#deadpool x male!reader

[pandagyaru]

Deadpool needs a gyaru girlfriend

(Its me, Im the gyaru girlfriend)

(I may be nonbinary, but sometimes being called girlfriend just hits different aometimes)

[shockedemojiatsv]

M reader breeding deadpool with so much cum? 😩

▪︎■☆One More, Please☆■▪︎

☆ 🔞!!NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!🔞

☆ amab!bot!Deadpool / amab!dom!reader

☆ short-ish

☆ sorry for the delay~~ again-....

°○☆NSFW under the cut☆○°

"Holy- fucking– SHIT" Wade sobs. Your fingers having to stuff his mouth to get him to shut up because goddamn is he loud! And you're not planning on getting yelled at by your land lady by tomorrow.

It's not his fault, really. Not when you have your dick buried inside him. Warm and wet and Jesus christ, whyd you have to be so big? Your cock was rubbing up against spots he never knew he thought would still work like it used to. He's not complaining, not at all. When he pushes his ass to get a little more of your girth inside of him. Slamming his prostate repeatedly in the process. Wade's cock rutting against the sheets, in rhythm to your own rough movements.

He's panting like a dog with half of his face buried into the pillow. Screaming like a little bitch even with your fingers seldomly choking him. ("Just the way he liked it" Wade reassures you beforehand almost all the time).

The more you move the more he feels another wave, euphoria crashing down like a 7.0 magnitude of an earthquake. He shivers when he cums. Screams while having a death grip on the poor poor sheets. Coating the material in his liquid again. And again... and again... you had the stamina, he had the sex drive. The 4th time he cums, you joined him in harmony. Filling him to the brim again. And a certain amount also flowing out of his hole and sliding down his thighs.

When your dick leaves his cum stuffed body, Wade shivers when he feels even more of your fluids drip down his thighs and onto the sheets. Trying to use the rest of his energy to bring his ass even higher and present himself to you.

"Cmon... one more one more pretty pleaseeee" He'll whine. Just like last time. He isn't stopping until either of you tap out.

[dreorig]

Oh wow, you just happen to be taller and broader than your mercenary boyfriend!

[ deadpool x dom male reader | nsfw under the cut | had this sitting in my drafts for a while now so uhhh forgive any mistakes :P ]

First things first. He thinks that's so hot of you.

He brags about you to everyone. Everyone. Random people, someone's he's fighting with, a friend; they all will hear about how handsome and tall Wade's boyfriend is.

Wade gets heart eyes when you both are in public and you hold his waist or hug him from behind. A subtle possessive squeeze on him will also do the job.

Wade will steal your clothes. He is 6'2, do you seriously think he'd ever have another chance to feel smaller in someone else's clothes anytime soon? Yeah, he's not losing this chance.

How many times can he ask to arm wrestle with you until you threaten to cut his vocal chords?

"So we can't get to decide what we're getting for dinner and we both want different things..." "Wade—" "There's only one way to solve this situation..." "Wade. No." "ARM WRESTLING!" "NO."

You will give him piggy backs and carry him around in bridal style either you like it or not. It's a demand.

He jumps at you randomly. First time he did that he jumped from behind, but you didn't know that was him, so your instincts made you grab that apparently stranger and throw him across the room, making him hit a wall. Wade fell even more for you right then and there.

Wade was mesmerised. You desperate; so you ran towards him, already chanting an infinite amount of sorry's. "Shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to—" your apology was interrupted by the sound of Wade's laugh, which took you aback a little. Wade jumped to his feet and into your arms, this time you caught him properly. He wrapped his legs around your waist and arms around your neck, his chest still trembling with laughter. "Do you know how unbelievably hot that was? Never stop manhandling me."

Wade can reach the top shelves just fine but will ask you to grab the things instead. He just wants to enjoy his tall dog privilege.

He will always go to the gym with you if he's not busy re-killing former US presidents, slaughtering some asshole or pestering Logan. Hell, Wade loves to see your muscles flexing and your sweaty self after a good workout.

Asking you to pick him up (like this) became a part of your workout routine. He giggles and melts in your hold because he loves the fact that you pick him off the ground so effortlessly, like he's a piece of paper.

Fuck him doggy style and slap his ass with your big hands and you'll hear the loudest moan ever.

So loud you'll probably need to slip a few fingers inside his mouth to keep him shut. You don't need any neighbours hearing what's yours only.

You know what they say about big hands, eh? Wade knows it better than anyone and God, he loves the way you stretch him. Naturally he's got a high pain tolerance, so you being big and making him see things without having to use a toy is just perfect.

Doesn't mean you never use toys, tho. Fuck Wade's face and make him gag on your big cock while he has a dildo deep inside him, he'll give you the biggest puppy eyes ever as he humps on your leg.

You reminding him of your size difference never fails to make him wet. Never fucking fails. Tell him he should stand in front of you to get a better view since you're taller and he won't hide the fact that his underwear is already stained with pre-cum.

No marks such as love bites will stay on Wade's body due to his healing factor, much to his and your dislike, but eventually you found a way to claim him as yours — he's got to wear one of your shirts while you so relentlessly fuck him and even after you're done. Your scent and sweat that lingers on the fabric make Wade's head spin, often leading him to beg for you to fuck him once again.

Plus wearing your clothes just feels right. The way they're always oversized on him serves to remind him of how much bigger you are. He's got a size kink, he can't help it.

"Aren't you my little bitch?" you increased your pace. "Fuck, yes, yes," he pushed his hips down, meeting your thrusts. "Did I fuck you dumb? Use your damn words," you growled in his ear. Wade's cock throbbed at that. He was indeed beginning to think you fucked him dumb, yet he replied, "Arghh— yes, shit, yes, I'm your little bitch~" "Yeah, that's right. Let me show you how a real man treats a little bitch like you," you slapped his ass so hard even your own hand burned a little. Wade came right away without even having to touch his cock this time. How many times was it now? Not that he cared, he just wanted more, more, more. You chuckled, pleased with your own work. "Look at what a slap can do to a little bitch in heat." Wade wasn't sure of what you really said, but his ears caught "little bitch in heat" and he smiled dumb, more than happy to know he was your little bitch in heat.

[paranormal-pajama-phantom]

headcannons for deadpool dating peter parkers older sibling??

yesss this is such a good idea

Deadpool X Peter Parker's Older Sibling

Peter would definitely not want you dating or even going near Deadpool

he thinks Wade is too much of a risk and will put you in danger

But no matter how hard Peter tries to convince you he never can

He starts out very cold to Wade but eventually just accepts that this is his new fate

Constantly gets into fights with Wade but the more time you and Wade are together the friendlier the fights become

Deadpool on the other hand thinks annoying Peter is hilarious and continues to do so, but he also tries to make sure not to cross a line

They're never gonna be best friends but if you do enough bonding exercises with them then they at least wont hate each other

Come back soon! 💌

[f4nrir]

hi again boyf

in need of deadpool x male reader where deadpool is getting off and thinking of reader so he calls reader while they're at work and teases them by moaning and touching himself while on a call with reader. reader can't do anything bc they're at work so it's all just a tease but it ends with a very sexually frustrated reader leaving work abruptly to go bang/get banged by his lover

ok bye ty love <3

office hours

— pairing; wade wilson x male reader

note: thank you for requesting this ?! got the random urge to write for him so i tackled this request, sorry for letting it rot in my inbox for a bit.. ALSO! to my mutuals, let me know if you'd like to be on my tag list.

cw: teasing, degradation, sub!wade, dom!reader, office masturbation, a bit of phone sex (?), daddy kink.

it was a slow day in the office, which you enjoyed as you took avantage of these opportunities to catch up on paperwork that needed to be done. you glanced behind you, noticing the piles of folders that needed to be gone over and you turned your focus back to the file presented in front of you. enjoying your peace, you immediately got to work before the opportunity of getting interrupted presented itself to you. 

someone else beat you to it and you groaned in frustration; how wonderful.  

you looked at the caller id, not surprised by who it was but it concerned you since it was wade. even though he called you throughout the day to check up on you, or simply talk to you since he was bored, he never called you at this time of day. you worried a lot about him ever since you found about his identity of deadpool, knowing that he’s reckless and irresponsible at times. you answered his call, hoping that your conclusions didn’t become reality as your mind jumped to the worst scenarios. 

“wade? are you–” the sounds of his moans filled the end of the line and a blush crept up to your face, instantly turning down your volume due to your paranoia that someone would hear your call. 

“someone busy? or can you make some time for me..” he teased as he continued, the faint sound of skin slapping and something wet in the background as he talked. you could only assume lube, as this wasn’t a foreign sound unbeknownst to you. “wade.. i’m trying to catch up on paperwork here,” you groaned as the familiar feeling of your bulge pressing against your tight slacks came to your attention. 

“then hang up. but you don’t want to, huh? you’d rather listen to me fuck myself and pump my cock?” his words never failed to get to you, even though he talked confidently you were always the one to fuck him numb to put him in his place. “ever thought of the possibility that you can’t finish by yourself, and you need my help?” you answered back in defense and he fell silent, the sound of lube and his groans filling the call as you chuckled to yourself. “you’re such a pathetic whore, you know that wade? go finish by yourself.”

“nono, please don’t hang up!” he pleaded, a hint of submission in his voice. you placed your phone closer to your ear and you adjusted in your seat, the sound of your belt unbuckling coming to his attention as he whined into the call. “i can’t believe i’m doing this right now..” you mumbled to yourself while you began to stroke your own cock, light groans and pants filling wade’s ear. 

he began to touch himself, imagining that it was your hand performing that action for him. he moaned profusely, not caring if anyone heard. you loved that about him, he was shameless and wanted everyone to know that he was yours just by how good you were making him feel. 

“daddy.. please come home,” he begged, the nickname causing you to almost cum right then and there on your seat. “sweetheart, you know i can’t.. i’m busy” you reasoned while looking around the room, thinking you could take it home and have him help you finish the files. 

“then talk me through it?” he asked and you felt your heart flutter in your chest at the idea of it all.

“you’re such a desperate slut, huh?” you teased, earning a moan from wade. “for you, daddy. please talk to me.” 

you cleared your throat and put the speaker closer to your mouth, “touch yourself for me. imagine my hand stroking that pretty cock of yours as i press my fingers into your aching hole, pumping them to give you a sense of relief.” wade gasped at your words and sped up his pace, doing his best to relieve himself but couldn’t since it wasn’t you doing it to him. 

you continued to touch yourself to the thought of him on your shared bed, pathetically jerking himself off. “oh wade, don’t go quiet on me now. háblame, cariño” wade’s muffled moans filled his end of the line, the sounds of skin slapping becoming apparent as you listened closely. 

“want your cock in me– i need you to fuck me numb, i can’t do it without you. please, daddy. please.. ah!” you knew he hit his prostate as the sound of him mewling at the contact was engraved in your head, due to the amount of times you’ve done it to him during sex. 

giving into your temptations, you fixed your belt and began to pack your things. wade stopped, as he got the wrong idea “no no, where are you going? please don’t go–” you cut him off, “i’m on my way home. prep yourself and you’re going to help me with my files when we’re done.” 

wade smiled as he spoke, taking his hand off his cock as he’d rather save it for when you’re home, “yes, sir”.

“good boy. i’m on my way home,” you hung up right after and continued to pack the rest of your files before leaving your office, abruptly closing the door behind you.

tag: @anglhrts

[mlm-writer]

Daddy/Dearest (Wade Wilson x M!Reader)

Pairing: Wade Wilson/Deadpool x Alien!Cis!M!Reader  Rating: Mature (lowest I can go with a Deadpool fic) Words: 1048 POV: Third Summary: You matched with Deadpool on the intergalactic dating app Starcrossed. After exchanging many dick pics, you decided to visit Earth for your first date... and blow the planet up if the date sucked. Note: Inspired by the song Party Tonight by Joe Hedourix and this prompt. Tags: first date, fluff, idk who Nick Fury really is tbh, 4th wall breaks, romcom and reader’s appearance is a little vague but at some point I started imagining Megamind

“Deadpool! Open up!” Wade groaned at the insistent knocking on his door. He tried to rub his eyes, only to find out that he was still wearing his mask. A quick look down revealed he had fallen asleep on the couch in his PJs. The knocking at his door stopped, so he rested his body on the couch. He had barely closed his eyes, when the door was knocked down. 

He raised his head with a groan, only to be incredibly surprised by his guest. “Wow, Nick Fury, I am not sure if I am even supposed to know who you are, because the writer has seen exactly one movie in which you had a cat, but he supposes you’re an important dude or whatever.” 

“Shut it, motherfucker,” the man wearing a black trenchcoat barked back at Wade. He clearly took note of the dirty white shirt with a butt on it and the blue chequered underwear Wade was wearing, but he did not comment on it. “Do you know the app Starcrossed?” 

Wade laughed, not reading the room that had been filled with armoured men and women because we are inclusive here and women can and will kick your ass if provoked. 

“That app with all the metas on it? Why? Did we match? I’m sorry if I did not reply, but you’re not really my type and you must have been an accidental swipe.” 

“Stop yapping! Does this guy look familiar to you?” From his pocket he unfolded a picture printed on an A4 paper. Wade leaned in and squinted at the picture. He did recognise the person on it. 

“Oh yes that’s my daddy - not my father - but like a sexual daddy you know. You should see his dick.” Nick looked like he was gonna lose it. Wade could tell, but he frankly did not give a shit. 

“Well, your ‘daddy’ is the leader of an alien race, whose armada is in orbit right now to drop him off for a ‘date’ with you. So get dressed, because whether we get blown up or not today is apparently up to you.” That was a lot to take in, but Wade was used to weird days and this was simply just another one of them. 

Now it was common to be nervous for a first date, but the fully armed SWAT team dropping Wade off was not helping. He tried making conversation with them, but they seemed to blame him for possible annihilation before dinner time. 

When he stepped out of the chopper, there was a masculine figure waiting in front of the former military base. He held a large bouquet of iridescent flowers. They seemed either fake or from an alien planet. “Wadey!” The figure called out, waving frantically with all hands that were not holding the bouquet. The inhuman coloured skin seemed to change colour wherever the late morning sun was directly shining on it. 

“Hi daddy,” Wade called back in the same cooing tone. He skipped over to his date. “Are those for me?” He mused, knowing the answer as his date handed them to him. 

“I heard flowers are quite common to bring to a Terran date, so I brought some rare flowers from my planet for you. I am afraid they will not survive as long as they would on my planet though. The sun here is weak.” Wade smelled the flowers. They smelled like butt. Could be worse. At least Wade was familiar with the smell of butt. Wade held the flowers close as he thanked the other for them. “Well then, shall we? Your government was so kind to help me set up an Earth-date.” 

The atmosphere was… weird. There was a very extensive brunch on a beautifully decorated table, but they were surrounded by people keeping them at gunpoint. “You don’t seem bothered by being held at gunpoint,” Wade noted as he rolled up his mask just far enough to shove a croissant into his mouth. 

“Likewise,” his date smirked back at him. He reached out and touched the edges of the mask. “Come on, I already know your dick and ass are covered in scars. Your face cannot possibly scare me.” Wade thought about it. Well, his identity was not really a secret right now anyway. They already knew where he lived. Wade lifted his mask off his face, trying to not show how insecure he was about his fucked up face. However, when he looked at the alien before him, he swore he could see a hunger in his eyes. “If these people were not around, I would fuck your face right now,” the man sighed dreamily, before continuing to clumsily trying to spread butter on a piece of toast. 

Wade reached out and decided to help him. Their fingers briefly touched and Wade saw the other man smile at the contact. It set his body on fire with desire. “I frankly don’t care about the audience, but after writing all those kinktober fics the writer can really use a break from blowjob scenes, so let’s keep this from being E-rated.”

Wade sat back down after buttering his date’s toast. He watched as the alien’s facial features reacted to the taste of Earth food. “Fascinating,” he spoke softly. Wade chatted with his date and those mesmerising eyes and charming smile kept drawing him in. At some point he was sure even Nick Fury could smell his arousal from wherever he was keeping an eye on the situation. There was no more food left, when his date rose from his seat and offered one of his hands. “Let’s get out of here.” 

Wade grabbed his mask and put it back on. “We’ll have to fight our way out of here if we want to do that.” A corona of blue light started surrounding the alien, a devilish smile appearing on his face. The sudden display of power got people loading their guns and Wade’s gun filling up with blood really quickly. 

“Do not worry, dearest, that can be arranged,” the most powerful being that had ever held him spoke, before he blasted a hole in the line of armed people, lighting the way to their future in a flurry of blue. “Let’s have a good time, dearest.”

[6rookie-writer0110]

I know the dealer

Wade Wilson x Reader (Gender-Neutral)

Summary - Wade comforts Reader after being dumped.

Wade comes home and he puts on his Crocs, then he noticed you are sad.

“Don’t cry, Y/n my hand will heal after weeks or days” Wade said.

He has baby hands now.

“I don't care about your stupid baby hands,” You said.

“Ouch, that hurts my feelings. Now put five dollars in the swear jar. But why are you crying?” Wade said.

“I got dumped by the love of my life, Wade” You cried.

“Oh, that hurts,” Wade said.

He did hug you but it felt strange with his baby hands.

“Apparently, we weren't on the same page. I thought I found the right one but I was wrong, love sucks” You said.

“First time in love?” Wade asked.

“And my last,” You said sadly.

He pats your head then you moved his hand away.

“Oh, I have been there. I got my heart broken before and I thought I couldn't find anyone else, but I was wrong. Look, Y/n you will find the right person for you but that takes time and you can't force love” Wade said.

You don't say anything. You cried then he hugged you again and he holds you.

“Your hands feel strange,” You said.

“Shhh, don't ruin the moment Y/n,” Wade said.

He does try his best to cheer you but it didn't work. He lets you cry then he talks about bad dates he has been on, that made you laugh.

✯ ✫ ✯ ✫

The next night… he made you get in the car. But he doesn't tell you where he is taking you and you keep asking but he won't tell you.

“Y/n, I won't tell you. It's a huge surprise and you will have fun” Wade said.

“Ugh,” You whined.

He stopped in front of the house. Then he made you take out a duffle bag and it's heavy. Now you and Wade are standing in the yard in front of the windows.

“Y/n, having your heart broken sucks, and it hurts. But give it time to heal and you won't feel hurt anymore. You are a great person, but your ex didn't see that so that person doesn't deserve your love and kindness” Wade said.

“Thanks, Wade,” You said.

He opened the duffle bag and takes out a brick and your eyes open wide.

“What are you doing!?” You yelled.

“You will love again, but that bitch will pay for breaking your heart” Wade smirked.

“What?” You asked.

He put the brick in your hand. He grabbed another brick and threw it at the window. He yells at you to throw it and you did throw and it hit the other window on the first floor. He threw another one and broke another window.

Wade grabbed your hand then you two started to run away. He jumps over the hood of the car and then got in the car. You are breathing hard then he starts to drive fast, and your heart is beating extremely fast.

“Wade what the fuck!?” You yelled.

“See! I told you that you would have fun!” Wade yelled with cheer.

“Okay, I had fun” You smiled.

“Yay!” Wade cheered.

Wade drove to a drive-thru and orders the food. You and Wade start to eat in the car…

“Oh! I know whose window we should break!” Wade smiled.

“Wade… we can't do that,” You said.

He went on about who should be next and you rolled your eyes at him.

[generic-wattpad-badboy]

Dating Deadpool headcanons

You meet him when you’re both on the same to job

• You’re both were taking down the same sex trafficking asshole

• “Well this is awkward”

• You kill the guy and ending fighting each other When you stab him he flirts with you.

• After he meet you for the first time he won’t stop following you

• The most unhinged pick up lines you could think off

• The first time you watched him die/lose a limb it freaked you out

• When he joins you on jobs he calls them dates

• “Couples that kill together stay together”

• He pretty much annoyed you into a friendship which then turns into a romantic relationship

• Draws you together getting married like a 5 year old its actually pretty funny

• Tells you how he write in his diary about you

• He like a child with a crush

• The most disgusting pet names : sugar plum, baby cakes etc

• You don’t see him without his mask for a long time

• Man is insecure

• He has bad skin days were he can’t handle anything touching him including you

• Your first kiss happens after you almost die

• He likes when you wear his clothes

• He tell you he loves you first out of the two of you

He's like a puppy in love

[mariees-love]

I NEEEEDDDD DEADPOOL X SPIDER-PERSON MALE READER IMAGINE, ONESHOT, OR WHATEVER!!!!

The reader works for Miguel, he's still his universes Spiderman he also works at the Spider-verse HQ. Let's say the reader is working late one night in a little meeting with Miguel, somehow (Hobie probably made him one) Deadpool uses a watch to see his manz. Deadpool pulls the reader into a secluded area and rails the shit out of him basically. very rough sloppy loud fukcing. and the reader has to just go back to speaking professionally with Miguel like he isn't stuffed full and leaking Wade's cum.

sorry if this is too much. I don't really send many requests. You don't have to write this or anything. Love you sweetface <3

AN: omg i love this idea sm but i’m not that good at writing for male readers but i’ll try 🫶🏽

so just imagine that you and wade live together and basically because of your job as spider-man it had you out late and waking up early to patrol or to go to hq for miguel

and bc your always out late you and wade haven’t had much time for intimacy which of course makes him upset since he thinks your distancing yourself away from him 

so he decides to call one of your spider friends ,hobie, to ask him for advice and he decided to give wade one of his spare watches to go see what you where up to

of course wade abuses this new found power he has he decided to give you more then a little visit

before you knew it you where pulled into one of the many supply closets in the building by none other then your lover

your a little confused but before you could say anything he grinds up on you showing you how hard he was and put his hand on your now growing bulge

you covered your mouth not wanting anyone to know about you and wades activities and since wade didn’t like that you where trying to be quiet he slowly pulled your pants down and his leaving you to half naked

before you could say something in protest he starts to rub your boxers making you lightly groan causing him to speed up his hand movements

and before you knew it you where pushed up against the wall of the closet by him as he quickly pulled yours and his boxers down and him teasing his tip at your hole

you later stumbled out of the closet sweaty and full (iykyk)

AN: that was really bad and i couldn’t think of anything for most of the smut so i’m sorry if you don’t like it 😭😭(i’ll do a part 2 going into more detail when i get more motivation)

[fandomnerd9602]

Y/N, Spideypool, returns to Gwen…

Y/N: I got something for you

Y/N presents Gwen with…

Gwen: ohmygosh! My grandmother’s earrings!! Where’d you find them?!

Y/N has a flashback filled with guns, knives, explosions, and unicorns…

Y/N: it was an easy find

Miguel appears in a hologram message…

Miguel: Spideypool?! Why am I getting reports of you killing the entire mafia?!

Y/N: because love knows no bounds!!

Gwen hugs and kisses her man…

[0bloodhorn0]

[multi-fandom-enjoyer]

Gwen and Spider-Reader relax on the couch after a long day of patrol.

Gwen: I'm beat. Pizza and movie night?

Y/n: If cuddles are included, then it sounds like a plan.

The two kissed before Y/n picked up their phone to call Joe's pizza.

Deadpool: Sorry to interrupt this cute moment, but...

Y/n and Gwen turned around to see Deadpool standing in front of an orange, rectangular portal.

Deadpool: I kind of need Y/n's help saving the multiverse.

Y/n: Again? We just had a multiversal crisis a year ago!

Deadpool: I know, but it's become a popular trend in comic book movies besides we need a Team Red crossover.

Y/n turned to Gwen to she thought.

Gwen: It's alright. Just come back in one piece but if something happens I'm coming for you Wade.

Deadpool: Trust me, I know. I've seen Hawkeye and Arcane.

Y/n: Alright, let's go.

He jumped through the portal with Wade following soon after.

Deadpool: Let's f#*k!n' go!

Deadpool: Really a censor!? That's the slogan of the movie!

[youronlydarlin]

🥰Hey can you write a fic for me. Simon buys thongs and he puts them on, he’s all naked with just thongs on. He also lives alone and makes a sexy slow walk to his bedroom door trying to be seductive and he lick his lips and bites it as he gives his ass a little shake. Then Leon jumps and hangs himself by his thongs on the door giving himself a wedgie and he’s screaming loud. His balls squeezed from the thong and his bare ass on display as he hangs from his thongs receiving the wedgie, he screams but he enjoys it

Hi, what?

You stand in the corner, confused, bewildered, afraid. Half eaten pizza falling to the floor at the sight of... What ever the fuck this is..

It's 3am and you're convinced that what you're seeing is a hallucination, a twisted trick your sleep addled mind bestowed on you as the consequence of not properly taking care of yourself. But of all the fucking horror your brain could've conjured, why this? Was this some sort of secret fantasy that you've locked away and neglected? Tossed to the back and left to starve like that one artificial pet you used to play on your moms phone when you were 7? What was so enticing about the image of Ghost from the hit game Call of duty wearing a thong? With the special participation of Leon Kennedy from the world renowned classic Resident Evil game?

It's all just too much, your knees threaten to give out and you're wondering if it's really too late to get therapy. All you wanted was to go back to your room with a snack, and no, Ghost's ass does not count.

It's like watching a car crash, no matter what you do you can't stop looking. Like you're not in control of your eyes. Forced to look up at the morbid scene that's forever engraved into your memory.

When all of a sudden Deadpool crashes in through the window, he carries you to the basement where you have a hot steamy threesome with Wolverine.

And they all lived happily ever after...

a/n: I can't believe after months of disappearance this is what breaks my no fic streak. I'm deeply sorry to anyone who reads this

Yours, truly

–Dolly

[supercap2319]

"Dumb question, but are you okay?" Ikaris asked. Y/N had been sitting on the couch for the past three hours crying his eyes out. He had a sneaky suspicion he knew what was the cause of it, but it didn't want to say anything.

Y/N looks at him and sniffles. "You mean the love of my life left me for that stupid Deadpool guy? No, I am not okay."

"I'm sorry, but fuck Peter. Let's go do something. Get some ice cream or see a movie. My treat."

[paranormal-pajama-phantom]

Deadpool's reaction to seeing his s/o's head getting sliced off while captured but then the real s/o is standing behind him as they somehow escaped saying that's a clone because the villain was trying to fuck with his head.

oh dang this is actually a super good idea 0_0

At first he would try to play it off like he knew the whole time because he doesn't want to show the fact that he was completely terrified

He would probably laugh a little before breaking down

It just shed light to the fact that you might die one day and there's not much he can do to stop it

He will absolutely slaughter that villain by the way...

It definitely makes him realize just how precious your life is

When he first sees the S/O imposter's head getting sliced off his first reaction would probably be kinda, chill

like he's so used to seeing heads getting sliced off

but then he realizes who head it was and he'll start shouting your name

probably won't actually believe its you till you prove it

Will be shaking for hours afterwards

Come back soon! 💌

[pandagyaru]

This isn't 2023 or whatever you just said

Deadpool x 2009 Gender neutral reader

Early 2000s au with my favorite man with a very big uh

Personality.... yeah personality lolz

Anyways my thought process is like, what if dp goes back in time on accident and needs to find out what year it is. Like 2009 or something. But he meets the prettiest little human, aka you dollies!

P.s: Your apartment is like all rooms in one, kinda like dps in the movie, except your bathroom is private, LMAO.

P.p.s: the reader is very no descriptive. Besides the fact they wear glasses!

A swirling noise fills the dark void of your open space apartment. You sit up in bed and slide your sleeping mask up on your forehead. A purple and orange hole in the abyss that is your living room. You blink the eye crusties and boogers away as you stare at it, blinking like a frog as you get used to the strange light. A red and black clad body shoots through the portal, landing on your comforter.

"WHAT THE FUCK" You shout, crawling up to your headboard. You hurry and flick on your bedside lamp to get a good look at the dead body? You don't know if the person is dead or not, but God, you didn't wanna find out. It suddenly sits up with a gasp, its head snapping towards you. It points at you.

"YOU! WHERE AM I?" The voice is masculine, so you're assuming it's a guy. I mean, you're hoping what you're assuming is right. It may be 2009, but you'd hate to misgender this stranger in your bed.

"Uh, you're in my apartment. May I ask where the fuck you came from?" You ask, leaning over and grabbing your glasses of your nightstand, slipping them on your face.

"Right, your apartment. I came from a mansion, not mine. Like a friends mansion" He explains, looking around at all your "ancient" looking belongings. "Say is it 2023?"

"Huh? 2023? No, it's 2009. Are you okay? Did you hit your head on my bed post? Like, I understand you like spawned in my apartment, but I dont think time travel is possible. doctor who" you joke, nudging your foot at him. His head whips to you.

"2009?" He asks. You nod and pull out your iPhone 3G, turning it on and showing him the date.

"Yeah. It's also 3 am. So, if you're staying, my couch pulls out into a bed. I do have to warn you, I have work at like 9 am" You tell him, getting up incase you have to pull the couch bed out. He looks over at your couch and then back at you.

"Or we could share this cozy ass bed you got yourself here." He flirts, leaning back on your bed and trying to seem seductive. You blush.

"I'll pull out the couch" you mutter, speed walking over to the couch. You bend over to grip the metal bars under the couch cushions.

"You're supposed to remove the cushions' first sugar butt" He says, standing up and walking over to you. Your face feels hot at the petname. "Its like a sleepover! All we need is movies and snacks"

"I have work, remember?" You state, picking up and throwing the couch cushions. The bed sliding out and setting itself down on the hardwood floor. He looks over at you.

"Yeah, at 9am. When did you go to bed?" He asks. You look over at him.

"Like 8pm. I was exhausted today"

"So you've had 7 hours of sleep. If we watch one movie, you'll get like 5 more hours. You'll be fine" He says, plopping his leather clad fat ass (I just had to specify that btw) on the couch bed. You think it over. You sigh.

"Fine, but we're watching catwoman. Halle Berry is gorgeous in that movie" You say, walking over to your DVD rack. You crouch down to read all the titles of movies you have. You find the movie you want and peek over your TV stand to your DVD player. You put the movie in. "Have you ever seen this movie?" You ask, walking back over to thr couch bed. Deadpool wades (HA GET IT?) over his response. The truth is he hasn't seen it in fucking forever.

"I have, but it's been a while," He answers.

"Oh yeah how long? I watched it the other day"

"About 15 years. Give or take"

"It came out 5 years ago..."

"Right right its 2009"

"Wait so you're actually from the future? Holy shit. What's life like?" You jump up and grab his shoulders.

"Technology is definitely better then what you have in this place. I'll tell ya that for free. God your phone is God awful" He jokes, smashing his hand on your face.

"Hey, that's the latest phone! I'm cool!" You shout, grabbing his wrist, trying to pull his hand off your face. He laughs. "I know we just met. But would you be able to show me what 2023 looks like?" You ask, looking into the whites of his mask.

"Uh, i don't know if it transports more then one person. But I could try." He mutters, watching the way your eyes light up.

The night ended with you falling asleep on him halfway through the movie.

LOVE YA!