#demons who are mean to their houseplants

[ineffable-suffering]

Trauma-Dumping on your plants: The Anthony J. Crowley Chronicles

This has been living in my silly head rent free for so long, I finally decided to slap it on here in hopes of thinking about it a little less (than three times a day. It's been years. I need to get over it.)

Also, I'm absolutely certain I'm not even remotely the first person to realize or post about this, since it's not the hardest of parallels to figure out. Alas, I still shall, because out of mind, out of sight and all that. So:

Let's talk about how Crowley is using his houseplants to work through his own Trauma of the Fall. Or, well, maybe not work through it per se, but more so roleplay it to give it somewhat of an an outlet because he never got over it. Lol.

It's not rocket science to figure it out and God Herself actually gives us a pretty spot-on explanation of it in her own narration.

Crowley's plants are perfect. They're, as God Herself tells us, the most luxurious and beautiful in all of London. He takes great care of them, waters them, mists them. Does any and everything to give them the perfect conditions so they won't have a worry in the world.

And yet, we're immediately shown that despite the seemingly perfect conditions they're living in, Crowley's plants still get *gasps quietly* spots. And we all know how Crowley feels about that:

It seems like such an unnecessary tiny thing to get upset about, right? Like, plants get spots all the time. They're not perfect, they're part of nature and nothing is ever perfect in nature. Crowley would know that by now. Imperfection is the whole point of nature. If everything had stayed exactly the way it always was, nothing would have ever changed or evolved.

Besides, Crowley is a demon. If it were merely about aesthetics to him, he could easily miracle away any spot with a blink of his serpent eyes. But he gets so angry about it, it's almost comical. At first we think it's just to show us, the audience, that, in contrast to Aziraphale, who cares very dearly and lovingly for his books, Crowley is a mean, mean demon who, instead of being outwardly nice to the things he loves (like Aziraphale does), yells at his plants because he's a mean meanie.

But! If you look at the whole scene and what God says, it's pretty obvious what he's actually doing is something else entirely: "What Crowley does is he puts the fear of God in them. Or, the fear of Crowley. The plants are the most luxurious and beautiful in London. Also the most scared."

Folks, this man dude serpent is literally roleplaying the concept of God/Heaven threatening angels with their Fall in order to keep them obedient ... with his houseplants.

Have I mentioned yet that I am absolutely obsessed with him and also desperately wanna get him a therapy voucher?

Because what does he do once he sees a plant disobeying his rules of perfection and acting out? The same thing God did to her questioning, equally disobedient angels (including Crowley): Parade it in front of the very scared rest, making an example of it ...

... only to then, well ...

... quite literally chuck it out.

To anyone else, this seems like a completely ridiculous thing to do over a tiny, minuscule spot. There would have been a bunch of other ways to go about fixing that spot.

Figuring out what it was the plant needed that might not have been given to it yet.

Taking care of it in a different, individual way so it would have been able to thrive again.

Listening to the plant and letting it tell you why its spot appeared in the first place.

Telling the plant, that loves and relies on you entirely, you love it too, despite it not being without fault, despite of it not fully living up to your unreachable standards of perfection.

Caring for the plant not because you want it to be perfect, but because you're okay with it being imperfect.

(We're no longer talking about plants here, as you are probably aware.)

Alas, this isn't what Crowley does. Because it wasn't what God did, either. We still know very little about Crowley's actual Fall and the Fall of Lucifer and the rest. But we do know that Crowley was never like or even with them.

All he did was ask some questions. A tiny spot. A seemingly insignificant blemish in the luxurious, beautiful flora of Heaven.

And yet, before he knew it, he did a "million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulfur". Cast out, chucked away, just like his little spotty plant. And for what? Well ...

... to keep the others angels plants check, for the rest of time.

***

(Addendum from the comments: If we go by what the book tells us, Crowley doesn’t actually end up violently throwing out the ‚bad‘ plants. He just finds a different place for them and makes sure they‘re looked after. So much to him being a big, bad, meanie-mean demon.)

[chronologicalerrors]

Crowley, Angels and Free Will: More Good Omens Meta

I’ve been thinking a lot about Crowley in the Land of Uz recently. Particularly this scene:

A: Come on! You're a little bit on our side. C: Not even the littlest. A: Well, you're not on Hell's side. C: I go along with Hell as far as I can. A: So whose side are you on? C: My side.

Until this point, although Crowley has never seemed particularly ideologically aligned with the other demons of Hell, we could assume that Crowley’s fondness for life on Earth was a gradual process. He and Aziraphale have come to appreciate the lifestyle (cars and restaurants and music and wine and houseplants and coffee and various aspects of human invention) and the life they had amongst the people, and each came to vastly prefer it to a life in their respective Head Offices. But here, in Uz, we find out that Crowley realised this a very, very long time ago. He’s already discovered the joys of some human delights, particularly the wine. And just look at how knowing his face is here when Aziraphale first tastes food:

That's the face of someone who's been doing this for a while...

This story takes place in 2500 BC. Crowley’s been on Earth for 1500 years or so, only bumping into Aziraphale very occasionally. It’s not known how long Crowley’s only been going along with Hell, but the suggestion is that he’s always been this way. Playing the part of the demon, all while making his own choices. This incident with Job clearly wasn’t the first time he impeded Hell’s plans. He’s been playing his own game since leaving Eden, probably.

The implication here is that he was never really on board with Hell from the start. He was cast out of Heaven for asking too many questions, but never really took to the idea of ‘the other side’, or sides in general. He’s always been on his own side, coming up with his own ideas. The Metatron, who evidently knew Crowley when he was an angel, says as much in the final episode:

Metatron: Ah, well, always did want to go his own way. Always asking damn fool questions, too.

Ever since he was an angel, Crowley was going his own way. He never particularly bought was Lucifer was selling, he just wanted the freedom to decide things for himself. As Crowley says, he never meant to fall. Heaven just couldn’t accommodate an angel who didn’t follow the rules. Hell isn’t the right place for him either, though - and he knows it. Over the years 'my side' has become 'our side', but he's never really aligned himself with Heaven or Hell:

So what’s going on with Crowley and why has he never fit in with either side? For my money, it’s because Crowley has free will. Something angels and demons aren’t supposed to have. Aziraphale says as much in their discussion in Edinburgh in 1827:

A: Look, I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice.

But Crowley isn’t evil, and has seemingly never been that way. He’s been an angel with too many questions, and a demon who wouldn’t kill goats or fire guns. He’s always exercised a right to choose how he behaves, what actions he takes. He tries to stop Aziraphale calling his actions 'nice', but he does indeed often choose to do good, even though he's technically a demon. Crowley does things because that’s what he wants to do.

Aziraphale is developing this way too. Angels aren’t supposed to do what they want – they’re supposed to do what God wants. But with Job, Aziraphale does what he thinks is just, even though it's not what he was supposed to do, for the first time. That’s the poignancy of their final conversation in Uz:

A: But what am I? C: You're just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can.

Crowley was an angel like this once too. Aziraphale hasn’t yet broken away from Heaven, though. He’s not quite ready to go his own way, be on their own side, make his own choices. To choose Crowley. He will choose this eventually, but it’s been a more gradual process for him.

Crowley, though. He’s been like this since he was an angel. Which means – was Crowley created with free will? Was he made this way?

God plays an ineffable game of her own devising, after all...

[th3archivisst]

thinking about good omens swap au,,,,,

with my personal headcanons implemented and keeping it as in character for both as possible

headcanons mentioned are: crowley as lucifer and the metatron was the decision maker about his fall

this is just a rough overview of the au, i'll try and write a fic about it soon but yeahh

GO2 SPOILERS AHEAD

How Azi became a demon

In the beginning, when Aziraphale introduces himself to Lucifer (i'll be calling Crowley that cuz he never gets his demon name in this au), Luci tells him his name too. So Aziraphale knows this is literally God's favorite angel and Oh Shit That's Important. So, when the Metatron finds out about Lucifer's questioning and decides to cast him out, Aziraphale steps up. He takes the blame on himself, says he was the one who talked to Lucifer about it and he was actually the one asking questions. Why he does this? Because he can't imagine how heaven would live on without one of its most important angels, so he's willing to sacrifice himself for that. The Metatron believes the lie and Aziraphale falls in Lucifer's stead, taking on the name of Zerael.

Garden of Eden meeting

After Zerael's fall, Lucifer tries to argue with the Metatron a bit. He gives up pretty quickly because he doesn't want Zerael's fall to go to waste, but he still gets demoted as a result. So he's now on apple tree duty. Meanwhile, Zerael gets appointed to be the original tempter, taking the form of a black swallow (cuz yk swallows are symbols of good luck but black isn't eh whatever you'll see). Lucifer gets the flaming sword as a sort of cruel joke from heaven, Gods former favorite now needs a sword for protection. He (of course) gives it to Eve, he doesn't actually need it and she definitely does. When the two meet on the wall, it's a bit awkward. Lucifer is immediately happy and greets Zerael by his angelic name, causing Zee to have a bit of a shut down. He tries to act all demonic and mean, but ends up asking how Lucifer is doing in heaven. Luci kind of skirts around the topic. "Oh, you know, the usual celestial harmonies and whatnot". Zee isn't an idiot, he asks why Luci's on apple tree duty if everything's fine. Luci tells him he's been demoted but it's nothing to worry about. "Really, it's more interesting now! I get to see more than just white walls all the time". Wing shelter thingy but Zee tries to do it first, getting burned by holy rain in the process because bird brain so Luci shelters him instead.

General stuff now that the backstory is over with

(I'll get into the flashback scenes in a different post, my fingers are starting to hurt lmao)

Zerael changes his name Zirael, which literally means 'swallow' (according to wikipedia)

Zee still opens a bookshop, he loves books and food just as much and explains it to the Dark Council as getting to know human pleasures to tempt them better

Luci still has the Bentley. Just this time it's white. He bought it black but heaven didn't like it so he miracled it white. It still plays Queen automatically because it's the only way Luci can show off his chaos.

Luci still has houseplants, but he treats them well. Why? Because he can't keep them up to heaven's standards, not after Zee fell to save him. Instead of torturing the plants, he treats them like how he thinks Zee should've been treated. Leaf spots are fine, imperfections are okay. The plants are the most beautiful in London, and also the happiest.

The Arrangement is still the same, only Zee proposed it because he's still in denial about falling and wants any excuse to do something good. Luci agrees, because he wants a chance to rebel without anyone noticing.

Nicknames!!! Zee calls Lucifer 'Luci' (Lucy) and ,of course, Angel, while Lucifer calls Zirael 'Zee' and 'birdbrain' when telling him he's an idiot.

Features! So I know we get the Angel!Crowley eyes in s2, but i like to think he still has to wear sunglasses cuz when the sun catches his eyes they turn molten gold :]

Zee's eyes go from blue to black, easy enough to pass off as very dark brown. His hair stays the same though, it just never turned darker. He says the sulfur bleached it. Is that true? Probably not.

Zee is very very jumpy, his eyes are always flicking around and he's barely ever relaxed. Luci on the other hand is mostly calm, except when something goes wrong. Then he uses every swear word known to mankind that doesn't involve blasphemy because he doesn't wanna get scolded by head office.

Dynamic

Zee is a lot more flirty than Aziraphale. His time as a demon has taught him some Things™️. He still very persistently believes in the system, though it's easier to pick apart his resolve when you point out that he fell because he thought the system was unfair to Lucifer. Luci is the opposite, not sure how to respond to the flirting and getting very tongue tied (ngk.). He is however very willing to finally cut ties with heaven, which means Paradox. Zee keeps trying to convince Luci to stay in heaven, Luci keeps trying to convince Zee to Go Off Together. Zee terrified of consequences, Luci bored out of his skull with heaven's monotony. The only reason he stays is because he remembers Zee's sacrifice. He knows that Zirael didn't want to fall. He did it so Lucifer wouldn't have to.

This makes the season two finale oh so interesting HEHEHEHHEHGEHGEGEH

Lucifer gets the proposition to return to his position as Supreme Archangel, for things to go back to how they were before he was demoted. He, naturally, tells the Metatron exactly where he could stick it. Zee gets mad about this because Lucifer could make heaven better! He could make the system better, prevent anyone from falling without reason ever again. Luci gets pissed because he's been complaining about heaven to Zee for thousands of years and now that just means nothing??? he should go back?????? because of a broken system? But he doesn't mention that the Metatron told him he could restore Zirael. When he finally yells it out at the end of their arguement, right before the kiss, Zee freezes and stares at him. Lucifer realized. Oh shit. This is the one thing he's wanted more than life on earth for all this time. And i'm refusing him it, although it's my fault he lost it in the first place.

Zee won't ask him to go to heaven if he so clearly doesn't want to, definitely not now. Luci kisses him as an attempt to apologize, it's gentle and Zee doesn't push back but he also doesn't respond. At all. He just turns away and starts organizing his books. Just as Lucifer is about to leave, tears in his eyes, Zee says, very quietly; "If you won't do your job, I'd better start doing mine."

The next day, Lucifer comes back with a whole apology script written. He doesn't find Zee there. Instead he finds a random guy from a bookshop that closed a couple months ago.

[just-some-guy-joust]

Just Some Guy OC Tourney - Side B: Round 3

Rules:

do NOT be mean to anyone or any characters in these polls. you MUST clarify if you are joking/teasing or you will be blocked. if you are someone who entered an oc into this and you are mean to other contestants you will be disqualified

do NOT claim a character doesn't deserve to be here. yes including your own. be nice

if you are posting propaganda you have to @ tag us, including if your propaganda is in the reblogs. it is difficult to tell when something is or isn't propaganda. anything not tagging us will likely be missed

please don't hesitate to let me know if i messed something up!

have fun, hype each other up <3 thank you

Chel | She/her | @toonfanstars

CW: Body horror (in other images in toyhouse gallery)

She was just an average guy. She would wake up, eat breakfast, and get ready for work. She didn't particularly like her job, but her coworker was friendly enough, even if a little too ambitious. She likes to keep her routine as normal as possible, and any little deviation usually bugs her but she tries to deal with it. Whether it be that she can't find a matching pair of socks or suddenly getting possessed by a demon, nothing is stopping her from getting her morning coffee & bagel from her favourite bakery.

Promos: https://toyhou.se/11556109.chel

~

Zena | She/her/hers, it/its/its, and ze/zir/zirs, but all pronouns are acceptable | @spark-ocblog (CW: mentions of blood and murder on this blog)

Zena works a variety of retail jobs and lives in a boring, cheap, low-quality apartment. She is entirely oblivious to the various supernatural happenings in the town she's in, despite being one of the oldest supernatural creatures in the area. It likes to participate in mundane human activities for fun, such as "Lie Down On A Cushion For Eight Hours With Your Eyes Closed," and "Pet Animal." Zir biggest worries are busy shifts and managing human finances.

~

Levi | He/him | @cyikess

An unwilling chronic isekai protagonist. He can't catch a break! He keeps getting thrown to new and different fantasy/sci-fi/whatever worlds when all he wants is his normal life back. He's just a guy!

~

Full images and descriptions under the cut!

[no extra description provided]

Zena is an immortal plant spirit who really wants to participate in human life. After zir move to the city, ze hops from job to job trying to sample the human experience as best ze can. She tries to keep a houseplant and care for it manually (without any magic) and it dies immediately. She's aromantic and orchidsexual, but alloplatonic. It's very awkward trying to socialize with its coworkers, especially because its first language is not a verbal one. Ze's very easily tricked and oblivious to many things... including the many witches in the area that stop by the cafe ze waitresses at. The cafe is perfectly normal, but its primary clientele is criminals and illegal magic users from the surrounding area (just because of where it's situated, locationally). She sticks out like a sore thumb because her human disguise isn't particularly stealthy, but most people politely assume her appearance is due to some sort of curse and avoid commenting on it. It likes reading corny romance novels and hanging out with people in its spare time. It's autistic and obsessed with puns, and fascinated by human languages. Zir whole entire aspiration is basically to be just some guy.

He is one of the guys ever tbh. All this crazy shit happens to him/around him and he stays normal! This crazy shit includes being sent to other worlds again, and again, and again. He does not know why this is happening. And in all these worlds there's cyborgs, and non-humans, and all sorts of people and then there's him. With his stupid glasses and failboy energy. Love him. All my friends love him too. He's even on my water bottle!

[averywiseanimatedcat]

Rewatching Good Omens season 2 liveblog

Season 2, episode 2 ‘The clue’ Post 1

Link to episode 1 post 1

What in the actual duck did Crowley summon here? It’s like a mini sun that shoots sun lazers?? Again-showing how powerful Crowley is he can summon a dam sun looking thing just to smite a few goats. Also unnecessarily dramatic, which I appreciate. Very on brand.

Be gay, so crimes, smite some goats with a giant sun you summoned out of nowhere.

This was so funny it was like they were in a play, and it was cute how Azirphale recognised him and was like ‘oh it’s yooouu’ and immediately dropped the Angel act

Fuck off Gabirel. If I could curse this Angel to a thousand years of stubbing his little toe repeatedly over and over again on a table leg in hell I WOULD. That’s all I have to say about Gabriel. Moving on.

This whole Job flashback is so important to setting up the the conflict of the season which ultimately builds up to Azirphale and Crowleys fight.

The main conflict of this season is Aziraphales fight with his own mortality and beliefs. It’s so sad to watch him get his hopes up just to have them dashed again and again when he’s trying to find reason or meaning in the events that are unfolding in front of him. He has a very strong sense of justice, and the events of the Job flashback are obviously disturbing to him. So much so that he actually goes AGAINST gods will to try and stop Crowley when he thinks he’s going to hurt the children. He spends the whole thing bouncing around between rebellion and conformity. And it’s really telling that he is still in the same struggle in the present day. He hasn’t resolved anything, he’s just gotten more comfortable with breaking the rules (probably bc of his scary dog privileges, aka, Crowley)

Moving on….

This is the face of a man in the process of experiencing the ick. His ick is anyone but Crowley or him touching his books but I think his ick is also Gabriel in general.

This is an ick we share. Fuck Gabriel. Even when he’s Jim.

I have multiple questions- first of all, does Crowley ever clean his windscreen?

Second of all-why does he park in this random ass street all the time? Does he want Azirphale to think he’s out doing something cool and important when really he has nothing to do and no house to go to? Then he can pull up all suave like whenever Azirphale calls? I bet this street is like 2 minutes from the bookshop so he can pretend he was far away then drive up at the perfect time.

You need a hobby Crowley, like a real one, and saving your Angel over and over again is not a hobby. You also need a therapist but that’s another discussion…

Also-I love how DISGUSTINGLY sarcastic he is this season. He’s really turned it up like five notches. Probably compensating for the fact everyone knows he’s attached to the hip with Azi so he gotta turn up the cool/unbothered sarcastic demon of the underworld act while he sleeps in his car with his houseplants. What a gay disaster I love him.

Aziraphale is a mood here not knowing what to do when someone’s crying infront of them

Me whenever I see Gabriel even when he’s Jim. That’s my middle finger if it wasn’t clear enough.

Fuck Gabriel and therefore also fuck Jim. I hope he drops his toast in the morning, spread side down.

BUT I have to admit-Jim is hyperactive ADHD personified and I appreciate the comedy.

But still fuck you Gabriel.

Azirphales face in the background when he thinks their about to discover Gabriel: a toddler who thinks if they can’t see you, you can’t see them.

Link to next post

[folatefangirl]

List of  Disorganized Enemies to Lovers AUs and Prompts for Your Ficcing Needs

Rival coffee shops (courtesy of The Bookening Group)

Rival Parisian bakeries (courtesy of @ichabodjane)

Rival county fair blue ribbon baking contestants

Rival pet walkers/pet sitters

Rival fashion designers

Rival gamers (twitch streamers? youtubers?)

Rival succulent plant insta accounts (or houseplant fandom in general)

Rival morticians

Rival dragon trainers

Rival knights in a tournament

Other obscure sports rivals

Rival academics in the same niche field who keep responding to each other’s publications with increasingly snarky commentary and shading each other at conferences 

Rival ghost hunters who use wildly different methods of technology to try to find ghosts and mutually think the other is the one scamming viewers

Same set of Stabby McStabby characters, just make one side Sith and the other side Jedi aka the Star Wars AU (courtesy of The Bookening Group)

Rival Jedi Masters who want the same apprentice

Rival smugglers (Star Wars or Firefly or other AU potential)

Rival spies (The Mr. and Mrs. Smith AU, basically)

Angel and Demon trying to stop the apocalypse (aka the Good Omens AU or possibly the Daughter of Smoke and Bone AU, depending on what kind of reader you are)

Superhero vs Supervillain

Sidekick vs Henchperson

Their friends told them to try out for Beatrice and Benedick in a “Much Ado About Nothing” production bc they thought it would be funny

Pirate rivals who accidentally meet while trying to score the same merchant ship

Pirate vs Pirate Catcher

Vampire vs Vampire Hunter

Pride and Prejudice AU

The classic dance fic: “We have to dance together for XYZ thing [an important event or competition] because there are literally no other options and we’re competent at dancing even if we dislike each other immensely.”

One knits, the other crochets; both frequent the same fiber crafting circles (@longsightmyth)

One cooks food crimes, the other insists on cooking to the letter of the recipe every time

“You snapped the pasta in half?!” 

“What, like it’s hard?”

Someone keeps leaving the shared gallon of milk/carton of eggs empty in the fridge after using it up (and they were roommates AU)

Your Preferred Tarot Deck And Reading Method Is Wrong And So Wrong IDK Even Where To Begin

We have each other blocked on our mains but not on our sideblogs for a mutually shared fandom and we are both aware of it

You put lipstick in my Valentino white bag?!?

My name is [Character Name]. You killed my [relative]. Prepare to die. (Sword duels!)

I moved in and I nominated myself for the HOA as a joke and accidentally got the position and now someone with years of personal beef with the HOA hates me by default

If you keep blasting party music until 2 AM, I will keep doing my yard work at exactly 7 AM the next morning, thank you very much!

Our pets are very good friends. We are not. Our pets do not care in the slightest.

Oh no, I understand that particular language just fine, I just wanted to keep hearing the hot goss and shade said about me within earshot

You described corsets incorrectly in one of your novels due to inadequate research and I, a fashion historian, am going to continuously write you essays on corsets and historical underthings in general until you fix your shit. You, on the other hand, are wondering if all my long winded letters mean I’m fixing to turn your skin into a coat. (Maybe I am!)

[giantmushyfriend]

Talking about the Crowley Clipped Wing Theory (ft. a small portion of Ethel Cain talk, autonomy and the reclaiming of it, stars, and why Aziraphale loving Crowley's fallen angel traits may mean more than we initially realize)

I will never get over the headcannon that Crowley cannot use his wings to fly because they were clipped before his fall. It hurts on so many different levels, but mostly for one:

It is just another reminder of what he is. What he was made to be. He can do good as a demon all he wants, he can save the world, he can fall in love, he can separate himself from other demons by associating with a different type of animal than we've seen most demons portray (i.e., bugs, reptiles, creatures that are viewed as scary and gross, as opposed to a crow, which despite still being seen as a bad omen, is held in much higher regard) but certain aspects of him will always reap the punishment of simply asking questions. He cannot fly, and in that way, he is once again reminded for eternity that he was cast to slither on the ground as a snake, a creature now commonly associated as a symbol for trickery, malicious behavior, and betrayal, for the rest of time. Like his eyes, it is a permanent reminder that those who were supposed to love him and cherish him cast him out for something so juvenile as asking questions, a reminder that on some level, he loves his creator more than so loved him.

It reminds me so heavily of one of the songs of an album that I think Crowley would really like, Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain, specifically one of the lines from Family Tree (Intro),

"And Christ, forgive these bones I'm hiding

From no one successfully

Jesus can always reject his father

But he cannot escape his mother's blood

He'll scream and try to wash it off of his fingers

But he'll never escape what he's made up of"

Like Cain's exploration into generational trauma, Crowley, whether he wants people to see it or not, is still grappling with trying to dissociate himself from Hell because he doesn't believe he belongs there (i.e., "all I ever did was ask questions" "I never meant to fall"). But the world around him, the institutions of Heaven and Hell, have shackled him to it; he can never escape it. He cannot free himself of this association. He can change his appearance (i.e., portraying black wings that look more like a bird than demons, hiding his snake traits, changing his name from Crawly to Crowley). He feels robbed of that autonomy, which is cemented by the fall, taking both his vision (because of his eyes, snake eyes) and his ability to move freely by taking his ability to fly, and he's trying to refine himself by making choices that take it back, which makes it even more crushing when we look at these things he inherently can't get rid of. Like mother's blood, he cannot escape what he's made up of.

And as if that wasn't painful enough, there is also the salt to the already gaping wound by limiting Crowley's ability to fly; they further limit his access to the stars. Heaven knew how much the stars meant to Crowley; he took such pride in his creations, and they were the thing he loved most. They took this into consideration when thinking about his eternal punishment, firstly by taking away his ability to physically see his creations, as his snake eyes cannot see the stars since they are so far away, and then by making it almost physically impossible for him to go see them up close by making it so he could not fly.

Now, Heaven probably doubted Crowley's imagination because we all know he was 100% ready to drive the Bentley to Alpha Centauri with his houseplants, maybe husband, and Queen tapes in tow- but that is beside the point.

Things like his wings and eyes were meant to strip Crowley of everything he had when he was an angel; they're meant to be a punishment, a reminder of the privileges he lost when he asked questions. They are designed to make him feel nothing more than a lowly creature cast to the Earth and make him hate what he is. And that's why theories of Aziraphale loving these aspects of Crowley, finding them beautiful, are so meaningful. Because, at the end of the day, Heaven is no longer what it should have been, Crowley recognizes that. He understands that Heaven, alongside Hell, is dysfunctional and corrupt. So, when he sees this angel, the one thing who he sees as inherently good, the best thing that Heaven has ever produced, loving these things that he's supposed to hate, are meant to mark him as a disgrace to all creation, it's like a freight train. Because, to him, Heaven's opinion doesn't matter. He has Aziraphale, who loves these traits because they are so unabashedly Crowley. Aziraphale loves how he has reclaimed these traits, and for him, that's enough. He may not be able to escape the fact that he's a demon, cast out for something so juvenile as asking questions, and he may never be able to fully separate himself from Hell, but it's in these small strides of stepping away and reclaiming things that were meant to be a punishment, that is so endeared to the only being who he truly loves, that Crowley finds peace. And isn't that just beautiful?

[cgaubrey]

Welcome!

Hello, hello!

I'm CG. Currently sick of all other social media and making my way back to tumblr. I figured I should let you know a bit about me and my work.

I write character-driven, atmospheric hope!punk fantasy that sometimes leans darkly. I love eco-vengeance, found family, kelpies, murder-trees, and romantic subplots. If I can work a dog into the story, I absolutely will. And fear not, the dog doesn't die.

I've had two short stories published recently and I'm currently working on a handful of projects (which I"ll tell you folks about in another post). You can learn more about me and where to find my work at cgaubrey.com (Does tumblr still not like letting us post links? I can't remember) or send me a message and I'll send you links.

I'm a fat autistic/adhd cis queer white woman. I grew up in rural, evangelical South Carolina below the poverty line. I've spent most of my adult life and acquired three college degrees unpacking what all that means.

Things about me more interesting than my demographics:

I love coffee and tea and wandering. My center is wonder.

I hike, kayak, and take far too many pictures of trees.

I collect so many things. (knives, rocks, shells, honey, dinosaurs, books, houseplants, hobbies)

My mother cried when I was born and not from joy. I was an unplanned, hideously ugly scowling demon baby. I've never been as proud of a photo of me as I am of my first baby pic. One day it will be the author's photo for my memoirs.

The first thing I ever wrote was a song called "When the Wind Blows." I was barely three years old. I still sing it on blustery days.

I grew up in a swamp. My mother and grandfather rehabbed baby deer. I had a pet alligator. We had a hamster who died in a house fire but my mom gave him tiny cpr and he lived to be five years old! (almost twice the life expectancy)

I had no idea people didn't live and interact with wildlife until I was in college.

I love to swim; I've drowned twice. Yes, that's the correct verbiage. It's like hanging. You can totally hang without dying. That's why they changed the sentence to "be hanged by the neck until dead."

I've always been active and prone to misadventure. So far my worst injuries have been from falling off of a galloping, unbroken colt. I broke my arm and pelvis and banged up my face (because I landed on it).

I will probably meet my end one day rescuing a turtle from the road.

I am obnoxiously proud of my pumpkin bread recipe.

Ask Box is always open. Anon is an option until it shouldn't be. :)

[mercy-mercie-mercymorn]

agro's oc master list (1/?)

☆ star people ☆

i'll be adding links when/if i remember, as well as finishing this list.....eventually. just ask if u want some reference images for characters i don't have on artfight or need additional info! anyways, the whole character vomit is under the cut :)

angel 

name: angel (formerly, delta) virgo

human?: nope, asteriai (star nymph) 

bday: sep 15

deal: after being born without magic, she became the asteriai vessel of her long-dead titan ancestor, Astraea (Virgo). works as a TA for her friend, an anthropology professor. has more plushies than space on her bed. a pacifist at heart. 

powers: can summon a spear and a pair of golden light wings. can also heal, which she does considerably more. 

likes: animals, sweets, and sleeping. dislikes: bugs, the heat, and christmas music.

songs: Sleep (Conrad Hillis Remix) - Soul Push, Colder Parts - HUNNY, All Will Be Well - Gabe Dixon

rose

name: rose (that’s it) (formerly, demon—not like 😈 but Δήμων, meaning “the people”. it’s important to me that you know that.) 

human?: nope, kimmerian (void spirit) (she’s just here because i couldn’t think of a better place to put her. it makes sense with the lore) 

bday: dec 23

deal: angel’s girlfriend. the last descendant of a long-dead race who spurned fate. an emo shit and a mean lesbian (affectionate). takes no shit. unless it’s from angel. has a dry sense of humor. doesn’t like authority. 

powers: hydromancy! can do a bunch of fuck you magic with water. has weird dream-controlling magic. it’s a long story. 

likes: video games, music, and bodies of water. dislikes: her past, angel’s sister, and rules. 

songs: Ocean’s Deep - Born Ruffians, Talk To Myself - Avicii, Heaven Is Under The Sun - Beta Play 

spica

name: spica virgo

human?: nope, asteriai

bday: sep 23

deal: angel’s older sister/her guardian for the most of her life. impulsive and hot-tempered. loves the people she cares about by being a lil angry about their life choices. a part of the amica ignis—a guild of female pyromancers. would fight you. eltanin’s fiancee! 

powers: pyromancy!!! yeah!!! can also summon a special spear. 

likes: shoes, autumn, and hitting the snooze button. dislikes: paperwork, her alarms, and rose.  

songs: I Don’t Need A Hero - Concrete Blonde, Fake Out - Fall Out Boy, Color Green - New Politics

caph

name: caph cassiopeia

human?: asteriai. 

bday: feb 12

deal: one of apollo’s priestesses. the only surviving cassiopeia clan member. she was a terrible person and now she’s trying to be better. a manic pixie dream girl except she’s just Like That. voted most likely to eat a plant by me. vega and apollo are her best friends. cole’s mom, married to tore. 

powers: has magic henna on her hand (the hand changes because i keep forgetting) that can do some doc ock-esque shit and some other assorted magic. was granted the power of foresight by apollo. 

likes: houseplants, singing, and chai lattes. dislikes: black coffee, snow, and talking about her deep-seated issues.

songs: She’s A Rainbow - The Rolling Stones, Monsters of the North - The National Parks, Riptide - Vance Joy

cole

name: cole cassiopeia

human?: half-human, half-asteriai. descended from a kimmerian on his father’s side.

bday: march 3

deal: cole and tore’s son. genuinely the nicest guy ever. his biggest fault is he thinks swords are cool and owns multiple. a surfer guy majoring in engineering at UCLA. he goes to the beach as much as he can. was taught to swordfight by tore and rose. also rents a room in cynthia’s house. 

powers: inherited his mom’s henna powers and his dad’s dream powers. 

likes: surfing, tea, and being bullied by annoying queers (affectionate). dislikes: having to draw, people who forget sunscreen, and close-toed shoes.

songs: West Coast - Yam Haus, Safe In L.A. - Gold Motel, Verge - Owl City

vega

name: vega lyra

human?: you guessed it, asteriai.

bday: nov 29

deal: one of apollo’s priestesses. her favorite composer is shostakovich. she’s very mean but i think it’s funny. dating apollo, which is definitely a choice. generally has an “overworked and underpaid public servant who has run out of fucks to give” vibe. 

powers: musical magic! the songs she plays/sings can basically do whatever as long as she has the energy and/or an okay instrument. can also pick up instruments in little to no time. 

likes: playing violin, card games, and spicy foods. dislikes: sweets, hot weather, and dogs (nothing personal). 

songs: Nascence - Austin Wintory, Waiting For Love - Avicii, Tender Strength - Yu-Peng Chen

eltanin

name: eltanin draco

human?: asteriai

bday: june 30

deal: i’ll be real…spica’s everything. he’s just ken. he’s very nice, loves his family, and just wants to grill. he has a soft spot for angel because they’re both relatively chill people with intense s/os…who just so happen to hate each other. 

powers: can turn into a (relatively small) dragon. 

likes: DIY projects, weighted blankets, and trying new foods. dislikes: drama, action movies, and wearing shoes in the house.

songs: 3’s - Nodaway, Dance With Me - Ra Ra Riot, Crystal Clear - Opus Orange

sirius

name: sirius canis major

human?: asteriai

bday: april 1 (yes he makes jokes about this) 

deal: a former member of the asteriai island guard who left for earth to find bigger and better things. formed a group of vigilante magic-adjacent people 

powers: can turn into a dog. he has some heightened senses (dog-compliant). 

likes: fast food (the trashier the better), lame puns, and haircare. dislikes: chocolate, reading maps, and rain. 

songs: Wolfdance - The Ceremonies, Don’t Send The Searchlights - Gold Motel, Everyone’s A Guru Now - Saint Motel

virgo

name: astraea (more often known as virgo, the maiden of the zodiac)

human?: a Titan/goddess

bday: she just piggybacks off angel’s

deal: the currently semi-dead deity sharing angel’s body. she’s sleeping rn (always). was kind of seeing apollo. is like 9 ft tall. the former leader of the Zodiac, but everyone else is dead. sees warfare as a necessary evil. 

powers: healing! spears! light constructs! fuck you.

likes: sleeping, sweets, and sightseeing. dislikes: fighting, humanity, and doorways. 

songs: i don’t feel like thinking of any for her rn

[thatscarletwitch]

GROW BETTER🌿

[aziraphales-library]

Any fics where anamthema is like a matchmaker, trying to get crowley and azirphaeal together?

Here are some meddling matchmaker Anathema fics...

Some Really Quite Bad Matchmaking by HolyQuiznak01 (NR)

Anathema is a level-headed, reasonable girl. However, the patience of level-headed, reasonable girls only goes so far when dealing with a pining angel and a pining demon. Really, what was she to do, other than enlist her hapless partner and the antichrist? Shame that eleven-year-olds really aren't very good matchmakers. Or boys who get a girlfriend through ancient prophecies.

Idle Hands Are the Devil’s Playthings by IneffableDoll (G)

“Well…” Adam studied Anathema for a moment as though deciding if she was up for the task he had in mind. “What if we helped Mr. Crowley and Mr. Aziraphale to, you know…” “Stop being complete and utter morons and admit that they’re both head over heels for each other?” He grinned. “Yup. That.” Anathema had been bored all day. She wasn’t feeling particularly bored now. “I’m in.”

Make The Yuletide Gay by WinterSky101 (T)

Adam and the others in Tadfield throw a Christmas party, and they decide to invite Aziraphale and Crowley. There may be an ulterior motive or two involved.

A little push by bennyboyTallmadge (T)

One year has passed since the Apocalypse-that-wasn't. Aziraphale finally has one thing figured out: He is, and has been for quite some time, head over heals in love with Crowley. What he hasn't figured out, however, is what the heaven and hell to do about that. When Anathema meets the two at Adam's birthday party, she decides that all Aziraphale and Crowley need is a little push in the right direction.

Ethereal Matchmaking Company: Device and Co. by eating_custardinbed (T)

AKA "Three times that everyone thought Crowley and Aziraphale were a couple, and one time they were right" In which Anathema makes some assumptions, Sergeant Shadwell is just... Sergeant Shadwell, and Crowley yells a lot (mostly at houseplants and sometimes at actual people)

Good Endings by WyvernQuill (T)

A Narrative of Certain Events following the Ending of the World (Except Not Quite), as vaguely hinted at in The Slapdash and Not Very Helpful Prophetic Tidbit of Agnes Nutter, Witch (And Matchmaker.)

"Their lives are in horrible, terrible danger that only we can save them from!" Anathema held up the Prophetic Tidbit. "It says so. Right here." Madame Tracy peered at the page. Raised a meaningful eyebrow. "Dearie, as a woman of, well, considerable experience, I really don't think that's what 'the lyttle Deathe' means in this context..."

"Huh." Anathema squinted. Flipped the page. Read another bit. "....huh."

(Or, alternatively: Eight - give or take - matchmakers trying really, really hard, honest; two clueless ethereal/occult beings mutually pining their endless days away; and one witch, who can't leave well enough alone when it comes to matters of the heart, no matter how many centuries ago she died.)

- Mod D

[heniareth]

OH HI HI :D For the soft ask meme if I may exhibit a little Astala greed >_> I desire more information about my blorbo that I might rotate her in my head with greater detail 🌾🌿💦any or all of them is fine, whatever works for you <3 <3 <3 hope you have a gorgeous day today!!

HI HI HI!!!! I finally get to answer this!! I'm so excited :D :D :D Pardon the wait, but I'll make it worth your while, I promise XD Off we go! Under the cut because it's LONG! And let's start with the dark stuff, bc why not? >:)

💦 If you as the writer could erase one traumatic event from this OC’s life what would it be and why?

CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of death of a parent, depression of the other parent, and the resulting childhood trauma for this whole question

Definitely, 100% sure, her mother's death, all the stuff that lead up to it (which I talked about in this post and in this other post, which are both asks) and all the stuff that happened because of it (read: her father growing terribly depressed, then getting sick and not being able to work, then Astala herself getting sick, and later Astala having to work way sooner than she thought bc suddenly her father was the sole provider for the family and it wasn’t enough)

On one hand bc it's the single biggest traumatic event for Astala (the fight with the archdemon and the encounter with the broodmother are close seconds, but at that point she is older and has more ressources and help to deal with them. And she left those two encounters victorious, more or less. Her mother's disappearance was a massive blow that had her struggling to stand afterwards)

On the other, however, it would've been so amazing for her to have her mom backing her up in the matter with Vaughan, the matter with the Blight and keeping the Alienage and her family safe while Astala ventured out into the world. Adaia would've been a huge help by simply being there for her when she came back from the broodmother or the archdemon with the words of wisdom of one who had already been fighting for decades and who knew Astala very, very well

Also, I would've loved to see Adaia and Cyrion being terribly in love with each other (because those two would’ve been THE SWEETEST), see the relationship between Astala and her mother grow and evolve, maybe Astala would even have had a younger sibling??? Who knows! It was robbed from us!

Also also, Zevran meeting Astala's mom and she's this small 40-something-year old woman who is tough as nails, who immediately clocks him as a very experienced rogue, who casually informs him that life will become very unpleasant for him if he hurts her daughter! But who also recognises that he's battling with his own demons and takes Astala aside to remind her that she has to be patient with this poor man, who offers sympathy and support if he wants it bc she's seen some shit as well? Please sign me UP that would've been amazing!!! She would’ve loved Zevran and Zevran would’ve loved her and Adaia would’ve had another rogue to talk rogue-stuff with bc Astala never really got the whole rogue-ing. Truly, we've been robbed T.T

So yeah, Adaia's death it is

🌿 What way does your OC show that they care without using words? What way do others show your OC that they’re cared about without using speech?

Oh this! This is a lovely question

Astala can be quite verbal and verbally expressive. It's probably a habit she's learned over the course of her life bc things get much easier for her when she can just talk about them directly (Nelaros gets to suffer that. In a shameful act of self-promotion, I'll link the chapter of my fanfic where Astala sits him down for A Talk (you already know the chapter, wild-houseplant, but I thought it might be appropriate for the convenience of others))

That means that she's the person who will try to awkwardly reassure you through words ("It'll be fine! You'll see"). She knows it doesn't always work. It doesn't even work for her most of the times (it tends to put her in a worse mood, in fact), but it's what comes to easiest to her, especially if she's not familiar with the person to be reassured and/or physical contact is not an option

But also what she does most is ask you to tell her about the problem. First, because that alone can help, but second, because it helps het as much as the other person. She likes to know what's going on if somebody's feeling down. She also likes to jump directly into possible solutions, but has learned over time that sometimes (many times) simply listening is the way to go

Physical touch would be her second choice if verbal comfort is not available (for whatever reason). A hug, a hand on a shoulder, a ruffling of the hair, a squeeze of the hand, a bump with the shoulder, Astala has means and ways to show care physically. She is also, however, very keenly aware that people don't always want to be touched and thus errs on the side of caution

The third option, if she can't reach the person in question verbally or physically, would be to take care of their stuff. Hand them an extra big slice of bread with their meal. Pester them to go to sleep early. Take over some kind of chore they had to do

If all else fails, she'll hover. She'll be watching, alert and ready, in case something (anything) happens and she can do something (anything) to help. She gets restless when the people she likes aren't okay and don't let her help

As for how others would show her they care, here's a handy dandy non-conclusive list:

Cyrion has brought Astala plums and other little things she likes to cheer her up more than once. He's not big on the physical, but leans more towards words of comfort and advice.

Adaia always made time for her daughter. She would listen without comment, not offer advice unless asked directly, and simply hug the hell out of Astala

Shianni likes to take her under her wing for a change when Astala's having a rough time. She'll get her out of the house or otherwise think of something that'll distract her. She's also very much one for hugs

Soris will offer his time and company to Astala. He'll also patiently allow her to talk through whatever is going on in her mind at the moment. He himself will be mostly silent during these conversations

Alistair will make jokes. So many jokes. He'll genuinely try to cheer her up by being silly. As the story progresses, he will also start taking over some of the duties that come with leading the companions. AND he'll make sure Astala rests when she gets sick (he’s one of the only ones capable to out-argue her when she insists that she’s not sick)

Morrigan will scoff and huff and offer sarcastic comments about how Astala's mood is ruining the day, but she will also watch her back very intently, especially if Astala's having trouble with human men. She'll provide a slice of (her brand of) cold, hard realism if Astala is getting lost in intense emotions of long duration

Leliana will listen and talk. She and Astala play off well against one another. Leliana is genuinely interested in what Astala has to tell and is generous with her enthusiasm (both over things that excite her and things that excite Astala)

Zevran's first choice of comfort is, I think, physical. It might be a full-blown hug, it might be a caress, it might be a simple, fleeting touch. He's very good at assessing how much is desired and what is needed. He offers a sympathetic ear of the kind that validates the experience that is being shared. He keeps an eye on Astala, making sure she takes good care of herself. He stands right next to her when things get tough, lets her know as much as possible that she can rely on him. And he works so hard to make it work, to make them work, to learn how to bear his issues and shortcomings with grace and how to forgive and love hers. He tries to be more verbally expressive, because it's Astala's first choice of communicating and she's trying to be better at not heckling him and giving him space when he needs it

(Now I'm emotional)

🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them

Ho boy. Hooooooooo boy this is THE question. Thank you so much for asking this I'm so excited!!!!!! That's also why I left it for last (and why I took so long with this XD XD XD) Let's go!! And for this lovely question, you even get a snippet of one moment vere Astala dresses up fancy, probably for the Landsmeet (it had to happen. It just had to. I can’t write this story without leaving Zevran absolutely gobsmacked at some point)

Zevran stepped up directly behind Alistair and looked up.

“Alright, alright, I’ll show off,” Astala said begrudgingly, and, noticing him, gave him a small grimace before she made her way down the stairs.

Zevran, meanwhile, had to remind himself to breathe.

His Warden had pulled her hair up. What held the dark curls in place, he did not know, but they showed off her neck and strong shoulders. Said shoulder were bare, in the style of dress common among the Fereldan city elves. Stiff linen formed the wide and straight collar, shimmering silk billowed with every step and shone like liquid metal, gauze bunched up at the armholes of the otherwise sleeveless dress and spilled out over Astala’s arms, surround them and presumably re-attach to the dress at the back. Scars old and new littered her skin, some of them light lines and patches, others dark spots; each of them spoke to the warrior she was. Zevran couldn’t help but think back to how she had looked after leaving Orzammar: sick, bent over, eyes dull and surrounded by dark circles. How different from the woman before him, who stood tall and strong, who smiled to herself as she ran her hands over her dress, whose eyes spoke of determination, of a thirst for justice, and who turned towards him, tilted her head, and asked: “How do I look?”

Zevran tried to put his thoughts into words. She looked like a wave breaking over a ship to drag its crew with her. She was a cool lake in the mountains on a hot summer day. She was the vast, star-dotted night sky and the storm clouds mounting up on the horizon. He could’ve gone on for a long time; Maker knew words usually came easily to him. And yet, his tongue was tied.

Well. I don't know about description, but somebody has a serious case of pining.

Thank you so so so so so so much for these questions XD XD XD As you can see, I had a ton of fun with them, especially with the last one. All of them give me a serious case of brain go brrrrrrr, which is exhilarating. This is also very very long, so take as long as you want to read through it XD And off I go to answer more :D :D :D Have a lovely day!!

[icy-warden]

OC Basics ❄️✨

Tagged by @wild-houseplant​ 🌱💙 | Picrew

Character’s name: Vergil Surana

Role in story: Grey Warden (Commander of Grey Wardens in Ferelden)

Age: 22 at the start of Blight in 9:30

Physical description: Tall, slender body shape with slightly visible muscles (especially arms and legs); fair complexion with clear skin; amber eyes; triangle face shape with high cheekbones and grecian nose; thin downturned lips that make his face look usually neutral/disinterested; dimples appear when he (really) smiles though it doesn’t happen very often; long straight black hair usually worn in a braid or high ponytail; ears longer than average elf; no piercings and no tattoos; scarred skin on left arm (reddish lightning like pattern from shoulder to mid-arm, the skin is often prone to irritation); thin, almost horizontal scar between shoulder blades.

MBTI/Enneagram Personality Type: ENTJ - The Commander

✨ Internal Life ✨

What is their greatest fear?

The permanent loss of his magic.

Inner motivation:

Pursuit of knowledge and power.

Kryptonite:

Loyalty. His companions are important to him when they earn his respect. He’s with them to the bitter end and then after. Even if they fall out of friendship and won’t be in contact anymore, he’ll keep tabs on them, if possible.

What is their misbelief about the world?

That people learn from their past mistakes or history. Most often they don’t.

Lesson they need to learn:

That not every gesture is a transaction. That kindness exists just because. That being vulnerable with his emotions is not a weakness others just wait to exploit. That he won’t lose himself if he’ll trust enough to love and he won’t end up as betrayed.

What is the best thing in their life?

He doesn’t need permission to step outside from anyone. Not anymore and never again.

What is the worst thing in their life?

Only his Warden status gives him enough freedom to live as he’d like to live, but it is a timed thing.

What do they most often look down on people for?

The mindset of people who are convinced that magic is a curse and mages are demons in disguise ready to go on a killing frenzy anytime. 

Religious zealots hiding their crimes against others behind their righteous beliefs.

What makes his/her/their heart feel alive?

The feeling of magic at his fingertips when he’s free to use it as he pleases. Turning ideas into spells that work as he imagined them to. Warm fingers intertwined with his own, belonging in his hand. Knowledge, that his patience and planning the long game with so many important players is worth it.

What makes them feel loved, and who was the last person to make them feel that way?

Quality time he can enjoy with his lover. Little gifts/things that carry the meaning of “It made me think of you when I saw it.”

Top three things they value most in life?

Magic, knowledge, people he can trust.

✨ External Life ✨

Is there an object they can’t bear to part with and why?

A very old but sharp dagger (Thorn of the Dead Gods) he found during first venture into the Deep Roads.

Describe a typical outfit for them from top to bottom:

Vergil’s outfit comes in layers (though not as many) and usually in black with silver accents and dark brown leather accessories - first there’s and undershirt and depending on the season it’s sleeveless/short sleeves/long sleeves, underwear (or not), leggins or well fitting trousers in dark colours, tunic that covers his mid-thighs and a leather belt at his waist - there’s a short knife attached at his back, three small pouches with potion vials at his left side, two daggers at both sides of his hips held by another leather belt and a belt at his right thigh with short knife and potion/poison antidote/blood vials. High leather boots, long coat with fur trimming (if it’s cold) or light one, leather gloves, necklace with joining vial (then Zevran’s earring) and few rings that boost his magic. More often than not he wears very light but sturdy chainmail found in Brecilian Ruins and after he can afford it, Vergil’s armor/clothes get some enchantment stitching/runes in them.

What names or nicknames have they been called throughout their life?

Variants of derogatory words as well as more positive ones, though none sticks.

What is their method of manipulation?

Vergil likes to know what is important to the person he deals with and is not above using it for his gain. 

Gaining information he’ll try to be subtle about it, steering the conversation in the right direction until they just tell him about what he wants to know (or until he gets the right hints even if the information isn’t full). He’ll change his approach, depending on who he talks with. 

Often he uses a ‘favour for a favour’ system.

Describe their daily routine:

Blight year(s) - morning routine (wake up, tend to body needs, change clothes, wash face, brush hair, brush teeth), breakfast, check gear, talk with people and make plans for the day (make a list if something is needed), pack up camp, travel & fight, take a break, eat, practice spells/nap/talk with people, travel & fight, find a place for a camp, evening routine (bath, apply body & hair cosmetics, change of clothes), dinner, weapon & armor/clothes maintenance, talk with people, stay up for a night shift/nap until it’s his turn/read/train, go to sleep.

Their go-to cure for a bad day?

Hot bath, nap, peach pie or doing something that doesn’t involve much thinking - could be one of these or all of them, the order doesn't matter.

✨ Goals ✨

How are they dissatisfied with their life?

During the Blight his dissatisfaction comes from being thrust into the new life of constant travel, responsibilities, pressure that comes with being a warden (and a leader), discomforts of life on the move, overcoming his own limits (and learning them the hard way), meeting and dealing with people he’d prefer to avoid but can’t in the sake of gaining allies, dealing and solving problems of others. It’s tiring and annoying but it’s his everyday now. And fighting the monsters ravaging the land (and other sentient creatures), let’s not forget about that part.

What would bring them true happiness or contentment?

Satisfaction is brief and Vergil’s aware of that. Gaining one thing leads to wanting the other, so for him a true contentment isn’t really a goal that can be achieved. 

What definitive step could they take to turn their dream into a reality?

He already sacrificed much of his time on this side of the Veil and for people that sooner than later will start to forget what he did for them. He’d like to stop the timer the joining set for him and he searches for the cure, because he wants to live longer than he’s given to. He’d make a deal with the demon he knows if it’d give him more time.

How has their fear kept them from taking this action already?

He doesn’t want to lose himself completely to the other by relying on their power. It happened once and he doesn’t remember much from it, though the circumstances were dire (and thanks to them, the demon - spirit that calls themselves Echo, he came out alive and in one piece from the Amgarrak expedition).

How do they feel they can accomplish their goal while still steering clear of the thing they are afraid of?

By making himself more powerful. Collecting ancient knowledge and using it, making mistakes and learning from them. 

[valdangelodumbasses]

Valdangelo Headcannons #1

Leo and Nico are both introverts but Nico loves affection

Leo made Nico tiramisu once and he swallowed it faster than Percy could ever

Leo couldn't look him in the eyes for a week or he got so flustered

Nico is lawyer bf 

and a demon at monopoly; him playing w/ Annie is the worst.

gamers! both like monster (specifically mango loco) but Nico also loves tropical redbull

Nico teaches Leo and hazel how to play so they can battle 2v2

Nico wipes the floor and Leo is just glad he understands half the rules

Nico and Leo wear heels. 

and they're good at it too.

Confident Nico>>>>>>  

Leo has a fucking heart attack when Nico pins him to a wall

Leo makes Nico laugh with his jokes and shitty pickup lines

but when Uses shitty pickup lines on him he steals them, after he stops looking like a tomato

Nico does Cosplay and they cosplay together and its so fucking rad

making out while baking/cooking? more likely than u think

Leo tells Nico he looks cute one day b4 they started dating and Nico is like: Is this friendly affection

Caffeine addicts rise up

but Nico hates coffee and honestly same

teas n energy drinks>>> 

Leo is a fucking swine who mixes all his foods and Nico nearly vomits bc he wont let his food even touch goddamit

Piper and Hazel being wingman while Percy and Jason are the matchmakers

p r a n k s

like so goddam many

they are unstoppable and they pin it on the Stolls

or Leo gets caught

Nico n e v e r does bc like? scary emo kid? prankster? nah, NAh,

he sticks his tongue out at leo anytime leo gets caught

bisexual leo or gay leo? leo doesn't even know!

all he knows is that nicos hot and has a cute butt & personality

nico is a theater gay

he sings every musical

his favorites are Heathers, Beetle juice, Legally blond, and the greatest showman

Leo has theater kid energy but probably works the tech stuff

he likes heathers, Chicago, legally blond, Grease, and dear evan Hansen the best

Hamilton is neither of their favorites yet they end up dueting it all the time

Art kid and Repair kid>>>>>>>>>>>>

Percy sees them kiss after dating (and kissing) for 6 months and wait yall are friends?

Hes slow but he means well, Nico sticks his tongue in leo's mouth after percy says that

he's like  “O H , sorry im dumb”

“jackpot” “Valdez shush”

they talk abt their moms

angsty emo boys listen to greenday

and every other emo band

Leo calls Nico mammacita once

never again (Nico started crying)

why? It was commonplace used by his uncles and grandpa

Nico demands leo call him that more though

Leo is Hesitant but obliges

mexican or italian food restaurant arguments

leo steals nicos breadsticks even tho he has some

nico steals leo's nachos when he has his own

they're petty? yes but petty and in love!

and gay/ did i mention g a y 

Demiboy leo rights

leos a fuckin lefty

Trans Nico rights mtf or ftm rights

nico may not be trans but he's also demiboy

demi boys calling each other they all day because nobody uses the they in he/they (speaking as a demigirl)

If nico IS trans tho hades 100% uses magic to transition Nico bc yes good dad

laughing abt trauma and they're friends are like: NO

memes

“get ur hands off my bf”

“kick their ass baby i got cho flower”

imagine, just imagine nico fussing over leos hair because curly is the cutest

leo fusses over nicos when he's in a slump and brushes his hair

skincare is vital to both

Leo does engineering n shit but does it for like 16 hours straight much to everyone's dismay, but Nico who has (arguably) fresh eyes and make sure his physics is right

Nico loves physics fight me

but nico sleeps like 4 times a week for 3 hours or 3 days a week for 12 hours

Insomnia gang don’t rise up go to fuckin sleep 

will keeps giving them melatonin and they always forget to take ti and will is going to fuckin murder them maybe then they'll sleep

u know that comic where they naruto kiss S P I D E R M A N  K I S S I E S

nico hangs like a bat and leo is a memelord

nico also loves spider man

they def try to make spider man gear but annie smashes the shit out of it

dorks! comic!

omg comic book shop au nico owns it

soulmate au where u loose shit n it goes to ur soulmate

nico has NO clue what the hell to do with all this nails n hammers n shit

Leo builds stuff out of nicos lost mytho dupes 

Leo doesnt know what to do with his underwear, or all the mcdonalds receipts and the crumpled up sketches and sketch books

anyway

aphrodite ships it as she SHOULD and hades n heppy do too

why did i cal hephaestus heppy ? idk maybe aphrodite calls him that

They both hate yoga with a passion

does nico have an obsession with spn or does he hate it sm that he watches it ?

its as ambiguous as leo's sexuality!

Leos like what if i'm straight

then nico walks in 

No he's definitely not straight

who even heard of greeks being straight smh

Nico in miniskirts, aline, or any skirt makes leo go brrrrrrr

he wears leggings or tights under them though

Nico also wears leggins to bed

or the fluffy pants he steals from leo so leo doesn't have any pants

“IM FEELINGS DEVIOUS AND LOOKING GLAMORUS-”

band band band band band band band band band  Nico can sing and leo plays drums

Nico and katie are friends and Nico has a green thumb so leo is surprised when nico has more houseplants than crowley (Good omens)

He has tons of hanging and not hanging terrariums

Leo tries not to set them on fire

After Leo and Nico start hanging out more Nico bribes Lou Ellen to make his plants fire proof

they are now

Nico knows how to fire a gun and he's good at it

Pirate Nico!! 

Leo and Hades get along well

So does Nico and heppy

the parents get along too but they diss heras bad mothering

Nico gets de aged and leo is ???? but he's so CUTE AND TINY

Leo babysits him for a week in the bunker and nobody even knows until Percy and Will goes in there looking for him

Nico and Clarisse sparing? Sweaty bf? Leo loves it and chris and leo are just staring and say “yes”

Nico has freckles and leo kisses each one

Leo has these really dark freckles spread across his body but they aren't as frequent as freckles?? y'all know what i mean? ne way nico kisses them

Leo uses Yall. 

It rubs off on nico

jason is a die hard anti y’all

they annoy the shit out of him

Cuddles

nico and leo having bakeoffs

Nico asking piper for advice but editing it so its not super obvious its leo

She figures it out and tells leo like any good bff

nico promptly leaves camp when leo busts in asking if he has a crush on him

hades laughs but understands

leo sulks back to piper and percy is there and Percy got no chill

so he goes down there

Hades ain't too happy w that but Nico just gets so embarrassed and goes back with him

Hephaestus and aphro watching this go down like a romcom

I'm getting tired so im going to stop here anyway stan valdangelo for clear skin

[mochibrokenheart]

SVSSS: Guardian of the Museum

Mobei Jun x Shang Qinghua

Word Count: 2,756

Summary: Of course there's ominous growling and destruction to the building on Shang Qinghua's first night as a museum curator. Of course there is! Besides being desperate to keep the job, he's not sure what possesses him to actually walk toward the dangerous situation. His survival instincts were better trained that! Except...wait a minute...the terrifying creature causing all the ruckus is actually the hottest thing he's ever seen???

My first contribution for Moshang Monsterfucking Month (and my first fic for the fandom in general!) Heavy on the monster part as the nsfw is not explicit. Who knew that it would be hard to write something short. Inspired by the Day 2 prompt: horny.

Also posted on my Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34305571

A nearby bell tolled at midnight just as Shang Qinghua locked up the museum for the night, which meant that he was officially off for the weekend. Being a party of one, he celebrated with a groovy victory dance while turning the key over in the lock.

There was a little click and he rattled the knob, checking that the door was properly locked—if anything was stolen or vandalized during the night, he would most definitely be blamed as the recent hire!

The job was an important stepping stone in his career path plan to being a rare artifacts curator. He really needed the experience. It was hard enough to land the job, so he wasn’t above looking neurotic by double, and triple, and quadruple checking everything before he left.

A chilly breeze tussled his hair and raised goosebumps down his neck. It was October, he supposed while drawing up his hood to block the chill, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to complain.

He was much to delicate for cold temperatures and would exercise his right to curse out the changing seasons. Of course, he could move somewhere further south, so that he wouldn’t have to put up with it anymore, but still!

The only good thing about the loss of summer was the bugs, he decided.

Clearly, Shang Qinghua was irresistible because bugs treated his blood like an all-you-can buffet. If only hot men thought the same. But alas.

Sighing, he turned up to admire the full moon, who seemed to sympathize with the sad state of his romantic affairs, being the moon and all. Something about it’s pale gray-white color naturally emoted a sad, longing reflection.

It was as he was looking up that he heard a growl, loud not because of its pitch—it was actually quite low and gravelly—but because it vibrated the very air around him.

Shit. Shit. He wasn’t equipped to deal with some beast! He had no weapons and there was no way his body was going to get the job done either. He was a delicate flower, just ask the bugs who always feasted on him!

He rummaged through his bag frantically for his phone. That was what the authorities were for.

Opening his phone, his mind was racing. Who did you call when there was a potentially wild animal on the loose? The police? Animal control?

Gasp! What if it turned out to be a demon?

…!!!

He didn’t have any shamans or priests on speed dial. There had never been a reason to until then but if it would save him, he’d buy up every type of religious necklace he could and wear them around his neck daily. It was like insurance—it never hurt to cover all of his bases.

While he was wasting time on the sidewalk, what appeared to be small bits of gravel drifted down from what seemed like the roof. Scurrying to get closer to the streetlight, which casted a circular light on the steps of the museum, Shang Qinghua bent down to get a closer look.

It felt dusty when he rubbed his pointer finger against his thumb and did match the shade of stone the building was…The new evidence presented a bit of dilemma. Yes, he was still itching to call somebody have them do the dangerous work, but at the same time, his boss might fire him if something happened to the museum under his watch.

“Well, if there’s more damage, I guess I’ll take a look,” he muttered. He clasped his hands together. “But please, take mercy on me, moon! I promise that if you get me out of this that my next erotica will be dedicated solely to you, and in very large print, so that my readers know the reach of your mystical power!”

His hands remained clasped high above his head as he waited. So far so good.

There was still the scary growls, of course, but those didn’t count because he wasn’t going to investigate that. It was absolutely common knowledge that people who investigated weird sounds always ended up dead, at least in horror movies, and that was all the proof he needed to wash his hands of it.

No, the only thing that could sway him from his crouch on the front steps was…was…

Tears shimmered in his eyes as more rubble was knocked off from the roof, the fine particles irritating his nose and causing him to sneeze.

Thoroughly betrayed, he used his sleeve to wipe at his nose. Forget the moon. Clearly the bond he felt had only been one-sided, and now he was obligated to actually suck it up and put himself in harms way.

The Shang Qinghua of five minutes ago would’ve screamed and called himself a fool. Why ignore those highly honed flight instincts?! Even the Shang Qinghua of the present was screaming and calling himself a fool when he took the first hesitant step inside.

It was deceptively quiet in the stairwell but that wasn’t enough to calm him. As the saying went, it was the calm before the shit storm and he was about to be right in the middle of it. How careless of him.

Just in case this was the end, he started to draft an epitaph—it’s not like anyone else would put in the same amount of effort. 

His minor following would be too busy wailing about the permanent book hiatus; his boss would have their hands full dealing with insurance over the architectural damage; and that hot-and-cold cucumber bro of his would still be nagging him in the afterlife, criticizing him for his stupid plan when it ‘clearly would’ve been better to do such and such’. But back to him.

We are gathered here to mourn the passing of one Shang Qinghua, a bright hamster that was taken from Earth far too soon. His exhibit work was flawless, his knack for collections cataloging unrivaled. There was never a day without bountiful office supplies with him around. We thank him for his singular brave—foolish?—sacrifice in the name of historical value. Shang Qinghua is survived by several dying houseplants and the stray dog he usually fed on his way home from work.

There. That sounded as good as he was likely to get. Wait. No. He almost left out the most important part: the secret letter of last words meant only for cucumber bro’s eyes. Bro, if you’re reading this it’s because I died a terrible and scary death. Please take pity and wipe all of my search history. It was all for research, honest! It’s bad taste to judge a dead man.

The access door to the roof was large and imposing in front of him, even though there was still no noise coming from the other side. He was going to be mad and then relieved, in that exact order, if this turned out to be nothing.

He inhaled. Exhaled. Jumped around and shook his hands where they hung down beside the length of his body. He’d watched enough athletes—for research!—throughout his short life and getting loose always seemed to pump them up for competition. The same principle should apply here.

The door gave with a loud screech and he suspected that it wasn’t in regular use. Not that there was probably much to see up there anyway. Just roosting pigeons, stone slabs, and—

His mind went blank.

Crouching in the corner, so close to the edge that all it would take was a gust of wind to send him tumbling down, was some sort of winged creature. And the wings were massive things that arched up before curving downward completely over it’s back, the tips draped on the ground. Judging by how large they were, they had to be functional, which nearly caused him to wet himself. 

He didn’t want to imagine that thing taking flight after him. Not that he would be exciting prey. Gods, this probably how a mouse felt when a hawk was flying overhead.

But it was the horns that really caught his attention. They were hulking black spirals and the sharp points were pointed right at him. Even in the poor light, it was obvious that they were pure black. Any other time, he might comment on how cool they actually were, how they were a cosplayer’s dream, but it wasn’t cool when it was a matter of life and death. 

And he would most certainly die if those menacing horns and wings were any indication.

Trying to keep the element of surprise, he slowly let the door swing shut. Until a little bat started flew over squeaking, which caused him to squeak as well. The door hit the frame with a loud rattle. His body went heavy with fear and his eyes snapped shut, a natural prey response. He had never, ever been this scared.  

Not patient enough for Shang Qinghua to turn around on his own, the creature flung him around to face it with an aggressive growl. And he had thought it was loud when he was on the sidewalk. Which wasn’t true at all. It was much louder and more intimidating when it was right in his face.

“Trespasser!” it growled, teeth clicking.

…Okay, so it could talk. Maybe this was a good thing. Now could grovel with it to spare him!

Blinking rapidly, he opened his eyes and looked up, up, up. It didn’t look as horrific from the front as it did the back. In fact, it had a humanoid appearance and was distinctly male. He was the hottest thing he’d ever seen, a total fantasy come to life. How the hell was he real?

His was incredibly tall, his huge wings proportional to his size now that he was standing up. Now that he saw them up close, Shang Qinghua noticed that they were a beautiful shade of blue that started out dark but lightened to pale blue once it reached the tips, which also had sharp spikes—Nails? Claws? He wasn’t well versed in anatomy—attached.

The top of his ears were pointy, too, just like the tops of the wings. Oh, and the horns! There were two of them, both pure, glossy obsidian, that sprouted out on either side of his temple, the bases thick and ridged as they spiraled like a ram’s. The only difference was that his horns were much larger. He could maul someone with those along if he wasn’t careful.

But now that he considered it more—even in times of crisis, he could multi-task when it really counted—the horns only added more to his attractiveness. They were intimating, sure, but also sexy, in a monsterfucking type of way. He gasped as a clawed hand wrapped around his throat. Yep, he could definitely get into the horns and claws. Mark him down as scared and horny.

The growling died down but sharp teeth were still on display, and there was a stylized tattoo-looking mark on his forehead. Despite the snarl, Shang Qinghua instinctively knew that his face was insanely attractive; it had to be to match the rest of him. Speaking of the rest of him…

He dropped down in front of him, making sure to drag his hands down that ripped physique and gave his massive pectorals a quick squeeze before he landed on his knees in a kneeling position. 

His face was right in front of the creature’s impressive package, covered only by a flimsy loin cloth. It fluttered in the night breeze and he had to bite down on his finger to stop his depraved moaning. “Ff-forgive me, my good-demon-sir, but I swear I’m not trespassing. I’m a humble worker here at this museum.”

He quickly took out his employee badge to offer it up to the demon who barely gave it a glance. “Gargoyle,” it said in reply.

“Oh. I’m sorry but I don’t really know what you mean by that.” Wait, why did he say that? He didn’t want to get further in the demon’s bad side than he already was! “I mean no offense, of course. I’m sure gargoyles are absolutely lovely—”

“No,” he interrupted, his face smoothed out into blank slate. It made it harder to read him but Shang Qinghua quickly decided that it was alright. “I am a gargoyle, human. You may address me as Mobei Jun.”

Ohhh. Now that he mentioned it, his wings and horns could belong to a gargoyle. He knew that they were popular parts historical buildings that had a strong Western influence, which the museum did.

“And I am a king. Not a sir.”

Curse his authority kink. He was sure that any new fantasies he conjured up would be staring this particular king and Shang Qinghua as his servant.

“Of course, my king! You’re reeking of kingly handsomeness. As a lowly human, my apologies for the obvious mistake.” The gargoyle king didn’t make any move to acknowledge his words other than a slow blink, so he figured that it was all good. “Excuse me if this sounds rude, but what are you doing up here? And what was all the noise about?”

“Guardian. I was charged with the safety of this place by a war lord.” Jeez. So he’d been with the building for centuries at least, maybe even millennia.

There was a pause and he realized that he wasn’t going to answer the second question. It also seemed like the gargoyle king was waiting on him and a light bulb went off. “S-sorry again my king. I am Shang Qinghua. I am in charge of the rare artifacts inside of the building, so you may see me closing up most nights.”

The gargoyle king nodded sagely and he figured that the role must be acceptable to him. A loud sigh left him and his muscles relaxed just in the slightest way. He might survive this encounter yet. Ever better, survive and be able to go home and break out that new bottle of lube that he bought last week. There was plenty of new material to work with, that was for sure.

Then the gargoyle stepped back, giving him more space, which was actually the opposite of what he wanted. Feel free to punish him for earlier transgressions, king, especially if they were rough in a sexy way!

Unaware of his inner pleadings, he continued walking away to crouch back near the edge of the roof.

“Umm, be careful, king. It’s dangerous to be that close—”

“I am a king. Concerns such as that are not applicable,” he said, puffing up his chest. Those pecs! He might have to put in a request tomorrow to do more work on the roof. It was a crime that no one was admiring that body on a regular basis. “Leave. Return home. The circles under your eyes are hideous.”

He gasped, touching his bags. Rude! He had just finished a long shift and definitely wasn’t at his best. He was going to have to step up his game if he was going to tempt this gargoyle in the future. Trying his best not to show embarrassment, or disappointment, he agreed to leave.

“Whatever you want, my king. I’ll leave for now but if you need anything, I’ll be back tomorrow and the day after as well. In fact, every night, in case you need me.” Screw his weekend off. Who needed one of those when there was a hot gargoyle of legend serving as the guardian of the museum. Not him, that’s who.

He scrambled to his feet and bowed again for good measure. The door was open and he was across the threshold when his dream gargoyle muttered something. “Did you say something, my king?”

He cleared his throat and spoke gruffly. “The pigeons pooped in my hair.”

Suddenly, the growling from earlier made sense. No matter if you were human or gargoyle, having birds shit in your hair, especially hair as luscious as Mobei Jun’s, was bound to make anyone furious.

Determined to keep his laughs to himself if it was the last thing he did, he merely replied, “Yes, my king. I will make sure to chase them away from you next time.”

“See that you do.”

On cloud nine, Shang Qinghua grinned as he bounded down the stairwell. The gargoyle’s comment implied that there would be a next time. And he intended to romance the loincloth off (literally) of the serious gargoyle king.

Hope you all enjoyed! So happy to share this with everyone. Thanks for reading :)

[sugarandspice-games]

Flirty Cosplayer MC makes Levi Jealous

Leviathan should really be used to this feeling.

This burning, clawing, twisting in his chest that shortens his breath and makes his muscles jump with the urge to run, and hide, and never look back.

Even if he wanted to not look back, he couldn’t look away. 

How could he?

This happened every single time you went to a convention together. It should have been fun: conventions were typically the place to share your interests with like minded people, and he had been eager to see you in the costume he made for you, showing off his hard work…

But there you stood, in the middle of a sea of flashing cameras, side by side with a handsome cosplayer dressed as the Lord of Shadows… and to add insult to injury, his arm was draped around your shoulder!

He knew it was only for the purpose of the photo, because the characters were close... But still!

Still…

Seeing you so close with someone who was practically better than him in every way, while you were so far away tore at his heart-- and you were smiling so brightly…

“Levi!” 

Of course. Of course, Asmo would pop in at a time like this… It was his friend after all!

His handsome, talkative friend holding you…

“What, Asmo?” He couldn’t help the slight whine in his voice or how the consonants seem to drag. “What do you want?”

“Ooo! Someone is grumpy!” Asmo’s chipper voice was grinding on his last nerve and Levi huffed, crossing his arms. Asmo only held up his hands with a patient smile. “You should be happy! Isn’t this the kind of thing you live for and our cute MC is modeling for you!”

Asmo wasn’t wrong, but everything else was wrong! There shouldn’t be someone else with his arms around his Henry and you shouldn’t be smiling like that!

“I guess... “

“Levi… What’s wrong?” Asmo’s tone was suddenly serious. “Really, you aren’t this gloomy unless…”

“Levi!”

Your call interrupted Asmo’s statement and Levi’s stomach loosened a bit to clench once more as you approached-- fingers wrapped around the (amazing, better) man’s wrist. 

“I wanted to show you his costume! I thought you might like it--”

“This isn’t the best time, MC. I’m busy,”

Levi blurted out the first thing that came to mind, clutching the oversized Azuki-tan he had in his arms. He had forgotten about her, honestly, but now, he squeezed her and squeezed her tighter when your smile faltered. 

“Oh, I’m sorry…” You kept your tone light but your eyes were disappointed. “Zaelix was here today and I figured you might like to have lunch with him since he loves the Lord of Shadows, too…”

Levi couldn’t help but think that it was as if you didn’t realize it. 

The way that demon was looking at you, his eyes entranced with your every move, his hands somehow finding a way to brush your shoulders or pick spare strings off of your costume-- the costume Levi had spent countless hours agonizing over so it would be perfect for you-- as if looking for any excuse to touch you. 

But who could blame him? Levi didn’t, because who wouldn’t fall for someone as radiant and wonderful as you? 

No, if anything it was his own fault. It was his fault for not being more like the man in front of him… and if anything, the way you giggled at his words and scanned him up and down implied you shared his attraction.

You just kept touching him and biting your lip.

 He couldn’t blame you either, for wanting someone more in your league than some washed up has-been of a general who had lost his purpose. For someone better that could go out, go to school and whose entire identity wasn’t being a yucky otaku…

You deserved so much better.

No, you deserved the best.

But… This wasn’t the first, second, or even twentieth time something like this had happened, either… you were just so charming that people flocked to your side, practically begging for your attention like starving puppies begged for food. 

Each and every time, it left Levi confused, hopeless, and…

It sent a fire burning through his veins. 

A fire that wanted to protect you, to keep you for himself. Because he wished he could keep you safe from every pair of eyes that longed to have you for themselves.

That longed to take you away from him, because how could he win?

“Levi? Are you okay?”

Your concerned, slightly hurt gaze snapped him from his reverie and he took a breath. Even if he couldn’t compare to this guy, he couldn’t let you look like that. 

Not his Henry.

“I-I’m great! Sorry about that, I didn’t mean it,” He laughed shakily, fluffing up Azuki-tan harshly. “Azuki-tan is just really soft!”

“She does look soft,” Zaelix responded but his eyes were not on Azuki-tan but you.

Bile started to climb Levi’s throat, but it settled as you let go of Zaelix’s wrist to caress Azuki-tan adoringly. 

“She is very soft... “ You murmured, before reaching to pinch his cheek gently. “But you’re softer Leviachan!”

You ruffled his hair fondly. His cheeks reddened as his heart thunders behind his ribcage.

Zaelix cleared his throat, clearly upset that he’s being ignored at the moment, and Levi’s chest tightened in response.

“So, uh… I wanted to compliment you on your costume, actually,” he said as he turned to you, “Did you buy it somewhere, or did you make it yourself?”

Levi expected your hand to fall and it hurt just as much as he expected… but you didn’t turn to stand beside Zaelix. Instead, you planted yourself beside him, giggling.

“Awww! Thank you so much! Actually…” You grinned and reached over to steal Azuki-tan from him to press your face against her. “My boyfriend made it!”

Your… boyfriend…

Levi.exe has experienced a fatal error. 

Levi.exe has stopped working and will shortly shut down.

He thought his face couldn’t get any redder, but it was roughly the color of a freshly washed hell radish, burning brighter than the sun and dripping with enough sweat to drown a small houseplant. Just like one of those scenes in shoujo anime where the pretty boy does something that nearly causes the protagonist to die of heart failure…!

“Your... boyfriend?” Zaelix questioned, looking around before his eyes finally settled on Levi, who blinked back at him owlishly. “Oh.” 

Zaelix started looking a little flushed himself; it seemed that it was his turn to be embarrassed!

Levi smiled just a bit.

“Yep!” You chirped, pressing yourself close to Levi’s side and wrapping one arm around him, “My boyfriend, the master tailor! He’s an absolute wizard when it comes to fabrics, and he cosplays himself sometimes! If you follow my Devilgram, he made every cosplay you’ve seen there!”

A… wizard? A master tailor?!

He was going to literally die, but you were beaming at him so he just nodded mechanically. 

“Yeah… I did. Anything for my Henry…”

“Oh… “ Zaelix said with an awkward smile, “Man, you’re a pretty talented guy! I knew you were a part of the student council, but I didn’t know you were so handy with a sewing machine. If you take commissions, I might have to get you to make one for me sometime.”

“Of course!” You jumped right in and fluttered your eyelashes at Zaelix. “We look forward to your commission. Right, honey?”

You just called him honey...

You kissed Levi’s cheek and he had no idea what just happened but you were smiling at him! And holding Azuki-tan! And looking so dashing as Henry!

It was a good day!

You winked at Asmo discreetly as Zaelix joined him finally before tugging Levi towards the small, makeshift Ruri-chan Cafe you had spotted earlier. 

Anything for your grumpy Lord of Shadows.