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#doesn't matter what it is because there always will be the one thing
kittyfrisk9 · 2 days
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IdeaDpxDc: A nice moment with a sleep demon.
Note: Sorry, I don't know English, so please use a translator. I apologize if you don't get the idea.
Dead On Main.
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Danny accidentally absorbed some of Nocturn's powers (like in the Vortex episode), and now, with these new temporary abilities, why not take advantage of them? Like a kid with a new toy, Danny (or should I say Phantom: with a new design) has fun every night going from dream to dream.
The dream world is so strange! Without the constant threat of a dream entity trying to take over the world and all that. Now he has fun exploring the most unusual parts of his classmates' subconscious, or anyone's in general.
Even though he knows he shouldn't be doing this (after all, he's a responsible adult now), spying on other people's dreams isn't exactly something a mature person would do.
On the other hand, Danny is the responsible adult; Phantom is the one who uses his new powers recklessly. Plus, no one in Gotham knows who Phantom is, and at the end of the day, he's not hurting anyone. Point in his favor!
It was all fun and games… until he felt it: the unpleasant taste of a nightmare, distressing and desperate. Phantom knows he has to intervene, because, unlike Nocturn, he does not delight in the suffering of others.
So he goes. And what he sees shocks him.
Resonant laughter of a psychopath, the constant pain of flesh being beaten, and the devastating reminder that no one came to help. Phantom doesn't just see it, he feels it. Gross. What is this? Why would anyone be hurting a child? Then he understands: this is not just a nightmare, it's a memory, and someone is suffering from reliving it.
He absolutely will not allow this nightmare to continue.
...
Jason hasn't been having good days lately, mostly because instead of going to therapy, he's chosen to sweep his trauma under the rug and aggressively throw himself into crime-fighting. He's not good at dealing with his emotions, especially when he's been tormented by the same damn nightmare over and over again.
He knows the script by heart, he knows how it will end, but he still feels the same fear as the first time.
His head hurts.
"No, not again," he thinks in terror. Once again, he's tied up, unable to move or call for help. It's colder than he remembers. The walls have a grotesque tint, with laughter written in every corner. But the worst thing is the silence… until the sound of clashing metal begins to resonate.
Everything is a thousand times worse. He's sure the original scenario wasn't like this, but his terrified mind refuses to accept it.
The metallic sound resonates louder, each crash rumbling in Jason's chest. His breathing quickens, and then he hears it: that laugh.
A deep, distorted echo of laughter that seems to come from every direction. The laughter snakes around the grotesque walls, filled with the same letters that repeat his agony. “Ha… ha… ha…” fills the air, louder with each invisible step that approaches.
Then, he appears.
It’s not the Joker he remembers from that fateful night. This one is worse. Bigger, more deformed, with a smile that seems to tear at his own face. The colors of his suit are darker, more twisted. It’s as if his mind has amplified him, made him more monstrous.
“My, my, how little Robin has grown? But… something remains the same, doesn’t it? No matter how many times you live it, it always ends the same way. And to think that you were my greatest work of art!”
His voice is mocking, but behind the mockery is pure cruelty, a wicked amusement that lights up in those crazy eyes.
The Joker leans towards Jason, his face invading the small distance between them. The sound of metal continues to echo, and Jason knows what's coming next.
"Oh, I almost forgot…" he says, pulling out of nowhere an iron crowbar that gleams in the dim light of the nightmare. "It wouldn't be a good memory without this, would it?"
That's when the pain begins. Jason doesn't want to scream, and he won't. Even though that abominable creature is just a representation of his killer, he won't give him the luxury of listening to him suffer. The blows continue, and Jason bites his tongue. It's just a nightmare, it's not real… it's not real.
It's not real.
It's not real.
It's not-
"Hey… Are you okay?" he hears him ask. His shocked gaze turns to where the clown should be and discovers that he's gone. In his place, there's a handsome young man: short, slightly messy black hair, expressive purple eyes, and a body almost completely shrouded in dark shadows.
The mysterious man had a cosmic air about him, surrounded by a mix of special effects of stars and galaxies. Something magical.
And new.
Jason honestly doesn't know what he's seeing, or why he's seeing it. "What?" he says, unable to find another word to describe his situation.
The entity laughs at his stunned state, a reassuring echo very different from the joker's laughter. Then he snaps his fingers, and suddenly he's no longer in that ugly room. He's now in a field of flowers, beautiful and vibrant, looking out at a starry sky.
Okay, this is the part where he asks his brain how he went from being in a nightmare to being with a handsome guy under the stars, hands free and untethered.
"Relax, you're not crazy," the being says as he lies back in the grass. “You were in pain, and I didn’t like it, so I got you out of there. Don’t worry, that abomination won’t bother you again.”
Jason blinks twice, bewildered, not understanding anything. “You… saved me?”
“You could say yes.”
“Why?” He shakes his head. “No, wait, that’s not the question. Who…?” Looking back at the being, he decides to change his question: “What are you?”
He seems to have taken the being by surprise.
It clasps its hands together as it looks up at the sky, trying to act normal. Jason narrows his eyes. “You can call me Void.”
“Did you just make up that name?”
The being looks away, seemingly embarrassed at being found out. “Yeah…” And suddenly exclaims, “Ah, ancients! I'm not supposed to be doing this, much less with one of the bats."
That last sentence had given away more than it should have.
"Hey, how about we admire the night view and then pretend this never happened?" Void suggested with a hopeful smile, turning to Jason.
Maybe it was the soft scent of the flowers, the calm atmosphere, or just the tiredness after so many nights of endless nightmares, but Jason, without thinking too much about it, walked over, lay down next to Void on the grass, and said, "No."
He needed a break.
...
And that's how Jason befriended a dream demon. And how Danny pretended to be a dream demon until Nocturn's powers wore off. He couldn't let the bats find out his identity.
After that, they spent more time together, fell in love, there was drama and there was closure. In the middle of all that, Danny started having tea with Alfred in the dream world, and at other times, he had fun bothering the other bats in their dreams.
But that's another story.
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Note: Sorry, I don't know English, so please use a translator. I apologize if you don't get the idea.
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genderqueerdykes · 2 days
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for people who are often in need of food and/or find themselves in a food emergency, it's more than okay to utilize your food bank. there are no requirements, it doesn't matter if you're totally homeless, on disability, disabled with little/no income, working under the table, a parent in need of help, working but poor, working and barely making ends meet, mentally ill, neurodivergent, or other situations where food is difficult to keep on the table, you are more than welcome to show up and get some food
some food banks require you to have proof of address (i know, it sucks) but in some cities some homeless shelters have the option for homeless folk to get their mail sent to the shelter's P.O. boxes, which will give you the "proof of address" they need, which is usually just some form of mail received at an address. always check with your local food bank to see what documents they require, if any, when possible
some food banks don't require any of that. some do require that you have a car so you can drive through and get boxes, but many do on-foot distribution. some even have delivery options. one of my food banks here does deliveries. it's worth looking into whatever you have going on in your local area if you struggle to keep food in your home. especially fresh fruits and vegetables. i can finally keep a steady supply of vegetables because i'm able to walk to a distribution a block away that happens every friday. it's been a blessing now that i have to cook all of my meals COMPLETELY from scratch to ensure i dont encounter trigger foods
engagement helps these types of programs stay afloat. the more people who show up, the more resources they will get. the government or whatever body runs these organizations need to know the community wants/needs these services in order to continue operating. don't feel bad if you stop by and grab some things if you're genuinely struggling to buy food and keep it around. it's okay to utilize these programs, that's what they're there for.
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authorhjk1 · 3 days
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Punishment
(Handong X Male Reader)
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"So what? It's not like you're my boyfriend."
"You're right. I'm not."
You take a good look at Handong's stage outfit. It was already slutty to begin with. A sports bra, a see through jacket, loose pants and even her panties sticking out.
"But I don't want everyone to stare at what's mine."
"Yours?"
Handong furrows her brows.
"Yes. Mine."
You take a step closer, the two of you standing almost nose to nose. Well, if Handong was taller.
"I might be Jiu's boyfriend. But you all agreed to satisfy me, whenever and wherever. And I don't like you showing off what is only ment for me."
"Really? What about Yooheyon then?"
Handong's snappy tone makes you roll your eyes. Here we go again. With this never ending I-throw-another-member-under-the-bus-so-I'm-not-the-only-one-getting-punished thing.
"I will take care of Yooheyon's ass later. But I'm here for yours now."
Handong's cheeks turn pink. She always becomes this shy and pure whenever you tell her that you want her. It's cute, no doubt. But it's the total opposite of who she really is.
Her eyes wander to the bag in your hand, which she glanced at occasionally since you walked into her room. And finally you open it up. The young woman can feel her whole body becoming warmer as you take out a big bottle of lube. You put it into her hand without looking up, too busy with taking out the next item.
Handong herself is still looking at the bottle, too focused on imagining if she can take your punishment. That's why she doesn't see the push coming. With a yelp, her back hits the sheets. You quickly get on top of her and turn her around. Stripping her off her jacket is just a matter of seconds. When Handong finally starts to struggle, you've already tied one of her hands to the bedpost.
"What aree you doing?"
"What does it look like, princess?"
Her cheeks flush once more, but she keeps up the struggle. Sitting on top of her, you press her into the sheets with your own weight. Handong is completely helpless as you tie her second wrist to the other bedpost.
"Wait. Can't I make it up to you?"
"Oh, you will. Don't you worry about that."
Your tone makes Handong fight back harder, but to no use. Moments later, her legs are all tied up too.
"Oh come one. It's not like I had much of a choice. The company gave me the outfit."
You don't answer, but instead raise her hips with one hand and pull down her pants with the other. Revealing the rest of her already partially exposed panties, you let Handong's body fall back on the sheets.
"I promise I'll be good from now on."
Despite being completely tied up, Handong still pulls on the ropes on her wrists.
"I recognize that bottle. Yooheyon said you used it on her when..."
She comes to a hold, once again putting on a shy act. You let your hands roam her cheeks, giving them a squeeze here and there. It makes her lift her hips off the bed involuntarily. In a swift motion, you pull off her panties.
You hear her gasp as you are greeted with Handong's ass and pussy. The latter already visibly wet.
"When you tried out that your new toy on her. She said she couldn't leave the bed that day, because she couldn't walk."
You place your hand on of her cheeks and reach down with your thumb to play with her folds a little. Handong's breath hitches at your touch.
"A-Are you going to use it on me too?"
"No, princess."
A harsh spank hits her completely by surprise. Her mewl makes you smile.
"I need to punish you properly."
Reaching for the bottle, you open it and tilt it on its head. The clear liquid hits Handong's cheeks soon after. You wait for a good while, probably emptying one forth of the entire bottle. Once you're satisfied, you let it fall next to you.
Handong lets a moan slip out of her mouth as you massage the lube into her cheeks. Her porcelain like skin starts to glow in the light of her room. Her ass looks so much better this way. You can't help but bite your lip. More moans leave her lips as you keep coating her ass with the lube.
After quickly getting rid off your clothes, you coat your cock in the same liquid. You scoot a little closer, now almost sitting on her ass, pressing her cheeks upwards a little. It makes them look slightly bigger as you push your cock between them. You see her grabbing onto the ropes, bracing herself for what's to come.
"Damn, princess."
You groan as you push your tip into the ring of tight muscles. Handong let's out a deep moan. You don't need to slowly ease her into anal anymore. By now, Handong is almost taking you inside her asshole on a daily basis. It's just the first time you've tied her up.
"Oh, gosh."
Her eyes are shut tightly as you push further. The lube making it easier for you, but you still have to come to a hold eventually, waiting for her ass to get accustomed to being filled. But eventually, you can start to fuck Handong properly.
Her mewls and whines echo through the room as you pound her ass from behind. She doesn't have a choice. She can only take it. Like the good little princess she is. Or at least that's what she is supposed to be.
You hold onto her cheeks for now. Slightly spreading them apart, the oily skin still glistening in the light. A gorgeous sight. You watch your cock going in and out of her ass, her tight muscles already loosening up. Shortly after, you can fuck Handong's ass as rough as you would fuck the other's pussies.
Too focused on her cheeks, you only notice after some time that her moans have become quieter. Looking at her, you see that her head as dropped. Face first into her pillow. You reach forward, grabbing her pink pigtails.
"Oh god, yes!"
Handong's cry makes you fuck her harder as you you use her pigtails as handle bars. Her tight ass squeezes your cock. Unlike Yooheyon, Handong can actually take quite a lot. So you don't have trouble speeding up, making sure your hips clap against her cheeks.
And idea comes to mind. You take both her pigtails in one hand and reach with the other for her phone, which she put down next to her on the bed, when you entered her room. Handong suddenly becomes quiet, when she hears the calling sound.
"W-Who are you calling?"
"Don't worry, princess."
"Hello?"
You hear your girlfriend's voice through the phone. Instead of answering, you place it right in front of Handong's face on the pillow. Taking her pigtails in both hands once more, you start to fuck her again.
"Hello?"
Jiu asks again. And despite her desperate efforts, Handong soon answers with a string of desperate moans. She is turning into a mess underneath you, while her leader praises her on the other side of the line.
"Good girl, Handong. I hope you're satisfying my boyfriend? Just take it and be good. You know how much I love you, right?"
You can't see her face, but you would bet everything you have on the fact that Handong's embarrassment is at an all time high. You bite your lip, feeling a familiar feeling in your stomach at the thought. You let go of her pink hair, making Handong's head fall back into the pillow and with that onto her phone as well. Her nose touches the screen, cutting Jiu's praises short.
Sooner rather than later, unfortunately, you find yourself nearing your orgasm. You wish you could fuck her tight hole for longer, but you know you can't take much more.
"Fuck, Handong. I'm gonna creampie your ass."
Only a moan leaves her lips, but that's confirmation enough for you.
You go faster and harder for one last time. Doing your best to properly pound her ass.
With a groan, you come to a hold. You lean down on her as you feel her ass milking your cock. Handong gasps as she feels your cum fill her puckered hole. After a couple of moments, you thrust into her a couple of times, making sure you push your seed as deep inside of her as possible.
Eventually, you climb off her used body. Handong doesn't move. Her face once more in her pillow, her face red in embarrassment. You find it cute that Handong becomes shy when you cum inside of her.
But when she hears the door open, she finally looks over her shoulder.
"W-Where are you going?"
"Like you said, Yooheyon needs to be punished too."
"And you're gonna leave me here?"
"Did you think your punishment is over already?"
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Hi guys!
Just a short fic for Handong. I needed to get this out of my system, so I can get back to writing SNSD Village. Hope you guys enjoyed it.
Stay healthy everyone!
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nix-nihili · 3 days
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Thinking about how Charles probably never tells Edwin about his father to the full extent because it's partially about vulnerability and the shame that comes with it.
It's about having to be around this one person day and night and not being able to open up to them fully because you can't just... walk away.
You can't just carve your chest open to place your beating heart in the other person's hands and walk away. You have to sit there and watch what they'll do with it. Whether they'll crush it and leave you with a bloody mess while saying that it doesn't really matter or treat it with so much tenderness you don't think you deserve.
(Because how could he ever deserve tenderness?)
See, Edwin is using these cases to build a case for himself against Hell. He's trying to prove himself here. We know this. But Charles is also trying to prove himself. Prove that he's not like his father or Brad and Hunter or the Devlin dad.
That he's not a creature of violence.
Because a part of him believes he can be just as bad as them. That sometimes he is. This is an insecurity of his. How can he tell the one person who seems to see nothing but good in him a glaring flaw? Who's to say that if he reveals things about this huge insecurity that Edwin won't realise the truth in it and agree with it?
(Crush his heart and leave it a bloody mess but at least it will be honest. At least the blood will be deserved.)
Or. Or Edwin will say that Charles is nothing like any of them. That he is good and kind and wonderful. That his hands are not made for hurting, that his purpose is not to ruin lives. That he is someone worthy of love.
(So much tenderness that feels undeserved, that feels worse because how has he managed to convince Edwin of all of this? How can Edwin believe any of this? Is this real or is he just being placated?)
So, if he takes Edwin up on his initial offer ("You can tell me anything"), he's revealing parts of himself he hasn't told anybody about in decades. To tell his best mate first? To be that vulnerable and not have a place to hide afterwards? To live with the fact that Edwin now knows about his insecurities and oh god does Edwin think about it? Does he run that conversation in his head over and over, picking apart the details until the picture is clearer and uglier? Has Edwin realised how much Charles doesn't deserve his kindness? His companionship? His love?
He can't do that. Fuck, how is he ever meant to do that? How is he ever meant to live with the shame of having told someone he has to see every day and wonder if they ever think that it's a bit hypocritical? Or worse, a bit ridiculous. A bit laughable. Not a big deal at all. That he's just been making a mountain out of a molehill and really he should leave it well and alone.
(even if a part of him knows Edwin could never do that. that Edwin is always kind. it is doing him a disservice to think of him this way. but sometimes the other part of him that cowers in fear is too loud.)
All in the past, right? Doesn't matter. He should really get over it. He'd been raised to get over it. Just another fact of life. So many people have had it worse. Hell, Edwin has had it worse. This is nothing compared to it.
(So, then why does it still haunt him?)
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nina-ya · 2 days
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A/N: Zoro version lets goooooooooo i have some other characters planned for this as well so yeah!! Pairing: Zoro x reader CW: none WC: ~600 Other Versions: Luffy Zoro Sanji (more to come) • masterlist • ko-fi • discord server •
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Loving Zoro is loving someone who is a warrior and a dreamer. His ambitions burn brightly, and he is always chasing that final goal of becoming the world's greatest swordsman, and yet he never forgets about you. He’s that one person who you can count on to stay by your side and protect you throughout the night. His sleeping body is always ready to jump into action, at least more than usual, all so you can sleep soundly. He’s always there, watching over you even when you don’t fully realize it, ensuring you’re safe in a world that’s anything but. 
Loving Zoro is loving someone who is not afraid to be himself. He can be rough around the edges and sometimes abrasive, but there’s something nice about his honesty. He will never pretend to be something that he is not, and he will never expect you to either. He is simple, and straightforward, someone that you can lean on when everything in the complex world feels uncertain. 
Loving Zoro is enjoying the comfortable silence that always falls between you. No words are needed to feel close to him. You can sit beside him for hours simply watching him sharpen his swords, and feel more connected to him in that moment than anyone else. There’s always a peacefulness in his presence and you can’t help but cherish it. 
But Loving Zoro is also learning how to navigate those tall and tough walls he puts up. He’s not one to easily express his feelings, especially when it comes to love, and he’s much less likely to admit when he is hurting. His pride is very strong and sometimes loving him means giving him the space to figure things out independently. However, don’t confuse this with meaning he doesn’t need you. He won’t always say it, but you know he needs you when he leans onto you after a long tough day, or when he opts to have you tend to his wounds rather than Chopper. It’s his way of saying ‘i need you’ without having to utter a single word.
It’s understanding that he doesn't often declare his love for you through words, but he shows it in the way that he is always there. It shows in the way that he will train until his body refuses to continue, but he still takes the time to check on you. It is in the way that he will offer you the last of his water, even when he is thirsty himself. It is in the way that he is always by your side, promising protection in his presence alone.
Loving Zoro is knowing that he will fight for you with every fiber of his being, but he also expects you to be able to fight for yourself, not just on the battlefield. He respects strength, both physically and in character. He admires you when you stand your ground, even if he may disagree with the topic at hand. And no matter what, he will push you to be the best version of yourself because he believes in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself. 
Loving Zoro is loving a man whose passions mirror the intensity of his discipline. It’s watching him train for countless hours on end in the birds' nest, sweat dripping down his body as he pushes himself to his limits and beyond, and just feeling in awe at the sheer determination that drives him. But it’s also those moments where he lets his guard down for you, when he leans in close, forehead resting against yours, and you can feel the depths of his emotions.
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neiptune · 3 days
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i don't want you like a best friend
cw: 4.2k wc, female reader, soulmate au, friends to lovers, tendo may be the only person in the world without a mark and it's quite hard to convince him that, most times, the universe doesn't know shit
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“Holy shit, this is the best thing I ever tasted”.
“Don’t lie”.
“I’m not!”.
Tendo narrows his eyes, unimpressed.
“You said that about the last five bonbons”.
“Listen, the one with port and cinnamon was great n’all but this is a cookie dough brown butter bonbon. I’m blown away. I want to sleep with this one. I want to buy it dinner and then take it to bed”.
That’s when Satori laughs, loud and boisterous as he still allows himself to be around you. It makes you smile, seeing him happy.
“Tell me the secret to crafting these”.
“Again?”, he snorts, “I already explained the process a million times”.
“Wanna hear it again. I like how you talk about it”.
“Okay, weirdo”, there’s fondness and a silent invitation in the way he pushes the little box of his latest experiments towards you.
It’s soothing, comforting, listening to instructions you’re already familiar with. Tendo goes over how important it is to choose flavors that are fun and still be attentive enough to make sure the chocolate stands on its own: flavoring components should never completely ride over it. He skillfully exercises subtlety when coming up with new combinations, always keeps the interior so creamy and smooth the treat ends up melting in a delicious puddle on one’s tongue. The outer layer should never be too thick, chalky or cakey: that’s why he prefers to form most of the chocolates with his hands instead of using a mold.
There’s creativity involved in what he does but there’s also science. It requires a lot of patience, most of his work is made of tedious steps repeated over and over again within specific time limits and a perfectly calculated temperature. It fits him, you believe: Tendo’s always been diligent and persevering, no matter what the world threw at him.
He puts a lot of work in his boxes too, especially the ones he has to ship. They’re all triple-insulated, double-stuffed and always perfectly packed. A cute, colorful thank you card always goes hand in hand with each purchase, if he receives orders for a birthday or a special gift he’d even write a personal note as an addition. As a foreigner, it hasn't been easy to establish himself as a reliable chocolatier in a city like Paris, but he now has a pretty loyal clientele and the shop is basically never empty.
“That one’s my favorite”, Satori’s eyes zero on the bite-sized bonbon you’ve picked from the box.
You hum, appreciating the way the chocolate melts in your mouth. It’s not as good as the previous one but you recognize the artistry with which the flavors fuse with each other, chocolate ganache with clementine and hazelnuts, just a hint of lemon zest.
“They’re all incredible, ‘Tori. You’re very talented”. Tendo smiles.
“Thank you”, he mutters, grateful, “now, can we talk about it?”.
“There’s nothing to talk about”, you dangle your legs from the counter of the little production kitchen in the back of his boutique shop, closed for the day. It’s incredibly tidy, smells of soap and citrus.
“You impulsively booked a flight across the world because of a guy”.
Ouch.
“I flew across the world to visit my best friend”, you scowl, “thought he’d be happy to see me”.
“I’m fucking ecstatic, ma chérie”, it’s probably the happiest he’s been in years, “but we need to talk about it. Tell me what’s on your mind?”.
He can see the bags under your eyes, the usual brightness missing from your smile, playful vibration to your jokes absent. He knows you’re hurting and while he’d be thrilled to keep you in Paris for as long as you wish, Tendo has to know what’s broken before he even attempts to mend it. His gaze falls on a specific portion of skin of your wrist and a sigh slips past his lips.
“He broke up with me”, you articulate slowly, “said we weren’t compatible. Said it’s safer to abandon the delusional ideas that drew us close to each other and do things how they’re supposed to be done. According to the plan”, there’s a grimace on your face that pairs well with how you spit out the last words.
“Did you show him?”.
“No, you know I don’t do that anymore. He didn’t see mine and I never wanted to see his. He agreed to that”.
“Right”.
“And then, I don’t know, he did what everyone always does. Changed his mind”.
Satori sighs. Truthfully, he’s always been a little sad about your mark being permanently covered with thick foundation, concealer or whatever else. It’s been years. He misses seeing the little crooked triangle on your wrist.
“Well, maybe…”, he starts but is soon interrupted by a loud scoff.
“Don’t”.
“But they’re not wrong. The universe has it all layed out for you, maybe it’s time you stop being so stubborn”.
“I don’t care about the universe, Satori. The universe is not going to take away that choice from me, it should belong to me. I don’t want to be destined to someone, I want to be chosen by them”.
He deflates in the plastic chair he’s sitting on. Can’t really argue with that logic.
Ever since middle school, when your mark first appeared, you never wanted to succumb to the whole the cosmos has already decided who the perfect person for me is bullshit. You simply can’t accept giving up the freedom of falling in love with whoever you wish to pursue, regardless of the universe agreeing or not. That’s why you never really cared about matching marks and all that jazz, always dated those who seemed not to care either. But after a number of failed relationships, it became painfully obvious that deep down, everyone always believes marks are the real deal. It’s why you decided you never wanted to see the mark of the next guys you’d date, and certainly didn’t want to show yours anymore. Sometimes it’s even hard to remember it’s still there, underneath stubborn layers of concealer. You hated it your whole life.
“You’re right. It’s your life, you should live it however you see fit”, they’re idiots for giving up on someone like you in the name of a dumb sign or whatever anyway.
“I thought you’d understand this more than anyone, you’ve always hidden your mark too. I don’t even know what it looks like and it’s okay! It’s yours! Shouldn’t belong to anyone else’s prying eyes”, you pick another chocolate truffle from the special box he’s sorted for you. It’s red velvet flavored.
Tendo insisted on calling his shop like that, rouge velours, deaf to the literal translation not being entirely correct. The french need to associate the word gâteau to it, it has to be a red velvet cake. But he didn’t care, adamant in going with just red velvet.
It was a joke you had blurted out at the end of high school, sitting on the curb outside your favorite konbini on the way home, another summer evening made of snacks shared underneath the street lamps. Satori said he wanted to move to France and learn how to make handmade chocolates, open a shop and everything. You suggested it should’ve been called red velvet, would’ve paired well with his hair. It never crossed your mind that he would take your suggestion seriously.
Frankly, Tendo’s not changed much since high school. He’s a little taller, broader in the shoulders, prefers a buzz cut. He’s still cheerful, less loud if you’re not around, enjoys singing made up tunes to himself while he works, occasionally takes part in volleyball games when neighbors or friends from the gym invite him. More than anything, he’s still the kindest, most generous friend one could have.
You used to be a little jealous of Ushijima, never one to accept easily to be downgraded in the best friends ranking system. As a teenager, it was hard to acknowledge that Satori’s heart is simply big enough to fit everyone he cares about in there. Not many people realized how much of an honor that was anyway, so there was plenty of space.
He still calls Ushijima to check up on him and the fact that they declared to be best friends during a television show didn’t leave a sour taste in your mouth as it would’ve back then. Wakatoshi is a nice guy, it definitely grew on you and it now gives you comfort knowing that Satori gets to throw the blanket of his affection over more than one person’s shoulders.
Not a day goes by without missing him, different time zones making it even more complicated to keep up with each other. Yet, he’s always the one willing to stay up late to talk to you, insists that while you work in the morning, he enjoys crafting chocolates in the middle of the night. That hardly matters, since you know he has to wake up early to open the shop.
“Hard to hide something you don’t have”, he grins from where he’s sitting, in front of you. Your dangling legs come to a halt.
“What?”.
“I don’t have a mark”, Satori shrugs, “not a big deal”.
“That’s impossible”.
“You’ve seen me naked”.
“Because you didn’t lock the damn bathroom door!”, your face heats up at the memory belonging to so many years ago. He snickers.
“Well, if I had a mark you’d know!”.
You pause, incredulous.
“Did you check your nails? Maybe it was in your hair and you shaved it off. Everyone has a mark!”.
“I don’t have it”, he knows, he’s checked every inch of his body for too long before giving up, “don’t act so shocked, it makes perfect sense”.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”.
Satori shrugs, a timid smile on his lips.
“I’m damaged goods. I wouldn’t expect to be the right fit for anyone, the universe decided to spare me and a potential unfortunate match the embarrassment”.
To him, it’s perfectly normal that there’s no one right for him out there. Or rather, that he’s not the right person for anyone. Who would want that, anyway? The guy who’s always been too weird to be looked at normally. The guy who always stands out the wrong way. If the universe has decided to be merciful enough to spare him the disappointment flashing over someone’s face upon discovering that he’s their soulmate, the only thing Tendo should feel is gratitude. 
“Don’t say shit like that ever again, Satori. Damaged goods? What the hell? You’re the best person I know!”, you almost throw the chocolate box at his head, “anyone would be lucky to have you as their soulmate. Anyone. I’m certain you’re the perfect match for a lot of people but I find it very hard to believe they’d deserve you anyway”.
You’re his best friend, you’re supposed to say all that. Yet, kept silent by that fiery glare of yours, Tendo can’t help but feel his chest warm up.
He didn’t necessarily have a crush on you in high school, that’s what he told himself anyway. When you started going out with Eita, part of him was relieved you went for someone normal. His teammate fell into the right category: Semi was attractive, had good grades, knew his way around girls. It was a good reminder of what Tendo wanted for you, of what you deserved. He cared deeply about your happiness and would’ve went to impossible lengths to shield you from all the bad there was in the world. That still hasn’t changed. Your best friend was what he was always destined to be and it was more than what he could’ve asked for, anyway.
And so it wouldn’t have been right to fantasize, to admit to himself that for the first time ever since he was a kid, Tendo wished to be the opposite of what he was. He dreamed of a different childhood, school days filled with friends, practice bursting with laughter instead of whispers, not a reason in the world to direct him curious or grossed out stares. He wished he was handsome, charismatic, funny in a way that made girls laugh in sincere amusement instead of discomfort. He wanted so badly to be everything he was not, for you.
When he admitted to himself that he loved you, deeply, ferociously, in a way that would’ve scared off any other human being, high school was over and so was his volleyball dream. Another fantasy coming to an end. Satori announced he wanted to move to Paris, expecting life, distance, a different time zone, your boyfriends, to make the friendship too heavy of a task to keep up with.
And yet, you stayed by his side. Most importantly, you wanted him to stay by yours. Tendo has never been much used to the feeling of being wanted, his presence wasn’t exactly desired by other people throughout his life. But you and Paris both taught him that maybe he does have something to give, something people can be willing to accept. So what if that something isn’t romantic love? He’s already luckier than he ever imagined he would get. He’s going to be okay, as long as you’re his friend. He’ll manage.
“Satori”, you snap him back to reality, “I mean it. Fuck the universe”.
Honestly, the only thing he’s mad at the universe for is making you so deeply unhappy. Tendo’s not sure he can forgive the cosmos for failing you so many times.
“Yeah”, he agrees lightly, “fuck the universe”.
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Maybe Tendo had a point when he referred to your little vacation as ‘impulsive’, given that you never really travelled outside of Japan before. Yet, what initially was an easy escape from your disappointing reality and a wonderful excuse to finally visit your best friend, soon turned into a delightful adventure.
You reciprocated Satori’s hospitality by being as useful as possible: you’d keep his place tidy and clean, get groceries, cook dinner. He’d insist on ordering out, would try to snatch the vacuum cleaner from your hand, sometimes Tendo would come home later than usual with his hands filled with groceries just so that you didn’t feel like you needed to refill the fridge. But you liked being there and you loved taking care of him, especially since he vehemently refused to go back to sleeping in his bed and offering you the couch instead.
On his rare free days, Satori gladly gives you a tour of the city and his favorite places. When he’s working, you’d explore Paris on your own, the little map he drew by hand safely nestled in your pocket. Yes, you obviously have a phone, but the map makes each stroll all the more special.
Being with him and feeling genuinely appreciated, in a city so wonderful and far away from home, made you realize that perhaps the universe got it all wrong. Maybe there’s no one out there with a mark similar to yours. Maybe you’re not a match for romantic love in the first place. You’re already lucky enough as it is, with a friend so wonderful you can share lovely dinners with over episodes of silly tv shows, in a tiny apartment filled with affection and laughter. It’s the best you’ve felt in years and the idea of leaving has never felt as dreadful.
But everyone has to get back to their life eventually: there’s your job, bills, rent, you haven’t visited your parents in a while. All these things you’re having a real hard time caring about as Tendo offers another glass of wine, the bottle you’re sharing practically empty resting by his feet.
It’s your last night in Paris and he insisted on cooking for once, a full course dinner paired with an expensive Clos de la Roche. Notes of woods and cherries dance on your tongue when you take another sip and you shut your eyes for a moment, savoring the taste. How did you end up on his bedroom’s floor anyway? Was it him who suggested sitting on the carpet with your backs pressed against his bed? No, you’re almost certain it was you. Satori tries to be less weird as a grown up, by his own admission: he leaves odd suggestions and ideas to other people, too busy trying to fit in now.
You find yourself observing his profile as he torpidly blinks, his own gaze focused on the hands holding his glass. The line of his jaw, the perfect curve of his nose. You think he’s pretty, spiky hair no longer there to tear away one’s attention from his features.
“Did you date a lot, here?”, you ask, genuinely curious. He turns to look at you, amused.
“A lot? When did I ever date a lot?”, Tendo chuckles to himself but you recognize the hurt simmering underneath the humor. It hurts you, too.
“Well, did you date?”, your impatience feels surprising but there’s no time to dwell upon unfamiliar feelings, not as Satori hums with a lethargic nod.
“Yeah, a few times”.
“They didn’t ask about your mark?”.
Tendo’s lips twitch as he remembers how ecstatic the women he went out with were upon finding out that not only his mark didn’t match theirs, he didn’t even have one to begin with. He was the safest option they could ever date, no risk of forever.
“It’s easier to date someone you know you’re not gonna end up with”, he shrugs, “they felt more comfortable, it was fun and momentary, thus risk-free”.
You click your tongue in disapproval and Tendo cocks his head, confused by your scowl.
“They, they, they. I always hated this about you, you’re always focusing on what other people think. I want to know, how did you feel?”.
Maybe it’s the wine or maybe it’s the fact that you’re about to become a fugitive presence in his life once more, but for once Satori feels like huffing out his frustration.
“Like shit”, he admits with a sly smile, “I could fall for just about anyone and I’ll always know they’re not my person. I won’t ever have a person and it makes me feel like shit”.
You’re not sure why tears are suddenly pricking the corners of your eyes. Maybe it’s because it’s really hard to remember the last time Satori allowed himself to be vulnerable around you. It always felt like he talked more to Wakatoshi, man to man or whatever. You never felt like you could be fully there for him and now it’s almost too late again, only a few hours before you fly off to the other side of the world.
“I hate them”, you murmur, “it’s just cruel. You’re not supposed to be anyone’s temporary fixing”.
“I’m not ever going to be anything but that”.
“No, Satori-”, in the process of positioning yourself better in order to face him, you kick the not entirely empty glass previously resting by your leg. It’s gonna leave a stain but you’ll find a way to take care of it before you leave, this is more urgent. This requires you taking your friend’s face into your hands, to bring it closer to your determined gaze. “That’s not true. The universe doesn’t know shit, okay? I know you. You don’t need a fucking mark. In fact, you know what? I’m happy you don’t have one. Thank god. I-”, he gently puts his hands over yours and leans over to tenderly kiss your forehead. Your train of thought derails as he fixes you with an amused, fond stare.
“It’s okay. Really”, Tendo lowers your hands and then leaves them cold, head falling to the side, cheek pressed to the orange duvet cover of his bed. You’re pouting, looking more beautiful than ever underneath the dim lights of his room, and so he can’t hold his tongue.
“You know, I find it incredible that you haven’t been able to find your person yet, universe or not. How’s it possible that someone as wonderful as you is being dumped by complete idiots just because they believe in some stupid pre-decided romantic assignation?”.
You mirror his position and rest your head on the softness of his bed. Despite being still on the floor, it almost feels as if you’re lying next to each other.
“They don’t believe I’m wonderful. I guess I’m just momentary, too”.
He scoffs. Deep down, Tendo also believes everyone should be granted the freedom to pursue their desired relationship, especially you. Don’t they know how lucky they are? You ignore destiny to give those dumbasses a chance and they leave before they even get to realize what they’re missing out upon.
“I think marks are bullshit”, Satori gently takes your hand and traces your fingers with his own slowly, eyes still boring into yours, “in a world with no marks, they’d be on their knees thanking their lucky star you showed interest in them at all”.
You hum, a soft smile tugging at your lips.
Before Tendo interrupted your little motivational speech, you were about to tell him why it makes you happy that he doesn’t have a mark after all. Looking at him now, it’s all the more clear. It’s horrible and selfish and childish but, this way, you will never have to go through it: you’ll never have to find out that the one person who’s always been by your side, the one person who knows you better than you know yourself and still manages to love you, also isn’t the one.
Tendo is the greatest person you know, the only one you’d trust with your life. His heart is your favorite part of him: always stayed big enough to fit in all those who asked for access, kindness embedded so deep within him he never let the world’s cruelty affect it. Satori never stored an ounce of that nastiness people loved oh so much throwing at him, it let it become an armor instead. Steel made of insults, cruel jokes, mockery. It breaks your heart that he still wears it. It would break your heart to discover that someone like him isn’t destined to be yours after all, that the universe wouldn’t be benevolent enough to assign the best friend you ever had as your soulmate.
“You don’t mean that”.
You blink, slowly, actually fighting to keep your eyes open.
“What?”.
“What you just said. You’re drunk”, he chuckles quietly and, horrifyingly, you realize your mouth decided to voice those thoughts out loud.
The shock lasts a few seconds. Tendo is no longer fiddling with your fingers but your hand is still in his and the more you look into those crimson irises, the less uncomfortable you feel about what you just said. Is it the wine or is it just right?
“You think I wouldn’t be happy if the universe assigned you as my soulmate?”.
“I think you wouldn’t hate it”, Tendo softly ponders, “but that’d be far from ideal”.
“Hey, you don’t get to decide that. Me and the universe would be agreeing for once”.
Satori swears his heart skips a bit. All those years, all that badly harbored hope, the entirety of his restraint crumbling pathetically after a few drops of expensive wine. You don’t mean that, you can’t mean that.
“You could look at me like that?”, the question is supposed to underline how ridiculous the idea is, but he realizes he just sounds wishful.
“I know you think it’d be hard but it really isn’t”, you laugh softly. You’re looking at him like that right now. As you abstendmindedly play with his fingers, thumb gently rubbing circles on the skin of his wrist, you appreciate the pink dusting his cheeks, the slightly furrowed brows, the sweetness of his questioning gaze.
Tendo exhales slowly. Neither of you is resting their head on his bed anymore, too captivated by each other. “I’m not sure I’d survive the discovery of you of all people, not being the one I’d be destined to stand with for the rest of my life. Because what a waste would be, for that person to be someone else”, it’s nothing but a whisper, raw honesty doing something funny to his stomach as it slips past his lips for the first time. There’s no one but you, honestly. He knows there’ll never be anyone else. The universe has planned love for those around him and an eternal curse for his heart.
“A terrible waste”, you agree and the hand not busy interlacing your fingers with his, suddenly closes around the soft fabric of his hoodie to bring him closer. Satori doesn’t dare move, let alone breathe, effectively paralyzed by the idea of indulging something you’ll regret the second it happens.
Except you don’t. When you kiss him, tentative at first, all the pieces fall right into place. Your lips curl into a small, knowing smile as the world slows down. Then finally, finally, he kisses you back. It’s deeper, a hand pressing to your cheek, it’s corrodingly tender and you feel yourself melting into his touch, into the genuine reverence he holds for you.
Tendo feels something unravel from within, the tangles and knots of hurt, uncertainty, combust and disappear into thin ashes. He’s too lost in the moment, too drunk on how close you’re holding him as your tongue brushes against his own, to pay any attention to the itchy feeling over the skin of his wrist. Right where your thumb is pressing, a crooked triangle appears at last.
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copperbadge · 2 days
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Hi Sam! Just wanted to drop you a big thank you for sharing your journey with ADHD and diagnosis so openly here. I got my official diagnosis today and a big part of what finally convinced me to talk to a doc about it was seeing other "high functioning" adults learn about it later in life and find benefits from having the diagnosis. So thanks for the boost! And... whatever well wishes ADHDers wish one another? May your attention be focused!
Hey, congratulations and also my sympathy! Great to have a diagnosis but also...you know, sucks to a) not have had it sooner and b) have to have it.
I definitely like "May your attention be focused" :D Although of course that's the thing about ADHD -- your attention isn't focused until it's really focused and then it's not always focused on the right thing.
Like, I've figured out -- you all know how I love my timers, I love to time shit -- I've worked out that when I take my Adderall in the morning, I have to set a timer for 20 minutes. I use immediate release, and I know that it's almost exactly 25 minutes from "take the pill" to "pill kicks in" because I can feel it start to work.
So when I take the pill, I start the timer, and when the timer goes off I stop whatever I'm doing, a cold stop, doesn't matter what I'm up to, and I go to my computer and I start work for the day. Because if I'm not "at work" when the pill kicks in, whatever I was doing is now what I'm going to be doing for the entire morning. Or I'll finish it but be unable to start something new, so I not only won't be doing work, I won't be doing anything productive at all.
The nice thing is, even if I'm not taking Adderall that particular day for whatever reason, it still helps, because if I sit down to work I'm now acclimatized to focus on it for a few minutes, and I'll still have pretty good focus for at least an hour or two.
It's wild to think about cognition not just in terms of "being focused" but in terms of managing focus appropriately. It can be tiring but at least knowing is better than not. :)
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doereams · 1 day
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there's something about touya being in a relationship with you that makes me a little sad. for the first time since he's been living wherever he could, he has a place to stay without conditions. without having to plan where to stay next. his guard is always up no matter what, but it doesn't have to be.
he has someone that cares about him, that loves him, and they've opened their home up to him; he doesn't know what to do with it all. it's off-putting. it's alien. it's uncharted territory and he's unmoored. he doesn't like that.
so he bares his teeth a little and runs, because that's how he's survived for this long alone, it's instinctual, just as much as his detachment is a safety net. he runs yet he'll show up to your door in the dead of night. he needs to leave first until running becomes walking away. until it becomes begrudgingly staying. it's not as if he'd let on the fact that his knuckles would turn white with how hard he wants hold onto this one, tangible thing he has now, so the song and dance of indifference has to go on.
but he'll see the food in the cupboards that you've bought for him specifically because he's mentioned in passing that one time. you've given him a key to your apartment despite the fact he's made it known he won't stay, and he'll keep reminding you he won't, but he'll pocket the key. there's medical supplies in the bathroom. while you have expectations, you don't push or prod. you love him regardless of his absence. you love him.
he'll scoff and wave it all away as if it means little. he doesn't need these things from you, yet his heart is thumping in his chest and he disappears into the bathroom to take a breather for god knows how long.
once he stays, i do feel like it'll bring him to his knees for a little bit. it would hit him hard.
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lieslab · 1 day
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Are you with me?
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꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎
Pairing: Chan X gn reader
Summary: After struggling with being underweight, you binge out of desperation to gain weight and that's when your boyfriend finds you.
Genre: Comfort/hurt
Word Count: 1.6K
Trigger warning: Insecurities, implied underweight reader, mentions of weight, weight loss, binging, calorie counting, and a mention of nausea.
A/N: I believe that this is the final request I had. I'm so sorry for making you wait forever, life has been hard and this topic is a bit too real and relatable. Please know that your weight doesn't define you. Whether you are thirty pounds, three hundred, or three-thousand, you still deserve love and respect. You are allowed to love yourself no matter what you look like.
Society can be really fucking shitty and harsh. Don't let it tear you down. This is your life and maybe we do only get one. Eat the slice of cake on your birthday. Indulge in your favorite coffee. Weight can fluctuate and be lost or gained, but good memories last a life time. Don't let yourself miss out on experiencing them because you think your weight and the way you look is holding you back. It's easier said than done, but it's entirely possible <3
_ _ _
The brain is a chamber and each thought is a bullet. A complex system full of neural pathways that define who you are. The brain controls your entire being. Your personality, your motor skills, the cognitive ability to retain information, and pull it out later. 
Beneath the skin, we’re all just bones. Chipped and withered skeletons that will one day disintegrate into nothingness. They say life is a blessing. We should cherish it to the best of our ability. We only get one life, supposedly. If that’s true, then why is it so hard? 
Bodies. Bodies. Bodies. Bodies. Thick and thin. Taut skin stretched over hollowed cheekbones. Round cheeks full of facial fat. Sharpened and softened jawlines. No matter what yours looks like, you only get one. 
A random genetic lottery thanks to your parents. You might hate yourself or you might love yourself. No matter which one wins, there always seems to be hiccups. Those times of turmoil where you just can’t seem to go on another day because you are trapped inside your body. The machine that causes you to breathe, it feels like a burden to some. 
You cannot control how the outside world perceives you. You cannot make everyone like yourself. Chasing idolization and devotion is a great bomb of self-destruction. Feelings can be fatal and if you’re not careful, they will be. Drowning in insecurities and letting them weigh you down while the days pass you by isn’t a good way to live. 
Yet…you just couldn’t help it. The way you looked was just overwhelming. You were a mess. Physically, nobody could see it. Mentally, you were overwhelmed and falling apart. Unraveling at the seams and spiraling out of control. 
The whispers of your insecurities had turned into a sympathy of screams. Scorching hot tears streamed down your cheeks in the kitchen. Your weight has always been an issue. People don’t second guess the things they say at times. 
“Gosh, you’re so skinny, you need to put some meat on your bones.” 
“Is that really all you’re going to eat?” 
“One blow from the wind and you’re going to fall over at this rate.” 
Some people are blessed with rapid metabolisms and some are cursed. No matter how much you consume, your body works it off. Over and over and over and over and over. Just when you think you’ve gained a pound, the scale says you’re down another half of a pound. 
What does your boyfriend think about it? He always says you look wonderful, but does he really mean it? What if he’s lying? Members of your family have stated that you look like you’re on your deathbed. 
What if you’re not good enough? What if this body isn’t great? What if nothing changes? What if you’re cursed to be this weight forever? What if? What if? What if? 
It was a spur of the moment decision. Ever since you lost another two pounds within the last week, something inside of you seemed to snap. That’s when you found yourself tearing through kitchen cabinets. 
Thoughts were swirling as you ripped open the package of oreo cookies you bought. It was one and then it was two and you blinked and half the row was gone. Crumbs caked your lips and all you could do was wipe them along your sweater sleeve. 
As much as you were spiraling, you were desperate to gain control. Surely, if you ate enough, you could put on a pound or two, right? Right? You had to. 
Crinkling filled the air as you opened a bag of brand new chips. The kind that were too salty and you knew they weren’t healthy, but you did it anyway. Life felt better with the occasional unhealthy snack. People weren’t perfect and neither were you. 
Staring at the back of the calorie contents, you lost track of how many chips you placed in your mouth. People didn’t seem to binge on the fruits and vegetables. 
It was the sugary sweetened foods that stuck to your sides. The salty chips and pretzels. The kind of food that was full of empty calories, but you didn’t care. You were desperate to gain a pound. 
People don’t understand what it’s like until they’re there. You will never understand what it’s like to be skin and bones until it’s all that you are. You will never understand what it’s like to carry around a pudgy stomach that bounces with every step until you are there. 
Weight fluctuates and bodies are different. We only get one, but it’s so easy to abuse it. To never eat enough. To over consume and eat too much. You didn’t think you were doing anything wrong with your body. 
You ate your food and that was that. It wasn’t a ton of food, but it wasn’t like you were starving yourself either. Yet, at the exact same time, your body seemed to stay thin. 
The more you spiraled, the more you lost track. You didn’t remember what you put in your mouth. Everything tasted like defeat, even the oreos. 
It kept going and going. Your stomach began to ache with the amount of food you consumed, but you couldn’t stop. It was overwhelming and all too much. Everything hurt and you just wanted to break down and sob. 
When you caught the reflection of yourself in the microwave, that’s exactly what you did. The lump in your throat pulsed and the tears welled up again. The box of crackers in your hand dropped to the floor and you grabbed the counter top for support. 
Your body caved and slumped over the cold marble top. With a forehead pressed into the marble, you cried. You cried because it wasn’t fair. You cried because you hated what you were doing to your body. You cried because you were worried about how you were perceived. You cried because everything was overwhelming and too much. You hated yourself and it hurt like hell. 
Piercing sobs racked the empty kitchen and bounced off the walls. They reverberated back to you and you were left alone with the heart-shattering reality of what you were doing. You ate so much, you were nauseous. 
Your stomach twisted and churned. A fresh layer of saliva coated your tongue. The queasy feeling caused you to squeeze your eyes shut. All you could do was just cry harder. 
Your sobs were the first thing that Chan heard when he unlocked and pushed the door open. Fear struck his heart and he ripped off his bag. Not caring that his laptop was in it, it dropped to the ground with a heavy thud. 
He rushed into the kitchen and found you slung over the counter. “Baby? Baby?” His hand went to your back and he tugged you into his arms. 
The warmth of his chest made you cry harder. You hated that this was who you were. Why couldn’t you have another body? Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn’t it just be different? 
“What’s wrong?” His eyes scanned your face. “Why are you crying? What’s going on? Are you hurt?” His hands gently cupped your cheeks. He positioned your face up towards him. “Please talk to me.” 
“I-I hate myself,” you uttered hoarsely with a hiccup. “I’m not good enough. I can’t gain weight and I’m a walking skeleton and I-” 
His eyebrows pinched together in confusion. “Sweetheart, what are you talking about?”  A reassuring thumb ran over your cheek. 
“My body isn’t good enough. Not for you. Not for me. Not for anyone.” 
Knowing that you thought so negatively of yourself, it stung. It shoved an arrow through his heart and he shook his head. “Listen to me, you’re perfect the way you are. Just because y-” 
“You don’t get it!” You snapped angrily. Your hands shoved at his shoulders and he stumbled back in shock. “You don’t get it because you’re perfect! You can gain weight and you can lose weight. You can do whatever you want and I-” Your voice cracked and cut off. 
He didn’t utter a word. He knew you were struggling, so he just opened his arms. With a quivering bottom lip, you let yourself fall forward. Sturdy arms grabbed you and he pressed your head against his chest. 
The steady lull of his heart made you burst into tears. A weak and hoarse apology fell from your lips. All he could do was quietly shush you as he rubbed your back. 
“I know that it’s hard. I know what it’s like to struggle with your self image. Maybe I don’t know exactly what it is, but I’m right here and I love you. Please don’t push me away just because you’re struggling. I might not understand, but we can figure it out together. I’m not going anywhere and you know that.” 
That last reassurance was the final straw. Your knees buckled and your fingers dug into his cotton shirt. Down the both of you went and you landed on his lap. 
He pressed you against him as tight as he dared. With your eyes shut and your forehead pressed into the nape of his neck. He soothed you softly while rubbing your back. 
Even if he didn’t understand exactly, he’d wait here for as long as he had to. He’d be here until the kitchen was pulled into darkness and the sun went down outside. He didn’t care if he had to be here all night. 
He’d do whatever it took to remind you that no matter how you saw yourself, you weren’t entirely alone.
| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |
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abyssal-ilk · 22 hours
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A thing that people always forget when chastising vivienne for being so apathetic to cole is the fact that she is a circle mage. People whom are forced to learn that you should not trust demons nor spirits or else they’ll put you down AS A RITE OF PASSAGE. Think back to what Mouse says in DAO. “Keep your wits about you, mage; true challenges never end.” She knows that for the rest of her life, demons will tempt her and try to possess her. She has seen mages turn into abominations, knows how they get them- of course she will support templars who have the skills to subdue them. And now to have a spirit scurrying around without supervision what is the last bastion against a Tevinter Sidereal… I too would be worried as hell if i were a circle mage.
EXACTLY!
not only is vivienne a circle mage, but there are also a few other factors that play into it that make cole so untrustworthy to her. vivienne underwent her harrowing when she was young– in fact, she was the youngest mage to have ever gone through a harrowing and survived it. we don't get to learn much about what she went through during her harrowing, but we DO have this banter between her and cole:
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harrowings on their own are already traumatic enough, and with the added insistence from the circles that all spirits and demons are dangerous (which we see vivienne repeat above, "all it can do is harm."), it makes complete sense on why vivienne would be so put-off by cole! especially given how kind he is! she thinks that kindness is a ploy, and why wouldn't she if her harrowing was anything like the warden's in DAO?
and then that's not even acknowledging the fact that cole isn't just ANY spirit. he's the ghost of the spire. he's killed mages before and admits to doing so. and even though he was wrong to do so and realizes that what he did was wrong, that does not mean that vivienne automatically has to suddenly be okay with what cole did. of course vivienne takes cole being the ghost of the spire harder than everyone else in the inner circle. she is the only circle mage there. it is entirely plausible that she sees cole as a threat and views herself as being the person most able to recognize that threat because of what she was taught. it's why she struggles so much to empathize with cole on any level.
ive already talked about this briefly on another post, but cole is also fairly antagonistic to vivienne as well. it's easy to look at their dynamic and think that, well, cole is just trying to help vivienne but he... isn't? his version of helping her is prying into her thoughts without permission and continuing to do so even after she has shown clear discomfort with it.
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cole drags her worst memories and thoughts out publicly in front of not just vivienne, but the rest of the party and anyone else who may happen to be standing near them. it's DANGEROUS, what he does, because vivienne is a player of the game. her position at court is a precarious one, and to have someone like cole who can just pick into her brain whenever he wants with no repercussions? it's scary! it's scary because vivienne has no defense against it, especially if the player supports cole and downplays the harm he does. and what can vivienne do about it? she's an ally of the inquisitor, and that makes her cole's ally by proxy. telling cole to stop doesn't work, insulting him doesn't work, trying to get the inquisitor to intervine doesn't work– nothing seems to deter cole.
which is why THIS piece of dialogue is so important to me:
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despite everything i've said above, vivienne still cannot help but care about cole. no matter how dangerous he is, no matter what she was raised to believe, she still cares about him and worries for him. their dynamic is SO interesting to me and i really wish people dug into it a bit more rather than just dismiss it as vivienne being needlessly cruel to cole. it's so much more than that.
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polarisjisung · 3 days
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LOVE ON THE COURT | 20 ... WITH BENEFITS??
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SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier
WARNINGS | swearing, sexual innuendos, kys/kms jokes, y/n has daddy issues for the sake of the plot
NOTES | I have no idea why this update took me so long to post I'm so sorry 😭 I don't like making chapters like this too sad (don't worry there's still gonna be some angsty chapters) but I don't want the written stuff on its own bcs that feels too espresso depresso or wtv the phrase is so this is a bit of a longer chap than usual.. anyways if ever you feel bad for y/n, don't worry you're gonna feel worse
19:21, dinner the night before
Y/n shuffles in her seat.
Jaemin greets her with a smile, and though she offers one back, that sinking feeling in her stomach doesn't seem to settle.
Suddenly now that she finds herself face to face with her once best friend, no menus in hand since they'd already given their orders, no way to avoid conversation for just a couple seconds longer, Y/n finds herself at a loss for words.
What was anyone supposed to say in this situation?
Sure a thank you would be ideal, considering Jaemin had somehow managed the impossible, but the words escaped her. Like they rested at the tip of her tongue but she lacked the drive to speak them.
It's not that y/n wasn't grateful, no, she wouldn't be here if she wasn't, in fact she didn't know what it was, what confused her so deeply that she sat there silently. Her thumbs twiddling against one another, as she stared down at the table in front of her.
There was a nagging whisper in her mind, one that cast shadows over her once clear thoughts, leaving her in that haze of uncertainty that she recognised all too well. Recently it was all she could feel around the captain.
Something about this situation in particular makes her palms sweaty and the hairs stand on her neck, every glance at Jaemin feeling like a shadow of what had once been, a reminder of how it had all been lost.
Even just sitting opposite Jaemin isn't simple.
Not at all.
It's like sitting across from a mirror that once reflected shared laughter and secrets, now distorted by fractures of lost trust and unspoken words. She supposed that was the thing about mirrors and shattering. No matter how hard you tried to glue the pieces back together, it would never quite be the same.
Perhaps that's why y/n is lousy in her attempts, grateful to Jaemin but unbothered to express it. The thought that no matter how desperately she hoped, this couldn't be restored. That there was no point in pouring energy into a friendship that would never be resolved.
"So" it's undoubtedly jaemin who breaks the silence, a soft tone to his voice, not quite as gentle as the other night but still warm "are you feeling better? like really okay?"
For a moment she wonders whether she'll break at the sound of his voice like she always had. Would she go back to that point in life where it was so easy to lie, so easy to say she was okay, so easy to pretend, in front of everyone else but never in front of him.
"I'm fine, honestly." She lies.
There's a shy sheepish smile that creeps across her lips and slightly accents her words
Jaemin hasn't seen much of her positivity be directed his way, and seeing this ignites the little hope in him that they could move on from this, from everything.
"You didn't have to work on it without me you know, it was just as much my project as it was yours and you putting in all the effort isn't fair on you."
"You did most of the preliminary stuff anyways, and I really didn't want to ask you because of the other night" Jaemin finally admits, though not willingly, his words extracted more so by her sharp stare and the cold atmosphere.
"Right..." Her attempts at changing the subject, clearly in vain— he really needed to stop asking about the other night. Y/n wasn't sure how much h longer she could hold back the tears, the looming feeling of inadequacy as a guardian still strong. She should have been more careful.
She knows its her turn to speak, opening her mouth to do so.
But again, y/n struggles.
The words play hide and seek in her mind, leaving her to grasp at empty. The atmosphere grows heavy with the weight of unspoken words. Her mind races, a jumble of what to say, thoughts of how easy conversation once was, how effortless it had been, all such a stark contrast to now.
Jaemin watches, a mix of intrigue and concern in his eyes as she contemplates in front of him, quiet but with an expression that spoke volumes.
The silence between them seems to bite louder than any conversation they once held, each dish in front, a reminder of the bitter aftertaste of a friendship turned cold.
"It's just Minjun and I" she breathes out, voice shaky, and Jaemin realises that those nervous cues in her slumped posture and shaking hands had never changed "It's just been the two of us for a while" she whispered. "That's why I was so scared"
Jaemin's hand hovers uncertainly beneath the table, unsure if the gesture would be welcomed or misunderstood, caught in the delicate balance of care and concern.
Admittedly, Jaemin catches himself slightly intrigued, still confused what could have lead to her practically perfectly family turning into this.
But he knows better than to let his curiosity get the best of him.
He wants to stop her, tell her that whatever it is that causes her brows to knit together and her pretty eyes to gloss over isn't something she needs to force herself to talk about, but he doesn't know how.
For a moment he's kicking himself under the table— how had he ever let go of the person who meant so much to him?
Even now, knowing everything she had done, he couldnt help but question why hadn't he tried to get past it then?
At the sight of her downcast features suddenly everything that he once despised her for seemed so trivial.
Jaemin sees himself, a younger, less mature version that stands on the court, hair matted to his forehead from the rain, a ball long forgotten somewhere behind him, cold, betrayed, and so painfully alone. Those burning tear stained cheeks, the harsh whistles of wind, the bitter feeling of failure still clinging to his skin, he remembers it all.
But every feeling he recalls so well, so vividly, is so easily dismissed when her eyes shine with a painful tint, red from the piercing tears that she holds in them.
"My dad" she cuts him off, gaze now avoidant as he grabbed her cold hands in his, "he walked out on us not long after ...whatever hapenned between you and me. He never came back, didn't answer a single call, not even a text, no form of communication except the papers he sent in the mail so I could become Junnie's legal guardian."
I missed you, she wanted to say. I needed you she'd liked to add.
"That's why it's just the two of us now" she said instead, trying to find more words to stop the tears from flowing, like her words were the only thing that could hold them back.
Back then, Y/n remembers vividly the feeling of wanting to fall, to sink, to drown but still somehow keeping her head above the surface to hold on and stay strong for her younger brother. She wondered if Jaemin had been there, would it have been easier? Would she have let herself fall, would she have someone to give her a hand, to pick her back up again and hold her hand through it all? Would things have ended differently?
"I'm sorry" his words weren't new, they weren't special, they were the same as what everybody else would say but the fact that they came from him, Na Jaemin who now stood by her side with his arms wrapped around her, was enough to dissolve the feeling of emptiness.
08:25 present time
Y/n looks over at Minjun, still deep in slumber, smiling before she steps out of the room.
There's way too many toys sprawled out across the living room floor, a blanket she finds herself folding as she subconsciously begins to clean up. Her eyes land on the kitchen counter, wondering what to make for breakfast. She was never particularly good at cooking, but she'd been learning for her brothers sake.
When she gets to the black jacket resting over the couch, it hits her. She catches sight of her puffy eyes in the mirror, and a hand runs through her hair hurriedly.
"Why the fuck did I tell him all of that" she let's out a frustrated sigh, running her hands across her face, "I'm supposed to hate him" she reminds herself, though her tone isn't convincing in the slightest.
"You don't hate him though" Heeseung's voice comes out muffled, the toothbrush between his lips making it difficult to understand his words.
He had been the one to stay over last night, her friends still taking turns to accompany Minjun and her every night since he'd walked out of the apartment, a gesture that made her heart swell. Although up until now she was pretty certain he was still asleep. Clearly not.
"I can't hate him" she sighs, falling back into the couch "is it bad I want to be friends with him again?" she asks, even though Heeseung had retreated to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth.
Regardless he pokes his head out into the hallway, a sly smirk across his lips "with benefits?"
Y/n rolls her eyes.
He emerges again not long after, smiling from ear to ear "no y/n it's not bad if you want to be friends again" he takes a seat beside her "you can only fight your feelings for so long, let yourself be vulnerable, take the risk and try again" he says, hands resting on both his knees.
"and if you're feeling really risky, you can always—"
"shut up Heeseung" she smiles, lightly pushing against his arm "I guess it is worth a shot though"
"he's right next door anyways so sneaking around won't be hard at all"
"I meant being friends. Just friends." she stands up, walking over to the kitchen "you down for pancakes?"
He nods.
"You know it could be good though, he's hot, you're hot, there's enough tension to make things interesting and it ticks your not ready for a relationship box pretty well too"
Despite the pointed look the captain offers him, Heeseung doesn't let up, and secretly, she wouldn't have it any other way.
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https-sourlimes · 20 hours
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home meals with you! . . .
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featuring – aventurine x gn!reader
synopsis: there was a lot going on in his head... perhaps he thought, your cooking was too good for him, and he never deserved you at all...
consist of: 1k2+ word vomit... aventurine is a nervous emotional wreck, and if i say it's angst to fluff would you believe me? mentions of food, and marriage (champagne problems referred iykyk), domestic life w aven.
sincere regards to my pookie @akutasoda for helping me brainstorm an idea and proofreading; my favourite aventurine kisser @theother-victoria for proofreading <33
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quality time was the love language that AVENTURINE did not know that he possessed. he never knew a thing or two of the reason why or when it started, but when he stirred awake by the warmth of sunlight streaming down his face, patting on the mattress beside him then found it empty, he'd end up dozing off again on his belly in your secured arms when he found you by the living room's couch; his weekend was dedicated to you, and he just wanted you with him, to selfishly ask for the affection that you showered on him always and think it would never be enough.
spoiling you until he's broken broke is what aventurine concepts. to him, gift giving is the effortless love language that he can express, whilst the four remains never worked out on the aventurine who lived in the orbit of lies and contract. he thought that it'll be easier that way, and he is slowly letting love once again thaw away his dense heart, and the one who did it so perfectly, much to his expectations, was you. then, to his surprise, the idea of you demanding shiny, glamorous luxuries or brands vanished when he found himself with you in the oti mall, browsing by the groceries, picking up the fresh ingredients of your liking, instead.
"i love homemade meals," you told him – and aventurine couldn't help the fond smile he was wearing when he looked at you tiptoeing to reach the higher shelves for the pasta box of your favourite and the childish excitement in your eyes as you skip back to him to show him what you got. and then suddenly, aventurine feels like he loves homemade meals, too.
does the image of you – putting your hand around his arm, aimlessly strolling through the shop while he was pushing the cart, your thoughts were elsewhere between the ingredients of the upcoming meal and never noticing that you were making his stomach churn – thrive him? i bet it does. because he can not concentrate, his eyes fixed on you, nodding mindlessly to whatever you're planning to make tonight (it doesn't matter because he will swallow it whole) then find the lamest excuses to kiss you, your hair, your face to satisfy his most intrusive demands. you are the biggest treasure that he has ever prevailed, he noted. you were trusting him entirely, giving unconditional love, staying by his side. how can he possibly live without you? you're driving him nuts!
and when aventurine's tongue touched the first bite of anything you made, sweets or savouries, he imagined filling his stomach full with your unyielding love, the one that undoubtedly never failed to remind him that he was yours truly to be cherished, to be taken care of. undeserving of you? yes, inevitably, or maybe that was just his thoughts; so aventurine found himself savouring every moment with you in the kitchen, invading your attempts to cook and stealing kisses, he knew he was going to dedicate the rest of his life to the person he intended to marry and to love you harder than you do to him.
aventurine never dares to dream about a family with you, he couldn't bring himself to crave it when the past of failing to protect his own in sigonia haunted him like some sort of ghost, everything feels illegal. the thoughts exiled the golden boy in prison of indecision and despair,... and then he stumbles upon the last words leaving his mouth when you mention wanting a betrothal life with him. he didn't feel ready yet – he'd fail you, (at first!), and it was disheartening. you said you understood and were there with him the entire time, but aventurine knew he was the problem, not you.
aventurine wanted to confide in you that he would be lying if he said his eyes weren't tearing up at the sight of you waiting patiently until he is ready, until he surpassed all of his trauma and reached his final decision. he knew he never deserved you, no matter how hard you'd been trying to make him feel like he did, he would then die for you, gambled all of his existence over again just to lose it all to your overpower love.
aventurine was a coward, he claimed. he couldn't bring his messed up life that once considered so insignificant that it was traded as some goods up for auction, and a chip he brought to bet in his high stakes with treacherous risks to dedicate to you, it was unfair for you, he couldn't be selfish. it was excruciating that he couldn't refrain himself from basking in your unconditional love, even if, to him, it was forbidden.
and when he had you pressed against the wall, aventurine lifted your chin up and kissed you fiercely with the best of gratitude and love, mostly to shut you up and to soothe his aching heart when he heard you repeat that you understood with that agonizing voice once again, aventurine said he was sorry, that he would do better and sort this out quickly to make everything up to you properly. it pained him to see you wait so voluntarily for him, he was trapped with hesitation, between letting himself love you with his entirely heart and the thought that you'd definitely deserve someone better than him?
but when on a beautiful friday, aventurine's heart burned selfishly with the swelling sight of you, wearing an apron so breathtakingly, humming to your favourite song on the phone sat beside the counter, the delicious aroma you're stirring filled his senses, his breath hitched, it felt like as if you had already been his spouse, cooking dinner, waiting for their husband to be home, and to his utmost selfish thought that spoke louder than all of his logical minds, just, what if... someday you got tired and gave up on him? would he be able to see you looking like this ever again?
"Kakavasha..."
he opened his eyes, the real name of his that you let slip so easily from your soft lips felt like a salvation; he hummed in response, gently holding your hand on his face as you looked down at the sleepy man on your lap. aventurine caressed the shiny cold material with a small exclusive gem he selected himself attatched on top of it that wrapped perfectly around your ring finger, contentment was written all across his face. ah, yes... he has been sleeping in his spouse's lap, no?
"can you please get up? it's almost past lunch and we haven't had anything properly," you sigh, the chuckle you let out helplessly.
aventurine stirred slightly before lazily sitting up, scooting closer and snaking his arms around you, holding you snuggled against him while he buried his face in your hair, sinking entirely in your presence.
"mhm... sit still. just a little longer. lunch can wait, i'll swallow them whole everything you make, anyway."
So if, once again, your husband dozed off on your lap on a calming sunday morning, make sure to do something with it. if not, please be prepared and stay strong with a clear mind or you'd end up getting charmed by his antics which he knew so well that it touched right in the soft spot for only him in you. (or you might as well pay him back with your own cooking technique, one of the reasons he married you home and loved you so good...)
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© 2024 https-sourlimes. all rights reserved. (banner source: aventurine's eidolons 5 from official honkai: star rai art)
ending notes: *sigh* this man is making me feeling things. ❤️‍🩹 and tagging @synqiri because this cutie asked to be here <33
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auspicioustidings · 2 days
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I am sure I must have yapped about this before but consider alpha Ghost who despises omegas. Roba was an omega and he used every bit of his biology against Ghost to try and break him. He just cannot be around omegas now, he hates it when any of his pack even smells like one from being out and about.
It means their pack beta Gaz gets treated like their omega to an extent. It's not like he hates it, it's nice that they want to spoil him, but he also wants to look after someone y'know? Everyone thought he'd present as an alpha when he was growing up and he still feels the instinct to protect those weaker than him. It maybe gets to him a little that he feels like an alpha, he is a beta and he gets treated like an omega.
He does not expect to present late. He certainly does not expect an omega scent match to be the thing that triggers it. You're everything he has ever wanted and he knows he will break Ghost's heart if he brings you home. So he doesn't.
You are rejected by your scent match and it hurts. You didn't realise how awful it would be, how much it would wreak havoc on your system. Alphas can reject a scent match and not be too affected but omegas? It is horrific.
Soap smells you on Gaz no matter how much he tries to hide it. His fucking scent match and Gaz is hiding them. The others were too distracted by Gaz's new alpha scent but Johnny always did have the best nose, and he is not going to let this go. He knows Ghost's feelings and he loves the man, but he will not ignore their omega to spare him from confronting his trauma.
You don't trust him when he tracks you down. Another scent match here to break your heart all over again? He's so upset at how sick you've gotten over it, gets to his knees and begs for a chance for his pack.
Only when you finally let him take you home, Ghost growls at you. One of your scent matched alphas growls at you. You want to die. You run away while Soap and him get into a shouting match.
You meet your last alpha while you are running. Price has no idea what is happening when you crash into him as he's walking the path to home. He never thought he'd have an omega. A scent match at that? It's more than he deserves he thinks. He's happy about you running into him, you're his and it feels wonderful. Only you are wildly distressed while smelling like Soap and he needs to figure out why.
He tells you to stay put because he can feel Ghost through the bond, feel his turmoil. He should never have left you, but his concern for his pack mate took priority.
The thing about meeting all your scent matches in quick succession is that it nose dives you into a heat. But they hate you. One rejected you, one brought you to another so he could growl at you, one left you when you were in distress. You are so distraught that you can't go to them because you are certain they will only be disgusted that you would ask them for help with your heat.
You find the nearest shelter. It's a crumbling shed out the back of their property. It doesn't do much to keep out the cold, there are leaks that get worse when it starts to snow through the night. You wish there would be more because you are burning.
The snow storm muffles your scent. The only reason you don't die is because Ghost braved the storm to go grab more firewood from the shed.
There he is, the alpha who hates omegas with his scent matched omega in heat, in pain and in danger. He walks away. You accept death would be a kindness now.
Except you don't die because he sends the others. You don't die because even though he cannot stand to be around you or to smell you, he gives his pack to you. He sits in the armchair all night listening as his pack bundles you into the pack bedroom and knots you through your heat while desperately trying to combat the hypothermia that was setting in.
It's months and months of angst and tension and misery as the pack tries to divide their love between their pack mate and their omega. Ghost hates himself every time he growls at you and scares you. You hate yourself for tearing this pack apart.
There doesn't seem to be a happy ending here until a pair of betas visit town. Maybe Ale and Rudy are just what this pack was missing to make it whole. Maybe they soothe all those frayed edges, act as a buffer. And maybe, just maybe, one day Ghost and you realise all at once that somewhere between you starting to growl right back at him and him starting to make an extra cup of tea for you, you fell entirely in love.
The rest of the pack can't believe it took you two idiots so long to realise it.
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strawberryblue-blog · 10 hours
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Kisses —FC BARCELONA.
summary: What are their kisses like or how do they like to kiss you?
warnings: none. cute, soft, fluff, headcanon.
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—Pedri Gonzalez.
His kisses are too long and affectionate. He likes the sensation of feeling you close to him, he thinks it is intimate and the most tender way to show love.
He could spend hours kissing your lips, soft and delicate, showing you how much he likes your lips. He is very shy at times but if you kiss him first, he will not be able to stop.
Your soft and full lips are like an addiction for Pedri, he loves the sensation of feeling them on his skin at any time. Whether on his cheeks or forehead. During sex, he also kisses your lips a lot, especially to silence his squeals and to make you feel loved. Because he really loves you and your lips a lot.
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—Pablo Gavi.
One of the most amateur kissers in history, not of your lips but of your neck and jaw. He likes your lips but is obsessed with the soft, supple skin of your neck.
Especially because he likes to mark his trails, so when his lips are on your neck, he will play with you until you turn red. He loves the sensation of hearing you gasp and laugh at the same time.
During sex, he prefers not so much to kiss as to watch. Watching you is more his thing, but, after the action he is very affectionate and caring. Maybe there he kisses you too much to make up for what he couldn't kiss you before.
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—Ferran Torres.
Ferran knows what a good kisser he is, he always received compliments about it and you always remind him of it. So when he is with you he likes to kiss you all the time because he knows how much you like his kisses.
He kisses you anywhere, no matter where it is, he knows how to make your skin bristle with so little. On your lips, neck and shoulders. Your shoulders are his weakness.
When you are having sex he doesn't kiss so much because he likes to concentrate on you but from time to time he seeks your lips. His kisses are very long and seductive.
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—Fermin López.
Fermín loves kissing, loves kissing you and loves to be kissed by you. An exchange of mutual love which, for Fermín, is heaven itself. He loves to feel your lips on his, short or long, he doesn't care.
He could kiss you all day long, on your lips, your thighs, your belly, your neck or your face. He's super cheesy and tender. He knows you like it and he will take advantage of it to feel you.
Not necessarily during sex, because sometimes he can't hold back the moans and has to let them out but after he's done, he'll be a ball of love. He will kiss you so much, until you fall asleep. Just like the next morning, he will wake you up with his kisses.
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—Alejandro Balde.
Although he loves to kiss your lips, his lips always find your hands to kiss them delicately. He is so tender and delicate, he loves to make you feel like a princess.
Although your lips are his favorite, he will kiss them whenever you can. Every now and then he will give you a peck on your lips. He finds it fun and romantic. He is obsessed with your mouth, so lips and tongue for him.
When you are having sex, he likes to kiss you even more. It's a different kind of connection and he loves to feel your warm lips on his.
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—Hector Fort.
He's definitely a kisser, a lot. Too much. And not only that, he kisses like the gods. Hector has a gift and he knows how to use it on you.
Kissing your neck, chest and shoulders is his favorite pastime while you're together. No matter what you do he will come and take his time with you. He concentrates on you, kissing your skin delicately with that seductive and haughty touch he has.
During sex he kisses much more your breasts or shoulders than your lips. But when you're done, he'll take care of leaving you with lungs and lips asleep.
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—Lamine Yamal.
He is overconfident and despite being young, he has a certain amount of experience. He loves to kiss you either on the lips or on your forehead, he finds it protective and tender.
He likes to kiss your nose too, as a little detail he has with you. But sometimes he plays rough and wants you to kiss him and take the initiative.
In sex he is a little kisser but not so much, maybe more your neck or bite your shoulders but he will definitely do it when he finishes and kiss you for a while afterwards.
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—Pau Cubarsí.
He is not a big fan of kissing on the lips because he thinks he doesn't give them correctly. He's still young and just learning, he's also a bit insecure.
Clearly he doesn't agree with that, Pau is a good kisser and when he kisses you he is intense and fiery. But he likes it when you kiss him long and deep.
He prefers to kiss your face how, forehead, nose, cheeks and ears. He finds it tender and that is his way of showing his love. In bed he may be a little more kissy to show his love for you, he likes to be gentle and soft with you.
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Hi
I know this is a really stupid question but what does it mean when people say "If you can take that detail out and it doesn't change the story, it doesn't belong there"?
I have autism so that's probably why I'm not understanding, but to me it doesn't make sense. If I take something out, it will change the story, because,,, I'm literally taking something out. I'm changing it. The story had something, and now it doesn't.
I just don't know how to figure out what "doesn't belong".
It always seems like people use that "advice" whenever it comes to a character being disabled/POC/gay/etc. so I'm a little wary of it tbh.
When Removing a Detail Changes a Story Fundamentally vs Superficially
If you remove a detail from your story, no matter how small, it "changes" the story in that the detail is no longer there. However, there's a difference between a fundamental change (something that changes the story dramatically) versus a superficial change (something that changes the story in a trivial way.)
For example, let's say you have a scene where your character is eating ice cream with a friend, and they vehemently ask for no cherry on top. Does the cherry, and whether or not your character mentions it, have any bearing on the story later? Does your character's vehement rejection of the cherry tell us anything critical about the character?
Let's say that the cherry is important because as a result of this vehement rejection, we learn that the character is allergic to sulfides (which are used in the productions of maraschino cherries), and this sulfide allergy becomes important later in the story. Removing this moment, where they vehemently ask for no cherry on top, would fundamentally change the story because without it, the reader wouldn't learn that the character has a sulfides allergy, which becomes important later. This is a change that would deeply affect the story.
On the other hand, let's say the character doesn't have a sulfides allergy, they just don't like cherries, and this is not an important character detail and never comes up again. In this case, this vehement rejection of the cherry on top doesn't add anything to the story. Removing it only changes the story superficially, not in a way that matters.
So, to tell whether or not removing a detail would fundamentally change the story, ask yourself: "Does removing this detail prevent the story from playing out the way I planned it? Does removing this detail mean the reader won't understand a character or something that happens later?" If the answer to one or both of these questions is "yes," that makes it a fundamental change. If the answer to both questions is "no," it's a superficial change.
When it comes to the details of diversity like race, culture, religion, disability, sexual orientation, and gender identity, the issue tends to be more about making sure you're not just "painting on" this detail of diversity. Like... you can have a character who uses a wheelchair without that detail being the most important thing about the character, and without it playing a major role in the story, but you also need to make sure you create a thoughtful, authentic portrayal of a person who uses a wheelchair. In other words, you wouldn't want to gloss over or trivialize the ways in which being in a wheelchair affects the character. For example, let's say you have a group of characters who are solving a mystery and it requires them to go into an old abandoned house on a rocky hillside. The only way to access the house is up a flight of wobbly rock steps. You wouldn't want to just illustrate the character effortlessly wheeling themselves up these steps, because that would be unrealistic and inauthentic. At that point, the wheelchair just becomes a detail that's "painted on" because it doesn't really have any impact on the character or the story. But, if you show the other characters helping this character up the steps, or finding an alternate route for them to use, that makes sure this detail (that they use a wheelchair) isn't superficial.
The best way to make sure you create a thoughtful, authentic portrayal of a diverse character--when you, yourself, do not share that diversity trait--is to make sure you have a qualified sensitivity reader who does share that trait (and potentially more than one if possible) so they can let you know if there are issues with your portrayal.
Let me know if you have further questions!
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pilot-boi · 3 days
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White Knight Time Travel idea : People are suspecting..
Jaune and Weiss are at the Vytal Festival , each one with their respective teams , their mission has gone..well.. so far. Even without trying to change so much some things never change like Team CVFY and Prof.Port saving the city or Ruby meeting Penny...
But that doesn't matter compared to the titanic work they would have to do during this specific moment..it was now or never
~Weiss Side~
Ruby:WE DID IIIT!!!!....Anyone esle is starving?....
Weiss listened to Ruby and Blake's chat from the side , each time they have this small moments the more she thinks how everyone took Beacon's days from granted
Having to relieve the fight against Team ABRN made her notice how..unprepared they were ; even herself with her "Competent" perfomance wasn't still not enough to face that monster..
Weiss..
The Grimm entering Beacon..
Weiss..
The Witch's inner circle playing right under their noses..
WEISS..
Pyrrha and Penny along many other students being casualties of the..
WEISSS!
Weiss:W-W-What?!
Yang: Your scroll is ringing , shouldn't you answer it?
Weiss noticed her scroll , the contact named "FATHER"..
Right..her time at Beacon was almost up..
Weiss:I will call him later , thanks for making me know Yang..
The Blonde Brawler has noticed her friend weird..this last few day , she can't say why..but it's there , spacing out of chats most of the time or reacting to certain words like Destiny , Maiden or even mentioning locations like Haven Academy can get her all shaky
Right now Ice Queen is looking at her Sis talking with Emerald and her silent friend like she's trying way too hard to keep herself civil , her face may not show it but that tense posture and hands behind shouted something was wrong
And to say the last person she saw acting this way her Dad after..her Supermom left was all she needed to know , Ice Queen's hiding something and she will find out
~Jaune's side~
Jaune did miss Beacon , the academy.. , but coming right back wouldn't make it any better..quite the contrary it shows him how somethings must remain as memories..
The Vytal Festival just started and the mood seems festive enough for him to enjoy a little. Children playing around , teens being themselves truly a moment to breathe fresh air
Miss : Gather around as I tell the story of the Girl who fell through the World!
Jaune tenses hearing that , it's just a woman reading a story to a bunch of kids..nothing dangerous..
Yet..
He takes a look at his armour , clean not rusted..his face is still young and Crocea Mors is still complete..
Ren: Jaune?
Jaune:W-What?!
Nora: You have been standing there for a while , did the story peak your interest? Alyx's story is a classic! The Curious Cat is my favorite character! So mischevious!
If looks could kill , Nora's smile would have been erased a while ago..
Jaune:That Cat is nothing but troubles..
Nora:What? Don't tell me you are a fan of the Red Prince? Or the Rusted Knight?
Sensing hostility , Ren tried to change the topic..
Ren:Why don't we go with Pyrrha? She's saved us a nice spot in that Mistralian restaurant.
Both teammates agree , Nora leaves because she has won another petty argument..but Jaune seemed so personal about it..The Girl who fell through the World is just a Children's story..why is he so defensive about it?
Lie Ren is someone who can read the room quite well and to his knowledge..there's something wrong with Jaune..
He acts like..an adult sometimes , there's nothing wrong with that but it seems off..
Even their stategies , they are a group of Four , Team JNPR..but Jaune always acts like only Nora and him are part of the team
Ren even hears his silent sobs when he has nightmares , the words "Cinder" "Kill" "Penny" "Pyrrha" is all he has as evidence , trying to make sense of said word it would be something like
Cinder will kill Pyrrha and Penny
That sounded so..dumb , Cinder is a student along her team but he would ask Jaune later right now they have a fight to win
👀👀👀
So many of these WK Time travel asks are from their POV, I LOVE this look into their friends’ view
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