#dracula things

[cedriiii]

the blood is the life

[legends-and-savages]

Tag Dump

[moodsandtenses]

There's something hilarious about how so much subsequent media has positioned Vampires and Werewolves as, like, binary opposite entities, and then you read Dracula (1897) and realize that wolves are that guy's preferred solution to every problem. You'd say something to Dracula about "ah yes, werewolves, vampires' great eternal enemies," and he'd just be like "you mean my subcontractors?"

[morganbritton132]

The funniest aspect of a child crime fighter is that sometimes they’re going to run into something that makes no sense because they don’t have the life experience. Because they’re nine.

Like Robin runs into a guy who works for The Penguin and the guy just throws his hands up like, “Don’t hit! I’m not an enforcer. I’m an accountant.”

Robin:

Robin, squaring up: I don’t know what that is.

[finchsflight]

The Carceridiots In Drac's Castle

So, I've been reading...(glances away from screen) definitely a normal amount of @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula's posts. A very normal amount. Therefore: here, have The Carceridiots (a trio of characters in the Forgotten Realms universe, all stuck in Carceri--not a campaign party just a story.). Under the readmore. Because. Uh. Blorbos From My Brain No One Knows About. that said please look at them I'm begging you, (fair warning this ended up. LONG.)

1. Rev(elation) Lochlara Low-wisdom reborn artificer who only pissed off the cult of Orcus a little bit when they were alive. Supposed to die; being a very, very good artificer, did not. Unfortunately for them the wizard that killed them stuck their corpse in Carceri so no one would find it and revive or talk to it. They woke up knowing very little and slowly remembering Hey I Know How To Do Artificing. Kind of a sarcastic feral bastard. The key thing with Rev (and all of them to be fair) is timing. If it's pre-Carceri versus post-Carcering but pre-partying up with Codex and Alister versus post-escaping Carceri everything's wildly different. That said I'm normal about them so let's just talk about all the options,

Pre-Carceri: Dracula is already dead. Kidding, kidding, but pre-death Rev (or, more accurately, Revelation) is a terrifyingly skilled artificer who Does Not Put Up With This and also, like, can recognize a vampire. They're from the Forgotten Realms. Revelation assumes Drac's working off normal D&D vampire rules but it doesn't actually end up mattering because even if the Daylight Glyph of Warding doesn't kill him a Catapult'd knife to the throat will. The traps on their door are enough to take out Strahd, Dracula's doomed. Or they just Planeshift themself out. Or they--you get the idea. Usually I try not to go 'ohh they're just So Scary dracula couldn't even touch them' but for Revelation that is unfortunately true. Revelation, Terrifying Reclusive Artificer, can survive Castle Dracula.

Post-getting dumped into Carceri but pre-meeting the other idiots: honestly it's a tossup. Overall supernatural belivingness is the same as everyone else's and I'm not gonna keep mentioning it--they're from the Forgotten Realms. Takes the crucifix, not because they're polite but because they hoard things with a vengeance and on account of the amnesia have no idea if it's important or not but like they're pretty sure gods are real. On account of how people keep trying to smite them. That said it doesn't really matter because they don't shave. Scheherazadeing Dracula's a tossup also--the actual answer is funny, I think, which is that Rev can keep Drac's attention as long as they don't realize they need to. Unlike Revelation they can't immediately recognize a vampire (and, like, so what if the dude doesn't breathe! Rev doesn't either!) and while I think their knowledge of artifice, general talkativeness, and also maybe being a little dead is enough to keep Drac entertained for a while I do think their genuine sarcastic bastardness might win out and get them killed. Also, if they realize they need to be keeping Drac entertained, they're screwed because they're not as charismatic as they think they are. 100% goes exploring. Quite possibly dies there also. Gets salty about Drac stealing their Favorite Gun. Goes through a lot of the rest like they're Jonathan; almost gets killed a few times, doesn't hit Drac with a shovel but does shoot him, possibly dies from just Not Being Fun Enough. In general, is probably okay about most of the weirdness especially since they don't actually have moving blood, but, they don't make it out for a major reason--they have a tasty 8 strength and Cannot Climb to save their life. Literally. They fall off the wall and to their death*. *hypothetically if the dice rolled very very nicely and they succeeded on their death saves they could live but they'd get eaten by wolves probably and 1000 feet fall damage is probably enough to instakill a low-level artificer, which means that Rev, Weird Dude In Carceri Who Knows How Guns Work, cannot survive Castle Dracula.

Post-Escaping: Might be okay. Maybe. They're a much higher-level artificer and can probably just, like, cast Feather Fall. Might not take the crucifix, though--at this point they're salty about gods. That said they still do not shave. So it's fine. Still can't really Scheherazade that well, but they know more about artificing and have more cool stories to tell, so...it's probably okay. Ish. Has established some decent mind-control wards, so that helps. Still does not have blood. Still will not stop exploring, however they can cast Invisibility now. Unfortunately, the thing that saved them in Carceri might be their undoing--after everything, they're really codependent with Alister and Codex. So the loneliness sucks. But, who knows! Maybe Drac doesn't steal their Sending Stones! (He does. Rev is sad.) All that said, Rev can cast a lot more stuff. And, like, cast Fly. Which helps a lot with the climbing part. It's also entirely possible that Codex or Alister teleports to Rev and gets them out. On the whole, I do think Rev, Weird Artificer Who Escaped Carceri, can survive Castle Dracula; however, they have a much worse time of it than Revelation, and it's almost certainly a close shave sometimes.

2. Alister Seacrest A once-very-good water genasi Oath of the Watchers paladin who fucked up so so bad and accidentally let the Far Realm in through his own cowardice, permanently making him weird and eldritch and also super duper breaking his oath and losing his powers. So so depressed and sad. Scary when he's motivated to actually not die; unfortunately that is rarely true.

Pre-Carceri: Honestly this is equally likely to be the thing that breaks his Watcher's Oath. He absolutely takes the crucifix (he is PREPARED! he is READY! he is going to be THE BEST PALADIN!), at this point in his life he has great charisma and is 100% able to Scheherazade his way through the Count, doesn't explore (or at least stealths decently well)... and then he runs into the whole baby situation, tries to fight because he is being a GOOD PALADIN DAMMIT and either wins (on account of how he was a pretty good paladin) or starts losing, panics, bolts, possibly breaks his oath, falls into despair, and dies. Or just gets severely slurped, because mmmm righteousness. If he somehow makes it through that (which he won't), the same thing happens with Dracula. In sort: Alister Seacrest, Warden of Reality, cannot survive Castle Dracula. Despite it being literally his job.

Pre-Partying-Up: Oh he's so dead. He is so dead. Unless Dracula forgets about him because he's just sitting around moping, he's so so dead. Does not take the crucifix, however he does not shave so it doesn't matter. Cannot keep Dracula entertained at all. Dracula asks about his past and he just has a breakdown. Doesn't go exploring but it doesn't matter Dracula's already killed him. Alister Seacrest, Sad Ex-Paladin, cannot survive Castle Dracula, and none of us should be surprised by this fact.

Post-Carceri: ...Maybe. Maybe. Look, he's still Severely Sad, but he's not as bad. Like Rev, pretty codependent. Still does not take the crucifix; still does not shave. He has a beard because he didn't shave for so much of Carceri and then he shaved it off because he was going 'well okay I'm gonna be okay now! I am cleaning up!' and then his face looked weird and he decided to just have a well-groomed beard instead. Probably also goes exploring, but probably doesn't get caught. Can't Scheherazade super well, but honestly, he probably makes up for that by just genuinely being a very interesting person. The baby incident does mean that he wants Dracula dead, but! He has grown as a person! And he knows he can't take down Dracula alone. So he bides his time, definitely gets hypnotized again and definitely is annoyed about it, and then yeets himself out the window at the first opportunity he has, climbs down the wall, and vanishes into the woods. He's got pretty solid Wisdom. The Jon-a-than is nothing, he could live in those woods. Wolves? Pffft, he lived in Carceri for years. This is fine. He fucks off and finds Rev and Codex to help him kill Dracula. So, honestly surprising me a tiny bit, Alister Seacrest, Kind Of Okay Dude, can survive Castle Dracula! He's gonna be reaaaaal sad though. Dracula took his favorite bow :(

3. Codex Nolastname Mildly terrifying warforged wizard-rogue situation. Pissed off a very powerful wizard by stealing an even more powerful artifact that essentially fused with her; can kind-of-sort-of command its power. Shakily. Has never put up with anyone's shit a day in her life, but occasionally does like people. Occasionally. Climbs walls constantly, to the frustration of everyone around her.

It is important that we note that Codex, as a robot, does not have blood. Moving on,

Pre-Carceri: The closest to a normal human we're sending in here, honestly. Probably is here to rob Dracula. Takes the crucifix 'cos it looks shiny and she can probably sell it to some theologist for a few gold; does not shave anyway so it doesn't matter. Why do none of my blorbos shave? Anyway. Obviously she explores--she's here for a heist! Might not even bother Scheherazadeing Dracula, which could get her killed--she doesn't have great charisma. But she is a very good thief, so...she might just be hiding in his walls for a month? I'm not sure. I don't think she eats food. Or drinks. Or needs to breathe. So...*shrug*. Either way, as a rogue who can cast Invisibility, her Stealth is through the roof. She finds the hoard, stuffs it in a bag of holding, and then bolts. At which point Dracula probably thinks she's already gone. I really thought she'd die, but no, her obscene Stealth modifier and propensity for a) being fully awake while she sleeps, b) never eating, drinking, or breathing, and c) climbing walls means that Codex, Crime Master, can survive Castle Dracula, probably.

Pre-Partying-Up: Similar to Pre-Carceri, but she's a worse wizard but also has terrible magics within her. Honestly things probably go similarly--if all else fails, Feather Fall and yeeting yourself out a convenient window always works, which means that Codex, Thief With Some Spooky Mechanisms, can also survive Castle Dracula, probably. Unless her spooky mechanism goes out of control and she explodes and dies! Which is possible.

Post-Escape: Honestly, she's even more well off--post escaping, Codex can actually control her Spooky Mechanism, which means in addition to obscene stealth modifiers, wizard magic, and not eating breathing drinking or being unaware while sleeping, she has terrible magics that archmages want stored away at least somewhat at her command. So she's probably fine, and can still survive Castle Dracula.

...Wow apparently I had thoughts about this. Cool. Go off, me. Now go actually write things instead of rambling about your blorbos.

[whatdoyouseemartin]

i love that one of jonathan harker's first reactions to being trapped in a terrible horrible no good very bad situation is to compare it to what is essentially pop cultural fiction for him. the arabian nights and hamlet would've been wildly popular at the time (especially given stoker's very close pals henry irving and ellen terry had just staged a successful run of hamlet in the west end and the rise of 'eastern' literature in victorian england)

it's the 1897 equivalent of blorboposting when you're going through it and being like "oh this is just like me fr"

[georgiacooked]

"....Can I have a Cigarette?"

So remember when I said I wanted to try sketches for every episode of TMA...

[halorocks1214]

*slides a twenty to the marvel rivals devs* hey, psst, i know what comic interaction you can reference when the fantastic four drops

[heavendraven]

so I finally got around to reading bram stoker's dracula (1897)

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

[goryhorroor]

“1950s horror movies contrast radically with their 1940s predecessors. understandably – they were reflecting a whole new world. audiences wanted stories that connected directly to their lives, to the ever-expanding technology in their homes and workplaces. they also wanted horror movies that played to their fears – stoked by politicians – of the shadows that lay beyond their immediate, personal experience of the shiny american dream (applies to some of these movies).”

[carm3n-carm3n]

i’ve crossed oceans of time to find you

[moonsun2010]

Continuing on what seems to be a yearly tradition of redrawing my 5 June Dracula Daily art! Thought I'd make it animated this time—DD2024's is linked here for comparison

[immediatebreakfast]

You may go anywhere you wish in the castle, except where the doors are locked, where of course you will not wish to go. There is reason that all things are as they are, and did you see with my eyes and know with my knowledge, you would perhaps better understand.

Once again, the "Dracula acts as the masculine gothic figure of the suspicious nobleman or the abusive husband" counter starts! Today we have, verbal limitation of space framed in a way that would make Jonathan feel like it's his fault if something horrific happens to him because he was told to not do so, on top of claiming that whatever reaction he could have is not worthy enough since he doesn't have the "correct" knowledge to understand it.

[yourgothbabydoll]

white wedding

[joptartsart]

I became the bow, grasped your pale hands And pulled back with all my strength

[reuploaded]