#don’t let a 39 year old take that away from you.

[bigothteddies]

oh and btw, that 39 year old telling you how mature you are for your age is a manipulation tactic. It’s not a compliment.

[akiranzee]

🌑 • ° ` — “UNDER THE BLUE MOONLIGHT”

-> PAIRINGS: Gojo Satoru × f!Y/N -> SUMMARY: Gojo Satoru, a teacher who sees someone beautiful just like any goddess at a bakery, sees them again by the seashore. Will this 2nd encounter of theirs lead to something more? -> WORD COUNT: 2.8k+ -> CONTAINS: only fluff, gojo is being soft, name calling (e.g princess, honey, etc...), & reader is 28 while Gojo is 30. -> A/N: if u guys don’t know, “the moon is beautiful” means “i love you” :)).

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------------Complete!------------

It is now 11:21PM, and you still can’t sleep. Only 39 minutes left until midnight. So you decide to get up and go outside for fresh air, heading to the ocean just a kilometer away from your house.

It was a fresh, and quiet walk. No disturbances, no other sounds can be heard other than your own footsteps. The air was refreshing, giving you chills even if you’re wearing your favorite hoodie.

You sigh in relief, sitting down the smooth sand, letting the air fly through your face. It was all quiet and warm, until a certain someone disturbed your silence.

“Oh, there’s a human here too, huh? Good to know.” You heard a medium deep voice just behind you, looking up to see a man staring down at you with his blue ocean-like eyes.

You stared into his eyes in silent, waiting for those eyes to blink. It was warm, but now that this guy is here, the atmosphere turned cold and awkward.

Those blue ocean-like eyes that have been staring down at you for a good 5-7 minutes has now turned it’s gaze somewhere else, shining more and more.

“Oh look, the moonlight’s quite pretty this time, huh?” He said cheerfully, looking at it with delight and calm in his eyes. You looked at it too.

“You’ve been here before?” You asked, still staring at the moon, it’s light looks like a spotlight just shining for the two of you.

“Yeah. Like every single day for a good old 3 years. I hardly sleep.” He says it with a small chuckle, making you look up at his adoring smile.

“You?” He asks, now looking back at you. But this time, he decides to sit down beside you, only 3 inches away from you.

“Just moved here last week.” You say, feeling embarrassed over the realization that you have been staring at his eyes for quite too long.

“It’s fine, I get that a lot.” He says that with a chuckle, now lasting long than the first and short one.

“Especially when you have been staring at them the first second I came here.” He says, his eyes now looking deep into yours.

“I’m sorry. They were just so beautiful..” You blurted out, feeling the warmth in your cheeks growing warmer by the second.

“Hmm, which is more beautiful, the moonlight, or my eyes?” The man asks, putting a finger under his chin as if to pretend he was thinking.

“They both look the same. Cold, but beautiful.” You reply truthfully, slowly falling into a trance, staring yet again into his handsome blue ocean-like eyes.

“Haha, you’re funny! I like you.” He says, but only whispered the 3 last words, yet you still heard it. You payed no attention to it though, only to his eyes.

“Hey, think we can exchange numbers?” He says, poking your cheek, now pulling you back to reality.

“...Sure.” You said, taking his phone from his hand, typing in your phone number.

“Pfft, I’ll be sure to text you every day.” He says, now standing up.

“It’s almost 12:00AM. I gotta go try and sleep, see you tomorrow!” He waves you goodbye, now running off. You hadn’t realized it yet, but you have been staring for quite too long at the direction he ran off to, never getting the chance to return his goodbye.

“See you tomorrow..” You mumble, clutching your hands together, heart beating fast.

You’re now walking home, thinking back of your past experiences with this thing called ‘love’. It never worked out with you though. You’ve gone on multiple blind dates and yet, no one can ever make you feel this way, the way you were feeling with the man just a while ago.

You don’t notice, but you’re already near your home, mind roaming somewhere else. Or perhaps a certain someone.

What was his name? How old was he? What was his job? Which street did he live in? Did he say anything about himself? Did he say anything about me? Thoughts like that running through your head right now.

You’ve now reached your home, flopping to your bed. You can’t forget the blue ocean-like eyes you’ve seen just a few minutes ago. Those eyes that have been staring to yours deeply and intently.

You start to feel sleepy, rubbing your eyes, until you received a text message from a certain someone.

+81-****-****: Yo! Me: Who’s this? +81-****-****: It’s me, the guy whose eyes you were staring at on the beach! Me: Oh.. What’s ur name? +81-****-****: I’m Gojo Satoru! What about u? Me: Y/N L/N +81-****-****: Wooww~~ That fits well for a pretty lady like u! Me: Don’t flatter me. What do u need? +81-****-****: Hehe, glad to know I flattered you! Anw, I’m just rlly bored so I was thinking.. Me: ...u were thinking...? +81-****-****: why don’t we meet up tmr, but earlier, maybe 7pm, on the beach, same spot Me: That sounds nice +81-****-****: Ikr! See you there!!~💓

“Gojo Satoru...” You mumble, dropping your phone to your side facepalming with the way you feel your cheeks burn.

You then remembered that you should change his contact name so that you won't be confused the next time.

“Hmm..” You let out a noise, so deep in thought, not knowing what to call him.

“I’ll just call him Gojo...” You muttered under your breath, typing down his name, unconsciously adding a heart next to it.

You feel the sleep consume you in, so you decide to close your eyes, and wait whatever happens next or first thing you wake up.

~~~~~

It’s 10:00AM but who cares? It’s a Saturday anyway. You wanted to sleep more, but a notification disrupts it.

Gojo❤: Heyy, hope ur awake! Wanna grab lunch tgt? Me: Nty I wanna sleep again Gojo❤: Aww~ someone couldn’t sleep thinking abt me! Me: no I wasn’t, besides, it was already 12am when I came back home.. Gojo❤: oh yh, last night. I kept thinking abt that too. Think we can do that again? Me: ...it’s not impossible Gojo❤: I’ll take that as a yes! See u later 7pm ok? Can’t wait!

Your heart beats faster, thinking that this might be it. He might be the one. The one person that would never hurt you. That would only love you more than you’ve ever loved someone.

And with your heart beating this fast, you find it impossible to go back to sleep now.

You change your clothes, hurrying and excited to go out of your home, and meet the one and only Gojo Satoru waiting at your doorstep.

It was only for the last 10 minutes that you texted him you’d accept his lunch proposal with your address, and now, he replied back, saying he’s outside your doorstep.

“Well, that took long. Did you get all dolled up for me?” He says as soon as you stepped out of your house.

“How’d you get here for just 10 minutes?” You ask, putting on your sandals.

“I just live 5 streets away. Plus, I couldn’t wait to eat out with you, you know?” He says smiling, leaning his head closer to yours, pulling your chin up to look at his blue ocean-like eyes covered in black circular sunglasses with his finger.

“T-Then what are you waiting for... Let's go.” You replied stuttering, hesitating to look away from those blue ocean-like eyes.

“Sure thing, princess.” He winks at you, opening his car door for you to get in the passenger’s front seat like any other gentlemen would do.

You hop on, as he gets on his seat too, and starts driving. You roll your window down, air coming inside the car as you let your face out, smiling at how the cold breeze hits your face.

“Love the air, huh? We didn’t even introduce ourselves properly and yet here we are, going out on a lunch date.” He says, chuckling.

“...L-Lunch date?” You question, slowly becoming a blushing mess.

“Wha- Oh my god please don’t tell me you actually think I’m being friendly here? No. Of course I’m not. As hilarious as this may sound, I’m taking you out on a date and I don’t care if all I know about you is your name.” He says, rambling true words out, not realizing that he’s now turned you into a blushing mess.

“W-W-Wha-” You couldn’t find the right words to say, you never could. The words that just came out of the man’s mouth may be informal and not gentleman-like to ask someone out, but no one, not even your exes has ever made you feel this way just by simple words.

“Haa... Let's just talk about this once we reach the restaurant..” Gojo says, sighing as if he’s disappointed that you’re so oblivious over the obvious fact that he likes you.

An hour has passed by, since this so-called restaurant is so far away, and you’ve now arrived in this fancy expensive looking restaurant, that actually made you stop in your tracks and look above to see it’s mesmerizing 20+ floors.

“Pretty I know. That’s why I’m taking you here to have a good time so stop wandering and let's go inside.” He says, now reaching for your hand and intertwine it with his own, going inside the restaurant hand by hand.

He reaches out a seat and pulls it out, guiding you to sit on it as you stare at him sitting on his own too.

Not even a minute after you’ve sat, a waiter already goes and gives you a menu to start looking at the foods you fancy.

But instead of you looking for foods to eat, you stare at the price of each food, and all of them literally cost $100+.

“U-Um.. I’m too broke for this...” You said, looking at Gojo who you see that have been staring at you for quite a while.

“Who says you’re paying?” The grin that he was wearing a while ago only grew wider as he sees your eyes widen.

“Y-You’ll pay? But all of this... are so expensive...” You say, pointing at the menu.

“Oh honey, you don’t know my job yet, do you? Well, I’ll tell you. I’m a teacher. But not just any ordinary teacher, I teach kids with... Hmm, let’s just say with abilities.” He says, pointing at the menu too as to say that ‘my salary can afford the whole menu’.

You were about to reply back, when the waiter interrupts and take your menus and orders.

You ordered (your favorite lunch food), while Gojo ordered a steak with pasta.

The both of you enjoyed your meals, that you have forgotten to question what did he mean with ‘abilities’. The both of you talked about random things, like what are your hobbies, what are you favorites, what do you do in your break time, and etc...

The both of you doesn't realize it yet, but you both have gotten closer and spent literally 2 hours in the restaurant, ordering multiple varieties of foods.

You check on your phone, and saw that it was already 2:00PM and you still had some assignments to finish. Gojo volunteered to drive you home, and so he did. But the twist was, he stayed inside your house until it was 7PM, his reason being ‘I'm bored’.

~~~~~

You both unfortunately fell asleep, so the plan of going to the beach on 7PM didn't work out.

“Well damn, guess the foods drained both of our energy instead. Oh well, let's just do this another time then, huh?” He says, stretching the sleep off of his limbs and headed for the door. But before he left, he looked back at you and winked.

You saw that of course, heart beating so fast, cheeks so hot, body trembling. You knew you were falling in love with him. Falling really hard.

~~~~~

Months has passed, and the both of you got busier and busier, since it's now the turn of summer to come by. You don't know what made him busier in summer, but you know why you're so busy, just by looking at the crowd in front of you, lining up to buy some bread.

You sigh tiredly, forcing the sleep out of your eyes or else your boss will scold at you for getting a latte order wrong.

These past few months, your busy life was starting to get worse and worse, your headaches have been frequent, and your coughs have gotten worse.

You might actually think you're dying at this point.

But one day, as soon as you've closed the bakery, you spotted a certain white head in front of the bakery.

“Yo! Been busy?” He asked, walking towards you and taking your bag out of your hands, leading you to his new expensive shiny car.

You were quite dazed at his sudden new appearance, that looks more like a uniform, with his black blindfold on too, and not his usual black circular sunglases.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, getting comfortable on the front seat and waiting for him to sit comfortably on his seat too.

“Nothing, just missed you, you know? I know we've been chatting and calling each other every day, but still, it feels different when you're right here beside me.” He says, starting the engine and drive.

“Well, can't blame you, we both have been busy with our personal lives anyway.” You said, looking out at your side of the window. You didn't even bother to ask how he can drive or see the road with a blindfold on, you just know and trust that he's gonna bring you back home safely.

“Still, I still miss you.” He replies, and you can feel him pouting without even looking at him.

“Pfft, stop saying it like we're lovers or something.” You chuckled, trying to force these butterflies in your stomach out.

“What if I do want us to be one?” He asks, and both of you fell silent all throughout the ride. You didn't know what to say, more so what to react. You're feeling mixed feelings right now, feelings that you can never interpret.

You don't realize it, but he brought you somewhere else other than your house, since that's where you're thinking he's gonna drop you off.

He brought the both of you back to the beach, to where you both first met each other.

“Why bring me here?” You ask, looking up at him curiously.

“I wanted to tell you a story I heard from one of my students.” He said, taking off his blindfold, blue eyes sparkling under the moonlight.

“...What was the story?” You ask, forcing yourself to look away from those eyes again, sitting down as you feel that this story will take long. Gojo does sit down too, 3 inches away from you again.

“The story started off with a woman who went to the beach, sitting down on the sand, to clear out her thoughts, and just to relax. She sang a beautiful song, just like of a siren's, but with kind intentions. Just then, the man behind her whispered under his breath, ‘she looks beautiful’. But the woman heard his whisper, looking up behind her, whispering a ‘thank you’ to the man, whilst the moonlight's color change into blue. The blue color was beautiful, as it matched the ocean, the clothes, and the eyes of the woman. The man had never seen someone just as beautiful as a goddess, dazed at the mesmerizing scene in front of him. He realize that this certain woman was the same woman he saw at a bakery, the same woman that looked up at him with those adoring eyes. And so, the night goes on, with the both of them staring up at the moon, while the woman's head laid down on the man's left shoulder.” Gojo ended the short story, but you believe that there was more to it than just that.

“What was the title of the story?” You asked, not realizing you have been doing the same, laying your head on Gojo's left shoulder.

You also realize that the ‘story his students told him’ resembles the both of you a lot. Reminding you of your encounter of a certain white haired man with black circular sunglasses back at the bakery you worked at.

“Under the blue moonlight.” He answered, whispering and smiling oh so softly, with his eyes looking at you with full adoration. You stared deep into his eyes, realizing that it slowly resembles a blue moonlight.

The both of you stared at each other for a while, but it soon ended as Gojo looked up and asked,

“The moon is beautiful, isn't it?” Your eyes widen, face blushing.

“I-It is.” You answered, his smile growing wide while intertwining both your hands together.

[best-queen-song]

Okay Queenies! All 88 91 polls are up now! They're each open for one week, so by this time next Sunday (3/3) Monday (3/4), they will all be closed. Here's the list of all Round One polls. Now's the time to spread the word, scatter them to the tumblr winds. Feel free to argue your choices' cases in the meantime!

Great King Rat / It’s A Beautiful Day (Reprise)

Crash Dive On Mingo City / Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon

Who Wants To Live Forever / Let Me Live

Stone Cold Crazy / Fight From The Inside

Escape From The Swamp / In The Lap Of The Gods

My Life Has Been Saved / I Want To Break Free

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy / Hang On In There

We Are The Champions / Friends Will Be Friends

I Was Born To Love You / Cool Cat

Princes Of The Universe / The Night Comes Down

The Ring (Hypnotic Seduction of Dale) / Don’t Try Suicide

Arboria (Planet Of The Tree Men) / Brighton Rock

Keep Passing The Open Windows / The Invisible Man

Under Pressure / Calling All Girls

Crazy Little Thing Called Love / The March Of The Black Queen

Dreamer’s Ball / Tenement Funster

You’re My Best Friend / Flash To The Rescue

Don’t Lose Your Head / Seven Seas Of Rhye

I’m Going Slightly Mad / Get Down, Make Love

In The Lap Of The Gods… Revisited / Spread Your Wings

Funny How Love Is / Fun It

Misfire / All God’s People

Action This Day / These Are The Days Of Our Lives

Sheer Heart Attack / God Save The Queen

The Hero / Body Language

Ride The Wild Wind / In The Space Capsule (The Love Theme)

Made In Heaven / The Loser In The End

‘39 / Modern Times Rock ‘N Roll

Sweet Lady / One Year Of Love

I Can’t Live With You / Leaving Home Ain’t Easy

Need Your Loving Tonight / Delilah

Pain Is So Close To Pleasure / Las Palabras De Amor (The Words Of Love)

Jesus / Chinese Torture

Football Fight / Save Me

In The Death Cell (Love Theme Reprise) / The Kiss (Aura Resurrects Flash)

One Vision / The Miracle

Father To Son / Don’t Try So Hard

Fat Bottomed Girls / Liar

Who Needs You / Marriage Of Dale And Ming (And Flash Approaching)

Khashoggi’s Ship / You Don’t Fool Me

Bicycle Race / Battle Theme

Vultan’s Theme (Attack Of The Hawk Men) / Dear Friends

Tie Your Mother Down / It’s A Hard Life

I Want It All / Flash’s Theme Reprise

White Man / Dancer

Radio Ga Ga / Bijou

Gimme The Prize / Bohemian Rhapsody

Death On Two Legs (Dedicated To…) / Dead On Time

Scandal / I’m In Love With My Car

Back Chat / Tear It Up

Some Day One Day / More Of That Jazz

The Millionaire Waltz / Breakthru

You Take My Breath Away / My Melancholy Blues

All Dead, All Dead / Man On The Prowl

Untitled / Now I’m Here

Jealousy / Flash’s Theme

Somebody To Love / You And I

Sleeping On The Sidewalk / It’s A Beautiful Day

The Hitman / Execution Of Flash

We Will Rock You / In Only Seven Days

Another One Bites The Dust / Staying Power

Too Much Love Will Kill You / My Fairy King

Is This The World We Created…? / Don’t Stop Me Now

Seaside Rendezvous / Machines (or ‘Back To Humans’)

Sail Away Sweet Sister / Keep yourself alive

No One But You (Only The Good Die Young) / Teo Toriatte (Let Us Cling Together)

Love Of My Life / A Kind Of Magic

Party / Headlong

Rain Must Fall / Mustapha

Ogre Battle / I Go Crazy

Mother Love / Doing Alright

Put Out The Fire / The Fairy Feller’s Master-Stroke

Nevermore / Lily Of The Valley

Procession / White Queen (As It Began)

Hammer To Fall / Seven Seas Of Rhye [unfinished]

Bring Back That Leroy Brown / The Wedding March

Was It All Worth It / Killer Queen

It’s Late / If You Can’t Beat Them

Flick Of The Wrist / Play The Game

Rock It (Prime Jive) / Innuendo

Thank God It’s Christmas / The Prophet’s Song

Long Away / My Baby Does Me

Coming Soon / Son And Daughter

A Winter’s Tale / Heaven For Everyone

The Show Must Go On / Ming’s Theme (In The Court Of Ming The Merciless)

Life Is Real (Song For Lennon) / Drowse

Dragon Attack / Let Me Entertain You

Good Company / She Makes Me (Stormtrooper In Stilettos)

Mad The Swine / Soul Brother

Hijack My Heart / A Human Body

Lost Opportunity / Stealin'

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Okay no joke if I was Yves I’d be mad as hell too, like you chose this sloppy, forgetful man over HIM??? the same man that literally has your genetic sequence down to the allele by heart?? Knows all of your genetic information so well that it would put 23 and me to shame!! Not only that but like I think there was an ask about how an anon believes that Monty would’ve honestly attached himself to anyone who was just there at the right time meanwhile Yves’ love for his darling is entirely unique and under any circumstances he never feel this way for anyone else. Like UGH with Yves it’s literally all or nothing, if it’s no you, he doesn’t want it. But with Montgomery, if another person showed up he would’ve been acting the same with that person and not you!! Like his love isn’t “unique” I guess in a way.

Ooo I’d be so upset too. I wonder like has he ever at least THOUGHT about trying to do some technological fuckery to end the relationship between his darling and Montgomery? Like perhaps, doctor some text messages, do voice impersonations or create a voice impersonator so that he could make it seem like Monty was cheating on his darling, causing her to run into his arms. It would b EUREKA 💡 as f because he wouldn’t have to kill Monty bc he actually didn’t do it, and she’s no long with him. But RATS he probably wouldn’t want to bring that sort of pain onto his darling especially with the harsh feeling of betrayal, that can mentally scar someone for years, a feeling that Yves probably is quite familiar with :(.

Buttt at the same time we do have instances (such as if the reader was really old or suffering from terminal health issues) where he would lean more towards being selfish as long as you stay with him, so in certain circumstances he is selfish enough to let you go through pain as long as you’re with him. But dang now that I’m typing this, I’m like that’s probably not that good of a comparison, one’s a relationship and the other is your life.

Also he probably wouldn’t want to take away any of his darlings happiness either, but dang like what if it was something more subliminal maybe like you unconsciously hearing subliminal messages telling you to leave Monty and that all you need is Yves because he’s the only one that can make you truly happy Mann I don’t know 😔.

But at the same time I’m ngl!! I can kinda see why some of y’all like Monty. I think it was Chapter 39?? When he busted through the door of the house and essentially mollywhopped everyone. I was like wait,,, why is he kinda,,, I guess like some of the guilt of not being there for the reader coupled with what he heard was just enough to make him snap and go into a rage. And some people are probably more comfortable around someone who’s like Monty as compared to Yves.

But also like really quick! Does Monty have the same level of unconditional love as Yves? Like I think I remember reading somewhere that you could essentially try anything you want and Yves will NOT leave you, like he has permanently cemented himself to your side literally FOREVER like it’s almost cosmic in a way. I wonder if Monty has that same level of patience but in his own way.

Zhats enough of my unintelligible ramblings and questions, your last post really did it 4 me ooo I wanted to bite my phone!! Love your work!!!!!

the other ask in question

Holy fuckin shit anon thank u so much for ur thoughts i would love to hear moar feel free to ramble more in my asks!!1 these are the types of stuff that also keeps me going with my writing

also i got like newest installation where yves interacts with yan older bro

naw YVes wouldnt like paint monty as a cheater because the pain fuckin HURTS man, he would rather be cucked like indefinitely than let you go through the horrors of recovering from such betrayal, plus there is a chance that you get so hurt that you didn't want to be in a relationship anymore or even ASSOCIATED with men anymore, so Yves just shot himself in the foot

He's only selfish when it comes to keeping you with him, so too bad if you are facing horrors of the mind, you are getting revived

Yves is defnitely using the subliminal messages to his advantage. you would probably be all like "ewww" to Monty after the first few days, weeks if you're particularly into sad, dirty men. but true love can really work past that and there really isn't much he could do without devastating you

Oh yeah Monty's love is fr unconditional, if you are abusive to him, he will take it. Altho he would cry in secret, praying to god that you will one day change your ways and stop abusing him, he will never leave even if everyone around him tells him to. He would stay until he's dead or police actually caught you beating him into a pulp, but even then, he would say it was his fault for provoking you -- he would try everything in his power to get you out of trouble.

He isn't like YVes in a sense that he tries to change you, he will just beg pathetically and get fucked over and over without learning his lesson.

If you're dead, he's dead. Simple as. Nothing will get in the way of Monty's quest to be by your side as soon as possible.

thanx 4 reading my stuff anon ur analysis really made my day i love reading yalls thoughts

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 39: A Future: Katsuko is very much off course, but at least she has found some people who can help her out.

Mitsuhide x OC; Hideyoshi x MC (Mai)

All Chapters Archived on Ao3 

Logline - With Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki missing, Mitsuhide and Katsuko reluctantly team up. Disguised as a merchant and his concubine, can they outsmart the man known as the God of Deceit?

The stranger squinted at me through the blizzard and asked again. “Katsuko?”

In this weather, I couldn’t make out the man's features, nor could I tell how tall he was because he was on the horse. His voice was vaguely familiar though. But not familiar enough to be coming from someone who knew my true name. Aki groaned, reminding me that this was no time to play guessing games. I simply indicated my increasingly heavy Aki burden and said, "He's been shot."

My rescuer was enough of a man of action over words to leap off his horse take on part of Aki’s weight. Between the three of us, we managed to get Aki onto the horse. "Can he last long enough to get home?"

Home? Where is home?

Again, I tried to place the man. He was perhaps a few years older than I was, with medium brown hair… and… nope. No idea. Sorry, dude.

"He's a tough old bird." I pitched my voice loud enough for Aki to hear, and received a grumpy, "insubordinate” as a reward.

I let my rescuer lead the horse and simply trudged along beside him. Hopefully, he would not notice I had no idea where we were going,. "It sounds like you know this guy?" There was no small amount of jealousy in his tone of voice.

"Well. He's my father." No reason to keep that a secret.

"Your father?" The man looked at me with a frown. That frown… seemed familiar.

I do know who this is!

Sasuke's travelling merchant friend. Yuki. Yuki who has only seen me disguised as an old man. And while he might possibly have recognized me on the street, he definitely should not have known my real name.

"I didn’t know your father was alive." This was spoken in tones that suggested I would have told him. He sounded hurt that ‘Katsuko’ hadn’t mentioned this man to him.

What the hell is going on here?

"It's a recent development. I just found out myself." I gave Aki a glare. "He's a very shifty old man."

"I heard that." Aki’s response was between a cough and a grumble.

“You were meant to.”

Fortunately there was a posting station near the river a few kilometers from where Yuki had found us. Yuki was able to obtain another horse, in fact it might actually have been one of from his “home” as people who often needed to travel far and fast kept extra mounts at these stations, if they had the means to. I elected to ride with Aki, hoping to avoid revealing to Yuki that I still had no idea where he was going, and figuring I could use the “need to make sure my father stays on the horse” excuse to prevent conversation.

"Home" turned out to be a large low castle/manor hybrid spread out from behind two moats and a long wall. More or less protected, but not super defensible, although the fierce looking warriors at the sentry post were a sort of living wall. It had only been just about over an hour away from the posting station, and the weather had slightly warmed up in the meanwhile.

The snow hadn’t stopped, but the consistency had changed from icy pellets to softer flakes. (I like snow, I do, but not when it’s flung in my face on a constant basis.)

Muramasa had zipped ahead of us, baying happily, and he seemed to be a familiar sight to the guards. So was Yuki, who had been addressed as "Lord Yukimura." Ha! I knew he hadn’t been a traveling merchant. The sentries apparently knew me as well, deferentially calling me, "Lady Katsu."

Huh so this really was 'home'? Am I a year or two in the future? That would explain a lot.

But how was I connected to Yuki…mura?

Please don’t tell me this is my husband.

Not that Yukimura was unattractive. But to go from ‘I thought you were an old man’ to ‘wife,’ would be quite the leap. Not to mention, going from loving Mitsuhide to … marrying this guy. A lot would have needed to have happened.

Just sayin’.

I didn’t think we were married though. Yukimura wasn’t acting like a husband. More like someone who considered me one of his closest friends.

We relinquished our horses at a stable, and Lord Yukimura rushed to help Aki dismount. Aki roused himself enough to protest this, saying, "I will walk on my own." I stuck close to his side, though, just in case, as the three of us made our way into the dwelling.

The servant at the main entry let Lord Yukimura in without comment, then did a double take when he got a look at me. Presumably this was someone whose name I was supposed to know. To cover for the giant gaping hole in my knowledge, I simply gestured to Aki and said, “We need a healer – he’s been shot.”

The servant galloped off with any further questions. This galloping was echoed by smaller gallops and then two small children burst into the room and launched themselves at Yukimura, yelling "Yuki!"

The younger one, a girl of maybe two years, flung herself into Yuki's arms. He used the momentum to swing her into the air. "Miss Mayumi, you're twice as big as the last time I saw you."

Mayumi? This child was named after my mother?

The little boy however, halted at my feet, put his hands on his hips and glared up at me suspiciously. “Are you a Yokoi?"

At this point... anything's possible.

And then the servant returned followed by a tall man who paused, then calmly looked from me to Aki. "Akihira, there are a lot of people looking for you.” Then he smiled down at me. "Hello Katsu. It seems the timeline has run amok again."

Huh? This one knows me too?

"What?" That had been Yuki.

And then a woman, her fingers stained with ink, hurried in from a different direction, and the tall man pulled her to his side. "Devil, here’s another one."

The women finally turned and looked at us, her eyes widening when she saw Aki… and she was...

…me?!

What the hell is going on?

"What the hell is going on?" Yuki was nicely doing the work of broadcasting my inner thoughts.

"What the hell is going?" The little boy echoed Yuki’s statement with a look of utter hero-worship on his face.

Other-me winced. "Hana's going to kill us if we return them with an enhanced vocabulary." Then she bowed to Aki. "Four years. Four years and all we get is one letter?"

Yuki looked from me to other-me. Future me? She did seem slightly older than I. "Katsuko, is this your sister?"

"Not exactly," the tall man stated, but by then, my concern had shifted to Aki, who winced and swayed.

"Dad!" It slipped out. But somewhere along the way I had begun to think of him as my father.

Other-me finally looked surprised. "Dad?"

The tall man nodded. "I... had my suspicions." He pulled her closer, gave her a brief kiss on her forehead, and whispered something in her ear. She closed her eyes and leaned on him. For a moment they were the same kind of bubble I had seen surrounding Mai and Hideyoshi. Them against the world.

Then he turned to nod at some of the servants who had gathered in the hallways, and announced in a loud voice, "Katsuko's sister and father have come to visit. Please prepare rooms for them."

Once they had all scattered, he smiled down at me. "Angel, I'm certain you have many questions, but let’s get your father settled first, then discuss this in a less... public... setting." Then he kissed the other-me. "Apparently, the wormhole is not finished with us yet."

It was substantially more than an hour before we were able to gather in a room not far from where Aki was now uncomfortably resting. A local healer had been dragged in from the storm, only to keel over at the sight of Aki's bloody shoulder.

"I could take the bullet out myself," Aki had glared at the lump of healer on the floor, then passed out too.

The tall man, who I had finally learned was Takeda Shingen had looked over Aki in concern, and said that at the moment, all we could do is let him get some rest and warmth.

"Are you a healer too?" I had heard Yoshimoto praise his cousin as a man with a multitude of skills, but not that medicine was one of them.

"I've had a lot of experience at being ill," was the only explanation he gave.

I hadn’t wanted to leave Aki, but other-me stationed one of the maids in the room and instructed her to call for us if Aki's situation worsened. Now, we were in what looked like Lord Shingen's private office; the desk was stacked with reports and correspondence, and a wall of built in shelves contained an impressive collection of texts on history, philosophy, and political theory.

"If you aren't Katsuko's sister," Yukimura asked me, once we were all gathered around a before-it's time-Kotatsu, "Who are you?"

"Well, I'm Katsuko. Just not that Katsuko. Um. At least, I don’t think I am that one." I sighed. "I've been going by Kaya recently anyway, if it makes it easier."

"Never liked that name." Katsuko gave me a sympathetic look.

"Me either.” Which yeah, of course. She was me. I’ve had a lot of surreal experiences, but this easily topped the list. “I think Mitsuhide made me use it for that reason."

"Mitsuhide!" Even without Yukimura's sputter the name landed like a bomb in the room. Yuki edged away from me. "What were you doing with that snake?"

I didn’t want to discuss that in depth. "Um it’s a long story – he was helping me look for Aki and I was helping him look for Mai and Hideyoshi, but I'm not really sure if that part really relates to how I got here...? Uh what year is it?"

"Fifteen-eighty-six.” Katsuko was the one who answered me. "I take it you got here from 1582."

"Are you a future me?" But that wouldn’t make sense? Or would it? A lot could have happened since 1582. Except if she were future-me, she should have known that I had come here from 1578… and I was already confusing myself with the paradox.

"No. I’m a multiverse version of you. Sasuke uses the term alternate." She turned to Shingen. "We should send for-"

"Already ahead of you, Devil. Though it will take a better part of a week for him to arrive." Shingen retrieved a basket of what looked like chestnut buns from behind his desk, and offered it to me. I nearly took one, until I got a look at a warning head-shake from Katsuko.

"Ha! It's Sasuke. He'll ninja himself here in four days." Yuki pulled the kettle off a brazier which was set cozily in the back of the room, obviously very much at home in his friends' castle.

I was still stuck on the term 'alternate,' trying to piece my way through an explanation of the situation I’d found myself in. "Ok, so this 1586 is not my future, but a different timeline." Aside from Yukimura, everyone else was being awfully calm about this.

Katsuko nodded. "Yep. You're the third version of myself that I've met." She turned and poked Yukimura. "Don't you remember that Sasuke explained it all... with strings, back before we sent Shingen to the future?"

"I remember, but it made as much sense then as it does now." He shrugged. "I just never understood why you would focus on the future when you have to live in today."

"An admirable philosophy, Yuki." Shingen lightly patted his friend's shoulder. "In any case, Katsuko has had experience getting stuck in the wrong timeline, so I surmise that's what has happened to you."

"That would make sense." I gave them a brief explanation of what had happened to me when I realized Aki had disappeared, although I skimmed past the details of the whole Mitsuhide part of it. From the look Lord Shingen gave me, it was clear he knew there was more to it than that, but he let it go.

There was an even longer period of shock and awe when I showed them the odd device that had seemed to activate the time travel without a wormhole (but further discussion of that was tabled – we would wait for Sasuke to arrive). "After Iekane and I went over the castle wall, I landed on a battlefield in 1578, which is where I found Aki. I only knew it was 1578 because I saw Sasuke save Kenshin. That wormhole, Sasuke's wormhole, was still open, so Aki and I went through it, and ended up near the Kawaguchi shrine a few hours ago."

"All this that happened with Yoshiaki, it was already winter... Eleventh month?" At my nod, Shingen continued. "That confirms you are from an alternate timeline rather than the past. At that point in our timeline, Katsu and Yuki were fighting Iekane near Togakushi, and I was already in modern Japan getting treatment." He rubbed his throat, and yeah, now that I knew to look, I could see a surgery scar.

“I'm pretty sure that is where my timeline's version of you is too. Sasuke mentioned that he was going to the future with a sick friend." I supposed that meant that whatever Shingen had had, it was the same illness across all timelines.

Picking up on my train of thought, Katsuko said, "I'm glad, I have to admit, I sometimes worry about the alternate Shingens and whether they are getting treatment." She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Trust Sasuke to find a way to convince me... or Yuki to figure out how to send me there without warning." He smiled down at her, and curled his fingers in her hair.

Awwww. I supposed it was nice to know there was a version of me happily... married? That reminds me…. "The children - the little boy and Mayumi. Are they yours?"

I had never been interested in motherhood. Specifically not the whole giving birth part of it. With my family history, I just didn’t want to put myself on a path of postpartum depression leading to clinical depression. But had other-me gotten past that?

After a moment of silence that was almost awkward, Katsuko shook her head. "Oh gosh, you haven't found Toshiie then. They're his children."

"Toshiie's here? In this house?" I jumped up, ready to run from room to room until I saw him, until Shingen spoke up.

"No, he's in China right now. He and his wife, who is an herbalist, went to research medicine." Almost on cue, Mayumi toddled unto the room and crawled into Shingen's lap. She blinked her eyes at him twice, then dropped off to sleep. He brushed his hand over her hair, then added. "This one is apparently convinced I'm her bed."

Ok, Katsu. Catch up here. "Where did you find him?" I’d just have to retrieve him from wherever once I got back to the right timeline. If… I could figure out how to do that.

“Ikuno.” Yukimura was the one who answered my question.

"He's not there. Not in your original timeline, I mean." The explanation come from Aki, who had apparently had enough of ‘the whole lie down because there’s a bullet in your shoulder thing’ and was gripping the wall to keep himself upright. "Each timeline is different. In some, he made it back to modern Japan. In yours, Katsu," he nodded at me, "I'd had word that he could be in Sakai, but I got waylaid in another timeline before I could check it out."

"You should be lying down." I jumped up to steady him before anyone else could react. His face was grey and sweaty and I could feel heat radiating from his shoulder. The bullet might not kill him, but the infection could.

"Yes. You should. Dad." The inflection in Katsuko's tone was flat. Ok. I was pissed too, but the level of her anger suggested that other things had happened between them that I wasn’t privy to.

Yuki found a low chair with actual back and arm support and slid it into the conversation area, and Aki dropped heavily into it. Whatever strength he'd used to propel himself into the room was now gone.

"Akihira." Shingen addressed him as a peer, not an authority figure. "I understand the concept of multiple timelines. What I don’t understand is why there seem to be many versions of myself, of Katsuko, of Sasuke, and Mai… and only one of you."

"Because I was in a place where time has no meaning when the timeline splintered." He closed his eyes, as if completely spent. My need for answers clashed with a bigger need to keep him alive. I had chosen Aki over Mitsuhide, and if he died after all this it would all be for nothing. Selfish Katsu! It's not all about you! I couldn’t help my thoughts though, even as I felt guilty for thinking them.

"That hidden room in your manor." Shingen nodded. "Kayten told us time had no meaning there."

Hidden room?

Aki managed a brief thumbs up. The modern gesture seemed odd on him. He had blended so well in this era, I had never thought to question him. "I heard you had found it."

"We found it at the same time as Okatsu and Mitsunari came through from their timeline." Katsuko swirled her tea. "I don’t know which of the four of us was the most surprised."

The surreal feeling of displacement returned. Okatsu and Mitsunari?

“Ah. She didn’t see the other two. It’s too bad – it might have saved me a rather large amount of trouble if she had.” He turned to Yukimura. “Would have saved you a few headaches as well.”

I looked around the room to see if anyone else had any clue what he was talking about, but all that I got was universal confusion. As much as I wanted to know what he was talking about, Aki wasn’t looking well. For the last few moments he’d been shaking uncontrollably. "That’s enough. Aki should be lying down.”

"I don���t think that's going to help." Aki put his hand on my head. "As far as I know, there's no treatment here for a septic wound."

@mllorei @bestbryn @selenacosmic @lyds323 @akitsuneswife @tele86

[rom-e-o]

Slow Hands (NSFW Fic) (Part 1)

It’s time for another Scrooge x OC fic! Part 1 of 2, because...this fic is way longer than I thought. I maaaaay be getting carried away.

THIS IS AN 18+ POST AND STORY. Fic is below the cut. Minors, DNI.

Well, let’s begin, shall we? Allons-y!

It started out with a simple, yet far from innocent comment, one morning over breakfast.

“Ebenezer?” Constance asked suddenly, glancing up from the slightly parted pages of a romance novel she held across her lap.

“Hm?” he hummed, eyes scanning the morning newspaper as he lifted a small teacup to his lips and drank softly. “Yes, darling?”

Her manicured fingers stroked the edge of the soft pages nervously, causing them to flutter between her digits with the speed of hummingbird’s wings.

“Um, I wanted to ask you something private,” she said, glancing around the breakfast, “While we’re alone.”

The shift in tone captivated his attention instantly. Teacup still at his lips, his eyes flicked to meet hers, his gaze softening and intensifying in one flicker of movement. She could tell his focus at that moment came from a place of deeper intrigue rather than mundane interest. The secret was in how his dark pupils blew wide, and how the normally steep slope of his brows leveled to something more mellow.

“My, well, don’t keep me in suspense,” he said slowly. The bone china teacup made a delicate clink as he sat it down on an intricate saucer, then gently nudged it out of the way so his hand had the room to reach for its new target.

His large hand curled around hers easily, with no force at all, brought it up to him lips to place a kiss upon. “Tell me.”

She should have been used to the sensation of his lips upon his skin, the trail of heat that even the lightest brush of his welcoming mouth left in its wake. Yet, upon one brush of contact turned her into a giggling mess, as if she was a schoolgirl and not a 39-year-old woman. However, Ebenezer had that effect on her. His charms, gentlemanly nature, and suave demeanor all culminated into a persona that was disarmingly swoon-worthy, and never failed to make her melt into a gooey mess.

“Well…” she began, giggling as she averted her eyes coquettishly. Despite the gesture, she scooted half an inch close to him, just enough for their shoulders to brush. “You know how some of the ladies and I have been talking about our favorite books in book club?”

Ah yes, the book club.

Ethel, Hela, Mrs. Jenkins and some other London ladies adjacent to his social circle had been gathering in his sitting room with Constance a few times a month to discuss the latest and greatest leatherbound volumes that graced the shelves of London bookstore and libraries. Specifically, the group had an affinity for romantic tales. It was common for him to be working in his studies some evenings and here a sudden swelling of cheering or laughter from the sitting room.

He'd shown curiosity, and of course, Constance had been more than willing to share with him the club’s latest novel.

They’d read a few chapters of “The Dowager’s Bodyguard”, a story of s widowed countess who fell in love with one of the guards assigned by her late husband to watch after her, one evening on the chaise together, after all the other household visitors had left for the day. Thankfully, the house was long-vacant by the time Scrooge ended up throwing her over his shoulder and taking her body to the bedroom after a particularly…randy chapter provide lovely inspiration that kept them quite engaged with each other. This interest continued even after sunrise, and left both walking with a lopsided gait for a few hours afterward.

“I’m very aware, and very thankful, of the book club,” he said, eyes falling to half-mast as he peered at her suspiciously. His hand moved up her arm to cup her shoulder, his thumb working in soft circles into her muscles.

“Well,” she started, “We’ve started another lovely novel.”

A knowing spark lit up his steely gaze. “Mmhmm?”

“And, there is this one part…” she continued, growing more emboldened by his very obvious interest.

“Ohhh, is there, now?” he asked teasingly. He pulled a hand back and rubbed his jaw in thought. “You know, I’m having the strangest sense of déjà vu, darling. I have a feeling we’ve had this conversation before.”

They had, in fact. This was far from the first time Constance had shared moments from their latest romance novel readings with him.

These conversations usually shifted quickly from the realm of normal conversation, to flirting, to kissing and moaning, and…so forth.

She knew that he knew this (he was one of the two very active participants, after all) so his playful ignorance could only mean one of a few things.

“Oh, surely you haven’t forgotten,” she teased, batting her eyes in mock embarrassment.

“My...I think I might have,” Scrooge said, the shadow of a smirk flickering across his face before he theatrically whacked his forehead. “Ah, bollocks, what a shame! This craggy old noggin of mine just isn’t as sharp as it used to be.”

Constance rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath, “Oh, I somehow doubt that.”

“Well, my love, there is only one solution to this very pressing conundrum.”

“Ah, is there?” she asked. It was her turn to tease, as she knew her love well, and fully knew what he had in mind. “Well, thank goodness! Please, my love, tell me your revelation.”

The fact that she always played into his flirtatious scenarios never failed to make him blush, even when it was the exact outcome he was hoping for. Constance was quite theatrical, and as such, he had found himself gradually becoming more daring about stretching outside his comfort zone when it came to platonic and romantic banter.

It helped that the payoff for his effort was always splendid.

“Well, let’s start at the beginning,” he said, clapping his hands like a schoolteacher who was about to start a lesson. “First, tell me this part of the book. This segment that requires us to be alone to discuss in proper detail.”

Constance rolled her lips between her teeth, trying to hide her knowing smirk, before clearing her throat and lapsing back into the role of a completely innocent provocateur.

“It requires a bed, dear,” she said.

“My, straight to the point,” he husked playfully. “Tell me more. Spare no details.”

Giggling, she continued, “Well, the heroine is feeling bashful on the couple’s wedding night, as it’s their first time together.”

“Very romantic, but quite traditional.”

“Right – they’re both quite nervous, but especially her,” she said. “So, the main hero sees her tugging at her robs self-consciously, and to make her laugh, he…”

In a moment of not-so-psychic clairvoyance, Constance used both hands to reach for the teacups and silverware still on the small table, and pushed them out of the way to the back corner. Scrooge watched her in amusement, laughing at the completely unsubtle gesture.

Then, his eyes fell upon on the neckline of her nightgown, which had become tugged down during her effort. His chuckle dimmed to an appreciative hum as he took in the sight of her pleasing décolleté and plunging cleavage. While he had normally averted his eyes or paid no mind to such skin being shown (before marriage, the extent of it was ‘ladies of the night’ using their low necklines to beckon him inside to spend a few pounds from his pocket for a few minutes in their beds) Constance had rekindled the red-blooded fascination.

Besides, as indicated by a quick glance in his direction and a lovely smile that made his heart pound more than any level of nudity ever could, she was just as in on the act as he was.

Once done, she plopped back int her seat and sorted herself accordingly.

“Where was I?” she teased. “Ah, yes! So, he swoops her up and carries her to the bed.”

“A, a familiar scenario,” he teased.

“For the books, or us?”

“Both.”

“Hey – I thought you said your memory was bad!”

“Ah, yes. I forgot.”

“Uh-huh. Did you?” she asked with a smirk. The sudden inflection of her New York accent added further sarcasm to her comment, causing the words to come out as, ‘Uh-huh, did-jyah?’

“Besides, beauty as radiant as yours, especially when unclothed, is impossible to forget,” she supplied, lowering his voice to a velvety timbre that never ceased to captivate her. “It would be like trying to forget the radiance of a sunset, or the cleansing glow of fawn.”

Stars above, how he adored when she blushed. The pinkish hue complemented her strawberry-blonde hair and raspberry lips wonderful. It was an arduous endeavor to not lean in and kiss her right then and there.

“You rapscallion!” she giggled.

“Guilty,” he admitted with an easy shrug. “Apologies, my dear. Please, continue.”

“Will you be good?” she asked, sinking her teeth into her plush lower lip.

He answered only with a ravenous smirk, which seemed to be the answer she wanted, as she quickly picked up from where she left off.

“Well, after a little of tender love and care to make sure she is…quite ready for him,” she said, taking yet another cautionary glance over her shoulder to make sure Magda hadn’t snuck back in early from her errands, he continued in a hushed voice, “He tells her to lay on her back. She does, and he leans over her. Slowly, taking his time touching her. Warming her up. The entire time, he stares into his eyes, one hand clutching the headboard tightly.”

At first, he expected to hear more. For her to continue. Yes, she continued to sit and beam at hm, hands innocently placed upon her blushing knees.

“Truly, that’s it?” he asked. The man wasn’t trying to be rude. Actually, he continued to be unfortunately shocked by how bar the men had fallen where women read romance novels to experience something as commonplace (in his mind) as intimate eye contact in the bedroom.

Heavens, he suddenly thought, had he not given her that? Had he left her wanting? The possibility suddenly made him hyper-alert. His whole body perked up at he scanned her face for any traces of… well, anything. Anything that might hint at subtle disdain or unhappiness. Perhaps he was naïve, but he saw nothing.

Realizing he was seeking clarity, Constance smiled warmly at him.

“Oh, my dear, it’s not the intimacy of the eye contact,” she said. “Truly, you never fail to make me feel truly ravished, in every way possible, after our time together.”

“Oh,” he said, letting out a nervous sigh he didn’t realize he’s been holding in. “V-Very good then.”

Her brows arced backward in sympathetic humor. “I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“T-Then, it’s…”

“Holding the headboard,” she finished for him, blushing even as she spoke the words aloud. “Y-Yes.”

By comparison, he looked flabbergasted. “Well, that sounds…quite simple.”

“It does,” she admitted, “Until you picture yourself in the scenario.”

He lifted a thick brow at the admission. Well, that was an interesting tidbit of information. “Oh? Do you often insert yourself into these lovely literary fantasies.”

“I do,” she said. This time, instead of just scooting closer to him, she leaned forward so her face merely had to tilt upward to be within a hair’s breadth of kissing her husband’s lips.

“While we were reading it, I couldn’t stop thinking about the idea…” she teased. “The sight of your lovely, broad-shouldered frame over mine, one hand clutching the headboard to stay steady, because you were fucking me so hard that I could barely catch my breath…”

His heart, and lower anatomy, jerked at the description. “C-Connie…”

“I was so, so wet by the end of the meeting, I almost went right to your office and locked the door,” she said with a laugh. “Ambushed you at your desk, swept all the papers onto the floor, and kissed you silly while undoing those pesky pants of yours.”

He fought the urge to roll his hips at the words alone.

“And, um,” he began, voice starting to strain even more than his trousers, “Why didn’t you?”

“Love, we had guests!” she said, slapping his chest, keeping the width of her palm over his heart. “And they wanted to stay for tea. I couldn’t just kick them out!”

“Hm,” he hummed, not convinced. With one hand rubbing his chin in thought, the other snaked around her body to find purchase on the narrow notch of her waist. “Well, next time, then.”

“Ebenezer!”

“You paint too delicious of a picture for me to resist,” he offered in meager defense.

“Well, would you like to know more details?”

“My dear lady, I do believe I asked you to spare no detail.”

“Ah. Well, then…”

Slowly, she moved from her own seat and into his lap, which he welcomed greatly. Sliding back his chair a few inches from the table to provide her with the proper amount of room, she had no problem finding a comfortable position straddling his hips.

Her nightgown parted easily, riding up her bare thighs, giving him free sovereignty to caress and run his fingers along the supple skin. He took ample advantage of this opportunity, enjoying how bliss flickered across her lovely face with even the gentlest movement.

“While we were having tea afterword, I couldn’t stop fidgeting in my chair, thinking of you,” she confided. She rolled her hips against the top of one of his thighs, seeking friction. “I would feel my cunt twitch every time I moved to the hard edge of the chair.”

“You poor girl,” he husked, grunting at the warmth he could already feel pooling between her legs. The hand that held her waist drifted south, finding the soft dip between her hip and thigh, and held on. “How ever did you survive?”

“Gods, I haven’t a clue,” she laughed, dark lashes sweeping the tops of her cheekbones as they fluttered shut. “I must admit, I was rather poor conversation that evening. I’m sure they all thought I was in a gaze. It was very rude of me.”

“All the more reason to forego tradition and, next time, usher them out,” he said. He gave her a light slap on the bum, which made her yelp.

“You are impossible—woah!”

Her sentence was cut off by Ebenezer lifting her off his lap and into the air. Carrying her bridal style, he whisked her out of the kitchen and through the entry foyer. To not fall, Constance threw her arms around the man’s broad shoulders, squealing with delight as he growled possessively against the delicate flesh of her neck.

With a kick, the door to their shared bedroom flew open, and he deposited her upon the bed with a light throw. Landing right in the center, she bounced up, nightgown riding up and robe sliding open from the motion. Constance threw her head back and laughed radiantly, the sound as beautiful as it was loud. She even snorted at the end, a surefire sign her laughter was as true as gravity in its authenticity.

“So cute,” he teased, and he meant it. Her laugh, snort and all, was like music to his ears.

As she sat up, he propped himself up at the edge, one knee on the bed, and reached down to undo the tie of his robe. The silk material slipped over the tips of his broad shoulders with little resistance, revealing the pale sleepshirt beneath. The linen left very little to the imagination, the soft cloth outlining the pleasant swells of muscle across his chest and arms. Even as a man over 50 years of age, his active routine and desire to always be busy kept him from being sedentary.

The opening at the top of the shirt was a few buttons undone already, revealing the dusting of silvery chest hair she enjoyed burying her face in. Automatically, her hands reached out to lay flat over his pectorals, appreciating the firmness and feeling of them.

“My, you’re already handsy,” he teased, puffing his chest a bit at her touch. The way her eyes roved over him made him feel like he was an eight-course meal, and the passion in that gaze had yet to dull even after multiple couplings.

“Only around incredibly handsome men,” she teased, smirking up at him. “Well, one handsome man. But I’d be even more handsy if these pesky clothes weren’t in the way.”

Her wish was as good as any order. “Say no more.”

(part two coming soon~)

[masochistartt]

i don’t follow football what happened with chelsea?

okay strap in bc this chelsea season has been. definitely. Something!!

let's start with last season as a little catch up. chelsea (one of the 6 biggest clubs in the premier league) finished twelfth on the table (out of 20). it was their first season under new ownership, and they went through four (4) managers in the 38-game season. finishing in twelfth made it the club's lowest season since 1993-94, where they finished 14th. because of their 12th place finish, this (23/24, current season) is the first season since 2016-17 that they didn't compete in europe (champions league, europa league, europa conference league).

so. not a great year for the boys in blue.

this summer. chelsea spent ~£435 million on new players. that's the most a single club has ever spent during a single transfer window in premier league history. these transfers included moises caicedo (a defensive midfielder from brighton for £100 million (plus bonuses)), nicolas jackson (a striker from villarreal for £32 million), christopher nkunku (a striker from rb leipzig for £52 million), and cole palmer (an attacking midfielder from manchester city for £40 million plus bonuses) (more on this later.)

transfers out included césar azpilicueta, a defender who was their captain since 2019 (who lead them to winning the champions league in 2021), mateo kovačić, mason mount, kai havertz, and christian pulisic (all champions league winners, all played in the final in 2021, havertz scoring the only goal in the game)

these new transfers in are all young. of the 12 new signings, two were born in 1997 one was born in 1998 and one was born in 1999, but the rest are 2000s babies (2 in '01, 1 in '02, 4 in '04, and 1 in '05). so there's a severe lack of experience on this team (ben chilwell is 27, raheem sterling is 29, and thiago silva is 39 – 12 of their 29 players are u21). the average age on the team is 23 (their goalies are the oldest at 27 on average, defenders at 24, midfielders at 21, and forwards at 22).

because azpilicueta left the club, you need a new captain. they found theirs in chelsea academy boy reece james, a 24-year-old defender. his vice captains are ben chilwell, the 27-year-old left back signed from leicester city in 2020, conor gallagher, a 24-year-old central midfielder also from chelsea's academy, and thiago silva, the 39-year-old signed from psg in 2020.

and because of the managerial disasters of last season, they need a new manager. they bring on mauricio pochettino, former manager of spurs and psg (where he lead the team to the ligue 1 title).

welcome to chelsea. let's start the season.

their first match was at home against liverpool. liverpool scored first, in the 18th minute, but chelsea tied it up before the half, the first goal from new signee axel disasi. the second half is mostly uneventful, but oops, captain reece james has to be substituted off with a hamstring injury. he is now out until october (it is august).

their next match is away against west ham. ben chilwell takes the captain's armband. it's the 7th minute. west ham scores. chelsea pulls one back in the 28th minute, 1 all. west ham picks up three yellow cards in the first half. in the second half, west ham scores again. then, the hammers go down a man for a second yellow card, chelsea is now playing 11 against 10. they cannot turn it around. not only do they not turn it around, they concede another goal. chelsea loses 3-1. it is week 2 of the premier league season, and chelsea is fifteenth on the table.

they beat newly promoted luton town week 3 and rise to 10th place.

meanwhile, chelsea is competing in the league cup. that's going well so far - a 2-1 win against fourth tier afc wimbledon (phil dunster's team!) in august right after beating luton town - maybe things are turning around! (things are not turning around.)

then they face a loss, a draw, and another loss to nottingham forest, bournemouth, and aston villa (a game in which malo gusto picks up a straight red card and is now unable to play the next few games).

let's... let's check in on the league cup. we need something good for these boys after this hell they've faced in september. they've drawn fellow premiership club brighton & hove albion at home in the third round. they win! 1-0, thanks to a goal in the 50th minute from new signee nicolas jackson. but in the 7th minute of stoppage time at the end of the game, ben chilwell (their captain, with reece james still out injured), is fouled and has to come off with a hamstring injury. but also oops, chelsea's already used all their substitution windows - they have to finish the game with 10 men. luckily, they see it out and move on to the next round.

reece james is still injured. ben chilwell is now injured. conor gallagher, time to step up.

happy october, chelsea. their first two premier league draws of the month are against fulham (who finished 10th on the table in 22/23) and newly promoted burnley. chelsea win both. they are 11th on the table after both results. and! reece james is back! they draw 2-2 at home against arsenal, and rise to 10th on the table. their last match in october is against brentford, who finished 9th on the table last season, and were 13th going into this match. they lose 0-2.

november starts big with a league cup win against championship side blackburn and a 1-4 win at tottenham (all four goals are scored by new signees - a penalty from cole palmer, and a hat trick from nicolas jackson) after the win against tottenham, they are taking slutty, slutty locker room pictures.

let's pause here to talk about fouls, yeah? chelsea has not gone a single game this season without picking up a booking. 1 is the minimum so far, against brentford, 2 against luton, and the rest have had 3+. they have been booked with 35 yellow cards and one red card as of week eleven of the premier league season.

november ends with a draw against manchester city (10th on the table, 22 points, 5 more yellow cards), a loss to newcastle (10th on the table, 22 points, 5 yellow cards & a 6th that becomes a red card for reece james).

december - a win against brighton (10th on the table, 25 points, 4 yellow cards & a 5th that becomes a red card for conor gallagher before halftime) and then two losses in a row (a 2-1 loss at manchester united - chelsea's first league game of the season without a booking. cole palmer scores the only goal - and then a 2-0 loss at everton that drops them to 12th on the table, 2 more bookings. reece james is injured again and has to get surgery for his hamstring). they win against newly promoted, bottom of the table sheffield united (with another booking), and return to tenth on the table.

league cup break! they draw newcastle united 1-1 in the quarterfinals. the game goes to penalties. chelsea wins 4-2 on penalties. four more yellow cards are picked up in this game. chelsea moves on to play middlesbrough in the two-legged semifinals in january. we'll return to this.

back to the prem.

on christmas eve, they play away at wolves and lose 2-1. christopher nkunku scores in the 96th minute. chelsea picks up 6 more yellow cards.

they end 2023 and start 2024 on a three game winning streak (against crystal palace, luton town, and fulham). in these three games, they pick up 3, 2, and 5 yellow cards. after the win against fulham, they raise to 9th on the table, the highest they've been all season.

they lose spectacularly to liverpool to end january, 4-1, picking up 4 yellow cards in the process. this drops them back to 10th on the table.

meanwhile, they've played both legs of that league cup semifinal i mentioned, winning 6-2 on aggregate. chelsea's going to the final! maybe they will win a trophy this season! who're they playing in that final at the end of february? oh. oh, it's liverpool? okay.

the fa cup's going on now too ! they beat championship side preston north end 4-0, and then draw aston villa 0-0 at home - this will go to a replay the first week of february. only one yellow card across these two games, well done, chelsea.

first they've got a prem match to play against wolves. they allow wolves player matheus cunha to score a hat trick on them. oops. final result 2-4, 3 more yellow cards, 11th on the table with a goal difference of -1 (they've let 1 more goal past them than they've scored all season).

i know what you're saying. chelsea needs a good run here. and they get it! after losing to wolves, they don't lose another premier league game until today, april 23. we will get back to this. they win against crystal palace, newcastle united, manchester united, and everton (the everton game, they win 6-0. we will get back to this.) they draw against manchester city, brentford, and sheffield united (you know, the bottom of the table team who has no chance of staying in the prem next year).

they also win their fa cup ties against aston villa (replay) and championship sides leeds united and leicester city. they face manchester city in the semi finals. they lose. they also lose that league cup final to liverpool. a trophyless season for chelsea. they also still haven't figured out that premier league yellow card problem.

so let's talk about The Everton Game. cole palmer scored his second hat trick in two games and this one's brilliant. seriously watch the highlights it's amazing. chelsea is awarded a penalty in the 64th minute. all hell breaks loose on that pitch, roy kent vs jamie tartt style. here's a clip. for context, madueke was the one fouled for the penalty, palmer is the designated penalty taker. pochettino clearly hadn't made that clear to his players. you cannot fight on the pitch like that. you. you just.... you can't do that. palmer takes the penalty, his fourth goal of the night, he is in the golden boot (top scorer in the league) race.

what happened today, then? chelsea gets absolutely spanked 5-0 at arsenal. palmer was not playing today - he's sick. kai havertz who left chelsea for arsenal this summer scored 2. here's a sign a child held up in the crowd today. they're currently 9th on the table after 32 of 38 games have been played. the state of the club is a disaster. i'm genuinely intrigued to see what happens next year because.....it can't go on like this.

cole palmer leads the club in goals, assists, chances created, shots per game, key passes, through balls per game, xg, motm awards, & penalties.

thiago silva is leaving this summer.

nothing else is known. chelsea goes to aston villa on saturday. the league continues.

[theschizophrenicchristmasgoblin]

The Bin Chronicles

The first thing you need to know about me is that I will not be - in any sense of the word - a reliable narrator.

In fact, being an unreliable narrator is exactly what makes me so uncomfortably authentic. I’m a person who struggles with mental illness writing about having a mentally ill experience in multiple mental facilities with other mentally ill individuals.

If you resonate with what you’re about to hear, I’m deeply sorry and hope you’re getting the care and support you need. If you don’t resonate with my story and are simply reading for entertainment, welcome.

Disclaimer about the word bin*

In case you’re wondering what “bin” means in the title of the book, The Bin Chronicles, let me tell you. It is shorthand for the term “looney bin”. It’s an affectionate joking term that some people use to refer to the psych ward. If anyone asks, I made it up.

Chapter 1 - The Drive

Clutching my bleeding forearm to my chest, I tried to wade through my sandbag heavy thoughts. Were the handfuls of ibuprofen I downed ever going to kick in? Would I get charged extra if I bled out in the Uber I impulsively scheduled? Should I have texted all those friends to see if they were awake enough to convince me to go to the ER? Did I even deserve to go to the hospital for something like this?

The piercing headlights of the approaching white sedan broke through my worrying. It was decided. At 1:39 AM on August 20th, 2023, I was going to head to the Massachusetts General Hospital emergency room for severe self-harm.

I’d like to say something inspiring such as “getting in the backseat of that Uber was one of the bravest choices I’ve ever made”. But I’d be lying. It didn’t feel like a brave choice. I didn’t even really want to get help. I just knew that the voice in my head telling me that I needed to cut deep enough to require stitches needed to be taken seriously.

The only memory my increasingly painkiller sedated brain encoded was the irony of being in this particular car. Never in my life have I had a kinder driver. He went above and beyond and offered me a phone charger and water. That had never happened to me before. Meanwhile, I was having one of the worst nights of my life. His warmth made the hot tears roll down my cheeks even harder, as the juxtaposition of a stranger’s kindness compared to my own deadly self-hatred felt like too much to bear. It would have looked like a completely normal ride had I not been holding my injured arm to my chest.

Now that the anxiety of whether or not I should get into the Uber subsided, a new worry popped up. Was the cut deep enough? If not, would they turn me away? I was determined to finally go inpatient and in my deranged mind I thought the only way to get there was to have a medical emergency. As these thoughts multiplied, I remember trying to take in the city and its beautiful florescent lights. For a split second, I felt true serenity being one of the only cars on the highway. With my arm starting to throb and soak through the gauze, the tranquility didn’t last.

Suddenly, everything looked familiar. I had worked at Massachusetts General Hospital for a year as a research coordinator. I recognized Flour Bakery + Cafe, the little coffee shop with the best butter chicken sandwich around, and the old watering hole where we used to drink after work, Harvard Gardens. I got to retrace my daily commute on Staniford Street passing a Domino’s pizza that made me salivate (yes I like Domino’s, don’t turn your nose up at me!) and a sub shop I never got to try, turning right onto Cambridge Street where I could never resist the Whole Foods next to my work at lunch time. Streets usually jampacked and bustling with cars and pedestrians commuting to and from work were eerily empty. No babies crying, dogs barking, no full hands with lunches and coffee or music blaring while bicyclists rode past. As I finally reached the main entrance of Mass General, a feeling of dread set in. I knew that I wouldn’t be going home that night.

I got out of the car. Part of me thought about getting right back in. I guess in that moment I did two things: I fulfilled my mission of taking myself to the ER and I not only admitted I needed help but brought myself to the place that could keep me safe. Once inside, I talked with the woman at the front desk. Everyone there was incredibly calm and kind and I immediately felt a sense of relief. They asked me some basic demographic intake questions like my age, DOB, the nature of the visit, whether or not I had current suicidal thoughts. Unlike my previous ER visit earlier that week, the first thing they did when they saw me was stitch me up. I’ll never forget that the provider doing them said it was almost too superficial to require stitches. While many people might feel comforted by that fact, I felt discouraged. I felt like I hadn’t made the cut deep enough which in turn made me believe I didn’t deserve to be at the hospital. I didn’t see the psych triage team that morning, but I finally fell asleep in a recliner.

Before I explain any further, let me tell you how I put myself in this minacious situation.

…

The weeks leading up to Mass General and eventually McLean Hospital were not pretty. I had been going through a depressive episode for the past 6 months if not longer, but during those last two weeks things had gotten much worse. One of the things I struggle with when I’m depressed is hygiene. Usually that takes the form of not taking my prescribed pills or brushing my teeth. Graphic, I know. Sometimes it involves not brushing my hair or taking showers too infrequently. This time it was all of the above. I felt hopeless consistently and I stopped enjoying things that had otherwise brought me joy.

At that time, I really enjoyed smoking weed and drinking daily. I stopped them both cold turkey. Another source of enjoyment for me was watching TV with my partner every day. During this period, I stopped being able to pay attention to our shows. Instead, I spent most of my time watching myself from outside and above my body. I couldn’t watch TV or hold a conversation without dissociating. Dissociation is a break in how your mind processes information. Dissociation can cause feelings of disconnectedness from your thoughts, feelings, memories, or surroundings. It can also mess with identity and sense of time. It can be a natural response to trauma, a way to cope with stressful experiences, or a symptom of mental illnesses like PTSD, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder to name a few. Alternatively, it is sometimes a side effect of alcohol or taking or coming off of medications. For me, I either view myself from outside my body or stare blankly while being bombarded with anxious thoughts or none at all until someone snaps me out of it.

As soon as I lost interest in those aforementioned activities, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to them. I stopped eating. I struggle with a self-diagnosed weed-induced binge eating disorder where most of the time I restrict my food intake except for when I’m high. Once I stopped smoking, I lost my appetite completely. I wasn’t even restricting; I just had no energy to eat. I didn’t see the point in it anymore.

 I couldn’t keep myself up past 8:30 at night. I’d blame it on the medications I was taking, but I can’t even do that because my psychiatrist and I took the one medication that was impacting my sleep, Abilify, out of the mix. Abilify is an antipsychotic that treats many different mental health conditions such as schizophrenia, bipolar I, autism spectrum disorder, and Tourette syndrome. What it does is balance the levels of dopamine and serotonin in the brain to help regulate moods, behaviors, and thoughts. We decided to stop the medication because I wasn’t feeling any positive or negative effects and I didn’t feel like it was contributing to our goal of getting me out of my depressed funk.

Now I had nothing to blame for my change in sleep but my depression. I would later learn from McLean how important it is to change the narrative from “my depression made me do this” to “my experience with depression made me feel this way”. It might sound like a small change, but what it does is stop you from making your illness your whole identity. Personifying depression can give it a life of its own, and it can be empowering to separate yourself from it by making these small linguistic changes. Now that I have that information, I can reframe the narrative to recognize that one of the symptoms of depression is sleep disturbance and that I was at the time experiencing that symptom rather than blame my depression as a whole for the situation.

I started moving slowly. I felt like I was wading through water any time I had to stand. My energy was at an all-time low. I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed on the weekends and went right to bed when I got home from work. My bones ached. I felt tired all the time. I felt worthless. I felt like my life had no meaning, like I was merely a husk of my former self. I didn’t feel like I had any value to offer or bring to the world anymore.

I stopped paying attention at work because I couldn’t focus. I cried constantly and isolated myself from the rest of my coworkers. I had to step away from meetings because I couldn’t stop crying.  I wasn’t able to keep up with my social life. I stopped calling my friends and didn’t return their calls when they reached to check in. This may sound like I’m beating a dead horse, and it most definitely is redundant, but I want to highlight what the signs of depression were for me. I hope this helps you to identify it in yourself or in someone else.[MOU1] 

I felt like there was no reason for me to live and I fantasized about ending my life. I thought about all the ways in which I could kill myself and how to make it as painless as possible  for my loved ones. I had recurring dreams about overdosing on painkillers. To make matters worse, I promised myself that I wouldn’t fail. I knew I didn’t want to end up fucking it up like I did the last time I attempted in 2020. I didn’t want to end up in the hospital or disfigured in some way. I just wanted it all to end. 

On August 16th I cut so deeply that I needed stitches. I was on the phone with my partner Beau as he was driving home from work, and I just started cutting and couldn’t stop. The cut was actually a few days old, and it was already relatively deep. I’ve started doing this new thing where I cut in the same spot over and over again. I’m not sure why I switched from hurting myself in multiple places to the same one, but I know that this change is dangerous. It’s dangerous because it deepens the cut which can lead to needing hospital-level care.

Completely on brand, I decided to reopen this old wound and make it deep enough to require stitches. I think the reason I did this was because the other day when I made the initial cut, I called my ex roommate who is studying to be a doctor and she said that it might need stitches. Upon further inspection, she said it should heal on its own. I absolutely hated that she was right, and I wanted to prove her wrong. Welcome to my fucked up brain.

So on August 16th I reopened the wound and slashed at it until my partner came home from work. I couldn’t feel anything while it was happening, and I dissociate[MOU2] d as I watched myself deepen the cut from above my body. Before my partner got home I started rehearsing my smile and my coyness. But as soon as he opened the door, I caved. My cut was bleeding through the gauze, and it was having trouble clotting which was unsurprisingly really hard to hide.

I told him I thought I needed to go to the hospital. So off we went to Newton Wellesley Hospital. It was a surreal experience driving to the emergency room. I wasn’t in an ambulance, just a regular car. And there was that damn irony again, we could have been going anywhere. [MOU3] [MOU4] There I was, bleeding in the passenger seat, but there was no indication to the rest of the world that there was an emergent situation. No one knew I was hurting, inside and out, or that there was a wound acute enough to require stitches.

When we got to the hospital, Beau had me get out of the car so he could park. Upon entering the hospital, I was dismayed at how long the line was. I went all the way to the back and tried not to listen to other people’s conversations. I could smell the hospital: the pungent soapy yet flat geriatric scent that stops you from wanting to take a full deep breath in, the eye-watering bleach that they had used for God knows what, and the stench of stale discomfort and worry. I finally reached the front of the line and it was my turn to tell them why I was there. I strained to get the words out. “I’m here for self-harm”.

Suddenly, I’m treated like VIP. I don’t have to go back to the waiting room like everybody else. I now get to stay at the front of the line, and someone comes to check on me every 5 minutes. Finally, I’m brought back to a different part of the hospital along with a middle aged man who drank too much and took a spill. He keeps insisting that he’s not an alcoholic, and it becomes clear to me why they put us on the same unit: we were both there in a special part of the ER for those who purposefully harmed ourselves in some way. Or maybe it was that we were all dangers to ourselves. [MOU5] I was put on a bed in the hallway but I wasn’t there for long because someone from the psych[MOU6]  team came to get me before offering me medical attention. The Psychiatry Triage team at Newton-Wellesley consists of independently licensed social workers. The way it works is people coming through the ER are first evaluated by the Emergency Department clinical team to ensure they are medically cleared. Then the social workers psychiatrically assess the patient to decide what the best level of care is for them. Looking back on this, it’s definitely weird that I wasn’t medically cleared first. Anyways, a nurse came to get me to help me put on scrubs. From there, the social worker and I went into an empty room and I was told to take any seat. I picked one and then was told to find another one, which to delirious me was the first sign that something wasn’t quite right.

The social worker sat far away from me and constantly had to lean in to hear me better. I told her what was going on, and that I wanted to do an outpatient program for Borderline Personality Disorder at McLean Hospital. This is a diagnosis I received in 2021. She laughed in my face and said it would take way too long to get off that waitlist. She asked me once if I wanted to go inpatient[MOU7] , but didn’t give me any information about the process. I declined, and she asked me why I had come to the hospital in the first place. I gestured toward my arm.

What is inpatient treatment you may ask? Here’s what I wish I knew when I was asked if I wanted to go…inpatient treatment is meant to be a short time in a psychiatric hospital to keep people safe during a mental health crisis. This is the most intensive treatment option for mental health, otherwise known as the highest level of care. What this term describes is different types of mental health treatment. This level of care includes hospitalization, whereas the lowest level of care refers to weekly or less often outpatient therapy sessions. Outpatient refers to a level of care in a non-residential setting where patients can live at home while participating in treatment. There are two main types of inpatient care: hospitalization and residential treatment. Hospitalizations are designed to be short term, often an overnight stay up to a few weeks long, and residential treatment often lasts 30 days or more. The focus of inpatient care is stabilization of the patient and developing a treatment plan for continuing their care once they are discharged. Hospitalizations are often thought of as a necessary safe place for those who are experiencing crisis, while residential treatment can help someone avoid a crisis before it escalates to that level. Inpatient can be voluntary which means you agree to seeking intensive care, or it can be involuntary which is referred to as involuntary or compulsory hospitalization where the person does not want to be at this level of care[MOU8] .

For context, inpatient units often look more like a college dorm than a hospital floor. There are both single and double rooms that often have their own bathroom that is shared with the adjacent room. There are also both group therapy and individual therapy rooms where you meet with psychiatrists, therapists, and group facilitators daily. There are common areas for eating, family visits, relaxing in places such as sensory rooms where there are comfortable chairs, fidget toys, and more, there’s always a nurses station where you take your meds, and there are offices for the staff and clinicians who you meet with on a weekly if not more frequent basis. This depends on if you are in a residential or hospital setting. These units are locked or secured environments, meaning that you cannot leave the unit without supervision. On the floor are a team of professionals including psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, case workers, nurses, nutritionists, recreational therapists, occupational therapists, and mental health technicians to name a few.

After this awful interaction with the social worker, I was brought back to my hallway bed and was told to sit tight. A doctor came over and questioned if I even needed stitches, so I showed him my arm and he quickly covered it back up and agreed. To give you a visual, puffy fat [MOU9] was visible from my open wound[MOU10] . At first the deep groove filled up with dark red blood and you couldn’t see anything underneath. When they finally removed the rudimentary bandage I had made, that’s when you could see the true damage. According to my boyfriend the cut was about 3 inches long by an inch wide. While the left side of it was thinner, the right side of the wound was gaping. Yellow fat was visible almost in the shape of a bubble drawn flower and it was protruding a tiny bit past the wound. I could see a small black spot that I later learned was a vein. The fat looked bumpy and textured. No butterfly bandage could hold together what I had done to myself.

Hospital staff came over with an EKG and then they finally put me in my own room where x ray came over to look at my arm. Then the doctor entered the room with a huge syringe. He squirted it into my open wound with no regard for my pain tolerance. Then he began sewing the skin on my upper arm back together. Oddly enough, he never asked if the numbing medicine had kicked in. I can’t quite describe the feeling of the needle, but it was strange, dull, and felt far away due to the numbness. It looked exactly like stitching clothing, a long needle with a thin piece of string except there was a hook for the stitch which entered my arm on either side of the wound. This created small holes that filled with blood too.  He told me not to look but I couldn’t help myself. I was grotesquely in awe. As he dabbed at the blood flowing from my open wound I thought I might be sick. When he was done, I had 7 blue stitches on my left arm. The doctor left as quickly as he came.

Then the nurse who had helped me undress and put on scrubs came back in. I told her that I had had an awful experience talking to the social worker. She said, “I’m sorry” and then walked out. Anothernurse overheard the conversation and said she could talk to the social worker for me. I almost let her advocate for me, but I was too scared that the social worker would come in and try to talk to me again, so I said no. She said she could look in the nurses station to see if another social worker was available. I thanked her. She came back with a list of crisis hotline numbers. I left disappointed with no aftercare plan in place. I texted my therapist about it, and she said that particular social worker was known to be a bitch. It’s still insane to me that the last thing I got that night was stitches when that’s all I went in for. It would be understandable to delay my stitches if they had properly gotten me set up with inpatient or outpatient care, but as you can tell that was not the case. I vowed to not go back to Newton Wellesley in the event of another mental health crisis.

…

When I returned home, my therapist made it clear that if I self-harmed again I needed to go directly to the hospital. Her and my psychiatrist both thought I needed to go back to the hospital regardless, but I didn’t want to leave work. I thought that leaving work for a medical emergency meant I wasn’t a good employee. That I wasn’t dedicated enough. To this day, I still feel that way.

Alas, I hung in there. For those of you who don’t go to therapy, therapists often use the phrase “hang in there” when the session is over and you’ve just unloaded five years’ worth of trauma into a fifty-five minute slot. I have always hated the phrase because I feel like it is minimizing. You’re contemplating ending your life? Just hang in there[MOU11] . Anyways, I “hung in there” for three more days.

I don’t remember what time it was on August 19th that I made my decision. In my head I suddenly had a plan. I would pretend for the rest of the day that everything was fine, that I was in a positive mood, and then at night I would cut to the degree of needing stitches again and take myself to the ER. I was actually really nice and generous that day. I bought my roommate and partner dinner and drinks. I kept up appearances. My partner commented on how good of a mood I was in and I cheerily agreed, suggesting that my depression must have finally gone away. On the inside, I was on a mission. All I wanted was for my boyfriend to go to sleep that night. I didn’t want him to take me to the ER because he had already helped me get to the ER for self-harm three days prior. It didn’t feel fair to have him take me for a second time in the matter of one week.

Somehow, I forced myself to watch part of a movie with him. As soon as he started to doze off, I got to work on my plan. I located my scissors. I went into the bathroom. I normally cut horizontally on my left arm. In perfect dissonance, I decided to cut vertically on my right arm. The pair of scissors I was using had gotten dull from years of use. I could barely cut my skin. It was also awkward because I’m a righty, so using my left hand to cut vertically was a challenge. I was listening to Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan [MOU12] on repeat. The pre chorus and chorus really haunt me.

“Stayed on the line with you the entire night

‘Til you let it out and let it in

Don’t let this darkness fool you

All lights turned off can be turned on

I’ll drive, I’ll drive all night

I’ll call your mom”

At the time I didn’t realize how much I was contemplating suicide. The idea of having someone on the phone with me who I could talk to about these feelings rather than acton them would have changed the course of my life. Having someone remind me that the darkness that I was feeling was temporary might have made me make a different decision. That night, I really needed someone to call my mom.

I took one earbud out of my ear so I could hear if my partner woke up. In the bathroom I felt too far away from my room, so I moved to the couch. I used my flashlight on my phone to see what I was doing. He stirred. I freaked out. He got up to use the bathroom and I quickly shut off the flashlight and put a blanket over the bloody scissors and blood-soaked napkins. Somehow he didn’t get suspicious and went back to bed. I started thinking about what I would take with me to the ER. Underwear is a must. Computer, computer charger. Piece of paper from work about FMLA resources. Phone charger. Scrub pants. Comfy clothes.

I got a plastic bag for my dirty supplies. While cutting didn’t hurt on the 16th, it hurt every second on the early morning of the 20th. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I packed my bag, took one last look at my room, and left my apartment. As soon as I got outside I started hyperventilating. In a very unlike me fashion, I proceeded to text a bunch of my friends to ask if they were up. 2 responded, 1 was busy. I called my friend from home and told her I needed to go to the hospital. She stayed on the phone with me until I got in the Uber.

[rp-meme-central]

Fallout 4 - Nick Valentine -  sentence starters

1. “I told them that I was rigged to explode, and started going ‘beep... beep... beep’.”  

2. “Those people treated me like a human being. I’ve been trying to return the favor ever since.”

3. “A ______’s life isn’t an easy one, but it rarely lacks for excitement.”

4. “You see a lot of people at their worst when you’re in my line of work. Hard to not let it get to you sometimes.”

5. “Another beautiful day in the most dangerous place in the world.”

6. “The only tune I want to hear right now is ______ recanting a life of villainy.”

7. “I never would have gotten this far without you.”

8. “I’m not going anywhere until I get what I came for.”

9. “All I know is that, without you, ______ would still be at large.”

10. “I just thought this would fix things. But it’s not that easy.”

11. “It was about justice, about doing what was right. And that act of goodness, that’s ours. All the good we’ve done. That’s ours and ours alone.”

12. “With you at my side, doing the kind of good we’ve done? I’m about as great as one _____ can be.”

13. “Well, to not put too fine a point on it, you’re the best damn partner I’ve ever had. So I’d say I’m doing pretty good.”

14. “I got you as a friend. There’s nothing more one old _____ could ask for.”

15. “Thanks to you, _______ is pushing up daisies and ______ is safer for it. What you’ve done, I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

16. “I used to wonder how people lasted as long as they have out here. Now I know, it’s thanks to people like you.”

17. “_____ can take a real toll on you if you let it. I’ve seen this place make monsters out of men.”

18. “Don’t pay ‘em any mind... not that they would know what to do with one anyway.”

19. “Just ignore ‘em. Not worth anyone with manners possibly getting hurt.”

20. “Only madmen could justify trying to wipe out an entire people just because they were made, not born.”

21. “All the resources they’ve got, the _______ could do a lot of good. Shame they want to wipe out my kind instead.”

22. “_____ was just here. You saw him/her/them, right?”

23. “It’s not easy to do the right thing for something that seems so evil. But everybody deserves their fair shot.”

24. “I won’t tolerate anyone mistreating the only other ______ in town I can stand.” 

25. “Always wondered what you’d look like as a robot. Not too shabby.”

26. “It took me a long time to realize that home is where you make it. With some time and effort, this place could be home for you too.”

27. “I remember waking up one day in a garbage heap, a body in tatters and a head full of memories belonging to a ______ who’d been dead for _____ years. Suffice to say, it was a confusing couple of weeks.”

28. “I think his/her/their name was ______. The first person to actually speak to me after I got the boot from the ______. My first human contact in this world.”

29. “I wouldn’t normally bother you with this sort of thing, but... well, I know I can trust you at this point.”

30. “They’re just this inescapable reminder. That I’m not the person I think I am. That I’m not a person at all.”

31. “All I want is a life where I have something I can call my own.”

32. “_____’s not an easy place to travel alone. Nice to have someone watching my back.”

33. “You know, some folks are just out for themselves. Others want to help those in need. Jury’s still out which camp you’re in.”  

34. “There are some crimes even you can’t get away with, _____.”

35. “No. No more jokes. You looked me in the eye and told me you were going to shape up. But that was just another load of bull.”

36. “You know, you have a funny way of showing your fondness for others.”

37. “All right, fine. But seriously, drop the buffoon act. Because this is your last shot. There won’t be another.”

38. “I’ve met a lot of scum in my line of work. People I wouldn’t throw to the _____. But you, you’re a real piece of work.”

39. “If I were your ______, I’d remember.”

40. “I always thought I was just more of their discarded trash. Never thought of the possibility that someone wanted me out. Helped me escape.”

41. “Get away from me! What the hell are you?”

42. “_____ really did help me escape the ______? I wasn’t just tossed out with the garbage?”

43. “Should I give _____ a chance? Try to accept him/her/them as my _____? He/she/they might be the only other ______ that exists.”

44. “I guess no one gets to choose their family, but when your family is built in a lab, things gets... weird.”

45. “So... ____ is dead. After all that talk about trying to accept him/her/them as family, we end up getting him/her/them killed anyway.”

46. “You know, why don’t you shut the hell up for once? I swear you care more about sounding smart sometimes than you do about who has to listen to it.”

47. “You sure you want to waltz through ______ HQ with a _____ at your side?”

48. “No! Dammit, _______, don’t listen! Hang in there!”

49. “That was one sorry negotiation up there.”

50. “With any luck, something will be making a meal out of ______ before sunrise.”

51. “It took a lot of guts to do what you did. I know it couldn’t have been easy.”

52. “This is a brave new world you’ve ushered in. But I suppose it’ll do.”

53. “There really is no way to ride a seesaw with dignity.”

54. “I’d offer a game, but you probably can’t calibrate your arm sensitivity, can you?”

55. “Don’t be afraid to dream big, _____. This isn’t all you have to be.”

56. “You know, since the first time we met, I always got the sense that you would change this place. I just never expected it would be like this.”

57. “Thanks for getting me out. How did you know where to find me anyway? Not many people knew where I went.”  

58. “Yeah, I’ve heard it all before. ‘You’re a freak’, ‘You’ve got something to hide’. Blah, blah, blah.”

[fated2loveu]

Question 1-30 for kiyo and 31-70 for dai~

Kiyoharu & Daichi

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Parents passed away a long time ago. At the time it wasn’t the best.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Dai, when I left to run errands earlier today.

03: Do you regret anything?

Everything, well not everything, mostly not effectively communicating what I really felt and thought to the person who meant the most to me. For letting fear scare me into hiding instead of talking.

04: Are you insecure?

Yes.

05: What is your relationship status?

Divorced

06: How do you want to die?

Surrounded by people I love. Hopefully of old age. Or spontaneous death…..

07: What did you last eat?

Ramen

08: Played any sports?

A little baseball years ago.

09: Do you bite your nails?

Occasionally

10: When was your last physical fight?

3 years ago…..

11: Do you like someone?

Yes.

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

Many times

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Yes

14: Do you miss someone?

Always

15: Have any pets?

No

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Conflicted, without purpose.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Yeah sure.

18: Are you scared of spiders?

No

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yes

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

I don’t remember…… the bridge? The house?

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Take the kids and visit the zoo.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I have 5 part time. I’m happy with what I have.

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Yes, several

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

History

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Everyday

26: What are you craving right now?

Pizza and sushi?

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Regrettably

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Don’t know of any?

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Yes….. regrettably

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Me.

31: Does somebody love you?

No clue.

32: What is your favourite color?

Purple?

33: Do you have trust issues?

Depends on what it is.

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

The kids mainly Toki playing in the snow.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Yuuki?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

No

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive. Memories last.

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

Not quite.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

13?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Yes

51: Favourite food?

Tacos!

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

I know….. why things happen

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Orange juice.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

No, but I’ve had compassion for drunken mistakes or blinded moments.

55: Are you mean?

No

56: How many people have you fist fought?

2?

57: Do you believe in true love?

Yes

58: Favourite weather?

Spring

59: Do you like the snow?

Sure….

60: Do you wanna get married?

It’s a little late in life to want it

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Depends

62: What makes you happy?

Children laughing

63: Would you change your name?

No

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Uh…. Yeah

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Don’t have one?

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

No

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Emi

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Kiyo

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

I believe soulmates can be formed

70: Is there anyone you would die for

My family

[submergedmemory]

@odd-kid-42

the way I typed out this big long thing the one time i decided not to answer an ask in a different word document only for my BROWSER TO CRASH AND LOSE EVERYTHING LOL NO TALK ME I’M ANGY

1) Describe their first date.

A little chaotic lol. Morgan gets "paid" in expensive opera tickets for a job she did, and she figures since she can't sell them she might as well use them, so she invites Glenn, on the “condition” that she gets him weed, which she does, like a true gentlewoman. Like the way you buy flowers for your date.

Turns out the tickets are for Puccini’s Turandot, which is awkward because 1) it’s in that uncomfortable liminal space of “racist but seminal part of opera canon,” in the same way Madama Butterfly is (also a Puccini work. Funny, that) and 2) Glenn’s kind of high so when the part where the Prince and the titular Turandot sing a love duet to each other almost immediately after a character has been tortured and then kills herself out of love for the Prince (spoilers for a 100 year old opera ig) Glenn just goes, “HEY MAN WHAT THE FUCK,” which makes Morgan basically howl with laughter and the two are promptly kicked out.

Personally I would have just let them stay, the opera’s basically almost over by that point, but that’s just me. Anyway, Glenn’s feeling bad but Morgan’s just like, “It’s cool, dude, shit’s racist anyway.”

They go to a bar and get a little tipsy, tipsy enough for them to come up with the brilliant idea of breaking into the classroom where Morgan does her piano tutoring (I’m assuming there was some shit-talking regarding this while they were at the bar which lead to this brilliant idea). Morgan shows off her mad skillz, Glenn is suitably impressed, and they almost get caught by security while they’re fucking around, so they hide under the piano, where the heady combination of booze + weed + adrenaline + proximity + general feeling of “wow, Morgan’s so cool” = Glenn kissing Morgan.

They leave and head to Morgan’s apartment, where things very quickly escalate, but then very suddenly and very quickly de-escalate, and the night ends with them both sleeping together, in a very literal sense, with both of them deciding that they’ll deal with things when they wake up in the morning together.

So you know, all in all, a pretty good date.

39) When and how did they admit that they loved each other? If they haven’t yet, why?

I’ve thought up a lot of situations and a lot of scenarios for these two, but the one I’ve always had trouble on was this one! I don’t actually know if they have ever said the actual words out loud. Morgan is very taciturn and guarded so she would rather show her love through her actions rather than words. Glenn is emotionally constipated in general anyway, so he also tries to show his love through his actions, with slightly less success than Morgan, but he does try. I also think both of them grew up with parents who didn’t outright say the words “I love you” to them, so for both of them it’s really awkward hearing it, too.

I think for Morgan in particular, the closest she’s ever “said” it was during a trip to Disney World. It's their first trip together as a couple, Morgan's first time ever on any Disney property, and probably their last hurrah on the east coast before they head west to California, so naturally they're both feeling like they're young, dumb and full of you know.

It’s their second day there, Morgan’s still a little bit low-key drunk from doing the Drinking Around the World challenge the night before, Glenn is basically dead on his feet from trying to do the same, so she parks Glenn on a bench so she can get them both water (and a dole whip for Glenn), and it’s taking a weirdly long time for Morgan to come back so he goes to look for her only to find her basically unleashing a no-holds-barred beat down on a face character.

He spirits her away to their motel room before she gets arrested, or worse, banned from Disney, where he patches her up and cleans her injuries (all cosmetic, thankfully) because neither of them have health insurance and want to risk going to the emergency room, and Morgan tells Glenn, (again, still kind of drunk and also wired from the adrenaline and the pain of her injuries and also from having to see a shitty person from her past in a place that’s supposed to be happy and fun) that he’s, “the only mother-fucker who can handle me,” which, as far as Just Morgan Things go, is basically a love confession anyway.

Anyway, that's why I draw Morgan with a slightly fucked up right earlobe.

21) Do they enjoy domestic life?

I had this whole long answer about how they both want kids (and Morgan wants a house, eventually) but they also both want to keep their jobs but with the type of career they have (Glenn’s is obvious, Morgan is principle dancer on tour in her prime) makes it really hard to be domestic and stay at home all the time, and even when one (or both) of them is at home base, neither want to do the stay-at-home spouse thing, but since they’re committed to staying together, they work it out, but not without their fair share of arguments and compromises, but seeing as how it all got deleted, I will just say, “not at first, but they manage and eventually they do grow to appreciate it,” and link you to this ship meme I did a long time ago to keep track of my own shit of cute couple-y domestic things they do.

15) What songs remind you of their relationship?

You just wanna know my Glenn/Morgan playlist ;p Well it’s a work in progress so maybe later.

I originally listed only 2 songs, but this time I will list 3, you’re welcome.

Blues for Klook – Eddy Louiss

The figure skating fans will know what this piece is. No lyrics, just mood, and what a mood it is. Dark, brooding and very sensual. I don’t often portray Glenn and Morgan like this, but I do think people see them as pretty sexy, individually and also definitely together in a moody, “mad, bad, and dangerous to know,” sort of way.

The Day Before You Came – ABBA

It's funny, but I had no sense of living without aim The day before you came

Probably my favorite ABBA song, despite the melancholic, wistful feel if you take the lyrics at face value it’s about a person recalling their previous dull and monotonous life before the titular ‘you’ comes along and changes things. This is also a song that is apparently subject to much more sinister interpretations, such as the ‘you” being dead or even a murder. Glenn would appreciate the conspiracy theory-ness of it all.

Marauders – Thao and the Get Down Stay Down

I got that poison Carve it on out Barely served me then And it only hurts me now My darlin’ Your patience Rain it on me I know daughters of marauders are just so hard to please

Of course I have a Thao song for the occasion. Sometimes you bring baggage into the relationship and the kindest thing you can do it ask your partner to help you bear it.

Honorable mentions include: Nature Boy (Nat King Cole), You and I (Lady Gaga), The Ugly and the Beautiful (The Real Tuesday Weld), Venus in Furs (Velvet Underground)

[cajunandfire]

Hi Spicy! So many good choices for your fic drabbles list! I’d like to ask for #39 for Diana/47 ❤️

“Friends don’t look at each other the way you two do”

"Friends don't look at each other the way you two do" from this fic drabble ask challenge.

-

The teaspoon sings as it swirls around the large ceramic mug. 47 peers down, pleased with the shade of the milky beverages. He sets the utensil down, collecting both mugs as he begins to leave the kitchen, but not before a figure stands in the entry way before him.

"Good, you're here. We need to talk more about getting you onto the Isle of Sgaíl." Lucas says, as he makes his way around 47, removing his jacket and placing it on one of the kitchen barstools.

He reaches out for one of the mugs in 47's hands, "Two sugars?"

"No," 47 furrows his brows, slowly pulling the mug towards himself and out of his brother's grasp. "It's tea."

"Tea? Why on earth would you make me tea?"

"It's not for you," 47 replies lowly, standing there as serious as ever and as if the answer was as clear as day.

Lucas raises his brows slightly, a small knowing smirk starts to make its way across his lips.

"Ah, for your precious Diana then."

"Keep your voice down." 47 immediately scolds.

Diana sits in the next room, on the far side at the dining table, focused on her laptop as Olivia sits on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV.

"So you admit it," Lucas says in a lower tone. "She is precious to you."

"Six," 47 frowns. "What are you doing?"

"I'd say it's about time you were honest with me."

47 turns, placing the mugs down and resting his hands on the old marble counter. He shifts his jaw but stays quiet.

"She's more than just your handler, isn't she?"

"No." 47 responds abruptly, pointed and sharp. He's immediately defensive.

"No?" Lucas asks, incredulously. He slides onto the kitchen barstool right in front of his brother.

"Then what is she to you?" He continues.

47 swallows hard under the scrutiny.

"She's... My handler."

Lucas practically snorts at the response. "I said honest didn't I, 47? I've seen the way you two act around each other."

"She's my partner," 47 retorts, his eyes fixated on the steaming hot mugs in front of him.

"Mhmm, perhaps another kind of partner," Lucas grumbles beneath his breath, as he paws at a tin of biscuits to remove the lid.

47 exhales slowly, aware that Lucas won't let him off the hook just yet. "She means a great deal to me. She's... my friend." The word sounds almost foreign on his lips and cumbersome on his tongue. He hadn't called anyone a friend before.

"Come now little brother," Lucas pauses before taking a bite of the biscuit he's found. He reaches over to squeeze his brother's forearm. "Friends don't look at each other the way you two do."

The smallest tinge of pink graces 47's high cheekbones. Despite his best efforts to keep his feelings under wraps, they've given him away. He opens his mouth to respond, but shuts it wordlessly.

He finally looks up, his eyes pleading with his brother to stop the line of questioning. 47 wasn't ready to divulge the details behind the reality of his relationship with Diana. She was his closest human connection and everything about their relationship was shrouded in mystery, specifically done so to protect it after all these years.

Lucas smiles, motioning to the doorway with his head. "Go ahead. We'll talk later. We don't want that tea getting cold."

47 quietly walks out, almost sheepishly peering out from the kitchen to ensure their conversation wasn't overheard. To his relief Olivia and Diana are talking about something on the news. He settles the mugs down on the table, right in front of Diana. The two look at each other, sharing a small smile as Diana thanks him. When a preoccupied Olivia returns her attention to the television, Diana reaches two fingers over to softly caress 47's knuckles. He gently captures her two fingers, and holds her hand. They share yet another small, knowing smile.

47 looks up and over Diana's shoulder, catching Lucas leaning on the kitchen doorframe with a smile on his face.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Other Pairings/No Pairing Oneshots 001-100

They are all in order from highest word count to lowest. Everything is under the cut.

39 fics total

🥵 = smutty goodness 😏 = implied smut 🥰 = fluffy sweetness 🥺 = angsty heartache 🙂 = neither fluffy nor angsty

Word Count: ~2.6k

🥰 You’ve Already Won // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: You’ve never been kissed under the mistletoe, and Tom wants to change that.

Word Count: ~2.3k

🥰 Malibu // Chris Evans // Summary: You’ve never been to the beach, let alone leave your home state. You’re a waitress at a small restaurant with your two best friends but you’re dating the famous Chris Evans after you met him a marvel convention. He comes to you with a surprise trip and you love it more than expected.

Word Count: ~2.2k

🥺 Please Don’t Leave Me // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: You have a terrible fear of crowds and your boyfriend, Tom, doesn’t know of this. When you two encounter a college rave in the middle of the Central Park, your worst fear comes to life.

Word Count: ~2k

🥰 Best Birthday Ever // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: It’s your birthday and while at a stoplight, you meet Tom Hiddleston. Your friends embarrass you and you move onto shopping where Tom Hiddleston is again because he can’t get you out of his mind.

Word Count: ~1.9k

🥺🥰 Not Alone // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: While editing your videos for YouTube, something strange happens. Footsteps coming from above you, doors opening by themselves, and knocks on the front door when no one is there. So, you call your boyfriend for help.

Word Count: ~1.8k

🥰 Truth… or Dare…? // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: A game of truth or dare with your childish friends turns into something more when you get stuck in a closet with your crush, Tom Hiddleston.

🥺 Always Make It Back To You // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: Being away from your husband is har enough, especially with a one year old. All you can do is push through until the end, hoping you’ll make it out alright.

🥺 Not A Problem Anymore // Tom Hardy // Summary: Your boyfriend is very possessive over you and effects your life in a negative way. Tom has been by your side through it all until one day it just gets too much for him and he has to do something about it.

Word Count: ~1.7k

🥰 You Won’t Know If You Don’t Try // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: After your husband dies on the job, you didn’t think you would find love again until Tom comes into your life. Will you ever move on and try to find love again with a new man?

🥰 What Christmas is All About // Elizabeth Olsen // Summary: You and your girlfriend celebrate Christmas in different hemispheres, and you’re all too happy to show her just how you and your family spend Christmas in the middle of summer.

Word Count: ~1.6k

🥰 Taking Care Of You // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: You hate missing out on your dates with Tom but sometimes, Mother Nature just won’t let you leave the house, much less the bed.

🥰 Words Can’t Describe… // Chris Evans // Summary: You and Chris are high school sweethearts. You’ve been through every up and downs there are, and right now, you need him for a really big down.

Word Count: ~1.5k

🥰🥺 Fighting Your Battles // Tom Holland // Summary: Anxiety is always lurking around the corner for you. It’s worse when you’re in the dark and Tom knows just how bad it can get. Luckily for you, he is always there to help you.

🥰 Knowing Your Worth // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: You are always there for Tom Hiddleston, one fo your closest friends and when he and Taylor Swift ended, you were there to pick up the pieces. Now, you are here to defend him against her when a fan brings them up.

🥰 It’s What Family Does // Carol Danvers // Summary: Your relationship with Carol isn’t exactly known, and she encourages you to tell your brother despite your fears of being rejected.

🥺 At A Crossroads // Ikaris // Summary: You’re kept in the dark of Ikaris’ past because he refuses to share anything with you, but you never ask him about things he’s not ready to talk about. That is, until he’s forced to deal with it, and he may not like the outcome.

Word Count: ~1.4k

🥰 Running From Your Feelings // Sebastian Stan // Summary: Sebastian is the kind of person you need to stay away from. Ever since the incident, all you want to do is ignore him. But something inside of you won’t let you.

🥰 Feels Like Home // Chris Hemsworth // Summary: You live on the beach and one of your favorite things to do is surf. Chris Hemsworth comes back to Australia and things are different than the last time you saw him.

🥰 Tomorrow Is A New Day // Chris Evans // Summary: being far away from home is taking a toll on you, but Chris is by your side to help you through it.

Word Count: ~1.3k

🥰 I Can Always Count On You // Tom Holland // Summary: You’re at a marvel convention with your boyfriend because of how hot it is, you pass out. Tom does whatever he can to help you get better.

😏 Get Up! // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: You’re tasked with getting Tom out of bed and ready for work but the problem is he doesn’t want to get up. 🥺 Wrong Time, Right Person // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: Tom Hiddleston has been a part of your life ever since your daughter was born. He’s been with you through thick and thin, especially through this thick time.

🥰 Grab Every Opportunity // Elizabeth Olsen // Summary: Working with the famous Elizabeth Olsen is one of your dreams come true. Working with her permanently, now that’s a different story.

🥰 Always Have A Place To Stay // Chris Evans // Summary: Meeting Chris Evans at the airport is amazing, but taking him home? That’s just unbelievable. 🥺 Too Good To Be True // Chris Evans // Summary: Having a family is everything you and Chris wanted. It was very hard to get pregnant so when you finally do, you knew it was too good to be true.🥰 Friendly Competition // Chris Evans // Summary: You drag Chris in your childhood traditions, and it’s a lot more fun than you anticipated.

Word Count: ~1.2k

🥰😏 Best Holiday Ever // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: Tom takes you away for a weekend getaway, and it’s more than you could ever ask for.

🥰 New Tree, New Relationship // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: Without even realizing it, you found something much more than a Christmas Tree. You finally found the spark in not only your regular customer but also your friend.

🥰 My Car, My Music // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: You only have one rule and everyone knows it: when you’re driving, it’s your music.

🥰 Disneybounding // Chris Evans // Summary: Just because you and your husband can’t dress up at Disney, doesn’t mean you won’t look like iconic characters.

🥰 Forbidden Love // Pepper Potts // Summary: You had one mission and one mission only: track and report Loki. It never said anything about falling for a certain mortal.

🥰 Right Where He Belongs // Pietro Maximoff // Summary: Pietro died on Sokovia. Right?

🥰 Not Really Good With Heights // Eddie Brock // Summary: Eddie has to go to extreme measures to get you to help him against the battle with Carlton Drake.

Word Count: ~1.1k

🥰 Te Amo // Tom Holland // Summary: When you think Tom is doing one thing, he is actually doing another. You were so quick to judge.

🥰 Make The Pain Go Away // Tom Holland // Summary: You’re sick and as much as you hate it, Tom is there to make sure you feel better.

🥰 That’s Not Fair // Tom Holland // Summary: Your client, Tom Holland, comes to the gym all the time to train for his Marvel movies, but how can you focus on training him when he looks like that?

🥺🥰 It’s All Coming Back To Me Now // Tom Hiddleston // Summary:You’re in love with Tom Hiddleston but it gets harder and harder to be with him since most of the time you spend away from each other instead of together. You live in New York, he lives in London. Can the two fo you make it work? 🥰 Other Ways To Have Fun // Tom Hiddleston // Summary: There are other ways to have fun than being on your phone.

🥰 We’re Doing It Together // Elizabeth Olsen // Summary: You and your best friend are pregnant together, but that doesn’t mean you are just best friends. 🥰 Everything Falls Into Place // Elizabeth Olsen // Summary: The person you’ve been talking to for a long time, you’ve only known her online. Now it’s finally time to meet her.

🥰 Unbreakable Bond // Chris Evans // Summary: A relaxing day at the lake with all your friends turns into something much more than you bargained for. 🥰 Everything I Ever Wanted // Chris Evans // Summary: Chris Evans has everything he ever wanted: a steady job, a wife and a beautiful daughter. You’ve done everything for him and he will spend the rest of his life trying to pay you back.

Word Count: ~1k

🥰 Alternate Means For Warmth // Sebastian Stan // Summary: When you and one of your regular customers get trapped in your store, you have to find other means of getting warm.

🥰 The Secret Is Out // Sebastian Stan // Summary: Sebastian takes you on a vacation of your dreams, away from everyone you have to hide from. Once the secret is out, it isn’t as bad as you might think.

🥺 He Was Supposed To Come Home // Chris Evans // Summary:You’ve patiently waited for your husband to come home from active duty. It’s everything your daughter wants. Sometimes we don’t always get what we want.

[donttalkaboutmemes]

Hercules (1997) Sentence Meme

Under the cut you will find 150+ sentences from the 1997 version of Hercules to use for your enjoyment!    

1.      “Long ago in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes.”

2.      “What is the measure of a true hero?”

3.      “Will you listen to him? He’s making the story sound like some Greek tragedy!”

4.      “We are the muses, goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes.”

5.      “Look at this. Look how cute he is.”

6.      “He’s strong! Like his dad, hm?”

7.      “I haven’t seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.”

8.      “He won’t hurt himself. Let the kid have a little fun.”

9.      “How are things in the underworld?”

10.   “They’re just fine, y’know? A little dark, a little gloomy, and hey, full of dead people.”

11.   “Unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regrettably have a full-time gig.”

12.   “You oughta slow down. You’ll work yourself to death.”

13.   “If there’s one god you don’t want to get steamed up, it’s Hades.”

14.   “Let me know the instant the fates arrive.”

15.   “The Fates are here and you didn’t tell me?”

16.   “Memo to me. Memo to me, maim you after my meeting.”

17.   “Hold that mortal’s thread of life good and tight.”

18.   “Is this kid gonna mess up my hostile takeover bid or what?”

19.   “We’re not supposed to reveal the future.”

20.   “My fate is in your lovely hands.”

21.   “In eighteen years precisely, the planets will align ever so nicely.”

22.   “Got a little riddle for you. How do you kill a god?”

23.   “Let’s just kill the kid and get it over with, okay?”

24.   “He has to drink the whole potion! Every last drop!”

25.   “For so many years we’ve prayed to the gods to bless us with a child. Perhaps they’ve answered our prayers.”

26.   “You mean if he finds out.”

27.   “If. If is good.”

28.   “Hey, you need an extra guy?”

29.   “That boy is a menace!”

30.   “He’s too dangerous to be around normal people!”

31.   “He didn’t mean any harm. He’s just a kid. He just can’t control his strength.”

32.   “I’m warning you. You keep that freak away from here!”

33.   “You shouldn’t let those things they said back there get to you.”

34.   “They’re right. I am a freak. I try to fit in, I really do.”

35.   “Sometimes I feel like I really don’t belong here. Like I��m supposed to be someplace else.”

36.   “If you found me, then where did I come from? Why was I left here?”

37.   “This was around your neck when we found you. It’s the symbol of the gods.”

38.   “What’s your hurry? After all these years, is this the kind of hello you give your father?”

39.   “Didn’t know you had a famous father, did you?”

40.   “You wanted answers, and by thunder, you’re old enough to know the truth.”

41.   “Why’d you leave me on Earth? Didn’t you want me?”

42.   “Only gods can live on Mount Olympus.”

43.   “If you prove yourself a true hero on Earth, your godhood will be restored.”

44.   “Exactly how do you become a true hero?”

45.   “You sure this is the right place?”

46.   “Nymphs. They can’t keep their hands off me.”

47.   “What’s the matter? You never seen a satyr before?”

48.   “I need your help. I want to become a hero, a true hero.”

49.   “Two words. I am retired.”

50.   “Haven’t you ever had a dream? Something you wanted so bad you’d do anything?”

51.   “I trained all those would-be heroes.”

52.   “I had a dream once. I dreamed I was gonna train the greatest hero there ever was, so great the god’s would hang a picture of him in the stars.”

53.   “Dreams are for rookies.”

54.   “A guy can only take so much disappointment.”

55.   “I’m different from those guys. I can go the distance.”

56.   “I’m too old to get mixed up in this stuff again.”

57.   “Hold it! Zeus is your father?”

58.   “Rule ninety five, kid. Concentrate.”

59.   “I am ready. I wanna get off this island. I want to see battles and monsters, rescue some damsels. You know, heroic stuff.”

60.   “Big tough town. Good place to start building a rep.”

61.   “Sounds like your basic D.I.D, damsel in distress.”

62.   “I like ‘em fiery.”

63.   “Remember, kid. First, analyze the situation. Don’t just barrel in there without thinking.”

64.   “I’m a damsel. I’m in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.”

65.   “Rule number fifteen. A hero is only as good as his weapon!”

66.   “Not bad, kid. Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad.”

67.   “Is Wonderboy here for real?”

68.   “Next time don’t let your guard down because of a pair of big googoo eyes!”

69.   “Did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals?”

70.   “You know how men are. They think no means yes and get lost means take me, I’m yours.”

71.   “Thanks for everything. It’s been a real slice.”

72.   “I’ll be alright. I’m a big, tough girl. I can tie my own sandals and everything.”

73.   “She’s really something. A pain in the patella!”

74.   “I thought I smelled a rat.”

75.   “I gave it my best shot, but he made me an offer I had to refuse.”

76.   “So you took care of him, hm? Dead as a doornail. Weren’t those your exact words?”

77.   “I’m about to rearrange the cosmos and the one schmeil who can louse it up is walking around in the woods!”

78.   “We made him a mortal. That’s a good thing.”

79.   “One town, a million troubles.”

80.   “Stick with me, kid. This city is a dangerous place.”

81.   “Don’t make eye contact. People here are nuts.”

82.   “Trust me, kid, you’re gonna be just what the doctor ordered.”

83.   “It seems to me that what you folks need is a hero.”

84.   “Have you ever saved a town before?”

85.   “Don’t you pea-brains get it? This kid is the genuine article.”

86.   “We need a professional hero, not an amateur.”

87.   “How am I supposed to prove myself a hero if nobody will give me a chance?”

88.   “Jeepers, mister, you’re really strong.”

89.   “Stirring performance, boys. I was really moved.”

90.   “Two thumbs way, way up for our leading lady. What a dish. What a doll.”

91.   “Get out of there you big lug, while you still can.”

92.   “I hate to burst your bubble kid, but that ain’t applause.”

93.   “Lead with your left! No, your other left!”

94.   “I don’t think we covered this one in basic training!”

95.   “My favorite part of the game. Sudden death.”

96.   “You gotta admit, that was pretty heroic.”

97.   “I wonder if maybe I haven’t been throwing the right curves at him.”

98.   “See, he’s gotta have a weakness, because everybody’s got a weakness.”

99.   “I need someone who can handle him as a man.”

100. “Hey, I’ve sworn off man-handling.”

101. “That’s what you got into this jam in the first place.”

102. “You sell your soul to me to save your boyfriend’s life. And how does this creep thank you?”

103. “You give me the key to bringing down wonderbreath and I give you the thing that you crave most in the entire cosmos. Your freedom.”

104.  “You haven’t proven yourself a true hero.”

105.  “I’m afraid being famous isn’t the same as being a true hero.”

106.  “Look inside your heart.”

107.  “You wanna go to Olympus, don’t you?”

108.  “I seen ‘em all and I’m tellin’ you, you got somethin’ I never seen before.”

109.  “There is nothin’ you can’t do, kid.”

110.  “It’s alright. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.”

111.  “So this is what heroes do on their days off.”

112.  “You sound like you could use a day off.”

113.  “You know when I was a kid I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else.”

114.  “When I’m with you, I don’t feel so alone.”

115.  “You’re already on my list, so don’t make it worse.”

116.  “As for you, you bum, you’re going to the stadium and you’re gonna be put through the workout of your life.”

117.  “What’s the matter with me? You’d think a girl would learn.”

118.  “Get yourself another girl. I’m through.”

119.   “Read my lips. Forget it.”

120.  “Aren’t we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little detail? I own you!”

121.  “I know that dame was trouble. This is gonna break the kid’s heart.”

122.  “You hear that sound? That’s the sound of your freedom fluttering out the window forever.”

123.   “I can’t believe you’re getting so worked up about some guy.”

124.   “How can I come down there when I’m feeling so up?”

125.   “If it hadn’t been for you, I never would have met her. I owe you big time.”

126.   “More beautiful than Aphrodite?”

127.   “She’s a fraud! She’s been playing you for a sap!”

128.   “The point is I love her.”

129.   “I thought you were gonna be the all-time champ. Not the all-time chump.”

130.   “I would be eternally grateful if you would just take a day off from this hero business of yours.”

131.   “I do have a little leverage you might wanna know about.”

132.   “We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. Whattya say?”

133.    “People are gonna get hurt, aren’t they?”

134.    “Now you know how it feels to be just like everybody else. Isn’t it just peachy?”

135.     “Is she not a fabulous little actress?”

136.     “Our hero’s a zero.”

137.     “There’s a whole cosmos up there waiting for me with my name on it.”

138.     “What are you doing? Without your strength, you’ll be killed.”

139.     “What does he need me for when he’s got friends like you?”

140.      “If you don’t help him now, he’ll die.”

141.      “Giving up is for rookies.”

142.      “I came back cause I’m not quitting on you. I’m willing to go the distance. How ‘bout you?”

143.      “People always do crazy things when they’re in love.”

144.       “My intentions were pure! I really was attracted to you!”

145.      “At least I’ve got one swell consolation prize, a friend of yours who’s dying to see me.”

146.       “I’m sorry, kid. There’s some things you just can’t change.”

147.       “Well, well, well. It’s a small underworld after all.”

148.       “You like making deals. Take me in her place.”

149.        “You’ve done it! You’re a true hero!”

150.         “You were willing to risk your life to rescue this young woman.”

151.       “A true hero isn’t measure by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart.”

152.       “You’ll make one heck of a god.”

153.       “I wish to stay on earth with her. I finally know where I belong.”

[scrarefest]

It’s Friday Eve! We’re celebrating with another round of releases. Grab some popcorn and enjoy a nice break with these unique fics featuring business rivals, old flames, old friends, and feelings found inside a barn. The week is almost over, friends. You deserve it.

DAY 4 REVEALS

*

White Flag [Ted/Miguel - M - 8,080]

Ted chokes on his spit causing Miguel to glance up from his spot by the steamy bathroom doorway and nearly fall over in shock, it's a miracle he manages to keep a tight grip on his towel.

Ted's eyes bulge and his mouth gapes, he finds his pulse rocketing and then the heat of a full body blush as it washes over him. What the hell is going on? Why is his business rival half naked in his hotel room? And more importantly.. how the hell is he more ripped than Ted is?

*

left unsaid [Jake/Mutt - T - 5,874]

A day in the barn life, feat. various plants, oppressive summer heat, and Mutt quietly having emotions about literally everything.

*

I Can’t Stand the Rain(e) [David/Jake - T - 5,323]

David could go to the store, but he’d already told Patrick he won’t be there today. The café is out, too, and so is just taking a walk around town, for the same reasons—he might run into Patrick, or Stevie, or, god forbid, Sebastien. None of his usual options are going to work today, but if he doesn’t do something to get out and distract himself, he’s pretty sure he’s going to lose his fucking mind and end up locking himself in his mother’s closet.

He closes his eyes, focusing on his breathing again, and feeling his skin prickle with nervous energy. He flips through the mental Rolodex of limited distractions available to him without money, reliable means of transportation, or an elaborate disguise… and only one option comes to mind.

After beating Sebastien at his own game, David visits another former lover—but gets more than the simple distraction he was looking for.

*

Summer, Spring, Winter, or Fall: The Story of Two Unlikely Friends [Gen (Ray, Ronnie) - T - 3,322]

Ray and Ronnie's friendship through the years. That's it. That's the story.

*

i don’t know where i been lately, but now i’m alright [Gen (Patrick, Twyla) - T - 2751]

“Yeah, I’m new,” Patrick clarifies, “but I’ll be staying for a bit.”

“Well, then,” Twyla replies, flashing another winning smile as she grabs his soup bowl and empty beer glass, “welcome to Schitt’s Creek. Glad to have you here.”

“Thanks. Glad to be here.”

It’s not the truth, not by a long shot, but it’s further away from an outright lie than he expects.

*

the wedding planners [Stevie/Ruth, Gen (David, Mrs. Clancy) - G - 1,304]

David: I can’t believe you and Ruth eloped Stevie: Are you actually mad that we eloped or that we didn’t tell you about it David: Honestly I’m running on so much adrenaline it feels like kind of both David: like equally Stevie: If it helps Ruth’s mom is yelling at her right now, because she didn’t tell her family either David: ... David: Actually yes, that does help thank you

-

Or, David and Ruth's mom plan Stevie and Ruth's wedding part 2.

*

[Podfic] The Seven Husbands of Alexis Rose [Alexis/Twyla - T - 1:58:39]

My name is Alexis Rose. But you knew that already, didn't you?

There's no need for shyness. You don't need to pretend that you didn't Google me before you read this article, or that you don't know who I am. I shouldn't misspeak, though: you think you know who I am. You have an idea of who Alexis Rose is.

Maybe you've never seen any of my movies. Maybe you think I'm washed up, someone only your parents care about. Maybe you think I'm irrelevant. Maybe you think I'm a whore.

Oh, don't duck your head. I guarantee you're not the first person to ever let that idea enter your mind, and you won't be the last.

In 2015, Alexis Rose pens a tell-all for Vogue, promising to finally tell the truth about all seven of those infamous husbands and then some…

CREATORS: If your works were released today, please don't forget to update your posting date!

[jungle-angel]

Trick Or Treat Halloween Prompts

Well, it’s that time of the year again guys and no I’m not talking about my brain running its mouth at 3am (although that has been happening a little more often than I’d like it to). I’m talking about fall being in full swing with one of my favorite holidays being right around the corner and all the candy you can eat!!! Taking requests for the usual fandoms, Top Gun Maverick, Outer Range, Bad Times at the El Royale, Salem’s Lot (pretty much any of Lewis’s characters as well). 

1. “How is this kid not dead from the sugar high?” 

2. “Just a few more stitches and the costume will be done”

3. “Don’t even think about touching those! Those are for the Halloween party later”

4. Scaring the shit out of the school bullies during the haunted hayride

5. Raiding the kids candy stash the day after

6. “You sure you wanna see that movie at the drive in?” 

7. What are they, their s.o or their kids going as for Halloween?

8. Favorite candy

9. Haunted Hotel

10. Couples contest

11. “We made mummies at school!!!” 

12. Hogwarts AU

13. “Who’s been feeding the bats again?”

14. “This wouldn’t be the first time Whipstaff Manor has had a Halloween party” 

15. Baby’s first Halloween

16. Halloween Party by the bonfire

17. Masquerade at The Haunted Mansion

18. Jack o Lanterns in the graveyard

19. “You should’ve seen their face when we jumped out at her” 

20. “Somehow I can’t help but think that lighting a black flame candle on Halloween night is a bad idea” 

21. “Their teacher had better not bitch about the kids Halloween costumes” 

22. “Oh, good to see you, but if you’re here then who’s guarding Hades?” 

23. “There’s no way I’m going in there!!!!”

24. Son of a witch

25. “Oh man you look so sexy in that costume” (leads to smut)

26. Spell books/spellcasting

27. “What happens if you say Beetlejuice three times?” 

28. Mad Scientist’s Laboratory

29. “Our neighbors are starting to remind me of those creeps in The Burbs” 

30. Rear Window/Hitchcock film AU

31. Vampire/werewolf lovers AU

32. “That scarecrow wasn’t talking a minute ago......” 

33. The kids reading all the Goosebumps books to annoy the old, bitchy town hag

34. A black cat/dog becoming the familiar of their s.o

35. A boarding house/hotel for monsters (Hotel Transylvania AU)

36. Halloween decorations the kids made at school

37. Witch’s brew

38. “This is starting to feel more and more like Scooby Doo now that I think about it” 

39. “C’mon, this is the one day out of the year I can scare people and I’ll look like a normal person for it” 

40. “Everything smells like pumpkin spice” 

41. “You were my treat this year”

42. “We’ve got about an hour and a half before the kids come home, lets watch a scary movie” 

43. “This place is so creepy” 

44. “IT’S ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!” 

45. Watching “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” with their s.o or the kids

46.  A school for monsters, witches, wizards and ghosts

47. “Will you be the Jack to my Sally?” 

48. Playing “Master of Puppets” on the rooftop of a haunted house to scare away vampires

49. Dancing in the Moonlight

50. Halloween barn dance