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#dont mind me im just having A Day right now
yourecitten · 14 hours
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Appearance change
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Alright so , a lot of u asking me in my dms how to manifest appearance change? Well , just like u manifest everything babe , u assume that it's yours;) but okey imma give u my whole opinion of this. So there's diet culture right? What do you think why are people losing weight ? No not because they eat healthy and work out whatever.... ITS BECAUSE THEY ASSUME THAT IF THEY DO THIS AND THAT THEY WILL GET THEY DREAM BODY. What do you think why for example, gua sha is sooo popular right now? I dont know eiter. Some people say it worked for them , changed they face shape etc and others say that it is a complete bullshit. Well let me tell you IF YOU ASSUME IT WORK IT WORK IF YOU DONT IT WONT WORK. its so simple so why would u do all of these things now that u know that your assumptions YOUR MIND control the 3d. You can do this so easily u just know that you got that dream body , that face shape, u have dif eye color etc... you really dont need to do anything in the 3d to get it. you can make this fun with techniques also ;) i really like sleeping to subs instead of working out. I like telling myself that i changed a lot physically and had several glow ups. i try not to think negative about my appearance because whats the point?? I can change anything i dislike about myself. my face amd body changed a lot over the years depending on my belief. Now im just having fun with my silly little subliminals and affirmation amd changing my look day by day.
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awrkive · 2 days
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r we getting tlp3 anytime soon 😖😖😖
anon asked: Could you please give us a little tiny spoiler about tlp pt.3?🥹🫶🏻
hi first anon! no i dont think i can give u guys a date yet. im actually currently joining an architectural competition at uni so thats keeping me a bit busier than usual, but i am writing tlp 3 during my breaks so ... thats that. ANYWHO. i will make sure to update u guys when its ready to be out!
anyways, to second anon. a tiny spoiler under the cut proceed if u wanna.. 🤓
You’re pretty much drained the moment you arrive at your place.
Sighing heavily, you punch in the passcode and almost feel your knees buckling at the sight of the interior of your apartment when the door opens.
It feels like it’s been so long since you’ve been here, and coupled with the discussion that you had with Doyeon two days ago, everything suddenly feels overstimulating and there’s a certain burn at the sides of your eyes that urges you to cry. 
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you breathe in and out as you enter the threshold, noting the fact that anybody is not home. Or Jungkook isn’t present anywhere in the living room. You’re a bit grateful for that if you have to be honest to yourself – after all, the last time that you talked to him, it did not exactly go as well as you’d like. 
He could be in his room, though. That’s what you assume as you go straight over to the kitchen in hopes to heat up the take-out that you bought at the driveway. But the to-go container from Chipotle at the island catches your attention, as well as the laptop that is left open beside it. 
So Jungkook is home. 
The question is, where could he possibly be, leaving out his stuff here in the kitchen? Might be in his bedroom to grab something real quick? 
You don’t mean to do the next thing that comes to your mind, but your feet – your stupid feet – track back from the microwave to the island, and your eyes betray you as they go look and read the words on Jungkook’s macbook. 
The tab that's left open shows an apartment listing website, and the following tabs beside it are some familiar real-estate names you’ve come to visit on the internet before when you were looking for a place yourself.
It makes you freeze in your spot, eyes glued to the daunting images of the apartment layout that Jungkook must’ve clicked on awhile ago, and you take note that he’s seemingly, specifically, looking for one-bedroom and studio apartments. 
Your mind goes into a sudden haywire at the sight. 
What does this mean? 
“Oh, hey,”
The embodied voice makes your head snap to its direction, and you see Jungkook standing in front of you in his sweats and shirt – his usual home clothes – with a charger in his hand. 
“Jungkook.” You say, or more like, breathe out. There's a heavy feeling that sits in your heart when you look at his face – but most of all, it beats a little above normal.
But Jungkook looks just as surprised as you. 
“I… I didn’t know you’re coming ho– back.” He says, and you feel a sudden twinge inside that you ignore when you caught him pointedly avoiding the word home when pertaining to your place. Somehow, it felt intentional.
But you give him a smile. Probably a weak one. Probably doesn’t really look like a smile at all and more like a grimace.
If Jungkook notices, he doesn’t say anything. Just goes straight to the direction of the high chairs on the island and plug in his charger on his laptop. 
Then, he turns to look at you. “Uh.. you just got off from your shift?” 
“Uhm, yeah. You too?” You say, nibbling your bottom lip with your teeth. A nervous habit. 
“Nah, got off a few hours ago.” 
“Oh. Okay.” 
“Yeah.” 
You nod your head. You stand there for a while, letting the silence that’s admittedly awkward hang in the air. 
It’s weird, really. Jungkook and you usually have a lot to say to each other – but right now, there doesn’t seem to be a single thing that you can bring up.
There's a certain kind of melancholy in the case. 
“Well, uhm. That’s Zillow.” You say, pointing to his laptop. The moment the words left your lips you swear you could have slapped yourself. 
How stupid to ask him about it. How incredibly stupid for that thing to be your choice of topic after weeks of no proper communication with him. 
Jungkook seems just as taken aback by this, though, turning his head immediately to look at his laptop. There’s a slight jerk in his movements when he glides his fingers across the trackpad that closes the entire window of the internet and shows his PC wallpaper instead. 
“Oh. Yeah. That was… Zillow.” 
Stupid, stupid you makes everything even more awkward when you say, “You’re looking for a place?” 
Jungkook stares at you for awhile. There’s a pregnant pause, and then he nods his head. A bit hesitant. But his voice is full when he speaks. 
“Yeah.” 
So he’s moving out. That’s what you think as you avoid looking at his face, letting your gaze fall back on his laptop.
You give him a small smile. 
“Ah. Good luck with the search, then.”
Your hope you hide the way your heart completely breaks when you say the words. 
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hinamie · 2 months
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色彩 [Shikisai]
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#yuuji#finally...some not angst.....#im worried out of my mind fr these two right abt now but we cope we cope :)#i woke up early n rushed to render this bc im leaving 2 catsit today n wont b able to spend every waking hour drawing like i have been#almost uploaded it without rendering megumi's ear and frgetting the sukuna scars so im sure ill find something i missed once i hit post smh#this pose fought me also >:( sighs why when i try to do not angst they do not want to cooperate . do they prefer being hurt#anyway !!!#i dont think any1 Listens when ppl put song links in the caption but if anyone is curious ! colours/shikisai galileo galilei#SO themcore im unwell i say that a lot but i mean it every time#speaking of colours i Love how these turned out but they ended up being a lot more cohesive than i intended GKHSDFK#wanted to have yuuji in warm and megumi in cold but that appears to have blended everywhere but their uniforms Oops#sighs these 2 and their sun/moon imagery r my cause of death. i die thinking abt it#resisted the urge 2 have a lmhs caption but let it b known. i amn Thinking it.#anyway i say ill b away from my drawing tablet but i fully plan 2 uber home one of the days so i can draw#i cant b slacking now the itfs reunion is nigh and i feel nauseous abt it i need to channel the nervous energy#have sketches.......just in case....but we dont Talk abt just in case >:(#itfs nation hold strong <3
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choccy-milky · 2 months
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Their kids are so cute omg i'm gonna dir of adorableness
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lewis: then die LMFAOO NO BUT FRR THANK UU IM GLAD U THINK SO🥹🥹💖💖💖all the love for them (esp lewis) gave me the idea to draw him deflecting all the attention so ty for giving me the excuse to post it....we luv our aloof distant boi🥰
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its funny bc i was JUST talking about this recently, but i dont like pet names at all BAHAH, hence why seb and clora dont call each other anything, not even nicknames.... seb calls her the light/princess/a bird sometimes as playful and teasing jokes, but doesnt actually address her like that. and clora always calls sebastian by his full name as well, bc i was basing her dialogue/my writing off the game dialogue...bc for as close as anne and ominis are to seb, both of THEM call him sebastian in full, so maybe it was a victorian thing that nicknames werent really common? plus clora's so proper that it just feels like its in her personality to always call seb "sebastian"... i feel like if she ever DID call him "seb" he'd do a double take and be like ...HUH? who are you???......are you polyjuiced? LMAO. i do imagine seb calling clora "love" when they get older tho (not in hogwarts) bc i like how simple it is, and imagining him saying stuff like 'careful, love' makes me🫠🫠🫠🫠
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aw TYY💖💖 honestly i didnt give the victorian setting TOO much thought, other than making clora more modest/not used to wearing trousers etc. like the actual victorian courting process was that youd ALWAYS be chaperoned by at least 1 other person and you wouldnt be able to kiss or anything, so the fact that our mcs are in a co-ed school with free reign already ruins that, so i wouldnt worry too much about it. a lot of it you can just wave off with the excuse that wizard society is more advanced than muggle society, which is true anyway LOL. i just kept the parts that i thought were fun/made it feel victorian ENOUGH but got rid of the stuff that was too annoying (one big example being the amount of clothing they wear....i said it in the notes for one of my chapters, but i wasnt about to make seb go through like 5 different layers just to touch cloras titty LMFAO) and no i didnt have 1 specific website i used, id just google "blank in victorian times" and look through all the articles and resources i could on that subject, and take little bits of it. SO YEA i wouldnt worry about it too much, just take what you want if you think it could enrich your story, and leave stuff out if its annoying to deal with BHAHA. and GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR WRITING!!💖💖
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BAHAHA yeah sebs bark was defs bigger than his bite when it came to actually having kids/getting clora pregnant LOL. he defs loves the pregnancy part, but i feel like seeing her go through the actual labour was super hard on him/made him feel guilty bc he hates to see her in pain, let alone bc of HIM. not to mention that i imagine he would still work even once they have kids, so to leave clora with like 6 kids by herself isnt something he would have wanted to do LOL. once both lewis and celeste are in hogwarts tho i actually imagine seb and clora still doing curse breaking as well (albeit less dangerous jobs/not as far away) BUT YES having a third kid that looks like seb and is sassy like anne would be SO CUTEEE...a happy accident is a good idea too, tho i kinda like the idea of it being cloras idea.....like, she gets baby fever again now that the kids are kinda growing up and sebs like no i dont wanna put u through that again... but obvs seb wouldnt be able to resist if clora was begging seb to put a baby in her LMFAOOO its already as good as done at that point😇😇 AND THANK YOU, and im glad you liked it!!!🥹💖💖💖
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@the-kcm-muggleborn AWWW ur right thats so pretty.....ty for showing me!!🥹and im glad it make you think of clora...SHE WOULD APPROVE OF THESE STUDIES👌⭐🌙
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arcanegifs · 6 months
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skunkes · 4 months
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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liquidstar · 6 months
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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infizero · 5 months
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hehehehehehehe
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jrueships · 2 months
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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hirazuki · 3 months
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Hira's year in medical review:
Me, August 2023: *experiencing extreme fatigue, fainting spells, mood swings, sudden and drastic increase of suicidal thoughts, and intense hair loss*
P.A: let's do blood work
Me: ok!
Bloodwork: *normal except for prolactin*
Doctor: sometimes that's a fluke so let's retest
Me: ok
Bloodwork: *exactly the same*
Doctor: your values are higher than normal range, but not high enough to be in range for a pituitary gland tumor.
(P.A: go see an endocrinologist and get an MRI, that might be indicative of a pituitary gland tumor.) <- bless this person and only this person in particular
Endocrinologist, seen earliest available which was January 2024: *wants to retest blood work instead of ordering an MRI*
Me: ... ok
Bloodwork: *the same*
Me: can we please do an MRI now?
Endocrinologist: Well. Your values are above the normal limit, but it's highly unlikely that's it's a pituitary gland tumor because they are not high enough for that. Let's retest blood work in four months.
Me: ...................... ok
Bloodwork, May 2024: *THE SAME*
Endocrinologist: hmm, I recommend an MRI
Me: *gesturing angrily*
MRI, June 2024: 🎉 pituitary gland tumor 🎉
Doctor, when I went in for something else: I doubt your endocrinologist will want to treat that, we typically don't treat adenomas that small
Endocrinologist, who took 3 weeks to review my results: I recommend just monitoring. It's highly unlikely that this is causing your symptoms, it's too small for that.
Me, July 2024:
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#like im sorry but 'highly unlikely' =/= 'impossible'#sure it might be rare but like thats not a reason not to check it out???#idk wtf is with this resistance to treat it#like SO WHAT if in the majority of people a microadenoma of that size doesnt cause symptoms?? all individuals are different#like y'all didnt even think i had one because it was atypical presentation so maybe that's the case with my symptoms too#what would it hurt to do meds for it?#if i do meds to shrink it and my symptoms resolve; great!#if i do meds and my symptoms dont resolve? thats also great! it means we've ruled one thing out#and can continue exploring why THE FUCK my body is acting the way it is#why wouldn't you want to rule things out if you can?????#the healthcare in this country is so fucking broken#its been almost a year since i went in for my symptoms and still no resolution#ive lost about 2/3 of my hair at this point. ill probably have to chop it off if it keeps going like this#not even gonna talk about the fatigue#nor gonna talk about my sis's current experience where an untreated infection (not for lack of her trying to get it treated!)#is potentially now developing into something more serious. like kidney stuff. 🙃#(and they apparently have no record of the labs she submitted 🙃🙃 so she's gotta go do it all over again otherwise they wont give her meds)#it's okay. its just nausea to the point she hasn't really eaten in days and constant pain and dizziness. difficulty standing#but its fine right lmao#ughhh#dont mind me im just frustrated beyond everything and need to yell into my little corner of the void#withoutwords
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todayisafridaynight · 4 months
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Why not combine them? You could post about MineDai eating pasta! Does Mine bulk with pasta? Does Daigo have a favorite pasta dish? Do they cook it together for a date night? Does Daigo even know how to boil water?? (Genuinely if you have any interest in posting about this please do, would read)
mine could, in fact, be the one who makes daigo pasta with a lil olive oil and salt and parmesan youre right ......
#snap chats#in MY world anyway ......#posts that inspired me to stop playing fps games to eat pasta instead <- im playing again later with my brother#bulking with pasta tho ..... im built like a cool stick you find in the forest but i love having pasta after a midday run ...#maybe not as a Meal meal but a quick meal just to have something afterwards yk#though would that not be lunch .... pasta lunch ... not a terrible meal for lunch actually...#idk i dont really eat lunch. unless that IS lunch.... idk dont ask me about the specific dietary habits of characters i dont eat#i dont imagine daigo has a favorite pasta dish- not that he doesnt like pasta its just not something he has strong opinions on#spaghetti's always a safe choice isnt it .... omg jollibees spaghetti ... i dont think he's had any but i just want JB spaghetti now ...#im full on pasta actually my stomach hurt <- just ate / contradicting 'i dont eat' statement#i cant imagine daigo and mine cooking together. maybe its because the thought of someone cooking with me makes me want to kill them#like im literally trying to cook here get out of the WAY. mine would be more nice of course he'd just have daigo wait if he was cooking#i should draw something with that .. i see it clearly. .. one day.#i just think itd be nice if daigo Wnated to help and insisted on it but mine's Deadass this time like. Go Away. Respectfully.#daigo'd prob joke about helping but then he gotta get hit with the Im Serious tone and now he's laughing while he walks away#like FIIIINNNEE WHATEVER guess he wont get the chairmans help <- the kitchen will not be burned down now#thats hyperbolic. moving on#youre right anon with the power of my mind i can make anything about my day related to minedai#i will be abusing this power indefinitely
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hm
thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol
#cylas vents#negativity#negative#death wish#lmao#bitches be like '[potentially concerning thing]' and then add 'lol' as if it's funny or a joke lmao#like i mean technically it's not but then again it is bc it's me. like yeah don't worry don't take this seriously don't mind me ok#it doesn't really matter anyway kk. or maybe it's more like I'm the joke.#like idk the thought that like most of my f/os would probably kill me on sight should be less comforting than it is i guess#imagine casually making posts like this and still being like 'ok but maybe im not actually mentally ill maybe im faking maybe im lying to#myself maybe im making excuses maybe im imagining things maybe im just lazy' etc etc#none of the antidepressants since fluoxetine decided it's over have done shit and even my psychiatrist now is always like 'hm. so do you#want to keep trying other things' and like yeah what else can i do? therapy didnt do anything for this specific issue and the tagesklinik#lady didnt really seem to get my issue (well her suggestions for like therapy groups or whatever were more about socialising or whatever#like ??? girl that's really not the main problem here lmao but she also did have a point about how i would have to actually go there every#day etc but like#what else am i supposed to do#hi i am always tired and sometimes struggle to even get out of bed and thats why i worry about getting a job or something bc it could become#too much or whatever but like unfortunately thats kind of a requirement for everything lmao#when psychiatrist asks what i want/expect or whatever i am internally like 'a magic pill that just fixes everything and makes me a normal#functional human being' but like that's just not A Thing (tm)#so. like. what else am i supposed to do.#i don't want to be like this forever#idk how to tag lmai#using stuff like#tw suicidality#tw suicidal#tw suicidal ideation#just feels so over the top and like i dont have the right to use them lol
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widevibratobitch · 5 months
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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anotherpapercut · 6 months
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one of the kids at work never listens or does what he's told and we have like the same problems with him every day so the other staff all kind of hate him at this point so they'll yell at him for doing extremely minor shit and today he said "how come you're the only staff member who cares about me" and it made me really fucking sad but it's not like I can tell the grown adults I work with what to do so I just have no idea how to help the situation
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szappan · 5 days
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idk if this would be helpful to you but how about. you pick your fave 5 letters. then make up a thesis statement/question/thing that stars with each of thise 5 letters. and then make a poll and have people vote on it? not the same as getting assigned something specific but it might give you direction. in case you dont have any favourite letters here are my 10 top 10 if you want more examples 1. j 2. e 3. o 4. g 5. d 6. b 7. i 8. l 9. z 10. u
if this isnt totally your thing and youre not interest u dont have to reply i just thought maybe u need a nudge like this :-)
augh this is brilliant thank you my friend ill give this a spin :-) those are very good letters indeed!! thank you for your help, getting peer reviewed should be very useful, so ill think about those statements now!
#ive had a pretty good idea since before i started at university and i could've been getting paid for it all this time if i wasn't busy doing#the érettségi before the application deadline so i never pursued it because also the more i thought about it the more pointless it seemed#but i just said to my mum 'the romans brought christianity to the british isles' and she said 'huh?' and then she said that i dont have to#write a phd right now and i can just compare the texts im thinking about and that'll be plenty i dont have to do the history of them#and that does seem more doable. and i can bring india into it and also the shakers. and that should tide me over#but i hate my own writing so much i cant make myself not sound capricious in my essays and i get hung up on technicalities all the time#and then inevitably do stupid wordplay and get all coy with it. i just need to be genuine about it and write about this thing and that's it#and i need to email boldizsár. sorry boldizsár i have all sorts of things i hope you're not tired of me#but also i have tons of ideas but when i start to think whether they could work the answer is always no#ill try to write a thesis proposal in the next few days and see where that gets me and if i can write it (1200 words) i can probably write#a thesis. and then ill have committed and i wont be in 153563 minds about this and i can close all my tabs in my browser and ill know joy#once again#asks#thank you so much for this ask this is such a good technique!!!#ref
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Tell me more about this book blanket? I'm Fascinated
Omg yay!! Okay so I'm knitting two rows per book that I finish in 2024, and each book rows will be a different color based on the genre it is
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So here are the books I've read so far. Everything that's in bold is what I've knitted, and the last book on the list is what I'm currently reading but haven't finished yet. So I've knitted everything before Fifty Feet Down, and read everything up to Annie on My Mind, but I'm currently like thirty percent through it.
I'm choosing colors as I finish genres, and I'm trying to do it only with yarn I have (cuz yarn is expensive and I have a lot of yarn. The reason I have a lot of yarn suitable for a blanket is because I took all of this yarn from a blanket I started knitting four years ago and never finished. Like I finished frogging that blanket yesterday and made it into cakes on my new yarn winder!!) I didn't really try to make the colors fit the genres. I just own a lot of navy yarn and knew I'd read a lot of LGBTQ books, and I own a lot of black and know I'll read a lot of horror books. Then for dystopian I just chose a yarn color that I had available, same with mystery.
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Here's how it's going so far! You can see the four navy rows for the two LGBTQ books i read, the two purple for the one dystopian book (which is also very good, I highly recommend Debate Kids at the End of the World and that author in general, Alex Nonymous) and then a chunk of black because I read four I. S. Belle books in a row (you can also see all of the ends I didn't weave in, which I'm going to hate myself for when I finish the blanket)
"But Austyn, what if the book is more than one genre?" I'm so glad you asked! Most of these books could be considered more than one genre. Fifty Feet Down is a mystery, but also a romance. So I just consider what genre I believe is more integral to the story, if that makes sense. Fifty Feet Down could be relatively the same if the main characters were just friends, but the story would be vastly different if it wasn't a mystery. Therefore, it gets the mystery color instead of romance. Same with all of the I. S. Belle books. There's romance in them, but if you took out the romance it would still be pretty similar, but if you took out the horror it would be an incredibly different story.
So that's my 2024 book blanket!
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