#he gave us alex and patience

[queermania]

Why does everybody hate Berens? What did he do?

apart from the j1/w*ncest crowd, i don't think people really do at all. he's kind of beloved in fandom. there is a (very small) group of us hellers, however, who have noticed that he is largely responsible for some of our least favorite things in dabb era specifically (but really just in general with how he writes). most of the angry!dean stuff comes from his episodes (he seems to be under the impression that dean is just angry and there's nothing else to it which is in stark contrast with the general dean thesis of 'i'm not mad. i'm worried.'). he also wouldn't know subtlety and nuance if it hit him over the head. and then there's all the racism, most specifically in regards to kaia, but it's in other places too. the racism is obviously the biggest issue, but it kind of gets glossed over for reasons i can only guess at but i'm sure include 'omg he's the destiel warrior! we wouldn't have destiel without him!' (which is simply not true. does robbie 'goodbye stranger' thompson mean nothing to you?)

[natalievoncatte]

It took four calls before Lena answered. It crawled across her side table, vibrating angrily like some persnickety insect until she gave it the attention she wanted.

You could just turn it off.

“What do you want, Danvers?”

Alex’s voice was thick.

“We can’t find Kara.”

Lena let out a slow, long, theatrical sigh. “So now you’re accusing me of crimes over the phone. At least your ex had the courtesy to cuff me in person.”

Alex’s patience was clearly short enough, and wearing thinner.

“I’m not calling you to accuse you. I’m calling you to ask for help.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because she’s burned out her powers and we can’t find her, Luthor. Supergirl is missing and she’s powerless.”

Lena licked her lips.

“Is this some kind of weird test to see if I’ll try to kill her? An entrapment scheme or something?”

“First of all,” said Alex, “fuck you.”

“Mutual,” said Lena. “What was the second part?”

“The second part is that I know you. I know you’re pissed off at her. I also know that you don’t react the way you’ve acted because your BFF lied to you, Lena. Just like I know that buying a $875 million company isn’t what friends are fucking for.”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean,” Lena snapped.

“Right. Help us find her.”

“No,” Lena said, coolly. “Goodnight, Director.”

Lena stabbed the end call key with her finger, resolving to herself that L-Corp was going to release a smart phone that made it more satisfying to hang up on people.

Then she very pointedly did not go out looking for Kara. Instead, she boiled water for tea, and spread open a technical journal on her lap.

After ten minutes, she had not drunk the tea, and her attention was sliding off the abstract like the wrong end of two magnets jammed together. Rubbing at her eyes, she decided she’d had too long a day for even light reading, and decided to enjoy a news broadcast with her tea.

Of *course* the lead story was Supergirl. She tried putting on the Lakehawks game, but that had been preempted for Supergirl coverage.

She turned to the science channel. Oh, of course they’d decided that tonight was the night to premier some ridiculous companion documentary for the World of Krypton exhibit running downtown at the convention center, and of course Lena works tune in right as Kara appeared on screen, grinning ear to ear as she charitably gave some literal kid reporter the interview of her lifetime, fielding softball questions about her dead planet.

“What do you miss most?” the kid asked.

Lena saw it, saw it the way only someone who knew Supergirl was just Kara Danvers, the nerdy, dorky, kinda basic goof in a pompous costume, could. The flash of real pain in the hero’s eyes, the softness in her voice, like she was apologizing for the honest of her answer.

“Red sunrises,” said Kara.

Lena threw the teacup across the room, and it shattered across the screen, leaving the dregs tricking down the surface. Lena wished the TV had been knocked out, but the screen was shielded by a transparent aluminum she’d invented herself.

So she changed the channel, just in time to get a face full of The Princess Bride, just as Buttercup was shoving a then-disguised Westley down the hill as he shouted the line the revealed his identity.

“Oh fuck you all,” Lena muttered, as she scooped her keys from the kitchen counter.

Lena decided it was a night for subtlety, so she took the BMW, driving with the top down and and her phone in her jacket pocket, so she could feel it if someone called.

Lena drove for the better part of an hour, reflecting on the absurdity of simply looking for Kara in a sprawling city; National City had about two thirds the population of Metropolis, but it covered nearly four times the land area and was surrounded by sprawling suburbs that extended the entire metro area to the size of a small state.

This was hopeless, unless Lena knew where to go.

You know what you have to do. You know what you’ve always had to do.

Kara answered on the third ring.

“Hi.”

Her voice was tiny and small, and Lena felt like she was clutching some small fragile thing to her cheek.

“Hey,” she said, with all the softness she could muster with the top down. She pulled to a stop on the side of Ocean Avenue so she could soften it further. “I heard what happened.”

“I beat the monster.”

“I know,” said Lena. “You always do. Where are you, Kara?”

There was a beat of silence.

“I don’t know who out you up to this, but you don’t have to do it, Lena. I know how you feel about me now.”

No, you fucking don’t, Lena thought, before she could silence her own frantic mind. If you knew you wouldn’t have lied to me.

“Tell me where you are.”

“I’m where I belong,” Kara sighed, the hint of slurring in her words hinting that she’d been drinking.

Then she hung up.

A wave of anger welled in Lena’s chest, and she clenched her teeth, seizing the shift lever to throw the car in drive and head home; Kara and her sister could handle their own bullshit.

She didn’t drive home.

Lena arrived at the convention center in a frantic five minutes, parking crazily in a towing zone. Finding a way in took another few minutes, and soon the flat soles of her tennis shoes were squeaking as they echoed across the polished granite floors of the lobby.

She found Kara in the exhibit, surrounded by quiet, dark displays as she stood in front of a bannered exhibit proclaiming “RAO, THE SUN OF KRYPTON”.

Kara ignored Lena as she approached, tipping back a sloshing, mostly empty bottle of Jack Daniels to take a hearty gulp.

“Kara?” said Lena.

Kara swayed slightly on her feet. She’d gotten a raincoat somewhere and put it on over her suit, cape and all, and even from a distance she stank of whiskey. She was staring at the display in front of her, an expansive orrery surrounding a lit model of Rao. Lena had never seen her so haggard, even her lustrous hair limp sallow.

“Hi,” Kara said, taking another drink.

“What are you doing?”

“Chasing a red sunrise.”

Lena approached slowly, until they stood side by side.

She stole a quick glance. Kara had a black eye and she was swaying slightly, and Lena wasn’t sure if it was from the booze or the fight. She started to take another drink.

Grasping the bottle by the neck, Lena took it from her. Kara didn’t resist as Lena tipped back a long pull on the bottle herself. It offended her palate in every possible way but one, but it was a good way to numb herself.

“Alex send you?”

“No,” said Lena. “She just had to tell me. She knew I’d send myself.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s a lot more observant than you are.”

Kara studied her for a moment, then reached for the bottle back.

Lena looked at it. “How much of this have you had?”

“Not enough,” said Kara, taking another drink.”

“If you insist on destroying your liver, at least let me give you something that actually tastes good.”

“It all tastes like paint thinner,” said Kara.

Lena sighed. “Get in the car.”

Kara shrugged and followed Lena out, flopping extravagantly in the passenger’s seat. Lena drove in silence, using the excuse that the wind noise made it too hard to talk.

When they arrived at Lena’s apartment, she practically shoved Kara inside, and poured the rest of the swill down the drain.

“Hey,” Kara muttered.

“There’s still some of your clothes in the guest bedroom. Take that damned suit off and put on something else.”

Kara complied, trudging into the bedroom. She emerged a moment later, looking small and sad with her hands tucked up inside an oversized hoodie, wobbling giving Lena a glassy look.

As she sat down, Lena handed her a glass of wine and perched on the edge of the couch cushion beside her, gently pressing an ice pack to her eye. Kara leaned into it and let out a soft, unsteady sigh.

“Pain hurts,” she observed.

“It’ll do that.”

Then she went quiet, sinking into Lena’s couch with Lena’s ice pack pressed to her face. Lena stepped into the kitchen and pulled out her phone. Alex answered immediately.

“I have her.”

“Thank God. I’ll be over to get her in a few minutes.”

“No you won’t,” Lena sighed.

Alex didn’t answer her for a too-long pause.

“Yeah. Call me in the morning.”

“Will do.”

Kara had found the wine bottle when Lena came back, and was taking a drink form it. Lena sat down next to her and took it, drawing on it hard before passing it back.”

“What now?” said Kara.

“Is the ice still cold?”

“Yeah.”

Kara curled up next to Lena, bringing her legs up, her toes wiggling in empty air. Lena sighed and found her a blanket, spreading it over her too carefully.

As soon as Lena sat down, Kara spread the blanket over her, too, and Lena noticed that her absurd body heat hadn’t abated from the loss of her powers.

“You have tea on your TV,” Kara observed.

“Yeah,” said Lena.

It took her a few minutes to find something on television that wasn’t Supergirl or The Fox and the Hound.

(Fucking seriously?)

Nature documentaries were Kara’s kryptonite, to turn a phrase, and soon she was sleeping on Lena’s shoulder, the ice bag fallen into her lap. Lena stared down at the soft features of the surpassingly lovely little goddess snoozing against her and couldn’t help it anymore.

She started to weep softly, her shoulders hitching as she struggled to stop it, knowing the attempt was hopeless.

It got worse when Kara began to purr, a deep and soothing rumble in her chest that seemed to seep into Lena’s bones. After a moment she realized that Kara was crying too; she’d woken up.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I’m so fucking sorry, Lena. I can’t… I can’t breathe I’m so sorry. I lost my red sunrise. I can’t lose you too. I’ll do anything. Please let me make it up to you I promise I will, please.”

Lena shifted to a more comfortable position, known this was it for the night, that something had shifted. No, shattered. She was tired of being angry, of being afraid, if thinking of could-have-beens and come-what-mays. Yes, Kara had lied. Lena had lied. They’d kept secrets and been stupid and and they’d hurt each other, but nothing in the world, no principles or closely held rules or petty anger would justify watching her suffer like this.

She was careful as she cupped Kara’s jaw, avoiding the injury, feeling a flash of rage at whoever had done this to her. (That his ass had been throughly kicked by an angry Kryptonian was irrelevant; her vengeance would not be forestalled.)

The kiss was quiet and gentle, at once too soft and quick, more request than declaration, and Kara swiftly answered with one so fierce and honest and hopeful that Lena didn’t care that Kara’s mouth tasted like whiskey and wine.

When it was over, Lena found herself whispering, “As you wish.”

[ef-1]

insane rant under the cut 🫶

Daniel is obviously going through a #moment right now so I can't really speak for the other reputation era cullings (unfollowing people) but the only one I have 0 doubts about is Zak. like imagine having the kind of temperament & patience that would put saints to shame, playing the: no, it's fine. I'm unscathed, it's all business, I get it, the entirety of my career is just collateral damage and I’ll take that in stride and its fine!!!!!! part so! Well! Like!!!! Down to a T and your wretched, fugly fucking nightmare of an ex-boss won't shut up about you, wont stop making sly, unnecessary comments unprompted- when discussing his own drivers, when discussing other teams, when discussing other fucking racing series. And you've been gone for 9 months and it's fine. You're determined to make it fine even when it's not. You're fine because it's a cut-throat sport. You're fine because you HAVE to be fine, there was never an alternative. Fine is survival. You're fine because you've been through this before (except you haven't) when you left Red Bull and Christian, jilted, said [and these are direct quotes despite how insane they seem]

“I have to admit it’s kind of been like trying to convince a girl to go out with you that’s been pretty reticent. It’s felt like that." <insane btw

“In the end we gave Daniel everything he wanted and asked for and it still wasn’t enough.”

“We’ve bent over backwards to make it happen"

And Christian said all of that while you still had 4 more months with Red Bull left. And Christian was legitimately scorned (and, terribly, he may even had the right to be because he asked you to drive him on his wedding day and he bought your nephew the same car he bought his son and he still calls your wins his favourite races), he told people as much, probably let on more than he intended to when he told the media that you told him you’re leaving A DAY before renault anounced your contract, and the proposition was so preposterous he thought you were provoking him. And he said you're running from a fight and he snidely said he still doesn't understand why you left in 2018 and 2019 and 2020 and 2021 and 2022 (<no this is not a joke) but Christian also congratulated you when you ended Renault’s 10 year podium drought, said the podium is where you belong. He congratulated you on your second podium even though that race ended in a dnf for Max and Alex finished last.

You’re fine because you’ve been through this before (except you haven’t) when you left Renault. Cyril doesn’t speak to you for weeks after the announcement is made and when he does speak TO you and ABOUT you it’s acrimonious. But his vitriol is laced with praise, he tells the media you’ll regret leaving a team which has been made more competitive by your own labours and when you’re out of his team and he’s out of the sport he meets up with you to deliver on a drunken bet made in 2019.

And you're media trained, and chillingly diplomatic for someone with such a carefree brand and you wear the horrors so fucking well, you wear it elegantly, with grace. And you shake hands and you smile when you’re supposed to and everything is made fine by the sheer force of will. Until you’re injured. Actually injured, less than 24 hours after you told the media that you didn’t need the break, that you were sick with this ubiquitous eagerness to be back all throughout summer. And you’re out again. And all your fugly fucking rat of an ex boss had to do was not use the injury that will put you out for at least 3 weeks as a vicious one liner to undermine someone else. I have no doubt that’s what did it for him :))))))

[bakeryblood]

MILF

Eddie Munson x Male Reader

cw: Explicit Language/Descriptions, Slurs

@alexs-playground

“You smell that boys?” Jason Carver, Hawkins resident star athlete, the number one runner for prom king was making his rounds of the lunch room and had settled in behind the table that held the hellfire club with his team of lackies standing on either side of him.

“Smells like faggot, right? Or am I imagining things..” He stood there in his letterman jacket, arms crossed as his friends laughed. Egging him on to continue as the younger members of the DnD club kept their eyes down. Y/N had listened to them talk about their current for weeks now as he worked at the closest Academy store a few towns over that the school had contracted with to provide new equipment and uniforms, shoes and so on. Your manager had decided who better to make the trips back and forth to make the deliveries than their employee who also went to school there.

So every shift you worked you loaded up a couple boxes into your boyfriends van and the next day you’d have to brave the mens locker room and get the coaches signature letting your boss know the school had actually received what they paid for. Eddie despised it.

Even if nothing had happened to you, and you never told him what you heard Jason and the others talking about it was like he just knew. Chrissy and Eddie this, Eddie and Chrissy that. Carver must have been the most insecure man in the school, hell it was your boyfriend he was insinuating things about. Not that he would actually put his own girlfriends reputation down by saying he was worried they were fucking but why else would he be so hung up on the topic.

Y/N squeezed Eddie’s hand that he had been holding under the table before brushing their hands against his pants, motioning for him to break his grip. Eddie shot him a look and looked over their expression. You’d gotten an idea.

Clearing your throat you slowly stood up and the jocks took a couple steps away, you were very similar to Eddie in that you had to repeat the school year several times but the difference was that you were actually intentionally intimidating. Not just because you hung out with freaks but because you had no problems with getting into a fight to defend one, it was one of the main reasons Eddie had fallen for you in the first place, you didn’t run.

“I don’t know Carver, I think you must be mistaken.” Y/N turns around with a smirk as the blonde before him gave a huff and uncrossed his arms.

“Oh yeah? Why is that?”

“Oh, well..You know a couple of days ago when your mom called the house and you picked up?” Y/N had to use all his restraint to not laugh at the way Jason’s facial expression changed to that of confusion. You’d overheard him talking about him and Chrissy hanging out and watching a movie when his mother called the house telling him she wouldn’t be home until late. At the time he had been all for it, excited even that he might get more time to attempt to put the moves on his girl.

“How do you even…get to the fucking point—“

You took a couple steps forward in a pretend attempt to make it seem like you were trying to keep the conversation hush-hush, “You know that really nice restaurant, yeah? Pretty close to your house, the Italian place.” You licked your lips as if you were reminiscing about the night, clasping your hands together as you relayed the story. “I figured since your dad is outta town why the hell not go for it right?”

“How the fuck do you even know that my dad is—“

You held up your hand to cut him off, you weren’t even close to the climax of your story. “I’m getting there, patience Jason. Anyway, I took her out to a really amazing seafood dinner.” Jason’s friends brains seemed to be catching on a lot faster than his own, which was understandable. His mother was the wife of a Deacon, well liked and affluent in the community. It was like his brain had skipped a beat while trying to process what you were saying as you said it.

“And I mean, I treated her real good, like a goddamn princess. I know that’s probably what she’s used to and all but she deserves it having a piece of shit like you for a kid.” The entire lunchroom was now hyper focused on the one sided conversation taking place. You were now mentally thanking yourself for taking those three years of drama.

“You better..” Jason took a step forward and held his finger out towards you as he lowered his voice, looking to the side and noticing how many people were listening. “You better shut the fuck up right now L/N..” You chuckled lightly an turned on your heel before taking a step onto the plastic chair you had been sitting in earlier and then taking a stand on the table.

“You gotta hear the best part though Jason. So then after we were done, I took her back to my place and fucked the absolute shit outta your mom and she fuckin’ loved it!” You bent over as you raised your voice, finishing out the end of the sentence, you then imitated the movement with your hands in front of your lap as if you were gripping onto someone’s hips.

Jason was red in face as the room broke out into howling laughs, ‘oohs and ahhs’ echoing as his eyes never left your form standing in the table. Eddie looked up at you after turning away from Jason whose chest was rising and falling with heavy angry breaths. “Run.”

As he rushed to lunge at your legs and pull you off the table you quickly made your way off the other side, kicking Dustin’s tray off as you did so much to his dismay.

“Damn Jason! Selfish much? Did you think those tits were only for you to suck on?” You yelled as you stared him down from across the table. When he made his move to start running around one side you faked to the other end. Maybe if Andy and Chance hadn’t been so busy laughing their asses off they could have helped him out in blocking your route of escape.

Eddie was smacking the table with his fist as he had long since joined the others in laughing, you were pretty damn convincing in your performance. If he hadn’t made sure almost all of either of yours’ free time was spent fucking each other or doing literally anything else he might have actually believed that you’d gotten it on with Carvers mother.

“What? Don’t like the idea of me pounding away into her while you and Chrissy were snuggled up on the couch?” Jason might’ve had the upper hand in that he could continuously give chase, his stamina was unrivaled, but you felt decently confident that even if he did catch you and beat your ass that it would be one hundred percent worth it.

“I’m going to fucking kill you!”

“Honor thy father AND thy mother Jason! You don’t wanna make god angry right? Taking away her side piece and killing me seems like it would definitely send you straight to hell!” You cackled as you weaves back and forth through the lines of tables until you saw the double doors quickly approaching.

“Get think about that next time it’s past your bedtime and you’re all snuggled up in bed, she’s moaning my fuckin’ name in mine!” You kicked bricks out of there fast as hell, bumping into the basketball coach right as he was on his way into the cafeteria, not stopping for even a second to apologize to him.

Y/N was confident that he’d stop Jason in his tracks, and when that inevitable call of his name rang over the intercom asking them to report to the office he would already be long gone. His boyfriend wiped his hot face, the tears from his exuberant laughing smearing as he did. God he loved you. He loved you so fucking much, even if you’d finally decided to listen to him for once and run.

[cosmicpiracy]

Despair in the hotel lounge

The concert had been over for a few moments and his head hadn’t stopped pounding. Alex stood near his wife in the hotel’s private lounge as Matt’s girlfriend loudly praised them for their performance. God, he loved to see his mate happy, but was she annoying sometimes!

Specially now, when his head was pounding and he could feel all of the contents in his stomach swirl like a devilish soup. He felt lightheaded.

“Are you alright?” He heard his wife whisper in a worried voice. “Al?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved her off. “I’m good.”

Truth is: he wasn’t good, at all. His head had started bothering him a few minutes before the concert, but he would be damned if he was gonna cancel on such a short notice. Being married to a doctor had its perks: you learn a thing or two. And one things he learned from his wife’s notes and case reports was how to use light painkillers and antiemetics to completely abolish pain and nausea. He also got those two kinds of medication from her purse, although he refused to tell her about his state and worry her when she had just flown over. Which he would start to regret halfway through, when the music became too loud and he thought he would pass out from the pain.

“Are you sure?” She pressed further, and it felt like she really was testing his patience. His concert wasn’t what he thought it was gonna be and now, his wife was worried.

Great. Wonderful. Fucking fantastic.

“God, woman, not everyone around you needs your worry all the time!”

There was a certain silence in the room, a sort of shock. Alex had never raised his voice at his wife. It was new.

“That was so uncalled for, Alex.” So was her calling him Alex.

Ever since they met, she refused to use what she deemed to be his “fame name”. It was always Al, or Alexander, or Turner. Never Alex - everyone called him that.

So he felt a pang in his chest the moment that word left her mouth, and the hurt intensified as he watched her walk towards Katie, Jamie’s wife, who looked at her with a puzzled expression before glaring daggers at him.

As time went on, his situation got worse. He was more and more lightheaded and doubted he could walk to the hotel room if he tried. Matt was talking his ear off yet he couldn’t understand a word.

And Alex deeply wanted his wife to take care of him. Moved by the idea of telling her what was going on, apologising and going upstairs, he got up to walk towards his wife.

Only to come crashing down to the floor.

“Alexander!”

“Mate!”

He could barely make out sounds or figures, but he knew his wife’s hands enough to know she was the one examining him. And telling the boys to help her carry him upstairs.

“He’s dehydrated. But his pulse is fine, it’s probably just low blood pressure or his blood sugar. Has he eaten?” She fired off, before scrunching her forehead and whispering while looking at Nick. “Has he taken any drugs?”

While Matt would hide any information he possibly could from her, she knew Jamie and Nick would never. So when Jaimie shook his head, she knew that this could be ruled off. “Good. What about his sleep schedule?”

“I wouldn’t know, Doc, I’m not a grown man’s babysitter!” Matt snickered and Alex was sure Helders had absolutely no idea what his missus looked like when infuriated, which is why when he went quiet for a second, Alex assumed she gave him the glare while they lowered him on the mattress.

“Tour’s been hectic.” Nick told her. “Al’s been working nonstop for a few days. He wanted to be free when you got here, since you are only staying till Prague.” Alexander could feel his wife’s guilt from the bed when she saw the boys off, thanking Nick and Jamie for the information, telling Matt to take it out of his arse in a playful manner.

“Al, my love, what happened?” She stroke his cheek affectionately, starting to undo the buttons of his shirt. “Can you talk? Jesus, you are sweating too much. What are you feeling?” Alex did not have the strength to say it, but pointed at his head. “Headache?” He nodded before feeling her sit him up to take off his shirt. Alex took the moment to inhale her scent from her skin, while his weakened arms held on to her when she tried to move away. “Alexander, I’m going to take off your pants.”

With a lazy smirk, he gathered all his strength to snort. “Take me out first.” His wife just rolled her eyes.

“Oh, I will, Mr. Turner.” She said. “I’ll get you some medicine and give you a hot bath for your muscles, ok? Hang on in there.”

And she did. She gave him medicine and waited, to make sure it was going to stay inside and directed him to the bath. It’s was warm, but not enough to make his skin red with the heat. Just pleasantly warm.

Alex admired his beautiful wife, her hair in a bun, her focused eyes as she stripped to her underwear, got a bottle of liquid soap and sat behind him.

“I’m sorry for being such a dickhead to you.” He sighed as she dispersed the soap on his back and squeezing his sore neck muscles in the process. “You were looking out for me and I screwed it all up.”

“C’mon, Al, we’re good. Everything is alright, love.”

“It isn’t! It really isn’t!” He was getting worked up, she could tell. After a few years together, she knew him like the medical schemes she memorised through medschool. “George told me about the horrible shifts you had been havin and the awful cases in the morgue and how you were so tired you were taking the train instead of driving and all I wanted was for you not to worry when you were here!” He sighed, and she rinsed the soap from his skin, kissing his head lightly as he winced at his own volume. “To spend your time with me and rest.”

“Al, you are too sweet!” His wife nestled her face in his neck, kissing a bit of the skin. He intertwined their fingers. “You have absolutely no idea of how good it is just to be around you. How refreshing it was to get on that plane and know I was going to be in your arms soon.” She whispered in his ear, smiling like an idiot. “Thanks for taking care of me. Really. I could just see how tired you were, and wanted to take care of you too.” She got him out of the bathtub, drying his torso sweetly. “Isn’t that what marriage is? Two people caring for one another?” He smiled as she bopped his nose before sealing their lips together.

“But-“

“No buts, Alexander. You bought the flights, I shoo away your headaches, you sing me to sleep and I shower you in all my love and affection in the morning.” She laughed lowly as they layed in bed, his head resting in her chest. “You have no concerts tomorrow, right?” He just nodded. “Then, I proclaim bedrest for you for the whole day.” He hummed and she carded her fingers through his hair lovingly. “You are sentenced to a whole day in bed with me.”

“Clothes or no clothes?”

“Your choice.”

He hummed, as if analysing his possibilities.

“No clothes it is.” He declared. “Can you sing me to sleep today, love?”

“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you, tomorrow I’ll miss you…”

@mywritingonlyfans @ohladymoon

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 17

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 36k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: This took me way too long and I'm so very sorry but it's officially the longest chapter of this series and I hope it's worth the wait. Had a bit of this written for a while and I'm so glad to be finally sharing it with you all, it's one of my favourite moments in this story. Thank you so much for your patience and your constant love, I truly appreciate it and I'm sending all the love to you guys. Hope you enjoy!!!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Bonnaroo was always good to her. Being home, spending time with her sister and her best friend, seeing her parents and just enjoying life in her hometown always filled her with the rawest, and most exhilarating amount of happiness. But this year, the Monkeys would come along and that was a promise of an even better time.

Ever since the very first time they attended the festival, Ella and Lily took their mother's car and their friends would go on the backseats, all of them screaming together the lyrics of whichever songs would play on the radio as they made their way to the festival grounds.

The chatter would grow loud as they parked and then put up their tents. Excitement bubbling up inside them, making them toss and turn all night until they gave up and decided to just drink and laugh outside on the grass until they noticed the time and had to crawl into their tents and pass out from exhaustion.

And it was no different this time around.

It was surreal how every time she went to the festival, Ella felt like she was sixteen again—finally attending the event and camping without parents so they could finally get shit-faced and high without having to worry about being caught by their parents—only this time the ache in the bones and their lower backs reminded them that they were approaching their late 20s.

Still, they enjoyed every day of the festival like it'd be their last.

Ella was joined by her sister Lily and Jayne, her best friend, who had brought her fiance, Lewis, alongside with her. Lewis had been coming along for a fair few years then, instantly earning the Hayes sisters approval after he had joined them for the first time, and he was always very enthusiastic about the tradition.

The first day of the festival was incredible as per usual. Everyone in attendance was high on energy and ready for the long four days that awaited them, the crowds screaming along and cheering for the acts, the air filled with the scent of weed and nicotine, people dancing and singing, flags waving in the air.

Ella would sigh and smile brightly every five minutes. So good to be home, she thought at the sight of muddy cowboy boots and beer filled cups.

The group went around the different stages, enjoying the music with Tennessee whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

And that same thing happened every single day.

On day two they'd enjoyed watching bands like CHVRCHES and Vampire Weekend, stuffing their faces with Mexican food until they had to sit down to recharge their energy.

Day three had been when they saw Cage The Elephant, Damon Alabarn—who Ella and Lily had gone crazy upon seeing so close. If Alex thought Ella had gone insane when she called him after seeing that cover of the NME magazine where he stood beside the Blur and Gorillaz lead singer, he would've thought she had gone fully mad at the festival. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds had been another highlight of the Saturday and the great Jack White had been the one to close the day.

Saturday had been a long day but despite the exhaustion that exuded from the group as they walked back to their car and tents, Ella was still buzzing with energy. The sole reason for the evaporation of her tiredness and the rush of adrenaline that surged through her was the knowledge that the Monkeys were on their way there and would be in the same place as her in the morning.

There had been a skip in her step and she was humming a Fleetwood Mac song under her breath as she walked with her sister to the Plaza to take a shower. And Lily had frowned at her the whole time because not even when they got back to their tents, and they watched Jayne and Lewis leave for the showers, did the director show any signs of being worn out by the long day and wanting to rest.

"G'night weirdo." Lily said to her sister as she went inside her tent.

She winced when Ella replied, "Night! Love you!" in an obnoxiously chipper tone to have at almost two in the morning.

After smoking a cigarette to calm herself down, Ella went inside her tent and tossed and turned all night until she finally fell asleep. The last thing she remembered before succumbing to her slumber was her phone screen flashing a quarter to four in the morning.

Regardless of how little she'd slept, Ella still sprung out of her sleeping bag at around eight in the morning. A little over four hours of sleep was all she'd gotten, and yet it was as if she'd had the longest sleep of her life from how energized she was—she looked like a pinball going from one place to the other and getting ready as quickly as she could to go see if the band had gotten there already.

Ella called Bre a handful of times as she brushed her teeth and did her skin care, muttering profanities every time her calls went to voicemail. She knew she was being awful, blasting her best friend's phone so early in the morning but she was too eager to see them all again, she just couldn't help herself.

Finally, when Ella was power walking back from the Plaza to her tent, Bre picked up the phone and Ella greeted her with a screech and a hasty, "Where are you guys?! Have you arrived yet?!"

When Bre confirmed that the tour bus was parked by the artist's area, Ella ran the rest of the way back to where they had set up camp. After hastily dropping everything inside her bag, she set off with Bre still on the phone to try and find each other.

It took them about twenty minutes to do so, after a lot of chaos heard through the phone and Bre getting lost a few times, and when Ella managed to see the model from afar, a knot formed in her throat.

Tears spilled down her face as she ran towards Bre and when they finally collided into each other's arms, almost falling in the process from how hard they'd bumped into the other, it all felt right again.

They swayed in each other's arms, sniffling from the emotion that overcame them, and it was Ella who pulled back and swallowed a sob to shout softly, "You're engaged!"

"I know!" Bre said in the same volume, breathlessly, still unable to wrap her head around the fact that Matt had gotten down on one knee as they walked down the streets of Amsterdam and proposed to her.

"What the fuck?!" Ella whisper-shouted, looking down at Bre's left hand and her eyes went wide at the sight of the big diamond ring, "Holy shit, that's a rock!"

"I fucking know!!" Bre repeated herself, the state of shock that had bathed her for the past six days made her giggle though.

The model threw herself in the arms of the director again, enjoying having her best friend back again, sighing in bliss and frankly saying, "I missed you."

"Missed you more babe." Ella replied easily, "So much." She could feel even more tears pooling in her eyes and threatening to spill, she had to close her eyes harshly so as not to become a mess of tears.

The second she closed her eyes, Ella missed the sight of a disheveled Alex who came out of the tour bus rubbing his eyes with a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, dressed in a white shirt and some grey joggers.

It was Alex who noticed her first, managing to blink a few times until he was decently awake. Enough for him to see a face he'd been yearning to see up close for too long.

He plucked the cigarette out of his mouth in a haste, shoving it inside the pocket of his joggers before letting out a breathy, "Ella?" that made her open her eyes in a split second.

Ella felt like the air had been stolen from her lungs, a mere squeak coming from her before she let go of Breana and moved towards Alex.

The singer was faster than her, like a magnetic pull had made him dash up to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her and lifting her up the ground as he hugged her. Her legs instinctively went around his waist, her arms clutching him impossibly tight over his shoulders, almost like she wanted to become one with him and never be teared away from him.

"Oh god." Ella muttered in between tears, trying to keep her emotions at bay seemed like an impossible task then when being in Alex's arms brought back all that she'd been missing the past month and a half.

"Darling." Alex whispered in her ear, a mix of relief and hurt that she understood so well. "Fuck, I missed you so much." He added as he inhaled her scent, letting himself indulge in the feeling of her wrapped all around him.

God had he fucking missed her.

"Me too." Ella sniffled as she said, her words coming out broken as she tried not to audibly cry.

Alex went to put her down and pull back to calm her down but she held on tighter, like a koala, shaking her head softly as she pleaded, "No, stay a little longer."

They stayed like that for a few more seconds, until Ella started slipping down despite Alex's tight grasp on the back of her thighs. She let herself stand back up, slowly peeling herself off Alex to finally see his face and she cooed at the sight of his bedhead and his puffy eyes.

"Awh, sweets. Did you just wake up?" She brushed his hair back softly, trying to tame the strands of hair that fell all over his forehead and tickled the lids of his eyes.

He hummed in confirmation, his cheeks tinting a subtle pink that didn't go unnoticed by her. She giggled under her breath and he brought his right hand to her waist to pinch her flesh softly to scold her for laughing at him.

"How've you been? Has the festival been good so far?" Alex changed the topic, his eyes catching Bre with a smirk on her face closely watching the scene unfold in front of her.

Just as Ella nodded and corrected his wording by saying, "Amazing." Alex watched as Breana winked at him and left for the bus, possibly going back inside the vehicle to wake her fiance up.

Alex was relieved to be alone with Ella just as the girl added, "But it just got a thousand times better."

He could freely smile like an absolute idiot and dip down to press a bunch of kisses all over her face as he mumbled, "Aren't you cute?" He could hear the twang of her southern accent weaving around her words and it was doing things to him.

Ella giggled stupidly as he attacked her face with short sweet pecks, the apples of her cheeks aching from how hard she was smiling by the time he ended up kissing down her jaw and left one last kiss on the side of her neck before he stated, "Love you."

"Love you too." She reciprocated, letting her arms cross around the back of his neck, fingers going up to his hair and his eyes fluttered at the feeling of her nails scratching softly on his scalp.

"God, I missed you." His words came out like a groan, one that reverberated against her chest and awoke a fire that she'd been trying to keep contained for the past few months. A fire that she had been trying to ignore, like the wind could sizzle down the flames until they dropped to a few agonizing sparks all on its own.

Ella couldn't not admit, "Missed you more."

But Alex shook his head to prove his point, "Impossible."

Nothing could compare anymore. After coming to terms with how he truly felt about Ella, it was like he was burning up alive at that very moment, wanting nothing more than to scream it out for everyone to hear—how it was only her, how badly he wanted to just be able to kiss her and hold her and never have to be away from her, as selfish as that sounded.

"Where are the rest of the guys?" Ella asked once she pulled back from the hug, snapping Alex out of his trance. She could see the way he looked at her and it was making her knees weak.

Does he realize the way he's looking at me? She thought, wanting to tell him to stop and have some mercy on her heart. She could only bear so much.

Clearing her throat, she made a stupid question to which she already knew the answer to, "Kelly and Katie came along, yeah?"

Alex still nodded, despite knowing that Ella had been on facetime with the two a few days before and just talking about how much fun it'd be once they got to see each other again. "Mhm. They're still asleep."

Ella was about to wince and apologize for coming by so early when a familiar voice rang behind her saying, "Yeah not me."

She turned around quickly and a massive smile appeared back on her face, rushing towards the drummer to hug him and cheer about the latest news, "Helders! Congratulations!"

"Ah, thanks Ellie." He said back, leaving a kiss on her temple and then pulling away to ask, "How's it going?"

"Great! Good to have y'all home." Her stomach flipped just by saying that aloud, like it made it even more real and she couldn't believe it. She had to hold back from pinching herself just in case she was dreaming.

Matt raised his brows at the way she was smiling, gently elbowing her to point out, "Looks like you're up to no good with us here now."

It was then that her sweet smile changed to a smirk, one that didn't match the raise of her hands as if declaring innocence while she promised, "Me? Nooooo. I'm just tryna make sure y'all have the best time over here."

Right then, Bre appeared back at the door of the tour bus and waved Ella over, leaving her fiance to not be able to scoop anything out of Ella about what she had been planning for them now that they were in her hometown.

With a skip in her step, Ella made way to the bus and followed Bre inside. They softly walked into the lounge and sat in the black leather settee, whispering as they started to chat so that they wouldn't wake the rest of the group up.

However, when Matt and Alex walked back inside and they joined the two girls in the lounge, their volume got louder and it ended up waking everyone up.

Nick was the first to come out to the lounge, rubbing his eyes until he saw Ella sitting there with Alex's arm draped over her shoulders and he froze in his place only to quickly walk up to her and hug her tightly.

Just as Ella was about to ask about Kelly, the pregnant woman came out wobbling her way down the slim hallway. Her face lit up when she saw the American girl there with them after so long. Ella, of course cried when she hugged her and saw the amount that her bump had grown. It was so mental to think that Kelly was already five months along.

Jamie and Katie came out of the bunk area twenty minutes later, actually looking ready for the day unlike everyone else in the lounge.

"When are you gonna make me an auntie then?" Ella said teasingly after hugging the couple, congratulating them properly for their marriage then, and shedding some more tears over the love she had for them.

"Don't." Alex warned as he shook his head, "They're already horrendous. Don't encourage them."

Laughter filled the room at the despair the singer let shine through his words. Alex was so happy to hear Ella's laugh right by his ear again, having her lean into him as she giggled, her hand coming to squeeze his thigh softly and leaving her warm touch there until she inevitably moved.

Ella's phone rang loudly interrupting their conversation, and when she saw that it was her sister and that it was nearly eleven in the morning, she let out a gasp. Excusing herself to answer the phone, Ella walked out of the bus.

Alex didn't even think twice before getting up from his seat and following her, grabbing a cigarette pack from the table and a lighter to take with him.

"Yeah, I know." He heard Ella say to her sister on the phone, "Just get ready and I'll be there in a bit. I'm gonna get you the passes and we can pack up before coming here so we're ready to leave tonight."

His steps were quiet as he approached her so Ella didn't know he was there until she felt his touch on her waist. He had the cigarette he'd pocketed earlier between his lips and offered Ella the open packet so that she could take one for herself.

"Thanks." Ella mumbled softly, taking the cigarette up to her mouth and letting Alex light it up for her. She gave him a sweet smile after she took the first drag, her expression changing in a split second when she heard her sister complaining on the other side of the phone, "Yeah, yeah. I know, don't be dramatic! Just get your stuff and I'll deal with mine, thanks. Stop being such a bitch, live a little!"

Alex chuckled, this sassy side of her wasn't something he saw often and he fucking loved it. He loved her. He sighed in bliss at the feeling washing over him, feeling her skin under his fingertips and watching her just existing was everything to him.

"Shut up! You're so annoying!" Ella scolded with an eye roll, "I'll be there in a bit, stop complaining. One will think you actually miss me when I'm gone." She taunted her sister who only scoffed in response. "Okay, give me five minutes. Bye bitch."

Alex had his brows raised as she ended the call and she was met with him holding back his laughter when she turned to the side.

"She's impatient, okay?" Ella excused her word choice, "She's complaining about me being late on my way back and her having to pack up my stuff. Which won't happen at all, 'cause I'm literally going back in a bit!"

Alex only hummed, siding with her, and Ella smiled at the confirmation that she was correct. "Want me to bring you the passes? Steve left them somewhere in the lounge."

She nodded, knowing it would only be a matter of time before her sister started blowing up her phone again. "Please? The quicker I go back, the sooner I can be back here."

The smile that pulled at the corners of Alex's mouth was intoxicating and the way he squeezed her waist before going back in the bus made her knees weak. Ella almost choked on the smoke she was inhaling as she watched him walk away, the rising sun already harshly hitting her skin wasn't helping her calm down.

She fanned herself with both of her hands, letting out a long sigh and she closed her eyes for a few seconds just thinking about how long the day would be. Yet, she was so incredibly excited for everything that it would bring.

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Just before her sister could start annoying her all over again, Ella managed to arrive back to where they'd been camping. In a haste, she got properly ready for the day, doing her makeup quickly and packing away her things to throw in the boot of her mom's car before turning back to undo her tent and help organize everything in the car.

It was by noon that everything was secured away in the car, ready to leave once the festival was over. They placed the lanyards with their AAA passes around their necks—Ella hanging the strap of her camera around her neck as well—and walked the way back to where the Monkeys were at.

Surreal was how Ella would describe introducing Lily, Jayne and Lewis to the band, two different sides of her life colliding and her heart was soaring at the sight. The fact that they blended in together nicely and the group was enjoying themselves assured Ella's smile to never leave her face.

They spent a good part of the start of the day drinking and eating by the artist's tents, watching the way that the band's crew went about making sure everything was fine and ready to set up later, chatting and laughing as they got to know each other more.

Ella had been drinking whiskey and coke, taking leisurely sips while she heard Jayne's horror stories as a nurse which the lads had been enjoying so much, they managed to get her to share loads of her worst experiences.

"No, trust me, you don't wanna know how we ended up taking that out." Jayne winced as she recalled, visibly shivering at the memory.

The group groaned in unison, making Ella laugh despite being disgusted herself. She went to take the last of her drink, she barely took a sip before her cup was empty. She turned to Alex to signal that she was gonna get a refill, the singer nodding and actually going with her.

Quite a lot of people were gathered around the place so getting to order took a bit of waiting. A few minutes that Ella took to snap a few pictures. One or two of her surroundings and the last one of Alex, who posed with a hand on his hip and a big smile on his face for her.

Alex watched in adoration as she pushed the lever and then turned off the camera to let it rest against her stomach again, Ella's face was glowing under the sun but it wasn't because of the faint sheet of sweat that was starting to coat her skin thanks to the weather, more because of how incredibly happy she was at that moment.

If he couldn't find it in himself to tell her everything just yet, then he could at least share with her something that he'd been keeping to himself for the past month.

"I've got news." He whispered in her ear after snaking his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him.

"Oh?" She perked up and turned to see him, "What is it? You gonna share with everyone?" She was certainly intrigued by the look on his face, and she was thinking of just getting another drink later so that they could go back to the group and he could tell everyone.

But he surprised her by shaking his head, plainly stating, "Just you for now."

Ella wasn't going to admit the way her heart leapt from her chest at the mysteriousness of it all. She prayed he couldn't hear the loudness of her erratic heartbeat and that it wouldn't show on her face how hard she was trying not to anticipate something that he couldn't give her. Her subconscious hoped for a combination of words that made her want to yell at herself, feeling pathetic when the spark of hope made her stomach flip.

She forced it all aside, trying to act cool as she played with her choice of words, "Oh, right. What have you done, Turner?" She crossed her arms, adding a bit of distance in between them, her brow raising as if challenging him for an answer.

"Got a house in Los Angeles."

He was grinning already as he said that but watching how her jaw dropped at the news had him giving the Cheshire cat some competition.

After a few beats of silence, a very delayed gasp and a loud, "What?!" came from her.

All his big smile would allow for was a soft mumbled "Yeah..." that only awoke a million questions in her mind.

"When? How? Where?" She lets them all spill in a split second, a mush of words confusing enough to make the singer giggle.

Ella watched him, expectant for answers, so much going through her head that she really needed the bartender to hurry up and get to her.

He rested his beer bottle on the top of a table they were standing by, turning it around in its place as he explained, "I didn't go with them that time, to that amusement park. Instead, I got in touch with Matt's estate agent and started working with her and she found me a bunch of options, but I ended up settling down for one a few minutes away from Helders."

"Are you joking?" She had to ask just to make sure, as if there was a possibility of Alex joking about such a thing.

"Why would I be?" He quipped back, brows furrowing for a split second before his grin won over again and made his frown loosen up. His hand was still placed on her waist, rubbing circles on the skin that showed as her shirt had ridden up when she crossed her arms. "They accepted my offer last week and they're finalizing a few things before we sign and we close the sale. So I'm getting the house before the end of the month."

Ella was still frozen in place, though her arms had fallen limp at her sides after the shock of the initial revelation. His relentless, yet delicate touch was the only thing that reminded her that time was still moving forward, so she managed to let out, "You're moving in by the end of the month?" entirely in disbelief.

He was really enjoying this, despite the fact that he was trying hard to decipher all that was going through her, grin unwavering on his lips as he shrugged like it wasn't that big of a deal. "If all goes well."

Like a switch had been flipped, it suddenly clicked inside her mind that it was real, she couldn't help but whisper-shout, "Shut up. Shut up!" before throwing her arms around his neck and mumbling in his ear, "Holy shit Alex!!"

"You happy?" Alex asked, pathetically really. He wanted to kick himself for asking, he was being so fucking transparent but he just couldn't help it.

"Of course I am! I–" She hastily said as she pulled back to see his face, that toothy grin still on his face and it melted her insides, "What the fuck?! Congratulations!"

She enveloped him in a hug again, he clutched her tightly as whispered in her ear, "Thank you darling." A squeak came from her in response, eliciting giggles from him.

"Won't be getting rid of me now." He joked, it seemed lighthearted but god did he know he wouldn't want to leave her side if they were going to be living in the same city.

"I fucking know." Ella replied, and it sounded like relief was wrapped around her words. Alex's heart leapt from his chest when she breathlessly added after she pulled back, "That better be a promise, sweetness."

"It is." He nodded softly, staring right into those gorgeous hazel green eyes of hers. "'Course it is."

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Less than a minute after Ella had finished freaking out about the news Alex had given her, the man behind the bar had taken her order and given her a new drink.

Walking back to where the group was, Ella's head was a tornado of a million thoughts. Her throat was dry and her stomach flipped thinking about how Alex would be just less than an hour away, no oceans in between to keep her away from exploring a place in her heart that she'd been avoiding, all of those threads of thoughts that she'd been shoving aside.

It felt so real then, everything he made her feel, every thought he sparked in her mind just by being. There were no excuses that she could hide herself behind anymore, and she was honestly terrified by the inevitability of it all.

She started feeling nauseous, all because of how every thought would cause her stomach to do somersaults and butterflies swirled every corner inside her. Ella was stiff in her place and struggling to focus and get absorbed back into the conversation, and it didn't go unnoticed by Alex.

With ease, his right hand came to rest on her lower back and delicately he let his touch drag until his fingers clutched onto her waist, leaving goosebumps to break on her skin in his wake. A step to his right so her shoulder brushed against his chest, the proximity now letting him rest his chin on her shoulder and ask in a whisper if she was alright.

She turned her head to the left and was met with his face just a few inches away from hers, their breaths mixing together in between their parted mouths and she could only nod. She turned back around, looking forward in an attempt to focus on the conversation that flowed in the group again. Her throat had gone dry so she took a sip of her drink, and another one, and another one. Until the alcohol in her system and the warmth of Alex's touch made her head light and fuzzy and she relaxed on him, her back falling nicely to rest against his chest.

Alex smiled when he felt her finally relax, unable to hold himself back from leaving a kiss on her temple. His lips pressed on her skin for a good few seconds, inhaling her scent and trying really hard not to close his eyes and stupidly hum in bliss in front of everyone. It would be too obvious, but it wasn't like he wasn't being entirely transparent thus far.

Everyone could see it so clearly and, though the band had gotten used to the pair acting that way, Lily and Jayne were the ones to exchange knowing looks every passing minute when they watched all that Ella and Alex silently did.

Breana had caught onto their looks and when the crew of the band had called them up to give them their in-ears and get them ready for stage, the model walked up to them with a knowing smirk and let them know, "They're always like that." When the two girls raised their brows as if silently asking 'really?', Bre nodded, "I know, they're insufferably oblivious. But just wait for them to get drunk, they get worse."

And that, Lily and Jayne were eager to see. But first, the Monkeys had to go on stage and perform to the sea of people that were cheering for them to come out on stage.

Before they could leave, Ella made everyone get together to take pictures. A few with her own camera but most of them with her phone so it was easier to ask someone from the lads' crew to take a picture of them all.

She smiled when looking at the results, her heart swelling in her chest seeing all the people she adored in one frame.

When she looked up, she caught a glimpse of a tan straw cowboy hat that the guys had been gifted, and getting an idea, she took it with her up to where Alex was standing, in front of a mirror by their trailer brushing his hair back after having put gel in it.

She cleared her throat to get his attention, his smile flashing for her through the mirror before he turned around.

There wasn't even a prompt from her before she placed the hat on his head, not caring about messing up the task of fixing his hair he'd just done.

A chuckle slipped past his lips when she smirked and took two steps backwards, swiftly turning on her camera and bringing it up to her eyes so she could take a picture she knew she'd love.

"How do I look?" Alex asked her while adjusting the hat on his head, giving her a twirl that had her smirking.

"Like you were meant to be a cowboy." She concluded as she perfected the focus of the frame, fighting herself not to bite her bottom lip and make it obvious that she was having the most sinful thoughts about him.

Not that it wasn't obvious to him, the way her eyes darkened and went all over him with a speed that screamed she was trying to enjoy every bit of her view. He smirked back and teased, "Do I?"

Pathetically honest, she nodded, pressing the shutter and rolling the film before walking towards him. She stood flush against his chest, after having moved the camera to her side so it wouldn't come between the proximity she so longed to have with him.

Fixing the collar of his striped shirt which clearly didn't need to be fixed, Ella hummed, "Mhm, just missing a bolo tie and your very own boots." Her hands brushed over the fabric on his shoulders and then smoothed down his chest. Her eyes wandered everywhere as her touch went over him and when she looked down and past that big buckled belt he had on to hold his black jeans in place, she saw his choice of shoes and gulped harshly at how well it all tied together, "Though those chelsea boots you've got on work well."

Alex couldn't bite his tongue any longer, his insides lighting on fire under her attentive gaze and he wanted to get a reaction out of her. So, with a smirk still plastered on his face, he clicked his tongue and played, "Right, stop flirting with me."

In a split second, she blushed hard like he had caught her red handed and there wasn't a way for her to fight against the accusation. Her tongue tangled in itself, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of the water and choking on the words stuck in the back of her throat, before the only recognizable sound was a weak, "I'm not–" that she interrupted to just tell him to "Shut up!" as she playfully shoved him away from her.

"Joking! I'm joking!" He said loudly in between laughter, she didn't want to smile to keep her facade on but there was no way she could force the corners of her lips not to lift when the sound of his giggles reached her ears. Yet, she still hid her bright red face behind her hands so he wouldn't get the pleasure of seeing what his words could do to her.

Taking a few steps to close the distance, one of his arms wrapped around her waist. She tried stepping away but he leaned into her space, keeping her flush against her chest. She felt so warm, she shrieked when he kept her trapped in his hold.

Her body temperature only rose when he dipped down further so that his lips brushed against her ear and he whispered in a sultry tone, "You can flirt with me all you want."

Every sound she could let out after that died in her tongue, her breath hitching in her throat as he dropped a singular peck on the side of her neck before pulling her up with him and leaving her with a squeeze of her waist, taking the hat off his head and putting it on hers.

Stupefied. She was completely stupefied.

She couldn't really dwell on her lack of thought or words though, because the guys were taken to wait by the stairs on the left side of the stage that would bring them right onto the stage in a few minutes. All the while, Ella was snatched away by the girls and Lewis who were being escorted to the other side of the stage where they'd be taken up to the balcony.

When they were settled there, Ella was blown away by the perfect view of the stage and the enormous crowd in front of the stage, all enduring the merciless sting of the sun to sing along to the songs the Monkeys were gonna perform for them. Lily, Jayne and Lewis were just as thrown aback by the scene.

There was no time to really process the moment, that Alex and the guys were headlining the festival she'd always known, that they'd be part of a tradition that very much defined a huge part of her life; because the lads walked into the stage and the roaring cheers of the crowd, filled the group on the balcony with adrenaline that was only heightened when, after Alex greeted the crowd and introduced themselves, the strums of the guitar for the start of 'Do I Wanna Know?' broke through the speakers.

After joining the dots about the song back in May, hearing it ignited a spark that burned her insides. Her chest felt like it was on fire whenever she heard him sing the lines she now knew he'd written with her in mind.

But hearing it live, the bass shaking her bones just as much as each word he sang in that voice of his that made her knees weak, was so much different. It felt like something inside her shifted, an impatience poking at every one of her nerve endings, one that longed for something she had no idea how to start, how to bring up.

She thought it was so obvious what she was thinking about, the hope for it all to move along shining on her face and a dust of pink flush rushing to her cheeks whenever he made eye contact with her throughout the song.

The fact that 'Snap Out Of It' followed as the second song they were performing didn't help either. Knowing explicitly from Alex himself that the song had been written about her made her stomach flip, every rasp of his voice made her want to sink to her knees on the floor. Thinking about Alex being jealous and writing the song about her when she was in another relationship made her bite her bottom lip not to smile like a fool.

Slowly, Ella was getting her hopes up and she didn't know if it was a good thing or not. Would she be brave enough to do something about it? She had no idea and she didn't want to think about it. Focusing back on dancing and singing along with the girls, she willed herself to worry about the what-ifs later.

It seemed like Alex had gone for the kill when he went to introduce the third song, Ella's heart exploded in her chest when he walked up to the microphone and strummed his guitar once before telling the crowd, "Bonnaroo, I gotta tell you about a girl named Arabella!"

He made it seem like his finger pointing to the right side of the stage, where the group was enjoying the gig from, was entirely accidental but Bre, Katie and Kelly squeaked knowing what Alex had really tried to do. After all, they knew the song was about Ella, and Bre made sure to tell Lily, Jayne and Lewis about it with a brief and yelled aloud, "This one is about her!"

Ella's cheeks tinted bright pink when the trio stared at her with their mouths agape. It really was a valuable piece of information that they couldn't believe Ella hadn't shared and Lily knew then that she'd need to properly shower her with a million questions because Ella was hiding more than she'd imagined. She thought her sister had a crush and she was just then witnessing how it seemed reciprocated but the fact that she had a song written about her—such a song as well—genuinely shocked her. There was so much more Lily didn't know of and she hoped Jayne would help her interrogate her sister.

The alcohol in her system helped Ella let loose, dancing with the girls and loudly singing along, her chest puffed out like it filled her with pride that such a good song was one she was the muse for.

She watched as Alex snatched the mic from the stand and walked over the their side, her mouth moved as she sang but her breath hitched in her throat and she stopped being able to follow along when he went down on one knee and pointed at her as he sang, "Baby she's a modern lover, it's an exploration, she's made of outer space."

Jayne gasped beside her, loudly approving with a "Yes, Alex!" that fully flew over Ella's head when she watched Alex stand up and this time turn to the crowd to continue singing, "Her fucking lips are like the galaxy's edge, and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place."

She couldn't deny she wasn't loving it, the clear signs only fed her and she just couldn't wait to have him walk off stage so she could throw herself in his arms. Her lips almost tingled with the need to kiss her and right that second she couldn't care less about messing things up or complicated them, she just wanted to kiss him.

After 'Arabella' came 'Brianstorm' and what no one but the band knew, 'Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair' was meant to follow. Matt had been the one to put together the setlist so 'Teddy Picker' hadn't been placed anywhere in it, and Alex had only noticed before walking on stage when someone from their crew showed them a copy of the setlist before going up on stage and securing it with tape on the floor.

Alex couldn't play in Ella's hometown, in a festival that meant so much to her, and not perform her favorite song. So he had made sure to tell the lads they were changing the fifth song for 'Teddy Picker'.

Still, just in case they had forgotten, he had taken a second to make sure they all knew it was coming after they finished 'Brianstorm'. Thanks to the loud cheering from the crowd, the group up on the balcony didn't hear Alex loudly saying, "Teddy next, yeah?" to Matt first as he sipped on his beer and then turning to Jamie and Nick mouthing, "Teddy Picker" so that they knew exactly what to do.

The second the first strums of the guitar came through the speakers, Ella screeched at the sign of her favorite starting. She enjoyed every second of it like she hadn't before and when the song was over, she made sure to blow Alex a kiss as a thank you. She swooned internally when he made a ruse of catching it in the air, and pressing it to his heart before blowing a kiss back to her.

So many feelings rushed through her that she felt like she was weightless as she danced. Each line that she sang along to with her friends and sister felt so much more fulfilling in the setting they were in.

Alex took over the stage like it was the place he was meant to be all along, smoothly and entrancing, his voice keeping everyone hypnotized and singing along at the top of their lungs. The crowd swayed like the ocean along the tunes that the band was effortlessly playing, their volume rising when they played 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor'.

The crowd slowed down when they started playing 'She's Thunderstorms' and Ella was entirely bewitched by him, his voice ringing in her ears and lulling her every sense. All she could think, see, hear, was him. The beating of her heart grew erratic and her breath caught in her throat when Alex turned to the right side of the stage and looked up at her as he sang, "She's been loop-the-looping around my mind / Her motorcycle boots give me this kind of / Acrobatic blood, concertina / Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire."

When the song died down by its end, Ella was struggling to keep herself together. So when 'No.1 Party Anthem' started, a wave of memories flooded Ella's mind with such force that just let the tears that had gathered in her waterline roll down her cheeks with ease. She was so emotional, sniffling as she sang along while Breana hugged her from behind over her shoulders. All Ella could think about though, was running into Alex's arms and just staying there for the rest of the night.

Thankfully, the next three songs picked her mood up and got her dancing again. Tears were wiped and dried on her cheeks as she danced with the girls, giggling and loudly singing along, enjoying every second left on the band's set.

The second to last song being 'I Wanna Be Yours' pushed her back into an emotional state though. This time around he stole a glance at her as he strummed his guitar by the beginning, when his hand wrapped delicately around the microphone on its stand and he started singing, he kept his eyes closed as if feeling every word in his soul the whole time.

She watched as he lost himself in every line and she selfishly wished he had opened his eyes and looked at her, how she was reciting each word with conviction but it was so much more than repeating the words she knew so well. It was so much more than being a good member of the crowd and proudly singing along with him.

It all was making so much sense to her, and it scared her but she was starting to run out of places to escape from her feelings, denial slipping away from her fingers to protect her.

'R U Mine?' was the last on the setlist and it was mesmerizing to see every time how it brought together the show and it left the crowd with an indescribable high rushing through their bloodstream.

Ella stared intently at every single move Alex would make, her gaze transfixed on the ease in which his fingers moved along the neck of his guitar and the way his hips would move along to the song.

She was almost drooling at the sight of it all and when the song was over and the band bid the crowd farewell, she dashed down the balcony stairs and the ones on the side of the stage to meet the guys again on the grass.

A soft, "Oof" stumbled past Alex's lips when Ella thudded against his back. Her arms wrapping around his shoulder and the fact that she jumped made him automatically hold the backs of her thighs so he held her in a piggy back ride.

"Y'all are amazing!" She exclaimed before leaving a loud wet kiss on the side of the singer's face.

She let herself fall back to stand on the ground, just as he giggled in response to the sudden affection. "You enjoyed that set darling?" He asked with the sweetest smile on his face, eyes a twinkling brown honey under the bright sun that captured her every sense.

Ella hummed with an eager nod of her head, coming to stand beside him, "Loved it. T'was so good!" She assured before wrapping her arms around his waist, humming in content as his left arm wrapped around her frame tightly and kept her flush against him.

He cooed under his breath and leaned into her to drop a kiss on her temple, mumbling a sweet, "So glad you did, darling." against her skin.

When the group caught up to them, Breana teased Ella for running away instead of waiting for them and after she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out to her, the compliments for the band rained around.

They all eventually agreed to go back to the artist area to get some drinks and then go out to listen to some good music around the different stages. But, even though they were moving hastily around the place to enjoy the last few hours of the festival, Ella and Alex never let the other go.

They were either holding hands or their arms would be wrapped around each other's waists, laughing in each other's ears or whispering around like high schoolers keeping secrets. But the unwavering touches were as if they tried to tell the other that they wouldn't go, they were planning on staying right there and the smiles which never left their faces were enough proof to know that was exactly how they wanted to stay.

Progressively, the pair got tipsy and it was then that Lily and Jayne realized that Breana hadn't been lying about them getting worse when alcohol was in their system. To anyone, it would look as if they were a couple and it was really confusing that they were nothing near it officially when they would act the way they did with each other.

Jayne was about to snatch Ella away to talk with her when she saw how Alex leaned into her and Ella let him close the distance between them, only their lips never met—their noses touched and they beamed at each other in a nauseatingly sweet show of affection that got even cuter when they mumbled 'love you' to each other before turning back around to focus on the conversation happening in front of them.

However, Lily kept the nurse in her place when she watched Ella make herself comfortable and hum in joy in Alex's arms, as he held her with his arms around her middle, her back pressed to his chest and his chin on her shoulder so he could always be inhaling her scent and kissing the skin that was available to him.

It wasn't time for any interrogations, Lily knew that. She and Jayne would have to wait to get answers later, even though the curiosity surely was eating them both alive.

They went around for a few hours before settling in the right side of the back of the crowd in front of the main stage, where Elton John would be performing soon so they figured settling down there and waiting would be a good idea.

A pretty good idea when Ella had a few joints to share with everyone as they sat on the grass to wait for the headline show.

With the alcohol already coursing through her veins, the weed made her relax a greater amount than she already was, melting into Alex's chest felt heavenly. His touch made her feverishly hot and she kept giggling and sighing over how good it felt. The tickling of his lingering touches on her waist, her thighs, her arms, her neck and shoulders, made her smile so big that her eyes kept closing.

Her eyes fluttered closed once more after taking one last hit of the third and last spliff that had gone around but despite her languid state, her brain remained awake and reeling with the images of that very day which seemed to be slipping through her fingers so fast and inevitably like water.

The flashing of the memories she had been making so far kept her grinning loopily in Alex's hold and, though everyone thought she looked silly and it was certainly amusing to see her fall asleep with such an expression, Alex's heart melted when he looked down and saw her so happy even in her slumber.

It really felt like she could easily sleep forever in Alex's arms, and when she thought of that, everything that her mind could focus on was the singer.

Alex felt Ella squirm a bit before relaxing back down, he couldn't hold back from dropping a kiss on the side of her face when she did that. He was pretty sure the corners of her lips twitched in a bigger smile at that for a split second before it relaxed to her loopy grin again once she sighed.

Her stomach fluttered with a million butterflies, her blood rushed through her veins with an increasing temperature that warmed every inch of her skin, every single one of her nerve endings tingled from his touch, her lips itched with the need to kiss him.

She really wanted to kiss him. But after hearing his news earlier that day, she knew that if she did she couldn't ignore that feeling she knew so well that kept growing inside her each day. She knew what it was and how long it had been since she had last felt it. And it was like it had come back so much stronger since it was snatched away from her the last time, ripped right off her chest along with her heart.

It scared her, it really did. Because the realization became clearer by the second and with it the ghosts that haunted her. But the notion was so loud and bright that the hope of it all ending up being okay, the hope of finally having a happy ending pushed close that door where her fears hid behind, slammed it close with a certainty that she felt foolish to have.

But the hopeful sparks shined brighter when she would make a joke and he'd pull her close so he could giggle against her skin. When he smoked and kept their fingers intertwined, fiddling with hers and her rings as he exhaled the smoke upwards. When he kept his touch anywhere on her body as they chatted about random shit, unwavering and burning her like he was branding her and she didn't want it any other way. When his eyes would never leave hers and knew exactly what she wanted without her uttering a word, he had gotten her a new drink or gone with her to get something to eat before she could even excuse herself to go on her own. When he posed for her every time she brought her camera up to her eyes, and when he would take it from her to take pictures of her, which he didn't have to beg for anymore as it was easier for her to let herself be captured by his vision.

And the ease in which it came to her this time was the thing that scared her to a certain extent. Because back at the start, she knew she didn't feel this strongly and yet she let herself go with the tide and eventually she'd drowned.

This time the waves crashed with force against the shore and it was scary and dangerous, but she wanted to take a dip in that treacherous ocean and let herself be swallowed by the waves because she'd waited so long and she had a growing faith that the tide would mellow down until she could just stay afloat in content forever. Warm water that would envelope her like an embrace that she would never want to leave, never want to lose.

It was loud and quiet, it echoed inside her and rumbled through her chest but also buzzed softly in the back of her mind like a reminder, like a faint memory that made her smile.

Alex. It was Alex and it was so clear. She loved him, she really did and it was inevitable. It was a long time coming and the realization was there and it was undeniable. It all had let up to this moment and it shook her ground but it was soft like an earthquake that you can find yourself waking up to but not scrambling for safety, because it felt as if she had always known. As if it had always been there but she'd finally recognized the shadow that hid away in the back of her mind, her heart, her soul.

Ella had no idea how much time had gone by, if five minutes of twenty, but her eyes peeled open and her ears suddenly caught up with the chatter going on around her. She sat up straighter and continued blinking away the remains of her sleepy haze, Alex looked down with a stupid grin on his face as she came back to reality.

"Good morning sunshine." He mumbled playfully, very much aware of the fact that the purple and pink hues of the sunset were enveloping them all.

Her smile grew at the sound of his voice and the sight of the beautiful colors that the sky was painted. She threw her head back to rest on his shoulder and smiled up at him, "Hi. Did I sleep too long?"

He shook his head softly, "Not even ten minutes."

She hummed, a bit confused after losing grasp on time but she attributed it to him, "You're comfy."

A chuckle made his chest shake, "Good." He leaned in until his lips pressed on her cheek and he left a soft long kiss there, his hot exhale making her close her eyes and hum in content.

She loved him. She really fucking did. And those three words burned on her tongue but she swallowed them, wanting to savor the feeling for a bit before she could think about how and when to tell him.

And savor it she did. Every touch, every kiss, every time they sang to each other once Elton John walked on stage, every time he twirled her around only to pull her in until she crashed against his chest and he could keep her there.

When the encore started though, 'Your Song' was the one to send Ella into tears. Alex stood behind her when the legendary singer had walked back on stage, his arms over her shoulders and hands clasping over her chest. She was holding his wrists in place, rubbing circles on his skin which stopped when the notes of the piano hinted to a song Ella knew quite well and overwhelmed her after the conclusion she'd come to earlier.

Alex felt her shake in his hold so he dipped his face until he could hide in the crook of her neck. It was then that he felt her wet cheeks and heard her sniffles, he pouted and left a kiss on the side of her neck before whispering in her ear, "You alright darling? Don't cry."

Her head shook as she sniffled once more before she turned her face slightly and said loud enough for only him to hear, "Happy tears, I promise."

And they actually were. She was so beyond happy to have him there, home, with her and enjoying a bit of her that meant so much. She felt relieved to finally admit to herself just how intensely she felt for him, a weight lifting off her shoulders now that her fears became smaller and smaller when he was so damn sweet to her, when he was just him in all his glory.

But hearing that song at that very moment felt like a sign, one that held so much force that just pushed her to tears. If Ella had Alex's way with words, she was sure she could write endless ballads about everything he made her feel, a million poems about everything she would give him. Alas, she didn't and she had no idea how to make it justice. But that song made it seem so simple and it moved her deeply.

Is it really that simple? she thought, or is it too good to be true?

All she wanted to do was turn around and beg him to listen to every word and swear on everything that existed that she felt like that about him, that she loved him madly and that it had taken a while to get there but she had and she didn't know how much longer she could hold it—beg on her knees for him to feel the same if that's what it took.

"Don't be upset. I'm right here." Alex whispered back, snapping her out of her thoughts. His hand cupped her cheek and turned her face delicately to the side so he could wipe her tears, kissing her cheek when he was done.

"Yeah." She mumbled as she nodded, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't go." She pleaded pathetically. It was stupid because she could just say it but a shiver ran down her spine at the sudden feeling of fear, the one that had held her back for so long.

Coward.

Alex dropped a kiss atop of her head and promised, "I won't."

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Suddenly, the fireworks had come alive and the last song of the night was over. Once Elton John had walked out of the stage, the screens turned into a written goodbye and a promise to see everyone next year.

As every year, it was hard to say goodbye. Those four days felt like they'd gone in a flash and it felt unfair every time since this was Ella's excuse to come home religiously, to steal her sister and her best friend away from responsibilities.

There was a cloud of sadness that hung in the air as they all walked back to the band's tour bus. The silver lining was that the guys were staying another day in town, though they hadn't planned anything explicitly with Ella. Ella had planned the day for them already though, and was just waiting to tell them.

It was when they got back to the large bus that the Monkeys offered to take Ella, Lily, Jayne and Lewis home. Ella declined politely since they had her mom's car there to go back home, but she told them then that her parents were expecting them all to come to their home to join them for a barbecue the next day. The director cheekily added that she had more plans for the night but she'd keep the surprise the longest she could.

The guys were wary of the invitation, due to the fact that they just couldn't leave the bus anywhere since they had to leave early on Tuesday and the fact that there were so many of them and they didn't wanna become a burden to Ella's family.

Ella saw right through them and waved their worries away, "Guys, we have a huge farm house. There's like eight rooms in total and an extension out back so your bus driver can sleep comfortably. Plus my parents have a huge fucking field so the bus won't be an issue to park by the house."

Still, they were wavering on accepting the offer, but when Lily interrupted with, "Ella will be insufferable if you don't accept and our parents have been excited to meet y'all for a while now, they'd be sad if y'all don't come along."

They made the sisters promise twice that it wouldn't be an issue to have them over and the two times they wholeheartedly swore on it. And that was how the group ended up following Ella out of the festival grounds, back to her childhood home.

Just like Ella had promised, there was plenty of space beside the huge farm house for the tour bus to fit in. It could've fitted in the driveway easily if the bus driver hadn't been worried of blocking one of the garage doors.

Unfortunately, Jayne and Lewis had to leave right then since they had to work in the morning. So everyone bid the farewell before they could come into the house, Ella making her promise to call her as soon as she got back home, which thankfully only was thirty minutes away.

After they watched Lewis and Jayne driving away, everyone got their stuff out of the bus and they soon were ready to follow Ella and Lily down the cobblestone path and into the house.

The group whistled in awe when they walked through the big wooden doors, which certainly matched the grandiosity of the house. Before Ella could show them around and help them settle into the spare rooms though, she guided the bus driver out the back and showed him the extra two rooms and bathroom that was the extension.

When the director came back, after welcoming the driver to feel at home and let any of them know if he needed anything with a knock on the sliding doors on the back of the house, Lily had already said goodnight and excused herself to go to her room.

"Okay, let me show you where you're sleeping and where the bathrooms are before I collapse." Ella joked as she waved them to follow her but she wasn't entirely playing around since her eyes were starting to close against her will.

She still showed them around with a massive grin on her face, seeing the couples starting to occupy the rooms of her home made her incredibly giddy. So when she eventually got to her room, after wishing everyone sweet dreams and hugging them tightly, she sighed loudly in content before hopping in the shower. Her smile stayed on her face as she fell asleep, feeling warm and fuzzy just thinking about what the following day would be like.

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"Hi guys! Nice to meet you!" A voice they hadn't heard before greeted them as they walked out to the yard, where a long picnic table waited for them with a big array of food that was so American, it made the group smile. Before they could greet the woman back, she introduced herself, "I'm Grace and this is Parker. We're Ella and Lily's parents."

The group went around giving them hugs and properly greeting the couple, and once they did, Grace pointed at the benches waiting to be occupied for the feast to start, "Get yourselves settled, we made breakfast for everyone!"

There was pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, cornbread, pulled pork in hawaiian dinner rolls, sausages, toast, hash browns, orange juice, coffee and creamer. It looked like an army was meant to eat there, not the band and the Hayes family.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hayes." Alex smiled sweetly at the fifty year old woman who was expectantly waiting for each of them to fill the plates she'd arranged in each of their seats.

She scoffed playfully, "Oh please hun, Grace is fine. Don't make me feel older than I already am."

Alex chuckled in response, "Then thank you Grace, this looks delicious."

Before Grace could thank him for the compliment on her cooking, Ella and Lily walked out of the house and greeted everyone.

"Rude of y'all to make us wait." Parker taunted his daughters with a playful smile on his face to which her daughters sighed in response.

"Sorry guys." Ella said, and when her eyes landed on the food that was laid out for everyone, her jaw fell in surprise, "Fucking hell mom! Are you feeding the whole town?!"

Grace was about to scorn her for swearing, when Ella stopped in her tracks as she was about to sit beside Alex for she noticed the bus driver was missing at the table. "Hold up, I'm gonna go wake their driver up so he can eat something."

She dashed towards the extension out back and they watched as she knocked multiple times until the man appeared on the door. They couldn't hear the conversation but the man nodded and closed the door again so Ella turned on her heels and made her way back to the table.

Snatching a piece of cornbread from one of the trays, she finally took her seat next to Alex and before taking a bite of her food, she informed, "He's coming in five minutes."

Alex watched as Ella's dad smiled and walked up to her, pressing a kiss on her head and mumbling, "That's my sweet little girl." before he went to join his wife across the table.

The childish gleam of pride on Ella's face made Alex want to audibly coo. He knew there was so much more about her that he had yet to discover and this glimpse into her when she was surrounded by family and at her home was making him fall in love all over.

His heart had kick started when she had come into his view just a few minutes before, seeing her face still a bit puffy from sleep, dressed in some jean shorts and a blue shirt that read 'What would Dolly do?' which made him swallow a giggle. She was wearing some worn out brown cowboy boots that tied her look together and she just made so much more sense in this context. She glowed in a new light at home and it made him fall head over heels all over again.

Alex wrapped his arm around her waist, trying to keep each other close as if their thighs weren't already brushing together. Ella offered him a tight lip smile, her mouth full of delicious cornbread, and she let her head rest on his shoulder for a few seconds before she could get herself food on her plate.

It was once the guys' bus driver walked out, greeted everyone and sat at the end of the table, that everyone started to actually eat.

Grace and Parker asked about loads of things, starting with the band and the tour and how it had gone in the festival, to then asking about how they were finding their little town, if they had any favorite places in America and how it was different to touring around Europe and the UK.

The lads were very witty and made the conversation flow so easily that it felt less of an interrogation and more of a story sharing hour. Which, of course, had somehow ended in the retelling of how the band met Ella and how it had been working with her throughout the years.

Coming to the realization that it had been well over three years since they all met made the nostalgic, and soon enough they remembered that the latest music video they had recorded would be coming out later in the day so they'd get the chance to gather in front of the TV in the living room and see the final product.

Once everyone was satisfied with their very varied breakfast, they all got up from the table and started helping clean up. There had been some leftovers and those were carefully picked up and put away, as the rest of the group gathered the dirty dishes and utensils and brought them to the kitchen so they could be rinsed and put into the dishwasher.

Everything was taken care of after twenty minutes, so the group was good to go back to resting in their rooms if they wanted to—that was what the bus driver had done after wholeheartedly thanking Ella's parents for the meal—but before they could go, Grace had an idea.

As she finished drying the last few glasses they had used, Grace suggested, "Eleanor, honey, why don't y'all go down to the stable to see the horses? God knows Birdie misses you."

At the mention of her horse, Ella lit up and exclaimed, "Oh yeah!" Her eyes went wide and she turned quickly on her heels to go back outside, "Let's go y'all. I need to show you my baby."

The group had to pick up their pace to catch up with Ella, she was practically dashing through the slightly grown out grass on the way to the stable which was to the far right side of the huge backyard—it was more like an acre of land than a back garden, but if they had horses then it made sense to have such a big space.

Ella got to the gates of the stable quicker than them and she swiftly opened one of them ajar right when the group got there. They still had her walk in first to guide them in, and they saw how she inhaled deeply and smiled brightly when taking in the place. She'd grown up in that stable, playing with hay and learning how to care for the horses, sneaking away with her first girlfriend and getting in trouble when she would go out for a ride in the middle of the night.

So many good memories and the prospect of making some more with her best friends at that moment was making her all soft and gooey inside.

"Fucking hell. Yous breed horses?" Matt let out in surprise when he saw the seven horses inside the place, all huffing excitedly at the sight of visitors.

Ella turned to see him and shook her head, "Not really. We used to have a horse each but then my mom's horse passed and we tried to fill the void with two more and with them these two crazy boys came along." She pointed at two beautiful black horses on the left side of the aisle—the memory of helping her parents deliver the two horses would be one to stay with her forever. When Bee had given birth to Stephen, she had been absolutely terrified but almost two years later, when Bee gave birth to Blaze, she'd felt so much more prepared that it became a moment of pride rather than trauma.

She walked further until she got to the most excited horse of all, a brown one with spots all over its back and hips, and luscious black hair. "This is Birdie, he's my best boy." Ella said proudly before holding her horse's muzzle, pouting and cooing when he leaned into her touch, "Hi bubba!" The group watched as the horse started nickering and Ella gave him her attention entirely and nodded along like she understood, "I know, I know bub. Oh I missed you so much!"

When Ella realized everyone had stayed on the side watching, she waved them over, "Come on, don't be shy. He's a lover." Bre got to him and patted its muzzle and its forehead and Ella chuckled seeing how much Birdie was enjoying the attention. She shook her head and scoffed, he really was a big baby, "And he fucking loves attention so please pet him, he'll behave even better when he sees y'all wanting to show him some love." He hadn't changed one bit and she knew that had to be with her parents spoiling him to help him cope with Ella not being home and missing her.

Bre cooed at him, loving how he reacted to them and becoming speechless at the beauty of his coat, "He's beautiful. Can we go for a ride Ella?" The model had grown up going to the countryside with her parents and riding horses was her favorite thing as a kid so she really had to ask.

"Of course." Ella agreed easily, but she had to make sure first before she decided which horse she would give her best friend, "You do remember how to ride, right Bre?"

Before the model could answer though, her fiance took the chance to joke, "She sure does."

"Shut up Matthew." Ella scolded him, half smiling because he was such a little shit.

Bre snorted and rolled her eyes before thinking about it, she looked around the horses and ended up saying, "I do, but give me a calm one please. Haven't ridden in a while."

Ella hummed, looking around and when she saw the thoroughbred that belonged to her mum, she smiled, "Honeybee for Bre it is then."

"Awh I wanna ride too!" Katie pouted before Ella could get a singular saddle for Bre. When Ella turned to her and beamed, Katie gnawed on her bottom lip shyly before admitting, "Don't know how though."

"S'okay, I'll teach you." Ella waved her off. She was growing excited because she loved teaching people how to ride horses. Knowing it'd be easier to take her own horse since he would definitely listen to her, Ella offered, "Wanna take Birdie? He'll behave I promise."

Maybe Katie should've given it more of a thought but she didn't hesitate to nod eagerly and reply with a chirpy, "Sure!"

Ella smiled, but then a thought crossed her mind and she suggested to do one thing before taking Bre and Katie out, "First, let me take Birdie for a quick spin and I'll come back when he's calmed down. If you go on him now he'll get the zoomies and that won't be good." She winced thinking about the time she was fifteen and she'd gone on a camping trip with her cousins and their friends and come back after a long week, and when she'd gotten on Birdie, he was being so aggressive he threw her off and she dislocated her shoulder.

Yeah, she needed to take him for a quick loop before giving him to Katie.

"When I'm back, I'll get it all ready for you too." She promised Breana and Katie with a soft smile, "You guys can follow me on the golf carts if you want. There's a gorgeous lake a few miles down the field." They had a pair of beaten up golf carts that her parents used to get around the property easily, and she was sure the keys were in each of them, ready to be used.

With an impressive ease, Ella took Birdie out of his stall—and after softly calming him down as he started neighing and thrashing around from excitement—she saddled him up. She explained what she was doing as she went, and showed them how to mount twice so that Katie and Bre, and whoever else wanted to ride later knew what to do.

Once on Birdie, she had him slowly walk out of the stable—Jamie was a gooden and opened the second door so they could comfortably walk out and then closed the doors behind him—and showed them the golf carts on the back of the stable.

Alex, Katie and Jamie got in one of the carts while Nick, Kelly, Matt and Breana got in the other one. When they turned on the carts, Ella instructed them to follow her and she jetted off in a split second.

They all heard her loud laughter in the air as they followed, the exhilarating feeling of the wind blowing her hair as she picked up speed on her horse made giggles fall from her uncontrollably. Behind her, the group followed and they gasped so many times when Birdie would gallop higher and faster and it felt like Ella would be flung off its back on many occasions.

It took them a few minutes to get to the lake, but still Birdie wanted to run some more so Ella told them to stay by the body of water while she tired him out. That took about five more minutes. The horse didn't want to stray too far from the group—attention whore, Ella thought with amusement—and when he let Ella walk him back beside the group, the director praised him for being good.

A wide eyed Kelly was the first to speak when she was beside them, "Jesus Christ, Ella. I thought he was gonna throw you off so many times then."

"I know, me too." Ella chuckled, the adrenaline that rushed through her veins made her want to laugh. She was so happy as she explained, "He gets too excited when I'm back home. Don't you, boy?" Leaning in, she patted his shoulder and brushed his mane lovingly, "He's fine now though." She could feel his chest expanding continuously as he tried to calm his breathing down, just like her chest was heaving from the remains of the thrill of the ride.

Behind their pregnant friend, Bre leaned in so Ella could hear her whistle in awe, just before she complimented, "You sure can fucking ride, babe."

That made Ella cackle loudly, the words making her fill with pride so she smiled at her, all smug and said, "Cowgirl through and through, my love. I've been telling you." The wink she sent Ella made Alex clench his jaw. It was beyond him how she could be so hot doing the most mundane things. He'd been watching her with his mouth agape, really having to focus on driving the cart that whole time from how he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

She looked stunning as she dismounted the horse, landing with a thud on the floor, her cowboy boots digging on the mud. "It's a bit muddy over here, but it's so beautiful." She grabbed onto Birdie's reins, to have him walk with her up to the lake, and waved everyone over behind her.

The lads put the golf carts on park and left them where they'd stopped to follow Ella, Nick and Alex holding each of Kelly's arms to make sure she wouldn't slip.

Birdie was a menace so he actually huffed and puffed for Ella to take him into the water, the cowgirl rolled her eyes and told him he could go but reminding him to listen when it was time to go, as if he was a child that could understand her mom's wishes.

The water was warm under the sun, but it was refreshing to splash over their exposed skin. Matt had audibly regretted not bringing his camera along with him for the scenery was stunning, and Katie had asked Ella if she used to spend lots of time there as a kid.

"Oh yes. Loads." Ella nodded, nostalgia flashing through her features. "Used to sneak out of the house and mess around with my friends."

"Skinny dipping?" Kelly smirked, getting flashbacks to the photoshoot they'd had when Ella was over in London.

Ella smirked back, "Oh yeah, amongst other things."

The group laughed, Bre coming to shove her playfully and Ella tripped slightly. Alex was sweating looking around the place and just thinking about the things Ella could get up to, seeing this side of her and finding those little details of her had his mind dizzy.

There was one thing he could easily pinpoint though. He was falling for her even more, and the raw, animalistic hunger and need he felt for her was growing. The hot weather was only making him sweat and feel uncomfortably flustered.

A few minutes later, after a few stories from Ella about spending summers splashing around and getting drunk with her friends there, they all went back to the stable.

Ella got Honeybee ready for Breana, helping her mount the horse and then she helped Katie get on Birdie. She held the reins as she walked both the horses out of the stable and soon enough, she had them galloping around. Birdie was tired from Ella taking him earlier so he went way easier on Katie than she had Ella, and Bee was a sweetheart as per usual, being gentle with Bre and allowing the model to guide her on the pace she wanted to take.

The girls got the hang of it after a bit over ten minutes and then Ella let them go a bit faster on their own. It made Ella so happy to see the smiles on Katie and Bre's faces as they went around the field and she clapped and complimented them when they got to stop the horses effortlessly.

Ella helped them dismount and they walked the horses back to the stable. The girls helped get the saddle off them and put them back in their stalls, filling up buckets with water for the horses to have after their activities.

The cowgirl asked if anyone else wanted to go for a ride but when they all stayed quiet, pressing their lips together, she had to carefully look at each of them to make sure.

When her gaze landed on the drummer, she saw a hint of curiosity on his face so she scooped out a positive reply from him by softly asking, "Matt, you wanna take Stephen out for a loop?"

He hesitated but eventually nodded, "Ermm, sure."

"Perfect. Anyone else?" Her eyes went around the group again, until they landed on her other best friend who had been averting his gaze very obviously as if that would get Ella to not ask him. "Alex, you?" She pressed softly, not wanting to push too much from the get go.

"I don't know." He frowned warily. After seeing how Birdie had been with Ella, he was very hesitant.

"Oh come on, sweets!" Ella pouted, walking up to him with her best puppy eyes and stopping right in front of him to try and convince him. Her arms snaked around his waist and she made a show of batting her lashes, looking up at him with pleading eyes, "You can't come over and meet my horses and not wanna go for a ride. Come onnn, pleaseeeeee."

She had it so easy, she could have him do anything and everything with a snap of her fingers. It made him smile, knowing just how clearly she had him wrapped around her little finger, the love she felt for her making his chest swell.

Still, he tried to play it off as if it was a burden for him to accept, letting out an exaggerated sigh that made her narrow her eyes at him and concluding, "Alright, I'll do it. But not Birdie."

"Okay not Birdie." She rolled her eyes, a smirk on her face as she stood up straight and coming to a better alternative for him, she exclaimed, "I'm gonna get Duke, he's gentle."

Duke was the eldest one, her dad's horse that he'd gotten before he married Ella's mom, and he had grown soft and playful with age. After Luna, Ella's mom horse who had been his mate for the longest time, died he had dulled down and his thirst for speeding around the field and dashing through the mountains had almost left him entirely.

Ella's dad took Blaze when he wanted to dash around but when he just wanted to take a leisure walk, Duke was still his boy.

So Ella sweetly greeted Duke first, taking him out of his stall and getting him ready for Alex. She let the singer walk the horse outside, promising he would behave and he would wait patiently there for her to get Stephen ready for Matt.

The smile on Ella's face was impossibly big when they walked out and Alex was there carefully stroking Duke's muzzle. Her heart melted in her chest and she would have cried if she allowed herself to. The sight of that did something to her, a shift inside her that only accentuated the overwhelming love she now could easily point out that she had for him.

Holding back her emotions, she nodded to Alex to follow her behind the stable again so that he and Matt could get on the horses and go for a ride.

It had been hilarious and equally frustrating to get Matt to mount Stephen, when Ella finally managed to help him up on the horse she'd felt accomplished. But the feeling didn't last long for he instantly started complaining again.

"Owh fuck, my fucking balls." Matt exclaimed in pain as Stephen started walking rhythmically.

"Helders stop being so stiff." Ella called him out with a disapproving shake of her head. "Relax!"

The drummer snapped back with a hiss, "This fucking hurts, Eleanor."

"Too bad." She mocked, "Go on, Stephen is great."

Matt sighed and bit his tongue so as not to complain when Ella clicked her tongue and the horse started picking up his pace. But he couldn't keep quiet for long, not when panic started sizzling in his belly as the speed had increased, "That's too fast, no?"

Ella chortled along with the rest of the group, "Absolutely not. You're going way too slow." Bre was recording beside her and Ella was so glad she'd thought of that because this was being so entertaining so far. Before she could get lost in wanting to laugh at him rather than being a good host and instructor, Ella actually gave him advice to help, "He can feel you being uncomfortable, settle down and relax."

Stephen was going in loops after all so if anything happened, Matt knew Ella would know what to do so he kept reminding himself of that until he relaxed and actually started enjoying the ride.

"There we go." Ella praised with a sweet smile, "You can go a bit faster right?"

"No." Matt shook his head straight away.

"Yes you can." Ella sighed out a laugh. She couldn't believe Matt was that scared of riding a horse. So with another click of her tongue, the beautiful horse picked up its pace a bit more, "Yes Stephen, good boy."

When she praised the horse for following along the wordless instruction though, she noticed Matt's terrified expression so she spared him the stress and told him, "When you wanna stop, just gently pull the reins."

She didn't have to tell him twice because Matt softly pulled on them at the same time as he mumbled, "Ah-ah. Stop Stephen." and the horse slowed down until it stopped just in front of the group.

"See? He's such a good boy." Ella played when the drummer looked down at them all, his eyes still wide.

They heard him muttering profanities under his breath as he got down clumsily, tripping when he landed on the ground.

Without giving Matt more attention, Ella got Stephen and walked him back to the stable. She took a few minutes taking the reins and saddle off him, getting him some water before she walked out again.

She went straight to where Alex stood, holding Duke by its reins, and placing a hand softly on his shoulder, she instructed, "Your turn, sweets."

Alex nodded, his hands starting to get clammy from the nerves. She could see it on his face so she walked up to him, placing her hand on top of his hand which was holding the reins. "Want me to help you get on him?" She sweetly suggested, knowing it would ease him if she was there with him.

"Please." he mumbled, brows furrowing slightly.

Her expression softened and she had to fight not to pout, instead offering him a cute smile to soothe his nerves, "'Course."

Offering one of her hands as leverage, he mounted Duke. He struggled a bit finding his balance on one foot before he could swing his leg over to the other side of Duke's back but he did great and Ella didn't fail to praise his good job.

"Just relax and when I click my tongue he'll go, okay? Don't be scared." She said just for him to hear, she was on the other side of the horse anyway so the group couldn't hear.

Ella waited for Alex to nod and she walked around the horse to stand beside Bre again. Once there, she offered Alex another smile before she said, "Go on, Duke." followed by a click of her tongue that made the horse start walking around.

Unlike Matt, Alex's posture was great, his back straight but not stiff and his shoulders relaxed in good posture. She still made sure to ask, "How's that? Comfortable?"

"Yeah." Alex nodded in confirmation.

Matt chuckled in mock, "He's shitting bricks."

But before Ella could bite back, Nick scoffed and corrected, "He's doing better than you, dickhead."

"Piss off." The drummer quipped back in a mumble.

And it made Ella snort when Nick shrugged and added, "Just saying."

"Just let him go a bit faster, yeah?" Ella pointed when Duke came back after taking Alex with him a mile down the field.

"Okay." He loosened the reins a bit and tugged on them briefly and when the horse started going faster, he muttered, "Oh shit."

"You're fine!" Ella assured, Duke would slow down eventually, he couldn't keep up his speed for long so this was just him wanting to play around for a few minutes.

Watching as Alex kept his posture and continued riding, Ella praised once more, "That's a good job!" Of course, praising the horse as well, "Go on Duke, nice boy." She wouldn't deny that the scene was tugging at her heart strings, it was a mix of happiness and a sense of future nostalgia for the memory in the making.

"You know what to do to get him to stop?" Ella asked just to make sure when Alex and Duke rode past the group.

Alex nodded again, "Yes!"

"Okay, on your own time now, sweets. You got this." She encouraged.

Alex copied the way in which she'd slowed Birdie down and how Matt had managed to do with Stephen, he pulled on the reins softly calling out for Duke to stop and he did. Duke slowed down about a hundred feet away from the group and allowed for Alex to guide him back to them all with ease.

"Nicely done." Ella smiled brightly, filled with pride. "That was great! You did great, sweetness!"

Alex couldn't stop his cheeks from blushing, a loopy smile on his face as his chest puffed out with pride, "Thank you darling." He wondered if he could ask to go once more just to hear her sweet words again and again and again. His knees buckled at the thought of her praising him, that sweet voice of hers drowning his ears.

He was down so bad for her. How embarrassing, he thought at first, but then he wanted to laugh because he really wouldn't wish to have it any other way.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

After putting Duke back in his stall, giving him water and going around the stable once more, they all went back to the house.

Just by the sliding doors in the back of it, they found Ella's dad at the grill, flipping some burgers and cuts of meat with a speaker next to him blasting some old tune that Ella was trying to recognize.

The smell of the barbecue and his dad wearing that apron she made back when she was in kindergarten, made him think back to her teenage years when she'd have her friends over and they'd drive to the lake and come back to some yummy food and her dad's favorite music interrupting the sounds of nature.

Then it suddenly clicked. "Is that The Guess Who, dad?" Ella asked, pretty damn sure that was 'Undun' by the 70s Canadian band.

Her dad hummed proudly, after all he'd been the one to basically pass down his music taste to her. "Yes honey. Could you turn it up a bit?" Parker asked, pointing at his phone over by the picnic table with his spatula.

"Sure." Ella quickly went to get the device and turned the volume up a few notches until her dad sang and it got lost under the loud song. "Does mom need help with anything? Do you need anything?" She asked her dad before they could get comfortable on the seats. There were plates and cutlery organized around the table already, and aluminum trays in the middle of the table waiting to be filled with what was on the grill.

He thought about it for a few seconds before he shrugged, "M'not sure lovie. I'm alright but go check on her please."

Ella nodded and turned to her friends, "Guys, sit down. I'll be back."

Before she could leave on her own, Alex quickly called out, "I'll go with ya'" that made her smile and nod for him to follow her.

She opened the sliding door and closed it once Alex walked in beside her—right before the door was fully closed, they heard 'One of These Nights' by the Eagles came on. There was a stark difference between the heat outside and the nice chill in which the house had been kept thanks to the AC and it made Ella shiver.

Her skin breaking on goosebumps and a chill running down her spine made her almost miss the way Alex smirked and said, "Now that makes sense."

"What?" She asked confused as she started walking on the way to the kitchen.

She knew the cause of his smirk when he said, "That 70s head of yours."

Her cheeks turned bright red and her stomach flipped. This was the first time he'd ever acknowledged any of her connection to 'Arabella' directly to her so her voice wavered when she let out a high pitched, "Stop it." at the same time as she weakly shoved him.

The laugh she got from that made her breath hitch in her throat and she almost tripped because her legs wobbled at the sound. A giggle escaped her involuntarily and she felt like such a pathetic fool but it made her feel warm and nice that it was him who made her feel that way. Only him.

Ella was stuck in a stupid-in-love haze when she and Alex finally got to the kitchen, there Lily was already helping her mom out with finishing up the salad she was making so all Ella and Alex got to help with was taking the drinks and the ice bucket out to the table.

A few minutes later, Ella's mom and Lily walked outside with the big bowl of salad, setting it down carefully on the only empty space on the table which was by the edge of it.

Compliments over the delicious look of the food rained around and Ella's dad joked about everyone not having seen his culinary skills yet as he was still waiting for everything to properly cook on the grill.

But before Ella could get up and have the bus driver come over to have lunch with them, her phone pinged with a notification from Ben.

(17/06/2014 16:39) Hi Ellie, how was the festival? Hope you had fun and that the guys enjoyed Tennessee as well! Snap music video came out almost an hour ago, did you get a chance to watch it? Think it turned out brilliant, we make a good team :))) Anyway, enjoy your day! See you Thursday!!

Ella gasped at the sudden reminder, making Alex jump in his seat beside her and everyone else turn to her with wide eyes.

"Sorry." The director apologized, "Ben just reminded me that the Snap music video came out and I think we should go watch it now before eating."

Grace saw the hesitation in everyone's faces and she smiled softly before encouraging them to go, "Food is not ready yet, go and watch it and then we'll eat."

When Ella's dad agreed on it, they all scrambled inside the house and Ella had to yell out for Lily to bring her laptop downstairs so she could connect the HDMI cable to it and watch it on a bigger screen.

It took about five minutes to finally have everything set and the second they were all comfortable in the couches around the room, Ella pressed play and rushed to her seat in between Alex and Katie.

For the next four minutes, Ella's parents and Lily—who had walked outside after delivering Ella her laptop—watched as the group became entranced by the video playing on the screen. Grace and Parker found it incredibly amusing and it reminded them of when Ella would have her friends over and they would head over to the nearest Blockbuster to get a few movies to rent and tried watching them all until every single one of them succumbed to sleep.

What piqued their curiosity though was the way Ella would lean into Alex, and how he would hold her tightly and play with the strands of hair that fell over her shoulder.

Grace and Parker had noticed the way those two looked at each other and they knew that Ella felt some type of way about the boy just from getting a peek at it for a few minutes during breakfast.

The parents shared knowing looks and smirks, knowing they'd be asking Ella about it later but since Lily was right there, they figured they could look for some answers.

"So what's the deal with them two?" Grace started, catching Lily's attention, "Are they dating and she hasn't told us yet or what?"

Lily shook her head and sighed, "Have no clue, ma. But they were glued together all day yesterday, I can tell you that."

Parker hummed, "Elaborate on that, hun."

"Holding hands, holding each other's waists, kissing each other's cheeks, taking pictures, going together everywhere, giggling and whispering to each other." Lily sighed like it was a burden to recall, "They were disgustingly cute, really."

The list of things her eldest daughter had just given them made them even more curious about it, but before either Grace or Parker could ask about it, Lily added, "Oh and when he was singing, he would keep singing at her and there's this song that Breana said he'd written about her called 'Arabella'. He got down on one knee to sing a bit of that song to her and all."

The smirk on Lily's face was matched by Grace and Parker couldn't help but cackle at the information, "If he's even gonna think of getting down on one knee for her, he's gotta ask me first."

Grace scoffed and handed him a tray for him to place the food that was already done, before shutting him down, "Oh you old man, stop it. They're so cute actually, look at how big she's smiling!"

It wasn't an exaggeration at all for the smile on Ella's face was so big it reached her eyes and the apples of her cheeks were tinted a lovely shade of pink that made Grace coo.

"She's enamored." Her mom concluded, knowing that look on her daughter's face so well. She was just hoping it didn't end badly for her like it had the two previous times.

Lily hummed in agreement, "She sure is but she's too much of a pussy to admit it."

"Lilian!" Parker and Grace called out for the use of such a vulgar word.

"What?! It's true!" Lily raised her hands in defense, "The girls told me she's been in denial for a while. I wonder how much longer it'll take her."

Parker watched the scene through the glass of the sliding doors again, and he smiled tenderly seeing how his daughter relaxed in Alex's hold when the singer dropped a kiss on her temple after mumbling something in her ear that made her giggle.

"Not much longer." Ella's dad concluded; he had a hunch.

Before Grace and Lily could interrogate him as to why he thought so, they watched as the group in the living room stood up from their places and made their way back outside. They begrudgingly had to shut up and leave the subject for later, which they knew they would ask Ella about later that day if possible, especially since Lily had to leave early in the morning and she was too intrigued to let it pass.

When everyone went back to their seats, the food was already set on the table and their mouths watered at the sight. They waited for Lily to come back from letting the driver know that the food was ready and they were waiting for him to join them, and as that happened, Ella's parents asked about the video.

Ella explained the concept behind it and the song and how they both complimented each other, praying she wasn't blushing too noticeably when it came to explaining what the song was about.

After her explanation though, Alex couldn't not sing Ella's praises for her work with the video and when Ella's dad asked in a playful manner, "Is she alright? Not too much of a handful to work with?" Alex shook his head no.

"No, she's always been the best. Talented, patient, fun and so professional." His gaze danced between her parents as he said all that but it ended up falling on Ella when he finished, "She's always been gooden, this one."

Aware of it getting too cute, he poked Ella on the ribs and when she jumped in her place, she burst out laughing. "'Course you can't just be nice." Ella reprimanded with a roll of her eyes.

Alex hummed, "Gotta keep you humble."

The whole table smirked, even Lily was smirking as she'd heard Alex's words when she got back and it was like everyone but Alex and Ella shared a silent conversation about the pair while the two were too busy staring at each other lovingly.

When the driver arrived, running as he thought he'd been making them wait for too long, Alex and Ella were snapped out of their trance and the rest of the people at the table cut their telepathic conversation short. The conclusion so far was that they were so obvious yet so oblivious and they wondered what else needed to happen for them to do something about it.

Lunch went amazingly. It was like at breakfast they'd gotten over with the small talk so everyone was going around telling jokes and sharing stories, especially Ella's parents and they all ended up entertained at Ella and Lily's expense.

This meal went on for longer, as the chatter distracted them from quickly making the food in their plates disappear and though it had ended up cold by the time the food was about to be gone, they still enjoyed it all.

When they all deemed themselves full, Ella's dad brought out a big case of beer for everyone to share, and once those were opened, it felt like a proper homecoming.

It surprised Ella how they seemed to not run out of conversation topics, the sun had started going down to sleep on the horizon and the sky was starting to tint different colors. The knowledge of what she had planned for a couple hours later made her smile to herself for a few minutes, she was just relishing in the accents mixing together and the laughs she'd missed so much filling her chest and making her feel warm inside. The imagery of her childhood home mixing with her current life made for a lovely scene and she was taking it all in in fine detail so she could relive the memory every night.

Reaching into Alex's pocket, she fished out the cigarettes she knew he carried everywhere. He'd gotten startled by the sudden touch on his upper thigh but when she got the packet out and smiled, his heartbeat slowed down slightly.

Ella got a cigarette out and placed it between her lips, but before Alex could hand her the lighter, her mom groaned in disapproval. "Really, Eleanor? A cigarette?"

"Mom. Please." She mumbled with the stick poking out of her mouth, her fingers wrapping around the lighter and swiftly igniting a spark to bring alive her oral fixation.

Taking one long drag, she enjoyed the feeling of the smoke in her lungs before exhaling it upwards and then continuing with her quip back at her mom, "I'm a grown woman, we're past the point where you scold me for smoking."

But her mom got up from where she was sitting and walked up to her, squishing her cheeks together making her involuntarily pout she scrambled to hold the cigarette before it fell to the floor. Her mom chuckled and put on a baby voice to say, "I know you're 26 but I don't care, you'll always be my cute little baby."

"Mommmmmm. Stopppppp." She whined, her cheeks still trapped in her mom's hold.

It seemed like Grace didn't plan on letting go but then she just dropped her hand and Ella noticed the mischievous grin on her mom's face as she said, "Hold on a second." before quickly going back inside the house and dashing upstairs.

Ella frowned deeply, "What– Where is she going?"

Lily shrugged, an amused expression on her face because she found her mom hilarious but she assured Ella, "I've no clue." because she had no idea why the woman had gone back inside so hurriedly.

Their silent question was answered when, ten minutes later, Grace interrupted the group's conversation by dropping a handful of thick photo albums on top of the wooden table.

Ella instantly recognized them and whined in complaint, "No, mom! Don't!"

"But why? You were so cute I have to show you off." Her mom defended, opening the first one up and letting the group see newborn Ella wrapped up in hospital blankets and a cute little pink hat.

"Are those all photo albums?" Nick asked, intrigued by the amount of books Grace had brought.

"Yes they are." Grace nodded proudly, "They're all Ella."

That was enough for a bunch of hands to reach for the album and start flipping through the pages to see cute little Ella throughout the years.

Most of the first photo album was of Ella as a baby. Her wearing a bunch of cute little onesies, during each of her first holidays—she'd been dressed up as a baby cupid for her first Valentine's day and it made everyone coo—, as she took her first steps, her first time at the beach, her first baby photoshoot, her first ugly sweater—she'd turned to Alex after Grace had shown that one and said, "Always been a tradition, see?".

The next one's were more of her as a toddler and on. Her wearing a bunch of obnoxious little dresses and smiling so hard to show her little baby teeth it looked forced. A bunch of pictures of her playing dress up with her parents' clothes, many with her whole face disappearing beneath her dad's cowboy hats and the funniest ones of her modeling as she wore her mom's big heels. Her with her first pair of cowboy boots which had been the same day as her first rodeo, from which they had a bunch of pictures of her riding little sheep and then one of her on the podium smiling big as she held her first place golden medal. Some of her smiling wide to show her tooth gap after losing her two upper front baby teeth.

"You were so cute, what happened?" Alex joked, knowing she'd get the reference for his use of words.

Everyone around laughed along, but she blushed knowing why he was saying that and all she could retaliate with was a shove and a weak, "Shut up."

"Awh look at those chubby cheeks!" Kelly cooed, "I wanna eat you up!"

Katie gasped seeing one of her smiling wide with a big ice cream cone, Ella's eyes looked huge and incredibly green in the picture thanks to the sun that there'd been that day at the park, "Your eyes!"

Grace pouted when the model said that, getting nostalgic about her baby's big eyes, "Every time I see her when she's back home I think back to her big eyes she had as a baby. So sad she grew into them as well as her big ears."

Ella chuckled, the big ears she had as a baby had always been endearing to her. There was something it reminded her of, so she shared it to laugh a little at herself, "I looked like Dopey."

"You still do." Nick countered with a snicker.

Ella gasped dramatically and turned to him with a faux offended look on her face, "Yellamo, you offend me."

What the director didn't count on was her dad adding into it by saying, "She sure does look like Dopey when she wakes up." and since they all had seen her just after waking up multiple times, they agreed to taunt her even more.

"Dad!" She exclaimed, offended. Crossing her arms and shaking her head, she huffed in her place, "Can't believe I'm getting cornered in my own house!"

Her mom found it all so entertaining, she added more fuel to the fire by teasing, "Oh just you wait until I bring the VHS tapes."

But before Grace could even take one step, Ella interrupted by standing up herself, "Yeah, no. Not happening." She closed the photo albums and piled them up together before they could get to the ones of her in high school, and shook her head in disapproval, "You already did the photo albums and that's enough." Seeing that it was getting darker by the minute, she added a point that no one could refute, "Plus we need to start getting ready soon. We're going out."

The band and their missus looked at her in confusion, they had no idea they had more planned out for the day. Especially not since Ella hadn't mentioned anything and they had to leave Tennessee around three in the morning.

"Where?" The group asked in chorus.

"Oh there's this fun party down at the biggest pub in town, it's a tradition after Bonnaroo weekend." Ella shrugged as if trying to downplay it, but her failed attempts to hide a smirk made everyone's curiosity spike. But she didn't give them much at all, for all she added was, "Y'all better be ready, we're gonna have some fun."

Her sister was the one to give them a bit more clarity on her intentions by calling her out, "That's code for her getting you shit-faced."

Ella rolled her eyes and quipped back with a meek, "Fuck off, Lily."

One that Grace and Parker reacted surprised about, scolding them both with a quick, "Girls!" that had the sisters turning to them and raising their hands to feign innocence.

Ella was the one to defend herself verbally, pointing out, "What? She's jealous she can't go 'cause she's leaving tomorrow morning."

All it took was one glare from their mom to have both Ella and Lily swallowing their words, and all that was left to do was go back inside and start getting ready. It was almost seven in the evening so they'd have around three hours to make it there and get a table, therefore, Ella wasted no time to wave everyone in—they followed her inside after thanking Ella's parents for the meal and helping gather all the dirty dishes and bringing them inside—and plan on how they'd arrange the use of showers to utilize their time at the best of efficiency.

Since there were only two guest bathrooms, they'd have to take turns to shower. However, to try and be ready on time, while Jamie and Matt took the two guest bathroom showers, Ella had Breana shower in her ensuite and Lily let Katie have her ensuite. Making Alex, Ella, Nick and Kelly the ones to wait to have showers next.

While Bre was in the shower, Ella went to her dresser and found the little gift bag in which she'd hidden two of Alex's gifts and the other was set beside it. She grabbed them and slowly made her way downstairs, knocking on the door of the guest room Alex was staying in.

She had to knock two separate times since he didn't answer at first, and she didn't think much of it until he groggily opened the door and she saw his hair a mess and his eyes a bit red from interrupted sleep, "Oh shit sorry, were you asleep?"

"I was, yeah." Alex said sheepishly, his voice low and sultry, making her wanting to clench her thighs together.

Still, she winced and took a step back as she apologized, "Sorry. I can come back later."

But he shook his head quickly, one of his hands coming to her waist to bring her back close to him, "No, no. What is it darling? Wanna come in?"

She bit her lip briefly. The offer was tempting but she couldn't afford to act on impulse when she was still trying the best way to approach the fact that she was in love with him. It was her turn to shake her head, giving a different excuse to hold her cover, "I can't, Bre is coming out of the shower any second now but I have a few gifts for you."

His eyes opened wide at that information, and when she pulled out the silver gift bag from behind her, he let his shoulders hang and his lips formed in a pout, "Darling, I thought I told you to not be spending money on me."

"Yeah but I had to." Ella stated simply, like it was enough reasoning.

He watched suspiciously as her other hand stayed hidden behind her back, but still refuted her instead of asking about it, "No, you didn't."

She smiled sweetly though, handing him the bag and making it look like she was gonna let go of it any second so he had to take it so as not to have it fall to the floor. "I did because..." She started, digging her hand inside the bag and fishing out a mirrorball just like the one she had in her car, "You needed one of your own."

The feeling that washed over him was indescribable. It was like coming back home after being away for so long, like finding that peace of familiarity that you'd been searching after feeling lonely for way too long, like the warmth that sharing an inside joke with someone brought you, the way the laughter those elicited tasted so much sweeter on one's tongue.

"And you need to be properly ready for tonight." She continued, this time revealing what she'd been hiding behind her back: a brown leather cowboy hat lined with some worn-out looking studs. He took it from her in awe at how good it looked, but before he could put it on to make it a show for her, she said, "Wait, this first," fishing again for the bag and pulling out a bolo tie. She brought it over his head and put it on for him, adjusting it and patting it against his chest, in place and satisfied by the look of it, she smirked proudly, "There you go."

"This is for tonight?" Alex asked, slowly putting the cowboy hat on.

Fuck me, was all that went through her head. He looked so good in a cowboy hat, she half wanted to push him inside the room and get on her knees for him, to suck him off and look up at him dressed like that as she used her mouth to pleasure him.

She had to clear her throat when she realized she needed to answer his question, "Yes and you must wear it."

"What if I don't?" He challenged, slightly confused.

Ella shrugged and nonchalantly replied, "You'd be breaking the rules of the party."

It intrigued him even more. "So are you wearing one as well?"

"I will." Ella teased with a mysterious tone, and the way she shrugged again before adding, "Soon enough." made him raise a brow in silent questioning that she ignored.

With a little wave, she walked backwards a few steps before turning on her heels and going back upstairs. Her thumb came up to her mouth and she bit on the pad of it, nervously, as she couldn't contain her smile and a shriek when she got to her room.

Before she could get too distracted with her daydreaming about Alex in cowboy gear, she made sure to leave a hat for each guy in each of their rooms and once that was done, she went in the shower to start getting ready. Though she did get a little distracted by a few images her brain was conjuring, ones that involved a certain singer in that cowboy hat she'd specifically picked out for him, her hands wandered around her body for long enough to have her biting her bottom lip as she came, careful not to call out to the man she loved but didn't know it yet.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy?" Nick asked with a raise of his eyebrow, Kelly's arm hooked around his as they walked closer to the entrance of the southern bar.

Ella turned around at the inquiry, a smirk on her face as she continued slowly walking backwards and opened her arms as if presenting the event for them, "Ladies, you'll have to steal the hats of the cowboy you wanna ride tonight."

Katie and Breana giggled at the information, not even sure of what to expect. Matt had his arm wrapped around his fiance's waist and he made a show of tucking her closer to his side when he said, "Think that's already arranged, no?"

But Ella let her answer open enough to just hint about how messy this all could get if they wanted. "Have fun!" She sing-sang, giving them all a wink before turning on her heels to face the door, opening it wide for them all to come inside the establishment before her and when Alex walked through the threshold, her smirk got bigger as she was swallowed by the familiar tunes playing loudly inside the pub.

The lads had decided to go to the bar to get drinks first, getting what each of the girl's wanted before leaving the table they'd chosen; but when they came back, they learned that they had to be quick about putting the cowboy hats on their partners.

A guy had come up to Katie, clearly chatting her up because of how Katie's cheeks were red and her eyes kept going from the lad to Jamie. The guitarist had turned up a notch in his pace and walked quickly to the table, setting his wife's drink in front of her and dipping down to peck her lips so that the lad got the clue.

"Sorry man, didn't know she was with someone." The lad said with his hands raised, the lack of a hat on Katie's head confusing him but he realized his mistake when he dropped his gaze and noticed the wedding band that adorned the model's ring finger.

Despite the apology, Jamie made a show of taking it off his head and placing it on Katie's. The model blushed even more when seeing Jamie so evidently territorial and she bit her bottom lip when he nodded with a fake smile, "S'alright, now you know."

The tone of his voice was threatening enough to make the guy hurriedly turn around and leave, not even saying bye to who he had just tried to chat up.

Ella chuckled, watching as the rest of the band who had stood there halfway to the table with pressed lips was finishing their walk back, trying not to laugh at a fuming Jamie.

When they all placed the drinks on the table, Ella patted it to bring Jamie's attention back to them, since he had been glaring at the guy's back as he walked away, and with an amused grin, she loudly warned the lads, "They're fast so go on placing those hats on your girls."

It was enough for Nick and Matt to quickly place their hats on Kelly and Breana respectively. Ella brought her whiskey and coke up to her mouth to take a gulp of it and chuckled at the lads' panicked faces as the alcohol went down her throat.

Tonight is promising.

Noticing there was one cowboy left, Ella left her glass on the table and leaned back in her seat. She looked at Alex and wiggled her eyebrows to tease him, "Only a matter of time until they come to snatch yours away now."

But Alex surprised her when he shook his head, rounding the table to lean down and whisper in her ear, "Don't think so." just as he took the hat off his head and placed it over Ella's.

Maybe it was being home that brought her the confidence, or the delicious taste of Tennessee whiskey on her tongue, or perhaps finally giving a name to all that she felt for the singer, but she adjusted the hat on her head and turned to whisper back in his ear, "Good choice, sweets."

Everyone was looking at them when Alex stood back up straight, but Ella cut their gawking by gulping down the rest of her drink, slamming the glass on the table and then grabbing Kelly and Katie's hands and nodding Bre over to the dancefloor, "Let's go dance, my loves."

Ella was on a roll. She vibrated with energy as she danced around, going to the bar when she felt thirsty and gulping down half a glass before leaving it on the table to go back to the girls dancing.

There was a side of her that came out of hiding in her hometown, just like her accent had come back subtly in the timbre of her voice, they had seen it in the way she let go of herself the day before at the festival and she was a level of carefree they hadn't seen before.

The alcohol had been helpful at pushing her inhibitions further away from her mind. Hips swaying more confidently, her hold tight around Bre's waist as they danced together to a song they both adored, even laughing with the people dancing around her who were just fully feeding off her energy.

That was why she had been the first of the girls to go back to the table and pull one of the lads up to dance.

She clutched Alex's hands tightly and forced him up his seat, wordlessly guiding him to the dancefloor with her and even though Alex had no appeal to dance in the public space in such an unfamiliar setting, he just couldn't say no to her.

There was nothing she could ask of him that he would deny her.

And the few glasses of straight whiskey on ice had been helpful too at not thinking much about all the people around them.

His hands fell on Ella's waist as soon as she turned around when she deemed them far enough into the crowd of sweaty bodies dancing to the music. Ella's arms wrapped around his shoulders and he smiled at her when the flashback to Nick and Kelly's wedding reception came to the forefront of his mind.

Alex went along with her every move, his breath hitching in his throat when she'd come to press her front against him, so painfully aware of the feeling of her so close to him and how much he was enjoying it. Secretly wishing there'd be an opportunity to have her properly pressed against him without having to be dancing—he was wishing he could just do it for the hell of it, just because he enjoyed being so close to her and he would steal a kiss from her too if she allowed him to.

She looked breathtaking in a blue corset top that zipped up on her front, so her tits were perfectly scooped up and they looked as if they were about to spill out of the fabric. With it, she'd worn a white satin skirt that came down to her mid thighs but with all the dancing, it had come up until her red ink tattoo showed perfectly for everyone. She'd changed her worn out brown boots from earlier for a pair of red heeled cowboy boots, ones that made her look exquisite. And her hair fell over her shoulders in loose curls, a few strands framing her pretty face which had a bit of makeup that enhanced her beauty.

His hopes went up when she started leaning into him after a pair of songs, but she missed his mouth entirely, instead going further until she could speak right into his ear, "Wanna get another drink?"

With a nod, he confirmed he did want to and Ella led the way once again. She had ordered shots of tequila instead, asking for lime so she could bear the taste of the two shots she'd gotten each.

Casamigos burned down their throats when they knocked them down, Ella bravely going for the second one without the lime after the first and she hissed when her second ran down her throat. The lime did help, slightly. Alex watched as she tried to get the most juice out of the wedge she had between her lips, his gaze growing hazy under the influence and his thoughts going a bit off the tracks at the sight of her plump lips sucking on the fruit.

Two whiskeys on ice were added onto their tab, one for each of them which they leisurely drank as they watched the rest of their group taking space in the dancefloor. The girls had followed Ella's lead earlier and brought their own partners up to dance with them. It was hilarious seeing Nick try to dance along, he was so stiff trying to match his pregnant wife's energy. At least the bar was playing all sorts of music so they weren't stuck trying to figure out how to dance to country music.

"He needs another drink." Ella commented, sipping on her own before correcting herself, "A few more, at least." Alex agreed with a hum around the rim of his glass.

But Nick had barely had another two glasses of whatever spirits he was having by the time Ella and Alex were long into their journey of getting drunk.

The rest of the band and their missus watched not so subtly as Alex and Ella kept giggling about, leaning into each other to whisper things in their ears and sharing touches that stayed on their skin for far too long.

At the start of one of her favorite songs, Ella took off to the dancefloor without even thinking of dragging anyone with her and it was mesmerizing how the crowd opened up to welcome her and she so easily made people turn around to look at her as she came alive to the music.

Some joined her, girls mainly just cheering her on and trying to feed off her energy but Ella was too eye-catching, a guy taking the opportunity to wrap his arm around her waist and turn her around so she could face him.

Alex's blood started boiling when he watched that happen, but he noticed the way her hands only hovered over the lad's chest and she gave him a soft smile and a "Hi." that seemed the slightest bit enthusiastic.

The singer's gaze was stuck on them as they danced along some old rock tune he didn't recognize, he could hear Ella's giggles if he concentrated enough and he only noticed his white-knuckle clutch on the back of his chair when Kelly walked past him after coming back from the bar and asked if he was alright.

A forced smile and a nod was all that she gave her as an answer, his eyes not wanting to leave what was unfolding in front of him but it seemed the split second he had taken his gaze off them, Ella had disappeared.

Suddenly, a heavy weight dropped all the way down to the pits of his stomach, menacingly threatening to make him sick, as if all of the alcohol he had ingested was rising up his throat with each second that passed and he couldn't find her. But then she appeared from the left side of the room, alone, and Alex took a deep breath in relief.

Her hand came up to her head to adjust Alex's hat on it, and with a raised brow, she asked, "You alright?" His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol he'd had so far and his pupils were blown but there was something written in them in fine letters that she got curious about.

Yet, he didn't give him the answer she wanted to receive. Completely ignoring her, he decided to point out her actions, "Don't wanna take that hat off then?" It was subtle enough, he thought, a question that would give him a secure answer about what she was currently thinking.

And it was her smirk, along with the way she leaned closer to him—elbows on the table, chin propped on the palms of her hands, dreamy eyes—to say, "I don't think I will, no."

The slight scrunch of her nose, the way she slowly pushed herself off the table—giving him an eyeful of her cleavage—and the wink she left him with as she walked back to the bar ignited something inside him, something he would have trouble controlling as the night went on.

It was like he was fully magnetized to her after that, a minute had been too long for him to wait for her to come back from the bar so he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

His scent was unmissable, so easy for her to recognize even in a crowded sweaty room, so she hummed as she melted in his hold.

"Want anything?" She asked softly, her words careful not to show how much the circles his fingers were drawing on the skin of her lower stomach were affecting her heart rate.

Leaning in to reply, Alex couldn't help himself from dropping a kiss on the side of her neck, and he thought about how much he wanted to bite and mark her up as he took his time to come up with, "Whatever you're having, darling."

Her clenched jaw was a product of her trying not to let her mouth fall open and make sounds at the feeling of his lips grazing her skin and his hot breath hitting the sensitive spot of her neck.

The bartender came back with her glass and she asked him to please get her another one, words almost catching up on her throat when someone slipped behind Alex therefore making the singer press closer to her back and she could feel all of him so well.

Hurriedly, Ella took a gulp of her drink and Alex giggled in her ear at the speed of it. "Easy there darling." He warned as if he wasn't just as tipsy as her, the whiskey they had been having was no longer burning as it went down their throats.

His fingers clutching her tighter enhanced his proximity a tenfold, goosebumps breaking on her skin at the feeling of his face so close to hers and his hair tickling her cheek.

Soon enough, the bartender came back with Alex's glass and after the singer got ahold of it and thanked him, they went back to the table.

Under everyone's gaze, Alex found himself not giving a flying fuck about anything else but him and Ella. She had sat on his lap and joined the conversation Jamie and Bre had started, laughing loudly at Jamie's commentary on the place they were at, but she was slightly distracted by the way Alex's free hand came to rest on her thigh, rubbing over her 'Divine feminine' tattoo, making her shift on his lap, and making Alex groan against her shoulder.

She smirked at the reaction, playing dumb when she squirmed on him twice more in the span of the fifteen minutes they'd been sitting down, chatting with their friends.

In that last instance, he'd dug his teeth into her flesh after her ass rubbed on his hardening cock too well. His eyes had rolled into the back of his head, a moan stuck on his throat that he alleviated by biting on the crook of her neck and earning a gasp of pleasure from her.

Ella let herself fall back on his chest, a drunk smile on her face that he matched. She knew what she was doing and his reactions were driving her crazy, but she didn't know what to do next, so much rushing through her drunk mind that she struggled to pick the next move.

And then, as if by design, a 50 Cent song came on and Ella knew exactly what to do.

As they walked into the dancefloor, Alex could imagine every way this would go but when Ella stopped and wrapped his arm around her middle to start grinding on him, Alex swore he had died.

She leaned her head back onto him as her hips drove him mad with a pace that changed along with the rhythm of the song, he dipped his head into her neck, leaving wet kisses that only encouraged her to continue.

It wasn't long before he was groaning against her skin, starting to suck bruises on the sensitive skin of her neck in response. Ella whimpered and moaned, every time he sucked harshly and dug his teeth into her flesh, licking over his abuse with his warm tongue.

Their minds were reeling, the notion that they were out in public slipping away the more they continued. He grew harder against her ass and the flimsy satin of her skirt and the fabric of his black jeans did nothing to conceal the feeling of his bulge pressing against her.

Heat rushed through her, pooling in between her legs where she throbbed for him. Her brain was starting to cloud with need, a hunger that only he could satiate. She loved him and she needed him right then and there.

And so, without thinking of any of the consequences it would bring, Ella grabbed his hand which was holding her flush against him, fingers interlocking as she loosened his grasp only to drop it as she turned around to face him.

Their chests heaved as they made eye contact, and the second she caught the darkness in his eyes, her fingers wrapped around the bolo tie she'd gifted him and pulled him in to capture his lips in a heated kiss.

Words could not do justice to the array of emotions that exploded in their chests the second their lips met. But the lust that exuded through their pores was made palpable through the moans they let out when their tongues met.

Her white knuckle grip on the bolo tie loosened when his hand dropped from her waist to her ass and he grabbed a handful of it only to squeeze at it harshly, kneading it possessively and making Ella whimper against his mouth.

Up his chest until she could wrap her fingers around his neck, Ella let her hand wander. The pressure she applied on the sides of his neck made him moan sweetly, high pitch in need and Ella couldn't hold back the smirk that elicited from her.

She couldn't stop smiling after that, trying to continue with the kiss but he kept kissing her teeth until his lips started moving down her jaw and back to her neck, where he wanted to continue his attack.

But her breathy, "Let's go somewhere." interrupted his actions.

He was just as breathless as her, his voice almost a whisper under the loud music, "Where, darling?" Once his words were out in the air though, he dipped his head again to kiss down her neck.

"I don't know–" She said as she tried to look around for a place to escape, but then, Alex's tongue came flat in between the valley of her breasts, licking up from her cleavage to her neck and her knees buckled. "Oh fuck." She moaned at the feeling of his wet tongue teasing her flushed skin. In a desperate effort, she looked to the far right of the place and saw the neon signs that led to the washrooms, so with one last roll of her hips against him, Ella desperately said, "Bathroom. Let's just go to the bathroom."

With their fingers intertwined, they pushed through the dancing crowd towards the hallway of the bathrooms, but it seemed like their intentions were written on their faces in big bold letters for a security guard glared at them and warned them that they had to go in separately.

Ella rolled her eyes once she nodded walking past the big man in all black attire, with Alex pressed right behind her like a leech. She turned the corner and ran towards the first door she saw, which was unfortunately locked, so she tried her luck with the other three and they all were the same.

She sighed, exasperatedly, her slick cunt still throbbing for him and the feeling of him rock hard behind her wasn't helping.

"We can wait." Alex whispered in her ear, his voice deliciously falling in her ears and making her turn quickly to kiss him again.

This time Alex pressed her against the wall, one of his legs coming between hers and his hand falling to her ass again but this time to encourage her to press her clit on his thigh, to let the friction alleviate the ache in her core.

"Alex, fuckkkk." She mewled in his mouth, the friction making her jaw drop and lose her sense of logic long enough to stop kissing him.

But he cupped her jaw with his free hand, pressing on her cheeks softly to pucker her lips up and guide her back to where he wanted her.

He didn't want to stop kissing her. Not now, not ever.

Both her hands desperately ran up his chest and clutched onto his shoulders, nails digging into his clothed skin, trying to keep him there and give herself some support as her legs trembled beneath her. If Alex didn't have her pressed against the wall, she was sure she would've fallen to the ground.

Their eyes closed in pleasure, as if they were purely relying on their touch to memorize every bit of this moment. But when they heard a lock of one of the doors behind them come undone and open, their eyes snapped wide open and they barely waited a few seconds for the girl who came out of it to scramble inside and lock the door behind them.

To their despair though, the girl who'd come out had quickly walked up to the security guard and pointed out what clearly was about to happen in the bathroom Ella and Alex had just walked in. The big man wasted no time to go up to the door that the girl had pointed and slam his fist against it so hard that it made the pair flinch and open the door with a fright.

"Told y'all one at a time." He repeated his words from before with a stern look on his face. "I'm warning y'all, if I find you sneaking into the bathroom together again I'm kicking you out."

Unlike Ella who was on the verge of flipping off the man and telling him to go fuck himself, Alex nodded with an embarrassed smile and started walking away, not wanting to get them in trouble.

The singer looked at Ella's expression as they slowly walked out and he had to leave a few pecks on her lips to have her drop that menacing face before she could get told off again. His lips did the magic of loosening up her frown, and when he interlocked their fingers and guided her out of the area, she seemed a bit more relaxed.

She was still fuming though, and it was obvious when they walked up to the far side of the bar in a corner where no one stood and she crossed her arms and huffed like a kid before muttering, "Fucking cockblocker."

Alex chuckled, all that he could think about was how much he fucking loved her. "S'okay, darling, we can wait until we find somewhere else." He promised wholeheartedly, but it slipped past his drunk mind that they wouldn't have any time when they got back to Ella's house.

Ella pouted, "But I don't wanna wait." She really wanted him right then and there.

Alex's head hung at the pitch of her voice, whiny and needy. His blood rushed down to his cock all over again, when he made direct contact with her flushed chest and those tits he just wanted to see spill out of that corset and run his mouth all over them, "Ella..."

His breath hitched in the back of his throat when her fingers clasped onto the buckle of his belt and she pulled him into her, his bulge pressing against her mound. "Sweetness, please." Ella whined again, she didn't give a fuck about sounding desperate at this point.

"You're driving me crazy." Alex confessed before his lips latched onto a spot on her neck, directly opposite to one he'd left on the other side of her neck just before when they were dancing.

Under her breath, Ella cursed, "Fuck..." The feeling of him biting and sucking on her skin was lighting her up alive.

In that very corner they stayed, kissing and biting, hips rolling and hands wandering, moans spilling out of each other's mouths; and with everything, the need for each other grew and grew and grew until it became unbearable.

The desperation was clear in every kiss, in the way their bodies rolled and pushed against each other, in the way their hands kept the other in place with fingers digging harshly into skin, groping, pulling, scratching.

The whole group had lost sight of the pair after they disappeared from the dancefloor, everyone at the table too shocked by what they'd just seen them do to go out looking for them. But then ten minutes rolled by and then, ten more. And no one had a clue about where the horny pair had gone. That was until Breana and Matt were dancing and caught them kissing in the corner to the far side of the bar.

At first they were just gonna let them have at it, knowing how damn long it had been until the two had finally done something about the horrendous tension between them and the clear feelings they had for each other. But then, as the model and her fiance danced and giggled about Ella and Alex eating each other's faces and how they were about to just shag in front of everyone at that point, they noticed a big security guard glaring at them and talking through the radio clipped on his vest.

Bre narrowed her eyes suspiciously, anticipating something happening so she dragged Matt with her slowly to the edges of the dancing mass of people in the middle of the room. The man kept talking through his radio, his eyes never leaving Ella and Alex and it seemed like he was becoming annoyed by the behavior of the couple.

Sure enough, it looked like he had gotten an instruction through the radio and he started taking slow and steady steps towards them. It made Breana flinch, before her mind could process, she told Matt, "You get Alex, I'll get Ella."

The model had no idea how fast she'd gone, but she grabbed Ella's wrist and snatched her away from Alex in a split second before the security guard could get there.

Ella whined at the loss of Alex, her lips swollen, pink and wet but begging to have Alex's mouth back on them. A sheer coat of sweat was clear on her skin when the lights of the place fell on her from time to time, and her hair was disheveled in a subtle way under the cowboy hat which haphazardly took home on her head still.

"Are you fucking joking Bre?!" Ella complained loudly when Breana took her to the opposite end of the bar, far away from the man who had been planning on approaching her and Alex.

Breana saw the stern look on his face as she tried to settle Ella down, "Ella–"

Ella was fuming though, no explanation was enough to have ruined the moment for her, "No, why would you do that?!"

It was a childish tantrum she was throwing but Bre knew she was drunk so she couldn't blame her. Softly cupping her face, Bre whispered, "Hey. Hey." trying to get Ella to look at her. When she did, Bre kept eye contact to promise, "Trust me, you'll thank me tomorrow."

"Oh fuck off." Ella spouted with venom laced in her words.

Bre sighed in frustration before explaining, "That guard was about to kick you and Alex out. You need to either calm down or stop."

When Ella followed the way Breana was pointing at and saw the man from the bathrooms, she rolled her eyes, "Of course, that fucking cockblocker."

"Christ, you're drunk." Bre winced. She was growing more relieved by the second that she'd interrupted just for the sake of Ella's feelings and her mind not being a mess in the morning.

She'd seen Ella overthinking before and she had no idea how bad it would get if she and Alex got to do something while drunk and then him leaving to continue the tour the very next day. Or in the next hour, more like. And she already knew how it had ended the last time they'd been drunk and gotten horny.

"M'not!" Ella countered, stomping her foot on the floor like a kid.

But she wasn't a kid and Breana was straight up about what was going through her head, "You are! And now I'm even more glad I did this." Ella was done with the conversation, all that she was thinking of Bre in that moment was that she was a cockblocker and had ruined it all for her.

To impede her from leaving, Bre held Ella's and forced her to stay while she said, "Remember the morning after Nick and Kelly's wedding?" She felt the director freeze in her place, her muscles tensing at the reminder of that shitshow. Bre knew she had struck a nerve but Ella needed to realize that if she really wanted it to work out, she had to think properly and be sober to put her feelings first, which were the one thing that mattered most—if she was just horny, she could use her own fingers—but she couldn't ruin this potential with Alex. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Wanna go fuck him in the bathroom and then what's gonna happen in the morning? A repeat of that bullshit?"

With her jaw clenched, Ella huffed. "Don't."

"You know I'm right." Bre let out another sigh, she didn't want to seem like a bitch, she was just trying to guard Ella from fucking up her chances and hurting her own feelings by going about it all too impulsively. "I'm not doing this to upset you, I'm doing it to protect you from it all going to absolute shit again. You both need to be in all your senses if you want it to happen."

Ella felt like she was being scolded. Every bit of adrenaline evaporated from her body, and she felt herself coming down from the high she'd been on. She even felt like the drunken haze she'd been swirling in was dissipating, the annoyance and anger having sobered her up slightly.

Breana got her two water bottles before they could go back to the table, and when she got there, Alex was already sitting on his spot and offered her a loopy smile before waving her over to him.

This time she took a seat beside him, opening one of the water bottles and taking the hat off her head before leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder.

He'd been less audibly angry at Matt than Ella had been at Breana, but when he heard the drummer say that the security man had been coming towards them, he stopped glaring at his best mate with fury, understanding they'd gotten them away from trouble. Alex made a mental note to keep an eye out for the man so as not to get in trouble again; he'd said they'd get kicked out after all and that was the last thing he wanted.

Alex just wanted to keep enjoying the night with his darling by his side, just like she was right then.

About an hour went by after that incident. Ella had progressively sobered up thanks to the water she'd been ingesting and dancing away with the girls multiple times. She'd placed the cowboy hat back on the very second she got up from her seat the first time she went with the girls, and the thought of her making sure it was on her head before leaving made Alex's stomach flip.

She'd taken Alex with her to the dancefloor a couple times but since the group accompanied them as well, nothing like before had happened. Their giggles got lost between the music when they danced, their touch on each other more innocently than before—except for the times he let his hand playfully fall to her ass and she'd indulged in it completely happy to have that happen anyways.

For once, Ella had left her camera home—since she planned on drinking, she was aware of the fact that she'd be very clumsy and could drop it, lose it one way or another, or just forget it—so it had been Breana to bring her camera and be in charge of the pictures that evening.

She'd taken loads of pictures at the table already, making sure to document every moment and comically taking pictures of every one of the lads with their cowboy hats on before making the girls take their pictures with the lads' hats on.

Many of the girls on the dancefloor had been taken too but Bre had left the camera behind when they'd go more times than not, so when the whole group went to dance, she made sure to take the device with her.

They wouldn't know until weeks later how good those pictures had turned out to be. Not only technically speaking, but in terms of the moments that had been captured. Nick doing a funny dance with Jamie scowling in the background, Katie trying to balance her glass on her head, Kelly and Nick dancing while he held her belly from behind, Bre showing off her ring to the camera while adjusting her cowboy hat on her head.

When the lenses had been aimed at Ella and Alex, they'd stopped dancing to press their cheeks together and smile brightly—their grins so big, their eyes closed.

Bre focused the shot and once she got it perfectly, she counted down, "One, two, three!"

But the second the model yelled out three, Alex broke his smile to run his tongue flat on Ella's face, from her chin, over her lips and to her nose. There the tip of his tongue got stuck inside her nostril for a split moment before it ended up following its path up the bridge of her scrunched up nose. The shutter had gone off right in the middle of that.

The giggles that fell from Ella's lips gave Alex life. His heart swelled inside his chest and burst with love, so without much to think about, one of his hands coming to cup her face while the other held onto her waist to pull her in a dizzying kiss. A teeth-rottingly cute moment that had also been captured by Bre's camera.

In between pictures and kissing and dancing, the group got lost in the music, enjoying the moment so much that time kept flying by unbeknownst to their distracted minds.

Since it had been a while she'd had a drink, and she felt a lot more sober, Ella felt the need to get herself something from the bar. She and Alex had stolen Jamie's drink earlier and been sharing sips but she wanted her own, so she told him she'd be going to get herself a drink. He nodded and Ella knew he was about to go with her but she told him to stay with their friends and that she'd be back in no time.

Reluctantly, he agreed. Watching her walk away was a sight to behold: those legs of hers strutting up to the bar, her skirt barely covering her ass now after all the dancing and squeezing Alex had done. His fingertips tingled at the thought of touching her again, he just wanted to be all over her again.

So he slithered his way through the crowd out to the edge of it but before he could fully escape it and he watched as she waited for the bartender to take her order, a guy waiting around as well walked up to her and started chatting her up.

Ella's eyes were barely on the guy after he said hello because she watched as Alex walked out of the crowd with a wicked grin on his face. She barely listened as the stranger went on about how beautiful she was and, after he asked where she was from and she'd said she was a local, how weird it was that he'd never seen her before if she was from Manchester; her gaze was on Alex who was smirking oddly at the situation.

She was lost in how his fingers combed through his hair, the slight raise of his brow as if challenging her to go along, those lips she'd tasted all night long slightly parted as he watched.

Her ears barely caught the "Huh?" that the guy had uttered before he pulled back to watch her awaiting an answer, so she looked at him and said, "Sorry, what was that?"

The guy laughed, slightly amused, wrongly taking it as if she was trying to play hard to get but it truly was that she was plainly ignoring him.

"I said, whose hat is that anyway? Don't see you here with anyone."

He was bold, Ella would give him that but that didn't hold her back from rolling her eyes before placing them back on Alex, who's gaze burned on her and filled her with a prickling feeling from head to toe.

She didn't really feel the need to waste her breath answering, so she simply pointed behind the man at the singer and when he caught Alex's figure leaning against the wall, sipping on his drink with a deadly glare on his eyes, he nodded.

"Right." He sounded gutted and it almost had Ella breaking down in laughter. "Sorry."

"No worries." Ella replied, giving him a fake pity smile and patted his shoulder like he was a little kid she was faking to be sad to tell unimportant bad news to.

As soon as the stranger was gone, Alex started making his way up to Ella. There was a hungry look on his face, and she felt almost like a prey watching as she was about to get pounced on.

A rush of heat traveled between her legs and it grew in intensity, not only because of having been unable to attend to it before, but because when he reached her, his left hand came to grab a handful off her ass to pull her flush against him. His fingers dug into her over the fabric of her skirt, pinky managing to burn onto her skin as it pressed on a spot the satin couldn't cover.

Ella's hands pressed on his chest, eye contact unwavering as her fingers danced up over his shirt, past the bolo tie she'd gifted him and when they found his thin gold chain, she fiddled with it like she was unsure of continuing with what she wanted to do. Bre's words reverberated inside her mind, echoing annoyingly with a logic that she couldn't deny was valid.

"Was he bothering you?" He made sure to ask first, and if the answer was positive he'd be off to break that twat's nose in a second.

But she shook her head, licking her bottom lip before she cheekily let him know, "He just wanted to know whose hat this is."

Under her hands, she felt the vibration of his hum and it reverberated deep inside her, making her bite her lip not to make a noise of her own in response.

There was an underlying meaning when he looked down to her parted mouth and back up to her eyes and he said, "Mine, yeah?" It was so vague and, even though they were talking about the hat, it felt like they both knew it went further than that.

She was breathless by then, a heavy breath pushing past her lips that he felt hit his own mouth. She nodded so faintly anyone else could've missed it, but not Alex, he was watching her so intently and waiting for her answer.

It didn't take longer for it to reach his ears, a shaky "Yeah, yours." that sounded like it was coated in thick honey, so sweet he could melt to his knees right in front of her.

So much rushed through his brain at the confirmation. Yours. He wanted to make her his so badly, there wasn't a thing on the planet he wanted more than for Ella to be truly his but there wasn't much he could do now.

Just one thing.

His drink was hastily dropped with a thud over the bar, and his now free hand came to cup her jaw firmly to pull her into another kiss. Feeling her plush lips slotting between his was heaven, her arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close and her fingers tangling in her hair at the nape of his neck drove him mad.

He groaned hard when she opened her mouth to greet his tongue, each other's wetness meeting and tasting the alcohol they had been drinking all night. His fingers dug harsher into her ass and in response she offered him a soft moan that he swallowed gladly as he intensified the kiss.

It was as if losing count of how many drinks they'd had hadn't been responsible for their dizziness, instead it was the way their lips melted together and their tongues lapped at each other like there wasn't time to waste.

And there really wasn't, but their breaths grew heavy as they went and they broke the kiss with a loud smack that rang in their ears just in time for Ella to be tapped on the shoulder and get her order taken.

She barely gave herself time to tell the man behind the bar to give her two whiskey and cokes because she hurried to turn back around and cup Alex's jaw to clash their mouths together again. A moan rumbled through him at the pressure of her mouth on his, loving the desperation it exuded.

But he remembered he had to be careful about the man having his eye out for them so that they could properly enjoy their time together there. He pulled back with an enamored grin that had her stealing one last chaste peck of his lips before he suggested, "Shall we go sit down?"

Ella nodded without really thinking, she just wanted him close and she'd follow wherever he wanted to go then.

When they got back to the table, it was unfortunate how she took her own seat but he didn't let the half foot distance between them deter him. He pulled on her chair so it'd be pressed right next to his and, as they got thrown into their friend's conversation, Alex used the fact that the table was covering them up to have his hand rest on the top of her naked thigh. Not that they really needed to hide anything anymore, their friends had seen a lot happen already and they wouldn't be surprised about his touch on her.

She felt herself throbbing and becoming more uncomfortably wet the more he brushed his fingers on the skin of her thighs, cheekily letting his digits go further up and inside, enough to brush against the damp fabric of her underwear and have her struggling not to let out a sound.

In a desperate attempt to gain control over Alex's touch but not lose it completely, Ella clutched his wrist and kept him in place before she crossed her leg over the other.

A "Fuck..." came as a low mumble from him, her heat radiating right into his hand which was now trapped between her legs and he truly wouldn't have it any other way. He wanted to take her right then and there.

Ella turned to glance at him, just to scour his reaction to what she'd just done and lust was written all over his face. She wanted trouble, it seemed like, because she clenched her thighs together slightly, letting out a small whimper that only he heard. Alex's fingers harshly dug into the flesh of her thigh in response, not like a threat, but a taste of how badly he wanted her.

Alex took out his phone to check on the time, trying to see how much time they could have if they were to leave the place right then. He needed her so badly, he would leave the party right then no matter how early it could be.

But they had lost grasp of the notion of time because a horrendous 02:30 am flashed on his screen and he knew that it would be soon that they'd have to leave to go back to Ella's. They were gonna barely make it as well and he was sure that Steve would be fuming at him the following day since he had let the band stay a day longer if they promised to be in Pittsburg by noon. It was over nine hours to get there so that promise was long broken by then.

Over his shoulder, Ella managed to catch a glimpse of the time and her mischievous expression fell into a sad pout. She rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered, wholeheartedly despaired, "I don't want you to go."

He nodded. He didn't want to go either, he wished he could stay there with her and tell her how much he loved her in every way possible: with words, with his body, with his lips, moving mountains and bringing her the moon down from the sky if she wanted. He'd do anything.

"Not yet." He mumbled with his face turned to the side to look at her better.

Her gaze fell to his lips, they looked so irresistible and after having had them on hers multiple times throughout the night, she felt greedy and took another kiss from him. It was cute this time. Started as an elongated peck that deepened into a slow meaningful one when he moved in his chair and cupped her face delicately.

Before relaxing back on his chair, Alex stole a few pecks. It made her smile like a fool, and though she wanted to yell at herself for wearing her heart on her sleeve and being so obvious, she just couldn't not become putty in his hands when he was sweet like that.

She uncrossed her legs to let his hand free then, but he didn't let her take herself away from him that easily—his hands grabbed her legs and threw them over his lap, his hands coming to rest over her thighs which he grabbed with a hint of possessiveness. His left hand cupped the flesh of her thighs with determination while he used his right hand to just rest on her thigh and rub soothing circles on her skin. The contrast made her swoon, she kept trying to focus on their friends conversing around them but her gaze was drawn back to his touch on her again and again.

Thirty minutes. They had thirty more minutes.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It was unfair really, how she could barely have them for forty eight hours and how those seemed to have flown by before their eyes.

Those thirty minutes at the pub had gone by in a flash, between the laughter and chatter, and the new round of drinks they all got to cheers for the lovely weekend—more like an unusual two day bender as it had been Sunday and Monday they'd spent together—, they hadn't realized it was time to go until the bus driver texted the groupchat the guys had with Steve and the rest of the crew to say they really needed to leave as soon as possible.

The group quickly left the establishment, the panic of them not making it in time to properly soundcheck before the show enveloping them all. It was good that they'd been smart and put away all of their things in the bus before leaving for the party, but it didn't matter that much how much time that saved when they were waiting for their taxi to arrive and they were about fifteen minutes away from Ella's.

It was torture when the trip back to Ella's house felt longer, as if the minutes had intentionally elongated when she was feeling the weight of the imminent goodbye pressing on her chest and threatening to make it difficult for her to breathe.

Alex was sitting next to her on the van that had picked them up, and they were keeping each other as close as possible, silently and prematurely making up for the distance that would separate them very soon.

He kept leaving kisses on the top of her head, while she brought their interlocked hands up to her face and kept dropping pecks on the back of his hand. Wordlessly reminding each other that they were still there, tasting every second they had with the other.

Knowing now that she was deeply in love with him made it hurt so much more, and that was why, when they had finally gotten back to Ella's house and walked onto the cobblestone path and towards the bus, Ella had let herself break and with her voice trembling as she tried containing her tears, she pleaded, "Don't go."

Tears pooled in her waterline, the corners of her lips dropping in a sad pout that squeezed Alex's heart. A knot formed in his throat, the despair she felt was the one tugging at his heartstrings as well. He walked up to her slowly, fearful that if he moved quicker that he would be snatched away from her even faster.

"I don't wanna." Alex admitted too, in a whisper. His arms softly snaked around her waist but when they were properly wrapped around it, he clutched her tightly onto his chest.

"Just–" She tried to say but her voice broke. A confession of every thought that went through her mind weighed on her tongue, she wanted so hard to tell him but what difference would it make if he was leaving? She sniffled as the tears started running down her cheeks, she was so frustrated. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and kept him as close as he could to her, she could only mutter what she selfishly wanted for him to do, to not leave her. "Don't. Please."

Alex didn't move, only holding her tighter to him. His own tears fell when her chest started shaking against his as she started to sob. He had to pull back to wipe her tears and look at her in the eyes and console her with his words. But when he looked at those eyes he'd fallen hypnotized for, glassy and her nose reddening from her crying, his words failed him.

All he could properly do was kiss her.

The air charged with sorrow made the kiss feel incredibly moving, the second their lips touched and started moving together, something shifted. There was a new understanding, an underlying message that they both got.

It tasted salty from their tears, but it was slow and delicate. Their tongues didn't touch until she'd let herself whimper with despair into his mouth—those flames that had enveloped her earlier at the taste of him were long gone, all that was left was the heaviness of her chest that begged her to savor every bit of his affection, desperately longing for him already.

She didn't know if the alcohol was making it feel so much worse or if it was the fact that she'd come out of denial that made it so much more atrocious to have to see him go. All that it would take was her letting those words out, properly; yet, she didn't know if she was brave enough to be heard and then left behind for his responsibilities right after. If he were to reciprocate, she would run away with him from everything—if he felt the same, all he had to do was say the words and she'd go with him.

Yet, she didn't know for sure, but what she knew for a fact was that rejection and a goodbye on the same night would kill her, and she wasn't brave enough then to take her chances.

"Mr. Turner, we need to go." The voice of the bus driver interrupted them, making them separate with a sigh.

Their eyes were still close, foreheads pressed together and noses touching. They just didn't want to let go, they didn't want to start the course of distance after all that had happened in the past forty eight hours.

Alex sighed heavily, his eyes still closed as he muttered softly, "Fucking hate this."

Ella let a sad smile softly break on her face and she was about to say that she hated it too when Jamie walked out of the bus and informed Alex, "Mate, Steve is calling."

The sole mention of their tour manager, who had already been fuming in the groupchat when he learned that they were still not on the road, had Ella opening her eyes and tentatively pulling away from him. She whispered a simple, "Go." that broke her own heart.

Alex's eyes fluttered open and he brushed a strand of her behind her ear before teasing her delicately, "Thought you didn't want me to."

She couldn't find it in herself to sound playful, not when her chest felt like it was sinking into itself. "Don't wanna get you in trouble."

He shook his head, disapproving of her words. His thumb brushed her bottom lip before he corrected her, "No one I'd rather get me in trouble."

It made her want to scream at him, how smooth he was and how much harder he made it for her to say goodbye. If she only knew Alex was feeling the same, standing there teary eyed and pouting, begging him to stay and he was so close to actually telling everyone else to fuck off just to make her wishes come true. But she was so selfless, putting everyone first and it was devastating. He truly adored her.

One more kiss was shared, since they knew it'd be the last one until the next time they'd see each other again—and then it'd be a chance of will they, won't they since they were biting their tongues when it came to their feelings for each other. This kiss was similar to the previous one, but instead of feeling blue and their hearts breaking in their chests, it felt like a silent promise of a future to this, whatever it was so far.

"I'll see you soon, darling." Alex said sweetly when they parted.

She nodded, sniffling once more when more tears blurred her vision. "If you can have it even sooner, please do, sweets."

"Promise." Alex muttered, leaning in for another kiss. One last kiss. He needed one more, it felt like the last one hadn't been enough.

But it would have to be, because once more Jamie interrupted with an impatient, "Alex, mate." since Steve was blowing everyone's phones up with messages and calls.

Ella flinched when Alex yelled, "I'm fucking coming, fucking hell!" back in frustration.

He knew he'd have to apologize for that in a few minutes, Jamie not being the one to blame for the situation, but he couldn't not stay calm when he was being rushed through something so difficult. He frowned deeply, sure that if they were to be late the fans wouldn't have an issue waiting an hour or two more for the gig to start.

Before he could come back from his frustrated train of thought, he felt Ella's soft lips pressing a kiss in between his brows, instantly making his frown disappear and his expression to soften.

Devastating, that's what this all was. His heart hurt when he said, "Love you, darling." as a goodbye. Internally screaming out for her to understand that he meant it for real, with all of him in the way that his heart belonged to her and only her, that he was forever at her disposal.

All the while, her chest caved in when hearing those words and reciprocating wholeheartedly with a "Love you, sweets." that she prayed he would understand the real meaning to. That she'd be hers if he'd just ask, that she was willing to drop it all if he wanted her to be by his side until the end of times.

They both were so worried about trying to get the meaning behind their words across that they couldn't concentrate in reading each other's faces, because it was written so clearly on them and if they would just stop giving into their fears and waiting for the perfect moment, they'd already be enjoying each other in the way they'd been craving for so long.

Watching him walk up to the bus broke Ella's heart in a million little pieces. And when he turned around before stepping inside the vehicle, waving at her and blowing her a kiss, she felt all the tears she'd been holding back running down her cheeks.

She waved back at him with her free hand, and when she realized she still had his cowboy hat in hand, she put it on and blew him a kiss.

His. She was already completely his.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had cried herself to sleep that night. And that had done nothing but worsen her hangover when she awoke to rush to the toilet at around ten in the morning.

She felt like utter shit as she threw up all of the alcohol she'd consumed the previous night, her throat aching by the time she felt like she was done, tears streaming down her cheeks from the force of it.

After brushing her teeth, she clumsily made it back to her bed and fell asleep once again.

It wasn't until she woke up again around four in the afternoon that every emotion she'd felt the previous night came back to her as if her soul had come back to her body.

That uncomfortable weight on her chest came back and the knot that formed on her throat was quick to block her breathing so her despair quickly turned into a panic attack that had her sobbing and gasping for air messily.

All of it dawned on her all over again. How in love she was with Alex, how fucking unfair it was to see him go again, knowing he'd be moving to Los Angeles soon but not knowing exactly when to know for sure what to do next. The fact that the tour was meant to continue until the end of the year made her even more unconsolable.

Ella had no idea what she'd done until her phone rang one last time in her ear and then Breana's voice rang through the speaker, "Good morning, missy. Sleep well?"

The model's tone was playful, like she was planning on teasing Ella from the get go, but a sob ripped through Ella's chest as she tried to say, "Bre–" and that was enough for Breana's smirk to completely fall.

She froze in her spot for a second, right by the catering table inside the Monkeys' greenroom, but when Ella's cries continued in a heart wrenching manner, Breana scrambled to leave the room, "What's wrong Ellie?"

It took Ella a few deep breaths before she could quiet her cries down enough to properly talk, "I can't do this– This is so fucking exhausting."

Bre quickly dashed through the venue's hallways until she made it out back. Her brows furrowed and her heart sank when hearing the pain behind her words, "What happened?"

A heavy sigh came first and then, a notion everyone had been waiting for Ella to come to terms with, "Bre, I think I'm– I'm in love with him." Breana couldn't stop the soft smile breaking on her face when hearing that, and it only got bigger when Ella got more intently about it by reiterating, "I am."

There wasn't a chance for her best friend to reply with anything, because Ella's desperate words came out of her quickly, "Oh fuck, I'm so in love with him and now he's gone and I can't stop thinking about him."

The sobs that were coming from Ella's end of the call were making Breana want to cry, so she pleaded with her best friend, "Ella, breathe please."

"Why is it always like this?!" Ella asked out to no one in particular, ignoring Breana's request because so much was going through her mind that she just couldn't keep in anymore. "Why does it always have to be so complicated?"

Breana brushed her hair off her face stressfully, trying to find the best way to get Ella to stop overthinking, because that's what she was starting to do already.

"But it's not Ellie." Breana wholeheartedly refuted her, "Yesterday– God, you two were stuck to each other." And that was an understatement. "He really likes you, there's not a doubt in my mind that he does."

Ella had been remembering more and more of the party the more she thought about it after she woke up and everything she recalled happening with Alex brought her so much hope that she'd grown horrendously terrified of it all being a product of being under the influence. "We were so drunk Bre, what if it was just that?"

"But it isn't!" The conviction in Bre's words relieved Ella but also made her stomach flip with anxiety, "After all this time Ellie, do you really think he's not been pining after you?"

The silence that filled the call was loud when Ella couldn't answer the question.

Breana sighed, understanding why Ella was so wary about really giving it all a meaning, she didn't want to get rejected; but how could she when it was so obvious. So she painted the picture for her best friend, "It all adds up, and if anything, last night was the confirmation. Just think about it: you were kissing like horny teenagers, dancing and grinding on each other, his hands were never off you and you always had some hold on him too, giggling like idiots." A scoff of disbelief came from the model before she added, "You were stuck to each other the entirety of Sunday, so much so that Lily and Jayne asked multiple times if you were together and just hiding it."

Ella was speechless, hearing it like that felt like a huge eye opening moment. But Bre wasn't done, she continued with full faith on her own words, "I'm telling you, there's no way that this isn't it, Ellie."

Okay, Ella thought, if this is it, then what comes next? She was desperate to find an answer to that, "What do I fucking do then?"

"Tell him!" Breana replied in a split second, it was beyond obvious.

Yet, it didn't fit in Ella's brain how that could work when Alex was away. She refused to do anything about it if it was this way. "But I don't wanna do that through text, much less through a video call."

It was Bre's time to stay quiet, a few beats of silence passing before she hummed, "Yeah, I get that..."

Ella fiddled with her duvet, pulling on a loose string at the edge of it as she shared the piece of information that he'd confided in her and she had no clue if he'd shared with the rest of the group yet. "He's moving to LA. Has he told y'all yet?"

The model's brows shot up in slight surprise when hearing Ella already knew. Alex had only just told them all because the estate agent that she and Matt had worked with to get their house in April had contacted the drummer to ask Alex to give her an urgent call back since the singer wasn't answering his phone.

"He told us this morning."

"Fuck... I– I don't know what to do. When is it right? How do I even–?" Ella stumbled in her words, a new thought appearing on the forefront of her mind before she could finish the previous one, the cries that kept escaping her lips only making it harder to speak.

Breana smiled to herself, wishing she could be with Ella just to give her a hug and promise her it was all going to work out for her. "Ellie, babe, let's just focus on the good news here okay? He likes you, he really fucking does and that's enough for you to stop crying right now, okay?"

"Okay." Ella replied. Inhaling and exhaling steadily to calm herself down but when that pang of hurt pierced through her chest when she thought about how far away they all were, Ella gasped, "Oh god, Bre."

A chuckle escaped Breana's lips, she was still shocked it was the day that Ella finally said it out loud. "I know babe, I know."

"I'm in love with Alex." Ella whispered like it was the most insane secret to be uttered, like she had to keep it very quiet just in case. "What the fuck?" She mumbled to herself, a hand coming over her mouth to hide the way her jaw hung open at her own shock.

"Took you long enough to realize." Bre scolded her like a little kid.

And to that Ella scoffed, "What does that mean?"

"Means you've been in denial for far too long. Please let yourself be happy this time. Don't overthink it, it'll be fine." If she kept trying to think too much into it, expecting the worst possible outcome, it would only cause her pain that she could spare herself if she was logical about it. So Bre had to be Ella's logic for now, "He's coming back to LA soon, he said the house would be his next week or something like that. You'll have your opportunity then, okay?"

The thought of it all happening so soon broke her down again, a weak broken, "Okay." coming from her side in response.

Bre's chest ached for her best friend, she needed her to stop crying. "Just breathe Ellie, please."

She heard Ella hum before she started inhaling and exhaling again until she calmed down and when the model heard a few sighs that sounded settled enough, she made sure to ask, "You feeling a bit better?"

"Yeah." Ella said, easier this time. It'll be alright. He likes me, and I'll tell him soon, she kept repeating to herself like a new mantra.

"Okay good. Now I gotta get back before Alex starts asking if something is wrong with you, but text me if anything, okay?" Breana had seen the singer whip his head around when she'd rushed out of the room and she'd hurriedly asked Ella if she was okay. She knew that she'd walk back into the greenroom and he'd be the first to ask if something had happened with Ella.

Another hum of confirmation came from Ella and Bre hoped that didn't mean she was still crying. With a heavy sigh, Bre bid her farewell sweetly, "I love you Ellie, it'll all be fine okay?"

Ella was so much calmer then, and she didn't know how to even properly thank her best friend. She got emotional all over again when she replied, "Love you too Bre. Thank you, you're the best."

"I know." Breana cheekily replied, making Ella snort out in laughter—that was enough to make her feel accomplished all over again. "Love you babe, bye!" Bre exclaimed as she walked back inside the venue backstage area.

"Bye! Love you!" Ella reciprocated, pressing the red button right after and staring at the ceiling with her hope restored.

It'll be alright, it'll all work out.

Those words kept echoing inside her brain as she replayed the events of the previous night.

Every laugh, every touch, every kiss, all of it.

It kept playing on loop, her brain fixating on some moments more than others like when he had her pressed against the wall, hand around her throat and his leg slotted between hers, grabbing her ass to guide her into getting herself off on his thigh.

Fuck.

She hadn't meant to get all flustered when recalling it all, but her body quickly got hot at the memories. It was as if it remembered the many times her pleasure had been spiking only to plummet down when they were rudely interrupted.

That was why it had been so easy to let her hands roam around her body beneath the sheets, letting her eyes flutter close and imagine it was Alex instead, touching and pinching and pulling and scratching. That it was Alex pushing his fingers into her mouth, wetting them to finally touch her clit, circling it nicely and getting her all wet and ready for his fingers to mercilessly stretch her out how he wanted. Fitting two, three, four fingers in her and making her cry out in pleasure at the sting, scissoring his fingers inside her to get her ready for his cock. But not before curling his fingers perfectly to hit that sweet spot inside her that made her toes curl and having her cum all over his hand before he could sink all the way inside her.

Her orgasm hit her with force, sending her into a blacked out state. Her brain was fuzzy and her ears felt like they'd been filled with cotton after she came, her fingers cramping after she'd had a white knuckle grip on her bed sheets when she fell over the edge.

She was sweating, chest heaving and her mouth was dry. She needed a shower, some water and food. But mostly, him.

Ella had never had him but after feeling him so well through his jeans the night before, her mouth watered and her cunt throbbed to properly feel him for the first time.

She groaned in frustration as she walked into her bathroom. She needed to stop those thoughts before she made herself cum again, only to once again be disappointed it wasn't him who had done it when her eyes peeled open.

So Ella focused on making herself feel like a person again: taking a long hot shower that soothed her muscles and felt like a reset, changing into some comfortable clothes—having to put a hoodie over mostly because Alex had left a few love bites on her neck that she couldn't have her parents seeing if she wanted to avoid questions—and going downstairs to have some food and something to drink.

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(17/06/2014 19:37) Wish you were here with us. I really loved Manchester, don't think anywhere else will ever compare. Think I discovered a new side to you and it all just makes perfect sense. Can't wait to see you, darling. Soon, I promise. Love you xxxxx

Ella's stomach fluttered when she woke up and unlocked her phone to that text. She kicked herself mentally for missing it entirely the previous day—she'd gone downstairs after showering and she'd found her parents in the living room watching a movie, one that they paused and ended up discarding completely when they caught Ella going to the kitchen to have something to eat and started asking her all about her long weekend.

Her loopy grin had been impossible to hide as she recounted her four days spent on the festival, how it had been seeing the lads playing there and having them over at home. She eagerly recounted going to see the horses and taking them to the river, taking a few pictures and teaching Katie, Matt and Alex how to ride a horse properly.

Her mom had the biggest smirk when she asked about the party though, and it made Ella blush. Ella wasn't as open about her dating life with her parents as Lily was, usually waiting to speak about anyone she'd been seeing until it got a bit more serious—Grace didn't know a thing about what had happened back in 2012 with Alex until after Julian had broken Ella's heart; when she'd come home after that, she'd let it all out to her and Lily and it truly was a roller coaster of emotions because when the story time started, they hated Alex but by the end of it, they warmed up to him all over again after learning how he'd been taking care of Ella.

But Ella knew that look on her mom's face meant something else so she'd sighed and openly asked her, "You wanna know about Alex, don't you?" Her parents' eager nodding was enough of an answer for her to come clean about it all to them.

It had gone way better than she thought, a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she went on and on about how sweet he was, how thoughtful and caring. She had stuttered through the recalling of them kissing at the party, omitting the non-PG details of their night, and getting a bit worked up when telling them about the moment they had to say goodbye.

Grace had been cooing audibly all throughout, Parker laughing a bit when seeing Ella recoiling into herself when she got embarrassed about her mom's reactions.

"You two are adorable." Grace smiled sweetly at her daughter, her heart swelling in her chest out of pure joy to see Ella so happy with Alex.

Parker nodded, agreeing with his wife, but he needed to ask the one thing they'd been wondering all along, "So are y'all together then?"

They watched as Ella's face fell, her features covering up with sadness at the simple question. Except it wasn't simple at all, not the debate within herself, nor the circumstances they found themselves in.

"No. No, we're not." She mumbled, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie to cover her hands and fiddling with them while she got the courage to say loudly to someone else than Breana. "I'm in love with him. Really am, but it's complicated."

Her parents frowned, not really understanding how it could be complicated, "Complicated?" Parker asked, he was entirely sure Alex liked Ella, there was no denying when the singer looked at Ella the way he did.

They watched as she took a shaky breath, her gaze falling to her lap as she tried not to get upset about it again. The ache in her chest was impossible to ignore though, and crying about it seemed like the only way to cope with it.

"Well he's still on tour and we barely see each other, and I don't wanna tell him through the phone." She sniffled when a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Her parents grabbed one of her hands each and she looked up at them, teary eyed but with a thankful smile. "He's moving to LA and I– I don't know exactly when, but I know that I'm telling him once I know he's there and staying. Maybe after the tour ends at the end of the year. I don't know how I would be able to cope with a long distance relationship if I told him before."

Grace offered her daughter an understanding side smile, but she had to disagree with Ella's plans, "I think you should tell him honey. Through the phone or even if you just get to see him once and he has to go. You can't keep hurting yourself by staying silent because you're scared of distance." She shook her head because the thought of her daughter crying daily because of the guy she loved being far away hurt her tremendously. "You can't say you're not gonna be able to make a long distance relationship work when true love can work through it all."

Ella frowned, her tears rapidly rolling down her cheeks then, "'That's so cliche, mom."

"But it's true! Love finds a way, honey." Grace squeezed Ella's hand, as if that helped make her words more real. "And distance makes the heart grow fonder, so it would only make it better when you two see each other again, if you know what I mean." Grace joked with a smirk and wiggling her brows.

It made Ella chuckle, which turned into a cackle when Parker audibly complained and gagged about the lewd insinuation. But the director wasn't sure her mom was understanding the situation, "I'm not even sure if he likes me like that, mom. I– Bre says he does or else he wouldn't have acted the way he did last night but what if it was just the drinks? I mean I hope it wasn't just that but I can't get my hopes up like that, I would be broken if he doesn't feel the same."

Ella's dad stared at her with an amused smile on his face, which Ella scowled at and asked, "What? What's funny?"

Parker shrugged, "That you think he doesn't like you back, or love you for that matter." He sighed and Ella was about to open her mouth to say something but he lifted his finger up and tutted. "No, hold on." He took a few seconds to put his thoughts in order before he spoke, "Have you seen the way he looks at you? Not to add the way he always keeps you close, which made me want to pull him aside and ask him a few things many times. Us and your sister had been wondering all day long if you two were together and just hiding it 'cause you didn't want your old man bothering your boyfriend—you didn't like it when I threatened that other stupid boy back when you brought him home so..."

Ella went to speak again, but her dad wasn't done. "And then, Lily tells us you were even worse the day before at the festival? I mean, we were expecting you to pull us aside and quickly tell us you two were dating before going to that party." Parker shook his head, his confidence in his words was unwavering, "There's no doubt in my mind that he feels the same. You just need to tell him and spare yourself the tears, sweetie. Breaks my heart seeing you cry like this but you need to do it if he's not gonna do it first."

Hearing Bre's words had helped her slightly but it all resonated louder when it came from her parents.

"D'you really think so?" She asked shyly, needing some more confirmation.

Her parents nodded in sync, but it was her dad who spoke, "I don't think so. I'm sure hun."

After that, a smile stayed on Ella's face until she went back to her room. She'd taken her hoodie off before getting in bed, and when her gaze fell on the couple of bruises Alex had left on her neck, she giggled like a schoolgirl before throwing herself on her bed and sighing when thinking of him until she fell asleep.

With quick fingers, she texted him back as soon as she'd seen the text the following morning. Butterflies fluttered uncontrollably in her stomach as she went over his message once again before sending her reply.

(18/06/2014 10:03) Miss you so much sweets. My heart is full hearing you loved it here and I'm glad it makes sense, this place is all of me, my soul really. Oh I can't wait to have you back in LA!! Let me know how everything with the house goes, okay? Love you more xxxxx

She felt like a Disney princess as she got out of bed, opening her window to hear the birds chirping outside and humming a soft tune as she got ready for the day.

She was planning on spending the day helping around with the stable and the horses, maybe cutting the grass with her dad or helping her mom clean the house before she had to go to the airport around seven in the evening. Her flight was leaving from Nashville, so her parents would have to drive her over to the city and it was around an hour long drive—it was gonna be a very long hectic day.

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By the time she had finished cleaning around the stable, after taking Birdie out for a lengthy stroll, the clock was painfully nearing three in the afternoon so she knew she had to rush inside, have some lunch, quickly finish packing her case, tidy up her childhood room and get ready for the airport.

She looked crazy going around tossing her things into her open case in just a towel with her wet hair dripping all over her wooden floor. She tried her best to multitask, eating a sandwich she'd made herself as she blow dried her hair and picked up the mess of makeup she'd left atop of her dresser.

Thankfully her efforts to hurry up paid off and she was in the backseat of her dad's truck about a bit over two hours before her flight.

She got there with an hour and a half to spare before her flight was meant to leave and she was so glad to see that there weren't big lines around the place so she could go through quickly and be at her gate with enough time to spare to get some food before boarding.

As always, hugging her parents goodbye was horrendously sad. It reminded her of the first time she'd left them to go to university and though she thought it would get easier with time, it never did.

She'd been crying even as she ordered herself a McDonalds meal before heading to her gate, the wave of emotions she'd felt for the past week making her pathetically cry as she ate her burger and fries.

But once the plane took off and she watched the city of Nashville getting smaller and smaller beneath them, she took the time to go back through the memories she'd made and she felt so warm and fuzzy inside at the collection of moments she was privileged enough to have stuck in her brain forever.

Going back to LA got her excited all over again, eager for what could happen if Alex closed the sale sooner than she was expecting, especially now that she had her parents' words echoing inside her mind which only helped her grow the courage to tell him.

She knew then, she wouldn't do it through text or through a call but if he closed the sale before the end of the month like he had said then he'd be coming to Los Angeles to sign and get his keys and she knew that it would be her perfect opportunity.

Her eyes fluttered closed, letting the feeling of being in the air back to her second home lull her to sleep.

It'll all be alright, it'll all work out.

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Around three in the morning Ella landed in LAX. Being back in the city made her smile, she really couldn't describe how it felt to be back there—it was like being twenty, hopeful and constantly daydreaming all over again.

When she was waiting for her suitcase to come rolling around at baggage claim, she checked her phone and her heart grew in size when she saw a new message from Alex.

(18/06/2014 23:51) Miss you so much more darling. I'll be back very soon, I think the sale closes next week, but I'll let you know for sure as soon as I find out. And that's impossible, I love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxx

Ella threw her head back, biting her tongue not to giggle like an idiot, but she looked pathetic enough smiling like a fool up at the ceiling of the airport.

She loved him so fucking much and it was starting to seem clear that maybe he did too. And the notion made her so incredibly giddy.

So much so that it didn't matter that she'd gotten back home at half past four in the morning and she'd showered and gone to sleep for barely five hours. She didn't care that she'd had to scramble to get ready to go to work, and she smiled brightly at everyone who greeted her when she arrived at the office.

She'd let herself freely blush when Ben came to her office to ask about how it'd gone and teased her about Alex for most of the time. The director had even managed to get out of her that she did like the singer, and she'd let out a bubbly laugh when he'd exclaimed he knew it all along.

But her elated mood had plummeted down when she opened up her Twitter app as she had lunch in her office.

She'd choked on the bite of chicken she'd taken when she saw a bunch of people sharing an article about Alex and Alex, who had apparently been paparazzied in New York just that morning.

Of course, Ella's curiosity got the best of her and she clicked on the article. How she wished she hadn't made that mistake, how she wished she hadn't followed a bunch of Arctic Monkeys related accounts on Twitter so that stupid article hadn't shown on her timeline to begin with.

She was trying her best not to loudly sob in her office, but still desperately trying to get ahold of Breana to let it all out because it really fucking hurt—she was the one who knew about her feelings for Alex, the only one she could tell this to at least.

The second Breana picked up, Ella whimpered, not even trying to hide that she was upset, "I'm so fucking stupid Bre."

"What happened?" The model sounded panicked.

"Why did I have to go and fall in love with a fucking famous musician when I'm just another boring, normal girl?!" She frowned in frustration, aware she sounded like a child but she just felt insignificant.

Bre frowned, entirely confused by her words, "Okay first off, you're not a boring normal girl. And second, what's happening woman?! I'm so confused over here."

"This fucking article." Ella sobbed, muffling her cries with her hand. She breathed deeply a few times to calm down before she could explain, "Alex and Alexa were photographed together in New York earlier today, and they're saying how there's been rumors about them 'rekindling their relationship' ever since Jamie and Katie's wedding."

This was news to the model, she hadn't heard shit about anything happening between Alex and Alexa and she literally was part of the lads' close circle so to her those rumors sounded like utter bullshit to her. "Ella, it could be nothing. You know how the tabloids are."

But Ella had been on the phone to Alex when Alexa had appeared outside, bumping into him. And it had been entirely fine then, she was mostly sad she hadn't been able to be there but this article made her mind start spinning; especially since her very own name was written in it. "They mention me, Bre. And they make it sound like I'm just... a nobody." She took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry as she read out loud what it said, "It goes: 'Another mysterious woman had been linked to the rockstar not that long ago. Around the time the band headlined Glastonbury for a second time, a few fans managed to bump into the pair in the streets of Manchester and Turner's native Sheffield, and caught that her name was Ella.'"

Bre's face fell as she heard all that, afraid for her best friend's privacy having been breached just for the tabloids to chat wank, "Oh shit."

But Ella got hurt all over again when she glanced at what came next, "No wait, it gets fucking worse." Clearing her throat, her words came filled with anger as she read them to Breana, "'After a bit of research, the identity of the woman was revealed to be Eleanor Hayes, one of the directors of the latest AM music video and the one credited to be behind the camera in the upcoming documentary of the recording of the Monkeys' fifth studio album. She's also been credited as a PA for many of the Arctic Monkeys' previous music videos and the photographer to capture a bunch of our favorite pictures of the band. It is unsure if there was ever anything between the singer and the director, but all we can say is that you definitely don't hold hands with just a work acquaintance nor do you take her out to the pub and a game of footy with your dad. But any intrigue that was still lingering when it came to the pair has been thrown out the window now that we have seen these pictures of the iconic couple in the streets of New York. It feels refreshing to see things go back to how they were and what better news to wake up to than Alex and Alexa finding their way to each other. Maybe that engagement will work out this time around? We just hope we get a spot in the guest list!'"

When the director read that last sentence, her voice broke and she barely managed to finish reading the ending of the dreadful piece. Bre felt her chest getting heavy for her, only being able to let out a soft, "Ella..." as she tried to look for words to console her.

"I feel sick." She'd pushed her food away after reading the article for the first time. The mention of a previous engagement made her blood run cold and the tears had started falling instantly.

Yet, Bre was entirely sure it was purely a situation where the media was just trying to get clicks. She didn't even know he'd seen Alexa in New York and they were already in Delaware to play a festival. "Don't pay that attention. It's bullshit."

"But what if it's not?" Ella whispered in desperation. Every bit of hope she'd had, had dissipated like smoke in the wind. Was there even a point if there was a window open for him and Alexa? I mean, in her head the decision wasn't hard: the model, fashion guru, it girl, internet sensation, tv host Alexa Chung; and then there was her, just another director and photographer that lived in the city of angels. The city was littered with more hers, he could find another her without any effort, but there wasn't really another Alexa Chung.

Ella just wanted to disappear and never come back. She felt pathetic and embarrassed to even think she had a chance in the first place. It pained her having to have Alex be one of those people she fell for but nothing happened, one that would forever haunt her what-ifs, and it would be easier to completely push herself aside but it would hurt so much more to lose him.

Fuck!!! Her head was going to explode.

"He hasn't said anything about Alexa all day babe. I promise you." Bre swore through the phone, because she and the guys had been chatting the whole way there and the name of his ex had never been brought up.

Ella wasn't looking at the positives of that statement though, all that it meant to her then is that he was keeping a secret, and that just made it so much worse. "But–"

"No. No buts." Breana wasn't going to allow Ella to belittle herself and throw herself down a rabbit hole that would just make her cry even more and break her own heart in the process, "Nothing's happening between them." She easily said, because she was completely sure of it and the model prayed that the words resonated with the same conviction inside Ella's head. But just in case it didn't, she needed to put forward some solid proof, "Do you think he would've been like that with you in Tennessee if there was anything going on between them?"

No! her subconscious said, he wouldn't have!! But she wasn't sure what to believe or think anymore, her head was a mess. "I don't– Fuck. I don't know. I don't know what to do."

She was starting to grow desperate, all the words she'd thought of telling him tickling her insides as if wanting to get out of her chest. Was there even something she could do?! She had no idea.

"Stop stressing." Breana said as she tried to find answers within her, but nothing to her knowledge could settle Ella down; all she could do was try to calm her down with her words.

Ella scoffed, "Yeah well, easier said than done, Bre."

"I know but–," Bre had no idea what to say, "It's gonna be alright Ellie, you'll see." She had a feeling, a hunch that this was nothing and that everything would work out for Ella soon. She frowned thinking back to the words of the article, "I didn't even see them talking at Cookie's wedding, what the fuck are they on about?"

"Oh well, I did." Ella chatted back exasperatedly, "Was on the phone to him and then she came up to him so I ended the call."

"Fuck." Bre muttered under her breath, entirely unaware of that.

A chuckle rid of any amusement came from Ella in response, "Yeah, fuck."

Ella sounded so deflated, a heavy tinge of pessimism that was uncharacteristic of her coating her words. Breana was used to Ella's overthinking and being superstitious, not being entirely cynical and nihilistic, "No. Stop. Nothing's happening there, I know it."

"Hmm." Ella hummed just purely to sound like she was listening, Bre's words slipping right through her ears.

"Do I need to remind you about the party?" Bre made an effort to make Ella see the facts again.

The sole mention of that night made Ella's heart heavy, "No, because I will cry again." Her warning had been too late because she immediately whimpered as tears started falling again at the flashing memory of them kissing, the passion with which he held her and touched her that she just didn't know what to make of anymore.

"No, Ella, don't cry." Breana begged with her voice dropping to a whisper full of pity.

Ella sobbed the quietest she could, dreading having someone hearing her, but despite her voice falling to a broken whisper, Breana's heart broke as if she had let out a heart wrenching scream, "I feel so pathetic."

"You're not. It's fine. I promise." She scrambled for another way to confirm that those rumors were just bullshit, hurriedly assuring Ella, "I'll ask Matt."

Sniffling and calming herself down with deep breaths, "Okay."

"But it's nothing, okay?" Breana said again, "You hear me?"

"Yeah." Ella let out with her voice wavering.

From afar, Bre watched as Alex and Matt walked towards her with amused frowns on their faces as she'd ran away from them the second her phone rang.

Faking a smile, she waved at them, only to turn around and quickly reiterate, "I love you. You're fine, it's all fine. It'll all be fine."

"Yeah. Love you." Ella replied quietly, as if she was working on automatic drive.

Out of the corner of her eye, Breana watched as her fiance started jogging towards her with a smirk on his face, looking as if he was planning on tackling her as a joke. "I gotta go but text me, okay? Don't be upset."

Ella hummed hearing Bre's hurried words, knowing it meant she was busy so she bit her tongue to not cry again.

"I love you!" Breana exclaimed before ending the call.

The truth was that Ella didn't want to be alone with her thoughts but unfortunately the world kept moving despite hers feeling like it had come to a full stop.

And now she had to swallow it all back and act like nothing was happening because Alex had technically done nothing wrong and if she wanted answers then she'd have to take her heart out and hand it to him and she really wasn't sure that that was something she wanted to do anymore.

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A/N: I hope you didn't think I was gonna give you a smooth ride by the end of this just because it's the last few chapters hehehehe. But I do hope you enjoyed this and you're welcome to yell at me all you want, I'll allow it lollll Still can't believe how long this chapter is but I know it'll take me a bit to come back with the next one so I'm glad I can leave you with a treat while the next chapter is in the works. Sending yous lots of love and I hope you have an amazing week, mwahh!!! xxxxx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

[tyxoxo]

Ylang Ylang - teaser.

teaser, find full fic here.

| pairing: fairyhunter!jeno x fairy!reader (afab) au w/ fairy!xiaojun x fairy!reader (if you squint)

| genre: suspense, angst, fantasy, multiple nct/wayv + aespa character inserts, jeno and hendery are brothers

| summary: while being close to you and your family’s extinction, a promise needs to be broken to save the lives of your people

| words: loading…

| (future) warnings: murder, blood, torture, cnc smut + suggestive scenes, blackmail, kidnapping, exhibitionism, caging/imprisonment, degrading, spitting, unprotected sex

(this is purely fiction, warnings in bold mean potentially triggering content)

a/n: @jenomov and i came up with this concept out of nowhere and we decided to start writing our own versions. BUT i did make a header for us to share while she typed up the summary (which is awesome cuz i suck at them). just thought i’d clarify so no one would think we’re stealing/plagiarizing each other's work. just think of this as a collab! :’)) also, jeno’s look in the header is essentially how i envisioned him to look for this story but imagine him however you want (can’t help that haechan takes great pictures ㅠㅠ) 

playlist: 

livv? - ylang ylang

weatherby - fleeting frozen heart 

alex sloane - mine

datfootdive - stars

“C’mon Xiaojun, spit it out already!!” 

You teased at your loving best friend, shoving him playfully with a single finger as you watched him struggle to speak lucid sentences.

The two of you were in your favorite and most “private” hang out spot—in the trees on the outskirts of your shared village. Far enough away from the hustle and bustle of the community, but close enough for comfort. Though you tried your best not to drift into the terminology of “safety”, “danger”, or “warnings.” 

It was a sure way to initiate ill omens.

Both of your parents were aware of your shared infinity for exploring; venturing past the municipality limits. But as long as the two of you shrunk to “the size of a quail” outside of the village, they allowed you to bask in the wonders of blaring curiosity, to your heart’s content. Your species could never truly bring your guard down…

“Sorry…I just can’t form my words today.” He scratched the back of his head as peered down at his lap, rustling the Crane's-bill flower crown perched atop his mauve hair in the process. 

“Since when do you ever really form your words?” 

This time you gave a subtle laugh to pair with your smile, hoping to ease his obvious discombobulation. 

“You’re right. I don’t.” 

His eyes met yours, his wings even twitching, which always signified when your kind was flustered.

He continued again, pulling at his own thumb as he drifted his eyes up to the newly blossomed tree leaves; an obvious attempt to avoid eye contact.

You could try to deny it for as long as you lived, but there was something within you that adored him more than he probably ever knew.

It was his tenderness, his soothing voice, his patience, whether it was those nights you stormed out of your house in search of him, as a form of solace from the constant nightmares of your genocide, or the days that you wanted to rant about your parent’s overprotectiveness (though they’ve eased up in recent years).

Anything you needed, he was there. And you always tried your best to do the same, despite having the feeling that he bottled up some of his troubles to keep from feeling like a burden himself.

“Well…I w-wanted to tell you, that I really appreciate you.” 

He gave up on his own finger trap, to tug at the bottom of his white flounce shirt, finally meeting your eyes again with another twitch of his translucent wings.  

“I appreciate you too Xiaojun, always.” 

You leaned forward, so light that you barely caused the branch underneath you to stir. He froze upon witnessing your close contact, only his brown irises lowering to watch as you took both of his hands into your own.

“Is everything okay?” 

You didn’t mean for your voice to come out in a whisper, but his stuttering had become more frequent, and this only made your thoughts whirl just as loudly as his.

If only you knew that he was on his way to confess his true feelings to you, if only he could get his mouth to work as fast as his brain, maybe then he could finally pull the weight off his shoulders.

But you made all of this difficult without even trying. His love for everything that was you, was infinite. 

Even your constant teasing.

And the glimmer in your eyes was no match for his composure, let alone the way you held his hands. 

You scanned his face in search of an answer, that definitely took too long for him to spill.

“Yeah don’t worry, everything's fine.” 

You tilted your head in confusion, wondering where this could possibly be going, knowing he was aware of your ever-so-obvious “what’s the deal” persona. 

He cleared his throat, and geared himself up for the revelation of a lifetime,

“I’ve been m-meaning to tell you that I really like you…that I’ve always dreamed of what it would be like to have this moment with you.”

You felt your wings twitch, more noticeable than his own. And the warmth that flooded your entire body could’ve lit the entire forest in a swarming blaze. 

“W-would it be crazy if I asked you to be mine—”

His lips seemed to come at a rest in slow motion, eyelashes fluttering in stark contrast as he heard your breath hitch in your throat.

Not even the sun’s rays that flashed through the white pine tree could’ve taken you out of your shock. 

You used what seconds you had left, to replay his confession in your head,

“…I’ve always dreamed of what it would be like to have this moment with you”

Xiaojun, your best friend since childhood, had always dreamed of this.

But the thoughts of responding were ripped away, as blood-curdling screams roared from the direction of your home. They weren’t light hearted nor playful by any means, and with the ability to hear great distances, the agony that bestowed upon your ears caused you both to wince in fear. 

Xiaojun turned his head to look through the leaves, skin turning pale upon hearing further destruction. 

Most of the branches obscured your vision, but it didn’t take much longer for the despair to continue. 

“They found us!” 

That voice, sounded like Karina.

And her frenzied words gave the answer—after 10 years of hiding, the hunters were back. 

You felt your heart drop to your stomach, the ability to breathe becoming a distant memory.  

You squeezed Xiaojun’s hand as you crawled through the thick pine, your best friend eventually grabbing your waist to stop you from venturing out too far.

“Stay back!” His hushed tone was never this turbulent, bringing all the more truth to the chaos brewing just a mile away. 

“This can’t be! We have to go help!”

“It’s too dangerous, I can’t risk you getting hurt!” 

Your adrenaline was too much for Xiaojun, as you managed to fight through his tight embrace or rather his hold on your longing to see your family and friends for what could be the last time. 

“Let me go! We can’t just sit here and do nothing!”

You attempted to gear your wings for flight as you broke through his hold, hands raking through the leaves to get a clear view through the sea of green.

As you hovered past the pine tree, a familiar being appeared to be flying this way, the telltale sign being the blush colored wings that matched the embroidered dress swaying through the win at high speeds.

It was Giselle. And upon her getting a closer distance, you saw the blood spatter that painted her arms in fresh crimson. 

She was her natural size, like what your kind all chose to be while in the comfort of your home, and the only guess as to why she didn’t choose to shrink was the amount of energy it took to do so. She seemed to grip at her side as the blood continued to stain her silk dress, not once looking up at which direction to fly. Her Dahlia flower crown was nowhere to be found, something that she cherished more than anything in the world.

You had to help her, get her to safety within the trees, whatever you could to secure a better fate. But the constant screams kept you too terrified to react, and being out in the open like this was indeed risky. 

Before you could muster the strength to call her name, Xiaojun was behind you, the vibration of his wings filling your senses. He leaped at you once again, this time pulling you back towards the trees with labored breaths.

He couldn’t just do this to you…prevent you from saving a life, from saving not only your friend, but his friend too.

You managed a measly call of her name, knowing her advanced hearing would be enough. And successfully, she glanced up for the first time since her escape, to watch as you motioned for her to join together in the same tree.

Her face, lit up with hope, was the last sanguine expression to ever grace her face, as the all too familiar sound of a crossbow arrow being loosed from its quarrel sped towards her injured frame.

Your scream, one just as gut-wrenching as those that continued from your home, was muffled against Xiaojun’s palm as he pulled you back within the tree. You were forced away from any further intervention, forced away from burying your guilt.  

Giselle flung forward from the sheer impact of the arrow as it shot through her heart, her umber strands flying through the air in the same intensity; entire body falling face forward onto the red speckled Bermuda grass.

You couldn’t look away, not while you witnessed her final moments—eyes drifting up to meet yours within her last breath, wings falling lifeless against her spine, and a faint smile from knowing you would be the last person she would ever see, instead of the hunters that were walking towards her. 

Your entire body shook against Xiaojun, trembling in fear that her killers would surely discover the two of you here.

“Fuck! Hendery I had her!” 

An unfamiliar voice, but one you would never forget, roared through the clearing that led to your dead friend. 

You never felt so much anger from a person before, someone that you could only imagine was seething at the teeth.

Xiaojun finally took his hands away from your mouth, allowing you to inhale as much as you could before they got too close. But he still kept his arms wrapped around you, fighting through his own sobs that hit against the back of your neck.

“No Jeno! I’m not letting you fuck this up anymore! Remember what Johnny said?”

Yet another unfamiliar voice, but you were able to put the faces with the names right as the two humans approached just meters away, barely appearing disheveled despite the chaos they just unleashed. Thankfully their lack of enhanced senses worked in your favor, as you and Xiaojun remained undetected during their inspection of the area.

The one holding the crossbow was Hendery: he had to have been the one to take the kill. And the one to speak first was Jeno. 

These had to have been the hunters your family warned about. For years since relocating to this new area, all of the last surviving elders made it their mission to describe these two, for if the day came that they scoured the land again, you would instantly know it was them. 

—

lmk if you want to be added to the taglist!!

[frost-queen]

New to the city (Reader x Peter Parker) TASM

Requested by: anon Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia,@alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine

Gwen’s words started to fade out as Peter’s gaze shifted beyond her. His eyes falling on someone clearly new and still searching. Paper in hand as your head turned curious trying to read the tags on the doors. Gwen kept talking as Peter lost all interest in her. – “I’ll…I’ll be right back.” – he said patting her on the shoulder while going round her. Gwen stopped talking, turning confused. – “Peter?” – she called out stunned. Peter ignored her walking up to the girl.

He lowered his head a bit to meet up with your eyes who were still searching. He smiled when your eyes finally noticed him. – “Hi.” – Peter said shyly with a raised hand. – “Ciao.” – you answered, the Italian accent coming through strong. Peter chuckled. – “Ciao.” – he repeated with a cheeky smile. It made you smile at his attempt to copy your pronunciation. – “I… I uhm I noticed you were kind of looking lost.” – he added looking down at the paper in your hand.

“Was it that obvious?” – you answered nervously. Peter shook his head. – “Not that hard.” – he spoke to make you comfortable. – “I…I don’t understand the number of classes.” – you said showing him the paper. Peter came standing a bit closer to you, to see. – “Ah yes, terrible system we have here.” – he joked. – “May I?” – he asked. You nodded, giving him the paper.

“You see the lay-out may look difficult but once you get to know it, it is actually simple.” – he started. – “I’ll show you.” – you smiled thanking him for his patience and time. – “Where do you need to be?” – he asked. You held up your finger, flipping your backpack to the front. Opening it to search for another paper. You pulled it out, giving it to him. – “Oh Chemistry. You are in luck, that is where I am heading.” – he addressed, giving you the paper back.

He motioned with his head to follow him. – “Italy right?” – he guessed. You nodded with a hum, looking a bit around. – “Quite the change.” – he spoke. You nodded again. – “I am still getting used to the American system.” – you responded. He pointed a way, giving you some direction guidance. – “My parents moved to New York for work.” – you told him while going round a corner.

“The city is still a big maze to me.” – you added. Peter listened with much interest. – “It can be.” – he scratched the back of his head. Biting your lip a bit, you felt pleased and nervous at the same time. Peter pointed at an open door. – “There it is.” – he said stopping in front of the class. – “Thank you.” – you said, standing in front of him as he gave you back your lay-out of the school building.

“My pleasure.” – he replied. – “No truly… if it wasn’t for you I’d still be lost. You were the first person to help me out.” – you said with some sadness. How many people you had attempted to ask but they just ignored you or walked away. Peter smiled. – “Consider us friends then!” – he held his hand out. Your cheeks flushed with heat, looking shy down. You shook his hand, glad to know at least one person now.

“Peter… Peter Parker.” – he told you as you walked into the class. – “Y/n.” – you responded waiting for him to join your side. Peter went over to a seat as you were hesitant to follow. He might be your friend now, but that didn’t meant he wanted to partner up with you in class. – “Y/n!” – Peter called out, patting the seat beside him. You smiled when he called you over.

You came sitting beside him. He leaned on his hand, staring at you. – “Tell me all about Italy. I’m curious.” – he said making you laugh loud. You told him a bit till the teacher entered silencing everyone. Peter came leaning closer to whisper. – “We’ll continue this at lunch.” – focusing his attention to the front. You nodded shyly.

After a few classes, following Peter around it was lunch. He ditched sitting with some other friends of his to sit with you. You told him much about Italy as it fascinated him much. You told him in turn that you like to hear more about New York from him to learn. Peter deflected the question a bit, not answering it. You thought he might not know so much of it. It was possible if he didn’t visit many places or rather not talked about it.

You didn’t ask further, putting it aside. For the entire day guided Peter you around. At the end of the day, you said goodbye to him. Your father waiting for you outside in his car. Peter walked with you up to the car. – “Hi Sir. Have a nice day.” – he greeted your father, lowering himself a bit to look through the window at him. Your father waved smiley back at him. – “See you tomorrow Peter.” – you said opening the door.

Peter nodded holding the door open while you got in. – “Ciao Y/n.” – he said making you laugh. – “Ciao Peter.” – you replied as he shut the door for you. You put your seatbelt on. Your father quirking his eyebrow up. – “What?” – you said trying to hide your giddiness. Your father answered in Italian teasing you a bit with your newly made friend. It made you laugh even harder, replying back in Italian to him.

You were in your room unboxing a few more things. You were with your back towards the window. Jumping out of your skin with a loud squeal when you heard some loud knocks. Turning around you saw Peter on the other end of the window. – “Peter!” – you called out surprised going over to him. You slid the window open. – “What are you doing here?” – you asked looking confused at him.

“You said you didn’t know much of New York yet, I’m here to show you.” – he answered making you take a step back. You blinked confused. –“How… how did you even get up here?” – you asked. – “And how did you even know where I live?” – you questioned. Peter leaned a bit in, smiling cheeky. – “So are you ready to explore the city? I’m going to show you the subways, let you taste hot dogs and poor coffee.” – he said making you laugh loud.

“I can even buy you one of those corny tourist t-shirts with I love NY on it.” – he added making you snort loud. – “I’m serious I’ll buy you one if you want one Y/n.” – he said. You shook your head. Peter extended his hand out to you. – “Will you come along?”

You nodded taking his hand. Peter started pulling you through the window as you moved hesitant back. – “Are you seriously going to let me escape through the window?” – you said. – “Right!” – Peter responded. – “I should let you go through the front door. I’ll wait downstairs.” – he spoke moving back. – “Don’t make me wait too long Y/n.” – he said before making his way down.

You stuck your head out of the window, watching him go with such flexibility it amazed you. Shutting your window, you hurried yourself downstairs letting your parents know you were going to explore the city with a friend. Peter was waiting for you downstairs as he upheld his promise. Showing you all the cool places by subway. The hotdog stands and horrible coffee as you told him you’d make a real Italian coffee for him if he wanted to know how good coffee tasted. He even, despite a lot of protest from you, bought you one of those corny t-shirts.

----------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!  

[djsherriff-responses]

Hi, im really curious? Do you have any Dolph headcanons/ideas/analysis etc? :0 I’m really bad about keeping a consistent idea of a character in my mind, so I’m curious!

First off for tips on keeping a character consistent, I’d recommend rewatching/rereading the source material or at least bits off it.

I personally have a combination of “throwing crap at a wall till it sticks” and “imagine my own stories as tv episodes and replay it over and over again”, while that’s more how I generally write my own characters than specifically fan works, doing that and rewatching clips I find helpful. I also recommend reading up on analysis on the character by other people in the fandom. While some you may strongly disagree with, it’s worthwhile to have different perspectives

Anyways headcanons on Dolph

I used to headcanon Dolph having issues being possessive but after what the manga reveals, I no longer feel that’s in character for Dolph as it goes against what we learn about him

However I do HC that Alex made Dolph believe he was possessive , playing on Dolph’s need for affection and protective nature, and Dolph now struggles with the idea that wanting any affection and reassurance from someone is him being “too much”

Dolph is terrified of getting close to someone and hurting them (this is a combination of Alex self projecting onto Dolph at times and Dolph in the process of the fact he killed Alex and the grief that comes with that)

However I do still think Dolph is a bit of a freak in the bedroom , but now there’s the added fact that whatever he’s into is a by product of some sort of horrible trauma having a weird effect on his brain chemistry and it causing a lot of uncomfortable feelings being discussed

Going off that last point, I think Dolph would be into the idea of getting pregnant/having kids in some way, for the wrong reasons. That sounds out of character unless I explained this one so: I think Dolph has an unhealthy view of himself in that he feels like he has to be “useful” to someone in order for his life to have meaning. Obviously throughout most of his life he was a weapon and then later a boytoy to be discarded. Despite the betrayal , Dolph wanted to die once he got his revenge against Alex, showing that Dolph didn’t see any reason to stay alive if he had no one to be alive for. There’s also the fact he desperately longs for family , particularly parental/mentor figures, so it wouldn’t really shock me if Dolph “I’m gonna settle down at the age of 23 with a man twice my age” Laserhawk had fantasies of starting his own family with Alex ( just imagine that one suicide squad scene were Harley imagines her and the joker as a Suburban family) which goes further into the idea he only values himself if he has value to someone else

……… though realistically Dolph would actually be incredibly freaked out if he did end up having a kid with Alex , despite said fantasies (the difference between fantasy and reality and all that jazz)

I think he should get into gardening. I think it’d be a nice contrast to the intense tech he grew up with and be symbolic of him learning to be independent and free

Dolph does a surprisingly amount of stupid shit , he literally gave himself salmonella on several different occasions just because he wanted to eat cake/cookie mix and didn’t have the patience to bake it

Dolph is competitive with games to the point he’d break a leg just to win bingo

[alexblakeisgay]

Dating App Mishaps (Ch. 8)

Ship: Alex Blake/Reader

Summary: Alex didn't have Tinder by choice...but that doesn't mean it isn't going to come in handy.

Word Count: 1043

"So, how was your date?" Emily asked, emerging from the en-suite bathroom, drying her hair with a towel.

Alex looked up from her laptop where she was busy typing up her case report while the details were still fresh in her mind. "You were thinking about my date in the shower?" she asked, raising a brow in a playfully teasing manner.

Emily rolled her eyes, threw the damp towel at her. "I was thinking about how long it's been since I've gotten laid and I was hoping to at least live vicariously through you..."

She barked out a laugh at that. "A) I didn't need to know you were masturbating in the shower and B) I hate to disappoint, but..." She trailed off, shrugging.

"What!?" Emily exclaimed, dropping onto her bed and staring at Alex with wide, expectant eyes. "Now this I've gotta hear."

"There's nothing to tell," Alex said, shutting her laptop and folding her hands primly on top of it.

Emily scoffed. "Please..." At the ensuing pointed look, she continued, "There's no way there's not a story behind that."

She shrugged again, apparently quite reluctant to give away any more details than she already had.

Patience running out, Emily fixed her with a deliberate stare and threatened, "Your choices are either tell me or I sic Garcia on you and she can suss out the details the hard way... Which is it?"

Alex gave an exasperated sigh. "That's a bit out of proportion, wouldn't you say?"

She made a face that suggested it couldn't have been helped.

"We were having a perfectly lovely time until Hotch and Beth showed up," she recounted with a grim face.

Emily's brows leapt up her forehead. "No way. You're making this up."

"Unfortunately not," she muttered. "For a profiler, he sure missed all the flashing neon signs I was giving him that said Please do not join us!..."

She gave a snort of amusement. "So, they sat with you?"

She nodded. "Oh, but the tale doesn't end there..."

"Oh?" Emily said with all the enthusiasm of a dog perking up their ears at the sound of the treat jar opening.

She nodded once again. "We got halfway through a quickie in the bathroom, when Beth knocked on the door and interrupted," she said dryly.

Emily crowed with laughter. "I've gotta say, Miller...you really do have the worst luck when it comes to hook ups."

"I know," she said, tone and expression bitter.  "I think I might be cursed...  Do you know how long it's been since I've had any kind of relationship that even resembled normal?"

Emily barked out a laugh. "I've given up on 'normal' relationships..." she said wryly.

"Oh?"

Emily fixed her with an expression that seemed to be weighing her trustworthiness. Ultimately, she grinned mischievously. "You're sworn to secrecy, you know that, right?"

Alex nodded solemnly.

"I'm a faithful patron of several cam girls," she confessed. When Alex blinked dumbly a few times in response, Emily rolled her eyes. "Give me that," she said snatching Alex's laptop away from her and opened the lid.

"What are you...?" she started to protest.

Emily typed a few moments, then returned the laptop. "You'll thank me," she said cryptically, then proceeded to put in her earplugs and go to sleep.

Alex glanced at the screen and was instantly elucidated as to what a cam girl was. Just as quickly as the realization set in, she slammed her laptop shut again.

___________

Alex lay awake in bed, tossing and turning for the past hour as she struggled to find sleep. Her sexual frustration was reaching an all-time high and it was getting to the point where it was preventing her from thinking clearly.

She was debating calling you – though she wasn't sure she could handle hearing your voice just then without spontaneously combusting from the desperate need to ravage you – when her phone chimed with a notification, your name flashing across the screen.

Speak of the devil...

She snatched her phone off the nightstand with lightening-quick reflexes, unlocking it with a quick swipe of the thumb.

"I miss you..." the message said.

Alex spent a few moments attempting to decipher what you meant by that.

But before she could arrive at a conclusion, the question was answered for her by the arrival of a picture. A picture featuring your reflection in a floor-length mirror, showcasing your body in a set of Cinderella blue lingerie.

It was followed shortly by another message. "Do you miss me too?"

Alex glanced over at Emily, finding her fast asleep, splayed out like a starfish across the bed...and was silently grateful that she'd decided to wear earplugs. Without pausing to decide whether it was a good idea or not, she proceeded to stab the call button.

When you answered (on the first ring, at that), she purred, "Are you behaving yourself?"

"That depends..." you replied silkily.

"On what?"

You grinned to yourself. "On your definition of good behaviour..."

She hummed a note you couldn't quite decipher. "It sounds to me like you're being a brat..." she replied, her hand drifting beneath the waistband of her pyjamas and into her panties in search of her clit.

"Maybe I am..." you said with a little shrug. "But what are you going to do about it?" You felt emboldened by the distance, safe to tease because there were no immediate consequences.

"It sounds to me like you want Daddy to speak you," she replied. "Is that what you want, Princess? You want me to spank you 'til your ass is red and your cunt is dripping?"

You let out a needy little whine at the words, feeling yourself soaking your panties as you imagined what it might be like to have her bend you over her lap and spank you until you cried and begged for her to fuck you...

"Answer me," she demanded, her breath catching slightly as she rubbed her clit to the mental image. "Be a good girl and I'll finally make you cum the next time I see you..."

[genericpuff]

I just wanna to quick add something about the hole Tori and Persephone situation, I feel Persephone’s arc was meant to be stop being a push over and to fight in order to get respect from others, even if you have to be mean to get set respect.

But…it fails when it comes to the Tori’s reunion scene, as he only spoke for what Hades did to Alex, and it was mostly Hades’ fault she got mistreated by her classmates, despite not minding the photo as it really didn’t even affected her to begin with.

If she was rude as revenge for what people like Minthe, Thethis or Thanatos did to her, it made sense considering what happened in Tower 4 and with Demeter in the trial, but Tori?…. She knew why he was afraid of her, she understood his point of view (yes bad talking someone is wrong and in some cases it can leave to trauma) but she didn’t gave him a chance to apologize after Alex got his eye back or to talk to him once she became the Queen of the Underworld and make peace with her.

I mean, if this was how the pilot people treated her in her school then the story would be different, there her bullying was implied to be nastier than what we got on Webtoon, in the woman’s bathroom it was written "Persephone goddess of the sluts”.

Even compared to everything she experienced in the past, considering the Village incident it just weird why she doesn’t choice to move on with Tori, and say to herself, yes he was a jackass to me but I see where he was coming from, Hades fuck off that time and it’s fine I’m now Queen he can thing whatever the hell he wants, it won’t affect me anymore.

That's an interesting take, I've also seen people claim that it was due to her still being "shook" from seeing the Apollo poster.

But neither of those are ever an excuse to abuse people.

I'd be fine if this was meant to be some point of character development for Persephone, like if maybe Daphne called her out on it like "hey, pal, are you okay? You kinda went overboard there" or something. Or if maybe it went the other way and Persephone was meant to be the villain in her own story.

But we don't get that.

Instead, we get a scene that obviously implies Persephone is now rich due to the account Hades has opened for her, so she's essentially been rewarded for doing absolutely nothing - compared to Tori, who's been indirectly affected by Persephone's actions (through Alex) and now works in an industry that's RUN by Hades (the banks) and is being harassed by his 'future wife'. She didn't 'fight back' here, she deliberately punched down on someone who's now in a lower position of power than her and she knows it.

She's hypocritically emulating the exact same behavior she chastised Hades for back in S1.

So to break it all down, instead of getting an empowering 'revenge' scene like in Pretty Woman where a woman of lower social status fights back against the system that rejected her, we get Persephone, in a much higher position of power than Tori, using her influence to be a dick towards him, and then pretty much gets rewarded for it in the scene afterwards where she gets a shitload of money, buys an apartment, and eats Chinese takeout with Hades. What a picture perfect happy ending we have here 😒

I agree also when it comes to the pilot content, there was SO MUCH MORE done to show how Persephone's life was being affected by the tabloid.

But in the Originals version, a couple people gossip/refuse to be friends with her (for GOOD REASON BECAUSE ONE OF THEM HAS ALREADY BEEN SERIOUSLY HARMED BY THE KING OF THE UNDERWORLD ON HER BEHALF) and that's about it. She also waves it off super casually in front of Hades.

So why is she still so fucking salty about it 10 years later? ESPECIALLY after all that she's been through, this is the hill she chooses to die on?

Honestly, I agree with Hades here.

Where is her sense of wrath? Why does RS keep flip flopping between Persephone being a 'soft' valley girl with limitless patience and empathy vs. Persephone being a wrathful goddess who's willing to throw hands with anyone? And why is it her dumbass beef with Tori that brings out the latter? There's just a complete lack of consistency in her character or commitment to her being one or the other, so it means when we do see Persephone acting 'wrathful', it 1.) comes out of nowhere, and 2.) is being used for shit that isn't even worth being a dick over, like harassing a bank worker. Persephone isn't being 'wrathful', she's acting petty and childish.

And it's so obvious that if this was intended to be a moment of weakness for Persephone, it HASN'T come across that way at ALL to the main readerbase. I seriously can't even go into the comment sections on those episodes because all I see are people rooting for Persephone, saying how Tori "deserved" what he got, how Persephone is such a "boss" for doing what she did. While I do blame the readers for being so horrible in this regard, I also blame Rachel for clearly not defining her intentions with that scene - which leads me to believe that that WAS the intention, to make Persephone look like a 'badass' through abusing an employee that she went to school with for a couple weeks once ten years ago. Rachel hasn't done any work to show the contrary, so that's what we've been left with.

The good news is, we don't even have to speculate on that much. RS answered that question herself outside of the comic in the official FastPass FB group.

There you have it. In which Rachel displays the fullest extent of her empathy and emotional maturity - absolute cringe.

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Chapter Thirty-Three

Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Y/N Burgess is the granddaughter of Alex and Paul, and after having spent so many summers at their manor and always wondering why she was forbidden from entering the basement, she descends the steps into the world of the Order. She broke out the being that had been trapped in that glass cage, but what does he want with her now that he is free?

Warnings: Language, Corinthian Tries to Flirt w/ Reader, Reader Ain’t Havin’ It (But Finds It Amusing).

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x Female!GranddaughterReader, based on Netflix’s ‘The Sandman’, Reader now has long-ish hair for plot reasons (Just so Morpheus can tug on it later).

Word Count: ~2.1k

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“I’m not gonna hurt you,”

“You just killed that man.”

“I just saved your life, again.”

“From who?”

“From Morpheus.”

“Enough!” You snapped out from where you had been pacing in front of the couch in the Junior Suite. You pointed at the Corinthian and gave him a dirty look. “Stop twisting your words.”

Those round sunglasses turned to you and that sly smile was back.

“Come now, your majesty, even you know what he plans.” You held up a hand and waved it in warning.

“He keeps calling you that, are you a queen?” Jed asked, looking between you and the Corinthian. You clenched my teeth.

“This… exquisitely beautiful lady here, Jed, is the queen of the Dreaming.” The Corinthian spoke all too gleefully. You felt Rose’s gaze burn into the side of your head, but refused to break your stare from the Corinthian’s glasses.

“Jed, would you kindly give us a moment to talk?” You asked, keeping your gaze set. You could feel Jed’s hesitation, but thankfully he agreed.

“Yeah, okay, um, your majesty.” You sighed, now Jed was going to call you that too? You chewed your lip until the young boy was in the bedroom of the suite.

“You’re the queen!?” Rose blurted out the moment you had privacy. Your eyes closed and you took a deep breath.

“Technically speaking, if you so wish.” You responded, looking at the flabbergasted girl. “I did tell you our relationship is complicated Rose. I’ve been the queen of the Dreaming for three months and I didn’t even know it until a week ago when the librarian told me. Do not misunderstand my relationship with Morpheus, Rose, this isn’t something I chose.”

“So what, you’re his prisoner?” Rose snorted out waving a hand. “And how do you know him.” She then gestured to the Corinthian.

“I don’t,” You answered, giving the Corinthian a look. “Another technicality if you will, but he is the last missing arcana from the Dreaming. May I introduce you to the Corinthian, a Nightmare. As for your previous statement, I had no choice in my ties to Morpheus, but you can say I got off easy after what my family did to him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“My great-grandfather, Roderick Burgess, is the man responsible for trapping Morpheus for over one hundred years.” You explained softly, ignoring the way the Corinthian seemed to enjoy this. “He wanted to resurrect one of his sons, he summoned Dream rather than Death, and refused to let him go until Morpheus gave him what he wanted. Morpheus being stubborn, refused. One spell later and an Endless was bound to the Burgess lineage. Morpheus got to choose which Burgess and had plenty of patience is seems. Long story short, I was the one he picked.”

“So that means…” Rose looked like she was still having a hard time understanding what you meant. the Corinthian finished for you.

“Y/N here, has had her fate sealed with Morpheus’. She’ll live as long as he will and for lack of a more technical term, they’re now soulmates.” The Corinthian said all too gleefully.

You couldn’t help the disgusted snort that passed though your lips as you crossed your arms in irritation.

“We are what they called Bonded. We are attracted to each other and will be until Morpheus is killed or dies. That doesn’t mean he treats me like a queen, or that he likes having me around. All I appear to be as of late is a burden and stubborn human whom he annoyingly cannot control.”

“Ah yes, I’d love to see him stew in place when you tell him no.” The Corinthian chuckled, rubbing his hands together. “Bet he’s never had to deal with that before.”

“You aren’t helping so do shut up.” You snapped at him. You turned back to address Rose. “Look, Rose, a vortex to the Dreaming is a threat because you have the capability to completely destroy it. Do you understand that? When you fall asleep, you could destroy my new home. Morpheus has destroyed previous vortexes to protect the Dreaming, this isn’t anything against you. It never was.”

“I don’t want to destroy the Dreaming, I never would.” Rose protested, you couldn’t help but give her an apologetic shrug. It didn’t matter what her intentions were, a vortex was not something that could be controlled. She couldn’t control it. She had already messed with the Dreaming’s scales by making Lyta’s dream of becoming a mother by her dead husband, true. Who knew what kind of trouble she would dream up if her power was left unchecked.

“I’m sorry, but your power isn’t something that you’ll be able to consciously control.” You said, shaking your head slightly.

“So you’re gonna let him kill me then?” You let out an eloquent snort and raised your eyebrow in slight insult.

“My darling Rose, what do you think I am doing here?” 

It had taken some convincing, and a little discussion between Rose and the Corinthian, before she agreed to what the Nightmare had told her. He would be back in an hour, she and Jed were free to leave if they so desired during that time, and if he got back and they were still there? They would talk. Rose had looked at you and you had given the Corinthian one stern look, rather then return her gaze.

“I will be having a conversation with Corinthian, I believe it is long overdue.” You stated flatly, yet with a little malice. “Now come along.”

“Yes, your majesty,” The Corinthian replied as you strode for the door, him following shortly behind. You snapped up a finger.

“Don’t start with me!” You scolded. He chuckled while following you through the door and closing it behind him. You heard the lock click and looked around at the many doors of the hotel. “We do need to talk, preferably in private.”

The Corinthian held up another key.

“I’ve got just the room.” He grinned. You had a feeling it was from the recently deceased Fun Land. You cared little for the life of a serial killer who liked to prey on children. Following the Corinthian down the hall, you entered the hotel room of Fun Land. You carefully took your time walking around the scant living room and maintained distance. “In all honesty, you are not what I expected but everything he would go for. You do have the strong personality type though, he was always a sucker for woman in power.”

Your eyes flickered up to his with an unimpressed look, you knew what he was trying to do and wouldn’t play into his game. Pressing your lips together, you leaned back against the small kitchenette in the room and regarded the Nightmare.

“What are you doing?” You flat out questioned him, not referring to the game, but what he was doing with Rose Walker. “Granted I can understand why you would give Roderick the keys to trapping Morpheus of all Endless, but why do it in the first place?”

“Certain you don’t need little ol’ me to explain that one to you,” The Corinthian chuckled, pushing his round sunglasses up his nose. “You think I get any freedom under his thumb?”

“It’s not about freedom, Corinthian.” You returned, looking him over with a softer gaze this time. “I know what it is like to live with him in your head, but what would drive you to trapping your creator for that long?”

“Spite? The desire for freedom? Despite what you may think of me, my lady, I actually like humans, I want to understand them, feel like them. Unfortunately for me, the only way to do so is a little crude for most peoples tastes.”

“You steal their eyes, you kill them,” You pointed out. He shrugged.

“Eyes are the window of your soul, they see everything, I get the most life from them.” You couldn’t decide if it was poor design or simply that he was a Nightmare. Either way, you could feel for his want to feel humanity.

“Still wrong,” He cocked his head to the side, his smile growing.

“Perhaps. Why’d you run?”

“I’m not running,” You retorted defensively, digging your fingernails into your crossed arms. His eyebrow rose at you.

“Sure you aren’t, why else would you be helping the girl who can destroy the Dreaming. You’re Bonded to him, how much is it hurting to keep him shut out right now? What did he do to push you so far away, that you are willingly helping the one thing that poses a threat to yourself?” You felt called out, but had to admit that the Corinthian wasn’t entirely wrong.

“Morpheus doesn’t treat me like I am his equal, or that I am capable of taking care of myself.” You finally said. The Corinthian shrugged. “He doesn’t want to acknowledge that I am not just another one of his subjects he can order around and expect to be obedient.”

“He’s lost lovers before, Y/N, he’s not gonna change just because you can tap into his power. Why do you think he’s so obsessive with protecting you? Feels like your in a cage, or on a leash. You can’t stray too far for he’ll yank you back.”

“Or push you away,” You countered while your eyebrow arched. “Trust me when I say I’ve felt it all.”  Uncrossing your arms, you pushed away from the kitchenette and stepped forwards, your eyes looking closer at his round sunglasses. He never took them off.

“I can feel your curiosity,”

“Then you know what I want to see.” You softly said, slowly walking over to him. He didn’t stop your approach, but raised his own eyebrow when you stopped in front of him and didn’t reach for this sunglasses.

“Well?” He goaded.

“I’m not going to remove them if you don’t want me to, Corinthian. I know boundaries and I was raised to have manners.” You replied quietly, your eyes following the stitching along his blazer. “I’ve dealt with many things I can’t control as of late, I’m not going to take choice away from you.”

“I can already tell he doesn’t deserve you.” The Corinthian mused quietly before reaching for your wrists and pulling the up so your fingers brushed against his black sunglasses. Fingers brushing against the metal and plastic, you slipped your fingers beneath the sunglasses and started pulling. What you saw beneath them shocked you, but you didn’t start gaping. Morpheus had been quite creative when designing this version of the Corinthian. “Well?” He asked, his eyebrows going up.

“I didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t this,” You spoke while brushing your fingers across his temple, looking at the two mouths the were in place of the Corinthian’s eyes. “Creatively beautiful, I should have known.”

The Corinthian smirked down at you.

“You don’t have to stay with him in that gilded cage, don’t have to put up with him.” The Corinthian said softly, his fingers running up the wrist of the hand you had touching his face. Fingers brushed across your palm as they wound their way through yours. “Not when he is hurting you like this.” You knew what he was doing and that was very dangerous waters. Not just for him.

“You’re dancing with fire, Corinthian,” You replied, giving him a knowing look. “All the while dousing yourself with petrol, do you not realize what kind of game you are trying to play?”

“Oh I understand it perfectly darlin’,” The Corinthian answered, his figure leaning closer to yours. You could feel the hum from his body, from his lips. He really had little care for what his actions would bring if Morpheus caught him this close to you. “But I don’t think he’ll take care of you the way you deserve. He’s already hurt you, pushed you away, why would he do that to you of all people? Surely you can see that, you deserve so much better then him.”

“I’m the one that get’s to make the final decision.” Your reminder only made him chuckle, which you could feel on your lips. “I’ve already had to deal with Desire trying to poke the sleeping bear, I don’t need you adding to that turmoil, no matter how handsome you are.” You slipped your hand from his and took a few steps backwards to get out of his space. “What do you want from Rose?”

“What? Clever little thing like you haven’t figured it out yet?” He taunted with a small laugh. Your eyes narrowed at him, done with his off handed flirting and attempts at making this into a game between you. “You got me, your majesty, I want Rose Walker to bring the Dreaming to it’s knees once and for all. Only she can.”

“You want to destroy our home,” You whispered out as your face paled. The Corinthian’s lips twisted into a jagged smile. What he wanted felt nearly as bad as when Desire had kissed you, but destroying the Dreaming was far, far worse.

Date Published: 12/5/22

Last Edit: 8/20/23

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[foxilayde]

Sansana Part 2/2 [Poe Dameron x Fem!Reader]

Summary: Did Poe make the cut? Will he get his way? Deets below.

Word Count: 8.2k

Warnings: I'm just going to say non-con because of spice usage and possible "coercion". It's not dark tho, Poe is Poe. He can't be anything but sweet. Also, pussy eating and intimacy.

A/N: my deepest apologies to Alex @blackberries45 who has been WAITING for the conclusion with angelic patience. Happy Birthday, lovely.

Well you’ll be dammned, to your apparent incredulity, Dameron is fluent in Hutesse. He’s so fluent, in fact, that he manages to make the fucking Daimyo of Tattooine laugh at his joke about the two imperial guards on Hoth… at least you think that’s what the joke was about. The booming chuckle from the Daimyo had your jaw on the floor. Yeah, Poe…. He’s as smooth as bantha leather. Across tongues, across cultures, his suavity is a thing that transcends barriers. 

All you were able to choke out was a hurried “your majesty” upon arrival at the throne, praying to the maker that you didn’t misspeak and cause irreparable damage. It seemed to be good enough as the Daimyo didn’t give you a second look as soon as Poe started talking. 

The palace wasn’t crowded either. Thank the maker. If it had been crowded, you wouldn’t have been as composed when Poe gripped your hand and kissed your knuckles at one point during a few awkward sounding phrases on Poe’s end. The twi’lek woman who was sitting on the Daimyo’s lap (if that section of his body could be referred to as a ‘lap’?) said something to Poe which you figured was the impetus for his nervous laugh and grip your hand, stepping closer to you and using the press of his lips against your fist to beg you quietly to “play along, please”. You gave another moment of deliberation before allowing him to put his arm around you. 

He charmed his way through the interaction and when the conversation reached a tone of concession and agreement, Poe was given a fist sized glass of a bright red swirling drink, he winked and you and clinked his glass, cheersing spice water with the Daimyo. Poe drank the whole thing down and, following the Daimyo’s lead, smashed his cup on the duracrete floor. Poe bowed one last time before the throne, motioning you to follow, which you did with substantially less grace than your counterpart. 

The transaction went smoother than you expected. 

Poe is twitching now as you walk back to the ship and it almost looks like he’s trying to swallow his tongue or something while he blinks at twice his normal speed. Sansana. 

The main use for Sansana, why it’s so expensive— it’s an adaptogen, its healing and almost intuitive properties are what make it the active ingredient in Bacta. Of course, Bacta can’t get you high, it has such a small amount of Sansana, combined with many other calming and restorative elements. But it becomes what your body needs it to be. When you take a shot of bacta, it heals the injury anywhere in your body. When you take Sansana straight, It can key you up, it can slow you down, and it’s different for everyone. And maker, it’s got Poe wound up. 

Poe is hefting the pouch of credits in his palm, playing around with the bag in his twitching fingers. You don’t ask him any of your questions on the way to the ship, you think that maybe he wants you to, wants you to ask if he managed to get the 80%, he’s practically goading your right now, tossing the bag between his gloved hands, but you’re not an idiot, the last thing on your agenda is to have a little chat about how many untraced credits you have in your possession while walking through the seamy spaceport of an outer-rim planet. 

“Put that shit in your pocket, Dameron.”

Poe clutches the bag tightly and eyes you with a glassy stare before shoving the bag into the back pocket of his trousers. The lump it makes against his already curvy backside makes you snort, and you wait till you’re both safely onboard the ship to say anything else. Once the hull is airlocked, you breathe deeply again for the first time since you left the ship. 

“Fuck, this stuff is fucking good, Lex. Never had spice like this, on the maker. You’re going to have to fly, I think I’m fucking seeing shit— rainbows in the corners of my eyes. Nav us to Oba Diah, I’m going to get some juice or water or something do you want something? I need some cold water, you know? Real cold. Shit. Fuck, I kinda want to stay here, go dancing a little or something. The suns are going down. We could stay. For a bit. I bet it’ll feel better once the suns set and we can go hear some music…”

But you’re not listening to him, you’ve been around enough spice heads to tune out their high ramblings and as soon as Dameron asked you to fly? Well you know he’s off his fucking head, and far more responsible than you might have given him credit for considering his state. You’re setting the nav and engaging the lifters when you remember Poe is still pacing around the hull.

“Poe, sit down, we’re taking off.”

“Oh shit is everything okay?”

“Yeah, spice boy. Just buckle up. I’ll get you some water when we’re in hyper.”

Poe sits down and buckles the co-pilot seat, closes his eyes and moans, “fuck I’d love some ice cold water.” 

“Yeah I heard you.” You mumble as you increase inversal velocity, lifting high enough out of the desert planet’s relatively thin atmosphere and just enough away to reach the hyperspace highway. In no time at all you’re in the swirling blue worm hole, like an ant on a string, out of time. Poe’s eyes go wide staring out the port windows. 

“Wow,” he whispers, “that is fucking beautiful.”

His declaration makes you pause for a moment and observe. It just looks like hyperspace to you. White and blue and black and in the same boring swirl as it always is. Beautiful? Beauty implies rarity. This? This is your constant backdrop. He’s high alright. His nose is nearly touching the transparisteel, eyes wide in wonder when you sigh and unbuckle yourself.

“You coming?” You cross to the port door and make your way to the kitchenette. “Or do you want me to play service droid and bring the water to you on a tray?” 

Poe shakes his head and snaps out of his hypnotic gaze. “Coming!” He says enthusiastically, struggling with the harness and nearly tripping over his own boots on his way out of the pit. He stands behind you as you fill up a mug with cold water from the potable valve and he, without touching you, sniffs your neck, hands hovering over your hips. “Mmmm, you smell fucking amazing. Like five blossom bread, mmmm.” His nose grazes your hair feather-light and you shove down the smile that tugs at the corner of your mouth as you turn and hand him the icy beverage. 

“Thank you” his voice is a gritty whisper and his eyes, pupils big as saucers, lock with yours. The corners of his eyes tighten beautifully and he looks on the verge of a laugh. 

You cross your arms over your chest and lean back against the kitchenette counter. “What?”

“Nothing,” he teases. But he drags out the word like a lead— like there is something, a private joke he’s only happy to keep concealed from you.

“You gonna drink it or make friends with it?” You tilt your chin to the mug and he snorts out a laugh before taking a big gulp of water and moaning obscenely. 

“Ohhh, that’s good… Feels fucking hot in here.” He finishes the rest of his water and slams the mug onto the counter behind you, the reach places his hand behind your back and he nearly nudges his nose with yours as he gulps the remaining liquid, licking his lips. 

“You gonna ask me or what?” He grins, eyes sweetly narrowed onto yours.

“What?” 

“If I got us the cut.” His teeth peek out of his jubilant face, his voice an ushering cadence.

You clench your fists in the crooks of your elbows and maker, you wish he didn’t look so fucking cocky right now. You know the answer, before he even says it, his eyes give him away. Because there’s no way Poe Dameron would say something so leading if he failed to follow through. A shivering cowering part of you hopes he didn’t manage the 80%, that he has nothing to hold you to, but you can tell from the cocky grin that he had gotten the 80. Maybe even more. 

Poe reaches into the back pocket of his canvas pants and he dangles the clinking pouch of credits in front of your face.

“Don’t take my word for it. Count it yourself.”

You roll your eyes and snatch the pouch. You push lightly on his chest and he steps back without hesitation. You’ll need a wide surface to count it out so you head to your small sleeping quarters and dump the pouch on your lower bunk. Holy shit. The denominations are all in blue 100’s. Holy. Shit. You can eyeball that it’s at least an 80% cut and you crouch down to separate them into stacks of ten. Poe leans on the connective railing of your bunks and smirks with an annoying knowing-smile as he removes his leather gloves and tosses them on his top bunk. 

It doesn’t take long at all for you to count it out and— Maker. He got you a 90% cut. 90 fucking percent. Your hands skitter around the chips once more to verify and you shake your head.

“How. Literally how did you pull this off?”

“Your Huteese is really that garbage, huh?”

“Just tell me.”

Poe crouches next to you and picks up a blue 100 cred, turning it around in his bare dexterous fingers. “You remember when I kissed your hand?’

“Yeah, what was that about?” 

Poe tosses the credit back onto the bed where it clinks on the pile and laughs. “The Daimyo’s little girlfriend, you remember? Well,” Poe laughs and drags his hand down his face, “She asked the Daimyo if she could ‘keep me as a pet’” He slouches down with his back to the bunk and giggles hysterically. “So I had to tell her I was already taken” He places a hand on your knee and you can feel the warmth of his palm through your leggings. “Hope you don’t mind. I thought you were going to clock me. You should have seen your face, Lex!” He shudders with laughter once more and you push his shoulder.

“I should have let her!” You laugh yourself and relax on the floor next to Dameron. “You’d look cute in a little collar in the Daimyo’s palace, the pet of a pet.”

Poe has tears of mirth in the corner of his eyes, trying to catch his breath now.

“Her exact words, if the translation holds up, is ‘Master, I want the hairy one to play with’ “ Dameron is dissolving into effervescent fits of giggles and you can’t help but laugh yourself. 

“I’m glad she didn’t get her way, “ you admit quietly. 

“Yeah?” Poe sobers up slightly and tests the water with his fingertips on yours, sliding his digits slowly between your own and twines your fingers together. You stare at your joined hands.

“Yeah,” you nod your head, stroking his thumb with your own, “would’ve been real tough to explain to Oba Diah why you didn’t come back for the report and the next assignment.”

“Is that all?” He inquires softly. You look at Poe and you can tell he’s trying to look at you earnestly, but his jaw ticks and grits from side to side. Maybe he wont remember a thing of this tomorrow. Maybe you can convince him anything you say tonight was a machination of his high state.

“I’d visit you. On Tatooine. Bring you treats.” You say softly, trying with all your might to imbue a sense of levity to the sentiment. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Would you scratch me behind my ears?”

“Don’t push it, Dameron.”

You both breathe out a half hearted laugh before a heavy silence falls between you and the buzzing of the fluorescents is growing louder and deafeningly louder in your ears while you continue to stroke each other’s thumbs. Poe breaks the silence.

“You…. Don’t have to, you know. If you don’t want.”

You know what he’s referring to. To the Sansana. To eating you out. You always knew he wouldn’t make you do it. Either of it. Any of it. The way he jumps back when you use your fingertips to push him away, as if you’re using the fabled force… He would never press you. Not even stoned.

“I know.” Maker, your voice sounds so small.

“I don’t want to make you think you have to, Lex I just—“

And you kiss him. Stars, you break the light hold on his hand and bring it up to his stubbled face and you kiss him. He tastes like cinnamon and sunwater. Your eyes are clamped tightly shut and you breathe raggedly into his mouth. You’ve never kissed him in the light like this, so it’s strange as hell when your eyes open slightly during the kiss and you can register the sharp plane of his strong stubbly jaw and the way he scoots closer to you. Despite the effects of the spice, he doesn’t seem to be overly eager or pressing, letting you lead him with your lips and tongue. 

You break the kiss, “go get it.”

“What?” His fingertips are lightly grazing your shoulders as he answers you drunkenly.

“The Sansana. Go get it.” You lick your lips and Poe shoots up, unsure of where to direct his body despite the one singular entrance to your quarters, he turns hither and thither before shooting out of the tiny barrack and you’re left alone momentarily. Just you and the hefty weight of credits littering the bed of your bottom bunk. You bite your lip before toeing off your boots, removing your blaster holster, and pausing momentarily before you unbutton your top, shrugging it off your shoulders and letting it lie on the bright floor. 

Poe is back as you’re unbuttoning your pants. He lingers at the doorway, spice pouch in his hand as you lay atop the dirty credits and scoot your trousers down your legs. His jaw drops, as does his hand with the pouch. He leans against the frame, booted legs crossed with a heavy stare.

“Stars, you look… stars.”

You kick your trousers down your legs and leave them crumpled at the foot of your tiny bunk. Nearly all your coverings are gone now, fingers twiddling at your bare abdomen while you take in Poe’s slack jawed stare. He isn’t moving, isn’t saying anything at all, a far cry from the twitching man who bolted out the door not 30 seconds ago, and you wish he’d just come over, crawl into your bunk the way you’ve done for him; so you could put your focus on his body instead of being self-conscious and hyper-aware of every inch of your own exposed skin. 

“Which… what did you want to do first?” He approaches you carefully and lowers himself to a crouch near your knees, taking your hand in his warm one, just like earlier, just like so many times earlier; stroking your thumb and sweeping his eyes in awe over your body. He’s wearing the same expression he had when looking out at hyperspace. Something he’s beheld many times, just with new eyes. But that’s not true, is it? He’s never  before seen you with any eyes— old or new. 

He’s asking if you want to do the Sansana first or get your pussy eaten first and you honestly don’t know. Both new terrain, one a world of wet and warm, the other a powdery dryness. 

You squeeze his hand a little in a jolt of nerves. 

“I— I don’t know? What… what do you recommend?” You take a deep breath and swallow when he brings his other hand down to your knees and tries to wedge his hand between them so so gently like a warm spoon into hard ice-cream. 

“You’re shaking.” He’s staring at his hands, at your belly, and at your wide, worried eyes. “Lex, I’m not going to make you do—“

“Maker, Dameron!” You pull your hand out of his and use the ball of your foot to push his chest away from your bunk. He stumbles back onto his ass and recovers back to a seated position when you swing your legs down to the floor and sit up on your bunk, propping your elbows on your thighs and holding your face in your palms. 

This is wrong, this is all wrong, why did you agree to this, this is foreign territory, enemy grounds, exposed on all sides. You’re ass bone is pressing weirdly on something uncomfortable under neath you and with great agitation your reach under you to find a dirty blue credit. You fling it against the durasteel of the wall and the ting of it rings out loud and resonant in the cramped quarters. You growl in frustration and clutch your hair in your palms. Even if it rolled and slipped in a vent shaft it wouldn’t matter. Stupid fucking Dameron and his smooth as shit huttesse speaking ass talked you into a veritable spice-runner’s fortune. 

Poe scoots himself so he’s crosslegged at your feet. He’s not touching you, but his canvas clad legs are near enough that your cold toes can feel the radiating heat of his shins. Maker why does he always have to be so warm? Why does he make you crave him like this? And not just you either. Apparently he’s so fucking desirable even total strangers wanna lock him up and keep them for themselves. Maker what are you even doing here? In your chest-band and your panties, having literally kicked Dameron away from you when all you really want, all you have ever really wanted is for him to be closer— for him to tear your old, tired, used shields away and to become your new defense, your new barrier against all the bitter galaxy, to hold you and never let go. And here you are, having forced him into tricks and barters for something that you should have given freely, accepted freely. Not a one-way exchange but a loop of constant feedback, you wish you could give him something he deserves. But you can’t, because you’re all he has. You’re all he’ll have to settle for out here, in between states of being, in between jobs, in between time and space.

God it must be so fucking boring for him to be here with you. This competent adventurer who could be traipsing any fucking where he desires, and he’s stuck here, grinding his teeth, spice-high, seated at the feet of a woman who can’t do anything but take and fucking take from his giving nature. 

“You should do the Sansana first, if you want. It’ll calm you down.”

You lift your face out of your palms, dragging your fingers down your cheeks and he’s shaking the bag in your face, just like he did with the credits. But it’s not goading this time. It’s an offer, an extended hand during a jazzy song on a sparsely-crowded cantina dance-floor. 

You bite your bottom lip and nod, “Okay.” You furrow your brow, unsure how to partake, you’ve seen runners to rails of spice but you’re not confident you wouldn’t choke or sneeze your way though that. “How do I—“

But Poe is undoing the pouch and licking a finger, shoving it into the pouch and wiggling it around with a wink. He carefully sets the Sansana down on the floor with the mouth of the pouch open like a bowl. 

“I’m gunna rub it in your gums, if that’s okay?” The tip of his index finger is coated in the blood-red dust and you nod. “Open up.”

You part your mouth and relax your lips, letting him slip the digit into your mouth and slide it up between your teeth and upper lip, brushing it to the sides of your mouth, as high up your gums as your lips will allow. You swallow open mouthed, drool pooling under your tongue while you hold your mouth as still as possible. It tastes like cinnamon and something sharp…ginger maybe, exactly as it smells. Poe twists his finger around, trying to transfer as much of it to your gums as possible. He extracts his finger gently, hands shaking slightly and he examines his it, clean and wet. He dunks it into the bowl of the pouch once more and does the same to himself, pushing his finger up and back and forth quickly like he’s brushing his teeth with the illicit stuff. You lick up into the pockets of your mouth where he deposited the spice and swirl your lips against your gums, it all feels totally numb and you have the insane urge to giggle about it. You let out a giggle and clap your hands over your mouth, causing Poe to smile around his finger before he releases it with a pop. 

“Works pretty fast, huh?” He licks the inside of his mouth and shivers with a slight tremor, putting his spit-slicked hand on your knee and giving it a gentle squeeze. It feels nice, your eyes lose focus a little and you test the numbness of your lips again by licking them, the thick barely-there sensation making you chuckle fully and lean back on your hands, opening up your mostly nude torso to the room. 

“Feels good.” You nod drunkenly.

“The Sansana or my hand?” He squeezes your knee with a bit more pressure and you hum.

“Both… both…. Both hands…” You trail off, your unfocused eyes flicking to his unoccupied hand and then to his face— eyes still blown wide from the Spice. Maker, his eyes are so big and lovely. 

He brings his other warm hand to your cold knee and rubs soothing circles with his thumbs at the bottom of your inner thigh muscles, maker, how is he always so warm?

“Good?”

“Mmmmhmm. So good.” You lean back on your elbows now and Poe scoots closer to you, uncareful about the way his legs press against your own. His eyes are hungry and you can feel the way his lips are vibrating with intoxication when he presses his warm mouth to your knee, and despite the way his his muscles twitch for more, the way they do sometimes when you’re in the heat of an evasion and he’s at the helm, the kisses he places on your knee are so fucking slow and tender, full mouth sticking sweetly to your skin as if he’s been longing to kiss the curve of this exact part of your leg for his whole life. 

His palms caress the outsides of your thighs while his stubbly mouth travels with even, reverent presses up the inner parts, alternating respectfully from one side to the other. Once he gets halfway up, your serenity subsides and you clench your legs reflexively in defense of his wandering mouth. He sighs shakily and lifts his head from the valley of your legs.

“You need more.”

You’re not sure what he means. More kisses? You wouldn’t be opposed to that, but he’s off you in a flash, licking his finger once more and sticking it in the bag. He rises to his knees, in between your legs, and leans over you. You hadn’t realized that you’re laying nearly all the way down now when he   encourages you to open your mouth and let his red coated finger swirl inside the cavern of your mouth. You grip his hand with one of your own and bring his finger to the middle of your mouth, wrapping your tongue around his calloused digit. His blaster finger, thick and warm and holding perfectly still in the recesses of your mouth while you suck and suck onto it like candy. He feels so good between your legs like this, hovering over you like this. His finger rubs against your tongue a little and he groans and grinds his teeth.

“Lex… fuck, baby.”

You pull his fingers out of your mouth. "Wanna suck you, Dameron. Will you lay down and let me suck you?” You surge up to push him down on his back but he catches your wrists and he smooths his hands up your arms. 

“No.”

You bite your bottom lip and try to give him the most alluring expression you can muster. Fuck he’s so pretty and warm and you see what he meant about the rainbows in the corner of his vision. The light particles emanating off of him radiate with an other-worldly glow. He looks divine like this. Your body feels slightly floaty and you might be achieving a warmth on the scale of even Poe Dameron your skin feels flushed. 

“Why not?”

“Because that wasn’t our bargain.” His hands are raking up and down the sides of your torso now and he leans down to kiss your belly, you shiver and gasp at the softness of his lips, the rough of his stubble.  

“So what? I don’t care.” Your hands bury themselves with and mind of their own into his curly locks, nails scraping his scalp gently. He moans against your stomach between soft sticky stubbly kisses. 

He swats your hip gently and the action is surprising. “You get us an 80 on the next deal and then we can talk, but for now,” a rough hand travels up your sternum and presses your sternum down, urging your back fully flat on your matress, “I won the deal, so I get to claim my prize.” He hooks his fingers into the band of your panties and pulls them down your knees with no trouble. He picks your legs up from the floor and hooks the bend of both knees over one shoulder, fisting the panties and dragging them off your legs. 

You gasp and cover your eyes with your hands, Poe kisses the side of your calf and rubs a strong rough hand down the smooth soft fleet of your bare thigh and bottom. “Look at me, Lex.” He grits out, when your don’t comply he nips your calf with his impossibly cute teeth. You shriek but don’t obey and you think he says “suit yourself”. 

Poe drops your legs back down and it’s only a spare moment before he’s kneeling above you, depositing spice straight from the bag onto your exposed abdomen. He trickles out the fine dark powder and uses his fingers to make a line of it on you. Maker, everything is so warm; your skin, his skin, the dusting of spice is practically vibrating as it settles onto your shuddering stomach in an imperfect rail. Poe sits next to your naked thigh and braces one arm next to your chest, he leans down to your abdomen and closes up one nostril with a finger. He sniffs loudly from your belly button to your solar plexus in practiced form. His mouth opens slackly in a satisfied groan, he lifts his face his curls bounce with rainbow edges in your vision when he shakes his head to unrattle his brain. 

“Fuuuck, Lex!” He kisses your abdomen with tongue, licking up the blood red dust, you whimper as he makes his way, down down down to your belly button, down to your mound and your thatch of hair. 

Dameron’s right. You needed that extra hit of spice. Your heartbeat is slower than it should be and you’re a little floaty. The adaptogen. Whatever it is that is riling him up is tying you down. You weakly cover up your sex with a cupped hand, sliding it between his hot lips and your exposed center, but he grips your hand and pins it to your side with a growl, burying his face in your curls, kissing from the top of your slit to the peak of your hip bone and back again. Your knees are clamped shut but he more the kisses you down there, hungrily mouthing every bit of your bare lower half that he can reach, the weaker that tension between your knees becomes, until your hips are rolling open, feet shifting from flexing pointed toes on the floor to flat and lazy— thighs open like a book. 

And Poe must see the change in posture because he lets your wrist go, choosing instead to use his hands to run hot strokes up and down the sides of your form. He slips from the mattress to the floor and kneels between your weak knees— hands running up the sides of your calves, over the tops of your thighs, up to your breasts, grazing his fingertips along your ribcage, he pushes your chestband up, tongue in your belly button. And you, with very heavy bones, lift it over your head, allowing him to let his fingers graze your peaked nipples and tickle lightly down your obliques, over your hips, down the tops of your thighs to your knees, tickling your shins, grazing the tops of your feet, and back up the sides of your calves again. He runs the circuit too many times to count, getting his hands on every bit of exposed skin, firing you up with tingles of electricity so powerful you swear you can see the electric charge between the skin of your ribcage and the pads of his fingers, literal sparks between you when his hands friction down your abdomen, he blazes a trail of heat that leaves a thin physical shining path of luminous touch. You put your hand on one of his as he blazes the circuit again. Poe stops biting your hip long enough to look at your hand resting on his as he plays gently with your nipple and there it is plain as day, swirls of sparks even visible in the harsh florescence. 

“You think that always happens? And we just cant see till now?” You don’t know where the question came from or even if it will make sense to Poe. You are seeing sparks, thanks to the Sansana, but that doesn’t mean that he is seeing them. The drug doesn’t work the same for everyone. But Poe nods seriously, as if it were a call to mission. 

“I know it does, baby.”  He’s been breathing like a bull, eyes glassy, but he’s still here, still Poe, even underneath the spice, and he, slowly, with your hand on his, pulls his hand down between your legs. He draws his hand out from under yours and lets your fingers rest in your own heat and surprising slickness. 

He settles his own palms on your knees and shifts your legs even more apart. Maker, you’re so exposed but you can’t find it in you to care one bit, not with the way he’s looking at your sex so… adoringly, so longingly. And certainly not with the way the spice is making your heart beat slow and syrupy…

“Touch yourself.” He rasps out the desperate order, setting a stubbly cheek on your inner thigh and scooting closer to the edge of the bunk. 

Your dominant hand flexes and curls, carefully parting your own soaked flesh. Poe whines, the grip on your knees is so fucking warm and the breath he lets out washes over your fingers and tickles your labia. 

“W-what do you want me to do?” You don’t mean it to come out sounding so lost, but this is supposed to be HIS winnings, this is the prize he EARNED with his suavity and charm, every trace of that cool demeanor left of the the desert planet now a hundred or so light years away. 

“Show me how you….” He whines again when you stroke your fingers up and down the sides of your opening. “Yes, baby, show me how you play with yourself. I gotta—“ another whine when you circle your clit, “gotta see… gotta see how you make yourself cum, baby.”

So that’s what he wants, to get the cheat codes, to play his way to your ecstasy. 

“Don’t know if I can,” you weakly admit, “don’t know if I can cum with you fucking staring at me like that.” The confession retains nothing of your usual bite, it’s a shaking admission and Poe is quick to tell you,

“Close your eyes. Pretend I’m not here. Pretend your in your bunk alone. Missing me.” He kisses your thigh slowly and whines into it. You close your eyes but it’s impossible to PRETEND he’s not here. For one, he’s so fucking WARM and his goddamn breathing is so loud. But you do as he says and squeeze your eyes tight and pretend he’s not here. Pretend that you’re alone… missing him… kriff! Missing him! What a presumptive ass! Why does he have to be so kriffing right about everything?! How does he know that the missions you’re apart, you’re in your bunk at night wishing he was there to crawl to? You take the frustration out through your fingers, zeroing in on your pleasure. 

“Might take… might take a while…”

“I got nowhere to be.”

You peek an eye open to see his hungry gaze on your ministrations and throw your head back in defeat, squeezing your lids shut again as you try to pretend he’s not there, try to pretend like you cant feel his thick torso between your legs. Try to deny the undeniable presence of him, so warm and tender and pressed patiently to your thighs and knees. Your toes curl and you bring both of your feet up to rest on his clothed thighs. Fuck, you love how thick he is everywhere. 

Your breath gets steady and deep when you rub yourself and think about how he feels inside of you when you join him during lights-out, how perfect and giving he is. The spice makes your inner reminisces clear and sharp and ultra-there, in vivid visualizations. you can perfectly recall with bright accuracy the planes of him only faintly illuminated by dark swirling blue as you writhe and join and fall together in the near darkness. The way he reigns in his desperation in favor of your needs. And the way you always cum in record-time with him, your release, without fail, causing his own to tumble out of him as if his biggest pleasure is giving YOU pleasure. 

The starting of sweat breaks out on your skin and you can feel the way your pores open up over the surface of your body in response to the unreal heat that it is working its way up to. 

You thought it would be impossible, this task of pleasuring yourself in front of him, something you’d never shown anyone. The most intimate and shameful act of self-love you reserve for no one’s knowledge, not even your own, alway under the covers, always in the dead of space, the dead of night, and always always alone. 

It’s bright and warm and blood red now when your orgasm takes over you. Your toes curl on Dameron’s tensed thighs and your torso lifts slightly off the credit littered bunk, and even though your eyes are closed in a mock-darkness, your brain conjures a starred light, breaking beams that fan out from the confines of your skull and blind yourself with hot, spiced pleasure. You fall back fully, your knees shake like the ragged breaths you whine, your fingers with a mind of their own teasing out the dregs of your pleasure in a way that takes no conscious thought at all. 

Poe surprises you then by kissing the backs of your fingers, kissing down to the nail beds and beyond, his eager lips making contact with your shaking and shimmering flesh, hot tongue dipping inside your dripping hole and lapping up your pleasure with a ravenous sound. He scoots so close that his knees and thighs go under the bottom bunk and your feet fall from his thighs to rest on the floor on either side of the soles of his boots that prop up his ass. 

“Fuck.” The word sounds tired and thirsty, your pruny fingers drift to the top of your naked thigh which is just as well because Dameron’s attentions have shifted from your hole to your nub, licking it well. He presses on it; flat, hot, and wet and you can feel the way your heartbeat leaps out of the core of you onto his tongue, pumping your life-force into him in a way that’s so fucking intimate and revealing. He licks up everything. All the wetness, every pulse, your eyes are still slammed shut and you can imagine that he’s swallowing your beating heart through the center of you, sucking it like a straw that stretches right to the thudding middle of your chest. 

He’s not just there to clean up the mess, the flicking of his tongue is clue that he’s garnered all the information he needs to bring you right back to the peak again. He’s as eager as a schoolboy in the front row with his hand raised. His tongue matches the moves and the pressure of your own fingers, carefully tracking your blazed path, and its fucking bewildering and impressive that he’s able to make the one quick muscle of his imitate the work of five practiced digits. But then again, it’s not that fucking shocking is it? Dameron is good with his tongue. And even though you’re slightly fucking mortified he’s licking you so intimately, you’re grateful for his occupation since it naturally comes with blessed silence. 

You thought you’d worry, those nights when he begged to taste you. Apprehensive on the grounds that it’d be a service that is only all for you. But it isn’t all for you, is it? He spent all his leverage to get to this stage, bartered and bargained his way to be kneeling between your thighs and the moans he’s breathing hot and wanton Into your slick flesh are so very telling of the pleasure he’s receiving from this act. 

His thick forearms snake under your backside and he grips the back of your waist in this hands, pulling your body slightly closer to his face. His humming is a resonant frequency with his nose—with the room; the humming stirs the very metal of the bed frameand you can almost see the vibrational tone of it with your minds eye; vibrating your clit as he licks you perfectly. 

You’ve heard hundred of languages on your traverses through the galaxy, having to rely on intonation alone in many drawn-barrel circumstances of translations.. and there’s no way to intonate the language of his throaty approval as anything other that absolute pleasure, complete longing, and a desperate search for satisfaction. 

The prickle of his thick stubble that frames the plush softness of his mouth scrapes your outer lips so tenderly, too tenderly, that you thread your fingers through his curly locks and gently draw his mouth closer. And with every measured movement of his jaw, the stubble catches on your intimate flesh like leisured sandpaper, mouth opening and closing and rasping against the wet flesh. It’s not unpleasant at all, its fucking heavenly and you wish it was possible to open up wider to him, to draw him deeper into you. To be the false bottom of a trap door— fully envelop him as he sinks into the pit of you face-first. He’d do it too, wouldn’t need the pretense of a trap door either. He’d go down headlong like waterslide. Fucking hell, what are you even thinking. Maybe closing your eyes so long on the spice isn’t a good idea. The sawing of his chin, of his nose, back and forth through the seam of you makes you feel like he’s going to lick you in half like a hard-candy, splitting your right down the middle, licking you all the way up till he gets to the crown of your hair and you come apart in a left and right side. Fucking hell, Lex, open your eyes. Maybe you took one dose too many. How much time has passed? How long has Dameron been there with pulled out curls, soft hands on in his hair… whose hands are those? Oh shit they’re yours. You flex your fingers just to make sure, pulling on a fistful of curls gently. He moans into your pussy and the fucking vibration. 

“Do that again.” You plead and tug on his hair in the hope it was the switch to elicit that delicious sound.

He doesn’t stop, doesn’t need clarification, but he does need to look at you through thick lashes when he moans into your pussy again. You can feel the way each wave of the sound buzzes through you the way you’ve seen sound-waves depicted in diagrams, but it’s not just sound, is it? It’s sound and motion, shaking waves through you in rippling pleasure delivered through the warm and pliant matter of his mouth. You’re so fully aware at the moment that sound waves and physical energy are made out of the same shit and you and Poe are made out of the same shit too, neither ending or beginning, only meeting in the middle and completing, not competing. And, fuck he’s humming with his hot mouth like his fucking life depends on it and his body scoots ever closer, his chest fighting the metal of the bed-frame, he presses his face so deep into your cunt that his neck bends a bit and he doesn’t even spy his own movements when he shoves two fingers into your pussy and curls them up coaxingly toward his mouth, as if he were guiding your clit to his tongue using his fingers. Christing fuck, the humming doesn’t stop and in a distant way it makes him sound pathetic, but how can you even think that about this lovely man kneeling at the alter of creation. Is it “pathetic” that he’d like you so much that he’d be on the floor, nothing separating his knee joints from the harsh slotted grates of the hull floor, all for you? Maker, his fucking legs are going to be pressed with hundreds of little bar-marks on his shins by the time he’s through. He’s certainly not feeling it now. Just like you’re not feeling the way his left hand grabs your waist like an oh-shit handle; knuckles white with steadying you or himself— you aren’t sure.

“Poe, Poe, Poe.” You huff out in short breaths that make your head dizzy and his responding moan is nothing but loud encouragement. Fuck, even the way he moves his face through your folds is like a reassuring nod. You got it, Lex. Come for me, baby.

Fuck, does the spice grant you the ability to read thoughts, because you swear to the Maker you can fucking hear him telling you to cum on his tongue. 

You lift one leg up to rest on his shoulder, the bend of your knee perfectly resting on the corner of his neck. His fingers inside of you move faster, tongue lapping with slow purposeful speed. You fuck your hips up to his giving mouth, his beautiful mouth and you cum. Like you never thought you could in this bright light with all of the shapes of yourself defined, you cum. 

And, maker, Poe drinks you up like a prize, like a glass of prized libation. The adoring sounds humming from his licking mouth are in direct warfare with your own relieved mewls. He’s twisting his mouth over every bit of your sex and you can honestly say you don’t know who sounds more relieved. 

Hazy, breathy moans fill the tiny quarters and you slap his squeezing hand twice when his tongue starts to do more harm than good. He pulls off without a bit of reticence and licks his lips slowly, drunkenly; gasping breath in a playing-it-cool manner that makes you grab for him and pull him to rest on the bed with you. Dirty credits and all. 

———

Poe kicked off his boots and disrobed to a lax extent. You offered, you truly did, to ‘take care of him’ but he just shushed you and placed a kiss to your brow, tucking you safely into his warm wide chest. 

“What’re you going to do with the money?” His voice is so sleepy and nearly disjointed. 

“Was thinking about… I don’t know, taking a vacation.”

Poe is silent for a long while, stroking your hair. “I can’t picture you taking it easy, Lex.”

You slap his linen clad chest. “Maybe you don’t know me, Dameron.”

Poe nods and blinks a few times before conceding, “maybe I don’t. Where would you go?”

You twist your fingers in the sparse chest hair that peeks out from his open shirt. “I’m not sure. Any suggestions?”

“Yavin 4 is nice this time of year.”

Time? Year? What does that even mean? But beyond those critical thoughts is the reality that he’s… inviting you. Inviting you to his home world. To potentially meet his father? To show you around… to stretch out the mission beyond Oba Diah, beyond smuggling…

“I’ve never been to Yavin.”

“Yavin 4.”

“None of the Yavin’s”

Poe chuckles and grips you closer. “It’s a far cry from Tatooine.”

You know about Yavin 4 of course, about the greenest moon in the galaxy. But there is one thing that has been troubling you.

“Ive been meaning to ask you, Poe…”

“mmmhmm?”

“Are all Yavinian males…” maker, you should have never started that sentence. If your hands weren’t occupied with tantalizing bits of his warm body, you’d be covering your face.

“What?” He smiles broadly, squeezing your head in the crook of his arm. Maker, You might as well. 

“Ugh, forget it.”

“No. Please. Are all Yavinian men….?” Maker, he’s so cute.

“I’ve…. I’ve noticed that you have a hard time fitting in the pilot’s seat? Which is built to standard human size….” Maker what in the kriff are you saying?? you must still be fucking high.

“Uh huh…??”

“I, well, are all of you so…” you squeeze your eyes shut bracing for the hit of embarrassment you’re certain is sure to follow such spiced-out thinking. “So… wide?”

May the ship crash into a meteor. May you never regain complete consciousness. So wide?? Truly an inquiry for the ages.   

Thankfully Poe laughs. A full and hearty sound despite his immediate exhaustion. “I… can’t say for sure?” He kisses the side of your forehead. “I guess you’ll have to visit and find out.”

You snuggle up against his wide warm chest, letting the buzzing fluorescents and the swirling blues wash over you without a single care to where you are, to when you are. Your eyes curtain shut slowly and you think you mutter, “bet” before you drift off to sleep, in the same bunk as Poe, in between here and there, in the middle of everything. 

END

@whatthehekko @ophelialoveshandsomemen @vermillionwinter @pri00r @sharin4readers @heresathreebee @therealsio @paper-n-ashes @crimsonheart01 @astroboots @ohsomightypeaches @dalia-corven @ozarkthedog @emmi-emrys-petrelli @laters-gators @tasmdd @samsspade

[excessive-vampires]

Danger in Numbers Part 2: Exo's Award

Masterlist with CW

“It just had to be Gemar,” Alex muttered, adjusting his sunglasses. 

“Do you have something against all the colonies?” Cassie teased. 

“It’s just so fucking bright.” 

“Most people think that makes it pretty.”

Gemar was in a binary star system, and the different angles at which the light hit the planet meant that in certain places during certain seasons any prism would throw extraordinarily vibrant and distinct rainbows in every direction. This meant many public spaces were built to incorporate a lot of glass and crystal, bathing the entire area in patterns of colored light. 

“Besides,” Cassie continued. “This is where Exohive’s primary residence is.”

“They couldn’t have picked any of their other residences? Or is it important that it be the queen bee’s nest?”

“You know that’s not how it works. Besides, would you rather be on Nova?”

“Not without a haz-mat suit.” Alex glanced around. “This is almost just as bad though. There’s got to be a ton of hives here but I have no idea who they are.”

“Why does it matter?”

“What if I’m talking with someone and they turn out to be a hive?”

Cassie clenched her jaw. Mel added a little something extra stress-reducing to the already drug-filled brownies they were making and said through Cassie, “Damn, looks like you’ll just have to not be an asshole at all for one whole day.”

Alex ran a hand through his short pink hair and muttered something under his breath. 

“Hey,” Cassie said. “You didn’t have to come with me.” Sweethive had actually been disappointed when Alex had said he was accompanying Cassie. They had been looking forward to Cassie being around other hives and not having to hide for once. But he’d insisted. “You can always go back to the ship.”

“I’m not leaving someone with no self-preservation instincts alone in a city full of hives now that they can start recruiting outsiders.”

Sweethive’s patience snapped. Silas’s grip on the cold drink he’d just bought from a street vendor a few miles from Gemar’s largest public stage tightened. He had been close enough to make the journey in time and Sweethive figured if they were reconnecting with Exohive then the more the merrier. He lifted Cassie’s hand to Alex’s ear and roughly pulled him close enough to hear him whisper. “Shut the hell up before you get yourself kicked out. If you start shit here I’m not going to defend you.” 

Alex pulled away, looking momentarily angry, then he deflated. “Yeah. I’m sorry, Cassie. I just start saying shit with no filter when I’m nervous. Not an excuse, I know, but I’ll try to keep a lid on it.”

“If you’re really sorry, I’m not who it should be directed at.” That was a lie, of course. But Alex didn’t know that. Cassie tried to quicken her pace to walk away but a sting of pain in her left knee slowed her down. She grumbled a curse. 

“Cassie, whoa, slow down!” Alex sounded concerned. “You okay? Do you need your cane?” 

“I need to be able to hold this camera with both hands. It’s an extremely expensive piece of equipment and I’m using it to document something that could end up in history books.” Carter said with Cassie’s voice. “This is worth a little pain.” 

Alex had known Cassie long enough not to argue. Finally they reached the spot in front of the stage reserved for the media. Cassie scanned her temporary press badge and moved through the barrier, leaving Alex on the other side. He frowned at her. 

“I’m fine. Go. Get some food, have fun, look at the pretty colors. Don’t stay where you don’t want to be because you’re worried about me for no reason. I’m an adult, I don’t need supervision to film a medal ceremony.”

Alex gave her a look but then sighed. “You’re right, Cassie, I should trust you. I’m gonna go back to the ship and see what ridiculous touristy shit they have at the refueling station gift shop.” 

Cassie smiled. “Good luck.”

Alex smiled back and started walking away from the growing crowd. 

Cassie’s shoulders relaxed. No more pretending for now.

“Your companion seems pretty grumpy for someone on leave from a ship,” someone behind Cassie said. She turned and saw a man with clear-framed glasses and faceted clear beads adorning his dreadlocks. The color of his badge identified him as a local reporter. 

“He doesn’t do well with new things. His heart belongs to the past.” 

“And how do you like new things?”

The smile on Cassie’s face was Silas’. “There’s nothing better.” 

The man held out his hand. “Drew Findhive.”

There was only one reason a hive would introduce themselves in a casual context with a member name. Laughter from the collective left Cassie’s mouth. And Mel’s, startling a small bird from the feeder outside their open kitchen window. The rest of the members just smirked. Findhive looked confused. “You heard Alex call me Cassie, didn’t you?”

“Is that… not your name?”

“It is. My name is Cassie Sweethive.”

Findhive laughed too now. “Oh shit, we thought you were–”

“Some thrill-seeking quiet you could seduce with the mystery and exoticness of being a hive as long as you put me at ease with a singular name?” Carter commented. 

“Okay, yeah, you caught us. So, your old-fashioned friend…”

“He doesn’t know.”

“Seriously?”

“It started as a bet between us and the ship’s captain. How long would it take the rest of the crew to realize? But then we got to know Alex. He’s fun to hang out with and a mostly good friend, but like you said, he’s old-fashioned.” 

“Ah.”

The mood was dark, so Kara decided to lighten it. “Well, you weren’t entirely wrong about us. We do love a good thrill.” 

“Really?” Findhive leaned in close. “And are you open to seduction?”

Cassie bit her lower lip. “We’re actually hoping to reconnect with Exo tonight if we can. But would you be terribly offended if we wanted to exchange information as a backup plan in case they’re too busy for old flames?” 

“You know them?” Findhive’s eyes went wide. 

“We haven’t talked in years, always had more actions in common than words, if you get me.” Silas explained. 

“Hmm,” Findhive replied as they pressed a button on their wrist-screen. Cassie’s screen dinged with the incoming contact info and all of Sweethive smiled. “Would you be terribly offended if we say we hope they blow you off?” they said with a smile. 

Then the stage lit up. Both hives snapped to attention, Sweet raising their camera and Find pulling out a screen and stylus to take notes with. 

Earth’s ambassador to Gemar approached the podium, but Sweethive’s attention was fully captivated by the six members of Exohive walking up to the opposite side of the stage. Six was a lot for a hive, and one more than Exo had the last time Sweet saw them, but the addition seemed to prove lucky. Exo’s members had each dyed their hair a different color of the rainbow to match the light thrown by the stage’s many prisms. Silas laughed. Then Cassie’s eyes locked onto Rose Exohive. Orange was a good color on her. An amazing color. It made her look like she was on fire, which absolutely matched the impression given by Exo’s behavior. Carter reluctantly dragged Cassie’s eyes back to the camera screen to make sure the whole stage was still in focus. 

The ambassador’s speech was short, which Sweethive was both appreciative of and irked by. They couldn’t help but think that if that medal were going to a quiet there would be a lot more fanfare. But still, the weight of the camera was making Cassie’s arms sore by the time the ambassador was handing the medal around Carlos’ neck. The ribbon was as bright red as his hair and his smile was wide and unapologetic. 

Then there was a horribly loud crack. Silas, now at the back of the crowd, looked up so Cassie could keep filming. 

All thoughts of getting more footage left Sweethive’s collective as Silas saw the crystal tower to the right of the stage start to fall. Cassie screamed for everyone onstage to take cover. Exohive looked up and began to scramble to the edge of the stage out of the crystal spire’s path. The ambassador ran stage right and threw himself off the edge. The heavy shimmering pole crashed into the stage without crushing anyone and for a second Sweethive thought the danger was gone. Then something backstage exploded.

[multifamdomfan12]

Formula One Drivers

Fic Recs

Charles Leclerc

Imagines

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Ten seconds

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Better in red

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smut

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More Than Friends

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Thanks for not killing me

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Shal      When Shal became daddy

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Uncle darling

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Angel in Disguise

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Goodnight

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Right Timing

One where you have a huge crush on your best friend's brother, since you were a teenager, with him continuously telling you he was too old for you and you had no chance. You eventually gave up hope and moved on.

Baby bear

Blurbs 

Stedad!charles

Banned

inta live

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Hymne à L'amour   Part 2  Part 3 

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Maybe summer doesen´t have to end

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I will never stop loving you   Part 2   Part 3

Little Enzo    Part 2

Lucky charm      Part 2

Charles Leclerc finds his son's paediatrician a little bit too pretty not to ask her on a date right before the Monaco GP.

Daniel Ricciardo

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An Eye On You

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Florist

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dad!danny at the texian grand prix

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Daddy´s little twin

Maybe a peek...'cause your hot

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Twin Flame

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Feels like Home

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Lando Norris

Imagines

Inappropriate

Max is convinced that his sisters realitionship with Lando is inappropriate. The two of them testing his patience over and over again. But he will soon find out that them being apart isn’t much better. (ft. Pierre Gasly)

Verstappen!Reader

Medicine

food poisoning in brazil means your boyfriend needs some medicine

You are My Sunshine

Lando comes home after a race and has memories of your life leading up to this moment of him coming home to you and baby Carlie

Married in 5 years

lando convinces you and max to do a cooking stream

Sweet little lies

Your brother Alex plans a trip away just before the Italian Grand Prix and invites a few drivers, including Lando Norris.

Albon!reader

Gift Giver

In which his love language is gift giving. Then the gifts get crazier and crazier.

Series/Mini series

Mini Norris  Part 2

Dad!Lando

Stepmum!Reader

Lewis Hamilton

Imagines

heard your every word

journalist!reader

Blurbs

What they have

Dad!Lewis

Series

It's sir actually  Part 2  Part 3

Max Verstappen

Imagines

Long Time Lovers

Horner!reader

Heart Shaped Glitter

The one where pranking your teammate made two rivals fall in love

Unexpected

He may be a two time world champion but lacks other skills which lets him believe to not be a good father.

Unpredictable

in which Cherrie is a unpredictable chaotic mess and max stresses over her like a mother hen

Big Brother

After a bad qualifying session, you lock yourself in your driver's room and your big brother comes to comfort you.

Verstappen!reader

Blurbs

Series

Pierre Gasly

Imagines

Praying for an Angel

y/n walks into pierres life at its hardest weekend

spa 2019

Separate Hotel Rooms

You and Pierre still haven’t had your first kiss and Charles thinks the worst

Secret

He had broken your heart, and left you when you needed him the most. Should you give him a chance to make it up to you?

Mini You

Dad!pierre

Little Princess

daddy day care

dad!pierre feat: dad!charles

Eloide

pierre gasly knew one thing for certain, he wanted to be a dad. when that comes about in an unconventional way pierre is over the moon

Series

Baby

All the milestones you and Pierre go through to have your beautiful bundle of joy

Carlos Sainz Jr.

Imagines

Max´s sister

reader who is max’s half sister and he found out in 2021. After meeting he invited her to a Grand Prix and this is where she meets Carlos.

If you had to pick

Carlos made a bad first impression, but do first impressions really matter that much?

Just my little boy

Carlos and reader being grid parents to Lando

A certain Romance

A love affair is never an easy thing to keep under wraps. Or, the four times your two brothers almost catch you and Carlos together, and the one time they finally do.

Leclerc!reader

Blurbs

Series

Man´s world

Female!Leclerc reader

slow burn, eventual Smut, enemies to lovers

Mick Shumacher

Imagines 

Romeo and Juliet

Sebastian Vettel’s daughter

Gina’s Brother

Blurbs

Series

Bestfriends to Lovers

George Russell

Imagines

Family time

Glimpse of parenthood with George

[away-ward]

Newcomer here and i just finished nightfall, wanted to share because i saw your fics. Unwanted confessions, and idk if you've received these kinds before: dn series made me feel old. These characters mature so fast and were so sexualised since they were young, and later on being only in their mid 20s, acting as if the world will collapse just because they dont have kids or make babies at 24. They gave me white christian religious parents trauma frfr. Their obsession of being liberal but gender roles still being so conservative put the feminism movement back to 200 years ago, i fucking hate every characters in this series except for emory, frfr. Like they can be dark romance rich billionaires and have amazing char arcs but what the fuck was that series? Dn made me believe, rich white privilege people and blonds are really THAT fucking stupid. I'd like to go to the US just to see blond white privileged americans act like rika & winter frfr.

oh, And that wuss ass "lover" guy will grayson who "claimed" to love emory scott so much (🙄) reach out to her yada yada, while fucking around with other women and having threesomes here and there so easily, it was NOT swoony or romantic. He's cheap as fuck, i hate manwhore male characters like him so fucking much. And they just excuse his shit because he was pining for emory, as if he fucking deserves her or somthing. I swear, will grayson does not deserve emory scott, but thats my unpopularopinion. if he had cared enough about emmy, he shouldve fought for her harder. Urgh, i hate weak male characters, such a turn off. All that nightfall plot happening only because he was the weakest of them, yikes. Cant believe he was only ever a man with emory, it's giving "she's only tough when a man saves her" trope, but in reverse, and oh, what does that looks like? Rika fane and winter ashby's arcs! Rika, winter and will, three dumbest characters of the series, frfr. No wonder damon liked them, theyre so similar with one another. Emory scott's patience is truly better than mine.

And Dont even get me started with alex. I hate her in noghtfall. Why did pd butcher her charcter like that? I was shocked, girl! Shocked! Not even banks and rika who treated her like shit initially got a slap, and emmy who didnt even bother got one? In a conversation thats not even about her? The fuck? Where's the girl's girl personality at? Out the window now that her love life with aydin was threathened? Wow. Worse is, they're friends (emmy alex).... i hate pd for this, they just cannot write two pretty female friends who thrive. They always make their male caharcters have amazing bonds with each other, but all fmcs had some sort of internalised misogynistic catfights. If pd can give us willdamon, they can give us rikalaex, banksemmy, alexemmy amazing female frienships alright. Pd just chose not to. And notice how all of their other books, the girls were always around men, but no amazing same-age female presence in their live? Even emmy admitted she was not familiar around woman. Like?? She had amazing relationship with her mom and grandma was compared to the rest no? Why cant we have at least this in this whole disgusting male worshipping series? Istg, there was no reason for pd to build up a powerful and empowering worldbuilding for a women like the horsemen's wives but only to make their same teachers to be men, who never had to know what it feels like to struggle as a woman, ESPECIALLY in their society in thunder bay? This happened in birthday girl, in fall away, misconduct, like??? Its a pattern atp. I hate it. If you have any book recs thathave amazing female relationship between women, please do share, i need some cleansing from all these stupid male chars.

Other than that, i guess i shouldnt have ever expected monogamy or exclusivity in relationships when it comes to pd's books too. These chars are all so overly touchy. I heard about the rikabanks bonus, and it ruined hideaway and corrupt for me. Because why is banks whole ass personality about being jealous of rika, being so caught with damon and kai, AFTER A WHOLE DECADE. does she not have a fucking hobby or go to therapy or something? Stupid as hell. And why is rika being in the centre a.fucking.gain. God, shes dull af, pd just stop! What also pisses me off even more is when people can freely kiss and touch will (like alex, winter to will in killswitch and noghtfall train scene), but god forbid emmy had the same attention or touchesfrom other men, that bitchass grayson starts to act up, as if he fought for her life or something. Fuck him honestly, atleast damon admitted he was a literal piece of shit. I hate people and chars like will because theyre so hypocritical. Never in a million years i would expect to hate will in his own book, but god damn, he really really ruined nightfall for me. Not a single redeeming quality to that fucker. He made me swore so much. I already hated him for his treatment to rika banks and winter in the previous books, and now him with emmy? And just watching emmy getting hurt again again again, not only by her world and herself, but also by will, by his own friends, and by the people associated to his world like aydin and taylor, and never standing by her side through it all? Yea. No. Fuck man, i hate will grayson so much. I wouldve given up on him by the end of the train scene, ngl.

will grayson will never be a real man to me. Like he's a wuss, my girl emory deserve better. "His only mistake was he loves too much", no his mistake was being a hypocritical self-righteous shallow privilege entitled narcissistic assaulting male whore. And Thats only the tip of the iceberg of his shitty character. Nightfall ws the biggest scam.

i honestly just wanna vent out my feelings about this book, because i just finished nightfall, and hooooo i never thought i'd hate will, man. Never thought i'd hate him like i hated michael and damon but here we are. It's always the hypocritical angelic male ones that ends up being scum like this. Oo at least kai was only whiny and hurt rika/ banks and bare in mind, kai was still fucking shit and i hate him, but god damn, will grayson really was the biggest disappointment of devils night series for me. I immediately went to tumblr to check out his tags and found your fics, and i'd like to say, i like your will only 5% more. I cannot imagine will being that good to emmy honestly, so i guess it stays as a wish fulfillment for me as a fan of emmy. I might fucking hate will, but emmy loves him so wtv. If emmy had done one wrong thing, its will grayson. i cant lie, this was shocking to me because i went into this book expecting to like will. But i only came to meet a whiny loser ass white privilege guy who never had to suffer anything other than the consequences of his and his friend's actions? Wow, not enough that we had this kind of man irl, theyre everywhere in fiction too, god! And people hate rika more? Nah, i hated rika, but never more than will grayson frfr. Theyre all so fucking dumb. And on that dumb note, whats with the chars (except for emmy) always anticipating damon? He never served? He talked shit so much, but never actually served? The fuck? At least in haunting adeline, zade meadows did what he said. Damon was just the guy thatblabbers too much, but do nothing. And even when he had plans, its always with someone else's help? Huh? Cant believe they compared zade to damon. Theyre both scums, but at least zade had creds, and then theres damon, the bland no-skills wolf-like guy.. ughhhh 🤮🤢 i hate when author tries to use shock value to hide their awful arcs, because damon torrance and rika fane were two of their mostshitty ass chars arcs written so far. Plus michael. Michael was like a standee to his friends, but thats a whole nother topic.

i honestly dont know if its fine for me to rant here since im a newbie but if you dont feel comfy, you can just delete this post, just wanted to vomit my rants yk.

i honestly dont know if its fine for me to rant here since im a newbie but if you dont feel comfy, you can just delete this post, just wanted to vomit my rants yk.

Honestly, I have inadvertently cultivated a place for people to send their anonymous rants, so I guess why not? It’s fine.

To be perfectly honest, though, there’s not a lot for me to reply to.

First, thank you so much for reading my fics! And for hating them 5% less that the series. I’m going to take it as a compliment. If it wasn’t meant that way, then let me live in delusion.

Of course, the characters in my fics are a bit more idealized. I write them the way I wanted them to be, which if you read other portions of my blog, is far from what PD has given us. That’s fine, they own the characters; they can write them however they want. But I wrote something that was self-indulgent and soothed over the parts of the series that hurt the most for me, or that I felt were the most intriguing. I wrote them for me first, and posted them in case it helped anyone else. I’m happy that people enjoy them, but I know they’re not everyone’s tastes.

Second, I guess I’ll say I’m sorry about Nightfall. The sour feeling of being let down, I think, is one that most of us are familiar with here.

Ummm. I do think it’s a little weird that you’ve read multiple PD books, and even finished the DN series… especially since you were looking forward to Will. Because I hated Will for the first three books and if I weren’t curious about Emory, I wouldn’t have finished the series at all. I also find it equally weird that your first impulse after finishing a series you hate is to go to the tag of the character you hated the most? I mean, I’ve definitely clicked on hot-takes I know I’m going to disagree with and hate-read things, but it’s not my go-to.

I’m sure the Emory tag is lovely.

I haven’t read any of PDs other books, so I don’t know how they compare.

Beyond that,

I swear, will grayson does not deserve emory scott, but thats my unpopularopinion.

Maybe if you were to poll everyone who has ever read the series, that would be an unpopular opinion, but I think if you look back about six months on this blog, you’ll probably find a dozen or so messages almost exactly like this. So, around these parts, it’s not such an unpopular opinion. I think most people who message me probably feel the exact same way.

But I’ve already written essays of poorly done character analysis to defend Will, Emory, their relationship, and his relationship with others. There’s not much for me to add to that without just restating myself. I share some of the same opinions as you, and some different ones. I don’t think your thoughts and feelings are very unpopular at all.

If you have any book recs thathave amazing female relationship between women, please do share, i need some cleansing from all these stupid male chars

Unfortunately, I haven’t had a lot of time to read lately, so all of my recommendations would be old. When I do have the time, I’ve been rereading stuff.

I also don’t have KU, so I’m not familiar with the catalog. I had it at one point, specifically to read Nightfall, and afterward I started a lot of different series, but there wasn’t a lot that caught my attention. I’m sure there are a lot of KU readers with blogs around that would be able to offer you a rec.

I have recently reread the English version of Hana Yori Dango, or Boys Over Flowers. One thing I noted was how amazing the female relationships are. They’re so positive, even when the girls are conflicted. It’s a manga, 37 volumes long, so of course it would take a diagram or a PowerPoint to break down how this is, but it was something I really appreciated on this read through. The girls are all very different, too, without feeling like they're cardboard cut-outs. If you’re at all interested in manga, and I know not everyone is so no worries, I highly recommend it. It’s honestly a superior take on the “4 rich boys who cause trouble” and their romances.

I’ve also been rereading Sempre, which I mentioned before. That’s sort of a mafia romance, but I would categorize it as dark. I’ve been noting how supportive the female relationships are there as well. I’ve really been enjoying that this time around.

And that brings me to a TV show, actually. I’ve mentioned it and reblogged a lot of Leverage stuff, but it truly is a comfort show for me. Parker sits very close to Emory in my heart, and I had hoped that Emory would have some of the same opportunities to develop relationships that Parker had. Parker’s relationship with Sophie is so interesting and nice to watch unfold.

In fact, something I haven’t said before because I don’t think anyone would understand it, is that I had hoped that Alex would become more like a Terra-type character. For anyone interested, here’s an episode. You’d need Amazon to watch it, but it’s probably free somewhere anyway.

Anyway, that’s all I got right now. I truly am sorry that it was such a bad experience for you. You’re welcome to stick around, but I’m sure since you hated so much, you’re ready to move on after unloading like that. But it’s all good either way. I hope you’re on to better and better things.

Take care of yourself!

With love and appreciation,

-KO