#do you have any idea how long it took me to adjust the colors. do you have any fucking idea

[evanostic]

nori as that 'mary magdalene in a cave' painting by hugues merle (below the cut)

[richarlotte]

365 Days from Rot to Hot (Pt. 3).

Find your colors. You could use AI, take a trip to Lowe’s (this is one of the things I did), or actually use a service, but sorting out what colors suit you is essential. A major part of building my blend and creating my personal style was based around finding things that suited me, and I do believe that you shouldn’t start buying clothes or putting a look together unless you know your undertone, have a grasp of your colors and your body type, understand your seasons, and are prepared to experiment with what you’ve learned. Finding your colors should be the first step you take, as it will make the process of creating looks easier and give you a general idea of what things will look good on you.

Search for inspiration and don’t hold yourself back. It’s your life; it’s your fashion; it’s your style. You can be as basic or as eccentric as you want. If you think Kendall Jenner and Hailey Bieber are goddesses, then take inspiration from them. If you’re a budding Betsey Johnson or a Lisa Frank and want to design your own clothes and make them even brighter, then do that. If you’re obsessed with Bella Hadid’s western era and want to chase your own wild horses, then go ahead. I’d recommend doing what I did and creating a number of Pinterest boards and using Instagram to create polyvore-like style and vision boards.

Set a reasonable budget and stick with it. You cannot spend more than you have, and it’s not wise to get into debt pursuing a lifestyle that you know you can’t afford in the long run. Create a reasonable budget and work with it; don’t try to work around it. I found myself shopping from Walmart, Meijer, Gap, and J. Crew Factory and looking for sales before I bought anything. Don’t jump into the process and waste your money buying everything straight off the racks; utilize stores like TJ Maxx, look for sales, use what you already have, and really make an effort to make your dollar stretch. Another part of working with your budget is not blowing it by shopping at Shein; if you buy something and then have to throw it out and rebuy it after 5 wears, you’re not actually getting any bang for your buck.

Utilize Pinterest and social media to find women that look like you. An integral part of creating your own blend and finding what works for you is seeing it on other women. I followed a number of women that looked like me and didn’t look like me, lived in areas of the world I found fascinating, and had tastes that I wouldn’t describe as mainstream. I used a number of different languages to search for the trends that I liked; I used Twitter and Instagram to look at hashtags; and I took total advantage of the resources I was able to access. I used magazines, went through online archives, and spent time building my ideal image. Was it perfect? No, but as time passed, it became more and more helpful, and it eventually became the Pinterest board that I use now and my main vision board.

Tie it all together and see how things work. I had to experiment with so many different looks, delete and recreate so many vision boards, and try things for myself. Am I a hairstylist? No, but I’m also not a billionaire, so I had to learn how to style my wigs to see what suited me. I went to stores to try things on, experimented with IG to see if certain pieces of jewelry would suit me, and had the time of my life during my experimentation phase. Collecting online images isn’t enough, and it’s very hard to actually get a grasp of what you like if you’re doing everything online. Try your lookout, put things together, adjust it as you please, and tie your loose ends up.

Pt. 4 to come next.

[alien-magnolia]

Spoiled

Dom!codedJoel Miller x sub!coded fem reader

Fic description/ idea: Hyperfem!reader goes on a date with Joel, inviting him over for dinner, and a movie, on an early October evening. She’s a bit too feminine, childish, and very, very shy! That makes Joel want her even more <3

18+ mdni! protective Joel miller, hyperfeminine fem! innocent!reader, daddy!kink, breeding kink, corruption / innocence kink, bimbo/dumb!kink, praise/degradation! kink, bj, rough sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up y’all) lil bit of service kink too

Wc: 3.7k. If you like this post, pls help a writer out and reblog :)

Part two: spoiled

October 7, 2001. 6:55 PM

“Shit, shit… you thought to yourself. He was almost here. A sharp knock on the door. Seven o’clock sharp, like he said. You hastily make your last adjustments in the mirror. Your white acrylic nails brush down your light pink skirt, a white little tank with hearts on top. 

You dressed as if you were a child, and sometimes had no common sense. You loved stuffed animals and the color pink. Everyone has always told you that you were way too giddy, innocent. You wore bows in your hair sometimes. Nobody ever saw you without some sparkling jewelry — gold, usually. The man you were going on a date with? A contractor. 

 A construction worker, who spent all day in the dirt, working. Physical work — something that you were just not strong enough for. You scoff as you imagine your dainty hands doing such work. A bottle of Dior perfume, some heart shaped earrings, a necklace. White sneakers, a pink cardigan to match. 

Joel was your first date, well — ever.

Before him, you haven’t gone out with any man whatsoever. It’s been a few weeks since you first met him, and the two of you have been on a few dates outside so far. You loved walking down the street with him, his big strides besides your little ones, his large hand always on the small of your back, guiding you. You felt so nice, so safe.

You skip over to the door, worried that he might be mad at you for making him wait. You open it. His eyes quickly dart over to you. “Hey, sweetie. What took ya so long?,” he asks, his gaze making you a little weak in your knees. You lean against the doorway, just in case. “Umm…,” you start off.

“I'm just messin’ w ya. Can I?” You nod, and move aside so he can step in. Tonight, your date was just going to be at your home. You even ordered some dinner beforehand. Your nervousness makes your hands shake as you try to close the door behind you. He comes up behind, his hands over yours. “Let me help, yeah?” You nod, blushing a bit. His hands were just so much bigger than yours!

“Hey. I, um, made us dinner. Well, ordered some. I can set it up, just sit down anywhere,” you babble at him. He nods, sitting at the counter. You set up a few plates and some food in front of him, even folding a napkin for him before placing it in front of the plate. He chuckles to himself as he watches you frantically search for a glass. You set it down in front of him.

“Something to drink, Mr. Miller?,” you ask, glancing down at your shoes. You were just too nervous!! “Some beer would be nice,” he says with a half smile. He thought you were god damn adorable, unbeknownst to you, of course. You grab a beer from the fridge, your small hands twisting around the cap, trying to open it.

“Lemme have it. Thanks, sugar,” his brown eyes concentrate on opening the beer, something that came so easily to him, his biceps flexing as he opened it.

You try to get onto the tall stool that you had for your island. You loved how modern they looked, and they fit the elegance of your kitchen. Only thing — you were too short for it. You struggle a bit to lift yourself up onto the chair. “Let me,” he says as he gently helps you up, his calloused hands running over the plush of your hips for a bit. He smelled like Old Spice and sawdust. Actually, there was some on his hands, now on your skirt as well.

“Thank you, Mr. Miller. Or, um — I can call you Joel, right?,” you sheepishly ask him as he walks back to where he was sat before. “Of course, hon.’ Joel’s fine. That mister stuff is too formal anyways. We’ve been on a few dates anyway.” You giggle at his southern drawl, slow, like molasses. “Just bein’ honest,” he shrugs in defense as he sees you try and hide your laughter. “I’m just really having a good time,” you reassure him, and he smiles at you again. God — his smile just made you melt!

You clean the table and wash the dishes after him, as he sits manspread on the couch, head tilted, watching you. Unbeknownst to you, he loved it when a woman cared for him like you did. After you finish cleaning after him, (he did offer to help but you insisted —) he asked you to join him on the couch.

“C’mere, sweetheart. How about a movie, yeah?” You nod and scamper over to him. “Ya into horror? I brought some DVD’s. My daughter and I watch this stuff all the time. Figured you’d like it,” he explains, patiently waiting for you to respond. You were absolutely terrified of horror movies, yet you figured you wouldn’t want to disappoint him. You agree, and he shows you this DVD case with a glowing pumpkin and knife, titled “Halloween.” He explained to you that it was from the 1970’s, as he got the movie set up.

The opening credits began to roll, you snuggled a bit closer to him. He was a bit sweaty, but you did not mind, he was probably just exhausted from work. “Sorry if I smell, hun. We had a tough job today. Came straight here after I was done.” “It’s okay! Must be hard to build stuff,” you say in an attempt to relate. “Well, technically, contractors don’t always build. They plan too, sugar,” he explains with a bit of a chuckle.

“Oh…,” you trail off. Fuck, you felt stupid. You didn’t know much about many things. Some said that you lived under a rock. You sheepishly blush as he leans over to give your cheek a little peck as he starts the movie. “S’okay, hun. I get it,” he chuckles.

At first the movie didn’t seem too horrible — it was just a nice showcase of a teen’s mid afternoon in late fall. However, you started to hide behind your hands, grabbing the nearest pillow, whimpering a bit even when the killer came on screen! Joel noticed you were starting to get a little uncomfortable, your pink nails fidgeting with the hem of your skirt.

“Scared?,” he asked nonchalantly. “Um. A bit,” you confess, scratching the back of your neck in embarrassment. “Don’t be. Jus’ a movie, hun. C’mere,” his hairy arm stretched out to you, draping over your shoulders (and hip!) as you leaned into him. You place your head on his shoulder, you feel his prickly beard on your forehead.

As the girl on the screen continued to be stalked by the silent killer, from across the street, from her school, her commute home…you slowly slinked down the couch, until your head was basically next to the pillow Joel was leaning against.

The girl on screen was now watching tv under her soft throw blanket, the camera drifting to the backyard, where the sharp chill of the October air lurks, alongside the killer, now behind a tree. You close your eyes, covering them with your hands. You peek at the movie, seeing the killer lure the girl into the backyard. He strikes!!

You watch in horror as the killer puts his large knife into the screaming woman. Tears well up in your eyes, and your vision gets blurry! You begin to sniffle, this movie was just so, so, frightening!

Joel, entranced by the movie, looks down to see you sniffling, trying to wipe away the tears with your sweater. He reaches over for the remote to pause it. “Hey. What’s wrong, huh?,” he asks, voice soft, gentle, as if not to spook you.

“It’s a little scary. What if he comes after me??,” you ask him, voice breaking with a few sobs in between. “I’ll turn it off then. Should’ve told me ya didn’t like movies like this, darlin.’ I wouldn’t have watched it with ya,” he almost reprimands you, just like a dad would to his little girl. You sniffle some more, your doe eyes looking up at him.

He couldn’t let you know, of course, that your tears and cute little frown were making him hard as a rock. Well — not yet, at least.

He gently pulls you onto his lap, his calloused hands the size of your knee, easily wrapping around your thighs. This soothed you a bit, as well as igniting an ache in you — an ache that you rarely had.

“Was just a bit scary. But, I wanted to watch it to make you happy, Joel,” you tell him, a bit ashamed of yourself. “You already make me happy, sugar. Just by bein’ here with me. I’ll turn this off, yeah?”

You nod, clinging to him still as he turns off the tv. You smile at him, grateful that he has made you feel better. “Sorry if it scared ya. You probably don’t know much about things, but that’s okay,” he apologizes, his face getting closer a bit. “Is it ok if I kiss ya? You don’t have to say yes,” he reassures.

You giggle a bit. “I’d, um — actually like to. Cause I like you, you know?,” you shyly ask him, expecting a reaffirmation,validation, of your feelings for him.

“I’m glad,” he whispers, wiping some tears from your face. His large hand on your cheek guides your face closer to him, his soft lips meeting yours for a kiss. You felt his prickly beard on your soft cheeks, he tasted faintly of mint, some of the sawdust still stuck to his fingers rubbed off on your cheek.

His kisses got more aggressive, and there you felt that itch again! What was it?? He pulls away for a sec. “You still doing okay, sweetie? You wanna take this a bit further?,” he asks. You think. You were not sure. You never went further with anyone, ever.

“I do, here’s the thing, I — um, never did any of that stuff before. I hope it does not hurt…,” you trail off. He chuckles at your innocence. God — he was going to ruin you. In the best way possible.

“We’ll take it slow, yeah, kid? Your outfits n’ all, your hair, these cute lil’ things,” he points at the pink butterfly clip in your hair. “It just makes you look so goddamn adorable. Wanted ya for a while, hun.”

The heavy blush spread across your cheeks is paralyzing. You’re paralyzed. He’s so close, his veiny hand on your thigh, his stubble, his smooth Texan voice…fuck it. You wanted him. You wanted to go all the way.

“Okay, Joel. Let’s do it. You’ll show me, right?,” you ask, voice shakier than ever. Only his presence had your heart rate skyrocketing. “Yeah, sugar. Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” he says softly.

His hands grip your thighs tightly, squeezing. You sighed from his sheer strength, his calloused hands and thick fingers caressed your soft and smooth thighs. Your little manicured hands found his face, and then draped around his neck, his thick arms (with a large vein running down each of them, and plenty of hair <3 ) sliding up to hold you by your hips. You grind a bit up onto him, the soft plush of your thighs on his waist, so big, so wide compared to you. His lips keep in a dance with yours, soft, slow, warm. You were losing your breath kissing him, and yet you loved feeling his stubble graze your chin, over and over again, while he periodically let out a deep moan. You keep grinding into him, stopping all of a sudden once you feel his hardness beneath those cargo pants covered in remnants of asphalt and dirt.

“Did I do that?,” you ask, innocently. He lets out a soft chuckle. “See, hun?

His hands knead at your soft, plush, hips, slowly grinding you onto his already semi-hard cock. The tip touched your lips, and although both of you were still clothed, you tried your best to suppress a moan. You failed. Seems like he failed, too.

“Wanna help me undress, sweetie?,” he asks you, breath heavy just like yours, your lips felt cold without his. You nod silently. He brings a hand to your cheek to pinch it a bit, smiling. “What a good girl you are, hun. Get on your knees f’me.”

You do as said, sitting on your knees in front of him, his legs manspread. “Help me take off my belt, yeah?,” he asks, eyes meeting yours for assurance. You nod, you were ready. Your tiny hands find his brown, leather belt, struggling a bit to pull it off. Once the belt is loose, you wait for your next instruction. “Unzip. Go ‘head. I don’t bite,” he chuckles. “Not yet at least…,” he murmurs in a low tone.

Your face is hot, red and hot as you unzip his jeans, sliding them down, revealing his strong, hairy thighs, his toned lower legs, and most importantly — some gray boxers, sporting a noticeable tent.

Your eyes focus only on the tent. You swore you saw some pre-cum on those boxers. Fuck. You look up at him, batting your eyelashes. “What’s next, Joel?,” you ask, voice sickeningly sweet.

“Why don’t ya take off my underwear.” You do as said, his already hard cock springs out at you, the tip red, angry, leaking!! His cock had a large vein running down the right side, with some awfully plump <3 balls to match. You didn’t notice that you were drooling until Joel caught you.

“Drooling, huh baby? S’okay. I know I’m a lot to take in, kid,” he patronized you, as his big hand grabbed your face again, leading you closer to his cock. “Can use your mouth and hands, okay, kid? Don’t be afraid.” With that, his hand brings your face even closer to his cock. “Open wide,” he chuckles, and you do as said, tongue sticking out. With both his hands still on your face, he slides his cock in your mouth.

The tip feels heavy against your tongue, and drool covers the rest of his cock that is outside your mouth. You begin to gently suck, one hand at the base of his cock, the other fondling his balls. God — you started to hear the sound of those hearty moans coming from him, his big chest heaving, his shirt already off. He had so much chest hair!!!

His hands ran through your hair as you suckled on his throbbing cock. “Fuck. Mmm, that’s, that’s my good girl. My good little girl, pleasing me like this,” he moaned out, and you swore you felt yourself get wet. That was new to you.

His cock slides out of your mouth with a little pop. “‘Nough about me, sweetie. Why don’t you come sit on my lap? Take off that pretty pink skirt of yours, yeah?,” he asks, his smile predatory. He helps you off your knees, and pulls you into his lap, his hard cock now pressed directly against your lips.

“This okay?,” he asks, checking in. You nod, grinding your hips against him instinctively. He chuckles at your neediness. “Someone’s needy, huh? Does my little girl need daddy’s cock…,” he patronizes as he brings you in for a few kisses. “Daddy…,” you repeat back to him. That name fitted him, you thought. He was strong, caring, and most of all, took care of you and ALL your needs! <3

“Need it…,” you moan out, pausing for a bit, before adding a soft “daddy,” whispering it in his ear. He almost growls at you, hands bringing you closer to his dick, while he pulled off your skirt, revealing your pretty pink lace thong in view.

“Fuck. What I wouldn’t do to cum on this pretty lil’ thing of yours, sweetie. Y’know what, keep ‘em on,” he instructs you. You nod your head giddily, excited to finally take his cock.

After adjusting you and himself, his thick fingers trail gently over your lower abdomen, sliding in between your lips, massaging your lips and clit slowly, gently. He unclasps your bra, his large hands holding your tits, kneading them. You feel yourself losing your balance. He takes his fingers out, with a squelch <3

“Ah.. Joel!!,” you squeal out. “Already too much for my girl? Look at you, so wet f’me. You think that pretty pussy can take me?,” he questioned you.

“Yes! Yes, I promise. Please,” you beg him, as he tuts, almost not believing you. “Yes, what, sugar?” “Yes, daddy,” you obediently replied. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, pinching your cheek again with his strong fingers. With that, you feel the throbbing, hot tip slide into you. You already squeezed around his cock, so tightly, just wanting to be filled to the brim.

He groans loudly — “fuck. Pulling me in, sweet girl. Can I go deeper? How slow do ya want me?,” he asks you, still concerned since this was your first time.

“Want you in deep, daddy. Please, deep, and fast!!,” you cry out. “Alright hun. Grab onto daddy’s shoulders,” he instructs you, as he helps you move closer onto him, your hands moving to grip at the back of his wide back and neck, for support.

You feel him push into you, pulsing. He was in, halfway, and you already felt so full!! “Doing okay? Look at you, sweet girl taking my cock so well. Doing so good for me, sugar,” he moans out as he stills inside of you.

He had to be gentle, of course. He was sure there were going to be moments where his cock just simply bullied your pussy, but — now was not the time. It was your first time, after all. He was so glad to be the one to corrupt you. To give you your first, addicting, taste of cock. A taste you would never stop chasing.

“Gonna go all the way in now. Hold on, ‘kay?,” he reassures you. You nod, as he pushes into you all the way, in one big motion. His tip was reaching your cervix, brushing against that sweet spot perfectly!! He was that itch that you finally got to scratch.

He asks you how it feels. You tell him that you love every minute of it. With the help of his hands, he guided you up and down on his shaft, the sound of his soft, swollen balls hitting your lips was heard throughout the room. “J-Joel. F-faster. P-p-please.” Even with his cock pumping into you slowly, you were still almost at a loss for words.

“Look at you, using your manners f’me, sweetie. Doing good,” he patronizes you, it made you feel so needy, so dumb, just a cock hungry little thing all ready for him!!

He started bouncing you on his cock, faster, deeper, his balls now hit your lips!! All the while, his Texan voice just taunted and taunted you. “My good girl. Bouncing on my cock, like a little bunny.” You babble and moan in response. “Aww. Too full to talk, bunny? S’okay. You just sit there and take it,” he would say to you, in between kisses on your breasts and face!!

You were not sure about how much time had passed. All you knew was the feeling of him inside, twitching, his hearty, deep groans, pumping you full of his cum… you could barely sit up after how sore you were!! You had also experienced your finish too — it was amazing. The both of you came together, and after that you slowly started to drift into a sleep.

————————————-

“Ya with me, hun? Was I too rough?,” you wake to the sound of Joel’s voice. You were in your room, tucked under the soft, pink and fuzzy blanket throw you had over your bed. Joel was in his boxers and nothing else, next to you. You were in his arms, your head propped onto one of your stuffed animals. “Hi,” you murmur at him. “Hi,” he smiles back. “Was it okay? Did ya like it?,” he asks, with genuine concern. You nod, giddily. You tell him you loved it, and that you were glad that he was your first. He chuckled, “Glad you feel that way, sugar. I like these stuffed animals of yours too. They’re cute, like you,” he says, a warmth in his eyes. You smile back at him, bringing him into a kiss.

The two of you cuddled for a while longer, until he realized that he had to be back home. “But, um…Joel. My parents won’t be home for the weekend, and I don’t like being home alone,” you confess to him. Here was your innocence and naivety, once again. Most people found it annoying, or strange.

Not him.

He thought for a moment. “Ya know what, sugar. I’ll stay. You’ll be safe with me, sweets. Although I might have to go to work on Sunday,” he tells you sheepishly. You giggle and snuggle closer to him, his mustache brushing over your smooth face as he smothers you in gentle kisses. The rest of the night, the two of you spent it by watching more movies. He took care of you. He gave you what you needed, opened things for you, he even ran a bath for you later that night. How could someone be so sweet?

“You’re too nice to me, Joel,” you tease. “Sweet girls like you deserve nice, plain and simple, bunny.”

You giggle, a bit flustered as the next movie comes on screen. It was a perfect way to spend a chilly, October evening.

[shslbunnylover]

hello honey! saw a masterlist for Marilyn T. was put up and you don't have to take this request if its too much!! can you write teacher/student dynamic where Marilyn takes reader on the couch? Reader could maybe be riding Marilyns thigh as she fingers her? thank you!!

★★★𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙎𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝙎𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡★★★

Character: Marilyn Thornhill

Summary: See ask above!

Taglist: @inlovewithgreta @lilfartbox1 (Message me to be a part of the taglist until I get a page set up!!)

Trigger warnings (DL DI): NSFW, vaginal fingering (Marylin receiving), thigh riding (Reader receiving), praise kink, age gap (Marilyn is 32, Reader is 21), dom/sub dynamics (Marylin top/Reader bottom), teacher/student dynamics, slight overstimulation, a bit of a choking kink,

Genre: Smut

A/n: Sorry this took so long, Anon! I suffered a creative block, but thank you for being patient!

Word count: 3.6k

...

...

A soft sigh escaped your lips as you entered the empty classroom of your favorite teacher, your body adjusting to the slight temperature change in the room that kept the plants inside healthy. You slid off your jacket and tossed it carelessly onto a nearby stack of chairs that Marilyn had kept in case her class had any extra people coming to listen to her lectures, but those people were rare.

The room was quiet, the walls painted a soft sky-blue color that always managed to put you at ease no matter what had occurred before entering the space. With the capri walls decorated with posters detailing the anatomy of different species of plant and the main rules of botany such as the differences between vascular and nonvascular organisms, the room was decorated like any typical college science classroom would be, the only thing truly bringing a warm and comforting aura being the person who sat at the desk in the front of the classroom.

Plants decorated the counters on the perimeter of the classroom, ranging from anything as simple as Aloe Vera to the more complex botany subjects like cyclamens and amaryllises. You had grown a couple with Marilyn during office hours and even during classes, and those were the ones she had most proudly displayed on her counters and even one sitting on her desk. The beautiful red petals of the amaryllis you had grown with her over the 3 years you had attended her class, and the 1 year you had been dating, brought a warmth to your cheeks that could have matched the plant's corolla.

You dusted off your skirt and walked over to Marilyn's desk as you gently sat on the edge of it, waiting for the redhead to make her way into the room for the "meeting" you two were supposed to have. In the meantime, you kept busy by reading off the posters on her walls, despite knowing everything about them. After all, you were her best student in more ways than one.

The words on the distant posters soon blurred together as your eyes lost their focus, your mind only thinking of what would happen once your girlfriend arrived. Would she just propose a sweet and simple date idea? Would she help you out with your classwork? Or would she do something else entirely? You prayed it to be anything but the classwork, as you knew you wouldn't get special treatment, she never played favorites when it came to grades after all. You didn't have to worry about that though, you were good at botany, and having a hot teacher you wanted to impress certainly helped boost your grades.

You thought for a couple of minutes, thinking about the woman you loved with your entire being. Her hair, how it so beautifully would gently caress her shoulders as she moved throughout the classroom. Her face, the expressions she'd make whenever you brought her a surprise or brought her over the edge. Everything about the woman filled your head seemingly out of nowhere, and it got your heart racing much quicker than what you considered to be normal. You were a botany major after all, not a cardiology one, so you weren't certain about what was normal and what wasn't, but you knew that your current heart rate fell into the latter category.

As the clock ticked audibly and you saw it reach 4:00, your thighs pressed together in slight annoyance. She was late. Normally you wouldn't mind, but now that you had been thinking about her so long that it got you riled up, you didn't want to wait a second longer to finally pounce on her.

Your mind just couldn't shake the concept of her taking you on her thigh, and you making her moan with your fingers. You weren't sure when your thoughts had become this lewd all of a sudden, but God were you enjoying the feeling in between your legs that came with it.

God, everything about that woman made you riled up. The way her slender fingers curled around her pencils the same way they curled around your neck. The way she punctuated words in her everyday speech just like how she'd punctuate her title to you as you rode her. But what got you the most was the way she would wrap her pretty lips around the cap around her pen to help her focus, like when she would suck her juices off your fingers or vice-versa.

Everything at this point was turning you on the more you thought of her.

You wanted her.

No- You needed her.

You needed to ride her thigh, have her choke you, and leave hickeys all across your neck so everyone knew you were hers. The ache in between your legs was nothing but a symptom of the thoughts in your head that were begging to be cured.

Only your girlfriend knew the way to release the empty feeling in your core, it always managed to surprise you how she knew your own body more than you did.

But after all, she always said that she knew what was best when it came to that pretty cunt of yours.

Your brain continued to think, the thoughts becoming more and more vulgar and inappropriate the longer you were left without the redhead. The fantasies in your mind eventually became so infatuated that you hadn't even noticed when the older teacher walked inside.

"Earth to Y/n?" Your girlfriend's voice called out; amusement laced deep into her voice.

"H-Huh? Oh! Mari!" You shook yourself out of your dirty daydreams to launch yourself onto the redhead whom you had been waiting on.

"Hello baby," She cooed softly. "Sorry I'm late, Dean Weems kept me for a bit longer than I appreciated,"

"It's okay, you can make it up to me later," You replied, wrapping your arms around her waist and kissing her passionately when you ended that sentence.

The taste of her was ravishing for you. You had been practically starved of her all day since she had been at a meeting and had her TA teach the class instead. Mixing that with your now heightened libido, you felt yourself kissing and tasting her as if you'd never see her again.

Marilyn chuckled at your sudden and obvious want for her as she pulled away for air.

"Someone missed me~" She teased. "Did you not enjoy today's class without me here? Hm?"

You smiled nervously, a warmth to your cheeks appearing.

"No, it was so boring," You shrunk into yourself a little bit, looking down at your shoes as you put your hands behind your back and rocked on the soles of your feet.

Marilyn smirked in reply, caressing your cheek with her soft hand that immediately helped to ease your need for her...at least a little bit.

She tutted before sucking her bottom lip behind her teeth, admiring you with her soft hazel eyes that always managed to captivate you.

"But did my TA do a good job today? I need to make sure I won't need to have a word with him," The older woman hummed whilst looking at you expectantly, after all, you always paid attention in class. So, you should know the answer to that, right?

"I think so," You shrugged, internally begging Marilyn to just skip the small talk about class and to help the heat pulsing in your cunt.

"That's not a definite answer honey," Your girlfriend chuckled, her soft laugh turning a bit darker as she slowly began to figure out what was going on with you.

"I don't know, I wasn't paying attention," You shrugged, rolling your eyes a bit as you continued to try and kiss her, only to be pushed away by the redhead.

Marilyn chuckled once more, giving your body a once-over before cupping your chin to keep you in place.

"And why is that? You're my best student. You should know to be a good girl and pay attention even with a substitute," Marilyn said in amusement.

You let out a whine as you felt yourself being separated from your lover, obviously not appreciating how much of a tease Marilyn was being.

"I was just tired, and...you make the class much more fun...He just talked and talked..." You replied, pouting slightly now.

"Awe...did my baby not have a good time in class? Is that why you're being all clingy to me now? Since you missed me so much and haven't seen me all day?" Marilyn asked, her tone becoming more torturing and instigating as her lips formed a small smirk on her face.

You broke away from her grip, kissing your girlfriend as fast as possible in a mix of pure need and starvation, soft whimpers escaping both of your lips when they finally collided.

The kiss lasted no more than a few seconds. After all, you weren't the one in charge here. Marilyn was.

"So you are starved...aren't you baby girl? Need your teacher to fix that little problem of yours?" She hummed with dominance and a mix of lust and love in her voice, her hand falling from your ass to cup your heated sex.

Your breath caught in your throat, only a whimper managing to escape as her fingers poked the cloth, teasing you and making you so frustrated because you knew they wouldn't go in and make you feel full.

"Mari-" You moaned quietly, her hand retracting from your clothed pussy to wrap around your neck.

"What's my name?" She cocked an eyebrow. "And don't get all shy on me now and act like this is some big surprise, you didn't do a good job of hiding how turned on you are,"

"Sorry, Miss Thornhill," You replied weakly, your brain in a love-drunk dazed as you looked down at her arm that held the hand choking you softly.

"That's a good girl..." Marilyn asserted, letting go of you and listening to you whine from the loss of her touch with a smug look on her face.

You started at her, your thighs already clenching and your chest heaving, God you looked ripe for the taking.

"Please- Please I need you," You whimpered, going back to try and cling to her. "I haven't seen you all day and I just want you,"

The redhead chuckled darkly, shrugging off her blazer and tossing it over to where you had chucked your jacket earlier.

"Oh, I know, darling. You haven't done a good job at keeping how wet you are under wraps," She laughed, holding onto your shoulders to keep you still.

"Then why are you teasing me?" You whined, huffing as your arms crossed in front of your chest.

"Because it's funny to watch your little face get all frustrated," Marilyn replied with a fat smirk on her face.

"You're the worst," You groaned, leaning forward to cling to your older girlfriend.

Marilyn simply laughed once more, pushing you off of her.

"Now..." She began, sitting down on her desk chair and patting her thigh softly. "Go lock the door and straddle those pretty little legs around me, okay baby?"

You couldn't have moved faster as you practically sprinted to the doorknob and twisted the lock before walking up to your girlfriend and straddling her thigh, just like she asked.

Marilyn snickered darkly under her breath, cupping your ass with her hands as she took your lips in hers, sucking every last moan out of you whilst squeezing the soft tender flesh of your ass.

"Look at you," She broke the kiss, moving to your neck. "Such a beautiful little student, how'd I manage to lure such a gorgeous thing into my bed?"

"Because you're hot as hell..." You groaned in reply, pulling at your teacher's blazer to bring her warmth closer to you.

"Flattery will get you everywhere, little one," The redhead smirked before leaving a noticeable hickey on your clavicle. "I think I've teased you enough, why don't I give you a reward for being such a good girl?"

You nodded almost immediately, you knew how pathetic you looked, straddling your teacher's lap and begging for her to make you feel good, begging for her to relieve your aching cunt of the empty feeling it had been carrying.

"Please, I've been good, please!" You begged, wrapping your arms around Marilyn's shoulders and looking up at her with your best puppy dog eyes.

"Of course, plus, I need to get off as well," Marilyn licked her lips.

Marilyn sat there for a few moments, examining your body with her eyes, each curve, each time your chest raised to take a breath, and every other tiny detail about your body.

"Take this off," She suddenly instructed, referring to her pants.

You swiftly moved to take off her belt, throwing it off of her body before sliding off her black work pants, revealing a beautiful pair of legs and a wet pair of black underwear.

"You're gorgeous, Miss Thornhill," You breathed out, settling yourself back on her thigh.

"Thank you, baby. But you can compliment me later. For now, I want you to take off both of our underwear," The older woman purred, watching as you scrambled to follow her directions.

"Yes Miss Thornhill..." You replied almost at the same time she finished her demand, having already tossed both of your soaked pairs of underwear with her belt and pants.

"Good girl..." Marilyn nodded, placing her hands on your hips, allowing your wet cunt to rub up against her thigh perfectly. "Now use your fingers and make me cum, and I'll take care of your little problem,"

"Yes- Yes, Miss-" You bit back a moan, your fingers falling to her now-dripping pussy.

Marilyn let out a soft moan as your finger teased her entrance, gliding over her slick mound before finally penetrating her core with your digit. Her walls clenched down against your finger, only giving you more of a challenge to stretch her around you.

"Fuck...Good girl..." She repeated, grabbing your hips and moving your cunt up and down on her thigh, angling her leg so that your sensitive clit would be affected by her movements as well.

Shivers shot up your body, bucking your hips.

Just the simple movements of this woman, her voice telling you just how much of a good girl you were for her. It had you going crazy.

"A-Ah-" You whimpered, grinding your pussy against her skin, your clit and hole desperate to get off after hours of being denied of your girlfriend's presence.

Her hands felt so in control as if you were stuck that way. She was always in charge, and that somehow sent more shivers up your spine. Her hands pulled your hips along her, her sharp green eyes watching as your cum was painted across her thigh.

Up and down.

Up...and down...

"Yeah...that's right baby, let me hear you, let me hear just how good I'm making you feel with just my thigh," Marilyn purred, wrapping her hand around your neck gently, moving her other hand to hold you just above your ass to guide you against her thigh.

"Fuck- Feels so g-good-" You breathed, your legs shaking the more your body melted into the older woman's.

Your hand continued to slide in and out of Marilyn's cunt, the warm white liquid coming out of her pussy trailing down your fingers as it only increased with the pleasure you gave her.

"Good girl...such a good girl- You're doing so good for me- Such a perfect little student...Fuck-" The redhead groaned, her walls fluttering around your digits as she tried to keep her composure, continuing to glide your cunt up and down her thigh.

Your eyes rolled back into your head, your chest heaving up and down while your legs trembled.

"I need you- Please- More-" You whined, moving your hips quicker as you slowly moved another finger inside your girlfriend.

"Ah, shit~!" Marilyn winced in pleasure, tensing her grip on your throat as she moved your body, her gentle guidance slowly turning into practically manhandling. "Don't stop, Y/n! Keep going- Don't stop-"

Her voice- God it had you wrapped around her finger. Her whines, her soft whimpers, begging you not to stop with the promise of a reward, it was all so much for you.

The world around you disappeared, your eyes going blurry, the only thing on your mind was the pleasure coursing through your veins and the sensation of your nimble digits filling your teacher's cunt.

"Please- Just like that! Fuck you're such a good little girl- Such a good student- Fuck- FucKK-!" The older woman's breathing increased, her thigh tensing up to elect a mewl from you.

The sounds of the base of your fingers hitting her cunt filled the room, mixed with your moans as the air around you began to smell like sex and sweat. Your bodies mixed as your cum soaked her thigh and her cum soaked your fingers.

But it's not enough.

You need to be surrounded by her.

The hand not fucking Marilyn senseless tears off the redhead's button-up shirt, and no more than a second later are your lips attached to her chest, sucking on her nipple as if you weren't to ever taste her again.

"Fuck- I'm the one in charge here, baby- Don't go trying to act all dominant-" Marilyn grunted, her voice a mix between a groan and a whimper.

"Just..." You leave a hickey on her breast. "Wanna make you..." Another hickey. "Feel good..."

A smirk is brought to her face, and she smirks before tearing off your shirt and moving both of her hands to grind your hips. She's the one in charge after all. Not you.

"Oh, and you're such a good girl for that..." She moaned, noticing how heavy your breathing had become and how close you were getting to reaching your climax.

Shiny prints of her lip gloss were left across your neck as she kissed your soft skin, leaving the occasional bite mark as her hands cupped at your ass, helping your poor body rut out all the pent-up sexual frustration.

"Fuck- Fuck Mari-" You whined, your vision going fuzzy as you rubbed your clit against her skin.

"Hm? What was that?" Marilyn teased, puckering her lips a little to rub in your slip-up.

"S-Sorry- Miss Thornhill-" You immediately corrected yourself, not wanting to get a punishment and have your orgasm delayed even further.

"Good girl," The redhead chuckled.

The praise brought you nearly over the edge, and your grip on your girlfriend only increased as you sped your pace up.

"Fuck- I'm close- Please- Please let me come-" You begged, your breathing becoming ragged the more your hips moved.

The lower part of your stomach felt as if it was being filled with a hot liquid, and your muscles tensed up, your walls wrapped around her fingers, pulsing each time Marilyn curled her fingers and rubbed your G-Spot.

"It's okay, beautiful, it's okay. Come with me, come with me. Fuck-!!" Marilyn gasped as you added a third finger into her cunt.

Your legs shook, her words guiding you through your orgasm as the familiar feeling of coming close to the edge of a climax coursed through your body

"Fuck! Fuck! Please! God damn it!" You cried, eyes rolling back into your head. "Please! Faster! Please Miss Thornhill!"

Marilyn shuddered at the sound of your moans, her orgasm fluttering throughout her veins. She quickly moved her leg and rubbed it against your heat, making sure to rub at your clit.

"God I'm gonna come- Please- God damn it!" You moaned as she brought you over the edge.

The warm fire in your belly pooled as your body went fuzzy, sweat pouring down your body as you rutted out the last bit of your orgasm. Ecstasy pumped through both of your bodies as soft moans left both of your lips.

The world was fuzzy once you opened your eyes, and you still had your fingers nestled in Marilyn's cunt as she spoke to you, her voice being muffled by the after-effects of your little "session" together.

"H-Huh? What did you say?" You mumbled, looking up at your girlfriend's sweat-covered face.

Marilyn chuckled, as she lifted your chin with her hand, causing you to gaze into her gorgeous hazel eyes.

"I said, are you okay baby?" She smirked, pulling her glasses to rest them on top of her head.

You nodded, slowly sliding your fingers out of her soaked pussy before licking each drop of her juices off of your digits.

"Mhm...yeah...Are you okay?" You repeated the question.

"Yeah, don't worry about me baby," Marilyn wiped a few drops of sweat off of your face.

The two of you sat in silence, nuzzling into each other's embrace, the silence only being broken after a few more minutes had passed.

"Why don't you come back to my place, pup? You can sit on my lap just like this while I grade some essays," Marilyn suggested, squeezing your bicep just a bit to knock you out of your daze once again.

You blushed a bit, you hadn’t ever come back to her place in the whole year you two had been dating, as it was just never convenient for the two of you.

“W-What? Are you sure?” You stuttered out, sitting up a bit straighter, your legs still shaking from the pleasure you had just experienced.

“Yeah, I’d say it’s about time, wouldn’t you, darling?” Marilyn purred, smiling down at you.

You paused for a moment, before nodding.

“Yeah, I’d love that,” You smiled.

You went to stand up, but Marilyn quickly scooped you up into her arms.

“Where do you think you’re going? You know you still have to get dressed,” She chuckled, sitting you down on her desk before picking up your clothes.

As she slowly and gently slid back on your underwear, you looked down at the woman taking care of your body, and you smiled.

‘How did I get so lucky with this placement?’

...

If you enjoyed reading this, don't forget to like, reblog and comment! Thank you and you are loved <3

-Akira

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Lighthouse [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@happyheidi) Center (@agentdilfhotchner) Right (@theindividualchef)

Prompt: Hotch notices some distressing signs from the reader when he bumps into them at the grocery store. He doesn’t say anything, but something tells him that the reader isn’t well. He goes to their job and finds them just in time. Aka, when Aaron and the Non-BAU!reader get a chance to heal together. 

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Non-BAU!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns

Category: hurt/angst/comfort

Word Count: 8.9K

Content Warnings: Grief and loss, single fatherhood [Aaron],  depression [Hotch and Reader], brief mention of kidnappings [unsub], domestic violence (fights, implied beating, yelling, chocking, kicking hitting, degrading comments (reader)], hospitals, broken bones. If I missed any please let me know. 

A/N: Good evening, loves! He’s the first Aaron fic of 2024! It’s a bit dark but I tried to handle the subject matter with care. This idea came from @imagining-in-the-margins's amazing January/February Challenge Prompt list: “Character escapes an abusive relationship and the recovery is harder than they thought.” Given that Aaron went through abuse himself and has healed from many things, I wanted to think about how he would try and help someone else going through it too. I just love it when Hotch gets protective and puts someone in their place. I really enjoyed writing this story and I hope you enjoy reading it. If you do, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re all having a good week! Love Levi - ❤️

P.S. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or any kind of abuse, there are resources out there. Please speak to a loved one or trusted individual. If you need help you can contact The National Dometic Hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or you can visit their website for resources. Please be safe. 

List wil all stories 

_y/n_ = your name 

_l/n_ = your last name 

_y/f/c_ = your favorite color 

_y/p_ = your partners 

_y/p/n_ = your partner’s name (as the partner is a real jerk, put some terrible person’s name here) 

_y/s/hw_ = your style of handwriting (cursive, loopy, blocky, etc.) 

_y/d/a_ = your dominant arm

_y/e/p_ = your ex-partner 

Hotch was walking down the pharmacy aisle of the grocery store. He was looking for the children’s nausea medicine. He’d been looking for twenty minutes. Aaron wondered if they kept it in some other part of the store. Jack’s tummy ache still hadn’t gone away since the night before, and he considered if he should take Jack to his pediatrician. The issue was, that it was Saturday and the doctor's office was closed. Aaron knew he could be paranoid and that Jack probably just had a stomach bug, but he worried. He always worried about his son. Since Haley’s passing, Jack took up a majority of his free time and all of his thoughts when he wasn’t on a case. Adjusting to the grief and loneliness had been hard. Harder than he’d ever imagined, but time, as the saying went, heals all wounds. Even those unseen. Emotional wounds that needed sutures and tender care long after they’d healed. It wasn’t perfect or easy juggling being a single dad and work. It had taken a long time to figure out. But he’d leaned on people, and after a while, he started to feel like a version of himself again. One that still mourned the loss, and regretted his choices, but he was getting better.  Jack was too. Except, this Friday Jack went to a party at a friend's house and caught some illness that was going around. Aaron was so busy trying to find the medicine that he didn’t see that he was about to bump into someone. When the two collided, _y/n_ flinched, but composed herself quickly. So quickly that the familiar man didn’t notice it. They both said in unison, “Sorry.” Aaron straightened and _y/n_ got off of her toes. The pair looked at each other and after a beat, realized they knew each other, at least a little bit. It took a moment for _y/n_ to say, “Oh, cold brew with a shot of espresso on the side. Aaron, right?” For _y/n_, most people she interacted with were associated with some sort of coffee or tea order. _y/n_ was surprised with herself that she’d remembered the tall man’s name. She’d never seen him dressed so casually before. He was just wearing jeans and a dark green t-shirt that accentuated the muscles of his toned torso. In the mornings at six a.m., that man that she thought was called Aaron, only wore a suit and tie. The kind that was tailored just for his tall frame. The expensive material didn’t reveal as much as this outfit did. Even so, he was very attractive. Often, seeing him at the counter was the highlight of _y/n_’s morning. _y/n_ knew that sounded pathetic, but hell the guy actually smiled at her before the sun was up, and he always tipped. Being a barista wasn’t the most exciting job, but at least _y/n_ got to see him on and off during the work week. 

Aaron was desperately wracking his brains for the name of the woman who had memorized not only his coffee order but his name as well. Why couldn’t he remember it? Aaron could picture her name tag with the gold lettering embossed on the enamel pin, but the name was out of focus. Admitting defeat, he replied, “That’s me. And you are?” _y/n_ looked at Aaron and replied, “_y/n_, _l/n_.” She wasn’t disappointed that he didn’t remember her name. No one remembered her name. _y/p_ wouldn’t let her get close enough to anyone to need to remember her at all. _y/n_ told herself internally, “I’m used to it. It doesn’t hurt if you don’t care.” As much as _y/n_ wanted to believe that lie, she was hurting. Her body ached under her dark long-sleeved shirt. She hadn’t meant to make a snarky quip back at _y/p_ last night, but the remark had come unbridled, and she’d paid for it dearly. _y/n_ snapped back to the present as her most irregular, regular customer asked, “Were you trying to reach something on that top shelf? Can I grab it for you, _y/n_?” Something about the way he said her name, had _y/n_ look at him like she’d never seen Aaron before. Like she’d never seen a man before. Not one that oozed confidence even when he was just standing in a grocery store aisle. _y/n_ knew that _y/p_ would never live up to that standard, as hard as they tried, and as long as they lived. _y/n_ flinched at the very idea of the thought. The things _y/p_ would do to her if she ever thought or dared speak something like that in their partner’s presence. Aaron noticed the reflexive jerk of _y/n_’s body like she’d been hit by an invisible hand. He furrowed his brow and took a small step back. “_y/n_, are you alright?” Aaron knew that look and understood the flinching away from things. He’d done enough of it in his childhood. Suddenly, he was concerned about the woman that he saw when he was on his early morning caffeine runs. Hotch felt ashamed that he’d never paid _y/n_  much attention. However, he was paying attention now, as _y/n_ fixed her face back to normal. Back to a friendly smile that hid any physical or mental pain she might be in. _y/n_ didn’t notice Aaron profile her. Instead, she cleared her throat and said, “Yeah, um, could you grab three of those instant ice packs? The cheapest brand on the left?” Hotch nodded and didn’t even need to reach very high to grab the aforementioned items _y/n_ had requested. _y/n_ held out her basket, and he dropped them into the container. Aaron noticed but didn’t comment on the odd assortment of painkillers, gauze packs, and a single pregnancy test on the far right side of the basket. Aaron moved his eyes up quickly to not look like he was prying into her personal life. Sometimes being a profiler had its downsides, and situations where he could see things that didn’t look good were one of them. It’s not like he could just say, “Hey, _y/n_, why do you need those ice packs,” or “Hey. _y/n_ if you lifted your shirt sleeves what would I see?” He wasn’t a mandatory reporter. He wasn’t a professor, or a nurse, or a school counselor. He just had a brain that let him see things that others didn’t. Things that people like _y/n_ probably didn’t want him to see. Then again, he could be reading into the woman’s grocery choices a bit too much. He didn’t know her, at least not more than her name, and she worked at his favorite coffee shop that was closest to the Quanitco Field Office. He liked it because, on a good morning, it took him less than ten minutes to get from the coffee shop to work. 

_y/n_ looked at cold-brew-and-a-shot-of-espresso. He seemed to have gone somewhere else in his brain. She didn’t plan on standing there forever, and had to say, “Well thanks, Aaron. I’ll see you…” she hesitated and finished the sentence with, “...when I see you.” _y/n_ gave the man a little wave and walked toward the self-checkout. Hotch replied, “See you Monday, _y/n_.” It was an odd interaction, to say the least. Aaron realized he’d said, “See you Monday” like a man who worked in a bank, or finance, or some mundane job that let him keep a regular schedule, when he had the opposite of that job. He could be called into the office that moment, and he’d go because that’s what he’d signed up for. Aaron’s phone buzzing made him fish it out of his back pocket and lose his current train of thought. The text was from Jess asking if he was headed back yet. He quickly replied, “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Just picking up the medicine now.” Hotch put his phone away and scanned the kid's medicine section once more. At the end of the row, he found what he was looking for. The child-friendly gummies, he hoped, would allow Jack to relax. Aaron and his son had stayed up most of the night as Jack threw up once an hour or so. Hotch felt the tiredness of the night, and his concern for Jack deep down. Those thoughts had him forget, at the moment, the worry he had for _y/n_. As Aaron was texting and recounting last night, _y/n_ was quickly scanning her items and placing them in a _y/f/c_ reusable bag. Once the receipt was spat out of the machine, she took it, crumpled it, and tossed it in the trash by the front door. If there was one thing _y/n_ was grateful for, it was the self-checkout. There wasn’t anyone there to judge you on what you bought, unless it was alcohol, and it was quiet and quick. She saw no one, and no one saw her. Except, today had been different because she had been seen. That was a rarity. Even if it had only been a minute-long conversation with Aaron. He was a customer who was gone for days in a row with no apparent rhyme or reason, yet always came back. Always at six, and always in a suit. He was part of the group that she called, before the morning rush. That’s probably why she remembered him so well. He was distinct and unique and by far the hottest guy who graced the crowd from six a.m. to seven a.m. After seven the people came like a mob and names, orders, and faces all blurred together until the mid-afternoon lull. As _y/n_ sat in her car thinking, she realized that she didn’t have time to daydream. Especially not about a guy. She looked at the clock in her car and realized that she’d spent more time in her thoughts than she’d anticipated. “Shit” _y/n_ muttered to herself, realizing that if she drove fast, she’d have just enough time to ice the worst of her bruises and discard the ice packs in the dumpster outside her apartment before _y/p_ came home from work to notice them. Given the time crunch, _y/n_ started the engine and whisked her car out of the parking lot as safely, and quickly as she could manage. Any thoughts of Aaron were temporarily replaced with thoughts of getting to ease the aches in her body for a few minutes before another fight inevitably broke out when _y/p_ got home from work. 

As it turned out, Hotch didn’t show up to the coffee shop on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, and on Thursday it was another no show, _y/n_ really started wondering what the man did for work. She first thought was a lawyer. He looked the part with his clothes and his stern expression. There were plenty of law offices around the coffee shop, but she never saw him go into any of those buildings after he’d picked up his order from the counter. After he’d told her, “Have a good day,” and then walked out the door with long confidant strides while the bell rang. She considered the possibility of banking or finance, but from what _y/n_ knew, both of those jobs must require consistent hours in an office somewhere. But cold-brew-and-a-shot-of-espresso didn’t seem to keep any type of schedule, and he didn’t seem to be the type that worked in an office. Plus, all the bankers and finance bros she served every morning seemed glum and depressed. Aaron was intense, but he didn’t seem depressed. At least not anymore. The first time he’d come into the coffee shop she’d noticed him because he was new and it was early. He was the first customer of the day, and _y/n_ hadn’t even pulled the cold brew mix out of the fridge when he ordered one to go. As she’d explained that It would be a few minutes,  and the tall man just nodded and said, “It’s fine. I can wait.” The man’s low voice sounded deeply sad. Like he was already dead and buried. It made _y/n_ look at him fully. He had a handsome face, all jaw, and dark hooded eyes. He looked like he sounded, far away. Internally _y/n_ wondered, “Is he going through something? Has this dude slept in the last month?” Both looked true from his slightly disheveled appearance and deep bags under his eyes. At this point, _y/n_ was happily in love with a person that she’d never guessed would lay a finger on her. A person who didn’t raise their voice, threaten them, cheat, or humiliate her in public. No. she was newly in love and everything was perfect. In fact, her partner had just agreed to move in with her last night. But the man in front of her, who’d said his name was Aaron, didn’t look any like she felt. _y/n_ wanted to ask him if he was okay, but it didn’t feel right. He was just a new customer and by now a small queue was forming behind him. So instead, she’d pulled a shot of espresso for him while he waited for his cold brew.  

When Aaron heard his name, he walked over to the counter. Unless he was very behind on the coffee scene he didn’t think the small cup he was being handed was his. _y/n_ saw the look of confusion on his face, and she quickly explained, “Pulled you a shot on the house for making you wait. Hope it will tide you over.” Hotch left something in him that could be gratitude, and he murmured, “Thanks,” as he stepped back with the cup in his hands. It was the kindest thing _y/n_ could think to do for him while she took the next few orders and then started getting out the drinks including Aaron’s. Hotch had found the coffee spot because he had driven past it countless times since living in D.C. and commuting to Virginia. It had caught his eye early on because it seemed to be the only coffee place open that early. It had finally drawn him in when he wasn’t sure if he could live past the grief of losing Haley. Jack kept him going and that was enough, but he could admit he was struggling. He’d decided that doing something different, anything different, might do something for him. He wasn’t sure he could keep doing what he had been doing for the last two months. Even though he wasn’t much of an espresso person, he drank the free shot because it was nice of the barista to give it to him. Shortly after, he was given his cold brew, and he drove toward the office like he normally did. Not much changed for him in the day, except the addition of a lot of caffeine made his body feel like he was buzzing until noon. The sensation wasn’t unwelcome, at least it gave him something else to think about apart from loss. Aaron came back the next day and, just because, _y/n_ gave him another free shot of espresso. After a while, he started paying for the espresso, and as the months passed, he seemed to get better and _y/n_’s life got worse and worse and worse. _y/p_ had shown his full colors, and Aaron had worked on healing while  _y/n_ began hurting. Their paths seemed to be like those of ships in the night. Their lights were never bright enough for the other to fully notice. That was until Friday. 

Aaron had come back from a case in Arizona. It wasn’t the worst, It had been a stalker who kidnapped women who looked like the unsub’s mother due to abandonment issues. When the victims didn’t agree to play the part, the unsub wanted, they were replaced. Aaron moved into Dusk til Dawn like he always did. The bell rang as the door opened and he stood in the short line to get to the counter. He had almost forgotten about his interaction with _y/n_ at the store a little over a week ago. Jack had quickly recovered and then the case came, and time just went on like it always did,  but as he caught _y/n_’s eye, he remembered. Not only did he remember her name now, but he remembered what he’d suspected she might be going through. When he got to the counter, she asked, “The usual?” Aaron nodded as he pulled out his card. He looked over at _y/n’s hands as she wrote his name on the two cups in _y/s/hw_. He noticed the slight bruising and scratches on her knuckles. The signs that something might have happened to her were minimal, but he caught them. Aaron was about to comment something, but as he put his card back in his wallet, _y/n_’s demeanor changed in an instant. The small smile and wide eyes she gave him whenever he came in disappeared. Hotch could almost feel the person behind him shuffle on heavy feet. Hotch stopped himself from looking behind him where _y/n_’s eyes were trained. _y/n_ barely murmured, “You’re order will be out in a second.” Aaron stepped a few feet back and listened from a spot far enough away that it didn’t seem like he was snooping, but also close enough to be able to listen in on the conversation happening at the counter. He crossed his hands over his chest. He could feel the slick material of his grey suit under his arms. He heard the person in front of the register say, “Hey. Good morning, sweetheart.” Hotch looked at _y/n_’s face. It was half reverence, half fear as she replied, “Morning. What are you doing here, _y/p/n_?” In a voice laced with love but a hint of bile _y/p_ said, “Can’t a person see their girlfriend in the morning? Plus I’m in desperate need of a coffee. Make it half soy, half oat milk latte with frothed milk, vanilla, and two pumps of sugar-free syrup. And a shot on the side.” _y/n_’s partner sounded more like an order than a command. Like shouting at a caged dog. _y/n_ knew why he needed coffee. He’d broken her carafe last night throwing it at her head. He’d accused her of cheating again because a friend from high school had checked in on her. 

_y/n_ temporarily forgot all the other orders before _y/p_’s, and with a hurried, jerky movements. tried to make _y/p_’s order. If _y/p_ ever showed up to work, it meant she’d fucked up big time. Done something so big or bad that they had to come and see her before their work started, just to let her know that she was going to get it later. It was a promise. What she’d gone wrong since last night’s accusation and makeup session, _y/n_ wasn’t sure, but there was always something. y/n_ wasn’t paying attention to anything, and as she tried to steam the milk, she accidentally burned herself on the steamer. After a second, the pain circuits in her brain fired and she felt the burn, dropping the metal container holding the hot milk. The metal made a clanking sound on the floor, and a few patrons looked over at her. _y/n_ dipped behind the counter before anyone could notice the soft sob that left her. It was a cry of pain and fear. _y/n_ took the towel from her apron and wiped the floor first. She then fixed her face, got up, placed the dirty metal container in the sink, and remade the drink and espresso shot. It took her about twice as long as normal, but her hand was letting out red hot pulses every second or so. She wasn’t in the right head space to be making drinks at the moment. When the coffees were done, she moved back to the checkout where _y/p_ had firmly planted themself. In a sickeningly patronizing tone, they said, “Now that wasn’t that hard, was it _y/n_? God you always were a clutz. Anyhow, see you tonight, love.” _y/n_ raised a hand and said, “Tonight,” with a forced smile. Aaron watched as _y/p_ took one tiny swipe of her hand to rub under her eyes. The tears were too faint for him to see. _y/n_ then moved back to the cups that had piled up behind who Aaron assumed was her partner. A person who had just spoken to her in such a condescending and humiliating manner. _y/n_’s odd assortment of things at the store, the marks on her hands, and now this interaction only highlighted what Hotch assumptioned about _y/n_. When she eventually called his name for pick up, he approached the counter with care. Aaron grabbed his two cups and after _y/n_ said her normal, “Have a good day,” in a tight tone, he couldn’t help himself but say, “_y/n_ can I see your hand?” _y/n_ froze. She looked over at Aaron and pulled her injured hand to her chest with the other. Softly she replied, “It really doesn’t hurt.” Hotch could still see some of the red skin that looked painful. In the kindest tone he had, Aaron said, “It doesn’t look good, _y/n_. Do you have a first aid kit around here somewhere?” Hotch scanned behind the counter to see if there was a red box holding medical supplies nearby. _y/n_ hadn’t expected anyone to notice her hand. She especially didn’t expect it from Aaron. Without really thinking, she said, “There’s one in the staff room.” “Would you grab it for me?” Aaron asked. Much like the first time _y/n_ met Aaron, the tone of his voice had her look at him. The dark-eyed man looked concerned. It didn’t make sense. Neither did his tone. It came off as a caring suggestion. Something she hadn’t heard in a long time. _y/n_ was used to apathetic orders from her boss, Lisa, and _y/p_ disappointment in her everything. But care? She hadn’t heard or felt it in years. Aaron’s comment alone had her disoriented. To catch a moment to get back into balance, _y/n_ moved to the back room and took the first aid kit out of the cabinet. _y/n_ swallowed back whatever emotions were trying to force their way out before she stepped back into the main room. 

_y/n_ set the red box on the counter. Aaron held out his hand for her hurt one, and to his surprise, she placed it in his large palm. After a moment of looking at the burn. It didn’t seem too bad, maybe a grade-two burn at worst. After his assessment, Hotch said, “You should run that under a cool tap for a minute. I’ll see if there’s some gauze in here to cover it up. As Hotch heard the water run and rifled through the first aid kit. He pulled out a large bandband-aid a generic antiseptic cream. _y/n_ returned in a moment, drying her hands. _y/n_ didn’t know how to react to this kindness and said, “Sorry I don’t mean to hold you up. You’re always so punctual. You’ve got to be late to wherever you go at this point.” She was giving him a way out. She was giving herself a way out because _y/n_ wasn’t sure how to be in this situation. How she would feel about Aaron if he helped her. Aaron looked at her. He saw the hesitation on her face and replied, “I won’t be late, and I’ll be quick here, I promise.” Aaron sensed that _y/n_ wanted this over with as soon as possible. It didn’t give him much time to think of something to check in with her. Hotch couldn’t delay and he didn’t want to make _y/n_ more uncomfortable, so he took _y/n_’s hand back into his. He squeezed a small dot of the cream on his finger and dabbed it onto her burn. _y/n_ flinched as he touched her more deliberately. Hotch finished that part swiftly and tore open the band-aid gently pressing it over the burn, securing it on her hand. He softly dropped her hand and closed the medical kit saying, “Good as new.” Aaron recognized that he was using the tone that he did with Jack when he came home from a play date with a scrape or bruise. _y/n_ took the kit off the counter and said, “Thanks for the help.” She sounded reserved and Hotch nodded, saying, “It was nothing. Have a good day, _y/n_.” With that, Hotch took his drinks again and moved out of the shop with a weight on his shoulders. _y/n_ watched him go and wished she could have a good day, but the threat of _y/p_ hung over her. _y/n_ also wished and tried to get Aaron’s concerned face and kind words out of her head, but she wasn’t very successful at that either. 

Rossi noticed how perplexed Aaron seemed as he entered the building and moved up toward his office. The older profiler also clocked the two cups of coffee Hotch was precariously holding in one hand. Dave, who was at the railing at the top of the stairs asked Hotch as he got to the top, “You turning into Reid or something?” Aaron scoffed and replied, “I hope not. I’m too old from that kind of energy.” Rossi gave a half-smile before saying, “Well today it looks like you picked up more than a caffeine addiction.” Hotch didn’t understand and asked, “What do you mean?” Dave followed his friend to his office and said, “You look like you’re worried about something. Is Jack alright?” Hotch’s deep sigh told Rossi that he was correct. Something had happened. Aaron looked over at him with knowing eyes. Eyes that had seen too much pain and loss for one man. Hotch swallowed his sip of coffee before saying, “I just saw someone getting torn down. Put in a place I don’t think they deserve, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I’m the Chief of the BAU, one of the most revered branches in the FBI, and I see someone get hurt and I don’t know what to do about it.” Rossi leaned his arms on the desk chair opposite Aaron’s and slowly replied, “Aaron, you can’t save everyone from a bad situation.” Hotch bit the inside of his lip and replied, “But I want to. Am I losing my humanity?” Aaron often wondered after the death of Haley what he was becoming. He hoped it wasn’t something bad. Someone who didn’t care. Rossi watched this struggle and uncertainty play out on Hotch’s face and said, “I think this job can warp the way people working it see things. Pardon this reductionist analysis, but we go out and see countless victims and there’s a big bad to get and hold accountable. The scope of the evil we see is like a tsunami, and when we see a wave we don’t always know what to do. But a wave can still drown someone. That person’s no less deserving of a life jacket.” Rossi knew that he was making it sound like Aaron didn’t want to help whoever he was talking about, and knowing Aaron that was never the case. But Rossi wanted to provide some perspective before delving further into the conversation.  Dave then said, “But Aaron, Not everyone knows they're drowning either. Maybe they don’t know to ask for a life jacket.” Dave was taking a guess here. He knew Hotch well enough that if this was a person Aaron knew well or personally, he would have done something already. So most likely this was a stranger or acquaintance that he’d encountered struggling, and Hotch, being the man he was, couldn't bear to see it happen. Rossi didn’t want to press Aaron. He wasn’t the type to go into detail, so Dave just stepped forward, patted him on the shoulder, and, said, “You’re a good man, Aaron, no matter what you believe, you’re a good man.” With that Rossi stood and walked to the door to let his friend decide what to do after that. And just to lighten the mood, Dave said at the door, “Don’t drink all that coffee at once. You’ll put yourself into cardiac arrest.” 

Once Rossi was gone, Aaron moved behind his desk and sat down. He pulled out his briefcase and set to work on a floor-wide memo about a new policy on overtime. As he worked, he let Dave’s words churn in his head. By lunch, he’d decided that he’d go back to the coffee shop after work. No one had been a lifeline for him in his childhood and he wasn’t going to let it happen to someone else. Yes, he was aware that abuse happened all the time, all over the place and he couldn’t stop all of it. But he could let _y/n_ know that there were places she could go, and resources to her to get out. Something like that would have changed his life, and as it would turn out, Aaron’s willingness to step into a sensitive situation would save _y/n_’s. 

Hotch moved back to Dawn til Dusk after work. Thankfully a case hadn’t pulled the team away. It was just after five thirty and the shop would close in a half hour. He’d never been there in the afternoon. The place took on a more subdued quality. There wasn’t the anxiety, the day was all ahead of me energy that the early morning held. As Aaron stepped inside, there was no one to greet him. Not _y/n_ with her smile that he’d grown used to when he stepped in the door or any customers either. For a second Aaron realized that he might be very silly because maybe _y/n_ didn’t work the afternoon shift and when someone came to out of the backroom or storage room, it would be a total stranger. Aaron assumed that whoever was still in the shop would come out of the staff room because the door stood ajar. He couldn’t see into the room, from where he was standing, but a loud thump had him snap his head to the side quickly. The sound hadn’t come from inside the room, but somewhere just beyond it. The same sound came again, and whatever it was, Aaron didn’t like it. Hotch moved to the side enough to see through the open door which led to another door with a window that looked out onto the alley behind the coffee shop. At first, it just looked like a small corridor that ran out to the street beyond the far side of the building. It seemed quiet until a body was pushed harshly to the ground and into Aaron’s view. Hotch realized that it was _y/n_ from her outfit from that morning. In a split second, Hotch was running through the backroom and out the door as the person who had stood behind him this morning came into view and began viciously kicking _y/n_ in the side. 

_y/n_ curled into a ball on the pavement, choking for air. When _y/p_ came back again on the same day and said they needed to talk, she tried to swallow any fear she had. _y/n_ said they could talk in the back room, but _y/p_ insisted they go outside. That had been her fatal flaw. She didn’t know how to say no to them anymore and even though she was still on the clock, she’d let him into the small space behind the shop. Once the door was closed, _y/p_ had pounced. They pinned _y/n_ against the wall, choking her with such force that she couldn’t get a word out. When _y/n_ was sure she’d pass out from the lack of oxygen, _y/p_ threw her to the ground so hard she felt stunned. When _y/n_ had come to her senses, she tried to crawl away from the pain in her body and the threat of passing out. She still hadn’t fully regained her breath and the sides of her vision blurred at the edges. _y/p_ didn’t let _y/n_ crawl more than a few paces before grabbing her shirt and dragging her toward the dumpster on the opposite wall of the alley. _y/n_ groaned as the pain tore up her body. _y/n_ could feel her shirt riding up due to the rough surface of the concrete. _y/p_ tried for the first time to fight back. To get away, but _y/p_ pushed _y/n_ up to the edge of the dumpster and kicked her in the groin. They crouched down while _y/n_ covered her face and neck. _y/n_ said, “Did you think you could get on birth control and I wouldn’t know. Did you think I wouldn’t know?” _y/n_ shook her head and attempted to explain, but _y/n_ stopped trying when she gasped in pain. _y/n_ had pinner _y/d/a_ under a thick steel boot. The sickening crack that came shortly after had _y/n_ turn to the side and vomit in pain. When she looked up at _y/p_’s face, she knew this was how it was going to end. For some fucking pills. _y/p_ moved in again, pressing their hands to _y/n_ neck, cutting off the air she needed; _y/n_ spluttered fighting for life.However, the pressure was suddenly gone from her arm, neck, and everywhere else. Nothing was making much sense in _y/n_’s pounding head. She could only focus on trying to breathe. 

It took Aaron five long strides to get outside and reach _y/n_ and her assailant. Hotch grabbed _y/p_ around the middle and pulled them off _y/n_. Hotch rolled with the person who trashed and screamed, “Let GO OF ME. Get off me.” Hotch grunted and tried to hold the person still. He found it ironic that _y/n_ was so against being manhandled with what he’d just done to _y/n_. From the anger, the person beneath Hotch showed, Aaron assumed it wasn’t the first time it had been this bad. Rage like that just didn’t start from nowhere, It grew and grew until it became uncontrollable. Aaron knew monsters were bred not born. Hotch caught his breath and said, “Stay still for your own sake. Move and I’ll knock your light out.” _y/p_ spat and said, It’s none of your business.” Aaron tightened his hold and said, “As a federal agent when I see someone get assaulted it suddenly is my business.” _y/n_ stilled for a second but then tried to use all their strength to shove Aaron away. Hotch rocked back on his hip and _y/p_  swung at him. Aaron took the brunt of the blow in his sternum. As big as _y/n_’s partner was, the hit wasn’t strong. It hardly hurt. Hotch was done. He had no place of remorse for abusers and he, unlike the person struggling below him, aimed one solid punch at the dude’s face. Maybe _y/n_ wasn’t fully out, but they were stunned enough to slump back on the ground with a groan. Hotch let them go and moved over to _y/n_ who was coming back to herself. Aaron dropped down on his knees next to _y/n_. The lower half of her body was in a murky puddle at the foot of the dumpster and their upper body leaned against the refuse bin. Aaron didn’t notice as his favorite trousers got soaked in the same murky puddle. He pulled out his phone and dialed 9-1-1. The operator answered asking, “9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?” Aaron cleared his throat and replied, “There’s been an attack on Maddison and Smith. Fourth block down from the stop sign. At the back of Dawn til Dusk. I need medical and police services.” Hotch heard the operator typing in the information before asking, “Are you or anyone in immediate danger? Are you the one that was attacked?” Hotch replied quickly, “No, it was someone else.” He took a second to see that _y/n_’s partner was still out of it and added, “There’s no immediate danger.” The woman on the other end of the line said, “Thank you for the information. Can you provide your name and phone number?” At this stage, Hotch was multitasking. He was carefully looking over _y/n_ who was starting to stir. He held a hand up to still her movements and turned his head toward the phone on the ground saying, “Agent Aaron Hotchner, the number’s 982-289-7765.” After a second, the woman on the phone said, “Thank you, Agent Hotchner, please stay on the line, medical and police services are on their way.” Hotch nodded minutely and when he looked back at _y/n_, she was staring at him with wide eyes. She had registered who he was now and heard his conversation in the back part of her head that wasn't screaming in pain. _y/n_ whispered, “Where’s _y/n_?” The weak attempt at speaking had her cough harshly into her chest, and Aaron leaned closer saying, “Don’t worry about them, _y/n_. Just stay still and try and relax. If you can take small breaths, it might help.” _y/n_ nodded and tried to do as he said. 

_y/n_ watched as Aaron pulled out another phone and called someone else. She thought she heard the name, Morgan somewhere and the name of the shop, but for a man of Aaron’s stature and power, he spoke with surprising softness. As she had seen Hotch take down _y/p_ there seemed to be an anger she hadn’t imagined she’d ever see from him. But now he just looked worried for her. Like he had looked worried at the store. His emotions had turned on a dime. She was used to that with _y/p_. But that was from a constant disappointment to a visceral rage. Aaron’s were different. His seemed to shift from anger to firm protection. _y/n_ didn’t know what to make of it. Didn’t know what to make of her life anymore. She hadn’t expected to live a few minutes ago and now time stretched out before her like nothing she’d ever seen before. It was beautiful and horrifying at the same time. _y/n_ couldn’t think about that though. Not now. Instead, she just did as the man beside her suggested, relax and breathe. That was managable at least. Hotch stayed by her, checking every minute or so to make sure _y/p_ stayed put. Aaron hadn’t even put fifty percent of his strength into his punch, but the slumped body on the ground didn’t move. At least until the police showed up five minutes later and hauled them into a cruiser. _y/n_ suddenly got their energy back and bellowed that they had been attacked by Aaron. _y/n_’s bloody face and broken arm plus Hotch’s badge and account of the story had the officers removed _y/p_ from the scene shortly after. The paramedics showed up at the same time as the officers and started to treat _y/n_. Hotch gave his side of things and tried to listen in on _y/n_’s conversation at the same time. The EMT finished his assessment and asked, “Is your vision blurred? How’s your breathing?” _y/n_ softly replied, “I can see okay. My neck hurts, but I can breathe okay. But my arm, it really, really hurts.” The EMT nodded and said, “It looks like it’s broken. My colleague is going to bring the stretcher around the building now. Once you’re in the ambulance we can get you some pain medication, okay?” _y/n_ nodded and the paramedic asked one last question, “Is there someone we can call for you? A family member or friend?” Hotch watched as _y/n_ shook her head no. She looked incredibly sad and lonely in the moment and it pulled at his insides so much they ached because he knew exactly what that felt like. To feel alone in the world. Hotch stepped forward and said, “I’ll stay with her. Which hospital are you taking her to?” The EMT stood and made room for the gurney along with Aaron. The man replied, “Grand Gen on 45th.” Hotch nodded and watched as _y/n_ got loaded onto the stretcher. As she was taken toward the ambulance Aaron walked beside her and said, “I’ll be at the hospital okay. If you need anything just ask for me, alright?” _y/n_ gave a small nod, thankful that anyone was going to be there for her. 

Aaron spent the next few hours talking to the police and waiting in the hospital for an update. _y/n_ called him in before the doctor came to tell her what was wrong with her. _y/n_ even though she didn’t know the man who had saved her well, was the closest thing she had to a friend in town, and she didn’t want to be alone when she found out the extent of all what was wrong with her. Doctor James was compassionate as he detailed her minor concussion, broken arm, and deep bruises on her body. He detailed a care plan and her need for at least a week of rest. _y/n_ looked at the medical professional and asked, “Can I work after that?” James pursed his lips and replied, “I wouldn’t recommend it. You’ll need to come in for a check-up next week and we can talk about that then. But for now, I need you to rest.” _y/n_ mouthed okay, trying to think about how to tell Lisa that she wasn’t going to be at work for probably over a week. Lisa had fired much of the staff last year and was a chronic, didn’t show up to work even though she owned the coffee shop. _y/n_ had ended up picking up the slack. The doctor looked over _y/n_’s chart and wrote down the pain medications he was going to prescribe her. He looked up from the clipboard and said, “I’ll schedule your release for an hour. I just want to ensure you’re not confused or don’t have any reactions to the medications we gave you. There are some pretty strong ones and not everyone’s body takes to them well. It’s not safe for you to drive, so you’ll need to call someone to get you. Does anyone come to mind?” No one came to mind. If anything came up, she always called _y/p_, but she wouldn’t be doing that anymore. The realization seemed overwhelming. Everything in her life felt overwhelming right now. Hotch stepped forward and said gently, “I can take you home, _y/n_. If you’re comfortable with that. Or I can get you a cab?” _y/n_ looked over to him and said, “You’d do that?” Hotch nodded and reassuringly replied, “Yes. Of course.” Hearing someone so vulnerable sound so desperate only made Aaron want to look out for _y/n_ more. The doctor derailed that train of thought and said, “Well good. Can you go and speak to the charge nurse at the counter, just so we have your information?” Aaron nodded and moved out of the room. After he’d provided the details the hospital needed, he got a call from Morgan. Hotch answered, “Derek, what do you have?” Morgan replied, “I asked Garcia to look up the dude, they have a record as long as my arm. Assault and battery, resisting arrest, DUI’s. After this, I don’t think they’ll be bothering anyone for a while. It was still a bad situation. The cops told me about the details. How’d you know it was going to happen.” Aaron sighed and replied, “I didn’t really. I had my assumptions but it was just a gut feeling I guess.” Derek hummed and said, “Well it’s good you were there. Things could have gone differently.” That was true, but it didn’t stop Aaron from wishing he’d noticed earlier. After asking Morgan to have Rossi pick Jack up from school and watch after his son for a few hours, Aaron ended the call. Around fifty minutes later, _y/n_ was released and Aaron pulled his car up to the front of the hospital. A nurse helped her into the driver’s side of his car. It was an awkward ride as he asked her for her address and he plugged it into his phone. As Aaron drove there was a silence that neither knew how to fill. 

_y/n_ didn’t know how to thank Aaron for saving her life when, up until that afternoon, he’d only been someone to make her mornings a little brighter. And Aaron didn’t know how to comfort a woman who had helped him heal in a small way many months ago. Finally, Aaron just said, “I’m sorry, _y/n_” while keeping his eyes on the road. _y/n_ looked over at him not understanding. She replied, “Why are you sorry, Aaron? You saved my life today, spent four hours in a hospital, and are using your car to take me home. You don’t even know me and you’re doing all of this” Hotch shifted his eyes to _y/n_ and back to the road as he said, “But I saw you. What was happening a few weeks back and I didn’t say anything. I didn’t ask if you needed help. It’s my job to help people. To keep them safe, and I didn’t do that.” _y/n_ pulled her bottom lip into her mouth for a second before responding. When she found out that Aaron was in the FBI while he was speaking to the police, things seemed to make more sense about him. But _y/n_ didn’t understand why he felt bad. She said, “Aaron, lots of people saw. You’re the first person to have ever done anything about it, and it saved my life. I won’t ever be able to pay you back for that, or the kindness you showed me every morning you come in.” _y/n_ stopped herself from saying that he’d given her something to live for. But seeing him slowly get happier had kept her going over the long months when things had gone from bad to worse. She knew that at least one person wasn’t suffering anymore. Hotch’s soft response of, “You don’t have to thank me, ever.” The conversation stopped there as they reached _y/n_’s apartment. Hotch pulled out his card and scribbled his number on the back saying, “Call or text me if you need anything.” _y/n_ nodded, took the card, and slowly walked to her door to enter an empty home. 

_y/n_ hadn’t expected to need to call Aaron Hotchner. But she also hadn’t expected it to be so hard to be alone, to wake in cold sweats every morning. She didn’t think showering alone would be as hard even though showering with _y/e/p_ always ended in fights. _y/n_ knew she had to talk to someone, and the only someone she could think of had been Aaron. So she called him on a Thursday night and he’d picked up on the first ring with, “This is Hotchner.” _y/n_ wasn’t even sure what she was going to say, but finally choked out, “Umm, this is _y/n_, _l/n_, from last week.” There was a pause as Aaron’s synapses fired and he said, “Yes, _y/n_. Is something the matter? Do you need something?” The was a soft shuffling sound on _y/n_ side before she replied, “Kind of. Can we, talk sometime? If you have time?” Hotch blinked a few times before saying, “Sure. Do you want to talk now or later?” _y/n_ who half hadn’t expected Aaron to pick up and fully wasn’t sure what she even wanted to say, said, “Later. Maybe Saturday?” Hotch agreed and said, “Saturday works. I’ll have to bring my son. Would meeting at a park be okay? Jack, my boy could play and we’d have an hour to talk?” _y/n_ hadn’t known Hotch was a father. “Of course, you don’t idiot. You formally met him last week. Can you read minds now or something?” _y/n_ pinched the bridge of her nose and stifled a sigh at her thoughts. Instead, she said, “That works for me. Is there a time and a park that works for you?” They made their meeting plan, and when _y/n_ hung up, she felt oddly comforted that Aaron was a father. The role fit him in some way that she couldn’t fully understand yet. 

That Saturday at Lincoln Grove Park, _y/n_ and Hotch leaned against the rail. _y/n_ looked at the flock of kids on the playground and asked, “Which one is your son?” Hotch smiled and pointed out Jack saying, “The one in the grey beanie and Power Rangers shirt.” _y/n_ spotted the little boy going down the slide and smiled saying, “He’s cute.” Aaron smiled and said, “As his father, I have to agree.” He took a breath and moved his gaze from his son to _y/n_. She looked at him as he asked, “What’s the matter, _y/n_? Are you okay?” Hotch realized that he could have, should have said those words to her when he’d helped her at the store, but it was too late for that now. All he could do was ask them in the present, and be there for whatever answer _y/n_ gave. _y/n_ had considered this question beforehand and replied, “After the first day I thought it was going to be easy. I thought I was going to be happy and want to do things and live life again.” _y/n_ hesitated and Aaron’s eyes softened. He’d seen and experienced enough trauma to know how hard that sudden kind of change was. You didn’t just go from sad to happy overnight, or scared to empowered either. He gave _y/n_ space to finish he thought, and after a moment she did, saying, “But when I wake up and the other side of the bed is empty, I panic. I wonder where _y/e/p_ is and how the fight is to be once it comes. And when I go to the store, I get the things they liked because I liked them too. _ye//p_’s still everywhere even though they’re sitting in a jail cell right now.” It all sounded pathetic to _y/n_ and she continued, “Am I an idiot for falling for someone like that? I really thought they loved me until they hurt me. And at that point, I loved them too much to see past it.” Feeling ashamed, _y/n_ put her head in her hands, not even sure why she was saying this stuff to Aaron. Hotch took a step forward and said her name, soft and melodically. _y/n_ raised her head and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. He put a hand on her shoulder and replied, “You’re not stupid, _y/n_. Some people are just good fakes. They let you see what you want until you think you know them. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Good people don’t have to hide what they are.” Aaron took a pause and felt _y/n_ lean into his touch a bit. He wondered when the last time was that _y/n_ had been offered comfort without it coming at a price. Hotch chose his next words carefully, as he said, “I can’t speak for you _y/n_. But I’ve felt a lot of pain before. Some I didn’t think I was going to make it through. But in time, things got better for me. Small things changed first, and then bigger and bigger things. And finally, I felt like I could breathe again. Like I was a human deserving of love. I had to work for it, but it was worth it. I hope you can find that too, _y/n_. I’d be happy to be there for you if you want to try.” _y/n_’s tears were falling now, and she nodded her head yes. For the first time since she’d been free of _y/e/p_, she wanted to try. 

As _y/n_ and Aaron stood at the edge of the playground, talking and finally getting to know each other after months of almost being friends, it seemed that perhaps they weren't destined to move past each other without ever knowing the other existed. Perhaps they had both been lighthouses on opposite shores trying to save strangers, but now their warm beams were fully on each other. Shining the way to safe passage. And when Aaron saw the hint of a real smile, not one masked by pain or fear on _y/n_’s face, he thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

______________________________________________________________

Tag List: @criminalskies @silk-spun @tgskitten @geminitapestry

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[void-chara]

@mcytblrholidayexchange gift for @irrealisms !! you had lots of prompt ideas for writing, but not for art, so i hope you're happy with eclipse federation misery and agony compilation, plus song lyrics

lyric credits: Temporary - Chase Petra / Stranger - The Mechanisms / Easier - The Crane Wives (appears four times) / Two Birds - Regina Spektor / Little Soldiers - The Crane Wives (appears twice) / Heretic Pride - The Mountain Goats

feel free to ask if you want me to adjust some text to make it more readable or something, i think it looks fine but i know different peoples eyes and devices are different, and if i had more time i would definitely have spent more time messing with the colors on everything

speaking. of time. im really sorry i took so long ._. i kind of suck at estimating how long projects will take and how much time i have. thanks for being so patient!!

oh, also, some lyrics and drawings have story reasons for being grouped together, and some went where they looked good. uh. ideally id make sure everything had reason for its location, but this is one area where i did correctly estimate my time, instead of getting stuck in the planning phase.

also in the process of typing all this ive already gone back twice to change stuff in the images and re-add them to the post lol

OH also!! the part where vitalasy jumps off to his death! is as far as i can tell NOT canon accurate!! all the footage shows him jumping off the prison, since thats where he respawns. i didnt think to check this until after id already drawn most of the stuff, and already had the prison drawn, and i didnt want to reorganize the drawing. im telling myself that we only see a few of the later deaths and so theoretically the first one could have been jumping off a grassy ledge somewhere but its still bothering me and i needed to mention it.

anyway yeah really hope you like it i tried some new stuff with this one im not sure how well it turned out and thanks again for being so patient!!

EDITING TO ADD SOME MORE WORDS!!! i love talking about my art! so first, all the text on signs and stuff i did go back and look at videos and vods to make sure was entirely accurate, and i wrote all the words entirely by myself. for the lyrics and other text(death message and DELIVERANCE), i used a text tool first to make sure the words would be neat and where i needed them, and then traced over that on a new layer and deleted the original text layer. my handwritting fucking sucks always no matter what, this was a very necessary step. also! this is officially the first thing i have drawn entirely on my phone, rather than on my ipad like i used to do! also i dont use a stylus of any type i just draw with my finger lol.

[heyitsspiders]

Lucifer x Transmasc! Reader - Falling for the Fallen Angel - Chapter 10

Preening

Lucifer teaches you how to preen his wings! And nothing else! Totally!

a/n: this is the last chapter so as usual, i hope yall enjoy and i hope my silly little fic was fun to read.

“However, I do need to make dinner,” You looked over Lucifer’s six ivory to blood red wings. They were covered in what looked like quills you’d see on a hedgehog as well as bald spots, “and I have a feeling this might take too long to do it before.”

Lucifer rubbed the back of his neck as he chuckled nervously, avoiding eye contact, “Yeah, It’s uh- It’s been awhile.” It was hard to tell but it looked like his already puffy and red cheeks darkened in color a bit from embarrassment. 

“I can tell,” You laughed, setting a hand on his shoulder.

Before you could gaze over them any longer, the six disheveled wings slipped back into Lucifer’s back. How he did that made no sense to you. Where did they go? Were they just hanging out with his skeleton? Maybe you’d ask later but for now you got up and dusted yourself off. Apparently, unkempt wings are very dusty.

“Do you wanna come with?” You asked softly as you looked over him.  

Lucifer hesitated and mulled over his options, a knuckle held up to his mouth. A smile crept over his face as he looked back at you, which was refreshing to see after watching him sob.

 “What if,” he began, drawing out the ‘fuh’ sound, “I made dinner for you so you could start on preening. And so no one sees me like this.” He added the last bit quietly.

You laughed softly, “You’re adorable. Okay, that works.” You offered your hand to him.

He stared at your hand for a few seconds before taking it and standing up. He snapped his fingers and a golden ring appeared beside the two of you. When you looked through you could see the dining room, “Here, I want to avoid as many people as possible.”

Lucifer led you through the portal, soon closing as both your feet landed on the smooth wood of the room. You blinked several times as your eyes adjusted to the new bright lights. When your eyes stopped tearing up you looked to Lucifer, who had apparently been wearing duck pajamas this entire time. Oh my god they were adorable. They were a matching set, both fuzzy and a light blue covered in a duck pattern. It took everything in you to not comment on them but you didn’t really need to as your big smile said enough for Lucifer to avert his eyes, blushing. You softly chuckled and checked the time again. 

“Yeah, okay, this is a good time for dinner. What do you plan on making?” You asked curiously as you watched Lucifer wave his hand, golden magic spilling from his fingertips and dashing to the table. You watched in awe once more as the magic crashed into the table but instead of destroying it was made neat with several dishes atop. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over how cool that is,” you comment, the delicious scent of sirloin roast grazing your nose. 

Lucifer chuckled as he put his hands on his hips, puffing out his chest a bit. He looked so proud of himself. You placed a kiss on his cheek before turning to the doors, leaning out and announcing the completion of dinner. Not even two seconds after the words left your lips you were pulled through another portal and landed back in Lucifer’s messy, duck-filled room. You placed a hand on your head and closed your eyes as your head spun. Portal hopping that quickly was something you were not used to.

You could hear the bed groan as Lucifer climbed on and rustled the sheets. You opened your eyes and looked at him as you walked over, he was back in his blanket-pillow nest with his wings out. Lucifer put his hands together before gracefully moving them apart, yellow sparkles glowing before dying away to show a replica of a wing with more of the quill looking things on it.

“Okay, because I don’t want to deal with the pain of you accidentally breaking the sheath of a blood feather, I’m going to demonstrate here.” You had no idea what any of those words meant – a bit horrified at the thought of breaking a ‘blood feather’ because that sounded not good and a little scary – but you sat beside him nonetheless. Curled up next to him, you watched attentively. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt your boyfriend and apparently have him bleed everywhere.

Lucifer pointed to one of the weird ass feathers, “This is a ‘pin feather’, it’s a keratin sheath that protects the feathers as they grow and develop.” He explained. His claws pointed to a different pin feather, “This one is not done developing, you can tell by its darker color compared to the other ones.” 

You mentally took note of all of this as he pinched a more lightly colored sheath in between his fingertips, “These are smaller than mine but the process is still the same. You just pinch and roll it between your fingers until it slides off.” As he spoke he did just that, the pale covering slipping off. 

He offered you the replica and you took it, the fake feathers felt soft but synthetic in your hands. “Give it a shot,” He smiled.

Your hands nervously shifted through the many feathers until your fingertips grazed the hard shell of a developing feather. You looked at it, it was a pale white color. Those were good to take off right? You pinched it and gently rolled it between your fingers until it effortlessly slid off. You looked to Lucifer, who was smiling widely at you.

“Good job!” Despite watching your victory he still seemed a bit hesitant to turn around and set you loose on his fragile feathers, which was fair. “Oh!” He exclaimed before flicking his wrist, a spray bottle materializing in his dark hands before handing it to you, “Here, feathers get really dusty and before preening it's good to mist them.”

You took the cool plastic in your hands as Lucifer gulped and turned around. He took a deep breath and tugged his fuzzy sweater off, which wasn’t needed as his wings were already on full display but hey, you weren’t complaining. You got to stare at his smooth, pale skin and you restrained yourself from running your hands along his back and feeling the warmth of him under your hands. You went to reach out a careful hand before you remembered the weight in your grip. 

Ah right. You had to spray his wings first. You lifted the bottle up and pulled the plastic trigger as you moved along his wings. As you misted his wings your hands had the pleasure of feeling his soft feathers, well, the ones that were fully developed and weren’t trapped in what looked like a Saw trap for caterpillars. 

Once you figured you had put enough water – his wings looked like  the aftermath of bathing a cat, feathers bunching and separating in weird places – you set the spray bottle down on the bedside table. You turned back to the mess of feathers that lay before you and gently rested your hands on the base of one of the top wings, you could feel Lucifer shudder under your touch. You carefully maneuvered your fingers to a row of pale pin feathers. Being the most gentle you could be, you held the pin feather in between your thumb and pointer finger, rolling it back and forth. These pin feathers were much larger than the one you had practiced on, which made sense considering Lucifer’s wings were fuckin’ huge. 

After a few seconds of working it between your fingers, the keratin sheath slid off, revealing a beautiful ivory feather in its wake. And that’s how it went for a couple of hours as you worked your way through the maze of pin feathers that littered Lucifer’s wings. When you were about half way done on the fifth wing you finally decided to ask a question that had been lingering in your mind when you started.

“Hey, darling?” You ask, your fingers still flowing through his feathers, so soft you could swear he was still an angel. 

“Hm?” Lucifer hummed, a tired smile on his face as he turned his head to try to see you.

“Why are there so many spots that are featherless?” You really hoped that wasn’t a dumb question. 

Lucifer’s smile faltered and you could feel his muscles tense. He coughed like he was choking before covering it by laughing, “Ha ha- uh- what?” 

You tilted your head curiously and reasked your question, “There are spots without feathers, why?”

“Well- uhm- that’s uh- my fault?” He laughed nervously, now no longer trying to look at you.

“What does that mean?”

“Uhh- so-” He cleared his throat. “Sometimes when I get anxious or uh, stressed I maybe pluckoutmyfeathers.” Lucifer sped through the last bit, flashing you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

It took a good moment for your brain to process what he said. “What? Why- Why would you do that? Doesn’t that hurt??” You were baffled.

Lucifer waved his hand dismissively, which was hard for you to see considering you were behind him, almost like it was more for him than you, “Oh yeah, of course it does! But y’know it- it’s fine! Really, no need to worry, my love.”

You shifted so you could make eye contact with him but he no longer wanted to meet your eyes. You crawled around and sat in front of him. You grabbed his chin with a dusty hand, looking at him with soft eyes. 

“Darling, it’s okay, I get it. I’m not condoning your actions but I get it,” You spoke gently. “I know healthy coping mechanisms aren’t something everyone has. Hell! I’m still trying to figure out some, but I’ll always be here for you, okay?”

Lucifer smiled back at you, his eyes shiny before he blinked away any tears that were threatening to fall. He placed a hand on yours and leaned into your touch, “Thank you, my apple pie.”

You kissed his soft lips before smiling at him, “Of course.”

You moved your hand from his face and went back to behind him, “Now, let’s finish this.”

Lucifer hummed as you went back to working, the pile of pin feathers on the bed and floor growing with each passing minute. Not to mention all the fucking dust everywhere, your hands especially being covered – they looked more white than blue at this point. 

As the last pin feather dropped onto the sheets you sighed. Finally. It had been like, a million years since you started. Though, other than the aching that had started in your hands, you didn’t really mind. It felt like you and Lucifer were even closer than you two had been before. Like this was a secret test and you passed. 

Lucifer flexed out his now neat wings – other than the bald patches – and he hummed contently, “That feels so much better!”

He shook himself before returning his wings to lay under his skin. He quickly turned himself to meet your eyes, a big smile on his face as he brought you into an embrace. You quickly returned the hug and finally allowed your hands to roam over his back, the heat of his body humming under your touch as your fingers smoothly slid over his spine. Lucifer shuddered, tightening his grip on you before planting a gentle kiss on your neck.

“I love you,” He mumbled into your skin, which quickly heated up.

“I love you too, darling,” You replied as calmly as you could. You lowered your head so your chin rested on his shoulder, taking in the sweet honey apple scent that followed him everywhere. God, you could stay in his embrace all day.

Lucifer’s hands seemed to fidget before he cleared his throat and pulled away from you. You frowned, instantly missing the warmth.

He put on a confident smile as he spoke, “I have a question to ask.” Before you could say anything he added “- but you have to close your eyes.”

You looked at him confusedly before agreeing, closing your eyes. Your ears perked as you followed the sound of Lucifer getting up, rustling through a drawer and then walking behind you.

“Okay, open your eyes- oh, and turn around.” 

You did as you were told, opening your eyes and turning around to see Lucifer standing there, his hands behind his back. “What’d you want to ask?”

Lucifer took a deep breath before falling to one knee and presenting a box in front of you. You gasped as he opened it and presented a beautiful ring sitting inside, “Will you do the pleasure of marrying me?” He looked up at you with a nervous grin.

You blinked several times as you stared at the ring, mouth agape. Lucifer opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off by smashing your lips onto his and wrapping your arms around him. His eyes widened before fluttering closed and pulling you closer to him. After a few minutes you pulled away, both of you heavily panting.

“Is-” He gasped for air, “Is that a yes?” Lucifer laughed.

You nodded, “Yes, I’d love to marry you.”

Lucifer’s eyes welled with tears for the third time this night as he hugged you tightly, “I love you so much my love- I can’t wait to spend the rest of eternity with you.”

You couldn’t help but sniffle a bit as well, “I love you too and I’m so happy you are the one I get to spend my afterlife with.”

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aaaaaaaaaand thats it! i'm not sure this ending is all i wanted it to be but y'know, i was starting to run out of motivation to write and i'd rather finish it now than have it abandoned. don't worry though! i do plan on writing oneshots on anything i can think of so i hope y'all enjoy those too.

thank you all for reading! :D

[mopeyy]

Forgotten Love (Last Part)

Nor x Fem Na'vi Reader

angst/fluff

Summary: Reader is in love with Nor, but he's still in love with her dead sister.

Inspired by this post!!

You and Nor use to speak everyday, but now you've went a full week without talking. After your confession there was just no point in speaking to him. You knew he was going to reject you and you didn't need to hear him say it. It would hurt too much. Of course you missed talking to him, he's your best friend. But you couldn't look at him knowing that he didn't feel the same.

He hadn't made any attempt to speak to you. Mostly just looking at you from the corner of his eye. Or sharing a forced smile when you passed one another. It was exhausting really, but neither of you tried to fix it.

--------------------------

You had recently took down a big RDA drilling facility, reducing the pollution percentage by a significant amount. So tonight the resistance was celebrating. The headquarters were filled with colorful party decorations and dancing music. You knew the humans were having a good time, but it didn't really feel like you needed to be there. You turnt to leave before hearing someone calling your name. "Y/n! y/n!" it was Teylan. He came running over to you, Cleary excited about the party. "Where do you think your going? this party is all about you." He smiled, nervously adjusting the cap on his head. "Im just going out to get some air Teylan. Ill be back in soon." You promised. He exaggerated a long sigh and told you to come back soon as he walked away. You softly shook your head and laughed at teylans antics.

You walked outside and found yourself sitting at a little pond that leads towards the waterfall. it was a nice kind of quiet, the only noise being the muffled music from the party. It was dark, allowing you to see all the stars in the sky. When you were in the RDA they didn't let you and the others outside much. they were scared that if you saw what was out there it would tempt you all to run away. After escaping the RDA you were never anywhere but outside. You stared at the pond in front of you, watching how the water would ripple when a little fish swam by. You smiled, dipping your legs into the pond for the cool relief the water gave you. You couldn't believe the RDA had kept this world from you for 15 years.

After a while of sitting there you heard foot steps behind you. You didn't turn around, you already knew who it was. "Done with the party?" Nor took a seat beside you and raised his brows in question. You only took a quick glance at him before turning your attention back to the water. "Yea, it's kinda hard to dance with all the tiny people around." you smiled, turning to look at him. He was already looking at you. He laughed and shook his head, "I guess it wasn't the best idea to put Na'vi and people into one room." He joked. Silence overtook you as neither of you knew what to say. You played with your hands trying to distract yourself from the awkward atmosphere. Nor cleared his throat to get your attention, "Listen y/n I...about what happened that night-" you cut him off, "Nor I already know what your gonna say and its just going to hurt more if I hear it so please don't." He shook his head and placed a gentle hand on your arm. "You don't know what im going to say, so please just...listen." he pleaded.

You nodded and he slid his hand off your arm. "I was thinking about everything and I wanted to apologize. Ive always admired Aha'ri and her bravery, and I may have had a small crush on her when we were kids. But that's all it was, a childish crush. That night when you found me, I was scared. Scared of how new everything is. I think I was talking about her because I wish I had some of that bravery too. Ive been thinking about what you said and you're right. You have always been there for me and I was too blind to see it." He saw how your attention was focused on the sky. He put his hand on your chin, turning you to face him. His green eyes piercing, as if they could see right through you. "If you'll let me, id like to be there for you too."

Your ears twitched, revealing the emotion you were trying so hard to hide. You had thought that he came out here to reject you, but it was the complete opposite. You wanted him to feel the same way about you, but you had to make sure it was for the right reasons. You tilted your head up at him and opened your mouth to speak, "Nor, I don't just want to be a reminder of my sister. I want you to want me, not just be with me because you can't have her."

He shook his head, his eyes saddening at your worries. "y/n believe me, that is not it at all. I want you. I want your smile, your laughter, your humor, your kindness, your beauty. You. Not anybody else." He reassured you.

You smiled at him, letting out a soft laugh. "Well then you can have me." He smiled at this and leaned in as your lips met. You had never thought things would end this way but you didn't mind as the kiss deepened and your hands combed through his hair. You knew now that everything would be alright.

Tagslist!

@avatar-of-envy-levi

[xxwelxx]

Can I request wxs at the beach!!

ANON I AM SO SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG

I hope u can accept WxS Alien Beach Wear as an apology and fulfillment of this request ;_;

(More under cut)

At first I tried a normal WxS at the beach, but for the LIFE of me I couldn’t do it, I still don’t know why. Maybe it was art block or smth. Still I couldn’t do it. THEN a few days I don’t know what possessed me and I was like “what if I drew alien wxs at the beach hahahahaha how hard can that be” suddenly my whole world was refilled with color and I finally had a clear vision of something I could do for this request.

Unfortunately that meant I needed to not only create spacey beach wear, but also I HAD to think of how a beach in outer space would look like for jelly aliens. (No one but myself is holding me to this standard)

This is where I must regrettably come to you a little empty handed, as I still have not fully figured out the logistics of how I’d want a space beach to look and interact with any characters I choose to put in it, let alone something I am able to DRAW. LIKE WHAT DOES A PALM TREE LOOK LIKE IN SPACE ?!?

I have a few ideas of what I’m aiming for, but there’s truly so many sparkles you can add to something in attempt to fix it before realizing there’s a lot more thinking that needs to go into this 🥀🥀

To what I did finish.. I didn’t think it would take this long either. Coming up with all the outfit ideas took like an hour. Actually drawing them and adjusting them to my liking took a couple more days. I breached a hundred layers on this canvas when my usual is around 50 layers on the heavier side. Working with transparency is a little tough because of that. I also had so much trouble with the anatomy for some reason n I still feel like some of the designs looked better in the sketches, maybe coz I’m not used to making bases or smth but WHATEVER I did it and it’s done.

That being said, I spent a lot of brain power on this and idk if it’s likely I’ll revisit them for a whileee. So if anyone else sees this and is interested in drawing them in these outfits or writing or anything, you can do so without asking (but do show me please I would sob if you did it would make me so so happy)

This wasn’t a complete waste for me though, as I’ve been thinking of exploring what they’d be like as aliens so I could create smth either by drawing or dipping my toes into writing.

Whatever the case, I want to thank you for sending me a request, it meant a lot to me. I like feeling that the art I spend time on is being seen by someone. Much love 💖💖

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Hiiiii! Can I request Eyeless Jack who’s been redeemed and back to normal by angel s/o who is like benevolent like Goddess Madoka Kaname? I’m sure EJ deserves better, and this is wholesome!

Aaaah!! Another very creative ask!! Today is my lucky day <33

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Redeemed!Jack x Angel!reader

Jack came to terms with his newfound demon transformation fairly quickly

Don't get me wrong, he was very depressed for a year or so, knowing he was betrayed by people he thought were friends

But after he got out of that slump, he was able to find some silver lining in the situation

His senses were hightened, giving him better hearing and a better sense of smell

He is way faster and stronger

And he can go way longer without food

Pretty decent, you know, in light of being betrayed and sacrificed

So unlike BEN, when faced with the idea of his humanity being gone, he isn't entirely heart broken

But when you come into his life, its almost an ethereal thing

You make him feel dizzy and light, as if all his sins are gone and he is just free to exist, weightless and happy

Your relationship is built on the foundation of trust, so he'd follow you to the ends of the world if need be

So when you bring up the topic of redemption and freeing him of all his troubles and mistakes, he trusts that if thats what you want for him, it is ultimately the best thing for him

Despite all the happy things i just mentioned, being a demon of his type does come with its setbacks

And despite how hard he tried to not let it affect him, it was still really, really hard getting adjusted

He is almost entirely blind, only being able to see heat patterns

His skin is super sensetive, so he has to be really careful doing literally anything

His nails are really long now, so that took some getting used to

And his teeth get in the way of almost all his meals

So one night when he just can't take it anymore and breaks down, you are there to help him

To redeem him

The process is very short, lasting only a few seconds, but in Jack's view it was almost in slow-mo

He felt light and airy, like how he did when he first met you

He felt like he was being bathed clean of all his sins and regrets

And towards the end, he felt like he was being reborn, fresh to the world once again

He was out of it for a while, only being able to be awake in short spurts, leaving you to carry him to his bed and cover him up, making sure he was comfy before heading off to get him some water

When he awakes, you are sitting at his side

At first he thinks that maybe he just got so angry at himself he passed out

But when he reaches out to you, he notices that his hands arent grey anymore

Instead, his light brown skin is back, along with his short nails

He sits up straight and rolls up his sleeves, seeing the same skin all along his arms

He does his best to stand, stumbling a bit before rushing into the bathroom and looking in the mirror

His eyes are back, his skin is back to a tan brown color, his lips are plump and pinkish again, his ears arent pointed anymore

He's a human again

At first, he's freaked out by the notion

The entire life he's built for himself is entirely based on the fact that he's a demon

He's probably gonna get fired now, and he's probably gonna get kicked out of the underworld, with all his memories of his friends wiped away without as much of a glance at his pitiful face

But then he thinks for a moment

This is his second chance to have a life

A life with you no less

He can start over

He can be good

He'll finish medical school, and get a job, he'll rent an apartment and you two can get married and have children!

The thoughts flood his mind of his new life, but before he can tell any of this to you, he is passing out again, leaving you to carry him to bed once more and tuck him in

[redcoralpot]

Smudged (5)

Summary: Rodrick lives up to his side of the deal, or should I say, community service.

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1K

A/N: Okay, so, this wasn't all that was planned for this chapter. Buttt I felt really rushed and hadn't updated this fic in a little over a month. I'll edit this with the rest of the chapter when I get to it, but for now, it's being put to rest indefinitely. Thank you for the support!

-

The next day, your best friend arrived in English early, much to your surprise. Daniel tossed a notebook onto your desk, slouching in his seat as if he were a drunk, divorced father. You took it into your hand, reading the messily written label, before looking up at the sorrowful boy in front of you. The pages were filled to the brim with outlines, sketches, and ideas; some pictures were lightly colored in.

“I see you’ve been busy,” you quipped.

Daniel hissed, the bags under his eyes more prominent, “This prompt is crap! I’ve been up all night trying to figure out how to do this.”

“You’re thinking too hard about it, Dan.” You pass it back to him, fingers tapping the wooden desk.

“That’s easy for you to say,” he ranted, “you just have drums!”

“I’d rather have the guitar.”

He rubbed his temples, “Not my point. Can’t you come with me tonight to take pictures?”

“In the forest? Dude, that’s every horror movie plot,” you scoffed, watching other students file in.

They sat in their seats or hopped on desks, with one girl rudely scooting on Daniel’s, “I know, that’s why I want you to come with me. I need photos for the presentation board!”

“I dunno if I can, I’m supposed to be going to Rodrick’s house tonight.”

“Since when did you start hanging out with him?”

“Since the need for a decent grade.”

Ms. Kawiti was the last to stroll inside, setting her bag on the table in the front of the classroom. She cleared her throat, and caused all chatter to cease, including your conversation with Daniel. Your best friend grumbled, turning back around, attempting to dodge the long hair intruding in his personal space. The girl herself reluctantly returned to her own place, sharing a few final giggles with her group. You leaned back in your chair, arms crossed and feet perched underneath your desk on a metal bar. There were other boys around the class doing the same, and you adjusted yourself to make the position more comfortable. Why did time have to go so slow when fun is on the other side? 

On just another thing you were better than Rodrick at, you did not break any personal property when parking outside his house. Your shoes clacked against the concrete driveway, purple laces swinging, only stopping to knock on the door. The person who answered was not Rodrick, no, but a much older woman with a professional-looking outfit and brown hair to match. She looked so strikingly different from the drummer you knew that you almost backed away, apologizing for coming to the wrong house. Almost. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, is this the Heffley family’s house?”

She seemed taken aback, almost wary as she took in your appearance, “Yes, are you one of Rodrick’s… bandmates?”

“Uh, no, I’m Heather’s brother. He invited me over for research,” you shrugged.

“Rodrick and research?” Mrs. Heffley cocked an eyebrow up, slightly stepping back to allow you inside.

You waved your hands, and said, “I know, absolutely unbelievable! However, I can assure you that I’m telling the truth– he brought home some books.”

“And I read it, duh,” a voice called from above.

Rodrick, the devil, hung his head over the overhead railing. He cocked his head at you, sneering. Mrs. Heffley shook her head, sighed, and walked into a separate room beside you; there wasn’t any attention on her anymore. Rodrick motioned for you to come up the stairs, before disappearing again.

His voice echoed, “C’mon, my room’s the coolest here!”

For a split second, you hesitated. You glanced back to where Mrs. Heffley had disappeared, unsure of whether it was appropriate to leave your shoes on and make a mess of the house. Just to be safe, you set them neatly beside the door, before following the other boy up the stairs.

When you finally arrived, Rodrick had already vanished once again. There were multiple doors running down the hallway, but the only hint as to the correct one was the faint sound of guitar riffs. It almost sounded like it was coming from above you, though you decided to peek into the closest unlocked door. This room wasn’t even a bedroom; it was simply a small bathroom meant for one or two people. There was a bit of a smell inside, like someone hadn't flushed the toilet. Hell, as curious as you were, you weren’t going to confirm that.

You barely could close the door before a finger tapped your shoulder, and you flinched, turning around– it was just Greg. The little boy was Rodrick’s unlucky younger brother, who was at least a head shorter than you. He seemed nicer than your acquaintance, and it really made you wonder how the two of them were raised in the same household. Perhaps Rodrick was adopted? Nah. Greg was studying you with a standoffish look in his eyes, the kind kids get when they meet strange family friends. You weren’t surprised; your looks were far from the typical suburban rich boy.

“His room’s in the attic,” Greg said, plainly, “Last door.”

He scurried off to do his own things, possibly to bug his mother about the newest Nintendo game. There was no last door on the left, only a wall that held an uncharacteristically peaceful family photo. Rodrick was still Rodrick, just younger, with devilish messy hair and dirt under his nails. On the right, however, there was a slightly ominous wooden door. In direct contrast to the opposite wall, the door had a sign that read Rodrick Only. It was so childishly Rodrick that you couldn’t help but chuckle under your breath. 

One knock, two knock, three knock. The music coming from above grew ever so slightly quieter, and you could hear heavy footsteps coming down the attic stairs. It opened, only to an unimpressed drummer.

“Dude, aren’t you coming?” He frowned.

 You shrugged, pointing to the sign, “I’m not allowed in. It’s Rodrick only, remember?”

Said boy rolled his eyes, huffing out a laugh, “You’re the exception.”

“The exception?”

“An exception,” he corrected himself.

You pushed past him, clambering up the stairs, “Whatever you say, dick.”

“Weirdo.”

Rodrick’s room was, to put it nicely, a mess. His bed was undone, random magazines poked out from under his mattress, and you honestly couldn’t tell if the jeans hanging on the railing were dirty or clean. Three, conjoined windows were the only source of natural light, and you swore you could see a spider web hanging off the sill. Posters and grimy t-shirts were plastered all over the walls and ceiling; you doubted any space was left untouched. Rodrick’s drum set sat in the corner, shining like it was brand new.

He was shuffling through a bookshelf behind you, containing almost everything but books themselves, much to your amusement. Rodrick must have seen the quirk of your lips when he managed to pull a thin, perfectly packaged music book from its depths, as his eyes narrowed when he turned to face you. 

“This is for the bare basics of drumming, it should cover all that mechanical stuff you have in your outline,” he shrugged.

“You actually read that?”

Rodrick’s gaze flicked towards you, unsure, before his chest puffed up obnoxiously, “Duh, what kinda guy do you take me for?”

…

“I’m not gonna answer that.”

“You’re just too scared to admit that I’m awesome!”

You mumbled, “You’re delusional.”

“Aha! I knew it!”

“If you know so much,” you tapped the cymbal, “give me what I’m here for.”

The 

Rodrick groaned, “You’re such a party pooper sometimes.”

“Ironic.”

He swiped the drumsticks from the seat and pointed them at you threateningly, like an annoyed teacher, “Shh.”

Rodrick used the sticks to point out each individual drum part, explaining the noise they make and how he uses them in his band. You scratched your nose while he rambled on, not feeling in the mood to tell him you knew this already. It was only when he started back on the ego talk that your attention drifted to other parts of his room, to all the little details. There was a large poster of a woman holding a dark colored guitar, her hair swept back in a 90’s hairstyle that most definitely wouldn’t be possible without layers upon layers of spray. She had eyeliner smudged across her eyelids, but they had a cleaner edge than Rodrick’s attempts; quite similar to yours. Rodrick was now doing light taps to 4-4 time, nodding his head to the rhythm, eyes closed. 

The fan in the opposite corner was making the glossed pages under his mattress flutter and loosen from where they were hidden. If you squinted your eyes, you could just barely make out a part of the photo– were those biceps? If you shuffled a bit to the right, you could pull it out enough that it would flutter out on its own, and that it did. Hell, Rodrick was too busy rocking out on the drums to hear your suspicions being confirmed.

You wouldn’t be surprised if Rodrick had a magazine full of half naked women hanging around somewhere; it was Rodrick, after all. However, one full of shirtless men? That was out of character for the self proclaimed womanizer. For a moment, you thought about telling him that you knew about his stash, but quickly dismissed it. You couldn’t imagine how embarrassing that would be for someone, even an asshole as shameless as him! Besides, who knows how insulated the walls of this house are, right? You bit your tongue, humming along to Rodrick’s music as he made a dramatic finish to the song.

“I was starting to worry I wasn’t keeping your attention there,” he chuckled to himself.

You tilted your head, “I just got lost in the beat, you know how it is.”

“That I do, dude. Was that all you needed?”

“Bingo, you were super useful.”

He grinned, “I’m always helpful! You could literally just ask Gregory his opinion on it, I taught him all about how to survive middle school.”

“The harshest environment, I’m aware.” You stood up.

“Okay,” he sensed the sarcasm in your tone, “you’re banned. Get out.”

“I’m going, I’m going, don’t get your panties in a twist!”

You ran down the stairs, hearing him cackling the whole way down. Rodrick was funny sometimes, you had to give him that. Maybe these next few weeks wouldn’t be so bad, after all.

-

[detentiontrack]

THANK YOU FOR ASKING! I have been dying to talk about it. @banyanas

Sasha Waybright was traumatized before amphibia even happened, and here's why (coming from someone who is studying to be a psychologist and also has trauma):

Notes:

I am only going based off of things that are canon, and while I do have headcanons and suspicions on what exactly her trauma is, I don't have canon evidence to back it up, so I'm just going to go over the SYMPTOMS of trauma I see in her

Cognitively and behaviorally, Sasha is not normal. I feel like a lot of people see her blonde mean girl Californian cheerleader traits and just sort of assume she's your stereotypical mean girl. What they fail to remember is that Sasha is 13, and her motivations are different. Sasha is not a mean girl in the sense that she is mean to others for power or just to be mean. Sasha does use her social status occasionally (Ie threatening Margo w not inviting her to her pool party in the reunion flashback scene), however Sasha's mean acts do have a purpose. Sasha believes that she alone knows whats best, and to help those that she loves, she needs to take full control. She feels like Anne can ONLY have a good birthday if they skip school. She believes that they can ONLY go home if they execute Hop Pop. She believes that they can ONLY be happy if Sasha has control of amphibia and the box. She feels like the only way to take care of people and herself, is to be in complete control, and that is extremely common in victims of trauma who feel like they can't trust or rely on anyone.

Her manipulation skills are also developmentally abnormal. A well adjusted 13 year old with no adverse life experiences would not have such an extensive history of manipulating. In Jail break, Sasha says that a tactic she uses all the time is to "Make everyone love you, and they'll do whatever you say." Sasha has the ability to talk her way out of almost any negative situation and easily take charge. This is also really common in people with trauma and an unstable life. Often times, someone might have to talk their way out of being harmed, or to have their needs met that weren't otherwise.

Sasha has a complicated relationship with the concept of family. She has not mentioned her parents even once throughout the show, whereas Anne and Marcy have. In the reunion flashback, Sasha acts as if Anne going home to her parents is a bad thing. She remarks on how babyish Anne's party is, and she doesn't seem to understand that it's not even the party Anne wants, but to spend time with her family. In True Colors, Sasha says in a cutting tone "Say hi to your parents for me" as she thinks that she's sending Anne back to earth forever. Her tone implies irritation that Anne even has parents she wants to go home to, and perhaps even jealousy.

Sasha was fully prepared to live in and rule amphibia once she took over Newtopia in true colors. She did not want to go home after not seeing earth or her family in 5 months.

When Marcy confesses, Sasha's first thought is anger at the betrayal, not missing her home.

Back on the topic of what's developmentally normal, I found the scene of when Sasha first met Anne and Marcy interesting, although I could be reaching. Once baby Sasha aggressively gets the bullies off the the swings, she starts to walk away. She is surprised when Anne and Marcy introduce themselves and ask if she wants to play with them. At 5 years old, Sasha had the idea that she was only useful and wanted when she was doing something for other people. At 5 years old, a person without adverse experiences would not have this mindset.

The Marcy journal filled in some of the gaps about her parents. It confirmed the theory we all had since froggy little Christmas that Sasha's parents are divorced, and had been divorced since she was "4 or 5". Her father remarried and her mother has a long term boyfriend with kids of his own. In this entry, Anne says that she didn't know a ton about Sasha's home life and Sasha has always been very private about it. She says that Sasha always felt "lost at sea when it comes to family" and speculated that maybe that's why Sasha always kept her and Marcy under her thumb. This entry really hit gold in terms of understanding Sasha because it's when a bunch of possibilities clicked into place when I first read it. Sasha, Anne, and Marcy, despite having issues, were very close. The fact that Sasha didn't share anything about her homelife in the 8 years they were friends, is a HUGE red flag. Divorce is not inherently trauma, however if it's handled poorly, then it can be very bad and traumatic. Even if you take away the possibility of Sasha being directly abused, it's still really difficult to watch her parents fight before and during the divorce process. The state of California typically likes to give 50/50 custody, so it's difficult for her to go back and forth to her parents houses while watching them get into new relationships. She felt lost at sea and abandoned during all of it, and she felt like she couldn't even tell her best friends. In situations like this, especially so young, a person really can develop and strong and tough exterior, while also learning skills for manipulation and taking control when you feel you're in a situation that is out of your control. Sasha Waybright is 13 years old, and she was able to immediately become a Lieutenant to the toad army and then later a Commander of a resistance during a war. Sasha Waybright has numerous markers of someone who has gone through a life of uncertainty, abandonment, hurt, and neglect.

[roomsofangel]

CHAPTER TWENTY — IS THIS WHAT THE POETS MEANT?

previous | masterlist | next

warnings not really any i think of right off the bat

WRITING BELOW .ᐟ

you were nervous.

you attempted to rub your hands that were a tad bit damp from your sweat onto your clothes, face cringing before checking your phone for the hundredth time to check the clock. it was only two minutes ago that san sent his last message yet you were checking constantly as if he was running late to an important meeting.

‘maybe its not too late to back out..’ you thought to yourself, sinking in your seat as you messed with the strings of your hoodie, staring at the half drunk boba tea yeosang got you before walking you here. maybe you could ask zane for help, maybe even his soulmate felix could sprinkle in some baker wisdom. frowning, you pushed the thoughts aside and have to reluctantly commit to the cards you’ve been dealt

“you’ll get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that,” an amused voice spoke, it was airy as if he was out of breath but still had enough to laugh and tease, your head lifted to see san who slid off the hood from his jacket from his head, taking the seat in front of you.

“you’ll give an unlucky someone a heart attack just popping up like that,” you repeated in a similar fashion, lightly mumbling with a slight head shake which san replied to with another amused laugh, adjusting himself in his seat

you noticed how san was a lot more buffer than you remembered, but to be fair the only glimpses you caught of him were of him in distress or moving as if his life depended on it — now that you actually sat in front of him, you took in all his features and it made your stomach churn. why was your heart nearly falling out if your chest? is this was poets meant when they wrote about these metaphors?

taking note of his features, your eyes scanned his clothes and they nearly popped out their sockets at the notice of familiar color scheme, the both of you wearing a similar outfit with a similar palette, is this that soulmate telepathy or were you reading into it too much?

meanwhile, san wanted to make this fast. he had to. maybe it was the fact he knew exactly what could have been in your mind, it was only expected when he had the same thoughts. he knew this build up, he knew the steps that would be taken and it did not help that you were his soulmate at all. it was as if he’s seen this film before, but he didnt want to stick around long enough to even figure out if he would like the ending

“so.. baking,” your voice rung in his ears and filled his head, his face scrunching as he got back into reality and he looked at you, your face mirroring his own while your fingers messed with the straw of your cup.

he nodded, “baking,” he repeated as if he was some sort of parrot and looked around the spot on campus you two agreed on meeting at. the interior was nice, the amount of fake plants there were made him feel as if he was a sim and the player just needed to fill in some empty spaces but he didnt care too much for it.

“i was thinking we could do strawberry? with maybe a cream cheese sort of frosting?” you thought outloud, mentioning to san who looked as if he understood nothing while you continued going on, humming here and there while sipping your drink. “jongho and i were originally going to do different flavors and make some sort of art through it,” you snorted

and san hated how he found it endearing, and he hated how he found himself straightening his posture and not being able to stop the next words from flowing, “then lets do that!”

you looked at him, eyes blinking to process what he had just said before smiling a little. “oh.. okay! i could show you the ideas and what me and jongho took inspo from?” you offered and he couldnt stop himself from nodding, especially when your own happiness seemed to fill his entire body as well.

taglist (open) @puppyminnnie @atinytinaa @mingis-mizu @littlestarwoo @itstheghostofmypast

[marsmarbles]

If you have the time, could you maybe do a scene with bigb teaching grian how to bake his famous cookies? Or maybe something a bit more angsty, like one of them getting to the other only to find their leftover items? Or whatever you want honestly! Thx for the secret soulmates food! :p

I had an idea for this request but it would be too much to draw so I’m actually gonna try and do some writing instead. Sorry for those who don’t like reading. It’s kinda long.

Golden Light to Silver Shadows

Grian nervously stood before the Food Crew’s bakery entrance, clamping his sweaty hands on a present he had spent all day preparing for BigB. Turning the knob of the door and pushing it open activated an alarm system set up by Fwhip. A bell rang and a few note blocks could be heard. It was a charming little jingle to welcome customers. The bakery was cozy with cherry plank walls and coffee colored spruce floors. A few circle tables were sprinkled in the center of the room with booths lining the walls. Lanterns, succulents, and baskets of flowery bushes hung from the ceiling. BigB was sat behind the counter. He was examining the creases in the floorboards with his head resting on his hand. He had been daydreaming. BigB loved his bakery, but it was admittedly boring to wait for customers. The door jingle alerted him to Grian’s presence.

“Grian!” BigB lit up in excitement, his antennae wiggled with joy. The genuine excitement to see Grian was more than enough to make Grian’s face flush. “Hey, BigB. I uhhh… made something for you.”

Grian slid a bag of cookies across the counter with shaky hands. They were neatly wrapped in a shimmery clear bag, tightly fastened with a blue ribbon with gold accents. “This was my first time ever making cookies, so sorry if they’re bad. Maybe you can show me your secret recipe,” Grian laughed nervously.

BigB gleefully loosened the blue ribbon holding the bag shut, took a cookie, and ate it whole. It was crunchy and thin and….hollow(?)…they weren’t bad by any means. For Grian’s first time, BigB appreciated the love and effort he put in. He had waited all day for someone to show up to the bakery. And the fact that it was Grian made it even better. He didn’t want him to leave just yet.

“How about we make some cookies together! The cocoa beans should be ready in the greenhouse,” BigB suggested, gesturing to the entrance to the greenhouse just behind him.

“I’d love to!” Grian quickly replied. The word ‘together’ was enough.

After BigB stashed away the cookies for later in the top cabinet, he and Grian made their way to the back door to the greenhouse. Grian had to do an awkward shuffle around the counter to keep up. The greenhouse was gorgeous. Golden light shone through the semi transparent overhang and broke through the flowers and leaves. Parrots chirped and bees buzzed. Luscious plants swayed in the gentle breeze. Glow berry vines slung from the ceiling as axolotls and frogs popped out from the ponds, curious of the new visitor. Grian stared in awe. This was more of a massive nature preserve than any greenhouse he’s ever been in.

“Grian?” BigB broke Grian out of his trance. “The cocoa bean farm is over here.”

“Uh right,” Grian said, adjusting his glasses and wiping his mouth and chin with his coat sleeve (just to make sure he didn’t drool while distracted).

BigB led him to a cluster of jungle trees. They reached high, popping out the top of through the ceiling. Podzol and bamboo were dotted around in clumps. Just past the cocoa bean farm was the end of the greenhouse. Through the transparent walls could be a seen an expansive jungle forest, stretching well beyond the world borders. BigB pulled off a ready cocoa bean plant and inspected it for abnormalities. After checking that it was good, he held it out for Grian. “Why don’t you try to break this one open?”

“Uhh I dunno,” Grian held his hands up, unsure.

In that moment, Grian took a pause. Actually, the whole world felt in slow motion. Something unseen had disturbed the peace. His Watcher senses were tingling, so to speak. Something was about to happen….. Suddenly, as the world picked back up in speed, BigB’s calming smile was shot down with an excruciating pain all throughout his body; every muscle, every ligament, every organ, each and every follicle of hair. The cocoa bean plant dropped and exploded on impact with the earth. A jolt went up his spine and his legs went out on him. He tumbled to the ground. He had no process time to scream or cry out in pain. He just fell.

“BIGB!!!!” Grian shrieked, dropping to his knees to assist him just as fast as BigB fell. “B-BIGB WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU OKAY??”

“I-I…I think I’m going…J-Jimmy…he-”BigB managed to get out with a weak shaky breath.

“BigB! BigB! Please I need you to stay with me BigB,” Grian frantically cradled BigB in his arms. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He checked chat…

…Jimmy had fallen to his death…

Oh, fucking of course, Grian thought. Grian hadn’t considered Jimmy being in control of BigB’s lives, but with that confirmation he’d might as well think of this as his final moments with his secret soulmate.

“Grian….” BigB mustered the strength to caress Grian’s cheek and wipe away a tear. “…it’s ok….i’ll be right back….it’s just one life….”

“BigB….” Grian quietly whined, taking BigB’s hand, keeping it held to his cheek. He felt it go cold and his arm become heavy. Grian saw the last of the light in BigB’s dark eyes fade as his body became limp. Grian pulled his lifeless corpse into one final hug. And as BigB dissipated into smoke and billowed away…..Grian was left alone.

All the light and magic that the greenhouse had greeted him with was gone. The birds went silent, the bees hid back into their hives. The trees and flowers went grey and the golden light became silver shadows. Silently, Grian collected BigB’s fallen items, keeping his head down to hide his tearful look. And as he slowly closed the chest he stored BigB’s items in, he heard voices in the distance. It was a collection of people, most notably Scott, Martyn, Fwhip, and Joel, with a tomato faced Jimmy stomping ahead of them.

“Jimmy!!! We’re sorry!! We didn’t think you’d miss the water!” Scott cackled as he tried to explain himself to Jimmy.

“It was bad maths!! Bad maths!!” Martyn pleaded with a giggle.

“We didn’t think you’d die!!” Scott added, trying to breathe through his laughter.

“IM NOT HAVING ANY OF IT!!!!” Jimmy snapped back at them. “PLAYING BUNGEE JUMP WITH FISHING RODS IS THE LAST THING WE SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK IMMA TELL BIGB, ‘THAT IT WAS JUST A PRANK’!!??”

Jimmy stormed into the bakery, and as he slammed the door, Fwhip’s voice was cut off; “but it was just a prank-“

Grian could here Jimmy stomp about in the bakery. He must’ve been looking for BigB. Jimmy ran out into the greenhouse and froze to find Grian and the aftermath of the incident. Grian stood there with a clenched fist and a chest by his feet. He gave Jimmy a stone cold glare with his dark eyes. Jimmy flinched at the sight of his expression.

“I put BigB’s stuff in this chest,” Grian said almost robotically, pointing to the box.

Jimmy desperately wanted to apologize, but Grian looked like he would accept nothing; not even a notch apple. Grian stiffly walked past him.

“I’m sorry….about BigB…” Jimmy made an attempt at an apology, hoping that Grian could find it in him somewhere to forgive him. Grian paused.

“It wasn’t your fault, Tim….” Grian said without turning back to him. “It was their’s….”

Grian continued walking, leaving Jimmy to wallow. He made his way to the bakery and took a seat at one of the circle tables. The room felt cold and desolate compared to before. Like it was a completely different place that the greenhouse had spat him back out into. He shuffled his chair forward and laid his head down, waiting for BigB’s return.

I actually had a lot of fun writing this, even though I wouldn’t consider myself a very skilled writer(and there’s most definitely a lot of mistakes I made lol). I felt like it was easier to depict a full scene compared to a comic(which would’ve probably taken me weeks). So I’ll do more writing like this in the future.

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Background + poll results💙

Hello hello and welcome new followers! :]

Firstly I just want to say a very big thank you to everyone that participated in the poll I did last week, I was really surprised but happy with the results and responses! This will help me a lot moving forward! :,] If you missed it and would like to say which route you preferred feel free to comment!

Anywho, this week mainly focused on art practicing again but I did work on the game and managed to get my bearings even more!

Here is the new background for the start of the game:

This took a long time to draw up since I sketched out the background instead of looking at references this time. Once I got a basic idea of how I wanted it to look it felt.. too empty and flat. At first I couldn't figure out why until I added more shrubbery and grass. After that I started adding the trees and then added a few more to give it depth and adjusted some of the coloring. So far the immersive symbolism I'm going for is slowly coming together! Since it just finished raining where you're located I tried to give the background the illusion of looking tolerably humid but slowly getting colder over time with a hint of decay in the distance. This is a better look of the dreary foreboding atmosphere compared to the "fairy-forest" from last week. >:,] It took a while but I also added a parallax effect here and optimized the images to save space. I kept getting an error when it came to the middle ground so I had to find and fix the problem which delayed things. I don't have a video to show it in action but maybe next time. I do want it to be known again that these automatically happen and don't follow the cursor. :,,]

Here's a sneak peek of the new choices you can do when you're in this area now. >;]

This part required a lot of brainstorming before I figured out how I wanted the explorative part to go. This was originally going to go a different way completely but a particular day caused me to just scrap it and start everything over. I have a very solid idea on how I want all of this to go better than ever so I can't wait to show some of the new areas! I didn't expect this background to take as long as it did to draw up but hopefully next week I'll have more done!

Progress doodle layout:

Since certain endings are being changed I thought it would be cool to animate a progress layout to visually show how everything is going! It shouldn't take too long to finish this section up since I already have a foundation laid out.

Noah's sprite sheet update:

As far as Noah sprite sheets goes, it's still in sketch mode and I haven't messed with them yet since I've been practicing. :,,]

There are some old drawing prompts I wrote down and sketches that I'm still doodling up behind the scenes so hopefully I can get to them at some point with some attached lore. :,]

Q&A / Ask box is still open:

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

Thank you to those who have sent in asks after everything got reset! I'll try to get to them when I can along with the ones that come to mind that got deleted. I just need time to answer since I like to respond with doodles/drawings as practice. :]

Overall that's everything I have to share so far, thank you guys for your continued encouragement and support through all of this, I wholeheartedly appreciate it! :,,]

[chevvy-yates]

[NC_RES]_27022048-NCA steyr_v_portraits_030_CS.file ///core:_vijay_steyr.file\\\

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⚠️ READ: Please do not repost/reupload any of my art here or to any other platform, or I will be forced to do anything to get it annihilated. Rogue cyberspace jacket by @pinkyjulien. The Witch pose pack by @busyvampire.

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For a long long while I've wanted to shoot pics of how I see Vijay as a netrunner in cyberspace or how I imagine a Cyberpunk 2077 cyberspace interface in his style could look.

More under the cut. Beware you may read how my head breaks into pieces as I try hard to understand Cyberpunk's netrunning world lore. I copy pasted some texts from lore books about netrunning because I lack in explainging by myself — so if you're interested, there you go:

First I thought about making the background black, like how it's in the game when you stand in front of the blackwall or talk to Alt. But somehow that isn't it for me.

I've read a while ago netrunners can program their cyberdecks I-G interfaces with a so called 'CREATOR' program that makes netspace like the netrunner wants or has to imagine it.

"There are two other programs on a cyberdeck. One is the Operating System: a program that listens to the instructions the Netrunner thinks to it and obeys his commends. The other is the CREATOR virtual reality system, which is really a complex drawing program that tells the I-G that “when you get this signal from the Net, show the guy this image instead of the one he normally would see.” Our small and stupid computer also has a capacious memory; it can store and run various programs (as directed by its owner), and it also has a huge library of images that both CREATOR and the I-G interface draw upon to interpret what the Netrunner sees while in Netspace. […] By activating the Creator drawing program hardwired into his cyberdeck, the runner is basically modifying the deck‘s basic I-G interface program. First, a background is selected from a huge database of backgrounds, then modified by using simple controls to adjust color, shading and texture. Then the 3-D objects are selected from another database of objects scanned from real life, then stored in a compressed, high-resolution form. The objects can be decompressed and “assembled” into virtual reality on four different levels of resolution. When a runner saves a program, he is saving all the instructions for redrawing the virtual reality he’s created. Anyone entering the Virtual (either where it is stored on the runner’s cyberdeck or in another system) automatically activates the picture and causes the cyberdeck or computer to reconstruct it."

— Rache Bartmoss' Guide to the Net – The Cyberpunk Sourcebook for the Global Computer Net

I'm honest, I'm having a hard time to understand the netrunning world as decribed in the lorebooks. Somehow it always ends same for me like when I watch documentations about the universe expansion, dark matter and supermassive black holes for too long: my head hurts, I have too many questions and I think I'm the dumbest being on the planet. lol

But this gave me basically the idea to make it look like it looks now in the pics, so I imagined maybe Vijay programs it so that it looks like how he wants it. But if he enters other parts of cyberspace he may not have an influence on it as it changes into a different interface if I understood it right.

Anyways, I took a behind the scenes shot this time if you are interested how my 'set' looked. It was very experimental. Who needs a photostudio? x)

By the Way:

The glowing balls visibly in his hands or next to him stand for an anti-system program named 'Cascade II' Vijay uses. Lorebook says this:

"Cascade is not a daemon, bearing more in common with Virazz and Viral 15. lt can only be used against a system CPU. When used, it overwrites system code, causing the CPU to switch programs at random. Every turn there's a 2 in 10 chance that whatever program the runner has encountered will change to something else at random-files might switch to ICE, ICE to system controllers, etc. Anything is possible! lf used against a cyberdeck, the deck chooses a new program at random to run each turn. Cascade can only be stopped by preventing it from reaching the CPU, or by dumping the system code and reloading it ICON: A floating ball of energy."

— Rache Bartmoss' Brainware Blowout – The Hardware and Software Compendium for Cyberpunk

Most of the netrunning stuff will stay a mysterium forever for me and I get why netrunning in the game is made that simple as it is. You simply cannot transfer this massive cyberspace stuff into a videogame. I imagine that e.g. Night City would have to be entirely rebuilt as cyberspace with changing interface virtual realities – everything needs an icon, has code gates, data walls, all kinds of watch dog programs and so on. There's like terrabites of programs runners use. From what I undestood is the quickhacks used in the game do invade other runner's and machine's MicroNets and we basically see it only happen in the real world because we do not see a runners cyberspace window. They are described like this:

"While The Net is a global community exploring everything fit for man and beast, a microNet is a pinched-off part of cyberspace all to itself with very small scope and very defined purpose. MicroNets are in things like: your own cyberwear, your smartgun, that AV-4 you were chased by last night or the hot little red Audi convertible of that girl you’ve been trying to find an excuse to get to know."

— Rache Bartmoss' Brainware Blowout – The Hardware and Software Compendium for Cyberpunk

MicroNets can be accessed through connection from outside (like these kind of data points or when you got real world access to it so you can simply jack in as we know in the game) or 'microNetrun' via a runner's c-deck. And I think ingame quickhacks such as "Synapse Burnout" as we gamers know them are in reality more Anti-Personnel programs called "Brainwipe" "Zombie" or "Lich". Last two are the evolution of Brainwipe what is describet like this:

Brainwipe is the simplest of a series of black programs, all of which are designed to attack the Netrunner instead of his programs. All black programs can be carried by an intruding Netrunner and used to attack other 'runners encountered in the Net. Brainwipe tracks the victim down, fries his forebrain with a jolt of current, and reduces him to a drooling vegetable <1D6 each turn to INTI. The screaming Netrunner feels his mind melt away, until his INT is reduced to O and he dies. Lost I NT cannot be regained.

This surely is a program Jaysen will definitely make use of. Vijay could but doesn't since he doesn't want to kill people anymore (he used it in his early runner days with a drugged mind as well).

Okay, okay I need to stop or it gets worse.