#do you know how much time it takes to film 30 minutes of TV?? how much MONEY?!?!

[howtosingit]

someone teach Tim Minear how to properly write a 43-minute episode of television please and thank you 

[seokjinsonlyone]

this how i think bts would be if they was your husband

namjoon:

you’d have your own rooftop garden together; like he’d get someone to get it setup architecturally the way he has it envisioned in his head and to give like advice on the types of plants that are good for this set up but y’all would do all the seeding and watering and weed pulling yourselves

evening walks together around sunset through the park or around the river hand in hand where you just soak up nature and talk about any and everything

you both like the idea of having a pet but know that you're too busy to keep one regularly so you end up getting fish; he gets a cute little 20 gallon tank and like five fish but he actually does a lot of research on which fish live the best together, which food and treats they like best, the best plants and knick knacks to put inside, how to clean it, etc.; all in all takes the whole situation way more seriously than you'd thought he would; it was supposed to be sumn light for the summer time but you'd think he's filming an episode of tanked for all the time and effort he pours into it

sits side by side with you rubbing circles into your lower back whenever you need to rant about something

loves it when you get desperate for him so sometimes around the time you're ovulating he teases you; will walk around the house in nothing but his briefs with his glasses on talking in his deep voice; will invade your space like if you're in the kitchen making food or something he's gonna come up behind you and wrap that strong arm around your middle kissing up on you asking meaningless questions about what you're doing until you finally snap and drag him to the bedroom

consistently opens every door for you and pulls out your chair at restaurants even if it's five, ten years down the line

the type to never know where anything is; it's not even that you switch things up a lot it's just that he never forgot the muscle memory of where things were when he lived alone; so he's constantly calling out to you asking where something is; half the time what he looking for be in very obvious locations but his mind is just so all over the place that he overlooks it

uses you as his sounding board when he has a situation he needs handled; will just sit there and think out loud to you for minutes and hours; you don't even be saying that much really like occasionally he'll ask what you think but he appreciates having a listening ear more than anything and you're happy to be there for him even if his incessant rambling makes you wanna strangle yourself sometimes

would learn to help you take out your box braids; it makes you nervous when he first offers to help because he can be a bit rough sometimes but he's oddly gentle and diligent with the task; once he's gotten good with that you convince him to wash your hair too; and take down/wash day is less dreadful because of it

you two become a package deal; like it could be a boys night or a girl's night and you're always gonna try to bring the other with and most of the time y'alls friends don't mind like you're one of the boys and he's one of the girls so it's fine; even if he like invites some friends over the house and you stay in the room to give them some space at some point he's gonna go and check up on you; you'll just be laying in bed on your laptop or phone, watching tv or something and he's gonna lay beside you and ask what you doing make sure you're okay next thing you know 30 minutes gon go by and you'll have to remind him that he has guests over; then he's gonna convince you to come out with him and stay tucked up under his arm until his friends leave or pass out

seokjin:

draws you a bath when he knows you’ve had a long day; it’d be really nice too; he'd light your favorite candle and set it on the counter; add a fragrant moisturizing bath bomb and sprinkle in some flower petals; once you settle in he'll put down one of them over the tub trays and hand you a glass of wine and your laptop so you can watch whatever you want or stream music while you’re in the tub

loves referring to you as 'his wife'; like y'all will be with a group of your friends that knew you from the get go and they'll ask him where he got his jacket from and he'll be like "oh my wife bought it for me" and they'll be like "🥴 boi we knew her long before she was ever worried about you just say her name" aksksksk

every couple months y’all will go on cooking dates with his celebrity chef friends and their wives; which is basically them in the kitchen being loud cooking a meal he specifically chose for you and you and the wife not too far away watching them while being wined and dined

not particularly handy but he feels like as a man there’s just certain things he should be able to do; so if your sink is leaking or there’s a problem with your car battery or something he’s gonna hop on youtube and figure out how to solve it first; calls an actual repairman to deal with it if he can’t fix it without being moderately inconvenienced

insists on getting a pool installed even tho you tell him you would barely use it bc you hate having to redo your hair more than you like to swim; you actually do end up using it all the time bc he orders one of those giant canopy floats and y'all just lay up there and take naps or talk; the whole outdoor area is actually bomb tbh like there's an entire sheltered outdoor kitchen and grill patio area with fans on the ceiling for when it gets hot and a fully loaded bar; y'all honestly spend more time outside during the summer than inside and get scolded for not entertaining people more often

if you reeeaaalllyyy want him to go shopping with you he will but he’d rather just give you his card and you gather up some of your girls and y’all can go nuts together

tries to butter you up when he knows he's in trouble but it's never with anything good like he'll stop at the convenience store on the way home and pick up some things to try to sway you; he get home and you're waiting for him slightly ticked off and he's like "i know you're mad but look at what i got you and it's a cosmic brownie, sour gummy worms (his favorite candy mind you), some wet wipes, and an arizona tea

official driver of the relationship; lets you be the passenger princess of your dreams like whenever you need to get from point a to point b he’s getting you there all you gotta do is sit down and look pretty (and play decent music while he’s driving)

even if you’re not a certified Gamer Girl™️ when there’s like a new mario game or something along those lines that doesn’t require a ton of skill and know how to play you’ll no life it together; like will straight up play for like 16 hours a day until you beat it; you still force him to eat and shower however but you’re not allowed to touch the controller until he returns bc he’d be afraid you’ll lose all your lives

the type to get super close with your family; like you look over one day and see yo mama calling him and you listen to him and they're literally just catching up???; he goes out on bros days with your dad and brothers; all your cousins follow him on instagram and be sending him memes; and you just sit there tryna figure out how he singlehandedly replaced you in your family bc they be treating him better than they treat you

yoongi:

after hearing you talk about wanting a detached claw foot jacuzzi tub for the 1000th time he decides to just go ahead and get your dream house built from the ground up; gives his input in every step of the process since he has so many opinions on architecture, furniture, finishes, and overall aesthetics; sometimes there’s little disagreements when your design styles clash but in the end he makes sure that you definitely get everything you’ve ever wanted included

warms your car up for you in the morning during winter months; unimportant but i just know he would go out in a sweatshirt and some slides like barefoot toes out in 20° weather shuffling out to make sure your car is nice and cozy and the frost is off the windshield

every now and again you’ll just be chilling at home and then he’ll be like “yah go get dressed we’re going out” and then he’ll genuinely take you on one of the best dates ever; it may not be over the top every time but somehow it’s always exactly what you needed; acts nonchalant about it when you’re gushing over how great of a time you’re having; “ah it’s nothing” but he’s secretly super self satisfied bc he knows he’s killing it

sometimes he’ll be sprawled out on the couch watching basketball and you’ll be tryna tell him something but he’s so engrossed that he won’t hear a word you say so you gotta throw a pillow at him to get his attention

untangles your necklaces for you; sweeps the hair from the back of your neck and clasps it together once he's got it free

likes leaning on your shoulder when you’re in bed on the computer; not really nosy about what it is that you’re doing whether it’s work or whatever but just likes to listen to the sound of your typing as his own personal asmr; also loves it when you get your nails done like will happily pay for a new set every other week because of the tippity tapping that accompanies everything you do

sets up a joint bank account for you two like immediately bc he doesn't have anything to hide and what's his is yours; but also sets you up a separate savings account that he funnels money into biweekly bc he wants you to be okay always even if one day it has to be without him

if you're both up late and you're feeling peckish he'll whip up a quick late night snack for y'all to munch on

never really comments when your hormones throw your body system out of wack; like if you randomly had night sweats for a couple days and sweat through your clothes and blanket he'd just nudge you awake so you can dry off and turn the ac on

is extra physically affectionate whenever you start getting irritated even if he’s the source of your irritation; will grab your hand and pull you into him planting kisses on top of your head and rubbing up and down your back until you’re sufficiently pacified

hoseok:

all his numeric passcodes are related to you; like it’s either your birthday or your anniversary, the day y’all met, first date, etc.

sometimes he likes to sit on the toilet when you're in the shower and talk to you; will periodically poke his head in to check your progress depending on how long you're in there; ooos and aahs and waggles his eyebrows every time he does so

some people think you’re some kind of dictator bc his response to every proposal he receives is “let me check with my wife first”; you’re not tho he just likes running things by you bc he’s only ever okay if y’all are on the same page; sometimes you really are his scapegoat if he doesn’t wanna do something tho and you’re fine with being his excuse! you love spending time with your man!!

y’all draw lots over who has to kill the bugs in the house; he tries his best to overcome his fear for you he really does but sometimes he look at the bug and the bug look at him and his heart can’t take it; generally tho there’s less fear of y’all conquer it together

at least once a month he books a couples spa day appointment for you two; deep tissue massages, facials, manicures, pedicures, the works like you just get absolutely spoiled; his motto is that if you feel good and look good then you can be good and be good to each other; unrelated but he get a kick out of eating the cucumbers that are supposed to help soothe around your eyes

you get so used to the sound effects he makes all the time that when he’s not around you have to have some kind of background sounds whether it’s music or white noise just something to fill the air.

you both like plushies, funko pops, action figures and all that so there's a dedicated toy room in your home; all the toys that you actually care about are placed higher up and in cases to keep in good condition but things that you don't mind having some use are accessible; the whole room is carpeted and there are some fluffy rugs too; there's a 65 inch tv on one wall and a computer area for gaming as well; the whole room is illuminated via led lights; needless to say all the kids you know love when y'all babysit them; they stay in that one room the entire time except when they want a snack bc there's no eating in the toy room; jungkook also loves to randomly come and hangout in the toy room by himself

wouldn't tolerate any kind of disrespect toward you; say you went out to a restaurant and the server was being rude to you, he'd clock it so fast he'd be talking to a manager having your server swapped out and dessert on the house before you even realized what they said

y'all try new hobbies together; it's never anything you have experience or are good at which makes it even more fun as you're doing it; like you'll get one of those woobles crochet kits and spend like a month trying to figure it out in your free time and make whatever little creature you bought

never actually stops dating you; will still have an active folder with activities and restaurants he wants the both of you to go to; even if you both lack the time and energy to actually go out on a date he's lighting a candle and pulling out the fine china for you it doesn't matter that you're wearing loungewear and sitting on the floor in front of the tv; he wants you to feel special always

jimin:

intimacy between you two go crazy; you’re as close as close can be like if there were such a thing as soulmates you two would be it; you’re consistently trapped within your own bubble and even if you’re out and about it’s still almost as if no one else existed; like say y’all went out to a club music is thumping people are everywhere it’s a generally Loud environment if you softly called his name from beside him he would turn to you immediately; or someone could brush past him and it’d be whatever but if you ghosted your hand up his arm he would get goosebumps; you’re just insanely in tuned to each other

would love if you had a softer build bc he likes the way you feel like heaven when he lays on you; also he just likes squeezing at your squishy bits; he finds it equal parts amusing and satisfying; like he'll squeeze at your boob when you're half asleep in bed just to annoy you; you'll be turned on your side and his arm will be slung across your waist and he'll just inch his hand up until he reaches your boob and squeezes; giggles evilly every time you smack his hand away and won't stop until you're whining and kicking at him to leave you alone and let you sleep

sometimes you’ll build a giant fort in the living room when he’s getting overwhelmed by life complete with fairy lights strung up overhead and pillows and more blankets covering the floor to make it extra comfy; you spend all day together in there playing games and talking nonsense and eating snacks and end the night cuddled up his arm wrapped around your shoulders, your head tucked into his neck watching movies until you’re sure his head is free from all his worries

loves to be fed, literally; like when dinner time comes he will make one big plate and pull up with a fork and a knife and a waiting attitude; if you don't play along immediately he's gonna put his hands over yours and make you feed him bites until you take over; likes to feed you as well; just always sharing his food with you and expects you to do the same

he gets obsessive when you don't answer his calls; like if he knows you're not busy and he calls you and you don't answer it drives him up a wall and he will spam you with texts and at least a dozen more calls until you pick up; not even because he has anything urgent to tell you he just always craves your attention; bonus: ends every conversation by saying i love you like you could be on the phone for 15 seconds just confirming something really quickly and he's gonna make sure he's told you he loves you before you click end call

doesn’t say anything when he finds you crying just pulls you into him and lets you get it all out; once you start calming down a bit he’ll pull back slightly, gently cupping your face in his hands and swipe away all your tears; only when he’s sure the tears have come to a complete stop does he softly ask “what’s going on?”

still gets shy and flustered around you; it doesn’t stop him from being himself around you whatsoever but it’s very obvious when you have the upper hand in a situation

you can't just tell him you need an item from the store bc half the time he'll go and come back with the wrong thing; you gotta send him a picture of it and that don't even work all the time; most of his solo ventures to the store at your request end in him facetimeing you bc he swears up and down they don't have what you asked for but then you end up finding it for him and you not even there

knows you admire his art skills so he leaves little doodles on post it notes around the house; is really proud when you display the ones you find really cute in your phone case

the type to put his life in your hands; when y'all go out to eat he tells you to order for him bc "you know what i like"; will let you dress him/style his hair however bc "you know what looks good on me"; he just literally trusts and defers to your judgement as much as possible

taehyung:

the type to tighten all the jars when you’re upset with him so you’re forced to ask him for help and talk to him anyway

would try to set up a really romantic dinner for you complete with rose petals and candles and champagne on ice but he'd be so focused on creating the right ambience that he forgets to order the food and one thing bout tae is he ain't a chef and even if he was he wouldn't have enough time before you showed up so you'd end up having a pb&j and cup noodles

sometimes if he has a lot of energy but you’re asleep he’ll poke at you until you’re awake and then he’ll ask if you’re asleep and when you say yes he’ll keep messing with you until he’s able to drag you out to play with him

knows how to tie a tie but claims it looks better when you tie it so whenever he wears a suit he gets you to finish off his look; really he just likes to be manhandled by you and the grip you have around his neck does something for him

if you get him riled up in the morning he just lives there all day; partially aware of what's going on around him but undoubtedly distracted, thinking about you, wanting you; hands and eyes are glued to the phone at all times hoping you'll message him or something even if it is just you teasing him some more; he's putty in your hands and he knows it but when the day is over and y'all are both home you're his

you have to come to major compromises when it comes to decorations; like you let him have his accent wall that he puts his paintings of his basquiat-esque faces but the weird cyber bug and person shark statues and the butt chair have to go

you do majority of the cooking so he takes dish duty very seriously; will swat you away if you try to help most times; however there’s a special place in his heart for the times you ignore him and help anyway by drying the dishes and it’s you him and some music playing and you’re singing and dancing around the kitchen together

there's a legitimate argument about your use of a body pillow; he genuinely gets offended bc is he not enough for you? why can't you just cuddle him? why would you go and put the great wall of china in between you two? what's with the distance? was he too much for you? like the situation blows completely out of proportion for no reason skslklsks the argument ends when you force him to cuddle it and he instantly understands the hype behind it; that doesn't curb his jealousy towards the object however and you're only allowed to use it when he's not in bed with you

a whiny baby when he's sick; you'd think he had tuberculosis in the 12th century instead of a common cold the way he be acting; a piece of tissue stuck in his nose, piled under three blankets, shivering every five minutes on cue; you give him a good day of dealing with the dramatics after that you leave him in the room with a bottle of dayquil and a packet of vitamin c until he decides to get on with his life like a normal human being

loves planning weekend getaways for the two of you; like every other month you guys are out of town for like 3-4 days in the spirit of “rekindling”; he always rents a really nice and cozy cabin type joint and most of the trips are spent just enjoying each others company and the scenery, walking around the town latched onto his arm and eating good food; you come back from each outing refreshed and more in love than you already were

jungkook:

every sunday he checks your car to make sure it has a full tank and if it doesn’t he fills it up for you

you two have separate rooms bc you both like to have space to just exist as an individual from time to time (also it’s really nice to have a place to storm away to when you’re in a fight) but you end up cuddled up next to each other every night anyway

has a very strict laundry schedule and routine; gets annoyed if you don't do it how he likes when he's unable to

watches you while you’re getting ready; he’ll be sitting at the edge of the bed while you walk around from your closet to the dressers circling the room trying to find something to wear; you’ll be having a conversation with him the whole time and after you walk past him for the 4th time his clinginess gets the best of him and he catches you by the waist before you can fully bypass him; he pulls you in between his legs and just hugs you to him for a few moments while you run your hands through his hair

follows you around the house with his mic serenading you like three times a week

comes behind you when you’re cooking or washing dishes or something and just pats at your butt for a while and by a while i mean he won’t stop until you elbow him and threaten to cut his hands off; he just laughs and gets one more grope in before backing off

traces the contours of your face and murmurs all kinds of cute and lovely and cheesy stuff about you when you’re both in bed and he thinks you’re sleep

if you made him a good meal you’d hear about it constantly for the next week; like every other sentence is a “seriously, it was so good” and he won’t stop until you make it again; sometimes he’ll try making it himself to see if he could do better but it always tastes best coming from you

an absolute menace in the grocery store; will spend the first 15-20 minutes behaving as he grabs whatever he needs personally and once that's done he's acting a fool; doing that thing that kids do when they use the cart as a skateboard like push off on it and then hop on to ride out the wave; grabbing all kinds of junk that neither of you need; touching everything even when he has no intention of buying it; you have to grab his ear and threaten him with celibacy to get him to calm down

whenever you’re sitting next to each other could be on the couch out at dinner in bed etc he likes to play with your hand and fiddle with your ring; will often slide it off and try to fit the ring on his fingers; then he’ll put it back on and kiss your fingertips for safekeeping

a/n: i worked on this for months and months and now it’s finally here lemme know what u thought 😩🙏

[fromxxthexxashes]

One thing I learned in my screenwriting class is that things and details put into film/TV are intentional. Leave aside misplaced coffee cups, boom mics, and sneakers, everything that ends up in the final cut is important. As we learned with 7x06, time is an incredibly limited commodity, and sometimes things get cut. That means that whatever shots/scenes/moments end up being in the final edit are there for a reason. With that being said, I think it’s incredibly interesting that Eddie is being included - narratively, blocking, and camera framing-wise - in Buck’s journey with discovering his sexuality and his relationship with Tommy.

For one, why choose Eddie to befriend Tommy? They could have easily had Chimney hang out with Tommy, seeing as they already knew each other. But they choose Eddie, and they choose to have Buck spend the entire episode talking about Eddie. Why include confusion regarding whose attention Buck was really trying to get? Why show Buck coming to this conclusion that he was trying to get Tommy’s attention, but also show Buck talking about Eddie and peacocking in front of Eddie so consistently in 7x04? Why choose Eddie to be the one to interrupt the BuckTommy date? Why have Buck spend all of 7x05 more worried about lying to Eddie than about his failed date with Tommy? Why put so much time and emphasis on Buck’s coming out to Eddie? Why insert Eddie so obviously into Buck’s sexuality storyline, when they could be giving that precious screen time to Tommy?

In 7x06, Eddie comes in, proudly dressed up in the matching costume he suggested he and Buck wear. Right after Eddie comes in, Tommy enters wearing the most boring clothes anyone can wear to a party. Not only that, but Buck told him that there was an 80s theme, and he put in no effort to adhere to said theme. He was even dismissive about it, and Buck was clearly a little disappointed about it.

For one, why have Eddie show up first? They could have given that time to Tommy to enter first and develop that relationship if they really wanted the audience to root for them. Instead, they highlighted, once again this season, the relationship and effortless dynamic between Buck and Eddie. For another, why make such a big deal of Tommy being the odd one out, while vocally addressing the fact that Buck and Eddie are literally wearing matching costumes? They didn’t have to be matching, they could have worn any 80s costume. But they choose to dress these two in the attire of two characters in a TV show who are queer-coded partners and best friends.

Why show Eddie being arguably petty and jealous, with Tommy in that scene? Why frame him in the middle of them, why focus on Eddie’s reactions to Buck and Tommy? They could have focused and Buck and Tommy together and individually, but they chose to show Eddie right there in the middle and in the background.

And after Tommy leaves, do you know who stays? Do you know who is the only one that stays? Oh, yeah, it’s Eddie. It’s Eddie who easily goes along with Buck’s shenanigans. It’s Eddie that Buck clings to all night at the bachelor party. It’s Eddie that Buck shares most of his screen time with. They had to cut out 30 minutes of content for 7x06, yet they purposely included Eddie’s reaction to Buck coming out, when we already had his reaction. They could have included any number of people who we hadn’t seen react, but they chose to pan from Buck to Eddie.

They could give screen time to both Buck and Eddie’s current respective romantic partners, but they chose to give screen time to Buck and Eddie, consistently. Why keep making these choices to include Eddie in this storyline, and give precious screen time to that inclusion, if there is no intention to take it somewhere?

It’s all intentional, how they’re including Eddie. It’s all intentional how they keep showing us the relationship between Buck and Eddie. They’re subtly weaving in these moments, shots, comments, and scenes with Eddie and with Buck with the purpose of leading somewhere with Buddie as something more. It’s the same thing they did with Buck’s bisexuality. Now we look back at all the subtext and the little nods, and think “We were right” or “Oh, that makes sense”. They’re doing it with Buddie, too, and I think they have been for a while. They’re doing it so they can introduce this long-term friendship-to-romance arc in a way that is well-built and developed. They’re doing it so we could look back, and think “Oh, yeah, this has been developing this whole time”. They’re doing it so casual fans can be gradually warmed up and conditioned for Buddie, and for the more dedicated fans to notice, pick apart, and cling to. If they didn’t want us to root for Buck and Eddie they wouldn’t keep intentionally choosing to frame them as two people with an incredibly close bond that continuously overshadows their respective relationships. They’re writing and filming in this way so they can have these little, and sometimes not so little, moments to build on when they finally go somewhere romantic with Buck and Eddie.

[lovesickonmybed]

crazy fuckin' phenomenon | 18+

masterlist | info about palestine | donate to gaza

pairing | dbf!joel miller x reader

synopsis | after your dad abandons joel to watch instagram reels in the bathroom, an argument over the remote ends in a new discovery

warnings | excessive use of bigfoot as a plot device, dbf!joel, explicit sexual content, smut, age gap (20s/late 30s), play fighting with sexual tension, wedgies, humiliation, degradation, kink discovery, semi brat tamer!joel, almost getting caught, blue balls

word count | 2030

a/n | this was co-written with one of my favorite people ever but they wish to remain anonymous! this was so so so fun to work on and i think it really shows. i urge you to not buy any of the last of us games, including the remaster as the creator, neil druckmann is a zionist. the second game is based off of the israeli occupation in palestine and you can learn more about that here.

“Joel I swear to fucking god if I have to watch one more episode of Finding Bigfoot, I’m clawing my eyes out.”

There’s only so much bickering between Matt Moneymaker and Ranae Holland that you can take, and apparently, you’ve found your limit. Approximately five minutes. Joel had come over to hang out with your father, they had planned to watch some war movie because they’re fucking old, but, in typical dad fashion, your father had gotten up halfway through to use the bathroom. After 30 minutes, Joel couldn’t wait anymore and switched the TV to Animal Planet so he could watch Finding Bigfoot reruns. That was two hours ago, and you’ve now spent an hour on the couch with Joel, pleading for him to change it. Of course, your TV decides to stop working the one time your dad actually wants to use the living room TV. So, yeah, you can be a little bit of a drama queen.

“If you can drag your old man off ‘a the shitter, we can go back to watchin’ Come and See. Three fuckin’ hours, startin’ to think he pulled an Elvis.”

“Seriously, Joel,” you bellyache, slumping back into the couch. “Dunno why they’re looking for Bigfoot when he’s clearly right fucking here.” You shoot him a glare from across the couch.

“Uh huh,” Joel drones, either not listening or either not giving a fuck while he watches one of the camouflaged hosts do a shitty imitation of a sasquatch mating call.

Well, since he’s distracted…

With the stealth of a super spy, you lunge over Joel’s lap towards the side table, reaching past discarded beer bottles and hunting magazines for the hijacked remote. You snatch it right up, victorious for a few seconds at most.

“Now what in the hell do you think you’re doin’? Gonna put on fuckin’ Euphoria or something?” You don’t have time to come up with a witty response before you’re pinned down to the couch cushions. Joel’s hulking form hangs over you, shoulders broad and his hair messy as he gives you a smug look. Cursing the cavewoman part of you that gets butterflies in your stomach from how easily he overpowers you, you writhe underneath him.

“Joel what the fuck? Get off me you old fuck!” You groan, grunting in frustration as you try to maneuver Joel off of you. You’re weak as shit but you remember something from the self defense class you took in high school. You knee Joel in the chest, causing him to fall back, giving you a chance to roll off the couch and onto your knees. You look back as he coughs and gasps, trying to catch his breath. 

“Oh you little shit!” Joel groans, getting off the couch and looming over you like a killer in a slasher fic. He smirks down at you, tilting his head to the side like Micheal Myers.

You feel your heart start to race and your cunt start to pulse. You turn back and start to crawl away but Joel leans down and grabs your ankle, pulling you back to him. You definitely feel like you’re in a slasher film now. 

“Oh sweetheart, you’re not gettin’ away that easily…needa stop acting like such a little brat. Your daddy was never that good at discipline.”

You don’t know what you’re expecting. But Joel’s warm hands sneaking down the waistband of your denim cutoffs is not it. You cry out as his fingers loop around your purple thong, drawing it midway up your back. Pain sears up your ass, and much more dangerous, pleasure tingles in your cunt when the front of your thong slips between your folds. Kicking your legs, you smack your palm into the carpet underneath you. “Joel!” you gasp out in surprise.

Maddeningly, Joel chuckles at your struggle underneath him. He shifts to straddle your upper thighs, weighing you down even more. “What, ain’t ever had a wedgie before?” Another sharp tug makes your head drop to the floor. You fight not to give into your body’s base desire to arch your back. “With how often you run your mouth, I’m surprised your friends never ran you up the flagpole in the schoolyard.”

You scrunch your fingers in the fiber of the carpet, trying to anchor yourself to anything other than the searing pain in your ass and cunt. It doesn’t work. You can’t focus on anything but this cruel and unusual punishment. Your dad’s best friend, wedgieing you into obedience.

Somehow, he pulls even harder. All of that contracting work isn’t for nothing. You’re silently moaning now, mouth open and your forehead dipped to the floor, desperate pants flying in and out of your mouth. “Hmmm,” he hums. “Wonder if I could get these over your head. Bet you’d have an easier time watchin’ my show with that.”

“Please,” you rasp. Your brain wants you to beg for him to let you go. Your cunt wants you to beg for him to be meaner. To go all the way and snap them over your head, leaving you ass up and face down, split in half for his enjoyment. You short circuit before you can get any further into the plea, because he’s pulling your panties even higher in brutal bursts.

“Begging ain’t gonna help, honey. You’ve made your bed, now lie in it.”

The waistband gets halfway up your neck before Joel gives up. The tension in your body lessons as you melt into the floor. “You ain’t off the hook yet, missy,” Joel says, smirk evident in his voice.

He guides your arms through the leg holes of your panties, and you moan helplessly as he snaps them over your shoulders, leaving you in the equivalent of a wedgie bodysuit. You feel like you’re being split in half.

You can’t help it. You roll your hips, grinding into your panties and the floor. The pressure is everywhere and it’s perfect. Perfect against your burning asshole, your leaking cunt, and your throbbing clit. Every movement also propels you up against Joel, something you can’t even bring yourself to remember right now. You’re wet – unbelievably fucking wet. “What the hell are you doing to me?” you whine, still humping the floor as heat blossoms in your core.

Joel stiffens above you. “Are you…” He clears his throat, a rough noise. “Are you fuckin’ into this?”

The question alone makes you whimper.

Every rock of your hips has the wedgie slicing deeper, pulling you apart piece by piece from your most sensitive place. You arch your back properly, that way every time you go up, you can feel Joel’s bulge against your rear. Joel’s quickly hardening bulge as he watches you lose all of your dignity while humping the floor with your panties rammed up your ass.

“Shut the fuck up, Joel! I’m not into this…I just-” He cuts you off by flicking the string of your thong. Tellingly, you moan out.

“Just what? Just get off on getting split in half by your fuckin’ panties?”

You try to speak but he shoves you forward, pressing your face against the carpet and pinning you down, “Just shut your mouth, don’t want your daddy findin’ ya like this do ya? God, just imagine what he’d say…. Seein’ his precious ‘lil girl gettin’ all wet from a well-deserved wedgie up these plump fuckin’ cheeks.” His hand glides down between your ass cheeks and slaps against your denim-covered bottom. You jolt, moaning where he’s pressing your face into the carpet. You’ll be surprised if your drool isn’t soaking it.

“Joooooel,” you pout, still fighting underneath him. You kick your feet, and they barely graze the small of Joel’s back, a sort of flexibility you can’t afford very much of right now. “Can’t… can’t take much more. Hurts.”

“I’ll tell you what you can take, you little brat. You’re lucky you’re not hangin’ up by these,” Joel grabs the waistband of your light wash denim shorts, using it to lift you up off the floor while you grasp at the carpet in a poor attempt to stay on the ground. 

It doesn’t work. Joel hauls you up, grabbing the front and back of your wedgie. You can’t stop yourself from moaning again, dimly away that your dad is still in the bathroom and still could walk out at any given time. You hope Joel’s good ear can hear if the toilet flushes, because you can’t hear a damn thing over your own pulse rocketing in your ears.

He yanks the back of your thong, and then the front, effectively flossing your ass crack and cunt. Your hands fly down to your thighs, but it’s not like you can do anything, because the next thing Joel does is lift you fully off the ground. You cry out, hastily clamping a hand over your mouth, and decide three things back to back to back.

One – fuck Joel Miller.

Two – fuck Joel Miller.

Three – you might actually really like this.

The third one you realize when you look down to see your arousal seeping through the denim. The humiliation stings on your cheeks with a sort of heat you’ve never felt in your life. He bounces you in the damn thing, pulling you up and down with a strength you’d never fathomed he could have.

You can’t stop yourself from grinding down when he brings you up, pulling your panties even deeper into your ass and cunt. You whine and grab at Joel’s forearm for purchase, nearly fucking yourself against the thin fabric that’s cutting you in half. Joel’s satisfaction at it all, the way you can feel him getting sadistically hard behind you from your cocktail of pain and pleasure, is what truly makes it for you. You buck against your panties even harder, letting out a truly ragged moan when it brushes your clit just right.

“You’re taking this so good, ain’t even cryin’ or nothin’. Should I hang you up? Get your eyes just as wet as your cunt? Could you even take it, or are you gonna cream your pretty little panties before I even get you on a hook?”

The answer is yes – you are going to cream your panties before he gets you on a hook.

Your orgasm rips through you violently, lighting you on fire as you hang in suspension and just take it. Ass burning and your cunt dripping like Niagara Falls, you clench and grind on your panties as desperately as you can to prolong your orgasm. Your eyes water, heart beating out of control. Joel’s hand cups your mound, heel rubbing against where your clit pulses. You’re still tremoring by the time you come down. Everything feels like it’s in technicolor, easily marking the most powerful orgasm of your life.

You realize Joel has deposited you back on the ground. It’s a miracle you’re even standing at all with how limp-boned you are. Chest rising and falling, you stumble back around to face Joel, whose cock is straining against his jeans. You’re about to put him out of his misery, not even taking the time to pick your wedgie as your hand flies towards his belt when you hear it –

Wooooooooshgluglgulglug.

You take your wedgie out like you’re racing to get rid of a ticking time bomb, frantically yanking it down your shoulders and tucking the strings into your waistband. Still burning up from your orgasm, blatantly freshly fucked, you give Joel a half-apologetic look (he had given you a hellish wedgie, after all) and scamper upstairs.

You barely acknowledge your dad as you brush past him. “Hey sweetie, goin’ back up?”

“Mhm,” you get out, almost tripping up the stairs.

“Hm, wonder what’s wrong with her,” you hear your dad reflect to Joel.

“No idea,” Joel says.

You’re about to close your door when you hear more commentary from downstairs. Your dad’s voice. “Woah there, man. Got a thing for bigfoot?”

Your eyebrows shoot to your goddamn hairline as your heartbeat spikes and your brain fills in the gaps.

“Fear boners, crazy fuckin’ phenomenon,” Joel says, just as casual as ever. Yeah. Crazy fucking phenomenon is right.

[w2soneshots]

20vs1 -W2S

words: 1.3k

warnings: none.

summary: you are asked to be on the sidemen’s 20vs1.

Liked by sidemen and 901,452 others

y/username: guess what I'm filming today🤫

-comments-

y/nfanpage21: ooo I'm excited to find out❤️

user30781614: SIDEMEN LIKED OMFG🤭

-> user91368481: y/n x sidemen ahh!!!

A month ago... "Rach!" I shouted through my apartment. "Ye?" my roommate Rachel shouted before appearing in my doorway. "Do you know who the sidemen are?" I asked her. "Yes, they're massive on YouTube, why?" She replied plonking herself next to me on the bed. "They just asked me to be in one of their videos." She shot upright "what! Did you say yes?" She asked excitedly. "Umm, I haven't replied yet, are they weirdo's?" I asked since she knew of them. She laughed aloud "no I don't think so." she said with a giggle. "It says they want me to film a "twenty versus one", what's that?" I said flipping my phone around to show her the email. "That's a series, they do, let me just show you." she grabbed the control and flipped on my tv.

That night I went through a rabbit hole, researching these people. I wanted to make sure they weren't creeps before agreeing to be in a their video. They had a pretty massive following and there videos were entertaining. I eventually decided it'd be fun so agreed to be in the video. When I told Rach she was ridiculously excited.

Today is the day of the shoot. All I'd been given was a location and a time, so I got up early to get ready. I took a shower, dried and straightened my hair, did my makeup (adding extra powder so I wouldn't shine in the studio lights) then got dressed into a black, tight play suit, an oversized denim jacket and some black four inch heeled boots. Once I was finished I sprayed myself with my favourite perfume, grabbed my bag and left my apartment.

After a 30 minute drive my uber finally pulled up outside the filming location which just looked like a large building. I thanked him and slid out of the car. Just as I was walking towards the front entrance I was greeted by a woman who said her name was Tanya and that she was the head of production. "She seems nice" I thought as she led me inside. She brought me to a green room with multiple other women, and a table with drinks and food. I sat down on one of the chairs. "wait, are you y/n y/l/n?!" One of the girls asked me. I nodded "yep, that's me." I replied with a light smile. "Omg I love your vlogs!" She announced excitedly. "Thank you!" I said appreciatively.

Almost 20 minutes later all twenty of us were taken through into a small hallway, and formed into a queue. I was sixth and when it was my turn I walked out and stood on the marked spot on the white floor. "Hi, how are you?" I asked who I learned from my stalking was Harry. "Not great to be honest." he replied, clearly not enjoying this shoot. I laughed slightly "just breathe." I said breathing deeply in and out. He copied my actions and did the same. He smiled "yes." he said, flicking his hand towards the door then I heard a cheer from another room. "Thank you." I said politely and walked off the set.

Ten minutes later everyone was sent back into the room and we all stood in an oval shape facing the camera. Then Harry walked in and greeted us "hello everyone, I said yes to way too many people so if you don't like me please- leave." he chuckled then turned around to face the camera. Five people left leaving nine of us. Harry opened his eyes and turned back around "I'll take that, I'll take that, I'll take that, I'll take that," he repeated quickly "thank you very much. alright, I'll see you shortly, I guess." Then he left and all of us were taken back to the green room.

I sat there for well over two hours waiting, since I was the last one. Once it was finally my turn, I was taken back to the studio, by Tanya. "You'll do great!" she said with a light pat on my back just before I entered the room. I was reattached to a mic and then told to sit down on the comfy looking chair. Harry entered a few minutes later and I stood up to greet him with a hug. "Hello again, sorry you've been waiting so long." he said politely, before sitting down. I smiled "no problem." He took a breath in "so what's your name?" "y/n." I replied. "And what do you do?" He asked. "For fuck sake I hate this question" I thought. "I do YouTube." I replied. His eyes lit up slightly "oh, what kind of videos do you make?" He asked, sitting forward in his chair. "Vlogs, beauty stuff, outfits, that kind of thing." I said counting them on my fingers. "Oh cool." he said with a nod of his head.

The date lasted just under 15 minutes. From the video Rach showed me it seemed that these weren't just normal dates but it felt completely normal to me... actually in the other video there was one date where the man was just told to be himself, so maybe that was what was happening. We talked about what both of our favourite movies were, we found out we both lived in London and when I asked if he was into football he explained that that was what his YouTube channel was based off, along with an online game to do with football.

Once the date finished, we hugged goodbye and he left. Then I was asked two questions by the main camera man: what I thought about him and if I would go on another date. "I thought he was a really sweet and seemed interested in our convo. I will definitely go on another date with him." and as I said those words, I heard in eruption of cheers in another room, which Tanya had now explained was the other members of the sidemen watching the dates. I laughed slightly then stood up. I quickly had my mic taken off, then went to collect my things from the green room. As I was grabbing my things Tanya popped back into the room to ask me something, "the boys were just wondering if you could come and see them so they could thank you for coming." she asked. I smiled "of course."

She took me through a corridor, and then down a smaller hallway and into a room. There was a group of boys stood up in front of around six TVs that I assumed they had been watching the dates on. "Hey, nice to meet you, thanks for coming!" who I knew to be JJ said putting his hand out for a handshake. I shook his hand and said "thank you for having me." They all introduced themselves to me and we stood talking for a few minutes. Just before I left I heard my name "y/n!" I turned around to see Harry stood in front of me "I was just wondering... if it was okay with you, I could get your number?" he asked. I smiled "sure." He passed me his phone I typed my phone number in. "there." I said, passing his phone back to him. "thank you." he said with a sheepish smile. I waved the other boys goodbye before I left the building.

The next day, I got a text from Harry asking if he could take me out on a "second" date, and obviously I said yes.

[cixteenyne]

Alright, I just thought of something really dirty so it's okay if u don't want to write and ignore it - but imagine being the perfect slut for some My Hero Academia guys 👀

Like, always being available for them to use your body, no matter what day or time it is. To the point where they got addicted to you and don't want any other pussy but yours, where their favorite topic of conversation is about how good you feel and how you're always tight despite getting fucked every day, whether it's just for a single cock, two or all at once.

I think it would be interesting if you write short drabbles for each guy, for example:

Monday, 7:30 PM: Doggy style with Kaminari while he films it

Wednesday, 9:21 PM: Spend hours sucking Kirishima's monster cock

Friday, 6:10 AM: Nothing better than starting the day that morning sex with Monoma after fucking you just last night

Sunday, 11:45 PM: The weekend ends and deserves to end with rough sex in a threesome with Todoroki and Bakugo

And so with the boys that you want and the ideas that comes to your mind :) sorry for my english btw and thanks! 🌝

Ok! this will be a multiple part thing, it wont be quick, ill just kind of do it when im not tired (im always tired). but! here is part one! Sundayyyy, with bakugou and Todoroki (i kept alternated between shoto and Todoroki so my baaaad)

Content warning(s): Cunnilingus, Kinda Poly? idk they all like you, Threesomes, Face fucking, Dacryphilia, throat fucking, wrote this at 3AM, so don't expect mind blowing (get it?) smut.

Ah, Sunday...

A rather relaxing day, if you said so yourself, no classes, nothing to do all day. Maybe for you that was true, but Todoroki was in a bit of a pickle, and if Todoroki has a problem, he's going to make it someone else's.

That “someone else” happened to be Bakugou.

This is always how it starts, todoroki gets horny, so he riles up some other friend of his, and then they both come to you, this time he managed to work up Bakugou enough to come see you.

You knew exactly how he did it, too.

He would sit next to someone in the common room, and talk about tons of downright disgusting things he would do to you, he knows they’ll always agree with him, to take you apart with him.

Sure Shoto was oblivious about many things, the effect he had on others, more or less. But he wasn't oblivious about the effect his words had on the other guys in the dorms. All he had to do was say something with pretty packaging, involving you in some way, and Midoriya was already packing a boner and ready to come see you, or Kaminari was already stalking his way towards your room, and Bakugou was already stomping in front of him to get to your door,

To say you could hear them coming from a mile away was an understatement.

Which is why you should have expected to be bent over by someone like him. Like bakugou.

He was hogging you, but Shoto didn't seem to mind, content to scheme while Bakugou marked and prepared you. He was planning to have you take both of them in some way, he just needed a minute to think is all.

The second he was done with your back, biting it up and leaving evidence of himself all over you, he flipped you over to mark up that pretty throat of yours, licking and sucking up the column of your neck.

The noises were obscene and purposeful, he wanted you to hear how much of a mess he was making of your skin, he wanted you to hear the marks, not just see them.

Bakugou began to let up, taking a breather as Todoroki took the chance to hog you for himself, Bakugou scoffing at his eagerness.

Todoroki kissed over top of bakugou’s marks, soothed them with the kiss of a sweetheart, Shoto had a way of ruining you without making it look like he was, he could be destroying you, leaving you no room to do anything but hiccup and cry as he shushed you into a whimpering mess, and as long as he smiled like that, it would look like he was doing nothing wrong,and could do no wrong.

He could blow up a village on live TV and cover it with a smile, and everyone would convince themselves it was CGI, despite having been there to witness it.

He began to undress you, his lips ghosting over your body, over each piece of skin revealed, his hands running up your sides, sliding the shirt off of you, the more your stomach was revealed the further his lips followed, finishing the route with a kiss on your abdomen.

He didn't want you to look away from him, was he staring this whole time?

He never broke his gaze, not even as Bakugou slid his frame beside you to kiss at your neck, not liking being left out. Not even as he slipped his lithe fingers into your waistband and pulled down, not even as his tongue poked out to taste his prize, only ever closing once he got what he wanted.

His mouth closed around his tongue. Around your clit.

The moan that left you is always what he chases after.

Bakugou did want you to forget about him, so if you had his cock in your mouth, that would make it impossible for you to forget he's here, since you seem so enamored with ‘Icy-hot’ over there. He grumbled, getting his hips in your face, he palmed himself through his pants at your moans, he almost felt bad for Todoroki, he was going to have to muffle you. Almost.

He reached into his pants, tugging his painfully erect cock out, never stopping the slow strokes of his hand.

He threw his head back as he stroked himself in front of your face, his head rolling to the side, leering at you through his lashes.

“Open”

Was all he had to say for you to immediately obey as best as you could while todoroki ate like an animal. Bakugou slid his cock into your mouth slowly feeling the slickness of you mouth, leaving a moan falling from his lips as he advanced into your throat, slamming in so suddenly and without warning, you gagged and teared up, that pretty glittery look in your eyes, all because of him, it had precum dripped from his tip just looking at you.

He thrusted into your throat, shaking your body- pushing you into Todoroki, into his mouth.

You were so close, so, so close.

But then Todoroki stopped, a satisfied sigh falling from his lips, like a job well done.

That smile was back as he started leaning over you, watching you take Bakugou's cock up close as Shoto fiddled with his belt, seemingly in no rush to get it off.

He wanted you to hear him taking it off as best you could, he wanted to make you heat up in anticipation, maybe even in fear. As long as you linked it to him.

His belt clinked and clanked against itself as he undid it, leaning back, retreating with his hand sliding down your body as he left your face, he was going to need both hands for this.

Bakugou on one end, and he on the other, this was just too perfect.

His cock springing free, seemingly magnetizing towards your pussy, you could barely see shoto as bakugou used your face like a fleshlight, but shoto didn't mind, he wanted to keep you as oblivious as possible, this would do.

He walked up, placing a hand on your hips and immediately pushing inside of you, your eyes blown wide as you didn't expect him of all people to be so sudden with you, not even giving you a second of rest, he places both of his hands on your hips and snaps his hips as he pulls you back and forth on his cock, forcing you to meet in the middle.

Your moans were muffled by Bakugou and the sound of his balls slapping against your face, and todoroki slipping in and out of your pussy, making sure he was absolutely relentless with his hips.

His hands moving from your hips to your waist as he tries to ground himself, his eyes squeezing closed as you squeezed his cock lifeless, milking him for all he's worth,

He knew he was gonna cum soon, Bakugou was too.

You'd already came, Shoto knew that, that's why he kept going.

To see the whites of your eyes get bigger and bigger as your pupils rolled into the back of your head, unable to think as they both used you for everything you had, as they fucked their feelings into you.

He almost didn't want to stop even after he came, Bakugou didn't either.

Bakugou didn't want those other extras to have their turn with you, they didn't deserve you like he did. The thought made his hips snap faster and his head roll.

But he knew they all had to share.

You could barely think of them as you were reduced to brain mush, all except what the others had in store for Monday.

(Do not copy or translate anywhere! ask first lmao. Yes, you can still reblog bbg aha)

[walkawaytall]

Fannish Year Review - 2023

snagged from @diplomaticprincess

1. your main fandom of the year: Star Wars -- after like three years of feeling way-too-sensitive about the series, I decided to take that whole Marie Kondo approach to fandom: keep what brings you joy and throw the rest into an active volcano (or...something like that. It's been a minute since I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, but I'm sure that's an accurate synopsis that Marie would be totally fine with on her book's dust jacket). And then I started writing fanfiction, which has been fun.

Though...though...I did revisit The Hunger Games this year and made my bestie into an HG fan, so that series has certainly played a part.

2. have u watched a film this year: I've only been to theaters twice this year -- once for the Return of the Jedi 40th anniversary rerelease, once to see Barbie. I don't think I've watched many new things this year, to be honest. Mainly rewatches.

3. your favorite book this year: Oof, my reading list is embarrassingly short this year. Probably Nine Liars by @maureenjohnsonbooks. It's the 5th book in a YA mystery series and love that entire dang series so much.

4. your favorite album or song this year:

Album: Stick Season by Noah Kahan

Song: Probably "Happier Than Ever" by Billie Eilish, but I'm honestly not certain

5. your favorite tv shows this year: I think I rewatched Severance twice this year, so...Haaaa...

6. your favorite tumblr community this year: Han/Leia, but I also follow some Little Women accounts that I've quite enjoyed.

7. your best new fandom discovery of the year: I did start watching Ted Lasso, but kind of forgot about it, though the show is delightful. I feel like I've been very hyperfocused on Star Wars stuff this year tbh.

8. your biggest fandom disappointment of the year: You know what, I rarely hate on specific ships publicly, but having one of my posts in which I was spitballing a headcanon involving Tarkin and Leia having an absurd rivalry while she was like 16-19 years old that was similar in tone to Jack Donaghy and Kaylie Hooper from 30 Rock (a relationship that is entirely not sexual on account of Kaylie being fifteen when she first pops up on the show) reblogged multiple times with Leia/Tarkin shipping tags might just have been the most disappointing fandom-related thing to happen to me personally this year. I don't even know if this is the type of answer the question was looking for, but uh...it was definitely the most disappointing.

9. your tv/movie boyfriend and/or girlfriend of the year: I'm...not entirely sure how to answer this tbh.

10. your biggest squee moment of the year: I've received a lot of really nice comments on my stories this year, but there have been a handful left where I really felt...seen? if that makes sense. Like, the commenters wrote something where I felt like someone fully understood what I was trying to do, which doesn't always happen, and those have definitely been exciting moments for me.

Self-service tagging today!

[pernillemagda]

From the danish podcast "bag om trøjen" with Pernille Harder an Katrine Veje

I have finally listed to the whole podcast, and have tried to translate most of the podcast, not word by word, but just overall what they said, I know it's a bit long 😅

It was recorded back in February

The things in this color is the best parts (at least what I think)

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Talking about club

03:52 - It's only in Denmark I'm called Harder, everywhere else I'm called P

04:20 - How much do the shirts mean for you Veje?

explains that she only wants to switch her NT jersey with "bigger" teams and not teams like Azerbaijan and Malta. They mean a lot to her. But she never says no.

10:30 - Pernille picks up Veje's Arsenal shirt "ew, I don't think I can do this"

05:20 How much do the shirts mean for you Pernille?

- "My shirts, or the one I swap to"

- They all bring up some good memories.

- It's often in the final rounds that I switch as there are some of the "better" teams

- The one I'm probably the happiest about is Marta da Silva, I think it was in 2012, she also wears number 10. She is one of my biggest idols as a kid.

17:45 - Talking about the FA Cup on 5 December 2021 winning over Veje

13:30 - How was your start in Chelsea

- There was a big pressure as I was the most expensive player and just was named UEFA player of the year, but I think it was pretty well

Talking about worst/toughest player

19:20 - Pernille is asked first, the host and Veje think she's thinking about Troelsgaard as she says it's a teammate, but then she says it's Millie Bright.

- She's just going 100 percent in the tackles no matter if she gets the ball or not. She trains like she plays games. So sometimes you get to feel what she’s capable of

Katrines time in Montpellier

20:10 - Veje is next

- Troelsgaard must be the thought, she also trains as the play's games but has become better over the years

Listeners questions

21:30 - Before we went to the euro's 2017 i signed with Montpellier. I had a good start, played well and came on the world's top 100 list. Then there is a meeting just after the summer where she is told that some English clubs are interested in her and then the club starts not to treat her well.

- At a time, she trained with the U19 team, which was low, she felt it was kind of a punishment.

- Today when she's thinking bad, she still has good memories and good friends. It's not only bad things, but of course they still are there.

- She remembers a friendly against Barcelona where she starts out, then come on the field to play 12 minutes and was taken out again

- She learned a lot in that time and how to handle it. It was a tough time mentally and she considered stopping her career as it wasn't fun at all.

- At the U19 team, she was in the matchday squad, bet then they just take her shirt in front of her and put it back in the bag.

- (Harder interrupts) I don't know how they can treat people like that, it's inhuman, just because they heard she might be interested in moving on in her career to a new club

28:00 - Which shirt would be the biggest to swap to

- Pernille: It's hard to say, in the club we don't have shirts to swap them away, we mostly only have one. But I have the one I want the most.

- 28:55 - I swapped once with Megan Rapinoe and that is the one, I'm the happiest about

Talking early days/debuts with the NT

29:40 - What is it like to experience the development women's football is undergoing

- Pernille, there has happened so much in the last five years, people have started to be more interested and especially the TV streams have become a lot better, in the past, the matches were only filmed with a hand-held camera from one angle and then it is clear that people found it boring to watch women's football. It is something that has irritated me a lot. So, I'm happy that, that part is becoming better.

32:35 - Do you remember your debuts

- Pernille, I think it was a good game to have a debut against, I scored a hat trick and there also was another debutant who did that as well

33:50 - Talking about shirt numbers at NT

33:20 - Pernille

- I played Right back in a pretty important Worldcup playoff match against Switzerland (host: how did what go) well I was put as an attacking midfielder in the second half, I think that says it all about my performance 😂 and i have never played back since

Euros 2017

36:20 Veje had a chance where she was totally alone in front of the goal, without the goalkeeper. She then shot over the goal, and one of the teammates just yells "what the h*ll are you doing"

24:30 - The semifinal was postponed

- Veje, when we were warming up the ball didn't move at all, we have to chip the ball to each other.

- We went down to the changing room and our clothes got tumble-dried, at this time the game wasn't postponed to the day after yet, just a later kickoff.

- Pernille, when we were waiting for the game to start, I remember talking to a club teammate and the game was still not postponed

- Then we go out and warm up for a second time and after that warmup, we were told that the game had been moved to the day after, and I just thought "okay, then let's just go home and sleep" 😂

38:00 - Because of the later kickoff Denmark had packed their bags beforehand, and Germany hadn't

40:30 - After the tournament, my girlfriend and I went on vacation, I was mentally and physically exhausted and she told me I was the most boring to be on vacation with, we didn't do anything, and I just walked around in my own thoughts

38:30 - The final

- Pernille, the final was a special feeling. We were all exhausted, but still proud of what we had achieved

42:22 - Snoring

- Sofie Junge snores and we were roomies under the euro's 2017

- Pernille also sleeps with earplugs at home because Magda snores and takes very deep breaths, and it annoys her too much to not have them in. I think I have become addicted to them when I sleep alone today, I still sleep with earplugs

[jeonginssa]

I Swear I’ll Never Leave Again | W.JH

Part Five - “Do I have murder vibes?”

Author’s note: this update took longer than the others whoops

Word count: 1.1k (ish)

Content/genre: nonidol jun, jun x reader, lisa (blackpink) is bestie goals, fluff, heavy angst, office romance

Trigger/content warnings: swearing, mentions of domestic abuse (jeonghan is the abuser, so sorry jeonghan, i love you, i swear🥲), let me know if there’s any i missed

Taglist: open

@fairygirl18 @seyoungparkk

*****

You opened your eyes and just caught Junhui looking away from you. It was darker than you had expected and he had put a lamp on instead of the ceiling light.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t know if I should wake you,” he spoke softly.

“What time is it?” Your voice a little croaky from sleep and you never did get round to drinking that smoothie.

“9:30,” if you didn’t know any better you’d say he looked a little anxious.

“I should probably get home, thanks for everything, sorry I didn’t get any work done today.”

Junhui hesitated. He looked like he wanted to say something but he just stood there looking uncomfortable while you stood up to gather your things.

“I think…”

“Hmm?”

“I think, maybe you should stay… if you want, if you’d feel comfortable… you don’t have to. It’s just your car is still at work and you went through a lot last night and you’ve been so tired. Anyway, you don’t have to it was just…”

“I’ll stay.”

“You will?” He breathed.

You nodded. “It’s late.” There was so much more you wanted to say but you couldn’t find the words. It used to feel like you didn’t need to speak when you were with Junhui, like you could read one another’s minds but now after so many years, it was different. Or at least it seemed it.

“I’m sure you’re not tired,” he chuckles, “do you want to watch a movie or something?”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“Ah, I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” he winked and you involuntarily giggled. A blush rose to his cheeks and you suppressed a smile. How is he hot AND cute? He should be studied.

“Speaking of that, I should probably text Lisa and tell her I’m not dead.” He laughed and gestured for you to do just that.

You had turned your phone off when you got into Junhui’s car. Mostly just because you were so exhausted even your phone buzzing felt too loud. It came back to life and you had ten messages from Lisa.

Hey are you coming back?

Hello?

I’ll take that as a no?

Did you at least get home okay?

Helloooooo

Are you ignoring me?

LN YN

You’re making me worried

If you don’t reply by 10pm I’m calling the boss

I hope he didnt murder you because that wouldn’t help then…

You scoffed and Junhui raised a questioning eyebrow, you showed him the texts and he laughed.

“Do I have murder vibes?” Junhui donned his best scary face and you completely lost it.

“You couldn’t be scary if you tried!”

“I think you’ll find I could!”

“Unless being adorable starts becoming lethal I think you’re overestimating yourself.”

“Hey, I am n- … wait a minute”

“What?” You nervously put your hands in your sleeves.

“Well, now who’s adorable?” He smirked, gaze focused on your sweater paws.

“I’ve always been adorable.”

“Oh, so I haven’t?”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“This isn’t putting a film on, is it?”

“I guess not, what do you want to watch?”

“Mmm, something where I don’t have to think.” Junhui paused for a moment trying to think of something you would like.

“Oh, I have just the thing! It’s not technically a film though, is that okay?”

“I don’t think it matters, we’ll probably end up talking through it anyway,” you smiled and noticed that you had smiled around Junhui today more than you have genuinely smiled in the past year with Jeonghan. While you were thinking Junhui had already turned on the tv and found what he was looking for. “You’re insane.”

“Thank you.” You both laughed as the title sequence for Ancient Aliens was displayed on the screen. When the laughter faded you couldn’t help but suddenly be aware of how much distance was between you and Junhui… and how much you wanted him to close that distance. Everything inside of you was screaming for him to hold you and tell you that everything was going to be okay because you were his now, employee or not but clearly he couldn’t read your mind like the old days or if he could he had a different opinion because neither of you moved. In fact you were both sat up so straight it was borderline comical.

“Junhui?”

“Mhmm?” He replied, not looking away from the tv.

“When we were younger…” This caught his attention and he pulled his eyes from the screen and towards yours. You took this as a sign to continue. “Before you left, I was going to tell you something and I never got the chance. Things a different now and a lot of time has passed so I don’t know why I’m bringing up but I don’t know…”

“Hey,” he moved closer to you so he could place a hand on your anxiously bouncing knee, “you can tell me anything. Always.”

“You know how we were supposed to meet up that day?”

“But I never came.”

“Right but you never came. I’d asked you to meet me because I wanted to tell you something.” You looked down at the sofa, there was no way you could tell him this while making eye contact. He gave you a light reassuring squeeze on the knee. You took a shaky breath. “I asked you to meet me so I could tell you that I thought I was falling in love with you.”

“And how do you feel towards me now?”

“I mean I’ve not seen you in like a decade so like differently but there’s still, you know.”

“I know.” He tilts your head up gently by your chin. “I loved you too. It’s why I couldn’t bare to tell you about my family.

“Shit!”

“What?” The nervous look on Junhui’s face said it all.

“Oh, no not that I’m sorry, I forgot to text Lisa back!”

“I’m humbly requesting that you never do that on the middle of a serious conversation again.”

“Yes sir. I’m sorry, I’m just gonna reply or I’ll keep forgetting, you’re very distracting.”

“I’ll let you off,” he smirked jokingly.

Sorry!! Long story, will fill you in tomorrow x

You put your phone back down.

“Now that’s out the way. I have a question.”

“Hit me.”

“Never.”

“You knew what I meant,” you sighed.

“Can I hold you?”

“I thought you would never ask.”

[thank-the-gods-im-bi]

My thoughts on the PJO Lightning Thief movie. Spoilers for the movie I guess. My commentary is funny to read with it because then you really understand what I mean! What a ride this was

1. “The politically correct term is satyr” Jesus it made me chuckle because of course the threw in the comment politically correct. Go off Grover I guess

2. How old is Grover if at 12 he’s 24 and when he looks 16-18 in the movie? I just got questions man how old is he?!?! Why doesn’t he have his horns yet?!

3. Low key I want to go to this camp cause it’s looks like fun for teens/adults

4. It’s kinda accurate at certain points. Like lines from the book. But at the same time wrong character

5. WHY IS GROVER SO GREAT??? PERCY SEEING ANNABETH AND ASKING DOR HER NAME AND GROVER GOES “Haaa! She’ll squash you like a bug” GO OFF MY MAN

6. Why does it look so cgi? And also WHY THE CRAP DID THEY IMMEDIATELY TAKE HIM TO CABIN 3???? LIKE YEA EVERYONE KNOWS HES A SON OF POSEIDON BUT HE STILL HAS TO BE CLAIMED

7. Also it’s supposed to be the summer and why he got pants and a heavy jacket on? Also how do they explain both Chiron, Percy and Grover missing from school cause they just fucking dipped

8. Yea let’s throw the guy with absolutely no lessons or absolutely anything like that into capture the flag! Also where the fuck is Clarisse?

9. God luke is hilarious! “That’s a sword that’s a sword!” God got me wheezing

10. Glad to know in both video adaptations the Percy’s trip and fall.

11. Why is annabeth out of breath and a genuine dick in the beginning? Like she did two steps forward and is breathing heavy! Was it cause she had to talk all mysterious and sultry? What was that for?!

12. THEY ALL LOOK LIKE THEY ARE IN THEIR 30’s BESIDES THE MAIN 4?! Why the campers so old?!

13. Logan Lerman was a great percy at the wrong time. I will stand by this

14. WHY DOES HADES LOOK LIKE SATAN WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE?!

15. THE CAMERA POINTING TO LUKE WHEN HADES WAS ASKING FOR THE BOLT THAT WAS SMOOTH AF

16. BARGIN WITH ZEUS?! WHAT THE HECK?!

17. Damn annabeth has been there for a while I imagine since she was 7 and never went on a quest yet. Who hates her in this movie?

18. WHY DOES LUKE HAVE A PC, MULTIPLE TV SCREENS AND AN XBOX/PLAY STATION? AND A ROOM TO HIS OWN?

19. How did Luke break into his dad’s house?!

20. Interesting take for Persephone. Also Persephone’s pearls?! Fucking weird

21. WHY IS THERE SO MUCH CUSSING?! They’ve said ass twice now!

22. GROVER IS KILLING IT ONCE AGAIN! Opening up the soda machine and screaming cause there’s rats and saying the health department needs to give this place a f! His actor is so good!

23. The Fucking JUMPSCARE at Aunty Ems

24. Medusa fucking slaying. You go creepy lady! Also Medusa hates autistic people. I know it’s rude not to look people in the eyes but I can’t help it!

25. THE FUCKING IPOD TO KILL MEDUSA ALSO WHY SHE MOVE LIKE THAT

26. “Son of Poseidon. I use to date your daddy” THE PUSHES THE STATUES ON TO HIM LIKE A DOMINO EFFECT WHATS HAPPENING DID THEY CONSUME DRUGS BEFORE FILMING BEFORE WRITING?!

27. THEY DROVE A TRUCK AT THEM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED! They could’ve killed Percy!

28. Grover almost killing them in oncoming traffic

29. The water animation to heal people is kinda sick I won’t lie

30. “It’s forbidden… Zeus made a law that gods can’t see their mortal children” fuck off

31. Why did they keep the head? Why didn’t the mist cover up the Medusa head?

32. Why is everything in Ancient Greek? Like even just name plates

33. Did they really just hide in toilet stalls for hours? Instead of just sneaking back in?!

34”you’re going to kill the janitors?! Those are working class Americans!” Stay slaying Grover you are the best part of this movie

34.5 “their not dead just unconscious. We have 30 minutes come on!” NOT THE GUY YOU SHOT OFF THE LADDER AND FELL ON TO MARBLE MAN MIGHT BE DEAD

35. WHY DOES ANNABETH JUST FACETIME LUKE ON A COMPUTER?!

36. How many times did the janitor actors have to go over their lines together to say them in unison? Also they don’t fight the hydra till the second book

37. WHY DOES ANNABETH HAVE SO MANY WEAPONS AND WHERE IS SHE STORING THEM??? A cross bow, a bow and arrows, I want to say a sword but I could be wrong. Just so many weapons

38. How are they getting the money for the gas to go from New Jersey to Tennessee to then Las Vegas? That’s a lot of gas!

39. THE BEST SCENE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE THE POKER FACE SCENE I KNOW THEY WONT KEEP THE SONG IN THE SHOW BUT I WANT THEM TO

40. THEY PLAY TIKTOK BY KESHA TOO!

41. Never let Grover drive is the main point of the movie

42. “A giant storm cloud covers most North America… several states has issued an evacuation.” TO WHERE?! Where can they go?!

43. Charon(I hope I’m spelling it right) is such a mood I love him so much

44. “Thanks for telling me, man. You’re burning money. We’re in a recession. That’s treason!” WHEN WAS THIS MOVIE MADE. Please hold for a quick Google check. 2010?! It’s 14 years old?! I got siblings younger than this movie! No wonder this is a line!

45. Why is the underworld just the idea of hell? I mean come on. There are souls being burned and all are being tortured. That’s so wrong man

46. Persephone is kinda hot. Also she shouldn’t be there yet cause it’s THE SUMMER NOT THE WINTER but you know

47. Why does hades look like my uncle I don’t talk to. Ok I don’t talk to most of my uncles but on my dads side if that makes sense. When he’s in satan mode he looks like my stepmom

48. HADES WASNT DAMNED TO “HELL” HE WASNT PUSHED TO BE THERE. What the fuck?! It’s so Christian coded but in a bad way. There’s a good way and a bad way but this is a bad way.

49. I thought I could keep it in but the hellhounds scare me so Fucking much those aren’t hounds they are terrible beasts I don’t like them!

50. Hades being cruel and abusive is a tired trope. It’s so exhausting.

51. Grover being a big man is going to make me cry! But we all know why he wants to stay. Bow chica bow ow

52. How does sally know where the entrance to Olympus is?

53. Oh no! Luke is the lightning thief! Roll credits

54. Were Luke an Annabeth ever close? Cause they act like they don’t like each other or just barely tolerate each other

55. If they never went to Olympus for the winter solstice how did Luke steal it? I imagine a demigod in Olympus would cause so questions

56. I hate Luke and Percy’s fight. Terrible. Awful. Why is it here?

56.5. The only acceptable part is where Percy basically drowns Luke for a hot minute

56.5.5. Where did all the water go?

57. AGAIN HOW DOES SALLY JACKSON KNOW ALL THIS SHIT

58. The elevator and the scene of them going up to Olympus was sick af

59. They got 2 minutes to climb up 20,000 steps. Fucking good luck I guess

60. I like the visuals of how big the gods are to the mortals. Even if it was badly done. It visually is really good

61. Maybe don’t point the blade at the gods Percy!

62. Psh Athena saying I’m proud of you to annabeth? A mother saying that to her kid? Yea that has totally happen to me. Oh why am I crying? My roommate is cutting onions and there’s dust in my eyes

63. Haha! Percy got daddy issues! I certainly don’t know what that feels like. Sorry my roommate is starting to cut another onion

64. Maybe a little too early for this note but did they not give her the head of Medusa? Is gabe not dead?! Also not telling your mother you love her before leaving for the rest of the summer? Shame on you!

65. “First rule of battle strategy” maybe put your hair up so it’s out of your face! Come on annabeth that’s reckless!

66. I WAS WRONG SHES A FUCKING BADASS AND PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY GOOD JOB PERCY AND SALLY!

Alright I just finished it. Those are my thoughts I want to do the second movie tomorrow cause I have work in the morning. But I’ll do it whether people read this one or not. I might do the hunger games movie too or something like that! It was a lot of fun!



[klapollo]

So in a previous ask they just asked if you were a big video game guy and your response was that you sadly didn’t have enough time. Well my question is just asking why you think video games are frivolous, yet reading and consuming the arts aren’t?

Some video games are made for purely entertainment or profit yes. There are many books, films, and paintings like that too. There are just as many video games that are made as statements for political, social, and ethical issues. As well as games made to try to capture the feelings of grief, joy, or anything else. Just as other art forms.

This isn’t a judgement nor an attack on you I just want to know. Why are video games lesser?

no this is a really thought provoking question! it made me reconsider how i think about this a little. it's probably wrong to paint games as "pure leisure" without cultural enrichment, because it's simply not true for a lot of games.

i guess in my mind on the hierarchy of art/media that can enrich me, video games just sit pretty low. this is for a few reasons -- the time investment is a BIG factor. i can watch a movie in 1-2 hours, read an average novel in 3-5 sittings, watch a tv show for 30-50 minutes at a time at my discretion, but completing a game can take dozens of hours, especially games that are probably the most through-provoking and would benefit you culturally the same way a book or a film might (see metal gear or disco elysium versus a game like pokemon or animal crossing)

there's also accounting for HOW invested i have to be relative to time. a movie needs my full focus for me to fully digest it, but that also only takes a couple hours. a book i can read while i'm traveling/doing another task, and same for television shows, music and podcasts. when i was a gamer, it was predominantly handheld partly bc i could more easily integrate it into my life. sadly, catering to handheld gaming has dissipated a lot and the steam deck is VERY expensive. i have a switch, but i used to pay 30 dollars for a DS game versus 60 for a new switch title of the same playtime, and my switch often struggles to let me play without wifi for some reason, which isnt readily available in most places, and especially not on the subway.

plus while i do think games can really open your mind in the same way other art forms do, i do feel like for a lot of them it is mostly a leisure activity. if i spend two hours playing mario sunshine and two hours watching a hitchcock movie, i'll probably feel like the latter benefitted my cultural diet more, even if i have more fun doing the former. and honestly at the root of all this is NOT the fact that i'm "right" about this -- in fact, i think this is a deeply capitalist brainwashed mindset that makes me feel like everything i do has to be productive within the capitalist framework.

but i think this is partially bc i spent a LOT of early adulthood not doing much, including playing a lot of video games. so i think i'm in a phase right now where i'm trying to compensate by acting like this. probably the only "pure leisure" activity i don't feel a lot of guilt for is hanging with my friends, bc my personal connections are most important to me. it's frustrating! but it's something i'll need to work on with time.

[starlcts]

(—) ★ spotted!! CARMEN MOLINA on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 30 year old looks like SELENA GOMEZ, but i don’t really see it. while  the REAL ESTATE AGENT / ACTRESS is known for being HUMBLE my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be QUIXOTIC i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song LITTLE FREAK BY HARRY STYLES  {she/her / ciswoman}

𝑩𝑰𝑶𝑮𝑹𝑨𝑷𝑯𝒀

carmen's birth was somewhat of an accident . her mother isabella , while on a college spring break trip in cabo, mexico had a one - night stand with santiago , who was staying at the same resort for a bachelor trip . neither was looking for anything serious at that moment , with isabella only being a junior in college and santiago beginning his own business endeavors. the pair exchanged numbers at the end of their respective trips, along with fake promises to keep in touch before they parted ways .

fast forward two months later, and isabella realizes she's pregnant. distraught over the life changing news, she contacts santiago . she never expected him to reach out to her, much less show up at her doorstep in arizona twelve hours later . while the pregnancy certainly hadn't been under ideal circumstances, they both agreed that they would do everything possible to make things work for their baby .

carmen is born seven months later , and her parents couldn't have been more enamored with her . overcome with love for their new little family , they decide to get married a week later . however , the marriage is short lived , as neither had any idea of what they were getting themselves into . they divorce when carmen is two and santiago moves back to mexico , but he is very much determined to still be a part of his daughter's life .

the rest of carmen's childhood goes like this : she spends the school year with her mom in arizona , and leaves for mexico as soon as school lets out for the summer . while it's not the most equal arrangement , it's the most convenient for carmen , especially in terms of creating the most consistency for her childhood .

after graduating high school , carmen decided to move out to los angeles for a change of scenery . she received her real estate license six months later and hit the scene not long after . it was an uphill battle at first , with carmen struggling to get listings and find clients she could trust .

around the time she joined her first real brokerage , she also began auditioning for various tv roles . acting was something she had always been interested in doing , so she figured ' why not ? '

her first big break came when she landed a role in the tv show how to get away with murder . it was her first ever acting gig , and she loved every second of it . the show ended about a year ago and carmen decided to take a break to get back into real estate , something she only did part time while filming the show .

as person , carmen is incredibly kind, something many take for granted. she's the first person who will greet you a party , the one who will remember random details about your life that anyone else might forget . she's the embodiment of sunshine , always smiling . she's very much a people person and loves to spend her time around those she cares about .

but there is an edge to her. the minute someone takes advantage of her or is cruel to her or her family, she snaps. carmen knows her worth and she won’t accept anything less than what she deserves. with that said, she does tend to hold grudges so if someone who wronged her in the past comes looking for forgiveness, it’s unlikely she will give them a second chance. 

she values her independence more than anything. while she loves to surround herself with people, she has always found strength in herself. carmen understands the importance of self love and is slightly selfish in that regard - she will never put anyone before herself.

she really values the connections and people she has met through her decade of living in los angeles . there is currently talks of carmen joining selling sunset as a main cast member . it feels like her career is at a point where it can only go up , which excites her even more for what will come next .

𝑭𝑰𝑳𝑴𝑶𝑮𝑹𝑨𝑷𝑯𝒀

laurel castillo in how to get away with murder ( 2016 - 2022 )

𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺

ride or die friendship

close friends

people she's sold houses to , could be positive or negative !

frenemies

on / off again relationship

secret relationship

exes

friends with benefits

[thebadtimewolf]

anyway

everyone complaining about matt murdock/daredevil as soon as they got him still acting like himself despite being the camro guest instead of ususlly being the other way around (ITS HIS FIRST CAMEO/GUEST STARRING IN ANOTHER SHOW BE NICE):

he's still as himself in daredevil, this is just a vacay day for him

like yall saw how kingpin appeared in hawkeye and now daredevil.

i fully expect frank castle just drinking those little drinks with rainbow umbrellas, kicked back in swimtrunks, hair curled because he just went swimming and wearing those shades that have the little palm trees on the side in the next marvel show.

this is their little vacay time - as a little treat. a little manipedi time with how they see fit.

Kingpin wearing hawaiian shirts - Kingpin on Vacay

Matt taking a 5 hr plane ALL THE WAY TO LOS ANGELES then possibly an 2hrs because the driver did get lost JUST FOR (on his end) 30 MINUTE PRO BONO TRIAL FOR HIS NEW TAILOR (i wanna know how melvin potter doing later, maybe this is his vacay time too!) And then basically asked for a normal date, got a mission date and left happily barefoot because he was still masked? - Daredevil/Matt on Vacay

we'll get them all toxic masculinity-therapy avoiding-hospital bill racking-sameoldgritty weh weh later but, for now: let them have their little spa day.

As a treat.

Their god knows they are gonna need it for what will annhilate them later.

"oh they massacred my boy daredevil/matt" listen he's been trying to massacre himself for three seasons and failed every single time. if you think his guest appearence in she hulk and jen courting him and him courting her (or are we forgetting karen and claire and electra) is massacring him, i think matt deserves to have one "self-massacre" win without much internal damage to his ribs and legs and arms and senses.

Because its starting feel less like yall want daredevil back and more like "catered ableism for seeing him getting beat up all the time and if he can get beat up back to back then SURELY I CAN SELF PROJECT MY STONG BOY VIEWS on him because ew happiness and cooties??? ewwww" instead of having the most normal happiest day of his life i have ever witnessed with matt. And I MEAN A FULL DAY NIGHT NOON AND DAY. NOT oh it was good night, oh it was a cute brunch, oh he joked and sassed a little bit and then we went back to NO!

in fact the times with jen and matt in comics are usually happy like this [comic 616 is not tv/film 199999 but both generate the same feeling for platonic friendship and in this case romcom vigilantism]

so i dont know what comics YOU been reading but this? this is it.

i hope jen pop up in LUKE CAGE AND I HOPE SHE POP UP IN JESSICA JONES AND IRON FIST AND PUNISHER BECAUSE ALL OF EM NEED THIS KIND OF DAY you know they need that kind of day. we all saw the same exact shows. they need this vacay day.

the fact that like jessica jones, jen is being target on a psychological level than physical and also WE CAN SEE WELL LIT

- ALSO JESSICA AND JEN BOTH HAD OTHER DAREDEVIL VILLAINS IN THEIR SHOWS BUT NOT MATT (kilgrave for jessica, leap-frog for jen albeit his son taking on the moniker for good JUST LIKE IN THE COMICS) -

FACES AT NIGHT AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS if it does become ugh i cant see the scene there is NO LIGHT SOURCE GRITTY THAT YALL ARE ASKING FOR then absolutely none of the mcu as a whole is worth watching for you. if you want action movies, we got a whole plethora of them enough to have an grit action-hallmark christmas movie marathon, go over there and stay there.

[signalwatch]

80's Watch: Action Jackson (1988)

Watched:  02/04/2023

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  First

Director:  Craig R Baxley

Well, 13-year-old-me that wanted to see this, we did it.  We finally got around to watching Action Jackson (1988).  And what a strange, strange movie this is.  

There are moments where you think "this movie had a $5 budget" and then you think "well, there are lots of explosions and stuff."  But you also know the star here was Carl Weathers, who is charismatic and cool, but he hadn't carried a ton of stuff or big action movies.  The director is the stunt coordinator from Predator, and the film includes not just Weathers but Bill Duke as the cranky captain calling Jackson into his office and a brief appearance by Sonny Landham (Billy in Predator).  

But that's not all!  Craig T. Nelson plays the Mr. Big corporate villain, a fresh-faced Sharon Stone is his dumb-as-a-bag-of-rocks wife, Vanity is our deeply complicated love interest/ MacGuffin, Tom Wilson (Biff from BTTF) is a cop,  Robert Davi gets five minutes.  But most remarkable, it's just full of "that guy!" character actors in almost every scene.  

The basic plot, which is rendered almost incoherent by the film, is (I think) that Jericho "Action" Jackson once took down the son of a prominent businessman (Craig T. Nelson) but was demoted for police brutality in the process.  Now Craig T. Nelson has a secret goon squad that is bumping off people who could mess up him taking control of the American Autoworkers Union, which he sees as his path to controlling American politics (which seems wildly dubious in 1988, but okay).  Despite having Sharon Stone as his new trophy wife, Nelson is also bedding heroin junky and pop singer, Vanity.  

You know what?  This movie makes sense only in that I *could* belabor myself with relaying all the twists and turns, but it ends in a completely insane scenario at Nelson's house (which is also the house used for the exteriors of Stately Wayne Manor in the 1960's Batman TV show) with Jackson driving a car through a house.  

But, yeah, the movie is just weird.  It takes like 10 minutes to get to Jackson, showing us these weirdly over elaborate murders of people who seem like they could be killed by just walking up to them with a gun and then walking away.  There's a whole pointless detour where we meet pool-hall thugs who cut off dude's balls as a thing they do.  They clearly realized the movie was making no sense and added in a barber we named "Lady Exposition" because she basically both gives Jackson all the info he needs and explains the plot to the audience.  

There's a whole set up for how mean and bad-ass Jackson is that takes so, so much time.  But Carl Weathers always seems... really nice.  And the movie seems to forget that everyone is afraid of him immediately after the start.  For whatever reason, the movie also doesn't allow Jackson to use a gun.  He's forbidden to have one because of his prior actions or something?  He's also supposed to be a Harvard Law School grad we're supposed to believe decided to use that wildly lucrative degree to become a cop?  It's just such a weird movie.  Like - you can do 1000x more with that degree as almost anything else if you want to help out your hometown.  

But he also doesn't really do anything "actiony" until the 38 minute mark of the movie.  Y'all...  that's really late.  They could have opened on him kicking ass.  They could have done a lot of things, but they don't.  We have a whole musical number tucked in there.  There's a plot-driving murder that should be the page 30 twist that happens like 45 minutes in.  It's insane.

There's just so much stuff in the movie that makes zero sense.  Pretty much everything around Vanity was just weird.  Her reason for being a MacGuffin is that she supposedly knows something that can put Craig T. Nelson away, but I have no idea what it was supposed to be - and I don't think she knew either.  But whatever it was, it was hot enough that he tries to kill her by blowing up her phone?  And despite the fact Vanity is a heroin addict who spends the length of the film looking like the healthiest junkie you've ever seen, at the end, she's clearly hooking up with Jackson.  It's so, so weird!  She's gonna clear out his apartment and get back on that horse.  But just look at that poster.  That is one smashing-looking heroin fiend!

Anyway, it's a fascinating watch.  I don't remember the last time I couldn't follow a movie that was pretending like this was all straight forward.  But, holy shit, it is not.  

Oh, and the title track is something called "He Turned Me Out" by the Pointer Sisters.  Which, last I checked, that's slang for being put on the street to turn tricks.  So, I don't even know.  I'm sure that's not what it is.  But I don't know what it is.

I did notice HBOmax categorized it as a comedy, and it made me wonder if I was missing something while watching, because to my eyes, which VERY much remember cop movies of 1988.  Someone help me out here.

https://ift.tt/R9rc3Hz

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/VQvAYj7

[icebreaker01]

You had ONE job!

(Author stands in front the group tasked with killing Nima. Behind the author is a white board on which is a picture of a short stick figure with glasses, a messy drawing of hair on top and could be a body double for a platypus and no one would know the difference.) (Author snaps a pointer on the picture.) "You SEE this?! You see what it looks like!?" (Snaps the pointer over to a second stick figure on the white board which is much taller, has a neat head of hair and could double as a telephone pole.) "And you see THIS!?" (Pauses) "Can ANYONE P.L.E.A.S.E. explain to me how you can possibly MISTAKE the two?" (Group member 1) "It was dark?" "This whole show has looked like it was filmed in a mile deep bunker where they forgot to pay the electric bill. Try again." (Group member 2) "He had his back to us?" (Author angerly taps the two pictures again.) "Height alone should have been a tip off!" (Group member 3) "He was leaned over!" "Even at waist high he was still taller than that little weasel!" "Just a minute! Why are you so upset? You didn't like the character anyway. Why are you so upset about what happened to him?" "Because his 'sacrifice' made no sense whatsoever. Now get out there and try again!" (Author stands at the door and hands out 5X7 glossy's as they leave.)

And yes, folks, I am more than a little peeved at how they wrote Bennett Knox's character out of the show. The scene was poorly thought out by the writers and once again, I wish they would get off the crack. Now, having read ahead in this show, I have a bit of insight into things that are going to happen. And each character demise thus far has left me sitting in front of my TV thinking "Whattttttt?" I was fine with Zarah being written off. She was a self-serving little so-and-so from the start. Good riddance. But lets take a look at their latest 'It's the last season, lets see what we can do for shock value' action. 1. Did the trains need to be separated RIGHT THEN! No. This was a poorly contrived plot point. 2. What? Big Alice doesn't have ONE, single survival suit? You couldn't take five seconds of film time to slip his skinny little butt into it? And it isn't like he doesn't know about them! He's spent 50% of the series in one. I swear, I think the character sleeps in one he loves them so much. 3. The most important people on the trains are the engineers. Yet THESE are the characters you choose to write off the show? What? Did Bennett 'MacGyver' Knox run out of ideas suddenly. You're asking me to believe that a man who could come up with all the fun little tricks he has thus far in the show, could think of NOTHING better than to walk out into freezing cold weather to uncouple a train car? Sirs, you both insult and tax my level of disbelief. 4. Poor Melanie now has no one to talk science to except the smarmy little weasel. And talking to Nima is like talking to a Schizophrenic who has been off his meds for a month. And believe me folks, in my line of work, I know a thing or two about what this looks like. (Holds up a picture of Nima.) 5. Standing at the door, after the cars were uncoupled, Bennett was still alive. What? Did 99% of his brain freeze first and he didn't think, 'Hey, I can turn around and run back into the train!'. Instead he just STOOD there and froze? (See end of item 3 comment.) 6. In the 'The writers have no idea what their doing' column, I would like to point out that if you know anything about living up north, it is not for a fashionable look that people wear scarfs wrapped around their noses outside in 12 degree weather. If you don't, your lungs freeze LONG before the rest of you does. Why? Because of the moisture in them. Executing people on the train by strapping a mask on them with a tube leading to the outside took what?.....30 seconds? Yet Bennett had time to run down a corridor with no more protection than a winter coat and gloves, uncouple a train car, then stand back up and admire the view. Why did he not turn his skinny little butt around instead and run back up said corridor and into the train? This whole scene just made no sense.

Here's what I think happened: (The following is the author's interpretation of what happened at the end of S4E5.) (In the writers trailer, they are staring at names pinned to the wall, deciding who they can legitimately write off the show before the end and still have enough characters left to have an end.) (Iddo Goldberg walks into the trailer.) "Hi, guys. Look, I have a slight problem." "What is it? We're busy." "Well, I have another opportunity with this new show that's starting filming in a few weeks, and I....sort of need off the train." "Done! Have a nice life." "Thanks, guys. You're the best." (Goldberg leaves and the writers quickly smile at each other.) "Gone by the halfway point?" "No problem."

And I understand this was suppose to be a 7 seasons show, and the writers are annoyed because they had this great storyboard already planned out and now they have to cram everything into ten episodes. It bites. But could you at least leave a few main characters alive? And I would do a revised 'Who makes it and who doesn't' list. But due to my getting out my trusty shovel and digging into sites where people post who have seen the entire season already, I can't do this anymore. But in regards to the original list I made and how wrong it is.......I'm amazed.

One last word of warning, folks. Be sure in the next 1-2 episodes to have a thick layer of towels set under your TV screen. Because when Melanie finds out what happened to Bennett......well, we all know how that goes. And it will surely be...messy.

[collsfilmblog]

Scene Recreation mega post!!!

Hey, this post should give a brief overview of sections I have covered already on my blog and will go more in depth into the rest! 

HOW DID WE DO IT??!!

Okay so to start off with I've already explained a little bit about our film choice. We had a somewhat hard time choosing which film to do but after going through everything from Nosferatu to Baby Driver we ended up with… spuds interview from trainspotting??? Not an obvious choice but we all loved the scene, it’s very funny and seems achievable whilst still posing some challenges we would have to overcome.

Once we had chosen the scene we sprung into action looking for locations and actors. Cole, Dylan and I went to the City Cafe to ask about possibly filming there. Cole gave them his email and communicated with them. Whilst there I noted any possible risk like the small spaces and scoped where might be best for filming. The whole group then met up at Merchiston where we searched the campus, and then Craiglockhart campus for a suitable location.

We found many rooms we thought would be good but after a conversation with Andrew we realised just how accurate it had to be(WHICH IS VERY!!!!!). We looked at a couple halls and churches, really anywhere with an open space but everywhere was either very far, expensive or not accurate enough.

Some of the locations we considered

We settled on the Out of the Blue Drill hall as it had a music practice room that felt like the right atmosphere. Cliona was also confident in dressing the set so we went for it!! David booked it out and we had access for a few hours.

The day before the shoot we met up in the common room to do a camera test and to try and get all the framing and lens choices right. We had very little time on the actual sets so we wanted to make sure we were not messing around with lenses and knew roughly what framing to use. We also got to practise the dolly so we knew how we would do it on set. These are notes David and Cole made for the lenses they were going to use for each shot -

SHOT 5 - 24 SHOT 3 - 24 SHOT 4 - 24 SHOT 2 - 24 SHOT 1 - 24

SHOT 1 - 14mm SHOT 2 - 24/35mm SHOT 3 - 24 SHOT 4 - 14/24mm SHOT 5 - 24mm SHOT 6 - 35mm SHOT 7 - 24mm SHOT 8 - 24mm, could be 14mm

Shoot day

Waking up at 5:30 for a shoot is not very fun… especially when there's no hot water so you end up in a cold shower. A quick bit of breakfast and down to meet the group. Its dark, freezing and we were all tired but nevertheless morale was high. We stuck all the kit in an uber and cole and I got there by 6:30. We had half an hour to wait but decided it would be a good use of our time to start making sure camera settings were right, and to set up the tripod.

A very early start

We only an hour and 45 minutes at the City Cafe which ended up being an hour and 20 minutes after we set up and we had to be done by 8:45 so the cafe could open for 9. Needless to say it was stressful. For me atleast, a combination of a couple hours sleep and the time constraints was causing me to be a little stressed out and constantly let everyone know how much time we had. I think I did well to keep everyone on track as we got the last shot right on time before we had to pack up and leave. Cole and David were doing a really good job making sure everything was right. We did end up messing with lenses on the day but it was all okay in the end. Hope and Logan did a good job too meaning we didn't have to do many takes after setup which saved us a lot of time.

The drill hall was a much more relaxed shoot for me. We had a few more people which made lugging the kit around a bit easier and alot more time. We had a couple more shots but after seeing how well Hope knew their lines I was confident they weren't going to cause any problems schedule-wise. We had to move things about a lot during the shoot and kind of cheat the room to make it seem bigger and due to the fact that there was only one plain white wall as the other had a tv on it. This shoot also went well and I think the whole team was very happy with how we had done. Cliona did a great job on the production design with fake doors and everyone in the right costume, Cole and David did well making sure the framing was right and the actors performances were correct and Dylan did a good job on sound especially since it was his first time. 

What did I do???

Alright Coll enough just saying what happened nobody really wants to know. What IS important to the grade is what I did!!! And I know it sounds like all I did was get stressy and remind people of the time but I did other stuff too!

Risk assessments 

I did a risk assessment for both locations. Initially I had done it wrong when booking everything but putting two different projects in one risk assessment so I went back and created two separate risk assessments, one for the City Cafe and one for the practice room at the Out of the Blue Drill hall. I also made sure everyone on set was aware of the risks, especially when using lighting as a few people got close to touching a very hot light without any gloves on.

Call Sheet

I wasn't sure how call sheets worked when doing two different locations so i just put them all into one as it's still one shooting day with a very long break in between. I tried using the call sheet template that is on moodle but it genuinely started boiling my blood trying to edit the title thing. I’m not sure why but it just wouldn't work. I was on a test shoot for a grad film that had a nice looking and easy to read call sheet that got sent out so I decided to just use that as a template. I like it much better than the example on moodle but if this is the wrong way to do it im very sorry!! I’ll do it the right way next time. 

Schedule

I also created a loose schedule to follow. I knew we werent going to be hitting these marks exactly because some shots would take longer than others due to random issues but it was good to have goals, especially when we had such a short time to film in.

Booking Equipment 

I sat down with the group after doing the risk assessment and went through Siso looking for anything we might need. We might have booked a bit much and were more conservative with what we brought with us compared to our previous shoot for film narrative where we brought EVERYTHING. But we did use nearly all of it at some point or another.

Location agreements

I had to talk with the managers of the City Cafe and make them sign location agreements. I say make them sign it like I had a knife to their throat, it was more asking them very nicely but they seemed a little apprehensive. I’m not sure if location agreements are something you need to have at this stage but I figured it’s probably good practice and wouldn't hurt to have. 

On set

I was essential on the set too!! Apart from telling people we only had 15 minutes left, I was made a human C stand. In the cafe I was holding black flags and bounce pads as well as setting up most of the lighting. I also helped change lenses occasionally or helped Dylan with the sound equipment. 

At the drill hall I served pretty much the same purpose of human stand and assistant. I was also a contortionist as I had to hold the mural whilst being out of shot which meant twisting my body in some painful ways. But all is well and I have since recovered. Oh I also spent hours in the library trying to figure out how to print in colour so we could have the fire escape and no smoking signs which was fun!!

(This genuinely took me ages and is part of the reason I hardly slept the night before the shoot)

I'm really happy with how the recreation turned out, I think everyone did a really good job with their own areas and in terms of the recreation, it’s pretty accurate. I was very happy with the feedback we got and whilst its not EXACTLY the same, everyone agreed we got the tone right which is one of the trickiest things. I think we can put that mostly down to Hope but with us too!!

Anyway sorry there's so much to read I had some time to kill so pretty much wrote my thoughts. Heres a link to our production documents which are all in a nice big happy google drive together!