#diary of almost everything
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Things I Googled at 2:00 AM
It’s 2:00 AM and I’m Googling whether cats can get bored of their humans. Not because anything happened, mine are both asleep and content, but because I suddenly remembered an article I saw three weeks ago and never read.One search turns into ten. I jump from feline psychology to the side effects of vitamin D overdose, to whether I should be worried that my birth control pills got a little warm…
#anxiety brain#blog#curiosity#daily life#diary entry#diary of almost everything#digital age#emotional honesty#essay#google spiral#humour in chaos#introspection#late night thoughts#life at night#mental clutter#midnight musings#modern life#odd questions#overthinking#personal essay#quirky thoughts#relatable habits#sleep stories
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Guess which outfit I wore on my only public outing to the grocery store today and what I’ve been wearing to draw outside, clean like crazy, and give my dogs a spa day😭😭
Plus my studio ghibli redraw of Seb and Eloise🥹🥹🥹 they look like BABIES😭♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
#Tuesdays are kind of like my day off🫶 so I take advantage and do a LOT !!!!!#btw things with me are better not fixed but better we are working on it♥️#Lots and lots of uncomfortable terrible but necessary conversations#and starting therapy which is scary bc I do NOT like opening up except on tumblr which is my stupid diary#anyways I genuinely love all of you and I hope to be more present here agian soon#ignoring the fandom nonsense I almost wrote my own post about it#but it basically could be summed up by interact with what you’re interested in#ignore what you want#and there aren’t many creators active atm and we all support each other#so if there’s anything you wish you could see in the fandom that people aren’t posting about#maybe you could create it yourself🫶 people are nice I swear#and I’m getting so sad and tired of people assuming everything is disingenuous bc what does it accomplish to just assume the worst of people#ok that’s my rant it’s all I’m going to say about this whole nonsense♥️
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if jess annouces a mcd comeback in vidcon u all owe me garrance fics /j
#no bc why are the garrance fics so#limited#ive read almost everything#pls help#aphmau#mystreet#minecraft diaries#jamie tweaking#aphblr#laurance zvahl#garroth romeave#garrance
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Is this a safe space to say that I also think Alexander skarsgard is too old play murderbot
#the murderbot diaries#besides everything else i mean#🦎#tmbd#murderbot#murderbot tv show#that man is almost 50 and im not being ageist but i imagine murderbot as more like..... ageless. like no age. just an adult#and i feel like casting someone over 40 is not doing it for me
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u know when youre bored of everything and it feels like theres a hole that youre trying to close but it just keeps sucking everything up
#pissing me thefuck OFF#Ive tried everything ive gone for swims ive eaten snacks and drank water I went for a walk#every time I pick smth up it jumps to smth else like some sort of itch I cant scratch#and stuff that doesnt take a lot of energy like going thru pinterest reading old messages playing Tetris#I haven’t even listened to music in almost 2 weeks wtf. I cant sleep#I wanna talk to ppl but smths stopping me like I get exhausted before I can even come up with smth to say#like oh I have free time I should try this game someone recommended me its already on my ds but I cant even get past the menu#is this some sort of creative block or smth. sigh#maybe i wanna play with someone but it feels like a huge list of tasks and commitments that I can’t keep up with#and I don’t want the other person to have to read between the lines being wishy washy abt it even though I asked to play#yapping#diary#ffffffuuuck
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i am so tired, my heel is bleeding and i know i have sooo much work waiting for me tomorrow and the gym was so full with teenagers that i wanted to leave straight when i went inside and now i have to do dishes and shower and literary no one has it harder than me okay?? no one...
#jk i am just tired and wanted to whine#like all last week end the whole weekend the gym was almost empty and today everything was taken#how rude#sorry hi#this is my diary so let me live#personal
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Title: St. Augustine
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries
Character(s): Elena Gilbert
Summary: When it comes to being looked at, Elena could choose to be an object, or she could choose to have some semblance of control in an unavoidable situation. She could ignore them or encourage them; she had no power to stop them. Elena does what she can live with.
Or: How does a girl like Elena Gilbert become a girl like Elena Gilbert? A (mostly) pre-canon character study
Warnings: underage, creepy adults, sexualization of a minor, this is *girlhood* but instead of cutesie aesthetics it's only the stuff you were too ashamed to tell anyone, dead dove: do not eat, literally all of this is canon typical, abortion, except that, bc not even caroline's parasite babies called for an abortion according to jp, your parents fuck you up even when they're trying to protect you, elena literally marries a man more than a century older than her in canon none of this should shock you - but it still will, i survived a codependent homoerotic teenage girl friendship but also we were abused/harassed by the same adult man, student/teacher relationship, but not like in the sexy way, nah the traumatic one (for once), many authority figures trying to take advantage of one very confused child, three guesses who, like maybe being a petrova is actually a nightmare? read to find out, me asking the question: what would it look like if we took the petrova allure completely seriously and then threw one of them into the real world - as a teenage girl, how much trauma can one girl take before she stops fighting and becomes someone she doesn't recognize in order to survive? because seriously season 1 elena was ready to throw down with damon over caroline so how did we get to marriage and babies???? a canon typical amount of mean girl behavior, slurs abound, horror
Read: AO3
Tagged: @randomestfandoms
#mine#my fics#my edits#the vampire diaries#elena gilbert#elena stan club#st. augustine#bella writes (allegedly)#yes this is (half of) the addendum outtake#it is also everything I have ever wanted to say about tvd and elena and petrovas and what it means to be a teenage girl#and you do not need to read addendum to understand this part because it's all pre-canon#mostly pre-show canon with a tiny bit of s1 and s2 of tvd sprinkled in at the end#I maintain that the outtake version has the more satisfying ending#and this one is just really fucking sad#but it's still what I want to say#and it's not my fault canon fucked up so bad I had to fix it with a crossover lmao#I personally do not think you need to watch spn to read addendum#mostly because it's a direct rewrite of spn with Elena added#seriously I would literally watch the show as I wrote the chapters up until the last few#so it's almost entirely exactly what happened in the show and you don't need to watch to understand lmao#all you're missing is the lack of a female lead and major amounts of sexism#and I fixed that so read my stupid insane fic that took nearly a decade to write <3#or just read this version and be very sad and emotional scarred up to you lmao
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big fan of when things work out <3
#sounds almost silly but yeah#i love days where u get things done n everything acc goes well :) esp when things have been tough#diary#tiyas thoughts
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will make a bigger post about this later but i've been thinking about my rewrite lately, specifically the jury. Was thinkin about how (Zane excluded) there were 8 jurors, and how since I wanted the DW to all be foils of each other, I wanted the jurors to all be foils of each other (idk if foil is the right word here but yall get it i think)
Then I started thinking about how I want Irena and Shad to be foils of each other, and "dang I really want Zane to have a foil, specifically for his role as an extension of Irena, but who could that be??" and it's like. Aaron is right there.
Because like?? Irena literally destroyed Shad's life. Killed his child, tore apart his family, and banished him from his home. All for her own selfish wants.
And then Zane does LITERALLY the exact same shit to Aaron. I can't remember how much of this is canon vs rewrite, but the pieces fit together a little too perfectly lmao
#this might be totally nonsensical if everything I said is just shit I made up#i would have no way of knowing idr anything about the source material#but like??#was that on purpose????#it almost feels like it#aphmau#minecraft diaries#zane ro'meave#aaron lycan#snek speaks#irene the matron#shad the destroyer
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I Don’t Miss the Old Me (But I Still Think About Her)
Sometimes it’s not even nostalgia that hits, it’s embarrassment.One photo, one song, and suddenly I’m back in a memory I didn’t ask for, wondering why I thought glittery butterfly clips and my Nokia ringtone were peak personality.Truth is, I don’t miss who I was.But I do sometimes miss the world around her. The slower days. The way a whole summer could fit into one lazy afternoon. The way plans…
#90s kid#awkward moments#diary of almost everything#emotional growth#essay#growing up#identity#non fiction#nostalgia#personal story#quiet strength#resilience#self-reflection#softness#womanhood
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need hyungseok to spank me while his other hand is shoved knuckle deep inside of me tbh idk
#never opening pinterest again i am so serious#hes soooooo 🫠🫠#☆ ; dear diary ?#i actually wanted to go out today to buy a new digital camera bc i wanted an upgrade to my old one#bUT I COMPLETELY SLEPT THROUGH THESE LAST 2 DAYS#so then i ordered one but itll arrive in like 10 days#i want it nOW#HURRY UP#i wanna go downtown n do some shopping i feel like i earned it#bUT ITS ALMOST 7PM AND P MUCH EVERYTHING CLOSES AT 8#except for like grocery stores but why would i even go there 😭😭
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only mcd characters i care abt are vylad and liochant and also menphia everyone else can go home
#liochant is menphias descendent btw and i have proof but dont ask for it#joking but like look at their armor. under the gold chains or whatever menphia has armor almost identical to liochants#maybe its like a family emblem bc the royal guards from tula are depicted wearing blue and bronze armor#whereas liochant is in dark armor#w menphia’s symbol on his chestplate#hes menphias great great (x20) grandbaby ok guys#also what the hell is vylad up to in tula whats he doing over there#guys i have so many thoughts abt tu’la specifically#also king of tu’la isnt actually the king of the whole reason. i think itd be cool if havas was like a parallel to okhasis#REGION I MEANT REGION. not reason… whaddahell#anyway back to the okhasis parallel#where its trying to take over other villages to turn the region back into a full kingdom#bc mikai refers to him as the king of havas only whereas ppl in ru’uan call him the king of tu’la#can kinda show how ppl in ru’uan dont rlly get whats actually going on in tu’la#im bored someone talk to me abt this stuff dm me rn im looking at you with my eyeballs#minecraft diaries#also fun FACT (bc everything i say is canon) abt menphia shes a lesbian did you know#not in love w irene tho i think she had a beautiful wife that irene may or may not have used to make menphia’s relic who knows
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eepiest little man in the building
#HIS EARS ARE SO BIG HELP#so ive heard type shit#he has a habit of tilting his head back when he’s being petted like he fucking CONKS it back its so funny#we visited a cat cafe today I wanna go back again… there are so many of them#the room was really well maintained like we wore shoe covers and everything. and there’s a back room for the cats to go if they wanna#tap out so thats nice. BUT THIS LIL GUY. OHHHHH LIL MAN#he looks almost completely black but he seems to have these slightly darker stripes which are hard to see..??#THERES ALSO AN ENORMOUS MAINE COON NICKNAMED THE KING OF THE ROOM? HES HUGE JESUS CHRIST#made friends with a curious white and orange one who looked like he was thinking of pouncing down on me#and a very VERY pretty white and silver point with blue eyes who was happy to greet everyone#my brother was stuck on the floor bc a Persian that snubbed everyone else looked at him like ‘you. your lap is MINE’#and kept him there for 20 minutes. another cat wanted a turn but the Persian claimed him ;w;#my brother was popular with the cats bc they could probably sense he’s the calmest person in the room LOL#diary#yapping#cats#I wanna go back again sometime…
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🎀💭 blog revamp: complete!ㅤ۫ ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ 💭 🎀ㅤ
i know i've not been very active lately, and i apologise! i have been getting my shit together in real life and online and have been working through some personal bits. i know i often go on and off of hiatuses randomly, but i'm attempting learning consistency in all areas of my life (and managing my time better because i'm absolutely terrible at it) and tumblr seems to be one of them that i need to work on too. anyway, thank you for your patience, and look forward to my usual messy, non-consistent chaotic girly posts ♡
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 WHAT'S NEW?
my blog is now divided into two seperate parts: @hue-hearts, my music, k-pop, media, reviews, etc. blog, and @huellitaa (this blog), which is my digital diary, photo dump, glow up, chaotic it girl blog.
updated my intro post, making each of my blogs now easy to navigate and giving you all more information ♡
i still don't have a posting schedule and no i will not be using the queue. i want to post what i want when i want without being held to any kind of schedule.
#announcements ୨𖹭୧#IM NOT LYING THIS TIME I SWEAR GUYS.#sappy-ish rant below 💭🎀#im so happy with how i've redone my blog(s) and i think they're SOOO CUTE AJFJSKFJJD#and i want to use this as my digital diary a little more#because tumblr really is a safe space for me and is like. my most treasured possession 😭#my blog is my baby if i lost her i lost me#but anyway. theres almost two thousand people who actually care about my nonsense and it warms my heart#it sounds so depressing#but i am very used to being overlooked or ignored and unappreciated#and knowing almost two thousand people or around that care about what i have to say makes my heart so full i want to burst#it's such a small thing but truly i am so grateful for everything in my life#especially the privelege of having met everybody on this little platform and having it become an essential part of my life 💕#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#girlhood#pink pilates princess#female insanity#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#im just a girl#announcement#girl code#pink blog#girlcore#girlworld#girl therapy#girl thoughts
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i loove data so much i started making a puzzle dictionary that i add any word and description to that i didn’t know
#and it’s been useful too! so often i know that i’ve had a word in a puzzle before but i can’t remember what it was#and now i can look it up! and i learn new words too :)#generally using notebooks for… everything… has been so life changing#i have a notebook for puzzles one for games one for general notes one for therapy stuff#and my special bulletpoint notebook for anything i just feel a strong fondness toward and want to save#almost like a diary or journal but without any pressure or regularity#and also with more data 😈 like my pencil lists or my entire old spotify library#yay
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i would like to thank my hip for flaring up out of the blue and reminding me that i desperately need to get my shit together when it comes to the whole rheumatology situation. needed that reminder that there's like stakes here lol
#tbh at this point i don't even know what i think is going on#certain diagnoses cover some bases but not all of them and i'm missing a few key hallmarks of almost everything#but my hip is fucking killing me in a Very specific way rn that means at the very least arthritis might not be the only player here#but my rheum actually just thinks it's all bc i'm fat and i should take drugs about it so what do i know lmao#anyway need to schedule that mri but also need to figure out how to get in with the other rheum in the network it's great love it ✌️#the maddie diaries
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