#dean is like i prayed....?

[angelfishofthelord]

dean says sorry you had to spend all that time in the empty and cas goes oh it's ok i'm sure you did everything you could to get me back and sam and dean look at each other

[wigglebox]

Newsflash: They sound ridiculous either way

[high-voltage-rat]

man okay so I used to play mechquest and dragonfable back in like, 2008 when I was a kid with very little patience to follow a storyline. coming back as an adult and finishing mechquest has absolutely slapped me silly with how deep and serious the story is in between all the absurdist humour. I have. so many emotions over the whole storyline, and especially so many thoughts about the unique form of tragedy that is The Reset.

You save the world but it's not the world anymore. You and your friends survive but you don't know each other anymore- have nothing left of the lives you fought to keep. You 'save' everything but it's still all gone. Everything you knew and loved, gone, and you don't even know what you've lost. You can't even keep the memory of what you had- and that's almost kinder compared to being one of the 3ish people who DO remember... and have to live around everyone else who doesn't, knowing their closest friends look at them and see a stranger, and that they may as well be because they aren't that person they remember being.

And to top it all off, that terrible sacrifice doesn't even end it. you're still left fighting impossible and devastating wars over and over. It's the tragedy of doomed time loops with extra layers of devastating all over the place. The GEARS University students being forced to become soldiers because they're all that's left to protect their homeworld. The horrors of the Shadowscythe virus taking over friends and loved ones you may be forced to put down to save yourself. The town of Falconreach burning over and over because no matter how hard they fight, it's never enough. The people like Sha'rae who sacrifice themselves to try and prevent tyrrany from seizing power, only for it to be utterly useless.

Anyway the brainrot is severe and especially dangerous since I'm coming into exam season and all my hyperfixated brain wants to do is chew on glass about these games.

[morallygreyintrovert]

I’ve just started reading part one of Ninety One Whiskey by Komodobits on Ao3 after seeing everyone raging about it on twitter and I’m feeling twist and shout deja vu, my feelings are definitely going to get hurt I just know it. Pray to Cas for me

[fizzy-dizzie]

Trans Sam headcannies blink blink batting eyelids (BC I don't talk abt the TRUTH enough)

Binders wouldn't have been super accessible in the 90s-00s so I imagine he used some less safe methods.

He'd bind for wayyy longer then he was ment to

If he was on a hunt he kinda didn't have many options

He'd sit on the bed finally when they got back to a motel and just breathe deep breaths for a while

His ribcage just perpetually hurt, he was used to it

He started T in college and got top surgery not long after

Dean had known about him being trans long before Sam left for college but he didn't really understand how serious Sam was about it until he came to get Sam to find his dad and 'oh my god that's a whole ass man'

Dean helped him cut his hair real short tho when they were young

John was not very impressed when that happened

John didn't know until they saw eachother post college

John didn't really get it. He was a very 'your ruining your body' type dad but honestly I think he would have had bigger problems on his mind to make a big fuss out of it (John winchester makes a big fuss out of everything so maybe more, he wouldn't make a MASSIVE fuss)

Sam was disappointed about his dad's lack of support but it was expected

Dean was very impressed by the top surgery job. Actually, considering he had never even seen one before, he was probably amazed.

Sam used to do research about what a trans person was in libraries on the computers

Most of his gender envy (/jealousy?) would have come from dean

Sam didn't really realise till he hit his pre-teen years

But he only found a name for how he felt at like 13-14

He told Dean about a year later

"I don't really understand much of what your saying, but if that's how you feel I just want to know that if that's what makes you happy.. I can get behind that, okay?" -Dean

Sam didn't cry but he gave Dean a massive hug. Emphasis on DID NOT cry those little water marks on Dean's shirt must've already been there.

Sam could only get so much from the internet so when he met another trans guy at college he was super excited and was able to learn a lot

He hated it when the showers in motels had mirrors right across from them

He'd leave the fan off intentionally so the mirror would fog up

[ceruleantinted]

divorce era parallels at full force

i’m living in a nightmare…

[spnintheyearofourlord]

Okay Dean “You know I am not much for prayin’ ‘cause in my book it’s the same as beggin’” and “I prayed to you, Cas, every night” Winchester, I see you.

[queermania]

Why does everybody hate Berens? What did he do?

apart from the j1/w*ncest crowd, i don't think people really do at all. he's kind of beloved in fandom. there is a (very small) group of us hellers, however, who have noticed that he is largely responsible for some of our least favorite things in dabb era specifically (but really just in general with how he writes). most of the angry!dean stuff comes from his episodes (he seems to be under the impression that dean is just angry and there's nothing else to it which is in stark contrast with the general dean thesis of 'i'm not mad. i'm worried.'). he also wouldn't know subtlety and nuance if it hit him over the head. and then there's all the racism, most specifically in regards to kaia, but it's in other places too. the racism is obviously the biggest issue, but it kind of gets glossed over for reasons i can only guess at but i'm sure include 'omg he's the destiel warrior! we wouldn't have destiel without him!' (which is simply not true. does robbie 'goodbye stranger' thompson mean nothing to you?)

[angelsdean]

you know what i used to do as an extremely anxious catholic school kid who did not understand the concept of confession bc "if i do something bad i can just pray directly to god and be forgiven, why do i need to tell this random strange man what i've done wrong?" and also just being a normal good kid who isn't really committing any "sins"? i used to make up fake sins djkfdsf bc legit i never knew what to SAY. i was a kid and nothing bad i did seemed big enough or important enough to need forgiveness from GOD lmao. so i'd make up stuff (nothing crazy but just little things bc legit the only real thing i ever could think to say is "i don't always listen to my parents" "i fight with my sibling") and thennn at the very end i'd say "and also sometimes i lie" so then all my fake sin lying would be forgiven ajskfdk

[4giorno]

me at the end of s14

[deanwinchesterpregnant]

s1-3 are truly the platonic ideal of supernatural i miss it so much…

[godlesscity]

i think watching goodbye stranger changed me as a person

[deankinchesterofficial]

The urge to interact with other Sam girlies VS all of them either being Winc/st shippers, Jarpiss stans, or completely media illiterate about Destiel/character nuance if it isn't about Sam

[sunforgrace]

cas never knew how devastating his loss was to dean. he didn’t know. he never witnessed the mourning. he never heard those prayers. and then

[thelostboys87]

you really just can't go back after you got queerbaited by destiel throughout the 2010s. that changes you permanently

[jade-parcels]

Wanna know what the biggest scam in the world is? College textbooks. I rent those mfs every semester off of Amazon for $30 each and open them MAYBE twice a semester… ‘assigned reading’ is always 100% optional to me :)