#don't rob people of the experiences of their own journeys

[stormborn-witch]

I just want to say that it's okay to let witches who are new to their craft make mistakes. We can give advise, mentor all we'd like but in the end it is their decision to do the things they wish to do.

Mistakes will be made. The journey is what is most important. They'll gain experience and wisdom along the way. If we don't let them make mistakes, or shame them for those mistakes, we are robbing them of that knowledge and wisdom.

[comradekatara]

i think about their relationship so often.

the chiastic parallels between kanna risking her life to travel to the other side of the world during a war, only for katara to make the same perilous yet inverse journey north two generations later. how the shot with kanna looking on with tears in her eyes as hama is taken by the fire nation, the ship's hull closing as she looks out at her decimated tribe, her best friend with tears in her eyes, is a beat for beat exact callback to katara looking on at aang, the only difference being that aang attempts to smile hopefully for katara before his face, too, ultimately clouds over with despair. the fact that kanna is constantly nagging katara to do her chores, to stop messing around, to follow the rules, to stay put, to listen to her brother. she knows katara, knows her intimately, because she once was her. that brave, daring, hopeful, adventurous girl who wanted nothing more than to escape the confines of her of her monotonous existence, who wanted to travel and find freedom and hope elsewhere.

but katara is now her responsibility, and she knows all too well that a girl like that can be trouble, can be a danger to herself and others. especially if she's a waterbender. kanna saw her people massacred, her best friend taken by the fire nation, her daughter killed sacrificing herself for katara, the girl who carries the hope of her entire people on her shoulders. and she loves katara, she loves her so much, sees so much of herself in her, but it is also her job to rein her in, to keep her indoors, doing domestic busywork like sewing and laundry so she doesn't try to run off, try to run all the way to the other side of the world, so her antics, through her bending mishaps or otherwise, don't cause her to accidentally alert the fire nation and have their entire fragile existence come crumbling down after she and sokka have done so much to maintain it, to protect katara, even when katara feels like she is being smothered and overdisciplined and robbed of a childhood.

katara wants the opportunity to train with a master. of course she does. she considers her waterbending the most important part of her identity, the part of her that brought hope to her tribe and killed her mother in equal measure. she's the only person left who holds the key to their cultural artform, this crucial piece of their heritage. and of course kanna would love it if katara could hone her craft, but her first priority is always keeping katara alive, and if that means she can't become a bending master, then so be it.

raising a teenager is hard, really hard. they don't like being told that ordering them around and telling them to stay in the borders you've drawn for them is "for their own good." the only reason kanna doesn't have the same problem with sokka is because he doesn't actually consider himself a teenager (although he very much is), and he not only follows her rules but enforces them. they are on the same page; safety is the priority, katara is the priority. but katara hates how restrictive their rules are, hates how sullen and strict and serious they are. how hopeless they are, how resigned they are to leading lives of misery in the fraught safety they've created for themselves. she wants to see the world, to have fun, to have friends, to help others instead of being the one constantly being protected and sheltered.

of course, kanna and sokka are not hopeless and depressed and numb by nature; they have been hollowed out into shells of themselves by the war, by the promises they've made to keep katara safe. sokka grows so much by traveling the world, absorbs so much new knowledge so quickly, makes new friends and lovers, gains new perspectives, reaches his full, incredible potential by being dragged out of the comfort zone he clings to in the pilot. and kanna has already undergone her bildungsroman, lifetimes ago. she knows what it is like, what it means to experience the adventure katara desires. but she never told her. she never once mentioned to katara that the south pole is not all she knows, that she too once longed to leave the place that was stifling her, suppressing her freedom. she is afraid to tempt katara, to be anything other than the strict authority from which she once left everything she ever knew behind to escape.

until the avatar returns. until the legend she used to tell katara before their world became too hopeless, of the old days when the avatar kept balance and the world was not at war, is made real again. when katara, who found aang, who believed in him from the beginning, brings the avatar back, through her desperation and her rage and her indomitable hope for a life that can be bigger and better than kanna and sokka's dour little pocket of resignation and grief.

kanna has always believed in katara, has always known that there would come a time when katara was to bring back hope to their tribe. so now, trusting sokka, katara's sworn protector, to stay by her side and do right by her, she ushers them on their journey. katara, her little waterbender, hero of the southern water tribe, and spitting image of kanna.

[mejcinta]

Oh, Miguel 🙄🙄

I'm glad that Sapochnik isn't returning for season 2 because so much damage has been done to Laena and Mysaria's storylines in the name of 'girlbossifying' them. And no, he clearly doesn't care about these characters as much as their fans do, only that he gets claps and rewards.

Laena had a relatively peaceful death in the book after a complicated birth, with Daemon carrying her back to bed after she died on her way to her dragon Vhagar to ride her one last time. Instead, they're reportedly giving Laena suicide by fire! Her dear dragon flames her up as Daemon watches in horror! 😩

I know. I know. The showrunners wanted to girlbossify Laena and we should all 'rejoice'. "Look at her take her fate into her own hands, delivering herself and her unborn baby (who was actually born in the book) to death under her OWN terms. How heroic!" Right? Wrong!

You know what most viewers will conclude from this radical change from the book? That Laena 'is not strong enough', 'is cruel' and that she 'doesn't care about her unborn son with Daemon'. Or worse, that she traumatized Daemon and 'clearly didn't love him enough'.

Why? Because it's always the woman's fault when something bad happens to a dearly loved male character. How dare she break his heart???

I can already smell those derogatory comments coming and it's not fair because this isn't what Laena would've done, especially to her daughters. To inflict trauma of this magnitude to her husband and children AND her dragon is NOT who Laena is, but Miguel thought so. Just because. 🙄🙄🙄

However, my issue doesn't lie with Laena's changed death alone. Mysaria also gets robbed of a defining factor for her choices in the books: her miscarriage.

The showrunners, self-proclaimed champions of women's birth struggles, ERASED Mysaria's traumatic miscarriage of her unborn son in the book (her and Daemon's baby) after being banished from Dragonstone and humiliated under Viserys' orders enacted by Otto. This is what we should've gotten in episode 2 and what had canonically caused Daemon's initial resentment towards Viserys.

But no. Instead we got a one-dimensional Mysaria without complexity. Which is interesting given that her miscarriage and banishment in the book is what could've driven her questionable political advice to Daemon and Rhaenyra in the future as their defacto Mistress of Whisperers!!! Everything about that scene was changed up in the show much to the detriment of Mysaria's storyline.

Laena and Mysaria's characters have been grossly butchered and misrepresented in the name of writers' and showrunners' egos. Not so many people will get to understand how much impact they have on other character's lives (especially Daemon's) because of the changes.

What's even more unfair is that Miguel has seemingly taken from Laena and Mysaria's stories to give to Rhaenyra for mere fan service; case in point, Daemyra. So you have a situation where Daemon and Rhaenyra's stillbirth story is elevated over the other traumatic birth experiences (by case of omission or inversion in Mysaria and Laena's stories respectively) as Daemon will most definitely be by Rhaenyra's side when it happens and also get to share in her grief. They get to keep their storyline in the book while the others don't.

Keep in mind that Laena and Mysaria's experiences were put there to highlight Daemon's journey through the years and his changing sentiments, beliefs and understanding of things as well as his relationship with other characters (especially with his brother Viserys). Not just to merely compete with or sabotage another ship.

To see Laena and Mysaria's canon pregnancy trauma storylines being pushed aside and replaced with rhetoric, never to be known by non-book readers, is upsetting. Their experiences told us lots about their mental states, personalities, family, backgrounds and even the Rogue Prince they were entangled with. It was sad, it was beautiful, it fleshed them out and made them feel like real, average women with real, average struggles. But the show-runners have robbed these female characters for brownie points instead.

I hope these mistakes won't be repeated in the coming season(s). I truly hope they won't for the sake of the beauty of the story.

[therogerclarkfanclub]

I normally only try to cover Roger's audiobooks on this platform (with a very questionable degree of success 😕), but apparently Gone Outlaw is a really good western novel, so much so it even earned Rob Wiethoff's seal of approval.

This is not an audiobook nor is Rob part of it. It is a good old-fashioned paperback (and hardcover) novel, though it is also available in e-book format if that's your jam.

So if romance novels, westerns and cowboys are your thing, you may want to give this one a try.

Overview:

She can't forget the past. He can't outrun it. When a gang of bank robbers hides out at her family’s ranch to evade the law, Dinah Hance watches in horror as notorious outlaw Sal Valentin kills her father in cold blood. Dinah vows revenge for his murder and insists on joining the posse pursuing the gang. Fiery and strong-willed, she’s quick to shoot and slow to forgive, but gang member Joseph Gray seems different from the rest. Joseph has been with Sal since he was a boy, looking to him as a father figure after the War of Secession robbed him of his parents. But Sal’s lack of conscience and escalating brutality bring Joseph’s loyalty into question. Torn between the gang and his attraction to Dinah, he’s forced to consider what he really wants in life.

What other people saying about Gone Outlaw:

"Gone Outlaw is AN INCREDIBLE JOURNEY that had me captivated from the very beginning. The descriptive writing stimulated all of my senses, and I really enjoyed being transported into this world from the comfort and safety of my own home. Thank you Madison K. Thames for providing me the opportunity to experience this TRAGIC AND BEAUTIFUL story." — Rob Wiethoff, Red Dead Redemption actor

"A gripping story with a deft and evocative narrative style authentically inhabiting the American frontier. An exciting debut." — Warren Fahy, New York Times bestselling author of Fragment

"Thames was born to write. Her characters live large on the page and the imagination." — Adam Bray, author of Star Wars and Marvel books for DK

"Terrific Western, exciting action, and a torturous romance that keeps you turning pages. Don't miss this!" — C.S. Lakin, award-winning author

"There is lots of action in this one to satisfy the reader who likes shoot 'em ups and enough tender moments to satisfy the romance lover. The characters are well portrayed, the writing good… I recommend it." — Regan Walker, award-winning historical fiction author

Gone Outlaw is available from Amazon in paperback, hardcover and E-book formats for $17.99, $27.99, and $9.99 respectively. You can also read a sample when you click on the link.

[kitchenlittle]

My Writober Story

I thought I'd share a story of something that happened to me a few years ago, that gave birth to my mask kink. I debated posting this but whats a better time than now?

Warnings: Mentions of (hot) scare actors, underage teens (don't worry nothing bad), flirting, general depictions of haunted house attractions and hay rides, mentions of weapons/fake blood/alcohol/bullying/cursing, revealing costumes, sexual fantasy, sex in general, and mentions of arousal.

Every year I go to a Halloween attraction, so far over the last few I've only gone to 2 haunted houses. (I have a habit of visiting the history museum or pumpkin patches instead since I'm a big scaredy cat) 'Safe to say I don’t think I’ll ever forget the second time ..3 years ago…an event that opened up Pandora's box for my poor mind…a day that changed my brain's chemistry forever. Many thoughts about that evening dig their heels into my nerves every time I see the pumpkin decor take over at my favorite stores. One specifically has plagued me for ages since..…I should’ve asked that employee to fuck my brains out. 

I remember it being chilly outside, likely because I decided to go on Hallows' Eve. The leaves were crunchy, hued with reddish-browns and mustard-yellows. I could hear the shrills of nearby people being driven hellishly down a sketchy dirt road. The lines were long but luckily the faint smells of fair food and an excited group of chatty teenagers complimenting my costume kept me sane. Slowly I watched as  each large group of people were packed into the school bus and taken to some unknown destination. Soon the familiar wafts of gasoline washed over me and not much later I shuffled my way down the isles of the vehicle, sitting in the back where I thought I was safe from any scares. That was my first rookie mistake, my second was trying to take in the scenery of the bus rather than keeping tabs on the Micheal Myers clad employee that was about to scare me shitless in a few minutes. When the bus started rev up I expected a mediocre experience, maybe some light scares here and there, rock music, maybe some funny lights. I was wrong... I realized that after the announcer asked that we all screamed as loud as we could. I don’t remember if he was dressed up like the rest of us guests but I remember his monotone voice as the lights flickered. 

“Alright everyone give us a nice scream before we make our journey!”

You would have thought he hated he hated living with the way he spoke, his energy energy even carried into our screams as they were low and uncaring, mine were muffled due to my rubber mask's unforgiving room for me to breathe. I saw him visibly roll his eyes and got a bit depressed at the thought of at least not getting a good jump that night. Well... I got one while I looked into the window to my right to distract myself. Suddenly my body jerked as the loudest blood curdling volume of Rob Zombie's “Living dead girl” blasted my ear drums, the door slammed shut, the once jittering lights above turned red, and the bus took off at a breakneck speed down the unfortunately UNEVEN, CURVE FILLED, DIRT ROAD. Memories of my favorite Child's Play movie flooded every crevice of my mind and a forgotten childish  terror bubbled up in my chest. We all really screamed then, which only added to my fright..As the lights turned turn on and off, blood started to pound in my eardrums. I remembered a crucial detail that would make my night just that much worse. It rained the day before, meaning the ground we were driving on was still soft and probably muddy. I panicked though, no one gave a fuck about my little panic attack since they were abou to have one of their own, a famous slasher decided he was going to be the first thing I saw as my eyes tried to escape the visual of the fleeing dirt paths infront of the bus. I ducked my head down like the scaredy cat I am, looking out to the side when I realized that there were more actors tugging at the windows, reaching in at guests, even walking and riding the top on the roof, banging at the metal and yelling every insult imaginable. My shock and feelings of wanted to piss myself finally subsided when I closed my teary eyes...and then the bus stopped. Surprisingly, the slashers were gone, everyone stopped screaming, and the scene was replaced with the sight of an impressively decorated haunted house. One that of course had another long line. In my boot heels, WW1 era nurse’s uniform, and a plague doctors mask I waddled out onto the sweet stationary grass under my trembling body. I swore that the bus driver's attitude was a ruse to get our guard down,especially after I saw his lazy smirk behind the glass. I'd never judge a book by it's cover again. Crazily enough after all that that wasn’t the life changing event....

I stomped through broken small twigs and branches to get close to the entrance of the haunted house.. With the groups of people waiting in front of me it was safe to assume I atleast had about an hour before I could enjoy its horrors. Another group of teenagers started to chat me up. Unfortunately they were drunk. They taunted me, while putting their beer stained hands on my mask, trying to get me to scare them…I was assumed to be a scare actor. Unfortunately knowing the climate of the people in this area of the South they'd likely to have a reason to be violent with me if I obliged. My nurse's uniform was figure hugging so at least if they did there was no way they couldn’t claim they didn’t know I was a girl. Luckily I wasn't dumb enough to provoke them or have sudden moves. A masked employee patrolling around came to my aid, hiding his effort to make sure they didn’t escalate as a way to have a close up stare down with me.  Like two slashers betting each other to make the first move I held eyes contact with him. Hw was fairly tall, clad in all black except for a halloween mask and machete thrown over his shoulder. Despite his stare down I had to be silly and tilt my head to the side at him.

“What's going on?”

I giggled out to him through my words. I saw him roll his eyes playfully before giving me another look and walking away. The drunk teens had turned their attention to something else. Silently I thanked him l Despite him having a nice voice and towering over me that wasn’t the mind bending event either. I went through the line with no issues, walked up creaky wooden steps already showing wear and tear after being trampled on for weeks. It was a typical haunted house in the way that it did its job well enough. You know, doing it's job well enough scare the living hell out of me! Especially since their main gimmick was actors acting as decorations instead of being hidden behind walls and behind doors like I expected. The scares I got that night had me clutching my nonexistent pearls as I stumbled about. I unfortunately had to get into another line afterwards. The line was situated under a wooden pavilion, a lot of people were packed in like sardines but there were televisions tucked into corners playing, ‘Friday the 13th’. That pacified me enough to endure the snail paced walking for the next hour. Though I couldn’t help but listen in on the conversation of those behind me. Once again another group of teenagers but nicer and way more excited than I was expecting for a  simple hayride. Bored and heels digging into my ankles I decided to ask them about the hayride and what was so good about it. Eagerly they word vomited out a story of an infamous employee that worked on the ride.

“NO, NO, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HE’s SO...FUCKiNG ...HOT!”

“Listen girl you will get  it when you get on, I’m asking for his number. He’s so fine that we had to get on twice!”

I stared at them. I thought, ‘how hot could he really be for them to think it’s worth waiting almost 2 -4 hours in the cold to see him again?’ No shade but as a southerner I've noticed that what some people consider hot is a lot of time mediocre  as there aren’t a lot of choices in the small town I’m from. I’ll admit I was skeptical. At most I was expecting some muscly guy dressed as Michael Myers or something , maybe even some Ghostface  dude with a cool voice. The group behind me practically squealed as we were seated on the wooden carriage to the woods. I sat on the hay and stared out onto the scenic path ahead. It was honestly inevitable for the first 3 minutes to not look around and just enjoy the gorgeous view. It was so pretty. One thing I can say about living in the country is that you can’t beat a full moon and a lush forest. Coupled with nice folks and delicious smells of the distant food court the weight seemed worth it. The blasts of cool air on my hot face was short lived as he came up to the first attraction, or theme? Zombie Hillbillies with what looked like oddly realistic guns? Yeah that scared all us when a zombie ran at a full sleep and a actor let off an actual shot near our heads as our carriage hightailed it out the premises. The track of the walking dead playing was unmistakable. Next? A Succubus den. A bunch of pretty girls wearing leather skin tight suits, beckoning my fellow riders and I to stay long enough to have our souls taken. Screaming, sighs, and even the cracking of a few whips overwhelmed us. We moved away, the red and purple lights we were basking in started to fade away and their siren song with it. They killed their roll, too bad I wasn't feeling it as much as some of the other guys and some girls on the wagon. I was feeling good, today had been fun but not too scary, something I preferred to just plain unfiltered fear on my favorite holiday.

We trudged through some more scenic forest until I heard the unmistakable melody of a circus music. I quickly reversed the direction of my gaze only to see what looked like a box with red light bleeding through its cracks. Two men with clown costumes opened its doors. I braced myself as I was sure this would be the last attraction of the night. I really couldn't miss the squealing of the teenagers I was seated next to. They were practically falling over themselves, grabbing at each others clothes and hyperventilating while giggling manically, though incoherent ramblings I heard words like ‘hot’, ‘fine’, and ‘he’s almost here!’. I had to tilt my head at them out of slight second-hand embarrassment and pure confusion. No one was inside, which was a uncharacteristic for this ride so far. It was until I heard the rattling of a chainsaw that I realized how close they really were. Most of the actors had been chilling behind the ride staring at us, it gave me the jumpscare of my life let's say. We were then bum rushed by a bunch of clowns, laughing and pulling at the ride to rock it back and forth. A contortionist showing off her skills on a nearby side stage. Some got uncomfortably close but then walked away quickly as I could tell they were trying to decipher if I was a fellow actor or not. For whatever reason they kept flirting with the woman sitting adjacent to me, despite her being enclosed in the arms of her husband. I quickly realized I was being a complete hater because she loved it and her husband was being a good sport about it. Regardless I still didn’t see anything extraordinary like they had promised. I simply shrugged my shoulders. Maybe the clowns were the main attraction of the night? Yeah some of them were fairly hot, as hot as a few guys in Halloween masks while cursing us all out could be. It seemed like the hay ride's shenanigans were wrapping up since the clowns were leaving. That was until the wagon we all were sitting on threw itself into overdrive. Gunning it, moving faster than it ever cared to before. I saw trees ride past me the same way it did on the bus, but the manic laughter continued . 'WAS IT NOT OVER?! TRACTORS CAN’T MOVE THIS FAST!…or at least it shouldn’t be…?Right?' Suddenly we came to screeching halt, but not really a stop more like a moderate slow down. My panic wasn't given any time to settle in before I felt a particularly sudden shift of weight on our wooden vehicle. I could barley see through my now foggy plague mask's goggles but it was an unmistakable figure. The squeals of my counterparts turned into full blown shrieks as the statuesque shadow entered our ride with a particularly large rifle, a clown mask on its face, and a particular malice in its stance. He didn’t need bullets since all of us were already floored. A sight to behold, curly dirty blonde locks peeked from behind the face covering, miles of freckled, pale, skin peaked from underneath his ripped overalls, and his attempts to subtly catch his breath sent chills down my spine. He was mouth watering, but honestly if the modest muscle exposed at his biceps and underneath his dungarees were a climax then his voice was the final act. One of the perks of living in the South to me has always been southern accents that some men have…but lord the sweet honey dripping from this man lips made me want to set my black ass to my factory settings. For some brief seconds I thought being barefoot and pregnant were the only way to live happily the minute he spoke. There wasn’t an instrument in existence that competed with the octave his baritone vocals were set on. I was slack jawed and flabbergasted. If my fellow southern black women in my area were to describe a man like this we’d say he said he had that ‘cowboy walk’. Meaning he was the perfect representation of why America was so smitten with the farm-hands throughout the decades. I couldn't say a word if I tried. I watched a particularly bold and familiar girl muster up the courage to speak to him as he was getting ready to point his gun at one at one of the riders.

“H-hi, do you remember me?”

Completely breaks character and acknowledges her presence. 

“Oh? Oh yeah, it’s you…*comes to a realization as he turns* *chuckles*  don’t tell me you came back to see me?”

“I-I did, um…so um.. -you have a girlfriend?”

Now everyone got quiet, even if the wagon was still high, telling down the moist dirt road. Now I knew the girl was young but she shouldn't be too much younger than us considering we were the same height. A dumb assumption I know but I assumed that she and her friends wouldn’t get this far only to be a kid….right? He seemed to have the same idea. 

“Depends…how old are you?”

Sheepishly I saw the surprise and disappointment spread like a virus from her face to theirs. Her porcelain fingers tremble around her phone as the prospect of getting his number become a a fleeting wish…surely she didn’t go this far and was-

“I’m…14…*nervous laugh*”

“Oh hell no”

He didn’t even give it a second thought before sighing and moving his rifle to his shoulder. He gave us all a reassuring nod and proceeded to backflip off the moving cart. She pouted while her friends comforted. I just stared back  into the abyss only to make eye contact with  the mysterious stranger. This is going to sound terrible, but I feel like that was a needed experience for her. (First all, she just ruined the  chance of anyone legal to get a taste of this guy, like me! Jk Jk) Even when I was her age, mind you I’m 21 now, no matter how many crushes I ha on my older peers , I still knew better not to ask them out. You had to be 18 or older to even work at this place. Though, I still felt terrible for her and my maternal urges wanted to go over there and comfort her since I knew that kinda stuff took a huge blow to one’s ego, and I knew she didn’t know any better. I had the chance to ask her if she was older before the little caravan came to a halt. They didn’t drop us off  exactly at the drop off spot though, we’d have to walk a quarter of a mile back to the lit up crowns in  the distance. Never in my life have I needed to walk more, being hot and bothered with a bunch of people around isn’t ideal ( for me at least). That cold air was doing more than its share at cooling me down, too bad the nearby lights were only coaxing me further into a daze as it neared.   I walked on the path  and stumbled through the bush. A recognizable voice poured itself a molasses-like tone right into my ears. 

“I’ll see you later right?”

I knew what he was referring to, he thought I was a fellow employee too, the workers would congregate after the attraction closed down, eat, intermangle, and then go home. I wish I could be there and see what he looked like and maybe a little more since he was single as long as whoever he was talking to was legal. I couldn't be happier that the rubber mask covered my lovestruck expression. 

“Of course”

He did his famous nod and retreated back into the leaves, to unintentionally seduce another group. Of course I didn’t go, I didn’t work there it was already 1 am, I needed to get home unfortunately. I still wondered though ‘what if I did go?’ and ‘why did he care if I was there or not?’. It wasn’t until I turned around in the mirror later on that I realized the culprit for his curiosity. Lets just as historically bum pads were made to take some weight off the back side  and  rear end look more ample and rounded, maybe even stand out a bit under heavy garments. Let's just say I’ve never needed one. 

Happy Halloween Everyone. Remember that despite this story, they do not harass scare actors, they are just doing their job and don;t deserve to be sexually harassed.

[jamesisasimp]

Aka the Actor AU

It's a strange thing, being a survivor of childhood trauma, and it's even stranger when strangers on the internet are applauding you for it.

It's been three years. Three years since he left. Three years since people haven't been able to stop talking about it. It was hard to expect it fly under the radar when Sirius, being who he is, was photographed corralling his little brother with a bleeding nose and blood dripping off of his chin away from their childhood home. That's the media's favorite, they use it in just about every article about the ordeal, of which there is a plethora.

Sirius hates it just as much as he does.

But it paints a nice picture, doesn't it? Regulus is the weak, helpless little brother that needs saving, and Sirius is the protective older brother that saves him. It's honestly not that far from the truth.

After the court case, some pictures of the two of them walking out of the courthouse with their lawyer team and Remus came in very close second, but those faded out in time. The buzz about the whole thing faded out in time, the whole second year it wasn't mentioned at all aside from a few anniversary articles and interviews that Regulus has since blocked out of his memory. If he really wants to remember, he can just type his own name into YouTube and find the video.

But the third year. This year. Today.

It's bad.

And he knew it would be. It has been bad ever since The Lyre came out.

Regulus came out with five movies in three years, one of which hasn't even premiered yet. Not that it needs to. Most of it was thanks to Sirius who, using his hard earned connections that Regulus did nothing to deserve, got him right into his first movie just a few weeks after everything had settled down. He doesn't deserve to be when he did next to nothing to earn them, but Regulus is proud of all of them, even the ones that no one really liked or saw.

The Lyre was the only one he auditioned for on his own. And he regrets it and he doesn't.

It was the best filming experience of his life. The story was powerful, Patroculus was an amazing character to play, a role that Regulus fit right into the moment he put on the costume. He's thankful every single day that he had the honor of being a part of it. But it was that role that put him into the public eye, the one that made him famous, as many people online have not been afraid to blatantly point out.

He went from Sirius's Black's little brother to Regulus Arcturus Black in about a month's time.

And it was only natural, then, that all the people that were obsessed with him without even knowing him now would try to figure out all they could about him. There were Tumblr blogs and Facebook groups dedicated to supporting him and his "journey to finding himself after he was robbed of his childhood" - at least that's how Buzzfeed likes to encapsulate the entirety of his trauma into a headline.

And now it's the anniversary again. The day that picture was taken, the day it was posted, the day Regulus got out. The day everyone else found out.

Today.

He shouldn't have even looked at his phone, he knows better. But he was hungry and didn't want to get up and figured he'd just order something from delivery.

He should've just starved.

It's not fair. They don't know anything.

The less obnoxious fans simply post their support, and that's not great either but it's fine. What they don't seem to understand is that it's been three years and he's gone through - is still going through - extensive therapy. He doesn't need them to tell him that what Walburga and Orion Black did to him and his brother was wrong, he knows. He knew a long time ago, and the reminder still fucking stings.

Especially when everyone and their mom has an opinion on it that they feel the need to post in one form or another.

So that, Sirius, is why he's not getting up, you fucking twat. He's staying in bed and starving and watching one of the only Disney movies that doesn't have shit to do with a family dynamic while his phone has been punted to the other side of his bedroom.

Thank you very fucking much.

Regulus would've been very content with spending his day that way too, but there was one fatal flaw in his plan to plummet into self-pitying misery. He forgot he gave Sirius a key.

More accurately, he gave Remus a key, because he was the only one of the two of them that Regulus trusted not to lose it. But that was for emergencies, and this hardly counts as an emergency, Remus. Regulus is just in day old sweats, sprawled out in the middle of a bed with only one pillow left on it after he threw the others and all the covers off in a fit of frustrated rage because they wouldn't get off and it was just so fucking hot, playing tug-a-war between his teeth and fist with a possibly expired gummy worm from the pack in his bedside table.

Perfectly fucking fine.

Sirius opens the door and takes one step into the bedroom and seems to come to a very different conclusion.

None of that bothers him though, it's the tv he's squinting at. And then his shoulders sink. "A Hundred and One Dalmatians. Oh, Reg..."

"Fuck off."

Sirius does not, in fact, fuck off. Instead he crosses the room and decides to do the worse possible thing and throw open the curtains. Regulus makes a strangled noise, akin to one a cat might make if its tail just got stepped on.

It's too bright and Regulus is a vampire so he just covers his face with his only remaining pillow.

"I hate you so fucking much, you fucking bitch!" he tells him, feeling the mattress dip toward one side and immediately kicking at where Sirius must be sitting. Sirius kicks back. "Where's Remus? I want Remus, not your sunshine and daisies ass."

"He's in the- ow!" Sirius somehow manages to wrestle Regulus's legs against the mattress, which, as Regulus can see once he yanks the pillow away from him too, he has done by simply laying on them. "He's in the kitchen making you breakfast, bitch. Or technically lunch now, since it's almost one."

Regulus just rolls his eyes and tries to squirm until Sirius frees his legs again. "Would've been one in the morning before I got up if you two hadn't come waltzing in and ruined my day. Shouldn't you be rubbing your dicks together or something?"

Sirius's expression changes and he looked so darn sad at Regulus that it's almost comical. "Oh, baby, is that what you think good gay sex is like?"

This time Regulus kicks him directly in the chest and nearly knocks him out of the bed. Shame, he was hoping he'd go flying into those stupid fucking windows he felt the need to open.

Sirius, as he does everything, handles it with grace and just brushes himself off before throwing one of the discarded pillows at him. Regulus catches it with every intention of throwing it right back at his stupid face, and then-

"Were you really not gonna eat today?"

He decides to hug that pillow against his chest instead.

And he doesn't want to answer, so he doesn't. He doesn't need to because Sirius knows. He just shift his gaze back to the tv screen.

"Those puppies are so lucky. Look at how hard their parents are trying to get back to them. Wonder what that's like..."

"Reg-"

"No." He doesn't mean to snap as much as he does, but he can't help it. "I'm so fucking tired of everyone trying to tell me how I should feel and how I'm better off without them and all that shit. I just- I wanna feel how I feel about it."

"Okay-"

"And I feel like I wish our parents were good parents! That loved and cared about us and gave a fuck- and would cover themselves in fireplace soot to come save us." Regulus would take Pongo and Purdy over Orion and Walbruga any day, and they were fucking cartoon dogs. "Instead of just wishing they were dead."

Sirius is sighing again, and this time when he crawls into Regulus's bed again he wraps his arms around him and holds on. And Regulus protests for a while, but eventually he stops, just like Sirius knew he would. And they stay like like for a while as Cruella careens herself off the side of a cliff.

"Emma Stone did it better," Regulus murmurs and, though Sirius's doesn't verbally respond, he can hear soft chuckles coming from the space between his shoulder blades were Sirius's face is pressed.

It takes a little while longer before Sirius says, "I'll be your Dalmatian dad." It's quiet, but Regulus hears him. "Well, actually, maybe I'd make a better Purdy and Remus could be your Dalmatian dad-"

"I didn't need to know which one of you was the dom in the relationship, brother."

"Come on, you already knew."

"You're disgusting."

"And you smell like cheese."

Against his best attempts not to, that one does make Regulus snort into laughter. "That would be three cups of easy mac I fed myself last night," he smiles, and Sirius makes a wounded sound.

"Do you ever even use the stove?" he asks, as if he's not a man that could burn water trying to make pasta.

"No," Regulus hums. "I just bought it so Remus could show off when he comes over."

"Hey, that's my trophy husband," Sirius reminds him and begins to brush out his hair with his fingers. And normally Regulus would tell him to fuck right off, but today is... today. And it feels nice. So. "Not yours, you can get your own."

"But I want that one."

"Yeah," Sirius hums, "well you can't have him."

Not that Regulus would ever do anything to come between the two of them. Not when they're so good together. Not when they've helped him so much. He never says it and hardly acts like it, which he regrets, but... he doesn't think he'd ever have gotten through this without them.

And, despite his current state, he really is in a better place now. He really does love his job and his life and his fans, today is just... too much. Too fucking much.

But it's going to be today for at least a few more hours, and Regulus is feeling like being a little bitch about it. So he just twists and turns in Sirius's arms so their noses nearly touch, and the breathes his artificial cheese and gummy worm breath directly into his brother's face. The way Sirius immediately jumps back and scrambles away, like he's been burned, make Regulus burst into laughter.

And that feels so much better than crying. Contrary to what the movies portray, him crying is an awful ordeal of a pressure headache and his face so scrunched up it hurts, random bodily jolting sobs, and very little actual tears. All in all, not a fun experience.

He is very much prefers to laugh.

"Holy fuck!" his brother is squawking, now standing on the side of the bed looking severely scornful. Regulus stretches out his limbs like a starfish now that he has his bed back. "When was the last time you brushed your teeth, you god damn animal?"

Regulus pretends to think about it. "I don't really remember, actually..."

Sirius gags. "Okay, get your pasty ass up and slosh some mouthwash at least. Then you're eating and taking a shower and putting on some clothes and we're going out," he lists.

"The fuck I am," Regulus wrinkles his nose. "Have you fallen on your head, recently dear brother? Because we can't go outside today without being swarmed by cameras." And not even Sirius is dense enough to believe that isn't a huge problem.

"Believe it or not, I am aware," Sirius hums, disappearing through the open door to the attached bathroom. He comes back with the bottle of mouthwash and a cup.

Regulus fucking hates mouthwash.

Sirius does not care and unscrews the bottle anyway. "We're not going out anywhere public, I actually wanted to take you to meet a friend. Remember James?"

"The guy you fawned over for weeks when you were doing Galway Girl?"

"That's the one. He actually just got his screenplay approved for production, and... I think you'll really like it, Reg," Sirius tells him. And he knows that Regulus hates it when he gets jobs for him so he quickly adds, "You don't have to take it, of course. I can't even be sure you'll be offered it. But... it might be nice to take your mind off all this shit for a bit today."

Regulus is still glaring at the bottle of mouthwash. He honestly doesn't think he has the energy, or that anything could take his mind off the memories. But... sure. Whatever. His other plans weren't all that pressing.

Sirius always spoke so highly of James too. Regulus has never met him, even though Sirius meets up with him on a pretty regular basis to go out for lunch and bowling when he's in town. He's seen pictures of the two of them together and they follow each other on social media, but Regulus has never actually interacted with James.

He was a junior writer on the writing team for Sirius's first movie, Galway Girl. Barely anyone saw it, at least not until Sirius hit it big and then suddenly everyone was watching his old films to suck up as much of his content as they could. It was a decent enough film about brotherhood, two guys that started a band and broke up because of a girl that ended up just using them for their money anyway. There's a happy ending, Regulus just doesn't remember what it is.

Anyways, they were both new to the industry at the time, it was both of their first big film, so of course they bonded over being the youngest two on set.

Last Regulus heard, James wrote a book, is working on it's sequel, co-wrote some episodes of a Netflix original last year, and now he's got his own feature.

He's been busy.

"Will there be food?" is what Regulus asks.

Sirius rolls his eyes, but at this point, Regulus can tell, he's not even surprised. "Sure. As long as there's not any cheese, you're cut off."

And then he tries to offer him the cup of mouthwash he poured and Regulus just springs out of bed and runs to the other side of the room.

Remus walks in carrying a grilled bacon, sausage, egg and cheese sandwich (that smells devine) and a glass of pomegranate juice, which he nearly spills in Sirius's efforts to chase Regulus around the four corners of his bedroom with the mouthwash cup. Regulus has just leaped on top of his bed to escape, and that's how he gets such a clear view of the utterly unimpressed, deadpan of Remus Lupin-Black's face. His mouth and eyebrows are just parallel lines, and it makes Regulus laugh so much he falls forward into a giggly ball on his bed.

Remus find it significantly less funny.

"I'm starting to think the spoils of being a sugar baby aren't worth it," he sighs. "Good morning, Regulus."

"Thought it was afternoon?"

"It is. I was just trying to make you feel like a slightly less terrible human being," Remus replies and sets the plate and glass down on the bedside table, the only surface seemingly undisturbed in the whole room. "Now do I even want to know what all of this is about?"

"Regulus's breath reeks and he won't take any mouthwash!" Sirius accuses. And yes, it's true, but Regulus still rolls his eyes like it's the most ridiculous claim in the world.

"It tastes like cold fucking feet, I don't want it!" he complains.

Remus, who appears to be deeply reconsidering his life choices, just let's out the heaviest, most I'm-fucking-done-with-this-shit sigh.

"Regulus," he says. "Slosh the fucking mouthwash."

Regulus pouts at him. "You're just being a bitch without even asking what I wanted today?"

"Fine," Remus crosses his arms. "Would you like to be coddled or would you like for me to be a bitch?"

"I would like to be coddled, thank you."

"Too fucking bad, I'm a bitch by nature. Now take your mouth wash and eat that delicious food I worked so hard to make you before I shove it down your throat."

Remus Lupin-Black, everybody.

"Wow," Regulus whistles but reaches to take the cup nonetheless. "Careful talking to me like that, you're gonna make Siri jealous."

[patelrm20]

Final Part 1

Title: Shine in your light

For part 1 of the final, I chose to use rocks to make an outdoor artwork piece. My inspiration for this piece was to showcase the idea that everyone wants to fit in and be like everyone else, but it is important to celebrate the characteristics that make you an individual. In this society, people tend to be shunned for being different, but I think that it is something that should be appreciated. To show this, I had a large clump of rocks together, and some rocks "leaving" that mass and becoming an individual, with one rock at the end to show the complete transition from anyone to someone.

Final Part 2

For part 2 of the final, I chose to make an inspirational poster and put it at the main entrance of the library. My message served to remind people not to compare themselves to others and to find their own path to success. Many times people see a successful person and feel upset that they are not at that point yet. It is important to keep in mind that everyone has their own journey, and most importantly, they should be enjoying their journey to success to make it all worthwhile.

Final Part 3

Title: A Very Rob/Fal Imagination

For part 3 of the final, I chose to draw the Rob/Fal circle in an abstract style. I drew this circle with the buildings since it is a big part of my Bonas experience. I lived in these buildings my freshman year and I am now an RA in these buildings. I made many of my friends in these buildings and overall have spent a lot of time here. I chose to draw the bus too since I don't have a car on campus, so I used the bus to get around a lot. I chose to draw it in an abstract style to emulate what I saw freshman year coming to college for the first time. I used bright colors to show the bright expectations I had coming into college.

[sources-across]

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[john-langley-bristol-blogger]

I think I'm starting to like some of this stuff about Allah's followers!

Now, I have to add upfront that I am not a religious person by any means, and converting to any religion just isn't my thing. However, I believe certain aspects of every faith bring value to our lives in one way or another.

I closed the previous blog post pondering where my mental processing journey would take me next as this previous post left much room for further and deeper thought on immigration and multiculturalism.

It would have been easy, almost too easy to jump to all manner of hypotheses and conclusions regarding the seemingly endless stream of illegals landing on our coastline pretty much on a daily basis and continue that narrative in the here and now: and who knows, I may well do at a later date.

As I recall, it was the word 'integration' that prompted the chain of thought which led me to address what Muslim migrants may bring to the British table, so to speak, and what we could take from their culture that would best benefit Britain as we head into the future and enable both sides to reach a satisfactory, and workable compromise, while upholding our Britishness and not becoming another Muslim country with Sharia laws dictating how our government must be led via religious doctrine.

Call me visionary, perhaps, but I don't believe I'm the only person seeing the opportunities in terms of law and order, and the benefits to our economy. Take for example shoplifting. The simple act of cutting off a perpetrator’s hand would save the retail sector as a whole over £7bn per annum in stock loss alone while sending a robust deterrent message to others. Just think about it for a minute. People complain about the rising cost of living and food poverty. So, let it sink in that a £7bn saving at the retail end would be a considerable saving to consumers if food prices were lower as a result. It's a no-brainer.

In addition, adopting such a measure would also go some way to appeasing the thousands of Muslim-owned 'corner shops' who struggle to provide a quality retail experience for their customers, and when robbed must momentarily give thought to what would happen to a perpetrator in the country of their ancestral heritage where theft of any description is punished by amputation. I can see this also serving as just punishment for graffiti idiots who randomly tag their names, spoil our environment and cost councils thousands of pounds of local taxpayers’ money to clean it off, only for it to be replaced by further wanton idiocy within days.

Another heinous crime, that now removes this conversation away from Muslim law, is nonetheless something I believe a great many people would be wholly in support of, and this is the castration of paedophiles. Although I quite like the idea of hanging people in public places, the cost benefits of castration against hanging are imminently more beneficial as there's no need for the expense of a stage and gallows (including labour costs to build). On top of this, it would also remove the cost of prison time for those who are convicted of child sex crimes. There again, rethinking the gallows concept, I suppose if it were a public stage, when hanging isn't taking place the area could be hired out for other public performances, such as death metal gigs, and similar. So, it could realistically turn a profit, whereas there's no money to be made from castration that I can think of at this moment.

Never mind, moving on to other matters I'm trying hard to veer away from the idea of stoning people to death as I think the public is way too volatile by nature and we'd end up in a situation where it wouldn't just be stones, it would be anything around the house that's redundant and fit for the tip. Like old, broken window frames. Perhaps an old ironing board, and nan's old tea set. So, in reality, there would be a head popping out of the ground surrounded by flytipping that's really bad for the environment. Unless, of course, local authorities were made to provide areas for public stoning.

In which case, the public could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.

I guess that just leaves the criminally insane, serial rapists, and people who just like to repeat murder because there's nothing worth watching on the telly, or Ant and Dec occupying Saturday nights and trips to the jungle simply drove them to it. Oh, and terrorists as well, let's not forget! Surely there has to be some cost-saving benefits to the public here, right? Have I covered throwing people off of buildings (Sharia stylie) yet? One moment please, while I read back.

No, apparently I haven't. Now, to my best knowledge, it costs somewhere around £1.000 per week to keep a prisoner incarcerated. So, if someone is found to be criminally insane, a serial rapist, or a multiple murderer and serving only a twenty-year sentence, for example, by my childlike mathematic ability that works out to over a million quid. Or, put another way, what I aspire to win on the lottery each week to keep me in fags, hot chocolate, and serve three cats that cost me a fortune the longer they live as I seem to spend more on them than I do on myself.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, throwing people off of tall buildings. Now, forgetting gay people, I completely understand people's revulsion to any suggestion of the sort. However, on the plus side, the mere mention of child killers, and serial rapists ending their days in such a way would get the attention of just about everyone. In fact, I'd go as far as to say there'd likely be quite a big audience for such an event, and perhaps tickets could be sold at maybe £10 each, it would more than cover any outlay and show a healthy profit that could be put towards filling potholes in our roads, for example. Other suggestions are welcome, by the way.

It goes without saying, I hope, that any suggestion of exclaiming "Allahu Akbar" immediately before launching anyone toward their death would be highly inappropriate, as not only would it give false hope to our Muslim friends that we are fully adopting their ways, I can see issues around plagiarism too. Or worse still accusations of 'cultural misappropriation'.

Let's not forget the flak white women get for daring to have their hair in dreadlocks. So, I've come up with a suggestion which, I accept, may need a little more work, but I'm sure you'll get the gist of it, even in its rough draft stage, to the rhythm of that well-known classic, Humpty Dumpty.

"Noncie-noncie sat on a wall.

Noncie-noncie had a great fall.

Ambulance services and supporting policemen,

Couldn't put noncie together again".

Okay, I admit it has its flaws, and before all you equality and diversity jobsworths start foaming at the mouth about it being sexist and non-inclusive of women, it had to bloody rhyme, alright! Now, get over yourselves and move on. Although having said that, further thought needs to be given to equality while being somewhat sensitive around the small issue of the predilection, some, but far from all Muslims have for under-age females in this country. In this respect, and in the spirit of equal opportunity and cooperation, I feel it only fair that Muslim kiddy-fiddlers should be treated with the same proportionality as their white counterparts, with no exceptions, and off the building ye go.

Afghanistan, Pakistan, and other such places this is not. Here, we would adopt a more responsible attitude towards terminating people, and we have to give thought to health and safety rules, crowd control, first-aiders on-site for those who may faint as the body journeys downwards, and loos for those who may experience uncontrollable bowel movements or bladder irregularities, etc. In the UK we wouldn't just throw people off building tops willy-nilly. Things have to be properly planned, such as screens around where the body may land so as not to cause distress to the squeamish in such a way that they may seek a refund on their ticket cost, and more.

All in all, I think with a little work in consultation with our Muslim friends, and some very robust terms of reference in any proposed agreement between the parties, I reckon we could be on to a winner: or at the very least a starter for ten. I think that's pretty much it really. Oh, except for one more rather simple, but again somewhat sensitive issue that would go some way toward better relations.

First of all, a disproportionate amount of your brothers are under the impression that taking a boat ride from France to England will solve all their problems, only to end up in a camp somewhere while their status is verified. It would appear that a great many of your Islamic faith are being highly disrespectful to Allah, in as much as they are denying their faith by converting to Christianity under false pretences. Obviously, their commitment to Christianity would need to be tested in the same way as would a Christian to Islam if it were the other way around. So, the proposal is that rather like to television programmes 'Big Brother' and 'I'm a Celebrity' they are challenged by eating roast pork dinners, pork scratchings, ham salads and sandwiches, and a few pints of beer to wash it all down. 

If they can survive one week of this, and recite the Lord’s Prayer and a few Hail Marys, sing 'Abide with Me' and 'Jerusalem' then baptism and full conversion to Christianity will look very promising for them. If, on the other hand, they fail all of this, then with regret, they'll be put on the flight list to Rwanda and given a thousand-pound consolation prize. Seems fair to me, wouldn’t you agree?

If you're not subscribing you're definitely missing out. Go on, fix it now!

[mukelaniot]

Standing on the edge of being an OT. 

Just the other day we were ‘awkward pimple-faced teens’, fresh out of high school, struggling to access our emails and modules on Learn. When did we get here? Where did the time go? 

 I still remember those days like it was just yesterday. What an emotional roller-coaster this journey has been. From the first email stating that I was accepted to do OT, to having virtual orientation week and doing Anatomy TUTs and spotters online.  We definitely got here at a very awkward and complicated time. The COVID-19 pandemic definitely robbed us of a real authentic university. 

Redirect Notice. (2023) 

Redirect Notice. (2020)

For over a year and a half, we had online lectures, most of which we attended from the comfort of our own beds. Sounds fun right? Wrong!!! The transition from attending 9 hours of school, with the occasional evening classes, to not even having to leave bed to attend lectures was a terrible way to start our college experience. I know I speak for many of us when I say, that ruined us. We didn’t see it at the time but now that we are transitioning back to full contact classes, with the return of actual exams instead of continuous assessments, we feel it. We didn’t even get our chance to make friends at the beginning and now we’re just strangers just trying to get to 4th year and move on with life because we feel it’s too late to make friends at this point. 

This journey has definitely not been an easy one. But now we are here looking out to the horizon, standing on the edge of becoming an OT🤔? And I gotta say, this definitely feels anticlimactic. I mean, I should be excited, right😏? My classmates definitely are. Most of them are already discussing graduation attire, and some are already thinking about cars and checking out contract phones, meanwhile, I can't even think about where I want to do my comserve.….... I don't know why but I am not looking forward to any of this, and it is very disconcerting😥. 

I've been pondering this question for the better part of my life. Why? I mean, I’ve worked my butt off my entire life to get to this point. The countless sleepless nights, the blood, sweat, and tears. The hardships I've endured and the obstacles I have had to overcome. Not to mention the countless calls I made to my mother crying when things were not going my way. My family and I invested a lot of time, money, and effort to get me to this point. All this has made me understand why people cry at graduation ceremonies yet somehow, despite all this, I still don’t feel even a tiny bit excited. WHY? 

I have never been able to celebrate my achievements. Getting to this point after such a long journey is worth celebrating but I can't get excited about it. But maybe someday this will change, and I will finally give myself the grace I deserve and celebrate as I should. Until then, it's been one hell of a ride, and its not even over yet. To whatever that is yet to be thrown at us, I say bring it!

REFERENCES 

Redirect Notice. (2023). Google.com. https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fvc.ukzn.ac.za%2F&psig=AOvVaw1IUsb2z2z0nD__o1Ab_WCe&ust=1692437374102000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CA4QjRxqFwoTCIDPxtXy5YADFQAAAAAdAAAAABAq 

Redirect Notice. (2020). Google.com. https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fxaviernewswire.com%2F2020%2F08%2F24%2Fthe-good-and-the-bad-of-zoom-classes%2F&psig=AOvVaw3LYw68_aKupKXZs3Gx5BH_&ust=1692439794916000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CA4QjRxqFwoTCIDXitv75YADFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD 

[77-fxes]

The Chaos Funnel

The last act of Wakanda Forever is chaotic. It didn't really hit me until I kept hearing people question a lot of decisions in the third act, particularly the field of battle. I've seen a lot of reactors point out that meeting the Talokanils in the middle of the ocean definitely puts the Wakandans at a disadvantage. While this is true, I'd also argue that, particularly on short notice, it was the only real way to engage Namor in a fight that didn't include his entire army invading an already devastated Wakanda (but that's for another post).

But the more I thought about it, the more I began to see how the chaos of that battle, the risks taken, the assumptions made, the plans reversed, all have their origin in the emotional chaos that started with Shuri's visit to the Ancestral Plane.

Here she meets Killmonger where she initially expected to meet her mother or maybe her brother, or more honestly, she didn't expect to meet anyone. Taking the heart-shaped herb was never about having an emotional experience after all. As Shuri admitted, it was always about power, and even then, she couldn't really admit what she wanted the power for. In having to admit that she desired revenge, Shuri was also forced to confront the series of strong and often conflicting emotions that accompany grief. In her conversation with Killmonger, Shuri was forced to confront her own feelings of revenge, her difficult feelings about her father's hypocrisy, her mother's selfless sacrifice, and her brother's nobility, her cousin's selfishness. and her anger at how those qualities landed her and Wakanda in the place they're in now. She loved these people and grieves them, but also, has an understandable anger directed towards them.

'It's not supposed to be this way' you can almost hear her say. Shuri doesn't strike me as a person who enjoys having these emotions, someone who's self-concept of herself is that of a helper, a positive, selfless, understanding person who loves her family and country very much. The kind of person who would fight against tyrants like Thanos and save broken white boys who wind up on her operating table.

Grief robs us of such a one-dimensional and rosy self-concept. Grief often involves feelings of anger, of being robbed of a loved one, of both missing someone and hating them at the same time, among other feelings. In the Teen Vogue article on the portrayal of grief in the movie, the columnist Stitch praises the film's open and non-judgmental portrayal of a young black woman's anger in the midst of grief, writing “Seeing Black women allowed to be openly and rightfully angry is so refreshing to me. Shuri's rage and thirst for vengeance in the face of feeling helpless after her brother's death and the murder of her mother was beyond cathartic,” Nia Shumake also highlighted how grief changes your everyday life, highlighting the ways in which each of the four leads attempted to deal with the loss of T'Challa throughout the movie, highlighting Shuri's workaholic tendencies. In my own experience of grief, I've found that the chaos of grief is the most difficult thing to come to grips with. As a person who often prides himself on a high degree of emotional intelligence and a member of the helping profession, I don't like feeling out of control, and I suspect that Shuri--a scientist who values reason and practicality for the greater good--is similarly foxed by such emotions.

It's the chaos of grief that she has been avoiding in her lab, that she's been avoiding in any interaction with her brother's memory or any spiritual journey with it. And it is this emotional chaos that is unavoidable on the Ancestral Plane. Once it is unleashed, Shuri is completely unable to deal with it. From her emotional outburst after taking the herb to her lashing out a M'Baku and into the final battle, Shuri is angry, reckless, selfish, short-sighted, rash. And she should be all of those things! This is a person dealing with unimaginable and chaotic grief. One of my pet peeves with the way that superhero films are sometimes approached is that characters should have the same emotional distance that we do. And so it's easy to say, 'they should have gotten over it,' or 'someone should have made better decisions, or thought more clearly.'

Wakanda Forever eschews that by showing a risky, but not horrible plan formulated under difficult circumstances by what is essentially an absolute monarch. The plan is bad, but no one outside of M'Baku and Nakia would say so, and it's clear that Shuri isn't listening. Thus the chaos extends to the battle where excellent soldiers almost pull off a daring plan, but have no plan B and subsequently find themselves in trouble. A daughter in grief having trapped her quarry in a perfect trap but underestimated how strong that quarry still is. A combatant fighting a more experienced fighter and having to eventually remember her own sense of savvy and strategy to get the upper hand, and finally, the choice between what seems like an emotionally satisfying death strike or a more rational and practical mercy. In this moment, Shuri's understanding of the similarities between herself and Namor, Wakanda and Talokan, followed by a reminder that acting on this information amidst the emotional chaos is the most authentic and cathartic solution saves the day. In a sense, Shuri finds herself within the chaos of grief and acts as she really wants to. This doesn't mean that the chaos has ended, just that she's found some bearings within it.

And isn't that just how grief is? For me, the chaos was years of drinking and self-destruction after my father passed, and getting my bearings took the form of seeking sobriety. For others, it's months spent sitting on the couch in a depressive haze until something new comes along that drags you back out. Still for others, it's isolation, blame, anger at the world. The chaos can take a number of forms. But as Shuri learns in the movie, the chaos of grief can never be fully avoided.

[karthikadme]

10 Commandments of Leadership

This article adds to the original brief of 10 Commandments of Leadership”, Stainton (2015) with the view of providing insights to potential leaders on what to focus on, why to focus on certain aspects, and how to bring out the best in the team. 

1. Define the Destination- ‘The Goal’

Leaders should clearly define, communicate and remain consistent with the vision so that all stakeholders and the entire organisation remains aligned and move as a single unit towards that goal or vision.

2. Develop People

Focuses on how leaders can develop impactful teams who align the needs of the team members with the needs of the organisation.  

 3. Be ‘Accountable’

Expects a leader to be accountable for their own as well as the team's actions.

4. ‘Attribute all Successes to the Team’

Expects the leader never robs the team of the credit and stand behind them at times of their experiments going through tough times 

5. “You shall give immediate, specific praise”

The leader should design and implement the rewards and recognition program that supports immediate and specific praise to motivate, boost morale and give a sense of achievement. 

6. You shall not insist on being the smartest person in the room

Encourages the leaders to be inclusive in utilization of talents and skills necessary to achieve targets. 

7. You shall Listen

Shows how a leader can be a better listener. Listening helps the leader be more compassionate and team members feel heard and appreciated. Once you listen with greater focus half the problem is solved. 

8. The “What” and “How” of the goals

Requires a leader to empower the team to make decisions by creating a supportive climate where they can succeed. 

9. Don't criticize or berate in Public

Encourages the leader to create a conducive environment for evaluating failures without demoralizing the team.

10. Continue to Learn and Grow

Expects leaders to be lifelong learners so that they remain relevant at the top. Leadership and Learning are indispensable to each other 

Leadership is multifaceted and it takes time, experience and effort to become a successful leader. 

Are leaders born? Absolutely…All leaders are born but they become great leaders with the ability to influence by investing the time and effort into the process and gradually becoming great. According to John Maxwell, Leadership is all about Influence-nothing more, nothing less but it is complicated as it is multi-faceted. It encompasses

Vision

Momentum

Time

Respect

Experience

Emotional support

People skill

Discipline

Many of these factors are intangible and for this reason it takes time and experience to become a great leader. In the article, 10 Commandments of Leadership”, Stainton (2015) shares the ten qualities that a good leader should possess. This article adds to the original brief and the views of providing insights through leaders from four different domains (Leadership, Finance & Operations, Sales Management and Business Transformation) based on their practical experiences. This is aimed to help potential leaders on what to focus on, why to focus on certain aspects, and how to bring out the best in the team. 

10 Commandments of Leadership

1. Define the Destination-‘The Goal’

A leader with a well-articulated Vision is able to define the “goal”-the destination. Goals give a clear sense of direction to people who are part of the journey because “the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving” (Holmes, n.d).

Leaders can align the Goal and the team use the 3C Principle:-

Clarity

The outcome- What needs to be achieved?

The benefit of achieving the outcome?

 Conviction

Believe in the goals 

Display drive and passion in achieving the goal

Communication

Clearly communicate the goal to all stakeholders 

Consistently reinforce the message to remove ambiguity

Create a “psychological safety” zone for the team to express their ideas/fears/opinions so that obstacles in the path to the goal can be removed (Edmondson, 2018).

Once the goal is set and communicated, leaders need to display a consistent behavioural model towards that strategic vision/goal. This reinforces the message and drives the team to understand the importance of these goals to the organisation. For example, leaders may design their organisational goals along the lines of global growth metrics, improving operating margins, reducing attrition rate, innovation, improving supply chains just to name a few.

So commandment 1 requires the leader to clearly define, communicate and remain consistent with the vision so that all stakeholders and the entire organisation remains aligned and move as a single unit towards that goal or vision.

 2. Develop People

According to Jack Welch “Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.” Leaders must constantly work towards helping team members to identify and maximize their potential. This can be done by creating easy access to necessary tools and guidance so that the team members are in a conducive environment to succeed. 

A good leader motivates the team members by focusing on their strengths, recognizing their past successes, instils confidence when they fail and helps them to visualise their future success. In this respect, Maxwell (2015) says that “Every person has seeds of greatness within… but when you believe in them, you water the seeds and give them a chance to grow” (p. 250).

Additionally, a leader takes every opportunity to show the team members how they contribute in the overall growth of the organisation. When team members can visualise their growth aligning with the organisation's growth they remain motivated. 

Good leaders invest time in the orientation process so that new team members are aware of the history of the organisation, the work culture, products and services among other things. Furthermore, they jointly assess the growth and career paths, jointly agree on continuous professional development and training needs. Additionally, leaders improve their team members performance by investing in timely honest constructive feedback. At the same time they do not hold back on appreciating the good work to boost the morale of the team because appreciation gives people reason to keep going further.  

So, commandment 2 focuses on how leaders can develop impactful teams who align the needs of the team members with the needs of the organisation.  

 3. Be ‘Accountable’

Accountability means responsible behaviour and ownership. Accountable leaders take responsibility for the professional growth and success of the team they lead. Such leaders have a clear vision, standards to measure success and an understanding of the obstacles that may hinder the success of the team (Cantero-Gomez, 2019). Accountable leaders take responsibility for the actions of both, self as well as the team by showing the following characteristics.

Take full responsibility for the decisions made 

An accountable leader regularly reviews the decisions impacting the success. In the event of a failure, they do not look for a scapegoat to blame instead they stand with the team, apologise and take the blame on themselves. This demonstrates to the team that they can trust their leader even in their lows which further garners team support and willingness to take corrective measures in order to take the team to the next level.

Take responsibility for communication

Accountable leaders take it upon themselves to communicate to the teams their vision, strategy and implementations. However, when breakdown occurs, they analyse to get to the root cause of the issue, they blame the miscommunication on themselves and take corrective measures so that the same issues do not recur.

 Transform problems into learning lessons

Accountable leaders encourage their team members to evaluate and learn from their failures. 

So commandment 3 expects a leader to be accountable for their own as well as the team's actions.

  4. ‘Attribute all Successes to the Team’

Strong workplace relationship is key to the growth of any organization. Leaders can create a strong workplace relationship between team members by creating a collective identity, by manner of inclusion. One sure shot of creating inclusion and collective identity is by sharing all credits with the team even when it might largely be an individual contribution. For example, in an attempt to turn a failed project over, the leader might need to change the processes, improve documentation, restructure teams or implement better coordination between teams. All these were individual contributions by the leader to save the project. However, if the project succeeds, the leader can boost the morale of the team by attributing all success to the team in the following ways:

a) Appreciating each team member individually, and letting everybody in the organization know

b) Acknowledging and sharing how the team member contributed to the success of the project

c) Review the good practices adopted by the team

d) Reward the team 

So commandement 4 expects the leader to take the blame but never rob the team of the credit. 

5. “You shall give immediate, specific praise”

Spiritual Leader Mahatria says “While you feel that it is your right to point out the mistake, similarly you are obligated to appreciate every time you observe a good work as well.” Hence, Leaders should look for that specific good work done by the team member and appreciate it quickly. 

 Acknowledging and celebrating team members success and good work makes people feel valued and motivates them to work hard. Rewarding an employee for their good work does not always have to be monetary. Simple handwritten appreciation notes, verbal appreciation in front of the team or leadership team, email can do wonders. Recognition can start during daily team huddle meetings without waiting for marked monthly, quarterly and annual reviews to acknowledge good work. “On the Spot” recognition in front of peers can immediately enhance the motivation levels of team members. 

Generally motivated people show willingness to take responsibility. This helps them to professionally grow and helps the organization to grow the team with internal resources. One of the key roles of the leader is to keep the morale of the team high as it brings greater team synergy and team dynamics. It creates a high performing team which looks at “We” rather than “Me”. 

So commandment 5 expects the leader to design and implement the rewards and recognition program that supports immediate and specific praise to motivate, boost morale and give a sense of achievement. 

6. You shall not insist on being the smartest person in the room

As a leader, being vulnerable and being able to admit in front of the team that you may not have all the answers is more critical than showing off that you know it all. Vulnerable leaders who are open to ideas and suggestions are considered more approachable and authentic by their teams. Whereas, leaders who are unwilling to listen and accept others’ expertise, knowledge and ideas and shut off criticism are more likely to fail.

A team where the leader creates a conducive environment to pool all resources in terms of different talents, skills, voices tends to be more successful. With technological advancements and unprecedented levels of change, leaders need to drive innovation and growth. For this, it becomes imperative to hire talented people who ace in their niche, whereby leaders surround themselves with smarter people in the room who may have answers to questions which they may not have. This is the key difference between a successful and unsuccessful leader who has the wisdom to team up with people and resources which ultimately align to the growth of the organisation. 

 Furthermore, Leaders who delegate tasks create opportunities of growth for their employees. Whereas, leaders who micromanage, are not only considered control-freaks but also stress-triggers for the team. This could result in people feeling unappreciated resulting in talented brain-drain from the organisation because of the leader who knows it all.  

The 6 commandment of leadership encourages the leaders to be inclusive in utilization of talents and skills necessary to achieve targets. 

7. You shall Listen

Leaders who embrace the art of listening are considered as compassionate leaders (Llopis, 2013). Although, listening is not part of any job description of a leader, it gives the leader the edge to lead the team. 

What is listening? Is it only giving undivided attention to a person or a team? No, listening is more than that. It includes 

·   Understanding verbal cues

· Recognizing non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, mood, voice, behaviour patterns and more. 

A leader who wants to engage with their team, understand their performance slumps needs to be ready to commit time to listen. Hence, Leaders who develop the habit of listening are able to-

-Build stronger, deeper relationships with their team members

-Open lines of communication by showing respect and interest in the team member

-Increase their own knowledge

-Generate new ideas

-Build loyalty (Maxwell, 2015)

Furthermore, a leader seeking real answers should go into a meeting with lots of questions giving the opportunity to hear others rather than their own voice. At the same time, leaders should engage in meaningful conversations free of distractions in order to avoid sending the wrong message that the speaker and their message is unimportant. So workplace best practices could include attending meetings gadget-free to improve two-way communication, high productivity and time-efficiency. 

So commandment 7 shows how a leader can be a better listener. Listening helps the leader be more compassionate and team members feel heard and appreciated. Once you listen with greater focus half the problem is solved. 

8. The “What” and “How” of the goals

Leaders define the vision/goal to be achieved and communicate it clearly to the team. Leaders who involve team members in the decision-making process are considered more democratic leaders, who foster qualities of trust and ownership in their teams.

According to a study conducted by Dr. Natalia Lorinkova at Wayne State University, teams led by directive leaders may initially do well under the direct control and command of the leader. However, it was observed that over a period of time, teams led by empowered leaders outperformed those led by directive leaders. Empowered teams showed high levels of team learning, coordination, empowerment and mental model development.

 Empowering people lies in the concept of creating “psychological safety” in the workplace in order to foster learning, innovation and growth (Edmondson, 2018). “Psychological safety” is defined “as a climate in which people are comfortable expressing and being themselves’ (Edmondson, 2018, xvi). So teams led by empowered leaders feel empowered in the ‘psychological safety’ net to add value to the team in achieving the goal set by the leader. Such team members do not fear sharing ideas as they are not hindered by interpersonal fears. Hence, by removing the command and control, the leader encourages ideas and solutions from even the silent quarters of the team resulting in improved performance of teams. 

Commandment 8 requires the leader to empower the team to make decisions by creating a supportive climate where they can succeed. 

9. Don't criticize or berate in Public

Every day, a Leader is faced with trying situations where tough decisions on non-performance, delays, failures etc lead to disagreements. Having a difference of opinion is perfectly fine as it shows the passion, involvement and belief among the team to succeed. However, when leaders do not create a conducive ‘psychologically safe’ environment where conflict and disagreement happen, then it can create stress, anxiety and team morale dissipating. 

 Real learning happens when the individuals or teams make mistakes. So it becomes imperative not to miss the opportunity to learn from the mistakes. However, evaluation done in a safe climate ensures team members reflect on their same mistakes in a non-confrontational environment. 

This can be done through 1:1 discussions behind closed doors. A good leader knows how to separate the person from the performance. This encourages the team members to be more receptive to accepting their mistakes, failures and expressing their learnings from the experience without feeling humiliated, embarrassed and cornered. 

So commandment 9 encourages the leader to create a conducive environment for evaluating failures without demoralizing the team.

10. Continue to Learn and Grow

Successful leaders are lifelong learners (Maxwell, 2015). Being successful does not mean reaching the top, real success is sustaining it there. Leaders understand the prerequisites of running an organisation and making key strategic and financial decisions. But successful leaders understand that change is constant and being able to adapt is key to success. So leaders who respond using multiple types of intelligences such as IQ, EQ depending on the circumstance remain relevant. 

 Successful leaders learn for the sake of learning on a daily basis in conventional or unconventional ways by matching their personal learning styles and appetite. They learn by reading, attending conferences, courses, seminars to acquire new knowledge, strategies and skills. But practical learning happens when leaders engage in transformational conversation with people who have dealt with similar problems in the real world. With the new knowledge, they resolve problems in their own organisations. In addition, they unlearn things which are no longer relevant in serving them. 

 So commandment 10 expects leaders to be lifelong learners so that they remain relevant at the top. Leadership and Learning are indispensable to each other (John F Kennedy).

In conclusion, Leadership is multifaceted and it takes time, experience and effort to become a successful leader. Leadership is all about influence. So leaders need to define their goals clearly to align their teams, invest time and effort into the development of their followers because only when people feel they are valued will they follow you as it always comes back to the question “what is in for me?”. Leaders need to be accountable for themselves and the people they lead, be ready to credit success to the team while taking upon oneself all the blame. They also understand the value of diverse talented people on their teams by listening to their ideas and solutions which would give way to innovation and growth. Additionally, leaders should encourage empowering their teams by creating “psychological safety” at the workplace so that growth takes place even in crisis. So leadership is a journey of personal growth while empowering others to grow with you.

[renatedagmarmilada]

grey viz print...roll down

sometimes it is necessary not to say things too openly,

yet not to keep them secret.

.punishment

for giving away the secrets of the powerful is constant

and never subsides..

.They tested remote stuff,

tried and dusted over there.

.but small amounts on many..

Here they use large amounts on a few,

though already tried and dusted

by the States,

for their own purposes.

It is the future of war weaponry.

The War Lords have given permission.

I have to go they say-

because I put it into my poetry.

Renate Fekete

Milada…17.3.07

      Averell viz Reuben

> 

> to us from our stampede West

> to where all things and safety lay

> America meant merely A viz R

> 

> we knew both well from home

> we knew and believed truthful Averell

> but his own people doubted him

> 

> we also knew Reuben's ways well

> his showmanship his charm to sway

> ere since on his journeying he began

> 

> battling in an unseen mist

> averell and reuben as we preached

> the winner clear in a smudge to teach

> 

> we sighed

> same methods

> we all knew so well

> 

> maybe we'd better stay where we are

> look behind over our shoulders

> check our backs

> 

> and where was home?

> 

An ode for Colin, Art Lecturer RIP

> 

> We continue to use her poetry

> intime it will blot out everything and pretty

> 

> its for the Ausgust issue

> its one of hers I tissued

> 

> I sent your stuff to the BBC and others

> and even used your very own venues

> 

> I work at the lab, skinny Liz

> took along with friends of the lab and Chris

> 

> and one or two are famous asked their help

> just to ensure you shut up and never yelp

> 

> it is New York lab now robbing and topping

> beamed from england to their lab computer

> 

> here bravery and decency dont count

> we don't mind losing artists and wont count

> 

> and over there anything is fair game

> as long as it has personal gain....

    Red Herrings and their  ''fairer society''

> 

> We are building a fairer society I quote

> led by the worst criminals

> even our east europeans

> have ever known

> with their wide experience of criminals

> as St Guys watches Hommerton and them

> 

> or maybe we hadn't read the country

> correctly before

> has she shamed herself in your country

> now there's another experience

> the lab whispers in microsound

> We are not talking St Guy's whispers

> is everyone frightened on this island?

> 

> atrocity after atrocity, include injustices

> sorry I made every person you met

> into a lover

> and asked them to study it as real

> you can never answer back

> nor can you stop the punishment

> they hand out

> 

> one student adds

> it is the worst penitentiary ever

> with absolutely no human rights

> the lab tells him

> it is not

> it is an experiment with no bounds

> and no boundaries

> anything goes now

> 

> this is Britain's Auschwitz they repeat

> this country is too small for camps

> every church, every shop, every school

> is your Camp 5

> we begin punishment when ever we wish

> plus the all nighters since November 03.

> why?

> why we messed up

> and Britian is never guilty

> especially when it is britains....

> 

> well death is death,

> who ever metes out the death..

Ø  robbery is robbery

Ø   

Ø  DIVORCE

> 

> the wedding was my parent's style

> motivated by what will the neighbours say

> not mine though our love showed through

> 

> quarter of a century later

> a psycho-man persuaded him to freedom

> meant shaking off all responsibility

> 

> only just moved to a new city

> a small town girl and the kids

> couldn't believe he wouldn't come back

> 

> as he always had from south Africa

> from Austria from all his job

> it was CHristmas and we didn't know how

> 

> first I drank a bottle of whisky though teetotal

> then life had to go on

> all proceedings have to go through a system

> 

> I don't remember the day or the time

> I know I sat on a bench somewhere

> and people were very kind and nice there

> 

> a Judge with a soft face and voice said something

> I don't remember what but it was gentle

> solicitor's young man arm around my shoulder

> 

> he wasn't there so you can have the kids

> but I'm still not sure what happened

> and asked for a long time

   >another seven and intimidation

> 

> more students in the lab

> doing the same file of constant lies

> spun around and around

> once they say..use your imagination

> (not what you think boys)

> over the tv voice

> the same old made up work

> by the members of the lab

> 

> a book sent to a friend

> sensitive because it tells what they do

> a student gets a first

> he has robbed it

> they have a special letter to get the post

> we just call it fining any crime

> 

> why?

> twenty years ago they split a happy family

> twenty years ago they watched us on screen

> day and night night and day

> every little action

> and certain parts sent everywhere looped

> seen by everyone

> 

> all in the bedroom and the lounge

> adults nothing wrong

> twenty years of life

> common law husband

> the student got a first

> destroy all relationships

> 

> then at the last the torture began

> squeezing arteries why?

> the effect is the same as a severe drug addict

> and pounding the heart like a smoker

> all things never experienced by this little healthy guy

> 

> please see she is dead within this decade

> and I want a heart attack shortly

> 

> last night was hell

> even for the brave and careful

> my skull hurt from the pressure

> and my spine trembled

> 

> of course intimidation

> I'd gone to see a solicitor

> a visit to a solicitor always brings such reaction

> on line torture in Britain

> 

> such a clever solicitor too

> asked you and who

> nay good Sir I aint telling

> you find out yourself...

> 

> looks like London and Europe

> this is no small matter

> though dear madam

> you try to minimalise.

> 

> why and where, what and who

> 

> 

   > why and where, what and who?

 THE QUEEN

> 

> Fay,do copy this now it is my pet project

> Jacki has taken half their carefully saved funds

> their sophisticated machinery

> over ten thousand pounds out of accounts

> lone mum and mother

> year by year year after year

> Jackie was strapped for cash

> and drinks heavily as he works for the lab

> the lab earn huge wages from taxes

> and take from the accounts at will

> it is a victim they say

> using it so as to distance their crimes

> 

> so you are still hammering her and them

> we can't let it get out

> the Queen is in it

> 

> I don't believe it

> they lied to the Queen

> 

> but the Queen can easily find out

> she has she said so

> the Queen said

> victim sue..and sue ..and sue

> do they think we can't check

> Charles too told twice but we can say nought

> wither way but we know the truth

> and you never say

> 

> Sir, we were brought up in a different way

> we sat silent and watched

> and were rewarded for our loyalty

> by a golden piece by our royals

> the only time we shouted

> the Nazis are coming

> no one listened

> 

> and again no one is listening

> the lawyers say what is criminal elsewhere

> is not criminal here and those know it

> and the public must not know the truth

> or that the Queen is in it..

> though the Queen knows full well

> 

> and more poetry books bite the dust

> I consider my real feelings for once

> but I went to school with them

> I married them, laughed with them

> cried with them, played with them

> was ill in hospitals with them

> gae birth with them

> was even divorced with them

> no not the jews here the english..

> 

> there was once a famous english writer

> who went to Holland to escape

> island corruption!

> 

> so this is the great democratic island

> we had put on a pedestal...

> 

> Renate Fekete

> 66 Lloyd Street

 > whether it is a lab or not.

> 

  Steve says

> 

> steve says they can't say we used Stanis

> cause Stanis helped us to use Stanis..

> 

> steve says Maxwell was in it and Murdoch too

> it was their choice both they chose you did not

> 

> steve says divorce, death or 'what if..?'

> stanis say you forfeit your post as well as life

> 

> steve says she had an advantage

> healthy, talented we are ordinarying her

> 

> steve says can you put a hole in her heart

> she was brilliant then but then became ' ill'

> 

> steve says yes she is still copying eveything

> the spin doctors are disturbed by the pencil

> 

> steve says the girls can do them by the imprint after

> students say we don't want to come back to the lab

> 

> steve says the Minister was in the lab by invite

> it was amusement watching peoples private lives

>.....> steve says that's why we put

they were seen

> but added all the rest for afters

[mrsmojorizen]

Do I have to tell you something I'm not happy about there's something wrong was Xerxes I don't like the I am kind okay I'm a Spartan and I think that there's some major skulduggery going on in Persia with the Persians you guys are going to be pissed at me cuz I don't do this normally cuz I don't I don't categorize people in a particular way cuz I don't believe in cutting people's dicks off Dick's off yeah cuz everybody has a right to their own experience man and I don't want to rob somebody of their experience bye labeling them and putting them into you know a judgement thing but I got to start digging deep because I have to understand the whole Christian thing and I have to understand the whole double thing St Lucia's yeah I have to understand that now it's imperative to my learning stop shutting off it's imperative to my spiritual journey and I have to tell you people are fucked in 3 days I went to the FBI I saw a man get beaten with a metal rod I mean front of God and everybody right on fucking Venice Boulevard I seen a man get shot at it's so not good out here whatever you do don't become homeless and the FBI doesn't give a shit if they don't give a shit that I walked up there and I said look it you guys you feds think that I'm not me so you're not giving me my income tax return because I'm not me so here I am with my 10 little fingers so that you can tell the IRS I am who I am and give me my check so that I can get the fuck up out of here and go to La La Land and write my fucking screenplay and help veterans and people with PTSD with my movie mgma MDMA for PTSD