#don’t really like when they’re like. just animals that exist in the world cause generally that’s not that cool

[vonkarma2]

going to get crucified for admitting I actually don’t like most portrayals of dragons in fantasy

[aesethewitch]

Ghosts 101

Spirit work has always been the ultimate base of my spiritual and magical practices. Some of my earliest clear memories are of encounters with spirits, and I’ve always had a talent for sensing them. In a horror movie setting, I’d be that person who gets the weird feeling in the hallway right before all the doors slam shut at once, feeling the shift in the air before whatever ghoul’s around makes its mischief.

I mention this right out of the gate so that you, the reader, know that most of what I know about ghosts (and spirits in general) comes from personal experience. Not books, not videos, not other people’s work. There’s a lot of UPG in this little essay. Just keep that in mind as you read.

If there’s something you disagree with or have different experiences with, I’m not surprised! Everything in the realm of spirits, including ghosts, can really only be theorized about. Disagreeing opinions, experiences, and theories are very, very welcome. Drop ‘em in the replies, reblogs, or my inbox. Or, if you want, make a post of your own and tag me in it. I want to see them!

Anyways, with that lengthy UPG disclaimer out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff.

What is a Ghost?

I think it’s important to note, though kind of obvious, that ghosts are a sub-category of spirit. All ghosts are spirits, but not all spirits are ghosts. But what is a ghost, exactly?

As with most things, theories differ. In general, ghosts are thought to be… well, dead people. Some folks think that ghosts are the soul, essence, or spirit of a person who has died. Others believe that ghosts are just a fragment of a person’s spirit. But I’ve also seen theories stating that ghosts aren’t really ghosts, they’re echoes or imprints of human energy that once existed in a place.

Then, there are folks who think ghosts don’t exist at all. I can’t really blame them; empirical, repeatable proof of ghosts is tough to get in order to be satisfying in a scientific way. The only reason I personally believe in ghosts is because I’ve had several encounters that can’t otherwise be explained. Plus, for me, it goes hand-in-hand with other types of spirit work. Ghosts being real just makes sense with the framework I use to engage with the world.

So, obviously, there isn’t one single, concrete answer as to what a ghost is. We can only theorize.

My Theories

My personal theory aligns more or less with one of the more common theories. I think that ghosts are the lingering spirits of living beings who have died. Note I say living beings — some people think that only humans can become ghosts, but I think that any living thing can become one. In the case of plants and trees, ghosts behave somewhat differently than animals; but that’s a whole other conversation to be had. For the sake of this post, I plan on focusing mainly on human ghosts.

The way I understand it, ghosts are the whole, complete essence of a person that lingers in the physical realm for a time after their physical body no longer functions. I believe there are also energetic imprints — energy left over from the living, often (but not always) caused and fueled by strong emotions and lingering ties of memory in a place. These imprints can seem like a haunting, but the key difference is that they aren’t sentient. They may echo when you call, but they won’t give answers that are intelligent or timely according to questions asked or stimulus provided by the living. Sort of like recording a ringing bell; playing the bell’s chime back doesn’t ring the bell again. It just plays the sound it knows.

Now, death does funny things to the mind. Depending on the circumstances of the death, a ghost might have full awareness that they were alive, have died, and are now a ghost. I find this is most common for people who died of old age and long-term diseases: people who knew they were nearing the end, for one reason or another.

Ghosts formed from more sudden deaths, on the other hand, are likelier to not know what happened. They may figure it out given time, or they may never learn the truth. As with most other things dealing with individuals, the exact circumstances vary. No two ghosts are exactly the same. Some people don’t become ghosts at all, I’ve found! They simply move on.

Another important aspect of my theories on ghosts is that I think they fade. Unless they’re continually tied to a space, fed a steady supply of energy, and purposely kept in the physical realm, I believe that they can’t sustain a form here. Without a physical body to keep the spirit, soul, consciousness, or whatever we are, a ghost is gradually pulled into the more ethereal side of things. The astral plane, the other side, the afterlife, et cetera; I’m not sure, personally, where they end up. Maybe it depends on what they were attached to in life, maybe it doesn’t. Who knows!

I think this is where I draw the distinction between ghosts and ancestor spirits. “Ancestor spirits,” in my practice, aren’t individual people from my past. Rather, they’re a sort of collective consciousness made up of all the people who came before me who are connected to me through familial, cultural, and blood ties. I like to believe that ghosts become part of that collective when they fade out of the physical world. All this is to say, ghosts are just people who are dead. They won’t be around forever unless they’re bound and kept “fed.”

On Hauntings

The first half of the things everyone wants to know is: How do we know when a ghost is actually present? It’s a good question, one that’s hotly debated in ghost hunting circles. For the sake of argument, I think we need to define the word haunting first.

To be clear, a haunting isn’t just when a ghost is present. A ghost just passing through or lingering for a little while doesn’t necessarily make a haunting. That would be better described as a presence. A haunting, in my opinion, is a long-term, sustained presence of a ghost or imprint.

And the first step to dealing with a haunting is to determine whether the place you’re in is actually haunted. You don’t have to have super sensitive psychic powers to detect the presence of ghosts. Some folks might have an easier time of it than others, but anyone can learn how to discern when a ghost is hanging around.

It’s important to note that commonly-reported signs of ghost presences and hauntings are also symptoms of other issues like mold, electrical issues, pressure changes, carbon monoxide, stress and anxiety, noisy neighbors, animals outside or in the walls (including bugs), sleep apnea or insomnia, and more. It’s important to consider mundane reasons before leaping to magical, spiritual, or ghostly ones.

With that in mind, let’s say that you’ve ruled out all the mundane possibilities, and you’re still left wondering whether that place is capital-H Haunted. How can you tell?

In my experience, there are a few signs that will stick out:

Disembodied sounds, such as voices, knocking, and walking

A pervasive chill or prickling feeling, particularly on parts of the body that are covered

A feeling of being touched, poked, or prodded

Visual disturbances like mist or shadows

Sudden smells that can’t be explained, such as perfume, tobacco, or food

Batteries in things like phones and cameras draining very quickly

Now, note that even with these signs, a lot of these things can happen with spirits that aren’t ghosts. The only way to know for absolutely sure that you’re dealing with a ghost and not a mischievous, physical-realm-poking non-human spirit is to make contact and ask.

My fellow sensitive individuals may experience other signs during a haunting. Depending on where your abilities lie, you might experience stronger sensations or detect signs of a haunting earlier than others who haven’t trained these senses.

What Causes a Haunting?

It’s hard to say. Some people (particularly ghost hunters with big TV shows who need to make those viewer numbers go up) say that ghosts stick around because they’re pissed off or had some tragedy befall them in life. Trauma ties them to their surroundings, trapping them between life and death as a specter, or something like that.

Honestly, all that tells me is that these guys are trying to sell you something (their show). I’ve met maybe two ghosts that were like that, and they had extremely good reasons for it. That’s not to say there aren’t traumatized ghosts out there; just that they aren’t nearly as common or the only explanation for a haunting.

I’m personally not sure what causes some ghosts to linger over others. I think it does partly have to do with emotion, but it may also have to do with the amount of energy the person had left when they died. For example, the ghost of my great-aunt faded within a couple weeks after she died, because she was old, tired, and ready. On the other hand, the ghost of a guy I went to school with who died in an accident a few years ago is still lingering on the train tracks where it happened. It’s an extremely individual thing.

Another part of lingering ghosts and hauntings, I think, is interaction with the living. Without a physical body, the ghost has no native source of energy. Part of working with ghosts, for me, has been learning how to share energy (mine or from other sources) with ghosts to help them communicate, interact, and continue existing. When the energy runs out, they fade. With a steady supply of energy sources, a ghost could theoretically haunt a place indefinitely.

So, what causes a haunting? I don’t really know for sure! What causes a haunting to linger? A steady source of energy, I think.

Making Contact

So, you want to talk to a ghost. Cool! You’ve got a ton of options at your disposal.

There are the witch-typical methods of spirit communication, most of which would work fairly well for talking to ghosts. I’ve talked a little bit about spirit communication methods before in a more general sense, but I find that ghosts don’t always respond well to divination.

In my experience, simpler tools are better. Unless I knew for a fact that a person understood tarot in life, I would be unlikely to use it to talk to their ghost. Tools you can easily explain that provide clear answers would likely serve you best for most ghosts. My biggest suggestions are pendulums, which are easy for ghosts to understand and manipulate, and ouija boards. Yes, yes, I can hear the gasping and booing already.

Listen. Ouija boards are not evil. Ouija is a game. But talking boards really are good tools for talking to ghosts. Again, they’re easy to understand and manipulate. Plus, you can get really clear answers from a talking board if your ghost is chatty.

There are other tools that have been popularized by ghost hunters that may come in handy, too. Personally, I’ve had success with voice recorders catching EVP (electronic voice phenomena) and, on one notable occasion, a ghost box.

Honestly, I’ve had little use for tools like these outside of ghost hunting scenarios where we’re trying to prove ghosts’ existence in a scientific sense. Voice recorders catching wisps of voice in the background are super cool, and I definitely would suggest having one on hand when doing a ghost adventure. But they’re not great for in the moment communication, since you have to stop a recording to listen back to it and then react who knows how long later.

Where ghost boxes are concerned, I’ve only had the one opportunity to try it out. We were in a location I knew to be haunted thanks to previous visits, and it did seem to work okay. I’d like to try it again sometime to see if it was just a fluke or if it’s an actual, viable thing to use. With any tool commonly used in ghost hunting TV shows (or that’s otherwise Popular By Spectacle), I always approach with serious skepticism. Those shows are all about creating a reaction that can be captured; and when they don’t receive a response, they’re liable to make shit up for the cameras. It’s annoying, especially when a tool might really be useful but it’s shrouded in the very necessary skepticism around these shows.

Now, my personal go-to method to connect to ghosts is to just… talk to them. I don’t usually need to use any tools for it. But I’ve spent many, many, many years honing the skills needed to do this. It’s worth learning how to do if you plan on working with spirits, but it does take effort to get good at, even if you have an innate talent for it. If you can, take some time to develop a sense for spirits. Learn what spiritual presences feel like for you. You may not get immediate results at first, but the skill of sensing energy can apply across the board. And even if you get no “real” response, you can still talk to the ghosts.

When you go to communicate with a ghost, just remember that they’re still a person. They’re not a spectacle, though they are fascinating. Not all ghosts are going to want to talk to you. Not all ghosts are going to like you. Be respectful. Treat that ghost like you’d treat any stranger out in the wild. Don’t be an asshole.

On Mediumship

This is mostly just a brief note, since it’s an adjacent topic that I’ve gotten questions about before.

Not everyone who talks to or works with ghosts is a medium. A medium is a particular career or path that describes someone who acts as a connector between the living and the dead. I tend to think of mediums as the telephone in a conversation — relaying messages back and forth. I used to do medium work all the time. It’s an exhausting path that requires a lot of self-discipline and solid boundaries dealing with both the living and the dead. I don’t do it anymore, though I do still communicate and work with ghosts regularly.

Just keep in mind that you don’t have to take on the title or mantle of “medium” in order to talk to, work with, or research ghosts.

Ghostly Q&A

I received a handful of questions about ghosts in the run up to posting this; thank you everyone who sent in a question! If you’ve got a question and want my perspective on it, feel free to drop it in my inbox or in the replies/reblogs of this post.

From @moonmargaritas: “How do you tell the difference between nervousness at discerning the presence of a ghost (new practitioner who still gets jitters 🤙) and sensing actual hostile intent?”

This is a really great question! This is something I had to work through myself when I got started. And honestly, I still get jitters sometimes many years later! It can be scary, even when you’re used to it.

The biggest piece of advice I have is to learn how your body experiences nervousness or anxiety. Where does that sit in your body? What kind of feelings to you experience?

For me, nervousness is a sort of itchy tingling around my shoulders and tightness around my ribs. It also manifests as the feeling of being watched or observed too closely. It’s easy to misattribute those feelings to a ghost’s presence — tingling and feeling like something’s watching? Those are classic ghost interactions! But I know that’s what anxiety feels like. That’s how I feel when the lights go out too fast or I hear a branch snap in the distance.

Once you know, you can work past those feelings and focus on what’s actually happening with the ghost (or spirit). I think of it like knowing when someone’s mad at me. Are they mad, or am I just anxious? It’s the same idea.

And, as a note, ghosts with hostile intent are few and far between. I personally don’t think that most ghosts, even the nastiest ghosts, can actually hurt you; they don’t have the energy resources for it. The ones that do are obvious, and you won't really have to question their intentions. However, you can always work with the communication methods mentioned above to determine the ghost’s feelings and intents. If you’re worried about negative interactions, a bit of salt and rosemary in a little pouch placed in your pocket goes a long way for protection.

From anonymous: “What’s an unusual way people could use to communicate with spirits? Like an expected divination tool or something we should pay more attention to.”

Hmmmm! Honestly, I think that classic, actual call and response is underrated specifically when it comes to ghosts. Yeah, we’ve all seen the Ghost TV Guys call out for a knock or a word or whatever, but when they get a response, they wig out and don’t do anything with it. It’s annoying!! Because genuinely, saying “tap once for yes, twice for no” and asking questions is a really, really solid way to communicate with a ghost when you have no other tools that will work on hand. I’ve had ghosts lead me to important places and objects within houses doing this. I think more people should give it a try without falling prey to the over-the-top reaction of “DID YOU HEAR THAT?!”

From anonymous: What advice would you give someone dealing with a haunting?

For a run-of-the-mill, regular old haunting? Let it run its course. Most hauntings, when left alone, will fade. However, if you’re inclined to talk to the ghost(s), get them to leave quicker, or get them to be less intrusive in your life, there are a few things you could do.

To talk to them, choose a method of communication and try to reach out like I described above. Get to know them if you can, and set some ground rules. If they won’t (or can’t) communicate with you, and you really want them gone, I would probably recommend a gentle banishing ritual. Something that doesn’t scream “get out” so much as kindly say, “It’s time to move on.”

Or, if you don’t want the ghost gone, just a little quieter at night or out of your bedroom, you could set up wards or activity-dampeners around specific spaces. Choose ingredients and spells that protect against unwanted spirits or just unwanted activity. Keep it activated all day long or just at night while you’re trying to sleep.

Thanks for Reading!

Posts like this are usually put on my Ko-Fi as exclusives first, but since the questions in this one came from Tumblr, I decided to post it in both places at once! (:

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If you've got Ghost Questions, shoot 'em my way! My inbox is open.

[graceofagodswrath]

Ok ok ok your "Humans of Transformers franchise are space orcs" rant is out of this world.

I detest with passion when humans are reduced to pets and plot devices when instead the story could be about two alien species finding one another equally amazing/terrifying for their own respective reasons.

Here is my question: do humans and Cybertronians see how eerily similar they are? They have love of music, familial relationships, similar urban infrastructure, societal structure, financial systems, competitive entertainment, organized societies and war, colonialism, recreational intercourse, marriage...

Not to mention, why was it never addressed how similar both species look: bipedal, waists, noses, cheekbones, 5 fingers, chins, facial expressions and sense of aesthetics and beauty? Sure, humans have hair but in rather strategic places.

Veins and wires, blood and energon, metal and flesh, nanobytes and blood cells, Sparks and brain impulses, sexual organs...

Imagine Autobots arrive on Earth for the first time expecting some primitive cave-dwellers, only to encounter a less advanced mini-version of Cybertronian cities (New York, Singapore, London, Rome, Tokyo, Rio, Dubai...) and societies running on scientific, artistic and philosophical development which has no right existing on the ruthless, all-organic planet such as Earth is. Societes run by creatures who 4.000.000 (the duration of their war) years ago were hanging from the trees btw.

Autobots would be terrified.

Lemme make sure this response saves this time, cause it took me a minute to answer cause my first deleted and I had so much written I got unbelievably angry and refused to even look at the tumblr app.

But here we are.

So, this is EXACTLY what I have been thinking about for who k owe how long. It’s also the intro to this wack as fuck universe idea I’ve had in my head a while, and have kinda hinted at in my other works, but I’ve never gone into detail about.

And I still won’t.

Anyways, yes. It’s crazy that we backlit humans so much when any other sentient species is about. Transformers, TMNT, etc (I’m on a one track mind, feel free to jot down any other fandoms I can’t think of). The main theme of these stories? HUMANS SUCK. And that is severely unfair. People want to cry about how much our generation doesn’t give a shit anymore. Have you SEEN the media we feed kids???

That’s why I live Humans are Space Orcs so much. It really puts into perspective how unique and batshit our species is.

So, onto the Transformers vs humans concepts. The ONLY reason (forgoing technoism and general hate towards organics) cybertronians don’t see humanity as an imminent threat, or one in general, is because of size. WE BE SMALL AF. Can’t blame them, I get it. We do the same. Insects? Fuck them mfs.

But have you seen a botfly or tick burrow into your skin? The infection that comes form that? Have you seen ants jump a small animal as a colony and absolutely shred it? Or a spider only biting you, and the horror the venom causes (recluses and huntsman’s specifically). We have a good fucking reason for disliking these mfs.

But transformers? These are organic experiences. Worst they go through are rust infections, spark death, the works. They are not at risk the same way we are. That is why they view organics as small and inconsequential. They have no idea how hard we fight to simply stay alive.

And now the similarities. It’s understandable that they wouldn’t immediately recognize the physical, cultural, and psychological similarities between our species. Transformers are an incredibly diverse race, like any other. But specifically in physical form. Your average cybertronian holds a similar appearance to your average human. We tend to have the same features, just with different names. Eyes, noses, faceplates, ears, two arms, two legs. Sure that’s average for them too. But they are unique because of the fact that they have two forms. Vehicle mode. Their mode decides what they’re second mode looks like, which can create extreme diversity is appearance. Small, large, many limbed or not.

So the immediate similarities probably wouldn’t jump out to them in an odd way. There’s also the idea that because they’re so spread out in the universe, they’ve seen other organic races that are also similar. Pairs of every body part could be the common denominator among species.

That goes culturally too. War, love, music, government, politics, it’s all a natural form of sentient evolution. Another common denominator. It’s how it’s done that makes it unique. And the similarities between human and cybertronian culture is uncomfortably familiar.

I think that’s why cybertronians are seen being closest with humans rather than other species in the shows and comics (obviously because the audience is human and they need relation to characters but shhhh forget that for a sec). This is where the theories start.

Let’s say cybertronians begin to recognize the weird similarities between our species. The really, really weird stuff. The itty bitty details. Like:

- how we also mainstream kissing on the lips as the top tier romantic gesture.

- use verbal tone and cues for our language.

- have intensely complicated interpersonal relationships in the exact same manner.

- suffer from extreme mental health issues like depression, anxiety, PTSD (I totally headcannon that forms of adhd, autism, and ocd exist in cybertronian society, have y’all not seen my boy rodimus prime??)

- will also destroy each other in the name of our gods, until we have a common enemy.

That’s just the basics I could come up with. The only time I actually saw a moment where a transformer genuinely take a moment to realize that humans can be a threat, was in transformers prime. Episode 6 of beast wars (I think, correct me if wrong), where Miko beats the ever loving fuck out of an insecticon (I think) and upon Megatron hearing this, just goes blank Kubrick stare for a hot second. Man had an ugly realization that did not fit in with anything he had experienced his whole life.

AND THEY NEVER FUCKING ADDRESSED IT EVER AGAIN. Sick of this shit. Could’ve had the most badass character development, where the humans actually proved useful and did something (it would have fit Milo’s character so perfectly too) and scared the utter shit out of the transformers. BUT NO. They continue to be annoying as fuck.

One thing I loved about TF Prime was that it canonically turned Unicron into Earth. And humans came from the earth. Which relates humans beings and cybertronians so hard. Cousins Fr. We are the cybertronian equivalent of organics, and transformers the inorganic equivalent of humans. The individuality, the chaos, the culture, it clicks. There is so much material to really go into it.

But they never do. Don’t get me wrong, I love Transformers lord and just discovering more without humans being involved. We’re just annoying af at this point. But there is so much u tapped potential in transformers actually taking the chance to LEARN about us. But we’re just friends (pets) to these mfs.

That’s why I love TF Earthspark so far. Transformers ingrained into human culture because they’re not from Cybertron, and cybertronians having to adapt to human culture because they have no where else to go. Granted, it’s a kids show. There’s only so much they can do. But I’m excited for where it’ll lead. It really shows how much of threat and ally humans are, and how we are just as diverse as cybertronians.

I need to write another fic about cybertronians meeting humans their size from our world tho. Need to continue my old piece. Would give me so much life. Y’all help motivate me, college draining my ass.

[ms-scarletwings]

Endearing through the Alien Lens: A Clue About the Primitive Irken?

I love literary xenobiology. I love it a whole lot, in fact. There’s a paradoxical line I dance across, between criticizing intelligent fictional aliens for their likeness to our species, and criticizing them for their unlikeness. It’s a pretentious and laughable dance between “Come on, the sky’s the limit, there’s no real reason for a bucket of different extraterrestrial races to just all be more flavors of quirky humanoids! Boring, show me something actually alien!!” and the yearn for the use of alien races as a funhouse mirror of mankind’s own evolution. I think the way Irkens nonchalantly dwell somewhere on that subjective tightrope is a good part of why I can’t seem to stop thinking about them.

They are inspired and yet creatively original. They are truly alien, and yet, they can still play foil to the bottomlessly decadent humanity that Vasquez’s Earth has set the stage for.

Before, in the very first brain dump I let loose about them, I noted a few of their parallels to the worst in Homo sapiens and the insects they resemble. This time, something is chewing on me that i haven’t seen another put into perspective. A something that seems contradictory to our collective view of the heartless, sexless, atomized conquerors that all of the cosmos will fear:

They… have parental instincts.

I didn’t necessarily say drives or wants; however, they undeniably havewhat seems to be an actual, instinctual “cuteness response”. Like us, like social pack animals which invest a great deal of resources and time into their young. Given that the closest thing that 100% of smeets born on the home world get to call a parental figure is a literal cold, unfeeling, automated machine, this seems kind of weird, doesn’t it? They’re not even born like mammals or nested like birds, they’re mass produced, like hived wasps or ants, miles beneath their actual society and out of the business of the adults. So, what the heck with them being written to be humanized with this baseless, arbitrary trait?

But, ah ah ah, nitpicker Scarlet, it’s not baseless. It’s only ✨vestigial✨

Y’all could probably make a good guess to what the cuteness response is and why it exists in Homo sapiens, but to sum up- it’s the phenomenon of when we see something we find “cute” and it makes us react to it in a protective, nurturing fashion- or also want to bite/squeeze things, weirdly, if it’s just too damn cute. Well, what do humans find cute? Things that resemble human infants, basically. It’s a biological reflex that makes us want to defend and provide care for our kind’s absurdly dependent and slow-developing young, rather than abandon them in the shrubbery like they’re just screamy, food-leeching paperweights.

“Pff, really? Well I must be special cause I don’t even LIKE babies. I think babies are icky gross, not cute! So, genetic instinct my ass!”

I hear you, sure, but what about… harp seals? Or koalas, or pandas and puppies and fawns and kittens? Or funny little cartoon blorbos? At bare minimum you’d have to be an alien yourself to feel nothing looking at photos of young hedgehogs

See, the fact that a lot of us may often find baby animals a great amount more endearing than even humans’ is not even in conflict with this understanding of cuteness.

The concept of the “baby schema” was formally proposed in 1943 by Konrad Lorenz, an Austrian ethologist. Fun fact is he was also the same researcher who originally observed and described imprinting behaviors, as seen in newly hatched waterfowl. Point is that his “Kindchenschema” idea grouped together a handful of infantile traits that make fireworks go off in the parts of your brain that wants to keep things alive and baby-talk to them. Included on the list were features like proportionally large heads, big eyes, round faces, short noses, etc. despite the name, the baby schema’s effect is something applied not to just actual babies, but children generally, and even in our reactions to non-human animals.

It’s the hypothesis behind both why we’ve jacked up the skulls of so many small dog breeds in the name of aesthetics and why we generally find the portraits on the left side of this image more appealing to look at than the ones on the right.

The consistency of these features across many species may also give some hint that they experience a similar phenonemon, especially given that these are traits shared among bird or mammalian offspring which require significant attention and protection to survive. And, it may also explain why this image likewise gives me a huge dose of that sweet, sweet response.

Awww, look at that lil’ mans! Look at his teeny noodle arms!! I just wanna pinch him like a marshmallow!

YOU are not immune to cuteness psychology, and neither are the proud Irken warriors. I’m going to cite Zim’s proclivity to what I can only describe as paternal bonding as a demonstration of this response, but before you go reminding me about his pak defects, it’s far from the only evidence that this is a natural Irken trait.

Check out little Timmy (importantly, the surrounding response to him), a hilariously out of place youngster who appeared briefly in the trial transcript for the sole purpose of a dark gag and to get us some lore revealed.

Take further note of the complimentary nature of smeets themselves.

Suddenly finding themselves alive, fresh Irken babies too, like the hatched gosling, begin to immediately seek an emotional attachment with the first animate thing they see. While mobile and fast learners, smeets are far from being able to truly fend for themselves. They’re tiny and naive and they need lots of mental enrichment/teaching. They also play and form something akin to friendships, much like human children. In the bygone era before Irkens were so reliant on Paks and all of the advanced technology of the modern empire, smeets would have been exceedingly vulnerable. All signs point to a phase in Irk’s natural history where they were once nurtured after by adults of their own kind, and commonly bonded with their caretakers. This could mean compact family units, or maybe even a communal raising situation, akin to penguin crèches (Personally I like to headcanon that the tallests/queens were traditionally the only breeding members of the population but that’s neither here or now). Either sense, the evolutionary remnants of a parental creature are still around.

Taking all that to note, instead of perceiving Zim as the bizarre outlier to the Irken condition when it comes to having this soft spot, I instead see him as an opportunity to see natural behaviors in action without the suppression of his militarized society and its distractions. Even someone as warped and selfish as he can be is still very, very full of love to give that he doesn’t even understand enough language to describe. He pretty clearly shows he has no cultural understanding or reference of cuteness, and still, he’s not so different in this “weakness” than the very humans he manipulated into fawning over Ultra Peepi. It just took an example his own sensibilities could relate to instead of an unfamiliar, repulsive alien rodent.

And when he’s given the rare circumstance to show that potential, well-

*(With the rough shape/size down, no nose, and huge, bug-like eyes, Li’l Meat man may actually be a great approximation of the key “smeet schema” features. More importantly, it was made to specifically resemble Zim himself)

- I feel that’s downright adorable.

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

Religion in Rohan

On the recommendation of @sotwk and on the off chance that others find this interesting or useful, here is another summary of some of the background head canons that support how I think of Rohan when I'm writing stories set there. This one is about religion, for lack of a better term, and covers at a high level what they think about gods, the afterlife, etc. and the influence of that on their culture. I fine-tuned some of this recently as part of a back-and-forth with others, and it's (hopefully?) more interesting than my pages of thoughts about changes in Rohan's horse breeding economy over time (the TL;DR there is that Théoden’s grandfather created crown-sponsored horse breeding enterprises to better supply the expanding army, but that ended up forcing some of the traditional horse breeding families into poverty)! Anywho...

Most of what we know about the religious history of Middle Earth (the full Silmarillion-style recounting of Eru, the Valar, the making of the world, etc.) comes via the elves and Númenóreans. But the Northmen ancestors of the Rohirrim didn’t really interact much with these groups, and so their knowledge of that history was limited to what they directly experienced themselves or what filtered through to them in sometimes irregular ways. This means their belief system, which is what became the Rohirrim belief system, is a mix of those Silmarillion-style ideas plus concepts they picked up in other places and some homegrown beliefs and practices. 

For example, the Rohirrim don’t make a real distinction between Eru and the Valar. To them, they’re all “the gods” who made the world and are of roughly equal power and importance (though they are particularly attached to one as further discussed below). 

They also recognize fewer of the Valar than others do, having a stripped down set of 7 associated with earth, sky, water, plants/animals, battle/protection, weather, and all things to do with the spirit/soul (roughly corresponding to the Silm’s Aulë, Varda, Ulmo, Yavanna, Oromë, Vána and Eru). The compression of all the spirit-based Valar into just one likely happened because these Valar almost never left Valinor and so the evidence of their separate existence for those who had never been there was tenuous at best. Although the Rohirrim gods have spheres of influence as denoted above, the lines between these gods are porous and they might all be involved in anything. They also each have their own Rohirric names.

The Rohirrim don’t practice their beliefs in a form that is anything like organized religion – no formal rites, ceremonies, prayers, etc. They simply pass down beliefs from generation to generation, and individuals or families may all have different ways of expressing those beliefs (or may choose not to express them in any sense). The primary purpose of their beliefs is to explain the world as they see it around them (How was the world created? Where did this storm come from? etc.). People may appeal to a certain god for help in difficult times or they may give thanks to a god for luck or fortune, but they also believe direct, purposeful intervention by a god in the real world is extremely limited since the War of Wrath and the end of the First Age. This causes the Rohirrim to put a lot of weight on both living honorably and taking care of your community, because there probably is no god coming to help you – you can only help each other. 

Unlike the Gondorians, who think the ultimate fate of mortals beyond the world is unknown, the Rohirrim believe in a very specific afterlife. They believe the gods come to collect the dead and reunite them with their families so that they can “live” a second existence together with one another (the so-called “halls of our fathers”). Anyone who doesn’t deserve admittance to their family’s halls is put in service of the spirit/soul god until they’ve earned their honor back through deeds.

The Rohirrim are particularly attached to their god that is the Valar Oromë the huntsman, who they call Béma and associate with both battle and protection. He was a great favorite of the Northmen, and this connection was passed on through time to the Rohirrim. 

They believe that, just as he did for the earliest elves, Béma rode among early men. They don’t care that the elves and Gondorians don’t believe this happened; they will not be swayed and say that he came in disguise, which is why others didn’t recognize him. They further believe that Béma chose their ancestors among early men to be his loyal foot soldiers in the fight against the evil creatures of the world. He asked for their aid, and they granted it. This established a firm belief among them that coming to the aid of an ally against evil is a sacred duty, never to be refused or ignored when requested in good faith.

As his allies, Béma bestowed horses on them, and the most treasured and best of those horses (the mearas) are thought to be descendants of Béma’s own horse, Hnaegan (whose elvish name, Nahar, is meant to evoke the sound of neighing and so the Rohirrim call him by the Rohirric word for “neigh”). Because Béma always hunted and fought on horseback and usually announced his arrival through the blowing of his great horn, the Rohirrim inherited these same practices from their ancestors.

Béma also influenced the disposition of the people, who adopted his very stern personality and his tendency to pursue thankless duty with grim determination. Showing Béma-like strength and persistence in the face of insurmountable odds is considered one of the very highest demonstrations of character in Rohan, akin to a religious virtue.

While their reverence for Béma shaped many significant elements of Rohirric culture and identity, they also ask/hope for his intervention in times of crisis. As a huntsman, they leave him small offerings of spear heads or bridle bits when they most hope that he will come to their aid, and the phrases “Béma protect us” or “thank Béma” are common parts of the lexicon – as noted above, they don’t necessarily *expect* Béma will show up and intervene, but it doesn’t hurt to ask!

Although their focus is Béma, the Rohirrim also give some primacy of place to his wife, whose name is Vána in the Silmarillion and is called Ácith in Rohan as the rough translation of her epithet “Ever-young”. She’s associated with the weather and turning of the seasons. Much like the other peoples of Middle Earth, the Rohirrim say that flowers bloom in Ácith’s wake as she walks through the world, which she does at the end of each winter to usher in the spring. The Rohirrim also believe that the consistent and otherwise unexplained appearance of simbelmynë on their graves is evidence that Ácith has been there to personally escort the dead to the halls of their fathers. The Rohirric expression that someone “went with Ácith” means that they died.

Other common Rohirric expressions with religious roots: “the light of Hnaegan” (a sign of hope in a bad situation, deriving from the sparks of light that came from Nahar’s golden hooves and were the first light in the world after Morgoth killed the trees); “you’re going to hear Béma’s horn” (you really fucked up and are about to experience someone’s wrath); and “to earn the hall” (doing something good and honorable that would earn your place in the afterlife halls of your fathers).

[feral-mouse]

So sorry for not getting to this sooner 😭. I'm not going to be answering all of the questions yet, but I did wanna still tackle some of the ones that won't be too much of a spoiler. I did appreciate the questions tho and honestly had a great time answering these 😊

I'm going to put the ones I've answered under the cut

What is he planning on doing after with the player in the endings that he keeps them? Has he kept other captives before? How does he treat his captives?

Honestly, I don’t even think Sable knows pdsjfsp. It was really a decision he made on a whim. The player was just too irresistible! He couldn’t just leave them there! MC is the first captive he’s ever taken, so he’s not particularly prepared to keep them, but he’s gonna try 👀💦 spdfjs

He’s honestly going to do his best to keep MC comfortable. You know, besides the whole “keeping their hands tied behind their back the entire time” thing lol. He’s definitely gonna have to buy some more things once the MC gets settled in, as well as a collar so MC doesn't have to be tied up in ropes the whole time. I can see him showering them with gifts. He’s gonna dress them up in so many cutesy outfits and bury them with plushes and blankets. And then sometimes, he will honestly mess with the MC and like, have the urge to torture them a bit just to see them squirm and squeal- but it’s fiiiiiine, they’re fiiiiine. They’re happy :)

What does his social circle look like? What people does he gravitate towards?

Sable doesn’t have any close friends, especially since he lives pretty out in the woods. That’s not going to stop him from venturing out into the city though. He NEEDS social interaction. He absolutely loves talking to new people and tends to gravitate towards people who are sociable like himself. That won’t stop him from talking to other people who are more shy, but generally he’s hanging out with the loudest people in the room.

Has he dated others before? What was/is he like in a relationship?

He has not dated anyone before, but if he was in a relationship, he would be extremely doting and protective. He is treating his partner like his best friend and like royalty. He is going to make sure that they are happy and comfy, even if he has to commit some crimes to do so. Lots of physical affection, loves to spend time with them. Wherever they go, he’s coming with (unless his partner tells him not to follow them, in which case he may just watch them from afar). He’s practically clinging to his partner 24/7.

Does he have obsessive or possessive tendencies and how strong are these traits?

Oh, he is super obsessive and possessive. He would definitely get jealous easily if MC interacts with anyone else other than him. He’ll try to control himself and behave so he doesn’t cause a scene, but if anyone hurts MC? 😬

When he deems someone as his, they are his. They would mean the world to him, and he would want to spend every moment with them. He’d definitely follow them around, and when/if he’s not near them, he is thinking about them, maybe clinging onto an old shirt they wore or hugging their pillow, breathing in their scent. If he could, he would love to just keep them all wrapped up in blankets in his home, but he understands that people need to go outside and that it’s good for their mental health, even if he’d rather not let them go outside lol.

Are animal-human hybrids common in his world or rare?

In my universe, beastkins aren’t necessarily rare, but they’re not too common either. To regular humans, magic and the supernatural don’t exist, including monsters and animal-human hybrids. The general consensus in the magic world is that you should hide these things from the general public, otherwise all hell will break loose. Sable is aware that he’s supposed to be hiding his ears and tail, but he could care less about that and thinks it’s a hassle.

What's his spice tolerance like and is he scared by dolls?

His spice tolerance is honestly right in the middle of the scale. He can definitely handle some spice, and does honestly enjoy spicy foods, but if something is too spicy for him, he is having a huge reaction lol. He’ll go back and forth between “no, that is too spicy, I can’t” and “well…. maybe just another bite-”. Even though he knows that his spice tolerance obviously isn’t the best, that’s not going to stop him from trying out spicier foods.

Dolls don’t scare him either, he thinks they’re pretty and cute 😊

[overthinkingtaleblr]

Hey. Having a bad week day right now and your blog is a huge comfort. Can I request some fluffy headcanons for PIE?

Of course! I'm a couple days late because I was swamped with work when the ask came in, but this has been living rent-free in my head for the past 24 hours. PIE has SO MUCH potential for headcanons, it would be amiss to not to touch on the softer side of things! I like to think that PIE was a turn for the better in all of their lives, and I do want to see them happy in spite of my open adoration of dramatics.

Time to let them be happy 🥺 I may have gotten carried away. Everything is under the cut! There are a LOT of words and I don’t expect everyone to read it all at once, it’s okay if it’s too much/you need to stop and come back to it later ^^;

Fluffy PIE Headcanons For The Soul (and Anon <3)

Personal Fluff

Colon actually didn’t believe in ghosts before his first mission with PIE. He just thought Ghost was interesting, and wanted to see what the job of a “paranormal investigator” entailed. He was already a bit of a hobbyist, reading some books about them for fun instead of thinking it was real. Since being introduced, he’s dived headfirst into exploring the paranormal and some types of magic. He feels like a whole new world has been opened up to him.

Colon loves the idea of being a parent some day and has done quite a bit of research to learn how to be properly responsible of children. He was considering being a teacher when he first entered college, but he preferred studying forensics to teaching it.

Because Colon is the only one of the team who has never met any of the other members of the team until adulthood, they don’t know anything about his family. Sometimes he just makes things up because he genuinely thinks they’re making things up with how crazy their families sound. They take him at face value.

Though he’s doing way better now that he’s older, Colon had some notable health issues while growing up, and is no stranger to hospitals and medical procedures. Taking care of his own health and taking note of his symptoms and what caused them has made him very good at giving advice when others are feeling sick, meaning he’s very on-top of making sure everyone is taking care of themselves (if they come to him first, he’s not here to pry). Especially Ghost.

Colon has a kind of beautiful and deep singing voice… but he only ever sings show tunes since he did a lot of theater growing up.

Ghost is usually very prickly, but gets more friendly to social and physical interactions when tired. This usually means he actually ends up more touch-friendly during all-night missions.

Growing up, Ghost’s dads taught him to sew and repair his own clothes when he was in middle school. Meaning in middle school and early high school, he had a variety of fun and interesting patches on his clothes.

Part of the reason why Ghost is so annoyed about being confused for the Ghostbusters is that he really feels like they “ruined” public perception of paranormal investigators in general. Despite his irritable nature, he’s aware that there is more to his job than deleting ghosts from existence and seeing every undead as a threat.

This is also why so much of the team’s tools and machines are home-constructed because he refuses to buy tools that the Ghostbusters sell or are associated with and they are kind of an industry giant. Also they were given some training by his dad but he likes to ignore that.

Ghost actually can read, he’s just super dyslexic and he’s basically decided he doesn’t even want to try if he’s going to be such an annoying struggle.

Spooker has a massive collection of stuffed animals that he treats with incredible love and care.

Spooker is actually allergic to cats, but loves cats and cat-themed things. He is willing to cuddle with a kitty if it means he has to suffer itchy eyes and sneezing. Won’t stop him from complaining about the consequences, though.

Technically out of the whole team, Spooker is both the least and most qualified member of the team. Part of the qualifications for the job is a degree in something that matches the field/industry, and Spooker doesn’t have that… what he DOES have is first-hand experience with the paranormal since BIRTH. He thinks that this is the funniest thing.

Spooker has everyone’s coffee/not coffee orders memorized and sometimes buys for the team on days where he feels he can take the detour.

Whatever the opposite of a green thumb is, Spooker has been cursed for it. He has killed every plant that has passed through his hands unless it was somehow already dead. He’s gotten into flower pressing to make up for it, and presses flowers that represent important dates to him.

After developing an interest in art in university, Toast actually learned how to sketch borderline photorealism, and has tons and tons of doodles in his writings. Buildings they explored on their journeys, sketches of the ghosts they encountered, and a Lot of beautiful but haunting pictures of Mary… and Ghost.

Toast keeps a planner with important dates circled and underlined, including the date everyone joined the team, everyone’s birthdays, and other important dates that may need celebration or revisiting.

In the PIE HQ, there’s a random tape of the Great British Bake-off mixed among all the other work VHS tapes by an old office TV. No one’s noticed it yet, but if they were to put it on, they’d see a college-age Johnny Toast featuring as one of the bakers in the episode. He looks so squishy.

Despite his job, Toast actually hates really scary horror movies and finds them to be a little too much. He can take supernatural-based movies since they feel so unrealistic to him, but the blood and gore in a lot of them is too much. Also, a lot of possession movies make him uncomfortable because he’s had to live through having someone he loves being possessed, and he doesn’t like how much it’s treated like the end-all be-all with few options.

Toast has a habit of feeding local stray animals, but doesn’t know all the local fauna and was feeding opossums for a long while thinking they were some kind of cat or bald rat or something, he didn’t want to ask.

Relationship Fluff

In order of who met first:

Johnny Ghost and Fred Soup

Surprisingly in first, Spooker first met Johnny Ghost when he was Gregory Casket. Spooker’s dad had several positive encounters with Timothy Casket and Johnny Ghost Senior, allowing for the two kids to have semi-frequent playdates. Ghost doesn’t remember this at all, but Spooker’s known since after the puppet arc. Spooker considers Ghost his oldest friend before of this.

Always the commanding kid, Gregory/Ghost actually came up with the nickname Spooker, it just stuck. Fred stopped going by the nickname around high school, but chose to take it up again because it just seemed to fit the paranormal investigating job.

Ghost has one-sided beef with Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza because of his time as a McDonalds manager in a city where everyone preferred pizza. Unknown to Spooker, this is most of the reason why Ghost was so annoyed during Spooker’s first mission. Ghost did Not want to be there and just wanted to leave as soon as possible.

Around when Chris first getting used to the team’s dynamic, he told Ghost that he’s far too critical to Spooker, so for about a week, Ghost tried holding himself back and being “nicer”. Spooker quickly caught on and told him that her liked that Ghost was honest and serious with him— even if it was kind of mean. He felt it meant that Ghost would always be honest with him and didn’t see him as someone who needed to be coddled.

Ghost was pretty openly mean about Spooker’s stuffed animals when he first joined the team, but got pretty used to them after awhile and will offer to repair them when one gets ripped or damaged so Spooker doesn’t get upset.

For his fifth anniversary with the team, Ghost made a big deal about not wanting to get anything for Spooker, only to present him with a hand-sewn stuffed animal with the PIE symbol on its little arms and back. Spooker cried.

Ghost tried to make him stop by saying that it was only made from scraps that Ghost had lying around from repairing the team’s stuff. Spooker cried harder.

He named the stuffed animal Tart and lets Woah sleep with it when she needs something to hold at night.

Johnny Ghost and Johnny Toast

Toast was actually seen as the problem child out of the two of them when they first met. Ghost was still kind of shell-shocked and processing his PSTD, and Toast was lashing out at anything because the sudden change in his lift was stressing him out. The two were sometimes paired together by the school’s faculty because they were hoping Ghost’s easy-to-startle nature would make Toast settle down. Instead, Ghost got more hectic as he worked through his problems, and Toast barely mellowed out as he adjusted to life in the States.

Ghost was the first person to really be there for Toast after what happened to Mary. He was the only one who really had an idea of what Toast was going through, and tried his best to give Toast the comfort that he would have wanted when he was going through his own grief. It was more effort than Toast was hoping for and really helped him in ways he didn’t know he needed.

Toast tried to go no-contact with his family around when he graduated University, and maintained it up until the founding of PIE. He saw how much working several jobs for all hours just to keep the lights at PIE on was wearing out Ghost, and reached back out to his family for the money so Ghost wouldn’t have to work so hard.

For the longest time, Toast’s Home Screen on his phone was him and Ghost making a hand heart together… in front of an explosion. Ghost had a similar one as his Lock Screen, except his was over a swallowing abyss, and his Home Screen was all black. Ghost thought it was funny, but Toast thought it was adorable that they matched.

Though he’s very prim and proper with the team, Toast is actually pretty messy when at home. He can manage his own stuff, but he struggles at keeping a tidy space. To make up for this, Ghost regularly marks days on the calendar when they’ll spend the morning cleaning before they go to work, and take note of what specifically needs focus throughout the week.

When Johnny Toast first got into cosplay, he would go to stores to get the outfits and wigs or buy them cheap online and try to grin and bear the quality. Ghost couldn’t help with the wig aspect, but he’d sew incredibly complicated outfit designs for Toast under the guise that he wanted to prove that the quality of the store-bought stuff was That Bad.

That’s part of why he doesn’t want to go anywhere with Toast while Toast is in cosplay because he’s actually kind of embarrassed of his earlier work but doesn’t want to make Toast retire his favorite outfits.

Both Toast and Ghost have had long enough hair to braid in the past (or present, for Ghost), and they’ve had moments of absent-mindedly braiding segments of each other’s hair.

Toast was Not the only person getting fangirls and stalkers, Ghost just looked at Toast, saw him as the hottest man on the planet, and went ‘yeah, that’s the only reason why they’re here.’

Johnny Toast and Fred Soup

Originally, Toast didn’t realize that Spooker was going to be a long-term member of the team, and he thought Spooker quit when he went missing halfway through the Puppet Arc. Realizing that Spooker lowkey sacrificed himself to try to save Ghost made Toast come around to him staying with the team… Spooker also didn’t realize Toast was the other member of the team until after Ghost got back, though. Only Ghost knows that they were both confused.

Spooker insists upon keeping track of the birthdays of ghosts that they see frequently, and Toast has begrudgingly began adding them to his planner. It does require trudging through graveyards or examining old records sometimes, and it can be a lot more work than anyone was asking for… but Toast is glad it makes Spooker happy.

Spooker loves Toast’s art and is trying to convince him to try coloring some of it with watercolors. Toast doesn’t want to admit that paint deeply confuses him, so he just lets Spooker do it for him.

Lacking blood when he’s spectral (a consequence of being half-ghost), Spooker actually struggles with generating his own body heat. On the other hand, Toast generates warmth faster when infected with lycanthropy. That being said, when both conditions are met, the two can consistently be found together, as close as possible.

Unexpected to Toast, Spooker actually knew several werewolves growing up and figured out Toast was a werewolf before anyone told him. This led to Spooker giving Toast some really good werewolf-coping advice up until he was properly cured, and Toast thinking it was just a really insane coincidence for like. A year after it.

Despite Spooker not really having a paycheck for literal years, Toast would find “sneaky” ways to pay him for his work. Toast thought he was slick, but Spooker just didn’t want to comment about how he was being given like 200 dollars for gas money and 500 dollars to restock the fridge at the base. He just thought it was like how Ghost was bad at reading and didn’t want to bring it up.

Spooker saw a picture of Toast with his hair long and in a ponytail soon after college and has been begging him to grow it out ever since then. He thinks Toast’s hair is literally angelic and can’t imagine why he likes it short. Toast just says he got sick of brushing ghost slime out of it.

Spooker can’t tell Toast and Gavin apart, to the point where he kind of doesn’t remember they’re different people after being explained that they are. Gavin feels horrible for tricking him because Spooker is always really nice to him, even after being told that he isn’t Toast. Toast thinks it’s funny, though.

Chris Ghostie and Johnny Ghost

Ghost was really friendly with Colon while he was driving Ghost to his location. It had been a long time since a stranger who was ignorant about the supernatural was actually interested in learning about it and wasn’t judgmental, weird, or gave Ghost a fake smile before brushing him off. They had a long, friendly conversation that mostly consisted in Ghost explaining how the paranormal worked from a professional perspective, which Colon was very receptive to. That’s the main reason why he allowed a stranger with no experience to come with him on a potentially dangerous mission. He thought Colon really had the chops for the job. And he was right.

Though Colon was initially very drawn to Ghost, there was a period of time where he doubted himself because Ghost could come off as kind of cruel to the other members of the team sometimes. It took him awhile to realize it was just a front and that Ghost had a very soft inside with a very prickly outside… that was also when he realized Ghost probably really liked him to start their friendship by exposing his soft side.

Colon originally found his nickname kind of annoying, but Ghost laughing about it actually made it grow on him over time. He’s found he’s grown more comfortable with it over time. Also, he’s found ways to make fun of Ghost back if it ever strikes a nerve with him.

Despite spending incredibly minimal time with the team compared to everyone else, Colon was able to tell the difference between Ghost and Casket incredibly easy. He’s started spraying Ghost with water when he suddenly spikes with Casket activity out of nowhere to startle Ghost back to attention.

He can also tell the difference between Johnny Ghost and Johnny Cranky almost immediately, but didn’t tell Cranky the first time the doppelgänger tried pulling one over on him. He made up a Ton of fake drama happening inside of PIE to freak Cranky out and circulate false information around DIE. At this point, he sees Cranky as the most unthreatening version of Ghost.

According to Colon, upon realizing Colon’s love of research and learning, Ghost appointed him the team teacher so that Colon could teach every newcomer to the team. According to Ghost, he gave Colon the job so he’d stop suggesting they hire or adopt every vaguely paranormal-inclined person and creature, because then they’d be his responsibility to deal with (he did not stop).

When Colon gets really excited about a book, he usually tells Ghost about it because chances are, Ghost is never going to read it so he really doesn’t care about spoilers. This is the only way that Ghost has ever actually gotten invested in books— fiction and nonfiction— because Colon is very, very thematic when he summarizes stories.

While Ghost was retired, Colon sent regular emails to Ghost’s work email as kind-of a diary. He figured that even if Ghost opened his work email, he wouldn’t read most of them, even if he sent something back. Ghost didn’t actually open his work email again until right before he was considering joining the team. Part him wanted to find it annoying, but it’s part of what eventually pushed him into joining back. He used TTS to read them all.

Fred Soup and Chris Ghostie

These two have the strongest stomachs to blood and gore on the team, and first started going over to each other’s places to watch horror movies together. They tried making it into a team thing, but had to stop making it a horror thing when they realized Ghost and Toast weren’t as into it.

When Spooker realized Ghost only recognizes him with the hat, it was Colon’s idea to dye his hair a bubblegum pink. He dyed streaks of his own hair a temporary blue in solidarity, but it was kind of hard to see without bleach.

Colon asked Spooker why he acts kind of stupid on the job, and Spooker explained that most ghosts would underestimate him if they thought he was stupid. Colon thought that as a little bit ingenious and will sometimes join in, much to Ghost’s tired annoyance. To be nice, Colon will take missions seriously when it’s just him and Ghost.

They started putting on Bluey for Woah to watch, but Colon quickly realized that some of the episodes counted as honest-to-god parenting advice and pulled Spooker into watching some of the episodes with him. He didn’t realize it would be actually kind of therapeutic for Spooker.

They have a Minecraft server together. Woah has her own special area that Colon used mod privileges around to ensure mobs wouldn’t spawn. They put their minecraft beds together.

Colon has a lot of dietary restrictions because of his. Whole relationship with specifically his colon, so Spooker went out of his way to learn new recipes and double-check some of his old recipes so Colon would always have something he could eat without a stomachache anytime Spooker cooks for the team. It took some experimenting, but they figured out a system, and Colon is really grateful.

In spite of getting all his information from Johnny ‘they are the most threatening, horrifying thing on the planet’ Ghost, he’s chosen to go out of his way to give Spooker’s demon cat plushie a chance. Though he is still a little suspicious about it getting too close to Woah.

Colon is the only member of PIE that Spooker has personally introduced to his dad without his dad knowing they were involved with PIE, meaning Colon is the only member of PIE who Chakalata likes. (He begrudgingly kept liking Colon even after finding out the truth.)

Chris Ghostie and Johnny Toast

Out of all the members of PIE, Toast was the only one Colon knew of before joining PIE. How? He’s read Toast’s book cover-to-cover. Several times. He has multiple sections and most of the cases detailed in that book memorized.

Colon is gradually and slowly trying to teach Toast to drive in return for more background information about Toast’s book.

A big reason why Toast doesn’t experience curses or magical afflictions as often as he used to isn’t really because they stopped coming, but because Colon started making him different charms and curse-repellants when he realized how often Toast suffers because of the supernatural. He is a little disturbed with how quickly Toast goes through them, but Toast is just relieved to have any break. At all.

Colon was incredibly excited of Toast’s cosplaying when he found out about it, and has offered to tag along with him to contests, or to dress up with him if he needs a double. They’re the closest to being the same size out of everyone on the team, so Colon can actually wear some of Toast’s older costumes if the need arises.

Colon is sometimes disappointed that he missed out on Toast being a werewolf (in cases where Toast gets cured and manages not to get it again) because the stories from Ghost and Spooker makes it sound way cuter than it actually was.

Toast and Colon are both incredibly organization-oriented, and both have different methods of keeping track of things. Sometimes they compare notes to make sure that they have everything since they tend to value different information.

I dunno if I said this anywhere else, but I’m dubbing these two as the biggest nerds on the team. They will talk fandom and understand what the other person is talking about. They compare tv shows and movies and talk about the state of the animation industry and how best to support actors. It’s fun and exciting.

He’s also really good at telling Gavin and Toast apart, but tends to doubt himself since Gavin will commit to the bit as hard as possible and he doesn’t want to make Ghost panic. Sometimes, Toast is Just that chaotic and that’s okay.

Team-Focused Fluff

Every primary member of the team can pick up and carry Ghost with relative ease. On days when Ghost is dazed or out of it for some reason, he has been picked up and carried by the nearest teammate in the chase.

Toast getting strong-armed into keeping track of the birthdays of ghosts has actually had the humanizing but unintended side affect of actually re-learning and teaching ghosts their own birthdays. They all react differently, some better some worse. Maxwell actually eased up on them. Aimee cried.

Colon has needed a surgery or two since joining the team, and absolutely everyone joined in to make sure he was as comfortable as possible. They did give him space and time to recover on his own, but they also went out of his way to make sure they had snacks he could eat and that he was always comfortable and had something to do. One time he was bored to a point that the usual methods wouldn’t fixed, so they set up a whole mystery in his room for him to solve without straining himself.

EVERYONE on the team has a story around biting someone that they were too young to remember but their parents thought were notable/hilarious. Spooker bit another kid while playing a game where everyone was an animal (~1yrs old - he was probably just teething, but his dad thought it was really funny), Ghost bit someone while he was being taken in after being found wandering in the woods (~7-8yrs old something his dads always noted as being a sign that he was a fighter— trying to spin it into a positive), Toast bit one of the servants who was taking care of him when they tried to pry as to why the usually chipper toddler was suddenly being so closed off (~4-5yrs old - his mother’s first red flag that something was happening to her children, but it would be another few years before anything was done about it), and Colon bit a doctor while dazed and waking up after a dental surgery (~7yrs - old his mother thinks it’s hilarious). They find it funny that THAT’S a distinct and notable thing they all have in common.

It’s really hard to get a babysitter for Woah. Options in the past have ranged from random teens in the paper (Woah just does whatever she wants since they can’t touch her), Maddie-Friend per Gertrude’s recommendation (overall really responsible, but usually busy with college or stalking), Spencer Acachalla to keep him from coming on missions after he forced himself onto the team (puts Woah on the coms while playing online games to make them think a six-year-old girl is destroying them… also managed to burn water), Poppy Soup per Spooker’s request (she invited friends over without realizing one of them was the ghost the team was after and got herself banned from babysitting… but was otherwise okay.), and Maxwell Acachalla (Colon was hoping it would be therapeutic. It actually kind of worked. He has no idea how to cook food.).

They have talked about starting a band, mostly as a joke. They kind of stopped talking about it when they realized they would technically be a boy band.

Everyone in the team is actually pretty okay at cooking. Spooker is the most skilled at cooking a lot of food at a time for a group of people, of course, but that’s not the only needed skill. Toast has an incredible attention to detail when picking out ingredients but struggles at measuring time, Ghost is adept at using replacements when lacking specific ingredients but doesn’t keep track of the level of nutrients he’s taking in at a time, and Colon is incredible at making a little go a long way but gets easily overwhelmed in a large kitchen. Also, Spooker most struggles at cooking for just himself, often making wayyy too many leftovers.

Casket will sometimes bore and start poking around with stuff if he can’t find anyone after finding himself in control with Ghost’s body. That’s how the team walked in on him trying and failing to sing Karaoke with Ghost’s hoodie around his neck like a cape after they left Ghost at home for a mission because he had a migraine. This was the most humanizing moment Spooker and Colon have ever had with Jimmy Casket. It was also incredibly embarrassing for Jimmy. He tried killing Toast for managing to get pictures and everything devolved into chaos, but Toast ultimately won.

Everyone tends to wear different styles outside of work than they do in work. Toast actually prefers to dress down and wear more casual, rugged, and loose-fitting clothes. Spooker likes colorful, flowing stuff with sparkles and loose bits. He has also done some bedazzling of some of PIE’s tools. Colon likes wearing a bit of an academia look or business casual and enjoys jewelry. The only exception is Ghost, nothing on the planet will get him to part from styling his entire outfit around an oversized hoodie and thick-soled combat boots. They only ever look coordinated when they’re on the clock.

They celebrate Halloween like no one’s business. They also Hate Halloween because of the spike of absurd cases— both fake and real. It’s kind of hard to tell someone they’re overreacting when there IS a chance that SOME GHOST is crazy enough to do JUST ABOUT ANYTHING just because it’s Halloween.

Thanks for asking, and I hope your week has improved as much as possible since you sent that ask <3

[the-masked-reviewer]

Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief Comparison

Book v. Show

What Changed

There are jokes in the book that are completely left out and never even alluded too. The episode named “We take a Zebra to Vegas”, shows you multiple animals that the smugglers are transporting, none of them being a Zebra. They kept the book’s corresponding chapter name but not the actual Zebra.

The show’s focus is more on Percy and Annabeth and their relationship, but in order to accomplish that, they pushed Grover into a more side character position making it far harder to see Percy and Grover’s relationship as the platonic soulmates they are.

The books show Gabe’s behavior in fairly subtle ways, mostly through Percy’s internal dialogue and not through direct scenes with Gabe. I think the show actually did a pretty good job at showing just how bad of a person Gabe is, though they did leave out a few scenes that would’ve helped. I don’t think changing the way Gabe turns to stone really does anything other than take away Sally’s revenge and make a dumbass die by cause of being a dumbass.

Celestial Bronze is explained early on in the book at the same time most of the basic general knowledge of demigod life is explained to Percy and the reader. However in the show, they don’t even tell you this is a material that exists until the fifth out of eight episodes, taking away both Percy’s growing knowledge of his new world and the importance of the material.

In the books, Percy describes when he meets Hades like, “He was the third god I’d met, but he was the first that really struck me as godlike” (pg. 309) but the show introduces him as a weird fruity twink. It just takes away all the power the man is supposed to hold. He is literally the King of The Underworld and he is shown as a guy I don’t think anyone could ever reasonably be afraid of Even when Percy describes Dionysus, the first god he meets, “He turned to look at me straight on, and I saw a kind of purplish fire in his eyes, a hint that this whiny, plump little man was only showing me the tiniest bit of his true nature. I saw visions of grape vines choking unbelievers to death, drunken warriors insane with battle lust, sailors screaming as their hands turned to flippers, their faces elongating into dolphin snouts. I knew that if I pushed him Mr. D would show me worse things. He would plant a disease in my brain that would leave me wearing a straitjacket in a rubber room for the rest of my life” (pg. 70-71). It’s clear that these beings have an aura and could never not have a large powerful presence. But here Hades, the King of The Underworld, is just a guy. Comparing the two descriptions from the book makes it so clear how powerful Hades is supposed to be if compared to the visions of death and people turning into dolphins doesn’t register as godlike.

The show never once tells the audience what Tartarus is, not even after Percy and Grover are nearly dragged into it by Luke’s flying shoes. There was never any real foreshadowing for Luke or parallel to him a Percy until later in the season where you get flashbacks to Luke and Percy training. At that point it feels more like an afterthought to add in the evidence that it’s been Luke the whole time.

The show lets the audience witness scenes we’ve never gotten the chance to see before, and I can’t understate enough how much I love that. Getting to see Grover and Ares both attempt psychological warfare on each other in a dinner is peak Percy Jackson. However, the way the show is written takes away the audiences ability to truly see just how smart Percy is.

One of the changes I actually ended up liking far more than I thought I would initially was the change in the number of pearls the gang is given. By being given four pearls it shows that Poseidon not only cares for Percy and is watching him as he goes through life, but that he also truly cares for Sally.

The flashbacks are some of my favorite scenes. They’re written so well, and are great at taking advantage of the visual story telling techniques you have when you make a television show.

Not wanting your show to have a very exposition heavy introduction is understandable, but the show’s way of working around this problem is to put information right before or during the thing that’s being explained is happening results in a very exposition heavy, slow show where your characters, in this case Percy, are completely clueless at worst. For example, the gang not only knows but has a plan for facing Procrustes. The audience does not get to see the gang making this plan, just them executing it, having Percy explain to Procrustes (and the invisible audience) who he is and why he’s bad. This isn’t the only example of explaining things for the audience, like when they go over the entirety of Hephaestus’ story and his relationship with Aphrodite when clearly both characters in the scene know the story. The information these 12 year olds (Grover is technically 24 yes, but in human years he is also 12) is just inconsistent. They know who Medusa, the fates, Hephaestus all are, and yeah I’d honestly kind of hope they would. But they also know Crusty’s whole story, and details about how monsters hunt and generally act? Echidna literally spelled out who she was before the gang was able to figure it out (they then seem to understand perfectly how the Chimera hunts while simultaneously not knowing what kind of monster it is). Yet they seem to not only know but be intimately familiar with Crusty’s entire mythos.

When the gang is traveling with the animal smugglers, the book audience learns these guy are not good people from the description Percy gives of the inside of the truck and how the animals are treated, whereas the show has Grover tell Annabeth and Percy “the men driving this truck are not nice people” (Episode 5, 4:35). This would’ve been such an easy moment to take advantage of the media they are using and tell us this visually in the same way the book did.

The fact that the gang knows what kind of situation they are walking into practically every time does more than just take away the surprise. It takes away the viewers ability to try and predict what’s happening because it has already been explained. And what’s worse is it takes the tension away from the story. Without impending unknown doom, and always having a plan may paint your characters, primarily Annabeth because she is the one who always knows and makes plans, as smart and prepared but it also takes away most of the stakes and point of the story.

A lot of the story stayed mostly the same, and details and deliveries changed the most. But two of the changes that bothered me the most were the lack of explaining what Riptide even is and its importance, which for a show that likes to explain everything is awfully surprising, and how they decided to turn Gabe to stone.

Why Change it/Care

Dialogue is an important thing in storytelling, obviously. But there are some things that work better when shown. You don’t need to explain out loud all of the “you’re ___”s and “This is how your story goes.” In order to tell an interesting story you have to get a balance of dialogue and showing the story in order for it to be interesting. You have to trust the audience to figure out what isn’t explained.

The Thrill Ride O’ Love scene is one of the best examples of being to reliant on dialogue. Instead of letting the beautiful animation play out and leave the viewers using their brains to figure out what’s happening (which isn’t very hard, the animation is done wonderfully and tells the story of Hephaestus brilliantly) they have Percy telling the story over the animation (and “what is love” which is a crime of its own) and narrate the story. This is especially annoying because the only other person witnessing this (aside from invisible audience) is Annabeth, who’s been the one in the gang who knows and explains everything. I already don’t like how they’ve been using the “Athena’s kid” and “six steps ahead” things as Practically all of Annabeth’s character traits, but in this instance it’s only the two of them and Percy is telling the story. Who is he supposed to be explaining this too other than the viewer, Annabeth clearly knows the story too.

The flashbacks are so well written that while rewatching they kept tricking me into thinking the show wasn’t over explaining what was going on and was instead letting the story do all the heavy lifting. Then of course it would cut back to the current story and I’d be reminded that the flashbacks were in fact the exceptions and not the rule in this shows case.

The heavy exposition, read just straight up telling the viewer what’s going on, was used mostly in the side adventures and for world building things to do what feels like an attempt at saving time. While exposition is usually used for basic world building things, it wouldn’t have taken any more time to have so many of those things be shown visually. There are places where it may have added time but the show’s episode lengths are inconsistent and range from having content in anywhere from roughly 27-40 minutes depending on the episode, so even if there was a time increase from doing things visually there’s space to shuffle things around and make consistent episode full of visual story telling.

In the notes I took for this project I only used the word “explains” nine times to cover the entirety of the book. In the first three episodes of notes alone I used “explains” 14 times. Meaning, in less than half of the show something is explained 1.5 times more than the complete book.

Sometimes you just have to trust the audience to understand what is happening in the story. I understand media literacy is going down (which is an insane fact given how much media people have access to now) but if you continue to talk down to them, they obviously aren’t going to learn how to figure it out themselves. I know “kids show” and all that, but if the kids who read the book were able to understand, and love, the story without it being almost all exposition, why would they not get it when it’s in the form of media they do know and consume now?

When adapting a story, it’s expected that things get cut and altered to fit the new media and really take all the advantages of that media to show pieces of the story that wouldn’t have worked in the original source. But in the case of Gabe turning to stone, it’s only talked about and isn’t actually in the book. Where in the show you show Gabe turning to stone but make it something he brought upon himself. It would not have taken more time or been any harder to have Sally take care of Gabe like we know she does. They could’ve shown her doing it, or followed the books way and only show the outcome. It is astounding how hard they worked to not have the story play out visually in visual media. This feels like the show version of the “highlight everything, if it wasn’t important it wouldn’t be included” mindset.

I understand the source material is a first person book, so everything is in the form of dialogue or internal monologue but you’re working with visual media, everyone doesn’t need to always state what is happening.

Needing to condense and simplify the story to work for the form of media you’re in is the whole point of adapting. It’s supposed to take advantage of the different things you can do that you couldn’t do in the original form of media. Having people explain what things are and what’s happening is definitely something that could happen in a book, but it didn’t happen in The Lightning Thief  because it doesn’t make for a good story. So why would doing that in visual media make for any better of a story?

Is it Good

The build-up to the show was full of Rick promising it would be far more faithful then the [REDACTED] movie. All that press really helped get everyone excited because the fandom, much like Rick himself, hate the movies and how much they changed the story. Then the show comes along and repeats the mistake of the movies in different ways, a fact made all the more worse with everything Rick had promised. The show is more faithful to the books then the movies, but that isn’t a very high bar.

I’ve seen a few people mention that they should’ve made the show animated, with the main reason of character congruency since real life people obviously grow up. A thing made more obvious with the timeline most streaming shows end up taking. And while that probably would’ve been a better show, I think if they had just treated this like a real television show and made it on a classic (read mostly outdated, unfortunately) timeline it would’ve ended up a much better, more consistent show. There were also the points of special effects and the gods all looking better animated, which again they would have, but if done right, would look especially good in live action. I mean imagine watching a real Percy Jackson come face to face with a well-designed, perfectly intimidating Hades, and it all looks as real as they can get with CGI.

A friend of mine, who had to put up with my ramblings about this the whole time, said “As someone who isn’t a dedicated fan of the books and just read the first book for 6th grade English… I can’t say anything about the show as an adaptation but as its own thing, I’d honestly say it was between ‘ok’ and ‘great’ and I think the fanbase deserves better than halfway between ok and good”.

The flashback with Sally and Poseidon talking about Percy and Poseidon just being there to support her does so much. It’s easily the best scene in the entire show, and my favorite, hands down. The final episode of the season let the story work. It’s probably my favorite episode, even if I don’t like how they ended up handling Gabe. Since it’s a post-credit scene I’ve decided to not let it affect this.

The behind the scenes documentary was a chance for me to step back and look at the whole show not just all those tiny details that drive me crazy. Solidifying that the only real complaint is the writing, which is important, because the acting, set design, casting, direction, just everything except parts of the dialogue are so good. It isn’t even all the writing, just the over explaining. It’s one of those things where everything was set up to be perfect but one tiny thing didn’t hold it’s weight and tainted everything else.

The frustrating thing is I don’t think it’s the show (or even Disney) that’s at fault for why it wasn’t great. I think this is just the direction tv media (and all visual media) has been heading towards. If they had more time for the story, they would’ve been able to show us the in between moments and more interactions between our characters. The documentary really shows how much everyone working on it, both in the cast and crew, deeply care about the project. The way everyone talks about their work in the documentary make it so clear how much love and care went into to show. I’m more mad at the industry and streaming corruption making the show into what it was then the show as a whole.

It feels like the show version of not planning out where to write you letters on a poster. You start out all big and bold and slowly everything just gets more and more squished.

It’s a good show, and I did enjoy it. But it didn’t stand up to the expectations that were built up for it. Those expectations were so high, primarily because of Rick continuing to say it’ll be close to the book, and the knowledge that he was involved and hates the movies as much as the fans, gave me, and all of us, hope for the story. Then we got the story and while it wasn’t hugely changed, it was still fundamentally different. The moment I found out how long the show’s season was going to be, I knew it wasn’t going to be quite what I wanted or what it deserves to be because so much would have to be cut and/or altered to fit.

read all here <prev 2 next>

[duncanstewartsblog]

Spirited Away

When I entered into this class this was the film I was most excited about. I have already seen Spirited Away and I saw it during the pandemic and I loved it. Not my favorite Studio Ghibli film but still great nonetheless, it is very rare when I actually think one of their films is just okay. Especially not this one though being that it won the best animated feature oscar. The animation quality in this film is one of the best of all time because not only does it actually have something to say about consumerism but also it still shows the quality a film can have when you still draw the films we create. Nowadays we have been so accustomed to 3D animation which, don't get me wrong, is still good when done right but you can never go wrong with some good ol drawings. Going onto the side of consumerism, when I first watched the film I didn’t think much of it but now it is blatantly obvious how it is about this. With characters like that of No Face and the parents turning into pigs is just very obvious. These parents turn into pigs after consuming so much food at the shop and becoming almost grotesque and nowhere as similar looking to their daughter. The same goes for No Face where he seems to be this spirit that at first isn’t welcomed by really anyone but at the same time seems kind of normal and doesn’t cause any harm to our main character. But once they get to that scene of the spirit eating tons and tons of food makes them become once again this grotesque monster that tries to destroy everything around them. It just seems to play in of itself of greed and consumerism, with this constant image of turning into these grotesque monsters it’s obvious what the overall message for the film could be. That at a certain point is okay but when greed comes into play that’s when people start to get hurt and start hurting the ones around you. Lastly, the one thing I did want to mention about this film is just the genuine amount of inspiration this film holds in not animation but cinema in general. Not just from the character design of every single character but how the story itself doesn’t necessarily need to make sense. It's like what a lot of people say about these films and that is once again the beauty of it. They’re like dreams that a child would have where these characters all exist in the same world and that's just kind of unique where we don’t have to make sense of everything. We’re in a mystical world, let's just live in it. 

Grade: A+

[hedoughnism]

@max1461

So I’m also a secular atheist, but unlike you, I find myself drawn to that sort of neopagan gaia-worship , polytheist pansychist twisted east-Asian mishmash , shamanism, get high and try to talk to dolphins shit, And I’m … not really trying to persuade as much as get to an understanding,

Ok so getting the queer stuff out of the way first, I’m a gay guy, and Abrahamic religion sucks for that, like not just regular level “ of-course these lessons from this ancient society condone genocide and patriarchy and shit” I mean in the sense that homophobia* was just not a thing before , that thousands of years of “civilization” existed before some cranks in the levant Invented it , and the fact we just act like this make sense, some people really seem to treat homophobia as some primordial bad condition like tribalism and sexism as a natural default state of civilizations, feels bad, some people hyper-fixate on demons or stain-glass windows of Jesus or whatever and get their queer hands all over it , I look back on history and go. “ we’ve existed long before and will exist long after you” and like to think of this Abraham shit as a passing fad.

* This is long enough already, but your arguments otherwise are stupid and bad, your generally holding queer relationships to an impossible standard you can’t hold the straight relationships of the time to, and the nuances were highly varied in the greco-roman world let alone further afield. I would explain more but this is a tangent.

I’m also sort of Buddhist brained, “stoicism” is sometimes treated as the western equivalent of secular-Buddhism, but it didn’t catch on, or was warped into “ Tough Men don’t have feelings” nonsense, so yeah, Budhist philosophy speaks to me as someone low on drive and who cares about suffering and doesn’t really like existence.

Now polytheist stuff

I don’t believe in gods, but gods make more sense than A God. Because things that they’re are only one in the vague category of are rare, and because a bunch of lower power level spirits causing shit better explaisn stuff like “ the problem of evil” or “ conflict existing”

But There is more to it than that

Cause, when Y*hw*h became the only god, he didn’t really go from “ storm god” to “ god of everything” , he became the god of nothing

Gods are the personifications of complex phenomena , especially natural ones, Y*hw*h became the one God, but he did not become Mother Gaia, or the panpsychist universe as god, he became an empty god of nothing, a god with no sacred groves or springs or caves, not a god of the earth that we grow our food in and must tend, the world become mankind’s plaything he gave us,nothing sacred or special, just a toy to have fun breaking , his worship only in buildings with closed walls, not the open builds of Roman temples, monuments to mankind

And I’m a nature loving hippy, Ive tried to rationalize it https://placeholderatthemoment.substack.com/p/conservation-as-compassion-a-101 but it’s also an aesthetic preference, it is something that speaks deeply, ( largely cause its been the only alternative given to Conquer Everything and Everyone to Subjugate as part of Mans Domain since forever) , and I’m not a fan of noble-savagery, that sort of thing is very exaggerated, but I think there’s a tiny grain of truth that Abrahamism encourages a destructive approach to nature , and this callus attitudes against nature and wildlife seem to have peaked with the victorians, who defended over exploitation by saying god can always make more,

The last thing is… I low key think polytheism is reasonably likely , Here Me Out

So “ Who is sentient” is litteraly the Hard problem, very hard to tell, generally I include animals with centralized nervous systems ( bilaterians and clown jellies and box jellies) and exclude the rest, but there is some murkiness, I think there’s a reasonable possibility coral or even non animal stuff lime slime-molds are sentient , and also mycorrhizal networks

Now that’s not me saying “ the plant” or “ the fungus” is sentient, I thing thats negligible, but the entire system, all the fungi and roots together, of large numbers of organisms of many species, passing electrical and chemical signals between each other, I give it like a 10-20% chance

Now its wouldn’t be the tree that’s sentient, or the fungi sentient. This isn’t your bog-standard sentient organism, this is something that is sentient, but isn’t an organism , this is quite literally/ the spirit of the forest/ AKA a forest god, this is just the most obvious example of a type of god that might exist, their is a good chance there are more

Yeah so that’s my mishmash of why that sort of shit appeals / speak-to me, even if most of is is anti scientific non sense I don’t believe :)

[aquanthis]

digging deep into grims ocland. raz info 😏⁉️

jesus christ that IS digging deep. i haven’t thought about raz since high school it feels like. i remember so little of his lore but i can do my best to piece it together lmfao. i wish i had any kind of ref image for him but uh he is an oc from so long ago and most of those old ocs have been collecting dust for yeaaaars except the few i’m really attached to

anyway here goes?

okay so i hunted down my original ramble about him just now and i forgot how much i liked this concept lol. i’m realizing i still really like my old ocs

anyway! raz is a magicverse sorcerer. he’s genderfluid and bisexual. he’s one of the most famous models in the western magic world and frequently ends up in the few magazines/newspapers that exist in sorcerer society (usually only widespread in bigger cities/places with high concentrations of sorcerers). he’s also kind of a porn star on the side, though he takes that a bit less seriously. anyway, he’s considered very handsome in a traditionally masculine way, which causes one of his major conflicts, in that he can’t be out as genderfluid or try to present in a more feminine way without risking his job(s). he defaults to using he/him because it’s easier but likes any pronouns :)

his magic type is air. he can harden air into a sword or shield (for example, but he can make just about anything), and can also animate it into familiars, though unlike other notable sorcerers he can’t keep them around forever because he has to spread his power quite thin to do so. he’s quite powerful, which makes him even more popular in sorcerer society, though he’s not exactly the biggest fan of his status!

he’s a big sweetheart really, though you wouldn’t know it from his photoshoots (they often make him appear more masculine than he really is). he has a pet rat (that i can’t remember the name of) that he keeps with him all the time, generally hidden away in a pocket or kept in his hoodie hood. it’s very well trained and he’s obsessed with rats in general.

as previously mentioned, he’s very handsome but he’s kind of embarrassed about it in day-to-day life and tries to brush it off as much as he can. he doesn’t like the amount of attention it gets him. outside of work he wants to be left alone most of the time LOL. also he’s very physically strong and can lift pretty heavy stuff, though he rarely utilizes that strength because. well. he’s a big softie. (he does pick up his girlfriend though. he’s not a fucking coward)

anyway he’s also kind of secretly a huge nerd. he’s really interested in human video games/media and other parts of human culture and if you ask him about it he’ll ramble for a LONG time. he wears leather/denim jackets a lot but he’ll wear nerdy ass graphic tees under them because it makes him happy

also his girlfriend is ayame, a demon who’s seb’s oc :3 i won’t get into her lore because 1. i only partially remember and 2. she belongs to seb, but she’s the first one to actively encourage raz presenting in a more feminine way. they’re this image (with ayame doing raz’s makeup obviously)

oh also, i forgot to do a physical description because i usually have art or screenshots or something. raz is tall and has tan/olive skin, with dark curly hair and freckles and a slightly hooked nose. he’s, uh, pretty obviously jewish. intentionally on my part (i was really into projecting my jewishness as much as possible onto my ocs when i was in high school). he also has a lot of dark body hair and he’s extremely sexy for that <3

erm if there’s anything else, i probably don’t remember ✌️ know that raz loves his girlfriend so much and lets her peg him til he can’t walk i mean what who said that. it’s 5:30 am i’m done bye

[cluescorner]

The Cookies of Darkness are so Funny to Me

Like, they really just have a weird dynamic where they all hate each other except maybe some of them don’t sometimes and nobody hates the baby. Here’s the list of characters

Pomegranate Cookie: Literally gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. The worst person you’ve ever met who has also formed a very unhealthy and toxic attachment so you kinda feel bad about that, but then she actively pokes at your trauma and literally sends you into flashbacks. She also is like a priestess who has a mirror that shows you all sorts of bullshit, but IDK if the shit in the mirror is actually true or is just what Pomegranate Cookie wants to see. Either way, troubling.

Poison Mushroom Cookie: The baby who is too cute to for this world but also causes a lot of problems, mostly on accident. They’re kinda being led astray but everyone seems pretty nice to them and don’t really have anything else going on. They want you to try their shrooms and if you say that you like shroomies they’ll probably hug you. You’ll get really fucked up on them, though, so be aware that the hug will cost you. They’re also presumably oblivious to most of the inter-group drama, which is most likely intentional on the part of everyone else.

Red Velvet Cookie: The leader’s son who just kinda…showed up way too late into the narrative but it’s ok because he’s cool. Dogs are the way to his heart and he’s also got like a cake-arm and it’s pretty awesome. He’s got something else going on with a priestess who has a crossbow and their narrative ended without really concluding so there’s gonna be more shit going on with them probably. IDK, he’s a general and is not there most of the time so he’s kinda out of the loop.

Licorice Cookie: A gremlin who is supposed to be a mostly comedic enemy but the game accidentally made him super meta so now it’s the reverse of that ‘character as a boss vs when you get them’ meme. He’s got an inferiority complex but likes to act like he’s super powerful when in reality nobody really takes him seriously. He dropped out of school and is kinda the older brother/babysitter to the baby. Is probably gonna be redeemed by the end of the game’s story because they’ve set him up for that pretty well. Also…he might have a thing for this one princess cake-hound?? IDK it’s comedically hinted at once and then never brought up again.

Dark Choco Cookie: The almost comedically edgy character who I thought was gonna be underwhelming and funny, but then they actually gave him so much trauma that I kinda get why he says shit like ‘everything is futile…’ and ‘Darkness…approaches…’ unironically. He was a prince and then he found a cursed sword and maybe killed his dad, then joined the darkness because he hates himself and now he’s just suffering all the time. He’s an anime character, he’s almost funny to think about sometimes. Almost 100% gonna get a redemption arc unless they decide to fully commit to his ‘oh no the sword is cursed and is gonna overpower me and kill everyone oh no’ thing. He also kinda feels like my first OC sometimes, so that might be part of why I’m fond of him. Also, the wiki says he probably has PTSD and I agree, given…everything going on with him.

And they just…exist in canon as this weird team that lives together and does evil shit because they want to take over the world with their leader, Dark Enchantress Cookie, even though none of them actually know what the fuck is going on besides sometimes Red Velvet and Pomegranate. I want them all to get redemption arcs and to see more bullshit that they do together.

Like…what do they do when they’re not being evil on purpose?? Do they play Scrabble? Do they go to the cookie nightclub?? What do they have in common outside of ‘evil’?? Like, how to they pay for their evil lair? Do they have part-time jobs for when they aren’t being evil? Does Licorice Cookie tutor Poison Mushroom on magic shit and Poison Mushroom just uses it to grow shroomies faster? Do Red Velvet and Dark Choco ever just be edgy and brood together, only to be interrupted by the dogs running up and licking them?? Who let Pomegranate babysit Poison Mushroom, she’s gonna corrupt them and teach them swears. WHY DID RED VELVET ONLY POP IN AFTER LIKE 9 FUCKING CHAPTERS AND GO ‘Hey I’m here now, ok I gotta go have a subplot with a church girl bye’ CAN HE COME BACK IS HE JUST BANISHED? What is gonna happen when they get to the Dark Cacao kingdom??!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN THEY GET TO THE DARK CACAO KINGDOM OH NO

TLDR; The Cookie of Darkness are just so funny as a concept to me and I always want more content of them. I can’t wait to see some of them get redeemed and to personally kick Pomegranate Cookie into space.

[takalzuoom]

self aware arcane au addicted!! Please give us more!!

IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE! ngl i had trouble on how i wanted this to play out… but eventually i pulled through ✨💪😼

IM ALSO SO GLAD YOU LIKED MY PERVIOUS AU CKSLEOFOD

i hope you like this one as well 🙈🙇🏻

normally it’d wait until tomorrow to post, and once again i’m so so sorry this too so long to make 😔

cw : you scare sky, you call heimerdinger a furry

to put it simply, you were bored.

not having a phone and being ina lab with two workaholics was exhausting

every time time you would try to ask ‘what the fuck you were here’ they’d just say some bullshit about scientific discovery

GROSS

on the plus side- no school- no work- no nothing.

so while those were great, you also had to think about the downsides…

you missed your family and friends, days turning into weeks as you were cooped up in the lab. occasionally going out with one of the 3 when they knew no one was going to be there

yeah you could learn their language more, but what more was there to learn?

they never had time to really teach you about thing involving the new world you resided in. and mel was always too busy with more language lessons so she could ‘teach you about everything in her native tongue, so you could become more fluent.

it felt like you were rapunzal- locked away in a tower lab and kept out of the dark of things

so what’s the next best thing to do when your A. bored. and B. mad

rebel.

but you really couldn’t do that cause you don’t know if these people will kill you with their high tech gear or not

so you did the next best thing. fuck with ‘sky’

you’ve heard her around the lab a few times. all too aware of how her voice would unconsciously higher it’s pitch around viktor.

or how she was just so eager to learn

Y A W N

over all- you knew a bit about her

ironically, she doesn’t even know you’re here- or exist

but all she knows that there’s a fucking ghost in the lab

which, being honest- wasn first wasn’t your fault. jayce and viktor also hiding you under a desk or shoving you into a dark corner when someone not mel came in.

so you’d usually have to drop whatever you were doing and just hide

you felt like a side chick for crying out loud

and yes, you were mad, which would ensue your fidgeting which caused some kind of rackus the both tried to play off as an animal or the other.

so you decided, with an evil- grinch smirk- to see how far they’re going to go to keep your existence a secret.

how? well- she’d sometime hear moaning and rustling when she and viktor were working on hextech.

viktor ignoring her concerns with a wave of a hand as he worried her it was nothing

and totally not you rolling around on the provided bed, groaning at how you were gonna just die of boredom

or maybe it was her disappearing notes when she turn her back for just a second- swearing it was right there.

which of course put viktor in a bad spot as he stared at you, hopping away with her papers to go read them.

‘how the hell do they do that?’ is usually running through his head

and yes, the scoldings are getting longer and sterner-

but. but. this is the most fun since you snuck out of this snooze-fest.

and poor, poor sky thinks she’s going insane when she hears tapping, banging, clanking- whatever noises there are, when she’s alone in the lab.

she’d note the shadows dancing as the lights flicker and the wind rustling.

the power went out. glancing around nervously with the glow of the hexcore she walked over to the closet.

“viktor? jayce? are you guys there? the power’s gone out…”

she was reaching blindly for candles, hopping that once she has one she’ll be able to find the generator and start up the lab again- not knowing whether the whole academy was out.

she’d convince herself it was just a bad night with the obvious downpour. that she’s a scientist and shouldn’t believe in such trivial things

but the sudden grip of your hands, the fanning breath on her neck as her hair stood with attention.

“boo”

cackling to the floor as the poor girl ran for her life, screaming bloody murder out the lab and down the hall

you couldn’t help it, turning on the lights with a flick of the switch as you crumbled to the floor, your chest hurting with each other and every laugh that wheezed out of you.

you couldn’t wait for next time <3

until heimerdinger came in 🧍🏻

😟

naur cause he was standing there while you were laughing your ass off-

LIKE HE WAS ALREADY ON HIS WAY TO THE LAB AND WHEJ SKY CAME UP TO, PANICKING ABOUT HOW THERE WAS GHOST AND THAT SHES SORRY???

he had to investigate 😟

“excuse me- excuse me! but what are you doing here? how did you get in here?”

you froze from your upside down turtle position, quickly sitting up as you immediately stopped laughing.

“oh uh…well” you thought up a thought, and thought it up quick 😼

“i would like to know the same thing. so the men we should see is jayce and viktor!”

“oh dear not those two again”

‘again? just what else have they done for that response?’

so when the tiny ol’ thing offered for you to come with him to his office you just couldn’t resist!

“i’m sorry about thais two, they’re always causing trouble for us here at the academy-“

“yeah that’s great and all, are you a furry?”

“excuse me?”

- do you love me too, excuse me? -

so i would to imagine the looks ok viktor, jayce, and mel’s face when they came back from a meeting to see that there was no sign of you.

“there you are viktor! oh dear it was awful!”

“sky? slow down, and tell me what happened, are you okay?”

“no- no! there was a ghost and the light it-”

mel and jayce shared a look as mel interrupted her.

“it was just a power surge…” she didn’t know her name…

“and a draft could have just entered the room”

the poor assistant looked to her, “but my papers? and the grip on my shoulders-

and, and then i ran into heimerdinger and - i must’ve looked like such a fool oh no” she sighed, rubbing her temple as viktor froze.

shifting his weight carefully, he pressed on “heimerdinger? but he was supposed to be at the council meeting..”

“he wasn’t there? do you think…” sky asked.

“no. no. no. there’s no ghost sky, only a prankster” jayce reassured her, moving behind her to rub her shoulder as he motioned his head towards the door.

“but we should probably go to heimerdinger’s office while you get some rest okay? you don’t have to come in tomorrow”

“but viktor i”

“it’s fine sky. we have to go now”

if i had to describe the inner monologue of the three of them, i’d get banned. so i wont :)

but if you were expecting the 3 of them to run down the hall you would be sadly mistaken.

cause we all know that they’re all extremely important people, and as much as mel’s in a hurry- appearances are everything.

so they sped walk while saying hi to people. talking to eahcother in hushed voices

so you’d imagine their surprise when they stopped short at the door, jayce knocking rapidly at the sound of muffled voices.

“sir, i hope you won’t mind us coming in” viktor voices as the door started to open.

they couldn’t help but imagine the worst. every scenario running in their head making them shrink.

mel standing tall, with her eyes trained to the door

jayce fixing his collar

and viktor clearing his throat.

this want going to end well

so imagine their surprise when the image of you and heimerdinger, drinking tea while laughing was what they were greeted with.

“ah! jayce, viktor- oh and mel too! come in come in, we were just talking over tea!”

🧍🏻🧍🏻🧍🏻

why tf was heimerdinger’s… pet? pet. on your lap. IT FUCKING HATED JAYCE SO WHY IS IT COZYING UP TO YOU-

besides the point.

heimerdinger found you fascinating.

“jayce,viktor you never told me you two were taking an exchange student”

“…what?”

“that is what y/n is, correct?””…yes- yes! that’s what they are!”

the two gave you look a look, to which you just blissfully stroked his poro.

“yes! they were just telling me how they live in a small city in freljord called…” he looked to you

“ snezhnaya” you sipped your tea

“yes snezhnaya! i’ve never of such a place before! tell me jayce, did you know they had a holiday called christmas?”

“no sir, we did not”

“well then you should listen well to them as this could be a learning experience for you both.”

“yes sir”

with the request of the yodel pet thing, you left the room with mel, motioning to a zipper on your lips as you tossed something out.

yes you got a scolding from mel but c’mon. who wouldn’t enjoy it 🤭

and the two had a ‘talk’ with heimerdinger.

but for now, all they knew was that their secret was safe and that they couldn’t keep you, their ‘experiment’ to themselves anymore as you would now be given free reign over plitover and the academy - curtesy of heimerdinger

yippie! 😐

[yhwhsdaughter]

pairing: trevor belmont x fem reader

content: forced vampirism, monster slaying, main character death, pining, angst, mention of animal death, usage of the word ‘assault’ to refer vampires feeding on reader

- this was meant as platonic soulmates but it can be seen as romantic too

“It hurts…”

Feet dragging across the rocky ground, you heard screeches of pain from behind, though they soon diminished. You could only focus on the pulsing sensation at the side of your neck; it was like fire rushing through your veins.

Preoccupied with your agony, Belmont was able to sneak up. He raised his whip, ready to kill off the last of the creatures when you suddenly turned, and with glossy eyes you said, “Help me…”

The whip managed to leave a thin horizontal line across your cheek as he pulled back, causing blood to drip out slowly. Now illuminated by the moon, Belmont saw the damage on you. Skin exposed by the ripped clothes showed multiple bite marks. Blood stained the corner of your lips.

She’s been infected..

Belmont didn’t see a monster but a scared woman who’d just been assaulted by vampires. He knew what she’d turn into, but he couldn’t kill her… not when she looked at him like this. Sunrise was approaching so he had to act fast.

Draping his cloak onto your form, Belmont proceeded to carry you into the nearest building, which so happened to be where the carnage had occurred. Upon recognizing the place, you began to panic, shaking and looking at him with distrust. “You’re safe. I killed every last of those bloodsuckers.”

The two of you stayed like that for a while, in that shitty stinking room. Eventually tiredness overcame your senses; Belmont felt weight settle on his shoulder. He wonder how a vampire could look so innocent whilst sleeping.

“Hungry…”

You felt parched; it felt like your throat had dried up, barely able to utter a word.

“I know.”

A rabbit was placed in front of you. Blinking at it, you directed a confused glance at the man. “I’m—this is.. for me?” He nodded. Taking the animal with traces of disgust, you raised it to your mouth. Blood gushed into your mouth; feeding made a horrible slurping that would certainly haunt you but there was relief amongst those troubling feelings.

You gulped every last drop, draining the poor creature of its life. Still, your hunger and thirst weren’t satiated. Biting your lip, you pondered on the next move. Because this man had saved you, daring to kill him or even feed off him seemed… rude. Not to mention, he seemed way stronger than you in terms of experience. Prior to this, you were a regular citizen. Maybe you could run away?

“Here.”

Trevor could see your turmoil. Most vampires needed to drain at least one human every time they fed—if they were being generous. They could survive weeks without blood but it made them weaker. Besides, it was older vampires who had this kind of self control. Newborns tended to be more unstable.

“Just take it before I change my mind.”

You did as told, though you were still unsure. Hesitating, you licked your lips before nearing towards the vein on his wrist.

Trevor let out a grunt when your fangs pierced him. Although you tried to be gentle, it was an uncomfortable feeling nonetheless. As he became lightheaded and you full, the mouth that was attached to his wrist removed itself with a ‘pop’.

After making sure he was alright, you asked for his name. “Trevor. Trevor Belmont.”

“Oh..”

“……”

“Oh! I’m (Name) (Surname).”

─── ☾☼☽ ───

“It’s dangerous.”

“I still-still want to go!”

The last remnants of sun were gone. Ever since your first encounter with the rugged monster hunter, you refused to part from him, following the latter like a lost puppy.

“I’m not much of a fighter.. b-but watch this!”

On cue, you punched the nearest tree, cracking it and making a sizable hole. You looked back proudly towards Trevor; except when you tried to pull your hand out, you were having difficulty.

“Ah. It’s stuck.”

Trevor couldn’t help but chuckle, walking away, clearly amused with your display of power. You pulled harder, “Hold on! Don’t leave me alone! It’s scary..” you muttered the last part while chasing after him. Despite being a creature of the night, the world and its evils still frightened you.

At the sound of a branch snapping, you yelped, grabbing a piece of Trevor’s cloak for security.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Belmont when you punched a head clean off, practically decapitating one of the attackers. He might have been seriously injured if you had not intervened.

“Trevor.”

Gazing at you under the moonlight, he saw the hunger in your eyes as you held a man whom was still alive but struggling. His neck was exposed. Even so, you waited.

The Belmont turned away, giving you privacy to feed.

He knew that by allowing you to live, you would continue to take blood from others. Normally he wouldn’t feel soft towards a monster but whenever he thought of you, it was different.

His guilt was lessened when you drank from scum. Before putting the lives of innocents in danger, he would offer his own.

“Are you done?”

The corpse of the man was dropped unceremoniously as you joined Trevor, a light skip to your step.

─── ☾☼☽ ───

Despite adopting a nighttime lifestyle, Trevor was still human and had to conduct business during daylight hours.

He’d left your lodgings, which was an abandoned cottage, for a while. Nobody really passed through there anyway, so he thought you were safe. Worst came to worse, you could handle yourself. But as your self proclaimed protector, Trevor felt uneasy leaving you alone.

Maybe he should’ve listened to his gut because when he arrived, the door was wide open with dirty footprints leading in all the way to your coffin.

Two men had opened it—staring at the peaceful expression on your face, unaware that they were here to end you. To them it was obvious what you were. Even with that frilly white dress that made you look somewhat angelic, they couldn’t be fooled. As they raised their weapons to strike, Trevor used his whip. His sudden entrance startled them but it gave you the chance to wake up.

Eyes snapping open, you jumped onto the other man, taking both of you to the ground. His screams echoed shortly as you tore into his throat. The remaining one had no chance; Trevor left the room, closing the door on his way out, killing the light that entered and cutting off the way to escape.

Left alone with your prey, a smile crept up your face.

When you opened the door again, the dress which decorated your body was now stained red. There was hardly a clean piece on the material. Even so, you greeted Trevor with a hug.

“Trevor..”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“M-me too..”

─── ☾☼☽ ───

Forty years passed in the blink of an eye.

“You should retire.”

“Belmonts don’t retire. The only rest they get is when they’re dead.”

“Well I don’t want you to die.”

“I have to, someday.”

“No you don’t.”

It’s been like this for the past few years; Trevor was sixty now. His body didn’t look that of an aging man, but the expression on his face did. He’d seen too much and as time passed, it was harder to fight monsters by himself.

Of course you’d noticed that and suggested turning him. It was an ongoing discussion; Trevor didn’t fancy the idea of living an eternal life but the thought of leaving this earth without you was disheartening. He didn’t say it but the situation tore him apart.

There was also the fact that he was too old for you; forty years to be exact. You’d maintained your youth, looking lovely as ever. His doubts were shot down when you immediately said that you didn’t care about that.

“I just want you.”

He always kept pushing the conversation away and you were patient. Trevor supposed that you could’ve taken him by force if you wanted and when he inquired, you told him it would be like violating him, robbing him of the choice you were never given.

As understanding as you were; the time would come for him to decide and confront you about it.

That time was now.

He should have been more careful, but there was nothing to be done about it now. Trevor watched as the sun slowly descended. Would you make it here before he passed? Would he die without seeing you one last time?

When you woke night had already fallen. Trevor wasn’t home; he’d been late plenty of times before but this occasion felt different.

Upon stepping outside, the smell of blood hit you. It reeked, staining the very air. You immediately recognized the source—how could you not? You’d fed from Trevor countless times.

Rushing in that direction, you prayed to whatever entity was listening to keep Trevor safe. The world and its gods could condemn you, but not him.

Not him.

You found him sprawled on a big rock, a creature hovering over his crumpled figure. Without thinking, you tore it to pieces. Blood rained as his mangled body flew to various parts of the forest.

“Trevor!!!”

He let out a groan, which would’ve made you sigh in relief but his visible injuries proved otherwise. You were no doctor and even if you could carry him into town, it would be too late. There was no other option. If you didn’t do anything, you might lose him.

“Trevor. Let me do it.”

Still conscious enough to reply, “I don’t want to become—”

“A monster?”

“I cannot become what I sought to destroy..”

Tears escaped your eyes, blurring the image of the person whom you treasure most. “Please.. please please please..! Don’t leave me alone!”

You begged, knowing it was unfair to pressure him in such way but you couldn’t bare the thought of existing if he wasn’t present. He was your salvation, your companion…your world. And yet, he was being robbed from you.

So soon… It’s too soon!

You always imagined Trevor living well into old age, spending the remainder of his life with you, being happy. He was destined to die peacefully, not like this. Not in this shitty place, by the hands of a shitty monster!

“I can’t. I’m sorry..”

Grabbing his hands, you lowered your forehead on them, crying your heart out. It was unfair. Life was unfair.

“Kiss me.”

Despite the pain that he was in, Trevor found it in himself to smile. For you. “Kiss me one last time.” Tears dropped slowly as you heard him. Shaking your head; you couldn’t kill him.

“I want it to be you..”

His words struck a chord.

Lifting him by the neck in a gentle manner, you pushed the collar of his shirt aside, exposing his carotid. As you bit into his familiar skin once more, your other hand caressed him, trying to make this goodbye as painless as possible.

With every sip you took, tears fell down.

I love you! I love you! I love you!

His warm hand turned cold.

You held him in your arms like he once did to you, with the outmost care, with the love he deserved.

Since Trevor didn’t say where he wanted his body to be buried, you chose the nicest spot. It was a secluded place where it wouldn’t be dug up by animals or people—but not so hidden either.

Whilst cleaning the blood that covered his body and face, you found a piece of cloth with writing on it. Staring at it, you recognized the Belmont insignia. Turning the material, you managed to read the words…

Take this. Go to Alucard.

Trevor must’ve written that in his final moments; probably in case he didn’t make it before you arrived. The letters were sloppy because of the blood but you could read it well.

Clutching it to your chest, you sobbed until the light of day began to burn. For a moment you wished to stay there and disappear. Perhaps you could join Trevor.

Together even in death..

─── ☾☼☽ ───

The journey was rather long.

Looming in all its glory, Castle Dracula. You looked at the last piece of your beloved, holding it tighter in your hand.

“Okay. Let’s meet this Alucard.”

[writingrose29]

Strangers (3/3)

Pairings: Steven Grant x Reader

Summary:   When The Path Finally Diverge  

TW: Mention of Animal Death, Murder, Attempted Assault, Reference Childhood Trauma/Childhood Abuse

Word Count:   6985  

Strangers Masterlist

Ao3

Previous Chapter

Déjà Vu (Companion Piece/One-Shot Sequel)

Two Birds Masterlist

The rain had turned into a light drizzle as they walked down the dark Chicago streets. The small taps of the raindrops hitting the umbrella that his friend held in between them. He tried to offer to hold the umbrella, as it was the polite thing to do, but she merely smiled and shook her head.

The temperature had dropped significantly from the afternoon, the cool winds mixed with the rains caused him to shiver every so often while the woman seemed relatively unbothered by it. Though it seemed she was far more well prepared for the sudden cold front than he was.

They walked in an easy silence, one that is found between those who were comfortable enough to enjoy just the presence of the other. He just listened to the sound of the bustling city, another reminder that he was just another character in the grand scheme of things. Though he didn't mind the smallness of his existence, just walking by the side of his friend made him feel more important than he was.

"Do you have family here?" She asked, breaking the silence as she removed the tissue from her nose, tossing it in the nearby trash bin. Her head was tilted towards him.  "Or are they all back in England?"

Steven shook his head, "No. Actually it's just my mum and me and she is usually out traveling the world yeah. Still make sure to check in on her though," his smile started to strain slightly, "She doesn't pick up though. But I'm sure she gets the messages or else the voicemail would be full, yeah."

He spared her a glance only to quickly look away. He saw the sympathetic look on her face, one that neared pity. He supposed that she was trying to make him feel better, yet it just made him feel pathetic. Only a bit, yet the feeling made his stomach twist and churn.

"She's probably busy, the time zones probably don't help."

Steven smiled perked up slightly as her words, the comfort they brought him helped a bit. Yet he didn't miss the hesitance in her tone, only confirming that she didn't really believe her own words. It was the intent that counts he supposed.

"It must be wicked, having siblings though," Steven switched the topic not wanting to discuss his relationship with his mother anymore, "Couldn't imagine. Only child here."

His friend smiled weakly and gave him a stiff nod. "Adoptive siblings," she lightly corrected, "And it was…something. We had our highs and lows, and we probably all considered killing one another at certain points but when it comes down to it I'm stuck with them as much as those morons are stuck with me."

Steven ah'd. He was about to ask how many her parents adopted before he remembered their conversation back at the diner. The coldness she had when discussing her father.

Any questions he had about her parents died before they were born. Instead he settled with twisting the folded piece of paper that rested within his pants pocket.

"It must be nice, being close to your mom," she mused, "I barely remember my parents."

Steven looked at her with soft eyes, "I'm sorry," he said earnestly, "It must've been hard losing your parents."

His friend merely snorted, causing him to recoil slightly in surprise. Before he could ask why she just shook her head.

"They're still alive," she paused for a moment, a considering look on her face, "Well. I think they are."

"But…" he trailed off, not fully sure how to voice his confusion.

"They got rid of me when I was like…four? Five? Whenever I got my ass handed to me by that dog." She glanced upwards at the umbrella. "Maybe six years old? In that general range."

Steven felt his jaw go slack, his mind rushing in an attempt to say anything yet he came up with nothing. All he could do was look at her in abject horror, as if he had the responsibility to be outraged for her.

"I was…shuffled around before ending up there," her voice took on a chilly edge at the end.

"I'm sorry."

Now she was looking at him in confusion, "What for?"

Steven shook his head, "You're parents, they…" he couldn't hide the disgust he felt, "They just tossed you like trash. No one should be treated like that, especially not a child?"

His friend quickly looked away from his stare. She remained quiet, forcing Steven to wonder if he said the wrong thing. If his words came off too strong or harsh.

"Thank you." The way she said those two words made his anxiety wash away for he never heard such sincerity in those two words.

Steven only nodded his head, not trusting himself to talk. He already had several close calls of mucking everything up, he didn't need to do it again.

It didn’t take long for things to fall apart.

"Hey there sweet thing!" A deep voice called out as they walked by two men who were resting against one of the many buildings. Steven felt himself stiffen as he linked her arm around his and continued their walk.

"Oh come on now, don't be shy." It was a different voice this time, unlike the one previously it came from in front of them.

"Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me," he heard her mutter under breath. Irritation clearly lacing every word.

"Now we don't want any problems, yeah?  Just going on our way," Steven said, attempting to placate and prevent what he could tell was a growing issue.

"Don't want any problems," one of the men repeated, mocking his accent in a high pitched whine.

"Very clever moron, now why don't you three fuck off," his friend snapped.

One of the men stalked closer to them, beelining to the woman he had befriended. Steven stood slightly in front of her, shielding her with his body.

"Fiesty one eh. I wonder what else you can do with that tongue."

Before either he or his friend could say anything, the other two men started to crowd them. Forcing Steven to wrap his arm around the stranger's waist to usher her back, anything to gain more space from the three men. Sadly, it seemed to work more to their advantage as Steven realized they were being backed into an ally.

"How about you join us little thing. I'm sure the four of us can have a real fun time."

"Something tells me you wouldn't enjoy my version of a fun time," she replied dryly. Steven felt her shift slightly within his grasp, as if trying to move forward.

One of the men threw a lecherous grin towards her, "We'll see about that."

"No, we won't," she snapped again. Steven nodded his head, pushing down the growing fear and anxiety that was building up. Now wasn't the time to show fear.

"Now leave us bloody alone and things won't get ugly." Steven wished his voice hadn't trembled slightly when he said that. Even he nearly cringed at how weak his words were.

The punch to the face really shouldn't have been surprising. As he fell to the ground, the larger man getting another shot to his cheek followed by a gut punch, Steven could only search for his friend. His friend was now defenseless against two men that had towered over both of them.

He tried to fight back, getting a singular punch to the other man's cheek yet it seemed to barely affect him. In fact, it seemed to have injured him more than the monster of a man.

Steven noticed helplessly as the world around him started to fade to black. He couldn't pass out now, not when-

The large man who was getting ready to cave his face into the ground was shoved off him. As if an invisible wall was thrown towards him, causing him to fly back several feet. The sound of bones cracking and organs popping quickly followed and Steven could only look through his swollen eyes in horror as the spot where the man had landed was not a puddle of gore, teeth, and bile.

He turned his attention to where he last saw the stranger to see her eye staring blankly at the same spot. Her eyes were cold, as if this whole thing was an annoying inconvenience. She tilted her head towards the two men who were restraining her, her eyes morphing into a solid glowing white-gold. Suddenly the men released her as if the touch burned them. Steven watched, paralyzed, as the woman who he had laughed with, the woman who made his heart feel so much lighter than it had started, turned towards the two men. The way a predator would stalk towards their prey.

"Oh shit,"  one of the men whispered, pulling out his gun and shooting several shots into her. Steven yelled in horror as the bullets tore through her body, yet she did not fall. In fact she barely stumbled backwards. She continued to walk towards them, ignoring each bullet that made contact with her.

She grabbed their guns, only to reveal two sharp edge knives. Slowly she stepped backwards.

While Steven was unable to see what she was doing, he could see the fear and panic arise in the other men's eyes until their eyes turned hazy and milky.

He gasped as the two men started attacking each other. The blades dancing and stabbing the skin of their friend turned enemy. It was not a smooth fight, but instead reminded him of two feral beasts fighting for survival.

It wasn't long until one ended up with a knife lodged in his throat.

The hazy glazed look disappeared from the remaining man's eyes as he stared in horror at the body. If Steven hadn't just seen the man only several minutes ago, he would have had a hard time even determining what the man looked like from all the wounds.

"Please," the man begged. He turned his attention to Steven, crawling towards him with missing fingers and gouged out pieces of skin. "Please tell her to stop. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

The stranger grabbed her fallen umbrella, smacking the crawling man and sending the man's body several feet away. A painful howl tore from his throat, blood gasping his lips.

Steven wished to yell at her to stop, to end this horror. Yet he couldn't move, not his body, not his mouth. If it weren't for the constant pulsating pain he would've thought he was just a third party observer.

"Don't worry," she said, her voice once again coming out like static, "I won’t kill you."

Steven watched as the man looked relieved for a split second before he looked down at his body in horror. A scream escaped his lips as he grabbed the knife from the neck of the man he had just killed and started stabbing himself all over his body. As if trying to stab some unseeable creature that lurked on or within his body. He started with his legs, before making his way up to his face.

Steven nearly threw up when he watched the man stab himself through the ear, promptly toppling over. He stared at him, waiting for him to move, but remained still.

The stranger now returned her attention towards him, her eyes no longer that eerie white-gold color.

She took a step forward, he recoiled away.

He saw a flash of hurt cross her fate before resignation. She held up her hands, crouching down to join him at his eye level. Like she was trying to comfort a petrified animal.

Steven internally snorted, it wasn't far from how he felt.

"You're injured," she pointed out softly, "Probably a couple broken ribs. Maybe a slight concussion."

She tried to take another step forward, but stopped the moment Steven shook his head.

"Don't," he spoke loudly, "don't come closer."

She sighed, taking a seat on the ground while keeping her distance from him.

"If you don't let me help you, you will go into shock. Probably not good with those injuries."

He shook his head, "I don't need help from you. I…I just need to get out of here." He tried to push himself up, ignoring the igniting pain that flared up in his body. He barely managed to stand up when his legs gave out from underneath him.

Before he could topple to the ground, he felt two arms gently hold him up before helping him back to the ground. He stared at the stranger with fearful eyes, his heart pounding in his chest.

"If…if you try anything I'll punch you. I can throw a good punch."

She raised her eyebrows, "Yeah, I saw." Gently she touched the side of his forehead with one hand and his swollen eye with the other, a burning sensation tingled at her touch. He went to swing at her but she swiftly caught his wrist, forcing him to touch his forehead.

Steven's eyes widened as he felt skin. No cuts, no gashes, just skin. Swiftly he felt his eye only to miss the swollen bump he knew should've been there. He forcibly blinked, his vision rapidly recovering.

"Can I heal your ribs now?"

"...You…you aren't going to hurt me?"

She stared at him, as if he had grown three heads. At this point, he wouldn't have been surprised if he had.

"Of course not," she sounded as if the idea itself was preposterous. As if she didn't just massacre three giant men. "Why would I do that? Especially after I just fixed your face?"

He glanced at the bodies. Well the two bodies and the pile of bile. The urge to vomit was growing again.

"They hurt you," she stated plainly.

"So you had to kill them?"

"One technically committed murder-suicide."

He stared at her, mouth agape at her words, of the nonchalance of her tone. How was this the same person he spent the day with?

She sighed, bringing her hands to his ribcage.

"Yes," she answered as the burning sensation came back, "So I killed them."

She glanced over his face, touching his forehead slightly, moving one of his misplaced  curls away from his forehead before dragging her finger down to his cheek lightly. "No need to swap out, I only want to talk to you."

Her words made no sense to him, yet she didn't elaborate. Instead she shook her head at his confused expression, stepping away from him and heading to the bodies.

Steven watched as she stiffly walked, how she nearly stumbled with each step like her legs were boneless. Her hands were on the wall, most likely being the only thing keeping her sturdy. She waved her hand over the corpses and the gruesome mess where the bile rested, each one turning into dust that was carried into the wind as if nothing happened here.

The only proof that three murders were committed only lived on in their memory.

"Like dust in the wind," she mused, her voice hoarse. She rested her head on the opposite alley wall, coughing harshly. Her body continued to shiver and Steven was starting to doubt that it was from the cold. Her skin seemed pasty, a sheen layer of sweat covering her. He glanced at where her body should've been riddled with bullet holes only to spot none. The only proof it was her torn up outfits and the coating of blood.

"How did you do that? All of that?"

The stranger shrugged, her body trembling. "Born with it I guess."

"A mutant, just…just like what was on the telly." He spoke mostly to himself, shifting his gaze away from the sickly stranger. His brain started turning, as if he was figuring out a puzzle and he finally found the last piece to it.

His mind flashed back to the news coverage, the images of the decimated school. The dark blood that stained the charred walls and floors.

"You…you said you were here for a job didn't you?" He spoke slowly, watching as the woman bent down, placing her hands on her knees. Her breathing came out haggard and he was sure he could see her muscles straining.

He didn't wait for her to respond, he was almost positive she wasn't going to anyways.

"You killed those nuns, those teachers. Didn't you?" The accusation was met with silence.

"You slaughter them, just like you did to those three men," his pitch was rising in hysterics, his heart rapidly pounding in his chest.

"We are not having this discussion again," she spat out, her face contronting into a painful expression briefly.

Steven felt as if ice water had been doused all over him. "Again?" He uttered, "What do you mean again?"

Her eyes widened before she snapped them closed, biting her lip harshly. Her fingers rubbing her temples as she refused to answer him.

Yet for him that was an answer within itself.

"Did you do something to my mind," he all but shouted, panicking, "Oh god you've been in my mind all day haven't you. Just like you did to those chaps. I thought I was going crazy."

"Shut up," she hissed, her fingers moving quicker.

"No, you don't get to do that," he pointed at her, his finger trembling, "You can't control me or what I do, not anymore."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up," her words were quiet and quick. Her breathing was rapidly increasing.

Steven went to speak again, to tell her off for committing such a violation when he noticed how the world around started shaking. The bricks of the alley walls seemed to creak and bend near her. The ground forming cracks beneath her feet, moving outwards at a rapid pace. The air around him felt electric, as if static was slowly building up and about implode.

He glanced at his arm with surprise as he watched all the hairs stick up. Quickly he brought his hands to his hair only to feel that same static pulsating around.

Steven slowly looked back at the stranger, eyes wide in shock as he watched an aura of violet appear around her body, as it slowly pulsated forward engulfing everything in its path.

"Hey," his voice came out weakly, "Stop this, why don't you."

She didn't respond, she wasn't even looking at him anymore.

"Hey," he repeated, "I don't like this. Stop please."

The street lights were flickering rapidly, he could see the same happening to several apartment buildings through the windows.

When he got no response he shifted tactics, desperate to stop what was going on.

"I'm sorry, yeah, for my words. I…didn't mean to upset you. Just a bit angry, that's all. But you can't exactly blame me. After everything that has happened-"

S̴̫̰̬̩͈̖̼̠̱̗̘̬̏̀̆̍̕ẖ̸̩͚̾u̷̹̠̦̝̼̼̝̩̯̮̝̎́̇̊̋͂̕͜ţ̸͎̻̫͈̯̥̠̞̝̅͂̈̉̈́̃̑̏́͝͠ ̷̧̨̙̙͙̣̼͚̠͌̈́̚ͅų̴̦̺͔͙͔̽̏̎͌̃̈́͒̓̕͘̕ͅp̵̛̥̘̝̞̘̳̺̊̃͐́̿̐̎͂͆̏̚͜

Her eyes met his, those glowing white-gold eyes, and he felt a sharp tingling in his skull.

He went to speak, yet his mouth refused to move. It was as if his jaw was locked shut. In a panic he grasped his lips, his fingers trying to claw their way in between his lips as to pry his mouth open.

Yet before his nails could cut through his lips, he felt a wave of ease wash over him, removing any sense of panic. Why was he worrying in the first place? His hands limply fell to his side as he let himself nearly drown in the sea of calmness that filled his mind.

He watched as the stranger stared at him with those glowing eyes, watched as they widened and she gasped in horror.

Suddenly the tingling sensation had disappeared, as if it was never there in the first place. The intoxicating calmness was gone, leaving only a sense of confusion and mild panic.

The biggest relief was when he opened his mouth, his jaw slightly popping.

"What-" he glanced around in a daze, "What did you do?"

He stared at her terror and guilt stricken face, her eyes back to normal as she held her hands up. She attempted to take a step backwards, to put as much distance between herself and him only to collapse under her own weight.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice trembling, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry"

Steven watched as she curled herself up, her continuous muttering of apologies filling the night as she yanked at her hair. He tried to muster the righteous anger that had taken hold of him prior but as he watched her, this woman that had previously oozed a lackadaisical type of confidence regressed into an almost childlike state of terror and shame, he couldn't. Instead he just felt pity, the urge to comfort her despite what just happened.

Why should he beat someone while they were down, when they seemed no more than a terrified animal.

"Hey, hey, hey," he soothed, crouching down. "It's okay." It wasn't, not close, and it seemed she saw through his lie as well.

As he slowly made his way towards her, he watched as she peaked a glance at him. A gasp escaped his lips as he saw blood not just gushing from both nostrils, but from her eyes as well. Her skin took on an ashy ill coloring, causing the deep crimson coloring of the blood to pop out even more.

She shuffled back into the wall even more, like a wounded prey trying to escape the predator looming over them. Before he could try to reassure her, she leaned over and puked.

For the third time thus far did the feeling of absolute horror come over him as he watched the stranger puke not food, but blood.

He couldn't stop the wince as the thick iron smell permeated the air.

"Oh bloody hell," he muttered as he rushed towards her. She weakly tried to move anyway, shaking her head, yet he just rubbed her back softly.

He froze slightly as she flinched away from his touch, her body growing tense. "Is it okay if I touched you?" He asked softly, guilt adding to the melting pot of mixed emotions within him.

She looked at him with bloody tears, a look of confusion on her face.

"Why?" She croaked out, her breath smelling like rust. "Why are you still here?"

Why are you helping me? Was the unasked question he figured.

Her words struck him. Why was he still here, helping out a stranger who had killed three people, who had been playing mind games with him like he was just an object of entertainment.

He should be running, calling the bobbies to inform them of what just happened.

But he couldn't.

Maybe it was the fact he remembered the kindness she showed him, even if it was most likely fake. Or the fact that she did save his life, or even the remorse and horror she showed.

All he really knew was that he couldn't abandon her, or anyone really, in the state that she was in. He would-he could never be that cruel.

"You need help." Was the only thing he could think of.

The stranger merely stared at him as if he had grown three heads, and he wouldn't be surprised if he did after everything that he had seen today.

Slowly she nodded her head, bloodied tears streaming down her face as she returned to put her head in between her legs.

Her body still tensed and flinched when he placed his hand on her back. He waited until he felt the tension ease before once again rubbing circles on her spine.

"Is…" he cleared his throat, "Is that normal?"

"The nose? Yes." He could hear how tired she was, as if every word took out so much energy from her.

She didn't need to say anything more, the implication was clear enough for him.

"We should get you to a hospital yeah?"

The stranger shook her head, "I'll heal. I always do."

He thought back to the lack of bullet holes and nodded reluctantly. Instead he just sat by her side, continuing to soothe her gently.

It was then he noticed how everything around them seemed untouched, as if nothing had happened here. He wondered if the people around them even cared about how their seizuring lights had suddenly stopped or if they just moved on without a care in the world of what it could've meant.

It felt like an eternity had passed as they sat in the dirty alleyway, with her constant trembling and his helplessness on what to do. Yet he decided to trust her for it seemed she knew what was best on how to deal with this.

Slowly she looked up at her, her face returning to a healthier shade, the blood now appearing brownish as it died under her eyes and down her cheeks.

He raised his hand slowly, allowing her to register it before gently rubbing off the dried blood to the best of his ability.

"Sorry that we don't have another napkin," he muttered.

She smiled weakly, "It's fine. Thank you."

With tired eyes she rested her head on his shoulder. He tensed slightly before relaxing under her touch. The unease wasn't completely gone; however, he couldn't get over the violation of his mind. How easily she was able to control his movements.

"I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have slipped. I should've been better."

He combed his finger through her hair, his fingers gently detangling the knotted curls.

"I know, I know." He really didn't. In fact he had no clue what really happened.

"Xavier said it is something about energy. Or maybe it was electric fields? I tend to zone out whenever he lectures me." Her words were soft, the hoarseness was nearly gone yet he could still hear the strain in her voice.

"Did you read my mind?" His voice betrayed him, showing the terror that he was desperately trying to contain.

She shook her head, "You look like a confused puppy. Guess I can't blame you on that front. It's been a night."

Her words only brought some relief.

"Is…is all that bleeding common?"

"No, it could be due to lack of use or…" she trailed off as she chewed her bottom lip. "I'll just ask Hank when I get to New York. Just to check."

She removed herself from his grasp, Steven ignored the disappointment and longing that he felt the moment her warmth disappeared.

"The kids are safe by the way," she glanced at him, "Left them at a neutral party's place. No need for them to get into any political mess, not after what they've been through."

He let out a sigh of relief, even if that did just confirm how she massacred an entire teaching staff.

"I'll answer any questions you have," she continued, "only until we reach a hotel or motel. I owe you that much, and more, after…" she glanced down at her feet.

"You…you still are going to walk with me?"

She shrugged, "As you said, gotta balance my scale."

"I don't think helping me find a hotel will be enough for that." The words left his mouth before he could properly register them, wincing at the harshness they carried. Yet she just laughed, not a full body laugh but more of an amused chuckle.

"Yeah, you're right bout that. But I've probably been damned since the day I was born." She walked forward, the strength that had dissipated seemed to have come back to her. She grabbed her umbrella, using it as a cane.

"You, you shouldn't say that. That can't be true."

She raised her eyebrows at him, "Did you know," she spoke slowly, "That in the late 1990s, near the end of June. Over one hundred people died in one night at a hospital."

His eyes widened as he shook his head. She continued to stare at him, holding out her hand to help him up. He grasped it, allowing her to yank him forward and back on his feet.

"They said it was a freak power outage, hit the generators too," she continued as they walked out of the alleyway, "An unforeseeable tragedy."

Her umbrella tapped against the sidewalk, echoing in the nearly emptied street. Steven remained silent, unsure where the story was heading and whether he should say anything at all.

"8:35 at night, all those people died the moment I had my first cry. I guess being born was traumatic enough for me to fuck up the electricity of a couple blocks," she side eyed him, "I think that would constitute being born damned."

Steven shook his head, "But…you were just an infant. You, you couldn't possibly understand what you have done, what you were doing."

"Tell that to the families of the dead."

Steven closed his mouth, biting his tongue to stop himself from starting an argument. While she had a point, his mind was stuck on the fact she was only a baby. A newly born infant who was just introduced into a scary new world. How could she blame herself for something like that.

"Though, it wasn't like I set my mom on fire when I was born," she mused.

"I'm sorry what?"

"My brother Adrian, he set the entire hospital room on fire when he was born. The old bastard took him in the moment he heard of it."

"Are all your siblings mutants?"

She nodded her head, "That was the reason he collected us. Why, I'm not sure and I don't care to find out. I don't think any of us do."

His mind shifted back to her parents, "Is that why they gave you up?" He shut his mouth the moment the question left his lips, his eyes wide in horror. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that."

The woman shrugged, though he could see the tension in her body. "Yeah it was. I think it became dormant after the hospital incident and then the dog attack happened. Something about it just turned it back on and it just never turned off," she took a deep breath, "It took awhile for them to get rid of me. I wouldn't let them."

"You wouldn't let them?" He gave her a questioning look.

"You'd be surprised how much power the brain has over your actions, your thoughts, your emotions. Over everything really."

A shiver danced over his body as he thought back to the alleyway. The hazy eyes of the two men. He wondered if his eyes had the same glossy sheen over them.

"I didn't know what I was doing, I just wanted to stay with my parents. To keep the idea of a happy family." A distant look grew in her eyes, as if she was lost in thought.

Steven couldn't bring himself to ask anything more about that topic. Something about it seemed too personal, too raw for him to have any knowledge of. The remorse in each of her words added to the conflicted feeling that stayed within him. It was difficult to feel only anger towards her, over something she did not choose to have and seemed to have very little control of.

"I once removed my brother's consciousness and placed in one of those plasma orbs," she spoke suddenly and fondly.

Steven whipped his head towards her, befuddled at both the rapid change of topic and the topic she picked. "I'm sorry what? He couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it.

She had a small little smirk, "In my defense, he mutilated both my hair and my sister's. And this was after he shoved me down a couple flights of stairs like the little cheat he was. And in my defense, I wasn't expecting it to work but boy it was so worth the punishment."

"Blimey! What-how can you say that so nonchalantly?"

"It's just sibling things and besides I put him back together." Her smile had returned and he found himself pleased that happiness was a good look on her.

"Was that one of the low moments you mentioned?"

She shook her hand, "Nah. I would consider that pretty average."

"Average?" He sputtered, "Bloody hell, what would be considered low?"

She paused her walking, causing Steven to stumble slightly. He watched as a look of consideration rested on her face.

"Sorry," she said after a moment, "Was trying to think of one of the more minor low points." She continued on with her fast paced walking, swinging the umbrella anxiously.

"Sir Hops-A-Lot was a big one. He was this little bunny we uh…rescued from a pet store. Cutest little guy. Black and white spots, big floppy ears. We all fell in love with it the moment we saw it."

She cleared her throat, staring at the moon for a moment before returning her stare towards him. His eyes never left her, almost entranced by her words. For a moment he thought he was before realizing he did not feel any static or tingling sensation.

"We weren't allowed to have any pets, our father," she rolled her eyes at the term, "considered them needless distractions. So we kept him on the downlow. Always moving him around the house. For a while we thought we were clever, getting away with it right under his nose."

She exhaled sharply.

"You…you don't have to continue with the story," Steven said lightly, "If you don't want to." A part of him wished that she didn't for he was sensing he wasn't going to like the ending. "But, I am just a stranger, yeah? No judgment here."

"We had a bad week, lots of failures and punishments for being a collective disappointment for him. The usual. One night we all got wasted. Stole from some liquor store that Allen usually got his supplies from. Nothing kills the edge and numbs the pain like underage drinking, pretty sure that was Allen's motto."

She shook her head, "Next day was hell. We were all hungover, except for Allen who usually was in a constant state of being inebriated. I remember us stumbling to the meeting room, all dressed up picture perfect as we were supposed to. We were waiting for what felt like hours until Dad came down, holding the rabbit by the scruff of his neck."

Steven felt his stomach plummet, his brow furrowing in concern.

"He went on a lecture, how he decided to let us keep up the charade with the rabbit as long as it didn't affect our training and how he was unsurprised about the result. And then he pulled out his stupid fucking gun," she paused when Steven inhaled sharply, "I remember how he pointed it at the rabbit's face. It's dark eyes staring at all of us, not having a clue what was happening. I can remember how we were all frozen in horror, how Kiara nearly gasped but managed to stop herself by biting her lip. And then he turned his attention to me."

" 'You have til the count of three to stop me', he said. Then he started counting."

Steven placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it slightly.

"I tried but I couldn't. I really did try," she glanced downwards for a brief second before sighing, "We had rabbit for dinner that night. He made sure we cleaned our plates. I think most of us threw up that night the first chance we got. Then there was the whole blame game and," she waved her hand.

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't…I can't even imagine," he stumbled over his words, his tongue felt like putty in his mouth.

"It's the past. There were worse moments."

"Worse?" He exclaimed. She merely shrugged.

"I guess it was better than the Re-Education Schools and Centers. Barely, but I guess that's something. Like…he fed us?"

"Oh he did the bare minimum, give him a bloody medal."

His friend snorted, a fact he took pride in. His mind drifted back to the mention of the Re-Education Center, and decided perhaps it was okay what she did. That while he did not exactly agree with it, he wasn't going to preach morality to her. Not on that.

"I think you were going too kind with calling him an old bastard."

"Yeah, the term I usually use isn't for polite company."

"Well, now I'm curious."

She merely shook her head, a small smirk on her lips.

A sense of peace grew within him and he hoped that she felt it too. Steven watched as she stared into the night sky, a small smile on her lips.

He truly hoped that she felt some type of peace.

The walk to the first hotel that had "Vacancy" lit up in the darkness was an uneventful one considering what had happened earlier.

Instead of pressing her for more information, he decided to digest what she had told him.

There was one question he wished he had asked, if only to have what he believed to be refuted.

Why did she tell him anything? Him, a complete stranger who could easily call the bobbies on her. Him, who saw too much.

"Well," she mused, "This is where we part." She tilted her head at him, "Toss me your wallet."

He threw her a confused glance but decided to listen anyway. He watched as she opened it, her finger lightly grazing the inside before throwing it back to him.

"What-"

"You'll see." She took a step towards him, a sad smile on her lips.

"You're going to make me forget," he muttered, glancing at his shoes before making direct eye contact, "Aren't you?"

He wished for her to refute him, to vehemently deny his accusation. But she didn't, she just nodded her head.

"Was…was this always your plan?" He felt betrayed, how could he not. He just felt like some pawn in a game he wasn't aware he was playing.

"It was a toss up," she admitted, "It was why I was doing slight editing throughout the day. I didn't want to mess with your head, especially with everything going on up in there. But I don't really have a choice after what happened."

He scoffed, "Well you can choose not to. My lips are sealed."

She nodded, "I know. But any lip can be loosened and I have others to think of, you included with that." Her gaze drifted off, a small winced appearing on her face as if an unpleasant thought crossed her mind.

Steven shoved his hands back into his pant pockets, sharply inhaling as his fingers lightly grazed the loose piece of paper that he had forgotten.

"Wait," he said, holding his hand out with the paper stuck in between his fingers. "Uh, here. Have this. I meant to give you this earlier but…" he trailed off, shoving the paper into her hands.

He watched as she unfolded it, her brows furrowing as she glanced over it.

"It's my number," Steven explained lamely, shifting his weight between his feet, "You said no names, but nothing about phone numbers so I thought…" he cleared his throat, "You don't have to call it or anything. Just something to remind you of me if you are ever in London yeah. Well that is if you ever want to go to London, or even want to meet up again."

She smiled, folding the paper back up and placing it inside her jacket pocket.

"If our paths ever cross again, I will seek you out. Maybe even give you my name."

"Pinky promise?" He held up his pinky, his cheeks warm up under her gaze.

She grasped his pinky with her own, "Pinky promise."

She took another step towards him, until they were around an inch or two apart. "You are a good guy," she whispered in his ear, "Stay safe okay."

Before he could respond, she kissed his cheek.

Steven felt his body almost melt under her, as he wished to pull her into him, to engulf her lips with his. The smell of roses from her perfume engulfed his senses until he once again felt a burning sensation on the temple of his forehead.

Steven opened his eyes to be meeted with darkness. In a daze he turned around releasing a relieved sigh when his eyes caught the Hotel sign.

The lady at the front desk was curt with him, though he couldn't blame her as he did show up with no reservation and in the dead of night. He was glad she didn't question the shock he was sure he shown on his face when he realized how many hundred dollar bills his wallet contained.

Instead she seemed pleased, handing him his room key and going back to her miniature TV that was playing some type of soap opera.

The room was nice, good for a short stay. It was an odd pale mustard yellow coloring that made it seem dated but it covered the essentials. Plus he would be leaving for London as soon as he could.

Steven collapsed onto the bed, shifting at the firmness of the mattress. Quickly he flipped open his phone, dialing up the only number he ever called.

"Hey Mum, just wanted to let you know I found a place to stay. It's a bit small, but fine enough. I uh, I met a kind elderly couple in the park. They gave me some suggestions of where to eat and where I could find a place to stay. Decided to head to this American diner, it was fine for what it was. But yeah, nothing very eventful…just wanted to let you know I'm alright," he yawned, "I'll call you tomorrow yeah. Take care."

It wasn't long for him to drift off to sleep, the smell of roses that lingered on his clothing only made it easier.

[jae-canikeepyou]

| adjacent | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 18k+ (unedited & not proof read)

summary: jaehyun turns into a golden retriever whenever the day reaches the most beautiful time; golden hour. a secret he kept his entire life & always wonders how long he could keep it, especially when you suddenly showed up.

genre: au + golden retriever!jaehyun + hs!nct

a/n: idk what came to me as i brainstormed this but by now, nctzens and valentines should know jaehyun’s a golden retriever :3 so i decided to write a plot for this adorable fact T^T heavily inspired with fruits basket and beauty & the beast! i really hope you’ll like it. lmk what you think! enjoy reading lovelies! ~j

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time was ticking real quick.

he rushed through the bustling people, avoiding the narrow crowds and jay-walked countless pedestrian crossings. he needed to hide. no one should see him transform. there was little time left. why was he so careless each time this happened? his parents and younger brother warned him to be alert at all times. did he listen? no, never did. they compared him to a rock— hard headed and stubborn. but all he ever wanted was to be free.

curses! just a little more, a few metres more! he pant as he tried to catch air. he felt his flesh tingling, his senses doubling and tripling. jaehyun peddled as fast as he could, at least reach the line of bushes by the basketball court. hopping over the plants, he threw his bag aside and jumped off his bike before bracing for the fall.

the now broken bell sounded horrible as jaehyun’s brother caught up to him with his skateboard. “dad’s gonna kill you if you ask for another bike for your birthday.” he sighed looking at the loosened chain while picking up the single-track vehicle and the scattered clothes.

jaehyun transformed to a golden retriever puppy and struggled to come out of the bushes with his tiny paws and body. when he succeeded, he scratched the back of his ears to brush off the leaves stuck to them. “won’t happen, sungchan. i’ve already saved up enough by then. i’m not gonna burden dad for my wants.”

sungchan pressed the bridge of his nose. “you’re kinda being a burden now.” he picked the animal— his brother— up and put him inside his coat, as well as the belongings on the ground. he hopped on the bike and headed towards jaehyun’s campus.

“what did you say?” jaehyun barked tried opening the zipper from the inside of sungchan’s coat.

“nothing.” the younger excused. “but can i have your bike if you actually plan to get a new one?”

“ugh just bring me to the court. i’ll be late for my morning practice.”

the brothers were able to communicate telepathically as they’re related and were both cursed. instead of golden hour, sungchan transforms during the blue hour, which occured at twilight. tracing back to their ancestors, all were cursed for unknown inexplainable circumstances. they tried breaking it with all they could. every idea ended a failure. so they had to live through it, adjust, adapt and be alert.

they bumped into ten, kun and jungwoo, who were doing warm-ups and they simultaneously trailed their eyes and heads towards the jung brothers. seeing the huge pouch on sungchan’s stomach area, they all cracked up and checked the time. “oh yeah, it’s sunrise.” jungwoo spun the ball on his pointer finger.

ten grabbed the pup with one hand and jaehyun barked at him but he couldn’t understand a thing. although he was confused, he continued to carry him in his palm because jaehyun’s response was funny. “what is he trying to say?” he chuckled and poked the pup’s snout.

“he said ‘it hurts. put me down idiot’. i have to be honest with you hyung. holding us by the back of the neck really hurts.” unlike his brother, he was rather calm and collected despite already imagining the pain.

“you’re a blue holland lop bunny. it’s normal to carry you like this too right?” ten showed the pup to sungchan.

kun facepalmed at the question and took jaehyun. “no dimwit it’s not normal. sorry jae. you know he just likes teasing your puppy form.”

“‘wait until i turn back’- ugh seriously do i really have to translate hyung’s words every time?” sungchan gave jaehyun’s clothes and bike to jungwoo. “you know what to do when he transforms back yeah?”

they nodded and upon seeing the kid leave and headed towards his campus, jaehyun couldn’t wait to turn human. he would always beat ten up almost immediately— sometimes forgetting that he was naked. for the dudes it was alright. the problem was if he was with girls, though he hasn’t encountered anyone so far. he hoped he didn’t have to.

the harsh drills from basketball practice already sucked the energy out of jaehyun. not only that it was physically tiring, transforming into a dog twice a day before that have doubled the strain. then him transforming back would cause migraines and painful joints, as they were the aftermath of the curse. he had to keep his title of m.v.p and captain since the told them there was a possibility of him of having a scholarship for college. he couldn’t let a minor pain hinder that chance. not ever.

however, ten and the others could read his suffering. to them it was obvious through his exhales and slowing speed. hiding it was of no use. jungwoo ruffled his hair with a clean towel after shower. “can’t you just be like that dog in the movie ‘up’? have a collar that translates barks into actual language?”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and wore his black t-shirt. “it’s a damn movie, jungwoo. the world might’ve evolved and advanced in technology and even if they were to exist they’d be expensive. can’t afford that.”

“you sound negative, don’t you have any hope at all?” kun joined the conversation.

“never had any. stopping this curse is impossible. it’s been generations. my dad’s still suffering too. i have to find a way.” he fixed his black cap in front of a mirror.

but he knew there wasn’t. silence loomed above them as the team struggled to continue the topic. they tried not to bring it up yet each time they did, it always ended awkwardly and badly. it was either they riled jaehyun’s mood— mostly ten— or jaehyun himself was building his own raincloud by sulking about it and not looking at the bright side.

how ironic it was, he thought. generally speaking, even though being golden had good intentions and the breed was meant to bring happiness to others, he felt the total opposite. if he had to describe it, it was all insecurity, lowered his self-esteem and hopelessness only increased over the years as he grew.

thinking about it, he slammed the locker a little too hard that its components caused it to bounce back.. and also added to fuel of his anger. “break that again you’ll be in the coach’s office.” kun tied his shoelaces and the others agreed.

“my dad is the coach, what do you mean?” he questioned at the stupidity.

“you didn’t show up the last time it broke. we got the punished in your stead. uncle wasn’t happy.” ten got out of the showers last, a towel was wrapped around his waist before the younger ones were scarred for a second.

“it was sunset and i transformed! of all people dad’s supposed to understand! i-” jaehyun rubbed his face quite agressively and headed straight outside.

“oi i’m still changing! wait up!”

jaehyun kicked the bike’s stand attached to the rear wheel. he and his father didn’t have the best relationship compared with other kids, but he could say that it was better than the relationship he had with his mother. she loved her little family, yet over time the curse grew onto her. her husband would turn into a werewolf at full moon. and until now, even though that happened once month, she thought a part of him wasn’t the same person she loved before. even more so, when her sons were just the same as him.

your mom’s delusional! she doesn’t love us! she fears us!

that feeling stayed in the boys’ mind until they were old and mature enough to comprehend the situation they’re in. why couldn’t she love them like any mom would? she was no different from an animal mother abandoning her calf/pup just because they were or had defects.

mr. jung tried his best to be the perfect father, for only he understood what his two sons were going through, as they might go through decades with it, just like he was. jaehyun still remembered his first transformation, he only had puppy paws, but that was a sign to mr. jung that he indeed inherited the curse. when sungchan grew a tail at a fine age of one, their father gave up his 9-5 hour office job to tend the boys. and that was before he became jaehyun’s basketball coach. now he could monitor them at a close range.

much to jaehyun’s dismay and for that reason, he felt more caged and overprotected.

—

“y/n! coach’s looking for you!” your classmate called.

no.. you groaned. again?..

it was already after school hours. you slouched on your desk as you covered your ears, remembering the errands he asked you to do previously. you didn’t know why, but ever since you had detention because you refused to run a 1600m marathon for an assessment, seemed like the other punishment was that he passed his job to you. that was a month ago, and today was the tenth time.

but curious as you were to find answers, you brushed it off and tried not to show any remorse. it’s all for conduct, you kept telling yourself. the whistle echoed the entire hallway and jolting you up in your seat. “okay, okay! hold on!” you yelled from the back of the classroom.

as coach jung stood rather comfortably outside the room, he gestured you to walk faster with a dimpled smile. “y/n! took you approximately three minutes to walk here.” he laughed and handed you several files and a zipper folder.

“thanks for counting?..” you replied with a confused and questioning tone. “coach, what’s this?”

“all school sports teams will have an annual retreat before their playoff seasons. i need a representing manager since ours was admitted to a hospital just today.” he pointed at the list. you followed his finger and it landed on your name.

“sounds like to me it’s more practice. and you want me to go because?” you raised your brows. he asked you to follow him to the gymnasium, in which it was making you recall all those extra detention after school.

“to make up with all of the p.e assessments you ‘purposely’ missed.” he said proudly while looking at his team doing drills. but he didn’t get any response from you. when he looked on his side, you were gone and ran across the basketball gym. “y/f/n!”

you squealed as embarrassment crawled your entire body. not only were you escaping from coach, you were disrupting the team’s practice and hitting couple of duffel bags and water bottles. “ah! sorry! coming through!”

*whistles* “after her!” coach jung’s voice added an extra chill to your spine.

“ugh why us?” ten groaned with sore muscles as coach gestured to them widely.

“just go.” kun panted.

then you heard a several footsteps turn into drums until they sounded a stampede. you jumped on your toes as you passed the line of showers cubicles. good thing you haven’t seen a naked man, or else you’d faint without knowing. you turned around and went straight ahead then to your right, and hid in a random room. the echoing voices and squeaking friction between shoes and waxed floors were cut to a silence, like your ears were muffled instantly.

your wobbly legs were tired and you were sighing in exhaustion and crouched down against the door. great, i’ll stay out of their sight- “what are you doing here?” you heard a low voice and froze on the spot. “only members of the basketball team can access the meeting room.”

that sounded like the captain.

“did you hear what i just said?” he raised his brows. you slowly lifted your eyes from his shoes to his legs, then to his built and face. “well if you’re a nobody you might as well leave before coach arrives. you interrupted my recording-”

“i heard you jung jaehyun.” you tsked and realised you had the name list on your hand. “ah, as a matter of fact, i can be here because i am part of the team. my name’s on the list.” you grabbed a pen and ticked the empty box on the paper.

what are you saying, stupid?!

“uh-huh..” jaehyun trailed, putting down his camera.

“y-yeah!” you stuttered. “you heard me.”

the door shook by the loud knocks from the other side. on the frosted window, you could see four figures. orange and black jerseys, they must be the team members. “ah! the door’s locked! she’s definitely in here coach!” one said.

“i’ll toss you the keys!” he yelled. oh crap. you were caught in between. your heart patterned with the knocks.

“you look terrified after hearing coach, y/n.” the chair squeaked from the weight. “i’m guessing you’re that troublesome student he has a hard time dealing with recently?”

of course captain knows you. great reputation you have, y/n.

“so? what’s your point?” you stood up to see his amused grin.

“say hello to a term’s detention.” jaehyun waved as the door swung open, revealing ten, kun, jungwoo and.. the coach.

you sighed heavily and dropped the papers. the coach crossed his arms and you lowered your head a little. “you plan to escape again y/n? then i shouldn’t hear any excuses from you. you’ll join us for the twelve day retreat. period.” he picked the papers up and wrote something.

“sir i can’t be with a bunch of jocks for that long!” your whine had the captain blocking his ears. “i have debate finals to attend to.”

jaehyun flinched at the high pitched sound and rolled his eyes. what was your deal? it was rude of you to suddenly barge into athlete’s quarters but judging them for that was even more rude of you. he had to shut you up at some point.

“so much excuses.” he played with his nails and to you he looked more amused than ever. you rolled your eyes at his chuckle and know he would target you from now on. “dad, y/n told me she’s ‘part of the team’.” he played his video that recorded your voice, clearly saying what jaehyun heard.

coach jung looked rather surprised, but his smile definitely screamed happy. “oh? that’s all i needed to hear. welcome, uh- temporarily. i’ll inform mrs. park about the situation.”

nononono- “i did this.” you were at a loss for words. “i won’t be able to compete in the debate.”

“yeah pretty much you made the wrong decision.” jaehyun stood to tower over you. “i’d like to see you suffer our drills-”

four knocks cut jaehyun off. “oh no, she’ll only do those for two days.”

you swifted your head in confusion, seeing coach jung wrote down your schedule on the white board. you were packed and it’s a lot worse than the actual assessment planned in school. “and what about the rest of the ten days?!” you exasperated that your hairtie snapped at the right moment, and your hair fell in sightful way.

“ooh that was hot.” ten commented in soft whisper, causing kun and jungwoo nudge him on the each side.

“she’ll be our manager for the remaining days, keep track of our drills and score points, or other extra things i needed a hand with while taeyang’s in the hospital.”

jaehyun rested his palms on his waist, swirling his tongue inside with a provoking gaze at you. “see if you can keep up, manager.” he chuckled.

you checked the time, it was nearing 5 p.m. “you know what, give me a day to process all this sport thing. it’s close to evening and i have to get going-”

“it’s evening already?” jaehyun cut you off as he looked outside the window.

the sun glistening at the distance while the sky showed a pretty ombré of warm colours. his senses doubled again and his whole body ached. he had to make you leave. it was already enough that his friends knew about his situation. there’d only be more trouble if you knew too.

“uh duh? the clock’s right there.” you pointed.

“hm, anyway you have to leave now.”

“sheesh i was going to anyway.” you rolled your eyes, but felt jaehyun’s palms behind your back. “hey stop pushing!”

“you’re too slow!” his tone changed. different than the usual because panic was what you felt from his palms. “quickly!”

the rest of the boys could tell you were pissed. they couldn’t understand why jaehyun had to make a fuss out of it when all he had to do was to kindly ask you. using force would only cause misunderstandings, like what’s happening now. “hey what’s your deal?!” you flicked his arms. “do you like to push people around? just because i’ll be with the team for the next two weeks, that doesn’t mean you could treat me like this already!”

“tsk so noisy! you’re wasting time! just leave would you?!” jaehyun turned you around towards the door.

this time you wouldn’t budge. “no jung jaehyun i need an explanation with this stupid attitude of yours!” you wriggled off of his hold, pushing him back with pats several times more that he stepped backwards.

“i don’t owe you an explanation!”

“you definitely do?!”

“why can’t you listen to what i say?”

“why can’t you stop being pushy, pushy?”

“you’re the one pushing me! time’s ticking y/n!”

the continuous back and forth of bickers and the war of pushing each other was an idiotic sight. your wrist was in jaehyun’s palms as he gripped you tighter. “i don’t care captain jerk! it wouldn’t bother you or hurt you to just give me one reason- and he slammed the door at my face! argh!”

jaehyun smirked wide and proudly knowing that he ‘won’ argument. silencing you was better than letting you see his other form. the boys stared him once he turned around to face them. “what?” he questioned,

“definitely not the right way to treat a girl.” they all said simultaneously.

“you know how bad it makes me feel when you all said it at the same time?” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

he knew well enough that this wasn’t his usual self. he’s good friends with you despite being in different teams of the school. you both took literature as your electives. sometimes you’d let him copy your notes when he had matches or leave small appetisers and juice cartons when he was tired and vice versa.

but no matter how close you both were, he couldn’t afford to let you see his other self.

not just yet.

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waking up so early in the day to assist the team was way more annoying than birds chirping by your bedroom’s window. instead of hearing their tuneful tweets, you had to endure endless phone calls every minute. you couldn’t remember much from that day because you passed out. and the team didn’t look for you until yesterday.

coach jung waved to catch your attention, only to be greeted with your huge yawn and a disinterested face.

“ah there she is! c’mon now, i got the green light from mrs. park. she agreed that p.e is the only subject you’re likely to fail this semester, so she’s giving you a cool-off from the team and focus on here.”

“yep. heard you coach.” you tied up your hair, only listening to half of what he said. “where’s the captain?”

kun did few stretches & jumps, his expression mirrored the other two boys who were also doing the same. you had a feeling about this— their telepathic gaze and awkward silence. you took a basketball to pass it to ten. “is he still mad about me calling him a jerk? that was a few days ago and i didn’t expect him to be that sensitive.”

they laughed because they couldn’t deny his obvious trait. “he doesn’t show it but somehow you know he is.” ten passed the ball back to you. “but not this morning y/n. he’s late for.. another reason.”

you hopped to catch it yet you were a second late, and groaned as you had to run far to retrieve it. “uh-huh. nature calls in the morning, again?” you yelled.

“do you think she knows about jaehyun?” jungwoo asked the older ones. they eyed you rummaging in the bushes for the ball, later looking back at each other for answers, but no one knew how your mind worked. “it’s been five days and no word from her at all.”

“if she actually does, i guess she just doesn’t want to be involved? i think we can trust her for that.” kun drank from his bottle.

ten didn’t look convinced. “involved or not, we have to make sure she doesn’t tell anyone about jaehyun’s curse. keep an eye on her-”

“ah!” they heard your squeals and ruffles from the bushes. “guys look what i found!”

kun sighed when they saw you running back with a golden retriever puppy in your arms, taking back his words said earlier.

“uh-oh. that scream means she has no clue at all.” jungwoo brushed his hair up.

“this puppy is so cute! i wonder what it’s doing here? are you lost?” you hugged and sniffed into its fur and gosh it smelled like vanilla shampoo. there was a metal collar around its neck, the piece spelled “jj”. “aww it has a name!”

no matter how happy you looked from the boys, they couldn’t help but take a photo of you and ‘puppy’ jaehyun. they had to tell you before it was too late. the golden hour in the morning was shorter than sunset, so either they would tell you straight up, or let jaehyun transform back to human.

but guess what? they were too late. they shouldn’t have second-guessed.

what had happened was way beyond your comprehension. it was in an instant. all it felt in totality was that, you weren’t carrying a puppy anymore. you lost balance and the weight in your arms doubled or tripled, you couldn’t tell. but you knew you were falling backwards. was there to brace for impact? none.

you blinked several times from the orange sunrise blinding your vision from the window. slowly you got up to sit and soothe the pain. that hurt..

here’s the thing. remember you mentally told yourself you hoped you didn’t run into any naked boy in the basketball team’s showers? there you have it. you jinxed it. jaehyun’s figure was on top of yours and you knew he had no clothes on. oh goodness.

“hyung? you forgot your lunch box- oh.” sungchan barged in the scene and everyone could tell he sort of malfunctioned. he froze then facepalmed.

you took turns into looking at the embarrassed jaehyun and at the boys who whistled to avoid the numbers of questions you were going to ask.

kun quickly shielded your eyes where your doubts were showing in your face. and no matter how much thought hard, you just couldn’t believe it. with fear written all over you, you dusted your pants and hands reached kun’s arm to support your weight.

“oh so you shielded her eyes but not my body?!” jaehyun’s voice entered your ears and you swore there was a hint of puppy whimper.

“this is a dream.. right?..” you asked before you fainted.

sungchan managed to save you from the fall. “whoa! ah, i had a feeling something like this would happen.”

—

“was she always like that?” minnie took a peep of your classroom, her eyes showed confusion. “is she tired?”

lisa shrugged and in her innocence she pursed her lips. “i don’t know. she’s been sighing a lot for the past hour? i wanna ask her but it might be too personal.”

you could her them and they were wrong. it was nothing personal at all. you’ve been sighing because you didn’t know how it was possible but it just happened— right before your eyes. since then you hoped that science could explain but not even the smartest people could give you a conclusion. you’ve been called out from lessons that came in the day and not that you didn’t blame jaehyun.

because for one thing, he at least told you the truth and the answer to your question as to why he had to make you leave that day. you propped your chin on your palms from jaehyun’s warning: “tell anyone i swear i’ll make you run a hundred laps with no water breaks.”

but the other thing? he was naked. and that’s not something you could erase in your memories overnight.

you let out a small whine that led to minnie and lisa copying your position, obviously making fun of you. “seriously, not a good time.” you laid on the table and hid from them. “don’t ask me anything.”

minnie and lisa looked at each other as you were being unreasonable and already gotten them curious with your remark. they both grabbed each of your arm, tugging on your sleeves where they begged nonstop for you tell them what had happened. they knew it was about the basketball team.

since you started to train and be with them, you’ve never complained. because if you did, coach jung would add another exercise for you, in which you knew you couldn’t handle. broken bones and sore muscles awaited for you. so you chose not to utter a single sigh, but you were careless just now and there was no escaping from these best friends of yours.

“c’mon y/n! tell us the deets! you sighing could only mean one thing.. did someone confess to you?” minnie closed her eyes and a wide smile suddenly became shrieks of laughter when you facepalmed. “oh who in the basketball team confessed?” she singsonged.

it’s not really a confession, jaehyun being a golden puppy is a secret that was never meant to be revealed but i happened to see him transform-

“what if it’s not a guy? maybe two? or three? oh gosh this is like a reverse harem anime-” lisa began to hype an awful assumption but you covered her lips. and plus? her voice was loud and how embarrassing it would be when the rest of the class heard it.

you were already restless at their energy. “none you idiots. i was sighing because i didn’t know that people with dimples would be that attractive.” you tried to divert the topic.

“pfft you’re talking about jung jaehyun?” lisa raised her brows and grinned teasingly to get a reaction from you.

“no, i’m taking about coach jung.” you hit her arm.

“but jaehyun’s his carbon copy, so you’re basically saying he’s handsome too.” minnie quickly rebutted.

“i mean, coach’s the original face so he’s definitely more handsome-” you paused. shoot they nearly got you to a corner. “wait- why are we talking about this? i thought we’re talking about me.”

“ah you were paying attention to our conversation?” minnie’s eyes grew.

“you’re not telling us anything dimwit.” lisa hit you back.

couple of squeals echoed the corridor and your classroom door crowded with people. apparently jaehyun stood by the door frame and scanned the room looking for you. when he spotted you, his face bubbled up and literally glided his way to your seat. you could tell he was slightly fuming, but you didn’t know what reason. “y/f/n! come here for a second!” he grabbed your wrists and pulled you up from your chair.

you tried to catch up with his pace as he continued to pull you. “let me go!”

jaehyun did in fact let go of you, but he instead led you to hit your back against numerous lockers. the squeals didn’t stop there and how that you were the centre of attention amongst all of the students, you had endure this for a little while. he was staring into your soul, eyes piercing that could strain yours, you knew he was pissed about something.

he slammed his forearms at the space right above your head, then the screams of giddy began to grow louder. you managed to see your friends at the far end of the corridor. they were smiling and lisa mouthed ‘kabedon’, making you flustered than you already were. “what do you want?” you asked.

“i thought i made myself clear?” jaehyun smirked as he felt you quiver against his skin. he leaned lower that his whispers tickled your ear. “did you tell anyone? your friends?”

“i’m not gonna risk my health for some dumb secret.” you rolled your eyes and crossed arms.

“please it’s not like our training puts your life on jeopardy-” jaehyun butted back.

“it’s safe with me. if there’s anything you’re worried about, just look at your fanbase. you’re making them sad.” you sighed, walking away and through the girls who has been following jaehyun around.

jaehyun exhaled at a rather slow pace. he liked your reaction and was aware of their presence. and in order to shoo them away, he had to do what he did. he just hoped you’d notice that too. “see you after school!” he yelled.

you briefly stopped in your tracks at his greet, you continued walking and pulled your girls away from the scene. you didn’t pay any attention, but you knew they couldn’t contain their smiles appearing on their faces.

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the bags full of foldable cones fell to the floor. the rest of the team turned to your direction, who already made mistakes on the first day of camp. they knew that you were obviously flabbergasted with your encounter. it was funny that you managed to stride your way so quickly towards jungwoo— he was very much entertained with your expression. “i know right? that was me earlier.” he stroked the large pup.

“h-how did puppy grow so big? that’s an adult sized dog! you stuttered but hiding your love for golden retrievers just wasn’t possible. there were times you forgot that this was actually jaehyun. “it’s only been a week.”

“yeah i’d like to know the reason too.”

suddenly you heard jaehyun’s voice. it felt like he was close to your ears again, but he wasn’t anywhere near you.

remains of memories probably were still in you head. you wouldn’t say you were traumatised, just surprised. why the hell am i hearing his voice? you shook the thought off at first but then again-

oi y/n. beside you. i’m talking to you!

what?

you gasped and fell on your butt. the pup’s ears were on alert and you knew he was hearing you too. “you can hear me?” jaehyun’s dog form practically towered on your fallen self. you avoided his look although the pup was so cute. his paws poked your shoulders, whiskers twitching as he waited for your response. “don’t look away! you can hear me right??”

all the guys could see was jaehyun staring down at you. and while you did the same, your knitted brows only meant something was definitely going on. they wanted to know. “what’s wrong y/n?”

your lips shook in heavens knows it was fear. “you’re asking me what’s wrong? why can i hear jaehyun? can you hear jaehyun? oh my g- this is really really weird-”

“you can?” they scooted closer to you, very much intrigued with your gift.

“and you all can’t?” you pushed jaehyun away for his body was weighing you down. he whimpered and got up to sit in front of the boys too.

they shook their heads vigorously. “only sungchan and coach were able to hear him.” kun stated, typing on his cellphone to inform his family.

“y/n! let’s talk when i transform back!” jaehyun’s paws kept poking you again. you glared at him with a loud hiss. his ears were alert, he didn’t realise that he was clawing you already, and turned a few rounds before he was laying like a bagel-shaped position.

jaehyun thought it was pretty strange. never in his life were there any people who could actually converse with him telepathically. other than his family, you were the first and he was determined to find out why this impossibility was made possible. there was a spark of hope forming in his heart at this sudden revelation. the glow from the orange light then shone above your head, marking the end of sunrise.

you looked at jaehyun’s dog form, it was- correction, he was.. quiet, and was still staring at you as if you were his master. he laid on this front legs, snout on the ground. huh, he can actually be behaved. footsteps were closing in. at the distance, coach jung walked with lisa and minnie, who were in their cheerleading uniforms. right, you forgot that they were also included in the annual athletes camp.

for a moment you panicked because you knew jaehyun would transform back from being a dog. ten and rest knew more people shouldn’t know about jaehyun’s curse. they were glad you read the atmosphere too. seeing jaehyun’s jersey in his duffel bag, you grabbed it and wore it on the animal.

coach jung made eye contact to your direction. he diverted the girls’ attention, and led them away from the basketball court. they headed towards the storage to “retrieve” some equipment.

jaehyun grunted and growled, his fangs tried to bite your skin. however, goldens were known for having a soft jaw, so his bites weren’t that painful. when you finally managed to put the jersey on him, jungwoo couldn’t catch up. “why let him wear the jersey?” he questioned.

“so he wouldn’t transform back naked when lisa and minnie arrives.” you pointed out the obvious.

ten held his laugh in. you recognised this tone, and prepared what came after. “heh..” he trailed off. “is it because you want to keep jaehyun to yourself?”

you continuously threw random items at him as heat spread to your cheeks. “screw you!” you scoffed. “get jaehyun to wear his pants. i have to pack a lot of things before we head onto the bus.”

“yes ma’am.” ten nudged your shoulder. “i’m kidding y/n. don’t take my jokes seriously.“

“it’s fine.” you picked up the fallen cones. “you’re worried about people knowing his curse. so i’m just doing my part to keep it secret.”

he pursed his lips and his heart softened at your willingness to help. “hm, i guess i can trust you after all.” ten opened the bag to help you pack. “oh! and also, jae in his dog form already is naked anyway.”

“you think i’m not aware of that?” you rolled your eyes.

your friends already have settled themselves inside the coach bus and you were seated in between them. now they would get to witness you with the team and hoped for a budding romance with any of the boys. you lowered your face under a cap to pretend you were sleeping, but in reality you just wanted to avoid lisa and minnie’s bombardment.

few rows at front, jaehyun stared by the window, deep in thought. rarely spoke a word since they started their journey to the retreat campsite. why was his hunch telling him to get closer to you? why could you hear him and he could hear you? he slightly turned to his side between the gaps of two seats. seeing you giggling with your friends had him rethinking if what happened earlier was just his imagination. he wondered why you purposely ignore him after he transformed back.

he slid lower from his seat. “i’d understand if this was a soulmate thing, but it’s not.” jaehyun sighed heavily where he broke the silence and supposedly ending the conversation earlier. now that he wanted to talk about it, his friends were still up for the news.

“oh yeah. those things are going on. except it only happens to some people.” kun popped a chip in his mouth.

“i just don’t get it. dad told me that never occurred to anyone with this curse.” he stole the bag of chips from the younger one to relieve his emotions.

jungwoo’s pursed his lip in wonder. “maybe the curse in another light has its own blessing? maybe you guys are soulmates?”

“nah, impossible.” they all said simultaneously.

“it’s a possibility-” jungwoo’s face soured where wrinkles appeared on the sides as the boys flared at him.

jaehyun shrugged not knowing what to say. his friends have bizarre ideas throughout the journey, and he wouldn’t say they were wrong either. all he could do was to wait until the next transformation. maybe you would say your thoughts about it through telepathy.

he would know if time passed quickly when he didn’t pay attention to anyone. one of them was the number of times you waved in front of his face to snap him back to earth. “jaehyun?” you laid on the ground and called out, panting to catch air after your successful reps. you tugged the ends of his track pants.

“hm?” he hummed, looking for your voice until he got annoyed with your repetitive pulls of his clothes. “ah stop that. i have to report your record to coach. come with?”

“do i really have to?” you whined. “i could barely stand, my legs are wobbly and i’m hungry.”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and took your hand, pulling you up on your toes. “then let’s grab something to eat on our way to the camp, hm?”

you gulped at the sudden gesture, even more so when you noticed your heart beating faster around him. somehow your sixth sense told you your friends were somewhere in the woods looking at you, and you were right.

minnie had her binoculars by her eyes as you and jaehyun headed in another direction back to everyone else were. she held in her excitement with a huge inhale. out of curiosity lisa stole the binoculars from her. a growing smile showed her pearly whites when within its frame, jaehyun was pushing you from the back before he took your hand again because of how slow you were. “min, consider your reverse harem dream for y/n over. we found her leading man.”

—

“few more reps y/n! do it properly this time?”

jaehyun rubbed his face, raising his tone in question of your athleticism. it was the second and final day of your assessments. your core should be able to get used to the pressure if you’ve done the reps for two straight days. so as of today you salute to all people who persevered and with great stamina. you just.. weren’t that person.

you’ve grown conscious now that jaehyun’s friends were watching a few metres away. you’d prefer kun counting and timing your exercises over him. in contrast, kun’s a little more understanding than the hotheaded jaehyun. “if i say i can’t, shouldn’t you consider stopping here? it’s the last one anyway so put random number on the blank or something.” you struggled to lift yourself up from the ground, arms in an ‘x’ position over your torso.

“is that so? then you wouldn’t mind if i write ‘0’ for the final count?” jaehyun checked the stopwatch while his knees put enough weight on your feet. “at least do five more?” he sat on the soles of his shoes.

“ugh! fine!” you tsked and did sit ups slowly, eyes shut closed.

jaehyun smirked with how determined you were in finishing. and he has gotta credit you for having the last brain cell to endure his overly playful bossiness and plans up his sleeves.

but even his friends has something up in their sleeves. they whispered to each other and nodded heads as excitement already boosted their anticipation. ten cupped his mouth then giving the raised brows as signal to start. “y/n! jaehyun’s recording your expression with his phone!” ten yelled.

jungwoo’s mouth widened and followed along. “jae! there’s a bee behind you!”

“what?!”

“where?!”

the moment you froze and opened your eyes after bringing yourself up, and jaehyun leaned forwards to avoid the insect, was way too hilarious for the guys to see. both of your faces were centimetres away from each other and jaehyun’s ears already tinted pink. jaehyun already found it awkward to help you for three days, but he never prepared himself for something like this.

as his friends bursting out laughing, that was when he realised it was all their plan. you were still too close to him, so he cleared his throat to cut the gap between. “is that a pimple on your nose?” he asked, only for his nose to be smacked and soon be numbed. “agh!”

what the- “jerk! don’t point it out!” you kicked him and rolled sideways to stand up, angrily leaving the area with the sheet in your hands. “i’ll give this to the coach!”

jaehyun held his nose and walked back to the guys, who were still laughing their butts off and rolling on the ground. “you can stop now.”

“oh that was funny! it was like a typical ‘ba-dump’ scene in a rom-com!” jungwoo wiped a tear.

“should’ve recorded it!” kun threw his head back while his hand rested on his heaving chest.

“no worries! at least it’s recorded in jaehyun’s mind!” ten cheered with closed fists.

“it’s embarrassing!” jaehyun threw his towel.

bonfires were mandatory at the start and end of the camp. however, because of your assessment, coach jung had negotiate with the other members of the basketball to get to the campsite a day before the other teams actually arrived at night. so for the kun and the rest, they had a little more free time than jaehyun. and him being the coach’s son.. he didn’t have the same benefits. he was stuck with you because he had to keep an eye on you while

he thought being with you would only be for the first two days, then he would go for his training. and yet here you were, sitting beside him in front of the bonfire while everyone else arrived and other danced to their hearts’ content. maybe he could ask you about the telepathy thing? but figuring you were cranky from earlier, he held back.

“can i ask more about your curse? if it’s okay with you to tell me.”

jaehyun nodded, you had the right to. not because you accidentally picked a random puppy then saw him naked few moments later. you could hear him in your head, and that was enough reason to tell you rather than a general information about it. “yeah. i’m okay with it.”

“you said your ancestors had the curse too. was there any specific reason why they had to suffer that your family and you had to be the..” you paused for a while. jaehyun was waiting for your next words, you guessed it was alright to say it. “..collateral damage?”

“right. i didn’t tell you more of it yeah?” he sniffed from the chilly night. “i don’t know how far back in the years it happened. but they said the head of the family casted out his wife because he assumed he cheated on him. he was the only person the wife ever treasured, so when she was accused, she took his pet and killed it. the head found out, he cursed her that her descendants turn into animals. and we’re the descendants of that woman.”

“that’s awful.” you cleared your throat. “i’m sorry you have to suffer the curse.”

“you don’t have to be. i’m just trying to cope with it.” jaehyun chuckled. “how awesome would it be if there was a way to reverse everything.”

“gotta find the blessing then.” you laid on the grass.

jaehyun’s face wrinkled in disgust. “okay you sound like jungwoo.”

“at least appreciate me for trying to lift your spirits up.”

he hummed in agreement.

“or you can just.. let the blessing find you.” you singsonged as you realised how corny you actually sounded.

“fine, and if it’s you?” he had to give a hint of the telepathic communication.

“because i can hear you when you’re in your retriever form? i’m not exactly a blessing but yeah i’d like to know how telapthy works too.” you stared back at the bonfire, flames flickering as the smoke flew in the air. as of tonight, you wanted to be that person who’d be the igniter of that hope he held on. “if i could help out a little, i’ll be happy to help.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

lisa and minnie stared at you, both had their palms under their chins as if their silence asked you to talk. “i can’t eat when the two of you are like this. it’s very disturbing.” you gripped on your fork, hesitant to eat as you took glances between the food and them.

you knew what they were going to ask. not like you didn’t want to share, it was just that you knew them well enough that they wouldn’t stop once they start. the food was getting cold every second passed, due to the wind outdoors, it was more vulnerable. lisa stretched her elbows while holding her poms to be noticed. five days have gone by and even though you were rarely with them in all those days, she had to ensure you’d tell them about the basketball team and your leading man— although you had no idea about that.

“any updates?” she raised her brows.

“nothing is happening with me or anyone in the team, if that’s what you both wanted to know.” you sighed. “i’m just simply taking down minutes.” you said sternly, kind of regret that you answered her and swirled the noodles with your fork.

“are you sure? twelve members should be enough for that.” minnie tied her shoelaces and bent down with a pressed smile when you pout. she softened her gaze when you were telling the truth and that their teasing should stop there. but they knew that the team should know something about you.

“they’re divided into teams. some did the score board while others practiced on their own. of course i have to be the one- why are you pulling my arm?” you asked and eyed them as if they stained your clothes.

lisa twirled on her toes and posed with her arm rested on her waist. “you’re being quiet again.”

“i’m not?” you said monotonously while you munched on your food.

she sighed and grabbed your chin. “you don’t look at me when you’re lying.” she hummed, yet you didn’t respond. “what’s up y/n? something’s on your mind i can tell.”

in fact a lot of things were.

so far in the week, you’ve helped jaehyun theorise solutions to end his curse after practice. not only for him, but his family and extended family too. some have passed not having to enjoy their lives, while others chose to hide themselves from the world. and a small percentage of the family tree actually tried to live through it— that was jaehyun’s family. coach jung was as determined as jaehyun to put a stop into this curse.

not only that thought alone. to you, jaehyun has been rather noticeable. even if you weren’t thinking of him, he’d appear out of nowhere— during your breaks, on your night-walks alone or even heading to the toilet. you’d always bump into him and his presence seemed to be marked in your consciousness now. not that you liked him around, it was just captain was more friendly than others made him out to be. “really, it’s nothing.”

to say that jaehyun didn’t feel same was definitely an understatement. since the start of the freshman year, he knew you were the loud girl with the two hot cheerleaders, but always wondered why you’ve never joined the team. sometimes he would catch you sitting at one corner, dancing along with the routines aside from cheering your friends on as he was heading to practice.

now he took a peek of you eating alone while lisa and minnie showed off their new uniforms. he was about to call you out to help the team, but the girls pulling you almost immediately once you were done had him holding back. “chaeyeon will be arriving soon, and remember the dare was to wear our uniform.” minnie giggled while you begged her to stop, to the point you nearly cried thinking about it. “you agreed to it-”

“i didn’t agree to it! you agreed for me! i had no say!”

jaehyun’s eyes widened at the thought of you in uniform. your yells were getting louder and pitchier. should he be your knight and shining armour? probably not. he’d like to have something to tease you about. for a moment there was silence, he hid behind the corner of a storage building. you were still telling your friends to stop doing what they were doing. but it was two against one, and he knew you were at the losing end.

the door slammed open, your huffs and puffs getting heavier and closer to where he was. jaehyun’s heart beat so fast that when he finally decided to call out your name, you bumped into him and he caught you to prevent you from falling. “i was about to fetch you, manager.”

you felt heat spread your entire cheek because of the attire you were forced to wear. “well you did and i’m here. can we go? my friends are giving me the stares.”

“fiesty, but i think you look alright.” he chuckled when you grumpily walked ahead. jaehyun followed you from behind with his hands in pockets.

what does he mean by that?

lisa and minnie pursed their lips, soon bursting into giddy squeals and continuously fanning each other from what they saw yet the second time. “he was really checking her out.” minnie laughed.

“his ears said it all.” lisa checked her watch on her wrist. “basketball team’s practice match is starting soon. wanna sit in?”

“girl you bet i will.”

even hours later you blew your baby fringes blocking your view. as you flipped the score board and whistles for a time-out echoed the outdoor gym, your friends could tell how uncomfortable you were but they’d do nothing to get more reactions from you. they liked that you entertained them. and what choice did you have? chaeyeon was already taking pictures of you in the uniform you despised wearing.

coach jung briefed the team information on their opponents this season. you wrote down important points, feeling the chill of the early sunset. you couldn’t wait to change into actual soft and comfy clothes, mosquitoes weren’t your friends.

jaehyun listened to his dad repeating the same points- mostly because he got the advice first before others. he heard you hiss several times, you were supposed to jot the notes down. then it got frequent. he tiptoed to see you opposite from him, shooing the bugs away. of course you were still wearing the cheer uniform. he didn’t want to draw attention, so he stealthy walked behind the guys and straight to you.

“trouble?” he asked.

“just a little chilly, that’s all. meeting’s nearly done yeah?” you hugged the file to your chest.

“say so if you’re cold.” he took his jacket off and draped it on your shoulder.

“and who am i to tell to?” your voice challenging him.

he hummed so low that it almost lulled you to sleep. “me. i’m not the captain for nothing.”

you were both busy talking that you and him weren’t aware of time nor anyone else close by. mind you that minnie and lisa were watching the whole thing. you managed to smile even if you were crossed with how you were dressed. like you enjoyed his company.

they couldn’t hear your conversation, nor were your lips were moving. but the body language they saw already proved and confirmed their assumption. they had to tell you. they went straight to you once the meeting was over, and pulled you aside whilst jaehyun was talking about his childhood.

jaehyun raised a brow and chuckled as you were being pulled away. his friends immediately surround him, bombarding him with questions that he wasn’t paying attention to the meeting. “dude, your time’s near.” ten smacked him on the back.

“don’t make it sound like i’m dying, ten.” jaehyun rolled his eyes, but whenever he did, they were always fixated on you. he couldn’t shake off the feeling you were that something to solve the curse.

“be alert than be busted.” ten shrugged, head tilting to where you were. your friends were busy recording you and giggles filled the air. “how are you so calm now jae?”

jaehyun pursed his lips. “with her, there’s no way i’m calm at all.”

“okay now i can’t tell if that answer was from human jaehyun or doggy jaehyun.” jungwoo pointed out.

his friends all looked at each other, jaehyun wasn’t his usual self. it was as if he was dazed but was able to converse with them properly. slowly his naturally peach-like fuzzy cheeks grew more fur, his tail started to reveal. although they were quick enough to hide jaehyun, they didn’t realise the commotion that came afterwards and drew everyone’s attention.

you swifted your head at the boys’ yells and gathering circle, faintly hearing jaehyun’s refusal into whatever they got him into. “stop it! hey!” he hissed.

jungwoo, a little too excited of the drama going on, spotted you looking at them and gestured you to come over too. your friends built up a curiosity and went ahead of you. as for you, you were mentally tired to think of anything.

not until you heard kun’s wavering yet convincing words. “uh.. y’all wanna see magic?” he chuckled nervously as he knew what jaehyun would do to him after all this was over. “quickly because it’ll happen soon!”

you held in a laugh at jaehyun when he was forced to sit down on the grass to hide his tail. “i’ve been trying to master this for months and i thank jaehyun as my participant. who loves animals? give me a name.”

most hands were up and the answers were said at the same time. some didn’t believe him, but others have seen kun’s little magic tricks over the days. so something of a huge scale like this already got them curious than ever.

“ah i hear great ones but i’ll choose dog. now i’ll turn jaehyun into a golden retriever.” he draped a blanket above his friend.

ten and jungwoo bit their lips to contain themselves, holding onto each other as they filmed this once-in-a-lifetime event. the circle enlarged in scale with the poor lad at the center and the golden hour shone over everyone.

“in 3.. 2.. 1..” kun only snapped his fingers then the blanket shrunk in size. your schoolmates were convinced that something was actually happening.

and it was amusing because you were able to hear jaehyun swearing so much in your head.

you let out a giggle. jaehyun was soon surrounded by everyone who wanted to pet him. even your friends went over to the animal. “at least pretend to be happy for them. goldens are known for being clowns.” you told him.

*sighs* “tell kun i’m gonna kill him.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the silence was all jaehyun ever wanted after the shock he had to go through from kun’s improv few days ago. he’d be thankful for a moment because he actually forgot the gideon hour at the time, but he would soon later be clouded with annoyance that he should’ve been informed beforehand of his actions— not only kun, the others included. they’ve got a part in this too.

his friends seated side by side with bruises and bandages on their faces, jaehyun still giving them the silent treatment. he was cranky about that, yet even more so when there was no progress into finding a solution to his curse. “jae. we said we’re sorry.” jungwoo apologised and felt that he was the only one giving effort to talk to jaehyun compared to kun and ten.

“and i said it’s fine. so stop saying that before i actually don’t forgive you.” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

after walking up the slope to the cabin with heaves of breaths, you managed to hear their conversation before opening the door. “i refilled your bottles.” you threw them on a duffle bag, not caring whether either of them rolled away. “i have to apologise too, jaehyun. i haven’t come up with anything to help you.” true enough because you couldn’t think straight or have the energy to use your remaining brain cells for that matter.

“ugh it’s fine. i’m not in a rush or anything. not even assigning you to solve within the duration of the camp.” jaehyun squeezed the bottle as thirst continued to drive him crazy, the heat as well, so he removed his tshirt. you averted your gaze and looked elsewhere. maybe you were still a little bothered seeing him half naked after the incident?

ten sought the opportunity and decided to fan the flame even more. “why look away when you’ve seen him already?”

he managed to dodge your hits and you turned around embarrassed. jaehyun could see you fanning yourself from the heat. “it was an accident!” you cleared your throat.

“gah i’m tired. we’re done with practice. we get a day off tomorrow, so can’t we watch a movie? who has disney plus?” jungwoo wiped himself with a towel.

“i do.” kun brought out his ipad. “what do you wanna watch?”

“i haven’t watched that one.”

“beauty and the beast?”

“o-kay, i’ll be going now.” you yawned as you began to feel the exhaustion take over your body. “see you tomorrow.”

the door closed and suddenly you remembered a funny memory last halloween when taeil dressed himself as belle. he blended in with the other ladies that you didn’t realise it was him. either it was the wig’s work or just taeil in general. you found it funny when a bunch of young teens become children again as disney’s mentioned.

your phone vibrated with your friends asking to help them out with their practice. “i came to the camp for the basketball team, not you two.” you left a voice mail. all you wanted was to rest up today. not until a certain realisation hit you hard.

because what if?

it hasn’t been that long since you left the cabin when the boys jolted from their positions. their peace and concentration on the movie already ruined by you. “oh my goodness i think i got it?” you slammed the door.

jaehyun sat up and set his phone aside. “you’re saying it a question rather than a discovery. not convinced.”

“will you be when i tell you if it’s based on that movie?” you pointed at the tablet.

he trailed his eyes to the screen then back at you, a more confused expression on his face. “you expect me to find someone to love me so my curse will be lifted?”

“pfft nah kidding, you don’t seem that loveable anyway.” you stole a lollipop from ten. “okay bye for reals.”

as the door closed, ten unwrapped another lollipop. “bet you he’s thinking of his potential ‘belle’.” ten nudged the boys.

“shut up. i’m not going to base my life on a fictional movie.”

“but it could be y/n. i mean she can hear you.” jungwoo paused the film.

“it’s not going to be her and it doesn’t prove anything.”

jaehyun thought a lot for two things— you keeping his hopes up, the other was you setting his heart in a frenzy and he always hated that feeling. he groaned and dragged himself to bed to place a towel over his face. sure he’ll hold on to that idea you came up with for now. however it didn’t prove on telepathy.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

your heart missed a beat when jaehyun waited for you in front of the cabin you stayed at. he thought you bumping into his torso wasn’t a good way to greet in the morning, whereas you feeling some fur on his tshirt as greeting was any different. jaehyun handed you a file and a little note from coach.

while you read it, you could sense jaehyun was staring, like he had something to say. he retracted his lips when your friends appeared behind you with grins annoyingly appearing on their faces. “make it quick captain. we have things to discuss with y/n.”

“yeah sure. i just dropped by to pass this to you. coach said to make copies. i’ll come back after you’re done with breakfast.” he cleared his throat and announced his leave.

“hm. fishy. he could’ve just left it here outside but he seems like he waited for you.” lisa drank from her cup as you all sat and ate breakfast together.

“right? it’s been days he acted that way!” minnie walked back to the table. “he’s indeed a gentleman, but there are times he’s very hard to approach.”

you unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. “anyway, what is it you guys wanna talk about?”

“lisa will go first. she couldn’t wait.” minnie giggled.

lisa laid out series of pictures of nature she recently took and were indeed beautiful. “oh my goodness they look amazing!” you sat up. “as expected from someone in the photography club. i bet if you submit these to johnny he’ll regret putting you as backup-”

“really?! i took advantage of the retreat and i made sure they were pretty!” lisa interrupted you and placed more pictures down. “these are my favourite! i’m thinking of sending these to johnny instead!”

however your face turned sullen at the next pictures. they were blurry and almost gone, but it was definitely jaehyun at the background, each one showed he was transforming from human to dog. you paused and your heart did the same.

the silence got longer, you knew you had to speak up, but no words came out. “what’s wrong y/n?”

“you can’t submit these to johnny.” you brushed the first batch of pictures aside and bind latest pictures together.

“why not? you supported the rest of them! how could these be not good enough?” lisa’s voice changed in an instant, like you’ve taken away her pride. she sat back with folded arms, her behaviour scared you a little.

minnie slightly wiggled your hand. “hey, are you hearing to yourself y/n?”

“sorry, i know i sound stupid-”

“you are!” lisa huffed where her cheeks blew up. it was cute though.

“but you have to hear me out.” one thing was for sure, your stress levels shot up high if word gets to jaehyun. you had to prepare for the consequences.

“okay, so why can’t i submit them?” lisa sighed.

you held her hand. “it would be alright to, only if these are not in the background.” you said, pointing out a figure at the background of the subject. it all became clear as day to them when they looked closely. “did jaehyun just.. transformed?”

you were surprised with how quick they were able to catch on. as much as you wanted to protect jaehyun’s family curse, things would’ve turn for worst if someone else had noticed it. i’m sorry jaehyun, this is for your own good.

“we believed kun’s ability of illusion and his magic tricks. ten sent us a video of it and it didn’t really occurred to us that the golden was actually jaehyun.” minnie pursed her lips. “if you think about it, he does look like a golden.”

“how is this possible?” lisa asked with a growing smile, but refrained since transforming twice everyday was nothing good anyway.

“i found about his family curse accidentally. he turns into a dog when it’s golden hour, like sunrise and sunset.” you propped on your elbows.

“it’s a curse? poor lad.” minnie gasped.

a rather sad nod caught them off guard. “the coach signed me up to join this retreat. it’s not only for my missed p.e assessments but it was to keep his curse a secret. a-and now that you know, i’ll be damned if word gets to him. so you have to promise me you both don’t say or do anything..“ you sounded as if you begged. that was how much your the friendship you have with jaehyun meant to you.

“and yeah, that’s my answer. the magic trick was just a cover up to hide jaehyun’s dog form.” they listened and were surprised to hear you like this.

your fidgety hands and nervous breathing was too obvious. if jaehyun was just a friend, you wouldn’t act as if he was your- “oh no.” you slumped down on your arms. “why did i..” you mumbled as your feelings for him became clearer to you.

“oh my gosh. you like him! you like jaehyun!” lisa covered her mouth and changed the lingering negative atmosphere.

ba-dump. i..

“then that means your love for golden retrievers doubled!” minnie hugged you.

“no! it’s b-because you’re putting m-me in the spotlight-” you stuttered when they leaned towards you. “i’m gonna go.”

jaehyun flinched even though he was at a distance. your friends were yelling quite excitingly. you were being chased by them and although it was inaudible. he answered his phone as it was ringing for a while. “what, ten?”

“don’t ‘what’ me!” jaehyun tilted his head from his friend’s volume. “jae where are you?”

“i’m at y/n’s cabin and on my way bac-”

“nevermind that. i can see you.”

ten rushed towards him and looked at the cabin. “where’s lisa?” he squinted his eyes.

“just her and minnie chasing y/n out. i don’t know how but they left the door open. what are you doing here anyway?”

he mimicked a photographer’s gesture and pointed at the cabin. “lisa told me her pictures have developed and i’m here to get them.”

jaehyun flicked his forehead. “and you could’ve asked me instead.”

“they’re confidential and i’m shy if anyone sees it.” ten walked to the cabin.

“gross. just get them and head back quickly.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you lost track of the days that have passed and there was an unsettling feeling that stayed in your chest. had it been two or three? you couldn’t remember. the basketball team’s practice matches and drills were normal. but there was a difference in air lingering around jaehyun. he still talked to you, kept the same gentle smile and was caring as usual. except whenever he did those, it seemed like he was distancing himself from you, creating an imaginary wall just to let you know your limits and boundaries.

you’d like to think it was because of the pressure coach has been giving him since the play-offs were close to date. but, it wasn’t all jaehyun who behaved that way. ten also distanced himself, his gaze pierced against your skull and thinking about it only caused you to have migraines. you were more scared of ten.

coach jung have asked you to help the cheerleading team, saying you’ve helped them enough. the amount of appreciation he had for you was too much, you couldn’t ask him about how jaehyun recently. yet this was all too sudden that your gut feeling told you otherwise. you planned to talk to jaehyun after the day ends. because in all honesty, something definitely happened.

and the boys left you out of it.

approaching jaehyun was harder than you thought. now you’ve realised it, he was always the one who took the initiative and you on the receiving end took the benefits of his kindness. it was supposed to be the other way around, so why were you taking advantage of this?

if having feelings for him was the reason for that, then you’re really stupid y/n. you laid on the grass in defeat from your thoughts and closed your eyes. you decided to have some peace and nature was your best friend in time like these. chirping birds and crashing riverbanks-

“jaehyun where are you?!”

ah crap. you twitched hard enough that swarms of goosebumps appeared on the majority of your skin. on your stomach, you hid behind the bushes to see jungwoo and the others struggling to find him. even at the mention of his name you were already feeling shy and flustered.

“is he skipping practice again?”

“ah whatever let’s just leave him.”

“i understand why he’s like that.”

“even i would feel hurt if i were him.”

a heavy and deep audible breath from their sudden entry was difficult to hide your response. you tried to leave as quiet as possible. not wanting to get caught, you had to move stealthily with few glides backwards on your knees, eyes glued to the boys’ actions if they looked elsewhere. when you felt something blocking the soles of your shoes, somehow you knew what it was.

“you’re blocking my way.” jaehyun’s irritated tone made your chest ache— in the most painful impact you never expected from him.

quickly you stood up and made sure you stayed out of sight from the boys. jaehyun scratched his temple at your awkward behaviour. he was already in front of you, why were you hesitating to ask him questions he left unanswered? jaehyun pulled a long face when you still remained silent. “if you’re not gonna speak when you clearly have something to say, do i really have to say it for you?”

what the hell is his problem? what’s with his tone? “yeah as a matter of fact i do. the thing is, i don’t understand why you’re being like this. you ignore me but still talk to me when i don’t help with the team anymore, and for some reason you’re mad at me?” you grimaced while leaning on a tree trunk.

there was cynism in jaehyun’s nods and the swirls of his tongue evident on his cheeks. you hated his attitude and all you wanted was an explanation. “whatever this is, i’ve got no reason for you to doubt me, jaehyun.”

“ah, really? ‘cause you just gave me one.” he fished out something from his pockets and as you watched, the item he was holding was too familiar and they were obviously not his. he flicked the sheets and that was when you confirmed they were the new pictures lisa developed.

why were they with him? at the pit of your stomach, a whirlwind of emotions and stressing pressure began, and you didn’t like the feeling at all. “what-”

he threw the pictures on the floor. “other than my family and friends you’re the only one who knows about my curse! and at some point you go against my back telling them to picture me when i’m left clueless?!”

right now you were really afraid jaehyun’s mood would attract attention.

you closed your eyes as he raised his voice. “look i have no idea how you got those but i promise you i had nothing to do with the picture-” you insisted and could feel your blood pressure rising.

“how- how could you betray me like this?!”

your heart fell and instead of feeling bad about him knowing, you felt your head ache with so much anger building up inside you. because jaehyun didn’t bother to listen or let you explain yourself.

“i found you in the background before lisa actually showed those to johnny! it would spread if she did! where’s the betrayal in that?!”

he stepped closer to you, your entire was itching to run away. “i don’t care! you still told your friends! you could’ve said another excuse like kun’s practicing his magic trick or something! you promised me my secret’s safe with you!”

that’s messed up. i did tell lisa and minnie but not because it was to mock him!

“kun was no where to be seen in the picture! what else can i do? lie to them? i know my friends more than you do and they won’t tell anyone!” you raised your voice as well.

jaehyun scoffed, rolling his eyes. “i don’t trust them!”

“well, i do! and you should trust me!” your tone wavering at all emotions hitting you at once. especially coming from him— the guy you developed feelings for.

“the moment you told them you broke my trust already! what else did you tell them, hm? my dad and brother having the curse too?” he brushed his hair in anger when your silence meant yes. “ugh is this really happening?! you told them everything!”

“okay that’s enough-” your vision blurring from the tears wanting to fall.

“i’m asking what else did you tell them?! dammit y/n what could be so important to you than my secret?!”

“well- i-”

“i what?!”

other than the secret, you knew what went after the reveal. then you realised the weight of your words, you couldn’t tell him that you actually like him. you wanted to be selfish this once. “i can’t.. tell you.”

jaehyun started to harbour more resentment towards your reasoning. he found it ridiculous of you to even continue with this conversation. ten already warned him that the secret wasn’t safe with you in the first place. the glimpse of hope faded when he thought you’d be the key, even if you were, trust was still important to him. it was the very thing his mother lacked and you doing so reminded him of it.

his expression darkened and you were afraid of him— excluding of how cruel he was with you on the exercise reps. you were afraid you just broken a promise and put your friendship on a rocky end.

“so that’s it? i’m begging you with my life on the line and you just gave me the most bullcrap answer!”

“you’re being unreasonable!” you yelled.

“shut up! you found about my curse so you should be the one compromising!”

“y/n!” lisa came running with a panicked face.

tsk, wrong timing. “not now.” you mouthed.

“have you seen my pictures?! i told ten to get them the other day but he got the wrong envelope! it’s the one with jae-” she bent down to catch her breath and was taken aback with jaehyun’s presence. “..hyun.”

the boys followed lisa and once they found their friend, you could tell ten’s stares that felt like daggers. he pulled jaehyun away but eyes still locked on you. “what happened?” lisa asked as you mirrored ten’s expression, but your friends could see the hurt in your eyes.

“he has the pictures. i think ten saw them and gave them to him. jaehyun’s mad, he thinks i betrayed him for telling you-”

“no that’s not it!” lisa held your hand and glared at the boys, especially ten, since he was her childhood friend. “you had every right to tell us because the pictures are my works-”

“shouldn’t have said anything further y/n! you should’ve gotten the pictures and told us instead of them! you promised, remember?” ten finally spoke up.

you rolled your eyes. “and what?! you’re like saying i should risk my friendship for his stupid secret!”

his friends turned heads to jaehyun to see his tight-knit brows and softening demeanour. jaehyun frowned and hurt was evident in his face. he was hurt by you, someone he developed feelings for in a short amount of time. “i believed it when you said you’ll help me. or were.. were all those just words to you?”

ah.. that came out wrong.

you bit your lips to say something, but they left so soon after, making your chest squeeze as if your lungs let out the last bits of oxygen from your body.

shortly over an hour, jungwoo watched his friend pace back and forth, nibbling on his nails when the tension grew in their cabin. “aren’t you too hard on her? you didn’t let y/n explain further-”

“i can’t believe her!” jaehyun crumpled the picture after looking at it. “how could she do this to me?!”

“honestly i just don’t think she’s that type of person to go behind someone’s back for her own entertainment.” kun spoke up and tilted his head, avoiding the cup that smashed on his side of his cheek. “perhaps you’re mistaken.”

jaehyun wasn’t in the right headspace whenever his past trauma was reminded or brought up, so no matter how much reason was given, he wouldn’t listen. “do i have to repeat it? she already had her fun when she told her friends to picture me!”

“your explanations are always so conclusive.” kun sighed.

“and your heart’s too soft as usual, kun! so back off!” jaehyun grabbed the older one’s shoulder and shoved him against the wall.

he released him soon after realising that he didn’t once listen to you, but he was too stubborn to take any more excuses. there was one thing he thought you were wrong— weren’t you risking your friendship with him by exposing his secret he kept so dearly? maybe distancing himself more than he did would clear his mind off from the mess.

—

when all sports teams lined up with their designated coach buses the days after, jaehyun slightly put his chin up to search for you in the crowd— in a subtle manner, since he still stood in his decision into having his space from you yet didn’t want it to be obvious to others that he cared for you still.

you knew he was staring from afar. it was a stupid misunderstanding, both of you were in the wrong, but he made you feel as if you carried the blame for this.

sure that was a given, that he would react worse than expected. you were going to take the pictures from lisa anyway, and the guys wouldn’t know that your friends knew. you didn’t expect you’d burst out of anger or that ten took them before you did and made the assumption. it still drove you mad, ten probably convinced jaehyun of your doing since he didn’t trust you at first.

that aside, you decided to ride the coach bus with the cheerleading team. “when we reach school, you can forget about the basketball team and camp. how dare they hurt you?” minnie hugged you as you stared out the window.

“if i had to weigh it, it’s not me who’s hurting. jaehyun is.” you sighed and pat her back. “how do i act if i bump to any of them? i’ll probably do something stupid again. at all cost, i’mma just- *sigh*”

“she’s talking about jaehyun right?”

“yeah she’s still not straightforward about him.”

“we know she likes him. she doesn’t have to hide it.”

“i can hear you both.” you lowered your hat to avoid their gaze.

jaehyun sat beside his father at the front for a change, playing with the blinds to cover sunlight. coach jung knew his silence more than anyone, even if jaehyun didn’t plan on telling him. “i’ve done what you told me to do. you didn’t want to see y/n after the fight. so? did it to any change?”

“no. i kept my distance and i’ll see if she’ll admit her mistake.” jaehyun adjusted the fan above him.

“jae, if only you saw her reaction when i told her to not come see the team. i know you’re smarter than this. you know it’s not all her fault.”

he clenched his palms hard. crescent moons soon showed themselves on the flesh. “where exactly in this is my fault, dad? have i not been patient to wait for curse to be broken? who said that y/n might have a contribution in this? it’s you, dad. i’m not holding any grudge against y/n. i’m just disappointed at her because she’s nothing i ever imagined her to be. goodness’ sake i even like her.” he mumbled at the last sentence, missing the point that his dad could hear it.

coach jung let out a short laugh at the remark. “not sure if you noticed, you haven’t seen y/n working hard at researching about our curse while you boys practiced. she’s always brainstorming at the possibilities, science or not, she’s always looking for ways. don’t let anger cloud you.” his father paused and had a pressed smile. “..don’t end up having small fights like me and your mother. you wouldn’t want it to be bigger than it already is.”

“yeah.. i know.”

you woke up with a thud and saw a rather prominent bump on your right temple through the reflection of the window. arriving at the campus grounds was quicker than you thought, despite being almost a half day journey. you overheard that the basketball team would stay there a little longer and you had to leave immediately because once everyone has gone home, you’d see him. you didn’t want to risk yourself from being spotted after you both fought.

it was a small matter now that you think about that day. stubbornness outweighed understanding in the two of you, and that resulted in immaturity. and if neither of you were willing to admit, might as well make the first move.

but you were stubborn as he was.

once the coach bus was nearing the parking area, the first and only thing you decide to do was get out of the vehicle and head straight home. you wouldn’t let your friends speak and looked at their bus. there sat jaehyun fiddling with the curtain. you then rushed out, covering your face from the basketball team as they too were getting off. “is that what she meant ‘at all costs’?” minnie facepalmed as she saw you walking away quickly.

“oh look, there’s y/n.” coach jung tapped the window to make jaehyun notice you. the way you behaved was weird for him, because it was too obvious you were avoiding getting seen.

“i don’t care.”

“it means you do.” his father messed his son’s hair. “okay, off you go. i’ll cancel the extra practice today and let all of you rest up during the weekend.”

jaehyun’s lips agape at his father’s last minute decision. he wore his cap and slung his bag. “if you’re doing this and expect i’d make up with her, you’ll regret ever cancelling practice.”

“ah c’mon. your old man is helping you out with a girl. can’t you tell what i’m doing, jae?” he laughed at his son’s reaction. he could see himself in jaehyun and knew things would get better.

“it won’t work dad.”

he rolled his eyes and went to where the bikes were parked. he kicked the stand at the rear wheel when his friends caught up to him with their own bikes. goodness why can’t they just leave me alone? “what do you want?” he stood a little to pedal ahead.

kun rode along beside him, eyes alternating at and on the road. “what now? you’re just going to pretend you didn’t see y/n? like nothing happened?”

“how can i ignore that when her figure’s so obvious and literally running away from here? i’m not going to do anything about-”

jungwoo then sighed heavily, causing jaehyun to knit brows. “she looked over our bus you dimwit! that means she thought of talking to you but held back because of-”

“i’ll talk to y/n in my own terms and in my own time! stop forcing me to do things when you think it would work well for me!” jaehyun pressed on the brakes with his palms.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

kun and jungwoo’s eyes followed your swirling fork and the silent air that had been going for half an hour. they thought knocking onto the doors of jaehyun’s closed heart was hard, never expected yours was harder. you wouldn’t say anything after they invited you, claiming they missed you around them.

because it had been two full semesters since then. from what the boys told you, jaehyun lost focus and couldn’t lead the team to the championships. he always fought with his father and would burst in anger, throwing unnecessary fits towards them even though they worked hard to reach the quarterfinals.

this behaviour would happen so often that it began to strain his relationships with everyone on the team. the transformation did a lot worse to his body, he’d get sick and weak, and for over months, he would not transform back immediately within the golden hour ended. it lasted longer. sometimes even the morning after.

it worried them that if jaehyun given up all hope and continued to act that way, the urge to find the solution would never take place. and that he would remain an animal forever. even so, you knew their intentions to invite you today despite feeling sad for jaehyun. and you prepared your answer before they could speak.

“y/n-”

“as much as i love to stay, i’m here to tell you you’ve wasted your efforts. if jaehyun won’t talk to me.. then i’ll just keep giving him space until he apologises first.” you were already losing appetite talking about it.

“and you think waiting game would pull off too, hm?” kun’s dimple deepened, a flat smile seen on the exterior.

you put down your fork. “i didn’t think we’ll last this long not talking-”

ten smirked in disbelief, you forgot he was there too. his presence was almost non-existent as he kept quiet the whole time. “keep it like that. you’re held accountable for making jaehyun the way he is now.”

“ten!” kun scowled at the guy. “i told you not to talk.”

you rolled your eyes that his words hurt more than the eye roll. “why is he here anyway? you said it’ll only be the two of you. unbelievable.”

“to see if you came up with a solution to lift jaehyun’s curse. looking at you now, i guess you didn’t.” he said and you tried your best to refrain yourself from hitting him. “were you mocking him when you suggested it might be the same answer as that disney film?”

“i said as a joke but it might be a possibility. we live in a world where people go through inexplainable experiences that science couldn’t dive in deep.” you sighed.

jungwoo tapped the table to stop the bickering you and ten were starting. “like my hunch says, maybe it’s another soulmate thing i’ve mentioned to you guys at the camp.”

“it’s not a soulmate thing, jungwoo.” kun and ten said simultaneously.

you brought out an a5 sized sealed envelope and the action alone made the boys stunned. “don’t open this. just give it to him. anyway, the sun’s setting. i really have to go.” you passed the item to kun.

it’s suffocating. i can’t stay here long. they saw how hesitating your limbs were, your eyes averting them and clearing your throat several times.

“ten, does this look like she didn’t do anything? this proves she’s trying.” kun took the envelope and hit it on ten’s head.

as you put on your coat whilst standing next to the table, ten sat back with arms crossed. “acting smart, aren’t you? you really think you’re the belle for jaehyun huh? i wouldn’t believe that for a second.”

“i didn’t say anything about me being the solution. i’m still keeping my promise to help him. and trust me, i don’t think i’m belle either.” you grabbed your bag and left, your food gone cold and jungwoo sighed at the air turning worse thanks to ten.

the cash money was placed on the table when kun called the waiter. “please keep the change.” he looked at your slouching figure by the bus stop across the restaurant. it screamed sadness and hurt all over.

the reason for suddenly leaving wasn’t because you were offended with what ten said. of course there was truth in his words. at some point you thought you were someone important to jaehyun, since you could hear him.

you thought you both were soulmates.

you left because you spotted a familiar figure standing by the door. haven’t been seeing him lately only made you feel angry at yourself. you were a coward, you even passed the envelope to the boys instead of giving it to jaehyun yourself. your friends already encouraged you about it, that that was the only thing to narrow the gap between you and jaehyun. it was to show that you were still supporting him.

why are you like this y/n? if you like him, you’d do anything to get his attention and forgiveness. why are you doing things to push him away, rather.. why are you forcing yourself to not care when you still do?

you continued to walk with your head low for another hour, troubled in your thoughts as they’ve been bothering you for many months. snap out of it y/n-

*tug*

*scratch*

the hems of your baggy jeans were pulled and torn with minimal, adorable force. it took you a while to process the animal before you. a blue bunny, what’s a bunny doing here- oh.

“sungchan?”

—

he rose from the bushes in front of their house. you stood there awkwardly while he figures to cover his body after the blue hour. “i’m sorry for asking you to bring me home. i get tired from hopping sometimes.” he grabbed a towel that he was hanging by the gate.

“no worries. i-i’ve seen- nevermind.” your voice softened at the latter.

sungchan pursed his lips to refrain himself from smiling since he was there and witnessed when it happened. “come in, i’ll make you some tea. it’s my way of thanks.”

although he was kinder than his brother, probably more mature, he was still young that you could see through his intentions. you knew he wanted some patching up done between you and jaehyun. you hesitated for a while, but since you were there already, might as well try to talk to him—

even if there was a slim chance of making things work.

you sat on the sofa, slightly still and awkward being in the residence. little sips, light breathing and the soft wind from the fan were only heard within the living area. “did my brother cause you a lot of trouble during the camp?” sungchan asked and knowing that you were silent, he knew jaehyun probably did. “how about now?”

“actually, i think i’m the one causing more trouble for him because i feel like i’m not doing anything to help when i said i would.” you sighed as he continued to listen.

“really? i heard from the others you’re helping so much that it changed my brother.. at the least he’s not cranky.” his nose twitched so adorably that you thought it was derived from being a bunny almost his whole life. “also, there’s that envelope-” he paused while realising how your expression caught him off guard.

maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it, but he wanted you to know he wasn’t spying on you. he made that clear with his silence.

if he saw that back at the restaurant, that only meant he was there for quite some time. you let out a small smile that he was probably there not for you, but to wait for his brother’s friends. instead of bumping into them, he bumped into you.

“oh, that. it.. has a bunch of handwritten letters i’ve compiled when i struggled talking to jaehyun. i just felt that maybe it’s more sincere if i had to apologise.. y’know, eventually.”

he pursed his lips and nodded. “then why not put those words into actual words? like verbal words.” sungchan’s fingers pointed upwards, hinting that jaehyun was up in his room. “for all i know it’s the most sincere thing to do.”

crap, he’s not expressive but he’s so so mature for his age. it made you feel inferior for a moment.

“but before you do that, i have to tell you something that my dad and brother missed out about our curse. why jaehyun-hyung is more pressured than i am.”

(few minutes later)

you slid against the wall while sungchan went out to do grocery shopping. at the other side of the door, in between the thin gap, you could hear soft breathing; jaehyun was on his bed, sleeping in his dog form and it hurt you since time already passed both golden and blue hour, he should’ve transformed like his brother did. instead he laid there as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

meanwhile, jaehyun knew you entered his room. he pretended to be sleeping and expected he wouldn’t know how to act when he gets to face you. he decided to stay as he was.

until you pat then caressed his head.

he didn’t want to settle or give in for the fact you loved golden retrievers. he blamed on the shallow euphroria dogs easily feel. and because he was in his dog form, the anger he held for you disappeared. but at the same time, was your touch out of care or pity? he couldn’t figure it out. then he could hear the beats of your heart, and that made him sit up. your heart was fast. it was worrying. it was—

“why didn’t you tell me the whole story?” your voice wavered in heaving breaths as he finally looked you in the eye. his ears twitched and he faced the door, knowing that sungchan told everything.

jaehyun shook his body and whiskers moved before he telepathically answered you. “believe me i tried. i hate myself for being sensitive and i couldn’t bring to tell you because i got angry. but you have to know that i value trust more than anything.”

“you know what’s ironic?” you sighed, pressing your forehead as pain began to form. “you didn’t trust me first and and we fought because you didn’t do that. and you didn’t trust me enough that you only told me what, like 50 percent of it?”

of course he knew what you referred to.

he was going to tell you the day he visited your cottage at camp. but he didn’t get to, because ten told him news ahead of him that it ruined the purpose to talk to you. it wasn’t that he blamed him, it was due to the fact he wasn’t prepared for something like that. even for something like this.

because there was that prophecy weighing on his shoulders.

“sungchan said that it has to directly come from you, so you better tell me now before our friendship falls out.” you warned and leaned back against the headboard.

currently your friendship was on the line, wobbling on tight ropes. pushing you further away would do no good.

jaehyun sat and his paws were dignified into a comfortable position. his head laid on a cushion pillow, facing towards you. “fine. most of my family turns into wild animals, and they couldn’t control themselves in that other form. their wildlife instincts overpowers their thoughts.” he yawned.

“and it’s different for me and sungchan. when we were born, when we had our first full transformation, they were shocked to know we turn into domestic animals. we’re able to remember, think and live as if we’re still humans. at the end, it’s either of us to stop the curse.”

“so why did your brother mention that you’re the most pressured? why did it only have to be you?” this time you spoke, there was more depth into your feelings if you spoke. as sungchan said, verbally was more sincere. “you could share the burden with him.”

he sighed at the tone of your voice. “isn’t it obvious? the role is immediately passed onto me not because i’m the first born.. it’s because you suddenly could talk to me.. telepathically.”

“yeah and we couldn’t even figure that one out yet.” you scoffed remembering the times you’ve placed your efforts on that matter and now it had gone all to waste. all because you both had that fight.

he read through your eyes and sensed the intention from your words. plus he hated how you delivered it with that certain tone. “i didn’t bring this up just to blame you for my own satisfaction!” he groaned. “i brought it up so that i can apologise! i was wrong, okay?! i should’ve listened to you instead of carelessly listening to ten-”

you refrained yourself from showing any further hurt. recalling it would only make you cry. “well you were manipulated with ten’s assumptions. you believed him more than me. he had proof while i didn’t. i was in the losing end! not like i expected you to change your mind. so can we just.. get this overwith and tell me what the prophecy is?”

he was speechless for a while. you being straight-forward yet in a pained voice was too much for him. he was already softening his feelings for you and you had to tense it all up again. “‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’”

“and the ‘worse’ means you won’t transform back anymore?” you asked, the prophecy already piercing your heart as you waited for more explanation.

“that and..” he trailed off. “..we lose our humanity too. we won’t remember anything. memories erased like a snap of the finger. and we’ll just be.. another animal.”

you pushed yourself to sit up as your heart clenched tight. “jaehyun! why say it now and not before?”

“because! what is there for you to do-”

you squished the dog’s into a wrinkly mess, to the point jaehyun couldn’t see anything. his paws tried to put your arms down, but even clawing was hard for him to do. then he felt you lean forward to hug him. “y/n? what’re you doing?” you didn’t answer.

crap, this is warm. it feels.. nice. embarrassed, he put his thoughts at the back of his mind. “are you doing this out of pity? do i look that helpless-”

what crossed his mind was that you thought he needed a hug and was the only thing you could do. but you proved him wrong, so, so wrong. and why didn’t he realise it sooner in his life?

“you have to treat yourself like someone you love!”

what?

“you have to fill yourself with it! have you been thinking half-heartedly or do things half-assed because you’re different from people? do you not realise there are people who loves you? you trust them so less that you’re not confident into breaking the curse! because you didn’t really try!”

he froze in his stance, like a bullet pierced through his chest with how true your point was. he didn’t know what love was when his mother left the family. he didn’t dare to open up with his dad and brother, not his friends as for so long he didn’t do that one important thing— trust.

jaehyun thought he did that. he had enough encouragement but only to the level of content. he didn’t expect more as what else was there for people cursed like his family? “why are you so worried or do this much for me?”

“because no one actually helped you!” your arms tightened around him. “your friends were occupied into thinking that protecting you and your curse from others was the safest thing to do. it’s not! it just gets you self-conscious, conceited and too comfortable to not to do anything at all!” everything you said knocked down the pillars of his pride. he wasn’t at all living in humility if his friends did ever help.

“y/n we’re nothing more than friends. how could you be pushing yourself onto my problems-”

“i’m one of the people, jaehyun. don’t you get it now? i l-”

as if the phone line got cut off, he couldn’t hear the rest. you appeared like a television who lost its voice, however, somehow he knew what came after that. he didn’t want to admit it, after spending time with you at camp, he realised his heart felt the same.

you were quick to catch on. the golden retriever just stared at you, you couldn’t hear him as well. not even telepathically. jaehyun laid back down, ignored you and went to sleep. you nudged him, he wouldn’t move. you felt a swarm of blame towards him. if only he told you earlier, he wouldn’t be in this state where he was just another dog. mostly you blamed yourself for not taking the initiative first to fix things. you went along with your anger and his waiting game.

where did it get you? to this.

the one second revelation he heard from you and then fell into slumber, he was standing in front of himself, before a mirror. a series of himself switching from human to animal throughout the years. the glass cracked over his face. as if he entered a new world, he had to prepare mentally for what was to come.

instead he awoke like he only passed out from exhaustion. to only see you hugging your legs, head down with soft sobs and hiccups, he reached out for you yet hesitated. he checked the time, the golden hour was to arrive.

“y/n.” he called out in a low voice.

“no.” you mumbled. “i shouldn’t be hearing him.”

“but you really are, though.”

you shot your head up, tears rolling down your cheeks when you felt his touch— his large palms holding yours. he transformed, you had many questions as you thought it was too late.

confused and tired, you stared at him blankly. processing the guy before you took a whole minute to realise jaehyun transformed back. “is.. is this a joke?” you coughed and rubbed your tears. “i saw you faint- i saw how you lost the light in your eyes- i saw-”

he’s blushing. his ears are red.

jaehyun pulled you into an embrace, he caressed your head as if he held a newborn. “the curse broke around the time i realised i lacked self-care. it was the same time you said it too.”

looking back, he didn’t treat himself right since the beginning. he realised he shouldn’t have looked for a solution or someone to love him. he was the someone he was looking for, and should’ve reflected on himself than to rely too much on others.

“you’re still hugging me.” you said, stopping his trail of thoughts. you pat his back quickly and he was holding you tight. “you’re squeezing the oxygen out of me.”

“can’t i hold you longer? you’ve been so helpful even when i pushed you away. now i don’t really want to let go.” jaehyun whispered. he never felt something like this before— this urge to love someone. “what if the curse comes back when you go away?”

you felt your head bursting with temperatures your body was experiencing now. “you really have to let go!” clearing your throat, you tried to shove him away.

“no. don’t be stubborn.”

“don’t be clingy, clingy!”

“you want me to hug you though.”

“i do but- wait no that’s not- i-”

he squeezed your face between his hands. “you love me, don’t you. and you said i’m not loveable.” he teased and goodness his dimples shot you at the heart. you kicked him in the chest yet he leaned forwards, closer than usual. “i can feel your veins beating crazily.”

ah for crying out loud! “jung jaehyun.” you called him with a stern and plain voice. “get off me.”

“tsk i said i wouldn’t-”

“jaehyun you’re naked.”

hm? he pulled himself away from you, looked down and covered his lower body. ah heavens- “i’m sorr-”

a thud was heard by the door. you both turned heads to sleepy sungchan dropping a parcel delivered to jaehyun while holding a toothbrush with his mouth and prominent bed hair. “uh bro, this is-”

“dad! i think hyung’s in his mating season!”

“i’m so not!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

because the curse was lifted and jaehyun made it happen, all those who fell under it soon experienced freedom and joy after years of agony and pain and fear. feelings opposite to them showered upon them that morning like spring rain.

you sat in between jaehyun and ten, who haven’t been talking to each since they fought over little things, mainly about you. ten still didn’t believe that you were jaehyun’s girlfriend, because he recalled you guys were not going to mend things.

“so that’s it? it’s so hard to believe. she just hugged you and the curse’s gone? even more so you’re both dating?”

“ten, c’mon dude.” kun brought out his fist to bump yours. “she’ll be hanging with us from now on. you have to stop being a stuck-up.”

ten shrugged in defeat and finally nodded in acceptance. “fine. i’ll let it go. i mean the curse’s broken won’t bother jae anymore.” he turned to you. “i’m sorry y/n. jae and i have been best friends since kindergarten. so it’s kinda a brotherly instinct to protect him. it just comes out.”

“you do seem like the leader of the pack.” you fiddled with jaehyun’s fingers while he draped his arm around you.

“i thought i was the leader?” kun sounded offended, but not entirely.

jaehyun remained quiet. he told everyone what had happened. however, there was still one question left unanswered. what was the telepathy about?

what did it have to do with you and him? he thought about that real hard. were you actually a missing piece in the prophecy or did he misunderstand it? there were a lot of possibilities, a lot of ideas coming up that maybe he figured it wrong. maybe you did contribute to the breaking of the curse-

“ah!” jungwoo exclaimed as flicked the paper back and forth. he proudly showed what he found, putting the pieces together. the paper was moving quickly that the pairs of eyes couldn’t focus or see anything. “i’ve been telling you guys since camp but you wouldn’t listen to me!”

you squinted your hardest to see the words. all you got from the sheet of paper scribbles and connecting lines. the boys started to fight for the so they could read the younger one forcibly shoved in front of their faces.

jungwoo wanted his friends to feel their pride stepped on them, and held on the paper. “read the prophecy again. i’m excited-”

“you being excited about these things is nothing new-” ten yelled, and kun covered his mouth at the loud volume.

“‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’ guys, it’s already hinted in it!” he pointed at the parts he was scribbling on earlier.

he expounded the prophecy was a little misleading. it wasn’t being literal about the right mind and body. they were the results of the having the correct heart, as the two would only be affected greatly if not for the heart.

jungwoo scooted next to you. “y/n, you weren’t only the key to solving it. you were the only person who gave him that push and made him realise he should love himself for who he was. you gave him that peace of mind because you are the heart. as we all know, the mind and body can’t function without the heart.”

“that sounds sweet?” kun blushed even though he wasn’t supposed to.

“yeah sure but the telepathy happening at the same time with my curse was just a coincidence though?” jaehyun asked.

“onto my next point!” jungwoo drew on the paper again. “i realised you told us before that only family members of the same curse can talk to each other telepathically.”

jaehyun’s brows only furrowed narrower. “which doesn’t make sense because she’s not part of my family.”

jungwoo grinned widely, it almost made you nervous but if it was coming from jungwoo, it always had to be something good. “not even us lads can even talk to you with our minds though we’re close like brothers. what if it’s a sign that she will be part of your family? even if the curse’s broken, it still proves my point that you were soulmates all along.”

somehow you knew it was headed to this. what jungwoo’s saying was similar to your hunch. you weren’t confident as he was because at the time, the curse wasn’t lifted. now that it was, you never knew you were actually right.

jaehyun shrunk in his seat after hearing jungwoo’s theory. he looked at you; who was now giggling with the others. he never thought you were his soulmate, it never crossed his mind. you appeared in his life as a shadow at first, before you resurfaced and made it a roller coaster ride. it was an eye opener for him too, you loved him for who he was, his flaws— that being the curse. although there were frequent bickers, that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy or hate them. he was afraid you’d leave after knowing his transformation.

you didn’t. you stayed. not because you were forced to just to keep his secret, you stayed since you said you’d help. and that lifted weight off of his shoulders. colours came into view more spirited, clouded thoughts in his head faded and everything he heard that were once muffled became clear. he had to compare it like he was reborn.

in the end, you were still beside him, adjacent to him.