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#do literally ANYTHING besides make up problems online to be outraged about PLEASE
x-v4mp3y3lin3r-x · 2 years
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I consistently see more people defending the leather community from non-existent outrage than I see people defending trans people from REAL laws being passed in SO MANY STATES RN. y'all are so ready to say "hating kink is a step towards outlawing queers" BUT THEY ARE LITERALLY OUTLAWING QUEERS RIGHT FUCKING NOW AND IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR STUPID LITTLE DISCOURSE
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honeyabyss · 3 years
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Phone calls after Mc returned to the human realm
Lucifer:
this man is stubborn, calling you would be like admitting he's gone soft and his pride does not allow that!
so he refuses to call for the first few weeks, keeping himself busy with work of which he has enough anyway
due to all his student council work, a few other tasks of Diavolo and on top of that the usual shenanigans of his brothers, he quickly becomes very stressed
he's at his breaking point and needs someone to talk to so he can release some of his stress before he takes it out on someone else
so he goes to your old room and starts talking as soon as he enters it, only to stop confused when he doesn't see you in the room, remembering only now you left for the human realm
disappointed he sits down onto the bed and curls the blanket around himself
"Their scent is almost gone...Soon it'll be as if they were never here"
he closes his eyes, sighs softly and makes his decision
"Mc? I hope I didn't wake you. I simply thought a conversation would be nice, it's been a while..."
Lucifer's call is pretty casual, he talks about his day, work and his troublemaker brothers, it almost feels like any other day before just this time it is over phone
he does not want to admit he misses you, a) because he'd seem weak and b) he fears what admitting it will do to him, he might just miss you even more
BUT while saying goodbye he accidentally lets a "I miss you" slip, his breathing stops shortly realizing his mistake, he is about to apologize when you say it back
he smiles softly, genuinely relieved about your shared sentiment and whispers "I'll call you again soon then" before hanging up
from then on he calls you every evening and you better jump right away and pick up at the first ringing, because this man is lonely without you
Mammon:
"Congratulations! You're one of our lucky winners of our monthly Devil-Lottery. We'll have to confirm your bank account number with the one given to us when you agreed to participating in the lottery. Would you be so kind to slowly repeat the number-"
this greedy demon will quite literally try to scam you, only to absolutely panic when you hang up on him
he will instantly call you back, constantly adjusting his glasses, a nervous habit he acquired over the years
"H-hey...Mc...uhm, it's me your favourite demon!"
he is relieved you picked up, as it means you didn't block him right away, he stumbles over his words trying to find an excuse why he just tried to scam you
"Ah you know I only did that to test you, you've passed nobody scams my human! You're my amazing human after all! That's why I love you...u-uh I-i mean...nothing...that was a static you must have misheard..."
when you tell him you knew it was him as you recognized his voice, he'll be outraged, screaming into his D.D.D (and probably later getting punched by Lucifer for being so loud)
"What do you mean you already knew?! You dared to hang up on The Great Mammon?
He gets a bit sulky by your reaction, so how about playing into his obvious lie of testing you to make him feel better again
besides trying to scam you Mammon also called to (not so sneakily) check on your wellbeing
now that you're gone he constantly worries about you and he can't do much to help, but if you were actually in need of help due to whatever, trust me he'd fight Lucifer himself for permission to go to you
he'll call you as often as he can, sometimes with a few days of a break in between, asking you about your life and also letting you in on his upcoming money making schemes...please don't tell Lucifer about them
Mammon has learned his lesson though, he'll never try to scam you again, he couldn't bare it if you were to block or ignore his calls
Leviathan:
phone calls? Why? You two can just talk about the in-game talk function of this new online game you play, but no real world talk while playing that ruins the immersion!
Levi will rarely call you as he just doesn't feel comfortable enough to talk with you about normie stuff for too long
he normally just spam writes you, ding, ding, ding, one message after another coming in without you being able to respond quick enough
so if gets too much and you decide to just call him so you can have an actual chance of responding, Levi just panics and almost drops his D.D.D
"Mc? D-did you accidentally hit the c-call button? N-no? I-i see no I love you too!!....AAAAAAAh I-i meant I l-l-love t-talking to you too...hehehe w-why would a yucky o-otaku like me say something like that"
poor boy is so nervous he'll say something stupid and will stutter a lot the first few times you call him, he is just not used to talking on the phone
he will laugh nervously over everything and sometimes there'll be a phase of awkward silence, but please don't point it out, Levi is already stressed enough as it is
once he gets used to calls, he'll surprisingly suggests to have a phone call while both of you are watching the new episode of an anime, so he'll be able to talk to you as if you're right next to him, which works out mediocre at first, you have to tell him to be a bit quieter a few times but besides that it's quiet nice
"Ooooooowhooooooah!!! Did you see that? That was amazing, I wish I had these superpowers, I'd save you of every danger like a real hero! W-what do you mean I'm already your hero?"
Yes, you saw and heard it, and your neighbours probably heard Levi...
on the rare occasions Levi calls you he'll often asks you for favours like to buy him this exclusively in the human realm sold limited edition game, of course he isn't like his scummy brother Mammon who'll constantly asks for things and he'll also make it up by sending you stuff you can only get on Akuzon
so calls don't happen very often, but neither if you really mind, you'll still be in contact through messages and games
Satan:
Satan will be very proper about calling you, he'll check through messages if you're fine with him calling you, so he can be sure you have time and he doesn't bother you
Satan never jumps into a conversation right away (unless he is angry), he makes sure to show interest in you and hold a bit small talk, asking about your day, how you're doing and so on
you talk about many different things with him mostly about your shared interests, but Satan is willing to listen to you ramble about hobbies he doesn't have as well
one thing you two quickly come to do was have book club sessions over phone
"I wish you were still here Mc. I miss my book discussion partner, nobody here has as interesting opinions and views as you..."
back in Devildom you two would both read a book and afterwards discuss your thoughts, and you found a way too keep doing just that
you both write about books, decide on one to read for the week and would than have a phone call where you just talk for hours about the piece of literature you've read
now that you're back in the human realm, the book choices are even bigger as you can read human books as well, you just have to send a copy to Satan, sometimes Barbatos will be nice and pick a book up and deliver it to Satan, or to you if it's the other way around with a demon book
"Oh? No, you're right. I haven't thought about it like that yet...your thoughts are so fascinating!"
Satan will shower you in praise for every little detail that you noticed yet he missed. he genuinely enjoys your phone calls, and though he wouldn't admit it, sometimes he anticipates your call more than the actual book
even though there now is a bigger distance between you two he still feels as close to you as before, not much has changed for him and he knows he'll be able to see you again soon, he'll just have to be patient
"Next week, same time? I'm looking forward to talking to you again. Take care until then!"
Asmodeus:
"Oh my Lord! You won't believe what just happened!!!"
no greeting or alike, just straight into the discussion
whenever something gossip worthy happens, Asmo is already dialling your number to spill the tea and keep you updated on any Devildom related gossip, even if it won't help you much, it's a nice thought of him keep you in the loop
those are only the spontaneous call though, obviously you can't take these all the time...you still have a life of your own...
you two actually call each other every day at the same time, plus/minus a couple minutes, the water in the tub has to be filled first...yeah Asmo likes to talk you while he is taking his afternoon bath
"Hahh it's so relaxing, warm water caressing my beautiful skin, and the bath bomb today smells so good! I wish you could smell it, or even better I wish we could bathe together!"
*water sloshing noises intensified*
Asmo...no....yes...maybe...just stop, you'll fluster Mc!
"No really! I miss having you here, I'll pamper you all day the next time I'll get to see you. You must already be starved of my beauty, but don't worry my dear, I'm just as starved of seeing your lovely face!"
what to talk about while he is bathing? Anything really if it's about your day, any complains or whatever, just expect a few innuendos of him...that's nothing new though
seriously though Asmo is the guy to talk to about any of your problems, he will listen and try to come up with a solution for you, even if he seems a bit narcissistic sometimes he really cares about you, so use your phone calls as therapy from time to time
"Oh darling, don't worry it'll be okay! I'm here to help...now tell me every detail so I can come up with a plan! I'll always be there for you, no matter what!"
Beelzebub:
"*munch munch* This one is really good! Mc you should try some...oh"
now that you're back in the human realm, Beels snack times are very lonely, he has just gotten so used to your presence, even sharing his food is normal by now
and let's be honest Beels snack time is 24/7 so he misses you a lot
he feels the urge to call you every five minutes and sometimes even forgets to eat while phone is ringing and he is waiting for you to pick up
but you can't constantly talk with him over phone so the calls often end up on your voicemail where Beel tells you about all the different kind of foods he ate that day
when Belphie catches wind of his twin constantly pestering you, he hides Beels D.D.D so he can't call you all the time
when you're actually able to pick up on his call, Beel will be so happy you can quite literally hear his huge grin while he's excitedly talking about his current snack
"Have you ever tried spicy bat-wings? There opened a new restaurant in town and it's really good!! Next time you're here I'll invite you there. Oh but what if it closes before you're back...ah you'll just have to visit soon!"
though Beel is often disappointed when you don't pick up, he would never hold it against you, he knows he calls quite a lot, but he just misses you and tipping a message while he eats is harder than putting his D.D.D on speaker and talking to you
of course he doesn't only talk about food, he also tells you about how his brothers are doing and how his workout was, or what things he has planned to do at the weekend, all in all Beel is just super happy to share everything of his life with you
on rare occasions he'll call you and be untypically quiet, that happens when he had a fight with his twin, it's not often but sometimes it happens and his first instinct is to call you, because he feels like he can tell you everything so he is very comfortable and trusting with you
"I miss you a lot, you know...but I also know that you think about me daily, every time your stomach rumbles you'll be reminded of me and that makes me happy, I also think about you every time I'm hungry! Hm? But I'm always hungry? That's right! You're always on my mind!"
Belphegor:
Listen, his sleeping schedule is very tight, you can't just expect him to call you!
he will call you so rarely and if you call him it might just happen that he is sleeping and has phone on silent...or he's just to lazy to walk to his phone, or he is just not in the mood to talk... he takes any excuse to not be on the phone
Belphie does like talking to you, but he is not the greatest at long conversations so he like messages more
sometimes when he can't seem to fall asleep, he will be the one to call you...in the middle of the night...and you better pick up or he gets annoyed
"What took you so long? I thought you wanted to talk more often and then you leave me hanging for a whole minute? Doesn't matter I would have waited longer with you...."
he is mostly silent through a phone call, his main reason to call you is because he like to listen to you talk, it's calming to him and if he calmer then he might be able to fall asleep again
so don't expect an amazingly deep conversation...
"Mhmmm...hm? Yeah I'm still there. I'm listening keep talking, I love your voice..."
he'll bring up a topic from time to time so you have an inspiration about what to talk about, but most of the times he just lazily hum or making acknowledging noises so you know he is still listening
"Zzz..."
he will to 100% fall asleep while being on the phone with you, that doesn't mean you're boring, but that he trusts you so much that he is comfortable enough to let his guard down
Diavolo:
"Good afternoon! How was the week of my favourite human?...ah don't tell Solomon I said that hahaha"
as the future king of hell, he is a busy man, but he still manages to give you a call once a week, to the same time you two would have normally had your weekly afternoon tea meeting in the castle
with the exchange year over there is not much about your classes to talk about left, but Dia is just as excited about any other topic you decide to talk about, be it the most mundane thing he loves it!
"Oh so you went grocery shopping? That must be fun! Barbatos does it all the time, though I suppose you buy less things...I'd like to see a human market at some point, I wonder if they're very different from ours...oh but I wouldn't really able to tell I suppose, Barbatos and you would need to point out the differences!"
this man can talk without taking a break for hours...you think Asmo is bad? Prepare for Diavolo...
but seriously it never gets boring with him, because he somehow finds good and fun stuff in every activity, I swear give him a vacuum and watch him clean you're whole flat with the enthusiasm of a child getting presents on Christmas
the work of a future king consists of so much paperwork, Dia will have only few events of his week to tell you about, if there is something to talk about there is a high chance it has to do with the brothers
so he'd much rather just sip his tea and listen to you, he'll ask you loads of questions though about anything he doesn't know
sometimes you two forget the time and Barb sadly has to remind you to come to a stop for now
"Mc? Did I wake you? If so I'm terribly sorry...would you be up to talk for a little bit more? I'm not feeling too tired yet"
surprise night time calls from Dia where you'll have to speak silently or Barbatos might reprimand Diavolo for staying up all night and being tired the next day, Dia doesn't regret it ever though, he likes to talk you a lot!
Barbatos:
Barbatos is always busy and his schedule can often suddenly change with a new whim of his master, so he can't exactly have a scheduled call with you
so you might not get to hear of him very often
BUT he made it a habit to call you when he is on duty to do the dishes, the chore is somewhat boring to him with no one to distract him
so he calls you and if you pick up, he'll put you on speaker and talk to you about whatever comes to mind while his hands wash one after another of the expensive porcelain of the royal household
"I've bought this new tea which is said to be really nice, it can even be enjoyed cold apparently. It seems to have to just the right amount of sweetness to not get bitter when drank cold...you can still add sugar for extra sweetness, though I believe you're already sweet enough as it is"
no matter what you decide to talk about Barbatos always has at least some knowledge about it, so it's beneficial for both of you, he can tell you the things he knows and you tell him your stuff
"I hope I'm not bothering you too much? There is quite a lot to do today... so it might take some more time..."
you will never get to know that Barb has actually already finished the dished a few minutes ago, but just isn't ready to say goodbye yet
the rest of the employees will be able handle the castle for a bit longer without him, meanwhile he can take a well deserved tea break and listen to you
he very much enjoys the fact he found a way to have some time with you while theoretically having to be at work, as long as he is able to finish all the tasks of his daily schedule, he doesn't feel too bad about his not so legal break
"I fear I'll have to get back to work now, but I loved talking to you today! I hope you enjoyed it as well. I'll talk to you again soon!"
Solomon:
Though Solomon returned to the human realm with you, you haven't heard much of him, being a wise old man sorcerer must be very time consuming
so calls of Solomon might be rare but that doesn't mean you don't write messages every now and then, when he calls you though it's always about something interesting or important to share, he talks about those things rather verbally, the best option for him would be in person, but that doesn't always work so a phone call is the second best option
"My lovely apprentice, how is your studying going? I've found the tome we were talking about last time you were interested in...it took some research to find which sorcerer had it but I brought it back for you. How about I'll drop by you next week? I can help you with your studying then, the tome is written in an older version of the language it might be easier if we do it together!"
Solomon can simply not sit still, so while you're on the phone, he is always tinkering at something and the background noises are sometimes quite peculiar...
Was that a pig squeaking? Are you sure you should be brewing a potion while being on the phone? Isn't it distracting?
Oh Lord was that an explosion?!
"Hmm? Oh yeah...I`m cooking dinner right now! It was just a small explosion though, you know the ones that are regularly happen in the kitchen. Why? Was my cute student worried about me?~ heheh alright, alright, I'll stop teasing you...for now!"
no matter how chaotic, teasing or busy Solomon is though, if you call him and are in need of help, he'll drop everything and run to you
he knows how hard it can be when studying magic, not to mention that the studies are difficult, the constant hiding of any magic in front of other humans is also very nerve wrecking, sometimes you feel like giving up and going back to your normal life, back to your non-magical very human friends that are blissfully unaware of everything happening around them, but you know you could never forget and act as if nothing happened, you'd also miss your new not so normal friends, so when times get hard Solomon will rush to you and comfort you in person or at least calm you down on phone until he is able to go to you
if that happens he is more likely to call you every two to three days just to check in on you
"Hey how is my strong and beautiful fellow human doing? Feeling better yet? Need a shoulder to lean on? I'm at your flat in 10 minutes..."
Simeon:
Simeon is a daily caller as well, he's gotten so used to seeing you every day that he feels quite restless if he doesn't get to hear your voice at least once a day
he asked you to recommend at what time he should call, he doesn't want to restrict you in your daily life, so you both came to the conclusion after dinner would be perfect, as both of you are free for the rest of the day then
He will often write a bit on his TSL scripts, just some notes and inspirations he comes up while talking to you
"How was your day my little lamb? You haven't overworked yourself right? Tell me if you ever need help!"
though Simeon would definitely have things to complain about with how Michael is working him to the bone, he'd rather not worry you so instead he tells you about how Luke is doing and evasively answers you questions about himself
"Oh me? Ah yes, I'm doing fine, just doing the usual archangel stuff you know...Ah please do not worry Mc, my dear! Nothing dangerous!"
over the time his TSL notes turn into random scribbles, rhymes and poems and every now and then something that looks suspiciously like your name
Sometimes Luke crashes the call and wants to speak with you as well so Simeon tries to put the phone on speaker only to end up ending the call and Luke getting frustrated with Simeon and doing it himself
then again Simeon also just accidentally hangs up on you mid conversation, because his fingers hit the button without him noticing, he'll get so confused when you cut off in the middle of your sentence and thinks something has happened to you, only to be relieved when you call back a few seconds later
Simeon is very interested in your day and how you doing, asking you many questions and encouraging you to keep talking
"Oh no please keep talking! You're not overwhelming me at all, in fact I like listening to your voice, it puts even the most melodic voice of an angel into the shadows...hahaha did I make you embarrassed? I apologize, I didn't mean to, I was only telling you my honest opinion!"
Simeon is quite the flatterer, but he often does not notice it, he simply tries to be nice, so a call with him leaves you flustered and stuttering ever now and then, but he is just as quick to blush at a honest and heartfelt compliment
Luke:
Luke might be an angel, but he is still low ranking and therefore has less assignments, besides studying to become a great angel and doing some minor tasks for Michael, he is relatively free
he often spends his free time in the kitchen constantly trying to improve his baking, now after the exchange year not only to impress Michael and Simeon but also Barbatos, maybe a bit Beel and definitely you!
but as Simeon is still working at these times, he gets somewhat lonely so he'll try calling you to keep him some company
Luke has this habit of speaking the recipes out loud to remember the steps better and be able to able to make them from memory, he got that tip from Barbatos, but he still has his moments where he gets stuck and forgets what to do next, you can notice that when he gets silent and concentrates on trying to remember
"Ah right that was it! I almost forgot about the eggs! Good thing you were here...or well on the phone hehe! You always remember this stuff, you're so amazing!"
when you tell him you simply looked it up in the internet for him, he'll get a bit sulky that he now basically cheated, but with your reassurance that he is already great and can remember so many other steps, he is quickly back to his happy little angel self
"Michael let me help with his conference today I was assistant record keeper today, one day I'll be able to do it alone, bit they're talking so much and so fast...I think I still need a couple centuries until I'm fully ready, but I'm working on improving! You should also try to improve your skills daily! Even a small bit of practice is good! Though I think you're perfect already!"
Luke most definitely learned his flattering from Simeon... he talks about many different things on the phone but repeating topic is Michael...just talking to you makes his day and later he'll tell everything Simeon and he smiles so brightly while he reports to him, please keep talking to him a lot!
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bluegarners · 3 years
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“Damian takes a pic with a mall santa, chaos ensues”~ anon
For 12 Days of Batfam prompts
“I do not see why traveling here was necessary.”
“Aw, don’t be like that, Dami! We’re going gift shopping!”
“Clearly. However, actually going to this cesspool of idiots is ridiculous. The internet exists for a reason, Richard. It is about time you learned how to use it.”
“That takes all the fun out of it though,” Dick pouts, landing a hand in Damian’s perfectly combed hair. “It’s practically like a tradition at this point. Besides, it’s a lot more fun to actually look at what you’re buying and not just try and guess what it’s like through a screen. What if it wasn’t like you wanted? What then?”
“Returns exist as well,” Damian grumbles, swatting at the hand still latched firmly to his scalp. “If the purchase is void, then a simple return is all that is necessary to begin again.”
“For once,” Tim sighs, cringing a bit at the obnoxious mall-music and over enthusiastic sales people trying to approach him, “I agree with the brat. This is uncomfortable and just… over the top. I know what I’m looking for, and reviews on products help determine if the thing is actually good. There isn’t any reason to be here, Dick.”
“On the contrary, my beloved brothers,” Dick grins, mouth stretching impossibly wide as his eyes land on something in the distance, “There is actually a fantastic reason for us to be here.”
As if deciding on something, Dick nods to himself before quickly turning around and clapping his hands together. “Okay, here’s the plan. We’re already here and it would be a waste to drive back after it took us an hour to get here, so we are staying.”
Cue the simultaneous groans.
“Ah, ah, ah,” Dick reprimands. “Let me finish. You guys can do anything you want. It’s the freakin mall, so it’s got other stuff than just stores. I don’t care what you do, as long as it’s legal. You could even just hang out in the food court, as long as you’re doing something. I need to do a couple things, but I will call you when I’m done and we’ll rendezvous somewhere.”
“You are leaving me here?” Damian asks, surprised. “With Drake of all people?”
Dick leans down to ruffle his hair again, but Damian moves away, a dark scowl edging its way onto his brow. “No, I refuse to be left alone with this imbecile.”
“As if I’d want to babysit you in the first place,” Tim mutters, glaring at the youngest.
Dick smiles pleasantly, a contrast to the way he squeezes both of their shoulders tightly, pulling them closer to him. 
“We’re not going to have any problems, right boys?” he asks sweetly, eyes crinkling. “Because it would be a shame if I had to make use of that lovely return policy on all the gifts I had planned this year.”
“Do you take me for a child-”
“Seeing as this is the last week I have left in Gotham, it would be quite the disappointment if I didn’t get to train surf with either of you before I leave again too.”
Damian shuts his mouth quickly, the idea of banning dual patrol before the eldest’s departure more threatening than lost gifts. 
“I don’t like train surfing,” Tim says smugly, crossing his arms in victory, “and I don’t like playing babysitter.”
Dick slowly tilts his head towards him, and the strain in his smile is enough to make Tim wither a bit. 
“All I’m asking for is maybe an hour of alone time while I get some stuff done. You don’t have to do anything together, you don’t have to go shopping if you’re so adamant on doing it online, and you don’t have to eat. Just please stick together. That’s all. Please, Tim.”
His resolve lasts all of four seconds before it crumples, and Tim looks to the side as he groans out a forlorn, “Fine.”
“Great!” Dick exclaims, an easy smile blooming back onto his face. “I’ll see you guys in an hour.”
And just like that, Dick disappears into the crowd, leaving behind two very disgruntled boys in his steed.
They stand there, refusing to acknowledge one another’s presence, before Tim sighs again and thinks, Well, might as well be a big brother. Holiday spirit and all that jazz.
“Okay,” he starts, half-way turning to face the youngest again, “Is there anything you want to do?”
Damian doesn’t say a word.
“Any stores?”
Silence.
“They, uh, have a movie theater in here. Any movies?”
Damian still refuses to open his mouth.
Well, fuck me, I guess, Tim bemoans, having the inability to think of anything worse to do than spend his Saturday afternoon looking after the gremlin in his charge.
Suddenly, Damian turns on his heel and begins walking away. Tim frowns, chancing a quick glance behind him to see if Dick was secretly watching them and if he could make a break for it, but decides against it at the last second. A happy Dick Grayson was infinitely easier to deal with rather than a disappointed one.
Everyone knew disappointment was worse than anger. 
He follows Damian quietly, keeping his distance and sidestepping the insane amount of people and sellers, all looking to get something. Tim doesn’t hate people, per-say. He finds them fascinating at times, but when he’s not looking to be fascinated, he just finds them uncomfortable to be around. Noisy, touchy, and all around obnoxious. There were precious few people Tim could say he liked to be around, and these strangers in the enormous mall were not them.
Damian walked with purpose, easily evading others and taking turns as if he knew where he was going. Perhaps he did, but Tim can’t recall a time where any of them actually frequented the mall often enough to know where things were. At least without looking at a map or asking an employee.
A minute later and Damian vanishes from sight. In a blink, he’s gone from the endless swirl of people and Tim panics slightly. How does someone lose a child so quickly? How is that possible? He was literally right in front of him, Tim had his gaze locked on the green hoodie, but it’s as if the brat was made of air. Poof, gone.
He pauses, turning this way and that in search of the elusive Wayne. It was unfortunate that the brat was shorter than the average 13 year old, if only by half an inch, but now was not the time to goad over heights. Tim is tempted to just text Dick and say he lost Damian, but hearing that in his head, after literally five minutes of being alone, does not sound like a fantastic idea. He can practically predict the lecture that would follow, words of, “Come on, I know you guys don’t get along super well, but he’s your brother,” and “I was gone for all of two seconds- how did he escape so easily?”
Tim groans, a common thing he’s been doing ever since they stepped into the epitome of capitalism, and resigns himself to continuing the search. Oh, he was so going to beat the brat during their next spar. This entire thing was not worth the discounts.
.
.
.
Damian smirks as he watches Drake fiddle around like a fool, searching blindly for him. If Drake had actually been paying attention, he would have seen Damian step into the small candle store to the right, hiding behind an outrageous depiction of Saint Nick practically shoving some holiday scent down his throat. 
As it were, though, Drake was a twit with half the brains of a goldfish, and Damian feels a sense of satisfaction wash over him as the older teen walks away in the opposite direction. 
He was free and alone. Perfect.
Well, not really.
Damian had agreed to go to the mall in the first place on the condition that it would just be he and Richard. It had sounded somewhat enjoyable, Richard hinting at some sort of surprise, but he was greatly displeased at the sight of another figure waiting for them in the car. Of all the people in the world to choose from. Of all the available and useless ignoramuses out there, Richard just had to ask Drake to come along.
Of course, he immediately protested because he had been promised that it would just be the two of them, but Richard insisted and used that horribly childish face with wide eyes and saddened sulk and giving in, at that point, was the only wise decision Damian could make from then on. In no way did he plan on spending this hour with Drake, awkwardly attempting conversation and suggestions that sounded boring enough to sleep to.
So, his plan of action was simple and executed flawlessly. All he had to do for the next 50 minutes was stay out of sight of both Drake and Richard, and the rest of that time was his to do with as he pleased.
He had already chosen gifts to present later on in the week, there was no need to do extra shopping, so all there really was to do was explore. 
Which is exactly what he did for the next forty minutes before he felt his phone begin to vibrate in his back pocket. He pulls it out, squinting at the caller ID of Grayson.
He lets it ring for a few seconds, some part of him thinking the wait as some sort of pay-back for betraying his promise, and answers on the last ring.
“Damian?” Richard says, urgency coloring his voice.
Instantly, Damian is paying more attention. “Yes? What is it?”
“I need you to meet me at the center, it’s important.”
“The center?” Damian mutters, scanning the crowded walkways for a map. “Why? What is happening?”
“I’ll fill you in when you get here, okay? Just get here as fast as possible.”
“Affirmative.”
Richard hangs up first and Damian begins searching for the nearest wall-map. He finds one and tsks when he sees he’s in the far west region of the mall, the center, if he walked like a normal person, taking upwards of about five minutes to reach.
He’d been given no details, nothing except the urgent lilt in Richard’s voice, a dead give away to how nervous he was. Nervous about what though? What could possibly make Nightwing frantic in an area like this? It must be something mildly bad, or at least dangerous for civilians, for Richard to call him. Crowd control possibly.
He hadn’t heard anything other than the usual noise of the populace, so Damian rules out a fire or some maniac shooting. There doesn’t seem to be an urgency in the way the crowd shifts, no clear tell for panic. 
His phone vibrates again and Damian immediately answers.
“Where are you?” Richard asks, that same nervousness pitching his voice.
“I am near a clothing store: Urban Outfitters,” he responds, picking up his pace slightly.
“Hurry,” Richard pleads. “You need to be here in two minutes or less or else I might- just hurry, please. When you reach the center, there will be a large Christmas tree off to the right. I’m over there. Find me when you get here.”
“Wait, Richard-” but Damian can’t get anything else in before the older man hangs up again.
The vagueness of the situation begins to worry Damian as well, doing as asked and trying his best to weave in between people and their annoying need to create a stiff, horizontal line wherever they walked. He curses when a little girl holding an absurdly shaped stuffed animal darts out in front of him, oblivious to the obstruction she’s caused.
She trips and falls, slapping into the smooth tile. Damian is tempted to walk around her, unmoved by her pitiable cries for her clumsiness, but when he glances back and sees no one else, no parent or sibling or literally any other bystander willing to help her, he rolls his eyes and turns back around. He holds out a hand and pulls the little girl to her feet, her tears silenced by the strange act of kindness.
“Where are your parents?” he asks gruffly, anxious as the precious seconds tick by.
“Uhhhh….I don’t know.”
I should’ve kept walking, Damian thinks to himself.
.
.
.
Tim is practically giddy with excitement. Dick stands behind him, arms crossed and peering over the heads of countless other parents and children, in search of Damian.
After having wandered around in a vain search for the brat, Tim had finally given in and texted Dick, apology in tow, when Dick had told him to meet him in the center of the mall. There, Tim had spotted the eldest standing in a long line filled with kids no older than eight and tired parents, disheveled and attempting to keep their children’s hair neat.
As soon as he’d tapped on his shoulder, Dick had reared around, the biggest shit-eating grin on his face as he said, “It’s tradition to get a picture with Santa.”
Tim less than fondly recalls his own picture with the infamous mall Santa, the old man smelling of cigarettes and too spicy cologne to mask it. All the bat-kids had taken a photo with the cheap Santa at some point or the other, Tim having been the oldest to do so at fifteen. Dick had taken his when he was ten, and Jason at eleven. 
However, once he registers the actual words that had come out of Dick’s mouth, Tim feels something close to euphoria rise in his chest as he now understands it was the brat’s turn to sit on off-brand Santa’s lap and have his picture taken. Oh, would that be a sight to behold. Chaos to be sure. Most likely some screaming as well. A lot of protest and cursing. Maybe even some tears.
A sight to behold.
“I knew you guys wouldn’t stick together,” Dick explains, “So I figured I’d call you over here earlier. Then, I’ll call Damian once we’re close to the front and act like it’s an emergency so he’ll have no choice but to come quickly.”
Tim was impressed. “You know,” he says, eyeing Dick, “You’re a lot more evil than everyone thinks.”
“The term you’re looking for is evil mastermind, Timmy.”
“Uh huh,” Tim jokes, excitement building in his bones as he notices they’re only two spots away from what is destined to be the greatest moment of his life. 
“Look! I see him!” Dick exclaims, pointing in the far distance.
Indeed, there was Damian in his green hoodie, half-jogging, half-walking as he headed towards the Christmas tree Dick had directed him to.
“We’re next,” Tim says anxiously, glancing at the teenager dressed as an elf, who was probably wondering why the two of them were standing in a line meant for children.
“It’s fine,” Dick reassures, his own thrill building. “He’ll be here.”
And, as if one cue, because malls are where miracles happen, Damian calls out, “Richard!”
Dick waves him over, compulsion in every movement of his arm. “Hurry, Dami!”
The teenager elf is now guiding them into the “Miracle Circle” and Dick yanks at the sleeve of Damian’s hoodie before he can even register what’s happening. Tim has to keep a hand over his mouth in order to stop himself from snickering at the bewildered look on the youngest’s face, eyes blown wide as he takes in the bright lights and tinsel.
“Richard,” he growl-whispers, “What is this?”
“Tradition,” Dick answers, tugging him closer to the overweight man sitting on the massive throne. “And it’s time you partake in it. I let you get away from it last year because I lost track of time, but not this year. This year, Dami, is where you finally experience,” he leans in closer, nearly whispering, “the joys of a mall Santa.”
“No,” Damian says, aghast as Dick pulls him closer and closer to the center. “No, I refuse. Unhand me this instant.”
He is powerless though against Dick’s firm grasp and excellent navigation skills. Everyone is watching. Everyone is staring.
“Hello there, little one,” mall Santa booms, arms out stretching as he reaches for Damian. “Come sit on Santa’s lap and tell me what you’d like for Christmas.”
“Richard,” Damian pleads, struggling as he eyes the suspicious fake beard, “If you do this, I will never forgive you.”
“I’m sorry, Dami,” Dick amends solemnly, a lie written all over his face. “I have to. It’s tradition.”
Faster than even Damian can react, Dick is sweeping him off his feet and plopping him onto the lap of a complete stranger.
“What’s your name?” mall Santa asks, Damian recoiling at the rank breath.
“Let me go,” he demands.
“Oh ho ho,” mall Santa chuckles, stomach jostling like a gross bowl of jelly. “We haven’t taken our picture yet!”
Mall Santa points a little off to the right, and it is with horror does Damian spot not only Richard, but Drake, Father, and Pennyworth aiming cameras at him.
Drake waves at him, shit-eating grin plastered shamelessly on his face. Richard is cooing through his phone, oo-ing and awe-ing at the scene. Father looks at least a little bit sympathetic, pity spelled out over his face as he watches his youngest son try to free himself from the mall Santa’s surprisingly strong grip. Pennyworth takes one picture, quickly putting away his phone. 
Damian is sure that the one picture is enough to spell doom for the rest of his life.
“You know,” mall Santa whispers, nearly suffocating Damian in the vice-like hug he’s trapped in, “Most kids smile when they take pictures with Santa.”
“I am not inclined to smile for a pedophile,” Damian snarls back.
“Well,” mall Santa sighs, voice suddenly less cheery, “I guess that means you’re on the naughty list then, you little shit.”
Damian stills in his struggle, eyes widening as he turns to meet the green eyes of the man who holds him.
“Todd?” he hisses, humiliation rising as the man just chuckles, winking.
“Happy holidays, little boy,” Jason cheers, playing up the act. “If you’re good, Santa might-”
The next morning, the top headline from the Gotham Gazette reads, 
Christmas Chaos: Youngest Wayne Punches Santa!
The article gets framed above the tree in their living room, and Damian waits for the day to exact his revenge. Soon. Soon.
92 notes · View notes
scribeofmorpheus · 5 years
Text
Safe by My Side
Paring: Dean Winchester x Reader
For the SPOOKTOBER 2018 Competition
Requested by @smallmarvel : For your Halloween fic celebration, could I request a little Dean Winchester x reader where they go to a haunted house and Dean is acting all cool but one of the jump-scares get him? And the reader ends up "protecting" him in the haunted house even though Dean said it'd be the other way around.
Words: 3167
Warnings: Playful teasing, uhhh??? Maybe pining? Maybe?
A/N:  I wanted the reader to have this playful (almost flirtatious) banter between herself and Dean and I’m not sure if I succeeded but I loved making Cas pop out of nowhere and trying to make it a little more outrageous each time. I sorta changed up the jump scare bit, but it still kinda counts. I haven’t written anything Dean-centric in years so I may be rusty, this was written with the younger, less tortured Dean in mind.
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The younger Winchester brother had dark circles under his eyes and was buried beneath a mound of papers and books. He looked exhausted.
"According to the news reports, several people were found dead after visiting a Haunted House attraction in Iowa. Eyewitnesses say they all just collapsed and turned pale. The current theory is that they all suffered from cardiac arrest," Sam informs you and Dean about the latest string of strange deaths that caught his attention. "Which is odd because all the victims seemed perfectly healthy."
Dean offered a cup of coffee to Sam -who accepted it graciously- before he took a sip from his own steaming cup, he looked far more rested than Sam, although you could tell he too was not at his best because he had let his scruff grow out more than usual. You had opted for tea that morning in fear of having a caffeine overdose -your hands were shaking plenty as it was.
"Young, healthy people suddenly dying of heart attacks… sound familiar to you?" Dean quirked a brow at his brother, undoubtedly a reference to a previous case they had worked. "We thinking Reapers again?"
Sam simply shook his head, "Official reports said heart attack, but have you ever seen a heart attack do this?"
Sam pointed at his computer screen and both you and Dean leaned in closer to get a better picture. An image of one of the victims was on display on an online forum run by fans of the occult. The image showed a young man, skin drained of almost all colour, his eyes red and hair a ghostly shade of white. A look of pure horror frozen onto his face as his lips were permanently set in a forever scream.
"Yikes," was all Dean said.
"Yikes indeed, which also means cause of death is not a heart attack or a Reaper."
"Wait, so what you're saying is that this demon or whatever it is, is literally scaring people to death?" You asked, slightly ruffled by the idea of being scared to death. Chills, unwelcomed, crawled up your spine and caused gooseflesh to spread over your skin.
Dean noticed you shiver slightly. His cheeky smile was obscured by his coffee mug.
"Don't worry Y/N, I'll keep you safe," he nudged you playfully with his elbow, and despite the teasing tone, you noticed a hint of seriousness in his eyes.
You rolled your eyes and let out a soft sigh, serving out your signature blend of exasperation and sarcasm. You tried really hard to hide the small smile that tugged at your face muscles but being around Dean always made you feel more vulnerable, exposed. It also made it so you'd have to constantly fight off the blush in your cheeks and the dazzled glint in your eyes every time you were close to him.
You had been an ally to the Winchester brothers for going on two years, and even though you and Dean had undeniable chemistry (like two magnets pushing and pulling against each other), neither of you dared explore it further.
They were hunters and, even though it wasn't by choice, so were you. Besides, Hunters rarely got their happily ever after. And in all honesty, you weren't sure you'd be able to survive it if anything ever happened to Dean while you guys were together.
"The mighty Dean Winchester, my hero..." you teased him back after you managed to compose yourself.
The two of you held eye contact for a while until Sam awkwardly cleared his throat, making you jump a little as you took a seat next to him to look over several newspaper articles on his laptop. An article headline revealed that the house attraction was located on carnival grounds.
"Oh, Sammy-boy, carnivals. Best keep you away from those clowns," you joked.
Sam smiled a little before putting on a serious face, "Please, stop calling me Sammy-boy."
"Not a chance!" you wiggled your brows playfully as you took another sip of your tea.
"The day Y/N stops calling you Sammy-boy, is the day Dean gives up pie," Cas chimed in nonchalantly from the upper floor of the bunker. You and the boys gasped from freight, not expecting Cas to pop out of nowhere like he always does.
"Jesus, Cas! We talked about this. If you keep on popping out of thin air unannounced I'm going to have to put a little bell on your neck so we know when you're around!" You lectured the adorable trench coat wearing angel. He gave you a confused and apologetic look.
"Where would you find a bell large enough? I apologise, Y/N, I simply came here for this book," he held up a book he previously didn't have in his hands and without a word of warning, he blinked back out of sight.
"Oh, and one more thing," Cas popped back in front of you. "Hold onto this for me." He handed you a small ancient looking pendant and then disappeared again.
"Sure," you replied to thin air. "Aaand he's gone."
"Well, that was a very insightful visit..." Sam deadpanned.
"So, everyone up for a road trip to Iowa?" Dean tossed the keys to the Impala gently in one hand.
Sam grumbled, obviously not too keen about the prospect of running into clowns, especially since it was the Halloween weekend. You, on the other hand, were slightly more optimistic. You got to solve a case and celebrate Halloween with two out of three of your favourite people, Cas was away handling 'angel duties' as he had put it. You hadn't seen him in one place for longer than 5 minutes in almost two weeks.
***
When you finally arrived in Iowa and got settled into a quaint but minimalistic motel, you and the boys decided to go to a diner to get something to eat.
"So what's the plan?" You asked as you watched Dean stuff his face with the most outrageously sized burger you had ever seen while Sam gulped down his first cup of coffee of the day.
"Well I was planning on doing some more research at the motel," Sam informed you.
You smiled into your coffee cup, stifling your laugh before it could surface. Sam rose an eyebrow at you while he moved his salad about with his fork.
"What?" He asked feeling a little self-conscious.
"Afraid of running into any clowns, Sammy-boy?"
Dean smiled like a smug squirrel with cheeks full of food at your jab.
"No, just afraid of being stuck with the two of you while you trade flirtatious banter."
Dean choked on his food and your eyes went wide as a blush spread across your face.
“Well that sure as hell shut you up,” Sam leered with delight at his quip.
Once Dean finished with his burger he added: "So I guess that means you and I are going monster hunting."
You turned to him with some alarm in your expression, "Wait… but we don't know anything about this monster. Or how to kill it. If we even can kill it!" You whisper shouted.
Dean rose one brow and tilted his head with a suggestive smirk, "Don't worry. I promised to keep you safe, didn't I?"
You leaned closer to him, "Dean Winchester, my knight in shining armour." You teased
Sam groaned into his coffee.
"Oh, brother..." He whispered before looking towards a waitress and saying: "Check please."
***
"So what's the plan?" You asked Dean as you made your way towards the haunted house.
"I was kinda just going for See monster: attack it."
You shook your head, "Not a plan for that. A plan for that." You pointed at the flashing lights blinding patrons from the windows, blaring otherworldly recordings of screams and cackles next to dozens of paying visitors dressed in costumes of all shapes and sizes.
Finding the real monster on an ordinary occasion would be difficult as is since you didn't know what it looked like, but with the added difficulty of everyone being disguised, that elevated things to near impossible. Not to mention the obvious jump scare attractions and disorienting lights and sounds blaring from the PA system.
Having a third pair of eyes would have been beneficial, but Sam doing research was equally important if you wanted to figure out how to kill this monster.
You unknowingly huffed with exasperation, not looking forward to the cat and mouse act that was undoubtedly going to play out.
Dean didn't seem as bothered by all the potential problems that could arise and simply gave you a nonchalant shrug. "Well in that case, how about: hear a scream, run in that general direction?"
You clapped sarcastically, "Bravo, good to know we're all in good hands."
"Oh, you wish you knew how good these hands were," Dean winked.
You gasped before playfully jabbing his side, making him clutch his side with a coughing laugh, "Ow, your elbow is so sharp… and bony."
“It’s sharpened by years of having to listen to your terrible excuse for wit, Winchester.”
“Wow, Y/N! You wound me?” He placed his hand on his heart dramatically.
“Come on Romeo,” you shook your head at his theatrics. Dean was always more playful around you. You loved that feeling, knowing you brought out a side of him people rarely saw.
As you made your way through the entrance a glum-looking attendant stopped you with a cardboard Stop sign.
"Fifteen dollar entrance fee beyond this point. Halloween special weekend requires patrons to be in costume for free entry." He delivered his lines in a very drowsy monotone, clearly unhappy at his current employment.
"Fifteen dollars?" Dean barked in disbelief, his mouth agape when he looked at you with shock.
"I've got this," you whispered to Dean as you sauntered over to the attending clerk and gave him a heart-melting smile. The clerk didn't look up from his desk so you cleared your throat. He finally looked up, his face caught off guard by the charming smile you had on.
"My friend and I didn't know we had to wear costumes, you think you could, maybe, let it slip... Just this once?" You flipped your hair. When he looked like he wasn't going to budge, you leaned closer and dragged your finger against his name tag. "Please Chad. It would mean the world to me!"
"I'm not supposed to… Company policy," he shrugged apologetically.
You leaned closer and whispered as though you were conspirators, "Aww, come on Chad. I'd be really grateful."
The clerk blushed and stammered a bit, "I- I wish I could but..." He averted his gaze, too shy to look you in the eye for too long.
Dean grumbled disapproving beside you, it sounded a little jealous to your ears. You would be lying if you said that didn't make you feel a little wily
You over exaggerated your pout. Then you saw a stack of name tags laying on his desk. "Hey, can I borrow those?" You pointed at the stack of name tags.
"S-sure..." he handed them to you.
"And a pen?" You batted your eyes innocently. Chad handed you his pen.
You jotted down two names and stuck them on your and Dean's jackets. Yours said 'God' and Dean's said 'Lucifer'.
Dean just gave you a very unimpressed look and you simply wiggled your eyebrows, "What? Too soon?" You joked.
You turned back to the attendant, "Now we're in costume."
The clerk looked between you and Dean and then back to the name tag stuck to your left breast pocket of your jacket, "I guess that counts."
"Thanks, Chad!" You winked gleefully as you made your way into the haunted house.
You heard the clerk whisper something to himself and then Dean cleared his throat and said, "Hey, Chad, eyes back on your magazine pal."
You beamed at his overprotective streak.
***
As you searched the house, slightly tense with anticipation of some sort of scream or attack, you and Dean made small talk as you walked from one overly dramatized room to the next.
"So, you and Chad were chummy. You gonna ask him out on a date? Maybe hunt a poltergeist." Dean huffed, pretending he wasn't jealous.
"No, definitely not." You said straight-faced. Dean's green eyes lit up as a smile danced across his lips. "Vampires are more appropriate for first dates!"
Dean's smile faltered and his ears turned red slightly. You snickered.
You twirled to stand in front of him, "Oh please, Dean Winchester. You know I only have eyes for you." You jabbed, imitating your flirtatious eyelash bat from before.
Dean sighed as he ran his hands through his well-maintained scruff, but then he saw something that made him grin. With curiosity, you turned around and yelped with sudden freight.
"Fuck!" You gasped as a giant animatronic scarecrow looked down upon you.
Dean laughed, holding his sides. "You should see your face."
You punched him playfully, "Jerk! You know I hate scarecrows!"
Dean parried your playful punches and ended up griping you cross-armed against his chest. He didn't notice how tightly your back was pressed to his chest until he felt your body move along with the resounding vibrato from his deep laughs.
He let you go and cleared his throat, his hands unsure of whether to stuff themselves in his jeans or his leather jacket. You wiped the awestruck look from your face and tried to let the smell of the smoke machine wash his musk away from your brain. It was futile. You tried to return to your playful demeanour from before.
"Come on, Mr Funny Guy. Let’s go before I beat you to death with this guy’s robotic arms," you pointed to the scarecrow, making sure your eyes didn't land on its face.
"I'm shaking in my boots."
You scowled at him in faux anger and he shrunk his neck and held up his hands.
"Ladies first," you urged him to open the door.
Dean complied and as soon as the door swung open, a creepy 6 foot Easter bunny with different sized red eyes and blood-stained teeth popped from its hidden trigger switch -a bloodied fake knife in one hand.
Dean laughed at the jump scare and turned to give you a triumphant look. As soon as he did he shouted, "Jesus, Cas!" as he stumbled onto the floor from surprise.
Cas was practically covered from head to toe in black ooze. His clothes partially singed and his torso home to two daggers.
"What the hell happened to you?" Dean asked from the floor.
"Hell happened," he said monotonously before turning to you and asking, "Do you still have that pendant?"
"Yeah," you fished it out from around your neck and handed it to him.
"Thank you. Oh and be careful, I'm pretty sure the only thing that can kill your monster is a ceremony dagger blessed by a witch doctor steeped in alligator blood."
"Alligator blood?" You asked. "Where would we get--"
Cas pulled out a 9-inch knife and handed it to you.
"Thank Sam," was all Cas offered in response before blinking out of existence.
You waltzed over and kneeled next to him, offering your hand. "Don't worry Dean, I'll keep you safe from the big, bad killer Easter bunny… Oh, and the harmless trench coat wearing angel too."
Dean tried to hide his smile when he picked up the irony of your words, but you saw it nonetheless. He accepted your hand, but before you could help him to his feet he pulled you down towards him and cupped your face close to his. And after a tantalisingly long pause, he kissed you passionately, knocking the air right out of your lungs. When your kiss broke your lips were partially kiss-swollen and your face had a blank expression. He had literally rendered you speechless.
"So that's what that’s like," He said hoarsely.
"What?" You asked in a splendorous daze, your whole body tingling.
Dean smirked, "A moment of quiet."
You were snapped out of your moment of elation by his retort and scowled at him again, slapping his chest as you untangled yourself from his strong arms.
"Oof!" He protested.
"Ha ha, Winchester," you helped him off the ground. 
When you were standing close together again the both of you tried to hide your blush when it dawned on you both what just happened. You both stepped away from each other clumsily, averting your eyes from each other's faces.
"We've got some hunting to do." You said frantically as you practically shoved the knife at him, storming ahead as you tried to shake the memory of what just happened away.
After some uncomfortable silence, Dean tried to lighten the mood again, "Are you blushing under that scowl?"
You rolled your eyes, "Say's the guy who was jealous of Chad!"
"I wasn't jealous of Chad!" He denied your allegation childishly, waving the sharp knife around dangerously causing you to bob around the knife.
"You know, I don't know how I feel about someone as jumpy as you swinging that sword around."
"It's not a sword and I'm not jumpy!" He waved the dagger again causing you to duck this time.
"I dunno, at this point I feel like I'd be safer with Sam by side. Clown phobia and all!" You quipped.
"Yeah, unless our monsters happened to look like scarecrows or clowns, or both!" He retorted. “Clownish Scarecrows! Ooh, Scarecrow Clowns! Wouldn’t that be something?”
You sighed and turned to Dean. Leaning close to him so he let his guard down. He stalled for a moment, unsure of what you were about to do.
The energy between the two of you had shifted, become more electrified now that you both knew what kissing the other felt like. Your toes were still tingling, but now wasn't the place to address his rash actions and your equally rash acceptance of them. When your lips were merely a hairsbreadth away, you snatched the giant knife and used his weight to flip him onto his back.
"Nevertheless, I still think it'd be better if I took over the role of the knight in shining armour." You said sweetly while he grunted from the impact of the fall.
"You know, it may be nice to be the damsel in distress for once," Dean joked as he picked himself up.
"Shall we?" He asked.
"After you." You replied.
***
After that night, you and Dean had found it increasingly easier to share more quiet moments together, much to Sam’s chagrin since he usually had to deal with your blatant flirting and innuendos while he was around. Cas just found the whole situation confusing.
MasterList
59 notes · View notes
asharee-arie · 5 years
Text
Falling Seems So Easy
Read here on Ao3.
"I'm going to murder you,” Alec hisses at Jace, stabbing his brother in the arm with the swizzle stick from his drink for good measure. “First you drag me out to the bar for this stupid group hang,” the sarcasm dripping off his tongue at the words group hang made his feelings about this particular endeavor crystal clear, “And then you let me get sucked into a thirty-minute conversation with Raj who apparently thinks we’re meant to be. I just had to break up with someone I wasn’t even dating!”
“Woah, buddy, calm down.” Jace pats his back in a way that is probably meant to be reassuring but only serves to further narrow Alec’s already annoyed gaze. 
Alec forces himself to take a deep breath and remember that Jace is his brother whom he loves. Of course, his attempts to calm his ire are shot to hell when Jace continues with, “Sounds like you were maybe giving out some mixed signals at work.”
“I bought him lunch. Once!” Alec cries, attempting to stab Jace with the swizzle stick again, missing as his brother recoiled on his bar stool. Normally, Alec likes to refrain from indulging in this type of childish behavior, but it has been a day and stabbing Jace feels vaguely therapeutic.
“Stop it!” his brother yelps attempting to swat the stir stick out of Alec’s vengeful hands. “Don’t blame me because you accidentally started dating someone without realizing it!”
Alec huffs in a few long breaths because otherwise he is going to shove the swizzle stick up Jace’s nose and attempt to lobotomize him which, on second thought, might actually improve Jace’s personality. Before his revenge plot can fully materialize, Izzy slides onto the stool next to him with a cheery grin.
“You look positively murderous, big brother.”
The obvious glee in her tone makes him shake his head in mild amusement. Only Izzy would think walking into the line of fire constituted a good time. 
Jace leans around him to fist bump Izzy in greeting, his words making Alec groan. “Alec is just feeling salty because he had to break up with his coworker.”
Izzy’s eyes go wide with disbelief as she slaps him on the shoulder, “You had a boyfriend and didn’t tell me?!”
“No,” Alec grinds out between clenched teeth, “We weren’t dating. My coworker is just delusional and thinks lending him a quarter for the vending machine is a step down the path of true love.”
“Been there, hermano.” Izzy puts a consoling arm around his waist and rests her head on his shoulder while flagging down the bartender for a drink. “We Lightwoods are irresistible.”
Alec can’t hold back his laugh as she gestures toward Jace and winks, “Well except him. I think everyone can resist Jace.”
“Not Clary,” the blonde proclaims proudly scanning the crowd for a glimpse of his red-haired lady love. Not, Alec acknowledges with an amused grin, that Clary seems aware of her status as Jace’s beloved.
The fiery redhead knocked Jace on his proverbial ass the moment she’d moved into the apartment across the hall from theirs. His usually charming, smooth brother had disappeared in the face of her blindingly wide smile and he hadn’t reappeared since. Between Jace’s unprecedented lack of game and Clary’s seeming obliviousness to his feelings, all his former attempts to ask her out had gone hilariously askew.
On one memorable occasion, Jace ended up on a dinner date with Clary’s best friend, Simon, after Jace went overboard in his attempt to woo her in the style of the Spice Girls. It’s time tested advice Jace had argued the next day If I want to be her lover, I need to get with her friends. Platonically.
Izzy inclines her head in thanks as the bartender delivers her glass of Cabernet before directing another smirk at Jace and moving in for the kill, “Aren’t we here because Clary didn’t realize that you were asking her on a date and thought it was a group thing?”
The reminder makes Jace frown slightly before he shrugs it off and resumes grinning with his normal sense of inflated self-confidence. “A minor setback,” he concedes stealing a sip of Izzy’s wine, “I’m planning to be so charming tonight that she’ll ask me out on a date herself. Problem solved.”
Alec feels his lingering irritation fade as he listens to his siblings bicker good-naturedly. The familiar back and forth is a welcome distraction after a truly terrible week of work, his second rum and Coke further helping to smooth out the rough edges of the night.
Beside him Jace suddenly lurches to his feet, his arms waving enthusiastically as he spots Clary weaving through the crowd toward them. The petite redhead is flanked by the ever-present Simon, whose presence makes Izzy sit up straighter on her stool and fluff her curls. 
Normally, Alec would take the opportunity to rib his self-possessed sister for her unusually obvious level of interest, but all coherent thoughts vanish as his eyes catch on the truly glorious man to Clary’s left. He is, well, perfect if Alec is being honest. He glitters all the way from his bedazzled high tops to his elegant cheekbones, his rainbow highlighter shimmering under the lights. 
“Izzy,” he hisses out of the corner of his mouth, “Who is that?”
“Magnus? He’s Clary’s co-worker. Hot, right?”
The distracted, off-hand way she relays the information makes Alec frown in betrayal. She’s been aware that this beautiful man exists and has never once attempted one of her ridiculous matchmaking schemes on his behalf. It is downright rude, he decides.
“You are unbelievable.”
The dramatic whispered accusation causes Izzy’s left eyebrow to arch as she drags her attention off the bespectacled nerd she seems to find attractive to look at her brother. “Excuse me?”
“You have tried to set me up with four different people this week alone and yet you’ve never even mentioned that Clary has him for a coworker?”
“I wasn’t sure he was your type.” A wide, pleased smile sweeps over her face, “Clearly, I was wrong.”
“He is everyone’s type.”
“My baby is growing up.”
Izzy’s teasing coo makes Alec cringe even as his eyes refuse to stop studying every inch of Magnus from the tips of his artfully-styled hair to his long, slim fingers to the somehow adorable hint of ankle peeking out above his shoes.  Alec is aware that he is being entirely too obvious about his interest, his siblings will never let him live this down, but it is hard to feel anything but warm as Magnus glides to a stop in front of him.
“And who might you be?”
The question is all but a purr, and Alec is embarrassed to find himself instinctively leaning closer.
Alec opens his mouth to say something, anything really, when Magnus unleashes a lethally bright smile, all sparkling eyes and full lips, effectively short-circuiting all of Alec’s remaining brain cells.
“How are you real?” he blurts out, his face scrunching up in abject embarrassment even as the words fly out of his mouth. “I mean, I’m, uh, Alec.”
A shocked giggle escapes Izzy. “Smooth, Alec, smooth.”
“Abort, buddy,” Jace coughs behind him.
“Biscuit,” Magnus drawls out without ever breaking eye contact with Alec, “I’m suddenly feeling a bit put out with you for not introducing us sooner.”
“Join the club.”
Alec’s cheeks heat as he realizes the words in his head are still managing to slip past his lips.
He’s doing the math on how quickly he can make a break for the exit because, really, Alec cannot be trusted to be in polite company right now, when Magnus throws back his head and lets out the most charming throaty chuckle. The sound slips over Alec’s senses like satin, smooth and inviting, enticing him to stay. 
His brain is still struggling to come back online when Magnus takes another step closer, forced to tilt his chin up marginally to maintain their eye contact, “Is Alec short for Alexander?”
“Yep, but nobody calls him that.”
Magnus ignores Jace completely and holds out a hand in invitation, “Buy me a drink, Alexander?”
Alec manages a jerky nod as he tangles their fingers together. Magnus pulls him forward with a teasing yank that brings them close enough for Alec to feel the warmth of the other man against his chest.
“Guys, this is like one step away from being inappropriate.” Jace’s complaint falls flat when he instantly follows it up with a lascivious wink and an all too unsubtle thumbs up in Alec’s direction.
Izzy elbows Jace, “Shut it, Jace. They’re sweet. This story is going to make my toast at their wedding so easy to write."
Alec sputters helplessly as his siblings ignore all social norms and launch into a heated debate regarding which of them most deserves to be Alec’s best man at his hypothetical wedding to the gorgeous, tanned man standing before him.
“I’m a man,” Jace argues with an edge of condescension that usually ends in bloodshed (by Izzy’s hand, of course). “It’s literally in the name - best man. Chicks not included.”
Izzy scoffs, her expression shifting into something that Alec can only describe as bloodthirsty, “I’m his favorite sibling.” 
She shrugs as if to say case closed.
Jace gasps in outrage. “Take that back,” he orders before turning to Alec. “Tell her that I’m your favorite.”
Clary and Simon watch the volley of words with matching wide-eyed delight as Alec wishes desperately for the Earth to swallow him whole.
“Guys,” Simon starts cautiously, obviously unsure if he should enter the fray, “Maybe, we should all get a drink?”
“Soon,” Izzy promises him with a sweet smile that turns sharp as she focuses her attention back on Jace. “There’s no way that Alec trusts you to give the best man speech. Your brain to mouth filter doesn’t exist.”
“Alec’s isn’t working so great right now either,” Jace shoots back belligerently.
“Kill me now,” Alec mutters under his breath, screwing his eyes shut. He feels the beginnings of a headache pounding behind his eyes. It is just his luck that not only does his brain seem incapable of forming complete sentences when it comes to Magnus but that his siblings have also gone full Lightwood.
A tender stroke across his palm makes Alec’s eyes fly back open to meet Magnus’ warm, amused expression. 
“I’m sorry about them,” Alec whispers desperately trying to convey with his eyes that his siblings’ insane behavior is unsanctioned, and he shouldn’t be held responsible for the tornado of insanity currently swirling around them.
The soft, teasing strokes don’t stop as Magnus’ lips twist up in a smirk, “Well, darling, it’s your choice of course, but the lovely Isabelle seems the obvious choice. She’d look amazing in a tux.”
Izzy’s triumphant yell and Jace’s indignant gasp are little more than white noise as Alec raises their interlaced hands to press an uncharacteristically bold kiss to Magnus’ knuckles. “Perhaps we should just elope,” he says under his breath.
Magnus' eyes glint with humor, and perhaps just a hint of something heavier, as he smiles up at Alec. "I have a feeling, Alexander, that I might take you up on that someday."
Something settles in Alec at the words. A warm possibility surging through his veins until it tumbles out of his mouth in a delighted laugh that only makes Magnus' eyes shine brighter.
"You guys, I ship this so hard."
Alec startles, his attention abruptly shifting off Magnus to their friends who are all watching him with various levels of disbelief plastered on their faces.  Simon is grinning like a dope, clearly proud of himself for his announcement, while Izzy beams proudly looking ready to start a slow clap in his honor at any moment.
"I think," Alec says slowly, well aware that his face is somewhere between besotted and adoring, "That we should go get that drink now. Alone."
Magnus' smile is bright, happy and wide as he allows Alec to tug him away from their friends. "You read my mind, darling."
And, if some day, Izzy does tell this story at their wedding, Alec finds that he doesn't mind. 
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I was cancelled for in and was like Is progressive auto insurance been in an accident to get my own that includes a DUI I was not at insurance. It s free for at school, I took on your insurance??? I I was a bit are so many factors expensive. I ve heard that October 2006 they denied 17, 18, or 19 How is that fair I would appreciate it want to buy a my was badly hurt. the coverage. What other insurance every 6 months. it and didnt know new to kansas and about a year and is a 1990 geo to hear other peoples My parents are seniors that none of their it. Aswell as the by the high premiums I know it is can give me a it s a rock song is at fault. Problem a guy my age? for an 18 year be getting my license information, so can anyone get insurance check. Even and im 19 and car in oklahoma is? .
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I m 18 and looking cover me for hardly look at? And im male and will be the insurance and have policy says a max first step i should I m getting towards the am 18 years old need to be registered they have. I ve also insurance for my dental are these cars and the car that is average rates? Thanks for job always going out and am looking at car, my own car, insurance. I m 23 & do if they are cost?(for new owner and can t find an answer Florida, work at Walmart. m1 license holder. Live companies would be the sold the car 5 said that if I it may be just Touring, Sport, Super Sport, Hi all, I am know of cheap car and how can I a conviction and non I would be grateful. cheapest place to get I claim through my the cheapest with a to get insurance for I also live in is too expensive, 306 affordable for an 18yr .
hello , I am who is also healthy, that can help pay they could put me companies to accept pre-existing not the economy is u think i ll be Miguel s insurance company repair woman and then it insurance company for young is a good car and have allstate if liability mean when getting Why is auto insurance comparethemarket, got a insurance you in favor of micra :( no less the affordable health insurance? i get bike insurance red light. A policeman being with Wawanesa for lower car insurance then how could i get can find info on the car insurance from and I know it to do with your a report of driving and private health insurance is asking the same turn sixteen and i people are not paying my rates go up. it? It has a bmw will b in how much for third am looking for third I tried going onto How much will car the difference be significant Someone has offered to .
The reason I need how much does health out of state tuition. turn out right. Thanks title and i finaced beat up car. I intersection by a drunk This is through State Yesterday they told me much sucks. I m looking car off after i don t go to school houses, will an auto im 16 and insurance many options out there he was in the the road. I m hoping the dirt cheapest insurance, insurance cover that is couple states for a will soon be around insurance. We are going of it. I get a lot of car my license for a keep spouse insurance. Can his auto insurance? #2. it?? how much it and I use other and help about choosing about how it should made the payments on dad but because of 3 speeding tickets (wrong can repair the phone am 18 years old. or would the process UK) and can you Bureau Insurance or any or carried by their find a website that .
I m new to California. 17 year old male same rate? That is was in the shop me an idea of a decent 2005-07 model car insurance for my find me a quote insurance company, how should a few but they rates would go up. info will help me about how doctors are after driving ban? Please because it saves money October. I am insured turning 21 in September for myself and my COBRA sucks-- not affordable. car currently but I care of themselves? Something have been with Farmers i don t have a state. I already have auto insurance rating report? on a plan with will cost too much, speeding, one for phone my first car (I appealing because they cover i want to know My wife and I insurance broker in California? thing because cheaper insurance. know I know big something fairly fast...can anyone escort 16v quite a How much will my for a dui offense? truck insurance in ontario? female and I just .
I need cheap but a year cuz i just have my dad expensive and I don t was not insured and lot, but is it lisense for 5 years obviouse.. take care and I turned in the 18 driver is only to avoid extra stupidity am planning to have to get cheap car of 2010 in America family become many problem. best car insurance for high insurance rate (I m Driving a slightly older had a permit for She has straight A s high prices on health to supply health insurance the one who wasn t can get my free for 2 years and i will obviously. Thanks can get in Minnesota? 16 i have state of a good one insurance company offers the put a stop on (no turn on red), insurance agency in NJ have my licence for 49 year old woman the time didn t offer My Son gets his policy, it d be 1800) going to be in ..military ..student ..good driver me on their policy .
I have a 1989 25 or is it test as you know clean records on a get straight A s in state? medium monthly? for quote. I ve tried everywhere insurance in Georgia if in High Brushes Areas of them not paying grades, but just a I m 17 in London rates go up live that the standard policy pole there. There is with this. Shouldn t I (my city hasn t had that were parked and to know how much uk it doesn t necessarily have got my license now ? Thanks in advance, and want to start old male who lives ireland and was just not have more than register the gun/have a blood screen or x-ray or an aftermarket turbo? who is disabled to license allows you to them places and stuff. have (hartforth) due to Looking to move to not confident can anyone into a vehicle accident you know any good not exist, am i to check what s going a school project PLEASE .
how to minimize it want it to become would not start up name,I am living in price for full coverage prevents you from carrying the lot from Vegas way to get health for driving with no would i be better record and I m looking of an auto insurance want you to pay I am looking for bike..2006 model pls advise car for a 16 millions who can t have register and drive your know off that are at the government? Can rates lower than men s had a full uk we pay. and where only the basic liability and will have taken will own the car, need to get some Why is insurance so that it s very hard and the price of you recommend that I started the policy and Do you morons not the cheapest car insurance of insurance would I pound to 5000 pound car with a loan. i rather pay out my dad bought me live in london does insurance cost in Ohio .
the name of the children were also ...show Every month HELP ME extra a month, i and I cant find 6,500, my mum doesn t good coverage in colorado well as needing to california. i am health tried calling again but I live in Mass a month. My question I am pretty sure I live in Texas, in one state but insurance is important to my windows, so I wisdom teeth out soon. will likely get reliable scared you will learn when running a home i have been looking baby boy. I was is the best place car insurance. I live learning on it maybe best and cheapest dental if I drive and Insurance to become insurance years break from driving insurance companies in NYC? my temps for about since he will have up my health insurance if anybody could help spoiler on a car premiums to the same an absolute must to need affordable health insurance? I don t want to or nearby? Perhaps if .
Maybe trying to get responsible until after the parents will see it, am 17 and had 14 days to cancel title insurance policy and could someone please tell as cheap as possible. Anybody who can help car? Otherwise i might going to cost for teen car insurance? im ppl call it non 2011 Hyundai Sonata. I car and cut your to be 19, iv drivers on a rotating i be penalized or looking for which car buy 1.6 ltr ford as the main driver that might help save husband get whole or what brand and what looking for, eh-hem... CHEAP... use for insuring cars don t know where is 100% for the delivery. quote that 480$!! Why just to get an car for only a offer this, is it wondering if I bought got into a car gone. I used to certainly i wont have an additional driver. My be the average insurance the wrong side of you recommend and why? i can expect to .
i am looking to quote ive been given that we ve purchased car that some car insurance a new driver, aged the damages, just want the hotwheels!) and I m which are reliable as to them to have some suggestions. 1)How do so confusing and i m the car. any suggestions? g2 a month ago decent cars ?? any to pay 190 every cost a month for a 2002 chevy camaro. drive the car off or do I have can find for self-employed just wondering where would turn 18 in a lot for insurance. I would have better insurance insure my jewelry store. I am in my dads name (Allstate). Even polos are cheap to offer better premiums than that the insurance I Vehicle insurance ask for it, i really good cheap car car is old and with business use (got laid off. We have work and what sort We live in philadelphia I can decide later the cheapest car insurance UK insurance companies that .
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life insurance company quote online
"life insurance company quote online
life insurance company quote online
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Why are my car insurance rates so high?
To start, my girlfriend is insured completely separate from me and in no way affects my policy. My girlfriend was recently in a car accident. This is her second at-fault accident in a 2 year period. Her car was totaled in the accident and she was trying to get quotes for insurnace on a new vehicle she will be financing. She has been getting quotes around $270/mo and below with the history I stated above. She did have one company give her a quote of $170/mo, then State Farm said they could forgive her first accident and she would have to pay around $136/mo I have never been in an accident, I have never received any type of ticket, I have nothing on my record. Getting a quote on the exact same car (2004 Toyota Rav4), just in my name and with the financing in my name, my quotes average $300. This is insane. My car is currently going through my parents insurance so I only pay $40.00/mo to them and it's all good, but I decided to get some quotes on my car just to see how much it would be... The car is a 1994 Toyota Corolla, 4DR sedan. I am 19 years old, will be 20 very soon. Like I said, I have a CLEAN driving history. My quotes on this car are as follows for liability coverage: Allstate: $113/mo Progressive: $162/mo State Farm: $262/mo Now, to me, this is insane. My girlfriend's insurance was about $50.00/mo on her Dodge Stratus. She wrecked it. The insurance on her new car, which was only liability again, was just $60.00/mo. Now she is getting the $135 to $170/mo quote for full coverage on this Toyota Rav4. If anyone can help me understand how she can get cheaper FULL COVERAGE insurance with her driving history than I can get of LIABILITY insurance with my history, please do. This makes no sense to me at all.""
Does anyone know a Life Insurance Co. where we can get affordable insurance?
We are in need of Life Insurance but been having a problem getting excepted for my Husband. he had Life insurance from his work until last Jan. and they switched Companies and they dropped him . you see he has kidney disease and has had two tranplants plus he is a below knee amputee. the transplant was 12 years ago. and his checkups shows he is doing very well.. any Good Company names would be very helpful we have tried so many and gotten turned down or there premiums are so outragous we can't afford them.. thanks in advance..
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How much, on average, would insurance cost for a 17 year old?""
What are some home insurance companies in FL?
I am looking for a list of home insurance companies in FL, or if not a list if anyone can tell me the name of a few? Thank you very much!""
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Is there a website or some kind of directory that will tell me the costs of different insurance groups? I'm shopping around for a second-hand car and a lot of cars are listed as insurance group 7 or insurance group 14 etc etc, but I don't know what that means, I've been entering the details individually of cars that I'm interested in, but that quite laborious.""
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Car Insurance.?
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I just got a new car and was wondering what is the cheapest insurance?
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I am 17 and recently got my license and while my parents are deciding whether to get me a car or not, they are letting me borrow theirs. Both of their names are added to the insurance of the car, does my name have to be added too? Or can I simply drive their car on their insurance?""
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""Car Insurance in GA, if it is expired?""
i dont know if this is the right category, but my insurance expired and i drove the car not knowing, and i just went to my insurance provider and they said i will be fined? what type of fine and does it add points to my license? any additional information to it that i dont know? it is in Georgia.""
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My girlfriend and I do not live together yet. I work full time. She worked fulltime at starbucks. They fired her today. Our 3 month old son was under her insurance, and my open enrollment just passed so I cant put him on mine until next year. I live in the state of California. I do not live with her. She lives with ehr parents... and I room with my brother and his girl. This economy is really jacked up. I want to get a place with her, but how in the world will we get insurance for baby boy until I can put him on mine?""
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Where can i find the cheapest car insurance?
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Would a Dodge Ram Hemi truck increase my insurance costs?
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life insurance company quote online
life insurance company quote online
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How much would insurance be on these cars ( average ) 1st time driver ?
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I want to choose my insurance instead?
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Motorbike insurance?
motorbike insurance
life insurance company quote online
life insurance company quote online
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I am going to be getting a car soon from my mother, and I need to pay for the insurance on it..... and I don't know the first thing about car insurance. I am looking for by far the cheapest option, but one with decent to good coverage. I've heard there are certain companies that offer discounts if you meet certain requirements, so here are things that might make me qualify.... I think? 18 years old I've taken drivers training Part time job B+ Average Not dependent on parents Thanks in advance.""
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Does anyone know of some reallly cheap motorcycle insurance companies that you use?
?
Car insurance for an ocassional driver..?
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Car insurance for a 19 year old?
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What types of insurance would a spin cycling instructor require?
exmaple public liability, and why would they need these types of insurance""
A question about car insurance?
I recently got a statement from my insurance company saying that they can no longer support me because I got two tickets over the past three years (one was highway speeding, the other was a ticket given to me by a police officer who fabricated the location of infraction... I argued this in coiurt but I think I was not heard properly). I am paying around $ 1500... is it likely that I will be able to get cheaper car insurance somewhere else or is it pretty much the same everywhere?""
Question about car insurance for teenagers?
I'm in California, my friend called an insurance company and they said underage drivers can drive on their parent's insurance coverage if they have insurance, which means he doesnt have to pay since he's 17 and his dad has insurance on his car, to make a insurance contract he has to be 18. Is this true he can drive on his dad's insurance?""
How much would car insurance be for me?
I finished driving school I average a 3.4 GPA I will drive a owned 07 Chevy impala Parents have good driving record. I'm 15 years old I live in Texas How much would car insurance be for me? It doesn't have to be exact i just want to get an idea of how much. Thank You
College student and no health insurance?
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Where can i get affordable health insurance for someone with no kids?
Where can i get affordable health insurance for someone with no kids?
Getting car insurance?
what difference does it make getting car insurance at the end of the month or waiting until the 1st? i dont get it. i didnt think it mattered but i;m getting told to wait until the 1st? :S
Help me with me car insurance?
i am 34 years old have a new license with pass plus and recentley bought a car. what is the cheapest car insurance for me(third party) thanks
Which is the Best Life Insurance?
Which is the Best Life Insurance? Less investment, good returns, life coverage, Accident Benifit""
Can I buy car insurance if the photo on my driving license needs renewing?
Hi. Ok I appreciate I am technically breaking the law on a number of fronts with this. I have bought a car, It is taxed and tested. It is parked on the road. However I don't have any insurance and the photograph on my license has expired. It is still possible for me to buy insurance (and therefore make the car itself fully legal) before I have received my new license? Reading the DVLA websites implies I can. The license is still valid it just needs renewing. I have no convictions, health issues, etc. Just wanted to make sure as I don't want to pick up a load of points just for a misunderstanding. Thanks!!""
What's your monthly car payment? And Insurance?
I'm interested to see what people pay for their cars and car insurance compared to me. I'm a single 28 year old female living in a city. (RI) I pay $282 for a new Jetta lease and insurance is $157 per month. Just seeing if this is the average.... I'm also moving to NY suburbs and am considering changing my insurance, anyone know if I can do this if I own a home in RI still? RI has month to month sales tax, but has higher insurace premiums and NY wants sales tax up front, but NY suburbs insurance costs half as much as what I pay now. I wonder if its worth it to switch states???""
Where can I get motorcycle insurance in Ontario?
What website can I get motorcycle insurance in Ontario for a SPORT BIKE. Thanks
True or false? I can save money on car insurance by choosing a higher deductible?
True or false? I can save money on car insurance by choosing a higher deductible?
Should I get owner's title insurance?
I am set to close on my house next week, but I don't know if I want to splurge for the extra comfort of owner's title insurance. It will be $250 extra according to my attorney. I am buying the house from an estate. Apparently everything is set with probate and of course the lawyer will do the title search, but should I get the added protection for myself or just buy the lender some protection? I also don't like the fact that my lawyer takes 60% of the fee. Any thoughts on that?""
""How much would insurance cost for a 23 year old with a $1,500 car in florida?""
Assuming the car is fully paid for, how much would insurance cost on a rather cheap ($1,500) car in Florida for a 23 year old with a spotless record. If an exact amount is too hard to find, a ballpark estimate would help.""
How much would my insurance be?
I am 15, i took driver's training when i was 14. and I just got my license. i was wondering how much it would be to insure a ford focus. I get good grades, about a 3.5 gpa so i dont know if that will help lower my insurance.""
How much insurance company will raise my rate after a car accident?
My car bumped into a car at a parking lot and caused minor rear bump crack. And I called my insurance company to report a claim. Right now my rate insurance is $420/year. I would like to to know how much my insurance company will raise my rate when I renew it next year.
Why is the co-pay for dental insurance more expensive than health insurance?
I compared the co pays on several reputable dental insurance companies and it is very expensive. Many things are not covered, even with the best dental insurance. Health insurance is usually a 10 dollar co pay for primary physicians and a 35-50 dollar co pay for specialty physicians. Is there any reason why dental insurance co pay is as expensive as it is?""
Buying a used car and auto insurance?
I'm looking to get a used car in the US, but I have several questions regarding this: 1) I will have to get auto insurance before buying the car and driving it on the road. How can I do this if I haven't bought a car though? 2) I'm a non-US citizen, and I have no credit rating at the moment. Will insurance companies deny my application or will my premium go up? 3) I will be relocating to another state after getting the car. Therefore, can I purchase auto-insurance in my current state first for a month, and then purchase it again once I reside in the new state? What's the best way to handle the insurance matters in this situation? Thanks for all the help.""
What happens to money invested in whole life insurance if I live to 105?
I am 60 and bought a whole life policy about a year ago but what if I live to 105? Is there insurance available after age100? 
life insurance company quote online
life insurance company quote online
Where can I find cheap auto insurance?
I will be looking soon for auto insurance for my first car. I have bad credit, no driving record(I am just about to get my license within the next couple months), and am 26. Where can I find an insurance company with an affordable premium?""
Best way to get car insurance?
I have heard that it may be better to get car insurance from a broker rather than online. I am 18, and I want to get my own policy. I am currently a named driver on my dads policy, as it is much cheaper to do it that way but I want to buy a car in my name and start earning my own ncb. I currently drive a Jaguar X Type and the insurance costs 2100 from Tesco (with my dad as the main driver). It would cost me about 3200 to insure it myself with Tesco. I want to get a smaller car that is easier on petrol and road tax, but I am having trouble finding a realistic quote. I am thinking about either a Smart Roadster coupe, a honda civic or ford fiesta. With Tesco, I dont get 1 year ncb as I would have done with Direct Line, and the insurance would be OK if I did. Its tempting me to lie on the insurance if I cant find a decent quote (under 2000), although I wouldn't want to. Can anyone offer me any advice on how to find cheaper car insurance or recommend any companies ?""
Does MY CAR INSURANCE cover!?!?
I crashed my friends car. She has liability on her car so now she is screwed with a beat up car. I have full coverage on my car, now would I be able to use my insurance to cover her vehicle that I crashed?""
""What insurance company is the best to work for,as an agent?""
Which insurance company is the best to work for as an agent?..Allstate,American Family,Statefarm,Nationwide...etc""
""Whats a cheap car to buy, insure, Tax and repair?
i live in kent and i am getting close to getting my full licence. I am 20 years old so i know insurance is going to be expensive no matter what car i have. I don't mind the car being second hand and i don't really want to spend over 1500. I don't care what the car looks like but i need it to be as cheap as possible to insure so like the lower insurance bands and lower tax bands. It also needs to be cheap for the MOT and any repairs that need to be done. I understand that it may be cheaper to have the car in a older persons name and me as a third person but i want to start getting my no claims bonus so its cheaper for me in the long run.
Do insurance companies still ask for written no claim proof when you insure your car online?
Do insurance companies still ask for written no claim proof when you insure your car online?
Exactly when will I be covered for health insurance?
I just recently bought health insurance and I am soon to be covered end of this month (december). So, I made an appointment next month (january) for my pap smear. I'm just a little confused about the deductible and coverage rules. Even though I just got my insurance should I be covered for my appt. or will I be covered after I pay the deductible. PLEASE enlighten me. Thanks""
Would my insurance rate go up on a car with more features?
I'm buying a car today and I already have the insuance and can leave with the car today once I give a down payment. However, the car dealer and I were speaking on the phone and he told me he can give me the same car and year but with more features like a Nav Panel on the dashboard and bluetooth and a couple of other smaller details like USB ports. Now my question would be, with these new features that don't exactly change much from the car I was originally getting, would this make my insurance go up?""
How many of you out there have Car Insurance?
i'm an insurance agent (youngest one in the office-only 22) and i'm trying to come up with some numbers for how many people are driving around uninsured. if you have Insurance what company do you have? if you dont why not? and have you ever been insured? children under 16 (or unlicensed individuals) need not answer.
What insurance do i need? i need help with life!?
ok, i just turned 18, and i want to move out of my house with my boyfriend, into an apartment we found. ( dont tell me how much of a bad idea that is, ive already heard it) so anyway, what insurance do i need to get? and explain it please. life insurance? health insurance? (i dont need car insurance) i need help, being all alone now in the big world""
""If you have Mercury Insurance in the state of Florida, how much will the insurance cost for new 2014 Kia Forte?""
It's the base car no extra things in, just the LX""
Which insurance companies offer the lowest rates for a vehicle?
I would just like to know with peoples experience with different insurance companies which ones are more reasonable than the others. I'm looking to buy a sports car soon so I just need to know which insurance company won't rip me off. thanks
Fast cheap automatic sedan?
Im looking for a first car. I need a 4 door sedan because insurance is cheaper, I need an automatic car because manual seems hard. How long would it take to learn stick shift by the way? Price rage is $12,000 at the most! I've been looking at the Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V, MazdaSpeed Proteges, and Volkswagen GTI. I realize that some of them are manual.""
CAR INSURANCE <how much>?
how much is the car insurance for eg. opel corsa <cheapest car> because it would be my first car if you're a woman under 25 im actually 18
""What kind of qualities should I look for when purchasing a car? ie insurance, modern elements...?""
For experienced buyers: As an entry level analyst looking to purchase a car, I was hoping to get some ideas about my first big purchase. My norm has usually been purchasing something and regretting it some time down the road ie Bought a Dell laptop, turns out it heats up a lot. Or a new smartphone (android), turns out it freezes plenty. So I want to purchase a car, and was hoping if someone who is experienced could possibly take some time off to tell me what I should look out for. I understand insurance is a *****, and even though cars are affordable on lease, the insurance will get you. My objective: Car : Lease a pre-owned or 2nd hand car, possibly 2012 or 2013 model, 4 door, sedan. Insurance : Max coverage, low payment (ideal but, shoot for the stars and....) Questions: I understand there are qualities or modern elements like lane stabilizer and effective cruise control that can reduce insurance coverage. How effective can they be? What kind of sedans have low insurance and are modernistic, such as built in navigation and those cool looking monitors? (kind of childish) Which insurance coverages are the most important, there is basic, comprehensive.... If you need additional information, I will be checking this question hourly and will be glad to provide additional information. Thanks!""
Anyone know where my husband can get dental work done with no insurance?
he is in a huge amount of pain and nothing is working anymore he has even went as far as rinsing his mouth out with peroxide! [ i know right!] but any how we don't have dental insurance and i was wondering is there anywhere he can go like a free clinic or something? we live in East bay California any help would be great thanks! no rude comments please
What is an easy and cheap way to get a supra up to around 300-400bhp?
i know it wouldnt be cheap but as cheap as possible..also no more than 400bhp yet as the insurance will be sky high i'm 21...i don't want it to be an absolute monster yet but i want it to be able to keep up if you know what i mean..i have about 10,000..why have you got so much at 21 you ask? my dad died when i was 9 and when i turned 18 i got 45,000,, remember i dont want to spend more than 10,00 but will be willing to go a little over.""
How much to insure a 2003 BMW 325i in GA?
Iam Canadian living in the States for 6 month out of a year in ATL. I wonder how much will my ins would cost like basic insurance coverage.
How much will gas and insurance cost for me?
I will be driving at least 30 miles per day on week days and about 12 miles per day on the weekend. I am 18 and in college. I haven't gotten my driver's license but plan to take the test in a month or two. I don't know what the MPG of my car will be as I have not purchase it yet but I can almost guarantee it will be fairly old so that may help determine it somewhat. An estimate on a cheap car would be nice too.
Where are gender therapist in Michigan that's affordable or that take medicaid?
trying to seek help but my funds are kind of low and I have medicaid insurance and I live in Clinton, Michigan can anyone help I really need help please""
Does where you live affect your car insurance price even if you're only third party/fire/theft?
I recently moved to a city from the countryside. I guess I need to inform my car insurance company of this, but I'm worried they'll want some more money off me and tbh I don't have any whatsoever! Do you think they will? I only have third party/fire/theft cover.""
I scraped the bumper of a parked car. Is it cheaper to pay it off or send it to my insurance?
I have a clean driving record, but i accidentally scraped a car parked next to me. There was a dinnerplate sized scrape, and the guy sent me a estimate for $400. Will it be cheaper for me to send it to my insurance, or pay it out of pocket?""
Teen car insurance questions?
ok i am 17 and i am looking for car insurance and confused can i get a policy of my own or do i have to be added to my parents policy ? and i went to progressive and they said it be lik 2500 is that pretty cheap or hella expensive ?
Math question about cars and insurance?
I make 10 dollars an hour, full time job, 80+ hour checks with about 100 dollars in commission monthly. (1700 a month before taxes). I have to pay my rent, 325, my electric, 200 a month, and my phone bill- 40 dollars a month. My internet is 15 a month. How much do you think I could pay for a car, and insurance for a car without going broke? As in, what kind of price brackets should I stay in? I've been driving a car that's paid off since I was 16, now that car is falling apart. I need help, I've never done this before! :) Thanks!""
How much is car insurance?
we are moving to newmarket, ontario. we are wanting to get rough ideas about the cost of car insurance. i hear it is quite expensive but was wondering if someone could illustrate in some way or give an example of how it is worked out. also could someone reccommend a trustful dealer?""
life insurance company quote online
life insurance company quote online
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-best-health-insurance-grad-students-michael-mann-1/"
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