#dont mind the background hahaha

[highoncatfood]

whaaaat dooooo yoooooouuuu feeeeeel abooooouut vivilara. (slash twimare slash vivia x halara.)

i wish we got more of them honestlyyyy!! i dont rlly ship it that much bcuz they have like 3 interactions but theres sth abt them. theyre cute i call them nightlight

[alicenpai]

forgotten playthings, forgotten child 🧸

Jack from my series Lost & Found Children 🤍🖤

i hope to showcase more of my ocs in 2024 hehe! im FINALLY getting around to finishing art i left to rot in my folders (the pandora hearts drawing last month being one of em). if you saw the WIP of THIS particular drawing 2 yrs ago... no you didn’t 💔

my charas are very personal to me, but tbh ive always been a bit hesitant to share their stories. over time i realized ... it’s kind of a shame to not make art from one’s heart. which is something i regret a lot year after year whenever i make my yearly art summary reflection. i'm like damn i need to make more emotionally evoking pieces!!! so i'm gonna keep going in 2024 with that in mind ❤ i have to admit, although this drawing started 2 years ago, and there's a lot i would do differently if i were to supposedly draw it now - this concept goes pretty hard.

the final drawing stayed pretty close to the original concept which im so relieved for! i think part of the reason why i left it on the backburner for so long, was the fact that i included so many details, and i was unsure of how to colour the "background". (not to mention stuff like cons & real life getting in the way).

i'm glad for discovering a really handy watercolour brush, it's helped me a lot in my last few drawings, bc i dont have to colour in each detail. especially since the witch hat atelier: eternal ephemera zine piece i did. otherwise if i coloured this back in 2022 with my usual method, i'm pretty sure i really would have included a shading and highlight layer for each individual toy... HAHAHA. much to think about

oh yeah and in the last few days of drawing this i was listening to some visual kei bands. i love how some of the band members literally have been performing since like the 90s or something and DO NOT AGE and are literal vampires. every so often i fall back into visual kei (you can tangentially thank aggretsuko although yes i know it's not the same). and i kind of realized. i like Jack's edgy design so much because he looks like. a visual kei esque vampire.

[hearts-4-vicky]

hi my loves 😛 back with wony this time!!!🫶🏼

warnings: g!p reader, dom reader, 7th member of ive reader, established relationship, pet names, sub wony, sensitive wony, unnie kink, unprotected sex, squirting, nipple sucking, creampie, masturbation, praise🤫🧏, yujin comes outta no where😭

🙏 not proofread so😝

i feel like wony would DEFINITELY masturbate to her gfs fancams when you’re gone cuz babygirl so needy🥺 but she’d be so loud??? like sweetheart, lets calm it down a bit🥺🙏

While your ‘LOVE DIVE’ fancam was playing in the background, wony had two of her long fingers in her cunt, trying to mimic your rough thrusts but nothing could ever compare to you😔 Before she could add a third, her door opened “Wony? Princess, I’m bac- Oh!” there stood the woman plaguing her mind, you. “You jerking off to me baby? miss me that much huh?“ you smirked, slamming her door shut and walkin toward her, stripping with every step you took, “unnie…. help your princess? please?” wony whined, looking at you with her big, innocent eyes🥺 how could you say no to your babygirl when she was looking at you like that? Not wanting to waste a second, you get between her spread legs and get your cock out of your boxers, resting your tip on her folds. gripping her hips for balance, you look at her flushed face, waiting for approval😘 “tell me what you want baby” she didn’t realize you were even speaking, so focused on your features🥺 like a siren luring a sailor into her trap with her song, you had wonyoung memorized. from your head to your feet, wony loved every bit of it, every bit of you🥺🙏🙏🙏🙏 (me when ME WHEN)

“Baby? you listening?” giving a hip a lil tap, “huh? oh! sorry unnie, you’re just… really pretty” wonyoung whispers with the cutest smile🥺🥺🥺🥺 (i want her) “but, please hurry and fuck me” 😛 leaning forward to whisper in her ear “anything for you, wonyoung.” you hear wony’s breath hitch once you push your hips forward to be deep inside her. grunting at her tightness, you start to move, causing wonyoung to moan with occasional whimpers of pleasure. “takin unnie so good my gorgeous girl, doing so well” you groan into her neck, placing kisses on her every part 🥺with every thrust, you went deeper into wonyoung’s cunt. you move her legs to rest on your shoulders and to be deeper in her. with this new position wonyoungs moans turned into squeals and cries of your name!!!🥺🥺🥺🥺

"a-ah! keep going unnie! stretching me s-soo good!!” her hands found the back of your head, pulling you down to her chest ❤️ circling her hard nipple with your tongue and rubbing the other, never slowing down your pace❤️❤️❤️ it seemed too much for wonys sensitive body as she felt a familiar knot in her stomach🥺🥺🥺🥺

“gah— unnie! s’too much…! s’too m-much for wony!” “c’mon baby, give- ugh, unnie one more? sound so fucking pretty, my girl”

resuming your pounding, wonyoung’s moans get louder, anticipating her release for a second time “unnie! FUCK!” wony had never came that hard ever in her life, tightening with every second passing by “shit, wony! gonna cum in you baby, fill you up with unnie’s cum, doll” with one last slam into wonyoung’s cunt, your cock exploded in her, fucking your load deeper and deeper into her warmth🤫🧏 wonyoungs vision started to get blurry, nearly passing out with every thrust into her sensitive pussy “s’too m-much unnie… s’too much…” she sobbed out, nails digging into your back, drifting off to sleep as your thrust came to a stop🥺 “My gorgeous girl, I love you with all my heart” (ME WHEN ME WHENNNNN) placing soft kisses on her face🥺🥺🥺🥺 pulling her into your arms, you turned so wonyoung was laying on you

“Yo, can I bor- WHAT THE FUCK.” Ive’s leader had walked into quite the sight, a naked, sleeping wonyoung and your cock still in her. “hi yujinnie! what’d you nee— why are you naked-“ “me next right”

hehe silly! me after texting my ex!!! whoops!!!! hahaha😂😂😂😂 (i miss you sm come back pls)

love you guys, stay safe, and dont text ur ex💋

-Vicky

[randaccidents]

Twenty-seven songs are yours Yet you still want for more?

I made some lyric posters for CCCC! (cause I was bored in class lol) They came out a lot like actual posters and Im honestly quite proud of them.

[I have not tested them as phone wallpapers yet BUT feel free to use these as phone wallpapers! Otherwise ask permission (shovel)]

Tiny things Im happy about (cause I wanna yell about stuff, itll go into the read more but theres Easter Eggs in there about stuff that literally writes itself but I couldnt fit in and hints to some of the deeper symbolism I used):

I started this because I wanted to make something really skeletal and visceral for Heart and Mind and it just went from there

Yes that is the Entire Reason why I used realistic body elements I had to separately import that heart in

Each of them has an element represents them - its the only element that is in front of the lyrics

Speaking of, Whole is special in their represented element (hint: Whole is only a medium for songs)

Having to make up something for Soul and Whole thats, yknow, a body part (or not in the end for Whole)

The lyrics in each poster is something that the character has said about themselves, said in reference to themselves in the songs or represents a view that they hold (mostly)

Speaking of I believe I represented almost every song/motif possible? I know I skipped Taken for a Ride - I think thats the only song not represented in at least one poster actually. huh. It is in the post though (I did that before I realised I didnt include Taken for a Ride)

Does this make the posters album posters instead lmao

The lyrics are also in order of song appearance!

The names of some of the fonts I went through are: Give you Glory for Soul, and Kollektiff for Whole. If the fonts weren't too small I wouldve kept them qwq the joke literally writes itself

Speaking of fonts, Souls final font is literally empty, zoom in and youll see that its made of only lines and no fill

The electric and acoustic guitar are flipped in the Whole poster. Thats cause uhhhh I planned it I dont have to make amends hahaha (I done fucked up thats why and Im lazy to fix it now)

Ironically, Heart and Mind were the easiest posters

Soul was meant to have a grey background but it was so fugly I just couldnt let it sit

Whole was a last minute addition, there were only supposed to be three in this series

I started Whole's poster expecting to lack lyrics. I have been proven VERY WRONG he has the smallest font size (and I thought Soul had a lot)

Whole is also the only one with coloured lyrics; HMS have their lyrics in black/white/grey

Mind has the least lyrics about himself (cause he spends so much of his songs dissing Heart lmao)

Canva doesnt have noose images :( /j/j/j

I absolutely forgot some of the tiny things but Im just happy about it and want to dump it out :) Maybe someone else would appreciate it too

[lemongogo]

what's your process for coloring like? the look of that elendira is so textured and interesting, i can't figure out how you do it

AA THANK YOUU ^__^ !! textures & brushwork are my favorite things abt my art, so im happy you find it interesting hehe . its SOO cool to look at & so much fun to draw imo

i prefer to color by building in layers , if that makes sense 🤔!! hundreds of them !! such that i'm always drawing on Top of previous layers, working from big & messy blocks of color to, eventually, small and refined blocks of color until it feels processed enough. as a result, i rarely ever erase (!!) and i rarely ever draw lineart aside from the initial sketch

a rough, patchy textured brush is key here, as it'll give you dimension and variability w/ your colors. i recommend "Brush and various sets of fountain pen style (万年筆風ブラシと色々セット)" on Clip Studio (ID: 1679706) !! :3

im terrible with explanations though, so i'm going to show a step by step of that elendira drawing if you dont mind :3

sketch layer !! because i mostly render through color alone, i try to make this as close to the finished thing as possible . ^__^ i hateee drawing the same thing over and over and like the expressivity and movement of my sketches anyways , so the more i can preserve at this step, the better. if u were to look at a side by side of my sketches and finished pieces, youd notice a lot of those og lines are present in the final drawing :3

2. flats !! pretty self explanatory, but the solid background gives me an idea of where the figure begins & ends while the colors themselves help distinguish whats what . i stick to ambient lighting @ this point because im usually not sure what i want to do with the overall palette or lighting yet . having two tones (ex, dark and light in her hair or dark and light on her skin) can also help in identifying key features early on that u wanna preserve. as you build layer by layer, sometimes these areas will remain untouched and i think it makes for a rly lovely feel at the end

3. start blocking !!! to be totally honest with you, i dont really know what i do here HAHAHA. like i just scribble the shit out of it, usually focusing on what i might want to do with lighting (ex: grey areas to accentuate folds in her costume). i think i like to start "erasing" the sketch where possible by coloring on top of it .. like if you look at her hat or her arm , you can tell i'm starting to get a sense of the shapes i like vs the ones i dont. it's at this point that the final image starts to emerge in my mind , like im gradually pulling her from a tarpit of scribbles until shes recognizable lol. chipping away at the marble until i can free her. tbh.

4. keep blockingg...when u think u are done , block some more . as you can probably see, the brushwork becomes more intentional as i add more shape, with specific focus on line weight. this is also where the patchiness of that textured brush comes in - notice how none of the colors seem totally uniform (ex: the red cross or the original sketchlines for her waist). you can see bits and pieces of the layers underneath pushing through and i really like that !! ^__^ its very fun and sketchy to me, so i try to keep them around. those areas are also great to colorpick from, because it'll give you "new" colors to work w/ that are already part of your palette.

5. GRADIENTS & GRADIENT MAPS !! TONE CURVE !! COLOR PICKER !! this is the best stage tbh. flatten your image so its all on one layer and just go crazy with all the color settings in ur program. add gradient layers and set them to darken, or overlay, or subtract, orrr. lighten or dodge glow or divide or soft/hard light.! OR!! edit the hue, saturation, luminosity and contrast.and then color pick from these edits, block even more on top of ur image, flatten, color edit again, etc. etc. until u feel satisfied.

ANYWAYSS . i hope that makes sense @__@ sry i wrote this out and deleted it like 23 times trying to make it make More sense but thats what ive got HAHA i hope its useful though :3 !

[mikohaelzz]

hehe i didnt know if you wanted to be asked but:

What's your favourite thing to draw?

Do you draw more today than you did in the past, or do you draw less?

Do you prefer to keep your art personal, or do you like drawing things for other people?

🫶you dont have to answer if you dont want to ofc!!🫶

HELLOO!, i didn't really asked for it but ok HAHAHA (i don't mind btw), thanks for asking!

🌈 What's your favourite thing to draw?

Damn, that's a hard question, people i guess?, i'm defenitly not good at backgrounds

Personally, I like to draw my favorite characters, or directly prickcest things, I'm traumatized

🌈Do you draw more today than you did in the past, or do you draw less?

I think I have stopped drawing radically, I only make a few drawings. Besides, I don't have much free time anymore. 😭

🌈Do you prefer to keep your art personal, or do you like drawing things for other people?

Sometimes I like to share some of my drawings, although only when I am satisfied with the result, of course :'c

i'll try to draw more, sorry but i'm sick and i almost die🤒

THANKS FOR ASKING, POTETOSARADAS 😸💕 (i really love your art)

[queerdraws]

HELLOOOO I hope you've had a good day :D I was just wondering how you end up with the colours for ur compositions :O? Are you the type to use a lot of colour adjustment layers (multiply, overlay, etc) to get at a satisfying hue, or do you just eyeball directly from the colour wheel? I remember you saying for one of ur pieces that u eyedropped directly from like,,, a dead corpse of some animal XD but i assume that isnt ur process for everything hahaha. Do you use a lot of references for the specific vibe you wanna convey?

ANYWAYS keep up the amazing work!!!

YOOO!!! I didn't recognize u at first omg (p.s. ty!)

The way I made the zolu playlist drawings isn't my Usual drawing / coloring process but I formed some sort of Strategy for it

Actually I think sharing the literal refs I used for each image would be fun and maybe demystify the art process

Pics below cut! 😊

I mostly eyeballed from the colorwheel. I think I only used color adjustment layers on Chikai and Around the World to get a soft glowy effect in the clouds. BUT!! I'll frequently play around with adjusting the colors through the hue/saturation/luminosity sliders, or I'll go in to Tone Curve and play around with the levels until things are looking how I want. Especially for backgrounds

I also colorpicked from ref photos (like you mentioned w the lion eating a carcass). I GENERALLY tried to avoid overly referencing any one pic, but Simple song and Around the World were the two worst offenders 😓

---Color Choice---

I went by pure gut feeling at first while listening to the song, how the instruments sounded and what color they were

And then after that, I'd try and refine it a little more by Overall Vibes (making it feel more Glowy) (adjusting how colors interact w eachother like toning down a too-saturated color or making skin tones warmer or cooler to contrast w the background)

And then i gathered references n either colorpicked from them or I used them as vibe inspiration as i was painting

---More General Color Stuff...?--- This section is riddled with over-explanation.

-> To make a color stand out as Really Saturated, I surround it w neutral colors, esp contrasting ones (e.g. if I want a red to pop, I put it next to a cool gray)

-> if the overall painting is really warm (like, everything seems cast in a warm light) and i need to have a specific cool-tone color (like green), I take one of the warm colors and drag it a ways Towards the cool color I need (so , colorpick a red, and drag the slider until it's on yellow) and then desaturate it a lot. I then test that color on the piece and see if it Looks green. Same goes in reverse (cool-tone paintings that need a warm color) So, Like...for example: Zoro's hair is some really weird colors.

-> I try to limit eyebuzz (places where two colors meet, where the hue [tone] is different, but the brightness [value] of the color is almost exactly the same. Basically, if you made everything grayscale, you dont want two grays of the same color right next to eachother [or, you want to do it intentionally?]) (called eyebuzz bc at really high saturation, two colors of the same value almost vibrate next to eachother)

(Sidenote: I think "eyebuzz" mustve just been a term my high school art teacher used bc i don't see any relevant results for it on google... there's probably a more professional term for this lol)

Examples:

I esp try to limit eyebuzz between foreground and background objects

I know some artists are intense enough about contrast that they toggle grayscale on n off as they're painting. I just kinda eyeball it.

-------

This ended up really long again oh my goddd I think those are the main things on my mind when choosing colors...?

Hope this is helpful 😅

[diodellet]

ooohh that ask game has some interesting questions hmm how abt 16, 18, and 23?

i am realizing just how much this ask game is making me bare my soul goshhh (/not srs), thanks for sending me an ask, bibi!

16. What makes you immediately close a fic that otherwise seemed good?

hm...well, most of the time i try to stick it out even if i'm not enjoying the fic from the first few sentences. like, maybe it's just me but a lot of the first words of a fic tends to be the (for lack of a better word) "the gunk" that precedes the actual story? like some stories just have slow starts, but they do get gud.

but to answer the q, i guess stuff that makes me roll my eyes at a fic, in the context of x readers would probably have to be:

disclaimer: most of the time, i don't mind reading these. but there are just moments where they bother me as i'm reading

reader getting carried bridal style (i dont like it, i hate it. id rather be carried like a sack of potatoes. or id rather be carried like a goat by its shepherd. but i do like seeing characters getting princess-carried) just carry me like this instead 🤧🤧👇

royalty AU++CEO/office/corporate-setting AU (like secret princess of a kingdom or being a secretary, for example) i'm not a big fan of those kinds of settings. like ok sure a chara can look good in business formal or in some fine furs, but once the eye candy wears off thats when i exit the fic oops.

fics centered around marriage: i don't really enjoy reading proposals. also thinking of how the rings, the dresses, and the flowers look is hard bcs of my (partial?) aphantasia, but weddings Are Pretty Fun as a background setting. overall, i think what bothers me most is that the chara loses a bit of their personality after they get wed together with the reader.

^^actually in relation to this... im not that big of a fan of prom/dance settings, they both read very similarly, especially since the reader tends to be placed in the more passive role of being asked out. (but when you make it angsty or hurt/comfort, ok i will read it i'm a simple girl)

Oh and ig this is just me wishing for more in the Imposter-SAGAU genre of fanfic (i mean i'm still looking around, i don't feel desperate enough to write smth of my own), but i kinda wish the charas weren't so doe-eyed and quick to apologize to the reader. like, i get the feeling of wanting to write The Good Bits Immediately (e.g. being fawned over, getting to lord that blunder over the characters) but the potential of slowburn trauma recovery and developing a relationship from straight-up antagonism is Right There.

18. What media do you want to get into because of artists/writers you like?

i think i'd want to try reading more poetry? like, if i rb a lot of web weaving, i gotta know sumn other than "deep" pop lyrics (u wont find me saying nice things about ms sw*ft). so far i'm thinking of starting with ocean vuong and richard siken (basic ik but i mean, their works are good)

dunmeshi! i've been putting it off for forever 🙈🙈 (<-girlie watched frieren and forgor abt dunmeshi bcs they got yorushika to do the 2nd OP) but senshi,,,, SENSHI THE MAN THAT U ARE,,,,

Oh! and i'm rlly curious about alien stage! my sibling's dipping into it and he told me it was basically america's got talent x the promised neverland. and he said the magic words "toxic yaoi" and "doomed yuri," i Gotta watch it atp. (also like, carole and tuesday rearranged my brain, im ready to put a sadder spin on it😤)

23. What would you make a 5 hour video essay on, if you had enough time and motivation?

as soon as i read this all my hyperfixations have: left the server HAHAHA

maybe in terms of recent ones, i could try analyzing madds buckley's my love is sick. i wrote about that album for a final paper in a basic music elective, but i was constrained to only 3 pages so i only talked about 2-3 songs. but i could pretend to be a music major and regale ppl with how the leitmotifs tie together and completely destroy me add a new layer of meaning to the songs on subsequent listens. Also like, these songs just Get It (not sure what "it" is exactly, but there's smth related to first love and love lost*)

(but atm im just yoinking songs from there to use for fic/chapter titles, i plan on using one for this ruggie timeloop angst fic im plotting out anyway)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated art and fic)

[bbboar]

tagged by @monimolimnion (thank you!!!)

last song: immortal by marina. Its one of my favorites of hers

favourite color: i dont have a fave, i just like colours in general hahaha big into pastels and jewel tones and hot pink

currently watching: dungeon meshi, carol and the end of the world, and baby reindeer. The latter is a bit heavy for me so idk if ill continue. Im also looking forward to dead boy detectives. Ive had them at the back of my mind ever since the spin off was teased in doom patrol, but i suppose with sandman being made, they didnt have the rights anymore so they recast/redid the whole thing

sweet/savoury/spicy: I like them all although lately ive been craving spicy stuff

current obsession(s): my ocs lol im always cooking in the background of my thoughts. Currently ive been alternating between:

Devotion. Shes a firbolg aasimar cleric. She's sweet and a bit culty. I redesigned her bcs i was annoyed at having yet another human-like dnd pc and in redesigning her i fell in love with her

Made a unicorn oc to ship with my dragon oc. They met at a party while they were both in human form and bonded over being cheeky little shits and being kept by humans. Their contrasting visuals (rough and unkempt vs elegant and dainty) scratch a particular design itch for me

Blue and Octavian, my werewolf/vampire couple. I always have them on the backburner bcs i love to think about their dynamics at different stages of their relationshp

I tag @briarrolfe @so-boop-tac-u-lar @teeniepaws @hamthezombie @edamahun @jellyfishegg @kirtini @caitlinlidae @suuvesi and whoever else wants to do this

[formula-fun]

Ah! (lightbulb) we definitely have very different understandings of angst, or I was more thinking about relationship-wise because the current fic feels like the story of them coming together despite everything on themselves and between each other. And internal and external perception of gender roles, external expectations and judgment hahahaha is simply part of the “everything”. I definitely is not expecting fairytale happily ever after (not that my expectations should matter).

It’s not pretentious at all hahaha, maybe it’s just even though world-building is very important for me even in fanfic (I get stuck thinking about logistics a lot of the time) , I still looked past the heaviness of gender roles, expectations and judgement because it feels like something jumping on the back of their minds and the story constantly, but when I am way too focused on “how they are feeling” instead of “how they are going to make this work” it’s kind of shoved out the way.

Though now typing this out is really making it like I’m just ignoring the elephant in the room ha. I do really like the “huge fucking mess” though, besides the glorious horse metaphors, your way of writing and very smooth incorporation into personality and interactions make the underlying discussion so much more interesting. Like it’s a very important part of the story but not center-staged with neon flashing lights, instead has the constant lurking in the shadows air to it. It is technically heavy but both of them thrive on challenges don’t they!

Oh! Or maybe I have always associated the heaviness in the background for Max in the story with his father which is being counterproductive to him embracing himself, and Charles with embracing himself, this actually is the more specific version of “gender roles, expectations and judgement”.

Forgive me for thinking that even if the plot is trying to gender stereotypes into mush they could still get ostentatious diamond engagement rings hahahhahah, maybe it’s just me thinking this would be funny, especially during the time they would literally be facing media judgement about how the “omega wife” should be home with the child not out fucking f1 with his greatness. It could (or not) be in line with Charles change in dress style!

Sorry I pretty much just wrote down my very nonlinear thought process.

Happy Wednesday! (At least we are pull through half the week now right?)

Xxxxxxxxxooooooooooxxxxoo

Hi hi again!! mwah

Yeah I think that probably explains it!! i mean it'll probably all result in some tension in their relationship but you know...it'll be fine. idk. we'll have to wait and see!! once again i am answering your ask too early in the morning and dont have the braincells i am so sorry

i do completely get you about worldbuilding too, I tend to think about writing in a really mathematical/analytical way in terms of how people and relationships fit together so i know it's easy to get caught up in logistics!! theres a lot of worldbuilding cmoing up now for me as well though because the last chapter has to do with like how mating works vs how weddings work and things like that. like mating ceremonies were already mentioned and they're different than beta weddings, but im still working out what exactly they look like. Also how gender works for kids since gender and biological sex don't really have anything to do with each other in this universe? I think i've figured out what its going to be like but i dont know for sure yet. fun fun fun

but yeah anyway i like the way you put it because they themselves exist kind of in an internal relationship and that's where the story is being told, but everything else is an external pressure that's guiding them in certain ways or making them feel certain things. Without all of that they'd probably be fine, but there's a lot going on outside of just them and we're not so much seeing those things as we are seeing how it changes them as people. So 'how they're feeling' is really what the story is about, but it's all a direct result of those things that are lurking in the shadows.

and hashshahd i'll get back to you about diamond rings!! i guess it all depends on what exists in their bubble vs what exists in the external bubble!! at this point they're starting to prioritize only what makes them feel good and completely put aside things that please external forces (max finally told his dad he needed space, charles wants to court max, charles is exploring his own self-expression in ways that make him happy--all of these things directly contradict what other people expect or want from charles and max, but they're both doing them to make themselves feel happier or more secure, which in turn makes their relationship more secure), so going forward that will probably be what they continue to do. if they want to get beta married and throw a big celebration then they'll do it, but they probably won't do it just for the sake of appearances/to show off! it's more about doing what makes them happy

but also my brain was like melted the other day from this stupid academic paper about public vs private life and i think that is now unforutnately influencing this fic. the public/private life academic paper is an external pressure on my internal relationship with my own fic. this is why we cant have nice things

anyway sorry for this long ass answer, thank god its wednesday tho and i hope youre having a great week!!!! sorry if none of this makes any sense but please know i enjoy your questions so so so much <333

[ethernetmeep]

i seem to sometimes forget others hadn’t had interactions as a child like i did, hence why my discussion of childhood during lunch today was somewhat awkward.. because of my own faults, it seems. i had forgotten to realize my subject matter was socially inappropriate for the area. i, uh.. feel really bad about this. like, i am so fucking sorry bad. im still thinking about it, both the memories from young age & the cafeteria interaction, although primarily the memories..

i will, uh, separate this, because it’s definitely needed. don’t read this, it isn’t worth it. move along now, unless you crave to know about my adolescence and its awful properties

a wooden house, wooden bedroom. big bed, body pillow with various emotions on it. glow in the dark star stickers, various planets in the solar system hung from the ceiling. various items. a computer, colored pencils, comic of choice being worked on. most of them…. uhm… very.. explicit in nature.

i remember a character of theirs. a little girl. sunflower dress, horrible family. sent to an orphanage. feel sick at saying anything more. cute characters i liked, all eviscerated. its not their fault, inherently; they had a lot of things going on. definite abuse, at some point. still, the memories make me somewhat sick.

this was a person i cared about, swam at the beach with, drew art with. grew up with. we would play the recorder & be grimy & silly together.

yet, this person simultaneously showed me a jarring amount of sexual topics, nothing a young child should see to that extent— neither them, or me. they were two years or so older. we played on the playground and roleplayed about a fucking sex shop, for gods sake. i just now resurfaced the memory of [being shown something that should not be shown at age ten]. it makes me deeply, deeply uncomfortable.

i still remember sharing a cold miniature pizza & chicken tenders as a lunch with them. juice with water added to lessen the sweetness. adventure time in the background on the television. the fact their door lock got broken once because of our stupidity. an old dog they had.

i wonder if, by any extent, this friendship caused me to subconsciously be revulsed and uncomfortable by so many of these things. it probably did.. ever since knowing them, i haven’t looked at certain childhood objects the same. a certain pillow pet comes to mind, so do pillows in general…. would explain my distain for the items, when they aren’t the ones i know. would also explain the long time discomfort in the following things: taking a shower at someone elses place, changing at someone elses place, staying overnight in general at a friends house, sharing any kind of clothes, feeling as if in my sleep i’d be….

….oh.

……..oh.

...damn it. having this realization as of writing this makes it all the more horrible. it seems to explain my distinct hatred of touch with those who discomfort me, my lack of touch even with close friends unless its a hug, my distain for… so many things. my stunted growth in regards to relationships. ive been afraid, so afraid, terrified of the concept, not wanting to be hurt and to be helpless again; subconsciously, without even realizing it

it would also explain why i am so preferable to the concept of plushies instead of human people as things to hold. inanimate objects can’t hurt me, they can’t reach out of the shadows and hold you in a way you don’t want. would explain my dislike of quote, cuddling.

god, i’m… hahaha, [nervous laughter, not that of amusement.. i am very much not amused.] i did not realize id be having this epiphany today. or anytime soon. At all. god damn it.

well… if someone did read this, then they experienced a cruel read. im sorry. why am i sorry? i put a ‘dont read this’ sign! doesn’t matter, i’m sorry regardless.

[WHAT NOW? do i just go on with my day? i can’t, that feels odd. i need to make my friend their birthday piece.. i need to do so many things. i have so much to do, but i just got the biggest epiphany dropped like an anvil on my head… maybe thinking of people who were once nice to me will make me feel better…. think of friends & acquaintances & old friends & whatnot, to make me feel safe… peruse the archive i have of photos…]

[edit: i just did that. i feel significantly better. thank you, uhm… um…. what do i say….. ah, i will say friend, i like saying friend… even if its quite foolish, its trivial anyway…]

[vaudeville-venom]

3/4AM — O3-12-2O24 : RANT / RAMBLE ﹐🪶 ˖ overview: im tired of tiktok, want to move to other social media platforms. want to start blogging / journaling on tumblr and love the idea of others doing the same and find it interesting. want to redo my intro post really bad (i bring it up alot.) i want to have the 'average highschool experience', feel alone then ramble about my life a bit. talk about how i am rambling and how i dont expect anyone to read it. im tired of having a fucked up sleep schedule and being unstable. then an ending note talking about journaling on tumblr again, moodboards, the fucking intro post again, and want to work on a tagging system. (im really fucking tired oh my god)

[ me-core / aesthetic of my brain atm ] : images frm Pinterest

im really debating on just leaving tiktok for now, the algorithm fucking sucks especially right now. its boring as fuck and im not even seeing stuff of my interests or my mutuals ☠️ its all the same 3 god damn audios of content i wouldnt ever like want or expect to see??? ive mentally wanted to stop using shit like tiktok and move to using tumblr more and other sites like spacehey and stuff. i really need to redo spachey too. because while tumblr still has an algorithm ofc its alot less addicting and doesnt absolutely wreck your attention span like tiktok has for me. i feel like not using tiktok other than for occasional posts and sending things to / receiving things from friends would make me a bit more productive as well as being better for me mentally. while it wont magically cure me from any mental illness itll make me feel better and probably help my stress a bit.

i really love the idea of using a tumblr blog to post whatever i want and like use as a digital diary of some kind,, its super fun imo. i had an old acc but it felt like more of a chore to keep up with so now it’s abandoned. speaking of that blog i may make a post being like “hey, im [here] now!!” because i had some neat mutuals there. i think its really neat to see people post about their day and share things they like and reblog everything that catches their eye yk! that may just be a me thing.

i want to redo my intro post a bit, because idk im a bit unhappy with it. (dont be surprised if i edit it mid-writing this or before i post this..) i really love to write but i havent had much motivation at all. i typically love researching my interests and taking notes on them but recently i havent been able to no matter how much i want to, maybe this diary / blogging kind of thing will help me get back on my feet with that :)

i really dont have a ‘yearning’ for anything at the moment, besides having the experience of like everyone else my age. idk how (hahaha) corny that may sound but like for background, im online schooled due to mental and physical disabilities, i dont have many friends online or in person, i rarely see anyone, and i live with my dad and see my mom sometimes and dont really have family outside of that. the family i do have i dont get along with very well or theyre distant (physically or emotionally.) the family i really consider is my dad, because hes always there for me, and my friend micah, but he lives like 9 hours away from me like a LOSER (ily bffie.) im a big believer on chosen family and he is that chosen family. ok i got sidetracked, what im saying is i have no social life really, dont have a place to get a social life (school), and cant really connect with people no matter how i try to. i want to live life like how i see in teen life films or tiktoks of people vlogging with their friends, hell id kill to even have an irl bestfriend to be around. i do have irl friends, and i do have close friends, but i dont see them often or have the personal connection of a mutual best-friend feeling. my dads probably my best friend but i need someone my age lmfao.

this post will be so long that no one will read it i garuntee but also i dont mind?? im not gonna spill my guts like someone wont read this but im not gonna act like i have a large audience. this will just be a nice thing to look back on and keep up unless i anxiously delete it whenever i look back on it (maybe in the morning)

im really tired of waking up at 3-4pm right now, but i cant sleep earlier than 5am no matter what i do. and if i manage to fall asleep at 2am or something i wake up an hour later or wake up at 4-5am panicking for some reason. i havent been to therapy in forever, my therapist is like not doing her job as well as id like and i have no doctor other than my pediatrician who doesn’t understand what im talking about ever!!

i just made this post and thats kinda what led to all of this ranting and wanting to write and shit. im sorta just tired of alot of social media and would love to find myself in other ways and use other forms of social media to share those things even though tumblr is a bit more dead than some things :) im gonna end this one here but if i write another tonight or early tomorrow (like the afternoon same day but it’s tomorrow to me) dont be surprised i love rambling to myself. now i think im going to make this post look cute, post it, redo my pinned intro, work on featured tags/a tagging system, then go from there ^^’

[averlym]

jane seymour

short haired seymour?

[socialprawn]

tbh i always thought thom and moira were besties.... i had no idea they were together

I feel ashamed :V Cos I think I know the root of the issue. I sort of feel way too shy to paint romantic scenarios, so I never really showcased that side of their relationship with you guys. So yeah, it makes sense :”V 

I remember posting this and feeling SOO ashamed ahaha :V But this phobia is kind of shedding off, so I think I’m comfortable with painting romance now muhehe 🌹

Interesting though 💀 

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Penny: "Um, hi there Mr. scary glowy eyed man. How is your day?" (asktheinvestigator-and-alchemist) ((Also hi from the mod, I love your artwork and how you draw Aesop!!! ))

If she really found me scary, why is she approaching me...?@asktheinvestigator-and-alchemist

[idv-sunsxin3]

Excuse me I dont know if you have request open but you can ignore me if you dint have them

little prince s/o with Wu chang and joseph (separate pls)

Pins// Omg- I love this concept💕💕💕 The inbox is open, so I still do accept requests. nwn

———

Wu Chang & Joseph with Little Prince! S/O

{Headcanons/Scenarios}

Male! S/O

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Header via Identity V Official JP Twitter

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Wu Chang would treat you as royal in their native etiquette.

They were alright to learn different kinds of formalities or treat you casually, if you find formalities uncomfortable-

Though, there was no difference that you would be frequently be accompanied by them.

Xie sometimes dreamed of meeting a prince or princess like from the Chinese fairy tales he once read in his childhood, though there’s a small issue(?).

You’re very nice and kind to be around with, but you don’t wear hanfus… 😅

Yet, White finds it alright if you prefer to wear your culture’s attire more. He won’t mind if you want to try out hanfus, too!

He has some spare that might fit you (surprisingly-)

If you ever had an S-Tier costume, which has a long cape that can make yourself trip, One of the sworn brothers would be willing to help you with it so you don’t get to trip as you walk.

When walking around on a rainy day: If you don’t like getting wet, Xie would give his umbrella to you as Fan stays inside it.

As a ‘little’ prince, you were always curious about the castle walls’ outdoors and always craved for adventures.

You still had these tendencies after entering the manor, White would often chase you around the manor or supervise you so you don’t get hurt or missing in the process-

Xie// Your majesty- Please! Slow your pace. 😥

Y/N // But there's a lot to see in here, Bi'an! :D

When you want to reach something(like an apple in a tree or a book from a top shelf). Instead of passing it to you, WuWu would let you sit on their shoulder so you can reach the book by yourself.

If you were alright about being carried frequently, Black had tendencies to carry you like a sack of potato on his arm as a way to look after you.

And if you told him about the Lion King references, he would raise an eyebrow but curiously raises you into the sun as if you were Simba-

As a joke, some male survivors would kneel below you when he does that-

Header art from mcmclunar in DeviantArt

___

I can imagine Joseph helping his little prince tie his bow if you have long hair….💕

He would hum a melody from a piece he heard before as he brushes your hair before bedtime-

Before you both became lovers, he learned that you already had the age to get married as an individual from a royal family.

But he also noticed that you were not wearing a ring.

You were quite straightforward and less decisive with your words as a royal blood, that’s some traits the Photographer loved about.

With consent, Joseph loves to take pictures of you whenever flowers adorn beautifully around you at the manor's garden and when you look so focused on your journal while biting your pen-

Call him grandpa, he won’t try to stab you with his rapier as you had royal privileges-

But he would still put you in a baby playground to ‘discipline’ you. (More like bullying you back-)

Yes, he would call you ‘baby face’ in casual terms- Since you’re younger than him.

Have fun figuring your way out of the strangely tall fences for toddlers- X’DD

You being a royal/noble = Edgar possibly wanting to be friends with you(if you’re ‘tolerable’ to him-) = Protective Joseph

Edgar// Hello-

Joseph raising his rapier// HAHAHA- No.

Embrace yourself for some French rants and Edgar screeching in the background-

Use your prince card if you ever want to play dress up with Joseph, or when he suspects you that you were the one who was pranking him-