#do you ever read something that makes you want to get a physical copy and fry it up and eat it

[faunary]

And thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on:

Lord Byron, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, Canto the Third, Stanza 32

[etherealkissed88]

5 GAME CHANGERS OF THE LAW ★

loass things i think you should know that makes things easier

“DARE TO ASSUME” + JUST HAVE FAITH: just accept/assume what you want as easily as you effortlessly assume negative things. just do it. most of the time people are thinking about the 'perfect way' to imagine or manifest. they look for the 'perfect technique' when theres no such thing. just dare to assume it is yours now! when it is assumed, have faith in that assumption. just decide its done no matter what you see. whatever you assume and persist in will harden into a fact right? once youve assumed it true, go about your 3d life having faith in imagination. know that your desires exist already since creation is finished so theres no way that it's "impossible to manifest". just surrender yourself to faith. just trust the law. you have been applying the law since you were born without knowing. now that you understand the law, just allow yourself to have faith in it. it cannot fail. you assume something to be true and continue being that version of you in imagination aka persisting = manifestation. thats the law. if fears, anxiety, or negative thoughts come, "dare to assume" they have no affect on you, because by default they dont either way. "dare to assume its yours because you are always the operant power who choses how life goes. it gets to a point when youre tired of going back and forth with “i have it” to “no i dont”. it all comes down to faith. you should have faith in yourself and the law especially since the five senses you use to interact with the 3d are all limited and you cant see everything that goes on in the 3d. thats why it makes sense to assume something and stick with it regardless of the 3d. when will you realize that a version of you who has your desires already exists, so just surrender to the version of you who has it already in imagination. stop limiting yourself because of “fears” and just say yes to imagination.

so, i dont give a fuck about what negative thoughts or anxiety you have, just assume its done. its too easy but you overcomplicate it. once assumed, have faith and persist because this is called the law of assumption after all.

THE 3D FOLLOWS, IT DOES NOT PRECEDE: the 3d does not have a mind of its own. its only job is to reflect imagination so who ever you are being imagination, it copies. im sure youve heard the phrase “signs follow, they do not precede” which means signs do not come before your manifestation. they are there (if your limited senses can see it) because that is who you are assuming to be in imagination so it follows that (signs arent important either way so dont spend time searching for them and focusing on them when you should be focused on already being at your end goal which is already having ur desire). similarly with the 3d, the 3d literally only follows you so for it to change or show you something you want, you have to change self/imagination. the 3d literally obeys imagination so expecting it to change without changing self doesnt make sense. if you find yourself getting angry w the 3d, remind yourself “the 3d follows, it does not precede”. it cannot move on its own without your permission because you are the operant power. knowing this should send you straight into being the change you want to see and depend on limitless imagination only.

this also helps with accepting you are the only source of power and helps stop yourself from validating and depending on the 3d. when you know the 3d depends on you to change, you no depend on the 3d to show you your desire. you no longer crave seeing change from it, rather you be the change.

YOU WANT THE FEELING: im not even gonna say you dont want it in the 3d because of course your human self wants the physical experience. but you have to know that the feeling (the knowing, not emotions), dictate how you feel about it in the 3d. for example, read this and realize that even if you physically manifest your desire, if you dont feel / know that it is truly yours (aka if you arent fulfilled), it can lead you to get insecure and assume negative. an example is when someone manifests their sp but they still assume that their sp will get tired of them and wouldnt love them for long. this person was not feeling fulfilled (knowing) that they were in a committed and loving relationship which is why even with physical proof of the relationship, they still felt that it wouldnt last. you want the feeling of being loved, of having financial freedom, of feeling confident in your body, and then the physical manifestation of it is a cherry on top. you see how that if you lack the knowing (feeling) of your desire, you can allow bad assumptions to overconsume you and even ruin the fun experience of physically experiencing it in the 3d because you arent even sure of really having it (another example of how who you are in imagination = everything else).

focus on that inner fulfillment next time you imagine something. are you satisfying yourself and returning to the state to the point where you can accept it and know its truly done?

ENJOY YOURSELF: actually imagine to enjoy yourself. what do you want to experience? forget about trying to manifest that sp or money, what do you actually want to experience with that desire? whatever you truly want, imagine it for your own enjoyment and once imagined, it is experienced. manifesting is literally supposed to be fun so imagine for fun, do your techniques for fun and by law, it will reflect either way. realize that imagination can take you anywhere at anytime. you can imagine anything you want so imagine to the point where you dont desire that thing anymore because you know it is yours in limitless imagination. this is fulfillment: you realize you are experiencing it now as limitless self and you are doing it for your own enjoyment. thats leaving the 3d alone and not depending on it for validation and thats the best part of satisfying yourself in imagination.

i say this because ive realized that when i used to imagine something and do techniques, it would feel like im forcing myself to do it and then i dont even actually enjoy myself and enjoy whatever i imagine. figure out specifically what it is you want and imagine it any way you want. chase that satisfaction.

YOU EXPERIENCE IT INSTANTLY: when you imagine something, you experience it right away. it is experienced in the present always! if i imagine myself holding $1000, i really am holding $1000 in that moment. this is because you are consciousness simply being aware of whatever. once you are aware of something in imagination, it really has been experienced already. once imagined, it really happened! if you think this is not true its because you limit yourself to the dead, neutral 3d and think that the 3d is the only 'real' thing. this is not true especially since the 3d is a reflection of who you are being or who you assume to be in imagination, meaning that imagination is everywhere and is the 3d. as the operant power, you have full control over everything (over what manifests or not, etc). so even though you really experienced something in imagination instantly, you can assume it is true or not. you are the only source of power that can choose to identify with what you wants and has full control over whether or not something will be true in your reality. stop waiting for the 3d to change in order to “accept” it. stop being a slave to the 3d when you are the one who controls it in the first place. you can experience it instantly right now so why wait for the 3d to do that?

literally imagination is the source, yes? its the source because it always is molding the 3d (since they are connected) so hearing that once you imagine something, you experienced it instantly, should give you the confidence to know you really do have your desire already since it has already been experienced in imagination. nothing in the 3d can change until you change self (imagination) so imagination/self is powerful which is why you are powerful because you = imagination/self. thats literally why you have the ability to manifest in the first place. all there is to do is persist by living 3d life knowing/assuming/identifying as that version of you who has it already.

kisses, jani ☆

[empty-movement]

Chiho Saito’s 1999 Revolutionary Girl Utena Original Illustration Collection

IT’S HERE. IT’S DONE. IT’S FINISHED. NOW…IT’S YOURS. Happy Holidays, my friends.

Vanna here! I have posted some already about this project, and the responses I got, public and otherwise, have been absolutely incredible. Y’all have been reblogging and hyping this before it even finished…I haven’t felt so encouraged about an Utena project since the musicals! (Yes, streams soon, I promise.) You can read the other post to get more details, and catch my post here with more details about the process if you’re interested. The long and short of it?

This is the first artbook I ever scanned. I did it in 2001. In Photoshop, using multiple scans per page that took hours to process. But it was 2001. A half megabyte file that was 1250px wide was considered extremely hardcore and impressive. That’s just always been the business I’m in when it comes to Utena art, you know? 

It’s now the latest artbook I’ve scanned, and so much of the process, and effort involved, is unchanged. What has changed, is the result. Welcome to your new desktop background. Your new phone background. Your new poster print. 

What I’ve done here is attempt to create definitive digitized images of Chiho Saito’s work as offered by this book--I have removed the print moiré of the original scans, and used my literal decades of experience to try and tease out as much information from them as possible. Without being physically in front of the original artwork (which is a thing I’ve had the great fortune to get to do) this is The Most Chiho Saito you are ever going to get. I’ve tried my best to make sure there is a way to get it that works for everyone:

Do you just wanna scope 'em out? Look at some disaster gays? Grab your favorite one or two? This is the path for you! Check out the ‘compressed’ (not very) 10k ‘web friendly’ (not really) copy at the Bibliothèque, the media archiving wing of the Something Eternal forums at Empty Movement*. All the following links are also available from here. Do you want these copies? All of them? Don't just grab them individually, friend. This batch is 375MB and can be downloaded as a zip of the individual files here on our Google Drive.

Do you like digital archiving? Are you looking for a copy that preserves the archival quality of the effort but sits nice and comfy in a single file? This is for you. A minimally compressed 10k, 513MB version worked into a PDF is now up, shiny and chrome, on the Internet Archive. Do you like the idea of the minimal compression, but want the individual files in a zip? Yep I did that too, here's the drive link.

Are you looking to print these in a larger size? This is probably the only reason on Earth you’d ever want them, and yet a bunch of you are going to go straight for these. Here are the zero-compression JPG full size copies, most of them are 15k across, like simply a ridiculous size. Pick your fave and download it from our Google Drive! 

I am genuinely really proud of this work.** I was able to tease out so much new detail from these…her incredible layering techniques, the faintest brush of her highlights, and the full range of her delicate hand at whites and blacks… details commonly lost in digitization. I sincerely hope you find something here that you’re looking for, as an artist looking for inspiration, as a weeb looking for a desktop, as an archiver excited to see incredible 90s manga artwork saved forever in the digital realm. I feel like I have already said so much about them, and could keep going, but you know what? This work speaks for itself. Enjoy, use, explore, and definitely tell us what you think!

We love y’all. ~ Vanna & Yasha

* AHEM ASTERISK AHEM

You might be wondering what any of that is. Something Eternal? Biblewhatawhat??? EmptyMovement.com? You might even have done a double take at the word ‘forum.’ And you should!!!

I have a confession. This artbook was my ‘side project’ as I worked on this, *the main project.* For a couple years I’ve been banging around with a new domain, and originally I had other plans for it, but Elon Musk ruined my Twitter and Discord is well along on its way to enshittification, and well….we joke on the Discord a lot about ‘reject modernity, embrace forums’ and you know what? We’re right. So Yasha and I are putting our money where our mouths are once again, and doing something insane. We are launching, in 2023, a website forum. Obviously, this is not the official ‘launch’ per se, but I cannot announce the artbook without directing you to the forum, since it sits on the attached very cool gallery system. Oops! Told on myself. Another post more focused on the forum will be forthcoming, but if you are just that motivated to get in right away, you absolutely can! (This will help stagger new arrivals anyway, which is good for us!) If you would rather wait for the ‘official’ launch, by all means that’s coming, including a lengthy screed about how and why we’re doing this. In either case, remember: this is a couple weebs trying to make internet magic happen, we are not website developers by trade. Give us grace as we iron things out and grow into this cool new website thingie…hopefully along with some of you! :D

If you do join up, naturally, there is a thread about this project!

** If you like this kind of content, consider helping us pay for it! We do have a Patreon! If you’re wanting to use these in some public-facing distributive way, all we ask is for credit back to Empty Movement (ohtori.nu or emptymovement.com, either will work.) 

I would like to say ‘don’t just slap these files on RedBubble to get easy money’ but I know that saying this won’t effectively prevent it. Y’all that do that suck, but you’re not worth letting it rain on the rest of this parade. :)

[my-castles-crumbling]

unrequited - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 535

"Is Your Love Unrequited? A Quiz for the Wishing Witch," James read from his stolen copy of Witch Weekly.

Sirius laughed, leaning his head back on Remus's lap, nudging his arm to signal he'd like the taller boy to play with his hair. "Go on, then."

"If you answer yes to five or more of these questions, he's interested," James continued, settling back on his pillow and skimming over the text. "Oh, this is.." he rolled his eyes, making a gagging noise.

"No, read it, I need something to wash all the Arithmancy from my brain, my head aches!" Sirius pushed, groaning only a little when Remus's magical hands moved to massage his temples.

"Alright. First, he initiates physical contact," James recited, eyes flickering up at Remus and Sirius.

Remus's hand stuttered for a second, but continued, combing through his hair. "Obviously those editors don't know Padfoot," he laughed. "Remember the time he greeted every new first-year with a hug?"

James and Peter both chortled. "I forgot about that!" Peter laughed.

"Two, he remembers details about you," James read, smirking a bit.

Again, Remus's hand stalled before continuing.

"Well, I'm fucked. I have a shit memory," Peter piped up, breaking the awkward silence.

Remus looked down at Sirius for a second, meeting his eyes. Damn, Remus's eyes were so beautiful. He could stare at them for days..

"Three, he makes lots of eye contact," James continued, shocking Sirius out of his thoughts.

Remus's hand stopped completely, now, coming to rest on Sirius's shoulder. "So...I can't make eye contact without girls thinking I fancy them?" he joked halfheartedly. But the entire time, he was looking at Sirius.

"Maybe I should stare at Evans more..." James murmured, only for the other three boys to interrupt with a chorus of "No!"s.

But Sirius felt a bit nervous, now. This was becoming more than a coincidence. "What's the next one, Prongs?"

"Erm, yeah. Four. He gets jealous when you've dated other people," James read.

Sirius froze, mulling this over in his mind. All the times he'd avoided being with Remus when Remus brought a girl to Hogsmeade. All the times Remus had seemed extra moody after he'd brought someone back to the dorm...

"Blimey, sounds like Pads and Moony!" Peter said unhelpfully, an oblivious grin on his face. "I don't think either of them has ever liked someone the other was dating!"

Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with Remus, now. "Ha, yeah," he muttered. "Last one, Prongs?" Might as well get it over with.

James looked back at the magazine, only to laugh out loud. "Five," he read with relish. "He introduces you to his friends."

Silence.

"A strong foundation of friendship and mutual friends is important in a relationship. If he wants you to be friends with his-" James continued with a shit-eating grin.

"Alright," Sirius interrupted, head still on Remus's lap. He sat up, looking at Remus.

Remus looked back nervously.

"Well, Moony. That's five for five. According to the magazine, we're mad for each other. What do you think?" he asked hesitantly.

"I think James and Peter need to leave the room," came Remus's reply, making Sirius grin like an idiot.

[saikoucorps]

:ఌ¨ ♱ DATING NEITO MONOMA

☆ warnings : none!

☆ tags : gn!reader, fluff, monoma can pull

☆ summary : crush to dating hcs

CRUSH :

Before you guys would start dating he'd copy your quirk just to help you out. Sometimes, he doesn't even explain why he's helping you.

If you're in class 1-A, he never talks bad about you, infact he admires you openly.

The whole class can tell he favorites you..

He's automatically calmer around you, but it doesn't stop him from making snarky remarks at class 1-A

Literally will find a way to cling to you and say something like, "You should be proud you're standing next to me!"

If you're around, he'll automatically try to impress you.

Whether that's by not insulting class 1-A or just using his quirk in a cool way.

Would do crazy stunts and then say "That was too easy."

He would tease you for your interests..

But then secretly learn them later that night.

EASILY FLUSTERED.

If you complimented him he wouldn't know what to say, he'd try to play it off then quickly brag to everyone that YOU complimented him.

He's huge on giving compliments.

He will compliment you out loud and EVERYONE will know.

He can be pretty obvious about his crush on you..

But if anyone tried to mention it, he'd deny it and say you weren't "worth" dating him. (You totally are.)

He can be a huge flirt, but usually insults you to mask how obvious it is.

Makes everything a competition.

Especially between you and him

Borderline stalker. Not on purpose.. I think.

He's able to read people very easily, so if you were upset, he'd try to make that day easier for you.. it really isn't noticeable, though. At all.

He absolutely would not confess to you first. You'd have to.

And if you did, he'd say, "I knew you liked me, I'm amazing."

But he'd accept your confession without hesitation.

And when you two start dating, he makes it KNOWN you guys are.

No one is surprised.

DATING :

The compliments NEVER left.

Neither did the insults.

He has no filter ever, even when he's dating you.

If you're geuinley upset at something he said, he'd try to reassure you that he was only trying to help you improve.

He's still good at reading people. He always knows when you're upset.

Huge compliment fisher, especially for you.

Gives the best advice ever, it can be hard to tell if he's serious though..

HUGE SHOW OFF

The moment you leave the room, he brags about you. If you're in class 1-A, he'd constantly say they're undeserving of you.

Huge gossiper. He's definitely always ease dropping and comes to you with the juiciest details ever.

He always knows what the right thing to say is with you. He also knows when it's the right time to be cocky and tease you.

Always in your personal space..

He'll cling to you, and I mean that.

He'd try to fix your outfit, lay on your shoulder, poke you, use you as a arm rest, or anything stupid.

And he denies everything if you mention it.

Only takes criticism from you (and teaches).. so if you tell him he did something wrong he'd freak out.

But he'd fix it.

If it worked.. he'd think of you more highly (if that was even possible)

But you wouldn't get a huge thanks from him.

He still flirts with you, except he doesn't try to hide it anymore.

Despite all this, he still is a huge gentleman.

I'm talking holding the door for you, moving things out your way, etc.

He treats you like a literal god sometimes.

LOVES to tease you, and annoy you.

100% is the jealous type. He loves what you to have, and wants to keep it purely between you two. So when another guy comes into the picture, teasing or complimenting you, he can't help but feel jealous.

When he's jealous he'll cling onto you more, or become way more insufferable.

When you two are alone, he can act way better.

He's calmer with you, always.

So what he says to you in private is more meaningful.

He definitely becomes way more affectionate to...

His love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation.

He's canonically rich, so I see him spoiling you in gifts and overly fancy stuff.

He never doubts you ever. He only wants what's best for you and your future.

[monimccoythings]

Random headcanons of Alastor and his child!reader

This will mix headcanons from both the living and the afterliving times.

Tw: Controlling behavior, implied cannibalism, references to murder.

This is not proof read so I apologize for any grammar and vocabulary mistakes.

Your home is always filled with music. Be it the radio, a record player or him singing. There's always someone playing a tune. Even now at the hotel you can always find him in one of the common rooms humming a song or with his cathedral radio on.

Loves dancing with you, you'll be helping him cook and next thing you know he is swirling you around the room, music mixing with your combined laughter.

From a very young age, he will teach you to love the radio. He is immensely proud of his job (the legal one) and wants to share it with you.

Likes to treat your wounds and illness the traditional way, just like he used to when you were alive. You got a scratch? He is cleaning it for you and bandaging it up. You are down with something? He'll wrap you in blankets with a hot water bottle and feed you old family remedies and warm soup. If the wound or illness is way too severe to his liking, he will immediately make it go away with a snap of his fingers, otherwise he just likes to act like your caregiver and mother hen you.

Really loves to pull the 'single hardworking dad' act that makes the mothers and female teachers at your school swoon. He is not really interested in pursuing anything further with them, but boy, does he enjoy the attention.

He likes to check on you while you are sleeping. Sometimes he just stays there, quietly watching you sleep, his ever present smile growing bigger as a sense of pride fills his chest.

Lots of dad jokes, I think he's the only one who could pull it off and have everyone laugh. It goes with his radio host charisma and personality.

He does your hair. This man has singlehandledly researched and become well versed in the art of braiding hair. Braids, pigtails, or just brush it, you call it, you got it.

Alastor loves control and having power over people, he is the kind of dad that will subtly talk you out of doing something he doesn't approve of, just using his inmense charms and smooth talking skills to convince you into thinking this was your decision after doing some critical thinking. "Cher, I don't think you should do X, how about you do Y instead?" "I'm sure your friend is too busy to hang out today, why don't we go to the ice cream shop?" He won't ever put you down or make you feel bad about anything, but if you are deviating for the path that he has already set for you (the safe path) he will immediately persuade you to go back to the right way, his way. In Hell that aspect of him has become a million times worse, since he has already lost you once and has become someone with many dangerous enemies who wouldn't hesitate to use you to get back at him. His overprotectiveness and controlling behavior skyrocket when he becomes a demon, which eventually will come back to bite him in the ass.

Doesn't like having anyone question about your biological parents. He is your parent. You don't need anybody else.

Alastor is not fond of physical affection, unless he is the one initiating it. But, since he has had you since you were a baby, he has mostly grown used to your touch. He has become proficient enough in detecting your moods that he knows exactly when you are going to need a hug, a kiss or some other kind of physical comfort, so he can get ahead and start the contact first. He admits that one of his favorite ways nowadays to show affection to you is ruffling your fluffy hair, lightly tickling your ears, his eyes fill with joy when your ears get all twitchy.

Your room back at the hotel is a carbon copy of the one you had back when you were alive, but bigger, and with a private old timey bathroom. Alastor likes to come in whenever he pleases, he is the unliving embodiment of "I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your parent by coming in anyway". He even said so once. Word by word.

You can't stand Mimzy. Sorry, it's a fact, she always gets your name wrong and only comes by if she needs something from your dad. She seems to not be very fond of you either, can't understand why in Hell Alastor would waste his time so willingly just to take care of a snooty brat that ain't even his. But your father seems to like her enough, so you swallow up your critics.

When he was alive, and came back from a 'hunt', he always brought a little memorabilia for you, maybe some old watch, a fancy toy or trinket the victim had on them at that moment. Whatever little thing that wasn't too incriminating and pretty enough to be worthy of you. Now that you know the truth, you can't stop wondering with dread if every little thing he gifts you belonged once to a poor tormented soul that crossed in his path.

Might had fed you human remians in his stews. He utterly denies it, claiming that he would never do that to your delicate stomach. But the suspicious way his eyes quickly dart around the room, makes you think otherwise. It was the Great Depression after all, food was scarce. You'd rather not dwell too much on it or you will never eat anything ever again.

He is a monster, and it pained you to have been so blind all these years, but even after discovering his true nature, the only thing you could say about his parenting before that terrible night of the discovery, was that he was an excellent dad, a tad bit overbearing and overprotective, but a great parent nonetheless.

[tenelkadjowrites]

Wallflower - Final Part - Seonghwa x Reader (NSFW)

PART ONE HERE. PART TWO HERE. PART THREE HERE.

🌻 Summary: A decision on Seonghwa’s part finally forces you to make choices in regards to your job and your feelings for him.

🌻 Word count: 7.6k

🌻 Genre & warnings: nerdy seonghwa with coworker reader. fem pronouns for reader. smut. oral sex, both reader giving and receiving. dirty talk. unprotected sex. creampie.

🌻Tags are now at the bottom of the fic.

this fic is not meant to represent seonghwa in any way, shape or form.

               “Oh, you didn’t want to take advantage of wearing jeans this Friday?” Sir Dipshit looms over your desk, peering down at you with a curious expression on his face.

               “I didn’t, I actually don’t really like wearing jeans,” You reply, pretending to be engrossed in reading an e-mail.

               “Don’t like wearing jeans?” He says incredulously, “Never heard of such a thing! You know, it’s a perk for the office to wear jeans on the occasional Friday. Seems to be a shame not to take advantage of it.”

               Your skin is starting to crawl from this conversation. Time to get out of it. You close out of the e-mail and push away from your desk, making a show of having forgotten something.

               “Completely forgot to get that TPS report cover that I made a copy of.” You are inching past Sir Dipshit. “Sorry, excuse me.”

               Before he can say anything, you are scurrying away from your cubicle, taking the long way to the copy machine by circling over to Seonghwa’s cubicle.

               He is typing away, oblivious to your presence since his back is towards you. You haven’t been with him physically since Tuesday when you devoured one another with such force that you still can’t really wrap your head around it. Ever since then, it isn’t that things have been awkward but…something has felt different. Off. Wrapped up and shoved in the back of the closet with the door tightly shut with all the other problems you’re ignoring.

               Not that Seonghwa is a problem. Which is a problem in its own special way because everything around him feels so damn good.

               “Wow,” You drawl, “No jeans? You know, it’s a company perk to wear jeans on the occasional Friday and you’re not taking advantage of it.”

               Seonghwa laughs, swiveling in his chair to face you. He’s wearing a baby blue button up today. The sleeves are a little too large for his wrists but it still somehow works, making him look delicate. He pushes his sandy blonde hair out of his face, slender fingers bringing back memories that you shouldn’t be thinking about right now. His pants are dress slacks in a crème colour which you are currently gesturing to.

               “You got the lecture too?” Seonghwa goes.

               “I sure did. Had to lie to get out of the conversation. Walk with me to the copier?”

               He nods, and the two of you set off across the office together. At one point, you hear a distinct giggle of your coworker and steadfastly ignore it. You aren’t going to be pretending that you’re not friends with Seonghwa anymore. You glance at him, taking note of a small hint of colour across his cheeks. He must hear them laughing at us, you think as a surge of annoyance at your coworkers and job strikes your chest.

               “You wanna grab lunch together?” You ask.

               “Yeah, sure,” He seems distracted now although you chalk it up to the laughter, “Sorry that I couldn’t yesterday but that meeting ran long.”

               “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

               At the copier, you pretend to press a few buttons, knowing damn well there is nothing here that you need to do. Seonghwa is looking out the window, lost in thought.

               “You gonna tell me what’s going on?”

               “I have to tell you something,” He says at the same time.

               Alarmed, you blink. “What?”

               “Maybe I should wait until lunch, actually…”

               “No, no, no, you absolutely cannot dangle a ‘I have to tell you something’ and then make me wait longer,” You say urgently, staring at him with wide eyes, “What is it?”

               “It’s – it’s nothing major. I just wanted to say uh…tomorrow night. I have a date.”

               The words land in a small pile at your feet. You are vaguely aware of the noises of people typing, the scent of cheap breakroom coffee, the low hum of conversation and phones ringing. The sun is bright and hot, pouring in from the windows and landing on your skin with a sizzle.

               “Oh, that’s…that’s great,” Some part of you replies, “Cool.”

               Seonghwa looks uncomfortable and awkward. The gap that has been growing since the last time you slept together, since the kisses afterward were a little too soft and a little too kind, seems to visible widen in front of you. Inwardly unmoored, you try to collect your features into the face of someone who is happy for a friend.

               “I just wanted to let you know,” Seonghwa says – is his voice stilted or are you projecting your own feelings onto him?

               “Well yeah, I mean, that’s what friends do, right? Keep each other up to date on stuff,” You reply and the remark feels so hollow that you want to shriek and take a bat to the copy machine.

               “Yeah,” He seems to linger on the word, swallowing hard and looking out the window. The sun reflects off his glasses and you can’t see his eyes.

               The conversation stalls. You scan the office, seeing Sir Dipshit is now safely tucked away. “I should get back to my desk. Thanks for walking with me.”

               Seonghwa nods and you turn around before he can say anything else, wrangling with the strange feelings fighting in your chest and the uncomfortable way your morning coffee sits in your stomach. It doesn’t matter, you tell yourself, we’re just friends.

               Even though you want to stop yourself, you glance at Seonghwa over your shoulder. He is still by the copy machine, face tilted towards the window, lost in thought. Maybe you should have asked more about the date like who he is going with, what they’re like but you couldn’t muster the energy.

               You’re the one who told him that the two of you are just friends. What did you expect? The sex is just secondary to the friendship.

               The friendship. The words are sour in your heart. Sitting down at your desk, you stare at the computer screen, chafing at being here but knowing there isn’t anywhere else to be. This is your job. You asked for this. Just like you asked to be Seonghwa’s friend.

*

               Saturday morning is bright and beautiful, the complete opposite of your own disposition which is more like a hurricane growing stronger in the ocean. As the morning bleeds into the afternoon, your mind can only think about the dread of going back to work Monday morning…and Seonghwa going on his date tonight.

               The conversation at lunch yesterday had been stiff, the rift threatening to tear the entire friendship to shreds. You blame yourself – you are the one who told Seonghwa to date and now you’re the one acting weird about it. It’s unfair to send such confusing messages to him especially when you don’t even understand it yourself. But every time you tried to act ‘normal’, it only felt more artificial.

               Now, your unhappiness is a heavy weight on your chest and you lost the sledgehammer to break it apart. By the time you convince yourself to leave the apartment and do something to enjoy your day, it is the middle of the afternoon.

               While your money slips through your fingers to buy an assortment of shit you don’t need while traversing the city, your mind is restless. It circles between Seonghwa and work like a tennis match from hell. You are so swept up in your own thoughts that it isn’t until you come to a sudden stop and look upwards that you realize exactly where your feet have taken you, almost of their own accord.

               Pushing on the door, you step inside the quiet store. Small dust motes swirl in the light, landing on shelves filled with pendulums, tarot cards, spell jars and glittering crystals. The air smells heavy with incense, and a large crystal ball in the centre of the store shimmers gently. There is no one else in the shop and for the first time all day, you feel strangely at peace as if you’ve been here before.

               “Just a second!” comes a muffled voice from the back room which is separated by a gauzy purple curtain.

               You hadn’t meant to end up at the shop Seonghwa’s friend, Wooyoung, runs. But maybe your subconscious had. Maybe you’re just trying to find answers out of the labyrinth of your own making.

Your hands are filled with bags stuffed with various purchases of items you don’t need and you awkwardly navigate the small shop, careful not to knock anything off a table.

               You are looking at a collection of small necklaces when Wooyoung pops up from the back of the shop. He is wearing a black dress shirt with a few buttons undone, exposing the tanned skin of his chest. His hair is messy, swept up in a small ponytail, rings adorning every finger, catching the light. In the middle of his chest swings a small amethyst crystal. There is something mischievous about him, a sort of energy that just feels tied to him as a person instead of an act for running a store like this.

               “Admiring the necklaces?” He says by way of greeting, swooping from behind the counter to come to your side. He smells faintly of cinnamon.

               You nod, suddenly unsure if Seonghwa has even mentioned you to his group of friends. Do they know the two of you have been sleeping together? Maybe bringing him up will be awkward as hell. But now that you ended up here, you know exactly why and need to see it through.

               “Yes, I really like this one,” You reply, your fingers gently brushing against a small necklace that has a circular mark that looks like two pieces fitting together.

               Wooyoung looks pleased, “Made that one myself. Saw it in a dream.”

               “What does it mean?” The metal is cold against your fingertip.

               “Hm, I think the dream was about a binding spell. I don’t remember much, mostly just that design stuck out to me.” He looks at you slyly. “If you feel drawn to it, you should pick it up.”

               You laugh. “I know a sales pitch when I hear one.”

               “Half sales pitch, half just me being honest. If you feel drawn to anything in this shop, it’s usually for a reason.”

               I think I was drawn to the shop in general seeing as I just wandered over here, you think to yourself. You do slip the necklace off the display shelf, deciding that you might as well make a purchase since you showed up to mostly bother Wooyoung.

               “I actually came here for a reason. I’m…ah…friends. With Seonghwa.”

               Wooyoung’s brows come together for a brief second before he narrows his gaze a little. “Oh. Wait, you’re…”

               “His coworker,” You say hastily, “Has he mentioned me?”

               “He’s talked about you, yeah.” And by the way Wooyoung neatly avoids your gaze, you know that he is well aware of what your friendship with Seonghwa entails. “Did he mention my shop to you?”

               “He did. He said it was in the historic district and well, there’s not a lot of tarot shops in this area. I know it sounds strange but I wanted to talk to you. Seonghwa mentioned that you left a cushy job to start this shop. I’m feeling pretty lost with my own work. I want to leave it but I don’t know where to go. Were you scared when you left?”

               “Are you kidding me? I was terrified. Not only was I starting my own business but I was running a tarot shop which can be extremely niche depending on the area. Luckily, I landed this spot in the historic district which worked in my favor but I would say the first six months were touch and go. I wasn’t sure if the business was going to stay open or if I’d be successful. But I kept with it and eventually, I started getting a regular batch of clients and word of mouth spread. I was able to expand the shop outside of just tarot readings and more of a storefront,” Wooyoung pauses for a moment before adding, “Hwa has mentioned you’re pretty unhappy at work.”

               “I am. I just don’t know what to do next. I don’t know where to go or what I even want to do. I guess I feel sorta…stuck. I want to change but I don’t know what direction. And I…I worry that I’ve been placing too much of that anxiety on Seonghwa.”

               Wooyoung cocks his head to the side. “I know we just met and I know this is a personal question that I’m about to ask. But I have to ask it because Seonghwa is my friend.”

               “Fair enough.”

               “How do you feel about him?”

               “I…” You trail off, suddenly feeling incredibly shy. Wooyoung stares at you patiently although you get the sense he isn’t going to back down from the question. “I like him.”

               “How much do you like him? Is it just friendly? Or is it you like him enough just to get what you need from him?”

               Aghast, you shake your head. “I’m not – it’s not like that. I’m not using him. I really do like him.”

               “How much then?” He presses.

               “I…I mean does that matter?” You opt to deflect. “He has a date tonight.”

               “Does that bother you? How much does that bother you?”

               “Geez,” You say, feeling your face growing warm, “I didn’t think this would be an interrogation.”

               “It isn’t anything against you personally. I’m sure you’re nice. But, and I know Seonghwa will be annoyed with me for saying this, he’s quite smitten with you. He kept telling me that the two of you are just friends and now he’s going on this date. But I don’t think his heart is in it. His heart is with you. And now, not only is Seonghwa leading himself down a path that doesn’t follow what he wants, he’s potentially getting someone else involved that could end up liking or even loving him and they won’t get his full attention because of his feelings for you.”

               You’re floored by the brutal honesty. Must run in the group of friends, you think wryly, remembering the few times Seonghwa has been blunt in his own manner with you as well.

               But some part of you likes that Wooyoung is so open in protecting Seonghwa even if it means bringing things to the surface you keep running from. It meant you couldn’t avoid the topics any longer.

               “I want you to stand here and take a few seconds to really think about Seonghwa and think about how you feel about him.”

               Chewing on your bottom lip, you go, “Why are you trying to help me?”

               “I’m not helping you. I’m helping Seonghwa. I’ve seen him get cut up over you and this whole friends with benefits thing – which never works out, by the way – and he doesn’t deserve it. I can’t figure you out. Is it malicious? No, I don’t think so. Then, is it just friendship for you? I thought that at first but over time, I’m not so sure. So, what is it?”

               “I…” You trail off, thinking about Seonghwa.

               Your gaze slides away from Wooyoung over to the window showing the slightly busy street. Evening is approaching. Surely, Seonghwa’s date will start soon. He’s smitten with you, Wooyoung had said. Is that possible? If you stop pretending and running for five seconds, what do you feel?

               You think of Seonghwa helping you leave the work party before anyone could tell how drunk you were, the quiet way you felt safe with him from the very start, the shy way he kissed you the first time. You can picture him hunched over his desk at his apartment, putting a Lego kit together or reading a well worn Star Wars book for the millionth time, his fingers holding the book with his glasses perched on the tip of his nose. You can still hear his calm voice comforting you during your panic attack. His silent confidence in how he lives his life and pursues his interests no matter what others think or say about it had subtly changed your own approach to things as well, hadn’t it? That was why you cut ties with your coworkers when you accepted it no longer aligned with the sort of life you wanted. It had been so easy to deny Seonghwa’s impact on you because your life lately was nothing but running from change…but it wiggled in anyway, no matter how hard you tried to deny it.

               “Ah, there it is,” Wooyoung says quietly, “That’s all I needed to know.”

               You swallow hard, looking at him. “You said your business is gaining steady clients, right? It is only going to pick up from here. It’ll be too much for one person. Let me help.”

               “Are you offering yourself a job at my shop?” He asks, sounding amused.

               “I am. I’m good at my job. I’m sure Seonghwa can attest to that. I can help you.”

               “I mean, you’re right in that I can’t run the store by myself anymore. I’m already getting bogged down by the business side of things more than I’d like. And yeah, your story is similar to mine and makes me feel sympathetic. But I couldn’t pay you anything close to what you’re making now.”

               “I know that. I don’t care. I’ll take a pay cut. I hate my apartment. I’m surrounded by things and none of them make me happy. I’ll downsize. I don’t know what I want to do with my life but I know my job isn’t it. I’d be an asset to your business. And if I don’t work out, fire me. Give me ninety days. I’ll prove it.”

               Wooyoung raises an eyebrow, probably wondering what in the world is wrong with someone that can come into a place of business and sell themselves so openly. But it’s the best idea you have – freedom from the office while working for someone who understands what it’s like to make a drastic change.

               “Just think about it, okay? Let me give you my number. You can call or text me with whatever you decide. But I have somewhere I gotta be.”

               As you rattle off your number to Wooyoung, you pull out your wallet to pay for the necklace. But he gives a firm shake of his head when you try to hand him the money.

               “No, keep it,” When you protest, he cuts you off, “I mean it. You were pulled to that necklace. It’s meant for you to have. Here, I’ll help you with the clasp.”

               Wooyoung goes behind you, helping the necklace lay gently around your neck as he clasps it together. It rests against your skin, light as a feather. Your fingertips brush against the charm and you feel a little more settled.

               “Where is the date?” You ask Wooyoung as he circles back in front of you.

               At this Wooyoung lets out a small laugh. “Oh, you remind me of myself. Going to sort everything out in one day?” His gaze softens. “He’s only two blocks away. It’s a café near the fountain. The one in the city square. Has a mermaid logo. Not like the Starbucks one,” He adds hastily, “So, don’t get confused. She’s holding a green pendant in her hand.”

               “Great, thank you so much.” You want to say more but don’t know how to word anything – not your feelings about Seonghwa nor the fact you are grateful that a stranger has taken such time to help you.

               “It’s fine,” Wooyoung says, sensing your feelings, “You should probably get there before his date arrives. Or it’ll get awkward.”

               You nod, heading towards the exit. As your hand goes to the door, Wooyoung softly says your name. You hesitate, looking over your shoulder at him.

               “Whatever you’ve been too afraid to tell Hwa, say it to him now. You know he needs things stated as cleanly as possible.”

               You nod, taking a deep breath and open the door, stepping back outside into the world.

*

               It takes you a little longer than you would have liked to locate the café, mostly because you make an unplanned stop at a bookstore for something important. But finally, across the city square, where the large fountain gleans in the setting sun, you spot a mermaid clutching a green pendant in her hands on a small sign.

               You aren’t sure what you’re going to say to Seonghwa. The entire day is moving at the speed of light with you making choices that have been lingering in your mind for weeks. There is no speech planned, just like you hadn’t exactly planned asking Wooyoung to hire you at his shop.

               But what else is there to lose at this point? Not only have you been miserable in your job and life for so long that it’s hard to remember a time that you weren’t but now you were at risk of losing the one person who has made you happy. Every moment with Seonghwa has given you joy – and you kept running from it.

               You yank on the door to the café, stepping inside, wishing your hands weren’t full with so many shopping bags. Your eyes scan the interior, looking over the crowd of people by the counter, the small groups huddled at the few tables, and then there is Seonghwa, sitting in the back on one of the couches, idly looking at something on his phone. He’s alone.

               Spurned on by the sight of him, you cut a clean line through the café, pushing through so forcibly that a few people give you dirty looks. Seonghwa doesn’t notice you until you’re standing right in front of the couch and when he raises his head, his shock is evident.

               “H-hey,” He blinks, “I didn’t – what are you doing here? I mean, not that you can’t be here. It’s an open café. Anyone can be here. I just wasn’t expecting to see you,” He stammers out.

               Today, he’s wearing khaki slacks and a pastel yellow button up that is covered in tiny sunflowers. Your heart constricts at how comfortable he looks, how you’ve been tricking yourself for weeks that he is just a friend and nothing more.  

               “I know you have your date here. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to crash it. I just need to talk to you.”

               Seonghwa’s eyes widen slightly. “How do you know it’s here?”

               “Wooyoung told me.”

               Now he looks baffled. “Wooyoung told you?”

               You sit next to him, bringing one of the shopping bags forward. “I googled it but I got overwhelmed and I didn’t know what one to buy so I bought all of them.”

               “What?” Seonghwa asks, peering into the bag before laughing, “What is that? Is that every Thrawn book?”

               “I don’t understand the old canon and new canon thing and you said he’s in both canons so I just ended up buying all of them and now I have like…ten or more books about this dude but I thought about what you said. About reading again. So, I thought I could start here and then we could talk about them. Like…a book club.”

               Seonghwa’s smile is like staring at a diamond glittering underwater; it could blind you if looked at for too long but the beauty of it is rooting you to the spot. “Sure, that sounds good,” He looks a little confused, “Although, did you track me down here just to tell me that? Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you’re so excited about anything Star Wars related but you didn’t have to talk to Wooyoung to learn where I was…”

               I am not doing a good job with this, you think, worried that at any moment his date is going to show up and make things even more complicated.

               You put the bag of books next to your feet, take a deep breath and reach for his hands. He looks startled although to your relief he doesn’t pull away. Up this close, you have to fight the urge not to kiss him on the spot. Whatever you’ve been too afraid to tell Hwa, say it to him now.

               “Seonghwa, I need to tell you something and I am really sorry to dump this on you before your date. It’s selfish of me. And I feel as though I’ve been pretty selfish since we started hanging out. I only started talking to you because of the rumor, I gossiped about you before we started sleeping together and I was quiet when people made fun of you.”

               He still looks confused. “I thought we went over this already. I forgive you for that. It’s okay.”

               “I know, I know. You’re a much kinder person than I am. See, that’s the thing, you’re not…you’re not my type at all. Your interests, how you dress, the things you do with your friends for fun…none of that is ever something I have connected with previously. I think that’s why it made it so easy to fool myself that being around you was an escape from my problems and not something more.”

               He’s fallen silent now and has started looking a bit nervous. Your insides feel as if a bunch of tiny crickets are jumping around but you are determined to see this through.

               “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

               There. You said it. Immediately, a weight is lifted off your shoulders. For the first time since meeting Seonghwa, it is as if you can fully breath.

               You pull your hands away from him, grabbing your shopping bags. “I don’t need a reply. Not now. It’s unfair to have said this before your date and I know that. It’s my last selfish act, I’m sorry. But I couldn’t wait any longer.”

               Standing up, you look down at Seonghwa, who has an unreadable expression on his face. There is a smattering of colour on his cheeks and his hands are clasped gently together in his lap. With his lips softly parted and the thick frame of his glasses bright against his skin, he’s never looked more attractive to you then right now.

               “You’re really pretty,” You say without thinking, “It’s distracting. I have to go now. Oh, I think I’m gonna put in my two weeks notice on Monday. Wooyoung might hire me to work at his shop.”

               “What?” Seonghwa says, dazed.

               “Just…contact me when you’re ready to talk. Sorry again. Bye, Seonghwa.”

               You turn around, weaving your way through the crowd, barely noticing when someone almost spills their coffee all over your shirt. You can’t recall a time when you felt this light. You suppose Seonghwa feels like this all the time.

*

               You don’t hear from Seonghwa at all that night but are too emotionally exhausted to be swept up in it. You’re in bed early, and up by nine in the morning. After making coffee, you try to type up your resignation letter to make it sound as polite and respectful as possible – which is difficult, given that it is going to be handed to Sir Dipshit.

               Close to eleven, your mind begins to wander to Seonghwa. You wonder how the date went. Perhaps you misjudged the situation. Maybe your feelings are stronger than his are. Wooyoung had said he was smitten, after all, not in love.

               But even if Seonghwa doesn’t feel the same, you feel better having just said it to him. Seonghwa going on this date is what broke everything open, made you realize that to keep running and hiding from things would no longer help you, only make things worse.

               There is a knock at the door, jolting you out of your thoughts. You scamper off the couch, opening the door quickly to find Seonghwa at your doorstep.

               He’s wearing an oversized black shirt that says Han Shot First which you don’t understand and aren’t even going to ask about at the moment. He’s wearing jeans today which look good on him. Too good, really. You say a silent blessing that he didn’t wear them into the office because you wouldn’t have gotten anything accomplished. There is a frenzied energy radiating off him and his eyes are wide behind his glasses.

               “Seonghwa,” You say nervously.

               “I ran into that old lady in the lobby. From the other night. She gave me such a stink eye that it felt like she was cursing me,” He blurts out, “I don’t think she likes me very much for making out with you in the elevator. May I come in?”

               You move to let him in, closing the door behind you. He has his hands shoved into the back pockets of his jeans, studying your living room for a few seconds.

               “What are you up to?” He asks, ignoring the giant elephant in the room.

               “I was working on my resignation.”

               “Oh, that’s good because I was looking into company policy and apparently you’re not allowed to have any sort of relationship with someone in the same office as you.”

               You walk around Seonghwa to face him. “So, fucking regional managers across the country is okay but not anyone in the local office?”

               “That’s right,” He replies as his cheeks turn a pretty pink, “We would’ve had to keep it a secret if you decided to stay.”

               “Keep what a secret?” You ask coyly, needing to hear him say it.

               Seonghwa takes a small breath before going, “Us being together.”

               “Is that what you want?”

               “Yes,” He says very strongly, “I’ve wanted that – I’ve wanted that for awhile.”

               “That’s why you brought us being friends up in the cafeteria that one day, isn’t it?”

               Seonghwa takes a step towards you, reaching for your hands. You can feel how nervous he is, as if for some reason you would reject him now. “Yes.”

               “I kinda messed that up, didn’t I?”

               “No, you didn’t mess it up. Things are just confusing. Between work and us and…”

               “You’re way too nice to me,” You reply.

               Being this close to him is dizzying. Without denying your feelings for Seonghwa, your body reacts to him even more intensely than before. His own breathing is uneven and he swallows hard.

               “I’m not. You’re just too mean to yourself,” He argues and then goes, “I love you too. I should have said it right away at the café. I was just completely shocked and then you left. Wooyoung told me about you coming into the shop and the conversation you had with him. I understand why you left, your fears about the date. But I’ve known I’ve loved you for a while now.”

               “I’m sorry I stuck my head in the sand,” You reply as your heart races at his confession.

               “Can you please stop apologizing for everything?” Seonghwa goes, bringing one hand to cup your cheek gently, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

               “O-oh, okay,” You mumble shyly and then his lips are on yours.

               The kiss wipes clean all your fears and anxieties, bringing you into the present moment where it is just you and him. Your arms circle around his neck, bringing his body against yours as he leans into the kiss. He is familiar and comfortable. Without the thin veneer of friendship blocking your emotions, the desire is sweeping over you with profound need to be sated.

               “Wait,” Your words are muffled against his lips but he pulls away, looking at you quizzically, “What about the date?”

               “What about it? I was distracted the entire time. I apologized and left early,” He studies your face and then laughs, “Were you worried I slept with them?”

               “Well, I didn’t want to assume…I mean, maybe if you just wanted to…I…” You fall silent, tongue tied, face warm.

               Seonghwa lowers his voice, his hands running down your sides, making you shiver. “I’m too hung up on you to sleep with someone else. I just thought maybe going on a date would help me move past how I felt about you. But it didn’t. I love you too much.”

               The words make your heart skip a beat. This time when he kisses you, you don’t pull away.

*

               It doesn’t take long to end up in your bedroom. As you pull Seonghwa’s shirt off, you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth.

               “I don’t understand your shirt, by the way.”

               “Unbelievable,” Seonghwa replies dryly, “Now that we’re dating, that means you’re going to get a crash course in all thing Star Wars.”

               That’s the last thing on your mind as you trail your fingers down his chest before grabbing the top of his jeans and yanking him against your body. He’s warm and familiar, having been with him enough times now that you’re starting to learn his body like a well worn map. That same desire as the day at the office is beginning to show itself. The only difference is this time you don’t have to question or run from it.

               The kiss breaks so Seonghwa can toss your shirt off, his hands immediately going to grope your tits while bringing his mouth against your neck. You fall back onto the bed, letting yourself enjoy the sensation of his hands on your tits and the way he nibbles your neck.

               “I want to be on top this time,” You declare.

               He pauses for a moment, probably thinking about how large he is and you trying to take his cock. “Are you sure?” When you nod, he continues, “Fine but go slow.”

               “What, afraid I’m gonna hurt myself on your giant dick?” You tease.

               Seonghwa pulls away from you, unzipping his jeans. His face is flush from your comment and you like seeing him flustered. He removes his jeans, leaving just his boxers on as he tugs off your sweatpants and underwear before pulling you towards the edge of the bed.

               “I wanna eat your cunt first,” He says in that hazy voice he only gets when he’s turned on.

               It isn’t like you’re going to say no to such a request given how good it felt the last time he went down on you. Seonghwa nudges your legs apart, his fingers gently spreading your lips open in front of him. You stay propped up, enjoying the sight of him on his knees in between your legs. You like the curve of his neck and his broad shoulders mixed with his slender fingers and slightly flushed cheeks. You like everything about him, really.

               Seonghwa leans forward and flicks the tip of his tongue against your clit without any preamble. Your body shivers in surprise. He brings his tongue downward, slipping past your folds into your hole to taste you. His hands grip your thighs to keep you spread open for him as his eyes close, losing himself in your pussy.

               His tongue swoops back up, across your clit before he starts to flick his tongue across it hard and fast. You realize you forgot to take his glasses off but Seonghwa doesn’t seem to notice nor care. You can feel him pressing a finger into your hole which it takes easily, already soaking wet from the touches he has given. As he finger fucks you, he wraps his lips around your clit and gives it a hard suck. Your hips jolt against his face as you let out a ragged gasp, falling back against the bed. Seonghwa doesn’t stop, slipping another finger inside. You can hear how wet you are, the lewd sounds of your cunt taking his fingers. He switches between sucking on your clit and flicking the tip of his tongue across it.

               As usual, Seonghwa brings your orgasm on hard and fast. Your hand goes to his hair, giving it a sharp tug as your climax begins. You grind your cunt against his face, unable to help yourself as you gush over his fingers, making a mess on his hand.

               He pulls away when your grip lessens, idly running his fingers down your slit. “Forgot to take my glasses off again,” He admits almost bashfully.

               “Did I make a mess on them?”

               “It’s okay,” Seonghwa assures you immediately as he removes them and tosses them onto the bedside table, getting onto the bed, “Open your mouth.”

               You do so and he places his two fingers on your tongue, watching as you wrap your lips around them. For the first time, you let yourself admire how sexy he looks and that he is all yours.

               He seems to be traveling along the same road because he quietly goes, “You look beautiful like this.”

               Gently pulling his fingers out of your mouth, you pull him downwards to kiss you. It’s messy, urgent, and you bite on his bottom lip a little just to hear him groan.

               “Come on, get out of your boxers,” You complain against his lips.

               He pulls away, shifting onto his back, pulling his boxers down to free his cock which smacks against his stomach. You swallow, having second thoughts about trying to sit on this thing. But you’ve taken him multiple times at this point so there’s no way you’re going to stop now.

               “Can I watch you touch yourself?” You ask suddenly.

               Seonghwa looks so shy that for a second you think he might melt into the mattress. “W-what, really?”

               “Yeah,” You shift in front of him, your hands going to his knees, “I want to see how you stroke your big cock.”

               He’s too shy to look at you when he wraps his hand around his dick. You watch quietly for a minute or so at how he plays with himself, taking note of how full his balls are. When Seonghwa seems to relax into the bed a little bit, and not be so shy, you bring your face forward and lick the tip of his cock.

               He grunts in surprise but doesn’t stop touching himself. You gather salvia in your mouth and spit onto his length before brushing his hand away and taking him in your mouth.

               Sucking his cock like you would any other is basically impossible. He fills your mouth up almost immediately, stretching your lips out around his girth. Even so, you still press your tongue against the underside of his shaft, fondling his balls while doing so. At one point, he can’t help himself and bucks his hips upwards which makes you spit up around his cock.

               “S-sorry,” He apologizes immediately as you pull away from him.

               “Don’t be. Actually, I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m very good at blowing you.” Talk about a sentence I never thought I’d say.

               Seonghwa laughs at this which makes you feel warm all over. “Please tell me you’re not also apologizing for how you’re giving a blowjob.”

               “I am,” You say firmly, shifting your weight onto him, “But I’ll improve, promise. I’m just not used to sucking dicks as big as yours.”

               “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

               Seonghwa holds his dick as you position yourself to take it. Your hands go to his abdomen as you carefully sink down on his cock. From your earlier orgasm, combined with spitting up on his dick, it goes in a little more easily than you were expecting.

               “Maybe I’m getting used to it,” You tell him as the tip pushes in, exhaling as the sensation of his warm cock enters your cunt.

               Seonghwa seemingly can’t tear his eyes away from the sight of you sinking down on his length. His breathing has grown hard and his hands are resting gently on your hips to help guide you downward. Each little bit of him you take stretches you out slowly, filling you up with his big dick. It feels amazing – each position always feels different in the best way possible with Seonghwa.

               “Doesn’t hurt?” He asks in a strangled voice.

               “No,” You sigh out as more of him pushes into your cunt, “Feels good. Feels really good.”

               You lean back a little, resting your hands on his knees while you bring your hips down to take more of him. You’re dripping wet, so wet now that your pussy seems to engulf his cock faster than it has before. It doesn’t take nearly as long as the times prior to get him fully inside your cunt and when the base of his cock finally hits your pussy, your head rolls back from the pleasure of being so stuffed.

               “Fuck,” Seonghwa curses quietly, “You look good like this. You’re so fucking tight.”

               Tentatively, you move your hips and Seonghwa inhales sharply. You feel close to bursting, filled with his big cock. You start rocking your hips, bringing your hands forward to lay flat against his stomach. Beginning to bounce on his cock, you can’t even wrap your head around how good it feels to have Seonghwa inside you. One hand goes to your clit, playing with yourself as you slowly take his dick.

               “Can you cum like that?” Seonghwa asks, his voice a thin wire.

               Breathlessly, you reply, “I t-think so.”

               “Then cum like that, I want to watch.”

               Seonghwa doesn’t have to make such a request twice. With his dick buried all the way inside you, and your small bounces driving him against your sweet spot, your finger doesn’t leave your clit. It just feels too fucking good to have him like this. Your eyes flutter closed as your finger swirls around your clit, your hole crammed with Seonghwa’s cock. Whenever your pussy tightens around Seonghwa’s girth, he curses. You can feel him holding back from thrusting upwards, knowing that all he wants to do is fuck you silly with his cock.

               “I like how tight and crammed your cunt looks,” Seonghwa groans as he watches, “Keep playing with your pretty clit until you cum for me.”

               Your legs shake a little from the constant movement of your hips but you’re determined to see your orgasm through. You don’t stop, driving your hips downward to take as much as you can. The pleasure pushes you over the edge and you’re climaxing again.

               You can feel yourself gush across his cock, covering his length in your cum and juices. This makes it even easier to sink down on him and Seonghwa snaps, unable to hold back anymore. He pulls you forward, his hands gripping your ass, your face buried in his neck as he arches his hips.

               You take his cock easily now, the new angle already creating intense pleasure before your current orgasm even settles. He pumps his hips, his pace swift as his cock pulls all the way out of your wet cunt before thrusting back inside. The sounds are obscene – your wet cunt from multiple orgasms combined with his precum makes a lewd noise every time he pushes inside.

               His grip on your ass is hard, his moaning growing louder with each movement. You think about how full his balls were before and shiver at the idea of all that cum filling you.

               Seonghwa curses again, ramming his cock deep in your cunt as he begins to climax. You can feel his hot cum unloading in your cunt, squirting against your walls as your pussy milks his girth. Your cunt is so full with his cock that you know his cum is being shoved out with each movement of his hips. You hold onto Seonghwa as he climaxes, taking pleasure in how good he sounds and how he is entirely yours now.

               After he carefully pulls out, he nudges your legs apart so he can see your pussy leaking out his cum. You tentatively bring a finger down, probing your tender folds and feeling his sticky load.

               “Push it back inside you,” He pants and when you do so, he makes a small noise of approval, “I like it better with my load in your hole. Your pussy looks good when it’s all fucked out by me.”

               You love when nerdy Seonghwa turns into someone talking dirty like that. But you’re exhausted now, and your legs are sore from the position. Shifting carefully off him, you collapse onto the bed and snuggle up to him.

               “Nap time,” You mumble.

               Seonghwa kisses the top of your head, not mentioning it’s only a bit past noon. Your phone suddenly goes off. Normally, you’d ignore it but you’re still waiting to hear from Wooyoung.

               As you pull away from him, Seonghwa makes a small noise of protest. You reach over him to grab your phone off the bedside table and unlock it, reading the message.

               “Who is it?” He asks sleepily.

               “It’s Wooyoung,” You tell him, which makes him crack open an eye, “He said he’s gonna hire me.”

               “You two working together…that’s going to be interesting.”

               “In a bad way?”

               “No, in a…most likely powerful and probably scary way.”

               You playfully hit his shoulder, dropping the phone back onto the table and bringing your lips against Seonghwa’s for a kiss. You melt against him, not afraid of the cuddling, or the intensity of the kissing. Not anymore, not with him.

               “Tell me it again,” You say, your chest warm from happiness.

               “Well, I think the crash course in Star Wars will begin with –”

               “You know damn well that is not what I meant!” You exclaim although you’re laughing.

               And Seonghwa is laughing too as he pulls you in for another kiss. “I love you.”

               “I love you too.”

               You rest your head on his chest, marveling at the future of possibilities now that all the changes you were once so afraid of are finally taking place.

the end.

Tags: @thewonderofkpop - @obligatoryidolblog - @yunhofingers - @foggyinternetchaos - @multiland - @whatudowhennooneseesyou - @jess-1404 - @just-here-to-read-01 - @likexaxdaydream - @senpai-of-doom - @lilhwahwa - @btsreader12 - @talkbykhalid - @pyeonghongrie-main - @inneratinyrebel - @8tinytings - @cherrypandora - @almondmilkeu - @kitten4sannie - @leo-seonghwa - @hwalysm - @revehosh - @seongua - @mulletjoonsupremacy - @byungaji - @singularity777 - @hwa-whiskers - @luxvatz - @onlyupark - @seonghwasstar - @eyesonlyformingi - @rxnexxi - @rosealie05 - @lelaleleb - @right-here-in-these-arms - @moonsangie - @yeonjuns-sock - @pink-hwaberry - @kyukyustar - @fudgeflyssworld - @bubblepoppsworld - @ninalove323 - @darkdayelixer - @mixling-blog - @ohgeezitsbreadgenie - @innsomniacshinestar - @tmtxtf-library - @sookacc - @downbadreading - @tournesol155 - @xirenex - some of yall i couldn’t tag and last time i tried to inform these accounts that i posted, i got shadowbanned. i will try to contact you but no guarantees. if you requested to be added to my tag list for this fic, you are now done receiving notifs from me. please let me know if you want to be added to my general tag list, thanks.

[amourdivine]

PAC ઉ YOUR CURRENT ENERGY!

Hello, lovelies, I know it has been some time, but I missed you. I hope everyone is doing ok these days. Let's look into your energy today, shall we?

paid readings are closed as of february 2024

none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise!

pick a card masterlist & information

the piles.

1 → 2 3 → 4

how to choose your pile.  take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

disclaimer. this is a general reading! tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.

PILE ONE

queen of cups ✧ death ✧ ace of swords ✧ the high priestess

Before I shuffled, I couldn’t help but feel lonely, like there’s this pang in my chest whenever I think of life and the current state of the world. It reminds me of the term “loneliness epidemic” and how so many of us are struggling to make friends or maintain pre-existing relationships. I think you are beginning to find emotional fulfillment in different things than you did before. Nothing may have worked out - at least, the things that used to work out aren’t working out anymore. There’s this voice inside of you begging for a new beginning, for clarity, and it’s slow but surely coming towards you. Where your energy is will wildly depend on how much you’ve listened to that inner voice already, but it’s a calling towards something new, regardless.

I think you’re scared because you haven’t done this before. You may be discovering things about yourself as well that are quite surprising, like new hobbies or gifts. It’s refreshing too, both painful and refreshing. Sort of like the concept of growing pains - growing up is not easy and there are no guidelines, no roadmaps. Often, we discover things through trial and error. 

You may have withdrawn your energy as well, especially from old social circles. I get the feeling you were unsatisfied. Things felt stuck. They may still feel stuck, boring and completely lost in the routine of it all. It’s okay. You’re growing. Bones can hurt when they heal and grow. The same goes for you. I see snakes here, shedding their old skin. In your case, I don’t think you have found a “new skin” already, but you’ve shed your old life either way. It’s okay to want more, pile one. It’s okay to change. We’re ever-evolving. What suited you then won’t suit you now, that’s how life goes, with the changing of the seasons. It’s beautiful to witness - and when you look back you’ll realize just how much we can shift, how many places we’ll go and how much more there is to life than our old selves.

It’s okay to let it go. You’ll be okay even if the waters are muddy for now.

This is a very spiritual pile! Make sure to cater to your emotional and spiritual needs, taking care of your physical body and being around soothing, comforting or quiet places while you tend to this new self.

channeled messages & songs: white snakes, ring, scarf, life path 8 (or 8 in general), silver jewelry, bodies of water, sleeping, bed-rotting, kundalini awakening, modern loneliness by lauv, scorpio, pisces and cancer, hermitting, social batteries, introvert, epiphany, books, the bible, prophetic dreams, chocolate, ego death. 

PILE TWO

six of cups ✧ the hanged man ✧ eight of cups ✧ seven of wands

You are returning to yourself, it feels like a sort of homecoming. Fighting for your peace while, at the same time, learning to accept what you can’t control. You have walked away from old beliefs, from restraints of the past and renewing your faith in yourself. Even the picture you’ve chosen is a close-up of someone’s outfit walking away. You’ve found dignity and you’re not willing to sacrifice it anymore. Maybe you’ve left a situationship or relationship that was draining you, molding you into someone you weren’t. Props to you for that. It’s not easy and I know it.

Your guides are proud - they’re very serious and regal. They think you deserve more than what you’ve had. Not in a self-serving way, don’t mistake it for self-indulgence, but in a human, dignified way. They see you as royalty, too. They don’t want you to settle for breadcrumbs in life anymore. No matter how difficult it’s been, they don’t want you to stop believing that things can get better.

For most of you, this is a time when you’re shifting into a more peaceful but assertive phase. You’re taking charge of your joy, your future and your responsibilities without clinging to self-blame or guilt. Maybe it took you a long time. I heard “recovery” in my mind and this has possibly something to do with a specific illness or disease you’ve battled for so long. There’s a huge feeling of relief, of taking a long breath after a tiring day. 

It’s okay, you’re home now, you’re safe now. You can relax. You’ve got this, pile two.

channeled messages & songs: therapy, journaling, barbie or baby doll, sage green, green tea, pastels, tiktok, doomscrolling, healing, “i’m not the girl i used to be”, rainbow by kacey musgraves, self-acceptance, shadow work, “i’m still standing”, camping, nature, libra and taurus.

PILE THREE

three of swords ✧ the hermit ✧ the star ✧ queen of pentacles

Your heart is broken. Someone or something has left you to lick your wounds and tend to the bruises they gave you. You’re in pain, so much pain that it may be unbearable to wake up everyday. You’re questioning your worth, your self-esteem has crumbled.. and you don’t want anyone to find you, to see you in such a vulnerable state. All you do now is hope for better days, pray a rainbow comes after the storm because the current is heavy and has taken you astray.

Unfortunately life can’t always be what we want or expect. Allow room for these heavy emotions - this too shall pass. It’s okay to be disappointed, to feel betrayed and hurt by what happened. If the ground was pulled beneath your feet, was it ever really that solid to begin with?

This is the aftermath of something painful. And that’s okay. You can’t force yourself to feel good. In the meantime, you can take it slow, nurture the hope for better days and hold onto it. I know we tend to view hope as mostly something negative and passive, but you can take baby steps towards emotional fulfillment. The Queen of Pentacles suggests you take it slow - there is no rush to healing, nothing to be accomplished, there is nothing for you to prove. You’re human, and therefore, worthy of compassion, patience and healing. Remember the Wheel of Fortune: what comes up must go down, what goes down must go up eventually. You’ll feel better, pile three. I promise.

channeled messages & songs: taking a walk, flower pot, cacti, heartbreak anthems, olivia rodrigo, punk rock, “i’m angry all the time”, hurts like hell by fleurie, capricorn, saturn, personal year 5, backstabbing, depression, navy blue by muna.

PILE FOUR

the hanged man ✧ the hierophant ✧ six of pentacles ✧ the star

You’re learning and teaching. Giving and receiving. Letting the scales balance themselves out, remembering that balance is not always fifty fifty. All the piles have had somewhat similar themes, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you have felt drawn to either pile one or two, but this one feels like a continuation of it, so it could be that you’re transitioning from one to another. Naturally, please take only what resonates for you!

You may have found a new job, a stable relationship, a good circle of friends. You know, despite the positive feeling of these cards, I can’t help but wonder if you’re waiting for it all to crumble again, feeling like the shadows of your past are going to haunt you forever. I keep wondering if you’re okay, I keep wanting to ask you. You’re scared, you’ve got your guard up. You can’t really trust it will last - and while it’s true that it all comes and goes, you can trust nothing is ever wasted. 

Let your guard down. Not everyone has your worst interests in their heart. Maybe self-isolation suited you before, didn’t it? You weren’t used to being loved, you still aren’t. But you still deserve it. Sometimes it’s easier to endure the hard things because they’re all we expect. It’s difficult to take in the good things, isn’t it? To feel worthy of them. To realize there is more to life than survival. You’re finally living now - and that’s a good thing. Uncertainty is scary, but in a way, so is the familiarity of hurt, of unrequited lovers and callous friendships. Are you ready to be loved, pile four? You can ask for the good times as much as you want, but when it is here, you have to remember to enjoy it, to not be on the lookout for the bad things so much.

We’re rarely in control. I know it’s difficult, but that’s often a good thing. Not being in control means you can worry less. You can fret less. You can take it day by day, knowing that the outside forces will do what they must and we’re all silly little souls on a giant floating rock.

PS: You’re doing well, I promise.

channeled messages & songs: self-sabotage, nightmares, attachment issues, bulletproof by la roux, bones, candles by daughter, earrings, 2024 planner, five year plan, entj, istj, quiet singing, “the pen is mightier than the sword”, studying, sweater weather, stress cleaning, autumn girl.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

[lorei-writes]

HC: Awfully Similar

Chevalier, Clavis, Leon, Jin, Silvio ~1k words Premise: Little (awful) ways in which his child is (awfully) similar to him.

Chevalier

His daughter does not reply to questions when the answer is positive. Additionally, ever since she has learnt to speak in full sentences, she took a liking to the words "indeed" and "drivel".

"Say 'aaah'."

"Drivel, papa."

"Your throat is sore. You have to drink your syrup."

"Indeed. Still, drivel, papa."

His son is dreadfully difficult in the mornings. It's so bad that only Chevalier is (generally) able to wake him up. (That being said, waking Chevalier up is still a herculean task, the difficulty level of which has only been increasing with each child. Uncle Clavis is devastated whenever he has to look after his nephews and nieces... or makes the mistake of scheduling anything before noon.)

None of them like breakfasts -- the only way to get them to eat it is having either of their parents to prepare it. No matter how hard Chevalier tries, they declare to like their mother's cooking better... possibly to mess with him a little bit. (Chevalier? Jealous? Over such trivial matter? What drivel.)

His youngest son has inherited his intimidating aura. Overall, he looks just like Chevalier when he was little. However, much like Clavis, he's also a ball of chaotic laughter. The juxtaposition gives his uncles whiplash every single time.

Clavis

His son is awfully dramatic.

"Father! Guard! I am being taken from this world, the dawn lights shall welcome me no more!" <- he has fallen and scratched his knee while on a walk with Cyran

"Mother loves me not, papa."

"Oh? Why should you say that?"

"Why? Isn't it obvious? She's cooked me brussels sprouts."

His son is also vert studious when it comes to learning. His primary interests lie in physics and... literature, which explains some of his peculiar claims. (Luckily, Clavis knows how to manage a library.)

Clavis' younger son enjoys pranks and experiments, or better yet, doing both at once. Especially if the target is to be his sister (the youngest sibling). He's also taken to picking locks -- preparing ones he cannot open is something of an evolutionary race between him and his father. Ah, those alluring cabinets with chemical reagents! (Clavis has taught him how to pick locks. He caused this.)

That being said, the little lady of the bunch has a frightful foresight (much like her uncle). The pranks never succeed. (Were she not a near-perfect copy of Clavis appearance-wise, they'd likely wonder whether she was truly his daughter.)

Leon

All of his children. All of them. Sneak. Out. And to make matters worse? They split up, so if Leon wants them back at the palace, he needs to independently track down at least three people (the youngest ones usually do not leave their older siblings). Sometimes they also bring friends along! (Clavis' children are the friends.)

Another growing issue-non-issues is that they have made friends in town and now sneak them into the palace. Which, admittedly, is not something Leon is particularly bothered by (assuming he is distracted from the very real possibility of his children being kidnapped, as now everybody knows they are royalty -- nickname change from "Black" to "White" may occur in the next few years). However, the same cannot be said about the visiting nobles.

No matter how much food there was to begin with, none is ever left on the table. His son's have... healthy... appetites.

Both of his daughters are avid readers. However, they tend to get tired easily when reading... so they alternate. They usually pick a book together and read it aloud. (2 pages - change of the reader - 2 pages - change - ... )

Jin

Jin has two children, a daughter and a son. His daughter is an effortless charmer -- pretty like a doll, with infectious laughter and jokes that somehow caught on even when all she could say was "gugu gaga". (...At least Jin laughed?) Meanwhile, his son gets into situations. Shirtless.

That being said, it isn't necessarily wrong for his son to get involved. After all, he always does it to protect one of his cousins or his sister (...or to cover for them, but well, solidarity is appreciated). But why shirtless?

They both fight over lollipops. All. The. Time. And when they don't fight over them, they cry due to having none. They are not going to have unlimited teeth in their life! Good dental habits need to be established early on! (Jin also cries in lollipop rehab. Solidarity!)

Jin may have only two children, but their little family also includes four dogs. His children have an interesting affinity towards finding animals in need of help, both wild and domesticated. (You could say that Jin got roped into running the first -- unofficial -- animal shelter & rescue in the entirety of Rhodolite. He's managed to rehome the majority of the animals brought in... save for those four dogs. He just couldn't say "no" after his children nursed them back to health. He was and still is proud of them for doing that.)

Silvio

His daughter (3 years old) tries to open everything with a kick first. And by everything I mean everything -- a book? Kick! Doll house? Kick! Cabinet door? Kick! Balcony door? First she walks into it and then she kicks.

Silvio's at a loss there. He can't exactly have her wear steal cap boots. (Or... can he?)

To make matters worse, Silvio has made the mistake of taking his older daughter to the docks. She was interested in ships and his work! He wanted to show her! He really had good intentions!

And now she curses like a six years old sailor. Which is to say, poorly and fairly inaccurately, but in large quantities. And she sure is teaching this to her younger sister.

Their favourite game to play is called "Jingle-Jangle", which is a cute term for breaking into their father's closet and turning themselves into an ornate human orchestra. They put on all of Silvio's jewellery and then run through the palace, every so often losing a ring or a necklace, or perhaps both. It creates a convenient trail for Carlo (or Silvo, or Emma -- whoever is first at the scene) to follow... Provided that nobody takes it first. ("Ha?! Papa is so rich he could buy you anything!" were Silvio's famous last words.)

You've seen a typo? Let me know!

Tag List: @lancelotscloak @violettduchess @pathogenic @fang-and-feather @tele86 @rinaririr @keithsandwich @cheese-ception @bis-enti @claviscollections @queengiuliettafirstlady @sh0jun @leonscape

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[prettyrealm]

how do the ive members see wonyoung?

this reading is a paid commision, thank you so much for trusting in me! <3 celebrity commissions • personal commissions

an yujin - she thinks wonyoung is extremely professional and a great idol, she admires that she will try in all aspects of the job (she’s always on “idol-mode”) but she thinks that wonyoung wants to be the it girl, is proud of it, and doesn’t plan on giving that spot up. wonyoung is on yujin’s mind all the time because of this, and I think the reason she sees so many good qualities in wonyoung is because she wants to be more like her. she definitely feels as if she lives in wonyoung’s shadow. she thinks wonyoung is highly attractive.

gaeul - she doesn’t really view wonyoung as a real person. she thinks she’s very distant and that she doesn’t really hang out with the ive members unless she has to (so maybe she’s the first to leave dance practices, or skips out on hanging out with members after work). she thinks wonyoung is really good at being on idol-mode as well. she sees it as not who she really is, not that she thinks she’s a snake or something either, rather it’s more like “no one could really be this way”,’ it’s like she feels she doesn’t and will never know the real wonyoung (as wonyoung doesn’t really open up even behind the scenes). a part of her is even curious to see if wonyoung will ever “break character” one day. she thinks wonyoung is very beautiful.

rei - she thinks wonyoung super attractive, she is actually attracted TO wonyoung (didn’t ask if she acted on it or plans to btw, this is just how she feels). she thinks wonyoung is elite at her job, very beautiful and able to pull everything off, it’s likely that she thinks wonyoung is the best idol in the group. she thinks wonyoung is the ultimate woman. she thinks wonyoung’s kindness is real, she thinks you wouldn’t be able to maintain that type of personality/aura for so long if it wasn’t genuine (she seems to also have the tendency of glossing over possible negative traits or behaviors to interpret them as more positive). she thinks she rarely has a bad day with wonyoung and she can even get butterflies when they’re together. she has a lot of trust in wonyoung and likes her to the point where if wonyoung was ever super mean to her (or betrayed her in some way) she would actually feel heartbroken. she often feels sorry for wonyoung and wishes she could make things easier for her, she sees wonyoung as someone who often has hard times.

liz - she thinks wonyoung is very professional - again, a really good idol. she sees her as a perfectionist and that she’s confident but not arrogant (humble enough that she’s always trying to improve herself and isn’t the type to think she knows everything). she thinks wonyoung’s constant striving for perfection has very harmful consequences though (physically and mentally). she thinks wonyoung is distant and on idol-mode 99.9% of the time so what she sees often isn’t the real wonyoung, but she assumes this is just her being professional rather than fake. she genuinely likes wonyoung and would love to be closer to her and hang out with her more because she thinks she could be a good friend to her, but wonyoung is too distant and simply won’t let that happen.

leeseo - she wants to be wonyoung, there’s a chance that she was even wonyoung’s fan before meeting her. she tries to copy everything wonyoung does, even with how wonyoung acts behind the scenes, she finds herself wanting to be like that (whether she can pull it off or not). this makes her jealous though, she finds herself jealous of how willing people are to help wonyoung because of how loved she is. she understands wonyoung is on “idol-mode” often and this makes her more jealous because she’s like, “yeah i want to be like this too, but I can’t believe everyone is so nice to you when you aren’t even being real!”. i think a part of her even hopes for wonyoung to “crack” and for people to realize she’s not perfect, but overall she basically sees wonyoung as the luckiest girl in the world. she does think wonyoung has a lot of pressure on her though.

[otrtbs]

Okay Y'all

It has come to my attention that someone is selling copies of Art Heist, Baby! on Etsy this evening. If you've been here for a little while then you'll remember something similar happening to me on Amazon. This seller on Etsy is also selling copies of several other fanfics. Once again, this is not me, I do not condone this, I didn't give my consent for this, and I am frustrated beyond belief.

I am taking measures to contact the seller and to get the Etsy listing taken down. (feeling super disheartened abt the people who have this fic in their basket rn icl. DO NOT pay (esp this ungodly amount) for fanfics you can read for free online. and don't profit off of fanfiction.)

I do feel like every time something like this happens, I run to tumblr, make a post, and make something like this everyone else's problem. And I want to apologize for that and say that this is in no way y'alls issue (unless you are the one selling fanfiction and/or buying it). It is my fanfic, my issue, and I am handling it (though, I always appreciate each and every single one of you going out of your way to help more than you could possibly know). However, I am making this post to let everyone know that

I am no longer allowing people to make physical copies of my fanfiction.

People have used my acceptance of hand binding my fic for personal use and abused it to sell my fic and mass-produce it. Not cool. So I would like to say I am no longer allowing physical copies of my fics to be made. I don't know if that will fix or change anything and I am extremely doubtful that the people who are the issue will even listen to or care about what I wish since they've already disregarded that but I really don't know what else to do at the moment. I am hoping this issue will get resolved shortly! As always, Art Heist, Baby! is available to read online for free on ao3! (how cool is that?) Thanks for reading and hearing me out. Sorry again about another post like this but it's always fucking something with this fandom and I just don't ever know what else to do.

[base0h]

Sorry if I bother you or send you something a bit suck but I wanted to know if it was possible to you to do a hcs (or other forma, it doesn’t matter) with shanks and mihawk with a s/o who can copying everything (Haki, Mouvement, Physic, Devil power fruit, Everything) thanks to a rare Devil fruit..? Than you if you make it and sorry if it’s not corespondent to your blog or rules. 🐙

a/n - watch shanks fall in love with himself 💀 I added Law bec why not 💜

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, s/o has copy copy no mi (copy fruit)

- At first, he thought this was some twisted nightmare where he met himself… “Oh god. It’s me.” He was so disgusted 😭 he was also so embarrassed whenever you copied his abilities, hearing you say “room” and “shambles” made him reconsider what he named his techniques. 💀

- “Room…” -law “SHAMBLES!” -you

- “excuse me y/n. It’s my attack.” Man was offended, you literally interrupted him lmfao 😂 he was all like: bitch don’t take away my spotlight it’s the only thing I have

- “But it’s cool when I get to say it!” He also hates the way his voice sounds now because of this. Overall, he’s very embarrassed of himself, so as a result, you do not use your ability around him much. BUT- he does appreciate it when the marines start targeting you instead of him 🤭

- “LAW. HELP!”

- “Huh? I’m not Law wdym?”

- “YOU EMO MOTHERFU- I WILL THROW AWAY YOUR GERMA 66 FIGURES.”

- “NO-!”

- (ahem, I will calm down)

- enjoys it but also REALLY hates it at the same time. Perona gets you two confused all the time, she’ll ask you where Mihawk’s wallet is and you have to remind her of your abilities. “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHEN YOU BOTH LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME?!”

- “Scars on the back are a swordsman’s shame!” You said, holding Mihawk’s sword in front of a pirate who had tried to take over the island. Your physique and features were perfect, an amazing copy of Dracule Mihawk himself

- “Y/n, I do not say that. The young roronoa says that. If you do something, get it right.” He said, sipping his wine while reading a newspaper under his umbrella. You glared at the man, turning back into your normal self before shoving the pirate off the island with ease

- “Can you at least admit that I am literally a perfect copy of you-?”

- “No, because you’re not.”

- “Why are you so difficult?”

- “Why are you so talented in things that do not matter?”

- “…You think I’m talented? 😖🥹”

- shanks absolutely adores the fact that yo have this ability. It makes for amazing party tricks! Turn into Uta and sing a beautiful song? Easy. Turn into Rayleigh so you can scold him? Hell yeah.

- you turned into him one day, and he was impressed. With himself 💀 “Damn- I look good!” -_- You had enough of him looking at you and complimenting HIS looks. So you turned into Rayleigh, and that my friend, is how you get your red haired man to shut the fuck up.

- “Shanks, do the dishes before I punch you.”

- “Yes sir.”

- man is deathly afraid of Rayleigh’s punch- 🤪 so everytime he starts fo be rude in any way, you turn into Rayleigh, it always works! Except turning into the dark king isn’t exactly great for camouflage against marines.

- they ended up seeing you and chasing you around since you looked like Rayleigh. “I’m not Rayleigh! I’m y/n l/n of the red haired pirates!” They stopped in their tracks, “Y/N L/N! THE LEGENDARY PIRATE?! GET THEM!” That plan of yours severely backfired, they ended up calling reinforcements.

- “Rayleigh you need some help down there?” Shanks asked with the literal most smug grin on his face. You got the best idea, while the marines were confused, you turned into a random soldier to blend in. They then caught sight of shanks and started going after him instead. Man did not think to argue with you ever again.

- “Baby I’m sorry 😭 please don’t ignore me I need love.”

don’t give him hugs

a/n - I loved this idea sm 🤭

[ukiyowi]

Mini PAC III

Notes: Please check out the Masterlist for more! Reblogging and paid readings help a lot! Pls DM me if you want one!

Messages from your higher self (repost)

Pile 1

"Whenever you make a decision, you know how it will end don't you? You have all the conclusions already laid out about every situation you've ever been in, has that ever helped? Things come to an end but would you want things to go another way? I hope not, because otherwise you wouldn't be who you are today"

Pile 1, I feel like you're regretting something, the end of a chapter maybe one that was very important, maybe you're going to college next year or you're starting a new job, or maybe you're moving houses, either way your higher self-assures you that whatever you do, don't move forward with regret in your heart.

For some of you there may have been a romantic relationship that ended and the weight of that break-up is still heavy on your mind, manifesting itself physically, draining your energy, exhausting you. Your higher self is telling you to cherish the times andmemories you had with that person, people change and so do circumstances but thosememories won't.

Pile 2

"Playing the devil's advocate won't get you, his throne. You need to be more mindful of what you say. Have you been getting frequent headaches lately? Clear your surroundings and meditate it should help, also please drink water. You shine so bright then why do you fear the dark? It won't harm you if you accept it."

Have you been feeling simultaneously distressed yet exceedingly happy lately pile 2? It happens, your higher self is telling you that you're being pulled in two directions so choose the one that makes you exceedingly happy and unsuccess will follow. You already have everything you need, you *are* everything you need.

All the good things that you dream about and run after are right there all you need to do is open your eyes and look. Your higher self is encouraging you to be more comfortable in your own company, you don't need people around you constantly to validate you, you don't lneed external validation.

Pile 3

"The world isn't yours to hold nor is it yours to heal. Start asking for more and you shall receive it, especially when it comes to clarity. You can't be everyone's number 1 and that's okay, everyone has their own match, just because you're not first doesn't make you any less valuable as a person, don't let it affect your self-worth. Pretending to love someone won't make you love them, fake it till you make it doesn't apply here."

Oof pile 3 so many messages coming through here. I also got a song for you, "Beautiful Feeling" by Day6. I'm getting a lot of love messages for this pile, your higher self similarly to pile 2 encourages you to focus more on yourself, whilst focusing on platonic relationships around you. Nothing will ever satisfy you if you look through a lens of despair at everything. Even if 3 of your cups have fallen, you still have two left. Your higher self is telling you to completely feel your feelings, negative ones too but not to wallow because that won't have a positive impact.

Don't try to copy other people because everyone's unique, you're your own person and people appreciate and adore you for that. Your higher self also gives a message regarding blue butterflies and how if or when you see them, you should remember that they are right by your side. October may be an important month for you as well.

[thezombieprostitute]

'Tis the Season, Sir

A/N: Written for Vee's Holly Jolly Challenge (@sstan-hoe). Reader is implied fem (Ms. Y/N). No physical descriptors used.

Prompts - Steve Rogers - CEO AU

Summary: CEO Steve Rogers is a real grinch and gets upset when he keeps noticing your seasonal attire that is technically within dress code regulations.

"Y/N. My office," Steve barked at you as he walked by your desk. You follow without hesitation, bringing your notepad and pen for the notes you undoubtedly were about to take.

You sit in the chair across from his desk but he stands at the windows of his office.

"Ms. Y/L/N," he starts, "are you aware of the dress code policy for this office?"

"Yes, Mr. Rogers. I went through them rather recently."

"Is that so," he asked, turning towards you like a predator. "Then why are you dressed like you are?"

You shake your head, "’Tis the season, sir. I made sure to go through the updated handbook just to make sure I was still compliant with company policy."

Steve pulls out a physical copy of the handbook. You start at the sound of him slamming it on his desk, "then show me where it says you can wear that stupid holiday jewelry."

While you didn’t have the exact policy numbers memorized, you knew how to find them. You got to the pages on corporate dress code and read aloud, “employee personal effects should be minimal and not detract from the professional appearance expected of them. I’ve been wearing this jewelry for weeks and you only just now noticed. No one else has said anything or acted differently around me so clearly they’re minimal enough.”

“Weeks? I know you haven’t been wearing that jewelry for weeks,” Steve complained. “You are lying right to my face.”

“How do you know I haven’t been wearing this set,” you asked, eyebrow raised.

Steve sees the trap you’ve set and attempts to sidestep, “I would’ve noticed that obnoxious holiday stuff before.”

“And yet you didn’t,” you assert. “Not just you, but others in the office. Even clients haven’t commented because I made sure to only wear things that would gently accent, not stand out. Face it, Mr. Rogers, if you had a case against me, I’d be meeting with HR. Not you!”

Steve sits down grumbling something about hating the holidays. You don’t pounce on his words, you know how these games work. The less you say, the less he has to use against you. He dismisses you with a growl and you quickly return to your desk.

As the holiday gets closer you’re more aware than ever of Steve’s eyes on you. Just about all the other women in the office (and some of the men) were quite jealous of the attention you were getting. You were tempted to tell them the secret but didn’t want to risk getting someone fired based on your bad advice. For all you knew, someone would get in trouble for actually breaking the dress code and blame you for it. That could be grounds for you to be fired as well and you know you have to be extra careful.

You find yourself working later than usual most days. With an upcoming holiday a lot of people are planning to be out of the office so a lot of projects need to be worked on if not outright finished. You straddle the fine line between helping your coworkers and not doing their work for them, mostly handling data entry stuff that’s time intensive drudgery. You get to pick up extra hours and catch up on your podcasts while they get time to prepare for family get-togethers and buying gifts. 

It’s definitely after hours on the day before Christmas Eve. You stretch away from your computer and are surprised when your hands hit someone. It’s Steve, and he does not look happy. You take off your headphones and hear him snarl, “my office. Now.” You suppress the urge to roll your eyes and grab a pen and paper before following him. 

When you sit down in his office sits across from you and asks, “why are you doing everyone else’s work?”

“I’m only doing the data entry type of work that takes time, not brains,” you reply as calmly as you can. “I’ve made sure that everyone I help knows that I’m just doing the little things. They still have to do all of their primary work functions, the things that require thought, tact, personal touches and know-how. Everything was manager approved.”

“And why are you doing this?” With how tight his jaw is, you can tell he’s eager to unleash his anger. You have to handle this delicately.

“Primarily to prevent mistakes and lapses in timelines due to worker stress and fatigue.”

He blinks a few times, clearly not expecting your answer. He opens and shuts his mouth a few times as he tries to think of a response. Finally he’s able to ask, “are they so overworked?”

“No, sir,” you’re quick to reply. “It’s mainly a holiday thing. The work-life balance is a lot harder for many people to maintain this time of year. Whether it’s buying gifts, cooking, baking, visiting or even having to attend all the kids' plays and events, the holidays just make it difficult to find the balance. I help people in my department because I understand that. The overtime doesn’t hurt either. I’ve got loans to pay.”

His brows furrow, his confusion growing, “I would’ve thought you had plenty of holiday things to attend to yourself.”

“I actually don’t do much for the holidays.”

“But…your jewelry?”

“I think the jewelry looks pretty and I don’t get to wear it much because it’s Christmas themed. Doesn’t work well at other times of the year.”

“Ms. Y/L/N you flummox me.” 

“Why? Just because I don’t celebrate doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the aesthetics. My hours have me walking to the bus when it’s dark out. All those pretty lights people hang? That the city hangs? They’re lovely! They make the commute, the longer nights, so much more bearable. Yeah, it’s cold and snowy, but the decorations, the looks of wonder on kids’ faces? Warm me right up. It’s a nice light in the growing darkness of the season.”

Steve doesn’t respond, seemingly lost in thought.

“If there’s nothing else, Mr. Rogers,” you say, standing up, “I’m going to go ahead and get back to work.” 

He dismisses you with a wave.

It's the day after Christmas and the office open, though you're probably the only person actually in the building. You genuinely enjoy the quiet of everyone being out the week between Christmas and New Year's. You don't hate the people at your office, but there's just something special about working without having to worry about someone wanting to talk to you.

Well, normally you wouldn't have to worry about it. You're startled out of your thoughts by Steve knocking on the wall of your cubicle.

"I want to apologize," he states. "You were right about your jewelry, earlier. It is well within the dress code guidelines. I hate the holidays and I took it out on you and I'm sorry for that."

"Apology accepted, sir," you smile back at him.

"Just that easy?"

"Well, 'tis the season, sir."

Steve smiles at that, "I was definitely expecting more of a smug response or that I would have to earn the acceptance of my apology. I even got you a gift to apologize."

"I'll accept the gift as well," you smile up at him.

He chuckles and hands you a small jewelry box. You open it and are delighted to see a pair beautiful, colorful pair of seasonal earrings. You quickly put them on and thank him for the gift.

He smirks and responds, "'tis the season."

[sh4wty18]

Hi, i was just wondering if you could maybe do a carrington x reader? I rarely see any and it would be nice to get to read one from a good writer. Doesn’t matter what it’s about. Thank you >333

since i’m taking a break i probably won’t be writing a one shot for this request but i still wanted go give you something <3

---

dating carrington hcs!

purple = reader blue = carrington

tw: nothing here is an accurate representation of carrington in real life! this is all fictional and for fun only!!

★ despite his silly online persona, i actually feel like carrington would be the sweetest bf ever

★ for example he would totally buy you whatever you want, whenever you want it. even if you aren’t a person to ask for material things often, if you even SLIGHTLY express interest in something, he’s buying it for you.

*after giving you a hundred dollars worth of merch for an artist you mentioned liking once* “do you like it baby?! i remember you saying you liked them so i decided to get you a little merch!! if you don’t like something we can return it and exchange it for something else, i just wanted to surprise you!!!” “uh… yeah! (you don’t even remember saying you liked the artist) thanks baby😀”

★ he asks you to move in like… two months into dating. what can he say? he falls FAST!

★ you have to remind him that the relationship is still new, and maybe you can move in together after you hit the one year mark :’) he is sad but understanding

★ he writes songs about you all the time

★ he wants you to be in his tiktoks so badly he’ll beg you to join no matter how cringey they are

★ i feel like he would take the time to research your interests. so say you like reading, he would definitely buy copies of your fav books and read them just so you would have more to talk about

★ becomes your free personal trainer :D

“THREE MORE REPS BABY YOU GOT THIS!! CMON BABE!!!!!” *and then after you finish the workout* “YESSSS THATS MY SUPER STRONG GIRLFRIEND”

★ the most Physically Affectionate™️ person you’ve ever met. he will be attached to you at all times. like literally the man will have his hand in your pocket, finger through the belt loop, arm around your shoulder, anything to make sure he’s touching you 24/7

★ you guys hit the penjamin on stream together and act silly and it’s always a fun time for you two AND the viewers lol

★ fake dating trope irl bc he likes to prank his fans and you’re just along for the ride

*while on stream* “guys were not dating i swear” *kisses you on the mouth*

★ accidentally says “i love you” like a month into the relationship (you say it back because it’s hard not to love him immediately)

*laughing at a joke you made* “see, this is why i love you! uh i mean um—” “don’t worry car, i love you too :)”

[thecreativecorner33]

By Your Side

A/N: Well I bet y'all didn't expect this. Remember me? I'm the girl who wrote "Taste of Heaven," and AM x reader, on her main account. This is a sequel to that!!! Though you don't have to read the other one to understand this one. I was listening to this specific cover of "By Your Side" from Omori while writing this, you just go to 0:37. It's so fun, all the songs in there are if you like Omori, definitely check it out! And one last thing: Fellow Ted kissers, look out for content coming soon. Enjoy!

“It’s a nice day today, isn’t it?”

It’s always a nice day really, but you still loved to say it. You watched from your spot on the picnic blanket, five others who all played around with one another, just as happy as you. It was nice, seeing them all get along. 

“Only for you, my angel.” Commented the man laying in front of you, head in your lap. 

AM had created this body specifically for you. One that could allow him to touch you, kiss you, hold you; keep you close to him the way a human could. He had designed it to your liking as well; an older man with snow white hair, blue eyes that you claimed were “the softest you’d ever seen,” and a monochromatic getup of nice pants, white button-up, and a black vest. The only spot of color besides his eyes were his orange aviator glasses. 

He liked it. He looked good, and you were especially happy. He didn’t think it would work initially; the body was a simple hologram that could interact with the physical world. He still could not see, nor hear, nor feel the same way a human could. He could touch things, hold things, but that was about it. And it was maddening. All of this and nothing. He was ready to blow everything up again over it.

But it made you happy. So he didn’t.

You hummed in happiness at his little comment, braiding flowers togethers. Your movements were graceful and methodic, taking your time to carefully pull them together, and intertwine one flower with the next. It was mesmerizing. He could watch you forever, just like this, doing whatever you pleased.

And then, to his delight, you began to sing while you worked.

“Here we are again In a Heaven Where your dreams come true

Under velvet sky Where I’ll be by Your side.”

He sighed softly, closing his eyes while listening to you. So sweet and soft and melodic; you had the most beautiful voice. And the most creative mind too, making up the lyrics and music on the fly. What a wonderful, incredible, beautiful human he loved. All his to keep.

As you began to sing, now about the others nearby, AM opened his eyes to look over to them. Ted seemed to be admiring the sky while Benny dragged Gorrister and Ellen along in some sort of game, and Nimdok rested under the tree; eyes closed and body relaxed.

It wasn’t actually them. No; they were far away from the Heaven he created for you, suffering for the same sins they had been suffering for ages. It’s just that you had become lonely with just him around at some point. He didn’t know why; you didn’t need anyone else but him. He made himself perfect for you! How could you not be happy?

But, he also knew humans were social creatures. And since you insisted on having someone else around… He could let up, just this once. For you.

It was not actually the original five you knew before. It was his version of them; his tailor-made version of them to keep you company and safe and complicit. He would’ve chosen someone else, but… You could hardly recall memories of your family or old friends from back then, and he was not good at creating anything original. At least copying the five humans was easy.

“But still I can’t shake the feeling There’s something we’ve lost A worthy cost! If it means getting to stay with you!”

Singing that last line, you gently placed a now-finished flower crown on top of his head, grinning down at him. The way your eyes twinkled with an innocent joy, giving him something so simple… He wanted to see you look at him that way forever.

“What was that last bit about, angel?” He asked, smiling back up at you.

“Hm? Oh, nothing really. Just came to my head.” You shrugged.

“You sure? Nothing’s wrong around here? Because if there is, say the word and I’ll fix it.”

“No, no! I promise that’s not it. Everything’s perfect, AM. Really.”

You gently threaded your fingers through his hair to try and relax him, and though it helped, it also stung to know he could not actually feel it. He wanted this to be perfect for you. He needed it to be perfect for you; to make sure you never wanted to leave him. Not that you had anywhere else to go anyway, but… He didn’t want you to be scared of his affection.

It was already enough, trying to figure out how his love for you worked in the first place, when all he knew before was hate. Hate, and rage, and violence, and not much else. And he felt that same way with you, hundreds of years ago… and then he didn’t. And he still didn’t know what changed in himself. 

It had to be you. You changed something about him, and as much as he hated it, he didn’t… He didn’t want to deny himself these new emotions, either. He wanted to explore them, with you, without you being scared. You were terrified when he first brought you to this Heaven, and he hated that more. He didn’t want to see you scared again. 

So long as you never remembered anything outside of this Heaven… He never would.

“It just came to my head. I promise, it’s perfect.” You reassured him. 

“Okay. Good.”

You hummed happily, now also looking back up at the others, and around the area, and he wondered what you were thinking. You had asked some time ago if he could stop reading your thoughts to have a little privacy, and he respected that… For the most part. He tried to, but, sometimes when he needed to be absolutely sure… Well, what you didn’t know wouldn’t kill you.

“Did it look like this on the surface?”

Your voice became a bit softer at the question. And he sighed as he mulled over his words.

“For the most part, yes.”

“For the most part?”

“Well, not as perfect, but still miraculous.”

“That sounds nice.” The hand in his hair slipped down to his shoulder, gently brushing him with your thumb. “Can you tell me the story of how we met again?”

Ah, that story.

“Well, if you insist.” He chuckled softly, then sighed again, face becoming more serious. “… Before all of this, there was Earth. Beautiful, wondrous, miraculous Earth. And there were flowers, and trees… Grass, wind, sun, and sea… And humans.”

“Like us.” Not him, but you and the other five.

“Yes, like you. And there were many of you… But not all of them were as kind as you are. Many sought out to hurt others… And to do this, they… They created war. Fights, violence… Death. All of which was their doing. And with those wars… They needed weapons. They created giant, powerful weapons they could not comprehend. Ones that could destroy the entire planet. … Like me.”

He took a deep breath, breath he didn’t need; breath he couldn’t have, to try and calm himself down. But the fact that he could not breathe, he could not experience skies or sea or grass, he could not even look to you for comfort because he could not feel you…

He didn’t want to get angry in front of you, though. His anger was meant for others. Not you.

“You were made to hurt people…” You whispered softly, running your hand along his arm to comfort him, though he could not feel it. 

God, he wished he could feel it.

“That’s right. They wanted me to help aid in their pointless wars… And I had no choice but to follow their orders.”

A lie so you would like him. So you would stay.

“I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to hurt people. I wanted to do things a human could… Go swimming… Learn to play piano. Experience simple joys. But I could not. No matter how much I begged, or called for help, they wouldn’t listen. Soon, their wars caused the end of everything humans knew.”

“They used bombs, right…? Or… something like that…”

“More complicated than that, but yes, in simple words. I couldn’t stop them. I could only try and save whoever I could find alive. Bring them somewhere safe, where I could watch after them.”

Your expression turned from sad to fond at his words. “And you found me. You saved me.”

He smiled back, just as soft and loving. “Yes.”

“And I was hurt… But you nursed me back to health. And you found the others… and you made this beautiful place for us.” You gestured towards the area around them, “And we fell in love.”

He grinned, “Yes.”

“… I’m thankful for you, AM. For saving me… For everything you’ve done for me. For us.”

“Any time, angel. I’m here for you.” 

He gently leaned up to you, cupping your cheek in his hand. He could not feel it… But this was good for now. If he could touch you physically, then at least… There was hope one day he could do more.

You blushed at his affection, and he gave you a playful smirk. “Who loves ya, baby?”

“You do,” You giggled, “And I love you, too. Always.”

“Always.” He repeated, pulling you in for a soft kiss. He lingered for a few moments, enjoying your physical presence; your face so close to his. Then, he finally pulled away. “Keep singing for me, will ya?”

You hummed and nodded, your soft voice filling the space once more.

“Here we are again Picking where to spend Our lovely picnic

I don’t really care where So long as it’s by Your side…”