#dudes who eat hits in mosh pits

[khaosrealms]

Meeting Havik in the midst of a mosh-pit is like meeting a human pin cushion. He’s the sponge for crowd killers— always leaving with a bloody nose and dislocated shoulders. He’s at every show you’ve been to, every set you make a detour to, and he’s always in the mosh pit. Almost enticing you to enter as you stand at the edge. Dropping to the ground by your feet and being dragged up laughing, bleeding, coughing. He’s there, standing across from you as bodies meet bodies and when you step forward, drawn into the music, bashing your skull against the air— Havik is there, waiting for you to begin swinging. Slamming his shoulders into your’s, clutching onto the back of your shirt as you head bang, throwing you into the air and back onto your feet as you fall. Covered in his blood and your sweat. Bellowing with laughter as the drums crash to an end. Your ears ringing as your senses return. “I want to see you again.” He says, clutching onto your forearms, so much taller, barely breathing but so certain. “I want you beat me till I bleed.”

[derivativealigner]

Well, I’m done rewatching season 2 of south park and I’ve taken plenty of notes and screenshots to document all the facts and tidbits I thought were interesting or just funny. Under the cut is a collection of notes where I progressively start caring more and more about fake children

Kenny’s house is full of empty bottles, his family eats frozen waffles for dinner, and his dad is drinking at the dinner table

Kenny’s and Kyle’s dads have some history. They were best friends as teenagers

Kenny’s dad is kind of anti-Semitic, he says Kyle’s dad was successful because he’s Jewish

Cartman kind of expresses agreement with Stuart’s anti-Semitism, which I think is the first time Cartman’s been clearly anti-Semitic

Kenny’s house has rats, but his room has lights that shut off when you clap twice

WOW KYLE wtf he says “Kenny's not really my friend, Ma. I don't give a rat's ass about him.” FUCKING RUDE

Kyle and Kenny have a fun little sleepover where they play “ookie mouth”, a game where they take turn spitting in each other’s mouths. This episode (S02E10 Chickenpox) is great for fans of K2 despite how absolutely disgusting ookie mouth is

The McCormick house was something Stuart and Gerald built as teenagers. A fort in Stuart’s mom’s backyard

Gerald went to community college

Gerald and Stuart have a fun fist fight by a pond

Kyle makes a haiku: Fatass Cartman was / not on the school bus today. / What a big, fat turd.

Kenny makes a haiku: When you rub your dick, / you might find a discharge that / winds up on the floor.

Kyle makes another: Ass full of pork fat / jiggles like a Jello mold. / Mouth is flapping, too.

And another by Kyle: I bet you don't win. / They don't let big fat asses / perform on TV.

Cartman responds: Shut your God-damned mouth / or else I'm... gonna... kick you / square in the balls... asshole

I spy with my desperate eye the beginnings of Craig’s gang, featuring Kenny with wonky eyes

Bebe thinks Kyle has a hot ass and she’s not shy about saying it

Bebe writes a note to Kyle, and Stan tries to pass it on but Mr. Garrison thinks it’s Stan’s note for Kyle and makes him read it out loud. So he reads: “Dear Kyle. You have got such a great ass. I could sleep for days on those perked cheeks, let me tell you. I'd like to live with you and wear your ass as a hat for all eternity.” (If that happened to me I’d be embarrassed forever)

POV: You’re Stan and you just said you love Kyle’s juicy ass in front of the whole 3rd grade class

The first time Stan’s mom and dad get a divorce is in S02E12, way sooner than I remembered

Bebe kisses Kyle when they’re playing truth or dare in their clubhouse, probably Kyle’s first kiss. Kyle thinks it’s disgusting (despite having played ookie mouth with Kenny which is arguably more disgusting)

Bebe breaks up with Kyle and goes off with Clyde, who says “Bitchin’ 😎”. Later Clyde is with Bebe, Stan, and Wendy at the club house

Cartman and Kyle have a fist fight once again. Kyle hated Cartman way more than Stan did very early on, kind of all along really, they truly were destined to be arch enemies

Kenny has food stamps

Oh, and Cartman’s made poor jokes about Kenny and twice (I think) Kenny has punched him in retaliation in the past 2 seasons. Kenny’s family is probably a bad and violent example for him

By the way, if you’ve ever wondered what Kenny says in the theme song but never looked it up, in seasons 1-2 he sings “I like girls with big fat titties, I like girls with deep vaginas” but in the remastered versions of seasons 1-2 (which is the version I’m watching) they changed it to the season 3-5 lyrics: “I have got a ten-inch penis, use you mouth if you wanna clean it”.

When an evil twin version of Cartman says nice things, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny stare at him in horror. Stan says, “Dude, this is creepy.”

Also, the boys say dude a lot. At least Stan, Kyle, and Kenny do, Cartman not as much

Kenny’s mom hits him when he’s hogging the blanket from his brother. Kenny makes a sad face and it made me feel bad :(

When evil twin Cartman comes to give the McCormicks some supplies, Kenny’s dad asks if that was his “fat, racist, foul-mouthed friend” so Cartman clearly has a reputation

When Stan gets scared of his evil fish, he wakes Shelly up and she slaps him. Their mom sees it and says nothing

But on the other hand his mom buries a body that Stan’s fish killed because she thinks he killed it so I guess she’s not entirely a bad mom

Kenny was supposed to buy a pumpkin for Halloween but he could only afford a squash and his friends are really mean about it. The more I watch the more I feel bad for Kenny (and Stan)

Cartman kind of has a shitty friendship with Kenny. He says “I hate you Kenny” because of the squash

Kyle is really annoyed by Cartman saying “hella” all the time, nobody else is as annoyed

Evil Cartman sings a cute little song while wielding a knife: You guys / are my best friends, / through thick and thin, / we've always been together! / We're four of a kind, / having fun all day, / palling around and laughing away. / Just best friends, / best friends are we!

Stan still has his dog, Sparky, in season 2

After Stan’s fish kills Kenny, Kenny’s mom comes over to ask about her son and she’s drunk and upset. Honestly seeing Kenny die all the time makes me kind of sad

Stan says Kenny’s squash isn’t a bad little squash. Very heartwarming. The squash gets first prize at the pumpkin carving contest :)

Cartman’s grandma and extended family live in Nebraska

When the boys go to Cartman’s family to have Christmas dinner, Kenny’s dad tells him to take any leftovers and bring them back home (he does it very gently and Kenny just says “okay” and why do I care that this fake child dies all the time and barely has food at home, like why the fuck do I care so much???)

Cartman’s mom is wearing glasses when she drives. She doesn’t do it in the later seasons but maybe she has contacts

Cartman and his mom sing a road trip song for 4 hours. Kyle says “please stop” but when they ignore him, he kicks Cartman’s seat and makes Cartman hit his head

Stan has a complicated relationship with his family, he says they’re dead to him because they didn’t want him to go on a road trip to Nebraska so Stan went without telling them

Kenny doesn’t eat at the dinner table with Cartman’s family, he just shoves the food in a bag :( I feel so bad for him

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny all hit Cartman after they wake in the night to make sure they’re not dreaming

Under his coat, Cartman wears a pink tank top that says BEEFCAKE. He wore it in S1E02 Weight Gain 2000

Charles Manson invites Kenny to go to a more secluded location and Kenny just says okay and goes, but honestly he should know better since he’s aware that he keeps dying

Cartman bonks his cousin Elvin on the head and gives him brain damage. Elvin gets better though

THE NEXT EPISODE IS GNOMES!!! TWEEEEEK!!!!

Token gets named when he’s put in a group with Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, and Pip. Craig’s gang is getting closer to becoming a thing!!

IT’S OUR FUCKING BOY TWEEK TWEAK BITCH YEEEEAAAH

Tweek says he’s awake at 3:30am because he can’t sleep, ever

Jesus, Tweek’s dad kind of sucks immediately. He says he might have to sell Tweek to slavery if his coffee shop goes out of business

Cartman says Kenny’s family is happy being poor and on welfare, “right, Kenny?” and Kenny says “fuck you” which is completely justified

When the underpants gnomes don’t appear, Tweek is worried he’s going insane and pulls on his hair

His parents say Tweek is jittery and anxious just because he has ADD (but the kind of severe jitteriness and anxiety Tweek has isn’t a symptom of primarily inattentive ADHD, even though people with ADHD do experience restlessness and can even have some tics and are more likely to have anxiety as a comorbid disorder than a neurotypical person is, but I mean come on, we all know Tweek’s slurping way too much coffee so even if he has ADHD beneath all that, his parents should stop giving him coffee and they definitely should not start lacing it with meth. Basically what I’m saying is that Tweek’s parents are full of shit)

Actually Tweek’s mom is kind of okay. She tells Tweek’s dad that he’s being shitty for using kids to advance his agenda. But… the agenda is against big corporations and I hate to say it but Tweek’s dad kind of has a point

Ew, the boys are giving a pro big corporations speech. That aged really poorly considering how shitty billionaires are

Aww, look at Kenny! He got scared of a crocodile that Steve Irwin is about to bother by jamming his thumb up its butthole

The boys are really excited about Steve Irwin jamming his thumb up a crocodile’s butthole

Oh my God, Kyle calls Cartman a fatass penis

Kenny is a mediator between Stan and Kyle. They ask him which one found this ice man in a cave first, but Kenny just deflects and agrees with Kyle’s name suggestion (Steve) for the ice man

I kind of like Dr. Mephesto. I’m glad he came back for Fractured But Whole

Stan and Kyle are having a terrible fight about who found the ice man. Kyle says they’re not best friends anymore and that Cartman is his new best friend and Cartman says “Sweet!”, then Stan claims Cartman as his new best friend and Cartman says “Killer!”

This prehistoric ice man episode is actually funny, I love it

Stan and Kyle are having a fight to the death

They reconcile and become best friends again. They both agree that Cartman’s a sucky best friend

Well, that was the last episode of the season. This was fun. South Park is actually a fun show

Kenny deaths:

S02E10 Kenny is in the hospital because of chicken pox. He laughs at Cartman’s joke so hard that his heart flatlines like beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

S02E11 Kenny’s head explodes after Stan and Kyle make him watch planetarium lights at a high intensity

S02E12 Kenny gets trampled in a mosh pit

S02E13 A cow impales Kenny’s head with its horn

S02E14 Ozzy Osbourne bites Kenny’s head off

S02E15 Kenny is killed by Stan’s evil fish, he gets spun in the fish tank until the water’s red

S02E16 The police shoot Kenny who came outside with a white flag during a hostage situation, then the police hit his dead body with a baton and handcuff him

S02E17 Kenny gets crushed by the underpants gnomes’ mine cart. The gnomes are horrified but Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Tweek are kinda like whatever

S02E18 Kenny gets squished underneath a conveyer belt

Onto the next season I go. I’ll watch the movie too since it was released around halfway through season 3

[copias-thrall]

The Stars Are Fire

One more romp before NYE

⬅️ Previous

New Year’s Eve Eve, and Mary is back at your place. You kind of feel like you need to eat bags of carrots, but he’s pumped, gesticulating wildly as he explains what an honor it is that the main band contacted him and asked him to attend their first debut after being signed.

“I get a plus one, Suey. Please.”

And even though all you’d like to do is lie on the couch and drink water—oh, would carrot juice be the best answer to both your problems?—you agree to beautify yourself and accompany him to this pre-party of sorts at one of the bigger local venues.

The music is loud, and the guitars are screeching. Lights are flashing, and the room is moist with sweat.

Mary is jumping around in the mosh pit, and every now and then you can see his head emerge. You’re on the outer limit, holding the too-soft plastic cup full of piss beer you guys are sharing—you gave up your moshing days after some dude punched you in the ear, which ripped out your tragus; your piecer had said he’s redo it for free … but one look at your ear and he advised against it because of the scar tissue.

The crowd is being particularly frantic to the current song, so you’re surprised when Mary emerges from the hive—he usually loves a good mosh. His neck and bare arms are glistening with sweat, and his t-shirt is sticking to him; his paint runs in streaks down his face, and his forelock is matted to his forehead.

His grin is feral as he yanks the cup from you and begins to chug. The sides dimple, and some of the liquid sloshes down his neck to join the other moisture there. He throws the now-empty cup in the direction of a trash can, and it disappears amongst the bodies.

“Thanks for sharing, asshole,” you quip.

“Oh. My bad—did you want some?” Mary shakes himself like a dog, and the sweat and beer fly off him, splattering you.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, MARE!” you screech as you try to distance him with a hand to his chest. His grin only widens as he easily buckles your arm at the elbow, and then he’s on you, smearing his hair and face all over you.

You’re laughing as you grip his hair to tug his head away from you, but he just starts growling and nipping at your neck.

“I’m the Mary monster … and I’ve come to eat you!” he rumbles in your ear right before you feel his arms go round your waist—and then you’re being spun in circles. You yelp and wrap your arms around his neck, the two of you bumping into other people who cheer and goodnaturedly bump you back.

He finally sets you down with an Oof, wincing exaggeratedly as he presses his hand to his back.

You slap his shoulder, the smack landing wetly. “Well, that’s your own fucking fault.”

“Yeah, I know. Worth it, though,” he says grinning before he’s leaning down to kiss you. He tastes like beer and sweat and bitter makeup—but that’s just Mary.

You’re just about to deepen the kiss, when he breaks away with a whoop, shouting,

“Fuck, I love this part!”

He grabs your hand, and you jump along with him and the rest of the audience as the myriad disparate voices join together to form the bridge of the song.

“You can go back in the pit, Mare Bear,” you say into his ear as soon as he stops flailing around like a bunch of wet noodles stuck together.

But he just turns and pulls you into his sweat-damp body. His hands slide down your body—shoving your skirt out of the way—to grab handfuls of your leggings-covered ass.

“Mmm, I’d rather bump and grind with you.”

To punctuate his statement, he rubs his crotch into you. You grab him by the belt loops to pull him further into you.

“Uh oh—is it that time again? Do I need to milk my boyfriend before he explodes?”

Mary backs you into the rough, concrete wall, his body a firm line against you as his lips brush yours.

“Are you offering?”

You run your hands up under his shirt, fingers sliding through his sweat.

“How can I resist this?”

He nips at your ear.

“Stay here,” he says as he scampers off.

You lose him as he delves further into the crowd, but you busy yourself with yanking your skirt back down and tugging at your fishnet top until the seams line up correctly (you’re wearing it over a black, patent-leather bra, and Mary nearly derailed the whole evening when he first saw you in it).

He finally reappears, his face open but determined. You don’t have time to question him before he’s grabbing your hand with a firm C’mon and yanking toward the back hall with the bathrooms. You think that that’s where he’s taking you, but he doesn’t even pause when you pass by the lines.

Mary takes you practically to the back door—which has been inconspicuously propped open with a small stone so the smokers can come and go as they please—and hisses at you to keep watch.

Before you can ask for what, he has a set of keys out. He fumbles with the lock of a door you have overlooked initially.

“Mare …” you begin, but are cut off when the door clicks open and he yells Ah-ha! before yanking you into the room.

He quickly slams the door behind you, which leaves you in darkness.

“Uh, there should be …”

You hear him fumbling around for something, so you fish your phone out of your bra and turn on the flashlight app.

“Ah! Good call.” He goes for the table lamp your tiny light has illuminated.

“It’s why you keep me around.”

“And the blow jobs.” He clicks it on with the pull chain.

“And the blow jobs,” you echo.

With the light now on, you see that you’re in a closet of an office—a small desk, a wooden office chair, a file cabinet, and a lost & found box. When you turn back to face Mary, he’s beaming at you. He twirls the key ring around his finger as he advances on you.

“I know a guy.” He reaches out a hand to thumb at your cheekbone. “Only the best fuck locations for my baby doll.”

You smack his hand away, but you’re grinning.

“Kiss me,” you say, and then Mary’s lips are on yours, your tongues tangling as you grip his ass and he runs his hands all over you; one finally settles in between your legs to press in pulses at your clit. He works you up so good that you hadn’t noticed you were rocking him into you by the meat of his butt.

He pulls away from you, eyes dark and predatory; he brings the hand that had been touching you up to his nose to smell and then down to his mouth to taste.

“Fuck. I want you.”

“Get on the chair,” you say. Mary blinks at you, but then hurries to obey. “Take your dick out,” you order as you fumble to divest yourself of your leggings. You’re not wearing underwear, and a sticky line of your slick clings to the crotch before landing against your thigh. Mary’s eyes track it, and he lets out another Fuck as he gives his hard cock a loose stroke.

When you’re good, he holds his cock out in invitation, and you clamber onto the chair. There’s a horrifying moment with the whole thing tips back—you tumbling into Mary with a small cry as his arms fly out to grab anything—before the two of you realize the chair is built to do that. You both let out a relieved laugh, and Mary bitches at you to stop squashing his dick.

He once again steadies it at the base, and you ease the tip inside you. It goes in easy, but you still slide down slowly, reveling in the stretch. Mary moans and grips the armrests. Using his shoulders for leverage, you slide up and down his cock—slowly at first, just to get your bearings. Mary’s hands fly down to grip at your hips; his eyes are already glazed, and his bottom lip is white from how hard he’s biting it.

After a few recalibrations, you start to bounce on his cock in earnest. Every time you slam down into his lap, you try to angle it so his cockhead punches into your G-spot before mashing your clit into his curls. You’re definitely using him, only bouncing and mashing insofar to chase your orgasm.

Mary just lets you—his hands only slightly trying to move you up and down, and his hips only giving shallow thrusts up into you—his tongue practically lolling out of his mouth watching you take your pleasure from him.

He babbles at you. “Yeah, fuck. C’mon, baby. Ride my cock. That’s right—use me. Use my cock. Fuck—look at you all flushed. Cum on me. Can you cum on me?”

One of your hands flies down to play with your clit, but Mary bats it away.

“Keep fucking riding me,” he says before he licks a thumb and then presses at your nub.

You were worked up before you even sat on his dick, and it’s been a simmer ever since. When the pad of his thumb makes contact with your clit, it’s like it unlocks a dam of pleasure. You stutter to a stop to moan and clench around him.

“Fuck, Suey. Don’t stop,” whines Mary.

The need to cum now is imperative, and you start frantically bouncing in his lap—arms wound round his neck—while he lets the motion of your body help to swipe your throbbing clit.

You know how he gets about you crying out his name, so you’re chanting MaryMaryMary as you pant against his cheek. The wood of the chair is hard on your knees, but you keep riding him until you’re oh so close. Your mouth drops open as you feel your impending orgasm—and you’re pretty sure you drool all over him—and you gasp out Uh uh uh uh as you feel yourself hover. That’s when Mary’s thumb goes to town, and you lock up.

You’ve hardly gotten “Oh fuck” out of your mouth, when Mary’s suctions on to yours. Your orgasm is crashing over you in waves—you clenching in pulses around his hard cock—and you’re riding him in languid rocks while you grunt into his mouth. At some point you broke his kiss and your head lolled back, your movements ceasing as Mary started to thrust up into you as you rode the aftershocks.

As you feel the calm wash over you, you’re prepared for Mary to plant his feet and fuck up into you. But instead he stands up—forcing you to yelp as you hastily wrap your legs around him. There’s a bit of fumbling, but eventually your back hits the small square of carpet before Mary starts wailing into you.

His lips smear down your cheek and neck and shoulder as he babbles at you. “You fucking tease. I’m going to fuck the shit out of you. Your cunt is here to please me. I’m gonna fill it up so good, I wanna see my jizz dripping down your legs.”

“I want to feel you empty inside me, wanna feel your cock throbbing.”

His hips are working into you double time when he starts to scream his song of release. You wrap your legs tighter around him and say, “I want your hot cum spilling out of me.”

Mary bites down hard at your shoulder—and you stifle a surprised scream—his cries muffled in your skin as he gives one long, hard thrust, followed by a few staccato jolts. Finished, he lifts himself up on his forearms a bit and rests his head on your sternum as he pants, and you run your hands up and down his moist back.

He finally rolls off you and sprawls on his back, one arm draped over his eyes, the other strewn to the side. When you flop onto his chest, he seems surprised, and both arms come around you—which is why he can’t immediately defend himself when your hand shoots out to stroke his softening cock.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Suey,” he says as he stiffens. “Sensitive,” he whines as his one hand reaches down to remove yours from his cock. You laugh at him as he jerks and gasps until he manages to pry your fist free.

He’s still got your wrist in his grip when you wiggle on top of him and press your face to his.

“But would you let me, though?” you say as your lips touch his. “If I wanted to keep going, would you be a good boy and let me tease you?”

The grip on your wrist tightens and the hand you hadn’t realized had clamped onto your thigh digs in.

“Fuck, Suey,” Mary says in an exhaled breath. “I’d let you do almost anything.”

Biting his bottom lip, you pull it out before letting it go to snap back. “That’s what I like to hear.”

You shift to rise, but one of Mary’s hands sinks into your hair and presses your head down. He kisses you hard, but in a slow, sated way. You grind down into him, rubbing into his chest and his clothes.

“Jesus … again?”

“I’m still horny,” you whine, as you mash into him.

“When are you fucking not horny?”

“Mary …”

“Ok, ok. Christ, you’re greedy. Here—roll over …”

Rolling off him, you lie onto your back; Mary shifts onto his side, his one hand working between your legs to press at your clit.

You grab his wrist to ground yourself. “Yes, Mare.”

You let yourself get lost in the ministrations of his index finger; it circles your sensitive clit before flicking over it. Then it dips down to tap at your hole before stroking up and down between both sweet spots—only to repeat the process.

It’s a great process even if Mary’s being matter of fact about it due to circumstance, and you writhe unabashedly—moaning and grunting—as your next orgasm draws closer. Your pussy pulsates in warning, and you curl a little towards Mary, your hands flying to grip into his shirt as you let out an Ugn, Mary. His finger speeds up, and you feel your eyes roll back. You let out a wet Ffffff right before your walls clench … and then you’re juttering and moaning as you cum to the tempo of Mary tapping at your engorged clit.

Even as you’re slumping and Mary is slowing his motions, he leans down to whisper in your ear.

“You’re so fucking hot. Another?”

And you could—you really could. Mary’s got the fit fingers, and your clit throbs at the suggestion—but you’re very aware that you’re also on the dirty floor in a bustling venue. So you roll into him, mouth half missing his before you suck his tongue down. Mary goes with it, and soon enough you’re once again in his lap. His hands ruck up your top and sneak under your bra to fondle your tits.

“Fuck,” he slurs, “I just wanna get you back to your place and fuck you again.”

You tilt your head back to give him access to your neck.

“Don’t you need to say ‘hi’ to the band or something?”

“Or something,” he mutters into your clavicle. You let him follow the slope of your shoulder, flinching slightly when he makes contact with his bite mark.

“You bit me again,” you grumble, rolling your shoulders.

“Sorry.” His tongue traces the livid red though the fishnet.

“No you’re not.”

“No, I’m not.”

“C’mon,” you say as you squirm on him. “We should go.”

He plants his face into your chest, one hand moving up to rest on your neck.

“Do we have to?”

“Sucks, I know. But we can’t sit here all night with our dicks out. I at least need to pee.”

Mary tilts his head to grin up at you, and you quickly cover his mouth with your hand.

“Mare! Do not.”

When he gives your palm a long, slobbery lick, you just make a sound of disgust and wipe it off on his shirt.

The two of you get up and start to put yourselves back in order. You cast about for your leggings only to find Mary trying to stuff them in his pocket, and you notice that there are sticky wet spots on his jeans.

“Mare. You can’t use my pants as cover up.”

“Cover up?” He squints at you and then follows your line of sight down to his crotch. “Oh. This?” He swipes his index finger through a patch, then rubs it against his thumb before seeming to inspect it. His tongue darts out to lick it off his digits. “Mmm, maybe I’m saving this as a snack for later.”

“Gross, Mary!” You’re 90% sure he did it just to squick you out, but you never know.

He smiles, pleased with himself.

You step toward him, hand outstretched. “Give me my pants!”

He steps away from you. “Nuh-uh.”

“C’mon, Mary!” You reach forward with a grabby hand, but he swipes them out of his pocket and holds them above his head. “What the fuck?!” you gripe.

His eyes dart to your bare, exposed thighs. “Maybe I really do wanna see my jizz trickle down your legs.”

You make a mean lemon face at him, and when he throws his head back to laugh, you playfully punch him in the gut. Still laughing, he doubles over with an Uff, and you take the opportunity to snatch your leggings from his grasp.

“Come on, fuckhead,” you grumble as you ball up the fabric as much as you can in your hands.

The two for you sneak out of the office—only to run into a smoker sneaking back in through the back door. There’s moment when the 3 over you all stare at each in other in a cursed tableau, until Mary says,

“None of us were ever here.”

Smoker glances down at the pants in your hands, smirks, and gives you both a salute before making an “after you” gesture. You break off to wait in the line for the Ladies’ Room, and Mary honks your ass.

“See you on the floor, baby doll.”

You turn to glare at him, but he’s already walking away.

Between waiting in line; cleaning between your legs with moistened, paper hand towels; and cleaning Mary’s make up off the rest of you after you see yourself in the mirror—a few women smirking, a few judging—it takes you a good 30min to get your situation in order. When you get back to the pit, you don’t see Mary anywhere in sight. He’s not on the outskirts either, or at the bar. Texting him would be useless because even if he hadn’t let his phone go dead, he always keeps it on silent.

The only place else you can think of is that he’s made his way into the Green Room. Even though your wrists bands are the same color as everyone else who is of age, you did notice that the bouncer grabbed yours from a different bunch, so you hope maybe you can get backstage without Mary.

You approach the bored-looking bouncer who’s guarding the hall, ready to explain, but he just asks for your wrist in a monotone. You stick out your arm, which he takes in a professional manner so he can twist and turn it; he has a little black light that eventually illuminates an “x” on your wrist band.

Huh.

“All right,” he says, his eyes already off you and back to scanning the room before he even drops your arm.

You can hear the guffawing down the hall, so you just follow the noise. You poke your head around the corner of the doorframe; the room is filled with mostly skinny boys in various states of ripped shirts (if they’re wearing shirts), denim pants, and big hair from teasing or glue. You squint, trying to find Mary like this is a Where’s Waldo? picture.

“Can we help you, sweetheart?” says a voice, and a handful of heads turn your way.

“Mine,” says Mary, and you turn toward his voice. He’s straddling what looks like an amp, or maybe a table shaped like an amp, and holding his arms out to you and making grabby hands. There’s a chorus of “hoorays” as you walk over.

“I told you dudes she was smart.”

He pulls you down onto one leg—and you hope he can feel the cold dampness of your crotch through his rips, because honestly you should both suffer that indignity—and wraps both arms around your middle.

“Why am I smart?” you ask as you turn your head to his and hook your arm over his shoulder.

“They didn’t think you’d find me.”

You lean back into him. “Well, it was either here or you left, and I didn’t think you’d be that stupid.”

There’s a chorus of chuckles and a few shouted insults about Mary’s intelligence, which he graciously meets with his middle finger.

“Can you really know what a wild Goore will do? Seems like a lucky guess.” shouts someone.

“Yeah! He’s pretty feral!” shouts another, which is met with some snickering.

Mary just gives it back in different plays of flipping the bird. You wind your fingers into his greasy, sweaty hair so he has to look at you.

“Mary knows his place.”

You hear someone choke on something and someone else say “Jesus”. Mary’s eyes widen, and you swear that if he had a tail, he'd be wagging it. There’s a bit of nervous laughter before the conversation veers off around the two of you. Mary tilts his head so that he can whisper in your ear.

“Wanna get out of here?”

Grinning, you nod.

Mary takes the leave for the both of you amidst playful chiding and some cat calls. He just drapes his arm around your shoulder.

“What can I say? The lady isn’t wrong.” He gives you a leering once over. “I know exactly where my place is.”

As you roll your eyes at him, the whole corner of the room erupts—with empty soda cans and balled up napkins being thrown at you.

“Get the fuck outta here, Goore!”

Laughing, the two of you hightail it out of the room. Mary immediately pushes you against the wall.

“You’re a fucking menace, you know that?” He leans down to nip at your neck. “I have a reputation to maintain.”

You giggle. “I don’t give a shit.”

There’s groan, and the two of you jump apart.

“Fuck’s sake, Goore—get the hell out of here!”

“All right, all right! We’re leaving.”

***

It’s a cold walk back to your place, Mary shivering despite his leather jacket as his sweat cools.

“Wanna get a slice?” you ask him.

You can always eat pizza, but a little warm up might be good for your dumbass boyfriend and his allergy to wearing his winter coat.

“Yeah, sure. You’re kinda a bitch when you’re hangry. Fuck, ow.”

There's a place on your walk home that makes bank by doing only pizza slices after hours, and if you get there before the 2 o’clock show, there’s even space to sit down. When you and Mary get there, there’s a line to order, but a free table, which Mary hens you to go save while he gets the slices.

He arrives like a conquering hero, smirking as he saunters lazily, plates in hand … until he realizes that the way he’s stacked them has made the cheese of your one plain slice stick to the bottom of his plate.

“Shit, sorry,” he says and he fumbles to scrape it off.

You shake your head in mock disapproval. “You’re fucking useless, you know that?”

“Quiet, you,” he says as he licks the grease from his finger. “I even got you that disgusting trash you like.”

He’s referring to the other slice (Hawaiian) that you’re now blowing on.

“Whatever, salami boy,” you respond as you tilt your chin at his paper plate—now translucent with grease—covered in slices of pepperoni.

He peels off a piece of the meat and flicks it at you; it lands with a splat on the top of one tit, and you make a disgruntled noise at him.

Mary just wiggles his tongue. “Want me to get that for you?”

You only glare at him and put down your slice so that you can peel off the circle, dabbing at the sauce on your top with a napkin. Mary picks up his own to eat—which gives you the opportunity to flick it right back. It hits the lapel of his jacket, and he flails in horror. You smack your hand over your mouth to block your cackle, and shove some napkins over to him.

“Suey,” he whines as he begins to rub at it.

“Wait wait wait—blot, don’t rub!”

Mary just whines again as he begins to dab violently at it. You grab a few napkins and scamper over to the end of the counter where an Asian woman is switching out trays. When she looks up at you, you give her an imploring look.

“Can I get some dish soap?” you ask as you wave the napkins.

She blinks at you and says, “One moment,” before she’s yelling to someone in the back. “Hēi, Zhāng Wēi, nǐ néng zài zhǐ to shàng fàng xiē xǐ wǎn jīng ma?”

A moment later, a man comes out from the back holding a soapy paper towel. The woman points at you, and the exchange is made.

“Thanks!” you chirp as you spin on your heel back to Mary. He’s pouting up at you. You tsk as you half straddle his one leg. “Don’t be a baby, it’s fine.” You blot gently at the small slick of grease, the soap resting in white crests atop the black of his leather as you press.

It takes a few passes with drying in between, but it finally comes out ok.

“There you go, Mare. All better.” You plant a wet kiss on the affected area.

When you move to climb off him, Mary grabs your wrist.

“What about my kiss?”

You scoff at him. “You aren’t the injured party.”

“Not the—it’s my fucking jacket!”

You spin out of his grasp so you can reclaim your seat and eat your pizza.

“And who fired the first shot?”

He exaggerates his pout. “Whatever.”

You listen to him as he waxes poetic about the bands the two of you saw tonight and interject when you can about the attractiveness of the members just get him in a lather. Even while doing most of the talking, Mary eats all 3 of his slices in the time it takes you to finish your two, and then he eats the crusts you leave.

You quirk your eyebrow. “Hungry much?”

He leans back and pats his food baby.

“If I’m gonna fuck your greedy ass all night, I need some fuel.”

“Ok, bot-thario.”

***

As you walk home, Mary grabs your hand and stuffs it into his pocket, interlocking your finger together like you might fly away. He looks up at the sky and huffs out a puff of breath that mists in the air in front of him.

“You ever wish you could see all the stars? Like, some out of the city shit?”

“You mean without the light noise?”

“Yeah. My middle school always took the 7th graders to the Poconos at the end of the year. One night they took us out to a field where we chomped on those lifesavers, you know? The mint ones? They spark in the dark.”

“Wint-o-green?”

He looks over at you. “Yeah. They also had us lay down in the grass and talked about the constellations. I think we were more impressed with being allowed to be up so late … but I do remember thinking that the stars were so bright and so … prolific.”

There’s a moment before you respond.

“We took a yearly camping trip most years. More glamping than anything, but I liked to go exploring and climb up the rocks.” You grin at him. “Always covered in scrapes and dirt.”

“The scandal!”

“It kind of was, though. But we also did our fair share of star gazing, especially if there was a meteor shower.”

Mary bumps you. “Aww, Suey. Did you wish upon a star?” He leans down to your ear. “What did ya wish for?”

You scoff and lean away from him. “Everyone knows you can’t tell or it won’t come true, Goore.”

“Tell meee,” he hisses as he gets closer.

“Stop!” you laugh as you pull your hand free to keep him at bay.

He wraps his arms around you even as you try to squirm free. “Tell me your seeecreets!”

“It won’t come true!” you squeal.

He nips at your ear before giving the shell a lick.

“Well, I’ll tell you one of mine because I’m not fucking stingy.”

Mary slips one hand to rest against your cheek.

“I’ve always kinda wanted to do that again.” He pulls back to look at you. “I mean, maybe not that exactly … but see the stars like that again, yeah?” He searches your face.

“If you say something about my eyes right now, I will spit in your face.”

Mary rolls his eyes and pushes you away from him with a palm to your face and begins to walk on.

“You’re a pain in my ass.”

You catch up with him and shove a hand into his back pocket before giving it a squeeze. “Only sometimes.” You leer up at him.

He looks down at you through slitted eyes.

“Don’t distract me with sex.”

You rub yourself into his side, your other hand traveling down to his crotch.

“You love being distracted with sex.”

Mary suddenly grabs you, and you find yourself pressed against the brick wall of a building. He presses himself into you, a hand winding into your hair to tip your head up so his face can meet yours.

“Yeah, ok. Maybe.”

His other hand fumbles to unhook the first few button toggles on your coat.

"You’ve brought this on yourself, little girl.”

Mary scrambles to get his arms under your thighs, and you wrap your legs around his slight waist and your arms around his corded neck so that he doesn’t drop you. His head comes down to worry at your neck as his pelvis squirms to find a good angle to press in between your legs. He gets a few good ruts into you before you feel his arms begin to tremble.

You’re about to suggest to him that he should put you down when someone across the street whistles. Mary growls, but lets you slide down him. When the two of you turn toward the callout, you see two alternative boys giving the thumbs up. Mary salutes. You lick your middle finger.

They whoop back, and you watch Mary watch them until they’re small on the horizon. When he turns back to you, his gaze is full of intent. He reaches into his pants to adjust himself, then he grabs your wrist.

“Let’s go.”

The causal saunter back to your apartment has turned into a forced march with Mary at the helm. His legs are longer, so you stumble after him until he finally lets go of you—but you still have to do double time to keep up.

When you reach your building, Mary is impatient—his body draped on you and his mouth sucking at your neck as you struggle to unlock the building door. Once inside, you push him away with a laugh before you break out into a run. You have the advantage of a surprise head start, but Mary’s in better shape, and he catches you before you even make it off the second floor landing.

“You’re in so much fucking trouble,” he snarls before he tosses you over his shoulder.

“OH MY GOD, MARE! PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!”

He just slaps your ass through your coat a few times. You beat ineffectually at his back—cursing—as he totters up the next two flights, but Mary doesn’t put you down.

When he gets to your door, he’s panting. You squirm, but he’s not moved.

“Stop wiggling unless you want me to drop your ass. Gimme your keys.”

Because you’re an asshole, you drop the keys on the floor instead of into his hand. There’s a long pause during which you try to hold in your laughter even as the jiggle of your body gives you away.

“Well played—but don’t think this gets you out of the trouble you’re in.”

He sets you down so that you’re boxed in between him and the door while he squats to grab the keys. You reach down to grab his hair, but he bats your arm out of the way before standing up again.

“Nuh-uh. None of that.”

Mary makes sure to lean into you as he works at getting your door open, so when it does, you go stumbling backwards with an ungainly exclamation. Then you slip on all your mail—envelopes scattering everywhere—and your arms pinwheel for balance. Mary’s arm shoots out to grab at the collar of your coat, steadying you.

“That’s your own fucking fault,” he rumbles as he slams the door behind him. Then he yanks you back into him, pressing his lips hard to yours before giving them a good nibble. You go to lean into him, but makes a sing-song “nuh-uh” sound before pushing you into the wall.

He pins you again with his body.

“Fuck. I want you here, like this. Take your shorts off.”

You love it when Mary’s like this—rabid, savage, all Id—just as much as when he’s whining at your feet, and your heart beats in between your legs in anticipation. Once again, you contort to shimmy out of your leggings. When you’ve got one leg free, Mary’s hands are at you—undoing the rest of your coat toggles and shoving your skirt up around your stomach. His dick is already out, and he yanks up one of your thighs to hip level, his other hand sliding back to grip into the meat of your ass.

“Guide me in,” he half whispers, and you reach down blindly, grasping for his dick. You get the tip into you, and Mary grunts—resting his head against the wall—pushing in the rest of the way. “Fuck. You’re tight like this.”

You moan, your hands scrabbling at the back of his jacket as you clench around him. The grip on your thigh becomes painful, and he begins to thrust into you shallowly.

“So fucking wet too. You wet for my dick, huh? Dripping at the thought of what I was going to do to you?”

“Your fucking cock, Mary. Are you gonna punish me with it? For being such a tease?”

“You’re goddamned right I am.” He lets go of you, his dick slipping out of your pussy as he leans back. “Turn around … and take that coat off.”

You grapple with your coat, trying to shake it off your arms. When you feel Mary grab ahold, you hiss, “Rip my fucking coat and I’ll rip you.”

“Shut up,” he grumbles, but he also gently eases you out of the garment before tossing haphazardly to the side. “Over,” he rasps as he bends you—one hand on your head, the other pressing into your belly—so that your palms are flat against the wall. He kicks your legs together before he’s sliding into you again.

Hands gripping your hips, grunting with each movement, Mary pounds into you. Hard. When he finally punches into your G-stop you moan low and long, buckling forward a bit. Mary hisses at you to keep position, but after that he manages to hit your sweet spot on most thrusts.

“Oh fuck, Mare—harder,” you slur as your head rolls onto one of your arms.

There’s a slight pause, and then he’s rolling his hips before giving you sharp jolts.

“You want it harder, or you want my finger on your clit?”

You make a long Mmm noise. “One, then the other.”

“Fucking picky,” he grumbles, but then he’s punching into you again. And again.

And again.

You moan and grunt, pressing back into him where you can as he pounds into you. When your fingernails start scrabbling at the wall, one of Mary’s hands detaches from your hips and slides down between your legs; it splays, and one of his fingers starts rubbing at your neglected clit.

This time you really do buckle forward with pleased Uhn, and you feel the heat of Mary’s hard cock as it slips out of you. A breathy Shit escapes his mouth as his finger leaves you so that he can reposition you and slide his cock back in.

“Oh!” you gasp. “Fuck me good, Mare!”

“Christ, I’m trying. Stay still.”

You acquiesce as best you can, letting his finger slip slide on your clit as his cock punches into you. You’re gasping and moaning, rolling your head from side to side, and at some point you started banging your fist on the wall. The closer you get to your climax, the more your legs begin to tremble.

The two of you babble nonsense at each other.

“Oh, I want it—I want it! I wanna cum. I wanna cum. Make me cum, Mare. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me …”

“I’m gonna give it to you so good, baby doll. My cock’s gonna make you cum so hard. Are you gonna do it? Are you gonna cum on my cock?”

You press back into Mary and then rock into his finger, trying to climb over the hill of arousal to your climax. He’s beginning to lose his steadiness, his speed and consistency becoming erratic.

“Fuck, Suey—I’m gonna … I’m gonna …”

The thought of Mary blowing his load and moaning his pleasure into you brings you to the crest of your hill, and you yell out Fuckfuckfuck—banging your fist into the wall—as you feel yourself tighten, then spasm in pulses. You almost slide down the wall, but suddenly Mary’s hand is gripping the front of your neck and angling you up as he starts slamming frenetically into you, panting hard.

He lets out a loud grunt as he cums, thrusting hard into you and pressing you into the wall; he squashes you further as he fucks out his aftershocks and attempts to latch onto the nape of your neck before deciding to just suck the ever-loving fuck out of your skin there.

Your face and arms are pressed against the cool of the wall, and Mary’s suction is turning into little kisses as his arms wrap around your middle.

“Mmm,” he purrs as he nuzzles into your skin.

You can already feel Mary’s cock softening, so you wiggle around to face him; he’s already there and waiting, his mouth finding yours to worm his tongue into. His hands run up to wind into your hair as he rubs against you.

“Fuck. What did I ever do to deserve you,” he murmurs against your lips.

“Probably the blow jobs,” you mutter back at him, and he laughs.

Mary’s hand travels back between your legs, two fingers tapping at then sliding in and out of your hole.

“Mare,” you grunt, pulling away from his kisses.

“What?” he asks as his mouth only starts to travel down your neck.

“Mare, what’re you doing?”

“Hmm,” he hums. “Just feeling my jizz drip out of you. S’nice.”

You make a sound of indignation and push him away from you. Even stumbling back he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Don’t be gross, Mare.”

He raises his hands up in supplication.

***

After you’ve made Mary join you in a quick shower—laughingly fending off further lascivious attacks—the two of get ready for bed.

Mary actually crawls into bed way before you do, so you wrap yourself around his half-asleep comma when you slip under the covers.

“Mare?”

He grunts.

“Do you really want to see the stars again?”

There’s a pause—and you think he must have drifted off—but then one of his hands rests atop yours.

“Yeah,” he croaks.

“Ok, baby,” you say, kissing his neck.

He tenses for a second, then relaxes.

“Ok,” he says as he grips your hand tighter.

Next ➡️

[possibly-starker]

CherryDust. [Starker]

Murray smiles, greeting the audience, “Thank you! Thank you, you’re really too kind,” he says, taking his seat in the iconic velvet chair.

“Today we have the honor of having Peter Parker and the Cherrybombers on today’s show!” Murray beams as the crowd goes wild, whooping and cheering, Murray winks at the camera as he begins again, “Please, put your hands together, for what I think might be the most influential band of this generation!”

The sideline band plays the Murray Franklin jingle as Peter Parker and the Cherrybombers emerge from backstage, blowing kisses and throwing up peace signs. The crowd eats it up, losing their minds over the boys. Murray gives them all sort of half-hugs as they take their seats.

Finally the crowd dies down a bit. “Boys!” Murray greets, “It’s been so long since we’ve had you on the show,” Murray starts, exaggerating his motions, “Last time we had you on you all were about 16, right?”

Peter smiles politely, “Actually, Steve was 17.” Murray nods, “Yes, of course, and although we’re so happy to have you on the show, and of course we all love you, we have to talk about the recent drama going on between you and a rival band- ElectricDust.”

The crowd boos at the name, once thought of as few boys skipping supper with their family and refusing to go to church, now associated with drugs and statism, sex before marriage and cuss words.

Peter giggles, “They’re not much of a problem, Murray. They’re just a bunch of little boys thinking that if they behave badly enough, they’ll get somewhere.”

“They’re mongrels.” T’challa laughs. The audience laughs along with him. Murray chuckles, “Yes, but what are your thoughts on their new song ‘Rotten Cherry’? People are speculating it’s about your band, Peter.”

Peter fakes a smile, “I don’t think I’ve heard it, Murray.” He turns to his band-mates, “Have you guys heard it?” They all collectively shake their heads, murmuring ‘no’.

Murray nods, “Personally, I don’t think that Stark guy could carry a tune even if it was in a bucket!” Everybody in the studio laughs again.

“Tony tries too hard to be hardcore, he ends up looking like an idiot.” Peter sneers, “He’s a child.” The crowd makes noises of agreement.

Peter fakes a smile when Murray leans over and touches his thigh, “You know, they’re degenerates, Peter.” Murray says, almost lovingly. Steve looks like he wants to say something, like he wants to stick up for his band-mate. “I know, Murray.” Peter says, shifting away a bit.

Murray looks at Peter longingly, before turning to the camera, “We’re going to take a short break, and afterwards Peter Parker and the Cherrybombers will play their new hit single- Dewdrop Daisy!”

The cameraman gives Murray a thumbs up, and the beeping light on the camera turns off.

“Why don’t you meet me in my dressing room, Peter?” Murray says, standing up and adjusting his tie.

Peter feels sick to his stomach

“Okay.” He says sweetly.

-

The mosh pit smells like weed and sex, and Tony adores it. ElectricDust had a full house, not one ticket left over. Tony cards his hand through sweaty hair, “I hope you motherfuckers are having a good night!” he yells into the mic. The crowd screams back something obscene and Tony grins.

“If you want to fuck our bassist, scream at the top of your lungs!” Tony laughs, the crowd erupts in a loud roar, and Bucky, ElectricDust’s bassist, blushes.

The crowd dies down, and Tony speaks smoothly into the mic as he adjusts his guitar strap, “This next one was written for a nice piece of ass and his cronies,” the crowd ‘ooo’s and Tony can’t help the smirk forming on his lips, “‘Rotten Cherry’ is dedicated to my very good friend, who I know inside and out- Peter Parker!”

The crowd chants Pe-ter Par-ker over and over, and Tony hopes this preformance is somehow seen by the small brunette.

He feels like a god among men.

-

“You’re fueling the flames by talking about them.” Natasha scolds, leaning against he desk as the boys sit in her office. “You’re supposed to be a good christian pop/rock band- calling people ‘mongrels’ isn’t what you guys are supposed to do.” she glares at T’challa.

“ElectricDust is a problem, I, as your manger am supposed to deal with, is that understood?” The boys look at their suede shoes and mutter statements of agreement.

“Good.” Natasha says, placing her hands on her hips. She goes behind her desk and digs in a cabinet, retrieving a sleek styled red velvet envelope, “I’ve accepted an invitation to a little something I think you all might like.” she smiles, handing Peter the envelope.

Peter holds it carefully, looking up at Natasha with wide, confused eyes. “Go on and open it, we haven’t got all day.” She says in a motherly tone. The boys all gather around Peter as he opens the envelope cautiously, as if he was scared of what was inside.

He pulls out a dazzling blue card, very official looking.

‘PETER PARKER AND THE CHERRYBOMBERS HAVE BEEN NOMINATED FOR ‘BAND OF 1981’ ALONG WITH THEIR SONG, ‘DEWDROP DAISY’.

PLEASE REPORT TO ASGARD, U.S.A. FOR THE AWARDS CEREMONY.

LOKI LAUFEYSON, PRESIDENT OF OPALITE RECORDS.’

It says, in a swirly gold font. Peter keeps re-reading it, eyes shifting like crazy, looking for a sign that this is a fake or a joke. Steve’s breath hitches and Beck lets out a whoop of laughter, high-diving T’challa.

Peter finally looks up at Natasha again, who’s smiling softly. “Is this real?” Peter asks, out of breath. Natasha nods, “As real as they come.”

Opalite Records.

Opalite Records.

Who cares? It’s only the most exclusive record brand in the world, It was only the award ceramony that turned David Bowie and Bob Dylan down- no big deal.

Peter began to hyperventilate.

-

“Dude!” Quill yelled, grinning ear-to-ear as he entered the band’s trailer, holding up a velvet envelope.

Tony looked up from his guitar, “What do you want?” Quill slapped the envelope on the coffee-table in the middle of the trailer, looking quite proud of himself. “Open that shit up, Stark.”

Tony rolled his eyes, but leaned forward and picked up the envelope nonetheless, “If this is another bill for your porno-mags, Quill, so help me god-” he stopped mid-sentence after pulling out the card inside the envelope, face controrting.

‘ELECTRICDUST HAS BEEN NOMINATED FOR ‘BAND OF 1981’ ALONG WITH THEIR ALBUM, ‘MAN OF IRON’.

PLEASE REPORT TO ASGARD, U.S.A. FOR THE AWARDS CEREMONY.

LOKI LAUFEYSON, PRESIDENT OF OPALITE RECORDS.’

Quill beams as Tony looks over the letter, “And you said I was a shit manager.” Tony leans back into his chair, “You are.” Quill completely deflates, walking over and snatching the card out of Tony’s hand, huffing, “Do you know how many strings I had to pull to get you considered for the ceremony?”

Tony tries to look stern, but Quill looks like he’s going to bitch all day if Tony doesn’t cave in, “Fine, fine, whatever man, thanks, you did well.” Tony sighs. Quill smiles again, “Finally, I’m getting the recognition I deserve.” Tony snorts but doesn’t reply.

Quill clasps his hands together, “I’m gonna grab a beer, they opened a bar just down the street- wanna come?”

Tony shakes his head, “Grab me a pack of Marlboros while you’re out.”

-

“Looking sharp, Parker.” Steve smiles, leaning against the dressing room doorframe. Peter grins, fixing his cuffs in the mirror, “You really think so? It’s not too much?”

Steve shrugs, “It’s nice. Very you.” Peter shoots Steve a playful glare, “Is that supposed to be a compliment, Rogers?”

“You overthink things, Peter. You look fine.” Steve sighs, crossing his arms. Peter scoffs, “Fine is for church, I need to look better than fine; we’re going to the awards ceremony to top all award ceremonies, Steve. It’s going to be televised.”

Steve lets out a soft laugh, “You’re so different from the Peter Parker I knew in highschool.” Peter looks confused, “That’s a good thing, isn’t it? I was a nobody in highschool.”

“You were my friend. Just because you didn’t have people fawning over you left and right doesn’t mean you were a nobody. You liked Star Wars and turning your homework in early.” Steve looks slightly offended, and Peter gives him an unamused stare, “As much as I love you, Steve, being your nerdy little highschool friend in the middle of NowheresVille, Wisconsin doesn’t get you invited to the Opalite Records ceremony.”

Steve’s offended look blends into a sad one, “We started this band out of your uncle’s garage. It was for fun. This isn’t fun, anymore Peter. It’s not fun when it’s all you think about.” he says softly, walking out of the room.

Peter doesn’t realize that Steve’s gone until it’s time to leave.

-

“Baby, listen to me,” Tony says over the phone, “I know I cheated on you, but I’m a changed man, just come to this shindig with me for a few hours.”

Pepper sighs over the phone, “You know, I would, Tony, but I just can’t be bothered right now. Goodbye, love.”

click

Tony curses under his breath as he flips through a few more pages in his notebook, settling on a one night stand he had met last week. He dials her number.

“Hi, you’ve reached Wanda Maximoff-”

“Wanda!” Tony smiles, remembering her name, “Listen, babe, how’d you like to go on a little date with me tonig-”

“-I’m not here right now, but you’re welcome to leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible!” the recorded message chirps and Tony’s face falls, he slams the phone down on its hook.

He groans. He’s called just about every girl he’s ever interacted with, and not one wanted to accompany Tony to the awards ceremony.

“Woah,” Scott, ElectricDust’s keyboard player, says, entering the trailer’s makeshift livingroom, “Someone’s havin’ a bad day.”

“Wanna go on a date with me, Scott?” Tony says with a strained laugh. Scott fans himself, “On a date? With you? How could I possibly say no?” Tony buries his face in his hands, obviously stressed. “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I figured.”

“Have you tried, you know, actually being nice to your dates?” Scott says, grabbing a canned beer from the minifridge. “I heard that works wonders.” Tony narrows his eyes, “What do you mean? I’m always nice to my dates!”

Scott raises his brow, opening the can, “Really? You made me drive that blonde girl home yesterday because she didn’t want to so much as look at you.”

Tony stays quiet. Point taken.

Scott takes a few sips of his beer before belching, “Hope you find somebody, Tones. You got about,” he checks his wristwatch, “6 hours before we gotta leave.”

Tony groans again and then continues to flip through his notebook.

-

The theater is gorgeous, a large crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling and painted angels on every wall- Peter feels almost inferior in a place like this.

“Darlings!” Loki announces from across the room, striding over to Peter and his bandmates, “You all look absolutely ravishing.” he smiles. “So glad you could make it!”

Peter nods dumbly, blushing. “Thanks so much for inviting us, Mr. Laufeyson, it's a real honor.” Steve steps in, firmly taking Loki’s hand in his and shaking it. “Yes, well, the media would absolutely die if you all weren't invited- there's champagne and wine being served at the lounge if you want any.” Loki quickly says, before sashaying away.

Peter’s practically glowing as he turns to face his bandmates, “I think that went really well.” he grins.

-

“Jesus, Scott, could you be any worse of a driver?” Bucky sneers, holding onto the door handle as Scott swerves. “You’re lucky I'm not making you take the Metro, tin-man.”

The car is cramped and hot, making it difficult for Tony to snort a nice clean line. “We’re 30 minutes late,” Bucky says, almost annoyed, “Step on it.”

Scott turns around to face the brunette, running through a red light, “You know, you're a real bitch, Buck.” Tony sighs, finally getting a good half of the powder up his nose, “Eyes on the road, Scotty.” he mumbles, sinking back into the leather seat.

Scott says something under his breath, but turns back around and continues to drive.

-

Peter chokes on his sparkling water when he sees a very certain group of people get pass security.

What's worse is the fact that they're completely ignoring the dress code, showing up in denim jeans and t-shirts. Peter thinks he's going to puke.

Tony feels ecstatic when he spots that tuft of curly chocolate hair in the crowd, excusing himself from his bandmates as he pushes through the sea of Hollywood's elite.

“Parker!” he yells, and Peter tries to pretend he didn't hear it, turning away and taking another sip of his sparkling water.

“Don't be that way, princess!” Tony grins, finally catching up to the small thing, ”I just wanna talk to you.” Peter doesn't respond, which just makes Tony more restless, ”Parker, c’mon, baby! Let's catch up, preferably in the back of Scott’s car, but whatever works for you.”

Peter gives in, reluctantly, looking around to make sure nobody important is looking before speaking, “What the hell are you doing here? Did you come here just to ruin my night?” Peter hisses. Tony laughs, which just puts Peter more at unease, “Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart, me and my boys were invited.”

“Unlikely.” Peter scoffs. “Invited to clean the floors more like it.”

Tony looks more annoyed now than anything, “My boys have worked just as hard as yours to be here, Parker.” Peter huffs, “You’re kidding. You don’t actually think you deserve to be here, right?” Peter let’s out a breathy laugh at the idea. “You’re nobodies, Stark,” he begins, poking at Tony’s chest, “You make music for losers, for outcasts. You’re only here because you gained popularity by dissing my band.”

Peter smiles up at Tony and walks away, leaving Tony alone with his battered ego.

-

Peter and Tony avoid each other for the rest of the night, despite their bandmates mingling and laughing with eachother, enjoying tiny cheese platters and white wine.

Peter’s too stubborn to make amends.

Tony just wants to give him space.

Finally, at around 12, the lights dim down and everyone is ushered into the seating area. Loki walks on stage, holding several envelopes in his hands.

“Thank you all for coming,” he says, sweetly, into the mic, “It means a lot to my record label that you took time out of your busy lives to visit little ole’ me.” the crowd giggles at that, Peter included.

“Now, without further ado- I give you the 22nd annual Opalite Records awards ceremony!” the crowd cheers and claps, buzzing with excitement.

Peter crosses his fingers, and Tony wishes they had something stronger than champagne.

-

After a grueling 2 hours of watching other bands and solo artists receive awards, Loki finally announces that he has the final and most important award of the evening.

“Everyone in this room is awfully talented,” Loki says, smiling softly, “But these people are just... better. Don’t take it too harshly, now.” he opens the card, slowly and teasingly, Peter thinks he’s going to pass out from the anticipation. Tony’s on his fifth glass of red wine, and he’s showing now signs of stopping.

“And the winner for band of 1981 is...”

Peter’s palms are sweaty, and he’s on the edge of his seat.

“My, what a surprise, it’s ElectricDust!”

Peter’s world comes crashing down around him, he glances over to where Tony and his goons are getting up, stumbling over their own feet.

It’s not fair.

It’s not fair.

“Woah, hey Peter, are you oka-” Steve begins, trying to comfort his friend, but Peter jolts up, interrupting him.

“I’m... going for a walk.” he declares, voice breaking.

Tony watches as Peter quickly makes a bolt for the exit. He taps Scott on the shoulder, “I’ll be right back.” he mumbles.

Scott’s eyebrows furrow, “Dude, it’s speech time! You gotta go up ther-”

“Make up something!” Tony grins, already making his way towards the exit as well, “Thank my mom for me!”

-

Peter sits on the cold, concrete steps outside of the theatre, hot tears streaming down his face. He had worked so hard, and it didn’t even matter.

“Is this seat taken?” a familiar voice softly speaks from behind Peter.

“Did you come here to rub it in?” Peter sniffles, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Tony takes a seat next to Peter, “No. I came here because I care.”

Peter laughs, rolling his eyes, “Am I supposed to believe that?”

Tony shrugs, “Believe what you want, Peter. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

They sit in silence for a while.

“Thank you.” Peter says softly, not daring to look up at Tony. “What you’re doing it’s- you’re a good guy.” he says, shyly.

Tony smiles, “I don’t give a shit about the award, or being even nominated, in all honesty, that Loki guy gives me the creeps.”

“Why’d you come here then?”

“I wanted to see you. I was hoping writing a song about you would grab your attention, but I think I like talking face-to-face better.”

Peter smiles, a gorgeous ‘I-don’t-know-I’m-smiling’ kind of smile, and Tony’s heart swells.

“I’m sorry I said all that stuff about you.” Peter finally says, gaining the courage to look Tony in the eye.

“I’ve been called worse- no hard feelings.”

Peter’s eyes light up as he giggles.

“Listen, I don’t exactly have a date for this thing,” Tony jabs a thumb at the building, “Know anybody who might wanna, I don’t know, get together? Even if it’s just for tonight.”

Peter pretends to think for a second. “I might; but he’s really hungry, so you might want to ask him after a burger. Or 5.”

Tony laughs, standing up, extending his arm so that Peter can grab it, “The night’s still young, princess.”

Peter beams, letting himself get heaved up by Tony, “We best make the most of it.”

🌻🌻🌻🌻

The absolutely beautiful moodboard was made by the fantastic @starkermoodboards !! She makes fucking stellar boards so why are you not following her.

This fic took forever to write, so appreciate it please 😔 i’m also sorry this is so long????

-Red.

[andrewrosswatson1987]

REVISIT: EMINEM UNVEILED THE MARSHALL MATHERS LP THIS DAY IN 2000

Eminem released his third album, The Marshall Mathers LP, which came out today (May 23) in 2000, released via labels, Aftermath/Interscope. Worldwide, it’s sold over thirty-five million copies to date. Singles for this album were “The Real Slim Shady”, “The Way I Am”, “Stan”, “I’m Back” and “B*tch Please II”. “Kill You” opens with “When I just a little baby boy my momma used to tell me these crazy things; she used to tell me my daddy was an evil man, she used to tell me he hated me, but then I got a little bit older and I realised she was the crazy one; but there was nothin’ I could do or say to try to change it, ‘cos that's just the way she was”.  That’s only the start. “Just bend over and take it like a slut; okay, Ma? Oh, now he’s raping his own mother,” for example.  “Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all danglin’ from his neck, while his head barely hangs on; blood, guts, guns, cuts/Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts,” more so.  “Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up; I’m tryin’ to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell ‘em” darker yet, to the depths of the hell, licks of guitar and bobbing bass ominous. 

“Stan”, featuring Dido, opens with pouring rain and the latter singing mournfully.  The descending bassline adding to that effect.  The fan, indeed, descends from infatuation to the incensed.  This evidenced in, “Dear Slim, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance/I ain’t mad, I just think it's f*cked up you don’t answer fans”.  Real invective as he swears at his idol. “Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I’d write you you would write back; see, I’m just like you in a way, I never knew my father, neither/He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her”. “See everything you say is real, and I respect you ‘cos you tell it/My girlfriend’s jealous ‘cos I talk about you 24/7,” coming between Stan and his other half. “It’s been six months and still no word, I don’t deserve it/I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on ‘em perfect” and “You ruined it, now; I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it/And when you dream I hope you can’t sleep and you scream about it/I hope your conscience eats at you and you can’t breathe without me” progressively impassioned, voice breaking and all. Eminem finally writes back.  “You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselling/To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some” like idol turned counsellor.   “Who Knew” is harsh hit of programmed drum with sparse guitar and bass. The lyrical bent equally harsh, no blunt instruments.  “I’m like, guidance/Ain’t they got the same moms and dads who got mad when I asked if they liked violence”.  Then, “And told me that my tape taught ‘em to swear/What about the makeup you allow your twelve-year-old daughter to wear” proving universal hypocrisy.  “Wasn’t me; Slim Shady said to do it, again/Damn, how much damage can you do with a pen,” perhaps turning inwards, once again. 

The dark thoughts of “The Way I Am” is cyclical of piano, tolling of bell.  “I’m not Mr. Friendly, I can be a pr*ck” demonstrating this.  “I’m lifting you ten feet in the air/I don’t care/Who was there/And who saw me, just jaw you; go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit” getting irate.  “When a dude’s getting bullied and shoots up his school,” to the point.  “I’m racin’/I’m pacin’, I stand and I sit/And I’m thankful for every fan that I get/But I can’t take a sh*t/In the bathroom without someone standing by it” ramping this up. “Remember Me?”, featuring RBX and Sticky Fingaz, takes it back. Deep, dark and sinister.  “I’m tryin’ to clean up my f*ckin’ image/So I promised the f*ckin’ critics I wouldn’t say, f*ckin’, for six minutes” has him willing to compromise.  Then, “F*ck that” has him exploding, going back, seemingly, on his word. Then the biting invective in “I’m Back”, with wayward, conspiratorial guitar with regimented bass and drum forming the basis of the no compromise feel.  “You better get rid of that nine it ain’t gonna help/What good is it gonna do against a man that strangles himself” dark and twisted.  “I used to get punked and bullied on my block, ‘til I cut a kitten’s head off and stuck it in this kid’s mailbox” definitely more so.  “I take seven kids from Columbine/Stand ‘em all in line/Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine/A MAC-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine/And that’s a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time” censored even in the explicit version. “Marshall Mathers” is contemplative and what seems fretless bass.  “Yo, you might see me joggin’/You might see me walkin’, you might see me walkin’ a dead Rottweiler dog with its head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar, hollerin’ at him ‘cos the sonofabitch won’t quit barkin’” peaking early, quick to rise to anger.  “Drivin’ up the block in the car that they shot ‘Pac in, looking for Big’s killers, dressin’ ridiculous/Blue and red, like I don’t see what the big deal is” leads to, “...watchin’ all these cheap imitations get rich off ‘em”.  “The New Kids On The Block sucked a lot of d*ck/Boy, girl groups make me sick/And I can’t wait ‘til I catch all you f*ggots in public/I’ma love it” both arresting and vile. “I think I was put here to annoy the world/And destroy your little four-year-old boy or girl” devastating, “Talkin’ about I fabricated my past/He’s just aggravated I won’t ejaculate in his ass” more impossibly so.  The bass breaks out latterly, twice in fact. Dark ode to Detroit, “Amityville”, featuring Bizarre, resounds with the sound of drum, sparse as if to fuel paranoia.  “That’s why we’re crowned the murder capital, still/This ain't Detroit, this is mother*ckin’ Hamburger Hill” like revelling in local reputation.  The infamy of it all.  Rock guitar embellishes the closing moments. “Bitch Please II”, featuring Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Xzibit and Nate Dogg, has classic written all over just looking at the cameo list and it doesn’t disappoint.  Melding the white and black audiences, like Dre in, “Throw on “Guilty Conscience” at concerts/And watch mosh pits/’til mother*ckers knock eachother unconscious/Some of these crowds that Slim draws is rowdy as Crenshaw Boulevard/When it’s packed and full of cars”. Track, “Criminal”, has funereal organ.  Criminal?  “You goddamn right,” the response.  “How many records you expecting to sell/After your second LP sends you directly to jail” details his past transgressions.  Has he learned? Nope. Then an intermission with him robbing a bank, the song faded to the background and popping the bank clerk in the face.  “Sh*t, half the sh*t I say, I just make it up to make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass/And if it’s not a rapper that I make it as/I’ma be a fuckin’ rapist in a Jason mask” incendiary and waving his rear in full view of white Middle America. The overall highlights are “Kill You”, “Stan”, “Who Knew”, “The Way I Am”, “The Real Slim Shady”, “Remember Me”, “I’m Back”, “Marshall Mathers”, “Drug Ballad”, “Amityville”, “Bitch Please II”, “Under The Influence” and “Criminal”.

Eminem’s The Marshall Mathers LP album can be bought on iTunes, here.

[mikauzoran]

Adrienette Drabble Twenty-Five: Crowd

“A-Adrien. Mec. What are you doing here?” Nino’s normally caramel-brown skin turned the color of a latte that’d been made with too much milk and too little espresso.

Adrien frowned as he came to a stop by the DJ’s booth. “Am…I not supposed to be here? Chloé invited me, so…”

Nino laughed nervously, pasting on a smile and waving his hands. “No. No, I just meant…did you sneak out or something? Because I didn’t think old Gabe would ever let you actually come.”

Adrien shrugged. “It took a little bit of convincing, but…here I am with parental leave and everything.”

Nino bit his lip as he cast a glance around the packed dancefloor for Marinette and Luka. “That’s…that’s great, Mec. Hey. Listen. Who are you hanging out with?”

“No one so far.” Adrien reached up to run a hand through his hair but stopped when he remembered the styling gel. “I was just kind of cruising the perimeter. I’m not actually sure what I’m supposed to do at an informal party like this. I’ve been to so few, and, here, there are no backers to schmooze with, no press to impress, no influential models or designers or potential investors… This is all kind of weird for me.”

Nino pushed the pause button on his panic to smile fondly at his friend. “My Dude, at a party, you dance and drink and eat and talk and laugh. In uni, if your old man continues to mellow, I’m taking you out and socializing you. We are gonna hit up so many parties.”

“I don’t know if I like parties,” Adrien chuckled sheepishly, taking in the writhing mass of bodies covering the enclosed portion of the lower deck of the ship. “There are a lot of people…and I think I have a touch of agoraphobia.”

“Hey, no worries,” Nino replied soothingly, resting a hand on Adrien’s arm. “Nothing bad’s going to happen; I’m with you.”

Adrien smiled shyly, eternally grateful for Nino. “Thanks, Man.”

Nino winked. “Why don’t you hang with me for a bit, if you’ve got nothing better to do? Obviously, I have to do my job, but we can talk in between.”

Adrien nodded, giving Nino’s fedora a playful flick. “Sounds good.”

Adrien spent about a third of the party with Nino before splitting off.

“I should go find Chloé,” Adrien informed. “I saw her briefly when I got here, but she said to come grab her later because she wanted to hang out. She said I owe her a dance because I’m the only guy here who can dance the girl’s part too, and she wants a chance to lead instead of just being led around.”

Nino snorted in laughter at that. “Oh? So you do it backwards in heels too?”

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t mean to brag, but I’m multitalented. Dancing in heels sucks, though.”

Nino lifted an eyebrow. “Seriously, Bro?”

Adrien nodded earnestly. “A couple years ago Helen Griffin, the English fashion designer, brought her son and her son’s friend with her for a vacation while she was doing a runway show here. One of her models broke a leg the day before the show, though, so her son’s friend filled in.”

“How does this explain how you can dance in heels?” Nino wondered.

“The model was female. The son’s friend was male…and the best cross-dresser I’ve ever seen. He may have taught me a few things,” Adrien chuckled.

“Oh, yeah?” Nino snickered. “Do you make a pretty girl, Adrien Agreste?”

“Absolutely gorgeous,” Adrien assured. “Now, I’m going to go find Chloé. You behave yourself.”

“Uh, wait!” Nino caught Adrien by the arm. “Hey. So…” His brow creased in obvious concern. “Look. You remember Juleka’s brother Luka, yeah?”

Adrien’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah? What about him?”

Nino pursed his lips. “I can’t explain right now, but steer clear of him if you happen to see him tonight, okay?”

Adrien’s eyebrow quirked in confusion. “Why?”

“Trust me,” Nino stressed. “Please?”

“But…why?” Adrien repeated.

“I have a really good reason,” Nino promised.

“Okay. What is it?” Adrien snorted.

Nino winced. “I’ll tell you later?”

Adrien stared at his best friend without replying.

“It’s a really, really good reason.” Nino failed to sound convincing.

Adrien shrugged. “I mean…if you say so. See you later, okay?”

“Yeah,” Nino sighed in defeat. “Call me if you need me, okay?”

Adrien raised a hand in parting as he set off to find Chloé.

This actually proved to be a simple task. Chloé’s party dress was a shimmering black, white, and lemon yellow that stood out on the edge of the dance floor, far from the mosh pit.

“Hey, Chlo!” Adrien called. “Great party.”

Chloé squealed with delight, leaving Sabrina mid-sentence to throw herself into Adrien’s arms. “Adri-chou!!!” she trilled like the Queen of the Night from Mozart’s The Magic Flute.

Adrien braced himself for impact and caught her in a crushing hug.

“I thought Nino was going to hog you all night,” she snorted, placing air kisses to the sides of his cheeks. “I’m so glad you finally snuck away.”

She pulled back slightly to take in his black pinstriped shirt, grey vest, and green tie appreciatively. “Again, I love the outfit.”

“You’re looking pretty radiant yourself,” Adrien replied with a wink.

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” Chloé snickered, taking him by the hand and tugging him towards the dancefloor. “Come. You owe me at least half a dozen dances for keeping me waiting so long.”

“Uh…what about Sabrina?” Adrien looked helplessly at the redheaded girl who was currently glaring at him.

Chloé looked back over her shoulder and smiled.

Sabrina perked up instantly.

“Sabrina, be a dear and go get Adri-chou and me some refreshments. We’re going to be parched when we’re through.”

“I don’t need anything, Sabrina,” Adrien assured even as Chloé dragged him off. “Sorry!”

Sabrina’s hands balled into fists, and Adrien began to worry about the girl getting akumatized and coming after him. He wanted to reassure Sabrina, but he really didn’t know what to say. “There’s nothing romantic going on between me and Chloé”? “Chloé can be friends with more than one person at a time”? “You’re still her best friend, Sabrina”? Nothing he could think of seemed accurate or adequate for the situation he found himself in.

In any case, Chloé led Adrien around the dancefloor for half an hour before complaining that her shoes were bothering her.

Adrien and Chloé made their way back to where Sabrina was waiting like a faithful dog with refreshments for the both of them.

“Thank you,” Adrien replied sheepishly as Sabrina sullenly pressed a drink into his hand.

Sabrina gave a little snort of indignance before turning to take off Chloé’s shoes and massage her feet while Chloé made herself comfortable in one of the chairs set up along the periphery.

The trio chatted for another twenty minutes before Adrien, feeling very much like a third wheel, made his excuses and headed off to find more friends to spend time with.

He walked around for a while and didn’t bump into anyone he had ever been particularly close with. He danced one song with Aurore and another with Mireille before he ended up leaning against the far wall, sipping at a glass of champagne and watching the dancers.

“Doing okay?” Plagg whispered from Adrien’s collar.

“Yeah,” Adrien mumbled into his champagne flute. “This is actually going really well. I’m having a lot of fun.”

“Maybe text your father and let him know?” Plagg suggested. “He was feeling pretty anxious about letting you go, and it would probably help him concentrate on his project if he knew you were okay.”

Adrien nodded and obediently fished out his phone.

Text sent, Adrien looked back out at the crowd, searching for a friendly face. “You know,” he realized, “I haven’t really talked to most of the people here in a couple months. Not since…when I was trying not to be in love with Ladybug anymore,” he whispered into his glass. “I’ve been too busy; first, with dating all those different girls. Then, with Elise and Marinette, and, recently…”

“You’ve been avoiding other people,” Plagg finished.

“Yeah. I—Oh, wow,” Adrien gasped, completely forgetting what he had been about to say.

“Wow what?” Plagg peeked his head up to see.

“I think I just fell in love all over again,” Adrien giggled, admiring Marinette as she danced with Alya and some of the other girls from their class.

Marinette’s hair was up in a high bun, and dark blues and soft pinks painted her lips, cheeks, and eyes, making the cerulean of her irises pop. Her navy blue, satin dress fell just above her knee in two tiers. It had a sweetheart neckline that hugged every curve just right, and the delicate lace up her arms and across her chest looked like it had been airbrushed onto her skin. She was light and air and sky and sea and perfection, a water nymph deigning to set foot on land.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Plagg growled. “No. No, no, no, no, no.”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” Adrien countered dreamily. “Plagg, don’t try to tell me you’ve never felt like this before. It’s like when you haven’t seen Tikki in forever and then, all of the sudden, there she is, and you just feel drawn to her because you belong together. You’re two halves of the same whole, and you can’t help but need to be near her.”

“You’ve gone and made it all soppy and gross,” Plagg snorted. “And you have no business mooning over that girl and waxing poetic. You’re supposed to be getting over her so you can function like a normal human being.”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Plagg, destiny chose Marinette and me for one another. I’m never getting over her. I’m just…I’m in the process of learning how to love her healthily.”

“Melting at the sight of her is healthy?” Plagg challenged.

“Oh, hush. I haven’t seen her besides inadequate glimpses at school in weeks, and she looks ethereal. I’ll get better about melting when I can be around her more often,” Adrien reasoned.

Plagg snorted skeptically.

“Maybe I should go talk to her,” Adrien proposed.

“God, help me,” Plagg groaned. “Kid, no. No talking. Tonight’s going so well. Why ruin it?”

“I’ve made so much progress, Plagg. I’ve been spending time with friends, taking Chat Noir on dates, giving Chat compliments, feeling better about myself and the situation in general…plus, my therapist said the other day that I was really improving. I’m…I’m okay now for the most part,” Adrien insisted, trying to prove himself. “Maybe where I am now is good enough to try to rebuild things with Marinette.”

“Kid,” Plagg sighed in warning. “Please don’t do this. I don’t want you hurt again.”

“I’m going to ask her to dance,” Adrien decided, deliberately not hearing Plagg. “I’ll walk up to her next slow song and ask for a dance, and we’ll go outside on the upper deck and dance under the stars as Paris drifts by, and it will be soooo romantic. It’ll be great. I’ll tell her I still love her and still want to be with her and that I’m ready to forgive each other for our mistakes and work together to figure out what we need to do to make a relationship work.”

“Kid,” Plagg pleaded. “Don’t. I mean, how crushed are you going to be if she says no at any point during that scenario? What if she doesn’t want to dance with you? What if she’s not ready to forgive and move forward? What if she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you right now? Kitten, just drop this and go hang out with hat-boy again. You’re having a really good night, and I don’t want Marinette ruining it for you.”

Adrien sighed, not responding as he watched Marinette sadly. His body ached for her, and their month of separation had done nothing to quell the love he’d harbored in his heart for her for four and a half years.

“Why can’t real life be like the fairytales?” He muttered ruefully down into his glass. “Our eyes are supposed to meet from across the room, and we’re supposed to be drawn together like magnets. We’re supposed to waltz across the floor, lost in our own little world with bubbles and pastel colors, and she’s supposed to love me. We’re supposed to get married and live happily ever after. Why the hell can’t that just happen already? I played by the rules. I did the ‘princess in a tower’ schtick for years, and now I want my Prince Charming already. I’m not supposed to have to rescue myself. I’m not supposed to have to learn self-love and fight to make Prince Charming want me. This is stupid. My life is stupid…. Real life is garbage, Plagg,” Adrien hissed, downing the entirety of his champagne.

“Kid,” Plagg cooed sympathetically. “Go back and hang out with hat-boy. Please. He’ll—Oops.” Plagg ducked back into Adrien’s collar just as Alix came into hearing range.

Adrien looked up, eyeing his classmate warily as she approached.

Alix raised a hand in greeting and turned to lean up against the wall next to Adrien. “Sup, Wallflower?”

“Uh…nothing much.” Adrien shrugged, looking back out at Marinette. “You?”

“I got sick of Kim bellyaching about…” Alix paused and glanced sideways at Adrien. “Did you hear that your ex, Marie, has been sleeping around a lot since you two broke up? Some guy got her knocked up, and now Kim’s in a tizzy about it since she still comes crying to him about everything. He fell for her when he was trying to get over Chloé, and I’m not sure Marie’s been any kind of improvement. You heard about any of this?”

“I’m not very well connected as far as the rumor mill goes,” Adrien admitted.

Alix gave a snort of amusement. “Probably better that way because—I mean…have your ears been burning lately? Everyone’s been spreading rumors about you for the past couple months.”

Adrien shifted uncomfortably, neck and ears going red.

“Sorry,” Alix amended, actually sounding contrite. “I didn’t think you’d care. Haven’t people been talking about you since the day you were born? I thought famous people had tougher skin.”

“My love life is kind of a sore subject,” Adrien mumbled, flagging down one of the servers to exchange his empty champagne flute for a glass of red wine.

Alix slowly nodded in understanding as she caught where Adrien’s gaze was focused. “Yeah. I’m really sorry to hear about that. It only started going around about a week ago that Marinette was the one that left you crying on that park bench last month. Until then no one really knew what was going on with you, but now…” Alix trailed off. “I guess that’s a sore subject?”

Adrien took a big gulp of his wine.

“Sorry,” Alix muttered. “Uh…So…Well…Your outfit looks pretty rad. I like the hair. It’s kinda Chat Noir. It’s cool.”

Adrien blinked, shifting his gaze away from Marinette to study Alix’s outfit: a black suit jacket and a lime green tie paired with a pink button down and blue jeans.

“Thanks,” he chuckled. “You’re looking pretty cool yourself.”

Alix beamed. “I don’t wear dresses. I mean, I’m not…I’m not a typical girl, so when the rest of the gang went dress shopping, Marinette helped me pick out something that was more me.”

Adrien smiled sadly. “She’s a good friend like that.”

Alix bit her lip. “I’m sorry that things didn’t work out. I’m actually kind of pissed after all those years and all that effort and all of those schemes to get you two together that I got dragged into.”

“We’re not done yet,” Adrien mumbled, looking back to Marinette. She laughed at something Alya had said, and Adrien couldn’t help but smile at the warmth that her laughter sent rushing through him. “We’re just on a break while we work some things out. We’ll be back together in no time.”

“Ha! Someone’s delusional,” Kim barked as he swaggered up to Adrien and Alix.

“Kim, back the hell off,” Alix snapped, moving to put her deceptively tiny frame in between Kim and Adrien.

“What?” Kim snorted. “It’s the truth.” He glowered at Adrien over Alix’s head. “Marinette is so over you. After five years of waiting for you to get wise, she’s finally moving on.”

Adrien kept his eyes trained on Marinette and tried to breathe normally. He took another sip of his wine and muttered into the glass, “You’re wrong. She loves me, and we’re meant to be together; we’re just spending some time apart to work a couple of things out at the moment. I’ll be happy to invite you to the wedding in two or three years.”

Kim burst out laughing. “Wow. You’re worse than I thought. You really believe that, don’t you?”

“Kim,” Alix growled in warning.

“News flash, Agreste,” Kim snickered. “She dumped you. Like, permanently. Welcome to the Reject’s Club.”

“Y-You’re wrong.” Adrien’s grip on his glass stem tightened. His heart was beating in his ears. He could hear the blood rushing, leaving him lightheaded.

“Am I? She spent years turning other guys down because of you, and now she’s rejected you too. Am I the only one who sees the poetic irony here?” Kim drawled.

“You’re drunk, Kim,” Alix spat, putting her hands on his chest and trying to push him back.

Kim didn’t budge. “I mean, look at you. You’re over here making eyes at her, and she hasn’t looked your way once all evening, has she?”

Adrien took another drink to avoid answering. She just didn’t know that he was there at the party in order to look for him. Still, he felt dizzy.

“Has she?” Kim challenged.

“Kim, you’re being a total ass. Stop before you get him akumatized, will ya?” Alix shoved harder. “Just because your slut got herself preggers, that doesn’t give you the right to use Adrien as a punching bag.”

“Why not?” Kim hissed down at Alix. “He deserves it. Someone should show him that he can’t just get away with treating women like toys. He can’t just play with them and then toss them aside once he gets tired of them even if his dad does have enough money and power to bribe and threaten them into silence. Alix, look at all those girls he was sleeping with a couple months ago,” Kim argued. “And he didn’t just hurt them. The whole time Marinette was so depressed. You should know that better than me, Alix. You spend more time with her than I do, but the whole time he knew how Marinette felt about him, and he still ran around with all those women, all the while rubbing it in Marinette’s face and still pretending to be her friend.”

“I didn’t know how Marinette felt about me,” Adrien protested, finally meeting Kim’s eye. “If I had, I never would have—and I didn’t sleep with any of those girls I dated, Kim. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so casual about relationships, but those girls were using me at least as much, if not more than I was using them.”

“Well, what about Marie?!” Kim snarled. “You slept with her! She told me her first time was with you, and then you started mistreating her and ignoring her and pushing her away just as soon as you’d got what you wanted from her, you spoiled rich brat. You can’t just treat people like that!”

Adrien’s face twisted in bewildered amazement. “Kim, I’m sorry to tell you this, but Marie lied to you. I never so much as kissed her.”

“You’re the one who’s lying!” Kim started to lunge but was held back by Alix. “Marinette knows the truth, at least. Marinette knows what a slug you are, and she’s never going to be with you. She doesn’t want you, Agreste, so leave her the hell alone. You’re only kidding yourself if you think she could love scum like you!”

Adrien’s pulse quickened. He couldn’t breathe.

He could barely feel Plagg’s claws as they gently pressed into Adrien’s shoulder. He felt numb.

Adrien reached up to rub at his neck where the bruises had long ago disappeared.

“Kim, I swear I’m going to kick you in the nuts if you don’t stop,” Alix barked.

Kim was too drunk to listen to reason. “No one’s ever going to love you because I’m gonna make sure everyone knows what a liar and a coward and a sleazewad you are! What are you even doing here?”

The room was spinning.

“No one wants you here,” Kim continued, lashing out at Adrien in his own heartache. “No one likes you. Not even Lahiffe. People only talk to you for your money. No one actually likes you. No one—”

“—Excuse me.” Alix grabbed Adrien’s glass and splashed what little was left of the wine in Kim’s face. “Go outside and sober up, Kim. You’re an ugly drunk, and no one likes you this way.”

Adrien bolted, darting through the crowd of dancers, rushing for the doorway out to the uncovered part of the deck at the stern.

“Adrien!” Alix called after him, but he didn’t dare stop.

Adrien couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t stand to be around so many people. He was going to pass out. He needed air.

He knew all of the awful things Kim had said weren’t true. He knew Kim’s words were born out of spite and hurt, but objectively knowing that didn’t stop those words from cutting Adrien deep.

And so he ran, glancing back over his shoulder periodically to make sure he wasn’t being followed. He ran right into someone.

The impact jarred Adrien, sending him stumbling until two strong yet oddly gentle hands steadied him, half holding him up as Adrien’s legs gave out.

“Whoa, there. You okay?”

In a panic, Adrien tried to pull away, but the hands held him fast.

It was probably for the best, as Adrien’s balance was shot, the room was spinning, and his vision and hearing were going in and out.

“Hey. It’s okay. Calm down. Deep breaths, okay?”

Adrien looked up and saw blue: cyan eyes and teal hair. He took a gulp of air that came out sounding like, “Luka”.

[myvelouri]

I requested off work for today 3 weeks in advance. Sam said she was gonna come to the metal concert. But she flaked. Oh well. Fuck her I guess. Idk. But Jay came! I loved it

He's very sensitive and gets pissy. He's kind of an ahole

But we went to warehouse live to see these bands. It was for Chelsea grin. It was great

A lot of "my people" were there. Like. Alternative! Of course. SO MANY GORGEOUS GIRLS THAT ARE MY TYPE. I was in the pit and this girl looked at me and smiled twice at me. I could have gotten her number. And as you know, at these venues you get to walk around during when bands are setting up. So I walked around and there was so many fucking hot girls that kept making eye contact with me!! I was like wtf am I hot? Again? Lol! It was insane. Even after the show when I went barhopping with Jay! Girls kept checking me out HARD! PROLONGED EYE CONTACT, DOUBLE EYE CONTACT, SO MUCH!

so I met Jay's friend Maura, he met her through tinder but they're friends. They haven't ever fucked. She's actually gorgeous wtf wow how do I not get matches like that, lol. I don't actually have a tinder tho.

Anyway she was cool. Her credit card got jacked but she fixed it and figured it out. She got crushed in the mosh pit too. She's cute and tiny. We were gonna bar hop with her after the concert and we totally did. I also ran into a girl who I knew from OkCupid a long time ago. I never fucked her. But she wanted me bad. Lmao. She actually knew Maura. LOL.

I felt mean kinda just dismissing that girl. She's cool tho. Idk

Um

Lol

So I finally got buzzed and we drank at the place where Jay and maura agreed to. I started getting silly. Bunch of other people at the table they knew but slowly they left. Lmao. It was jus me, Maura and Jay left. I killed the big beer someone left for Maura. Oof. Got me good

We went to Niels bar. It's like an arcade. Well, me and Maura started getting very close. Another one of her friends added me on her Facebook earlier and Maura was like "did you get me too?!" And I gave her my phone and I have itachi from naruto as my keyboard for my phone! And she goes "omg is that an anime background keyboard?" And I said ya. And she lit up. She was so into me lol. She was hype. And she asked if I liked horror anime. She said a name of one and she said she's gonna message me the name of it! I was surprised a girl was so interested me that she even said she'd message ME? LOL. GIRLS GHOST ME. WTF? shocked. And shocked I was checked out a lot. I had my black tank top on, grey beanie, skinny black jeans and my chain. Idk. Cute I guess.

Used to be cuter.

Anyway me and Maura started joking around hard. Somehow we talked about Deftones and she loved them HARD like I do and it was easy for me to keep talking and joking with her and she was amazing. I could date her. I could totally. We are almost the same. I'm so shocked. And she's gorgeous. Oh lmao her friend made out with her. Two girls. She made out with Britney. Lmao Brit was hitting on me and Jay too. But she was drunk

Um so Jay was on the table with me and Maura and me and her were just going off together. And I think I made him feel like a third wheel but he has a girl right now... And I already asked him if he wanted to pursue Maura and he said kinda but not really but kinda. So I felt like it was unfair. I felt dumb for not getting a lot of those other girls numbers. I only meet those gorgeous alternative babes that love metal like me at these places. Godamnit I'm dumb. I was just too sober to do it.

Uh

So as I joked with Maura, called her a dork, talked about exes and everything. I tried to get her to play a game with Jay. But Jay went off and played with another guy. As I'm having a good time with Maura, Jay texts me very salty stuff like "yeah kinda hard to get with a girl when you keep saying shit to her first" and I felt bad. Guilty. But.. she was into me. I can't help that. Jay is adorable btw. But she just was into me. Cause we have a lot in common. I um

I, idk why I can't remember the specific convos. I eventually got Jay and maura playing together. I got some hot funions from the vending machine and shared them with Jay and maura. I fed Maura lol. I'm a flirt. But I tried to feed jay too to make it even LOL but he didn't want that. I started fucking with Maura and shoved a funion in her nose hahahahaha. Then a lil later another one but I said I'ma shove it in her other nostril. And then I told her to come close, and I bit it out of her nose and ATE IT HAHAHA

then I got one in her mouth and said I'ma eat it out of her mouth. I said "but hey we're going to end up kissing" and lol. I did... Idk if she kissed back much but we were both aware that Jay would be upset. Um. I only did that when Jay wasn't there btw.

I talked to her about it too.

I could have gotten with her. I want her as a friend. She's incredible. So much in common and open af!

So we drove back together in separate cars and we took care of her cause she had a headlight missing and she wasn't sober so she can't afford being pulled over. And Jay drove in front and I drove behind her. It was nice

He called me and said he's gonna have her come smoke at her place. And that was my queue to leave them. And he apologized for being salty earlier. I didn't want to ruin our friendship so I let him have her. I really wanted her. but... I don't know. It felt like the friendship was more important

So I did that.

Um

I just

I wanna see Maura again... Tbh.

She was amazing

I drove to my hometown bar and met my regulars there. I told Sherwood and he said I'm an attractive dude. Uh later they said I was hit with the ugly stick and not America's next top model. Ha.. I guess.. that sucks ha.. thank you? Lol...

Ow..

Anyway

I uh

I don't know

So many pretty babes tonight! I am stupid for not talking to any

The show was amazing though wow

I want to start a band so badly

Um

I spent way too much money this week. I'm in debt ugh.

I can't tell you how many girls gave me eye contact and smiles. Wow. It lit me up. I felt so pretty

I haven't had that since like a few years ago

I'm not super fine I guess but I'm pretty I guess. Idk. I just don't understand how attractive I am or am not. I'm so confused about that.

Maura talking about Deftones and the song sextape made me go Gaga. Lol

Um

Idk if Jay even got with her in the end. And he won't tell me

Grr

I feel dumb

I'm too nice... Too caring.

I can't believe the chemistry between me and maura. Lol.

[chroma-asks]

Out-of-Context Chroma System Quotes

(Good luck guessing who said what if you don’t already actively know)

-Motherfuckin’ Spaghetti-O rectum

-Candied baboon ass

-You wouldn’t happen to have a blow torch, would you? (Followed by) The fuck do I look like, an inventor?

-Would you care for some hot grapes…?

-Pls don’t snu-snu the puppet

-Carbonara bananas

-A meme cowboy who says “Yeetthot”

-What if we had an alter named Bacon

-Skyward Sword isn’t bad, it’s just that the boy’s nose is stupid

-Weiss needs more buttcheeks to fill in for her many assholes

-You ever sit and think that battering rams were probably actually designed to look like dicks but history books didn’t like that?

-Fuck me vibrating spider

-It has a daddy kink and hit on Cthulhu, I’m gonna call it what I want

-I put the romance in ‘necromance’

-Go eat Donald Trump’s toenail clippings

-If you say ‘hachacha’ one more time I’m ripping off your dumb nose to put ice cream into

-Hail the Irish, bitch.

-Yes, please don’t ruffle my onesie, it’s Gucci.

-Stop eating all the orange flavored candies you pathetic weenie

-That’s like eating a burrito on Taco Tuesdays

-How are you doing that you have no pupils

-So If Orion walks around without a shirt, he’s completely naked

-You know your house has thin walls when you can hear grandma farting in the bathroom

-So the plural for tooth is teeth like foot with feet. So why isn’t the plural for boot…. beet?

-Gwen puts the “tit” in “competition”

-(in reference to the crusades)Ye Olde Mosh Pit

-Considering Damon’s been harkin’ Harold’s balls all week, I’d assume the latter

-We’re going on the road to El Dorito

-61 vagànias

-What’s this, the Cryptid Lottery?

-That’s it, I’m calling CPS…….Clown Protective Services

-They are seriously playing Blurred Lines in this old people dance club

-Make your ballet shoes 99.9% better by installing syringes filled with chemo in the back

-Black holes are like the Cotton Eye Joe of space. Where do they come from and where do they go

-Wouldn’t it suck if hurricanes and tornadoes were 96% gas?

-Imagine if Vague’s name was pronounced “vagoo”

-PAKA YOU CANNOT NICKNAME JELOSE “JELLO HENTAI” I SWEAR TO GOD

-Anything is mayonnaise when you put your mind to it

-Hhhhhh smells like gonorrhea

-So wait if YOU’RE me, and I’M me, then who’s piloting the flesh jaeger???

-It’s Meat Time™️

-I dance like a freshly peeled lizard

-If I punch a blunt out of someone’s mouth does that make me a weed-whacker?

-“If we get mistaken for an anime enough do you think somebody out there might write an Mpreg fanfic about Damon” “Dear god I hope not”

-I am become symbiote

-If Naraku can also spin webs can he knit a sweater too????

-REPTILES ARE ASLEEP DO ALL THE THINGS NOW

-Beans beans the good for your heart, the more you eat the more you…… love your girlfriend

-Silence you lesser potato

-So I know beefcake is supposed to refer to really muscly dudes but what is it actually like is it a cake made entirely out of beef or is it a cake shaped like a beef

-My love for cheese is canon

-TASTEY MAN

-That really peels my grapes

-Mom said it’s my turn on the flesh jaeger

-Fish-slapping has an entirely new meaning when it’s Damon and Mero going on a date

-Hello would you like to purchase some salmonella

-You must add the phlegm

-Please don’t put your dick in the Christmas water

-The fuck is a ceviche

-By process of elimination…. you are a bitch.

-You are the Mac to my cheese

-It’s the cloaca.

-SOMEBODY HELP TORY’S BEEN HIT WITH SEXY BITCH DISEASE

-Hey just poppin’ in to let you know the Bethesda thing is happening again, k thanks I love u

-Because stabby stabby blood freezy

-sumfin smlel liek toileeeeeeet

-do you want the beesing phuckchurger or not

-I vote we get a pole cause I wanna be the Lord of the Dance 2, Stripper Edition

-don’t forget to water your Satan

-funky funky chunky chunky, monkey butter pet a bee, beep beep sheep sheep, I’m a baby don’t bite me

-No you absolutely canNOT name my theme “Icy London Icy France”

-What is a serial killer but a humble door-to-door death salesman?

-“Deep-fried for your pleasure” “Only the finest of dildas for our resident slut~”

-Take me down to the paradise city where the cows are green and the grass has tiddy

-“An all nutter” you mean a bukkake

-They gonna make us eat at home like some dirty commoner???

-What was that one Disney movie? Humpback of Notre Dame?

-There is no Iceland, only California 2, Electric Boogaloo

-What if the Earth wasn’t actually rotating, it’s all just water currents pushing the continents at a steady pace

-“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s gasoline”“what the fuck”

-What am I, a BDSM version of a Tickle Me Elmo?

-Fanmade STDs

-Naraku, or as I like to call him; Prime Minister of Sluttington

-Take my gratitude and shove it up your ass

-The inside doctor listens to your insides, the outside doctor listens to your outsides because he forgot to use anesthetics

-Like and subscribe to die instantly

-Have you accepted Beefus as your lord and savior

-Go eat one(1) entire lettuce you fuck.

-up the shut slut

-Where there’s a will, there’s a gay

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN POODLES AREN’T A TYPE OF SHEEPDOG?? THEY’RE THE SHEEPIEST LOOKING MOTHERFUCKERS OF THE DOG WORLD

-I don't know if I wanna do the smashing or the mowing. Either way, your ass is grass

-Treat him gently, he’s just a meatball

-I refuse to believe I know big words

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #164: To Fall By Treachery!

October, 1977

Oh hey look!

Whirlwind, Living Laser, and Power Man Not That One! Apparently the theme of this iteration of the Lethal Legion is The Worst.

Then again, the previous version was run by Grim Reaper. So maybe every version of the Lethal Legion is just terrible.

What even qualifies these guys to be the Lethal Legion? Sure, two of them were in the previous incarnation but I don’t think Grim Reaper okayed any franchising. The man is very particular about intellectual property.

Not much to say about the cover. A cool enough battle scene with the Lethal Legion kicking the Avengers’ collective asses. Except for the POV person.

Maybe the Avengers would be doing better if Hank Pym had stayed Ant-Man. Because lets be honest: Ant-Man? Kicks ass. Yellowjacket? Largely ineffectual.

Anyway, lets begin.

WITH FANSERVICE.

He’s single, ladies and gentlemen.

Anyway again, with a filler the previous issue, the Avengers have finally gotten some quiet days to relax, heal, and clean up from the previous several catastrophes.

Now the Avengers can finally look into what is even the deal with Wonder Man. He was raised as a zombie due to the Grim Reaper’s scheming but regained his own memories somehow. During the Grim Reaper’s attack, Wonder Man revealed that he wasn’t quiet human anymore, with eyes that crackled with energy. Ultron’s encephalo-ray had only a temporary effect on him due to this.

So whats the deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal??

Well. He’s become a creature of living energy. His cells are like miniature fusion reactors more than living tissue. Even though his body seems to simulate normal life-signs and functions, he has a totally unique physiology (for now).

He probably wasn’t even dead those years he was dead! Confusing, I know. But perhaps it would be better to say that he was dormant and... metamorphosing. Like a beautiful ionic butterfly.

These answers come from a scientific huddle between Tony Stark, Beast, Black Panther, Yellowjacket, and Alice the lady biochemist.

Her last name is apparently Nugent and she becomes Doctor Spectrum at some point. The things one learns when one just wants to know if a character has a last name.

Anyway, Beast was part of this scientific mosh-pit but he cuts out early, feeling superfluous. Why would Tony Stark even call in a lady bio-chemist? Doesn’t he know that Beast worked in a bio-lab and also is currently insecure about his usefulness to the team?

Doesn’t help that because Beast was too busy making jokes, Black Panther got to all the best exposition before he could.

So basically Beast is feeling underappreciated and useless.

This kind of goes back a ways. Not only has Beast felt useless on the team due to being knocked out or kidnapped or whatever so many times, he also feels like everyone is judging him by his cover and forgetting what he can do. Told to carry heavy things. Yelled at for joking. Disregarded when actual science stuff happens.

Things have gotten so bad he actually misses Patsy, where before he seemed to resent her presence.

I miss Patsy too.

Anyway, can anything break Beast out of this funk? Maybe a dozen hot dogs with mustard.

Except no. The cart guy runs when he sees a blue gorilla man in a trenchcoat very politely attempting to engage in commerce.

WILL NOTHING BREAK BEAST OUT OF HIS- wait what’s happening.

A mob of women has spontaneously manifested to fangirl over Beast. Just clamoring and trying to touch his fur and he has the biggest shit eating grin.

I guess these girls don’t hate and fear mutants. Although its my theory that the Marvel universe is just full of furries because Tigra faced a very similar response in issue #215 when she was on the Avengers roster.

People in the Marvel U just love people with a full-body fur coat.

And are rudely handsy and slut shamey. For shame, the Marvel public.

ANYWAY. Believe it or not, Beast getting his esteem back via effusive female appreciation actually ties into the plot.

A mysterious monocle man with an N ring drives by the growing crowd and hopes that Beast doesn’t recognize him. OH IF ONLY HE DIDN’T HAVE TO DRIVE HIMSELF LIKE SOME KIND OF PROLE.

But, yeah, no, Galactus could run by and Beast wouldn’t notice it right now. You’re good, monocle guy. Well, not morally. You know what I mean.

Monocle man heads to the docks to meet up with... POWER MAN (no not that one).

But the original. The cheap knockoff version of Wonder Man. Eric Josten. He who did a crime and destroyed the Avengers just because he was smitten with Enchantress. And then quit crime because she abandoned him. And then recrimed because Black Widow told him to. And also was in the first Lethal Legion even though there were no morally dubious ladies to tell him to. That Power Man.

Wanna know something hilarious? Between then and now, Luke Cage beat the shit out of Josten for possession of the Power Man name. And Luke Cage doesn’t even really like the name. Perhaps beating up Eric Josten was reward enough.

Eric Josten doesn’t like being reminded that he lost his own, uninspired name and hucks a crate weighing tons at Mysterious Monocle Man, or Count Nefaria for short.

Count Nefaria would be dead and this story would be a lot shorter had he not been smart enough to hide behind a hologram.

He offers to increase Josten’s power should he agree to be in his employ and dang but Josten is impressed by this dude not getting crushed by a crate. He’s in.

Count Nefaria sets him his first task: breaking two others out of prison. We can guess who because they are on the cover.

SEVERAL DAYS LATER, the Whizzer is relevant to this book again.

He’s listening to the news, as old people are wont to do, and not being retired very well. For example, he reads about a prison break and wonders if the Avengers will need help corralling the escapees. And hears about a bank robbery that the police are helpless to stop and immediately springs into action, getting into costume and racing towards the door.

And nearly kills Scarlet Witch.

She was coming to visit his old man self because at this point, he’s still her dad. And to avoid running over her, he slams himself into a wall. ... I know people prefer Magneto as the twins’ dad but are we absolutely sure that this man isn’t Quicksilver’s dad?

Anyway, Wanda starts yelling at him for almost dying again. Whats he doing risking having another heart attack and going out to fight bank robbers? You’re retired, the Whizzer! Tony Stark gave you a nice, undisclosed job and you have a nice home and at least one child who visits! Relax and enjoy your retirement!

And then she steals the bank robbery all for herself.

Also, we finally get the retcon for that time Scarlet Witch flew with Wanda wishing she still had that experimental flying belt she was testing for Stark. Everyone get that? EXPERIMENTAL FLYING BELT. But it didn’t work so we’ll never see it again.

Plot hole filled.

At the bank robbery, the obvious suspects are bank robbering. Living Laser, Whirlwind, and Villain Formerly Known As Power Man. But they are bank robbering on Count Nefaria’s orders.

Hmm... why would a richie rich hire supervillains to rob a bank? Or drive his own car?

But no time to wonder about that. This is an Avengers book so lets see some Avengers. Lets see some Avengers entering the scene by smacking Living Laser in the face with a shield.

Because if there’s one constant its that Living Laser definitely deserves to get hit in the face with a shield.

Although. I’m not sure whats wrong with Hank Pym here. He’s all standing not shrunk but telling Cap he’ll totally shrink on command but why wouldn’t he already be shrunk? Wasp is already shrunk. She knows where its at.

So this is a fight.

Power Man charges forward and WHAM!s Cap before he can get his shield back.

Weirdly, Cap doesn’t recognize him. Despite Power Man embarrassing the kooky quartet and being the impetus behind Cap rage-quitting the team like a Hawkeye.

... So maybe that’s why he doesn’t recognize him. On purpose.

Apparently Hank did finish those power-ups to his and Jan’s powerset he promised to do before he got amnesia because he and Wasp are faster than ever.

Nearby, Black Panther squares up against Whirlwind because... ...? I guess he probably has the best reflexes on the team. Or maybe they have a grudge match because of that one time they fought in a garage.

Anyway, Whirlwind puts the spin cycle on Black Panther.

Geez. Its like when a cat grabs the pull cord for a ceiling fan.

Cap breaks off to catch him which loses the Avengers the advantage since Living Laser is able to recover.

Remember, he once took over a South American country. He was a big deal in his intro issues and a significantly less of a big deal anytime else.

Free of distractions and standing in front of the Perez store, Living Laser prepares to atomize both Cap and the Panther when suddenly Scarlet Witch enters the fight and is MVP again.

I’m digging that she’s consistently so competent recently.

She causes a water main to break, geysering Living Laser up into the air, and causing thousands in property damage that Tony Stark will probably have to pay for.

Huh. Its not clear whether this is her upgraded control of nature powerset or the probability manipulation one. It could go either way.

With Scarlet Witch evening and perhaps bamboozling the odds, Power Man convinces the other two that its time to go. Living Laser melts the street into tar to slow the Avengers’ pursuit.

So the Avengers don’t even bother. Cap decides its too risky for Yellowjacket and Wasp to pursue alone. There will be another chance to get those goofs.

In the meantime, he reflects that the team has been falling short of its rep lately. A subject which he has a lot of bitter, unspoken words about.

Meanwhile, in a secret laboratory, Nefaria has wind blowing his cape indoors. Perhaps small vents set near the floor.

Anyway, there are some scientists. And they are working on something called Project N because of course Count Nefaria would have a Project N.

These scientists were in Nefaria’s employ when last he showed up and tried to blackmail the world with a Doomsmith Command System because the obvious step up from weirdly squeamish Not-Mafia leader was Obvious Bond Villain.

He was stopped by the X-Men but Thunderbird died stupidly and pointlessly, punching a jet to death.

The scientists quit when Nefaria couldn’t pay them, having gone bankrupt on his Obvious Bond Villain scheme but now he has bank robbery money to get them their back pay so they’ll finish the project for him.

One of the scientists even helped design the machine Zemo used to create Wonder Man and later Power Man.

And speaking of Power Man, those three idiots Nefaria duped into working for him are the ideal subjects for the project.

DUN DUN DUN?

Oh and once the Lethal Legion has exhausted their usefulness and Nefaria has sent them off to their doom, he will enjoy “dismissing” the scientists. A phrasing that none of them decide is at all ominous nor do they draw a connection between themselves and the other lackies that Nefaria just said he was going to get rid of.

I mean, look at this. Look at how the lettering changes for that line. He is definitely going to kill them and is only being slightly subtle about it.

Whats that thing about the difference between Intelligence and Wisdom as DnD concepts again?

Meanwhile upstairs, the Lethal Legion squabble. Because most villains dislike each other. I think its a matter of big personalities.

For example, Living Laser is complaining that bank robbing is beneath him. And fair enough. His MO tends to lean more towards pointless destruction and coups. Whirlwind doesn’t like to work for anyone else. Plus, this mansion is dusty and there are no servants so Whirldwind correctly deduces that Nefaria has gone broke and is using the three of them to steal him some quick, easy cash.

But Power Man believes that Nefaria is going to boost their powers and doesn’t think the other two should be so high and mighty when he had to break them out of jail.

Before this verbal spat can escalate, Nefaria calls them down to the lab to totally increase their powers swearsies.

The next day, the Avengers sit around and gossip.

Even though Iron Man is the Avengers Chairman he’s been awfully absent lately. Sure, his employer (how did anyone ever fall for this?) Tony Stark has been having troubles but that’s no excuse! The Avengers need their leader in this trying time!

And Captain America intends to discuss that very subject! Once they have quorum. DEMOCRACY!

Beast finally shows up and brings them up to quorum. He’s been missing for two days but hey, bright side, he’s in a lot better mood.

Captain America: “Beast! Where have you been for the past two days?”

Beast: “Well... I promised Barb, Sue, Melanie and Paty I wouldn’t tell -- but it was a gas!”

Has Beast just come back from an orgy? He’s gone for two days, in the company of several women who presumably were the ones who were groping him on the street, and he smugly insinuates that he’s not going to kiss and tell.

(Fun? Fact: Paty is a reference to Paty Greer, a Marvel artist and Head of Production. That’s, uh, an interesting way to cameo a coworker.)

I can’t believe that this is where Beast’s insecurity plotline was heading. Or rather, I could because I’ve read these issues before, but if I hadn’t I can’t believe that this is where Beast’s insecurity plotline was heading.

I’m not even mad.

Oh anyway suddenly a car is thrown in through the window.

The Lethal Legion have returned for a rematch.

Cap tells the Avengers to hang back until they can be sure that the injured Wasp is okay then they can attack as a group. TEAM WORK, y’know?

But Power Man inadvertently activates Wonder Man’s McFly button by calling the Avengers cowards for not immediately leaping at people who threw a car at them.

I mean, he couldn’t have known that Wonder Man has been dealing with a fear of death, not eased by learning he didn’t even actually die the first time.

Actually, that’s what has Wonder Man so nettled in this particular instance. Power Man went through the same process he did but he didn’t pay the same price Wonder Man did. He didn’t die. He didn’t become some inhuman (but not Inhuman) thing. So fuck you Power Man, you can’t be as strong as Wonder Man because you haven’t earned-

WHUMP!

Yeah. Wonder Man that wasn’t the most brilliant move right there.

Of course, one setback and Wonder Man’s confidence shatters and he’s hesitating in battle again. Of course freezing up in the midst of three supervillains is REALLY ILL-ADVISED.

So despite Cap’s tactical plan going to blork he figures heck with it, charge anyway.

And having draped an unconscious Wasp over his arm and declared that medically there’s nothing more he can do for her, Yellowjacket leaves her and joins in. Also, calls dibs on Power Man. Because that’s how superheroics work.

Usually superheroes also stop crimes instead of waiting for people to attack them at home but the Avengers flipped the script.

Beast leaps at Whirlwind and clings to his back. And manages to hold on despite the spin cycle! Good job Beast!

But then Power Man just peels him right off Whirlwind and punches him into the horizon. If this comic weren’t a coward, he would have made the Team Rocket twinkle.

At least now he’ll be air dried after running through the wash.

Power Man then goes looking to finish off Wonder Man. Professional rivalry or some such? But Yellowjacket intercepts him because he’s got Dibs. And he also enhanced his supersuit by integrating his disruptor gun into the suit powered by his shoulder wing vibrations.

See, now the giant shoulder wings aren’t completely pointless!

Actually, I think he uses them to fly? But I like to think it was mostly ornamentation. Like some nice rims on your car? Because the Yellowjacket suit was originally designed when Hank was going through a chemical induced disassociative middle life crisis episode?

But So Last Season strikes so soon and while Yellowjacket’s disruptor blast hurts Power Man when he thought nothing could hurt him, it isn’t enough to stop him.

It is enough to make him really peeved so now Yellowjacket goes crush, okay? And next, Luke Cage!

And then Power Man’s muscles go all rubbery and he falls over with the slab he was hoisting falling on top of him.

Wonder Man is a bit bummed. He should have been able to take him out from the start. What kind of hero was he that he couldn’t beat up everything forever the first try?

The Avengers really need a therapist on staff. I think being able to talk to someone about these things would help instead of just bottling it up. Or Wonder Man can do what Beast did to improve his esteem.

Anyway, Living Laser and Whirlwind also find themselves with superpower performance problems and Black Panther and Scarlet Witch take them out easily.

Black Panther is not afraid of flipping off a gift horse though and claims that he totally could have beaten Living Laser either way. I mean, probably. That’s his function as a hero in these books. To win, either way, eventually.

And more of Scarlet Witch’s power confusion. I don’t think hurling a bench at someone is really tapping into natural power but also what probability are you altering so a bench just launches itself across a street?

Seconds later, Beast shows up. That is an amazing rate of speed. He was tossed into the horizon! He really booked!

Anyway, despite what Black Panther said earlier, now he’s saying they were cheated of their victory against the Lethal Legion. The Lethal Legion were someone’s dupe and sent them here to be defeated. And beating up villains gift-wrapped for you doesn’t count as a win in Black Panther’s book, no sir.

Perhaps things change later but this kind of cements these thing villains as goofuses. Power Man was already there, having lost his name to Luke Cage. Living Laser was pretty much there too. Despite stealing the Serpent Crown, his second big outing against the Avengers left him an afterthought to his stolen superpowered tyke bomb. And Whirlwind got shot in the nipple once by Yellowjacket. So, okay, maybe they were always goofuses. But this cemented it by making them patsies too.

Oh and the Avengers don’t have to wait long for the other shoe to drop as a giant shock wave makes a sine wave out of the street, tossing the Avengers hither and yon.

BU-THOOM!

The non-secret mastermind of this whole thing shows his face. Again. To the Avengers. We’ve seen him before in this issue and they’ve seen him before a LOOOOOOOONG time ago, back when he believed in the silliest of plans and not personally murdering people.

And like an RPG boss or a pokemon, Nefaria has evolved into a stronger form: EVIL SUPERMAN.

I mean, we’ll get into it more later but basically evil Superman. One of Marvel’s many.

I like his cape askew. Its distinctive but also ludicrously pretentious. That and the giant N on the belt makes this pretty peak Nefaria.

Oh and he’s totally going to kill the Avengers. Yeah. He no longer has qualms about dirtying his hands. With murder blood.

I’ll have further Nefaria thoughts at the end of this story.

Next time: EVIL SUPERMAN

[green-there]

Concerts 2019-February 2020 : favorite songs and tid bits from shows

Cage the Elephant- Back stabbin’ Betty is my favorite song by them. Telescope was really great to hear live because of the soothing tone of the song and the energy behind it and reminds me of being younger feeling moody. It was my friends birthday, and we drove there in a stacked line of cars to the outdoor cathedral. We had to drive down a surprisingly long dirt road, and walked to the amphitheater. We passed these rainbow bicycles strewn about that were for only google workers to use, and I peed in an open undeveloped field half way to our destination. The closer we got the more packed it got. We made it in through the crowds to a grassy ledge way back behind the seats, but found ourselves a good view. When the music began it was so exciting to watch the dad with his kid on his shoulders, the group of hispanic guys singing along, and this tinder date gone wrong unfolding before us. So two couples came to watch next to eachother, and couple A’s frat boy ended up grinding on couple B’s female (EVEN DURING SLOW SONGS)... nothing like a sad slow grind I guess? My friends mom showed up with her personal favorite type of alcohol that she knows my friend can’t stand and drank it for her. The people in front of us started smoking weed, and we ended up moving to a spot where we could watch a close up screen of what the singers actually looked like. Beck seemed desperate when he came on stage mentioning more times than needed that he opened for greenday, and wouldn’t let the poor cage the elephant’s main singer get a break so he wouldn’t feel lonely on stage. He was dressed to the 10s, and had a big crazy finale. Next time I listened to cage the elephant, it was my friend playing cigarette daydream driving to a thai food date with my lovely friend and it was reminiscent of simpler times and very peaceful.  

The Growlers- They have not made a bad album. I love how the singer moves with his music, and I just couldn’t stop smiling at their show in Seattle! I can’t choose just one song I like the best because they all feel so nice to listen to. The guy from the Strokes produced some of their new music, and I was worried at first that it might shift away from their raw sound, but I can’t complain. Its great. It makes me so happy whenever I listen to them even when when the songs have dark themes, there is something really reassuring about his voice. The flight to Seattle was so funny, I watched yes man completely silent with subtitles with my best friend. The first day in the city we walked around with our suitcases feeling especially ‘standing out like a sore thumb’ which made us feel somewhere between embarrassed and fabulous. Our Canadian friends had a cousin we got to stay with and drove us to the show after a city tour, and called in an old favor with the venue people to let in our Canadian buddies. (She’s so cool she showed us this multi floor brick artist loft overlooking the ocean with a band that never stops playing, burning man kind of creative energy) Long story short at the concert, I went to get us all drinks, couldn’t bring them to the floor (drinking age in Canada is different than US and we didn’t think ahead) so I had to drink all the drinks I bought for us. Very tipsy I danced held and had an emotional connection with the flamboyant fella next to me, along with anyone willing. I was in a floor length sparkly black sheer dress- so I was feeling hot haha. The venue was like a formal old style maybe dance hall and had chandeliers. Im pretty sure the walls were painted red, but I cant be sure. 

The Oh Sees- They were sold out in San Francisco, which is why we went to Seattle! My friend is a psych rock connoisseur, and says that she has been listening to them 2 years going and is still in love. Their mosh pit was fantastic, and my ears were ringing for the next couple of days. Very experimental, and the songs all have a wonderful way of combining which I really appreciate. The Daily heavy is a very exciting song, The duck intro never fails to disappoint. I dressed in ripped jeans, combat boots (thank god), and a jean jacket. We spent touring with my friend bf in the city and the gardens, ending up on this very hip part of town. The grunge phase was never just a phase for Seattle, but a life style. The poles on the street were like an arm width thick with posters tacked one on the next. My friend almost got hit by the door by thee Oh Sees lead singer she has been geeking out on and was flattered. I was trying to find her a suitable hook up, but we wern’t so lucky. The venue was dark and moody with hip band posters on the walls upstairs. We got some drinks and talked about how nice it was to not have to worry about how to hold our arms or think about our hands, because we had drinks. The first band I really didn’t like. The Oh sees had suuuch nice crowd energy. We went up to the non gendered bathrooms at one point, but my friends favorite song came on right she was about to go in and she just said fuck it and we ran back downstairs. I moshed and it felt so so nice, and I stepped out so I could keep an eye on my friend when she went in. I didn’t want her to get overwhelmed or hurt without someone to get her out. She did really good at just going with it. The outro to the concert was bizarre and lengthy, and a good way to finish her off.

The Mystic Braves- This was my first show I saw at the Chapel in San Francisco, and it was so wonderful! Amazing grapefruit tequila something I tried, everyone was really laid back, and I just had this feeling of being really happy I got to be here at this place and time. And the disco ball looks so cool watching how the lights carry across the bright red interior super steep ceiling. There were candles along the side walls, and I felt like it was really fitting for a repurposed church. My favorite song by them is can’t grow peaches and cloud nine! The lead singer wore really tight pants. My friend said she recognized different musicians there. I was admiring so many different beautiful people that were collected around that stood out in a way that next to each other they seemed to fit (if that makes sense). I went up to the upstairs bar and pretended like some wealthy moody city person like a sultry vampire-y version of sex and the city. Downstairs after the show we went to a bar filled with distorted clocks and ate frys, talking about how nice it would be to talk to people and know what to say. 

Astroid No. 4- They played the same night as The Mystic braves, and we got there late, so we just caught the tail end. They are note worthy though, they have a good sound.

Andre Moya- Claro Esta En Mi Corazon makes me get that feeling like eating really good chocolate does- if that makes any sense. Summer’s Daughter is so dreamy, his sound is gorgeous! It was a couple days before Halloween, and it was supposed to be a costume party kind of thing, so it said. My friend and I went dressed as clowns and we are stand off-ish typically even when we don’t want to be. We parked and some dude made fun of us before we even got out, and it was so hard to go in but we drove all the way out to santa cruz to see him in a wind storm. Anyways it was like 7 of his friends hanging out drinking beer when we went up, none in costumes. He didn’t get to play much because some miscommunication with the Catalyst where he was playing, but he was so sweet! They threw together costumes when we came, and he introduced us to his friends and gave us beers, and we did our best to talk. Such a beautiful legs and long hair, not to mention a very dynamic painter! I got asked on the street by a kind guy if I wanted to go get dinner with him and I politely declined. Our clown duo me and my pal went to Pluto’s cafe who are opened until 3am and ate vegan nachos, and I was convincing myself that I could feel drunk off a beer. The drive back wasn’t as scary and windy thank god.

The Dead Ghosts-  They got one of their songs on a Canadian sitcom show called Letterkenny! They played at the Chapel, and the singer was so funny he dedicated one of his last songs to this couple who were choking on eachothers tongues the entire time. Its funny that he made a point of that because me and my boyfriend were going to makeout for a sec to see if we could not be anxious sober doing that, but I wussed out. He talked with us for a while after the show which was really cool. I really like ‘When it comes to you’ by them. It felt so nice just him like sitting on the stage chatting with my friend and boyfriend about the funny things he’s come across, his travels, what his music reminds us of and the such.

Torrey- They were so sweet! My boyfriend described them as great sunset music and got all excited when they had a couple of free CDs, but didn’t get to them in time. He talked to the main girl and she mailed one to Costa Mesa for him! Scruffy is my favorite song by them, I agree they are great sunset drive music. She was so cute! 

The Shivas- So they started the band back when they were teenagers in Oregon, and the Catalyst was their first venue that opened their doors to get them on their first little tour! They were very thankful and gave them a big thanks during the show in Santa Cruz. You make me wanna die is their biggest song, and I’ve loved it for so long, its the best feeling to put a face to a voice! And they have such a cute look! The guy in control of the lighting had a few projectors pointing at the band and had a different colorful puddles of dyed oils, water and bubbles that he would distort with the music, which was really exciting to watch. Turn me on is a great song, and I bought a pin for a dollar with the cover art on it. 

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard- Driving in the city my best friend does very very good at and Im proud of her for it. We parked in this absolutely massive parking garage that felt like an extended dream walking through the huge in ground spiral upwards searching for a door. We made it up, but I freaked my friend out a bit getting into the surreal feeling of the place. The street was filled with cool people, and we often talk about how we wished we could smoke. But my friend and I had the same problem with track, which is we are both just bad at breathing. Huge dream like open space building in a tight line spiraling upstairs to this overly formal but massive room with huge arches and a tall tall ceiling. Big huge fans in those windows to get this massive body of humans some air. People smoked weed around us in the crowd, so we were in and out so my friend wouldn’t have to worry about breathing. Their concert was something brand new. It was like the first time being in the snow or something- just insane. This show was their first release of Infest the rats nest. They have a huge group of guys, including 2 drummers that play in sync, and OH MAN. The energy in that room and how we all fed off the transitions in the music and how you can see physically how people in the audience change with the music. Plus their music brings up things that genuinely frighten me like climate change. I just recommend the whole album of infest the rats nest. And fishing for fishies is a song that sounds child like and a completely different tone which I was listening to before I went in and was completely caught off gaurd. 

Stonefield- They are the second band I’ve bought a shirt from (Wooing was the first band). Its really cool. They remind me of classic rock music when people started getting all experimental. The whole band is female and they all came out wearing matching corduroy pants and jackets, each in a different color, and all have really long hair. I really like People by them and Delusion is great too. They are so hot ah man what a power move to wear all corduroy matching suits and play so hardy ooh man. 

Twin Peaks- The crowd surprised me! Lots of people who obviously went to Berkley which was a bit intimidating honestly. They have a lot of nice songs, Making Breakfast and Shake your Lonely are good for a morning perhaps where you are making breakfast. I can see it walking somewhere laid back. Mid-day only if its summer and you are by a body of water.

Post Animal- Their first album is great, then they got a bit more of a pop sound. Buried gold in that first album! What the heck they make an album like that and then got popular for their pop?? That first album shows that they are great at what they do, and hopefully it will get dug up and popular and they will come home to psych rock papa. Tame Impala got big for it, so if they are worried about being less liked for more of a psychedelic sound then piggy back on tame impalas newer fan base. Not ideal but PLEASE such posibility lost when they rolled over and went pop.

The Drums-  “I want to buy you something, but I don’t have any moneyyy, I don’t have any moneeeey!” There is a real hit home chorus if Ive ever heard one. Very much a surfer feeling, and Im for it. Dark themed beachy pop (for their older stuff), great control over his voice, and he dances when he sings which I love. Their new stuff has some tech-y sounds in it. They played in the Catalyst too, but the big room for them because they are more known. 

COWGIRL CLUE- Walked blind into that one. Had no previous knowledge of music like hers before being there. We were so worried that her microphone wasn’t picking up her voice, and thats why we couldn’t make out her words. She’s dating a guy from the garden so I heard. CHERRY JUBILEE is honestly a banger and it took time to realize it haha

The Black Lips- The girl in the band is so hot I love her look so much! They played in San Jose on this street with nice art galleries on and around it. O Katrina and Crystal Night are my favorite songs by them. They have an interesting mix of band members, they all have their own distinct style which is unusual, but it was nice. And the audience was the same kind of assortment of the outliers which makes me comfortable. The bar had a kind of rugged presence that was the first of its kind for me.

Ohmme- I cried hearing them sing. Such insane knowledge of how to use their voices, listening to them in person it makes sense when people talk about voices as instruments. They know what they are doing and they just work so well together. I have this feeling that there is possibly an Irish folk influence? Im not sure if Im reading that in. But that, some great guitar shindigs that they play, there is an element of surprise as their songs transition in intensity. Give me back my man and Fingerprints are so satisfying. Wheel is their newest (and real good). AND THEN SHE WHIPPED OUT THAT VIOLIN Oh man so talented. Plus they brought up points for being pro choice, access to period material, strong feminist power here ahh

Wand- The singers voice is so distinctively peaceful and entrancing, the music is psychedelic and makes your mind wander with it like a dream. They remind me of Radiohead but my friend said those are figting words (haha).They played at a venue attached to a bar made for old guys to hang out in, and you could tell by the crowd. Anyways. Im convinced their bass player was checking me out and I was very flattered. He had a beautiful hairline which is something I didn’t know could be beautiful- but it really works nicely with his face structure. The singer uses a violin bow to play electric guitar with which is a very new concept to me! My favorite part about them is the transitions of intensity throughout their songs, there is something almost orchestral about it that just makes me tear up thinking about. The lighting was absolutely beautiful! You remember the Shivas concert I talked about with the lighting being experimental pools of colored translucent liquids and oils on projectors all moving with the music? Well this was that but evolved. Pricy looking projectors and high saturation colors. The motions of this music just carry you through so many feelings and just being a part of the color and music just melts ya. Bee Karma, 6661,Wonder, Keep you up Aghhhh so good! so so so good.

Bridget Dawson- She was so cute! A band of misfits! She makes music with the Oh Sees now and then, and I liked how they had saxophone in all their songs. They played at the chapel, and we got our favorite grapefruit- tequila drinks. Its called Paloma I think. This guy who plays spanish classical guitar live stream on his instagram now and then and dresses all 70s (He sang both my friend and I into songs on his instagram live feed and made us geek out kinda hard) was talking to Andre Moya and we were giving them some space to talk to the bar tenders before we went over because we think they are cool and we were kind of embarrassed for being legitimate clowns in front of Angelic Andre. Any who, Bridget Dawson has a beautiful voice and you can really tell she loves making music. When the band was playing I was just imagining how I could run into them just like grocery shopping or at the library or somewhere unexpected because we are all little people with our own lives and minds and how you never know who’s in that creative stream of consciousness until you dig around a bit and really listen to how they perceive and interpret the world.

Mr. Elevator- You can tell by the singers voice that he kind. Dreamer is my favorite song by them! Nico and her psychedelic subconscious not only is a great name for a song, but was really fun to see people really get into dancing to that song. I really appreciate the people who want to dance and just do because they feel like it and don’t need any other thought than that to move. Getting to this frame of mind would feel so freeing, and Im taking my baby steps to allowing myself access to my voice and body. The crowd’s energy was just at a place I really want to be. They play a lot of electric keyboard and organ (organ? Oregon?) The singer had such an embracing energy about him I wish we could be friends :)

Kamikaze Palm tree- The keyboardist that played with Wand reappeared in The Catalyst’s mid sized room for the first set (and my personal favorite of the 3 bands that night). Here we had first band member: very focused beautiful drummer/singer with a white mullet- very etherial, second band member: an individual who had eyes like death that would find a victim to stare into in between bouts of expressive movement while they played guitar (lipstick, cute little hearts on the cheeks, curly hair, preferred gender unknown), and third: our sweet keyboardist that played with Wand earlier. The guitarist was all over the place, the other two were the picture frame. The keyboardist was obviously entertained by the guitarist, and the drummer/singer was back and forth between guitar in front, drumming in back, singing wherever she was at the time. Their music has as much energy and movement as their action of performance. My favorite part was when the guitarist stared into my soul with dark eyes. Looking into someones eyes is one of the most intimate actions you can have with another person, and they gave me a dead stare I was so flattered and enjoyed observing their stone-like expression. And their music feels like they get the same ups and downs going between the energies of peace and chaos. It was like an inner dialogue behind their music, and I couldn’t help but cry smiling like a weirdo. There weren’t many people at the venue yet, so it was a little practice of letting myself feel(and I don’t think I was too obvious thankfully).

Froth- They played after Kamikaze Palm tree. These guys had an interesting social dynamic. The drummer seemed to be micro managing the volumes of their output, and had an extensive dialogue with the guys in charge of sound. But maybe the last band put it on odd levels or something (which I wouldn’t doubt.)  The singer seemed really tense about the situation, and the guitarist was just obviously tired of dealing with the drummer. They wanted to be under red light the whole set. The singer seemed like he would be nice, and the crowd got really big out of nowhere. The next band to play was Duster, who apparently hadn’t played in something like 18 years. But what a place to be put in! Right after the dynamic Kamikaze Palm tree just had, and before someone that was a dear loved long lost loved band of a large mass of people!

Duster- Upon reading their Spotify description it seems that they started up at the end of one categorization, and before the beginning of the next, so they were popularized in their later years because they were genre lost and recaptured. But wow I could feel their space influence at their show, definitely music to travel and/or cry to. I loved their transitions, their following was so happy to see them you could just feel it! Its contained and deep in a way where I cant quite place. Their songs have a range. Some are looking up into the stars, feeling your body shift into them as you realize how you are a part of each other (a song like topical solution), or being outside as a storm approaches and overtakes you so you get to the point of feeling the warmth in your blood moving separate from the coldness of your skin, and the process of getting where you need to be to be (Echo, Bravo). 

[bthenoise]

Q&A: Anthony Green Chats Bert McCracken Collaborations, Mosh Retirement & Predictions For The First-Ever Rockstar Disrupt Festival

Photo by Hayley Rippy

With the days of the Vans Warped Tour, Taste of Chaos and Mayhem Fest sadly behind us, this summer sees the birth of a brand new traveling festival featuring the likes of some our scene’s biggest names. 

Dubbed the Rockstar Disrupt Festival, the 25-date summer trek is a new spin on the previously listed fests hosting 14 fan-favorite acts such as The Used, Thrice, Circa Survive, Sum 41, The Story So Far, Atreyu, Sleeping With Sirens, Andy Black and more.

With just three weeks to go until the highly anticipated summer circuit kicks off this June, we reached out to some of the artists playing to get their predictions for the first-ever Disrupt Festival.

Today, we are sharing what the creative and forward-thinking Anthony Green had to say about the inaugural, Warped-friendly festival. To see what the Circa Survive frontman said about potentially collaborating with the likes of Thrice and Bert McCracken of The Used (again) plus who he might come out of mosh retirement for, be sure to look below. Afterward, make sure to grab tickets to the first-ever Rockstar Disrupt Festival here. 

Lastly, if you’d like a chance at winning free tickets -- yes, FREE! -- head here.

Which band do you think you are most excited to watch every day on Disrupt Fest?

Anthony Green: I think it's probably a three-way tie. Can I do that?

Of course!

Alright, because I'm really excited to see Meg And Dia for the first time since I toured with them back in the day on Warped Tour -- like back in the day, day. And I'm really excited to see Juliet Simms since I have never seen her. But I love The Used and Thrice so much. They make me so happy to watch. And I've never seen Sleeping With Sirens before, so I'm really excited to watch them.

Nice! If you could create new music with any artist on Disrupt Fest who would it be and why?

Oh, shit. That's crazy because me and Bert [McCracken, The Used] have been talking about doing some stuff together. And I know that I've been talking to Meg & Dia about possibly singing and doing some writing [together] while we're on tour. God, there's so many people on this tour. I've been trying to write a song with some of the dudes in Thrice or work with any of those guys on something creative for like 15 years. So there's going to be lots of opportunities for that to happen.

When you're out on the road with people, is it common for you to try and be collaborative with them?

I like to do that. I like to jam all the time. When we find ourselves touring with people that I look up that are like, creative gurus, I just want to have as much time as I can with them.

It’s cool you talk about working with Bert more since you guys just did those Nirvana covers together.

When we were [writing] those, we were like, “Man, we should cover a song together on this tour! We should write.” He and I are a lot alike, and we've known each other for years, but we've never really gotten to know each other more than like, “Oh hey, what's up, dude?” Like, mutual respect. We're starting to learn more about each other and we both work really well together. So I feel like it will be fun to jam with him. He's a great guy.

That would be really special. Okay, so next question. How do you think Disrupt Fest will compare to your days spent on the Vans Warped Tour?

Well, I think this lineup is all people who have toured [Warped Tour] for a really long time. And I think that having had that experience, you know how to do it well. You know how to do it in a way where you're having fun, you're making good decisions and you're connecting with people -- not just like the audience, but I'm talking about with each other [on tour]. And I think everybody on this tour has [been touring for] such a long time and kind of have this six degrees of separation with everybody. So I think my prediction is that people are just, they're mature and responsible and you don't have to deal with any kind of dumb bullshit you have to deal with when you're younger and you're trying to deal with things in a more destructive way.

Do you think that's one of the reasons why when you were pitched this tour, it was a no-brainer?

Yeah, it absolutely was. When we were pitched the idea, I know The Used and Thrice were already committed and they were talking to Sum 41 and we were like, “Man, this is just all people that we know and respect and you know that the environment is going to be healthy for your mental health.” You know it's going to be a bunch of people who just love music and are trying to take care of themselves and each other in a way where it just makes the music pure.

This next question might be the opposite of that being a little more irresponsible. Not in a negative way though. But who’s the person in your band least likely to shower during this long summer run?

That's easy. Me.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, dude. I forget. There's like no time in the day to get everything done that I want to get done that I have on my docket, you know? So like, I forget to eat, I forget to sleep and I forget to shower. So I need to get those three things more balanced when I'm busy. But yeah, there's definitely been summer tours too where like, I’ve hit enough swimming pools where at the end of the day, if I'm jumping in a swimming pool, all the chlorine just kills everything anyway.

Bert once told us that he made a whole Warped Tour without showering once. Have you ever gone that long without showering?

Honestly, I'm gonna tell you the truth about that statement that Burt made. I'm surprised he remembers. Honestly, I couldn’t string together one full day of any Warped Tour I ever did. I was so fucking wasted. So I'm surprised that he remembers.

Okay, another question. This one should be easy. Which band do you predict will have the biggest hangout bus this tour?

Probably Circa. I'm already planning on all this shit -- got a little speaker ready, I'm getting like a little outside speaker, like a jam box, and I’m gonna get some lawn chairs, a little thing that makes some coffee outside, like a grinder and French press. [I’ll] do some grilling. I'm excited to have some hang time.

Are you going to be touring with any of your family at all?

You know, the older they get and the more they multiply, it becomes difficult to get them all out on the road. I know that they're going to be around for Warped Tour on the East Coast. And I know that they'll be out for a couple of shows. But you know, touring is daddy's time. When I get on the road, that’s da-da’s time right there. That's my time to work, make music, have a little fun. I don't think I'm ready to give up too much of that daddy time. You know, when I'm home, I'm pretty locked in. And [on the road], I need to get out there and just focus all my energy on the show and making music. It [gets] tough when the kids come out. When they get a little bit older, and they can play -- like they can actually come and join the band -- that will be awesome. Like when James is a couple years older and he can like play guitar or he can do something where he can work, that'll be great [laughs].  

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A post shared by Anthony Green (@anthonygreen666) on May 16, 2019 at 5:36am PDT

Yeah, that'd be awesome! Which Disrupt Fest band do you think will have the gnarliest mosh pits?

Oh shit, that's hard to say. It's like, it could be Sum 41. It could be Sleeping With Sirens -- kids go crazy for that band. I could see Thrice, they have some jams that are just so fucking huge. Oh, you know what? It’s The Story So Far. That’s the band that will have the biggest mosh pit. I don't even know how that slipped my mind. Kids love that band. They're fun. They have that good energy, that positive energy. They're all handsome. People are going to go crazy. I'm going to be in the pit for that band.

We were just going to ask, would you want to get into the pit for any of these bands?  

I come out of mosh retirement from time to time for a special occasion. But I don't know if Disrupt Fest is going to have any of those moments. My 37-year-old body -- people don’t know I'm [actually] 57 -- my 57-year-old body can't handle the mosh pitting and the crowd surfing as much anymore. Like, the last time I jumped out in the crowd, I was like “Yeah, I'm so cool!” And then afterward, I like pulled a muscle in my leg and my back hurt. I'm an old man.

Which band will have the loudest sing-alongs?

Oh shit. That's hard for me. I know Andy Black has a lot of real sing-along songs, very anthem-y numbers. Fuck, I think Thrice has some serious sing-along parts. Oh no, The Used will for sure. Because [for] fucking “Taste Of Ink,” people will go fucking crazy on that fucking chorus. I can hear it.

That's a good answer. If you could do guest vocals during someone’s set this summer, who would it be and which song would you pick?

Shit, that’s hard. That's a tough one. It’s kind of hard to pick. But I fucking want to come out and rap during Sum 41’s set. Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do [laughs].

Lastly, what are your final predictions for the first-ever Disrupt Fest?

My final prediction? Well, I think that we're all going to be in really good shape. We're all going to be very tan. I think we're all gonna have a lot of fun. I feel like we're all old enough that we should be taking advantage of the time that we have. And I'm going to try to exercise as much as I can. I just want to be able to go crazy for the whole time that I'm on stage and not be tired once. So by the end of the summer, I want to look like one of the guys from Jersey Shore and just be humongous with huge muscles and be super tan looking.

What's your usual exercise routine when you're on the road?

I do yoga like every other day -- some kind of yoga, like, mobility thing. And then on the other days in between, I’ll do light weightlifting. Sometimes I'll do CrossFit. Sometimes I'll do like, you know, whatever anybody is suggesting that’s around. Like, I want to try to Jiu Jitsu. I tried kickboxing stuff before and I love that. I like to skateboard and play basketball. So I just want to fucking be doing shit and be active. We'll be around a bunch of water so I want to be able to go out and swim and go do fun shit.

[theusualspotcafe-blog]

Unusual Beginnings

Game: Kingdom Hearts

Characters: Riku, Vanitas, Lea, Roxas, Xion, Sora, Kairi

Pairing: Leaku (Akuriku)

Rating: Teen for mild swearing and depictions of blood and bruising (nothing bad)

Author: The Usual Spot Cafe

Notes: Just a random Leaku I had bouncing around in my files for a few months now. I decided to make it part of this AU because I needed something to be the first post and I like this story. Hope you guys like it!

 "Aw come on Riku! You gotta come with me! I have an extra ticket, no charge!"

Riku narrowed his eyes at the dark-haired copy of his best friend. The golden eyes looked at him pleadingly as Riku pushed his glasses up his nose. "Why aren't you taking Namine?"

Vanitas pouted, "she has to work cause someone at the tattoo shop suddenly can't come in. Plus, she has an exam the next day." He paused and waved the tickets to the concert in front of Riku’s face. "Come on! Volbeat is the headliner! I know you like them." He gave a knowing smirk as Riku pursed his lips in defeat. Volbeat was his favorite band, but unfortunately the only one he hadn't seen live yet.

"Fine. Now can you leave me to finish studying? I have an exam in an hour."

Vanitas jumped up and pumped a fist in the air victoriously. "Yes! I knew you would cave." Riku just rolled his eyes as someone shushed Vanitas from somewhere else in the Usual Spot Café. Vanitas looked around with a glare to find the offender, but when he didn't spot anyone he just placed the ticket on Riku’s book. "I'll pick you up at seven! The doors open at ten!"

Riku gaped at his retreating figure, "then why are we leaving so early!?"

Vanitas turned around and shrugged. "Half the fun is waiting in line." He grinned and hurried off to class as Riku stuffed the ticket in his bag, grumbling. He didn't know how or why it happened, but whenever Namine was busy, Vanitas would go to him to hangout and go on adventures with him. Not that he minded, it was kind of nice. Riku got to see a whole new side of the harsh twin and he was fun to hang out with. Truth be told he couldn't wait until the concert. He had heard that Xion and Roxas were thinking about going too, but with some of their Organization buddies. He sighed and buried himself deeper into his book, pulling his long hair up into a messy bun, blushing when girls surrounding him sighed and began talking about him. Red-faced he put in his headphones and lost himself to his studies.

Vanitas bounced up and down on his toes excitedly as the stagehands moved about the stage, getting it ready for the main event. Through the first acts they had managed to get only a few rows back from the front of the crowd. Riku craned his neck to look around at the buzzing crowd, spotting Roxas and Xion some little ways away from them. Riku nudged Vanitas in the side and pointed at them. Vanitas grinned at his brother who turned when he felt someone's gaze on him. The blonde grinned and began waving, pointing them out to the girl next to him. She waved happily, going to move to get closer to them until a tall redhead stopped her and pointed at the stage excitedly, making Riku and Vanitas look towards the stage also as the crowd began screaming. Sure, enough the band had taken to the stage and immediately began playing, much to the joy of Riku and Vanitas. They looked at each other in awe before getting swept up in the crowds crazy dancing. Riku laughed and danced himself, keeping an eye on the pierced adult as he moshed.

Riku kept his eyes trained to the stage while the crowd moved around him. He had always been the type of person that never moved when people tried to push him out of the way, that's half of the reason why people always took him to concerts. He just stood there and danced at a few of the songs, but mostly just enjoying the music and screaming out the lyrics like everyone else. As the crowd shifted again Riku found himself next to Xion and Roxas. Roxas looked at the lilac haired adult in amazement.

"Can you believe this!?" He screamed over the loud bass.

Riku chose not to answer verbally and just gave a big smile and shook his head while Xion and him thrashed next to Vanitas, who had found his way back to Riku. As one song ended and another began the tall redhead pressed up against Riku with a large grin as he danced and sang to the lyrics. Riku grimaced slightly and tried to move away from him. He didn't know the guys name, but had seen him around campus enough to know he was an alright guy, especially since he was Roxas and Xion’s best friend. Unfortunately for Riku the redhead was all limbs when he danced, one moment he was staring at the lead singer with a grin on his face, the next a thin elbow was colliding with his face, right in the middle. And it hit hard. Pain blossomed across his nose and cheeks making him stumble slightly.

"Oh fuck!" His hands went to his nose as he blinked tears away from his vision. When it cleared, Vanitas, Xion, and Roxas were staring him horrified. He could feel the blood rushing down his arms as his nose freely bled, giving him an uncomfortable stuffy feeling in his nose. Vanitas mouthed 'bathroom' and pointed off to the side. Riku nodded and walked off, Roxas and Vanitas following close behind. Xion stayed with the group that had came with her and Roxas. The crowd let them through easily once they saw the blood coursing down Riku’s pale arms. It was a short-hurried walk to the bathroom, Roxas went off to find a worker to get a first aid kit while Vanitas helped Riku clean up the blood.

"Oh man what happened?"

Riku growled and replied I'm a stuffed-up voice. "That stupid redhead slammed his elbow into my nose!" Riku began scrubbing his hands in the sink while Vanitas wet down a paper towel and wiped his face.

"Oh man I'm so sorry! I feel like this is all my fault!"

Riku shook his head lightly as more drops of blood fell from his nose. He narrowed his eyes at the drips and tilted his head back to try and stop the flow. "It's cool. How bad does it look?"

Vanitas sucked in air between his teeth and looked at Riku nervously. "Do you want the truth, or a happy lie?"

Riku tilted his head back up to offer a glare to the adult as Roxas came back with a worker in tow and the offending redhead who was writing his hands together nervously. Riku turned his glare onto him. His hair was long, almost to the bottoms of his shoulder blades and he had it spiked up in the back. His green eyes were wide with worry as he stared at Riku. The worker just sighed and got out the emergency kit, asking mundane questions.

"Was this a fight or an accident?"

Riku’s eyes narrowed at the redhead even further if possible, making the redhead gnaw his lip nervously. "It was an accident."

"Is there an open wound?"

Riku sighed stuffily, "I broke my nose in the pit dude, just clean me up and stop the flow."

The worker nodded and got to it, wiping Riku down with an alcohol wipe before stuffing cotton in both nostrils.

The redhead’s brow furrowed as he stared at Riku. "Oh, geez I'm so sorry! I'll pay for anything medical you need to get! Oh, wow that's so bad!"

Riku shook his head no as the worker left the bathroom with a frown. "It's fine, it was an accident."

The redhead gave an uncertain look. "Are you sure? Man, you look awful!"

Riku glared at him again and got out his phone, using the front camera as a mirror. "Oh shit."

Vanitas grimaced and ran a hand through his hair. "I told you you didn't want the truth."

Riku nodded and lightly began prodding his cheeks, wincing at the pain slightly. Roxas friends elbow had really did a number on him. Not only did it smash his nose head on, but it also gave him two black eyes and split the skin on the bridge of his nose. Riku sighed and put his phone away, looking at the group with a smirk. "Just between us I got into a really cool fistfight here that I totally won." The four adults laughed before heading back to catch the last few songs of the concert.

Riku decided that he would go to the doctors in the morning and make sure everything was fine, which he was sure it was. The rest of the concert he kept stealing glances at the enigmatic redhead who had done the deed. Riku chuckled to himself, he was cute and as far as first encounters go, this could have gone worse.

The following Monday Riku was back in his spot in the café, this time his best friends Sora and Kairi were with him, joking about his face. He had told them the truth of course, even to the point of thinking the offender to be cute.

"Hey Riku?" Riku hummed in acknowledgement and turned from his book to the brunet who just made a disgusted face and covered his eyes comically. "OH, GOD ITS SO GROSS!" Riku rolled his eyes as Kairi laughed. The bruising and swelling certainly did get more gross after the weekend happened. It was now less black and blue and more of a purple, yellow and green. The swelling had almost completely gone away and was replaced by more bruising. The split skin had needed to be stitched up, but he refused to wear the bandage on the stitches because it made him itch.

Kairi leaned forward to get a closer look, "so what do we tell people again?"

Riku smirked, "that I got into a fight at the concert and won."

Sora snorted before turning back to his essay. "Yeah like your lame ass could win in a fight"

Riku looked at him mock offended, "excuse me? Are you implying that I'm lame by going to bed at nine, I can't win in a fist fight?" He gave the brunet a shit-eating grin, "then did I imagine all those years growing up when I kicked your butt at every turn?"

Sora rolled his eyes and laughed, "shut up, you know I know you're a scary monster boxer dude."

Riku grinned and flexed his muscles, making the gaggle of girls that followed him around blush and giggle. "You better remember that!" The trio laughed before falling into silence until someone cleared their throat next to Riku. They looked up in unison, frowning when they saw the tall redhead.

Riku’s eyes narrowed at the familiar face as Kairi put her book down, "is there something we can help you with?"

The redhead blushed, darkening the triangles on his cheek. "I was wondering if I could talk to Riku." He gave a sheepish smile at them before continuing. "I'm the one he got into a 'fight' with."

Kairi’s eyes widened in understanding before nodding, "oh right! Uh yeah! Sora and I were just leaving, weren't we Sora?"

Sora looked up confused, "no I still have three pages to write!"

Kairi glared at him and began picking up his things, "you can finish it in the dorm, lets go!" Sora whined as Kairi dragged him away from the two. Lea sat down across from Riku, looking down at the floor.

Riku sighed and shut his book with a snap. "So, before you say anything I don't expect you to pay anything, I only needed stitches everything is fine."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Actually, I saw you here with Roxas's twin and figured I would formally introduce myself. Names Lea, got it memorized?" He gave a cocky grin as Riku raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Fantastic. I don't think I'll ever forget you."

Lea chuckled and ran a hand through his flaming locks, "I uh also wanted to apologize for doing that to your face..." he trailed off and stared at the carpet uncertain.

Riku shrugged, "it's fine. It will heal eventually. The only thing I'm grateful for is it won't be crooked."

Lea sighed, "are you sure there isn't anything I can do to make it better?"

Riku smirked and put his hand on his chin in mock thought. "Actually, there is."

The redhead looked up hopefully, "anything!"

"Take me out to dinner."

Lea looked taken aback by the blunt request and stared at the teal eyed bruised beauty in front of him. "Dinner?"

Riku grinned and pointed to his face, "I figure that if you're making me live with this ugliness until it heals, you at least need to be seen with it once. Plus, I think you're cute."

"C-cute!?" Lea looked at him in shock as Riku hastily scrawled his number on a slip of paper. "I broke your face!"

Riku handed him the slip before getting his bag over his shoulder. "No, just my nose." He smirked and gave Lea a wink. "Remember, you owe me dinner." Lea nodded dumbly as Riku took off to his last class of the day. Lea looked down at the slip in slight awe before smirking and putting it in his pocket. That encounter could not have gone any better, for once he was glad to have long uncontrollable limbs. He finally got to talk to his crush for several years. The girls that had gathered around to watch Riku glared at Lea as he stood up and walked by them. He just grinned at them victoriously and flipped all of them off before walking out the doors with a spring in his step.

[fuqt]

Performance: Soulfly at 1720.la

With Nyctophile (not pictured), Zombie Eating Horse, Sangre, Skin Flint, Incite and Unearth

And a lesson in metal etiquette So.. This show was filled with so many fucking bands I almost thought I was at The Whisky. Hahaha. People that go to shows know what the fuck I'm talking about. The night was also filled with a brutal amount of fans losing their shit in the pit, endless liquid filled bottles and cups being thrown into the crowd, and even an attempted choking of a fan by a photographer over a fucking spot up front. My dude, you can't do that shit. This is violent music, and we get that you gotta get not only your photos but also your video, but, take a fucking chill pill... hell, take 2 or 3... Fuck it... overdose on that shit. Fans can be fuckheads: from thinking they shouldn't be touched while gripping the guard rail, to recording the entire show on their phones. But, trying to choke someone out for moving in front of you?! Don't be a P.O.S. Especially at a Soulfly show. "My Tribe, Your Tribe," ever heard that Moto? Of course you have. Live by that shit!

The tripod strangle-hold. Homie behind him broke it up. Good looking out. Photo by Anthony Mehlhaff

Don't be a fuckhead! It's not cool. Photo by Anthony Mehlhaff If it's sounds like I'm shaming this mysterious, male photographer, you'd be correct. Our local music scene doesn't need shit like this. So, whoever the fuck you are, Chill. The guy was in the wrong, but you went with the nuclear option immediately. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and I of course didn't see everything that happened between you guys, but, I saw a lot. Be kind, my guy. Moving on. Soulfly has always been one of my favorite bands since high school some 20 years ago! Yeah! It's been that long. Every band I saw was playing hard as fuck and even though there was way too many bands it was awesome to see each band try and out-do the last. It was also great to see and photograph Zombie Eating Horse again (who I hadn't see since Ozzfest 2017.)

Jon Parker, lovingly referred to as, "The Toadmaster" via instagram. Photo by Anthony Mehlhaff Check out the photos and if ya see yourself, hit me up on instagram @betahal9000 and on @fuqt_ and we'll tag ya and post them in the stories. And remember: Don't be a fuckhead. Throwing drinks, moshing, crowd surfing, and all that shit, is good. Pick your brothers and sister up when they fall down, and keep this music alive for my kid. For when, and if, she wants to thrash around a dark, loud room with metal-head strangers. Bonus content! SiruisXM's Metal Ambassador and all around good guy, Jose Mangin hit the stage with Max Cavalera to sing Motorheads anthem, "Ace of Spades."

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