#disorganized speech

[wheresernie]

If you have speech issues due to brain fog or psychosis or schizophrenia spectrum or intellectual disability or aphasia or whatever reason love you forever. We are not stupid, we are not freaks, we are disabled (if you identify that way) and deserve to be normalized. Speak "strange" forever

-schizophrenic with somewhat constant disorganized speech and writing

[alixisherebutringagain]

Psychotic episode are fucking terrifying so sorry if I don't like when you use the word "delulu" and sorry if I don't want to talk to you because you think I'm crazy or dangerous and sorry if you think I'm exaggerating BUT FUCK YOU BECAUSE I WAS TERRIFIED.

I WAS SCARED.

I WAS LIKE A KID SCARED OF THE DARK.

HOW DARE YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY.

I WAS AFRAID TO GET KILLED, I WAS TERRIFIED OF GOING OUTSIDE I WAS CONVINCED OF HORRIBLE THINGS I COULDN'T SPEAK I COULDN'T MOVE I WAS TRAPPED IN MY BRAIN SO FUCK YOU.

Fuck anyone who thinks psychotic episodes are funny. Fuck anyone who judges someone for being on the schizo spec. Fuck anyone who laughs at this.

[pxppet]

Mutism/Nonspeaking Awareness Flag

I, like many others, suffer from mutism due to a physical disability. Every flag I've seen for the nonspeaking and nonverbal community is based in autism and related issues, without representation for those of us who are nonspeaking for reasons such as being a cancer survivor, schizophrenia, muscle tension dysphonia, spasmodic dysphonia, aphrasia, brain damage, etc. and related conditions. There are a large variety of conditions that I rarely see representation for, and this flag is for us.

The white stripes represents hope for a more accepting future for nonspeaking and mute people.

The purple stripes represents entirely nonspeaking people.

The blue stripes represents AAC and sign language users.

The green stripes represents people with fluctuating levels of verbality.

The yellow stripe represents community and the way we have each other's backs in this struggle.

The symbol is a vague representation of the lack of a voice. I couldn't decide which one looked better so feel free to use either.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

Oh yeah make sure neglected people get love until that neglected person is a fucking narcissist. Cause all narcissists are bad. Everything I do is intentionally manipulative or maybe they'll say I'm not actually a narcissist and are just confused or supporting them cause I've been made to feel guilty. I've been on both sides. People will believe I'm a narcissist and so therefore I'm abusive or people will not believe I'm a narcissist cause I'm too nice and just getting caught up in narcissists manipulating me to support them.

I hate the idea that my self image is not by my choice. I will always be what OTHERS perceive me as. I have always been that and it will continue to be that. People will either see someone that can't do any wrong or someone that can only do wrong. Like stfu I am a person! I can do good and bad! I have a past of being toxic and harmful esp as a teenager cause I was a fucking mentally fucked teen still in an abusive situation.

I just. I dunno. Im waiting on food so I'm very like just ranty about everything and anything. But like. Stfu. Stfu stfu stfu stfu stfu. If anyone else is needy and needs attention or reassurance then it's fine. But I have had it demonized since my fucking childhood and had my fucking meltdowns demonized as being intentionally manipulative!!! I WAS A FIVE YEAR OLD AUTISTIC CHILD STFU!!!!!

And people praising empathy as being good piss me off. Cause you know what else can also have hypoempathy? AUTISM. Low empathy is not just an "evil" personality disorder thing. Anyone can be anywhere on the scale of empathy. And it doesn't fucking matter. And anyone can be capable of good or bad. It has literally nothing to do with narcissism or any disorder.

Like wtf are anti narcissists gonna fucking do when they realize theyve done harm??? Cause you know what being someone believing in narc abuse did to me?! It made me believe that i was justified as a victim of narcissists so therefore I couldn't be wrong in my trauma responses.

Yeah. Accepting im a narcissist did way more for helping my relationships by allowing me to understand and communicate my needs than believing in narc abuse and calling my parents narcissists ever fucking did. Wtf are they gonna do when they're told about the harm they've done??? Not even related to narc abuse. I would have horrible episodes and defended myself cause I wasn't like my abusive "narcissistic" parents. And all it did was lead to more fights and more episodes and my friend couldn't help cause they were dealing with trauma responses too (people pleasing, believing it was okay what I did or that she deserved it even when I told her not to say or believe that, it's a very lengthy explanation required thing.)

Anyone and everyone is capable of good and bad and is capable of harming others. Whether it's full on abuse, even worse things, or just being insensitive and thoughtless. Focusing so much on the big bad narcissists will only continue to focus on this "us vs them" mentality that completely negates any sort of nuance and ignores the fact that harmful people, abusers, and even the worst of humanity is ALLOWED by society. It isn't a prevalence of narcissists, it is fucking bigotry. And it is everywhere. And it allows abuse to be normalized.

Big list of things I been thinking on. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm already fucking stressed and my parents won't stfu so I can think and type. Disorganized speech, semiverbal, can't thinky think.

[neuroticboyfriend]

I wish I knew the words to describe my relationship with verbal communication and speech. I do experience situational speech loss and episodic disorganized thinking. But there's something that permeates my everyday life. I just don't have a normative relationship with speaking.

You will always be able to communicate with me best in writing; it's the most accessible to me. It gives me the time I need to organize my thoughts, allows me to make sure I'm saying what I mean, and. It physically is easier too. There's just something about speaking that's functionally harder for me, and I dont know what it is. I wish I could communicate in writing for everything.

[petrichoremojis]

image id 1: [a thought bubble with swirls and scribbles of many colors in it]

image id 2: [a speech bubble with swirls and scribbles of many colors in it]

disorganized thinking. disorganized speech. both schizophrenia symptoms thanks help for ID person Discord serverthank you help ID

[glitchdollmemoria]

i think one of the most frustrating things for me regarding my own schizotypy is the difficulty with communicating. i cant tell if its gotten worse over time, or if im just becoming more aware of it as i learn more about my condition. its frustrating, because theres so much i want to say sometimes, and i just cant. i cant voice my thoughts succinctly. i cant explain whats going on in my head. i try to talk to people, and i get misunderstood, i get told that its hard to follow what im saying, or people draw the wrong conclusions.

and theres not anyone in this world who can magically decipher what im trying to communicate - not any friend, not my partner, not a doctor. no matter how loved i may be, no matter how much effort and compassion goes into any interaction with me, i will always have trouble being understood. unless theres some medication that can fix the wiring of my brain, and i doubt that given ive had schizotypal symptoms for as long as i can remember. even if i follow through on all my plans and i get married and have a fantastic life with my beautiful incredible wife and i have children i love and care for, i will always have a degree of separation between myself and my loved ones, and it makes me want to cry.

i can come to terms with magical thinking, i can learn to manage that. i can work to gain a better understanding of the patterns to help me recognize the differences between rational thought and delusion. i can bear the weight of knowing my perception is different from others, i can handle it, ive been catching onto it for years. i can even appreciate that my schizotypy gives me a unique sense of creativity. its a gift in some ways, even if its mostly a burden. but struggling to communicate, knowing ill never be fully understood, knowing im stuck in my own little bubble and even the people who love me the most are incapable of breaching it - that hurts. that hurts the most.

[cluster-a-culture-is]

questioning StPD culture is struggling HARD to figure out what disorganized speech looks like and if you do indeed experience it outside of your major "episodes" brought on by distress and panic

I don't know if it may help but, in my experience thinking and speech isn't as disorganised as you can see in psychosis.

it's more like

talking weird, not making much sense (but still making some sense, so people can generally understand what you're meaning but they'd have a confused look on their faces)

using lots of paraphrases or metaphors when they aren't of use

seeming stiff or uptight because you're using many long or difficult words

changing topics rapidly because of thought blocking (this is one of the reasons why stpd may look like inattentive adhd, because you can't remember what you were saying so you end up just saying something else)

copying speech from people on TV or some other media, like news reporters, songs, movies, so much that you may hear people say you're trying too hard to imitate that person or character. I often find myself involuntarily mimicking speech from charactes I like or from songs I've listened to, I'm not making an effort to consciously imitate it, it just happens

in psychosis, it can be frequent thought blocking, neologisms, incorrect word usage or unusual choice of words, using similar sounds or vague association, incoherence and derailment, echolalia and palilalia, flight of ideas and acceleration of speech/thinking, slowed processing of thoughts and speech, or alogia. it can be a lot of things, really, and no disorganised thought is the same

in truth, disorganised or generally odd speech can happen in a variety of ways, reading the EASE helped me a lot to understand some things I did and didn't know it was because of schizotypal

[pissfingers-illegal]

I'll probably delete this later bcs i'm tired and angry but

My fucking God would it be nice for people i'm close to to stop pretending that i'm perfectly normal

Like yes, i for others to treat me like they would someone else, but at the same time acknowledging that i have some things off would be nice.

I have disorganized speech- i often struggle with speaking, have pauses, use incorrect words and grammar, forget words, etc. It's mostly due to psychosis, and it's something i am very insecure about. Same goes with my memory loss. I've forgotten words, important events, personal i formation and such details, and it is very much frustrating when i struggle to even remember my own native language. Yet the only time anyone acknowledges that is when they joke about it. They'll get angry about me forgetting to do something, they'll think i'm dumb when i make a complete word salad, and then they'll poke fun at me, but they'll still fail to see the underlying problem. And even if they do, they won't think it's a big deal.

When i was younger and my school asked if i'll need any special treatment, my dad said "It's nothing to worry about". I spent the next 2 years with shitty grades due to the cognitive issues that came with psychosis, bullied becouse i was seen as weird, and always late becouse my pills made me so awfuly sleepy and drowsy. My family was either angry or joked about it. And my school didn't do anything becouse my dad already told them that it's nothing to worry about.

It feels like they're just pretending that i'm a normal son. Like all my flaws and failiures are due to my own character, and not some other untreated issue. It feels like any progress that i make is ruined by either them bullying me, or by the fact that they won't even try to accommodate for my issues, becouse they don't think i have any.

[rachymarie]

I just wanted to say that schizospec isn't only losing words unable to speak/articulate,

It can also feature the following:

Can't stop talking is a part of both of my disabilities that i struggle with and it doesn't often slow down when I'm tired either in fact it gets worse the more tired I am. I can't regulate

Most days I am suffering from this spurred on by the flight of ideas/racing thoughts I experience and you may have noticed I will get stuck on a certain topic - it isn't unusual for me to trawl certain tags that pique my extreme interest right to the bottom of Tumblr in one (often hours-long) sitting without feeding myself or regard for my bodily comfort.

I'm not being annoying/unhinged because i can actually help it (I can't seem to) I have a compulsion to keep talking.

Tbf I don't know where the autism starts and the schizopec begins (or however that conjunction is supposed to be structured

Plus there is sooo much to say in the fight for our rights

So sorry if anyone thinks I'm cluttering up any tags but this is my account of the schizospec experience (well comorbid with autism but sorry don't know how to separate the two often because they have so much symptom overlap and actually history between the two)

I am glad that I can understand most people who have trouble speaking, but i can feel bad thinking that maybe they have trouble understanding me if it's too many words to process. And don't think any schizospec should be spoken over. This is just how I speak, and that's how they speak and I have had trouble speaking too. They actually get things across more succinctly than i seem to with much less words. Much respect

[punk-pangolins]

POV ur me in art class the other day

me: *hears a funky song begin to play and points at the speaker*

me: *immediately forgets the word for band*

me staring blankly at my friends: "whighn whas whthe... who is the name of the man in the speaker?"

[alixisherebutringagain]

TW: paranoia, homicidal thoughts, aggressive thoughts

Something I feel isn't talked about enough is the guilt.

I feel so guilty.

I'm sorry I don't trust you, I know you're my sister, I know you're my family, I know you're my soulmate, I know you're my best friend. I don't trust you. I can't. And I'm sorry for it.

I'm sorry I scared you, I'm sorry I can't listen to you, I'm sorry I annoy you, I'm sorry I took your time.

And it's more than that.

How do you deal with the guilt of homicidal/agressive thoughts ? How can you ever forgive me ? How will I ever forgive myself ?

I get so paranoid in the street I scream in my head "come close to me and I'll punch you, I'll make you pay, I'll make sure you can't walk again" and is the fact that I am terrified an excuse ? Is it a good enough excuse ? Is it forgivable ?

How can I ever look people in the eye when I daydreamt I unalived them ? What if they knew ? What would they do ? Would they make me pay ?

I am a mess and I am guilty and I am scared which makes me enraged which makes me even more guilty which makes me even more scared and it's never ending but how could it ever end ?

No one who hasn't had thoughts like this will ever understand. I know how they'd look at me if they knew. I look at myself the same way.

Sorry for the vent.

[delusionalculture-is]

Disorganized speech/thoughts culture is not noticing the slow decline that usually indicates you're going to have an episode until you get other symptoms or are suddenly aware of how badly disorganized your entire being is

-CCC (we didn't see it on the claimed tags so we assume it's free)

.

[pplatonic]

when i'm in a car and it's still, usually i'll hallucinate that the road is moving forward slightly, and it feels like the car is slipping backwards, even though it isn't. this keeps me from driving, because the road is not safe for me when i hallucinate this.

when the voices are bad enough, they can overpower my ability to hear or talk to other people. sometimes, they are so overwhelming that they overpower my decision making capabilities.

when my paranoia is bad, i'll stare out my window grasping the curtains looking for monsters and stalkers coming after me. i'll be unable to sleep because i am too obsessed with the fact that somebody will break into my house at any minute.

when my paranoia tears me away from my loved ones and convinces me that they're out to get me, it erases my support system. it keeps me from seeking the help and recovery i so desperately need - the assistance that i need to heal.

when my cotard's gets severe, i lose sight of the fact that i need to feed and shower myself. it stops becoming an automatic thought process that i need to perform these tasks, and my self-care abilities drop drastically, since i believe i don't need it.

when i experience thought broadcasting, especially severely, i will believe i don't need to communicate things since people can read my mind anyways. i become frustrated even, when they don't get the messages i think they're getting. i have even stopped talking to people altogether at points.

when i experience disorganized speech, my mind is very frantic and in a flurry, and all of a sudden, people can't understand what i'm saying. needless to say this greatly impacts my ability to communicate, leaving me unable to effectively transfer ideas to a person if they're not willing to break apart and analyze my speech to try and make sense out of it.

these are the ways that psychosis impairs and disables me in my life. happy disabled pride month, and i'm proud of all you folks that deal with psychosis for living through and surviving such a hard thing to deal with.

people with psychosis, feel free to add on with your experiences!

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

Actually at this point it’s kinda impressive how garbage I can be at Words

[apologyacceptedcaptainneeda]

gon dye hair red wednesday gon look sos good excite! cant wait but haves to

work tomorow and thend go to friends next day but also gotsta buy dye and bleach and stuffs

words hard speech hard disorgnized