#debating on even posting this im personally not too satisfied

[yazumo]

hes suffered worse!

bonus frame i didnt use but aelas pose goes hard here (and i booted up skyrim just to get a reference of her and i didnt end up using the panel grr grrr grr)

[akunya]

eiiiiii the idea of getting private meeting with camboy vox HELLO. you make me suffer for good stuffs every single day 😭💦 can you spoil me a little bittttt. - 🐱

“private session.”

pairings: camboy!vox akuma x male!reader

summary: congrats, lucky winner! because of your generous donations, vox reached out wanting to thank you in person. things, however, take a turn.

tw: DRUGGING, yandere, manipulation, voice fetish. camshows, drinking, implied noncon. age gap, etc.

notes: last fic of 2022! im posting this mere minutes from midnight, so please pardon any mistakes. ill go back and edit this a bit later.

and yes, i can write a part 2 if you truly wish. sorry for cucking you guys, again..

happy new year everyone, thank you for such an amazing 2022. i hope to write much more in the future!

“im at the right place, aren’t i..?” you mumbled to yourself, frigid, clammy hands swiping your phone to make sure the location was right. the restaurant looked a bit trendy and sophisticated, somewhere you wouldn't dare step inside on your own. you and vox both agreed on a restaurant to meet at around eight o'clock. to be truly honest with yourself, you never thought you’d have the guts to do something like this — but when vox, the streamer who you’ve been watching for months daily and donating to everyday reached out to you personally, how could you say no?

nonetheless, sitting across from him at the table really made you wish you had refused.

for one, he was much too ethereal to be in your lowly presence. the camera didn’t do him justice at all — his pale skin was a nice contrast to his black hair, adorned by his signature red highlights. he even wore the red eye makeup that you loved to look at, except now, you could see his mouth and bottom half of his face, uncovered by the black mask he would usually wear. his lips looked so soft, and when his tongue darted out to lick them you were nearly going to faint. we’re those.. fangs? his canines were sharp, and you felt like a pervert for staring so intensely.

you quickly paid your respects to the other fans who would never know that vox, a niche but popular adult streamer, was a truly beautiful man in person.

you didn't even notice how silent it had gotten between the two of you. “no need to be so quiet. i don’t bite, i promise.” vox’s sweet voice snapped you out of your thoughts, apologizing profusely for zoning out so much. “you’re right! im sorry, ive just never done anything like this before..” you chuckled awkwardly, shifting in your chair while vox just smiled. he found your skittishness adorable. you reminded him of a scared little bunny — and he was the big bad wolf, ready to eat you up whole.

"what a shame. and here i was thinking you do this quite often, with how you accepted my request and all." the demon smirked at how your face flushed, becoming a stuttering mess. you should've expected it, but he was just as snarky in person as he was on his live shows. as your little meeting continued, vox realized he enjoyed your presence much more than he thought. the night was filled with friendly but interesting conversation, and for once, the demon didn’t feel forced to keep speaking.

at first, he debated on meeting with you in person. what if the person who donated nearly thousands to him each month turned out to be not as pleasant as he hoped? while the demon wouldn't be surprised, he would be a tad disappointed with all of the free shoutouts he's given to you. still, with you being his top donator for a while now, he felt compelled to show some form of graciousness. a little present, just in time for the holidays.

vox enjoyed streaming more than he thought he would. even though he could use his voice and other demonic powers for much grander, sinister things - for some reason, using them to tease and drain the wallets of his viewers was surprisingly just as satisfying. doing this, he never had to worry about getting a silly job like most humans did, letting the demon truly relax when he wasnt tampering with cameras and himself.

but, you, however - vox liked how shy and nervous you were. it awakened a sick monster inside of him, that wanted to see you cry and beg for mercy at his fingertips. he thought his days of toying with mortals was over, but unfortunately (or fortunately?) for you, you seemed to rekindle that fire in his heart. if he didn't know any better, he would've never expected you to be someone that watches adult streams online, let alone spend money on them.

taking advantage of how anxious you were, vox continued to ask questions about yourself, forcing you to blurt out answers in hopes of not screwing up. "so, what do you like about my streams, y/n?" the male swiveled the wine in his glass nonchalantly, golden eyes looking into yours, awaiting an answer. you gulped, shakily drinking yours as well.

"um, well, you're the first streamer i've ever really watched for.. that sort of stuff. i initially liked how your voice sounded, and wanted to hear more, but i ended up staying for your little stories and when you'd talk about yourself. you just seemed really nice." it was a bit embarrassing when you had said it aloud, but it was the truth. you enjoyed the moments where the demon would just ramble the most. of course, given the content of his streams, most of the things he'd speak about were so dirty it made your ears feel hot - however, there were moments where he'd just talk about his day, and you seemed to enjoy those the most.

it was vox's turn to blush, his grip tightening on the wine glass ever so slightly. how could a mere mortal make him feel so... flustered? hes had his fair share of affairs over many decades, however, never has he felt so vulnerable. the demon was expecting you to talk about his cock or something, but of course your innocent little head wouldnt do that. you should be thankful vox isn't a cannibalistic demon, or he seriously would've eaten your heart out by now.

therefore, the man didnt feel any remorse when you went to the bathroom and he slipped a drug into your drink while you were away.

it wasnt his fault - how was he supposed to let you go after today? someone as sinless and pure as yourself needed to be his. vox wouldnt be content with letting you go back to being another viewer behind the screen, not after your little meeting. the demon knew truly that you probably wouldn't refuse going home with him, but that also didnt guarantee you'd accept his offer. he considered the drug just a bit of a push in the right direction, if you will.

"sorry for taking so long. there was a line outside, so.." your voice trailed off, going back to your seat as the older man simply chuckled. why did you feel the need to explain yourself? it didn't matter how long you took, even if you tried to run now, vox would surely find you. pouring some more wine for himself, he filled his glass a bit more to match yours. you tried to tell him you weren't too keen or interested in alcohol at the beginning of your little date, but the demon wouldn't take no for an answer. "y/n, lets have a toast, shall we?" his held up his glass expectantly towards you, waiting for you to clink the rim with your own.

you hesitated for a moment. the smell of wine never enticed you, but seeing vox wait earnestly made your heart flutter. one glass shouldn't hurt, right?

you simply nodded, the familiar clank of glass against glass being shared between you two before drinking. you drank a majority of the wine, only leaving a small amount left. "good boy. its good, isnt it?" you nearly sputtered the drink back up from the praise, nodding again and drinking the rest in one gulp. it was much different hearing his words of affirmation in person. it felt addicting, unreal.

"thats it. a toast for the new year, my boy. im excited for the memories we shall make together. aren't you?" oh, did vox mean his streams? of course you looked forward to those, how could you not! he was the highlight of your day, making you smile and laugh. "mhm! im excited. im looking forward to your streams, vox." the demon felt a shiver roll down his spine, suppressing a groan. he could get used to you saying his name. he wanted to hear you say it in other ways, too.

"i hope we can get more.. personal, as well, y/n. it was truly delightful being here with you." the man had such a way with words, making you swoon. was he this nice with everyone? no wonder he had so many followers! while you didnt know the true extent to what he had implied, you agreed, telling him that you were happy you came out today.

of course you were. you were his little rabbit, frail and gullible, unknowing of the big bad wolf sitting across from your very table. he truly wondered just how oblivious you could be, but much to his delight, he'd find out soon enough. your eyes started to feel heavy, zoning out while he talked about random things to keep you occupied.

"goodness, y/n, are you alright? you look a bit pale. here, let me take you back to my place. i don't live far at all." his voice was sickeningly sweet, how could you deny his offer? you nodded drowsily, letting the man hold you to steady your balance.

the cold air of the outdoors didnt phase you, and neither did it bother vox. peering at your sleeping face, he smiled, leaning in to kiss the top of your forehead.

"happy new years, y/n. lets have fun together." vox whispered in your ear, turning the corner towards his apartment.

[penelopepserver]

Sunday weekly roundup, 13th November!

I just chugged half a bottle of cola and I'm feeling SO PUMPED RN RAHHSHDHAHAHAAAA- also, I was originally planning on adding a small article about Void's planned comic but I feel like that'd add a bit of pressure, so consider this snippet here a special mention! I love your work Void, but I love you more. If plans change, that's totally okay!

•Server's "Counting if bored" channel is currently at 266!

Server addition count! (13th of November- 19th of November): 15 new characters to the server!

This includes,

•quentins thirst will never be satisfied

•Bob sparks

•Lonan, Pip's father!

•...."my brother"??? I don't have a brother? What are you on about Pinface- this isn't canon!

Guys just letting you know I am NOT registering THE IMPOSTER as an actual character! That guy like.. bullied me for hours yesterday! No one seemed to get my sos signal<//3 BUT THATS OKAY I FORGIVE YOU ALL!!

among us scandal

A certain someone had a bit too much fun running around terrorising the locals as the imposter from among us, while this doesn't seem all too intresting the among us was very much feared, by Kolby and Edmund! I warn you all now of the imposter among us. ....sorry, I thought that was really funny.

Indigo has been kidnapped!

From what I can tell, Indigo, child of Bob Vesleb, has been kidnapped by the infamous Dr Danner! Resident megamind. This HORRIBLE occurance has only occurred today so progress regarding the case is little to none! Please can we get the word out?? If you know anything, tell me or get in contact with one of Indigos friends! :((

Void was kidnapped too!!

HELP ME IM SOBBING I WROTE LIKE 3 PARAGRAPHS ABOUT THIS BUT TUMBLR DIDNT SAVE IT IM SO DJSJAJAARARAAAAAHHHH

anyways, paraphrasing what I was supposed to say, Void cat was kidnapped in another server by show host and paranormal investigator, Bob sparks. His show is 100% gonna get cancelled when they find out about the animal abuse allegations I'm about to throw at him because the ONLY PERSON who likes his show is (and I'm really ashamed) Dodgems. LIKE POOKIE NO PLEASE THERES OTHER PEOPLE TO IDOLOZE, LIKE DEVILEENA!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP THIS MANDESS<//3

If someone could save Void cat in the spooks of stepton it's actually give me a few years of my life back.. thanks in advance!<3

Dusk and Titch are friends!?

It was Jack the jester's birthday yesterday! Brother of invidia and son of Lord Zapza, we wish him a very happy birthday. Now, as my associate mentioned in a previous post: Dusk and Titch have been at eachothers throats since the BEGINNING- thankfully, due to the word of DUSK X JACK getting out, Titch and Dusk had a one on one talk in which they've been honest and caring towards eachother!? SHOCKING: TITCH SAYS SOMETHING NICE AND GENUINE.

Dusk: "Thank you.. so.. what exactly is your problem with me?.. there has to be something I can do to not anger you so much!"

Titch: "It's just....it feels like you get special treatment...like everyone treats you like a helpless baby that can do no wrong....I know that it's not true but.....this....upset me so much"

The Ethan vs Spirit phone debate

It was heavily argued wether Ethan or the spirit phone gang would win in a fight- setting the scene: its a boxing ring. No weapons, no hand to hand combat. Even if Pickles is a murderous spirit, Ethan has memorised banishing spells so that's all 3 ghosts out the picture immediately. Arabella is out of the picture too- it'd be a pretty miserable fight, Arabella vs Ethan.

Ethan vs Kolby: if Ethan had prep time beforehand and a weapon he would win but I'm pretty sure in terms of hand-to-hand in a boxing ring Kolby takes the crown, Void declared it a draw.

Ethan vs Pip? Imagine this: feisty crows in a trenchant vs mortal boy. Its a pretty even matmating you ask me- the winner was never declared and personally even I can't decide!

Now, if you have a a differing a opinion, lmk! You can even tell me anonymously if it's that good.. >:) we support fighting and drama here

for anyone wondering, Dani is still in the process of being saved. Uh.... at the time I'm writing this I'm actually kinda in danger but yknow- whatever. To save Dani!

Thats all for now folks, until next time!

-Penelope Paparazzi

[kai-keda]

since we've got the discussion ball rolling, what did you think of macaques arc through season 3 and embrace your destiny?

i personally really enjoyed it! i think the writers did a good job not using him too much during s3 and loved the way his demeanor completely changes in ep9. i liked his "redemption" in EYD because it wasnt even really a redemption. hes not a good guy now hes just not a villain any more.

i think its also a plus that unlike some villain-hero team ups *cough* she-ra *cough* none of the cast (except maybe mk but thats up for debate) immediately (or at all) even like macaque, swk doesnt like him, pigsy doesnt like him, it feels more natural i guess?

im asking cause i remember you posting about want a sacrifice-redemption for him.

(sorry for all the long asks also)

Don’t apologize for these asks! I love them! They fuel me!

I don’t have much to add to this one, though, cause I agree with everything you said lol

I think they gave him the amount of time he needed and no more. I didn’t feel like anything with Macaque was unnecessary, especially considering how complicated his relationship with the heroes is. (Like how he started out purely wanting to mess with Wukong via using MK as a tool for that (cough-cough MK was Macaque’s weapon against Wukong) and then was dragged into fighting them because of LBD.

The moment where MK tells Macaque “Then be a warrior.” was SOOOOO satisfying and awesome and I’m pretty confident in saying THAT was the moment his arc came to a satisfying conclusion.

I wouldn’t say even MK immediately liked Macaque, though. I think he’s just more open to him by the end due to a character trait of being more emphatic to others. I mean, he was kinda yelling and fussing and acting frustrated with Macaque when they had him tied up. MK literally told him to shut up cause he was in time-out.

As for my posts about there not being a god-dang point if we didn’t get an ending that would match with “Leave Out All the Rest” from Linkin Park… those were mostly a joke.

Yes I really wanted that and was heavily advocating for it but I was also, much more quietly, bringing up the “Goes off to live isolated from everyone else and occasionally helps the gang in ‘enemy of my enemy is my friend’ style with bonus points if he causes minor mischief from time to time” possibility. (Heck, that possibility is what I was already going with for my stories with my spicynoodles fankids and having Xiaobo sneak off to bug Macaque into training him. The cast basically has a “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” relationship with Macaque in that universe)

The only thing I knew I 100% did NOT want from Macaque was for him to completely join the good guys and be considered a member of the team. Worse yet if Wukong’s mistakes with how he treated Macaque were treated as worse than how Macaque has responded to and treated others because of it. ESPECIALLY if Wukong never gets a chance to tell his side of what happened. (I am still holding strong to the theory that Macaque is an unreliable narrator)

It feels like making him a hero on the team similar to A:TLA’s Zuko would have cheapened Red Son’s arc since he is so clearly on that path and much further along it.

I’m glad we got what we did, even if I would have LOVED a redemption sacrifice.

Note that I never actually watched She-Ra and know so little about it that I thought the main character’s name was Catadora until I learned about a year ago that that was actually the ship name between the characters Catra and Adora

[biocrafthero]

Ok I saw the long tags about Omori characterization in one post you reblogged and tbh you’re so right like. So many times I’ve really been annoyed w how characters are written in this fandom and especially with characters like Basil it’s CRAZY to me how badly he is written at times

OKAY IM GLAD IM NOT ALONE BC FANDOM IS INSANE LIKE THAT

Honestly it’s a problem in every fandom I’ve been in, where the majority of people writing fics don’t get it when it comes to the main characters. Luckily Omori isn’t that bad compared to other fandoms, but it’s still common.

When I see people that do complain about certain fics, it’s usually people talking about YBM/Pursuit but imo that argument doesn’t hold water since a) it’s very explicitly an AU where the characters are gonna act a little different and b) people writing things like Basil being obsessive over Sunny is something that’s been around since the fandom’s inception (post-game release, I know the fandom has technically existed for like 8 years or smth). YBM/Pursuit just did it differently which is why it’s well-known, some good examples of a similar phenomenons being the AU comic “Eye for an Eye” by @/ginumo or the fic “Sharing is Caring” by ooCatoo on AO3 (not as well-known but very good).

Aside from that, I think a lot of it is people either just misinterpreting the characters due to lack of understanding or pushing them OOC for the sake of OOC angst (once again, I don’t believe YBM/Pursuit falls under this category, I think it does it beautifully). It’s not really something that can be fixed, so I don’t really lecture people on it too hard because I just don’t have the energy for that and I don’t like debating people. It’s why I’m picky with what I read/engage with; I have been known to drop fics if I don’t like things like characterization, even midway through very long stories. If the character feels too unnecessarily pushed out of their canon personality, I tend to quickly fall off, but if the shift is built up to and/or developed properly then I adore it.

In general, I tend to write for myself, which means stupidly meticulous detail (that sometimes happens on accident, admittedly) and analysis to get exactly what I want, which can hit for some readers and miss for others. I’m very much someone who likes to ask why the curtains are blue, if that makes sense.

When it comes to my friend’s writing, a lot of the people I talk to also pay attention to these kinds of details and will discuss with me why the curtains are blue, so when I read their writing I’m satisfied with things like story and characterization. I don’t always agree with them, but the way they handle and write their own thoughts/interpretations makes it work for me.

For example, I believe Sunny is a very quiet person who chooses not to talk a lot, but my friend believes him to be a rambler that will go on for a while if prompted. Usually I have issues with those kinds of interpretations, but at a core level it’s due to how it’s written; since my friend actually writes Sunny in a way that has it work for the character, I think it adds instead of subtracts from the interpretation and story, even if I personally have different headcanons and ideas.

I have read things from people I’m not friends with that have interpretations different from my own, and in the fics where it’s done well really work for me. However, I have read ones where it just doesn’t, because there isn’t the proper ease-in or build up for the changes.

Another example I can think of is the fic I mentioned previously called “Sharing is Caring.” In it, Sunny is a manipulative little shit, and obviously in canon he isn’t like that at all, therefore my interpretation of the character differs from how he is in the fic. However, due to the time we’re given to understand Sunny in this fic, the character changes aren’t that jarring and don’t take me out of the story.

This is kind of why I have issues with people interpreting Basil as extremely obsessive, or when people say the friends would never forgive Sunny and Basil, or when people interpret Mari as a perfect, (metaphorical) angel, or when people interpret Omori character as a demon or a jerk towards Sunny. A lot of people miss things like subtext or just whole character interactions, and t bothers me.

Idk, it’s just my thoughts. I tend to overanalyze a story so what I engage with leans into those detail-oriented things. It’s also why I have trouble discussing characters or even other fics with people. This isn’t to say people are interpreting things wrong, of course, I just think it’s an issue of people missing or overlooking things.

When I write, I don’t expect the majority of readers to see the subtext I intentionally and unintentionally leave in (I have been told before of small details in my writing I had never even thought of when putting them to paper). I write for myself, therefore I write very meticulous and complex stories that involve active thought about the themes and characters. I want my readers to ask why the curtains are blue, because I ask those same kind of questions. It may be because I’m an overthinker, sure, but it’s also what I tend to enjoy. I guess that’s why I love Omori so much, haha.

This was a lot longer than I intended, but I have a LOT of thoughts on the subject of writing and reading between the lines. So that’s my thoughts, and it applies to writing in general, not just fanfiction.

[faeriecap]

hello its me again 😈🍆🍦🎢

YASS I LOVE UUUUUU

😈 omg yes i love being evil?? you mean like besides not updating my last fic for like three years hahaha ummm let’s see my meanest thing would probably be how i handled *spoilers* strucker’s death in awits? i built up the who done it so much n then just. never revealed who it actually was. i honestly never even decided who it was. lol. HOWEVER there’s also my super old evil!bucky fic (the man who sold the world on ao3) and i made my irl friend read it at school and they started crying in the middle of a lecture so oop 😳

🍆 i mean. yes i write smut. i usually dont PUBLISH it 😅🥴 loooool. we always talked about adding a spicy scene to awits and it just never felt right beyond vague implications? i think it’s more awkward when theres coauthors working together in real time… i have ONE spicy(ish???) fic up and i debate deleting it all the time jdjdjdjdkdkdkdkdkdkd BUT there’s definitely some spicy scenes in the works for the dublin au so idk hopefully i get it the fuck together by the time that one releases lmaoooooo

🍦oooo ummm so much of a summer in new york is filled with domestic fluff but also the epilogue of awits is probably my FAVORITE chapter in the entire thing and just so fucking endearingly sweet?? ask no omen (my endgame fix it) is also pretty sweet too in terms of the reunion scene. however i always randomly get comments on my abandoned extremely old teenlock (bbc sherlock fic 💀💀💀) telling me people adore it and im like. why are people still reading this poor thing in the year of our lord 2022 so

🎢 in terms of published ones, definitely a winter in the sun. it took YEARS to complete. i’m not even the same person i was when we started writing it. it started out as a generic post catws fic right after the movie came it. that poor thing had to survive age of ultron, civil war, infinity war, and endgame coming out before we could just freaking finish it and messing up literally every character arc for the cap quartet (which is why i end the fic post cacw) for one thing. for another my coauthor and i LOST our first outline and wip draft for the fic and had to completely redo the entire thing. then my coauthor left the project and that’s sort of why it took me so long to get around to editing what we had left and creating a satisfying ending on my own. some of the stuff in that fic even after multiple patch jobs and removing entire published chapters or moving portions around is soooooo cringe and not anything id be proud of now. HOWEVER some of it i genuinely feel is my best writing esp for canon characterizations of these characters and im so in love with the world we created and the justice i was able to do some corny little fic we started as kids 🥺

[nickspersonalbullshit]

watching “the sinner” which is great at suspense-keep -watching-just-one-more tv. tho the plot is always wild in some fashion.

but a major element of season 4 is siblings/parents doing *anything* for their sibling/child…

idk if i would. the stakes in the show are so so high. but i dont know what the limit would be in terms of “protecting” my family. i feel like it would be shamefully low?

but also, no way in hell would i expect them to do shit for me. not sure i would want them to? but i know better than to expect help from them lol. and zero chance they would (presently, i know my parents at least have in the past) do anything that would cause them moderate inconvenience for my benefit.

also clearly im selfish and narcissistic to believe they don’t do things for benefit. but god damn. after not receiving a peep while they were out spending thanksgiving with my other two siblings. and so many years of them not acknowledging my birthday. and just a ton of lack of consideration towards me, like, 3 out of every 4 times we interact…it just bums me out

i feel like i know im *supposed to* be the support i want for myself, and build non-traditional relationships that can bridge the gap that my lack of satisfying familial relationships leaves me with, but i have social anxiety and low self esteem. its all easier said than done. plus im lazy and take poor care of my wellness, so putting in extra work to accomplish these things feels really insurmountable.

with my birthday coming up, i want to try and use it as a marking point to develop some new, better habits that can train myself to build up the strength to solve my internal problems for myself. i’ve also debated trying to part with my tendency toward greed/evade the panic of being(…poor? idk) that has been preventing me from signing up for therapy. work is also seeking new insurance providers, so there’s hope that we’ll be getting better coverage in the new year…cuz online therapy is still $400-ish a month without guaranteed results…that part of the problem, too, that i only want therapy if it can ‘efficiently’ help improve my life to make it “worth it”. im consistently afraid to risk anything.

clearly my mind is off kilter. i think things that are not logical. perhaps id write a letter to my therapist to try to get into some deep shit early. im shameless about considering myself introspective, so “proving” that i have correctly analyzed my issues to a professional via written letter is a good choice🙃😐i’d probably scare them away and get a referral to a psych ward just so they won’t have to deal with my narcissism

(side thought, i sometimes see random promoted tweets and they often overlap with psychology influencers, that love to post shit that selfish bitches like me will read and say “oh that’s so me”…recent hits have been that i have no friends bc my parents rarely showed how they interacted with friends, which they had few of and saw on second-tier holidays. there was another one i wanted to link to the thoughts in the paragraph above, but now i cant remember it)

the sinner is a cool show. i rarely like male leads, and as i said above, it has wild plot lines(spoiler: specifically, they often rely on closing loops by zooming out to add another crime ring on an even bigger scale, or inflating the importance of side character we barely saw in the background of early scenes, but by the last episode or two, they are so pivotal to the plot’s unfolding explanation…there’s no way you could guess it).

but it often is telling life lessons and how to be a better, more at-peace and managing-your-struggles kind of person.

[yesimwriting]

Hi!!! I was wondering if you could do like a short story post or something I wonder how Our General Kirigan would react to a shy reader? Would he tease her? Be frustrated with her? And how would she react? Idk maybe just a thought 😅 I asked you because i really like your writing and I feel like you would really do a good job and I like the way you portray the General. 😊

a/n i have been crying/feeling shitty for the past two days for no reason!! so i thought it might make me feel better to try writing headcanons! i have SO MANY half done requests/fics but as of recently i hate everything that i write!! so i thought i'd work on this request that lends itself to headcanons

also im glad you like my writing :))

--

General Kirigan with a shy! reader headcanons:

- First things first, I think how he interacts with someone shy that he sees as a (potential) romantic interest varies per situation. Like generally, he finds the timidness kind of soft which is so different from what he's used to that he finds that aspect kind of endearing.

- He'd never admit that at the beginning, but the more time you spend with him the clearer it becomes to you because of how he acts when you're alone together

- At first, he'd hold onto his usual stoic disposition, but after realizing that at the end of the day your shyness is genuine and not an attempt to seem meek in order to trick people/him he'd begin to tease you about it when you two are alone.

- The first time he makes a comment that's just a little,, kinda-almost suggestive (a comment about how he wonders what it'd be like to be a Heartrender so that he could hear the change in your heartbeat every time you shied away from something) you're too confused to be embarrassed for like two seconds.

- You're basically that meme that's like did I hear that shit righttt??

- So you meet his gaze, and there's absolutely nothing but warm confidence there and you realize that he had in fact,,, said that.

- You hold his gaze for a moment out of protest (which is an incredible feat) and then you have to drop your eyes to the floor. You mumble some comment about how his ability to summon shadows isn't exactly a boring skill.

- Your reaction is so soft,, Kirigan can't help but be endeared even further. Something he wasn't exactly expecting and isn't too thrilled about. He doesn't think being shy makes you weak,, but he's extremely wary about how you're perceived and how people may treat you because of it.

- He doesn't doubt his ability to protect you, but he doesn't want to be distracted,, not with all he has to do.

- Still, he can't help mumble comments whenever there's a brief pause and you two are alone

- Meanwhile, you're starting to notice that now more situations keep coming up when you're left alone with Kirigan?? like he's always in the library when you are, he's always walking in to assess training when you're training and he just so happens to linger until you leave and then he just so happens needs to walk in the same hallway.

- It's a little strange at first,, but you're more horrified by the fact that you're not mad about it than the fact that it's happening. Especially since you know how much joy he gets from getting you flustered. You can see that in that slightly cocky uptilt to his lips whenever you're left gaping at him.

- Why doesn't it bother you?? You try to rationalize it and the only conclusion you can come to is the fact that he's attractive and powerful and even though your face gets hot whenever he talks to you,, there's appeal in those qualities. There's appeal in getting the infamous General to smile.

- Even if it costs you the bit of pride you have.

- You don't get why you're the one he seems to be going out of his way to speak to (maybe when your life is as stressful as his is,, at the end of the day you just want something easy and if he's in the mood to be flirty, you're easy) but you're not mad. You just have to constantly remind yourself to not be foolish enough to think you're the only one he goes out of his way to talk to.

- And as time progresses, you get a little more comfortable with his banter. You stop shying away completely,, which only encourages him to get bolder with his comments.

- Nothing insane,, not yet, just a little more direct.

- It kind of becomes a little game to him,, to see how flustered he can get you with the minimal amount of effort. Every once in awhile, you manage to act normally, but he's quick to shut that down by upping his game just slightly.

- After awhile, it starts to become a game for you too, to see how much of your instincts you can suppress just to take away some of his satisfaction. Only when he's getting a little too smug.

- But that's when y'all are alone...

- When you're surrounded by others, sometimes it feels like you don't even exist to each other. Sometimes that's a lonely feeling for both of you, but each of you is convinced that they're the only one that feels the absence.

- In your defense, you're much more entitled to those feelings because he can literally do whatever he wants. You can't just walk up to the General and do what?? ask him why he hasn't made any suggestive comment in the last couple of hours??

- please that embarrassing!! even if you weren't shy, that would be out of POCKET

- Meanwhile Kirigan is just like being angsty and debating the implications of seeking you out in an environment with so many important people. He could probably manage a minute or two by your side without making anyone suspicious, but the danger in that is that he won't be able to bring himself to leave after those minutes pass him.

- Worse,, he may even find an excuse for both of you to step out into the hall so that he can make his comments and take in your reactions in private.

- It's especially difficult when you have that one strand of hair just slightly out of place,, presenting the perfect excuse for him to just fix it and then drop his hand slowly so that his fingertips can brush the side of your cheek.

- And you're growing tired of the crowds of people you're not comfortable with and you're starting to feel more and more stupid for letting something that was so clearly just a playful distraction mean anything to you.

- But before either of you can succumb to your angsty pinning (cough, cough,, simps) his eyes will find yours from across the room and that's EVERYTHING

- At first, you want to be stiff and look away because it's probably not intentional, but then he gives you that little smirk. And then you feel stupid for ever doubting that you two at least have some kind of friendship. (maybe more,, but you're too scared to let yourself think that,, ;))

- And then you give him this shy smile,, and that's it. He's done--that one look undoes him entirely.

- So he starts shifting towards you as casually as possible, because if he can't be with you right now, surely being near you is good enough for now.

- You're unaware of this,, and when the moment ends you find yourself longing for more, but relatively satisfied. You don't expect anything from him, he's important and you're you.

- And being around people drains you because you genuinely want to stay out of any situation that would have too much attention on you at once. So once Kirigan moves and you can't find him in the crowd, you decide now is as good a time as any to step out and get some air, especially since no one currently needs you for anything.

- So you disappear into the corridor, planning to be gone only for a few minutes. But the second you're about two steps into the hallway, you hear another's footsteps.

- The hopeful part of you is like 'maybe it's him!!' but you don't really think that. There's something about the atmosphere that feels too tense,, too wrong for you to believe it's him.

- A moment later, your suspicions are confirmed. A grisha known for his impulsiveness is calling out to you, asking you where you're going.

- You explain that you just wanted to get some air and that you'd be returning in a minute. You try to sound dismissive, clearly establishing that you'd like your minute to yourself.

- It's clear that he understands the hint, but he doesn't move. He just keeps asking you questions.

- Your answers get shorter and shorter, the nerves your feeling tensing with each word as he begins to venture from falsely casual conversation to more flirtatious words. Being shy can leave you speaking too much, spluttering out words in hopes of saying the right thing to let you escape, but this is a different type of nervousness. Something feels wrong.

- And he just keeps saying things, things that even Kirigan wouldn't be able to get away with.

- All the while, you're desperate to escape, but they're persistent.

- And just when you're losing hope, and his advances get so bold he has you literally backed into a corner--a familiar voice comes to you like a lifeline.

- Kirigan, with all the authority of the general, questions what's going on. The guy that was so relentlessly hitting on you moves back like suddenly you're fire and begins to back away. He tries to explain himself but Kirigan is not having it.

- As soon as the stranger leaves, you feel like you can breathe again, but your nerves are still on edge. Kirigan's looking at you in a way you've never seen before. Sharp and almost--almost angry?

- You try to mumble a quick thanks, intending to disappear back to where you're supposed to be, but Kirigan's gaze keeps you planted against the wall.

- His gaze is so intense you ask him if he's alright.

- The question cracks something in him because of course you'd ask him if he's okay after something happened to you. His expression softens slightly, which you think is a good thing but then he speaks,, and his voice is not calm at all

- He's mad at the person that did that and the irrational part of him makes it seem like he's a little mad at you for letting that situation happen, but it's only because he's worried about what would have happened if he hadn't gotten there in time.

- And you're kind of confused because like?? what does he want from you? you made it clear you were uncomfortable and you were trying to get away?

- But after a quick snap and the fact that you're okay settles in,, he does feel a little bad. So he comes close to apologizing,, but that's basically just him saying he's glad that you're okay.

- You don't really ease, so he decides to make a partial joke about how maybe he needs to be around you more,, just to be safe,, you know

- And you smile slightly, and you're like 'y'know i'm not completely helpless.'

- and he's like 'pity,, i would've liked the excuse'

- your face instantly feels extremely warm and you're not sure what you could even, plausibly say to that. But you can't let him have the last word,, not like that. So you're overcompensating, rambling, but then at the end...you say something about how he doesn't really need an excuse to stay near you.

- When you realize what you've said, fight or flight kicks in,, but you can't move. And there's no casual way to escape, so you decide that maybe you'll cut your losses for today because that might have been your most significant reply to him ever, and you feel like an idiot because he was probably joking. And you just had to say that and make it weird.

- So you allow exactly one second of unfortunate silence, your eyes glued to the ground. And then you make some excuse about needing to get back to where you were.

- But Kirigan stops you, and you think about how you can't avoid looking him in the eyes forever, so you just kind of barely dare to glance upwards.

- And he's smiling broader than usual, the look is so warm it melts away all the bad feelings from earlier. You have absolutely no idea what it means, but you know it's not...bad.

- And then he shifts slightly, and that's when you realize he's never been this close before.

- He then asks if you're sure, voice much lower than earlier.

- You can't speak,, too trapped on a line you don't understand.

- But as he leans forward, the only answer he needs is the instinctual part of your lips as his warm breath reaches your cheek.

- And with that he turns his head just a fraction of an inch,, and his lips meet yours.

- It's just a quick brush of lips,, a soft test. And when you don't protest, he moves to let the contact be a little more assured, yet still teasing.

- Something in you grows impatient, and you move a little in hopes that he'll take the hint.

- But that's all it takes for him to pull away, expression bright and teasing before playfully chiding you for being so eager.

- He then turns, leaving you more flustered than ever.

[degenrcy]

traitor (chapter 1); shigaraki tomura/f!reader

my online friends aren’t bad people! they just want to destroy hero society!

word count: 2.7k

warnings (for this chapter): underage (first year reader), grooming, minor use of jp honorifics, ik some people don’t like that too much, uhh i cant think of anything else lmk if anything needs to be added!

hi! this is my first time posting my works on tumblr and im unfamiliar with formatting hehe ^^ originally posted on ao3 but this version will be edited! also, this chapter doesn’t have any super explicit nasty stuff, so if that’s what you’re looking for stay tuned! any feedback is greatly welcomed and appreciated, i hope you enjoy!

it was the weekend, finally managing to finish all your work for school before it got too late to feel bad for not having anything done. that meant you could freely stay up late playing games, and maybe even spend sunday training.

you booted up your computer, instantly faced with the gray interface of discord. a few notifications from servers and the private messages with your friends. you first checked class 1-a’s personal chat.

deku: does anyone want to go on call? denki: yeah what r we playing deku: not for games, for studying! denki: wtf is wrong with you deku: sorry (*μ_μ)

you smiled at the messages between your friends, seeing that deku, uraraka, and momo were all in a call together, appropriately titled ‘study stream!!’. you debated in popping in to say hi, but you were positive they were deep into work. 

denki, kirishima, and jiro were all playing minecraft. you would join but it wasn’t a minecraft type of night, some fps action was much needed. you eyed the pm waiting to be read at the top of the screen, knowing exactly who it was from.

ten: hey u wanna play today : whenever ur off school i mean

you grinned, eyes lighting up and fingers instantly typing away.

y/n: ofc ten-kun!!!! is apex fine? i’m feeling very grind to diamond tn

before you could even click out of the tab to open up the actual game, ten was already typing back. a simple ‘yeah’, his status changing from blank to apex.

grabbing your headphones with a working mic, you placed them over your ears and plugged it into the jack, starting up the game and joining the call your friend started. as always, he was quiet, only the sound of shuffling around and the wire of (what you presumed) his own headphones hitting against something.

“hiii, ten-kun!” you said softly, close to the mic.

“hi, you.” his voice wasn’t ear-rumbling deep or anything, but it definitely gave away that he was older than you. however, he had that signature gravelly and groggy tone that assured you he wasn’t twice your age. for as long as you’ve known him, he hasn’t indulged you in much personal information.

you always wondered what he looked like.

“jeez ten-kun, are you seriously rich or something?” you gasped at the new skin he had equipped, it was just released in a bundle that was not so affordable, to say the least. on top of that, he always bought you skins and cosmetics as well- you weren’t mooching off him though- it was just fun to play with ten, he’s really good at the games he plays. 

“it’s called a job, when are you going to get one?” he teased.

“i’m still in high school! plus, we’re going to some big training place, so maybe heroes will come observe or something, then i’ll get one.”

mentioning that you were still young and in school never put ten off, at first being a sort of warning to the stranger you met online that you were potentially underage. now it was clear that he didn’t care if you were 16, he didn’t have any bad intentions. he just liked playing with you, you were ‘surprisingly good’, that’s all it was.

“really? where to this time?” ten asked, spamming voice lines.

“why don’t we drop hot spot?”

“no, i meant where are you going, with the school? idiot.” he sighed, dropping hot spot anyway.

“oh,” you giggled. “some place called usj or something? usg? i’m not really sure, i didn’t pay attention.”

ten tapped at his keyboard, satisfying smooth clicks of each cap, but his character wasn’t moving. you ran up to him in-game and punched him, sending him off the small cliff he stood on.

“why the hell did you do that? i can’t climb back up.” he groaned, and you only laughed as you looked down at him. the two of you continued to play for a couple hours, racking up competitive points and leveling up.

“-and then aizawa literally embarrassed me in front of the class, it was so fucked up.” you were telling ten about the situation you were in yesterday in class, where aizawa basically exposed your failing assignment for the class to see.

“i would hate to have him as a teacher,” (so he is a student? maybe a senior?) “is he coming on your little field trip too?”

“hey! not some little field trip, and yes. all might too, which i’m admittedly kinda excited for.” ten hummed, and you pictured him nodding. you wondered who his favorite hero was, he always avoided the question. you wondered a lot of things about your mysterious duo-queue partner. 

more typing without anything happening onscreen, you noticed that it’s been happening a few times.

“ten-kun, is your keyboard broken?”

he was silent for a while, all noises halted. “yeah. sometimes it just stops working so i have to spam.”

“you buy me all these things but can’t buy a new keyboard?” you teased, and he laughed sarcastically.

when the day to go to the training area came, you were excitedly texting your friend on the bus ride there.

i’m really excited!! hope it goes well, we can talk with the others maybe after!

ten: ofc. lowkey wish i could see u, but i’m stuck at home today

;(((

you did want to see him, to see exactly who the funny cool guy was behind the screen. it was cheesy, but you really did want to meet him- all your online friends, many who were mutuals of ten’s. you all met through another game you all played, teamed up together after one random match and all became regular playing buddies, they were fun and understanding and you trusted them. sure, there were occasions where some creep would say weird things to you or some of the other girls, but the boys were always there to fight them off.

so when villains attacked that day, you confided in ten the next time you were online, which was too many days too long.

“i-i’m sorry... i shouldn’t really talk about it much but... i’m sure you’ve seen it on the news.”

“yeah,” ten sighed, you imagined a faceless male running his hands through his hair. it would be longer, down to his ears, remembering a time where ten said he needed a haircut. “i did, are you alright? did you get hurt?”

“just a few scrapes and bruises... my teacher got seriously hurt though, but i was luckier than some of my other classmates.”

“if i was there, i would’ve protected you... and your friends.”

you sniffed, smiling and curled up in your blanket tighter. “thank you, ten-kun. i bet you would, with your mysterious quirk.”

he chuckled. “sure would. ahh, it sucks that we really can’t meet up now, wish i could take you somewhere nice to get your mind off things.”

“that’s really nice of you,” you couldn’t stop the smile stretching across your face. “i really wanna meet you and the others. even a video chat would be cool, maybe, i don’t know.” you felt a bit guilty always prying ten for his appearance, but a few of your other mutuals have already dropped their personal instagrams and even sent pictures of themselves. all except ten.

“aren’t you on like- probation now? especially being in ua?”

you pouted, even though he couldn’t see. he avoided your question again. “yeah. for a while, just to be safe.”

“figured that much, be careful, y/n. i don’t want you getting hurt or anything.”

“okay, ten-kun...” you whispered softly, eyes fluttering closed to the sound of his voice. the occasional typing and soft whirr of a fan in the background was strangely comforting, his occasional sniff or even soft curse at the game he was playing.

it was soothing, just hearing him be there with you. so calming you fell asleep on call with him.

ten-kun the anticipation is killing me!! send us a picture of your new outfit!!! rokiroki: yeah ten-kun~~~ ten: kill yourself ten: not u y/n

your smile lit up at the mirror picture that was suddenly sent to the group chat, gasping and instantly clicking on the attachment to inspect closer. an all black outfit, camera angled down so his face didn’t show up. ten-kun seemed pretty lanky, bony pale hands and shoes that looked huge on him because of his thin ankles.

the picture in your mind became a bit clear.

the sports festival was going to be held soon, a bit too soon after recent events. you wanted to do your best, show off your skills, make a name for yourself! 

“you want me to come watch you, is that it, y/n?” ten gave a quick laugh through his nose. you were surprised how quick he was able to catch on to you.

“i mean, if you want, you know... free to the public, and we can finally meet! bring your friends too!”

“that’s a terrible idea. bunch of neets coming to a high school to watch teenagers? i think we’d get arrested just for being near the school.” ten sighed, his chair creaking, so you assumed he was leaning back in his seat to stretch.

so maybe he wasn’t quite your age.

“did you ever do a festival?”

“nah. i’m sure you’ll do good though, win for me, y/n.”

and with that in mind, you didn’t exactly drop out of the festival, nor did you rank super high, you didn’t end up doing weekend training after all. but ten had all sorts of questions and general comments about the event.

ten: seems unheroic to me to chain the winner of the festival like that you think? he does kinda have some anger issues >.> ten: they dont have any deescalation techniques? ahh idk, guess not. ten: pretty fucked for a hero school : anyway, i saw that move you did last round. u really nailed that kid in the face lmao

you tucked your phone away when all might started to hand out medals, looking up at bakugo worriedly as he stood up there to be probably ridiculed, the crowd continuing to cheer. you didn’t know the full story as to why he was acting like that, but it had to be for a reason.

“t-there has to be a reason, why the fuck would this happen?!” you paced around your dorm, panicking to your best-online-friend about bakugo being kidnapped.

“calm down y/n.”

“dude, he was just here yesterday, and now he’s been taken by some fucking villains or some shit-“

“don’t cry, y/n. it’ll be alright. the heroes will find him, surely. he’s a strong kid.” ten was more hushed and quiet than usual, he wasn’t on his computer, that much you could tell. you sniffled on your line anyway.

“i think i’m gonna join my friends on the rescue mission, that’s doing what’s right, right?”

silence.

“right, ten-kun?”

“don’t come.” there was some ruckus in the background, his mic occasionally going on mute and back on.

“what?”

“don’t risk your life just because they want to do something stupid.” a knock at his door and a distant ‘yeah yeah, i’ll be right there’. “anyway. i have to go- don’t do anything stupid, y/n. i don’t want you to get hurt.”

“o-okay, ten...” your lip quivered and heart sank when he ended the call, wishing he was able to stay on the phone longer to comfort you. your classmate was just kidnapped, you really needed his reassurance! well, you also had your very concerned real-life friends but... ten was different, you knew he was. he always had good advice and stories and opinions on things- not the company-approved 'the heroes will take care of it!' talk your friends always gave you. 

bakugo returned home safe and quickly, back at school like nothing happened. you didn’t want to bother him further by sharing your relief he was alright, more concerned with the current issue at hand. ten had been inactive for what felt like forever, but he was suddenly back, in the server like nothing happened. like he hadn't been offline for weeks on end and no activity, no messages to you.

ten: new season came out lets queue y/n: where have u been!!!!!!!!! :0000 ten: oh lol ten: doing big boy things you wouldnt understand little girl rokiroki: lul OFAxAFO: dont be mean to little y/n-chyannnn!! <333

even though ten was playing a game you didn’t own with his friends, you joined the call anyway, voice overshadowed by the shouting of the other three people in the call, arguing about which skin was hotter or which character was nerfed this season. you became quiet and just played with them, waiting for the next opportunity to talk to ten patiently.

and so that chance came when ten pretended to get off the game just to put you and him in a private call.

“i missed you, ten-kun! where have you been? we were without a dps for so long.” you cuddled up in your bed, hugging the spare pillow close to your chest. ten chuckled, he had a whole new demeanor to him.

“missed me? what do you mean, missed me?” you knew he was teasing you, but his voice lacked the playful tone, he wasn’t doing his breathy little laughs.

“you know... just missed playing with you and stuff. w-without you i actually got my work done at school, haha.” your small laugh fell short, it was true. you used to spend so much time talking with him that you missed out on schoolwork, but now it felt weird. you didn’t want it to be weird. you wanted ten to miss you as much as you missed him.

“you sure that’s it? didn’t miss me in any other way?” there was a hum to his words now, his teasing was taking a different route entirely. 

your breath hitched, finger stopped scrolling through your phone, and that unmistakable feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“h-how can i miss you like that if i’ve never seen you in person, or know your name...”

“you tell me.”

“i just missed your voice,” there was no point trying to hide it. “like talking with you, and stuff. it’s not the same being with everyone else without you.”

“it was pretty boring not talking to you while i was out. my coworkers just aren’t like you.”

you smiled, burying your face into the pillow. you two continued to talk, catching up, throwing around jokes and making new ones. he mentioned how roki’s recent conquest of meeting a girl online and hooking up with her was completely fake, he would know, he spent the weekend with him.

“speaking of that, a-about what the guys were talking about earlier, the stuff about sending pictures?”

“what about it?”

“h-have you ever done stuff like that?”

“nah,” ten answered smoothly. he huffed, like he just fell back onto a bed. “don’t have any girls in my phone to do that.”

“you have me.”

“what?” ten bursted out laughing, and you felt all the shame and embarrassment rise up to your face. you were stupid for saying that, for thinking that was appropriate to say to some random dude you met online that’s probably was older than you and not interested in high schoolers.

“have you ever done that?” ten was calmed down now, breathing a bit heavier as he waited your response.

“no... not really interested in the people from my class.”

“from your class? are you interested in anyone else?”

“t-ten-kun... that’s...” your face felt like a million degrees. his voice was shooting straight to your stomach, making your thighs rub against each other.

“cmon y/n, you can tell me.” you closed your eyes and imagined that he was whispering directly into your ear, holding you against the wall, that pale hand was gripping your shoulder and working its way up-

“i think i like you, ten-kun,” you finally spilled. “and even though we’ve never met or anything like that- just this past year of knowing you and playing with you all the time... i think i got some stupid crush on you...”

ten was silent, and you wanted to fall into the floor after your confession. the earlier rush of excitement was quickly fleeting and once again being replaced by shame. he probably thought you were weird or gross, and he’s never going to-

“me too, i think.”

[czarojay]

This is going to be a long post of a long story of the very long eden i did not plan on going to today. Today i entered the vault at like 13:41 and told my friend i’d send a heart back once i’m done. I did not send the heart until after 15 o’clock.

I do vault, easy peasy, i sit down instead of just going home and that was the thing that started the butterfly effect.

Cutscene ends, a moth immediately friends me and who am i to deny a little bittle moth some friendship when they offer too? They latch onto my hand and honk. I head to eden, cause is that what they mean?? Do they want that??? I stand behind the barrier with them unsure, head back, they honk and friend another moth and then let go of my hand, offer hand and then drag me into eden. I named that moth preedenmoth

I only had like 110 stars, since i went to eden yesterday, but thats fine, because my moth sitting instincts are in place. I see a moth? Protect the moth. Do not let the moth get krilled.

In the eden social area i quickly change from chibi to tall since i had a feeling it’d be needed and boy, good choice cause this would be a NIGHTMARE if i didn’t do that. I mean this trip wasa nightmare anyways, but it was adorable???? Back to the story!

We open the door, enter, we’re in a lobby full of MOTHS, the leading moth ( preedenmoth) goes up the stairs... and jumps into the rocks, we all get flung with the wind until everything goes white and i’m back... and alone.

I head on thinking to myself “hey since im here might as well get the winged lights!” and when im by the door i see something in the corner of my screen-

IT’S THEM PREEDENMOTH! AND THEY JUMPED OFF THE CLIFF RIGHT BY THE END OF THE FIRST AREA!

So i go after the moth and get them safely this time to the first winged light and we go on and that’s when the real story begins.

another 5 moths appeared with us on the other side, cutscene ensues, i lit two of the moths and they flock to me. I lead them safely, everything good until the tubes and two krills area. I lead my moth and two additional moths and we’re sitting in the safe area waiting for the krill to pass, when two asshats barge in and krill all of us. I have never seen so many stars going FLYING at once! Then i light them by accident. And not asshats krilling on purpose, just moths who are a danger to themselves and everyone around. I lost two moths back then, never seen them even when i went back to find them again. RIP

I get my preedenmoth and the two dangermoths and we go on! Once again everything goes smooth until... The last area before the point of no return. The dangermoths follow me and then preedenmoth looses hold on my hand and gets noticed by the krill also leading it straight into the corridor and like 12 stars go flying and that would be satisfying if I wasn’t trying to lead moths safely.

Then the preedenmoth kept honking until i followed it to the point of no return. At which point i sighed heavily and went in, second day in a row, slightly debating just adding eden to my candle run route. You get a candle in the orbit, right? the saying "you can't help everyone" was made specifically for me when im in eden full of moths

that point was also when i made a discovery. the moth is so scared they wont go anywhere without holding my hand in the ouchie zone, so i simply held their hand and dragged them around which was cool really, up until the super ouchie zone. I emoted them to follow me then pointed towards the super ouchie zone and they started walking on their own! They grow up so fast! They were still super scared and as i went into constant rock fall, i caught them trying to hide behind a rock smaller than their height which was adorable and also super sad. And then they died and started following me as a ball of light. And then i died and i was super ready to go on... when we get teleported to one of the earlier moths! Take a shot every time i say moth

They stayed in the first eden area and were hiding behind rocks and scared of going n so we just honked at them either to get them to go faster or to reassure them, can’t speak for preedenmoth lmao, who kept trying to unlock higher friendship levels which was really impressive considering we were dead.

Then they started playing their horn, which :O !!!

that’s when i found out you can play instruments as a spirit when in eden if you stand close to the statues and keep you lit. So i started playing Memory(his theme), then lost woods, then song of storms, waterfall, trying to make them less scared to go on, which was super finicky considering i could only play when close to fire. 

Preedenmoth decided to go on without waiting for others and i stayed one on one with the scared moth.

the game gave me the  "move on ALONE without others?" and both times i said no cause i just felt bad for this poor poor moth, so i just played since since my moth left they seemed to stand more near the statues.

And, i may not be the brightest person, considering that after around 5 minutes of this, playing on my spirit piano it hit me.

I'VE FIGURED IT OUT! The terrified moth keeps standing near statues cause that's the only time i play so they stand then cause they're less scared this is so sad! Like it actually made me hide my head in hands!! EDEN IS SO TRAGIC TT-TT

To give you an idea how long it took for them to die, it would be me being asked around five times by the game “ DO YOU WANT TO GO ON ALONE “

I waited another 15 minutes for them to come to the orbit, considering it takes a while for new players to figure out what to do with the shiny child and then they were here! I pulled out the table, and tried talking with them... And they were japanese so no talk for me but we added each other! And now i have a moth named Scared Lost wood friend. We leave the orbit together after one last play of waterfall...

And i open the friend tab and send my friend the heart back. At 15:02. 

every time i go to eden with moths i have a new story to tell.

[utenthy]

lee my dear mutual lee ur aa posting has inspired me and i am now going 2 play the games do u know which one I should start with?? :0

WHEEEEEEE SPINS YOU AROUND IN A CIRCLE IM SO EXCITED TO HEAR THIS

ok so people debate about the order a bit because there’s some spin-offs but here is my general understanding and also personal opinion of what order you should play the games in.

1. phoenix wright ace attorney. you must play this one first. it is the first game and sets up everything

2. ace attorney justice for all. the second game in the Main Trilogy. introduces important characters and also a new game mechanic (the magatama) that is crucial going forward

3. ace attorney trials and tribulations. has the meat of The Lore of the main trilogy characters. a very very very good game

you could honestly stop there and have a totally satisfying narrative! these are the first three and they all go together to tell one big story. and it wraps it up nicely! if you want to play the rest of the series you have some options because there’s spin-offs but my plan is to go like this

4. apollo justice ace attorney (im playing this one right now)

5. miles edgeworth investigations (this is an optional spinoff but i like edgeworth) which takes place chronologically before apollo justice actually but i have aj checked out from the library so im in a hurry. i watched the first case and a half of this before rushing off to ajaa

at that point i wanna reevaluate whether i want to keep going and play dual destinies and spirit of justice because im really not sure. ive heard bad things ab soj and i don’t care too much for the style of the newer mainline games. i may play them because i want to see athena. oh there’s also a second edgeworth investigations game which never got an official translation which i DO plan on trying to play at some point cuz there’s a fan translation. is this too much information is your brain shriveling up yet. sorry. there’s also a professor layton crossover game WAIT I FORGOT DGS there’s another pair of spinoffs that take place in the victorian era with phoenixs ancestor who is friends with sherlock holmes. all this to say this game series is an enormous commitment and even i who enjoys it very much will probably Not Ever play all of these games. anyway you literally only asked me which one to start with. PHOENIX WRIGHT ACE ATTORNEY! the rest. oh man. we can cross that bridge when we come to it 😭

[theimprobabledreamersworld]

Yayy! Despite trying to fight off a monster of a cold, I’ve got a new chapter written! :D

As I mentioned yesterday, this one is written from Logan’s POV because I’ve been wanting to create a back story for him in this story :) 

I’ll post the chapter under a line on here, but please check it out on Ao3 too! I love reading comments and stuff to find out what people think :)

Hope you like it!

Taglist: @psychedelicships  @edupunkn00b  @jwillowwolf @kacklingisanart @look-ma-im-on-tv @stardustlv @lost-in-thought-20

Chapter 5. My Heart Was Made Of Stone. And You Broke It Twice.

“But the wind has changed. My walls are weakening. They’re gonna fall soon. And I’m gonna need you.”

Logan was a man who always kept his emotions in check. He never let himself get too consumed by any kind of feeling. Happiness, sadness, love, hate, anger… Ever since he was sixteen, he refused to be vulnerable ever again. If you’re vulnerable, you can be broken. He had been broken far too many times when he was growing up.

His parents were agreeable, he couldn’t deny that… but he was never enough for them. Even as a young child, nothing was quite good enough. He remembered when the class teacher told his parents that he was the first child to learn how to write his name… he stretched up to show them and they let the paper flutter to the floor saying it wasn’t neat enough. He was only four! It got worse as he got older. Every time he was proud of something he had achieved, like getting a high grade, he was always asked why it wasn’t full marks. The unattainable goals were never reached and it took a lot to even vaguely satisfy them. He worked himself into the ground for the entirety of his school life, it affected his health, but they still weren’t happy. He was never strong enough, creative enough, serious enough, smart enough… and it hurt so much to know that. His friends however were amazing, they would always encourage him and make him take breaks when they knew he was working way too hard. They could always cheer him up and he was eternally grateful for that. Logan clenched his fists… he hated how much it knocked him down when he would walk in smiling over something that happened at school, to be told they weren’t interested and to just go and study. He always set himself up for the fall almost every day… no wonder emotions became such a hinderance. Luckily, music was his salvation for about eight years.

Logan took his head out of his hands, readjusted his eyes to the light and felt how raw they were from crying before staring at the dusty piano in the house intently. He used to be pretty good at playing. He loved his classical music, and still does. Just not playing it anymore. When he still had lessons, he was always thrilled with the challenge of increasingly difficult pieces given to him by his teacher. It was funny, his music teacher was the only person who ever truly believed in him. He was also the one person who could convince Logan to perform. The last concert he ever played in was the day before his sixteenth birthday, he played his most difficult piece to date… Chopin’s Fantasie Impromptu Op 66. They decided on that because it was originally a piece that no one was ever supposed to hear, Chopin never wanted it to be released after he died… but they did it anyway. His teacher said that he could then perform it however he wanted to, artistic interpretation and all that. He practiced and practiced at school so his parents wouldn’t hear it before. When it got to the concert, and his parents actually turned up, he was genuinely surprised. He walked out on the stage and sat down looking for his teacher who gave him a smile and a thumbs up, then the music began. He felt almost like he was watching himself play, he had never played with such determination before and as the final note rung out… there was silence. Before the room broke out into applause, his teacher was standing up clapping vigorously, then some of his classmates and other parents stood up too. His parents however were sat down, clapping politely with a neutral expression on their faces and Logan’s smile faltered. He gave a quick bow and walked quickly off the stage. His teacher followed him and gave him a hug while telling him how proud he was. Logan couldn’t stop the tears, he had never cried in front of another person, but no one had ever been proud of him before either. How embarrassing. The first time he had been shown positive interest by someone he respected, and he cried until the top of their shirt was damp with his tears. His teacher just held him and told him everything was okay. After he had calmed down and the tears had stopped, he went to go and join his parents for the second half of the concert, but their seats were empty.

In that moment, he didn’t get upset again and stayed unusually calm, and he knew that this was the final straw. He stayed at a hotel for the night at the insistence of his teacher, that way he could sort out his head and start looking up different apartment options. Which he did realise could be tricky as a sixteen-year-old… but he was smart, reliable, didn’t drink or smoke and had a substantial amount of money at his disposal. He waited until the morning and snuck back into his parent’s house to collect all of the things that he deemed necessary. Thankfully, the hotel manager was understanding and let him stay for the bare minimum price until he could find an apartment for himself. It took a few months, and the landlord had to be persuaded by his music teacher, but he found an apartment which was close to everything he needed and was affordable. One day, he would repay that teacher back for everything he had done for him.

He looked at the calendar, the picture of him and Virgil smiling and holding up their wedding ring hands was taunting him on the wall. He noticed the date. Wow, it had been ten years since he left without looking back, and he never heard a single word from them.

That was clearly for the best.

Ever since then, he never let emotions get the better of him ever again. However, as he looked around at the decimated living room, he had clearly broken and let all of those emotions consume him once again. Logan inspected the damage, as he traced the hole in the wall, the shattered photo frames and glass covering the floor, it caused his heart to fill up with regret. His heart was already full of pain, the regret was enough to make his heart quite literally tear in two. Virgil was the first person he felt like he could be vulnerable with again. When they first met, there was something about him, something that reminded him of himself. Maybe this guy was just as broken as he was, as he saw him hiding in the corner of the coffee shop trying to stay away from the world. He told Virgil this many times, but he had encased his heart in stone to keep it safe. As their relationship developed, as stupid as it sounds, he could feel the stone wall cracking and breaking off piece by piece, and he honestly didn’t mind in the slightest.

Now, he didn’t know what was going on with his heart. He was hurt, he was angry. It’s not every day you find out that the man you’ve been married to for the last five years spent most of his life as a well-trained and dangerous assassin. Going by Virgil’s words alone, the body count to his name is staggering and who knows how many people he’s hurt over the years. The argument they had earlier in the evening was playing on repeat in his mind.

“I couldn’t tell you!” Virgil shouted across the room.

“Why the hell not?! I’m your fucking HUSBAND Virgil, you are supposed to trust me. No matter what’s happened in your past!” Logan rubbed his forehead in frustration.

“Okay, you want to know why I hid everything from you? I did it to PROTECT you! My past is something that can be used against me, it is still being used against me. If anyone from it came after you… I would never be able to forgive myself!” The tears wouldn’t stop rolling down Virgil’s face as he spluttered out the words while his body shook with sobs.

Despite the hurt of seeing Virgil in so much pain, Logan couldn’t contain his anger. “What makes you decide if I need protecting? I can handle myself, ever since I was sixteen I’ve been on my own… You know that!”

Virgil sighed, like he was debating whether or not to say his next sentence.

“Remember when we met all those years ago? You told me about how you were attacked and how scared you were after it? Well… it was me. I was the guy who saved you. Every day since that moment, I vowed that I would protect you no matter the cost. Then I fell in love with you along the way, and I’ll love you until the end of time. If you want to know the truth about me, I know he gave you something. Look at it, and I won’t blame you if you try to turn me in to the police afterwards. I have to go now though, otherwise you will get hurt… I’m sorry, Lo.” Logan was left dumbfounded, and Virgil ran out of the front door, slipping away into the night.

There had been so many lies and too many secrets. He remembered that USB stick he threw in a drawer months ago. He opened it up and stared at the blue object, the label that read ‘Virgil… ?’ taunted him mercilessly. He looked over at his open laptop that was spared from his destructive anger, should he look at it?

Logan shook that thought away instantly, he needed to clear up first before making any kind of decision. He crouched down on the floor and started to sweep the glass over towards the sofa with his hand, just so he could clean it properly soon. He got to the first photograph, him and Virgil sitting in a restaurant holding hands and smiling at the camera. That picture was taken by Thomas and Nico, their two closest friends… He thought he should text them and see if they could come over. Virgil left half an hour ago, and he already felt too alone.

He’d contact them later, but for now. He wanted to stare at photographs and revel in his memories.

[reeesea]

Something Sweet: Part Three

~sweet beginnings~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, jisung/minho

warning: mild language 

words: 2.5k ish

summary: sweet beginnings and small apartments, also Seungmin baby shows up 

a/n: Im honestly just proud of myself for posting a third chapter woo!! lemme know if you read and enjoyed <3

also the spacing got wack trying to do the text convos, so hope the bold and non bold isn't too gross to look at. Minho and Jisung

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Minho wakes up to the sun streaming in through the thinly veiled curtains over his window. Thankfully he woke up to a minimal headache in spite of having gone out to the bar and an impromptu concert the night before. Rolling over in his small twin sized bed he reached for his phone to check the time and any potentially important notifications. 

9:26 am 

[ 2 new messages from Rich Boy Han Jisung ]

Minho finds himself smiling at the new messages from the boy that had stumbled upon him last night. 

2:25 am

Youre right I do hear it all the time

but it sounds pretty sweet coming from you ;} 

I'll tell J.One you thought he was amazing

9:28 am

Careful Han, your cockiness is showing

Jisungs’s cocky demeanor does nothing but make him more endearing to the older, but something gave Minho the impression that the boy already knew this. Not expecting a reply from the other this early in the morning, Minho stretched out of bed and made his way out of his small bedroom and quietly to the shared bathroom. Not a small feat in the old apartment shared by him and his roommates. Creaky floorboards, squeaky doors, and over all close proximity to each other makes being quietly courteous in the morning a frequent challenge for the boys. 

The living room at the end of the small hallway was turned into a shared bedroom for Minho's two roommates. Felix’s mattress had gotten a bed frame from some trading website a few months back when he moved in. The makeshift wall of hung shower curtains and a fold out screen gave the boys the illusion of privacy between their respective sides of the room. Even though more times than not, Minho has come home to find the lanky brunette curled up in Felix's bed instead of on his designated couch. 

Climbing over the piles of the boys’ clothes, Minho makes it to the bathroom without disturbing the other two. The two were still passed out from working their night shifts, draped over each other on the freckled boy’s bed. Neither showed signs of awakening any time in the morning hours. Minho showered quickly and changed in order to make his way out of the apartment and on his way to the studio to practice his Saturday away

Minho would have thought that the both of them would have remained in their university dorms for the summer, if they weren’t able to find apartments on their own. But, at some point after he had graduated, he had gained himself plus two of his underclassmen as roommates. He really couldn't complain though, it all made sense as all three of them were a part of the same dance studio, barely a block away, and all had reasons to be saving money. Paying a fraction of rent really helped with all that had to be saved in order to pay for school, studio fees, living, breathing, and most importantly audition fees. 

As the summer had set in, so had the wave of audition opportunities for companies and crews. Felix had mentioned needing to prepare a video audition last week for a few entertainment companies in the area. Hyunjin was busy trying to save up his money to pay for the upcoming semesters at school to graduate like Minho had. 

Entering the practice room and being welcomed by the distinctive scent of a dance studio was enough to bring Minho back to reality. Since graduating, he had been stuck in his thoughts about what to do with his future a lot. His childhood dreams of getting into the prestigious Yellow Wood Dance Academy seemed to slip farther away from him with every passing year. His audition tapes each year during university were almost always sent back, along with a ‘We are sorry to inform you…’

 It’s not like Minho couldn't keep applying, but with every year the rejection stung a little bit more, and he wasn't sure if he would be able to take another blow. No matter how confident Minho acted about his looks, when it came to dancing his ego was glass fragile. His passion for dance sometimes felt like the only thing that kept him standing, but it had been a while since he had felt rewarded for his dedication. Even when his practically broken dream haunted him a little too much, focusing back to his craft really gave him a better grasp on reality. Making his way to the front of the room to plug in his phone to pick music, a new notification popped up. 

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

10:03am 

dw dw its all fake i assure you, all just a ploy to get you to like me

What you up to on this fineee saturday mornin??

Hmmm wouldnt you like to know 

i only tell boys i like so...

Minho smiled in spite of himself. Even over text the sparkly eyed boy was able to pull out and dust off his genuine smile. It had definitely been a while since Minho had found himself freely smiling, but here comes Han Jisung crash landing into his life, running amuck. After spending a moment debating whether or not just to tell the younger of his activities anyway, he came to the conclusion that mentioning dance would only result in more questions, and Minho really wasn't feeling like spilling his passions and dreams with the other already.

Haha i am only even more motivated now >:D

Dont strain yourself too much with that, 

im just enjoying my saturday before my shift later.

Queuing up some music Minho migrated to the middle of the room to casually freestyle and warm up for the day. Allowing the music to flood his ears, movements to take over his limbs, and only his feet to remind him of where he was, Minho’s mind went blank as he began to relax and give up control of his body to the steady beats of the song.

---

By the time Minho wrapped up his practice and was  heading home the sun was already starting to settle on the lower half of the sky. Surprisingly the day had passed him by quickly. Spending the whole day grinding out a routine he had been recently working to perfect was not usually an overall fun time, but Minho found that he was able to keep his practice productive and enjoyable. 

His smile throughout the day certainly had nothing to do with his breaks to text to Jisung. The casual banter between them felt natural, and the light conversation made him feel lighter on his feet as he moved across the floor. Even with the flirty nature of their introduction, their conversation never steered far from how anyone would expect two close friends to interact. Minho found himself smiling more throughout the day as he checked Jisung’s messages throughout the morning and afternoon. 

12:25 pm

Also for the record my capacity to flirt is honestly quite unimpressive 

I hope you aren’t talking to me for my stage charisma and charm 

To sweep you off you feet, i may be a disappointment

Usually i'm just awkward, cant flirt, doesnt leave the house, Jisung

You almost tripped over your feet walking into the bar last night

Dw im not sure id want you to sweep me off my feet with that balance

You wound me ;--;

 By talking to Jisung, he had somehow managed to satisfy all of Minho’s previous curiosities while sparking new ones. Even with Minho generally avoiding giving away his own personal interests and dreams, Jisung didn't hold those same reservations and filled their conversation with “fun facts” and lively stories. Jisung’s lively play by play of the bickering taking place between his group mates, now officially introduced as Chan and Changbin, had Minho giggling on the floor of the practice room. The way Jisung described everything brought it to life in ways that he hadn’t expected from a casual text conversation. The boy was definitely a great storyteller even just over type, and Minho found himself wondering if he would get to hear his endless stories in person.

---

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

3:36 pm

Youre one interesting man Lee Minho

Han, you know almost nothing about me

On the contrary I feel like I know a good amount

Youre name is Lee Minho

You work at the fancy restaurant Menu 98

You used to work at the bar we were at last night

You have a really beautiful smile

…

Are you quite done

Definitely not but if i start going off about how stunning your eyes are 

you might block me

Which would be a shame please dont

What happened to awkward Jisung who cant flirt huh?

Minho returned to the small apartment to find Felix attempting to cook some ramen in the microscopic kitchen and Hyunjin sprawled across the couch watching some variety show. Felix was probably fueling up in order to spend the night gaming the weekend away before his work overtook his weekdays again. Hyunjin barely looked to be conscious but still managed to wave a greeting to Minho as he walked into the room. 

“How’d practice go?” 

“Pretty well. Finally was able to clean up that middle section I’ve been messing up.” Minho hurried into the other room to shower once again before heading to the restaurant for his evening shift. 

“Oh glad to hear it.” Felix’s voice filtered in from his place by the stove that was shoved in a corner of the room, along with a fridge and a sink that barely classified it as a kitchen unit. None of the three were complaining, the stove heated up their ramen water and the fridge kept their milk cold, what more could they ask for?

“WAIT, did you talk to that guy at the bar last night???” Hyunjin’s loud voice carried from the couch through their thin walls allowing Minho to clearly hear even if his bedroom door was closed. 

“Which one, Jinnie?? You gotta be more clear than that.” Minho had actually stacked up a few numbers from his night and received atleast ten free drinks from other patrons. Not too bad for the first night out, but of course the only phone number he had bothered messaging happened to be the one he had been texting all day.

“You know the one, the rapper one you left to go see perform.” Minho of course knew, but he wasn't gonna admit it to his roommate so easily, and just hummed in response eliciting a groan from the younger. 

“If you haven’t, you so should. 3racha is all everyone from the bar is talking about. Their concert must have been a big deal or something.” 

“WHAT, 3RACHA? You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Felix, apparently a fan, shuffles in with his ramen in hand to accompany the loud outburst.

“Hyung! One of them gave you their number?? They’re literally like the next big thing in the music scene. Which one of them was it?”  

J.One, Han Jisung, the cute pink hoodie guy

“His name is Jisung I’m pretty sure.” Minho was very sure. “I didnt know they were such a big deal” 

“J.One gave you his number? Damn hyung, you don't even know. They’ve been performing locally for years but their fan base has grown a ton in the last year. There’s rumors that they've signed with a company and are going to come out with something soon.” Felix continued spouting off information on the group to them, as Minho continued his routine of preparing for work at Menu 98. 

---

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

4:35 pm

Looks like my roommate is a fan of you guys

We’re not talking the tall beautiful bartender from last night right

No that was Hyunjin, Felix is the fan

beautiful?

Ah atleast ill be on the good side of one of ur roomies

Yeah tall boy was pretty, but something about him made me think he didnt like me

I think it was his face, and his height

Most tall pretty boys dont take too well to a squirrel boy being in their territory ya know. 

Whats not to like about a cute squirrel boy

Im sure he likes you and youre over thinking

If his two roommates like you, he’ll have to like you by association

:o 

Did Lee Minho just admit to liking me 

Wow the development, less than 24 hours 

We love to see it

Your ridiculous

I said nothing of the sort

Sure sure hyung

Gtg now, dinner shifts starting

Have fun at work!!!!

(wait can i call you hyung???)

Minho left him on read as he walked into the restaurant, already bustling with waiters and the changing of shifts for the dinner crowd. ‘Less than 24 hours’ and Minho was already admitting indirectly that he liked the boy he had only just properly met the night before. Stranger things have happened he supposed. Minho continued to surprise himself with this one though. He was not one to seek out friendships or relationships. Anything more than the very occasional one night stand, was practically void from Minho’s social life. Other than the people he had met through dance and his roommates, there were very few others that Minho had chosen to form any kind of relationship with. Even his co-workers were mostly just faces and names he had to remember in order to do his job well. 

Well, expect Seungmin.

“You look awfully happy today, who spiked your coffee this morning?” Seungmin had been a newly inserted character in Minho’s life but they became fast friends after a few too many late night shifts without proper caffeination. 

Seungmin had been a newly hired host at Menu 98, just the average polite university student with enough experience to get hired. When Minho met him they exchanged the basic pleasantries and thought that would be the end of that, until one fated closing shift. A certain, tipsy, entitled, rich, high class asshole of a customer had held up Minho’s section for much of the night. Minho found himself being bossed around and verbally berated throughout the night, trying to serve the women who appeared to never be satisfied with the food or service Minho was offering. By the end of the night, she was their last customer and Minho saw her to the front to pay. His customer service smile, strained and barely holding up, and the woman’s complaints, even while paying, had him wanting to drop all his pleasantries and curse her out as she waltzed out the door.

    “What an absolute fucking pain in the ass of a woman”

Minho hadn’t thought he had said his thoughts aloud, but looked up to catch Seungmin, who had let the words come out in hushed tones as he held a sickening polite smile on his face. After that point the two had bonded over various pain in the ass customers and a mutual love for sarcastic backhanded insults. Minho's relationship with Seungmin was probably the closest thing to a friendship that the older had experienced in a while. 

“No spiked coffee, sadly” 

“Well something’s making your usual sad bitch face smile, so it's gotta be good. Hmm...Meet someone?” Seungmin’s signature puppy eyes were on full display, but not without the signature  mischievous glint they always held. 

“Well wouldn't you like to know Seungmo~ but me and my usually flawlessly beautiful face got to go charm our way into some extra tips.” Minho gave the boy a gentle pat on his head, that was met with a stubborn pout forming at the younger’s lips.

“You definitely met someone, you usually don't have this much self-confidence so early into the evening.” Minho did nothing but giggle at his comment and made his way to the back room to begin his shift. 

------

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

[moviestorian]

Im glad the asks helped! I have anxiety and depression and can understand what youre going through. My ask today is what are your thoughts on Bo Rhap as a movie?

Thanks! :) I’m above all extremely happy to see people on this site being so kind and supportive in time of need, it’s a human quality that will never get enough praise! I’m also really sorry to hear about your problems. :( I send you lots of love, I can imagine how difficult it must be for you, but I’m sure you're strong and coping❤️

As for your actual question - that’s some truly excellent and interesting timing, considering that I rewatched BoRhap (with @incblackbird) literally three days ago. :P It was already my third rewatch, and while I enjoyed the movie overall, I liked it quite significantly less than upon the last time I saw it. Of course, there’s been gazillion discourses about BoRhap, whether it’s genius, extremely evil, etc., but since it’s such a broad topic (and I think some of my opinions could potentially outrage certain parts of the fandom), this time I’m going to stick to purely cinematic terms.

Needless to say, the soundtrack is excellent - with music such as Queen’s you don’t really have to do much, but they made a good choice of songs, alternating between their best known hits (We Will Rock You, Somebody to Love, Bohemian Rhapsody) and songs to fit the narrative (Doing All Right, Now I’m Here, Who Wants to Live Forever, Love of my Life). It’s practically impossible to leave the screening of BoRhap without at least one Queen song stuck in your head.

The cast was overall very good, too. My personal favourites in terms of acting were Gwilym Lee (who I liked even more than Rami), Rami Malek, Lucy Boynton and Allen Leech - I think they did a great job with their roles as they were written (whether their characters were well written or not is a subject for a whole another discussion). All the side characters were well acted, too (Mike Myers, Meneka Das and Aaron McCusker, for instance, I found particularly memorable), but I must admit I wasn’t a big fan of Joe Mazzello and Ben Hardy, but even they weren’t bad. So, acting is definitely one of the strongest points of the film.

Moving on, I also think they did a great job when it comes to costumes (Brian lending some of his old clothing definitely helped) and make-up (except for Roger’s wigs, perhaps); the choreography and stage movement for the characters were super well done, too - and it definitely wasn’t an easy task!

Now, let’s discuss cinematography. I will talk about editing in a separate paragraph, so for now I’m gonna stick to other aspects. The composition of shots struck me as rather mediocre, nothing particularly exceptional in either good or bad way, it was pretty basic but rather correct. Of course, there were some shots I really liked, but if I were to start adding screenshots the post would become way too long. XD The colours I really liked, especially in the musical scenes - they were vivid and lovely, and they used a combination of colours that I tend to appreciate in cinema, like various shades of blue and red. Finally, the camerawork - for dialogue scenes it was correct; again, rather average with some use of handheld camera which served no particular dramatic purpose, but it wasn’t nowhere near very bad, also it’s quite a common thing in modern biopics I would say. Handheld camerawork isn’t bad in default, but my comment largely comes from my personal preferences: in most cases I don’t really like it, especially when it’s particularly shaky. Then, there are scenes in BoRhap which display excellent camerawork, namely Live Aid and We Will Rock You scenes. If most scenes were filmed like that, I would give the movie a higher rating.

Before I move to the worst (imo) cinematic aspects of the movie, let’s have a look at writing. It is probably the most divisive thing in the fandom - people seem to either adore or absolutely loathe it; my stance lies somewhere inbetween. The first time I saw the film (I’m gonna remind you that I’ve seen it four times), I had certain objections, but the script didn’t bother me all that much; I was mostly simply having fun in the cinema. With every next watching, the experience was getting gradually worse, but even now I don’t hate the movie. Yes, some of the dialogue is cheesy, trite and makes me cringe a bit - certain parts of the script definitely end on an “overly sentimental” territory, I can’t deny that. Knowing quite a lot about Freddie, Queen and their stories, I generally think they deserve a better script; some characterisation was a bit offputting and chronology was all over the place. Having said that, I understand where some of those narrative choices come from, as scripts for mainstream movies require oversimplification of events, archetypes, and patterns. And quite frankly, I don’t think BoRhap differs any drastically from most modern biopics; it’s not a masterpiece, but - in my opinion - it’s also not bad overall. Regardless the flaws of the script, the movie still managed to emotionally affect a huge, if not major, portion of viewers, entertain and move them, and honestly? I think that was pretty much the point. Btw, there were some lines that I really loved, like “Puritans in public, perverts in private”, and I still think that their decision to cut from Live Aid performance to Ray Foster’s grim face during We Are the Champions was the funniest shit ever. XD Would BoRhap’s script benefit from sticking to historical accuracy? I’m gonna say yes, I think so - the scenes that were the closest to actual events are definitely the strongest - but this approach would require tons of changes, including narrowing down the narrative scope and probably the characters, too. Also, a lot of people keep forgetting that this is not an arthouse, niche film and therefore resorts to narrative and cinematic choice that compromise between satisfying the fans and the newbies; it’s meant to tell a (simple) story and entertain, not educate and provoke existential and philosophical debates. Still, I think the script could have been done a bit better, because some scenes  (the tour “Now I’m Here” montage) feel a bit...random?

Finally, the infamous editing. I totally agree that it was one of the most undeserving Academy Awards that year, because some scenes were simply atrocious, with their unmotivated and overly fast cuts and unreasonably ridiculous face that doesn’t fit the dialogue scenes, and those are honestly the worst when it comes to pacing and editing. I think the editing is the worst aspect of BoRhap; but even here, I could point at some examples of pretty amazing editing (Oscar-worthy? Not necessarily, but definitely very good); again, I’m gonna bring up Live Aid and “We Will Rock You” scenes, especially the latter, because less people talk about it. I already mentioned that it has some really nice camerawork AND colours, but also the editing is actually really cool, because it’s cut to the music! Which makes me think: “what a shame!”, because if they went with different editing choices, the movie would be affected in a positive way. The way we have it, it’s either a hit or miss (sadly, mostly miss), and the badly edited scenes are pretty striking, so the ones that are done nicely are unfortunately a wasted potential.

Okay, this is already waaay too long, so I’m just gonna finish with a few general remarks. Well, despite BoRhap’s flaws, I still like and enjoy it. With every screening slightly less, but enjoy it anyway. I don’t think any amount of discourse will ever take away my positive experiences and memories from seeing it twice in cinema. It sparked my previously dormant love for Queen and united me with some people in the fandom and in real life; making this movie made Brian and Roger happy; as a result, I like this movie. It brings back a lot of positive recollections, which sometimes is more important than critical discussions. And boy, do I adore those - I’m often critical and I adore analysing stuff academically; but I think that not all daily interactions require those and depending on who’s asking and what about, I’m capable of switching between the two options. If somebody asks me in 25 years whether I remember the times of BoRhap’s release, I’ll be far less likely to say “yeah, the editing sucked and writing was cringy, I remember the discourse on tumblr and instagram” than “Yes, I remember that chilly evening in December when I had a really fun time and ended up with 10 Queen songs stuck in my head”, because the latter is the experience I want to remember.

Thank you for this ask! Hope it wasn’t overly exhausting to read, I didn’t proofread this, sorry! xx

[meandmyechoes]

diary 3. discourse prelude. 

[05/Oct/2020 at 07:56am]

I don’t feel the same way about giffing like I used to. It was a labour of love, it was spontaneous. Now it feels like a lot of calculation and a never-ending task. I still like it, but’d rather shake up the mode of delivery again. I tried jumping on an idea and it didn’t feel as great as even a month ago when I was doing the same leap. I keep backtracking on goals I set out and my inspiration has run dry for several weeks now. Although I had an incredibly long list, it’d be a good thing if I keep coming up with new ideas. It’s sad because it no longer feels a comfy form of expression. I’d have too much calculation going on and it hurts. This is on my own part and not any external factors. I mean, the tumblr culture right now just encourages me to care not about notes, but only the comments and I’ve been satisfied just fine. Getting the post done is after all my primary goal.

Then, it’s like I’d rather do 10 other things, and time is never enough. It’s so hard to go on without seeing the end; even if The End™ is pointless and false. I’m also desperate to do other forms of expression, like writing or drawing, now that it feels like I “unlocked” a higher skill.

And all of that takes time and I have no patience :(

[07/Oct/2020 at 01:04am]

Not to sound dramatic but the many of you shipping rex*oka please tell me you are doing it for crack

like, I want to be a decent person, and my official statement regarding this blog still stands effective , (because it’s written that way as an inclusive failsafe so I don’t overwork my brain):

but gawd, i get emotional sometimes, and i feel very threatened discovering more of you are closet rex*oka shippers, or at least, condone this behaviour. I’d be generalizing all of you from bad rep and it’s stupid and drags me down to their level; and I know I’m being paranoid and it makes no sense to fret over nothing! but i still feel that way on my most vulnerable nights.

I don’t understand how people, even neutral on the ship, did not comprehend how WEAK the arguments themselves are, or how contradictory their narrative is. Without a sentiment on the topic, couldn’t you see the essay is poorly written? Why does this happen again after I left school? Why are we all baugettes regardless of cause?

But it’s silly to think that way. It's silly to let negativity bias blind me. No one holds personal loyalty towards an internet stranger. One should fully exercise what they please in the realm of their blog. and frankly it’s not my business and it’s up to me and my feelings to get over it. (which as experimented, takes about 24 hours. let’s hope we can expedite this every time it happens later)

[07/Oct/2020 at 01:15am]

how many time do I have to remind myself: not everyone sees what is obvious to you and maybe you should say it more often because sometimes people are just ignorant in an innocent way and you should bring more good into this world by salvaging them

and

it’s not capitalist to educate. (yes including yourself, ignorance is blissful for a reason.)

#tonight i’m developing a fever and realize I might have a social responsibility to publish The Sociological Analysis.

[07/Oct/2020 at 01:42am]

*is stressed*

*impatiently does more complicated tasks to destress*

#*fall asleep* #*wakes up hating myself*

[Oct 7th, 2020 7:43:34am]

Genuinely asking: …is there anyway for my citing ass to write a solid counter post without posting screenshots of “shit rex*oka says”?

look, even in my current irrational paranoia from feeling betrayed that more in my following condone the ship, I still find what’s essentially a callout, based on bits of irl relationships shippers, who are still people, shared in the illusion of safety on the internet, offensive, and it’s more about how morally wrong I feel to inflict that upon another being. But that's… also how debates work: your words are accountable and will be picked apart. Furthermore, I couldn’t stress how important it is as a rule for me to understand what’s going on in one’s heart that produces such wild claim.

It’s the last thing I want to incite negativity but something needs to be said and I shouldn’t be afraid to say it, and have faith not all is lost.

As much as I dodge from art and fics as one could with them, I am more than willing to read a FOR post because I am really obsessed with know thine enemy (and self-destruction). Sorry but I honestly think it’s the prosecution’s duty to prove. Yet I’ve failed to find one case that presents the two characters’ inherent dynamic as romantic hints, but rather justification for why the shippers are wrongly prosecuted on technicality of certain accusations. Yes, you can and should ship whatever you want, but Problematic Ships should not extend to propagation, especially not under hollow defense. The “problematic” part should be acknowledged, not just within the couple dynamic itself, but of wider social implications that every civil person has an obligation to.

#you can like something and like it privately#that’s what self-discipline means#i originally has this tagged anti rexsoka but it evolves into a general sentiment about shipping haha

(I got past it at 9am)

[8/10/2020 15:21]

been a bit haywire lately.

okay as we all know, there was a post FOR rex*oka earlier this week and I was completely flipped. Not only was it a long post occupying the main tcw tag, it also used my gifs without permission (albeit via tumblr credit). So while, it wasn’t the gif usage that I’m most angry about, I’m still disoriented from the repercussions of that post.

I understand the tumblr system has enabled gif usage so I was able to calmly ask the op to take down the gifs and luckily it was complied. But I can’t help but read the entire post AND the notes to see who liked and added to it. No surprise there with all the major shippers that I blocked and there’s no point to responding to any of their comments. But it hurts me to find out more people in my following actually condone that behaviour. I don’t think it’s too far gone to take a look at the notes on a very public post, even though it might not be expected.

And I see! from a lenient standpoint why people think rex*oka shippers should continue to ship what they want, but that doesn’t mean you have to circulate the word around. And I’m really hurt that some people in our fandom chose the wrong post to spread the message on ‘ship and let ship’.

I understand that not only am I Fandom Old, I’m also a few years older than a large part of this fandom. And I don’t wanna sound preachy or telling people what to do, but I came to realize something every year I age and I’ve learnt that there are some things one simply doesn’t comprehend at a young age. Or even, the fact throughout my life is, there always exists a gap of maturity between me and my peers. I shouldn’t be surprised to find the same phenomenon continues online.

but I guess what I really want to process through typing this diary, is how I am going to close the file on this fandom drama once and for all.

I’ve written several vent posts the other day in the drafts and I should’ve published one of the more level-headed ones. My opinion on this discourse flips back and forth and I need to make another statement so my case can rest. This long diary is after all a vent post and I think I’ll write another more factual in tone discussing why it’s problematic from a fresh perspective. I’ll have to say that post will be quite emotional too. But I’m not sure anymore if people have enough reading comprehension skills to decipher my masked language. It’s always tricky with the tone of these posts because I held my words accountable that they should stand the test of time, on top of being an irrefutable argument (that can only be beaten by myself).

[emsartwork]

How do you find inspiration for costume design? Yours are so detailed!

Thank you! I got this ask right after i posted the mythix designs so im gonna use those as examples, but i can do one on an original piece too if you want.

so the winx designs are a little easier to pull inspiration from because i already have a starting point, and usually i just tweak the original designs so they’re less crazy and garish, and actually suit the girl’s personality and preferred magic.  

so my starting point for mythix was….. this hot mess. the one thing i actually do like about this transformation are the wings. The concept of a fairytale transformation is cool but the execution is pretty lackluster, like…… they arent flippin going to prom whats with the cocktail dresses. 

anyways. i looooooove vintage illustrations as references for just about anything so there are a lot of those

Flora is based off of a latina actress, so i chose a mexican religious figure as her base. Santa Muetre is a really cool combo of indigenous mexican culture and the imported catholic tradition of saints, she’s honestly one of my favorite figures ever. I used some “classic” imagery(aka the first few images on google or wikipedia) as well as some photo’s from various Dia de Muertos parades. her color scheme is basically the mexican flag but with a little added yellow.

Bloom is based off of Cinderella, not really for ethnic reasons, but more the “ash/fire” association. So Cinderella has a questionable origin, from what i know its either from egypt, greece, or china, but the most popularized version is french written by Charles Perrault(or Ashchenputtle in Grims fairytales). I used mostly baroque(?) era clothing references, tho the skirt cage is def more victorian. I also tried to reference birds in her wings and accessories because of the role they play in some of the versions(giving her the dress to wear to the ball, picking seeds out of ashes, pecking out the eyes of the step sisters…… you know normal bird stuff) I actually managed to put bloom in pink and blue! but its really more of an coral color so it doesn’t clash with her hair lol.    

Musa is bassed on Mulan, who was a real historical person(debatable) elevated to “fairytale” esq. levels. but any ways i used a lot of actually classical chinese depictions of Mulan, and honestly Musa was the easiest design besides flora. I tried to give her legitimate chinese “armor” but like, magic it up a little. her spear/wand was hard tho but musa’s actual mythix wand is NOT great.

Tecna is bassed on Vasilissa the Brave/Wise/Beautiful(she has a lot of names and a lot of roles in russion folklore ok) the most well known tales are Vasilissa facing off with babayaga, her as the frog princess, and her as daughter of the sea king. I tried to pull from primarily the image of her with the lighted skull, but also pulled from historical russian fashion. Her color scheme was HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS. I could not get anything to work even when i pulled from the illustrations. eventually i pulled from the frog princess angle so she’s green and yellow.

Aisha is based on my bad ass bitch Scheherazaaaaaaade!!!! Seriously i loved this lady from childhood. Shceherazade is the fictional narrator of 1001 nights, a book set in Saudi Arabia (if i remember tho the author was actually chinese which is why is has sooooo many inaccuracies in regards to actually depicting Saudi Arabia lmao do ur research folks) So i can’t remember if these images are classical illustrations or not but they’re some of my favorite on the internet. The wand is supposed to be one of those feather things you use to brush off blotting sand from an ink letter(calling back to the story telling). I tried to get the original wing shapes to work but couldn’t so i pulled a pattern from the background of one of the images.

sometimes though you only need one image to use as a reference because its so frickin perfect. Stella is based off of Pythia, a prophet of Apollo at the temple of Delphi. Apollo is the god of the sun, healing, and prophecy in greek mythology, so i thought this was a really interesting “dark and mysterious” angle on Stella’s sun powers. The image i used as a reference is by John Collier in 1891. my design is basically a half and half combination of stella’s official mythix and the reference.

Thats about it! I usually just mix and match and tweak and change until im satisfied.