#dire fleet captain

[pellucid-constellations]

A Million Reasons - One

Pairing: College!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes, with all of his trust fund money and family connections, gets assigned community service. You, as someone that’s technically part of the community, now have to put up with him. Every day. And he won’t stop killing your plants.

Warnings: Bucky is the captain of this annoyance to lovers ship

Word Count: 3.7k

a/n: New series!! I’m super excited about this one :) Let me know what you think because I adore feedback ♡ 

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

~~

The greenhouse was always a touch too warm for your taste. Something about the fixed humidity made your shirt stick to your skin, even as the weather beyond the walls raged with a frigid chill. It made it difficult to appreciate the changing seasons when you found yourself inside with the plants more often than not. 

But it was hard to complain. If being sweaty meant you got to complete your senior research project at an ivy league, you would put up with the hassle. 

God, your senior research project. Your excitement was almost palpable each time you thought about the word. Every late night you had spent pouring over books—and every early morning you had spent examining plants instead of sleeping—was all going to be worth it. 

A degree from Yale would open so many doors you never thought available to you. Graduate schools, research labs, publications; a world of academia, all within your grasp. You just had to finish this last year of undergrad and get through your project. Eight months at most. 

You made your way to your notebook across the greenhouse, ducking beneath greenery and sidestepping planters as you went. There were about one too many broken watering cans in this specific house, along with more cobwebs than you could count, but you were grateful for any space at all. Being on a scholarship meant you expected less, even when your professors profusely argued against such a notion. 

The stool groaned as you took your place at the rickety table, pushing yourself in until it was more comfortable to write your notes. Your pencil was in dire need of a sharpening, and you almost wished you had brought your computer instead of the paper that was wilting in the sticky air of the greenhouse. Unfortunately, that was never an option; Professor Potts had made it abundantly clear that field notes were to be handwritten. 

A gentle spray started up in the corner of the room, water raining down on the plants as you placed the end of the pencil between your teeth. There wasn’t too much information for you to graph just yet; the project had just been approved a few weeks ago, and your plants were still sprouting up. Still, you took careful notice of each little change, not wanting to waste any of the resources you had been allotted. 

“So, uh,” a voice drawled, an awkward inflection in its tone. “You just want me to stand here, or…?” 

You raised your eyes from your notebook to instead glare at the wall your table was pushed up against, your peace interrupted for the second time today. Your jaw clicked as you fought to keep it relaxed, a battle you were surely going to lose as the morning progressed. 

“‘Cause I can’t really leave unless you give me something to do out there. Rules of community service and all. They have people making sure I spend my hours in here.” 

You sighed, finally looking over your shoulder at the man leaning against a table he shouldn’t be. “You can stay over there,” you concluded. “Just don’t… touch anything.” 

“Right,” he agreed, crossing his arms and kicking away from the table. 

His pressed shirt didn’t exactly fit in with the nature of the greenhouse, and it was certainly a contrast to your loose hoodie with the college emblem stamped on the front. You took note of his blinding white collar and decided that if he walked out of here without any dirt on it, he would be a lucky guy. That thought was fleeting; you had turned back to your notebook almost as soon as he settled against a wall. 

You were about halfway into your diagram when the man in the dress shirt spoke again. “It’s hot in here.” 

“It’s a greenhouse,” you deadpanned. 

“Greenhouses have a reputation for being hot?” 

You tapped your pencil against stiff paper, still not turning as you hummed and simply replied, “Typically.” 

The man mumbled something incoherent in response, apparently deciding that walking around the rows of plants was a better way to spend his time. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, biting the inside of your cheek when he rubbed a leaf between his fingers. It wasn’t your plant, technically, so no harm done—for now. You couldn’t say the same for his shoes; the shiny leather had surely been scuffed from the amount of times he had ran into old wood. 

You were still cursing Pepper Potts for agreeing to whatever this was. She had approached you with so much hesitancy the other day, an apology already on her lips that you assured her wasn’t necessary. But you were second guessing that as time went on… maybe you did deserve an apology when James Barnes was the one being forced upon you. 

Your professor had left out that small detail. 

To be fair, the detail had very little impact on your life. You had never met the guy before today, and it wasn’t as if he had done anything to you personally. But he was very clearly a Barnes, a name that was also displayed on the main campus library and probably stamped on quite a few “donated” collections. 

It would’ve been nice to know that it was a Yale legacy student serving community service in your greenhouse—not just some random guy with a penchant for misdemeanors. 

“Which plants are you in charge of?” he asked, running his hand under the gentle spray of water still going strong in the corner.

You furrowed your brows. “This isn’t some community garden. I’m not taking care of these plants, I’m studying them.” 

He made a slow approach to your table, stuffing his hands in expensive pockets. “Okay. Which plants are you in charge of studying?” 

“Why? Are you planning on defacing them?”

He scoffed, knocking his head back as if your statement was completely uncalled for. It wasn’t, of course. You had seen the proof of that yourself, the large, egregious pictures spray painted along the bricks of the Marsh Botanical Garden still only partially scrubbed off by the janitor. 

“Come on,” James argued. “That was funny. And you don’t even know why I did it.” 

You met his cocky smile with an uninterested expression. “I don’t think motive is going to help me find beauty in the dick you drew over the daisies.” 

“I get your favorite flowers or something? My bad, I’ll make it up to you,” he winked. 

“No need.” 

“Hey, I can buy you some daisies. I’m good for it.” 

You huffed, trying to decide whether or not that was a joke. Of course he was good for a few daisies—he probably had the means to sell out an entire flower shop, pre-made wedding centerpieces and all. And that would barely make a dent in his bank account. 

You pushed away from the desk instead of answering him, heading for the small shed by the entrance of the greenhouse. You yanked the doors open with a loud creak, procured another worn stool from the inside, and then set the seat in a corner very far from your desk. The slap you forced down on the stool’s surface echoed. 

“For you,” you explained, jutting your hand out in its direction. “Go on your phone or something.” 

He raised a brow at you, a small puff of laughter escaping him. He meandered to your designated location at an unhurried pace and nodded when you offered him a sardonic smile.  With a purposeful tug at the material of his pants, he took a seat, and you were back at your desk feeling more satisfied. 

Professor Potts had instructed you to put him to work the second he arrived. Sweeping, tossing old materials, dragging in soil; Barnes was supposed to be a garden hand to atone for his campus crimes, but in all honesty, you preferred him sitting in the corner on his phone. 

You figured he would prefer that as well, but the guy wouldn’t stop talking. 

“So you gonna tell me your name, Ms. Daisy?” he asked, after only a few minutes of blessed silence. “I have to be here every weekday for quite a while. Might be nice to know who you are.” He paused. When your silence persisted, he followed up with, “Unless you like daisy. ‘Could just call you that.” 

“It’s y/n,” you corrected. 

You could hear the smile in his words as he responded. “Okay, y/n. I’m—” 

“I know who you are. They gave me the rundown when they explained your community service,” you lied. He didn’t need to know that you had actually been blindsided when he walked in this morning. 

“Enlighten me then.” 

You almost choked on the confidence in his tone. “Is this some kind of power trip? You like to hear the sound of your own name, James?” 

His brows shot up in response, leaning his chest over his knees as he smirked at you from across the room. “Not sure why you’d assume I want a power trip.” 

If you could glower any harder, you would. Was it really so much to ask for a peaceful last year of college? Did the universe have to chose you to entertain the millionaire with a criminal streak when all you really wanted was to graduate? James started bouncing his knee, making the floor groan as he stared back at you, and you concluded that yes—the universe did in fact chose you for this fate. 

“Maybe because it’s eleven a.m. on a Tuesday and you look dressed for prom?” you shot back. 

He laughed. Throwing his head back with his shoulders shaking, he laughed and you were left confused because you were positive that you had just insulted him. Then again, you weren’t really sure what was considered an insult to someone with an endless stream of money. Maybe he wanted to look like he was going to prom. 

“You’re pretty funny, you know that?” he chuckled, the whispers of humor still fresh in his voice. 

“Thanks,” you accepted, a monotone grumble. 

You slid your phone from your pocket, praying that your allotted time with James was over and not attempting to be subtle about it. Luckily, the clock confirmed that he was actually set to leave three minutes ago, a small swell of joy rising in your chest. 

You shook your phone up by your face. “Eleven thirty-three,” you called. “You’re free to go.” 

Your happiness was not well met. James paused and gave you an uncharacteristically—from what you could discern in the few hours you’d know him—dubious look, standing from his seat and pulling a folded up piece of paper from his back pocket. He took a deep breath in before laying it flat on your table and letting his fingers linger. The mint from the gum he hadn’t stopped chewing fanned past you and hit unfinished plywood. 

“I know I didn’t really do anything,” he began. “But you gotta sign off on my time here—so I can take it back to the board and all.” 

“Okay,” you simply agreed, turning your pencil to the new sheet.

“You really aren’t gonna make me clean this place up?” His head titled down to catch the gaze you weren’t offering

“You’re free to clean up if you feel so inclined, but really, staying out of my way will get this paper signed.” 

“And you don’t… want anything from me?” 

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye before refolding the paper and placing it in his unexpecting hand. His expression was cautious, maybe even a bit untrusting with the way his mouth was twisted into a small frown. You knew what he was implying, but you weren’t going to acknowledge the elephant in the room if you could help it. 

The spray in the back of the house stopped. James shifted and the floor groaned. 

“Like what? A pocket square?”

James shook his head, face relaxing, and placed his palm on your table to bend down and loom over your seated posture, requesting a quick, “Hey, call me Bucky, yeah? James is my father.” 

“Whatever,” you called, waving him off before you could process the gentle heat of him on your back. 

Bucky’s chuckle lasted well past his exit, the sound only ceasing as he complained, “This door is broken.” 

You rolled your eyes, not turning to confirm when the heavy wood slammed behind him. 

~~

“I was thinking it had something to do with the soil, but when I brought that up to Professor Stark he told me to shut up.” 

“Peter, I don’t know why you even try with him. I keep telling you to go to the TA first.” 

Peter sighed, dejectedly picking at the salad wilting in its plastic container. He had been fighting with it after about the second bite, turning the leaves over as he complained about his final project. 

“It’s not fair that you got his wife as an advisor,” Peter accused, a finger pointed at you as you ate your own lunch. “She gets the job done and she thinks you’re amazing. Dr. Stark just thinks I’m an idiot on legs.” 

“Hey, come on!” you argued. “If he thought you were an idiot on legs he wouldn’t have accepted your proposal in the first place. And he gave you the best greenhouse on campus. Dr. Potts is nice, but I’m still stuck out there with all the spiders.” 

Peter huffed out a laugh, the sound lost in the noise of the dining hall. You were immune to the disruptions at this point; three years of lunches with Peter Parker and you were more than capable of picking his voice out in a crowd, dining hall or otherwise. 

The first time you had done so was in a packed lecture hall freshman year. The poor guy didn’t have a pencil in one of Stark’s lectures and he had asked just about everyone in his row. You saved him from the fearful task of asking the professor himself, tapping on his shoulder and, apparently, also becoming friends. 

It was luck that you happened to be in the same department as well. 

“That reminds me,” Peter said over a mouthful of croutons. “How’d your thing go with the criminal. Did he get those spiders out?” 

You laughed, setting down the coffee you had grabbed on the walk over. “He’s not a criminal, Pete. I told you it was just vandalism.” 

“Vandalism is a crime,” he pointed out, gesturing with his fork. 

“Okay, well it’s not a hard crime. I think labeling him as a criminal might be a bit premature. Not that a permanent record would have any real effect on his life, honestly.” 

“What d’you mean?” 

You gave Peter a blank look, urging him to swallow his food before you continued. There definitely wasn’t a lack of comfort between the two of you, if the mouthful of lettuce accompanying his words gave anything away. He offered you a sheepish grin and reached for his water, motioning for you to explain yourself. 

“I mean that the criminal is James Barnes. You know, like Barnes and Rogers’ Library? I seriously doubt a label like that would hurt his life prospects.” 

Peter choked on his water and you found yourself wishing he was still talking with his mouth full instead. You reached for the napkins on his tray, shoving them in his direction as he fought for air. He looked like a fish out of water and all you could do was cringe as the table next to you grimaced in disgust. It wasn’t until he recapped the bottle that you spoke again. 

“Are you going to live?” 

Peter hit his chest a few times before nodding with vigor. “Fine, yeah,” he squeaked out. “Are you sure it was him?” 

You threw him a look. “Do you think I’m an idiot on legs or something?” 

“No! No, of course not. Just, wow, a Barnes doing community service. Wouldn’t really expect that.” 

You hadn’t either. With the reputation that came with his name, you were surprised that his family hadn’t just made the problem go away with another big “donation” toward the library. Or the science department. Or just about any place that would have gotten him out of trouble.

You had seen it happen before. Last year, all the trees and bushes in front of the literature building were covered in paint and toilet paper during finals week. It was cleaned up rather quickly, and then—like clockwork—the Yale Newspaper reported a very sizable donation made toward the college’s book collection. An anonymous donation. 

Very discrete. 

Your shrugged at your friend, rolling your straw between the pieces of ice in your cup. “Maybe he was feeling generous.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Peter scoffed. “Look, I think you should stay away from him, y/n. I’ve heard… things and stuff.” 

“Things and stuff? Wow, Peter, why didn’t you tell me sooner? I’ll make sure to bring pepper spray next time I see him.” Peter clicked his tongue and gave you an exasperated look, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. You sighed, “Okay, okay. Sorry. Please, explain.” 

“It’s just—you know who he is. I don’t think you should try to be buddies with this guy or anything. Seems to make a lot of trouble at a school he didn’t really get into on his own merit. And I'm pretty sure he’s like engaged or something? Maybe, I don’t remember all of what Ned said...” 

For some strange, unknown reason—completely unfathomable—a tiny part of you deflated as Peter continued his rant. It certainly wasn’t because of the engagement; that would be certifiably insane. 

Bucky was entitled and probably only in college because his family made him go. He probably spent his days in some fancy apartment down the road and only came to campus when he felt like spray painting over the ecology department. He most likely had stupid handkerchiefs in his pockets and got his pants dry cleaned and said said things like oh, I’m going to have a nice game of golf this morning. 

He didn’t have the passion you did, and he certainly didn’t have the drive. It didn’t matter that he smelled like a fresh bonfire and the woods when you went camping in the winter. His stupid fluffy hair didn’t make up for his lack of common sense and his glinting blue eyes definitely didn’t make you want to blink up at him and fall into his words each time he spoke. 

His smile was just… average; it didn’t make your heart skip a beat at all, even when he called you daisy and came up behind you to make you sign that stupid paper. 

Maybe you were just feeling a bit morose because Peter was lecturing you again. Yes—that was it. “Peter! Peter, hey, I get it,” you cut him off, not even sure which part of his argument he had dove into as you let your mind wander. “It’s not like I’m hanging out with the guy on purpose. I’m not even making him clean anything. He just sits on his phone for a few hours and then he leaves, alright?” 

But Peter looked disgruntled at that prospect as well. “I think you should have him doing something, y/n. He’s supposed to be in trouble.” 

“Do you have a vendetta against this guy or something?” 

Peter blanched, clearing his throat and uttering out a few too many arguments for it to be believable. Your best friend was many things, but a good liar was not one of them. You arched a brow in his direction, trying to pull the truth from him, but Peter just kept babbling on about nonsense. Which was fine, you supposed; he could have secrets and so could you. 

Your secrets just involved maybe finding Bucky Barnes attractive. Maybe. On a physical level only.

You checked your phone when Peter pretending to drink his water, the only interesting notification being a message from your roommate asking you to bring pizza home for dinner. Which probably meant Natasha was coming over as well. That would be the perfect opportunity to tell both Wanda and Natasha about your new greenhouse development, and you wouldn’t even have to use the groupchat. 

You sent her a quick confirmation text and heaved yourself up from the table, Peter following closely behind. 

“You wanna come over for pizza tonight? You can tell the girls how much you hate Bucky Barnes,” you offered, tossing your empty cup in the garbage. 

“What’d you call him?” Peter asked, tightening the straps of his backpack and scrunching his face up in confusion. 

You mentally cursed, forcing out a fake laugh and linking your arm with Peter’s. The air past the dining hall doors was a brisk sunniness, a hint of summer still lingering in the fall air. You breathed in the faint aroma of the grass in the courtyard and the hint of pine from the tree that hung over the benches on the far side of campus, but Peter was unimpressed with your minuscule attempt at a diversion. He craned his neck to block your view of the yard, raising his brow in expectation. 

You nudged him. “Nothing, Pete. You wanna come or what? Better tell me now or I’m not going to know to pick up your favorite.” 

“Okay, yes,” he groaned, pulling you toward your next class. “But if you think we’re not gonna talk about this tonight, you’re wrong. I’m going to have a very serious discussion with Wanda and Natasha.” 

“Okay, Mr. Serious,” you rolled your eyes. 

Peter got wine drunk that night, which meant there was, in fact, no serious discussion. 

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: The Hammer and the Anvil ( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord )    

“Retreat!?”

Several of the bridge crew turned at the admiral’s raised voice before a look for their captain had them return to their duties. With the enemy fleet now fully assembled before the Coalition Armada there was more than enough work for each of them to attend to.

Troy Brakus was a seasoned captain serving the Terran navy for thirteen years with the last five aboard his own vessel the “Unruly Yeoman”. She had fought everything from opportunistic space pirates to despotic warlords carving out their own tiny petty kingdoms amongst the stars. There wasn’t a vibration or groan that her ship made that he did not recognize nor crew member he did not know. This ship was his home and at the moment it looked very much like it was about to be blown to pieces.

Having been a member of the Galactic Coalition of Star Systems, the Terran navy had been dragged into the recent conflict with the Genven Imperium. This outcome had hardly been a surprise to anyone as the Genven had been launching an increasing number of raids along the border for the last year until finally the Coalition had had enough and made an official proclamation of war to halt the incursions.

What they had not counted on was that Coalition intelligence had been drastically underestimating the Genven’s naval strength. So when the Coalition united fleet entered Genven territory they were met by an enemy war fleet three times their size. A notion the supreme admiral of the fleet had certainly noticed as they were now issuing a fleet wide retreat order.

“We are outnumbered 3:1 Admiral Kelly,” the supreme admiral said over a communication link, “if we stay here we will lose the entire fleet.”

“And if we retreat we deal a crippling blow to the Coalition’s morale and hand the Genven’s the initiative!” Admiral Kelly countered.

Admiral Kelly Winfeld was the overall leader of the Terran contingent of the Coalition navy which had allocated fifteen warships and twenty seven cruiser and smaller class vessels to the coalition fleet. No other commander outside of the supreme commander could issue orders to the Terran navy, and even then it had been an unofficial understanding that said orders would only be listened to if they had Admiral Kelly’s blessing. Which was making the current disagreement all the more dire.

“Numbers does not always guarantee victory,” Kelly continued, “we can still win this battle if we use our heads and out maneuv-“

“You have your orders Admiral Kelly!” the supreme admiral cut in forcefully. “If you are unable to comply you shall be stripped of your rank and-“

The transmission suddenly was cut off and the hologram of the supreme admiral faded away instantly. Captain Brakus took his hand off his command console and looked up at the Admiral.

“Your orders, ma’am?”

Standing up straight and adjusting her uniform, Admiral Kelly turned around to Brakus and grinned.

“All ships line up behind the Unruly Yeoman and divert all power to forward shields and engines.” She pointed at the heart of the Genven fleet which was now spreading out in a large crane formation in the hopes of surrounding the Coalition fleet before it could withdraw.

Captain Brakus relayed the orders to his crew as the power diversion to shields began. The lights flickered as each station called out that the power had been successfully diverted and shields now were at 300%. Taking a look at the tactical display he could see that while the rest of the coalition fleet began pulling away the Terran contingents were following the Admiral’s orders and forming up behind the Unruly Yeoman.

The last ship had entered the formation just as the first volley of enemy plasma lances impacted the fleet. A number of coalition ships were struck in the rear and suffered critical engine failures or outright exploded.

“Engines to full,” Admiral Kelly shouted as the shields endured another barrage, “make for the center of their fleet!”

“All ahead full.” Captain Brakus relayed and the Unruly Yeoman slowly pressed forward at the head of the Terran navy.

“We have a communication incoming from the supreme admiral.” The communication officer shouted across the bridge as another salvo struck the shields sending a shudder through the ship.

“Ignore it.” Admiral Kelly said as the Terran line continued pressing forward.

The amount of incoming fire was steadily increasing as the Genven ships began to find their mark. Each impact sending increasingly violent shudders. At the front of the column were all of the heavier ships were in the front soaking up the majority of the damage while the smaller escort vessels clung tightly behind them for protection.

“Do we have an actual plan?” captain Brakus inquired as the fleet pressed ever closer to the center of the Genven formation. “I’d rather not end up like the light brigade.”

“We needn’t worry about that unfortunate debacle.”

She pointed to the tactical chart. Coalition forces were making all speed towards the edge of the system while the Genven fleet was still in hot pursuit.

“Now that we’re between their wings they can’t fire on us since any deflected or missed shots will hit their own forces.”

Brakus nodded as he realized why the admiral had ordered power to the shields and engines. “So only the center formation can still attack us freely.”

He looked up from the display to see the center of the Genven fleet steadily becoming larger in the view screen as was the looming dreadnought that housed their command staff. It was the easiest to spot as it was twice as big as any of the surrounding vessels and dotted with nearly three times as many gun ports.

“So are we going to eliminate their command?”

To his surprise the admiral shook her head. “Even if we did wipe out the center the two wings would still be enough to wipe out the rest of the coalition before turning around and snatching us.”

She tapped the tactical display as if counting down to some event only she knew. “We need to destroy their formation in a way that causes enough chaos to break their momentum and give our own forces enough time to counterattack.”

“Captain.” One of the deck officers interrupted. Brakus turned to see the officer motioning to the proximity warnings now displaying as the Genven ships were rapidly approaching.

Brakus nodded to the officer and turned back to the Admiral.

“If you have a plan, now would be the time.”

Without missing a beat Admiral Kelly finally stopped tapping the tactical display and shouted “All ships hard to port!”

As one the entire line of terran ships broke off what many appeared to be a suicidal charge and steered headlong into the right wing of the enemy fleet that was still chasing after the Coalition.

“Divert power from shields to forward batteries; fire when ready!”

Brakus could hear the thrumming of the energy planets as they once more diverted power across the ship on a whim and watched as the first plasma lances from the forward cannons lashed out.

The Genven right wing had been so focused on catching the retreating Coalition forces that the sudden attack from the Terran navy blindsided them. They had expected the humans to smash themselves against the center of their lines but now faced massed fire from dangerously close quarters. A few of the ships attempted to divert power back to their shields but at such short distances the plasma lances were already carving through their hulls.

Like a hot knife carving through butter the Terran navy decimated the right wing, separating the forces almost in two as the forward elements aborted their forward charge and the rear elements found themselves crashing into the burnt remains of the destroyed ships the Terran’s left in their wake.

Several of the bridge crew let out a hearty cheer as the gun batteries across all decks adding nicely to their ever growing kill count until finally they broke through the line entirely. Brakus was about to ask for next orders but the admiral beat him to it.

“All ships hard to starboard now, come up behind the center; target engines and rear emplacements first then work your way down through critical systems.”

Brakus relayed the orders to his crew as the Terran navy came about once more and poised themselves to strike at the rear of the center Genven fleet.

Already their attack was causing the desire chaos the admiral had wanted as the left wing of the Genven fleet was breaking off their pursuit of the retreating Coalition forces to come turn and face the Terran forces. The center was likewise positioning themselves to track the Terran fleet but finding their progress slowed by how packed together they were.

“Coalition forces are turning around Captain.” The scanning officer called out followed swiftly by the communications officer.

“The Supreme Admiral is hailing us again and is demanding to speak to you admiral.”

“Tell him to take a number,” she said with a smile as the opening salvos against the center fleet started, “I’ve got a battle to win.”

[spacetimesally]

With Malignant forces quickly approaching earth, Sally's given little time to prepare a fleet to defend the onslaught, but just enough time to suit up and go it alone, in "To Bide Thee Time"

Other Timelines, Other Lifetimes Series…

Other Timelines, Other Lifetimes Series - The Astounding Wonders of Spacetime Sally, envisioned as a 1920s/30s pulp era sci-fi serial, this timeline/lifetime would see Captain Sally Hannigan as the number one ace pilot of Metropolitan Star Command defending and protecting earth’s capitol city, New St. Vivian, a sprawling metropolis and home to earth’s first spaceport.

...

I gave the above storyline blurb to ChatGPT-4 to turn into an old-timey sci-fi radio serial. Here is what it came up with:

Attention, esteemed listeners, gather 'round your radio sets, for we bring you a tale of cosmic valor and daring escapades! In this week's electrifying episode of 'Spacetime Sally,' our intrepid heroine faces a dire predicament! With malevolent forces from the far reaches of the cosmos hurtling towards our beloved Earth, the sands of time dwindle perilously low.

But fear not, for Sally, our gallant champion of the spacelanes, is braced for the challenge! Granted but a sliver of moments to marshal her forces, she finds them scant against the impending menace. Ah, but behold! With the indomitable spirit of a true spacefarer, Sally resolves to don her celestial garb and confront the adversary single-handedly!

Join us, dear listeners, in 'To Bide Thee Time,' where bravery and wit clash against the shadow of interstellar tyranny! Will our dauntless Sally fend off the invaders and secure peace for our terrestrial sphere? Tune in, immerse yourselves in the adventure, and ride the ether waves alongside 'Spacetime Sally,' the beacon of hope in our universe's darkest hours!

[girlbossblackbeard]

s2 ep3 delirious ramblings in honor of eps 4 and 5 coming soon!!

you already KNOW wtf goin on !!!

-the red flag fleet pig tails absolutely slay every single time

-Zheng Yi Sao putting her arm out to shield Olu from the dying guy that just got stabbed has me feeling some typa way (falling in love with her)

-stede just pushing his little bar and charcuterie cart around im obsessed

-Zheng Yi Sao's customer service voice when she says "Hi! I'm Zheng Yi Sao, you're...John?" like she's cold-calling someone is absolutely top tier, I would give her all my money if she were calling to scam me

-"champers?" stede you absolute doofus i love him far too much

-Zheng Yi Sao being all coy with her "ohh...forget it...;)" stop!!!!! im already in love with you please stop this madness!!!!!! i can't take much more of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-OLU'S OFFENDED FACE WHEN STEDE JUST PLOPS THE TOWELS DOWN ON ZHENG YI SAO'S DESK LMAO

-okay. we have to talk about stede hearing "the revenge" and his mind going completely blank aside from the one thought of "Ed" replaying over and over and over again to the point that all sense of self-preservation flies completely out the window (as he flies over the side of the ship) because the ONLY thing that matters to him in that moment is seeing Ed again. i can only imagine the looming sense of doom he must've felt as he realized Ed was noticeably absent from the rest of the crew when he found them, and then the cagey way they all spoke about where Ed went. i wonder if seeing Ed's body lying on that table gave him any sense of relief in the way that getting confirmation of something you'd feared was coming finally arrives

-also!!! let's talk about what must have started running through Olu's mind when he realized it was their ship!! did he immediately think of Jim? was he worried about them? did he assume they would've escaped blackbeard's clutches by now and gone on to bigger and better things?

-"she's returned to us...mostly" i wonder how sad buttons must have felt seeing the revenge in such a dire state :((

-"maybe she's gone through that triangle thing by bermuda" wee john my beloved

-I TOLD Y'ALL WHEN THAT MF GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 HITS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IT VERY NEARLY WAS BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-oh holy fuck the way the look of excitement on stede's face morphs into a look of horror as he takes in just how wrecked the revenge got in the storm is extremely upsetting

-someone smarter than me needs to do a deeper analysis on the use of gnossienne no.5 as stede is climbing the ladder of the revenge, no doubt with thoughts of a beautiful and loving reunion with ed because surely he'll be there waiting for him, just as overjoyed to see stede as stede is to see him, only for the song and that fantasy to abruptly get cut off once stede realizes how dire the situation on the revenge has gotten

-hey fam do we think there's any significance of the crew being found desecrating that seagull in the captain's quarters or was that just a plot convenience thing bc obviously stede would check the captain's cabin for ed first

-"just thought you'd be taller...mu-muscly, you know...charismatic" bruh ain't NO way Certain People had been either 1) talking about stede in such a high regard it put him up on a massive pedestal or 2) ahem....sobbing so loudly the entire god damn ship can hear it every single night for literal months...that archie fully thought stede MUST have been basically a god amongst mortals to make ed be so downbad it drove him to violent insanity

-"why can't i get a straight answer from any of you" because they're all gay bitch!!!!! you knew this when you first hired them!!!!!!

-OBSESSED with how Izzy is fully down an entire leg and Stede could NOT give less of a shit about it. Literally telling him "Piss off Izzy, I don't wanna hear from you" as if there isn't the biggest possible elephant on the deck basically screaming to be talked about

-side note: for the love of GOD con o'neill looks so stupidly hot in his reaction shot to stede telling izzy to piss off it's actually gonna give me heart palpitations. this is my formal petition to make con o'neill look permanently just a little bit damp and a little bit sad

-"when you get old, if you don't wanna work anymore you can just give up i guess" frenchie my beloved

-love love love love love the parallels between buttons and auntie being the actual paragon of first mates with almost preternatural senses for mutiny a'brewin or the sea shifting

-hey fam do we think izzy actually stabbed stede's painting or was it really ed and izzy was...sparing stede's feelings???? but why??? is it because he's intimately aware of how it feels to lose ed and even though he hates stede (or used to) he still wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone??

-SORRY I GOTTA TOOT MY OWN HORN FOR A SECOND BECAUSE I CALLED IT FROM THE MOMENT THE TEASER DROPPED THAT THE RAG MAN WAS GONNA BE HORNIGOLD'S GHOST MANIFESTING AS THE PARTS OF ED HE HATED THE MOST

>>>it turned out to be all parts of himself which did me quite a big ouchie but im still riding the high of having sussed that out so early on im LITERALLY destined to be a writer on this show. djenks get at me i know ur reading this

-i have absolutely no idea what the pig is supposed to symbolize in ed's fever dream someone who has a functioning brain should figure it out and let me know pls & thx

-don't know if this is significant symbolism or not, but: ed is wearing the cravat, his chains, and the pearl necklace in the storm. he is NOT wearing the cravat or the chains in the fever dream, but he IS still wearing the pearls. the best analysis i can do around that rn is that the cravat symbolizes stede and this journey he's about to go on needs to be about Ed and Ed alone, but also Ed *feeling* and *thinking* he's genuinely alone, which is supported by the conversation he has with hornigold later when he reveals he's worried there's no one waiting for him in the real world. the chains im thinking could symbolize his blackbeard persona in a way - presumably he got the gold chains when plundering and gaining/maintaining his reputation for being ruthless and the chains are a physical reminder of that persona and reputation. in the fever dream, ed is stripped down to his most vulnerable state (which is interesting considering his hair and beard aren't in line with the s1 symbolism of his vulnerability - almost as if his heartbreak over stede has become so all-encompassing he's no longer able to hide it behind a beard or face-shielding long hair) so the chains would disappear just as his blackbeard reputation would disappear in order for him to get to the core of who he really is, which brings us to: the pearl necklace. we could literally talk for hours about the nuances of everything the pearl necklace represents regarding ed's fears, desires, identities, hopes and dreams for the future, childhood trauma, etc. etc. etc. but ultimately it represents the parts of ed he holds the closest to his chest and THAT is why he's still wearing it in the fever dream: because it's a representation of who he truly is, stripped down, at his core. and THAT is the person who needed to go on this journey in order to start to heal, without the influence of anyone or anything else making him feel the need to perform or be anything other than his 100% authentic, vulnerable self.

-the way i reacted to seeing how beautiful ed is as he's waking up in hornigold's hut is undeniable proof that i need to be put down

-"what did you do to me...while i was out...anything weird?" edward teach my beloved of all time. we will not be taking this incredibly funny and perfectly performed line delivery and making it sad by thinking about the implications of what past behaviors ed may have experienced from other shipmates when waking up after a night of blacking out

-sorry but the way ed holds his breath so he doesn't eat the soup is so hilarious and adorable to me

-auntie recounting all the details of the mutiny right down to ed's height and silver hair based off of looking at the deck and licking some gun powder is sooooooo sherlock holmes coded but like. if he fucked y'know?

-also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the little sprinkle of what i believe was maori thrown in between auntie and fang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need more of that IMMEDIATELY

-"i'm burnin up here" SICK jobros reference frenchie

-frenchie stopping himself from saying "oh fuck" and instead going with "oh shit tits" i love this man an unhealthy amount

-"it's called you-cal-lip-eh-tusses. you-calamitous." good god i would due for olu in a heartbeat

-okay so. my thoughts on the olu/zheng/jim/archie situation. i never posted this here when the trailer dropped bc i thought i was just going crazy but when i saw the olu/jim shoulder bump i immediately knew it was giving "exes who are still friends and are being supportive of the other person when they admit they've found someone new" vibes. THAT BEING SAID - i can see this whole thing being resolved in 2 ways: either they have jim and olu talk it out and officially decide to split to pursue their respective new flames while remaining best friends/family, or - and this is where i think we all hope this is going - we get a 4-way polycule. im 50/50 on whether the studio would greenlight that given they've already pushed the envelope with having a nonbinary character and basically everyone is gay, but at the same time i would hope the studio would recognize that the show was wildly successful due in large part to those key elements and would be in favor of pushing the envelope even further (in their eyes). i think jim and archie are gonna see zheng being an absolute badass and fall in love with her and zheng is gonna see jim and archie being absolute badasses and fall in love with them while already being in love with olu specifically because he's NOT a badass and olu's gonna admit he's still in love with jim and they're all gonna live happily ever after completely dominating the seas and killing colonizing dipshits :)

-OLU WHIPPING HIS HEAD AROUND TO LOOK BACK AT JIM WHEN THEY TELL HIM THEY SAW ARCHIE'S BOOBS LMAO

-hi it's me again here to say that it is STILL SO EXTREMELY FUCKED UP AND EVIL OF DAVID JENKINS AND CO. TO BE PLAYING GNOSSIENNE NO.5 WHILE STEDE LOOKS DESPONDENTLY AT THE RUINED REMAINS OF HIS CAPTAINS QUARTERS WHERE HE AND ED CONNECTED FOR THE FIRST TIME AND FELT LIKE SOMEONE FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THEM

-how the fuck did izzy on a crutch and a pegleg sneak up on stede in the captain's quarters lil homie HAS to be sounding like mr. krabs at this point

-"i think the knives really help bring the place together" he literally cannot physically bring himself to not be a bitch around izzy even when he's wallowing in his lost love i am so so so obsessed with him you have no idea

-i know we're all still reeling from the confirmation that stede has ALWAYS known ed - past the rose-colored glasses of falling in love with just the idea of someone - and how his mind works when he asks izzy point blank what they did to ed but. i cannot stop thinking about s1 ed not being able to look stede in the eye as he says "you were always gonna realize what i am" before leaving with calico jack because he was so terrified of the judgement he'd see in stede's eyes. he revealed a less-than-ideal (but comparatively pretty benign) part of himself to the person whose opinion he cares about the most and was too afraid to stick around to see if/when stede would finally reject him for not living up to the standards that ed thinks stede deserves. and yet. we now know with actual proof that stede not only never judged ed for his past and just kinda glossed over any erratic behavior/violent reactions during their time together in favor of keeping an idealized image of ed in his mind, stede understood ed on a deeper level than practically anyone else in the whole world, with the exception of izzy, ever did. stede was so intimately aware of the exact kind of person ed was and what his thoughts and behavioral patterns were that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that there were only two fates for ed if stede didn't reach him in time: he was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying.

-feeling BIG emotions over the almost-sigh that stede does when izzy tells him how ed took his leg for merely mentioning stede's name. the way he looks away and swallows down his guilt and grief and shame.

-"you sent him to doggy heaven" ohhhh my god i wanna know if stede was bracing himself for the heartbreak or the relief (or both!!) of hearing izzy say yes. as i mentioned above, stede had to have had a cloud of impending doom looming over him all these months wondering where ed is and worrying if he'll ever find him again, and that cloud must have only gotten infinitely darker when he found the crew on the revenge only to realize that ed wasn't with them. stede isn't stupid, he proved as much when he told izzy he knew ed was going to destroy everything around him or die in the process, and with ed being very noticeably absent it would only make sense for stede to jump to the worst-case-scenario of the crew having to kill ed before he killed all of them. i think he had probably been emotionally preparing himself for that outcome the second he noticed the crew being shifty about ed's whereabouts, so to get confirmation of it would obviously be genuinely heartbreaking but also an end to the sense of doom that had been hanging around him for a while.

-the way stede whips his head around to look at izzy when izzy tells him no, they didn't send ed to doggy heaven is so! heartbreaking! because you can see the instant flame of hope light up his face for a split second before he reads the profound sadness of izzy's expression as he tells stede they deserted him on a beach and left nature to do the rest. interestingly enough, stede doesn't seem at all reassured or renewed in his hope by this, and im wondering if he knows izzy is lying to him at that point to spare his feelings

-"yeah i was there. that cabin boy's name was felix. he was a really nice guy" i love that we're not only getting a crumb of lore about ed's past on hornigold's ship (that isn't frat-bro posturing with calico jack) but that the crumb we do get highlights ed's humanity. not only does he remember the name of a "lowly" cabin boy, but he remembers that the cabin boy was really nice and is angry that he died so senselessly and hornigold doesn't even seem to care

>>>>>hmmmm now im thinking about how hornigold is a representation of the parts of ed that he hates, so is hornigold's story an allegory for how ed hates how he's shut off his emotions/shown little to no remorse for the hurt and suffering he's caused during his breakup era?

-okay there are SO many mentions of soup this season already someone figure out wtf it's supposed to mean

-THE WAY MY FRIENDS AND I ACTUALLY SCREAMED WHEN ZHENG SAYS "Girl, how are you :(" TO STEDE LIKE THIS SHOW IS 100% CONFIRMED WRITTEN FOR THE GIRLS (gn) AND THE GAYS AND EVERY LINE IS PERFECT

-DAVID JENKINS. WHY. ARE YOU PLAYING. GNOSSIENNE NO.5. WHILE STEDE TELLS ZHENG. ABOUT HOW HE FEELS LIKE HE LET ED DOWN. AND THAT HE'S THE CAUSE OF A LOT OF THIS. AND HOW HE SHOULD'VE JUST TOLD ED HOW HE FEELS. BUT HE WAS SCARED. AND NOW HERE WE ARE. i want you psychologically evaluated because i do believe there is a dark evil inside of you

-PLEASE stede's reaction of basically "ya got me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" to Zheng saying the guys on wanted posters are hot makes my brain fizz

-im not ashamed to say i literally get tears in my eyes from how divine ed looks when he's talking to hornigold about selling handmade shoes like what the fuck did the hair and makeup artists DO to make him even more stunning than before when they had already broken the scale in s1???????????? i feel like i should send them a thank-you care package for the gift they've given us

-"im actually just a very simple man" my sweet precious baby darling eddie boy. you are the most complex character i have ever become obsessed with in my entire life, and i was DEEP in the Castiel trenches at the height of SuperWhoLock tumblr from 2012 - 2014 as an unmedicated teenager still developing her prefrontal cortex.

-"like a jailer, but all the prisoners like you and they can go whenever they want" so what im hearing is ed likes having control over other people but also desperately wants them to like him AND choose to stay with him of their own free will and not because they have to. or it's just a funny simile for an inn like he said :)

-the jeff's inn by the sea roleplay scene makes me so insane i actually can't talk about it rn other than to say it's peak comedy and i want it permanently etched into my brain. also ed's little corsage makes me [feral shrieking]

-GODDD the way this season is so expertly slicing in clips from s1 as a quick flash of an image before coming back to the present is so extremely satisfying and also a direct punch to the solar plexis every time

-"grown man covered in tattoos, eh? with daddy issues?" no comment just screaming

-"we've been living second-to-second for a while now. it's actually kinda nice to have a deadline" this!!! this is what im talking about with the looming sense of impending doom hanging over you for so long that once you get confirmation that it's going to be over soon, even if it's because of a very permanent ending, there's a lot of relief that can be wrapped up in that

-"go on, bonnet. gimme your worst" i feel like i don't have the brain capacity rn to break that interaction down and tease out what izzy would've been expecting stede to do or say and what stede would've been thinking in that moment that was too overwhelming to actually voice but maybe someday i'll get to it

-"okay well i feel like im gonna choose...i feel like im supposed to choose...live" bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooo the intentional writing of ed to say "gonna" at first and then switching it to "supposed to" is sooooooooo insane dude holy shit. i need to know what factors caused him to change his wording. what was he going to say he was gonna do. who or what is pressuring him to make him feel like he's supposed to choose to live. are those two choices - what he was gonna do vs. what he feels like he's supposed to do - at war with each other or is the conflict brewing from the different motivations behind wanting to live vs. feeling like you're supposed to live. the writing is just too good

-godddd someone needs to make a post on hornigold telling ed they're in a judgement-free zone which is basically ed reminding himself that his mind is a safe space for his thoughts and how unbelievably sad it is that ed would even need to remind himself of that in the first place. he's so used to scrutiny and judgement (and it's one of his biggest fears when it comes to the people he cares about the most) that he doesn't even think he's free from it in his own head

-im just gonna say it. ed talking about warmth and intercourse and orgasms is foreshadowing

-"i don't think anyone's waiting for me" i'll actually go lie in the middle of the road right now i swear to god

-it's so interesting how ed gets angry that his fear that no one is waiting for him fucks his pros up

-i don't understand how olu didn't immediately clock that zheng was flirting with him when he's in her office like buddy if i see a very beautiful woman with a very sharp sword and she's pointing it in my direction? that's a marriage proposal

-HOKAYYYY FOLKS WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT OUR FIRST TRUE COMPETENT!STEDE SIGHTING IN THIS EP. he not only devises an escape plan ALL BY HIMSELF, he has the knowledge and foresight to . and guess what? IT ACTUALLY. WORKED. in fact, it was a SWEEPING success where he got EVERYONE safely off the red flag ship and onto his own!!!! this wasn't just some raid won with brute force or a fuckery accomplished due to loony tunes rules, this was an honest-to-god escape plan that required learning the shifts of the guards on deck and at the entrance to the brig to ensure those spaces would be as empty as possible, knowledge of the sleepy-time effects of chamomile in concentrated forms, knowledge of the layout of the ship he's been on for, what? a few days? maybe a week?, knowledge of where they store their weapons and then figuring out how to use the crossbow as a zipline AND remembering to have someone cut the line to prevent any red flag crew from boarding the revenge, figuring out how they can use towels to use said zipline, remembering that the revenge no longer has a wheel and utilizing wee john's strength to secure them a new one while disabling the red flag ship thus greatly increasing their chances of a successful escape. i guess now we know what the hell is going on in towels (it's scheming and plotting)

-jim grabbing archie's hand has they leave the brig

-stede's little hand gesture and "sss" noise he makes to communicate to lucius and black pete they're gonna move forward now even though they're all physically so close it literally would've been quieter if he just whispered his directions to them

-the person at the wheel looking longingly up into the sky. how much do we wanna bet she was thinking about zheng

-"just breathe into it black pe-" WHY ARE THEY SHUSHING MY BOY BUTTONS HE'S RIGHT

-"oy, ya cockeyed -" STOP SILENCING HIM

-"aye look at that, see that black pete -" LET HIM SPEAK

-IZZY PUSHING BUTTONS'S HAND DOWN AS HE'S TELLING BLACK PETE TO OBSERVE ARCHIE'S SHOOTING FORM IS EVERYTHING TO ME

-wee john profusely apologizing to the person he knocked unconscious before knocking them unconscious and then again after stealing their wheel. he is so dear to me

-i genuinely love how buttons wastes NO time in assuming his first mate duties again and directing frenchie and roach to start preparing the ship for sailing. it's just a nice reminder that stede chose him as his first mate for a reason beyond his propensity to attract a motley crew of unique characters - buttons is a genuinely highly skilled, highly competent, and extremely dedicated and hard working sea farer. who may or may not actually be a sea witch that has taken on the form of a humble man

-i actually am very charmed by olu still trying to persuade zheng to spare the lives of his friends while they're making out

-ooooohhhhh the fact that olu had to choose between zheng and jim was such a delightful mini conflict to see him go through. i might wind up making a post about his thoughts and motivations in that moment later on because it's so quick but so profound

-okay 1) the raw emotions in zheng's yell when she sees olu escaping on the revenge literally gave me goosebumps. 2) the look of absolute betrayal on her face in that closing shot gave me even MORE goosebumps. 3) ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR SLIGHTLY SUPERNATURAL FIRST MATE Y'ALL THEY ALWAYS KNOW WHAT'S UP

-i can't wait to see how this betrayal plays out in terms of the red flag fleet being an enemy to the revenge, even though we know it's temporary since we've seen Zheng Yi Sao and her fleet fighting alongside ed and stede in the s2 trailer and in the promotional materials for upcoming episodes

-UHHHH STEDE'S HEARTBROKEN FACE AS THEY'RE LEAVING HELLO?????????????????????????????????

-izzy trying to genuinely thank stede is so. Character Arc.

-also archie and jim training/fake sword fighting in the background

-"clarity? you've made your choice" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-ed realizing that he really just hates himself is going to be MY villain origin story

-what the HELL was up with hornigold doing that howl. hated that

-"i'm not loveable" "and you're scared to do anything about it" i swan to john im gonna start chewing on the steel cables that hold up suspension bridges you literally cannot do this to me right now

-hey so fun fact when kate bush's song kicked in i actually desperately wished someone would've given me one of those neat chamomile towels that makes you pass out instantly because :) i am wholly unequipped :) to hear that song :) in the context of this next scene :))))

-seriously if you haven't read the lyrics to that song yet, first contact your local veterinarian's office and schedule and appointment to be put down whenever their next available time is, then look up the lyrics

-stede calling him a nut again i literally

-UGH the CONFLICT you can see on stede's face when deciding whether or not to remove the fabric covering ed's head or not. does he want to remove the fabric so he can say one final goodbye, face to face? or does he want to leave the fabric on so his last image of ed in his memory will be when he's alive and excited at the prospect of running away with stede?

-the fact that stede is literally pulling the wool from over ed's eyes and waking him back up both physically and spiritually(???)

-like ed, who was resigned to his fate and at peace with his choice to sink into the depths and never wake up again, INSTANTLY finds the motivation to live the SECOND stede interacts with him and he starts fighting as hard as he can to return to the surface, and just when he thinks he's not strong enough and he'll succumb to the darkness anyway, a light appears to pull him back from the brink. stede's voice comes through begging ed to wake up, to come back to him, don't die please don't die, he's here now. and ed's face as he's hearing stede talk to him is so full of love and amusement and admiration and then a little confusion as mermaid!stede appears but goes right back into his fully smitten expression and longing gaze and i just. don't know how we were ever expected to recover from this.

-THEY WERE ACTUALLY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CRAZY TO JUST THROW THE GOD DAMN GENTLEBEARD/BLACKBONNET SEASON 1 BEST MOMENTS MONTAGE AT US LIKE THAT WITH NO WARNING DURING AN ALREADY EXTREMELY EMOTIONALLY TAXING SCENE

-anyway i am both irreparably broken inside and also reborn from this episode. thank you alyssa lane and alex sherman and also i will never forgive you for this

[desastre-gay]

I guess I just lost my husband (I don't know where he went) Chapter 1: I got a a brand new attitude

Amongst the panic as the English board the revenge one crew member remains placid, mostly due to their all encompassing fear, hands raised as they are guided to kneel with the rest of the crew. All are panicky within their own right, however the meekest member is called forward first to be interrogated, guns pressed against their trembling skin to guide them into the captain’s cabin. 

With one last glance at their captain lovers, who stare back at them with love and concern of their own, they are pushed harshly into the room, forced down by their shoulders into an armchair in front of a desk.

An Englishman stands in front of them, hands resting on the desk - shoulder width apart - in an act of intimidation, brow furrowed at the trembling mess sitting in front of him, curled into themselves. 

“What’s your role on this ship? You’re certainly not a pirate.” The bald headed man sneers, getting even closer to their face, which pales considerably before they manage to answer.

“I’m only the cabin boy, sir.” The man’s face relaxes at this, a look of thought coming over him for a fleeting moment before the interrogation continues. 

A few more questions pass before they are allowed to leave - well, before they are escorted back out onto the deck, guided to sit between Lucius and black Pete.

“What happened in there?” Lucius is the one to ask, arms held tightly around his midriff in what seems to be a nervous gesture.

“They basically interrogated me, asked about Stede a lot.” They answer, anxiously looking for said captain but unable to spot him.

“Where is he, by the way?” Lucius fidgets and looks down at the decking, black Pete piping up before he can sugar coat anything.

“I’m pretty sure they took him away for his own interrogation, he is sooo fucked.” 

“Not helping, babe.”

----------------------

There’s no trial, Stede signed a confession and that was good enough for the English army, good enough for them to sentence him to death by firing squad. The only slightly good news is that Edward has been spared, handed over to Izzy per his request. The cabin boy doesn’t know what or how to feel, of course they are devastated for Stede, yet relieved for Edward. 

They stand next to Ed, cursing Izzy Hands and everything he has done under their breath, absolutely delighted when they witness Edward surge forward to punch said man - sending him to the deck. However, once they notice the dangerous glint in his eyes they pull him backwards, hands grasping his arm in desperation as the English raise their rifles.

In a flash, he pulls them with him to stand protectively in front of Stede, shouting at the top of his lungs, “Act of Grace!” Soon he has the entire crew shouting it with him, Stede following as the cabin boy reaches up to pull off his blindfold, smiling gently at him.

The conversation becomes background noise to them as they indulge, swimming in his eyes as they gently cradle his face, tears lining their lower eyelashes. They snap back to the dire situation at hand when the rifles are raised once again, promptly taking a protective stance in front of the blond man, Ed moving back to do the same.

Just when Stede begs for them to re-apply the blindfold, Lucius stands and swiftly begins reading out a log entry from the crew’s very first robbery, Olu presenting the plant as evidence. It’s enough, and the admiral is forced to stand down as he becomes agitated. 

Edward, Stede, the cabin boy and a handful of English guards re-enter the captain’s cabin to go over the act of grace agreement, the cabin boy only following to discover what their lovers had agreed to.

One soldier explains it simply, also adding the clause that for the agreement to apply to Stede, Ed also had to sign. Izzy makes a comment, ignored by everyone as the salt and pepper haired man signs with an X. The three lovers are left alone for a moment, Stede requesting the privacy, causing Izzy to curse as he walks out of the cabin.

It’s quiet for a moment before the cabin boy speaks up, “So, you have to serve the King for ten years?” The words are framed as a question, although it’s really just a statement. “Can I come with you?” This question however is asked with a sense of urgency, causing both Ed and Stede’s faces to fall.

“I really wish you could, dearest, but army service is no place for you.” The blond haired pirate captain reaches for them, holding their face as they did for him mere moments ago.

“I don’t think I can live ten years without you.” Tears begin lining their eyes once again, allowed to fall only to be brushed away by Ed’s thumb, who uses his thumb to turn them towards him.

“We’ll find a way out soon, love, promise. We’ll be back before you even know it.” And if a tear falls from his own eye no one mentions it, as he presses a firm kiss to their forehead, Stede taking the time to do the same before they are taken aboard the English ship.

Both parties stand at the edge of the ships after tearful goodbyes, maintaining eye contact until they can no longer, only able to spot distant black dots. 

------------------

It’s been a hard few days, Izzy taking over as captain clearly having a negative impact on the crew’s morale. It was only a matter of time before words of mutiny began spreading throughout the crew.

The crew of the revenge sway back and forth, gaining momentum with the shared weight of Izzy Hands between them, at the edge of the ship. Just on the final swing, someone calls for them to stop, causing them to turn and stare in awe at Edward Teach (born on a beach). One member of the crew in particular startles, dropping Izzy in the process, before gathering themselves and dashing to their lover.

“Ed!” He catches them, lifting them up in a crushing hug before pulling them into a searing kiss, pouring every emotion since they departed into it. 

“Oh, I missed you, love.” Placing them back onto the firm deck, he holds them by the shoulders, staring at them as if they would disappear if he blinked. The two lovers smile softly at each other, recommitting one another into their memories before the moment is interrupted.

“Where’s Stede?” It’s an innocent question, one that they should rightfully ask about their second lover, but it’s the hopeful look on their grinning face that kills Ed on the inside. His face falls, smile shrinking as he turns back to the frozen crew.

“Izzy, we’ll take tea in my room.” With that the cabin boy is whisked away to the captain’s cabin, building a pillow fort with the fearsome pirate legend at his request. As they both lay there, cabin boy resting upon Ed’s chest in the dim candlelight, they ask about their second lover’s whereabouts once more.

“He didn’t want to come back.” He breaks, tears freely falling down his cheeks as he presses his lips to their temple. “I waited for him, but he never came.” The cabin boy’s face is crestfallen, brow furrowing in thought and despair before lifting their chin to gaze at Edward. 

“He just left you?” And if that alone doesn’t crush Ed’s heart, the way their voice cracks halfway through pummels it into dust. He brings a trembling hand up to swipe their hair out of their face, smoothing it down as he presses a firm kiss to their temple.

“He left us . I waited from dusk to dawn for that man, with no sign of him. After the sun began to rise I had to leave, otherwise the English would’ve caught me.” They lay together for a while, Izzy eventually bringing the tea that was asked for, placing it just inside of the fort to avoid entering it himself. 

Edward sends for Lucius, asking for the scribe to write his song lyrics down. The cabin boy tiredly contributes, adding the occasional word or phrase of their own. Lucius, taking his role as unofficial therapist seriously, offers advice and his own words of comfort to the despairing lovers - highlighting the fact that the both of them still have one another. 

One moment later, Ed is performing his lyrics for the crew, soul pouring out for them all to see with the cabin boy sitting next to him. The words are met with thunderous applause, plenty of compliments passing around - the word ‘visceral’ being said far too many times. 

Feeling their adrenaline dissipate, the cabin boy bids farewell to the salt and pepper haired man as they slip away back to the captain’s cabin in order to get some rest - sleeping without their lovers caused some difficulty. They instantly fall to a deep sleep once they settle into the bed beside the window, soft snores echoing off of the wooden walls. 

They are soon awoken, the sound of voices rousing them as they turn from facing the window to face the two men. Izzy stands at a distance from Edward, seething as he holds a book from Stede’s library.

“I should’ve let the English kill you. This, whatever it is that you’ve become, it’s a fate worse than death.” He grits out, not noticing they have awoken, freely speaking his mind.

“Well, I am still Blackbeard so-” Ed is cut off as the shorter man rips a page out of the book, scrunching it as he shoves it into the captain’s face. 

“No. This… This is Blackbeard. Not some namby-pamby in a silk gown, pining for his boyfriend.” In an instant, Ed has him by the throat, face coated in anger as he pins him to the bookcase. The shorter man steals a glance at the bed, noting the awake state of the cabin boy - laying still with a look of panic and fear.

“Choose your next words wisely, dog.” The glare set upon him would make any other man keel over, perhaps piss themself, but Izzy merely steels his panic and lifts one hand up to cup Blackbeard’s neck.

“There he is.” He is swiftly pushed away, Ed releasing him and backing away in the same motion, Izzy smirking to himself before continuing with a hoarse voice.

“Blackbeard is my captain. I serve Blackbeard. Not Edward. Edward better watch his fuckin’ step.” With each word he leans closer into the man, teeth grit and eyes set into an icy glare of his own. He waits a few seconds before moving away, leaving the cabin in a huff with his shoulders squared. 

“Dear, are you alright?” Edward’s trance is broken by the cabin boy’s voice, laced with sleep yet still concerned for him. 

“I’m fine. Scoot over, love.” They do as he says, shifting closer to the window and lifting the blanket to invite him in. Once laying in the bed, he pulls them down to lie on his chest, arms wrapping around their waist, staring out through the window with an indiscernible look in his eyes. 

----------------

In the dead of the night he slips out of the cabin unnoticed, leaving his lover to sleep the night away til dawn, and stands at the railing of the ship gazing out at the sea. Lucius soon joins him, making his presence known by the creaking of the door opening and closing behind him. 

“Oh there you are, we’ve been looking for you everywhere.” A relieved smile grows on his face whilst Ed’s face only hardens, glare coming back to life with the new company.

Only the waves know where he is now.

---------------

It’s well into the morning when the cabin boy awakes, beams of sunlight blinding them momentarily before they raise their arm to block the rays. As they adjust to their surroundings they stand, arms reaching up to stretch out their back before falling back down to scratch at their lower stomach. 

Then they notice the bare shelves around them, no trace of the books or various trinkets which once decorated the space. Confusion strikes as they make their way out of the cabin, stepping into the harsh sun and stumbling upon first mate Hands. 

The man’s usual scowl is gone, replaced with a self satisfied smirk, at least until he registers their presence in front of him. 

“Was no one keeping fuckin’ watch? Useless fucking twats, back into the captain’s cabin with you.” Shooing them away, he turns in an unusually nervous nature, searching for the elusive Blackbeard. 

“What? I only want to see the crew-” They’re unable to get another word out before the short man grasps their shoulders, turning them swiftly and guiding them back to the door they just closed behind them. 

It’s only when he turns to leave that the cabin boy notices a significant limp, trailing their gaze down to his foot to find stark red seeping through some bandages sticking out of the top of his boot. They go to call out to him, stopping themselves at the slam of the cabin door, the faint click of a lock following.

Left to their own devices, with no books to read or trinkets to mess with, they simply sit upon an armchair - trying at least ten different positions before finding a comfortable one. Time passes slowly, and eventually they grow bored of their spiralling thoughts. What was happening? Why were they locked in the cabin? Why couldn’t they spot any crew members on deck? Where’s Ed? 

Their saviour from their own questions comes in the form of a leather clad Blackbeard, face set in stone and painted in dark charcoal around his eyes and mouth. Seeing his partner waiting for him makes his eyes soften for a moment, hardening once he sees them wearing the shirt Stede had let them ‘borrow’. 

They feel the urge to stand and greet the man, moving their legs from the crossed position they were in to stand, only to be stopped as he comes closer. Placing a hand upon their chest, he guides them to be sitting once again, lifting the same hand to cup their nape. He fiddles with the stray hairs there. 

“I know where I went wrong with Stede now.” The first words spoken between the two only confuse the cabin boy further, more questions popping up with none being answered. Their brow furrows, only to be smoothed out by Ed’s thumb as he uses his other hand to cradle the side of their face. 

“What do you mean, Ed?” He chuckles, low and dark, at the question. Using both hands, he reaches to hold them by the chin, forcing them to maintain eye contact.

“I should never have given him the chance to say no, to leave me - leave us .” His grip tightens, and they panic for a moment before relaxing into the touch, more to comfort Edward than themselves. 

“I’ve learnt my lesson, I won’t make the same mistake twice.” Determination flares in his dark eyes, staring intently at his remaining partner, a fierce possessiveness and protectiveness growing within him. 

“These are your living quarters now. You’re not a cabin boy anymore either, your only job is to stay in here, where I can keep you safe.” Where I know you can’t leave me. He doesn’t allow time for any of the information to sink in, willing himself to sit behind the desk as Fang comes into the room and closes the curtains.

“Oh, and love, it’s Blackbeard in front of the crew. Not Ed.” The cabin boy can only stare at their lover in shock and confusion, none of the words processing completely with his abrupt change of character. 

There’s no time left to question anything as Jim is brought into the room, made to stand in front of the desk. They take a quick glance to the cabin boy, sitting near the other side of the room, with a disorientated look on their downturned face. 

So deep within their own racing thoughts, they fail to comprehend the conversation between the pirate captain and Jim, snapping out of it at the dull thunk of Jim’s body hitting the floor. In a flash they’re across the room, kneeling at Jim’s side and pressing their fingers to their neck. The steady pulse is a relief, causing them to sit back on their haunches with a soft sigh. In the next breath they’re looking at Blackbeard.

“What was that for?!” They don’t receive a response, only Edward calling out a sharp, “Next!” Frenchie shuffles in, seeming to be in high spirits which instantly deflate at the room’s atmosphere. He stares down at Jim and the cabin boy, Jim unconscious and the cabin boy kneeling at their side. 

“Hey, Iz said you wanted to… see me.” The cabin boy is delighted to see him unharmed, being one of their closer friends from the crew, and if it weren’t for Jim laying across their lap they would leap across the small space to embrace the man. 

“Yes… I heard you can sew.” The gun which he had been idly polishing is raised now, pointed directly at Frenchie, who raises his arms in turn.

“Yep. Sew like the wind.” A nervous chuckle escapes him as he glances between the two threatening men, keeping both Jim and the cabin boy in the corner of his eye, even as loud cackling starts from the two men. 

“Get him to work, Fang.” With the dismissal, both Fang and Frenchie leave the same way they came, Frenchie casting one last concerned glance to the two people on the floor. With a slam the door closes behind them and the cabin boy gently lifts Jim from their lap to stand, moving to the front of the desk.

“What the fuck was that about? Where’s the rest of the crew? Why did you do that to Jim? Answer me!” Edward’s gaze flickers from his gun up to his partner, eyes distant and cold as he assesses them. Rather than answering he stands from the chair, coming around to the front of the desk and grasps them by the shoulder. 

Pushing open the door to the cabin, he pulls them along to the railing along the side of the ship. At first they don’t know what they’re supposed to be looking at, but then they see it - the crew of the revenge, marooned on a small island. 

Dread fills them as the crew frantically wave, hoping to be saved by the ones that purposefully left them there. An even colder feeling drops into their stomach when they are unable to spot one member in particular.

“Where’s Lucius?” A hand resting on their nape is all the answer they need, as it directs their field of view to the crashing waves of the sea. Bile fills their throat, tears bubbling up and breath hitching at the implication. 

“Everything’s going as planned, captain.” Of course it’s Izzy Hands who interrupts, standing just behind his captain with his arms folded behind his back. “Jim is secure in the brig and Frenchie has finished the flag.”

“The brig? Why are they in the brig?” At the question Edward tightens his grasp on their nape whilst Izzy remains silent.

“Take them back to my cabin, Iz.” With the command to his first mate he walks away, leaving the cabin boy with the easily angered man. He sneers down at them, grabbing them by the wrist and pushing them in front of him, taking a familiar route back to the captain’s cabin.

[yaboi-weenis]

Take a. WILD guess . As to what my autistic ass is also obsessed with

Brainrot (and closeups) under the break

So here are the *not* Star Fleet people, Markus Dolly and Blazer

Markus is Mich’s adoptive son, and being housed on ship because the cardassians found out he was raised on earth— and want him *back*,

Blazer was taken as a prisoner by the Romulans after being the only survivor in an attack, they kept him alive because they knew that *destroyed* his sense of honor,

Luckily he met Dolly, a surprisingly kind child, and became a better father figure to her than her actual dad <3

Eventually things get dire and Dolly sends out a distress signal behind Blazer’s back, knowing he’d hate that— and they end up getting rescued by The Federation.

Next the lovely Bridge Officers,

Bajoran Commander Roberts Theo,

Human Captain Mich Teshome,

And Trill Chief of Security Baladin Nguyen

Theo wears his earring on the left, because he doesn’t practice Bajoran religion but still proudly considers xemself one of them

Funny thing: Markus is *terrified* of him (though it isn’t actually species related)

Theo makes an instant connection with Blazer and Dolly, being the one who trusts them the most at first and able to communicate the easiest (knowing sign language— as Blazer is still deaf)

Blazer asks him for advice on how to parent because as sweet as Dolly is, she gets herself into some serious shenanigans 😭

And then the other lovelies ❤️

Eddie is half Andorian, Elliot is human, Nestor is half Vulcan, and Payton is half Betazoid <3

Elliot is under Eddie, being in engineering, but Eddie gave him a whole new department (IT) because he cant do SHIT with a warp core

Also Payton BEGGED Mich to 1. Allow Eddie on board and 2. Let him wear his hat

I love men in uniform…

[genshin-scenarios]

Hii I would like to request a platonic Beidou x Kazuha x reader please where reader is pretty much an exile/wanted person and joins the crux fleet! The reader can be from any region! Thanks!!

Platonic Beidou and Kazuha with Thief!Reader

You started as a small-time thief in Liyue; pickpocketing small items to pawn off for food, or to share with the others that lived in the secluded corner of the city with you.

As you grew older however, so did the value of things you stole. Jewelry, personal items, even to shadow a person because they were suspected of some other offense by your commissioner - you did whatever jobs that came to someone with a lengthy criminal record. 

You’ve never hurt anyone, though - so maybe that’s why on the first night you receive your vision and accidentally hit a pursuer in defense, Beidou was quick to step in and de-escalate the situation. She gives you a word of advice before you escape into the harbor, wondering why it feels like you’ve seen her before.

Weeks later you're commissioned to steal an item from the Crux. Your agility got you as far as the deck before the crew tried to apprehend you, some supposedly-valuable document tucked into your pocket as you planned to make a dive into the water–

Until Beidou blocks your way, a glint in her eyes that's equal parts curious and on-guard; like a dragon that is well-aware one swing of her claws is all it’d take to knock you down. She raises her palms in the air however, a sign of peace. The captain gives you an offer.

From that point onward, you’ve become a member of their crew - well, considering that you sold out your commissioner to the Crux, it wasn’t like any of your clients would be thrilled at the idea of giving you anymore sensitive missions anyways. 

The training you had to take in order to professionally join them was grueling, but a part of you feels at peace with your routine now; work, eat, play, navigate, repeat. After you’ve reached a satisfactory level, Beidou informs you that there’s one last trial to pass: your reason for sailing with them.

Every day is an adventure with the Crux, but with it comes the risk of losing your life in the process. Beidou would not take a newcomer with half-hearted intentions; she wouldn’t want to rope you onto a life at sea like that.

Later on, when the Crux docks at Inazuma, you’re given a new task. Needless to say you’re quite sure that stealing an entire person is not the same as a jewel or prized painting, but the situation with the vision hunt decree was dire.

Luckily for you, Kazuha didn’t need to be found - he ran right into you while he was fleeing from guards, and you quickly led him to where the Crux was hidden to depart from Inazuma. The rest is history as time went on; Kazuha liked to ask you for stories about Liyue, and the first time you docked again, well… Beidou set you up to be his tour guide in a convoluted way (joking that his job was to make sure you don’t try to steal any treasure while you’re on land.)

Your sense of hearing is good, and so is your featherlight-touch that makes you handy in missions, but Kazuha is on a whole other league when it comes to spatial awareness. It’s reassuring to fight alongside him, and you’ve entrusted some of your combat training to him too (it’s hard to not want to improve once you witness his swordsmanship, after all.)

Oftentimes you’re used as a decoy for transactions if you need to plant an item or take something from the opposing side, or on another hand, the ‘spears’ of the Crux might cover you in battle while you sneak away to accomplish your task. It’s intense and exciting, but a lot more enjoyable compared to when you had to fight against the world alone.

Competitions to catch the largest fish is not an uncommon occurrence, and Beidou likes to say that you remind her a bit of her past self. Her fondness for you shows when she’s bragging to Ningguang about the skilled thief they have on-board, or joining you to visit those you used to live with.

Well… and if you’re a little too short to get alcohol on-board, she does sneak you a glass if you’re old enough. With a drink in hand and listening to Kazuha’s stories while he grills the day’s catch, there’s really nowhere else you’d rather call home.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Spiderwebs Part 748

Okay Toei, I forgot about this one being on y'all and it is a dope addition. Cavendish has cutouts of adoring fans if none are around. He needs them, he has a condition. A condition I find hilarious. This specific moment is where I want to end this series on and thankfully Cabbage gets a little more love as a key lead-in. Remember the idea is early Dressrosa & where it breaks down is the biggest example of what the Straw Hats lack going forward. Cavendish is a great example of who works well as a counter...but he's just too damn annoying to be more than the star of the Grand Fleet. Yes, the fact he has a foil dynamic with an adoring fanboy is certainly relevant when compared to a later renowned beauty with a demon alter ego.

This anime addition is bolstering an interesting scene in Dressrosa, 748 is kind of an internal story that serves as a transition for Luffy & Zoro but also reinforces this overall idea. Like, it comes in later but echoes some of those early ideas. That's what I wanna look at, from the perspective this chapter is where we really see the idea of a Grand Fleet start to form:

You probably remember this gag well. A bunch of the future GF captains badger Luffy about how they're all going to kick the shit out of Doflamingo. But looking back there are some more interesting scenes. The first is this. Because fame is an important context when we talk themes that come up later in Wano. It's telling Luffy doesn't really even get what Cavendish is on about here. Remember this is between Jinbei struggling to get Luffy to understand this concept and Wano showing him get it; you're a famous figure now and that will influence how you got about things. See Lucy in the Colosseum.

Cabbage is a great example of how fame can net you enemies through no fault of your own. But it isn't just him. This segment is interesting because its a lot of future Grand Fleet captains coming together. You could argue this is a key moment where the Fleet forms, and fittingly for my bullshit it's also a big place where you see how rowdy and prone to infighting the group can be. An early example that they don't always listen to Luffy well. Even Zoro tries and fails to craft a sensible plan. That plus what prompts this meeting already is a pretty damn cool coincidence to have 200 chapters before the big reveal for Kiku in Udon.

Luffy and Zoro get tossed down because of losing their shit at Pica's voice. Which is objectively hilarious. But actually stop and think beyond the gag. Losing their composure for a bit had big consequences, the scene pushes that angle. It delayed them and Pica's rampage contributes a lot to Dressrosa's destruction. This is an idea that'll come up in the fight too; Doflamingo tries to taunt Law about Corazon and remarks that he's matured when it doesn't work. Kaido tries another version that does work on Luffy by being silly and flirty in a dire moment.

Part of why I find the trans reveal for Kiku in Udon as interesting. Chopper's one thing but getting bogged down in a big conversation about that right at that moment wouldn't just piss off our beloved Crane Wife and made her (metaphorically) fly away, it could have jeopardized the whole capture of the prison. They needed to act fast to keep the report from getting out. You know, pulling a Doflamingo and giving a fake one.

Where this all comes together for me though isn't the coincidence with a chapter number...it's the title. Ore no Onagaeshi or "I'm Returning the Favor" like what the future captains are shouting as they all come together. Of course, that's interesting in light of the lil bookend we have around Bakura Town. 913's Tsuru no Onageshi and it's folklore allusion that casts a long shadow over Kiku's story followed by 918's Luffytaro Returns the Favor.

Of course, the story of Luffy, Zoro, and a strange new girl making everything in Wano more complicated because they had to save a little girl and dole out vigilante justice. It was still a much more orderly type of chicanery even if Law griped about it. Seriously though, this segment does use a lot of the same concepts and it's cool how it all comes together around someone who impresses Luffy at least would theoretically be good at keeping that group of ruffians in line.

[askkrenko]

Krenko’s Guide to Creature Types: Orc

Art by Darren Tan

What is a Orc (flavorfully)?

Orcs are basically larger, stronger, more ferocious Goblins. They’re known for being brutish, ferocious, impulsive, stupid, and basically everything Goblins are except that they’re big enough to back it up on an individual level rather than needing to swarm. The reason they’re so much like Goblins is that classic Orcs ARE Goblins and it wasn’t until 1977 when Dungeons and Dragons decided they were different.  Since then, the modern idea has been that Goblins are the small ones, Orcs are the medium ones, and Ogres, which are also historically the same thing, are the large ones. While this line of thought has mostly been accepted into modern culture, it’s not a hard and fast rule and it’s often not codified at all in things that aren’t directly from the D&D lineage. Orcs just being big goblins was extremely obvious in the early sets, where cards like Orcish Librarian and Orcish Settlers used the commonly repeated Goblin joke of being really bad at their stated job.

Orcs in Magic: the Gathering appear sparingly on Dominaria and heavily among the Pirates of Ixalan and the Mardu/Kologhan Clan of Tarkir. Population density on Arcavios is unclear, but there are a few at Strixhaven University.  As a D&D race, they’re also featured in Forgotten Realms sets.

What is an Orc (mechanically)?

Orc is a racial creature type, usually for Black or Red creatures with power and toughness in the 2-4 range. Forgotten Realms Orcs are often other colors, but Forgotten Realms does a lot of weird things to match the D&D flavor. All the Orcs in MtG worlds are Black and/or Red, at least. 

Orcs have a high instance of the Dash ability, but this is primarily due to being so heavily focused on the faction it belongs to. Most Orc abilities seem to be based more on their faction than the identity of being an Orc, though they do seem to have a higher than usual instance of cards that use drawbacks to get more power. 

Can I make an Orc deck?

Despite very little Orc tribal support or synergy, Orcs come with enough raw Red/Black aggression that putting a pile of them together to turn sideways is perfectly viable. That said, if you actually want to make a competent deck full of Orcs, you’re better off ignoring Orc tribal and either going Pirate tribal or making a Mardu/Khologan faction deck. You’re going to get a lot of Orcs either way, but the best support Orcs are cards like Dire Fleet Neckbreaker and Warbringer that support faction rather than all Orcs.  The only actual Orc Tribal cards, Orc General and Orcish Captain, aren’t even better than the artifact ‘choose a creature type’ rewards.

In Commander, you’re using Zurgo Helmsmasher. He’s one of the best Orcs on his own and he’s in all the colors you actually care about. Yes, there are other Legendary Orcs, but the only other one with an argument is Sek’Kuar, Deathkeeper, and the White splash is far, far better than the Green splash here. With the handful of Orcs printed in Commander Legends, Orcs actually have a bit extra going on in a multiplayer format. 

Is Orc a good creature type?

Orc is not doing great. Their identity of mid-sized black/red creature is interesting, but they don’t have enough in there to call their own. They operate on the ground between Goblins and Ogres without any traits to really set them apart from either, but Goblins can get as big as Orcs and Ogres can get as small as them, so Orcs are just fighting for design space with both. Orcs having drawbacks to gain more benefit is a good idea, but it’s certainly not being leaned into, and for whatever reason we’re seeing Orcs in Blue and White now, which just muddies what an Orc is even further.

Now, people like Orcs, I get that. Thanks to D&D inspiring Warhammer and that being blatantly ripped off into Warcraft, Orcs have a huge space in modern culture, but they’re just not doing anything in Magic. Wizards does seem committed to printing more Orcs, but this commitment doesn’t seem to include a willingness to define the Orc as something other than a Goblin/Ogre, and Ogre is historically just Orc in French.

My personal opinion is that for gameplay purposes Orcs and Ogres should just be the same tribe, but that’s not a fight I’m going to win, so I think Wizards needs to stop printing off-color Orcs and lean more heavily into the idea of Orcs as a tribe with a lot of strength and a lot of drawbacks. Mardu Outrider, which doesn’t even exist in paper, feels like a perfect Orc to me and I’d love to see more like that.

[transmorphobots]

Ad Astra!

Up and coming heir of the Runaway Fleet and apprentice of Admiral Overwatch, its Captain Ad Astra. Originally a gladiator who trained under Overwatch she continued to follow them to the formation of the Runaway Fleet.

Overwatch eventually helped her get a new name to fit her new space-flight frame based on a phrase from Earth they heard.

While she has all the skills necessary to take over the fleet and has the respect of the other captains and crews, she often struggles with self-doubt and fights a battle between what she really wants. This is the only life she's known but as the war between Transformers continues to grow more dire, is this the only life she wants? Time will tell.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: WMD

( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord )

“The fleet has entered high anchor Admiral Bancroft.”

Bancroft nodded to his second in command but gave no other response as he looked out the window.

Things seemed so peaceful when he looked out the window into the void. The light of a thousand stars shinning back at him in silence, possibly the only true silence he had ever known his entire life. He would come here to his personal quarters, away from the chaotic noise of the command deck or the hallways of his ship filled with the echoes of machinery a dozen decks below. Here he could calm his mind and collect his thoughts; and for what was to come he was in dire need of a calm mind.

“Get me weapons control.”

A small display appeared on the window Bancroft was looking out of. The image was hazy for a few moments before it came into focus and a person came into view.

“Weapons control here, sir.”

“Mr. Milton is the weapon ready for deployment?” Bancroft asked.

From the display Milton turned and spoke to someone off screen for a moment before replying.

“We have loaded the weapon into launcher three and technicians are making their final checks now.”

Bancroft was about to acknowledge the report when he noticed Mr. Milton was acting strangely. His long years of service aboard the Cairo had given him insight into reading his crew and officers. He could tell that Milton had something more he wished to say, but was holding his tongue out of duty.

“Do you have something more to add, Mr. Milton?” Bancroft asked. “You may speak freely.”

“Sir,” Milton began uneasily, “it’s about the weapon.”

“You have concerns about it?”

Milton looked around again as if making sure no one could overhear him before continuing to speak with his captain. “I’ve managed every weapon on this ship for the last two decades; but this Nano bomb, something doesn’t feel right about it.”

“I’m afraid wars are not won with feelings, Mr. Milton.” Bancroft replied, but Milton shook his head.

“I’ve inspected every weapon ever used on this ship, but these technicians that brought the nano bomb aboard won’t even let me within ten feet of the damn thing without threatening to break my legs.”

“It’s a prototype, Mr. Milton;” Bancroft said while rubbing the bridge of his nose, “you know how these science types get when they play with their latest toy.”

“We’re not talking about a fancy laser pointer or a copier that prints food.” Mr. Milton retorted.

Bancroft’s gaze hardened. “Careful, Mr. Milton.” He said. He allowed his crew some leniency with how they addressed him but he would not tolerate insubordination.

Realizing he was close to overstepping himself Milton paused to collect his thoughts.

“Apologies sir,” he began, his eyes looking at the floor for a moment as if ashamed of his actions, “I am just worried what might happen to the ship and the fleet when this thing goes off and we’re right next to ground zero.”

Hearing this Bancroft couldn’t help but agree.

The war department had given him this new bomb to deploy when he had set out with his fleet for the final battle against the Ken’dar, but they had given little in details about what it would actually do. They had demanded a portion of his ship be sectioned off for its storage and support team to handle during transition and during the entire trip to the Ken’dar homeworld the technicians supervising the device had not once set foot outside of their area.

When the remnants of the Ken’dar fleet had made a final stand against the human fleet the first communication from the technicians was made ordering the admiral to keep the Cairo away from the fighting. Bancroft had been incensed to be ordered around on his own flagship by outsiders, but they had the mandate from the central government so he held the Cairo back.

Now it was time to deploy the weapon and still he knew nothing of its intent. He shared the concerns Mr. Milton had, but he knew that there were some things better left unknown.

“Your concerns are noted, Mr. Milton.” Bancroft replied, turning back to his second in command who was still waiting behind him. “Tolland, order the rest of the fleet to break orbit and move further out; we shall remain at high anchor until the weapon is deployed and then withdraw as well.”

“Understood,” Tolland replied immediately, “but our orders from the technicians were to hold high anchor until they finished gathering the weapons data.”

Bancroft turned to face Tolland. “They may have oversight of their latest death machine, but I still command this fleet and I say when and where it goes.”

He took several steps closer to Tolland who straightened up further until Bancroft was right in front of him.

“If they have a problem with my orders you may show them to the nearest shuttle pod and have them sent down to the surface; we can pick them up afterwards.”

Needing no more instruction, Tolland saluted and left the room to issue the new orders. When Bancroft turned back to the window he could see the fleet breaking high anchor and following his instructions.

“Will that satisfy you Mr. Milton?” Bancroft asked as he resumed his spot at the window.

“Aye, sir.” Milton responded.

“Then deploy the weapon.”

The display went out leaving Bancroft looking at the planet below. Several minutes passed before a streak of pure light shot out from his ship and began making its way to the surface.

Bancroft watched the light continue its rapid descent until he heard the door to the room open once more as Tolland returned.

“The ship will begin maneuvering away from the planet as you commanded sir.” Tolland said as he took up his position behind him. “The technicians were upset but relented once I showed them to the nearest airlock.”

This brought a smile to Bancroft’s face. “Well done Tolland.”

Nodding his thanks, Tolland continued “They appear to have hacked into the planets security system and are monitoring the results now; would you care to observe as well?”

Bancroft tilted his head in acknowledgment and a projection of the capital city appeared before him. The camera appeared to be part of a road network system for monitoring traffic. As he watched he could see Ken’darians pulling over to the side of the road and looking up. Though he could never fully read their alien expressions, he knew the look of pure terror all too well.

The camera slowly panned up from the city streets and the trail of the weapon came into full view.

Coming down at near impossible speeds, the rocket impacted the tallest building in the city with a thunderous impact. Bancroft closed his eyes expecting a blinding light from the explosion, but to his surprise nothing came.

He opened to see the top of the building had crumbled like cardboard from the impact, but otherwise the city was intact. He saw the Ken’darian citizens began looking amongst themselves in equal surprise as if the notion of their continued existence was something they had not counted on.

“Mr. Milton,” Bancroft spoke as his face returned once again on a separate projection, “have the technicians reported a failure with the weapon?”

Milton shook his head. “They are telling me that the weapon is working as intended.”

“Working?” Bancroft inquired. He was going to ask for an elaboration when Tolland coughed and drew his attention back to the security feed.

When he looked back he saw that the top of the impacted building was shifting and seemingly moving. Large pools of a grey material were dripping down the sides of the building like pools of sludge while the top of the building began to melt away.

“What am I looking at Mr. Milton?” Bancroft asked, sure that his weapons officer was also monitoring the feed.

“By the seven heavens of Astrid….” Milton spoke softly, entranced by what he was seeing.

“Mr. Milton, report.” Bancroft repeated, this time infused with more authority. This snapped Milton back to the present and he gave his analysis.

“I’m not one hundred percent sure, but if I am seeing this right I would wager what we are looking at is a nano tech warhead.”

“I thought nano tech only had medicinal applications?” Tolland asked as he stepped forward and joined Bancroft at the screen.

Milton nodded. “It is, but it can just as easily be repurposed like anything else.”

The large puddles of nano tech finally consumed the entire building and smashed into the street like a great tidal wave. Ken’darians began screaming in fear as it spread out rapidly and began latching on to other buildings and filling up the entire length of the street.

“They must have turned off the built in safety features and told the machines to devour anything and replicate.” Milton said as he continued watching the display. “Plastics, metal, concrete-“

“Flesh.” Tolland cut in as the camera feed showed an unlucky Ken’darian failing to flee fast enough from the onrushing tide of nano machines. The pools of the machines flowed around their feet and to Bancroft’s horror the poor Ken’darian was being pulled into the pool. Their flesh being eaten away by hundreds of thousands of machines as they screamed, twisting and thrashing violently trying to escape only to further spread the machines on to their body.

Tolland looked away as the layers of skin were removed one after another and the raw muscles were exposed as the Ken’darian finally expired and sank beneath the grey blob.

“Jesus….” Milton muttered softly.

“I don’t think he would be much help right now Mr. Milton.” Tolland replied, turning away from display feeds.

The tidal wave of machines swept past the camera and Bancroft watched as the feed carried on for a few moments more before the machine was torn to pieces by the tiny machines.

“That explains why they were so paranoid about it onboard.” Bancroft replied dryly. “If an ounce of this had gotten free we’d have all been dead within an hour.”

Mr. Milton scoffed in agreement but said nothing else.

“How long do they plan to let these machines run wild?” Bancroft asked Milton.

“They did not give me a timeframe sir,” he replied, “but I imagine they will let these little buggers run wild until there is nothing left on the world.”

Bancroft stood in silence and looked out into space again, seeking the calm once more.

“Bring up another feed.” He asked quietly.

“You don’t need to watch this, admiral.” Tolland said. “There’s no need for you to see such destruction.”

To his surprised Bancroft shook his head. “I unleashed this; I will not look away from it.”

[fanficstartrekouat]

Snow-White logs

Scene captain's ready room

Snow White: I'm captain Snow-White Nolan Blanchard Charming Mills of the USS Fairytale and am reporting that my crew and I found a new quadrant or sector that has been uncharted. May I name it the Zeta sector?

Starfleet command: A new quadrant, that is an admirable discovery. You are Captain of the Fairytale and have the authority to name the newly discovered sector. I hereby decree that this sector shall be known as the Zeta Sector.

Snow White: this sector seems to be home of dangerous races. Our first encounter was with a planet that had lizard-like people sort of like the Goarn but they referred to themselves as Frost demons and claimed that they rule the entire universe under the command of some guy named Chill.

Starfleet command: This sounds dangerous, how did the encounter with the "Frost Demons" unfold?

Snow: ( in a depressing tone): Not very well. I've lost many good crewmen against them. We needed fuel. We detected a planet, that we thought could be friendly or we assumed so but we were ambushed by the Frost demons. They seemed to only want to fight and control us. our options were to retreat but they followed however it seems that they can breathe in space.

Starfleet command: I am sorry to hear about your tragic losses. This is worrisome. A species that desires only to fight is one that needs to be handled carefully. It is possible that they might have been provoked? Are there any reports of their behavior towards other species that were peaceful?

Snow White: I don't believe so I've heard rumors that the Frost demons, sent soldiers or warriors to planets in order to kill the population and then sell the planet. I've also heard that they can use energy beams from their body.

Starfleet command: This is deeply concerning. This information needs to be presented to the Federation council immediately so that a proper response can be prepared. It is of utmost importance that you and your ship report back to the next Federation starbase. Have you had any other encounters with these beings? Any luck with acquiring fuel?

Snow White: as for fuel we are running on empty we can't make it Beck without assistance. No, we've barely managed to escape our first encounter my ship is heavily damaged and my crew is working around the cloak to try and fix it.

Star fleet command: It appears you are in a dire situation, it is very unlikely that you can escape another encounter with the Frost Demons in your current weakened state and it is also unlikely that you can repair the ship quickly enough to acquire fuel and avoid running out. Do you have any other options?

Snow White: you're a story teller? Well I don't know what to do if I knew of any other options I wouldn't be looking for assistance but thank you for your time. I'll be in the med bay.

End of act one

Act 2 scene Th USS Fairytale madbaby

Snow White: DR Belle how are our crew is Commander David Nolan Charming My husband a survivor? and what of my daughter ensign Emma Ruth Swan Nolan Blanchard Charming White Mills?

Belle: Captain am doing the best I can but I have too many patients and your husband and daughter are going to survive but it's going to take some time.

Snow White: Oh I know you are but it's harder when it's your family.

Belle: I understand captain Ill do my best to save everybody onboard I have my medical team working around the clock.

end of act 2

Act three scene the bridge of the USS Fairytale

Snow-white: Commander Cinderella hail Admiral Regina

Commander Cinderella: Understood.

Commander Cinderella is hailing Admiral Regina .

Please wait for a reply.

Captain Snow White explains her situation to Starfleet hoping that admiral Regina Mills ( her mom)could send some help and fuel.

The transmission is successful but it takes a while until there is a reply.

Admiral Regina Mills' face appears on the monitor.

Snow: Admiral Regina Mills please mom can you help me i am desperate.

Admiral Mills - My dear Snow White, I am sorry to hear that you are in a dire situation. What is it that you need assistance with?

Snow: Fixing the ship acquiring fuel and understanding this new violent race. and extra medical help for Dr. Belle.

Admiral Mills - I have ordered the USS Whitehorse, a medical and rescue vessel, to rendezvous with the Fairytale in 72 hours. I am sorry that it is not sooner as it is a lengthy journey. As for the new race, I will have our intelligence officers study the information you have provided and advise how to proceed.

I am in a meeting with the Federation Council now but I will do everything I can to help get you out of this situation.

Snow White: mother thank you. Oh one more thing our weapons don't seem to have any affect on these creatures they are capable of Mass destruction with just a finger and they can breathe in space.

AdmiralMills - It might be wise to hold onto your weapons and find out if they are open to a peaceful negotiation. In the meantime, the Federation Council and I will discuss how to proceed with caution and to avoid further escalation. I do not want to lose you and your crew.

Snow: they are not peaceful at all they seem to relish in mass destruction and seem to have no remorse for their actions.

AdmiralMills - I understand. We will discuss the matter further and take the necessary measures. I also recommend keeping your weapons ready as a deterrent. I know that you will be able to come up with a clever strategy, I have faith in your abilities as a captain and a leader. I believe in you, take care.

And with that she ends the transmission.

End of Act three and scene

[fantrollology]

Alaska what kind of things would make a psionic or psychic troll not worth working with for either you or the fleet?

"I'd say for the fleet it's a metric of finances and time. It varies from general to general, captain to captain, et cetera, but I don't find myself working on any truly dire cases unless whoever is calling it is the patient themselves, or an administrator with some personal investment."

"As for me… I'd refuse anyone that poses too much of a threat to my well-being, or otherwise wildly uncooperative trolls. I find most can be reasoned with, but I'm not going to make the call to physically restrain someone and force a procedure. When it comes to enhancement or long-term projects, I'll refuse it if I don't think something is feasible or particularly interesting."

[goldenjedikenobi99]

A Lion's Pride, a Stag's Fury - 3

I do not own anything. This is just for fun!

Gerion I

It was a moonless night. The sky was dark and thundering. The sea was a little rough, but it was to their advantage. The waves were hitting the ships from behind, making them move easier towards their destination. It was a storm without a storm. No rain, no flash of lightning. And yet the noise from the wind was roaring. It was like nature itself was aiding them. Nobody could see them sailing through Shipbreaker Bay. Nobody could hear them. They were invisible.

Gerion was counting his breaths. He was standing on the deck of his small ship, waiting. He had no clue how much time had passed since they had begun rowing. He could see nothing else but the tiny torch of light at the back of the ship. That had been the smuggler's idea. That way the other ships would not lose their way, while at the same time they would not be seen by a long distance. Hopefully.

Gerion could not believe what they were attempting. This whole plan was dangerous. More than dangerous. If they were not killed by Redwyne and his fleet, then they would surely find their demise in the sea. A real storm could start any minute. And then nothing would save them from joining Steffon Baratheon in his watery grave. In all honesty, what was Tywin thinking? His brother had probably lost his wits. Why else was this green boy so important that Tywin Lannister would endanger himself, his heir and one of his brothers?

Gerion could not think of an answer. All this was surreal to him. He remembered the day it started. He had been drinking wine with Kevan when Tywin had come looking for him. He had made a jape that his Golden brother would seek him out himself, but Tywin had not reacted at all. Not a disappointed frown, not a downturn of his lips. Nothing. Instead, he had ordered him to find the best sailors in Lannisport and bring them to him by the break of the following morning. And then he had left. 

Despite being known for his recklessness and flippancy, Gerion was a clever, perceptible man. He could acknowledge when a situation was just a simple problem and when it was indeed dire. And at that particular moment, he had recognized his brother's tension. So without further thought, he had done exactly as asked. 

He had gathered 400 men. Young, strong, but experienced sailors who knew how to do their job. And he had brought them to his brother. It had surprised him that Tywin had wanted him to remain while speaking to them. And he had been even more incredulous after the end of his speech. Apparently, his brother had decided to join the Rebels. And he needed to smuggle Jaime out of King's Landing. So, he had decided to send forty of these men with Gerion as their Captain to do the job. And he had wanted it done in a fortnight.

Gerion had been so flabbergasted that he had been unable to hold his tongue.

"Are you mad, Tywin?" he had asked incredulously.

His brother had only stared at him before turning back to the men.

“Who among you can do as I order?” he had asked.

About 50 young men had walked forwards with some hesitation.

"I am giving one thousand golden dragons to each of you that reach King's Landing in a fortnight. I don't care about the winds. I don't care about the storms. Anyone who can make a sailing ship move by at least 200 miles a day will receive a thousand golden dragons. Now, can you accomplish what I am asking?"

Immediately all fifty men had burst into applause. Every single one of them had accepted the challenge. 

Gerion for once in his life had been completely speechless. He had turned to his brother wide-eyed.

"You leave in the morning. You will take a small sailing ship. You will travel fast, but carefully. When you reach Flea Bottom you will search for a man named Davos. He is a smuggler. You will pay him whatever price he wants. In exchange, he will have to help get Jaime, Elia and her children out. The plan is written in this paper right here. You will explain everything to him as I say. And afterward, you will join me and the rest of these men in Tarth. Let us see then if this Davos will smuggle us through the most prominent fleet of Westeros."

Tywin had spoken these words loudly for all to hear. 

“Every sailor that follows me to Storm’s End, each and every one of you who follows my orders will be rewarded with 500 golden dragons.”

The rest of the men had applauded too.

Tywin had then turned his solemn face to him.

"For once in your life, make me proud, brother."

And then he had left.

From then on, everything had passed quicker than possible. Gerion had read Tywin's letter time and time again. He had learned it by heart. And even so, he had not been able to understand Tywin's reasoning. His big brother was risking everything for Stannis Baratheon. Despite that, he had followed the instructions to the letter. Finding Davos had been quite easy. Persuading him to do the job even easier. He had a family to look after. Gold was gold.

Quite unexpectedly, the plan had worked and before he knew it Jaime was sitting on the deck beside him. But there had been one surprise. His nephew had not spoken once. Not once in the three days back to Tarth. He had not smiled at his japes. He had spent all of his time with the Dornish Princess and her little ones. Gerion had felt worried for the first time in his life.

They had found the seven ships Tywin had written about exactly where he had said. Tywin had joined them on their ship immediately. But before he had touched both of his feet on deck, something ludicrous had happened. Jaime had jumped on him and held him in a tight embrace. Gerion had almost laughed at his brother's expression. His mouth was opening and closing like a fish. He was gapping at his son. But, of course, Tywin being Tywin, he had managed to regain his composure too soon for Gerion's liking. He had grabbed Jaime by the shoulders and to Gerion's astonishment had hugged him just as fiercely. 

That had been some hours ago now. Tywin had spoken with the smuggler for a long time before they decided that the best moment to start their operation would be in the dead of night. And that was that. 

Gerion let out a shaky breath. It was time to get some answers. All this darkness was getting on his nerves.

He moved towards the only cabin of the ship where he knew he would find his brother. He opened the door and got inside. Tywin was sitting on a chair near the table where a lone candle lit up the room. He was looking at Jaime who was pacing rapidly. Princess Elia was in another chair with her children sleeping in a pile of clothing near her.  Gerion moved closer, but no one paid him attention.

“It’s war, then,” his nephew whispered without stopping his movements.

“It is. Prince Doran and I came to an agreement. We shall expect more than 30,000 men in a fortnight.” his brother answered in the same tone.

“Are we sure that everyone will be convinced of my death?”

“If you followed my instructions to the letter, then yes.”

“We did as you said. With the armor and everything. And the body was already headless.”

“Then everything is going according to plan.”

“So our forces will come the same time as the Dornish?”

“Around the same time, yes.”

“And what about the Princess and the children? Wouldn’t they be safer in Dorne?”

“Absolutely. However, this ship is carrying salted fish and onions. It is important that it arrives in Storm’s End alongside the galleys. Prince Doran agreed quite reluctantly. But I gave him my word that his family will be protected at all times.”

His brother turned towards the princess.

“As I wrote to you in that letter, I intend to keep my word, my Lady. Storm’s End will be safe for you all.”

“I believe you, my Lord.”

“And what about us, Father? Uncle Gerion would be of more use with our fleet, not trapped inside a castle. And I could be assisting uncle Tygett when the fight starts. You know that I am the best swordsman that we have.”

“You will not fight, Jaime. You will be safe inside the castle guarding the Martells. If I die, you will be the Warden of the West.”

Jaime looked stricken.

“You will not die, Father. I am too young to rule.”

Gerion almost coughed in laughter. Was that Jaime speaking? He saw his brother raise an eyebrow questioningly.

“Is this not the part where you say that Tyrion is my heir?”

Jaime’s gaze, much to Gerion’s surprise, hardened.

“Yes, well, you will not need to pretend anymore in my presence, Father. It became common knowledge that he is not your heir.”

Gerion was perplexed. He looked at Tywin. His brother had become serious.

“What is that supposed to mean, son?”

Jaime grew more livid, if possible.  

"How could you, Father?" finally hissed careful not to wake the children.

His brother only stared at him.

"How could you leave that animal live?"

Gerion was confused.

"What are you speaking of, Jaime?"

His brother's gaze was calculating.

"I am speaking about that raping monster!"

Tywin still only looked at him.

"He raped my mother and you did nothing!"

Gerion could have sworn that his heart had stopped beating. He couldn't breathe. He strode over to Jaime and seized him by the arms. 

"What did you just say, boy?" he thundered.

Jaime looked him in the eyes.

"He raped my mother," he pronounced every word.

At that moment a scratching sound made him turn around. Tywin was slowly dragging his chair backwards. Gerion watched him as he stood and came next to him. He looked at Jaime intently.

"Did he tell you?" he asked in a deadly calm voice.

“Drop the act, father. What does it matter if he told me when you already knew?”

Tywin bared his teeth in anger.

“Did… he… tell… you?”

Gerion cringed. This was not good. He looked at Jaime. The boy had a horrified expression in his eyes. He could feel his tremors in his arms.

Jaime finally nodded.

Gerion swore at that moment that he would never forget what had happened next. Tywin's labored breathing, the whitening of his face, his form crumbling to the floor, his scream of anguish. And finally his tears. He swore to himself that whenever he found himself doubting Tywin's humanity, he would bring this moment in his mind. 

Gerion slowly approached Tywin. He dropped down and hugged his older brother cruddling his head on his chest. Tywin did not resist. He just kept crying silently. After a while, Jaime joined them. 

"We will avenge her, papa," he whispered.

Tywin opened his eyes. They were full of steel. The anger was gone, the anguish was gone. All that remained was a heart made of stone.

"Yes, we will."

Gerion grew a little scared. This was not a time for another Raynes and Tarbecks.

"I hope that you don't mean us, my Lord.", came the steely voice of princess Elia.

They all turned to her. But before his brother spoke his mind, Gerion tried to be reasonable.

"No, Tywin. They are not at fault. Aerys and Rhaegar, yes. They are both mad and rapers. But not these children. They are innocent."

"They are dragon spawn!"

"No, Father! Think about your friend Steffon! He was half Targaryen, too. Are you going to kill his sons, too?"

Tywin considered his boy. He blinked his eyes a few times before he sagged forward in the arms of his brother. 

"You are right, Jaime. I will most definitely not." Then he turned to Elia. He stood up and approached her. "I already gave you my word. Now I do it one final time. You have my word that nothing will happen to you or your children by my hand. However, the Targaryen's reign is over. I will not allow Aerys or his son to keep breathing. If you ever consider taking the crown for your son, then I will consider you my enemy, my Lady."

Elia nodded. And then as if reluctant she spoke quietly. 

"I would have done the same, my Lord."

Then she did something unexpected. She brought up her hand and she touched his cheek with compassion. Gerion was shocked that his brother allowed that. 

"I wish that you find someone to mend your heart, my Lord. Now that I have seen it so utterly broken, I pray that there is someone out there who will turn this stony face of yours into the handsome lion that my mother used to speak of. And do not worry. I will keep this to myself. After all, I am in your debt for saving my life as well as that of my children. Take care, my Lord."

What Tywin did next was baffling. He took her hand from his cheek and kissed her palm knightly. 

"There will never be anyone like Joanna, my Lady."

He then turned and left the cabin in hurried steps.

Gerion shared a worried glance with Jaime. After a silent communication, he followed after his brother. He found him in the quarterdeck staring at the darkness. He approached him quietly and put a hand on his shoulder. His brother’s only reaction was a long exhale.

They stayed like that for a long time.

I hope this was not out of character! Thanks for reading!

[philippmichelreichold]

Space Dreadnoughts by Dave Drake

Space Dreadnoughts is a Military Science Fiction anthology by David Drake, Martin H Greenberg and Charles G Waugh. The contents in order of appearance are:

"Introduction: A quick Look at Battle Fleets" by David Drake

"The Only Thing We Learn" by Cyril M. Kornbluth

"C-Chute" by Isaac Asimov

"Allamagoosa" by Eric Frank Russell (won the Hugo Award for bestshort story in 1955)

"A Question of Courage" by J. F. Bone

"Superiority" by Arthur C. Clarke

"Hindsight" by Jack Williamson

"The Last Battalion" by David Drake

"Shadow on the Stars" by Algis Budrys

"Time Lag" by Poul Anderson

The first Military Sci Fi story I remember is the Star Trek TOS episode "Balance of Terror," in which Enterprise duels with a Romulan interloper. The military conflict was setting to other conflicts between the crew, the story was full of suspense, and actual battle was a small part of the story. And so it is here.

The book's title is a misnomer. The back cover blurb is misleading-- "Massive and arrogant, they patrol the final war zone-- deep space. All great battleships before them-- . . . are mere toys in comparison." It goes on about "bristling artillery" and "battalions of souldiers." I expected fleet actions involving capital ships. Tactics. Maneuvers. Gunplay. While there are fleet actions and even battleships in some of these stories, they are mere backdrops on a stage where people play out the stories. Truly good Science Fiction involves people, and in all these stories, the people overshadow the military settings that serve only to bring out the characters and whatever lessons there are to be learned from them. All of these stories are well worth reading.

"Introduction: A quick Look at Battle Fleets" Mr Drake's introduction is a wonderful introspective about the history of the Dreadnought battleships with a mention of two 1950's Astounding essays on the armaments of spaceships-- one by Willy Ley, the other by Malcolm Jameson. If one is going to write stories about ship-to-ship combat, the introduction is a good starting point. But only a starting point. One should definitely read Mahan, and consider the lessons of Taranto and Pearl Harbor. And the US Navy's Harpoon's and Tomahawk's are wonderful arguments in favor of missles over guns. One should also consider the time honored techniques of ramming and boarding actions.

Perhaps the question of guns vs missles is mooted today. The arms race has continued in Sci-Fi beyond what could be imagined with a knowledge of 1950's physics. The Ley and Jameson essays were written before Empire of Man fighters raked Formoria, before rail guns, and CTD imploders, before GRASER's, X-ray LASER's and phaser banks, before the Moties bombarded Mote Prime with asteroids, and before Captain Sheridan laid a gigaton on Z'ha'dum.

"The Only Thing We Learn" Kornbluth tells a cautionary tale of faded Imperial glory. The barbarians at the gates will one day have descendants that are as decadent and prissy as the effete and ineffectual empire they deposed and replaced. History blurs and magnifies the epic tales of glory. The details are lost. The character is lost. One day a fresh wave of barbarians sweeps aside succcessors that their ancestors would be ashamed to acknowledge. The reader may decide what relationship if any there is between this story and the quote from Friedrich Hegel. A fun story despite the dire consequences for the past and future losers. In his column, "Rereading Kornbluth", Robert Silverberg calls The Only Thing We Learn, "a subtle, oblique, elliptical, sardonic piece of work."

"C-Chute" Dr. Asimov wrote this story in 1951. It is a psychodrama set aboard a passenger ship taken as a prize by a race of chlorine breathers in Earth's first intersteller war. Each of the passengers is sketched by Asimov to reveal their several flaws of personality, physicality or character. Each has reasons why he should not exit the cabin via the C-chute, EVA, and enter and retake the control room from outside the ship. The reason for the dubious hero to take the heroic action required to retake the ship is one unlikey to appear in the work of any author but Dr. Asimov.

"Allamagoosa" This story won the 1955 Hugo for best short story. It's a farcical look at officious bureaucracy of the greatest gravity. It's sort of a shaggy dog story, wink, wink. This story in and of itself is worth buying the book for. The build up and so obvious in hindsight ending is fresh enough to be as enjoyable today as it was then.

"A Question of Courage" Sometimes flair and heedless risk taking can be mistaken for true personal courage. When the genuine article appears, there's no mistaking it. Bone craftliy deveops his characters and sets the reader up for the old maidish Captain "Cautious Charley" Chase of Lachesis to reveal his true nature. It is available from Project Gutenberg.

"Superiority" Sir Arthur requires no introduction for this story, a reductio ad absurdum about the principle of Illusory Superiority. Technology and bedazzlment with the latest, most theoretically wonderful advances are no substitutes for common sense and sound military doctrine. Perhaps this should serve as a cautionary tale at a time when Iraqi insurgents hack into our drones. According to Wikipedia, this gem was required reading at West Point. The reader easily empathizes with the narrator and his plight, revealed at the end.

"Hindsight" Jack Williamson has won both the Nebula and the Hugo Awards, and had a career that spanned about seventy years. This story involves temporal mechanics and love, oppression and liberation, and meeting engagements. Incidentally, the guns employed by the Astrach's fleet are of 20-inch caliber and fire four salvos per second. It's a tightly written story, though I think the ending is a little drippy.

"The Last Battalion" Imagine that Hitler did not die in a bunker in Berlin, but escaped via U-Boat to a secret Waffen-SS base in New Swabia. There German scientists built flying saucers from which they reached the moon to to mine aluminum and build more flying saucers. Now imagine them getting into a war with aliens. With things not looking so good, they kidnap a US Senator to let him know what is going on, intending to drag the US into the conflict. Before they can get where they're going with the Senator, the aliens lay a nuke on their Antartic base. They drop the Senator off to find his own way home. He asks them what they will do. Their colonel replies, we are SS-- we will fight.

"Shadow on the Stars" Budrys's Farlans are felinoid aliens who at first blush look like humans in cat suits. But they are, on a closer look, "raving paranoid quote." The paranoia is pathological and eventually fatal for Farla-- any military leader with sufficient ability to be effective cannot be trusted by Farla's rulers, and will be killed at the earliest sign of that fatal disease, military competence. The story is a retrospective, the central character telling how he and Farla came to be in their present straits. It is too late for him to convey the warning against trusting Earth, and to late to avoid the inevitable dissolution of Farla.

I have a problem accepting the plot device Budrys uses to set up the narrative, but otherwise the story is interesting and fun to read. The prose is a bit over decourous and affected, but that brings out the effeteness and pretentiousness of the Farlan culture. At the start, the Farlans are hard-pressed by a barabarian culture, the Vilk, and need a strong, capable leader to drive them back. OF course the strong, capable leaders keep their heads down so has not to find themselves assassinated by the Ministry of Preparedness-- and then comes L'Miranid. A previously unknown reservist, he quickly dominates the Fleet and whips them into shape. Victory follows victory until the Vilk host is driven back, their subject planets pounded to rubble, and a Farlan imposed king seated upon their throne.

The real story action is not fleet engatgements and daring raids, though. The story is related by Henlo, one of those capable leaders who has balanced command of a capital ship wtih avoiding notice by the governmental hunters down of competence. He starts the story as having a clear understanding of Farla's problems and the steps necessary to remedy them, but can't afford to be noticed. He becomes L'Mararind's aid, admirer, vice-admiral, intended assasin and successor, and finally, his unwilling co-conspirator and successor. Unwilling to be assasinated himself, he seizes control of the Farlan government. By this time, the sad (for Farla) truth is known to him, but (I love Latin quotes.) "alea jacta est." This is a fine little story with a lovely twist toward the end.

"Time Lag" Poul Anderson has won both the Hugo and Nebula Awards. Time Lag is a study in contrasts-- evil, greedy invaders against noble, selfless defenders. Chertkoi is a heavily overpopulated industrial planet, drowning in pollution and resource starved. Vaynamo is pristine, with a population sustainable through resource management. Vayanmo is never the less technologically advanced, with the technology's goal as preservation rather than exploitation. Expolitation is the name of Chertkoi's game. It's people conquer other worlds to fuel the industrial fires that smother their world under a cloud of pollution.

The archetype of the Chertoi is the Admiral commanding the invasion fleet. He is matched against the story's view point character, Elva. Elva is the widow of a Vayanmoan noble and prisoner of the Admiral. He is gross, vulgar and uncouth. She is pretty, cultured and well-mannered. He is a love struck boor, hopelessly smitten by her. She subtly endures his presence to manipulate him so that she an return herself and the other captives to Vayanmo in a portrayal that is believable and sympathetic. The invasion is a leveraged takeover in three stages-- a scouting raid, a strategic strike to destroy what little industry the Vayanmo posses, and a full-scale invasion. The title relativistic time lag (fifteen years) gives the Chertkoi time to build their invasion fleet and the Vaynamo time to prepare their reception.

References

Space Dreadnoughts by Dave Drake. Philipp Michel Reichold. JUL 19TH, 2017

Space Dreadnoughts. ed. David Drake, Martin H. Greenberg, Charles G. Waugh. July 1990.

Star Trek. "Balance of Terror."

The Mote in God's Eye. Jerry Purnelle and Larry Niven.

Various Polity universe stores. Neal Asher.

Babylon 5. "Z'ha'dum"

The Battle of Sauron. John F. Carr and Don Hawthorne.

[legacyofacat]

[1] Nimbus Try I: Arpeggio of Hurt Steel

Kongō hurt everywhere. 

The places that had been pierced by her own blades she could mute herself to – she was a warship, after all – but her Union Core? It hurt, it hurt so terribly and she couldn't silence it.

Yet, she had followed the Blue Fleet to Hawaii, where they now rested in order to repair themselves with the help of this bay's nanomaterial potent water, the natural formation protecting them from curious eyes and potential enemies.

Iona and Kongō used the time to gaze across the sea in silence, a bit away from the others, enjoying the view of the glittering waves and the occasional glimpse of a fish.

It was rare that both had the chance to do so consciously and enjoy it – however, as with all good things, their respite should end soon enough.

"Gunzō Chihaya, an unknown contact entered the detection range", Haruna called to the captain. She, Makie and Kirishima were closest to the shore and had thus realized the newcomer first.

"An unknown contact?", he walked a few steps in their direction, "a Fog ship?"

Haruna stared forwards, focused: "...Affirmative. Battleship without known class, identifies as Akuma."

That did stun the man a bit.

"An unknown class… is that even possible?", asked Kyōhei.

He thought they had just gotten over the worst possible event with that whole berserk Kongō thing and now there was someone new!?

Hyūga entered the conversation as well: "Normally not, but if it's one of the ships I'm assuming, then it wouldn't surprise me."

"You don't think it's her!?", Kirishima called, a trace of panic in her voice as she and her sister backed up, Makie behind them, looking confusedly at them both.

"I think that's quite possible~", she was clearly amused, but there was also underlying tension in her that she tried to overplay.

Iori was standing with her human friends. Even given their current status, she doubted that they all couldn't escape.

After all, they had six mental models with them, four of which were fast battleships; she was sure that they could manage something similar to what they had done at Iwo Jima. 

She wasn't the only one looking at the Mental Models in consideration, though, because Gunzō did so as well.

However, he viewed the situation as a bit more dire:

All the Mental Models had either backed up, straightened noticeably or stared out at the sea as if awaiting a storm – he feared that one was indeed brewing and that they wouldn't be able to get through it unscathed.

With the current status of the only two available vessels and the fact that everyone was more than exhausted, then, if the Akuma turned out to be an enemy, it really didn't look good.

We can’t survive all this just to fail here!

"Iona!", he called, the submarine immediately making way towards him, "can you contact her?"

"I'll try", she didn’t even think about it, "but I don't know if I can."

"That's alright", he smiled at her.

Iona nodded and reached out to the battleship, slightly surprised when her request was answered with "I was wondering when you would contact me" before she found herself in the white pavilion, seated on one of the chairs, on the other a dark-skinned Mental Model.

The contrast to how the pavilion had looked the last time she had been here to now was so big, it almost gave her whiplash.

She stopped looking at her surroundings, focusing on what must be the Akuma’s Mental Model, who had been looking around too, eyebrows slightly raised at the flowers and green grass.

"...I like what you did to the place", she said critically, "I hope you don't mind the new decoration", she pointed up above them, where a striped green plant sat in a dangling pot.

Akuma had a large black dog lying underneath her chair but didn’t pay it any mind and instead took a sip of tea: "They call you Iona, right? That's a nice name, do you know where it comes from?"

"I don't", the submarine shook her head, "Akuma, why are you here?"

"I'm on a mission, so to say."

"A mission from the Fog?", Takao had joined the conversation, "then you're wrong here."

"Not from the Fog, what in that fleet should interest me now?", Akuma traced her fingers idly around the cup's rim, "a mission from our flagship – don't tell me the news of our defection didn't reach you yet?"

Of course it had reached them, how could it not? The fleet had been in distress an entire month afterwards until the High Flagships had agreed on new territorial borders with the "Fleet of Masks" High Flagship Vanisher.

"They've reached us", Takao crossed her arms.

"Good. Vanisher send me to check up on you guys."

"Check up on us?", asked Iona.

"You're carrying the Vibration Warhead with you, are you not? Vanisher decided that it would be better to be friends rather than fight needlessly, so I'm here."

The two other Mental Models shared a look.

"I will ask Gunzō."

"That your captain? Thanks."

--

Yes, it's fanfiction time again :D

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