#different companies!!

[writingfromasgard]

Me: time for sleep

My brain: Soap and König fighting over you

Me: what? That doesn't make sense.

My brain: Soap mentally calling König a tree trunk built cunt

[whetstonefires]

You know what I realize that people underestimate with Pride & Prejudice is the strategic importance of Jane.

Because like, I recently saw Charlotte and Elizabeth contrasted as the former being pragmatic and the latter holding out for a love match, because she's younger and prettier and thinks she can afford it, and that is very much not what's happening.

The Charlotte take is correct, but the Elizabeth is all wrong. Lizzie doesn't insist on a love match. That's serendipitous and rather unexpected. She wants, exactly as Mr. Bennet says, someone she can respect. Contempt won't do. Mr. Bennet puts it in weirdly sexist terms like he's trying to avoid acknowledging what he did to himself by marrying a self-absorbed idiot, but it's still true. That's what Elizabeth is shooting for: a marriage that won't make her unhappy.

She's grown up watching how miserable her parents make one another; she's not willing to sign up for a lifetime of being bitter and lonely in her own home.

I think she is very aware, in refusing Mr. Collins, that it's reasonably unlikely that anyone she actually respects is going to want her, with her few accomplishments and her lack of property. That she is turning down security and the chance keep the house she grew up in, and all she gets in return may be spinsterhood.

But, crucially, she has absolute faith in Jane.

The bit about teaching Jane's daughters to embroider badly? That's a joke, but it's also a serious potential life plan. Jane is the best creature in the world, and a beauty; there's no chance at all she won't get married to someone worthwhile.

(Bingley mucks this up by breaking Jane's heart, but her prospects remain reasonable if their mother would lay off!)

And if Elizabeth can't replicate that feat, then there's also no doubt in her mind that Jane will let her live in her house as a dependent as long as she likes, and never let it be made shameful or awful to be that impoverished spinster aunt. It will be okay never to be married at all, because she has her sister, whom she trusts absolutely to succeed and to protect her.

And if something eventually happens to Jane's family and they can't keep her anymore, she can throw herself upon the mercy of the Gardeners, who have money and like her very much, and are likewise good people. She has a support network--not a perfect or impregnable one, but it exists. It gives her realistic options.

Spinsterhood was a very dangerous choice; there are reasons you would go to considerable lengths not to risk it.

But Elizabeth has Jane, and her pride, and an understanding of what marrying someone who will make you miserable costs.

That's part of the thesis of the book, I would say! Recurring Austen thought. How important it is not to marry someone who will make you, specifically, unhappy.

She would rather be a dependent of people she likes and trusts than of someone she doesn't, even if the latter is formally considered more secure; she would rather live in a happy, reasonable household as an extra than be the mistress of her own home, but that home is full of Mr. Collins and her mother.

This is a calculation she's making consciously! She's not counting on a better marriage coming along. She just feels the most likely bad outcome from refusing Mr. Collins is still much better than the certain outcome of accepting him. Which is being stuck with Mr. Collins forever.

Elizabeth is also being pragmatic. Austen also endorses her choice, for the person she is and the concerns she has. She's just picking different trade-offs than Charlotte.

Elizabeth's flaw is not in her own priorities; she doesn't make a reckless choice and get lucky. But in being unable to accept that Charlotte's are different, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with Charlotte.

Because realistically, when your marriage is your whole family and career forever, and you only get to pick the ones that offer themselves to you, when you are legally bound to the status of dependent, you're always going to be making some trade-offs.

😂 Even the unrealistically ideal dream scenario of wealthy handsome clever ethical Mr. Darcy still asks you to undergo personal growth, accommodate someone else's communication style, and eat a little crow.

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

scream 7 fires their highly successful female lead who revitalized their franchise & made them millions of dollars all because of her pro palestinian stance but not a single word from netflix on their side characters in an ensemble cast who are literally saying shit like “zionism is sexy” and advocating for absolutely no ceasefire under any circumstances. this is a hell world.

[valtsv]

generally i agree with the sentiment of "if you don't like the canon version of a character then you just don't like the character" but when i take bland soulless unwilling to take any risks perfectly made up hair blow dried and styled airbrushed smooth character designs and make them less conventionally attractive and more weird and offputting in both personality and looks that's not me being a hater that's me doing them a favor

[bogkeep]

most of the norwegian trains are smooth sleek worms while many of the swedish trains are blocky clunky beasts...

[tblsomedoodles]

The Preferable Alternative- Prologue - Part 1

Start (you are here) - Previous (none) - Next

New au. I can't explain the main thought behind this without spoilers. And since i'm jumping straight into a multi-part comic, i won't be giving out any.

Basically vibes for this is that it's kinda creepy and maybe suspenseful with eventual hurt/comfort (if that doesn't make sense, im sorry, i have a hard time describing things). I'm also pretty mean to Donnie. Not "Donnie vs" mean, but unfortunately this idea wouldn't work with anyone else.

(for those that get anxious, like me. There is no main character death. (might not be death at all but we shall see. that depends on one character and even i'm not sure exactly what they'd do yet.) and no one's gets serious physical injuries. Definitely more hurt/comfort than plain angst. b/c that's how i roll. I can't do straight up angst.)

I'll write a proper summery once the prologue's done. I don't want to spoil it too much. For now, just know it's a PB&J duo story that happens during the 6 weeks before the Krang invasion.

[rolex-kaard]

so... any MORE freaks in the chat

[paranorahjones]

I'm rereading Lockwood & Co. and I just started The Screaming Staircase and. the thought of little 8-year-old Lucy Carlyle walking around in an agency uniform actually makes me so sick to my stomach.

[tricoufamily]

if you're wondering why bob is here it's bc in the original villareal story there was a very minor background detail that diego lobo and bob pancakes dated in college and broke up tragically and that's where the story peaked. so i included him it's still canon

thank you for these it was so fun!!!!!!!!!!!!

i did these in my this is the fall sim style so i'm thinking. if they exist in this universe what's all their opinions on the 'did jacques do it' situation. let's take a look

don: saw a photo of jacques's wife on the news during the investigation. said "whoa mama that's a hot babe!" like johnny bravo and did not read the headline. does not know anything about it still.

vlad: well he's psychic he could figure out the truth if he actually cared. and he has!

olive: obviously respects it. except for the getting investigated part, would never happen to her.

diego: does not think jacques did it but enjoys the tabloids. knows other rich people personally who he thinks have killed their spouses

morgyn: will post things like "friendly reminder that j*cques v*llareal literally killed his wife and is a billionaire so maybe don't go to one of their hotels" on tumblr and will then do a call out post about like a fanfic writer who wrote an unhealthy relationship with more severity

pascal: knows conspiracy theories and this one is bullshit. or maybe it just doesn't interest him as much as aliens and that's why he thinks that

jeb: has a very "well of course he did. them rich folk can do whatever they want. there ain't no hope for the rest of us" while kicking a can down the road approach

bob: thinks he did it. is very alarmed that it was brushed off. eliza's like bob book the hotel and he's like am i going crazy. does anyone hear me.

[art-is-kayos]

Subjecting all of you once again to an idea that was funnier in my head

[fnaf-at-freddys]

So.... Ishmael character adaptations, huh?

[beemovieerotica]

not commenting on that post about the AIDS retroviral injection directly but people here (again) don't totally understand the staggering cost of R&D for any medicine that successfully makes it to market, nor that there are government programs and programs run by the manufacturers themselves that will cover the cost of these drugs and ensure that the companies that produce them don't all go, you know, bankrupt

[elftwink]

to preface this post i am anti-advertising i think we should explode the entire industry but it's sooo funny when you people make posts like "and they don't even work!!" like. sorry to be the bearer of bad news but yes they do. that's why we have to put up with so many despite everyone hating them and thinking its annoying. because they actually work really well and make a shit load of money

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

I'd like to congratulate you on getting your CPR certification.

Now remember, when you’re going in for compressions, it should sound like somebody is standing behind you with the worlds largest Dorito and cracking it open!

Go in firm and hard and snap as many ribs as you can on the way down, that means you’re doing it right.

You save that life. Good luck.

Or... Or... Or kill them, I don’t fucking care.

Audio source

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Birthday! Free space if this gets in on time, but either way birthday wishes and thank you so much for all your writings. They're really good and such a bright spot in my day.

Carlton is having a good day up until he sees what’s clearly a civilian’s motorcycle parked in one of the reserved spots. If the state of disrepair didn’t make it obvious, the ACAB bumper sticker stuck on the back certainly did. Oh, he was going to give this asshole the biggest fine he could, and get his bike towed for good measure! The good people of the SBPD are working hard everyday to keep the streets safe and this guy wants to make a mockery of that right in front of them? What a sick bastard.

He stalks inside, face set into a scowl. “McNab!” he shouts, startling the officer who turns from whoever he’d been talking to. “Who the hell’s bike is that out front?”

He looks at him, wide eyed, but then a kid in a leather jacket is stepping out from behind him and clapping him on the shoulder. He’s got on faded jeans, brown boots, and a dark blue henley. He’s a couple days off from a decent shave and Carlton’s not at all surprised when he says, “It’s mine. Sweet ride, right?”

“You can’t park there,” he snaps. “I’m writing you a ticket – McNab, write him a ticket! Now!”

“Uh,” McNab looks between them uncertainly. “But he, you know, um. He can park there, Detective.”

Carlton snarls, “Why the hell do you think that?”

“It’s okay, Buzz,” the kid says, stepping forward and offering his hand to Carlton with a smirk that has him itching for his cuffs. “I’m Shawn Spencer.”

“I don’t care who you are,” he says. “Only police personnel can park in that area.”

Spencer’s grin gets a little wider. 

McNab is honest to god wringing his hands. “Um, Detective, he is. Police personnel, I mean. He’s the new head of Internal Affairs.”

Carlton stares. This has to be some sort of practical joke. “Are you even old enough to have gone through the academy?”

“My youthful appearance is due to my intense moisturizing routine, a zest for life, and my good humor,” he says. “Laughter really is the best medicine.”

“You’re out of dress code,” he says, because most of him is still refusing to believe that this is happening.

“I’ll write myself up for it later,” Spencer says, which is ridiculous, because that’s not an IA issue, it’s an HR one. Which as the head of Internal Affairs, he should know.

He opens his mouth, but whatever he was going to say is interrupted by Chief Vick swooping in, several files held in her hand. “Gentleman. Detective Spencer, my office, now.”

Spencer winks at them. “Buzz. Lassie.”

What the hell did Spencer just call him? Before he’s managed to choke back his outrage, Spencer’s in Chief Vick’s office and McNab is making a hasty retreat.

He stalks over to his desk and Lucinda glances up from her own desk at his approach. She’d left early this morning to go back to her place to shower and change and had been responsible for the good mood he’d been in up until he’d encountered Spencer and his stupid bike. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing,” he says, then, “Did you meet the new internal affairs guy?”

“Shawn? Yeah, he seems nice,” she says, already looking back down at her paperwork.

Nice? Nice?

The day’s just begun and it’s already shot to hell.