#did you know morgana is a lesbian?

[treasureguardingdragon]

genderqueer gwen and genderfluid merlin having a conversation about feeling out of place with societies views of gender, and finding solace in the fact they can both relate and dont feel so alone

meanwhile arthur is watching them both and proceeds to interrupt in in an arthur like manner and just rolls his eyes and says ‘yk its not all that unusual. when i went to gaius as a child, upset they everyone believed me to be a girl and that my voice wasnt low like all the other men, he gave me this magical medieval testosterone potion to make me feel better about it. he told me to never tell my father because it just wasn’t something people talked about?? Anyway im a man now.’

Gwen: arthur… there is a lot to unpack there but… join the club?!!!

Merlin: YOU ABSOLUTE CLOTPOLE UR SUCH AN IDIOT SOMETIMES DID YOU NEVER THINK TO ASK—

Morgana: did u guys know i am a lesbian

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

1: Magic is a Metaphor < 2: Morgana is a Lesbian > 3: Merlin is Gay > 4: Arthur is Bi

Building off of the whole metaphor idea, Morgana's character arc is basically that she starts to question her identity because she's having all of these dreams and thoughts that she doesn't understand. Then Gaius, who is straight up a conversion therapist, literally gaslights her and is like, 'no no, you're just going crazy, you're overreacting, here, why don't you take all of these drugs to suppress those thoughts?'

Meanwhile, Uther is saying all of this stuff about how sorcerers are all evil and should be killed, and Morgana will try to argue with him and he will just be like, 'well, why do you care so much?' And she's all, 'oh, no reason. I'm just an ally. I'm just really passionate about social justice.' Like, girl, we've all been there.

And then once Morgana does come to terms with her identity and she realises how fucked up the way that she was treated is, she goes batshit and starts a revolution and assassinates her dad. And good for her! I honestly think that all repressed lesbians deserve a little bit of murder, it's only fair, especially if they look so hot doing it.

Also, Morgana doesn't have any male love interests. I mean, she will sometimes flirt with men to manipulate them into doing what she wants, but it's very clear that that is what she is doing, she never actually cares about them or follows through.

Besides, Katie McGrath has never played a heterosexual in her life. She's basically straight up said that she played Morgana as a lesbian. You know where she said that? Here:

Hear me out.

Are they technically half-sisters? Yes. But omg the sexual tension between these two is undeniable. You really do think that they're just going to kiss at any given moment. This has been straight up confirmed. This is a quote from the same conversation as earlier between the main producer and Katie McGrath, where they fully admit that there are definitely lesbian undertones there, and not only did both actresses play it that way, but it was written that way. So I rest my case.

Gwen knew about Morgana's prophetic visions from the start and she was never scared of it or tried to deny that it was magic. Instead, she was always by Morgana's bedside (or in her bed) so she could hold her face and stroke her hair and tell her she would be okay. Gayasses.

Although, as Iori Miyazawa can attest, yuri is often best found in the absence of it. Because once Morgana accepts her identity and her magic becomes an unavoidable part of of her life rather than thoughts she could repress, she begins to push Gwen away, often in the form of telling her not to undress her anymore.

Then this tension between them is emphasised when Morgana starts having nightmares of Gwen marrying Arthur and is really upset by it for some reason. I know that she justifies it by saying that she doesn't want Gwen to take her place as queen, but if you think about that for more than 5 seconds, it makes absolutely no sense. Arthur is still going to be king regardless of who he marries, so unless Morgana is planning to follow the legend a bit too closely and marry her brother, then Gwen is absolutely not taking her place.

And yet Morgana spends the entire rest of the show obsessing over Gwen, including: planting false evidence to break up Gwen and Arthur, using necroLancey as a puppet to seduce her, kidnapping Gwen only to tenderly caress her face and force her to have dinner with her, and then of course enchanting Gwen to kill Arthur so that Morgana can be queen, and Gwen will seemingly also still be queen. And they will be two queens, together, platonically. Hmmm

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 1

Propaganda Under Cut

Alana Bloom

she kissed will graham in s1 and dated hannibal in s2 so you can imagine how bad the fandom is to her. fun fact she's in a canon lesbian relationship now tho <3

The show literally does the yaoi treatment of victimisation for the benefit of the male leads to her. And then the fandom mistreats her

I'm not sure if this even counts but...Literally a victim of Yaoi along with several other characters in-series, but she got it almost the worst. The entire show is just people dying because the two male leads are OBSESSED with each other and can't be normal about anything. Alana Bloom, actual PhD of psychology and consultant to the FBI, got kissed by one guy, fucked and fed people-meant by the other, and pushed out a window by the murder husbands' forced-surrogate daughter. Like. Actual victim of several crimes caused by yaoi. She's probably one of the few examples of a Yaoi Victim overcoming and evolving past her yaoi-related trauma into a stronger person/character, though: She gets an entire character overhaul and a hot, millionairess for a wife. She kills a man with an eel. She becomes head of the BSHCI, effectively putting her in complete power over her jackass cannibal ex-bf. She does quite well. Unfortunately, the rest of her screen time is spent trying not to get killed in the ongoing fallout of Hannibal and Will's fucked up courtship, but hey. Can't have everything. I don't even know if I'm saying anything valid here: the fandom loves her, but I supposed her position outside of the Hannigram relationship relegates her to a non-subject in a lot of Hannigram-focused fanwork. She's an 'obstacle' to their relationship only in the sense that Will had a crush on her once that went nowhere and Hannibal started an actual relationship with her SPECIFICALLY to piss off Will. I guess she's also a more literal obstacle as Hannibal's jailer and Will's friend who's constantly pointing out to him that Morals exist and he should try having some of those, maybe.

Gwen

She stands in the way of Merthur, by far the most popular ship in the fandom. I haven’t seen it as much in recent years, but back in the days of fanfiction.net she got slut shamed so badly for having been romantically interested in three of the male characters over the course of the show, which is just... normal straight woman behavior, meanwhile Merlin crushed on pretty much every woman who even looked at him in the early seasons of the show and got no hate for that whatsoever. I barely even read Merthur fics (not because it’s m/m, just because certain aspects of their relationship don’t appeal to me) but the “Gwen is a slut” attitude was so pervasive across the fandom, even fics that weren’t explicitly anti-Gwen would “jokingly” call her a slut. I even saw a few fics demonizing her for having an affair with Lancelot despite the fact that SHE WAS ENCHANTED when that happened, and surprise surprise, Lancelot (who was also under the influence of magic) got none of that hate, and neither did Arthur, who got enchanted to fall in love with multiple women over the course of the show.

Canonically Arthur Pendragon's love interest and an important and interesting character in the show who's completely shoved aside and ignored in favour of the medieval bbc yaoi ship. At best they put her and Morgana in Lesbian Timeout (ie make them get together and then reduce them to wingwomen at best because god forbid we focus on the medieval bbc yuri). Justice for Gwen right now!

She is prince Arthur's love interest (eventually wife). Arthur is MADLY in love with her. He tells his tyrannical father he would give up his crown to be with her (she's a servant in the series). He forgives her cheating on him with Lancelot (!), which in the show is caused by an evil enchantment, but the characters never find out about it. He chooses her time and time again. His love for Gwen is literally never put into question. Many fans insist to this day that there was no chemistry between Gwen and Arthur compared to Arthur and Merlin. Arthur isn’t even particularly nice to Merlin most of the time! The funny thing is that Merlin himself ships these two so hard and does everything he can to help them get together!! Gwen & Arthur are adorable and too many fans were drunk on the yaoi fumes to see it. ARTHUR WAS A SIMP FOR GWEN.

[phantoms-lair]

The Stray

So with the talk of Conan characters in Persona I'm dusting off this thing I wrote a while ago inspired by this post by RedRobin-Detective which crossed my dash while I was playing Persona Strikers and this happened

"You can't tell anyone!" The look on Conan's face was pure desperation.

"I have to." Takagi said grimly.

"I don't care about proper procedure. They may have infiltrated the police! We'll both be killed, along with anyone we might have told."

"I don't care about 'proper procedure'. But I do care about you and others being in danger. And that stops. Now. Even if it means we have to go outside the law to do it."

"What?" This didn't match what he knew about Takagi, not at all. Takagi was bright and eager to please, but with little self confidence and easy to lead around. Takagi did not take charge and he most certainly did not do so by starting with going outside the law. But what could Conan do? He was currently helpless with the knowledge Takagi had now, that the Organization existed.

He let himself be led on a train, Takagi texting the whole time. There was a brief stop where he got some sushi to go, and then Takagi led him down some small roads to a place called 'Cafe LeBlanc' that Conan was fairly sure would be nigh unfindable if you didn't know it was there.

"Like the guy who wrote the original Lupin?" Conan asked, speaking up for the first time.

Takagi shrugged. "Can't say what the original owner was thinking, but the current one is amused by it."

The cafe was small and cozy. The smell of coffee and curry permeated the air and Conan felt hungry despite himself.

"No outside food allowed," said the man behind the counter, albeit with a smile on his face.

"Awww. No Fatty Tuna for Morgana, then?" Takagi asked with a big grin on his face.

There was a loud yowl and a black and white cat jumped on the counter. "You spoil him," the man said with the same smile.

"And you don't?" Takagi smirked back.

Conan sat there, petting the cat while Takagi talked to the cafe owner like an old friend. What did this have to do with the Organization? Why did Takagi bring him here?

The bell over the door rang an in walked, well, someone Conan hadn't expected in a hole in the wall like this. Takamaki Ann, a fashion designer who worked for Ginko. Conan only knew of her due to the minor scandal a few years back of Campbell-san promoting an openly lesbian woman to be her chief designer.

More people came in. Some Conan recognized (Kitagawa Yuusuke, a well known artist. Niijima Makoto, the most hard and nails Director of Internal Affairs the TMPD had ever seen) others he hadn't, like the blonde man who sat next to Takamaki-san and the red-headed woman who perched on the stool next to him like a gargoyle. And they all knew each other.

"Oh dear, I seem the last one." A woman with short curled hair walked in. "I know Sumire is out of the country and Grampa is out in Kyoto. Unless..." All those gathered turned to the cafe owner, who shrugged.

"I don't know why any of you think I know what goes on in his head."

"Better than we do," the blond man said with a wide grin. "So what's the 411?"

"Our beloved little brother brought in one of his strays, and it's one of the two that don't exist." The red head cackled. "This is going to be good."

Strays? Wait. "What do you mean I don't exist?" Conan asked nervously.

The TV in the corner flickered and a virtual avatar popped up. "You do not. All records of your identity are false and were only created shortly after you appeared at Mouri-san's and began to solve cases for him."

Conan felt his stomach drop. No one was supposed to know that! Why had they pulled up his records before this? After all, they couldn't have in so little time...

"Right, and now you have to settle a bet," Red headed girl leaned in, grinning.

"A bet?" Conan asked weakly.

"Are you Kudo Shinichi?"

The floor dropped beneath him, This was impossible. They couldn't...

"Back off Navi. No scaring the client." The Cafe owner said in a stern voice that had the red head sit back abashedly.

"Why...why would you think I was...." His voice sounded so weak, even to his own ears.

"The timing matches up between your appearance and and his disappearance." Navi said. "And your mannerisms are the same."

"And hours before 'Edogawa Conan' appeared for the first time, a young boy matching your description with similar injuries to the ones you had then claimed to be Kudo Shinichi who'd been assaulted and poisoned." Nijiima pointed out. "Of course at that point no one knew Kudo-kun had vanished and by the time anyone questioned where he was, the little boy in too large clothes that matched the ones Kudo-kun had been wearing that day had long since vanished."

"Or become Edogawa Conan." Blond man said with a grin.

"Our client is Edogawa Conan, and that's how he'd like to be known, regardless of who he might have been in the past. Takagi's voice was uncharacteristically firm and Conan was grateful for it.

He'd completely forgotten the police officers he'd talked to in the first hour after his change, who he'd desperately tried to convince of the truth. And if these people had put it together, who knows who else may have.

"And our target?" The cafe owner asked.

Target???

"A group known as the Black Organization. Involved in blackmail and murder." Takagi glanced at Conan.

"Definitely murder. Bombings, developments of poisons, manipulating organized crime..." He trailed off.

"Confirmed?" The cafe owner looked at Takagi.

"I can confirm what I said and I don't doubt Conan-kun's knowledge."

"Alright. As always, we put it to a vote. The vote must be unanimous. All in favor?"

Everyone raised their hand, even the cat.

"All opposed." Nothing.

The cafe owner smiled at Conan. "You can call me Joker. The Phantom Thieves of Heart taken taken your case."

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

I read somewhere that Merlin BBC (especially Merlin and Arthur's relationship) is subtext mlm like Hannibal NBC & Good Omens, do you agree?

Yes I do. The subtext is font size 20, bold and more consistent than the actual plot. /hj

In all seriousness though,

I don’t know anything about Hannibal NBC but Good Omens is a canonically queer show, I can’t remember the book enough to comment, it’s been a while since I read it properly more than skimming, but for the show but I’d definitely recommend season 2 to see more about Crowley and Aziraphel’s relationship. There’s also Maggie and Nina for lesbian rep, Muriel being canonically non binary and none of the angels or demons have a gender despite how they’re perceived.

As for BBC Merlin, they’ve confirmed it was intended to be a gay romance in the series finale commentary.

“In all seriousness, we did very genuinely think of the episode as a love story between two men” -quote by Julian Jones, the show’s director and producer with Katie McGrath, who played Morgana. There were also jokes about Merlin and Arthur being together throughout the commentary, comments about “there goes the last vestiges of his heterosexuality” “can’t have a show without lesbians” and “Merlin can’t have a love interest without you killing him off.” “Or her.” “Well,”(Last 3/5 quotes are paraphrasing, I don’t remember them word for word but you get the idea)

Contextually, it was before a time when gay marriage was even legalised in the UK and queer baiting wasn’t a thing because queerness wasn’t spoken about to begin with. There’s definitely something to be said for magic as an allegory for queerness and I can go into my opinions on that at length and in great detail if asked.

Merlin and Arthur’s relationship is canonically a friendship, there’s no denying that and as an aroace person it means the world to me that they weren’t together officially romantically, whatever you want to call it, even if they acted like an old married couple the entire time. In that same vein, as a queer person growing up in a very homophobic household in the UK, seeing them on tv as a kid was everything. I genuinely thought they were together for years until I started watching the show because I’d only seen a few bits and then fan edits of that moment by the river in season 2.

And this got longer than I was expecting so to summarise; I love merthur in all formats, be it romantic, platonic, or otherwise. But there is definitely subtext throughout the show, and a turning point for their relationship at the end of season 4/beginning of season 5.

[yorit1]

Merlin was excited. It was the day of his wedding. He and Arthur have been dating since Morgana and Gwen's wedding. Gwen was Merlin's best friend, and Morgana was Arthur's sister. Merlin and Arthur met when Gwen and Morgana moved in together. At first, they did not get along. But they soon became fast friends. They finally admitted their feelings for each other at Gwen and Morgana's wedding. Merlin and Arthur had proposed to each other at the same time. It was magical. Their friends were all there watching as they proposed to each other. Merlin was preparing for his wedding with Gwen, Lance, and Gwaine. He wore his wedding suit and thought he looked good if he could say so himself. "You look so handsome, Merlin," Gwen cooed. "You look good, my friend," Lance said. "Princess is one lucky man," Gwaine leered and winked at Merlin. "Okay, let's get going. We don't want you late for your wedding," Gwen said. Merlin looked at himself in the mirror one last time and left to get married.

Arthur was nervous. Today, he was marrying his best friend. His other half. The idiot Merlin. Arthur could not believe that the day had arrived. It feels like he has been waiting for years to marry Merlin. He was in his suite with Morgana, Leon, Elyan, and Percy, helping him prepare for the wedding. "How do I look?" Arthur asked. "If I wasn't a lesbian and you weren't my brother, I'd marry you," Morgana said. "You look good, man," Percy said. "I'm so happy that you are marrying Merlin. You deserve to be happy, Arthur," Leon said. "Maybe I'll meet my perfect match at this wedding," Elyan said. Arthur looked at himself in the mirror. He thought he looked good. He appreciated what he saw in the mirror and thought Merlin would enjoy it. "Time to go. We don't want Merlin to wait," Leon said. Arthur looked at his reflection one last time and turned to leave the suite.

Merlin was walked down the aisle by Hunith. He and Arthur would walk down the aisle one after the other. First, Gwen and Morgana walked down the aisle hand in hand. Leon, Lance, Elyan, Percy, and Gwaine followed them. Finally, it was Merlin's turn to walk down the aisle. He was excited to walk down with his mum. He was marrying the man of his dreams. Growing up gay in a small village in Wales, he never thought he would get married. But his best friend introduced him to the man that he was marrying. He arrived at the alter, and Arthur arrived a moment later. Merlin and Arthur turned to face each other. Merlin thought that Arthur looked handsome in his suit. He looked regal with his blonde hair and the suit. He could not believe that soon he would be his husband. Arthur took Merlin's hands, and they stared into each other's eyes. Merlin could see Arthur's love for him shining in his eyes. Merlin was happy. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Merlin and Arthur," the registrar said. "If anyone knows why these two should not get married, speak up now or forever hold your silence." Merlin looked around and saw that everyone was smiling at them. Merlin was happy that no one objected to him marrying Arthur. "Good, no objections," the registrar said. "Let's get started. Merlin and Arthur have prepared their vows." "Growing up gay in a small village in Wales, I thought I'd forever be alone. Then I went to uni in London and met my best friend, Gwen. Gwen met the woman of her dreams and moved in with her. There, I met her brother. At first, I thought he was a prat. But soon, I got to know the person under the clotpole persona. He was kind and brave and stood up for those who couldn't stand up for themselves. We became friends, and I fell in love with him. I worried it would ruin our friendship, so I decided not to tell him. Then, we had a situation at Gwen and Morgana's wedding, and finally, we admitted our feelings to each other. Since we started dating, I have been the happiest ever. All my dreams came true. I had an amazing boyfriend who I loved. I was loved back. Today, my last dream comes true: I get to marry the man of my dreams. So, Arthur, I am ready to marry you," Merlin said, looking into Arthur's eyes. "When I realised I was bisexual, it wasn't easy for me. I knew that Uther wouldn't accept me. I was worried about what he would think. Morgana was already out as a lesbian, and he was furious. Morgana was moving in with her girlfriend, Gwen. At the housewarming party, I met an idiot. He spoke to me like no one has ever before. I was bewitched. You got under my skin. I couldn't get you out of my head. Uther still hoped I'd marry a society lady since I also like women. But from that moment on, it has only been Merlin. You have bewitched me heart and soul. I am so happy to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. You, my idiot," Arthur said, staring into Merlin's eyes. "Great, let's move on to the next part," the registrar said. "Repeat after me. I, Merlin Emerys, take you, Arthur Pendragon, as my lawful wedded husband." "I, Merlin Emerys, take you, Arthur Pendragon, to be my lawful wedded husband," Merlin said. "I, Arthur Pendragon, take you Merlin Emerys to be my lawful wedded husband," the registrar said. "I, Arthur Pendragon, take you, Merlin Emerys, to be my lawful wedded husband," Arthur said. "With this ring is a symbol of my love," Merlin said as he slid the ring on Arthur's finger. "This ring shows all my love for you," Arthur said as he slid the ring on Merlin's finger. "Great, I now pronounce you husbands. You may kiss each other," the registrar said. Arthur and Merlin kissed. Merlin could not believe that he was kissing his husband. The kiss was sweet, and they swayed slightly as they kissed. It was one of their best kisses. Merlin took Arthur's hand, and they walked down the aisle as everyone threw confetti at them. Merlin could not believe that he was married. All his dreams had come true.

As Merlin and Arthur walked to the hotel's reception room, Arthur thought he was now married. He could not believe that he had a husband. Merlin was Arthur's husband. He and Merlin were entwined for eternity. They walked into the reception room and saw that all their friends were there. He and Merlin walked to the table where Hunith, Morgana, and their closest friends sat. "Little brother, you finally joined us in marital bliss. Uther must be fuming both his children in same-sex marriages," Morgana said. Gwen kissed his cheek and sat down next to her wife. After eating the first course, it was time for their first dance. He and Merlin knew the perfect song to play for this, and Arthur was excited to dance with Merlin as husbands. "May I have this dance?" Arthur asked Merlin as he put his arm out for Merlin to take. Merlin stood up, and they went to the dance floor. Merlin and Arthur put their arms around each other and started swaying to the music. Arthur looked into Merlin's eyes as they danced. Arthur could see all the love in Merlin's eyes. He knew that the same love was reflected in his own eyes. Arthur was so lost in the dance that the song soon ended. Soon, everyone was joining them on the dance floor. Arthur danced with Morgana, and Merlin danced with Hunith. Arthur was enjoying his dance with Morgana. He was lucky to have her support and at least one family member there on his wedding day. After dancing, it was time for the main course. The food was exquisite. This hotel has outdone themselves. It was finally time for Arthur and Merlin to cut their wedding cake. Merlin and Arthur were in sync while cutting the cake. Then Arthur shoved the piece of cake into Merlin's face as Merlin shoved the cake into Arthur's face. Merlin laughed, and Arthur thought it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. His husband laughed in delight for shoving cake into his face. Arthur took Merlin's face and kissed it. He tasted like the cake. His husband tasted good. Arthur could not wait to get to the wedding night part and for them to show each other exactly what they meant to each other. "I love you, idiot," Arthur said. "I love you, clotpole," Merlin said. They bid everyone goodbye and celebrated their wedding in their hotel room.

[idsb]

the very baffled gracie abrams anon back at it again! how the FUCK did i not know her mother was katie mcgrath, of bbc merlin’s tale on morgana (aka my lesbian awakening) fame???? (sorry to !!! @ you i’m just like. What. lol.)

Hahahha I’m gonna be so real I do not have a CLUE who that is but I can imagine the mindfuckery going on for you rn and I very much appreciate it

[thegainingdesk]

The Crossroads of the Goddess

Zach heard the front door open and close, and frantically shoved his erection into his pants and buttoned up his trousers. Zach took one last look at the image on his phone, a man easily weighing over 400 pounds, hoisting his gut up with one arm, the other arm straining down to grip a small nub of cock still visible poking out of the soft pillow of fat at his groin, before he closed the window, hiding all evidence of his wrongdoings.

"You're back early," Zach said to Ellis as he came down the stairs.

"You're one to talk" Ellis snapped. "Why aren't you at the gym?"

Zach stifled a sigh. It was going to be one of those evenings. "I just think I pulled a tendon, I was going to take it easy for a while," he lied.

Ellis scoffed. "Do you really think that's a good idea? Do you remember what you looked like when we started going out? That gross little pot belly?"

"I remember," Zach said sadly. What Ellis remembered as a pot belly, Zach thought back on as a starter belly, the seed of something that could have been so much more.

"Then you understand why you can't just decide to take days off at the gym." Ellis marched into the kitchen and pulled out two tupperware containers filled with portioned out rice, chicken breast and broccoli. "I'm going to take some out of yours," he told Zach matter-of-factly. "You've not spent the energy at the gym so it'll be excess calories."

Zach felt his stomach ache as he watched the food fall into the bin.

-

"Would you like sex tonight?" Ellis asked bluntly, not looking up from his phone.

Zach looked up from across the room. He was gripping his phone tightly and unnaturally high, so that he was sure his screen was hidden from Ellis. "No, it's fine," he said. "I'm quite tired." He went back to reading a story about a man who was magically gaining one pound a day, imagining himself as the protagonist.

"Okay, that works for me," Ellis replied. "I might go to the gym early tomorrow so that I can get to work and prep for that meeting."

"Oh, umm, yeah. Good luck with that, you'll do great," Zach tried to offer.

Ellis stared. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked. Zach recognised the tone Ellis used when he wanted an argument. "Do you think it won't go well?"

"No, that's not what I- I was just trying to say something nice," Zach said quietly.

"Well I don't need luck, I'm good at my fucking job, alright? Why don't you try and remember that while you sleep in the spare room that we can only afford because of my job."

Zach bit his tongue, knowing that pointing out that his job paid more than Ellis' would just make things worse. "I'm sorry, you're right,' he said instead, as he did so often.

Ellis left the room in a huff.

Zach rubbed his face with his hands and stood up to get some bedding for the spare room.

-

A woman stood at the crossroads in front of Zach. Despite the cold wind he felt through his pyjamas, her long dress and hair were unmoving. Zach almost began to think she was a statue until she began to speak.

"I am Morgana, Zachary. We have both been brought here by the Goddess to this space between time." Her voice was imperious, strong and clear. Zachary thought he could hear the ocean in it, could hear memory and mercury and power. As he approached, she smelled of gunpowder and ancient forests. "Actually, could we speed this up? I know you're in awe and stuff but actually I've got this date with this hot lesbian who looks like Aubrey Plaza and I'd quite like to go get eaten out, if it's all the same to you." Zach could hear impatience in her voice now, and a slight whine.

"Am I dreaming?" Zach asked.

"Are you- is he dreaming, he fucking asks," the woman, Morgana, said. "You went to sleep, right, and now you're stood at a misty crossroads with a mysterious and powerful woman. Yes you are fucking dreaming." She felt distinctly less mysterious and powerful now, but Zach thought it better not to say anything.

"This doesn't feel like a normal dream," Zach said.

Morgana rolled her eyes. "You've read the Sandman? Or at least seen the show?"

"I'm listening to the audioboo-"

"Oh, I haven't listened to them yet, are they good? It's that sort of shit, anyway. Dreams define reality, reality defines yada-yada-yada." Morgana looked at a watch on her wrist. "Anyway, I've been sent here as an emissary to the Goddess as the patron saint of sad sacks or something, despite the terms of our agreement being quite clear, and previous exchanges being very adequate!" She said this last part up to the sky, her voice raising to its previous grandeur, but still tinged with the whine she'd adopted. She looked back at Zach. "You're not happy," she said simply.

"I'm not happy," Zach replied, just as simply.

"Good," Morgana said. "Not good, sorry, but at least, like, you're the right person."

"No, it's fine," Zach reassured her.

"I'm here to give you a do-over, another chance," she told him. She pulled out a pocket watch from somewhere in her dress. "This dress has pockets!" she told him gleefully. "I'm going to send you back to a point in your life where you made a choice," she continued. "And let you make that choice again, see what might have been. Then I'll bring you back here, and you can decide." She looked closely at Zach.

"Why me?" he asked.

"Because you're sad," she replied.

"But why me?" he repeated. "There's loads of sad people. People who would choose differently. Why me?"

Morgana shrugged. "Luck of the draw, guardian angel, interesting narrative device. Take your pick." She raised the pocket watch. "I hope you make the most of this chance Zach."

The pocket watch opened.

Zach fell, through the ground, through a swirling mass of colour and sounds and smell and sensation. Zach fell through clouds made of time and felt winds made of potential. Zach fell and fell and fell, spiraling so fast and so long he thought he would die. The clouds dissipated, the wind stopped, and he could see the ground below him. He was going too fast, he had to slow down, he could see buildings and streets and gardens and oh god he was going to hit the ground he was going to hit the ground and die and this was it this is how he died the ground was so close now there was nothing he could do he was going to die he was going to die in his pyjamas and the ground was coming closer and closer as it hurtled up to meet him he was about to crash into it and he would die and that would be it.

Zach stood outside The Rabbit and Stoat, a pub he remembered fondly from his time at uni. Wasn't he dead? He was sure he was about to die. He didn't feel dead.

He looked down at himself. He was wearing his favourite shirt from uni. Light blue with little pictures of otters all over it. What had happened to this shirt? His jeans were tight as well, far tighter and sexier than he'd wear nowadays. In fact, wasn't this-

"My date outfit," Zach said out loud to himself. "This is my old date outfit, I'm about to go on a date."

"Good for you love," an old woman said as she walked past.

Zach examined himself in the reflection of a nearby shop window. His skin looked youthful and fresh, and he laughed as he caught sight of the wispy stubble that grew along his sharp jawline, remembering how proud he was of what was in hindsight, barely a beard at all. His hair was the same dark orange he remembered, although perhaps his hairline was a little fuller and further down than he was used to.

There was nothing else for it. Zach squared his shoulders and walked forwards through the door, and looked around. Morgana said he'd be going into his own past, so he should recognise someone surely. And old flame? Some poor Grindr date he'd met once and rejected?

Zach froze when he spotted him. Josh. Sat nursing a pint and eating a bag of pork scratchings, handsome and tall and bearded and… well, and fat. A gut hung over his waistline, his shirt hugged his torso, and a heavy beard failed to hide heavy cheeks.

Josh was where it had started. The gainer porn, the stolen glances at beer bellies and dad bods in public, the obsession with all things fat. His relationship with Josh, all too brief, was the spark that ignited it all.

Josh was also where it ended. After they broke up, Zach was too scared, too self-conscious, to ever act on his desires again. Instead, Zach had to make do with his mind wandering back to Josh time and time again, while he returned to convention and expectation.

Josh had spotted him, and he raised his hand in greeting, a smile further rounding out his chubby cheeks. Zach forced his legs to move.

"Hi, Josh right?" he asked as he approached.

"Yeah, yeah. Zach?" Josh extended out a large hand, which Zach took. A jolt of electricity ran down Zach's spine. "It's so awkward on a first date isn't it, trying to guess what the other person looks like based off a few pictures."

Zach gave a small, nervous laugh. "Yeah, awkward."

Josh grinned, downed his drink and stood. Zach forgot just how big Josh was. Over 6 feet tall and broad, he'd have been heavy without the gut. Zach's eyes briefly slipped down to the meaty bulge at his crotch.

"I'll get the first round," Josh said with a wide smile. "What'll it be?"

Josh came back shortly after carrying two pints and a bag of scampi fries. Zach was mesmerised by his thick thighs and the pot belly they supported. Josh placed the pints down and settled down himself, grinning at Zach, opening up the bag of crisps and putting them on the table between them.

"So, tell me about this Zach character I keep on heating about," Josh said with a wink as he took his first sip.

The date was as easy and carefree as Zach had remembered. Josh was charming and funny and smart and so very sexy, and Zach felt his confidence growing as the date went on, flirting back, making his own jokes, hell, he even felt pretty sexy himself. Even if this was just a dream, Zach was determined to make the most of it.

As the night wore on, and the two drank more and more, each round accompanied by snacks, it became more difficult to keep their hands off each other. They would steal glances around the bar, checking no one was looking, before grabbing a squeeze of a thigh, or a pec, or of Josh's gut. Eventually, the two couldn't contain themselves, moving into a dark corner to steal a snog. Josh's hand moved slowly across Zach's tented chrotch, and he had to stifle a moan.

"We should go," Zach whispered.

Josh nodding, breathing heavily. "I live round the corner," he said. "If you wanted to?"

Zach didn't reply, simply pulling Josh up with him, and the two stumbled out of the pub laughing.

By the time they'd reached Josh's room, the two couldn't keep their hands off each other, and Josh began to unbutton Zach's trousers before they even got in. "Your housemates…" Zach began.

"Fuck 'em," Josh growled, before continuing with his groping and kissing. The two stumbled through the door, Zach clumsily unbuttoning Josh's shirt, finally getting to run his hands along that wide, heavy gut, sinking his fingers in, feeling the size and weight of it.

Josh smirked. "You like that, do you?" Zach simply nodded and kissed Josh hungrily, never taking his hands off of Josh's gut.

Josh maneuvered Zach backwards and pushed him down. Zach didn't hit the bed. He thought for a second that Josh had miscalculated and pushed him onto the floor, before the room dissolved into clouds, and he fell further and further down. Far above him, Josh seemed to blur and spread like ink in water, until he too eventually joined the storm that Zach was falling through.

He felt his shirt tighten around him, buttons straining against a thickening body. His jeans slid down, until there was a gap of several inches between the waistline and the hem of his shirt. As he fell, he pressed a finger into the fresh fat of his newly grown stomach, watching as it sunk into the second knuckle.

He landed on his feet, still wearing the same clothes, now in his own bedroom from uni. Light streamed in through the wide window he'd loved so much while he lived there, and he stood in front of a full-length mirror.

His shirt and jeans, once his favourite, once a mainstay of dates, were comically small now. A paunch swelled out over his waistline, and buttons gaped around soft flesh. A full-blown muffin top rose like dough between his shirt and jeans, filling a gap that could never hope to be closed.

In the mirror he saw Josh walk up behind him, chuckling. Leaning down, he kissed Zach's neck from behind and stroked Zach's gut with both hands, one finger dancing around his belly button. "Mmm, I'm not sure this fits anymore," Josh teased. Zach could see a smile growing on Josh's face, and his gut pressed into his back. "To be honest, I thought it was a little small when you wore it to that buffet last month, but you were just so cute that I couldn't bear to say anything."

Zach turned around, his face flushing. He remembered this moment, in vivid detail. It had played in his head hundreds of times since. He knew what happened next. He'd stormed out, tearing off the too small shirt and throwing it in the back of a cupboard, never to be seen again. He calmed down, but there was a tension in the relationship from that moment on, and they broke up a few weeks later. It wasn't long before he met Ellis, who whipped him back into shape.

It took a long time for Zach to respond. Eventually his eyes flicked up to meet Josh's. "Do you mind?"

Josh's smile grew wider and he leant into Zach's ear. "I fucking love it," he whispered, before kissing Zach slowly. He pulled back. "But best find another shirt for tonight. I'm not sure the fine patrons of Nandos will appreciate it quite so much, eh?" Zach laughed, relieved. Josh began to unbutton his shirt for him. "You want me to get rid of this for you?" Josh asked.

Zach shook his head. "I might keep hold of it," he said. "A reminder of the good times." He looked into his wardrobe, most of which, he admitted to himself, was no longer fit for purpose. "I'll go through all of this tomorrow though, donate a load to a charity shop." He pulled out a shirt that once fit perfectly, and winked at Josh. "I'm not sure I'll be fitting back into them anytime soon."

The room once again collapsed, and Josh's bulky body dissipated into the ether. Zach felt gravity twist and pull and warp in unfamiliar ways, tossing his body like a rag doll. Just as quickly as it had started, an unfamiliar room coalesced around him.

He found himself lying on his back, Josh straddling his waist above him, holding a box of donuts. Zach could feel Josh's hard cock press into his own, and was surprised to see how close their respective bellies were to touching.

"This is so hot," Josh said, pushing a donut into Zach's mouth. "I can't believe you're finally the same size as me, it's insane." Zach tried to chew, taken by surprise by how forcefully Josh had pushed the pastry in.

He looked down at himself. While he was shocked by Josh's statement - Josh was just so big, they couldn't really be the same size, could he? - he couldn't deny that it was believable. While Josh looked roughly the same size as he remembered him, maybe a little bigger, Zach's own body had swelled in size, his once small paunch now filling his middle and spilling up and out, covering up both his and Josh's cocks from his point of view. Josh's thighs were spread wide to accommodate Zach's fresh girth. Zach knew that Josh still probably weighed a fair bit more, due to having a taller and broader frame, but their guts were very much matched.

Zach swallowed the donut that Josh had fed him, but immediately another one was pushed into his mouth. He tried to speak around it, but only muffled sounds came out. Josh grinned. "Shh, shh, don't worry about a thing, you just concentrate on eating and growing for me." He tossed the now empty donut box to the side. Zach swallowed the barely chewed fried treat, suddenly aware of how tight his stomach felt.

Josh leant over to something on the bedside table, his own gut drooping down as he did so. When he straightened up, he was holding a large jug of some thick, brown liquid. "I blended some Ben and Jerry's into it this time, I think the chunks should have broken up enough."

Zach opened his mouth to respond, but the only thing that came out was a low, rattling burp. "I'm so fat," he said simply, once he'd finished.

Josh grinned and brought the jug closer to Zach's face. "You're so fucking fat," he said. "And this is just the beginning, just you wait and see." He began to pour the shake slowly into Zach's mouth. At first Zach choked a little against the cold, but quickly found his rhythm, muscle memory kicking in. The taste was sweet, and oily, and rich, a mad deluge of flavour and calories. The texture was thick and gritty, so that he had to concentrate on swallowing.

With Josh's free hand he reached down. Zach could feel him searching between the two soft pillows of fat that swaddled their torsos, until he found Zach's hard, leaking cock. He began to pump his hand at the same pace as he rocked his hips, the friction of the two motions working together to make Zach's eyes roll back into his head. He heard Josh moan above him. "You were so skinny," Josh sighed, his voice strained and barely audible. "Now look at you. I thought that I'd just put a bit of a gut on you, get you a few stone heavier, but you wanted it so so much, you just couldn't stop yourse - oh, oh, ohhhhh." The pace of his rocking became erratic as Zach felt a warm wetness spread across his belly. Without stopping his swallowing, he reached up with one hand and rubbed Josh's gut, now comparable to his own. Thankfully, Josh continued his attentions to Zach, and Zach wriggled beneath him until the large jug was completely empty. Josh tipped it up to drain the last few drops, and Zach gasped as he too reached his climax.

Josh rolled off of Zach and lay down next to him, both panting. Zach tangled his fingers through the hair on Josh's belly. "Did you not want to get fatter too?"

Josh laughed. "Would you like that?" he asked, a smile spreading across his face. "Yeah, yeah, I could see myself putting on a bit more. Can't be looking too skinny next to my big man, can I?"

Zach smiled and sat up, surprised and aroused at how much effort it took. "Right then, I'll go get some more ice cream." He turned back to Josh. "It's your turn."

As he reached the door, the room span and fell apart. Clothes formed around his body from the fog around him, and shafts of sunlight came down from below as shadows rose above him, growing higher and higher until-

"Say cheese!" an elderly woman told him, before a bright flash dazed him. The woman shooed him away, before grabbing a small, timid looking woman in the same graduation cap and gown that Zach was wearing and hurriedly taking her picture too.

"Here you go," a man with a receding hairline said to Zach, holding up a tablet to show him a picture of himself against a plain blue backdrop, holding his diploma. "That alright?"

Zach studied the face in the picture. He had to be over 300 pounds, he thought. His cheeks were heavy and round, and while he'd attempted to grow a beard in a clear attempt to hide his double chin, it was far too sparse to do anything to disguise just how plump his face was now.

Josh walked up and kissed his cheek, grinning proudly. "Well done! I was sat with your parents for the ceremony." He gestured over at his parents, both looking a little dismayed at the size of their son.

Zach looked Josh and himself up and down, and realised his parents might have good reason for their dismay. Zach had ballooned, his graduation gown covering him like Homer Simpson in a muumuu. Even Josh, as heavy as his frame naturally made him, probably weighed less than Zach now. Even so, Zach noticed how Josh's suit stretched to accommodate him, and it was clear that Zach's growth was contagious.

"Hullo son," Zach's dad said, walking over with a thin smile and shaking his hand firmly. "We're so proud of you, of course." Zach's mother hung back a little, the slight woman staring silently agog at the size of her son. "We thought we'd take you for some cocktails," his father continued, "to celebrate before we head back home. There's a bar down the road that looks quite nice."

Josh cleared his throat. "Oh, we booked a table at a restaurant, actually Fred. You're more than welcome to join us, of course, we booked it for four."

Zach's dad's face twitched. "A restaurant, of course. Got to eat sometime I suppose." He looked at his wife, who shrugged nervously. "Uhh, yes, we can come along and maybe have something light, can't we Mary? Bit of a funny time to eat isn't, not quite lunch, not quite dinner." He made a show of looking at his watch.

Josh laughed and patted Zach on the shoulder. "Oh, we're not too bothered about mealtimes are we Zach, we just sort of eat when we feel like it."

Zach's mum made a sound like a squeak. "Yes, well, umm, maybe that's something to think about a bit, eh?" his dad said. "Well, we got you something, to say congratulations, anyway, on graduating, and the job." Zach's mum took her cue and pulled a small box out of her handbag.

"Job?" Zach asked, looking confused.

"Merton and Wainwright," his mother said in her small voice, speaking for the first time and handing over the box. "Very prestigious, we really are very proud." She gave a small thin smile and leant up to kiss his cheek, but when she realised she couldn't reach over the swell of his body, settled on patting his arm a few times.

Zach opened the box and looked at the expensive looking watch inside. Merton and Wainwright - not a name he'd thought about in a longtime. He'd interviewed with the law firm shortly before graduating, but their feedback had been that he was bright but lacked a lot of confidence. He'd gone on to get a series of perfectly fine jobs at a number of other firms, never quite settling, until Ellis had kicked up a fuss about not having bought a house yet, so Zach had settled down for a bit of stability, and they'd bought their perfectly nice modern-build in the suburbs.

"Right, yes, of course, Merton and Wainwright," he said. "Thanks so much, the watch is lovely."

"On second thought, maybe best we leave you to it, eh?" Zach's dad said. "I'm sure you've got plenty of friends to see." Zach hugged them both, eclipsing both of their bodies with his, before they awkwardly shuffled off.

"They're not big fans of your new and improved look then?" Josh asked Zach.

Zach shook his head. "You know, that actually might have been the least awkward conversation I've had with them in years."

Josh laughed. "Come on, let's return your cap and gown. I'm hungry, so you must be starving."

Zach reached for Josh's hand, but his fingers passed through, the world once again spinning into a blur. He knew what to expect by now, so just closed his eyes and did his best to ignore the rushing sensation he felt.

He opened his eyes to the bright glare of fluorescent lighting, and the sterile floors of a supermarket. The bottom of his gut was cold, where it hung out of his t-shirt and sat directly on the handle of his trolley. He attempted to lift it off but it was large enough that if his hands could reach the handle, so could his gut, and he had to choose between his gut bumping into it continuously, or laying on top. He elected for the latter.

He walked forward slowly, having to focus on moving each thigh out and forwards, rolling each around the other in a slow, methodical waddle. He could feel his love-handles, each uncovered by his t-shirt no matter how he pulled it down, bounce up and down with each step. He felt something collide with his side, pressing into the wall of flesh like playdough before bouncing away.

He turned to see a man his age apologising. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking at where I was going and I sort of-"

"Ellis?" Zach interrupted.

Ellis looked confused. "Sorry, have we met, I'm not sure that I remember…"

Zach realised his mistake and quickly made up a lie. "No, no, well, yes, but ages ago, some uni party. You went to Newcastle, right?"

Ellis smiled slightly. "Uhh, yeah, that's right. Sorry, I really don't remember your name, you must think I'm so rude."

Zach waved his hand. "It's Zach. Don't worry, we only met briefly, I've just got a good head for names. And anyway," he gestured down at himself. "I look pretty different now."

Ellis gave an unsure chuckle. "Tell me about it," he said, patting his own gut.

Zach looked Ellis up and down, surprised that he wasn't the skeletal gym-bunny he remembered. Ellis was actually fat. Nothing like him or Josh of course, but far fatter than he'd ever expected to see him. Ellis' t-shirt clung to doughy moobs and love-handles, and his arse looked positively gelatinous. The faintest hint of chubby cheeks and a double chin warped the face that was oh-so familiar to Zach.

"Babes, there you are!" Zach looked up to see a god walking towards them, pushing a trolley and smiling at Ellis. The man must have been well over six and a half feet tall, with the muscles of a bodybuilder and a waist smaller than any part of Zach's body. The man's complexion was flawless, his eyes were a dazzling blue, his jawline sharp enough to cut diamonds. As he reached Ellis, he reached down and unsubtly squeezed his large, soft arse. "I thought I'd find you in the ice cream aisle." He turned to look at Zach, eyes taking in his body appraisingly. "I see you've met a friend!"

"This is Zach," Ellis said. "We were at uni together."

The marble statue of a man grinned wider. "Well well well, we'll have to invite you round sometime Zach. I'm Dylan. It looks like Ellis could learn a thing or two from you." He peered into Zach's trolley. "And look Ellis! He's got all your favourite types of ice cream as well." He leant down to whisper in Ellis' ear, loud enough for Zach still to hear. "Why don't you go and grab every single thing that your friend has in his trolley for yourself, hey? Would you like that?" Despite speaking to Ellis, he didn't break eye-contact with Zach.

Ellis nodded, and Zach could see him reach down to adjust his crotch, before dutifully obeying, checking Zach's trolley diligently to make sure he didn't miss anything. "Thank you," he said quietly to Dylan.

"What was that Ellis? I couldn't hear you," Dylan said loudly, smiling down at the shorter man.

"I said thank you sir," Ellis said, flushing bright red.

"What manners! Well Zach, lovely to meet you," he reached out and shook his hand. "Hopefully you'll be seeing a lot more of Ellis in the near future." He reached down and stroked one of Ellis' love handles, causing his t-shirt to ride up and expose soft, pale lard.

"Christ," Zach heard Josh say behind him. "Who was the giant?" He turned to see Josh with an armful of biscuits, which he tipped into the trolley.

"New boyfriend of someone I met at uni," Zach said, watching the two of them walk away. "And I don't think he was that big, was he?"

"Well no, I reckon weight-wise we probably both had him beat." Josh shook his own gut, mammoth by most standards, but dwarfed by Zach's. "Tall though. And hot. Will we see them again do you reckon?"

Zach shrugged. "Maybe. Hopefuly. He seems a lot happier now. He was always a bit miserable when I knew him."

"That's good then," Josh said.

"Yeah, yeah it really is," Zach replied. He picked out a couple more tubs of ice cream and added them to the trolley as the harsh lights of the aisle were shrouded in shadow. The world revolved around him and he fell once more.

A bed formed underneath Zach, in an unfamiliar room. Zach sank into the mattress, deeper and deeper, the bedsheets curving above him in a large dome. He struggled to sit up, using both arms and legs to push himself into a sitting position. His gut pushed his thighs apart until they were almost at right angles, with his gut sagging onto the mattress, the duvet slipping down its wide slope to reveal its full glory. He was surprised that even this simple action left him slightly out of breath.

Josh's gut entered the room, followed by the rest of him. With both hands he supported a tray on top of his belly. "Happy one year anniversary babes!" he said, a smile beaming on his face.

Zach looked down at his hand, where a simple wedding band cut slightly into his ring finger. He looked up. "Happy anniversary," he replied.

"I thought I'd bring you breakfast in bed, but don't worry, there's more downstairs, it's just what would fit on the tray," Josh said, placing the heaping tray down on the bed next to Zach and moving around the bed to kiss him on the cheek.

Zach picked up a slice of French toast and took a bite. "This is a lot of food," he said, eyeing up what must have been several pounds of food.

Josh laughed. "You've finally realised you eat quite a lot, have you?" He rubbed Zach's soft gut. "Shall I take some away then?"

Zach's stomach rumbled. "No, no. I was just saying." He took the top off a boiled egg, and dipped a slice of bread in the yolk. "Are you not eating anything?" he asked.

"Don't worry, this is all yours, you won't starve to death. I had something downstairs." He reached his fingers down Zach's gut, towards his crotch. "I can't believe your appetite sometimes, but then, look how big you've gotten after all these years." He squeezed his hand under Zach's gut, and Zach could feel him rummaging around, until he grasped Zach's cock and started to work it. Zach picked up several rashers of bacon and put them in his mouth, whole. "Is this big enough, do you think?" Josh asked as he stroked, his flabby arm jiggling with the motion. "Or will you keep going?"

Zach's eyes rolled back in his head. "More," was all he could say around the bacon. On instinct, he brought one hand up to play with his stretched nipples, the other grabbing more food, even as he tried to swallow his current mouthful.

"I could tell that first night, you know," Josh said. "Have I ever told you that? The way you stared at me, all those comments about how 'big' and 'strong' I was, how you couldn't keep your hands off that cute little gut I had." Zach moaned and did his best to thrust into Josh's hand, but his weight hindered him. "Do you remember how big you thought that gut was? How fat you thought I was? Could you imagine being so skinny ever again? I knew then that you'd want to get big as well, but I never imagined how far you'd take it. How small you'd make me seem, even as I gained right alongside you." Zach's moans reached a fever pitch, toast crumbs falling out of his mouth and onto his chest, as he came with a mighty shudder. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply between mouthfuls as he recovered.

Zach felt the weight of the bed shift around him, and opened his eyes to see Josh removing his sweatpants and lifting up his gut to reveal his once mighty cock, now more than half submerged by his fat pad. "Turn around," he grunted.

Zach struggled around, twisting and grunting and having to physically heft his gut to move it. The tray got pushed onto the floor with a clatter as his gut brushed past it. Finally, Zach was on all fours, his gut pressing against the mattress. He felt the mattress sink further as Josh knelt behind him, and felt the weight of Josh's gut on his back.

Zach could tell that Josh's cock wouldn't be able to overcome the twin obstacles of Josh's crotch fat and Zach's arse cheeks to reach his hole, but it seemed like he was building up enough friction to enjoy himself anyway, from the way that he groaned and animalistically gripped huge wedges of Zach's fat on his back and sides as he thrusted. The bed must have been specially made, Zach thought, because although it groaned and creaked under their combined weight, it was holding up valiantly.

After some time, Josh gave one final grunt and rolled to the side. Zach collapsed, relieved that his shaking arms no longer had to support his weight. Slowly, he rotated himself once more onto his back. Both lay panting for some time before Josh cleared his throat.

"I know we said we wouldn't do presents, but I found the fabric and remembered how much you used to love that shirt," he rolled off the bed and walked slowly over to the wardrobe, standing on tiptoes to take something from the top. He looked back at Zach and winked. "Figured you probably can't reach up here anymore." He turned back holding a wrapped gift, holding it out.

Zach tensed his body, and threw his weight to one side, rolling onto his side. Josh placed a hand on either shoulder and leant his strength to help Zach sit up on the side of the bed. Zach shooed him away, before haltingly standing. He took the present Josh was holding out, and began to unwrap it.

Inside was his old date shirt, with the same pattern of little swimming otters, but huge. There seemed to be entire yards of it. "I love it Josh, thank you," Zach said, leaning over to kiss his husband.

"Try it on then," Josh said, smiling. "I hope it's not too small." Zach laughed, imagining the circus tent he was holding being too small for anyone.

As he laughed, the room spiraled into colour and light and shadow once more. This time though, he felt himself rise through the maelstrom, up and up and up. He realised, as he did so, that the fat enveloping his body shrank and dissolved. His soft, sagging flesh rose and firmed, withdrew into a pert belly and tits, which further shrank and shrank and shrank, until he once more had the taut abs and toned muscles Ellis had cultivated on him over the years. As Zach's feet touched solid ground, he mournfully stroked his now thin body.

"Oh for fuck's sake."

He looked up to see Morgana, now dressed in an oversized Phoebe Bridger's t-shirt, her legs and feet bare. She tapped her foot impatiently.

"Date with Aubrey Plaz-a-like go well?" Zach asked.

"Absolutely bloody incredible," Morgana said. "But I didn't expect to come back here to find out I'm the patron saint of chubby chasers all of a sudden." She motioned with her arm behind Zach.

"What? I-" Zach turned to see what Morgana was gesturing at. Two Zachs stood before him, both dressed in the same light blue otter shirt, but while one was the same weight as he was now, the other was the same mammoth proportions of the vision he'd just experienced. Both were perfectly still. Neither had eyes.

"So not only am I apparently at the Goddess' beck and fucking call now," Morgana grumbled behind him. "But now apparently my speciality is fulfilling the deepest, darkest, heaviest wishes of the fat fetish community."

"This has happened before then?" Zach asked, looking over his shoulder at her.

Morgana sighed and walked towards the two eyeless Zachs. "Not this exactly, but when I-" She looked over at Zach and seemed to consider something for a moment. "Anyway, the Goddess made one of my friends monstrously fucking fat as well, and now it seems like, through me, you get the same thrilling opportunity." She rolled her eyes and looked the larger Zach up and down. "Not to yuck your yum or whatever, but I don't get it."

Zach turned back to the two stationary figures. Behind them, the sky was beginning to brighten, the first sign of dawn. "So what do I do now?"

Morgana peered into the smaller Zach's eye sockets curiously. "Choose," she said simply.

"Choose what?" Zach asked.

"Which one," she gestured at the two Zachs. "You made a choice once." She played with the hem of the larger Zach's shirt. "You've seen the consequences. Two lives. One you. Choose."

Zach looked at the two of them, avoiding their faces and their blank, hollow stares. He looked at the toned muscles of the smaller Zach. Remembered how out of breath even the smallest action took the larger Zach. He remembered how people would look at his sexy body in the gym. He imagined the disgusted stares his body would attract. He thought about Ellis. He thought about Josh.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and stepped towards his choice. He felt himself sink into the body, losing form and shape and features, becoming one with the unmoving statue. He opened his eyes to see an achingly thin version of himself without eyes. It stood for a moment, before a strong gust of wind seemed to shake it for a moment, and the fine dust that made it up dispersed and swirled around, carried away on the breeze.

He turned to look at Morgana. "Sun's almost up," she said with a small smile. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get eaten out by a hot bitch again."

A bright glow filled the horizon, filling the landscape with light. Zach threw up one hand to shield his eyes, but struggled against the duvet covering it.

He looked around at the dark room he was in. He lay, enormous and quivering, in an empty bed.

"Josh?" he called out. "Josh?"

He clambered out of bed as quickly as he could, shaking the furniture around the room. He left the room, not bothering to put any clothes on. "Josh?" What had he just done? Had he just given up his life, everything he'd known, for a fantasy that didn't even exist? Was this his fate now? Fat and alone?

He thundered down the stairs, the house creaking with each step. Somewhere in the house, he heard the sound of glasses and crockery rattling against each other.

"Babes?" he heard through an open door. Josh appeared in it, wearing a huge dressing gown which barely reached his knees. "What's going on?"

Zach stood on the bottom step. "I uh…" He tried his best to catch his breath. "You weren't in bed."

Josh sighed softly. "It's this cold, I couldn't get to sleep and you were like a bloody radiator," he said, his voice bunged up and hoarse. "Come in here, I'm watching some old Doctor Who."

Zach followed him through to a living room, where he crashed down into a crater in the sofa that he assumed had been formed by himself over time. Josh draped a blanket over his naked body, and grabbed one for himself.

"Didn't bother putting on any clothes?" Josh asked.

"I was worried," Zach replied.

Josh smiled and rubbed Zach's thigh. Zach returned the smile and turned to the TV to see Tom Baker hiding from an oversized mummy.

"Hungry?" Josh asked.

"You'll miss the episode," Zach protested.

"Ah, I've seen it loads, it's a classic. Besides, I can hardly expect you to get up and fetch it, now that you're sat down, can I?" He groaned and strained as he stood up. "I tell you what, I think soon we'll reach a limit on how big we can get purely based on the amount of calories we'll burn just getting up to get food."

"Not for a while yet though," Zach said.

"No, not for a while," Josh agreed, rubbing a hand through Zach's hair as he passed, his love handle brushing against Zach's arm.

As Zach relaxed, the dream that woke him up left his head. A witch was there maybe? And he was so thin! At one point, he remembered, he'd freaked out when he'd outgrown a favourite shirt, eventually leaving Josh for their friend Ellis, but he'd turned into some fatphobic twink rather than the soft sub Zach knew. He laughed to himself - outgrowing clothes was now a regular, and greatly looked forward to, occurrence.

Josh came back in and handed Zach a thick sandwich, piled high with fillings, an entire sharing bag of crisps to the side . "Anything good happen while I was out?" he asked.

Zach nodded. "Oh, yeah. The daleks and the cybermen have gone to war with those" he gestured at the screen, "mummy things."

Josh fell down on the sofa with a soft "oof!" "You're not even paying attention! You can make your own sandwich next time." He took a bite out of his own giant portion of food.

Zach looked down at his body. "Do you ever regret it?" he asked. "Getting so fat with me?"

"Well first off," Josh replied. "No. Secondly, I don't think you're in any position to call anyone fat. And thirdly, what's all this about? You going to start P90X and live off celery?"

Zach shook his head. "Just a dream I had."

"Do you?" Josh asked, peering closely at Zach. "Regret it? You've taken it a lot further than me, it's okay if you want to scale it back a bit."

Zach smiled. "No regrets," he said.

Josh returned his smile, reassured, and turned back to the TV. "Good, because I don't think you're capable of dieting."

Zach leaned over and grabbed a handful of Josh's gut. "You're one to talk. We'll see how good at dieting you are when you're my size." The two kissed.

Zach smiled as he forgot his dream entirely. No regrets.

[lesbicosmos]

bbc merlin liveblog - s1 ep2: valiant

i forgot abt how many dramatic slowmo shots of knights riding horses this show has

i say id love a sword but if i actually had to use one id probably be like merlin, just flailing around and tripping over my own feet (when i say probably i mean definitely, im like that without a sword)

any scenes of merlin without his neckerchief feel wrong, like merlin why are you naked put that scarf back on pls

morganas so pretty what the actual fuck

*dramatic sword fighting music begins*

morgwen being adorable in the stands while the men brutally attack each other <3

merlin: *makes a joke* arthur: *chuckles* merlin: :D

once again, the costume department for this show is insane i love every outfit (particularly morganas!! all her dresses are absolutely gorgeous)

the random sped up parts of some montage shots is hilarious to me and i cant explain why

"he's using magic" "are you sure?" - summary of the entire show

morgana holding onto and stroking gwen's cloak is so cute i love them so much

gotta love the creativity of the episodes so far, there's been magic death singing and magic death snake shield

"i wouldn't like to you" "i want you to swear to me that what you're telling me is true" WHY ARE THEY STOOD SO CLOSE TOGETHER THEYRE SO GAY

arthur talking to uther in the council room and merlin just stood a few paces behind him like🧍🏻‍♂️

this whole thing makes no sense, could they not have just...shown uther ewan's body which has a snake bite???

im loving the random cuts to morgana just looking ethereal as usual. director rly said give the lesbians what they want

merlin having not even been arthurs servant for an episode and being fired already- if only it was that easy for arthur to get rid of him 😭😭

god the set's so beautiful, i wanna go to pierrefonds so bad

"just give me a straight answer!" HA 'straight' sorry merlin ur destiny is anything but that

the compilation of merlin trying to get the spell right to bring the statue to life is FUCKING HILARIOUS that one shot where he's stood on something pointing down at the statue dramatically and yelling the incantation 😭

*morgana enters the room* *music changes to something actually ethereal and godly* as it should she's perfect

"i did it! :D" merlins so adorable

AND MORGANA SAVES THE DAY LIKE THE BADASS BITCH SHE IS I LOVE HER

"you're too proud to admit you were saved by a girl" "because i wasn't!" "you know what? i wish valiant was escorting me." "fine." "fine!" why did they think anyone would believe the almost-romance plotline theyre so incredibly siblings

[tiredfloridianbutverygay]

Kay so, I recently completed Persona 5 Royal Edition -thank you Atlus for porting it to the series X!- and I’ve recently started the New Game Plus. And... to me... *none* of the Phantom Thieves are straight. Descending in order...

Joker/Akira/Ren: Bi BI BI BI BI! Like his interactions with Akechi, no way is this boy straight

Ryuji: Demisexual and trans, not willing to get involved with anyone unless he knows them super well. Loyalty is a huge thing to him.

Ann, lesbian and ace. In love with Shiho. Triple the reason for her to hate Kamoshida’s perving.

Morgana: AroAce. Dude thinks he’s in love with his Lady Ann as that’s what he thinks normal humans should be like, attracted to pretty girls.

Yusuke: Ace, and genderfluid. Just like the Inari from the myths!

Makoto, LGBTQ but not really sure of her label and doesn’t really care

Futaba, def bi and above gender with no real preferred pronouns as per her comments to some of the other girls. Nor did she really seem to care Medjed was the name of a male god.

Haru: Pansexual, attracted to personalities like Ren and Ryuji’s. Sweet, incredibly loyal people who care for her as a person, not the Okumura heiress.

Goro: Super gay for Joker, but soooooooo super in denial

Sumire, pan again, and utterly in love with her Senpai.

[stormyoceans]

Monica, you often write about your bisexual ass. Is that true? May I ask how you understood that? I'm going through a metamorphosis of myself right now, and you give the impression of a person who cares, who can share experience of findingself.

hello, anon!!!!

i can confirm i am very much bisexual and that i've dated both men and women, although my actual serious relationships count amounts to a shocking number of...... two. so you know. im hardly an expert ;;;;;;;;

realizing i was bisexual was a bit.. tortuous for me, but im gonna try my best to keep it short. im also gonna put it under a read more since it's personal stuff and people may not want to see it, so if you're still interested about my personal experience you can find it under the cut!!!!!

right, so. basically i had this best friend who i had known since elementary school and we were very close and very affectionate with each others: we would cuddle and hold hands and even exchange little pecks on the lips as an hello. no one worried about it when we were kids and we never really questioned its 'normalcy', but as we grew older (around 11/12 years old) our families made it clear that that was not 'appropriate behavior', because certain things were okay to do only with boys

then high school happened and that was.. pretty much the worst period of my life ;;;;;;; my friend and i went to the same school and were in the same class, but while she was well liked and had quite a few relationships with boys, i was bullied a lot, until one day they started to refer to me as 'that lesbian', as if it were an insult. my friend started to pull away from me a little, but she would also buy me a rose for valentine's day every year and say she missed me and that no boy made her happy as i did, so i was. a bit confused ;;;;;;;; i also felt jealous of her, but i wasn't sure if it's because i wanted to be her or if i wanted her to just be with me

and you know, i was already deep into fandom spaces at the time, but it was also very different back then: there wasn't a lot of genuine queer representation (brokeback mountain came out when i was 15 and the only other queer relationship depicted on screen at the time was tara and willow from buffy the vampire slayer), shitting on female characters was considered 'cool', and you could find essays on how liking yaoi and being interested in MLM was 'completely normal because those stories are made exclusively by straight women for other straight women' (which is why i now hate this mentality but that's a whole different matter)

ANYWAY. after high school, my friend and i grew apart, then i met a guy in university who i REALLY liked, who shared my same interests and gave me back a little of self-confidence, and we dated for almost two years. then one day my friend contacted me out of nowhere to catch up and when we met she confessed that she had always liked me, and when she kissed me i didn't stop her. so we got together and were in a relationship for three years before it ended (badly), but the important thing here is that i was in my 20s at that point, and queer representation and awareness had started to slowly get better, especially in fandom spaces where there wasn't just heterosexuality and homosexuality anymore, but people were starting to talk about bisexuality and asexuality and gender identities too, so reading about all of that kinda did the trick for me. it's when i looked back and realized that there was a reason why i was obsessed with both sailor moon and dragon ball as a kid, and that i did indeed have a crush on harrison ford as han solo in star wars and heath ledger in a knight's tale but also on keira knightley as elizabeth swann in pirates of the caribbean and katie mcgrath as morgana in merlin. it wasn't an either/or situation, i liked both and that was who i was

okay so this still ended up being long as hell ;;;;;;; and im not sure reading any of this was actually helpful, or if im even the best person to talk to about this, but i do wanna say something that i find to be true for my experience, which is: i feel like a lot of people think about bisexuality as a.. perfect balanced proportion, for lack of a better term, like it means that you're attracted to men and women (or men and non-binary people, or women and non-binary people, etc.) in equal measure, but that's not true. you can be attracted to idk.. 9 men and 1 women, or 6 women and 2 men and 2 non-binary people, and you're still very much bisexual in all cases!!!!!!

and the thing is.. i think labels in this case are important when it comes to give you a sense of self and a sense of community, but they don't have to limit you. i also think it's completely normal to maybe feel scared and confused when reading about sexual orientations and romantic orientations and gender identities, because there are some people who just connect with a definition and know who they are right away, but there are also people who don't know if something actually applies to them or not and that's okay!!!!!!! you can take all the time you need to figure it out!!!!!!!!

and if you're not sure what to identify with, but you do know that you're not straight, then it's perfectly fine to identify as just that: not straight (i know some people are not comfortable with the term 'queer' but i personally like it because you can use it as an umbrella term with that meaning, however there's nothing wrong in simply using 'not straight')

so, um, yeah ;;;;;; again, idk if this can be helpful in any way, because figuring out about being bisexual to me was just a mix of.. liking someone and trying to be in a relationship with them and then realizing you can like both men and women and thinking 'oh that's me!!', but everyone's experience is different. i don't think i have any advice to give you, except maybe 'be open to possibilities and talk to more people to hear about as many point of view as possible', but also you were right to say that i care and if you need someone to talk to, im here for you

hope you'll find the answer you're looking for, anon, and please know im holding your hand through this journey!!!!!!

[martritzvonmercie]

HERE IS MY UP-TO-DATE P5R CHARACTER RANKING bc i think it will be funny if i post this now and then come back when i am later in the game and see that my opinions were severely bad and wrong. also i am doing phantom thieves only (but know shiho would be second if she were in the ranking)

(DISCLAIMER: you cannot get mad at me for my opinion on people who have not showed up yet okay. i have been avoiding spoilers and i know nothing about them so i just know what has happened IN THE GAME SO FAR. also very long post i went off about some people sorry about that)

1. ANN TAKAMAKI - MY GIRL OF ALL TIME. what can i say, i love myself a silly blonde girl. i think my favorite thing about ann is how she’s portrayed as both strong and emotional - she is consistently shown to be resilient, capable, and tough, but she also deals with her emotions in the same way that a teenage girl in her position would. it makes me happy to see that bc not a lot of characters get that right and i hate seeing emotional girls always being the pathetic ones. also i know she’s not canonically sapphic but she does feel very deliberately sapphic to me if that makes sense. having it be canon would be nice, but in a way, the fact that her and shiho have a very sapphic relationship without it being called that reflects what being young and confused about sexuality is like. it’s very common among teenage lesbians, and i know it probably wasn’t the devs’ intention to accurately portray sexuality confusion, but they did a good job of it on accident regardless. anyways i love and adore ann i am hugging her hugging her hugging her and pressing her lips to shiho's as if they're barbies

2. haru okumura - OKAY LOOK. LOOK. i know she hasn't shown up... i know she hasn't said anything besides that one time i saw her in the hallway and she talked about plants to a random teacher for 10 seconds... I KNOW BUT BUT SHE'S SO SKRUNKLY LOOK AT HER. she is so soft looking so silly looking i want to hug her so much. i am reserving this second place spot for her, if it turns out i don't like her as much as i thought then that's fine but nobody knows Girl Of All Time Vibes better than me and she has them

3. yusuke kitagawa - YUSUKE MY BEST FRIEND YUSUKE. I LOVE AND ADORE HIM SOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH... i honestly didn't expect to like yusuke when he first showed up but as soon as he spoke i was like. oh. Oh This Guy. LIKE HE'S SO SILLY he makes me giggle with how he's just so like. WEIRD. but i genuinely don't see how people find him creepy - the fact that he doesn't have any harmful intentions is very clear and he's just a guy who fumbles every social interaction he's ever in and i want to be his best friend for it I LOVE HIM.

4. ryuji sakamoto - I LOVE RYUJI HE'S SUCH A GUY TO ME i love him being best friends with ann and i love his stupid comments he is so funny fr

5. morgana - EVERYONE'S SO MEAN TO MY SILLY KITTY GUY... usually mascot characters like him are super annoying but i fuckin LOVE morgana he's so funny and adorable. i wanna cuddle him THE KITTY EVER

6. kasumi yoshizawa - she's really cute and sweet! the fact that i don't have anything besides that to say about her is why she isn't higher on the list lol

7. akira kurusu - he's a Guy. i like him as a protag, he has dialogue options that don't make me wanna rip my hair out and he had the emotional intelligence to comfort ann without making me want to be like "YOU'RE FUMBLING THIS FR SHUT UP STOP TALKING LET ME TALK TO HER" so i like him. however he's just a guy that exists to me

8. futaba sakura - she's cute! but being a woman in stem is like. every girl i know irl is Like That so she doesn't feel very blorbo to me when she's just An Average Girl In My Comp Sci Class, yk? i might be more interested in her when i actually come across her tho

9. goro akechi - i don't care about him at all i want what he has tho (knows sae niijima personally)

10. makoto niijima - SORRY SORRYSORRYSORRY SORRY. i know this is anti-feminist of me and considering she's so well-liked i am sure i will change my mind on this based on later stuff in the game. but MAN. her attitude is absolutely rancid in the pre-second palace scenes........ LIKE i'm not even mad at her for selling out the phantom thieves bc i get that she's been blackmailed but she said something to akira about how she "didn't know if ann being a victim of kamoshida was all there was to it" naming ANN SPECIFICALLY and not akira or ryuji and like. GIRL WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING THERE WHY ARE YOU SINGLING OUT ANN i do not like the implications there they're Yucky!!! you can do what you have to do without being nasty to ann and mean Okay Thanks.

[hitchell-mope]

January 11 2020-April 2 2024

That’s how long it took me to watch supergirl from start to finish. It probably would’ve been quicker. But they just HAD to keep Lex’s bastard sister around and keep writing off the men who did nothing wrong except exist in the same space as the hellers “lesbian queens”. Despite, you know, there being an ACTUAL lesbian couple in the final two seasons. Personally. I blame the Dracula show on NBC from 2013.

But I digress. Now we move onto the My Universe au. And to start. I have a poll for you.

I do not like the fact that Lena was a witch in the final season. It reeked of a blatant nostalgia grab. But at least in Merlin. Morgana died and lost. Lena’s going to die in this au as well. And there are other options for the witch in season six. Four to be exact.

Alex Danvers. Magic could help her with her Hand of the Soldier. Plus. Tumblr keeps going on about sapphic witches, which, honestly, I don’t really mind. And Alex is CANONICALLY a lesbian. So that would, I dunno, two birds one stone it as it were.

Lucy Lane. She stays around in this au. And I just think it’d be funny really.

Samantha Arias. My personal favourite She stays around in this au. Samantha was CREATED by a coven of Kryptonian witches. So it would work. Reign becomes Sovereign. And I have this Triassic Triumph sort of idea for the finale.

Ruby Arias. Samantha’s daughter. Half Kryptonian. The whole coming of age shebang thingy.Plus. It’d be a great source of angst for Samantha.

Now for the poll.

[eviltoxicmosssauce]

bbc merlin gender & sexuality hcs

Merlin is trans and gay af (we don't talk about the thing with freya). man's obviously slept with gwaine and lancelot (not to mention arthur lmao!)✨

Arthur is bi. very very bi. he met merlin and was like "oh shit, i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me!" (it did.) he spends so long gazing into merlin's eyes that he took one look at dragoon and went "wait a damn minute, you look like my sketchy wizard bf!"

Gwaine is a trans pan king who flirts with anything with eyes. no i don't know how he has a beard when transition medication hasn't been invented yet. probably sorcery. idk but mans def giving genderblind attraction energy.

Gwen is a bi queen obviously✨

Morgana is a sword lesbian. wdym she's evil? obviously she's still living in the castle with her wife (gwen) happily not killing people.

Mordred is an ace straight trans man. I will die on this hill.

Elyan is also trans and gay

Lancelot isn't bi... he's BI HIMSELF :,]

Leon is an aroace king <3 he is not bound by mortal attraction or matters of the flesh >:] he has risen above such trivial attachments

[notoriouslydevious]

Canon & Uncanon (Mainly Couples) Things In League of Legends

(Hetero): Xayah-Rakan Senna-Lucian Ashe-Tryndamere Exes:  Illaoi-GP *Viego-Isolde (like.. they WERE married but doesn’t she hate him for bringing her back to life? Like idk what their dynamic is. Divorced? Idfk) LGBTQ:  Vi-Caitlyn Leona-Diana Single Pringles:  Literally everyone else I didnt mention Single Fruity Pringles:  Rell (Bisexual) Neeko (Lesbian) Canon (Runeterra) Crushes:  Ezreal => Lux* (he also has a flirty lines with Xayah, “Well hello, Xayah. You should know I’m pro-Vastayan Rights.”  To Rakan, “So... Rakan, how serious are you and Xayah? Just asking.” Dont know if I’d consider that a crush though) Zoe => Ezreal Neeko => Nidalee, Shyvana, Xayah* (”Neeko might have a thing for birds.. and bird people) Ekko => Jinx (at least apparently he used to, “before she started talking to the gun”) Rumble => Tristana *Lux HAD a crush on Sylas... until he tried to kill Jarvan IV, Garen and then her for not joining his rebellion. (at least that’s how it reads to me) 

Canon Relationships in other Skin Universes:  Zed-Karma (Odyssey, they’re Exes) Ekko-Ezreal (Pulsefire)  Ezreal-Lux (Battle Academia) Yasuo-Riven (Dawnbringer/Nightbringer) Legends of Runeterra:  Garen-Katarina (have multiple interactions talking about secret rendezvous) Nami (Pansexual - Legends of Runeterra, writer confirms two of the cards are her boyfriend and girlfriend. Good for her ♥) Kalista-Ledros (lovers) Shyvana-Jarvan

Unsure/Unconfirmed/Scrapped Before Release/ No Longer Canon: Shaco (bi): scrapped, journal of justice Pantheon-Leona: (scrapped, got retconned after Pantheon rework)  Twisted Fate-Graves (scrapped before release: they were supposed to be in a relationship before release but Riot censored it to just “partners in crime.” Community mainly considers them canon anyway.) Twisted Fate-Evelynn (old journal of justice relationship) Janna-Summoner (journal of justice relationship and “summoners” arent a thing anymore) Taliyah being trans (another instance of scrapping before release, but they still have the line with Neeko saying to her, “Neeko isn’t the only one who changes” so like??? make up your minds, rito???) Taric ..  Riot’s never stated his sexuality (but a lot of people like to headcanon that he is Gay or Pansexual). Seems like the Taric subreddit just thinks of him as a chad who’s too beautiful for anyone (so Asexual?). Fiora: So.. some redditors look at Swain’s line after collecting her soul,  "She's spurned so many suitors. A wonder they did not see why." hinting that she’s either lesbian or aro.  Syndra-Zed (he’s in the backing animation of her withered rose skin, old ship that really doesnt get any love or attention)  Varus: has two gay lovers in him but I dont think the champion in game is gay. Popular Uncanon ships:  SG Lux & SG Jinx Aphelios-Sett  Taric-Ezreal (dont see this ship too much these days though) Zed-Shen Warwick-Soraka Soraka-Ezreal Nami-Nautilus (according to my bf this was a thing waaay back in the day) Kayn-Zed Evelynn-Akali Kai’sa-Seraphine Ahri-Kai’sa Literally everyone in kda with each other, just a biiiiiiiiiig orgy fest Seraphine-Rell Nami-Jhin Sona-Jhin Coven Evelynn - Coven Ahri Coven Evelynn - Coven Morgana Sona-Thresh Sona-Mordekaiser Ashe-Sejuani Kai’sa-Sivir (thank @/ichiro-artosaki) Quinn-Darius Akali-Shen (apparently they didnt have as big of an age gap before her rework, in old lore she was the fist of shadow instead of now her mom?) Ashe-Draven (you can thank @/ask-le-ali-di-demacia for both of these ships) Sona-Lee Sin Sona-Kayn (also @/ask-le-ali-di-demacia) Sona-Ezreal Sona-Jarvan (sona is the katara of league and she’s been shipped with literally everyone at this point) Janna-Yasuo Riven-Yasuo Odyssey Kayn-Odyssey Jinx Heartpuncher Vi-Heartpiercer Fiora Talon-Katarina (ooooold ship that no one draws anymore)  Kai’sa-Ezreal (literally only because of the Awaken Cinematic) Sylas-Lux Zoe-Kayn Ahri-Yasuo Ahri-Yone Lillia-Yone Zac-Riven (apparently when Zac was released a dude, nielspeterdejong on deviantart, commissioned a WHOOOOLE bunch of riven-zac fanart.) Sona-Kayn (kinda because of Odyssey, Kayn searching the galaxy to find her for some reason) Shadow Assassin Kayn-Shadow Evelynn Kayn-Akali (though she does flirt with him in the Zed comic) Ori-Blitz bc robots Veigar-Lulu (I think this ship is absolutely adorable)  Ahri-Sona (saw this a loooong time ago, think it was when they were both like the poster girls of league) Neeko-Nidalee Nidalee-Rengar Kalista-Thresh Irelia-Kayn Swain-Leblanc (someone mentioned that there’s hints in their lore that they’re screwing but idk)  Swain-Lux (knew one person that drew this and I liked their art... sadly havent seen them posting very often since they were outed for tracing)  Viktor-Jayce Gwen-Shaco (Apparently some people were shipping them when she first came out?) Gwen-Viego Viego-Akshan Xayah-Sett Elise-Zyra (ooooold ship, I thought they were cute) Akali-Irelia Talon-Quinn  (BASICALLY literally every champion gets shipped with another at some point)

Adding in this take from Queens of League reddit & AphroQiyana on Twitter:

Source: Queens of League

Neeko’s sexuality was confirmed EVERYWHERE, just not in the client (because countries like China & Russia; wlw & mlm relationships are banned) 

Source: literally just google neeko lgbtq

Source: AphroQiyana Riot says they’re going to put more LGBTQ STORIES out there (can’t make more lgbtq champs bc China) but uk, it is what it is. 

AT THE END OF THE DAY, SHIP WHAT YOU WANT TO SHIP!~ So what if it’s not canon? THAT’S ALL I GOTTA SAY. (also PLEASE LET ME KNOW ABOUT YOUR GUILTY PLEASURE SHIPS!!!)

[the-halfling-prince]

BBC Merlin Characters as Random Conversations I’ve heard, been a part of, or saw in a group chat pt. 3

Merlin: Pride 365? So are you not gay on leap day? Arthur: Remember kids, if you're "definitely straight" and wanna kiss your same gender best friend, do it on leap day.

Morgana: So you're telling me that we can kill flies and mosquitoes because they're annoying, but I can't kill Arthur for the same reason??? Smh

Merlin: No offense but vampires fucking suck Gwaine: yeah they do that sometimes

Merlin: Gwaine, stop, you're not helping. Gwaine: I'm not trying to help. I'm trying to be a nuisance. Arthur: You don't need to try.

Uther: He's a sorcerer! Burn him! Merlin: Why is everyone so mean to me??? all the time????

Arthur: Wait, if it's the lesbian flag, why does it have STRAIGHT lines, hmm? Morgana: oh my fucking god-

Merlin: Bonjour. Gwen: Oh did you take french? Merlin: No. Gwen: What foreign language did you take? Merlin: I took English for three years. Gwen: Merlin: Gwen: You took English - Merlin: SHIT I MEANT SPANISH SHUT UP.

Arthur: What's that? Merlin: Welsh. Arthur: What? Merlin: The language they speak in Wales. Welsh. Arthur: I'm sorry?????? Merlin: yeah, what did you think it was? Arthur: maybe a language PEOPLE spoke??? Merlin: … Arthur: Merlin: YOU DUMBASS -

Having a fake funeral for Merlin Morgana: And I'll receive your magic book, and Arthur gets your clothes - Arthur: I don't want his clothes. Morgana: Gwen can have the dragons. Gwen: I don't want his dragons. Morgana: Fine I get all his stuff. Moving on- Merlin, standing up: Ive just decided I'm immortal actually bye. Leaves room

Mordred: Did you know that some of my friends don't believe in the easter bunny. Mordred: Or Santa. Mordred: or god. Arthur, just trying to eat his breakfast: ..