orders from the man she’d left high and dry days ago, telling him to ‘fuck off’ in the most passive aggressive way she possibly could have. It was less awkward when he’d been some guy she’d had a romp with in a bathroom stall in her past. 

Despite the grimace, she maintained the airs of professionalism she was known for. She could still be a good soldier, cover his six, follow his command. She just had to swallow the personal problems, push her pride aside for the good of the mission.

“Apologies for not arriving sooner.”

Farah glanced over at Price for a moment, noticing the rigidity that overtook him as he stood up straight, arms crossed over his chest. She offered Rory a brief, welcoming smile. “Welcome back. Good to see you. We’ll need all the help we can get if this plan is to succeed.” “Happy to do my part.”

She caught the quick flinch of Price’s brow, the briefest clench of his jaw as he greeted her with a curt nod. “Sergeant.”

All she had to offer back was a formal salute. “Sir.”

Anyone could see they were both suddenly stiff, acting like they’d been probed by heavy metal rods. The air sucked out of the room as they continued to play the same damn game, waiting for the other to break. Forced silence, neither willing to give in or give up. Treating an argument like they were prisoners of war working to outwit their captor, and to each the other was the enemy. Slipping into defensive shells strained under the force of close proximity with one another.

“I’ll go catch up with Garrick, let you get back to things,” she said with a nod, ducking out of the view of her superior and brushing past Keller, making a quick escape. 

She would rather have been getting shot at, anything was better than facing someone who refused to apologize. Not that they could even air their dirty laundry at this point, face down the giant elephant in the room that stood between them, it wasn’t the right time or place. Their infighting and inevitable cataclysmic argument wasn’t the battleground that mattered currently. Her arms swung by her sides as she moved through the camp like something was hurriedly chasing and snapping at her heels. Tossing her duffel down on the ground under one of the trees, separate from the masses, the shade afforded her some semblance of peace as she lit her cigarette. Stretching out her legs, she pressed her head back against the trunk, the rough texture of the bark abrasive on her scalp but it relieved the twisting sting in her gut along with the shot of nicotine that pricked at her brain, coursing that little drop of pleasure through her body, the dopamine a good friend in times like these. You need to quit. A sentiment her therapist had reminded her of a thousand times. The cigarettes didn’t help, they didn’t make things easier, they didn’t help relax her. They numbed her, forced her brain to dampen what she was really feeling so she could ignore it, bury it. Make herself that much sicker. Didn’t help that it was the army’s go-to quick fix for anything that ailed a soldier’s mind.

The breeze picked up, and the branches swayed and rustled above her, blowing her hair in every direction. Looking out amongst the camp through the haze of smoke that shrouded her, she watched the ULF members complete their duties, preparing for war, living up to the liberation part of their group’s name. Rory had dealt with leaders of regimes in several nations now, seen some of the worst they could do, stood up to it and watched how nations could rise and fall as rulers changed hands. But one thing always held true, the people, the ones who lived under the oppressive grip of those in control, wouldn’t sit quietly and take it. Pride filled her at the sight of people coming together to rebel against the iron fist of a man who had enforced his tyrannical will upon them for long enough. 

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t hear the crunch of boots on the grit and rone. The sun desperately trying to break through the clouds and blanket of treetops above completely shut out by the smiling figure that stood above her. “Hey there, stranger.” Rory glanced up at him with a roll of her eyes and smiled. “Hello, Garrick.”

“Didn’t think you’d be coming back after that exit of yours.”

Her heavy sigh was enough of a response as she slipped the cigarette back between her lips and mumbled around it, “I asked to be a part of this fight. I could hardly just stay away, now could I?” 

He sank down beside her and sat in the soil. “He's been on edge since you left, you know.” Garrick tipped his head in the direction of the command tent. “Pretty easy to tell it's not just having to hand over Hadir that's done it either.”

Blowing out a stream of smoke, she scratched at the underside of her jaw. “Price and I are professionals, we can handle some tension between us. Ultimately, we know where each other stands.”

“You two seem thick as thieves, odd seeing things strained like this.”

She turned her head, angling it to look at him from under her brow. “Are you trying to play marriage counselor?”

“No.” He leaned back against the tree and straightened out his back. “Just lending an ear.”

“Good.” Her eyes flickered to the tent before dragging away once more and blowing out smoke. “Because there's nothing going on between him and I.”

“Course not. Never said there was.”

“Merely a disagreement between a superior and his subordinate.” She shrugged, brushing it off as if this entire situation didn’t faze her at all. “A difference of opinion.”

“And that's why you're hiding under a tree.”

“Oi! Watch it,” she said, snapping her head to face him, a nervous chuckle escaping her.

“Listen, for what it's worth, I think what you did was right. Hell, even I questioned it. What you did was brave.”

“Wasn't bravery that made me do it.” Her fingers drifted absentmindedly through the blades of grass below, tearing out pieces, toying with little bits of stone and wood underneath. “Didn't tell him to get stuffed until afterwards. I'm no saint, Kyle. Still did what I was told to, didn't I?”

“You're a good soldier.”

Rory scoffed. “I don't think I want to use ‘I was just following orders’ as my defense. Thanks,” she quipped sarcastically.

“The difference is that you spoke up.”

“What little good that does. This is John we’re talking about after all, he doesn't listen unless he wants to. You'll quickly find that out, if you haven't already.”

“And yet you choose to stick by him.”

She hummed, taking another drag from her cigarette, blowing the smoke out through her nostrils. “I have my reasons.”

“Fair enough, I won’t pry. Come on,” he said, patting her shoulder as he rose back up to his feet. “I’ll help you get your tent set up.” Grabbing her bag, she tossed her cigarette on the ground, stomping it out with her boot and followed. “You’re a good chap, Garrick – like Alex – you’re better than all this. Don’t lose that, eh?” Nudging him with her elbow as she walked beside him. “I’ll remember that, ma’am.” He shot her a sideways glance and a grin that could melt butter. Laughing, Rory fixed the bag on her shoulder. “Nevermind, I take it back. So much for all that good guy palaver.”

“Come on now, I'm not so bad.” His charming smirk caused the scar on his cheek to become more prominent, and his eyes captured the sunlight in just the right way to make him look far more innocent than he was.

“Said the fox before he entered the hen house.”

He shrugged casually and led her towards a quieter corner of the camp to build her temporary abode. 

November 2, 2019 19:21 - Militia Camp, Eastern Georgia

Plates were cleared after their last supper before the attack, the comfort of a warm meal quickly tempered by the seriousness of what was coming, a fight that had been in the works for the last two decades was finally coming to a head. The clatter of forks and knives silenced as the real reason they were all joined there together began.

Holding a briefing by campfire was a new experience, somehow feeling more clandestine than even those held in military facilities that needed the highest clearance for access. And before the group, cigar in mouth, the cherry glowing bright against the dark background of the dying light, Price stood firm. His barking voice carried in the evening breeze as twilight came and the chill of the mountains settled in, cradling them in the sharp embrace of mid-autumn. 

The rules of engagement had been decided upon. The plan was to level the gas plant and kill Barkov in the process, making sure the chemical weapons were unable to get into the hands of another. Tomorrow they’d be closing the door on one chapter in Urzikstan’s history and opening another, one without fear of retribution from Russia, one where foreign boots would no longer have to march on their soil. The attack was to be a counter strike that would decimate any plans for retaliation, the political fallout from it too much of a headache for any nation to want to handle. 

However, the mission had to go without a hitch or it meant all out war with Russia and the further destruction of Urzikstan under the General’s leadership. It wasn’t a heavy deployment either – no major armaments except for one tank and air support with missiles. Once that was gone they were several dozen people and some ammo. Hardly enough to take on an entire military facility on their own, their force would be little more than an insignificant annoyance, a blip in Barkov’s day. The smoke swirled around Price as he spoke, mingling with that of the fire. The flickering light of the flames illuminating all the peaks of his face, casting the rest into shadow under his boonie hat making him appear damn near malevolent, feral when the sparks shone in his eyes. Her focus remained on his words, on the information being delivered, but there was still that little part of her that flinched when their eyes met and his drifted away. The silence between them was deafening with little room left for idle conversation. Keeping each other at arm’s length, they were disconnected, and the magnitude of the growing distance between them was not lost on her. Anger was a good motivator, but the pangs of regret had begun to find their place, wriggling into her thoughts, the larval stage of her own anxiety that she was in constant battle with. It didn’t matter if she was in the right, if she could take some sort of moral high ground, not when her head told her otherwise, when that broken part of her could make its voice heard the loudest.  They’d have their own war to wage once this was over, their home the battleground. The place that was her one constant, somewhere safe that separated church from state and all the rules and regulations and power dynamics no longer existed. They weren’t Captain and Sergeant there, they were just John and Rory. She realized now just how much the attack on Piccadilly had changed everything. It was the match that struck and had caught fire. She thought she’d been left unscathed, had gotten off lucky. Now, she couldn’t help but feel more wrong. 

[theskeletonprior]

Obsessed with an OC? Full to the brim with brainrot you don't know how to deal with? Enduring the agonies over an under-appreciated an unromanceable canon character? Look no further than The Skeleton Prior's OC x Canon Emporium, where the fic writes itself... You just have to hire a dead guy. The Emporium is open for business. Bring me your beloved OCs, and let me spin you a tale! My commissions help me dig my way out of the deep pit of customer service work and pay for things like sertraline, funding for my ongoing effort to be reunited with my beloved husband, my beautiful polycule, and the occasional good meal. So hire a dead guy, and help support a queer creative. Looking for a Tav Tale? I've got you covered. For samples of my work, check me out on AO3.

Price List (all prices in USD) 500 words for $10 1000 words for $15 1500 words for $25 2000 words for $35 If you're looking for a longer work, feel free shoot me an email at theskeletonprior@gmail.com and we'll chat. Words are what I do. Familiar Fandoms: Baldur's Gate 3, D&D, Dragon Age, The Elder Scrolls (most familiar before The Elder Scrolls Online), JJK, The Locked Tomb, Fate/Grand Order, Demon Slayer, Castlevania, Arcane Niche Fandoms: Alchemy of Souls, Jupiter Ascending, Claymore, Til the End of the Moon, Pacific Rim Don't see your fandom on the list? Shoot me a message! This list is far from exhaustive. My interests are pretty broad, and I'm always looking for something new to love. Honestly if I can get through all of it in a matter of days, I'll probably check it out, so don't be shy. I don't accept graphic NSFW requests, non-con, or underage. If in doubt, just check in with me first. If it's not my jive, I'll simply tell you no, and we'll both go on enjoying our freaky little lives.

Questions? You can reach me at theskeletonprior@gmail.com.

[bubblegum-glitch]

I suppose the best place to begin an introduction is at the very beginning. But let's be real, that's 35 years of filler that I'm sure most of you don't have the time to read through. Life is short, and life is busy, so how about we bullet point the highlights and "need to knows" leading up to the journey that you're all here for!

Hang on to your butts, I'm about to throw a lot of information at you in rapid fire succession.

I was born in April of '89 and was raised on the East Coast of Canada.

I have 4 older brothers, my parents are still together, and aside from a few hiccups I had a pretty good home life.

I have some alcohol related trauma due to my dad's addiction. He was never violent or abusive, but there are some mental scars that never fully healed. (Note he is now sober and our relationship is much better these days.)

I have a very close relationship with my mom.

My mom babysat so I was raised with 3 girls my age who are my sisters from other misters. We may not be related by blood, but we have that same bond that sisters have.

My family would have been considered lower middle class.

I was a tom boy growing up. I was more interested in video games and beast wars than barbies and baby dolls.

I started showing signs of mental health issues (anxiety, depression & panic attacks) around 10 years old (the same time my period started) but they were not addressed until my late 20s.

I had severe acne in my teens and have bad permanent scaring on my cheeks as a result. This led to an ongoing struggle with Body Dysmorphia and a lot of money spent on skin resurfacing that never worked.

High School was horseshit but I never dealt with any severe bullying. These were the years, however, that I began self-harming.

I wasn't "popular" per say, but I had lots of friends growing up.

I started working with a paper route at 10, then at 16 got my first job in retail at a Dollar store that was located next to a strip club. I will regale you with those stories in a future post.

I would be employed in the customer service industry without a break for the next 8 years.

I got my BA in English straight out of High School and put myself in crippling debt for a useless piece of paper.

During a night of D&D spent over at one of my friends' exes apartments, at 19 years old, I had my first kiss, got drunk for the first time, and lost my virginity all in one shot.

I did not drink or do drugs as a teen.

I have never done hard drugs or smoked cigarettes.

I have only been drunk about 5 times in my life, only once bad enough for a hang over, and rarely ever have a drink even to this day.

I didn't start smoking weed until my mid 20s.

I went full emo (aesthetic, music, and personality) in University.

My dream job is to be a novelist.

I have a certificate in Photography and shoot nature as a hobby, and pets as a paid gig from time to time.

I had a popular YouTube channel for like 5 minutes in 2009 but then I panicked and deleted it.

I have never had a career outside of customer service.

I have only had five sexual partners in my life.

I have only ever had two relationships last more than 2 months.

I identified as aromantic asexual for a very long time.

I do not currently know what I identify as sexually. Most likely aromantic bisexual, but it's very fluid.

I have been with my Husband for approximately 10 years.

I have attempted suicide twice.

I was diagnosed with PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) around the time I was 30 and began LIFE CHANGING prescription medication (sertraline).

I do not like nor do I ever want children so I got my tubes tied at 32.

I'm a huge animal lover and as of this time have owned 2 cats, 4 dogs, 3 budgies, 2 hamsters, 1 rabbit, and 7 rats over the course of my lifetime.

I have an incomplete education in IT Web Design and Audio Engineering.

I have vocal training but hate the sound of my voice.

I made money streaming video games on twitch with some friends for a bit in 2016 - 2017.

I started working in the donation rooms of thrift stores in 2016 and honestly if it wasn't for the bullshit politics of the companies I've worked for I could totally see myself staying in that industry. I wouldn't be against opening my own thrift shop one day.

I have been an introvert since Junior High.

I am agnostic.

Okay... Alright, okay, alright.

I think that covers all the need-to-knows of my life before I said "Fuck it" and started taking off my clothes in front of the camera. Thanks for sticking with me through that whole information dump. Hopefully that's enough to give you a bit of an idea of who I am, and can maybe help break that idea that all sex workers have tragic pasts and severe trauma.

My life has never been tragic. Yes, there have been hurdles I've had to overcome, an alcoholic parent, navigating life with severe anxiety and depression, and the adolescent struggles any teenager and young adult may face. But really, my life has honestly been kind of uneventful, and I don't mean that as a bad thing!

This is my foundation, the building blocks that made me who I am today. And who is that?

Well, stick around and I'll tell you!

[awesomehoggirl]

I fucked up so fucking bad guys I totally totally forgot to renew my sertraline prescription before coming home from the holidays, thought it would be fine bc its only been abt 2-3 months but woke up today with all the fucking withdrawal symptoms and only JUST realised that is why (its been 4-5 days since my last dose). am i seriously gonna be withdrawing over christmas 😭 i feel im being turned inside out

[smol-grey-tea]

Since starting 100mg of sertraline, it's been easier and easier to pace less and less frequently; the most days in a row I've managed to go without pacing at all is 4 days in a row, which I did in December, February and June - that's 3 times

I wanna challenge myself to do 4 days in a row again. Right now. I'm on the 3rd day now. And it's difficult, definitely, but I know I can do it

[stupidneko]

Haven't taken my sertraline in 3 days how far can I go guys ??

[therealvalkyrie]

okay idk if any of y'all remember when i was posting about starting sertraline (zoloft), but it's been over a month now and this shit is the GOAT. i'm happy??? and productive?? y'all i did an impromptu closet clean out yesterday and donated so much stuff i never wear anymore. and i started journaling again?? and i'm more communicative and i spent a whole day shopping (SHOPPING????) with my mother and had a pleasant time???????? AND IT'S THE DEPTHS OF WINTER????????????????? i've also been having really vivid and bizarre dreams, but they're kinda fun ngl. anyway, thanks for encouraging me to start<3

[phemiec]

Ahhhh shit boys I went without my sertraline for 3 days because pharm was shut down for Thanksgiving long weekend and FFFFFFF

[glossysoap]

I saw your tags under this post https://www.tumblr.com/glossysoap/759468668992290816/you-all-have-full-permission-to-curbstomp-me-in and even though I’m sure it won’t do much, I’m telling you that your writing speed doesn’t determine your worth as a writer and especially not as a friend. Anyone who’s made you feel that way can go, there’s the door -> 🚪

thank you ily 😭 i appreciate it <3 it’s no one’s fault at the end of the day, just me and my brain and being off sertraline until i get paid again 😭 i’ll try and work on my mindset and feelings etc etc

[cyb3r-mutt]

I am apparently very curious tonight.... :)

5, 7, 15, 17, 18, 26, 45, 46, 49

- secret person

Ooooooohh these are very good ones :3

5. Are you a monsterfucker? What’s your favourite monster?

Hell yeah I am!!!! And this is a very tricky as I’m an equal opportunity monster fucker and truly wanna fuck em all but if I had to choose probably orcs, dragons, or some sort of tentacle monster!!!

7. What is your favourite sexual scenario you’ve ever come up with?

Ooh probably thinking about being super needy and desperate grinding and moaning and whining against another sub while a dom jerks off to us while praising and degrading us

15. Is there a thing that people do that makes you go absolutely crazy?

Playful teasing honestly like if you’re being bratty or condescending in a flirty way I go feral

17.  Do you think you’ll prefer to give or recieve oral? (be honest, no judgement here!)

Don’t get me wrong I love both but I loooooooove giving!!!! I can and will lose myself in it, I love feeling someone twitching and bucking and moaning beneath me but also the way that I can get so fuzzy from being praised or petted while I do it

18. What title do you think you prefer? (eg: sir, puppy, master, slave, etc)

This is a tough one!!! For when I’m subbing I love being called puppy or mutt or pet, when I’m domming I don’t exactly have a preference!! It more depends on my dynamic with the other person and our kinks!!

26. How often do you masturbate?

It varies tbh!! Sometimes it’ll be pretty much every day sometimes it’ll be a couple times a month usually depends on stress levels and how much free time I have when I’m home alone!!

45. How much self control do you have? Can you edge/deny yourself for a long time?

I can edge for a long time but that’s mainly cuz my ssri can make it really hard to cum at all lmao so sometimes edging is all I got yay sertraline :3

46. Are you loud?

I can be loud ish ! I had gotten into the habit of being as quiet as possible since i don’t live by myself but I find it feels better when I’m loud? So I wouldn’t say I’m screaming or anything but whines and whimpers for sure

49. What is your main masturbation fantasy at the moment?

Ooh been thinking a lot about someone walking in on me masturbating and laughing at how cute and needy I am and then being made to beg for them to help me out