#dean isn't in this part but he will be in the future

[fujobrainrot]

Part 1: ill wind

I can't draw rn but I keep having thoughts™, so I decided to try to write them instead. This is part 1 of however many. I already wrote 3 parts and I'll post them soon, after I finish editing them. This is unbeta'd so I welcome any constructive criticism. The lore is completely fucked because of changes in the timeline so just roll with it. Title is from a Radiohead song

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1600-ish words, gen, no ships, no TWs (may change in the future), John centric/John's POV

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Summary: John didn't die and Sam is deep into his blood addiction.

He never thought he'd live to see the day that Sam would succumb to the filth inside him. He always knew he'd be the one to kill him once he did. 

He never thought he'd live to see the day that Sam would succumb to the filth inside him. He always knew he'd be the one to kill him once he did. 

John had followed Sam from the motel where he shared a room with the demon Ruby. Whose blood he drank regularly. Azazel’s rot - his Sammy would never do something so vile of his own volition. His plan had been to confront Sam there, in the parking lot of the motel, and kill the monster his son had become. After that, he would hunt down Ruby and deal with her. He had never told his sons, didn’t want them to use it, but he possessed a knife that could kill demons, acquired through means he was not proud of. He had used it only once, in a scuffle where he had no choice, it was either kill or die, no time for an exorcism. But as the demon died, so did the host. John was no stranger to murder - he had done unspeakable things in his time with the marines, and more yet to protect his Sammy from a group of hunters who had learned of the boy’s tainted blood and decided to take matters into their own hands - but his vow as a hunter was to protect people, and he would uphold it as best he could. God help him, though, he would make an exception for Ruby. He knew nothing of the poor woman she had locked away inside herself. Was she a sister? A mother? What were her dreams, aspirations, hobbies, talents? It didn’t matter, she would die too. 

There, in that parking lot, looking at Sam, however, he couldn’t do it. With his heart beating fast, mouth dry, his hands trembling, his blood rushing so fast he could hear nothing else, he hesitated. By the time he came to his senses, Sam was already in his car. So he followed him. John had hotwired the oldest, most decrepit car he could find before coming here, couldn't just take the Impala given the circumstances, and used it to follow Sam expertly. He had taught his boys everything they knew, everything that made them, including their faults and weaknesses. Maybe those most of all. So he knew exactly how to tail them unnoticed, had done it before.

It had to be tonight. Not another day could pass, John refused to let his boy deteriorate further. 

Sam seemed to have been headed to the closest dive bar at first, but after parking, he walked past it and into the wilderness behind it. John knew how to traverse any environment, be it urban or wild, without making a sound, knew how to take advantage of blind spots and shadows. Especially an environment like this, with thick flora, hot and damp and alive. It reminded him of his service, put him in a very specific mindset, like he could go through with any order, regardless of how opposed to it he may be. Made him feel like a soldier. Ready - and yet unprepared. 

After some time stalking his son, when he feels he’s far enough away from civilization, he decides it’s time, can’t delay this any longer. He raises his gun and shouts Sam’s name.

Sam turns quickly and meets his father’s eyes in the gloom, his own demon-black and large in surprise, and John's full of anger and the fear he can't allow himself to feel. John grips his gun with both hands on the handle, finger on the trigger, safety off, muzzle trained on Sam’s heart. He’s marine steady.

The air is stale and humid in this swampy forest and his boots caked in mud. John's feet are uncomfortable inside damp are socks. Surrounding them are the sounds of insects, frogs, the occasional howl of some canid. It makes John sweat with anticipation, but he can see that his son's skin is dry, unnaturally so. Lit by the full moon filtered by the canopy above them, he looks pale, long dead. Marble smooth. 

Sam's mouth slowly curls into a mirthful and derisive smile, one that looks like it should show sharp blood-covered fangs instead of his son’s perfect white teeth. His dimples frame that disgusting grin in a way that turns John's stomach with the wrongness of it. It's uncanny. His hands are still steady though. It has to be tonight. 

Sam breaks the silence with a snicker. “What do you think you’re doing?” he pauses, but John can’t say a word. “Are you here to kill me?”, he laughs again, louder, cruel. John’s doesn’t falter, but his throat is tight and dry, can’t force out a single word. He won’t admit it but the fact is that, under Sam’s gaze, he doesn’t know what to say. Sam spreads his arms, “Go on, then.”

His son. His boy, his baby, his Sammy. A bead of sweat rolls down his temple. Pull the trigger, he tells himself, but he doesn’t. He’s not your Sammy anymore. He’s Azazel’s weapon. “It’s not too late, Sam”, John finally manages, his voice gravel rough but thankfully steady. He takes his finger away from the trigger. What the fuck? Yes it is, he’s too far gone. There’s nothing you can do for him now. “You can be cured, Sammy, I know how. I can help you”, he pleads.You can’t. Finish him. He clicks the safety on, lowers his gun. Idiot. “You don’t have to do this, don’t have to be this - this-” Crap. He hates it when he stutters.

“Yes I do. You know it, don’t lie to me - to yourself.” Sam finally drops his arms, and his demeanor changes. He tilts his head down a bit, somber. His eyes look bigger like this. “You’ve always known there was something dirty in me, since I was a little kid. You’ve known so much about this, about me, and - and you lied, and you kept lying. Hell, you even know his name! How long, huh? How long have you known his name and you never told me?” Sam barks out a laugh, sardonic and defeated at the same time. After a moment he continues. John thinks he sounds exhausted. “You know why I need to do this dad. I need to stop Lilith, I’m the only one -”

“No, you’re not”, John interrupts, loud and assertive. He’s glad his trepidation doesn’t come through. “We can figure this out, Sam, we have other options. We can figure out how to make more bullets. And even if we can’t use the Colt for whatever damn reason, there’s gotta be something somewhere on how to stop her. We’ll find another way. We always do” John begs. Sam’s expression doesn’t change.  

There’s a pregnant pause between them. The air feels thick, heavy, suffocating in John’s lungs. He can do this, needs to do this, to bring his baby back to him, to protect and fix him. He needs to kill him. He needs to wash away his sickness, he needs to destroy Azazel’s weapon no matter what it takes, he needs -

Sam takes an apprehensive step towards his father. Yes baby, please, please come to me. The closer Sam gets, the more John’s relaxes. His chest fills with warmth and although Sam’s eyes are still hard and black, John can already feel his son in his arms. He lets go of himself then, his hands shaky and his furrowed brows relaxing, his breath quick, though he doesn’t let himself smile yet. He thinks he’s about to cry. When Sam reaches him, John's eyes are wet. Sam’s face is still unreadable to him however. It doesn’t look light and hopeful like it should be in a moment like this, but he chooses to ignore it. He hasn’t had his boy this close to him in months.

Then, Sam wraps one hand around John’s own on the grip, and the other around the barrel, and part of John feels delirious at the skin to skin contact he missed so much with his youngest, so desperate he was that this feels like a caress, that he doesn’t register Sam’s intention immediately. Slowly, firmly, Sam brings the gun back up, lines it with his heart again, and John’s blood goes cold. In Sam’s eyes, John sees a veil of sadness, anger, and something else he’s too emotionally illiterate to understand. 

Despair paints John’s own face then, mouth agape, eyebrows raised and eyes big, scared. The tears he was holding back break, roll down his cheeks and disappear into his days-old scruffy beard. His chin quivers like a child's, and he shakes his head in disbelief. His thoughts devolve into no no no no no no no no no no Sammy no!

“Do it. ”

I can’t. 

Sam’s face twists into a snarl, and he demands again, louder, harsher, “Do it!”. 

I can’t. I never could.

Sam disengages the safety, brings John’s index finger into the trigger with ease. John’s hands have gone slack, and if he had the mental bandwidth to think of anything, he would be surprised that he’s still standing. 

“This is what you do, isn’t it, John? Kill monsters? One shot, that’s all it takes, one squeeze of your finger and this will all be over. You’ll have done your job.”

A long moment passes, and Sam sighs. He seems disappointed somehow. He removes John’s hands from the gun and John lets them fall to his sides. He hasn’t blinked once since Sam held up the gun, but tears continue to trail down his cheeks. Sam takes John’s gun with him as he steps away, and John does nothing. 

When he’s some meters away from his father, Sam turns and says, cutting like a blade, “Coward.” 

I am. 

Sam keeps walking away and John’s legs finally give. He doesn’t register the cold mud seeping into his jeans where he fell to his knees, or on the tips of his fingers, low because his shoulders are slumped and his body is curling into itself. His gaze is fixed on Sam’s back, and when his boy disappears among the foliage, he hiccups, and then starts to sob.

[scoobydoodean]

You really just can't unsee it once you see it though, can you?

Sam starts blaming Dean for what he's going to do (work with Ruby) way back in 3.09 because Dean isn't going to be around to be Sam's mommy, which is going to force Sam's hand.

After Dean comes back, Sam actually blames Dean for him working with Ruby by saying Dean wasn't there to protect him (4.04).

Dean repeatedly begs Sam not to work with Ruby and is ignored repeatedly (3.03, 3.04, 3.09, 3.16, 4.01-4.04, 4.12-4.22).

After telling Dean to open up to him and trust him (4.08), Sam calls Dean weak and pathetic for being traumatized by hell and says Dean is holding him back and therefore deserves to be lied to because he can't be of use (4.14) Sam says it's not what he really thinks when they both know it is (and Sam repeats it to other characters in 4.16, and 4.18) and then he admits it's the truth again to Dean's face in 4.21.

Sam accuses Dean of not trusting him enough (4.21).

Bobby blows up at Dean for not supporting Sam enough and calls him a pansy after Sam strangled Dean near unconscious, and tells him family is supposed to make you miserable (4.22).

Dean tries to reach out to Sam and Zachariah and Cas actively prevent him from doing so (Cas only at first) (4.22)

Zachariah (5.01) and Cas (5.02) both tell Dean the apocalypse is his fault because Dean didn't reach Sam in time to stop him from killing Lilith.

Dean says Sam hurt him, Sam is the one Dean depended on the most and Sam hurt him in ways he can't even voice (5.01). Sam apologizes, but then in the very next episode, shoves Dean into a wall for not trusting him like Dean is crazy and irrational when Sam doesn't even trust himself (5.02).

Sam says he thinks they should go their separate ways and is shocked when Dean agrees easily. Dean says that he spends more time worrying about Sam than he does doing the job right and time apart would be good. Sam reiterates that he's sorry and Dean gently says he knows Sam is (5.02).

Cas asks Dean if he's okay even without his brother, and Dean says "Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I’ve had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I’ve had with Sam in years, and you’re not that much fun. It’s funny, you know, I’ve been so chained to my family, but now that I’m alone, hell, I’m happy." (5.03)

Sam says he wants back in. Dean objects, on the basis that he thinks they're stronger apart. Dean says they're each other's weaknesses and it's being used against them (5.04, but the weakness line is repeated from 3.03 and 3.16).

Zachariah pushes Dean into a future 2014 where Dean never met up with Sam again, and as a result, Sam said "Yes" to Lucifer, and billions of people died. All because Dean didn't want to be around Sam after being hurt and never reconnected with him (5.04).

Dean reconnects with Sam (5.04) even though he clearly doesn't want to, because the first case we see them on again, Dean struggles to trust Sam and leaves to go drink alone because he doesn't want to be around Sam (5.05).

Sam says part of the reason he went off with Ruby was to get away from Dean, because Dean is smothering. Dean is the problem in the relationship, because Sam feels inferior compared to him. Dean apologizes for being too smothering (5.05).

What does all of this tell you? Dean can't win. Dean will always be the bad guy in the family. He loves too much, or he isn't loving enough. Sam needs him and Dean wasn't there for him and so Sam went down the wrong path, but also Dean is smothering and Dean being smothering is the reason Sam went down the wrong path. Sam is not a trustworthy person, but Dean doesn't trust him enough. Sam not being trustworthy is Dean's fault. Dean doesn't deserve trust, but Sam deserves Dean's trust no matter what and not giving Sam his trust is the worst possible thing in the entire world and also again makes him smothering. The apocalypse is Dean's fault. Every single thing Sam does every single mistake he might ever make in his life is always at least partly Dean's fault and Dean's responsibility.

[autisticandroids]

au fics part two: canon-a-little-to-the-left

alright i'm a little late to the current round of @spnficrecfest. on account of I Hauve Covid. that's also why i missed the long fic / short fic round, and i will go back and do that at some point, but not yet. anyway. two fic rec lists for this round. one for true aus, and one for canon-a-little-to-the-left aus.

i may not be a huge fan of traditional aus, but i'm an absolute aficionado of things that relate to canon but put a rather different spin on it. i have been looking forward to this day (rubs my little hands together).

in order of wordcount:

patchwork drapery of dreams by tigriswolf, 1k, chose not to warn

a decade or so later, victor henriksen catches ben braeden. gen.

orison by whereupon, 2k, mcd

after it all ends, cas baptises dean. destiel.

kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep by lise, 4k, chose not to warn

a disturbing little story. it's all in the context. sam/lucifer.

sleepwalking the life fantastic by insanetrolllogic, 5k, chose not to warn

gen. it's 1995 and sam wakes up normal.

cheyenne by deadlybride, 8k, mcd

victor henriksen and sam winchester in the lebanon alternate universe. gen.

the following story takes place at night by beetlebeverage, 12k, chose not to warn

this one blew my socks off. destiel, but very strange. a season two au. the winchesters come across a cult.

i would most especially recommend this one if you're a fan of the first church at the end of the world, which should tbh also be on this list, but it's on my endverse list instead.

the white whale. by orange_crushed, 14k, violence and chose not to warn

generations in the future, cas still works with winchesters.

right of conquest should also objectively be on here but i recced it already [sob emoji].

freakshow by mme_yersinia, 26k

stanford era dean, and an angel in a cage. destiel.

the inexhaustible silence of houses by askance, 31k, mcd

some things are fandom classics for a reason. a destiel haunting.

back road, black road by eden22, 167k, violence warning

so can i confess something? i'm actually only about halfway through reading this, currently. which i feel like is against the spirit of a fic rec list. i thought of trying to put on a burst of speed and finish it specifically to rec it, but it's simply too long for that. and i just can't not rec it, it's way too good.

anyway, this fic is balls to the wall insane. perfect "what if the early seasons actually had the vibes they pretend to" story. specifically, kind of a "what if born under a bad sign was good and also was the entirety of seasons one and two" thing.

sam never made it to stanford, and when dean goes to pick him up, he isn't there. the level of gore and body horror in this fic raised my eyebrows, and you guys know me. i'm no slouch. half is dean pov, half is sam pov. the sam pov is actually my favorite because it's so insane and fucked. oh and it's also destiel.

[missmarveledsblog]

MISS MARVELLED'S MASTERLIST:

all my works here in one stop shop for oneshots .

top gun:

Jake hangman seresin :

FLUMPY (jake seresin x reader)

The dagger squad all were wondering who the mysterious figure was in one of the rooms in the base only to discover to bradley's explaining it was pete maverick Mitchell's  kid  with out seeing them fully before leaving jake makes a comment he will in future regret .  y/n doesn't let the man off light with the comment either . 

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11

one shots :

come soon

BRADLEY ROOSTER BRADSHAW

IF SHE WHERE MINE :

when  rooster finds reader stupid boyfriend cheating he doesn't mind telling him exactly how stupid  he is for hurting  a woman like that  , a woman he dreams of

Now she's mine :

sequel to if she were mine  where  rooster shows y/n how much she really loves her in the best way possible . 

THE LAST OF US :

joel miller:

call me cupid

when Ellie notices  the longing looks joel  gives  the woman in the canteen who does the same when joel isn't looking  she take it as her sole mission to set them up and even has a helper in her endeavours 

part one part two part three

sweetpea :

when failing to live it in new york  sweet pea goes home only to meet two new faces at her families barbeque that leads to new job and new friends and maybe more 

part one

It's a start:

when joel is settling into life in jackson there's one thing that has his attention , a woman of the name Y/N . The loner who barely spoke to anyone other than his brother til joel and y/n are sent to find supplies he soon finds out the reason why the girls quiet as he tries to break down the walls she built so long .

part one part two part three part four

i'll show you different :

y/n ( peach ) is learning to be free , learning to be her own woman again. Since life wasn't so easy for girl she ran from one monster into hands of another now back in her hometown back with her grandfather she learns being free is lot harder than she thought but lucky for her there's a couple of brothers help her along the way .

part one part two part three part four part five

SUPERNATURAL :

DEAN WINCHESTER :

IDIOTS :

when reader becomes the victim of a entity Dean is forced to admit feeling that he thought he could keep away in fear of being hurt .

CASTIEL:

A KIND OF SEX EDUCATION :

when a certain angel gets curious on certain matters

part one

part two part three

sam winchester

Spellbinding

sam being completely in love with reader who happens to be his best friend while on a hunt she is hit with a curse making her needy clingy mess while sam was loving the closeness it was only temporary right?

AVENGERS :

tony stark :

some one older :

when boys your age just don't do it for you but someone older does  .

part one

part two

PUNISHER , DAREDEVIL :

frank castle

angelverse :

angel :

When frank meets Matt murdock's sister , he become intrigued more and more as he's around the  so called angel of hell's kitchen ( How they met)  

angel night :

Frank comes home to thinking his angel is in danger only to realise that she has had a nightmare . he makes sure to comfort his girl . this like part of what i will be calling the angel verse  of our beloved bad ass punisher and his equally bad ass sarcastic ball of sunshine that is y/n " angel" murdock . 

bucky barnes :

the one :

just the grumpy teddy bear bucky pinning after thor sister that's been there through everything  

It's only pretend right ? :

summary : bucky (more so steve) agree's to be Y/N fake boyfriend for a week at her families ranch , he discovers his best friend left out some part that not all of her family is accepting of her but bucky is gonna be there every step to show them why she the best .

part one

stranger things :

steve harrington :

The babysitting trap :

when always being the babysitter has it's perks for once.   except their friends had plans for the two

part one

part two *

Eddie munson :

Before he cheats :

Y/N hopper is out with the gang celebrating at the hideout when her boyfriend walks in with a blonde on his arm and she goes for where it hurts ... his car while eddie help the woman he secretly loves get over her new ex .

Lead me to you :

everyone thought they were dead but what happens when a ghost from the past brings hawkins metal head back from the so called dead and how will their friendship stands three years after dealing with feeling of the future and the nightmares of the past .

Part one

part two

the walking dead :

Daryl Dixon:

WORTHY :

daryl is head over  heel  , down bad for y/n  but he find that he's unworthy so he's spent years not telling her how he felt and yet is blind to the woman's love for him yet she scared thinking he wont til their friends have enough and try get the two to an overdue confession 

THE BOYS :

BILLY BUTCHER :

You're not wrong but don't mean it ain't right :

He didn't know it could happen not since becca died he never thought his heart could beat for another but instead of letting his heart win , he does everything in his power to push the woman away til he goes too far.

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

X-MEN :

Logan howlett ( wolverine) :

odd one out :

logan's adjusting to new life , new friends only thing he can't put his finger on is wade's friend Y/n , he knows she hiding something and he right but he is so wrong too

Not just a flower child huh? :

the xmen are sent to rescue mutants in a lab , only find an unconscious young woman and couple of kids , when they bring her back to the mansion she is recognised by one of the residents . She awakes and finds out she and kids been saved wondering if it was all too good to be true ?

part one part two

part three part four part five part six

[jackles010378]

Jealous of Baby.....

(Dean winchester x y/n)

Y/n is fed up of Dean spending all his time with his car............

Y/n had always known about Dean's love for his car, affectionately named 'Baby.' It seemed like the two of them were inseparable. Dean would spend countless hours working on her, meticulously detailing every inch, and taking her out for joyrides across the country. Y/n couldn't help but feel a hint of jealousy, as it seemed like Baby always had Dean's undivided attention.

One sunny afternoon, Y/n decided to confront Dean about her feelings. She found him in the garage, engrossed in yet another project, Baby parked nearby looking pristine as ever. Y/n took a deep breath, preparing for the conversation ahead.

"Dean," she began tentatively, "I feel like you spend more time with Baby than you do with me."

Dean looked up from his work, his brows furrowing in confusion. "What? Y/n, Baby is just a car. You know I love you more than anything."

Y/n couldn't hide her skepticism. "Dean, you're always working on her, taking her on hunts, and talking about her nonstop. It's almost like I'm competing for your affection."

Dean stood up, wiping his hands on a rag. "Y/n, Baby is more than just a car to me. She's been there for me through thick and thin, just like you. I appreciate all that you do for me, but Baby holds a special place in my heart."

Feeling a pang of sadness, Y/n questioned, "But how do I know I'm as important to you as she is?"

Dean's expression softened, and he walked over to Y/n, wrapping his arms around her. "Y/n, the love I have for Baby and the love I have for you are two different things, but they both mean the world to me. Just like Baby has been there for me, you have been my rock, my confidant, and my partner in every aspect of life."

Y/n couldn't help but smile, feeling reassured by Dean's words. "But Dean, sometimes it feels like you prioritize Baby over everything else."

Dean took a step back, looking deeply into Y/n's eyes. "I understand why you might feel that way, but the truth is, Baby isn't just about the car itself. She represents a part of my identity, a connection to my past, and my love for the open road. It's not about the time spent, but the emotions behind it."

Y/n nodded, starting to comprehend the depth of Dean's feelings. "So what can I do to feel more included in this part of your life?"

Dean grinned mischievously. "Well, I have an idea. How about you join me on a road trip? Just the two of us, with Baby by our side. I want you to experience the feeling of wind in your hair, the hum of the engine, and the thrill of the open road."

Y/n's eyes widened with excitement. "Really? You'd do that for me?"

Dean nodded, his eyes sparkling. "Absolutely. I want you to understand that the time spent with Baby isn't about pushing you away—it's about sharing something I love with someone I love."

And so, Y/n and Dean embarked on an unforgettable journey together. As they cruised down the highway, laughter and music filling the air, Y/n realized that Dean's love for Baby wasn't a threat to their relationship but rather an extension of it. Dean showed her that their love could encompass his passions, as long as she was by his side.

From that day forward, Y/n understood that Baby wasn't just a car; she was a symbol of Dean's past, his present, and their future. And in the end, their love for each other proved to be stronger than any trace of jealousy that had once lingered.

Written for the JENSEN-A-THON run by @artyandink 💖

TAGLIST: @k-slla @cevansbaby-dove @kaleldobrev @janineb86 @deans-daydream @alternativeprincess94 @nescavaneck @angelbabyyy99

[seeds-and-sins]

Light My Fire - Part Eight

Pairing: Ben "Soldier Boy" x Reader

Rating: M (Crude Language, Curse Words, Sexism, minor references to sex, WARNING: talks about death and self-harm)

Description: Phoenix tries to rectify the missing pieces within herself, but she struggles to figure out how.

Tagged: @tonixe@chernayawidow , @deans-spinster-witchs-favorites, @ophennie@virgoelf-blog , @my-obsession-spn, @capricxnt @demodemo909 @boywivlove

Song: Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac

"FUCK!" Homelander yelled, the tv remote broke in his closed fist. One of the flat screen televisions in the meeting room was set to channel 8 and Starlight was all over the news. Her little video had gone viral, her resignation given, Homelander thrown under the bus, this was all out war. Homelander was fuming, Ashley was gnawing her nails down to the skin, the Deep was posted at one of the chairs around the table, Agnes was sitting a few seats down from him sipping on a cup of coffee.

And you were standing there, arms crossed, staring blankly at the screen.

You were so tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally drained from everything. Just from living really.

When was the last time you slept again?

"Okay!" Ashley squealed, "We'll fix this. We'll fix this. Please. Oh my god! Fuck!" Your eyes slid shut, her panicking died in your ears, the world silenced for a moment.

"Phoenix!" Your eyes shot open, Homelander was staring at you with a look of desperation plastered on his face. "What do we do?" Your hands tightened around your biceps and your teeth dug into your bottom lip. What do we do? More importantly, what should be done?

"We don't have time to worry about Starlight." Your voice came out hoarse, in a low whisper. The room fell quiet. "She has a loyal fan base, but they aren't as loyal as our people. I wouldn't worry about her." Homelander nodded virgorously, licking his lips. The desperation in his boyish eyes faded and what replaced it was a sharp coldness.

"You're right. We've got to find Soldier Boy."

"But we need to make a statement!" Ashley's shrill made you roll your eyes.

"Go take a fuckin' Xanax, Ashley!" You commanded, holding up an admonishing finger. Ashley's lips shut with a resounding pop and she straightened, fear crawled up her spine and glued her to the floor. "I'll talk. I know how to charm a crowd. It'll put this off until we can get shit under control." Your command came out more as a question, Homelander's jaw flicked from side to side before he nodded. "Come on Agnes." The older woman rose from the table without protest, following after your quick strides with a waddle of her own.

...

"Good Evening!" You crowned your fingers and propped them up on the podium. "I appreciate you all being here for this impromptu press conference. Given the situation, I'm sure you know there are a few things that Vought needs to address."

"Where's Homelander?" A journalist shouted from the crowd, flapping his hand above the sea of heads to get Phoenix's attention.

"Homelander is off handling more important matters." The crowd broke out in shouted questions and mixed words, journalists reaching over eachother as they attempted to flag you down. You begrudgingly pointed at a woman in the front row.

"Isn't this important? Starlight has resigned? What is the future of the Seven? Why are you up there when you're not even on the team?" It went silent as everyone waited for a response, or rather, a staccato of responses to answer a staccato of questions. You paused, thought about the significance of your next words, what they would mean. You found a camera and stared into it.

"I want to make myself very clear..." Your voice penetrated the air, the room was thick with the tone that every syllable carried. "Starlight isn't a priority. Everyday Homelander, I, and many other heroes are trying to keep you all safe. We fought overseas so that the super villain threat could be contained. I underestimated the enemy and now the super villain threat is here. Us heroes need to be doing our jobs, not starting petty battles over social media. If Starlight wants to play her games and spread her lies, slander us, she is welcome to do so. But Homelander and I are going to focus on what is important: your safety, your lives."

An intense stillness blanketed the crowd, a few camera flashes. One journalist had the gull to raise their hand, when no one else would, not after a speech like that.

"What are your thoughts on the deathes of the TNT twins? Your former colleagues?"

Good. I'm glad they're dead.

"And your friend? Crimson Countess?" Your head tilted to the other voice, you swallowed and looked down at your fingers.

"Countess wasn't my friend, and neither were the Twins." You shook your head. "Not anymore at least. Not when they turned their backs on..." You paused. Me. -- Ben. "On you. The people. Some of the strongest heroes I knew for their time, and only Noir and I remain. The others worried about their luxury condos, their ratings, movie deals, royalties. None of them cared about what really matters. I don't mourn them. I don't think I ever will."

"But what of Soldier Boy? You were there when he died, did you mourn him?"

"I-" You had to take a deep breath, the emotions that swelled in you had nearly knocked you off your feet. You cleared your throat and held back tears. "I did. I do."

Soldier Boy was still dead to you.

"Soldier Boy died so that all of us could live."

...

 🎶 So I'm back to the velvet underground.  🎶 

 🎶 Back to the floor that I love... 🎶 

Three Xanax, two blunts-going on three-and half a bottle of whiskey later, you found yourself laying on your bed in a mess of comforter and pillows. Your suit was discarded somewhere, leaving you down to nothing but your underwear. And you were just laying there, staring up at the ceiling as you smoked from a blunt and sipped from a bronze filled glass. Your record player sung in the background, mellowing out your already distant mood.

 🎶 To a room with some lace and paper flowers 🎶 

 🎶 Back to the gypsy that I was 🎶 

 🎶 To the gypsy that I was... 🎶 

What did you have?

John?

He kept you around as an extension of himself rather than as someone he cared for. You were the arms of his authority, fingers curled around your enemies with a vice grip. In reverse, he was a reflection of you in many ways, uncaring, erratic, impulsive. You knew he didn't care about you. Not truly. You weren't sure he was capable of it. Maybe with some admiration, some approval, but love was a distant thought in John's head. He only ever craved it from others. And you were more than able to provide in the past, giving pieces of yourself to John without a second thought. Now you had no more pieces left to give.

 🎶 And it all comes down to you. 🎶 

 🎶 And you know that it does when. 🎶 

 🎶 Lightening strikes maybe once maybe twice. 🎶 

Your fans?

You would rather burn them all alive, throw them in a furnace and walk away. They didn't love you. They loved the image of yourself that you fronted, but they didn't know you.

 🎶 Oh and it lights up the night. 🎶 

 🎶 And you see your gypsy (ohh, ohh) 🎶 

 🎶 You see your gypsy. 🎶 

You?

That was all you had. Herodom was a quiet life, a lonely one. But it was never about saving people or doing some good in the world. As much as Starlight thought she was making a difference, the world would never change. There would always be criminals. There would always be greedy politicans and corrupt agents of the law. The world was cold and callous and it never retreated.

And you had nothing.

You were a victim of the chaos. Vought took you in, molded you into something vile and morbid, tossed you around in a bag of salt, and hurled you into the world for their own profit.

You were an experiment.

Your lips wrapped around the end of your blunt and you took a drag. Smoke flowed from your nostrils, it floated up toward the high ceiling and you watched it swirl until it faded completely.

Your head drooped to the side and your face wrinkled as if you were about to cry, before you suppressed that urge.

 🎶 To the gypsy that remains. 🎶 

 🎶 Faces freedom, with a little fear. 🎶 

 🎶 I have no fear, and have only love. 🎶 

 🎶 And if I was a child and the child was enough. 🎶 

 🎶 Enough for me to love. 🎶 

 🎶 Enough to love. 🎶 

Through a blurry haze, your half lidded eyes spotted a figure at the open double doors leading into your bedroom. You shifted a little, squinted, then slowly sat upright.

"Ben?"

He was dressed in his full suit, arms straight at his sides.

"Hello, hot stuff." He answered casually, stepping closer. He sent you a boyish smile that reminded you of his older self, all cocky, all confident, all play, no work.

"What are you-" The blunt dropped from your hand, hitting the marble floor. "What are you doing here?" His eyes darted down your body, hovering over your naked torso a little longer than necessary before raising back to your face.

"You didn't need me?" You dropped your head, a firm hand cupped on your jaw, the touch burned into your skin and your gaze was being directed back to Ben. He felt so real. He felt solid. He felt tangible.

 🎶 She is dancing away from you now (Oooh). 🎶 

 🎶 She was just a wish, she was just a wish (ooh, ooh). 🎶 

 🎶 And her memory is all that is left for you now. 🎶 

"Am I hallucinating?" Your palms rested gently on his chest, Ben's thumb scaled your cheek and he sighed.

"No."

 🎶 You see you're a gypsy. 🎶 

"This is a dream, sweetheart."

"Of course it is," You sniffled.

"You wouldn't be able to hallucinate, even if you wanted." Another voice chimed and when you glanced over, it was Vogelbaum. "Your body can't sustain the affects of foreign substances long enough for that to happen." He was in a bloodied labcoat and his words were slightly muffled through a gas mask. Your expression lit up with panic and your head was being yanked back by Soldier Boy's hand.

"Don't pay attention to that piece of shit." Soldier Boy drew you closer with his other hand at your hip. "Just look at me."

"Why is this happening? Why am I dreaming about this?" You whispered, Ben's hand moved to cradle the back of your head.

"Because I'm the answer." You blinked at him, then tiredly moved into his body. Your arms wrapped around him and you hugged him. Ben enveloped you in return, his strong and bulky arms holding you close...

"You even smell real."

"That's what happens when you smoke a lot of dope."

"Also, the cannabis you were smoking no doubt contained traces of LSD." Vogelbaum again. You squeezed your eyes shut and Soldier Boy grunted when your arms tightened around him.

"Can he just shut up for fucks sake?" Soldier Boy inhaled deeply and he exhaled with a sigh.

"You want my advice?"

"Not really." He grabbed your shoulders and drew you away at arm's length.

"Sometimes you gotta take life by the balls, kid." You blinked at him, your head sinking toward your chest. Soldier Boy rolled his eyes before grabbing under your chin and lifting your head again. "Remember back in the day. We didn't let anybody get in our way. We owned this fuckin' place."

"Oh no." You breathed, your palms rose to your cheeks and Soldier Boy relinquished his hold on you so you could pace away from him. "It's happening. This is it. I'm having the worst mental breakdown of my life. I'm going to destroy the world."

"Only in theory." Vogelbaum piped in again, "Theoretically your body can reach temperatures bordering that of the sun and in that instance-" Soldier Boy's shield came hurtling toward him out of nowhere. The Scientist disappeared in a puff of smoke before the metal could touch him.

"I hate that guy." Soldier Boy's head tilted as he considered you. "Listen..." He emphasized with raised hands. "The only person who understands you right now is me." He stepped toward you, and you hunched in on yourself in defeat."You have me. I'm your answer."

"You're also a figment of my imagination."

"Nah, honey, I'm out there. I'm alive. Come find me."

"You want me dead out there." Soldier Boy's lips quirked up in a handsome smirk and he shook his head.

"But, sweetheart, I don't."

...

When your eyes opened, they opened slowly, the blunt had burnt out in your bed sheet and your body was sprawled out across the bed in all different directions. You blinked at the ceiling, thinking about your dream, thinking about him. The thought left a gross taste in your mouth, your stomach jumped and a weight settled in your chest.

Gosh, you wanted to die sometimes, didn't you?

What was this? What were you doing here?

Why don't you just leave and give all this up? Just like you always wanted.

Because you can't.

You were tired.

It took a few minutes of blank staring before you rose from your bed and travelled out of your room.

"God help me!" You heard a voice exclaim as you entered into the living room. It was Agnes. She made an effort to cover her gaze from your nude figure. And after all these years, she still hadn't gotten used to your ways. You squinted at her, stumbling toward the onset of the kitchen.

"What are you doing here? I told you to leave." Agnes nervously clenched and unclenched her fingers, finally lowering her hand to look at you. Your eyes connected, Agnus' wrinkles creased with a furrowed brow, with concern.

"Homelander wanted me to stay. He's worried about you." You groaned, pouring yourself another glass of whiskey and downing it back with a wince.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." You poured the next glass, sipping from it as you held Agnus' expectant gaze.

"John just wants to make sure I'm on his side." You replied in a dull tone, hunching over the countertop.

"Are you?" You didn't respond. Not immediately. Your eyes flitted around the penthouse and you took in the expanse of space that had been your home for decades.

"Maybe I don't want to be on a side anymore, Agnes." You placed your glass down and stalked over to a wall that held various photos and movie posters and memories from the old days. You scanned each photo, as you had hundreds of times, with a trained eye.

"Please. Tell me what's wrong."

"Everything I do, it doesn't matter." Your eyes paused on a familiar face, and you felt a sadness engulf the entirety of your heart.

He was so good to you. Always trying to comfort you. Always at your side when you needed him.

"Do ya'maybe want to talk about it?"

"No."

You would go find him. That was final. You were sure of it. Screw everyone else. This man. He would be the one you went to. He was the one you needed. He would tell you what you needed to do and he would be genuine. Above all. He would be genuine.

"I'm heading out for a little bit, Agnes. Alone." You took quick steps toward your room.

"Wait, wh-where are you going? Homelander told me to watch you." You didn't respond, turning to close the double doors into your bedroom. At the last glimpse between the cracks, you saw her plop onto the couch with exasperation.

[mlobsters]

You don't know me. You never did. And you never will.

digital painting, 13 hours - drawing video below

tw intimate partner violence under the cut

song: i'm tired by labrinth, zendaya

I was thinking about times when Sam and Dean have hurt each other, physically and not, when under the influence of something or not. I had a rough reaction to this scene. these characters get strangled on a regular basis, but having it done by their loved one, their partner, is another thing. I was choked by a partner too, in my 20s. with time I've come to realize how lucky I was things never escalated beyond that.

something that stood out to me was how Dean isn't fighting back, he's not even gripping Sam's arm tightly. which also made me realize how I didn't fight back either. I've had to sit with that for a while.

painting this let me try to reconcile my own personal history for a bit, and reconcile how Sam and Dean got past a moment like this. and how I didn't recognize the severity of my own experience, and moved past it without any repercussions other than doing everything I could do avoid provoking violence from my partner in the future. their world has the luxury of blaming the influence of demons and the forces of heaven and hell on their actions, and Sam and Dean's lives are submerged in violence. and it's a show, it's up to the writers to pick and choose what events traumatize the characters in any lasting way. this moment was a drop in the bucket.

I debated keeping these thoughts out of the painting post, because I know people don't necessarily want to hear about it, but it's part and parcel to why I drew it and I didn't want to separate the context.

my other spn art

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Love; for the First Time

Summary: Y/N's first time with Dean may reveal other firsts for both of them.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut. Fingering, Thigh Riding, oral (m/f receiving), hint of overstimulation, virgin!reader, age gap, loss of virginity, unprotected P in V sex, fluff, angst if you squint, Dean being the sexiest motherfucker ever.

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Y/N

Word Count: 3,843

A/N: Okay, so here is the Masterlist for the whole First Time Series even though it's not a traditional series. But the stories are definitely more enjoyable if they're read together/in order. But if it's your preference, you can still read them on their own. I've started this one with a small excerpt (in italics) from the last part, since the story picks up exactly where it left off.

A/N 2: For all intents and purposes, this is the final chapter of this little one shot series. But I have a tendency to revisit my couples, so I may return to them in the future, you never know. But for now, I hope you've enjoyed this slightly odd "series" that isn't really a series. Lol!

The beautiful divider at the bottom was made by @talesmaniac89

“Please Dean.” She begged, dropping her forehead to his shoulder and rocking herself back and forth on his thigh. “I need you. I need…need…”

Dean tipped her chin up so she was looking at him again. “What do you need, Y/N? Say it.”

Her stomach clenched tight at the look of fierce desire on his face; she knew it was only echoing her own expression. With all the boldness he’d taught her and all the confidence he’d instilled in her, she lowered her hand to cup the hard bulge behind his zipper making him grit his teeth and growl.

“I need you, Dean. I need all of you. I need you to fill me up. I need you to touch me and make me crazy. I need you to make love to me. I’m ready.” She ground down against his thigh again, and her voice was ragged. 

“I’m so ready.”

Y/N watched Dean’s eyes darken, and his jaw clench. His voice was low and ragged, desire making it rough. But his words were reassuring, kind, loving - as they always were.

“Are you sure, sweetheart? You know there’s no rush, no pressure. I can make you feel good, make you fall apart, get you to scream my name even without going all the way.” He said the last with a grin, but his eyes still burned.

Y/N smiled and kissed him, commanding and controlling the kiss, so that Dean hummed in a tone of surprise. She pulled out of the kiss and rolled her hips, grinding down against his thigh again, catching her bottom lip in her teeth as pleasure shot through her body. She continued to ride his thigh, hips rolling, as she spoke breathlessly. 

“I know you can, Dean, and I wanna take anything and everything you give me. But I wanna…” She leaned her forehead against his and stared deep into his emerald eyes so he’d know she meant it. “I also wanna give you me. All of me.”

She shook her head. “I’m not afraid, I’m not scared or nervous. I’m just on fire, and I need you, more than I’ve ever needed anything - more than breath.” She rolled her hips against him again, hard and desperate, bunching her hands in his dark gray Henley, and speaking against his plump lips. “Make me breathless, Dean.”

She exhaled into his mouth, and ran her tongue along his bottom lip. Dean growled and then captured her mouth, plunging his tongue deep inside, nearly reaching the back of her throat. She whimpered slightly and his hands tightened at her waist. His mouth and hands flew across her skin. He pushed her shirt up over her head, tossing it to the ground before he dipped his head and nipped at the puckered bud of her nipple through her lacy bra.

Seconds later, he flicked open the hooks at her back, and ripped the garment from her body. His hands slid up from her waist, passing over her sides and then spanning her upper back so he could hold her in place against his mouth. He laved her breast with his wide tongue, before sucking on it deeply, and causing her to let out a harsh groan.

With her head thrown back she wrapped her arms around his neck and rode his thigh, drenching his jeans through her panties, her denim skirt now bunched around her hips. Dean moved one hand down from her back, shoving it between their bodies, and pushing her sodden, cotton panties against her sensitive clit, making her cry out again.

“God, Dean.” She rasped out. “Uhn, please, please.” She chanted into his ear. “I need you.” She repeated. Dean shifted to her other breast and bit gently into the soft flesh, making Y/N shout out in surprised ecstasy, and dig her nails into his back muscles, rippling beneath the dark cotton of his Henley.

“Dean!” His name was just a keening moan, and she felt him harden even more beneath her; his cock straining behind his zipper. It must have been painful but, ignoring his body’s rigid heat, he pulled away from her breast, and set his big hands on her cheeks to pull her into a kiss that once again left her breathless.

He shifted in the seat, scooping her into his arms, so he was holding her like a bride as he rose from the chair and walked slowly down the hall towards his room.

When he got there, he set her on her feet, and turned on the light. He wasted no time in shedding his clothes. She watched intently as inch after tantalizing inch of his skin was exposed to her hungry gaze, until he was naked and glorious in front of her. His cock was tall and thick, resting against his stomach and Y/N bit her lip, unable to look away. 

She wasn’t scared, she trusted Dean completely, but she was curious, because he simply seemed too big to fit into her body. Where was he going to go?

Dean’s voice was gravelly and tight. “Do you want to touch me, baby? You can if you want.”

Y/N nodded and then caught his eye; his expression said he was holding himself in check. His jaw ticked, and his muscles were strained, his fists clenching and unclenching at his side. She walked forward and reached out her hand to wrap it around his cock. He hissed and then groaned as she rubbed her thumb across the slit that topped the head of his cock. As she pressed there, a bead of white bloomed and then dripped down over his velvety skin. She circled her thumb around his spongy head, spreading out the slightly sticky liquid evenly.

Experimentally, she tightened her grip slightly and slid her hand up and down his erection. Dean’s hips bucked forward, seemingly of their own accord, and the hot, hard shaft in her hand throbbed, making her mouth run dry.

She continued to explore his body, running her hands over all his skin, and moving behind him to pet and massage all the beautiful muscles that rippled there. Feeling bold and encouraged, she ran her hand over his plump backside, squeezing it as she walked back around to the front of him. It was firm but giving beneath her hand and the feel of it made her heart race.

As she looked back up into his eyes, she reached forward once again to grip his cock, entranced as she watched a vein bulge in his neck as he strained hard, desperately keeping himself in check while she touched him all she wanted. She shook her head in awe.

“You’re so unbelievably beautiful, Dean.” She leaned forward, his dick still throbbing in her hand, and pressed feathery kisses across his chest. She looked up at him from beneath her lashes. “So, beautiful.”

Dean smiled warmly even as she felt his heart pounding beneath her lips. “I pale in comparison, sweetheart.” He said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. Y/N smiled shyly and stepped away from him to shed her jeans and panties. She stood before him naked, and the blatant want and desire she saw in his face made her body glow.

She took up his hand and then pulled him after her. She turned to face him, walking backwards towards the bed.

“Make love to me, Dean? Please. Please show me everything.” She pulled his other hand into hers and placed them both on her breasts. She arched into his hands, and wrapped her fingers around his thick wrists. “I’ve wanted you for so long. I’m so grateful for your patience, for your good heart, and for the way you make me feel so safe.”

She ducked her head. “Maybe this isn’t the right time to tell you, but…I love you, Dean.” She looked up into his unfathomable gaze and admitted the truth. “I’ve loved you for a very long time.”

He didn’t respond immediately, and Y/N wanted him to understand something. “Please don’t think you have to love me back. I don’t want to scare you or pressure you. But everything here in this place, between us, has been based on truth, on saying what we feel, and leaving no space for lies. So…I just felt I owed you the truth.”

Dean’s expression clouded over for a moment, a deep furrow settling on his forehead, making a line appear between his brows. He reached out to run his knuckles gently down her cheek, shaking his head.

“It’s such a bad idea to love me, sweetheart.” She saw fear spark in his expression before he stepped closer and cupped his hand under her jaw. He pressed his thumb to her bottom lip and closed his eyes.

“But I won’t lie to you here either.” He opened his eyes and bent his head forward to pull her top lip into his mouth and suck at it gently. He let it go and dropped his forehead to hers, letting their breath mingle for a minute more before he spoke, so softly she almost couldn’t make out the words.

“I love you, Y/N, all of you and completely.” He shuddered slightly and the fear entered his voice this time. “It scares the shit out of me, and I need to warn you that there might always be a part of me that’ll be sure I’m gonna lose you.”

Y/N tried to speak at that, but he pressed a finger to her lips and shook his head. “No, it’s okay, sweetheart. I’m just telling you because…well, because no lies, right?” He shrugged. “I’ll work it out. And every day you're here beside me will be one more day to push away the fear.”

She nodded and tears sparkled on her lashes before spilling over. This moment was more than she’d ever hoped for, and as Dean settled his hands on her hips and pulled her against him, she felt the heady combination of love and want, lust and tenderness wash over her, making her dizzy. 

Dean ran his hands over the swell of her hips and down over her backside before he wrapped one arm around her waist and reached his other hand between her legs from behind, pressing gently at her entrance and making her legs give out. If he hadn’t been holding on to her, she would have melted into the floor. 

She threw her head back and let out a guttural moan as he eased his thick finger inside her. Dean took advantage of her exposed neck to lay a trail of blistering kisses across her skin. He licked and nipped at her pulse and Y/N felt like she might burst into flames as she rode his hand. She instinctively lifted her leg up to wrap around his hip so that he could sink further into her body. He added a second finger and pushed them both in deeper, pumping them faster, as she clung to his neck and panted, dewy and warm across the tattoo on his chest.

He scissored her open on his fingers, stretching her with a pleasurable burn, before pressing his fingers back together and pushing hard on the sweet spot inside her, the spot that made her see stars, and nearly pass out from pleasure. He pressed it repeatedly, until her thighs trembled and she clenched hard around his fingers, ripples of rapture spreading out across her body.

She fell, boneless, against him, and he scooped her up again to lay her out on the bed. Instead of laying beside her as he’d done in the past, though, he climbed onto the end of the bed, shuffling forward so that he knelt between her feet. He let his fingers trail lightly over her soft curls, and caught her eye.

“I wanna kiss you,” he dipped his middle finger into her folds, causing Y/N to lick her lips, her breathing picking up, “I wanna kiss you, here.” The rough pad of his finger pressed against her clit and Y/N raised her hips, trying to get more friction. But he pulled his hand back and simply stroked her sex, giving her only a tiny bit of pressure when she desperately wanted more.

“Can I kiss you there, Y/N? Can I taste you? I wanna see the view from between your thighs when you come. I wanna take you apart and feel you explode on my tongue. Want you to dribble your juices down my chin. Say yes - tell me I can devour you.”

Y/N listened to the heated, intimate, and arousing words that were dripping from his lips and all she could do was nod, and croak out her agreement. “Yes. Yes.” She said quickly.

“Good girl.” Dean said warmly, rubbing the delicate skin of her pussy, and scratching his blunt fingernails through her curls. 

He sank down onto his stomach, and his face disappeared from her view just seconds before she felt him lick a stripe, wet and messy, through her folds. She let out a completely shocked shout, having no time to recover from the unexpected delight of his talented tongue, before he was pulling her bundle of nerves between his lips and sucking lightly.

This time she screamed and clawed at his shoulders. It took him less than thirty seconds to rip her second orgasm out of her. But he didn’t stop there. He took her over the edge again and again, sucking, licking, nibbling at her sensitive flesh. The blankets and bedsheets beneath her were drenched and completely twisted from her thrashing body.

But Dean never slowed. His tongue speared her, it twisted in circles around her clit, the tip flicking back and forth against her. He pushed his fingers into her welcoming body once again, continuing to stretch her, pushing in a third finger slowly, inch by inch while his tongue licked patterns into her tender flesh. He did take her apart as he said he would, over and over. It wasn’t until she was a shaking mess, her body quivering and her throat raw from her shouts of bliss, that he finally moved his body up hers, settling his hips between her legs.

She could feel his heavy cock resting against her slick folds as he leaned on his forearms, his strong arms on either side of her shoulders, keeping her safe under his weight and within the shelter of his arms. He pushed her sweaty hair from her forehead and then trailed his forefinger down the bridge of her nose and then over her parched lips.

She opened her mouth and sucked on the tip of it, before she let it go to smile at him. “You know,” she told him quietly, creakily, “the first time I ever saw you, I remember thinking that your hands looked so strong, like they could keep me safe.” She reached up to take his hand, and pressed all four fingers to her lips.

She shook her head, her eyes shining. “I had no idea just how right I was.”

Dean nodded. “I will always, always do whatever I have to, to keep you safe. I swear it.”

Y/N felt a tear slip down her cheek, happiness bubbling over. Dean sipped it from her skin, and then moved to kiss her, soft and sweet. He took hold of his cock and slid it through her slick; the contact with her overly sensitive clit had her biting her lip and pressing her head back into the pillow. 

Dean kissed the underside of her jaw, and spoke softly. “Keep your eyes on me, baby.” She looked at him, her eyes unfocused with lust. “I need to know how you’re doing.” She felt the spongy tip of his cock press bluntly against her entrance. “No matter what, if you need me to stop, I’ll stop, okay?” 

Dean’s voice was strained and his muscles were tense with unreleased tension and power, but she didn’t doubt him for a second; so she nodded to tell him that she was good. “I’m good, Dean.” She pushed her heels into the backs of his thighs urging him forward. “Please, come into me.” 

Dean groaned at that, and pushed forward.

Y/N felt herself stretch as he moved into her; there was a mostly pleasant burn as he opened her wide. He entered her slowly, giving her body plenty of time to adjust to him. She could feel the way his muscles vibrated with his restraint. As he finally sank into her to the hilt, he groaned savagely and buried his face in her neck.

“Fuck, fuck.” He mumbled. “You’re paradise, sweetheart. Hot, wet, paradise.” 

Y/N chuckled softly. She knew the feeling. Having Dean joined with her so intimately, to be so stuffed full of him, to feel him throbbing deep inside her, did indeed feel like heaven. She couldn’t imagine anything feeling better. 

Then he moved.

He moved slowly and shallowly, pulling back barely an inch and then pushing forward again. Again the stretch of him burned, but the friction of his hard cock gliding over her pulsing core walls made fire explode in her body. She wanted more, she wanted him harder, deeper.

He moved slightly again, easing her body open carefully, slowly carving a path for more vigorous movements as he slid out further every time. Until he was pulling out all but the tip before rocking his hips forward languidly. He gritted his teeth against his need to slam into her, trying desperately not to hurt her. 

But thrust by thrust, Y/N was losing any need for gentleness. It stung a bit, but she didn’t care, she needed him to ram into her body, she needed to feel him so deep, he’d leave an imprint, brand her, mark her. 

“Please, Dean. H-h-harder.” She gasped out. “Please!” She begged.

Following her urging he pulled out almost completely and then slammed himself back into her so deep she felt as though he was breaking her in half. But still she didn’t care. She wanted him to break her.

“Dean!” She shouted, her throat raw and scratchy, “Break me open!” She cried, half insane from her unfulfilled desire. But Dean heard the desperation in her tone, and knew it matched his own. So, he began to jackhammer his cock into her hot, dripping, body, watching her closely as her climax built and then exploded across her face. Her nails dug hard into his sides where she gripped him, and he shouted out his pain and pleasure, as he continued to ram into her with abandon. 

He was vaguely aware that she came again as he pounded into her body one last time, spurting into her, hot and thick. It felt like his orgasm wouldn’t end. He just kept shuddering and thrusting, pumping more and more ropes and of cum into her tight, clenching heat.

Finally his muscles gave way and he landed heavily on top of her. He meant to move off of her, but before he could muster the energy, she wrapped her legs tighter around his thighs, and her arms around his torso, keeping him where he was - head pillowed on her breast, listening to her hammering heart slow down in sync with his own. 

They laid that way for a long time, basking in the aftermath. Finally Dean worried he was crushing her, so he very reluctantly rolled off of her and out of her body. Y/N made a incoherent complaint that ended when he pulled her across his chest. They both dozed for a while, replete and more at peace than either of them could ever remember feeling.

Eventually they roused, Y/N kissing Dean’s chest as she drifted in and out of consciousness before finding his nipple and licking. Dean woke fully and growled, so Y/N woke too, and began to nibble his skin. And they began again.

They turned to each other two more times in the night. The last time, Y/N was too sore to take Dean inside again, so he just feasted on her instead, licking her soothingly, and undulating his tongue against the abused entrance to her body, dulling the throbbing there while still increasing her pleasure until she came on his tongue. 

Then he taught her how to take him into her mouth, how to suck him tightly, and how to pleasure him with her tongue. As his climax crested, he tried to pull away so he wouldn’t explode in her mouth, but Y/N wouldn’t let him, trying to swallow him down completely. She came close, licking her lips and scooping up what slid down her chin.

The whole night was spent in intervals of fierce rapture and idyllic tranquility. It was the most beautiful and soul-fulfilling thing that had ever happened to either of them. 

When they eventually fell asleep for good, they slept straight through until one o’clock in the afternoon. Dean woke up first, a delicious kind of ache in his muscles causing him to stretch long, and groan deep, rousing Y/N with his movements. Being unaccustomed to such vigorous night time activities, her body ached more, and her pussy was raw and tender. She hissed as Dean cupped a hand over her gently. 

Contrition shone in his eyes. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m gonna go run you a bath, and we’re gonna make that feel better.” Y/N nodded, but pulled his mouth down to hers for a long, passionate kiss. 

They were gasping as she pulled away and grinned at him. “It was worth every owie.”

Dean grinned back and then began to get up, but Y/N sat up and pulled him back down beside her. She smiled at him, a little shy, but beaming. 

“Dean, I meant every word I said last night. And it was an absolutely perfect first time, I couldn’t have asked for anything more incredible.”

Dean smiled back and brushed his lips across hers. “Me too, sweetheart, me too.”

Y/N giggled lightly. “It was your first time too?” She said, pretending astonishment.

Dean chuckled, and then shook his head, his face becoming more serious. “It was actually.”

Y/N frowned at him, still smiling. “What?” she asked in confusion.

Dean looked down at his lap for a moment before looking back into her eyes. “It was the first time I’ve ever slept with someone…someone I love.” He blushed slightly, and Y/N couldn’t believe what she was seeing; her confident, sexy hunter looked shy and unsure for once. 

He cleared his throat. “First time I was with someone that I plan on making a life with.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure exactly how this goes now.”

Y/N smiled widely and climbed into his lap to wrap her arms around his neck. “Well, looks like we have tons of firsts to explore together then.” She kissed him softly and then smiled against his lips.

“First time for everything, after all.”

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman @mimi-luvzyu

2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only. @carryonwaywardgirl

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous

[jensenscomedyelbows]

edit by the amazing and talented and generous @lemondropsonice

SPN FIC REC FEST #11

All-Time Favorites/Free Recs

The only pairing is Wincest

Most are explicit, but those that aren’t are marked accordingly.

THE FIREFLY THAT LOVED METALLICA by fleshflutter

Rated R, but WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH/RESURRECTION. I passionately adore this indescribably poignant story. Get tissues.

LIKE STARING INTO THE SUN by nyxocity

It was never about the girls. It was about them.

A new OFC in each part, until there are no more FCs at all and it’s just them.

There is also a sequel, linked to the original

RUN IT ALL OVER (THE WEST SERIES) by runawaydr3amer

I LOVE this series with a passion not too dissimilar from Sam and Dean’s for each other

When you live a life like theirs, chasing tail isn't always an option. But sometimes you just want someone to touch your dick, and your brother’s hand is as good as any.

THE LAST OUTPOST OF ALL THAT IS by gekizetsu

I’m sure this will end up on multiple lists during this event, as it’s a fandom classic that everyone loves. I don’t even want to try to describe it. 60K words. Casefic. First time. I think there’s some H/C. Beautiful. So so sad. Joy amidst the wreckage and heartache. I love it so much I should probably get the title tattooed on my body somewhere

NOT FOR SAMSON IN THE TEMPLE by maygra-fic

Coda to my all time favorite, see above. You have to read that one first to truly appreciate how this coda maintains the tone, voice, and prose quality. You feel like it’s from the same author, but surprise! it’s not, and that’s remarkable. Mature Sam and Dean. Elderly Sam and Dean

THE GHOST OF SOMEBODY AT HIS SIDE by runedgirl

Prepare to weep. When I need pain, this one guarantees I’ll get it. Author Description: The night before Sam Winchester meets with his 12th grade guidance counselor for the second time, something very bad happens. One of those somethings that takes only a ridiculously short amount of time – in this case, about three minutes – yet manages to change the course of two lives forever. Or: Sam goes to Stanford, and takes most of Dean's heart with him.

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE by Morgan

This one just…stuck with me. The events that unfold are awful for Dean in particular, but I’m sure it wasn’t a great time for Sam, either. Bobby makes an appearance. Angst for daaaaays, and NON CON/DUB CON warning is red-flag-level. Author Description: Sam loses his mind. It's that simple. Dean doesn't know what to do, but he's not going to walk away from this, he's never backed down in all his life. If you're looking for happy endings, don't come here. This shit is dark.

THE SILENCE OF A SUMMER DAY by wanttobeatree

***Everyone who loves the Winchesters should read this amazing future fic***

Rated PG. The world has moved on. This is their legacy. Haha, yes, of course I’m recommending this one again. No sex whatsoever! Weird, right?!?!

@spnficrecfest

RESTRAINT by DarkEmeralds

Free rec. Rated M. 200k+ words. It's not Spn or Wincest or even J2, not really. I guess it’s technically a J2 AU. I’m sneaking it in here because it’s an all-time favorite of mine. This might not be your cup of tea, fanfic wise. I certainly didn’t think it was mine. But but but…it’s absolutely lovely, it’s extremely well-written, the tone/voice/verbiage is accurate for its time, and it has a happy ending that made me cry HAPPY tears when I was finished. If you like historical romance, you’ll like this. It’s set in Regency England! Author Description: The calling card said Tristan Jarrett, Viscount Penrith. Beneath that, in a lazy scrawl, was the addendum Mr Acklebury, be so good as to wait on me tomorrow, number 10, Half Moon Street. Yours, &c., Penrith. Mr Acklebury was not sure how he felt about being thus summarily commanded to paint his lordship's portrait.

[raspberryslxt]

Dean Winchester x Vampire!Reader PART 2

-

warning: slight smut

-

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the motel parking lot as Dean paced back and forth outside their room. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, his heart still racing from the encounter with Y/N. He couldn't shake the memory of her lips on his, the way she had ignited a fire within him that he couldn't contain.

Inside the room, Sam was busy researching their next hunt, oblivious to Dean's inner turmoil. But Dean couldn't focus on the case – not when his thoughts were consumed by Y/N. He knew he should keep his distance, that getting involved with a vampire hunter was a bad idea. But try as he might, he couldn't resist the pull she had on him.

Just as Dean was about to lose his mind, he heard a knock at the door. His heart leaped in his chest as he hurried to answer it, hoping against hope that it was Y/N. And sure enough, when he swung the door open, there she stood – a vision in black leather and attitude.

"Hey, Winchester," she greeted with a smirk, leaning against the doorframe.

Dean couldn't help but grin in return, his pulse quickening at the sight of her. "Well, if it isn't my favorite vampire hunter. What brings you here?"

Y/N stepped into the room, her eyes locking with Dean's as she sauntered closer. "Just thought I'd drop by and see how my favorite hunter is doing."

Dean's heart skipped a beat at the implication in her words, his mind racing with possibilities. Before he could respond, Y/N closed the distance between them, pressing her body against his as she captured his lips in a heated kiss.

Dean moaned into the kiss, his hands finding purchase on her hips as he pulled her closer. He could feel the heat radiating off her body, the scent of her filling his senses as he lost himself in her embrace.

They stumbled backward, falling onto the bed in a tangle of limbs and desire. Dean's hands roamed eagerly over Y/N's body, memorizing every curve and contour as he kissed her hungrily. She responded in kind, her nails digging into his skin as she pulled him closer.

Their clothes soon became a hindrance, and with fevered urgency, they stripped each other bare, their bodies flush against one another as they gave in to their primal desires. Dean lost himself in the sensation of Y/N's skin against his, the taste of her on his lips as they moved together in a rhythm as old as time itself.

Their lovemaking was raw and passionate, each touch igniting a fire that burned hotter with every passing moment. Dean felt like he was on the edge of oblivion, lost in a sea of sensation as Y/N brought him to the brink again and again.

And when they finally collapsed in a tangled heap of limbs and sweat, Dean knew that he was irrevocably bound to her – body, heart, and soul.

As they lay there, basking in the afterglow of their passion, Dean couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over him. He knew that their relationship was anything but conventional, that there would be challenges and obstacles along the way. But in that moment, all he cared about was the woman lying beside him – the woman who had captured his heart in a way he never thought possible.

He pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, his fingers tracing lazy patterns across her skin as he whispered words of love and devotion. And as they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, Dean knew that no matter what the future held, they would face it together – bound by blood, bound by love.

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

There's this thing that I see over and over that just... well, it rubs me the wrong way and I want to throw my two cents out there about it.

People get so mad about Dean dying at the end of the series the way he did because they think that he got robbed of something. Or maybe it's because they feel robbed of it and are projecting that onto Dean. Because what I see is folks upset thinking Dean didn't get to live the rest of his life, that he didn't get a picket fence, apple pie ending and I gotta say, I fundamentally disagree that Dean missed out on anything.

None of us are ever promised a long life. Our lives will only ever be the length they are. No future is guaranteed except that we will each die in the end. The loss of what could have been is not something for the dead, it's the burden of the living who are trying to cope with their grief. The fact that Dean made it into his 40's is literally a miracle since he died for the first time in his 20's. He wasn't robbed of years, he was given more of them, over and over and over, he was given more years.

And Dean was happy with his life at the end there. He had his brother happily riding shotgun as they continued saving people and hunting things. They got to do all the fun stupid stuff they wanted, like go to little hyper-specific small town festivals and eat obscene amounts of pie, and they got to do it together. Dean was truly happy. And no, he didn't end up with a romantic partner, a wife and kids, but he didn't need that. The entire point of the end of the show is that you can have a truly fulfilling and happy ending without romantic love being a part of it.

That's what Castiel's ending was about too. Cas was truly happy, enough to trigger his deal coming due with the Empty, with just knowing and understanding what he felt. He didn't need Dean to reciprocate, because it wasn't at all about Dean's feelings, it was just about Castiel's, it was about knowing and accepting yourself for who you are and finding happiness in that.

Dean had Sam with him right up until the end. And Sam was happy. All Dean ever really needed was for his brother to be safe, and all he ever really wanted was for his brother to be happy, and to actually get to have him be happy while choosing to hang out, day in, day out, with him??? That was the absolute best.

Now, I'm not getting into Sam's portion of the ending because it's messier and complicated and I don't have the spoons for it right now.

But romantic love isn't the only way to be fulfilled or to be truly happy even though the vast, overwhelming majority of the stories we are told insist that those things are essential to happiness. But, they just aren't, not always. So to have a story this epic end without any of the characters in romantic relationships, but all of them being truly happy when it's all said and done is epically good, in and of itself.

[happilyfeatherafter]

Happilyfeatherafter’s ficrec Fridays

Happy Dean Winchester's 45th birthday week, and happy Friday! I was absolutely blown away by everyone's incredible posts for Dean this week, you guys. It made me all emotional.

Back with my fourth week of fics I've read and loved recently. If you missed last week’s you can find my previous rec lists here for more!

26 January 2024

american oracle by @handsliketruth and whiskeyjuniper (@satinsolace) I spent all last Sunday reading this one and it was such an immersive experience! An earthquake shakes something loose in the bunker, seemingly trapping Dean, Cas and Sam inside with it as they attempt to fix what's gone wrong, only the bunker isn't going to make it easy for them! Super creepy, twisty, reality bending and really beautifully, unsettlingly written. Whatever's happened is messing with their minds, and the creeping horror of real or not real persists, but even through that the Dean and Cas of it are really fascinating in how they navigate their intense feelings for each other. I was also incredibly impressed with how the effects of canon wrapping up were woven into the plot in such a powerfully potent way, exploring fate, free will, and the future. Really a stand out (and I know a lot of you have been reading it because I found this fic open in no less than three separate tabs in my bookmarks when I came to read it myself. So adding one more rec to the pile!)

Slouching Towards Bethlehem by @norahastuff (art by @logsdrawsthings) is a brilliant and seamlessly written missing conversations DCBB fic set in seasons 4 and 5. The dialogue is so on point for that era Dean and Cas, at times I had to remind myself what came from the show and what was brand new. As they navigate their way towards the apocalypse, and Cas watches over Dean in reality and in dreams, it seems hard to find solace. But in getting to know one another better, they both question their parts in the grand plan, and also find peace, connection, and company in their deepening bond.

A Fic About Dean’s 45th Birthday by @scoobydoodean both does exactly what it says on the tin AND made me cry lol. After Mrs Butters plants the seed in his head that he's too old to celebrate his birthday, Dean gets a little upset, but he doesn't let on to anyone. The poor man just wants to be appreciated and celebrated on his birthday! But he feels guilty about causing a fuss, and anyway, he can still show his love through making sure everyone else's days are marked for the occasion. But on his 45th, his family is acting a little suspicious, and they seem to want him to stay away. Angsty, sweet, give that man his krispy treats!!!! Check out Dean with Scoobies.

found it here in your love by nevernevergirl (@yorkesteins) is another Dean's birthday ficlet, but taking a 180 spin on it. Cas has plans. LOTS of plans. Dean deserves to be celebrated. But some pesky snow has derailed Cas' thoughtfulness, and despite his best intentions he's awfully upset about letting Dean down. "In which learning to live your life after nearly two decades of saving the actual world is a process. They're doing it together, though." Sweet, domestic, heartwarming love (even when there's a tantrum involved.)

Plus shout out to @angelsdean's I spy Dean's birthday game, @dean-isms's birthday party watchlist, and ALL of the incredible fic, art, AMVs and edits you made. TALENT.

[swordofsun]

@scoobydoodean had been posting about 4x17 It's A Terrible Life and it's reminded me of one of my favorite overlooked bits in the episode and how it shows that Zachariah is just wrong about Dean.

Zachariah's whole theory with this little experiment is that Dean will choose hunting.

ZACHARIAH To prove to you that the path you're on is truly in your blood. You're a hunter. Not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from hell, but because it is what you are. And you love it. You'll find your way to it in the dark every single time and you're miserable without it. Dean, let's be real here. You're good at this. You'll be successful. You will stop it.

But Dean has expressly denied hunting already at the end of the last act:

SAM Look, all I know is this isn't who we're supposed to be. DEAN No. I'm Dean Smith, okay? Director of Sales and Marketing. I went to Stanford. My father's name is Bob, my mother's name is Ellen, and my sister's name is Jo. SAM When was the last time you talked to them? To any of them? DEAN Okay, you're upset. You're upset, you're confused— SAM Yeah, 'cause I only moved here 'cause I just broke up with my fiancée, Madison. But I called her number and I got a damn animal hospital. DEAN Okay. What are you saying? Are you trying to say that my family isn't real? Huh? That we've been injected with fake memories? Come on. SAM All I know is, I got this feeling in my gut. And I know—I know that deep down, you gotta be feeling it too. We're supposed to be something else. You're not just some corporate douchebag. This isn't you. I know you. DEAN Know me? You don't know me, pal. You should go. SAM leaves.

Sam tried to get Dean to drop everything and go hunting. They stopped a ghost! It was fun! They could do this, but Dean's not going to give up his life for it. Dean has no intention of turning his life upside down to start hunting and it's not until Zachariah lays out one of the most depressing 10 year plan ever:

ADLER Positive. You are Sandover material, son. Real go-getter. Carving your own way. DEAN Well, thanks. I try. ADLER I see big things in your future. Maybe even senior VP, Eastern Great Lakes Division. Don't get me wrong, you'll have to work for it. Seven days a week, lunch at your desk, but in eight to ten short years, that could be you. DEAN takes off his headset. DEAN Uh, well, thank you. Thank you, sir. It's, um...but... DEAN passes the paper back. DEAN I am giving my notice.

He's already the director of marketing and sales and his career plan is 10 years of nothing but work to make VP of a division? Probably a small division? Everyone would quit with that laid out. Maybe not as directly as Dean does, but yeah, they'd be going home and revamping the resume. That's a dead end career path you'd have to bust your ass and give up your life for.

Hearing that and going "hmm, maybe I take some time and check out that hunting thing with that Wesson guy. He was less creepy once we started working on the haunting, for the most part" is actually a pretty normal thing to do.

And really Zachariah doesn't even give him the chance to go find Sam. Because there's actually a good chance Dean gets home and after thinking about it he just updates his resume and LinkedIn. He had to give Dean back his memories in that exact moment in order to try and leverage the situation to his advantage.

Zachariah stacked the deck and still barely managed to get Dean to quit his job. Dean wasn't running to hunting with open arms. He was, at best, looking at it as a more viable option than the shitty 10 year plan Mr. Adler just laid out. And Zachariah couldn't wait for him to actually choose hunting, he had to strike before Dean could second guess himself.

(Even Sam is making the choice between IT support call center or ghost hunting. This isn't hard.)

4x17 Transcript

[locke-esque-monster]

For all that "Criss Angel is a Douche Bag" is not the best episode of Supernatural, it is an interesting one. The bleak moral implications of the ending aside, the juxtaposition between Sam's and Dean's views is so worth digging into.

Because first you have Sam, who now that he's embraced he's a hunter now, doesn't necessarily want to do this forever. And he's got sort of a idealized version of it, that if he can get the worst of the evil taken out (Lilith) maybe he could go back to a more normal life. It's so John-coded. That they both only enter the life because of a tragedy and revenge, when they were perfectly happy living a regular life prior to that. And once their version of the mission is over, they have this dream they could just settle down and be normal. They're either intensely in the life (no friends, no settling anywhere too long like how John passed onto Sam and Sam onto Goul!Adam in 4x19), or intensely not in the life (Stanford!Sam) and there's literally no middle ground. No flexibility. For all that Sam has shades of gray when it comes to people/monsters, it shows how much he's like John with how how he structures his hunting life. And to a degree, how sheltered he is to think in way compared to Dean.

Because Dean isn't so idealized to think that hunting is something you can stop. He's watched revenge tear John and Sam apart. And while he wants revenge, he internalized that if there's evil to fight and people he could save, then they should be out there, more than John or Sam did. (Maybe because of the hurt he experienced as losing Mary and losing OG John, and he never wants anyone else to go through that.) That it's a fairy tale to think that taking out the big bad means that hunting is over. It's unclear if Sam thinks that taking Lilith down will be such a big blow that hunting won't be as necessary (because they'll be few enough monsters per remaining hunters that they could hunt little to not at all). Or if his personal responsibility to hunting will be over, and other hunters are out there to save people, but that's no longer his problem. But Dean is not so naïve to think that he could fully settle down knowing there's people dying that he could save. Or that he is he stays in the life he's not going to be hands on and reckless (or at least with low enough value of his own life over others) that it won't eventually get him killed (again). It's such disconnect between Sam's optimism and Dean's pessimism towards hunting. And it's interesting in the context of how the rest of the series goes with that mindset in mind, even chipping away at it slightly at times. That Dean tries to settle with a woman that knows about hunting so he can keep her safe openly. While Sam does settle down again with Amelia and treats hunting as an old part of his life he'll never address again, like Jess all over again, but goes back when Dean returns without a tragic revenge story. That Dean is willing to settle down in the bunker, because if you're going to hunt you take the joys in life where you can, nice kitchen, having a room full of creature comforts (also not surprising when Dean had to take his joys where he could get them when he never had the childhood Sam had). And Sam does settle in the bunker, but because his dial is stuck on either a hunting/not hunting setting, he never decorates his room, like he can't quite settle in and accept this is home and permanent.

Now a good ending to SPN would have fully contradicted Dean's statement in this episode about expecting to die young because there's no happy future growing old. And contradicted Sam's dread at ending up old and alone like Jay if he stayed in the life (because you can't tell me blurry wife and Dean jr is all the companionship Sam needs). But that's a whole different "tripping at the finish line" kind of conversation about the finale.

[maxwell-grant]

so with the show gone, what's your headcanon on the ventures's future? have the creators mentioned anything about it?

A few things in passing but not too much. Namely just that Dean is gonna lose his hair and that Hank will eventually step foot in Mars as an adventurer. I think Doc and Jackson said as much that they want to keep the door open for future stories in case they do get to come back, and that they'll always have new things they'll want to do, but anyway yes okay, post-show headcanons:

Doc burns through Jonas Jr's fortune and for the most part remains the same, but he eventually achieves a true breakthrough of his own: a permanent solution to hair loss. It comes with a few little side effect mutations but for the most part it does work and Doc is, reasonably pretty happy that for once he gets something to his name that he actually made and isn't something horrible done to him. "Reasonably happy" is as happy as Rusty is ever allowed to get, and he dies a few weeks later by something predictably stupid, like auto-erotic asphyxiation.

It's shitty, Dr Orpheus cries over it, but everyone kinda saw it coming.

Most of Doc's assets get seized and the boys actually don't get much, he forgot to put them in the will because he made it back when he still had the clone farm. Rusty's last wish is to be cremated so nobody gets to clone him, and for his ashes to be scattered at Spanakopita, which has become a big White Lotus-esque resort island since Doc's last visit, built by Giorgo almost entirely off the Venture fortune. On the boat ride to Spanakopita, (WHITE LOTUS SEASON 2 SPOILERS) Sgt Hatred dies exactly like Tanya did and nobody bothers to fish his body back up.

Eventually some Rusty clones will pop up over the years, one of which is gonna be on that offscreen Rusty that went on the Cleveland Time Machine adventure with Billy. Once they leave Rusty's science basement, Billy and Pete White will never make it to the big leagues, but they'll pretty much be together until the end, and they are gonna go on some real weird adventures, like freaky Doom Patrol stuff, St.Cloud is gonna get up to some shit in the future once he bumbles into becoming rich enough to warp space-time around him just by existing and turn into the world's first Level 100 antagonist by the least amount of effort humanly possible. Actually the whole world is gonna get a lot weirder in the future, when stuff like the cloning tech and anti-gravity music boxes bleed over into general public use.

At some point the Earth will be menaced by the return of General Treister, who has absorbed enough cosmic radiation to become Galactus (this one was mentioned in the artbook as something they'd play around with, if they ever brought Treister back). He will be stopped from devouring the planet by a joint effort between Hank Venture, the Guild and the OSI, and Hunter Gathers will sacrifice herself in the process, passing the OSI's leadership to Shore Leave, who will bring SPHINX back every few months just so he has an excuse to interject SPHINX! into sentences again for funsies. Brock essentially becomes the OSI's equivalent to Red Death: basically retired, but he goes on assignments a couple times per year or gets brought onboard for decision-making, some part of him actually does kinda like this life and he stands by the friends he's made in it. He keeps touch with the Ventures but for the most part he flies solo. At some point he will have enough illegitimate children across the world for them to start their own super spy group.

Hank becomes an adventurer, and for the most part he just remains Hank as always. He makes a lot of strange alliances all over the place, he doesn't resort as much to his entourage of personas but some still come up on occasion (the double life of Enrico Matassa is one for the history books), he reforms Shallow Gravy with Dermott (who is totally 100% getting kicked out of the OSI) and Gary and HELPeR and Scare Bear playing the triangle, for the most part he lives up to the idea of being more "Rusty Venture" than Rusty himself ever was and he becomes like the first major Venture adventurer who's not some kind of monster. He completely and totally blows out any chance at settling down into normalcy, but he lives an exciting life. 50/50 on him either dying young doing something incredibly stupid and careless, or somehow stumbling his way into full-blown Highlander immortality just as 21 foresaw.

Dean I think stays in New York full time and is another 50/50 on him: he's either gonna succeed in having a normal life, or he's becoming a villain, I'm taking the fandom side on this one, villain Dean is not the most exciting idea in the world but it has some legs to it and I can't see him being anything else if he's gotta be a part of that binary whether he likes it or not. In the former, I imagine he finishes college, maybe gets a degree in something lowkey, probably changes his name and settles down with somebody and stops answering most calls, basically makes it like Professor Van Helping in that his life is okay and that's just how he wants it. Villain Dean I think happens in largely a similar way to how it happened to Dr Girlfriend taking over the Guild: not something they wanted or planned to, but it's the best way to keep things stable and keep themselves afloat amidst the chaos that surrounds them whether they want it or not. Maybe he finally listens to King Crimson and it breaks his brain into mad science a bit, as it tends to do, or maybe he invokes his blood right to appoint himself Sovereign but otherwise keeps hands-free of the Guild, and only does it so the Guild leaves him alone and he can boss other villains into standing down. He's gonna have freaks in costume trying to get him for the rest of his life so, fuck it, when in Rome or something.

At some point in the very near future Mantilla takes over the Peril Partnership and guts it to make ARCH a real thing, and maybe in the future ARCH kinda replaces the Guild at the forefront of supervillain institutions, with the Guild having the final word in matters of diplomacy and the old guard and ARCH as the new high-tech face of things. She never succeeds in getting to be besties with Dr Girlfriend, but she does hit it off nicely with Sirena, who takes over after Wide Wale and fires basically everyone that was still around after the Morpho saga. The Order of the Triad actually does succeed in making it pretty big, with comparatively few players but some very powerful additions like Lila, Red Death's daughter, and some of Jefferson's old buddies. Definitely not Triana though, she's got better to do than run with her dad's crew. Somehow HELPeR winds up joining and gets married to the Pants Golem.

Gary is gonna keep on being Henchman 21 up until the moment The Monarch dies, at which point he might actually undergo another big transformation of the self and will probably just outright become a sidekick to the heroes. He's never going to truly be a hero or a villain himself, he gave those a try and he's pretty firmly the kind of guy that only comes to life when someone else tells him what to do, so I imagine he's gonna bounce around until he finds something he finds fulfilling, will probably go on plenty of adventures with Hank. Really by this point he's already an honorary Venture, with The Monarch out of the picture so goes the pretense. Sheila, I think she just runs the Guild for as long as she can, probably reformulates it into something more sustainable by the end of her run. Sheila's arc in the show is about her climbing the ranks and moving away from her role as a number two, and distancing herself more from The Monarch because of it, and she's not going back to her old life so I think she's just fully going to remain The Sovereign up until she gets too sick of it, possibly moves into politics at Radical Left's suggestion and hands the Guild off to Phantom Limb. Maybe even becomes President of the United States for a bit, if anyone in the cast is becoming president it's really gotta be her. Or maybe not since she's overqualified, but still, if she does, in the process she hands the Guild to Phantom Limb, who basically makes it a drinking buddies gentleman's club and is too retired and rich and old to care much about anything anymore.

The movie ends with a pretty firm statement that The Monarch is just going to keep on being The Monarch no matter what and that he will in fact never stop trying to arch Rusty, and he's had like a million chances to kill Doc by now and didn't seize any of them so really yes he will just keep doing this until one or both pass. And I'm definitely thinking Doc goes first, Malcolm is torn between celebrating and flipping the fuck out that Doc DARED to not let The Mighty Monarch kill him, and for a brief moment he's completely and totally unsure as to what the fuck is he going to do with his life. He's like this close to genuinely trying to turn his life around and try to be a Blue Morpho-esque hero again if only because he and Gary had some good times and, y'know by this point he hates the Guild more so than the OSI, but then the Rusty clones show up and, you know what, fine, I can work with this, THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH IS NO MATCH FOR THE ACID CUMSHOT OF VENGEANCE, DOCTOR VENTURE, MUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! and then he crashes his new butterglider into a cliffside Wile E.Coyote style and he dies like two weeks into a new plan.

Gary cries, Sheila's heartbroken, but again, they and everyone totally saw this coming.

[urne-buriall]

sotw is so close to my heart and i admire you and your writing so much. the snippets you posted are so good and it’s so interesting to think about what could’ve been! something that is so interesting to me in the fic is sam and dean’s relationship. i wonder every time i read sotw what the future holds for their relationship?

this is a feast of a question. I'll tell you what I know:

there's just over a week between when Sam leaves and when he's set to start school. just before he's due to go back (and just after Dean rescues Zeppelin), he gets a call from Dean. at first he assumes Dean is calling to make amends for John and try to woo him back home one day, same old story. but Dean says he's broken from John, intends to become Sam's guardian, and also he's gay and dating Cas. honestly all the John stuff is more real and relevant to Sam in that moment. the gay thing is a surprise but Dean's pretty much like, "if you have questions just talk to Charlie, she knows" and I think Sam is pretty much in the best environment in that regard

the first time Sam comes home is, logically, Christmas. Dean and Cas just got the new farmhouse in November. part of Sam wanted to stay at school, because it feels weird going "home" out of tradition or comfort when this isn't your childhood home and everything's changed and he doesn't know what he feels. I also happen to know that Cas is the one to pick him up at the airport, unexpected because Dean got called away last minute with something unavoidable. and it's kind of good because Sam gets to ask and find out for himself that Cas doesn't think of Sam as encroaching on their space. that it was part of the conversation from day 1 that this was Sam's home too

and you know. YOU KNOW how excited Dean is to show all this stuff to Sam! the lights he put up, and a tree, and he's made a WHOLE BUNCH of food. like, it's a modest house that needs a lot of work and he and Cas are just scraping by, but he's made sure Sam's room is nice and there are presents for him and I think for the first time, Sam actually sees that Dean wants his approval. and when he finds out Dean is actually making plans to leave town and visit Sam in California for his birthday, he's surprised by Dean and understands just how much he's grown and changed without John around

they also have a conversation about John. to put it to rest. obviously Dean hates that but Sam insists he doesn't want to be kept out of it, that he was always affected by it to even if he wasn't allowed to be made part of it and understand what was going on. he wasn't actually left out of it, ever, and I think when Dean gives in and agrees to talk about it just this once, he realises how deep it went. and how Sam didn't even always have the connections that Dean had to other people in town, and that there were reasons Sam felt isolated. and Sam would ask the big question, does he think John's dead? (Dean doesn't know.) does Dean want him to be dead? (Dean never wants to see him again. but it doesn't comfort him to think of John dead rotting in a ditch.) (Sam, like the rest of us, doesn't seem bothered by this prospect.)

and, of course, a word about Dean and Cas. that first night Sam is home you just know Dean won't fall asleep and is whispering to Cas all the things like: "do you think he's doing good? he seems good"; "do you think he likes the place? maybe I should repaint his room"; and "is he okay with us, though? for real?" and on this Cas is able to assure him that on that drive from the airport, the only question Sam really asked was if Dean was finally happy

(he is)