#divorce is a good thing

[lilithsaintcrow]

“I am not going to spend my life training a man to see me as a human being.”

I find this absolutely speaks to my experience. The kids and I STILL talk about how much immediately cleaner the house got once I threw my ex-husband out.

Seriously--two school-age children, three cats, and me. And the house got CLEANER once the adult male was tossed out on his ear. I went and got a dog—TWO dogs--and it was STILL CLEANER.

Not only that, but we suddenly had money, because it wasn't being wasted on bullshit. It was a revelation. That divorce was the best thing to ever happen to me and my kids.

All these men butthurt because women aren't picking up after them or servicing them anymore. Go ahead and cry, failsons. Just do it in your own shitty rented rooms full of rubbish, we don't want to hear it.

[brainwormcity]

David Tennant doesn't know how to half-ass a kiss. If/when we finally get a good kiss between Crowley and Aziraphale, I suspect I will be passing away from the passion of it. He just puts his whole David Tennussy into every kiss.

[tweedfeather]

…too soon?

[tampire]

#Drag Him Crowley

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 105

 A cult summons the ghost king. Except they don’t. Instead they get these tiny white-haired triplets of toddlers blinking at the summoning circle looking confused. 

 They’ve gotten the ghost princes and princess instead. 

 The very young princes and princess who are none too pleased and going to cause problems on purpose for both rogues and heroes alike. As godlings de-aged into their ghost age are like to do. 

 Meanwhile in the Realms, Pariah is staring down at where his trio of ghost toddlers that Clockwork had handed him when he had first woken up and was still groggy just disappeared from. He looks over at Fright Knight, his dearest brother, who looks just as shocked. 

 Clockwork is going to kill them both if they don’t get the kids back now. 

[thepeacefulgarden]

[bluberryfields]

This is what happens when you're raised by TV and trained in literary analysis

Beyond the crushing heartbreak of that finale, one thing in particular has stuck with me when I look at it in the context of S2 as a whole.

He lays out their relationship, "We're a team, a group. A group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't."

He then turns his head away and says, "I mean, the last few years, not really."

He pauses here, facing the interior of the bookshop. Really looks it up and down.

Turns back, "And I would like to spend" before choking on his words and looks toward the window. He can't finish saying something like "And I would like to spend eternity with you" because that's too much, too fast, for both of them.

But it's that "last few years" bit that has firmly lodged itself in my very broken brain.

According to Gaiman, it's been "a few years" since the end of Season 1. Armageddon has been averted. Heaven and Hell have reluctantly retreated. Crowley and Aziraphale have been effectively cut loose from their "sides," leaving them to form their own side.

So at the start of Season 2, we get a glimpse of the “fragile existence” they have carved out for themselves. To me, the biggest difference that we see is how they exist together in front of others. Going to the coffee shop, the pub, and the other shops along the street that Aziraphale has lived on for over 200 years. And don’t forget how they act in front of Nina, Maggie, and sweet, dim Muriel.

At the coffee shop, Aziraphale stammers a bit when Nina asks who Crowley is, but he still seems to have affection in his voice when he says, "We go back a long time."

Compared to Shakespearian "He's not my friend! We've never met before. We don't know each other!" panic, this is an incredible difference.

Of course, each time, Crowley is cool and cheeky and does nothing to indicate that they aren't a pair. Though, of course, he does deny it when Nina asks about Aziraphale being his side piece. “He’s not my bit on the side! He’s far too pure of heart to be anyone’s bit on the side.” And refers to him as an “Angel [swallows]I know.”

When they go the pub, Crowley's joy at doing something together in public that they do not normally do is super cute, including his cheeky order for Aziraphale's sherry. Then, when bringing the drinks over to the socially trapped Aziraphale, he greets Mr. Brown with a truly adorable, "Hello" and a signature DT smile. Then upon hearing how “excited” Mr. Fell is to host the meeting, he looks down and says, “Oh? You astonish me.” while Aziraphale sips his sherry and squirms.

We also watch as Crowley follows Aziraphale as he goes to each shop and talks to the owners about the meeting/secret ball. In theory, Crowley has no reason to tag along, and he certainly doesn’t help sway anyone who doesn’t want to/can’t go. He goofs around at the magic shop. He splays out on the bench, chin on hand, looking for all the world a husband waiting for his wife to pick out a dress at the department store. They are so married it’s ridiculous.

Finally, their behavior in front of Muriel while inside their sanctuary. Crowley sits on the arm of Aziraphale’s chair, somehow looking supremely comfortable on the old-fashioned furniture. He folds up those gloriously long limbs and presses himself as close as possible.

He smiles and plays along with Aziraphale’s coaching of Muriel in her disguise. Calls him Angel and asks to speak in private. And at the end, during the awful wait while Aziraphale talks with The Metatron, Crowley cleans up the shop and tells Muriel that he and Aziraphale will need some “us” time after all this. No beating around the bush. 

Without oversight, they can be openly together and happy. But Heaven just can’t let that happen. 

[linipikk]

They really spent a lot of time pointing to the second coming for Apolaypse 2 electric boogaloo

all 3 minisodes are about ... humans dying and being brought back to life, or more like, how that is not possible...and how Heaven and Hell have worked around that

In A Companion to Owls, Job kids never died even when they should have, Heaven didn't know enough to distinguish that they were the same children and Sitis quickly got that the miracle was... that their children didn't die to begin with. Once they are dead it is game over and Crowley and Aziraphale refused to let them die

In The Resurrectionists (it is literally called The Resurrectionists!!) and it is how one girl is shot and they can't do anything once she is dead. And Crowley still goes off of his way to make sure the other one doesn't kill herself, risking everything. And we know hell's extreme sanctions are probably what makes him ask for insurance, for holy water. On the other hand, this episode is called The ResurrectionistS, plural, but we meet only one of them ..while in the other side of the sign is Christ himself.

THEN in 1941, we have ZOMBIES, the literal living dead walking around, and Furfur states that he can't make them living people again due to a clause and just leave them as zombies to roam the earth. We see how cursed they are, rotting and bound to eat brains but not human.

EVEN! From episode 1, we get a big Clue: miracles are measured in lazarii, and resurrecting someone is no easy feat. They were telling us to watch out about coming back to life... and how only the mightiest of archangels are able to use that amount of power (or an angel and a demon holding hands...)

and I do want to point out that part of the things Gabriel remembered was this line

Job kids didn't die, in victorian england Wee Morag died falling in the hands of a resurrectionist, and the Germans died and came back- just not quite alive. Every day it is getting closer,

... they are telling us that the second coming is afoot, but they are also showing us that there is no second opportunity on this earth. Once you are dead, you are dead.

and Crowley, in the direst time when Aziraphale is breaking his little demonic heart, says

And now, the plan to resurrect one human to make the end of the world happen is in Aziraphale's hands.

[thewomanwhoboughttheworld]

Michael, at some point: Fuck demons

Aziraphale and Gabriel, sweating profusely and looking at each other: yeah, fuck demons...

Master post: here

[snek-eyes]

(insp)

[bluecloudsandwhitesky]

Ok so the ONE thing I will give Crowley a little bit of shit for ( and even then I’m so sorry bbg but just listen) is the “ no nightingales” line.

Cuz that was so unnecessarily cruel?? Like at this point they’d already broken each other’s hearts. This is before his last hurrah to communicate via smooch. So like just why?? Why throw that in his face? Your song? The symbol of your love? Yeah it smushed our hearts but it cut Aziraphale deeper than all of us combined. Look at his face after Crowley says this. He’s not just hurt. He’s angry. He’s pissed that not only has he been rejected ( his POV) but now Crowley is just kicking salt in the wound. I think this is the only time on their whole entire history Crowley has truly and willfully been cruel to his angel. Which like.. Crowley you dumbass! You can’t just say the worst possible thing to the person you love most in the universe and then kiss him!! On what planet was that going to work?!?!

[abzania]

I want to point out that Aziraphale tries to stay. His first response to the Metatron's offer is, "I don't want to go back to Heaven."

I feel like people think he's going into this somewhat enthusiastically, but that's just not true. You can see the weight of his actions on his face, especially on the elevator at the end. He's not as ignorant or naive as people think. He's just in too deep.

He tries to say he doesn't want to go. That he's made a mistake (right before they leave, he says, "I think I--"), but he cuts himself off. I think this is because of two reasons.

Aziraphale is too scared to say no to an angel who outranks him (both because of who he's talking to, and his overall behavior when talking with other angels). Speaking to the Metatron is literally tantamount to speaking to God. Aziraphale is fully aware of this. He doesn't want to say no. Both out of fear, and because now, he has to save the world again.

He has it in his head that he has to fix Heaven. Not for the world, the other angels, or even for himself, but for Crowley. Even though Crowley said no and rejected him, Aziraphale doesn't know the real reason. He probably thinks that if things change, Crowley will be willing to join him again. But it isn't Heaven or Crowley that really stops Crowley from joining him. It's what already happened. Coming back to Heaven wouldn't erase God's mistake. It would only cover it up. This is what Aziraphale needs to learn. As well as the story of Crowley's fall and what it truly did to him.

But I don't think he really wanted to go. I think he knows exactly what this means, and I think the implications will be very interesting to see when season 3 comes out.

[ineffableteeth]

At least he has his plants

[bookshopbentley]

“ crowley’s gonna be so pathetic and sad in s3 blah blah blah “ no you guys don’t understand he has NOTHING to lose . the one thing that meant anything to him is GONE . let me see him even more unhinged

[everysongineverykey]

as part of the getting-worse-before-it-gets-better portion of aziraphale and crowley's season 3 relationship arc we NEED a desperate "i love you" from aziraphale met with a hissed, spiteful, and quickly regretted "i forgive you" from crowley

[alaynestone]

you're an angel, i'm a dog or you're a dog and i'm your man you believe me like a god i destroy you like i am