#do you think she died satisfied knowing that her duty was fulfilled

[1016anon]

Title: Daemon AU Author: 55anon Fandom: Bridgerton Relationship: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sharma Summary: Daemons. Athena is a sulfur crested cockatoo, Maanvir is a barasingha, Lord Helios is a luikse vechter rooster.

A/N -- I've had this sitting in my folder for a while and have made no progress. Figured I might as well post it. Sometimes putting things up on tumblr seems to help. No guarantees, &tc., you know the deal.

Anthony sometimes wished Athena had settled after Father had died.  He liked to imagine that if he had a less needy, annoying, pretentious, loud daemon, he might have been better suited to take over his duties.

"Yes, and I wish I had an artistic, compassionate, calm, quiet human, but one must make do, mustn't one," she fluffed up her feathers in irritation, crest half unfurled.

"Wishing you were Boudica again, are you?"

"At least Benedict has fun.  I spend all my nights watching you scribble figures and signatures in eternal tedium."

"Unfortunately we were not born second, we were born first and I'll thank you not to remind me of it," Anthony snapped.

"Of course, my Lord.  One must fulfill one's duties– tell me, how is the search progressing?"

"If you would accompany me instead of flying off to god-knows-where to satisfy your curiosity, you would know."

"It is entertaining to watch you wince as though the young lady in question has broken your foot."

"You know you've gained the reputation of having abominable manners."

"And yet I am unmoved.  What is the use of having wings if one of us cannot fly away?  I refuse to be trapped in some ballroom, forced to make polite conversation with these chits and their mamas.  Besides, you already have a reputation as a rake and a boor."

"This.  This is why I must toil away in the midnight hours with quill and ink.  Money will cover all sorts of sins."

Athena picked up one of the gold coins Anthony kept for her entertainment and began hammering it against his inkstand.  He glared at her, then went back to responding to the pile of letters.

She kept knocking and began squawking, bobbing her head up and down to the rhythm.  Anthony knew she could do a very good imitation of a string quartet; her dissonant squawks were very much a deliberate choice.

"Fine!  What?!  What do you want to tell me!  Out with it."

"While you were having such a fine, restless night at Madam C's, I saw the most beautiful girl yesterday in the park."

"In the park– in the pre-dawn hours?"

"She was glorious, racing against herself.  You must meet her, Anthony.  Tomorrow, or the following morning– she is the one we shall marry."

"Pardon?  You want us to marry a… merchant's daughter or some sort of nonsense?"

"She returned to Mayfair– in the direction of Lady Danbury's house.  I couldn't go further, you were quite insistent on calling me back."

"You do realize your range–"

"Our range"

"– is most unnatural.  Most cannot imagine being so far removed from their daemon."

"I am well aware," she pulled out the abacus and dropped it on his desk, knocking a pile of papers to the floor, then began pushing the beads as noisily as possible.

"Are you going to let me get anything done tonight?"

"No."

"I cannot further put off responding to these letters."

"You can.  You just think it your duty to respond in a 'timely' manner."

"We are not going to have this argument yet again."

"You say it as though you have a choice."

"Why are you so restless?  You've been like this ever since I decided to marry."

She ignored him and kept playing with the abacus.  Most nights– ever since Father had passed away– she had helped him with the necessary calculations.  Athena was now faster and more accurate than him, having learned how to divide and multiply; she was even able to use two at once with her clever feet.  Currently, she was simply using the abacus to annoy him.

"I couldn't see her daemon.  They must have extensive range, or her daemon is small."

"Very well– we shall chase down this young lady in the park, alarm her, and ensure we shall never see her again.  Are you satisfied?"

Athena tilted her head at him in extreme condescension, went to the window and flew away.  She had long since learned how to open it on her own; recently she had been flying to parts unknown more and more often.  Not only that, she had been pushing the distance she could put between them, as though she wanted to be free of Anthony; Athena had once called their connection 'shackles of grief.'

Anthony sighed as he settled in for another lonely night of Athena tugging on his heart, fighting against their connection; Anthony was certain she would break it one day.  He'd hoped that she of all people would understand why he was determined to marry this season– and she did understand.  She simply hated him for it.  Her avian counterpart, Cacatua galerita, were monogamous birds who developed very strong pair bonds with their partner; in Anthony's opinion, this was ridiculous.  Many– if not most– daemons did not take after their natural species in this particular aspect, but it seemed Athena did.

Sometimes it felt like he didn't know her, nor did she know him.  They got into arguments more often these days; it always ended in a stalemate, both of them frustrated or furious with the other and refusing to concede.  He did not quite know what it said of him that his mother and siblings did not notice.  But– unless he was visiting Madame C's establishment– she always returned and woke him by preening his hair (or screeching in his ear, if she was feeling peevish).  If he woke before her, he always stroked her smooth white feathers and scratched her head where she wasn't able to preen herself.

He felt their tether stretch to agony before she relented.

This was going to be a painful night, the constant feeling of being scraped raw to their limits and rent in two pushing under his heart.  

Anthony picked up his quill.  It was nothing he could not work through.  The letters were not going to write themselves.

–

"Maanvir."

"Kathani."

"Why is a daemon following us?"

"Perhaps because you are flouting all the rules of English high society by riding in the park at dawn, yet are dressed like one of their fine ladies."

"Have they been following us every morning?"

"I wouldn't know.  I was sleeping, like most sensible daemons."

"Liar.  You're still recovering from being seasick."

"Shall we introduce ourselves?"

"What?!  No!"

"It only seems polite.  I don't think they mean to do us harm."

"Where is their human?"

"Probably sleeping."

"I wasn't aware that the English were able to have their daemons travel such distances."

"Another reason why we should introduce ourselves.  We have something in common."

"No."

"They feel like a kindred spirit.  You could use a friend."

"Or they could go back to their human and tell them about our rides.  Let's see how far the connection goes."

She urged her horse forward, occasionally looking back and happy to see the bird could not follow.

"My antlers are going to get tangled in these branches," Maanvir said crossly.

"You didn't have to follow."

"I was curious."

"You were tired of being cooped up in Lady Danbury's garden, you mean."

"Continue on with your ride.  I'm going to find a place to graze."

"Don't talk to the daemon," she called after Maanvir, who only flicked his tail at her.  "Maanvir, I'm serious!"

Kathani made a noise of frustration, then went the opposite direction.  Her daemon was too stubborn.

–

"Hello!" Athena chirped with barely contained excitement.  She'd had a feeling the daemon would turn around.  "How are you?  My name is Athena, my human is sleeping somewhere."

"Maanvir– I think you already saw my human.  Are you always this glad to meet new daemons?"

"No, but you and I are going to be very good friends."

Maanvir laughed.  "Regardless of what our humans say?"

"My human is stubborn and stupid– I pay him no heed these days."

"I know the feeling well.  Would you like to perch on my antlers?"

"Oh, that would be lovely!" She fluttered down delicately.  "You look so majestic in the morning sun."

"Thank you," Maanvir blushed.

"Where are you from?"

"We recently arrived from India."

"India!  That's such a long distance to travel.  I saw your human go towards Danbury House– are you the daemons that Lord Helios is hosting?"

"We are.  Myself, Cicero, and Lord Julius."

"Lord Julius?  He's English?"

"Yes.  Would you like an introduction?"

"I couldn't possibly.  Lord Helios is very strict about these things– he always insists that humans must be introduced first before daemons are allowed to speak to each other, which I think is ridiculous.  If I waited for an introduction to every daemon I wished to speak to, I wouldn't be able to speak to anyone."

"It is not so different in India, but I agree it's a stupid convention.  Your human sounds very unfriendly."

"He's very important among humans.  In truth, you're supposed to address me as Lady Athena, but I can't stand the thought of such formalities coming between us.  Do you not agree?"

"I feel the same.  I've never allowed anyone to perch on my antlers before, you know.  My human guards herself very carefully."

"My human doesn't like it if I get too close to other daemons.  He says it's unseemly.  Then he says I'm abominably rude for not staying with him to call on daemons I dislike.  I hate it."

"Is that why you fly away?"

"Yes.  What about you?  Why do you spend time away from your human?"

"She also doesn't like it when I get too close.  I understand her reasons– humans have taken advantage of her, but it makes life very lonely."

"It does," Athena said, forlorn.

"We have each other now," Maanvir said gently.

"We do," she made a happy noise.  "I want to apologize ahead of time– my human is probably going to be quite rude to yours."

"No need to apologize.  My human will be twice as rude in return."

"Sometimes I feel like I barely know him.  We argue all the time these days."

"My human and I used to be quite close, but lately she's made some decisions I adamantly disagree with."

Maanvir walked on in silence, comforted by Athena's presence.  She was surprisingly light– it was no burden at all to carry her.

"Do you mind if I preen you?" she asked suddenly.

"Preen me?" Maanvir said, surprised.

"Never mind," Athena blushed.  "Only, I feel as though I've known you all my life."

"I feel the same."

Athena hopped down and perched on Maanvir's head as she gently began to preen.

Unfortunately, it was not long before they both felt their humans tugging on their connection.

"I must go.  Will I see you again tomorrow?"

"Of course, Athena.  You're always welcome to perch."

Athena pressed her beak against Maanvir's forehead in a little kiss.  "I already miss you."

"I also."

She made a frustrated noise in the direction of her human, then took flight.

–

"Who were you with?"

"Good morning to you too, Anthony."

"Stop avoiding the question.  I could feel you."

"Could you?  I thought you closed off our connection.  You've become quite adept at it."

"Athena," Anthony sighed.  "I don't want to fight with you."

"You're only going to forbid me from seeing him again–"

"Him?"

"This is precisely the reason why I no longer tell you anything."

"The girl in the park.  Athena, you're supposed to help me search for a wife, not carry on an affair with another daemon!"

Athena screeched and went towards the window.  Anthony quickly slammed it shut.

"No, we are having this conversation and we are having it now."

"There's nothing to discuss!  You're going to marry some simpering debutante I despise and make me miserable for the rest of our life, so let me have this one happiness before you clip my wings and stuff me in your gilded cage!"

"I would never do that to you!  Is that really what you think of me?"

"You may have closed your side of the connection, but I haven't.  I know what's waiting for me in the years to come."

"What am I to do when you fly away at every opportunity?  We have duties."

"You have duties."

"You and I are head of this household–"

"Where in those duties does it say you cannot marry for love?"

"Love–," he took one look at her and collapsed into his chair.  "Fuck, you've gone and fallen in love."

"Yes.  I've fallen in love, and he's wonderful.  He makes me happy, which is more than I can say of you at the moment."

"We cannot afford to fall in love!"

"So you've said many times.  And since I'm tethered to you, I know one day you will keep me from seeing him ever again.  I want to be happy, Anthony!  Why won't you understand that?"

"You refused to go anywhere near Rossini despite my feelings for Siena and now you've gone and fallen in love."

"Cockatoos are monogamous birds who only form one pair bond in their life."

"You are not a cockatoo, you are a daemon– there's no reason for you to follow their mating patterns."

"There's no reason for you not to marry for love."

"You're beginning to sound like Mother."

"On this one point, Octavius is right."

"You and Octavius agree on something.  Surely the end of days has come."

Anthony put his hand out, exhausted.  Athena perched on his fingers.

"Could you please follow my lead on this?  Just this once?" he stroked her wing.  "I hate fighting with you."

"Anthony," she pressed her beak against the furrow between his brows.  "I always follow your lead, in everything."

On this, he had to concede.  She was the one person in his life he could rely on, always, to fight for his happiness.  He had overruled her so many times.

"I won't ask you to marry against your duty, I won't even introduce you to his human.  This is the last chance I have for something that's mine, and mine alone.  Please let me have this."

"All right," he said, defeated.

"Thank you."

"Don't introduce me to his human.  I don't want to know."

"I won't," she hopped on his head and began preening.

"Will you stay with me today?"

"I'll stay in the same building."

"I'll take what I can get."

"You're so melodramatic– you hate it when I perch on your shoulder.  Or hide underneath your hat."

"We're calling on Miss Goring."

"I think I'm being rather generous by staying in the house at all."

"Don't hover by the door."

"Spoilsport."

Anthony smiled and simply sat for a few moments.  Then looked at his watch, waited for Athena to hop down and opened the window.

"Breakfast with the family," he said.

"Don't dawdle," she replied, and took off.

[the-letter-horror-lover]

Maybe there's still hope—. '

"Now.. Start from the very beginning."

'A small chance perhaps. '

"Tell me... exactly how you ended up and breathing— "

"—Uzumaki Boruto. "

6: Broken Destiny

"You're wrong."

Bastard.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw his expression change.

"I'm not the Hokage's son-"

I leaned closer to him as I spoke.

His attempts to keep a straight face were failing.

"-I'm not the one you're assuming me to be. "

His expression changed a bewildered to a dissapointed one.

And I..couldn't be more satisfied.

I wasn't lying . He could tell.

And I actually wasn't.

This... Wasn't my world.

Wherever this was.

I knew that from the very moment I opened my eyes.

Here.

It was far too peaceful to be the place I belonged to.

No destruction. No war. No smoke. No cries.

Nothing.

No shinobi coming after my life.

Or trying to abduct me for money.

I... Am a missing nin.

And I have a destiny.. A duty to fulfill.

A shinobi who attacked his people and tried to kill the Kage of his very own village.

Funny.

Cause in my was also my father.

And ever since then...I've been running away.

Running from my life. Though not from my destiny.

It had been utter shit from the very beginning anyway. Nothing has changed. So it doesn't matter either way.

Being sucked into the pool of eternal darkness.

And to top it off, hated by my own people.

What did I ever gained from walking the right path?

Nothing.

Just pure darkness was what I deserved. And that is what I received.

Chasing after them. Him.. All this time.

Only to end up being shoved away to my near death.

I never expected things to change this drastically.

Whom he barely knew.

It actually makes me laugh whenever I think about it.

He chose him over his own son.

Didn't even looked back. Funny.

As if I wasn't if I wasn't alive.

As if.. I didn't mattered.

They'll be relieved if I'm dead.

He and the remaining five kages. The elders, the council members,my friends, my family.

Everyone. They think I'm a threat.

I don't blame them though.

Still..It hurts.

I don't know why.

I've left behind my emotions long ago.

Unfortunately for them. For him-

I didn't die. I survived. Yet again.

Though even now I wished I would've died back then.

Its been years. Yet the pain is still the same.

Yet all I can do is run. Run and hide. Hide and run.

Its an endless cycle.

Sometimes I just want to give up. Sometimes I wish to end it all and be done with it.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't because the promise I made to my master, my shisho, holds me back.

Who... died because of me. Funny.

Another reason I deserved it. The hateful gazes. I didn't cared about anybody else though.

Atleast my friends understand me.

Heck, Mitsuki considered me his sun. He'll never leave me alone.

My team. They'll always support me.

But one look at her and it all crashed down.

Mitsuki was nowhere to be found. I didn't knew what was even happening.

That day.. I wished I would've died as well.

She came to console me. Right after that dreadful day.

A lot happened. I couldn't even recall much of it.

Words of encouragement and care left her mouth. She was smiling.

But her eyes...They were the opposite.

They reflected the whole truth. Everything.

She hated me.

More than anyone. I could see it. I could tell.

And I felt like my heart was crumbling. Breaking into thousand pieces.

One week later, Mitsuki returned. I was still in the hospital.

Though my injuries were far better, it was a way to keep continuous surveillance at me.

He didn't even spared a glance at me. Completely ignored me like air.

I didn't had the courage in me to call out to him.

I didn't had the courage to join the friendly reunions.

They were all gathered, embracing each other.

While I could do nothing but look through the window.

Look at them. Just like old times.

Though this time I didn't mattered. Funny.

I couldn't stand it.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to beg for her forgiveness. I would do anything. Just please.

Not you too.

Forgive me.

Though the words never left.

How could they. It was all my fault. I was ashamed of myself.

I couldn't endure it anymore and I was scared. Scared that they all hated me now.

That they all had the intent to kill me.. Hidden right behind their sad smiles.

Mitsuki. Shikadai. Inojin. Nii-chan.

Tou-san.. My dad.

No. He couldn't hate me.

My heart would never lie. He would come to me. For sure. He'll never leave me behind.

But why.. would he..?

I heard how Kawaki was finally a part of the official team 7.

Me on the other hand... Was robbed off my shinobi status whatsoever.

But. I wasn't angry. I wasn't sad.

It was... for everyone's sake. For my sake.

Right...?

Sarada lost her father. Sakura-san lost her husband. My father lost her wife and daughter.

And many.. Many more deaths.

I let it happen.

But I digress.

I couldn't help but feel insecure. Feel scared.

That any second and I would be stabbed right through by someone I loved. Someone I cared about.

To taint their pure hands with my dirty blood. To have them regret it all their lives.

Because I knew they would. I couldn't talk to anyone. I didn't deserved their attention.

Hence, I left. And never looked back.

A year passed.

I was fine though. Even if I had to hide. Change my appearance.

The blonde hair I was so proud of. Though I couldn't do anything about my eyes.

They reminded me of dad. Of Himawari.

Even though I had to sleep to my empty stomach.

Which always reminds me of mom. She would always make sure I had eaten enough.

She would've never let anyone hurt me. She.. was always there.

For me. For Himawari.

They were the only one's I had.

The only one's who'd never hate me no matter what I did.

Though now.. I was alone.

The ones sent to capture me always took more pleasure in hurting me, than taking me back.

And since every single hospital and medic shop was both out of my limits and budget.

I just had to endure the pain of whatever injury they left me with.

Luckily I always seem to find a way to escape. Which pisses them off more and more.

Hence their brutality increases everytime we meet again.

Dad.. knew everything. He was aware. He knew.

I always hoped he would come.

I waited for him.

I missed him. So much.

I just wanted to meet.. No.

At least see his face.

More than anything. Even if it had nothing but dissapointment written all over.

Cause I was a disgrace.

For a whole damn year, I waited for him.

He never came. To take me home.

Not to kill me. But to save me. To take me to that weird ramen store he loved so much.

To hug me tightly. And never let go.

But he never came.

Instead, sent his pesky little shinobis to catch me. To hurt me.

But I knew. He would've never wanted this. He would never let anyone hurt me.

He surely wouldn't allow anyone to hurt me let alone kill me.

He...Loved me. Didn't he?

Then why.. Why doesn't he come?

Yet, I didn't let my hopes die. I was his son afterall.

I waited .

Waited and waited.

Waited untill one day...it all snapped.

'Missing Nin-Boruto Uzumaki...

Shr ("eueu$ "'$$...-"

I couldn't recall.

What else was written in that notice pasted on the walls of almost every village.

"Needed.-

-Dead or alive. "

My heart crumbled once again.

For the last time.

My eyes couldn't believe it at first.

'sanctioned by- Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto'

My body went mad. I lost all the sanity I was left with.

I didn't knew. How it happened. I couldn't remember.

One moment I was in the land of waves.

And the other..I was outside the gates of that dreaded village.

My mind was dizzy. My memory was a blur.

My head hurt. My body hurt.

Though what pained me the most..was my heart.

The vague memory I could recall only including stuff like destroying the Hokage building.

'BORUTO STOP IT! '

Kami...

I had never experienced such immense power from my Karma before.

I didn't knew how it was happening .

Did somebody just say my name or something?

I don't know. I didn't care.

Next, everything went black again.

When my vision cleared again, I was walking over several bodies.

'Why...why.. WHY?!WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! '

I couldn't understand what they were saying .

Though I felt good. So very good.

Having the Hokage's throat in my hold.

"I.. "

And those were the last words I ever said to my father.

"I.. Hate you. -"

"-Hokage. "

My tears won't stop. I was happy. They were tears of happiness.

Right...?

My hand pierced his chest. He didn't say anything though.

He didn't had the tailed beast's chakra anymore. Hence he couldn't attack me.

But he didn't even tried to defend himself.

As if... As if he accepted this.

Why..?

Why else would he smile at me like that? He knew he was screwed.

The same smile he always showed me. Ever since I was young.

I felt my anger burning my body.

His eyes.

I couldn't see the fear I was yearning for.

He smiled and smiled. Untill the light finally left them.

The next moment. All my senses were coming back.

First my vision cleared. I registered everything around me.

My work here was done.

'BORUTO! '

Next... Came my hearing.

I turned back. My eyes still adjusting to the immense lightbin front of me.

Before I felt something drop inside me.

All of them. My friends. Every single one.

They stood in front of me. Their eyes held nothing but hate.

That was hate. Damn I was right from the very beginning.

She came forward.

Her face drenching with tears. Her sharingan had changed.

Though I didn't cared.

Kawaki held her back. I felt something drop inside me again.

What are you going to do? What CAN you do anymore?

Before they shared a look. I didn't knew what was going on between them all.

She turned to me again. I didn't said a word .

Before she smiled. Her eyes closing as more tears fell from them.

"Thank you... For everything."

I could feel the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

Thanking me for all that I've done to her.

Cause I.. Gave her nothing but pain.

Gave them nothing but trouble.

Memories...

So many of them. Began playing in my head.

'I'll be your right hand man and guard you well dattebasa! '

Why...was I remembering that now of all times.. ?

'I want to become a shinobi like Sasuke-san!'

My eyes became moist.

More memories started flowing through me.

The first time we met.

'My name is Uzumaki Boruto.. Go ahead. Ask me anything dattebasa! '

Mitsuki...

My friends.

The days at the academy. When all we cared about were catching the ghosts of the village.

Shikadai bickering that it was all a drag. Mitsuki saying weird stuff.

Chocho munching and Inojin with his sharp tongue.

Sarada and me were always irritated. Couldn't even stand each others's presence.

Yet.. We cared. I knew she did.

But now that I realize.

It was only one sided.

I thought they all cared.

That they were always right beside me.

Like a rock. Unwavering and strong.

Then...why?

Why not now..? What changed it all?

What changed you all?

She waved some signs I knew too well.

I felt my body heating up suddenly.

" I...

...would never forgive you. "

Ahh. Finally. What I wanted to hear.

The truth.

"I hate Boruto. "

She said. As if all those memories meant nothing.

As if those things never happened.

Before I could even move, my body was suddenly covered in black flames.

My gaze landed on Mitsuki.

He was silent. So very silent. Not the usual calm one.

But a deadly hateful one. A dissapointed one.

And at that moment I'd realized.

Nothing can be fixed anymore. The deed has been done.

Those days would never return. I lost it. I lost them.

It was too late now.

"Amaterasu. "

Her cold voice sent shivers down my spine.

I was sure I'd never see her again.

See them again.

Tears streamed down my face again.

I looked at everyone's faces as my screams muffled under my sobs.

Though no sound came out if my mouth.

Why..?

Finally I was back to my senses completely.

But it was too late now. Too late.

Our eyes met.

Just for a second.

Before the realisation hit me.

"No.. "

Things finally came back to me.

Of what I had done.

'No. I didn't-I could never. NO NO NO NO! '

This time. Yet again.

I couldn't say it.

'Please... I - forgive m-'

Before my vision left me.

It was over. Everything was.. Over now.

I opened my eyes and didn't took me long to realize it.

I had somehow learned the infamous teleportation technique using my jougan.

I didn't moved from my spot.

For 5 straight days. I just stared at the sky. Doing nothing. Eating nothing. Drinking nothing.

Sleep never came to me. And I didn't cared anymore.

It was when the 6th day arrived. That I decided to forget it all.

I would never let another otsutsuki attack the shinobi world.

I would fight them till death.

I remembered my promise. It was the only thing that kept me going.

The only thing driving me to live.

And that's how I spent the next four years of my life.

Completely alone. I lived in the remote areas.

On the very outskirts of farthest lands of all the 5 great nations.

Where no one comes. No news from the outside world. Nothing.

If any Otsutsuki were to invade the planet. I would sense it with my jougan.

Hence not knowing anything didn't bothered me.

Whatever was happening in the village right now. In the 5 great nations right now.

I didn't knew anything. Neither do I care.

They think I'm dead. Atleast they're happy now that I'm gone.

Finally. I could live peacefully.

Though I spoke too soon.

Things changed. Yet again.

The night before I landed here. In this mysterious world.

Blinding light. So very bright. Not to my taste.

And before I could realize, it completely engulfed me.

Leaving no escape. Leaving no trace.

"And when I opened my eyes ,I was at the scientific ninja tool headquarters. That.. was a few days ago. "

Yeah. I needed atleast that much time to collect my thoughts.

I recited the whole tale to the sanin.

It was already dawn. The sun would rise in a matter of minutes.

"I spent some time gathering as much intel as I can . Though at last I found it wiser to visit you instead. "

I didn't tell him everything ofcourse.

The amaterasu...was changed to a fire blast I was somehow trapped in.

I completely removed the part of me killing-anyway.

I too came to know a lot about this place.

Most of them were the same. Just like in my world.

Though few were absolutely different. Infact.. The opposite.

Though the most interesting thing?

I was already dead here.

Apparently, killed by some rogues exactly 5 years ago.

How lucky.

I wish I would've born in this world instead.

There's no sign of Otsutsuki or Kara or Ishiki.

Not even Kawaki.

This world... Was peaceful.

Devoid of any potential threats.

This was heaven.

However, I didn't deserved this heaven.

I can't stay here. I needed to go back to the despair where I belonged to.

I needed to keep my promise till my last breath.

Yes. I needed to find a way. To get answers.

Before anyone could even find the trace of my existence here.

He took in the information I gave him before beginning with his weird talk.

Things like how interesting my story was to him.

How he could've never thought two worlds could collide this way.

His nonsense didn't stopped. I was getting impatient.

"Seems like you don't have anything to tell me afterall. "

He shot a look at me before turning to a drawer of his wierd lab.

"I would've minded my tone if I were you Kid. You're at my place. Completely alone ...and weak. "

I felt something snap in me. My hand automatically drawing out my sword.

"Just tell me if you know how to... How to fix rather you prefer to die? "

A sudden silence filled the room before he turned to me.

His eyes landed on my sword.

"The phenomenon that occurred to you is rather unheard of. "

And they shined. With nothing but interest.

Before he smirked again.

Damn.

He's the same old weird freak, like he was in my world.

"Although.. " He began yet again.

"I've surely heard about some experiment the scientist were carrying out. It was rather top secret." He emphasised on the last word.

Top secret huh.

Though nothing is ever hidden from you is it?

"I would prefer you to investigate -"

" The explosion destroyed the whole area. I found nothing. "

I interrupted before he shot me an impressed, sly look.

"Well done I already assumed that. "

He took out a pen and began scribbling something on the paper.

" you might consider dealing with Katasuke instead. He was the incharge. The only one who had all the intel. "

Shit.

"Uh uh. Can't do that either. " I replied before his eyes landed on me again.

What..?

That old freak was the first person who betrayed me during the chunnin exams.

The moment I saw him. I made sure he never sees anything again.

Then again I was weak. Very weak.

I did knocked him out to near death.

Might as well be a coma.

Hence, it wasn't possible.

"Tell me another way. Quick. "

And he began to laugh. Like he expected everything that left my mouth.

Just how what is he?

"Very well. " Before I could reply, he stretched out the paper to me.

"Removing the above two options. The only people you could turn to-"

My eyes landed on the neat writing.

It was still far enough for me to not be able to read anything.

"-are them. "

Before I could even touch the other end. The lights flickered.

On and off. On and off.

And something inside me was yelling for me to run away.

"I TOLD YOU TO WAIT-"

"OI Listen! -We're on a mission here! -what the-!"

Voices. Very familiar ones.

Shit.

One belonged to Karin hence I didn't cared.

But the other one-

Inojin.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Did they.. Sensed me?

Impossible.

I made sure my chakra was completely hidden.

Meddling with the people of this world would be the last thing on my list.

Sounds of hurried footsteps coming straight to our direction had me freeze at my spot.

I opened my mouth as the words automatically left.

"I should leav—"

"I said wait-you! -MITSUKI! "

And before I could even blink-

-the damned door was slammed open.

7: A cursed night

...A full moon night it was...

One he could never forget.

The first memory of his life wasn't anything pleasant.

Ever since then he'd always despised the full moon.

A dark room. A broken glass tube.

Something wet... Not like water, a little denser.

Though it felt weird...and gross.

Wires spread like vicious snakes all around his fragile body.

Though the first thing his sunny eyes landed on.

Made him shiver.

Dark Orbs.

A deadly predator looking at his prey.

Ready to eat him alive. Anytime.

Dark and hideous.

His heartbeat went faster. He wished it to be a nightmare.

He wished to wake up right at that moment.

But.

Wake up to what?

What was his reality?

His life? His family?

Who... Was he?

"No need to be scared...Mistuki"

He'd flinched at that cold voice.

Mitsuki..

This was.. His name?

Was this person... The one who abducted him?

"My name is Orochimaru..."

The man had said to him like the most normal thing ever.

Though what came next made the boy almost cry in denial.

"And I'm your parent."

His eyes widened in fear. His heart clenched in fury.

No... He-

-This cannot be his parent.

It was a lie.

He can't have anything to do with this person. With this place.

This cannot be his life. No way.

He was lying.

It wasn't his reality. It couldn't be.

But then again... Who the hell was he anyway?.

How can he deny such a possibility if he wasn't even aware of his actual identity?

He didn't knew. He didn't knew anything.

And since that moment.

The memory stretched. Hours became days. And days became weeks.

He kept hoping for it all to be a lie. Though nothing changed.

He didn't had anything else on him. No memory. No sign.

No trace.

He had to admit it. No matter how much he hated it.

This was his life.

Not like those kids he dreamed of. Playing happily.

Out in the sunny days. Their parents laughing and giggling together .

Not trapped in a dark, damp lab with no life except him and the man claiming to be his parent.

Where he was always experimented.

Where no one would listen to his painful cries.

Where no one would save him.

Thus, at last. He accepted it.

No argument. No questions.

Whatever task left the older man's lips.

He did it without a second thought.

Untill one day.. It changed.

...A full moon night yet again...

A mysterious power surging deep within.

A mission gone wrong.

Two adults facing each other. Both of them equally suspicious.

He didn't knew what side to choose. He only had two options on him.

He tried and tried and tried.

Until his gaze landed on the very reason behind this quarrel.

And he snapped.

Hands automatically moved. Snatching the box from the hands of his own 'older' figure.

As if it contained something precious. Very precious.

Though he didn't knew where he got that idea from. Just a gut feeling maybe.

Which again... Was rare for the boy. Cause he never thinks.

Not for himself atleast.

And far he ran.

His sudden powers increasing his durability to unknown levels.

Untill he finally stopped under the full moon sky.

The cold light showering upon him in dark.

Where he'd opened the box and found the picture .

His picture.

His eyes widened as the corner of his lips stretched.

That... Was the first time he ever smiled.

Because now he knew. He knew absolutely well.

That this very moment.

This very second.

His destiny has been decided .

By his own hands. No less.

He finally found his sun.

"I am Uzumaki Boruto. Go ahead and ask me anything -ttebasa! "

If you ever ask Mitsuki.

His first impression of his sun.

The boy won't say he expected exactly this.

Cause it was nowhere near what he'd imagined.

A young lad desperate for his father's attention.

Tends to take shortcuts and takes everything for granted.

It wasn't that Mitsuki had any doubts.

He just... found the boy way more interesting than he'd comprehended.

The blonde's proudful tone had him thinking deeply.

[v-iv-rusty]

I have to stop getting attached to characters that only exist in one (1) item description

[inhonoredglory]

another character based question - how do you feel about mikasa? a lot of fans dont like her, im curious about how you feel! - armin anon

Hellooooo Armin Anon. OMG it’s been forever since I had the time to sit down and do a proper meta, and I apologize.

First off, I finished the manga!!! (So, spoilers ahead for anyone else reading this.) I had to lie down after reading 139. It’s a tremendous story and I’m still taking it all in. The set pieces and personal/emotional stakes of everything that happens is just astounding. If it’s one thing Isayama does good, it’s the gut-wrenching personal anguish that underlies the action. I’m absolutely floored. My favorite bit was probably the timey-wimey stuff in Paths and Eren. That blew my freaking mind. But onto Mikasa!!

A Cruel Yet Beautiful World

I remember way back when I started the anime that I started liking Mikasa first out of the group. I liked how sullenly silent and no-nonsense she was, and I liked her loyalty to Eren. Her emotion, especially when Eren died in Trost, was palpable and terrifyingly beautiful. Her grief was incredibly realistic––rushing off with a death wish that even she couldn’t succumb to in the end, because of the drive to fight that she got from Eren. In a world like SNK, her relentlessness breaking through her grief was incredibly moving. And her philosophy is basically the driving theme of SNK: “This is a cruel world, and yet so beautiful.”

This is the same moral message she gives Eren when he can’t find the strength in him to fight Annie––and gives him that warm, understanding, inscrutable smile that allows him to finally accept his own monsters, fight Annie, and save her and Armin. (One of my favorite panels of her from the manga, actually.) Mikasa is basically the first character we meet who embodies this contradictory morality, which grows to engulf SNK and other characters as well (Levi, Reiner, and Armin especially come to mind). Which could be why I was drawn to her at the start, since the complex moral outlook of SNK was the primary reason I fell hard for this story.

(And gosh, it’s tragic to realize that it’s teaching moments like the scene above that made Eren into the person who could influence his own child self to murder, the person who could wipe out so much of humanity, the person who could take Ymir’s challenge to free her by destroying the love of the person who cared the most about him. I’m still processing yo.)

Acker-parallels

I started really analyzing Mikasa when I had to defend her from a friend of mine who accused her of resenting Levi (for beating up Eren) and that’s why she attacked him so violently in the RTS serumbowl. Because of my research into rebutting that, a lot of my affection for Mikasa now comes in seeing the little ways in which she cares and trusts other people, including Armin, Levi, Gabi, and Jean. And her quiet sensibility that goes beyond her love and protectiveness of Eren.

With Levi in particular, I find a lot I like about her. Because you can definitely see her annoyance at him, but she also trusts him more than anyone else in the Corps outside of Armin. After Levi’s violent encounter with Historia, she was the only one who implicitly trusted Levi’s judgement, backing up Armin’s more reasoned logic. She sees beyond her own emotions and even moral feelings and realizes the world is cruel enough that sometimes people have to do dark things to help others and survive.

This is very much the same statement Levi made to the 104th when he had asked them to follow Erwin’s orders when the commander’s plans were questionable on the surface: “Do you trust him? Those dumb enough to say yes… come with me.” These two understand each other on a moral level, and they ask for their comrades’ loyalty without demanding it, because they each know that everyone’s conscience is their own.

There’s a clear parallel between Mikasa and Levi, not only because of their Ackerman heritage and sensibilities (loyal to a fault to their chosen person, impossibly strong, quiet and grim), but their frustration when they cannot protect the people they are responsible for. They both know they are the strongest around, and if they cannot fulfill on that power, a lot of people will die.

There are many moments in which Mikasa puts aside her personal feelings to do her soldierly duty, from leaving Eren to help with the evacuation of Trost to leaving Eren and Armin to fight the Colossal Titan alone in Shigonshina.

And then there’s the fact that Levi’s the one who could break past Mikasa’s headspace and distraction so that she can do the right thing. He understands her strong emotion, he respects it, but he also knows when that has to be put aside for the greater good. But he doesn’t put her down for having those emotions, either.

Strength from Eren, Humanity from Armin

Mikasa’s love and loyalty to Eren challenges her tremendously after the timeskip and her sorrow at Eren’s change is what really stands out to me about her character in the Marley arc. The absolute grief in her eyes when she tells Eren what he’s done is devastating, and it shows just how much goodness and compassion she does have.

And yet she longs to understand Eren, to trust him, to believe there can be something redeeming, and not merely jaded and tired, in what he taught her so many years ago––to fight, to win, to live.

There’s such a difference between these same words said here by Mikasa, so many years later, after so much heartbreak, to the anger and flame that were in them when she first heard them, back when she realized that this was the way of the world. That death and killing happens in the natural world everyday and that’s how you survive. That the world is both cruel and beautiful.

And yet as the years wore on, as Mikasa grew closer to others, found purpose in protecting others, sought a life with Eren… as she wandered further into the forest of life and society and relationships, she lost some of that simple injunction... to live is to fight, to fight is to win. She, like so many of the 104th and the others on this journey, found that it’s not enough to just fight and live and be satisfied. We really want it all to mean something, to have our actions be redemptive. To allow ourselves to believe that we do what we’re doing because we’re not just saving ourselves, but saving others, “saving the world” like Yelena points out (in the forest therapy session pfff). And it’s that drive for something bigger in our actions that grieves her so much with Eren, because as she wants her own actions to be fundamentally good and selfless, she wants his actions to be moral as well.

So while Eren is the person that frustrates Mikasa and motivates her to become stronger and braver than she ever was, Armin is the person who humanizes Mikasa and allows her the space to be gentle and vulnerable. She comforts Armin, confides in him, puts her faith in him, and puts her life in his hands.

She trusts Armin with Eren, and she values Armin’s intellect and compassion, qualities she doesn’t have in nearly as much quantities as he does: “There are only so many lives I can value. And… I decided who those people were six years ago. So... you shouldn’t try to ask for my pity. Because right now, I don’t have time to spare or room in my heart.”

This bit from her confrontation with Ymir and Historia was a defining moment for me with Mikasa. It’s honest and realistic in a way that few of us care to admit about ourselves, and it’s just super chilling and badass coming from her, too. It also shows how much she fights for Armin and Eren both. They are the two people she loves the most in the world, and she never gave up on saving either of them––from death or from themselves.

I’m looking back on Trost now and finding so much irony with the ending to SNK. In Trost, she was the one to give up on Eren, telling Armin that it was hopeless to try to extract Eren’s personality from his Titan form. And yet, like in the end, it’s always been between Armin and Mikasa to try to salvage Eren’s humanity. In Trost, Armin tells Mikasa to leave––to go do what she’s good at (saving lives)––and to entrust Eren to him.

It’s a huge expression of both Mikasa’s trust in Armin, and her belief in Armin’s abilities and friendship for Eren. And in the end, it’s the two of them again debating on if there’s any humanity left in Eren. The bond they share is intimate and deep. With all the military doubting Eren and scheming to take away his Titan (with even Jean and Connie unavailable to them emotionally), it’s only Armin and Mikasa against the world––the only two people who can truly consider Eren’s actions and hold off on judging him. And you can feel their love for him even as they doubt him.

And like back then, it has always been Armin who understands Eren most, the one who recognizes his own evil and Eren’s and finds a redemption in having others stop you, because you cannot stop yourself.

And that’s the thing I really take away from SNK and from Mikasa’s journey, that we all have devils inside us, and yet there is still beauty to be found, within us and in the world––from the natural wonders that Armin dreams of, to the comfort of purpose and companionship that Mikasa has in Eren. Love and wonder is what redeems us of our devils. And yet love itself is complicated, and can turn ugly in its obsession. That giving up that love is what makes the love selfless and beautiful, what absolves us of the selfishness within us. That’s what Mikasa learned. And in the end, she was able to release that love for the good of the world.

So I guess to sum up, I really love Mikasa. I can see why her dogged loyalty to Eren might annoy some fans, but I think there’s a lot more to her than simply that, and in fact, her journey and growth is heart-rending and one of the most symbolic arcs of SNK and fundamental to its entire theme. She’s a badass with a lot of emotion and depth behind her cold mask.

[logicalbookthief]

Things Left Unsaid -- An Analysis of Rei & Touya

Apparently Rei has been getting a lot of flack lately, all of it undeserved, and since I had a post analyzing her relationship with Touya in the works already, I figured no time like the present.

Disclaimer #1: There are a lot of issues with the writing for Rei’s character that have nothing to do with her and everything to do with how the storyline is using her, which I will address and examine.

Disclaimer #2: I’m someone who, while always curious as to what kind of relationship Rei had with her oldest son before he died, never thought it would be revealed that Touya was close to his mom. I don’t think you get the Dabi we see in Chapters 290-295 without him being so warped by his relationship with his father yet so dependent on his attention that he was willing to kill his brother and himself simply for his father’s acknowledgement.

But that’s what I find so interesting about Rei and Touya -- it’s a relationship that mainly consists of regrets and things left unsaid. There isn’t the anger or resentment Dabi feels for Endeavor, because that intense level of emotion sprung from the loss of the father who used to be his whole world. His feelings toward his mother seem more amicable, but also more distant.

And while she could’ve done some things differently in regards to her oldest, I want to make it clear that the distance between them was very much by design.

After all, Touya was the end goal of their marriage. It was never any secret as to why Enji wanted to marry her and to some extent Rei must’ve realized that this child was not meant to be hers: the child was the transaction, the thing she was needed to create, to give to her husband. Of course she loved Touya and was likely his primary caregiver for most of his life, but there was no doubt that once his quirk manifested and he could begin his hero training, his life would be dominated by his father. Which is what happened.

Here, I would like to point out something I noticed in the flashback chapters. We never see any panels of Enji alone with any of his children during their infancy -- even with Shouto, the perfect child he longed for, we see Rei holding Shouto, sitting by him as he sleeps. Enji is there tangentially. Once Shouto begins his training, that is when we see him with his father.

So to see Enji with Touya when he was a baby, prior to his quirk manifesting, strikes me as a big deal. But it makes sense if you remember that he’d placed all his hopes, dreams and expectations on his firstborn. Initially, it doesn’t look like he even considered the possibility that Touya wouldn’t be his successor or that his little eugenics experiment would fail; this was his first, most optimistic attempt at a masterpiece. So I don’t believe it’s far-fetched to see him spend more time with Touya right off the bat (it’s what will make the eventual abandonment all the more crushing).

However, Rei isn’t seen at all in the snippet of Touya’s infancy, despite us knowing she was relegated to the caregiver role. Rei is literally out of the picture. Compare this to how she features prominently in Shouto’s infancy or how we see her holding a baby Natsuo. You could argue that, hey, we don’t see her holding a baby Fuyumi either, but there’s other scenes where Fuyumi’s attached to her mother’s hip or crying over her being hurt. Things that suggest a closeness, when the only scene we get of just her and Touya is one where they’re at odds. 

As we move further into Touya’s childhood, though, Rei becomes the only voice we hear advocate for him against his father. I’m referencing two specific instances:

When Enji coerces her into having more children to replace Touya now that his father has deemed him a failure, something she knows will hurt their son deeply.

And after Touya lashes out at Shouto, which Rei doesn’t blame on Touya, but rather on his father. She delivers such a satisfying condemnation of his actions, probably the most cutting one Endvr’s received to date, and it so accurately sums up one of his major character flaws.

How can you call yourself a hero when you can’t even face your own son?

The tragedy of it all is that Rei never said any of this in front of Touya -- it was always said in private, just to her husband. That alone took courage, yes, but it would’ve meant everything to Touya to hear her condemn his father aloud. Instead when she does speak to him, she says this:

It’s why I can’t wrap my head around that scene in Ch 302, where after Enji admits he didn’t know what to say to Touya, Rei replies, “Neither did I.” 

When we’re shown in flashbacks during that same chapter that she did understand her son. “He just wants to be acknowledged by you” is quite the indication that she, at the very least, understood the cause of Touya’s turmoil even if she couldn’t fully relate to it herself. So why can’t she say any of this to him?

The answer is in the way she addresses Touya, as it is nearly identical to how Nao addresses Tenko in this scene:

Both Touya and Tenko grew up in similar households: the father had all the power, physical and financial, so the mothers were left to try and comfort their children in a way that didn’t go against their husbands’ desires -- and so, to use Tenko’s own words, they would “reject them with kindness.”

So it’s no wonder that Touya lashes out at his mother after she suggests he pursue other things. He isn’t five like Tenko was, he’s thirteen and has a much clearer understanding of why she says this and why it’s a bit hypocritical, since he’s aware of her situation, too.

Just as she was bound by her family, who wanted her to marry Endvr for the money and status, he’s bound by the expectations of his family. I’m not sure if I’ve seen anyone else touch on this detail, but when Touya states that he knows his grandparents sold his mom into marriage so his dad could have a child, we could infer that Touya knows enough to realize that his mother might not have necessarily wanted him.

Not him specifically, but any child — the story has neglected to flesh her out beyond her marriage and motherhood, so we have no idea if Rei wanted to become a mother prior to this arrangement, despite how much she loves her kids now — although it is possible that he might’ve internalized it this way.

So you have Touya, who at least knows with certainty that his father wanted him to exist, yet he comes to understand that his father only wants him if he can meet a specific set of expectations, and if he cannot, he’ll be discarded. If he can’t surpass All Might, he can’t fulfill his reason for existing and his father will have to replace him. So to have his mother urge him to follow a path other than becoming a hero would mean, to Touya, accepting that he is the mistake he fears he is. Of course he isn’t going to respond well to that.

I don’t like when people try to compare Touya’s reaction in this moment to Shouto’s when Rei tells him he isn’t bound by his father’s blood, using that to paint Shouto as the “good” child and Touya as the “bad” one. They didn’t react differently because of any innate sense of goodness or lack thereof -- they reacted differently because the situations are different.

Telling Shouto that he didn’t have to be like his father comforted Shouto, who only knew his father as the bully who hurt his mom. He associated his father, and his father’s fire, with all of that fear and pain -- and thus, he associated the part of himself that took after his father with those feelings. She wasn’t denying his dream of becoming a hero, only assuring him that when he became a hero it could be whatever kind of hero he chose to be, that he wasn’t doomed to be like his father.

Whereas what she tells Touya sounds a lot like what his father told him, which was to give up on being a hero and pursue other aspirations.

Encouraging Shouto to become his own version of a hero still falls in line with what Endvr ultimately wants, which is for Shouto to be a hero capable of surpassing All Might. Whereas this is what happens when Touya continues to train to do that against his father’s wishes:

This is where the framing begins to bother me and where Rei’s characterization becomes inconsistent. 

So in this scene from Ch 302, we see Enji abusing his wife for “letting” Touya continue to train, punishing her for her “failure” to stop him. Obviously, none of that is Rei’s fault. If anything, Enji would be more responsible for preventing Touya from hurting himself since he’s the reason his son is hurting himself in the first place.

Moreover, the fact that he hits Rei over this sort of muddies the water of an previously-established narrative. Since the Sports Festival arc, we’ve known that Endvr abused his wife because she tried to interfere with Shouto’s training. It got to the point where she was terrified of her husband and it drove her to a breakdown. Why introduce this new aspect to the abuse, when it was already established that a) he was physically abusive and b) his motivations for abusing her were explicit to the audience? 

I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense that a man who hits his wife for one reason could find another reason to do it and justify his actions to himself. And while the scene does portray Endvr in a bad light to show how wrong his actions are, literally draping his figure in shadow, why does it even dare to suggest the idea that Rei was remiss in her duties as a mother? Again, the scene isn’t even necessary, since the narrative has long-since showed the audience that Enji abused his wife. 

By itself, the scene would read as further exploration of how Rei was victimized and how it affected her children. When you look at it with the chapter as a whole, though? Remember, this is the chapter where Rei claims that all of the family shares the blame in what happened to Touya, displacing some of the blame that rightfully rests on Enji. 

But my major gripe with this scene is how it reframes the sole moment we get of Rei and Touya alone. Because we know that Rei understands Touya, based on her confrontations with her husband in Ch 301 & 302. Rather than encourage him to be what he wants or acknowledge that his father is in the wrong, however, her advice falls in line with what Enji wants -- to stop Touya from training. And this comes after a scene where we see Enji beat his wife when she doesn’t stop Touya from training.

With all that in mind, it could potentially be read as Rei trying stop Touya for the sake of protecting herself and the family -- I don’t think it’s coincidence that in the scene where he hits her that we see Shouto, Fuyumi & Natsuo all as witnesses who are very distressed by what’s happening to their mother -- at the cost of Touya’s need to be validated. And if executed well or at least better than it has here, that wouldn’t be a bad choice of narrative per se, and it would fit into the pattern where the households the villains were raised in -- notably Shigaraki, Dabi & Toga -- mimic the society they live in, just on a smaller scale.

Except. Does that sort of narrative make sense based on what we already know about Rei?

Certainly, it is natural to want to protect yourself under physical and/or emotional duress by appeasing your abuser. This sort of complicated dynamic appears in the Shimura family, too. Just like in the house that Kotaro built, the Todoroki family revolves around the desires of the abuser and is dictated by his whims.

I would argue that Nao does give us a well-written example of this narrative. From the beginning, it’s established that she loves Tenko dearly. But in the house her husband built, there’s no room to love her son as he deserves. She prioritizes the feelings of Tenko’s father for the sake of maintaining peace in the household and this is established quickly and plainly.

Early on in the flashback, Kotaro exerts his control over the house, while Nao + her parents look uncomfortable. Despite this, we watch as they comply with his rules, all at the expense of Tenko’s feelings. When she stands up to Kotaro at last, it is not where Tenko can see and already too late. It’s a painful story, full of regret and sadness, but it is consistent from start to end. Nobody feels out-of-character or there to prop up anybody else.

So why doesn’t Rei feel as consistent in this narrative?

Because it doesn’t fit with everything we knew about Rei prior to her abuser’s subpar redemption arc.

The way she interacts with Touya would make sense, if this was how she was portrayed from the start. However, her behavior in Shouto’s flashback -- where she was first introduced -- contrasts what we get in the later Todoroki flashbacks.

Let’s compare this to the scenes in Ch 302. Here, Rei interferes on Shouto’s behalf. She advocates for her son in front of Shouto where he can hear. She stands up to his bully/villain and tries to protect him, while also validating his feelings in the process. Directly after this, Enji hits her, not for failing to comply with his demands, but for defying him. 

It is difficult to reconcile this Rei with the Rei we get in Ch 302. And if you try to find an in-story reason for the inconsistency, the options either do a disservice to Rei or make things even more painful for Touya. But I’m sure most of you have realized that I’m going to suggest a reason for this inconsistency that goes beyond the canon.

Because when Rei was first introduced in the story, Endvr was unequivocally the villain in the Todoroki family, not some misguided patriarch trying to atone for his “past” mistakes. Years later and in the midst of his redemption arc, the narrative seems to be intent on making this man more palatable to readers, and it’s used Rei at every opportunity to prop up his efforts to be better. Often, though, it takes some of the heat off Enji by displacing it onto other family members, most significantly Rei & Touya.

Like, you can literally see the difference in the frame from early in the manga to now:

Ch 39: Endvr trains his five-year-old to the point where he’s throwing up due overextension and being punched by a fully grown adult who is also his father. Rei tries to protect her son and gets slapped by Endvr. All the blames rests squarely on Endvr, who is clearly the aggressor and painted as the villain here.

Ch 302: Endvr hits Rei for not preventing Touya from sneaking out to train, knocking her to the ground. Again, Endvr is clearly the aggressor, but oh this time it’s not driven solely by his selfish desires it’s also cocnern for his son; Rei is the victim but oh she also should have been watching him more closely, and oh well why was Touya going out in the first place, when everyone has told him to stop and he knows his mom will get punished for it?

Honestly, I can understand where some people have mixed feelings over Rei’s character, particularly since the writing has done her such a disservice recently. With that being said, however, it takes a minimum amount of critical thinking to recognize that while you can criticize some choices she made, you cannot hold her to the same standard of accountability as Enji, it’s absurd. The power imbalance was obviously tipped in Endvr’s favor, always.

It is a shame, too, that we can’t have more discussions that don’t turn into some readers (a lot of whom are attempting to make Endvr sound less horrible than he actually was) trying to demonize her. It’s doubly a shame the story itself doesn’t bother to flesh her out as a person, instead using her as a prop, because the complex relationships she has with Touya -- with all her children, really -- has plenty of room for exploration. 

Like, there was no reason to add this new dimension of resentment due to her spouting Enji’s words back at Touya, when there was already a source of tension supported by previous canon -- the neglect the Todoroki kids suffered because Rei couldn’t be the parent they needed, due to her declining mental health and eventual breakdown.

Or, if you want to complicate their dynamic further, why not add something that focuses on Rei and has nothing to do with Enji? We learn in the flashbacks that Rei agreed to the marriage more-or-less to please her family, lamenting that she “intended to smile through it to the end,” essentially admitting that her hope was she could grin and bear it. It is telling that she had this attitude before entering her marriage; evidently, she was raised with the idea that she should be acquiescent to her parents’ whims and not express herself if she was only going to be contrary. Maybe she didn’t know how to deal with Touya’s very expressive, very emotional outbursts as a result. And her inability to respond would be the exact opposite of what Touya was seeking.

Not to mention that Touya died, and for the last decade, Rei was under the impression she had lost her son forever. He died while she was hospitalized, torn up with guilt over what she did to Shouto, only to find out that her other son died in a frankly horrific manner, and she could do nothing. By the time she would’ve found out, it was too late to even try to do anything. I can’t imagine what she must’ve felt in terms of regret alone, plus her grief. And I’m still mad we were robbed of her reaction to Touya being alive, because now suddenly there is a chance to do something, to change what was once written in stone.

Or what about Touya’s feelings for his mother, that have yet to be given much depth? As the oldest and most aware of his existence, it seems like he was the first to truly understand his mother’s situation and I can’t help but wonder: If Touya knew he vessel for his father’s ambition, and his mother was sold into role of creating/caring for him, did he question her love for him? Once he found out one parent’s love was conditional, it wouldn’t be a leap for him to consider it for the other. And yet if that’s true, Dabi doesn’t appear to hold any ill-will towards her for that. He was angry at her hypocrisy, because he knows she should understand, but her words to him didn’t reflect that.

All of that is fascinating and so much better than what we got in canon, so far at least. I’m hoping for them interact in the present at least once before the end of the series, and I think they will, but as to how satisfying a reconciliation it’ll be, I guess we’ll have to wait to see how the Todoroki plotline progresses from here on out.

[covenlegacy]

mrs bts in bed

#taehyung

Selfish, capricious. She will do everything as she wants and fulfill all her desires in the first place. Usually her partners are satisfied only because they, in principle, got something, or it was also their secret desire.

She wants everything in bed to be perfect. Reliable partner, strong passion. Likes quick sex or when feelings overflow. Perhaps she is turned on by the choice of many fans. Control, blah blah.

#jungkook

Cold attractiveness, "mourning" sexuality. Experienced, in bed like a Swiss watch. Powerful, authoritarian. Most likely, she is more excited by the thought process than by the action itself, although she can perfectly perform it. Most likely he likes to plan sex, calculate and do everything methodically. Most likely not involved in the process one hundred percent. She has mastered the technique, but in the process is more of an observer, there is no emotional involvement. He notices everything, analyzes everything, any "mistakes" of the partner. And you are unlikely to notice it.

She loves when they want her and show it. She likes the feeling of lust from a partner, likes to "bathe" in the rays of adoration. Start from the fact that they want her, and show it for her. Like comfort, devotion and coziness. When she sees that she is loved.

#suga

I think she loves the theme of suspension, immobilization. Most likely she is a slave in bed. A sacrificial role, something like that. She likes the feeling that she can't control the situation. Perhaps she is completely given to her partner, ignoring her desires. He tries to fully satisfy him, sometimes even abandoning his principles. He likes to keep the excitement on the same level, pull the pleasure. Perhaps games with delaying orgasm.

She is excited by the idea of ​​love, togetherness, slow and sensual long sex. Perhaps he likes to watch his partner finish.

#rm

She is solid in sex, stable, a little selfish and reliable. She may not know multipositions, but she knows how to "belong". She is not emotional, in most cases she has a "headache". But the conjugal duty will be performed with periodicity. Traditional but does not like something new.

Perhaps he likes games with punishment. Police officer and criminal. She also most likely likes to talk in principle on this topic, or rather a detached decision whose fantasy will be next Friday.

#j-hope

She loves to play inaccessibility. Most likely takes a defensive position in sex. I'm not sure, but maybe she has sex = danger.

She will also be assertive with those whom she trusts, Strong sexual desire, she will rule the ball, direct. Aggressive during sex, most likely likes to bite, scratch, mark territory.

If she doesn’t like something, she can stand on the defensive and leave. He'll be lucky if she doesn't know any martial arts.

She likes to be treated with tenderness, she is turned on by instructions, or when she acts as a teacher. She loves when she is praised, in principle, talking during sex is a must-have.

#jin

Long, drawn out, sensual sex, when each process is given due time and attention. More lover of foreplay than process. Will click on all the points that he knows, knows how to bring to orgasm without undressing. He likes to delay the action and orgasm, a long-playing little thing.

He loves new positions, new ways, ready to try and conquer. Perhaps he loves adrenaline, something on the verge of pain and pleasure, or at the peak of feelings and emotions, when one flows into another. Maybe a little suffocation.

#jimin

She loves the game with one goal. Most likely, she is used to the fact that only she herself can fully satisfy herself. A little indifferent in sex. Will not simulate an orgasm if it was not. Can get up in the middle of the process if she didn’t like something and go to drink tea. It fires up quickly and dies just as quickly. She is often bored with partners and sex itself. More inclined to experience "orgasm" from intellectual conversations than from the process itself. Perhaps he likes talking in sex, and dirty words.

It can just wind up out of boredom, or when you want something. To kill time, to cheer yourself up.

[song-of-the-swans]

Natalia did nothing wrong.

I recently reread Bronze no Tenshi and oh my God I love Georges D’Anthès with all my heart - as if I already didn’t love him enough when I first read this manga. He’s so respectful, he’s ready to sacrifice everything for Natalia and he understands a woman’s struggles. 

I don’t despise Pushkin in Bronze no Tenshi as it often happens to me with the other “love rival” of Saito’s stories, sometimes I pity him, but I also think a lot of people overlook his flaws and mistakes in his relationship and attitude towards Natalia out of their admiration for the figure of the real Pushkin, the poet. On the other hand, I see a lot of blame put on Natalia, when, if you really think about it, Natalia did nothing wrong. Natalia cannot be the usual strong, single-minded, fierce woman that Saito portrays in her stories: it wouldn’t be realistic and true to the time when the events take place. In my opinion, Natalia was a good person that always sacrificed herself for the people around her, who had for once the chance to do something exclusively for herself when she met the love of her life, D’Anthès. 

I personally am analyzing the events and the characters of the manga as someone who didn’t know Pushkin the first time she read Bronze no Tenshi. I see a girl who grew up in the country, with her relatives advising her not to speak her mind or reveal her true personality to anyone, with a crazy father who traumatized her, with a strict, oppressive mother who forbade her to read books, only ingraining religious concepts in her, and who tried to sell her to the best offerer when she was only 16. Everyone makes her believe her only merit is to be beautiful. When she is 16, she meets Pushkin who feverishly falls in love with her and, moved by his persistence, she develops a crush on him and agrees to marry him. She sees him as an escape from her condition and as a chance of independence from her mother. She knows he can treat her right and, in her innocence, she believes that would be enough to make her happy, because she is not interested in love, having never experienced it. Natalia says that love scares her because people in love act irrationally, so she keeps on living a peaceful life with Pushkin fulfilling her duties in the way she was brought up. But she doesn’t know love and... she’s never truly happy or satisfied. Then D’Anthès arrives in Russia. In a certain sense, he’s someone used to be treated as an object of desire by the others just like Natalia. When he sees her the first time, he finds her beautiful just like every other man, but he doesn’t try to pursue her, nor is he interested in her. When Natalia tries to get close to him for her sister’s sake, he misunderstands her at first because he thinks she’s just treating him like the other women. Then their interactions increase and they find each other insufferable. They bicker, because D’Anthès doesn’t idealize her. People do nothing but point out Natalia’s beauty to the point of exhaustion, but D’Anthès actually treats Natalia as his equal - even recognizing how it must be tiring to be always told the same compliment over and over - and more importantly as a woman. And during their arguments, Natalia’s personality comes out to her own surprise, the personality that we only saw at the beginning of the story when she’s alone with her sisters and that she was told to suppress. She gets emotional and worked up. He gets a reaction out of her.  They get to know each other as two people of the same age. He advises her. He protects her. He starts to understand her and he realizes she’s genuine and naive, that she doesn’t scheme, that she doesn’t do things for her own good, that she doesn’t want to hurt others and that she has no experience of life… and love. And they fall in love madly, to the point they will sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of seeing the other safe and at peace, since there’s not a place on the earth where they could possibly be allowed to be together. Anna Karenina is quite an example. Their only option was to flee abroad but that would’ve meant for Natalia not to see her family and children anymore. Leaving aside that I wouldn’t even have blamed Natalia for abandoning a whole brood of children that were literally put into her as if her body didn’t belong to her, D’Anthès understands that for her. When the day comes, he decides that he has to be stronger for her sake, because even if Natalia was willing to leave, she could’ve blamed herself all her life and died out of guilt. Ironically, D’Anthès has understood and known Natalia more during their illicit affair of stolen glances, confessions that lasted the time of a dance and secrete meetings, than her husband, who’s lived with her for years, ever did. Natalia always thought about the others. She first sacrificed herself for the sake of her family when they wanted her to get married. She restlessly gave her husband children he put in her one after the other without even letting her recover from the previous pregnancy, without ever objecting. After her marriage, she took her older sisters in her house to allow them to live a happier, social life in town and she escorted them at balls to chaperone them even when she was pregnant and had to take care of her body. She started to interact with D’Anthès to introduce him to her older sister who had a crush on him. She never wanted to hurt her admirers, even those who were pestering her. When she finally meets the love of her life, she fights back her feelings as much as she can and even avoids to be intimate with him because “her body doesn’t belong to her”. The moment she’s about to flee with him and make love to him, she physically stops herself because “she was about to be happy” in such a dramatic situation and “that is unforgivable”. Natalia is not even free to put an end to her life, because she has obligations, she’s leaving a family behind. So when she thinks D’Anthès doesn’t love her anymore when he sends her back home, she also knows she has to keep on living. And, in the end, we know her biggest sacrifice was to give up for good to the only person she ever loved for the sake of her children, her husband, her relatives and for social pressure… but even that is not enough for her husband.

Nevertheless, readers still blame her, just like Natalia blames herself for having fallen in love, just like she guilt trips herself throughout the story when she thinks she’s become someone who only thinks about her own happiness. After Natalia puts an end to her affair for her family, Pushkin decides to duel D’Anthès anyway and die, leaving her not only alone, but also making impossible for her to remarry with her lover decades later and abandoning the children just like Natalia would have done had she fled abroad with D’Anthès. With the only difference that Natalia would have done it to be with the one she loved after having lived a life that didn’t belong to her, whereas Pushkin did it for pride and vanity.

I suppose people blame Natalia because they think that she cannot make up her mind, but the truth is that the characters’ feelings are very clear in Bronze no Tenshi: Natalia doesn’t love her husband romantically and never has. You hear her thoughts, you watch her actions. She repeatedly confirms that she sees Pushkin as a relative and a father figure, even before D’Anthès came in the picture. Natalia didn’t fall out of love because of D’Anthès and D’Anthès didn’t steal her from Pushkin: she simply never loved him and Pushkin knew before and after marrying her. But he does nothing about it, he is happy to have her because she is beautiful and because he idealized her. Sure Pushkin loves his wife, but he doesn’t actually know her. He treats her like a muse, he calls her angel, he acts like a father towards a child, he scolds her, he keeps secrets and financial issues from her and when Natalia begins to show a firmer and more mature personality after she meets D’Anthès, he admits he liked her childish side more. He doesn’t treat her like a woman and an equal like D’Anthès does. If Pushkin had been depicted truer to his real physical appearance and age, I don’t think many people would’ve overlooked his obsession with making Natalia pregnant out of insecurity to “leave his mark on her” because she’s his possession.

When Pushkin got engaged to Natalia, he even promised her mother that he would’ve stepped aside in case Natalia realized one day that her life could’ve been different had she not married him. But he doesn’t. Or let’s say he does, but in an egoistical and manipulative way. Yes, it’s understandable on his part because it’s not easy to give up to the one you love and Russian society didn’t allow divorce. Yes, he doesn’t blame his wife for falling in love and he also waits for Natalia to come back to him...  but he doesn’t realize that Natalia cannot be who he used to think she was through his rose tinted glasses and this to me shows that he’s actually more egoistical in his love than D’Anthès is with Natalia. D’Anthès is ready to be hated by her for the sake of seeing her happy. The moment D’Anthès is close to obtaining happiness and fulfilling his dream to live with her in France, he realizes that Natalia won’t ever have the chance to live with him in a dream, because she has too many things at stake that even love cannot make up for: the price she has to pay for becoming his wife is too high, it would kill her. So he sends her back home and he hurts her, pretending he never loved her in order for her to give up on him more easily. D’Anthès never once tried to force himself physically on Natalia, he never had to be told “stop” twice. He is ready to die for her, to marry someone he doesn’t love to protect her honour. D’Anthès doesn’t want Natalia to break under the burden of having left her family to be with him, Natalia doesn’t want D’Anthès to willingly die in the duel with Pushkin because he can’t live without her. Natalia returns home but becomes an empty shell because she thinks her love hates her, D’Anthès goes mad because everything he did to see her happy turned out to be useless. They aren’t allowed to find peace whether they’re together or not.

When that becomes evident, Natalia will finally do something for herself. She makes love with her lover to say goodbye and to carry that memory forever in her heart, before returning to her husband’s side. But we all know what her husband’s final decision was to put an end to this situation. He dies, D’Anthès leaves Russia forever, Natalia loses her dear husband and her lover. She meets D’Anthès again 15 years later in the same place they became aware of each other, they reminisce about their young days, but they can’t be together this time as well.

Despite her tragic endings, Saito always treats her heroines more kindly than her male character (s). It’s like she protects them. They’re always mentally stronger than their lovers and they are resilient… in a way they are always able to find a happy ending in their misery. Natalia is mentally stronger, she survives, she remarries to protect herself, but, partially because this is based off real events, she also is probably the most miserable heroine portrayed by Saito. In the end she doesn’t find her happy ending, nor does she succeed in anything. She just finds peace of mind that she imposed on herself by sealing her feelings for D’Anthès and grieving her first husband, fulfilling the role society required. And I truly pity her. I honestly don’t know how people can blame her.

[succubusphan]

A Rose of Winter - Chapter 16

Summary: All Daniel wanted to do was escape the stifling life as a Stark of Winterfell and travel the world. Between the looming threat North of The Wall and the den of lions in the capital, he unexpectedly finds love in the midst of a war set to tear Westeros apart. Caught between loyalty to his family and duty, he is torn in a thousand directions that all point to one man: Philip Flowers.

Rating: E (There are only a few smut scenes but it's an M for battles, war, and other adult topics)

Tags/warnings: I removed most triggers (no R or SA, no minors involved in sex, no gore). It does include: Deaths either written without details or in a poetic way if it's an important character (Dan and Phil, Ghost and Balerion will live but everyone else is fair game). Strangers to lovers, Slow Burn, missing each other. The prophecies and stories foreshadowed are fulfilled, a satisfying ending to the entire story without plot holes. Extreme canon divergence. Dan and Phil are not replacing characters, they were written in. GAME OF THRONES AU

Author's Note: This is my OSPBB 2022, Couldn't have done it without my betas @effingmeteors and @filisaceaf.

Word Count: Each chapter will be around 15k and have at least one Dan or Phil pov. The total wc is about 210k.

Read on Ao3

SANSA

Sansa stepped out of the Courtyard and smiled as she looked around. Winterfell was completely white from the first snows of winter. She knew this would be unlike any other winter before but it still helped her feel more at home. It was a weird feeling being back when it was not all of them together. One by one, she’d lost her family members, those who made the beautiful castle a home and everyone who had ever known her parents was gone. She had not felt so out of place with Jon and Dan back but now that they were in Dragonstone, things felt different. 

She let out a deep sigh, her smile finally vanishing from her face. She wondered if Bran and Arya… no, she couldn’t allow herself to think about them. Nobody had heard of them in years and she couldn’t afford to lose herself to sadness. The people of Winterfell counted on her to prepare for the upcoming winter and, more importantly, for the battles to come. Dan had taken her opinion in high regard and she didn’t want to disappoint him. 

The armoury looked well equipped but she instructed the blacksmith to continue working on new weapons until Jon could bring dragonglass. The man asked her how long it would be until the King returned but Sansa didn’t know what to say. “When he gets what we need. You need to trust.”

They still needed more grain. She wouldn’t have imagined that Lord Renly would be helping with that matter by continuing to raise pigs in the small farm he’d been handling the last few years and putting the meat to dry in salt. Ser Loras had helped as well, even if he was still angry at those who had known about Renly’s escape, but pleading with Lady Olenna on behalf of Winterfell had worked, even if it had come with a cost. Ser Loras was to lead the Tyrell army into battle on her behalf for the Targaryen Queen which openly opposed Renly’s claim to The Iron Throne. Still, Renly smiled and let him know that leading an army was what he was best at and he should listen to his family. 

Sansa had felt a bit flustered at the way they looked at each other; she felt as if she was intruding into a very private moment. Ser Loras had smiled at her sadly, and told her not to worry about the grain. Highgarden would aid the north.

That expression made her nod and leave as fast as possible. Sansa knew well why Loras only had sad smiles, why even the few happy moments he had were clouded by melancholy. He missed Margaery, just like Sansa missed her - and Shae. She stopped in the middle of the Courtyard and realised that she was the common denominator in the equation. She barely had any family left and no friends at all. Every single friend she’d ever had had died in horrible circumstances or abandoned her; even those she left behind when she left for King’s Landing - they were all gone. 

She hadn’t realised she was crying until one of the guards approached her with a frown. “Lady Sansa, is everything alright?”

Sansa rubbed at the tear rolling down her cheek and sniffled. “Yes. I’m just - my eyes are tired from sewing. I should head inside.”

“My Lady, if I may-”

“Yes?”

“There’s a girl at the gates, she’s carrying a young man, a cripple. He asked for you by name.”

Taking a step back, she gasped. Could it be? She ran to the gates and froze on the spot. “Bran?” she called.

Her brother turned towards her and smiled, his eyes a bit far away, but it was still him. 

“Bran!” She yelled and ran to him, pulling him into a tight hug. He was so tall even sitting on the cart! “You have grown so much.”

“You too,” he said. “I wish I could have been there to help you when you needed me; I’m sorry.”

Sansa pulled away and looked into his eyes with a frown. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen it all. I’m the Three-Eyed Raven now. I’ve seen what Joffrey did, and Littlefinger and Cersei and even what Ramsay would have done to you if you hadn’t killed Littlefinger. You did the right thing.”

“How?”

“I’m still learning to control the greensight. Let’s sit by the fire. I’ll tell you everything, but first we need to let Jon know.”

“Know what?” Sansa asked.

“When to strike. There isn’t much time. We need to get everyone ready for battle.”

---

Staring out of her window, Sansa smiled and continued working metal pieces and feathers into her heavier dress. She could see Lady Brienne sparring with Podrick and off to the side, Shireen was trying her best to avoid getting hit by Lyanna Mormont’s mighty sword. The girls were young but knew it was very important for them as women to not depend on men to fight for them. Even if they had someone to protect them, things could change in a moment and they would need to kill someone to save themselves. Sansa taught Shireen every single thing she’s learned in King’s Landing and perhaps, she too looked closely at how Lyanna moved. She found swords troublesome but she needed to at least learn to swing one, just in case. Dan had helped her with her dag- with the dagger.

Suddenly, a set of hands covered her eyes and Sansa moved her hand to her thighs reaching for the blade.

“Hello, ugly,” a voice whispered in her ear. She knew that voice, she would never forget it, even if it had been years. She remembered looking at herself in the mirror with her best dress and a new hairstyle before a feast only to hear a laugh behind her. Sansa would call her midget and sob fat tears of rage at Arya’s mocking voice calling her ugly.

She smiled. She’d have never guessed one day she’d be happy to be called ugly, but she grabbed her sister’s hands and brought them to her lips. “H-hello, midget,” she said, trying her best not to cry. 

Arya wrapped her into a tight hug from behind. “I’ve missed you.”

Sansa tried to stand but Arya laughed and pulled her back onto her chair. “Shhh, I’m still too short!” She laughed.

“I’m still ugly,” Sansa joined.

“You are not ugly, you have never been ugly. You couldn’t be ugly if you tried,” Arya sniffled.

“Stop complimenting me, I’ll think you are someone pretending to be my sister.”

“Hmm, almost, but no,” Arya said, finally letting go of Sansa to sit across from her. 

“What do you mean?”

Arya only smiled and shook her head. “Nevermind. How are you?”

Sansa let out a deep sigh and looked into the fire. “I - I am alright, now that you are here, and Bran too.”

“Bran?” Arya asked, her eyes shining.

Nodding, Sansa extended her hand towards her little sister and led her to the Godswood

DAENERYS

Daenerys looked down at the message Varys had just delivered. A raven coming from Casterly Rock, where she had sent Grey Worm and her Unsullied. She and Tyrion had decided that it would be advantageous to overtake the Lannister home and resources, whatever there might be left. To her surprise, they had left the castle entirely empty, except - Once they entered the castle, the Greyjoy fleet had put them under siege. The Lannister men had already marched south to attack Highgarden with a stronger army than she and Olenna had anticipated. The Dothraki were already there but the Unsullied could not join them and lose Casterly Rock. There was only one option. 

“Right. Lord Varys, I am leaving you and Missandei in charge for a few hours, perhaps a full day.”

“Your Grace, surely you are not about to -”

“Surely I am, Lord Varys. I am not going to let my people and my allies die while I sit idly by.”

She walked past The Spider and rushed to her bedroom, putting on a light coat that still allowed her a good range of movement. It was going to be a long trip. Danny smiled in spite of the gravity of the situation when she turned a corner and found Phil pressing Dan against a wall, kissing him passionately. For a moment she wondered…

“Your Grace?” Jon Snow called after her. “Have you considered my request? We really need to mine for dragonglass.”

“I am much too busy, Lord Snow. We will speak upon my return,” she said, not stopping to speak to him, causing him to run after her even out to the hillside.

“Return? Where are you going?”

“To battle, of course. My bloodriders need me,” Daenerys said. 

Jon Snow finally nodded and stepped back as she climbed onto Drogon. “I wish you good fortune and safe travels.”

“Thank you.”

She gave the command and Drogon rose high above the clouds, Viserion and Rhaegal followed them in the journey South West. According to Danny’s calculations, if she flew at the perfect angle, she’d be able to see the Kingswood and travel west from there, straight to Highgarden.

Flying was one of the most wonderful feelings in the world, even when the winds were strong and the stakes were high, there was no other place she’d rather be than on Drogon’s back. It was, perhaps, a bit silly, but she had missed the freedom of coming and going as she wished instead of being confined to her birth home.  

Then she finally saw it. The Kingswood. She directed Drogon west and laughed when she saw her other children taking some fish from the Narrow Sea before following her. Daenerys followed the Wendwater river into the forest and what she assumed to be the Blueburn river. At least she could make no mistake, any of the rivers in the part of Westeros came from the Mander and would consequently lead her to her destination. 

The Lannister camp was hard to miss from the sky as well, even as the Dothraki were raiding it. She saw carts full of food leaving for King’s Landing, no doubt a demand in exchange for letting Olenna live just a bit longer. At least Daenerys hoped the Lady was alive still, that she hadn’t been too late to save her. Taking a deep breath, Danny said “Dracarys.”

It was odd to finally be able to do this, it didn’t bring her any joy, nor did it let her anger for what The Lannisters had done to her family. Watching their soldiers burn alive and run, screaming in pain was an awful thing to do, but by taking the offensive, Danny was saving so many Dothraki lives, southern lives too.

She saw from the sky that the Lannister army had a weird and enormous device, almost like a harpoon, and one of the men was rushing to point it at her child. She made Drogon land just out of reach, but not a minute after hitting the ground, a man charged at them with a spear while another was after him. Drogon didn't need her command to try to burn them both. She was unable to see through the flames, but when the fire was finally out, they were no longer there.

The gates of Highgarden opened for her, welcoming her, but first, she asked the surviving Lannister soldiers to swear loyalty to her in exchange for their lives. Most of them accepted and bent the knee, but two men refused. 

The head of House Tarly and his son both chose to die by fire instead of joining her. She knew it would be wise to keep the son alive but what loyalty could she expect from a man if she had burned his father. Both of them were openly opposing her and if she pardoned them, her word would lose all meaning, so she had to.

Daenerys was led inside with a group of Dothraki in tow and invited into Lady Olenna’s study.

“Your Grace, it is good to see you.”

“I feared I’d been too late,” Daenerys said with a smile. She liked the woman, they hadn’t met that long ago but it was the closest to a grandmother she has ever had.

Lady Olenna shook a small vial in front of her. “Almost, but I am old enough for it to not matter. Jaime Lannister was here, he offered me a way out. I was about to take it when I heard your… children. I at least let him know that I was the one to poison Joffrey.”

“The King promised to your granddaughter? Why would you do such a thing?”

“Tommen was much better for her. He would have been a decent King and let her be The Queen that she deserved to be, and for a short time, she was.”

Daenerys cleared her throat. “Would you like me to dispose of that?” She asked, looking at the vial in Olenna’s hands.

“Of course not, you never know when you’ll need it. I suggest you always carry some.”

“I will try to remember,” said Danny. “I’m not sure if the news has reached you but Ser Loras is in Winterfell along with Renly Baratheon.”

“I heard news of Loras riding north with Phil, but I didn’t want to let myself hope, but Renly?”

“He has been in hiding for years after an attempt on his life. It seems Phil, Daniel Stark and only a few others knew of it.”

“Loras didn’t. I thought I would lose him to grief for his dumb husband. Maybe he isn’t as dumb as I had thought.”

Daenerys raised one eyebrow at her. “He has Stannis Baratheon’s daughter and has been raising her as his own.”

Lady Olenna nodded. “Well, he managed to surprise me, I’ll give him that. Now, I believe your precious Unsullied are under siege in Casterly Rock. I suggest that you see to it that the Greyjoy fleet is destroyed before you take King’s Landing. This is your chance.”

---

Flying up to Casterly Rock didn’t take long, and destroying the Greyjoy fleet had seemed easy at first, but the ships were armed with the harpoons. One of them nearly got Viserion, but he was luckily able to avoid it. Daenerys had to change tactics or she would be risking her children. She rose above the clouds once more and descended upon them in an erratic pattern, Viserion and Rhaegal coming from the opposite side, effectively helping her set nearly the entire fleet ablaze before flying back to Dragonstone.

By the time she set her eyes on the island, the sun was rising above the Narrow Sea once again. She didn’t expect there to be anyone waiting for her, but Jon Snow was. He smiled softly at her when she landed. “Your Grace, I trust that you won the battles.”

“There was never another option,” she said, rolling her eyes despite being unable to hide her own smile. “Did you wait for me all night?”

“No,” he said. “I came here to see the sunrise and … check if you were back.”

Daenerys' smile widened. “I see.”

Jon Snow then looked into Drogon’s eyes and pressed his hand to his snout. She held her breath as Drogon smelled him and hesitated before exhaling sharply. It was not a full seal of approval, but it was more than anyone other than Daenerys herself had received from him. 

“Is it really true?” She asked. “That you have seen them?”

“I have. The Wights… they are merely claimed bodies of those who have passed, mangled, missing pieces, it doesn’t really matter, the magic can make them walk, run even, and attack. They have giants and mammoths too now. The White Walkers are, for lack of a better word, terrifying. Just - Ice creatures with piercing blue eyes riding their dead horses, leading the wights into battle. When I killed one, some of the wights collapsed too.” Jon said, his eyes looking out to the sea and he ran his fingers on Drogon’s scales.

“How- How did you kill it? The White Walker,” Daenerys wasn’t sure if she could trust him, but she needed to know - just in case.

“Valyrian steel,” he said. “The only other way is dragonglass.”

She nodded. “I will allow you to mine for dragonglass, as long as you keep your part of the deal. I help you and you and all of the northern houses will help me.”

Jon Snow smiled widely at her. “Of course, Your Grace. Thank you.”

Daenerys walked back to the castle accompanied by the Northerner until she dismissed him, right outside her planning room. Once he was out of sight, she opened the door and entered. To her delight, Missandei was waiting for her as well as -

He walked up to her and kneeled. “Your Grace, I did as you asked and now I have returned to be at your service - If you will have me.”

“Are you really healed?” She asked, looking at his skin.

“I am,” Jorah said.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else at my side, my friend,” she said and pulled him into a tight hug as soon as he stood. “Thank you for surviving and returning,” she choked out.

“It was you who kept me alive when I thought there was no escape. You and a foolish Maester apprentice at the Citadel,” Ser Jorah said, pulling away to look at her.

“I would love to meet him one day,” she said. 

JAIME

A chill ran down Jaime’s back when he remembered what he thought would be the last moments of Olenna Tyrell’s life. 

He’d walked into her study and nodded politely, presenting her with a small vial of poison with the promise that it would be quick and painless. She, still in her mourning gown, had

 only given him a sad smile and pointed out that Daenerys Targaryen had expected him to be defending Casterly Rock but soon abandoned the topic in favour of discussing Cersei with him. She’d seemed interested in reminding him how much of a monster his sister was and the atrocities she had committed, things even Lady Olenna hadn’t been able to imagine, like blowing the Sept with her son and two grandchildren inside, killing thousands more, but when Jaime had justified her methods in the name of peace and prosperity, she had shook her head at him. Lady Olenna had seemed to pity him and the way Cersei had a hold on him, manipulating his every move, but - it wasn’t like that. She didn’t understand; no one did. No matter what happened, they were part of the same soul.

He’d been pulled from his musings by a tap on his hand and her non apologetic smile. She had unstoppered the vial and was swishing the poison around like a fine wine. “I’m sorry for your son. What a terrible way to go and for you to watch him fall and writhe in pain without being able to help him. I had never seen the poison work; I didn’t think it would be such an awful affair. Tell Cersei, I want her to know it was me,” she had said but as she brought the vial to her lips the sound of the dragonfire destroying his army reached them. 

Jaime had run to the window and had to make a choice, to see Olenna through or run and return to Cersei. He’d looked at her and thought that perhaps avenging Joffrey was the best way to go.

“Go. You will get your chance with me on another occasion, but you still have something to live for.”

He had hesitated but decided to make his exit. Cersei needed him still.

--

After a long journey back, Jaime wasted no time going in search of Cersei. He found her pensively inspecting an artist repainting the floor in her favourite gallery; it was a detailed map of Westeros.

He frowned. “What are you doing?”

“Just observing what father left for us,” she said, her smile cold and cruel. It was not an unfamiliar expression to him, but he’d always seen it directed at other people, not himself. Her eyes were sad but strangely far away, unfocused. 

“Father is gone. He left us nothing. We have nothing but ourselves,” he said, taking a step towards her, trying to press a kiss to her lips but she shied away from his touch and stepped away.

He tried to look into her eyes but she kept avoiding him, looking at the map and wrapping her arms around herself, the armour pieces on her black gown making a metallic sound as she shifted. “Cersei… we need to talk about Tommen.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I tried to protect him but he left us. He chose her instead of us.”

“He chose to try to save his wife,” Jaime corrected her. “I would have done the same for you; you know that.”

She snorted humourlessly. “He betrayed us.”

“He was our boy, our last living child. Now we have nothing but each other.”

Cersei ignored him, turning away from him, taking a better look at the map. “We need to take control of the north. You are the Lord Commander of our army, what do you see?” Cersei insisted. “We have enemies in the west with Olenna Tyrell, enemies in the south with Ellaria Sand, enemies to the north and the dragon bitch to the east. Which should be our first move? Where should we attack?”

“We don’t have enough men for that. The Freys were killed; they were idiots but they were our last true supporters.” Jaime shook his head. “It’s over, Cersei.”

“It’s not over until we are dead. Once we win the North back, I’ll make a deal with the Iron Bank and pay for their army. When they see the Golden Company on our side, the houses will flock behind us.”

“They will not,” Jaime insisted. “Nobody likes to be on the losing side and right now we are the losing side.”

“What do you suggest then? That we do nothing?”

“I suggest that we leave - together. We can start again somewhere new.”

She looked at him with disgust. “We can surrender and die or we can fight and die, and I have made my choice.”

Jaime crossed his arms. “Who will fight for you?”

“Euron Greyjoy,” Cersei said, a small smile appearing on her lips. “You have been gone for a long time, so I had to make other arrangements. He brought me the entire Ironborn armada minus the few ships lost at Lannisport”

That hurt. “We have no gold!” He reminded her. “What are you going to pay him with?”

“I’ll give him a queen,” she said and left him standing there.

He pressed his hand to his forehead, trying to keep the impending headache at bay. He’d lost his three children, now he was losing the only woman he had ever loved. 

--

When he saw no less than one hundred ships with the Greyjoy sigil right outside King’s Landing, Jaime couldn’t believe it. They knew Yara Greyjoy, the last living descendant of Baylon Greyjoy, had given her support to Daenerys Targaryen, as well as her ships and brought her to Dragonstone, just across the Narrow Sea. By killing his brother, Euron had forced his niece to flee and find someone to fight alongside when their family had been meek and quiet ever since Ned Stark defeated them during Robert’s rebellion.

Cersei saw him as an asset, but in Jaime’s opinion, he was just another problem to solve. The leather clad pirate walked without grace or elegance and addressed Cersei as an equal. Jaime smiled when his sister rejected Euron’s proposal but his happiness lasted mere seconds. Greyjoy had come to marry Cersei and become The King and he was not going to give up so easily.

Later that night, Cersei slipped into Jaime’s bedroom and begged him to make love to her, to give her another son, but - he couldn’t. He knew she was not well. In fact, she cried herself to sleep, twisting and turning, waking up with a start nightmare after nightmare.

Not wanting to see her suffer he woke her up, pulling her close and asked about it, just like when they were kids. “What happened?”

“It was… a witch. She cursed me. She killed our children,” Cersei cried, her face twisted in anger and pain.

He pressed a kiss to her temple. “It was just a dream, love.”

“No; it was a memory,” she said. “When we were ten, I went into her tent for a future reading. I demanded that she tell me all about my future with Rhaegar, but she said I wouldn’t marry the Prince, but the King. She said we wouldn’t have any children together-” she wiped a tear as soon as it fell. “She said The King would have twenty children, but I would have three. ‘Gold will be their crowns, gold their shrouds,’ is what she said. She cursed me!”

“I  - it’s just a coincidence. How could she have known that?”

“She cursed me to watch all my children die, to be unhappy. She said I would die at the hands of the Valonqar. I spent years trying to wrap my head around that, but Qyburn told me… it means little brother. She said Tyrion will be the one to kill me and you helped him escape. You have always loved him more than you love me. He will kill me like he killed our son.”

“Olenna admitted to being the one who killed Joffrey.”

“And you let her live. When were you planning to tell me?” She demanded. “You failed our family, Jaime. You failed me.”

“Did I? Who killed Myrcella? Who caused Tommen’s death?” Jaime finally said. He regretted it the moment he mentioned it, especially when he saw Cersei’s pained expression, but it was the truth. Cersei had been the one to poison Myrcella, she had been the one to blow the Sept and kill Tommen.

“It was not my fault, it was the witch. I told you.”

Reality was slipping away from her. The deaths of two of their children were not the result of anyone other than her; how could she blame a witch? If she had been more careful…

He let her go and slipped under the covers, turning around. “You should try to sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

She hugged him from behind. “Jaime, please. I need another son. I need to know that she wasn’t right,” Cersei mumbled.

Jaime shut his eyes and pretended to be asleep. He had done so many awful things for love, for his family, especially for Cersei, but he couldn’t do it; he couldn’t let her do it again. There would be no more innocent children dying at her hands.

DAN

Dan groaned as he followed Phil into one of the many caves in Dragonstone. He ran the back of his hand over his brows before lighting a torch up and lifting it to have a better view of what was ahead. “What are we doing here?”

“Exploring! How many opportunities would we have to go into the depths of a dormant volcano?” Phil said excitedly.

“None if I had any say in it,” Dan mumbled but followed Phil nonetheless.

“Where is your sense of adventure?”

“It died at some point during the war - one of the wars. Everything seems like one ongoing war at this point.”

“It will all be over soon, love. Besides, if we can find what I’m looking for it could end even sooner,” Phil said.

“What are we looking for?”

“Many generations ago, when Targaryen descendants and dragons were plenty, people would come into the caves and try to find a dragon egg to see if they could bond to the dragon.”

“I thought only Targaryens could control dragons…” Dan said.

Phil nodded and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “And many people had Targaryen blood from generations ago, so people used to come here and try their luck.”

Something caught Dan’s attention out of the corner of his eye, he stepped back and waver the torch back and forward, watching the light bounce on the rock. There was something odd about it. He ran his fingers on it and hissed when it pierced his skin even through the glove. 

“What is it?” Phil asked.

“I don’t know. It just cut me.”

“I think that’s dragonglass.”

Dan put the torch closer to the wall and frowned. “There’s something behind it.” He moved the torch a bit to the side and saw a purple sheen inside the dragonglass.

Phil came up behind him and rested his chin on Dan’s shoulder, humming. “We should get some tools and get it out.”

“You can go down the mountain and bring the tools up, I’ll just wait right here,” Dan said, smirking.

Pouting, Phil pressed a kiss to his lips. “Alright.”

Dan placed a big rock on the ground to mark the spot and explored the cave a bit further, but he didn’t dare go beyond where the path split. If he got lost in there, people would have to come looking, which would be embarrassing even if Phil remembered which cave they were in. He returned to the marking and sat on the ground, waiting for Phil to return.

It was past midnight by the time they finally made their way back to the castle with their new acquisition. 

“We should give it to Daenerys,” Dan said.

“Should we go now or wait until the morning?”

“I don’t think I will be able to sleep anyway,” Dan admitted. “We should see if she is still awake.”

Walking up to the Queen’s quarters, someone stopped them.

“Stop. Where are you going?” 

Dan turned around and let out a sigh of relief when he saw Grey Worm. “Oh, hello. We wanted to speak to the Queen if she is still awake.”

“It is too late - and she doesn’t meet people in her chambers.”

“Yes, uh- we have something for her,” Phil said, uncovering the egg he’d wrapped in his cloak.

“An egg?”

Dan nodded. “A dragon egg. We were exploring one of the caves and saw it inside the dragonglass.”

“Wait here,” the Unsullied said.

A few minutes later, the door at the end of the corridor opened and a tired looking Daenerys stood there, smiling at them. “Come, please,” she said, stepping aside.

There was a set of chairs close to the fire already waiting for them. She sat down and motioned them to do the same.

“Grey Worm says you found it in the caves,” Daenerys said looking at the egg.

“Yes, Your Grace, Dan saw it shining through the dragonglass,” Phil commented and passed the egg to her. “Be careful, please. It still has some glass.”

“It looks…”

“Yes?” asked Dan.

“It looks different from the eggs I received. This one has not turned to stone yet.”

“Do you think you could hatch it?”

“Perhaps,” she said, setting it directly in the fire. She turned around and looked into Phil’s eyes. “I actually wanted to speak with you, in private.”

Dan frowned, not liking the idea but standing nonetheless. Phil reached for his hand and pulled him down.

“I have no secrets with Dan, Your Grace.”

She nodded and smiled at them. “Did you… Have you ever been to Essos?”

“I have. I grew up in Essos. My family sent me there for my protection.”

“Why?”

“I - I asked many times but my grandmother said one day I would know.”

“Do you know what that stone reminds me of?” She asked, pointing at Phil’s ring.

“No,” Phil replied.

“It reminds me of the Targaryen crown jewels. May I see it?”

“I was told to never remove it,” Phil said, bringing his hand to his chest.

“By whom?” She asked.

“A Red Priestess. She said it would protect me from the people chasing after me. It has kept me safe since and allowed me to return home.”

“Please, I will return it. I just want to see…” Daenerys said. 

Dan held his breath when Phil removed the ring. Something odd happened, a gust of wind crossed through the room and for a moment, Phil’s eyes shone a brighter blue before settling into a beautiful vibrant lilac colour. “Phil, your eyes!” Dan said.

“What?” 

“They look just like mine.” A smile appeared on Daenerys' lips. “You must be a Targaryen. This is what your grandmother meant when she said I’d be happy to see you - you were there with me, at the house with the red door.”

“Danny?” Phil gasped.

She nodded. “Hello, old friend,” she said and laughed when Phil jumped from his seat and pulled her into a hug. 

“I thought I had imagined you,” Phil mumbled.

“I knew there was a reason you were there with us. I thought about you often through the years. Playing with you in that house was the happiest I had ever been.” She stepped back. “It is good to see you again, safe and happy.”

Dan looked between them in shock. Could it be possible that Phil had spent most of his childhood in Essos, constantly on the run, not knowing who he really was and - he was a Targaryen? Dan didn’t even know where Phil would fit in the odd Targaryen family tree, but it seemed that he was one of the last surviving members of the long line of magical people. He was pulled from his musings when Phil placed his hand on his arm. 

“Dan, this is my friend Danny. She is a part of the few good memories I have from Essos until Kinvara helped me.”

“Kinvara?” Daenerys asked.

“Yes,” Phil said, cocking his head. “Have you met her?”

“She helped me bring peace to Mereen.”

“And now you will help us bring peace to Westeros,” Phil said, wrapping one arm around Dan and pulling him closer.

“I will, after you learn to ride Viserion,” she smirked.

The thought of Phil riding a dragon did make Dan fluster, all his blood already rushing south.

“Will you really allow me to ride him?” Phil asked.

“Yes; together we will be unstoppable on the battlefield.” Daenerys patted his shoulder. “Go on. Have a good night's sleep. We start your training tomorrow.”

-- 

Despite Daenerys’ advice, it was hard for them to stay away from each other. The raging storm outside the castle walls, the crashing waves against the mountain and the soft crackling of the fire only served to set the mood further.

Dan pulled Phil’s ring off and stared into his purple eyes, biting his own lip as he thought what he wanted to do to him. He had never thought he could be even more attracted to Phil, but he had been wrong. Phil’s beautiful features suited the purple even better than the bright blue eyes and the fact that it gave him a sort of magical quality was only an added bonus. “May I?” He asked, already fumbling with the ties on Phil’s breeches.

“Please,” Phil said, already pulling at every piece of clothing above his waist and pressing a fervent kiss to Dan’s lips. Unhappy with the time things were taking, Phil pressed Dan against the wall, rubbing his unclothed cock on Dan’s leg while he pulled at his clothes urgently. 

Dan could only laugh, and gently push him to give himself a bit of room to undress. 

It only took a moment, but Phil had walked to their bed and climbed onto it. Hewas already making a mess of himself, pinching at his nipples, thumbing at the tip of his cock and moaning loudly. 

Unable to resist for another second, Dan rushed to the bed and straddled him, pushing Phil's hands up and giving him a meaningful look. “Keep them there,” he ordered.

Phil nodded, looking at him from under his lashes. In only a few minutes, Dan was able to work Phil open without any pain and press into him firmly, feeling him shake under him.

“Should I stop?” Dan teased.

“Don’t you dare,�� Phil said through gritted teeth. “Please,” he pouted when Dan raised one eyebrow at him.

Shifting his weight forward, Dan kissed Phil, lacing their fingers together while he rolled his hips into him slowly. A crack of thunder reverberated through the castle, making them shiver. 

“Yes!” Phil wrapped his legs around Dan’s hips, trying to pull him closer. “More,” he begged and Dan didn’t have the heart to deny him. He thrust into Phil harder, letting their slick bodies slide together effortlessly, trapping Phil’s weeping cock between them and giving him just the right amount of stimulation, making him hiss and writhe under him. 

“Phil,” Dan groaned as he pumped his seed into him. “Mine,” he mumbled, barely pausing before pulling out of him and leaning down to take Phil’s cock into his mouth. Dan moaned when he felt the other’s hands burying in his curls and pulling, rewarding him by running his tongue around the tip and sucking softly, before sinking down again and again until Phil filled his mouth, coming down Dan's throat with a silent scream. 

Dan sighed tiredly, letting himself be pulled into Phil’s arms and kissed, but only falling asleep after they had done it all over again.

SANSA

Sansa felt a newfound sense of relief at having Bran and Arya back home, even if none of them were the same as when they left Winterfell, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind. Her little sister had a strange and dark presence that sometimes unsettled Sansa. Watching her train with Brienne was odd, like watching a complete stranger. Everything about Arya felt calculated and hesitant, as if she was no longer connected to her emotions. 

She finally decided to look through her room and see what little Arya had been up to in Braavos. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary in her old room, except for the fact that there was barely any sign that she was staying there other than the remnants of the previous night’s fire. Sansa cocked her head when she lifted the mattress to find a leather satchel with a lot of… scraps, they were almost like -

Pulling the thing out of the satchel, Sansa screamed, letting it fall to the ground as she jumped away from the face now lying on the floor. 

“What are you doing here?” Arya said and Sansa let out another scream, bringing a hand to her chest.

“You scared me. W-what is that?”

“That is none of your concern.”

“It is. As Lady of Winterfell I should know what’s happening under my own roof.”

“You’re loving that, aren’t you?” Arya smirked.

“What?”

“With Dan and Jon away there’s no one stopping you from taking the North. You’ve always wanted to be above everyone else and now you have conveniently got your wish.”

Sansa scoffed, throwing the satchel on the bed. “What are you accusing me of exactly? I didn’t kill our family, I didn’t send our brothers away.”

“No, but you do have all the northern houses up your sleeve. It would be very easy for you to just - take Jon’s place.” Arya crossed her arms.

“You think very lowly of me,” Sansa said, realising that Arya’s mistrust hurt her more than she had thought. “I just wanted to see why you were acting so differently - and I wanted to return your dagger to you.”

She placed it on the bed and walked to the door, but before she could leave, Arya caught her wrist. “I’m sorry. I - I’m just not the same person you knew.” 

Ever since her return, Arya had seemed more like her old self at times, but on occasion, her face would go vacant, cold and expressionless. Almost detached from everything that made her human. This time Sansa saw real emotion in her eyes; she was being honest.

“I thought the dagger had been stolen,” Arya said, letting go of her and walking to the bed. She picked it up and examined it carefully.

“I took it because I was mad at you and then it became the only thing I had left of you. It has kept me safe for a long time.”

“You should keep it then,” Arya said, offering the dagger to her.

Sansa shook her head. “It’s yours and Bran said you should have it.”

“We have all changed quite a bit, haven’t we?”

“Will you tell me?” Sansa tried once again. “I want to understand.”

Arya let out a deep sigh and “I trained in Braavos. I learned many fighting techniques better suited to my size and I also became a Faceless Man.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I can wear other people’s faces and become them for a little while. I had to leave a lot of what made me Arya Stark to achieve that. I think that’s what unsettles you about me.”

“Can you really do that?” Sansa said, raising her eyebrows.

Arya nodded. “I fed Walder Frey a pie made of his sons, then I killed him and wore his face to poison the rest of his house,” she said without even a flinch.

Sansa’s jaw dropped, she would have never guessed her sister was capable of something like that, but she tried not to judge her. They had all gone through a lot of pain and it had changed them. She nodded carefully. “Can I see his face?”

Smiling, Arya pulled old Walder from the bag, causing Sansa to make a disgusted yet curious face. “Do you think I’m a monster?”

She paused, considering it briefly but shook her head. “He killed our family. I just wish I could have been there to see it,” Sansa admitted. “I understand wanting revenge, I got Littlefinger executed after he rescued me from King’s Landing. He wanted to marry me off to Ramsay Bolton after he betrayed our family. He betrayed everyone who had ever made deals with him.”

Arya looked at her and smirked, throwing Walder Frey’s face on the bed. “That’s what you get for being the pretty one. Nobody would want to marry me.”

“Mother promised you to one of the Freys,” Sansa said.

“I can’t say she wasn’t ambitious with that one,” Arya said, her smile vanishing from her face in an instant. “I still have people on my list. I will have to leave you again at some point and finish that.”

“Maybe when you are done with revenge you can stay home and be with me.”

“Let me guess, you’ll teach me how to sew?”

“If you teach me how to water dance, maybe.” Sansa smiled at her.

DAENERYS

Daenerys read the message over. Brandon Stark had returned to Winterfell and had quite a bit to say. His first suggestion was not bad at all and it would hardly have any consequences as long as they were quick about it, the second one she was not so sure about. She knocked on Dan’s door until he opened, with barely any clothes on and a wild head of hair.

“Your Grace!” he said, quickly retreating behind the door and pulling a shirt on. Phil smirked at her from their bed without a lick of shame. 

“Get dressed,” she said. “We’re going flying.”

That wiped Phil’s smirk off his face, much to her pleasure. 

“Do you really think I can?”

“Yes, I have confirmed it early this morning. You would know more about it if you’d have joined us for breakfast.”

Phil scrambled to get dressed, seemingly hesitating before adding another layer on for good measure. 

“We have a visitor from Essos, she was eager to see you again,” Danny said.

Dan’s eyes narrowed but Phil smiled widely. “Kinvara?”

“Yes. It is the second Red Priestess we’ve had over, although I like this one much better.”

“Where is she? What did she say? Can I see her?”

“You were always so eager, Phil,” Danny said. “You can see her at dinner. We have much to do now.”

“But - what did she say about me?”

“She confirmed that you are a true Targaryen, not a bastard. We are cousins.”

Phil frowned. “Does that - do you hate me for it?”

Danny knew why he was asking. Phil wanted to know if she felt threatened by the fact that he was in line for The Iron Throne she wanted for herself, but she smiled and shook her head. “My brother Rhaegar kept a journal with many theories and he truly believed in the prophecies regarding the future of our House. He believed in them so much that he left his wife in search of another, believing that he needed more children, at least 3 to be exact. The dragon must have three heads, he wrote all over his journal. I have three dragons, born from eggs that had turned into stone, our sigil is a three headed dragon as well. I believe that we were meant to meet again. You are meant to help me reach my full potential. Three dragons, three riders.”

“Who is the third rider?” asked Dan, looking confused.. 

“That, I don’t know yet, but I believe Renly Baratheon has some Targaryen blood. It could be him. To be perfectly honest, that is what swayed my opinion regarding him. Targaryen blood is hard to come by these days,” she admitted and turned to Phil. “You seem conflicted, are you alright?”

“I don’t understand where I fit in as a Targaryen,” Phil said, his brows still burrowed into a frown, as if he couldn’t quite grasp the situation. “Why did nobody tell me?”

“You come from a very sad branch of my family, I’m afraid. Tragedy has kept you from your story, from knowing that you are one of us, descending from the line of Duncan Targaryen and Jenny of Oldstones. As sad as her story is, it seems that she did have a son named Jaehaerys and that son had you with Lysa Tyrell.”

“All of them are dead,” Phil lamented, shaking his head. Dan placed a warm hand on his shoulder.

“All of my line is also dead, Phil. Our family has been struck by tragedy for generations, yet here we are. It is our duty to continue on as best we can and make a future-” she stopped short. She couldn’t be a part of that future, not in the way she wanted. “You will have to do that for us, I’m afraid.”

“I -” Phil looked at Dan. “You could have children, I’m not-”

“I won’t fault you if you don’t, but I can’t have any more children. Not after a witch cursed, killing my baby, Rhaego, and Drogo…” she felt her eyes well with tears and closed them, clearing her throat. 

Phil’s arms wrapped around her hesitantly. “It’s alright, Danny. I’m here with you, you are not alone. You will never be alone again.”

Danerys returned the hug briefly and stepped back with the best smile she could muster at the moment. She extended her hand towards her old friend, her cousin, and said: “It is time for you to learn how to fly.”

Phil smiled and grasped her hand. “I would love that.” 

--

Watching Phil between Viserion and Rhaegal everything made so much sense. They smelled him and exchanged looks. It was Viserion who lowered his neck. It was a test, but Phil did not back away from him, he rose to the challenge, climbing onto Viserion confidently even without her mentioning it. Any sort of hesitation on his part would have landed him on his ass.

Daenerys climbed onto Drogon’s back and looked at Phil expectantly.

“Well… how do we get them to fly?”

“You speak to them in their language. Valahd!”

Both dragons rose to the sky as Phil held for dear life, slowly losing the fear to sit upright. He leaned forward and Viserion took a dive, almost grazing the grass beside Dan. After flying up again, he tried to catch up to Daenerys. 

“I love this!” He yelled.

“I knew you would!”

“When can we fly again?”

“We are not done for the day. We are going to take a long trip - a reconnaissance mission of sorts,” she said and looked down. Jon Snow was walking up to Dan already, looking at her with that perpetually furrowed brow. Hopefully she would be able to stop him from brooding, even if it was for one day. “Let’s get our companions and go.”

“What? Are we flying them?” Phil said, his eyes wide.

“Yes,” Danny said, assuming Phil was worried about Dan and Jon falling to their deaths, but that was unlikely. “They will be safe with us. Don’t worry.”

“What if they are not?” He asked.

“We’ll fly only above the sea if that makes you feel better.”

“Yes, that - that makes me feel better.”

As soon as they had landed and invited the Starks onto the dragons, they made their way North. It was not without protest or hesitation on their part, but she pleaded with them until they agreed. It was a good opportunity for Daenerys to see parts of Westeros she had not visited yet, with Jon Snow pointing to different castles, near the coast. Winterfell she could not see up close, it looked barely bigger than a grain of rice from The Shivering Sea. When they finally got to the Bay of Seals and set their eyes on Eastwatch by The Sea, Daenerys’s heart beat faster than it had ever in her life. She was filled with dread, yet her eyes kept scouting the area even as they flew beyond The Wall. 

“I don’t understand. Last I saw they were at Hardhome,” Jon said.

“Is it much farther?” She asked.

“No. They should be at The Wall already!” he yelled, trying to make himself heard over the freezing wind.

And so they flew farther north, even past Hardhome, the entire area completely desolated. Eventually, they found what they had been searching for: the White Walkers and their army of the dead. One of them stood out from the rest, its head had a row of ice spikes all around, almost like a crown. 

“That’s the Night King!” She said.

“The Night King?” Jon said. “As in - the Night’s King?” Could it be the one from the stories Old Nan used to tell him.

“Your brother Bran called him the Night King. He asked me to come see for myself if I still had doubts about helping you.” 

The creature, along with its generals and the thousands upon thousands of wights, marched in the direction of the dragons, a snow storm following them. 

“We should leave,” she said, as she saw the Night King launching ice spears their way. “Phil, come on!” She yelled and turned away from a battle they would not win alone; not even with her dragons.

Bran Stark was right, if they were going to fight the dead, they would have to call a truce with Cersei Lannister, as impossible as that sounded. They could not fight on two fronts at the same time.

DAN

Dragonstone, Westeros.

After that first flight, Phil took to frequent training sessions, sometimes with Daenerys, sometimes alone. Dan had never seen him so happy and melancholic at the same time. His love had found the rest of his story only to learn that his family was dead. It had never occurred to Dan that Phil thought them to be out there, somewhere in Westeros, not knowing of his existence, even if he knew his mother had passed. It came as a shock, breaking the enchantment they had fallen under until that moment.

It felt like they had been at Dragonstone for years at that point, living in a bubble away from the horrors looming beyond The Wall, but after months of waiting, there was finally a new sense of reality. 

Once again, they all stood in the Throne Room, but the mood was less tense this time. Loras, Renly and Brienne were joining them for the parlay Tyrion arranged in King’s Landing, but first, an introduction was in order. There were still guards and Ser Jorah stood right at the Queen’s side protectively, but most of those present knew each other already.

Dan stood straight, his hands behind his back as he introduced his friends. "Lord Renly Baratheon, Ser Loras Tyrell, and Lady Brienne of Tarth, Your Grace."

Daenerys nodded at them. 

Renly smiled and bent the knee without hesitation. “Your Grace, it is my honour to meet you. I kneel before you as a gesture of good faith and loyalty, hoping that we can have a calm conversation once Cersei and the White Walkers have been dealt with.”

“Welcome to Dragonstone, Lord Renly. While I appreciate you bending the knee, I would like to know what makes you think I have sailed halfway across the world to relinquish what’s mine by right,” Daenerys said.

“Well - I would like to believe that you are not as inclined to torture and violence as your father was, that we can discuss politics at a later date and reach a resolution that will help the people of Westeros instead of just serving our own interests.”

“That depends, what are your own interests?” She pressed.

“I want to live,” Renly said. “I want my husband to live,” he added, standing and reaching for Loras’ hand. “I want my niece, Shireen Baratheon, to live a long and happy life. We’ve run and remained in hiding for years, waiting for the right time to come forward. I let the world believe I was dead to keep us safe; I trust that coming here was the right decision.”

Daenerys nodded. “I will not harm you or your family, Lord Renly, but I cannot promise you that I will change my mind even after we have dealt with our common enemies.”

Loras tried to take a step forward but Renly pulled him gently back. 

"I am sure we could discuss things. The Tyrells have always stood beside the Targaryens and we wish to continue to honour that tradition," Loras said. 

Dan raised one eyebrow. It was bold to threaten Daenerys in such a way in her own castle. Ser Jorah rested his hand on the pomme of his sword and gave Loras an unimpressed look.

Renly pressed his lips together and nodded. “I understand. If you don't change your mind by then, I would merely ask for The Stormlands’ independence.”

She scoffed but Tyrion Lannister nodded at him. “We appreciate your trust and you joining us in the parlay. Your Grace will consider your proposal carefully until the time to make a decision comes.”

Daenerys seemed unhappy about that interjection but Varys supported it. "It would be wise to keep all the important players on the same side, Your Grace. The Lannister army is suffering at the moment but Queen Cersei can be unpredictable. Nobody could have imagined she would blow the Sept of Baelor with most of her allies in it."

Dan tried not to look at Loras at the mention of the Sept, but he couldn't help it.

"Your Grace, if I may ask, why would she agree to see us?" Asked Jon.

"It's very simple, she's curious,” Tyrion said. “She wants to know how much she should worry about us working together."

Dan nodded. "What front should we present then?"

"Well? You know her best," Daenerys said looking at Tyrion.

"A united one, of course. The moment we showed weakness would be our downfall."

Jon stepped forward. "Do you think she will agree to join the fight against The Others?"

"There is only one way to find out."

--

King's Landing, Westeros.

They were greeted by Tyrion’s old friend, Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, and welcomed into King’s Landing. The conversation they were reluctantly having let Dan know that it had been Bronn who had arranged the meeting. Dan hadn’t given it much thought but it made sense that Daenerys and Cersei hadn’t had any private communications, even through their advisors. There was hardly anyone favourable to Daenerys in the Capital - or Tyrion for that matter.

He looked around as they entered the Dragonpit. It was a strangely beautiful day, not a single cloud in the sky, yet the wait was making Dan nervous. Even more so because their party was not entirely in the pit. The Northerners sat under their own section, closer to the Targaryen and opposite to Cersei’s place. Renly and Loras declined the offer to sit on their own which was a relief. Dan was hesitant to let Phil stray away from him when they were surrounded by enemies. He survived every entrance, but still, Daenerys was nowhere to be seen.

Cersei walked in next, dressed in black, as was every single soldier and White Cloak. Even Jaime Lannister and The Mountain wore a black armour instead of the classic attire. There was no Lannister red or gold anywhere. She was followed by a very unkempt man dressed in black leather who Dan assumed was Euron Greyjoy. “Where is she?” Cersei demanded.

“She’ll be here soon,” Tyrion said, buttoning his coat and clearing his throat nervously, Jorah standing at his side.

“Renly,” she smiled. “I never thought I’d see a ghost.”

“Cersei,” he nodded. “Haven’t seen you since you murdered my brother. How is Joffrey?”

“Scattered around the capital with Margaery’s remains,” she said with a wide smile.

Loras flinched, his lips disappearing into a line. Phil inhaled sharply at his side but remained silent otherwise.

Holding his breath, Dan bit his lip and looked around nervously, trying to guess where Daenerys would be entering from but when he heard the growl of a dragon, he knew exactly what she was doing. He smiled and looked up to see Drogon aiming for the pit. Then, his eyes settled on Cersei, whose face twitched but she did not cower or run, only allowing herself to raise one eyebrow in an attempt to look unimpressed with her guests.

The earth beneath their feet shook when Drogon landed. He let out a loud screech and stretched its huge wings to its full potential, but settled down once Daenerys had climbed off his back. 

Daenerys walked slowly but confidently, giving them a satisfied smile as she took her place. She looked very powerful despite not being a tall woman. Her white blonde hair braided in an intricate hairdo, one per each battle won in Essos, her posture perfect and her vibrant purple eyes gentle and caring, contrasting with the military attire, a mixture of the Dothraki and Targaryen style consisting in long coats and dresses over breeches and boots. 

Everyone was silent and it was starting to drive Dan mad. It was a bit ridiculous, to be honest, all of them sitting in a circle quite far away from each other, trying to look menacing without uttering a word. Dan saw Renly grasping at Loras’ hand tightly, Phil stiff at his side. The explosion of the Sept and Margaery’s death still too fresh in their hearts. If the meeting didn’t begin soon, something was bound to happen. He elbowed Jon, giving him a look, but Daenerys was already looking at Tyrion.

The youngest Lannister brother stood before his siblings but before he could utter a word, Euron Greyjoy interrupted. “Where is my niece? I have a bone to pick with her for all the ships she took from me.”

Cersei looked annoyed at him already.

Daenerys scoffed. “That is none of your business. Yara is exactly where I need her to be.”

Tyrion stepped forward. “I believe we should begin with larger concerns.”

Euron Greyjoy stood from his seat and took a step toward Tyrion. “You’re the smallest concern here.”

“You should sit down,” said Jaime Lannister.

“Why would I sit down?” Greyjoy smirked.

“Sit down or leave,” Cersei said.

“We have lost people we love at each other's hands, if all we wanted was more of the same there would be no need for this gathering. We are entirely capable of waging war against each other without meeting face to face,” said Tyrion while Greyjoy slowly returned to his seat, his mocking expression unchanged.

Cersei raised an eyebrow at him. “So instead, we should settle our differences and live together in harmony for the rest of our days?” 

“We all know that will never happen,” Tyrion replied.

“This isn't about living in harmony, it's just about living,” Jon said walking to the centre of the Dragonpit with his usual determination. “The same thing is coming for all of us: a general you can't negotiate with, an army that doesn't leave corpses behind on the battlefield. Lord Tyrion tells me a million people live in this city; they're about to become a million more soldiers in the army of the dead.”

Cersei smiled at him in disbelief. “I imagine that for most of them it would be an improvement.”

“This is serious. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.”

“I believe this is just another bad joke. If my brother Jaime has informed me correctly, you’re asking me for a truce,” Cersei said.

“Yes, that’s all,” answered Daenerys.

“That’s all?” Cersei mocked her accent. “Pull back my armies and stand down while you go on your monster hunt or while you solidify and expand your position? It would be hard for me to know which it is with my armies pulled back until you return and march on my capital with four times the men.” 

Daenerys gave her a diplomatic yet cold smile. “Your capital will be safe until the northern threat is dealt with; you have my word.”

“The word of a would be usurper.” Cersei shook her head but seemed to consider it. “Even if it was true, how do you propose to deal with the dead?”

“It’s true; I have fought them myself,”Jon said. “We can destroy them by burning them and we can destroy them with dragonglass. If we don't win this fight we will all join their army. That is the fate of every person in the world. There is only one war that matters, the Great War, and it is here.” 

“I didn’t believe it myself until I saw them all,” Daenerys said. 

“How many?” asked Jaime Lannister. 

“A hundred thousand at least.” 

“Can they swim?” Euron Greyjoy asked.

“No,” said Jon.

“I’m taking the Iron Fleet to the Iron Islands.”

Cersei frowned. “What are you saying?”

“I’ve been around the world and seen it all, but this… this I will wait out in the Isles,” hesaid and walked towards Daenerys, her guards promptly pointing their weapons at him. “I’m going back to my island and you should go back to yours. When all of this is over, we’ll be the only ones left alive.” With a simple nod from Greyjoy, the only one of his men walked away from Cersei's side and followed him as he crossed towards the open gates.

“He’s right to be afraid and a coward to run. If those things come for us, there'll be no Kingdoms to rule, everything we suffered would have been for nothing, everything we lost

would have been for nothing.” Cersei said, seemingly unconcerned about the Commander of her fleet. “The crown accepts your truce until the dead are defeated; they are the true enemy. In return the King in The North will extend this truce, he will remain in the north where he belongs, he will not take up arms against the Lannisters, he will not choose sides.” 

“Just The King in The North? Not me?” Daenerys asked.

“I would never ask it of you. You would never agree to it, and if you did I would trust you even less than I do now. I ask it only of Ned Stark’s son. I know Ned Stark's son will be true to his word.” 

“I'm true to my word. Or I try to be, that is why I cannot give you what you. I cannot serve two Queens and I've already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen.”

“Then there is nothing left to discuss,” Cersei said, standing from her seat. “The dead will come north first, enjoy dealing with them. We will deal with whatever is left of you.”

“Your Grace,” said Dan, rising and approaching the centre of the pit. “Daniel Stark, Lord of Winterfell. If I may…”

Cersei raised one eyebrow at him but sat down slowly.

Dan cleared his throat. “In the name of House Stark and with Daenerys Targaryen’s blessing, I heed your request in exchange for the truce. My brother is much like my father, an honourable man and a just King, but I know, as his brother, he will always hear my advice and listen to my plea. The Northerners will remain north while the army of the dead is dealt with.”

“Is that true? Will you follow his request?” Cersei asked Jon.

Jon looked at Daenerys who merely nodded. “Yes, Your Grace. We will uphold our vow as you requested.”

“And you, Renly. You’re just another rat waiting to take a piece of the cake. Will you stay away from King’s Landing - wherever it is that you are hiding,” Cersei asked.

“I will stay north with the Starks while we resolve this matter. I have no army to threaten you to begin with.”

She smiled and gave him a small nod. “My armies will not stand down, I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all, we'll face it together and when the Great War is over perhaps you'll remember I chose to help,” she turned to Jaime. “Call our banners; all of them.”

Dan let out a sigh of relief and Phil came to stand beside him, lacing their fingers together. “Well done, love,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” Dan said.

--

Back in Dragonstone, they celebrated with a small feast, toasting to a successful meeting, although Tyrion had his reservations on whether Cersei would be true to her word.

“We could always keep an eye on where her troops are,” said Dan. “That would be easy enough.”

“We owe the positive outcome of the meeting to you, Daniel. I am glad at least one of the Starks knows how to lie,” Daenerys said.

“He was not lying, Your Grace,” said Jon.

“Of course I was. Why would I promise Cersei anything?” Dan scoffed.

“You made me go back on my word and lie?” Jon asked, looking honestly aghast. 

His brother was a good leader but too honest for his own good, Dan thought before turning to Phil. “Phil, do you think I was wrong to lie?”

“No,” Phil said. “I know you value honour above all else, but I value family quite as much. And when the Tyrells agreed to aid Cersei, she blew the Sept with most of us inside, even if her last son was there, even if we were the ones feeding the subjects and funding the crown. What makes you think that she will truly help us?”

“If you don’t believe her, why even ask?” Jon frowned.

“Because now we can wait and see what she does. If she is willing to help, you can go and hide in Winterfell if it really bothers you. If she doesn’t, I will go knocking on her door, with fire and blood.” Daenerys took a sip of her wine and turned to Varys. “Send a raven to Winterfell. You said Brandon Stark was waiting for news.”

“You still correspond with my brother?” asked Jon.

Dan coughed, nearly choking on his wine. Why would Bran be waiting for news from Daenerys herself?

Lord Varys nodded. “Yes; it seems his time beyond The Wall was quite fruitful. He was right about many things and if we believe what he said, a change of plans is in order.”

“Let Yara know her uncle may be returning to the Iron Islands.”

Varys nodded one more time and left.

“What change of plans?” Jon asked, but Daenerys simply smiled at him. 

Dan turned to Phil who seemed physically and emotionally exhausted and led him to their chambers. 

JON

Jon paced in his room for so long Ghost was starting to whine. “I’m sorry, boy. I will be back, I need to go for a walk.”

Ghost tried to follow him, but Jon shook his head, throwing another piece of wood to the fire. “Stay,” he said.

He walked all through the castle for what felt like hours, unable to shake the feeling that he was not understanding the full picture. He didn’t understand Daenerys’ motivation, her change of heart in regards to him bending the knee, why she was corresponding with Bran so much, and why she wanted to change her plans without even letting him know. They were supposed to be allies but he felt completely in the dark when it came to her. 

The Targaryen Queen was a mystery to him; a magical mystery he couldn’t keep his eyes or mind off of. Perhaps he could speak to her in private and try to find out their new plan. He turned around the corner and froze as he saw a hooded figure slowly pry the door to her chambers open, her guards unconscious on the ground. 

Jon rushed towards the man, who merely turned on the spot and attacked him with a dagger. He felt the blade going into his chest, a familiar sensation now, blood gushing out of him, making spots dance before his eyes, but before he let himself fall, Jon crushed the man to the wall, wrapping his hands around his neck, watching the light leave his eyes. 

“Jon!” Daenerys screamed as she held him in her arms. “Jon!” 

Running his blood stained fingers on her beautiful face, he tried to apologise but found that he couldn’t speak. 

“Thank you,” Daenerys cried, tears falling from her eyes. 

The last thing Jon saw before his eyes closed was a beautiful dark haired woman dressed fully in red. “You will live, Jon Snow. Now you must rest.”

--

Jon jolted awake but before he could sit up, Daenerys pressed her hand to his shoulder, pushing him back down. “You shouldn’t get up yet.”

“The man - where is he?”

“You killed him. You protected me, even when I was hesitant to trust you.”

“I did what I thought was right.” His voice was so hoarse. He looked down and saw the bandages along with his now familiar stab wounds marks from Castle Black.

She smiled widely at him. “You always do. You put everyone before yourself, don’t you?”

“I put my family before me, yes. I’ve lost enough already.”

“We’ve all lost more than we deserve,” she said and laid beside him. “The only thing we can do is make sure we live for them and try to be as happy as possible.” She rested her head on Jon’s shoulder and he felt her tears on his skin.

Jon caressed her cheek, trying to rub the pain away from her beautiful purple eyes. He then pressed a kiss to her lips and felt her bury her hand in his curls. “My Queen,” he whispered.

She straddled him and looked into his eyes. “Are you mine, Jon Snow?”

“I am yours,” he said and he meant it; for as long as he lived, he would love her.

That night, he loved her, giving himself to her in body and soul, promising to protect her, to be at her side in every step of the way. In turn, she allowed herself to be vulnerable and cry, to laugh and love and believe that she could do it all again, that she could be his.

--

The change in plans only took a few weeks to present itself. When Daenerys gave Jon Jaime Lannister’s message, he knew what it was all about. 

“Cersei has lost her mind. A mercenary army is coming from Braavos; she will strike the North while your backs are turned. I will sail for Dragonstone immediately, I come alone. Please, Tyrion, help me as I have helped you when you needed me. Your brother, Jaime.”

“Is it real?”

“Tyrion says it is. I sent Phil on a scouting mission and there is a small ship sailing this way.”

“I will be ready - just in case.”

Daenerys smiled at him. “Everyone will be ready; you can stay here with me.”

“I have to check how the dragonglass mining is going,” Jon lamented.

“Dan and Phil can do that. I want you at my side when I speak to the man who killed my father.”

Right. Jon nodded. “Of course.”

There was a knock. Jon walked up to the door and opened it swiftly, ready to strike any intruders but it was just Kinvara. “My Lady.”

“A well prepared man, I see,” she looked past him and right into Daenerys’ eyes. “Your Grace, I must sail for Essos.”

“Is it really necessary? What will we do if we’re under attack?”

“You should be safe, at least within the confines of this castle. The Long Night is coming and we all must be ready. There are still things I need to see and research I need to do.”

“My Lady. Will you be seeing Lady Melisandre?” Jon asked.

“If the Lord so chooses, that seems to be a possibility.”

“The night before the battle with the Boltons, I requested Lady Melisandre that if I should die in battle, she was not to bring me back. I ordered her to swear it, but she didn’t, and come morning, she was no longer in Castle Black.”

Kinvara stared at him, with her usual smile, not looking surprised at all. 

“I would like to apologise to her for my tone, but I also want to extend the request to you.” Jon still couldn't find the words for it, but he was sure of one thing. “Please, My Lady.  If I do - if I fall, don't bring me back.”

“The Lord of Light brought you back.” Kinvara's smile widened. “We take no offence at your commands, because we only do what he commands.”

“My La-”

“This war is ending and the real war is about to commence. I will be back then, Queen Daenerys. ”

Jon looked over his shoulder and saw Danny nod. “I will sail to Winterfell to get the support of the northmen. Any advice?” He asked.

Kinvara nodded. “You should deliver as much dragonglass as possible so that everything can be ready, and - you should fly. There’s no time to sail. The boy can only hold the ice for so long. It won’t be long until they find what they are looking for.”

RENLY

Having Loras back was such a relief, even amidst all the political conflicts, the intrigue and the impending doom, Renly couldn’t be happier. Even Shireen had mentioned how genuine his smile seemed now, and that he looked younger. 

Still, Renly knew they had so much to work on. Such a big lie was not something that was easily forgotten or forgiven, but that was not all. Loras was struggling with other issues as well as his grief for Margaery.

In one of their private training sessions, Loras attacked him mercilessly, swinging at him until Renly was flat on his back, his shirt ripped open and the air knocked out of him. He paused and looked up at his husband.

Loras looked down at Renly’s chest and then away, his face the perfect mixture of rage and despair. 

“Lo,” Renly coughed. “Look at me.”

“What?” He said, looking vaguely in Renly’s direction.

“Look at me, please,” Renly repeated.

Loras’ gaze finally focused on him again, his eyes welled up with tears. “I’m sorry,” he said and Renly knew that he was not talking about his fall.

“I know you are still mad at me, love,” Renly said. “I didn’t expect you to just forgive me for causing you so much heartache, especially now…” he trailed off, not wanting to mention Margaery outright. “But I do hope that you can forgive yourself. You can’t keep blaming yourself for believing the lie and carrying on.”

Loras let out a sob, his sword falling out of his hand before he fell to his knees on the hard stone floor and crawled to him. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I should have waited. I should have known.” He pulled Renly closer by the shirt, pressing their foreheads together.

Renly cupped his cheeks and gave him a small smile. “How long of a wait would have been enough? People deal with grief in different ways and you did what you felt was right.”

Shaking his head, making his curls bounce, Loras sniffled. “It never felt right. Nobody ever felt right but you,” he finally broke down, burying his head in Renly’s chest, his hand coming to trace the edges of the scar the necklace had left behind on that night.

Pressing a kiss to Loras’ head, Renly played with his curls. “Then be with me, stay with me and protect me. Teach me how to stop being a shit fighter,” he said, causing Loras to laugh through the tears. “Come on, we are not stopping until I can win against you.”

“We’ll be old by then,” Loras said with a watery smile before standing and pulling Renly up in one swift motion.

It took nearly the entire day, but Renly was eventually able to best a very outraged Loras, even if he had to hit his hand to make him drop his sword. It was alright anyway, they finished their argument in bed.

PHIL

Phil moaned, his entire body shaking as he thrust into Dan with abandon. He pressed a kiss to his love’s lips, biting him, mumbling about how much he loved him. 

“Phil,” Dan gasped. “Don’t ever leave me.”

“Never,” Phil said, stilling inside Dan and pressing their foreheads together. “You are mine and I am yours. Forever,” he panted, reaching for Dan’s cock and finishing him, Phil’s eyes set on his lover’s face, enjoying the mere pleasure of watching him fall apart. Once Dan laid boneless, watching him from under his lashes, Phil pulled out and let his mess join Dan’s.

They slept late into the day, until Lord Varys came knocking on their door, letting them know they needed to dress immediately to fly to Winterfell. Then he turned around and took a few steps, pausing briefly by the now wide open door. “If you want to say goodbye to your Red Priestess, she’s about to get on a boat.”

“Thank you,” Phil said, feeling much more alert than he had a minute ago.

“You’re so eager to see her,” Dan commented, barely trying to cover his jealousy.

“She saved my life, Dan,” Phil said. “My entire childhood I thought of her as a motherly figure since I had none of my own. Her and Danny were the only happy memories I had for a long time.”

Dan lowered his head in shame. “I’m sorry. I know you are right. I’m thankful she saved you and gave you your family back.”

Phil finished pulling his cloak on and wrapped his arms around Dan, kissing him softly. “You have nothing to be sorry about. Now, come with me. They will be upset with us if we keep them waiting.” He stepped back.

“Don’t you get a bit of leeway for being The Queen’s cousin?” Dan smirked.

“No. She has never been fond of waiting and remember not to mention that outside her advisors.”

He nodded. “Does Jon know?”

“I assume Daenerys told him.”

Dan wrapped his furs around his frame and cocked his head; Phil was enchanted by his northern clothes every day. “I never saw that coming.”

“Then you are blind, my love. They had their eyes set on each other from the moment they met, that’s why they argue so much.” Phil grabbed Dan’s hand and dragged him to the Throne Room where, as expected, everyone was waiting for them.

“How kind of you to join us,” Daenerys commented, rising from the throne and walking out, Loras, Renly, Jon and Tyrion following after her. 

Phil looked at Ser Davos and Brienne but they shook their heads.

Missandei waved at them with one hand as she petted Balerion with the other. 

“Will you be able to handle him?” Dan asked.

“Yes, of course,” she said. “Ghost and Greywind keep him calm when he gets restless.”

“I will be back soon,” Dan said looking into his wolf’s eyes. “Be good while I’m gone.”

“He will not pee in the Throne Room,” Missandei nodded.

“Balerion! Did you pee in th-” Dan's horrified face was worth more than all the jewels in the Reach. “No peeing inside - anywhere. Or you’ll sleep with Ser Pounce when we get back home.”

Balerion whined and lowered his head, making a sad face.

Dan and Phil finally met the others outside, waiting only for a moment while Phil hugged Kinvara and thanked her for everything, making her promise that they would meet again. This time, Dan didn’t look upset, he just waved her goodbye.

The trip north was incredibly different. It took longer because of the amount of dragonglass the dragons were carrying. It didn’t escape Phil that Daenerys watched Renly get on Rhaegal and seem disappointed with their interaction. Although he was not rejected, Rhaegal did not seem interested in Renly at all.

They arrived the following morning, incredibly tired and freezing cold. 

Lady Sansa received them and kindly guided them directly to the Godswood where an incredibly tall Bran Stark sat in a complicated chair. Every story Phil had heard about Bran spoke about how he’d been as a child, so his mental image had been very different. The small ten year old Dan had seen last was now a man, a very quiet man.

Dan ran up to him and hugged him tightly while Bran only patted his back with a small smile. “You returned,” he said.

“Of course I did,” Dan frowned.

“For a moment I thought you wanted to stay away; I wouldn’t have faulted you. You always wanted to see the world.”

“I did, but I will always come home to you,” Dan said ruffling Bran’s hair.

Bran gave him a sad smile and looked at Jon. “Hello, Jon,” he said, extending his arms to his older brother.

Jon smiled and gave him a tight hug. “You are a man now.”

“Almost,” smiled Bran. “I wish we could speak inside but I need to stay here, I still have things to do.”

“I don’t understand,” Jon said.

“I am revising history, the entire history of Westeros for a clue, a key of what to do to defeat the Night King,” Bran said but when he saw his brothers’ confused faces he shook his head. “Sansa will explain it to you.” He turned to Daenerys. “Thank you for coming. The Lords are waiting for you. Make it quick - you only have so much time to strike King’s Landing before the Long Night.”

“Will they want to join me?”

“Of course,” Bran said. “If you treat them with respect and don’t demand things in exchange for nothing.”

“She doesn’t do that,” Tyrion interjected.

“She does,” Bran insisted. “Loyalty is earned, not demanded. Offer them a chance to overturn their enemies and tell them what you will do for them in exchange. They are not Dothraki, or Unsullied; they already have faith in someone and that someone is not you, it’s Jon.” 

“Very well. Will you help me when the time comes?” Daenerys asked, and Phil was more than surprised that she didn't snap at him.

“I will, even if we are referring to different times. I will help for as long as I can.”

Phil was confused by that exchange too, all the secret messages, and by the look on everyone’s faces, nobody had understood entirely. They all started to walk back to the castle and when Phil looked back, he could only see Bran touching the weirwood tree, his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

DAN

Dan walked into The Great Keep only to be pulled aside sharply. He melted into the embrace even before he saw who it was. He knew that hug so well. He shut his eyes and remembered the last time he saw Arya, dirty, her hair cut short with a knife, her eyes carrying the heartbreak of their father’s death. 

“Took you long enough to come back,” she said.

“I was only gone a few months, I haven’t heard of you in years,” he stepped back and looked into her eyes. “Where were you? How are you?”

“I’m alright, Dan. I survived. I just had to find my own way.”

“I’m not letting you leave again,” he said.

Arya smirked, rolling her eyes. “You’re going to attack King’s Landing. I am coming with you.”

“You’ll get hurt.”

“Not before I kill Cersei.”

Dan only frowned when he saw Daenerys walk in and falter briefly, bringing her hand to her forehead before continuing to walk as if nothing had happened. He was pulled from his musings when Jon spotted them.

“Arya,” said Jon, pulling her into a hug and lifting her before spinning in place. 

“You used to be taller,” she said, hugging him back.

“No, I wasn’t.”

“How did you survive a knife through the heart?”

“I didn’t,” Jon smiled. “You still have your Needle.”

“Yeah and the dagger too, although Sansa stole it from me years ago; she just returned it.”

“Fighting again already?” Dan asked.

Arya shook her head. “I think we understand each other better now.” She gasped. “Whose sword is that?”

Jon unsheathed Longclaw and presented it to her. “It belonged to my Lord Commander, Jeor Mormonth. He gave it to me as a gift.”

“Did you see his son? I hear he works with Daenerys.”

“You shouldn’t call her by her name, have some respect,” Jon chastised her. “Who told you about Jorah Mormont?”

“Your friend Sam,” Arya said. “He’s in the library. Go see him after the meeting.”

Dan smiled at Jon. It was good to have Sam back. 

--

The Lords and Ladies of the northern houses sat in the Great Hall, nobody seemed pleased to see Daenerys, or Jon for that matter. Not when they thought he had submitted to the Targaryen Queen.

It was Daenerys herself who let them know that Jon had taken the trust they had put in him very seriously and had refused to bend the knee, praising him for it, admitting that it was wrong of her to ask him to do that when she hadn’t done anything to earn his loyalty. She said that she had come to know Jon well and understood why the North wanted to keep its independence and agreed, promising to keep her word after Cersei had been defeated and the White Walkers were no more. 

She asked them to join the fight against Cersei, not for her, but for themselves, to avenge those who had died before them at the hands of the Lannister army, for all the previous Lords and Ladies, for the late Starks and Tullys - for the north. “Does the North remember?” she asked.

“The North remembers,” they answered. 

After that, they had to plan the fine details. It was not wise to leave the North entirely unprotected even if they had enough time to go to battle in King’s Landing and return before the White Walkers crossed The Wall, if they found a way to do it. There were also people needed to ready the weapons, and train the younger generations. On Bran’s advice, only those who fit the available ships would travel south, the rest, especially the minor houses, would stay back in Winterfell to protect it and continue to prepare for The Long Night. 

And so, once everything was settled the war began once again. All forces marched to King’s Landing, those from the North sailed to the Vale and marched south, the Unsullied marched east, abandoning their post at Casterly Rock, Daenerys led those at Dragonstone west on her dragon and the Highgarden banners rode to the north east. 

[ms-a-z-u-l]

More than Gold  (Caster Gilgamesh x Reader)

Summary: There was something she didn’t realized over the course of time she stayed, and it was that from the moment she arrived, there was not a single woman coming out his chamber anymore.

Category: Angst, Romance

Warnings: Only forced kissing if that counts

************************************

A/N- This was the one I so far liked the most out of the three, so thank you for reading and hope anyone likes it!🦋

 (Also I wrote this in one night and by the end my brain was malfunctioning :v )

************************************

The first time he saw her was when Enkidu was still alive. Claiming to have lost her way from a place called Chaldea, she didn’t know how to get back and fortunately saw the city of Uruk from a distance. Mind you, this was also at the time Gilgamesh had no shame in bedding any woman he wished for, married or not. Did he had the same plans for her when he saw her so lost and nowhere to reside? At that moment, yes he did, but this time he somehow wanted to take his time taking her to his chambers, not forcefully but willingly.

Plans change however. She was more defiant, although not in an overbearing, annoying way that would get someone else executed. She was full of sarcasm, and rejected any type of advances from his in a smooth way that even left him dumbfounded. Her retorts were always given with a small, cocky smile, as if she was the one laying the cards in the table, winning the game.

By that point, the king had mostly given up on his initial plan and overtime just let her stay, unconsciously getting used to her presence.  

Everything was serene until after his best friend’s death. It left him numb, and afraid of dying himself, losing everything in the process. Everyone around noticed the change in demeanor. Most of the time, it looked as if he was lost, but no one dared say anything. She was the exception though.

It wasn’t the first time she had seen his chamber, he had sometimes been insistent that she wake him up, and lately it wasn’t because he had other intentions but simply because he wanted to hear her. But now the situation was different. It started with her checking up on him and ended in having the king’s wrapped around her waist and neck.

“You won’t do it” he heard her say calmly. For the position they were in, she didn’t look scared at all. “And what makes you think that? I’m not in my right mind at the moment and I can do what I please with anyone, including you” He sneered, holding her more tightly.

“Because it wouldn’t make it any better, it won’t really satisfy you” She managed to choke out as his grip on her neck was getting stronger. Gilgamesh stared at her for a couple of seconds, as if completing his next move. A moment later, she could see he had made a decision and before he took action he simply said, “Then you’re the most foolish woman” He smashed his lips against hers, rough and immediately pushing his tongue past her closed teeth aggressively, wanting to taste her more. She wasn’t reciprocating at all but wasn’t pushing him away, just letting him kiss her to his whim. His grip on her neck had loosened, and after pulling away for air not before pulling on her lower lip and started trailing kisses down her jaw and neck. It was when he placed in her shoulder blade that she felt it. Trailing down her arm slowly, she felt as tear by tear started falling and he had stopped nay ministration on her body. His hands were holding onto her wrist, head laying on her shoulder as he let the tears fall silently.

Feeling for him, she hesitantly raised a hand and placed it in his blonde locks, slightly stroking. Gilgamesh was holding tightly onto the fabric of her dress like a lifeline and didn’t let go until calming down and he was able to speak, more rationally this time. “I don’t know what to do, y/n, if to go and kill that cursed goddess or just stay until death eventually takes me as well. Tell me, what do I do”

She felt his anger, his frustration, but most of all she felt how much the king missed his friend, the one that he could ever see as equal now taken away so cruelly. Even remembering Enkidu’s soft expression and light smiles, it felt like a pierce through the heart. it had affected everyone who knew him, but everyone knew it inwardly destroyed the young king. As y/n continued stroking his hair, she stared outside at the now dark sky. Trying to find her words, she started, “I believe that answer can be found by only you. You can go and kill her, you can stay still. Scream, cry, curse. Or- you can choose to be a king, protect your people even from the gods and watch as your city grows. I don’t know what he would’ve wanted, I can’t put my words in his mouth, but he understood you as you did he. I’m sure you would want to fulfill any promise left. And I know he wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone, which is why Siduri and I are here. We cant replace him, of course, but we’re here in our own way, Gilgamesh. Whatever you decide to do, this time I won’t defy.”

Moments passed as he contemplated. What did HE wanted to do? As he though about it, he raised his head and came to his decision. Instead of letting death take him, he would find a way to win over it. He had a duty, and it was to see the life of humanity and its progressive path. He couldn’t do that if he died before it ended. Making his decision, he fully looked at y/n. “I’m not dying. Even if it takes me to the underworld, I will find a way to live until it’s the end for everyone. I’m going away for a while. I trust you and Siduri will take care of things here for me, so just hold still until then.”

“I won’t dare ask how long its going to take, so alright. This time I’ll follow orders from you, your majesty” He knew that tone, the one she used to lighten the mood whenever he was tense. It seems it never failed as it pulled a small smirk form him. “Look at you so obedient, I would’ve hoped you were like that regarding other things too.” He retorted suggestively. She knew however, it wasn’t a serious implication as it used to be before and laughed mockingly, “Ha! Right, I would’ve been out of the ziggurat by now if I gave in so easily”

He huffed indignantly, “You would’ve been the first woman I wanted to keep” She stayed quiet at that, sort of put off and not knowing how to take that comment, didn’t even noticed he had a hold of her hands, “You... still kept me here though”

“At first it was still in attempt to lure you in, but I must admit I now have other reasons I won’t tell until I come back” He stated, looking at her quiet curiously with a glint in his eyes. “Keeping me in suspense I see” she sighed and continued, “Alright, I’ll wait here then, not like there’s an alternative. But promise me this” Eyeing her curiously, he answered, “Making commands now?”

“A promise I said. I want you to not only come back, but to come back being you, being who you find yourself to be out there, and knowing that we’ll be the first ones to see you back in Uruk. Looking ahead and finally figured out what you need to do in reality, not what duty was assigned to you.” He looked at her incredulously, having expected to ask something for herself. “You aren’t greedy at all, aren’t you”

“I am, believe me for what I’m asking you, I am. But that’s also something I won’t say until you come back.” She said shaking his hands holding hers. “Fine, I’ll grant you that one wish as much as I can” Y/n smiled at his answer and held his hands tighter. “I’ll be waiting here then, how long it takes, Gilgamesh” before letting go of his hands, she leaned in quickly and placed a chaste kiss in the corner of his lips. She hurriedly walked to the door outside, and before leaving, she swore she could hear the words, “I won’t lose you to them either.”

...............................

A long time passed until y/n saw Gilgamesh coming back from his journey, and as promised, her and Siduri were the first ones he saw. He was different, longer hair and much less clothes than he worse before. But it wasn’t only that. She could see it, something had indeed changed in him and just from that, y/n could tell he came through with his promise. The king didn’t obtain immortality, but he realized it wasn’t something he needed any longer.

After more time passed, y/n hadn’t seen the king much after he came back until the particular morning Siduri woke her up and said Gilgamesh wanted to see her at his throne. When she got there he still was not there and waited a few minuted. When she heard footsteps and looked up, greeted by a different sight she expected. He looked different with purple markings on both his shoulders and a horned garment atop his head. He still minimum clothing, that hasn’t changed. Although a bit shocked, nonetheless she knew it was him, and she let a soft smile take over as he walked up and sat on his throne. Leaning his hatching on his left hand, he offered his right one to you. “Standing a few feet away, she questioned, “Yeah, before that, you haven’t told me what you said you were gonna keep until now”

“You tell me yours first and I will” Y/n grunted, persistence in her gaze, but after seeing he wasn’t going to let up, she silently agreed. Taking a deep breathe and preparing to say what she considers the most embarrassing thing, she answers. “It was you. I said I was greedy because I wanted you to be back, and I wanted to be the first one to see you, and that’s why I wanted you to promise that. Because despite how you were before and the certain intention you had with me, you allowed me to see more than that. You allowed me to see a vulnerable side and less harsher side, the side that felt lonely and the side that could actually consider someone else a friend. I know you had more than the king who took everything for himself, and I honestly found all sides admiring in a way. But that’s why I’m greedy, because I wanted you back no matter how many years it took, and because honestly I’ve been wanting to feel you in not just one way, but I had more pride than i allowed myself to show.” After she finished, y/n noticed Gilgamesh’s still stretched hand. He was still waiting for her to take it after all that, “My answer is short, by taking my hand and standing beside me you should know it, so stop stalling woman, and I’ll make sure to make you more greedy as you spend your life with me” widening her eyes slightly, she gaped at him, a little bit of red on her cheeks. Collecting herself, she walked up and took his hand, rough and calloused.

She intertwined hers finger with his and held tightly as he as he pulled her to stand beside his throne. They both looked ahead as the sun was becoming brighter and brighter, still loosely holding hands.

“You and him. Indeed you are more than all the gold I could ever have”      

[gwynpool]

it’s 2AM and i just finished Rule of Wolves (spoilers definitely up ahead)

first, to inform everyone, i read the spoilers when it got leaked in twitter cuz i can’t help myself. (it’s a sickness, i know) i think this is important since it definitely influenced my perspective upon reading the book. also, this is my first time being early in a party so yay me! going in ROW was easy for me because i started King of Scars the day before book 2’s actual release date so everything’s fresh.

secondly, this is really long so i’m sorry. i just have a lot of feelings and need to write it all down. on with the rant.

King of Scars was wonderful to me since it gave me my favorite Shadow and Bone character and the girl who i used to hate for being a mean girl but who I now admire with every ounce of my being. It also introduced a new ship that I am now obsessed with and is ruling besides my love for Jude&Cardan. Not to mention, it gave us Nina, whom though i’m not entirely a fan of due to all my love focusing on Kaz and Inej, allowed the connection between Shadow&Bone with SixofCrows.

Moving on, ROW was a ride and whirlwind of emotions. unfortunately, it wasn’t always the best kind.

I love the fantasy elements of it (tho it was a huge leap especially with the saints power thingy) and the politics because i am a sucker for scheming and stealing thrones.

the zoyalai teasing and angst was painful but in the best way since slowburn is what keeps me going.

nina finding comfort (and attraction, apparently) from hanne made my heart flutter because i haven’t gotten over matthias but this allowed a sort of closure and next chapter for our waffle-loving queen.

the promised wedding by leigh wasn’t what i expected but i’m not complaining since david&genya deserved nothing but happiness.

almost everything seems going well (aside from the fact that aleksander was ressurected apparently)and then everything crashes and burns and i just have to wonder why?

so the promised funeral alongside the wedding one, immediately comes after two? three? chapters as they were attacked during the afterparty of the wedding. and guess what? leigh killed the fcking groom.

the thing is i already knew he was going to die (with the spoilers and all) but i did not expect it to come immediately after the freaking wedding. not even halfway through the book!

being spoiled, i think, took most of the pain from the event but it doesn’t lessen the fact that it was completely unnecessary??? like though the characters grieved, nothing much was affected from his death? also, don’t talk to me about the character development for the survivors from this tragic event because there. was. absolutely. NONE.

and then we have the fricking darling ressurected. i love him in the first book of the grishaverse though i knew he was still a villain, don’t get me wrong. and my heart ached but was also relieved with his death in the third. he also inspired one of my all-time favorite fantasy villain(antihero?) in the form of Adelina Amouteru in the Young Elites series.

Ceased to be a Darklina fan and am now shipping Aleksander with Adelina because their power tho? like clings to like and they are both imbued with unfathomable darkness. somebody write fics please.

but bringing him back was what for exactly? leigh bardugo preached on how toxic the darkling character was and how we really shouldn’t like him in terms of agreeing with his ideals and yada yada. and yet she brings him back because apparently, he’s the only one paying her bills.

his conversation with alina tho had me expecting some darklina crumbs with fan service on the side since the stans were all raving about it on twitter *vomiting noises from toxicity* but i was surprised since it just further reminded us of how he truly is a villain in his very core and would do anything to get what he wants. so all in all it wasn’t entirely awful and it actually made me like Mal a bit. (never was a fan of him but that’s my issue, not the character’s)

setting aside the darkling issue a bit, the POV from Mayu was skippable. i mean obviously it still needs to be read for the Shu politics and the khergud existence but it just made me want to go to the next pov. Same goes for the “the monk’s” POV since you all know how i feel about him and the cult with it’s assembly and shit ended up also being unnecessary towards the end. honestly, i could do without the journey of the starless saint and his cult.

i truly enjoyed the fjerdan plot to my surprise and i like how nina kind of went through the last of us 2 circle of hate journey. it was definitely difficult knowing her pain and all that she went through and still choosing to be the better person. and yet, i can’t help but be more proud of her development. also, the supposed death of hanne got me going for a second and was actually ready to storm leigh’s home to fix her mistake. thank god it was plot twist. that’s all i have to say on the nina POV because i don’t wanna ruin my good feeling on this.

the crows cameo gave us a mini heist and it just made me miss reading their adventures. also the suli scene tugged at my heart.

imma skip zoya’s transformation but it utterly made me feel amazing and i have never been more glad that she’s kind of overpowered. she deserves it so fck all them haters. you can choke.

nikolai’s revelation and decision for the ravkan throne was not all that surprising, even without my knowledge of the spoilers. i honestly had a feeling that he was always his best self when he was strumhond and he only chose to fulfill the duties of the king because at that time, there was no other choice. so him giving up the throne to his beloved soldier, summoner and saint was a quite satisfying choice of route. there has been some others who would contest nikolai’s decision to step down as something unnecessary in the grand scheme of things but i would stand by my belief that nikolai made the best choice for ravka and for himself. not to say that i didn’t want to see both the queen and king side by side ruling but what are fanfictions for?

zoyalai is canon and endgame. finally. i can die now.

now the last two chapters was a toss up. for the first one was the darkling’s sacrifice. okay, so i was also spoiled by this from twitter but when i was reading the book, i keep expecting it to be brought up and it wasn’t. so i honestly thought that maybe that spoiler was a prank. lo and behold it was not and it wasn’t until the very last end. so the buildup was goddamn awful. the whole concept of the thorn wood and sort of atlas moment was just no. like you’re just springing this up now? when we’re supposed to be tying up loose ends but making sure it had history and buildup to well, back it up.

also leigh outright writing genya saying it was not a redemption for the darkling and him being unapologetic about his crimes (basically being a truly evil asshole) doesn’t remove the fact that it still comes off as a redemption arc especially with what is now the synopsis of SOC 3 but ill get to that. he still was the one who did a heroic deed and that fucks me up because it was just devastating to me after making peace with his end in ruin and rising. not because i was hurt that he died yet again boohoo but because it kind of invalidates everything that alina, genya, zoya and countless other victims went through.

on a side note, the darling stans on twitter who keeps defending his actions, i would really advise you to reflect on your decisions cuz it is honestly unhealthy. also, you lot talking smack about nikolai and zoya refusing to sacrifice their lives? stop twisting the story to suit your toxic admiration, nikolai was even first to offer up his life and would do so if it was actually possible. so just go hide in your darkling cocoon and stop hating on other characters to justify your favored aleksander.

the very last chapter aka coronation was good because it gave us inej ghafa cameo as captain of her ship and bonding with our resident privateer and also genya, alina and zoya bonding. but it was bad because apparently the darkling chronicles is still not over and now we’re supposed to grant him death like that’s going to make everything okay? i know forgiveness and breaking the circle of hate and revenge is a huge theme in this duology but honestly, this is just too extreme. with nina it was understandable and the people she hated were born of twisted mindset and circumstances but the darkling? hahahah no. he is a literal immortal who was delusional so now that he’s paying for his crimes, you want to allow him death because you have nightmares? zoya, goddamit no! same to you genya and alina. and so this will be the plot for the third six of crows? why can’t we just stop making this about him. now he gunna steal kaz’s thunder? over my dead body.

in the end, i gave this book 4 stars in goodreads because if i ignore the darkling plot, it was a really good use of politics and fantasy merging in a storyline. i can’t fault leigh for choosing to do this since it’s still her book so i definitely don’t have a right to dictate what i expected from this. also, i have a half a mind to believe that she fell in love with ben barnes and had him in mind writing this so i really cannot blame her because i have been under that man’s charms since prince caspian came out. the spoilers i read made me more open in reading this (backwards thinking but eh that’s how i roll) so i’m not at all crushed by what transpired. it was just weird and was lackluster in its attempt to give ravka some sort of peace. frankly, i just want to read the third six of crows book to maybe find some sort of calm in all this craziness and also delve in some zoyalai fanfiction because it was a long time coming.

shameless promotion but if you guys want to check out my nikolai duology spotify playlist, here’s the link:

[datastate]

every time i see someone say they think quirrel died i want to shake them - doubly so if they enjoy hornet’s character and look forward to silksong

quirrel and hornet are both people who were bound to their duty which begun and end with hallownest (and the areas around). while quirrel was once a part of hallownest and gave that up for monomon, quirrel in his second life has found a new calling in satisfying his curiosity in a more hands-on manner, conducting his own research and discovering new views and other intriguing things on his adventures as a wanderer. however - before he rediscovered the cause for why hallownest was removed from his memory, he was already living a fairly good life. why would he give that up just because this life he had enjoyed for countless years was revealed to have been spurred due to a kingdom he only recalls fragments of? while there is conflict born from that on what his purpose now is, he ultimately comes to find peace with the fact he doesn’t know, but as everything else in his life, he will discover it. he has fulfilled his duty as the forgotten dreamer, and it is now time to put this dead kingdom and his ties to it to rest and find himself outside of what once clung to him for so long.

something similar applies to hornet, especially considering she had spent so long with this as her sole purpose for staying in its ruins. what she needs now that she is no longer holding the mantle of several societies upon her back is introspection and readjustment that will presumably be explored in silksong simply by its set-up in contrast to hollow knight.

yes, hornet is younger than quirrel; and that does affect their regard to accepting this truth! while they both have their own journeys to go through. hornet’s requires more simply due to her remaining in hallownest throughout this time, while quirrel’s is finding peace with the fact he is finally free to carry out his own destiny with no final destination. he is released of all burden hallownest (and a close friend, monomon) placed upon his shoulders, and it is now up to him alone how he proceeds now that the knowledge of his full self is returned to him.

[ ok to rb (as are most of my posts lol); do not mention drowning (in detail) on this post or i will block you ]

[aliveanddrunkonsunlight]

gifts - Jaime

Jaime/Brienne + love languages, based off @observedchaos‘ post 

For @naomignome and tagging @pretty--thief because this seems like her jam.

*

A few weeks before his wedding, he receives a parcel. His sword, wrapped in a soft cloth and laid in a finely crafted wooden box, and a note from her. He has to brace himself against the desk as he reads her words: May this protect your home and your betrothed.

When they parted, he left Widow’s Wail with her. “I have-” He pressed a finger to her lips to quiet her. Tears pool in her eyes. They are likely to drown him. 

The cavern of his chest is ripped open, watching her go, sacrificing love for duty. “Please,” he can scarcely speak as he presses his forehead to hers, his tears landing on her cheek. “May it serve you well, my lady. Protect your home.”  

After the war, he returned to Casterly, the Lannister reputation in shambles. It was all he had.  He spent a decade rebuilding, returning a sense of justice, decency, and generosity to the family name. 

Now he is to be wed, because when he began to rule fairly and display kindness, the people of Lannisport insisted they would not be satisfied until he found his own happiness. 

And yet the woman he loves is a continent away. 

*

Ten years later

He is watching Willem in the yard when Peck arrives by his side, nearly breathless. “You have a visitor, my lord.” 

Jaime frowns, wondering if it is someone from Lannisport coming to air their grievances. He had cleared the day to spend time with his son. “Put them in the blue room and offer them refreshments. I’ll be up in a moment.” 

“Ser, I really think you should come now.” He has watched Peck grow from a scrawny teenage boy into a man, happily married and with children of his own, but he’s never seen the man this out of sorts. 

“Is the Queen here?” Jaime intones with a rather hollow laugh. 

“No, ser,” Peck exhales. “Not the Queen. The Evenstar.” 

The Evenstar. The title echoes in his head for a moment, his legs feeling weak. “Willem,” he calls to his son, but the boy is so fiercely attacking one of the straw men in the yard he doesn’t hear him. 

“I’ll fetch him.” Peck offers.

“Thank you.” Jaime thinks he manages to say before he brushes past him and slips inside the Rock. His wife has been gone nearly two years now, leaving Willem scarcely older than Jaime had been when his own mother died. 

He has heard little of Tarth, as consumed as he was in transforming the reputation of the Lannisters and the Westerlands. Perhaps he has not wanted to hear. But now he wonders if these past twenty years have found her fulfilled, found her happy. 

She is standing in the blue room, but the color of the walls are not anything when compared to her eyes. “Brienne.” he whispers from the doorway. She looks as strong as ever, but holds herself differently somehow. Her spine is straight, her shoulders pulled back, proud and dignified.  

“Jaime.” she smiles fondly at him, tears pooling in her eyes. He crosses the room to her, pulling her into a hug. He is unable to act like a stranger with her after all these years, not when she remains the one person who knows him so well. “How are you?” she asks. 

“I’m well.” He sits, smoothing his hand over his thigh. Years ago, he stopped wearing the golden hand, and simply began having the sleeves of his shirts sewn up. “You’ve traveled a long way. Is everything alright?” Jaime does not voice what they are both thinking. She has never visited here, just as he has never visited Tarth. It would have been too painful.

“I--” she lets out a shaky breath from her seat on the chair across from him. “I’m realizing now this is all a bit foolish.” 

He leans forward. “Whatever your reason for being here, I doubt it is foolish.” 

Brienne runs a hand across her stomach, a gesture so small he might not have noticed it, except it has been so long since he’s seen her, he wants to soak up every moment in her presence. He recognizes the gesture as the same way his wife used to touch her hand to her stomach when she was pregnant with Willem. “There is a man who claims to be a Tarth heir. A baseborn son of my father.” She presses her hands together in her lap. “Which could be true,” Brienne whispers. 

“Are you not older than he?” 

“Yes, but I am a woman.” Her gaze flickers up to his and then away. “My father never declared me formally as his heir. That was always Galladon.” 

“It was a given.” Jaime says brusquely, offended on her behalf. “You stepped in when Tarth had no leader. You have been through so much.”

She nods and even though she appears as strong as always, he can see how the weight of the years has worn away at her. “I’ve written to Sansa about it and she assures me she will uphold my claim, but I am worried…” She lets out a sigh and stands from the chair, starting to pace around the room. 

He has spent the past two decades trying not to get involved in the politics of the kingdom, instead preferring to concentrate on his lands, his people, but he is glad to hear Brienne has a friend in the Queen. “Do you think he will try to claim it by force?” 

Brienne dips her chin. “Yes. I am worried about...the children.” She stops her pacing and looks at him then. “I have twins. I do not know if you had heard.” 

His voice is hushed when he replies, “I hadn’t.” 

“They are almost old enough to defend themselves, but they are still so young. Twelve.” Her hand trails across her stomach. “Their father died a few months ago.” 

“Brienne…” he murmurs, uncertain what to say. “I am sorry.” 

“It’s alright,” she replies. “I...I am not afraid to take on this man, if need be, but Sansa, the Queen, suggested I might shore up my defenses. If I could find someone who wields enough power to command men, who would be loyal to me, my island.” 

Jaime thinks he understands what Brienne is suggesting, but is frozen in shock in his seat. “Are you...asking about a political alliance? With me?” 

“I trust you.” Her voice is small, barely above a whisper, and he itches to cross the room and take her in his arms again. “I do not even know if you have men you could send or-”

“I do. I would come myself, too, if you have a need for a battered one-armed knight.” Her gaze is focused on the fireplace, but he waits anxiously for her answer. 

“I always have need of you.” She turns towards him, and the familiarity of her, standing before him, flesh and blood after all these years apart stuns him speechless. 

He stands then, taking a hesitant step towards her, then another, and even as he is slipping his arms around her, he expects her to draw away from him. “Brienne, are you asking me for more than an alliance?”  

She bites her lip. “I would not...except this man and I--” Brienne sucks in a sharp breath as Jaime draws even closer, his nose pressing against the shell of her ear as he places a gentle kiss at her temple. “Jaime…” she murmurs, her eyes filling with tears again. 

He did not even realize how much he longed for this moment all these years, dreamt of it. “May I kiss you?”

She cannot answer, only nods through her tears. He presses gentle kisses to each of her cheeks, extra soft over her scar, kissing away her tears before pressing one to her lips. Her mouth is soft and warm and opens eagerly to his and they cannot get enough. Brienne grasps his hand on her cheek and when they stop, breathing hard against each other, Jaime lets out a soft laugh. “There is one other thing,” she tells him, her thumb stroking over his. “I am with child again.” 

His eyes widen and a broad grin spreads across his face. “I will swear it is my own if that is what you wish of me.” 

“Are you certain?” Her blue eyes blink, momentarily in doubt.

“I have never been as certain about anything else in my life as I am about this, my lady.” 

She smiles, and it is as soft as her kisses. “You will have to come to Tarth.” 

He laughs again. “I realize that.” Brienne kisses him then, and yes, he would do anything for her. 

*

Every anniversary, Jaime teases her about the pretender, saying he should write the man a thank you letter. “Or perhaps it is Sansa who I should thank.” He says, grabbing at the soft flesh of his wife’s side as she passes by. Brienne brushes at his hand ineffectively, landing in his lap even as she tries to push him away. 

“It would have been rather impolite to show up on your doorstep and ask you to marry me without a royal decree,” she chides. 

“I would have said yes no matter what.” He nudges his nose into her hair, breathing in deeply. “It has all been a gift.” Their marriage allowed him to be a father three times over. First to her twins, Arthur and Alys, then to their daughter, Rosaline. Brienne allowed Willem to drag her out to the yard every morning, laughing when Jaime pretended to take offense that his own son preferred sparring with her. 

Their home is alive with the sound of their children’s voices, laughter, even sometimes with a mock swordfight or two, all of it so full of love. 

He would gladly do it all again, wait a lifetime for her, if it meant it would earn him all of this.

*

Author’s Note: It might have been less common for women to get pregnant when they were older in the medieval era than it is now, but Brienne is 40/41 here and Jaime is 54/55.

[legolasbadass]

Heart of Gold, Chapter 16

Characters: Thorin, Dis, Thrain, Dwalin, Balin, Original Characters

Relationship: Thorin x OC

Setting: Post Azanulbizar, Pre Quest of Erebor

Notes: Hi everyone! I hope you are all well and staying safe! These notes are becoming redundant, but I will still apologize for the long wait I have imposed on you (again)! I had a crazy finals season, and then I had barely any inspiration or motivation to finish/edit this chapter! I have spent the last week and a half editing, so I would really appreciate any feedback on this chapter. I also promise (I know, big word, but I really promise!) that you won't have to wait as long for the next chapter. Some exciting things are happening in the story, and I could not be more eager to share them with you! Without any further ado, here is the long-awaited 16th chapter. I hope you enjoy it! 💙

This is the 16th chapter to my Thorin Oakenshield fan fiction, Heart of Gold, which can be read in full on ao3. Go check it out there to read from the start! Please consider liking or reblogging if you enjoyed this chapter or if you are enjoying the story so far! 

Word Count: 6893

Thorin could not for the life of him concentrate on the council meeting. It felt as though they had been at it for hours. Glancing up at the clock, he saw that it was now four o'clock in the afternoon, only to realize he had no idea when the meeting had started. All he knew was that it was probably too long ago. 

Four o'clock. That meant Dania would be sitting with his mother and sister for tea time. Despite all his best intentions, he could not help but think of her at the most inappropriate times. 

Being the heir was his duty. 

But she was his heart. 

His One. 

Why did his father have to recount their whole eventless journey to Lord Yngvi? It was as though he was inciting Thorin's mind to wander; like he was inviting him to drift down deep, secluded dreams where he and Dania were together, and they faced neither enmity nor aversion. 

In this fanciful world, he held her proudly, boldly, and loved her frankly and openly. That was what she deserved. Nothing less. The image of her being his — wearing his clasp in her braid, his colours on her gown, and his hand on her arm — was driving him mad. That image almost made him stand up on his feet at that very moment and profess his undying love for her in front of all these council members — their opinions be damned. 

But he knew he could not. He must not because he knew what their reaction would be. He knew the frown that would cover their faces and the scandalized revulsion that would flicker in their eyes. And he knew their opinion did matter, regardless of how much he wished it did not.

Dania deserved nothing less than his undivided devotion and to be adored and respected like the jewel she was. That was why he could not forgo their support and condemn her to a life of shame and shunning because she was not the one their kin approved of. Even though he knew there was no one better for him than her, that there was no one better than her to stand by his side and support him through his life. He had to keep it inside. 

He could not stand the fact that she had to suffer because of their closed minds. The sight of her tear-stricken cheeks as she told him of the venture she was forced to undertake to keep their union secret haunted him. He despised all the people in this room because of it. 

But he had to keep it inside. Sulking, he pressed his fists into his thighs to stop himself from screaming in rage at the injustice of it all. 

A hand on his arm pulled him back to reality. Vili was looking at him; concern etched onto his face. Thorin nodded to let him know he was alright and forced himself to concentrate on the conversation unfolding before him. 

"With all due respect, My Lord, we are still recovering from Azanulbizar. At this time of the year especially, our supplies are lower than they have ever been, " one of the council members was saying. He was young, perhaps even younger than Thorin, but already he stood right next to Lord Ynvgi; a sign of the trust his lord had in him, a sign of his influence in this room. 

Most of the council members were young, yet already they occupied the most influential positions and already led their families. 

We are still recovering from Azanulbizar. 

How long would that battle haunt them? 

So many people — too many — had perished, had suffered, or had been forced to grow up too fast just as he had, many years ago, on the other side of the world when that wretched worm had attacked his homeland. 

"I agree with Master Agnar," one of the eldest members said as he stood up. "However, Lord Thrain, like his ancestors before him, is an ally to the Firebeards*." Thorin looked around at those words, assessing where people's loyalties lay. "He has chosen our Halls for his only daughter's wedding — a most joyous occasion — is it not our duty to lend him our hand?" 

Lord Ynvgi gave a slight nod, though whether this was a gesture of agreement or dissent, Thorin did not know. 

"Master Mundi is right," said a younger Dwarf whom Thorin recognized as Master Airi, the one who had warned them of the orcs' numbers before the battle. "Besides, a wedding would be a welcomed distraction from the hard winter we have suffered." 

Several side glances were shared in response. His words rang true, though perhaps they did not form the most persuasive argument. 

At the other end of the table, a tall Dwarrow stood and looked to Lord Yngvi.

"Yes, Lady Ragnhildr," Lord Yngvi nodded. 

"Perhaps a bargain may be struck, My Lords," she began in a silvery voice. "I believe it is safe to say that I am not the only one who would be honoured for the wedding to take place here in Lord Yngvi's Hall. We may even lend Lord Thrain a hand as he ventures further South and finds a place to settle permanently — "

"Lay Ragnhildr, I usually applaud your council, but this is preposterous. We do not run a charity," the Dwarf right next to Lord Ynvgi interjected. 

Thorin heard his father sigh as Lady Ragnhildr smiled scornfully. "Perhaps if you would let me finish speaking my mind, there would be no need to insult my intelligence and hurt your own in the process."

A few, including Vili, had to stifle their snorts. 

"As I was saying," she went on with a side glance to the one who had interrupted her, "Perhaps we may strike a deal. The wedding takes place here, and we offer help as you find a place to settle. In exchange, as soon as your forges are up and running, you must give us a third of the weapons produced within the year, and we have your word that if any orcs, or even Men, come to attack us, we can count on your support." 

She and Lord Yngvi were staring at each other as she spoke, and he was nodding in approval as she went. 

"This is not charity," she said, scanning the table until her eyes landed on Thrain. "Nor is this a favour. This is business. As many of my colleagues have pointed out: times are hard. We will only survive if we can count on one another." 

Thorin found himself nodding in approval. Of course, fulfilling such a deal would be a strain on them, but what other choice did they have? They needed their help. And his father, who was intent on Dis being married as soon as possible —  "for the good of the line of Durin," as he put it — would find even more cause to agree to this plan. 

Thorin had to admire Lady Ragnhildr's negotiation skills. He only had to place himself in her shoes to see that,  given the circumstances, this was the best offer she could make and that it was actually an advantage to both parties. 

Fortunately, Thrain agreed with his son's unspoken opinions. It only took one glance between them, and the king was nodding. "Very well, Lord Yngvi." 

"I am honoured to host your daughter's wedding, Lord Thrain," Lord Yngvi said formerly, but there was something in his tone that hinted at old friends coming together rather than two lords signing an agreement. "Especially since, long ago, I was very close to Lord Viljar, Lord Vili's father," he added for the benefit of the younger council members. "This wedding shall be a celebration of my friendship with him as well as my friendship with you, Lord Thrain.

"There is much planning to get through before that joyous day is upon us," he went on. "But I think this is progress enough for today. I, for one, would like a very large ale." As soon as he said so, the boy sitting next to him stood to fulfill his request. "This meeting is adjourned, for now."

Finally, Thorin thought with a quiet sigh. He was satisfied with how the negotiations had concluded, but all he wanted now was to rest. He still would not get that. There was to be a feast tonight, and then there would be more negotiations tomorrow, and then soon enough, they would be back on the road. 

"Are you alright, brother?"

Thorin turned to face Vili and froze. Images of warm Spring days filled with honeycakes and laughter flashed in his mind, juxtaposed with blood and screams. Brother. Frerin always called him that. Not Thorin. Brother. 

"Thorin?" 

"I am fine," Thorin said firmly, then, more gently, "I am fine. Thank you."

His father, along with Mimir, Dania's father, and Nar, was still conversing with Lord Yngvi, so Thorin made his way out of the council room. He was halfway down the hallway when he realized Vili was walking next to him. 

"So," Vili said tentatively. "How are you, truly?" 

"I told you: I am fine." 

"I am sorry, I did not mean to offend you by calling you brother, I just thought — "

"You did not offend me," Thorin said as he looked at him. "Really. You did not."

"Alright," Vili said with a tilt of his head. "Then, do you want to talk about it?" 

"About what?" Thorin sighed. 

"About what is making you so irritable — so . . . distracted," he said. 

Thorin frowned, his jaw set. "I am not — "

"Come now, Thorin," Vili chuckled. "I practically had to push you so that you'd listen in there. And your jaw was clenched so tight I was worried you would break your teeth."

How insolent, Thorin thought. He hadn't realized it was Vili's place to study him like he was some sick animal. He had half a mind to tell him off, but then his anger might be interpreted as a sign that there was some truth to Vili's observations. There was truth to it, Thorin did not deny that, but he would not admit it aloud either. 

"Is this about Dania?" 

Thorin could not hold back his outburst this time. 

"What does she have to do with any of this?" he demanded, looking down at him. 

His need to protect her — and their secret — mingled with the fear of being discovered, and what that would bring about fogged his mind. He could not let anyone take her away from him. He would not. 

"I — I do not know," Vili stammered. "I just thought — "

Looking around, Vili took a deep breath, then looked back to Thorin with softness and determination in his eyes. "Listen, Thorin, I spoke with Dis and from the things she said — I gathered there might be something between you two."

Thorin eyed him intently for a moment. "You mean Dis told you?" 

Vili sighed. "Yes, she told me," he admitted as he scratched his pale beard. At least he had the decency to sound embarrassed. 

Exasperation stretched Thorin's already overloaded mind. Leaning toward Vili to avoid behind overhead, he groaned, "you cannot tell anyone." He did not even wait for an answer before moving away, though he heard Vili trailing after him. 

***

Staring at the soaked leaves at the bottom of her cup, Dania sighed inwardly. The afternoon was passing away slowly, and with each minute, the respite it had promised was diluted like the taste of honey she chased in her tea. 

Dania was sick of tea. And most of all, she was sick of the idle chat. Dis didn't seem to mind too much. After all, she was being bombarded with questions about her upcoming wedding, which kept her mind occupied and her cheeks warm and red. Dania, on the other hand, felt out of place. 

Sitting on a luxurious, currant red sofa, Dania found herself more easily invested in her surroundings than in the conversation. After all, it went on as it usually did. Ester gossiped, Nal laughed, and Illiana scolded them when they went too far, though a smirk always tugged at her lips. Beside Dania, Lady Adis was silent, while Ester's mother, Lady Inger, and Lady Vigga, Lord Yngvi's wife, participated in the conversation enthusiastically. 

Lady Vigga was also quite the gossiper, though everything else about her was still a mystery. The many beads and jewels in her hair and beard marked her as a lady of high standing. She had a handsome face, though her thin lips and her wide-set eyes made her appear stern. The dark red of her dress did nothing to counter that impression. 

She obviously had expensive taste, if this room was anything to go by. A stone table stood between the sofa Dania and the queen sat on and the other on which Dis, Illiana, and Nal were sitting.  Ester, her mother and Lady Vigga occupied three of the four other chairs, made of some dark wood of which Dania should have remembered the name, and upholstered in faded golden damask. Covering the stone floor was a thick rug, its colours similar to those on the tapestries on the walls. One depicted a large figure with a long beard adorned with dozens of intricate, coloured beads. Dania recognized him as Mahal, their maker. In front of him were seven Dwarves looking up, cowering before him as he raised his hammer.* 

Lady Yngvi had offered this sitting room, along with its adjacent chambers, to Lady Adis and Lord Thrain as long as they remained in his Hall. Lord Thrain, however, had insisted on them remaining in their encampment just outside the gates. Whether this was because of pride or simply because he did not wish to abuse their hospitality, Dania was not sure, but she was grateful for it. 

When they had first entered the sitting room, Lady Vigga warmly welcomed them, but her eyes soon halted on Dania. 

"You must be Dania," Lady Vigga had said with a wry smile. "I have heard a lot about you."

Dania had no idea how to respond to such a greeting. Of course, she was used to people giving her odd looks and whispering behind her back, but that did not make it pleasant. And while she was used to it, it was clear that Lady Adis was not, and somehow she seemed to have taken personally the looks Dania had received. 

"Yes, Dania is quite the accomplished young lady," Lady Adis had responded in the same tone as she placed an arm around Dania's shoulders. 

Lady Adis and Lady Vigga had glared at one another for a moment as the hand on Dania's shoulder tightened its grip. It was a protective gesture, Dania had realized with embarrassment.

Lady Adis had been quiet since then, and Dania felt terribly guilty. Always, her presence seemed to be asking people to pick a side, as it had now. Dania hated it. Yet, at the same time, she could hardly believe Lady Adis had taken her defence. Did she feel obligated to do so? Or did she actually care? Dania knew her enough to know that the answer probably resided in the latter, but she still could not believe someone would go so far as to ruin their afternoon to defend her. Once again, she was immeasurably indebted to Lady Adis, but even more than this, she was profoundly touched.

As though sensing her inner turmoil, Lady Adis squeezed Dania's hand, a gesture that made her feel like a child, but not in a bad way. It told her that it was alright for her to be upset, that she was not weak for feeling so, and that she was allowed to seek comfort — comfort which Lady Adis wanted to give her. 

Promise me that you will tell me if you are feeling scared or lonely ever again. I am here for you, she had said the night the soldiers had returned from Azanulbizar. 

Her touch was a reminder of that conversation they'd had, and Dania was so grateful for it.  

It was the mention of Thorin's name that brought Dania's attention back to the Dwarrows before her. 

"I almost did not recognize him when I saw him yesterday," Lady Vigga said. "He has grown into a very fine young Dwarf. And he looks so much like you, Lady Adis."

"Yes, he does," Lady Adis replied with a small smile. 

"I imagine it must be odd for him to see his younger sister married before him," Lady Vigga said. 

So they had come to it that quickly. Ester shifted in her seat at those words; that alone was enough to provoke the monster inside Dania. 

"Not at all," Lady Adis replied. "I see no reason to rush him into an unwanted marriage. When he finds the right person, he will be ready." 

From the corner of her eye, Dania saw Dis glance at her quickly. Dania left her face a blank canvas, yet she could feel moisture forming in her hands, and the ever-present ache she'd fought so hard to bury bloomed again in her stomach. 

Whatever Lady Adis said, Lord Thrain did appear to be in a hurry to marry his daughter. Dis, like Dania, was only forty-five years old, and that thought did nothing to ease Dania's worries. Of course, they could not force Thorin to marry, but they could very well place him in a position where he had little choice but to consent to it. Dania hoped it would not come to this because she would have no right to get in the way if it did. 

She would not let him sacrifice everything for her. 

"Who said anything about 'unwanted'?" Lady Inger said with a chuckle, sounding as though she was attempting to lighten the mood, yet her eyes spoke a different language entirely. She wanted something. "So many young Dwarrows must have their eyes set on him."

Dania hated the way they talked about Thorin. She hated how they talked about him as though he was a piece of meat; a pawn in their grand game of chess. 

"I do not think my brother would be overjoyed to learn you were using his personal life as tea time entertainment," Dis said dispassionately. Dania wanted to kiss her in thanks for voicing her thoughts.

"Oh, my dear," Lady Vigga said with a laugh, "this has nothing to do with his personal life."

"You are talking about his marriage prospects — that has everything to do with his personal life!" Dis retorted. 

"Not if you are the heir to the throne of Erebor," Lady Vigga said. "Whomever he marries will be a queen one day. This is politics; not love."

"Perhaps these two concepts are not mutually exclusive," Illiana said. "Dis and Vili's upcoming marriage is a political one, but they do love each other." 

Smiling softly, Dania and Illiana exchanged a glance. Dis' cheeks had turned a bright red. 

"If the prince has his sister's sense then, yes; he will learn to love the one who will make the right queen," Lady Vigga said with a wave of her hand as though they were discussing whether one should wear red or blue to a feast. 

"Ah, and the prince is so devoted to his duties. He will make the right choice," Lady Inger said as she shared a look with her daughter. The monster inside Dania coiled its tail and roared. 

Nevertheless, Dania could not help but notice that Lady Adis was silent. Everything — or, almost everything — Laddy Vigga had said was true, and yet the queen's silence appeared to Dania as a small beacon of hope. Perhaps it was foolish. It probably was. Yet Dania clung to it like it was a ray of sun, and she was a flower that had bloomed too early in the Spring and found itself in a dark and barren world. 

"It is getting late," Lady Adis said as she rose from her seat, "and we must get ready for the feast tonight."

"Yes, and what an event that will be," Lady Vigga replied with a too-wide smile. "I look forward to seeing you there." 

Lady Adis nodded, then turned to Dania. "Are you coming, dear?" 

Dania smiled shyly at the term of endearment and stood. She gave a quick curtsy to Lady Vigga then gladly followed Lady Adis and Dis out of the sitting room. A long sigh escaped her lips when the door closed behind her. 

"Yes, I quite agree with that sentiment," Lady Adis said in response. 

Dania blushed, having hoped her most improper display of irritation would go unnoticed, but the queen did not seem to mind. 

"I hope you girls will excuse my behaviour," Lady Adis said as they walked down the curved hallway. "It is not like me to lose my temper in this way. But, then again, I have always despised Lady Vigga, and she was particularly bothersome today."

"You mean to say she was an absolute wretch," Dis said with a grimace, causing Dania to snicker. 

"Dis!" Lady Adis hissed in reproach, but there was an amused gleam in her eyes. Then a dry cough escaped her lips, causing Dis and Dania to stare at her in concern. "I'm alright — the air was just — quite stuffy in there." When her breathing recovered, she went on, "Dania, I do hope you will not let that viper's words get to you."

"It's alright," Dania said with a shrug. "I'm used to it."

"That does not mean you should accept it," Lady Adis replied.

They had made it back to the crowded entrance hall. Beyond the large stone gate, the sun was beginning to set so that the whole room basked in its warmth. 

"Vili!" Dis suddenly called out and walked ahead to where her betrothed had appeared. He smiled widely when he saw her, and the two exchanged a warm embrace, without a care for the stares they were attracting from the crowd of people around them.

"Listen to me carefully, Dania," Lady Adis' voice called her attention away from the couple. "You are a wonderful girl; smart, brave, and above all, you have a kindness that can warm even the coldest of hearts. Many people in this world are close-minded and will seek to tear you down because they refuse to challenge their beliefs. You must not let their words reach your heart."

Dania stared at her with wide eyes, silent as she let the motherly care in Lady Adis' eyes wash over her, feeding her the courage to speak. 

"My Lady," she said hesitantly. "What is it that they say?" Lady Adis frowned. Taking this as a sign of misunderstanding, Dania went on. "Lady Vigga said she had heard a lot about me. . . ."

Closing her eyes for an instant, Lady Adis took a deep breath. "Some — like Lady Vigga — believe that you are not one of us; that you are — "

"An outlander," Dania said flatly, looking down at the ground. She only looked up when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

"We are all outlanders in this part of the world," Lady Adis said. "And you are one of us. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Besides, in what world is it acceptable to scorn someone based on where they come from — something that is out of your control?"

Dania nodded slowly. Lady Adis' words seemed contradictory to her. She was one of them, but she could not be proud of the blood that flowed through her. The blood of their enemies. 

As though she heard these thoughts, Lady Adis' grip on her shoulder tightened. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, my dear. You must know that we cannot judge an entire race based on the actions of a single individual. Whatever words you might have heard thrown around behind your back, know that your mother — she did not bewitch your father or do anything ridiculous of the sort; they loved each other, and you carry their love within you every day.

"Lady Vigga was wrong about many things, but about this in particular: not everything is about politics; and in times such as these where grief has its claws on us all, it is more important than ever to cling to love." 

Tears stung Dania's eyes, and she knew Lady Adis would have understood — perhaps even more than she did herself — but they were in a crowded space; the last thing Dania wanted was to give these people more cause to stare at her. 

"Are you alright, Dania?" spoke the deep voice she knew so well and loved dearly. 

She curtsied before nodding, but he could read her eyes better than anyone. Concern marked his features as his mother spoke, but neither of them was really listening. All Dania could think of was the conspiring looks Ester and Lady Inger had shared earlier. Don't let them take you from me, she begged him wordlessly. 

"Thorin, love, are you listening to me?" Lady Adis said, causing both Dania and Thorin to blush. 

"Sorry, amad, I have a lot on my mind," Thorin said as he tore his gaze away from Dania. "What did you say?" 

Lady Adis stared at him for a moment before speaking. "I asked you if all was well? I have not seen your father anywhere." 

"Yes, all is well. There are still many things to discuss, but, so far, we have struck a good deal with Lord Yngvi. Father is still with Nar and Master Mimir; I imagine they were finalizing some arrangements with Lord Yngvi." 

Dis and Vili reappeared at that moment. Dania frowned as Dis looked at her brother for a moment, then at her, a guilty expression on her face.

"Are you coming to the feast tonight, Dania?" Thorin asked her. She could not read his mind, but it seemed to her as though he was deliberately avoiding his sister's eyes. 

"Yes, I am, Lord Thorin," she replied. 

"Speaking of which," Dis interjected, "we should go and get ready, don't you think?" she asked her. 

"Yes, I suppose," Dania said hesitantly. She barely had time to curtsy to Thorin and the queen and give Vili a small smile before Dis dragged her away from the crowd. 

They scurried along the path just outside the gates, passed by the guards, and cut across the encampment until they entered their tent. 

"Mahal, what's your hurry?" Dania said breathlessly as Dis started pacing in the small space between the two makeshift beds. 

"Oh, Dania I'm sorry — so sorry — I didn't think — I thought it would not matter — but of course it does; you told me it was a secret — "

The world froze around Dania. "What?" 

"Thorin already chastised me for it so," — she waved her hands in the air in defence — "there's no need to do it again. It is only that — well, we are going to be married, I should not keep secrets from him. But then Thorin went on and on about how it was not my secret but yours and — "

"You told Vili," Dania said with a relieved sigh. 

"Yes and — "

"Well, start with that next time! You had me worried!"

It was Dis' turn to freeze. "You mean — you mean you are not mad?" 

Dania did not know what she was feeling. How had Vili reacted? He certainly had not taken the first opportunity to divulge the secret to King Thrain — and she doubted he ever would — yet instead of being relieved — if not outright happy — that someone else knew of their love for each other and was not repulsed by it, Dania felt even more dejected. 

Judging by the bits and pieces of information she had gathered, Thorin did not seem overjoyed that Vili knew their secret. She knew how important it was for them to take their time before they could try and convince their kin of the viability of their union and the strength of their bond, but this was Vili, not the whole council chamber. Yet letting even one person know, someone they knew well, and that would soon be part of his family, appeared to Thorin as one stroke too many on the battered barrier that protected their shared heart.  That only reminded Dania of how little they could trust anyone with their secret, and by extension, just how fanciful was the idea of their parents blessing their union.

But Dania was not mad. Despite her befuddled thoughts, despite how much she wanted to scream at Mahal for placing the other half of her soul so close to her yet so beyond her reach, that foolish and naive part of her mind was glad that Vili knew. He was her friend, and he would soon be her best friend's husband. It felt . . . right for him to know. 

Shaking her head, Dania frowned. "No it's — it's Vili. I trust him. You trust him." 

"Thank Mahal," Dis exclaimed, relief flooding her every word. Dania wished she could feel the same relief. 

Dania let herself fall onto her makeshift bed. They were silent for a while before Dis sat down beside her, their knees touching, and she gently grabbed her hand. 

"Amad was right, Dania," she said. "Don't listen to what Lady Vigga says." 

Bitting her lips as a cascade of emotions climbed up her throat, Dania shrugged. "But Dis — she was right. Whoever Thorin marries one day, she'll be a queen — "

"You mean you will be — "

"Dis — " Dania said breathlessly, shaking her head. She opened her mouth to speak but then resigned herself to the fact that she knew not how to translate her feelings into words. "I don't want to talk about this for now, alright? Let's just get ready for the feast."

***

The dining room was even more imposing than the sitting room they had visited earlier. Columns and complex geometric patterns were carved directly into the stone walls and had been polished so skilfully that they shone like marble. Most remarkable were the blue streaks of colour that gave these mountains their name gleaming in the candlelight, rippling through the stones like the waves Dania had once admired on the Long Lake.

Dozens of early Spring flowers and candles decorated the long stone table; an effort made to make the guests feel welcomed, but all it did was make them feel slightly out of place. Dania knew this was not just her own impression. Dis had not let go of her arm since they had walked inside, except to let Dania curtsy.

When the doors opened to reveal Lady Vigga, holding onto Lord Yngvi's arm, all Dania wanted to do was shrink up and disappear, but she was already at the back of the room, and no one paid her any mind. Lady Vigga looked even more imposing than she had a few hours before. She wore purple this time, and the cuffs and neckline of her gown were adorned with golden embroidery that matched the ornamental belt at her waist, attached with a large clasp bearing the sigil of the Firebeards.

Despite having had the chance to discard her travel-worn dress and don her only other gown, which Lady Adis had a seamstress restore to a suitable state, the other Dwarrows' fine attire intimidated Dania. She should have known better than to feel this way. With everything that had befallen them in the past year, fabrics and accoutrements should have been the least of her worries, but they became one of the many things that reminded her that she simply did not belong to this life. Her gown was a dull ash grey where the Dwarrows around her wore bright fabrics, embroidered and bejewelled, and her braids were plain compared to the precious beads that adorned their hair and beards. Even Dis was not so richly dressed, for they could not afford it, but then again, the princess did not require such embellishments to appear more elegant and regal than all the people in this room. Something in her countenance spoke more about her status than any jewel ever could.  

"There you are!" 

Dania and Dis turned around to see Ester, Nal, and Illiana walking towards them. They all wore their prettiest gowns, but only Ester looked like she belonged with the Firebeard ladies. Dania wondered how Ester could wear such expensive fabrics and so many jewels and not feel guilty when most of them had barely had anything to eat during their journey from Dunland. 

"Oh, Dis, you look beautiful!" Ester said. Then, without giving anyone else the chance to speak, she asked, "is your brother here?" 

Dis' hold on Dania's arm tightened. "Er — well, if he is not, he should be here any minute," the princess said. 

"Ester has been talking about him our whole way here," Nal said teasingly. "I do not think I could stand another minute of it!" Me neither, Dania thought. 

"Look, there's Dwalin!" Dis said in an attempt to change the topic. Something flickered in Ester's eyes, but she looked away, perhaps to appear uninterested or perhaps because she truly was indifferent to the warrior's presence. Dania was having more and more trouble understanding her motives. But then she remembered the look in Lady Inger's eyes, and she realized that it was possible that a union with Thorin was not something Ester wanted but that her parents wanted for her. Dania did not know which of these two scenarios bothered her more. 

Illiana was talking about Lady Vigga's offer to give them a tour of the Hall the next day when Dania's attention was stolen by a group of people entering the room, or rather, by one Dwarf in particular. Thorin was standing next to his father and mother, along with Balin, Nar, and Mimir, looking as handsome as ever. His hair appeared to have been freshly washed and braided, and he was dressed in the deep blue tunic he usually wore to such occasions. The colours were more faded than Dania remembered, but nothing could affect the majesty of his presence. 

As she slowly made her way toward her father, Thorin's eyes met her own, conjuring a deep blush from her cheeks. When she was finally close enough to the group, she curtsied, then grabbed the arm her father was extending toward her, but all she could think of was escaping this room to be alone with Thorin and feel his soft lips scorching her skin. As though he could hear her most improper thoughts, the corner of his lips curled up in a smile. That only made the heat inside Dania grow. Damn that Dwarf!

She was glad when they finally took their seats, if only because it might be easier for her to control herself while they sat at different tables. Mimir led her to a table near the main one where the king and his family were sitting with Lord Ygnvi and his wife, so Dania could still see Thorin quite clearly, but she forced herself not to look, or at least, not look as often as she wished to. Her father sat on her right and immediately began conversing with one of Lord Yngvi's advisors while she turned to another young Dwarf who had just pulled up her chair. 

"Oh, thank you," Dania said, startled by his kindness. 

"Not at all," he said with a warm smile before sitting down. "My name is Airi." 

Dania bowed her head in reverence. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Master Airi. I am Dania."

"Airi will do; not Master Airi," he said with a chuckle. "And the pleasure is all mine, Lady Dania."

It was Dania's turn to chuckle. "I am no Lady."

"Really? Well, you have the countenance of one," Airi replied.

Blushing, Dania looked away, only to find Thorin staring at her through the many people separating them. He looked at her questioningly, but she could do nothing but give a short, almost imperceptible nod and tear her gaze away from him. 

Dania had not thought she could be more confounded by her surroundings until the food was served. There was chicken, roast beef, and sausages, too many kinds of cheese to choose from, freshly baked bread, roasted potatoes, and enough wine to drown in. She had not seen this much food in years. 

"Have you been enjoying your stay in the Blue Mountains so far?" Airi asked her as she delved into the dishes. One taste of the potatoes was enough to convince her to fill her entire plate with them. 

Dania thought of her afternoon with Lady Vigga, but the delicious taste of the wine made her nod in response. "Yes, it is lovely here."

"Have you had a chance to take a tour of the Hall?" Airi asked. 

"No yet, I am afraid," Dania said. 

"It would be my honour to accompany you around the place."

"I would be honoured, whenever that may be," Dania replied as she took another mouthful of sausages. 

"Well, there should be plenty of time for that, given that you will be staying here for a while, I gather," Airi said. "I am certain there are many things that would interest you. The ballroom for one — "

"Is there a library?" Dania asked before she could stop and think twice about interrupting him. She needed to look for other plants to help with her . . . problem, and a library was the place she would find information.

"Yes, of course there is. I could show you, if you would like," he said with a smile. 

"I would like that very much," Dania replied in the same tone. 

"What would you like?" Dania's father asked as he leaned in toward her. 

"I was just telling your daughter that I would be more than happy to accompany her to the library, Master Mimir," Airi explained. 

"You know my father?" Dania asked. 

"I was at the council meeting today," Airi said, nodding. 

Dania turned to her father. "Yes, about that — How did it go?" 

"Quite well, I would say, given the king's fixed ambition." He spoke using courtly equivocations to avoid being misunderstood by overeager ears, but Dania knew he was talking of Lord Thrain's hurry to marry Dis to Vili. "Besides, the important thing is that Lord Ygnvi will lend us a hand when we are ready to make our way further South along the mountains. And he has extended his hospitality so that those who are not fit to travel may stay behind in the meantime."

Dania knew that "those not fit to travel" probably included Dwarrows, meaning she would have to stay behind while Thorin left with his father's chosen companions, for Mahal knows how long. The thought left a bittersweet taste in her mouth. 

"You will have plenty of things to do while we are gone," Mimir said as he noted the slight frown on her face. "There is also much to look forward to before that moment is upon us. Do not fret, gehyith."

Dania gave her father a small smile to ease his worries, but she stopped listening to what her table companions were saying. Glancing up toward Thorin, she saw that he was now conversing with Ester and a Dwarf Dania recognized as her father. They were standing next to the seat Thorin had just vacated to greet them, and she was smiling and laughing at every little thing he said. Somehow, Ester looked even prettier than she usually did. Grinding her teeth, Dania tried to look away, but it was as though an invisible hand was holding her head in place, forcing her to watch as her heart was slowly being ripped away from her. Don't let them take you from me. 

When the desserts were served, she regained some of her spirits — that was the power of a perfect trifle — but her mind was still preoccupied with Thorin and the dismay the thought of their separation was causing her. Mimir noticed his daughter's change of mood, and as soon as the first opportunity presented itself, he excused them and led her toward the exit. Dania was both thankful for and annoyed by this gesture, for now, she would not even be able to steal a glance at Thorin, who would undoubtedly be stuck at the feast for at least another hour. 

Before stepping out of the room, Dania daringly glanced back to the main table, and she noticed Thorin staring back at her, evidently not listening to a word Ester was saying. Even from this distance, she recognized the fiery look he was giving her, full of promises for their next secret meeting. Perhaps her father was right; she did have much to look forward to. 

[yerevasunclair]

To court u seems tudor time period :-?

To court you is actually Westeros setting! Its Ned&Cat in the early days of their marriage and Catelyn is jealous of Ned’s heart tree.

TO COURT YOU

“Where are you going, my lord?” Catelyn asked politely with a tender smile. She may be his wife but they were essentially strangers still. It was easy for them to perform all aspects of their duties yet it was puzzling and challenging for her to be a closer friend to him. Why was he so hard to get to know to? Nan had told her Ned was a shy and quiet lad but this introversion wasn’t just a nature. To her interpretation, it was clear he did not want to share any part of him to her. Yet even with the absence of romantic interest, she felt this desperate need to obtain more intimacy, a deeper connection with him, which has to be fulfilled.

“I will pray at the godswood, my lady.” He said with formality.

Going to the godswood meant that he was not to be disturbed unless if there is an urgent matter or some important news brought by a raven. The people of the North have no book of prayers and she still poorly understood their religion.

Does he really go to the godswood to pray to his gods for them to calm the storm in his mind? Or does he avoid her and call for the comfort of that dead lover’s soul to come to him under the leaves of his heart tree? To tell her that he keeps his promise day by day to rear their son with the surname Snow without regard for his honor, despite that it has shamed her so? Is she so lacking that she is unable to comfort him and help him release his burdens in any way?

“Then I will wait for you. At Robb’s room, or in our chambers, your solar or the main hall…”

“You wish to speak something important with me?”

“Important?” she sighed annoyingly. “It’s not really anything of utmost importance, my lord. It’s just that… I had thought we could talk about anything else under the sun. Allow me to speak my mind, my lord but must a conversation with you need to entail something so important? Why can we barely have a casual talk? Why can’t I get to know more of you, Ned? While I deeply respect your religion, I do not understand why you have to remain so many hours with your heart tree when you do not have long prayers to recite like I do with the Seven. I do not just want to speak to you of political matters or any responsibilities. I just wish we could spend more leisure time, you and I, without Robb.” 

She prattled on to express all of her frustrations and she regretted it as soon as she finished expressing her point. Why had she said all those things? It was very demanding of her, which should never be. She had no right. She was supposed to do her duty, as the lady of Winterfell and his wife who should bear him more sons to carry on with the Stark legacy.  She was aware that they did not love each other. Perhaps, he’ll never learn to give his heart to her even after living together in this household for so many years. Yet she wouldn’t wish for her little Robb to have very distant parents. She had grown up blessed with such loving parents herself.

“I thought you would only wish to speak with me if it’s of any significance.” 

“Then it’s clear that we misunderstand each other mostly my lord and the root cause of it is that I am honestly intimidated by your silence. I confess that I find your it so disconcerting when you rarely speak because one thing I should remind you of is that I’m not a mind reader. I can’t always figure out what you are thinking or correctly construe your every gaze and gesture. I can count the few times when we truly had an enjoyable conversation, which only happened so fast and shortly when we shared playtime with Robb.” 

We never even talk in my bed after I let you enter into my body, satisfy your urge and get me with child. How am I supposed to know you if you avoid me this much?

She had accepted that her romantic fantasies had long died with Brandon. But missing her father and mother, thinking about all the wisdom they had given her about family, duty, honor and even marriage, she can’t help but to persist living up to the same expectations. 

Yes, I admit it. I want to be your best friend, Ned. Then as time would pass, you might learn to passionately love me just as much as you loved her. As for me, I have mourned enough for my beloved Brandon. Must we both remain in sorrow yearning for the love that we lost to come back to life? We can never have them back. I am your wife and you are my husband. I want to be loved the same way my father immensely loved my mother and I wish to give the same greatness of love to a good man and husband. I wish to fulfill my true happiness in you. Is that so impossible?

“I am very sorry. I do not mean to be such a quiet person”, he tilts his head down and continues, 

“I know it is a flaw on my part and I am glad you brought such concern to my attention. I was not aware that I had already made you so uncomfortable. It is the cold we have been born in that freezes our throats that make us men in the North utter such little words. As for spending spare time with you, I definitely would like to only if you ask it of me, if I do not intrude and I am welcome.”  

“You would always be welcome if you ask. But since you don’t want to ask then I will. So I will ask again, since we are no longer occupied by the day’s work, can we have some recreational time after your devotions, my lord?”

“Yes, my lady.” He bows his head with obedience. “Yet I have just realized and decided that I will pursue my devotions later or on another day. I now remember that there is something else that I want to show you.”

“And what would that be?” she started to become curious and a wee bit excited.

“Come with me first, Cat.” he managed to smile, but only in a twitch. It would be nice if he would smile and call her Cat more often. 

Ned had led the way. Winterfell was so vast and she had only lived in it for a nearly two years, but still she tends to lose track enough to pause along the middle of the path, or require further guidance of direction. She was behind for about two steps but he slowed down his walking so she could catch up to him and they would stand side by side. 

They arrived at a wide, circular area of empty ground with vines that crept the walls of the right tower and a few lemon trees that lined on the left side. It was a snowy summer, but the sunlight had crept from the clouds to illuminate this spot. 

“Since we are already here, I am going to tell you that I plan to build a Sept for you.” he said to her directly. 

“A Sept? For me?” She repeated to confirm if she had heard him. 

“Yes. Although, I am not certain how you would want your Sept to look like and so I’ve commissioned a southerner to design it but I think it best, that instead of surprising you, you should cooperate to implement your own standards for its structure.”

“Will it not offend the Northerners? A Sept for the new gods built within the territory of the old gods?” 

“It is intended for you, their highly respected lady. They would allow the establishment of this Sept, in high regard of you. As for the Old gods, they are not conquering gods. I respect your religion as much as you respect mine and therefore you shall have a proper place of worship like I have my godswood.” 

“I am most grateful, my lord.” She almost burst into tears out of overwhelming happiness for this gift. She fell speechless and anticipated for him to express his reasons why he was doing this for her. The next unexpected words would move her even more. 

“I would also acknowledge that I built this Sept because this is my manner of courting you, Cat. I want to get to know you deeper as well and I never thought you felt the same way until today.”

My lord husband wishes to court me to get to know me. What took you this long, Ned?

“We never had a proper courtship unlike you had with my brother Brandon. We had suddenly married at war and so soon after his death…. I…I have kept my distance to immerse myself in meditation because I still grieve for my family and I ought to give you time and space to grieve for him just as much. ”

So this is what it’s all about. You do not wish to get close to me because you believe I am still in love with Brandon. 

“My bereavement has long been spent.” she swallowed on her throat and focused her gaze upon him to prevent the horrid memories from returning to her consciousness. She then instantly remembered the foolishness she had done to distract him away from the heart tree she was secretly jealous of. 

“Forgive me for what I mentioned a while ago. It was inconsiderate of me to rebuke you of for your long period of prayer. I understand that you are still healing from all the tragedy that came upon you.” 

“There is nothing to apologize for. I thank you for your understanding.” he said softly. She could perceive the sadness in his voice and in his eyes. They would keep on praying for the souls of their dead loved ones. She would pray for Brandon’s but she will not live her entire life loving him. It would not make her happy to keep on wishing he were here with her. 

“We have both been through sufferings and we have no choice but to mend and live on. Yet I should have been wiser to also understand that different people undergo the phases of grief differently. As for courting me, I am very touched. I never imagined you would do it in this creative and benevolent fashion. It’s so sweet of you, Ned.” She could not hold herself back and so she took his pale hands. She pressed them to warm them, to let him feel she is reaching out to him. 

“You love it? That pleases me so.” He grinned as he clasped both of their hands together and stepped closer to her. “I hope to court you day by day as I build your Sept stone by stone.”

“From this day on I welcome your courtship, my lord. If this is the start of us forging our marriage, slowly and steadily, then I say yes to that.” She vowed as she looked up to his endearing, precious face that told her he is so eager to win her heart. What happened today, the present that was not bought but is yet to be formed was a sacred promise they truly intended.

I think I love him now. But I pray for it to even grow stronger. 

“Yes.” he gently tilted her face and planted a lingering kiss on her forehead. He loved her and he had bravely laid the first rock on the ground. 

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

if prue had met paige how would they get along and what do you think would happen? and do you think they have any similarities? I would love your full meta on this

Honestly, anon, I’ve thought about this a lot over the years and I still struggle to imagine what would’ve happened if Prue and Paige had met and what their relationship would’ve been like. There are so many possibilities and factors to take into consideration. If you ask me on another day, you might even get a different response, but here are my thoughts on this topic.

If Piper had died instead of Prue in All Hell Breaks Loose and season 4 started in the exact same way, I think Prue would’ve reacted to Paige the same way as Piper did. Recently, I’ve become more and more aware of the ways that Piper was turned into Prue 2.0 from season 4 onwards and this is what demonstrates it most for me. Piper’s reaction to losing Prue and finding Paige is exactly how I’d imagine Prue’s would be. The only difference is that Prue would’ve been worse. As the eldest sister, Prue felt it was her solemn duty to protect her sisters. She shouldered the burden of responsibility and was devoted to keeping them safe. If either one of them had died on her watch, the damage it would’ve done to her would’ve been irreparable. Prue would not have been grief stricken,  she’d feel like she’d failed, that it was her fault and she would’ve been adamant that she was going to do something to bring Piper back, no matter the cost. If that failed, she’d turn her attention to revenge. All of this would’ve made it very difficult, if not impossible, for Prue to accept Paige or even remotely open herself up to the possibility of having another sister. Prue would be enraged - at the injustice of Piper’s death, at herself for failing Piper, at Leo for not being able to heal Piper, at the Elders for not doing more and at Penny and Patty for lying to her about Paige her entire life. Her emotions would be overwhelming and because of her stubbornness, it would most likely take her longer to push past that than it did for Piper. The one thing that would bring Prue around to Paige would be her being in danger. Knowing that The Source/Shax was after Paige would make Prue determined to stop him. That’d most likely result in a transference, whereby her anger and grief became an unhealthy obsession with hunting Shax down and killing him for revenge. I could really see Prue going completely rogue like Leo in season 6 with Gideon. She would stop at nothing to avenge Piper’s death.

Prue’s resistance to Paige wouldn’t be because of Paige, it would be because of herself - because of her grief and identity crisis as the eldest sister. But I think once she started to accept Piper’s death, she would’ve gone in the complete opposite direction and embraced Paige fiercely to overcompensate for the loss of Piper. This would involve her taking Paige under her wing, being overly protective, teaching her about the craft and acknowledging that Paige was an innocent. Paige would be Prue’s second chance in a sense - a chance to be the eldest sister again and to forge an eldest-youngest sibling relationship more positive than the one she had with Phoebe. Prue’s growth and foresight from her experiences with Phoebe would allow her to be more patient and understanding regarding Paige’s recklessness and impulsivity. It would also improve her relationship with Phoebe because she’d turn to Phoebe for advice and guidance, and to keep her grounded. Phoebe would fulfil that middle sister role perfectly. I think Paige’s inferiority complex with Prue in canon would’ve transformed into her viewing Prue as a role model if Prue had survived. Prue’s natural flair and dedication to witchcraft would’ve inspired Paige and allowed her to develop her skills and powers at an even faster and greater extent than she did in canon. There’d definitely be a power struggle between them, particularly in the early days, because both of them are stubborn and independent. In the original dynamic, Prue was used to having control and making decisions for the group, but Paige wasn’t the sort of person to sit back and take orders. Overall, I think the two of them would’ve butted heads a lot and had a very rocky start, but eventually it would evolve into a beautiful dynamic. Prue would’ve taken more time to guide Paige, not just as a witch but as a person. In season 4, Paige was a lost soul. She was an orphan without a family, she was working a job that she believed in but wasn’t satisfied with and she had a lot of ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ going on. Prue would’ve helped her with this. Furthermore, their similar personalities and approaches would instil them with a mutual respect and understanding, whilst their strength and dedication to witchcraft would lead them to be a powerhouse duo.

Regarding their similarities, Prue and Paige’s main similarity was their perspective on magic. They saw their duties as witches as important and they were devoted to saving innocents. Prue and Paige considered being a witch a proper job as much as any other traditional job. They always went that step further in practising or perfecting their craft, and never wished away their powers or perceived magic as a burden. They were also both incredibly strong willed and operated on their gut instincts, which were nearly always right. They had a creative streak - Paige with painting and Prue with photography - and this is something that would bond them. Prue and Paige were also the two sisters out of the four that felt the least traditional. By which I mean they never seemed as concerned with motherhood or marriage as Piper and Phoebe did. They were more driven by their careers and being a witch (and/or whitelighter in Paige’s case). I’d also say that Prue and Paige were natural leaders. Their drive, determination and skill when it came to witchcraft meant they were full of ideas and actively thrived on their work as witches. Both also had the confidence, intelligence, power and empathy to take the lead. Obviously, this is the one similarity that would’ve caused tension between them as they grappled to be the leader. However, I think it would’ve led to growth for both of them. Prue would’ve learned to let go a little more and to trust Paige to take over, and Paige would’ve learned to respect that although she had ideas and drive, Prue was the more experienced and wiser sister.

Overall, Prue and Paige are a complex dynamic to analyse because it’s all based on guess work. The fact that I feel like I know both characters quite well does help to some extent, but not enough. However, I think if you look to Piper and Paige’s relationship you’ll see almost a carbon copy of what Prue and Paige’s relationship would’ve looked like. That’s really because the sister dynamics on Charmed aren’t shaped by the characters personalities as much as they are by the sister hierarchy. Allow me to explain.

There are two main sister groupings:

1. Prue, Piper and Phoebe 2. Piper, Phoebe and Paige

Within these two groupings there are always 3 sister pairings: eldest-middle, eldest-youngest, middle-youngest. Now let’s look at the pairings that fall under these headings and compare.

Eldest-middle

Prue and Piper

Piper and Phoebe

Both dynamics are characterised by mutual love and understanding. These two pairings get on very well - their relationships are loving, affectionate and are best friends as well as sisters. The eldest has a level of responsibility and burden that comes from being the eldest, that only the middle sister can fully appreciate and understand. The middle sister is fully allied with the eldest and supportive of what they do and how they do it. This leads the eldest sister to lean on the middle sister to be in her corner and to keep her grounded. For the eldest sister, the middle sister represents consistency - somebody who will always be there. The eldest sister feels protective about the middle sister whom they feel a deep bond to and at various points the eldest sister feels she has let down the middle sister in her duty to protect her (1. Prue lets Piper down in Coyote Piper and 2. Piper lets Phoebe down in Queen of the Underworld). Overall, the eldest-middle dynamic is a plain sailing dynamic of two best friends who are extremely close and rely upon each other.

Eldest-youngest

Prue and Phoebe

Piper and Paige

Both dynamics are characterised by an initial clash of personalities and power struggle. The eldest struggles with the youngest’s recklessness and lack of responsibility. The youngest finds the eldest judgemental, mean and too serious. As a result, the eldest sister chastises the youngest sister, pushing the youngest sister further away, making her want to rebel and go off on her own. Nonetheless, despite surface level disdain, the eldest sister is fiercely protective of the youngest and the youngest seeks the eldest’s approval and respects them immensely. Tensions prevail between the two; they disagree on how to approach situations and struggle to work together without clashing. However, over time, the eldest and youngest are able to push their differences aside, empathise, develop patience and appreciate the other sister for how she is different to herself.

Middle-youngest

Piper and Phoebe

Phoebe and Paige

Similar to the eldest-middle, this relationship is one between friends. However, it operates on the basis that the middle sister understands the youngest sister where the eldest one fails. The middle sister probably finds the youngest sister’s naivety irritating at times, but mostly they find it endearing and accept them for who they are. The middle sister strives to bridge the gap between the eldest and youngest, as a result the youngest relies on the middle sister as her greatest ally. If the youngest sister is in a tight spot, she will turn to the middle sister for non-judgemental support and advice.

So you see, the sister dynamics follow this same formula no matter who happens to be in the duo. The nuances of these sister relationships do differ, but the foundation of them is rooted in these outlines which were established by Constance M. Burge when she first created the show. Therefore, Prue and Paige would fall into the eldest-youngest and have a similar dynamic to Piper and Paige or Prue and Phoebe. Although I personally believe Piper and Paige is more reflective of the relationship Prue and Paige would’ve had, particularly in the beginning.

[thirdmagic]

i was going through some files and stuff and found a profile and my room lines for an older david alt i wrote up around two years ago, and i read it over and decided that i still like it so i’m going to dump this here and run away

My Room Lines

1 There is only one, in this world or any other, who I truly serve. Oh, but don't take this to mean you don't have my full cooperation. Rather, it would be more suitable for you to treat me as I were a general in your army, or a military advisor, more than a Servant. I would be more useful to you this way, rather than a single individual solider.'

2 For you, the leader of your army, to be staying in your room, bored, while your troops go off to work and make war... Master, such situations never lead to anything good, you know? It's a terrible waste of valuable time. Come, now, let's be off. There is a great deal to be done.

3 This is quite the role reversal for me, actually. You're like me in life; the head of a great and powerful army, and me, a soldier in the midst of the battlefield that you survey. It seems I've taken the role of your Joab, in fact... perhaps in the end I'm really meant to serve much more than to lead.

4 I will serve you, of course, to the best of my abilities. But I have no intent to stay silent, or go along with it blindly, if you act incorrectly. ... Of course, I do not expect you to act flawlessly at all times, either-- in your position, one often has to make difficult choices. Just keep it in mind.

5 (Archer David) Yes, yes, I know that other me is here. Please, don't remind me. Honestly... what's he doing, that stupid old man? Running around in the body of our younger self... does he miss our youth so much he's trying to recreate it? Delusional old pervert, that's what he is... don't trust him, Master. That he is a useless, frivolous slacker makes him seem harmless, but he's much worse! He's cunning and duplicitous and-- why are you laughing?

6 (Sheba) Ah, this woman-- I know of her. As a fellow monarch like her, and her rival, I respect her. As Solomon's father, I am wary of her, and hope she did not lead his heart astray. There will be some time before I can accept her into the family. Though, that said, if this is any indication of his taste in women-- well, now! Not bad at all.

7 (Avicebron) A great poet and philosopher, and a wise man. But one whose soul was deeply troubled, and who struggles with actions that have soiled his hands. But I won't disrespect him with my pity. All I can say is that I understand. True wisdom, after all, brings the heart a great deal of trouble.

(Bonus: I wrote this profile way before Atlantis/Olympus happened so I guess these don’t really work now but) 

8 (Solomon) ...  Master. For both our sakes. Please, do not urge me any more to talk to the boy. I realize you mean well, but nothing good will come of it. More than for myself, I've no doubt he'd rather I keep my distance. There is no room for me to interfere in his new life. -- And that's all I have to say on this topic.

9 (Goetia) So this is the... ah, creature? Who possessed my son's body and went around doing all sorts of undignified things in it to ruin his reputation... Hm? Why am I not angry over the attempted incineration of humanity? Well, I'm a little cross over that, but as long as he understands and takes responsibility for these actions, it's fine. It's not for me to judge him. But the other thing is just disrespectful and irresponsible! To mar Solomon's good name with actions he didn't even commit!

Likes Good food, good drink, and a warm, comfortable bed. Even though I am a spirit now who has no need of them, it's such simple, physical needs that are all I need to be satisfied. ... Oh, what other physical needs I enjoy? Haha! Now, that's something I'll tell you about when you're older.

Dislikes There once was a certain man who served me. A skilled and strong warrior whose resourcefulness and cunning I relied upon, and he, giving in to his bloodlust and self-interest, had betrayed me. You do not need to know the details, but I cannot and will never forgive him, and so, swear you one thing: that I will never act towards you as he did towards me.

Holy Grail I have no single wish, but I do have things I desire. None of these are things I would ever ask of the Grail, however. Many of these things are... just daydreams, and the rest are meaningless if I don't achieve them on my own.

Event I've heard that you've landed upon a rare opportunity; don't waste it. We must go see to it at once, Master.

Summon Ruler-Class Servant, David. I have answered your summons. Now, then, we have no time to waste. You have an important task ahead of you, and my intent is to ensure it comes to completion.

Bond

1 Hm. You're a fair bit more young than what I'd expected of the last remaining Master tasked with the world's salvation... I mean, in this era, it's unusual for people your age to take upon such heavily responsibilities, isn't it? Yes, you clearly require all the assistance I can provide.

2 You know, even if I was a king in life, you needn't treat me now as if that were still the case. After all, I have no country to rule over. Before I am a king and before I am a heroic spirit, I am a mere instrument of the Lord's will. And now, I fulfill my duty in this world by aiding in your cause.

3 You're like me, aren't you, Master? A young person, perfectly average, perfectly humble, thrust into the hands of destiny and put into an overwhelming role of massive responsibility. I said you're young, but truth is... I misjudged you. Whatever child you were once is gone. When I look at you, I see the eyes of a soldier, one worthy of being called a true warrior. How do you feel about it, I wonder? Are you angry? Sad? Frustrated? Does it pain you? I see you keep fighting, but is it with reluctance, or do you humbly accept that responsibility and put personal feelings aside, whatever they may be?

4 I apologize for my callous remarks earlier, Master. Oh, don't misunderstand me. I meant what I said. But I should not have been so callous and spoken so freely, and-- well, maybe I was really thinking of myself more than you. But what I said of you as a soldier and a warrior was the truth. You should take pride in your journey and all you've done to this point. As a Master, you have nothing but my respect and loyalty.

5 Master, do you know what makes a Ruler, in this system? Not simply a saint. An impartial, just person who can cast true judgment and perform their duty with no personal desires to get in the way. Don't you find it strange? To cast in this role a hedonistic king such as I, I who have fallen to my personal desires at the expense of my duty? And yet the generations after me, the world itself, all depict me as a righteous and pure man, an impartial judge. That is the man is who they all know me as. It's ironic. It's so ironic I don't know if to laugh or cry. But you know, I should like to do my best to be this sort of person, if I am to honor my descendants as they have honored me.

Profile

Default King David prefers to be summoned in the form of the young shepherd he was when he defeated Goliath, but here he's been summoned from the prime of his life the King of Israel. A great and powerful king who has brought about peace and prosperity through years of conquest and war, he has accomplished much within his reign.

Bond 1 Height & Weight: idk, taller than archer david, less twinky though, higher weight too Series: FGO original Source: The Bible Region: Israel Alignment: Lawful Neutral Gender: Male The skill 'Harp Of Healing' has been lost permanently in this form.

Bond 2

A brutal warrior and an eloquent poet. A just idealist, and a ruthless, coldblooded pragmatist. A dutiful king, devoted to God above all else, and yet a hedonist weak to material comforts and attractive women. A shrewd and cunning businessman who's always attentive to all goings-on around him, and an unfocused slacker who would happily spend all day up to afternoon lazing off in bed. Such is the sort King that the shepherd boy David became; a man full of many such contradictory traits coexisting within him. The earnest shepherd boy who defeated Goliath has since matured and wizened into an experienced warrior and become a true king, and with it, it seems as if his heart has hardened. His personality is aloof and distant, and rarely does he show anything of the carefree, friendly shepherd he prefers to be summoned as.  

Bond 3

Among David's many actions as king, one of the most famous would be the incident of his adultery with Bathsheba, wife of Uriah of Hittite.

In order to cover up their affair and Bathsheba's resulting pregnancy, David attempted to persuade Uriah to lay with her again after returning from war. Upon failing, he would order his men to leave Uriah behind to be killed in the battlefield. 

For this crime, David's family would have a divine curse placed upon it. Much of his later life would be marked by tragedy.

The child Bathsheba conceived from their affair died after only a few days, and his son Amnon would sexually assault his half-sister Tamar. In revenge, Tamar's full brother Absalom would conspire with his fellows to kill Amnon, and this act would have him be exiled by David in his grief. 

He would return only to lead a rebellion and attempt to usurp the crown, which drove his father out with his armies for three years, and in the final battle to retake the throne, he was killed by Joab, the commander of David's army and his right hand man, against David's explicit orders to spare him.

Bond 4

The Lord's Anointed A

A form of Charisma that applies the skill of Divine Protection towards the leader's army and allies. The skill of Divine Protection has been lost to this David when he had a divine curse placed upon him, but in exchange the protection can be applied to all allies outside of his blood family.

Curse On The House Of David EX

A crystallization of the curse placed upon David's family line directly by God. An embodiment of the path of bloodshed that has led to much success and victory as a ruler, yet a great deal of personal loss. The Servant container allows him to re-purpose this curse into a lethal weapon; the amount of power it grants him correlates to the damage it also automatically inflicts upon him, though the limit is that it cannot exceed what he himself cannot survive and it will ensure to keep him alive.

David himself, for his part, does not consider the self-inflicted damage neither penance nor some form of terrible suffering; rather, he stoically accepts it as a natural, unavoidable consequence.

Bond 5

Sacrifice NP description, too lazy to copypaste

Interlude

It's impossible to get any true answers about his feelings on the best of times. He finds is as difficult to understand his own heart as he does the hearts of others, and any moment he allows himself to be truly open only ever comes on his own choice and his own terms, often with great reluctance even then. Any question of his feelings that he does not want to speak of will be met with a distant, emotionless non-answer through which only a little bit of the truth slips through the cracks.

But it perhaps speaks of a certain immaturity still remaining that he is quick to express his emotions very openly and loudly the moment he does choose to open up. In spite of how he looks, he's actually very earnest and sensitive, and cries easily when upset. He'll talk about his feelings very beautifully and poetically in the heat of the moment, and afterwards go right back to closing himself off completely again and pretend nothing happened.

This all makes him sound terribly troublesome, but he's a loyal, dedicated Servant to any Master he finds worthy. It's not difficult to win his appreciation and respect so long as the Master is genuine and does their best to be righteous-- it's his full trust that's another matter entirely.