#dont mind me just revisiting an old obsession

[klownkoster]

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[bloodhailmp3]

i love how like literally everyone in 2010 - 2014 had this annoying way of speaking online like even if u were quote unquote cool u would still type in this v sincere forced quirky way that means if ur reading a post from 2012 in the present day u can usually guess what year the post was made before u check the timestamp. and now the common like online uhhh tone?? style of communication?? (sorry idk what to call it idk much abt linguistics) has shifted to being a little more detached and ironic and if someone still types in that early '10s style it comes across as what would now be considered cringe or maybe to put it more nicely just a touch too earnest and emotionally involved and like wannabe quirky

[notthestarwar]

Cody and Boba spn au? 👀👀

Oh my god so I started writing this in November and then totally forgot about it till earlier this week when I saw a spn post 😂 I've just had to hunt down my notes which are spread between docs, the back of a cardboard box, a discord conversation, my friends memory (because I told her about it on a voice call apparently) and a notepad before I could figure out where the hell I was going with this one 😂😂

@thesunlikehoney i know you asked about this one too

OK so it all started with this

Which just felt so Jango to me???

So there are no monsters and Jango had raised his 4 kids to be bounty hunters. Alpha leaves when he's old enough, Rex dies, and eventually Cody gets out too leaving Boba and Jango (imagine boba as Dean here). Fast forward a few years and Cody is living a normal life, living with Alpha, and is very dedicated to his normal person job, all until Boba turns up in the middle of the night, dean style.

He explains that Jango has gone missing on a hunt and it turns out that he and Boba had started hunting force users since Cody left and Cody is like. you what??? thats a big no no. very dangerous. Cody agrees to go with him but only for the weekend, he has to be back on monday for his job interview. they investigate the case and find jango's journal but no jango. cody is like. right. i'm going home now.

but he arrives home to find the place burning with alpha (dead) inside and a calling card from ventress, the force user jango had been tracking. boba tells cody that now ventress is on his tail, he cant stay, or she'll burn down his work and everything else, so cody goes with him to stop ventress so he can return to his normal life.

things pretty much go as per spn s1, with jango leading them on and them following after him thinking they are going to find him anytime. theres lots of arguing between the two of them over jango and rex and their upbringing ect.

obi wan makes an apperance as boba and jango's ex jedi hunting consultant and helps them in the hunt for ventress. obi wan is also cody's ex, and they broke up because of jango who refused to tolerate him (but clearly changed his mind at some point after cody leaving) and then cody doesnt contact him after he leaves jango and boba because he wants to get out of the hunting life.

the whole thing is largely about jango being a shit dad but its also about the knockon effect that had on all of them. cycles of trauma. in some ways ending up like the parent that wronged you and having to confront that. rex is pretty much haunting the narrative as nobody has really dealt with his death and theres a lot of anger and grief and not wanting to speak about him. its also about running from your life after something bad happens that you dont want to face (cody with jango and boba, obi wan with the jedi) and how that act of running stops you from letting go of anything, and how there was an alternative, of cody staying in boba's life, of obi wan staying in contact with his family (the jedi), so in some ways its also about balance

tbh its very fun and i'm minorly obsessed with it again now i've revisited

Here's a very unedited snippet from the start:

[...]He’s more than able to defend himself without resorting to weapons.

It’s as he’s thinking this, that something heavy and solid barrels in to him from the direction of the kitchen.

Caught unaware, maybe he is getting rusty, he tumbles to the floor.

The intruder is armoured, beskar if Cody isn’t mistaken. Cody is naked but for boxers. It shouldn’t be a fair fight: Cody hasn’t always been a fair man.

He targets the joins in the mans armour, rolls them over, and its then, that a cloud shifts. A beam of moonlight falls on them and Cody realises, with a drop in his stomach, that he knows this armour.

“Boba?” he asks.

There is a snort from the vocoder. “So you do recognise me?”

“Of course I do! Boba. What the hell?”

“I could ask the same of you. Did you have to tackle me like that.”

Cody is taken aback for a second. “Did I have to…You attacked me! In my home! What is wrong with you?”

Boba sighs, the vocoder clicking off, his brothers true voice filtering though. “I was disarming you.” He says, like it’s obvious. “Didn’t want you to shoot first ask questions after.”

“I wouldn’t…” Cody shakes his head. “I’m not like that anymore.”

He’s still hovering over Boba, holding him to the floor. He comes back to himself, climbing to his feet and holding out a hand to pull Boba up.

“Boba. What the hell are you doing here?”

Boba shrugs, releasing his helmet with a hiss and hooking it to his belt.  He raises an eyebrow. “I could ask the same of you.” He looks around unimpressed.

“No. You could not.” Cody tells him blankly. “This is my home. I live here Boba. Not with you, I got out, remember?” He scoffs. “Haven’t seen you in ten years. So what the hell are you doing here now?”

Boba gives him a long look. “Looking for you.”

thank you for asking!

[daedalusdavinci]

get to know me better game. tagged by @redactedcrow​!

three ships: uhh bruharv j@sico and erid@ve i guess lmao?? (censoring to keep out of tags)

first ever ship: when i understood what shipping was my first ship was perc!co. it was like. my introduction to fandom culture and fanart and all that stuff. nico was my first gay character and it blew my mind i was obsessed. funny thing is i dont like that ship at all now lmao

last song: sunflower by post malone, apparently. from the fucking. into the spiderverse soundtrack lol

last movie: i honestly think the last movie i saw all the way through was white christmas. my parents wanted to watch it but then got too sleepy ten minutes in so i watched basically the whole thing on my own :’)

currently reading: password to larkspur lane! ive been revisiting some of my old favorite mystery series lately

currently consuming: um i just ate some pretzels?

currently craving: more pretzels

i‘m tagging @roomfulloferidans @dumbkiwi @ashysiashy​ @mudp1es

[zoobles]

hi michi! ^w^ i hope u dont mind me asking now that uve finished that book what's like your favourite topic / theme in the books you've read? if possible what are your thoughts on the way your favourite book (s) presented it?

:D btw dw feel free to ramble if u want! you're a rlly cool person !

hi lab 👾 one book i read last year around this time was a separate peace by john knowles its one of my favorite classics for sure . it's such an interesting portrayal of codependency and obsessive love and the story is introduced as a fuzzy nebulous time in the narrator's life that he somehow got away from but is able to immerse himself into again once he revisits his old school and i was just so fascinated by that unsure feeling of not even really knowing how that relationship ended or how you wouldve gotten out of it had it turned out differently AND the fact that you arent even sure if the narrator's feelings were onesided or not (i kind of forget this part i think theres one moment where the friend sort of reciprocates but idk) . the whole novel has a really hazy clouded vibe its . its just SO INTERESTING yeah and i love tkam but thats a whole other thing..

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[thefairyletters]

✨ Spooky Recs✨

I read a lot of fanfictions... More than I am proud of. I thought I should recommend as I go before I lose sight of their existence among the sea of my favorites.

Since past few days I have been craving for some creepy, unnerving fanfics that will keep me restless and awake at night. I remembered my favorites and wanted to read more of the kind so I looked up, patiently going through each story that sounded compelling. I also revisited old stories for nostalgia's sake.

Of course, rare as they are, in Naruto fandom no less, it's even harder to find a horror and mystery fic that is well written, not dropped under 2 chapters, and really keeps your attention.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

Genre: Horror, Mystery, Comedy

I've rated 4 aspects of the work -

Writing – I don't judge writing based solely on the grammar and vocabulary. I also consider how the author expands upon a subject, if they are consistent with the facts, if they are able to keep the attention of the readers regardless of their creative writing skills.

Characters – If the characters are well-developed, in their given character, if OCs have any real significance to the story.

Plot – How gripping is the storyline, if the story sticks to its original plot, the structure of the story, plot holes.

Flow – Mother-of-slow-burn, slow-but-steady, steady, fast, I-am-speed

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When the flowers cry : TCOOKIES777 || M || AO3/FFN || SasuSaku || Goth Horror || Post-Canon, set during Blank Period || Ongoing

When one of the greatest medical-nin in the world goes missing in what should have been a simple delivery to the Land of Spring’s Hidden Snow Village, the rest of Team 7 must reunite to find her. But even the most powerful team of shinobi will find themselves challenged in a battle against the supernatural. With Sasuke's return, vengeful ghosts of the past will test him and his love.

My thoughts : One of the best stories I've read in a while, and top tier SS stories. I read this in one sitting. I never listen to music while reading, preferring silence, but for this one, I suggest you do as the author says. Also, keep some tissues and food with you. This story is major in mystery and minor in horror but otherwise full of SS fluff.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Steady, if a bit confusing (but that's why it's mystery)

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Kyuro : silver_shot || T || AO3 || SasuSaku || Mystery || Post-Canon || Complete

“Oh,” says Naruto, “well, its sort of like that. Except in this village, the story has a way more darker ending – it basically goes like this: the girl and the guy plan to run away together. The guy steals a bunch of treasure, and stashes it away. But then, when he goes to get the girl at her village, he kills her and decides to run away with all that money. But then he is killed by the guards of the girls village and now they're both dead and the treasure is hidden away somewhere”. Sasuke stares blankly at the blond, “that story makes no sense”.

My thoughts : I know you must be thinking the same thing as Sasuke – "makes no sense". I did too, but it's a pretty cool short story. It lies on the funny, creepy side that slowly starts to lose its funny touch. SS makes stupid mistakes later on but it could be because they are MCs. The ending is very ambiguous. It's not my favorite mystery but it is something. Enjoyable read but not something I will pick again.

Writing: 8/10

Characters: 8/10

Plot: 8/10

Flow: Fast

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Moon stuttering in the sky : xfrinz || T || AO3 || Gen || Mystery || Pre-Shippuden || One-shot

Kakashi is suspicious of many things about Haruno Sakura. Too many things about her don't make sense, with too many incongruous explanations.

My thoughts : Author of this story just summarised Pre-Shippuden in less than 4k words and made some tiny changes to it. Not much though. One of my favorite gen fics yet. Read it if you haven't yet. You'll feel more sad than thrilled tbh. But worth it.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: I-am-Speed

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Breath mints : silver_shot || T || AO3 || SasuSaku || Comedy-Mystery || Post-Canon || Ongoing (maybe)

Their home no longer exists with the life it once had – in fact no settlement thrives anymore; they exist only in a snapshot that contradicts time itself. Families within their own homes sleep in a slumber that they cannot wake from. Those that were chatting on the street prior to the event simply drop their heads and remain unresponsive.

My thoughts : I picked it up for Mystery but I stayed for Comedy. But of course that's not to say supernatural elements in this story is not it, but it sure pales in comparison to effortless humor in this story. Lee and Kiba pair is something you don't see often but they get along too well here. Charactisation is on point as well. SS angst! + NS angst (but it's downplayed)

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Steady

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The Curse : sincerelyLen || T || FFN || SasuSaku || Horror || Post-Canon || Ongoing

Team 7 is unexpectedly assigned an S-Ranked Mission involving an unsolved mystery of 10 years. An eerie adventure that will test their teamwork, strengths, and greatest fears. Do you believe in Curses?

My thoughts : My all-time favourite horror Naruto fanfiction. To me, this sets the standard of how mystery and horror elements should be handled. I have never been able to get this story out of my mind even it's been years. Perfect charactisation of Team 7 with Smart-yet-Stupid!Sakura, I-can-fight-aliens-and-reanimated-corpses-but-keep-ghosts-away-from-me!Naruto and I-dont-get-paid-enough-for-this!Sasuke. I especially love OCs here. They kinda reminds me of Pillars from KnY. You must read this story, loosely based on Zombie apocalypse + curse concept.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow-but-Steady

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Silent High : Istoria || T || FFN || Gen || Mystery || Post-Canon || Complete

A bit of the Silent Hill series mixed in with Naruto. Trapped in an illusion whose rules are unknown, they struggle to find answers before darkness consumes them.

My thoughts : One of the best mystery fanfictions I've read. I especially loved how this story handled Genjutsu in the best possible way it could without it turning into some cliche, ghost story. Though really, this story has shown what my greatest fear actually is. I will never be able to leave my back open to a wheelchair. This story has simple writing yet it gives you creeps with the twists and turns. A must read one because it is unlike any other in this list.

Writing: 9/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Steady

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Silence of the Damned : Daystar Clarion || T || FFN || Gen || Psychological Horror, Mystery(?) || Pre-Shippuden || One-Shot

When Naruto wakes up to a dead body in his bathroom, he begins a quick spiral into madness.

My thoughts : Listen to Halsey's Control while reading this. Quite chilling, deals with mental issues and morbid but in a fascinating way. It gives a new meaning to Dark!Naruto, but one that actually makes sense. I never saw the ending coming... I had something else in mind and I was convinced it would be, but nope. Here's a sequel to this One-Shot (Uzumaki's War) which I never picked up.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Slow-but-steady

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To the Victor : Letta || T || FFN || NaruSaku || Psychological Horror || Shippuden || One-Shot

Naruto loses the fight and Sakura is a trophy of war.

My thoughts : A very twisted NS, if you squint. It's not horror but it might as well be... it is still a disturbing story to see from the eyes of Sakura. Quite chilling to be in Sakura's shoes. But I love this because it is one shot and I loved the ending.

Writing: 9/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 8/10

Flow: Steady

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Under the Skin : BukkakeNoJutsu || T || FFN || Team 8 || Body Horror || Pre-Shippuden || One-Shot

Your actions don't make you a monster. Your reasons do.

My thoughts : There's a reason why Shino is my favourite team 8 member. In my opinion, Shino is also one of the strongest Shinobi of his generation. His clan techniques are just that horrifying. This story is testament to that. He is so terrible.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow-but-steady

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Instant Message : Keelah || T || FFN || SasuSaku || Murder mystery || Modern AU || Incomplete

She gave him names to kill, in order not to be killed herself. But having blood on her hands was turning out to be much worse than dying. "…There's still round 2…3…4…" When does this game end? She asked. "Don't you see, Sakura?" He said, "It never does."

My thoughts : I read this story a long time ago and have read this twice. Personally, it has the most interesting concept of all stories in the list. It reminds me of Vocaloid series, "Bookmark of the end". Kind of. To those who are thinking of picking this up, go ahead! It's a great book and has one of the best suspense I've read in Fandom. BUT, it has been stopped in mother-of-all-cliffhangers and Author is MIA for 4 years now. But, all things considered, it remains to be one of the best stories I've read.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Steady

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Monomoth : Ohtze || M || FFN/AO3 || SasuSaku || Horror || AU || Incomplete

Everything ends, eventually. Eight years after the war, Sakura's unhinged and Sasuke's obsessed. The fields are filled with corpses.

My thoughts : I read this story right after "The Curse", my favourite. From what I remember, Sakura and Sasuke are both mentally deranged, in different ways. Lots of death and gore to stomach, so not for weak readers. There's no speak of fluff in this one. Zero, Zilch, Nada. I wouldn't call it your classic 'Horror', but it is very disturbing, so psychological horror is more like it. Don't eat food while reading this one. Did I mention how Sakura is mentally disturbed beyond help in this one? And Sasuke is obsessed. If these suit your tastes, go ahead.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow

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I hope you enjoy this list. Let me know your opinion in comments.

[obmare]

Perhaps Tomarry/Harrymort fic recs?? 👀👀👀

Oh wow this took so long to answer I'm so sorry anon!! I literally never gets asks here so I never check 😅

I can't say I've read the most fics in this fandom ( I'm pretty picky when it comes to fanfics ) but I can recommend some that I think are worth checking out!

1. Of your making

25 chapters, completed

" An unexpected twist during the final battle has Harry trapped inside a magical artifact with only his greatest enemy for company. The Carcerem will release them, but the requirement for freedom is an impossible one, for neither Harry Potter nor Tom Riddle will ever forgive the other."

This fic was the first tomarry fanfiction I actually sat down and read all the way through and to this day it's still one of my favorites and the one I recommend to people when they start getting into the pairing. Great creative plot, the characters are all in character and I just really love it.

2. The All Seeing Eye Glass

14 chapters so far, last update 29/8/2020

" When Harry lands himself in 1942 he officially stops caring. Surrounded by witches and wizards that are blissfully ignorant that there's a time-traveler in their midst, Harry resolves to make his own changes, which results in some interesting and unexpected consequences."

I have no words for this fic. From all the time traveling ones this one takes the cake for me by far. The characterization of everyone is amazing,the plot is captivating and it made me love Harry's relationships that get created. The use of seers is really great and the lore if the wizarding world is greatly explored. Plus it's like really funny. Hope it updates soon!

3. Teaching History (is old news)

30 chapters, main story completed

" In which Tom is the DADA professor at Hogwarts, secretly recruiting followers for his future army, and Harry is the worst Divination professor ever, accidentally messing up Tom’s plans."

Another one of the greats. This fic has made me laugh and cry so much I should tell my therapist about it. The idea of Harry as a Divination professor is the best idea ever and if you love ugly sweaters and Harry bothering Tom you'll love this one.

4. No Glory

43 chapters so far, last update 27/1/2021

" The Dark Lord divines what Harry Potter is in the Forbidden Forest, and revelations lead to incomprehensible consequences. Lord Voldemort has won... and the dystopia is damning.

A tale of a fallen hero, dark desires, and a Dark Lord's obsession with something he has lost and finds himself unwillingly lusting after: a soul. "

If you are in the tomarry fandom you should do yourself a favor and read all of ObsidianPen's works. Their stories are so wonderfully written I doubt my descriptions of them will do them any justice. So wait no longer and go binge read them all!!( if you like captive Harry you'll enjoy this particular one a lot).

5. Come down and rot with us baby; we guarantee you'll love it

11 chapters so far, last update 27/7/2020

" Everyone knew about Tom Riddle's little clique, only the brightest, wealthiest, most gorgeous people were ever included. So, the question was, how far Harry go to get in?

Or

A 'Brideshead Revisited' meets 'The Riot Club' meets 'Stoker' meets 'Hannibal' meets 'The Secret History' fic."

I'm very sad that this fic doesnt get the recognition it deserves tbh. Like this obviously isn't everyones cup of tea but if you like dark academia and dont mind some of the warning tags I believe this to be one of the best out there. I've been into dark academia since I was 16 and thanks to that this has to be my favorite fic out there. The way the characters are written is very unique but also very aligned with dark academia roles. If you like this style I suggest reading all of the author's works as they are all great!

There's many more beautiful works but these 5 hold a special place in my heart as an audience!

[sciencefictionismyjam]

A legendary failure...

As you all know by now if you follow me, or as a result of my constant posting on the matter... I despise the Legendary Edition. I think it has to be one of the worst remasters ever released for a science fiction video game franchise for reasons I have gone into with exhausted details, the fact that BioWare have managed to get away with essentially reselling broken, unfinished ports of the original games with only slight HD touch ups boggles my mind... So in a haze of annoyance, frustration etc. I had decided to revisit the BTS, and original games. Making a whole series worth of videos, and posts explaining with clear examples how and why this is the case. I dont think I have ever been this passionate, and obsessed with defending the original presentations of old games like this before, and then producing such a staggering amount of content in such a short amount of time as a direct result... Some would say its unhealthy lol.

None of what I say, or present in my video content and posts will ever sway the minds of this fanbase lol, but I just could not in good conscious not have said anything at all. Because this product is almost criminal in it’s inferiority... Not only does it look worse than those original games, it is also full of visual, technical and gameplay based bugs. Broken lighting, broken FX, broken textures, light and shadowmaps... You name it.

All that I can really hope for is that someday the hardcore fans, and new audiences of ME will be able to return to this discussion and bring more awareness towards how bad these remasters truly look. With enough time, research and retrospect once the hype dies away... Because it needs to be pointed out.

[finalgirldean]

what are some of your favourite books?

oh what a tough question! i really don't read much because i've got a terrible attention span sometimes. another thing is that i don't feel like i was entirely conscious until rather recent so i couldn't take in what i was experiencing as well i can know, and will later. but anyway i'll stop going on and think of some..

the hundred year house by rebecca makkai was the first book i read that really blew my mind (in middle school). it follows characters in this one house over three time periods. right up until the end of the book more and more is revealed how each time is delicately intertwined. i reread it when i was about 17 and enjoyed it the same, and i think i would enjoy it even more if i read it again today, now that i'm older.

the absolutist by john boyne i'm mentioning this one because it totally obliterated me more than any book ive read. so much so that it almost made me sympathetic to the plight of those people obsessed with happy endings and warding off misery in art--almost. but i hope that doesnt put you off if it interests you, i really would recommend it. sometimes a bit of pain is good thing--to have ones emotions stirred up so high is a real treat.

enter the aardvark by jessica anthony wholly original and the most ive laughed at a book. was strange feeling empathy for the type of character who i would abhor in real life, but thats how it goes when youre in someones head. 

the iliad by homer dont even know where to begin with this one. i'll just say that i think since the title is one of the most well known and well regarded (in the "west"?) of all time, and because of its age, it gets underestimated by people unfamiliar with it (which is more and more these days, i think). but it really is an astounding story with depths that you can mine for eternity (not in the least because its in an ancient language and therefore subject to translations and what not).

orlando by virginia woolf first of all: the greatest love letter of all time (here's another favourite). second of all: to say this book was a delightful read undersells it, but my vocabulary cant give up a more suitable word. i feel like im entirely somewhere else when i read it. as a lover of history, watching her refashion the concept of a biography the way she did sends tingles up my spine and across my brain. 

on the road by jack keruac im not even sure if i especially liked this as a story but i dont think ive ever given more thought to a book while i was reading it recreationally. i can only freely admit here that it was in large part due to supernatural. i read it back in the winter when i was deep in those trenches and almost all i could think about was supernatural. so while i was reading it i was thinking about how it compared to the show and the characters (dean lol) and kripkes ideas about his show, masculinity, America etc. and it was extremly fascinating to see the narrative and message keruac made from his experiences and the people he met. even observing the misogyny i found interesting (sorry girls). so in short this is one of my favourite books because it gave me a lot to think about. also you can tell im not an english major who has to pick apart books all day long lol 

brideshead revisited by evelyn waugh my old friend <3 

black beauty by anna sewell one of my favourites for totally sentimental reasons. my mother read it to me as a child, it was one of her favourite books, and we shared (in the family) a love of horses. 

this post is getting long so ill cut it off here but in the last couple of my months ive read or started reading some recent favourites: affairs of honor by joanne b. freeman (incredibly smart and wonderful reminder how hilarious history is), jane eyre by charlotte bronte (win for ugly people), tinker tailor soldier spy (my recent zero note posts subject), stalin’s englishman by andrew lownie (my photo library is now filled with screenshots from this) the charioteer by mary renault (an old favourite) 

[dear-yandere]

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

[funeralbelle]

gillian jacobs, joel mchale, and any other community cast of interest + 👥

SEND ME AN FC + 👥 TO SEE A CHARACTER I’D etc etc

gillian jacobs

I rly love the idea of her in a Pagliacci role!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like her vibes during her depressive episodes in Love really radiate that suicidal clown energy and I would def play her as a small time comedian who tells herself that she’s constantly chasing near-death situations in search for material and not in search for oblivion.

also she’s been in so many raunchy movies that i feel like she could definitely play a nymphomaniac. and this is maybe an unrelated tangent but,,,  you see a lot of promiscuous female characters in the rpc, but i’ve never seen one who’s actually interested in sex..? usually the trend is female characters who feel unloved and use sex as a fill-in or gateway to a sense of intimacy. and this isn’t any shade at, like, nina’s character zelda or yam’s character nikki (especially because i use the same trope with my character genie), but when you combine all of the muses with this characterization together, i feel like we as a community accidentally enforce the idea that women don’t get titillated and just use romance as a bargaining chip for love?? 🤪 

idk maybe it’s just my experience but i always see the love-starved harlot more than any legit horny girls so lets get more of those and lets use gillian jacobs for the roles because thinking about it now i’m pretty sure that even her character on Love has that same characterization. damn

joel mchale

I’m determined!!!!!! to use him for something!!!!! 

my first priority is gwen’s rp americana; originally i thought he would be good for The Professor bt i haven’t had any rly novel ideas to bring to the table for that skeleton yet and i wanna avoid using him in the same career as his Community character. plus i think i’d want to play him in a skeleton that compliments him being like 6′5″ and jacked. hes also rly.. aryan looking… so he could make a perfect Detective if i can get over my hang-ups and play a cop in remotely good faith. but failing that i might end up applying for The Suspect w/ him.

on the flipside, I feel like he’d be rly good for a p.i. character that’s been floating around my head for a long time but whom I haven’t rly had the chance to develop bc I’ve pretty much just been in college rps for the last half a decade. woulda considered this muse for MW if i wasn’t already planning to bring in tom/sal.

that character is a Hunter S Thompson type— tragically optimistic and repeatedly outraged every time mankind disappoints him; constantly trying to believe in the best of people in an industry where he’s dealing with the most depraved individuals. tried to unionize his private investigation firm (love the futility of trying to organize behind the back of the boss of a band of snoops) and wound up getting underhandedly fired so he had to go independent. hardened more in demeanor than heart; numbs the hell of being repeatedly let down with a rock & roll lifestyle that he should’ve outgrown in his thirties. still clinging onto a Gen X obsession with authenticity that obnoxiously makes him roll his eyes at any cashier who smiles and tells him to have a great day. comes across as crass and tactless, desensitized to vulgarity and clumsy when it comes to tenderness despite perpetually yearning for it. compulsively anti-authority to the point of impairing his judgment at times; easily manipulated by anyone who portrays themselves as an underdog. probably comes from a family without a nurturing female presence; could definitely picture him with a businessman younger sibling whom he resents because they’ve “sold out” (read: they’re flourishing financially) while he’s 48 years old and has no sheets on his bed because it’s been a week and he still hasn’t taken them out of the dryer and he keeps passing out on the couch anyway so he’s not really thinking about it.

The biggest struggle in using McHale for this character is that he’s a little too fratty and it’s hard to picture him as this chainsmoking gonzo. but i try to play fcs against type and i feel like he always gets cast as characters who are wealthy/charming/two-faced/detached/nihilistic, and this is definitely as far away from that as i can get. maybe ill do a deep dive into his filmography and find something where he wasnt playing a white collar hunk or douchebag. idk…,,we’ll see. maybe ill use a completely different fc for that character and use mchale for one of the americana skeletons instead?? idk i havent gotten that far yet but i cant stop making gifs of him i’m having so much fun i want to use him so bad idk

one last option is like… ever since those reddit stories got popular, ive always wanted to play a search-and-rescue officer for a national park? and i feel like he almost has forest ranger vibes in the later seasons of community when he has the beard. i dont know where i would play this character but to be fair i have literally no clue where i would play a private investigator either so it’s. yeah

donald glover

i played him back when i used to write in rly wild and campy/comedic supernatural/genre plots!! the original conceit of that character was a law school dropout who swindled an eldritch demon out of his almighty powers, but had such low motivation in life and such a one-track mind that he never thought to use it for any kind of world domination, and instead tried to use it to win back and impress her by giving himself a promotion to manager of the bowling alley he worked at, or make her life without him seem subconsciously bleaker by doing innocuous bullshit like making her breakfast cereal have less marshmallows in it than usual. i don’t know if i would revisit him, but if i did it might be fun to have him have a jackass genie type of relationship with another character in a 1x1, or drop the supernatural aspect entirely and reimagine him as a burnout who suddenly inherited a huge amount of money, only for it to gradually be revealed that it came from some shady means, or something. i don’t know. fucking love his tag on my blog though

alison brie

I think one of the reasons I resent Annie Edison so much is because you can tell Dan Harmon was too obsessed with her to let her be the butt of any jokes or make her look bad in any way, and so even though Alison Brie is an extremely charming and funny actress, she never got to portray any really human or interesting flaws, because all of Annie’s negative traits were just the kind of corny weaknesses you list in a job interview (she’s just too driven!!! a perfectionist to a fault!!~~) and I think that by season 3 she became the thing every viewer was worried Britta would be in the pilot (boring moral compass of a carrot dangling in front of the male protagonist to motivate his character growth). And it just feels like a waste of an actress who could easily find humor in an uglier character and make them sympathetic. So I genuinely want to do something like that with her, like make her a former activist who completely sold out her morals for a gig as a commentator on a corporate news outlet or working on softening PR for some Raytheon or Lockheed Martin type of company. I also love villains with her mousy-petite-big-blue-eyed disney-faced look who are more perniciously manipulative and unsuspecting, so I’d love to do that. 

on an unrelated note: she looks sm like natalia dyer and especially after she got really skinny circa 2016, she would be a rly good timeskip cast for the older, strung-out version of my character max? 

wld definitely gif brie in Sleeping With Other People & How to Be Single & Community s5 + s6 if sage and i ever went through with that timekip plot or if i ever found a place to play a conniving daffodil.

[dovahgarbage]

Thots on Far Cry New Dawn

ok so. imma put some of this under the cut because i dont want to spoil it for you’s who are still playing through it. but uhhhh gotta say. i was a bit underwhelmed by it over all.

ok so firstly i try not to judge a series of games based on previous installments because it doesnt feel fair to compare apples and oranges. but... this game was so obsessed with what happened in fc5 that it only feels fair that i’m allowed to look back as well.

So first and foremost, the game has a large emotional disconnect between Cap and citizens of hope county. All we really know about cap is that they are working for Thomas Rush to rebuild settlements across America.  So they aren’t even from hope county and they have no context for anything that waits for them there. I was excited to see an outside perspective on the events of fc5, hear stories about the deputy that brought on the end of the world. I learned v quickly that this was a fool’s dream. See the problem with relaying the events of fc5 to a character like cap is they have next to no reason to be invested in the past of this area except “hey there’s fresh water here” or “hey this is a defensible position right”. Any emotional weight is shrugged off by Cap having no context of the history of these people or their struggles with each other. WE as players know everything. We’ve seen the horrors of Eden’s gate, we’ve seen the destruction the Seeds brought to hope county. We know what the fuck is going on. But cap has NO idea. And honestly isn’t really given a reason to try and find out more about it. Everything cap is doing is in an effort to bring down the highway men and build up settlements. (well. Settlement. All we have are outposts) why the hell would they care about who was who. What the fuck is a boomer. Who is this deputy everyone vaguely mentions and why do I give a shit?

And this gets to be a more noticeable problem as we interact with Joseph Seed. Big Daddy Greasy Jesus himself. I hate joseph as a person, love him as a villain. But… seeing him in this game, being forced to work with him as a player (KNOWING what he’s done and the countless lives he’s ruined) and the whole while the only person cap sees is some yoda motherfucker with meth apples that help you hulk out like… once.

That moment when joseph asks you to kill him? It made No Sense as to why cap would shoot him?? In their eyes, joseph has done nothing wrong. Ok maybe he wasn’t an A+ parent but nothing worth killing him over. This moment that is supposed to hold so much weight and meant to be a sort of catharsis for us as players and it just feels… hollow.

Lets discuss the Deputy. Because I have. Many feelings.

I honestly don’t understand why they weren’t the player character again. The narrative wouldn’t have had this huge emotional canyon to be filled between the county and cap. Coming across old guns for hire and friends would actually have… meant something. Revisiting old locations only to see them crumbled and over grown. Any interaction between them and joseph seed would have been charged with tension and held more water. Not to mention it would have made that decision in killing him potentially rewarding and not just “ehh I guess, you dick.”

Instead, the Judge is just kinda… there. In fact everyone is just kinda… there. But I got a laundry list of how Ubisoft did our baby Rook dirty.

[if !supportLists]1.     [endif]Your efforts in the first game feel invalidated. Not just because you “lost” but because of how brushed under the rug the Deputy is. Only a few companions from the first game even Address the Judge. And even then, its no where near the emotional closure we would have liked.

[if !supportLists]2.     [endif]Sharky doesn’t even speak to the judge. Nor does Grace. Nick has one throw away line. 0/10

[if !supportLists]3.     [endif]Only Jerome and Carmina come close to giving any validation as far as showing a connection to Judge. Even then Jerome was more on the side of “I’m disappointed in you for having changed into this.” Hurk just makes jokes. Albeit funny jokes but still.

[if !supportLists]4.     [endif]Also wasn’t the identity of the judge supposed to be a secret? Why the hell does everyone else know and new eden doesn’t?

[if !supportLists]5.     [endif]The judge has NO reaction to either ending. None. Joseph lives or dies, it is the same. Silence.

[if !supportLists]6.     [endif]Also why the hell does Cap get to kill him when the Deputy has suffered infinitely more at the hands of that lunatic? How am I supposed to feel like this is a rewarding decision to make?

I don’t know about anyone else, but I was very attached to my deputy. She wasn’t just a shell I inhabited as I played fc5. I wanted to know what happened to her after she escaped the bunker with joseph and I wanted her to find peace and closure after all she had sacrificed and suffered. The Junior Deputy deserved better!

Ok, so I’m moving on to the Twins. Honestly, they should have had their own game. Their potential as well rounded and fun far cry villains is wasted here.

The actresses did a wonderful job in making them charismatic and I loved the way their actions synced up and how one would finish the sentence of the other. It was very unified and the connection between them was very clear.  

But I couldn’t connect with them as far as feeling threatened on screen. You could say it’s because we inherently don’t find women as scary as men in media and that’s entirely possible but narratively speaking, the Twins aren’t as threatening to me as villains because they lack something very vital – direction and purpose.

Mind you, all the far cry villains are so over the top and their motives don’t always make sense but I cannot wrap my head around the Twins motives? They’re here to have a good time and I guess they like to party but?? Why the hell would they want hurk’s baby, yknow? Why do they talk about problem solvers and problem makers when objectively, they HAVE to know they create more problems than they solve.

They TRY to give Mickey some depth with their mother and her making mickey promise to be better. But like… there’s not a lot of indication of growth or change or even regret in the end. After Lou’s death is only when mickey acknowledges that they only tore things down and never bothered making the world better but… lol where the hell did that conclusion come from? Why now? Why are you bringing this up now? (again cap has no context as to the significance of Mickey’s promise to her mother about protecting lou or trying to be better) At least with the Seeds they had a very clear purpose (prepare for the end of the world and horde as much shit as possible). Pagan Min had a purpose (crush the resistance that threatened his rule). Even Vaas as crazy and chaotic as he was still had a purpose in furthering Hoyt’s empire of drugs and slavery.

Also, the Twins are sort of in the backseat because of Joseph’s presence. It’s like ubisoft didn’t trust them to carry the series forward and instead chose to try and get a previous villain to anchor on. It diminishes their presence and importance and really just adds to the jumbled mess that is this game.

I personally blame rushed writing. Far Cry has a problem with putting out games fast and half baked. Far cry primal received a lot of flack for being a reused map of fc4. And I think given enough time and drafts this game could have been something better. Not perfect by any means. But definitely its own game.

All in all, I probably wont play it again. It doesn’t appeal to me anymore and has too many shortcomings for me to actually enjoy it. Day two of me playing it felt like just a confused slogging mess and I just zoomed through so I wouldn’t see spoilers on tumblr.

[stinkgh]

16 (aka 'things I think are romantic' revisited)

I want a love that will make me feel safe and protected.

I want a love that will speak to my insecurities as if they were friends. Hell, I want to speak to my insecurities as if they were friends lmao I'm trying to get better with that.

I want a love that will fucking spoil my ass man I am a goddamn princess and yes I want a crown bitch. God please stroke my ego, but only when we're alone because that's more intimate to me than when we're in public. I dont like being the center of attention around other people but when we're alone I better be the fucking universe and all the stars in the system. I want you looking at me. I want you watching me. I want you cataloguing my every move. I want a love that will notice things I like without me having to tell them. I want a love that pays attention, because I do the same when I truly fall in love. You'll know when I'm in love because I won't be able to take my eyes off of you. Literally. And yes, I will be cataloguing you and noticing things you like without you having to tell me, either. I believe that people pay attention when they love someone.

But I don't want enmeshment and this is something I struggle with due to my upbringing, which brings me to another point. I want a love that will understand. I have so much pain from my childhood and because of that I've done shit I'm really fucking disgusted with. When I say I have trauma I want a love that uderstands what that means. It means I have a host of personality disorders that I'm currently sorting through, it means that I have an attachment disorder that makes me a fucking monster when it comes to this shit. At surface level it makes me not want to be around people for long periods of time. Anxiety and depression. Trust issues and abandonment. Clingyness and obsessiveness and anxious attachment because of deeper psychological issues I'm currently working to heal. In fact, this snippet was added on post because I'm realizing wanting to be watched so intently is actually one o those psychological issues stemming from my mother's neglect when I was a child. But this list is not set in stone and will grow and expand as I do. For right now, something like that is accurate. I want to be someone's center of the universe. Maybe that might change in a few months. Who knows? On a deeper level it means the way you say things can trigger a response in my body that makes me panic as if I'm right back in the abusive situation I worked so hard to escape. It means please dont throw that in my fucking face the way my family does. It means please respect when I need time alone, or when I see something in a movie that triggers me and I have to leave the complex because I'm having mild flashbacks and don't want to be there anymore. I need a love that will understand the nature of my trauma is embarrassment and shame and that I already feel fucking awful for needing to walk away in the first place. I need a love that will be kind to me, my trauma, and my triggers. I also need to do that for myself, and why I'm so excited to start therapy and learn some coping mechanisms and better ways to think. It's why I love my journey so much because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm so tired of living this way, so tired of being hard on myself, and that the changes I want will work because I'm declaring they will right here and now. I want a way out, a way around, a new ground to stand on, a better view 🙌 And that's why I know I'm doing this for me and no one else, but also possibly one day there might be someone else and I'd like to not regress into a literal bean when the bad things happen.

I want a love that wont allow me to become my shadow. I want a love that knows her self worth more than her love for me. I want to know my self worth more than my love for her. I want a love with potential to grow in spirituality and health if those are goals we deem worthy to share, and I add that last part because right now I struggle with both spirituality and health so first and foremost these are goals for myself. I want to be a healthy bean, not a rotten one.

I want a love that will put up with my obsession with Kimbra. But not just Kimbra, my love of music in general. I want a love that is able to share things but also respect our differences and not try to make one conform to the other. This is a huge me thing by the way. Enmeshment. Also ties in to avoidant attachment disorder due to my inability to be around people and exert my uniqueness without fear of being judged, ridiculed, or feeling like I have to change who I am in order to conform to others so that I won't be singled out. Which, really fucking bothers me because as a teen I never really cared about this shit before. I always prided myself on being different, the ""rebel"" but in actuality a huge fucking weeb who didn't care how weird other kids thought I was. Where the fuck did she go, HELLO?? ARE YOU IN THERE?? Oof, got a shriveled up "no" on that one, I know I know. You're hurt, but guess what? you're alive. Just all shriveled up like a raisin. Some people like raisins, you know. I once had a bag of grapes sit in my freezer for a literal month and some of them turned to raisins by the end of it. They were surprisingly good. You know what, I should buy grapes when I'm out tomorrow, but not the red ones they suck. The green ones taste better. Oh! Then I can make some green raisins and they'll look like Yoda! Hah!

I want a love that will embrace my sarcasm and dry sense of humor, but I also want a love that won't use sarcasm to hurt and that is also a huge me thing. I have to heal my family's run with emotional abuse before I can love someone else because I have already let it show itself and me and that is not my definition of what love looks like. I want a love that will not shy away from self inspection and mental health. I want a love that takes an interest in this process with me. I want a love I can lean on when it gets overwhelming, a love that understands when I mess up and wont be afraid to tell me when I'm wrong. I want to be capable enough of self Inspection to the point of letting someone else in without feeling threatened, to know that someone else has my best interest in mind and to do the same for my partner. I want a love that treats mental health as a vital aspect to life. I want a love that isn't afraid to speak their truth but can also handle hearing someone else's truth, because we are both individuals walking a different path and my truth will not always equal yours and neither will yours always equal mine. I want a love based on respect at all times. I want a love that doesn't push boundaries. I want a love that's mature enough to handle mature situations in a mature manner. This is a me thing, but also a requisite I'd hold long term for my partner as well. In fact, all of these things should be long term.

I want a love that's warm and cozy. I want a love that makes me miss it everytime I have to leave because it'll be that much better when I come back. I want a love that will hear my name and think warm, happy thoughts, and the same for me when I hear my partner's name. I want a love that lasts a lifetime. I want a love I can grow old with. I want a partner, a lover, a friend, a confidant, a business partner, a co-parent, a marriage, a bond, a mate, a werewolf to my vampire, an angel to my demon. I want a fire, a hot burning love filled with so much passion it could melt everything around it. Engulf me, I want to be consumed by everything a love like this would bring. I want to be swallowed up by a love so powerful we could rule the world together. I want it raw and then I want to bake it at the right temperature, decorate it and make it pretty. I want a love that will help me make something so beautiful. I want a love that will help me maintain it's beauty all the way until the end. And then when it's time to go I want a love that will help me eat it, too.

Yeah I just compared love to baking a cake. I also want a love that wont mind my cheesy metaphors. Secretly I like being poetic. My life has so much darkness you have to find light somewhere.

I want a love that will love me every bit as much as I love them.

This is the kind of love I want.

[terravilla]

Life in Flux

If you have ever stopped and looked around at your house, your street, your town, your state, you will notice the only constant is change. Our visual environments shift like sand dunes in the wind. They are familiar and, at the same time, different. 

Growing up, my house on Orchard Lane changed often at the every evolving style of my mother. At first, I was trepidatious but eventually came to love the esthetic evolutions. They became identity markers in my memory of changes in us as people. She stained our shingled house green, red, and brown, she added a den, and island to the kitchen, a finished basement with a bar, new furniture, curtains, wall paper.. the list goes on. We moved from that house when I was 11 years old. In my mind that house was huge but having revisited it a few years back, it was a very small house on a tight winding road nestled into a crook of a hill surrounded by impressively huge trees. That is where it all started for me.

I, like my mother, enjoy decorating. She went to school for it and created a very successful design business that has been going strong for the last 42 years. My mom has an extraordinary ability to design spaces specific to your clients needs and desires regardless of her personal style. I have seen how she has decorated some homes having spent a large portion of my youth as her assistant. I had first hand experience with contractors, dusty back alleyway furniture repair shops or seamstress shops, large wholesale carpet and wallpaper stores, and all the other little holes in the wall where we would collect these beautiful things to create spaces. It was such an awesome experience that I didn't realize was grooming me for my obsession with design.

This insight helped me see the world as it evolved. As buildings came down, how houses were built, and how structures and spaces are renovated and remade new to reflect new personalities and needs.

In the 80′s and 90′s, when I was a wee human, design didn't have the appeal as it does now. It was a luxury of the upper class and business owners. It was a niche market that was still getting its sea legs underneath it. The study of design bloomed in the 80′s. Learning of the evolution of design since the dawn of civilization. Design within the United States gained traction when single family homes in suburban neighborhoods took flight. The most famous architect being Frank Lloyd Wright who changed it from a utility to a spectacle and an art form. 

As a country, I believe the united stated is struggling to have universal identity, a unifying theme, and a common thread that helps the flow of activity and pleasure and culture. That has been my personal experience in the last 5 or so years. This is reflected in our towns, and more importantly on our TV’s. Reality TV being the most common watched programming, channels like HGTV and DIY Network has brought the study of design to the public in a way that has never happened before. But it's not in depth or “real” by any means. It's a watered down middle school version of a very respectable area of study that has cultural roots across the globe and a deep as the dawn of man. Dont get me wrong, I like that the internet and television has open the horizons of knowledge to so many people but it is just that, an opening. Its is not a doctoral degree or an in depth peer review area of study. Its for entertainment and for viewership which dulls the quality and variety of it. And as the waves of copy cat shows and Youtube channels and blogs amass, the value of the information you are receiving recedes into the horizon like a ship going out to sea. Dont mistake a taste for a feast. Map below from thedailynews.com shows a data graph of what the most common personality traits are by region.

There is a pause in style and design. An argument whether external or internal about orgionality and appeal. Style becomes a very intimate experience. It elicits emotion and helps people define their inward selves with their outer worlds. Arguably, each era of time has cornerstones to the styles being represented. For some of us, since the turn of the 21st century, we don't feel that design kinship or sense of agreement of what styles defines the decades that recede into history. 

The pursuit of knowledge has always been a life goal of mine since I can remember. I was a curious and inquisitive child much to the dismay of many adults. I never stopped asking why. Design is no different than any other area of study or work. Those who master it, learn to appreciate its deep roots and future possibilities. They understand the mechanics of it and understand that its evolution is a direct effect of the cause of so many things like war, trade, technology, the interaction of cultures and countries and centuries over time. Design it the stage on which conflicts and resolution perform.

Even if nothing should change in your house or your town, if you look around at the objects and buildings that define the spaces you occupy, they have a rich history and meaning. A good reference and wonderful book to read on the history of design is below. I encourage anyone to dive deep into something that sparks your interests. It could create a lifelong passion or at the very least broaden your understanding of the world. 

[warmau]

What would VIXX be like if they were detectives and you were either their assistant or the person they were scolding the case for? Or even the one they were trying to apprehend? :0

Hakyeon

world-renowned detective 

only works cases that even the government can’t solve, has an obsession with trying to solve cold cases that are over hundreds of years old

is a Gentlemen to the bone. wears nothing but the most expensive suits, addresses everyone formally, and carries a pocket watch in this day and age

doesn’t like working with partners, it isn’t his thing. like the government will offer him the opportunity to have the smartEST people in korea help him but he’ll always just wave the offer off because he’s got this on his own

he once accepted the help of a policeman and everyone was so shocked but in the end all he did was make the policeman run around making him coffee and at the end of the case hakyeon was like “thank you for all your effort!” and the policeman was like but i didn’t do anything,,,,,and hakyeon just smiled like nonsense, you made the best coffee ive ever had!

you meet hakyeon because you’re related to someone who disappeared mysteriously back in the seventeen hundreds and hakyeon just so happened to have taken on that person’s missing case as a side hobby and he shows up in front of your house

at first pretending to be a repairman and you’re like,,,,,,,are repairman always this handsome and courteous?? also you don’t understand half the big words he’s saying

but you let him in because your sink is broken and hakyeon,,,,probably because he’s like a genius,,,,actually does fix the sink and wipes his hands with this silk handkerchief he takes out of the suit he’s wearing

and in your head you’re doing math like suit + handkerchief + good vocabulary + beautiful face = sink repairman?? no no no it =,,,,

and it takes you more than normal but once hakyeon turns to suddenly ask you a question about your family tree you point at him and go

“detective cha?”

and he just smiles calmly and goes, “took you long enough to notice.”

that’s how he ends up sitting at your table, asking you various questions about where your parents are from, if you know this person or that person

and to be honest you didn’t even know someone in your family went missing that long ago

but hakyeon fills you in on what he knows and when he’s done, he says goodbye in his usual manner - with a bow 

but you don’t let him leave, you grab your coat and you’re like “you’re going to go investigate more aren’t you?” and he’s a bit surprised, but nods and you’re like “ill go with you!!!” 

and as i said before he’s not to excited about partners, and he does try to discourage you as you follow him out to the car outside but you’re determined to find out what happened to your relative and hakyeon,,,,,

looking into your eyes which are clear, and passionate,,,,,,

and actually interested in what he told you decides that it would be very “un-gentlemen” of him to say no to someone who is related to the victim and all that,,,,

so he let’s you come along and revisit some old sites and stop by a museum and question some more people about their relatives who knew the person at hand

and in the end hakyeon, in his mind, has managed to piece together a story that you like ???? could never have imagined

and hakyeon,,,,who sees how well you’ve kept up - even taking to recording notes on your phone while he questioned people,,,,decides to take you to his home and help you figure out his conclusion

and his home is just as elegant and as well kept as he is, everything is in the rich colors of mahogany and silver and with a kind of victorian twist to it

and hakyeon sits you down in front of a large board on which he’s pasted old photos of your relative who went missing, newspaper clippings, handwritten notes, scraps and all that and with the efficiency and lightness of a bird he goes from photo to photo, from article to article

and explains to you exactly what he believes happened on the night of  the appearance so so very long ago

it’s almost like you’re watching a documentary narration as he explains each clue and then at the end he turns to look at you and goes

“they never disappeared, they simply left to be with their lover in another country.”

and you’re like WOW how,,,how could you just get that from all this random old stuff, but you clap your hands and go “what a story! you could write a book!”

and hakyeon blushes a bit becuase ok he’s used to people being like “you’re a genius” or “it was so simple?” but,,,,,a book?? you obviously were more focused on the case than most people,,,,

and you get up to study his board closer and hakyeon is standing close to you as you point at pictures and ask questions

and in the dim light of the room, he sees your face glow and that same spark in your eyes he noticed before

and the way in which your hair smells faintly of something sweet when you lean up beside him,,,

and hakyeon has never been one for a partner because they just get in the way,,,but you,,,,,,,

there’s something about you that doesn’t get in his way,,,instead there’s something about you that comforts him

and when you look at him, smiling and go “do you have any other unsolved cases? another story you can share with me?”

hakyeon decides if there’s one person he wouldn’t mind having a long with him for the next case - it’s you

Ken

really silly private investigator who more than anything doesn’t solve actual cases, but just finds out if spouses are cheating on each other for a good amount of money

spends most of his time in his office with his legs up on the desk playing games on his computer

has an assistant that’s always trying to clean his messes, but literally the minute ken sits down at his desk there’s gum stuck in the keyboard and coffee spilled over files

his assistants always quit like two weeks in 

and it’s when the last one quits that ken puts out an ad for another, because god help him he wouldn’t be able to do his job without someone keeping him functioning

and by functioning is reminding him to take his keys and that no, wearing the long jacket and the fedora just makes him stand out more

and you, who’s just moved to seoul and has no job prospects whatsoever, decide that an assistant job can’t be that hard

until you meet ken

who,when you first come through the door asking to speak to the person in charge, is laying under thirty newspapers taking a nap

and you have to nudge him with your foot to see if he’s awake

and ken’s like OH RiGHT ,,, i DIDNT GO HOME LAST NIGHT!!! and you’re like yikes who is this crazy dude

but then ken dusts himself off and you’re like ok he’s kinda cute not the point and you’re like “where’s ??? investigator ken???” and ken grins and points at himself and is like “speaking!!”

and you’re like holy shit ok um and you’re like “im here for the assistants job here’s my resume-” but ken is just like “no need, you’re hired.  the first weeks a trial week though so no pay, but i will take you out to a complimentary lunch~”

and you’re like um ok but why are you here shouldn’t  you be investigating cases?? and ken laughs like “oh it’s alright, i already know that all our clients are all cheating on each other i just need to get photo proof but i can do it tomorrow”

and you’re like??????? what so you don’t solve like murders

and ken is like “an have to look at dead bodies? no sirrie”

and from that moment you’re like this,,,,,,this isn’t going to be an easy (or normal) job

and it isn’t because two weeks after you work there you’re really thinking of quitting because ken is like a child, both with clients and with you always making bad jokes and slipping over the trash he has scattered

but what stops you is that ken comes through the door with his hands both in casts and you’re like ????? and he’s like “i fell down the stairs in the subway,,,,,,” and you’re like how are you going to work ??? you need to take photos ???? can you use your foot

and ken just gives you a grin,,,,a very sly grin

and you end up in his car - driving to some shady looking street - holding the camera ken is supposed to be holding and ken’s like “you see the guy coming around the corner, that’s mrs. park’s husband, now see the lady over there? that’s his lover - quick snap a photo wait not yet ok,,,,now!”

and you try to take photos but you’re like kEN WONT WE GET ARRESTED

and he’s like no no i have license but you’re like OK I DONT THO

and you see mrs. park’s husband turn and you duck, stumbling a bit and falling into ken’s lap face first

and you hear him burst out into a chuckle and you’re like hitting his thigh like DONT and he’s like sorry sorry this is just so compromised,,,

and you get what he’s implying but you’re like DO N O T even think about it

but then you try to sit back up and ken’s like “don’t, he’s still looking” and you like move a bit so your face isn’t in his lap but like your leaning your head and shoulder against his chest,,,,which is broad btw and quite,,,,,muscular,,,,

but yeah you sit there like that for a bit and ken’s like “ok we’re clear!”

and you sit back up but the client’s gone and you’re like “i don’t know if i took enough pictures-”

and ken’s just like “if you ever need to cuddle into my chest again, feel free. i’d hold you but both my arms are broken and-”

and you’re like “don’t make me break your arms AGAIN”

,,,,,,,,,but at the same time like it wasn’t ALL that bad,,,,,

Leo & Hyuk

leo is the veteran detective who has seen it all and is overworked and tired, while hyuk is the fresh blood detective who wants to pull his gun out every chance and go on high speed chases

and leo is supposed to mentor hyuk, but in reality hyuk doesn’t listen to a word he says

and leo has given up so he just let’s hyuk do whatever

but every now and then he has to hold himself back from knocking hyuk upside the head with a case file (sometimes he can’t hold himself and just. does it)

but hyuk always gets his revenge by replacing the sugar in leo’s morning coffee with salt

 which ends up with leo spitting the coffee all over himself and fellow policeman ravi and ken rolling on the floor laughing while hyuk runs for his life out of the precinct 

the two of them end up being assigned a case of a repeat jewel thief who has stolen from over five separate malls in the past month

and leo tells hyuk that no - he doesn’t need to bring a gun with him to the crime scene

but hyuk insists that the thief might still be there and leo is like yes, but we want the thief alive - but it’s too late hyuk is asking if the SWAT team will really show up and everyone’s like NO and he’s like “being a cop actually sucks”

so hyuk and leo show up to the last store that was robbed only a couple of hours before

and you’re still in the mall, wearing the stolen bracelet and watching from afar as the police scatter trying to figure out how you broke in and all that

and you just think it’s really funny,,,how hard they try and how they never get anywhere

 but you don’t notice the two new policeman, but hyuk nudges leo and shifts his eyes toward you - the sparkling bracelet on your arm only visible for a moment before it gets hidden by your jackets sleeve again

and hyuk and leo silently make an agreement,,,,but as always leo goes through with the plan hiding behind a pillar while hyuk,,,,,,,

hyuk decides that leo can go screw himself and runs straight toward you, going “hands up!”

and you, well hello you’re a thief, you get up quickly and push a trashcan over towards hyuk as you make your escape

and hyuk trip and leo screams at him for being an idiot as he chases after you

and so if leo catches you, he manages to corner you in a stairwell where the door you’ve reached is blocked

and you’re like,,,,,,,,,, trying to pretend that someone planted to bracelet on you after the robbery

but leo is watching you with narrowed eyes so you know he doesn’t believe you so you’re like “ok, fine. arrest me.” and leo does put you in handcuffs but he’s like “tell me how you managed to rob the store” and you just grin and shake your head like “uh-uh you can’t get me to talk, uncuff me and i will.”

and leo’s too seasoned of a policeman to know you’ll just sock him and run for it so instead he uncuffs one and cuffs the other to his own arm and he’s like “there, you’re practically free.” and you’re like lmao you call this free??

and he’s like “im not an idiot, but if you want both hands behind your bac-”

and you’re like fine whatever let’s walk out like this - but as leo takes a step forward you yank the cuffs and he teeters backwards with you and as he falls, you fall ontop of him

and leo is close to your face and you’re like “oops~ i didn’t mean it~” and he just,,,,well you’re close and you’re not exactly,,,,,bad to look at 

plus you’re pressed up against him and he’s like “get off” and you take a moment before you do and you don’t hesitate to notice how red he’s gone in the face

but then you also, very easily undo your cuff with the key you stole from his backpocket when you made him fall

and leo doesn’t see until he hears the ‘clink’ of the cuffs unlocking and he looks down but you’re already dashing up the stairs and laughing and you’re like

“i hope we see each other again officer-  i also left a giiiiiiiift~”

and leo is too stunned and angry, but he looks down at his wrist and sees that you slipped the bracelet onto his cuffed hand as well and he’s like HOW THE HELL

but all he’s left with is your laughters echo

and if hyuk catches you it’s because he’s still faster and more agile than you and ends up tackling you to the floor before you can escape

and as he’s arresting you, leo appears and hyuk just sticks out his tongue like he’s five like “hehe hyung i got them and you didn’t because your old and can’t run~~~” and leo is like shut it boy

back at the station hyuk and leo are questioning you about the other robberies and you’re like not interested in anything leo is saying

instead you keep making eyes at hyuk

and hyuk is kinda like,,,,,,what,,,,,because he’s oblivious until you’re like “id like to speak to officer hyuk. alone.”

and leo says something under his voice but leaves and hyuk sits down and is like “are you going to tell me how you did it?”

and you’re innocently like “did what? by the way are you single?”

and hyuk snorts like “huh, no!” and you can tell he’s lying 

because he’s still pretty young and the way you’re looking at him gets him a bit ,,,,,,hot under the collar if i may say

and you like lean over the table as much as you can and you’re like 

“officer hyuk, you’re cute. i think i know what i want to rob next.”

and hyuk is like “ah-aha! so you admit it, you did rob those places?”

and you just smile and bring your face a bit closer and you’re like

“can’t you uncuff me?~ it hurts~”

and hyuk is like “i,,,,,i can’t do that but if you sit down-”

and you’re like “i don’t want to~ i want to be closer to you.”

and hyuk swallows because,,,ok,,,,,your eyes are,,,,,,so,,,,pretty,,,but no you’re a thief. he just needs your confession

and so again he’s like “what do you mean when you say you know what you’re going to rob next?”

and you just giggle and hyuk has to fan himself because wow was your shirt this lowcut when they brought you in?

and you pull back slowly as if you’re going to sit

but then you stop and lean back in and you’re like

“i don’t steal jewelry or whatever. i only steal boys hearts~ and you’re next officer hyuk -”

and you tilt your head as if you’re going to lean up for a kiss 

and hyuk is sweating now but he pulls back and is like,,,,,,,, “officer leo will handle it from here!”

and he runs out with his hand over his mouth because,,,,,,goddammit you’re a criminal but why are you so ,,,,,,,,,,,, enticing,,,,,

Ravi 

really clumsy and easily emotional policeman who can’t work cases like murder or kidnapping because ok he’ll cry at literally anything

but it’s ok!! he doesn’t mind doing the usual responding to cats stuck in trees or loose grandmas wandering the park calls

and he’ll try to help anyone out with any problem - big or small

even though he looks intimidating and though, the whole tattoos and bright hair

he’s actual a soft guy at heart 

and some of the other policemen make fun of him a bit, but for the most part people tend to take care of him at the station because he has the best intentions 

you come in one day with your friends who is terrified because their little brother didn’t come in from school yet and it’s been two hours

and while every other policeman rushes past you and tells you to wait a moment, policeman ravi immediately pulls you both aside and asks what happened

and your friend barely manages to say something before she’s in tears, so you explain for her 

and ravi scribbles down some notes and nods along and he’s like ‘ok, let’s go to her brothers school first.’ 

and your friend wants to come, but she’s in hysterics so you tell her to wait at the station while you and policeman ravi investigate

and as you’re leaving you’re like “are you sure there’s nothing important you’re bust wi-”

and ravi waves his hand like no- there’s nothing more important than a a missing child 

and you nod because he’s right, but also like,,,,,,,are cops usually this kind??

but yeah the both of you show up at the school that says your friends brother left by himself hours ago when classes ended

and you decide there’s only two places he hangs out - the park or library so you try the library

and ravi almost turns the whole place over, even manages to knock down a display of books as he looks for the kid

and he’s so devoted that watching him makes you work even harder too

and so it’s a no in the library so you two split up to search the park when you reach it

and when you meet up ,,,,,, you light up because ravi is there,,,,, holding your friends kid brother on his shoulders 

and you’re like you found him!!!

and ravi is like “i did!! he was hiding on the playground, but i let him play with my badge and he agreed to come out!!”

and you’re like oh thank god, it’s good he’s safe!!

and you three head back to the station where you friend jumps up when she sees her brother and she’s like @ policeman ravi like how do i ever thank you

and she reaches up to kiss his cheek and ravi is like !!!! oh

but he just touches the skin and smile shyly

and you like look around but then lean up and kiss his cheek as well except this time ravi turns a bright BRIGHT red

and is like “t-t-thank you???” and you’re like no no thank you !!!! and he’s like ,,,,,still blushing

and then you remember to get the badge back from the little boy and you pin it back onto ravi’s lapel

and as you’re pinning it on he’s like “i could get used to this,,,,,”

and you’re like “,,,,hmm????”

and ravi is like OH NOTHING I SAID NOTHING

but his face betrays his feelings and you 

plus the entire damn world knows that 

Hongbin

undercover detective 

everyone believes anything he says because well,,,,look at him,,,,,could a face like that lie to you???

the answer is yes it could hongbin is not only a good detective but also a very good actor

was asked to pose as a bartender at a club where the police believed there was illegal drug activity and he’s been doing it for a couple of months now that all the regulars have become pretty well acquainted with him

is the heartthrob of the station he works at and,,,,,at the bar he works out

basically anywhere he goes people are bound to find him attractive and therefore he’s always the “most popular” on holidays

from gifts from fellow detective to gifts from the shady people who think he’s just a simple bartender

the other detectives have a joke about how hongbin won’t even need to call a bust, one of the suppliers will just gift him the drugs one day

you’re also a detective, set to go undercover with hongbin just as extra security measure 

and you’re supposed to just be like another regular who comes by the bar for drinks and stays at the end of the bar where if hongbin comes over to whisper something only you two can hear

but for the most part you don’t interact as to not bring up suspicion

until one night you and hongbin are both minding your own business, doing your jobs separately 

when one of the suspected drug dealers sits next to you and starts being unnecessarily touchy

and you’re a detective, you know how to handle this so you just reply calmly to his advances and say you need to step out for a moment

and hongbin notices and watches from the corner of his eye as you leave,,,,,,but then the guy follows you

and hongbin has always gotten a bad read on this guy but he knows he shouldn’t leave his post or he could blow his cover

,,,,but also you’re a fellow detective to he makes up some excuse about taking out the trash

and he goes outback to see the guy has pinned you to the wall and he’s about to pull him off when you push the guy off with your foot and knock him unconscious with one swing to the cheek

and as he like blacks out on the floor hongbin is like “,,,,,,,you,,,,i was worried about you but,,,,,,i guess for no reason”

and you just smile and shrug and you’re like “it’s fine, good to know you have my back - but you could have given us both away.”

and hongbin gets a bit red and he’s like youRE RIGHT but you know,,,a fellow detectives safety is much more important,,,,,

and you’re like that’s so sweet but go back in before they get suspicious

and hongbin nods as you like squat down next to the guy you knocked out and check his pulse to see if he’s alive

and hongbin inside is like,,,,,wow,,,,they’re,,,,,,,really strong about you

and tbh he can’t stop thinking about you even though they take you off the case because you did knock out one of the suspected dealers so you  can’t show yourself in that bar

but when the bust happens, hongbin is glad to see that you’re on the task force

and you two help bring down the drug smuggling business in a police raid

but as you’re hauling away all the guys the one who’d tried to hurt you calls you a choice name as you’re handcuffing him and hongbin out of nowhere ‘accidentally’ knocks his elbow into the guy’s face and you’re like

???????

and hongbin, whose never been super confrontational is like,,,,,,, “sorry, i still feel kind of bad about that night from before”

and you’re giggling like ,,,,,ok cute,,,,,don’t worry though we won in the end!!!

and hongbin is like yeah!!!! and it’s cute you’re both like kinda smiling to yourselves

but you end up smiling even more when you find out your next undercover job involves the two of you ‘pretending’ to be lovers and well,,,,,,you know,,,,,,,pretend might end up being something more hehe,,,,,