#doesn’t show anything beyond the very abstract

[gothic-chicanery]

I just realized if I want to write about Oppenheimer for my final paper for my west class I probably have to rewatch it and it is So Damn Long. I’m also writing about it in comparison to a production I saw of Doctor atomic (the Oppenheimer opera (yes there’s an Oppenheimer opera)) but that will be a little bit easier bc I’m pretty sure no footage exists of that production so like at least I don’t have to rewatch that

[dragonfoxgirl]

My thoughts on Elemental and how one scene spoke to me deeply.

Elemental, aside from its poignant depiction of what it entails to live as a first generation child born of immigrants and the challenges faced related to it, has also seemed to have touched on another subject, maybe accidentally. But, regardless of it’s intentional depiction or not, the movie also touches on the complexity of romantic relationships for people outside the common denominator.

A few days ago, I saw a lot of activity on social media about the movie coming from Aro/Ace people. As an effort to avoid spoiling myself, I skimmed the few posts that showed up in my feed. Now that I have seen the movie, I understand with clarity why it resonated so strongly with these particular communities, despite not being the intended broader target with its messaging.

As a person in the Ace spectrum, as well as someone with Autism, I can testify to the fact that we navigate very different waters in terms of human connection outside our family nucleus.

We hold value on the soul, the personality and the abstract connection that results by having “chemistry” with someone above physical displays of attraction. The same goes for many neurodivergent people. In short terms: It’s a lot harder for us to “touch” and go beyond it. For us, it needs to matter. It needs to be genuine.

In the “touch” scene where Wade and Ember join palms, she hesitates. Ember struggles with allowing herself to try. Wade is calm, patient and understanding of her limitations without holding back his own desire to connect. Showing genuine affection towards her.

When she realizes she can touch him, his contact starts to ground her and she relaxes. Finally allowing herself to fall into his embrace.

They dance and sway and for a few minutes, simply enjoy each other's proximity. What’s been an emotional connection has now been proven to also be able to be present physically. In their own terms, without having to morph it into anything else. It 's genuine. It’s unique and it’s entirely theirs.

To someone like me, who struggles with allowing my walls to come down. To be touched, it’s a beautiful scene. One that displays the yearn many of us have: To connect with someone on such a level. To find the person we can touch without feeling uncomfortable and who accepts and respects the way we are.

To me, modern dating culture expects physical displays of attraction as a genuine demonstration of connection and when you are somebody that doesn’t follow those “rules” you struggle finding the connection you seek.

To see these characters find so much calm and comfort in a simple embrace is a visual testament to what we value. What we seek and hold dear to what constitutes us as a person.

“I’m so lucky” he says while holding her and my heart swells.

It’s like hope and maybe also reassurance. That one day, we will find the person we can allow in. Their touch won’t feel foreign and we’ll not deny ourselves in how we connect with them.

Dragonfoxgirl.

[nightcolorz]

loveee the armand music discussions i feel the need to talk about some of my most armand songs of all time (no mitski this time as we’ve already discussed that ^^)

- notre dame by Paris Paloma (literally any paris paloma song tbh esp the fruits and labour but notre dame isn’t appreciated nearly enough) Very very religious guilt armand, angel symbolism heavy, also very cult era armand in paris. I would put lyrics here but oh its the whole song. its the entire song.

- Abstract (Psychopomp) by Hozier. again impossible to put specific lyrics but the song being about painful memories, getting past traumas with new loves, and heavy symbolism of a hurt animal in the road and the singer feeling kinship with it is just so SO armand imo its impossible to explain. i always think of a deer being the “poor thing in the road” in the song though it is left to interpretation, and armand’s doe eyes very much come to mind with that.

- Spellbound by Siouxsie and the Banshees (Following the footsteps of a rag doll dance, we are entranced, spellbound) Both these lyrics and the intense sound of the song bring to mind Armand’s heavy use of and skill with the spell gift, especially in TVL (for books) and s2ep5 (the show) You do feel entranced by his spells even if you don’t realise it and this song captures it perfectly (also i think S&TB are very armand overall so honourable mentions to Cities in Dust, Arabian Knights and Melt which are all sooo armand as well i just didn’t want to make this so Siouxsie-centric)

- Devils Don’t Fly by Natalia Kills (Angels were never meant to fall, and you were the loveliest of all) This song reminds me so much of 2018 YouTube but oh the lyrics are so very armand. Always called an angel, even referred to it as shorthand, but so torn religiously that he could never be holy, never be more than a demon with what he is and has been through. But being made so young and so beautiful, its very fallen angel of him.

- speaking of angels, Not Strong Enough by boygenuis (Always an angel, never a God, I don’t know why I am the way I am) I don’t feel like i need to explain this one it just Is

- Teen Idle by Marina (I want back my virginity so I can feel infinity, I want to drink until I ache, I want to make a big mistake, I want blood guts and angel cake) & (Adolescence didn’t make sense, a little loss of innocence, the ugly years of being a fool, ain’t youth meant to be beautiful?) Just something about Armand finding his worth through his beauty and physical desire, not to mention the utter horror of having to be a teenager forever, seen as that same sort of obscene beauty forever. The line about drinking and making mistakes feels very Venice-era as well, with Amadeo’s main coping mechanisms being getting blackout drunk on the daily and sleeping with people he knows he shouldn’t because he doesn’t feel like he’s good for anything else or even able to do anything else (which of course also leads to his death eventually)

- Jolene by Dolly Parton (Your beauty is beyond compare, with flaming locks of auburn hair) Definitely sillier but reminds me a lot about how people in the books (especially lestat) wax poetic about how beautiful Armand is and fear it somewhat in a mix of jealousy and insecurity.

- Dominion / Mother Russia by Sisters of Mercy. this one is much more vibe based that lyrical but there is the detail of armand being described as russian in the books and also the lyrics being very repetitive and prayer like (as well as the ‘some say prayers’ line) very much remind me of his repetitive prayers both when young and in the cult

- Swan Upon Leda by Hozier (One more sweet boy to be butchered by men, But the gateway to the world is still outside the reach of them, Would never belong to angels, Had never belonged to men) This song is overall about sexual violence and reproductive rights, but these lyrics deeply remind me of Amadeo’s abuse as a child and young man, and of men feeling a right to him and his body because they found him beautiful, angelic.

I have about a million more but I won’t go on too much. Hope you like my choices and give them a listen if you’re unfamiliar with any (to anyone reading this <3)

AHHHHHHH THANK U FOR THIS IM OBSESSED!!!! GONNA ADD THE ONES THAT ARENT ALREADY ON MY PLAYLIST RNN!!! (I already have got not strong enough, Jolene, devils don’t fly, teen idle, and Notre Dame, we r the same person). U get Armand like no one else mutual kittenbradensgf. Devils don’t fly made me laugh because it’s also on my Armand playlist because 2018 AMV YouTube songs r always so Armand to me 😭 !!! Ur so right the lyrics r so him. angel of darkness is on mine and I can’t stay it’s entirely ironic, lmao. Ugh this is my favorite I’m gonna run in a room and listen to these forever, ur analysis is so good

[parentsday]

I once saw someone say that after Parents Day (the episode, not you), they never really touched on Max’s familial situation again. And while I agree that episodes like With Friends Like These could have paid a little lip service to it (why David just sent Max back home to what he knew were neglectful parents is beyond me, maybe he didn’t think there was anything he could do about it?), it feels to me like one of those things where once you know about it, you start seeing the character in a whole new light. Like you see what Max does in older and newer episodes and you rationalize it as “Oh, I see, he acts that way because his parents neglect him. Stuff like him not knowing how to swim or having a teddy bear when he’s theoretically too old for one.

i agree with you on many of your points and disagree heavily on the use of them you make later on. to start off max is an incredibly dear character to me, like painfully so. if i had the chance to i would love to dissect his head like one of a frog in a lab and see what makes his brain tick in ways it does, and of course one of the reasons is the abstract emotional state of mind any victim like him would have. one that sometimes gets more kafkaesque the longer i stare at him. so please bear in mind that i love the subtext his character possesses, i just can’t always rely on it to explain anything.

if you know me you know i like to complain about this shows writing, not out of hate for it but rather out of love for the material and what it started off as and has ability to be still (stuff like heavier writing that holds narrative weight, david being an asshole, the whole harrison thing that is lost to time now etc etc). whenever i watch this show with someone i usually opt to rewatch several earlier episodes after we finish parents day. it gets praised a lot but i don’t often see people mention how well it recontextualizes a lot of stuff previously shown to us, not only for max but other cast members too. a lot of the problems that stem from this is the fact that most other characters whose issues were presented to us in this episode are strawman connected to their family by the writers in a way that laters on allows for progress without relying on mention or presence of their parental figures (proper examples of this are preston, ered, nerris, somewhat harrison). max doesn’t get that simply by the virtue of the fact that his issues cannot exist in a vacuum and are inherently connected to his family. max’s parents haunting all of the narrative surrounding him has enough psychoanalytical subtext for it to traumatize several men and leave freud rolling in his grave, so i believe that you cannot in good faith progress his character without mentioning them or their actions or lack thereof towards him once or twice. that’s pretty much why i think that the topic of his abuse has not been brought up in a meaningful way since parents day. from where i stand i view abuse as one of the focus themes in this show, so poor treatment of it is very obvious to pin point to me as it usually drags most characters down with it the less it is respected in a way it should be.

like i said, the way the show recontextualizes max’s behavior leaves way for interpretation of the viewer on the way why he is the way he is, it’s easy for us to understand why he can’t swim or why he can’t fathom the idea of moving on and letting go on several occasions. the thing is in a perfect world we don’t have to do all of this. it can be attributed to good writing for making the audience be able to perceive any part of the characters psyche without the authors help, but in reality it’s lazy to expect everyone to treat the characters from a watsonian perspective and view their every move as a meta reference towards their trauma when not everyone cares enough to do so. the writer referencing child abuse and not adding onto it aside from the mention of its existence is exploitative of the viewers personal care for the character, it’s bad writing. you obviously can interpret what max does as a result of neglect (and you should!) with the power of subtext, implications and critical thinking, but what you also should think about is what does it tell you about his character aside from the fact that he is neglected. do we ever find out something new about his home situation or do scenes like these give us any discussion inside the show about the fact that he is still actively a victim of neglect? (the answer is most always gonna be no, maybe just always)

tldr; stuff like child abuse is heavy, writing it is hard and treating it the way rooster teeth does is not only poor writing but also disrespectful to the very real human trauma they are inserting into their show on more than one occasion

i would also love to discuss the david stuff you brought up and why him acting towards max and others in a way that he does in recent seasons is a long standing issue rather than a new problem but thats genuinely a conversation for another day as this post is already long enough as it is. thank you for the ask :3c

[quietwingsinthesky]

if i ever end up writing even’s actual first encounter and adventure with the doctor, one of the running themes is going to be how there aren’t any windows on the ship.

which doesn’t seem like such a big thing at first, but that’s from our point of view, or the doctor’s, because we (and him) know the size of the universe. we know what space is, maybe not entirely, but enough to know the shape of it, yeah? we know what stars look like even when their light is a trillion years and miles away. but there are no windows on this ship. and even has never seen the night sky, has never seen a star or a planet or just the empty space that’s separated from them by feet of metal and a great deal of luck. even has lived their whole life inside, and space is not a thing they can see or touch. it’s an abstract threat beyond their walls. they could not imagine the enormity of it if they tried.

they don’t know the shape of the ship either. imagine someone let you run through a maze and then told you to draw it. you could draw the corridors you walked through and the dead-ends you ran into, but could you for certain say that you ever found the edges of it? that know the walls on the outside look like the walls on the inside? how big is it? and really, what you should be imagining is that your maze is one of a dozen different mazes all tied together with rubber bands, and none of you actually know what the whole thing looks like, and you don’t have time to talk through the walls to figure that out because if you stop moving for too long, the food dispenser at the end won’t give you anything despite reaching your goal because you were too slow, better try harder next time, stop talking and start running.

even isn’t surprised that the tardis is bigger on the inside. it doesn’t hit them until the doctor lets them see the ship they were on from the outside. like a farewell wave, opening the doors of the tardis as she orbits the ship, and even takes in the shape of it first. (they can’t figure out where they lived, where they worked, from the outside. they don’t recognize any of it.)

but then they see everything else, beyond the ship, while the doctor is standing behind them and saying something reassuring, ‘they’ll be alright without you, don’t worry about them, we fixed everything’, absently, kindly, because he knows they need a moment alone to say goodbye but someone has to stand at the controls and the silence gets to him a little too much. doesn’t see that even’s eyes are so, so wide staring beyond the ship at the universe around it.

it’s too big. they panic. they shut themselves inside the tardis.

that’s what gives the doctor pause. makes him waver, here, because even’s good companion material, they’ve got that spark in them that makes them want to help, whatever it takes, (this is what will undo them, eventually.) and he doesn’t want to leave them there. but you can’t just take something out of its natural habitat and expect it to flourish. that’s how you get wilting leaves and patchy coats and enough stress to kill something from heartbreak alone.

‘i can take you back,’ he offers. it’s the last time that’ll ever be true, but if he knew that when he said it, it’d be a very different kind of story. so he doesn’t.

even is shaking. tearing up. scared. elated? hiccuping on little gasps of air. the stars are beautiful, and terrifying, and now that even knows they exist, they can never go back to before they knew.

the doctor is cruel like that. he wants to show you the universe.

but here’s what’s true now and will be true forever: even doesn’t want to go back. i mean, god, could you blame them. one day, in a few years/decades/centuries/after the long way round to the end of the universe and the short trip back, he’s going to tell them that they can either say to his face that they’d rather he’d left them on that ship or they can stop adding it to his list of sins. they won’t be able to.

so they say no.

and they pull the doors back open just a crack, wide enough for one eye, small enough to shut again with the tremble of a hand. and they peek back out at the universe they’ve been living in. they don’t notice the ship, as the tardis breaks her orbit, speeding further and further away to a destination its passengers will never see.

that’s why there are no windows on the ship. well, that, and it wasn’t very well-designed in the first place.

[dustedmagazine]

Locrian — New Catastrophism/Ghost Frontiers (Profound Lore)

Photo by Elena Volkova

Does it matter if Locrian is a metal band or not? Every genre down to the most minute subdivision has its grognards passionate about what’s in or excluded (and often, in making value judgments that arise thereof), but aside from them it’s unlikely many of us listen to music and then look up the precise stylistic delineation before deciding if we fuck with it. So, if the question is worth asking it’s not for gatekeeping purposes, but for what trying to fit the now-geographically dispersed Chicago trio into or out of the metal box tells us about their music and the way we hear it. And the appearance of New Catrosphism, their first record in seven years, and accompanying EP Ghost Frontiers is an especially good time to ask it, both because of that gap and because these two releases may be Locrian’s most grippingly abstract yet.

Of course, listening to New Catastrophism/Ghost Frontiers is also a good reminder that something can be abstract and powerfully visceral at the same time. As the opening drone scape of “Mortichnia” grumbles to life (especially on decent headphones), there’s a very active sense of presence, and a foreboding one. Locrian have long made the end of the world their subject; after several strong efforts as the duo of André Foisy and Terence Hannum, 2010’s J.G. Ballard homage The Crystal World saw Steven Hess complete the trio and resulted in the first of several works that feel less like art “about” the end than attempts to evoke the actual sound of it. 2022 has certainly been a year that makes one’s thoughts turn towards the apocalyptic, and after Locrian’s last records were the excellent albeit slightly more conventionally song-shaped efforts Return to Annihilation and Infinite Dissolution, the restless, hostile, primal noise on New Catastrophism’s four tracks is even more bracing. 

If the first 13 or so minutes of the album might have one reaching for more esoteric or novel descriptors (power ambient? blackened noise?), when Hess’s drums and Hannum’s blasted howl kick in partway through “The Glare Is Everywhere and Nowhere Our Shadow,” it’s pretty hard to avoid the m-word even though the sonic and emotional character of the track has shifted only slightly. Locrian aren’t the first to make a metal record with few if any riffs, here with some of the most notable guitar being a deceptively clean repeated figure pinging through the end of “Incomplete Map of Voids” and an acoustic that makes the closing “Cenotaph to the Final Glacier” darkly pastoral before it succumbs to first sawtooth-edged fuzz and then a gradual flurry of digitized percussion. It’s the kind of thing that makes hard and fast rules for genre beyond “I know it when I hear it” feel vaguely silly. Ultimately what category you stick Locrian in doesn’t make their work better or worse (and certainly the band doesn’t seem that fussed), but if anything with the kind of one-way-tension-ratchet climax that “The Glare…” boasts doesn’t fit into the category of “metal,” our definitions may be too rigid. 

The 30-minute Ghost Frontiers EP included as a download with the vinyl release of New Catastrophism pushes the question even further. Two massive slabs of cycling, even more totalizing drone that can feel endless while the listener is in the midst of it, they’re packing even fewer typical genre referents than the album. And yet with a kind of negative grandiosity, by virtue of perhaps showing the aftermath of the breakdown New Catastrophism so stunningly depicts, the two tracks here might be even more harrowing. Whatever you want to call what Locrian does, both of these releases demonstrate aptly how well suited they are to the feeling of our current days, and how good it is to have them back. 

Ian Mathers

[medievaljedi]

I’ve been thinking about the Bicameral Mind and AI and I think Joyce is on to something, sort of. Which is to say that the noticed pattern is there, but he doesn’t interpret it quite right.

What I see in these stories that are used to describe a “bicameral mind” is something a bit more interesting. The stories themselves are extremely interesting because they seem to take everything that happens *literally*. Ares doesn’t just show up as a voice in some person’s brain. He isn’t just heard. He’s not even just seen and heard. He participated in the battle to the point of not only killing people, but being wounded and bleeding. Abraham doesn’t just hallucinate god, but makes god a literal meal that he (and his companions) eat. Zeus is literally born, is literally a baby who cries and who can be killed.

Even heaven and the afterlife are extremely literal. Hades is underground, and in fact can be visited through caves. Olympus is a mountain. The gods and the spirits of the dead eat and drink. Plato actually warns followers not to drink from the well of Lethe so they can remember who they were when reborn. Persephone is condemned to hades for every seed of a pomegranate she ate in Hades.

The people writing this stuff are taking everything that happens in these stories quite literally. The gods literally eat and drink, get wounded, live in physical bodies in physical places. The dead likewise live underground (where they were buried) in a place that, being underground can be visited through caves. This is very concrete thinking, and the beings thought about are concrete beings.

So my thought is that it doesn’t have to be a hallucination at all. It’s simply that in the era when these stories were first recorded, the people writing them cannot fathom anything beyond actual physical realities of life on earth. They cannot think abstractly. Life after death is literally that — a continuation of exactly what happens on Earth, complete with eating and drinking and in a physical world that while underground, isn’t that much different than life above ground. They write their gods as physically showing up because they can’t really conceive of a being that doesn’t audibly speak, and can’t comprehend one that doesn’t have a physical body much like a human does. They can’t understand the idea of an abstract reality where god or the gods are simply spirits that don’t have real bodies. They can’t conceive of a dead sprite who is just floating around.

What I think people miss is just how much our understanding of the universe has changed even since then. Our minds have learned to think about abstractions, and then to think about abstractions abstractly. When we still worked with machines directly, the idea was create a device to directly do one thing. A machine to make one type of part. Later we created a machine that we could give direct instructions to so it could do lots of things (and most people use a pocket version to play candy crush). AI is a step farther into meta cognition— not only are we not directly creating the thing, nor are we building something to create the thing, we’re not even creating a device we can give instructions to to make the thing. AI is creating a thing that we teach to understand things and thus it can figure out for itself how to make things.

In the year 1000 BC, everything was on a very low level, directly experienced by sight, smell, touch, etc. You raised sheep, and your idea of math was counting sheep adding new lambs and subtracting those eaten by lions. There was no need for a deeper understanding of that. Real things do real things. Once you get into having a government, you need to think abstractly, begin to use numbers to keep track of taxes, people, goods, and so on. As society gets more complex, you need to be able to think more and more abstractly. Not just taxes paid, but anticipating trends like weather, military activity, trade. Eventually as science answers more questions, you not only need to anticipate but shape events.

[val-of-the-north]

Name your 5 favorite Bloodborne ships and justify your opinion! (Also if you take too long to respond this ask I will cast a curse on you that will make every pizza slice you hold to sprout pineapple pieces from within AHAHAHAHA! When I am late to reply - this is stress and busy life, when you are late to reply - this is being lazy booboo the fool xD)

This is a hard one for me!!! I am not the shippiest of people (I am more for different scenarios than fixed ships more often than not), but I shall try my best! They aren't in any particular order.

5) Gatekeeper x Dores

This one makes sense but basically no one ships them because they are two obscure characters that don’t really impact the story all that much. Fully reasonable lmao. Sadly, I am ALL for obscure characters so they did not escape my radar. I just think they’d have a very fun dynamic, seeing as she is feral and creepy while he is incredibly paranoid and strict. They are into some weird ass shit too, after all they are both insane lol.

4) Damian x Micolash

It was pretty much one of the introductory ships lmao, and it makes great sense too. I view Damian as one of Micolash’s greater enforcers and perhaps even enabler. He is kind of Micolash’s muscle because the scholar wasn’t particularly strong back in the day, and his power only comes from close contact with the Arcane. Damian was probably the least disposable of the people in Yahar’gul which is saying something when it comes to Micolash lol. This one doesn’t end very well though, as the two of them part ways after Damian finally listens to his conscience...

3) Brador x Laurence

This ship has some veeeery good angst potential, and that is one of the aspects that draws me to it. Brador would do anything for Laurence, and the vicar is incredibly greatful for it, despite this attitude somewhat spoiling him in the long run. However, I don’t picture this ship as reciprocated, Laurence only views him as a close, devoted friend, and Brador accepts this despite wishing for so much more... of course he is driven mad by having to kill Laurence, and vows to keep his name and legacy clear for as long as he lives and even beyond. It’s some inhuman dedication that Laurence will never bear witness to.

2) Rom x Ebrietas

It’s one of the more “abstract” of these ships since it’s probably really hard to understand a being like Ebrietas... however, she seems to have a connection with the Rom-like body, mourning it. I believe that to be Rom’s real world body, meaning Ebrietas had to be fond of her at some point. This becomes even more interesting when taking into account that all clues point to Rom having been human(oid) at some point and ascending. A being like Ebrietas caring for something so insignificant to her... even the Choir seems perplexed, wondering why she'd even weep for something like Rom. I think that’s really sweet, if not incredibly sad too... (I do not ignore that Rom could also be her surrogate child of sort, but Great Ones marrying mortals isn’t something entirely new, so who knows for sure?)

1) Two particular Yurie ships

Lol lmao. I could not choose between the ones I have. I’ve always appreciated Yurie, and thinking back at some of these ships makes me feel a bit fuzzy inside. They go waaaay back! The one that makes the most sense is of course her relationship with Rom. I imagine them being very close, and their bond being one of the reasons why she still protects her in Byrgenwerth. If Rom had any importance to the Choir as a whole, they’d probably send more of their ranks to protect her, but it’s just Yurie on her own. Another one is with Damian, and this one is pretty strange I admit ahah... it was a crackship of sorts, but I could ALSO see the potential in it, with both of them having fled their institutions to find themselves in the emptied halls of Byrgenwerth, reflecting upon their mistakes and perhaps bonding over them. Of course the only thing she CAN’T give up is Rom, so when Damian shows up with a curious hunter in tow, she knows what they are there to do and she won’t allow it.

Well, you may have noticed that these ships are all tragic (except Dores & Gatekeeper lol) and DON’T have happy endings... yeah that sounds about right for a Soulsborne game ahah, wish I could be less of a downer but the source material won’t let me :(

[third-half]

feelin’ kind of moody about my creative shit again and how... little of it i’ve been doing lately. when i was younger and just uploading to my own website, there wasn’t really an easy way to view statistics and i had a fairly steady drip of ‘hey you’re pretty good at this!’ from friends and now every posting has the number of interactions right there in the corner which quickly goes from ‘neat’ to ‘oh that’s not actually that much’ when you’ve trawled around a while and seen other works out there. my social circle has kinda shrunk too.

iono man, i know original content is a hard sell, it’s just kind of hard to psyche myself up to work on my stuff when i know even my closer friends aren’t that into games i am, mecha, jets, etc and my family doesn’t even *know* what i do beyond the very abstract fact i draw things and get paid for it sometimes. i showed dad one of my character design pages once and he just kind of went ‘uh... huh’ and i dropped it.

just blowing off steam here, don’t read like, a crisis into it or anything. i know it’s my own fault for not really putting anything out there that would make people *care* since most of the stuff i’ve got is in my head or in my phone’s notepad app. 

on the up side, my new insoles are pretty great and i don’t feel like utter death after work, just mostly death. 

[rose---child]

Art is best when it is beyond measure

Art is so incredible. I love how much of art is so captivating that people don’t even realize it.

One thing I love about it is that it’s built on the back of the things that came before, everything influences it.

Your influences, your experiences, your skills, your feelings.

But not just that but the time and place you’re in. Every medium is different. It’s like time is full of us slowly shifting mediums and sure a and b are very similar and b and c are very similar mediums but we look back and a and c are so different, we see our traditions change, the technology changes, the times change, who we are changes.

Tropes change, stories change, sure we have stock charecters and stories, but we never run out of stories to tell.

Just like how life itself is one organism, so is art.

Art is just expression,and you know what’s crazy is that it’s never static.

2 people can see the same exact thing and think 2 very different things, AND WHATS CRAZIER IS THEY CAN COME BACK LATER AND THINK SOMETHING ENTIERLY DIFFRENT

what’s even crazier is that ANYTHING CAN BE ART

The banana on the wall, ART, a cat litter ad that is a faithful recreation of “meshes of the afternoon”, ART, you, art, a brick with just supreme, art, McDonald’s logo, ALSO ART

I think we forget media literacy where we forget intention of something, in my film class in highschool we had to watch a video or movie and talk about the composition and and all these things, but one of the things was intention

Is it to entertain,educate, call to action, promote, propaganda, exc.

I think we forget that corporate advertising is still art, but it’s also meant to be monetary, sadly they stopped putting capital into it and also just styles shifted away from “good” art where like now styles are so dull and from my opinion I don’t like that, but if you do then that’s okay

I’m really says a lot here.

Some of my favorite paintings I learned about in highschool

Was the work of Frida kahlo, she had a painting in 1932 called “Henry ford hospital” that showed depictions of childbirth, miscarriage, and abortion, when she was pregnant

“Guernica” a large painting depicting the Spanish civil war, it was made in 1937 by Pablo Picasso

“Composition II in Red, Blue, and Yellow” in 1930 by Piet Mondrian and “Tableau I” in 1921.

These peices awoke something in my little head. I love primary colors a lot and I think these and the abstract concepts just make sense to me, I didn’t have context for them, to me they were captivating. BOLD DARK BLACK LINES DARK RED SEXY YELLOW AND NICE BEAUTIFUL BLUE. I don’t think I saw the first one till later and his later still I didn’t either, but that composition 2 I feel like altered something in me

Keith harring is another I also deeply feel a lot for, fridas work I also feel deeply for but it’s hard to describe but she is very incredibly talented and amazing. Keith’s work reminds me of my grandma, of people I knew, who I am, and also reminds me that the aids epidemic killed 1/3rd of all queer people

He wasent just political and he has a very distinct visual style, it’s still shown today, but he died in 1990 due to aids. My grandma used to like his art a lot and later when I learned about him so did I, I got introduced to him through a painting of his wolfmen at a Red Robin but then later I was reintroduced to him and I just then couldn’t get him out of my head, he was my everything

Art is a web and once you get stuck in it doesn’t eat you alive, it transforms you

[aggravatetheaxe]

Hey! Saw your post and saw you said you were upsettie spaghetti so I wanted to cheer you up!

Slashers who stop everything they’re doing because their “My S/O needs me” senses are tingling and go to their rescue to comfort their angry s/o?

I was hoping to come up with A way for you to get your emotions out through your writing- 😅

Hope you feel better! 🖤

I've never done a post in this style before so hopefully I do okay! I think I covered pretty much all the slashers I write for so far (I didn't do Billy Lenz because I still need to read the novelization). I may have gone way overboard, so if I do these in the future, I'll probably just pick a few instead of doing the whole roster 😅 (or you can pick for me). But doing this much work did distract me!

Above the cut:

Bo Sinclair

Vincent Sinclair

Lester Sinclair

Included below the cut:

Michael Myers (OG)

Jason Voorhees

Leslie Vernon

Thomas Hewitt

Bubba Sawyer

Brahms Heelshire

Erik ("The Phantom")

Deacon Billings (OC Ghostface)

Courtney Dwayne Delmont (OC slasher)

Kathleen Montgomery (OC slasher)

Masterlist

***

Bo Sinclair

Despite being autistic, Bo is very in tune with peoples auras and body language. He has to be to manipulate and deceive people with any modicum of success. He's trained himself when it comes to these things; even besides masking or manipulation, he needed to be keenly aware of when his parents were in Bad Moods so he could either avoid them or prepare himself.

The mood he's probably best at when it comes to this, for those reasons, is anger. He can smell anger a mile away. So if you're fuming, you better believe he notices.

At first he's annoyed and will demand to know what your problem is. He's not a very tolerant person, and he can be a bit of a hypocrite. He's allowed to have big, messy feelings, but when it comes to others having big, messy feelings ... he's not so comfortable with that. He gets overwhelmed.

Once he realizes that this is more than an attitude problem, he'll take it much more seriously. And assuming you're not mad at him, he'll want the rundown on the whole situation from beginning to end. He wants all the dirt.

He'll let you rant, and honestly, he'd think you being this angry (when it's not directed at him, but even still sometimes) is kind of sexy. And don't expect him to shut his mouth, either; he'll be ranting right along with you, affirming you and insulting whomever/whatever you're angry about.

He doesn't wanna cuddle. He genuinely thinks you can't cuddle anger away. He'll put on some loud-ass music and let you vent your frustration however you prefer. Maybe suggest a long drive down to the lake or into town or just ... picking a direction and going. He has fantasies of running away from his anger sometimes. He knows how it is.

Depending on what you're angry about, it could definitely get to the point where he's angrier about the situation than you are. And if it really hurt you, he will not let it go as long as he lives. The best he will ever do is maintain a grudging neutrality or distance from the person/situation that made you angry.

He's very protective. If you're angry at someone you need to maintain a relationship with, you're going to have to keep an eye on Bo to make sure he doesn't deliver revenge for you behind your back. If it's something he can solve, he'll do it, so if you don't want him running his mouth, watch him.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent is in the same boat as Bo when it comes to sensing auras, though his handle on body language and facial expressions is not as keenly honed. While Vincent was not physically abused as brutally or as often as Bo, this wasn't because of some sterling quality he had that Bo lacked. He was always The Good One because he saw what his parents did to The Bad One and knew he needed to protect himself. He tried not to do anything that might provoke his parents.

You can feel anger before a fight like you smell ozone before a storm. Vincent is attuned to the feeling not just because of his parents but because of Bo's temper, too. Because of this, like Bo, he can very accurately sense anger in particular.

His initial reaction is to observe you, gauging if you need time to cool off. If you need space, Vincent is the Sinclair for you. He's used to being quiet and deflecting and riding out anger.

However, once he realizes that your anger is not directed at him or isn't explosive enough to become a problem for him, he's concerned. Rather than asking what happened, he will ask if you're okay, and leave it up to you whether you'll tell him about it or not.

If you vent, he'll sit and listen patiently, maybe even thoughtfully working on a sculpture while you rant. He's not judgemental and he can be very emotional himself, so you could say the most ridiculous, dramatic things and he wouldn't even bat an eye. Let out all your messy, destructive thoughts and feelings. Just try not to throw or punch anything; that's when he shuts down.

If you decide you just want comfort, or decide you need comfort after ranting, art is his first suggestion. It may seem cold to you at first, that his instinct isn't to hold you or kiss you but rather to redirect you to a project - once you got to know him, however, you'd know that's his most genuine way to show he cares. Redirecting to something creative calms him down more than platitudes ever could, and he wants that for you. He's nonjudgmental about the art you create as well, even if it's objectively terrible. It's not about the quality.

He won't turn you down if you need physical affection, however. His twin is extremely tactile, so it wouldn't be the first time he held someone after a breakdown. He prefers to do this if he's certain you won't lash out physically, but if you were in a really bad way and needed to be touched, he'd do it regardless.

Lester Sinclair

Lester witnessed his parents' anger, but it was usually indirectly; if Bo was the Bad One and Vincent was the Good One, he was the Overlooked One. He's not a perfect person, probably not even a good person, but of the three brothers, he's the most normally socialized. He isn't trained to be tuned into everyone's every shifting mood in order to survive.

It takes Lester a little longer to pick up on your anger than his brothers, but not too much longer. It takes him a couple tries at trying to talk to you or get your attention before he realizes something is really wrong.

His first reaction is to get upset. He soaks up emotions like a little sponge, so he's suddenly cranky, too. He also jumps to conclusions and assumes that you're angry with him, and he does not take rejection well. He might be bitter and passive aggressive. You being angry just makes him want to go in another room and not be around you, and yet at the same time, he wants your reassurances. It's messy and sad.

Once he realizes - either through observing you or through you communicating with him - that you're mad at another person or situation, then he'll feel comfortable enough to approach you and ask you about it. You'll definitely need to reassure him that you're not mad at him though.

If you wanna rant, he'll take you on a long drive and let you vent your heart out to him. He won't be quite as aggressive as Bo, but he'll be on your side, frowning with disapproval, telling you "Ya can't fix stupid." If you want only comfort or need comfort after venting, he feels much more equipped for that. He'll put something relaxing in the VHS or let you play his old Super Nintendo, get you a beer, just let you chill out. And he'll let you win at Doctor Mario.

If the situation is something really serious, you best believe he'll be talking to his brothers about it the second he gets a chance. He may be a sweet guy, but he can be real nasty, and he doesn't fuck around when it comes to you. You might have to keep an eye out to make sure he doesn't tell someone off or punch out someone's lights.

Michael Myers (OG)

In 1978, Michael is not very in tune with any emotions besides fear, and even then he only really understands it in an abstract way, as his condition and upbringing haven't really been conducive to him learning about emotions. Unless you're screaming in terror, have tears running down your face, or are shouting angrily, he really can't read your moods. Without any obvious change to how you normally act or look, there's a huge chance he might just not notice if you're angry. He spends a lot of time in his own little world.

In 2018, even though he's spent over 50 years institutionalized, Michael has had time to take in the world, and he's seen a lot more. He understands fear much more than he did when he was 21, but what he understands most of all is anger. His anger fuels him. He would pick up on yours right away and be curious, though he wouldn't verbalize it.

If you tell him how you feel, he'll take note of it. If he witnesses you doing something destructive because of your anger, he'll simply observe. He would be fascinated with this thing you're doing, because it's not something you normally do, and though he might not notice emotions, he certainly notices routine and pattern. Either way, you'll have to tell him how you feel, because he'll simply watch you otherwise.

One thing that can be said for Michael is that he's a good listener. He may not internalize everything you say, but he will remember what he thinks is important. You may be surprised; he may remember tiny little details that seem inconsequential to you but loom large in his mind.

Unless you were caused serious physical or mental harm, he would not be angry on your behalf. He would, however, do nothing to assuage your anger. He thinks it would be kinda neat and interesting to see you snap. He's not 100% sure why you don't just do it.

In 1978, he won't be much help beyond listening to you, but he would be curious to see what you do to vent your anger. You may find him by your side more often, observing you. He may also want to find and observe the object of your anger, especially if it's a person. In 2018, he would, in his own way, suggest you solve the problem by murdering someone/something. He's insatiable, but killing is the closest he's ever come to satisfaction. You should try it.

Jason Voorhees

Out of all of the slashers, Jason is the most likely to actually literally sense your anger, especially if you're psychically sensitive/powerful like Tina Shepard. I'm talkin'—assuming you have a pre-established relationship—he'll be doing something else and just get this itch that tells him you're out there somewhere, pissed off.

Obviously this is untenable. As long as he's not super busy or Pamela has other plans, Jason will stomp his way through the woods to get back to you, regardless of the urgency of your anger. If Pamela doesn't approve, well, he'll let a little anger go and assume you're okay. If he suspects you may be in danger, though, he's sprinting regardless of what Mom says. There's time for both things, Ma!

The first thing he'll do when he returns to you is scan your dwelling, then you, making sure nothing is broken. At that point, you'd probably be able to sense his confusion even without him signing. Jason doesn't experience emotions quite like a human anymore, and he's quite tactile besides, so a lack of tangible or visible clues as to why you're upset would trip him up for a second.

He doesn't want to comfort you at first, he wants to know what's wrong. He'll listen to you vent only long enough to understand the situation and identify his target. His immediate next move would be to eliminate the problem. You'll definitely have to hold him back, and it may take a bit of convincing. Earthly consequences don't really apply to him.

Before comfort comes blowing off steam, for you and for him. His first choices would be mangling some trees (you can pretend it's for firewood) or skipping/throwing stones into the lake. You're welcome to join him if those things calm you down; watching him get his stone to skip like 11 times on Crystal Lake may make you feel better, at least.

You might hang out there for hours before he suddenly decides it's time to go home. He'll do what he can to make your comfortable or stay out of your way while you make yourself comfortable, then comfort you as you please. His go-to choice is always foot or hand massages.

Leslie Vernon

Leslie is extremely observant and surprisingly analytical given how silly he is in the day to day. His intuition makes it pretty easy for him to read people, but especially you, since you two are so close. Especially-especially if you're his Survivor Girl (gender neutral term of course). You two are in sync, so he knows if something's up. Maybe even before you fully figure it out.

God, you're so hot when you're angry, you really are. He almost wants to let you scream and holler and go nuts. But he prefers you only get angry like that at him, especially if you're his Survivor Girl, so his first move is to comfort you or talk you down to a place where you can be comforted. He'll speak to you calmly and rationally, reassuring you and touching you if you wanna be touched—on your upper arms or shoulders or face, or with one arm around your back.

He doesn't just want to comfort you, though, he wants to calm you down enough that you can tell him what happened. Even if you claim you don't want to talk about it, he will coax it out of you eventually. He's gotta know what got you so upset. It's his business to know everything about you!

Assuming you're angry at someone/something that isn't him, he'll talk it through with you. If you're upset about an argument with someone, he has the capacity to see it from the other side, but ultimately, he's there for you. He'll let you bitch as much as you want, still touching you, and he'll be disgusted and/or disappointed with the situation.

Above all, though, what he wants is to see you smile again. The only worries on your mind should be the ones he comes up with, and man, he's not even halfway done grooming the next batch of unlucky teenagers. He'd pat your face or touch your hair and tell you to cheer up, and probably defuse the situation with a stupid quip or joke. Take you out somewhere fun, maybe.

Once you were cheered up, he'd humbly suggest you solve your problem with a little murder. "I mean, I know killing's not really your thing—you're really good at it, though, a talent! You know that..." Pause, considering you. "You want me to do it? 'Cause I can clear my schedule for the rest of the night." If you decline, he'd be like "Suit yourself" but may or may not still murder whoever upset you. If you agree, he'd be super excited to make a romantic night of it. His mind would be going a million miles an hour planning everything out.

Thomas Hewitt

Tommy knows anger when he sees it. Not only does he have loads of internalized anger, he's been on the receiving end of it plenty. He's far too large to be scared of anyone in a physical sense anymore, but he's been shouted at countless times. To know when to shut up and do as he's told versus arguing back, he's learned to gauge intensity and direction of anger, and he well knows that anger can be redirected to him.

So, he instantly recognizes your mood, but it might be a while before he approaches you. When he does approach, he'll let you decide what to do, whether that's throwing your arms around him or banging your fists on his chest to vent your anger. You won't hurt him.

Eventually, once you're all hugged or cried or screamed out, he'll wrap his arms around you and give you a reassuring squeeze. There's no need to tell Tommy what's wrong—he won't ask unless you're obviously in serious distress or injured—but if you decide to speak, he'll listen, brows drawn tightly the whole time. He's thoughtful about the situation.

If you're mad at someone in his family, there isn't much he can do for you besides comfort you and assure you that whoever upset you—Hoyt, probably—didn't mean what they said. If you were hurt physically, it would be another story, but his family gets in shouting matches all the time.

Rather than offering help, he'd wait for you to request it of him. Whatever you ask, shy of hurting his family, he will do. Murder someone? No problem. Make you some food? You got it. Bring you a blanket? Sure. Give you some quiet alone time? That's fine, too.

If you need to vent, he's got plenty of ways to get out your frustration. Plenty of farm work to do, or you could work on something around the house with him. He might suggest knitting or sewing or some other handicraft you enjoy. It always makes him feel better to buckle down and use his hands for something.

If you're still preoccupied/upset by the time you two bed down, or heaven forbid the next morning, then he starts taking it more seriously. Something that disturbs you for that long is bad news. He'll watch you carefully the next couple days to see how you're doing, waiting for you to need him for something.

Bubba Sawyer

Like Tommy, Bubba has been on the receiving end of anger many, many times, so he's familiar with what it looks and feels like. Despite his size, he's still susceptible to physical violence at the hands of his loved ones, so he's very wary of anger.

However, he doesn't have a female presence in his life like Luda Mae, who expresses her anger through passive aggression—so, he's more used to shouting and screaming. If you aren't prone to screaming and shouting, it might take a little bit for him to realize you're not just sad or upset, you're angry.

Bubba will be over you. He'd give anyone else their space because he'd be afraid of retaliation, but you're his special person, and he's pretty sure you're not going to hurt him. He'll touch your hair, your arms, your wrists; he'll babble as he tries to figure out what's wrong. He just wants to comfort you and let you know everything is all right.

If it's too much or you're overwhelmed and you snap at him, he'll ease back. He'll blubber like a kicked puppy, but he won't give up. He'll still try to comfort you, just in other ways, such as getting you a comfort item or article of clothing, or maybe some food. And boy will he helicopter.

There's no need to tell Bubba what's wrong. In fact, it might be better if you didn't; if it's something he can't fix, it would do nothing but majorly stress him out. If it was one of his family members who upset you, as with Tommy, he wouldn't be able to do much. Even if you were hurt, he's just not in a position to stand up for you. That fact would absolutely kill him, though. He'd end up getting even more upset than you.

He doesn't know what help to offer you beyond comfort, but like Tommy, if you requested something specific, he'd try to carry out your wishes. He'll also try to cheer you up with some music and dancing, or just being silly like you like.

Need to blow off steam? He's got plenty of coping mechanisms! Bubba's idea of a perfect de-stress session is turning up the radio and getting lost in crafts. He's got lots of supplies, mostly to create clothing and accessories, and you're special, so you can have your pick. A drive and the radio might be nice, too. If neither of those appeal to you, he'll try cooking or baking with you. He loves sharing the kitchen with someone.

If none of that works and you're still upset, be prepared, because he's gonna be an anxious mess until you're better.

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms is somewhat familiar with other people's anger. He certainly has a whole fountain of internalized anger brewing just beneath the surface, but that's different. He knows that when Mummy is angry, she yells and cries, and when Daddy is angry, he seethes and stews. The former would be obvious to him, but the latter would take him a few minutes to be quite sure about. You're not acting how you usually do. Are you being stern or are you angry? Are you cross with him?

He does not have a lot of empathy for other people, so if your anger gets in the way of his routine or the attention he wants, he'll be irked, cranky, sad. Not necessarily at you—though that is possible—but the situation in which you find yourselves.

Much like Bo, he's allowed to have big, messy feelings, but it makes him uncomfortable and scared when other people have those feelings. He might even hide from you for a while, especially if you screamed and cried.

Once he realizes something is really wrong and you're not mad at him, however, he'll start thinking of ways to cheer you up so things can go back to normal. He hates having his routine interrupted; he's very particular. And he cares for you, so seeing you in distress is very scary and uncomfortable for him.

He'll start by fetching you something you like—something manageable for him like your favorite juice or a sandwich, or if you have a special item or article of clothing, that. He's quite shy, though, and like I said, he'll probably be hiding, so he'll leave it somewhere he knows you'll find it (on the bed, outside your door, on your desk, etc.)

If that doesn't calm you down and your anger is really getting in the way of his routine, or otherwise making him uncomfortable, he'll finally make an appearance. Very bashful and timid at first, using his little boy voice. "What's wrong, Y/N? Did something bad happen?"

If it's something that can't be helped, he'll suggest you do something together to take your mind off it (most likely something he likes to do). He may even be coaxed into taking a walk around the grounds, though he doesn't like to leave the manor at all, so you'd have to convince him. He prefers quiet playtime, maybe some coloring books or loud music to vent your emotions. It would intrigue him to see someone else use his toys to calm down. As long as you recognized he was being very nice, sharing them.

If it was an argument you had with someone, he would want more information. Are they likely to leave you alone, or will they come to the manor? Will he have to deal with them? Because it's scary, but he'll do it for you.

If, for some reason, none of those things work, he may cry or throw a fit. Either way, he'll be frustrated. Adult Brahms may make an appearance and try to help you in more Adult ways.

Erik

Though he lives five cellars beneath an opera house now, Erik hasn't always been entirely reclusive. Even these days, when he can stomach it, he sometimes goes out to see the world. As a younger man, he observed people's lives and moods with a hungry fascination (that has now mostly been replaced by melancholy and longing and bitter anger). Like several of the other slashers here, he's had to train himself to sense fury to protect himself. He's also incredibly wrathful, so you could call him an expert!

He has a very keenly honed sense when it comes to you specifically, since he's watched you so much. He notices the change in your demeanor immediately.

If you know him as the "Angel of Music," his voice will appear to you once you're alone, asking you what's wrong and assuring you you can confide in him—he will insist you tell him, though. "There are to be no secrets between us, Y/N." He will listen without interjection as you vent your heart out, and when you're done, soothe you. Don't let his calming voice deceive you, though; behind that mirror, he's seething, planning to take matters into his own hands.

If you know him as Erik, he will go to you the second he recognizes the shift in your mood and take you from what you're doing, regardless of your wishes. He'll sit you down, kneeling before you with your hands in his, and gaze into your eyes, imploring you to tell him what's wrong. He'll absolutely allow you physical comfort, but he will also absolutely insist you tell. He'll need reassurance that you're not angry at him, because that thought would break his heart.

He will let you vent however you wish. You could have the most dramatic breakdown ever—throwing things, beating your fists on his chest, wailing—and he wouldn't judge you. He would be awfully concerned, though.

Will be 110% on your side. You are his poor little meow meow. "My poor love, my poor Y/N!" He is beside himself with sympathy for you and you only, and is very offended on your behalf.

He will always suggest music as an outlet for your anger, but he will have taken note of your other hobbies and interests as well. He'll fetch your things for you without being asked, as long as it won't separate him from you for very long. If you'd rather just have comfort, that's fine, too. He could hold your hand and caress your face for hours on end under normal circumstances, so no problem there. He may also suggest a little time on the surface, if you normally live in his home. Fresh air will do you both good, he reasons, and he enjoys spending time with you where others can witness it. It fills him with pride and love.

Otherwise, he's at your service for any other soothing activities you need. A calming bath, some sweets, shopping, anything. Perhaps avoid asking for any sexual contact, however. First of all, being asked directly makes him very skittish and nervous; second of all, his method of love-making (when you can coax him) is very intimate and tender, which may be tedious if you're in an angry mood.

Unless the situation is extremely serious or dire, his first priority is making sure you're soothed. Once that duty is fulfilled, however, he is absolutely angrier about it than you are. If it's not that serious, he won't skip straight to killing, if only because he knows it upsets you. He will definitely be writing an extremely strongly worded letter, however. If someone slighted you seriously, they're getting threatened. If someone hurt you physically, they're meeting the Punjab lasso.

Deacon Billings (OC Ghostface)

Deacon definitely knows when people are angry. His step-mom was a passive-aggressive laundry-folder and his dad was a storming out of the house kinda guy; when the two of them were together, they were all hushed but heated arguments at night when they thought he couldn't hear them, or else extremely embarrassing passive-aggressive arguments in public. Growing up, he found himself around a lot of angry people. And there's no shortage of anger in him, either.

So yeah, Deacon knows when people are pissed, and he knows when people are pissed at him. The thing is, he just thinks it's fucking hilarious. He was that kid that would goad peers and teachers just to be an asshole and had virtually no friends as a result. He's a menace on the internet, too: a horrible troll for no reason, stirring the pot even when he doesn't have a stake in the argument. He's trained himself to find people's weak spots so he can strike at them. He does it to make himself feel more in control of his life and his own anger.

So when you're ticked off, he's gonna notice the change immediately. If you made a vent post on social media, he probably knows you're angry before you even see him. He follows all your social media (even if you don't realize it) and checks it constantly. He'd call you out of curiosity to ask what happened. He's open about his stalking tendencies: "I saw your post, babe, who do I need to stab?"

If you otherwise come home angry, he'll be up on his feet, following you around the house and pestering you, trying to get you to tell him what's wrong. If you try to hug him, he won't push you away, but he'll be distracted, trying to needle answers out of you the whole time.

There's no question in his mind as to whether or not you're angry at him. He just assumes you're not; he has a pretty good handle on how you act when you're angry at him specifically.

He'll let you rant all day if you want. You could talk about the shit that's pissed you off for hours and he'd still listen. Outwardly, he might poke you a bit and play devil's advocate for the other side of the argument, if there is one. This is purely for the purposes of being a little shit.

Internally, he's already going down his pre-murder checklist. If it was someone at work, they're dead. Someone in the neighborhood, dead. Online? It'll take a couple days, but they're dead. Even if you're not angry at anyone in particular, just a situation, he'll find someone to menace. He'd walk through fire for your approval.

He's not good with soft, emotional comfort, so instead he'll try to think of something to help you let off steam. His go-to is something competitive, especially if it involves you chasing each other. A Nerf or water gun war, a PVP game with you on opposite sides. He'll put up a good fight, but you always kick his ass.

Once the immediate situation is addressed and you've ranted your heart out to him, he can't keep his hands off you. "Seeing you all pissed off drives me crazyyyyyy." He's grinning, brown eyes sparkling. "Come onnnnn ... I'll get it off your mind!"

Courtney Dwayne Delmont (OC)

Courtney is a hunter of all manner of game, so he's used to interpreting non-verbal cues and body language—when an animal is in distress, when an animal is about to attack, etc. His grandfather was a very angry man, as well, in a simmering sort of way. He would seethe about something before suddenly delivering one decisive strike. Courtney himself is not a particularly angry man, unless some prey is really giving him a hard time, but he can read your body.

If you come home angry, he'll stop in the middle of what he's doing and watch you, still and quiet, just confirming his suspicions. If you leave the room he's in to go collapse on the sofa or something, he'll follow you, looming over you and waiting for you to tell him what's wrong. He's patient.

If you want to vent, he'll sit and listen thoughtfully, doing something with his hands while you speak—probably cleaning his gun or some other weapon. He doesn't look at you. He wouldn't demand greater context to the situation but he would ask "Why?" and "Who?" until he understood Enough.

If you want comfort, he'll sprawl on the couch and let you lay on top of him. He'll probably pull a blanket on top of you to try and encourage a nap. If the nap doesn't make you feel better, he's feeding you protein. Do you like homemade jerky?

Sex is also on the table (not literally ... unless). He's found it's a great way to blow off steam, and he's more than happy to make all worries, troubles, and other thoughts go away for a little bit. Expect that to be the rest of your night, though, because he doesn't do quickies.

Generally, he trusts you to handle your own shit, so he would be more focused on you than whatever made you feel the way you do. However, if days passed and you were still angry/upset/sad, or if it plunged you into a breakdown or was an otherwise extremely serious situation ... just give him a target. It's up to you, but if you tell him to take the shot, it'll be quick and clean. If you're unable to make the decision, he'll decide for you without hesitation.

Kathleen Montgomery (OC)

I'm still developing her so this one won't be as in-depth and is subject to change.

Kath makes it her business to know everything about you. Chances are she's seen you explode screaming while stalking you ... chances are, if you've been in a relationship for a while, she's made you explode screaming. She knows what you look like when you're angry. Besides, she's strong for her size, but she often has to take down people who are much bigger and stronger than her; she uses manipulation and trickery to help ease that divide, so she's good at reading people.

Like Deacon, she also monitors all your social media, so if you made a vent post, she already knows you're in a shitty mood before you come home. Unlike Deacon, she doesn't tell you how she knows, so you're left to assume she's just all knowing. Considering her god complex, that works for her.

She'd probably text you to come home, and she expects you to answer. If you're unable to come home, she'll call you to ask what's wrong.

Once you're together, she wants to know everything about the situation. Even as you're speaking, she's already on her phone or laptop, looking up the people involved. Instead of getting mad on your behalf, she laughs. She's a fan of emphasizing how pathetic or weak the opposition is.

She takes your feelings on the subject seriously, but everyone else in the situation? Insects. Not even worthy of your time or concern, let alone hers. You're obviously in the right here (even if you're not). She'll tell you as much, and say some pretty intense, over-the-line things about whomever/whatever you're angry at.

Overall, however, she's calm and collected about the situation. Your bout of anger is a chance to get you to be reckless with her. She'll do your hair and makeup and dress you up nice, then take you out. Fast driving, drinking, baiting people at bars, menacing neighborhoods ... maybe a little killing, if you'd like.

***

Masterlist

[ogsherlockholmes]

Now that we’ve established Irene Adler is not the femme fatale overtly-sexualised stereotype that society created, please can we talk about a character that isn’t exactly that description, but is a lot closer to it. 

Violet de Merville. 

She’s involved in The Illustrious Client case (the one with the picture of Sherlock and Watson basically lying in bed together) and she’s interesting to say the least. The main plot of the story is that Baron Gruner has somehow made General de Merville’s daughter, Violet, fall in love with him, and Sherlock has been asked to break up the marriage. Gruner deserves a complete different post because there’s a lot to be said about him (to sum him up, he’s a complete asshole but he has some very cool lines) but Sherlock knows he has a criminal past and has mistreated all the women in his life. 

Anyway, when we meet Violet, we find out that she takes no one’s shit (apart from the criminal she is currently obsessed with but anyway) and could not care less about what Sherlock says. 

Sherlock describes her as ‘demure, pale, self-contained, as inflexible and remote as a snow image on a mountain’ and ‘She is beautiful, but with the ethereal other-world beauty of some fanatic whose thoughts are set on high’ which is a lot coming from Sherlock. 

So basically we’ve already got the impression that Sherlock is not going to make any impression on her. 

He then goes on to say ‘How a man beast could have laid his vile paws upon such a being of the beyond I can not imagine’ which also just shows that yes, there are women that Sherlock admired, and he wasn’t disrespectful and hateful to women like people think. 

Violet de Mervillle was this women that Sherlock was in awe of, had respect for, and was slightly intimidated by, with good reason too. When he tries speaking to her, she immediately dismisses him: “I warn you in advance that anything you can say could not possibly have the slightest effect upon my mind.”

Also, this is not me trying to imply that Irene Adler is not who Sherlock was in love with, but Violet de Merville was, because it’s clear Sherlock doesn’t feel that way about her. Violet fulfills the Irene Adler character more, but not to that extent. 

Sherlock says he feels sorry for her because he knows Gruner brainwashed her and ‘I thought of her for a moment  as I would have thought of a daughter of my own’. (He loves adopting people in his spare time) He also says how much he tried to convince her because he didn’t want her to be ‘caressed by bloody hands and lecherous lips’ which really proves Sherlock’s feelings about women in troubled marriages. He does not try to make her the villain at all, going on to say ‘All my hot words could not bring one tinge of colour to those ivory cheeks or one gleam of emotion to those abstracted eyes’, then saying she was practically in a dream, placing all the blame on Gruner. 

To which she basically replies by telling him to fuck off. 

He tried his best. 

But it has a good ending, because Violet doesn’t marry Gruner, but Gruner does end up with one of his exes throwing acid in his face instead. 

So yeah, Violet de Merville was a force to be reckoned with who made very stupid choices but still deserves more attention. 

[sanktyastag]

What you said about Aleksander not telling her what happened and why he left and I'll add to that not telling her how the fold was an accident etc is so blatantly a narrative mistep, there is no way to logically conclude "oh he didn't tell her because" what? it's entirely because her knowing those things would make her side with him or at the least understand his pov or worse make the whole "darkling is evil incarnate" while my kind is being murdered hunted and experimented on from 4 sides(cont)

[(cont) And it makes the fact that the hill these writers chose to die on is the fold which was accidental and then the only thing preventing even more atrocities to grisha used by the only person doing anything at all about it including their heroes who instead choose to support an absolutely corrupt monarchy who's done nothing but use an abuse them in numerous ways and then leave said minority even worse than they found them make even less sense than it already does.]

Oooh now here's a spicy take. I agree with you, anon, I feel like there's quite a bit of dissonance between how the show wants the characters to feel about the events that take place on screen, versus what it wants the audience to feel about those same events. Which wouldn't, necessarily, be a problem, except it never resolves the disparity between those two viewpoints, so we're left feeling disconnected from the goals of the protagonists.

I'm going to write an essay now, so it's going under a cut, lol.

The pitfall of SaB, I think, is that it often feels like the writers are trying to address and flesh out areas that the books themselves aren't really concerned with, whilst simultaneously staying true to the story as it's written on the page. And normally a show fleshing out an underdeveloped book concept would improve the story being told, except for the fact that the books are... almost wholly reliant on those things never being addressed in order for the events to take place the way that they do. The showrunners chose to engage with those dropped characters elements, so we now have conflict between the characters as they're presented to us, and the actual story being told.

Which is funny, because they had two different directions they could have expanded on Aleksander's character, and I feel like the show accidentally expanded on the wrong ones? I mean, I sure like what they had to say, but it doesn't really fit the story that they're trying to tell.

Because here's the thing. The books actually want Aleksander to be a sympathetic and well-intentioned character. The issue is that he's so disenfranchised with life that he's turned to extremism. He's caught up in this idea of saving his people, but "people" have become an abstract concept to him. He's looking at the long game so intently, he's blind to the real people in front of him who are suffering for his actions. And that's an interesting narrative to play with! It's so niche to the circumstances of having a character live through centuries of conflict, and distancing himself from the people he's trying to save as a defense mechanism to the endless trauma he's facing. Unfortunately, the books have no interest in engaging with that belief, so it's presented as an immutable fact of his character, rather than a flaw to be challenged, which renders it... much less interesting to read about.

So the weirdness lies within the show, then, expanding on the sympathetic aspects of Aleksander's character, instead of his flaws. They actually made him more involved with the lives of the Grisha he commands, they gave him more reason to attack Novokribirsk, by establishing Zlatan's army. They removed the layers of calculation and distance his book-self had, and made him very human and emotional, but then they continued to treat him as if he still had those book traits of being manipulative, ruthless, and amoral. Which is... disorienting.

Like, if they wanted to make him sympathetic while simultaneously demonizing his character, all they would have had to do was rearrange some scenes. Make it so that Aleksander's backstory is him explaining the creation of the fold to Alina. Throw the events into doubt by having it be told through an unreliable narrator (Aleksander himself), and bam, now it can be both backstory, and a way to manipulate a girl into feeling sorry for him. Same with the assassination attempt. Have him explain what happened and also have him use it as a way to engender trust with Alina, by instilling it with an us vs them agenda.

And then, just... let them have a full conversation. Instead of having Alina say that he's a monster beyond saving without ever discussing anything with him, give Aleksander a chance to explain, have Alina disagree with his methods, and have him force her to go along with them anyways. Bam. There's the story they wanted to tell, wrapped up in a neat little bow.

Of course, all that that fixes is the contradictions in their own story, not actually the quality of the story itself, imo. That's still a storyline that's only engaging with Aleksander's points at the most shallow, baseline level, which would allow them to tell that bland "radical freedom fighter is correct, but also burns down orphanages, so unfortunately we're going to have to side with the right-leaning centrist alternative" narrative that every corporation-run television show is so fond of these days.

But I mean. At least then I could consistently disagree with the story that's being told, instead of being left staring at my screen, trying to figure out if they want Aleksander to be redeemable or not, lol.

[khaleesiofalicante]

LIGHTWOOD BANES WEEK - MAGNUS & MAX

“How about Mexico?”

“No.”

“Hmmm. Madrid?”

“No.”

“Paris?”

“No.”

“They have a Disneyland there,” Magnus winked.

“I’m not eight anymore,” Max rolled his eyes.

“Who said Disneyland is just for kids?” Magnus demanded. “Alright then. What about Singapore?”

“No.”

“Okay then let’s keep it local and go to Los Angeles,” Magnus suggested. “You love the beach. And you can even hang out with Octavian.”

“No.”

“Max, why are you being difficult?” Magnus sighed.

“Because it’s my birthday,” Max pointed out. “Why should do I what you people want?”

“Well, we people are your family,” Magnus raised a brow. “We are just trying to make the day special for you! And you know it’s tradition. We go somewhere every year!”

“Well, traditions change,” Max snapped. “I don’t want to go anywhere. In fact, I don’t want to celebrate. So, enough with the planning!”

Magnus tried not to show his disappointment. He loved planning and he loved Max. Alec and Rafe were excited about the trip too – but it was Magnus who loved it the most.

The tradition had started on Max’s 8th birthday. They usually celebrated at home. But Magnus had suggested that maybe the Lightwood-Banes should visit a new country everywhere.

He loved it. He loved sharing little corners of the world he had once discovered on his own. Places that had blessed his eyes but broken his heart – because he had convinced himself that his wandering heart would only ever wander alone. So, he loved returning to those places with his family and silently whispering ‘I made it’ as he held his family close to him.

But Max was right. This wasn’t about Magnus. It was Max’s birthday.

“Okay. I’m sorry,” Magnus said now. “I didn’t mean to push you. We can just have a small par-”

“I SAID I DON’T WANT TO CELEBRATE!” Max yelled.

Magnus flinched.

He was used to temper tantrums.

The cute tantrums like the time when Max had cried when he had found out that Santa wasn’t real.

Even the ugly tantrums like the time when Max had fought with Alec after Rafael had gotten injured during a mission.

God, he was used to the temper tantrums.

But this one hit different – because Magnus couldn’t help but feel it had something do with him.

“Did I do something wrong?” Magnus asked quietly.

“No,” Max whispered. “You can’t help who you are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Magnus demanded.

“Nothing,” Max said. “Just…nothing.”

“Alright, blueberry,” Magnus said softly, and he saw Max wince. “We don’t have to celebrate if you don’t want to.”

“Good,” Max replied shortly.

Magnus should leave him alone. Max always came around after a couple of hours – or sometimes days.

There were still a few hours till his birthday – the day Alec and Magnus had found him in the academy.

But Magnus didn’t want to leave him alone. Max looked just as helpless and alone as he had all those years ago.

“Do you want to tell me why you don’t want to celebrate?” Magnus asked.

“Because I’m not a kid anymore,” Max pointed out.

“Birthdays are not just for children,” Magnus said with a chuckle. “I mean look at me. I’m 900 and I still celebrate my birthday.”

“You’re not 900,” Max rolled his eyes. “And that’s cause you love parties. You threw a party when dad got his first grey hair.”

Because throwing a party is sometimes easier than crying in the bathroom, Magnus wanted to say.

“This is not about parties,” Magnus pointed out. “It’s about you. Why do you not want to celebrate your birthday?”

“Why are you making a big deal out of this?” Max demanded. “It’s not even my real birthday.”

“It’s real to us,” Magnus said, trying not to sound hurt. “Besides, that has never stopped you before. We had so much fun in Shanghai last year. Maybe we could go bac-”

“Bapa,” Max said. “I said no.”

Magnus had taught both his children to say no – to things they didn’t like and to things that made them uncomfortable. He never wanted them to do things that they didn’t want to do.

“Of course,” Magnus nodded and got off the bed. “Okay.”

“It’s not just this year,” Max said when Magnus opened the door. “I never want to celebrate my birthday again.”

Magnus closed it back. No. this conversation was not over.

“Never is an awfully long time, Max,” Magnus said carefully. “Especially for a warlock.”

Max just stayed quiet. Magnus walked over to his and sat down next to him.

Unlike Raphael, who was tall, lean and lithe, Max was broader. He was still tall of course. All Lightwood-Banes were above six feet – a fact Clary was not particularly happy about.

“I know something is bothering you,” Magnus said gently. “If you don’t want to talk to me about it, that’s okay. But at least talk to your dad.”

“I’d rather not,” Max replied. “What good is talking going to do?”

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” Magnus laughed.

Max was quiet again.

“Blue,” Magnus called softly. “What is it? Talk to Bapa.”

Max took a shuddering breath. “I…I don’t wanna grow old.”

And Magnus’ breath hitched.

He knew those words. He feared those words. He had been preparing for a long time to hear those words.

From Alec. From Rafe.

But they had never said it – and Magnus hoped they never will. A part of him was secretly glad that the discussion didn’t come up. He was relieved that the nightmare was over.

But hearing those words from Max – the last one person expected it from – pushed him right back into his nightmare.

“Is it David?” Magnus asked, feeling confused “But I thought you’d be happy about this. You and David both get to grow old together.”

David had been Max’s first boyfriend – and the only person he had loved. Magnus knew they had something special. He had been worried that Max would have a fate similar to his – stumbling around searching for love for centuries and losing all hope.

But Max had taken up after Alec. He had found his love on the very first try. Magnus was glad for these small blessings. He was glad Max didn’t have to stumble.

“Did something happen with David?” Magnus prompted when Max didn’t talk. “Did you guys…have a fight or something?”

Max looked down. “Everything is fine with David. I told him why I didn’t want to celebrate. He understood.”

“And you think I won’t?” Magnus asked. “Come on, blueberry.”

Max winced again. He looked up at him directly then, his blue eyes mournful. “What if you stop calling me that?”

“Why would I ever stop calling you that?” Magnus asked.

“Because I’m growing older,” Max replied quietly. “Tomorrow I’ll be officially older than you are.”

Magnus hadn’t even realized.

Unlike mortals, warlocks looked at age as an abstract concept. It didn’t make sense after a while. Like most things.

Magnus had simply assumed that Max would feel that way. But Max was still very young. He hadn’t lived long enough to understand the beauties and absurdities that came with being an immortal.

“I don’t want to grow old,” Max said again. “I don’t wanna grow older than you.”

“Oh, Max,” Magnus pulled him closer. “It doesn’t change anything.”

“Doesn’t it?” Max demanded, his eyes still teary. “How about if I only stop aging when I’m 40?”

“Well, maybe that’s a good thing,” Magnus pointed, ignoring the lump in his throat. “It means David can grow-”

“Not everything is about David,” Max sounded angry. “What about you? What about us?”

“You’re always going to be my son, Max,” Magnus promised. “How you look isn’t going to change that.”

Max looked away.

“I promise,” Magnus urged. “It doesn’t make a difference to me.”

“I’m sorry, Bapa,” Max whispered.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I…I don’t want to make it any harder for you.”

“You’re not making anything harder,” Magnus chastised. “Why would you even think that?”

“Because everyone keeps growing up around you,” Max sniffled. “You already have to deal with dad and Rafe. I thought me being a warlock would make things easier. But apparently I was wrong.”

Magnus had thought so too.

But his life had never been easier. It had been a long one. A difficult one. But he liked where he was right now. He wouldn’t trade any of it for anything.

“I tried to do something about it,” Max said hesitantly. “I went to the shadow market and tried to see if I can stop ag-”

“You did what?” Magnus demanded. “Max, you can’t change who you are. Not for me. Not for anyone.”

“But I-”

“But nothing,” Magnus interrupted, feeling angry and terrified all at the same time. “I know people who have tried using this kind of magic – warlocks and mundanes. It doesn’t end well. I don’t want you dabbling with dark magic, Max. Do you hear me?”

“Yes,” Max said in a small voice.

“Please,” Magnus said. “It’s dangerous. If something happened to you…Please promise me you won’t try anything like that again.”

“I won’t,” Max said. “I promise.”

Then they were both quiet. Magnus wasn’t used to that.

“It doesn’t matter whether you are a warlock or a shadowhunter or mundane,” Magnus pointed out after a while. “These are things beyond all our control. We need to accept them as they come.”

“It’s hard,” Max only said.

And for some reason Magnus laughed. “Yes. Yes, it is.”

Max rested his head on Magnus’ shoulder. He was just the right height. But Magnus knew it wouldn’t always be that way. Max was still growing.

“It is hard when everyone around you keeps growing up,” Magnus said. “It makes you feel so young and so ancient at the same time. It makes you feel like you are standing still while everyone is running towards something. But it is the life we were given. It’s part of our magic. It’s part of who we are. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“So you don’t mind…You don’t mind me growing older? You’re not mad?”

“Of course not,” Magnus said. “Max, this is something you can’t control. I would never hold it against you. That’s hardly fair.”

“I wish I could control it,” Max whispered.

“I know,” Magnus smiled. “But there are lots of other things you can control.”

“Like what?”

“Like whether you are going to let this ruin your birthday,” Magnus grinned. “Besides, I’m still very much older than you. I’m basically 800.”

“You said you were 900 five minutes ago,” Max laughed softly. 

“Ah, it’s hard to keep track of these things,” Magnus shrugged. “I'm such an old, old man.” 

Max rolled his eyes. “You promise you’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” Magnus promised. “You’re still with me, aren't you – wrinkles and all.”

“I don’t have wrinkles!” Max said indignantly.

“Well, you might,” Magnus shrugged. “And probably crows feet too.”

“I see you are once again using humor to deal with the angst,” Max pointed out dryly.

“Always,” Magnus winked.

Max smiled, just a little.

“Listen to me,” Magnus took his blue hands in his. “It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you look like. You will always be my blueberry.”

“Promise?” Max asked, his voice small.

“I promise,” Magnus smiled.

“Even if my hair turns white and I get…crows feet,” Max chuckled. “What if I only stop aging when I’m 50? When I look like your father? You won’t find it strange?”

Magnus remembered the day they had found Max. The first time Alec had mentioned the topic of marriage. The first time Magnus had realized that maybe happily ever after was a possibility for someone like him.

He still remembered the words Alec had whispered to him that night, as they both rested beneath the crib, where Max was sound asleep.

“It would be strange,” Magnus smiled now. “But I never want a less strange love.”

Max choked back a sob and threw his arms around Magnus. “I love you. Bapa.”

“I love you too, blueberry,” Magnus whispered.

Max held him closer for a long while and Magnus let him. He wasn’t going to let him go – not now. Not ever.

It would be the two of them one day and they had to get used to holding onto each other.

“Now about this trip,” Magnus said, as he pulled back.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” Max rolled his eyes fondly.

“Oh, come on!” Magnus complained. “We hardly go on family vacations anymore. You and Rafe are too old and too cool to hang out with your parents.”

“Fine,” Max put his hands up. “But I get to choose.”

“Anywhere you want,” Magnus promised.

“Alright then,” Max said, his eyes no longer tearful, just plain wicked. “I want to go to Peru.”

[ohmyasmodeus]

𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘮 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 ❖

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘳 ; 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘳𝘵

✧   Sure, Lucifer is looking forward to appreciating art and the history behind each piece, but he finds himself much more excited to spend more time alone with you. History can be preserved, but every moment spent with you is simply irreplaceable; he ends up surprisingly spending more time gazing at you than admiring the artwork.

✧   You make him feel young again. In between displays, he sneaks kisses, mischievously pulling you away from the crowds just to hold you in his arms for a stolen moment. Lucifer adores the way you fall into his arms with soft laughter, and it makes him cradle your face between his gloved hands while he whispers about the way everyone looks at you like you’re a work of art.

“But do you?” You ask softly.

“I always do, ______.” Silhouetted by the gallery lights, he pulls you into a tender kiss full of emotion; a moment that no doubt belongs among the displays of beauty and immortality that surround you.

✧   Lucifer is the kind of person to actually read the little plaques beside the pieces that go into detail about the artist and the intentions behind their art. It takes a while for him to take it all in, but you don’t mind— it’s very cute to see him have to bend down and squint to read them.

✧   Your day hardly ends there. Even as he takes you home, he very much enjoys discussing your opinions on the works included in the gallery and the artists behind them. It’s Lucifer’s way of getting closer, trying to decipher how your mind works, how you view art pieces that are open to multiple interpretations. It’s his favourite part. He loves you and your brilliant mind.

♡ 𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯 ; 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 / 𝘢𝘳𝘵

✧   Your demon is the definition of a kinaesthetic learner. Mammon fits right in with the kids that run around the place, tugging on your hand as he begs you to come play these games with him! He never wants to do anything without you and you end up being basically dragged around the museum. But it’s okay because he’s cute!

✧   While surrounded by so many people, it’s even easier for him to get flustered about affection. His cheeks flush red whenever he thinks too hard about holding your hand, whether it’s to bring you somewhere, or just to hold your hand for the sake of it. The back of his fingers brush against yours, making you smile.

“Hm? What do you want to show me?” you ask as you take his hand to intertwine your fingers with his.

Mammon fidgets with his free hand before shoving it into his jacket pocket, looking away with a brilliant blush. His voice is quiet as he mumbles, “N-nothing, I just… wanted to hold your hand. Or whatever.”

✧   He’s much smarter than people like to give him credit for at times, and surprises you with bits of information he picks up that you couldn’t understand. At the same time, it’s hard to stop him from gushing about how cool it was to see that chunk of sodium explode when dropped in water and how he wants to watch that over and over again.

✧   Mammon runs wild in the gift shop, especially at those little archaeology or mining kits that let you dig through hunks of sand that claim to contain a piece of gold. Of course, there are a million things the both of you want to buy for yourselves, but so little money to do so with. He settles for something small in the end, because he wants to be able to buy something small for his brothers too.

♡ 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 ; 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦

✧   From the beginning, Leviathan is absolutely fascinated. The calming atmosphere of the museum and being completely surrounded by his element makes Levi relax, even if he’d normally panic and try to hide from the people that walk along the exhibitions with you. But even then, you make sure to hold his hand just to reassure him a little more.

✧   Just like he rants about pretty much anything he has an interest in, Levi rants about the equipment on display and compares weapons or ships from different eras to each other, as if he’s talking about mere video game stats. It’s actually kind of hot to see him act like the Grand Admiral of hell’s navy is supposed to.

✧   Treat him like a Grand Admiral, actually. His brain totally short circuits when you lean into him and put a hand on his chest and gasp about how knowledgeable and strong he is.

“Oh captain, my captain!” you sing as you pepper his face in kisses, making him squirm in your arms. His face is beet red as he attempts to cover it with his hands.

“People are- they’re going to see us!” Levi whines.

You laugh and kiss him properly, arms wrapped around him tight. “That’s the point, baby! I like it when people know I’m yours.”

✧   He actually gets a little sad when he sees the bones of massive whales or the various preserved remains of sea life on display. They all feel like a part of him. At times, he feels like sea animals understand him much better than people do, and he has to give your hand a squeeze as the two of you through the section. At least he brightens up when you tell him that most of these specimens die a natural death or were cared for during their life.

♡ 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘯 ; 𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺

✧   His choice of museum goes without explanation. Humans are frail creatures that are essentially doomed to make the same mistakes again and again, despite a new era or millennia, but Satan still finds their history remarkable. He’s fascinated with seeing the butterfly effect ripple through time, sparking wars and conflicts. It makes him wonder about the universe’s decisions— especially the ones that brought you to him.

✧   Satan has always been more fond of reading the ancient texts on display or translating archaic inscriptions on bronze age charms, but when he’s with you, he finds himself more drawn to the elegant gowns and elaborately crafted jewellery on display. You always find his emerald eyes lingering on you, imagining what you would look like in something so grand. Your beauty stuns him in every way, especially with the way you smile at him while framed by the display’s lights.

✧   “I thought you wanted to learn,” you mumble with a quiet laugh into the kiss that Satan pulls you into. The two of you are wrapped in each other’s arms in the back of a crowded amphitheatre, making an attempt to watch a historical film.

In the darkness, Satan’s blush goes unseen, but you feel it in the heat of his face as you kiss him back eagerly. “I’ve learned enough about humans, ______. I want to focus on my favourite one now.”

You close your eyes, and so does he. History couldn’t matter less, not when it feels like the two of you are the only beings to exist, the only people that matter.

✧   Despite wanting to learn, Satan finds himself getting dragged into shenanigans with you as you voice historical figures with the goofiest accents and clown around with some of the interactive props. He laughs along and snaps a million pictures of you to keep, and he supposes that humans aren’t the only ones that make recurring mistakes. After all, he lets you loosen him up and lets you force your way into his heart time and time again, but he still can’t force himself to complain about it.

♡ 𝘢𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘶𝘴 ; 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘰𝘯

✧   Beauty in its different forms has always mesmerised Asmodeus. Museums have never been his thing, but with a fashion museum, you might just be able to change his mind. He goes between gushing about the textures and layering of different pieces to gushing about you and how amazing you look today!

✧   Asmo is always on top of the latest trends, but there’s something that always brings him back to the ostentatious allure of baroque and rococo dresses. He loves reading about the rise of these styles, but he would rather pull you along into a waltz as the quiet ambient music plays around you, the both of you giggling and referring to each other as ‘lord’ and ‘lady’.

✧   Or ‘your majesty’ and ‘my consort’...

✧   You, as always, expect him to pull you away somewhere quiet to make out and be general public nuisances, but Asmodeus surprises you this time. He’s far too busy taking pictures of you together and of just you alone, his amber gaze so soft as he contemplates your beauty. He ends up leaning in serenely as the two of you find yourselves alone together in a gallery.

“You’re gorgeous,” Asmo mumbles with a smile, delicately tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. “There’s just something so magnetic about you, I can’t look away…”

“I don’t have to say it back because you know you’re handsome and your ego is big enough... but there’s nothing that can compare to how lovely your soul is.” You chuckle softly, resting a hand affectionately on the side of his face. Asmo rests his forehead against yours, wrapping his arms around the back of his neck with a delighted giggle, delighted in knowing that you see him beyond his superficialities and flaws.

✧   He buys you a set of jewellery from the gift shop, and not one of the cheap ones either. He splurges on one of the most expensive professionally made vintage sets because he really wants to daydream about you dancing with him in those rococo dresses, the most gorgeous royal couple in the world…

♡ 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘻𝘦𝘣𝘶𝘣 ; 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘵

✧   Delighted by the more colourful and almost bizarre applications of mixed-media art (think Yayoi Kusama), Beelzebub enjoys contemporary art the most. He’s easily fascinated with the elaborately abstract displays, and quietly wraps his arm around your waist as the two of you gawk at stunning larger-than-life works that probably get him a little hungry.

✧   He’s a respectful visitor and likes to stay silent so he doesn’t disturb the quiet atmosphere for everyone else appreciating the art. It ends up in him having to lean down and murmur softly in your ear when he has something to tell you, his warm arms pulling you into an embrace that you never want to leave.

✧   Workshops! Please bring Beel to the workshops because they’re his favourite part of museums. No matter how hungry he gets while putting in so much effort, he’ll sit still and work hard to make you something you can treasure.

“Do you like it?” he asks with a smile as he presents you with a little figurine version of one of the sculptures featured in the exhibition, hand painted by him. It’s easy to notice how the colours he picked out match your features. “It’s yours.”

“I love it, Beel! Oh, it’s wearing my coat and everything!” you gasp. The elated smile he gives you is absolutely priceless, and you can’t help but tiptoe to kiss him in thanks for his hard work.

Beel lets out a soft laugh and nuzzles his cheek into yours. “I really liked the art, but it felt like something was missing… Maybe the exhibition would’ve been a lot more beautiful if you were an art piece on display too.”

✧   Bringing him to a museum like that just might inspire him to create art by himself. After creating something for you, he feels hooked on it! You find him doodling a lot more on his homework and giving you the most endearing drawings of things you like, or his own hilarious renditions of what Lucifer looks like when he’s about to burst a blood vessel. Beel definitely has a hidden talent for caricatures.

♡ 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘨𝘰𝘳 ; 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺

✧   Humans? Belphegor has had enough of them for a lifetime and can’t be bothered with learning more about them, but natural history is something that captivates him. There’s a kind of innocent wonder in his eye as you lead him around the exhibitions, marvelling at the displayed remains of the massive creatures that came before, wondering how they evolved into the tiny little animals of today. (But it’s probably also morbid curiosity with the way he looks at preserved carcasses and skeletons.)

✧   But you’re an exception to him. He's tired of humans but never of you, even if he jokes about it at times. Even if he knows about most of the things on display, Belphie is still asking you to tell him about them because he just loves hearing your voice. Coupled with the soothing silence of the museum, it almost puts him to sleep.

✧   “Don’t fall asleep! You paid to watch this!” you whisper when Belphie rests his head on your shoulder. You want to pay attention to the dinosaurs beating the shit out of each other in the surprisingly well-rendered 3D documentary, but you can’t help but gaze at your boyfriend instead, and the way he looks in those dumb 3D glasses.

“I won’t,” he mumbles, rolling his eyes. “You’re warm.”

“You’re a little leech, you know that?” Despite your snarky tone, you lift up the partition between the theatre’s seats to let Belphie snuggle into you. Just like a leech, he’s immediately all over you with his arms wrapped tight around your waist, chuckling as he buries his face in your neck.

✧   You wouldn’t expect it, but he’s also the kind to go wild in the gift shop, albeit in more subtle ways— like staring really hard at something or carrying something only to put it down for you to get the hint. He ends up getting the both of you a big plushy to cuddle and name on the way home.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[variousqueerthings]

Johnny and ADHD

alright, I’ve wanted to write something about ADHD Johnny for awhile now.

Waaay back in February @deliciousbananavoidpurse made this post and I made some haphazard additions, but now, at last, I ramble!

This isn’t really an addition to that list so much as a... idk, seeing it from an almost fic-but-kind-of-meta point of view. Those points In Practise, with an additional young Johnny.

1.

Johnny’s a kid. He and his mom have been living hand-to-mouth for as long as he remembers, in and out of schools, in and out of apartments and cars. Of course he’s going to be flighty, spaced-out, unfocused.

He’s an easy target – not very big (he doesn’t get a lot of good meals), dirty clothes, and… weird. He gets beaten up sometimes, but mostly he sticks as much to himself as he can and doesn’t go to school if he can help it. Laura saves up and gets him a walkman.

After that it’s like the world doesn’t exist to him at all.

She thinks that’s easier than trying to make him live in it. But he deserves better. They both do. So she makes a decision that changes everything…

2.

Johnny’s not going hungry these days. In fact, he eats constantly, like he’s making up for lost time. His clothes are new and he gets anything he wants. He’s enrolled in school properly.

But Johnny himself doesn’t change much. He’s vibrating with an energy he can’t explain – normal for boys – he skips school, he goes off somewhere in his own mind, struggles with making friends, gets into fights he can’t win, and all day he listens to music. Still skinny, still flighty, still weird.

Tries new things that become all-encompassing for him and drops them one day to the next – normal for boys, all normal for boys – and then -

3.

Johnny sees those boys: Tall, broad, leather jackets, rad bikes, shining, beautiful. He watches them through the window for hours, transfixed in a way only riding his bike and listening to music used to do. 

He joins Cobra Kai.

And finally, like a dam breaking, he focuses. He focuses like he’s a machine. Like nothing else matters. He takes everything happening at home, every beating he ever took, every failing grade (he tries, but school never manages to matter – the other Cobras help, simply by being there and sometimes especially Bobby forces him to sit down and write a paper, but he’ll never be smart, that’s fine), and he puts them into his fist.

He trusts Kreese to tell him what to think, what to feel, what to do. Finally, finally, everything makes sense. It’s just him and his body and someone he trusts telling him what to do with it. 

Nothing else matters.

4.

There are other things that matter. 

He’s getting his life in order so he can leave Sid’s and take his Mom with him. He’s going to be the right kind of boyfriend to Ali. He’ll do well enough in his final year to make up for the previous ones, and he’s got karate, and Kreese, who’s telling him he’s the champ. 

Who he can trust.

But he gets into trouble, he drinks, his grades continue to slip, and suddenly (or is it gradually, he can’t tell with time sometimes) Ali is telling him he’s changed – angry, volatile, forgetful, (okay he was always forgetful, but it’s getting worse – is karate the only thing he cares about?), but it’s fine, he can fix that too. He just has to change everything that doesn’t work. If he can be that good at karate, it just means he’s not trying hard enough everywhere else. Just needs to try harder.

Just. Easy. He has a plan. He has a hundred plans.

5.

It all blows up in his face and suddenly he’s faced with the truth: that there really is nothing he’s good for. Karate? What’s that ever gotten him? What else has he got to show for it? 

He’s still just the same kid he was – alright, he’s bigger, babes will stop and check him out, he’s learned how to charm people if he has to, but those are just scripts and they don’t work for long if he doesn’t have anything else to back them up and they bore him - they bore him in ways he thinks have gotta be different to what everyone else means when they say they’re bored. 

He doesn’t have a plan. He has a hundred plans. He doesn’t have anyone to tell him what to do. He doesn’t know what to do. He knows what to do.

He drinks more. What does it matter, he’s young, life’s short, there’s nothing he can learn now (and really, if you know a couple of things you can scrape by – when they turn off the lights he knows he forgot to pay the bills, when he gets arrested he knows he fucked up and let his emotions get away with him), and before he knows it it’s 2002.

6.

His mom dies. Robby is born. Someone smarter than him could figure out some kind of poetic meaning behind that, but he’s not smart, so he just lets the moments pass him by like everything else has passed him by.

He’s getting by with what he knows. The world outside is like a blur. He’s got what he’s always had: music, a car, his looks. He’s doing okay for someone in his mid-thirties who doesn’t know how to boil spaghetti and drinks first thing in the morning.

 Probably all the fighting. He kept it up, informally. Maybe because it’s too deep in his bones for him to let go of, even if it just reminds him over and over that he couldn’t take it. That he can’t take it.

He fights whenever it all gets to be too much and even the drinking doesn’t work. Sometimes he punches walls to fight himself. It’s like a sharp feeling that he can’t ignore that can only be silenced with fighting. The off-button.

7.

2017 (again, the past is a blur. 2017? what happened to thirty-five? What happened to being young? Someone who’s young is allowed to be like this, but he’s…)

He never owned a computer. He never learned new words or anything else that wasn’t immediately important. He makes a handshake deal, because his credit is shit, but also because he never figured out how contracts really work. He still struggles with bills (you can leave anything to the last minute and beyond and things can still turn out okay), struggles with communication. His old scripts don’t work any more and he can’t learn new ones. He’s forgotten enough promises he made to watch Robby’s matches or drive him to school – even his birthday sometimes, even when he writes it down and forgets where he wrote it down - that Robby wants nothing more to do with him. Forgets groceries. 

He’ll do or say something and people will look at him like he’s stupid and he doesn’t know why. He refuses to ask, because he just wants the looks to go away. He knows he’s stupid. He knows he can’t figure things out. He knows, okay? Shut up.

He’s not an alcoholic. He just drinks to wake up. To forget. To calm down (that electricity that existed in his body as a kid never went away, even though he’s so so tired. The machine inside of him that won’t shut off without a fight, won’t let him stop moving). To sleep. To drink. To do something.

He sees Miguel and has a hundred new plans. He sees the future like it’s right there and a million miles away. He was never good at implementing long-term plans. He thinks maybe karate can save him, just like it did when he was a kid. 

8.

There’s something wrong with his brain. Has been all his life. That’s not how he was told, he was given a bunch of tests and gently informed – undiagnosed it can lead to some of the problems you’ve had, it’s normal, it’s okay – like he’s dying of cancer. But that’s the gist of it. He didn’t fuck up because he didn’t try hard enough, he was always going to fuck up. That doesn’t make him feel better.

It means quitting the alcohol is gonna fail. It means he really is stupid. It means he could’ve never been the kid his mom needed. It means he was easy for Kreese to manipulate. It means Robby could be fucked up too and he’s failed him again. It means he’s not worth the time and pain that people invest in him, like his mom, Ali, Shannon, Robby, Bobby, Miguel, Carmen, Daniel -

“Hey.”

It means he’s got Emotional Dysregulation. Translated: he’s the kind of man who has to work extra hard not to cry (explains why he was such a pussy as a kid. Also explains all the pain in his chest and throat right before roughly... 70% of his most recent fights). And fuck, he just failed.

“What?” Anger is better. It’s also a dysregulation apparently, but it’s better than being weak.

“It’s okay,” says Daniel, and of course he’d think that – he’s never seen a nameable problem he didn’t wanna fix, but didn’t you hear LaRusso, you can’t fix this. Never could. 

“It’s not about fixing,” answers Daniel. “It’s about understanding. It’s about knowing who you are. If you know who you are, you can make a choice.”

“What kinda choice do I have?”

Daniel shrugs. “You chose to take in Miguel. You chose not to fight me, more times than I chose to fight you in the last couple of years. You chose that you wanted to know who you were. And you chose to try being sober. Those are all good decisions in my book. Anything else… we can figure things out from here. Trust me.”

He places a hand on the back of Johnny’s neck, grounding him. Daniel has that power. The power to make everything okay for a second. 

Johnny thinks: Please tell me what to do. I was always okay once you gave me something to do. Like karate. Figuring things out is… too abstract. Eventually though, he knows, if he’s patient, Daniel will tell him what to do next. 

He just has to trust him.

9. (Extra: things Johnny does, because of the brain he has)

Johnny trusts easily, despite it all. He’s honest (and sometimes too literal). He’s passionate. He’s driven. He’s loving. He feels, so so much. He’s protective and he’s loyal. He tries his hardest, even when everything – including his own brain – refuses to help. He believes in second chances for others (and he’s beginning to believe in it for himself). He’s good with kids when he lets himself be. He’s learning to be gentle with himself and others. He’s learning that bravery takes many shapes. He’s learning that he can learn, and he’s learning what he needs for that to happen. He’s a good mentor. He’s learning to be a better friend. He’s kind. He’s honourable. He’s trying to rectify his own mistakes, and he’s trying not to let the mistakes of others continue to impact his life. He’s moving forwards.