#doesnt mean it shouldn't be Fixed

[colourful-void]

Of the popular Carmine interpretations (and carmine and kieran relationship interpretations) ive seen, none of them vibe quiteee right with me, so here's mine.

carmine is not a good sister to Kieran but she’s also not a bad person. not because she's not trying to be a good sis or because she doesn't like him, etc etc, but because they're at a point rn where they dont mesh right, and no one is stepping in to mediate or help them. Like the fact is Carmine Is an angry and abrasive person, who truly does care about her village and the people she cares about. She does love Kieran and Kieran does love her, and I think they both know that. But the way she treated Kieran Did contribute to his self doubt issues. Carmine and Kieran’s relationship Isn’t Healthy! But fuck, it’s not beyond repair. There’s still love there, there’s a future they can have. Being around a person who constantly and consistently gets angry, esp if that person is someone in power over u (like ur older sister) fucks a guy up! Even when you know that person loves you especially if you know they love you!

Carmine is an angry person and you know what sometimes people are like that! But look at them… I think they reached a point where Carmine shooing Kieran off was seen as just… Fine with everyone involved, because “(she) didn’t hit him or anything”. She's not lashing out at him trying to be awful she's not trying to hurt him.

Who’s giving Carmine a proper outlet? She’s got battle, is that helping anything? Her primary Pokémon is Morpeko, the Pokemon that switches between angry and happy. Does that make one side any less real than the other? Does being angry mean she’s not really loving? Does being loving mean she’s not really angry? Does loving Kieran mean she didn’t hurt him?

You’re a teen, and you’re angry. Over all sorts of things, some little and some large, but it doesn’t really matter as much as the fact that She’s Angry. It doesn’t matter why. It's not something you can help, you can put on a nice face, but you're still upset about things, and you should be! What do you do about it? You can't bottle it up. You’ll break, and you're bad at it anyway. Get mad at your teachers? Get in trouble. Get mad at your grandparents? Get in trouble. There’s no place safe to Feel Angry, but you Have to FEEL you can’t help it! You can’t help it. So you let yourself get a little angry at your brother, cause he doesn’t mind. You're still holding back, anyhow. He knows you still love him. He knows. He has to know right? It’s not that you dislike him, he just gets you so mad sometimes and- you still love him. You’re just bad at showing it, but he’s always stood up for you, you hear it even though he tries to keep it quiet. And maybe your brother's a little quiet and a little nervous, but he's always like that. it's fine. Things are fine.

You're a teen, and your sister keeps getting angry at you. And you hardly did anything wrong, but you're never quite enough. Not with her, not with school, not with any kind of "friends" (which you don't have). Cause your sister is so so strong and you really do look up to her, so much, even if she gets mad at you, cause you know she cares you know that. But maybe if you were stronger, she wouldn’t get so upset with you… Part of you knows that isn't true. Part of you starts to believe it anyway. You're used to this, and it's not awful so... it must be fine. It's fine.

And you're brother and sister, outcasts in your own town, so if you squabble a bit, it’s normal right? That’s fine. It’s not broken enough to fix, and everything wears away and away till it breaks. But they were outcasts anyway, troublemakers anyway, it was inevitable anyway, so there's no point doing anything. It's not really a problem, not to anyone Outside their bubble so.

Things are fine.

[wikiangela]

.

[cringelordofchaos]

Do I "not know who I am" or am I just really insecure and am trying to find a mask to put over myself because despite my best efforts to avoid it, my human nature drives me to put an active effort into having a superficial reputation, rather than letting myself just be natural, and be content with myself without feeling the need to let strangers know who or what I could possibly be?

[fmhobeus]

so, nerdy loser college boy choso *sighs* *opens legs*

a/n: just so you know, this man is gonna make you do all the hard work for a piece of that loser boy dick 😮‍💨 so... um so at some point around 2000 words in i realised this is way more than a hc post :3 eat it up if you will!

nerdy!choso who borderline has no friends except his gaming buddies who doesnt meet irl like ever. he doesnt like going to classes, especially this one. he doesnt need it but it's a requirement for all first years. and boy is glad it is when he sees you come in.

nerdy!choso who only listens to discussions when you're talking. suddenly he needs to put down his headphones and nod at every word you're saying. his eyes follow every gesture of your hand, every sway of your ass, every single time you fix your hair.

nerdy!choso who is starting to get a bit enamored with you, your style, your way of speaking. he loses track of time gawking at you in class from the last benches as you prettily do all the work in the class. he hates how beautifully your hair falls on your face, how nicely your clothes fit you despite being pretty modest for college. he hates how he can see the silhouette of your tits when you turn to the side. but he's too much of a gentleman to keep looking.

nerdy!choso who ends a game early when he remembers you, lying and saying that he had promised someone to meet them somewhere. the place is his bathroom and the person was you. god, you really shouldn't wear those tight jeans to class y'know? how will he continue to be a gentleman if you do?

nerdy!choso who despises groupwork but prays to dear god this class has some reason to pair you two together. he's getting so desperate to talk to you knowing damn well he too pussy to do it on his own. and the lord answers his prayers, the teacher assigns groups of three for a presentation. it's you, him and some slacking trust fund baby.

nerdy!choso who is about to combust and have a full blown panic attack when he sees you approach him after class with that smile on your face that would make the angels swoon. you're going on about distributing the work equally and what not while he is trying his fucking hardest to not accidently make eye contact with you and piss his pants : (

nerdy!choso who now has your name, your number and your email and he feels like the happiest man on earth. his hands are literally shaking as he responds to your request to call. he's overthinking every word he types.

choso: yeah i can do wednesday. choso: i'll be okay with whatever day you want.

nerdy!choso who hops on video call and short circuits with a view of you in an oversized band tee and a brief view of your room. why did you have to be this pretty? why did you have to video call him when you couldve done the work on text? why did you have to put your hair up like that? why oh why did you have you say "choso? hey, you there?" so seductively to bring him back to the present?

nerdy!choso who gets like no work done in a 30 minute call which felt like three hours. he knew he would hardly be paying attention so decided to record the call with your consent, saying he'd need the notes you were typing out on screen only to play it back and stroke his dick to you for what might've have been the twentieth time this week. his strokes only getting faster as you say his name in that voice he imagines sounds way better moaning and screaming it instead.

nerdy!choso who, after the presentation, is on greeting terms with you when he sees you studying in the library. he sits as far away from you as he can while still being able to see you. occupying the coziest corner of the library to stare at you study right when you come up to him.

"can i join you, choso? i'm all alone and your space seems comfy" you say with a smile, "of course, i dont mean to disturb you, is saw you were on your own too, so..."

uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. god no. please no. please dont say yes. please dont be staring at her like some dumb idiot (too late) please.

"uh... yeah sure why not?" he awkwardly says as he makes room for you to keep your things. he was such an idiot for thinking he could say no to your pretty face in the first place.

nerdy!choso who is absolutely drunk on your scent. it feels way better than any alcohol he's ever had. he feels like an animal in heat when he smells your sugary perfume mixed with the styrofoam-y air conditioned smell of the library. you're gonna kill him, yknow? how is he supposed to respond to this? what is one to do when their stupid college crush sits next to them? he gives you a half smile before furiously typing away on reddit, the only place with answers for losers like him.

nerdy!choso whose hands. oh his hands. (can be i a big whore for a second?) his long hands that feel like they're the size of your face. his kempt, beautiful and trimmed nails. his lengthy fingers that seem to yearn for something more to foddle with than just the keyboard or controller. he typed as such an insane pace it made your pussy ache. he was going so fast, jesus. those hands were meant to do more than just ask "how to talk to girls" on reddit.

nerdy!choso who (on the advice of reddit) asks if you would want him to order something for you. you tell you had a frappuccino not too long ago and that it was quite sweet and filling. and he hates himself for thinking that he could give you something much sweeter and filling than that like a horny fourteen year old.

nerdy!choso who is now determined to not come off as a creep so he does his work with the focus of four adderalls. he is typing as fast as his heartbeat, not realising he got two classes worth of work done in just an hour. he looks over at you, blissfully unaware of the absolute war in his mind.

nerdy!choso who feels as though if he doesn't muster up the courage to ask you out right then and there, he'll probably be the biggest loser on the planet. (as if he wasn't already)

nerdy! pathetic! choso who stutters a million times and barely gets the job done then too. his eyes are scanning your entire being (trying his best to not gawk at your tits) for any sign of discomfort.

"so- uhh so ummm... wo-would you, like, uh... like to do this again? sometime?... i got a.. a lot of work done today, so.."

oh heavens, the sheer nervousness in his tone makes you want to pull his pants down and show him how to really get work done.

you agree with a smile, even suggesting a better, more ambient (more romantic) cafe to study in. choso's heart is about to burst and flood the fucking library with his blood the way it is beating at an alarming rate.

"umm yeah uh 5 sounds... awesome... i hope it isn't a-a bother to you?" "no way, choso. i loved today," you offer him a smile as you gather your things, "i really like your hair, by the way" "i like your hair too, y-y-you smell very nice", he gulps.

fuck. why did he say that? what? you smell nice? who says that? is he like ten? you can't help but giggle at the sheer embarassment on his face.

he feels as though he's gonna melt into a puddle and turn to stone and throw up all at the same time.

nerdy!choso who is the most stupidly hot guy you've ever met, you think as you go giggling back to your dorm. mental note: pick a skimpy outfit for 5pm ;)

[real-life-werewolf]

thinking about tmagp having desires rather than fears and its fitting together so well and not just in the statements, but with the oiar employees as well

sam desires knowledge. he's digging around places he shouldn't be looking for things he shouldn't know. he asks question after question, wanting to know not just how the system works, but why exactly it works that way

gwen desires respect. she won't put up with her coworkers' shit. she works hard, wanting to be at the top of the food chain not out of any real love for the job, but because of the sort of status that comes with it.

colin desires control. he is losing his mind over the somehow functioning computer system, but refuses to give up. he doesn't seem to care about what the oiar really does, its not about making the job better. its about the power that comes with fixing such a messed up thing.

alice desires freedom, i think. im not as sure with her. she doesnt seem to want freedom from the job, she wouldve quit if thats the case, she actually seems to work here for the freedom. she comes in, does her job (mostly) and then gets on with her life. (though if anyone else has a better idea for her please add it)

and the thing is...in all the statements, the subjects desires and obsessions are their downfall. it either kills them, traumatizes them, or just ruins their life.

and i just wonder what that means for the future of these 4

[neptune-scythe]

actually in an aplatonic rage because why is the message always that people need friends and relationships in order to have good lives?

And the romance/sexual side of that pisses me off too, but at least there is some bit of representation and conversation for not valuing that or not valuing it as much as other people

but even then the solution is often "yeah I don't need that because I have my friends"

???

why is the message that the only time our life can be good is when other people are involved

like other people's support and willingness to be around me does not determine whether or not my life is good and satisfies me omfg

and yes obviously I know some people do want friends and that does improve their life, this post is not about those people. some of us do not want that, it has absolutely no benefits, and actually makes life worse

love is not the greatest thing, its not the goal for everyone, relationships are not everything, friends are not everything, dying alone with no one who loves you or remembers you is not the worst thing ever, some of us actually prefer that idea

and why is that so damned hard for people to understand

especially when those same people that are trying to push the need for relationships on you will literally just use you and then dump you when they're done, even if you tried to be a good friend/partner/whatever to them

like ok maybe if you think its so important actually be good at it??? actually show me the supposed value in relationships??? or just shut up and let me live my life the way that i see is best and actually trust that i might know what's best for me and you don't

being aromantic or asexual is hard enough for people to understand, but there's even less people who are even willing to entertain the concept that aplatonic people might exist and it's just so dumb. why can't people just let loners be loners without calling them depressed or broken or probably a violent person with criminal tendencies,

especially in a world where for traumatized, neurodivergent, or mentally ill people, a lot of people just don't care enough to put the effort into that relationship, because we're too much work, we're too different, we're just too much, why are people then pissing on us for accepting that no one wants us and just living our lives without that

just let aplatonic people live our lives, we're not even doing anything like omfg stop trying to force us to be social, stop telling us our life will only matter if someone else loves us, stop saying we're just depressed and going out with people will fix us, stop trying to make us "normal" and just accept that just because we're different doesnt mean we're a threat to your way of life and need to be altered to preserve your closed minded idea of what humanity should look like, especially when the social world is filled with obligation and things you should be doing and shouldn't be doing that maybe isn't actually beneficial for anyone

we're living our lives the way that works for us, we're not hurting anyone

just let us be

[asmogorna]

Sorry to send another ask so soon (and idk if someones asked this already) but if you have any headcanons for Jon I'd love to hear them!

OK SO im really sorry it took me THIS long to get to this i quite literally.. forgot i had smth in my inbox woopsies. the reason i remembered is cause mootie posted some Spine hcs and i was like "woah"

alsooo im not good at putting my thoughts onto "paper" especially in english so you will have to excuse me

anywho my jon headcanons some sad some random /ref

First of all i think that his relationship with Peter Walter I would be far from close. he would be seen as the type of child who's both "too much mess to take care of" and "strong enough to take care of himself" if that makes sense. Peter did love him as his creation but would openly admit that he's not his proudest one, meanwhile Jon wouldn't feel much connection at all. he sympathized with his creator but only in a way he would with any other human being, there was more gratitude than love

Jon struggles with constant malfunctions and his mechanisms are a mess (partially because he gets himself in trouble all the time), so at one point Peter would get tired of fixing him so frequently, and tell him that he can just "walk some things off". That thought stuck to the bot and he would think of all of his malfunctions as slight inconveniences, i mean, he can still perform so why pay attention to the constant neck pain or powering up struggles ? it just became a habit and he kind of forgot that things like that shouldn't be ignored

After a long while when Peter Walter VI grew up enough to start learning more about how automatons work, Jon would be used as a "lab rat" (not really but its just what he himself called it) for young VI to practice fixing mechanisms. thats pretty much when he heard "Wait this cant be right" about his messed up physical state for the first time in a long while. little Peter didnt get to fix all of the things that were wrong with Jon's body, but he did manage to take care of some of them, which almost surprised Jon with how nice it felt to not hear pieces of broken gears rattle in his head every time he moved (who wouldve thunk)

ok now to more lighthearted stuff !!

Jon actually has a very strong bond with Sam ! He loves watching the mustached man work and sometimes follows him around, just enjoying his company. At first Sam thought that the tone-gold automaton was creepy and uncanny, but grew attached to him and his stupidity (/lh). i also think that Sam would be one of the few Walter workers who dont baby the Jon and actually treat him like they would treat any other robot :3

Also Jon just loves his robot family endlessly. shocker !! im not sure how explain it but i think hes the only one to look at other Walter automatons and go "bro i love them so much" at all times. in his head at least. obviously he teases them and argues with them but he wont think twice before accepting a hug from his siblings (except for Upgrade theyre rivals /j)

Speaking of Upgrade !! They feel the most sibling-ish to me (aside from Rabbit & The Spine) because they constantly poke fun at each other yet they still are willing to give each other help and comfort when needed. She once had to carry him all the way back to the Walter manor because they forgot to take some extra cans of crystal pepsi

Also Upgrade got in an accident once which caused her to have a fractured face for a couple of days, and Jon was there the entire time to comfort her and constantly tell her that shes still very pretty

Unlike with other robots, the food that Jon eats doesnt just fall through his uncovered jaw/run into his boiler or anything like this, instead it just. disappears. once he closes his mouth the food just vanishes into the unknown, yet Jon claims that he enjoys the process of "eating" (nobody knows how it works)

LITTLE GIRLS THAT GO TO SPG SHOWS LOVE HIM !! once the band finishes performing, he constantly gets pulled away by a small giggling pink-ish blob to join their tea party or hula hooping contest. thats why he has quite a knowledge on "girly" themes and educates other automatons on the matter

THATS IT FOR NOW TY FOR READING :3

[bahrtofane]

My silly silly girl, Yusra. I should write her some time me thinks. this is a good intro for her tho

Asra 

—--

Turbulent. Always in a feverish haze desperate to latch on to each other even if it means clawing skin raw. 

What does it mean to love, to be loved ? 

There's so much yearning, it never really goes away does it.

I'd like to think there are moments of brief joy before it sputters and dies out like a flame in a downpour. Can't do much to keep it a light but pray.

Julian

—---

Games. Pretending to be so grand and yet so foolish. Coy, in ways that tear down any expectation for each other.

Julian gives no mind to the hum in the back of his mind at every touch, he keeps playing. His turn has been awfully long. 

There's always a rush whenever they're in each other's presence, eyes darting everywhere but where they should be.

Someone should really end the game shouldn't they. 

Lucio 

—--

Sharp. Pointed gaze, fixed sneer. A guilt that bubbles from somewhere far from here, and yet makes its way up the throat to coat the mouth in black, rendering speech and subsequently thought most useless.

It's not a game, never a game. The stakes are always stacked high, so so high. Aren't they tired? 

Lucio thinks his shoulders have molded permanently into restless and rigid, almost by nature now. 

Yusra thinks his discomfort needs to be hailed from more. So the stakes are raised again. 

Nadia 

—--

A waltz. Elegant, yet the smiles are strung by muscles that threaten to buckle and break. 

There are so many eyes and ears and gazes and opinions floating about them. So many it begins to cloud their gaze. The palace is turning into a prison, and they must serve it.

Only in the late hours of the night does relief come. A crackle of wind pulls back the curtains, and the facade crumbles. It's all too much at times, perhaps the palace isn't meant for Yusra, a countess is not one to be in her presence as such.

Each woe is neatly placed in an iron fortress, sealed and hidden as the curtains draw open once more.   

Portia 

—-

Giddy. Smiles that crackle and burst like lightning. Electric, bright. The same smiles that give way to a torrent, a downpour. Emotions that are held on to nothing but mere force. Forces that tear and uproot all in their way if left to their own.

Almost blinded by the desire to recklessly charge forward. Ignoring even what they hold dear along the way. 

Yusra fears the uncertainty as much as she welcomes it. 

Muriel 

—---

Push and pull. The pulling of timid nature out of its shell, and its pull back. Perhaps it will get cumbersome, the tether of the old game wearing out till it snaps back into the face of its holders on both ends. 

Or perhaps the game will end, the rope thrown and a new constant introduced.

Muriel doesnt know all about that, he likes what is familiar. But Yusra chases what is new and unknown. 

[dropswand]

I was rewatching re zero, and I don't know if Im overthinking, but I do think after subaru dies the timeline he died in continues. If the timeline was one singular that Subaru could indeed repeat by dying and erasing that death to stay in that fixed lane, than it doesnt explain the scene in season 1.

While Rem's torturing Subaru, we see Ram send wind magic to kill him instantly to prevent anymore pain. If the timeline resets to Subaru's updated save point, and considering Subaru died instantly after that blow from Ram, then Rem shouldn't have been able to comment on her sister's kindess and turn away from his now dead body- the timeline should presumably pause and rewind.

But it doesn't, it seemingly continues.

Meaning Subaru has left dozens of timelines in shambles by dying- intentionally or not.

[spooniestrong]

Is this normal? I had my first Occupational therapy ever. My therapist asked me about sleep and i admitted i have a hard time falling asleep.

She said "if you start a routine you can fix your circadian rhythm"

I said its been since i was a kid and she immediately started saying "yes it tends to be hard especially if you didnt have a routine as a kid"

I explained that wasn't the case i just don't get tired at night. I have insomnia. (On top of chronic pain, scoliosis and chronic fatigue).

She then went to say i shouldn't nap during the day so im tired at night and to get up at the same time everyday so no matter how much sleep i do or dont get i will be tired in the evening.

I struggle as is with bad brain fog and fatigue to the point i have days i struggle to be awake at all.

But now i feel im not trying hard enough. All the usual suggestions for sleep hygiene dont work for me and when i brought up i was on prescription one point for sleep she said she doesnt like those especially since im young and should save my liver.

I take a bunch of medication everyday.

She kept talking about how she's used to working with frail elderly ladies and that I'm young.

I feel like maybe i need to just work harder and grow up. Im young. I should be strong and independent. My fiance helps bathe me because my finger locks sometimes and i tend to scratch my head till it bleeds. But she said i need to be independent there too.

Maybe I'm not as sick as i thought and need to work harder. I didn't think my age (23) would mean I should need less help and be independent

No, that's not normal. 🩵🥄 You know your body and limitations best, and if your therapist isn't understanding that, you need a new one. (Her behavior and statements are classic medical ableism.)

Elderly and disabled people have quite different needs; if she doesn't know that, she shouldn't have the job she does. (My background is in geriatrics.)

There's nothing wrong with you needing help or accommodations. You are not the problem. *💙&🥄s*

[astronnova]

don't know if you still like scatter & wilt, but if you could make it canon (friendship, romance, doesn't matter) how would you do it within the story and if you could bend the canon?

see, thats where you're wrong. i've never stopped liking scatter & wilt. i've been on the scatter and wilt train since i was 14. im over 18 now. the locomotive will not be stopping either. im in this for the long haul

SO LIKE .... okay, in my head, i'd loooove canon s&w, but also i don't think them being a Canon Romantic Pairing would be the best. when i write stories i perosnally don't write that many romances, and in a show like RWBY i think there shouldn't be any focal romances (esp. since the showrunners have proven time and time again they have no idea what the hell they're doing). the show should focus on the character relationships but ... not romantic. dear God not romantically

THIS GOT LONG

IF I WERE TO MAKE S&W (of any form) CANON THOUGH... first we gotta overhaul the whole show. its garbage. we gotta restart. go back to beacon we're starting over.

hell FIRST fix is to make adam & blake not romantic ex's . he was her mentor, she looked up to him, he's like one or two years older than her. adam is mentored by sienna, who stokes the fire of his rage against the humans. blake and adam's falling out is over blake still choosing to see the good in humans while adam rejects them due to his past. he is NOT, i repeat NOT a crazy incel ex. WE ARE NOT DOING THAT HERE! ❌❌❌ NO SIR!

making adam crazy over blake only instead of keeping him focused on his ideals (like v1-(early)3 adam) keeps the faunus subplot from being swept under the rug like it is in canon

THE NEXT FIX. ruby's main struggle is her trying to come into her own as a leader. she has stage fright, she's socially awkward, she was bumped up one grade (ONE, not two this time), and her teammates don't take her seriously because of her lack of field experience despite her being a combat and intellectual prodigy.

the thing that drew me originally to s&w was their shared themes of red/black and roses, specifically rose petals played a huge part in their semblance. both left behind rose petals after using their semblance of speed and disintegration respectfully. it was very , very cool. 14 year old me then thought about how they could be narrative foils too. SO THATS WHAT WE'RE DOING LOL

adam is really interesting as an antagonist because he perfectly foils all four of the main girls. yang and adam with anger issues that are reflected in their semblances (even though v1-3 yang never had issues but whatever), blake for obvious reasons, WEISS for obvious reasons (seriously missed opportuninty), and finally ruby due to their opposing leadership roles.

adam is someone who is comfortable in a leadership role, he knows what he's doing. he's had plenty of experience and those that follow him know his capabilities and greatly respect him. he's an excellent leader, and he's devoted himself to his ideals and fights for his cause. he inspires others to fight with him and follow him. ruby, on the other hand, has no idea what she's doing.

she's awkward, she stutters, and not even her team take her seriously, much less other people. hell, ruby doesn't even have a concrete reason for wanting to become a huntress at this early point, all she knows is that she wants to be a hero and that her mother was her hero and a huntress, so that means being a huntress is being a hero. she doesnt know what being a hero means yet though

adam on the other hand knows what being a hero is, to him at least. its fighting for the people that can't fight for themselves, for the oppressed. using his strength to tear down those that abuse their strength and make them suffer in the opressed's place

apart of me wants to say that adam believes humans should instead be oppressed for. like. narrative reasons i guess? but also heres the thing i am aware that i am not able to do this subplot justice and def cant write up a nice draft on my first try right here. so i am going to politely leave it there for anyone else with more experience with this topic to attempt adding on if they wish. i think the main point im trying to make is that adam's idea of heroism needs to be strong, yet also he has to be wrong in some sort of way which is what separates him from the protagonists. he Goes To Far, or something. i dont know. i dont think i can write that well enough at this point in time too

so all this set up comes to this: their relationship. i think having ruby and adam meet outside of any combat related circumstance would be a pretty cool way to have them introduced to eachother, and opens up the chance for dialogue. i can't see them attempting to talk during a fight, and the only fight i can think of happening with the white fang is the breach in v2 where ruby and adam could meet. but at that point, ruby would either know about adam through blake and be wary, or blake would see adam and point out who he is. my point is that i think they need to meet outside of their own circles for a real chance at having them converse with narrative weight. could also make it a stressful scene where the audience knows whats going on while ruby does not.

ruby might meet adam at night in vale, in a shady back alley as she takes shortcuts to get back to beacon while blake talks to weiss or yang about her past mentor. blake could describe how much he loathes humans, and that he would hurt a human on sight simply because, overlayed with ruby seeing adam in an alleyway or something. the audience is on edge, blake is on edge, adam is on edge, and ruby is clueless. having the scene end with adam not attacking ruby and instead having him leave her unharmed releases the tension from the audience while also having them immediately question blake. was blake embellishing the truth? or was she simply telling her truth? especially for a character who's whole thing is lies and misdirection. could be interesting i think.

any conversation adam and ruby do have would be their opposing views on what being a hero means, and what you have to do as a hero. more so, ruby not knowing what heroism means to her besides it being ideallic while adam is much more jaded and set in stone about what heroism means. gimmie that juicy narrative conflict. the conflicting ideals. thats what im here for.

if there is a reveal for ruby that he is adam of the white fang, or his past with blake, or anything, you could easily slot in a betrayal element (but id rather save betrayal for cinder and ruby) or something. maybe the white fang aren't as antagonistic as they are in the show proper (to the point of Evil Pokemon Organization for the sake of it), or something, but i could see adam mentioning at some point that a leader must be a rock, or something along the lines of why he succeeds in leadership. maybe during a fight? who the hell knows. he plants ideas in rubys head about heroism, that maybe heroism isnt just upholding the law or upholding the current system. he makes her, and the audience, think. thats the important part

eventually at the end of an arc, or something, i think ruby would be able to answer him confidently about what it means to be a hero to her, and that their definitions are similar, but not the same, and that is why they'll remain on opposing sides until one budges. and both are incredibly stubborn. i think ruby's conclusion of what being a hero is, is to help those that cannot help themselves and to see the good in the world no matter what. one of her key traits is her optimism compared to everyones pessimism.

maybe some reasons for adam's interest in ruby is that optimism of hers. he used to be younger and idealistic too, but the world is cruel and he has seen the worst that the world has to offer, stuff like that. he finds it frustrating, or maybe even annoying, that the system that thrives off putting him and his people down creates naive shut ins like ruby. maybe he then respects her and sees her as an equal after she figures out how she sees the world. or something. ruby sees the good in everyone despite the horrors people throw at her, and maybe she inspires him to do the same. idk

this is all not even talking about the can of worms that is weiss and adam. which is also so interesting to me but they just didnt tickle 14 year old me's brain so. im stuck with the Rarest Rarepair. all aboard lol

i find it so interesting how they could be represented by monty's distinction, ruby is scatter, and adam is wilt. two different ways for dealing with conflict despite their similar appearances of something traditionally sweet and loving: roses

now if i wasn't just writing a story with an exploration of themes and you just told me to take what i want and force two characters together to make out, yeah id have ruby and adam tongue sloppy. who's gonna stop me

[itgomyway]

I've been into Non-Dualism for a while now, though not extensively. Previously, I was deeply involved in the Law of Assumption community. Then, I stumbled upon ND. It felt like a breath of fresh air, so liberating. I've consumed all sorts of ND content, from every nook and cranny of the internet. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster, this journey of slowly "detaching from ego".

Recently, something happened that sent me on a over-consumption, while trying to convince myself that "hey, it's okay". Honestly, I'm tired of reading without a clear sense of what steps to take. I've tried all sorts of techniques to loosen the grip of ego, but my mind keeps circling back to these issues, almost like they're haunting me. I get it, it's ego at play, but the anxiety attacks still hit hard.

I hope I'm not coming across as too demanding, I'm just genuinely seeking guidance in the best way possible. What more can I do?

There's so much conflicting advice out there. Some say understanding isn't crucial, it's just the ego making a fuss. Others suggest a slow process of self-inquiry, questioning what the ego is asserting and coming back to our core. It's left me feeling a bit bewildered and frankly, drained. I'm at a loss, just wanting a reset that brings some peace.

I get that Non-Dualism is supposed to be about simplicity and shouldn't bring about these feelings. But right now, I feel like I've got a full plate. My mom's financial situation hasn't been great, and I'm really anxious about her having to bear too much of a burden. Letting go of the desire to change my current circumstances is terrifying. What if letting go only means things stay the same or get worse? The pressure to make a change feels like it's closing in.

When people say "let it be" or advise to step back from actively trying to fix things, I'm left scratching my head. How do you navigate challenges by just letting them be? I feel defeated and just want to feel free. I'm scared about what the end of the week, or worse, the end of the month, might look like if I'm still stuck in this uncertainty. I've got a decent grasp of these concepts on an intellectual level, but when the day passes and I whisper "I AM" to myself, I struggle to truly feel it. It's like I'm held back by the limitations of this physical form.

I'm on the edge of giving up on chasing after achievements. Ego sometimes feels like this looming, scary presence. What I really want is to shed all of this weight, be kinder to myself, and find a path that leads to genuine freedom. What's the next step? What should I do? I want to stop trying, or figuring out.

Thanks a ton for taking the time to read this through. I've been following your blog and I really appreciate the kindness you bring to your community. Wishing you a great day ahead.

love im afraid in all of that reading, you missed the entire point. the point of non dualism is to free you from the human condition. you dont use non dualism to navigate the human condition it doesnt exist in the first place.

remember everything is you. you are consciousness. everything else is fake and its only the ego that deems it as real.

ignore it. its not real. who cares?

that’s how i live “life”. i dont confirm nor deny anything real or fake whenever circumstances arise cuz its ALL FAKE. the only existing thing is me. even when i think about “me” its not even “me” doing it. its the ego. the ego answers the question of who you are while you as CONSCIOUSNESS know what you are. the ego cant really grasp this so i don’t see a reason in trying to make it

i picture it as inner child = ego “grown up” = consciousness. the inner child is scared and confused. just wants to be safe and do any and everything to be safe, even if they think they know what theyre doing or that theyre in control. its not. its fake. be the adult in the situation and take control. understanding the ego is probably throwing a temper tantrum so let it cry itself to sleep. everything they thought that was soooo important they’ll forget when they wake up. so its not real anyway. you can relax you got this <3

[fetishflags]

hii its kiruliom. sorry Id dm you directly but you have your dms off.

I did apologize in a rb but Ill say it here too, sorry about accusing you, Im just sensitive to this stuff due to past experiences but that isnt an excuse. the they prns thing was to somewhat preserve your anonymity, not as misgendering, sorry if it came off that way.

you said "they werent even that similar", but the only difference is stripe count. everything else, the size of the circle, the amount of bend on the stripes, the angle of the stripes and the amount they take up on the screen is the exact same, and that just cant be done on accident. (I did overlay the flags to compare)

I dont doubt you probably found a template online, but that doesnt mean it still isnt theft. I just dont blame you anymore.

the palettegender template was done specifically like that to provide a unique and reconizable shape, since due to its nature it cant really have any signature colors or symbols like xenogenders or idk the non-binary flag, which is how I realized I made the template in the first place.

that being said, I really appreciate you changing the template, even if we have different ideals, thank you. I hope I didnt ruin your day and I hope the rest of it goes well for you.

it good ! when said "not even that similar" was bit hyperbole when say but was more confusion because found original template on your blog and not looked like one was using and was more just confused n taken off guard than like ,, upset . again really not mean upset anyone nor even really thought this acc would get big enough anyone be able recognize template used as just wanted make self indulgent flags haha

kitty really dislike they/them use for me as have been maliciously degendered lot so am kinda sensitive abt it but shouldn't have implied it was intentional even if was upset very sorry abt that /gen

hope you do good n nobody mad at you either !! was just misunderstanding n all fix now ! :Dc

[kylejsugarman]

do au squared jesse's feelings of inadequacy or self hatred mean he ever neglects baby, physically or emotionally?

yeah :( i know im number one conflict avoider but giving a 24 year old drug addict who experiences The horrors a literal infant to take care of is not going to go perfectly. he makes a lot of mistakes early on due to ignorance and sometimes due to being high or just not paying the right attention, but thats part of the learning curve and theyre more like direct concrete mistakes that he can be like "oh shit" and try to fix. as the show goes on and things just continually Get So Much Worse though, jesse understandably feels Tormented and like hes the source of the evil thats slowly poisoning his life and that really exacerbates his ongoing inner conflict of "wanting to be the sole provider for baby and not trusting anyone else to take care of her, but also feeling disgustingly inadequate and like his poison is eventually going to destroy baby too". when hes in his really low pizza sonic crackhouse place, he struggles the most with this conflict and does emotionally neglect baby because he Thinks this is the correct course of action. he's a murderer and the bad guy and baby shouldn't even be close to him. he leaves her with demi whenever he possibly can and is distant and sad when she's around, feeling even worse every time he looks at her. obviously, baby doesnt understand wtf his damage is and gets upset as they spend more time apart both physically and emotionally, which just reinforces his notion that he's bad for her.

jesse's on the verge of straight up handing over baby to demi despite the absolute agony that would cause him when a night comes that throws everything back into perspective for him. it's shortly after the "gus decides to invest in jesse and keep him from killing himself" arc begins where the Party is beginning to wind down, but theres still some people around and hes still using intermittently. hes coming down from a high downstairs when he hears baby crying upstairs in her room, which he always keeps closed and locked with one of those child proof (and meth head proof) locks so no "guests" can never enter her room. her crying doesnt just trigger that parent, "let me go see what they need" reflex: it Hurts him. terrified that someone got in and is hurting her, he hurries up the stairs and fumbles with the lock for a long moment before finally managing to let himself in. there's no one else there, thank god, just baby wailing in her crib. he picks her up, automatically checking to see if she's wet (nope), then notices that she feels a little warm. he knows by now that babies get sick all the time—"u look away for five minutes and they'll start running a fever," mike will say to him later on during a drop—but that realization still feels awful. jesse's about to have the "i did this and baby needs to be away from me" thought and call demi when baby makes her grabby hands. desperate for a hold. desperate for Him. he obliges, holding her close and feeling her little body wiggle around to eliminate any possible space between them. she wants him. in spite of Everything, she wants him specifically. he ends up sitting there in her room for a long while, just cuddling her as she cries and eventually calms down and nuzzles his neck even though his scruff is probably all scratchy. there's stuff to do (the baby thermometer is downstairs and he should still have some infant tylenol around), but he just sits and cuddles her first. baby still loves him. he hasn't poisoned her and the distance has just been hurting the both of them instead of protecting her. he loves his baby so, so much and he promises her in his head that he's going to be better for both of them. they both deserve it.

[cabin10diaries]

so anyway. burnt out by leanna firestone is so leo in caleo

longer fun silly lyric analysis below cut <3

* just for fun + lots of personal interpretations

- i want to start this by saying i personally do not think calypso is unlovable. thats just the song. i believe that her habit of flaking on leo is due to abandonment issues (’leave before they can’ sort of situation), her berating him is just needing to be a better person.

"I've never felt this warm as I did / When you touched me, gave me / Goosebumps from head to toe"

so this is when leo and calypso meet. leos never felt any romantic love, whether it was forced or not. hell he's barely felt Any sort of love. he was loved by piper and jason, but it always felt like he was the extra, so it never felt right. unlike when he meets calypso, who can focus all her love on him whether she wants to or not. and when leo realizes shes fallen in love with him, the first one to Ever, he feels like he's never felt before. loved

"But a love made of matches / Was destined to burn out / And end up in ashes and smoke"

'matches' meaning forced/fake - the curse on calypso's island played with her feelings. she accidentally fell in love out of convenience. they cant last bc neither planned to be in this relationship, neither discussed what they want out of life, and because of their differing wants, they cant last.

"Still ambers remained / And I tried to re-ignite them / Ended up playing with fire again / You pushed me away / And I fought and I stayed"

calypso constantly flakes out on leo. she wants a life outside of him, but he so desperately wants to stay in hers. he keeps trying to be in her life, but she doesnt let him

"But maybe I should have listened / Because you're right, I couldn't fix you / You're right, I shouldn't have tried to"

'fix you' is so leo. he is a mechanic at heart. the way he understands people is thinking about them in more mechanical terms, and calypsos 'broken', so he wants to be the hero and 'fix' her by showing her the love that always left her. calypso doesnt want to love leo, or for him to love you. you see that as she constantly berates and leaves him, over and over and over. and leo finally realizes shes right, he should just stop. hes tired, burnt out

"Your pride, is what you're concerned about? / Is "you're right" really all you wanna hear right now?"

personal calypso interpretation, but she hasnt been faced by any opposition for years. she literally only talked to a guy every few centuries. shes a little stuck up, although not on purpose. she thinks shes more right than currently alive mortals simply because shes been alive longer ('older = wiser') even if she hasnt contacted civilizations in years

"Well, you're right, I should've walked away faster / I should've known / You'd only break my heart after I was already in love / You're right, you aren't good enough"

leo stayed with calypso for far too long, after she started taking every chance she could to insult and avoid him. and hes too tired to be kind; calypso was right. she isnt good enough to love, just like odysseus and percy made her think. leos hopping on the bandwagon of her past lovers, making calypsos worst dream come true. she truly is unloveable (of course, she isnt, but thats what the song interpretation is making it out to be)

"I kissed your scars even after you hurt me / And I held your hand even when you fucking burned me"

even after calypso insults leo, berates him, leaves him, he still loved her. he still make time for her and found ways to show her his love. she never did the same. she cut him out of her life as best she could. leo kept her in his, trying to show that he still loved her, and always would, no matter what she did to him

"Do you know how embarrassing that was? / To stay with sombody who hates you because / You hope things get better / You hope that love can / Turn a monster into a man / But it doesn't and it won't / Because you're beyond repair"

leos done with calypso. he loved her, and all he got was disdain in return. ‘beyond repair’ - another mechanic leo thing. he treats people like cars, like inventions, thats how he understands them, and he’s starting to think calypso’s too broken. she cant be fixed.

“But there are still someone for me somewhere / Who will treat me so nice, you'll wish that you did / For someone so smart, you're so fucking stupid / To think that I'm really that dumb / I love you, but I'm done / Pretending this was gonna work / Pretending loving you didn't hurt / Pretending that it doesn't burn / When you think you're always right”

he still loves calypso. no longer romantically (if he ever did love her romantically) but he cant put up with the lack of love or even acknowledgement from her. hes confident enough now (bc of the love from jo, emmie, etc waystation) to know SOMEONE will love him. he will be loved someday. its just that the someday isnt today, and the someone isnt calypso.

“'Cause you're still stuck on your past / You hate 'em so much but / You're just like your dad”

atlas left her. he never went to calypso’s island for her. neither did percy, or odysseus. they all abandoned her. and what was she doing now? abandoning leo, just like atlas, like percy, like odysseus. shes copying their habits, and shes just like them

“You smothered every right that I've ever had / By holding on too tight / And it's suffocating / And I'm longing to breathe again / And in the middle of it all / I ended up losing who I am”

while calypso was barely around, the mental hold she had on leo was there daily for him. her comments- insults- roamed in his head. he barely knew who he was without calypso anymore, because he based himself and his self-worth on her.

“And I know that you tried / Gave it all that you had / And being a monster / Doesn't necessarily make you bad”

maybe this is leo trying to reassure himself, maybe it’s the truth. maybe calypso did try as hard, maybe she didnt. but leo knows that, regardless, this relationship doesnt make up who she is as a person. she is still someone outside of how she treated leo. even if she doesnt know who she is, either, leo knows she isnt defined by the actions towards him

“But even if we could stable it back together now / We both know that you can't / Light a fire that's already burnt out”

they can be friends. they can be family. leo would even settle for acquaintances. but both know they cant be in love again, if they ever once were

[genericpuff]

To me the problem with lore olympus and rachel is that she keeps the fan feedback too close to her chest, yes it does "affect her because she's very sensitive" which is smth rachel has said before in interviews and stuff, but the problem is that if u let fan opinions get in the way of ur work maybe u should set boundaries with the way u interact with fan content OF UR OWN WORK.

Im not sure if im explaining myself correctly, but the way rachel somehow always tries to prove criticism wrong and has slowly started ignoring the foundations she previously set is making everything just so flat and boring. She doesnt work with what we've already read but trying to somehow "fix" things that are sometimes not clear on the get go.

For example, u (and a lot of people) complained about how demeter explicitly said she always put persephone in white (when persephone has willingly been wearing that color through the entire series). Meanwhile, i remember having read a post from loreolympians on instagram (iirc) analyzing perse's change of color scheme during s2.

The problem with these things is that rachel has most likely been engaging with these fans who take for granted that she plans everything out or that everything has a deep meaning (which to a sense you should do, because having faith in the author is usually how to go about analyzing storytelling), and somehow it's become a strange echochamber and it results in these weird, very blatantly written to be noticed, details or moments htat try to be smart but are just flat bc rachel doesnt give any effort to anything else aand prefers telling rather than showing so she can feel like a good author when fans obviously point these out

Jdhdjd these are just my two cents and sorry for the long rant but yeah basically rachel should separate herself from the fandom and try to write more objectively and focusing on the narrative instead of taking every little criticism of her comic so personally

Honestly, I can get being a little squeamish around criticism, shit I've had analysis stuff on my work that's consisted of praise and it's still sometimes a little overwhelming to read (I've got a big one in my asks right now that took me like 10 minutes to get thru because I had to keep taking breathers and I still need to actually share it LMAO it's not even criticism! it's just got so much in it, ahfdsaklg)

When it comes to criticism, I still get a little "aw man" sometimes. I recently got feedback from Pyrrhic & Victoria on my Reaper redraws and even though I'm pals with them and know they aren't gonna be harsh, it's still an incredibly vulnerable position to put oneself in. Especially when it's projects that you hold very close to your sense of self.

RS has definitely taken it a little too far in tying LO to herself as a person. Criticism of the comic = criticism of her , and her fanbase seems to view this the same way, that if someone doesn't like the comic, that has to automatically say something about them as consumers when... it really doesn't. If anything their reactions to criticism say way more about them as people than the criticism existing lmao

What's more upsetting and simultaneously eye-rolling is the fact that Rachel goes out of her way to look for things to be upset about. On multiple occasions now over the past 4-5 years, she's snuck into groups containing criticism, attempted to strongarm power away from moderators so she could have criticism removed, and basically just ruined her own day over other people's opinions whether or not they were meant to be read by her.

It's why I stand by the fact that people shouldn't be directly messaging RS with criticism or hate because that would just be unsolicited cruelty. While she should be more open to criticism, that doesn't mean she needs to open the floodgates on her DM's because there are plenty of places for criticism to exist outside of her peripheral. But she keeps turning her head to look at it. Like, she'll throw a hissy fit over criticism that wasn't even really directly aimed at her, just meant for the sake of discussion. And that's where I'd really honestly wish she could just get a grip.

Like, I'm sure there's criticism of Rekindled out there already. Shit, I've had other projects from yeeears ago that ended up being made fun of outside of where I posted it. It sucked, but going out and actively looking for it for the purpose of erasing it from existence wasn't going to make me a better creator nor was it going to benefit me as a person.

It's a shitty reality, but the bigger you grow as a creator, the more you will have to separate yourself from your audience. You don't have to stonewall them completely, many people follow these works for the creators themselves, but you're not entitled to everyone's friendship and praise, and if the criticism really bugs you that much, then fucking work on the thing they're criticizing, don't double down on it or try to control how your audience consumes your content.

It's why it drives me so nuts when RS does infiltrate these groups because it's an incredible invasion of privacy as well as the creator-reader relationship. Q&A's, panels, and personal socials are where you go to interact with the creator. A creator sneaking into a Discord group or subreddit or FB group with the intent of "listening in" would be equivalent to J.K. Rowling showing up in person to a book club meeting. It's just disrespectful to your audience and makes you look like a huge asshole. Have some grace and for once, I'll tell Rachel and her fanbase to take their own advice - if you don't like it, don't read it.