#dnd rant

[thehomelybrewster]

Natural 1s & When to Call For An Ability Check

Inspired by recent discussions about the "ethics" of save scumming in Baldur's Gate 3 and that game's decision to treat 1s as automatic failures and 20s as automatic successes both for saving throws and ability checks, I wanted to give my two cents.

This generally applies to all systems that use a DnD-style for these sorts of mechanics, where you roll a single die by default and add a relevant modifier to it, but I'll use DnD-centric language because of obvious reasons.

Now naturally in 5e that rule which is applied in BG3 does not exist. It was proposed as a rules change for the 2024 revision before being scrapped, yet I also know that plenty of tables run with this house rule and several DnD-inspired games have it baked in as a regular rule.

I generally don't like it, especially the automatic failure by rolling a Natural 1 part. Of course success and failure are relative. The typical example for this is the royal audience scenario, where a player character makes an outragous demand of the monarch, rolls Persuasion, and rolls a Natural 20 and expects that request to be granted, even if it's something ludicrous such as being made the official heir to the throne.

If I was playing a game that used this type of rule or had to DM for a table that expected it, I'd treat Natural 20s for impossible ability checks as an avoidance of negative consequences rather than as an opportunity for a reward. In the aforementioned scenario, the monarch wouldn't immediately try to arrest the daring adventurer for treason, for example.

Still, I'd normally treat this sort of attempt as an unprompted roll and a joke, ignoring it completely, because as a DM you have enough control over the table that you can determine that a roll shouldn't take place. After all, would you respect a player that attempts an unprompted melee attack roll when the next other creature is outside of that character's regular movement speed?

With failures coming from a Natural 1 however there are different ways you have to handle them. Personally, with ability checks in particular, I'd handle a table that requests or requires that rule the following way: if the player character attempts a check with a DC that's equal to or lower than their modifier for that ability check, no roll is required.

If the bard has a +11 to Acrobatics checks, they will always (!) dodge out of the way of a DC 10 trap. A rogue who has reached the point where they get access to Reliable Talent will always handle ability checks with skills they're proficient in perfectly if the DC is 10 or lower. No roll required. Failing those rolls goes against the choices the player made when building these characters over time.

Now with saving throws, I love this rule! Giving a barbarian with an Intelligence score of 10 that five percent chance to see through the DC 22 illusion feels good! Same with the rogue having that five percent chance to not fully evade the effects of that fireball spell a goblin is getting out of a stolen wand.

But with ability checks... Consider when to call for a roll, what a failure means, and what a success means before you implement this house rule.

[charonarp]

You know what I'm surprised about? (this is D&D related, so if not interested, you can ignore :p)

Also, like...I talk about functions in Curse of Strahd and Tomb of Annihilation, sooo....yeah. No want spoils? You no read.

I'm honestly surprised that, when a character dies, the players aren't offered a choice on if they want to switch or not. Like, if they die, it's always "oop, you died, oh well. Make a new character", or whatever.

Personally, I don't like that very much. My reason being is that...well, players tend to like their characters! You can add so much depth and plot to a character if they have to go through some strange experience before coming back from the dead.

Tomb of Annihilation, for instance. That game is centered AROUND death, and people avoid it because of how challenging it is and the fact that once you're dead, you're dead. No magic can bring you back. Well...that place has an actually curse that, if you died before, you begin to rot. That can introduce a REAL CHARACTER CHANGE, but people tend to take that one rule so literally, that it drives people away...

Honestly, Curse of Strahd and Tomb of Annihilation, in my honest opinion, are very good settings to take this custom function and twist it into something horrific. I may have only DM'd once or twice, but if a player loves their character, and their death makes them sad, at least give them the choice of either moving on with a new PC, or to continue their own. That way there's no waste on potential story lines and gives you the chance to make things more dire for your players.

In Curse of Strahd, it's easier to do this because souls can't leave that place. So, the party could do a whole side thing to try to get their companion back to life, or the player could go through some type of ordeal with the devil Strahd himself, or some other entity that lurks within the mist of Barovia.

Tomb of Annihilation is tricky, and I've personally never got to play it myself. I've been wanting to play this game for YEARS (I want that damn ring so badly), but everyone refuses to DM or play that game because it's "difficult", and "dungeon crawly". The thing is, because that game is complex, people tend to not think about taking things into their own hands and changing it to their liking.

I think the main reason it's so complicated is because players (normally) start at LEVEL ONE, which is a fucking death wish ngl, and the setting is very tough on its players (as far as I'm aware), and it's stated that you can't bring people back from the dead. Well...why not change that up a bit? Perhaps magic can't bring them back, but something else could? You make a deal, you find some other source to bring them back, something that could work should that player want to keep going. Being revived from the dead already has its consequences in that setting, so I personally don't see any harm in this alternative.

Again, I've never played the setting. The curse only really works if the character is dead-dead, not knocked down making death saving throws and brought back before some final failure.

These are my personal thoughts on the function of death in games, and it's not just limited to these two settings. I'm a newbie DM, and this is honestly how I'd like to work with my players should one die in some manner, especially at lower levels. Just because they died doesn't mean they can't contribute in some way. Maybe, while the party works to bring them back, that one player is able to find some things that were otherwise blind to mortal lives, or they're able to still be with the party, just unable to interact with the physical world.

If a player loves their character, and wants to keep playing them, you shouldn't have to punish that player just because "it's part of the rules". DMs are storytellers, and you can make your own rules. It's stated in the playbook that rules are not absolute, but are guidelines, and I think that gets forgotten a lot by many DMs for various settings.

Sorry for the ramble, I just had a sudden longing to play ToA and got reminded as to why people I've asked to play it with have refused in the past. Honestly, it's the same reason people in the past have refused to DM CoS too! All because it's "too difficult".

Honestly, sounds like a personal issue to me, but I can understand if someone is intimidated by something that, by book, is complicated to mess with.

But hopefully...hopefully I'll get that beloved cursed ring...I love that thing so much-

[fallenoftheromaempire]

Some dnd pet pieve because i feel like a hater tonight so what about it?

Players Petpeeve:

People that make character that don't fit the world/vibe of the campaign as a joke ( the classic "I'm playing a goblin named fart ahah" and it's a gothic campaign.)

People that show up to the first session without even having finished their character sheet/backstory(ofc this doesn't apply on session 0)

People that are obsessed with mechanics and nothing else

People that build their character to be as op as possible (and sometimes don't even discuss it with the dm just using hombrew without permission)

People that constantly contest the dm, like shut the fuck up (I'm not a dm btw)

People that put 0 effort in their character back story/development and are barely present in rp and only come alive during combat. Like go play a videogame or something.

People that make everything sexual. Not like the bard that flirt with everyone, like they constantly make gross comments about other characters or npcs.

People that call off last second without warning. Like if ther is even the smallest chance that i won't make It I'm warning everyone days in advance. Be respectful of other's time. (unless is an emergency)

Players that use ai generated images for their characters fc. Fuck you.

People that make their character do fuck all or go out of their way to make the stupidest decisions possible making everything harder for everyone else. I hate you so much.

People that keep talking about their character and their back story (this simply because i want to learn about the character in game and properly react to it without having previous knowledge. I just think it makes things more engaging)

DMs Petpeeve:

Dms that like the sound of their voice a little too much and launch in these long ass monolohues or cut of players as they are speaking but get mad if they get cut off. I love a monolog but dude it's been 15 minutes wrap it up

Dms that cancel last second without warning

Dms that invite people to join without asking the rest of the party first. (especially if we are like deep in the campaign, like we don't need more players)

Dms that act like it's them a against you and just look forward to cause pain for your character (good for character development but like please slow down it's overwhelming)

Dms that keep around that one toxic player instead of kicking him out the table despite fighting with them all the time.

Dms that when they are the player, constantly protest "That's not how i do it" yeah well, this is not your campaign nor your table. Get used to it and adapt.

Dms that allow all the above players mentioned. Like i wish they told them no.

Dms that keep no safety measures or safewords and don't stop even when the players speak up about how they are uncomfortable

Dms that spend an entire hour talking about their business. And i don't mean having a conversation, like i mean they just talk about themselves without ever asking you how you are doing for a whole hour while you just want to play. Like man I'm happy to listen but at least choose a better moment. I'm not in the head space for this and clearly neither are you.

Dms that waste a lot of time looking for the perfect image to use for npc. Like just describe it.

On that note, dms that use ai images. Fuck you.

What are your pet pieve? Let me know in the tags or notes

[byyliss]

Currently am crying a lot bc og somthing thats happening in my dnd campaing.

So, I play a character named Gin, shes a goblin who due to her backstory, can be very naive and oblivious, which in turn makes her more childish. Shes very similar to me, i always have a hard time playing charcaters that are too different from myself, so they are usually more silly and innocent inconciously. Im also autistic, and many traits i have end up in Gin by accident, but i try to accomodate that to her backstory.

And since the begining, two of the party members have been very rude to my character (one more than the other), they are always insulting her, being rude, and recently just said that the enemy from my backstory wasnt as important as other ones (we found out the place Gin is from, which is a slave circus, is still active, and I wanted to focus on it more now since most of the missions have been focusing on evryone else's backstory). I know its a chacrater, and i know they are just roleplaying, but that shit hurts. A lot. Bc some of her decisions come from me as a player, bc we both think alike, so it hurts a lot and i feel insulted whenever they rltreat my character like shit.

Today the DM told me these two players dont like my character and are annoyed by her, and i need to change bc they get annoyed while playing. And while my charcater can be a bit annoying, jfc you dont see me shit talking their charcaters, even tho both of them persoanlly hurt me a lot.

Like, they are making the game unbearable for me, bc it feels like Gin cant express any opinions or do anything other that be useful on combat. They made a bunch of jokes as their charcaters that hurt, but then they want to act as if im the problem?

Im currently crying a lot and have a headache over this. Sorry for the rant, im just....idk, i just needed to vent

[prismolovesfanfiction]

gnomes love to mimic human's accents bc they find the variety fun

[100jewels-between-teeth]

I've come to realise something

I have the absolute worst luck with dnd games as of late.

Over 10+ years of playing the game, and I've left 4 games due to drama only in the last 2....

I just wanted to cook a succulent Chinese meal 😭

[geekwiththegoggles]

Last second trying to figure out how to start the new campaign because HOLY CRAP IT'S FINALLY TIME TO START THE NEW CAMPAIGN

Meant to do some searching and reading up on stuff while on my trip but that SURE didn't happen. Welp. Another wing-it intro it is!

Also unrelated but I'm on Cohost now, too so uh. I'll start posting stuff there eventually.

[nerrissadevampyre]

i still can't believe i started teaching myself DnD, gathered an entire party, made a gc, another friend made a Discord server for our future sessions, crafted 4 plotlines for one-shots and made a deal with a bestie to teach me the handles of the ps4 and ps5 she's going to get JUST bc i got obsessed with Baldur's Gate 3 and that damned pasty vampire elf that's weirdly a lot like me but like all my terrible aspects magnified sevenfold like a mark of Cain or smth

[verypinkcat]

Friend: hey! I made this new DND character Me: oh sweet i can whip up a quick One-shot to just test them out. NOT EVEN 20 MINUTES LATER Me: SO! I made a general plot outline for a whole campaign, i got the big bad, plus his motivations, i got the factions, and some other characters. should i make a map? too late, i'm already making a map. god ny BRAIN is exploding

[randomblipinspace]

not gonna lie, I'm kinda scared of our next DnD session, because we really done fucked up.

our changeling rogue has been manipulated by the villain this entire time into falling for him and sleeping with him, so he had heirs to soul transfer into when the time comes, and now we found out he modify memoried and dominated both our lovable goliath bodyguard AND my cleric's girlfriend (she's not gonna be happy about being tied up, lmao)

our artificer dispelled the domination but now the villain knows that we know he's the villain and we're so majorly Fucked. and we can't get rid of the philactery/ring he put on the rogue's finger cause then she'll die, I'm crying, we put her through so much pain just to identify it.

I hate our DM. I really do.

[thehomelybrewster]

In the next few months I won't have to occupy much time anymore thinking about the "One D&D" playtest...

I'm no longer invested, WotC seems intent on throwing out most of the ideas they've been having. Fifth Edition has stagnated. Their recent book releases have been mediocre at best, now the playtest seems to have been a waste of time.

Every little positive step WotC has been making with the game as part of the playtest process and with their image campaign since the OGL fiasco has been followed by several steps backwards in terms of game design.

I'm done investing as much as energy as I have thus far in that process. The playtest also resulted in me making less homebrew because I wanted to see if I could adjust it to the redesign, but with the constant flip-flopping... I just wasn't inspired.

I'll let D&D rest for now. Maybe I'll come back to it, and I'll keep taking glances at what's going on with the game.

But in terms of playing TTRPGs, I'll stick with other systems for now, and in terms of creative projects within the hobby, I'll look more at game design at-large.

[st4rving4rt1st]

Love actually being upset after a friend gets aggressively anti-character like calm down jfc

Did I agree with Caleb letting Trent live? No.

Do ppl joke that him and Beau became cops? Yeah.

Does Caleb making Trent rot in a cell unable to speak or use magic alone make him a nazi sympathizer? N O.

Little personal opinion below

I was already taken back by the sudden anger so I was kinda uneasy mentioning that hey, Caleb's whole goal end game is to dismantle the Assembly and reform the entire system so that his home doesn't have to go through a violent revolution. He actively becomes a teacher in the very place that hurt him so he can protect students and also instill ethics and empathy into future students. The Cobalt Soul's entire thing is rooting out corruption???

Like my god dude pls calm down

A character stepping into the pit of vipers to try and dismantle the tangled knot of abuse that hurt them does not make them vipers themselves.

Idk I'm pretty dumb for being hurt by it but it just came off as "This is what I think of this character and if you like them or defend this action you are also a nazi" and idk if that's how they wanted it to come off? But it did.

Anyways I love Caleb Widogast, his story is very important to me, and even if I agree that taking the life of his abuser would have been more satisfying I also understand and respect the decision made and find it incredibly brave to go back into the very institute that took everything from you just to try and dismantle it and then build it back up with something better and safer.

[lavenderlhymes]

it all happened so fast

our delicate dance

one in which I could not afford to stumble

could not afford to reserve any of the

schemes I had hidden up my sleeves

in the blink of an eye

i brought this god of war and trickery

to his knees before me

with a graze of my fist

his chest caved in all cascading sand

as red as though he was crafted from

martian soil and raging tempest

now I’m flexing my fingers

standing center stage

no longer just a small mortal creature

too resourceful for her own good

surrounded by a crowd

screaming my name in waves of elation

I had a mission but

where does this newfound power leave

me in the grand scheme of everything

I believed this place to be godless

there are gods here but they have fallen

so far from their mantles in the stars

placed directly in my path by

the galactic hand that pulls the strings

they’re wrapped up in from afar

to grant me a boon?

to test my strength?

all of the answers are lying in wait

—april 17. martian // @nosebleedclub

[kosi-annec]

Oh god, the greatest enemy of dnd campaigns...

Schedules

[richardsphere]

DND DM TIP: Variant Rule Disclosure

If you're DM-ing a campaign, remember it doesnt matter if its in the DMG. Variant rules need to be disclosed in session 0 if you intend to use them in the game. If you forget that Feats are a variant rule, thats fine, most people understand them and at least this variant rule is also in the PHB. But if you spring indefinite fucking madness on players without telling them its even a risk they face in your campaign you can eat my ass.

This is also about strategic things like "hey players, im gonna use the generic item rules". So that players know you can just use shatter to break a wall for an escape. As well as "The Disarm action exists" so a non-battlemaster can strategically disarm an enemy.

Telling your players about the variant rules you intend to use means they're informed of the risks AND aware of the tools they have available.

Heck, it doesnt even have to be a variant rule. If its exclusively in the DMG and not in the PHB (IE: Identify doesnt show curses. Copying Spell Scrolls into a spellbook requires an Arcana Check) you need to tell your players if it is remotely relevant to the campaign. Because players dont read the DMG (hence the name) --- Sorry if this is more angry then my usual posts but i am PISSED at my DM, who just kicked me out of a game for venting my frustrations on not being warned of a rarely-used variant rule that completely rewrote my characters personality without even a saving throw against it.

Indefinite madness is worse then death as conditions go. If my character dies, i roll up a new character of my choice with a personality and backstory I decide for myself If my character suffers madness-induced loss of their fundamental identity (IE: "I'm a humble, self-deprecating druid", Roll a 60 on the Indefinite table "i am the greatest, smartest, bestest and mary-est of sues"), I am forced to roleplay a new character determined entirely by a random diceroll. A new character which may be entirely at odds with anything and everything that I find fun to play in a TTRPG.

And indefinite madness can only be cured by a 5th level spell. That means, if you get it at a low level you are stuck until your party gets a 9th level caster. --- Just because its in the DMG, doesnt give you the right to suprise your players with it.

[verosvault]

My Struggles with D&D

‼️This is gonna be a LONG POST‼️

This is a rant about my struggles with D&D and while it is my favorite game. I oftentimes will struggle with playing it. (I am one of those rare people that usually loves to WATCH D&D rather than PLAY it 💀💀) Read more:

So...Just to put some context for right now. I am currently in 2 different D&D campaigns. There's 1 campaign which I play on Sundays. That's my free campaign game that I'm in with some friends I made through a different friend. Friends of a friend basically.

My 2nd game is a paid game that I'm in that I play through StartPlaying. It's a Curse of Strahd Game. :)

Both of these campaigns I'm in are both with the D&D 5E system!

I'm going to organize this blog as best as I can...here we go...

1. Being the Notetaker of the group

I am the Number 1 Notetaker in both campaigns...and...I take EXTREMELY EXTENSIVE notes! I-

Just for a little bit more context. In both of those campaigns. The character that I'm playing is a cleric detective. My Free game, I play a Death Domain Cleric Tiefling Detective. In my Paid game, I play a Grave Domain Cleric Satyr Detective.

I joined my Free game in February of this year. I joined the Paid game in April. The gap between my entry of both of the games were really close, and I kinda just- I really like-

Let me go backwards a little bit. The main inspiration for me when playing D&D is Riz Gukgak from Dimension20 Fantasy High. I just LOVE RIZ! Also, the character background "investigator" from Van Richten's is my favorite character background! My favorite stats in D&D to be proficient in are "Perception", "Insight", and "Investigation". If I'm proficient in those 3 things, then I'll be the happiest person ever to exist. :') So...Yeah...It's...That's just who I am and what I like.

What doesmthis have to do with me being the note taker?

Well...one of the biggest fears I have when playing D&D is "WHAT IF I MISS SOMETHING?!"

I'm ALWAYS scared that I'm going to miss stuff. I want to- When I play, I want to go through every single thing that I'm possibly able to find! I don't wanna- like- The Dungeon Master made this whole place for us to explore and I MUST uncover EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY of this place! I don't wanna leave ANY place unsearched and undiscovered! I am like-

So...What I do is I take a TON OF NOTES that I can always look back at to see if there was anything that I may have missed. Or anything that I can just go back to look over and read and be like "I need to bring this up later" or something like that. Basic things like that.

Now...the bad thing about me being a notetaker is I get SO occupied on taking notes, that I'm not really IN IT? If that makes any sense?

It's not that I'm NOT Having fun! Because I'M HAVING A BLAST! But...I get so wrapped up in my extensive note taking that I'm like---My character just fades into the background and usually just stays there until someone interacts with her? I don't really bring my character up to the forefront? It's just like-...My character is just there???

2. My MILD OCD and Anxiety

I am an EXTREMELY ANXIOUS person! ESPECIALLY playing D&D! As well as taking notes! I'm mild OCD. So I want SO MUCH things in my notes...and I'm also really anxious. Sometimes the players will be roleplaying and me as my character is always like "hey guys...we got this weird key...it should go somewhere...like- we should figure this out-" and it's like- the DM later on describes that the key goes to the front door of the house that we've been locked inside of.

The thing is...in earlier sessions when we came across this house, we didn't need a key to open it. The door opened on its own by itself. So, me- i was like "this key we just came across must lead to some really important chest"...nope! It was the key to the front door! I was like...I was wracking my brain because nobody seemed to be caring about the key and I'm there just sitting being like "How are we going to find the chest? This house is so big and we just went through all 3 floors and the cellar. Do we need to go back and traverse this scary house to try to find this chest that this key will fit inside?"...like...I sometimes forget that the DM is there and they're not going to always screw us over like that...💀💀

But I ALWAYS get scared about that type of stuff! It's almost like my OCD and Anxiety prevents me from ACTUALLY being IMMERSED AND PLAYING THE FREAKING GAME! It's- Ahhhh! I just end up overthinking everything. Taking notes on everything. Being scared about missing stuff. Being scared about where to go next. Being scared about potentially getting screwed over by future things down the road if we don't do certain stuff now. Like- Ahhhh! I honestly don't understand how people will play this game and not go absolutely insane with all the things there is to think about. XD

I feel like when I'm playing, I just end up getting DM BRAIN SYNDROME! And I'VE NEVER BEEN A DM BEFORE! But I feel like I end up worrying about ALL the stuff that the DM should be worrying about! NOT ME! XD LOL!!

3. Social Anxiety with Roleplay (Do I actually know my character?)

I have another fear. That is social anxiety, roleplay, and if I actually TRULY KNOW MY CHARACTER! I'm MAINLY talking about my paid game for all of these scenarios I've been talking about. My paid game is where I've been struggling the absolute most.

I feel like...Now...I haven't been playing this game for a long time. I started playing like...FREQUENTLY...JUST this year! My New Years Resolution for 2023 was to join a D&D campaign! And I have done exactly that! But like- Again...I haven't been playing for a long time. Some of the D&D stuff I'm not used to.

I'm also NOT A THEATER KID! So...I have quite some struggles with roleplaying and not being embarrassed sometimes about doing it! I always feel weird or OFF when talking and doing things in character. But I think that might partially be due to me feeling like "maybe I don't understand my character. Maybe this isn't what my character would do." And I'm constantly getting these thoughts. I feel like it's imposter syndrome but in D&D and for my freaking character.

My character in my Curse of Strahd campaign. She's a Satyr detective named "Yona". Her parents went missing at a young age. Later on, she's studying at a Faerun detective agency. In the campaign, the actual term we use for detective is actually "pathfinder". So..yeah..Faerun Pathfinder Agency and my character has a badge and all that. Anywho, she misses her first day of class due to her feeling unwell and her classmates and her professor all go to Barovia and end up getting lost in the mist. So not only has she lost her parents, but she's also lost her classmates and her professor. One of her classmates being a close older friend of hers named Opal. They had a little argument the last time she saw Opal because Opal had told her to give up on trying to find her parents after being so supportive about Yona never giving up on trying to find them beforehand.

Anyways, we've had over 20 sessions in this campaign and we haven't heard a lot about the pathfinders in Barovia. They're a very hidden organization of people and talking about pathfinders here is exceptionally very dangerous because they're being hunted down. So...my character hasn't been able to go around and ask people willy nilly if they have seen any pathfinders around or that she's even a pathfinder herself because she's worried and me out-of-character would be very nervous to find my character in a tricky situation due to her having a big mouth, and I feel like if Yona (my character) knew that it was a dangerous word to spread around, she'd be smart enough to hush up about it, and that goes along with her hiding her pathfinder badge ever since she heard that it was dangerous for people to know.

But like- we haven't heard much else. There has been no trace of her students or her parents. One of the party members, the party bard asked a shop owner if they'd seen any pathfinders around and that shop owner claimed to have seen a couple of satyrs a couple of days ago. So...we've heard LITTLE info...but nothing super significant yet.

But it's like- at some moments, I feel like my character doesn't have much to do and that she's just been along for the ride?

It's also been established from how little my character speaks and her anxiety of speaking to others that my character herself has social anxiety. Like- that is an actual canon aspect to her character because of my small fear and unease with the whole roleplay concept. It's something I'm not fully used to yet and STILL! And we're in November! I started this campaign in April!

Umm...but yeah. I just...and then when we're playing...I just end up doing what myself would end up doing. Like...not the character...but me the player because I feel like me and my character go hand-in-hand? Like...I feel like other than backstory, me and my character are kind-of one-and-the-same??? Which makes it hard for me sometimes to make character choices because I don't fully know what is me and what is my character. I don't really know where the line is? I don't have any acting experience. Theater experience. I'm basically in this D&D campaign playing myself...because I don't even know how to BE or ACT as someone else??? I'm- It's hard...:')))

Like- I don't understand how people do it so easily :''')) and how they're not afraid about potentially making a fool of themselves. Which like- I'm not judgemental at all. I love seeing people playing and being in character but I guess I just struggle with seeing myself doing the same thing??? :""")))) I don't know how to explain it. :'''))))

4. This is my absolute favorite game but I feel like I suck at playing it

I LOVE this game SO BAD!!! SO MUCH!!! But I feel like I'm just GARBAGE AT IT!!! I don't talk much. I overworry about everything because ALL I want to do is BE helpful! That's why I also always play clerics! I want to HELP people! Like- Oh! You're down??! I have HEALS! TAKE 'EM!

Like I see more worth in the other players and characters than I do see for myself...which...I know that's the negative self-talk talking...but like...I feel like everyone else plays the game so much better than me and that I still haven't been able to get it yet?

I STILL HAVE FUN PLAYING! Even though I guess it IS in a MORE META context/way??? BUT I STILL HAVE A BLAST! I LOVE rolling perception and investigation and getting to gain some info about things! I LOVE seeing the lore! The lore drop sessions have by far been my favorite??? Like- YES! GIVE ME THE JUICY JUICY LORE!

But yeah...I don't know. I feel like I just suck at playing. It's-...

I don't fully know how to take myself out of doing the note taking.

I don't fully know how to make my character feel like I'm playing an actual character and flesh her out more. And I've been trying different stuff! I've been using the RPG Card deck with character and campaign questions and I have been uploading them to the discord where I have everyone else that I play with and I've been trying to use them to flesh out my character but I feel like it's still hard and that I still struggle sometimes.

I don't fully know how to play without being exceptionally anxious about everything.

Wanna know something dumb? I was playing in my free campaign and my character is a detective and I'M THE LITERAL NOTETAKER and I was focusing SO MUCH on NOTES that ANOTHER PARTY MEMBER LITERALLY UNDERSTOOD a REALLY OBVIOUS IMPORTANT DETAIL about an NPC that my character was talking to in the moment before I EVEN DID! I was- I felt so destroyed. I was like "wow--great. What kinda detective am I?" Like what?! I'm taking all these notes and I'm still slow at understanding and figuring out these gigantic big reveals! Like what- why?

But yeah-anyways

5. Feeling left-out

I am someone that usually ALWAYS feels left-out! In about every social situation I find myself in???

At work. With my parents. Just- Just anywhere. I'm usually always the person that will fade into the background.

This is why I don't like parties. I end up feeling 10 times more alone. I just always feel like I get tossed over to the side.

And you know what's even sadder? Is when I end up getting left out in a freaking game that I love and have a passion for. :')...But it is ABSOLUTELY what happens! AT LEAST in my paid game! I end up feeling left out.

Everyone is roleplaying and getting into their character and their emotions and I'm just there...feeling like I'm doing something wrong or that I'm not playing the same game that everyone else is?

Like- when I play D&D. I am that person that is there and all I want to do is push the story forward? It's like...Let's skip over all the mushy gushy or sad feeling depressy stuff...I wanna have the plot keep going?

Like...and I feel like the mushy gushy and sad feeling depressy stuff is so important sometimes but I feel like I'm just not good at it. :')

I justify it by saying that my character is a grave domain cleric. She doesn't have time to mourn the dead. She'll pray to her deity for people who have passed and died. But she won't cry and become an emotional mess over it. She understands death and feels like mourning over the dead will take up time that could be used for doing more productive things? I don't know...That's at least how I've justified it for my character but like- Idk

It's just...and I know it's BAD to compare ANY HOME D&D Game to ANY LIVE STREAM D&D Live-Play such as "Critical Role" or "Dimension20"! But I feel like everyone at those tables are always so much more involved. But maybe that's just them acting? I don't really know. But I feel like D&D should be a game where every character should get a moment of spotlight on them so that character can grow and blossom? But I feel like at least for my paid campaign...my character doesn't really get that spotlight? But..then again...I also don't ask for it??? I don't know.

It's just- I see all these people playing D&D and I can't help but feel like "Maybe there's something wrong that I'm doing or something that I'm not getting? Like- why am I not in the same world as everyone else even though we're playing the same game at the same time? You know? Again...I don't know. That's just my little rant. :')

If you read all of this, you're a cool person and I love you!

I don't really expect anyone to read this whole entire blog. I just felt like it was something that I desperately just wanted to share...because yesterday I had my paid d&d game, and I was feeling bad about it again and just having negative thoughts and feelings about how I was playing the game and whatnot. Even though it was an absolute blast and I loved playing it and I'm so glad that I get to be around this group of people at this wonderful, cool table! Sometimes I just feel like there's something wrong with me. 🥴🥴 But...ya know- I don't really know 🥴🥴🥴

If you read this and you know of any tips or even struggle with some of this yourself. I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts out in the comments or if you wanna straight up reblog it! I LOVE hearing other people's thoughts and opinions and I've just been struggling with this for a long while. 🥴🥴🥴 I almost feel bad about feeling like this...but it's the truth and I don't wanna lie to myself about it.

But yeah! I'd love to hear any of your opinions and stories if you have any!! Hehe!! Thanks for reading!! I hope y'all have an absolute fantastic, and spectacular day!! 🥲🥲❤️❤️