#drew this while watching House MD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arpov-blog-blog · 7 months

Text

..."As Republicans grilled Hunter Biden on Wednesday about his business deals overseas, the president’s son turned the question back on his interrogators.

He asked GOP lawmakers about foreign investments secured by Jared Kushner, the son-in-law of former President Trump, shortly after he left the White House, according to Democrats participating in the closed-door deposition.

“He drew the distinction between what he has done in a business world with independent businessmen, versus foreign governments, which he did not do any business with — unlike Jared Kushner,” Rep. Dan Goldman (D-N.Y.) said during a break in the testimony.

Among other roles, Kushner oversaw Middle East policy in the Trump White House, and he raised plenty of eyebrows when he secured a $2 billion investment from Saudi Arabia six months after leaving public service.

The scrutiny mounted further when The New York Times reported that the advisory panel for the Saudi sovereign wealth fund had recommended against investing in Kushner’s newly launched private equity firm, citing “the inexperience of the … management.” The advice was overruled by a larger board led by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, a close ally of the Trump administration.

Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md.) said the questioning throughout the morning has been largely cordial, but Hunter Biden became “assertive” when invoking the Kushner episode.

“He may be a little bit frustrated by some of the double standards relating to Jared Kushner and money that’s just been openly pocketed by Donald Trump in office,” Raskin said. “And Jared Kushner of course brought back $2 billion from Saudi Arabia. And all of that has been a part of the conversation, and he was assertive about that.”

When Democrats controlled the House, they opened an investigation into Kushner’s deal with Saudi Arabia. It was dropped when Republicans flipped the chamber and Rep. James Comer (R-Ky.) took the reins of the Oversight and Accountability Committee, which is now leading the impeachment investigation into Biden.

Still, Democrats said there appeared to be agreement among at least some Republicans when Hunter Biden brought up Kushner’s Saudi deal.

“There’s no cameras in there, [so] Donald Trump ain’t watching, right?” said Rep. Jared Moskowitz (D-Fla.). “For the first time Republicans said they do have a problem with that. But they should do something about it.”

Comer and the other Republicans in the room have largely declined to comment during breaks throughout Wednesday’s deposition, including on the topic of Kushner’s overseas business ventures.

Hunter Biden’s appearance on Capitol Hill has been long anticipated and comes months into House Republicans’ impeachment inquiry into President Biden. That multipronged probe has centered on the younger Biden’s business activities, alleging he used his father’s influence to orchestrate a web of shady overseas business ventures.

In his opening statement, Hunter Biden refuted the allegations.

“I am here today to provide the committees with the one uncontestable fact that should end the false premise of this inquiry: I did not involve my father in my business. Not while I was a practicing lawyer, not in my investments or transactions domestic or international, not as a board member, and not as an artist. Never,” Biden said during his opening statement."

9 notes · View notes

justfandomwritings · 5 years

Text

Urban Legends (Part Four - Chris Beck)

Pairing: Chris Beck x Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: nada

Summary: (Y/n) Watney was something of an urban legend at NASA. Commander of the Ares I mission, (Y/n) was the first human to set foot on another planet. She heard names like Neil Armstrong and smirked. She was on her way to being the most famous astronaut in history, and she was determined to bring her brother along for the ride. She recommended Mark to Vincent Kapoor. She helped him get on the Ares III mission to Mars.

Her brother was stuck on Mars because of her, and she was determined to bring him home.

After all, if he was the first human to die on another planet that would thoroughly steal her thunder; and she couldn’t have that.

Start From the Beginning With… Part One

Previously On... Part Three

‘What’s in a name?’ For a rose, not much. Roses weren’t sentient beings. Being called a rose didn’t shape them in any way. They didn’t respond to their name. They didn’t know they were called roses. They didn’t have personalities or lives that were in any way shaped by experiences tied to that name.

A rose would smell as sweet by any other name because a rose wasn’t conscious to choose how sweet it smelled.

A person, in fiction or in life, did not have that luxury.

Names held great power and sway over minds.

Sure, if you chanted Bloody Mary in the bathroom mirror three times no woman was going to miraculously appear over your reflection’s shoulder to kill you. But every bump for the rest of the night, every creak of the house settling, hoot of an owl outside, thud of a family member on a midnight snack run, was going to unsettle you.

Because the woman showing up to kill you would mean that she had the power, but your frightened attentiveness proves her name holds a weight all its own.

In reality, names can hold just as much sway. They shape who we are. They influence our friends, our attitudes, our lives. They are by far the most important thing in your life over which you have no say.

Unless of course, we’re talking about nicknames.

Then again, most people don’t get any say over those either.

(Y/n) and Amy came to a quick and surprisingly easy understanding.

Like her brother, Amy was a doctor. Though Amy had no ambition of going to space, she applied her trade to similarly impressive, groundbreaking fields. She was, as (Y/n) only learned after weeks of living with her, one of the country’s foremost leaders in cancer research, a job that had brought her to MD Anderson, and by extension Houston.

While the hours weren’t quite as hectic as running shifts in a hospital, Amy still found herself in and out of the apartment at odd, though thankfully predetermined times.

At the beginning of each week, Amy would walk into the kitchen and paste a magnetic calendar to the fridge detailing her schedule for the week and when she would be out of the apartment.

(Y/n) used this as a template to work out when she could take over the living room. While she’d been staying there, (Y/n) had preferred working from the hotel room, and that continued when she’d moved in with Amy. There were too many eyes at NASA, curiously watching her every move. Every mouth went still when she walked in the room, and on more than one occasion, (Y/n) had walked down the hall to find coworkers pressing ears to the door of the office she’d commondiered, trying to listen in on her.

The hotel had been easy and convenient to turn into one massive office, the apartment less so.

(Y/n) was acutely aware of the favor Amy was doing for her and just how above and beyond she had gone for a woman she’d never met. (Y/n) had to help her brother, but she didn’t want to repay Amy’s support by trashing her place.

(Y/n) “borrowed” a rolling whiteboard and several rolling supply carts from the Space Center. Knowing when Amy would be out, (Y/n) could spread her supplies all over the apartment and pack them away just in time for her roommates return.

Amy would, quite regularly, walk in to find (Y/n) only just rolling the last cart back into her room. In which case, she would always ask, “Anything?”

And (Y/n), unable to bear answering out loud, would shake her head.

It was on one particularly rare occasion that Amy came home early and found (Y/n) sitting on the floor surrounded by maps of what appeared to be Mars surface.

Amy was by no means a ninja, but most people would’ve thought she was because her entrance to the room didn’t seem to wake (Y/n) from her papers at all. She could’ve let her keep working. Amy actually considered slipping past and saying nothing. (Y/n)’s concerted efforts to clean up before Amy got home were largely unnecessary. Amy didn’t really mind the mess. What she minded a great deal was (Y/n) seemingly working herself to death, and that glazed look to her eye was what changed Amy’s mind.

Amy let her bag hit the floor at the corner of one of the maps with a loud thud.

(Y/n)’s head jerked up. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t know it was so late. I’ll clean up.”

“No, I’m early.” Amy waves away the suggestion and joined (Y/n) cross legged on the floor. “Any progress?”

(Y/n) wordlessly shook her head and diverted her eyes back to the map she was clutching in her hands. “He’s still on the move, has been every day.”

“Maybe it’s just an extended test run?” Amy suggested. “You said it would take a significant amount of planning to get to Ares IV.”

(Y/n) unclenched her fists folding the map in front of her and laid it out on the floor between her and her friend. “Some people at NASA think that,” (Y/n) nodded, “but I don’t.” (Y/n) traced a circle around the Ares III site, “Before he embarked, Mark drove this loop on a charging cycle, always staying within walking distance of the HAB.”

Amy followed (Y/n)’s finger carefully, “So he was making sure his vehicle functioned properly?”

(Y/n) snapped and pointed a finger to Amy, “Exactly! But why? That’s the question we’re all arguing over. Some people at NASA think the loop was just a quick check to see if his adjustments worked, and that this drive is meant to be a long-haul test for Ares IV.”

“And you?” Amy prompted.

(Y/n) ran a shaking hand through her hair with a heavy sigh. “My brother’s too intelligent for that. I mean, I could buy that he would do a longhaul test to get estimates of the rover’s power supply and capabilities, but he was so cautious the first time to stay at a distance where he could save himself. He wouldn’t just abandon that. If this were Ares IV prep, he’d have stayed in close to the HAB. I think the laps around the HAB were prep for this.”

“Maybe,” Amy pondered for a moment. It’s not that she thought she could come up with anything new; she wasn’t the rocket scientist after all. Amy imagined (Y/n) had thought of everything by now. She really just hoped that she could be an ear for (Y/n)’s ideas. “Maybe, he wanted to try it over different terrain? You said the Ares III site is flat, right?”

“Then why wouldn’t he go this way?” (Y/n) lined a rough path towards Ares IV. “Wouldn’t you naturally head in the direction of your end goal? Any little bit of practice helps; he wouldn’t waste it heading the opposite direction.”

Then a thought occurred to Amy. “You say you’ve all been arguing over the why he’s doing this right?”

“Yeah,” (Y/n) tossed the map back into the piles scattered around the floor.

“Well maybe that’s the wrong question.” Amy snatched up the map (Y/n) had just abandoned and held it up for her. “If he was going the other direction, you wouldn’t be questioning it. You would assume it was a test run because that’s the direction of Ares IV.”

“Right.” (Y/n) didn’t really see where this was going.

Amy snatched up a sharpie off the mess on the ground and drew a generically straight line towards Ares IV, not at all the path Mark would have to take but it made a point. “You would never ask ‘the why’ if he’d gone this direction because you know ‘the what’. So start asking yourself ‘what’ is he going to that’s more important than Ares IV.”

There was a moment of silence. (Y/n) stared at the aerial photo of Mars Amy was clutching in her hands. Her expression was, for that long pause, entirely unmoving. Her chest didn’t rise or fall. She didn’t blink. To Amy, it was like someone hit the pause button on her roommate.

And then, all at once, they were in fast forward.

(Y/n) threw herself across the floor, grabbed Amy’s bag and shoved it into her hands. “Drive.”

“Where are we going?” Amy asked.

(Y/n) was in a flurry, snatching a folder off the couch, grabbing a map from her cart that was almost as tall as she was, and ripping the Sharpie from Amy’s hand.

“NASA.”

(Y/n) raced out of the apartment at top speed, and Amy didn’t ask question, only followed hot on her heels.

(Y/n) didn’t even notice. Her eyes and ears were tearing through her pockets till the moment she sat down in the car.

“My phone, damnit!” She finally pulled it out of her back pocket as Amy cranked the car.

“Henderson!” Amy was sure whoever (Y/n) called must’ve been on speed dial because no human could type as fast as she got that man on the phone. “Meet me in Meeting Room 13A with Kapoor, Sanders, and Montrose.” The usual pause of one-sided conversations followed. “Yes, it’s important! I’m on my way in now. Tell the gate I’m coming.”

As Henderson went to hang up, (Y/n) shouted down the phone, “And get JPL on the line!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Please state your name and purpose for your…”

“She’s with me.” (Y/n) cut off the guard, shoving her pass across the driver’s seat into his hand.

Amy sat as far back as her seat allowed and stared straight ahead with bug-eyed horror.

“Miss Watney,” The security officer ducked down to check that it was, in fact, her. “Apologies.” He handed back the pass and waved their car through.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So you’re going to be, like, famous.”

(Y/n) snorted, immediately followed by a pained groan as she felt her beer going up instead of down her throat. “Yeah, I guess,” she wheezed. “But not in the celebrity way.”

“No,” Mark rolled his eyes, “in the ‘my-face-will-be-on-the-cover-of-history-textbooks’ sort of way. Poor you,” he mocked sympathy.

(Y/n) stole a cheese covered fry from Mark’s plate and made a show of dropping it into her mouth. “Yep,” she smacked down with a smug grin.

“Do you get to pick your nickname?” Mark asked. He grabbed his next cheese-coated fry and inelegantly slurped the sticky yellow off his fingers as he talked. “Cause you don’t want it to be something weird. It’s going to be under your headshot for millennia.”

(Y/n) hadn’t really thought about her nickname. She hadn’t thought about millennia either. She’d been far too present in the here and now to think to think past the news she’d received that morning. She hadn’t made it to customizing her spacesuit yet, and she definitely hadn’t confronted the fact that soon, very soon, every human alive, potentially every human for the rest of forever, would learn her name.

She was a bit busy confronting the contract NASA’s in-house attorney had just made her sign. A boring suit in a back office at Johnson Space Center had just confirmed for her, ‘Congratulations, Miss Watney. You’ve been named Commander of Ares I. It seems you will be the first person to set foot on Mars.’ The finer details like eternal glory and monogrammed jackets hadn’t really crossed her mind yet.

“Why don’t you pick one for me?” (Y/n) stole another cheese fry. She felt like she’d earned it.

Mark thought about it for a second. “Well you could just go with Princess. It’s worked for you this long.”

(Y/n) glowered.

“Fine, fine,” Mark dismissed. “You could play up the space theme, go with something like Nova or Andromeda.” Mark immediately shook his head, thinking better of it. “Nova’s overused, and people might mistake it for your real name. Then you wouldn’t be the famous one. Plus, Andromeda’s a mouthful. Gotta have something those little first graders can spell out on their pop quizzes.”

(Y/n) shook her head and laughed under her breath. Mark pretended not to notice, and (Y/n) didn’t press the issue. She’d let him have his fun.

“You could play up being first!” Mark faked excitement. “What about Gold or Alpha, maybe Uno!” He clapped his hands like a child on Christmas.

(Y/n) arched an eyebrow and waggled a fry, soggy with cheese, in his face. “Don’t think I won’t throw this at you.”

“War?” He pushed with a smirk. “Ya know, because Ares is.”

The fry flew out of her hand and smacked Mark across the cheek.

“Hey! I wasn’t done! I’m full of great ideas!”

(Y/n) snickered all the way to the bathroom to wash her hands, her brother shouting nicknames after her as she went.

“Big Red?” He called out. “What about Pathfinder, first rover, first human?”

In the end, her team had named her Skywalker. She wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or not.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Y/n) stormed into the room already unrolling the map under her arm as she went.

Amy followed sheepishly behind. It wasn’t that she felt out of place. She’d spent her life dealing with high pressure situations. That sort of setting wouldn’t phase her, and neither would the company. She wouldn’t have made a very good doctor if an important director or important decisions made her clam up.

It was more the banging down doors and disturbing what was an otherwise serious atmosphere that wasn’t Amy’s forte.

“This is Dr. Beck.” (Y/n) didn’t turn around. Already her attention was stolen away by magnetting her massive map to the massive whiteboard taking up the back wall. “No, not the one who’s up in space, his sister. Who as it happens, has just figured out what my brother is doing.”

“She has?”

“I have?”

The questions came up from Teddy and Amy.

Amy knew it was Teddy because she’d met Mitch Henderson on several occasions, and Vincent Kapoor once. Annie Montrose did the usual NASA press conferences, including the one where Amy’s brother was announced as a member of Ares III; Amy kept a recording of it saved to her computer. She didn’t understand his interest, but she was proud of him nonetheless.

Teddy’s face had only graced Amy’s memory once. Watching the announcement that Mark Watney was alive.

“She has.” (Y/n) turned. “You have,” She smiled at Amy.

(Y/n) produced her stolen sharpie from her pocket and turned back to her map. The cap had ruptured from the ill-treatment (Y/n) had given it on the drive over, and dark blue ink was slowly leaking out over (Y/n)’s fingers, not that she noticed.

Standing on her toes, she drew a circle around the top corner of the map. From their usually brief conversations and the simple process of osmosis, Amy knew it was Ares IV’s campsite.

(Y/n) extended the line down a few inches across the paper then paused to draw an arrow.

Amy was smart enough to guess that was where Mark was now.

Then she continued the line down to the bottom corner of the paper and drew a massive X.

Turning back around, (Y/n) stabbed the tip of her marker into the crosshairs. “He’s going for Pathfinder.”

Crackling over a speaker in the center of the table announced another member of their gathering. “Oh God.”

“Bruce,” (Y/n) braced herself against the wood. “Can you get it working on our end?”

“Yeah, but there’s no telling what state it’ll be in when Mark gets there.”

“He’ll fix it.” (Y/n) said.

“It’ll take a lot of work. Pathfinder’s been abandoned up there for decades without any kind of maintenance.” Bruce contradicted.

(Y/n) leaned over the intercom and said with unwavering certainty. “He’ll fix it.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist:

Forever Taglist:

@maybe-a-fangurl / @libbymouse / @geeksareunique / @deathbyarabbit / @spilltheearlgrey / @ryanbarnesrogers /

Series Taglist:

@multifandombabelover / @cutiepiemimi13 / @captainscanadian / @harishaanne / @andtheytoldustotellyouhello / @diabla-seis66 / @thebestofoneshots / @harishaanne / @bitch-imma-head-out / @hero-ically

#chris beck imagine #chris beck x reader #chris beck fanfiction #the martian fanfiction #the martian imagine #chris beck x you #chris beck x y/n #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine

135 notes · View notes

dearestpandababe · 4 years

Text

The Outting by Maeve MD (please credit)

The only time Grandma was ever seemed happy was when she was with Aunt Lynn. In all the family pictures with them, her smile appeared more genuine. After my Grandpa left her, Grandma closed off when the family came around. I think she was so entwined in her old fashion views, that even though she wasn’t happy with Grandpa, she couldn’t stand the idea of divorce. I also believe the fact Aunt Lynn never married made Grandma feel less like an outcast. They didn’t have a blood relation, but they took care of each other.  

I remember when I was younger, I would rush to see Grandma as a little kid does, and I remember wanting to make her laugh as much as Aunt Lynn made her laugh. I envied her. Instead, Grandma would smile a fake smile and give an awkward side hug. Then, she sent me on my way to play with my cousins. I grew up asking my cousins if they felt like she separated herself from us and they agreed. It seemed like she distanced herself the most with me. My cousins told me little tokens of information that she told them throughout the years, but when I stayed with her the silence was heavy enough to feel on my chest. On occasions, she asked the obligatory questions about school, work, and love. Other than that, we sat in silence, while I waited for her to give me my token of information.

Now, the only information I get about Grandma is through all the pictures and books piled around the living room. Grandma’s house didn’t have many things, but still enough to make it a week event cleaning it. Going through her things was surreal since I didn’t know her that well. When she passed, I was shocked more than hurt. How could I have been hurt? I didn’t know her, and she didn’t try to know me. I felt guilty about taking advantage of the freedom I had during the night to go through her things. For years, I wondered who she was and what made her so reserved. I wanted to know the person that never came to the Grandparents Days at school. 

I reached the end of another box filled of photos, newspapers, and decorative cards. I’ve heard of people talking about their loved ones sensing when their time was coming, but Grandma seemed to have planned for her passing at any moment. Everything in her house was cleaned and organized. She had large boxes labeled by years, then those boxes held smaller boxes. Aunt Lynn told me how every 5 years she would have to help Grandma lug the large boxes to the attic, only for a new box to be started. Grandma wanted to make it easy for us to get all the photos and memories we wanted to keep out when she was gone.

I pushed the empty box away after sorting all the stuff and got up to investigate Grandma’s office. Since her room told me nothing about her, it only made sense she kept her personal things in there. When I flipped the office light on the polished mahogany bookshelves and matching desk beamed. I noticed that the case with glass doors was lined with journals. I pulled on the handles, but to no surprise it didn’t budge. I let out a “fuck.”  

The other bookshelf had classics lining the shelves and the top of her desk only had mundane decorations. I sat in the plush, black swivel chair and did what anyone would do. Spin. After a few moments of trying to spin myself so that maybe my brain would get dizzy enough to release some serotonin, I started looking in the drawers of the desk. I shuffled through papers, paper clips, stamps, and envelopes. Nothing. 

 I reached the last drawer and saw a notebook labeled for this year and underneath it was a book labeled for 2005. That was the year Grandma and Grandpa split. That really hurt us as a family, but I remember their wedding anniversary. I smiled at the vague memory. I remember running around with my cousins and napping. I opened the journal to August 5th to see only a paragraph, if that. It read “Of all the fucking days, it had to be this one! And of all the people it had to be my damn grandchild! Everything is ruined because of Jenna. She had to walk in on me with Lynn. At the wedding anniversary! She had to tell Richard ‘I saw grandma kissing Aunt Lynn’. I know it’s not really her fault she’s young. She thinks Lynn and I are sisters. She doesn't understand kissing, or anything for that matter. But she’s ruined everything. Richard wants a divorce now. And I can’t really blame him. In reality, it’s all on me. I love Richard, but I don’t love him. I can finally be with Lynn, but I lost my best friend in the process. And I hate that I put him through this.” 

I felt myself being strangled. I had ruined her life. I didn’t remember that day well, but I remember that shortly after their anniversary Grandma and Grandpa divorced. I felt myself become flush and my eyes well up. I caused them to split up. I outed Grandma. The lights in the room shut off, and the glass doors of the bookshelf shattered. I ran to the living room to see papers being thrown everywhere by an invisible force, like watching a little kid kicking stacks of papers during a tantrum. I tried to run to my cell phone, but I was slammed to the ground by something falling on my back. 

 I heard voices and sirens blaring. I couldn’t see anything, but I could tell I was in an ambulance. The back doors to the truck flew open and the light form the sun came in. I had been unconscious in the house by myself for hours. The gurney rolled out and the nurses ran me inside. I could hear one shouting “Her name is Jenna! She has brain swelling from a ceiling fan falling and crushing her! We have no idea how long she has been out!” 

I rolled by the waiting room and saw the tv go static and then flick back on as I passed. When I got into the operating room, they hooked me up to machines and put me on a gas mask. As I lost consciousness again, I saw the shadow of an older women on the wall. She stood there while everyone hustled around me. The EKG machine went out, and then all the lights went with it. The shadow drew closer. I knew her. I knew her well. Grandma came closer, and then there was nothing. 

2 notes · View notes

nuclearblastuk · 5 years

Text

AS I LAY DYING | Band release official video for 'Blinded'

AS I LAY DYING | BAND RELEASE OFFICIAL VIDEO FOR 'BLINDED' In one week. San Diego quintet AS I LAY DYING will release their seventh full-length Shaped By Fire on September 20th via Nuclear Blast. Today, the band is proud to release the official video for the fourth single, 'Blinded'. Watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1A5l8sKugg Tim Lambesis comments, "We had an incredible experience working with Frankie Nasso, who chose to direct the video for 'Blinded' based largely on his personal passion for the band. Additionally, there was incredible energy from fans who showed up for the shoot which made it an unforgettable experience!" Pre-order your copy of Shaped By Fire in the format of your choice here: http://nblast.de/AILDShapedByFire Pre-save the album on Spotify, Apple Music, and Deezer: http://nblast.de/AsILayDyingPreSave Shaped By Fire was produced by the band and was mixed by Joseph McQueen at Sparrow Sound in Los Angeles, CA while mastering was completed by Ted Jensen at Sterling Sound in Nashville, TN. The only exception was for the track 'My Own Grave' which was produced by AS I LAY DYING, co-produced by Drew Fulk and mixed by Adam 'Nolly' Getgood. The artwork was created by Corey Meyers. Shaped By Fire will be available in the following formats:

- CD Digipack - Black Vinyl - Clear Vinyl - Beer W/ Black Splatter Vinyl (Limited to 2000) (USA) - Bone W/ Black Splatter Vinyl (Limited to 500) (USA) - Red W/ Black Splatter Vinyl (Limited to 250) (USA) - Orange / Black Swirl Vinyl (Limited to 250) (USA) - T-shirt Bundle (Includes CD digipack & t-shirt available in sizes: S-XXL) (USA) Shaped By Fire track list: 1. Burn To Emerge 2. Blinded 3. Shaped By Fire 4. Undertow 5. Torn Between 6. Gatekeeper 7. The Wreckage 8. My Own Grave 9. Take What's Left 10. Redefined 11. Only After We've Fallen 12. The Toll It Takes

More on Shaped By Fire:

'Shaped By Fire'

OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=LdUhTHGR1Tk

'My Own Grave' Music Video:

https://youtu.be/Q0wbyQRRQJA

'Redefined' Music Video:

https://youtu.be/UnQUDQpnG3M

Album Trailer #1:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=xtG6uWeFq4w

Album Trailer #2:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ohQfQjKqc74

Album Trailer #3:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Jpd6OdRa7Ow

Album Trailer #4:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=WeQHgvCZGrE

Album Trailer #5: https://youtu.be/rirSbqjUcHc

By the end of the week, AS I LAY DYING will kick off their 'Shaped By Fire' world tour. The trek will include 2 dates in Russia before heading across Europe with CHELSEA GRIN, UNEARTH and FIT FOR A KING. Tickets are now on sale at http://asilaydying.com/tour.

AS I LAY DYING 'Shaped By Fire Tour' - Latin America 2019 07.09. BR São Paulo - Tropical Butantã TICKETS 08.09. BR Rio de Janeiro - Circo Voador TICKETS 10.09. RA Buenos Aires - El Teatrito TICKETS 12.09. RCH Santiago - Blondie TICKETS 14.09. MEX Mexico City - El Plaza Condesa TICKETS 15.09. CO Bogotá - Auditorio Lumiere TICKETS 'Shaped By Fire Tour' - Europe 2019 w/ CHELSEA GRIN, UNEARTH, FIT FOR A KING 24.09. RUS St. Petersburg - Cosmonavt* TICKETS 25.09. RUS Moscow - Glavclub* TICKETS 27.09. D Leipzig - Haus Auensee TICKETS 28.09. D Hamburg - Sporthalle TICKETS 30.09. N Oslo - Rockefeller TICKETS 01.10. S Stockholm - Fryshuset Klubben TICKETS 02.10. DK Copenhagen - Amager Bio TICKETS 03.10. D Berlin - Columbiahalle TICKETS 04.10. CZ Prague - Forum Karlín TICKETS 05.10. D Munich - Zenith TICKETS 06.10. A Vienna - Gasometer TICKETS 07.10. H Budapest - Barba Negra TICKETS 09.10. I Milan - Maggazzini Generali TICKETS 10.10. CH Zurich - Volkshaus TICKETS 11.10. F Grenoble - La Belle Electrique TICKETS 12.10. E Barcelona - Sala Apolo TICKETS 13.10. E Madrid - La Riviera TICKETS 15.10. F Paris - Bataclan TICKETS 16.10. B Brussels - Ancienne Belgique TICKETS 17.10. NL Tilburg - 013 TICKETS 18.10. D Saarbrücken - E-Werk TICKETS 19.10. D Cologne - Palladium TICKETS *AILD only 'Shaped By Fire Tour' - North America 2019 w/ AFTER THE BURIAL, EMMURE 15.11. USA Las Vegas, NV - House of Blues TICKETS 16.11. USA Phoenix, AZ - The Van Buren TICKETS 18.11. USA Dallas, TX - House of Blues TICKETS 19.11. USA Houston, TX - House of Blues TICKETS 21.11. USA New Orleans, LA - House of Blues TICKETS 22.11. USA Atlanta, GA - Buckhead Theatre TICKETS 23.11. USA Charlotte, NC - The Fillmore TICKETS 24.11. USA Wantagh, NY - Mulcahy’s Pub and Concert Hall TICKETS 25.11. USA Boston, MA - House of Blues TICKETS 26.11. USA Philadelphia, PA - Theatre of Living Arts TICKETS 27.11. USA Pittsburgh, PA - Roxian Theatre TICKETS 29.11. USA Silver Spring, MD - The Fillmore TICKETS 30.11. USA Buffalo, NY - Town Ballroom TICKETS 01.12. USA Reading, PA - Reverb TICKETS 02.12. USA Cleveland, OH - House of Blues TICKETS 03.12. USA Chicago, IL - House of Blues TICKETS 04.12. USA Minneapolis, MN - Varsity Theater TICKETS 06.12. USA Denver, CO - Summit TICKETS 07.12. USA Salt Lake City, UT - The Complex TICKETS 09.12. USA Seattle, WA - El Corazón TICKETS 10.12. USA Portland, OR - Wonder Ballroom TICKETS 11.12. USA Sacramento, CA - Ace of Spades TICKETS 12.12. USA Ventura, CA - The Majestic Ventura Theater TICKETS 13.12. USA Los Angeles, CA - The Regent Theater *SOLD OUT* 14.12. USA San Diego, CA - SOMA TICKETS 15.12. USA Los Angeles, CA - The Regent Theater TICKETS

#as i lay dying #heavy metal #shaped by fire #nuclear blast

3 notes · View notes

sirkkasnow · 5 years

Text

09 Catch Your Breath When You Can

Ao3 link

07/17/13 Wednesday evening

Stan was shoulder deep in the Fairlane’s engine compartment when the kids finally made it home late that afternoon. Dipper waved and headed straight inside; Mabel came over to lean casually against the front fender. “So?”

“There’s a meatloaf in the fridge for dinner an’ we’ve got potatoes, and I guess the fixins for salad if you’re into that kinda thing.”

Mabel pressed both hands over her eyes and groaned in protest. “Nooooooo. I mean did you call her? Did you get to do your something nice whatever it was? You’ve gotta be almost done with the car!”

“Yep, almost done.” Stan straightened up with a sigh and latched the hood. “Gonna fire it up in the morning, see where we’re at. Probably a day, day an’ a half to finish up, then she’s free t’go.”

“You’re not just gonna let her walk out of here, right?” She was peeping out at him between fingers now, looking horrified. “I know you’d both regret it.”

Stan pinched his lips against a smile - his poker face was cracking. “Well, I maybe mighta lined up a flick after dinner. So if you could help keep the nerd brigade occupied that’d be great.”

Mabel produced a whistle-shrill hypersonic squeal of delight and flung herself at him for a hug. “I knew you could do it! Consider the nerd brigade well and truly distracted! You report to me on everything, got it?”

“Mabel, c’mon, it’s just a movie.” He was grinning anyway as he swiped down his hands.

The five of them gathered for what proved to be a noisy meal. One tiny nudge from Mabel was enough to derail the conversation into DD&MD worldbuilding. “Clary’s about to leave,” she said firmly, “she hasn’t gotten to play one game and we need to fix that.” Within fifteen minutes the rulebooks were scattered across the crowded kitchen table and both Ford and Dipper were talking scenarios and taking notes.

Clary had spent most of the afternoon napping. She looked crisp and refreshed, a froth of peony pink silk knotted off-center at her throat, tossing an occasional suggestion into the chaos. Mabel vanished for a minute or two as the plates were cleared. When she returned it was with arms full of scrapbooking supplies and an unsubtle jerk of the chin towards the living room.

Stan took the hint and slipped out unnoticed, setting up a dinette chair next to the recliner. He tracked down a couple of pillows and a light blanket to make the whole thing a little more comfortable. Clary showed up a few minutes later, hands in pockets, still smiling to herself. “I’ve been banished,” she murmured over the background conversation from the kitchen. “So they can surprise me in the morning.”

“Damn shame, too bad, movies are under the TV.” He punched the pillows in a mostly-futile effort to fluff them up as she knelt to sort through the cabinet. He’d tracked down the remote and gotten comfortable in the recliner by the time she waved a worn black-and-white cardboard sleeve at him: Captain Of Her Heart.

“Old-school okay?”

“Um. It’s mushy.”

“I can handle mushy.”

“It’s sad.”

“I can handle sad and I’m not in the mood for nature documentaries.” Clary slotted in the tape, fiddled with the channels until trailers for twenty-year-old New Releases! began to play, and collected a box of tissues before settling into her seat.

“You a crier?” Stan nudged her tissues with a knuckle and she gave him a dirty look.

“Insurance. Settle down.” Clary stacked pillows against the recliner’s back corner, propped her elbow on the arm near his and made herself at home. He’d seen this one a million times, an obscure classic in his opinion with some really good on-location seaside shooting for its era. Familiarity never seemed to make this one hit any less hard.

He found that it was hitting maybe a little harder than usual. The bookish harbormaster’s daughter and the rough-edged first mate she’d spent the last hour falling improbably in love with walked the shoreline under a spotlight moon, switching to closeup against a painted backdrop for their wrenching scene of farewell.

Stan stole a couple tissues while she wasn’t looking. Clary already had one clutched to her lips, tears welling up at the corners of her eyes in resolute silence. Maybe she was a bit of a crier after all, though she held it together pretty well through the last ten minutes or so.

Once the ship had departed and the harbormaster’s daughter had slipped down to the docks in the night, dressed in a man’s traveling clothes and bound for parts unknown, Clary blew her nose in an undignified honk. He would have teased her if he weren’t busy trying to do the same without her hearing him. At last she settled close to watch the brief credits. When the tape ran out and the screen went to static he grumbled and jabbed at the remote until the TV snapped off.

They rested together in the near-dark. Stan listened as the rhythm of her breathing steadied. “Good flick,” she murmured at length, in no apparent hurry to move.

“One of my favorites,” he admitted, equally quiet. “I did warn ya. If, ah, if it’d help, there’s a sequel...or I could maybe get Soos to write some kinda fix-it, he’s good at that fanfiction stuff….” He felt rather than saw the subtle shake of her head. “What, no?”

“It’d be cheating.”

“C’mon, now, there’s nothin’ wrong with chasin’ a happy ending - “

“They’re hard to catch.” He heard her swallow thickly and felt her shift to turn a little more into him. “Why the heck don’t you have a couch? I don’t want to move yet but this is uncomfortable as hell.” Stan considered bolting to leave her some privacy, then held his breath and wriggled his arm free to lay it lightly around her.

“This a little better?”

Clary drew up her legs and nestled into his side without hesitation. “Much.”

“So - we don’t have a couch because we didn’t need one until everyone was leavin’ at the end of last summer, anyway - “ He was cursing the lack of a couch right now, because the arm of the damned recliner was wedged between them and this would be a very nice post-movie snuggle without it. “I’m not sure Ford an’ I ever really thought we’d be back for more’n a quick visit. Soos hasn’t had time to update the place much.”

“You said you’d been running the Shack for thirty years. Alone?”

Stan hissed softly, dragging his free hand through his hair. “Yep,” he said just before the pause went beyond recovery. “More or less. Kids first visited last summer an’ that changed a whole lot.”

“From what I’ve gathered in town last summer was pretty lively.” He felt her smile against him. “Funny, no one really wants to talk about it.”

“It was, uh.” He groped for the right word and finally said, frustrated, “Weird.” Clary laughed softly. “Listen. I am not the one who should be givin’ pep talks, you get that? But I can promise that sometimes y’catch the happy ending.”

The house had gone quiet around them, the kids retreated to bed, Ford probably downstairs. Stan flinched in surprise as her cool hand covered his at her shoulder. “I’ll take your word for it,” Clary murmured. “And thanks. For today. Not everyone handles - “ She tugged at her silk scarf with a fingertip.

“We both got history, kid, I got no right t’pry.”

“I’ve been preemptively dumped over this, you know.”

“Hah! Just as well. You don’t strike me as the type t’date idiots.”

“No. I’m not.”

A minute or two drifted by like that, comfortable, the warmth of contact something he hadn’t slowed down to enjoy in an eternity. Stan had about found the perfect angle to pillow his cheek against her hair when she stirred. He rumbled in protest before he could stop himself, arm tightening for a second then relaxing as she sat up straight.

The wan wash of light from the hallway gilded the slope of her cheek; her shadowed eyes held a determined glint. “I’m in too good a mood to talk about ancient history, but I’d like to trade stories with you sometime.”

“Sure, but I don’t know when - “ She tilted her head in reproach and any further protest stalled in his throat.

“Stan. You made the fatal mistake of giving me your phone number.” Stan cracked a crooked grin and she went on, low-voiced and all velvet persuasion. “Let me know when you hit a port I can get to. Anywhere in the north Atlantic’s fine. If you end up someplace warm, like say Gibraltar or the Azores, so much the better. Drinks are on me.”

He almost barked out a laugh, a startled little huff like she’d just sucker-punched him. “You askin’ me out? Your treat?”

“Yes.” The practiced look of light amusement on her face faded by degrees into something more apprehensive. “If you’d like. I’d hate to never see you again.”

His brain locked up hard, spinning off into logistics and complications and the overwhelming desire to not fuck up the good thing he had going. Mercifully his mouth got out ahead, as usual. “Yeah. Definitely. I’d - really, really like that.”

She lit up in a split second of unguarded happiness for maybe the first time since they’d met. Clary leaned in too quickly to intercept, her lips grazing the stubble of his cheek as a fleeting whiff of her faded peony perfume curled into his nose. “Great. So would I.”

Stan’s hands twitched once with the sudden impulse to snag her by the waist and drag her into his lap before common sense shut that down. She couldn’t quite look him straight on as she withdrew and this time he laughed in earnest. “Oh, c’mon, counselor, y’can’t make a pitch like that an’ then go all shy on me.”

“Sure I can.” Clary’s fingers tightened in his, then slipped away as she rose. “I’d better go to bed before I say anything else incriminating. See you in the morning.”

“What, alone?”

“Stan.”

“It’s gonna be chilly, want me to drop off a couple extra blankets - “

“Stanley.”

“I got a sideline in personal furnace services - “

“Oh my god. Don’t make me regret saying anything.” The chuckle she was trying so hard to suppress laid a husky note under the words as she headed for the hallway.

“G’night, sweetpea.”

She slipped through the door with a last backward glance. He sat back to think it over, eyes closed, horrified and delighted all at once.

Mostly delighted, he decided, pressing fingers to his cheek where she’d kissed him.

tumblr: [00][01][02][03][04][05][06][07][08][09][10][11][12]

Ao3: [00][01][02][03][04][05][06][07][08][09][10][11][12]

“I’d hate to never see you again.” She looks anxious, jittery with anticipation and a little sad all at once.

Definitely.

Maybe.

I just can’t.

#Gravity Falls #gfdatingsim #DDtMMW #Swooning Over Stans #Stanley Pines #OClicious #fanfic

1 note · View note

sisterbestill · 6 years

Text

I write this on my iPhone, sitting next to my dad, who is currently getting his 4th Chemo Therapy Treatment of Carboplatin and Taxol. The drugs are chemical bombs and each week the accumulative damage grows. They pre-treat him with histamine blocking meds so he doesn’t have reactions, but he has reactions during the infusion, like he can’t breath. The nurses are well aware and calmly manage the reactions with more meds. These meds cause him to become very drowsy, so the remainder of the day becomes about keeping him from falling.

I still am trying to process all that has occurred since early August 2018. I look back on these pictures of our last outing at Lake Jocassee and never would have guessed how things would change just a week later. I’ve often wondered how cancer strikes people so quickly, now I know. I am writing this so I will never forget each minute that will forever live with me. I am also using this as a way to cope and understand something that is unfamiliar and terrifying.

My parents have always taken care of themselves and one another. They have been very lucky to have good health and I have been lucky to have them as energetic as they are in their eighties. When they moved up here from Florida, I was delighted I was going to finally be able to spend more time with them - like daily and weekly vs. just twice a year. They moved 15 minutes away or a lovely 60 min bike ride through rolling countryside and mountains. I was giddy and felt the universe shift a bit. I felt pulled to them. They are in fact two of the coolest, funniest, and open-minded people I know.

Shortly after this kayak trip (photos above) they decided to make a pact to live to 100 and created a “bucket list”. They were thankful for their health and never took it for granted. Perhaps the bucket list idea was a way to for them to celebrate how young they felt or perhaps they recognized they were chronologically getting up there.

Paddling on Jocassee was relaxing, calm, and beautiful; Certainly an experience they would have loved to have recreated again and I am hopeful they will. It may look different in the future, but I suspect the beauty and calmness of the lake will bath their brains in peace.

A week after snapping these pics, I got a call from my mom, she was on her way to the ER with my Dad. I was working one floor up and met them in the ER. While we waited, I learned my Dad had been feeling fatigued for several months and had developed shortness of breath over last few weeks. It wasn’t evident on the kayak trip that he was struggling, but it was obvious in the ER. My mom said they had been to their primary care several times and their primary care doc reassured him it was natural aging, as tests did not reveal anything to be concerned about.

As we sat for 6 hours in the waiting area, I was certain it was nothing serious. Afterall, my dad had no other health issues other than a little hypertension. His meds consisted of an 81 mg baby aspirin and amlodipine 2.5 mg each day - what a lucky guy. I was thinking maybe he had pleurisy or walking pneumonia.

We finally were shown to a room and labs were drawn. We were relieved to finally get things moving. By this time my sister, Lori, and I were getting silly from the fatigue of waiting. We were thoroughly entertained by a belligerent drunk guy on a stretcher in the halllway who seemed to draw all the attention of the medical staff while we well-behaved folks waited for answers.

I noticed my dad’s HR would easily jump to a sinus tach in the 130s with just a little bit of movement. Something didn’t seem right, but I was not going to speculate or think the worst. I was just his daughter, at his side, keeping the mood light.

We were informed by the physician assistant caring for us that his left diaphragm was elevated and was probably the cause of his shortness of breath. I was a little taken back as this was an unusual finding that left me with a knot in my stomach. Not too long after this finding he was whisked away for a CT of his chest.

He returned to the room and we waited for results. The PA came in with a sticky note and said she read off it: “You have a very large anterior mediastinal mass...No one here will operate because of your age...We are discharging you and you will need to see an oncologist.”

Our mouths dropped. My stomach bottomed-out as she said “mass” and my face flushed. We all just blankly looked at one another. Go home?

I spoke to a good nurse friend in recovery and she called the thoracic resident. I spoke to the PA who delivered the news and said, “We can’t go home. He is short of breath. He and my mom live alone. His Heart rate is bouncing up to 130s. He is weak. Please admit him and consult thoracic surgery.” My dad chimes in, “I’m not a throw away!” Meaning he doesn’t want to be dismissed because of his chronological age. He was far healthier than most half his age and this deserved a second look. The radiologist who read the report never actually saw my dad, but he did see a birthdate.

The next day, the interventional radiologist who read his CT and gave us the crappy news also did a needle biopsy of this baseball size mass.

We went home on a Wednesday after 2 days and waited. We were waiting for results and waiting for an appointment with a thoracic surgeon. Waiting is tough and if you are sick you will learn the meaning of patience.

We made it to Sunday when I thought something wasn’t right with my dad. He continued to have episodes of shortness of breath, but something was still off. I knew he had anxiety, but this was different. He said he felt fine and I almost left it at that. As a nurse you learn to listen to your 6th sense.

My parents live in a remote part of the county where everything is 30 min away. I left there house and an hour later returned with a pulse oximeter that I purchased from a CVS drug store. His oxygenation was 95% not bad for a guy now breathing 40 times a minute with 1.25 lung capacity. However, his pulse read 155 and I was baffled. No way?! I palpated his radial artery and it was a match. Off we went to the ER...

ER visit number II was faster as we went to a smaller satellite hospital 30 min from their home. The rhythm was too fast on the monitor to establish what it was so the ER MD attempted to chemically cardiovert him with adenosine. Adenosine is pushed quickly through an IV. It stops and restarts the heart. I can not lie, I was nervous. It’s so diffferent when this is your own family member. My mom tearfully excused herself and I stayed by his bedside. The ER doc informed my dad it would suck, and we proceeded. It sucked. He felt his heart stop and I watched his eyes bulge and panic come across his face for 3 of the longest seconds of my life. We were able to see he had an underlying atrial flutter. We were started on a verapamil drip and were transported to the main hospital for management by a cardiologist. His heart converted back to a normal rhythm on the verapamil drip before we left the ER in transport to Main hospital at 1 am. We were under the impression it was stress related to the new shitty diagnosis and having to wait on results.

The next day he had an echocardiogram to look at the structure and function of his heart. He was started on a Metoprolol a drug that blocks adrenaline and keeps heart rate lower and it was doing its’ job.

He spent 2 nights in hospital and outside of naps, lacked solid hours of good sleep. We finally got word that his ECHO results were good. No one said a word about metastatic disease to his pericardium. We were told he had a small ring of fluid within the pericardial sack, but it wasn’t a lot and certainly not something they felt needed draining. The atrial flutter responded well to the metoprolol and we were discharged home to once again wait for our thoracic surgery appointment.

We finally made it to the thoracic surgeon to learn of what was growing in my dad’s mediastinum. I was hoping for a thymoma, but instead we drew the really short stick with a highly aggressive, highly invasive cancer called: Squamos Cell Thymic Carcinoma.

WTF? Come on! Can we not catch a break here?

I had never heard of this type of cancer and neither have many in the medical field cause in addition to being aggressive and invasive, it is also a rare tumor. A rare tumor that hasn’t impacted enough lives that researchers devote a lot of time, money and effort into understanding it. Not only that, but sadly, most people die before any data can be collected. Once you get short of breath, dry cough and fatigue it is usually advanced.

PET Scan had some questionable lymph nodes light up, but no other disease was noted distal to the mediastinal cavity.

We hoped it could be removed. Excising the tumor was first choice in the management of this cancer and had the best outcomes, but to do this the surgeon would need to get clean margins. The thoracic surgeon wanted a cardiac MRI to examine if this tumor had invaded any of his great vessels. CT scans had only shown that the tumor was abutting the ascending aorta, but we needed to be certain cause the surgery involved opening his sternum with a saw and recovery would be 5-6 weeks. The surgeon emphasized that he didn’t want to operate and create trauma without being able to get the entire tumor. He didn’t want to delay care in a time-is-of-the-essence scenario.

It was 6pm on a Monday evening just days out from last hospitalization, when I returned to their house to check on him. Earlier that morning, my mom and I took his mini Pomeranian back to the vet and learned it was dying. The vet apologized and said it was time. We put my dad’s 18 y/o Pom, Ben, to sleep at 10:30. My mom held him and he passed. We were a mess. We told my dad and his response seemed flat. Distant.Something else was on his mind.

I stayed close and felt something was amiss, something was unfolding, progressing. I was thinking is he getting an infection? His temp was 100.2, slightly more SOB, and his pulse was 95-110 at rest, on a beta blocker. Nowhere near his norm and I could not ignore this or excuse it. My dad is precious to me. I looked at my mom and dad, apologized as I informed them we needed to go back to the ER. They were agreeable. I think he was relieved I recognized something was wrong.

Shortly after arrival at the satellite ER labs were drawn and ultrasound of his heart was done by ER doc. He said there appeared to be a large fluid collection around my dad’s heart. We were again admitted to ICU for a condition called Cardiac Tamponade. Early the next morning he had the fluid drained 600 ml from around his heart. The fluid build up which is inside the pericardial sac squeezes the heart. The heart can be stunned and go into failure. The fluid that was drawn off was sent for cytology. It was suspicious. It was likely metastatic disease.

In fact after annoying the cardiologist with repeated questions in the hallway, he motioned me over to his computer screen. He showed me the ECHO and pointed out the thickening of the pericardium and showed me a mass dangling from his ventricle. I didn’t need to wait for cytology. This was confirmation for me that we were very far into a disease process. My face flushed, my heart sank, and my stomach dropped as I comprehended the situation. I thanked the MD and my mom asked what he was showing me. I told her. I saw the color leave her face.

The thoracic surgeon was still hoping to remove the mass as the CT didn’t show it had invaded the great vessels, but he did want a Cardiac MRI which was on the back burner. We were still in ICU cause the Cardiac Tamponade and procedure to drain the fluid triggered a lot of Atrial Flutter and Atrial Fibrillation. We waited for the Cardiac MRI for 3 days. There is only one machine and his was repeated twice before they got quality images. The thoracic surgeon finally met with us and after consulting his partners, radiologist, and oncologist, it was decided surgery was just too risky and he wasn’t certain he could get clear margins. He stressed how he didn’t want to create more problems or delay my dad in getting treatment if there were complications. We very much appreciated the thoughtfulness of his answer. We really didn’t have a minute to spare. The surgeon decided to cut a window in my dad’s heart so the cancer did not build up more fluid and compress this vital organ again. The cancer cells would drain into his belly instead of filling the pericardial sack.

We were discharged home in a questionable state: weak. At first we were told he would stay until he was walking well, but the hospital was full and we were off-loaded unexpectedly. Home is a place with stairs. Stairs to to get in and stairs to get out and the most movement he had done in a week was walking 25 ft with a walker and that was exhausting for him. I was concerned about falls. How were me and my mom going to get 170 lb man up 5 steps safely? He was too weak. He hadn’t eaten, he had not slept in 10 days. We were behind the eight ball and chemo had not even started.

Chemo is rough. To survive chemo, one needs some level of fitness, meaning able to perform ADLs independently and move often. We were overwhelmed. The next week was labor intensive and emotionally draining. Here we were home and we were struggling. He still wasn’t eating, still not sleeping, and my radar was on constant alert. I spent my days observing and looking for subtle changes. Oh and there were changes that needed immediate attention as he flipped in and out of rapid atrial fibrillation and got urinary tract infection.

I was scared and my dad was terrified. In times when we were alone, he would ask me: “How did this happen?” He would shake his head as if disappointed in his body. Disbelief. He was unable to comprehend it and he too was terrified.

To be continued...

#thymiccancer #cancer #chemo #raretumor #cancersucks #thymiccarcinoma #thisislife

1 note · View note

princessjinx · 8 years

Text

What happened

Since at least November, I have been sick. I had a cold go away but the cough stuck around. I had random extreme pains appear... in my shoulder blade, in my breast, in my rib cage. I went on (that free!) vacation in December and I was having serious pain. I would even go to bed early because at least if I was asleep, it didn’t hurt. In January my doctor still couldn’t see me so I was prescribed a Z pack over the phone. Still sick. Went to the urgent care and got steroids. Still sick. Back to the urgent care, and my first x-ray and diagnosis: It’s pneumonia. I was annoyed it took so long but relieved. They gave me some antibiotics that were specifically for pneumonia and I was excited to get better and get back to studying for the bar exam. I had fallen about a week behind due to sickness, and another week was lost for what I thought was the worst of the pneumonia. But after I ran through the antibiotics, it seemed to come back worse. I didn’t even want to go to the doctor, as I was six days away from the bar and I had been working my ass off. I was doing three days of work for every day in the course. But I also thought what if it gets worse before the bar... so I went

This time they gave me a second x-ray, about two weeks from the first, and the doctor said that it looked worse. He told me I needed to go the the ER right now and they would likely give me some intravenous antibiotics. So off in an uber, in the hail, to the closest hospital.

Matt met me at the ER (thank goodness). The ER just sucks. Thats all - it feels like a damn meat freezer in there. I was there for a few hours and I think I collected like ten blankets.

At some point they gave me a CT scan. The contrast injection stung and made me feel like I peed myself. Apparently that’s pretty common.

Then I had to wait and wait and waiting in the ER seems like eternity.... finally the doc comes in and closes the door and shuts the curtain and I’m telling myself it might not be that bad... maybe they do that for everyone, for privacy... So he says that he has tough news and that there is a mass in my lung which is about 10 by 9 centimeters and that its too early to tell but it could be this or that (a blod clot? a house md-style mysterious substance my body is protecting me from?) but that it is likely hodgkin lymphoma and do i know what that is yes I do and I’m trying not to cry

and they have some more stuff to do but they will assign a team to me and take me upstairs and keep me overnight and I’m feeling very glad Matt met me at the emergency room and I want to look at him but I don’t want to look at him because I’m going to cry and be such a fucking whiner So the doctor leaves and I realize I’m not breathing right and I am trying to breathe correctly and remind myself I have not had a panic attack in years and there’s no reason to add a medical problem but then for some reason I’m throwing up even though I haven't eaten and weirdly I’m thinking about the bile that Drew Barrymore was trying to collect (we watched Santa Clarita Diet last week) and also how there’s tons of phlegm and blood specs in my bile and how did I not just know that this was so much more serious a long time ago? ... anyway the rest of the story is hours and hours stretching out spending the next two nights waiting and talking to nurses and doctors and residents and nurse assistants and ending with a morning lung biopsy where they take a chunk of whatever - IT - is out so they can look at it (but not tell you anything about it for five to seven business days) and me trying to sleep and watching lots of food network and trying to wait to break the news to my family so they let me go home for Saturday and Sunday and on Monday I went in for the Bone Marrow aspiration and biopsy The nurses in the CT biopsy room really are the greatest. They were even nicer the second time around. One nurse when I entered on Monday asked if I was “told to bring that” to my blanket... Like no no one told me but its freezing here and honestly can’t I just be Linus today?? But the nurses in the biopsy room love my ridiculous furry blanket and one even held my hand while the doctor was knocking around my bones. The best part of all of that is that the anesthesia makes me sleepy so I get some of the best rest i can, even with nurses coming in and out, after the biopsies. They sent me home and then it was just a waiting game. I scheduled my appointments, but before the first one, my oncologist called to give me the news: It’s Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

#the cancer #nhl #nonhodgkinslymphoma #Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma #lymphoma #cancer

4 notes · View notes

dinafbrownil · 4 years

Text

Society Is Reopening. Prepare To Hunker Down At Home Again.

Even before the May 25 killing of George Floyd in police custody drew large crowds of protesters into the streets of U.S. cities, people were beginning to throng beaches, bars and restaurants. Whether for economic, social or political reasons, our home confinement seems to be ending.

Or is it?

Public health officials warn that a hasty reopening will generate a second wave of COVID-19 infections. That could delay a return to economic and social normalcy ― or even force us back under house arrest ― as long as there’s no reliable therapy or vaccine.

So while it may seem counterintuitive as people finally come out of the woodwork, now is an opportune moment to talk about doubling down on preparations for the duration of the pandemic. Indeed, the conversation is as important as ever, since social distancing has begun to fade, heightening the risk of spreading infection.

“It’s good to be prepared,” says Dr. Alex Chen, chief medical officer of Health Net of California, which insures over 3 million of the state’s residents.

Nobody can be 100% safe from the coronavirus, and the extent of your preparations will depend on your anxiety level, personality and resources.

Everyone should at least follow the standard advice, which in my home ― and, I suspect, in many others — demands frequent reiteration: Wash your hands often for at least 20 seconds. Wipe down commonly used surfaces in the house with disinfectants, especially as people come and go. The Environmental Protection Agency (www.epa.gov) publishes a list of agents that neutralize the COVID-19 virus.

And be sure to have a face mask or other facial covering to wear when you go out.

Don't Miss A Story

Subscribe to KHN’s free Weekly Edition newsletter, delivered every Friday.

Please confirm your email address below:

If you want to avoid frequent trips outside the house, stock up on food and prepare a kit containing painkillers, fever reducers, allergy and cold medications and a thermometer (if you can find one). Oh, and stop worrying about toilet paper; it has reappeared on many store shelves.

Sangeeta Ahluwalia, a senior health policy researcher at the Santa Monica-based think tank Rand Corp. and a mother of two young girls, keeps an ample supply of food, prescription drugs and over-the-counter medicines on hand, so she can be “as homebound as possible.”

She and her husband have packed bags in case one of them needs to go to the hospital, and she has programmed directions into the GPS systems of their cars.

“I definitely realize I’m not the average person when it comes to this,” Ahluwalia says.

Be Digitally Prepared

As we’ve learned from the first round of the epidemic, digital capability is also essential. The need for reliable Wi-Fi and videoconferencing technology is a no-brainer if you work remotely. It’s important for other reasons, too.

“Everybody should know how to use Zoom or some other video app, so they can talk to their friends. Loneliness makes any of us feel anxious or sad,” says Dr. Bob Kocher, a senior fellow at the Leonard D. Schaeffer Center for Health Policy and Economics at USC and a partner focusing on health care information technology at Venrock, a venture capital firm in Palo Alto, California.

Such technology also comes in handy for conversations with your doctor. (If you don’t have a regular doctor, try to find one.) During the pandemic, many physicians and hospitals are strongly encouraging, and in some cases insisting on, virtual rather than face-to-face visits — at least until they diagnose a problem requiring direct physical treatment.

Most insurers are waiving their enrollees’ out-of-pocket costs for such telehealth visits if they are related to diagnosing COVID-19, and many health plans are waiving cost sharing for all telehealth visits — though some patients are still getting billed for them.

Call your health plan and ask about its policy on paying for telehealth. Many health plans contract with a telehealth company such as Teladoc, Doctor on Demand or MD Live. Keep the contact number or app handy.

With enough information, a doctor can use a digital consultation to prescribe medications, suggest ways to resolve your symptoms without an in-person appointment or determine if you need to come in.

If you are having a virtual visit rather than going to the doctor’s office, your physician might appreciate readings from one of the wearable or other internet-connected devices that track vital signs such as heart rate, blood pressure and blood sugar.

“People know if they are starting to feel bad. The benefit of the wearable technology is you have real data you can describe to your doctor,” says Steve Koenig, vice president of market research for the Consumer Technology Association in Arlington, Virginia.

But buyer (and doctor) beware: Accuracy varies among the different technologies. You can research them at multiple websites, including Tom’s Guide (www.tomsguide.com), Consumer Reports (www.consumerreports.org) and The Wirecutter (www.wirecutter.com).

Many physicians recommend that people at high risk of getting seriously ill from COVID-19 purchase a pulse oximeter, if they can afford it. Pulse oximeters are small electronic devices that typically clip onto a finger to measure your blood oxygen and your heart rate. They have been in high demand and short supply since the discovery that oxygen levels in some COVID-19 patients drop to dangerously low levels before they begin to feel ill.

The cost of these gadgets ranges from under $50 to over $1,000, but as with the apps and wearables, their accuracy may vary widely.

You can read reviews of pulse oximeters and order one online, but it will likely take more than a month to arrive.

“I think it’s better to order it and wait until it comes, because we are going to be in this for the long haul,” says Dr. David Eisenman, a professor at UCLA’s David Geffen School of Medicine and the Fielding School of Public Health.

Another technological tool you might consider is one of the so-called contact tracing apps, with names such as Care19, CovidSafe, Covid Watch and NOVID. Downloaded to smartphones, they record your movements over several days and alert you if you’ve been in proximity to someone who is infected with or has been exposed to the virus — but only if that person also has downloaded the app and reports honestly.

As more people use such apps and share their information, the tools will become more effective, public health experts say. But so far, they have been poorly received in the United States — due in large part to privacy concerns. Google and Apple, which launched an app last month, cited privacy in their decision to withhold key data from public health officials who are trying to track the disease.

Still, some health professionals say the mere existence of these apps is a good start.

“Even a small number of people doing this will be helpful,” says Kocher. “It will help contact tracers from the county or elsewhere if people they contact have downloaded one of these apps.”

This KHN story first published on California Healthline, a service of the California Health Care Foundation.

from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/coronavirus-second-wave-as-society-reopens-how-to-prepare-to-hunker-down-at-home-again/

0 notes

stephenmccull · 4 years

Text

Society Is Reopening. Prepare To Hunker Down At Home Again.

Or is it?

“It’s good to be prepared,” says Dr. Alex Chen, chief medical officer of Health Net of California, which insures over 3 million of the state’s residents.

Nobody can be 100% safe from the coronavirus, and the extent of your preparations will depend on your anxiety level, personality and resources.

And be sure to have a face mask or other facial covering to wear when you go out.

Don't Miss A Story

Subscribe to KHN’s free Weekly Edition newsletter, delivered every Friday.

Please confirm your email address below:

She and her husband have packed bags in case one of them needs to go to the hospital, and she has programmed directions into the GPS systems of their cars.

“I definitely realize I’m not the average person when it comes to this,” Ahluwalia says.

Be Digitally Prepared

With enough information, a doctor can use a digital consultation to prescribe medications, suggest ways to resolve your symptoms without an in-person appointment or determine if you need to come in.

The cost of these gadgets ranges from under $50 to over $1,000, but as with the apps and wearables, their accuracy may vary widely.

You can read reviews of pulse oximeters and order one online, but it will likely take more than a month to arrive.

Still, some health professionals say the mere existence of these apps is a good start.

“Even a small number of people doing this will be helpful,” says Kocher. “It will help contact tracers from the county or elsewhere if people they contact have downloaded one of these apps.”

This KHN story first published on California Healthline, a service of the California Health Care Foundation.

Society Is Reopening. Prepare To Hunker Down At Home Again. published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/

0 notes

nuclearblastuk · 5 years

Text

AS I LAY DYING | Band discuss album artwork in new trailer

AS I LAY DYING | BAND DISCUSS ALBUM ARTWORK IN NEW TRAILER

San Diego quintet AS I LAY DYING rise together on their seventh full-length and debut for Nuclear Blast, the aptly titled Shaped By Fire will be released on September 20th. Today, the band has released a fifth album trailer in which they discuss why they chose Corey Meyers to create the artwork. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/rirSbqjUcHc Pre-order your copy of Shaped By Fire in the format of your choice here: http://nblast.de/AILDShapedByFire Pre-save the album on Spotify, Apple Music, and Deezer: http://nblast.de/AsILayDyingPreSave Shaped By Fire was produced by the band and was mixed by Joseph McQueen at Sparrow Sound in Los Angeles, CA while mastering was completed by Ted Jensen at Sterling Sound in Nashville, TN. The only exception was for the track 'My Own Grave' which was produced by AS I LAY DYING, co-produced by Drew Fulk and mixed by Adam 'Nolly' Getgood. The artwork was created by Corey Meyers. Shaped By Fire will be available in the following formats: