#don't tell people what they can and cannot do as long as they aren't hurting anyone

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

chapter 1 : the loser in the seat next to you.

no quirk au, mentions of fighting and violence, the yakuza and my very little knowledge of it, privates schools..i have no experience w them, gang violence, found family trope my love, crime syndicate boss daughter! reader, badboy bodyguard! katsuki x fem reader, sunshine reader, reader cries and is shy around new ppl, hurt/BIG comfort, CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LUVERS TROPE MY STAR, almost polar opposites, jealous katsuki, reader has a last name but it will be explained later, original characters, izuku catches many strays i promise i lub him yall, touchy katsu touchy reader, slight romantic tension ouuuu, mentions of food n cooking, lemme know if i missed sum (might add more in future chapters !)

a/n : BIG 4K CHAPTER RAGHHH TYSM!!

katsuki cannot remember a single time prior to living with you that anybody had taken care of him.

he thinks his parents might’ve. he doesn’t care to remember them and it’s not like he could, he was a baby when they’d dropped him off in the shithole he called home for eleven years, but at the very least they’d tried to drop him off somewhere where he could’ve had another chance. where he could’ve been taken in by different people and were his circumstances different he could’ve ended up being someone else’s son with someone else’s last name.

but he’s not. and that’s the most care he’s been shown.

his caretakers, and he uses the term loosely, seemed to think that as long as he stayed alive, that as long as he had food is his belly and water to drink he was taken care of enough. and to be fair, katsuki thought that was enough for him too, cus he didn’t know anything else.

alliances and groups were always formed with ulterior motives in mind. associate yourself with someone stronger than you so you could stay on their good side, get in the stronger people’s good graces and rat out the ones lagging behind so you wouldn’t be left alone. they were always for protection but never a mutual one.

and that’s why he didn’t like being in groups, the thought of not knowing what all these other people who claim to be on your side truly think about you made katsuki nervous. trust was for losers like tadashi, some moron who always talked big shit just because he was apart of some well known group in town. only for him to get a tooth knocked out by one of his squad mates and ever since that day no one ever heard him speak again and everyone called him no tooth tadashi.

trust was for idiots, and katsuki was far from one. so he pushed people away, he kicked and stomped and broke people who thought they could use him for their own protection. because if there’s one thing he hates it's when people use him.

trust was for morons and protection was for weaklings, he didn’t need anyone to take care of him. he didn’t even know how to, but if this was it he didn’t want any part of it.

it’s about 9 am and you’re still in bed. katsuki thanks his lucky star because he’s sure if you ever caught him watching mr. nakazawa cook he’d never hear the end of it. and then he’d have to stop watching because you’d insist he wake you up at the same time as him.

he doesn’t know what’s being made but from the smell alone he can tell it’ll be delicious. he can’t see too well what’s happening, only being able to see and hear some rhythmic cutting and the sizzling of a pan.

“you could come over here if you wanna get a closer look,” katsuki jumps at the man’s voice, his eyes widen but he tentatively steps inside of the kitchen.

“how’d you know i was here ?” he asks quietly, the white haired man smiles knowingly, his eyes not leaving the pan in front of him.

"i've got really sharp senses on me." his hands aren't stopping in their motions, katsuki wonders how skilled you have to be to make two different motions with your hands, he can't do it.

"they're important when you're cooking, you gotta know which spices to use, make sure ya don't burn anythin'.." katsuki listens intently as the chef talks, eyes drifting towards the pan. karage pops and crackles, two omurices lay sizzling on another pan. one for you and one for him and katsuki feels his chest tingle, he still needs to remind himself the feeling isn't a bad one despite the burn he feels.

there are some fruits for dessert sitting on the side still uncut, katsuki recognizes your favourite sitting amongst them. "if you want, you could help me out. i'm kinda in need of a hand since 'im being overworked by the big boss." mr. nakazawa's voice cuts through katsuki's train of thought, he sighs like he's exhausted but there's a slight smile on his face.

katsuki looks towards the hallway before looking back at the older male "mr. matsumoto already left, though ?"

"it's miss yn i'm talkin' about, the kid can be a real handful. you wouldn't believe how much food she has me make !" he jests, and katsuki snorts to himself when he comments about how your stomach was a black hole, he agrees.

"so," the cook nudges katsuki slightly "wanna help me out ?"

and usually, katsuki doesn't help anybody, and if he somehow does it's not unless he can get something from it. so he doesn't understand why he nods so eagerly. he hates when people order him around, he never listens to what anyone has to say yet he carries you on his back when you ask and he listens immediately when mr. nakazawa asks him to go wash his hands first. he follows his instructions on how to cut the fruit properly and his end up looking a bit wonky, but mr. nakazawa tells him it's a start and he'll do better next time. next time..

katsuki's never had anybody take care of him, but his chest tightens and he thinks this might be it.

you wake up a little bit later, rubbing sleepily at your eyes only for them to bulge when you see him and mr. nakazawa in the kitchen. said man claps katsuki's back and proudly exclaims to you that katsuki had cut up the fruit you were eating. your favourite ones. katsuki feels his ears burn and he looks away, he doesn't understand why the older man is so happy and boasting about something he himself didn't do. he doesn't understand why you don't comment on how wonky your fruits looked compared to the one's the chef had chopped. instead you ask him if it's true, if he'd really cut these for you. so he nods because katsuki hates lying, cheeks and ears burning. you beam and continue eating, thanking him and mr. nakazawa for all their hard work as you happily munch away.

katsuki finally sits down next to you getting his own portion of food. he didn't get to help out much today, but he's determined to wake up earlier tomorrow so he can cook even more and cut up even more fruits for you. so he can learn to make them less wonky and have mr. nakazawa teach him more so you can enjoy more and more of the food he's made.

katsuki's never taken care of anyone because nobody ever cared for him. but he thinks that this might be it.

the first day katsuki ever goes to school, he decides he already hates it with a passion.

school itself isn't really hard. sure, it's his first day, but it's super easy. and most of the teachers are nice to him, even though he doesn't need them to be since he's had way worse. he just doesn't like the looks he gets. there's too many people in one class, all looking at him because he's new. he feels like some kind of zoo animal.

they're probably looking at him because of the stink eye he has and the glares he shoots at his new classmates. you'd told him once that some people might be scared of him because of his looks--and that was completely fine with him. he'd much rather stay in his comfort zone. he doesn't want people to look at him curiously, he wants the only reason people look at him to be out of weariness of him, like if they were to look away for even a second he'd pounce on them. he likes that.

you're the complete opposite though. katsuki thinks it's weird that you do such a big 180 when you see new people. your dad had told him that this would be both your first days since you'd been homeschooled until then. you cling to him the entire day and he doesn't mind it 'cus you always do, but you're quiet. you aren't chatty and bratty like you always are. you sit next to him quietly during breaks and at one point you don't come back from the bathroom and katsuki, who had been waiting for you ( he can't just run off, he is your bodyguard after all) gets tired of waiting and makes his way over to the girls bathroom, getting some strange looks but he doesn't care. only to stop dead in his tracks when he hears sniffling.

you're crying.

katsuki doesn't take care of people, he doesn't help people. because he's never been taken care of. or because he doesn't need it or maybe because he just doesn't know how to. but he knocks at your stall door, the door rattles with how hard he knocks at it while your whimpers make his skin itch. he tells you he'll beat up the person who did this no matter who they are and to hurry up and come out 'cus he's here.

you tell him that everyone keeps looking at you weirdly, that they whisper about you and that it makes you nervous and that you don't like it, that you want to go home. and katsuki who has no idea how to take care of people, who will probably get in trouble if someone were to see him in here but could care less because you're still crying and that irritates him, tells you that you just needed to point someone out, and he'd do it.

"i don't care if it's everyone in school, even if it's the fuckin' principal, i'll beat up everyone who looked at you weird, okay ?" he urges. so he tells you to stop crying and that he'd take you home. you ask him why, why he'd get himself in trouble for you. even though you joked the night before that if he kept looking nasty he wouldn't be able to make any friends and he'd told you to shut up.

he tells you it's because he's your bodyguard, and katsuki wonders if this is taking care of somebody too.

so yeah, school's super easy. and the teachers aren't bad, but it made you cry, and katsuki decides he hates it with a passion.

when you get to senior year, you're not sitting next to katsuki anymore.

it's been a crazy couple of years since then, and you've gotten better at interacting with people. you've made some acquaintances, but you still cling to katsuki the most. you don't have him carry you on his back (as much) anymore but you've still kept some of your older routines. katsuki's gotten better at cutting up your fruits and cooking in general, so much so that you insist on him cooking your lunch everyday. katsuki tells you not to be stupid, that you should learn to cook on your own. but he helps you like mr. nakazawa once did for him, sure not as gently but considering his line of work he doesn't need to be. and you're learning so that's a win.

he's come a long way from weekly training sessions with your dad and your other uncles. he still isn't allowed to go out on missions that involve killing, that's one thing he is strictly forbidden from asking for. but he gets to go along with other squad member on what your uncle takashi called a règlement de compte. basically, a bunch of dumb french words to say he finds people that fucked with members of his squad or their turf—and fucks them up good.

this is what he's good at, what he's good with. he's good when there's no talking involved. when it's just flying fists and the familiar sting of his knuckles and the adrenaline pumping through him. he hates it when people underestimate him, especially because they're older than him. but he thrives off the looks of fear they give him when he ends up rocking their shit. he's undefeated and the most feared member of his squad and he feels like he's a little kid again. when whispers of him would circle and even just a glance at him made people backtrack in fear. some even called him matsumoto's mad dog, and it's something he's insanely proud of.

and of course, he's still your bodyguard.

but in school he's none of that. he's just katsuki bakugou. a boy some teachers call a delinquent who looks kinda scary. and the boy who never starts fights, but always finishes them.

and then there's you, who hangs out with him everyday. you who calls him katsu or suki and other cheesy stupid nicknames. who pulls his cheeks up to get him to smile more and look him straight in the eyes and tells him he'll get wrinkles by next year if he keeps looking nasty.

you're a sweet little thing. you help your classmates and you get along with them easily. you do good in the subjects you like and manage in the ones you don't as long as katsuki tutors you. you're funny, and you're easy to get along with and your smile absolutely lights up the room (you didn't hear that last part from him though).

on the surface, your father owns a pretty successful business. which landed you both into a private school. katsuki hates how he has to wear the same annoying uniform every day and he'd ditched his jacket not too long after getting it. you'd enjoyed it at first, but you quickly got tired of it too, although you still keep your jacket and added some cute socks to add your own personal touch to it.

from elementary, middle and high school you've always consistently sat right next to katsuki in class. he never admitted it but he really liked that. not only because you were the only person he liked tolerated at school, but also because he could pick on you and poke you with his pencil. you could whisper dumb jokes to each other and he could easily pass you crudely drawn notes of the teachers you disliked. he remembers one time you'd gotten in trouble and had to clean up the classroom as punishment after class. but you got in trouble together and you ended up messing up the classroom even worse than it was before, but you'd had a blast and you walked out of school right next to him.

but this year, you're not sitting next to him anymore. you're sitting next to some new kid.

he reminds him of one of the golden boys at his old orphanage so much that katsuki wonders if he'd ever seen him before. izuku midoriya looks like if the teacher spoke any louder while introducing him he'd piss his pants. katsuki fights the urge to scoff.

he looks unbearably plain. boring, uninteresting and every other adjective. the green haired boy looks like he'd get bullied by the janitor. like he'd fall onto the floor and apologise to the floor for being in its way.

basically, he looked like a loser.

and he's the one who sits next to you.

katsuki's been moved to a row behind and across from you, next to somebody he can't be bothered to remember the name of. on the very first day nothing happens, he watches you greet the freckled boy politely and he squeaks out something to make you laugh, it's probably stupid.

the next day, midoriya forgets his literature book, so you share yours with him. katsuki would've just told him it was too damn bad but you're not like him. your shoulders brush when you sit closer to him so you can both look. you flash him a smile and the boy flushes all the way to his ears, so stupid.

throughout the week you keep talking with midoriya. katsuki doesn't understand what's so special about a seemingly boring guy, when you've literally got a bodyguard. (it's not like the others know, but still). you keep touching him, too. you always let him borrow the notebooks he forgets and you even fixed his tie once. katsuki doesn't wear his tie, he'd stopped wearing it back in his freshman year, but he wishes you'd fix his too. it's childish and it's stupid.

on the way home, you mention how nice izuku is. he's forgotten that was the loser's name and something ugly flares up inside him when you say his name like that, all sweet and stupid and mushy. the tone you use when you want him to make you pancakes because he does them so well. he acts like he doesn't care.

katsuki doesn't sit next to you anymore, but at home it's just you and him. and when it's just you and him you have your weekly movie nights on weekends, a tradition for years now that katsuki has stopped pretending to be upset about. you and him, sharing popcorn and your finger brushing and you sleeping against his shoulder when you get tired. when you fall asleep and katsuki watches your lashes as you dream, it's just you and him.

a few weeks later, you stay behind after school. apparently izuku needs some help with maths. and you're sweet and different from katsuki who would've told him it was his loss, so you'll be home a bit later. katsuki can't control the muscles in his face in time because he makes a face, but he shrugs and turns away. (not before watching you happily skip off with the freckled loser, who mirrors your expression. he watches your lips move, and he wonders what you're talking about.)

katsuki thinks it's stupid. why does he have to listen to you ? he's your bodyguard, he's supposed to stay and keep you safe. but that smile on your face while you talk to the other guy, that would be too much for him.it irritates him to think about it. so he grips his bag tighter, clenches his teeth and walks back alone.

he can't ask you how it went when you get home because he has another score to settle with some no name gang. it irritates him, but he thinks he can blow some steam by punching someone's face in. he doesn't want to admit that he thinks about that freckled fucking loser when his fist makes contact with the bastard he had to find. because that's stupid, and katsuki is far from that.

he'd been more careless than usual tonight, so when he comes back you see the small cut on his nose. you're whining about how he should be more careful despite knowing what line of work he's been put in. it's irritating but katsuki doesn't want to admit that it doesn't bother him as much today. he wants to ask you how your little study date went, but he can't fix his lips to, he hates the way that sounds. and you're already dragging him off to your room where your medkit is. katsuki wants you to smile at him.

katsuki sits down onto your bed, your soft sheets make contact with his skin, he tries his best not to dirty them. your rooms changed some throughout the years, your interests changing along with you.

the first time you'd tried to patch katsuki up was when he was 14 and he'd gotten into a fight. he can't remember what for, but he does remember how you cried. he didn't understand why you did at the time, especially since you were angry at him too, so it confused him even more. you tussled a bit when katsuki refused you but a bandaid on him, saying he could do it by himself. then you'd screamed at him, your voice cracking and breaking, eyebrows furrowed. he can't remember what you'd said fully, too shocked by your expression. wether it was that he was too stubborn for his own good or that he could get an infection. he sat still after your babbling and you both sit quietly. you finally press the bandaid to his face and while you cleaned up his knuckles, you whispered.

"i really don't like it when you get hurt."

you know he's your bodyguard, that sometimes he just has to get hurt. 'cus he's apart of your dad's clan and they get hurt too. they got him out of the nightmare he lived in and it wouldn't be fair that he didn't get hurt as well. your bandages are a little loose because you'd never done this before, but katsuki doesn't say anything. after you'd finished he mumbled "i won't let anyone get a hit on me anymore."

i'll be more careful, i won't worry you anymore. i won't get hurt, so don't be sad.

you're eyes shine and you hug him tightly. his bandages are coming loose already, but he'll fix them later. he won't tell you, because you want to take care of him. he doesn't need it or want it. but his knuckles feel better and his chest feels warm, in the good way. he feels his arms wrap around you. you feel warm just like him, and he thinks this is it.

katsuki snaps out of his thought when your bed dips and he sees you. your eyebrows are pinched in worry.

"what happened ?" you're not looking at him, already cutting up some bandages.

"wasn't paying attention, bastard got a hit on me. won't happen again." he scoffs, you huff a light laugh. looking up at him mischievously. "thought you said nobody would get a hit on you anymore ?" you giggle, just the sound of it has his ears burning.

"shut up, told you it won't happen again." he scoffs, pushing at your arm. you shake your head affectionately, gesturing for his hand and he gives it to you (reluctantly). your skin feels softer than the sheets, katsuki has to keep his heart in check. "anything else hurt ?" you ask, katsuki grunts and you eye him.

"katsuki—"

"no. nothing hurts, m'good. drop it." it comes out rougher than he means, than he means with you. but you simply roll your eyes, already used to his moods. "if you're worried about me, you shoulda seen him." he huffs proudly. "i don't think i want to see that." you snort, katsuki rolls his eyes.

he wants to see you smile like you did before. what could that other guy have said that made you laugh so hard ? that makes you touch him and fix his tie and makes you stay behind at school with him ?

katsuki wonders if you have a crush on the loser in the seat next to you. he's your bodyguard, yet the ugly little feelings rears its head again and he can't help himself.

"how'd your date go ?"

fucking shit.

you blink, then snort "what date ? i was helping izuku out with math, i told you that." the bandaid around his knuckles tightens "don't say stupid stuff."

his chest feels just a bit lighter, but he still hasn't gotten to his goal just yet. "better be careful, next time he'll ask you for help fixing his diaper. fuckin' crybaby." katsuki barks a laugh when you slap his shoulder, holding back a smile of your own. he lifts your head up with his unoccupied hand. you grab at it to push him away "m'not done yet, stop it !" you squeal.

"no worries, i won't tell anyone," he smirks, you poke at his cheek with a smile "it's just us, princess. promise i won't ruin your image." he still calls you that princess nickname, because you're snobby, bratty and spoiled, but it's a bit more affectionate in the roughness of his voice that only you catch on to. you try not to look too affected by it with an eye roll. your hand flies away from his face when he snaps at your fingers.

"you're such an asshat." you huff, the smirk on his face makes your heart thump. "swear." he teases, you push at his arm with a chuckle.

you like hanging out with izuku, at first because he was fun to mess with and he looked cute when he got all blushy. but he actually is really interesting to talk to and he's funny when he isn't in his own head. he reminded you a little of yourself on your very first day of school. it's something you don't want to remember but he seemed so lost. you're glad you got to sit next to him.

but you do miss sitting next to katsuki.

"it's weird not sitting next to you anymore.." you're done bandaging his hands and start tackling his nose. before katsuki can respond you utter a quick "this'll hurt a bit," and press a cotton wad to his nose. he hisses at the sting and you apologise but he waves you off with a grunt.

katsuki can't stop looking at your little frown and sad little puppy dog eyes. and he can't help but want to tease you.

"yeah ? you miss me ?" your insulted expression is everything and he can't help but snicker, until you press the little wad harder against his nose. "fuck !" he hisses. he grips at your hand, pushing the cotton wad towards your face. he manages to nudge it against your cheek and you shake your head, you squirm around and he manages to land on top of you. you both don't realise, katsuki too focused on trying to get back at you.

he catches you off guard when he manages to grab your wrist, throwing them against your bed. and then you realise how close he is to you when his breath fans across your face.

"what're you mad at me for ? don't get embarrassed 'bout the truth," his laboured breaths is all your ears pick up on. you feel hot where his hands grip yours. they're a little moist, he's always been a bit sweaty around his hands but just maybe it has something to do with how if he were to lean in just a bit more your noses would touch. katsuki forgets he's your bodyguard and does so. you gasp at the contact, both your breathing gets harder.

"you fuckin' miss me," he breathes. you scowl up at him, lips slowly forming into a pout.

fuck, you look cute. and fuck, he wants to kiss you.

katsuki thinks maybe you don't have to smile at him. as long as you're looking at him, even just like this, that's more than okay for him.

"dick," you spit, you continue when you look towards your wall "what if i do ? you're my best friend."

no, he isn't. he's your bodyguard. it's the job he'd been entrusted by your father, it's why he's been agreeing to your every bratty whim for years now, 'cus it's his job and your dad trusts him and he owes the man his life. it's why he lets you take care of him and watch movies with him and sleep on him when you're tired.

but his chest feels warm, and his grip on your wrist tightens.

"you're such a baby," it's mean, but his eyes soften and his lip grazes your forehead. it's not even a kiss, barely a touch of his lips against the crown of your head. but your eyes are soft and he's sure his are too. he lets go of your wrists and presses his forehead to yours "m'still here y'know ? even if it's not next to you every class. don't go writin' me off."

you giggle, and you place your hand against his cheek. katsuki doesn't need to be taken care of and he's your bodyguard but he leans into your warmth lightly. your other hand reaches for the cotton wad that luckily landed next to your head during your little scuffle. you wipe his nose just like that. it's quiet and he doesn't rip his gaze away from yours, his eyes look gooey and melty like caramel. they're soft and warm and firey and so handsome. you finish by pressing a little bandaid to his nose and as thank you for taking care of him katsuki smooshes his nose to yours to make you laugh.

and you smile, in a way he knows the loser in the seat next to you never could make you. not because he's your bodyguard but cus he's your best friend, your katsuki who cuts up apples to look like little bunnies for you and the one that ties your shoe laces before you could even look down and notice they were untied, the one who brought you home. the one who'd been sitting next to you every day and will keep doing so for as long as he lives even if he can't at school.

katsuki remembers you telling him that the four bodyguards before him were no fun. that they didn't speak or play with you, but that he was your favourite. that he could be really nice and when you lean up to jokingly give him a get better kiss right on the tip of his nose, he scrunches it up and you giggle, and katsuki remembers that he's your favourite.

he'd told you he was the best and he intends on staying your favourite, so he stuffs his face in your neck and blows raspberries in it to make you giggle and to make you kick your legs he tickles you. he can admit that most bodyguards wouldn't do that. but he's your best friend, and he can admit you're his too.

WHEEW CHAPTER TEWW !! loved writing this i hope yall enjoy ! this chapter was softer but i promise i'll start getting more active later on !! just wanted to have a sorta soft kindaaa in verse katsu character study kinda chap if that makes sense :> hope yall look forward to more chapters ! (p.s. i was really excited to write this part so please don't think every chap is going to come out this fast lol 🩷💗!!!!)

taglist ! : @bkgpackets @erenstitanweave @flowershop1340 @kovu-bunnbunn @queenpiranhadon

[paraphwrites]

followup on my post about dbda & loneliness.

'dead boy detectives' is a show where fundamentally, every character is very very lonely. but, they make each other less lonely. jenny is a surrogate parent for crystal, edwin and niko are always there for each other, crystal and charles understand each other, charles and edwin complete each other. there's just something so beautiful that even though they are all in pain and lonely, they are not alone, they have friends who would literally die for them.

i realized i was queer pretty young and in a very non-accepting environment. i was the only queer person i knew for a really long time, and that was really hard for me. and there was something devastatingly beautiful about watching edwin go through the a similar journey and not be alone.

dbda is important for a million reasons. but i would like to focus on one reason in particular.

'dead boy detectives' illustrates that there are multiple different ways to realize one's queer identity. you have simon, who is so wrapped up in self-hatred that he tears other people down with him. you have edwin, who is utterly unwilling to express any desire in such a way but ultimately embraces it. you have monty, who seems to have always known he was queer and always been very okay with that. you have charles, (i include him because i believe he is, but that can be debated) who goes on a long journey to realize it due to his circumstances. and they are all valid, and they are all real, and some of them hurt other people. because when the world hurts you so fundamentally, sometimes you end up hurting other people too. and you have people who have never had an issue with being queer, and that's great. and you have people who have to come to terms with it and it is hard and it is beautiful but they don't have to do it alone.

and that MATTERS. so often in media, we have a narrow, limited perspective for what realizing one's queer identity means. but there are so, so many different ways to figure yourself out, and dbda shows that in a very tangible and real way

the stories you tell are the stories we hear. so if @netflix only wants to tell stories about straight white people (maybe featuring a token gay character, so they can put it under the lgbt section), then that is the stories that people will hear

chimamanda ngozi adichie gave an incredible ted talk, back in 2009, called 'the danger of a single story.' in it, she discusses how, when you only tell & hear a singular story about a certain group of people, that becomes how you perceive the entire populace.

when a coming out journey is limited to its popular depiction (*realizes* *is kinda sad* *gets a bf*) then that is what all queer people are reduced to

look, i get that netflix has a couple of great shows featuring multiple queer characters, and i've watched & loved most of them. but god if i am not tired of people telling me to watch heartstopper. (i did & it's great & that's not the point.) the point IS that there should not be Two Gay Shows on your platform. because then the entirety of queer people are reduced to that.

now, maybe if it was just dbda, i wouldn't be so up in arms.

BUT THE FUCKING PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY ADAPTATION?????????????????????????????????

you CANNOT reduce queer people to shows that aren't worth renewing. you CANNOT erase queer characters from classic lit just because you want it to be more mainstream. when you do that, you are reducing queer identities to the single story you are willing to tell.

(to be clear i'm not blaming all of homophobia on netflix. i am simply pointing out a way in which they are contributing)

[lemotmo]

Some of them clearly got the point of Tim's call-out.

Q. What did you make of Tim's interview? I realize the bulk was Lonestar but the fandom stuff was interestingly phrased. The fact that so many people involved with the show, and now the showrunner himself, are openly discussing how bad things are cannot be a good sign. I know we had some fans who were saying we could 'bully' Tim and the show into giving us more Tommy but I think that was a massive mistake in hindsight. I think certain people got carried away and went way too far. Weather their intentions were ever bad or not I just think some people took the bullying idea too far. I'm a little worried we may not see Tommy at all now.

A. The bullying idea was always going to be a massive mistake. Normally you can take Tim's interviews with a bit of 'lol, why is he so dramatic' because he's not immune to getting his feelings hurt, and using his interviews to tell people that. In this case though it was definitely a direct callout. I have been here from the beginning and the show has never experienced anything close to what they have experienced this off-season. It's one thing to root for a particular show ship it's another thing entirely to openly send, and openly encourage others, to send hate to the cast and creators of a show. Then those same fans dragged the lighting director, director of photography, show directors and professional media members who have covered the show for years into their bullying game as well. It was insane, pathetically immature behavior. At times it was also incredibly disturbing. And every single bit of it can be traced back to the cameo videos. The second the storyline they were paying to be told didn't match the storyline we were actually watching they revolted.

And unfortunately because I think Tim, and ABC, just didn't think they were anything worth paying attention to initially, he was allowed to do them way too long. The more he did the more obsessed with him that particular group of people became. This has nothing to do with 911. Those people aren't at all interested in 911. Their entire interest is Lou and Lou alone. It's a small group of people. A small sick group of people who created a bunch of separate accounts in order to appear to be more people than they actually are (and they were stupid enough to openly admit that is what they did). Then that small group of people got together and from every single one of their many accounts they attacked as a group. They started with Oliver. They pointed out that Oliver wasn't interacting with Lou or engaging with any of them, or B/T content, and decided, at least initially, that he was solely to blame for B/T not getting the attention they thought it deserved, again the Buck part they don't care about. They were upset that they weren't seeing more of Tommy and they blamed Oliver for that. Suddenly Oliver was being tagged in posts that were calling him unprofessional, immature, bratty, selfish, and because of course, homophobic (they're really not a bright group of people). However instead of taking their bait and engaging with them, Oliver, rightly, blocked them. Meaning they needed a new target. Briefly it became Tim because their moronic leader screenshot a message she sent him that he, stupidly, responded to. She took that and spun and ENTIRE relationship theory and spread it through her many accounts. Tim then admitted in another comment that he actually didn't know what she was talking about but didn't want to be rude by continuing to ignore her so he responded to her. He then said that was a mistake and he wouldn't be responding to anything else. And he hasn't (she should be very embarrassed by his interview today because he may as well have used her name). And the show also continued to not align with her/their theory and they got more upset. Then found a new target.

Throughout the season Oliver did what Oliver has always done. Oliver posted, liked and promoted Eddie/Buddie/Buckley Diaz family content. He has always done this. This was nothing new. But it infuriated Lou's fans and they turned their anger on Ryan. Suddenly Eddie was the worst character in the history of television. He was an abuser (to Buck especially), he was a user (of Buck especially). He was a terrible friend (to Buck especially). Depending on the day he was either a deadbeat dad or obsessed with his kid in an unhealthy way (they couldn't ever really decide which way to go on this one. That opinion was dependent on how the poster felt about Chris). When that attack didn't really get the attention they were begging for, they changed direction and made it personal. Post after post, that Ryan was always tagged in, calling him racist, a deadbeat dad, an asshole, unprofessional, manipulative and controlling of Oliver (wtf, god they really are a stupid group of people), a whore (I actually read that one myself, it was a trip), a terrible actor that only has a job because Tim thinks he's hot. And so on and so on. At first Tommy didn't kiss Eddie because Ryan is homophobic and refused to do the storyline, then Tim, very publicly, corrected that lie so Lou's fans had to pivot and said Lou actually refused to do the Eddie storyline because he knows Ryan isn't a good guy ( a special kind of crazy that makes me need to drink ). Then they sunk to their sickest, lowest, most pathetic, vile, disturbing, and inexcusable moment. Ryan did a podcast where he discussed his past mental health struggles and suicidal thoughts. They went into the comments on the podcast and told Ryan that they wish he had committed suicide. That if he had killed himself then Tommy could have his screen time and they wouldn't have to see Buck have scenes with Eddie. Not only did they leave those comments (the podcast has since deleted most of them, thankfully), they sent similar messages directly to Ryan on Instagram. Knowing he would see them. It was appalling and very, very disturbing. The cameo videos ended fairly shortly after. These people are sick. They get zero sympathy or understanding from me. It's a fucking television show. Tommy is not a real person. Ryan is a real person.

As for maybe not seeing Tommy at all, I would imagine conversations have certainly taken place. He was never sticking around permanently. The conversations most likely involved deciding if they needed him at all, and if they did, how many actual scenes did they need him for. I don't work on the show, but if they decided he wasn't necessary to the storyline, and they could get away with his stuff happening off screen I would imagine he's been dismissed. They probably decided they needed him at least for a few scenes though. Unless other things happened behind the scenes we're not aware of he will be around the first few episodes at least and then and probably no more. He can take his tiny army with him when he leaves. No one will miss them.

Okay, just ... yeah, all of this. It's crazy how these people did all of these horrible things in the name of... a ship? I mean, what?

I've been in fandom for a very long time and I have been shipping characters for a very long time, but I've never seen behaviour like this. Behaviour where people think they are justified to bully, harass and vilify the actors playing a character on a TV-show. To the point where they get blocked by the actors and crew.

I don't understand what would drive someone to do that? I genuinly don't.

These are the kind of people that need to put down their phones forever, go outside and touch all the grass they can touch. After that they should never watch 911 again. If you don't like something, just walk away. I have done that before. Shows don't always go where a fan wants it to go.

Look. I want Buddie. You all know that. I'm 99% certain that we're getting Buddie in season 8. But, if it turns out we won't, which is always a possibility since I don't know what Tim is cooking up, I will be disappointed, but I won't start spewing hatred all over the place. I will just take a step back and focus on other things in life. I'll keep shipping Buddie and read fanfiction. I'll be fine here in my Buddie corner of the Internet with my Buddie mutuals.

So yeah, this is insane behaviour to me. I truly don't get it.

Thanks Nonny for dropping this in my inbox!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting these anon OP updates instead of reblogging. Don't get mad at me. There is a reason for it and it's all done with consent from the OP. You can find out more about that here.

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[dr5amatic]

IN THE ASHES ,

a sentence starter prompts list comprised of quotes from the novel an ember in the ashes by sabaa tahir. please be advised that this list may involve topics including, but not limited to, murder, death, and violence. change verbiage as needed.

why do keep disappearing when i need you?

i wasn't spying.

what you saw is dangerous. you can't tell anyone about it. not ever.

keep your secrets close, love.

i'm not working for them.

don't be afraid [name], i won't let anything happen to you.

what are you doing down here?

much as i hate to admit it, you're not usually wrong.

the field of battle is my temple.

the dance of death is my prayer.

the killing blow is my release.

aren't you a pretty one.

who trained you?

keep it safe for me just until i come back.

unless you're stupider than you look, even you can see how this appears.

you worked hard. you did everything right.

go, [name]. go get some air. i'll handle this.

the ghosts of our misdeeds seek vengeance, but the cost will be high.

you are an ember in the ashes, [name]. you will spark and burn, ravage and destroy. you cannot change it. you cannot stop it.

we don't abandon our own!

who do you want me to spy on?

shadows will bloom in your heart and you will become everything you hate.

so my choices are either to stay and be evil or run and be evil. wonderful.

they always underestimate me.

this isn't a mission for the fainthearted.

go away. you're not real.

you're distracted when you can ill afford to be.

if you want to win this, you need to wake up.

i've already wasted too much time cleaning up your messes.

lay low. don't risk spying until you're certain you won't get caught.

fail me again, and we're done.

these are my friends, my family. people i know. i wouldn't hurt them.

how do i make it stop? i have to make it stop.

until you conquer your fear, the dead will remain with you.

i won't kill you. i swear it. by blood and bone, i swear it.

you're going to be fine. i'm going to fix you right up.

fight, [name]. you have to fight. you have to win.

death before tyranny.

if what you say is true, then the balance is upset, and we must restore it.

you look terrible. come into the shade.

you really should run. you’re just going to die.

wait, you idiot! it might be a trap!

i won’t let you fall, i promise.

i want you to know that i think what you’re doing is brave. really brave.

it’s not a stupid idea, just dangerous. i don’t want you getting hurt.

you’re trying to sneak out.

i wouldn’t have traded this for anything.

i live with my sins everyday. i live with the guilt.

i’ve never asked you for anything. i’m asking you now.

you think i can’t defend myself? you think i need bodyguards?

i’ve been distracted worrying about you.

i’ll kill him for this.

don’t talk. just keep quiet and… let me think.

you’re in love with me! but i'm not in love with you, and you hate me for it. you’ve let that ruin our friendship.

i could never be in love with you.

you have no idea what I’ve given up for you, the deal i made. 

who did this?

look at you–look what they’ve done to you.

you don’t have to be brave.

do you have what i want?

i have something, but i need more time.

if you have nothing, then this mission is a failure.

don’t have time for that. I’ve got other things on my mind.

if i wanted to hurt you, i’d already have done it.

as long as there is life, there is hope.

either way, you’d have blamed yourself.

either way, people you cared about would have suffered.

i should have stayed, even if it meant dying.

they won’t let you have compassion or kindness. they won’t let you have a soul.

my soul’s gone. I killed it dead on that battlefield.

there are two kinds of guilt. the kind that’s a burden and the kind that gives you purpose. 

you have a soul. it’s damaged, but it’s there. don’t let them take it from you.

you don’t need to be so cat-footed. i’m not armed.

you’re surprised? you’re naïve, is what you are. you’re a fool.

you’re sick. don’t you have any regret? any remorse?

i’ll celebrate them. i’ll mourn them. but i won’t regret what i did. i did it for the empire. i did it for my people.

don’t make vows when you can’t know their cost.

i crossed a line, and i won’t cross it again.

do you know what i do to spies?

be strong. if you don’t win this, everything is lost.

i will be your blood shrike, your second-in-command, the sword that executes at your will, until death. i swear it.

in the night, your loneliness crushes you, as if the sky itself has swooped down to smother you in its cold arms.

there is nothing of me that is worth anything.

tell me, or i slit your throat here and now.

you’ll pay for this. i swear it to the skies, to the stars. you’ll pay.

just because he’s a good leader doesn’t mean he’s a good person. he lied to you.

for the first time since i can remember, i don’t feel alone. because of you.

i can’t–i can’t stop thinking about you. i’ve tried not to. i tried to push you out.

i’ll take care of everything. i promise.

the moment i knew you existed, i hated you.

if i feel regret, it’s that i wasn’t willing to die sooner.

i’d rather die than live with no mercy, no honor, no soul.

fear is only your enemy if you allow it to be.

too much fear an you’re paralyzed. too little fear and you’re arrogant.

i’ll watch your back if you watch mine. we can make it if we stick together.

[ghostorbz]

Everyone say hi to my

obnoxiously long ZADR analysis!!!

I've said it time and time again, these two have a deep and complex relationship that most people just write off as "just enemies" when they really aren't!! It's kinda irritating,,, so I wanna analyze how they act and treat each other (though a zadr lens) Because to me it's pretty obvious they deeply care about the other. I'll go over multiple episodes, the movie, unfinished episodes, as well as the pilot and comics and try to explain their relationship. Though some episodes (and many comic issues) will go unexplained if they center only around one of the two, around a different character. or if I just really don't have much to say.

1. The nightmare begins

The first time these two meet is in the first episode when Zim enrolls in skool. Dibs first reaction is staring and pointing at Zim looking crazy. Explaining to the other kids how he's an alien. Ending off the argument by giving the other a stare. After class Dib immediately confronts Zim, showing off his alien sleep cuffs and chasing him around. Zim eventually gets away (or,, flies away I guess) just for Dib to show up at his house and bang on his door saying he's been waiting for this moment and he's prepared. Dib never thought to prepare for garden gnome lasers and gets his alien sleep cuffs incinerated. That's all. I know there aren't any moments that could really be viewed as zadr material here, I just thought it was a good idea to talk about the first episode. It's when they first meet after all!

2. Parent teacher night

Zim thinks of Dib while he's walking home. You could argue Zims only thinking of him because he's worried about parent teacher night, and sure. That's fair. I just wanted to bring it up because it's pretty cute. Dib in Zims head smiles and laughs, even tells him to watch out for the dog. If this really is what Zim is imagining, why would he include him being happy and warning him if he hates him. You can't hate someone that much if you're imagining them smiling and laughing while walking home.

Later on, Dib introduces Professor Membrane to Zim. He runs off only to come back and splash him on the face with fruit punch. A playful thing, nothing insane. Dib even does the same thing later on. Both of them smile while splashing the other. It's silly and harmless. An easy way to express their rivalry without hurting the other.

3. Dark harvest

I know last point could be debated. "Zim was only thinking of Dib because he was worried." BUT. YOU CANNOT EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.

This scene, right here. Literally what was he talking about.

"You see Gaz, to defeat my enemy I must study my enemy, then become my enemy, then move in with my enemy, then wear my enemy's clothes then-"

THEN WHAT?? I could be looking too far into this, but it just seems so intentional. Very intentional. If Gaz didn't interrupt him what was he gonna say? Seeing this bit in another show gives me that answer,,,

WAS Dib gonna say date? Maybe. Perhaps. But we don't know. Other than this part though there isn't anything else I can really mention. Other than the,,, organ harvesting,,, but I'd rather not! So lets move on

4. BattleDib

While this IS a Dib centric episode, I wanted to note he has a hologram of Zims head. How did he get that? It seems to me that he made it, but that begs the question, how did he get everything right? I mean it's an exact replica of Zim out of his disguise. Does he look at Zim that often? And why a 3D hologram? It's not like he doesn't have photos of Zim out of his disguise. He has photos of Zim in his closet. They don't seem like drawings either, they're definitely photographs. This makes me think. Is Zim comfortable enough around Dib to let him take photos of him out of his disguise just for himself? He doesn't even let Gir do that, as we can see with the photograph of Gir and Zim in bad bad rubber piggy (this is assuming Gir took the photograph. It seems like something he would do) So why Dib? Dib has been shown to sneak photos of Zim, but the ones in his closet have Zim posing in some way, and they're pretty close up

5. Planet jackers

This episode is so good. I love it. But we're not here to talk about that. What we're here to talk about is how out of all people to go to, Zim goes to Dib. Zim rings the bell and waits for an answer. He seems nervous too, looking back at Gir for assurance with a worried expression and sighing. To quote another analysis, "When the chips are down it's always, "You're the only person who can help me." Usually they say it's because the other person is the only one with technology advanced enough to help, but there's more left unspoken."

Even IF the other doesn't help, they still go to eachother. They trust eachother enough to ask the other for help. Even if it's hard.

6. A room with a moose

Zim tries to send his whole class away through a worm hole in space. When Dib finds out, Zim doesn't hesitate to tell him everything that's going on. Even saying,

"This wouldn't be as much fun without you sticking your smelly nose in here." "You're really one of the only people who can appreciate the amazingness of this plan, so I'll let you in on what it is." "My mission might not be as exciting without you around to annoy me."

Zim talks about Dib (relatively) positively here. Saying his mission is more fun with him, how sending everyone away would be boring without Dib intervening, and even trusting Dib and letting him know what exactly he's doing.

7. Hamstergeddon

When Peepi starts destroying the town Dib doesn't even seem mad at Zim, just pointing and going

"Anything you'd like to confess?"

He's somewhat used to Zims antics by now. Later on when Zims knocked out Dib thinks over if he really wants to capture him. Of course, Zim wakes up before he can make a decision, but this one part sticks out to me.

"Wait! Zim, promise me you're on our side this time." "I know not of sides, earth stink. But for once I agree with you, the hamster must be stopped."

Dib asks Zim to promise him. Later on he even defends Zim when the army guys try shooting at him. Sure, it could just be because they agreed to work together, but along with Dib overthinking if he wanted to capture Zim, this shows he doesn't really want Zim to get hurt.

8. Bolognius maximus

When Dib tricks Zim into pricking himself with the nail tack, Zim seems to lose hostility towards Dib, smiling while grabbing his hand. The moment Dib "opens up" and praises Zim is when he thinks he's done well. He appreciates Dibs applause, in fact, it seems like he wants it. Saying "finally" before talking about how great he is.

Although, Zim can't find a cure for the baloney thing himself and goes to Dib for help. Dib seems really happy by this, literally GLOWING. In one scene, Zim and Dib glance at eachother when they fail making a cure the first time. To me, it feels like they're looking to see if the other is okay (which is really cute,,, I'm insane about stuff like that)

In another scene, Zim is freaking out because another attempt at a cure was failed. Dib puts his arms out; it seems like he wants to comfort him.

In the end, they never find a cure and hide from the dogs together. You know what they say, together in every universe, even the one where they're baloney,,,

9. Halloween spectacular of doom

The episode that made me ship them,,, siigh,,,

Zim is worried for Dib in the beginning, thinking he could possibly be dead, or a zombie. When Dib ends up escaping the crazy house, he immediately goes to Zim.

"It's the only chance."

When Dib gets captured Zim comes just in time to save him. He's still mad at him, but he comes through anyway. And the line that single-handedly made me ship them,,,

"I'm not here because I like you, Dib."

Dib looks surprised when Zim says this, he knows their relationship as enemies, but for Zim to say it like that shocks him. I wonder if Dib is thinking it in the opposite way, like how tsunderes in anime often say the same line when they really do like the other person. He then calls his head big and Dib responds, it seems playful. Zim then could leave Dib dangling there but no, he protects him and moves him to the back of the machine thingy

10. Megadoomer

When Dib is trying to get his camera back, Zim playfully throws it back and forth so he can't get it. Is this important? No. I just think it's cute. They also wrestled in this episode

11. Tak, the hideous new girl

When Dib finds Zim in his house and confronts him, it could easily be read as Zim being jealous that Dib is spending time with Tak instead of him. Dib even said he was jealous!!

This is also another episode where they team up, so that's nice

12. Backseat drivers from beyond the stars

THIS LOOK. Also the music for this part is really good. Just thought I'd add that

13. Mortos der soulstealer

Dib shows Mortos photos of Zim while talking about him. Not only does he just have photos of his "greatest enemy", he has one of him in the bathroom putting on his contacts. Zim and Dib also wrestle again!! Later on when Mortos leaves, Zim checks up on Dib who's screaming and crying on the floor. Zim seems to be at least a little bit concerned for him.

14. The girl who cried gnome

Zim says,

"I don't care how delicious he is, he's evil!"

"He" referring to Dib. Okay man. It kinda seems like you do care.

15. Vindicated!

While Dib and Mr. Dwicky are waiting, Dib draws Zim in the dirt

Seemingly for no reason,,, they weren't talking about Zim when he was doing this. They were sitting in silence. So WHYY did he draw him,,,

16. The most horrible x-mas ever

This is the episode that made me want to make this post! Originally I had thought Dib was smiling right before he threw the mini santa suit into space but APPEARENTLY I was wrong. I'm still adding it though because this part was the specific reason I wanted to make this

But one thing I can note is that this (sort of) is an episode where they help eachother out! At the end when Zim had given up Dib comes and rescues him. Even if he didn't know he was saving Zim, he did.

Zim seems thankful for Dib saving him too, at least until he's dressed up as the easter platypus.

17. The frycook what came from all that space

While this is a Zim centric episode, at the very end the two chase eachother around. Zim is back on earth and he's immediately brought back to what's familiar. His best friend, his worst enemy.

Now that we're finally done with all the episodes (that I felt the need to talk about) We can get started with the other stuff!! Starting with,,,

18. The pilot

Which you can watch here!

While I'm not sure if the pilot is canon or not, I would like to bring it up. There's a specific scene before the two start fighting where Zim actually takes some time to appreciate Dibs food launcher thing

"An arm-mounted food launcher! Neat!" "You really think so? Thanks! I was up all night working on it." "Well it shows." "Oh, quit it."

They seem to be a bit more friendly in the pilot, canon or not, it's interesting to see!

19. The return of Keef

The whole point of this episode was for Zim and Dib to be friendly in order to make Keef explode, since there was no animation made for it, here's the transcript instead

This shows that the two are embarrassed to be seen hugging, but is it just because they're enemies? Or is there a separate reason? I don't think anyone at skool would believe them to be friends because they hugged once. Or maybe they're afraid it might cause other feelings,,, who knows. It sucks this never got made, I would've loved to see Zim and Dib hug, it would've been super cute!!

20. Mopiness of doom

For this part, I will be using screenshots from Soapy Waffles. While they aren't canon it's the best visualizer for mopiness of doom that I've seen. You can watch it here!

Quite literally the most important part of their relationship gets shown in this episode. I've ranted many many times about this episode and I'll do it again. Dib goes on to pursue "real" science with his dad, while doing this he becomes depressed and sad. Zim becomes closed off and never leaves his house, spiraling into a pretty bad mental state. But the second Dib runs out of that lab and back to Zim both of them seem immediately happier. While they are insulting eachother, it's with familiarity, love. This episode shows one needs the other to keep themself happy. They bring meaning to eachothers lives.

The first scene shows them trying to stop eachother. Of course for it to not work out. The next day when Dib breaks the news to him Zim seems happy at first, but when Dib doesn't stay to watch Zim sounds genuinely upset.

At home, Gir does something stupid but Zim doesn't have the energy to yell or even say anything back. Gir takes this as an immediate sign that something is wrong. Back at Dibs house he's doing really well with his dad and "real" science. Gaz questions him about it, and he's faced with the thing he truly loves and his fathers approval.

A while later, Zim completely lets himself go. It's been weeks and Zim hasn't showed up to school. When Dib is back at the labs, Gir explains to him that he needs to help Zim get out of his depressive state.

Eventually, Dib explains to his dad that he doesn't like "real science." He likes chasing Zim and he likes the paranormal. He runs out and goes back to Zim, who's in disbelief. The two fight but instead out of hatred it's out of affection. Things are back to the way they like it.

On top of that, there's this clip (which I think about constantly)

21. Enter the florpus

Keep in mind I'm not rewatching the whole movie to write this, this has already taken about 6 hours as of typing this. So if I miss a part,,, sorry!

Dib waited months and months for when Zim would show back up. He sat there waiting for ONE person. The one person who also happens to give him meaning in his life

Later on when Zims in his "cheesy cocoon of misery" he explains how he couldn't get Clembrane to make pudding the way Dib likes. With Dib replying that he in fact, doesn't love pudding. Zim still tried to do something relatively nice by trying to get Clembrane to make good pudding for Dib.

And even with everything they've been through so far, Dib is completely willing to work with Zim

Another thing I would like to mention is that the artists/animators for the movie made a ton of doodles in between working, some of them being zadr related! You can see them here

22. Issue 9

Finally onto the comic issues! I haven't read all of them yet, and since there's so many I definitely missed some stuff, but here's everything I could remember. Starting with 9. In this one part, you can see Dib falling asleep on Zims shoulder

23. Issue 12

Zim rescues Dib and tells him to never forget that he hates him. Which could be read as "don't forget that I love you"

24. Issue 13

I don't know what to make of this one actually

25. Issue 30

After Dib found out Zim had the limited edition soda he needed, he did multiple things to try to prove to Zim that he should have it. Though he wasn't very good at them. So Zim decided he wanted a compliment from Dib. Why? Absolutely no clue. After some (intense) thinking, he compliments Zim. Though this could be read as if Dib is embarrassed or flustered

26. Issue 40

I have talked about this before here, but I wanted to mention it again as it SERIOUSLY messed with my head. Knowing that it's canon (if comics ARE canon) that they're together in every universe is insane. I love them so much guys

27. The canon (?) invader zim ending

Okay,, I'm not entirely sure if this is entirely canon or not, but I would like to mention it. In this comic, Zim takes over earth and loses all of his hostility towards Dib and they go to another planet with bunnies and they're having a happy fun silly time. It's really cute!

And I think that's all for now,,, I know I probably missed some things, but I think I got a lot! This has taken like, 9 hours. So hopefully this is good!! I looove zadr so I enjoyed just talking about them :3 uhh BUT YEA!! That's allll I think maybe

[moodymisty]

Ugh. I promised myself I wasn't going to spam you, but I just read your post about closing requests soon, and I wanted to get one more in. I swear I won't get impatient, though! Absolutely take all the time you need!

Every so often I go back and re-read your old fics (because they're awesome) and I just finished the one about the serf willingly giving their blood to a Lamenter. What about a fic where a fem-serf is able to bring her Lamenter lover out of the Black Rage?

Put in as much angst (and/or spiciness) as you like, as long as the two end up alive, together, and hopeful at the end. I just need something to go RIGHT for those poor, sweet boys.

Thank you so much!

Author's Note: Technically you can't pull an astartes out of the Black Rage, but I'm sure we could temper it before he completely loses himself ;3 This came out like, happy sad and fluffy. I hope you like.

Relationships: Theo (Lamenter oc)/Fem!Reader

Warnings: None really

A booming voice rips through the massive room, where the baseline humans aboard the Lamenters ship are eating. A few marines are eating too, forgoing the traditional time to enjoy a meal with baseline humans they perhaps consider friends.

"Where is Theo's girl?!"

The voice rips through the room, everyone turning to look his way.

He is with one other astartes, who looks just as concerned as he is. They both scan the room, the air itself having dropped into silence at the yells of an Angel.

"The girl! The serf who is always with Lieutenent Theo! Where is she!?"

You're that girl.

You wonder why they want you, why they are screaming; Astartes voices are so ungodly loud, you look at them as your throat tightens. You couldn’t be in trouble?

“…I'm her!"

You eventually say, the people beside you watching as you raise from your seat. They look worried, like your days are numbered, but you doubt the Lamenters would kill you so easily. It's not as if you've done anything wrong; Unless your relationship with Theo was worthy of such a corporal punishment. You pray that won’t be the case.

"Come with us!"

You follow, attempting to keep up with them as they barrel down the hall. Your heart burns from your tired breathing, as you hurry after them.

"Tell me, do you know of the Black Rage?"

One quickly says, grabbing your arm to nearly drag you along when you begin to slow. It hurts, but he's being gentle enough that it doesn't hurt badly enough to complain.

"Yes, Theo has told me."

The astartes nods as you all turn a corner.

"He is loosing himself to it. He is not fully gone yet but he is yelling our primarch's name; Yours as well," He continues. "We are guessing that if you're there, we might pull him out of it before it's too late."

You all eventually reach where ever Theo is, as the astartes here are piled up at the ready near the entrance.

"What happens if this doesn't work?"

You say- though you know the answer. If they put down men fallen to the Red Thirst, you don't imagine it is very much different with the Black Rage.

"He would get the Emperor's Mercy. It is all we can give him if he is lost.”

The thought of Theo being gone backs your chest tighten, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. You can’t lose him. Not to something like this.

"Come in, we have him restrained but, we aren't going to keep him like this for long. He deserves mercy if we cannot pull him back.”

You follow them in, and you instantly you hear it; The screaming.

"Horus! I will tear you to shreds! Don't touch them! Don't touch any of them!"

Theo is chained on his knees to the floor, ripping and pulling at the chains with every bit of his strength. He is an older, stronger Lamenter, the chains are creaking and groaning with each tug as the threaten to give under his raw strength. A few Lamenters are posted around the small room with bolters ready, fingers on the trigger.

"Theo?"

You quietly say to him, and the one astartes who had dragged you hear lets your aching arm go. Theo's attention instantly snaps to you, but it's almost as if he's looking through you.

"You're here? How are you? You have to leave! It is not safe here I must-"

You shake your head and come closer, despite the mutters of the other Lamenters not to. They want to keep your safety in mind next to an enraged, massive Lamenter, but even in your dizzying fear of him you just want to help him. You quell your shaking and move to him.

"Theo, don't look at them, look at me."

He's seeing ghosts in his brothers, his eyes are trained on them like enemies. Each movement they make pulls him away from you, and any calmness you give him is ruined at the sound of another Lamenter even just shifting in his armor.

"Can you all, can you all leave for a moment? He thinks you're the enemy." The look among each other, and debate it.

"Very well."

They move to leave, and you hear the door close behind them once they all file out. The door locks, and you're trapped in here with him. If anything goes wrong, you’re the first in his path.

"Theo, see? They're all gone."

His eyes are frantic, dark- they scan the room looking for enemies you can't see. You hear him muttering names under his breath you don’t recognize, besides the Angel Sanguinus.

Horus, he’s going to kill Horus,

"It's just me and you, like the last time you returned from duty and we had that time alone in your quarters?"

You hear his hearts racing you swear, and you can tell he's still half in that illusion the Rage is trapping him in. He shakes his head, wrinkled brow furrowing.

"I remember, I remember."

His eyes dart behind you and you quickly move to try and block whatever he thinks he sees. It works; You see him squeeze his eyes shut.

"He's not there. Nothing is there." You put a hand to his face.

"There's nothing here but me, Theo."

He takes a few more deep breaths, and you see the glaze on his face- that distant look - slowly fade away.

"You are here. When did you get here?" You laugh.

"Your brothers ran to get me when they saw you were succumbing to the Rage. They hoped I would be able to help."

He can't touch you with his hands chained towards the ground, but he can lean forward and let you put his forehead to your neck.

"You did help. I don't remember any of this day; I was about to be completely lost, wasn't I."

You pull back and nod at him. You push a hand over your eyes to wipe away any tears before they fall down your face.

"You were acting like your brothers were enemies." He hangs his head- not moments after being pulled from the brink of true insanity and he is already admonishing himself.

"You put yourself in danger to pull me from my own weakness. Why?"

Why wouldn't you? He is the light of your life, Theo is your entire world. You couldn't imagine a life without him.

"Because I wanted to." You give him a kiss to the scar on his nose.

"Can your brothers come and unchain you?" He nods, before yelling.

"Brothers. I am here. I can... I can be unchained."

They return, looking at Theo with no small bit of surprise. Even the one who dragged you here in a last ditch effort seemed shocked.

"You managed to pull him back from the Rage? I didn't think it would work." It didn't seem like many of them did. Though you suppose you can't be surprised. You don’t know if anyone has ever managed to delay the Black Rage.

They move to unchain him, and quickly he picks you up and holds you close to his chest. It’s a bit too tight pressed against cold ceramite, but you have zero desire to tell him that.

"Go get unarmored, Lieutenant Theo. Then perhaps today you have earned some rest." The captain looks to you, bundled in his arms.

"Your serf too. She helped us save a good brother."

Theo takes you with him to remove his armor, a deed you have never seen done before. You watch as each piece is pulled away one at a time, until the is only left in his black armoring suit. He removes that too, before covering his bare skin with a robe.

Once he is finished he picks you back up, and silently carries you to his quarters.

When you get there, he places you on the cot he calls his bed and climbs into it with you, dragging you around until you are firmly against his chest and unable to escape.

"I have no ways to say how much I am in debt to you. You have saved me from the Thirst an uncountable number of times, and now the Rage," You shake your head against his chest.

"Don't worry. I do it all because I love you. I’ll do it again, if you need me to.”

The metal of his interface ports digs into your skin, but you couldn't care less.

"I love you as well."

[okkotsuus]

MARTYRDOM (satoru g.) !

features: satoru gojo

contents: MAJOR SPOILERS (236 to 261). death. major character death. heavy angst. grief. crying. blood. bile mentioned. self-inflicted wound (knuckles). set in sukuna raid. hurt no comfort. some fluff if you go blind. i'm sorry. 1.8k words

notes: i'm actually gonna commit i hate gege so much. @saexy because ur my fav and u have to suffer with me! <333

the december air has always found a way to work it's chill deep into your bones. it makes your teeth chatter and a trill run up your spine. but there was an unusual heat burning in your sinuses.

sitting in the observation deck, huddled around a projection of the battlefield with the few people who understood what was actually happening in the world. your eyes burn, having been too devoted to whatever image was displayed to take a second to breathe. lungs stuttering and beginning to claw up your throat for single shred of air.

but you don't move.

no.

you cannot move.

there's a faint ringing in your ears, pounding louder and louder until a scream rips through the deafening silence. you don't even recognize it as your own, nor do you feel your kneecaps colliding harshly with the stone floor.

there he is. satoru gojo. the man you have loved for as long as you can remember. unmoving.

oh.

wait...

he just moved.

false alarm. it was just the top half of his body falling from the world-cutting slash that sukuna had just used to kill the strongest sorcerer of the modern age.

hot tears run down your face as your body moves instinctively to try to shatter the screen, held back by the clammy hands of kusakabe. your chest heaves in a gasping breath, only drawn in to fuel the wails erupting from your throat.

out of the corner of your eye, you can see yuta wincing, eyes drawn away from the scene of you crumbling. no one speaks, seemingly just as shocked as you. yet no one else cried.

it feels as if you are the only one left out of an unknown message, a warning that foretold of the events playing out in front of you.

because why would they tell you?

weak, pathetic, non-sorcerer you. you who can only see cursed spirits when in high stress because of an unfortunate accident with a sorcerer as a child. you who has no cursed technique, no ability to even harness your own cursed energy in basic imbuing. you who was possibly the weakest, the only one crying for the strongest.

teeth scrape against your tongue as the metallic taste of iron begins to fill your senses, going limp in kusakabe's hands. he lets go. your ears ring, the sounds of their hushed, urgent whispers escaping you.

you see yuta leave out of the corner of your eye, it doesn't register. you watch, numb, as kashimo and hakari charge into battle. the electric reincarnation is killed like fodder the second sukuna takes flesh.

for a long while, your sight is blurry, phasing in and out of reality in moments, recalling everything you loved about satoru gojo.

"satoru, who do you always wear your sunglasses when your not at work?" your voice asks, much softer and higher, a memory of youth. the two of you are maybe nineteen years old: young and stupid.

the white-haired man's blue gaze peeks over the rim of black lenses, confusion evident. then he remembers that you aren't like him, you don't know what it's like to constantly see filth crawling the streets. sweet y/n who doesn't even know that there's a flyhead buzzing around the room like a gnat.

you're untainted by this world, not ruined by jujutsu. you know it exists, only because of him and a run-in with a sorcerer when you were eight. but you don't know what it's like, and you never will: which is the greatest blessing satoru could ever wish you to have.

"i just like how they look, i am a natural beauty after all." he hums, eyes rolling as a grin parts his pink lips. because if he could help it, you wouldn't ever have to know what the world was truly like.

a clamor disrupts your thought, hearing shoko rushing out of the room. your eyes widen, stumbling shakily to your feet, catching your balance against the wall. maki mumbles something to try to get you to say, but you don't hear her.

chasing after the sound of peach-heels clicking against tiled floor, you catch a glimpse of white hair under a bloodied sheet. then a stainless steel door is slammed shut.

"shoko, please, let me see him..." you plea, hand fumbling with the knob, only to find the exam room locked. tears burn hot behind your eyes, sweaty palms pressing against the cold metal: fogging it up. your heart stops as you realize the possibility that gojo planned for his death.

deep down in your heart, you knew he wouldn't let himself rest, even when his life had long-departed his corpse. it makes you desperately knock against the door, mind remembering the pseudo geto that had trapped satoru in the prison realm.

"shoko, you can't do this to him, you can't just use him like this. you of all people should know what this means..!" your voice is shaky, panic rising in your veins as you remember the night staoru shared his broken heart with you.

"what kind of question is that? you can be both." your voice is older now, aged twenty-seven. white hair is strewn over your thighs, deft fingers carding through snowy tresses. satoru hums, eyes closing.

he reaches up, finger flicking teasingly against your forehead. "no one but you thinks that, angel. to the world, i am either 'the strongest' or 'satoru gojo.' that is simply how it works for me." his tone was even, nonchalant even. as if this was a reality he had co,e to terms with through a long life of turmoil.

a pout curls your lips downwards, looking into pools of serene blue as satoru stares right back up at you. a sigh puffs from your lips, hunching over to press a kiss against his forehead, pushing strands of ivory out of your way.

"to me, you'll always be my 'toru..."

memories fade away like dust in the wind when the clatter of metal jars you back into reality. it'ls likely shoko setting her instruments against her steel tray, likely preparing to operate on the corpse of the man you have never been able to love as much as you wished.

"shoko, please. please let him be human before being 'satoru gojo' or 'the strongest,' let him rest." the words fall from your lips like a prayer, desperation dripping in your tone. sinking to your knees, back pressed against the door, head in your hands. "you know i can't do that, y/n..."

the world moves to fast to allow grief to process. and fate was a cruel mistress. she had a penchant for kicking the weak while they were already down. which was why yuta okkotsu was being rushed behind the door you were restricted from entering: a large laceration running diagonally along his stomach.

the same wound that killed satoru, simply shallower.

but the difference was that yuta was conscious and alive.

he met your eyes for a moment, a weak smile on his face. and that same steel door was slammed against you once again. but you heard what the boy had said before it clicked shut and locked.

and the words shattered you further, if at all possible.

"i'm sorry, y/n, i'll try to bring him back to you in one piece."

it was so quiet, so faint, so soft that you just barely heard him. but it sent a wave of heat through your body, fists pounding against the steel with a reckless abandon, no matter the blood smearing over it, nor the pain pulsing from your knuckles.

deep down, you knew what was about to happen.

a part of you knew the second they retrieved gojo's body. you weren't enough of a fool to think it was simply for a proper burial. but the foolish part of your heart wanted to believe it so desperately.

you didn't need to speak, heavy sobs coming out of you, throat rubbed raw from screaming far too much in far too little time. they were going to stuff a child: yuta into your sweet satoru's body. like some sort of marionette puppet. just so the man could die for them twice.

"why did you start teaching, satoru?" again, younger, stupider, twenty five and beginning to thrive. he looks up from the small stack of papers in his hand, legs kicked up on his desk: the least teacher-like way to sit.

for once, he's serious, blue eyes looking straight through you, as if you weren't even there. it sent a chill up your spine, frozen in place. the man hums, eyes closing in thought and you can finally breathe.

finally he speaks, voice certain and doubtless. "i am going to teach the next generation of jujutsu, so that they will never have to bear the burden of being the strongest alone. and one day, they will succeed me. no one should be allowed to take youth away from young people."

you recognize the familiar look in his eyes, one that trancended this plane: that went beyond his own mortality. satoru gojo had never once been afraid of death, as if the concept entirely was foreign to him.

he doesn't react when he burns his hand on the stove, just running it under cold water and returning to what he was doing. he doesn't see a crash and think how it easily could've been him. he doesn't feel his throat begin to close up when death is narrowly avoided.

it was as if satoru gojo had known he would die a martyr since the moment he was born.

and there was a possibility he did.

footsteps without the click of a heel sound behind the door, sending bitter bile up your throat that burns against the rawness from your wails. tears well up instinctively, as if to blur your vision to prevent you from seeing what you knew was inevitably coming.

the lock clicks open, and you nearly die.

there stands satoru gojo, the same as before he left this morning.

but everything is wrong.

the way he stands. the rhythm he draws breath. the order his eyes scan over your face. the pattern he steps in. the way his hands feel when grasping yours.

"i'm sorry, miss y/n, but the fate of the world rests on this."

it was all wrong.

you couldn't even bare to look satoru- no. yuta in the eyes, knowing you'd have to see yourself in those crystalline irises, and you'd have to see the state that the world's treatment of your one and only left you in.

okkotsuus 24

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

"I don't support it in real life!"CW: talk of sexualizing minors, slight rant

Then why write about it? If for coping purposes, why post it online for others (especially actual predators) to see and consume? Then why portray those things in a positive light instead of condemning them?And you're seriously going to tell me that just because as an adult (1) you want to see a fictional minor (that mind you, is usually designed to resemble an actual child) depicted in sexual situations doesn't mean you don't share that same view concerning children in real life? You find fictional minors attractive but not real ones? Why does the line between finding someone who is (and usually also looks like) a child sexually attractive get drawn at whether the child is real or not? I'm not calling anyone pedophiles, but if the shoe fits...(1) No I am not talking about 18 y/os finding 17 y/os attractive. Use your brain. Creating content of underaged characters is still questionable regardless of age, however.

"Just mute/block instead of harassing others!"I have nearly 70k people blocked on twitter, and hundreds of words and tags muted, I softblock and mute people who post things I don't want to see. I still see certain things on my timeline, usually because1) It's posted in the main tags of something I'm interested in2) The post isn't even tagged at all3) If someone quote retweets from someone I've blocked, I still see the take on my timeline.

"Antis use the same rhetoric as exclusionists and TERFS!"What exactly does being against pedophilia have to do with trans (women) exclusionary radical feminism?And what does lgbtq discourse in general have to do with not wanting minors to be sexualized?

"Antis harass people!"Apparently, proshippers have never done this before! Not once has a grown adult stalked literal children for calling their ships gross!Not saying harassments ok at all, but let's not act like the poor proshippers are being oppressed here.Also, I promise you, someone saying "x is a proshipper, please block them if you don't want to see their content" is not harassment. Writing callout posts and videos on underaged "antis", however is most definitely harassment but y'all don't want to hear that. People have the right to know if they are platforming people who go against their personal beliefs and morals. Choosing to hide that from people who would otherwise not want to interact with you for the sake of not wanting to "lose friends" makes you a bad person, and you should feel bad.

replying under the cut bc this ask was long enough, and i don't wanna make ppl who follow us/see this have to scroll for eons

why do you think coping mechanisms have to stay private? if someone's coping mechanism was yoga, or working out, would you say they have to do that by themselves, in the confines of their own house, and they aren't allowed to talk to anyone else about it? i hope not, because that would be ridiculous (inb4 "yeah but yoga isn't harming anyone!", neither is fiction!).

the fact of the matter is, anyone can consume any type of content, and that shouldn't prevent people from making what they like. why not portray it in a positive light? what does it matter? any regular person knows that what they see in fiction should not necessarily be replicated in real life. i know better than to go out and kill someone just because billy loomis and stu macher do it.

furthermore, wouldn't you want actual pedophiles to use fiction rather than them going out and hurting real children? that's not how that works, but using your argument that they're one and the same, wouldn't that be better for everyone, and result in less people getting hurt, ergo fiction doesn't hurt anyone?

no, fictional characters are not meant to resemble actual children. that IS a crime. however, you cannot look at an anime child, or idk, kid ashley from TCOAAL, and tell me that looks like a REAL child. that's nonsense. and no, it does NOT mean i "share the same view concerning children in real life", because those characters aren't real, and i (can't believe i have to say this) am NOT attracted to real children. yes, you ARE calling me a pedophile, which is just categorically not true. it's not "questionable" because it's not REAL, which is necessary for someone to be diagnosed with pedophilia, which is a disorder, and not just some label you can put on people.

genuinely, if you are THAT sensitive to people having other opinions, or are sensitive to different kinds of art, maybe social media isn't the place for you to be. if the post isn't tagged, i agree, something should be done about that, but the fact is, WE DO tag our stuff. that has nothing to do with me (or chica), or even proshippers as a whole. you're doing the thing were you believe one rotten apple spoils the bunch.

when you post something online, you HAVE to understand that literally anyone can view it, and if your accounts aren't private, anyone can interact with it. that is the cost of posting online. if you can't handle that, log off.

i don't think i've ever compared being an anti to being a terf/exclus, BUT they do objectively share some of the same opinions as conservatives, and even nazis (which is NOT to say all antis are conservatives/nazis, but that you share some of the same ideals).

i can't speak much to that because i don't think i've ever made that argument, but it is a lil radfem-y when most of y'all go after specifically BL and yaoi. also terfs aren't only bigoted towards trans women, it's also trans men. idk why you said that.

yes, correct, anyone can harass anyone, but the fact of the matter is, 99% of the time proshippers get harassed, it's while we're in our own lanes, minding our own business, and y'all (much like you're doing right now) come into OUR spaces and call us pedophiles, and say we deserve to die, or that we should kill ourselves.

if you've been following this blog for the last week-ish, you'd have seen some prime examples of just that. doing nothing, talking to no one, and getting harassed. people saying i should be on watchpeopledie, saying i should be killed, that they hope i get cancer, or die in a car accident, or that my dad beats me to death. that i should "slit", cut to the bone, kill myself, hang myself. threatening to doxx me, find my address, have tried to grab my ip. the difference is, when proshippers are found to be doing this stuff, they're called out and reported, often by other proshippers, whereas antis, when they exhibit this behavior, they are encouraged. they're praised by their peers.

if all people did was say "x is a proshipper, block them", we wouldn't have an issue, but the fact is, a significant amount of y'all don't start with blocking. you start with slurs, nasty names, disgusting accusations, and downright deplorable behavior BEFORE you block us. if you block us. and when we block you, it's entirely possible you just create a new account to harass us from, or grab your friends to do it for you.

if platforming people who like different types of fiction than you is that big of a problem, that you feel the need to write callouts, make google docs, harass them, and threaten to doxx them, you need to get off the internet. stop interacting with people AT ALL. live in a bubble. because again, people you don't like are always going to exist on the internet, it's your duty to navigate that in the best way you can, WITHOUT hurting anyone.

people hide the fact they're proship because we don't want the harassment. that's sorta the crux of the issue? you're completely ignoring the COUNTLESS posts of people being harassed for simply existing and being proship. we shouldn't be made to feel bad for trying to protect ourselves and our peace, YOU should be made to feel bad for making others feel bad.

[tinyhuman826]

Guzma Fluff Alphabet

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

He's honestly down to do whatever. But if you let him pick he'll spend the ENTIRE DAY catching Wimpods. And end it off at the beach. That's his idea of a perfect day. He names a lot of Wimpods after things you like

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

You could look like an opossum dragged down the street and he'd still think you're drop-dead gorgeous. Also I don't wanna hear shit, he is a titty guy all day. He loves bazongas. And also thick thighs. And a nice ass. Thick everything honestly. He does not care. He WILL end up kissing you everywhere anyway

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Emotional Support Wimpods. But also a comforting hug. If hugs aren't your thing...well, he'll sit with you. He won't let you feel alone.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He honestly doesn't think you'll like him for long. But when he's feeling hopeful he tends to think about how cool you two would be together. Him as a Bug Type gym leader, you doing whatever you wanted to, it's great.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

I'd say he tries to be neutral but he does have kind of arrogant bossy tendencies just because he leads Team Skull. It kind of gets to his head a bit.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He forgives, but I feel like he never really forgets. Small things, sure, but if you exchanged some harsh words he'll still think about them. He tends to yell a lot, especially when he's upset. He doesn't mean to hurt you though.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

I think he's learned to appreciate it. After he and Plumeria took Team Skull under their wing, he's recognized nice things that people do more often.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He hesitates to open up about his family life. It really just depends on hjow long you've known each other, whether the relationship is going well or not. He'd tell you if he trusted you enough. But he needs time to be ready.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You inspire him to be a better person. Well, he tries. A little harder. Plumeria very often has to get on his ass about being better to you. But he really does try.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

It depends who you're with. Team Skull? Not really. Some random person he doesn't know? Much more likely. He's not the angry type of jealous but he can get a little snippy.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He was kind of bold with it. A cheeky little grin on his face as he leaned in and gave you a peck on the lips. Then realized he just actually kissed you and got a little flustered.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

I feel like he'd do it on a dare. Somewhat begrudgingly, until you accept his confession with a smile. He doesn't regret it for a second after that.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He propose on the Hau'oli City beach at sunset. Right as the sky turned orange, he's down on a knee. (He recruited Plumeria to take pictures from a distance)

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Babe, boo, some cheesy nickname he can give you based on your name

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It's so goddamn obvious. It's what people would describe as puppy love. He cannot take his eyes off of you and he gets all giddy when you smile at him. He tries very hard to keep his tough exterior but anyone who's known him for more than a week can tell.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He shows you off all. the. time. To the point it's a bit embarrassing.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He can hop fences. And he can lift pretty decent weight.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He's kind of basic but he makes up for it with his weird personality. He's pretty goofy behind closed doors. So you two have gone on some chaotic dates, but also some more toned-down, more traditional dates. It really just depends on your mood.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Absolutely. He needs someone to believe in him, so why wouldn't he believe in you?? He recruits ALL of Team Skull to help you with whatever you need.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

I think being with Guzma is thrilling enough. Constant chaos. So yeah, in short, he's very willing to try new things.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He's like a big brother to Team Skull. The protective instincts are craaaaazy with him. He's got your back and honestly he doesn't care if you're in the wrong or not. He'll be wrong with you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Pretty damn important. If you asked him to disband Team Skull for you, he'd say no...but he'd hesitate slightly. That's how much he loves you. But Team Skull is such a special part of him too.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He will have Friday night pizza and movie every week. Most of the time it's for all of Team Skull, but there are a few times you two go into his room for a little more time alone.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

CUDDLE MONSTER. He always is hugging you in some way. And don't you even try to move away, he will hold you against him like his life depends on it.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Oh my god Plumeria BEGS you not to leave unless you have to. Guzma is already a lot to handle, and when you're gone? Oh my god he gets so whiny and pouty and she's the one that has to deal with it.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Totally. As mentioned in letter U, he really doesn't care. He'll do a lot for you.

[respectthepetty]

Pit Babe Colors Ep. 7

I'm challenging myself with this show and seeing how good my color skills really are, so I'm doing my normal thing of watching it double-speed on mute, but now, the captions are off also. It's just colors and vibes here.

If I see this necklace on Charles later, *dragging finger across throat*

There is a barrier between y'all, so I'm hoping one of you has decided to come to your senses and tell the truth to Alan and Babe. Jeffrey is seeing accidents, so Jeffrey, hopefully you are seeing the light of truth too and will confess to Alan!

I like you, Way. I like you too much knowing damn well that you are lying, but you don't seem as red as before. It looks a little hot pink-ish now. Maybe because you're sad that Babe doesn't love you.

Get hit with the blinding light of love for this Blue Boy sitting next to you who has apparently been in love with you for years according to that pink from the last episode.

Peter, I TRUST YOU! Don't do me like this! This is pink, right? RIGHT? It's pink. You're in love with Waymond, and this is pink, not red. Pink.

I'm ignoring the Gucci red watchband because the way Peter is looking at Waymond and the fact that he put blue on Waymond is all I need to know that Peter sits at the same table with Kimberly, Kenta, and Alan as the people I trust.

How long have you been in love with him, Pete? The pink already snitched on you. Just tell me! Or did you leave it on the note? That'd be too easy. But that note better have said "Hey, I just 'met' you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe?" I ship it!

Kimberly! You've been a lot less red lately. The blues are gonna need a driver soon if Jeffrey's vision is right. You should apply!

KENTA IS RIGHT THERE, KIMBERLY! Lose focus and have a consensual workplace relationship.

Wait a minute? It's Decanus and . . . there's only one man who consistently wears black, but I refuse to believe that he would meet with Decanus. No. That's another man in black. I cannot see the faces clearly, so I will not accuse *sobs* Kenta.

These two are best friends. I can tell.

AHHHH! Charles is meeting with Big Red, yet he is wearing blue! Is he being kidnapped? No. He just walked away. But now he is surrounded by blue. Charles!!!!! I know you are lying, but the blue is saying . . . something! But Big Red is listening.

Oh thank, God! Way is turning over a new leaf and committing to being a blue boy. Good.

No. NO! Barbara, I know you are upset at Charles for lying (which your super spidey senses should have alerted you about because the red was there), but why do you keep doing this to Way? He was committed to the blue! Pete likes him. Stop!

NO, WAYMOND, NO! JUST LET BABE BE SAD AND MISERABLE. DON'T DO IT!

Tell him to get his hands off of you, Barbie! That's how they keep getting you! Do not fall for his bullshit!

Is this story about Charlie?! OH SHIT! *telenovela fall to the floor*

I don't want you to get slapped, Kentana, but there is only one man who wears black consistently, and that's you. You ARE planning something with Decanus, aren't you?! Do. Not. Hurt. Barbie. I trust you!

Oh shit! Barbie is realizing it's the touches! I tried to warn you, homie. I did. I said, "Barbie, don't let them touch you!" Now, figure out that Waymond keeps touching you too. Don't get dickmatized again. I need you to stay focused! BARBIE, FOCUS! Waymond. Superpowers. Punch them!

Barbara, the dick is not that good for you to forgive him already! Barbara, I'm so mad at you right now. I'm only rooting for Kimberly and Alan now. You and Kentana are on my shit list.

Did the note from Peter ask for a date?! Waymond, horrible choice of red roses with a red ribbon for a date with Peter or . . . is this your villain era? No! This is a date with Peter! *dances happily*

I mean this from the depth of my soul - Whatever happens now, you're on your own, Barbara. You figured out what Charles was doing to you, and you are just cool with it? I know he, too, had a crappy childhood, but he did all that without your consent, and you're okay with it? The red is still there! He just took from you something you can't get back, without your consent. This is metaphorical, and I wish you, a fictional character, could see that.

Did Peter really not show up for y'alls date?! Did something happen to Pete?! WHERE IS HE?! Did Big Red kidnap him?! Wait, Peter can text but not show up for a date? I don't believe it.

I'm gonna break my own rule, and translate the text messages because I have no colors to guide me, and I'm very confused why Peter would not show up when he has been in love with Waymond for awhile. The colors don't lie. Peter would show up!

Google Translate: "Sorry, I just finished clearing things up with Charlie" Wait a minute. Charlie? Was Waymond texting Babe because he was sad Peter didn't show up for dinner? This still doesn't make sense.

Or . . . Waymond's at his and Babe's restaurant, and Babe said "sorry." It wasn't a date with Peter was it? This was a date with . . . oh, you have to be shitting me. PETER IS RIGHT THERE IN LOVE WITH YOU, PENDEJO!

I'm in no mood for North and Sonic's color shenanigans. I'm too pissed off to even yell at Sonic for wearing red over the blue. Whatever. Be a back-stabber too. No me importa.

WHAT THE FUCK?! NOT KIMBERLY!

If anything happens to Kimberly, I'm burning down this whole site! He's a good one! Kentana, you better get your shit together and save your man! If Kentana and Barbara save Kimberly, I'll take them off my shit list. Even Charles will get some leeway.

Whiny Winifred, why are you pointing a gun at . . . SONIC AND NORTH?! I know I wrote I didn't care about y'all earlier, but I do! Y'all can't die until I figure out what the deal is with y'alls colors!

Barbara is wearing the same outfit in the previews that he is wearing when he punches people in the hallway!

Mission: Save Kim Possible!

[beanghostprincess]

I just thought of this so you have to, too.

Buggy being genderfluid but the Roger crew not really giving a flying fuck about it. Who cares how you dress so long as you're still you? Yeah, sure, go apeshit, just be loyal, strong, etc. You're one of Us and your pants or lack thereof doesn't impact that.

The crew disbands.

Shanks and Buggy get smth of a culture shock once they are no longer in that protective bubble. Buggy is getting hateful looks, comments, snide remarks. Shanks is at his side, completely taken aback and honestly pretty pissed. Buggy, on more Femme days, faces more animosity, misogyny, and it's astounding to the former apprentices who different men and women are treated. And if you can't tell by a glance, people can get so upset?? What the hell????

Buggy refuses to be anything but themself/himself/herself, depending on the day and vibe. Shanks refuses to comply with this newfound social expectation to be rude and mean for no reason to innocent people.

The Grandline is the most progressive of the seas, due in part to the natural insanity it breeds. The Blues aren't as open, but the East is the more chill of the four. Buggy chooses there for many reasons, but the Big Top and crew is open to any sea. There's an information network, smuggling division, crowdsourcing area, etc.

Shanks will drop tips at places he visits for Buggy to get a foothold if they don't already exist, and Buggy will drop tips for Shanks regarding pertinent information for adventures, expectations, and etiquette.

It's a good dynamic. They go for years like this.

Buggy's stint in Impel Down was.... not fun. Aside from the misgendering, general torture and absolutely overwhelming energy there, it was stifling.

Marineford was a hot mess, but by the end, Shanks offers Buggy a ride to the Big Top's docked location, and on board, he just leads Buggy to this little chest in his cabin. Says, "here, take your pick. You wear whatever is most comfortable for you." There's a dress or two, a few skirts, tops, pants, shirts, and while most of it is in different sizes, there's belts and loops. Buggy bites back tears when they find their old skirt. They'd left that one on the Oro. How did Shanks even get this??

The time skip goes down, and by the time Cross Guild is running, Buggy has had to decide between masquerading as a Cis person or just... being themself. One morning, they wake up and everything feels too TIGHT, too STIFF, too much and she's left eying her leotard, half skirt and thigh highs.

...

Well. If she dies, might as well die authentic.

Crocodile and Mihawk nearly do a spit take when she struts out of her tent or into the announcement hall. She is a bit nervous by this, but she has COMMITTED.

It... also helps that so many of her men are singing her praises and Ritchie is bouncing happily, Mohji and Cabaji are smiling, Alvida is giving an approving nod-

She's happy. She's not going to let fear rule her, even if she can feel the gazes of two very powerful men tracking her every breath.

((They're not mad, they're fighting every urge to swoop her into a kiss and maybe more, but also the fact that WHO GAVE THE CLOWN THE RIGHT TO BE SO HOT??? IT WAS BAD ENOUGH BEFORE, NOW THIS????? they're not good at flirting, they cannot HANDLE this-))

I adore this. Buggy being genderfluid is actually so important to me as a genderfluid person-- My beloved. The concept of cold reality suddenly hitting them both (because they were so, so supportive back at the Oro Jackson) when the crew disbands is so good. Shanks is extremely protective of them when that happens, refusing to let anybody talk shit about Buggy. It's just so sweet of him. Tbh, it hurts so much to think about Buggy having to hide that part of himself,,, But then they come out to Mihawk and Crocodile and it's not only that they support them but they also absolutely love them. These two men are having a whole crisis over a clown again (as usual). But yeah, it's actually really sweet to see Buggy finally being free with them in that way,, Thinking thoughts about Crocodile going full mafioso with money and buying Buggy all the clothes she wants (he does it more for himself and Mihawk but yeah).

[magicalmanhattanproject]

okay im insane in the head again time for more 2b2t worldbuilding

so a way long time ago now, baghera and fit had a conversation where baghera said she didn't know who the good guys and bad guys are anymore and fit just sort of agreed with her. using my massive genius brain that knows fit's cubito better than fit himself does, i have deduced that he was lying

the idea of "good guys" and "bad guys" isn't something that 2b2t puts much stock in. it doesn't hold much weight in a world where the whole point is that it's every man for himself and griefers and hackers have free reign.

instead, interpersonal relationships function on a simple matrix. are you with me or are you against me? can i trust you or not? that's how you decide who to break bread with, who to let into your base, who to fight alongside and who to stab in the back

first question you may have: how do you figure out who you can trust? well, that's the million dollar question, isn't it? the way fit explains it, it depends mostly on what you need to trust them for. take fit himself. he's a pretty standup guy, by 2b2t standards. he's a straight shooter, for hte most part. doesn't backstab much (it doesn't count if you have good reason to think they'd backstab you first, by the way). everyone on 2b2t knows he'll take your secrets to your grave if you ask him to. everyone knows he won't take them any farther than that. what can he say? he likes the fofoca

if you want a guy who can tell your story to the world and make sure you aren't forgotten in the writhing sea of chaos, he's your guy. if you want someone who will never breathe a word of it, he's really not.

consistency is king in the world of chaos "sure, i betrayed him, but i'd never betray you" is the sort of line to get you betrayed first. you either split your loyalties between a bunch of warring factions and hope they never go to war (they will) or you put all your eggs in one basket while the farmer is having a mental break and throwing egg baskets out of the truck at random. or you do what fit does and eschew strength in numbers entirely and dangle yourself like a juicy steak in front of every roving band waiting to prey on lone travelers

you do what fit does and get good at cutting your losses and going to ground

these are the facts: you are being watched. you cannot shake your pursuers. there is no strength to be found in numbers. there is no safety to be found alone. there is no such thing as an ally

these are the facts: if you name a mob, it will die. if you don't name a mob, it will die anyway.

these are the facts: your son, your beautiful boy made in heaven by god himself, only got two things from spreen. a (pretty nice, to be fair) basement roller coaster and a name.

these are the facts: you are not strong enough to keep ramón alive on your own. you are not strong enough to let him die.

these are the facts: if you place a block at your feet, an end crystal won't do enough damage to kill you. this fact will save your life. it won't save your arm as the lavacast topples down on you.

these are the facts: cutting yourself free from the rubble will hurt. it is human nature to avoid pain. you hope that if you wait long enough, someone will come along and save you.

these are the facts: no one will.

the way things work on 2b2t, fit will tell anyone who cares to listen, is that you always trust that people will be untrustworthy. everyone is a traitor and a backstabber and everyone knows it. you don't have to bother trying to figure out who's a good guy or a bad guy.

[lloydfrontera]

i don't buy that lloyd would get over his fear of the restoration of fate that quickly. he was doomed by the narrative for years and now he's supposed to shake it off in less than two weeks? absolutely not, he literally tried to kill himself in order to avoid it, ain't no fucking way he just stopped being scared about it in a couple days i don't believe it

anyway. this is my way of saying that lloyd refused to cross dimensions until he made javier swear that he would kill him with his own hands if there was even a hint of the restoration of fate starting up again. he wouldn't consider going back if it meant putting his family and home in danger again even if it meant being left behind in a place he would've rather died than stay at.

and they both know that javier would fall on his own sword before hurting lloyd but they also know lloyd would take his own life before allowing him to do that or to let his existence put his loved ones in danger again. they know lloyd doesn't really need javier to kill himself, not if he's really committed to it. he's done it before it after all.

him asking javier this is. a warning. of what he's planning to do if the restoration of fate starts again. it's his way of telling javier that he cannot promise things will be okay if he comes back. that he must be ready to lose lloyd again if necessary because lloyd won't allow anything else.

it's also maybe... an indulgence on lloyd's part. he's felt himself die so many times now. and so many of his deaths were painful or terrifying or surrounded by his enemies and sometimes all three at once.

but he remembers a sunset, a coat over his shoulders, shaky yet reliable hands holding a sword. a quick, peaceful death on his own terms, done by someone lloyd trusted with something far more important than his life.

and he knows it's selfish, he knows it's cruel, but if he has to die, for real this time, can't it be at the hands of his best friend? if he has to be killed, can't it be done by someone lloyd knows cares for him? if he has to close his eyes and never open them again, can't the last thing he ever sees be the face of the person he loves enough to die for as many times as necessary?

and javier agrees because. what else can he do. he spent so long hoping lloyd would finally trust him enough to tell him what he was planning so javier could help him in anyway he was able to and now. now lloyd is asking this of him.

he desperately doesn't want to say 'yes'. but he cannot say 'no'.

what else can he do.

what's the point of being the most powerful human on the world if he can't even protect the one person he swore to protect above all things. what's the point of him if the only thing he can do is promise to kill his best friend because he has no other way to protect everything they've worked for.

how can he promise lloyd that everything will be okay, that things will work out, that if needed javier will die for him before letting anything happen to him, when he already failed before.

what else can he do

anyway. i don't think any amount of end spoilers and confessions to the jewel of truth are enough to soothe the terrified, paranoid and utterly traumatized part inside lloyd's chest that goes tight any time anything goes even remotely wrong for a good while. it takes a couple months, maybe a few years even, before lloyd stops going cold every time there's even a hint of trouble around him. before he stops reflexively looking to javier's sword to calm himself down whenever things don't go perfectly right in every way.

it takes a while. but it does happen. and things aren't perfect, that's not how life works, but they're good and even when they aren't, lloyd can finally face them and believe they're not his fault. that his existence is not an obstacle for the happiness of the people he loves.

[angelbvnny]

Genshin characters when you've had a hard day

Gn!Reader, sfw, slight angst(?) to comfort

Tartaglia, Wanderer, Thoma

Today has just not been your day. It's late, you have piles of work to do, and your head is killing you. Your mind is fuzzy with all the thoughts racing inside. Everything is incredibly annoying and you have little to no patience left for anything. "Finally home" you think as you approach your doorstep, unlocking the door and heading inside. Your boyfriend is sitting on the couch and you head straight for him plopping yourself on top of him, laying your head on his lap...

Tartaglia

He will coo and coddle you in a teasing manner but when u respond with nothing but a light groan his mood changes. What's wrong? Did someone hurt you? Who does he need to hurt? He's not used to comforting people, his mind is racing trying to figure out what to do. But it all comes to a halt when he hears a little sniffle from below him.

You turn over so you're now facing up towards him. Tears welling up from your eyes, and his heart breaks. In a swift motion he picks you up and lays you down on top of him, pulling you to his chest. Tartaglia is no good with words, so instead he speaks in actions. He loves you so much, he would do anything for you to smile. It hurts him so much to see his beloved so upset. So he holds you. He holds you in hope that you understand what he wants so badly to say but simply cannot articulate.

Laying in his arms you feel yourself start to relax. He's so warm, and his heart beat is so soothing. Slowly all the worries of the day fade and all you're left with is contentment. Although the tears do not let up, they are not coming out for the same reason. They're from relief. Relieved that you are back in your boyfriends arms. The lump in your throat is finally gone and you're able to speak. "Thank you Ajax." And you feel the arms around you hug tighter.

Wanderer

He has no idea how to react. But his automatic response is to make a snarky comment. "Aww is someone in a bad mood?" He waits for a quick comeback, but that never comes. You just silently lay there, facing away from him. "What gives?" He turns you so he can see your face and he freezes. You were crying, or almost crying, you were trying your best to hold it in. But as soon as your gazes met you broke down.

The wanderer has a whirlwind of emotions flood over him. It has been a long time since he last cared about someone else's feelings. It's a foreign feeling and he doesn't like it. How can he make you happy? Make you smile? Stop this horrible dread he feels seeing you in such a state. So he pulls you close, your head now laying on his shoulder as his arms are wrapped around you, chest to chest.

Intimacy is still a bit awkward for him but he continues to hold you nonetheless. The pressure against your chest and back is comforting, and your tears start to let up. You're finally home, finally in your boyfriends arms. The two of you sit in comfortable silence before he speaks up "I don't like it when you cry." A simple sentence to reassure you that he does, deeply love you.

Thoma

He'll immediately ask if you're okay, if you're hurt? Sick? You attempt to tell him about the very long day you've had but between the whines and sniffles you aren't really able to get it out. "It's okay, we can talk about it later. For now, stay right here." He get's up from his spot, laying you down on the couch. A little whine escaping you as he leaves.

He's in the kitchen for awhile and right as you were getting impatient he came back in. He had prepared you a bowl of your favorite soup! He sets it in front of you, sitting next to you on the couch. You quickly begin to eat it. It's so warm and is made just the way you like it. You can tell that thought went into making this dish. Thoma always remembers even the littlest details. You can feel the tears going away, his hand on your back, gently rubbing up and down.

"How does a hot bath sound, hm?" He gets up, holding your hand, leading you to the bathtub. He prepares the bath for you. It's so soothing and all the tension you had been holding was released. When you get out he dries your hair, brushing it gently, making sure not to hurt you. He shows his love through actions, and all he wishes is that you know how much he cares, and how much he wants you to feel better. You turn around and pull him into an embrace "I love you Thoma." Relieved to know that you understand, he hugs back.

[kittyplanchett3]

In a group setting how would someone know if brainwashing play was bad or not? How can you tell if the brainwashing play is abusive or unsafe?

I've been waiting to answer this one cuz it's taken me awhile to type it up. This is a long one. cw: mentions of abuse/manipulation in the context of coersive control/coersive persuasion and both kinky and abusive brainwashing

The use of the word simulate below (in regards to brainwashing) is intentional as there is no way to truly brainwash someone that doesn't involve abusive coersive control and the non-consentual manipulation/subversion of someones core values and boundaries in ways that aren't sexy or fun. Actual (non-kinky/real) brainwashing and consentual kink are incompatible. With that said, you can definitely simulate brainwashing safety in kink scenes. Hopefully what I wrote out will help you figure out where things land <3

The answer:

As y'all know I was in a cult that did involve legitimate abusive mind control techniques that larger cults often use and people frequently ask me the difference between consensual brainwashing/mind control in safe & consensual hypno fantasies/scenes vs abusive brainwashing/mind control/persuasive coercion in abusive dynamics & cults. After experiencing both, I would say the best way to tell is by comparing your situation with scenarios that I've listed below. Obviously this can vary based on the type of play you are engaging in but if you find a few things to be true, I would def be careful.

- you might actually be in an abusive situation if you can't ever hit pause during play, safeword, or discuss the nature of your play with your tist outside of scenes and if there was never discussion about this aspect of the dynamic before engaging in that play. if you tist makes you feel bad about asserting a limit or boundary or changes how they show you attention/communication/shame to punish you for asserting yourself or challenging them esp out of scenes without any negotiation/discussion that's ofc a red flag.

in situations that involve cult like abusive brainwashing, the work rly begins once you have reached a limit so the person would want to bring you to a breaking point, then keep you there and actively surpass it. if this doesn't sound fun, it's not. if it sounds fun, you probably aren't realizing this usually involves limits you have that you cannot sexualize. a good chunk of abusive brainwashing will focus on things you have no interest in doing and that you don't find sexy or fun. in extreme situations this could include things that are disfiguring, or that could ruin or risk your or someone else's life.

- someone assuming you are okay with anything or making you feel like you should be in order to be a good sub is never a good thing when you consider what anything could mean to some people. i know a lot of people enjoy being like "I have no limits" but most people have a list of limits if you bring up situations like bodily disfigurement, theft of money or things that could put their housing/freedom/life at risk...it's important to remember these things don't matter to someone who doesn't care about hurting you.

- you might actually be in an abusive situation if there is no room to challenge or disagree with your tist in and especially out of scenes. emphasis on this if this aspect of the dynamic was never negotiated or talked about before. even in 24/7 dynamics, these things are generally discussed. if your tist expects complete obedience from day one and there has never been space to talk about what that means or your limits/goals etc thats generally not a great sign. if your tist tries to tell you that's what brainwashing entails, i would run cuz they aren't completely lying but that also means your safety, goals and happiness won't matter to them. if you say you are struggling with an aspect of the play and they push it harder, that can be hot in some dynamics but also that's kind of a red flag if they push harder on those things without first sitting you down to ask you about what you mean that you are struggling with a particular thing.

- in abusive dynamics/cults that use persuasive coercion, your goals/boundaries/limits etc don't actually matter and often times these things will be actively weaponized and used against you to break you. if a dominant is constantly testing limits/boundaries without discussion/negotiation or is actively violating your hard limits/boundaries.

- if your tist ONLY seems interested in the things you have clearly stated that don't want to do/have no interest in exploring/explaining things you normally consent to when you aren't in the mood to engage with those things...that's such a fucking red flag. with actual brainwashing your goal for the play doesn't actually matter and your tist is likely to start pushing you towards something you aren't actually that interested in, often using your disinterest/push back as an example of why you haven't reached the actual goal you are attempting to attain. self sacrifice is a theme in abusive brainwashing but you don't get a choice about what parts are sacrificed...which can be hot in theory until you realize you don't get any say or input and the control extends to all of your other relationships. this might start off looking like limit testing disguised as a joke.

**note: limit testing can start out seeming harmless but essentially that's only to groom you to be comfortable with having your limits/boundaries tested in bigger ways. this might look like a dominant telling you to try to eat a food you don't want to try or even a dominant buying you something you told them you didn't want them to buy you. some things they push you to do may seem ultimately beneficial as well which can make this confusing if it's happening at it may not seem as much of a red flag in the moment especially if some of the things they are pushing end up being good experiences. the problem is how this changes over time and often leads to them testing you in ways that aren't at all fun or beneficial. the reason I mentioned gifts is buying you something that you told them not to buy you/sending you money you told them not to send you is often a way to test how you respond to control/limits because it can be written off as a good faith judgment mistake/they can play it off like they didn't have bad intentions if confronted. 

- in a healthy scene or dynamic where mind control/brainwashing is simulated either in a scene or over time ultimately the sub will still always be in control and that loss of control will be simulated safely. hard limits will still be respected and there is always space made to negotiate or pause/stop a scene. the focus will be on something the sub ultimately has set as a goal/has agreed upon. in abusive situations what a sub wants/their goals don't matter, their limits don't matter, their feelings won't matter, and their safety won't matter. in an abusive situation, a lot of play slowly turns from something that aligns with the subs goals to something that aligns with the dominants goals/turns into straight up abuse/assault/sa.

- if more than one kinky friend approaches you concerned about how you changed or the safety of your play, huge red flag. when you are being brainwashed in an abusive situation everything is so normalized that it's hard to see the abuse. trust your besties. trust your other partners. trust the people who have nothing to gain from confronting you about their concerns.

With all of that said, with actual abusive brainwashing, it's all about overhauling your limits and boundaries and getting you comfortable being very uncomfortable all the time. In any brainwashing scene, you are likely to feel overwhelmed, destabilized, unsafe, afraid etc but those are feelings people often want to feel in a kink scene so it can be hard to put your finger on when things might be crossing a line. I hope this helps the anon/someone gain some clarity.

When I was in the cult I was in, I was convinced over time that I needed to be more comfortable being uncomfortable and that my limits were self-limiting, that the person abusing me knew my limits better than I did, and that I should default to him for what those limits are. This can be hot in theory, but I promise you the reality is super unsexy when the person who is doing this doesn't actually care about your life, safety, relationships, goals, or well-being.

[cousmemes]

dialogue starters from DOCTOR WHO SEASON 9. feel free to edit for context / continues under the cut.

"Why do you always assume I'm lying?"

"An enemy's just a friend you don't really know yet."

"Wherever you go, there are people who care enough to find you."

"Anyone can hide from an enemy. No one from a friend."

"I did something wrong. I let somebody down when I should have been brave enough and strong enough to do better."

"You do realise you're still an idiot."

"Are you any good with a broadsword?"

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Just don't run."

"He doesn't know we're here, does he?"

"When do I not see you?"

"Nobody dies here. Not one person, not one of my friends, do you understand?"

"You want to know how dangerous I am?"

"Is that supposed to frighten me?"

"If she is really dead, then you'd better be very, very careful how you tell me."

"What am I even looking for?"

"They don't have much respect for you, do they?"

"I'm so glad you didn't have to see that."

"I'm your friend. I'm your friend!"

"You know what? I've just had a very clever idea."

"How long do you think it's been down here?"

"What's wrong? You're not happy. Why aren't you happy? Tell me."

"Wait, wait. I don't think they're going to hurt us."

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Do you know what you need? You need a hobby."

"Where have you been? Everyone's been looking for you."

"We're coming back, aren't we?"

"I'm fine, by the way, in case you were worried."

"We need to get there. It's our only way out."

"You're sure they're not going to hurt us?"

"You seem to know an awful lot about me."

"I'm asking what I should say to you."

"I'm not ready yet. I don't want to think about that. Not yet."

"You didn't try very hard to stop her, though, did you?"

"You can't cheat time."

"No one is coming to save you."

"You're always talking about what you can and can't do but you never tell me the rules."

"We're time travellers. We tread softly. It's okay to make ripples, but not tidal waves."

"I had a dream you'd all died. It was so real, I thought I'd made it happen."

"There's nothing to fear, strange maiden."

"What's the one thing that gods never do? Gods never actually show up!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you afraid."

"I have no reason to fear you."

"Not every misfortune that befalls us is down to you."

"We're not cowards. We do not run."

"Stay. You could help us. I know you could."

"A good death? Is that the best we can hope for?"

"I've got a hobby, thanks. It's you, by the way."

"Every time we do something like this, I keep thinking, what if something happens to you?"

"What do you think our chances are tomorrow?"

"I cannot keep you safe. I do not have the strength. But I will try to till the last beat of my heart."

"I'm sick of losing people."

"Look at you, with your eyes, and your never giving up, and your anger, and your kindness."

"One day, the memory of that will hurt so much that I won't be able to breathe."

"I do it for the adventure. Isn't that what life's all about?"

"Now is not the time to be showing off."

"How many people have you lost?"

"Why should I be responsible for you?"

"You're not like this. I know you're not."

"This is what you made of me."

"Did you miss me?"

"What's going on here? Fun and games?"

"I'm a friend. I've come to help."

"Don't do this. You know it's me. Don't let them trick you."

"I love you. I forgive you and I love you."

"You're talking nonsense to distract me from being really scared."

"You see, that's the problem. I am a brilliant liar. How are you ever going to know?"

"So, you must have thought I was dead for a while. How was that?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding? Is this a kidding face?"

"Is that your answer for everything?"

"Oh, admit it. I totally saved your life."

"What were you doing last night?"

"There is no nice way to say you're about to die."

"You enjoyed that way too much."

"You were upset, weren't you?"

"They look at me as if they want to kill me themselves."

"I did this to save you, you silly thing."

"Why do they always run?"

"So this is your life, then? Just bouncing around saving people?"

"Oh, she is the worst. I love her. Take that how you like."

"I swear, I never meant for anyone to get hurt."

"What were you thinking? Sacrificing yourself?"

"I can do whatever the hell I like."

"You've read the stories. You know who I am. In all of that time, did you ever hear anything about anyone who stopped me?"

"I did this, do you hear me? I did this. This is my fault."

"Listen, if this is the last I ever see of you, please, not like this."

"No. This - This isn't happening. This can't be happening."

"Why can't I be like you?"

"You're going to be alone now and you're very bad at that."

"Don't let this change you."

"Don't go. Stay with me."

"This is as brave as I know how to be."

"I know it's going to hurt you but, please, be a little proud of me."

"I can't keep doing this. I can't! I can't always do this! It's not fair!"

"You are not the only person who ever lost someone. It's the story of everybody. Get over it."

"Nothing's sad until it's over. Then everything is."

"Is this a story or did this really happen?"

"Isn't this going a little far?"

"I'll try not to break your jaw."

"Please, I don't want this."

"Look at me again. In the eye. Look at me. Just do it."

"Tell me what they did to you."

"People like me and you, we should say things to one another."

"You really are thick, aren't you?"

"You don't seem surprised to see me."

"I'm trying to keep you safe."

"Nobody's ever safe. I've never asked you for that. Ever."

"These have been the best years of my life and they are mine."

"So what happens now? Hey? Me and you, what do we do now?"

"Why don't we just fly away somewhere?"

"I don't think I could ever forget you."

"No. Stop it. You're saying goodbye. Don't say goodbye!"

"Run like hell, because you always need to. Laugh at everything, because it's always funny. Never be cruel and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends."

"I didn't mean to do this. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Why does everybody think I am so scared?"