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#dont wanna get involved dont wanna be Perceived
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You are literally one of the only reasons I'm still partially in the WH fandom /pos
🫡 just doin' my duty sir
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booksandpaperss · 8 months
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some ramble-y thoughts on men's social isolation and women's safety bc this has been on my mind for a bit
I do think it's really sad how men end up feeling so isolated bc of various social expectations as well as people being cruel, but as a fem presenting person I have to say that you can't just expect women and anyone who is fem presenting to just "start being nicer". ive seen a few posts on Tumblr essentially stating that but I have to reiterate it is about safety. I literally cannot afford to stop looking at men with caution and assumed violence until I get to know them really well bc if I stop that could genuinely cost me me life. its true that most men I see probably are not predators and im sure it hurts to be perceived that way, but I have no way of being able to tell who is and isn't going to harm me. I have to assume the worst because it is the only way I can stay safe.
it sucks, it really does, for all parties involved. I have so much sympathy for the men who are genuinely kind and would never hurt me that feel isolated, it isn't fair, and I myself certainly don't enjoy the *necessary* fear that the random guy im passing on the street could see me and decide to hurt me, but this is the reality of the world. there is no easy solution, but what certainly isn't a solution is expecting women to start being kinder to men they dont know because once again: that could genuinely cost someone their life.
The best solution right now I think is to continue to try to deconstruct misogyny and gender roles, and that takes time, patience, and understanding.
I have also seen the notion on here that men feeling isolated socially is misandry, but the reality is that misandry is simply not real on a systemic scale. men feeling isolated is a direct result of the patriarchy and a side affect of misogyny. a lot of things on this website that are perceived as misandry are either not real problems or they are but they're just the impacts of misogyny and the gender roles that come with it.
But it is very surreal to be walking alone at night, clutching my pepper spray and glaring whenever a man I don't know is near me, making sure to stay next to the street and make it obvious I know exactly where I'm going and still feeling the fear that it might not be enough and something horrible could happen to me anyway, only come back to Tumblr and see people saying misandry is just as prevalent as misogyny and women need to start considering how it feels for men to be looked at like they're predators. Touch grass seems like an applicable statement here.
oh and obligatory piss on the poor tumblr disclaimer: I know I am using binary terms so before any of you get on your high horse about it, I myself am non binary. I am not actually a woman, but I certainly look like one and therefore deal with misogyny. I fully understand that trans men and genderqueers of all kinds as well as even feminine cis men also fear for their life on the street so dont even think abt getting on my ass about that. oh and if any of you try to call this a terf post consider yourself blocked with a recommendation to get a refresh on what terf actually means instead of just throwing around the term when you see any post trying to talk about misogyny :D
final disclaimer bc I wanna cover all my bases due to Tumblr reading comprehension: im aware topics like this are very nuanced with lots of layers, please dont act like im obligated to cover all that in a random Tumblr post of all things, I cannot possibly cover everything nor am I obligated to. I simply wanted to remind ppl that actual lives are at risk and fem presenting people constantly and regularly fear for their life bc I feel like that gets left out a lot in conversations like this on here. <3
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elialys · 15 days
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OMG im so 🥺
That i have to talk...I'm in shock !
How can someone like Torv and not follow her teachings? Love others as they are!Yes she always said quote Helen is Anna Torv "I love you just the way you are"it should always be people's motto!
And another quote she left this year EMPATY...OK you Dont like the person but you have to respect.Then its ok leave...why criticize something if we have no comparison?
You don't do anything so so wrong unforgivable to a human and everyone sometimes make mistakes!
I am sometimes surprised and outrageous by people pointing the finger só easily at small things that they perceive differently and be silent or quiet at big problems around them or even looking at themselves! I'm just saying one thing.  Of all of us.... ALL of us, YOU were the one who dedicated the most time YEARS -DECADES, had the most patience (countdown the minutes of the 2 years without premieres? ) and fought for each series, each Anna Torv's work(things like uniting fans, posting videos, talking about her, supporting her unconditionally... Fauxlivia is still your protégé, right?🤭and fighting Helen Dale dont stop )... and for me it is extremely commendable and I admire you immensely for never stopping fighting and share Anna Torv!
Your neurodivergent brain may have flaws...but What brain don't have sometimes a little's error ?
NOBODY is Perfect right? And qualities as a fan fic writer, fan, woman, friend, caring, and empathetic you have and they are huge And guess what...people who prefer to criticize SHES A REALLY TREASURE !
I could list about more than 100 things you did that were important! And if you wanna i can make a list...my nerd brain remembers all good gestures 🥰
And this is for all there fans no fans humans that read...
When they criticize you...choose the other path...which Anna Torv has also advised...
FEEL PROUD OF EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE!  😍❤️
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Thank you so much for your kind words, Maria ❤️❤️❤️
Honestly, I am genuinely at a lost as to why some people get so mad and unforgiving over honest mistakes, especially when I mean it when I say I never meant any harm, and will listen and change my behavior if it's not appropriate. I have been in this fandom for a very long time, and I've always tried my best to be nice, and to do better when I can do better. And anyone who takes the time to actually get to know me at all, unlike those people who have honestly been very closed-off from the start, knows that I'm the opposite of an asshole, and that my life motto literally is 'let's be kind and show empathy'.
I swear twitter puts a negativity filter on everyone's brain, they expect the worst of everyone. The fact that they thought I'd sent people after them to 'harass' them, when I wasn't even aware of what was going on until my friend reached out to me to tell me about it, at which point said friend had already gotten involved, just baffles me. I'm a 36 year old adult with bad social anxiety, I live my life hoping to avoid drama or situations in which people will get angry at me in any way. The last thing I would ever think to do is have that kind of vindictive behavior, especially about something I knew I could have handled better. But you can't have conversations with the twitter crowd, you just can't. They will assume the worst of you and that's it.
I haven't been on twitter for a couple weeks now, except to post fic links for my followers who care about them, and honestly, I don't know if I'll be back, not when there are a few people who seem to enjoy scrutinizing the things I do or say.
I still want to do the Anna project because I want her to receive love from her fans, but my anxiety about this is too high at the moment, and my brain a bit too unkind.
I'm very thankful for fellow fans like you, Maria, I mean that 😘😘😘
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0809sysblings · 2 months
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6, 48, 59, 60, and 93!
hii!! ty for the ask!!
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
i dont really get clothing styles and just sorta put on whatever i think looks decent enough to be perceived in (and i haven't really properly bought clothes in like. several several years) but... after looking all these up to see examples, my style is probably closest to tomboy? i guess? i didnt even know that was considered a style tbh--
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
hm........ well. probably a banana. just cause. some of my family used to call me a nickname that incorporated banana into it. so like... that would probably be the most appropriate choice...
but i think i'd want to be like... a cherry maybe. i like cherries. 🍒
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
HMMMMMMMMMM.......... i... have no idea. i feel like... i probably would be one of those really silent characters who don't talk...?? so i wouldn't have a proper catchphrase. my catchphrase would be 👍
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
OOO hmm... definitely one with a supernatural or magical aspect. and i wouldn't wanna be in a slice-of-life one because i'd want there to be action and stuff. maybe a universe sorta similar to like... FMA/JJK/BSD/etc where it's like... there's Things going on, but it's not something that everyone, or even most people, are actually involved with. it's a specific subgroup of people and they're kinda isolated from everyone else (whether that be physically or just psychologically) doing their thing. if that makes sense.
93. nicknames?
if this is asking if i have any, currently... yeas.
i remember Tumblr User @/74n5n replying to my url change post saying they were giving me the nickname 0809. if that counts.
then.. i also have one friend who calls me Kyle. it's a bit we did where we had Chadsonas. Kyle was my Chad Name. and he just.. continued to call me it. to the point that other people who know of me through him think that's literally my name until it gets explained KDMFDKS.
i guess i don't really... have a name. so technically everything other people call me is a nickname!
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avid-avian-lives · 6 months
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2008
(this is the baby swap scene of my rancher omens au - it's pretty long so have a preview and a cut :> dont wanna fill up yalls dashes)
The small English town of Tadfield held an air base in which the American ambassador Thaddeus Dowling’s wife Harriet had just landed and where their hospital had just been closed. It was also the home of a nunnery, in which the Saint Beryl’s Order of Chattering Nuns had agreed to deliver Harriet Dowling’s blond, male baby.
It is worth noting that Saint Beryl was a nun born in 649 who had been betrothed to a priest who she didn’t like, and that she escaped the aforementioned marriage by chattering endlessly for three weeks until he strangled her. It is also worth noting that she received this ability not by praying to God, but to Satan, and that the Saint Beryl’s Order of Chattering Nuns were Satanists who talked endlessly except on Thursday afternoons, when they were permitted to shut up.
However, Harriet Dowling wasn’t the only mother-to-be at the Tadfield nunnery on that night; in fact, a local woman named Deirdre was also having a blond, male baby while her husband waited outside smoking a tobacco pipe and worrying endlessly. It was this man, Henry, who was the first to see and speak to the demon Tango as he left his car. Not that he knew or understood any of this. He only saw a tall and extraordinarily thin man saunter out of his car holding a large wicker basket.
“You left your lights on,” he said. The man sighed dismissively and waved his hand a bit, and the car’s headlights turned off. The exhausted and confused Henry replied, “Fancy, that. Infrared?”
The mysterious man with the basket, who Henry now noticed had bright blond, almost yellow hair and a pair of dark sunglasses—impractical, he thought, it’s night, and I can’t imagine he sees very well—only asked, “How long have we got?”
“Well, I’ve been left out of the whole business. But I imagine she’s coming right along.” This may have been a helpful reply if not for the fact that he most certainly did not know any such thing and was merely pretending.
“What room?”
“We’re in Room Three,” he said, this time with much more certainty. He did, in fact, know the room number in which his wife was giving birth. However, this became the first of a truly astonishing number of miscommunications that allowed the events of this night to play out as they did. Quite like a card trick involving a tricksy magician, they were quite hard to follow, and no one involved knew quite what had happened. Therefore, it will be broken down and relayed quite slowly here.
Tango brought his basket into the nunnery and handed it to the first nun he saw. He intended to get his part of the job finished as quickly as possible. “Bring this into room three,” he said.
Harriet Dowling and Deirdre were each in the process of giving birth to one of two babies involved in the whole affair; the third was in the basket that Tango carried. For ease of understanding, we shall call this basket baby “Death, Destroyer of Worlds.”
The nun, who hadn’t been involved in the plan initially because of perceived incompetence, enthusiastically took Death, Destroyer of Worlds to room three. There, while Deirdre slept, she put him in the place of the second baby, which we shall call “Deirdre’s baby.”
However, before she was able to leave, Henry entered and saw the two babies. “Twins?!” he said. “I didn’t hear anything about twins!”
“Just as well!” the nun said hurriedly. “This one…” She indicated to Deirdre’s baby. “isn’t yours. I’m merely keeping an eye on him while the others take care of his mother. You get this one!” she said, indicating Death, Destroyer of Worlds.
“Oh,” said Henry. “That’s alright, then.”
A second nun entered the room and gave the first a wink. The first winked back and indicated to Deirdre’s baby, and the second cheerfully called out “Extra baby removal!” as she took Deirdre’s baby from the room.
It is worth the time necessary to deconstruct this interaction.
As far as communication goes, nonverbal strategies are often not the best course of action, as they can be very versatile based on the context, which can be different between people. As far as nonverbal communication goes, the wink may be the most versatile of them all.
In the second nun’s head, the interaction went like this:
She entered the room and gave a wink to the first nun, meaning What the hell are you doing, for Satan’s sake? We’ve got a job to do, and here you are, hanging around some outsider with Death, Destroyer of Worlds! Indicate him to me and I will bring him to his new parents for the swap. Then, when the first nun indicated to one of the babies, her wink meant I can’t talk now, there’s an outsider here. Take this baby to the American ambassador and make the switch, for he is Death, Destroyer of Worlds. And the second nun therefore took the indicated baby from the room.
In the first nun’s head, the interaction went like this:
Another nun entered the room and winked at her, nonverbally saying What a good job you’ve done! Switching the babies all by yourself! Master Tango and Our Supreme Lord Satan will be very pleased. Indicate to me which baby is the excess, and I will leave you with Death, Destroyer of Worlds and his new parents. As instructed, she indicated to Deirdre’s baby, and winked back, saying Thank you. Take this baby away. I shall remain here and help the American ambassador bestow a worthy name unto Death, Destroyer of Worlds. And the other nun took away Deirdre’s baby.
Following this, the first nun and Henry had a remarkable conversation involving a lot of You may have some tea if you wish, but we also have coffee if you’d prefer! and We call these “biscuits,” but you likely know them as “cookies.” It is important to remember that Henry was both very baffled and very tired. It was in his nature to latch onto things he understood and dismiss that which confused him, especially when he was very tired. As a nun from the Order of Saint Beryl, she had been talking nonstop; he could be forgiven for missing some of the strange details.
It is also important to remember that the nun was not very good with geography, and as such, Henry’s response of “a small town called Rye” when she asked where he was from was perfectly reasonable.
It is fascinating how different two conversations can be when they are, in fact, the exact same conversation.
Regardless, it is likely that by this point you understand what is going to happen here. The second nun snuck Deirdre’s baby into Harriet Dowling’s room under the pretense of taking her baby away for a legally required weighing. Overall, it was a much simpler affair, as Mr. Thaddeus Dowling was not physically present. He had, during a meeting with the American President, video called in. “This is the most important time that two people can share,” he’d said, “and I’m not going to miss a second of it!” True to his word, he’d had a Secret Service agent record the whole thing so that he could see it after the fact when his business calls were over.
Somehow, in her sleep-drunken state, Harriet was successfully convinced by the nuns to name her child “Warlock.” It is likely that the Secret Service agents were either required by their contracts to stay quiet or simply delighted that there wouldn’t be a child named Thaddeus Dowling IV in their care.
In room three, Henry struggled much more with a name.
“Warlock? Certainly not. Can you imagine having to write that on a tax form?”
“Of course. Well, what did you want from a name?”
“I suggested ‘Martyn,’” he said, “spelled with a Y. Ordinary enough to fit in, outlandish enough to stand out. I wanted something traditional, you see, but Deirdre read somewhere that children who share names with their peers feel as though they must compete for attention. It was the first thing I could think of.”
“How about a biblical name? Those are some traditional-yet-odd names.” Luke, Mark, Gabriel, and Ezekiel were suggested and rejected in turn. The nun started to become worried that he would notice that she didn’t actually know the Bible all that well—she was a Satanist, after all. Finally, she said, “Well, there’s always Adam.”
Henry looked at the baby (Death, Destroyer of Worlds) up and down. Then, he turned his head and looked at the baby sideways, longways, and all sorts of ways. He repeated the name a few times in a few different intonations. He spelled it out in his head and thought about connotation and etymology and all sorts of things without any real understanding of any of them. Then he did it all over again, still thinking.
“No,” he said. “I think we ought to just go with Martyn. Saves a lot of headache, sticking with the first thing you think of.”
And so, Harriet Dowling and her Secret Service agents drove away with Warlock Dowling while Deirdre and Henry Littlewood took home Martyn Littlewood, formerly, albeit briefly, known as Death, Destroyer of Worlds.
It would be nice to think that the nuns had Harriet Dowling’s child discreetly adopted and that he grew up to be astoundingly normal and not at all involved in the events that will follow, so why don’t we settle for that conclusion?
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sukifoof · 8 months
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Ooooh! 8 and 18 for the ask game if you don't mind?
NICE I WAS HOPING FOR 8!!!! tbh in my heart all the characters i like are aro BUT there are some i feel Really strongly about and thats flowey and femt (unsurprising) i feel like. flowey is probably understandable. given his. Everything. but with femt i feel like it just fits with his character. guy who hates "normal" and seems to struggle to bond with anyone and considers himself a freak. also whatever THIS was
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"whats ur type" "i dont know i dont CARE just. be funny when ur suffering i guess." i love femt hes SO funny i think flowey and femt are the only characters ever
some other characters i like that i think are aro are haruka kokonose, mahiru shiina (milgram), and mr itto genshin. for haruka i think the fact that he feels so isolated from everyone else and how he gets Weird about the few friendships he has And how he desperately tries to understand what friendship Is is so. ohhh i love him.. and mahiru is just. the obsession with love and her trying to Define love and how she seems to think being in a relationship will fix her somehow. i have a really specific relationship with being aro and these characters just kinda Hit what its like to feel that way as an aro person <3 love them dearly. also i do not have any reasons for itto i just feel it in my heart <3
and 18!! i tend to avoid shipping mostly cuz i guess i dont really care for it?? it doesnt really make sense to me and i much prefer to explore character analysis and how traumatized characters react to those around them. if i Do end up shipping anyone its almost always in qpr way
YUUTA SAKURAI SECTION!!!! i never get to talk about him but this is a PERFECT time to talk about him. everyone watch net juu no susume IMMEDIATELY its one of my most favorite shows and severely underrated. i think yuuta is such an interesting character. so much of his character is him wanting to get closer to people but he has an emotional wall up both because of his parents deaths and because of his Various Past Experiences involving people wanting him romantically and him not at all feeling that way.
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i really like how they write his misunderstanding of how hes perceived and that hes convinced that hes going to get in the way of others relationships... thinking about the idea of people wanting to take up as little space as possible because they feel unworthy of being loved and i wanna shake his head and be like NO everyone LIKES YOU SO MUCH!!!
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i think his relationship with moriko is really special because theyre the only people they feel they can truly rely on. both of them have been so lonely and i just think a lot about how they both put so much importance on their friendship and partnership it just means a lot to me that the romance aspect feels more like an afterthought to their friendship because i rarely see that... i also really like how this handles the idea of wanting to be seen as Someone Else because firstly i like it in an aro way but also this show is. so good for trans people
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i just think a lot about the way he understands his relationships around him and how he hates being lonely and very rarely has people understand him in the way he wants i just love yuuta so much hes one of my most favorite characters <3 on that note i think him and moriko. they are so qpr to me
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imagine i have my head in my hands i am desperately begging people watch this show its only 11 episodes i love it so much... thank u for the ask these were fun to answer :)
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prince-tulip · 1 year
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I need to stop trying to be everything for everyone.
I cant let go of people, i have a severe abandonment issue that has gone too far. My reality became so blurry, with so many people wanting things from me..cognitive distortions and people pleasing stemming from overwhelming guilt and shame and fear..living off defense mechanisms first..
Its like if ive done wrong to you, i feel I have to be punished and be exactly whoever to whomever person im involved with. Which that plays into daily life, i feel I always have to be how they want me to be, im HEAVILY influenced by the world and often times in bad ways, its a big reason i dont just live my life.. Not to say either that i dont have genuine emotions and love for literally anyone ive loved or even if they hurt me and are toxic, i won't leave. When something i cant handle happens, i look for an escape route maybe? But i know i don't actually want to leave or cut someone off..My feelings become caught in a bundle of wires, words become misdirected, impulsive and if i have a trauma bond with you, subconscious feelings and past events come screaming at my face, confusing my reality more, saying and doing things i shouldn't. All things ive tried so hard to heal from..i have so much love to give and I think overall just genuine connection is what im looking for..even if thats just as friends with whoever my sentiment gets the best of me too, i feel as if everything must mean something but thats just not true and its going to keep killing me if i think like that...that's the big question..
What does connection mean to me? What form do i want it in and how can i better understand how to communicate with my loved ones or future companions? Growing up it was always soulmate, marriage, kids, happy life but i dont think(as of right now, i do hope one day) that the typical life isn't for me..societys need to be perfect, to be perceived as happy and successful, forcing a life out of want oppose to need..i dont understand..
Maybe though..just maybe nothing can grow if you dont allow it to and thats a fault on me.."here comes the contradiction" lmao...*insert*
Could i just be honest and communicate how i properly feel? Yes..but with how my mental illness is, i dont know how i feel. Every thought, perspective, moral is just contradictory. Every second. Its a constant battle of not self destructing, hurting people, picking fights, loss of interest, feeling numb, thinking every is meant for a reason when its not that fucking serious. Its not just negative moods either. Happiness comes in big waves that feel uncomfortable, pleasure feels wrong, like i dont deserve it, in any form.
Im riddled with guilt and regrets..
I feel torn through out time, belonging to people from different points in my life, struggling to feel whole and until i do, especially when it comes to love, romance and building together.
I cant have those, it burns me out. I focus too much on them, then burn out which causes problems and personal anger, sadness, resentment in everyone involved..
I never understood i had a need for validation but oh god, how i understand now..I never understood cognitive distortion but oh god, how i understand now..i never understood how to truly express myself and my desires..but how i understand now..too late... Ironically.
My honest intentions questioned due to my lack of mental understanding, a lack of time perception, a lack of being able to sift through my emotions of how i truly feel, a lack of being able to realize i dont need to people please, a lack of realizing i dont have boundaries for myself or others, a lack of not being able to not self destruct, if i hurt or disappointed someone i feel i need to fix things and be someone that i actually dont really wanna be but i end up filling that role because i need to fix something or i just have a personality switch and im saying and doing things i really don't mean, its so polarizing and its no ones fault, its so much my fault....
I now realize i do not need to feel like i need to be punished..or that i dont deserve good things...The lack of not letting things be natural, not letting things just happen, always fear driven and being controlled by my defense mechanisms. This overwhelming guilt, shame and disgust i harbor in my heart of all the wrongs ive ever made, it all haunts me and im so familiar with it, its almost if thats all i will feel my life, as if thats what i subconsciously wanted...not needed..i didn't need this..but here i am..
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lostjulys · 2 years
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okay wlell i dont wanna get involved in any disk horse but i will say inmy opinion it is funny 2 insist that dsmp characters r narrative tools and u have to perceive them as such because theyre part of actual narratives the ccs r trying to tell. luv do u rlly think 98% of the creators on the smp r actively trying to construct meaningful narratives. maybe this is like doylist of me but i prommy u like theres only a handful of ccs who r trying to create an actual overarching narrative arc. none of the rest of them give a shit <3333
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ghost-shipping · 2 years
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i think ur right, it is important to understand other peoples struggles, esp when ur a part of a marginalized group. i also think its not being nit picky to say its wrong imply that ppl with low / no empathy are the problem. its like, two things can be true at once.
im just saying, because like, we get so much shit for our lack of empathy. and it’s important to not put another group down just to try and make a point. it is important to understand how other people feel, but it is not required, if that makes sense. like, queer antis who attack other queer ppl are immature and selfish and horrible people. could the empathy have something to do with it? maybe. but whats most important is their lack of care for other people…. not their inability to feel what other people feel.
sorry for the novel. i dont wanna police ur wording. just wanna make sure no one has to get unnecessarily grouped in or hurt.
First of all I'd like to say that I'm sorry that you and probably a few others were distressed at the tags on my post last week. It was never my intention to accuse low empathy people of being any kind of root cause for these problems.
But I also think it's important to clarify that I was using the word in the very generalized way most people I've met do, in that empathy and sympathy are conflated and blurred a bit. When I said antis "lack empathy" as a community I meant that they clearly discourage seeing things from the other persons perspective and how they might feel if in those circumstances, because to do this would make them akin to an apologist (and also might make them realize they are looking for control and not safety). This is common amongst puritan social movements of any kind. I was not suggesting that the solution is that they need to feel the same emotions proshippers do, just that seeing things from the perspective of a marginalized victim who acts in a way they think is icky is a major taboo by design.
Believe it or not I have been told I have a lower threshold for empathy a lot of the time because I tend to intellectualize others emotional problems to understand them better as opposed to feeling with them, but I chose not to use the word sympathy at the time because I think a lot of people perceive sympathy to be an inherently less involved and more shallow way of understanding other people. A lot of folks think sympathy is simply feeling sorry for someone else and empathy is truly understanding. Which of course isn't really accurate because things are a lot more involved and complicated than that and having lower empathy/higher sympathy doesn't inherently say anything about you as a person.
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its been a long time since ive ever even thought about questioning my sexuality. im bisexual, have identified as such for over 5 years, and im content with it for the most part. pansexual would probably be more accurate, but its just not the label i use. 
but the older i get... the more people i see around me who are dating and fucking and falling in love and doing more than i ever feel like i want to or will, the more i start to question it.
maybe im just being silly. sexuality is such a fickle thing, i try not to focus on it. but i dont even know if im attracted to people or not. i think i am? but i feel so fucked in the head that it’s impossible for me to tell. how am i supposed to know what sexual attraction feels like vs something like romantic attraction vs just wanting to be friends? ive never dated. so how am i supposed to know?
i should probably just date if i wanna find out, right? because eventually ill have to know. i just feel silly. i feel a little confused. ive never understood relationships or sex in the way i feel like i should and i dont know if its because im so scared of intimacy and anything that involves me being perceived or if its because there’s seriously something there that i need to reflect on in terms of my sexuality n shit.
im trying not to think too far into it.
9:52PM
4.28.22
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actualbird · 2 years
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🌿 popping in to wish you lots of rest after your harrowing day! Also, I can't stop thinking about Giann and Vyn being ready to open their research center and having no idea what to call it. Giann's all "why don't u ask ur students lol maybe they'll have some good ideas" and Vyn figures why not, it wouldn't hurt. They have no idea what they've unleashed bc the shippers are READY. (Imagine Vyn finding out and sure, it's a lil weird, but he's mostly insulted they think GIANN would be the top jksj)
eyyo, herb!!! hhh thank u for the well wishes :') i indeed got a lot of rest bc when i clocked out at 8pm last night i basically just went to sleep immediately kjKJBKFG
AND LMAO THE SHIPPERS SKJDFBSJGDSJK!!!
pls pls im so into the trope (which im not sure if it is a trope, it's kinda specific) where people who know character A but do not know them Well just assume/HOPE that character A is in a relationship with this other person. except that other person is ABSOLUTELY SOMEBODY THEY R NOT ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN EVER, NO, NO!!!
thats basically the entire rationale for my the stellis detective fandom that exists in canon ends up shipping luke and sphynx (much to luke's horror) minific concept
idk i just think itd be funny to subject otome game characters to perceived romance by outsider povs but the other party in that perceived romance could NOT be any fucking further from both 1) the truth and 2) what the characters involved would ever want
if i mashed both this vyn/giann misunderstanding with my previous luke/sphynx misunderstanding to happen in the same universe.....
set in the future of current canon where giann (and neil) come back and theyre safe and sound, vyn is very happy but also Not by just a tiny tiny degree cuz an issue from before is now happening again...
vyn: //massaging his temples, mildly stressed
luke: hey you okay? if ever you wanna like, vent or something, im free right now
vyn, sighing: i assume it could not hurt to share this trouble
and so explains that a portion of his students who had thought that vyn and giann were a thing before giann's disappearance are now VERY MUCH EVEN MORE CONVINCED that vyn and giann are a thing now that giann's back. cuz giann is quite happy with being back and is also tryna make up for being missing for so long to the people who matter to him. so he hangs out a lot with marius so they can get their bro bonding they didnt get to do for a long time. and also hes always stopping by the university to take vyn out for lunch. and some students are getting the WRONG IDEA and when he TELLS THEM theyre misunderstanding they figure that vyn is both in denial and pining. and now theyre tryna give vyn love advice. those students mean well, he acknowledges, but have also just connected two dots that are not connected at all.
after the explanation, luke nods. theres a strange yet deep sympathy in his eyes, as if he completely understands vyn's problem
luke: looks like the shippers got to you too, huh
vyn: the...what?
luke: sh---uh. like. ship is short for relationship. and a shipper is---actually, i feel like the less you know about this, the better
vyn: why do you know this then?
luke: dont make me explain my part. please. oh god.
26 notes · View notes
give-grian-rights · 3 years
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hey i dont wanna be even more negative on my blog tonight but im mentally ill so here i am anyway
i in no fucking way . support anything involving "proshipping" . they do not deserve a title to cover what they are, what they are is freaks
creating pedophilic content is not just problematic and unwarranted, illustrations of such IS ILLEGAL. fictional are not, taking into account that you can go to jail for it ! that fiction definitely is affecting your reality.
shipping downright abusive pairings and continue to perceive and romanticize their canon dynamic is fucking gross and unhealthy !
i do not even want to get into any of the other subjects .
the point is? grow the fuck up and drag that sad fucking sack of yours to the fucking therapist if you think any fandom, social media, or general space has any reason to keep your fucking bullshit within them
fucking block me if you dont see the problem in romanticizing such vial things. get the fuck out.
79 notes · View notes
heyitsyn · 4 years
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Manager!Seijoh IWA ROUTE
a/n: uwuwuwuwuwu my mans iwa chan :’)
IM A SIMP FOR IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER
uwu filo!iwa in this :)
and also, listen to lauv while reading this since i wrote this and that song was playing on repeat O_O and also this song
this is my self-request uwu
Tumblr media
HES SUCH A POUTY BABIE BLS LOVE ON HIM
onwards we goooo
hihihihihihi yey im so excited for this yall dont even know
ANYWAYS
so,,,,
when iwa first saw you, he thought you were just a cute little thing
your shorter height, your puffy cheeks, and the wide eyes you had whenever you saw someone, or him, do a really cool spiking move
he initially thought of you as a cute little sister hes never had
ehehe that finna change
then the,,,, bullying thing happened
if youd like to read this part, its right here
when he saw you bloodied, all battered,
dear lordie he was finna break some ankles
ONG I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT SANGWOO YET HERE I AM
like that image of you will probably stay in his memory until he dies of the ripe age of 200
ngl it kinda traumatized him a little bit of how tired and pained you look with the tears rolling down your face and the blood that was escaping your body through your wounds
god you didnt deserve any of that
you deserved the world and the universe yet some people dared to take away your worth
ooo he was so mad
miyo was,,,, hurt??
can i say that??
i dont wanna,,,, explain bara arms iwa hurting a girl so youre gonna have to imagine that for yourselves
but at the end when they said slap, he didnt just ✨S L A P ✨ her
he ✨ B R O K E   S O M E   A N K L E S ✨
oiks is actually scared of him after that
like oiks had to peel him off of her and towards the infirmary where you and the team were
‘IWAIZUMI HAJIME, STOP!’
oof the first and last time oikawa tooru ever said that full name
he was breathing heavy and he was so ✨ A N G R Y ✨ with what she did to you yet he hears your soft scoldings, telling him off for hurting a girl
he wanted to see you
like right now
iwa tore himself from oikawa’s grasp and ✨ N Y O O M E D ✨ himself to the nurse’s office
there, you sat on the bed with the others scattered either on other beds or on the floor 
you smiled at the sight of him and he walked towards you and engulfed you in his arms
‘youre okay now. im here’
he whispered and you buried your face into his chest, breathing in his unique scent
lavender mixed with peppermint
he refused to leave your side so he ✨ M A D E ✨ some room on the bed beside you to sit and he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you close
you held his hand while oikawa talked to you and as you shamefully bowed your head
but you were forgiven and everything was all good until the third years really got into plan
makki and mattsun promised to handle it all as they had family in the justice field while oikawa would go and get the girl suspended
‘but what about me?! i want-’
‘iwaizumi, you literally hit her. it’d be best if you’re not involved right now as you were the only one who physically touched her in a harmful manner like that’
ong when it come to y/n, the meme team is replaced by the assassin team
he tried to fight but in the end, 3 overpowered 1 and he was forced to sit back and opted to comfort you instead
he made sure you were safe to walk home but that day, you were the one who asked him to spend time with him
just you two
like after seeing him seethingly enter back into the room, you reached out and held his hand in yours, eyes trained on your fingers fiddling with his
‘iwa-san,,,, you said you downloaded the new godzilla movie?’
you whispered but he could still hear you and his heart swelled at your meek voice
‘yea, i did. and my mom bought those chips you like’
your eyes flitted up to meet his eyes and a soft smile spread on your lips and there was this thumping in his heart
maybe that was the first time that iwaizumi hajime felt differently towards you
a smile that seemed to be differently perceived than the rest
and it wasnt for the whole team
it was for him
and him alone
the trek to his house was quiet but you would hum nursery rhymes or the songs you heard earlier in the radio while skipping every few steps and tightly holding on to his hand
iwaizumi’s olive eyes watched you still radiate energy despite being so hurt for a long time
they then trailed to your linked hands and he unintentionally squeezed it, only figuring out he did it when you looked up to him and squeezed it back with a smile
he wanted to do something to make you forget of what happened
he didnt want you to think about the cruelty and pain so he was going to make sure you would continue smiling 
thankfully, his parents werent home so he wouldnt have to explain why he has a bandage-covered girl with him 
iwa led you upstairs to where his room was and your eyes widened when you saw what was inside
tiny action figurines of animes like bakugo from boku no hero academia or a tiny pikachu on his desk
there was a large country flag that you didnt recognize and a few godzilla posters and volleyball players decorating beside it
however, besides those normal things you wouldve expected,
there were many polaroids
polaroid pictures that were everywhere with no specific layout pattern and just placed anywhere that had room
iwa watched as you dazedly walked forward and entered the room to move towards the wall by his desk that had the most pictures against it
from pictures of him and oikawa to the third years to him and his parents or just the sunrise and human silhouettes
your fingers reached forward and traced the picture of him and the third years when they were still first years and took a spontaneous trip to the beach
‘mattsun stole his dad’s car and drove us to the beach without a license’
iwaizumi’s voice answered your questions and you looked back, shimmering eyes
this room,,, wasnt just a normal, teenage boy’s room
this was a room that represented iwaizumi hajime
from his natural character description like his love for volleyball evident in the volleyball player posters to the underneath description that was hidden like his love for godzilla and his love of taking pictures of the people he cares about the most
it was all that made up iwaizumi hajime
your feet took you to stand in front of him, still standing at the doorway, and you stood on your toes to try and be eye-level with him
‘youre really cool, iwa-san’
you whispered and his ears turned red, not from the compliment, but by the close distance between you two
iwa clearedhis throat and ruffled your hair roughly, pushing you down slightly back to the balls of your feet
‘i already knew that, brat. now go and sit over there and be comfortable or whatever while i go get the food’
he hurriedly turned to hide his growing red face but you stopped him
‘iwa-san,,, ano,,, can,, i borrow a hoodie?’
you mumbled, nervously thinking he might refuse 
but he grunted a response, not bothering to turn around
‘take your pick’
you smiled and thanked him before bounding over to the wardrobe that was pushed against the wall across his bed that was against the corner by his window
inside had so many hoodies and there were also shirts that were hung up on the other half
they were all graphic tees that either had american bands or anime or game references
opting for a mint green hoodie that says ‘SONIC NYOOM’, you had an undershirt under your button up and as you slipped the bloodied long sleeve off, he swung the door open, eyes focused on the tray of coke filled glasses
then he looked up and almost dropped it at the sight of you,,, like that
‘OH MY GOD SORRY’
he shrieked and carefully but hurriedly backtracked back to the hallway
ofc you were shocked too but you quickly put the hoodie on and went to get him
iwaizumi’s heart was hammering in his chest and he was VERY red with embarrassment 
how could he see you like that?!
a girl who wasnt his shouldnt be seen like that by his eyes!
a touch on his arm reminded him of his position and he was still holding the tray but it was clear from the liquid in the cups that he was shaking slightly
‘iwa-san, its okay. i still had a shirt on so dont misunderstand’
you reasoned and he nodded, still not looking at you
the beginning of the movie was quite awkward as you both were sitting next to each other on the floor, backs against his mattress while the laptop played godzilla in front of yall
but it seems it was just him who was feeling this way bc you were intrigued at this weird monster that was squshing building under its foot and you continued munching on the food
iwa stood up and coughed
‘im going to take a shower’
you paused it and stared up at him, a chip halfway in your mouth
‘oh? you want me to wait for you?’
he agressively shook his head
‘no! its okay i watched it already. just,,,, watch it’
at the end, his words came out jumbled in his hurry to go and calm his heart down
you shrugged and unpaused the movie to continue watching
iwa spent his time in the shower, thinking and trying to think of stupid thoughts like the time oikawa almost choked on a peanut when they were in middle school to distract him of thoughts of how adorable you were
ONG HE WAS JUST SHOWERING AND INNOCENTLY DOING SHOWER THINGS
‘no, i said she was like a sister to me. and a sister she’ll remain’
okay ngl even though theyre not related, im worried yall would be like ‘iNcESt’ but bls a lot of people have tried to sibling-zoned people yet realized they liked them in THAT way
as he wrapped himself with a towel, he then realized
oh my god he didnt bring clothes
LMAO NOOOO IWAAAAA
iwa frantically looked around and he saw his mother’s sakura themed robe and he paused, arguing silently with him if he should wear it
well, it was either that or he went back into the room and showed you,,,,,, this
sucking in a sharp breath, he kept the towel around his waist and slipped his arms through the tight arm holes and he awkwardly tried to keep it tied since he was so much bigger than his tiny mom
what is happening
you saw the door opening and excitedly turned to tell him about this one scene when your voice died down in your throat at the sight of him 
here was iwaizumi hajime, ultra muscle buff man who gets abs with a simple glance of the gym, wearing an all too-tight pink, cherry blossom print robe that was so tight the tie around it was shaking to keep it together
‘dont’
he whispered and that snapped your remaining surprise to double over in laughter
‘its so cute! iwa-san, youre so cute!’
you shrieked and he growled and hurriedly went to to grab grey sweatpants and a shirt before running straight back to the bathroom
when he finally came back out, his face was still red and he was pouting as he sat next to you back to his seat
he could feel you staring at him while looking constipated as you held your laugh in and the second your eyes met, your giggles fell out
iwa rolled his eyes
‘yes yes let it out’
‘hehe, iwa-san, i didnt know you had that style’
‘it isnt! i didnt want to walk in here practically naked with you in the room!’
he growled and you nodded, still not quite believing it
‘hai hai. just say you like pink, i wont tell’
you waved and iwa felt offended
‘what do you mean ‘hai hai’?! its really not!’
your lips pursed to keep more giggles in and iwa growled again before lunging to grab your sides and tickling you 
of course being careful to not touch your wounds
you shrieked at the ticklish feeling and iwa laughed as you made weak attempts to push him off
‘huh? what was that? whatd you say? cant talk anymore, can ya?’
he teased
‘NO!!!! IWA-SAAAAN!!!!!’
you shouted in between your laughter and he finally let up when you squealed out your apologies and promised to never say it again
you breathed air into your lungs and sat back up to recollect yourselves 
iwa saw the strands that escaped your bun and they were scattered everywhere looking messy with your flushed cheeks and teary eyes
oh my god you were beautiful
he was so happy that you still kept that smile despite what happened and he was going to fight to keep it there
forever
it was about nearly the end when you finally realized how different iwaizumi’s hair looked
‘oi, iwa-san, your hair is not naturally spiky?’
he continued eating the chips while still watching the movie
‘what would you expect? even shittykawa’s hair is like this. did ya know that he wakes up extra early to curl it into that shitty mess?’
your jaw dropped
‘EEEHHHH???!!!!!!!’
later, you asked him how he does his hair for school and he blindly reached for the gel that was resting on his desk before tossing it to you
‘here’
you looked at it and flickered over to his hair and then you had the greatest realization
‘GODZILLA-SAMA!’
you pointed and he stopped eating, turning to give you a confused look
‘ha?’
you shrieked in an another round of laughter
‘IWA-SAN LIKES GODZILLA-SAMA SO MUCH HE DOES HIS HAIR AFTER HIM!!!!’
you doubled over to the floor, clutching your stomach and iwaizumi’s flustered expression made you laugh harder
he knew you were smart but,,, not this smart
you figured out his secret
the secret he’s hidden since he was practically a toddler
even his best friend, the guy hes known since he was born, never made the connection
yet here you are, figuring it out not even a year of knowing him
was this part of the many reasons he,, felt his heart beat for you?
oikawa was relieved that you had the bright twinkle in your eyes the next time he saw you and you were actively talking to iwaizumi in that early morning practice
‘oh? y/n-chan, is iwa-chan your best friend now?’
he tried not to sound jealous for his own best friend’s closeness to you and he added a teasing smile for extra measure
okay that hurted me a bit
iwaizumi snarled and blasted the volleyball towards his face before he could even yell or shout
‘iwa-san, dont do that’
you chided softly, small hands wrapping around his muscly arm
but iwa patted your head
‘deserving people deserve things to happen to them’
you rolled your eyes but smiled at him
‘hai hai’
the next week, iwa still kept a close eye on you in case someone else decided to mess with you 
but you told him that you swear youd tell him if someone did and he trusts you so he backed off a little
one day, he was eating lunch with the other third years in their classroom when you busted through the door, excitedly holding your phone
‘iwa-san! i figured out what country your flag was!’
he was halfway of shoving rice in his mouth when iwa looked at you
‘oh? you couldve just asked me though?’
you pouted and went to pull a chair from another desk to sit beside him
‘nooo. i wanted to work for that information. so you’re from the philippines, iwa-san?’
he nodded proudly
‘yep’
your eyes shone with interest
‘really?! you look japanese so it must be one of your parents. hey, iwa-san, which island are you from? i read about them and they have like 7641 islands-’
the others watched as you read through the article in your phone and iwa wasnt even following your words, instead staring at you with a dazed look and a lovesick smile
mattsun, makki, and oikawa exchanged looks of surprise because in all the years theyve known him especially oikawa, iwa was never interested in girls and such
he was a straight forward man with goals and straight sight to get them done with no distractions like relationships or love
yet here he was
slowly falling in love with you without even knowing he is
he continued to fall with the simplest things about you
from the perfume that you wore everyday to the way you would tuck your hair behind your ear when you were talking to someone
little quirks he used to miss was now being noticed even if you were right behind him and not in his line of vision
now, the boys were starting to see the difference of their precious ace
it was as if when he started to like you, they knew immediately by how he was acting
then one day during practice, you were late and they were all looking around for you and when they couldnt find you, they met back in the gym with nervous looks
iwa was already pacing around, a scary aura radiating off of him, and kindaichi, who went with him to look around the school, warned the others of iwaizumi’s worry
‘he was slamming doors open and he was walking so fast i had to run to even keep up with him’
then you busted through the gym door
you were actually picking up food for the team and sweets and you were held up when makki’s puffs were still being cooked
they rallied around you to make sure you werent hurt and you assured them but iwa pulled them away like picked them up and threw them off to the side and took you in his arms
iwa thought you were hurt and he was so worried something happened to you again
the hug was bone-crushing with how hard he was squeezing you but you felt his worry though and you freed your arms to wrap them around his neck
‘im okay, iwa-san’
you whispered in his ear and he nodded
‘let me hold you for a second’
he mumbled and you nodded
‘oi, theres food in the bags so make sure you eat it all. coach paid for it all so dont leave behind anything’
the mention of the food distracted them from you and iwa and they piled on top of each other to reach their food first
iwa was grateful that you distracted the others from seeing him being vulnerable towards you
‘i thought-’
‘shh,,, you have me right here, right now. safe and sound’
you knew how much seeing you all battered messed him up and his attempt of making you forget about it has been
and his worry of you being gone without no sign of where you went will forever be there and he will always have that thought in the back ofhis mind
the next time you came over, you actually met his parents
since you went home early before, you didnt catch his parents when they came home around 10 minutes after you left
but this time, they were already home with his mom cooking dinner while his father was sitting on the dining chair reading a newspaper
iwa walked through the door, shouting he was home, and you did the same thing to be customary
oof his parents were surprised
his mom turned around to share a look of surprise with her husband
sure they havent seen tooru in a while but they were pretty sure his voice wasnt that high pitched
right?
‘hajime, did you hit tooru so much you ruined his-’
then his mother stopped talking at the sight of you holding iwa’s hand tightly when yall stepped around the corner
you sheepishly smiled at them and bowed your head in greeting
oh my
so this was why iwaizumi hajime-san was really really really handsome
his parents were freaking good looking
like his mother was aphrodite with her flawless melanin skin and doe shaped eyes with a mole under her left eye
and his father was like ares, so handsome yet still manly and his appearance was a special type of good-looking with his buffness and ruffed appearance
‘iwa-san, i didnt know your parents were gods’
you mumbled, still staring at them
iwaizumi choked and coughed, flustered
‘oh my!’
his mother placed a hand over her mouth
‘hello’
his father stood up to walk in front of you and held his hand out
‘i’m hajime’s father’
you let go of hajime’s hand to shake his own with both of your hands
‘really nice to meet you! i’m l/n y/n! seijoh volleyball manager! first year!’
you introduced then stepped aside to fully bow 90 degrees
iwaizumi thought it was so cute of how flustered you were at meeting his parents
‘ay nako! nak, i didnt know you had such a beautiful girlfriend!’
she squealed and hurriedly went to stand in front of you and gently grasped your arms to stand you back straight and took a good look at you
‘youre so beautiful, iha. nice skin, pretty eyes, ang ganda!’
even with your research of tagalog, you didnt quite understand what she was saying
iwa noticed your slightly confused expression and he laughed, tucking his hands in his pockets
‘sorry, my nay speaks in taganese when she gets excited’
‘t-taganese?’
‘tagalog and japanese’
you nodded in understanding
it was time to put your basic reserach to test
‘hello po’
you greeted her and nervously took her hand and pressed the back of it to your forehead before slowly lowering it down and letting go
her wide eyes made you think you did something bad or even offensive!
‘i-i’
‘HAY NAKO, HAJIMEE~!’
she shrieked 
‘YUNG-!!! YUNG-!!!’
okay im terrified
iwa noticed his mother’s malfunction and gently wrapped his arm around her shoulder and veered her back to her kitchen
‘sorry about her, l/n-chan. its just,,,, hajime hasnt brought home a girl before. and you doing that mustve done it in for her’
you worriedly watched hajime calm his mom down with a smile and talking to her hushed
in their perspective,,,
‘shes so nice, nak! marry her, okay? shes very pretty and she made an effort to please your nanay, so go and marry her!’
ohmylord im nervous
initially, iwa only wanted to go and hang out with you and watch a movie
not have a full dinner with his family
lmao i shouldve told you that youve been friends for months now
his mother cooked sinigang and adobo and more filipino dishes, adding even more when she saw you were joining them
the dining table was covered with a large plate full of food and you were so fascinated because this was a side of iwa that you wanted to know more about
‘wow!’
you said, not thinking, at the deep-fried fish that still had its eyeballs intact
iwa genuinely thought you would’ve shyed away from it in disgust but your eyes were glistening with genuine interest
‘iwa-san! youre so lucky you get to eat this stuff!’
you told him, looking over at his direction
while mrs iwaizumi was lading in the soup into the big bowl, mr iwaizumi was sitting at the dining table, watching your interaction and hajime telling you what each food was and your noises of surprise
he watched his son laugh when you said the palabok reminded you of the orange boy hinata 
and he also watched his son look at you so lovestruck and exactly like how he looks at his wife
soon, his mother finished and they rounded the table before saying a quick prayer to bless the food and digging in
‘so, what do you want to start with, iha?’
mrs iwaizumi asked and your wide eyes looked around
‘hm, im not sure. whats your favorite iwa-san?’
you looked to your right towards hajime who was busy eating and stopped before pointing his lips towards a direction
‘that one’
‘hah?’
you asked 
mrs iwaizumi laughed at her son’s actions
‘sorry, l/n-chan, my son has adapted my traits. he was pointing to this, adobo. do you want some?’
‘yes please’
the smell made your mouth water and you started to tuck in
maybe it was your managerial instincts, but you used your napkin to wipe hajime’s lips and he was also used to this and turned his head to make it easier for you then he went to grab the water jug and re-fill your glass
once it was done, you both silently went back to eating
his parents watched his exchange and it was like watching a married couple taking care of each other
‘so, l/n-chan, you said you were their manager’
mr iwaizumi started and you nodded, wiping your lips
‘yes. i have been for a while now and please, call me y/n’
‘hajime actually told us he had a new manager for his team and tooru told us too. but we didnt know you were a girl. its just so interesting for hajime to bring you home as he has never really had any female friends’
mrs iwaizumi’s comment made you chuckle and iwa’s eyes widened in embarassment
‘nay! of course ive had female friends! ive had friends from all genders!’
he reasoned but you teasingly smiled at him
‘ah, im not really surprised. iwa-san doesnt exactly have the appearance that girls are brave enough to approach’
he sent you a betrayed glance
‘hah?! what’s that supposed to mean?!’
you shrugged, going back to your food
‘im just saying that you always have this intense look in your eyes and youre always frowning. but its cute so its fine. and besides, i dont think theyve seen you laugh since you dont really smile a lot, iwa-san’
‘but you’ve seen me smile!’
‘eung. but its only to me. if they knew the stuff i knew like you being a godzilla fan or your collection of succelents, theyd see you like oikawa-san’
‘HAH?! YOU SEE ME LIKE SHITTYKAWA?!’
mrs iwaizumi held her husband’s hand on the table as they watched you both bicker and tease each other with a smile
hajime has always been on the rougher side of things and he doesnt really have many close friends other than the team and even then, tooru is the only one he can really be himself around
yet here you are, bringing out the boy hajime really is and making him laugh, a sound his parents dont really hear outside the house
and your eyes
god, your eyes held admiration, life,,,, and you might not know this yet,, but love
her eyes trailed her son who teasingly headbutted you and you faking a surprise and doing the same
then you heard his father’s cough which brought you back to where you were and the situation and the people that were there
you felt embarrassment creeping up inside you and you bowed
‘im sorry for acting like that, iwaizumi-san. i-’
‘no, dont apologize, darling. please, dont’
her soft smile made the nerves in you ease and hajime’s father winked at him and he knew exactly what his father was trying to say
after dinner, you volunteered to wash the plates but they veered you away from there and towards the living room 
‘oh my god, pops! stop her!’
hajime whined because he knows what his mother was going to do
she was going to show him his baby pictures
you sat on the beige couch and watched as she reached under the coffee table and revealed a few albums that had iwaizumi hajime written on the cover
‘now, y/n-chan, hajime wasnt always this pouty. in fact, he used to always have a smile on his face and laughed at the littlest things! like right here! a leaf fell on him and he-’
stories of his childhood was exchanged throughout the night and you were laughing so hard that tears were falling out of your eyes while hajime wrapped your shoulders with his arm and he would squeeze you tightly whenever you made fun of him
‘oh dear! iwa-san! you-!’
you didnt finished as you continued to laugh and he sighed
‘nay, can we go eat dessert now?’
he asked his mother and she was beginning to feel sorry for him so she smiled and nodded
‘okay. hajime, come help me’
‘iwaizumi-san, i can-’
‘no, y/n-chan. dont you worry your pretty little head about anything and just look through more of these pictures’
hajime followed his mother to their kitchen before she stopped and turned around
his mother’s height was around 5′1 so she had to look up to meet his eyes and her hands were clasped around his biceps
she is definitely beautiful and he cursed at how little he got from his mother other than her skin color
mrs iwaizumi married her husband and immigrated to japan to have a family and your polite action from earlier moved her as she hasnt experienced that in nearly 2 decades
‘nay, shes,,,, just a friend’
he reasoned, a wobbly smile to cover up his want for that title to change
yet mothers def knows best and saw right through it
she gave him a firm look with furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips
‘nak, dont lie to yourself. i raised you to never tell a lie and lying to yourself is considered lying to someone. she’s not your KAibigan, shes your kaIBIGan’
now, hajime knew a little bit of tagalog as his mother made sure he was able to at least speak to his relatives back home
so he got a hint of what she was saying yet was confused 
then he realized it
his blush creeped up his neck and he chuckled, ducking his head low to avoid his mother’s eyes
‘nak, listen to me. papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako. youre still growing and you may be confused right now, but make sure to think wisely and dont live with regrets. nanay doesnt want you to go through it all by yourself since she knows how hard it was. so please, listen to me and pursue her. shes special, hajime. she makes you so, so happy. i see it in your eyes, her eyes, god has fated you together. i feel it’
now if a filipino mother actually tells their son to go after a girl, thats a pretty big thing as its known that mothers are the hardest to convince and are fiercely protective of their sons, especially if its an only son, but mrs iwaizumi literally tells hajime to go court you because she sees how happy you make him and is willing to let hajime go to you 
definitely his mother’s words stuck to him and as he walked you home, he was busy thinking that he was quiet and you were worried as he would be talking right now
‘iwa-san? you okay?’
you asked and he blinked, taken back to reality from his daydream
‘hm, yea’
he answered to look at you
hes been pining for months now and he slipped his hand into yours, holding it tightly
uwu if you want to see iwa moments with y/n, read through the seijoh manager series as theres a lot of them in there
he wanted you yet, he knew it would be selfish of him to keep you in the future
he would be a college student while you’re in your 2nd year
would you want to be so far away from him?
could you handle it?
‘yanno, iwa-san, your dad told me something interesting’
you suddenly said, squeezing his hand and kicking rocks while looking up at the night sky
‘what was it? something embarrassing?’
he immediately feared that they told you that story when he was still potty training and he fell straight into the toilet 
‘hmm,,, no. he told me that he met your nanay when she was a high school student and he was a in an intern at your lolo’s company’
iwa listened and he had a smile at how you said the tagalog word for grandfather
‘he said she almost ran him over by her bike and she fled but they met again when she visited your lolo. through that, they became friends and then she confessed to him. apparently, he declined because she was younger than him, although just 3 years, and he was leaving for his own country in a few months so he didnt know if she would wait for him’
were,,,, you reading his mind?
iwa knew of his parents story yet with you telling it, it sounded a million times more interesting
‘yet she promised him. thats it, just a promise. that she would remain faithful to him, she would keep herself for him and when she finally graduates, she would go and find him and they could be happy together. he said it was the longest 3 years of his life yet when he saw in the airport, he felt like the wait was worth it. because he gets to hold the embodiment of happiness in his arms for the rest of his life’
you finished and he hummed
‘times have changed, y/n’
‘even you?’
you stopped walking and he naturally stopped too
‘would you wait for me like he did if i promised myself to you? if i promised you that despite the few years of waiting, i would still be yours and remain yours until we’re ready to be together?’
WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!
iwa’s heart was drumming in his chest and he wanted so desparately to look at you in the eyes but you were making that impossible as your head was bowed and your eyes were fixed on the concrete you both stood on
‘of course, i would’
your head snapped up and e/c clashed with olive eyes 
‘i would wait for you. we may,,, be young right now. and they might think we’re,,, being impulsive. but i dont care. because right now, all that matters, is you and me. we can think about the consequences later, but right now, i just want to kiss you’
he admitted, red ears seen by the moonlight
your body shook
‘do it, no balls’
well,,,, he has the balls
and under the moon, at 8:34 pm, iwaizumi hajime kissed you
OML THIS REMINDS ME OF THAT SEIJOH SHORT WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO OIKAWA AND HIS NEIGHBORS ARE LIKE ‘AH SHITE HERE WE GO AGAIN’
it didnt come as a surprise to the team when yall announced your relationship
well,, you both actually didnt tell them outright until like weeks later
what can you say?
you and iwa are very private people and you dont really like to show off in public
even though yall lit rally are stuck to the hip and he does things that he doesnt even think hes doing but he is totally doing
you were only caught by,,, guess who
mrs iwaizumi
it was weeks when she met up with mrs oikawa bc theyre totally best friends and thats why their sons are best friends
she told her of her son’s girlfriend and how sweet you were and how mrs oikawa should be jealous that her son doesnt have a girlfriend like that and the standards for oikawa’s future girlfriend was raised just by that teasing
oikawa literally came into after school practice after a phone call with his mother, fuming
you were talking to kindaichi and yahaba with iwa beside you, arm around your waist totally not obvious guys
and yall just saw an angry oikawa stomping towards yall
‘y/n-chan, iwa-chan, why the hell did my mom just call me and tell me that im not allowed to bring home a girl if she doesnt have h/c with s/c (skin color) and e/c and h/m (height measurement)?’
you shrugged
‘oikawa-san, i’ve never even met your mom before’
but iwa had a hunch
‘ahh,,,, my mom mustve been bragging to your mom. yanno how they are’
oikawa shot him a disbelieving look
‘IWA-CHAN! ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND AND I DONT! BUT ITS WORSE THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS AFFECTING MY FUTURE ONE!’
he ranted, completely unaware that he just outed your entire relationship to the team
tbh they werent even surprised
like they were all ‘damn now shes taken. but cant say i didnt see that coming’
they took it pretty well too
they know how iwa is and they literally respect this mans and if anything, out of the whole team, he is the best candidate for your boyfriend
dating iwa is totally normal and yall just have increased touches?? like i dont know how to explain like he’s constantly holding your hand or arm around your waist or shoulder etc
literally nothing changed
you still have dinners at his house and iwa also knows your family and all that
and the most important thing is,
he kept that promise
even when he was literally at the other side of the world,
he still remained yours and you kept your own promise and waited patiently for his return
OOOOO TIMESKIP IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER
a little girl with bouncing dark brown hair was giggling as she maneuvered herself around the tall people
a shout from her parents and little sister was only making her run faster until she crashed into the legs of the person she’s been looking for
his blue jersey was similar to hers and she raised her arms up with a bright smile
‘uncle!’
she yelled and he chuckled before hoisting her up to his arms
‘ah, reyna-chan, didnt mom and dad tell you to wait for them? look! tala-chan is crying because you left her’
she followed his finger to her little sister, who was in her father’s arms, crying and reaching out for her
‘nee-chan!’
she screeched
finally, her parents were there and you were scolding her for running off
‘reyna, just dont do that again’
you said and she nodded, pouting and holding her uncle’s thumb
‘thank you, tooru-san. i dont know what i would do if she got lost’
oikawa grinned then gently patted the hat-covered head of the newborn baby girl that was strapped to your chest
‘hehe, its okay, y/n-chan. after all! uncle is always there to save reyna-chan!’
she shrieked when he held her up and hajime shook his head in his antics
‘where’s the others? i saw them in the stands but-’
he was cut off when he heard the shouts and yells from the other side that could only belong to your boys
‘woooo!!!!’
kindaichi’s voice echoed through the place and mattsuhana were rushing to greet their goddaughters
tala shyly accepted the arms of mattsun while makki was squealing quietly when darna was holding his finger tightly as she slept
‘taka-san, wanna hold her? she’s easier to hold when she’s sleeping’
‘oh can i?’
his eyes held the stars as the 11-month-old raised her fist then lowered it back down, sleep still heavy on her
‘waaa~ darna-chan is growing really quickly’
kunimi whispered, peering over his senpai to look at the baby whos eyes kept fluttering
you chuckled while looking at oikawa and him playfully bouncing reyna
‘tooru-san, congratulations on your win. it seems you’ve beaten hajime this time’
you complimented and the brunette smiled brightly at you, adjusting the little girls in his arms
‘ei, y/n-chan, i’ll beat him next time, and next time and the next time!’
every time he said ‘next’ he gave his goddaughter a kiss on her cheek making her giggle
your husband was pouting at the reminder of japan’s loss and you reached over to wrap your arms around him causing hajime to turn his head away from you
‘aww, my 4th baby is sad now’
you cooed and cupped his face delicately on your hands making him sulk and whine
the others, watching the scene, continue to be surprised at this side of their captain that remains to only be caused by you
‘ugh, nearly a decade later and theyre still sappy’
yahaba gagged and watari slapped his back
‘let them be happy’
‘come on! im in the mood for spaghetti! you like spaghetti, tala-chan?’
‘eung!’
mattsun cheered with kindaichi and she raised her hands to share the same energy
once everyone was situated in a restaurant and ordered, small talks were shared around the table of the past
‘haha, spaghetti is how your baba found out about you, tala-chan’
yahaba’s comment made the walking group laugh at the memory of seeing the video you sent in the seijoh group chat
‘i wanted to be creative with my second child since my firstborn was revealed by this loudmouth’
oikawa winced at the indirect diss at him
‘y/n-chan! i was really excited to find out i was going to be an uncle!’
‘youre already an uncle, bakakawa!’
hajime has toned down the insults to keep it pg for the children
‘but-!’
they started to argue, the oldest daughter looking disinterested as she sees this happening or hearing it whenever her dad and uncle video chat
‘it took me forever to find a ‘prego’ pasta sauce in the grocery store like i dont know why. was there a shortage?’
you complained, remembering the frustration
your fellow first years snickered at you and kindaichi prodded fun at you
‘is that why you just outright told him you were pregnant the day you found out?’
you rolled your eyes and watched makki and mattsun and tala watch the youngest as she wiggled her fists in the air and was awake enough to babble ‘makki’ over and over again
that was her first word and although she is now able to say a few words, she still repeats her first word over and over again
‘we had a fight and it just came out so of course i didnt have time to prepare!’
you defended and hajime finished his antics with oikawa just as you said that
‘what-what was your words again? ‘i really want to push you off the roof right now but i want my baby to meet their bastard father first?’‘
you gasped at that regretful statement and punched him in the arm
‘hajime! stop!’
you whined and covered your face with the sleeves of your his hoodie
‘hehe, y/n, you should do that again’
kyotani teased and you glared at him
‘shut up kyotani’
eyebrows were raised
‘eh? are you more hormonal?’
‘do you realize you already have 3 daughters?’
‘iwaizumi-san really wants to have a volleyball team family’
‘at least wait a year and a half, you animals’
‘so,, like hes that good huh?’
hajime growled and leaned over to intimidate but you snarled and jumped on your feet, being held back by the arms by kindaichi and hajime to stop yourself from leaping across the table to kill yahaba
‘keep talking like shite and i’ll make sure none of you become the godfather of this baby’
okay what
one, did you just curse
and two, this baby?!
‘im big sister again?!’
reyna ruined the surprised silence and then chaos ensued
‘WHAT!’
‘BABY?!’
‘THIS BABY?!’
you just realized what you said and smirked at the chaos you created and sat back down, leaning on the back of the chair and smugly taking a sip of your water
‘oh the power i hold in my hands’
you teased and oikawa pointed at you
‘when! how long!’
you looked at hajime who was so shocked that his eyes glazed over and a passerby wouldve thought he was dead
‘apparently 3 months’
oikawa started counting and his eyes widened at that thought
‘you-! you stayed in argentina! in my house! my house-!’
‘yep. both of them created under your house’
what 
!!!!!
hajime fainted 
oikawa screamed
a/n: okay i admit i got a little too carried away with this one. i just love filo!iwa and this was mostly written in his pov bc cmon we all know we love iwa and fell in love w him the moment we saw him
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chili-aux · 3 years
Note
Im honestly so done with aot fandom wars really. I now let people spew whatever shit they want. It gets toxic in the end. I started hating so many characters because of this irritating fandom till I realized that a bunch of teenagers dont have the right to steal my love for this story away from me. Theyre so ridiculous really it looks like a bunch of kids decided to watch AOT and miss the point entirely. Yams wrote a beautiful story that gets more interesting when you reread it. I wasnt even aware of shipping wars till I finished the manga only to realize its hellfire here. I just assumed oh Erwin loved Marry but chose the corps how sad. Shadis had a thing for Carla. Bittersweet. Oh Ymir and Historia loved each other. Tragic. Reiner is a historia simp great. Oh Levi and Hanji are closeted lovers who just cant accept they're into each other. And thats it. But I went online just to see wow manga discussions yaaay and I ran into middle school children shipping Levi with Eren/Mikasa I mean are you ok? Are you not unhinged? Do you need therapy? Seriously guys wtf? Levi/Erwin? WTF? They're literally brothers wtf? Hange/Moblit, WTF? Are you even aware of the concept of friendship and loyalty that runs in the army? Do you think everyone in the army is in love with each other wtf is this logic Im sorry Im so done with this fandom. AOT deserved better fans who'd appreciate the story and its depth. Apart from a few plotholes that made no sense. (Especially hanji's useless fking death, dude she could've lived ok its so unfair. Anyways) I also can't stand it when people start making Yuri and Yaoi ships of two clearly straight characters. I don't mind if you ship characters within a show that have some sort of legitimacy FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL. But literally changing everything about characters just so they can fit your idea of a stupid ship is pathetic. A character is so much more than someone you ship with someone. Grow tf really.
hi anon, thank you for sharing! i am tired too. i honestly cannot wait for the time i will get over this anime, but if that time comes, i will still ship levihan and probably continue making fanfics about them. at this moment though, I still hyper-fixate on this ship.
I agreed with some of your points, like that with a bunch of kiddos ruining our experience cuz damn, I've seen it a lot after I joined the fandom but I just stayed on my place and blocked a lot of them for peace of mind. And really, at first, I don't have any ship in aot not until i rewatched it for the 2nd time, that's when I have noticed levihan's bond then boom, I'm riding this ship forever. But when I dove through aottwt, I discovered that eren-levi and those ships that involved a veteran and a 104th member exist, damn I just wanna cringe so hard (or i did cringe hard) cuz why? that's fukcing illegal, my brain can't even comprehend why some people ship those characters who obviously treat each other in canon in a parental-child way.
and hange's death? so true! it's just useless when falco will have the ability to turn into a titan and fly by the later chapters -_- they're just one day away from the end of the rumbling but... fck I'm sad again.
however, i do not agree with some of your points.
disclaimer: I'm not mad anon!
eruri and mobuhan aren't illegal. people can ship them cuz of the exact reason that you said - the concept of friendship and loyalty that runs in the army. i admit I cannot see levi/erwin and hange/moblit in a romantic relationship too like how you perceived it, they're just more like superior-subordinate for me that I can't affiliate their relationship to bud in something that will surpass that. but the loyalty and friendship between those characters, i think, are enough for other people to ship them. why? because there aren't any spoken rules in shipping so we don't have the right to dictate what they ship (proshippers aren't included. stop.)
and babe, what's wrong with yuri and yaoi ships?? aot characters' genders aren't mentioned in the source material (though i see hange as nonbinary cuz of the searches that i made before when i kept on seeing gender wars that always involved hange.)
the case is, there's this term called 'projecting'. people are often doing this in the fictional characters that they love - projecting their identity or what they headcanon about this certain character that, whether we like it or not, often diverge away from the source material. i believed that there's no harm in doing so. they see erwin as gay? let them. they see nanaba as nonbinary? let them. they see levi as pansexual? let them. they ship mikasasha? let them. they ship ererei(erenxreiner)? let them.
it's pride month babe. and even if it's not pride month, people can ship yaoi and yuri. people can project their identities that they cannot express in real life to their favorite characters. and you can't stop them from doing so no matter what. that is their decision and we don't have a say on that. it's not pathetic nor dumb.
but yes, do not reduce any character to ship material. that's downright stupid. and as anon said, grow the fuck up.
thank you for sharing still. and as I've said, I'm not mad! i just want to clear some things that i don't share the same sentiment with you.
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tottymatsuno · 2 years
Text
Requests FAQ NO MINORS ALLOWED!
im sick of tumblrs text editors so im just gonna link to tiny urls.
https://abiesfir.tumblr.com/post/674702675586236416/updated-info-minors-and-blmtsuproshpper-dni
Everyone has been very polite to me, and I apologize because I'm writing this in a frazzled and agitated state so if it comes off as rude I'm sorry. I'll update with more questions as they come.
MINORS DNI
The Basics!
Who are you?/What's your age/What's your race?/How much free-time do you have?
I'm Robin, I am 26 and I am a black transmasc/genderfluid adult. I have mental illness and talk about it a lot, this blog is literally my healthy coping mechanism because I am currently unmedicated. I will not disclose anything else further on the matter. I am also physically disabled so a lot of my stories are unbeta'd bc of it.
I have a small baby and a wife so my time is very divided. I can't spend a ton of time editing and fixing things up perfectly and I don't actually have a beta editor. I do this to destress and as self care. So me enjoying the requests is important. Don't make me feel obligated to do these free requests bc I will get pressured and won't do them anymore.
Will You block me for being under 18?
YES, LEAVE, GO, DO NOT COME HERE, I DONT WANT ANY MINORS INTERACTING WITH MY POSTS! Leave!!! Don't fucking come in here!!! Don't bother, please just for the love of fucking God this is my one thing, minors and 18 year olds, GO HOME!
I HAVE WRITTEN MULTIPLE TIMES FOR MINORS TO LEAVE ME ALONE! I DONT WANT YOU HERE!
Can you do a request for X non African American culture?
No, I like to write for black american girls. Whatever I write would be culturally insensitive and would be solely based off of the stereotypes I know of. I wouldn't try to be racist or malicious, but I do this for fun and am not going to research a culture for a request. Not trying to be funny but there's also the fact that black girls are thoroughly under represented in self inserting/fics so I'm doing my part <3
You should def write your own though and link it back to me!! I would loooove to read it! I highly recommend and encourage for people to make the content they'd like to see!
What race are the Readers? Can I imagine myself or my own cultural/ethnic background?
All black! Every request, every reader, every story is written with a black woman in mind. All of them! And yeah go ahead! I try to avoid major character descriptions but yeah I don't mind! Have fun!
Why don't you write more trans fics if you're not cis and hc Totty as trans?
Hmmm, that's complicated but mostly because I struggle with gender issues involving being perceived as attractive and I deal with a lot of shame bc of it. If I'm a man and I like a woman, in my head I'm not allowed to be interested in her bc I'm not passing or presenting masculine. If she's a lesbian then I feel guilty because I'm a man. If she's bi I worry she'll think of me as a woman. Annd the same with men!
And I headcanon Todomatsu as trans and I do not want to come off as a chaser or being solely interested in him for being a woman. I wouldn't feel comfortable writing trans Totty sexually either bc I don't want to be offensive or weird. annnd I don't wanna base his trans status off of my experiences with my wife so. yea
Is this a requests blog?
No! This is a Todomatsu blog that DOES requests for fun! And not only is it a Todomatsu blog, its my self insert ship blog for Todomatsu. This is all for fun beloveds and I have the most fun making content for Totty.
Are you comfortable with like/reblog sprees?
GO AHEAD! Not gonna lie tho, it is kinda funny but does hurt my feelings when I see some of yall doing that and then not follow me...I have a couple regulars who show up everyday for like 2 weeks and then don't follow me. Follow me???
And gimme comments and laugh at my jokes and let me know I'm being funny and praise me???????? pls?
Can I DM you/Be your friend/Talk to you?
GO AHEAD!!!! I want friends!! If you wanna specific anon name you can have one, but feel free to be my friend! I'm not really anybody but that guy who doesnt stfu. i dont see myself really as a content creator or writer i literally am possessed and when I say this is mental illness baby you better believe my therapist knows all about Todomatsu and has heard half the shit I say on here.
Don't feel intimidated, I wanna be your friend more than you wanna be mine! Let's talk!
Requests!
How should we ask for requests
Preferably indicating if you want a bullet hc list, a minific (with your matsuno of choice or all brothers), your pronouns and the scenario.
If it's an art request please say so! If it's an art request from a meme link me the meme as well?
Are you still working on my request?
Unless I replied to the request itself and said no, then yeah. If I make a post referencing the request saying "I'll alter the prompt" its usually for my own comfort. But yeah, unless I answer the request without any text than yeah I'm still workin on it.
Some might take time because I have a very active life outside of this blog. My baby is high needs, I have lots of doctors appoints, I get hospitalized a lot, there's family emergencies, there's IRL obligations. I'm an adult, ik it might seem like it bc I'm glued to my phone but I have an adult's life.
It's taking a while, why is that?
Did you request a scenario with ALL six of the brothers, was it detailed, was it kinda just vague, did I make a text post saying I was working on it and it'll be a minific?
If so please know I'm working on it! Most minifics takes me a few hours to mentally map out - I'm doing SIX of them btw. Then I need to make an outline, SIX of them again. Then I need to actually write all SIX of them.
You answered my Todomatsu request right away but not my all boys request?
Because I'm a Totty blog! I don't hate the others and I love the requests I get but Todomatsu is my favorite I'm in love with him clinically and he is the current target of my diagnosed erotomania soooo I'm dropping everything to answer, draw, write, obsess and lust after him. Thank u send more requests of him specifically if u want a fast turnaround.
What makes you do a bullet list vs a mini fic?
if the request leads into a mini fic I'll do one. It's actually harder for me to think of bullet lists than mini fics so I kinda prefer mini fics.
Can request 18!matsu? Or a scenarios where the Matsunos have a SO that thinks of his brothers like their own?
No. The short of it is just NO. The long of it is: I have PTSD. My fear of interacting with children - especially little boys stems from deep seated childhood trauma. The most painful aspect of this of this trauma involves my step brother and several younger cousins. I will not further elaborate but I'm sure y'all catch my drift. Don't do it.
In my personal real life I am so terrified of men and boys younger than me that I refuse to think about men six months younger than me as attractive.
Do not ask me for anything involving the 18 vers of them that isn't strictly platonic.
And when I write I usually in some way or another imagine myself so if you want a request about the reader viewing the others as brother you must request only ONE brother and that's it. Do not ask me to write switching POVs from a reader who sees Oso-Ichi + Todo as little brothers while dating Jyushimatsu to a POV of Karamatsu being the love interest and the rest brothers.
I will shut down requests for a week if anybody asks for Todomatsu being seen as the reader's younger brother or Todomatsu under the age of 25. If it happens more than once I will no longer take requests indefinitely.
I sent a funny nonsensical joke and you didn't get it/I sent an anon and you didn't understand it?
I like things that I understand and with a context. I'm not ontop of all the latest memes and it's very hard for me to grasp when things are jokes.
What NSFW are you comfortable with?
https://tinyurl.com/whatwillyouwrite
Do you take Whump requests?
No is the short answer. No because I find the genre and fetish very uncomfortable as a disabled person. I don't like the idea of romanticizing people's suffering. I don't like the fact the genre is about kissing someone's pain better and then causing them more pain.
If someone was getting off to me crying or having a panic attack or my chest hurting or me getting taken to the ER or me fainting or me being physically dependent on them I would actually be very upset. I don't want to write about that because recovery is painful, yes but it's not a smut genre to me at least. Ik some whump isn't a fetish but it's so tied together. Anyways uh, no. Don't submit anything like that.
If you do and it slips through just know I probably didn't interpret it in the way you'd like and it'd be a serious piece and completely tonally unsexy and unfluffy. So save us both the heart ache.
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