#do i tag this as theory? sure why not what the heck.

[b1adie]

regardless of whatever canon turns out to be, i really enjoy the idea that both robin and firefly approached gallagher and asked him to get his weird creature to kill them in front of someone else. he’s not sure why they know about it, or why they want that, but he’s fascinated that TWO women approached him in one day asking him to sic his fucked up dog on them.

firefly: hey. see that person with the grey hair over there? the one i was just on a date with? i need you to summon the beast and have it brutally murder me in front of them. like, really brutal. make it look like it hurts. maybe toss my fatally injured body at them afterwards. can you do that for me?

gallagher: (thinking of how robin asked him to do pretty much the same thing like 6 hours ago) you kids these days sure have some weird hobbies. sure what the heck why not

[bobbinlacebliss]

Finished project: Rosemary

I was scrolling through my own blog today (as one does) and realized I never did a proper round-up post for Rosemary. So this is a bit of a retrospective I suppose! Click through for my notes on the project if you're interested - otherwise, I hope you like the pictures!

This is certainly one of my favorite pieces that I've done. I think it really turned out beautifully! But, it also stands out in my mind for having a foul, foul, truly foul number of broken threads that had to be replaced in the middle of the work. I think at least 6? The ideal number of course being zero. At the time, this sucked. I had no idea what I was doing - you can see in one of the pictures that I was referencing three different books at one point trying to figure out how the heck to fix the dang things. But in hindsight, it was valuable experience! I got a lot of practice splicing in new threads, and I also stopped being so afraid of it happening. (Though of course one still likes to avoid it...)

I am not sure why so many threads decided to part company with their fellows, but I have some theories. I'm fairly sure it's not because of putting too much tension on the thread, because it didn't snap under pressure so much as just kinda fray and drift apart. My prime suspect is the bobbins - something about this style of bobbin makes it really hard (for me, at least) to prevent them rolling wildly all over the pillow during the work, which runs the risk of untwisting the thread. This is very sad for me because I love these bobbins. But I haven't given up hope that I can still make them work. They seem to roll less on my box pillow, so maybe they can just be reserved for that pillow. Also, I'm on that "it was a bad batch of thread" copium 😅

This was also the first time I tried mounting the finished lace onto fabric, which I was very worried about screwing up but it wound up not being so bad! Sewing is definitely not my strong suit, but I got through it and am pleased with the result.

Technical Notes

Pattern: "Rosemary" from A Visual Introduction to Bucks Point Lace by Geraldine Stott

Thread: Egyptian cotton 80/2 in bright white

Gimps: 8 ply of the base thread

Pins: .5 mm pins for the picots and motifs; .8mm pins for the ground and footside

Picots: 5 twists

Started: September 14, 2020

Completed: August 11, 2021

(If you've made it this far and you somehow haven't heard enough about this project, you can check out the "rosemary" tag on my blog to see my other posts about it.)

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 9

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

I feel so weird sitting here in the morning reading this, this has been my night-time routine for 8 chapters!

In all honesty the fic I was reading this morning just wasn't it/my brain kept coming back to my boy Shen Qingqiu, so here I am 8am on a Sunday heading into the Borderlands.

My teas are for evening- so this morning, hazelnut coffee!

ah, okay, intro to this chapter. I have been wondering how the afterlife works in this series. I hope we find out more than "the border of human and demons realms" p167

JK lol this is a physical place and not an afterlife p168

oh gosh, this is quite a mess! (Re: the political upheaval within the Cang Qiong Mountain sect as well as vs others) I kind of want to know what the side quest Shang Qinghua went on in the demon realm. p169

Oh baby Luo Binghe keeping Shen Qingqiu's corpse :( p169

okay but he also took Mo Qingfang with him so maybe they were trying to figure out a way to bring Shen Qngqiu back? p170

I would have loved to be privy to the Tea that Lu Liu was about to spill about his theories of Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu ahaha but instead we got a knock on the door interrupting p171

who is this newcomer??? Wait who's the second one?? The anticipation!! pp172-173

wait. "what year is it?" New character or??? p174

I fucking cant. Yes it is Shen Qinqgiu. but also the dramatic flair is too much RE: "faking your death is overdone, I must therefore actually die :)" p174

omg SQQ had a backup body made from the mushrooms! This is so wild. This was definitely Shang Qinghua's side quest for sure. p175

omg I can't stop laughing. What is with MXTX killing the leads and then twinkifying their new bodies. p176

it's been FIVE YEARS?!?!?!?!? p177. Oh damn, bless that he has an abundance of spiritual energy now!

He really told them his name was peerless cucumber- oh my. p178. Can we talk about how they then immediately stated he was a bottom with the Peerless "chrysanthemum, crown, flower.."p178

The hypocrite lol "It is wrong for you to profit from their misfortune" after he literally stole all the clothes on his back and a fancy fan for fun (and cultivating, but let's be real mostly fun). p180

why does everything just come back to SQQ just fantasizing about Luo Binghe's dick? We went from SQQ ranting about demon naming conventions to what he would call Luo Binghe's actual dick LOL p181

HEAVENLY PILLAR-JUN - pls end me XD stooop. p182

Meanwhile we have these demons sweating because they think this man is incredibly powerful and very unstable as SQQ laughs maniacally then slaps himself. p182 I really don't think they are wrong TBH.

oh no! I need to now what Liu Mingyan has been doing in the badlands! p184

but also SQQ assuming that Liu Mingyan is Luo BInghe's wife.

OOOOOO Sha Hualing is back! p185 I like love her as a villain, but hate her as a character. She's in a weird place for me, but I appreciate her LOL

Who the heck is this youth? p186

Jesus christ. the fact that in this moment SQQ hates Sha Hualing's nails- not because there is a kid about to get slice and diced, but because in the novel she uses them to tear up Luo BInghe's back when they fuck. I cannot with this man *face palm* p187

okay we have a name for this young master- Yang Yixuan, and this little baby is Liu Qingge's disciple! p188

learning about how Luo Binghe's cultivation works with his need to basically dual cultivate to level himself out has me officially believing that the system basically allowed SQQ to build the ideal body for Luo Binghe. he definitely has the excess spiritual power LOL p190

This interaction with Sha Hualing and Liu Mingyan tho...I really love Liu Mingyan! Wait- oh no! Not her clawing her face!!! p194

okay she did not get her face clawed

Well, my theory about SQQ building the perfect bod has more merit with the nuns now out of the picture. p197

Holy shit. he actually is strong enough to break through immortal binding cables!! p199

NOW he notices the script change LOL p201 "Shen Qingqiu had certainly never planned to fill in the gap they left behind himself. He had that old feeling of having accidentally picked up the wrong script- it made him vaguely suspicious that the scam of a System was still around"

Dang! he broke the net too! p201

and we have a small appearance by Luo Binghe!!!

Yay! I am so excited i've missed the system, glad it's back. even though it seems kind of broken lol p203

Well "peerless xiangsheng" and "senior peerless" are certainly better than peerless cucumber LOL p205

oh my. Well I mean, he's not entirely wrong is he? Re: Lu Liu's epic tale of the tragic one-sided love between Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu. (and this is the Tea I wanted at the beginning of the chapter, I am so happy about it). pp206-207

oh my sweet summer child "Those details aren't the slightest bit reliable, okay? 'The Truth' your sister! Even if I had no girl to fondle for twenty years, no matter how wretched I became, I wouldn't get so desperate that I'd get gay with a guy! Let alone get gay with the male lead!" p212

This Chapter LOL

This was definitely a needed pick up after we had that wretched death. But now I am so curious! I need to know how this turns into their weird but epic love story. When do these two collide??? What happens next???? (do not answer any of these questions LOL no spoilers, but I am very excited to read on).

[lurkingshan]

Breaking Down the I Feel You Linger in the Air Finale

Okay pals, I got some sleep and I'm ready to dig into this finale and all its beautiful messiness. I love this show and I'm frankly a little frustrated that we got such an incomplete resolution to the (hopefully) first season when there was ample time to do it right. As ever, pacing and time and information management continue to be major weaknesses for Tee Bundit. As I said last week, the writing for this show has been undeniably messy but it's still holding together on the strength of the production and the performances and the success of some of its big themes and character arcs; that take held firm through the finale and some of the baffling choices made about where to spend our time in this final installment. So, let's dig into it!

The Long Goodbye

I'll say upfront that this is my biggest beef with the pacing of the finale. We spent all of last week on a long and painful goodbye for Yai and Jom, perfectly executed, but for some reason we did another 45 minutes of it this week, not so perfectly executed. While I loved the covering of the mirrors, the saddest sex scene ever (complete with sex moans running as the audio over a memory montage how dare you show!), and the pain of Yai realizing he drew the final picture and watching Jom disappear, we didn't need to retread them saying goodbye to each other over and over again for two entire hours of story time, and we didn't need a long, sappy, on the nose speech from Jom saying things we already knew. As I told @neuroticbookworm, this might be my aro showing but I found the series of repetitive emotional goodbye conversations and memory montages exhausting and not in a good way. If I were the script doctor, I would have kept the mirrors, sad sex, and Yai drawing as the start of the episode and cut the rest, moving much more quickly into the next phase of the story.

Back to the Future

Jom returning to his present day life, trying to cope with his anguish and loneliness and adjust back into things, and further investigating the time travel mystery to figure out a way to reconnect with Yai should have been the main narrative of this episode. Instead, we got a truncated version of it that didn't have time to breath because we'd used up so much time on the above mentioned retread. For my money, Jom's devastation upon finding Yai's letter to him was the most emotionally resonant moment of the finale and the first part of the episode where I almost cried. But we had barely sunk into that feeling before it was abruptly cut short because we were out of time and Tee needed to wrap this baby up.

Eyebrow Scar Yai

Here’s where I get actually kind of peeved, because this final (pre-credits) scene was so poorly set up and executed that to even call it a resolution is a stretch. A modern version of Yai walks into the room, asks Jom why he's crying, tells him he's been waiting for him, kisses him, and then the credits roll!

Now I've been in the tags so I know this caused confusion for anyone who has not read the novel (me too, fam!). And that's because the show had not bothered to establish:

That Yai does in fact have a modern doppelgänger

Who the heck that doppelgänger is and how he’s connected to 1928 Yai

How that doppelgänger would be able to remember Jom when no other doppelgängers in the story can remember their past lives

Based on what we know, could we piece together a reasonable theory about who this man is, how he got there, and the final pieces of the mythology that make sense of it? Sure. In fact, bookworm and I pretty much guessed exactly what the explanation for this was after watching the show, and many of the elements at play here were theorized in conversations we had last week. Book readers like @tipsyjaehyun have now confirmed the full explanation for anyone who cares to go read it.

But the show did not tell us any of this information. If you have to read the novel or have novel readers spoil you on aspects of the story that the show didn't bother to cover in order to understand the ending of the story, the execution has failed. And given the pacing notes above, there is really no reason we couldn't have gotten a better set up for this ending with Eyebrow Scar Yai (yes I know his name but no I'm not using it because the show didn't bother telling me; I am petty like that). Jom could have found this descendant during his time of processing and the ending could have hinged on us realizing this modern Yai is a reincarnation who has his past life memories intact; had we gone into a final kiss between them feeling grounded in all of that knowledge, it would have landed so much better.

Hello Commander

And now on to the post-credits scene, where Tee puts a plea into the universe to give him a second season so he can play around in another time period and explore what is evidently the origin of this soul tie between Jom and Yai. I chose to read this episode tag as separate from the actual season 1 narrative, and I think that was the intention given its placement. If they secure funding for a second season, this tag scene becomes the beginning of that next story, with Eyebrow Scar Yai's kiss sending Jom into another time travel adventure. If they don't we can just ignore it and pretend the pre-credits scene was the end (which is why I'm not happy it was so poorly done). I, for one, would love to see a second season to explore another time period and give Tee a chance to clean up some of this mess he has made of the mythology and season 1 resolution. Shouts to @clairedaring for reporting back from the live showing of the finale on what the possibilities are looking like there. Fingers crossed we get a continuation of this story some day!

Tagging in @waitmyturtles and @twig-tea who also have linked posts above. And shouts to @blmpff @cankersoregirl @pharawee @wanderlust-in-my-soul @italianpersonwithashippersheart @bengiyo @dragonsareawesome123 @wen-kexing-apologist @junghaesin @stuffnonsenseandotherthings @slayerkitty @respectthepetty @chickenstrangers @sunshinechay @btwinlines for posting about this show every week and making it such a fun watch despite having a small audience on here. It was a pleasure watching this with you all!

[separatist-apologist]

I once went to one of their inbox to tell them to please stop tagging elucien if their posts is just about bashing elriel and they basically told me to f*ck off and they can "do what they want" or whatever. I swear, these are the same little sh*ts that would complain about Elriels tagging elucien.

It's the fact that it's always the same 5 people that have literally no hobbies but complain about Elriels. They're lurking in the gwynriel tag too. They're covering the sweet content we're looking for with their bullshit posts.

"Look what these Elriels say-" NO I DON'T WANNA LOOK CAUSE I DON'T CARE! WHY ARE YOU STALKING THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE???

I don't want to see the hurtful stuff they say about Lucien and Elucien, nor do I care about their theories and Interpretation. I blocked the elriel tag and some elriels so that I won't have to see their posts. Heck, I'm avoiding acotar content on Tik tok and Twitter just so I won't see anything elriel and anti elucien related. If I wanted to see anti elriel content, I'd go to the anti elriel tag. It's that simple.

The thing is, I also tried to be more open to the Elriel ship. I'm very confident in Elucien, but should Elriel be endgame then I want to be okay with it. However, these little shits that constantly shove statements from toxic elriels to my face make it very difficult for me. It brings me back to "Elriels are so toxic" thoughts.

Sry for the long rant. It just angers me.

Babe, I once told people to stop taking the bait and they told me to get off my high horse so I feel you on that. Is it getting on a high horse to say that not everything on the internet is made in good faith and by answering obvious trolls...you give them the fight they want? Wow you sure showed them.

But at its core, LB said it best. It's not a bipartisan system and you actually can't tell anything about a person based on the ship they like. If some folks had any self awareness they'd realize they are literally no better than the people they claim to hate and for every one person hyping them up, 8 others feel discouraged and burned out from all the negativity. A fandom can't sustain itself on pure spite- you need people who passionately love the series enough to draw art, write fic, create headcanons etc etc, and to that end you have to let go of the utter boring obsession with what is and is not canon.

I took screenshots of that post, and one person said "the author wrote it that way for a reason???" and to that I'd say, she wrote enough to make elriel a very popular ship, too. Are we picking and choosing? Are we saying you're not allowed to ship something if it isn't canon? No more Neris, no Rhysta, no Casslain, no Azris? And who gets to decide what is and is not canon? Someone on that post was discussing what "true" eluciens are, which excludes me along with a vast swath of other people.

I didn't elect any of these people to decide what I was allowed to write about or commission art for- Like the cherry picking so people can be faux outraged and then take screenshots of one of the most popular artists in the fandom, with a VERY distinct style to create a victim narrative that allows them to feel good about bullying is just overdone and boring at this point.

Anyway, I'll always advocate for blocking people and creating spaces that feel good. And I'll continue saying that if you hate something that much, you should stop engaging with it. No one is ever going to change my mind about elucien, I'm confident in my choices and even if SJM doesn't go that direction, I'll still be writing elucien like idgaf. The constant looking each other up to talk shit reeks of insecurity and boredom. Couldn't be me.

[not-poignant]

Re: your tag about a lot of people finding Temsen unfair in the forthcoming chapter excerpt, just wanted to say that I'm one of the (hopefully not only) readers cheering him on and muttering 'fucking FINALLY' under my breath.

I've been reading all your stories because I find many of your characters compelling, but Ef in FFS and now UtB has been the one that is the hardest for me to get on board with because of the ratio of woobiefication to accountability. I'm not sure why - I had no problem reading August and Gwyn commiting flat out sexual assault on each other in Game Theory and still enjoying them. Maybe because that was a more clearly fantasy world, whereas this one pings on a lot of real world triggers and resonances.

No judgement on you or your storytelling choices - just sharing an alternative reader perspective. (Feel free to delete this ask if its not what you were looking for.)

Hi hi, tbh anon if you've been thinking 'fucking finally' after 222k of reading, you might just be...hate-reading at this point? Or annoyance-reading? And like, live your best life! But I don't think you're really going to get what you want out of this fic, because Efnisien's going back to being comforted a ton after the next chapter. Like, consecutive chapters of just Efnisien being woobified because I fucking love that trope so much.

I don't want an equal ratio of woobification to accountability, if that's what you're truly hanging out for, you're likely not going to find it in this fic if you haven't found it so far. I think you're just going to encounter an oasis or two among the constant annoyance. If that annoyance hits triggery, self-responsibility can also mean critically looking at whether or not engaging in a trigger that creates negative internal feedback is in any way productive or helpful for you. Like obviously you don't have to do any of that, but it can occasionally be useful to sort of ask yourself if it's worth repeatedly triggering yourself every Thursday (or whenever) for like over a year.

And while it's always cool hearing different perspectives (it really is! People are gonna hate Efnisien forever, they'll hate Gary forever, etc.), I'm not truly writing this story for folks who hate or are constantly aggravated by the fic, I'm writing it for the folks who really love a woobified Efnisien (hence the note in the chapter etc.). He's a comfort character to a lot of people, including me!

You might not be the only reader who feels this way, but I'd also place some money on the fact that a lot of those folks stopped reading a while back, because they just don't want to put themselves through 60+ chapters of misery and lack of enjoyment. Same with the folks who didn't want to read a dystopian omegaverse. Most people just bow out, and then wait for the next story, or go back to old stories, or just engage with other stuff instead and move on.

You don't have to get on board with this story at all! It's not an obligation or anything, you can read a story you actually really enjoy, that doesn't trigger you at all, and delivers a lot more of what you want to read! Not everything I write is going to work for folks, like, heck, I love Studio Ghibli and I still can't force myself to watch Porco Rosso again. Sometimes it's just like that, lol

[packagingcontainer]

Venting about Ishimiko (Kaguya-sama)

You know, I was writing this as a reply in reddit then I realized that they don't want to read this. I don't think anyone wants to read this (sorry for using the tag, but I also don't want to be yelling at an empty abyss either). As I was writing the reddit reply, I realized I finally put into words how I feel about Ishimiko in the Kaguya-sama love is war manga. And I literally have nowhere to share it, so I recreated my tumblr account.

Warning because there are massive Kaguya-sama spoilers and this is also not going to be a positive post at all. So if you read it and don't like it, you have only yourself to blame for reading it. -- I don't know.

If there's something I've learned from the short story and the new werewolf game novel, it's that I don't really want more Ishimiko. I don't want to see more explanations of what they think. I don't want to learn more about them. Frankly, I know more than enough. Sometimes I wonder if I know more about it than Aka.

I seriously just wanted them to close lips. Heck, hold hands or something. I just want some damn closure. He had a chance to do something like that with the time skip. Instead he wasted that flash forward in 276 by making the most incredibly ambiguous and frustrating flash forward chapter on existence.

And that's the greatest problem right now. 276 and 278. The Light Novel couldn't solve anything about Ishimiko , because it happens before 278, meaning that no matter what, 278 is going to Thanos snap whatever 'progress' was made during it. And 276 causes a similar problem, cause If he made a college Ishimiko continuation, it would have to be after 276. Because otherwise we still still ahve 276 smearing itself all over whatever we see from college Ishimiko before that point.

But on the other side of the coin. Having the interesting parts of the Ishimiko romance happen after college Ishimiko after 276 has the slight problem that it would be incredibly depressing. It's kinda funny and cute to see these characters wasting time for a couple of years. But 6+ years (high school + all the pre-276 college) would be so sad and honestly, really mean with the characters? Not even the rent a girlfriend guy is going to wait 6 whole years like that.

I guess my biases are showing here though. Because nowadays I am really feeling like I don't actually like College Ishimiko? I know it's fun in theory. But it's not really what I signed for. Maybe I would feel different if I going through 276 was worth it and it led to some form of closure. But nah, of course not. Because it would have been so hard for Aka Akasaka to give us even one speck of breadcrumb so near the end of the manga. I can't read Aka's mind so I don't know what he was thinking when writing 276, but I get such the vibe that it was just mean-spirited*.

And I think that's the problem I have overall. After 137, the manga + Short Story are so full of stuff that makes the ship more annoying and/or painful but there's never a reward that makes all those annoyances and pain worth it. I mean oh, how cool Ishigami almost killed himself and Miko broke her arm, but it's all worth it cause 226 chapters and a short story later we get to learn that Ishigami is transphobic. yay.

And the question is, after all of that, do I really want more of it? Probably not. This is probably why, the second I heard about that new light novel I automatically got defensive about it. I can only go through the annoyance -> pain -> no real reward cycle so many times before it's just tiresome. That's the best word I would use to describe Akasaka's writing overall. Tiresome.

*I know people really love 276. Specially HayaFuji shippers. But I think this chapter is the one that really broke me. And as a HayaFuji shipper, I can't help but notice that even the big win that 276 is supposed to be, Fuji looks like she's hating every single moment of it. And surely, that's not what's really going on. But it's an example of just how Aka forced himself to be as ambiguous and annoying and honestly cruel as possible in this chapter. The least-ambiguous thing about it is the Wedding rings, but it had to be so covert and stealthy that most people don't even notice. I've seen plenty of people tell others to go read Oshi No Ko chapter 90.1 for confirmation that Guya got married, because for some reason Aka couldn't be clear-enough about Kaguprez' status in their own manga. Again, it's just tiresome.

"Show don't tell" has its limits. Sometimes you really just have to show something. Anything at all. Unless exhausting your audience is part of your goals, I guess.

[hopeless-nostalgiac]

Find the Word Tag

Rules:  It's simple, see if the words exist somewhere in your writing and  share a snippet. WIPs, published works, heck I even count author's notes  sometimes. IMHO, variations on the words are allowed (shook instead of  shake, cloudy instead of clouds and the like), and even synonyms (storm  instead of thunder) if you really can't find something. Just share your  snippets with your friends, tag some people and give them some new words  to look for if they want to take up the challenge!

I decided to take part after seeing @loudlooks’s post. The words are: mirror, ball, blood, movie, hot

If anyone else wants to play: river, morning, tear, chair, warm

mirror - “Tender Curiosity” wip (I lie to myself about this one and say I’ll someday continue beyond the chapter and change I’ve had for it since like 2013)

Hands braced on the edge of the counter, Tony fought off his own wave of nausea, sucking in breaths, shallow and short. Each exhale scrambled his mind of unwanted images, each inhale swelled his exasperation. Heat seethed through his veins. It was misplaced, yet it took more effort to stave off than it would have to embrace, explode from the room, and leave the ex-Mossad assassin to her secrets, just the way she wanted it.  If this was what came with their relat--friendship these days, maybe he didn’t want it after all. 

A chance look in the mirror brought into view the tremble of her chin. Her eyes darted to the ceiling, fending off another round of waterworks. “Though I cannot say that this was…” She paused to swallow the sob in her voice. “Planned.”

The tears she refused to shed in his company extinguished the burn of his anger to smoldering coals. He never could stay mad at her. Irritated?  Sure, they drove each other crazy.  Real anger?  No.  It was a weakness, Tony knew. Getting close clouded judgment. Probably why Gibbs had a rule about it. Getting close was a risk. 

It just didn’t feel like those things as he eliminated the distance between them, resting a gentle hand on her shoulder. This felt right.

ball - “The Buttercup Theory” idea/wip 

You really hadn’t lived until you experienced Ziva David meeting a puppy. It was like watching a hulking WWE wrestler cuddle up with a teacup kitten.

Okay. Maybe not that drastic. It was pretty freaky, though.

Freaky enough that Tony’s insistence that they leave, that Gibbs would be expecting them back far sooner than later, lost momentum. He couldn’t look away as she crouched to her knees in front of the small crate, an incongruous fixture in the sterile kitchen of his bachelor pad. 

“Oh my goodness, look at you,” Ziva cooed at the ball of fluff huddled inside the metal contraption. Literally cooed. His partner for a pigeon. 

“Who did you just become?”

The brunette glanced up, her gaze shining from beneath the visor of her NCIS cap. “You did not tell me you were thinking of getting a puppy.”

“Because I wasn’t.”

“It is not exactly the best timing, Tony.”

“Agreed.”

“Yet now you have a puppy.”

“I don’t have a puppy.” 

The sparkle dimmed in Ziva’s eyes.

blood - “New Year Normal” wip (trying desperately to get this done rn)

“You are cranky, Tony.”

“You are blunt as ever, Ziva.” His crossed arms mirrored the knot of his grimace. “And I’m not cranky because I’m not a 3-year-old who missed his nap.”

“Then you are jet lagged.”

“After 15 hours at 30,000 feet? No, you think?”

She ignored his sarcasm while inspecting the underside of an end-table drawer. Clear. “You should eat something. Your blood sugar is low.”

“What do you know about my blood sugar?” 

“I know when it is low, you are cranky.” Ziva tossed him an apple from the complimentary bowl of fruit. “Eat, or one of us will not leave this room alive.” 

Tony caught it on a fumble. “Well argued, my ninja, but I’ll take my chances.”

He set the apple aside and scrubbed his hand from forehead to nape, ironing his sandy locks this unkempt way and that, not seeming to notice or care that his hair looked a mess in the end. It matched the shadowy scruff ringing his jaw, the puffy half-moons of fatigue beneath hazel eyes. 

The breakdown of his normally fastidious appearance—his armor—left no doubt. Anthony DiNozzo, Jr. was out of sorts.

movie - “Land I Grew” wip

Leaning back against the counter, Tony dragged so hard on the bottle that the plastic crinkled and caved in on itself. 

“Where’s your TV?” he asked after swallowing hard. 

“I do not have one.”

“That’s cold.”  

“I am not you. My life does not revolve around movies—”

“Ziva.” He lifted the half-empty bottle to eye level. “I meant refreshing.”

“Oh.” She crossed her arms.

Tony guzzled, stray droplets splashing onto the day’s growth of stubble around his mouth. His pink tongue flashed out from between parched lips, like a cat unwilling to waste a drop of precious milk. Or: a man never satisfied. 

She would be thirsty as well, if she had run from his apartment to hers. They were clear across the city from each other now.

“When did you start running?”

“Like, 20 minutes ago. It’s not my best time, but--”

“Tony.”

“I had a lot of stress to burn off this summer.” His answer hovered between nonchalance and restraint. “No couch?”

hot - “Contaminate My Heart” (aka my tiva shower fic that I drafted during covid lockdown but then had a crisis of confidence and so it’s sat ever since)

Any rebuttal she might have formed evaporated in the blast of heated rain, striking her just right, dabbling neck and shoulders and arms, coursing rivers in the thin gaps separating their chests. A chill born of the time spent between showers rocketed outward from her belly button, spreading and vibrating off her skin. Her eyelids drooped. 

“Good?” He knew it was. She did not care, draping her arms around him. 

“Yes, my shower went out before I had a chance to finish.”

“Huh, usually you’re the first one done.”

Only then did Ziva break the trance of sensation. Tony’s grin greeted her, smug and goading. 

“I did not realize we could lie, mon petit pois.” 

His grin widened, or it seemed that way as he leaned forward, blurring at the edges of her vision. Hot breath exhaled across her forehead, a masquerade of delayed laughter. Or desire. 

“You can do whatever you want…to me, sweetcheeks.”

[brotheramberland]

Hi there. What's up? You can call me 'Bro'. My pronouns are he/they. I'm at that old, brittle age of 22- yippee! I'm asexual. And I love cats!

I'm kind of an odd ball. I love all kinds of fandoms, and for this account I plan to write drabbles and post all kinds of silly stuff.

Here's an overwhelming list to help you get the gist of what I plan to do.

I plan to turn fictional characters into father figures. This may include reader-inserts and the age-altering of specific characters.

All my content will be SFW.

All and any reader-inserts will be portrayed as non-binary unless the drabble calls for something specific.

I love shipping characters together, however, any romance on this account will be mostly portrayed as non-explicit and platonic.

My comfort otp is ZoLu and/or LawLu from One Piece.

I love, love, love writing fluff.

On this account there will be no discrimination or prejudice against race, religion or culture.

This account is LGBTQIA+ friendly.

I'm a big fan of One Piece, Naruto, Black Clover, Disney movies, DreamWorks movies, Guardians of The Galaxy, Attack on Titan, and a bunch of other stuff I can't think of right now.

I love turning bad guys into good guys. I don't know why, it's just fun, and it definitely makes for some awesome father figures.

Everything I post is meant to be fun, comforting, fluffy and simple.

If there is violence or anything triggering, I will tag it and leave a note at the beginning of the text.

Expect a lot of crazy stuff on this account, honestly. From father drabbles to theories, rants and ventilations to little concept ideas to goofy memes.

While I do enjoy shipping some characters together, I'm not really the biggest smut fan. So expect mainly platonic love and fluff.

I really just wanna have fun and see if I can put a smile on peoples' faces.

And if you made it through all that then congrats! I hope you enjoy whatever the heck happens to be on my blog right now. Keep your head up, stay awesome, and have a for-sure tremendous day!

[hexdsl]

Subscriptions: The cost of productivity.

Subscriptions are mad things. They allow services to have a constant stream of financial revenue. They allow customers, in theory to have more flexible pricing on things that they may only want for short periods of time. They are also the tiny leaks that sink the massive boat.

I understand the rationale behind media streaming services being subscription based and this post is in no way about them. I can't expect a lifetime of Netflix for one fee, that wouldn't make sense - I get that. Really... but software, there's a different beast.

Task Manager: ToDoist

A good example of my frustration here is the task management service ToDoist. I love the service. I use it multiple times a day and it's an integral part of how I get things done in my life.

I have multiple 'Projects' in there, Work, home, a media watch list, writing schedules, and more. I use the feature that lets me e-mail things to it as well as uploading files. It's basically my day-to-day calendar. So, when I ask why the heck its £48 a year, I don't mean it's not worth the money.

The entire Microsoft office suite costs at most £59 a year. For that I get cloud storage, the office suite and, in there some place is, yep, a task manager software.

The thing is, I pay for office, yet I, also, pay for ToDoist. This is in no small part because Microsoft ToDO is a bit very rubbish.

Honestly, I would pay the £59 a year for ether the storage, or Word alone. For me it's worth it and the running costs for cloud storage on top of the development costs of the office suite, make sense to be charged to me. Also, before Office was a subscription service it used to cost hundreds of pounds. While I'm pretty sure this was overpriced, the addition of online services makes is feel like a reasonable value proposition to me.

Now, imagine is Microsoft ToDo wasn't trash. I would effectively be saving £48 a year. If Microsoft made this one tiny, after-thought of an application slightly better, I would save money. But, by the logic of ToDoist pricing, they would need to add £40+ to the price of office to make it sustainable. Is office under-priced, or is ToDoist overpriced? It's all a made-up value propositions, but it seems out of line somehow.

I'm not actually sure it matters. Their costs are firmly secondary to my needs. Microsoft don't have a good Task Manager, I need one. So, I pay ToDoist.

Link Archiving: Raindrop

Another example of the odd value of Subscriptions is with bookmarking services. I pay a small amount every month (just over £2) for 'Raindrop.' This is a service that I'm starting to think of as essential. At first, I dismissed the usefulness of having my bookmarks outside of browser but over time the usefulness became clearer.

Explaining the usefulness of Raindrop is likely its own blog but the TLDR version is its searching and tagging is great. Again though, imagine is this functionality was built into Edge, or even office. I would save the ~£20 a year.

Input: RSS & Read-later

Part of my personal productivity workflow follows a simple rule that someone in a book once imparted as wisdom. If something takes less than two minutes, do it now. If it's going to take longer than that, schedule it.

I take this as a universal law when it comes to tasks and e-mails but, I also take it as law when it comes to the input streams.

I get a constant stream of articles from RSS. I don't tend to waste time with random browsing. I have subscriptions and I read them. If someone suggest a site, I add it to subscription and if it turns out to be trash, I remove it.

I have been using Newsblur for this, but its UI has been making me twitch recently. Its reading feels a bit clunky to me and it feels, well, just old. To tackle this, I have been trying other services. Feedly actual costs over £70 a year. While it's particularly good I won't pay that much money for RSS! It is, firmly over the limit of what I think it is worth. Which is a shame, because it's great!

I assume a lot of people look at the price of ToDoist and have a similar response.

When I find an article that I think I want to read, I blink at it for a moment assessing whether or not it will take more than a couple of minutes to read. If it will, I pass it to a read-later site.

Currently I use Instapaper for this but am trialling Pocket recently. This service is almost entirely for staging. Once I read the article, either its good and worth saving, in which case it moved to Notion or it gets deleted. Occasionally I see something that I think was interesting and may not want to archive, but may want to send to others if the topic arises, this is when it finds its way to Raindrop.

General Archival: Notion

Notion served one purpose for me: Archiving. Some archived items are notes about books I'm writing. Others Copies of websites, certificates, receipts, whatever else.

Notion, for me should never contain a surprise. Everything in there, is sorted tagged and organised. It is the extra bit of storage that my brain knows how to access, without having to keep inside (web search for 'second brain' and you'll find this is a common practice)

I use Notion premium because my needs are in excess of the free offering (I share a lot and upload a lot of files)

The cost of productivity

In summary, there is a cost to productivity. While I am sure you can be productive with a good text file (or a paper and pen) this is the workflow I have come to use. It works for me but there is a cost.

Notion: $48 a year.

ToDoist: $48 a year.

Office: £59 a year.

Raindrop: $25 a year (I think.)

RSS: About £40 a year, depending on current provider.

Read-later: About $30 a year, depending on current provider.

This is a bit mad: Given now much more organized I am now, compared to how I was before 'learning' productivity and picking up all this, it is totally worth it!

I get more than ~£230 of value from these products, per year though.

My critique here is not the cost or value of the product it is a general question of what is reasonable for them to charge.

Open alternatives.

While I absolutely could install open source, free software solutions, the maintenance and installation time makes me unlikely to bother. Also, part of the joy of having these things hosted by services is that they are not my responsibility to maintain. While this goes against a lot of the mindset of my readers, I will likely be able to use any of these services for a decade or more and put zero hours into maintainance, updates or bug-squishing. I won't accidentally wipe them. I can't lose anything, and they will not (probably) vanish or become unmaintained. Basically, it's worth the cost to me to not have to do it my self.

[menacing-anon]

My Predictions Masterpost, Pre-2x01

This is a compilation of all my predictions prior to watching season 2! I'll post updated versions before watching every new batch where I'll round up what I predicted correctly and incorrectly and adjust predictions for future episodes. There are also some observations with no clear prediction in here that I want to remember in case I get ideas later.

I basically went through all the promotional material – the Vanity Fair first look photos, teaser, trailer, TV spots, photos and behind-the-scenes featurette — and wrote any ideas in chronological order. I did not watch the clip from 2x01, because that's straight-up the show, but I know in a sentence what it's about. I also read, like, a sentence from a review and ventured into the Vanity Fair article without realizing they're pretty spoilery; I pretend I do not see it, but I do, so

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR 2x01-2x03.

I'm sure there are many spot-on analyses and theories I haven't seen, but I figured I would use my own thinking first, and now I'm late. Plus the season premiered, so I'll stay out of everywhere until I'm caught up. I did get some ideas from this post by chaotic-neutral-knitter and this post by naranjapetrificada, which are galaxy brain (linking to my reblogs for my thoughts in the tags).

Episode 1: Impossible Birds

I spoiled myself that 2x01 starts with Stede and Izzy fencing, and that's gotta be a dream sequence, because it's clearly Steard! I CAN'T BELIEVE they're baiting us like that 😆

But whose dream sequence? I'd say Stede's, because who else would it be besides Ed, whom I don't expect to see until...

The wedding raid! It's in this episode because it's reminiscent of Stede's crew's preparation in 1x01. It's probably also the first we see of the Revenge crew, so the first update is an impactful one.

Fang trying to get Izzy to see that he doesn't relate to Ed (or Blackbeard?) in a healthy way probably happens right after Fang says that he's never seen Blackbeard "like this," and that's a reasonable place for that to start. And when he says that, they're eating what must be wedding cake, 'cause it's not as if Roach is around to bake one.

We surely know by the end of this conversation that Ed has repeated his violent act from the finale towards Izzy (also spoiled by some text).

I'm hopping on the theory that Ed plays with the figurines very late in the episode in the auxiliary closet because I like it!

On Stede's end — I figure the shopping with Oluwande happens in 2x01, because the conversation about Stede and Ed's relationship feels like an update on Stede's perception of it. In that case, given the little Red Scarfie, 2x01 also contains the rainy shots of Stede and the crew, and Stede lying awake next to Roach, thinking about what people said about Ed today, maybe. This alternates or is consecutive with Ed also up at night with the cake toppers.

The Vanity Fair article mentions a set of Stede's cabin, which is probably where Stede lies awake both times. But if that's in the first couple eps, why would they be chilling in a cabin and not traveling around looking for the Revenge, or idk, pirating? Is transportation an issue at this point?

Episode 2: Red Flags

Ed just had a rough night, as supported but not proven by the cake topper in the upper right corner:

But something also prompts him to brighten up and try to move on.

The anticipated and shown storm happens here, which makes sense because we see Ed... cackling in it?, exactly what a person who is still going through it at this point in the season would do. Plus, I imagine it playing after Fang refers to Ed acting "like this" is intentional; that's an example of how he behaves early in the season, when he's still on the Revenge before getting mutinied— oop! I know from the hecking review that there's mutiny in the first three eps. And I mean, Fang's statement, his conversation with Izzy, and the next ep titled Red Flags? I would say the mutiny is here, and it's against Ed.

The person coming out of the water clearly only has one arm covered by a black sleeve, and I was gonna say that one person being thrown into the sea and another emerging from it is an unlikely coincidence. Then I noticed that the rock tied to them — which is how I know it's no accident during the storm or something, and which is the same way Izzy was nearly treated when the crew mutinied against him — appears next to Ed later. Ed somehow survives this, and his rising from the ocean might be an impactful reveal at the end of the episode, kind of like in 1x02.

I saw Rhys Darby with a mermaid tail and the Vanity Fair article says there's an underwater reunion. Must be here!

I don't know who gets the mutiny started, but probably the Fang and Izzy area, although I'm not sure Izzy would be in favor of drowning Ed, since it looks like the show will try to redeem him... And I don't know who the intended next captain is, but unless it's Archie, whom I think we would know too little about by that point, Jim is probably the most interested and skilled. Izzy might be wary, and weary after recent events.

Meanwhile, a scarfless (that's the connecting link 😅) Stede throws the bottle, runs across the beach ("why are you running?" 🤨) and lies awake under Buttons' hammock.

Episode 3: The Innkeeper

Besides mutiny and drowning, the other thing that happens in the first three episodes per the review excerpt is amputation, and of course it's of Izzy's leg. The two previous episodes might be too busy for it, so perhaps here. I hope it's medical, which given Izzy's recent injuries is very plausible, as seen with Lucius.

But also, I caught a glimpse of the description, which says that Zheng takes over the Revenge? Well, idk who that is, but that adds up with the aftermath of a mutiny.

I don't think the innkeeper is anyone we know anything else about! It's probably not pirate Anne Bonny nor mysterious merchant Susan.

I know from the thumbnail that this is when Ed confronts the guy in the forest, who is "not even here, he's a hallucination." It's Hornigold, which seems fitting given what little we know of him and what Ed is trying to figure out about his life.

Episode 4: Fun and Games

Ed is looking more tan and a little rumpled when he runs into Stede, so that might be post-mutiny and Hornigold confrontation. Anne Bonny kisses Stede, then looks like she made a point, and they have dinner with the other lady. Looks like it doesn't run smoothly.

The Rest, Chronologically:

I'll group as much as I can by what definitely happens nearby, in a speculated order. It's very reliant on Stede's outfits 😅

There's the Chinese? Outfit they all wear when they're captured, so my best guess is that they change before that happens, maybe to blend in with another group, or they're dressed by the capturers. They're somehow right next to the Revenge? then, too.

I think the scene where Ed headbuts Stede is around there, and Stede's heartwrenched "Ed?!" seems like the sort of thing that would happen shortly before they make up, but I'm leaning towards Green Shirt Era (next paragraph). They definitely aren't yet because Stede says that he hurt "him" in this fit, which seems pre-makeup. Ed looks similar to the way he does at the market (note the mark on his lip), so the two are temporally close. So ALTERNATIVELY, this might be their first meeting in the season, and the awkward, anticlimatic market interaction is later. This is also episode 4?

There's the Green Shirt Era, which seems to last at least a couple episodes, and Gentlebeard probably make up during it. We see them separately, even in the same place, but it also contains the beach battle, and I do think they're back together by that point or shortly after given Ed's back-to-black outfit, which he wears in Red Shirt Era, when it seems like everything's good again. Therefore, I place this after the pre-makeup Chinese Outfit Era.

From the shot in the teaser, I thought this might be the talent show, but the trailer shows more angles on it and it's... bewildering at best. It's in Green Shirt Era, I just don't know what "it" is. Episode 5?

Ed and Stede chill with/at Jackie's around the same time as Stede hangs out with these folks, because he's with the same person. Maybe they meet in an outdoor scene, then go to the bar.

At some point, this street chaos happens, and maybe if we turned around, we would see Susan?

This is before or after a fight at the bar: Susan draws her dagger, and the only person we see next to her in that shot, Oluwande, hits someone with a bottle (it's hard to get a clean shot). All episode 6?

The battle is the last part of this era, because Stede has an earring now (which he also wears when he tells someone being a failure isn't so bad, hmm). Stede and Ed are fighting side-by-side, don't @ me. In episode 7, to leave a bit of room for the last thing.

I can't explain the screaming... Stede has a wound, from a bullet maybe, during the not-talent-show, but I think the battle comes after, and he has no earring when he screams. Where would these theories be without the scarfie and earring 😅

This somehow only leaves episode 8 for Red Shirt Era, where we're obviously all made up and together <3 Some final conflicts, big stakes and setup.

The Rest Rest:

Lucius is alive, and we learn this before Stede and Ed really make up. More on that in this post. Thank you, trailer, for assuaging the mild concerns I did harbor on that front with this shot that sent. me.

What if, ...hear me out:

Izzy is seen on set in... army? attire. So are Frenchie and Lucius up there, so I guess they infiltrate, in episode 7. Ooh, maybe a fuckery. Izzy is also the only character seen talking to the new antag, about piracy and in his regular outfit. No way he gets in cahoots with them, and he could be recognized during the fuckery if it were before, so I guess that's in the aftermath...?

Izzy is totally training Stede, though I'm not sure when any of it happens. That really explains "I've done a punch" after Izzy just watches Stede fight, Stede watching alone seemingly with his hands behind his back as a shirtless Izzy slices the candles, and their two scenes alone on the deck. That's so fun, I can't believe I've never considered it!

"I've done a punch" might be during a raid, but either way it's where Stede picks up the red coat.

What on Earth is going on with Stede demanding Ed's respect as his captain? Can't place that at all!

That's everything for now! I'll be back to reevaluate before I watch episode 4! 😃

[castle-dominion]

Undead again 4x22

breaking in TO CASTLE'S PLACE? IS THAT A DOG? OH NO ALEXIS! Not a dog, maybe a gun? also who has their device zoomed that far out? Who goes page-by-page instead of scrolling? Oh it's dad. Lol I miss their laser tag games RC: Wait. Let me savor this. I haven't gotten the drop on you since you were ten. Oh, this feels like…victory.

Aw he doesn't force the game when alexis wants to talk. Good. I remember she said stuff about oxford a few seasons ago. s2 I think. Girl I LOVE living at home during college. It is great. I brought home litres upon litres of soup my first block of my first term. I couldn't eat all of it by myself! Alexis you are so wrong. Adults need play too!

RC: No, it's not [just a game]. It's--it's a time-honored family tradition that we've been honoring since Alexis could wrap her little finger around a trigger! Also a thousand points is a lot less than you think when you play for years ADULTS NEED PLAY TOO

Yeah it IS kind of your fault rick. Yeah! At least let her know why! This man is surprisingly emotionally stunted I love martha so much But also Rick you probably should check with the mystery man that it's ok for you to leave.

KB, to esposito, who has drank coffee often throughout the show: You said you didn't like coffee. JE, the ex-military pig who made fun of his friend for drinking warm milk with honey before bed bc it helped his GF sleep: I like vanilla lattes! Wow becks is pretty af

SP: Ah, our intrepid heroes have arrived. And Castle. I love him so much RC: Ah, Perlmutter. I will treasure these special moments we've shared. KB: *did he just drop a hint he's leaving?*

SP: It's not just a bite mark. Look at the skin. You see how it's torn? The killer latched on and shook like a pit bull trying to tear off the flesh. KB: *wow that was a violent description* Ooh castle knows the right stuff about clothing. Neat.

4am is p early lol. Ah the bakers & foreign traders of the world. Oddball how? Charlie also got murked & HIS body was dumped?

RC: Well, that's a shame. This case had some real promise. Savage bite marks, reconstruction era clothing. Gets some mystery here, a whiff of intrigue. Now we're just slapping cuffs on some disgruntled employee. KB: RC: Just wanted this one to be special. He's just going to be naked I swear.

DANG HE'S LOCKED UP

RC: Relax, Charlie. Relax. We're cops. Charlie Coleman: You're a cop? KB: Yeah. CC: Is that your gun? [Beckett raises her eyebrows.] KB: Yeah. CC: You need to shoot me. Do it now! [Charlie squeezes his eyes shut and presents his chest to her.]

CC: he stared right past me with this weird look on his face and then he said, "What the hell is that?"! RC: What the hell was it?

"yeah sure I promise" not very convincing babe CC: Promise that you will use your gun on me when I start to turn. KB: !?!?!? That's a heck of a bite mark

the 911 operator would assume there are drugs involved & try to get him to come down from his high tbh. RC, totally correct: I believe he believes it.

RC: Oh! Wai-- um… Sorry. Let me make sure I understand so that I might properly relish this moment. You're saying… JE, turning to him in, idk disgust? annoyance? well his face is so great here I think I'll clip it: *thinking: don't touch me* RC, talking too slow: …the evidence shows Charlie and the victim both were bitten by an as yet unknown third party. JE, overlapping & speaking fast: That's what I just sai-- RC, interrupting & talking slow & AGAIN TOUCHING ESPOSITO: Perhaps even… JE: *looking so pissed that castle keeps touching him* RC: …a mindless, shuffling, …undead third party. KB: Castle, just stop. There's no such thing as a zombie. KR, entering: Guys…you gotta see this. Oh he's def going to show "proof" of zombies. I love how ryan slowly has gotten more & more castle-like throughout the show, he believes more things & spins more theories btw he is hot af holy crap I need to grab a pic of this

RC: Our killer's a zombie! *high fives some random cop who probably didn't know that he was going to claim the killer was a freaking zombie*

castle is surprisingly calm. I thought he would get into the bunker he def owns.

RC: Security camera caught him in all his putrefying glory. MR: Woo-oo. I don't supposed you downloaded this video by chance? RC: Absolutely not. That video is police property. It would be very, very wrong of me to…get a screen grab of it and e-mail it to myself.

MARTHA LURED HIM IN & THEN SHE FRICKING DESCENDED FROM THE CEILING

It has been a full day since they caught the case? bc rick was with martha & alexis there & alexis said "my act yesterday" & now they are wearing different clothes but they barely did anything yesterday. well they did a bunch of security footage so nvm. & they had to calm down a guy enough to bring him to the station.

Why didn't he take his car home tho? when he got bit?

Need to clip this scene with ryan & coleman. (btw his fidgeting? point for the adhd headcanon) & his pretty smile. & playing on charlie's level. *puts it back on ryan's chest & closes the door on himself* & then ryan's FACE it's so GOOD

RC: Charlie has not been wrong yet Me: ... That's true & then castle has a nice leather suit jacket, beckett has a pretty yellow leather jacket, the boys are pretty enough

KR: I mean,.. he does,,, look like a real zombie? JE: "A real zombie"? I'm embarrassed for you, bro. I wish my lipreading was better I figured it out KR: Is that true? RC: ye

JE: Only in New York could some guy dress like a friggin' zombie and walk down the street unnoticed. Yeah lol he's right

Howston? JE: I'll tell you where he went: Booty call. "chica" That's a heck of a name, Mastroianni

Heck of a ring I like espt's shirt bc it's smth I would wear but it is smth I wear bc I live in canada & have scars, not smth I'd wear to work The way they interrogate her... continuing to ask her questions, figuring out tom knew where he worked, standing, it is an interesting choice for them to be standing

This man is kind of interesting looking. I like his outfit How do you know the height of the zombie? "what the hell is that?" Who is at the library at that time???

RC: What about recently deceased friends and coworkers? But castle, they would not be wearing 1870s garb Yeah for sure, psychological issues thinking he's a zombie KB: What kind of chemical? KR: Uh, I won't even begin to try to pronounce it, but it is used in three factories in New York and New Jersey. (it turns out to be a relatively easy-to-pronounce chemical) Ryan is saying this to castle not to becket... interesting

Wow & it is dark out?? RC: All I know is that normal people don't come to places like this at 2:00 AM in the morning. I can't hear anything but I'm also deaf They totally should have been able to hear the moaning too (I've totally done things where some friends & I start running yelling "run" & then people come along with us. It is not that they are stupid, it is that they trust other human beings. We get a whole bunch of ppl running. How did they get behind them too? I totally would have shot earlier tbh, she would have gotten in trouble for shooting a civillian

Lol the one zombie in the wheelchair. Glad to see a disabled person & their friend enjoying a thing like this. It sounds like a fun game of tag lol. But when they get turned they don't have a chance to dress up as much as the rest of the zombies ALL of them are coming with you? HE USES THE WORD OUTSTANDING

Love all the zombies in the police station giving statements in their get-up. Reminds me of that one job interview I had. Vampires are sexy, zombies are also cool Not a supernatural creature tho becks.

JE, not someone I'd expect to have fashion tips: I don't know about those shoes with that top. I'm just saying. I'd have went open-toe.

JE: Oh, and guess what? None of these knuckleheads are real zombies. KR: I think what my colleague means to say is that no one recognizes our zombie from the video or our victim David Lock.

Teacher Zombie: He definitely wasn't part of our group, I can tell you that. Zombie Paul: High AF (& yk what good for him) KB: Paul, are you high right now? ZP: Whoa! Whoa, hey now, uh…where is that …(nervous chuckle)…coming from? No. No, of course not.

Teachers can have lives & have fun. Oh anthropology? Yeah of course he's a zombie TZ: I believe our fascination with zombies is a cultural phenomenon, a commentary on the inner numbness of modern life. RC: *it all makes sense now*

Ooh sexy run & jump into there, love it OH NO MAN'S DEAD lmao his face when he needs to take the zombie's pulse. clipping that.

PERLMUTTER MY BELOVED SP: We're all meat, Castle. Get over it. KB: Well, the question is: who killed him? SP: Isn't that always the question?. Ok castle, zombies can only exist for about two hours after death, then they are no longer able to be zombies.

WHAT THE HECK HE'S ALIVE OR UNDEAD OR SMTH nine to get out of the system lol. btw I totally thought perlmutter was telling him to call 911 Castle is hella calm rn (btw cecil fox)

KB: So, based on the latest report from the ER, Kyle Jennings was transferred up to ICU. He is stable, but under sedation. KR: I'm telling you, that guy was dead. JE: Remind me never to choke on a chicken bone in front of you. KR: Hey! You checked that guy, so did the paramedics. JE: :| KB: Whoa, you guys. I'm sure that there's a medical explanation for it. RC: Oh, there's an explanation, alright. KB: Besides that one. btw it is the next morning & they are in the same clothes from last night. At least caskett are. RC: Well then, what was his motive for murder, Detective Esposito? KR: *crosses his arms & looks at espt, def mimicking castle* & ryan's hair is getting longer & he's so freaking cute I think I have a problem. (I mean they are all good... y'all would fuck a fence if it was white... I hope I'm not one of those ppl)

RC: Or he's a zombie killer with a zombie motive.

RC: (whisper to Ryan) Tasty brains. KR: (whisper) You know, Castle, do you really believe in all this zombie stuff, because I-I would swear on my nana's grave that Kyle Jennings was dead. ((You would swear on your NANA'S GRAVE that's insane)) RC, putting a hand on ryan's shoulder/neck: (whisper) No. You know what I do believe in? Driving Beckett crazy. [They both smile. Castle pat's ryan] KR: (whisper) Y'know, I have to say, it's good to see you guys hitting it off again. RC: *I am planning on leaving… sad* I need to clip this one

WAIT IS IT NOT THE NEXT DAY? IT WAS SO BRIGHT BUT OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL IT IS DARK

Except they all said he did not go on the zombie walk... though his shoe chemicals proved he was there

She would def believe that he was lying oh no poor kyle. At least she tells him to get a lawyer. RC: It is with a sad heart I say that that man is no zombie. Oh & they are not talking about Kyle here. RC: When a life-altering moment occurs… people remember. I like how they are at least talking about it finally, even if they are talking about it through kyle. I love perlmutter. He looks So Annoyed to see them! Def take a pic of this

KB: Perlmutter! SP: *looks up like "heck this"* KB: What are you doing here? SP: I came to…tend to one of my patients, Kyle Jennings. RC: Uh…do you think that's such a good idea? SP: I'll have you know I'm perfectly capable of treating living patients, I simply prefer not to. ((lmao I love him)) I made an exception here because the results of his blood work are quite unusual. KB: What do you mean? SP: Kyle Jennings had scopolamine ((easy to say)) in his system, which in small doses is used to treat motion sickness. In larger doses, it acts on the central nervous system to promote compliant and suggestible behavior. Truth serums aren't real... or this... ok then this is the way things work. But you can't be THAT suggestible...

Ryan touches her shoulder & it means smth to me. KR: Uh, I got started on that, and I did some research on…scopolamine. *smiles* RC: Nice. *you pronounced it, good for you mr used-to-be-a-drug-cop* The zombie drug? that's adderall lol. Actually no, that is adhd medication on adhd people WHEN AT A DOSE TOO HIGH. Lower your dose if you need to. talk to your doctor. & you know what? Maybe you are ok with feeling a little bit like a zombie so that you can function.

the one who was high obviously "woah what now?" didn't they show him that pic already tho? btw is charlie still in the holding cells? Oh no wait this is tom, tom is the boyf TW: Detective, I'm pre-law. I--I have no time for regular culture, let alone subculture. But he had an alibi

True, go at him not head-on but sideways! OH NO SHE KILLED HIM

KB: Maybe this is it. What every homicide cop fears: the perfect murder. RC: No. This is not the perfect murder. Can't be. KB: It happens. RC: Not to me. Not unless I've written it.

Esposito coming in at this exact moment... Castle is suddenly concerned. KB: Detective Esposito, please process Mr. Williams and then escort him to his apartment, make sure it's clear, (to tom williams:) and then after that you are on your own.

Oh heeheehee I know this I like this. We have esposito here driving him in & tom afraid af. & THEN SUDDENLY BASEBALL BAT ON THE WINDOW (whose car is that tho?) I like esposito's voice here Gun is scary, esp when u hear the sound go ka-click Wow this is fun. Weird voice tho. & those eyes... I can tell Esposito <3 I wish martha was involved in the directing of it. & it must be hard for actors to play a person who is acting but not perfect at it. They would act too well.

JE: Turn around. [Tom stares at Castle.] JE: (impatient) Turn around. [Esposito flips Tom towards the car and pulls out his cuffs.] JE: (to Castle) I gotta tell you, bro, coming at me like that, almost made me a believer. [Beckett watches Castle step up behind Esposito and growl with the voice modifier.] JE: Stop it. [Esposito shoves Castle away nervously.] JE: Don't do that. You're creeping me out. [Beckett smirks and Castle does another little growl.] DEFINITELY CLIPPING THAT BC IT IS HILARIOUS & I LOVE IT

Hey it's that detective we see sometimes, I don't know his name

Kyle Jennings: Detective, Mr. Castle, I--I don't know how to thank you-- RC: Uh… Let me borrow the zombie outfit for another day, we'll call it even. & THEY ARE USING THE KYLE ANALOGY AGAIN TO TALK ABOUT HER YESSS YES YES YES

Tomorrow & always, the best words on the show

Is that alexis or rick? btw the pic has no background... His hair lol

Martha said it was just a game & you argued It's ok to stay with your family. Love. Castle family <3 <3 <3 I love them

Best two out of three <3! What ending was that... "this isn't over"

Aw that was a great episode! I'm so happy!

Now I have work in an hour IF I get called in & I have chores to do & I should probably record some of that audiobook I haven't touched in a year...

But I might consider getting started on the next episode, though I would have liked to do a bunch of recording to clip on tumblr.

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

what happened the first time Wes tried to crack open the Danny is Phantom conspiracy did he like, confront Danny first or was it all behind his back like, maybe hoping ground zero would be lost among the gossip and that Danny wouldn't find out who spilled the beans once everyone knew

I mean it obviously wouldn't work because nobody believed him and the gossip didn't take off very far beyond a few people talking about Wes being kinda weird

I should absolutely write a fic about this.

I am absolutely going to write a fic about this.

I AM RIGHT NOW GOING TO WRITE A FIC ABOUT THIS.

----

"Hey Fenton! Fenton!!" Dash came bounding over and threw a meaty arm around his shoulder.

"Jesus Dash! What?!" Danny buckled under the weight (pretended to anyway) as Dash gave him a surprisingly lighthearted punch on the arm.

"You haven't heard?! Wes has this total batshit insane theory, it's hilarious!"

Dash was in a genuine giggle-fit, Danny didn't think he'd ever seen him this merry, he was also starting to suspect he was going to leave this conversation being the butt of the joke somehow. Wait-

"Wes? Who the heck is Wes?" Danny asked, it wasn't like he knew everyone in school, like Dash seemed to.

"He's on the basketball team, you know, tall guy, red hair, threw a sick move at least month's game! You know, WES!"

"I didn't watch that game."

"Oh," said Dash, flatly, "Oh yeah, almost forgot you're a total nerd. Anyway, like I was saying!"

Dash grabbed Danny by the shoulders and nearly lifted him off the floor.

"Wes thinks," he could barely speak through his giggling, he even snorted a few times, "Wes thinks your secretly PHANTOM."

Dash dropped Danny back down as he doubled over laughing.

"Could you imagine?! You! You're not even DEAD!" Dash honest to god slapped his knee in mirth.

Danny went through an incredibly swift array of emotions in the span of about five seconds.

The first was fear, clear and bracing, then came confusion, how did he know? Had he seen something? Then there was hope, Dash didn't believe it, and if DASH didn't believe it, maybe nobody else believed it either. Then relief, he could roll with this, he could TOTALLY roll with this! Dash was right! It was absurd, it was ridiculous, it was hilarious, him being Phantom? What utter nonsense!

Sam and Tucker had been standing by his side at a Dash-safe distance, looking absolutely horrified. Sam looked ready to jump in and lay down a swift defence, but Danny gave a quick little low wave for her to stand down. He got this.

"Oh my god SERIOUSLY?" Danny busted out a slightly hysterical laugh, okay so he wasn't completely over the initial terrified anxiety.

"How could I- I mean what- WHY does he think I'M Phantom?! I mean how does that even work I don't-"

Dash clapped him on the shoulder, this was probably the most contact he'd ever had with him without being physically assaulted.

"I know right?! Like apparently he thinks you look alike? And he's all like 'But I've seen his eyes glow green' and 'they're never in the same roo-hoo-hoom." Dash wheezed and started hacking and coughing.

Danny carefully constructed a look of offence.

"Hey I mean, it's not THAT funny. Why couldn't I be Phantom! I know how to use a Fenton Thermos! Look I even HAVE one right-" he torn open his backpack and pulled one out, making sure to fumble it in a terrific display of fuck-uppery and drop it noisily on the cafeteria floor, he dropped to his knees trying to grab it but knocked it under a table.

A few girls standing nearby who'd been listening in started tittering, one of the guys sitting at the table snorted milk through his nose and Dash was just about on the floor in hysterics.

Even Sam and Tucker covered their mouths in an attempt to look like they were holding in laughter. Tucker muttered to Sam, just loud enough for people around to hear.

"I mean, he's our friend and we love him, but god that was painful to watch. He knows he's terrible at ghost hunting! He's got like, nothing but thumbs."

Danny climbed under the table, grabbed at the thermos and lifted it up as he crawled back out.

"See! See! I have a thermos! I could TOTALLY be Phantom!"

Sam walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's okay bud, I think you'd be a great Phantom." her voice was thick with her usual sarcasm, soaked in pity though it were.

Danny's ears burned in embarrassment, he might have been humiliating himself on purpose, but it was still humiliating, watching everyone laugh at him for being so weak and incompetent. He was grateful to his friends for pushing through their discomfort and keeping up the act, it was still painful, but it came with a wash of pure unadulterated relief.

Nobody believed this Wes guy, nobody thought it could be even remotely possible. People would talk about it for a little while, have a laugh, maybe there would be a few memes and in-jokes, but eventually it would drop off. People would forget all about it and it would be just another notch on the gossip mill belt.

Even if someone DID believe it, they could never admit it for fear of vicious ridicule, for once in his life peer pressure was his friend.

And then Wes walked in.

Once Danny saw him he realised that he did recognise Wes, he'd seen him hanging around Kwan a few times, and chatting with Star, he was also in Danny's english class. That was about as familiar as he got with the guy, they'd never spoken a word to each other.

Wes had a terrifying expression of seething fury ripping across his face. He was glaring at Dash.

"It's NOT. FUNNY."

Dash was completely unable to stand, it was honestly overkill, Danny almost thought he was hamming it up on purpose, but maybe not, his face was turning an alarming shade of red after all.

"Wes don-" Dash gasped. "Don't do this to me man, I can't brea-" Dash was gasping for air, trying desperately to hold down the giggles.

Danny could almost see steam rising as Wes seethed. Then suddenly that furious stare was shooting daggers straight at him. Danny shrank into himself, looking as small and helpless as he possibly could.

"Uh hey Wes, um, I've heard the news." he joked tacking on a nervous laugh for emphasis. "Uh, soooo," he tossed the thermos from hand to hand, nearly dropping it again. "Is this like, just a joke or do you really-?"

Dash continued to wheeze, Kwan was holding him up by the arm, muttering about getting some water to cool off.

Wes strode over until he and Danny were face to face, he was taller by a good couple inches, even more so with Danny making a conscious effort to appear small.

Wes jabbed a sharp finger into his collarbone.

"Don't think I'm fooled by this pathetic act you've got going on, I am ONTO you, Phantom." he spat.

Danny glanced sidelong at the table beside him, silently begging for assistance, they only watched in silence, strained faces trying not to laugh. A glance the other way to his friends, they simply shrugged.

"Um, okaaay," Danny started backing away slowly. "Uh look Wes I am honestly really flattered but, do we really look that alike?" Danny ran a hand through his hair and then pointed up at Wes. "I mean we BOTH kinda have Phantom's haircut."

Sam deadpanned from the sidelines, "Maybe they're BOTH Phantom."

"We should start marketing that haircut." Tucker muttered to himself, tapping something on his tablet. "We could make a fortune, are you any good at hairdressing?"

Sam shot him a look of disgust and did not dignify the question with a response.

"Don't play dumb you two," said Wes, flipping his focus, "You're definitely in on this!"

The entire cafeteria was awash with giggles by this point. Just about everyone had heard about Wes' theory, but were mostly convinced it was some kinda joke. Now? Now they knew Wes was straight up fucking delusional.

He glanced around as people laughed, at him. At HIM.

"It's not funny!" he yelled over the crowed, the tittering increased in volume. Someone across the room yelled-

"Hey if I get the haircut, can I be Phantom too?"

One of the goths stood up on her seat.

"I've GOT the haircut! Mom says it's MY TURN to be the Phantom!"

There was a fresh round of mirthful laughter, some kids wheezing as hard as Dash had been. Another few kids piped up above the cacophony, throwing jokes of their own.

"I've got a soup thermos so I'm Phantom now, sorry sweaty I don't make the rules."

"If I wear a Phantom shirt does that make me Phantom ALL the time or am I only Phantom when I'm wearing it?"

"I have an ass, Phantom has an ass. Conclusion: I am Phantom's ass."

"Tag yourself I'm the thermos."

"DO THE BUTTS MATCH?"

Wes had been trying to scream over the din, infuriated, desperate to find SOMEONE who would listen.

Danny gave him a pat on the back.

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, The Guys in White once hunted some guy down because he had white hair, if a government agency can fuck that up then-"

Wes slugged him.

It wasn't a particularly solid punch like Dash's hits, it was quick and precise, Was wasn't a brawny guy, but he was lean and fast and had good aim.

Danny whuffed out a heavy breath as Wes' fist collided with his sternum and he collapsed to the floor.

Everyone in the cafeteria lost their shit, a few people screamed and one table of football jocks all stood up chanting, "FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT."

Tucker ran over to him as Sam stepped up and without hesitation slammed a fist straight into Wes' nose.

The footballers lost their minds, one of the goths stood up on their table screaming "REPRESEEENT!!"

Wes backed up immediately, crying out from the sharp pain blossoming across his face, he'd never been hit before and couldn't pull his thoughts together quick enough to throw a punch back at her, so he was taken by surprise once again as Sam placed a solid roundhouse kick to his stomach.

He had certainly not been expecting that kind of brute strength from her, she had incapacitated him swiftly and effectively, barely having broken a sweat.

One of his teammates hollered over the crowd and came barrelling down on the goth, she dodged without batting an eye and darted nimbly out of the way, giving the guy a quick kick in the pants to throw him off balance as she rocketed for the cafeteria door.

As Wes took a deep breath through his mouth, his nose dripping blood, he realised that Danny and Tucker were gone. The fight had lasted only seconds but Sam had run distraction well enough for the boys to take off without anyone noticing, a glance around showed Tucker supporting Danny about to exit through the cafeteria doors.

The doors opened to an out of breath Mr Lancer on the other side.

"'The Light Fantastic!' WHAT is going on here?!"

Oh they were all so fucked.

[rainforestakiie]

Hi, hello! I'm so sorry to bother you and if this ask isn't something you want to answer, I understand! Anyway, so I was going through the ONS tag and I saw this theory pop up about 'Seraph' Mika's body being in Japan and how Shika wanted Mika's soul captured. In the past Shika called 'Seraph' Mika, they and (I haven't read the new chapter yet) accourding to others in the new chapter Seraph Mika's body is neither a he or she (I'm going to say it will probably be something like Satan from Devilman).

Now my question, it might just be my confused and stupid brain, but...let's say Shika is somehow able to still force Mika's soul into the 'Seraph' body and after the big reveal or battle, or whatever, Mika becomes human in the 'Seraph' body. This is so cringy, and I hope you understand what I'm trying to say...

We know Kagami has a thing for hetrosexual couples, but with all the hints that 'Seraph' Mika's body is 'female' then do you think might use that excuse to have Yuu and Mika together but have it still hetrosexual?

Quick explain:

Seraph Mika's body is repeatedly called a girl/woman/female.

Yuu wants Mika to be human again.

Shika might still be able to capture Mika's soul ?

Mika's soul isn't normal.

I dunno if any of that makes sense? but with the whole Mika was supposed to be female at first, I have a feeling...this might what it will be considering how massive MikaYuu is?

um, okay. so i sat on this for a while because well i dont know enough about owari no seraph anymore to answer this. the whole seraph mikaela thing i dont know much.

honestly, anything could happen.

i remember the first yuu calling seraph mikaela a pretty girl? and the others sorta agreed with him? so i guess that is possible? i'm not sure how the fandom will go down if kagami did this - turned mikaela female just to make mikayuu canon.

...it would be hilarious on both sides of the fandom! lol

but again, i don't know. this is interesting, and with how kagami writes owari no seraph, i wouldn't call it much of a reach...but i'm curious if shikama doji can still get mikaela's soul now he is a demon? but now you mention it, i think he probably can in some twisted way considering, like you said, seraph mikaela's body IS in japan and if mikaela becoming demon was the end of that - then why mention the body at all?

hmmm....

i leave it up for others, if they want to add more on - i haven't been reading owari no seraph like i used too, i've probably skimmed things and missed things.

but thank you for the ask. this is very curious, for me at least because well, i can see kagami doing some sort of shit like to bow to the mikayuu fandom and the japanese het couple thing - still...it would be funny as heck!

[doyouremem8erme]

I would love to see a directors cut of the vivisectanne au, it's my favorite fic series of yours (I am very mentally ill)

WOOO this may get longish im just gonna rant abt all sorts of stuff i did in there. under the cut for length and discussion of. the topics of this au! so cw for mentions of vivisection, torture, self harm, and suicidal thoughts, and passages from the fics that may contain descriptions of those. even if youre tagged you dont have to read through all of this. its heavy.

so first off the first chapter was originally all i wanted to write! i heard darcy's line at the end of tbote and i was like. woah i can do something cool with that. however i just.... kept writing. this means each installment is much more cohesive than my usual multichapters i'd published before, since i try to write them all at once before posting!

so it all started with good old vivisectianne. i wanted a bit of a callback to tc&tk with some of the first scenes:

this place, right here, where it took apart marcy's phone, is where it then takes apart anne! why did i say that so cheerfully–

ok heres an actual funny fact

this exchange originally consisted of something like this:

"...you may call us darcy."

"that's cringe."

"YOURE CRINGE!" (immediately stabs anne)

i didnt even rewrite it until i'd finished the entire fic and was rereading it for editing! it just. no longer fit the overall tone whatsoever.

ok chapter 2 comments:

dont have a lot of comments here. basically, when i decided on the length/format i wanted the fic to be (4 chapters each), i chose to have each of the first three chapters be from a different point of view, with the last being sort of a "finale." so here we switch to sasha pov!

And once she does, the robot can do nothing to prevent her from sending a punch into its eye that leaves it sparking on the ground, and Sasha wipes the blood the shattered glass has left on her fist away on her bottom hem of her tunic, and runs through the door.

^ decided to try my hand at foreshadowing stuff for once lmao, since very soon sasha will lose her eye to darcy. the actual eye loss happens offscreen between chapter 2 and 3 but this clues a careful reader in on what may be to come.

this fic was written shortly after the all in promo, so the fight between darcy and sasha is inspired by the theories revolving around that!

when sasha mentions that "olivia told [her] what it did to [marcy]," this is bc i wanted to make sure that sasha knew the basics of what had actually happened to marcy. since they were imprisoned together for a brief time during the events of the first chapter while anne was having a bad time, olivia did a bit more explanation than whatever the heck her warnings in tbote were.

ohohoho time to talk abt one of my favorite chapters... chapter 3 of icduysg!!!

people who have caught on to the pov switching would likely guess that this chapter was marcy pov. however i wanted to write the opening scene to be ambiguous for anyone else, so that the reveal sort of . comes slowly.

She wakes up on the floor of the basement with a stabbing pain in her heart. Or what’s left of it, after everything. She can’t see, she can’t—she scrabbles at her head, fingers glancing off glossy metal, and throws the object covering her face to the ground with a clank. Her hands are covered in blood. There’s a flame-edged scythe on the floor beside her, and Frog she hates that fiery blade because it’s too familiar to one she knows all too well.

the first lines could be a giveaway, but everything that comes afterward makes it more and more clear whose pov this is supposed to be.

“Please, Marcy! I—I forgive you. For everything.” And yet her words hit her like a sword to the back. And she remembers. Fire and pain and blood and dying and waking up and almost safe and claws on her scalp that tear into skin and cold metal restraints and the helmet’s slow descent and pain and screaming and screaming and screaming and orange and lightning and loneliness and darkness and the Core and—

of course i had to take the cheesy way. why not? "i forgive you for everything" / "thank you for everything" stab ME in the chest when i hear them too! rlly loved using the simile there bc it has greater meaning with marcy yknow. the way the return of memories is written in this fic, as seen also in the next chapter, is inspired by some of  nosferatank's incredible prose!

a close reader will notice that something is wrong with marcy as soon as she can't move her arms to hug sasha: she's losing control again throughout this scene. and then, though it isn't explicitly stated, sasha sees something wrong with marcy's eyes. it's marcy pov, she wouldnt be able to look in her own eyes and know that they're orange. the reason marcy remains lucid throughout it regaining control here is that the helmet is gone: i believe this is discussed in the sequel, i'll go through that when i get to it in here lol.

The invasion goes smoothly, she’s told the next time she wakes up. She doesn’t ask how it went, only knows that the castle is back in Amphibia, and that Darcy has pulled her from the tank at last, and that her world has been thoroughly conquered. It’s been about a month since they tried to rescue Marcy, apparently. A month since it took Anne apart to see how her powers worked, callous to her screams of agony.

we start out the finale chapter with a timeskip and another ambiguous pov. it's anne this time, at least at the beginning of the chapter.

and we get the next example of that style of implementing rushing memories:

Pain and screaming and blood hot on lips and pleading-desperate for this to end and flaming heat and obsidian-sharp agony and—

the basment scene with marcy waiting for anne and sasha to go through with their plan is one of my favorites. had a lot of fun with the usage of light:

Light does return, in the form of a streak of yellow light painted against the black.

andrias extends his sword in the darkness of the basement. marcy, of course, is terrified.

this fic by @skibs-scribbles is an influence throughout the last section of the finale of this fic and the tone of the entire sequel! one of my faves.

last note on this fic:

But on the nights when they get to be together, even for a few hours, they sleep in each other's arms, and let the nightmares and tears and phantom screams run through. And then they stare out at the smog-blotted stars over a world that once seemed so bright, like the kids they were before this world broke them.

this is just one of my favorite lines from the fic, im super proud of it. suits being the last line of the fic.

on to sdlgwyd!

as a marcangst lover, i chose to make this entire fic be from marcy's point of view, as she seemed the most interesting character to follow in the au. her guilt, even more intense here than in canon, seemed like an interesting place to pull from, not to mention that she's my favorite character.

a lot of this fic ends up being an allegory for self-harm, given that not only are there themes of it throughout, but the core's methods of torture very much resemble common forms of self harm.

most of the first chapter is just intended to set up the rest of the fic. this means it's establishing how the core and marcy function, the situation anne and sasha are in, etc.

one thing i think it's funny to point out, given that i wrote this before all in:

Sasha jokes, once, early on, when they still think that this may be a temporary arrangement to buy them enough time for an escape, that they now match: the deep, slicing burn on her own chest; the gnarled line of scar tissue mirrored on Marcy’s front and back[.]

look how close i got to manifesting canon! if sasha had been facing away from darcy during that scene in the last fic i wouldve straight up predicted that wild bit in all in lmao.

She deserves it. The Core agrees. And she’s not sure which of them started that line of thought anymore.

this line was surprisingly hard to word right, but i liked what i ended up with. this becomes important throughout the fic: does marcy actually think she deserves this pain, is the core only telling her that, or is it true?

when marcy goes to visit olivia and yunan in the dungeons, we get this line:

She stops in front of where it should be. The cell is drowned in thick shadows, draped over the stone like swaths of gauzy black cloth. 

the "swaths of gauzy black cloth" simile is very much intended to give a sort of funeral, mourning, etc. vibe. it seemed fitting, giving how they've likely been crying over marcy all this time.

She pauses for a glance down at the carbon-fiber bracers she knows are in place around her forearms, covering from palm to elbow in dark, dull-metallic, charcoal-gray, covering the scars that lie there. They can assume it’s only using the chair, the very place where they saw such horrible things happen to her, once again, for all she cares. They don’t need to know what happens when it picks up a glinting blade, the same one it’s used to make the changes it deems necessary for her body so long as it’s shared with a computed mind. 

this is one of the most prominent examples of the overarching allegorical theme of this fic. marcy hides the damage the core has done to her using her own hands. for whatever reason, she doesnt want them to know how it's actually been hurting her.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Is that all she can say anymore? Only those words that dribbled from her lips along with a shower of blood the night she was so violently killed, left to bleed to death with a smoking wound? Will she ever find another way to justify the fact that she’s still alive, ask for forgiveness for her existence, the pain she’s caused?

wanna point out this passage not just bc im absolutely obsessed with how i wrote it but bc. marcy girl. you need help. her mental state is in shambles bc of the suffering the core has caused.

when marcy gets back to the trio's chambers, she overhears anne and sasha discussing plans to escape. the core is not happy about this.

not only is this a pretty deep look into marcy's thoughts, theres another reference to a separate fic! during the "escape lies..." passage, there's this section:

Escape awaits off the edge of the protruding form of that ancient weapon from the top of the highest level of this castle, jutting into the void, high enough, even with the castle resting on the ground. High enough, though she won’t test it, she tells herself (the Core wouldn’t let her die anyway, she knows. It would stop her, or catch her, or do whatever it takes to repair her, bring her to life again, no matter how broken she becomes).

this is a bit of a shoutout to a plot point in beauty and the beasts by @your-local-hurt-comfort-junkie-1, another fic i adore. i wont spoil the exact thing, but if youve read that fic, you likely know what i mean.

another shoutout in this scene is "'We can’t leave.' Her words are not entirely her own." this is of course a reference to awakening by oh geeez: "lately my head's on fire and my voice is not my own..."

the next chapter contains yet another fic shoutout:

this passage is a reference to this evil thing that @maldito-arbol did in the wjh series lmao.

and then of course, inevitably:

And that subconscious wish has been granted. It’s her skin filled with gashes once again, worse than it’s ever drawn them before, her own blood splattering her face as the Core digs deeper and deeper.

...she gets that wish granted.

Not even Olivia and Yunan can help anymore, their words falling upon dulled ears and their touch upon numb skin, like she’ll never perceive the world as brightly as she once did ever again.

core bestie. you need to stop. your host is gonna break if you kepe this up.

the finale chapter of this fic is fun!

we start out with a confusing dive into a scene without context, set up to match marcy's confusion here. eventually, you can figure out what happened: marcy was knocked out by sasha and anne so that they could deal with the core.

after they succeed in their plan, they head off to kill andrias.

“I wanna kill him.” Her voice has a coldness Anne’s never heard from her. And it trembles, because she knows there was a time Andrias truly cared for her. But he’s gone too long letting the Core torment her, pretending he’s blind to the torture.

guess how much i listened to hayloft ii while writing this chapter lol. yeah it was a lot. the emphasis on "her" is of course to clarify that the core has used her voice to speak like this to anne: that's what it did back in the first chapter of icduysg.

By now, Marcy has recovered from the removal of the Core’s data enough to stand, albeit shakily, and most likely soon won’t be able to at all, after the exoskeleton finally gives out when the background functions programmed into her brain stop running.

marcy doesnt have time to confront this right now, but itll come up in the third installment! without the core powering her exoskeleton, she won't be able to walk on her own before long.

a couple scenes in this chapter are inspired by pieces of art i couldnt stop thinking about. here's the first one:

It feels heavy in her hands. She’s never held this before, only a smaller version, crafted for the Core to use in her own grasp. This is the weapon that killed her. This is the weapon that will kill her murderer. 

and the art:

the dialogue in this scene is somewhat inspired by anne's speech in all in: this was written after the finale episodes aired. meanwhile, i tried to emphasize marcy's frazzled mental state through her own dialogue. for example:

she's just not doing so well rn. havent watched arcane since last year but the vibes of this might have jinx killing silco energy??

and then andrias's actual death scene is very likely an obvious reference:

yep, direct shout-out to true colors. marcy's "you brought this upon yourself" is meant to parallel "now look what you've made me do," while "i'm truly sorry for what i did to you" lines up with "i'm sorry for everything."

anne and sasha assisting in holding the sword while marcy stabs andrias is inspired by the other art i mentioned:

and finally the fic ends on a hopeful note that's been missing since the very beginning. i really wanted this to have the same sort of distinctly soft and gentle ending seen often at the end of some epic story, when things return to a status quo. similar tone to the end of adventure time, before the island song montage, or something. a sense of saying goodbye. there's an important detail mentioned in the last section of this fic, but i wont point it out bc it spoils some of the vaugely planned plot points for the next fic in the series!

hope you enjoyed this very deep dive in to the au, this took so long to write lmao.

[lightns881]

DTeam Tumblr Demographics Survey Results (Part 1):

The Gifted Child Syndrome is Real with this One...

*Rubs hands together in preparation for some juicy data and in-depth analysis of the typical member of the DTeam Tumblr community*

Ooooooooh boy! Here we go!

I want to start of by thanking you guys for over 400 responses to the demographics survey! Y’all have no idea how much I appreciate it! We have so much to cover, so I’m going to divide up different sections of the survey into several posts to make it more digestable and do justice to each topic explored in the form! We’re going to start of with, you guessed it, personality types!

Strap yourself in because we’re about to thoroughly dissect your sub-conscious innerworkings and find out how the typical DTeam Tumblr Fan thinks! (And judging by the majority personality types, you guys will probably enjoy it)

The Delicious Data

From the 449 responses we received, this is a pie chart displaying the personality types of all respondents.

Image Description: INFP (40.5%), INTP (15.1%), INFJ (8.9%), INTJ (8.9%), ISFP (6.9%), ENFP (4.2%), ISTP (4.0%), ENTP (3.8%), ESFP (1.6%), ISFJ (1.6%), ENTJ (1.3%), ENFJ (1.3%), ISTJ (1.1%), ESTP (0.4%), ESFJ (0.2%), ESTJ (0%)

In comparison, this is a pie chart displaying the personality type percentages of the population as a whole according to the MBTI website.

Image Description: ISTP (14%), ESFJ (12%), ISTJ (12%), ISFP (9%), ESTJ (9%), ESFP (8%) ENFP (8%), ISTP (5%), INFP (4%), ESTP (4%), INTP (3%), ENTP (3%), ENFJ (2%), INTJ (2%), ENTJ (2%), INFJ (1%)

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sensing a tiny difference here... Oh, right!

INxx’s on the Loose!

It’s funny. When I first found one of the 18+ DTeam fan servers through Tumblr, I asked everyone what their personality type was. I was pleasantly surprised when a lot of them told me they were INFPs like me!

It actually reminded me of MatPat’s (Game Theory) survey for one of his Life Is Strange theories that found the majority personality there was also INFP...

Funny enough, can you guess what the second leading personality on that survey was? The third? The fourth?

You probably guessed it right. MatPat found that out of the fans who responded, the leading majority was INFP while INTPs came in second, INFJs came in third, and INTJs came in fourth. The exact order for the personality types in DTeam Tumblr.

But why is it that some of the rarer personalities of the world are dominating DTeam Tumblr or Game Theory’s fanbase? What is it about these communities that attract the rare introverted Intuitive Perceivers (INxP) and Intuitive Judgers (INxJ) of the world like magnets?

The Gifted Kid Syndrome

To answer this question, first we have to examine our leading personalities. As we can see from the data, INFPs and INTPs make up 55.6% and INFJs and INTJs make up 17.8% of the total respondents. That’s nearly 3/4′s of the DTeam Tumblr population made up of INxx types!

Now, here’s me calling y’all out.

A lot of you probably relate to the quiet kid sitting at the back of the classroom who’s put into some type of TAG, gifted program, or some authority figure has probably called you smart and/or “gifted” at some point in your life. Academics probably came easy to you at one point, maybe they still do.

You’ve probably felt your chest swell up at the shower of compliments about your intelligence and at another... you’ve probably felt like people put you in a pedestal and overrate you so you’re stuck with this inherent fear of failure, and it causes you to completely shut down when the things that came easy to you at one point no longer do so. 

It’s gifted kid syndrome hitting you like a brick to the face. And if it hasn’t yet, oh you’re in for a surprise, honey.

And I’m sure many of you have come across funny, relatable posts like this:

And you want to know why most of you relate?

Image Description: INTP, INTJ, INFP, anf INFJ’s rate the highest in a giftedness per MBTI Type chart

No. You’re not hallucinating. It’s not even a joke at this point. It feels true because it probably is true.

(Granted, the study that captured similar results to this graph is long lost to the internet, but the best source I found with it was a reddit post I will be citing in the reblog.)

Now, my next point is where we find a split.

INFPs and INTPs and their Need to Question Everything (even if it’s about one sentence [insert creator here] said that one time during a 4-hour long stream)

The strongest connection I found between the two leading personalities of DTeam Tumblr is they share Extraverted Intuiting (Ne) as their auxiliary cognitive function.

I’ll use a quote that explains Ne better than I could ever explain it in my own words:

“Extraverted intuition or Ne is very much focused on patterns and making connections from information they gather... Ne dominant users enjoy being able to explore things in a much more open manner, not wanting to feel closed off to the possibilities around them... They are also highly imaginative people, who enjoy being able to come up with unique hobbies and experiences... They are not afraid of imagining things which seem almost impossible to others... [For INFPs,] Ne is what creates this detailed and incredible thoughts process which keeps them busy for long periods of time.”

And another:

“Auxiliary Ne manifests in people constantly questioning the world around them, but unlike ENxPs, they can be more pick and choose about this. But generally, they don’t take people, things and events at face value.“

Now, think about the community you’re in right now. Think about the post you’re reading at the moment.

DTeam Tumblr is full of over-analysis posts, whether about Dream and George’s secret love for each other or about the inherent problems with Dream’s shipbait and gay jokes or theories about what’s going to happen next in the dream SMP lore and the dramatic betrayals and creator’s descend into madness and more theories about sexuality and charts depicting creator’s personalities and what they’d be likely to do in different scenarios and... ooof, I’m out of breath here. You get my point.

DTeam Tumblr is literally a group of ex-gifted or gifted introverted people who love to read or write analysis, theory, and discussion posts about sweaty Minecraft Youtubers because they’re probably too overwhelmed by real life and find joy in obsessing over “dumb” things.

That’s it. That’s literally the post. I might as well end there.

But I won’t. 

Because obsessions is exactly what I want to focus on next.

The Inherent Nature of the INFP and their “Micro-Obsessions”

This is me having a one-to-one conversation with all my INFPs reading this.

Do you sometimes just set your mind on a goal--like, let’s say, writing a book--and you spend so much time obsessing over it to the point where you burn out and suddenly it never sees the light of day because you move onto your next goal or obsession because now you’re getting ready to launch your freelance website so you can start a business on [insert new hobby here]?

Or do you just suddenly find a fandom or a show or a channel you really enjoy and you spend the next few months doing nothing but engaging with it and reading fanfiction and drawing fan art or making dumb analysis posts on your main Tumblr account where suddenly you get an influx of followers from that community and now people are expecting you to just post about MCYT!?

Oh, sorry, I got a little carried away at the end there...

Anyhow, my point is, do you ever develop an obsession over something all the sudden only for it to just disappear when you find something new or just fall into the deep crevices of your mind only for it to maybe reemerge a few years later after you get a deep sense of nostalgia remembering it?

I call them micro-obsessions. And I recently found out, I’m not the only one who does this!

Here’s another quote for you: 

“According to Carl Jung’s theory of cognitive functions, when an INFP makes a decision, Ne comes in second to another process known as Introverted Feeling (Fi). Fi does not use logic to make a decision. It uses how we feel about the decision according to our values. In other words, it asks, “Which choice feels right for me?”

Ne, on the other hand, craves new ideas and experiences to explore, which causes INFPs to always be on the lookout for something novel.

Unfortunately, INFPs can get stuck in a loop, going back and forth between their Ne and Fi. They search to understand their values by constantly trying new things. They ask themselves, “Does this feel right?” then throw it over their shoulder as they move on to something else.”

So, you’re probably asking right about now, Light, how the heck does any of this have anything to do with the Dream Team and MCYT!?

Well, my friend, it has EVERYTHING to do with the Dream Team and MCYT and DTeam Tumblr as a whole.

Because INxx’s are predisposed to end up in places like this--fandoms on Tumblr, channels that speculate whether Mario is evil, watching dramatic Minecraft smp wars and elections as opposed to looking at the news that depicts Murphy’s Law as 2020′s new favorite epigram. 

The introvert in them causes them to prefer socializing in small communities online where they’re not forced to engage in conversations if they don’t want to or put into uncomfortable situations where they have to talk to that one friend of their friend who wants to make meaningless small chat.

Their Intuition causes them to wonder into places like Tumblr where they can engage in deep discussions about their newest obsessions, and they won’t be judged for writing a 500+ word post about why Dream’s shipbait tactics are a genius algorithm strat or simping over sweaty Minecraft boys.

DTeam Tumblr is a safe haven for INFPs and INTPs who might be placed in the “other” category or marked as weird for being interested in “childish” entertainment or being different from the general population overall, whether that’d be sexuality, point of view, age, gender, etc. A place where you can fully be yourself and not have to worry about disappointing people.

INFPs are predisposed for drowning themselves in their micro-obsessions to avoid all of the madness in the world--even if that means giggling like a little girl while reading memes about your favorite Minecraft YouTube creators.

That is a deep-dive into the mind of a typical DTeam Tumblr user. What do you think? Is it accurate at all? Is it completely off? Let me know in the comments!

And with that, I digress. I’m not sure whether I’ll be covering general demographics next week or diving into the topic of ships (could be a mix of both), but I will be posting about it eventually, so make sure to hit the follow if you got to the end of this post and enjoyed it or learned something new from it!

Friendly reminder that this survey and post is in no way supposed to be taken 100% seriously. These are just the ramblings of a math major INFP with too much time on her hands and way too big of an obsession for MCYT. My asks are always open for literally anything, whether if you want to ask me about this or any DNF related subject, my own opinions, or just criticize the whole of this post and tell me it’s complete trash! I’ll answer as long as it’s appropriate!

And, again, thank you everyone who filled out the survey. Without y’all, this post wouldn’t be possible. I really enjoyed writing it! Adios!